#pickleback

[chocolatemakery]

Hey all. I’m alive! Been a while, and I wanted to share this little atrocity. My current job has decided to try selling my chocolates on menu. Not the first time this has happened, but it seems like these madmen are actually gonna go through with it. But unlike other places, this isn’t a nice-ish restaurant trying to be classy. This is a sports bar that doesn’t care. So I present these.

Jameson Whisky Ganache with Salted Pickle Caramel Syrup. Not in a shell yet, it’s just a proof of concept. But the flavours work! For those who don’t know, people like to drink whisky with a shot of pickle juice. Mostly to drown out the whisky, but there is an actual flavour combination going on there, and it does taste better than whisky by itself. It’s called a pickleback, and it translates to chocolate. My boss wanted me to try making it, and so far it’s a hit! The bar regulars all loved it, anyway. Target audience satisfied. Gonna make some fancier sounding chocolates to go with it, sell them in a variety pack type deal.

This is very silly to make, but in the age of the internet it’s fun to make something and be able to go “I’m pretty sure no one’s tried this before”.

[tryinganythingtobehappyagain]

I hate pickles but I like this

[hustlebonezzz]

Can we consider this EldenGirlTober day 6.5

Had to doodle what mailwives COULD have been. Doomed before they even started ✌️😔

[buffalobills]

🥒 supremacy 😁 #throwbackresponsibly

[void-botanist]

Wrapped Scenelets No. 29: East Line party time

I'm writing scenelets for (most of) my Spotify Wrapped top 100 songs. Here's number 29, TiK ToK by Kesha.

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Hatt grinned, the whiskey bottle half-tilted in their hand. “You ready for this?”

Isabel tried not to glare from the other side of the counter. “Give it to me.”

Next to her Rodney just nodded.

Hatt neatly poured a thick shot for each of them, then pulled another bottle out of the fridge that had tiny pieces of garlic, onion, and some kind of hot red pepper swimming at the bottom, keeping the brine inside a questionable red-purple color. Behind the first set of shot glasses they filled a second set with the purple brine. Then they swapped the bottle in their hand for a shot glass in each. She copied them, and so did Rodney.

“Pegrás!” Hatt said, and they all threw back the whiskey, then the brine.

As soon as the brine hit her tongue it was over. She swallowed, but she also half fell off the bar stool, coughing through the burn of alcohol topped with the fire of capsaicin. “God. Fuck, Hatt, that’s nasty. Ugh. Why would you do this to good whiskey?”

“Because it’s good and you have no taste,” Hatt said. “Rodney agrees with me. Right?”

Rodney shrugged. “It was all right.”

“Follies of youth,” Isabel said without much conviction. “Can I at least get some milk?”

Hatt poured her a glass without complaint. Probably all they’d wanted was to make her suffer through that.

“If there’s secret shit chopped up in the bottom of this, I’m going to kill you,” she said, taking a drink of it without waiting for an answer. It seemed to be normal milk.

“I wouldn’t disrespect milk like that,” they said, putting the carton back in the fridge. “Besides, Annette would kill me first for fucking up her coffee.”

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Nicea taglist: @kahvilahuhut @kk7-rbs @outpost51 @writernopal @athenswrites

Scenelets wrapped taglist: @kk7-rbs

[knifeprtys]

thinking of you and your sister. she absolutely did deserve a kinder life. I’m glad that you were her sister though. anyone can tell how much love you brought her. I love you

thank you lovely, that really means a lot to me. i hope i did, i never really said it so i hope she knew that i'm lucky and glad she was / is my sister too.

[hogmilked]

y’all ever done a pickleback shot? evil

[klanced]

17y.o. me in 2016: oh shiro is 25 years old? yeah that’s a reasonable adult age

24y.o. me in 2023: somebody PLEASE for the love of GOD get this man an emergency cigarette!!! 💔

why do people talk about shiro like he's old af at 25. space dad. he should be at the club

he should be at the club 💔

[velvetchrry]

━━━━ PRETTY LITTLE BIRDS (2)

pairing: simon “ghost” riley x reader

2k. you play darts.

You can feel a warmth in your cheeks as you follow closely behind Simon. He parts the crowd easily, and you notice multiple pairs of eyes on you as you walk by. You do a small smile and wave to the table of your coworkers, most of them looking at you bug eyed. The girl who approached him earlier has her jaw on the floor. Hopefully she doesn’t take it personally.

He stops when he approaches the table he was sitting at earlier. “This is Johnny, Gaz and Price.” You smile at them and give a soft hello. Simon tells them your first name, and you assume he knew it from your badge the other day.

“Aye, Doc!” Johnny exclaims. His energy is contagious and you can’t help but return his smile.

“Nice to see you again, how’s the knee holding up?”

“Ach, fine. No issue,” he swats his hand, as if to swat your concern away.

“I’m not actually a doctor, y’know,” you add softly.

He shrugs his shoulders and Simon pulls out a chair for you to sit on, thanking him as you do. He silently walks the short distance to the dartboards and starts talking to a group of guys standing there.

“So, LT invite ye to our dart game?” Johnny asks, pulling your attention from Simon’s broad back.

“Oh, I don’t mean to impose on you guys…”

“Nonsense,” Johnny cuts you off, again waving his hand in the air. “Cap’s leavin’ anyway, so we could use a fourth.”

Simon walks back over to the table and places his hand on the back of your chair. You almost shiver as his fingers make contact with your back, knuckles brushing the fabric of your shirt. “Board’s ours.”

Johnny gets up and claps his hands together. “Let’s do this. Gaz, on me. Doc with Simon.”

Simon offers a hand to you and you use it to help yourself stand up. Price stands up, downs the rest of his whiskey and bids everyone a goodnight. The four of you do the same. “Don’t have too much fun you lot,” he calls out behind him as he walks toward the door.

The ghost of Simon’s fingers trail on your lower back as the group makes its way to the dartboards. The guys Simon talked to earlier clear out when they see your companions and Simon nods at them in return. Johnny pulls the darts out of the board as a waitress stops by to grab your drink order.

“Round a Jamo shots,” Gaz says to the waitress. Johnny laughs as he walks back to the table — darts in hand — noticing that you pulled a face. “Not a fan, bonnie?”

“Erm, not entirely… what about a compromise? Picklebacks?!” you suggest.

“Dinnae know what that is,” he admits. Gaz shakes his head. Simon stays behind you, silent. Observing.

“Shot of Jameson, followed by a chaser of pickle juice.”

Now it’s Johnny’s turn to pull a face. “Alright lass, if that's what ya want.” He nods to the waitress and she makes her way back to the bar. Johnny and Gaz argue over which game to play while you and Simon settle up to the high top. It’s chairless, like the rest of the high tops at the bar. Simon’s broad leg brushes against yours.

“So, how long you been working on base for?”

“Not long,” you admit. “A few months now.”

“Mmm. What convinced ya to join up?”

“My grandpa actually. He was medic and I would beg him to tell me his stories growing up… when I finished P.A. school, this job kind of fell into my lap and well… I took it as a sign.”

Johnny dumped the red set of darts in front of you and Simon when he walked back to the table. Gaz was firmly clutching the blue set in his hands. Right on cue, the waitress brings by four shots of Jameson and another four shot glasses full of pickle juice on a serving tray and places each in front of everyone. You bite your lower lip and try to look at Simon from your periphery. Is he gonna take off the mask?

“Cheers,” Gaz holds up his Jameson shot and Johnny follows. You join in, Jameson in one hand and pickle juice in the other. Simon lifts his large hand, the shot of Jameson engulfed in it, and you all clink glasses. Simon's hand brushes up against you, and you feel a spark run through your fingertips down to your toes. You visibly shiver from the minimal contact. What am I? A nun?!

You tap the bottom of your Jameson shot on the table before taking both the Jameson and then the pickle juice back in one breath hold. Johnny hoots in approval before him and Gaz take both shots right after. “Good call bonnie, kills the burn right off.”

When Simon lifts the bottom of his mask up from his chin and takes both shots, you swear you really must be a nun with how little of his face showing suddenly soaks your panties through. You see the strong outline of his jaw, and a very old, muted scar that runs slanted down his chin. A smattering of blonde 5 o’clock shadow is the last thing you notice before he pulls his mask back down. You quickly look away before someone can notice you drooling.

“Gaz, you’re up,” Johnny announces.

You have a tell when you’re about to shoot. You do this little side to side sway with you hips that Simon can’t help but watch. The soft noises you make after each throw that have him wondering if he can provoke those same sounds from you in bed.

He noticed you studying him with the mask pulled up from under his chin, your shiver as he brushed his hand against yours. Touch starved little bird.

He imagines what he could make you do with the promise of seeing all of him. Wonders if you would let him mark you as his, teeth meeting soft pillowy flesh.

He isn’t sure why you haven't asked about the mask yet. He’s never met a woman interested in him who hasn’t. He’s sure you’re curious — and it’s clear you were trying to get a peek of him earlier from the corner of your eye — but here you are, respecting that it’s just a part of him. That alone serves to make him a little hard.

Simon holds his breath when you stand too close to him. Your perfume threatens to send him over the edge, a soft floral and citrusy scent that has his muscles tightening.

You’re shit at darts. Absolutely horrible — although you do get a few lucky shots in every once in a while. He wants to teach you — the rough pads of his fingers caressing your silky smooth center while he breathes in your ear how to shoot. He wants you dripping down his fingers as you aim the dart, wiggling your hips just slightly before you throw it, him slipping two fingers inside of you and…

“It's your turn, Simon!” you exclaim, slight buzz coloring your cheeks as you hand the darts to him.

Fuck. He’s got a massive hard on right now. No way he can come out from behind the table.

“You take my turn for me, dove.”

“Wha.. really?! But… you’re the only reason we have a shot at winning.”

It’s true, Simon hasn’t missed a single shot all night. Not that Gaz and Soap aren't sharpshooters, but their talent has an inverse relationship with the amount of booze they consume, and right now the two of them combined are about neck and neck with the two of you.

“Absolutely. You got this.”

His praise warms your cheeks even further. He’s happy you haven’t drank much, unlike Gaz and Johnny. You’re still aware, cognizant. He doesn’t want to lose you to a drunken stupor, even though he’d be happy to hold your hair and then punish you for it in the morning with a few good spanks.

After a few lucky shots from you, he hears Gaz and Johnny moan something about hustling the two of them. Johnny pats you on the shoulder as you pass him and head straight for the table with Simon.

“Good work little dove.”

You beam, but blow it off by shrugging your shoulders before bumping one against his arm. “I have a good partner.”

Johnny and Gaz come up to the table. “Who’s up for ‘nother round? Ay, what were those shots we took earlier Doc?” Gaz asks.

Simon watches you closely as you put your small hands up and wave them around in front of your face. “Oh… no more shots for me, thank you.”

Gaz and Johnny both groan but Simon cuts them a look that has them backing off. “We’re gonna grab a quick one at the bar then, be right back,” Johnny says, practically pulling Gaz with him.

“Alright?” Simon asks you once they've left.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. This is… fun. I haven’t had much lately.”

Simon’s fingertips trace the wood grain of the table. “Why not?”

You shrug. “Self inflicted, really. Once I moved here, I didn’t know anyone and I didn’t exactly force myself to go out. Plus, I went on one really terrible date the first week I was here. After that, I figured I would just take the time to get my bearings first.”

Simon chuckles a little. “How terrible?”

You sigh slightly. “Well… to be honest… he was dreadfully boring and self absorbed. Some guy who works in… finance?” You waved one of your hands around. “He only talked about himself and how good he was at his job, then when we were about to leave he asked if he could ‘pencil me in’,” you make air quotations with your fingers “for a lunch date back on base. I lied and told him lunches are too hard for me to get away and have been avoiding him ever since.”

“Wait, he works on base? A suit?”

You shrug your shoulders, not knowing his terminology. “Lucky for me, we must not work near each other, otherwise he’d see I take most of my lunches outside under the trees by the track.”

You couldn’t know this, but Simon makes a mental checklist in his head to not only see if he can figure out who this suit is, but to scope the trees near the running track on Monday. He can’t have his little bird in harm’s way. He can only imagine which soldier’s eyes you’ve caught while sitting and enjoying your lunch. That track gets a fair amount of use considering there are more people stationed on base than there is room in the gym, and spring has just rolled around.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Simon mutters under his breath. You whip your head in his direction in time to see Johnny trying to stand on the bar, shirtless, and to the dismay of the bartenders. Gaz is cheering him on. Simon spins off the table and walks to the bar with swift intent. He barks something you can't hear at Johnny, who’s color drains from his face and gets down from the bartop. Simon flicks him on the nose and you can hear Johnny yelp. Gaz looks terrified in the corner. He drags both of them by the ear back to the high top.

“Should get these two idiots home. Let me give you a ride to your flat.”

You shake your head. “That’s okay, thank you though.”

Now it’s Simon’s turn to shake his head. “Look, your friends are gone. Let me give you a ride home so I know you make it safe.”

“Please hen, maybe he’ll take it easy on us if ye ride wit!” Johnny pleads and his brow scrunches more after he speaks, Simon pinching down harder on his ear.

Simon hears your hearty laugh before you turn around and notice that indeed your coworkers have all left for the evening. “Almost bar close, anway,” Simon adds.

You bite that damn lip again and look around for a second before speaking. “Well if you’re sure…”

[gejo333]

An Unexpected Match II

DILF/DBF Miguel O’Hara x Female Reader

Pt. 1 Pt. 3

Summary: You and Stephanie take a girls trip to Miami after Stephanie broke up with her high school sweetheart at the end of your freshman year of college. The purpose of the trip was for her to get laid, so your mission was to be her wing woman. However, you didn’t expect to hook up with a mysterious, handsome man for the weekend.

18+ Warning!!! This chapter will have a lot of smut.

This is a very long chapter since I wanted to do the flashback seen in one chapter.

I apologize for any grammatical mistakes I missed.

Enjoy💕

Wc: 7.1k

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Two Years Ago

“Finally, we’re here! It felt like we were never getting to our hotel.” Stephanie slammed the taxi door as she screamed excitedly, getting some weird stares from bystanders.

You pay the taxi driver and give him a nice tip as an apology for your very energetic friend. As you get out, the taxi leaves, and you look at the resort hotel entrance, a sigh of relief and relaxation washing over you.

“Now, let’s get to our room to go to the bar and get a drink. I need one after that grueling flight.” You groan slightly as you and Stephanie walk inside.

After checking in and settling into your room, you are now dressed in more appropriate and sexier bar clothes instead of the leggings and sweats you came in wearing.

“Ok, tonight is about you getting laid and over your ex.” You said as you both walked out of the elevator and towards the outdoor bar by the pool.

“You know, I will be your wing woman this weekend. You need to get laid as well. It’s probably getting dusty down there. You haven’t hooked up since you broke up with your ex right before college started.” Said Stephanie as you both find seats at the bar.

“I’ve gotten laid since.” You argue, but she gives you a side eye, seeing straight through your lie. You roll your eyes and sigh in defeat. “Ok, fine. I haven’t.” You get the bartender’s attention by ordering green tea shots and a cocktail.

You both hold your shot glasses up, “To getting laid.” Said Stephanie, who made you chuckle slightly, repeating her words before clinking glasses and downing the shot.

As you both enjoyed your time at the bar, chatting away and reliving the best and worst moments of Freshmen year, the bartender approached you with a new set of cocktail orders.

“These are from the gentlemen over there.” The bartender said before leaving. You and Stephanie look down to the other end of the bar to see two guys, obviously in college, smiling at you both. They weren’t bad-looking, so Stephanie waved them over.

“Stephanie, what are you doing?”

“Getting us both tickets to getting laid. Before they get here. Drink test.” You both dipped the tip of a nail in your drinks. After waiting a few seconds, you both noticed that your nail polish didn’t change, passing the no-roofie detected test.

“Hey there, ladies. You must have just gotten here. This is our third evening here, and we haven’t met women as beautiful as you. I’m Rafael.” Rafael leaned closer to Stephanie.

“Sweet talker. I like that. I’m Stephanie.” Said Stephanie as she leaned closer to Rafael, clearly interested. You smiled slightly as you could sense the chemistry between the two. Goal achieved.

“Hey, I’m Mat.” The other guy stood next to you as he smiled at you. You smile back at him. "Y/n."

“Can I buy you a shot?” He offered.

“Sure. Green tea’s my favorite.”

“Mine too.” He chuckled as he got the bartender’s attention and ordered the shots.

“Really?” You chuckle at his response.

“Ok, you caught me. Pickleback is my favorite. But green tea shots are always good.” He lifted his hands in surrender as he chuckled.

“Pickles are definitely not my favorite.” You giggle.

“Maybe I can change your mind?” Mat moved closer to you with a smirk.

“Maybe.” You smile back as you lean in closer to him. He smiled as he ordered a set of pickle back shots too.

Once both shots arrived, you decided to try the pickle one first.

“Cheers.” Said Mat as you clinked glasses and drank the shot of Jameson. As you lifted the shot of pickle juice to your mouth, you pulled back and scrunched up your face.

“Nope, can’t do it.” You chuckle as you place it down on the counter.

“I’ll take it. Pickles are the best.” He chuckled as he took your shot which made you chuckle too.

You continued your conversation with Mat. Not too long ago, Stephanie tapped you on the shoulder to signal that she was heading out with Rafael. You had both decided that if you got laid, she would go to another room, even though you insisted the other way around. But just as dramatic as your best friend was, she was just as stubborn.

Mat was cute, and talking with him was nice, but you weren’t feeling hot and bothered by him. You didn’t feel that sexual attraction, which was frustrating, to say the least. But there didn’t seem to be other prospects floating your way tonight.

You glanced at the pool as its blue hue glowed against the dusk sky. That’s when you noticed a tall man walking towards the bar. His white shirt fitted tightly against him as it perfectly contrasted against his warm tan skin. As the mysterious man got closer, you noticed the stark height difference as he walked up to the bar and ordered dark liquor.

The man noticed your gaze as his reddish-brown hues met yours. Just one look into his eyes, and you were hypnotized. You notice him checking you out before he smirks at you, now looking ahead and taking a sip of his drink.

“Y/n? Are you good?” Mat’s voice brought you out of your hypnosis as you looked back at him with a smile as he looked at you with a confused smile.

“Yeah, sorry. Thought I saw something. But it was just my imagination.” You chuckle nervously, hoping he bought it.

“Alright. As I was saying...” Mat continued to talk as you tried your best to pay attention to him.

Your eyes briefly returned to where the mysterious man was but were disappointed to see no one there. Maybe you did imagine him. He seemed too perfect to be true.

“So...do you want to get out of here?” Mat smiled as he scratched a non-existent scratch on the back of his neck. Before you can respond, the mysterious man walks up and stands to the other side of you. “Another whisky for me. And whatever the gorgeous lady next to me wants.” The man says as he slides the drink the bartender made for you closer to you on the wooden counter. Now up close, you noticed how handsome he was, from his chiseled jaw to his plush lips and piercing brown eyes fixed on you.

“So, what’s your name, Hermosa?” He smirked and looked down at you as he sipped his drink. Even sitting next to you, you barely reach his broad shoulders.

“Hey man, she’s with me.” Said Mat as he scowled at the other man and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, which, to be honest, you weren’t pleased about.

“Are you her husband? Boyfriend?” The man asked as he arched his eyebrow.

“Well, no.”

“Then she’s available. As long as she’s interested.” The man slid his hand around your waist as he moved you closer to him. As you felt your body began to tingle, your heart raced in your chest. You definitely felt hot and bothered by him. And you liked it.

You slightly turned to face Mat as you smiled softly at him. “It was nice getting to know you, Mat, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t feel any spark between us. I’m sorry. I can pay for my drinks from your tab.” You bit your lip as you looked at Mat, who looked at you with a frown before glaring at the man next to you.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll cover the drinks. It was nice meeting you, too, y/n. If you decide to ditch this guy, give me a call.” He smiled, slipping you his number on the counter before walking away. You felt a tinge of guilt for ending it like that. But you couldn’t ignore this spark between you and the figure next to you, who you turned towards.

“Y/n, that’s a beautiful name.” The man smiled as he turned your chair so you were fully facing him; he moved the stool closer. You smile up at him, cheeks rosy as your faces were only inches apart.

“What’s your name, stranger?” Your gaze meets his, not able to look away.

“It’s Miguel O’Hara.”

“That’s a fitting name for a handsome man.”

Miguel smirked as he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him. You try to take a sip from your drink when he pulls it away and as you give him a confused smile. He leans down to your ear as his hand gently snaked up your thigh.

“I think you're a year or two short from drinking that, cariño.” He whispered, which sent chills down your back.

“So what? Are you going to turn me in?” You chuckle.

“I might. Unless you agree to go on a walk with me.”

“Where are we walking to?” You smirk as you lean closer to him.

“Maybe around the resort, then towards my room.” He says as he gently grabs your chin and kisses you softly. As soon as your lips met, you felt a small shock as he kissed you. You gently break away as you say, “That sounds like fun.”

After Miguel paid his tab and the rest of yours, he took you by the waist as you walked back to his room.

The walk took a little longer as you both stole kisses from each other, which got a few blushing glances from bystanders. You finally made it to the room, which you didn’t think you would make it to, for how quickly the sexual tension built between you two had gotten.

Miguel swiftly unlocked and opened the door. Before he picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as a moan escaped your lips. He kissed your neck, his teeth grazing your skin ever so often.

Entering the room, Miguel laid you on the bed. He placed one deep kiss on your lips before he lifted himself up from on top of you. He took off his shirt and threw it to the ground. You gazed down his form as your eyes traced his chest to his perfectly toned abs before you met his lustful and hungry gaze.

Within minutes all your clothes and his were on the floor as you watched him slowly remove your black lace panties before separating your legs, wider than your used to so he could be between your thighs. Miguel hovered over you as he captured your lips and began to trail them down your neck to your breasts. You bit your lip as you felt his lips sucking on one of your breasts. One of his hands trailed up your thigh as he inserted one of his fingers into your wet folds.

Miguel removed his lips briefly from your nipple, peaked and sensitive from his touches as his eyes lightly glared at you. “Don’t hold back your voice, cariño. I want to hear you.” He growled slightly, which made your core burn hotter from his commanding tone. You nod at him; a smirk replaces his frown as he kisses your lips, “Good girl.” A moan escaped you, not holding back as you felt him insert another finger inside you. You knew he was a large man, but two of his fingers alone filled you.

His lips soon left the plush mountains of your breasts as he kissed down your stomach, where his face landed between your thighs. He grabbed your legs and put them over his shoulders as he fingered fucked you. You felt your core tighten, desperate for release due to the quick pace of his fingers thrusting and curling inside you.

You bit your lip in pure pleasure, about to reach your blissful peak, when you suddenly felt the absence of his fingers. You lightly glare up at him, cheeks flushed, breath slightly uneven. “Miguel!” You whined, which only made him chuckle. “You’re cute when your flustered under me, Hermosa.”

Before you could argue back at him, you gripped the bed sheets as you felt his tongue slowly lick your wet folds before sucking your sensitive clit, instinctively making your hips buck up against him. “So eager for me, huh?” He chuckled as he inserted his tongue inside your dripping cunt. You roll your eyes at his cocky attitude, but you don’t care as he buries his mouth against you as if you were his favorite meal and, at the same time, his last meal.

You begin to feel your core tighten again, “Cum for me so that I can taste more of you,” he said before his lips sucked on your clit. A loud groan from your sweet voice was music to Miguel’s ears as a small groan escaped him when he felt your thighs squeeze against his face, making his cock twitch from the pressure.

Your grip on the sheets relaxed as you released yourself onto his face, which made your flushed cheeks darken as he licked every drop. It had been so long since you felt this good from an orgasm. Possibly, never felt this amazing before.

Miguel lowered your legs from his shoulders as he positioned himself between you. He hovered over you as he removed his boxers. Your eyes widen slightly, jaw slightly open when you see his size. How was he going to fit inside you? As if he could read your thoughts, he leaned down, lips gently brushing against yours as he chuckled, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to be gentle. At least for the first couple of minutes.” Miguel smirked as he captured your lips into his. He licked your lips, wanting to explore your mouth. Still, you teasingly refused, which was a poor mistake as he entered the tip of his cock inside you, making you gasp and letting his tongue enter your mouth.

You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist as he slowly inserted deeper inside your wet cunt. Even with the prep, he still made your walls stretch farther than they have ever been. Once you gently moved your hips against his, it was his cue to begin as he removed himself but the tip before thrusting back inside you.

“Miguel.” You cry out as you claw at his back from the constant abuse of your pussy. His pace begins to quicken as he slams back into you, as he feels his balls slap against you.

“You keep squeezing around me like that, and I’ll lose myself faster, cariño. Damn, you’re tight. I love how you squeeze and suck my cock deeper into your pussy.” Miguel growled as his pace grew faster, making you feel your core tighten again.

He grabbed your hips and lifted them slightly as he found a new angle to fuck you in, making the tip of his cock hit in just the right place repeatedly. You cried out loud as you reached your euphoric high again, as you covered his cock in your juices.

Trying to catch your breath, you feel him remove himself as you give him a confused look. He chuckled, “Giving you a second to catch your breath before we continue.” He chuckled as he kissed your lips.

Your cheeks are already flushed. It was hard to see them grow redder from his sexual stamina. He flipped you so you were on your hands and knees, taking you by the hips and thrusting himself back in.

Your knuckles turn white from gripping the sheets so tight as Miguel fucked you from behind. You didn’t think his size would surprise you again in the new position, but you were wrong as you felt him fill you more.

Trailing after your third orgasm, your cunt began to feel overstimulated as he continued to fuck you rough from behind.

“It’s s-so much. T-too much.” You mewled out loud. Miguel leaned forward, and you felt him press agaisnt your back as he kissed your shoulder to your neck. “Just one more. You can handle one more. Right, Hermosa?” He whispered in your ear. You nod your head as you feel your lower stomach tighten.

“Fuck, let me cum inside this pretty little pussy of yours. What do you say?” Miguel continued to slam into you as his cock twitched, almost at its peak. You moaned out loud as you squeezed around him from your third orgasm. The sudden tightness around his cock makes him groan as he spills deep inside you, coating your walls white.

Your upper body collapsed on the soft duvet as Miguel continued to thrust inside you, becoming more sloppy as he came down from his sexual high. Once he removed himself from you, he went to the bathroom to grab a wet cloth as he gently cleaned around your thighs and overstimulated pussy.

Once he was done, he got back on the bed and brought you both under the covers as he held you against him. He gently lifted your chin as he kissed you softly. You return the kiss before pulling away as you both try to catch your breath after your fun physical activity that just took place.

Fatigue soon washed over you as Miguel pulled you closer against his chest and kissed your head. “Get some rest. You’ll need it for tomorrow.”

The sunlight peaking into the window woke you from your peaceful slumber. You begin to wake up and feel how sore your body is from last night’s events. Remembering you weren’t in your room, you look to the other side of the bed and slightly frown when you see it empty.

You then register the sound of the shower in the bathroom; looking at the arm clock, you notice it is 9 am. Your eyes widen; you overslept. A small groan left your body as you got up from the bed. Your body was sore. You didn’t realize how rough he was going last night until now.

You try to find all your clothes and get them on before he gets out of the shower. Taking longer than normal, you could only get your panties and bra on when you heard the bathroom door open. Out walked Miguel in only a towel that hung dangerously low around his hips as he gave you a confused look.

“Sorry, I’m almost ready and will be out in a few minutes.” You say as you try to find your skirt.

“Why? Are you trying to run away from me, Hermosa? Was last night not satisfying enough? You seemed to really enjoy yourself. But I could easily show you again.” He chuckled as he walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pushing you into his wet chiseled chest.

“For some reason, I thought this was a one-nightstand.” You nervously chuckle as you bite your lower lip and look up at him. You see a small frown on his lips as he looks at you.

“Do you want it to be? Cause I know I want this to keep going. I can’t seem to get enough of you.” He smirked and leaned down to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around him as you got on your toes to deepen the kiss.

“I don’t want this to end yet either.” You happily smile, which he returns as he kisses you again. The kisses became more heated as you both were hungry for each other as you smashed your lips.

Miguel picks you up and places you on the bed as he hovers over you, placing his lips across your breasts and neck as he leaves more bruises over the ones he made last night.

You moan softly from his lips as they meet yours again in a loving kiss. Miguel moved his lips from you briefly as he gazed at you, “You’re gorgeous, cariño.” He smiles as he kisses you softly. A groan escapes his lips when he hears your phone ring.

“Sorry, I have to get it. It might be my friend who I’m staying with.” Miguel nods as you turn to grab your phone from the nightstand. You sit slightly up against the bed as Miguel continues his expedition with his lips on your body.

“Hey, Steph. How did it go last night?” You say as you try your best to stifle any moans.

“It was great! A good way to start off the weekend here. I went back to the room and saw you weren’t there. Are you out already?”

“I didn’t go back to the room last night. I went to someone else’s.” You feel Miguel smirk against your skin as he looks at you before attacking your neck with his lips.

“Ooo, I’m glad you got some last night too. Was it with that Mat guy?”

“No, this other guy came to the bar, and we hit it off very well.”

“Ooo, I definitely have to know all the details. But how was it?” Your cheeks lightly turn red as you see Miguel look at you with a smirk as he raises an eyebrow waiting for your answer. You smile as you playfully roll your eyes as you look at Miguel.

“It was really good. Definitely left me to soar this morning.” You giggle from Miguel’s playful antics as you are on the phone.

“Well, I can tell it went really well, as it seems you are still with him.” You can hear the grin on her face as you only could let out a small chuckle. “Hey, Raphael and I were about to get breakfast. Do you and your friend want to come? We’ll just be at the outdoor part of the hotel restaurant.” You agreed before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

Placing the phone on the bed, you look back at Miguel as you kiss him. “Since you heard everything, do you want to get breakfast?” You asked him with slight hesitation, wondering how far he wanted to take this.

Miguel smiled as he took your chin and kissed you again. “I would love to. But first, let’s continue where we left off.” Lust in his eyes, he smirked before removing his towel and taking your panties off.

After a quick round, you and Miguel got dressed and ready. Ready to leave, you both walk out the door with Miguel closing it. As you walk out his door, you bump into Mat, who is about to enter the room next to Miguel’s. He smiles awkwardly at you as he grabs his key to enter his room. But not before Miguel kissed you in front of him. You blushed, embarrassed to find out you shared a wall. You look up to Miguel, who has a smirk on his face. You lightly hit his chest with your hand as you try to hide your smile. “Miguel, you knew.”

“What can I say, Hermosa? Just wanted to let the guy know who you chose last night.” He chuckles before you both make your way to your floor, where your room is to change into new clothes.

After you got changed, you made it to the restaurant and headed to the outdoor patio, where you saw Stephanie and the guy she slept with.

“Heyy!” Stephanie said as he got up and hugged you. Before she let go, she whispered in your ear. “Damn, girl. You caught yourself a tall glass of steaming hot water.” You chuckled at her words.

“We actually ate already since it took you guys a bit longer. But don’t apologize. Never apologize for having some fun in the morning.” Stephanie winked at you as she took a sip of her coffee. Her comment made you playfully roll your eyes and chuckle as you and Miguel sat down.

After talking briefly with Stephanie and her hookup, you and Miguel leave and head to the pool. Since this was an adults-only hotel, private cabanas were offered with their own small pool. You had read about it on the hotel’s website, but you knew it was too expensive to do it. Not with your college job budget.

Of course, Miguel tells you he has a surprise and asks you to close your eyes as he leads you to your destination. When he said you could open your eyes, you gasped in awe at the sight. It was one of the private cabanas with an ocean view.

“Do you like it?” Asked Miguel as he brought you closer to him and kissed your neck. You turn around and kiss him in excitement. “I love this. I can’t believe you got one of the private cabanas. I’ll have to make sure to thank you properly.” You smirk as you guide him into the private cabana area and close the curtain to the public side. Only seeing the ocean view, knowing no one could see you from that view unless they were on a boat.

You take off your bikini cover-up dress and put sunscreen on. After you are done, you see Miguel take off his shirt and sit on the cabana bed.

“Do you need any help with putting on sunscreen?” You smile as Miguel smirks, “I would, actually.” You get on the cabana bed behind him and spread the sunscreen across his back, shoulders, and neck. You massage the sunscreen into his shoulders and neck as he leans back against your, enjoying your touch. “Your hands are heavenly.” Miguel groaned in pure bliss. You smiled as you kissed his cheek before moving away from him, making him frown before a smirk reappeared. He watched you straddle his lap as you helped him put sunscreen on his chest.

Your eyes would trail down his abs, every once in a while going back up to meet his eyes that craved for you. Miguel sits back against the cushioned bed, keeping you on his lap. Grabbing you by the hips, he pulled you closer against him as he kissed you.

“I want to know more about you, Hermosa. I only know your name.” Miguel said in between kissing you. You smiled against his lips at his comment before pulling away.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, first off, your age. Then where do you go to college.” He chuckled as one of his hands gently rubbed against your thigh.

“I’m 19, and I go to Nueva York University. Now you seem to be old enough not to be in college. I’m guessing 25?” You furrow your brows and give him a confused smile when he laughs.

“Guess a little older.”

“28?”

“No, I’m 35.” When Miguel revealed his age, your eyes widened in shock.

“You're joking, right?” You chuckle and stop when he sees his serious look as he smiles at you.

“Is that a dealbreaker?” He asked.

“No, it’s not at all. I was just surprised. I don’t mind the age gap.” You smile as you lean in and kiss him on the lips.

“Good. Cause I would be pretty bummed to see this end right now.” Miguel smirked as he moved your hair behind your shoulders and kissed your neck, making a small moan escape your lips as he touched your sweet spot.

After a heated make-out session, you both felt the sun’s heat on your bodies. Miguel picked you up by the waist as he stood up and walked over to the private pool.

A mischievous smirk appeared on his lips, which made you nervously chuckle. “What are you thinking about O’Hara?” You then notice him walking closer to the pool as you look back at him with wide eyes. “Miguel...”

“I think we should take a dip in the pool.” He chuckled as he carried you into the cold water. A small gasp left your lips as your back arched, pressing your chest against him. Miguel walked farther into the water, smile getting wider every time your body flinched as it was covered in water.

“You're cheeky.” You chuckle as you kiss Miguel’s smiling lips. One of your hands goes into the water as you lightly splash his face. Miguel wiped his face, surprised by the sudden water attack. He sends you a playful glare before splashing your face with more water. You brush your wet hair back from your face as you laugh it off before Miguel cups your face and leans down to kiss you.

During the kiss, you splash him again as you get out of his hold, laughing. Miguel wiped his face chuckling as he quickly grabbed you as you tried to swim away from him laughing. He sits on the underwater bench and sits you on his lap, wrapping his arms around you so you can’t escape. He then kisses your cheek, whispering, “I think you’re the cheeky one. And bad girls deserve to be punished.”

Your eyes widen slightly, cheeks flushed from his last words. A smirk appeared on his face as he untied your bikini top, letting your breasts free. He then briefly took you off his lap, turning you around so your back was against his chest. He pushed your bottoms to the side before you were slammed down on to his member.

You moaned out loud as you tried to adjust to his size. However, Miguel didn’t let you as he began to ram his hips up into you, having a rough pace. You were in slight pain, but it didn’t bother you as you were overcome with pleasure. As one of his hands held your hips in place, the other began to play with one of your breasts as he used his fingers to play with your nipple, making you gasp from how sensitive you were.

You lower your hand to your clit to help relieve some of your arousal. However, as soon as your fingers touched your sensitive area, Miguel snatched your wrist and moved it to your side as you groaned in frustration.

“Miguel.” You whine as you lay your head back against his shoulder.

“Sorry, cariño. Only a good girl gets to cum. You were being cheeky, so you aren’t allowed to cum yet. You just have to sit here and take my cock in this pretty little pussy of yours.” Miguel whispered in your ear before kissing and marking up along your neck.

You turn your head to face him, and your lips connect into a heated kiss. The water splashes around from the movement of both your bodies. In the distance, you see a boat sail into view.

“There’s a boat. W-what if someone sees us?”

“If someone does, they’ll witness a gorgeous woman getting fucked in a pool. I’d like to witness that. But I’m in a much better spot cause I’m the one fucking that gorgeous woman. Now, have you learned your lesson?”

“Yes. Please, Miguel.”

“Please, what?” Miguel chuckled as he kissed your neck.

“Please touch me.”

“ As you wish.” Miguel lowered his hand as he began to rub your clit. A moan escapes you as you arch your back against his chest. “Cum for me.” He whispered as your eyes rolled back from the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body as you came from your high.

Miguel groaned as he felt your walls tighten around his cock. “Por Dios! You feel so good. I wish I could stay inside you.” Miguel bucked his hips into you one last time before you felt him spill deep inside you. Miguel rode out his high before he removed himself from you, kissing your shoulder as you both tried to catch your breath.

After spending the morning and afternoon at the cabana, you both decide to head back to get ready for dinner, as Miguel said he made a reservation. You first stop at your room to grab a pair of new clothes before returning to Miguel’s room.

You decide to take a shower together to save time and indulge both of your sexual hunger for one another. It might have taken less time if you took separate showers, but why would you deny having shower sex with a man like Miguel?

After rushing to get ready, you leave the room and follow Miguel to the restaurant. You decided to walk there since it would only take 5 to 10 minutes, and the Miami night was at the perfect temperature. Once you arrived, you were taken to your seat. Looking around, you noticed how nice the restaurant was. It definitely had a few dollar signs on the Google review.

“This place is gorgeous.” You tell Miguel as you look at him across the table. You never would have thought twice about sleeping with a man older than you. But with Miguel, it didn’t feel weird at all.

“I’m glad you think so. It’s Italian. I hope you like that. And order anything you like. It’s on me.”

You looked up from your menu, slightly wide-eyed, “That’s sweet of you, Miguel. But let me pay for us. You’ve picked up the tab since we met last night.” Wow, last night. You had only known Miguel for 24 hours. Yet it felt like you’ve known him for years. Miguel smiled as he set the menu down and gently took your hand.

“I’ll pay for dinner since I suggested the restaurant. And I don’t mind paying for such a beautiful woman. But you can pay for coffee tomorrow.” He added the last part because he could tell you felt bad that he was paying for everything. But he would pick up every bill for you. You were just so perfect.

“I would love to pay for coffee tomorrow. But do you mind waking up at 7 am?” You bite your lip out of bad habit from your nerves as you notice a frown of confusion on his face.

“I don’t mind waking up at that time. But why so early?”

“I-I leave tomorrow morning. I was only here for the weekend.” Your gaze shifted from his back to the menu. When the waitress returned, you both ordered your drinks and appetizers before they left; Miguel took your hand, gaining your attention.

“Well, we’ll have to make every minute count then.” Miguel smiled as he lifted your hand and kissed your knuckles.

“I agree.” Your cheeks turn slightly pink from his small romantic gesture. He was such a gentleman when he was outside the bedroom. Which you’re definitely not complaining about.

Dinner passed by faster than you would have liked as Miguel was leading you out of the restaurant, his hand on your back gently guiding you out. Dinner was really nice; you got to know a bit more about him between flirting with each other. He worked at Alchamex, where he talked a bit about what he does and the people he works with. Seeing his annoyed reactions when he mentioned certain people was cute. He then mentioned he had a three-year-old daughter, which melted your heart when he spoke about her.

For some reason, you had no problems with the age gap or that he was a father. It’s not the first time you’ve been hit on by older men. But you would just scoff and ignore them. But with Miguel. It felt different.

As you were walking back, you got to learn more about him. He had a younger brother named Gabriel, who his daughter was named after. You asked if you could see a photo of his daughter, which he was glad to show the Home Screen on his phone. Your heart melted at the image of his daughter. She was freaking adorable. Despite only being three, she looked much like Miguel, which you thought was cute.

You did ask the awkward question if he was married before. But Miguel only smiled and said he hadn’t and that Gabi was the result of a month-long relationship in that he found out the woman he dated was pregnant with his child until he saw her again 9 months later, giving him the baby and the parental rights and saying that she didn’t want to be a mother and to not contact her.

After he told you that, the story of how he got his daughter broke your heart. How could someone abandon their child like that? Especially one so adorable. You hugged Miguel and kissed him on the cheek for being a great man and taking care of his child.

You both returned to his room, where Miguel picked you up and put you on the bed, quickly removing both your clothes before ravaging you for hours until you were so overstimulated that you almost passed out. After Miguel helped gently clean you up, bring extra careful when he wiped the wet towel over your upper thighs and overspent pussy. He then brought you against his chest under the covers as he kissed you good night and said, “Let me make you feel good one last time tomorrow morning before you leave.”

You nodded, kissing him softly before your eyes grew heavy, entering into a peaceful slumber. Miguel gazed at your sleeping form, wanting to memorize every part of you before you left him. His last thought before he fell asleep was maybe tomorrow morning, he could convince you to stay with him longer.

You woke up the next morning extremely sore. The past two nights, really taking a toll on your body. But you didn’t mind it, as the sex was amazing enough to not care about the bruises and sore muscles the next day.

Checking your phone, you are relieved that you woke up at 5:30 and before Miguel. You looked at the man sleeping soundly next to you. How could someone look even more handsome when they were asleep? You wish you could see those reddish-brown hues lovingly gazing at you one last time before you left. But you decided it would be less painful if you left before he woke up.

You gently get out of bed, stopping every time Miguel slightly shifts in his sleep. Leaving his bed’s warmth was hard, but you had to go. When you finally left the bed, you quickly dressed before quietly getting your wallet and his room key.

You came back 15 minutes later with a coffee and breakfast sandwich for him as a small thank you for everything he’s paid for. You were relieved to still find him asleep as you walked in the door. Before you left, you wrote him a small note:

I have to raincheck on breakfast with you this morning to catch my flight, but here is a coffee and breakfast sandwich as a small thank you for dinner and everything else. I promise to take you out for a proper breakfast or dinner if we ever meet again. I really had a great time with you this weekend. I’m sorry I left before you could say goodbye.

- Love

Y/n

After leaving the note on your pillow, you look at Miguel again before quietly leaving his room. You went back to your room to see Stephanie already packed and ready.

“Hey, we haven’t seen each other all weekend.” Stephanie chuckled as she walked over to hug you. Before she let you go, she frowned slightly when she saw that painful look on your face. “Are you alright, y/n?”

“I know it was only a hookup for the weekend. But I think I stupidly caught feelings for him.” You chuckle softly, trying to fight away the pain in your heart.

“Aww, did he not return your feelings?” Stephanie said as she helped you pack; you tried to stop her, but she refused since she could tell you were hurting.

“Actually- I never told him. Guess I didn’t want to ruin such a great weekend if he didn’t feel the same way.” Stephanie scoffs as she flicks your forehead, which you swatted away as you lightly glared at her.

“Why didn’t you say anything? How did he seem this morning when you said goodbye?”

“I actually left before he woke up...”

“Girl! I swear I will kill you for some of the stupid things you do. Why would you do that?”

“Well, did you do that with Raphael?”

“No! Because mine was just a hookup. Yours was something more. When I saw you with him at breakfast the other day, he seemed to care for you.”

“Well, it’s too late. Plus, it wouldn’t have worked out anyways. I’m in college, still trying to figure out my life when he already has his figured out. Let’s just go. The cab is probably waiting for us downstairs.” You zip up your suitcase before the both of you make it downstairs and into the taxi.

Getting to the airport, passing security, and boarding the plane went surprisingly smoothly. But as you gaze out your window, watching Miami grow smaller, a tear falls down your cheek as you feel like you made a mistake and left a piece of your heart back at the hotel.

Present

The barbecue began to die down as the hours were ticking into the night. It was only your family, Stephanie, and the O’Hara’s helping to clean everything up.

“Y/n, can you take all the dishes and put them in the sink? Liam can do them.”

“What! Why? Y/n’s the one bringing them there?” Whined your younger brother as he was putting garbage in a bag.

“Liam, you’ll do them. Plus, your sister just got home today. She can get a break from chores.” Your mother lightly shot a glare at your younger brother for his attitude. You place a hand on her shoulder and smile at her.

“It’s ok, mom. I’ll do them. He wants to see his friends, and I’ll only be in the house.” You say as you pick up all the dirty dishes and bring them inside the house.

You began to wash the dishes when two large arms trapped you against the sink. Your stomach dropped as butterflies began to fly in rhythm with your rapid heart rate.

You felt him press his toned body against you, making your cheeks red and your body hot. You felt him gently move your hair from your shoulder and press his lips against your neck before whispering in your ear with that low sultry voice you missed so much.

“It’s been a while, Hermosa. I’ve missed you.”

————————————————————————

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!💕

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@angel-xx-1

[bunnyjesters]

shaking the little tadc characters in my head jar coming up with useless hcs, like how they’d be if they had access to alcohol/could get drunk. wrote this in a discord server originally so apologies for weird formatting

pomni: still anxious but not cripplingly so, more confidence, tends to get very reactive, usually angry? not intentionally flirty but inhibitions lowered so if she’s feeling it she will be opportunistic. probably likes debating. doc is just hard liquor, vodka/tequila

gangle: she’s either really giggly and super sociable/happy or ABSOLUTELY inconsolable, usually the latter, there is no in between. likes sweet, doc is probably a shirley temple

jax: probably asshole level confident but can also flip on a dime pretty quickly to a very melancholic state, thats usually just when hes alone tho, or will usually break off from the group to *be* alone when those feelings come up. likes whiskey. probably a sour or an old fashioned. could also see him drinking caesars or something weird like a pickleback

ragatha: responsible drunk, doesnt drink much but when she does she always seems sober but a little less coordinated. if blackout gets kind of white girl wasted. doc margarita

kinger: a mutual of mine had a hc that he was a veteran, think maybe he struggled with alcohol because of that.

he’s very dad who gets drunk by the tv and passes out vibes. probably would be able to crush back a fair share while still looking relatively sober. honestly he’s probably even a little more coherent when intoxicated? but also will just randomly say something super out there that makes everyone kinda raise an eyebrow. probably likes cheap beer, maybe pabst or a polish beer like lech or zywiec

zooble: high tolerance for weed, does not drink often like rags but is more open to doing so, kinda just likes to chill out and relax, is probably too honest for her own good. not picky with booze, her fav strain is pineapple express

[floraleevee]

New Car is fucking GEEN

Thinking of naming them Achilles because 1. Greek mythology 2. I 💚 homosexuals and 3. simply for that post that went around where someone put a pic of cold-pressed olive oil next to the description of Achilles’ skin in Song of Achilles

(not what traditionally pressed olive oil looks like)

NO LONGER CAR-LESS

[lilmissnatcat24]

friends i have a confession to make. i hope i don't get canceled for this.

i fucking love vinegar. i love vinegar so much. i love vinegar far more than the average person should like vinegar. i have at least ten bottles of different vinegars in my apartment right now. red wine, apple cider, balsamic, rice wine. you name it. there is a specialty vinegar store like 45 minutes away and i make that drive every other week to buy a new fancy bottle of vinegar.

my love for vinegar goes far beyond just the liquid gold itself. i love ANYTHING pickled. dill pickles, banana peppers, capers, olives, sauerkraut, kimchi. pickled jalapenos and ginger and eggs and beets and garlic. i have never once eaten something and thought damn waaaay too much of this pickled veg. no. on the contrary. i think more restaurants need to stop being pussies and load me up with more pickled veg than meat.

i don't care for vodka, but i will pretty much exclusively order dirty martinis or pickleback shots just so i can socially acceptably drink brine. when i played volleyball i used to take shots of pickle juice with my teammates under the guise of electrolytes, but in actuality it was so i can drink pickle juice. just now, i finished the last pickle in the jar. after spending far too much time wondering if i need to save the brine, i literally just drank half of it. my boyfriend started taking apple cider vinegar shots in the morning, and has been complaining how disgusting it is. i started doing it in solidarity, and i must report back that it's actually quite pleasant, and i look forward to my shot of vinegar i get to inhale every day.

i hope this doesn't change people's perceptions of me. i feel thankful to finally get this weight off my chest.

im also not stinky.

[maggotwithanf]

Barter/Gift Haul for Wasteland 2024!!!!! Highlights include:

My first ever Rat Trap Regular ashtray :')))

Baja Blast candle

a Molotov Mollies patch a super hot Mollie snuck under my suspenders at the Beerlympics (I never got your name but hiiiiiiiii)

Brick of Dation

Goat horns from Mush

Lei from the Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville meetup

Official Bonertown & ODS patches

Wedding patch for Bearnanaz '24

SHAME BELL & Goat Heads Yoga bell gifted to me

Chalice I bartered from Pipsqueak

Vote for Slugga pin

Special lucky card from my beloved Bear

All overlaid over some of the daily WCC Wastelander newspapers delivered to us by Sir Pickleback every morning!! Thanks Pickleback!!!

[fagqween]

but whyyy do pickleback shots fuck me up so much

[goodluckclove]

Edgar Blog Takeover Sneak Peek!

Now Playing: Crosseyed and Painless - Talking Heads

For some reason I still think it's a good idea to try and make the recipes I come up with in my dreams. It's not like I have them all the time, but for some reason every time Katy takes me drinking I end up having crazy dreams where I end up making some kind of new meal.

This time it was onion ring nachos, and when I made them in my dream they made a lot of sense, right? I wasn't even surprised by myself in my dream. I was just like "yeah, hey, time to make onion ring nachos like I do all the time". So on a subconscious level I must have found it a viable idea. And then when I woke up I was - well, hungover. Very hungover. We tried to make picklebacks without a recipe so I think I was drunk off Jameson and just...brine. Ugh.

But through the headache I also didn't really think it was a bad idea, you know? People make chili cheese fries. That already exists, I didn't make that up. And I had just gone grocery shopping with Katy so she had actual food in her apartment - plus she had an air fryer. I wish I had an air fryer. I'm the only one that uses her air fryer. I wonder if she'd notice if I stole her air fryer.

Anyways, the recipe seemed simple. Just regular oven nachos with a basic canned chili sauce (I'm not about to, like, brown ground beef. Pull out the cumin? From where? I brought sea salt flakes to Katy's place once when I was making dinner and she acted like I pulled out a dish of caviar. And she wonders why I ask her in advance if she has butter), only you substitute onion rings for tortilla chips.

Cook the onion rings before hand, at least ten minutes longer than what the directions on the bag say because the directions on the bag are wrong most of the time. Then heat up the chili and drizzle it with shredded cheese and whatever toppings you can find in your trash-eating best friend's kitchen. Katy has maybe six different hot sauces, which is totally not excessive for someone who can't remember to keep bread stocked in their place.

When I plated it it seemed real. That's stupid. You know what I mean - it seemed like a meal. I even arranged the onion rings so they were more overlapping to allow a better distribution of chili. I sort of figured this was a fork meal, because even if you char the rings when you broil them with the chili they'll moisten and gain an uneven weight that doesn't make them great for picking up by hand. Other than that, I could see some bullshit food truck selling something like this for too much money.

Eating it was not great. I think the first thing I realized when I ate it was the importance of tortilla chips as a concept. Those motherfuckers are sturdy, with a surface area that actually allows the nacho to exist as a proper experience. Taste wise it was pretty good, slightly sweet from the cooked onion, salty and savory from the chili and hot sauces. But fuck it, I'll say it - the texture was bad. You shouldn't eat a food and only process the taste. I might as well have had it as a drink, it was unnerving.

It would work better if I just dipped the onion rings in the chili, and now I'm upset that I didn't just do that. So stupid.

Katy liked it. I ate about a third of the serving before it started depressing me, but then when I came back after taking a shower she'd taken the plate back to her daybed in the living room and was just sort of...eating seems like the wrong way to put it. Absorbing, maybe. Slurping? Whatever she was doing it was very slug-like and I think she was still probably kind of drunk.

Anyway dreams are dumb and tortilla chips are important. There's your lesson for the day.