#pig viking

[fluffybellyhog99]

The Fattest Viking around I only raid restaurants

[bktoons]

I might make a mini series of this, obviously based on the old traditional table top game, but this is my concept of inspiration.

[celtichammerclub]

Boar belt flask! . . . #celtichammerclub #celt #celtic #boar #pig #leather #leatheraccessories #leatherwork #celticart #norse #nordic #viking #fashion #craft #gift #madeintheusa https://www.instagram.com/p/CqV227LrWUg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[salem-house-press]

Bears and boars were known universally as animals representing reincarnation.

[archaeologyinbulgaria]

Mysterious 10th Century Viking Toy Unearthed in Iceland, Sparks Bewilderment and Debates

The stone 10th century Viking toy from Iceland could be a bear, a pig, a dog or a different creature. Photo: Antikva/Smithsonian Magazine In Iceland, a fascinating archaeological discovery has sparked a lively debate among experts over a small, ancient stone figurine believed to be a toy from the Viking era. This rare artifact, unearthed during excavations at the Fjordur farm site in…

[seenupositive]

Celtic Viking Pig https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/45343291-celtic-viking-pig?store_id=2515337

[the-froschamethyst4]

Sharper than Steel

𖤐Pairing: Viking! König x F! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Based on: viking-konig

𖤐Warnings: smut, language, fluff, P in V, dominate König, bit of an age gap, kissing/making out, arrange marriage, wife reader, mention of children, eating out, groping, public sex,

𖤐Summary: Viking König a ruthless clan leader, having a soft spot for his arranged marriage wife Y/n

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König aka King of KorTac, he was scary, heartless, cruel man or at least he was till he married his now wife Y/n.

She was a daughter of a pig farmer from another village, her parents could pay their taxes for him, so their innocent daughter became the payment instead, Y/n has been with König and the KorTac village for 5 years now, and she has never left to go see her parents in the old village.

Y/n walked in the village a small basket in her hands as she looked for food for her and her husband, König. She was looking at some apple picking out the best ones for König, he was picking they had to be a certain red, no yellow on the apples, no mushy parts, and they had to be from this one farmer because he sold the best ones.

And Y/n went to him every time König wanted apples as a desert. As Y/n was checking out the apples, a shadow loomed over her, turning she looks up.

"I'm trying to get the best for you," she says, hand on her hip, while placing a few apples into the basket and giving the farmer 3 gold coins.

"Are the red? No yellow? No mushy parts as well?"

"Are they from Farmer Luke?" She asked, looking up at her husband.

"Yeah-"

"Then, they are perfect," she tells him.

Over the years Y/n had gained to become comfortable with König, teasing him, being sassy, König didn't know this innocent, young woman, could have such a fisty and sassy side to her.

König placed his hand to his wife's back as they walked to their cabin which sat on a hill looking over the ocean and the village. König was the clan leader, he needed to know if his village was okay or not, so he build his cabin on the highest point looking over everything.

And once Y/n moved in, she changed a whole lot about the village, their shared cabin, and helping the future generation of KorTac. She build a school for the young kids, she held her own classes for the young girls, showing them how to make baskets, blankets, shoes, clothes, and many other things, but most of the girls learned how to make flower crowns instead, which didn't bother Y/n at all.

When Y/n was brought onto the KorTac island she was expecting everyone to hate her, because she was young and was with a man considered untouchable and wasn't able to love, but they loved her because she changed his mind.

Women gifted Y/n things and men treated her with respect, mainly because they didn't want to die by König. You disrespect his wife and your face will have an axe in it within seconds.

Even though Y/n and König have been together for a while, a lot of the villagers ask when will the two start having kids? König and Y/n have never really thought about having kids. Kids weren’t always on their minds, only the village and how to make it better within the years.

No kids

König looks at Y/n as he opens the door to their cabin, she sets her basket down and pulls out everything and starts putting everything in their own spots.

König goes behind Y/n putting his hands on her waist, holding her close. She smiles and looks up at him.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Oh nothing," he wanted something and it was obvious.

"König...just do it," I mean if you give him permission. König turns her around and picks her up lifting her on the table behind her. König leans forward kissing her lips.

His hands cupped her face bring her closer to the kiss, her chest against his and he smirks into the kiss, he brought her thighs up to her chest putting her into a mating press, his tongue slips past her lips and their tongue starts fighting with each other.

König then pins her down, he starts to kiss her thighs, pulling the bottom of her dress up to her waist. He licks his lips and starts to going down on her.

Licking between her wet folds, moans filled the house. König smirks kissing her folds and then his tongue goes between her folds. His tongue then flicks her bud.

He sits up and starts to aligned himself up at her entrance, he slowly pushes himself in. Y/n's head goes back hitting the wood, Y/n then looks down seeing her stomach slightly bulge with his dick inside of her.

She looks up his eyes, he leans down kissing her lips again, his hands holding her waist moving her with his motion making him also groan.

Y/n opened her arms wanting to hold König close to her body, he starts to pick up the pace a little bit. He attacks her neck earning some soft moans from her lips. Y/n then gets her fingers tangled into König's hair.

"Am I too rough?" He asks.

"No," she moans out.

König then moves her hair from her face, he kissed her temple, cheek and lips. König could feel Y/n tightening around him, he smirks and picks up the pace. Sitting up holding her waist moving Y/n fast on his dick. He smirks and felt himself twitch inside of her.

"Fuck," he cusses and looks down seeing cum leak from Y/n's lower half and he pulls out and watch the cum slowly leak from her.

"H-Holy fuck," Y/n says.

-----------

König had cleaned up Y/n as Y/n was near the stream in the backyard washing up her body. She splashes the water on her body, she sits down on a rock and takes in the little bit of sun peaking from the leaves of the trees.

König walks out of the cabin and looks for his wife, he comes out seeing her soaking in the sun and he hears her take a deep breath and release.

"You look so fucking beautiful," he says, stripping from his clothes and joining her, his hands immediately went to her waist kissing her back. His hand cupping her breast as she lets out a soft moan.

König smirks and kissed her shoulder now. "Your skin is so so soft," he says.

"The lady that sells the smell good stuff, she sold me so...lotion? I think she called it, and now my skin is so soft," she says, touching her thighs that were the softest.

König moves his hands from her breasts down her stomach to her thighs, giving her a gentle squeeze.

"Your thighs are so soft," he says, standing up and getting in front of her now, bending down and cupping her face kissing her lips and then her jaw. "Come on...let's...get something to eat," he says.

------------

At the dining hall, Y/n was picking off meat from her turkey leg as König was drinking, laughing with his men, men feeling up their wives. The children of the village were sent to bed early, Y/n felt her husbands hand touching her waist pulling her closer to his side.

"You smell so good."

"Lavender," Y/n says. "It's lavender."

"I love the smell," he says, his nose buried into her neck, kissing her neck.

"K-König not here..."

"No one will pay any mind to us, meine liebe (my love), and if so...I'll kill them," he says, looking up and anyone looking at them quickly turned away from their clan leader and his wife.

König picks his wife up and swiped the plate across the table putting Y/n on the table pushing her on her back, he lifts the bottom of her dress to her waist, she quickly tried to make him stop but he didn't. he smirks up at her and kissed her thighs.

"It's okay, liebe (love)."

König then licks his lips like a wild animal, licking between her wet folds, she moans and tried her best to keep quiet but she can't help it, she's loud, and that's what König likes about her.

"S-Stop it, K-König," she begs.

"I know you don't want me to," he says smacking her thighs.

She moans and leans her head back against the table, she was scared that the people might look at her and her embarrassing state, being eaten out on the table in front of all of KorTac.

"K-König," she moans again.

König would trust his tongue in and out of her, earning soft moans and then a loud one afterwards, her fingers curled around the fabric of her dress.

Her knuckles turned white and she felt her stomach start to turn. Her eyes widened knowing the feeling, she grabs König's hair trying to pull him away to make him stop.

"S-Stop, I-I'm going t-," before she could finish her sentence she ended up coming, König smirks and licks the cum that leaked out of her.

She was embarrassed she hid her face from everyone including König, she could hear him chuckling at her, she didn't dare look at him after this moment.

"Liebe (love) come on, look at me," he begs.

She fixes herself and gets off the table and heads out of the dining hall. König's never really taken Y/n on the table in front of everyone, she had the right to be upset with him.

König turns and sees his men not looking at him, he gets up and follows Y/n. She was already almost up the hill to their home.

-----------

That entire night, Y/n ignored König's pleas of forgiveness, she's in embarrassed humiliated. Y/n removed her dress and put on a big shirt that stopped at her mid-thighs. She gets in bed and ignores him.

"Liebe, please look at me...please...forgive me...I'll never ever do that again, I am so so sorry that I did that, I don't know what had come over me. I've never done that, and I'll never do that again, please...forgive me...I can't go to sleep knowing my wife...is mad at me," he begs.

Y/n was looking at the wall not facing him, he sits on his knees on his side of the bed, looking at her back like he was an upset puppy for pissing in the middle of the floor.

"Leave me alone," she says, closing her eyes and moving a bit closer to the wall.

------------

The next morning König had gone hunting, he gathered rabbit for himself and fish for Y/n. He knows Y/n hates rabbit, but will eat fish any time of the day (sorry if you don't like fish).

He starts to fix it how Y/n likes it. Speaking of Y/n, she had sat up in the bed, removing her shirt and then got dressed, she sees König fixing the food.

"Liebe, I've fixed you some fish, just the way you like it," he gives her smile but remembering what happened last night.

"No thanks," she declines.

"Y/n...you need to eat."

"Not anything from you...I have to go see the doctor now," every morning Y/n has felt sick, and she doesn't know why, some mornings she would feel sick and then an hour later would be fine for the rest of the day.

"Why are you going to the doctor?" He was worried and confused but she didn't answer him. "LIEBE!" He yells for her.

-----------

"Now Lady Y/n, I did a few tests and after some of the answers you have given me...I think...you may be pregnant..."

"P-Pregnant?"

"Yes, ma'am, are you and King wanting children?"

"We've...never talked about children," she tells him.

"Maybe it's time to let King know."

"Shit..."

------------

Y/n was nervous, her and König have never talked about having children. Y/n thought maybe they should wait a while, and König is sometimes gone and will be gone for a while.

König was sharping his axe when sees Y/n coming over the hill, he stops and gets up.

"Y/n? What is going on? Are you okay?"

"Nothing-"

"Can't be nothing if you had to go see the doctor...tell me, liebe (love)."

"....I went because every morning I've felt very sick...this morning I was fine but it comes and goes, but...I'm pregnant, King..."

Silence fell between the both of them, König was stunned and didn't know what to say, he's seen that Y/n was...growing...but didn't want to offend her in anyway.

"Liebe...this is...AMAZING!!" He picked up Y/n spinning her around and kissing her lips and holding her tightly. "Oh I'm glad," he holds her tightly against his chest. "Do we know if it's going to be a boy or girl."

He started to go on and on about everything for and about the baby, all she could do was giggle at him and how ridiculous he was being but she loved him for it.

What happened last night was gone from her memory, she had to start making new memories with her husband and child the way.

----------

It's been a few years now (7) and now King and Y/n have 5 children together, 3 boys and and 2 girls.

König's girls were just like their mother, and his sons were a carbine copies of him.

König stood in the woods with his sons, well playing "hide 'n' seek" as he likes to call it if he can see them or find them then their enemy could see them, he was preparing them for when they would go to battle when they're older.

"I see you Felix," he says, pointing to the tree, his son was behind it. "I see you as well, Claus," he points to a puddle of mud and his son sits up in it. "Claus, go clean yourself up your mother will have a fit if she sees you like that...now...where is Leon?"

He looks around trying to find his oldest son. Leon has grown and is very good at hiding now. Leon was camouflage he had found some leaves and covered himself hiding in some bushes, mud covering his face.

"I know where you are, son," he says as he turns and saw blue eyes staring back at him.

"Dad~" He groans.

"I saw you a while ago, but I didn't want to say anything. I always find you," he says.

Leon wipes his face. "Go clean up all over you," König says.

"Oh Claus," Y/n says trying to clean her sons body. "Why did you jump in the mud?" She asked.

"I was trying to hide, mama," he says.

"Come on," she picks him up and took him to the stream to clean him up.

"Daddy, can you play with us?" His daughters rush up to him, holding flowers in their hands.

"Sure, babies," he says, picking up his second oldest daughter and taking them to the side of the house to watch them start making flower crowns. Y/n had taught them a while ago and now they do it as something natural to them.

"Daddy, here," his daughter Heidi says, giving him one with daisies, dandelions, and honeysuckle. She placed it on his head and his other daughter Emma made him a ring of a dandelion.

"King," König looks to his left seeing Nikto.

"What is it?" He asks, a bit annoyed.

"We need to get ready."

"Daddy, where are you going?" Emma asks.

"I have to go and collect money, babies," he says, he kissed the top of his daughters head and his sons come running towards him even a naked baby Claus.

"CLAUS!" Y/n yells with a towel chasing after the baby boy, she finally wraps him. "You sneaky little boy," she says, kissing his puffy cheeks and he giggles.

"Daddy is leaving, mama," Heidi says.

"Already?" Y/n asks.

"Only for a few days," he says, coming towards Y/n and cupping her face kissing her lips.

"Ewww," their children say at once.

König walks with Nikto to the docks. König was getting weird looks from his men, he was confused till he realized that he was still wearing the flower crown his daughters had made for him.

"What the hell are you looking at?" He threatens his men, who quickly shook their heads and looked away from him.

[prettygrltatum]

I’m going to be hopping onto the Viking au right now because I’m literally in love with right now lol.

The way you and Simon first meet was actually him hunting for the village weekly feast. He was dragging around his dead game, waiting to be roasted and glazed with honey. Simon stopped for a moment as he counted how many arrows he had left. One..two..ten..fifteen. He didn’t care, he was ready to go home anyways. Just a few more pigs and deers and that should enough on his part.

Meanwhile you, a girl from a smaller, lesser know village. As the cleric and medic of your village you were expected to the berries during the fall before all of the plants and berries died. Your village was very strict for that, knowing that they had a long history of men, women’s no children dying to common sickness and yet not having enough to save their unfortunate lives.

Simon started to prepare his bow as he saw a fluffy sheep graze by. And my was this sheep rather fluffy. He placed the bow carefully on the bow, drawing it back. His eyes trained closely on the sheep.

You bent and picked up the precious berries, checking if they had fungus on them. You arose from the ground to feel a slice on your face. The blood trickled down your cheek and under your chin. “Ah! W-who goes there?” You sheepishly screamed. You clutch the tiny dragged tipped with poison. Simon head rose from the log he hid behind. He finally realized he didn’t hit a sheep, but rather a pretty lady dressed in warm sheep coat. “Ma’am I apologize. I mistook you for a sheep.”

Your cheeks puffed up as you placed your hand on your hips. “A sheep! How dare you!” You huffed. You stomp softly to him, chest puffed up. “Yes, I am sorry. I can make it up to you by taking you to the feast held at my village.” He offered.

“What village are you from?” You asked, holding the basket of berries in your hands. “Spec.” He mumbled. You gasped as you realize the village name. You’ve heard of how strong their leader was and how he was able to save his village from nasty beast and greedy pillagers. “Spec! Your leader must extremely strong! I’ve heard story of you all. We’re nothing compared to yours.”

“Well, then lets go. I can show how really strong we are at the feast.” Simon quickly walked away leaving you stunned. “H-hey! Wait for me!”

[octuscle]

Roommates

Sven wasn't exactly the type of Swedish exchange student that the Alpha Phi fraternity had expected. Of course, they had expected some kind of Viking. Long blonde hair, muscular body, hard-drinking beyond measure. Sven was NOTHING like that. None, slight with a slight belly, vegan, teetotaler. A bore and a nerd! If anyone didn't fit into the fraternity, it was this nerd, whose bed had long since been neatly made at 08:00 in the morning and who was already sitting in the library studying. Most of his fraternity brothers simply ignored Sven. But it wasn't so easy for his roommate Alex. Sven didn't like it when Alex smoked pot with his bong, Sven constantly asked Alex to keep order and clean. Sven annoyed Alex with every single one of his Swedish breaths.

Saturday morning. Alex had a serious hangover. The party yesterday had been more than worth it. Of course he would have preferred to fuck the linebacker in his bed. But of course Sven had already been in bed at 10 p.m. and couldn't be disturbed. But hell, the fuck in the broom closet had been hot. And where had the little nerd gone again? The bed was already made, of course. There was a note on the pillow that read in little-girl handwriting "I'm at the museum today, will be back around 8pm." Museum! On a Saturday! What a loser… Alex had no idea why he was doing this, but he just wanted to get one over on the little neat freak. So he wiped his hairy, sweaty armpits with Sven's pillow. Then he pissed, wanked his morning boner and lay down again to sleep it off. When Sven came home in the evening, he sighed. Once again, Alex had left behind a mess that reached right into his own half of the room they shared. He tidied up at least his part of the room and went down to the kitchen to prepare his dinner. The other guys had all gone out. Sure, it was Saturday night. Sven enjoyed preparing and eating his vegetable soup while reading National Geographic. He got ready for bed around 10 p.m. He wanted to go to the botanical garden in the morning.

Sven's night was restless. Not just because of Alex, who came home at around 03:00 in the morning, full to bursting and then had to throw up in the toilet. It was also because of wild dreams. Sven woke up twice because of an almost painful boner. And after getting up, he had to jerk off urgently. He had never been this horny before. Damn it, if he wanted to get to the botanical garden in time for the tour, he had to hurry. Showering was out of the question. He smelled under his armpits. Phew! And he really needed to shave there too. What a bush that was growing there. Sven quickly took Alex's deodorant. The scent should mask the stench. And then he hurriedly got ready and quietly left the frat house.

When Alex woke up, he had to grin. For the first time, Sven's bed wasn't made. His silly pyjama bottoms were actually on the floor. And he hadn't left a note about what nerdy activity he was doing today. Alex took Sven's pyjama bottoms and pulled them through his own ass crack a few times with relish. The idea of the little nerd putting these pants on made him really horny. He leaked precum, which he wiped off with Sven's pyjama bottoms. His personal pain in the ass deserved that.

When Sven came back in the late afternoon, most of the jocks were sitting in the living room watching football. Sven had no idea what the rules were and he wasn't really interested. But he thought it was cool to hang out with the guys now. As long as he was in the fraternity… Plus there were nachos and beer. If that wasn't a reason to sit down in a free seat…

When Alex woke up the next morning, Sven's bed was empty, of course. Miserable nerd, thought Alex. Then he heard the sound of the toilet flushing. And a naked Sven came out of the bathroom. "Hey, didn't you wash your hands, you pig?" Alex asked, looking at the mighty cock dangling between Sven's legs. Sven held his hand under Alex's nose. "Doesn't stink, so doesn't need washing, Bruh," he said with a grin. And as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants, a no-longer-fresh T-shirt and a sweat jacket, he added that he was late for the first lecture. And asked if he would meet Alex at the gym later.

Whatever drugs Sven was taking, Alex thought, he should keep taking them. Speaking of drugs. Alex was in the mood for a bong. Now that the nerd was gone. Alex would be skipping the first lecture anyway. His Monday started with the lunch break at the earliest. He lit the bong. And taking advantage of the opportunity to be alone, he blew the smoke right onto Sven's crumpled pillow.

Normally, Alex would have been embarrassed to be seen in the gym with Sven. But actually, the little wanker wasn't doing too badly. Sven wasn't necessarily muscular. But wiry. And he obviously had the ambition to put on weight. Alex shared his protein shake with his roommate. And Sven thanked him with a huge protein fart on the leg press. Hell, did he smell like that himself, Alex wondered, feeling a little sorry for Sven. Having not showered since Saturday morning, Sven insisted on showering after training. Sissy, Alex thought at first. Until he saw Sven naked in the changing room. "Hey, Swedish stallion, wait for me," he called after him. Never in his life would he have thought that he would ever jerk off in the shower with Sven.

Sven got up the next morning. He should have done his laundry yesterday. But now he had to do it in yesterday's jockstrap and socks. He had showered last night, so he could use the precious time to smoke a joint. Damn it, there had to be tobacco and weed somewhere in his hopeless mess. Alex was still snoring. The tent he had built in his bed clearly marked his morning wood. Sven would have loved to give the stud a blow job. But he had now decided to have a joint. He didn't have time for both together. As usual, he was running late. And he often couldn't afford to be late any more. Alex was well off. Thanks to his rich parents and his football scholarship, he could afford to sleep through the morning. Sven had to get reasonably good grades so that his scholarship abroad wouldn't be canceled.

Before he left the fraternity house, he quickly made himself a protein shake. One of his frat brothers hugged him from behind and grabbed the bulge in his sweatpants. "Time for a quick fuck, stud?" Fuck, now he was late for class after all.

"You look good, Bruh!" Alex said that evening after the workout. "Ever thought about a roid cycle?" Sven was hungry for more. In his mind, he put on 40 pounds of muscle. The thought of a massive roid gut gave him a hard-on. He knocked the cap off Alex's head. "You only want that to make my cock shrink. You just can't swallow that beast like that." Alex got down on his knees and pulled the waistband of Sven's pants down. The precum-smeared cock popped out of its prison. "I think I'll just give it a go…" Best roommates ever!

Pic of the two studs found @meninthemirr0r

Story based on an idea of @1-800-give-a-chance

[axelsagewrites]

Where Am I?*Part Three

Pairing: modern!f!reader x (to be determined...) Ubbe, Ivar, Sigurd, Hviserks, Bjorn

Word count: 1482

Series Summary: After falling head first the reader wakes up face to face with a group of strangely dressed men who look eerily like the vikings she studies

Part one Part two

Masterlist Here

You weren’t too sure what to expect when Ragnar said they would show you hospitality, but this was definitely something alright. You’d been given a dress that fit into the time period a bit better and made you stick out less than you had before. well, that was if you ignored the fact your hair was completely different from everyone else and everyone, but the Ragnarsson’s took at least three steps back whenever you approached.

When his brothers realised Ivar had been sneaking in to talk to you their protests began, “That’s not fair!”

“Why didn’t you tell us she could understand us?”

“Why did she talk to you and not us?”

You didn’t even feel the need to mention he’d bribed you with food. Ivar was good enough at arguing for himself. meanwhile as they bickered at the dinner table Bjorn sat at the other end staring at you the whole time. it defiantly wasn’t completely unsettling. Ragnar meanwhile was asking you a million questions you didn’t know how to answer.

“So how does a lighter work?”

“A spark happens when you press down and lights the gas,” you tried to explain while you ate your stew.

Ragnar nodded as he thought it over, “I think I understand. But what is a gas?”

“Uh…”  you said but Bjorn cut you off, effectively silencing everyone at the same time.

“How do we know you’re not a witch?” he said making Ivar roll his eyes and for once Ubbe and Ivar seemed to agree with something.

“If she was a witch surely, she would’ve escaped by now?” Ubbe sighed.

“Besides,” Hvitserk said, cheeks pink from his fourth glass of mead, “She’s far too pretty to be a witch,” he said, throwing a wink your way making your own cheeks heat up. The way Ivar glared at Hvitserk though put you on edge.

It was Sigurd turn to roll his eyes at his brother, “You’re a pig. And besides she hasn’t done anything. How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?”

“If anyone is going to do that it will be Ivar,” Ubbe said so nonchalantly you felt your jaw drop.

Especially when Ivar chimed in, “This is true,”

You could see the growing annoyance on Bjorn’s face as his younger brothers had their petty fights, something you would soon have to get used to. Clearly Aslaug was used to it however as she sank more into her wine. You had to admit the wine at least was nice. “I don’t know how I can earn your trust Bjorn, but I swear on my life I didn’t come to hurt anyone,”

You half expected him to laugh or roll his eyes at you but instead he cocked his head to the side, “Who told you, my name?”

You watched as everyone paused what they were doing to turn to look at you. “How did you know any of our names?” Sigurd asked.

You debated lying, saying Ivar told you but you didn’t feel like that was a good hole to dig. Instead, you swallowed hard, “Well everyone knows your name. you’re Bjorn ironside. Son of Ragnar. The Ragnarssons are famous,” you tried to say it nonchalantly while being very aware each one of them had a knife or axe.

However, flattery seemed to work, “And me as well?” Ragnar asked, a spark behind his eyes, “After all I am Ragnar Lodbrok,” he said making his sons all roll their eyes.

“Well of course. there are legends about you. they write tv shows about your lives,”

They all seemed so proud of themselves, even Aslaug had a smile behind her cup. You felt satisfied with your excuse until Bjorn asked, “What is a tv show?”

“Uh…”

-

Later that night Ivar showed you to a room that looked far less like a prison than the one you’d been in before. “We’ve got your-whatever these are,” Ubbe said as he and Sigurd walked into the room with a bag each and Hvitserk came in behind them with a flagon of wine.

“They’re just bags,” you said as you took them and moved to sit on the makeshift bed they had.

Privacy clearly wasn’t a thing here as all four boys sat down and began passing the wine around, “What’s in that one?” Sigurd asked, pointing to your guitar case.

You opened it and pulled it out, “Is it some kind of lute?” Hvitserk asked but you could see Sigurd was the keenest.

“I guess?” you said, placing it on your lap and gently strumming the strings, “It’s called a guitar,”

“Play us something?” Ubbe asked before taking a swig out the wine.

You sighed as you looked at the strings and tried to think of a song before your fingers found the strings and you began to strum.

“I’m like the water when your ship rolled in that night,

Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife,” you began to sing Taylor swift softly as you played Willow. All four boys seemed mesmerised as you sang and even Ivar stayed quiet until the last night, “I’m begging for you to take my hand,

Wreck my plans, that’s my man,” you finished, placing your hand over the strings and looking up to finally meet their eyes.

“That was beautiful,” Sigurd said, “Did you write that?”

“Yes,” you said without thinking. After all a little white lie never hurt? Besides its not like Taylor would know or anyone could prove you wrong, “Yes I did,”

“You’re very talented,” Ubbe said, passing you the wine.

You looked at it sceptically before finally taking a drink. It’s not like they’d need to poison you anyway. You were already screwed. You all began to drink and laugh the night away as you played a few more songs on the guitar, even letting the boys try have a shot. What you didn’t see however was Bjorn standing beside the door to your room, smiling softly whenever you sang.

-

 The next day Ubbe offered to give you a tour of Kattegat so you could get to know the place. “This is the market,” he said as a little girl ran away from you to her mother making you bite back a laugh, “Sorry about that. They’ll be less frightened of you soon,”

You chuckled at his words making a smile stretch on his face, “Its ironic. Out of everyone here I’m the least frightening one,”

“I don’t know so much,” he said. You narrowed your eyes at him with a curious smile making him chuckle, “Weve never met anyone like you. you are so…” he paused searching for the right word,” rare,”

“That’s the nicest thing I think someone has ever said to me,” you said.

Ubbe gave you a soft smile as he led you around the stalls. You tried to refuse it, but he did buy you a knife, promising to show you how to use it just encase. Even the way he insisted made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

As you were walking around the market you did bump into someone. “Bjorn!” Ubbe called to his brother who wore an uncomfortably stoic look as he walked over. “I was just showing her round Kattegat,”

Bjorn nodded, his eyes scanning your frame, “Good. Can’t have you getting lost now, can we? Think my father might have a fit if we lost you,” something about the way his eyes studied you had a heat creeping up the back of your neck.

“I hope all his questions don’t bother you,” Ubbe said, giving you a sorry smile.

It was true that every conversation with Ragnar was like an interrogation. He wanted to know everything you could tell him about the future and honestly you didn’t know how to explain how a television worked. “I don’t mind. Its sweet,” you said making them both chuckle, “What?”

“Most people would not describe my father as sweet,” Bjorn said, a smile finally cracked onto his lips.

“She’s also friends with Ivar so she may not be fully right in the head,” Ubbe teased.

“Ivars not that bad,” you rolled your eyes, but both their eyes seemed to bulge out their skulls, “He’s a lot nicer when people aren’t constantly picking on him,” you half joked though you did hate how they teased him. especially Sigurd who whenever Ivar wasn’t around was kind but whenever he walked into the room you could cut the air with a knife.

Ubbe just tutted at you, “Oh you have much to learn sweet, foolish, girl. It’s a good thing we found you when we did,” You did your best to roll your eyes and blow him off but for the rest of the day you found your mind wandering. What would it be like to date a Viking?

Part four here

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[fluffybellyhog99]

The Viking Hog is back and ready to fight the slim beauty standards once again and this time I brought more weight and soft fat

[lilianasgrimoire]

Every Pagan Holiday

JANUARY 

KALENDS 

1st January 

Origins: Ancient Greece/Rome 

Observed by: Hellenic/Roman polytheists 

Honouring Janus/Juno, first day of the Year. Kalends brought us the word 'calendar'. 

ÞORRABLÓT (THORRABLÓT) 

End of January/beginning of February 

Origins: Iceland 

Observed by: Heathens, Asatru 

Midwinter Festival honouring Thor, usually by feasting and poetry. 

FEBRUARY 

IMBOLC 

2nd February 

Origins: Celtic polytheism /Ireland, as St. Brigid's Day 

Observed by: Most neopagans, Wiccans, Druids, Asatru (as Charming of the Plow)  

Imbolc is the most widely known and observed pagan holiday in the months of January and February. It falls at the beginning of spring/end of the winter for the Celtic peoples; marking the changing of the seasons, as most holidays do. St. Brigid is a Christianised form of or inspired by the Celtic fertility goddess Brigid who is celebrated on this day.  

PARENTALIA 

13th-21st February 

Origins: Ancient Rome 

Observed by: Greco-Roman polytheists 

Translating to 'Ancestors Day', Parentalia is a nine-day celebration of deceased ancestors. Historically it was observed by feasting and making offerings and sacrifices to the dead and spirits of the underworld.  

VÁLI'S BLOT 

14th February 

Origins: Old Norse 

Observed by: Heathens, Asatru, Norse polytheists 

Váli's Blot is considered by some Asatru to be the Norse equivalent of Valentine's Day but is widely acknowledged as a season changing festival. A day for marriage and celebrating with family and friends, and for remembrance of Váli, the son of Odin who defeated Höðr on this day.  

LUPERCALIA 

15th February 

Origins: Ancient Rome 

Observed by: Greco-Roman polytheists 

Festival thought to honour a wolf who raised abandoned princes, celebrated originally by sacrificing goats to the gods, feasting, and, for fertility, nudity and fornication. 

LESSER ELEUSINIAN MYSTERIES 

17th-23rd February 

Origins: Ancient Greece 

Observed by: Hellenic polytheists 

Initiation to the cult of Persephone and Demeter by sacrificing a pig. Prelude to Greater Mysteries, initiations held on these dates. Once completed, initiates could then move onto Greater Mysteries in the autumn.  

ANTHESTERIA 

27th February - 1st March 2021 

Origins: Ancient Greece 

Observed by: Hellenic polytheists 

Athenian festivals dedicated to Dionysus and the dead. Held around the full moon in the month of Anthesterion, which in the Gregorian calendar this year roughly translates to 27th February. 

THE DISTING/DÍSABLÓT 

End of February/beginning of March 

Origins: Uppsala, Sweden 

Observed by: Heathens, Asatru, Norse polytheists 

Celebration of Valkyries and other female spirits, called dísir. Sacrifices were made for a good harvest. Celebrated still by an annual market in Sweden.  

MARCH 

KALENDS 

1st March 

Origins: Ancient Greece/Rome 

Observed by: Hellenic/Roman polytheists 

Honouring the god Mars/Ares. Kalends brought us the word 'calendar'. 

OSTARA/EARRACH 

20th March 

Origins: Anglo Saxon paganism, popularised as Ostara by Wicca 

Observed by:  Anglo Saxon Pagans, Wiccans, Neopagans, Druids (as Alba Eilir), Heathens (as Summer Finding), Ásatrú (as Sigrblót)  

The northern hemisphere's vernal equinox, the word Ostara was introduced though Wicca and named for the goddess Eostre. Surprisingly unrelated to Easter in all but name, Ostara symbolises the beginning of spring. As a seasonal holiday it is widely celebrated by many different groups of pagans.  

RAGNAR LODBROK'S DAY 

28th March 

Origins: Icelandic Sagas 

Observed by: Ásatrú  

Day of remembrance for Ragnar Lodbrok, Viking King of legend  

APRIL 

KALENDS/VENERALIA 

1st April 

Origins: Ancient Greece/Rome 

Observed by: Hellenic/Roman polytheists 

Celebration of the first of the month, this one honouring the goddess, Venus. 

REMEMBRANCE FOR HAAKON SIGURDSSON 

9th April 

Origins: Norway, C9th 

Observed by: Ásatrú 

Day of remembrance for ruler of Norway who claimed lineage to Odin in the Icelandic Sagas.  

WALPURGISNACHT 

30th April 

Origins: German Christianity, originally Saint Walpurga was known for banishing witches and other pests 

Observed by: LaVeyan Satanists 

Anton LaVey chose to celebrate this holiday as a follow up to the spring equinox and due to its past association with witchcraft.  

HEXENNACHT (WITCHES' NIGHT) 

30th April 

Origins: German folklore, as Walpurgisnacht but witches were alleged to convene with the devil in this night 

Observed by: Temple of Satan as 'a solemn holiday to honour those who were victimized by superstition'.  

MAY 

BEALTAINE/BELTANE 

1st May 

Origins: Celtic (Ireland/Scotland/Isle of Man)  

Observed by: Wiccans, Neopagans, Celtic reconstructionist, Ásatrú/Heathens (as May Day)  

One of the more well-known pagan festivals, Beltane is a festival of fire and the beginning of the summer. Also widely referred to as May Day, it is celebrated by lighting fires.  

KALENDS 

1st May 

Origins: Ancient Greece/Rome 

Observed by: Hellenic/Roman polytheists 

Honouring the goddess Maia, for whom the month may have been named.  

REMEMBRANCE FOR Guðröðr of Guðbrandsdál 

9th May 

Origins: C11 Norway, Icelandic Sagas 

Observed by: Ásatrú, Norse, heathens 

Guðröðr had his tongue removed by Óláfr for rebelling against violent conversion from Norse paganism to Christianity.  

JUNE 

KALENDS 

1st June 

Origins: Ancient Greece/Rome 

Observed by: Hellenic/Roman polytheists 

Anniversary of temples to Juno Moneta (protectress of money, her temple was where coins were made), Mars/Ares (God of war), and the Tempestates (goddesses of storms).  

ARRHEPHORIA 

3rd Skirophorion (translates to mid-June)  

Origins: Ancient Greece 

Observed by: Hellenic reconstructionist 

Feast in celebration of Athena and fertility.  

MIDSUMMER/SUMMER SOLSTICE 

21st June 

Origins: Agricultural holiday/longest day observed for centuries by many civilisations. Christianity can date to as early as C4th 

Observed by: Wiccans/Germanic neopagans (as Litha), Asatru/Heathens, Druids (as Alban Hefin)  

One of the main four holidays in the Wheel of the Year and popularised by Wiccans and neopagans as Litha which is taken from the Anglo-Saxon words for June/July, this is the longest day of the year and the middle point and sometimes considered the beginning of summer.  

JULY 

REMEMBRANCE FOR UNNR/AUD THE DEEP MINDED 

9th July 

Origins: C9th Iceland 

Observed by: Ásatrú, Heathens, Norse reconstructionist 

Aud was a traveller in the 9th century moving between Dublin, the Hebrides, Orkney, and finally Iceland following the deaths of her husband and son. This day is to honour her memory.  

HERACLEIA 

July/August  

Origins: Ancient Greece 

Observed by: Hellenic polytheists  

Festival dedicated to Heracles the demigod and his death, involving feasting and celebration.  

AUGUST 

LUGHNASADH/LAMMAS 

1st August 

Origins: Celtic Britain (Ireland, Scotland, Isle of Man) 

Observed by: Wiccans, Neopagans, Christians (as Lammas), Ásatrú (as Freyfaxi)  

Named for the god Lugh, this festival is one of the Celtic harvest festivals and marks the beginning of the harvesting months. It was celebrated by climbing mountains, bull sacrifice, offerings, and feasting. Handfasting is commonplace with Wiccans in modern times.  

REMEMBRANCE FOR REDBAD, KING OF THE FRISIANS 

9th August 

Origins: C7th Frisia (area of Germany/Netherlands)  

SEPTEMBER 

NOUMENIA 

8th September  

Origins: Ancient Greece 

Observed by: Hellenic polytheists 

Celebration of new Hellenic lunar month. Offerings of honey and incense made to household deities.  

REMEMBRANCE FOR HERMANN THE CHERUSCAN 

9th September 

Origins: C9th CE 

Observed by: Heathens, Ásatrú 

Hermann the Cheruscan, also known as Arminius of the Cherusci tribe, led the defeat against the Romans at the Battle of Teutoburg Forest and is lauded for saving Eastern Germanic peoples from being conquered by the Roman Empire.  

AUTUMN EQUINOX (NORTHERN HEMISPHERE)  

22nd September  

Origins: 1970s neopaganism 

Observed by: Wiccans and Neopagans (as Mabon), Ásatrú (as Winter Finding)  

Named Mabon by prominent Wicca and Neopagan Aidan Kelly, after the Welsh mythological figure Mabon ap Moldron, the autumn equinox is one of the harvest festivals and marks the beginning of autumn in the northern hemisphere. Mabon is a relatively new pagan holiday not based on any specific historical festival, but traditionally people around the world would celebrate some kind of harvest festival around the end of September/beginning of October. 

OCTOBER 

PYANOPSIA 

7th October 

Origins: Ancient Greece 

Observed by: Hellenic polytheists 

Pyanopsia, or Pyanepsia, is a festival to honour Apollo, one of the most important deities, God of music, the sun, knowledge, healing, and archery - amongst other things. During the festival, two special offerings would be placed on doorways and carried to the temple. These offerings were a bean stew, and an olive branch wrapped in wool with honeys, pastries and seasonal fruits hanging from it. 

REMEMBRANCE FOR LEIF EIRIKSSON 

9th October  

Origins: C10th CE 

Observed by: Heathens, Ásatrú, Norse pagans 

Remembrance for Leif and his sister Freydís Eiríksdóttir, children of Erik the Red, who are cited with being the first Norse explorers in North America.  

THESMOPHORIA 

12th-14th October 

Origins: Ancient Greece 

Observed by: Hellenic polytheists 

Festival held in honour of Demeter Thesmophoros, goddess of agriculture, and her daughter Persephone, goddess of death and life, Queen of the Underworld. Celebrated primarily by women, this festival is linked with fertility, and we know very little about it due to its secretive rites. It is thought that it involved the sacrifice of pigs (although some sources say women), and abstinence.  

REMEMBRANCE FOR ERIK THE RED 

28th October 

Origins: C9th CE 

Observed by: Heathens, Ásatrú, Norse pagans 

Erik the Red, probably named for the colour of his hair and beard, was the first permanent European settler in Greenland. His children were explorers too, who went to America, and although his wife converted to Christianity, Erik remained faithful to his Norse pagan gods. 

SAMHAIN (HALLOWE'EN) 

31st October-1st November  

Origins: Gaelic - Scotland, Ireland, Isle of Man 

Observed by: Celtic pagans, Neopagans, Wiccans 

Pronounced SOW-in (sow rhyming with cow), Samhain was originally a harvest festival marking the beginning of winter. The day itself is the 1st November, but celebrations begin on October 31st, and this has become the accepted associated day. It's a festival of the dead, where the síthe, fae and spirits, can enter this realm from their own. Wiccans talk of a 'veil' thinning, meaning the boundary between worlds. Similar death related festivals around this time can be noted in other faiths from across the globe, and of course in the modern Hallowe'en. 

WINTER NIGHTS (VETRNAETR), ÁLFABLÓT/DÍSABLÓT 

31st October 

Origins: 

Celebrated by: Heathens, Ásatrú, Norse pagans 

Winter Nights is mentioned in the Ynglinga Saga as one of the three greatest blessings of the year, the other two being Sigrblót in April, and þorrablót in late Jan/early Feb. Winter Nights is the celebration of the beginning of the winter season; Álfablót is a sacrifice to the elves, and Dísablót a sacrifice to the female spirits (dísir) and Valkyries.  

NOVEMBER 

REMEMBRANCE FOR SIGRID THE HAUGHTY 

9th November 

Origins: C9th CE 

Observed by: Heathens, Ásatrú, Norse pagans 

It is not actually known whether Sigrid Storråda, or Sigrid the Haughty, was an actual historical figure, an amalgamation of a few, or simply a myth. The lore goes that she was proposed to multiple times and turned down many but went on to orchestrate conflict when a potential suitor - Olaf Tryggvason, King of Norway - attempted to convert her to Christianity.  

DECEMBER 

REMEMBRANCE FOR EGILL SKALLAGRÍMSSON  

9th December  

Origins: C10th CE  

Observed by: Heathens, Ásatrú, Norse pagans  

Day celebrating the poet, farmer, and berserker Egill Skallagrímsson, who is recalled in The Icelandic Sagas by Snorri Sturluson. Egill is known for his many killings and escaping death by writing an epic poem after being captured when washing up on our Northumberland coastline.  

SATURNALIA  

17th - 23rd December  

Origins: Ancient Rome  

Observed by: Roman polytheists, some Hellenic  

Like Yule and Lesser Dionysia, Saturnalia was the Roman winter festival celebrating the coming return of the sun and honouring the god Saturn. The standard feasting and drinking feature, and slaves would be treated as equals like Dionysia. Saturnalia is another festival cited as being picked up by Christians and used as inspiration for Christmas.  

WINTER SOLSTICE (YULE/MIDWINTER)  

21st December  

Origins: Germanic nations, as early as C4th CE  

Observed by: Norse pagans, Wiccans, Neopagans, LaVeyan Satanists, Ásatrú, Heathens, many Germanic nonpagan peoples  

Yule is the midwinter festival known commonly among pagans as a time for feasting, being with loved ones, remembering ancestors, and looking forward to the return of the light and warmer days. Many pagans will celebrate Yule for more than one day, some celebrating a week either side, some for longer, up to two months, and some for twelve days afterwards. True Yule would have originally been in January for midwinter, but King Haakon the Good  

moved it to coincide with the Christian celebrations in the 10th century, as told in the Ynglinga Saga.  

On the 24th of December, Anglo Saxons are said to have celebrated 'Mothers Night' honouring female ancestors. 

RURAL/LESSER DIONYSIA  

End of December/beginning of January  

Origins: Ancient Greece  

Observed by: Hellenic polytheists  

Smaller festival honouring the god Dionysus (Greater Dionysia took place in cities at the end of winter). Feasting, mask wearing to stop distinction between classes so that everyone could feel equal, sacrifices, parades, and phallic display were all used to celebrate.

[cantareincminor]

Bridal Carry, Nightfall Version

Was rereading SxF chapter 86 and loled at this panel:

Nightfall’s internal monologue says: “just like a bride over the threshold aaaaaaahhhhhh”

Uh, girl, in what universe does a man carry his bride over his shoulders like a wild pig caught from the hunt? Probably in Viking raids where the women were taken captive :/

I’m pretty neutral on Nightfall as a character but her comedic value is quite…special.

[jiubilant]

on a quest to mod as much lore-friendly wildlife into skyrim se as possible. crows. ravens. more ravens. boars i can buy as an invasive species (such is the power of the pig). ditto with pigeons. seems plausible for woolly rhinos to roam the same steppes as mammoths so in they go. the housecats in the mod i found could stand to look a bit less like modern housecats and a bit more like the rugged little guys that the vikings bred for mousing + farmed for fur but who could possibly resist the allure of a bards' college cat with a little hat

[diioonysus]

my favorite historical facts

mayans believed that having crossed-eyes meant you were favored by the sun god kinich ahau, who was cross-eyed as well. in hopes that children would be, they would have objects dangled between their eyes to permanently cross their eyes.

ancient rome had a 4-story shopping mall with 150 shops and offices which was made in 113 AD

ancient egyptians invented toothpaste, they made it with rock salt, pepper, mint, and dried iris flowers

until recently (20th century) bones and mummies were used in traditional medicine, as some believed they could cure ailements by ingesting related body parts.

left-handed people were considered unlucky in ancient rome

lots of medieval barbers were also dentists and surgeons, which is why barbershops use red and white stripes because the stripes represent bandages used during bloodletting.

in medieval germany, married couples could legally settle their disputes by fighting a martial duel.

married women were not allowed to watch the ancient olympics, under penatly of death, but the vestal virigins in ancient rome were allowed to in some circumstances because their sacred building was knocked down to make a stadium

ancient greeks invented the first alarm clock in a system where pebbles would be dropped onto a gong and this would then make a loud sound

if a pirate ship approached flying a red flag with a hourglass on it then the defenders knew they were in some shit as red meant "give no quarter" and the hourglass meant essentially your time on earth was about to run out

shakespeare originated the "yo momma" joke, as in his one play titus androcius, a character says "thou has undone our mother," to which another character says "villain, i have done thy mother."

before abraham lincoln became a politician, he was a champion wrestler with more than 300 bouts under his belt, and only lost one match in his career. he was inducted into the national wrestling hall of fame in 1992

the gauls when trying to sack rome, caedicius had to get approval from the senate on the besieged capitoline. a messenger snuck through the gallic camp and scaled the unguarded cliff side of the hill to deliver the message. It was quickly decided to restore camillus to his command and to give him dictatorial powers and then the messenger snuck his way out again. the senone scouts discovered the messenger’s footprints and figured out that there was a way to scale the cliffs. they choose a night with a full moon and sent their bravest warriors up the cliff. none of the romans noticed, but the geese did. they started honking loudly and woke up the sleeping romans, the romans than pushed the gauls off the hill, and due to this fight the gauls suffered food shortages and diseases, so geese saved the day.

a pig was executed in 1386 after attacking a kid who would die from their wounds. the pig was arrested, kept in prison, and then sent to the court where it stood trial for murder, eventually being found guilty and then executed by hanging.

forks used to be considered blasphemous. when forks arrived in 11th century italy, it alarmed religious leaders because eating with artifical hands offended god.

the bluetooth design and name was named after the viking king harald bluetooth, based on an analogy that the technology would unite devices the way harald bluetooth united the tribes of denmark into a single kingdom. his intials in runes is the design of the logo

throwing an apple at somebody in ancient greece was considered flirting because the apple was sacred to aphrodite, so throwing it was declaring ones love

king george v of england was euthanized as his staff wanted his death to make the morning papers rather than the evenings ones, so they put him to death early without his consent

robert liston, a surgeon preformed an operation with a 300% mortality rate; he killed the patient and two other people

[thesoftboiledegg]

"Mort: Ragnarick" was pure fun, but a different kind of fun than "Rickfending Your Mort" and "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie."

"Rickfending Your Mort" was a laid-back clip show that gave the viewer a break after the insanity of "Unmortricken"--a smart decision but not one with a lot of substance. "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie" has been controversial. I thought it was entertaining, but it would've worked better as a YouTube short.

If "Unmortricken" represented lore episodes at their best, "Mort: Ragnarick" was the best of classic Rick and Morty adventures: a wildly imaginative plot, goofy satire, fantasy science and Rick and Morty working together as a duo, reminding us how much they need each other.

Rick's the driving force behind these adventures, but without Morty, he's just a miserable old man trying to distract himself. Morty's the heart and voice of reason. He also gives Rick something to live for. Without him, Beth, Jerry or Summer, why do anything?

Rick pretends to live for science, but "science" just caused decades of grief and isolation. His family isn't a concept; it's an entity that loves him back.

Bigfoot, an evil pope, Pokeballs, Valhalla, clone bodies, infinite energy sources, zombie Summer, Rick screaming "PO-O-O-O-OPE!": only Rick and Morty could combine all those concepts into one cohesive episode. I never thought "Wow, that took me out of the story." The Pokeball came close, but the end credits scene tied it all together.

Jerry's scene was a standout, too. Chris Parnell's reading of "Nana!" was genuinely sweet. It seems like Jerry's becoming a (mostly) willing participant in Rick's schemes instead of a helpless guinea pig. Is Rick learning that releasing his iron grip on his family makes them more attached to him, not less?

I also loved it when the Vikings called Rick a witch. He loves crystals, plays with magic, has two crows as familiars: damn right, he is!

You have to suspend your disbelief a couple of times, mainly when Bigfoot attacks Rick in the kitchen (he crushed Rick earlier like it was nothing, but now Rick walks away with a few scratches?) Still, the little character moments overshadow these flaws.

Judging by old posts that I've seen floating around, I think Rick and Morty's relationship is finally becoming what fans wanted it to be in seasons 1-3. Rick's still mean, but he's less dominant and more of Morty's mischievous co-conspirator. An alien mobster freaking out in "The Jerrick Trap" because of Rick's "touch my grandson and die" policy is straight out of fanon.

Rick's more physically gentle, and Morty responds in kind. He grabs and supports him when Bigfoot attacks him at home and touches his arm during their weird, overdramatic Bigfoot send-off. His pained cry of "Rick!" when Bigfoot nearly crushes him is heart-wrenching. Operation Phoenix is back online, but Morty's tired of watching him die!

Season five is when Rick started showing emotions on his face besides that cold, pissed-off glare--we all know the one--and in season seven, it's accelerated to Rick crying in front of others. He matches Morty's feelings instead of pretending that he's above human emotions.

Needless to say, dudebros have been flooding Adult Swim's Instagram comments and Twitter replies with "Rick and Morty is shit now!" "Rick's too nice!" "Rick and Morty has gone woke!" Justin Roiland's firing gave them more fuel, but they started even while he was still on the payroll.

Their favorite line is "Rick isn't Rick anymore!" And they're right. Rick's not the asshole from seasons 1-2 who had a couple of redeeming qualities. He's not the monster that he was in season three and parts of season four. He's not the defeated man in season five who started to realize that he's hurting people but still wanted Morty to look after him like a child.

Season six is when he started to grow up--not a lot, but enough that he began taking on adult responsibilities instead of thinking he's a teenage boy who sees another teenager as his peer. I wish we saw more therapy appointments, but while they're mostly off-screen, we're definitely seeing the effects.

This doesn't make Rick a great person or atone for what he's done. Some of his crimes are beyond atonement, and not just the obvious ones like blowing up planets. This is a universe where everyone has a body count and events that should've destroyed Earth have no effect on civilization. Death and destruction don't mean that much.

His worst crimes are the personal ones: destroying Morty's psyche in "The Vat of Acid Episode," treating his family like garbage for most of season three. You can't atone for that. You can't apologize for that.

However, I don't only judge characters by their past. I judge them by their capacity to change.

Walter White is a brilliant character, but he's not a personal favorite because his arc is a slow descent into hell. Rick's slowly climbing out of his crater, and while it doesn't erase the past, it's still happening. For me, that's more satisfying than watching a monster become a bigger monster.

Of course, he's still not above cosplaying as Odin while wearing a golden crown that literally says "GOD." But the former "no girls allowed" alpha male has become a dedicated therapy patient who's also a thirst object that would make bros cry about double standards. Sure, Rick, you're a god, now put on that weird half-shirt and prance around a little.