#pining for 6000 years

[az4ael]

me when my crush stares in my direction for 0.5 seconds:

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt I good omens but i've never watched it

i've never seen good omens but it's all over my tumblr dash so this is what I've gathered can someone please confirm if i've got it right

there's a demon named crowley

there's a biblically inaccurate angel named aziraphale but like it's very sexy when the demon calls him 'angel'

the demon and angel have been married for 6000 years and they still keep looking at each other all sappily

Neil Gaiman is somehow involved, I think he's the writer but also he's on tumblr (uh, @neil-gaiman) and people keep questioning if he's real

is neil gaiman like a fandom inside joke why is everyone asking if he's real

there actors are called michael and david and amazon prime thought they were the same

there is a bookstore and crowley is sad

they kiss and it is very nice and desperate and crowley says we could have been us. i have no context for this. someone is going to heaven i think.

there is a god, i'm not sure if they're good or evil though

the demon wears sunglasses

it's a comedy but for some reason everyone's crying after whatever the last season was, are you guys okay

things are on fire

they are very gay

there was a book and at one point they switch bodies

more fire and crowley screaming

they are called ineffable husbands i dont know what that means

they fight crime or they do crime or they fight crime by doing crime i really cannot remember which

gay

[ourtubahero-blog]

[amagnificentobsession]

When you think you’ve kept your love and desire a secret for 6000 years and your new barista outs you after seeing you together twice.

[koboldkind]

I cried at a park yesterday. I'm sure the secret agent reading his newspaper on the bench next to The Bench appreciated it.

[foolishlovers]

“you should be at the club” i should be rewatching good omens, mind your own business

[onlylurkingreadingstuff]

He gets used to that weight and pulls it on like a jacket. Like a placeholder for a real thing.

—Sleight of Hand Ch. 5/ Strange Moons

For @racketghost

Companion piece to Aziraphale in The Book of Ruth/ Strange Moons

Art by @onlylurkingreadingstuff

[goodomensao3tagoftheday]

[3am-brainrot]

i rewatched good omens with some people over discord, this is what came of it

based on this scene:

[yvesnightcall]

daily reminder that aziraphale called crowley 'my dear boy'

[aceofsages]

i’ve seen a lot of posts about the 4-year/6000 years debate, and to me it ultimately boils down to power and fear and freedom.

gabriel and beelzebub are in positions of enormous power. they have never questioned the way hell and heaven do things, they have never seen the consequences of their actions first-hand, they have never had to contemplate how this would affect them/how they would get punished. they aren’t really accountable the way Crowley and Aziraphale are. so they just don’t have the same amount of inhibitions that Crowley and Aziraphale have had built up for 6000 years.

it’s like how a rich person can get away with things a poor person can’t. it’s how kings can get away with doing things that servants can’t.

crowley and aziraphale lived in constant fear of getting caught, getting punished, getting tortured for a single misstep. crowley was tortured for preventing suicide to the point that he was ready to commit it. they’ve never had the freedom to explore anything that simmered between them like beelzebub and gabriel did and could. they did it right under the noses of heaven and hell simply because no one ever thought they would or could because they are accountable to no one (god and satan have better things to do and probably bet on them) and they could even fuck off to Alpha Centauri right in front of Heaven and Hell while Crowley and Aziraphale couldn’t and didn’t do that even when Heaven and Hell were busy

crowley & aziraphale are traumatised and repressed in ways that gabriel and beelzebub have never been, and so even after 6000 years they still miscommunicate and their exactlys are not the same.

[the-bi-fangirl-biatch]

memes are how i cope ok

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

[cottoncandysprite]

Happy to say that I am back in my "every time I remember the ineffable husbands exist I have to sit down for a second" mindset

[no-brain-just-good-omens]

set your calendars guys bc on the 3rd november 2035 it will be 6000 days since good omens season 1 aired. we will celebrate

[livhowlett]

I get why Aziraphale had a bad reaction to the kiss

I have been in Aziraphale position. No, not being in love with my bff and then having to go away for work. I've been on the receiving end of an out of nowhere "romantic kiss".

Let me tell you, IT'S NOT ROMANTIC.

It's a very shocking moment that you are VERY unprepared for. Especially when you're in an emotional state like Aziraphale.

I remember yelling "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?" after my kiss. Mind you it's no "I forgive you" but It was still pretty bad. It was in no way romantic. Mainly confusing and awkward.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to paint Crowley in a bad light. We've seen these two idiots when it comes to romance. They get everything from film and books! In those settings, a grand romantic kiss always works. Of course Crowley is going to try that for his Angel.

But, this isn't one of Crowley's film or Aziraphale books. It's real life. Aziraphale is facing a life changing decision and is very close to losing his closest friend.

Then out of nowhere 'BAM!', his brain is being overwhelmed with anxiety and the sudden kiss of his beloved Demon. An Angel that has just recently had gotten comfortable TOUCHING Crowley casually is now thrusted into a full on kiss without his consent.

And yes, Aziraphale did want Crowley to "do it again" but only after he had time to process what's happened. By then the damage had been done.

I think to fix things in S3, Aziraphale needs to initiate a proper first kiss with Crowley. And I'm talking a PROPER first kiss!

Where they're both casually talking and there's a pause in conversation (hopefully talking properly and telling each other how they really feel!) They're making eye contact, standing closer to each other, quickly glancing down at the others lips. Then with a look, Aziraphale slowly leans into Crowley's space to show that he's ready. In that moment Crowley can close the gap and they can properly kiss.

I don't know about you, but that's the most romantic way to share a first kiss. Not sudden and rushed, but slow and gentle with 6000 years of pining behind it.

That's how you VaVoom!