#pirate plunder panic

[noeggets]

Hear me out. they're such a good duo she fancys him much, yes

[tytarax]

I see you open Requests. So i shall ask.

No romance. But comedy. How will Alastor act when he meets gn reader who is pirate ex-overlord. Im talking pirate slang and everything. They are the captain of their ship. Having a funny crew and everything.

Thanks for this request, I really enjoyed writing it!

Also gave me a reason for reading the book my brother gifted me last year, "A General History of the Pyrates" (Recommended btw)

I wrote a "short" one-shot with some hcs at the end.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Context: You are an ex-overlord, the pirate demon to be exact. You tend to sail through hell with your trusty crew on their ship, Sapphire, a ghost ship like the Flying Dutchman. When you were an overlord that was your way of announcing yourself, ready to conquer a new territory of the pentagram. Now, you only cause panic, and all the demons flee before your presence, even though you no longer cause wars or collect more souls.

-Some years before the Hazbin Hotel opened-

The salty breeze whistled through the ethereal sails of the Sapphire, the flying ghost ship that sailed the skies with an otherworldly grace. Its crew, a spirited bunch of specters and souls, worked together under the command of their captain, a lively and charismatic demon named Captain _____, with a sense of camaraderie and mischief that echoed through the ages.

As night fell, the crew gathered on the deck, surrounded by the glow of ghostly lanterns. They raised their spectral tankards in a toast to their latest adventure, the echoes of laughter mingling with the creaking of the ship.

"Arr, me hearties!" The captain exclaimed, their voice carrying over the sound of the wind. "Another successful raid, thanks to this fine crew o' mine!"

The crew cheered, their voices filled with the thrill of the chase and the promise of plunder. They gathered around a makeshift table, laden with ghostly grog and ethereal food, and began to swap tales of past escapades.

"Do ye remember the time we outsmarted ol' Davy Jones himself?" one crewmate exclaimed, raising a tankard.

"Aye, that we did!" another replied, clapping the speaker on the back. "And what about the time we stole the moon's reflection from the sea?"

The crew erupted into laughter, the memories of their adventures bonding them together like family. They drank and sang, the joy of the moment banishing the shadows of their past lives.

Captain _____ joined in the revelry, their laughter ringing out like a bell. They regaled their crew with stories of their own, of battles won and treasures found, each tale more fantastical than the last.

As the night wore on, the crew's voices grew hoarse from laughter and song. They staggered to their hammocks, spirits high and hearts full, grateful for another day of freedom on the high skies.

Suddenly, a mysterious figure appeared on the deck of the Sapphire—Alastor, the infamous Radio Demon. Despite the supernatural nature of the ship and its crew, Alastor seemed right at home, his charismatic presence filling the air with a crackling energy.

The captain greeted him with a knowing smile. "Well, well, well, look who's decided to join us on our little jaunt through the skies. What brings ye to our humble haunt, Alastor?"

Alastor chuckled, his radio-like voice blending with the wind. "I couldn't resist the allure of the legendary Sapphire and its crew of spectral scallywags, along with their powerful overlord captain. I must say, you're quite the spectacle. I was just passing by, dear."

“Oh, 'kay then, make yerself comfortable.”

The crew, intrigued by their guest, gathered around as Alastor regaled them with tales of his exploits from the land of the living and the dead. They shared ghostly grog and spectral snacks, swapping stories long into the night.

As the moon rose high in the sky, casting an eerie glow over the clouds, Alastor bid the crew farewell, disappearing into the night with a promise to return. The crew watched him go, their ghostly forms shimmering in the moonlight, filled with a newfound appreciation for the enigmatic Radio Demon.

And so, the Sapphire continued its journey through the skies.

---

Years had passed since the Sapphire last touched down on solid ground, but the flying ghost ship remained as majestic and mysterious as ever. _____ guided their crew through the skies, seeking adventure wherever the wind carried them.

One day, the Sapphire descended upon the grounds of the infamous Hazbin Hotel, its ghostly form shimmering in the light of the setting sun. The crew, eager for a change of scenery, followed their captain as they disembarked, their laughter and banter filling the air.

As they entered the hotel, the crew's antics drew curious glances from the residents.

“Oh, hello there! You must be the pirate demon! I’m Charlie-”

“Oh, yer Charlie Morningstar, aren’t ya? Nice to meet you, lady.” _____ said. Right before, an angelic spear was pointing to their head. While all the crew prepared their weapons, _____ stopped them.

“What do you want?” Said the young girl who was holding the spear.

“Don’t worry yerself, lily-livered landlubber! We’re just passing through, seeking for a place to rest for a while” _____ said as the crew laughed at the nickname. One of the crew guys, Mackra, yelled from his spot “That’s right, we're not going to fight ye, woman!”

“How can we trust you?” She answered back. “Hahaha, dead men tell no tales, lady! I’m not longa an overlord!”

Alastor watched from the shadows, initially taken aback when encountering _____, the pirate ex-overlord along with their spirited crew. He approached _____, a sly grin on his face, but maintained his aloof and mysterious demeanor.

"Ah, the captain of the Sapphire graces us with their presence," Alastor said, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. "What brings you to the Hazbin Hotel, I wonder? Seeking redemption, or just passing through?"

______ smiled, shaking their head. "No redemption for me, I'm afraid. Just a brief respite from the skies. Besides, I hear your hotel is quite the... lively place."

Alastor chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Indeed, it is. Well, enjoy your stay, dear. And should you ever tire of the skies, you're always welcome here."

As _____ settled into the Hazbin Hotel alongside their crew, they couldn't help but feel grateful for the adventures of their past and the enduring camaraderie of their spectral companions. And though the skies still called to them, for now, they were content to rest and revel in the company of their new comrades.

Some hcs:

Alastor may make a few sly comments or observations in his characteristic style, but he doesn't fully engage with pirate slang. “Avast ye!”, “Landlubber”, “Hornswaggle”, that sorta thing.

Despite being an ex-overlord, you have a rather peculiar and humorous crew. Alastor greatly enjoys the chaotic and extravagant interactions of the crew. He may offer a few dry remarks or sarcastic quips about the crew's behavior.

Alastor respects your leadership abilities but doesn't attempt to mimic them. Instead, he observes how you handle your crew and situations, perhaps offering subtle advice or commentary when asked.

You have sometimes invited Alastor to take rides on your ship, which he gladly accepts.

The adventures you and Alastor embark on are more subdued and focused, with Alastor using his skills and knowledge to help navigate challenges more seriously, albeit with a hint of dark humor.

While Alastor maintains a mere professional relationship with the reader, he may develop a begrudging respect for your abilities since he has more respect for the overlords or ex-overlords older than him and occasionally shows a more lighthearted side.

Overall, Alastor retains his mysterious and enigmatic nature while still allowing for moments of humor and camaraderie with you.

Masterpost

Hazbin Hotel Masterlist

@22carolina08

[the-perverse-library]

Smut prompt (One piece): Nami and Robin are captured by a futa pirate women that has the Devil Fruit power to transform any women she fucks into a busty, curvy and cock/pussy hungry werewolf. To demonstrate this power, she chooses to fuck Robin right in front of Nami.

Nami slowly awoke naked and bound in ropes. The orangette lurched into panic as she tried to pull herself free, only to flop onto the softest bed she had ever laid on. From the lavish decor and the lion's share of treasure, I think I'm... in a Captain's Quarters, Nami thought as she pulled herself back up into a seated position. Her memories were foggy but she knew that she and Nico Robin had snuck onto a rival pirate's ship while they were docked at an island to steal information, food and treasure... and considering her current predicament, it meant they had gotten caught. "... Robin... Robin where are you?" Nami called out, hoping that the scholastic raven-haired former assasin was somewhere in the large bed chamber she was in.

She received her answer when the door to the Captain's quarters was kicked open, revealing a very naked Nico Robin in the arms of a dark-haired futa wearing a black corset, a stolen coat and a pair of leather leggings that hid nothing from the imagination; all while wearing a smug grin on her lips. Nami saw that Nic Robin was wrapped up in rope; it coiled around her breasts, her arms were bound with her hands touching her shoulders, and her legs firmly locked into a kneeling position, and resting against her forehead was a tiny sliver of Seastone.

"I see you thought you could just slip onto my ship, rob me blind, and vanish into the night?" The pirate sneered as she ogled the bikini-clad navigator. "But, no one gets on my ship without me knowing, and now," She growled as her body grew, causing her curves to thicken and her muscles to swell. Nami couldn't look away from the obscene cockbulge as the pirate captain grew and grew until her very clothes tore and exploded off of her, revealing a fat-tittied, slobbering, throbbing, pre-dribbling werewolf. "So, I think it's fair that I get to plunder all of your booty myself!" The Amazonian werewolf cackled as she heaved Nico Robin into the air and slammed the scholar down onto her cock; turning the Straw Hat's historian into her personal fleshlight.

"Robin!!! Resist her!" Nami weakly shouted as she watched the enemy pirate move harder and faster, causing every inch of Robin's body to jiggle and quake. Soon all the navigator could hear was the wet squelch of the enemy's cock deep in her friend while Nico squealed and screamed silly as she came all over herself again and again. Nami watched as the pirate erupted deep into Robin, stuffing her belly so much that it swelled until she looked three months pregnant. Which only gave Nami a front row seat as the pirate removed the Seastone from Nico Robin's forehead.

"Oh, I forgot to say I have the Monster Monster Devil Fruit." The smug and haughty futa said with sublime confidence. "I can charge a part of my body with energy, and if that part stays in contact with my target for a minute, I can transform it into a perfect monster." Nami was shocked at her words and looked down and saw Robin swell in size and quickly became coated in a thick coat of siver fur. But what she couldn't look away from was Robin's trembling, swollen, and fat cock as it looked up at her, drooling precum. Nami blinked and found herself sandwiched between her transformed friend and an enemy sailor.

"You can fuck my holes, but you'll never get my loyalty." Nami hissed out to the futa captain as she was sandwiched in between two of the fattest, thickest, and longest cocks she's ever sucked from him. "Luffy will save us!"

"Well, until then, I have been wondering what your pussy feels like and really get paid in pleasure for every Beri you tried to take." The pirate teased as she pressed her cock against Nami's wet folds while Robin knocked on her backdoor to stretch out her pussy and stuff her hole with cum. All Nami could think of was just what she'd look like as a brain-dead bimbo werewolf. The power of the Monster Monster Devil Fruiit allowed for the transference of energy and let the pirates control, manipulate and determine when and where their victims had everything they had to snub their nose in this lawsuit.

Once she felt their cock slide in her, all of Nami's thoughts of fighting back or escaping just... melted down into nothingness.

[randomgooberness]

OKAY, WE FINALLY HAVE A PIRATE EPISODE! HERE YOU LITTLE MONSTERS GO!!! <3

Mind is written by @shineyfish

WARNINGS: violence(obviously), drug mentions, smoking, and unintentional self-harm.

They traveled through the doorway, leading them down to the rest of the railway system, which was water-logged. Aside from the few bursts of unconducted energy, the rest of the track didn't seem to be electrified. Gordon mentioned Benrey being a 'powerful asset' to the team, something that Mind was vocally against, but... He did have to admit that the thing was powerful.

They raced through the labyrinth of abandoned trackways - Literally, and Tommy won - before making their way up a ladder and to another hallway, higher up and filled to the brim with soldiers.

To which, hilariously, Mind's reaction was to start talking like a pirate.

"IF IT'S A FAIR FIGHT YER LOOKIN' FOR, THEN YE'VE COME TO THE WRONG MAN!"

Gordon, bewildered out of his skull, started cackling. 

”YEAH!?” He screamed. “GET THE- GET THE- FUCK YEAH CAPTAIN MIND GET THEM! THEY DON'T HAVE ANY SKILLS GET THEIR ASSES!” 

The encouragement only seemed to make Mind laugh with him, nailing the unlucky soldiers in the hallway.

"THE BATTLE BE A' RAGIN, TIS THE PERFECT TIME TA PLUNDER!"

He dipped into one of the side rooms, opening the boxes on the shelves in search of ammo, or anything valuable. He wasn't picky.

"It appears yer treasure be naught but a ruse, these boxes be empty!"

Gordon wheezed. 

“BULLSHIT. WHERE'S OUR TREASURE.” He cackled. “CAPTAIN MIND, WHAT DO WE DO!?!” 

“Loot the bodies,” Benrey said, making Gordon choke laughing. 

“GET THEIR GUNS!”

"PLUNDER THE LOT A' THEM! SEIZE THE ARTILL'RY!"

Mind cackled, spinning his gun in his hand before shooting a bootboy. That was just showing off.

"YE CALL YERSELVES MARINES, BUT MARINERS I DINNAE SEE NONE! YER A BUNCH A' COWARDS AN' DEADWEIGHT!"

Gordon wheezed again. 

“MAKE THEM FUCKIN- what is it- MAKE THEM WALK THE PLANK!!!” He laughed, following behind him. “Dude you need like, a cool eyepatch or something.”

"AYE, A' DO!"

Mind smiled back at Gordon, looking Genuinely happy.

"Although, a' dinnae want a hook fer a hand. That can be yer thing!" 

The power absolutely going to his head, he pointed ahead with his gun.

"COMPANY, LETS SHOW THESE LANDLUBBERS TA FEAR TH' WAVES!"

“HOW AM I GONNA SHOOT WITH A HOOK HAND- wait actually hold on I got it-“ 

He took out his crowbar, grinning as he held it tight, and raced into battle alongside Mind. 

“YAAAAARG!”

"YAAHAHAHAHAAAARRGG!"

Making good on his word, Mind looted almost every soldier's body that they came across, taking no prisoners.

"Tis but a shame, we be without our mechanical longboat! Would have made this voyage easier. Alas, tis no issue!"

"OUR WH- oh a train? YEAH. OUR UH. SHIP- I'm not good at this- let's- OH SHIT- YARG!" Gordon straight up brained a soldier he found in a room, and walked inside, spotting a security officer. "OH, THERE'S A GUY IN HERE!"

Mind snorted at Gordon not understanding the pirate talk, punching him in the shoulder about it before turning to the guard. 

"AHOY THERE SQUIRE, WHAT SAY YE TA JOINING OUR CREW? I'LL GIVE YE A CUT A' ANY LOOT WE TAKE!"

The guard didn't react to the pirate voice, staring ahead at the two.

"Okay, why not.”

“Y-”

“Didn't want to die alone anyway."

Mind threw his hands in the air.

"YAAAAR! THAT BE THE SPIRIT! LET US CHARGE FORTH AND PAINT THE WALLS RED WITH BLOOD!"

Gordon started laughing so hard that he went into a coughing fit. 

"LH- HHHVKKHCKLLETSSSGOOO! LETSSSGO!!!!!" He cried, stumbling to follow Mind out. 

"C-Captain Mind!! There's- there are more soldiers on the port bow!" Tommy shouted, pointing at more soldiers approaching. 

Captain Mind yelled as he rushed the soldiers, firing at them as he did. When he got close enough he ran out of bullets, and in a slight panic used the butt of the gun to knock one of them out.

He didn't expect everyone to go along with the pirate bit if he was being honest! He had to admit though he was a fan of the captain role. He should be the leader of these guys.

Gordon shot the knocked-out soldier right between the eyes. Meanwhile, the guard didn't take cover as he shot at soldiers in the distance. 

As the bullets flew past, Mind fired back, yelling at the guard.

"GET DOWN, LAD, TAKE COVER!"

The guard did not get down or take cover and rag-dolled on the floor shortly after, the bullet hitting them in the shoulder.

Mind watched it happen with wide eyes.

"WELL WHAT USE ARE YE TAE US NOW?"

Gordon broke into cackling. It was a little stressed, but to be fair- that was extremely funny. 

”WHY DID HE DO THAT!? WHY DID- ok lets- let's keep going- we shoul- actually, any idea, Captain??”

Mind paused for a second, smiling as he assesed the area, before pointing towards one of the rooms with his gun.

"Avast, an unchecked room. Could harbour mariners, brace yerself lad!"

His throat was starting to kill him a bit. He usually didn't commit to the pirate thing for this long, but he was having a great time and nobody could stop him.

"Gotcha- ready- or uh- aye-aye? Is that- READY!" Gordon cocked his gun and gave Mind a dumb smile.

"Lets unload hot piratey death!" Bubby cheered.

His crew was full of idiots. Laughing, Mind charged on ahead.

"THEM WHO DIE BE THE LUCKY ONES, AND THAR BE PLENTY O' LUCK GOIN ROUND TODAY!"

Inside the room was three soldiers, two of which were mowed down immediately, and the last one sat in one of the chairs, seemingly unaffected by the gunfire.

"ARISE, YE LANDLUBBING SCURR, AN' FACE YER DEATH LIKE A MAN!"

Mind had his gun raised to him, but the soldier did not rise, face scrunching up at the group.

"No, I don't feel like it."

"GET UP-! GET UP, ASSHOLE!" Gordon screamed at him, running and kicking the chair over.

Miraculously, the soldier managed to stay in the chair, unfazed. Mind shot nearby the soldier's head, an incredulous laugh escaping him. Wwwhatthefuck.

"STOPPP."

Gordon started laughing so hard he turned around and left the room, before walking back in. 

"Get up!" He barked again, taking out his SMG. "GET UP, ASSHOLE!"

"Leave me aloooone!"

Mind was starting to lose it, what was with this guy?? 

"IGNORANCE CANNAE SAVE YE NOW, MATEY, DO AS HE SAYS!"

Confusion may have been apparent, but the pirate voice was unwavering.

A stray shot to the chair broke it completely, and the soldier was forced to stand, taking out his gun, but still acting as if the threat was just a minor inconvenience.

"You wanna stop- you wanna stop please?"

"WHAT- what are our chairs made out of!?" Gordon choked. "GUN ON THE GROUND, BUDDY. SET IT DOWN, NOW. I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING SKULL OUT, DON'T TEST ME-"

"God, you're so annoying."

Eyes shifting to the door for a split second, the soldier dashed out, pushing past Mind and Gordon as he did so.

"HEY, WHERE D'YE THINK YER GOIN?"

Without considering the possibility of a trap, which was strange for him, Mind ran after him.

"Come the FUCK on are you kidding me!" Gordon shouted at no one in particular, moreso the situation as he raced after them both- shooting rapidly. 

Once the soldier darted out of sight, Gordon sighed, holding a hand up. 

"STOP! Stop- we lost him." He looked to another dead soldier on the ground, noticing a lit cigar in his mouth.

Mind leaned over the railing, trying to spot where the guy went.

"Alas, he's slipperier than a fish out o' water."

He coughed, cringing slightly. 

Turning to face the rest of the team, he gave them a smile.

"No a venture that we cannae take on! We'll find th' landlubbin' scurr if 's the last thing we do."

Gordon laughed a bit. 

“Is the voice starting to hurt??”

"No."

Yes, but he wasn't going to be defeated that easily.

"Just a tad scratchy on the ol' throat."

“Alright,” Gordon rolled his eyes a little, chuckling, before bending over and picking up the cigar from the dead body. “Wait, hold on,” 

He contemplated it for a moment, standing up, before taking a drag from it. 

“Thats disgusting.” Bubby said.

Mind looked at him for a second.

Gross. You don't know where that's been. Sir. 

It felt weird to see the man smoke, he just... Didn't seem like the type. Sure, Mind himself didn't smoke often, but he's been around enough smokers.

"... D'ye usually smoke? Ye didnae have th face fer it."

Gordon took in a really, really long drag. 

“Y’gotta look good when you’re killing-“ He choked, before breaking into a massive coughing fit. 

Mind snorted. Idiot.

"Ah, I ken now. Yer a professional. Best smoker in th' world."

“Smoking is a terrible habit!” Bubby snapped. Gordon paused, blinking, and dropped the cigar on the ground, stomping at it and pointing at Dr. Coomer with extreme fury. 

”THIS ONE DRANK PISS!”

"That disnae give ye cancer."

Not helping.

“Not helping.” Gordon sighed. “Lets keep going. C’mon, captain.”

With another cough, Mind walked ahead of the group.

"Fuck-, Thar be another passage way, anchors away crew!"

The cough made Gordon cackle. 

“Bro! Stop doing it if it hurts! If you lose your voice I’m making fun of you.” He wheezed, following.

Mind went to argue, keeping to the wall as shots fired at them, before coughing violently, behind cover.

"hhghbbbb. Thaaat's enough of that. I have about 20 more years of whiskey drinking before my voice sounds like that naturally."

He covered his mouth for a second, catching his breath.

"Do we still have problems?"

He looked out from the cover and gunfire shot past him immediately.

"We still have problems."

Gordon laughed, finding immense joy in Minds antics. 

“Uh, well, we could send Benrey out, maybe- I haven’t seen him, though.”

Mind didn't look at him, but he did pause.

"... Knowing our luck, he'd either join them or just stand there like an idiot."

He made a small noise of consideration.

"This sounds like a job for Ambassador Pineapple!" He took out a grenade, "You'll be representing us on the floor, now go out there and work your magic!"

After throwing it at the problem, there was a couple seconds more of gunfire, an explosion, then silence. The entire time, Mind was twirling the pin in his hand.

"... And it sounds like we've come to a resolution!"

He ducked out of the cover.

"Testing, one two, testing... Well, I'm glad everything worked out."

“Ambassador Pineapple??” Gordon wheezed, following him out from under cover. 

“G’oh, I miss him every day!” Dr. Coomer nodded. Bubby followed as well. 

“I agree with everything he said.” 

“I-It’s always good to have peaceful conver- conversations!” Tommy added, pointing his gun thoughtlessly.

Mind nodded.

"Ambassador Pineapple."

He did not explain further, exploring over the room.

"Everyone that matters is here and accounted for, so let's move on. This room wasn't heavily guarded for no reason, I refuse to..."

Ahead on the wall was a spray painted sign that read "Surrender Freemen". Normally, Mind would just pass it off as the education of the military, but...

Freemen.

Free men.

They knew.

He swallowed, staring at it.

Gordon was walking by it, completely unaware, until he noticed Mind staring. 

“Whatcha lookin’ at, bud?” He asked brightly, walking over, before pausing as his eyes scanned the words over. “…ah.” 

“…What the fuck? You cant graffiti, that’s against the law,” Bubby, who was graffiting an hour earlier, said. “They even spelled it wrong! Blasted military education.” 

“Haha, yeah.” Gordon chuckled a little, though his expression wore the feeling of swallowing fire and being doused in ice. “Yeah they’re…stupid.”

Mind blinked a couple times, analysing Gordon's demeanor change.

... The fuck is that about?

He knew. He had to know, there was "no way he doesn't, I mean," the thing said free men. He needed to know that "means both of us." 

He wrung out his hands, glancing between the sign and Gordon.

"No... No, he doesn't." They'd been through this, if Gordon knew, then he was "damn good at hiding it. Nobody can hide shit that well" without dropping too many clues.

I can trust him. "I have to."

He picked at his face, staring back at the sign.

His thoughts felt... Overlapping, repeating over themselves and crashing against his skull like waves. A slurry of He Knows, They Know, They All Know, it was difficult to hear much else.

He took a shaky breath.

"The morphine must be wearing off."

"...I don't think you should get another dose until tomorrow, man." Gordon muttered. "Are...you okay? It...is there something I don't...know? About this?"

He took a second, looking at the grafitti again, and then back to Mind, tilting his head, eyes full of the same emotion as before, and now worry. 

"...You're talking to yourself again."

"I... Am I?"

Fuck.

He picked at the scars on his face, glancing away. 

"No, it's... It's fine, man."

He couldn't look at Gordon. 

He didn’t know. He didn’t know. He didn’t know. It was just "my brain being a dick to me," which was why he needed the fucking morphine.

God he hated this. He needed to "get this talking to myself shit under control, fast."

Taking out his gun, counted over the ammo, trying to focus on anything else.

"Let's... Go, let's go."

"Alright." Gordon huffed, following him. "...N'don't pick at your face, man. Our gloves are probably filthy." 

[greenyvertekins]

Ah yes, it's everything I hate about Archie Blaze in one picture:

• Archie's generally not-that-great art.

• Blaze's eyes being the completely wrong shape in like, every issue.

• She has a rack??? For some reason???

• Getting captured or getting her ass kicked at least once in all of her stories (and getting both knocked the fuck out and subsequently captured TWICE in Pirate Plunder Panic, my beloathed).

About the only thing not here is her Burning form, which still has highlights in its hair when it shouldn't. I hate all of this.

So many fails in one demotivational.

[quiet-compassion]

OFMD Fluffvember Day 11: Treasure

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51679648

“You hate it, don’t you?”

Stede startles, face shifting from vague befuddlement to wide-eyed panic.

“Of course I don’t!” he asserts indignantly. His eyes flicker back down to the paper in his lap. “But, uh, what is it, exactly?”

Ed sighs. Fucking figures. He’s been working on this gift for Stede for two weeks, staying up late after Stede fell asleep and bringing supplies out with him on the dinghy while fishing to maintain the secret and surprise. And even after all of that, it’s still not right.

“It’s a map,” he explains, voice resigned. 

Stede rolls his eyes on instinct. “Yes, I can see that.” His tone is extremely bitchy in a way that makes Ed feel incredibly fond even in the midst of this moment of embarrassment. Stede takes a moment to breathe, schooling his expression into something softer, more polite, before continuing on. “I meant, what is it a map of, dear?”

Ed hesitates. This already feels like a bit of a disaster and the idea of digging himself even further into this hole, of seeing this gift idea through, is not pleasant. The thing is Stede is just so good at gifts. He’s always been overwhelmingly generous with Ed, sharing his fine things, giving Ed finery of his own. Even now, with considerably less wealth at his disposal, he’s always giving Ed thoughtful stuff. He saves Ed the last bit of pineapple. He fashions Ed a new fishing rod, taking the time to carve his name into the handle. He writes Ed letters full of love. It comes easily to Stede in a way it doesn’t to him.

And look, it’s not that he doesn’t want to give Stede things. It’s that the gift ideas he comes up with never feel worthy of Stede. You don’t become history’s greatest pirate without getting your hands on a lot of loot. He’s stolen precious jewels, plundered fine heirlooms, amassed a plethora of riches. Stede is by far the finest most precious thing he’s ever beheld. What present could possibly live up to that? But every time Stede gives him something, he feels warmed from the inside. And he wants to make Stede feel like that.

So, pride be damned, he’s giving Stede this gift.

“It’s a map of the island,” he says in answer to Stede’s question. “Well, a map of what we’ve explored so far. The positioning and the landmarks should be right but the scale’s a bit wonky I reckon, since I did it from memory.”

Stede’s mouth falls open into a little ‘o’. “You drew me a map of our home?”

“Yeah, but not because I think you’re gonna get lost or anything!” Ed rushes to assure him. “Just—fuck! Okay, you see this spot up here?” He leans over the map still clasped in Stede’s hands, pointing to a corner he’s marked with an ‘x’.

Stede nods, bringing his finger up to the spot in question and tracing over it.

“Well, you gotta use the map to get there, to find it.”

There’s a beat of silence

“You drew me a map and planned me a treasure hunt?”

Ed nods, rocking back on his heels, hand shoved into his pockets. He’s trying to project nonchalance despite the roaring insecurity threatening to consume him. “Yeah, not like it’s a big deal. Just an idea I had—”

“Ed,” Stede interrupts. “You drew me a map and planned me a treasure hunt!” He sounds giddy, astonished. Ed chances a glance at him.

“Well…”

“Edward, this is amazing! We get to go on another adventure together! You must have spent a while on this,” he pours over the map again with more enthusiasm. “There’s a good bit of detail here!”

Caught off guard, Ed asks, “So…you like it?”

Stede beams at him. “Ed, I love it! It’s a lovely surprise! But I thought you said pirates don’t bury treasure.”

Ed smiles bashfully. “Yeah, they don’t. But we’re not really pirates anymore, are we?”

Stede’s practically vibrating with excitement now. “What’s the occasion? What brought this on?” he asks.

“No occasion, really. Just, you do thoughtful shit for me all the time. And I wanted to show you that I was thinking of you too. Am thinking of you. Like, all the time.”

The smile he receives from Stede then is a gift in its own right. Instantly, the uncertainty and reticence he’d been feeling melt away, replaced by a cozy calmness. He blames the warmth in his chest for the sappy line he says next.

“Besides, you’re my greatest treasure, so this seemed fitting.”

It’s cheesy as hell but Stede seems touched, if a little disappointed. 

“Ah, so that’s the treasure, is it? Symbolic? Time spent together on an adventure?” His voice is deceivingly light.

Ed laughs. “Um, no. Fuck that. There’s trinkets buried up there,” he assures, envisioning the sea glass necklaces he had painstakingly made to bury alongside a jar of marmalade and some cool-looking shells. “What, you think I’d drag us all that way only to not dig something up?”

“Oh thank god,” Stede exhaled. “That would have been such a bummer!”

Ed leans against the wall, watching with fond admiration as Stede darts excitedly around their cabin grabbing supplies and pondering an outfit change. Perhaps he’s not as bad at gifting as he thought.

[yourluckieday]

So like the One Piece live action has me I such a state of bi-panic. Cause Nami is fine as shit, then Zoro shows up and I’m like “oh no I’m a pirate, better hunt me down” and then SANJI shows up and I’m like he can crème my brûlée. And don’t get me started on Luffy, he’s got an expressive mouth and a cute smile. I wanna Dom Koby, and fucking Shanks, one armed, no armed Im on my fucking knees. Whoever cast this show, I hope your pillow is always cool, may you never have to wait for your Starbucks.

Edit: @sweetvixen1996 brought this error to my attention. Mihawk… fucking Mihawk. The way I suddenly identify as treasure and I need him to plunder me. BRB gotta clean up this puddle of drool.

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Space Pirates Foxy and Lunar AU

Eclipse only looked into Foxy’s future, because Monty was paranoid about that. He didn’t look into any other futures. So he didn’t panic about Lunar and get himself killed.

So, Amalgam busted Foxy out, and Foxy promosed him a pirate adventure instead of heading back, in exchange for not getting the shit beaten out of him. So he’s still in the nice fixed up suit with the tail.

They happened to intercept Puppet and Lunar. Lunar jumped at the space pirate adventure idea, especially with his new space fascination. Puppet protests at first, but Lunar brushes him off. He doesn’t want to be Puppet’s secret weapon against Eclipse, he wants to explore space! Plus, he’s still in the numb phase and doesn’t really care about much.

After a few weeks, they find a Mimic pretending to be Captain Foxy. He was hiding on board the whole time. He tries to chart a course back to Earth, but gets shot down and found out immediately. They find the real Captain Foxy naked, tied up in his cabin.

Forkface just kinda shows up one day. It goes where it wants. They get used to it.

Amalgam and Mimic find themselves enjoying the space pirate life. For Amalgam, it’s like a bug game where he can murder and plunder as much as he likes. For Mimic, he can cause all the chaos he wants doing this.

Eclipse occasionally pops in to be a dick, but he always teleports out the moment Lunar opens his mouth. He’s just… not ready for that conversation.

MGaFS becomes the Earth and Monty Show, because Foxy’s running around space and can’t coordinate very well (timezones and such). Foxy and Lunar do have their own show, since they’re actually in the same place.

The crew occasionally call the Plex, to update Monty and the DCAs on their lives beyond the channel. And to bond. Occasionally they manage to coordinate multiplayer games together.

Yay :D less trauma

[un-pearable]

Best Sonic Universe Arc Tournament

Round 1: Scrambled (#37-40) vs. Eggman's Dozen (#83-86) | The Silver Saga (#25-28) vs. The Silver Age (#79-82) | Treasure Team Tango (#21-24) vs. Pirate Plunder Panic (#55-58) | Knuckles: The Return (#9-12) vs. The Great Chaos Caper (#63-66) | Mobius 30 Years Later (#5-8) vs. Babylon Rising (#33-36) | Case of the Pirate Princess (#91-94) vs. Chaotix Quest (#46-49) | Forged in Fire (#50) vs. Fury (#75) | Journey to the East (#13-16) vs. Race for the Stars (#45)

wiki in case you need to refresh :]

[scruffyplayssonic]

Are the ArchieSonic comics actually an 80's/90's syndicated cartoon? Episode 59: Stranded in the ocean 

Welcome back to my look at the ArchieSonic comic series, and how it shared a lot of the same story tropes as a typical ‘80s or ‘90s syndicated cartoon! So you guys know how Sonic hates water, right? Because of that whole not-being able to swim issue? Well why don’t we look at an episode based around the stuff of Sonic’s worst nightmares?

Episode 59: Stranded in the ocean 

Okay, so to be honest this one doesn’t really count. The cover for issue #109 very much oversells the drama of the actual story, which is about the Freedom Fighters travelling to the frozen north sea in Rotor’s submarine to free his family from Eggman’s mind control. Eggman wasn’t too pleased that his enemies were meddling in his affairs again, and sent out a giant robotic electric eel to attack them.

The Freedom Fighters escaped though, and just continued on with the mission. There was no dwelling about losing their ride or being stranded or anything like that. That’s probably because this story is from (in my opinion) one of the two worst periods of the comic, at a time where it felt like they were trying to cram the comic with quantity rather than quality. The cover stories usually felt like they were being rushed to make room for all the other stuff they were jamming into the issue. So what else did they put in this issue? Well, there was a short story where Mina and Sally talked about Sonic, and Sally finally found out that Sonic hadn’t been a willing participant in the smooching session Sally had witnessed between him and Mina back in issue #99.

Honestly, this was probably the best part of this issue, especially since it was the beginning of the resolution of the stupid love triangle. There was also the ongoing drama of Ken Penders’ green Knuckles saga, because heaven forbid we have an issue without his echidnas.

No, I still refuse to explain why he is green. I don’t want to talk about it.

There was also a crossword puzzle, because that’s what people want to see in a comic book about Sonic, right? Oh, and don’t forget the answers to the Knuckles family tree puzzle from a previous issue.

A family tree that only started making sense when these answers were released, because Ken Penders had to put his precious Knuckles at the top of the tree. The descendants are supposed to be at the bottom of a family tree, you loon. 😛 So yeah, I think this era of the comic would have been a lot better if they'd tried to cram less in there and focused more on quality stories rather than jamming in as much crap as they could.

But let’s get back to the actual topic, about being stranded in the ocean. Another story that comes to mind is one I looked at last week, Waves of Change.

Technically the Freedom Fighters weren’t stranded in the ocean and could have left any time they liked, but I doubt Sonic felt that way.

The one instance I can think of where anyone was actually stranded in the ocean was a story that didn’t involve Sonic. It was Pirate Plunder Panic, which ran in Sonic Universe issues #55 - 58. Amy and Cream were sent to Blaze’s world, and teamed up with her and Marine to fight the evil Captain Metal for ownership of the last Sol Emerald.

Blaze tried to infiltrate Captain Metal’s ship and take him out single handedly, but hit a snag when Captain Metal blew up her ship, with her friends still on it.

Amy, Cream and Marine managed to escape the explosion by hiding in a crate, but were left adrift and taking on water. Things looked pretty bad for our heroines, but fortunately a pod of dolphins came along to rescue them.

I know this is a slightly shorter episode than I usually do, but those are honestly the only instances I can think of that involve Sonic and friends being stranded in the ocean. …in ArchieSonic, at least. Remember that time Sonic got stuck on a cruise ship in Sonic X though?

Hahaha, it’s funny because he’s scared of water.

Are there any other instances of being stranded in the ocean in ArchieSonic that I missed? Let me know in the comments! Next week we’ll be going from being stranded in the ocean to its opposite: stranded in the desert! See you then!

[clover-midori]

SHATTERED IN SECONDS

"It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you've made, and there's this panic because you don't know yet the scale of disaster you've left yourself open to."

- Kazuo Ishiguro

CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE SELMA CONTINUES TO THREATEN BAJA CALIFORNIA AND CALIFORNIA COASTS WITH HIGH STORM SURGE…

On the surface, this storm didn’t seem like a big threat. You’d just have to stay close to shore, so as to not get swept away.

Easy, wasn’t it?

Well yes, but we’re not talking about the surface.

We’re talking about the OCTOPOD. What else would it have been?

Oh right. There was also outside the Octopod. The sea.

A few hours had passed now. The winds were starting to pick up now, as Selma’s outer bands rolled in.

From the HQ, Kwazii kept watching as day gradually turned to night. To him, it looked fantastic. The darkening of the sea’s colors, while painting everything into dullness, was still majestic in a way.

"Avast, if Dashi wasn’t sleeping this out, she’d get some fantastic shots." The cat smiled at Shellington, whipping out his pathetically old BlackBerry Bold 9900. "But at least I’ve gotten this old thing from who knows where!"

Only recently had the sea otter noticed Kwazii’s liking for 2000s technology like this. The other day, when he walked into the cat’s room, he noticed a PlayStation 2 on his dresser.

It was an interesting quirk. Maybe the term "piracy", as in downloading episodes of Velma from a sketchy website full of steamed hams in your area brought Kwazii back to his pirate days. And from there he discovered how cool the 2000s really were.

He was a little confused, but he got the spirit. So, yay for him.

"Shellington? Kwazii? If I were y’all, I’d get away from the windows. Y’know it’s only gonna get worse." Tweak spoke up from behind them. "There’s gotta be some debris coming from somewhere… Rocks and the like!"

"Nyaw, it’s not like it’s gotten anywhere yet! We’ve got time!" The cat laughed it off. "After all, we just gotta wait!"

The bunny facepalmed. She knew he couldn’t risk it forever. Especially not in the wake of a hurricane. A CATEGORY 5 hurricane.

But, of course, Kwazii couldn’t listen. And neither could Shellington. They were just too… disconnected, if anything.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Barnacles made an announcement.

"Octonauts, I advise that all of you stay inside the main area of the Octopod for the rest of tonight. Remember that we are going through an extremely violent hurricane, and it’s moving fast. Should anything happen, we should stick together."

Kwazii stopped smiling.

Shellington stopped smiling, too.

The true scale of what was yet to come, finally came into full view. And it was not good at all.

"Jumping jellyfish. I almost forgot… again." The sea otter was now wide awake, which was rare to see as he tended to be a sleepyhead. But now here he was, in horrific realization.

And not just that, but he knew Dashi was deep asleep in her room. Yet, he couldn’t speak up. Not yet.

Barnacles didn’t know either.

But Kwazii did.

"Captain, I think we’re missing someone… HEY! Any of ye seen-"

And just when you thought things were shit, they were about to become the diarrhea you got after eating one too many breadsticks from the school cafeteria.

The Octopod slowly rumbled, as Selma’s winds picked up once again. For a few seconds, it calmly get steadily rocked back and fourth. Again and again.

"…jumping jellyfish. I gotta go." Shellington rushed to his lab. Kwazii went down his trail, deep into his refuge.

~~~~

Shellington walked around his lab, and he was starting to panic.

"What do we do? What do we do? What… do we do? The Octopod is shaking, the hurricane is already here, and Dashi isn’t in the main area." He kept talking to himself, before bumping into Kwazii.

"C’mon, now! I clearly helped Captain anchor the Octopod! We can’t be that plundered!" He tried to comfort the sea otter. But it wasn’t any use.

"Kwazii, you and I need to get to the launch bay RIGHT NOW. I might have an idea of why things aren’t going well."

A few minutes later, the two had snuck past Tweak, and were tethered to the Octopod by an old iPhone charging cable. Selma kept throwing the currents around and around, and it was becoming increasingly hard to swim.

Fortunately, Kwazii easily noticed what was wrong with the Octopod.

"Nothing?!"

"Fascinating! There’s no marks at all!"

The two shook their heads. Clearly something was playing with them. A sea creature? Most likely. But that couldn’t be. Not in a hurricane!

"…avast! Your free antivirus, this isn’t right!" The cat and otter swam back inside, in panic. The cause was obvious, but the anchor had been set about 3 hours ago! And during that time, clearly many fish were finding shelter…

The anchor simply came loose. Which it had never done before.

It was a sign.

A sign that their time was almost up.

"Kwazii?! Shellington?! What were you two doin’ out there?!" Tweak immediately noticed them, dripping water. "Y'all could’ve gotten real hurt!"

"That’s for Peso to figure out. Me and Kwazii had to find out why the Octopod was shaking. And there’s no marks on the anchor… Meaning that what’s merely happening is that…" Shellington stopped, and immediately turned to Kwazii. "It’s loose."

He went went empty for a moment. "But Shellington, I didn’t do it! I was just guiding the captain and…"

The otter tightly hugged him, shaking his head. "I never said you did it. You were only trying to help… What I’m saying is… Your captain is at fault."

Tweak gasped. "Oh me, oh my, oh WHAT THE HECK?! So… Cap failed to anchor the Octopod deep enough? You’re tellin’ me he left us for dead?!"

"I mean… I DON’T KNOW!" Shellington screamed. "I might just be losing my mind! What I’m more concerned is… how much time do we have left until the anchor is loose enough to completely free the Octopod from the ground?"

The bunny just looked at the otter, horrified as he was. And the answer? Just as obvious.

"Faster than you can say 'WE'RE FUCKED FOR REAL!' WE HAVE TO GET HIS ATTENTION!" Tweak ran upstairs in a panic, something she had never really done before, until now.

By sheer coincidence, she crashed head-on into Barnacles, and it hurt like hell. But her fears numbed out her pain, as she fell back down the stairs. The captain ran for her, trying to catch.

In the end, it ended up in a two-Octonaut stampede. Two likely injuries. But those didn’t matter, when Tweak knew she was about to die in absolute panic from potential disaster.

She wished she didn’t have to say the same about the others. And while she was disappointed in Barnacles, she was just as sorry for him. To know you were in extreme danger during a hurricane, was to be a nightmare. And that? The bunny understood.

It was his fault, and at the same time, it wasn’t.

"Cap…! I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry… I should’ve been more careful…" Tweak was tearing up. "I just wanted to tell you the bad news… before it’s too late…" she covered her eyes in regret.

"Bad news? Then there’s not a time to waste. Tell me."

Tweak wanted to throw up. The whole thought of this was getting to her HARD. But she had to say something.

"The anchor is loose. It’s not functioning as it should. Cap, you know what this means? You know what this FUCKING MEANS?!" Tweak angrily grabbed the captain by the ears.

"Tweak, let go- Wait… the anchor? Loose? Not functioning as it should? You’re telling me…"

Shellington and Kwazii were gone, and Barnacles only caught sight of Tweak’s leg, as she ran upstairs.

That was the code to make a run for it.

~~~~

Barnacles ran as fast as he could to the HQ, and almost IMMEDIATELY did he SMASH his fist into the Octo-Alert. So hard, that it became louder and higher-pitched than before… and there was no way anyone could ignore.

"OCTONAUTS, TO THE HQ, RIGHT NOW! THIS IS A LIFE-OR-DEATH SITUATION, AND I NEED ALL OF US TO ACT FAST FOR OUR SURVIVAL! WASTE NO TIME OR WE WILL MOST-CERTAINLY DIE."

That was the scariest announcement Barnacles would ever say. And sadder, was that it could be his last.

Almost immediately, Peso ran through the HQ. But he didn’t stop. In fact, he was running for downstairs. He was looking for some certain patients.

"Flappity flippers! They can’t be gone like that! They have to be somewhere!" He was the most anxious he’d have been since 2010, and had his headphones on full volume. He couldn’t hear his own screams either, because all he could hear was Jvne’s hardest album ever. Its title, he screamed to himself.

"STARVING SLVTS… ALWAYS GET THEIR FIX!"

Sorry, what’s that?

Vicki? What about… Oh.

What, have we forgotten Inkling?

"No… I haven’t…" he sighed, looking at Tunip. The Vegimals had all rushed for his library, looking for Shellington as usual. "I would advise you stay with me… Oh, my, The Octo-Alarm is going off and I don’t like the sound of it…!"

He rolled up in his chair, confused about the sound. It never sounded this urgent, but now? It was nightmare fuel.

~~~~

Shellington had never cried so hard before, and now he kept raging in his laboratory, and all that Kwazii could do was watch.

"LOOK AT THIS! I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING! SOMETHING TO SAVE US ALL! AND YET? I DIDN’T, KWAZII! I DIDN’T!!!" He kept shouting, clutching his face in front of the cat.

"I FAILED YOU! I… FAILED YOU!"

Kwazii was trying to get him to stop crying, but it wasn’t any use. The only thing in life Kwazii feared was spiders, and now Shellington bawling his eyes out.

Not that he hatefully feared it. If anything, it was something he wished to never witness. The otter he spent so much time with. Inches away from heart failure, if anything.

"Nyaw… Who am I to leave him here?… I have to go to the HQ… But Shellington is screaming, and crying… Avast, I can’t go up there. I have to do something!"

The ex-pirate looked at the scientific otter, and knew that, with all that was happening, comfort him.

But this was impossible. With Barnacles’ making these announcements over the Octo-Alarm, his warm hugs were nothing.

"JUST MINUTES AGO, I WAS MADE AWARE OF GRIM NEWS. THE ANCHOR HAS FAILED TO CHAIN THE OCTOPOD, AND IS YET TO COME OFF AT ANY MOMENT. THE OCTOPOD IS STARTING TO SHAKE VIOLENTLY, AND HAS A VERY HIGH CHANCE TO CRASH WITH A VIOLENT IMPACT. WITH THAT, WE CAN ONLY DO ONE THING FOR AN ATTEMPT OF SURVIVAL."

Kwazii could feel himself going more and more deaf, as the screams of Barnacles and Shellington echoed around him, exceeding what he felt was over 175 decibels. Enough to kill him… if this crash didn’t.

"BRACE FOR IMPACT!" Barnacles shouted so loudly, like he was angry at everyone. Like an actual polar bear…

Kwazii had enough of him. All he wanted to do was just hug Shellington. If this was gonna keep on going, the last thing he’d do… was rebel. And so, he did.

"Captain…. SHUT UP!" He shouted back, possibly rupturing a lung. But those didn’t matter anymore. "GET OFF MY BACK AND YE BUZZ RIGHT OFF, UNDERSTOOD?!"

Not that he heard that. But the cat wanted to scream at him.

The cat tightly hugged the otter, trying to talk to him. To know he was not alone. To know he was NEVER alone. He dragged him into his bed, head on the front end.

Kwazii’s idea was to seek shelter inside here. To stay upstairs was too dangerous. And he knew others were likely listening to Barnacles.

If anything, he was hoping Dashi was still asleep.

~~~~

"Listen to me.. Inkling.. I can’t find them anywhere. They’re missing, and I can’t be bothered anymore…" Peso cried in a raspy voice. "I bet you are just as hurt as I am, but please… Save the Vegimals. Get them out of here… and save yourself."

The squid smiled at the penguin, noticing how pale his eyes were. "Goodness me, you look very ill yourself… I promise I’ll look after them."

Peso felt as if he could collapse at any moment, but he still managed to shake his flipper with Inkling. "I’m sorry… I didn’t act faster… I'm gonna miss you…"

"Good luck out there," Inkling nodded. "You're in for one wild ride." Suddenly, the Octopod violently shook, throwing Peso to the ceiling and knocking him out instantly, but not killing him, thankfully. The impact had also caused many books to fly around, some crashing into the window, which left it cracked.

"My books! Peso! Just… what a tragedy! We HAVE to evacuate… Tunip, are you ready?" He looked at the broken window, knowing it was a perfect escape.

"Cheepa… wala… Shellybo." The Vegimal looked back from the door, knowing that otter was still in there.

"…I promise we'll find him once the sand settles. I guarantee that everything has a chance." Inkling held him by one tentacle, and watched as the glass, stressed by the harsh movements of the Octopod, as it continued to glide through the sea’s insane currents, cracked one more time.

And like that, it shattered into thousands of pieces, all which made way for GALLONS upon GALLONS of sea water.

Inkling took one final look at Peso's body, knowing there was no time left. He had to go, go, go.

The other Vegimals followed him, as he charged towards the escape, knowing he was leaving behind everything. Him, Inkling, being the founder… now leaving it all as it went to waste.

At first, the Octonauts were merely a collection of simulations that Inkling had worked on with two humans in LA and Vancouver. Michael and Vicki. To each one another, it didn’t feel like a whole lot, but it was the greatest thing they’d have ever done. None of them knew the impact those simulations from 2006 had. At the time, it was all just for fun.

They decided to cherish it with the other stuff they’d have been doing at the time. All under the studio’s name.

Meomi. A little creative studio dedicated to play, delight and good-liness.

That was how it started.

And now, it was a whole new world that he had made with those two humans. None of them really knew how big this whole thing would become, until it became clear, that it was more than that little… creative… studio.

2010. The Octonauts were real.

And now, they weren’t.

As the squid swam out, hauling the Vegimals, he knew what was going to be left from this.

A lost legacy, eternal regret, and an angry call at 4AM from Vicki.

All because of a broken anchor.

It continued to shred away in the currents. Panel by panel, piece by piece.

The Octopod was slowly falling apart.

But at least Barnacles stopped shouting. At least not on the intercom.

"…S-Shellington?" Kwazii whispered to the otter, both trapped inside his folded-up bed. "Are ye okay now?"

Sea otter couldn’t see for a moment, but then realized what had happened. "Kwazii, is that you? Hi. Why are the lights turned off?"

"Just wanted to help you sleep. I know you’re awake now, so I figured we’d… talk."

Neither really knew what they were referring to. They were just in this… coffin, unaware of their impending doom.

"…Of course. I should have thought about that. What’s on your mind, Kwazii?" Shellington awkwardly giggled. "You seem pretty bored."

For a moment, the cat was thinking. Now, when you’re inside a folded up (Michael) Murphy bed, you think you’re in danger. But not here. If anything, the two were simply enjoying each other’s company.

"Well… I do wanna confess something." Kwazii giggled back. "Ye approve~?"

Shellington let out an "mhmm", which made the cat blush a little.

"Good, matey. Now, I’m pretty sure ye know that we’ve been spending more time than usual lately. And honestly, I myself don’t really know why… But, Shellington, the thing is… and I’m being more genuine than a PlayStation 5 from a shady arcade, and I’ve wanted to say this for months now…

"Go on," said Shellington. "What's up?" He was becoming more intrigued, and Kwazii knew it was truly time to tell him.

"I always did love you. For REAL."

Shellington blushed heavily from those 5 words. With all the time he had spend with the cat, he knew he felt the same way. He went for it as well, smiling bright.

"…I love you too, Kwazii."

But right after that, came a massive…

BANG!

…and everything went darker than ever.

Dashi was still asleep.

Tweak ducked in the launch bay.

Peso, unconscious, was thrown out of the window.

Shellington was hiding in his bed.

Kwazii was with him.

But none of those sounded as terrifying as what Captain Barnacles Bear suffered through.

He was still in the HQ. Where all the glass was.

The Octopod fell flat on its front.

All the glass was smashed, and shards of it were sent flying towards him at an insanely fast speed. And all that Barnacles could do was block his face.

But now, it was too late.

Too late to cry.

Too late to brace.

Too late to scream.

Everything, even hopes and dreams, was shattered in seconds.

[shipgambles]

“This crew seems especially loyal to their captain. Kill him and they’ll crumble” the pirate captain announces, holding a knife to Asu’s throat. Asu’s eyes widen and panic settles in his stomach.

Hassan freezes and turns towards the captains. Terror fills his eyes as he rushes over, only to be stopped by a pirate blocking his path with a cutlass. “Asu!” he shouts, being met with a terror-filled expression from The East’s captain.

“Crew of The East! Drop your weapons or your captain dies!” The pirate captain announces, painfully twisting Asu’s arm behind his back.

One by one, the rest of the crew ceased their fighting, turning to view the fear-filled Asu. One by one, pirates take hold of the crew, some tying their arms behind their backs, others simply holding them.

As the commotion above deck quiets down, Jin rushes to the stairs, only to be stopped by Cypress. “What the hell are you doing?” He whispers, gripping the teen’s wrist, “It’s not safe until we’re told it is!”

“But-”

“No ‘buts’! We have to stay out of the way!”

Just as Cypress convinces Jin to back away, he hears his sister’s scream. Without thinking, he pushed past Jin and scrambled up the stairs; the teen following close behind.

Asu collapsed, his head slamming against the deck as blood pooled around him. Shit! he thought, shit, shit, shit! He moved his hands to his neck, desperately trying to stop the bleeding. He couldn't handle it anymore, the pain, the fear. Everything was too much for him. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop thinking.

He noticed little anything until Hassan was pressing his tan shirt against Asu’s neck. Asu looked up at his uncle. He had never seen Hassan so panicked. Hassan thought the same about Asu.

Hassan was saying something... Asu couldn’t focus on the words. Hurts... He was feeling dizzy now.

Cypress and Jin had made their way towards the tragedy as pirates rushed below deck to plunder whatever they could. Jin only made it partway before collapsing into sobs. They didn’t want to see this. They didn’t want to be here. Jin covered their ears and crouched down, their knees pressed against their chest.

Cypress rushed over to Asu and got to work. He briefly patted Hassan’s back, telling the man he did well, before turning his focus onto the wound. He closed his eyes. The healer suffers from healing; that was the caveat put in place by the Gods. He knew this wasn’t going too well for him, but he had to try.

Zhi was comforting Jin now, or at least trying to. They positioned themself between Jin and Asu, hoping Jin wouldn’t look up to see their dad bleeding out. They kept a tight grip on their halberd as they spoke softly to Jin, trying their best to calm the kid down.

Leaf was standing guard by Asu, tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched the pirates unload The East’s goods. She didn’t care about that. She gripped her spear and tried to avoid looking back at Asu. Leaf knew seeing the blood again would make her panic. She couldn’t panic now; she had to protect him. Protect him just in case the pirates decide to finish the job.

Asu coughs and it comes out as a gurgle. Cypress scolds him with a shaky voice, trying to use their usual banter to ease the anxiety in the air. It doesn’t work.

Cypress quickly wiped away the start of a nosebleed, hoping no one noticed he was overdoing the healing. Asu’s skin just wasn’t stitching together the way it should! It wasn’t working! Cypress’ sight turned red, and he blinked away blood. Shit. 

He held his breath and put everything he could into healing. Everyone would be devastated if Asu didn’t pull through, and he didn’t want to imagine Leaf’s grief. He didn’t want to think about Jin orphaned again.

Cypress grabbed Hassan's shirt to clean the blood, hoping Asu's skin would finally heal correctly.

Thank Anupriya. Cypress let out his held breath. Hassan squeezed Asu’s hand. He was going to be okay. The captain would survive.

Cypress felt strange. Dizzy. “He’ll be alright-“

The healer attempted to stand, only to collapse. He really overdid it this time. Healing always took so much out of him, but never this much. Anyone else would be in agony, but with Cypress being unable to feel pain, he had no clear warning for overdoing it. He heard his name repeated, but his vision faded to black before he could respond.

[krafterwrites]

silver without a doubt but also blaze methinks :]

I do like Blaze a lot, she's a great character! Most of the time when I think about her it's together with Silver, but I do enjoy stories that involve her like the Guardians story from the 2022 annual. I also really like Pirate Plunder Panic from Sonic Universe, it's a fun storyline

[cartoonrival]

I like Blaze the Cat on principle (pink/purple cat princess with magic powers) but does she show up in the comics, and if she does what is her character like there?

her characterization in all the comics is pretty steady imo. id describe her as someone who is kind but very dedicated to her responsibilities. she puts other people over herself sometimes her to own detriment, but shes very clever and noble, if rather serious. im not super familiar with her gameverse characterization so i cant comment on how accurate it is.

she has a pretty solid role in idw, but her role in both preboot and reboot archie is very small. the stories she does show up in are really fun though ^_^ shes in sonic universe 21-24 (preboot, treasure team tango) and su 55-58 (reboot, pirate plunder panic) if youre interested in some little (mostly) self-contained stories with her

[greenyvertekins]

Also in pirate plunder panic, everyone is showed to be annoyed by Marine. Sure she was a bit annoying in Rush Adventure, but not nearly to this extent. And it was also part of her character arc.

Amy yells in her face, the members of the coconut crew cover their ears when she orders the crew around... the Archie comics didnt show Marine in a good light.

Really shows how much of an unprofessional hack Flynn is, allowing personal biases to dictate how he writes characters. There's the way he over-idealized Sally and treated Toothpaste Snively Starline as the cleverer, cooler doctor. And the way characters like Drago and Marine were treated.

[poecamerondavies]

Edward Teach,

The Legendary Life and Final Voyage of Blackbeard the Pirate

Edward Teach, better known by his fearsome moniker "Blackbeard," remains one of the most infamous pirates in history. His name conjures images of terror on the high seas, with tales of plundering, battles, and his striking appearance fueling his legend. But behind the fearsome facade was a man whose life and eventual downfall offer a glimpse into the turbulent world of piracy in the early 18th century.

The Rise of Blackbeard

Edward Teach's early life is shrouded in mystery. Believed to have been born in Bristol, England, around 1680, little is known about his youth or how he first ventured to sea. Teach likely began his maritime career as a privateer during the War of the Spanish Succession (1701–1714), a common starting point for many pirates of his era. Privateers were essentially government-sanctioned pirates, permitted to attack enemy ships during wartime, and it was here that Teach likely honed his skills in naval combat and learned the art of piracy.

When the war ended in 1714, many privateers found themselves out of work. Unwilling to give up the lucrative life of plundering, some turned to piracy, and Edward Teach was among them. By 1716, he had joined the crew of the pirate Benjamin Hornigold, who would become his mentor. Hornigold saw potential in Teach and soon gave him command of a sloop. With this newfound authority, Teach began to make a name for himself, and his transformation into Blackbeard began.

The Infamy of Blackbeard

Blackbeard's reputation as a fearsome pirate grew rapidly. He was known for his terrifying appearance—his thick, black beard braided with slow-burning fuses that, when lit, surrounded his face with a menacing halo of smoke. He would also wear a bandolier across his chest, bristling with pistols, creating an image designed to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies.

One of Blackbeard's most notable exploits was the capture of the French slave ship La Concorde in 1717. After seizing the vessel, he refitted it for piracy, renaming it Queen Anne's Revenge. The ship, armed with 40 guns, became Blackbeard's flagship and a symbol of his dominance on the seas. He led a fleet of pirate ships, plundering merchant vessels from the Caribbean to the American colonies.

Blackbeard's most infamous act of piracy occurred in May 1718, when he blockaded the port of Charleston, South Carolina. For over a week, Blackbeard and his crew held the city hostage, demanding a ransom of medical supplies. The blockade caused widespread panic, but the citizens eventually met his demands, and Blackbeard sailed away unscathed. This bold move cemented his status as a pirate who was both cunning and ruthless.

The Fall of Blackbeard

Despite his fearsome reputation, Blackbeard's reign of terror was short-lived. By 1718, the British government had grown increasingly frustrated with the threat posed by pirates along the American coast. The newly appointed Governor of Virginia, Alexander Spotswood, took it upon himself to eliminate the pirate menace. He offered a pardon to any pirate who surrendered, but Blackbeard, having briefly accepted a pardon only to return to piracy, was not among those who heeded the offer.

In November 1718, Spotswood authorized a daring expedition to capture Blackbeard. He dispatched two sloops under the command of Lieutenant Robert Maynard of the Royal Navy. Maynard's ships tracked Blackbeard to his hideout on Ocracoke Island, off the coast of North Carolina. On November 22, 1718, the two sides clashed in a fierce battle that would become legendary.

Blackbeard fought ferociously, but Maynard's forces eventually overwhelmed him. According to accounts, Blackbeard sustained multiple gunshot wounds and over twenty cuts before finally succumbing to his injuries. To ensure that the pirate was truly dead, Maynard decapitated Blackbeard and hung his severed head from the bowsprit of his ship as a grim trophy.

The Legacy of Blackbeard

The death of Blackbeard marked the end of an era of piracy in the Caribbean and the American colonies. His demise sent a strong message to other pirates that the British government was serious about eradicating piracy, and within a few years, the Golden Age of Piracy came to an end.

Yet, the legend of Blackbeard lived on. Stories of his exploits and his fearsome persona continued to be told and retold, growing more elaborate with each telling. Blackbeard has since become a symbol of the wild and dangerous world of piracy, a figure larger than life whose name remains synonymous with the age of pirates.

Black beard's larger-than-life persona has been solidified through various forms of media. In literature, while Robert Louis Stevenson’s "Treasure Island" doesn’t feature Blackbeard himself, it helped establish the archetypal pirate that paved the way for many subsequent pirate stories, including those directly focusing on Blackbeard. Books such as David Hair’s "Blackbeard: The Birth of America" delve into his exploits, contributing to the mythos surrounding him.

The world of film and television has also played a significant role in shaping Blackbeard’s image. Disney’s "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" introduced a fantastical version of Blackbeard, portrayed by Ian McShane. This depiction, with its elements of magic and drama, while not historically accurate, has reinforced Blackbeard’s larger-than-life persona in the popular imagination.

In video games, Blackbeard continues to be a compelling character. The "Assassin’s Creed" series, particularly "Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag," features him as a blend of historical and fictional elements, allowing players to engage with his legend in an interactive way. This portrayal mixes real historical details with creative liberties, enhancing his legendary status.

Edward Teach, or Blackbeard, was not just a pirate; he was a master of psychological warfare, using his terrifying image and bold tactics to strike fear into his enemies. His life, though marked by violence and lawlessness, continues to fascinate and inspire, a testament to the enduring allure of the pirate mythos. Blackbeard's final battle may have ended in his death, but his legacy on the high seas remains immortal.