nothingwitty

[nothingwitty]

We're living through the end-game of monopoly. One person owns Boardwalk/Park Place, everyone is crying, and the only thing left to do is pack up the board. Except we can't pack up the board.

[nothingwitty]

If I was the president every folder on my desktop would be called something like "Area 51 Photos (Do NOT leak)" or "Hunter Biden Laptop Contents"

[nothingwitty]

What I thought my new haircut would look like --

what it ACTUALLY looks like

[nothingwitty]

I wish Billy Mays was president. He'd have this country turned around and doubled the offer, just pay shipping and handling.

[nothingwitty]

Have you seen shatner in ANYTHING else? He was definitely just in love with nimoy.

Is shatner an immensely good actor, or was he just in love with Leonard Nimoy? In this essay I will-

[nothingwitty]

I need an overpriced yogurt in the heat of the night

where the FUCK did all the froyo places go...

[nothingwitty]

Putting this thought here to archive it so I dont forget it later.

I am an artist, and I was struck today by how little art we consume. Compared to the 20th century, where we couldn't get enough. Today hardly anyone I know buys or participates in art.

So the question is, why is there less demand for art now than there was? We havent changed as a species, we still love good art and stories.

And here is my answer - because, in order to appreciate art, you have to engage with it. And right now, we live in a very passive environment. What some have called the attention economy.

[nothingwitty]

I still think it would be so funny if Neopets released a paintbrush called "normal" and every pet is just a png of a real life animal.

You have obvious comparisons like Bori = Armadillo. Usul = Squirrel, and I photoshopped a real life bow on it to help retain some of its neopet-ness.

The hard ones. Acara. Aisha. Blumaroo. I dont have answers for those yet. If anyone wants to help out please do.

(also here's a link to a reddit post where they discuss neopets animal equivalents. https://www.reddit.com/r/neopets/comments/z3a3ql/what_animals_are_the_neopets_based_off/)

[nothingwitty]

Modern day cave painting

One of my co-workers has a standing desk that he uses sitting down. It looks like this

[nothingwitty]

I actually … didn’t know that vampires were supposed to literally be the rich draining the life blood out of the poor but it makes so much sense.

I know vampirism is often used as a metaphor for the drain of the aristocracy but I think it would be fun to have more vampire characters who were just some guy before they got turned. You seek out the most ancient vampire in existence and find out he was a 40 year old wheat farmer in ancient Mesopotamia when he was turned 7,000 years ago and he hasn’t been doing much since then.

[nothingwitty]

Tiktok is destroying Media Literacy

I am constantly amazed at how much tiktoks are destroying the art of film. This isn't meant to be whiny, but like... I spent 4 years in film school studying the craft. We've had 100 years of experimenting to find effective story telling methods. From the earliest days of silent Russian cinema to the minimalist French Dogme and everything inbetween. Every film has been made with one goal in mind - how do I convey this compelling story in a visual way?

And tiktok is just - destroying it. Literally setting us back because these influencers can't be bothered* to learn how to edit.

(*note - I am aware that in order to be competitive on the internet you have to churn out so much material in such a fast paced inhuman speed that not all of the artistic integrity can be blamed on laziness)

But anyway, here are some things I've noticed --

not using subtitles or cuts to show passage of time, but rather the actor just flatly says "5 minutes go by" or "they give me a death glare."

Baby, it's called SHOW, DONT TELL. It takes all of 5 seconds to make a cue card or get an insert shot. Everyone makes fun of the student film that starts with an alarm clock beeping but ya know what's worse? Hearing your depressed voice say "She hands me her credit card"

2. The censorship of language to avoid the algorithm

Hear me out on this one -- I know that censorship is no joke. Guess what? In old Hollywood they had something called the Hayes Code, which was basically a bunch of Catholics running the ethics committee and saying that you couldn't show or say anything immoral on screen.

AND YET. Clever directors and writers found ways around it. These films OOZE with sexuality, depression, suicide, LGBT, racial relations, etc. And they didn't have to say "He un-alived himself".

And these directors WERE RADICAL. Look at any of Billy Wilder's films. Otto Preminger. They weren't shying away from big topics - they spoke about suicide, gay relationships, corruption of power, the news aiding and abetting politicians.

My point is that I see that these tiktokers are creative people. They're smart. I wish they would use their talent for more substantial means. In two years no one is going to remember a 2 minute tiktok about a customer service rep.

But they might remember a powerful film. A novel. A song. A stand up comedy routine.

[nothingwitty]

I’m sorry the costanza question is so funny because i think most people would win in a fight against costanza. The only person george could beat up is caillou.

The George Constanza line asks the most important question of anyone fictional or otherwise: can they win in a fight with George Costanza? The answers may shock you.

[nothingwitty]

You don't understand how badly I need Matt Berry from What we do in the Shadows to play Waylon Jennings. They look IDENTICAL.

[nothingwitty]

[nothingwitty]

Hey, remember this terrible comic I drew like a million years ago? I finally got a new tablet so I re-drew it. Still not perfect but it is better.

I love putting Star Trek characters in crazy crossovers with other media characters.

[nothingwitty]

i never want to read the words "live action remake" ever AGAIN!!!!

[nothingwitty]

Have you ever seen the movie Night of the Lepus (1972)? Bones stars as one of the main characters - basically its a sci-fi movie about rabbits that grow giant and terrorize a town. I feel like you could do a very funny crossover there

Thank you so, so much for this recommendation. I had a ton of fun watching it and you can expect some more comics based on it soon :)