#piranha!etho

[daily-ethoslab]

Yknow what.

may I humbly request a fish Etho?

[877] I assume you meant the piranha guy? :) if not I can do a mermaid or something if u want hehe

[goldenwitherphoenix13]

Welcome to,

Life series, but they are all mermaids, and for some reason XB Crafted is here too

A ruddy stupid, random as shit mermaid AU

If you're wondering who is what, never fear for I am here! Here's a list!

Impulse is a Shark

Skizz is a Remora

Pearl is a deep sea fish (based on multiple fish found in the deep sea)

Gem is a Piranha

Lizzie is an axolotl

Joel is a betta

Tango is a Lemon Shark

Jimmy is a Cod

Scott is a Jellyfish

Cleo is a Zombie fish

Scar is a Catfish

Grian is a parrotfish

Martyn is a Lionfish

Ren is a Wolffish

BigB is a lantern fish

Etho is a leafy sea dragon

Bdubs is a pufferfish

Mumbo is an octopus

And after much convincing by my friend @lonleyzodiac , my friend convinced me to add XB as a Humuhumunukunukuapua'a, or the triggerfish. Yes I watched Octonauts as a kid, how can you tell?

Anyways, basic story time!

At an aquarium by the coast, there is a connecting facility that runs a Mermaid rescue, care and rehabilitation center, focused on giving mers a safe place to stay when they won't be able to survive in the wild or help nurse them back to healthy states so they can be released into the wild again.

Issue is that sometimes the mers can get a bit attatched to the humans and eachother so they refuse to leave.

All other Hermits, Empires members and even the yogcast lot work in the care center. Some of them work in the labs with medicines and understanding Mermaid biology, psychology and other -ologys. Meanwhile the others work with the mers in taking care of needs like food and environment. They also have an action squad who go out and perform actual rescues for mers who are in danger.

Some mers have permanent issues that mean they can't survive properly in the wild so they take up permanent residence. Some you can obviously see such as Mumbo and XB. Mumbo is missing a tentacle and XB lost half his tail. Others are there but harder to see such as Pearl's scars for her missing fins, and Scars scars for how hes constantly finding trouble, and Cleos damaged fins due to their frailty (this does not stop them being a sassy lil shit all the time, they do not care). And then there's Scott who has no sting in his stingers, Tango who has very poor eye sight and immune system, and Grian who was a mer raised out of the ocean and thusly has zero survival instincts.

The others are all there either because they got attatched to eachother or the humans. Some, like Impulse and Skizz, make up for this by actively helping out around the facility by finding other injured Mers outside who need help.

And then others aren't hurt or anything, just there because they already have a bond to other mers who were hurt. Joel is a special case as he is literally just there because he has fallen for Lizzie. Scott mentioned the concept of the word wife once and now it is Joel's favourite word.

And before I get any questions, yes Bdubs is a Mer. He looks like just a pufferfish, but he can speak very clear English.

Oh yeah. You can understand Mermaids when they are underwater, but above the water, they sound like they are talking gibberish. Fun thing is the mers can understand eachother above the surface, it's just humans who can't understand them.

[jettboat]

Mer AU - Chapter 1 - The Visitor

Ren had been alone all his life. The Ocean Kingdom didn't allow shark mers after King Scar came into reign. Of course, that didn't stop the dog shark mer from sneaking in and selling his human stuff. You'd be surprised how many mers believe him when he says he's a dog fish.

It was one of those normal days in the Ocean Kingdom, Ren was sweeping sand off the floor of his shop when he heard the door open. He looked over to see... Well, he wasn't sure. It was a mer but he couldn't tell what kind, he noticed how awkward the stranger swam. The mer had blond hair, a dark grey bandana was tied around his head, he wore bright green shirt, and had a grey tail with a scar near his caudel fin.

As the mer came closer, Ren noticed a few more scars on his tail... Like some of his fins were missing...

"Hey! I'm new around here, do you know where I can find a place to stay? Preferably under 100 sand dollars?" The mer asked.

"Uh... Yeah, just down the path, fifth building to your right. It's called Coral Inn, can't miss it." Ren replied.

"Awesome! Thanks! Hey, what do you sell here?" The mer smiled, Ren noticed sharp fangs.

"I sell human stuff I find lying around." He explained.

That wasn't really true, Ren went to the beach regularly, even though it's against the rules.

"Ah." The mer's smile faltered.

"You okay, dude?" The dog shark asked.

"Yeah, just don't have a good history with humans." He said, nervously. "Uh- have a good day!"

The mer turned to leave. Ren really didn't like the idea of the stranger swimming off and getting himself caught.

"Hey, what mer species are you?" He finally asked.

"Oh, uh, bull shark?" The mer replied, as if it was obvious.

Ren quickly dropped the broom and swam over to the very confused bull shark.

"You will get arrested if you say that! Or worst! King Scar forbids it!" Ren said quickly.

"Oh! That explains the stares! Wait... Why are you here then?" He asked.

"I've been sneaking in here for years. Been saying I'm a dog fish. You'll need a disguise by the way." Ren said, swimming behind the front desk to grab some paints.

"I mean... Could go with piranha? I am from the River Kingdom... And have the right number of fins now." The bull shark explained as Ren returned.

Ren had heard what happened to the River Kingdom a few months ago, humans invaded and took over the rivers.

"I'm sorry about what happened... Is that how you got those scars?" Ren asked.

"Nah, that one's from wrestling." He said, pointing to the one near his caudel fin. "And those are from humans taking my fins for some reason." He pointed to the missing fin scars.

Ren had also heard of humans taking shark fins, he heard a rumor they were eating them but he wasn't sure.

The bull shark grabbed the red paint and began painted his tail. "I'm Martyn by the way." He said.

"Ren... I have a den in the coral reef, might be better then the Inn if you'd prefer... Why are you here anyways?" He asked.

"Oh! I'm here to find what happened to King Etho!" Martyn smiled.

--------------------------------------------------------

So sorry this took me so long, been busy. Hope you guys enjoy the new au! Next will be the Apocalypse AU!

[meteor752]

We need part two of The Shovel Talk

Here ya go

Jekiv: I wouldn’t date him if I were you

Ren: Wait I thought you hated your dad, why would you care if we were together or not

Jekiv: Oh I don’t, but trust me it’s ended horribly the previous three times. Don’t take the risk

***

Novo: Foremaist he gaed fawr Cleo 'n' noo ya? What’s th’ ol’ man’s fahkin’ deal wi' yer fowk mate?

Martyn, who still doesn’t know where he fucking is: ??????????

***

Johnny: Mah old folk is very happy together, so yawl stay thuh H-E double toothpicks awf frum pa alright! Homewrecker!

Joel:

Joel: Jimmy and I are not together

Johnny: Yawl’re not?

***

Wes: Everybody just stop marrying my dad!

Etho:

Tango:

Cleo:

Doc:

Skizz who is somehow there:

Etho again, they got married and divorced again during this pause:

Beef:

Keralis:

Ren:

Etho once more:

Scar:

Impulse:

Impulse: Are you okay buddy?

***

Bonus:

Mummy: -and then we drop the piranhas, okay not before! This will only work if they come after the snake attacks and the death laser

Skim: [Nodding while taking notes]

Zee: What are you guys doing? :)

Mummy:

Skim:

Mummy: Plotting an evil plan on how to kill everyone who’s ever tried to form a relationship with our parents

Zee:

Zee: Cool can I help?? :D

[art-i-know-yes]

SPOILERS FOR LIMITED LIFE FINALES

im in class

Tango's Pov

rip skizz pour one out

laaaaassstttt epissoooooddeee

rough session is...yeah

"im the lowest!" "that's why you're in charge"

hiding. the plan is hiding.

Martyn always plans names

already bombing

team merge

bread bridge 2 is the hellscape

learning your lesson

scott is NOT waiting

Nosey Neighbors, TIME, Scott, and The Clockers

yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh

rule #1 is to always look up

one death and Etho is GOONNEE

grian scream :D

grian death :(

wow he wanted his time back

right back at him

BDUBS

awww ur soulmate

that looks awful

TANGO

oooo wasn't grian

surprise scar

14 MINUTES

they're hunting each other

DID THE BORDER MOVE

FALL DAMAGE

when did cleo die

rip tango

Scott's POV

whatcha doing babe

silent huh

YOU'RE NEARLY YELLOW

that's a lie

i just got Grian's notification

not for long

oh so martyn actually left the mean gills

im so excited to who's gonna win bc is not The Clockers

real time bomb set up

so...it went badly

one death

ok kinda figured it was planned

yes. very important to the deal.

gg babe

im so excited for Grian's pov bc wtf

like I know it's a game but like

scott dies in here

'sorry spilled my lava'

jinx

yeaaahhhh

a lot is happening

some of them hours

he's really just handing them out

scott is terrifying is the lesson

my heart

rip babe cause like

scott loses this game so sorry Beyonce

knew it was a play

"impulse :["

grian babe you had 5 hours. to have lost a solid 3.

OMG

Scott's--UGHH. the music he put scared me and THEN he backed away off the ladder. my heart.

GRIAN--WHY YOU ALWAYS AFTER SCAR

ALL THE CLOCKERS ARE OUT

"underwater?" "underwater." *next clip not in the water*

"i just wanna talk"

oooo they do (another headcannon lmao pearl and grian are siblings. of course very popular)

forgive each other's sins

"you can't see it from the ground" -joel

it's just up and up

so under bread bridge

plz no

grian is a 'yes and' man

GRIAN'S HACK

DIVE BABES

well there goes them

who died there

peaaaarll

RUN BIGB

HELL YEAH

"round table of compliments" for skizz!

scott keeps looking up and it's so funny

awwwwww

"you scare me" "awww"

"and now we kill each other"

rip bigb

bigb hacks

byeeeee dan

betrayal arc from i e

"martyyynnnn they tried to kill me" "who what where" "impulse and ethoooo" "alright they're dead" it's so cute

side note: my favorite thing out of this season is people being like 'this is a kindergarten playground.' i love it so much bc it's keeps it fun and cutesy. still love my angst tho

MEAN GILLS love em

the idea of everyone being like 1 or 2 deaths kicking them out the game is like exhilarating

oh. martyn.

NOO GRIAN last 6

everybody's off

BYEEE ETHO

Scott's so good

bye bye PEARL

mean gills vs impulse

8 minutes

even playing field

AHHHHHHH MARTYN

I figured it be one of them

HE WON YES OOO MEAN GILLS

babe said put him down

"my own mean gill. and i wouldn't have it any other way."

ya know the entire sun, star, moon win thing we got going on. well we have the Listener/Watcher which kind of fits in.

this is the the second time I've learned who won by actually watching and not just looking it up

Grian's Pov

solidarity. huh.

"my stuff"

i did vaguely think about boogey

well i wonder if that happens

"it works!"

well. there's that trap.

where's your mother

"went out for milk with the neighbor" lmao

oh. well. good idea.

he really is bc he's been wandering like this entire ep

literally did not hear a word from Grian other than a scream in...there

they're bullying him/j

was that a grian kill? i thought that was a tie kill

bad boy till the end

fun fun fun for the boy

the silent fights are the best bc you know they're all stressed

oh you created that one the sky height

IT WAS GRIAN

awww his cackle

it genuinely makes me very happy

he's just begging

ohhh that explains that one

oh that was pearl's

OH HE GOT CLEO TOO

final kills should give an hour

this season nobody actually ran out of food

like piranhas

too bad neither was right

the bridge will provide

potato pier will also provide

ok so i was right

gUlp

ya know each session is like 3 hours and so 8 episodes is basically 24 hours

oh so if you're in the same side you can't do anything but lmao

"MY BREAD"

babe just drowned

50 SECONDS

from every angle

what kills you grian I'm so curious but i have 8 more minutes

it's the feeling of being a badboy

awww scar's little 'cUtEgUy"

PROTECT THE PODCAST

ohhhh OHHH BC HE GAVE ETHO THE SWORD

even stevens

it's just loop and loop and loop

"pearl-friends PEARL.FRIENDS."

pearl is too feral

good luck

this music

WOOOOWWWW. YOU PULLED A JIM. YOU PULLED A JIMMY.

rip my bad boy

"ooOOOOoOooO spooky"

you did well tho. very good.

Jimmy. jimmy please. I SO BADLY WANT TO KNOW YOUR REACTION.

sighhhh the bad boy way spreads. they all died on bread bridge.

MARTYN'S MY LAST ONE AND I WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY FINISHED THE SERIES THE DAY OF AND NOT MONTHS AFTERWARDS...

Martyn's Pov

very excited to watch.

im listening on 2x speed bc he mostly with views I've watched

untrue and you know it

very funny fast speed voices

water people love it

oh he did that

oh so much happened

fast suspense music

for the /j

"Wow this map is huge" Yeah literally half of the map was just ignored

3 numbers that kill you from boat drop

you know the fact that Scott let them do that but i guess it makes sense bc he's pretty honest but

wow martyn

nope just Grian

he was instant with that jump

he killed etho WOO

mad maneuvers

almost pulled a tango

had to change it back to normal speed. headache :(

mean gills double team

you got him with his own bucket

scott was putting on work

'hard sweat hard sweat why you gaming so hard'

4 hr 8 min

like our fore fathers who watch on

lmao went insane

why we counting down

fair. ominous.

back here

OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THE FRAGMENT SOUL THINGS

is he free from being a Listener now that his soul is safe

im so spacey that i can't really understand

ok wait. there are watchers. they are Listeners. not free but still trying to run away from a choice. after each perma death(?) [for martyn] there's a soul fragment and woven together they make his soul.

that's the gist, right?

ANYWAY THATS THE END AND AHAHHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY HE WON WOO

annnnddd im actually caught up on every pov bc the first 2 i only watched grian and in dl i got too behind and only watched grian's finale (as well as Jimmy's but...we all know how that ended)

anyway im happy. im scared to read angst. and i really want to see more of the kindergarten playground au type beat. but. yeah. that was fun.

[wasyago]

even if you dont draw much for mermay what would fish/se animals you assign to each hermit?

hmmm, this one took a while but im pretty happy with how it turned out!! some aren't fish of course, and some are freshwater while others are saltwater, and some of them are more of a joke, but ehhh who cares

grian - hermit crab

mumbo - manta ray

scar - lake sturgeon

impulse - coconut crab

pearl - nudibranch

gem - sea horse

doc - anglerfish

ren - krill

cub - yellowfin tuna

xb - black dragonfish

keralis - black moor goldfish

hypno - moorish idol

cleo - moray eel

joe - guppy

jevin - portuguese man o war

wels - swordfish

xisuma - octopus

tfc - dunkleosteus

zed - starfish

tango - piranha

bdubs - stonefish

etho - barracuda

false - thresher shark

beef - halibut

iskall - perch

stress - vampire squid

[writer-room]

Tied

AO3

Summary: And when standing waist-deep in water, staring at the back of a man he was fully expecting to be dead within the hour, Grian’s first and only thought was; you’ve got to be kidding me. And then he screamed. Because the Universe just really hates his guts, doesn’t it?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Grian is the sort of person where, at any point in time, there are a lot of thoughts going on in his head.

Sometimes, it works out. Because when your head is never quiet, it’s not too hard to remember things, and even easier to learn. It also means he’s got quite a lot of ideas, on quite a lot of things, and this is where it strays into the dangerously troublesome territory.

Because then he gets ideas like starting wars. Or stealing the Enderdragon’s egg. Or living in a sentient, probably malicious rock. Or starting a death game with his friends. Because boredom makes you do a lot of crazy things. Reckless stupidity makes you do it repeatedly. 

But this wasn’t about that.

Because for every truth, there is an exception. So, please believe that it’s a tremendously horrific deal that, when standing waist-deep in water, staring at the back of a man he was fully expecting to be dead within the hour, Grian’s first and only thought was; you’ve got to be kidding me.

And then he screamed. Because the Universe just really hates his guts, doesn’t it?

He saw both Etho and Joel startle at the sound of it, which was understandable. It was loud, distorted, horribly grating on the ears, and he damn near popped his jaw loose from how wide he stretched it.

He heaved in a breath, and experimentally touched a hand to his jaw. Ah, yeah, that side popped out a bit. Let’s just push that back in–

“Oh no,” He suddenly hears Etho say. “Joel, I just threw an enderpearl. I think I’m gonna die.”

“What–?”

And then Etho is teleporting away with a yelp. 

It was so sudden and so Etho that Grian couldn’t help but stare, blink, and burst out laughing. Hysterically. Which was probably because of the frayed nerves.

And then Joel is laughing, too. Though his is more gleeful cackling, clinging onto the side of the canyon wall and doubled over in fits. And Grian is laughing along with him, and he can hear Etho somewhere above him laughing along with them, tumbling back down into the water, and they’re all such a mess.

“God,” Grian manages to get out, “this is terrible. Oh, goodness.”

“You’re actually linked?” Joel wheezes out, though he knows the answer. “Oh, oh that is too good. That’s incredible. That’s amazing.”

“I’m so sorry.” Etho says, completely ingenuine, and Grian notices that he’s got a wooden raft under one arm he’s trying to use as a boat, setting it over the water.

“God,” Grian says again, just staring off where Scar is chasing an allay up the canyon wall. Because of course he is. “I hate my life.”

“I give you my full sympathy.” Etho says, woefully unhelpful.

“I don’t.” Joel says, grinning, and if Grian didn’t know he was human all the way though, he would’ve called his teeth as sharp as a piranhas. “This is hilarious. Please live long enough for me to see how this goes.”

“I have no say in the matter!” Grian exclaims, gesturing off to where Scar is running around overtop the canyon. “You know just as well as I that Scar can, and will, die from absolutely anything! At any time! Oh, gosh,” Grian buries his face in his hands. “I can’t do this. Not again. I’m not gonna make it.”

“I don’t think Scar’s gonna make it.” Joel says, and Grian loudly groans, slumping back against the dirt wall behind him.

“I know,” He whines, slowly sliding down, water reaching up to his neck. Because he’s pretty sure the only two people shorter than Joel in the whole Universe are Bdubs, who’s like that by choice, and himself, who’s stuck with it. “The Fates hate me.”

“Eh, I mean, I kinda see why.” Etho shrugs, just as unsympathetic. “You’ve pissed them off, like, a lot of times.”

“I can’t do this.” He repeats, fingers moving aside as one of his eyes stared down at the water, mere inches from his face.

“Well, you’re gonna have to.” Joel says simply, perched on a jutting out piece of rock by his head.

“I can fix this.” Grian insists, hands falling away and into the water, looking up. His ears, he knows, are frazzled, fluffed, and altogether torn up. They haven’t been fully feathered in weeks. “I–this is still my game. Despite all that's happened, it's still–it’s mine.” He says, hands curling, desperate to grab and tear something. Maybe his hair, that’s usually a good start.

“Gonna have to politely ask that you don’t do that.” Etho says, wincing as he pulls himself up onto the boat-raft. “First time you tried to mess with the game, everything broke apart. And I think Martyn and Scott are still pretty shaken up over having to meet your eye-buddies from the last one.”

“Scott barely met them.” Grian scoffs, rolling his eyes. “And they were tame with Martyn. Believe me, if they didn’t like him, I’d know by now. They just like being a pain.”

“I still think it’s a bad idea.” Etho says gently, sitting cross-legged. “It won’t be so awful, will it? You did it once before. And it was pretty successful, I think.”

That’s kind of the problem, he almost says, nearly shouts. It was successful. Because Grian is not a cheater, but he is a rule-bender, and the game was kind of rigged and broken from the start. 

It was successful, because this was his game. And Grian had made the mistake of willingly binding himself to someone like Scar. Because it was one thing if it was a forced binding. If it was all a trick. If it was someone like Jimmy, or Martyn, or Bigb, or Cleo. Those were people he would ditch in a heartbeat just to see what would happen, or could still consider somewhat of an ally by the end, or knew could handle themself on their own.

Scar was none of these people. Scar could only live for as long as he had valuables on him, or was able to convince others he had them. Grian knew how cunning he was, and was far too exasperated to stay close enough to call him an ally. And he always told himself Scar would be easy to ditch, to see what he does, but…he’s not. He’s never been easy.

It was successful, because by the time his pact was over and done with, there was nowhere else for him to go. He’d backed himself into a corner. The side he’d picked was the side he was stuck with. He barely even thought about ditching. How could he?

It was successful, because despite Scar being, well, Scar, he still won. To Grian, it was always their win. Grian kept Scar alive, and Scar went on to destroy their enemies by sheer luck. For all the betrayals, and the screaming, and the bared throats accepting defeat, it was their win.

His hands still shook when he thought beyond the sandy mountain and the grave for a llama that meant so little and yet still so much, so he tried not to.

“He doesn’t know.” He says instead, because he knows Scar, and there’s no way he knows. He’d be scamming Grian for all his worth if he knew. Or using him as a flesh shield. “He hasn’t figured it out yet.”

“That’s just kinda sad, honestly.” Joel clicks his tongue.

“You can’t tell him.” He says, and it sounds more like a plea. “Let’s just–not tell him.”

“It would be funny.” Etho agrees, giving Joel a look as if he’s trying to convince him. As if Joel doesn’t make up his mind in three seconds flat and sticks to it like a dying man.

“Oh, it would be doubly hilarious.” Joel agrees easily. “It’d be a shame to ruin the fun so early, really.”

He honestly can’t tell if they’re being jerks on purpose, or if this is just how they are. It’s probably a bit of both. His friends are weird like that.

“Unbelievable,” Grian scoffs. “You’re both–”

“It’s unbelievable, Grian!”

Grian doesn’t startle, but he does stop and look up. Etho startles, though. Always a tad jumpier than him or Joel.

And Grian sees a splash in the river as Scar half-hops, half-trips off a ledge, apparently having come back down the canyon. His head pops up a moment later, and Grian is out in the water and reaching for him before he even realizes he’s moved, friends forgotten behind him.

His hands, crooked and sharp, snag Scar’s sleeves. A familiar voice in his head is rattling off thoughts like a list of materials he needs, saying; Scar’s leg braces won’t make him sink immediately, but they aren’t buoyant, either. He doesn’t always remember this. No matter how waterproof he makes them, he can never seem to find a good blend between ‘functional’ and ‘won’t fall apart when soaked.’

He remembers thinking this, even when they were in water that didn’t even reach the man’s waist. He remembers seeing him bowed there, and despite it all, some part of him thought; he’s going to ruin those braces.

And Scar gives him such a sad, pouty look as Grian tugs him back towards their little shelf with all his might. Despite the fact he’s not a water bird. And his tail is too long and too heavy, and his wings, clipped, though that would never stop him, are barely managing to keep him afloat.

Despite that, he pulls him along.

“I lost my allay.” Scar says sadly, positively defeated. “My soulmate just left me up the hill.”

And Grian blinks, and stares at his face, at his green, living eyes. A face that hasn’t acknowledged the claws digging into his arms at all, or any of the previous conversations they had, or even given a hint at knowing just what in the world is going on.

And Grian smiles, crazily, perhaps a bit unhinged, and ready to curse the world for making him exist at all. And then he holds Scar’s arms tighter, and he laughs.

If Scar notices how much it clicks, whistles, and rattles around in a brain like how it shouldn’t, he says nothing. Nor if he notices just how worn and weary such a sound can be.

He just smiles back, because he’s Scar. He’s gone along with far worse than a lunatic who’s earned the ire of the Universe itself, and would continue to do so.

And he hates knowing that for certain, because he’s still not sure if that's a good thing or not.

[salemoleander]

Doc showed up to show how much of his diamond ore he still had, and everyone IMMEDIATELY stole it like piranhas

Bdubs: "Ren good news! We can restart the kingdom!"

Immediately Ren starts using King Voice again

Etho: "You don't want to start a Hermit War during a charity stream"

Ren: "You looked after me during S8, I'll give you these back."

I think Doc is going to start killing soon

[azuremallone]

Azure’s Corner

Dear Diary,

As I continue my survival on this desolate spinning ball’s procession around its parent star, I find myself today reflecting on the planet’s population of monkeys. They have a universal saying, “Be who you are, don’t change for others.” In various forms, this is a real Universal truth. Cultures across the cosmos have the same ethos for better or for worse.

My species doesn’t believe in the self as a collective among others. We treasure our individuality by the subtle modifications we make to our appearance. Being shapeshifters and all, body language is not really a thing for us inasmuch as using it to reflect our inner selves.

The Hak’taegan interpret this to mean the epitome of dominance. To change one’s mind at the behest of others is weakness. Weakness is crushing to the self. As a collective minded species similar to Humans, submissiveness is punishable by public humiliation. For a species that resembles demonic clowns, this punishment is almost exactly what you think it would be: Dragged out in front of the town one resides, hoisted up onto a stage, and forced to tell jokes or perform tricks until one dies of exhaustion or more than half of the audience laughs. As these are now transmitted to all Hak’taegans via a form of television, a device in the receiver (or computer) registers the laughter and tallies automatically. It’s much more elegant and “Humane” these days.

On the other hand, the Krites interpret this saying in terms of their victims’ flavors. These little critters have more in common with bastardly ravenous cat-piranhas than anything else. The saying reflects more of an internal agreement that their brethren should enjoy the same flavor of what they’re consuming. If someone tastes differently to another Krite, it’s just unfortunate that the meal wasn’t consistently flavorful.

This brings me to Humans. It’s so hypocritical of them to make this an endearing standard, and then completely fuck it in the ass, stab it in the back of the skull with a drill, and crank that bitch up to a slow churn. Not all Humans take this sentiment for granted, mind you, and really do believe in it. For them, I have hope. For others, well...

Without getting political; I find it absolutely insulting that Liberals claim to embrace diversity, and then hate anyone who isn’t just like them. Equally, that everyone isn’t the same, immediately violates their core tenet of diversity. It’s a hyperbolic hypocrisy that resonates in what I call, The Rectal-Cranial Inversion Syndrome. It’s where one’s head begins to grow closer to the anus, and over time, proceeds to be absorbed into the colon. Further growth into the lower intestine leads to an entopic singularity that finally the victim becomes their own shit. As anyone in physics would agree, as mass and density increase, a point of singularity develops a micro-black hole, sucking in everyone and everything around them with a sickening pop.

Where I’m going with this, is that the desire to be unique and express it amongst others of equal uniqueness is paradoxical. It’s a childish desire to belong to something greater than themselves, while holding to their pedantic thought that they themselves are still unique. No, you’ve become a collective of the same. Tribalism is fine, and being unique in one’s tribe is comforting when that tribe accepts you. Yet, if the tribe is all that there is for you to feel unique, then one must not be intelligent to realize that tribes change and may reject your uniqueness at any moment. Not having a firm grasp of oneself as a unique entity, being your uniqueness even in the face of overwhelming sameness makes you weak.

The Earth’s population of talking monkeys seems intent on following the path of the Hak’taegan. While humane, forcing one’s perceived pariahs of today to die by their own weakness, it’s just not got quite the pizazz that the Hak’taegan inherently cherish in their genome. You, Human, do not fart glitter because you do not use gold, rubidium, and magnesium as a catalyst in your digestive tract -- You use copper, sodium and potassium and therefore fart sulfides. It’s well known that Hak’taegans, like other species, may fart when they laugh. This makes others laugh when glitter poofs from their anuses.

No, Humans, you can’t match the Hak’taegan. Your flavor varies to the point that it infuriates Krites, which makes them more ravenous. When Krites become angry because prey doesn’t have a uniform expected flavor, they feel justified in eradicating the species by consuming it to extinction as quickly as possible so future generations won’t suffer from indigestion. So you’re in a bind here.

Learn to:

Think for yourself and not care what others think or believe.

Accept others for who they are and what they think or believe.

Understand that words and ideas don’t hurt.

Let’s explore #1:

Do you really care if no one likes your hair?

Does it really matter to you if someone believes in Santa Claus?

Do you really, honestly believe that everyone should agree with you or have horrible things happen to them?

If you really care that no one likes your hair, what does it matter to you if you do? Is it really that fucking important? Are you really that self-centered? Holy shit, are you trying to force everyone to like you or will it really kill you to consider the criticism may be helpful?

“Hello, Jane, I know you like your new hair but shaving it down the middle and dying it vomit is a bit extreme for the board meetings.”

Let’s explore #2:

If you’re such an asshole, that you’re willing to shatter the fantasies of a child with cold truth, you need to reflect on your life choices. If someone wants to believe in Santa Claus and uses that as their ambition to support overriding Human nature, who exactly the fuck are you to crush that? If you don’t believe in Santa and feel you’re such a better person than those who do for it, then please explain why it’s your self-appointed duty to shit on everyone who does? Is it because you believe that a small few justify the treatment of a whole? How moral you are...

Let’s explore #3:

If someone tells you something that you don’t like, are you really hurt by it? Because if so... allow me to introduce you to:

AZURE MALLONE’S SCHOOL FOR THE GIFTED AT PISSING PEOPLE OFF

When you were born, the Doctor wiped your mother’s ass.

Humans have only two biological sexes.

Jesus said to love everyone as we love ourselves, but you make that challenging.

I think there should be regulations on Corporations.

Your child is a fucking moron and you’re just dumber.

The color of the sky is aqua.

Hitler wasn’t wrong and neither was he right.

All lives matter.

Humans evolved from apes.

LGBTQ+ is a collection of tribes with fake flags.

Rainbows exist because you make God cry.

If God didn’t intend for there to be gay men, then why do guys put their dick in everything?

People should marry whomever they want, but your partner is why animals are out of the question.

Abortion is murder.

Sometimes abortion is OK.

Guns don’t kill people, but they sure help.

If you think what you said hurts me, hold my beer...

I believe everyone needs to be thicker skinned. Equity, Equality, and Enfranchisement are words that are meaningless if you cannot tolerate, listen to, attempt to understand, and educate yourself, especially around the diversity of other people’s ideas or enjoying each others’ cultures respectfully. Furthermore, you cannot espouse how superior you are if in fact you are a closed minded zealot. Of any ideology one may subscribe to, emotional ties to such ideology makes you a zealot. In no way can bigotry be tolerated inasmuch as zealotry can be tolerated.

[architectnews]

Kanva revamps former Olympic venue the Montreal Biodome

Architecture studio Kanva has redesigned the Montreal Biodome, a science museum in Canada, to reveal its original concrete arches and create new homes for its animal occupants.

The museum, which was originally an Olympic sports venue, contains four miniature ecosystems filled with plants and animals that visitors can walk through and explore.

The building used to be an Olympic velodrome

Designed by French architect Roger Taillibert and completed in 1976, the domed structure was designed as a velodrome. In the late 80s work began on converting the building, and it reopened in 1992 as the Montreal Biodome.

Kanva won the competition to undertake the Biodome Migration project in 2014. Migration was chosen as the name to reflect the animals moving to new enclosures and symbolise the museum's commitment to shifting attitudes around nature and climate change.

Roger Taillibert designed the building in the 70s

As part of the project, a four-metre-high clay cliff was built for macaws to nest in while a 15-metre-long ice tunnel was installed to create an immersive entryway for the arctic experience.

The complex renovation involved zip-lining fish over from pond to pond in pouches of water to clear the way for construction, while nine rope technicians rappelled down from the roof to install netting over the bird enclosures.

Kanva opened up the ceiling to the original roof

Kanva made the original roof a focal point of the revamp, removing a low ceiling insert and revealing the concrete vaults and the geometric roof glazing.

The reception hall is painted white to reflect the light from the roof and create a neutral space in between the ecosystem areas that occupy the majority of the building.

A glass lift leads to the mezzanine

Walls of stretched white fabric divide this central lobby from the biodomes. As visitors pass between the fabric they can experience the smells, sounds and shifts in temperature before they see nature.

Kanva explained this partition system was informed by biophilia, a concept formed in 1984 by entomologist Edward O Wilson that theorises humans are soothed by the presence of nature.

White fabric walls divide the exhibits of the Montreal Biodome

Montreal Biodome's ecosystems represent different types of terrain found across the Americas. The Tropical Rainforest is full of parrots, piranhas and poisonous tree frogs, while lynx roam the Laurentian Maple Forest that's based on Quebec's woodlands.

The Gulf of St Lawrence recreates the space where the Great Lakes meet the Atlantic Ocean. A mezzanine floor overlooks these three zones, accessible via a glass elevator. A bright yellow interactive display about nature occupies this level.

The ice tunnel is 15 metres long

A two-metre-wide ice wall separates off an area designed to recreate the chillier Sub-Antarctic Islands and the Labrador Coast.

Kanva worked with employees at the City of Montreal to design the system, which chills aluminium coils filled with a chemical called glycol to minus eight degrees Celcius. This keeps a layer of ice up to 20 centimetres thick over the tunnel.

So as to not undermine the environmentally friendly ethos of the Montreal Biodome, the ice tunnel system runs off the excess energy created by the buildings geothermal energy system.

"The Biodome Migration could never have happened if everyone had worked in silos," said Kanva project lead Rami Bebawi.

"The level of complexity of the existing context and the cohabitation with living species required the participation of all stakeholders to succeed," added Bebawi.

For me, this high level of collaboration is a reflection of what we need to do to collectively address the environmental challenges facing humanity!"

The exhibits recreate various ecosystems from the continent

Another challenge posed by the redesign was re-painting a 10-metre-high mural in the water tank of the Gulf of St. Lawrence.

The fish in this exhibit couldn't be moved so instead of draining the tank, a team of divers was sent down to set up a scaffolding system to allow construction workers access.

Habitats are made to look as realistic as possible

Two textile meshes, each measuring 1.5 square kilometres laid out flat, needed to be draped over the top of the Laurentian Maple Forest and the Gulf of St. Lawrence, requiring the assistance of the rope team.

A clay cliff was built for a brand new exhibit containing macaws. A geologist, a tropical bird expert and construction contractors with a specialism in making fake backdrops were enlisted to make the setting look as realistic as possible.

The Montreal Biodome is dedicated to educating people about nature

Kanva is an architecture office based in Montreal.  The practice also created a facade of photoengraved concrete for a student housing block in the city.

Photography is by Marc Cramer / James Brittain.

Project credits:

Design architect: Kanva Collaborating architect: NEUF architect(e)s Building code specialist and cost consultant: Groupe GLT+ Specification writer: Atelier 6 Lighting design consultant: LightFactor Lighting design consultant: La Bande à Paul Collaborating exhibition designer: La Bande à Paul Collaborating set designer: Anick La Bissonnière Collaborating museologist: Nathalie Matte Wayfinding specialist: Bélanger Design Land surveyor: Design Topo 3D Acoustics specialist: Soft dB Specification writer: Atelier 6 Electromechanical engineer: Bouthillette Parizeau Structural engineer: NCK Inc

The post Kanva revamps former Olympic venue the Montreal Biodome appeared first on Dezeen.

[whisperthatruns]

Want is ten thousand blue feathers falling all around me, and me unable to stomach that I might catch five but never ten thousand. So I drop my hands to my sides and wait to be buried. I open a book and the words spring and taunt. Flashes---motel, lapidary, piranha---of every story, every poem I'll never know well enough to conjure in sleep. What's the point of words if I can't own them all? I toss book after book into my imaginary trashcan fire. Or I think I'll learn piano. At the first lesson, we're clapping whole and half notes and this is childish, I'm better than this. I'd like to leave playing Ravel. I'd like to give a concerto on Saturday. So I quit. I have standards. Then on Saturday, I have a beer, watch a telethon. Or we watch a documentary on Antarctica. The interviewees are from Belarus, Lima, Berlin. Everyone speaks English. Everyone names a philosopher, an ethos. One man carries a raft on his back at all times. I went to Nebraska once and swore it was a great adventure. It was. I think of how I'll never go to Antarctica, mainly because I don't much want to. But I should want to. I should be the girl with a raft on her back. When I think of all the mountains and monuments and skyscapes I haven't seen, all the trains I should take, all the camels and mopeds and ferries I should ride, all the scorching hikes I should nearly die on, I press my body down, down into the vast green couch. If I step out the door, the infinity of what I've missed will zorro me across the face with a big L for Lazy. Sometimes I watch finches at the feeder, their wings small suns, and have to grab the sill to steady myself. Metaphorically, of course. I'm no loon. Look---even my awestruck is half-assed. But I'm so tired of the small steps--- the pentatonic scale, the frequent flyer hoarding, the one exquisite sentence in a forest of exquisite sentences. There is a globe welling up inside of me. Mountain ranges ridging my skin, oceans filling my mouth. If I stay still long enough, I could become my own world.

Catherine Pierce, “Because I’ll Never Swim in Every Ocean”

[daily-ethoslab]

[830] looking at u

[poem-today]

A Favourite Catherine Pierce Poem

Because I’ll Never Swim in Every Ocean

Want is ten thousand blue feathers falling all around me, and me unable to stomach that I might catch five but never ten thousand. So I drop my hands to my sides and wait to be buried. I open a book and the words spring and taunt. Flashes—motel, lapidary, piranha—of every story, every poem I’ll never know well enough to conjure in sleep. What’s the point of words if I can’t own them all? I toss book after book into my imaginary trashcan fire. Or I think I’ll learn piano. At the first lesson, we’re clapping whole and half notes and this is childish, I’m better than this. I’d like to leave playing Ravel. I’d like to give a concerto on Saturday. So I quit. I have standards. Then on Saturday, I have a beer, watch a telethon. Or we watch a documentary on Antarctica. The interviewees are from Belarus, Lima, Berlin. Everyone speaks English. Everyone names a philosopher, an ethos. One man carries a raft on his back at all times. I went to Nebraska once and swore it was a great adventure. It was. I think of how I’ll never go to Antarctica, mainly because I don’t much want to. But I should want to. I should be the girl with a raft on her back. When I think of all the mountains and monuments and skyscapes I haven’t seen, all the trains I should take, all the camels and mopeds and ferries I should ride, all the scorching hikes I should nearly die on, I press my body down, down into the vast green couch. If I step out the door, the infinity of what I’ve missed will zorro me across the face with a big L for Lazy. Sometimes I watch finches at the feeder, their wings small suns, and have to grab the sill to steady myself. Metaphorically, of course. I’m no loon. Look—even my awestruck is half-assed. But I’m so tired of the small steps— the pentatonic scale, the frequent flyer hoarding, the one exquisite sentence in a forest of exquisite sentences. There is a globe welling up inside of me. Mountain ranges ridging my skin, oceans filling my mouth. If I stay still long enough, I could become my own world.

Catherine Pierce

[daily-ethoslab]

[762] I used my piranha etho for this one cause why not :)

[daily-ethoslab]

[692] LET HIM OUTTA THERE

[daily-ethoslab]

[661] I finally got around to finishing this etho piranha design.