#piracy is back on the menu boys

[mushowom]

Okay right after my last post I wandered into youtube for what would have been another rewatch since the mere thought of The Summer kickstarted the brainworms again and HUH??? THE FULL MOVIE ON YOUTUBE GOT FUCKING NUKED!!!! I CANT FIND IT ANYMORE..........

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

It's home cinema manufacturing time! 🏴‍☠️ Gonna put my pirate show on my shelf! (I'm doing an Arts and Crafts Project and I'm making it everyone's problem.)

After seeing how much they cost, I abandoned the idea of getting a Blu-ray writer for now. For the time being, good old DVDs is what it's going to be! My TV is old and not very big, so DVD resolution is gonna be fine.

It's been ages since I last burned a DVD. For the full experience, I'm gonna create nice menus and pretty sleeves for the boxes. Graphic design is my passion! Um.

Well. First needed to find a program to do stuff with. I'm a Linux guy, so I'm using Devede. (Which is free, btw. In case someone else wants to do a low cost spot of putting pirate show on the shelf.)

DVDs fit a maximum of 120 minutes of video. So, four episodes, I thought. But after a quick attempt, the program refused to do more than three (maybe because of the menu also taking up space, and four episodes cutting pretty close to the 120 min mark?). Anyway, three episodes per disc it is. It's a pretty nice runtime for watching the entire disc, IMO. An hour and a half, and then you can return to reality to realise you should probably eat something, or go to bed because it's midnight.

OFMD with its current two seasons has a total of eighteen episodes, which is divisible by three. You get the following setup:

Disc 1: Pilot, A Damned Man, The Gentleman Pirate - That's pretty good, Stede's introduction to piracy all on one disc!

Disc 2: Discomfort in a Married State, The Best Revenge is Dressing Well, The Art of Fuckery - All bangers. Great to watch together, our boys meet and shenanigans happen!

Disc 3: This is Happening, We Gull Way Back, Act of Grace - Many romantic moments, lots of great scenes, shit hits the fan at the end there. Alright!

Disc 4: Wherever you go, there you are, Impossible Birds, Red Flags - ... Pain and angst! What have I done!?! The disc of horrors. Gotta make sure to have tissues at hand when I watch this. But hey, it also has messy bun Ed! Small mercies.

Disc 5: The Innkeeper, Fun and Games, The Curse of the Seafaring Life. - Another disc with all winners. I love all these episodes so much! (You can watch this disc to recover from the trauma of the previous one!) But seriously, this one slaps.

Disc 6: Calypso's Birthday, Man on Fire, Mermen - Great combination again. Season finale! Love and excitement!

... Honestly, except for the psychological damage of putting all the most painful episodes together, this is coming out pretty cool. Says a lot about how good the show is. I actually really love all the episodes (yes even the painful angsty episodes of massive depression). Thinking about this little project really reminded me how much I love this entire show.

So, we got a tracklist, now menus, then we can burn this stuff!

I did the menu backgrounds in GIMP. Realised I have a big folder full of screenshots I took myself, screenshots someone else took and posted on Tumblr, official promo pics for the show, and I have no idea anymore where most of them are from, because I named the files according to what's on them. Which is useful for when you want to find pics (Need a picture of cursed suit Stede? I have files named that, easy peasy!), but not so great if you wanted to give credit to whoever took a given pic you used. (It's probably @sherlockig or @ofmd-ann or @blakbonnet. Please feel credited, your beautiful screens and gifs brighten my day, and some of them are now probably part of my DVD menus. Shrunk down and cropped, but, yeah.)

I originally wanted to structure my menus as having the title of an episode, then some pics from it, then the next episode, then pics from that, and so forth, but I couldn't convince the program to give me the necessary padding between the menu items, so I ended up just putting the episode images below the menu. Still like it.

Anyway, DVD menus can also play sound! Behold a crappy video of my beautiful creation (provided entirely for sound):

It plays Gnossienne N°5!

More crappy pics of my other disc menus:

Gonna make them some nice sleeves next. Some day. Gotta make sure they all work properly first. So. I'll be on my sofa, watching my DVDs. With menus! (Edit: here are!)

[hannahhook7744]

Things I love about the sea three;

All info is from Uma's Wicked Book and the descendants movies.

The fact that they put up with one another.

How in sync the three of them are.

Uma's speech thing before 'What's my name' where she mentions Gil and Harry before herself specifically.

They share what is essentially a diary disguised as an 'How to Guide'.

They all are somewhat good at drawing (based on the doodles spread around the book).

The part where Harry says "Sorry, Gil, it's true" when he talks about the lesser crocodile wrestling matches he's seen before talking about Gaston losing to ten foot croc.

The fact that they've gotten into food fights together.

How comfortable they are with one another.

They tell each other a lot of sensitive info in Uma's wicked Book.

They run the crew together.

Gil is the one who found the ball gown that Uma used to make her skirt.

Harry gave Uma a cracked crystal ball for her birthday once that she still has.

Harry once accidentally stole Gil's boots once and was implied to have given them back.

They gossip together.

Gil and Uma both agree that the fact that Harry was comfortable with sleeping on the Jolly Roger when snakes were being used to deal with a rat infestation is weird. And they were both creeped out by the snakes.

They're all dramatic together and find the cauldron born in the cauldron repair shop annoying.

Uma lets Gil have a tab despite being annoyed by how high it has gotten.

Harry and Gil both dislike going to Trolltown but still do because the slopshop is there and Uma likes eating there.

They go to the slop shop often together (at least once a week).

Harry joking about being able to read the slop shop menu to tease Uma and Gil.

Them pranking dragon hall students together.

Uma and Harry both loving the same class—Accelerated Piracy.

The boys teasing Uma about the fact that a hairy troll named Moe (who works at the Slop Shop) has a crush on her and how he even slipped her a note once.

[moved-please-leave-me-alone]

YO WHATS UP IPHONE USERS ITS YA BOY JIMMY BEANSWORTH BACK AT IT AGAIN TEACHING YOU HOW TO PROSPER IN THE DEATH OF STREAMING SERVICES AND DOWNLOD SHOWS YOURSELF TO KEEP ON YOUR PHONE FOREVER AND EVER!!!!

Ok I’m gonna stop being annoying now. Here’s what you’ll need:

-the notes app (comes pre-downloaded, and if you delete it you can just download it again. You NEED it for this tutorial btw)

-A piracy site that lets you download things OR a YouTube video downloaidng wbesite if you’re downloading music/a YouTube show

OK SO FIRST download the thing you want. For this example I’m using Inanimate Insanity. Download each episode, or a compilation, using your preferred piracy site or YouTube downloader site. You should know how to do this, this tutorial isn’t for that. If you don’t know, then just google “YouTube video downloader” or something and find a website like that, or just find a piracy site, or ask someone, or look it up

NEXT. Go into your safari downloads AND MAKE SURE IT DOWNLOADED AS AN MP4 OR AN MPEG4!!!! Or an mp3 if you’re a music person

NEXT, once your video is downloaded click on it and then click on the square with an arrow facing outwards

NEXT, go to the share options, and scroll until you see the “Notes” app.

Click on it. This opens the menu for the notes. It should save to a new note, you can keep it like that or put it in an already existing note. You can name it later.

Now it’s downloaded! Keep going for the rest of the series. NOW FOR THE SECOND PART OF THIS TUTORIAL: ORGANIZATION!

This is entirely optional!

Now, I like to keep each note its own season of a show, and I name the note “[name of show] [season number]”, for instance, here’s the note for season one of Inanimate Insanity!

I like to organize aaaaaall the shows in folders, like this! (“Collections” is just for YouTube compilation versions instead of individual episodes, if that’s your kinda style!) and put it all in one big “shows” folder!

I’ve never been good with explanations or tutorials, so I hope this all made sense. Apologies to the cooler, non-iPhone users, as I use an iPhone and cannot help on your end. If anyone does know then please add onto this! Happy downloading! Death to streaming services!

[jinglebellrockstars]

hello and welcome friends!

time to push the button!

[mean-vampyre]

my ranking of the twilight renaissance content

*god tier*

stephenie is racist

giving the wolf pack the love they deserved

twilight is in fact gay and it belongs to the lesbians

bella is chaotic and being dumb is the source of her power

being a slut for leah and seth clearwater having good and happy lives

team jacob/edward is replaced by team give bella a vampire gf

simping for rosalie

recognizing that the saga soundtrack is the nectar of the gods

piracy ;)

*great tier*

emmett and bella share one brain cell

catherine hardwicke and the blue filter of twilight finally being recognizes as the true queens of the saga

redemption for teen girls who were hated for being teens and girls in the 2000s

esme + pegging

"yeah the dialogue was pretty stupid but that's because they were very stupid and that's nice"

reimagining what twilight could have been if stephenie wasn't a coward

snails, effervescent and fanon Edward is emo king

breaking down was a fever dream

that scene of bella depressed on new moon is /chef kiss/ for depressed people

bella and edward are wlw and mlm solidarity

*good tier*

jacob form new moon deserved better and smeyer is no longer allowed to even think about him

bella's only fault was being too horny

resume rejected from fanon

carlisle is a dilf, but charlie is a dilth (dad i would like to have)

the khaki skirt

virgin boy edward memes

emmet highkey exposing the cullens with his shenanigans

the cullens cannot act like very normal teens and everyone in forks just ignores the weird family

the italian food meme

robert pattinson being everyone’s crush again not because he is hot but because he is unhinged and weird

stanning queen rosalie bullying edward

bella’s empty mind meme

*meh tier*

alice and jasper being straight

esme and carlisle being straight

seriously discussing plot holes

esme's mom energy

the witcher ft twilight

serious twilight fanfiction is back on the menu

breath of the wild posts in the twilight tag

seriously reimaging twilight

*shit tier*

the volturi are suddenly interesting (and hot???? for some people)

trying to justify jasper's racist origin story and being horny for his cowboy costume

anyone (but specially volturi/jasper) x reader romantic drabbles

twilight recast with generic netflix teen actors

thirsting after michael sheen ft the good omens fandom

"X as you mate/imprinting on you" headcanons

twilight having a fandom on tiktok (i’m sorry i’m old and tiktok’s appeal is beyond my understanding)

*******bonus: things i would like to see in the future

victoria’s potential if smeyer wasn’t a misogynistic that made her be defined by the men around her

jessica and angela are def also wlw and girlfriends

rebecca and rachel black?????? where are they???????

ok but the pre-renaissance content of edyth x bella, like,,,, we can have that back

bring back vidding; i know some of you have skills

in conclusion: more lesbians.

[cortexreaver]

damn peace walker is NOT cooperating looks like piracy is back on the menu boys

[fluorescentpipedream]

Dark and Stormy 

“Ugh...” Bill scowled as he set down the tall glass on the polished marble bar-top Baccarat Bar and leaned back in his seat a little. Taking the lime off the side of his glass, he bit into it and held his hand up for the bartender, ordering a jack and coke instead. As the man took the glass away, he turned to see Rob staring at the ornate glass thing ahead of him them, behind the bar itself. After a moment or two, Rob blinked and looked away from the thing, nodding his head to Bill and came over to him. The two talked for a moment before agreeing to move away from the crowded bar and off to one of the small enclaves. They settled into one that had a long couch, where Bill sat and crossed his legs at the knee and crushed blue velvet chairs across from it, which Rob sat in, leaning forward slightly as he tried to get situated in the thing. He seemed a little uncomfortable for a moment or two, while he got settled but when the waitress came over he seemed to relax a bit more. The waitress asked them for their order and Bill shrugged. 

“I’d ask for a dark and stormy but I already know how that’s going to play out..can I get a glass of water to go with my jack and coke?” He raised the glass he’d brought with him from the bar. Rob ordered an old fashioned and Bill smirked. Of course...he was an older man, after all. After a pause, Rob asked the young woman to bring around the cigar box as well. 

“Do you mind?”  Bill shook his head, he didn’t smoke himself but he wasn’t going to tell Rob he couldn’t indulge. When the young woman left them, Bill leaned back on the gold couch and pulled his t-shirt down a little as it rode up his stomach. 

“What’s a dark and stormy?” 

“It’s ginger beer, dark rum and a lime to calm the spice down”

“It sounds awful. How did you come to try that the first time?”

Bill chuckled. Adam had the same reaction the last time he’d seen him.

“It was in Nassau. I’d been on Paradise Island for a book signing and had a few days to kill before heading home. The hotel manager where I was staying originally suggested a little bed and breakfast near Fort Nassau. I’m a history buff so I booked myself a room and ended up staying for a few weeks. Took some tours, saw things I never imagined...spent the better part of a few days just sitting on the beach.”

“Ahh. I was there once for training but didn’t get to see a whole lot. What was so special about that particular B & B?”

“It’s one of the oldest buildings on the island, having been there since the Golden Age of Piracy and according to the man who owns it, it was the brothel where Jack Rackham and Charles Vane once lived. No telling how much of that was true, but there were some convincing historical markers all over the place He actually went with me to the Exuma Cays and had a little adventure with the swimming pigs.” Rob repeated the words and Bill took his phone from his back pocket, pulling up a picture of him and another man in crystal blue waters and surrounded by wild pigs. 

“Well alright then...how did they get there?” 

“I asked the same thing...no one really knows. The myth is related to the golden age of piracy, they swam to an uninhabited island after a shipwreck and eventually took over. No one actually lives in the Cays so it’s pretty much a free area for them. We also got to feed manta rays and see...” He held up a picture of himself holding a starfish. “It was a hell of a day trip actually. After we came back to the B & B, Jack made us some dinner and we sat beside a fire, bare feet in the sand, watching the moon over the water. He’s an odd fellow, very old soul.”

“So were you and him....?”

“No, Jack is -mostly- straight.” Bill laughed and leaned forward, taking a drink before setting his glass back down again. “ But I’d consider him a friend. He seemed kind of lonely, honestly.” Hearing his name, he turned his head slightly and held his hand up to acknowledge a large group of the 30 somethings that were standing near the edge of the bar. Excusing himself, he moved over to the side to talk to them for a moment. 

“They’re all heading to the Crystals, but apparently Joey is splurging at some steak house in the Aria tonight. We’re expected, of course.”

“Hmm..” Rob was looking at his phone and Bill raised an eyebrow as he sat back down again. His own phone beeped at him and he leaned back, taking a small pill case out of his pocket and took one of the white pills inside with his water. As he washed it down with a sip from his drink, Rob had put his phone away again. The waitress came and brought him his cigar, cut it and lit it for him and set down another round of drinks for them as well. After he took a drag, Bill motioned to his phone. 

“Boyfriend?” Bill asked.

“Hmm...I’m not sure what we are really. Mike is....I don’t know”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s strange having someone my sister’s age”

“You need a man”

“Hmm”

“Rob,” Bill sighed and took a moment to choose his next words carefully. The bar was relatively quiet for mid-afternoon and soft jazz played around them. As he looked over Rob he wrinkled his nose. 

“It’s okay to start at this life late. Better late than never”

Rob frowned and took another long drag from the cigar. It was a Opus X Rare Black, one of the newer ones they had and definitely one of the more expensive ones on the menu. Even from where he was sitting, Bill could taste nutmeg and leather and as Rob breathed it in, he was pleasantly surprised by the spicy flavor. 

“What’s that look for?” 

Bill smirked and licked his lips. “I never considered cigars to be sexy before...that smells like leather and chocolate.” Rob laughed and offered it to the other man who turned it down. 

“Tell me about the first time you realized you were gay.” 

Rob looked a little taken aback and Bill narrowed his eyes at him. “You need to be able to say the word, if we’re going to get anywhere. Rob...You’re gay. There’s nothing wrong with that...from what your sister has said, your family isn’t against you, which is lucky. So where’s this coming from?” 

Rob sighed. “The first person I was ever with was my best friend. We spent every waking moment together since we were in Elementary school I think. The first time I really noticed him in that way though....it was back in junior high school. It’s cliche but we went swimming and for some reason seeing him get out of the water floored me. We kissed but we had to keep it a secret and somewhere in the middle of that, I panicked. I enlisted almost immediately after my 18th birthday to try to run from it....I broke his heart. He got married and still lives in Nawlins...” Rob was irritated and blew out a cloud of smoke, exasperatingly adding “I’ve had 3 wives, five kids and one of those sons tells me that he doesn’t feel he was ever a son in the first place. I’m 52 years old and feel like I’ve wasted my life...” 

Bill frowned and scoot forward so he could lay his hand on Rob’s knee, though the other man looked almost nervous when he did so. Seeing his discomfort, Bill took his hand away and leaned back again. 

“That’s part of your issue right now...you’re so ashamed of who you are you aren’t giving yourself a chance to actually figure out who that is.” 

Rob scowled but he knew the other man was right. “The first time I start dating, I do it with a guy who is half my age and more flamboyant than a damn peacock...sometimes. Mike is weird..” 

“He’s young. He’s still trying to figure out what kind of gay he is.” 

“He’s a damn genius, certified.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s got everything figure out.” 

“Honestly, I think I’m a rebound.” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“His ex beat him and tried to get the upper hand on him, Mike told me about it when I got a little rough with him and he coiled up like a snake. Told me he’d bashed the other man on the head with something and left.” 

“He’s upgraded then” 

“He still loves Travis though...”

“That’s his problem, not yours. What kind of man could you see yourself being with?” 

“I’ve never really given it much thought...” 

“Surely you’ve...experimented? The military is about as gay as it gets.” Bill winked at him and the two laughed. 

“I’ve had a few...” 

“Top or bottom?” 

“What?” 

“Are you in control or not?” Bill looked at him and Rob shrugged. “Both...I think I actually like being the one not in control though...” 

“You’re a bottom then...huh I never would have thought, honestly.” 

“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation in the middle of a cigar bar in Las fucking Vegas.” 

“Would you rather have it at the pool? You need to be able to be open about this kind of shit...this is your life. So...what do you want?” 

“Every time I think about it, every single times, I end up falling back into the box that I’m too old to even worry about it anymore.” 

“A lot of young men love the father figure idea, which I’ll never understand. That ‘daddy’ kink just kills me. But that’s their thing. Do you like it?” 

“Eh...there’s something about a younger man on his knees, looking up at me with all the desire in his eyes but honestly I can’t see that turning into much more than a couple of rounds and then us parting ways. Which is the issue I think I have with Mike. I find myself wanting to actually treat him like my son.” 

“So you need someone your own age.” 

“Eh...I’ve never met a lot of old gays.” 

“I’m an old gay, Rob. What do you think, we all dissolve after 35?” 

“You’re not that old though. I’m a senior citizen for fuck’s sake” 

Bill pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned forward, sneering slightly as he spoke. “For fuck’s sake, Rob! You are NOT that old! Sebastian told me how you put him in his place with the parkour/pull up thing...that’s not easy to do. Fuck, you showed up half of the little punks at the gym this morning.” 

Rob looked down and smiled a little, thinking about it. The boys had been younger than Frankie and been making snide comments about the sexy girls in the gym and the old fart that shouldn’t be in there in the first place, he might break his hip. Bill had been doing pull ups beside him, with Rob counting, when one of the boys had started on him again he benched three times what the little pissant had, without even flinching.  

“You know the answer to the question I keep asking you...what do you want?” 

“I want to walk up to my former friends’ house and see if there’s any way he’d ever take me back.” 

“I thought he was married.” 

“His husband died a few months back...” 

“That’s terrible...but maybe having a friend like you coming back into his life would actually be a good thing...The least you can do right now is see where he is in the situation...would he be interested or should you move on. It’s a lot easier than you’re making it. But if the kid isn’t making you happy...there’s no shame in telling him that. Maybe it’ll give him a chance to find out what he really wants to do with his life.”

“Or he’ll go back to an abusive drunk.” 

“There’s no shame in keeping up with him but once you break it off, you aren’t responsible for what he does. You’re not his father...” Bill leaned forward and picked up his drink and with the glass pressed against his bottom lip he said “you’re his fuck buddy.” Rob looked bewildered and the other man laughed into his drink, setting it down again. 

“What about you? All of your friends are -mostly- straight.” Rob fired back at him. 

Bill frowned and dropped his head to one side, pushing his blond hair out of his face when he pulled it up again and sighed. “I’m almost 40 years old and AIDS positive.” Rob knew but still looked shocked at how cavalier he was about it . 

“I’m not ashamed, Rob. I fucked up, shared needles while I was an addict and paid for it...ultimately with my life. But I refuse to let this thing kill me without actually enjoying my life. I was in love once, but he and I turned out to be better friends. Anyone else I’ve been with never really takes hold and honestly...” Bill thought about it for a moment. “I don’t want someone that can make me scream into a pillow or beg me to make him cum. I’ve had some time to think about this and what I want is someone I can talk to, travel with, see the world and just...spend the days with...” He trailed off for a moment. “Those nights on the beach with Jack, that’s what I want. Except with him, I know it’s just friendship and I’m fine with that, though I’d love to have someone that loves me as much as I do him, is as adventurous as I am and will be there to hold my hand when I take my final breath.” 

It was sad when he really thought about it and often tried not to do so, but the biggest thing about him, Bill wasn’t ashamed of where he was in life. After his diagnosis, he’d decided to make the best of it and to do everything he possibly could. He had a bucket list and was slowly ticking things off of it. He’d climbed Everest, been to the Bahamas and was hoping to get to Argentina to go fishing specifically but he wanted to go from there to Chile and see the ruins and before he’d come on this little birthday trip, he’d been training to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Bill wanted to live and do all the things people would tell him he wouldn’t be able to because of his diagnosis. After a moment, he leaned forward and picked up the cigar Rob had been smoking, taking a drag off of it and coughed a few times before setting it down. 

“Good god...I guess I can cross that one off my list too...” 

Rob sat in silence for a moment while he tried to digest most of what Bill had said and had told him about what had happened in his life and how he’d just picked up and turned it into something else. For himself, Rob had wasted most of his life hiding who he really was, and what did he have to show for it? In two days, his little sister was going to be surprised with a wedding, he knew about it, and their parents were going to be there too. He was here early, having told her that he wanted to do something spontaneous and randomly decided to come to Vegas. Mike couldn’t come with him or hadn’t wanted to come or...whatever the reason was and Rob knew Frankie was smart enough she was eventually going to figure out that something was going on. Which is one of the reasons he was spending as much time away from her and her friends.

As  Bill suddenly leaned forward and took his cigar from him, Rob chuckled, though stopped when Bill mentioned his list. Bill took a couple of drinks of water to clear his throat and wiped the corners of his mouth as he tried to breathe without coughing. 

“So...what do you think of this surprise wedding thing? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as totally in love with another person as I have with Sebastian and your sister. I see why he turned me down when I met him.” 

“Considering her his---...wait. You hit on him?” Rob’s eyes widened. 

“Oh yeah...wouldn’t you?” 

“He’s not really my type.” 

“Oh so you do have one....” 

“I have questions about Joey but he’s a good kid. And Jasper....” 

“Yeah....he’s definitely easy to look at.” Rob smiled, in spite of himself and Bill only grinned at him. 

“You old fag...Want to get your hands on that ass, huh?” 

“...”

“I’m teasing. I think he knows honestly..” 

“That makes it worse.” 

“The man’s a professional fighter and spends most of his time in tight shorts and no shirt, he’s got to know there are people that jack off to his pictures.” 

Rob went quiet for a moment before suddenly laughing. “I used to have the issue of Men’s Health in my office...” 

“Oh so did I.” 

After a few minutes of silence their conversation turned to Bill’s next book, or next adventure and if he would ever consider writing an actual travel book...the stuff they don’t tell you when you have an illness and still want to see the world. Rob invited him the New Orleans to go fishing in the spring for red fish. “They’re a trash fish but they’re actually really good if you cook them right...” And then it turned to the two of them planning a trip to Argentina to go fly fishing with a company called Solid Adventures. 

“The idea of a 38lb glacier king salmon is too much to pass up in my short lifetime” Bill laughed as he had the waitress come back to their table, though this time it was for the check. Rob paid this time, and Bill playfully asked him if this was a date as they stood up and walked out of the bar. Sebastian had texted that they were on their way back to get changed for dinner, Joey’s dad was going to have a car take them over in an hour.  

“Do you really think Frankie is going to be surprised by this wedding thing?” 

“I think so. She’ll never go through another one that she’s got to plan, I think it’s better that its getting sprung on her. And as much as I want to hate him, you’re right. No one has ever loved her as much as that man does.”

[dragonasheswrites-blog]

The Heaven We Didn’t Choose, Chapter 19: In Which Piracy is Encouraged

...But no one seems to mind.

First: Chapter 1: In Which a Child Makes a Friend

Previous: Chapter 18: In Which Sans Has a Heart

Next: Chapter 20: The Trouble With Paperwork

Click here for the story overview.

Sans came back to reality feeling disoriented and he automatically tensed.  Pain was what woke him, and for a long moment that was all he could focus on.  Taking a few deep breaths to calm down, he took stock of what was making his bones scream at him.

His injured arm felt like it had been shattered, which sent a pulse of fear through his soul.  A quick glance down confirmed that it was still only fractured, but the sight of the injuries seemed to only increase the pain.  He hissed, trying to find some way to release the tension that wouldn’t bring Boss to his door.

It helped - a little - and he fought to focus on something else instead.  Why was he injured?  Why was he so sore?  Slowly, memories of the fight trickled back.  The kids, the cops, Undyne.  The damn dogs that ran off without a second thought.  The alleyway…

The cat was mewling softly when he rolled over to examine it, looking a bit more wobbly than it had earlier.  Abruptly, he realized that neither he nor the cat had eaten dinner.  From its size, the cat was probably pretty young; babies needed to eat regularly, if he remembered correctly.

He pulled himself upright with a grunt and slipped his jacket on.  It was still damp, and smelled awful, but it was a layer of protection.

The clock in the kitchen confirmed that he’d only been asleep for about two hours.  He was feeling it in every bone of his body.  He felt heavy and light at the same time, and he wondered idly what would happen if he just collapsed.  Would he float, caught between the two odd sensations?  Probably not, his logical mind concluded.  He’d just tip over like an idiot and jostle his already-aching bones.

There was still some canned food in the cupboard, and Sans scanned the labels.  Cats were carnivores, right?  He thought back to the few times he’d encountered Mettaton’s torture assistant, a cynical and depressed cat monster.  A hazy memory of the guy removing the bun and pickles from a burger tickled the back of his skull.  It was unusual that any monster would turn his nose up at food, so the incident had stuck with him.

Hopefully surface cats acted on the same principle.  There was a can of shredded chicken in the back of the cupboard; he grabbed it and, after a bit of quiet shuffling through the shelves, an old clamshell takeout container that Boss had insisted on washing.  He filled one half with water, then carefully made his way back to his room.

The cat was extremely grateful for the water, which Sans found surprising considering it had nearly drowned just a few hours before.  He let it do...whatever it was doing with its tongue (flicking water into its mouth?  It looked inefficient) while he wrangled the canned chicken open one-handed.

Thankfully, the chicken didn’t have any weird flavorings.  He was fairly certain that it wasn’t the healthiest thing to feed a cat anyways, but it was that or starve.  He carefully dished out some smaller pieces onto the empty half of the container and set it beside the water.

Almost immediately, the food was gone.  Sans reluctantly took a few more lumps and plopped them onto the lid.

“That’s all ya get,” he grumbled.  “I’ve gotta eat too.”

The cat responded with a plaintive meow, indicating its displeasure at being cut off.

“What?  I don’t even know how you’re eating all that.  You actually have a real stomach, doncha?  Isn’t it full by now?”

Another meow.

“Shhh.  If ya wake up Boss, we’re both out on our asses.  You feel me?”

He finished up his portion of the chicken quickly, not really tasting it.  His arm was starting to heal as his body converted the food into magic, but it was a slow process.  He considered asking if Tori had some time to look at it; he hadn’t properly talked to her in months, since before he’d started watching Att...her.  The last time he came close to visiting was when he dropped off Frisk’s Christmas gift, and he’d just left that on her front porch.  Who knew what she thought of that.

On second thought, he could probably power through it.

“‘Kay, then.  I’m gonna head back to bed for a few hours.  You good in the box?”

The cat blinked at him.

“...I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

He rolled over carefully, taking the pressure off his injured side, and tried to sleep.

“SANS”

“Whazzit?”  Had he slept at all?

“WAKE UP THIS INSTANT AND TURN YOUR ALARM OFF!  ALSO, DO NOT THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT LAST NIGHT!  BE PREPARED FOR PUNISHMENT WHEN YOU RETURN THIS EVENING!”

Loud footsteps echoed down the hallway, and Sans’s soul sank.  There went his plan of avoiding Boss.

He sat up carefully and turned his alarm off.  He’d gotten so used to waking up at a certain time that he’d been getting up before his alarm even went off lately, which was useful but flat out annoying.  Apparently the night before was enough to throw his sleep schedule off.

A soft cry from the corner of the room brought his attention back to the cat.  Sure enough, it had made some kind of icky sticky mess on his shirts; just as well that they’d be tossed in the wash.

“Ya good in there, bud?”

The cries paused for a moment, then resumed.

“I, uh, don’t speak cat.  ‘M not sure what ya want.  Are ya hungry?  Thristy?  Throw me a bone here.  Heh.”

The cat didn’t speak any language Sans knew, but it apparently recognized when his attention was on it.  Its noises changed in pitch and frequency to the point where Sans half-expected Boss to come storming up the stairs to investigate the racket.

“Okay, okay.  Shhh.  Shhhhhhh.”  He picked it up and ran his phalanges over the impossibly soft fur.  This calmed the creature a little, enough that its noises weren’t quite so high-pitched and distressed.

“I tell ya what.  If you can keep quiet 'til I get out the front door, we can raid the hot dog stand supplies for breakfast.  How’s that sound?”

The cat made a few little mruph sounds that he took as agreement.

Boss had already headed out for the day by the time Sans made his way downstairs, which was helpful.  He had to set the cat down to pull his shoes on, which prompted more crying, but it stopped when he settled it back into his jacket.  He decided to leave the zipper alone; the little critter didn't like being restrained.  The way it was sitting didn’t exactly look comfy to him, but the cat was purring again.  It felt strangely nice against his bones.

The walk to the hot dog stand was worse than usual.  The cold rain had turned to snow sometime in the night, and his usual path along the side of the road was obscured by a light dusting of white.  He could feel the ache in his bones from the fight the night before with every step, and halfway there the cat decided it liked the cold even less than it liked being confined and had retreated further into the jacket.

It was a relief when his stand was set up and he could finally settle his bones onto his stool.  The cat, interested by the fun smells, popped its head out to explore.

CLANK CLANG KA-CLANK CLANG CLANG

...And immediately retreated as far back inside his jacket as it could manage.  Sans peered in the direction of the noise, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  “Heya, GD!  Want some breakfast?”

Greater Dog bounded up, slobber flying everywhere as he panted excitedly.  *YESYESYES,* he barked.  *WANT WARM PUP TREAT FOR BREAKFAST PLEASE.*

“One hot dog for a cool dog, comin’ right up.”  He dressed the ‘dog up the way he knew GD liked it: a few generous slices of cheese, some bacon crumbles, and a bit of steamed mustard greens.  (He’d been testing new ‘healthy’ toppings a year or so back, and while most of them were total flops the dogs really liked the mustard greens.  Since they couldn’t eat most of what he served, he kept it on the menu.)  “There ya go, big guy.  Bone appetite!”

Greater Dog barked a laugh and took the ‘dog with one large prosthetic hand.  *THANKS, FAVORITE BONE BUDDY.  LOOKS GOOD.  GOOD FOOD.  GOOD GOOD GOOD.*

“Glad it suits you.  Hey, don’t forget to pay again, yeah?  I’d give you all the ‘dogs you want for free, but I get in trouble when I don’t come home with cash.”

The dog whined an apology, then disappeared into his suit.  A moment later, he re-emerged and spat a few gold coins onto the counter.

“Thanks, buddy.”

*BONE BUDDY HAPPY?  GREATER DOG HAS BEEN GOOD BOY??*

Sans sighed.  “Yeah, you’ve been a good boy.  C’mere, big guy.”

Greater dog leaned forward, his metallic suit half-splayed across the counter of the hot dog stand.  The wood creaked under his weight, and he adjusted so he wasn’t in danger of collapsing the poor booth.

“Yer a good boy, GD.  A real good boy.”  Skeletal fingers scratched behind the dog’s ears, past the scruff of his neck, and around the sides to that spot up under his chin where he could never seem to reach properly.

Finally, after a small eternity of petting, Greater Dog sat up.  *PATROL, NOW,* he barked, ears drooping.  *NO TIME FOR MORE PETS.  SAD.*

“Hey, you’re filling in for Dogamy on patrol tonight, right?”

*YES.  DOGAMY HOME WITH PUPS.  PUPS GOOD.  PUPS NEED PROTECTION.*

“Cool.  I’ll see you then, ‘kay?  I’ll be at my usual station.”

Greater Dog whined.  *WILL MISS BONE BUDDY.*

“I’ll miss you too, GD.”

The dog licked the hand that had been petting him, then tensed.  *WHAT?  CAT?  BONE FRIEND HAVE CAT?*

“Uh...yeah?”

*CAT GOOD!  CAT FRIENDS FUN!  CAN CHASE!*  He leaned in closer.

The cat tucked inside Sans’s jacked hissed and made another rather poor escape attempt, thwarted by the fact that it didn’t quite know its way around.  Sans huffed at the unusual feeling of something furry clinging to his spine with tiny claws.  “Not this one.  I found it last night.  It’s just a baby, and I’m trying to figure out what to do with it.  It’s, uh…” he looked up at Greater Dog.  The dog’s eyes were bright with excitement, every muscle in his fluffy body tensed with the thrill of the hunt.  None of this was getting through.  “It’s...shy?”

*SHY NOT FUN,* he huffed.  *IS SECRET?*

“...Yeah.  Please don’t tell B...uh, Papyrus.”

*WILL KEEP BONE FRIEND’S SECRET.*  He whined.  *WILL MISS BONE FRIEND.  WILL SEE BONE FRIEND SOON.*  He barked a quick *HELLO, GOOD BYE, PATROL NOW* at something behind him and bounded off, enthusiasm barely waned.  Which was odd; GD didn’t like many people, but Sans couldn’t be bothered to care.

He was about to put his head back down for a much-needed nap when his eye sockets caught the person who’d been standing behind Greater Dog.  Someone he didn’t think he’d see again in...well, ever.  “...Uh…”

“Hi, Mr. Sans!”  Attie called, waving enthusiastically.  “I was going to come get a breakfast hot dog and tell you hello, but I didn’t want to interrupt Mr. Greater Dog’s petting.  He really likes petting, right?”

“Y-yeah, he sure does.”

“I know.  He sometimes lets me pet him outside his armor, but only when he’s security for me and Mommy.  If he has other jobs, he doesn’t let me.”  She pouted a little.

“Hey, uh, where’s yer mom?  Isn’t someone supposed to be watching you now?”  That was the rumor, anyways.  If Frisk had gotten sick again...

“Mmm-hmm.  She’s coming in a minute.  She’s prob’ly talking to somebody.”

Some part of Sans was screaming that he was being creepy, but he couldn’t stop looking at her.  He hadn’t seen her in...gosh, over a month.  44 days, to be exact.  It had been two weeks and five days since Frisk followed him home, and it had been three weeks and five days between that incident and Boss slipping Attie out in the middle of the night.

There was a strange sensation in his throat, a tightness he wasn’t used to.  It didn’t feel like strangulation - like when Boss lifted him by his collar - but more like there was something stuck there, in his vertebrae.  It was uncomfortable.  The sensation distracted him from the prickling in the corners of his eye sockets that he was far too familiar with; he blinked rapidly to avoid embarrassing himself.

“Are you okay, Mr. Sans?”

“Y-yeah.  ‘M fine.”

She bounced on her toes, making her shoes light up.  Those were the ones she’d told him about on one of the first days he’d watched her, he realized.  They did indeed have pink flowers on them, with little lights that flashed from their centers.  He wondered if that was a human invention or if she’d somehow charmed the mad Royal Scientist into making her customized shoes.  He thought about anything he could to distract himself from the fact that he’d remembered something, something small from almost two months ago, and that meant his mind wasn’t falling to pieces just yet.

Attie was dressed in a puffy white jacket with faux fur lining the hood.  On her hands were mittens, knitted in a pattern he recognized; Tori must have been busy since he last saw her.  The edges of her sleeves were stained in browns, greens, and reds.

She looked just like any other little girl.  Nothing about her appearance indicated that she was the daughter of the Ambassador of Monsters, that she had any security presence at all.

He felt it, though.  The glow of Frisk’s protective wards - much stronger now that she was recovered - was apparent in every bounce of her daughter’s feet.  There were few weapons wielded by humans or monsters that could touch someone with that much protection, and anyone stupid enough to try would be in for more than one nasty surprise.

“I don’t think you’re okay,” Attie said.  “You just keep looking at me funny and you haven’t even said ‘hello’ or ‘how are you.’  Are you gonna be a asshole again?”

“Not tryin’ to be.  So, uh, hello, Attie.  How are you?”

“I’m doing real good!  Um, really well, I mean.  How are you, Mr. Sans?”

“I’m, uh, okay.”

“Undie said you were in a big fight last night.  Is that true?”

“Yeah…?  I didn’t know she’d talk to you about that…?”

“She didn’t.  She told my mommy when she stopped in for a quick meeting while she thought I was getting dressed.  Mommy said we could come have breakfast hot dogs and make sure you’re okay, just in case.”

“Uh...cool?  Yeah, I’m in one piece.”

She looked expectantly up at him.

“...Oh, right, hot dogs.  So, uh, what do ya want on yours?”

Attie wanted bacon, cheese, onion, ketchup, mustard, and relish.  Sans handed the ‘dog to her with its toppings balanced precariously, then gave her a small stack of napkins.  “Don’t wanna get your nice jacket all messy.”

“It’s okay.  I can wash it.”

“I’m sure ya can, but you wanna look nice, right?”

“The lessons are finally kicking in, then?”  Asked Frisk from RIGHT behind him.

“Holy shit.”

“Language.”

“Uh...”  He glanced at Attie, who was giggling, then twisted on his stool to get a good look at Frisk.

...A good look was an apt way to put it.  She had a long tan coat on, red buttons in two neat rows down the front.  Her waist was accented by a simple brown belt that twisted into a casual knot on one hip.  The hat and gloves tucked under her arm were dark brown, matching her knee-high boots, but he could see the lines of a familiar pattern on them.  Tori hadn’t waited until Christmas to deliver gifts, apparently.

Slowly, hesitantly, he met her eyes.  She looked a lot better than he remembered, even from the last time he saw her in person.  Maybe it was the light - even the dull, filtered light of the winter sun through the clouds did her more justice than the harsh yellow bulb that lit the dining room in his apartment - but she looked more than ready to take on the world.

It was a far cry from the helpless mess she’d been when he found her, so many weeks before.  And she was completely focused on him in a way that she - or, frankly, anyone else - had never been.  He felt his face starting to turn pink.

Say something, his mind begged.   Come up with something - anything - to keep her from thinking you’re a complete fool.

“What-” No!  Not that!  “-do you want on your hot dog?”

He could feel his voice squeaking a little and resisted the urge to clear a throat he didn’t have.

Frisk smiled at him anyways, and he felt his soul stutter in a way that couldn’t possibly be healthy.  “I haven’t had a hot dog in ages.  Surprise me.”

The challenge in her voice was both clear and terrifying.

ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION!

He gulped and examined his options.  With phalanges that were definitely not shaking, he dipped into the small stash of fresh bakery buns he kept for his best customers, then put a few slices of cheese on it.  That went into the small, warm space behind the hot dog roller.  While it was warming he grabbed a paper plate and a sharp knife and started chopping a pickle spear and some of the baby tomatoes he’d picked up on a whim.  He pulled the bun out once the cheese was melted and put a ‘dog inside, then added bacon crumbles, onion, and his sliced pickles and tomatoes.  A drizzle of yellow mustard completed the masterpiece, and he held it out to Frisk with a flourish that (probably) disguised the slight tremor of his hands.

Attie applauded uselessly through her mittens, her own hot dog mostly gone.  “That looks really yummy!  Mommy, can I have a bite?”

“May I have a bite,” Frisk corrected.

“Sure, but only if I can have a bite of yours!”

She rolled her eyes and took a tentative bite of her hot dog.  Sans watched her chew and swallow, feeling as if quite a bit more than customer satisfaction rode on that simple action.  Finally, she nodded.  “It’s really good, Sans.  Thanks!”

“Yer welcome.”  Relief made him slouch against his counter.

“I never would’ve thought to put fresh tomatoes on a hot dog, but it’s not bad.  What was the inspiration?”

He thought, for a moment, that she was mocking him, but her face showed only sincerity.  It threw him for a loop, and he stuttered for a moment before he found his bearings.  “I, uh, well, I was doin’ a bit of research.  Gotta keep a femur upon the competition and all.  See, ketchup is pretty salty, and a lot of what I have - cheese, bacon, even the hot dogs themselves - is pretty salty too.  The tomatoes give you some flavor without the extra salt and give some texture, too.  Can’t really take credit for the idea, but...well.  Thought I’d give it a shot.”

“It’s brilliant.  You should keep it up.”

His face was definitely turning colors.  Thankfully, Frisk was distracted by Attie wanting a bit of the ‘super-special hot dog’ and he had a moment to compose himself.

Naturally, that was about when his little friend decided to make its presence known once again.

Attie squealed, nearly losing her grip on her hot dog.  “KITTY!”

“No way!” Frisk said looked at Sans, then down at the cat that was clawing its way up his shirt, then back at him.  “You have a kitten?  Since when?”

He tried to pry it off, but the claws were deceptively strong and he didn't want to break anything.  “Since, uh, last night?  It was caught in the rainstorm.  Found it when I was walkin’ home.”

“Can I hold it?”  Attie asked, tugging Sans’s sleeve harshly.  Her protective wards flared-

“Gah!”  Sans pulled his arm away, clutching at his fractured bone, and accidentally banged his bad arm on the edge of the counter.  He froze, cursing himself.  He hadn’t meant to dodge away from her like that; it was just so unnerving that someone would try to touch him (and someone with that much magic on her besides) that he hadn’t tried to simply maneuver away from her.  She hadn't registered as a threat, so she'd gotten closer to him than most people normally did.  He shrunk in on himself, taking his bearings, then remembered that she’d asked a question.  “S-sure.  Just, uh, give me a sec.”

Frisk crouched down so she was eye level with him.  “Sans, are you okay?  Undyne said you’d been injured last night in the confrontation with those humans on the mountain, but she didn’t know the details.  She thought it wasn’t serious since you shrugged it off.   Are you okay?”

Sans checked his HP before responding.  He was down to a single point.  When had he gotten so low?  He felt his breathing pick up, fear of his own mortality overpowering his pride.  “I...I...uh, I…”  He couldn’t seem to force the words out.

He felt the familiar chill of someone else’s magic invading his own, just enough to get a good read on his stats, but despite his embarrassment he allowed it.  More than that, he took a chance and showed his real stats; she'd been sympathetic before, hadn't she?  Across from him, Frisk took a sudden breath.  “Sans.  You need help immediately.  What are you even doing out of the house like that?”

“W-wasn’t that bad e-earlier.  Had somethin’ to eat...g-gosh, early this mornin’ and brought my HP up a f-few points.  I-I’ll be fine.  G-gimme a sec to grab a ‘d-dog.”

“Sans, I’m going to call my mother to take a look at you.”

“No...uh, n-need...”

“Yes, there is a need.  You and her get along fine, right?  She has some healing magic.  Just...please, let me do this.  I’m worried, and Attie’s worried too.”

They had a point.  A ‘dog probably wouldn’t bring his HP up far enough for him to get through his shift, and sentry duty later that night, and whatever Boss had planned.  He let out his breath in a solid woosh and nodded.

Frisk stepped away and started dialing.  Sans deliberately didn’t listen in on her conversation, instead focusing on carefully extracting the cat from his person.  Its nose was twitching but it allowed him to maneuver it into his lap without a whole lot of fuss.

It kept turning its head towards the counter, though.  It definitely knew where the food was.

“Here,” he said, gesturing to Attie.  “D-didn’t ya wanna hold it?”

“Can I?”  she asked in a very small voice.  “I’m really sorry, Mr. Sans.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I didn’t know your arm was hurt.”

He took a deep breath, willing his stutter away.  He wasn’t a babybones anymore, he reminded himself.  “Eh, ‘tsokay kid.  No real harm done.  If you’d meant to hurt me, well.  I’d be dust right now.  You didn’t, though, and ‘m fine, see?  Now help me with this little cat.”

He used his good hand to cup the cat as she lifted it, making sure it wasn’t actively trying to claw her.  It seemed a little upset at the movement, but its protests were more vocal than physical.  After a moment of Attie’s tiny fingernails scratching behind its ears it settled down and started purring again.

“Huh.  It likes you.”

The girl’s smile was smug.  “Of course!  Everybody likes me.”

For most kids, Sans thought, that would be a laughably arrogant statement, but...everyone did seem to like Attie.  She’d survived Boss.  She’d charmed the dogs.  She’d even melted Undyne’s heart a little, and that was a feat worthy of some kind of medal.

Frisk stepped back into his field of vision.  “Mom will be by within a few minutes.  She’s finishing up some paperwork that needs to be done before lunchtime.  Will you be okay until then?”

“Yeah.  Of course.”  It wasn’t like he hadn’t existed on one HP before.  Much as he’d come to regret how he got his LV, he would’ve been dust years ago without it.  He shuddered at the thought.

Frisk apparently mistook that gesture and hunched back down in front of him.  She looked at him for a long moment before narrowing her eyes in DETERMINATION.  “Attie, you can go play.  I’m going to keep an eye on Mr. Sans for a bit.”

The girl looked at her mother, then down at the cat in her arms.  “But...I’m holding his baby kitty!  I can’t go play!”

“Alright.  But no more grabbing, alright?  We’ve talked about this.  It’s one thing when you do it to me or your grandma and grandpa or Undyne, but you have to be careful.”

“Okay.  I said I was sorry.”

“I heard.  Good girl.  Now, Sans, where did you find this kitten?”

Sans explained how he’d found the cat in the alley the night before.  He deliberately ignored the small smile on Frisk’s face, as if she knew something he didn’t.

(He was sure she knew a lot of things he didn’t.)

Thankfully, her only remark was, “Are you even allowed to have pets in your apartment?”

“Eh, yer mom lets some of the dogs stay downstairs.  Why wouldn’t a cat be okay?”

“Uh-huh.  And how did Greater Dog react to your little friend there when we were walking up?”

“Heh, point taken.”

They both watched Attie play with the cat for a few minutes.  When it's meows became too insistent, she handed it to her mother.  “I don’t know what’s wrong,” she pouted.  “I thought it liked me.”

Frisk turned the critter over with deft hands, poking it gently along its stomach.  “He’s probably hungry.  Sans, has he eaten anything since that chicken you gave him last night?”

“Nah.  I was gonna give it - uh, him - something from the stand, but I didn’t get the chance.  Think he’ll eat a ‘dog?”

“It’s worth a shot.  Here - I’ll pay for it.”

“What?  No-”

“Please.  It’s the least I can do.”  She handed him enough to cover three hot dogs with the fixings.  He handed her back the change, but Attie scooped it up instead.

“Can I put the change in the tip jar?” she asked.

Frisk patted her on the cheek.  “Go ahead.  Don’t break anything.”

“Yay!”

Sans chopped up a ‘dog into tiny pieces and scooped it into a paper plate for Frisk, who tried to coax the starving cat to eat something.  He made another for himself and choked it down against the rolling feeling of nausea.

“Did you set that up?”  Frisk asked, gesturing to his tip jar.

“Uh, yeah.  The old coin funnel on top is something I found years ago in the dump.  Can’t remember why I bothered carting it home in the first place, but it’s come in handy now that we’re on the surface.  I, uh, had to fix it up a little to get it to accept g as well as human coins, 'n it doesn't work quite right all the time, but the kids like it.”

They watched Attie drop a pair pennies into a slot at the top of the funnel, the coins passing each other several times before dropping into the clear jar below.

“It’s hard to believe that monsters are able to enjoy things like this now,” Frisk said.  “I remember back in the Underground how, um, tense everyone was.  They’re a lot more...whimsical, I guess, now.”

“Yeah, well, fighting for space and food kinda takes the fun outta ya.  We didn’t really have time for things like this - not in public, anyways.  Heck, I didn’t dare leave a tip jar out back then; someone would’ve come by and stolen it.  Now look at me.  Some days I make more in tips than I do selling ‘dogs.”

She hummed in agreement.  Attie sent a few more coins down the chute, watching them intently.  After a moment, she turned to Sans.  “Why to they go around and around and around like that instead of dropping straight into the jar?”

“It has to do with gravity, angles, and the shape of the funnel.”

She held out a coin.  “Can you show me?”

Frisk frowned and raised a hand to stop her daughter.  “Attie, don’t bother-”

“Eh, it’s fine,” he said.  “Kid’s not hurting anything, and I’ll still be right here if someone wants to buy ‘dogs.”  He pushed himself up.  “Uh, feel free to take a seat if you want.  There’s just the one stool and it might be...a bit short for ya, but…” he gestured awkwardly and turned away.

Attie was a brilliant audience, holding onto every word as he explained the ins and outs of accelerated gravitational motion and centrifugal force.  He was pretty sure most of it flew straight over the seven-year-old’s head, but she didn’t interrupt.

“...Sans?”

He looked up to see someone approaching from the direction of the park.  “Oh.  Hi, Tori.  Thanks for, uh...y’know.”  He shrugged.

“It’s no trouble.  I heard that you were in a fight last night, but not that there were complications.  What seems to be the trouble?”

Frisk sent Attie off to play on the slides (one of the few areas of the playground without a coat of snow) while Sans reluctantly explained his situation.  Tori stood quietly through it all, her eyes occasionally flicking to her adopted daughter.

“I do not approve of healing every small hurt, but I also do not want to send a sentry out injured after what happened last night.  Hold out your arm, please.”

Sans did so, bracing himself.  Healing was an agonizing process at the best of times, and Tori was at least a little bit irritated with him.  He could feel the bone shards grating against each other as the fractures knit.  He hadn’t registered it through the general haze of pain, but there were even cracks in the small bones that comprised his wrist.  Tori’s firm grip on the damaged bones made his vision waver, and he grabbed the counter of the hot dog stand to keep from embarrassing himself.

After what seemed like hours, the pain ebbed and he came to his senses.  He didn’t realize until he extracted his hand from Tori’s that he was shaking from pain and exhaustion; the accelerated healing process was draining his reserves faster than the ‘dog he’d eaten earlier could replenish them.

“Frisk, let him sit,” Tori said, shooing her daughter off the stool.

With great effort, Sans managed to maneuver himself around the back of the hot dog stand and collapsed onto his stool.  He could feel the strain on his spine and hips from the position, but at least he was less likely to tip over in front of his…

...friends?

He decided not to think too much about it.

“If that is all, I shall be off,” Tori said to Frisk.  “Do you need me to watch Atlas this weekend?”

“That would be great, Mom.  We can talk it over this afternoon at the Embassy.”

“Very well.  I shall see you then.”

Tori walked off without saying goodbye to Sans, and he winced.  It was only half because of the little twinges of pain that kept shooting down his spine.  Shifting didn’t help much, either.

“I thought you and Mom got along?”  Frisk asked, looking concerned again.

“We do.  It’s just - ugh! - I haven’t seen her in a few months.”  In hindsight, he probably should have at least called.

“Well, I hope you get back on speaking terms.”

“No kidding.  Don’t want her to bleat me up.”

Frisk snorted.  “That was terrible.”

“I notice your lack of surprise.”

She just smiled.  “Oh, hey, your kitten’s back asleep.  Want him back?”

“Nah, I think he’s comfy.”  Both Frisk and the cat looked comfy, actually.  Realization dawned slowly on him.  (He blamed it on the lack of sleep.)

“Hey, uh, do you know anyone who wants a cat?”

“You’re not going to try to keep him?”

“Nah.  You were right ‘bout the dogs.  And, well, I don’t think Boss is gonna really go for ‘cute and fuzzy.’  He might, but it's 50/50.”

Frisk looked at him, then back to the cat, then back to him.  “Attie...has been bugging me about getting a pet for a while, actually.  She wanted a dog but, well, I’m sure you can see how that might get a tad awkward.”

“No kiddin’.”

“We also spend a lot of time at the Embassy, and when I travel Attie spends time with her grandparents.  A cat on the other hand...well, you don’t have to walk them, for one.  If you’d be willing to stop in every once in a while to feed him while I’m on trips, I don’t see why we couldn’t keep him.  If you’re sure…”

“Yeah, that’d be great!”  Attie had turned out... mostly alright, after all, short bouts of chaos and terror aside.  A cat raised by Frisk would probably wind up ruling the world (or at least the neighborhood), but Sans could think of worse things.

“Okay.  Um, do you want to keep him with you for a bit, or…”

“I, uh, don’t even have food for ‘im.  I made a little bed out of old shirts, but that’s it.  If you don’t mind takin’ ‘im now, go for it.”

She looked at the little cat, stroking gently behind his ears and smiling.  His eyes were closed, and Sans could hear the faint rumbling of that purring thing cats did when they were happy.  He grinned.

“I’d say he’s in good hands.”

“...Yes.  Hopefully.  We’ll see.”  That smile got just a bit wider, though.

Attie stomped up a little while later, shivering.  “It’s too cold to play much,” she said.  “And one of the big kids kept trying to get me to stick my tongue to the monkey bars.”

It took Sans a moment to register why this was even a thing humans would want to do.  That’s right; humans had drippy ‘saliva’ stuff inside their mouths.  Putting her tongue on the unprotected metal of the monkey bars would have probably caused it to freeze and stick.  “You tell that kid off?”

“Yeah.  I told him that if he wanted to do science so bad then he should try it first, because a good scientist doesn’t use other people as test subjects.”

“Ooookay.  I mean, you’re not wrong, but did he do it?”

“No.  I guess he didn’t believe in his hyp...hypoth’s.”

“Hypothesis?”

“Yup!”

Frisk chuckled.  “Fair enough.  Now Attie, I have an important question for you.”

“Okay?”

“Mr. Sans lives in a building with some of the dogs.”

“I know.  I heard them when I was having the long sleepover while you were sick.”

“...Right.  Well, dogs and cats don’t always get along, so Mr. Sans said he’d let us take the kitty home with us.  Would that be alright?”

Attie gasped and turned to Sans.  “Do you really, really mean it?  We can keep your kitty?”

“Sure, kid.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sans!  Thank you a whole, whole, whole bunch!”  She shuffled over and gave him a very soft, very careful hug.

He patted her on the back, feeling awkward under Frisk’s observation.  “Uh, no problem.  I’m sure he’s gonna be happy with you.”

“Does he have a name?”

“Nah.  I guess you ‘n your mom get to name ‘im.”

At Frisk’s nod, Attie began petting the kitten, her brows furrowed.  “You said you found him in water, right, Mr. Sans?”

“Yup.”

“And he’s got a bad eye, like Undie.”

“Sure does.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to name him...Terror Of the Seven Seas!!!  Because he’s a pirate cat.”

Frisk snorted.  “That’s a long name, honey.  Want to come up with something shorter?”

“Nope!  But he can have a nickname if you really want him to.”

“Terror Of the Seven Seas it is, then.”

“Guess you could call ‘im ‘TOSS,’” Sans piped up.  “Short for Terror Of the Seven Seas.  Pirate extraordinaire.”

The little girl hummed.  “That sounds okay.  He can be called TOSS for a nickname.”

Frisk was snickering behind her hand, he knew it.

Suddenly, a loud ringing noise interrupted the peaceful morning.  Frisk dug through her pockets for a moment, then produced a familiar-looking phone.  “Oh...Sans, I’m so sorry, but we’ve got to run.”

“Okay.”  It was expected, he told himself.  Frisk was an ambassador and a busy woman.

“Can we bring Terror of the Seven Seas with us to the embassy?”  Attie asked.

Her mother glanced down nervously.  “Well...just this once, I guess.”

She cheered.  “See ya later, Mr. Sans!”

“See ya, kid,” he replied.

And then they were gone, and his morning seemed all too quiet.

[deer-coder-blog]

Why I Don’t Switch to Windows 10

On twitter, I made a comment about the coercive and deceptive nudge Windows 7 has to push users of 7th-gen processors to upgrade to Windows 10. Because of the limitations of Twitter, I won't be posting a whole lot about it there. Also, I realize that my opinion is a little bit controversial, and I want to avoid getting into some lame chain of commentary arguing with someone on Twitter about something as asinine as your choice of operating system. That said, here are the reasons I won't be upgrading to Windows 10 (or at least, not just yet.)

The software loaded onto Windows 10 computers is tantamount to bloatware for my use. For starters, it seems Microsoft has taken to installing third-party game applications like Candy Crush for you. This is so bizarre. The developer, King, uses a heavyhanded mixture of microtransactions and ads to monetize the game. I can't say I blame them for trying to make a buck, but that does -not- need to be installed on a computer. People will download shit like that if they really want to play. Another big application that I have a gripe with is all the bloatware included in the new "start" system. Microsoft uses this to push their marketing schemes for their softwares like Skype, Office, and X-Box. Windows updates also include ads like these - stuff that you don't necessarily need, like Office, OneDrive, Skype, and Windows Phone are now advertised directly through your compulsory updates.

Oh, yeah, and they are compulsory. Windows 10 removes the capability to control updates, breaking the functionality for many older machines. One of my laptops uses a network card made by a company that only released ethernet-port support for its driver in early August 2017. I used to use Windows 10 and even used the tech preview, but because of Microsoft's continuous updates without regard for specific user issues, I had to roll that laptop back to Win 7 or lose my ethernet capabilities. And apparently, I was far from alone here. Some people lost their machines! Similar compulsory updates can prove to be a nuisance with aggressive shutdown scheduling and popups. While security updates might be important for a push, compiling a big project or completing a slow FTP download take precedence for me. Removing the capability to control which updates are installed on your machine or when has already proven to create massive security risks that are completely unnecessary.

To jump around a bit, I'm also not very trusting of Microsoft with my personal data, including biometrics such as fingerprint and iris scans. The reasoning for this on a personal level dates back to the days of the Technical Preview. While I realize that I opted into sharing my usage data with Microsoft for the purpose of furthering development, the extent to which my data was collected was... Shocking! The operating system collects keyboard input data including keystroke data through many micorosoft apps including Edge browser. Edge is a whole nightmare of its own, and frankly I'm appalled that Microsoft wouldn't be more forthright with the fact that it collects data about absolutely everything, and openly publishes that data, even bragging about it. I mean, how nifty are these facts?

"Over 44.5 billion minutes spent in Microsoft Edge across Windows 10 devices in just the last month" - they track your edge use time.

"Over 82 billion photos viewed within the Windows 10 Photo app" - I hope you're viewing these on OneDrive!

"Gaming continues to grow on Windows 10 – in 2015, gamers spent over 4 billion hours playing PC games on Windows 10" - Microsoft knows what apps - ALL APPS - you're running, for how long, and whether or not they have focus.

Of course, Windows 10 users do consent to these things. But ask them about whether or not that makes them comfortable, and the answer... probably won't surprise you all that much. I mean, I'm not happy about all the hours I spent on e621 in the Edge browser during my stint with the Technical preview. I mean, along with my financial information collected from the store, my contacts and addresses stored in my OneDrive account, and all the media conveniently backed up as a convenience service, Microsoft likely knew my sexual interests better than I did! And on boy did I love that Metro interface, offering me sweet convenience and gloss at a trade-off of giving away what images I look at, for what amount of time, where my cursor hovers, what videos I watch, and even how I procure those pictures and videos. Windows 10 is a privacy nightmare, and if you think you can change some settings in the fragmented, awkward settings and control panel menus, you're mistaken.

Microsoft can use the data they collect to throw you in jail, and they will - PRISM is a program that many tech companies participate in, where authorities can essentially request and receive otherwise private data. Microsoft has a big track record of doing this very thing, and I can see why. It serves their interests to do everything they can to fight software piracy. But before you start talking about how "criminals should pay" or that you have "nothing to hide," please take a look at this article for more information on why that's a load of bullshit.

Another thing I'd like to talk about is the convenient assistant Cortana! Cortana is a service that I have never used myself and never seen others use. Despite that fact, Microsoft is hopeful about its future and continually develops it. This service, aside from occupying 3gb of RAM in my test system, is a persistent service that cannot be stopped through conventional means. It collects and phones home about your searches, application launches, voice data, and more. By using these near-compulsory services, "you grant to Microsoft a worldwide and royalty-free intellectual property license to use Your Content." This data can be sensitive, especially with the introduction of the omnibox that will conveniently open a Bing search with Edge if you want to search the web. This way, not only can Microsoft funnel you into their data collection pipeline, but they can also inject their own curated ads and sponsored content to pad their bottom line! What's more, new systems with Windows 10 S can't change their default browser or search. This has the effect of victimizing the less tech-literate and poorer crowds among us. I'm sorry, but I'm not of the perspective that it's okay to prey off the poor, elderly, and preoccupied simply because it's convenient to do so.

Some things I don't like about Windows 10 is the egregious dishonesty, implied risks, and hush-hush nature about motivation for getting people to upgrade. I'm not one to support the interest of such a profitable corporation if they give no real reason, but a lot of the "reasons" Microsoft has provided for motivation to get users to upgrade to Windows 10 have been... Questionable. For example, Microsoft pushed coercive, obtrusive updates onto users of Windows 7 and Windows 8.1. A "security update" for Windows 7 and 8.1 systems was actually an ad campaign. If you did this upgrade when it was free, you likely remember seeing a popup along the lines of "it's time to upgrade to windows 10" with a button that stated "Upgrade Now!" You may have even been interrupted from your Netflix binge or Counter-Strike competitive game for it. Important stuff! They're just trying to make sure their valued customer doesn't miss out! On my newest computer, I installed Windows 10 and found that a clever Security Update had installed a bit of "useful" deceptive information about support for my Kaby Lake processor! Apparently, Windows 7 does not support this hardware... Or, maybe that was a lie that got them into a lot of trouble? Call me paranoid, but this is just ridiculous. Microsoft has pushed it many steps further now, and asked Intel and AMD to drop support for integrated graphics in anything but Win 7. To account for this, I had to download a hack onto my computer that modified my system files to have the CPU update and operate like any other. It's not about support, it's about forcing people to switch. This "it's time to upgrade" schtick they've been on about is like when you go to a car dealership and get offered a new Mercedes for half the sticker price, and the dealer keeps calling you dumb for not taking the offer because it's an "amazing deal" and you "can't afford to miss this opportunity." You can usually check in in a little bit to find that the person who bought the car later found that it was stolen or flooded beforehand. It all kind of comes back to this term I've been throwing around - coercive. Microsoft doesn't even respect people who disagree and want to keep their operating system. Microsoft will flat out lie about risks to get users to switch. That's not some bitter medicine routine, that's interest-based coercion. And that's why I'm sticking to 7.

Addendum: Why don't you use Linux, Dakota? Simple answer. I would, but I'm addicted to Windows-only games that aren't being developed due to DX12 being a Windows-only thing for now. Maybe I'll switch if dev companies will actively work for it, but they don't seem interested in supporting less than 4% of the remaining systems out there.

[onychaos]

Sonic Mania review (Steam)

Sonic Mania. I want to say that Sonic mania is a great-

Damn it Sega. You had one job. Well, let's ignore the DRM till we get to the end of this post. Going to share my thoughts in this mini like review.

I will say this. If you are "That" person who takes or treats opinions serious. I think you need to go elsewhere. :3 These are my own experience I had with the game.

Sonik the edge-lord, here with this post to share opinion and thoughts :o

Sonic Mania is the new Classic 2D Sonic that was made for 2D fans who been asking for a new Sonic game in 2D

Sonic Mania is a great game classic game that goes back to its roots and finds what made Sonic great.

The Story

After Sonic and Tails leave angel island, They get a strange reading from the island which causes them to return to find 5 Egg robos on the spot while Eggman pulls out an odd gemstone that has the power to warp the space around them.

It's up to Sonic and Tails and Knuckles. Knuckles was forced into this game to help save the day.

Knuckles can't get a break.

Now that you understand the plot. Let's go.

my own experience

Sonic Mania. Waiting 2 whole weeks to play this game and being left in dark. I was thinking "2 weeks, ok, they can fix this bug and make it a fun experience. This will be great"

2 weeks passed. I have never installed a game so fast.

BOOM, it opens. I have a reason to smile again for a Sonic game and the title screen plays

The young sonic fan sees hope in the blue blur

I hit start to see what changes were made to the menu screen, maybe a secret or a-

They added an "Exit" I can close the game by clicking the red "X" But that is fine. I loaded up a new save file and man. 60 FPS S3K intro cutscene (Sonic 3 & Knuckles), Sonic and tails flying back to angel island with a serious look. Sonic ready to KILL.

Seeing the egg robo get upgraded into the hard boiled heavies was great and then we get to play Green hill zone cause that has never been done before.

Green Hill.

Green Hill is just 60 FPS and feels great. There is a great sense of speed. The levels are fast and quick and I mean it's green hill but it's fun. And boy was I happy. Then I got to play "Get Blue spheres"

First stage was fine but the next BS (Blue Spheres) was laggy. It would jump from 60 fps to 15 or go to a slide show. >.> Blue spheres was ruined in the later stages.

I did a livestream with hypersonic7701 and my experience was ruined by the game dropping in fps at random or slowing down to a point where my controls were affected by the slowdown. Hyper did keep me in high spirits when the game was being a laggy mess. If you see this Hyper. thanks. :3

In that first playthrough, my smile and happiness faded away to nothing. But then, when all hope was lost and forgotten. A light was at the end of the tunnel.

A second playthrough, surely, this won't change anything. BUT I was wrong Sonic Mania was a blast. playing it in 60 - 30 FPS and damn, it is great, going at break neck speed brings back joy.

Sonic Mania has 13 zones. 4 new zones and 8 old zones and A true final zone that been remastered. As great as Sonic Mania is, I am let down by the fact that Mania is more like Sonic Generations, in a sense, that old levels come back with a new coat of paint.

Yeah, there are new zones, but they are undermined by the old zones. Mania could have been great if they didn't use old zones as a base. Sonic mania has some nods and references. I don't mind those at all. What bugs me is that Mania is a new game but it feels like an old game.

I just wish mania would have focused on making new levels then bring back old levels over all. If I wanted to play old zones, I would boot and play the old Sonic classics.

Blue spheres have no point, other than to unlock a few things but if you get all gold or silver, you unlock nothing special. I feel like if you want a challenge, Blue Spheres will, for the most part, give you a challenge... Assuming you have not played Sonic 3 to death.

The Special stages are, for the most part, fun to play. they're a mix of Sonic R models and Sonic CD like stages. And they can get crazy and pretty fast. It's not too hard. It is fair. You gain speed by getting spheres which will upgrade your Mach speed. When you get to Mach 3, you are giving up control for speed, which is fair. If you had Speed and control, they would be way too easy.

Sonic Mania has these cute cutscenes where Sonic and Tails has some way of getting to the next zone. By getting warped there or jumping in a pipe or jumping on the flying battery zone. After a few zones. Sonic and Tails just go there. There is no reason of how they got there but they just go to the next zone and it feels odd.

I know about Knuckles and Tails. I don't care for them yet. They don't have what my boy Sonic has. A mid air drop dash. I may do another livestream in the near future when I can run the game without it going 15 FPS.

My final thoughts unless I have more then come back to edit in a few more stuff.

Is Sonic Mania Good? Yes it's a new experience that has a nod to past games and new levels.

Is Sonic Mania worth getting? Get it for PS4, Xbox one, Switch. You can get it for pc BUT I would wait till they fixed a few more bugs and the DRM issue.

Is the Sonic Mania OST good? There is a lot of hits than miss. So, yes, it is good.

Overall, I like Sonic Mania but my first experience was ruined but the Second playthrough saved it, though, it was reading mastaKirby's fanfic made it better.

I feel that Sonic mania uses old games as a base for it. For someone who played the old classics, Mania was a let down for me but it may please you. And most the new levels were ok but 1 stood out and I loved that zone.

About Denuvo DRM. It has some nasty effects on people's PC and hardware and even affecting the game or controls. As I am writing this post, they are trying to fix these issues with a new patch.

But This was Sonik the Edge lord with my thoughts on mania, Sonic Mania. Thanks for reading and stay cool. :3

For more about DRM related stuff or go google why DRM is bad. Go do some research.

See here: https://tommyrefenes.tumblr.com/post/45684087997/apathy-and-refunds-are-more-dangerous-than-piracy