#physical work has a physical toll that should be also charged for

[jals-stuff]

Hihi! First of all I LOVE your writing and thank you for feeding us hungry Orter fans with your work (I have been STRAVING for his fic) so if you don't mind, I have a little request! So I imagine in a what if Orter has a crush on someone (aka us and ofc we gotta like the sandman back) who's always on a dangerous mission due to how strong they are who is ALSO his partner time to time and one day, they just went into a coma from overusing their magic. MAYBE when they woke up, the two will confess to each other or?? Idk I will let you cook 🧑‍🍳

(Sorry if my wording is a little confusing!)

good day/evening anon! your wording is just fine no worries

first of all, thank you SO much, this brightened my day by a lot, you have absolutely no clue what kind of serotonin torrent you have unleashed. I am glad at least some people like my writings, that's why I'm doing it.

I don't think this is 100% close to what you described, but I hope you'll like it regardless-

Should be gn!reader if I didn't mess it up...

warnings: SLIGHT SPOILIES, bit dark, mentions of death, bit of despair... not proofread I am so sorry.

word count: 2.8k

note: I apologise for any dumb mistakes because I physically cannot proofread myself at 6am but if I don't post it now I won't do it ever. please don't hate me anon

What if...

As much as he hates to admit it (to himself, of course), Orter had grown a little bit too fond of you. The way you greet him whenever you come back from a mission, or the way you always make sure to respect the rules and act logically while also protecting everyone around you when the two of you would go on missions together. 

The way you whine when your legs are tired after walking long distances, the way you always bring him a little something to eat when you know it’s going to be a long trip. You’ve always been good to everyone, much opposed to the cold man; but it wasn’t the only difference between the two of you.

Everyone has their own logic and, as much as you respected your own, his was quite different. While you wanted to take every single possibility into consideration, he preferred not to overload his mind with useless statistics and just think of a solution when the time comes.

However, a lot of things aren’t affected by logic, such as feelings, and how could the dense sandman guess that you were absolutely enamoured with him? These were variables he would’ve never imagined, even though he was painfully into you as well. 

Of course, he was your top priority, and protecting him from harm even though he was a rather powerful mage was of the utmost importance. He should’ve known that when the two of you recklessly charged into enemy territory in an attempt to weaken the devil’s quintuplets before they would be on the move.

Orter was a man of many things, but “what if''s were not part of his usual reasoning, and that was the biggest mistake of his life. However he only realised it too late when you had to break your own limits to make sure he’d go back safely. It was time to retreat, but the two of you had been completely cornered. 

Having a dormant god inside of your wand had many benefits, but Psyche was not an entity to be trifled with. The Soul Goddess would, each time you requested even a fraction of her power, take a huge toll on your stamina and sanity, and this time it was more than critical.

You were already exhausted from using so much of your mana, and now you were completely surrounded by Innocent Zero's sons. Unleashing your Psyche Inclination and ordering all of the quintuplets to sleep immediately surpassed your own boundaries.

You knew what would happen if you pushed beyond your limits with your personal magic, but it was completely worth it. After all, what was the point of living anymore if the only person you loved was dead? 

All of them were immensely powerful, and neutralising such strong enemies was not a meagre task. As soon as the last one fell to the ground in blissful slumber, you felt something rupture inside of you; like a used rope that suddenly lets go, your breath hitched and you collapsed to the floor. 

It was all pitch black, and your consciousness kept you company just long enough to let you hear Orter’s panicked voice calling out for you. Yet somehow, despite the fact that you were falling into the pitch-black abyss, you felt relieved that he, above everything and everyone, was safe.

But anything beyond the confines of your darkened mind was unknown to you and despite your multiple attempts to open your eyes and wake up, everything went silent.

“No, no no…”

Had you been awake, you would’ve been astonished at how Orter had never been that distressed before, at least not in front of you. The loss of his dear friend Alex Elliot had taught him a painful lesson not to get attached to anyone and to simply stick to the rules, but he had let himself fall for you, and now he was experiencing the trauma once more.

“Please, no… not them…” 

Not only were you unconscious, you had done this to yourself for his sake. He was aware of that fact; had you not decided to literally put yourself through such an ordeal, the two of you would be dead already.

But unlike his deceased junior, your heart was still beating and there was still time to save you. He had never run so fast in his entire life, carrying you carefully in his arms to bring you back to the Bureau’s infirmary, laying you down as gently as he could as the nurses rushed to assess your state.

You weren’t hurt, so to say, but the abusive usage of your personal magic had plunged you into a coma, and it was unsure if you would ever wake up from it. 

It looked like you were peacefully asleep, maybe dreaming of a better place you would possibly join soon; unmoving and slowly breathing, as if nothing had happened. Orter knew you could possibly open your eyes anytime, and it kept him distracted every time he would fill his paperwork or go on a mission.

Whenever he had free time, he would rush to the infirmary to check on you, make sure you’re still breathing, or even talk to you. It could help you come back to your senses, or so the nurses said, and as ridiculous as he felt when he talked to your inert body, he would’ve done anything in his power to bring you back, as slim as the chances were.

But then it suddenly hit him. What could he possibly tell you if you ever woke up? He would for sure apologise, but other than that? How could he face you after you had quite literally sacrificed yourself for him? He wasn’t even sure he could look into your eyes again.

Did you resent him for this?

Would you forgive his recklessness?

Would you give him this warm smile he had gotten so used to?

And would it be time for him to finally admit his feelings? You were right here, in front of him, yet you weren’t there. He missed you so dearly, the sound of your voice, the shit eating grin you’d give him whenever he was wrong and you were right, the way you’d laugh at his disgruntled expression afterwards…

All of these interactions he thought annoyed him were now severely missed and he would’ve given anything to even just see the colour of your eyes one more time. 

And see he didn’t, for what seemed to be an eternity. Everyday, when he’d come to visit you, a small part of him hoped your eyes would be open and you’d greet him the way you always did, but every time, he was met with your inanimate form, comfortably laid in the infirmary bed. 

His hope of hearing your voice ever again gradually vanished with every one-sided conversation he had with your unconscious figure, swallowing down his emotions with every word he said. He was slowly accepting the fact that you might just never open your eyes again.

The more this thought settled into his mind, the more desperate he grew, and suddenly, his usual mindset faded away and his brain filled with “what if”s. 

What if he had taken some time to listen to your suggestions, what if he had thought of a plan B like you always had? What if he had ever told you about his feelings, what if you loved him back? What if you didn't? What if you never woke up?

Dread took over on his other emotions and suddenly, it wasn’t hope that drove him to visit you everyday; it was despair. What if you never opened your eyes again? How could he ever live with your presence replaced by this horrifying feeling of guilt for letting you die in his place? 

You were surely powerful enough that you could’ve ran away on your own, and left him behind if needed; it would’ve been the logical, reasonable thing to do. But the heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of. Of course, he should’ve known that you would never leave him behind, but precisely because it was completely illogical, it never occurred to him that you would willingly let yourself be hurt if he had a chance to make it out alive.

Now he was sitting at your bedside and kept hoping you’d wake up, just open your eyes and talk to him, greet him and say everything was going to be fine, just the way it was before… it seemed like he hadn’t heard your voice in an eternity, and it was weighing on him the whole time. Like a burden he would have to carry forever if you didn’t wake up from this coma you had put yourself into for his own sake.

His eyes never left your figure as he spoke to you kindly, as if you were still awake. Of course, occasional visitors would look at him like he was a lunatic, talking to someone who was obviously not here to answer, but it didn’t matter to him anymore.

Orter was ready to abandon his image for your sake, sometimes even skipping work and breaking his own principles so he could hold your hand for another minute before going on yet another perilous mission. 

The thought of you dying peacefully in your sleep haunted his mind every single day, and his sorrow was great enough that, more than once, he did consider exhausting himself enough so he would be defenceless enough for an enemy to just take him out of his misery.

For weeks, months, his mind was plagued with the thought of you leaving him forever, of not being able to tell you about these feelings he thought were completely unnecessary. Shame and rejection didn’t even matter to him anymore and he just longed for the day you’d wake up and even just look at him. 

He was on a mission, the day he heard that one of your fingers had merely twitched. Breaking protocol was far from his usual behaviour, but he needed to see you. That is how he accidentally drowned an entire area in sand, catching both enemies and harmless monsters in his Antlion’s Nest. 

The rules didn’t matter to him anymore, it was a physical need to see if you were okay and to maybe, just maybe hear your voice. 

However, he walked in on something completely different. Many of the other Divine Visionaries were gathered around you in religious silence, observing you. He had to push through the crowd and his heart stopped for a second when he saw you. 

You were sitting up in your bed, slightly confused as to why everyone was staring like this. For you, mere seconds had passed but in reality it had been literal months. As your eyes travelled amongst the crowd, you saw Orter, who was also staring at you in utter disbelief. 

The infirmary was completely silent, and no one was moving, as if time had suddenly stopped. Ryoh threw a glance at the others and they just silently left. Now it was just you and Orter, looking at each other in both confusion and shock. He stumbled towards the chair that was resting near your bed and he slowly took a seat.

“Well… you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Upon hearing your voice, he let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. It was like all of his burdens were suddenly lifted off his shoulders and his head and arms simply collapsed against the mattress, much to your confusion. You raised your hand to reach for his hair and upon seeing how your nails had grown so much, you realised something probably happened.

“It’s been months! I thought you’d never wake up! I thought I wouldn’t hear your voice ever again. Why on Earth would you do such a thing? No, no... it was all my fault. I'm sorry, (Y/N), I'm so, so sorry.” 

He sounded angry, but he really wasn’t. You started connecting the dots and it took you a bit of time to understand that you had been unconscious for the past few months, worrying the poor sandman to death, though right now it didn’t matter at all. 

“I’m glad you’re alive, Orter.”

Although you had been unconscious for literal months, seeing the Desert Cane unharmed was such a huge relief for you. However, not everything was swell inside his mind. He still felt extremely guilty that you nearly died for him, and nothing could possibly pay back this humongous debt he thought he owed you. 

But seeing his relieved expression when he looked at you was enough of a payback. He had watched you wither away for months and now you were finally back to the world of the living, eyes focused on him and him only. 

You tried to stand up but as soon as your arms attempted to lift your form, they gave out and you started losing balance. Orter immediately stood up from his chair to catch you, wrapping his arms around your now weak body to support you, but even after you were back to your spot, he wouldn’t let go. He simply sat on your bed next to you, not letting go. 

Almost out of instinct, you rested your head on his shoulder and let out a long sigh, your arms raising up slightly.

“Please, just rest, you must be really exhausted.”

But his words just didn’t reach you, you needed this. After a while and a lot of effort, you managed to rest these weak arms of yours against his shoulders, on the sides of his neck, and he fell silent. You had no strength at all but he could feel you use all of your willpower to embrace him, and you also seemed like you wouldn’t let go.

He seemed fine with it as he slightly nuzzled your neck and closed his eyes, finally relaxing a little after this emotional rollercoaster. It felt so comfortable to finally be in his arms after such a long time spent longing for him, as if you were finally where you belonged. 

“I missed you.” Orter said quietly, close to your ear. His arms tightened around and you would've probably cried hadn't you been so exhausted. Your words were stuck in your throat and you could only nod and hum softly, your voice cutting inside your throat. 

His arms tightened around you further, holding you into a comforting hug, one of his hands gently going through your hair and keeping your head close to him. You exhaled again, wanting nothing more than to keep holding him. 

“Just don't let go. Please.”

Your voice was muffled by his embrace but you were close enough to his ear for him to understand your words, and you could've sworn you heard his breath hitch for a second as his arms tightened even harder around you.

“I won't.” He sighs into your neck, comfortably seated on the side of your bed, and you wanted nothing more than to lay back down and have him hold you, but you were still in the infirmary and it would've been very problematic to be seen like this.

“I won't, ever. I can't.” He held you even closer now, like he was trying to merge with you, your chest and his pressed against each other as if to share your heartbeats.

Although you had never seen Orter being this close with anyone before, it all felt very natural. Just like the way his hand slid from your hair to your cheek, like the way he moved away from you slowly, his usually cold gaze now soft and filled with something you weren't quite used to.

Just like the way he couldn't take it any longer and gave in to the physical urge to softly press his lips to yours. You didn't pull away, of course; the moment too precious to let surprise ruin it. 

You returned the kiss, your eyes now closed to take in the pleasant, wholesome warmth his embrace brought to you, after you'd been so cold for literal months. 

As nothing lasts forever, your lips and his slowly separated, but his eyes were now on yours again. 

“I won't let you fall again, (Y/N), I promise.”

You couldn't help but give a soft chuckle and his expression turned slightly puzzled. Of course, you two didn't share the same braincells.

“I've already fallen too hard.” You breathed out.

His eyes widened for a second before he regained his composure and brushed a few hairs away from your face to place them behind your ear.

“Then I guess we’re both down now.” he finally admitted, his expression just a little softer and his lips almost curved into a smile. 

You were suddenly thankful for Orter holding you so close, lest your heart would've jumped out of your chest. 

“I love you, just… in case it wasn't clear enough.” He awkwardly added, and you thought it was just adorable. Another chuckle escaped you with a nod.

“I know. I love you too.”

He hummed softly and sighed deeply in relief. 

That was one “what if” finally satisfied, and probably the first of a long list.

[gacha-incels]

Mind boggling update on the Studio Ppuri case. I’ve included some of the many shocked QRTs of the article tweet. if you read some of the previous posts here recently, this is the female animator who the KGCS helped keep her job and press charges against her harassers. similar to vellmori she was targeted by incels for a piece of work she didn’t create. it seems the pigs who looked over the animator’s case think that all the stalking, harassment, graphic death threats & more are justified “criticism” and “just kinda rude” things she should deal with “because she’s a feminist.” They’re even bold enough to mention she wasn’t even the animator for the scene. They further mention that it’s “common to consider the pinched finger as taboo,” as if it’s relevant to this case. This is also not what happened with the animation. Studio Ppuri with the help of KGCS literally set up public meetings where they fielded questions regarding these animations and explained how frames like this worked. Obviously some random male animator in his 40s isn’t secretly sneaking in a joke symbol from a defunct website to call your dick small, dipshit. If you need a refresher with everything going on with this you can check this blog’s studio ppuri tag for more. I’m concerned about this woman’s health and safety, there can be significant long term psychological and physical tolls on your health from high stress, in this case bc of the unbelievable amount of harassment she has faced - these guys showing up to her workplace looking for her, thinking they doxxed her but it’s one of her coworkers, 500+ threats, now these fucking pigs saying it’s her fault, even all of this being all over the news can’t be easy. I also hope harassment doesn’t ramp up even more.

[unlovablereject]

Tired of seeing hate and antisemitism so much.

People are showing just how antisemitic our society is. Saw someone comment on Facebook "this is proof that Israel has always been evil." Then thanks the xtian prophet. People believing half assed researched "proof" of Israel being evil and supporting this.

Palistine needs to look inward and see Hamas killed our people in the middle of the night after a HIGH HOLIDAY killing 2000 INOOCENT people in one night and taking hostages. The death toll has taken more Israelis than Palistinians if you do math... Hamas does not care about his people, palistine is land stolen from Israel. Israel helped his citizens because he wouldn't. Giving them asylum. There were several offers of peace that were REFUSED BY HAMAS!!! He wants to destroy Israel and every Jew.

The US has committed more atrocious war crimes than even this. Like nuking Hiroshima and it STILL HAS EFFECTS ON THE PEOPLE TO THIS DAY, because Japan bombed one military base. They also let people die when they could have helped. US let WW2 last as long as it did, it has blood on its hands.

Then I want to remind US citizens that the twin towers had a death toll of about 2000. That was in 2001. They still have military power in the region and have killed over ten times more people.

The US is the biggest war criminal in the world. They can't even govern their own country, stay out of other peoples' affairs until your two party system has two working parties, k? Why are you still killing innocent people in Iraq when no one in the attacks was from Iraq.

Your government blew up their own towers, if you know anything about melting temperatures of steel, jet fuel, physics, and just plain knowledge of how buildings like that are meant to withstand earthquakes, so the planes didn't destroy the entire towers. They aimed so high that it would have taken out the top. The bottom should have been intact as in the beams and structure. Why were the beams all cut on a pretty diagonal line in the same way? It was an excuse to fix Bush Sr.'s bad mistake putting terrorists in charge of the country (Iraq) during his term as president.

Put on a big show and get people on board for a war, it happens every time. Do research before you listen to some random information that has no legitimate sources. It's not okay to spread hate.

Antisemitism isn't a good look on your country atm.

I will pray for Israel until my last breath, I believe in Hashem and His words of Torah.

It's just okay to kill Jews I guess. I see it everywhere.

Police say we are safe. Most of them probably hiding fucking hate tattoos.

I want peace, but the human race is literally not capable of peace. Hate IS humanity.

[semper-legens]

61. Tiny Pretty Things, by Sona Charaipotra and Dhonielle Clayton

Owned: No, library Page count: 438 My summary: Gigi, Bette, and June are all reaching the end of their time at the American Ballet Company. Senior girls, this is the time when they will be expected to work the hardest, be the best, and earn the title of prima ballerina. But only one can be prima, and the rest are ready to fight dirty to gain the coveted role. Pranks turn dangerous. Hatred turns bitter. This beautiful sport is about to become deadly. My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

I used to know a lot more about ballet. When I was little, I was fascinated by it - the athleticism of the dancers, the beauty and skill on display. My favourite ballet was Giselle, the story of a young woman driven to death by love, who rises from the grave as a ghost among the ghosts of other unmarried women. As I grew older, though, my interest moved from ballet to musicals, and my knowledge of it faded. But I still retained a vague interest. Which is why I picked up this book, a story of teenage girls in the American Ballet Company and the trials they go through as part of their chosen vocation. While on the whole I wasn't that fussed about the book, I did largely enjoy it, though I'm not sure I'd pick it up again.

The narrative switches between three characters - Bette, Gigi, and June. Bette is an established dancer from a family of dancers, who is also the head Mean Girl of the school and sore at being overshadowed. Gigi is an up-and-comer with a bright personality who worries about being sidelined because she's black. June is a strange, antisocial girl who is concerned with perfectionism and always being the best. As Gigi starts getting soloist parts, the others are jealous and competing with her, as well as dealing with their own issues. Bette has a controlling mother and believes that she should be on top at all times, just like her older sister Adele. June has an eating disorder and is bullied by the other Korean girls at the school, leading to her isolation. And Gigi has a medical condition that makes dancing dangerous, as well as having to deal with attacks from the other dancers that grow increasingly more vicious. The similarity of the plot to Giselle is noticeable, with Gigi and Bette fighting over the same boy, especially given that Gigi's full name is Giselle - or maybe that's just my personal obsession showing.

Ballet is a merciless thing. To learn how to dance ballet, you ideally have to start at a very young age, and even then only have a relatively brief window where you are at your peak and can perform. Competition for roles is fierce, and standards around appearance are stringent. That basically all the girls in this novel have eating disorders is unsurprising - many top ballet schools prize slim people with barely any body fat, and will harshly criticise any dancer who is overweight. Obviously this is dangerous in any person, but particularly in teenage girls. The art is physically demanding and takes a toll on a person's body, with injuries being commonplace. I think this book portrayed all of that adequately. June's eating disorder, Bette's pill addiction, Gigi's increasing paranoia - all of these things are at least versions of real things ballet dancers experience. On top of that, there's the stress and competition. Solo parts are highly sought after, and attacks on soloists aren't unheard of, dramatised here when Gigi has glass placed in her ballet shoe among other things. Also not unheard of is inappropriate relationships between teachers and dancers. Adults in the ballet world grooming their young charges is abhorrent, but it does happen, and we see hints of it here with Mr K, the girls' teacher.

So then why am I so nonplussed by the book? Eh, it's probably because I didn't really think the story was that strong. The mystery of who's hurting Gigi was really obvious considering that we only have two principal candidates, and Bette's an obvious red herring. My biggest problem, though, was that two of the three protagonists just aren't that likeable. I understand and sympathise with their struggles, but I don't think they're humanised enough to keep my interest. The bitchy and cut-throat nature of the ballet world is emphasised again and again and again, to the point where I just sort of stopped caring about anything that happened to these girls. Gigi was the most human for me, by virtue of her doing mostly nothing wrong. And I know, the book's more trying to criticise the culture around ballet and the atmosphere fostered at top ballet schools, showing that this profession is what has chewed these girls up and spat them out, their plight isn't really their fault. Doesn't mean it kept my interest as a narrative, though. Furthermore, the meanness and backstabbing of the narrative starts really early on, we rarely get any moments of levity, and I think that would have made all the difference to humanise these girls a bit more. It's also noticeable that June's tormentor, Sei-Jin, is gay and June uses this against her - so is Will, who blackmails Bette. Unfortunate handling of your queer characters there. But for all that, I have to praise it for one thing - though it's heavily implied, the book never quite comes out and says that June was the one attacking Gigi, leaving the reader to work it out for themself. I like that! It's a nice move, and I really would have had an issue if the last section had been just June narrating MWA HA HA I WAS A BITCH ALL ALONG, so kudos!

Next, a girl's story of fleeing from war.

[earthing-australia]

The Health Benefits of Earthing Bed Sheets: Why You Should Consider It

n the modern world, where we are constantly surrounded by electromagnetic fields (EMFs), pollution, and other stressors, it's no surprise that people are seeking ways to reconnect with nature. One such method gaining traction is earthing. Also known as grounding, earthing involves direct contact with the Earth’s natural electric charge, which is believed to offer a variety of health benefits. With the rise of products like earthing bed sheets, this practice has become more accessible than ever.

For those looking to bring the benefits of earthing into their everyday lives, Earthing Australia offers a variety of grounding products, including earthing bed sheets. In this blog post, we will explore the many potential health benefits of using earthing bed sheet and why they should be part of your wellness routine.

1. Reduced Inflammation: One of the most well-documented benefits of earthing is its potential to reduce inflammation. Inflammation is often the root cause of many chronic conditions, including arthritis, heart disease, and autoimmune disorders. By connecting with the Earth’s natural electrons through an earthing bed sheet, you may experience a reduction in the markers of inflammation, helping to alleviate pain and discomfort.

Numerous studies have indicated that grounding can reduce inflammation by balancing the body’s internal electrical systems. The natural flow of electrons from the Earth helps to neutralize free radicals, which are the culprits behind inflammation in the body. When you sleep on an earthing bed sheet, your body absorbs these electrons throughout the night, potentially leading to better overall health.

2. Better Sleep: If you struggle with sleep issues, an earthing bed sheet could be a game-changer. Grounding has been shown to help improve sleep quality by regulating cortisol levels. Cortisol is a stress hormone that, when elevated, can disrupt your sleep patterns. By using an earthing bed sheet, you help to reset your body’s natural circadian rhythm, making it easier to fall asleep and wake up feeling refreshed.

Earthing promotes relaxation by reducing stress and anxiety. As a result, many users report feeling calmer and more relaxed, which makes it easier to drift off into a deep, restful sleep. Better sleep can lead to improved mood, enhanced cognitive function, and overall better health.

3. Improved Circulation and Reduced Pain: Earthing has also been linked to improved circulation, which is crucial for the proper functioning of the body’s systems. Improved circulation means that oxygen and nutrients can more efficiently reach cells and tissues, promoting healing and recovery. If you suffer from conditions like poor circulation, varicose veins, or general muscle aches, grounding with an earthing bed sheet could help improve your overall wellness.

Additionally, earthing bed sheets can reduce pain levels, especially for those with chronic pain conditions like fibromyalgia or back pain. The grounding effect has been shown to reduce muscle tension and soreness by improving blood flow and reducing inflammation.

4. Stress Reduction and Enhanced Mood: The modern world is full of stress, whether it’s from work, relationships, or the constant exposure to digital devices. Chronic stress can take a significant toll on both your physical and mental health. Earthing, through bed sheets or other products, helps to mitigate the negative effects of stress by lowering cortisol levels and promoting a sense of calm.

As mentioned earlier, grounding promotes relaxation and tranquility. Many people find that their mood improves after spending time connected to the Earth’s energy. With regular use of earthing bed sheets, you may notice a significant improvement in your overall sense of well-being.

Conclusion: Earthing bed sheets provide a simple yet effective way to tap into the Earth’s healing energy. Whether you’re looking to reduce inflammation, improve your sleep, enhance circulation, or simply reduce stress, grounding could offer significant benefits. By choosing products like those from Earthing Australia, you can make earthing a regular part of your life and experience the wide array of health benefits it offers.

[helenceciliaa]

Healthcare employee resilience

In the dynamic landscape of healthcare employee resilience, where professionals are often on the front lines, resilience becomes a cornerstone for navigating the myriad challenges they face. Healthcare employees play a pivotal role in providing quality patient care, but the demanding nature of their work can take a toll on their mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This article explores the significance of resilience in healthcare employees, emphasizing its role as a vital coping mechanism in the face of adversity.

Understanding Resilience in Healthcare:

Resilience can be defined as the ability to adapt and bounce back in the face of adversity. In the healthcare sector, resilience goes beyond personal strength; it's a professional imperative. Healthcare professionals routinely encounter high-pressure situations, long working hours, and emotionally charged environments. Developing resilience is crucial for maintaining well-being, preventing burnout, and ultimately delivering better patient care.

Factors Influencing Healthcare Employee Resilience:

Supportive Work Environment: A positive and supportive workplace culture is foundational to fostering resilience. When healthcare employees feel valued, heard, and supported by their colleagues and superiors, they are better equipped to navigate challenges with a sense of collective strength.

Training and Education: Continuous learning and professional development empower healthcare workers to adapt to evolving situations. Training programs that address stress management, emotional intelligence, and coping strategies contribute to building a resilient workforce.

Mental Health Resources: Access to mental health resources and support services is essential. Providing counseling services, mental health days, and stress management programs demonstrates an organizational commitment to employee well-being.

Team Collaboration: Collaboration and effective communication among healthcare teams can mitigate the impact of stressors. When team members support each other, share experiences, and work cohesively, it enhances overall resilience.

Self-Care Practices: Encouraging self-care practices is vital for healthcare employees. This includes promoting regular breaks, adequate rest, and activities that promote relaxation and rejuvenation outside of work hours.

Challenges to Healthcare Employee Resilience:

Workload and Burnout: Excessive workloads and burnout can erode resilience. Healthcare organizations must address workload issues, implement reasonable scheduling practices, and encourage employees to take breaks to prevent burnout.

Emotional Toll: Healthcare professionals often deal with emotionally charged situations, such as patient suffering or loss. Providing emotional support, debriefing sessions, and outlets for expressing emotions are crucial for maintaining resilience.

Pandemic-Related Stress: The global COVID-19 pandemic has brought unprecedented challenges to healthcare workers. Special attention should be given to pandemic-related stressors, with additional resources and support provided as needed.

Conclusion:

In the healthcare sector, resilience is not just a personal attribute but a collective endeavor. Organizations must actively cultivate a culture that supports the well-being of their employees. By addressing the challenges faced by healthcare workers and implementing strategies to enhance resilience, healthcare organizations can ensure a workforce that is not only capable of facing adversity but also thriving in the noble mission of providing quality care to patients. The resilience of healthcare employees is a pillar of strength, and its cultivation should be prioritized for the betterment of both individuals and the healthcare system as a whole.

[bookity101]

Not reblogging the thing because that’s just asking for trouble. And I don’t believe enough people read my posts for this to go anywhere. But I think this needs said so I’m saying it to the Void.

I just saw a post where someone who used to work as a barista was bragging about changing cops coffees from caffeinated to decaf and charging military service members extra instead of applying a discount.

Speaking as someone who had to watch her Dad serve in the Army Nat. Guard for 25 years through two deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan (first at the height of tensions, second right before the chaos in Afghanistan in 2011) who only signed up because it was a steady pay check when his wife was pregnant with their eldest (Hi) and he’d lost his job as a high school math teacher…. I really don’t think this is the win that you think it is.

Targeting the individuals in the organizations that do so much harm is not going to change anything. There are too many kids wearing uniforms who do not understand what they signed up for.

No one tells you that the people at the top don’t care about Truth or Justice when you sign up.

No one admits that you’re not going to be able to have the perfect posting or the training you want if they need you somewhere else. Engineers drive trucks because they needed drivers, not engineers. Brilliant linguists get shunted into supply coordination because they’re also good at math. Gentle people are trained to kick doors down and shoot without hesitation because that’s the job.

My dad got set in communications as an officer because he already had a college degree and knew how to work a computer.

He got lucky.

He has spent his career watching out for those kids who got shafted. The ones who should be on suicide watch but won’t admit it. Helping people save their marriages when the toll of being military gets to high.

He’s a good man. Which means he’s disgusted with how the military is used like the governments attack dog. That he doesn’t encourage people to join up. That he wants the army to be used for defense and only defense because the world we live in is not a kind one and innocents need a shield. Not a sword.

Charging him extra for coffee might make you feel like you “Stuck it to the Man”. But he’s no more The Man than an avowed pacifist who never would touch a weapon no matter what it cost.

You want to stick to the man? Vote. Start petitions. Make your representatives work FOR their people not their pocketbook. Put your money into funding the people who make the changes you want to happen. Volunteer for your candidates and help people understand the differences what policies sound good vs the ones that are good. Hold the people who make decisions accountable when they screw up.

Get. Yourself. Educated.

Stop waiting for someone else to change things and being petty to people stuck in a bad system because it makes you feel like you did something.

Get your metaphorical and maybe even your physical self up off the couch and help move the line.

[mystlnewsonline]

Darnell Fulton Sentenced to 35 Years

Louisiana Man Sentenced to 35 Years for Conspiracy to Commit Forced Labor and Transporting a Minor for Criminal Sexual Activity (STL.News) A Louisiana man was sentenced today to 35 years in prison for conspiracy to commit forced labor and transporting a minor with intent to engage in criminal sexual activity.   The defendant was also required to pay restitution of $979,800 to the victims. Between June 2016 and May 2019, Darnell Fulton, 39, of Pineville, used violence, sexual abuse, withholding of food, degradation, and intimidation to coerce multiple minors to work for his brownie baking business and provide him the profits.  The defendant required the victims to travel to as many as 20 to 30 locations a day, such as plazas, car dealerships, law firms, restaurants, and parking lots, to sell brownies.  The victims worked late into the night, either selling or baking the brownies and sold them during the day.  In fact, the victims typically worked seven days a week with very few breaks and had to meet a daily sales quota the defendant set.  The defendant regularly assaulted the victims because he was not satisfied with their daily work performance, especially if they did not meet his projected sales daily quota.  For example, the defendant frequently required the victims to stay in a push-up or plank position for hours, and he often whipped them with a belt if they got out of proper form.  The defendant also made the minor victims perform sexual acts with him and transported them across state lines to engage in criminal sexual activity with him. “Forced labor, especially when it involves sexual abuse of children, violence, and mental and physical anguish, is heinous conduct that has no place in our society today.  The defendant mercilessly exploited children for his own financial gain and personal gratification, and we will not tolerate it,” said Assistant Attorney General Kristen Clarke of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division.  “This sentence demonstrates the Justice Department’s commitment to standing up for the survivors of forced labor schemes.  We will not only pursue and prosecute human and child traffickers but also seek restitution and use those funds to help survivors rebuild and reclaim their lives.” “The defendant’s actions, in this case, were deplorable and despicable,” said U.S. Attorney Brandon B. Brown for the Western District of Louisiana.  “Forced labor is a form of modern-day slavery, and we have a duty to protect the most vulnerable of our society.  He had no hesitation in torturing and demoralizing these victims, his own children.  We are grateful for this sentence and hope that the victims can begin the healing process.  This defendant is a danger to society, has no regard for human life, and we believe it is appropriate that he will be spending a long time in the custody of the Federal Bureau of Prisons.” “Mr. Fulton’s guilty plea and the sentencing today should be of great comfort to the victims of his depravity,” said Special Agent in Charge Douglas A. Williams Jr. of the FBI New Orleans Field Office.  “We thank our partners, the Alexandria Police Department, the United States Attorney’s Office for the Western District of Louisiana, and the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division for their assistance in this case.  We will continue the work of rooting out those who seek to target minors for their own bizarre obsessions.” Assistant Attorney General Clarke, U.S. Attorney Brown, and Special Agent in Charge Williams made the announcement. The FBI New Orleans Field Office investigated the case with assistance from the Alexandria Police Department. Assistant U.S. Attorney John Luke Walker for the Western District of Louisiana and Trial Attorney Maryam Zhuravitsky of the Civil Rights Division’s Human Trafficking Prosecution Unit prosecuted the case. Anyone who has information about human trafficking should report that information to the National Human Trafficking Hotline toll-free at 1-888-373-7888, which is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. SOURCE: U.S. Department of Justice Read the full article

[humdelhi]

“It was a 400m race during the annual sports day in school, and no girl from my house was participating. The teacher-in-charge came to me and said, ‘Navjot, why don’t you go and participate? It’s okay if you don’t win, but someone from the house should participate.’ I used to be a plump kid in school, and hence not really an ideal candidate for a race. But , being a house prefect, I thought that it was my responsibility to ensure participation from my house, so I agreed. It turned out to be one of the worst decisions of my life! Within the first 100 metres I was huffing and puffing, while the other girls were way ahead of me. By the time I reached 300m, I could not walk anymore and just sat on the ground, defeated, while the rest of the contenders had long reached the finish line. I used to be a confident kid in school, who participated in various extra-curricular activities and didn’t let anyone dare to body shame me for my weight. But this time, the jeering and the calls of ‘thunder thighs’ from the crowd took a toll on my self-esteem. This incident accounts for my only experience in sports, and also perhaps for my aversion to physical activity, till about two years ago.

It was around that time that I’d quit my job after seven years of working, to take a break from the burnout. I wasn’t doing much at home, and decided to work on myself. I joined the gym, adopted healthy lifestyle choices and lost a ton of weight. I’d often panic about my lack of productivity, and feel that I had made a big mistake quitting my job that was paying so well. But exercising kept me afloat. I would find consolation in the fact that at least all the work I was putting in then - the hours at the gym every week, were being spent on myself, to help me grow out of the limited label of being fat that in a way I had long been confined to. I came across a tournament called ‘100 Days of Running’ and signed up for it on a whim. For three and a half months, I used to run two kilometres without break every day, be it sunshine, rain, sickness or health. It became a self-issued challenge for myself, the next big goal on my chart; and I pushed myself to achieve it.

I had become much more confident about myself and started loving the person in the mirror. I now wanted to further test my limits. I signed up for a 5km race in Gurgaon, just to see if I could finish it. To my surprise, I ended up winning it. From a plus-sized girl who couldn’t finish a 400m race in school to now winning a 5km one in the city, life for me has come full circle!”

[local-seo-specialist-bd]

Importance of IVF Center in Bangladesh

IVF, or in-vitro fertilization, is a complex medical procedure that allows infertile women to get pregnant. Infertility cases have increased in recent years, emphasizing the need of having an IVF center in Bangladesh.

After analyzing a patient’s fitness situation, IVF doctors and OB-GYNs will advise them on this option. Not everyone indeed seeks IVF treatment.

Many infertile couples pursue IVF therapy and are happy with their child. That is why it is critical to understand this procedure and the significance of having an IVF center in Bangladesh for infertile couples.

What is IVF?

IVF or in-vitro fertilization is a series of methods that helps infertile couples to conceive. It occurs in a laboratory where a human egg is fertilized by sperm. If the fertilized egg (embryo) successfully implants into the uterus, pregnancy may result.

What Are the Motives for the Usage of IVF?

IVF is used to treat infertility and some hereditary disorders. It may help people who are sexually and gender diverse (LGBTIAQ+) to start a family, as well as unmarried people who want to become parents.

You could think about using IVF for a variety of reasons, including if you or a family member has:

low sperm count

problems with ovulation due to polycystic ovarian syndrome

problems with the fallopian tubes

if both of you have been sterilized

endometriosis

want to avoid passing on inherited genetic disorders

Some people may choose to use donated sperm or eggs as well. For example, if a couple is at risk of passing on a crucial genetic disease to their offspring, they need to use donor sperm or donor eggs. People with cancer may have their healthy eggs or sperm frozen before beginning cancer treatment, which may jeopardize their fertility.

When the cancer treatment is over, these frozen eggs or sperm can be used in IVF. Sexually and gender-variant people (LGBTIQA+) and infertile people may choose to use IVF to start a family. As a result, having an IVF center in Bangladesh is vital.

Should I Strive for Different Fertility Remedies First?

For some people, IVF is the intended treatment from the start.  Others want to try other reproductive treatments first. Such as fertility medicines, surgical procedures, or artificial insemination. Your doctor can provide further information about the treatment options recommended for you.

What is the Success Rate of IVF?

Many factors influence your chances of success with IVF. Your age, the age of your companion or donor, and the reason for infertility are all important considerations.

You should consult your doctor or a fertility clinic about your chances of successfully becoming pregnant and giving birth. This risk is lower if you are under the age of 35 and increases with age. By the age of 44, the chances of success are one in a hundred. Some females require five rounds of treatment or more to be successful, but others never become pregnant.

How a Whole Lot Does IVF Cost?

IVF is an expensive and time-consuming process. Repeated cycles may have an emotional and physical toll on the people who go through them, as well as their families.

Financial costs vary, but each cycle of IVF might cost several thousand dollars. Medicare will reimburse you for a few IVF devices if they are medically necessary to get pregnant. Your fitness fund may also cover other aspects of treatment.

There are also the costs of medications, examinations, and day surgery procedures. Even if you get the treatment, you may want to take a day off from work.

If you’re considering IVF, consult with your doctor, the IVF centers in Bangladesh, and your fitness fund (if you have one) to see what’s covered and any out-of-pocket charges.

What Are the Dangers of IVF?

It is essential to remember that there are risks involved with becoming pregnant using IVF.  It can be terrifying and emotionally devastating. Medical risks include the ovaries being stimulated a lot, which may be fatal. This is known as ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS).

How Can I Locate an IVF Medical Doctor?

Your doctor can recommend you to a fertility specialist, IVF clinic, or specialized hospital unit for treatment. Some public sanatorium devices collaborate with private clinics.

The IVF center in Bangladesh has a list of approved aided reproduction treatment devices for various conditions.

You must consult with your doctor or a fertility specialist about treatment options. However, deciding whether or not to pursue IVF is an entirely private decision. You must consider the monetary costs as well as the physical and mental strains involved.

Read Also: Tips to Get Custody Back from Grandparents

Conclusion

Because of infertility or other health issues, not every woman obtains a clean pregnancy. If you want to have a child, you should consult with an IVF specialist. Many childless couples are now able to become parents because of the miracle of IVF.

Infertility symptoms do not appear immediately; they appear on the day it begins. However, as a result of carelessness or neglect, it becomes so damaged that natural treatment is cannot be an option. In this case, IVF is the best hope that can help.

We hope this post has helped answer your questions about the importance of IVF centers in Bangladesh. If you have a problem or a query, you can always seek help from an expert and obtain answers to your queries.

The Article Was Originally Published at: magzinenow.com

[each-uisge]

@weareallstilllearningright

Actually, I have another take and you’re gonna be my example punching dummy for this bastard fucking attitude.

First, I don’t give a shit if an artisan - textile, painting, or otherwise - has a day job that pays them well, lmao. The awful truth is that ALL handmade crafts are underpriced. The nature of our current society requires it. It’s not our fault wages are stagnating in this shitfuck late capitalist world.

There is no actual industry problem of hobbyists overpricing, there is only artisans who know what they’re worth pricing more than you think they deserve. You and people like you are the problem, not someone’s hypothetical blanket prices.

68k isn’t fucking shit. Yeah, it’s comfortable. Yeah, it might be very well off in some parts of the United States, but with inflation the way it is, that’s the new middle class, lmao. Sorry not sorry.

With the average rent in the US at $1472, source, which I’ll round up to $1500 for easy calculating, a person who makes 68k a year makes roughly $5700 a month and, according to the brutal 3x rent rule landlords go by, can afford a rent of about $1888. 

Looks like a lot, doesn’t it? 

No, it’s not. Consider utilities, car payments, the money and time it takes to fund their art projects, which are very expensive, btw. I don’t think I need to repeat the breakdown of yarn cost from the op’s images. Consider the possible costs of children, medical expenses, food. Everyday living expenses. The possibility that they live in an area where $1800 is the average one bedroom apartment rent. 68k disappears very, very fast.

I’m not saying people who make 68k are not wealthy, because they’re comfortable while the majority of people scrape unfairly by, but to bitch that someone who has reached comfortable rather than actively suffering doesn’t deserve to be paid for their hard work? Fuck you. 

The wage disparity is not an individual artisan’s fault, nor is it their responsibility to fix. Your New York comment is particularly offensive, because it’s not the artists responsibility to charge what someone in fucking North Dakota can afford when they, statistically, live places like New York, LA, San Francisco, and Seattle, which are huge art industry hubs where artists of multiple industries - illustration and art, fashion, tattooing, etc - are likely to have to live in order to be hired. I wish people in poor areas were paid more, so they could afford my, and other artisan’s, prices. I wish I was paid more, that we were all paid more.

(EDIT: those of y'all that think I’m exaggerating, if you work like this and do happen to be in new York just that first step of minimum wage x 2 is already at $22 AN HOUR. Now remeber this arsehole is charging you for the amount of time it takes him to shop. You might end up paying $66 for him to sip at a slushie in a mall for a couple hours before the work has even started. Seriously tell me how charging like this doesn’t lead to elitist consumption of media reinforincing the class decide wherein “real art” is for rich people and poor people pirate what they can and don’t look at anything hand made twice.)

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. $22hr is fucking pennies for my industry, for the entire art industry across the board. Artisans making things like handmade blankets are not the elitist fucking pricks of the gallery world who have well off jobs and take a year or more to finish one overhyped fucking conceptual piece only rich people will understand. Just say you hate artists being charged fairly because you’re poor and go home. 

Artists who sell individual pieces have to jack up their prices because the amount of items they sell in a month are usually unpredictable. There is no guaranteed shitty salary like at a retail job. There is no guaranteed hourly pay waiting for you at the end of a weekly pay cycle. There is boy I sure hope I sell some fucking items this month because I have rent to pay or I’m in the red because I haven’t made back the money I paid in materials. We make a lot in very short bursts, and then make nothing for weeks. 

We invest money and time into materials and conventions and galleries and shelf spaces at brick and mortar stores all while hoping we can make that money back. It has to be expensive because every single fucking art job, whether it’s textile or painting or woodworking, is feast or famine. Day jobs often keep us even, not edge us up in crazy profits. They keep us from going bankrupt.

You (who I’m assuming makes shit money at retail because I like to think there’s no way someone as bitter as you makes a decent living and continues to bitch about $22hr knit hats, or $22hr paintings) don’t deserve someone’s original piece. No one does. You pay what they’re charging, because they made it, or you don’t. Artist’s get to decide what they’re worth, and you get to decide that you can’t afford that. 

I charge $45hr for illustration, I markup for materials after my hours are done, and I usually push it up a little bit after that because my skills are unique and deserve it. The art store that I buy my paint from is over an hour from where i work in a heavily trafficked area, so yeah, it costs fucking extra in gas just to buy the goddamn $15 a tube paint. I’m going to charge for that. Most artists don’t live next to their art store. Some artists don’t live near one at all and have to buy online, where there is either a large wait time to get their supplies or an expensive extra shipping charge to get it next day, if that’s even an option. 

So yeah, we’re going to charge for shopping. 

Your ignorance harms artists. Like, actively. When I go to events and am selling $35, hand-embellished prints, people scoff at THAT being too expensive. Because they believe we are able to charge as little as giant companies paying for slave labor in poor countries can. There is time, love, skill, invisible years of fucking practice for us to be able to even offer you our products/services. Your attitude hurts us. And, btw, when we sell less volume because of people thinking our products are too expensive, we have to charge more per piece. I’d love to sell $5 (unembellished) prints. I could afford to if I sold enough. They need to be $20 or else I don’t fucking eat after an event where I don’t sell enough.

It’s not like artists fucking spit on poor people who dare interact with them. A lot of us are poor too for fucks sake! We appreciate their time and love of our work. We don’t always have something they can afford. It’s not our goddamn job to have something every person on the planet can afford. Artists’ work and lives are not community service lmao, regardless of their income. 

This isn’t the medieval period, you don’t have to be a baron who works for the church to afford a single tiny painting of Jesus, or a purple shirt made of velvet.

Signed lovingly, an artist tired of dealing with people like you.

Guy wanted me to make him a queen-size blanket.

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

Ranch Hand: Chapter 12

Farmer!Veteran!Bucky Barnes X Teen!Reader (Small town and Farmer AU)

Series MasterList

Series summary: You ran away from your nightmare of a family, you found a small town, population 200. In this town you meet a retired army veteran turned farmer who hires you as farm hand. Only mystery will you two be able overcome your pasts together.

Chapter Summary: Bucky starts getting ready for you.

Series Warnings: Mentions nightmares, Child abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, war, swearing, mentions death by cancer, mentions of alcohol and illegal substance abuse. please tell me if you see anymore!!! But do so politely please.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions foster care and foster parents

Divider: @skylightlantern

Bucky hasn't talked or seen you in a few days. You were successfully removed from your mom and stepdad's home. Your step dad was getting charged with, child abuse, assault, and driving under the influence. Your mom was being charged with, child abuse, child endangerment, and assault of a officer. She got into a little altercation with one of the cops, Joaquin Torres, who was arresting her. He's okay luckily just a little bruised luckily Sam, who as arresting your step dad jumped in to help Torres. Because this is a small town they normally only have one or two officers on duty at a time. Nothing too big happens here except bar fights and traffic stops.

On to other news, you're currently in a few towns over with a foster family until Bucky is able to take you in. He immediately started the process. Steve built you a bed, and then refurbished some old furniture for Bucky to use in your room. Bucky couldn't get his mind off of you, he had no clue where you were, and he hasn't got to talk to you. But Ms. Peters assured him that you're safe.

"Buck I need your help carrying the bed up." Steve says walking in. "Buck?"

"Huh? Sorry just thinking. Where is it?"

"In my truck, I took it apart but it's easy to rebuild." He looks at his friend concerned. He doesn't think Bucky should do this. He's having a hard time coming back to himself after the accident. Sure Steve has a hard time sometimes but Bucky, he knows Bucky deals with nightmares every night. Sure some aren't as bad and others but it still takes a toll on Bucky but he won't go to see someone. He knows your gonna be a little messed up in the head too, you probably also have PTSD he just doesn't want Bucky taking on more than he can handle.

"Okay lets get it upstairs then." Bucky said putting his work boots on. Steve follows him out to the truck before the get all the pieces into a small back bedroom. It's next door to Bucky's room. It was empty before, except a few boxes and Bucky's flag that he's been meaning to put on the mantle for month. It's was a beige but Bucky planned on repainting it when you moved in. He just needs it to have the basic necessities, bed, dresser, window closet, but Steve did draw a picture of the farm to hang up in your room.

"It looks good."

"Thank you for your help Steve."

"Of course man." He smiles at his friend.

———

You sigh walking down the stairs. These people were nice but you didn't want to be here. You knew no one, and you just wanted to see Bucky and the animal. You start school in a week and you're not ready, you won't no anyone there. You just want to be with people you know and trust. Luckily you can use your phone now. You had it turned off with the battery taken out of it when you were on the run. But now it's back on and you can text your friends.

You have your own room, and yeah it's nice having a bed, and being able to shower. But you don't have a bike, which you hope is still at Bucky's. Your dad bought you that bike a year before his death.

"Good morning." Your foster dad's, Nathan says smiling. He was a stay at home (foster) dad, currently in they have 2 foster kids, you included and their 2 kids.

"Morning." You mumble sitting at the kitchen table next to your foster sister, Phoebe.

"I talked to your caseworker she gave us the number of the guy who's going to foster you after us!" He says as he gives you the breakfast he made.

"You have bucky's number? Can I have it?" You perk up.

"Of course you can."

"Thank you." You smile. You put the number in your phone, deciding you'll call him later. You eat your breakfast in silence as your foster dad and the other children talk. "I'm going for a walk." You say before leaving the table. You out your shoes on and walked out. You looked at your phone as you walked down the street. You should call Bucky.

You click his contact before calling. You hope that he will answer. You need to hear his voice, you need to know that he's actually trying to foster you. You just need to know you can still depend on him. You don't like depending on people, it never ended well in the past, by you don't have a choice here.

"Yeah?" You smile hearing.

"Bucky? It's y/n/"

"Y/n! They gave you my number! Thank goodness I was really worried about you." Bucky says into the phone softly.

"Really?"

"Yeah. How's your foster home?"

"It's fine I guess, they're nice. But they're just I don't know they try to hard." You say.

"They just want you to be comfortable." He tries to assure.

"I know but I don't want to be here."

"Well then I have good news for you! I'm safety proofing the farm so I can be a foster parent!"

"Why would you have to safety proof if I'm the only person your fostering and I'm 14." You say confused.

"I don't know I chose not to question it. What color do you want your room?"

"I don't care."

"Beige it is! I didn't really want to paint it." He chuckles.

"Mhm. Bucky will you be there at the court hearing? Mrs. Peters said I have to testify against them. I don't want to be in the same room as them."

"Yeah I'll be there in the audience I promise." You smile to yourself as you sit on a bench at this random playground you found.

"Thank you."

"Of course. Steve built you a bed and refurbished a dresser for you. So you're room is almost done! Is until next week to get my house ready cause someone from Cps is going to come check it out."

"Do you think I'll be back in marvel falls before school starts?"

"Probably not. But Steve has a friend, Tony who's mentee is about your age, so maybe I can introduce you to him so you know someone." Bucky offers. "He's an okay guy, I guess but maybe he can introduce you to some people he's lived here his whole life."

"I guess I'll meet him."

"Okay I'll talk to Steve. I don't get along with Tony, so Steve will be a middle man."

"Okay buck I have to go bye."

"Bye Doll text me okay? And call me whenever."

"Okay."

Taglist: @rachaelswrites @killerqueenfan @lukajim @lrosenblut26 @worldssidechick @littleolive24 @mischiefsemimanaged @retiredfromglad @katopotato0 @xennityxen @bucky-boo-bear @thekillingjoke-haha @sunny-the-kitsune @i-have-no-life-charlie @tired-spider-siblings @buckymydarlingangel @ducks1011 @evans-stan-thirstthots @buckysbaaee @amorluzymelodia @hanainneverland @bxtchboy69 @wooya1224 @bubs-world @marvelbabes24 @its-sunflower-stardew @lil-mamas-stuff @ogmisslove @austynparksandpizza @wickedravyn @fluffy-bnny @yoruebeautiful @carmellasworld @icrytomuch @teddybear2luv @krissydclayton93 @devilslilbabysblog @masterof-agony @gamingdevil101 @holybatflapexpert @oceaniamaddness

[chocominnie]

Redemption  03 — JJK. (M)

→: This is book two to my story Desperado. Read that one before continuing on to read this one.

→ pairing: Mafia!Jungkook x reader

→ genre: Angst, smut , a bit of fluff

→ Word count: 5.8k

→ summary:  It’s been 4 years since everything that happened. If he could re-do everything he would, but cannot. With Won-Shik dead, and everyone’s back’s turned against him.. what can he do? You took a toll on him to the point where it’s hard to function without you and everyone’s concerned. Another gang has entered their teritory and is giving them a run for their money. The heir to the mafia thrown is now in charge with everyone waiting for his first big move. Yet, how can someone so broken inside take care of business though?

Warnings : This honestly isn’t for the light hearted and the weak. Drug dependency, drug mentions, high angst, mental illness, depression, anxiety, assault, gore, guns, usage of weapons, daddy kink, bigdick!jk, hair pulling, soft sex, rough sex, squirting, mouth fucking, overstimulation, consensual drunk/tipsy sex, protected & unprotected sex. I may be forgetting some so sorry in advance!

Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken.

The emotions going through your body right now feels unexplainable. You don’t know whether you’re mad at Jungkook, sad that he has a child and possible partner, or the full fact that you just blew your entire cover way too early. The child part hurts the most. By the looks of it from you, she has to be right after you left Seoul. There’s no way it couldn’t be because the small kid looks like she's at least 4-5 years old and looks exactly like him. Which means, he really was just a bad mafia boy who used you for himself only. 

Should it hurt? No. But it does. Even after all that shit that he put you through from then up until now, you would think you have nothing but pure hatred for him. You do, but sometimes that sensitive part comes out of you at the thought of him and everything you had gone through which was very traumatizing to you. He looked shocked when he first saw you and that is understandable, but the begging and crying he did after in the parking lot was too much for you. 

He didn’t deserve to beg and cry. Hell, he didn’t even deserve to utter your damn name. Yet you felt numb and your heart ached at that very moment because everything just came rushing back to you. Instead of crying with him you masked your emotions yet again and gave him a stone cold stare before pulling off. 

Maybe this whole thing is a bad idea.

You can’t help the tears that escape your eyes as you drag your feet towards your apartment. What do you even call this feeling? Locking the door behind you, the cold door can be felt against your back as you try to take a deep breath in to calm your crying down. No luck. Instead that just makes you wail even louder with snot running down your nose and your make-up ruined. 

Four years later and Jungkook still is a sensitive subject for you. It’s disgusting to you that he is able to make you cry like this when you don’t deserve to. All those nights and days for the past four years where you'd just completely shut down and let it all out. Today is also one of those days. 

Pulling out your phone, you manage to shakily type in a contact name. It feels like you can’t breathe and your trying, you’re trying so hard to catch your breath and stop the crying but you can’t. Everything seems to feel like it’s closing in around you and your body physically isn’t allowing yourself to calm down. Fuck him. Fuck everything you had to do with him. Fuck ever meeting that piece of shit too. 

“ Hello? Why are you crying?”

You hadn’t even noticed the FaceTime rings had stopped. You try to say something but you can’t catch your breath to say something so all that comes out is your loud cries. 

He picks up on the situation quick. You’re having an anxiety attack. The boy quickly grabs his phone and all you see is him rushing out of the place he was in outside. “ I’m on my way over right now.’’ 

You didn’t care about that. You were more scared at the fact that you couldn't get yourself to calm down. Usually by now your breathing would be under control and your cries slowed down to sniffles but this is not the case this time. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest, and your legs and arms shake uncontrollably. 

Until three loud knocks can be heard coming from the door to your apartment. It’s not in you right now to have the strength to open it so you grab your phone to text the apartment key-code to him. Soon enough the sound of the code beeps in and you move out of the way to let the door swing open. Relief rushes over your body to see him. His strong body swoops you up effortlessly as his hand pats your back. Clinging on to him, you wrap your legs around him as your breathing slowly turned into hiccups into his neck. 

“ Was it him? Did the thought of him trigger you?”

Sitting down on the couch, he places you next to him to where your head is laying on his lap. “ I told you coming to Seoul was a bad idea.”

“ I saw him, Sejun.”

Sejun’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head when he makes eye contact with you. That’s the last thing he ever wanted you to do, hell, when you first texted him via instagram that you’d be coming to Seoul and wished to meet up with him. It had been years since you two last talked. Yes, he knew you were alive, yes he kept your secret.. but he didn’t think you’d ever return again. 

“ You went out of your way... to see that piece of shit who nearly had you killed?” His voice is angry, something you haven’t heard before so it startles you a bit. “ Did you really think that was a good idea?”

Sitting up from his lap, you position yourself so now that your legs are resting onto of his. “ I didn’t go out of my way. He saw me.. recognized me, and the worst part is he has a kid now.”

That part still hurts.

A heavy sigh escapes his mouth while the look of disappointment rests on his face, “ I really think you should go back to the states. He saw you, now we fear what he might do. I don’t want you to be actually killed this time.”

That sentenced triggered all the rage in you. You didn’t come here for nothing. Yeah, it hurt to see him. Yeah, your feeling got the best of you. These next few months will not go to waste though. It’s time to toughen up and get your sweet revenge back at him. 

“ I’m not going back. I have to complete the semester to graduate. It’s my decision to do what I have to do to the guy that installed utter fear and trauma into me. I don’t want to live scared and choked up. He deserves everything bad he gave me in the worst way possible.”

Sejun isn’t happy and thats clear to you. The way his famous scowl sits upon his face with his eyebrows furrowed in anger, you wouldn’t of dared to edge him on about the conversation any longer. “ You should’ve let the police handle it.”

Which he is essentially right but, given the fact that the police could be easily tempted with money. “ He might have connections with them. That’s too risky given that his father never once was suspicious to the authority.”

“ You’re right. Last time was a close call and I just don’t want you hurt again.”

The room soon falls silent and the two of you don’t know what to say again. It’s either you leave for the states or you get your revenge as planned. States isn’t an option, but revenge is. Sighing heavily, you can’t help but to wonder what he may be doing right now. Maybe he's as fucked up as you when you two crossed paths.

Which is correct.

Now that he knows for sure you are here in Seoul it wasn’t easy to convince everyone else. To them, he’s just hallucinating on heavy drugs again. Jungkook wants them to believe him and wants everyone to help find your current location. He’s set up camp in his office with his two PC’s, and his MacBook from University, along with thousands of street cam footage of Seoul. Still running off of 4 hours of sleep from the night prior, he’s determined to find exactly where you’ve been hiding yourself. Nothing but the light of the screens can be seen in the office, the rest is dark. He’s down to his last blunt of the night that’s perfectly laced with wax for a stronger kick of dophamine and serotonin. As if he really needed it, but still depends on it to get rid of the bad thoughts of you everyday. You meant the world to him then, and you are forever locked in now. He can’t lose you one more time. 

“ Just... just come over right now. I can prove it to you right fucking now that she’s alive. I fucking give you my word. Bangtan’s Honor.”

A frustrated Jungkook sighs heavily once hanging up the phone. This feels like a new mission again. This is the part where he has to play his cards right with you, the same as when you two were in high school. Except for this time, you know the truth and nothing but the sole truth of what he does.

Locking his phone screen, he sits back down in his office chair with his legs propped up against the desk. Your picture is his lock screen and it’s one from your now deactivated instagram. A selfie you took with Ayami at the Christmas parade. He's cropped Ayami out to where it’s only your face smiling. It was dark outside but the lighting from the city behind you two was enough to illuminate your face. That pretty smile that he desperately tries to imagine everyday for each day you were taken away from him, is now in Seoul again. 

In which he didn’t know that another lost soul is back in Seoul again.. until that text. It’s been years since she’d been back in the same place that broke everyone. Ayami still kept in touch with Crystal from time to time. Crystal didn’t mind speaking to her, but always kept in mind that she had lied to you about Jungkook. Yes, Crystal did know her and Jungkook dated prior, but to her understanding she had thought that Ayami had already explained that to you back then. So it was news to Crystal when Ayami had said she’d be going to visit Seoul till the end of the summer. It’s nearing the end of spring now with the semi-cold days turning into warmer.

Do you want to meet? I have something I want to say to you.

That was sent hours ago from her while Jungkook was planning out his way to find you. His stomach had fluttered with curisoty but his body language was the opposite in which he had immediately locked his phone and tossed it to the side of him. It had been years since he'd last spoken to his partner in crime. Ayami had left abruptly to move back in with her mother after what went down with you. She never contacted Jungkook again until now.

Part of him wants to know what she could possibly say after all these years. She’d left him cold turkey while grieving the love of his life. The two were assigned the mission and the least she could of did was take some responsibility of it. The other part of him wants her to piss off and block her number for good. Then again, it’s Ayami, and Jungkook had always had a soft spot for her considering they were best friends before dating. He hates that the most, having just the right amount of heart left for her for friendship only, its sickening to him. 

Picking his phone back up, his hands quickly unlock the screen and head straight towards the messages. A big sigh escapes his mouth before he begins to type a reply back. Is it really worth it? He can’t help but to question himself. What if it’s something important that’s came up? Perhaps she knows something of your whereabouts. 

Meet me for a late dinner? Let’s meet at 마포숯불갈비. 

If she does know anything, then she could possibly help with locating you. If not then that could blow his cover on what he’s doing. Either way, Jungkook didn’t care the outcome. As long as it is you who’s alive and breathing well. Biting his lip, he puts his phone down and hangs his head back. Nothing can be more frustrating than this.

“ Your housekeeper let us in kid. What’s going on now?” A thick Italian accent fills the room causing Jungkook to lift his head back up to the voice. There she is, long brown wavy hair, sharp cheek bones, and her signature red lipstick.

Her eyes are brown but mysterious In such a way. It compliments her perfect eyebrows, that has a small scar on the right,  and beautiful smile that could light up the room. If Casper hadn’t caught her, Jungkook always reminded him that he could of had her if it weren’t for yn. The two always joked like that. 

An annoyed Casper lowers his eyes at Jungkook who seemingly raises his middle finger up at him with a smile. “ I’m high but not that fucking high to hallucinate, dumb ass.” 

“ You said that the last time.” He leans on the wall next to all black couch, “Then we admitted you to the crazy house.” 

Jungkook didn’t like that comment at all. He raises up from his chair glaring at Casper. Valentina places one hand on her hip and the other one smacks Casper’s arm giving him a warning sign to stop. “ I don’t need you two fighting today. Save it for the bad ones.”

Jungkook doesn’t let up though. He begins to walk towards Casper like a hungry wolf thirsty for blood yet Casper doesn’t move an inch just to challenge the young man. “ Apologize Casper.” A worried Valentina says, looking up at her husband. 

“ Yeah. Do what she says Casper. Apologize like the smart-ass you are.” The two are inches away from each other with Jungkook smirking at him with his chest puffed out a bit. Normally Jungkook would have been backed down by now considering the fact that he has to be respectful to Casper no matter the circumstance.

This is different.

Casper chuckles, “ Absolutely not. Now can you tell us why you’re wasting our time again? She’s dead. You have the obituary.” 

He breaks away his stance from Casper to guide the couple towards his computer setup. Casper and Val give a look at each other, both shaking their heads at the fact that he’s gone all out again. To the left of them is the sculpture he had worked on of you. It sits on a small accent table with pictures littered of you and only you, all right next to the black couch. The look of disappointment is upon Valentina’s face. She hates when he goes this far. You’re becoming a frequent obsessive thing for him and it has been time for that to shut down. 

“ I went to the ice cream shop with Eden and she was there. I saw her and she saw me, but she ran away from me.” Jungkook motions for them to come look at the computer screen. His heart pounds at the thought that they will finally believe him. The proof is right here, evidence clearly on the screen.

Valentina is the one to take a look first, heels clicking away in which she is unamused because to her he could have mistaken you for anybody. “ From the pictures I’ve seen of her, she had her natural hair color and not this honey brown. Her breasts weren’t that big.. she was a bit flat chested.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “ Because she’s dyed her hair and... I don’t know maybe her breasts grew.. or she got them done?” His voice is unsure about that last part but he is sure that it is you.

“ Watch.” He presses a button on the near right of the screen and the video starts playing. Valentina watches with intent, because maybe it could be you and she’s just being in denial. “ Here I come in with Nari... the workers say my name and she freezes right here.” He points at your figure, clearly distressed.

That was a dead giveaway, but Valentina still has her doubts. Continuing to watch the video, she uses her index finger to do a come here motion to her unamused husband. “ You should see this babe.” 

An uneasy Casper hovers over the two of them watching your every move. When he sets eyes on the figure, Casper nearly chokes on his own spit. It couldn’t be you, is it? All color has drained from his face as he watches Jungkook walk up to you at the register. Your body language tells Casper you did not expect him to be there the way you’re visually seen shaking and rummaging through your purse. 

But what the hell were you doing back in Seoul?

“ I call her name and go after her out the door, and I couldn’t get a clear zoomed in part but look you can sort of see her face.” With a few taps and clicks on the keyboard, there pops up a zoomed in picture of you in the car where Jungkook was begging for you to say something. 

Casper looks at Valentina who looks at him with eyes wide and worried. This was not supposed to happen. You were to follow the rules and escape quietly and live a normal, better life than the one you had here before. You were told specifically by Casper do not return under any circumstances. Hell, he even paid for everything you wanted, and even included therapy because he felt bad that you had to live with something so traumatizing. Yet here you are, back in Seoul and Jungkook has finally saw you. Casper knows this is gonna make or break their relationship, but how will Jungkook find out the truth is the real worry.

Jungkook raises an eyebrow at the couple, but realizes that they are probably as shocked as him. “ She’s alive, and I want to find her. Will you two help me?”

That sentence causes Casper to gulp and bite his lip out of anxiousness. He can’t search for you because he’s the one who sent you away along with your parents. That defeats the purpose.  “ I.. I don’t think it’s a good idea. Consideri-”

“ No. No. No. NO!” Jungkook yells, shaking his head at them. He’s can’t give everything up like this. Not like this. “ I went through years of pain knowing she died because of me and she’s not really dead? I want to hear the truth from her. I want to be with her again. Do you know how hard it was to handle your first love not being with you and it’s your fault? I at least deserve an explanation.”

Valentina understands where he’s coming from but she doesn’t like the fact that the fixation on you will become more and more until he can have you back. It’s hard seeing him like that, and it was hard seeing him isolate himself away from the world for 4 years. The screaming and crying he had did for you was something truly heartfelt. She realized after meeting him for the first time that his emotions run deep for you, and you were the one that kept him sane. 

Casper doesn’t agree with any of this. He wants you back out of Seoul as soon as possible and will do whatever it takes to have you escape again before you can't. Most importantly he needs to find you immediately and have you explain why the hell you came back. 

“ Fine. We’ll do it. After this though, even if you get your feelings hurt by her, do not seek for her again. Okay?” Casper locks eyes with the young man with a stern look. Jungkook knows that look, the look of this is now a business thing instead of normal.

He extends his hand out to Casper, putting on his best stern look as well to get the memo passed. Casper looks down at his hand hesitantly as if he were signing a life contract. The last thing he wants to do is out you in danger again. Yet he has to go behind yours and Jungkook’s back again. If that’s what it takes, then thats what it takes. The two boys shake hands and the deal is made. 

You are now a Bangtan assignment again. 

It’s not easy. It’s not easy sitting here at this bar alone and ordering shots for yourself. You'd rather have someone accompany you. The music plays loudly and with each shot of Soju you take your feel yourself begin to loosen up. That is until someone sits in the spot next to you. You don’t care for them, as you only care about drowning your sorrows and stress with alcohol tonight.  

“ A bottle of soju and two shot glasses please.” The voice says. You can’t seem to put it together but it sounds very familiar. You were sober enough to know it isn’t Jungkook, but the voice could be similar?

He smells expensive which catches your attention immediately. He’s built, looks as if he works out a lot and the semi-long hair thats enough to make a man-bun, gives him this extremely attractive look. The sides look like he’s had a mullet before, making them shaved a bit but mostly grown out. Both ears are pierced with each side having two piercings in them. He’s attractive for sure.

The bartender brings the glass over, sliding it to him and the glasses as well. They seem to know each-other well by the way they’re laughing and joking around. You decide to sit up correctly and adjust your white v-neck shirt to where your breasts are in semi-view and sitting correctly due to the push-up bra. 

“ Are you gonna keep staring pretty lady or do you want to take a shot with me.” The guy says, not even looking in your direction while his tattoo’d hand pours into the two shot glasses. 

You notice that it’s a fresh tattoo because of it’s redness and  the shiny saniderm wrapped on it.  Seems to be of a very in depth butterfly with dark shading to bring it all together. “ Uh... Sure?”

Your voice makes him stop pouring the drink, and freeze up as if he’s heard a ghost. You furrow your eyebrows at his sudden move. It’s not like you said anything wrong. He offered and you said yes. The man’s head slowly turns towards you with wide eyes. You’re confused as ever until you realize the voice matched the face and you know that face. You know exactly who the guy is, and he knows who you are. 

“ No fucking way.”

As if shit couldn’t get any more fucking worse. At this point there is no running away from it. It’s just time to face the fact and come out of hiding already. 

“ Sungmin.”

He’s still in disbelief, mouth open and not knowing what to say. You sigh, taking the shot glass from him and swinging your head back to allow the burning liquid go down your throat. It’s now or never. 

“ You-you’re supposed to be dead.” Sungmin says, still in utter shock you’re sitting right next to him right now. All the emotions run through his body like a hurricane. He doesn’t know whether to be happy, sad, or mad at you right now.

Which is understandable on your end. 

“ I’m not dead. I left Seoul quietly after that whole..” You really didn't want to finish that sentence. No matter how fucked up that was, you still don’t like to be reminded of that day and the rest after that.

Sungmin nods his head, “ So you decided to fake your fucking death? Instead of just telling us you left Seoul? Do you understand what we all went through after grieving you? My brother hasn’t even fucking heal-”

It’s not right for you to cut him off, but you can’t help the fact that he just said the word brother in his sentence. “ Brother?”

It clicks for him. He probably shouldn’t of opened his mouth that much but he’s more upset than anything at this moment. You had left before finding out everything. That's when he realizes you really don’t know anything about their family. 

“ I think.. we both need to take a shot for this.” Sungmin chuckles, pouring you another shot to take. You oblige and watch him take his first and then you take yours. The words brother seem to still can’t get out of your head though.

“ Jungkook is my biological brother.”

Which nearly makes you nearly spit to your drink mid swallow. Jungkook? His brother? There’s no way, the boys don’t even look similar to each other. Two completely different people. “ Jungkook... is not your brother. That’s not a funny joke.” Your voice is serious, wiping your mouth from the escaped liquid.

“ I didn’t believe It too, until my biological mother told me that. She’s also here in Seoul too. She lives with me and Jungkook in our big house.”

That clicks. Jungkook’s mom. His mother is someone who you remember distinctly because he had told you how she had left him when he was a kid. You’d seen the pictures of her in his apartment. Which means the day of the announcement of Minlee’s death at the cafe, really was her there. 

“ So.. you guys all live together and it’s not awkward?” Given Sungmin used to hate Jungkook with a passion it still didn’t make sense as to why he would agree to living with him. 

Sungmin shrugs, “ It was hella awkward at first. I hated him but if living together meant I could gain a closer bond with my biological mom I was all for it. Also I wanted to be apart of Nari’s life. I never got to be a big brother because Crystal and I are the same age with a few months difference.”

Big brother? Nari? “ So your mom had a different child when she came back?”

“ No, Jungkook’s father had a baby on the way before he was killed. I consider her as my little sister though because biologically she is Jungkook’s half sister and Jungkook is my half brother. “

The child. The child isn’t his but its just his little sister. That brings relief to you knowing that he didn’t cheat nor move on quickly after your fake death. Which is what brung you here today at this bar because you had rather drink that thought away more than anything. 

“ I get it now. I won’t ask anymore questions about it since I know it must have been a big change for you. I’m happy you were reunited with your birth mom.” Is your way of cutting that conversations short. You’d rather talk about this when you’re sober because by the end of the night you may not even remember this subject. 

“ But you, you’re alive. That’s a big shock to me and will be a big shock to my brother and-”

“ He knows. I’m sure he’s freaking out too. Can we just keep this interaction between us? I don’t really want the attention on me. I’m here for school and wish to just pretend I do not exist.”

Another lie. You can’t really tell the truth to Sungmin as much as you don’t want to keep yet another secret from him. It’s not safe right now to disclose any other information about you. 

“ I understand. I want to respect your boundaries but can I ask why you didn’t reach out to me all these years. I know I'm not the bad guy in this situation. It really hurt because I thought I lost a close friend. ” His words with his sad face made you feel even worse about everything. Did Sungmin deserve it? No.

But keeping in contact with him would have blown everything away for you back then. For once you did feel a bit normal when you were back in the states and jeopardizing that would have been a huge mistake. 

Without thinking, you reach over to wipe the stray tears that had fallen from his eyes. Sungmin crying? Something you didn’t think would happen. “ I just wanted to start over and get away from everyone.”

You don’t expect him to grab your hand and hold it in place. He does it to make sure you’re real and there talking to him right now. He’s missed you so much and theres something about when the way he locks eyes with you, you feel guilty to break the eye contact. Those eyes are filled with the sadness you caused. You don’t know if its just the alcohol getting to you but right now you want to just cry all over again and let it all out. Your face definitely shows it.

“ It’s okay. I know what he did and lied about was fucked up. I understand.” He says, examining your facial expression which expresses that you will break-down and cry any minute. 

A panicked Sungmin pulls you out of your seat and into his arms for a hug. You needed that. Someone to understand and not be upset. A hug to make you feel understood. Its right then where you start wailing into his chest. He rocks you back and forth whilst his tattooed hand pats your back. In the inside he wants to cry with you. It’s been so long since he's hugged you, seen you, had you in his presence. Nothing in the world could top this moment. 

“ I..” You sniffle, pulling away from his grip. Your visions a bit blurry but you are able to make out Sungmin’s flushed cheeks and teary eyed eyes. “ I should go home now. I enjoyed meeting you again Sungmin.”

“ I don’t want to lose you again yn.. can I have your social media at least?”

You contemplate for a second as you stand in-between his legs. Giving your private social media would be risky and Jungkook could easily go through Sungmin’s followers to find you on instagram. Although your username is nowhere near close to your name, it still matters.

Giving in, you decide to go with snapchat. It is discreet and he can easily be un-added if you feel things are becoming a threat.“ I recently re-downloaded snapchat.. if you have that.” 

Surprisingly he does. So you two exchange usernames and add each other. This is a new beginning. Sungmin looks trustworthy enough and surely he’d be too sad with himself if he ever fucks up right? 

“ I’ll take you home if that’s okay with you? Or I can drop you off somewhere where you feel safe enough if you don’t want to g-”

“ It’s okay. You can take me home but please Sungmin..” You look up at him, desperate enough to let him know to keep the secret. He nods his head understanding the memo.

On the way out the bar, you didn’t notice you being a bit tipsy. The floor kind of feels like jelly when you walk on it. Sungmin though, seems as sober as if he’d been drinking water the whole time. Clinging on to his arm, the two of you make your way outside. You stumble bit to the car but Sungmin thankfully catches you each time. Stopping at a shining dark blue 2021 Camaro, Sungmin turns to look at you once more. 

“ You sure I can take you home? I can always call a tax-”

You giggle cutting him off from his panicked sentence, “ I’m tired and tipsy. I feel safer with you than with a random taxi person.” 

That was a nice thing to hear coming from you. That you feel safe and trusted around him. It makes his cheeks flush again. You can’t help but to think that its cute of him whenever he does it. In fact, he looks rather handsome with the moon’s light shining down upon him. It brings out his features and more tattoos on his body. His sharp jawline illuminates within the light with a small smile upon his face with lips that look so full. He looks..sexy.

“ I do want to apologize again if any conversation earlier made you cry like that. I didn't mean to make you cr-”

You couldn’t let another apology sentence get out so you take It upon yourself to grab him by the shirt and kiss those lips that spew out apology after apology. Sungmin tenses up for a second, not knowing whether to kiss you back. Ultimately he decides to just go with the flow and your lips are like ecstasy to him. Four years, he's waited four years to kiss you like this. Tongues intertwining and your whimpering inside his mouth. He can’t let it get too far though. You’re emotions are heightened and everywhere right now.

Sungmin pulls away making you open your eyes. You yourself are just as shocked as he is. “ Was that.. is what we just did okay?” Sungmin says, breathing in and out to catch his breath. 

You don’t feel like it was wrong to do, “ Yeah. I’m single.. and I hope you’re single?” Sungmin doesn't think twice about nodding his head yes. “ Then what we did is alright.” You reassure him, watching him rub the back of his head. 

“ You wanna unlock the car door?” You chuckle, pointing at the car to bring him back to reality. He jumps a bit but unlocks the car with the click of his key.  The inside is nice and it smells of vanilla and oranges. It’s kept perfectly clean as if he’d just got it off the lot.

The car ride to your apartment is silent, except for the car systems built in GPS talking. but thats thanks to you and your sudden emotions of that kiss. You didn’t know what you were thinking but the kiss felt good, a little too good. It’s not like you have sudden feelings for him, that’s not the case at all. The point was you wanted him to shut up and stop apologizing when it wasn’t his fault to begin with. On the greedier side, he does look very handsome now that you’ve seen him after all these years. He's grown into a man and not the little teenage boy who was chasing you around for your attention. 

“ Yn? Did you hear me? We’re here.” 

You hadn’t even noticed that he parked in your apartment garage. Although the night isn’t young anymore, you felt the need to have someone with you for the night. Just incase you have another anxiety attack and if you start hysterically crying again. It wouldn’t hurt to ask him if he’d like to stay over the night. Besides, it could be fun to catch up a bit more on what he’s been doing for the past years anyways. 

“ Sungmin?”

He turns to look at you, waiting to answer your question. Your eyes focus themself back to your lap. The worst thing he could do is deny it. Even so, you two can still catch up some other day.

“ Can you.. can you stay the night with me?”

[robertreich]

Why Strongmen are Losing the Fight Against Covid

A hospital in Uttar Pradesh, India's most populous state, is being charged under the country’s National Security Act for sounding the alarm over a lack of oxygen that resulted in Covid deaths. The hospital’s owner and manager says the police have accused him of “false scare-mongering,” after he stated publicly that four of his patients died on a single day when oxygen ran out.

Since Covid-19 exploded in India, the prime minister, Narendra Modi, seems more intent on controlling the news than the outbreak. On Wednesday, India recorded nearly 363,000 Covid cases and 4,120 deaths, about 30 percent of worldwide Covid deaths that day. But experts say India is vastly understating the true number. Ashish Jha, dean of Brown University’s School of Public Health, estimates that at least 25,000 Indians are dying from Covid each day.

The horror has been worsened by shortages of oxygen and hospital beds. Yet Modi and his government don’t want the public to get the true story.

One big lesson from the Covid crisis: lying makes it worse. Vladimir Putin is busily denying the truth about Covid in Russia. Demographer Alexei Raksha, who worked at Russia’s official statistical agency, Rosstat, but says he was forced to leave last summer for telling the truth about Covid, claims that the daily data in Russia has been "smoothed, rounded, lowered" to look better. Like many experts, he uses excess mortality – the number of deaths during the pandemic over the typical number of deaths -- as the best indicator.

"If Russia stops at 500,000 excess deaths, that will be a good scenario," he calculates.

Russia was first out of the gate with a Covid vaccine but has fallen woefully behind on vaccinations. Recent polling puts the share of Russians who don’t want to be vaccinated at 60 to 70 percent. That’s because Putin and other officials have focused less on vaccinating the public than on claiming success in containing Covid.

The U.S. is suffering a similar problem -- the legacy of another strongman, Donald Trump. Although more than half of U.S. adults have received at least one dose of coronavirus vaccine, more than 40 percent of Republicans have consistently told pollsters they won’t get vaccinated. Their recalcitrance is threatening efforts to achieve “herd immunity” and prevent the virus’s spread.

Like Modi and Putin, Trump minimized the seriousness of the pandemic and spread misinformation about it. Trump officials ordered the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to downplay its severity. He declined to get vaccinated publicly and was noticeably absent from a public service announcement on vaccination that featured all other living former presidents.

Trump allies in the media have conducted a scare campaign about the vaccines. In December, Laura Ingraham posted a story on Facebook from the Daily Mail purporting to show evidence that Chinese communist party loyalists worked at pharmaceutical companies that developed the coronavirus vaccine.

As recently as mid-April, Fox News host Tucker Carlson opined that if the vaccine were truly effective, there’d be no reason for people who received it to wear masks or avoid physical contact.

"So maybe it doesn't work, and they're simply not telling you that.”

Why then should anyone be surprised at the reluctance of Trump Republicans to get vaccinated? A recent New York Times analysis showed vaccination rates to be lower in counties where a majority voted for Trump in 2020. States that voted more heavily for Trump are also states where lower percentages of the population have been vaccinated.

The Republican pollster Frank Luntz claims  Trump bears responsibility for the hesitancy of GOP voters to be vaccinated.

“He wants to get the credit for developing the vaccine. Then he also gets the blame for so few of his voters taking it.”

Trump’s Republican Party is coming to resemble authoritarian regimes around the world in other respects as well – purging truthtellers and trucking in lies, misinformation, and propaganda harmful to the public.

Last week the GOP stripped Representative Liz Cheney of her leadership position for telling the truth about the 2020 election. At last week’s congressional hearing about the January 6 attack on the Capitol, one Republican congressman, Andrew Clyde, even denied it happened.

“There was no insurrection,” he said. “To call it an insurrection is a bold-faced lie … you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.”

Biden says he plans to call a summit of democratic governments to contain the rise of authoritarianism around the world. I hope he talks about its rise in the United States, too -- and the huge toll it’s already taken on Americans.

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~`Just to see you smile, I’d do anything. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung x Oc

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Do you ever truly know what someone is feeling?

You could spend decades , breathing the same air, hands held , your fingers brushing ....connected physically and even mentally but a person’s emotions, they’re hidden away. 

You only ever know what they’re willing to show .

And yet, 

all of us build relationships, convinced that we know exactly what the other person will feel when we act a certain way. Buying her flowers will make happy....visiting him at work will take away that little bit of stress.

But sometimes, what we think someone feels, may not be what they truly feel.

And that’s when your actions, well intended actions..... end up with disastrous consequences. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So....last night...” Jungkook’s teasing voice did nothing to ease the pounding in my head.

“I do believe you promised not to tease me about it if I drank two glasses of water, which I did by the way.” I told him firmly, trying to bring the words on my planner into focus as i squinted. Three meeting. Each two hours long. 

kill me now. 

“I wanted to ask HR to give you the day off but you have quite a schedule today. “ He said casually,  leaning over me to peer into the planner . I glanced at his wrist resting on the table, the expensive rolex showing that it was a little past 9. 

“ We’re planning out the Christmas campaign first and I have a meeting with Taehyung’s team in the afternoon so we can go over the contract see if they have any requirements and then the social media team in the evening at four to discuss promos and revamping the website.” I glanced up at him. 

He gave me a smile before casually leaning down, lightly gripping my chin and tilting my face up. I felt the brush of his lips against mine, fleeting and gentle. 

‘You’re beautiful.” He smiled. 

I blinked.

And then took a deep breath.

“Your wife...” I said softly. “ I saw her today.” 

Jungkook went completely still at that. 

“She was waiting in the lobby on my way up. I didn’t know who you were married to and I was a little shocked and also little upset because....” I glanced at him. “ She was my best friend in college. “

Jungkook swore. 

“Fuck.. I told her to stay the fuck away from my company. Did she say something to you?” 

i shook my head.

“I didn’t greet her because I wasn’t sure if she remembered me. And I wasn’t sure if i was remembering her right. i didn’t know she was your wife till i heard someone mention it in the elevator on my way up. Did you know that she and i knew each other?” 

Jungkook looked just a little guilty.

“When you first joined the company, she saw your resume on my cvomputer. told me a lot about you. She remembers you. Fondly. She wanted to come meet you but...things happened.  “ He shrugged.

Things like infidelity and divorces . 

“Ahh...” I smiled. “ Tell me i wasn’t another way to get back at your ex wife, Jeon Jungkook ssi...” 

He made a noise of protest.

“no... No of course not Christ...it’s just...I’ll admit she made me curious about you. She spoke of you being spontaneous and fun and wild and I’d seen you as this demure, elegant woman in the office. i was curious. I wanted to know which one was the real you. “

“Were you curious before she cheated....or after?”

“ Jang Mi...this isn’t what it looks like .. I’m done with her. She fucked my best buddy and ruined my fucking life...” He sounded pained. 

I frowned. 

“It’s hard to believe she would do something like that. The Aera i remember had a very strong moral compass.” 

“Yeah well, apparently, you can live whole entire lives with someone and never really know the person. Listen, do we really have to talk about my ex wife?” He asked, eyes shining with discomfort. 

I shrugged.

“I’m not fond of drama. I won’t tangle myself in a relationship that risks hurting a lot of people Jungkook. That’s just not the kind of person I am. I’m sorry.” 

He made a noise of impatience, shaking his head. 

“We won’t be hurting anyone... We have fun together. We like each other. We’re attracted to each other...that’s all that matters....” He said sharply.

“ If we were in our twenties , without kids ....maybe. But that's not how it is now. I have a son, you have a daughter and I think I’m not completely over my marriage yet.” I said softly. 

He froze.

“And i don’t think you’re completely over your wife either.” I smiled.

He glared at me. 

“Ex-wife.” He snarled.

“She makes you feel things, Jungkook. You need to sort that out before you start something new with someone else. I’m only saying this because we’re old enough not to 

He growled and punched the desk. 

“God, how can she keep ruining my life even when she’s out of it.” He muttered, stepping away from me and moving to the door. 

I watched him storm out of my office and bit my lip. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time evening rolled around, I was exhausted. But the day had been productive and I was happy because the contract had been finalized, the theme had been decided and we’d also spent an amazing three hours redesigning the website. Although it wasn’t in my job description I had studied web design in college and the creative department always welcomed my inputs. 

“You’re in a good mood...” Taehyung’s voice was a complete surprise and I turned to him, shocked. He was dressed in a black t shirt and blue jeans and sneakers and looked a whole decade younger. 

I felt affection rise up my throat so fast I nearly choked. 

“What are you doing here?”

“My agent told me you guys were incredibly cooperative today. She also told me you were quite possibly the loveliest woman she’s ever met and that I’m an idiot to have let you go.” He smiled. 

I laughed, shaking my head and my gaze shifted to the small bunch of tiger lilies in his hand. 

I felt warmth bloom in my chest. 

“You remembered.” I said softly, pleased. 

“Thirteen years since our first date.  The lily to my tiger. ” He held the flowers to me and I grinned, pressing the flowers to my chest. 

“Man I feel old.” I muttered.

“You are old.” Tae grinned and i grimaced, before tossing him a glare. . 

“You’re supposed to say I still look as beautiful as i did thirteen years ago.” I said. 

“But you don.t” He grinned impishly. “ You look a billion times  more  beautiful.” 

I felt the atmosphere shift, the air charged with something dangerous and i looked away. Usually, this was when I would laugh and throw my arms around him. Pull him close and press my lips against his , slip my fingers into his t shirt and trace the skin of his back. Feel his hands on my waist as he lifted me up to twirl me around and kiss me just like that. 

How often had we kissed that way? Thirteen years is a long time to count the number of kisses we’d shared. 

We both stayed quiet, looking anywhere but at each other.

“I...there’s a reason I came.” He said finally.

I glanced at him.

“Oh?”

“The lawyer. Ms. Lee she ... recommended a relationship counselor”

I blinked, my breath catching in my throat. 

“Taehyung we’re-”

“Just hear me out. Its not mandatory and it won’t affect the divorce in anyway. its just something the court offers all couples going through a divorce and we’re free to refuse it. “

“Did you?” I asked. 

“Did I what?”

“Refuse it. Did you tell her no?” 

He stared at me. 

“No.” He said finally.

I exhaled sharply.

“Wow.” I whispered, feeling jittery and unbalanced. He sighed and came closer, reaching out to lightly grip my wrists. I let him tug me closer into a hug and held him tight, my heart pounding with anxiety.

“Mia.... I just... I’m not saying we should try to fix this.... relationship.” He said softly, eyes gentle and pleading, “  I just think this whole thing has taken a toll on both of us and maybe we can heal better if we get the help of a professional. Come out of this with closure. Instead of battling guilt and regrets everyday. Just ....it could help us move on. Don’t you think?”

You could never really tell what the other person is feeling. 

I couldn’t tell what Taehyung was feeling right now? 

Hope ?

Hope that we would fix our marriage....

or maybe hope that he would finally move on from me.. Maybe this whole thing was his final attempt to end things with me for good. So he could walk out of my life forever without any lingering guilt or regret. 

I would never know. 

I clung to him harder and somehow the pain of the entire two years we’d been apart, rammed into me at once. 

I choked on a sob. Breathing became difficult and I felt myself gasping for air. 

“Mia?” Taehyung’s panicked voice was the last sane thought that registered. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can stay the night if you want. I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom . ” Taehyung whispered,  seated on the warm fluffy blanket that he’d managed to dig out of the closet in the spare bedroom. i was already tucked into the bed, fingers clutching the satin lined edges . 

i shook my head.

“I know how much you need your gazillion pillows. Go on... I’ll be fine.”

“i feel terrible. i pushed you into a panic attack.”

I waved off the guilty words. 

“You didn’t . i was already a little frayed and i guess i haven’t really been processing all the stuff between us the way i should have. i just got a little overwhelmed.” 

A panic attack. At the age of 32. The last time i had one I was twenty four. I wanted to crawl into the bed and never resurface. 

Taehyung’s gentle fingers , stroking my cheek brought me out of my own head. 

“I was so scared.” He said softly and my heart ached.

“I’m sorry i scared you.” I said apologetically, gripping his wrists lightly and stroking the skin there with my thumb. 

“I really want to stay. i don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if I go home right now.” He whispered. 

I bit my lips. 

“Okay... but... You need to hug something. To sleep. “ 

He grinned at that. 

“I’m old enough to survive one night without a pillow, Mia .” he chuckled. 

I flushed, sinking deeper into the covers.

“Okay.” 

“You don’t have to worry about the counselor thing. I’ll tell Lee we don’t want to do any-”

“No!!” I said quickly, a lot  louder than I’d intended. 

Taehyung blinked.

“I just... I realized that I haven’t been dealing with any of this...the right way. I’m so confused and disoriented all the time and I .. I don’t mind getting some help. To sort things out. Just for myself you know...without the pressure of trying to fix...well us.” I finished .

Taehyung gave me a wide smile before bending down and kissing my forehead.

“ Okay, Mia mine. Sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

[helenceciliaa]

Healthcare employee resilience

In the dynamic landscape of healthcare employee resilience, where professionals are often on the front lines, resilience becomes a cornerstone for navigating the myriad challenges they face. Healthcare employees play a pivotal role in providing quality patient care, but the demanding nature of their work can take a toll on their mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This article explores the significance of resilience in healthcare employees, emphasizing its role as a vital coping mechanism in the face of adversity.

Understanding Resilience in Healthcare:

Resilience can be defined as the ability to adapt and bounce back in the face of adversity. In the healthcare sector, resilience goes beyond personal strength; it's a professional imperative. Healthcare professionals routinely encounter high-pressure situations, long working hours, and emotionally charged environments. Developing resilience is crucial for maintaining well-being, preventing burnout, and ultimately delivering better patient care.

Factors Influencing Healthcare Employee Resilience:

Supportive Work Environment: A positive and supportive workplace culture is foundational to fostering resilience. When healthcare employees feel valued, heard, and supported by their colleagues and superiors, they are better equipped to navigate challenges with a sense of collective strength.

Training and Education: Continuous learning and professional development empower healthcare workers to adapt to evolving situations. Training programs that address stress management, emotional intelligence, and coping strategies contribute to building a resilient workforce.

Mental Health Resources: Access to mental health resources and support services is essential. Providing counseling services, mental health days, and stress management programs demonstrates an organizational commitment to employee well-being.

Team Collaboration: Collaboration and effective communication among healthcare teams can mitigate the impact of stressors. When team members support each other, share experiences, and work cohesively, it enhances overall resilience.

Self-Care Practices: Encouraging self-care practices is vital for healthcare employees. This includes promoting regular breaks, adequate rest, and activities that promote relaxation and rejuvenation outside of work hours.

Challenges to Healthcare Employee Resilience:

Workload and Burnout: Excessive workloads and burnout can erode resilience. Healthcare organizations must address workload issues, implement reasonable scheduling practices, and encourage employees to take breaks to prevent burnout.

Emotional Toll: Healthcare professionals often deal with emotionally charged situations, such as patient suffering or loss. Providing emotional support, debriefing sessions, and outlets for expressing emotions are crucial for maintaining resilience.

Pandemic-Related Stress: The global COVID-19 pandemic has brought unprecedented challenges to healthcare workers. Special attention should be given to pandemic-related stressors, with additional resources and support provided as needed.

Conclusion:

In the healthcare sector, resilience is not just a personal attribute but a collective endeavor. Organizations must actively cultivate a culture that supports the well-being of their employees. By addressing the challenges faced by healthcare workers and implementing strategies to enhance resilience, healthcare organizations can ensure a workforce that is not only capable of facing adversity but also thriving in the noble mission of providing quality care to patients. The resilience of healthcare employees is a pillar of strength, and its cultivation should be prioritized for the betterment of both individuals and the healthcare system as a whole.