#pierre you beautiful man im right here

[leclercsainzz]

hello love xx, i absolutely love your smau’s! 😊

i was wondering if you could do a high infidelity smau with daniel ricciardo and pierre gasly? maybe the reader is dating pierre but she’s hooking up with danny? u can come up with why her and pierre are falling out of love or something idk lol … take care, love:)

HIGH INFIDELITY

PAIRINGS: pierre gasly x fem!reader / daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

TYPE: social media au

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo and 573,947 others

yourusername: miami photo dump <3

tagged: @pierregasly

view 5,846 comments

user: parents!!!

user: heRE BEFORE PIERRE!!!

user: literally my favorite couple in the paddock 💗

pierregasly: perfect 😍

pierregasly: love you 😘😘😘

↳ yourusername: ❤️

↳ user: i love them 😭😭

user: liked by pierregasly

user: my wife 😍😍 sorry pierre:)

user: you’re soo beautiful, i swear 😩

user: @pierregasly i want your girlfriend

user: parents are cute 😍😍

user: you’re so pretty <33

danielricciardo: i wonder who took that last pic

↳ yourusername: just some jobless guy, idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

↳ danielricciardo: totally not offended or whatever 🙄

↳ yourusername: 😊

↳ user: these two 🤣🤣

↳ user: i love this friendship tbh

user: not her calling danny jobless 😭😭😭 LMAO

user: cutie 😍😍😍

user: my fav couple!!!

selenagomez: 😍😍😍

↳ yourusername: ❤️❤️

user: pretty girl 😍

user: you and pierre are so cute together ❤️

user: my pierreyn heart 🥰🥰

user: idk if im jealous of pierre or if im jealous of pierre

↳ user: isn’t that the same thing? 😂

↳ user: she’s jealous of pierre … that’s the point lol

user: she’s soooooo 😍😍😍😩😩😩

user: pierre, can you fight? 🤔

user: yn 😍😍

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, estebanocon and 673,037 others

yourusername: 🤷🏼‍♀️

view 6,528 comments

pierregasly: belle 😘

see translation: beautiful

pierregasly: ❤️❤️

maxverstappen1: last slide is a mood

user: the audacity he has to like AND comment 😭

↳ user: pLease 😭😭😭 the fact the he commented within the 20 secs after she posted

lilymhe: hot hot hot hot hot 😍

↳ yourusername: love yaaa, sexy 😘

isahernaez: forever in love with your eyes and you 😩

↳ yourusername: me @ you 😘😘

user: her eyes are gorgggg 😍😍😍

user: well shit, indeed

user: cant believe pierre cheated on her, bro ☹️

↳ user: how do you know he cheated on her? genuinely?

↳ user: he was literally seen with his ex multiple times??? first time taking a “stroll”, second time leaving a hotel, and now they’re just casually having dinner?? nahhh

charlottesiine: 😍😍😍😍 pretty girl!!

↳ yourusername: that’s youuu ❤️

user: did p***** really like and comment ?? 💀💀

charles_leclerc: roses are reds just fyi

↳ yourusername: and violets are blue just fyi

↳ carlossainz55: and purple too just fyi

↳ yourusername: yea, yea

user: beautiful as always 😩

user: pie*re better be crying in a corner right now

user: his loss, babe

danielricciardo: nice eyebrows 👍🏼

↳ yourusername: thanks, mate 😌

alexandrasaintmleux: you’re sooo gorgeous 😍

↳ yourusername: 😘😘😘😘

user: the way she responded to everyone expect him 🤣🤣

↳ user: as she should!

user: vroom vroom guy better watch his back

imessage

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, isahernaez and 659,920 others

yourusername: cheers 🥂

view 4,736 comments

danielricciardo: 🥂🥂

user: see ladies, it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are .. if a man is going to cheat, he’s going to cheat 😒

user: gorgg 😍😍

maxverstappen1: 🥂 cheers, mate

lilymhe: OBSESSED WITH YOUUU 😮‍💨

↳ yourusername: love yaaaa, luvvv ❤️

↳ lilymhe: *kisses* 😘😘😘

↳ alex_albon: yoooo???? 🤨

user: what a woman 😩

luisinhaoliveria99: amorrrrr 😍

translation: love

↳ yourusername: missing youu 😩

↳ luisinhaoliveria99: missing you too 😔

alexandrasaintmleux: are you perhaps single? bc WOAHH 😮‍💨

↳ user: yes, she’s single

alexandrasaintmleux: marry me??? 😩😩

↳ yourusername: waiting for my ring;)))

pierregasly: 😍😍😍😍😍

↳ user: the AUDACITY 😤

↳ user: boy, byeeeeeeeee

yukitsunoda0511: 🤩🥂 cheeeeeerrrrrsss

↳ user: they have such an underrated friendship

user: she’s sooo beautiful!! 😩😩

user: pierre is soo lucky, omg

user: mother stays serving 😍😍😍

user: her eyes are EVERYTHING!!!!

taylor_hill: 😍😍 sooo beautiful

kendalljenner: lawddddd 😍

champagnepapi: 😍😍

↳ user: what is drake doing here??? 😭😭😭😭

↳ user: he probably heard she’s single again 🤣

↳ user: we don’t even know if she’s single tho

imessage

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, kendalljenner and 658,848 others

yourusername: tomfoolery p1 🤪

view 6,625 comments

user: why is pierre still in her likes?

user: i’m so confused are her and pierre still together or?

↳ user: i think he got back with kika, no?

↳ user: no, i’m pretty sure they’re still together or sum

user: i NEED to know who sent that message!!!!!

user: i know yn and pierre haven’t spoken out whether they’re still together or not but i hope he wasn’t the one who sent her that message cause i will rip his head ansksmslalsla 😡

danielricciardo: homies, you say? does that mean i get a goodnight kiss? 😉

comment has been deleted

user: BODY

user: for some reason i thought i saw danny had commented

lilymhe: wheRE’S MY GN KISS?!!???

↳ yourusername: come get it 😘

↳ lilymhe: OMW

pierregasly: i called you ❤️

↳ yourusername: i watched it ring

↳ user: nOOOO 😭😭😭

↳ user: heR respond nalajdosks 💀

↳ user: that’s foul

kendalljenner: stunning as always 😍😍

user: im OBSESSED with your eyes, i swear 😩

user: pretty girl, indeed ❤️

user: the way pierre liked and had the audacity to comment

↳ user: her respond to his “i called you” comment took me out, i was NOT expecting that 💀

user: she’s literally so pretty

user: drop the body work out routine!!! please!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

user: pierre deserves better tbh 🥺🥺🥺💔

↳ user: please tell me you’re joking ?

↳ user: of course i’m joking

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 785,937 others

danielricciardo: life recently

view 7,937 comments

maxverstappen1: 😏

↳ user: MAX, WHAT DO U KNOW?!!!?

user: who’s the girl??!??!??

user: guys, we’ve officially lost him 😭😭😭😭

↳ user: STOP NOOOOO

yukitsunoda0511: glad to have you back! 🤩

yourusername: yesssirrrrr

↳ danielricciardo: 😎

lewishamilton: welcome back, mate!

user: last post???!???

user: feel bad for nyck but im glad he’s back!! ❤️❤️❤️

user: is that yn in the last slide??

↳ user: she’s literally blonde 💀

charles_leclerc: proud to have you back ❤️

user: say sike rn

user: STILL CANT BELIEVE HES BACK 😭

user: i missed that damn smile 😩😩

user: anyone know who the girl is???

↳ user: maybe his new girl? 😭😭😭

user: i NEED ANSWERS!!! WHO IS THE GIRL IN THE LAST SLIDE?!??!?!??

user: can’t believe i lost him again 💔💔💔💔

↳ user: he was never yours to being with

pierregasly: 🤩🤩

↳ user: not the cheating fucker 🙄

↳ user: are him and yn officially done or??

↳ user: pretty sure, yes … she was seen with a new guy a few weeks ago soooo

carlossainz55: welcome back! ❤️❤️

user: still can’t process the fact that he’s back, how i’ve missed seeing him, omg 🥺🥺🥺

pt 2?? 👀

[enchantestuff]

cursed crown (1) - pierre gasly

in which sneaking into Pierres kingdom only means one thing

warnings: smut, royalty au so there's that, language maybe?

please please please let me know what you all think

“Are you alright?” you heard Pierre quietly call from the window above you. You had just arrived at his castle and were currently trying to climb up to the kitchen window, admittedly with no help from the prince himself.

“A little bit of help would be nice, Your Highness” you scoffed. Pierre laughed at the title you gave him but obliged nevertheless, leaning out of the window and stretching his arm downwards, waving it in front of your face teasingly. You rolled your eyes as you grabbed hold of it, “I thought I was supposed to be the mean one out of the two of us” you muttered when you finally climbed through the window and planted your feet firmly on the ground. You brushed some dirt away from your coat before finally meeting his beautiful blue eyes.

“Perhaps you're rubbing off on me, my lady,” Pierre grinned. He grabbed hold of your hand and quickly led the two of you out of the grand kitchen, carefully glancing across corridors and hiding behind walls as maids and a variety of guests walked through his pristine palace. You thought you would have been used to sneaking around his home by now, you had been doing it for months after all, but the trek from the kitchen to his bedroom was never an easy one. Even though Pierre had repeatedly confessed to you that this certain day of each month was the quietest, there still seemed to be countless people roaming the halls.

“I do quite hope you haven't acquired only my bad traits, Pierre,” you whispered, quickly glancing behind you as you ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. This was the riskiest part of your journey. The stairs that led up to his bedroom were open for anyone and everyone to see, whether it be from the inside balcony above or from the spacious hall below.

Pierre laughed at your comment, quickly shutting his bedroom door behind him and twisting his body around to face you. He placed his hands on your hips as he led you further into his bedroom. “Are you insinuating that you have any desirable qualities, my love?” he joked, his beloved silly grin quickly making its way onto his face causing your own smile to erupt on your own. These moments with Pierre were the only times you could truly be yourself and they didn't come around too often.

“Well of course, your highness” you smiled, snaking your hands up his arms to rest on his biceps. Pierre jokingly cocked an eyebrow at you, his hands trailing lower down your body, unable to keep them still for a second.

“And why is that?” he pondered, frowning slightly as you pulled away from him to take off your coat and climb onto his freshly made bed, getting comfortable in the silk sheets before peeking at him through your lashes.

“Because you crawl into bed with me every month” you teased. Your eyes trailed across his bedside table, smiling at the familiarity of it. Since the beginning of your late night rendezvous the contents of the table had never changed. There always lay a map of Othain, a journal which he had forbidden you to read and his beloved crown, the one that always lay atop of his head except during these moments with you and of course, when he was sleeping.

You carefully picked the crown up from where it lay and placed it onto your own head. It was much lighter than your own, less jewels scattered around it. It was a breath of fresh air. You didn't feel suffocated wearing it. Didn't feel weighed down by what it symbolized. “Now as your queen, i command you to come over here, for i have been deprived of your touch for far too long”

Pierre chuckled at your words, his steps towards his bed were deliberately slow. He knew how to tease you and from the glare you sent his way, he knew it was working. He crawled onto his bed, positioning himself on top of you and adjusting his crown on your head. “Well then, your majesty, I suspect that I am obliged to prove myself to you?” he jokingly questioned.

“Those are quite possibly the smartest words to leave your lips, my love” you commented. Unable to contain yourself any further, you pulled him towards you, finally connecting your lips after weeks apart from one another. Pierre didn't hesitate to kiss you back, but the short lasting kiss was not what you expected and a frown appeared on your face the minute he pulled away. “As much as I love your teasing, Pierre, I would really prefer it if you didn’t indulge in those habits right now.”

He smirked evilly as he trailed one of his hands down your thigh. “Is her majesty upset with my actions?” he pondered, his smirk not once leaving his face as he crawled further down the bed. Kisses were scattered across your thigh and the silent frustrated sigh that left your lips was a good enough answer for Pierre.

“Her majesty thinks she should get what she wants,” you selfishly spoke. You pulled lightly on Pierre's hair, a desperate attempt to get you closer to him again, to remove his lips from your thigh and place them on your own instead. Was that really too much to ask for?

“Well, I personally think she needs to stop being a brat and shut up for once in her life.” Your lips parted to scold him for his language but instead of rude comments, moans of pure delight seemed to leave your lips as Pierre attached his mouth to your core. He knew how to shut you up and for once in your life, you weren't complaining.

You tugged on his hair, pulling him closer into you as your head fell back in pleasure. Pierres crown slipped to fall beside you on the pillow but you paid it no mind as you felt pleasure pass through you like lightning bolts. “Oh Pierre,” you moaned as he lapped at your core similar to a man deprived of a meal. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Pierres fingers dug into your thighs as he moved to suck on your clit. “Shit,” you cursed as you felt the familiar knot begin to build in your stomach. After spending so much time with you and your body, Pierre believed he knew you inside out, which as a result meant he knew exactly when you were going to cum. He felt oh so evil as he brought you to your peak, only to pull away from you at the last second. The frown on your face was enough to make him feel slightly guilty. Only slightly.

“I am going to declare war on you, Pierre Gasly, '' you seethed, completely unsatisfied and now purely annoyed. You hadn’t trekked all the way to his kingdom in the middle of the night just for him to bring you towards the most amazing pleasure imaginable and leave you high and dry at the last moment.

“I'm afraid you don't have the power to do that yet, love” he grinned. He didn't give you any time to come up with a witty reply as he placed a chaste kiss to your lips before undressing himself in front of you.

“Is this your form of apologizing?” because well, it was working, there's just something about a handsome prince undressing before your very eyes that got you going.

“I was planning on making you cum over and over again, love” he spoke, stretching his arm out beside your head in order to place his crown back on your head. You looked so powerful with it on. You always looked powerful, but his own crown laying in your hair brought freshness to you that he didn't know was possible. It made his chest lighten and butterflies erupt in his stomach. It made him feel five again. “But if this is enough im happy to stop here and continue another time.”

You scoffed at him. Keeping one hand on the crown, you trailed your hand down your body, gripping onto your breast, maintaining eye contact with him as you did so, before moving further down your body. You ran your fingers up and down your folds, spreading the wetness gathered there before inserting one inside. “If you cant pleasure me, i guess i'll have to do it myself,” you muttered, knowing deep down that there was nothing Pierre hated more than you pleasuring yourself in front of him. It felt like a betrayal. Like he wasn’t enough.

Your plan succeeded spectacularly, as they always did, and in no time he was positioned on top of you, his tip teasingly brushing against your entrance. He dragged your hand away from your core and held it above your head. His grip was almost death-like and you found yourself relishing in the pain it brought.

“Don't doubt me for a second, love” Pierre grunted in your ear as he tapped his cock against your clit. You bit your lip at the sensation but allowed him to continue with his scolding. You knew there was nothing but love behind his words and so, to no surprise, you got more excited with each word that fell from his lips. “I think you know first hand the kind of pleasure I can bring you.” You gasped at the feeling of him filling you up. After nearly two weeks of not seeing each other, the sensation of him inside you was better than you had remembered. You transferred his crown onto his own head, an indication that whatever power you had over him was now practically non-existent. You were truly at his mercy.

“I'm sure you haven't forgotten the many times i've made you scream, love. I can do it again if your memory has begun to fail you.”

Pierre was always one to live up to his word. His sharp deliberate thrusts made your eyes roll back and several moans escaped your lips. You haven't been with any other man except Pierre and you would never need to. He knew your body more than you did and the delight that he brought you was extraordinary.

The squeezing of your wrist made your eyes snap open. His beautiful eyes were already watching you withering underneath him. A look of pure adoration plastered on his face as his hips continued to move at a rapid pace. “Shit, Pierre”

Pierre shook his head at you, a lopsided grin replacing his usual smirk as he leaned down to kiss your chest. “That's not what i want to hear, love.”

He was playing your own game against you, but you were too full of gratification to care. “P- please, your highness.” A blush crept up your cheeks at the seriousness of your own voice. You were no longer mocking him with his title but moaning it in pure delight.

Pierre cocked his head at you, “Please what, love? Use your words.” Tingles made its way onto your skin from kisses he scattered over your neck, goosebumps trailing in their wake. You didn't even process your words until they were out in the open.

“Fuck me like your life depends on it.”

And he did. His thrusts became unbelievably precise, his free hand roamed your body, circling and squeezing all the right places while his other intertwined with yours. You knew there would be marks left from where he had held on too hard, but you didn't see it as a mark of pain rather than an indication of what had gone on between you two.  A reminder for the next long two weeks ahead of you.

The clenching of your walls for the second time that night indicated to Pierre you were close. “Hold on, love” he ushered. Something that was incredibly hard to do when he was pounding into you like an animal and circling your clit like he was under a spell.

“I - i can't,” you sobbed. You wanted so bad to release the knot in your stomach, to catch the orgasm you had been chasing all night.

“I said hold it.” He was in control, that much was clear, but you could only hold on for so long until your body couldn’t take it anymore.

“P - pierre, fuck!”

“That's it, love,” Pierre groaned in your ear, “Hold on for just another moment, such a good girl for me.” Your eyes rolled back and your gripped onto his hand for dear life. “Don't know what id do without you.” Your heart skipped a beat and tears began welling in your eyes. “Look so pretty right now, taking me like the queen you'll soon be.” Your breath increased and a whimper left your lips.

“You can let go now, love.”

Nights with Pierre were often sleepless. You had plenty of time to sleep when you were alone in your bedroom. Two nights each month you spent facing the beautiful prince, talking about utter nonsense until your cheeks hurt from smiling too hard and your eyes drooped from being awake for too long.

“Im being sent somewhere tomorrow,” you whispered into the darkness, playing with his hands as you dared to break the silence around you. You could feel him tense up next to you, obviously assuming the worst and imagining an attack his own kingdom. His own people. “Not you, “ you reassured, your heart fluttering when he immediately relaxed beside you, “Some rebels gathering together behind the mountains, I’ll have to leave early in the morning.”

It hurt you to cut your already short time with Pierre even shorter, but duty called and once your father demands your presence on a mission, you had no choice than show up.

“I hate the fact you have to go out on these stupid battles,” Pierre confided. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you all night, wanting to imprint the image of your face in his mind until the next time he saw you again.

“Well, unlike you, I have to prove myself to everyone.” It was the harsh reality of your world, one that you were reminded of at each public event you attended. You were a woman and for that reason, deemed unworthy of ruling.

“You wouldn’t have to prove yourself to anyone if you ran away with me,” he reminded. Without fail, every time you met up with Pierre, he brought up the idea of running far away to another kingdom, one where the two of you could live like commoners and not have to worry about the state of a kingdom nor dooming battles. It was a daydream that both frightened and enticed you in the best ways possible.

“You really think you can survive without all this luxury?” you pondered, your hands immediately running up and down the silk sheets on top of you as your eyes floated across the numerous jewels and paintings scattered around his room.

“With you next to me?” he asked. His hand came to rest on your jaw, moving your face closer to his own as he spoke his true desires out loud, “Of course.”

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

"And I’m damn proud of you, because you survived another day." (Ms. Venable x reader,

hiyaa :3 i wrote this yesterday while we were stuck in traffic...so idk lol

summary: You are depressed coz of the apocalypse and your girlfriend wants to help you..idk i’m bad in smt like that :’)

warnings: depression, talking about suicide, pills

“momma im in love with google translate”

"Maybe I'm going crazy now, but I saw a young woman in the hallway in front of the library last night", Mr. Gallant said  at the dinner tonight

Timothy just shrugged.

"It must have been some Gray who got lost", he muttered and stabbed the little cube in front of him with his fork.

Mister Gallant rolled his eyes.

"No I swear!", Replied the hairstylist. "I know all the Grays by now and I've never seen her before and she wore purple."

Stu, who was sitting next to the man, suppressed a laugh.

"You've probably seen a ghost, I said it's only a question of time before the first of us commits suicide."

"Or until Miss Venable killed everyone who didn't obey her rules", Coco added in a whisper and made the others laugh.

Unlucky Miss Venable wasn't deaf.

"What nonsense .." hissed the red-haired woman at the other end of the table.

"I promise you, the only ghost that will haunt around here is Mister Gallant's, should he wander around the Outpost one more time."

Immediately everyone stopped laughing and all eyes were on Miss Venable, who now stood up without a word to go out of the room.

"Or her ghost, if she continues to act as if we were her subjects ..", Coco mumbled quietly before she turned back to her 'dinner'.

------------

Miss Venable ran through the corridors of her outpost to get to her room.

What those idiots at the table had said worried her. Not because she cared about other people's opinions, simply because they were right. The thing with the ghost was just a joke, but it was, what you basically were...a ghost.

Ever since you first met before all of this, you had been struggling with depression and an apocalypse was unlikely to improve your condition. She had decided it was better if the other residents of the outpost didn't find out about your existence. Which wasn't a problem, because most of the day you were just lying in bed tired anyway.

"Hey princess .." she said gently as she entered your bedroom. Her eyes fell on you in concern. Like the days before, you lay buried in your blanket and the only thing what she could see was your disheveled hair, which had become greasy. One would have thought you would have been dead, had your chest not slowly raised and lowered again.

Mina closed the door behind her, before crossing the room to sit next to you on the edge of the bed. She carefully pulled the covers down to reveal your face. Without emotion, you stared with bleary eyes into the flame of the torch that hung on the wall.

"How do you feel?", Mina whispered and pushed a few strands of your hair from your face.

"I missed you ..", you answered in a dry voice and Mina could feel a pang in her chest when she heard it.

"I'm here now", she muttered as she put her hand on your cheek.

She looked sadly into your cloudy eyes and knew that you probably wished you weren't alive any longer.

You cleared your throat and turned your gaze to Mina. And Mina could see that you were trying to bring a small smile to your chapped lips.

"I took my pills .." you said and Mina's eyes lit up at your words.

"Thats great, princess!", she called and smiled lovingly at you.

"I'm proud of you."

"And I ate the cubes",  you added as you pull the blanket a little higher over your shoulders. "Even they were disgusting."

"You are such a good girl",  Mina muttered before bending over to press her lips against the warm skin of your temple.

"I'll have a quick shower before I get to bed with you",  she explained and got up to look at you thoughtfully.

"Do you want to join me?"

You looked at her for a few seconds with narrowed eyes.

"I look like shit don't I?" You finally said as you stood up with shaky legs and held onto her arm, which she held out to you.

"Don't say that", Mina replied as she led you into your bathroom. "You are beautiful as always, Princess".

Together with Mina's help, you manage to shower. It was unbelievably exhausting for Mina to stand so long without her cane and the fact that she now also helped you to wash, bordered on a miracle.

After both of you showered and dried your hair, you climbed into your bed and you could finally curl up in your girlfriend's arms.

"I forgot to ask how your day was".  Mina heard you whisper in the dark while rubbing her hands over the bare skin of your back.

She pondered briefly what to answer you. Her day had been shitty. Those selfish, rich assholes were just annoying.

"My day was okay", she mumbled and suddenly she remembered the conversation at dinner.

"Why didn't you tell me, you were in the library last night?" She added without sounding reproachful.

"How do you know that?" You asked confused as you started to play with the hem of her purple nightgown. When Mina didn't answer you continued.

"I wanted to read last night so I went to the library to get a book."

Mina hesitated a few seconds before answering. Somewhere it was great, you had left your room for the first time in weeks, but on the other hand she disapproved the thought of you, wandering through the corridors of the outpost at night.

"You could have woken me up, I would have gone with you." she said finally.

"Did you at least be able to read?"

"I gave up after the first three sentences", you sighed.

"It was just too much."

Your girlfriend wrapped her arms around you a little tighter when she heard the regret in your voice.

"It's okay .." she hummed. "The only important thing right now, is that you survived another day. I'm proud of you princess", she muttered, suppressing a yawn before closing her eyes and falling asleep a few minutes later.

She told you that every evening.

---------------------

You had been in this outpost for almost two months and you got tired of waking up every morning with a fear of opening your eyes. Because a part of you still had the hope,that it was just a nightmare. But whenever you opened your eyes, instead of staring out of the window of your bedroom, you stared into the fire of the torch, thag hung next to the bed and all your hopes died.

You found yourself ungrateful and you could think of countless people, who would have deserved your place in the Outpost much more than you did. You weren't anyone and just because Mina was your girlfriend you were still alive. That was unfair.

Of course you could see how worried Mina was about you and you hated yourself for it. The world had come to an end and Mina, as the head of this outpost, paid her attention to you, the poor little wreck that couldn't even shower by itself.

You pulled the blanket a little tighter around your shoulders when a slight breeze made you shiver and sent goosebumps all over your body. It had been a stupid idea to leave your room again, but you had to promise Mina that you would take your pills and now you were looking for the kitchen, if there was something like that here, to get a glass of water.

Usually Mina brought you these things and you couldn't blame her for forgetting today.

It was currently 10 p.m. and you were already in your pajamas while walking barefoot through the outpost to get some water.

"Oh my god. Gallant was right, it's haunted here", a shrill voice suddenly called from behind you and made you flinch. You turned slowly around and looked with narrowed eyes into the face of a blonde woman, who came up to you and stood in front of you with folded arms.

"Are you a purple?" She asked you frowning and you nodded curtly.

"And whats your name?" She asked further.

"Y / N", you mumbled and decided at the same moment, that you didn't like this woman.

"Well, Y / N, I've never seen you here before",

the blonde cocked her head and looked at you piercingly as

you looked away from her and looked embarrassed at your feet.

"I spend a lot of time in my room."

"Your room?" Asked the woman confused.

"Which room do you live in exactly? To the best of my knowledge, all of the rooms in the outpost are occupied. You can't have a room of your own-"

"I should go now", you muttered as you turned to move away from this annoying woman, but she grabbed your wrist.

"Just wait until Miss Venable finds out", she said, looking down at you smugly. "You know, she-"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Mina's loud voice at the end of the hall made you both drive around to her.

The blonde immediately let go of your wrist and pointed with outstretched fingers at your trembling form.

"This is the woman Mister Gallant was talking about", she said and looked at you disparagingly.

"You see? It's not haunted here", Mina hissed as she approached you both. "As tightly as you have gripped her wrist, she can't be a ghost."

"I've never seen her here before, how is that possible?" Asked the annoying woman and you winced again when her shrill voice boomed in your ears.

"Maybe because your selfish ass is too busy with itself?", Mina funodded angrily at the blonde, who thought with open mouth what she should answer, but Mina got ahead of her.

"I think you should go to bed now, before you say anything you might regret later", Mina kept her voice lowered while she spoke and sounded dangerous at the same time.

The woman next to you looked at you and then at Mina one more time before turning and reluctantly went down the hall.

"Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt", Mina said to you while she watched the blonde disappear into one of the rooms and you knew that she meant the woman's name.

"What are you doing here, princess?", asked your girlfriend and grabbed the hand that this woman, Coco, had just grabbed, to gently stroke the back of your hand with her thumb.

"I wanted to get some water.. you know, for the pills", you mumbled.

"And then this woman came."

"Go back to our room, it's cold," Mina cooed and gently squeezed your hand.

"I'll get you water."

"Thanks .." you said curtly and let go of her hand before turning around to go back to your room.

When Mina came to your room less than five minutes later, you were already buried in bed under your blanket again and only your head was sticking out.

"I've got your water", she muttered and walked across the room to put the glass on your bedside table. You mumbled a little "thank you", reached for the glass to wash down the pills.

As you drank, your eyes were glued on Mina, who crossed the room to lock your door and you could see her grimace with every step she took.

"You are in pain", you noticed shortly after you put your glass back on the table.

"Honey?" You kept trying as she ignored you.

"I'm fine," she growled without looking at you.

"Stop lying to me."

Again she didn't answer and just sat on the edge of her bed.

Worried you stared holes in her back while you chewed on your cracked lower lip. She always did that .. Whenever she felt bad and you noticed, she ignored you.

"Okay, come here", you sighed and climbed over the bed to sit cross-legged behind her.

"What is this supposed to be, Princess?"

Mina sounded confused when she felt you carefully pull the zipper of her dress down.

"I take care of you", you muttered and also pulled the zipper of her white lace blouse down to expose her back.

"Y / N, you really don't have to. I don't-"

"Shut up, Mina!", you growled and leaned over to take the lotion off her bedside table. You opened the jar to spread the lotion on your fingers.

"You let me know if I hurt you, right?" You whispered and when she nodded in agreement you carefully began to spread the ointment on her back.

The next minute was filled with a pleasant silence as you tried not to hurt your girlfriend and tried to be as gentle as possible. You usually did this for her every night, but for the past few weeks it had been canceled due to your health and it was obvious that she couldn't take care of it herself.

"How was your day, princess?", Mina finally asked quietly and you took a moment to think about her question.

"Better than yesterday", you said curtly while your fingers were still wandering over her serpentine spine.

"You know, everytime I close my eyes, I see faces of my friends and relatives and I wonder if this will ever end."

Mina hummed in agreement before speaking.

"I haven't had a lot of people I liked, but I can imagine how awful you feel. It may not be a comfort, but I think you will eventually get used to it."

"I don't know ,how I feel right now to be honest", you mumbled.

"Inside of me everything is so empty. I haven't shed a single tear in weeks, if you understand what I mean."

Mina nodded slowly and was about to say something when suddenly you wrapped your arms around her from behind and carefully leaned your forehead against her back.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Mina", you whispered against her skin. "And even if I'm not really showing it at the moment, I'm so grateful for everything you do for me and I love you so much."

"Oh Princess ..", Mina cooed gently as she turned around in your arms to press her lips against yours.

"I know that you love me and I love you too. And you survived another day and that's the only thing that matters at the moment."

-------------------

A few days went by and you were still a total mess.

One day you walked around the room and could tidy up something while other days you could just lie in bed and stare holes in the wall. Mina was still very worried about you and really wanted you to be fine. But she also understood that this was probably going to be difficult for you, as there was nothing to hold on to your hope.

It was already afternoon when she was on her way to your room to bring you something, that she hoped would help. And while one hand was protecting herself on her stick, she was holding the clear plastic jar in the other, that she wanted to show you.

"Hey little sunshine", she called when she came into your room to find you wrapped in her blanket. She frowned.

"Why are you lying under my blanket?"

"I missed you and the blanket smells like you", you grumbled as you pulled the blanket down to reveal your face. Your eyes wandered to the plastic can in Mina's hand.

"What's that?" You asked confused

Mina smiled as she walked over to you to sit next to you on the bed.

"This is for you", she muttered and you sat up to take the can, she held out to you in your hands.

Mina looked at you expectantly and watched with satisfaction as your eyes lit up when you recognized the contents of the box.

"Oh my god, Mina", you breathed and began to smile while your eyes stared fascinated at the red butterfly, that was fluttering around in the box.

"She came into the outpost two days ago and I had her checked for diseases", Mina explained as she brushed a few of your hair off your face.

"She is beautiful", you whispered and when Mina saw tears glistening in your eyes, she knew that it was the right decision to give you the butterfly.

"She is", she mumbled contentedly before reaching out to tap the wall of the can with her index finger.

"And do you see the little pearls, that lie in the corner on the sheet? Those are eggs, from which caterpillars will hatch at some point-"

"And then they turn into more butterflies", you finished and she nodded.

"Mina, that's great, if we do everything right, we will not only be able to save our species, theirs too", you said and looked at Mina with sparkling eyes.

"You absolutely have to show the others .."

"Oh no", Mina replied.

"The others would find it more disgusting than fascinating, so you should take care of them."

"I ugh- well, thank you", you smiled brightly at her and Mina was glad to finally see you smile again. She leaned forward to kiss you on the forehead before she put her arm around you and you could rest your head on her shoulder. And while she was watching the little butterfly like you, the smell of her lavender perfume suddenly rose to her nose and she frowned.

"Do you wear my perfume, princess?", She asked confused and of course couldn't see how you blushed.

"As I said, I missed you", you muttered.

"Please don't be mad at me, i know its weird."

"No! I think its cute", Mina said quickly uhd pressed another kiss on your hair.

"And i'm damn proud of you, because you survived another day."

[ivyglow]

Got a scenario for ya!

You, the beautiful Mel, are tapped by the producers of The Bachelorette. They want to do a season full of drama, top notch romance and torrid sexual tension, and want to give the ladies at home the chance to gawk at handsome, horny lads of athletic prowess. They acquiesce to the idea to make your 25 bachelors ALL NHL hockey players. Included are Nolan, Joel F, Mat B, Matt T, Nate Mac, Carter H, Brock B, and hell even Toews makes an appearance! The producers catch you embracing Barzy in the garden and giving into his kiss on the first night. It gets back to other 25 men in the house causing a seismic wave. Your season goes down as the hottest in franchise history. You've managed to break hearts and sticks, start rivalries and infighting (as well as incessant chirping), and after careful deliberation (and MANY kisses and tears, thank God for liquid lipstick and waterproof mascara!) you eventually reach your final 4 bachelors!!!

1) Which man had the corniest introduction?

2) Who got your first impression rose on night one?

3) Who would tell you if some of the other men weren't in it for love?

4) Who would be most sincere with his feelings?

5) Who would you select to go on beautiful dinner dates with?

6) Who would you select for outdoor dates? (Hiking, horseback riding, hot air balloon, etc.)

7) If you weren't feeling well, who's room would you go to for cuddling?

8) The best kisser?

9) The best keeper of the secrets? (Won't tell the other guys what happens between you)

10) Which guy is the "bully" or villain of the season? The comedian of the season?

11) Who got in a fight? Who lost?

12) Which men were your last 4 to be selected? (get to visit their hometown and meet parents/family)

13) Who would your family love OR hate the most?

14) Who gets a night in the lux, private fantasy suite with champagne galore and a hot tub?

4) Who got your last 2 roses?

5) Who's proposal did you accept along a windswept cliff at sunset with fireworks, a Neil Lane diamond ring, a TV wedding, and a honeymoon in Bora Bora to top off an unforgettable experience?

I’M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO ANSWER THIS!!!!!!! I was always like “I need to give it more thinking” and then I went on hiatus and all. sorry baby!!! also: this ask?! absolutely amazing!! your level of creativity I loved it!!!!!!!1

I’m not even surprised w this scenario because I would def kiss mat during the first day, no doubts about it lol. I’ve never really watched the bachelorette, so I’m taking I should answer these questions using all players right?! (i did it using just my four finalists but I think it fits better using others as well)

let’s do this *crack knuckles* hehe

1) Which man had the corniest introduction?

beezer (idk how to explain and I won’t even try lol)

2) Who got your first impression rose on night one?

mmmmm that’s a good question, I’ll go w kandre!

3) Who would tell you if some of the other men weren't in it for love?

subban! he strikes me as someone who would be really honest it doesn’t matter the topic (not that the others wouldn’t, but I think he wouldn’t be taken aback, he would tell me without thinking twice).

4) Who would be most sincere with his feelings?

mathieu (I’m just now hopping in his train, but he gives me the I-like-to-communicate energy)

5) Who would you select to go on beautiful dinner dates with?

Chris kreider def! (man speaks four (?) languages and I feel like we would get along perfectly)

6) Who would you select for outdoor dates? (Hiking, horseback riding, hot air balloon, etc.)

barzy, no doubts!!!

7) If you weren't feeling well, who's room would you go to for cuddling?

beau (he could also bake me something eh jk haha)

8) The best kisser?

pldaddy...pierre!

9) The best keeper of the secrets? (Won't tell the other guys what happens between you)

Matthew tkachuk (don’t ask me why, I just gotta a feeling he’s great w it kajskaj)

10) Which guy is the "bully" or villain of the season? The comedian of the season?

I’ll go w a comedian cuz no villains allowed on my island jajaja the comedian would be tyler seguin, have you ever seen homeboy partying?! wild! and his laugh *chef kiss*

11) Who got in a fight? Who lost?

matthew tkachuk (pretends to be shocked lol) and jake virtanen! jakey lost :(

12) Which men were your last 4 to be selected? (get to visit their hometown and meet parents/family)

mat barzal, anthony beauvillier, mathieu joseph and pierre luc dubois

13) Who would your family love OR hate the most?

between the finalists I think my family would love barzy because he can be LOUD yk and we all have this chaotic energy in here lol (I don’t think they would hate any of the four tbh)

14) Who gets a night in the lux, private fantasy suite with champagne galore and a hot tub?

pierre

15) Who got your last 2 roses?

mat and mathieu

16) Who's proposal did you accept along a windswept cliff at sunset with fireworks, a Neil Lane diamond ring, a TV wedding, and a honeymoon in Bora Bora to top off an unforgettable experience?

I don’t think y’all will be surprised but: barzy lol

✨🍾🍾👰🏾🤵���🌈🤍💖✨🤪💫

NONNY THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO ANSWER!! THANK YOU, YOU’RE AMAZING AGAIN IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER TO REPLY <3 ily!

[jojosthetic-boogaloo]

@staruplatinum says: hey so I’m sending this as a submission because I don’t want to send multiple asks. I hope this isn’t to too long. Thanks in advance and I hope your account gets 11111100000000x more followers because you deserve it. Such a cool and unique idea! 💓

anyways,, I’m a bisexual Italian girl, but I prefer men. Im 20. I’m a Taurus (super stubborn and reserved) and I’m quite shy. I am a survivor of abuse, because of that, the last few years of my life have involved me being extremely shy and quiet. I can relate a lot to Jotaro because honestly - I rarely talk. Especially with new people. I have really bad anxiety lol and I try not to get too involved with drama. In my free time I workout/weightlift. I enjoy helping others, and I love children. My close friends consider me the mom of the group because I take care of everyone, and I always put people before myself. I’m short (5’2), and I have a toned physique that I maintain every day at the gym. (I take working out and eating healthy super serious xD) my hair is naturally black but I currently have it dyed silver. I love to cook + clean 🧼

There’s not much else to say ;___; I just want one of these sexy men from the jojo universe to protect me and hold me ~ ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

Honey hi! Dia here! Much much much love from this (currently melting from Spain’s heatwave) gal! You’re so sweet dear!! And I can only wish to get recognized out there ;W; But, I must accomplish being known with consistency and effort! So I’ll do my best for you guys!

Rambling over! Onto your lovely matchup! Since you did tell me in DMs that you wanted a moodboard, I’m adding one here too, yowza! 

Now now, though at first it was an intense “JUST SLAP JOTARO IN HERE” kind of reaction, I decided to think it over! I gave you a brochup just because of this simple fact! Hope you like it! (If you don’t, you’re always free to tell me to think it over or redo anything you’re not good with! I really won’t get mad I just want you all to enjoy what I write for ya!)

Translation: “Let’s change the world together, my love”

Jean Pierre Polnareff!

You actually met at the gym! He was new to this one, and he so happened to get an instant crush on the hot silver haired girl weightlifting for her life in a most ridiculously gracious way. Why were you the only one there though? He didn’t care much, for now.

He walked up to you, trying to make himself look cool and resting on a weights machine next to you, his arms crossed and a flirty smile on his lips. When you noticed, you rolled your eyes. Not this type of dude again. When you were about to start with your usual “Listen dude…”, he spoke up, and you didn’t expect his speech to be… like that.

“Hey there! Our hair matches! That’s pretty cool right? We could be gym buddies, that way we match in more stuff, right?” He said, an almost childish grin on his face. Was this man for real or was he just that oddly, innocently cute. You rose from your position, leaving the weights to the side and facing him with your arms crossed as well. 

“Where did you come out from?” You asked, unintentionally aloud. And he quickly answered. “France! And if you ask as of right now, the door right there!” You couldn’t help but chuckle, okay, the guy was funny. Oddly cute for the respectable amount of muscle he packed teamed with his height, but no matter, cute.

“Alright… french guy, you can be my gym bud. I warn you, I get here early.” He gave you a thumbs up and a wide smile. “Três bien! Now, let me sit right here and do some bench pressing, buddy.”

You never actually got around to share each other’s name that first day. Nevertheless, you were surprised to see him appear there the next day right about 10 minutes after you did. How did he manage to get there in such close range of time when you never even told him when you exactly clocked in? 

“Bonjour mademoiselle! I didn’t quite catch your name yesterday, what was it?” You stood there, kind of still confused on his punctuality and shook your head. “Well, I’m Y/N, pleased to… meet you? Again?” He gave you a hearty laugh and a nod, extending his hand to shake it with yours. “And I’m Jean Pierre Polnareff, just Polnareff is fine, though, Y/N.” You timidly stretched your hand out, gently feeling his bigger, warm hand envelop yours. That was the start of your relationship; gym buddies.

As time went by, you had exchanged numbers, and texted each other about jogging routines and when you’d go to the gym to meet up. But one day, he asked through a simple text. “Could we go to the movies today?” You pondered. This was the first time Polnareff had offered to meet anywhere that didn’t imply exercise. After some doubting, you replied curtly with a “Sure.” This did not stop Jean Pierre from smiling idiotically in his apartment upon reading it. His plan was going smoothly.

When you met in the evening, you were surprised. And so was he! You looked so different in casual clothes from your more sporty usual ones. With a slight blush to his cheeks due to the pleasant surprise and thinking about how cute you looked, he offered to go kill some time before the movie started and go for a drink in the meantime. 

You sat on a newly opened healthy shakes local. As you drank your juice, Polnareff had been chatting casually about this and that, you were paying attention, really! But your eyes worked in a different wavelength than your ears. While you tried to focus on whatever he was talking about, your eyes wandered from his broad shoulders to his collarbone, to his toned pectorals and then back up to his face. His beautiful icy blue, almost grayish eyes staring back at you as he talked. He was talking… so you dragged your gaze from his eyes to his lips. Was it weird you wanted to touch them? They looked so plump and… they looked nice okay, you wanted to feel them, even if for a moment.

“Y/N, is there something on my mouth?” He seemed to have caught on with your staring and made you snap out of your thoughts. You blinked, leaving your cup down on the table and about to shake your head no. Instead, you kept staring at him, giving a small nod and leaning over the table, timidly raising your hand and muttering a very quiet “Don’t move.” 

You pressed your thumb to his lower lip, making a wiping motion as you slid it along and finally retreated. He couldn’t help but stare back at you with a deeper blush on his face, thinking on how nice that felt and how he, now even more so than before, wanted to kiss you. But he’d refrain, he respected you first and foremost.

When you finished your drinks, and the time for the movie to start had arrived, you awkwardly got up and made your way to the cinema. Once there, you sat and focused on the screen. Even though both of you could barely focus on the screen, the tension from before still on your bodies.

Halfway into the movie, you saw Polnareff had timidly let his hand rest facing up on the armrest that divided yours and his seat. Taking this silent offer, you slid your hand timidly from your thigh to gently place it on top of his, tangling your fingers together and feeling how he squeezed, upon looking up, seeing he had a childish smile on his face with his eyes glued to the screen, refusing to look back at you out of embarrassment yet.

After a few minutes of holding hands, you felt him shift slightly on his seat. When you turned around to face him, you saw he had put his whole arm on the armrest, resting on his elbow and slightly tilted to your side he kept watching, but, as you observed, he was slowly falling asleep. 

Taking this chance, you leaned close and put your temple to his, carefully nudging him to stay awake. He turned his face around to face you with a sheepish smile on his lips, giving you a nod and turning around once more to watch the rest of the movie.

When you got out of the cinema, you’d awkwardly stood next to each other in silence, only broken when Polnareff took charge and started walking slowly, offering you his hand once more with a timid smile. You took it in yours and quickly caught up to him, now both of you walking together in pleasant silence on your way back home.

It was quiet and tranquil outside, not many people were around at this time of the night. After some time, when you started recognizing the path that lead to your house, he spoke, an utterance so quiet and firm sounding that you needed to take a minute to process correctly.

“I think I’m in love with you.” He said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze once more. When he looked back down at you, his preoccupied pout turned into a tight lipped, lopsided smile on his face. You looked embarrassed, and you didn’t really look him in the eye, but the way you had tenderly clung into his arm told him everything he needed to know to feel at ease. 

Without another word spoken, since you were terrible at handling this situation even if you really wanted to speak up, you decided to rest your head on his arm, holding into it in the most sweet way you managed to, hoping the feeling came across to Jean Pierre.

“Lord have mercy, for I’ve fallen deep for this girl.” He thought.

Brochup: Jotaro Kujo & Muhammad Avdol

Jotaro Kujo because…

You’re a physically strong lady, he can get behind that, he thinks you’re really cool for it. The fact that you’re reserved much like him only adds to the mix of things he likes about you; you’re relatable, you’re real, nothing about you is fake to him. And quite honestly, he’ll fight anyone who dares say otherwise, barefisted.

You’re nice to hang with! You are chill and don’t talk much, he thanks you for this internally. What can he do, he’s bad at conversation and so are you, perfect bros.

One of those friendships that relies on being comfortable in each other’s presence without the need of words, Jotaro DIGS that, immensely so.

He secretly likes it when you teach him how to cook new things. Even if he messes up most the time, you always help him clean up and start over again! He finds you the sweetest person and most versatile in expertise he’s ever met. Except his mom, his mom and you are both beings to watch out for.

Muhammad Avdol because…

Avdol just really really likes how you treat others around you! The way you interact is so gentle and caring! He relates to that, he also likes to make those around him happy, and that’s one of the strongest points as to why he’s one of your bestest friends!

You’re good with kids, that’s very important for him. Treating with care and nurturing the youth with either love or knowledge is vital from his perspective. And you do just that! He thinks you’ll make a wonderful parent, if you ever even decide to be one, of course. He won’t ever pressure you about that subject.

He teaches you new workout techniques and loves to hear you speak about you thoughts on the gyms you train in, the people you meet in them or just your life in general while you kick into his open palm.

Teaches you new recipes and helps you improve the ones you know! He’s a great chef, so you’re always delighted when Avdol texts you a “Guess who just learnt how to cook x thing?”. That’s when you know you’re in for a fresh and wonderful cooking lesson.

[theanxiousteenager1121]

My Musical List

ALL RIGHT KIDS LISTEN UP BECAUSE IM GONNA RANT ABOUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE MUSICALS I HAVE SAVED ON SPOTIFY SO SIT DOWN

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: OKAY SO MAYBE I HAVENT LISTENED TO THE WHOLE THING BUT I CAME FOR PIPPA AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED AND THE WHOLE CAST IS AMAZING AND IDC WHAT PEOPLE SAY BUT THE NEW CAST IS GORGEOUS TOO AND IM PISSED THEY CLOSED AND I FEEL LIKE THE PRIVATE AND INTIMATE LIFE OF THE HOUSE IS UNDER APPRECIATED AND SO ARE THOSE HIGH NOTES FROM NO ONE ELSE

Les Miserables: A CLASSIC NEED I SAY MORE JESUS CHRISTZOUKKA THAT ENERGY FROM DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING GOT ME SCREECHING EVERY TIME AND I FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD DO A MARCH ON TRUMPS LIL HOUSE SINGING THAT SONG ALSO ONE DAY MORE IS JUST GORGEOUS ESPECIALLY THOSE PEOPLE THAT FLASH MOBBED IT IN A MALL AND THE CAST DID IT ALL WITHOUT AUTOTUNE AND I DREAMED A DREAM LITERALLY DESCRIBES MY LIFE SO ITS GOOD FOR EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS

In the Heights: LINNNNN AND ALSO ITS THE REAL BOP THAT FIRST SONG GOT ME JAMMIN AND I CAN RAP DAT SPANISH SO IT GETS HECKIN LIT OVER HERE AND I KNOW I CAN’T HIT THE HIGH NOTES FROM BREATHE BUT I TRY AND ALABANZA GOT ME ON THE FLOOR THINKING OF ALL MY DREAMS AND HAPPINESS THAT DIED ALONG WITH ABUELA CLAUDIA AND ALSO WHY IS CHRIS JACKSON IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF LINS PROJECTS LIKE I DON’T BLAME HIM BUT THEY THE REAL FAM LET ME SAY

Amelie: WHY DID THIS MUSICAL CLOSE AFTER LITERALLY A MONTH IM FINNA FLIP A TABLE THEY DID NOT DESERVE THIS LIKE MAYBE THE LYRICS WERE A LIL DIFFERENT BUT THAT WAS NOT AN EXCUSE TO SHUT IT DOWN BECAUSE TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS AND STAY ARE SOME OF THE ACTUAL BEST SONGS OUT THERE SO GET THAT MUSICAL BACK ONSTAGE OR SO HELP ME

The Book of Mormon: GOLLY GEE ITS JUST A LITTLE BIT OFFENSIVE BUT YOU CANT STOP BOPPIN TO THAT FANTASTIC MUSIC SO YOU REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO REACT BUT I REACT BY TURNING IT UP AND JOSH GAD AND ANDREW RANNELLS ARE GODS AND IDK WHY THE HELL SOUTH PARK PEOPLE ARE ON BWAY BUT THEY SURE KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY DOING ON BWAY SO THEY CAN STAY AND ALSO ITS FLIPPIN HILARIOUS 

Dear Evan Hansen: THATS NOT TEARS THATS JUST MY EYES RELATING TO THE LYRICS AND SWEATING

Hamilton: I CANNOT DO JUSTICE BECAUSE JUST THE IDEA OF THE PLAY, MAKING OUR FOUNDING FATHERS INTO A DIVERSE AND AMAZING CAST THAT SING TO RAP AND HIP-HOP IS PURE GENIUS AND THE MUSIC IS MY LIFE BUT THE ACTUAL STORY AND THE WAY HE TELLS IT ARE SO BEAUTIFUL SO THANK YOU LIN BECAUSE YOU AND THIS MUSICAL ARE A GIFT TO THE PLANET

Heathers: DEATH, SEX, DRUGS, AND HIGH SCHOOL, NEEDS TO COME BACK TO BROADWAY 

Moana: YEA I KNOW IT AINT A STAGE MUSICAL BUT LIN WROTE IT AND IT REPRESENTS A RARELY REPRESENTED CULTURE ALONG WITH AMAZING AND CULTURAL MUSIC AND A CAST THAT IS POLYNESIAN AND NATIVE HAWAIIAN WITH INCREDIBLE TALENT AND A WONDERFUL EMPOWERING STORY LINE AND IF YOU DONT THINK IM SCREAMING MY LUNGS OUT EVERY TIME THAT LITTLE CHIMEY NOISE FROM THE BEGINNING OF HOW FAR ILL GO COMES ON THEN YOU ARE DEAD WRONG MY DUDE

Something Rotten: CHRISTIAN BORLE. TAP DANCING EGGS. BRIAN D’ARCY JAMES. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT AND IK PEOPLE THINK ITS WEIRD BUT I LOVE IT AND FOR SOME REASON IT REMINDS ME OF THIS WEIRD ANIMATED ROMEO AND JULIET I WATCHED WHEN I WAS YOUNGER FEATURING SEALS BUT THE LINE DONT BE A PENIS THE MAN IS A GENIUS REALLY RESONATED IN MY HEART

Waitress: ONLY RECENTLY INTRODUCED TO THIS ONE BUT YESSS SHE USED TO BE MINE GOT ME DEAD

Wicked: IF YOU THINK I DONT SCREAM MY VERY ORGANS OUT TO DEFYING GRAVITY OR KNOW THE DANCE MOVES TO POPULAR THEN YOURE WRONG

Falsettos: ANDREW RANNELLSSSSSS AND ALSO WHAT AN AMAZING MUSICAL BECAUSE ITS DIVERSE HAS GREAT MUSIC IS FUNNY AND SAD AND JESUS THE PLOT IS JUST GREAT AND THERE IS A SMOL CHILD UP THERE AND THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES WITHOUT A DOUBT 

okay, that’s all. thank u

[bites-kms]

La Joie de Vivre: Paris 32mm

Just came from Le Caveau de la Huchette - yes, the jazz club from La-La-Land. I didn’t know this, until I was at the door. I was just looking for a fun place to have a drink or two on a Thursday night and what a joy I found. I literally found the joy of life, or the Parisian way - la joie de vivre.

These people, they were so immerse into the beat, it was très magnifique. Specially there was this one women, with style and grace, short hair, long earrings, long skirt -long according to her age but edgy enough let her wave and move around-, without a bra, laughing and shaking her arms towards the back while killing the dance floor at the beat and rhythm of bebop with his partner, a black man with a white haired afro, with the same big smile and crazy moves as her. It was amazing. I only felt tele transported like this before and it was at Nicky’s, the best Speakeasy bar in Buenos Aires. But this was the real deal: I am in Paris, living the late roaring 20s, in between wars after the American soldiers fought in Paris, in a lost cave right next Ile de cité, few blocks away from Notre Dame. 

photocredits: Black Label Media  Although I must confess I was expecting to meet my Ryan Gosling - and yes, I did remember our dance mov(i)es - I met Mr. PH, or Pierre-Henri, the lovely Swedish/French, who lived in Utah from Uppsala. It’s amazing to be able to connect with all these people through music, regardless of age and origin, and this was even more special due to my Swedish experience. We danced and laughed a lot. I proudly made a fool of myself and decided I’m gonna learn this dance once Im back in NYC. Then I met Maurice, a younger, intriguing French guy with whom we danced more upbeat my-hips-dont-lie songs. That was some intense moves going on there! I had such a wonderful time I couldn’t wait to come home to write about it, I hope to make justice to the amazing experience I just had. Walking down the Seine, as Owen Willson in Midnight in Paris, I came back home - to this evil, evil Airbnb, not without stoping by the Louvre and enjoying all its secrets, changing my movie switch to the Da Vinci Code.

It’s still mesmerizes me how much these narratives shape our collective perspectives on the world. I was thinking about this exact same issue while walking down my office’s street the other day, back in NY, and saw a couple of police patrols going around like crazy, with a black SUV that looked as if it was from the FBI and a small but intense manifestation. I was surprised on how quiet the protesters were after the police cars passed by and didn’t make much sense to me. That was when I finally realized I was living this meta-reality and was tricked by my very own mind: this was all a set up for Gotham and I thought it was the real deal. I couldn’t stop laughing and my mind exploded for a couple of very long minutes trying to understand and process all these realities happening at the same time in my head!  So yes, this is my tribute to them, to the movies, to those little pieces of realities that we share in 32 mm (or blue ray, but that way is not that picturesque any more) And it feels weird that I start this tribute in Paris and not in New York, but I guess the NYC experience still feels a little bit surreal to me. At least here I know I’m not staying for good, I’m just here for 10 days, so I guess that makes me way more objective, an eager observer and an obsessed analytic of every minute.

I deserved some celebration after the success on the US embassy, so I decided to start with the simplest thing: let’s go for dinner! I went for my poulette avec pomme de terre but since it only came with fries, I switched it for the plat du soir and felt a little bit of the Jack Nicholson’s magic on Something Gotta Give at the Grand Colbert restaurant.  

I ended up in the most surreal circumstances on a Friday’s night. Lost, during a thin-rainy eve in Paris, searching for hidden wifi hotspots in order to reach my destination: a typical French bistro by Le Marais. What I didnt realized, was that I was gonna run into this typical French guy called William. William, is actually a PHD professor and researcher from Atlanta- although he has been living in France since forever, and as per a Woody Allen movie, he was wearing a brown suit jacket which was double his proper size. He was also wearing bigger trousers -not pants- and we debated about morality, existence and transcendence of matter and language over the Frankfurt School, Marcuse, Horkheimer, Adorno for more than 4 hours, having wine, charcuterie and terrine. It was a very nice movie cliche to experience without even planning it!

Who knew Paris was so famous in movies? I mean, of course in the collective imagery it is, but I didn’t actually realize the size nor the amount of “featured time” Paris have in this movie so called life. After my wonderful La-La-Land experience, my expectations were high and difficult to match, but oh you, dear Amélie, that was a hell of a Saturday we shared together! 

I went to Montmartre and started my film on the Abesees station, right next to the carrousel, close to her apartment. After a beautiful morning stroll with the sun on my face and the joy on each and every single pore of my being, I found the Cafe des 2 Moulins, where she enjoys the small but amazing things of life. Little did I know that not only the creme brûlée was gonna be amazing, but the atmosphere and the memories would be as such! The waiter became my fan: he noticed I was writing in my journal and started hitting on me with the sweetest and cheesiest lines ever, talking about the movie, practicing and mixing English and French, gifting me a pain au chocolat, drawing a heart gesture on the air before giving it to me. He even dared to asked for my number in the most courageous yet sweet way imaginable! It really made my day. Thanks Jullien, that was fun! Of course I also checked out the Studio 28 Cinema, where Amelie enjoys her movies. BITES & KMS SAYS: That’s a meta-hyper reality indeed: Amelie, a fictional character which I watch, goes and watches movies to the cinema in a narrative fiction, located on the same place I am standing right now in real life, thinking and wondering about what that character would be feeling at that moment, with the difference that I am feeling it right now. Wow #mindblown

Of course, I couldn’t stop singing My Song, performed by Christian (Ewan McGregor), feeling a little bit like Satine from Moulin Rouge, while going up and down hills. I hate Boulevard de Clichy, I absolutely hate it: it’s dirty, touristy, with no style nor personality, full of weird people in the bad sense weird can be understood. But well, even though the Bal du Moulin Rouge is located there, this is not whatsoever the best part of the Quarter. So, I kept my musical dream alive and went around the other small and hidden streets. I actually found a spot, which was absolutely perfect. I needed to stop and write about it. My piece of paper said something like this: “Little pieces of Paris, small and unique as the cobblestones of their streets, where only the little birds sing and the sun warms the soul, in between the distant buzz and talks from the tourists.” I imagine a little chambre on one of those top balconies, with lovers singing to each other, having sex and drinking wine in bed at 11 am on a Sunday, waiting to be drunk again to keep sleeping. I stopped by this wonderful Bistro called Le Sancerre. I had my first glass of champagne and had a delicious lunch, falling in love with all these movies, one scene at a time.

The following day I had a very specific location in mind: the Coulee Verte Rene Dumont: secret lover gardens. Only true Parisians go there and take their dates in hopes of some French kiss action. It is quite far off the tourist circuit, and that made me realized how the US is a rough copy of the best of France, with a very local spin. The Highline, that architecture phenomenon everyone is proud of, already existed here in Paris more than a century ago, and still lingers today. So, sorry Paula Scher, there’s nothing new under the sun. And talking about the sun, this was the setting for Before Sunset. I went there to seek inspiration and to reflect upon that proper dialogue that happens in the movie. Was sex with Ethan Hawke that forgettable or was it actually remarkable? Was he really happy with his wife? Why aren’t they together? Are they meant to be? 

I guess there is just time to listen to some Nina Simone - which, for the time being, we can switch for French Edit Piaf or Italian Mina- and to whomever is asking when I’m flying back, I’m just gonna do as Ethan Hawke: 

Celine- Hey Babe, you’re gonna miss that plane. Jesse- I know.

[archive-03012022]

great comet 8/24/17 (matinee with dave malloy + blaine krauss u/s anatole)

ok so this is more for me to remember than for anyone else but here’s a song-by-song breakdown of great comet from when i saw it lol (lots about technical stuff)

i was in the top row of banquettes which is honestly the best place to sit in the entire theatre. we could see every part of the theatre (balcony and mezz included) without having to spin our heads around like owls and there was a+++ audience interaction (i’ll get to that later)

pre-show

ok so everyone literally burst out of the entrances randomly without any warning and just started talking to everyone it was great

a man with a sparkly mustache made sure we were all ok with strobe lights and if not to just deal with it and cover our eyes

i got a pierogi box thrown at my face. fun times.

theres an announcer guy that starts speaking in russian and english before just switching over to english

announcer: cameras? ensemble: NEIT!

my grandmother got super into this format and started shouting along #quality family bonding

prologue

dave malloy is a god end of story

but seriously the prologue is such a jam 

before the song actually starts theres a super sad scene of natasha saying goodbye to andrey and she hands him his coat and letters and he gives her the locket (she has a hearbreaking “no!” as he starts leaving)

the lights go from basically pitch black to full blast at the line “anD THIS IS ALL IN YOUR PROGRAM”

denee benton is so beautiful

the ensemble was roaming around everywhere and came over to where we were a LOT

bolkonsky made his entrance right next to us after his costume change right before the minor characters line by screaming and jumping through a curtain with his guitar 

the whole ensemble gathers on the platform by the doors for the beginning of pierre

pierre

dave malloy is a god end of story

while they’re all gathered watching pierre for the first bit of pierre, sonya is rubbing natasha’s back, reassuring and soothing her

i love the ensemble,,,,,, so much,,,,,,,,

helene conducts all the women dancing during “he is charming he has no sex”

the “good russian men” part singled out azudi and he looked so offended at pierre lol

all of the “ahhhh”s were magical

theres not much that hasn’t already been said about this song tbh?

oh and right after it’s over all the ensemble members drop out of their poses and deadpan, walking to the exits with bored expressions like “alright shows over, bye guys, our job is done”

moscow

marya? hates sonya so much?

but when they’re introducing each other natasha is super prim and proper and sonya does this awkward, lopsided bow with her little hand puff half hanging off brittain is such a dork im love her

natasha’s humming is so childish/naive i love it

“you’ll read to me while i K N I T”

marya casually roasting the audience? iconic

marya’s whole speech to natasha is honestly just great

mary walks between marya and natasha when she’s mentioned

private and intimate life of the house

he

draws

out

every

single

word

“people enjoy me though” got a really good laugh

gelsey bell? the godsent angel? yes, Her

B R I N G M E M Y S L I P P E R S (he finally started screaming it again)

“natasha is young and worthless and dumb” natasha literally looks so offended its great

mary picks a “suitor” from the audience and he was so confused

BOLKONSKY KISSED HIS “CHEAP FRENCH THING” ON THE LIPS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND HER DAUGHTER WAS LITERALLY DYING BEHIND HER

paul pinto’s servant character. that’s all.

marya plays the cowbell during the “where are my glasses” breakdown and generally looks disappointed in him the whole time 

natasha and bolkonskys

there was a 12 year old boy who had no clue what was happening and kept getting in the way of them putting the stools down it was great

all of bolkonsky’s interjections are met with a really quick spot on him and idk it was just super funny to me (he also did this really weird/hilarious lip trill at the end of “i do not wish to see herrrrrRRRRR”

denee and gelseys harmonies 

mary and natasha’s fake laughter

“says the mean old man in his underthings”

HOLY SHIT GUYS WAIT

WHEN MARY SAYS “AND HE LOOKED AT HER ONCE / HEAD TO TOE” BOLKONSKY MUTTERED “NOT IN MY HOUSE” AND I DIED

bolkonsky exits past marya who, once again, just sort of glared at him

no one else

the blue light change??

all of the light bulbs slowly start coming down and fading on to look like stars its gorgeous

at the “we were angels once, don’t you remember?” she said it right to this teenage girl at a table who literally grinned and turned away to be like “holy shit that just happened” it was really sweet

natasha is so innocent throughout the whole song its honestly so beautiful

andrey is shown in a blue spotlight with snow falling around him and he unwinds the red ribbon from her letters (and wraps it around his wrist like a bracelet for safe keeping) and starts reading them 

when he leaves and runs into the darkness natasha steps into his spot under the snow and starts singing the “you and i”s after him

the opera

marya is such a godmother is so cute

sonya’s narration is gorgrous and i’ll never get over it

ensemble members twirl mirrors around natasha at the beginning

this song makes me think about how important it is for natasha to have people like her which makes the ending even more sad :(

helene’s entrance is honestly so her idek how else to explain it

pierre’s fist pump when he says “though i’m enjoying myself at home :D”

marya is super obvious about mentioning pierre to helene since she’s with dolokov

the curtain “rising” is shown by the lightbulbs going back into the ceiling

the opera is such a good satire

GELSEY’S GOT SOME PIPES

when the dancers are “dying” they’re making this really funny, drawn out sighing noises and its amazing

denee’s face was hilarious after the dance seen she was just like :o

anatoles entrance is so extra

with every little *bum* *bum* he moved his head in a different direction and the lights flashed

helene and anatole have this creepy little moment where they’re standing under a light bulb and anatole taps his cheek for her to kiss but turns his head so she kisses him on the lips and right as their lips touch the lightbulb goes out

the opera singers continue miming in the doorways of the balcony and it was really cool to see

the ensemble was in costumes on the stairs acting out the opera as well

not only was anatole constantly looking at natasha, so was helene,,,,,,,,,

natasha hallucinates andrey’s dead body being torn apart, holding out the ribbon that held her letters together towards her

natasha and anatole

anatole checks himself out in the mirror before entering the box (blaine was really funny in purposefully pulling down a single curl over his forhead for ~fashion~)

i feel like he sings deeper than anatole but its wayyyy smoother like damn

when he’s asking natasha to the costume tournament her little “oh (:? oh,,,, i (:” when shes feigning modesty gives me life

blaines voice holy s h i t

when he grabs her from behind its really sensual and denee moaned really loudly and i

have i mentioned i love blaine’s voice

when anatole steals her flower natasha looks so scandalized

at one point he smells it and seems so in love

helene is watching the whole thing go down (basically the whole time the two of them are “alone” together she’s watching them)

after chasing each other around the stage a bunch them sitting down next to each other was treated as a Big Moment

the duel

in between songs anatole walks to pierre’s study fist bumping and grabbing at his head like “YES! YES YES!”

at “oh dear andrey’s betrothed?” anatole did like this little so-so hand gesture that was hilarious

the strobe lighting was way more intense than i expected

i watched grace mclean grind on a riding crop and then put it between her teeth it was great

lowkey threesome up in the mezz/balcony

and the girls were essentially using the railings as stripper poles

during “just as a duck is made to swim in water, god has made me as i am” anatole moonwalks, does the chicken dance, and gets grinded on by two girls

there was just A Lot during the duel

but i was too focused on celia mae’s glow in the dark thong to notice most of it

“here’s to health of married women.... and their lovers ;D”

oh i just remembered there was girl passed out drunk over someone’s box and all the people sitting in it were howling with laughter

helene’s voice is cracking when she says “he will kill you stupid husband” and might i say,,,,,,,,,, character depth

paul pinto’s announcer voice for duel

helene screams when the gun is shot

when pierre holds out his arms to be shot but starts looking around in confusion omg

idk but i love “we live to love another day”

dust and ashes

dave’s version is honestly so gut-wrenching

i never noticed in the recording but the strings on this song are honestly so beautiful??

he acts the hell out of this song and its just so :(

during the “we are asleep until we fall in love” the ensemble lines up in the orch aisles and in front of the mezz all backlit and its just so haunting 

as their “ah”s get more and more intense the lights don’t change at all and it just seems very church choir-y

sunday morning

sonya and natasha seem like they’re sneaking around in the beginning and its really cute

���everyone sees a man” is delivered so well, like she’s trying to reassure her 

the whole time natasha is staring into the mirror pierre is standing right behind her looking at her through the mirror

marya still hates sonya

charming

helene enters through the double doors with her face covered by her cloak and its sort of a mystery who it is until she starts singing

natasha seems embarrassed at first (since shes basically in her underwear) but then starts fixing her garters and stuff almost like she’s trying to impress her

amber gray holy shit

since natasha is still in just her corset and garters helene gives her her cloak 

“he was thinking about you, kept sighing about you” natasha literally lights up and puts her hand over her mouth and walks away like a middle schooler lol

when natasha gets her dress on first she runs around and twirls but then starts imitating helene but its still really childish

helene yanks andrey’s necklace off of natasha before giving her her own and keeping it for herself

in summary this song is Not Straight Whatsoever

the ball

all of the couples enter from the doors doing this weird little movement before going down the stairs 

two girls danced in front of us together (edit: it was gelsey and katrina i only just remembered) and it made my day 

all of the dancers (all through out the theatre, all the way into the balcony) are doing the same movements as anatole and natasha but since they’re in dark greens/black and anatole and natasha are in white it’s easy to not get distracting

blaine as anatole,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah

the “i love another” seems a bit forced on natasha’s side like she’s just saying it out of habit rather than for real

helene is still watching them

the kiss

lasts

a

long

time

BUT

when you look away you see that everyone has wine glasses and are putting their fingers around the rim to make the little noise

helene has a lightbulb over her and a spot. she’s the last one to stop.

the way natasha’s little part after the kiss goes it makes her look like she’s going to choose andrey because she’s singing to the orchestra but turns to anatole to sing the “i will love youuuu” part

the ensemble is lined up on the staircase, “ahhh”ing and holding their glasses up to toast them

anatole and natasha run through the doors together

letters

the whole cast comes in through the double doors

my grandmother screamed “HEY HANDSOME” when blaine passed by wlfkjvbvjnrev

most of the cast had stuck their letters to audience members into their bras/shirts

andrey stands on the platform in front of the doors (the same place he enters pierre and andrey) and pierre speaks directly to him for his letter

at “it is NAPOLEON” the portrait of napoleon on the wall (which was right above my seat lol) lights up and pierre starts pointing the gun at him

anatole and andrey stand on walkways next to each other when natasha is writing her letter

pierre, natasha, and mary all stand in a circle around the study singing at each other and it looks really cool

ok so anatole’s love letter..............

dolokov was holding the letter

they actually made the woman passing the letter walk up on stage to pass it to natasha

blaines “just says yes”s were suuuuuuuuuuper stretched out but he was pressing his face in her chest, stomach, thighs and trailing his hand up her whole body and it was uhhhhhh way more sensual than how lucas steele plays anatole

sonya and natasha

sonya steals the letter from natasha while shes’s sleeping

their argument is honestly everything

“its seems to me i’ve loved him a hundred years............ :)” sonya is just like “what the fuck natalie”

“would you think so badly of me??” brings me back to how much natasha just wants to be loved and cared for 

sonya and natasha yelling at each other is so heartbreaking

her letter to mary is all very final

sonya alone

the whole theatre is dark and theres a single lightbulb and spot on sonya as she sings

natasha makes her way up the stairs to the mezzanine (PASSES ANDREY WHO’S SITTING THERE WATCHING HER)

and wanders all the way across the mezz and back down the stairs on the other side

the whole time, sonya never takes her eyes off of her

i think we need to appreciate that in the realm of musical theatre, there are no other songs about just loving your friend? and wanting to help them?

“i know you’ve forgotten  me” natasha is back in front of the stage left stairs, but a light bulb lights up over her and she stops, looking at sonya

“it’s all on me” kills me she’s so selfless shes sacrificing her friendship with her best friend just to save her and just kjvn;efvaer

preparations

pierre literally doesnt care about what anatole’s doing 

theres a spot on sonya and natasha when they are mentioned

helene brings dolokov the tea

anatole shaves in front of a mirror

there was still shaving cream left on his face and dolokov had to wipe it off his face while they were arguing lol

the two of them were arguing really aggressively it was intense

i think helene was playing the drum during this whole part

balaga/the abduction

paul pinto deserved a tony

my grandmother stole egg shakers from the row in front of us

balaga runs up into the mezz and starts wreaking havoc it’s great

the musicians were all running all over the place saying hi to audience members and generally being great

anatole’s “woooooooooooo” and cape spin was a sight to behold tbh

blaine did a little “mm” noise when everyone went quiet after the big "WOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHH”

his “gooooooooooooodbye” was so stretched out that the ensemble started swaying really slowly but then had to go the other way before starting again it was really funny

during the goodbye my gypsy lovers part marya slid on the end of the banquette seats i was in and i was freaking out so she blew me a fucking kiss and ran away

everyone dancing in a circle around the study

there was a little accordion-off 

alex gibson came over and was like “WATCH ME! WATCH ME OVER HERE!” and had a dance off with a guy all the way up in the balcony

there were people dancing allllllllll over these platforms through out the theatre there was never a dull moment

alex gibson also started humping a drum next to us and banging it while he moaned

he was so into it that he didn’t realize he was blocking lauren zakrin from chucking pages of war and peace everywhere (which i caught out of the air which is pretty neat)

one of katrina’s braids was coming loose so she started helicopter-ing them in our faces

i saw helene and marya make out and it was great

all of it was so completely organized chaos that was so incredible watch i love rachel chavkin with all my heart

when anatole sat down on the banquette next to the girl he made her kiss him on the cheek and did the “stretching” to put an arm around her thing it was hilarious

the girl leaned her head on him and they just chilled out (they actually looked like a real couple tbh) for an awkwardly long time before they all ran up the stairs

marya’s entrance is just as incredible as you would imagine

anatole did like a little smile like “uhh, hi” and then sprinted down the stairs away 

in my house

grace mclean deserved a nomination for best featured. seriously.

the maid servant tries to apologize to marya but she just points her back inside the doors

ok so grace kept it all super calm and contained until she exploded on natasha

she honestly plays this scene so well she’s ocnstantly jumping between concern, disappointment, and pure, unfiltered rage

natasha screaming is terrifying

when natasha “falls to the sofa” (she’s stand completely upright with her arms crossed) marya softens and becomes very calm again but when sonya tries to go to her she snaps again

natasha? still? thinks? anatoles? coming? :(

a call to pierre

the letter is followed by the light bulbs and lights under the mezz as it makes its way across the stage

paul pinto is the best

he stretches out the announcement

so

much

“........................................w h a t”

grace and dave have such good chemistry

the ensemble’s vocals make this scene so much more tense

“natasha and A N A T O L E  K U R A G I N”

marya’s whole demeanor changes when she hears that he’s married

find anatole

pierre literally walks down to the study, back up, puts on a coat and is already wheezing its actually pretty funny

“the club” is just the ensemble along the stairs and mezz dimly lit and gathered in small groups pantomiming its really realistic

“he cant BE MARRIED!” is said in complete disbelief and heartbreak

helene sits with anatole’s head on her lap

on his way to the study anatole passes sonya who glares at him

and if looks could kill

pierre and anatole

blaine plays off anatole as faking his confidence from the very start of the scene thinking pierre will just let him off

pierre literally pins him down and almost bashes his head in with a paperweight

OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED

helen is watching the whole thing from the stage right staircase (she was right in front of me) as if she’s eavesdropping from the hallway or something

she flinches when pierre stars grabbing at anatole and reaches her hand out to help when he’s about to hurt him

the letters look almost exactly like the ones natasha gave to andrey #parallels

anatole sits at someone’s table pouting and covering his ears like a child throwing a tantrum

“amuse yourself with women like my wife” helene actually seemed a little surprised at pierre actually knowing about their relationship

it hit me during the show that the only reason that anatole is upset is because pierre is calling him names which is just so childish considering everything happening

natasha walks between them arguing and pours arsenic into her glass, chugging it and then lets out this guttural scream

she runs up and meets marya and sonya who rush her through a curtained exit

blaine can hit the petersburg note 

natasha very ill

this song is honestly just so haunting

dolokov plays guitar in the double doors

the whole stage is dimly lit and its all very ominous

pierre and andrey

andrey enters through the same doors he left during the prologue and speaks to pierre on the opposite side of the stage before they meet in the middle platform

the “well, how are you?” seems a bit comical and sarcastic

i could write essays about how much “theres a war going on” does for the story at this point

andrey acts like he doesn’t really care about the whole ordeal and like he’s already trying to distance himself from it, almost laughing at himself

“i much regret her illness” is so cold and passive aggressive that it hurts

oh and if this scene didnt hurt enough, mary is watching the entire thing

after “dont every speak of this again” he shoves pierre. hard.

when he leaves, he passes mary who smiles and tries to hug him but he just puts his hand up and walks past her before taking his place in his father’s chair and folds in on himself

natasha and pierre

i’ve been classically conditioned to cry to these piano notes no joke

natasha comes down the stairs really slowly, relying heavily on the railing to help her

pierre tries to help but she brushes him off

she’s in a white, shapeless nightgown (she only wears white through the whole show), is barefoot, and has her hair in a braid and looks like a little girl

when she starts singing its very weak

ALL 👏 SHE 👏 WANTS 👏 IS 👏 LOVE 👏 AND 👏 TO 👏 BE 👏 FORGIVEN 👏

oh and all of the ensemble members since find anatole have taken places all over the theatre and are just. sitting. watching the ending of the show. i noticed mostly courtney basset sitting cross-legged on the walkway in the orchestra

when natasha begins to cry, its not crying. it’s loud, almost primal sobbing

pierre is just so tender towards her and :’)

when pierre tell her that she can talk to him they both look confused

right before the proposal natasha is making her way up the stairs and turns back around when pierre starts talking

dave’s delivery of the proposal is So Good

he choked on the “and for your love”

the mini pierre reprise is heartwrenching

natasha made her way really slowly back up to the doors, but seems hopeful

the great comet of 1812 

ok so

the song is song in complete darkness, theres barely even a spotlight on pierre

veeeeeery slowly individual light bulbs start fading on but you cant see much

then the chandeliers start to slowly light up

but this is all super gradual and doesn’t really become notciable for a few minutes

hearing the ensemble coming in from all sides is gorgeous

then the comet prop above pierre’s study starts lowering (i think around the time its mentioned by name for the first time)

as most of the chandeliers are coming on, a tiny light on the bottom of the comet fades on and starts illuminating the larger comet

now the entire theatre is lit only by the lightbulbs, chandeliers, and the slwoly brightening comet. no table lamps, no stage lights, nothing.

as the final minute or so approaches all of the lights start to dim except for the comet until it’s the only thing remaining lit

and in 100% honesty every single one of the 1200 people in that theatre had their eyes fixed on it for the final moments of the show

then, as the song ends, the lights on the comet fade until only the tiny light on the bottom remains. pierre is collapsed in his chair looking up peacefully and the conductor raises his hands to praise it as it’s dimming until the theatre is in complete darkness

anyway this really wasnt for anyone else to read but if you made it this far? im sorry? this was a complete mess i’m still a wreck from this show

[onceawasteland]

NATASHA, PIERRE AND THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 (August 11th 2017, and August 12th 2017) there are spoilers to come but i felt you would all appreciate my take on the show for I have greatly appreciated everyone else's reviews. THIS STORY IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS CLOSING. the above are pictures from my two respective seats and at the stage door Act One * the walls are covered in portraits from the 1800s, some of which are landscapes of operas) * i danced (badly) on a broadway stage * to get to the on stage seating you enter through lucas' door * while waiting for the show to start old russian music is playing. they also played some french music bc they were francophiles YAY FOR HISTORY * a lady behind me said "omg look at how they did the staging... i guess its pretty clear that theres not a lot of dancing in this show. and i about died laughing * during prologue Cathryn squeaked on the clarinet as she ran down the stairs and my best friend is a clarinet player so this made her RIDICULOUSLY happy * OAK LOOKED RIGHT AT ME DURING MY FAVORITE PART OF PIERRE WHICH IS MY FAVORITE SONG (You empty and stupid, contented fellows. satisfied with your place, im different from you im different from you. i stilll want to do something) * during pierre, pierre sings the part, "and how many men before good russian men, believing in goodness and truth" right to Anatole (who is in the main spot light) and a bunch of other dudes including Dolokohv * Anatole is wasted pretty much the whole show but he this is when you first notice it and lucas was sitting on the stairs right next to me and he kind of drunkenly slipped before he ran to the other side of the stage and i was like 😍😍 * Deneé was on our side of the stage pretty much the whole show and she looked me straight in the eyes about 15 times * during the very beginning of no one else when the music just starts to play Deneé walks with very youthful steps and it just emphasizes her innocence and lack of awareness and just EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLAY IS MAGIC * no one else is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen (well kind of if you dont count the great comet of 1812) The independent lightbulbs which are hanging from the ceiling all kind of drop so it kind of looks like Natasha is floating among the stars * when deneé sang "we were angles once dont you remember" the second night i was there the guy she was singing to on stage right said yes and you could hear it in her mike 😂 * also during no one else, when Deneé sings "this winter sky" she is standing on the top tier of stairs and she flings her arms out gesturing to the sky and the blue light of the moon is the only real light on her and it is quite simply breathtaking * andrei shows up 3-4 times during act one and its super sad every time. the first one (i think, from my vantage point) was during no one else when Natasha is squeezing her knees. Andrei is holding her letters in his hand and then he puts them in his coat pocket right next to his heart and i want to die. * at the beginning of the opera when Dolokohv is introduced he is so ridiculously arrogant and its adorable. Dolokohv in general is pretty fucking adorable. He points at the mezzanine and smirks and its beautiful * at the opera when Natasha says "a little sad a little stout" pierre is in the parlor which is right between natasha and Marya, and Helene and he makes this face like "wtf dude we should be bros" and he is playing the accordion and he pulls it in a way that the note declines and its just this hilarious moment * during the opera andrei shows up covered in blood right after Natasha sees Anatole is staring at her and its so depressing and also NICHOLAS BELTON OMG * Andrei also shows up during Natasha and Anatole (ok my heart 💔) * pierre is reading in his study through almost the entire show * So i heard this before and i didnt believe it bc you cant tell from just the music but the way that lucas plays Anatole is just so complex i love it. During, Natasha and Anatole he is a. really surprised at the amount that he isnt being rebuffed. and b. he has all these nervous tics before he enters the box all the way and makes his presence known and it just adds so much to the character because while yes he is the bad guy he isnt evil he is just unaware of everyone else. * he also tries to convince himself that he isnt doing anything wrong during "we are speaking of the most ordinary things" he wasnt trying to convince her HE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF * and then RIGHT WHEN SHE SAYS "yet I feel closer to you thank Ive ever felt with any other man" he just looks so happy and surprised * Right before Anatole goes to talk to Pierre during the duel he does this mind blown motion after watching natasha exit and its so fucking cute * DOLOKOHV'S "DRINK DRINK"s AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DUEL HAPPENED AS HE RAN UP THE STAIRS RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND I DIED BC HOLY FUCK NICK CHOKSI * I know you all already know this but the strobe lights are the most badass thing i have ever seen in my life. i straight up thought i was going to die they are SO intense. and during the ohohohohohs at the beginning lucas and nick did this hoping dance and i was like 😍 and its so cool bc of the strobe lights and I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE STROBE LIGHTS HOLY FUCK * the second night i saw it, i cant remember who it was but, someone literally almost kicked me in the face from the stage section right in front of me * during the line "then i feel a pleasant warmth in my body" LUCAS DOES A BODY ROLE AND IT IS SO RIDICULOUSLY HOT I CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE IT * OK OAK! this is the moment i was like FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW THIS BOY IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN. When Dolokohv is singing "heres to the health of married women" he is talking directly into pierre's face trying to bro out, and oak's face just falls completely and im like I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG DONT BE SAD. then, THENNNNN Dolokohv actually goes and makes out with helene two feet away from him and the hurt on oaks face was so raw i just 😭 * during the duel it is super obvious that Helene actually cares about Pierre because when she see that he hit Dolokohv shes more worried about the retribution than she is about dolokohv and i just want to die bc these characters are so fucking complex and BEAUTIFULLLLL * Dust and Ashes IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG AND OAK SINGS IT SO WELL AND I DIDNT KNOW THAT THE SONGS COULD GET BETTER BUT HE DID AND I WANT TO DIE * Dust and Ashes is my best friends favorite song and Oak looked directly at her during her favorite line too and its like he fucking knew we were sitting there * during sunday morning Sonya is trying to imitate Marya by sitting exactly like her and that is so great * Charming is gay. that is all there is to say really, just GAYYYYY * and Natasha imitates Helene at the end of Charming which again shows her innocence (SCREAMING) * she then makes the most adorable "well if you say so face" during "but still she talks so frankly. so it must be alright" and she kind of shrugs and AGHHHH * at the beginning if the ball Anatole, again, has all sorts of nervous energy and hes pacing and bouncing on the balls of his feet shaking his hands. and it just adds so much depth. * the ball was really distracting the first night bc two people (cant say who they were bc they are in huge ass masks) were dancing like 6 inches away from me and kept breathing in my ear. I am not complaining. * Lucas turns around with his hands up in a surrender pose like "i didnt do anything what are you saying" when natasha says "your hurting my hand" which i love. then he runs up and just grabs her bodily, turns her to him and smashes his lips on to hers. they stay like that for like 4 seconds and then natasha throws herself on top of him, essentially, and he kind of spins them around and its really kind of romantic (i am not a shipper of the two, except that i maybe kind of am after seeing how they interact with eachother) * Natasha kind of freaks out after the kiss but she is convinced that there is nothing else for her now but anatole and its like GIRLLLLL * Lucas and Deneé leave the stage arm and arm through the big door at the back with the same white lights that Anatole entered with. ACT 2 VERY FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED IN ACT TWO. LUCAS STEELE STARED INTO MY EYES FOR A SOLID 6 SECONDS AND SMIRKED AT ME AN I DIED AND MY FACE PROBABLY LOOKED SO DUMB BUT I DONT CARE BECAUSE AGHH In Letters when pierre says IT IS NAPOLEON the portrait of napoleon on the wall lit up and i cried andrei was there during all of letters and it was so depressing BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHATS COMING AND AGH. right before sonya and natasha sonya and anatole glare at eachother as lucas exists and then sonya runs to grab the letter from natasha's hand. DENEÉ'S SASS DURING THE LINE "I do not grasp the question" is fucking epic. she roles her eyes and its perfection during Sonya alone Igrid Michaelson was literally three feet away. and the lights didnt light up behind denee and i was like ohhh someone messed up. Dolokohv was trying insanely hard to convince anatole not to go through with the abduction and his turmole was very evident. at one point denee walk across the stage and he looked between her and anatole, ran his hand through his hair and then just gives in and follows. Anatole is v annoyed with Dolokohv during preparations. while dolokohv is speaking he is mouthing along like "shut up bro you dont know wtf youre saying" its very funny balaga: there are no words just so much happened paul pinto is a beast i dont even know how he does it. ok on night two i tried write down things from balaga Heath whipped me in the face with his hair as he was head banging on the stage in front of me. marya plays the drums at the top of the stage #GRACEMcLEANISAGODDESS andrei is present through most of act two. he is playing the triangle in pierre's study during balaga OAK DOES THE MOST ADORABLE LAUGH AFTER HIS "WooooOOOOOOAHHH" in abduction. he makes me want to die Lucas' "WAAAAAAIIIT first we have to sit down" is hilarious because the amount of time that he just sits there in silence flirting with this random lady on stage is ridiculous. he messes with his hair and puts his arm around her while we (i) all just sit there staring at him with doppy smiles on our (my) faces. on night two he sat next to a guy on the stage and i really thought he was going to flirt with him as well but alas dolokohv's fur cloak bit is very funny and the cloak is purple which is not what i imagined. again i will say that he is adorable anatole makes out with the fur cloak girl before going to get natasha. boi Grace McLean's in my house is not just angry she is also devastated that natasha is to be ruined. her face is contorted with pain in almost every line. and she is pleading with natasha to listen to her. her vocals are just so insane just OMG the blocking during in my house was also insanely cool. sonya, natasha, and Marya are standing in a a triangle the whole time (denee was RIGHT in front of me for the majority of the time) and they would switch which point of the triangle they were at and the rotation was very neat. I REALIZED LATER THAT THIS IS A PARALLEL TO MOSCOW BECAUSE THEY ARE STANDING IN A TRIANGLE THEN TOO AND OMG THIS SHOW DOES LITERALLY EVERYTHING RIGHT in call to pierre, oaks first what, when pinto gives him the letter is like "wtf is going on here im nobody whats going on" and despite being very depressing is also kind of funny. the whats then progressively get less funny and more depressing and i HATE THAT THIS HAPPENS TO MY CHILDREN NICHOLAS BELTON WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON THE SECOND NIGHT DURING CALL TO PIERRE AND HE KIND OF RUNS AND HIDES BEHIND A POST IN THE BACK OF THE THEATER AS PIERRE LEARSN WHAT HAPPENED TO NATASHA. pierre went to find anatole in the club all of the ensemble were surrounding the walls of the theater and it felt like we were actually in the club which was insane after "NATASH, NATASHA. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT I SEE NATASHA" Anatole throws his head down into helene's lap and i read somewhere that "they downplayed the incest" BUT I CALL BULL SHIT I DIDNT SAY THIS EARLIER BUT DURING THE DUEL AT THE LINE "Imma make love to her" AMBER IS GRINDING ON LUCAS SO I CALL BULL FUCKING SHIT anatole is also really distraught. its super weird bc with just the music to go off of you think anatole is just this jackass that wants nothing but to feel good and fuck everyone else... BUT LUCAS OMG lucas makes him sympathetic. he seems to really love natasha and when pierre is yelling at him he takes it to heart and freaks the hell out and just my love (i mean still a dick but) pierre and anatole is so fucking intense. and the ending if it when anatole is being a whiny baby IT IS SO GREAT BC ITS SO CLEAR HE IS THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM which emphasizes his age and lack of understanding as well WHICH IS JUST SO FUCKING GREAT. Anatole's exit is almost an exact reflection of his entrance. with the lights flaring as he walks out the door everyone talks about this but when natasha poisons herself shes right between anatole and pierre and its so depressing and just my heart pierre and andrei is so fucking sad. first off in the book (which is all about redemption, ill get to that) Andrei gets the BEST most beautiful redemption arc, and ive always been kind if sad that they took that out. everyone else gets at least the possibility of redemption and they just straight up removed every possibility of andrei finding forgiveness. but whatever this is the song that made me start crying, i didnt stop until i was standing at the stage door both nights. ITS JUST SO FUCKING SAD AND I DONT EVER WANT TO FORGET NICHOLAS BELTON STANDING ON THE STAGE "smiling like his father" AS HE COMES TO TERMS WITH THIS BETRAYAL. OAK! OAKKKKKK. I did not know that pierre could get better i thought we had reached maximum amazing but HOLY SHIT. first off the whole time he was hilarious. at the beginning of the Duel when he said opera he satirized the word and drew it out kind of long which was hilarious. and other little moments while he was in his parlor. BRILLIANT. and then AND THEN DURING PIERRE AND NATASHA. i have no words the whole thing was heart breaking. I started crying during Pierre and Andrei and I didnt stop until the end, at the stage door, but holy fuck. after he says his line (you all know the one) i could SEE this singular tear fall from his face and god damn if that wasnt the most heart wrenching thing i have ever seen. he was full on sobbing on stage and i could not handle it. During Pierre and Natasha, Helene, Marya, and Dolokohv were sitting in the audience sections and Helene was crying, dolokohv was strumming his guitar and looking very depressed and Marya just sat there shaking her head. Im not sure if other people were around too but those were the three i could see. during great comet everything is just so beautiful. oaks acting and gestures made everything 100102948391x better but the lighting was INSANE. the comet was beautiful the stars were beautiful, oak was beautiful. one of the MOST stunning plays I have EVER seen in so many ways. a person is not supposed to cry 6 times during a show... it requires magic and this show had it in bucket loads. STAGE DOOR DAY ONE: I MISSED GRACE MCLEAN BC I WAS DISTRACTED AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF AGHWHSHF Lucas must be on voice rest bc he wasnt saying anything but HE WAS SO CUTE AND IM DYING BC HE TOUCHED ME. (also i became like ridiculously starstruck and forgot that i wanted to tell him how much his acting adds to the lyrics and the character and how he is so much more sympathetic because he genuinely loves natasha and just doesn't demonstrate that in a good way, i will also. ever forgive myself for that) there was a little girl next to me at the stage door and the actresses were all being so encouraging to her. they were like "if you want to be an actress DO IT, I was right where you were once and now im here. you have it in you, just dont ever give up." and i wanted to cry bc OH JESUS THEY ARE SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. Paul Pinto is THE MOST™. i absolutely love it even after the show he had SO much energy. i was like 😮 how. Nick Choksi is adorable and wears so much eyeliner and he also talked to the little girl next to me about how excited he would be to see her name up on a marquee one day and i cried. I have no idea what I said to him bc again i was starstruck. My best friend died a little bc she loves him and i think it was honestly one of the best moments of her life. Amber, Oak, and Denee didnt come out (sobs) but APPARENTLY Renee Elise Goldsberry was there to congratulate Oak and support him and i was to cry again. OK DAY TWO STAGE DOOR: * this was a scary night for me * i got into a fight with a man because he was being exceptionally rude to the actors and i called him out on it and he started screaming at me and then he started pushing this other lady right when Shoba was signing in front of us and she looked so scared and i feel so fucking bad * also his daughter was obviously a huge fan of the show and was so excited to see the cast and when he got kicked out she was sobbing and i will maybe never forgive myself for ruining this girls night on broadway but someone needed to say something. he was straight up making fun of the cast as they were three feet away from him and the final straw for me was when he said "some one needs to go in there and grab that blond bitch by the hair and drag her out here. if no one else will ill do it" and so i turned around and said "excuse me sir would you mind turning down the vulgarity. it's incredibly disrespectful" and he said some of the meanest things i have ever heard from another person (called me a bitch, told me i would always be alone, tried to intimidate me by saying he was three times my age... i was just like that says more about you than it does about me man) any way the security guy (idk his name but i love him) got him to leave and then once he was gone i started crying bc everyone around me was patting me on the back trying to make me feel better and that makes me cry apparently. * SO THEN ANGLE MAN MCSECURITY came over and tried to cheer me up as did many other people which really only made it worse but everyone was being so kind and trying to distract me and finally i said "FUCK IT I CANT BE CRYING WHEN LUCAS STEELE COMES OUT" and everyone laughed and i started to stop crying. OK SO WHEN LUCAS CAME OUT AND GOT TO ME ANGLE SECURITY MAN SAID "lucas just so you know this girl has had a really hard time just now. a man was being very confrontational with her in the crowd, (wait for it) can she have a hug" and lucas stared into my eyes (LMAO I AM NATASHA) and said (his voice was so raspy and he was definitely not supposed to be speaking) "im so sorry but if i hug you i have to hug everyone, im so sorry that you had an altercation. here i can do this" AND HE STARTED RUBBING MY HAND IN CIRCLES AND I ABOUT DIED and i said "its ok i totally understand, you are actually fantastic (AND I LOVE YOU, actually no i didnt say that) can i have a picture?" and he said yes (its so bad) and then went down the line more BUT HOLY FUCK * and THEN i asked the totally innocuous question to angle security man, out if curiosity not wanting to do it myself, "not to sound presumptuous or anything but how is it that people grt to go back stage at things like this?" and he said friends or family and i said ok, makes sense i was just curious. THEN HE CAME BACK 3 MINUTES LATER AND SAID "i just wanted to let you know i tried to get you back stage, my friend Summaya is in the cast would have taken you but she already left. i hope thats ok." and i just kind of stared at him bc I WASNT ASKING TO GO BACK MYSELF IT WAS A FOR FUTURE REFERENCE THING and i said "no no of course i totally understand dont worry about it" * GUESS WHAT ELSE HAPPEND BRITTAN ASHFORD WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE CAME OUT i started pointing and talking incoherently and he said, "do you want Brittan's autograph?" and i just kind of nodded and he BROUGHT HER OVER TO ME * Nicholas Belton didnt come out the stage door but he apparently was meeting up with Cathryn and a bunch of the other cast after the show bc i saw him as i was walking to my uber and i just kind if stalked him a little bit bc OMG and i love that they all go out together after the show * Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas Jones were at the show to see Oak and they went in the stage door and Jasmine waved right to me after she saw me waving at her. they showed up separately and i was like OMG ARE THEY OK I HOPE THEYRE OK... but its all good * and Alex Gibbson told me that he was proud of me for having read War and Peace because his copy was collecting dust in the attic somewhere and i laughed * and BRAD GIOVANINE REMEMVERD ME at the sage door he said "hey! you were here last night werent you?" and i said "YEAH!" and he said "yes, i thought i recognized you in the audience! thank you so much for coming back" and i said "I wouldnt have missed it, thank you for telling this story" and that was a definite highlight OK SO THE REASON THAT THIS SHOW IS MAGIC: so the main message of war and peace is that people are good, and redemption, for even the most base of people, is not only possible it is probable because when you break it down we are all imbued with humanity which can triumph when/if we let it. the show doesnt necessarily show that redemptive possibility because it is the part of the story where literally everyone is at their worst. BUT the acting and intention behind the blocking and the small things show that even the very worst of characters (cough anatole, cough helene, cough dolokohv), that we really shouldnt sympathize with based on their actions, are portrayed in such a way that it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see them as, at their root, good. it is impossible to not see their humanity. their weaknesses are on full display, but those weaknesses are merely weakness. they are not evil, they are a result of circumstance and upbringing. not to mention the characters we are supposed to love... they are so easy to forgive its ridiculous in conclusion: Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812 is the bets musical i have ever seen. I love the cast with all of my heart because of their talent and kindness, I will NEVER forget the magic that was tonight. i CANNOT believe that this show is closing. I will never see anything like it ever again and its a travesty. I hope one day there is a revival that is this good... i have hope 🙏🏻.

[viralhottopics]

‘Just don’t stare’: a night of nudity and dancing at the art gallery

Sydney Dance Company performs a world-first all-naked event to the delight of avid nudists. Just be careful where you look

Here? I ask. We undress here? The man beside me already has his pants off.

His name is Matt and he got a head start while the Sydney Dance Companys artistic director, Rafael Bonachela, gave a welcome speech on lower level one of the Art Gallery of New South Wales. As Bonachela talked Matt had removed his sneakers and stuffed his peeled-off socks inside. About 150 of us begin to follow suit.

Matt, naked already, beams at me. This was my idea! Matt, it turns out, is the New South Wales co-founder of Young Nudists of Australia. When he saw the nude dance performance advertised Bonachelas choreographed response to an exhibition of nudes from Londons Tate collection he contacted the gallery to suggest a naked night.

Bonachela had tabled, and discarded, the idea. We had talked about everyone participating, disrobing, at the gallery, he says. When he got in touch, I was like, We still have time, lets do it. The slowest-selling show was swiftly rebranded as nude-only and sold out within a day. Two nude nights were added. They sold out too, faster than the clothed shows.

Matt was delighted. Im no connoisseur of fine arts. We want to show people that the nudist lifestyle is not just old people playing volleyball. These one-off events are a way to interest people in nude social recreation.

Connoisseurs at Australias major arts institutions are indeed interested. Naked tours lead by the Melbourne artist Stuart Ringholt returned to Sydneys Museum of Contemporary Art late last year after premiering there in 2012. Ringholts tour was so enlightening for the MCAs director of audience engagement, Gill Nicol, that she is leading a womens naked tour in March for International Womens Day.

I learnt so much, Nicol wrote. It is just you, literally bare, and with your feet firmly on the floor no phones, no clothes, no bags just an authentic, real experience.

When the slowest-selling dance performance was rebranded as nude-only, it sold out within a day and two more nude nights were added. Photograph: Pedro Greig

Ringholt introduced nudity to the National Gallery of Australia in 2015 with tours of the perspective-defying work of the US light artist James Turrell. We eat light, drink it in through our skins, Turrell wrote. Hobarts Dark Mofo festival, meanwhile, programs a nude dawn swim in the river Derwent each year to mark the winter solstice. Up to 800 people dive into what organisers call a ritual that invites them to shed their skins and inhibitions.

Curator-speak aside, why are people drawn to the experience? Is it a gimmick for middle-class art appreciators to be titillated in a sophisticated setting? A plunge into the unknown in pursuit of shocks retreating frontier? An appropriation of niche scenes like nudism for artists whove run out of ideas? A desire to occupy our bodies at a time when we feel more disassociated from them than ever?

In Europe, nakedness is not novel. If you see a [dance] performance and there isnt a naked body, its weird, Bonachela says. In French Canada you have companies doing full nudity for the full show. Yet it is Bonachelas Sydney festival show that is by all accounts the world first: nude dancers in front of nude paintings before a nude audience. The extra combo deal.

Bras and boxers shed, we file as a fleshy mass towards the exhibition. Walking in the same direction, it is all wobbling arses, jarring tan lines and back tattoos. Its been a hot day; I smell sweat and its combatants. Isnt this great? Matt whispers. On entering the exhibition we disperse, as instructed, to see dance pieces going on simultaneously in multiple rooms and suddenly peoples privates are public.

I was told as a girl that making eye contact with a stranger signalled availability. The comment has never left me; not for a day. Like many woman Im afflicted by a conviction that unwanted attention is my fault. Still, eye contact has been a habit Ive struggled to shed. As a writer I am in constant, reflexive observation. I stare a lot. But Ive learnt to drop my eyes if my look is returned, especially no, always if it is a man.

Here, the tactic backfires. My gaze keeps falling on penises and pubic hair. To be clear, Im OK with that. Some of my best friends have genitals. But I dont want to look as though I paid to perve. Besides, the exhibition features work from Pierre Bonnard, Pablo Picasso, Gwen John and Tracy Emin, as well as the sublime bodies of seven dancers. Why waste eye time on randoms?

I keep my head erect and eyes level. I dont fold my arms or clasp my hands because it communicates a defensiveness Im elated to realise I do not feel. I find myself assuming the closest Ive come to Tadasana (mountain pose) outside a yoga studio. With nowhere to hide, yet everything on display, in a rapid and total way I quit trying. And Matt is right: it feels great.

I tap his expertise further. How does it work? Can I look at people?

Just dont stare. And by and large, people dont. Ive felt more scrutinised and objectifed in boots, beanie and a winter coat.

I didnt choreograph like, Lets hide this, explains Sydney Dance Company artistic director Rafael Bonachela. Photograph: Pedro Greig

For textiles like me (the name nudists give people whod rather wear clothes), this rush of freshly minted freedom distracts me from the task at hand: art appreciation. That is until I see a male and female duo entwined and circling Auguste Rodins The Kiss. The dancers are not only naked, they are very close to us. We watch in awed silence. No shoes clack, no bags rustle, no slacks slide.

An unclothed audience is quiet yet bold. The clothed audience, says Bonachela who strolls the eight rooms tonight as blithely naked as the rest of us held back a lot more. They were quite shy because theyre let into this room with nude people, oh my god, he says. The nude audience immediately spread through the whole gallery. They go in!

My second highlight is a coquettish cabaret-style routine danced by a female duo. Their hair hangs loose and they are makeup free. They look like two uncannily toned women whove sprung up from towels on a beach, unclipped their bikinis, and begun to joyfully dance. We laugh, agog, delighted. I barely clock Francis Bacons stunning, tormented triptych of paintings behind them.

They dont recoil from high kicks. When I created this work I was not going to be shy about it, Bonachela says. Like, I am bending forward and this is my bumhole. This is how between my legs looks. I didnt choreograph like, Lets hide this.

It is not all beautiful moments. Waiting in the Domain before the show a leathery guy on a park bench eyes me and I fervently hope hes not a ticketholder. Later, at the show, I retreat into a smaller room to be alone and look at art. When I turn to leave, three men close the exit with their naked bodies and a panic rises, primal, a need to escape. They turn harmlessly to the art, just three silly bottoms, and I sidle out.

In the room where Ron Muecks Wild Man looms, the hyper-real and oversized sculpture gripped by paranoias paralysis, a trio of three male dancers overwhelms me too. And in the main room when the dancers reach out to spectators and waltz them around, arrange them in formation like artworks themselves, I again retreat to the darkened room of The Kiss, one layer of interaction too much. When my clothes came off, so did an exhausting volume of psychic weight but processing its disappearance is tiring too.

Putting my underwear on in the foyer feels far more intimate than being naked a few minutes before. It evokes the sexuality of a striptease while there had been little of overt sexuality or sleaze about the 45 minutes among the artworks.

It is likely Australian audiences will have more chances to be exposed to living, breathing naked art. This has been a highlight in my career, Bonachela says. So who knows, I may bring more nudity to the stage. It may have another life.

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from ‘Just don’t stare’: a night of nudity and dancing at the art gallery