#piss boy needs a break

[pissboyadventures]

Piss boy gets some Christmas wrapping done.

[anime-grimmy]

I've been playing HFW and am currently in the middle of Singularity when it hit me.

In HZD Erend has to hold back on killing Dervahl bcs of "his king's orders" and cos "he got to grow up fast".

Yet, Aloy gets to stab Helis in HZD, and in HFW Kotallo gets to off Regala (when you dont spare her) and Zo gets to off Eric.

My man Erend rly just had the wrong weapon, if he had a spear he would have gotten his well deserved kill too.

Guerilla, do right by my boy and let him stab a bitch!!

[kayden-i-guess]

I've just started Skeleton Key, someone please tell me this 14 year old finally gets a gun. " Oh he's too young-" HES TOO YOUNG FOR LITERALLY ALL THE SHIT HES BEEN THROUGH " He's not ready to kill" HE SLAYED A MAN. HE SLEIGHED A GROWN MAN!!! I love the other inventions they are so cool and Smithers does a great job but please at least ONE gun. or a stun gun that has more than just one fucking dart because that didn't even make it to Point Blanc.

I know he probably won't get a gun, dear god this child needs a break from saving the world.

[witchkittypersonal]

[boxwinebaddie]

heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )

but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,

( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )

and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;

The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx

( helpsksdj )

so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )

so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )

buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )

had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...

PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )

-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )

and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )

...hE GOT KYLE

FUCKING

BROFLOVSKI

and had to place him at /TEN/.

-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...

...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!

...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.

And....

*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*

Scene. <3

[salemontrial]

Six of crows fandom, before you there is a Matthias POV chapter of Crooked Kingdom. Your task is to get through it in its entirety without making a joke about how his chapters are just him calling himself a whore for being in love with Nina or otherwise trivializing his religious trauma and deep rooted issues with purity culture. If you fail 3000000000000000 hammers will fall on you one at a time forever and ever. The hardest challenge of your life starts now,

[lady-murderess]

Hughie really can't catch a fucking break this season, can he?

[imaginealpha]

Tech product guides trying to troubleshoot your issues: lol have you tried turning it off and turning it on again 🧐 I'm not going to read any of the things you said you did, if it doesn't work then get fucked. Go to settings and click this option that you said isn't even there anymore

Reddit: here's some actual helpful suggestions on where to find settings that can fix your problem. We're more reliable than google search. Except for when we just tell you to buy new hardware instead of trying to fix your problem

Some obscure tech blog article from 7 years ago: i *google ad* gotchu *google ad* *google ad* *troubleshooter you never knew existed* *google ad* *solution to your problem*

[glassanimalcollective]

.

[corpsentry]

I heard you listened to kpop. do you listen to stray kids? this is in no way like. a plug. just the mere idea of two of my favorite things (you and the possibility that you like skz too) coinciding is way too joy inducing to me. regardless, I'm wishing you lots of health. all the speedy recovery, all the support and all the love that you need. you've always been one of my favourite artists. in all ways, mostly in how you speak. it makes me want to try a little more. I hope you're living well!!

oh Yeah i am a stray kids enjoyer. case 143 is so silly and quirky and they embody the crab dancing kpop boy group energy i love so well. big fan of the go live album and thunderous from noeasy and all their mvs (especially god’s menu. what is going on there? who knows but i like it). thank you for the well wishes my pelvis has been fixed i’m just dealing with the horror of adjusting to new anxiety meds and like. going back to america in five days. and no energy to exist. but otherwise slay!

[toomuchdickfort]

I am going to lose my shit.

[varpusvaras]

I think that instead of being super apprehensive about Jason and him dating Roy, Oliver should take one look at him and then one look at Bruce and go oh, I'm about to be so annoying.

Oliver starts being so nice to Jason. So nice. Inviting him to family dinners. Giving him both his hero communications and personal phone number and telling him to call whenever he needs something. He gives him new tech and keeps updating his weapons and armor. He helps with missions and clean up and says nothing if Jason is a little rough, apart from patting him on the back and saying good job. He starts keeping his picture inside his wallet and has other pictures of Jason, Roy and Lian framed in the house and tells everyone about him. He starts calling him son-in-law first and then just son and then calls him a Harper and eventually a Queen.

At first it was just to annoy Bruce, but after the first time he tells Jason that he did a good job and Jason starts to tear up a little, Oliver goes oh no, oh I'm actually doing this now. This my boy now. I don't care if he and Roy break up or something, this is my boy now.

Bruce still thinks he's just doing it for the sole purpose of pissing him off, though, and he is so fucking mad. The Justice League meetings have turned into a Cold War zone.

Bruce starts to being so nice to Jason as well, forcing himself to ignore some of the more outrageous things Jason does, and Jason is so, so fucking confused.

[a-b-riddle]

141 who don’t know they are fucking with a reformed maneater

Price: Tries to pull the “just wait” card. Just wait until the next mission to make things official. Just wait until he gets back before you break things. Just wait until the holidays are over to meet his family. Just wait until he’s ready to retire before settling down. You liked him enough to hold out, but enough was enough. Which is when he tries to stop you from leaving with your duffle bag of clothes, insisting your jumping the gun in wanting to move in with him after almost a year together you turn and face him. Your tone sharp. “I'm not asking for too much I'm just asking the wrong person.”

Kyle: he’s a pretty boy and he fucking knows it. But damn when he wants to try and be a fuck boy too? You need to take him down a peg. He may have looks but he’s still the shortest of the 141. You eye him up and down before grabbing your bag. “You’re cute, but you’re not tall enough to be acting like this.”

Soap: Loves to play games. Which is why he thinks it’s hilarious when you’re meeting his friends for the first time to take the absolute piss and make a joke out of it. He’s crude and crass. Nothing like the man who begged on his knees just for the chance to lick your pussy. “Dinnae get upset. Just havin’ a wee bit of fun.” You sigh mumbling loud enough for him to hear “the one time I don’t go for looks and this fuckin’ happens.”

Ghost: Simon who bails on your date last minute, choosing to get shitfaced with the boys rather than take a pretty little bird like you out. He’s surprised to find you had texted him back with an ‘okay’ and not losing your shit or trying to guilt trip him. What he is surprised about is you turning him down when he tries to come over. He knew you’d be miffed about him not taking you out so when he tried to arrange something, you turn him down again. He tells you not to be mad. Shit came up. Your response? “I’m not mad. I’m just no longer interested.”

[ffsg0jo]

ex-boyfriend toji, who's constantly being pestered by megumi about you. you're not his biological mum, but the boy's formed an attachment to you and craves your affection and warmth. you're the closest thing he's ever had to a mother, having been in his life since he was 3, and he loves you like one too. his dad is all hard and muscles and frowny, and you're all soft and sweet and always smiling at him. it's no wonder his dad couldn't keep you, he thinks.

you never raise your voice at him, feed him the best home-cooked meals, and even help him with his homework (he doesn't actually need help, he just likes the way you let him sit on your lap whilst you're on the floor and wrap your arms around him, struggling to figure out what long division is). even after you and his dad break up you never once held it against him (like other exes had) and you never stopped visiting him.

you're hands down the best (ex) girlfriend toji's ever brought home. you actually made an effort to get closer to megumi and get to know him more often. always looking for fun little things to take him to. whether it's a petting zoo, aquarium, or a normal zoo zoo.

you learnt quickly how much he loved animals and never failed to surprise him with a new plushie. one could never have too many plushies, you said to him once, booping his nose and pulling out a cute turtle from behind your back.

(when he finally moved into the dorms in first year, he had about 3 boxes alone, full of stuffed animals. he didn't have it in his heart to pick and choose which ones to take with him, so he brought all of them. you laughed at first when you saw the flood of plushies on his dorm floor when helping him move, but megumi gave you a small smile, repeating your words from almost a decade earlier.)

mini follow-up/context

© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.

[harrysfolklore]

Could you do nailea devora as a face claim? Please and thank you<3

mi bonita - fc43

summary: franco can't stop flirting with a pretty journalist. he has no idea she's lando norris' sister folkie radio: MY FIRST FRANCO FIC!!! that little argentinian man completely charmed me and now i'm obsessed with him. i hope you like this!

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer and 178,530 others

ynnorris summer break was nice, now let’s get back to work 😁

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username1 SO PRETTY

username2 whats up with the norris genes

username3 she’s pretty, she has a journalism degree and she’s lando norris’ sister, it girl

iamrebeccad 😍😍😍

olliebearman Miss youuu

↳ ynnorris you’ll see me every weekend next year, formula 1 driver

↳ username1 their friendship >>>>

username4 the superior norris for real

georgerussell63 Ready to be terrorized by you in the media pen for ten more race weekends

↳ ynnorris you love me

↳ username2 HEEEELP 😭

landonorris Let’s gooo

↳ ynnorris no one knows you

↳ username3 best siblings ever

liked by olliebearman, ynnorris and 328,638 others

francolapinto Empieza el sueño 🥺 @williamsracing Can’t wait to bring it to Monza

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username1 VAMOS

username2 okay i like him already

username3 i still miss logan but im so happy for him

williamsracing 💙💙

alex_albon Welcome mate 🙌🙌

username4 HES SO CUTE HELLO

username5 another latino is just what the grid needed

username6 I STAN

username7 most of you are new to the franco colapinto agenda but i’ve been here for a long time y’all are not ready

↳ username1 i can’t wait for people to realize he’s a menace

ynnorris welcome to f1 😁😁 see you at the media pen!

↳ francolapinto That’s what I’m looking forward to the most 😉 see you hermosa

↳ username1 HELP????

↳ username2 WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

↳ username3 DOES HE KNOW THATS LANDO’S SISTER

↳ username4 oh i can’t wait to see how this unfolds

liked by francolapinto, landonorris and 182,378 others

ynnorris monza time 🇮🇹🇮🇹

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username1 STUNNING

username2 it girl

carmenmmundt Pretty girl ✨✨

username3 this is how you nepotism

username4 drop the skin care routine queen

yukitsunoda0511 You’re the only one allowed to interview me ever

↳ yourinstagram 😭😭 love you

↳ username1 HEELP

username5 oh to be her

username6 lando and yn norris are the moment

francolapinto 😍😍😍😍

francolapinto Can’t wait to meet you bonita

↳ username1 FRANCO 😭😭

↳ username2 seriously does franco know this is lando’s sister

↳ username3 franco is such a menace and his first race hasn’t even happened yet

↳ username4 SOMEONE MEDIA TRAIN THIS MAN

↳ ynnorris 😚

landonorris ????

↳ ynnorris what’s your deal

↳ landonorris I don’t get some of these comments

↳ username1 THEY’RE SO 😭

↳ username2 yn lives to piss lando off

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[la mas bonita= the prettiest] [no hablo ingles= i don’t speak english] [lo siento mucho = im so sorry]

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liked by francolapinto, lilyhme and 187,638 others

ynnorris does anybody know a good spanish teacher?

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username1 HEEEELP

username2 IT GIRL FR

alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍😍

username3 she’s going to give lando a heart attack

username4 SHES JUST AS MESSY AS LANDO

redbullracing We see a Redbull 👀

↳ ynnorris omg don’t tell the mclaren admin

username5 @francolapinto go for it dude

maxverstappen1 The drink >>>>

↳ ynnorris don’t let it get to your head

landonorris Carlos and Fernando can teach you no need to look for tEaChErS

↳ username1 HEEEEELPPP

↳ username2 THIS IS SO 😭😭

landonorris or Checo

↳ username1 YOU KNOW ITS BAD WHEN HE SIDES WITH CHECO

ynnorris choosing to ignore my brother thanks !

francolapinto I volunteer 😍😍😍😍

↳ username1 FRANCO 😭

↳ username2 that’s my boy

↳ username3 HE GOT BALLS

francolapinto La mas bonita 😍

↳ ynnorris 😚😚

↳ username1 LANDO IS GOING TO THROW UP

↳ ynnorris i blocked him

liked by ynnorris, alex_albon and 398,736 others

francolapinto Ready for Baku 😉

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username1 BARKING RN

username2 his first f1 points incoming

username3 how is this man so hot

williamsracing 💙💙💙

username4 ready to watch him rizz yn again

↳ username1 i don’t think he’ll do that again lando already called him out 😭

username5 DONT EVER LEAVE THE GRID

olliebearman 🙌

username6 hide from lando

carlossainz55 See you there

↳ username1 HELP IM PRETTY SURE LANDO TYPED THIS

landonorris SEE YOU

↳ username2 HE IS SO ANNOYING 😭😭😭

↳ francolapinto 😅😅😅

ynnorris Bonitooooo

↳ username1 PAUSE

↳ username2 SHES AS MESSY AS HIM

↳ francolapinto My heart just stopped 😍

↳ username3 GET A ROOM

↳ landonorris I think both of you should get different jobs

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[the prettiest interviewer wished me luck so i should do good]

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked my francolapinto, lilyzneimer and 194,368 others

ynnorris baku ! let’s have some fun 😚

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username1 PRETTY GIRLLLL

username2 she’s wearing blue for williams i don’t make the rules

f1 ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux prettiest ❤️‍🔥

username3 FRANCO COLAPOINTS COME ON

username4 she has the coolest job ever

olliebearman 🙌🙌

username5 notice that lando didn’t like this she fr blocked him 😭

username6 ready to watch franco rizz her left and right again

username7 FRANCO YOU BETTER SCORE POINTS

username8 drop the haircare routine queen

francolapinto 😍😍😍😍

francolapinto La mas bonita

francolapinto This is my new lockscreen

↳ username1 FRANCOOOO

↳ username2 HES SHAMELESS

↳ ynnorris 🥰🥰🥰

carlossainz55 I showed this comment section to Lando

↳ ynnorris and now you’re blocked too!

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liked by oscarpiastri, ynnorris and 401,278 others

francolapinto What a day in Azerbaijan! Huge thanks to the entire team for their incredible work and strategy. This is just the beginning - we're coming for more! 💪

P.S. Special thanks to @/ynnorris for the motivation 😉 and @/landonorris for the... err... brotherly encouragement? 😅 Turns out scoring points is easier than navigating Norris family dynamics

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username1 FRANCO COLAPOINTSSSS

username2 ICONIC

username3 NOT THE NORRIS SHOUTOUT

williamsracing Great day 🙌🙌

username4 NOW HIM AND YN NEED TO GO ON A DATE

alex_albon Let’s gooo 💪

username5 YN NORRIS AND FRANCO COLAPINTO WORLD DOMINATION IDC

username6 if they don’t go on a date istg

username7 THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

username8 franco colapinto let me be your woman

landonorris You’re still on my watch kid

↳ username1 HEEELP

↳ francolapinto 😩😩

ynnorris sooo when are we going on that date?

↳ username1 OMFGGGG YES YES

↳ username2 WE CHEERED

↳ francolapinto I’ll pick you up tomorrow bonita

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ynnorris has added to their stories

francolapinto has added to their stories

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liked by francolapinto, alexandrasaintmleux and 201,378 others

ynnorris he’s a cutieeee what can i say 🤏

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username1 AHHHHH

username2 IT COUPLE ALREADY

username3 lando is not going to like this 😭

lilymhe 🤍🤍

username4 IT HAPPENED

username5 franco is proof that with rizz and a dream you can get anyone

georgerussell63 👀

username6 THIS MENACES TOGETHER IS THE BEST THING EVER

username7 SOMEONE CHECK ON LANDO

carlossainz55 Lando kindly asks that you unblock him

↳ username1 HEEEELP😭

↳ username2 DONT UNBLOCK HIM YN

↳ ynnorris NEVER

francolapinto Mi bonita 😍😍😍

↳ username1 that’s his nickname for her 🥺

↳ username2 LOVE THEM

↳ ynnorris 😚

[hon3y-y]

NUH UH roomate!sukuna had his thot era, it's time for reader to have hers!!! And he's gonna sit there and WATCH it- payback baby. I wanted reader to fuck satoru, suguru, kento, choso, even fucking hiromi- she gonna get it ALLLLLLL before sukuna can even get a taste 😤

cw: noncon filming!

pt 1: here<3 pt3: here<3 pt4: here<3

omfg he would be soooo pissed💀

picture this;

The morning after everything happened, Sukuna was more than ready to make it official with you. He had already planned how he was going to seduce you. He got up early to hit the gym before you even woke up, so when you were finally awake, you would see him all jacked up and sweaty. It literally had his stomach fluttering with excitement at just how fast he knew you'd fold. 

Well, easier said than done, because when he does get home and hear someone in the kitchen, it's not you cutely rubbing your sleepy eyes in nothing but a baggy shirt. Instead, it’s that white-haired freak from last night. 

He literally rolls his eyes, ignoring the greeting the guy sends and telling him to “get the fuck out” to which Satoru just laughs, takes his toast (which he made in Sukuna’s toaster, by the way), and exits the kitchen while taking a bite. Sukuna goes to your room door but is stopped by the obnoxious blond.

“She left, said she was going to see a friend.”

“Why are you still here?”

Satoru shrugs before grabbing the shirt he had thrown onto the couch the previous night and waving goodbye, crumbs from the toast he was eating still on his lips, before the door slams shut. 

Ryomen was floored. Were you two officials? Is that why you finally brought someone home? He couldn’t deny the pinch in his chest, but he shoved it aside. I mean, he would happily break up a home, so even if this was your stupid boyfriend, it wouldn’t dampen anything. He doesn’t mind a little competition. 

At least, that’s what he thinks it’s going to be. Since that night, both of your schedules had been too complicated, and you two had only seen each other in passing. But tonight, he knew you would both be off and it’s the weekend, so he knows you at least don’t have anything till midday. 

You return late, and you are absolutely not alone.

You’re with another guy, some blond man who looks a little too pristine to be found at the club (who he later finds out is kento from your whimpered of “kento! Oh fuck—yes! right there!”).

You don’t even notice that Sukuna's door is wide open and instead stumble straight into your own. and Ryomen is jaw-dropped, shocked. 

He begins to feel like a cuck; all he does is listen to you fuck this random selection of men you’ve created within these recent couple of weeks and fuck his fist stupid. It’s so embarrassing to feel like a hormonal teenager who can’t get a grip. but he can’t stop; he just remembers what you look like under Satoru. 

Night after night, all weekend long, you’re bringing home someone new. although after a while it’s just the same three guys. the annoying blond, Kento (or “the businessman”), and some random boy named "choso,” who he walked in on you giving a blow job to.

You stopped immediately, so embarrassed and shy, as if you didn’t just have this guy with his eyes rolled back, nearly crying every time you gagged on him. Choso, on the other hand, looked too fucked out to care about the third person in the room. 

Sukuna was so hard and horny all the time, and his interest in finding someone to handle it was useless. He wanted you, not some random girl. He even bought a fleshlight for the first time, needing something other than his hand to hump. 

One night, he returned late and heard the sweet noises of your mewls (again, it was starting to feel like a routine). He tried to quietly pass your door, but stopped short. three voices?

He almost couldn't believe it, but after cracking your door open, there you were. You were jerking Satoru off, his white hair sticking to his damp forehead, while this guy with long black hair was pounding into you. One of his hands wrapped around your throat while the other played with your clit, your body jerking at the intensity of stimulation. Satoru played with your swollen nipples, pinching and leaning down to suck them. 

Sukuna can’t help but pull his phone out and record it, going back to his room and rutting into his fleshlight until his cock is raw. the video on a constant loop because he was so fucking addicted. You looked so good. so pretty, and pliant under them. He wanted, no, needed to have you.

You lay in bed, absolutely exhausted after Suguru and Satoru left. You still can’t deny the effect Sukuna has on you, but since you’ve started having hookups, you haven’t even tried to listen to what Ryo does (not that you could’ve or noticed, clearly. he’s been on a dry spell). While you sleep peacefully, snuggled into your warm comforter, Sukuna lies awake, extremely frustrated.

he’s sooo down bad://