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pbandjesse · 9 months ago

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I am not feeling great today. Both physically and emotionally. I probably should have taken today off. But I did not. I pushed myself to hard and I honestly feel really bad right now. But I am trying to remain positive.

I slept okay last night. When we got home I got a shower and tried to be in a better place mentally but I was just feeling really down. I wanted to be with my family more. I wanted to feel more settled. I wanted another day off. I was very upset and James was trying to help but I was just kind of falling apart.

Sleep didn't help as much as I hoped. My dreams didn't really bring me any comfort.

I got out of bed and was coughing and uncomfortable. But I wanted to go to work. I did not want to go to work but I also did and was just having a lot of mixed and weird emotions.

James had packed me a lunch but I wasn't excited about eating at all. The bagel they made me was good. I ate it on the drive in to get and perk myself up. And it wasn't a bad drive. It wasn't even a bad day. I just did not feel great.

When I got to camp I got right into working on the drawing for the iron workers who are going to make the long house super structure. This was actually kind of hard. It was a bit like drawing a lobster cage. But I think I got the message across. And if they need more instructions or directions I can do my best.

I would do some more work on the schedule and specifically the cabin choice programs. Me and Heather had a conversation trying to work out more what the vision is. And I think we have a better handle on it now. The work continues but I think it's going to be really good in the end.

I would take a lot of breaks. I was coughing s lot and just feeling out of sorts. I considered leaving early but in the end I toughed it out.

I had my lunch over a two hour block while still typing away and watching TikToks. I would also do some sewing if the little felt bears I found in my sewing bag. It was nice.

I was frustrated that I thought my two packages were going to be at camp when I got there but they weren't and I was bummed. But we had some slips for packages so I was sent on a errand to get them from the post office. Where I had the most bizarre conversation.

The woman, when I handed her my four package slips, said "oo someone loves you" and I was like well someone loves camp. And she's like oh are you guys out there? And I'm like yeah we're actually open all year. And she goes oh I know that. And I was like oh okay. Like I thought she just was surprised about us being there. Then she goes I'm just surprised we have packages. And I'm like oh yeah we were surprised too because the note online said our business was closed. And she was like oh well we never drop off packages to you guys, we have had a deal since 2003. And I'm like. Oh? And then she alluded to it being weird I was coming to get packages. I left this conversation absolutely baffled. It was like talking to a wizard.

I walked to the 711 and got a donut and candy for later. And went back to camp. I would wait until I got home to open my packages. But the two others were camp things. One for Joe. And the other the contact paper we ordered to cover the branding on the signs.

I was very proud how close the color was. It almost looks intentional now. Me and Sarah would walk over to the woodlands village and it took a bit of time to measure out the pieces but we got them all cut and installed and it looks great. I was worried it would look like we photoshopped it so I had Sarah take a picture of me installing it to to send to the Smithsonian people. And pretty quickly after Heather sent the photos off they responded and thanked us for cooperating and we thanked them for letting us still have the signs. All is right in the world.

I would go home soon after that. I was tired. It was starting to rain. I was only leaving a little early. I talked to Heather about some of the stuff I could handle tomorrow. And then I was off.

I would get home around 430. And I was really excited to see that all of our stuff is finally in the house!! James had texted me through the whole thing this morning. The moving guys were apparently great and the one even asked for Tina's contact info because he liked the apartment so much. I thought that was so sweet.

I had thought maybe I would lay down for an hour when I got home but James was almost done making dinner so instead I got in the couch and opened my packages. The one was my birthday gifts for myself. A baby baggu, a baggu minu crescent bag with embroidered hearts, a t shirt that says "my favorite T-shirt" in flocked lettering. It also came with some free gifts. A note book and pens. A stress ball shaped like a half an orange. A charger cord. Some trinket dishes I'll probably regift. It was fun.

The other package was the wall sconces I ordered. We will probably try to figure those out soon. But I was not in a place mentally to figure those out.

James would go up to their room to record their podcast and I would spent the next two hours moving the shelves around in the living room to work best. They are not in the originally planned lay out but this ended up working out way better. There is still a lot to put away but I made so much progress. I even started hanging my looms on the wall. I'm really excited for the progress. I hope to start hanging more and putting more things away over the next few days.

I enjoyed my podcast while I was doing all of this. I worked on organizing our new pantry bookshelf in the kitchen. And moving things around. But I was getting frustrated because James said we would go get groceries together after they recorded and I felt like they record for to long. Like I know they are having fun and having hobbies but also. Hang out with me.

They would finish around 730. And they would help me hang a shelf before we put our shoes on and headed out into the world.

First stop target. My tension rod for the pantry bookshelf was lost during the move today. So James got me a new one. And I wanted binder clips for a storage idea I had. I also insisted on getting a $1 yellow chick but James said I could only have it if I carried it in the air the whole walk around the store and by God I did it. Silly time.

Then we want to Harris teeter next door. I started very very much not feeling well in that store. On the drive to the shopping center my ears had closed up and all of a sudden in the seafood section of the store they opened up and everything was so loud and I felt very sick.

But I held it together. We got the things in our lists. And went to check out.

The line was confusing though and three people jumped us and we were in line for a seemingly long time. But it didn't help that I didn't feel good. I helped James scan by passing them things from the cart. It didn't take long once we were at a register. I was just happy to get out of there.

We got home and brought everything inside. I went and fo up and a table cloth and set up my sewing machine on the ground to fashion a curtain for the pantry. And while it's a little short I think it looks darling. And after James got all the grocery says they took the trash out and moved all of our Lego flowers to the top of the kitchen cabinets and it looks so sweet. I really love how things are coming together.

Now we are laying on the couch. Sweetp is here. Things are good. I took the inhaler. Which has been an almost daily occurrence. And it helped a lot. But I am still very tired. I want to wash my hair though and get in bed. And I really hope tomorrow will be better.

Sleep well my friends. Be safe. I love you.

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writenaw · 3 years ago

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first week of feb dump!!

first photo is a thing i need to explain. even @huybr don't know about this hehe he just knows i'm talking to 'someone'.

FEB O5:

- she was from a sleepover near our village the night before in her bff's house. we initially planned to meet bc she's lending me an osamu dazai book, no other plans, just that. but, i didn't want our first meet to be just that so i asked her out to grab coffee or something. we went to sm sucat and spent the afternoon chitchatting. i had hella fun, although i was bombarded by messages from friends when they saw my ig story HAHAHA i am being more private these days, i haven't told anything to anyone. we've been talking since december, btw. it was my first day out this year and 'twas with her. ♡

FEB 06:

- i became hella busy all day. 8:30am mass service (missed kuya bry so much), had lunch with some church servers, taught our new ministry members how to operate our live streams, had a meeting with the liturgy head, got home around 6pm. life as a ministry head's so hectic but i'm glad my members are cooperative and nice.

FEB 08:

- had a last minute date with my sister, after 3 months of not seeing her. actually, our plan was to only stay in her apartment but we both got bored. hence, we went to a good coffee shop just a few minutes walk away from where she lives. we stayed there for a quite a time while i was kinda busy running some virtual errands. then, she told me she needs to go to sm sucat to inquire and i tagged along. she went shopping for new clothes while i decided (for 4 hours) to buy a pair of white dad shoes. i badly needed those, it took me 3 months of weighing the need to buy it. finally, i gave in. honestly, i need to learn to stop depriving and to stop being too harsh to myself. I HAD FUN, i missed hanging out with my sister.

ON NORMAL DAYS, i wake up at 4:30am to serve and i stay at our church longer when needed. today, i stayed up to 5pm. it wasn't really necessary to stay that long but i took the opportunity to study photoshop and illustrator more as i recently made a decision to shift into multimedia arts. usually, i stay there until after we finish eating breakfast with father, but some days i stay longer due to designing tasks. i am one of the graphic artists in our church, while i head the multimedia ministry.

that was my life on the first week of feb, see you next dump!!

#personal #♡#sentimental

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