#pinay mc

[cosmicangst]

tags you're it

personal blathering space ft. mostly psycho-pass, joseimuke, (j)rpgs, and video games, lit, vibes, and some misc romance-adjacent stuff. maybe writing and some art. 

i don’t tag everything but i will tag content/trigger warnings so drop me a line. i also collect tropes/themes:

#god’s not dead; she’s just very tired. catch-all religion, spirituality, and mythology

#they used to shout my name; now they whisper it. prophets, martyrs, and made heroes

#après moi le déluge. witch grandma à la strega nona and/or neighbor who communes with goats and that old dead guy who lives in your cupboard

#those who do and those who don’t. cyberpunk, machines who dreamed themselves into sentience, (non)binary states.

#upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand. decaying empires, beasts slouching towards bethlehem, and crumbling concrete in the backstreets of the city

#tragedy is clean. it’s restful. it’s certain. the ontology of tragedies, loop storytelling, doomed endings, and good old-fashioned classics

#half daughter / half apology. kind of an ‘about me’ tag— mixture of queer-ing, gender-ing with monster theory and being slightly off from that mental illness luv <3

#diaspora blues. soul-weary homesickness when home doesn’t resemble home anymore

#whatever walked there walked alone. ghosts, hauntology, places that are born rather than built

#romance novels are good actually. because they are!!! also featuring romance novels that i’ve recently read

#💌. future love letters for me and you <33333

#growth. revisit and repeat

#provocations. other food for thot

#footnotes. arbitrary to-read list, mostly history or critical theory/activist texts

fandom-specific things:

#secondhand smoke. tsunemori akane and kougami shinya from psycho-pass (this is THE blog essentially)

#hawya. my fic, “here, and where you are”, a shinkane pride and prejudice/regency au

#pp. psycho-pass meta, memes, discussion, etc.

#sims. my long lifespan sims 4 playthrough ft. shinkane and their descendants

#one single thread of gold. artem wing and rosa/mc (named “elle finch” in-game) from tears of themis

#got your six. shepard and garrus vakarian from the mass effect series because no universe exists where one is without the other

#shepard. my mass effect oc, augustine jane shepard. she’s a pinay earthborn sole survivor with a paragade streak.

#if he is not the word of god. god never spoke. tomas ortega and marcus keane from the exorcist

#please picture me in the weeds. five and viktor from the umbrella academy, and the loving oroborous of the apocalypse that is their family.

#there was the poetry. a dot ham and a dot burr from hamilton. yeah i know

other:

#jm. catch-all liveblogs/notes for all my joseimuke playthroughs

#🌙. my book, the moon eaters, which is magical realism set in contemporary los angeles with elements of filipino mythology! really love this novel, hope to write it someday

#for a rainy day., #drafts. prompts, ideas, fic fodder/memes, and works-in-progress

#notes., #fic rec. media reviews, notes, and recs

#weekly reads. my round-up/reviews for what i read the past week

#audio. mostly showtunes, my middle school emo phase, etc. that i downloaded from limewire

#🇵🇭. philippines and filipino diaspora-related art/text

#gif., #edit. non-fic/art related things i’ve made

#reply. answered asks/replies

[talentandskills]

Bonus Footage from Season 3 www.youtube.com/ talentandskills surprise guest from the award winning film Gemini lead #actress Sheena interviewing the newest member of the Talent & Skills' member #comedic #actor / #MC / #host Marghenello. They are at the International #FilmFestival #manhattan Submit your films to www.iffmNewYork.com Media sponsored by the Talent & Skills team. PS. Got #talent #actors #singer #dancer #comedian #models join www.talentandskills.com need talent msg us we are worldwide #Filipino #Pinay #pinoy

[heleneplays]

Your local Mestiza Filipina, 💯 Real Pinay, and Half Pi-and-Half Ger HPHM mcs do an interact

@luvpotion94

[saritaonline]

ALIN, ALIN, ALIN ANG NAIBA? ⬅️Swipe to see the rejected poster 😂 Join us today as we all celebrate for @sethemmanuelle for winning last month’s Love Quest! 👏🏼 8 hours of nonstop great entertainment from 24 talented artists of Sessions Live from all over the world. So honored to be invited to perform in this Love Quest Showcase at 1:10PM for yours truly and 2:50PM for @thesingingwanderer respectively. Thank you Seth! 😍 Grab your free ticket here: sessionslive.com/lovequest/tickets Or You may go to my stream at around 1:30PM: sessionslive.com/saritaonline/live Great lineup today, Oct 19 (all times are in PHT): 7:00 AM Seth Emmanuelle 7:30 AM Marvin Live 7:50 AM Poterina 8:10 AM Jean McKinney 8:30 AM JD 8:50 AM EmceeART 9:10 AM Marcelo 9:30 AM Dina 9:50 AM Pinay Sha 10:10 AM Connie Mc Burney 10:30 AM CandyVOX 10:50 AM Jhen Vengazo 11:10 AM Rain 11:30 AM Princess Virtudazo 11:50 AM SimplyJC 12:10 PM Markee Sardon 12:30 PM Mafe Flores 12:50 PM ARVY 1:10 PM Sarita ⬅️⬅️⬅️ 1:30 PM RamJayBae 1:50 PM Dae 2:10 PM Zara Bratinella 2:30 PM David Mercado 2:50 PM Mar Silverio ⬅️⬅️⬅️ See you there! 😍 #teamblueang #goodvibeswithsarita #sessionslive #lovequestshowcase #sessionsliveartist https://www.instagram.com/p/CVLV-r8hJgY/?utm_medium=tumblr

[the-voice-of-hell]

Rent is Theft, part 21

Read from the beginning here, read the previous chapter here.  Note:  My MC is a Filipina trans woman and I am not.  If you have notes on that or anything else, hit me up.

                                                        ***

      When I woke the next day, head aching as bad as I expected, but there was a sort of pulling sensation I didn’t quite get.  I pawed at my temples.  There was a fresh wrap on my head that I did not remember putting there.  Leimomi must have done it in my sleep, and maybe a bit tightly.  I adjusted it.

      Then I realized that meant she would have had at least a few moments alone with that fucking bitch Reverse Courtney.  I was very alarmed by that.  What if she made it seem like that was my inner thoughts, that her hateful trash was my real feelings?  I couldn’t stand that.

      Leimomi was nowhere to be seen.  I stood up too quick, grabbed my head, and staggered around a moment.  She appeared in the doorway, all clean and wrapped up herself, the daylight lining her body.  She looked at me in concern, and I searched her face for a hint of Reverse Courtney trauma.

      “Did my stupid-ass head mouth say anything mean to you when I was asleep?”

      “I think so, but I don’t remember.  I only had it out for a moment, and I covered it.  I was real tired.”  She came into the darkness with me and held me in her arms.  “Are you OK?”

      I closed my eyes.  “Real hungover, but really good too.”  I lolled my head at unpleasant memories.  “I’m gonna try to forget my apartment exists for a few more hours, heh.”

      She kissed me and it turned into a little makeout session, right there.  I loved wrapping her in my scrawny arms, rubbing her all over.  I hoped it didn’t feel too much like being flogged with skeleton bones.

      Leimomi got me a bottle of water and then joined me on her bed.  I was still in the bathrobe from the other night, she was in capri leggings and a t-shirt.  We stayed on top of the blankets.

      “Thanks for helping me clean up, baby.  We gotta figure out a cleaner way to do all that.  Or just set my apartment on fire when we’re done with everybody, heh.”

      “It’s OK, Courtney.”  She ran a palm from my chest down to my belly, parting the robe.  “We’re both nice and clean.  You wanna fool around?”

      “Maybe just a little.  I dunno if I can go all the way with this headache.”

      “Aww.”  She pulled her hand back.

      “In for a penny, in for a pound?”

      “What?”

      “You don’t wanna fool around a little, gotta have a big climax or it isn’t worth your time?”

      “I dunno.  Why just do sex stuff a little?  That would be frustrating.”

      “Sometimes it can feel nice.”  I rolled onto my side to better look her in the face.  “Like, I’d love to kiss your *redacted* but I don’t think I’ve got the stamina to finish what I start.  But you might still kinda like it, even if it’s frustrating?  I know I’d like it.”  I made a grabby hand gesture in the air to underscore my point.  Give me those things, please.

      “Mm, OK, but if I get lady blue balls, I’m gonna be mad at you.”  She whipped off her shirt.

      *sex scene redacted for tumblr*

      Maybe we both fell asleep after that, or she just let me sleep for a bit, until we were roused by a knock at the door.

      I wrapped myself up to answer it, because Leimomi still had to wrestle her bra back on.

      “Marcie, hey.  Sorry I can’t invite you in just now.  You wanted to see Momi?”

      “I just wanted to see you, thank you for helping Mikey!”

      “Hey,” he said.  The daylight in the apartment had me a bit blind for looking into the hall, with its weak electric lights.  I hadn’t noticed him lurking behind her.

      “Mike, hey.  Feeling better?  Or worse?”

      “I’ll be alright.  Being green was kinda like being high, so I’m not too hot right now, but Marce is takin’ care of me.  She’s a saint.”

      “Well great.  I love you guys.  Have a nice one,” I said.

      “Love you too, girl!”

      I came back in, feeling nice, despite the low thunder in my head, and lay down on the bed again.  “Mike seems great.  It’ll be good to get done with this shit, but I just can’t do it again tonight.”  I laid a paw on her arm.

      “I figured.  That was rough.”

      “I know we can’t afford to wait for the next full moon.  Maybe we’ll just take one night off and go back to it.  I can try to come up with different spells for all our problems.”

      “Would you kick me in the stomach like Mike?”

      “Never.  Might have to shave your pretty hair, though.  I hope not.”

      She had a moment of alarm at the prospect but then shook it off.  “That’s silly.  I’ll be glad to go bald for a while to get rid of this problem.”  Then she looked sharply at me.  “But will you love me if I’m bald?”

      I grinned.  “Hell yes.”

      “But why?  That would be so ugly.”

      “No way, baby.  You’re real cute.  I love your hair but I haven’t seen it in a while, y’know?  I’m still coming around.”

      “If you say so.”

      “I do.”  I was about to say it would make her look more gay, and I’d love that too, but I knew that conversation would tread into territory where I’d find out whether she really thinks of me as a woman, and it killed my mood.

      “What do you like about me?  Is it just my big *******?”  She was looking coy, which is great, because I couldn’t handle her self esteem problems right then - not as well as she deserved.

      “Yes, hahaha.”  I squeezed * ***** maniacally and she pushed me back until my head squished into the pillow, threatening to lose the headwrap.  We settled down and I grabbed her hand.  “Seriously, I love everything about you.”

      “You don’t know everything about me.”

      “You aren’t who you used to be.  You’re who you are right now, and I know who that is.  You’re my girlfriend.”

      “I guess that’s true.”  She put an arm behind my head and I snuggled into place.

      “I was thinking about it.  I don’t know if I ever dated an Islander before.”

      She smiled.  “Just how many people did you date, Courtney?”

      I gripped her around the waist and shook her around.  “Grrr!”  I flopped back down beside her.  It was too much effort.  “You win, I’m a huge slut.  Huge hungover slutty slut.”

      “I love you, slut.”

      “I love you too, honey.”  I relaxed again.  “Anyway, I just mention that Islander thing, because it feels significant.  Like, I’ve never dated anybody that looks like my people.  You don’t look like the average Pinay, but if you flipped the islands probably a few Leimomi lookalikes would fall out.”

      “That’s weird.  Why you say that?”

      “I can imagine a different life, where we were from the same place.  Same neighborhood.  Where we grew up together.”

      “Oh no, you don’t wanna be in Pearl City with my family.”

      “That’s not what I mean.”  I touched her face.  “Get with me on this.  Just hear me out.”

      “OK...”

      “We’re in some kinda place that never existed.  Pilipwaii.  It’s a nice island, low key people working hard and not so many hustlers and problems.”

      “Pilipwaii?  What’s it look like?”

      “There’s a mountain but it isn’t an active volcano, pretty worn down.  The reefs around the island got so big they shelter it from storms.  The city is on a little plane, growing stuff like cane, bamboo, coconuts, bananas, mangos.  The only school is a catholic school, so we grew up being chased around by nuns with rulers.”

      “Why mean nuns?  You want the story to be nice.”

      “I want it to be believable.  So trouble in paradise, baby.  Anyway, you and me are schoolgirls together, best friends.”

      “How could I be friends with you?  You’re smart and--”

      “There aren’t so many kids in a small town.  Everybody knows everybody, and we just like each other, right?  I hope you can find that believable, because you’re my girlfriend.”

      “I’m your girlfriend in the story?”

      “Not yet.  Listen.”

      “Hmm.”

      “We’re just friends.  Best friends.  It can happen all kinds of ways.  You know, I’ve always had friends that are different from me.  Maybe I got hurt and you helped me out, or I helped you with your homework, or you were sad and I was nice to you one time.  And it stuck, we stuck together.  Best friends, in Pilipwaii.”

      “At the school with the mean nuns.”

      “That’s right.  So one day, I’m in love with this boy, and he’s mean to me.  He tricks me and then says he doesn’t like me in front of some other girls and everybody laughs and stuff.”

      “This is too sad.  Did the nuns laugh too?”

      “They did.”

      “I’ll kill ’em.”

      “It’s OK.  So I run home, I’m all sad and it’s terrible.  You find me and help me feel better, hug me and say nice things.”

      “I love you,” she said, and gave me a little squeeze.

      “That’s right.  Something like that.  We’re there, say, in a gazebo.  Big blue dragonflies are flying by.  It’s hot but there’s a cold breeze blowing off the ocean.  We’re schoolgirls, best friends, and you hold me and say, Hugo is a stupid ugly boy and I deserve better, and you love me and stuff.”

      “I hope the nuns don’t hear that.”

      “Well, you just mean, you love me like a friend, right?  We say that stuff, like friends.  But this time I’m looking you in the eye and I realize, maybe we could be more than friends.  But it’s a little island, so nobody ever told us that being gay is an option, right?”

      “This story is weird, Courtney.”

      “Is it OK?”  I searched her face.  She nodded in approval and I resumed.  “Well right, so you and me, we’re there, we’re schoolgirls, and we never heard the word lesbian in our lives, but I’m still super into you.  And then I kiss you, and you start to get it.”

      “Whoa.”  She looked at me, then away to the ceiling, and back again, thinking about it all.

      “Is that a good whoa or a bad whoa?”

      “Wait.  Now I know why people think schoolgirl skirts are sexy.”

      “Hehehe, nooo, I’m not trying to be a pervert.  I’m just saying, for all it matters, we could love each other any kinda way.  Like, it doesn’t matter how we got here.  Let’s just say we came from Pilipwaii.”

      “OK, but tell me about our skirts.  Are they kinda short?”

      “No, they’re long.  It’s a little island.  Very conservative.  But our shirts have short sleeves and we have little bow ties.”

      “That’s cute.  And you kissed me, and I start to get it, like, hey, we could love each other.  No Hugo.”

      “Yeah.  So we kiss and it’s kinda sloppy and stupid because we don’t know what we’re doing or know what to do.”

      “And I start to figure it out,” Leimomi said, “like what I wanna do.”  She reached inside my bathrobe, *redacted*

      “Oh no, I gasp!  I shy away.  It’s all so fast.  What are we doing?  Have we gone crazy?”

      “Whut.”

      “It’s part of the bit.  Like, there’s a push and pull.  Will we or won’t we?”

      “Oh.  But we will, right?”

      “You fucking know we will, baby.”  I kissed her savagely.  “But right now,” I panted a little, “I’m terrified of this forbidden love.”

      “I’m so sad, I can’t handle it.  I guess I’ll cry.”

      “Don’t cry, Leimomi.  I come back to you, take your hands.  What is this?  What are we doing?  We’re both girls.  It isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

      “But why?  Nobody is around, we can do whatever we want.  I want to love you so much, Courtney.”

      “It works, I’m like, oh shit, I can’t handle it anymore.  I open my shirt up.”

      “Heeheehee, yeah, now you’re talking.  I open my shirt up too.”

      *redacted*

      “It’s time for freedom.  Young ladies inventing lesbianism for the first time in the Universe, since all the other times it happened for other girls.”

      She pulled off her t-shirt again.  “Cool.”

      I unfastened her bra and *redacted sexy / emotional content*

      Were we being romantic or dirty?  Both by turns, but those turns proved awkward to navigate.

      We *redacted* and talked dirty and sweet until we both *redacted*  She’d already worn herself out some that morning, and I was surprised she was able to go again like that.  *redacted*

      In the afterglow, she didn’t jump up or freak out, which was great.  And I hadn’t gone down on her, so there was no question about kissing afterward.  We snuggled up, just the thin material of my bathrobe between us to reduce sweat.  I was tempted to *redacted* but I resisted the urge to avoid coming off like a total freak.

                                                        ***

      There was another knock at the door.  I rolled my eyes, put my robe on, and answered it.

      “Hey Patrick.  Were you looking for me?  Does Perry need help with something?”

      “Kinda.  I was wonderin’, how do we say who gets ta go next?  I’d like to go, get it done.”

      “My priority has been whoever is in the most danger of ratting us out, getting us in trouble.  You have something like that going on?”

      “Naw, it’s just somethin’ personal, bothers me a lot.”

      “Well I think we all need some rest tonight so not now, but maybe tomorrow we see about some kind of plan?  I don’t think anyone else seems likely to be a problem.  Like if Olivia’s head pops up, she can join a circus and make some real money.”

      “Thanks, Courtney, you’re a doll.”  He reached out to shake hands.

      My hands were both behind the door, only my head poking out.  “Ah, hands are full.  Thanks, Patrick.”

      “See ya later!”  He smiled and walked away.

      I looked down the hall after him.  His walk was a little awkward, but was that a clue?  What was going on under his clothes?  Marcie had two holes in her upper chest, I’d found, little squares that puffed out smoke.  Most of the time she could keep it down, but several times a day she had to open the covers to let it out, or she’d feel a burning in her lungs and throat.  Never did hear what Patrick and Perry had going on.

      I pushed the door closed with the backs of my arms, avoiding getting my wet hands on everything.  But that meant my hands were close to my face when she wasn’t looking.  I avoided touching my face, but I took a deep inhale, and one little lick of a finger.  It was awesome.  Sue me.

      I washed my hands and went back to her, sitting on the edge of the bed.  I was going to just stay another moment, but couldn’t resist laying down again.  This time I was on my belly, face propped up with one arm, the other draped over my lovin’ lady.

      “I was thinking about the haircut.  I think it would be real cute.  You could grow it out again later, but for now, it’s fun to play with a different look.”

      “Huh.  That’s weird.  Is it because you’re a grunger?”

      “Hehe, maybe.  But more than that, it’s like...  I know you’re bisexual like me, but you’re in lesbian love now, baby.  It might be fun to see you play the part.  Girls like me have to be girled up all the time just to have a chance of people treating us like we want.  But you?  You could get big flannel shirts and tank tops and stuff.”

      “Whaaat?”  She crinkled her forehead all to Hell like I was trying to teach her quantum mechanics.  “Dress like a lesbian?  Like, butch?”

      “I know, you aren’t really a butch.  You’re a sweet lil’ girly babe.  But it can be fun to play a different style, y’know?  What do you think?”

      “I never thought...  I guess I could.  But how would people look at me?  What would they be like?”

      “Some people might be mean.  A lot of people will be pretty nice.  And in this town?  Ladies will be on your jock, like twenty-five deep at all times.  You’ll have to keep them off you with a baseball bat.  Probably some weird fellas too.”

      “You’re lying.  No way that’s true.  Why would they?”

      “Lesbians like butches, but most of them are not.  It means you’d be a precious rarity.  Plus you’re so cute and tall and strong, you’d kill them dead.  They’d have trouble walking because their legs would go all wobbly around you.  It would be hilarious.”

      “Oh my goodness.”  She touched her face, which was hot and pink.

      I kissed her cheek to steal a little of that heat.  It was mine.  I put it there, after all.  “My cutie.”

      She shook off the embarrassment.  “You just wanna make the lesbians jealous.  That’s mean.”

      “I know.  I’m horrible.  But we gotta eat.  I’ll make us something.”

      I sprang out of bed and put on the clothes I’d brought over the previous night.  Leimomi dressed too, still lost in thought at the prospect of a makeover.  She followed me out and sat down across the kitchenette island from me, on one of the tall stools.  I got to work on some spam, macaroni, and cheese.  I found the sauce from the packets was less gross with some milk and spices added, and randomly found part of a red pepper to mix in.

      “You didn’t think much about being a lesbian before, huh.  What do you think now?  Gonna get those intertwined Venus symbols tattooed?  Doc Martens?”

      “I dunno.  If you think it’s a good idea.”

      “Again this power I have.  I feel like an evil hypnotist from Scooby-Doo.”

      “I just don’t care what I look like, I guess.  Like, you know why.”

      “Sorry, babe.  But yeah, I think it’ll be real fun to get you dyke clothes, at least to wear ’til your hair grows back.”

      “You’re a weird weirdo, but you’re my girlfriend, so I gotta do what you say.”

      “Lovers are supposed to be partners, equals.  If you gotta do what I say, then I gotta do what you say.  Any requests?,” I said, gesturing to the food I was making.

      “Naw.  You do it pretty good.”

      “Just ‘pretty good’?  Sounds like there’s room for improvement.  You don’t have to know how to cook to know how to judge food.  Just think, would I like this better if we did it like that?  I’ve made this for you before.  Didn’t do the pepper last time, but I had green onion and cayenne for garnish.  What did you think?  Was that alright?”

      “Green onion, is that the little green rings?”

      “The way I cut it that time, yeah.”

      “I didn’t mind those, but I didn’t like them either.”

      “That’s OK, I don’t have any this time.  How’d you like the texture?  Like, how it felt in your mouth.”

      “It was OK.”

      “Coulda been better?”

      “I dunno.”

      “Don’t make me follow through on that clown thing.”

      “Hehe.  OK, so what do you want?”

      “Was it too creamy, too thick, too sticky, too rich, too thin?  Do you prefer a different kind of sauce with macaroni?  If it’s really OK, then it’s OK.  But if it’s not OK and you’re pretending just to be nice, I’m gonna make us have clown sex.”

      “Is that a promise?”

      “Alright, so now I see how it is.  You really don’t care about macaroni sauce, and you might be into clown sex.  These are important things to know, for our future together.  I will take these mental notes and never reverse or overwrite them with contravening information.  No matter how much you protest, from now on, I will know that you want to look like a clown when we fuck.”

      “Don’t make it so complicated.”

      “So like, a simple clown outfit, nothing too fancy.  A few polka dots, big shoes, a red nose?”

      “Yeah.  But I thought you wanted me to dress like a butch dyke.”

      “You know the ‘D’ word now?  You’ll be ready for Pride in no time.  Hm...  I gotta figure out where to get combat boots with novelty foot length.”

      “A butch clown?  I don’t think the lesbians would be jealous of you anymore.”

      “Damn!  This is too complicated.  Maybe you were better prepared to go lesbo than I was.”

      “Heehee.”  She got shy.

      “Hey, you’re thinking about something and not telling me.”  The water was up to a boil so I turned the heat down to seven and poured in the pasta.

      “We both weren’t prepared.  We don’t have a double dildo.”

      I stood up straight in shock, though by then I should have been getting used to the idea of her knowing more about sex, in her own way.  “What.  What do you know about double dildos, girl?”

      “Well, usually lesbians use a double dildo, right?  Like one side goes in my pussy, and, uh...”

      “Best place for me to put my end is the back door.  But I’m sure plenty of lesbians don’t have double dildos.  Where did you hear about that?”

      “I just saw a porno once.  Some ladies used a double dildo.  Guess I thought...”

      “We could use a double dildo, if you want.  Sounds fun.”  I stirred the macaroni, had to bust some apart as they had started to clump in the freshly released flour goo.

      “Heehee.”  She played with her hands.

      “What else do you know about lesbian stuff?”

      “Ya know, I never thought about it, but the pornos I saw are different from the lesbians I see around town.  Like, in the pornos they have pretty hair and makeup, wear skirts and heels and stuff.”

      “Sharp.  That’s right.  Most of those pornos are made for straight dudes.  Might look different if ladies made ’em.”

      “Why don’t ladies make ’em?”

      “I dunno, but I could take a few guesses.  You wanna be like a real life lesbian, like the ones on the streets, or would you rather be a porno lesbian, like in the movies?”

      “We get a choice?”

      “Always.”

      “You are like a porno lesbian.”

      “Guess I made my choice.  How about you?”

      “If I have short hair, I’ll hafta be like a real life lesbian.”

      “Or you could mix it up.  That’s what they call ‘queer’.”

      “So if I have short hair, but I still wear makeup and stuff, I am queer, but if I have short hair and I wear a flannel shirt, I am butch?”

      “That’s close enough to right.”

      “I dunno.  I don’t like to be wrong, to say the wrong thing.  Maybe I won’t talk about this stuff with real life lesbians.”

      “Just porno lesbians like me, right?”

      “Umm, maybe just you.  Not another porno lesbian.”  She considered that.  “Wait, are there porno lesbians in real life, aside from you?”

      “Not a lot of us, and I’m sure most of us wouldn’t want to be called that.  They also say ‘lipstick lesbian’ for ladies that stay lady-like, though most of them are still gonna do things their own funny way.  I kinda like that porno lesbian thing for myself, because I’m not gonna dress like the singer from 4 Non Blondes.”

      “I don’t get that one.  You lost me again.”

      “Hahahaha, you’re in for a treat.  I’m gonna look that up for you when we’re done eating.”  I served up the food.

                                                        ***

   Read next chapter here.

[felikcs]

Secret Santa Time!!

I had the great luck and pleasure to participate in @thearcanasecretsanta event this year, and I santa’d forrrr..... @cutie-pinay !!!! This is the first secret santa I’ve EVER participated in, because, admittedly, I’m not much of an artist/writer! But this one DID include playlists, and I DO love music, so here we are!! Erenie’s apprentice is Meera, who’s basically the sweetest? The best?? The fluffiest???? If this event did NOTHING else, it at least introduced me to another A+ mc in this fandom that everyone should know about. 

Playlists + some background info below the cut!!

Playlist 1 - Meera x Asra

Meera seems like such a steady presence, with a good head on her shoulders & a strong sense of kindness. I kind of imagine it was really difficult for Asra when she lost her memories? For a lot of reasons, but one of them being that suddenly HE had to be the steady presence, the one taking care of her & her shop, at least for a time. Their story, to me, starts off as a lot of missed connections? It’s not my place to say how involved they were before the memory loss, but it seems clear they’re both pining away. And I imagine their relationship coming to a really strong point, of acceptance and understanding and laughing about the missed connections of their past, because it’s always been these two. Why were they even worried? This playlist starts quiet, hesitant, distant, but doesn’t stay that way for long.  

Playlist 2 - Meera x Julian

Good LORD Julian needs someone like Meera. Frankly we all need someone like Meera. But she has the potential to be such a stabilizing presence in his life. And in turn, he can help her be more comfortable shaking things up! Meera has worked so hard for so long to find her place, her home, and Julian wouldn’t want to change that? But it’s a good skill, to be able to find comfort & confidence wherever you are, and I think Julian could help her with that. The music on this playlist is kind of eclectic? Starting off modern, somber, maybe a little intense, and ending in a sort of easy, excitable love. 

Anyway!! Erenie, it was my INCREDIBLE honor to be your secret santa this year!! It was totally meant to be, since I had started following you just DAYS before the secret santa assignments were handed out!

I still have some Meera doodles I’d love to show you in the future (and a couple fic ideas floating in my head???), but I decided to leave them off the official gift because, to be 100% honest, I’m not super proud of them!! Whenever I post them, I will definitely tag you. :D But I LOVE this girl, and it’s been so wonderful to learn about her and find music that makes me think of her. Merry Christmas!!

[dreamyarcana]

Devoted!MC x Asra

OKAY SO

today, I was scrolling through @rosethearcanist‘s blog (god bless, she/they/he has a s uper great blog and they write asra angst and i was like sign me up!!!!! anyways) and I saw some art work done by @cutie-pinay and died inside.

anyways, so that kind of inspired me to rework this fic idea I had before the update where MC finds out about the memory. And then, the update came out, and I was thinking, wow the canon MC is kind chill about the whole memory shibang, that would not be me at all lmao. As a result, this fic takes places in the actual canon, but is kind of how I would’ve reacted to the entire situation. The first quote is something actually said, but the rest should be my fic after that.

Of course, most of my fics have a happy ending because I cannot not have a happy ending lol, but a lot of it’s super angsty kind of so...all aboard the angst train??

also this fic is hot off the press in the manner where I just finished it and have barely edited it. And, unlike the actual canon story, I don’t really focus on the scenery. time to go create more headcanons and go find quotes for an incorrect blog quote i run in a different fandom lol XD enjoy!

“Ahhh, I recognize that look, (Y/N). Am I in trouble?” Despite the seriousness of the situation and the question, his expression softened and his eyes sparkled with curiosity. I bit my lip, not knowing how to address the questions that were bubbling in my mind like acid.

“Asra,” I began uncertainty, fiddling with hair nervously. “How long have we known each other?”

Asra looked thoughtful for a few lengthy moments. “Honestly, I don’t remember. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that there’s...there’s this tree here with my named carved in it. And I also encountered...a memory earlier...it was one where you and I, you said something about me being radiant in everything and we acted like we were...in love together...and there was one with you and Nadia together, talking...Master,, why have you been lying to me?” Tears formed in my eyes and I desperately wiped them away, hoping he wouldn’t see.

“(Y/N)...”

“Master, please tell me why. It’s...hard not knowing. The headaches, the loss of memory. I’m not that old.” I half chuckled, trying to lighten my monologue. Asra’s facial expression was a mix of emotions - fear, anger, sadness, regret. Yet his maeve eyes only showed me one emotion.

“(Y/N), I think it’s better if we talked if we talked together in person.” he began cautiously.

“What do you mean, together in person?!” I interrupted in half rage, half defiance. I couldn’t believe this! Weren’t we face to face now? He couldn’t just leave me now here to wonder for another half a century before he would return. Without responding, Asra held out his hand to me.

“Take my hand.” he said simply. My mouth sort of gaped open and I quickly shut it. Doubt must’ve been on face because he followed up with, “Trust me, I have faith you can do this.” Carefully, I took it, and was pulled forward into the shadows.

Asra’s hands tangled in my hair as he pulled my torso close to his body; I couldn’t help blush at the limited proximity of space between us. I leaned in, inhaling his sweet scent deeply. No matter how angry I was, no matter what Asra did, he still was my center and my home. Deja vu was pumped in my brain. These feelings...were they the feelings I felt before? It seemed like it, but no matter how much I racked my brain, nothing came to mind. I glanced around at the lush scenery; the sky was a beautiful mix of hues and the plants were odd, everchanging.

“Master...”

“(Y/N), please...don't call me that. You've long outgrown that, you're so gifted and talented.”

“But... you did train me, so you are my master,” I answered.

“I only gave you back what was yours, (Y/N).” His eyes were serious.

“Asra...why do I feel a pull towards you...did we love each other...did I stop loving you...?” I asked softly, hurt and sadness in my own eyes. I took a step back, letting go of all of Asra, except for his hands.

“(Y/N), I...” For once he's speechless. His expression shifts, and I already know the answer.

“You don’t have to answer. I know. And... this hurts, Asra, it hurts so much I can’t even to begin to tell you.” I could feel the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. I blinked quickly, and one of them fell like rain; quickly, I brushed it away. Asra started to speak but I held up my hand, staring at the floor. “But, I’ve always felt so strongly about you. Whenever your name was spoken, my ears always seem to hear it and my head would snap up. Your voice warms my heart whenever you speak and your magic feels like home to me, even when I’m nowhere near home.” I glanced up finally to see the face of the man I loved so much. “I love you, Asra. Even I didn’t know it. Even if I forgot. I love you, and I always have,” I choked out, clutching my chest like there was no tomorrow. I turned around. I couldn’t bear to look at him right now.

“(Y/N).” His breath tickled my neck. Asra wrapped his arms around me slowly and gently, as if trying not to frighten me. Wounded me. Lost me. Forgotten me.

“I’m sorry I had to take that away from you.” he told me ever so softly. “I tried to restore those memories...I tried to fix it, but I couldn’t (Y/N)...you went insane every time I tried. Then I had to erase memories so you weren’t crazy. So you wouldn’t hurt yourself and you weren’t broken. It ... crushed me to have to keep doing it to you. I longed to have you in my arms and for you to know. I’m...sorry.” The last word came out as a whisper. The kind where you were about to cry, the kind where you had no idea what else to say.

I broke away from his hold before turning around to face him. A single tear was running down his face. He reached up to rub it away, but couldn’t. I leapt onto him, kissing his soft lips with all I could to make up for that lost time. Half sobs mixed with heavy breathing were all that was coming from me as his arms reached around me and held me close.

“Please...don’t let me forget...again.”

“I won’t.”

[rose-of-fair]

#1, 2, 11, and 20 for both Elenion and Rose?

(AAAHHHH SOMEONE REMEMBERS BABY ELENION THANK YOU ANON)

1: Which character(s) is your apprentice romancing? What attracts your apprentice to them?

Elenion: He is romancing with Portia. Never did he imagine falling in love with anyone but somehow Portia has made his life so much more fun and interesting. For a while, he was always annoyed with Portia’s constant excitement and need to pry information from others but he started to enjoy those qualities about her. The way she smiles at him makes his heart flutter

Rose: She is romancing Arsa. Since the moment she laid her eyes on him, she felt so draw to him and couldn’t explain why. Rose is really drawn to Asra’s unique appearance, mysterious presence and more over his kindness. He is so easy to get along with and Rose could spend hours and hours talking about anything and everything with Asra. Moreover, his laid-back personality makes me feel calmer and remind herself to take life slow and not always run on a constant wheel.

2: If your apprentice was a romanceable character in The Arcana, what would their route be like? (Feel free to be as detailed or as vague as you’d like.)

Elenion: His route would be a slow build. He would be cold and distant for a while and would take some time for the MC to make him open up. Despite his cold and distant attitude, Elenion would always give advice and try to console them. Sure it might rub off as Elenion sounding bossy or insensitive but the truth is, he does care but really sucks at confessing his real feelings. He keeps a lot of his past behind closed doors but eventually will reveal more about himself. In terms of the Arcana plot, Elenion doesn’t care much about the Counts death nor does he feel it important to pry into such a business but somehow he gets pulled into it regardless as he doesn’t want MC doing anything reckless. 

Rose: Her route is full of cuteness, warmth, and lots of questions. She would be the very friendly character MC meets at the beginning of the game and it is quick for Rose and MC to connect with one another. Rose would always be smiling and complimenting MC, sometimes teasing them for fun but always an honest and loyal companion. Rose would often help MC with the mystery at the palace without asking for any favours. It makes MC wonder why would someone as kind and caring as she would simply agree to help even when they have known one another for such a short period of time. Whenever Rose can she will go above and beyond to help out MC, often teaching them new magic and even solving some mysteries on her own. Behind that smile of hers lies other feelings and memories she would rather not have MC find out.

11:  How does your apprentice act when meeting new people? Are they outgoing, shy, awkward, aloof? Do they like being the centre of attention?

Elenion: Harcore introvert. He is shy but the aura around him screams this cold confidence that many are intimidated by. Elenion has this poise about him that makes him look elegant and distant. He absolutely hates being the centre of attention but gets it anyway.

Rose: She is so outgoing and thrilled to meet new people! She knows how to make others feel comfortable and may use a bit of her magic to make new people feel at ease around her. She doesn’t mind being the centre of attention~

20: Is your apprentice friends with any other fan apprentices?

Elenion: So far he doesn’t have many friends (he is a shy guy after all) but he does confine with @nalshira ‘s apprentice Elyon as well as Zaro @zaro-zairel This guy would be secretly happy if he had more friends but hates to admit it~

Rose: Rose is friends with many apprentices but some notible ones who she is closest with so far  Elyon ( @nalshira ), Zaro ( @zaro-zairel ), Samaria and Vic ( @larknnightingale ), Layne ( @line-artsy ). Rowan ( @squarelyblue). I definitely see Rose being good friends with Izzy ( @metazensae ), Ciel ( @winsbuck ), Darcy ( @murielswife ), Meera ( @cutie-pinay ), and Roah ( @kissingagrumpygiant)

[elistjohn]

Mc Fancy for #cheatday ! 😝 #elisketches . . . . . #hermes #hermesfries #humor #fashion #fashiondesign #fashionsketch #fashionillustrator #fashionillustration #artistph #artistofinstagram #fashionblogger #fashionpost #fashiongram #fashionbag #fries #frenchfries #pinay #filipina #fancy

[diaryofanangryasianguy]

5 Throwback songs you listened to during the AZN PRIDE days

03/23/17

Alright you shits, let’s take a trip to the past on this lovely Throwback Thursday: AZN PRIDE Edition lmao.

1. Deestylistic - By My Side

What can I say about Deestylistic? They blew up and everyone was listening to them. This here, kids, is one of the OG anthems of the AZN PRIDE days.

2. MC Epikz and MC Ryuu - One Life, One Love

Okay, so I know there were like 300 remixes of this song but this version was the first one I heard so it will always be the original to me lol.

3. Chuckie Akenz - My Baby

All I can say about Chuckie Akenz is LOL. Okay, not his best song but a lot of his songs are anti-black and I’m not gonna put them on my page lol. But yeah, Chuckie Akenz! LOL

4. Trish Thuy Trang - Big Big World

I know Trish probably wasn’t that big but hey, she has some really good songs. My uncle, cousin, and I were all hella thuggy back in the day and shit but bumping Trish lmao.

5. Azn Dreamers - Baby Girl

I know everyone fucking knows this song lmao. You know, I always wondered what happened to Azn Dreamers but it turns out they weren’t a real band and it was someone (or multiple people) who was ripping off the 90s boybands but hey, this was the song. It was originally sung by a music group called Innervoices.

I should say that the main anthem of the AZN PRIDE days was “Got Rice?” but because it’s so anti-black, I won’t put it on here but LOL. I can’t let it end here though, here’s a bonus list:

Daniel D. - The Truth

Stevie Hoang - Addicted

Kangel - Beat in My Heart

Khmer Kid - Smoke Weed

Hard to Love a Gangster (instrumental)

Final Fantasy X - To Zanarkand

One Vo1ce - Always on My Mind

Pinay - Next Time

Kai - It Might be You

Aviation - You Were My Everything

I know you fuckers know these songs lmao.

To all the younger Asian Americans who didn’t grow up during the AZN PRIDE days, this is part of your damn history right here LOL. You have no idea what you’re looking at and what that era was like. Those days were fucking golden and I still think about them. Yep, just sitting on my dad’s computer chatting on AIM and waiting for my crushes to get on, updating my Xanga, checking my Findapix, and listening to these songs LOL. I didn’t have an Asian Avenue but shout out to that too.

*Sighs* You have no idea how big AIM, Xanga, and all this crap was for Asian Americans back in the day lol.

Angry Asian Guy

[jugitta-blog]

Just now.

Had a Tumblr account for #WBH years ago but haven’t been able to update it in a while so I decided to create a new one now. 2017-onwards.

http://womensbusinesshiphop-blog.tumblr.com/ - posts from 2013.

[tsureishi]

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So that's how it feels to do a live news interview. I didn't expect it would be a live na live interview! haha! Medyo nakakaconcious di ko pinanood to, shinare ko lang agad! LOL Thank you Early Edition on ANC for sharing my story! Thank you Billy Jane Ramos ❤️ Miriam College (formerly Maryknoll) MC sisters! hehe! The videos are all covered and created by Shaun Sato @shaunedrae amazing Pinoy Videographer I have the best Photographers I am floored! Redford Mancio Matthew Ciscart Michael Maniago ... and Travis Atreyu Dizon (sige na nga hehe) Fashion Week Brooklyn Rick Davy Tiffany Coates and Jerry Jordan-Brown I am a living proof of how your passion for supporting creatives reached the ends of the world. I never even can book a show in Manila, but you believed in me and what I can do not only once but twice. This opportunity that you gave me I will work hard to pay it forward. (OMG I'm crying) To my Pinay Pop Squad: Jacqueline Paras, Virginia Liang, Vanessa Ramos, Serenity Ford, Alexa Leimeister, Joyce Sheng, Shanice Brown, Julee Ann Marie, Morgan Glenn, Kabria Carmichael, Caroline Paras and Jeannette Josue THANK YOU! Not only did I find models in New York, but I found gurlfriends and my fabulous gurlsquad. It is the thought of having another chance to work with you gave me that motivation to do this again.. My Backstage Team: Delon, Paola Lazatin and Natalie Sit My #TiaraGirlsandBoys I would not even be here without you! Sinong mag papack ng bags?? Haha! Nicole Lim Angelou Dominique Angeles Kirstyn Louise Gail Argosino Alynna Dela Cruz John Mark Dimailig and Archie De Guzman Santiago Ate Genie and Ate Mary Jane Mercado (hindi ako magthatahnk you dun sa mga nambitin ng tahi lol) and of course my hatmakers who wants to keep a low profile. I am so happy to share these recognition with all of us! Your success is also my success, my success is also your success. Such a dramaqueen I know~ I hope I made you all proud. (at Hunter's Point South Living) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo8X6FLHgMZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=unvwdev0jc5i

[judithronquillo-blog]

Paradise Found 🌴 #Sandbar #sand #beach #beachlife #sky #pinay 📷:Mc Capadiso (at Sandbar Puerto Galera)

[benryanl]

Corny? Trite? Cheesy? I know, but this actually is my very first time with this guy. #mcdonalds or as my Pinoy/Pinay friends would say, "Mak Doh." We say "Mc Dee" here in India. (at M2K)

[atehatihan-blog]

I like her style; Pinay MCs stand up!! Hopie - Be A Lady (by HopieSpitshard)