#photos from back then were black-and-white can you believe it.. you have to actually look at drawings and paintings to find color

[restinpeacesensei]

traditional style 💖

[idolindrawer]

Snap

IVE Yujin x Male Reader Smut 3.4k words

I'm not a native English speaker, so some expressions might sound odd. I'm always open to suggestions for improvement.

"Whatever you wish for will come true if you wish for it correctly,” the fortune teller says.

"That's not what I came here for," you say, stubbing out your cigarette in the ashtray with a huff of annoyance. "Don't you have any better advice?"

"This is the best advice I can give you," the fortune teller replies, completely unfazed. "The key is to do it correctly. Wishes need a trigger."

Growing increasingly irritated, you begin snapping your fingers repeatedly to vent your frustration. You came seeking guidance on how to improve your life, but this is a huge disappointment. 

The fortune teller seems oblivious to your anger and says cheerfully, "There you go, use that as your trigger. Whenever you make a wish, snap your fingers."

"This is like throwing 50,000 won down the drain," you sigh in exasperation, grabbing your bag and jacket, ready to leave the fortune teller's tent.

"Well, feel free to go,” the fortune teller says, looking surprised as if he had never met a customer who didn't believe in his words. "But it'll be worth 50,000 won if you give it a try."

Because of that fortune teller, the lunch break was wasted. You hurry along the path to your office, but as usual, you get held up by the traffic lights just 200 meters before. Being late is unavoidable.

While waiting, a bank advertisement on a nearby building catches your eyes. A celebrity girl dressed in the bank's signature green gives you a broad smile. You've seen her in other ads before. Isn't her name An Yujin or something? She must be a member of some idol group. You vaguely recall your niece being a huge fan.

Even when you look back at the red light of the traffic signal, you can’t get her out of your mind. How much did she earn from that bank ad, anyway? She’s probably around twenty, but her bank account must hold far more than my lifetime earnings... Damn it.

Seriously, if I were giving that huge amount of money to a young girl like her, I’d demand a much more provocative ad. I’d have her wear a skirt so short that her underwear can be seen in front of the press and have her shamelessly flaunt her ass to the cameras. Now that would be sure-fire marketing! You snap your fingers idly, indulging in this wicked fantasy of degrading celebrities to satisfy your ego.

Suddenly, someone's shoulder bumps into you from behind, jolting you back to reality. The light is green.

Just before leaving work, you scroll through social media and are stunned. It turns out that the girl from the ad you had seen at your lunch break was involved in a promotional event just a few hundred meters away. Moreover, she was wearing a skirt so short that it was almost revealing her underwear. The innocent young girl from the ad photo, now in a video from just two hours earlier, was dressed as if the whole of Korea had run out of fabric, shamelessly revealing her toned thighs to the gathered crowd. With a playful twirl, she revealed a glimpse of her white underwear covering her buttocks.

You happen to recall the words of that fortune teller: "Whenever you make a wish, snap your fingers." Did I actually snap my fingers? If so, then that fortune teller must have been a true psychic. If, as he said, wishes can really come true, is there anyone who wouldn't wish for something bigger?

Mesmerized by Yujin's legs on the screen, you swallow hard and imagine her sensual image. Tight-dressed Yujin is kissing in the dimly lit hotel room. As her dress is unzipped, black lace lingerie is revealed. Her buttocks are just covered with a bare minimum G-string, which she teasingly lets fall to her ankles, spreading her legs to accept the cock...

You snap your fingers once, forcefully. If this is going to work, the closer to her, the better chances might be. The event should have ended about an hour and a half ago, but is she still there? Hastily gathering your belongings, you clock out and run out of the office building towards the event venue.

The streets around the venue are teeming with people who have gathered information from social media, yet Yujin is nowhere to be seen. Disappointed to find that the event has ended, most people slowly drift into nearby cafes. Some remain standing, visibly dissatisfied, and frantically searching social media for any trace of her.

You open social media, but find it worthless due to the numerous accounts already capitalizing on her popularity and leveraging it to gain attention. “We're selling rare photo cards!” “Try this dating app for guaranteed meet-ups.” #IVE #YUJIN “Click here for an AI-generated celebrity sex tape...” In the sample video, a porn star with Yujin's face, digitally altered and occasionally glitching, kisses a naked man in a hotel room. His hand reaches for the zipper at her back, unzipping it to reveal her skin, which is trimmed with black lace lingerie...

Wait, can this really be the wish come true? The video is eerily close to what I imagined, but if this is it, then it’s a joke taken too far. The fortune teller must have been a fraud after all. Feeling everything is suddenly absurd, you shove your phone into your pocket and start walking toward the station.

Near the venue, the same posters of Yujin that you saw during the day are displayed, her trusting smile reaching out to you. The fortune teller's words echo in your mind: "The key is to do it correctly." What if the fortune teller was a genuine psychic, and the way to wish was wrong? The first wish came true, after all, and her sex was pulled off even in a rubbish way. It might be too early to conclude that he is a fake psychic.

There could be several reasons for the failure, but simply imagining her sex scene wasn't enough. That is, it requires imagining myself having sex with her. As vividly as possible, the feel of her body, myself slipping in between her legs...

You imagine carefully, snapping your fingers. Fate should take care of the rest. If this doesn't work, tomorrow I'll storm back to that fortune teller and demand my money back.

Before catching the train at the station, you detour slightly to use the public restroom. Using this station over 250 days a year, you know exactly where to find the always empty and relatively clean toilets.

You finish your business, wash your hands carelessly, and as you lift your head to see a tall girl staring at you from the mirror. Her white skirt is so short that her underwear is almost visible.

"An Yujin...ssi?"

It's definitely her. She's wearing the same outfit she had on at the daytime event, her arms crossed, looking slightly displeased at you.

"Why are you here?" you ask timidly. 

"Isn't this what you wanted?" With that, Yujin strides towards you, her hand reaching for the belt of your pants without hesitation. "Let's get this over with." 

Intimidated by the girl's boldness, you calmly scan the surroundings to ensure it’s safe, then guide her by the arm into the cleanest stall you can find.

"Are you the real An Yujin?" You whisper, keeping your voice low to avoid being heard. 

"There's another me?" She glances at you exasperatedly, then returns to dealing with your pants. With the same detachment as unlocking a door, she unbuckles your belt, lowers the zipper, and pulls off your pants. Her movements are awkward, but she's completely focused on her task, as if you weren’t even there, and that annoys you a little.

Despite her businesslike demeanor, every time her slender fingers brush against your lower body, your cock stiffens with the intimacy of contact you haven't felt in a long time and the anticipation of what's to come.

“But I haven't done anything yet?” Her fingers caress through your underwear, confirming your arousal. Looking satisfied with the heat of your groin, she smiles.

“May I take these off?” Before you can even nod, she’s already crouching down, pulling the waistband of your boxer briefs down to your ankles, revealing you completely.

Yujin remains crouched, staring at your exposed cock with interest. As you glance down, you notice her tight white mini shorts peeking out from under her skirt. Your cock responds to it, twitching with excitement before her eyes.

“You like being watched, huh?” Yujin says with a knowing smile. As she wraps her hand around your cock, giving it a few strokes, she stands up. You, expecting oral sex or something more, are disappointed and surprised. 

“Hey, is that all?”

"I'll do what you wished," she says with a mischievous grin. Then, balancing on her tiptoes and spreading her legs slightly, she holds your cock between the middle of her thighs carefully. "Feel free to move.”

You realize you've messed up again. When you snapped your fingers, you may have been too focused on her legs, and the wish was misinterpreted as thighfuck with her.

“Uh, wait a moment, let me snap my fingers again. This time, I’ll do it right,” you babble in a flustered tone, causing Yujin to look at you with curiosity. “Snap your fingers? What do you mean? Are you already satisfied?”

No way. The wish may have been downgraded, but it's the worst outcome to lose the favorable situation that's already come true. You pull yourself together and direct your full attention on the sensations of her two legs.

Her thighs are curvaceous compared to her slender waist, wrapping around your shaft and transferring her warmth from all directions. As you hold onto her thighs and move your body slowly back and forth, you can feel her bare, soft skin follow together, and the firm muscle layer beneath grips your cock tightly and never releases it.

"Your legs are incredibly gorgeous," you mutter, and for the first time, Yujin looks genuinely embarrassed. It's unclear why this celebrity girl was sent here, but it’s clear that she’s here to provide sexual services to this stranger, so why not make the most of it?

You put your hands on her hips and accelerate the reciprocating motions. As you press your lower body against her legs, the silky surface of her thighs ripples in response. Yujin grips your shoulders to stay balanced, trying to keep steady despite the constant kinetic energy. Your chin rests on her shoulder, and her hair brushes against your face. The sweet scent of her conditioner unexpectedly captivates you.

As sweat beads on your forehead, you wonder why, even though the wish was downgraded, things are still happening that you didn’t expect. Perhaps there’s no rule saying that once a wish is granted in a silly way, nothing else can occur. It might be up to the one who wished to make use of the situation.

To get the most out of the circumstances, you begin to secretly explore the boundary. Slide your hands back on her hips slightly, then cover her ass. There is no indication of her resistance. You knead on Yujin’s tight buttocks and move as if you were thrusting her. It seemed you heard a faint noise leak out of her mouth, but she didn’t stop you.

Then you bring your hands a little bit towards her waist, slipping them under the hem of Yujin’s blouse. Carefully touching her bra in her clothes, your eyes meet hers.

"Can I touch them?"

“Get it done quickly, okay?” Yujin says, looking away. You take that as approval and rub her breasts roughly. She's wearing something like a bandeau bra with no wires underneath her clothing, and you can feel the softness of her breasts even though they’re covered with the bra. But seized by an inevitable urge to see the hardness at the center, you forcefully pull the bra down.

Yujin's breasts are perfectly proportioned, and their distinct curvature and firmness bring a sense of satisfaction. When you touch their smoothness, you’re amazed to see your fingers sinking more than you expected. At the center, a reddish-brown areola the size of a coin surrounds a taut, protruding nipple. You pinch them lightly, then electricity runs through her body. She bashfully covers her mouth with the back of her hand, trying to hide her rough breath.

When you get carried away and go to kiss her, she pulls you away. With her flushed face, she said, “Focus on finishing this” while suffering the pleasure of her upper body.

As you explore Yujin’s youthful body freely, your cock is growing more sensitive and nearing release under the pressure of her thighs. However, your overwhelming passion for the ultimate goal makes it impossible to be satisfied with just releasing your desire between her legs.

“But I wanna be inside you.”

“Just come like this,” she responds bluntly. Expecting this answer, you decided to try another approach.

You stop moving for a moment, pull the hot shaft out from between her legs, lift her hips up, and then push it back in, at a higher position than before, so it can rub against her mini shorts.

“Wait, what are you…” Yujin becomes upset, but when you start moving it, she lets out a small moan. Thrusting your thickness, you can feel the softness of her pussy through the fabric. As you adjust the angle to hit her sweet spot, her hips twitch slightly in response to the pleasure.

Yujin grabs your shoulders and lowers her head, rounding her back to resist the temptation. Although you can't see her face, her shallow, quickened breaths sync with your sensation. You shift one of your hands from her hips to her chest, palming her breast and teasing her nipple with your fingertips.

Her short cry echoes in the empty train station restroom, and both you and she look at each other in surprise. The air feels frozen for a moment, but as you realize there’s no one around to hear it, you both resume the session.

As you gaze into Yujin's eyes, she meets your stare with disheveled hair and a messy face. She is flushed and damp with sweat, and her eyebrows are filled with shame and pleasure. Every time you tease her breasts with a nipple, she bites her lower lip, indicating that your treatment isn’t wrong.

“Keep going,” Yujin murmured with words that were neither order nor plea, revealing her desperate need for ecstasy. You see this as an opportunity to negotiate with her in the heat of the moment.

"After I get it into you," you say clearly, and Yujin seems unsure of how to respond, looking confused. The wish granted you fake sex with IVE's Yujin, but if you want anything more, you’ll have to achieve it on your own. So, does this mean that the An Yujin in front of you is genuinely struggling with whether or not to accept your cock, regardless of the power of the wish?

You think the last push is necessary and sneak your hand inside her shorts, searching for her clit. Her pussy is already soaking wet, and as you slide your fingers on her sensitive skin, which is coated with lube, unbearable pleasure spreads throughout her body. Yujin lets out a muffled moan, and she hugs your neck to keep herself from collapsing. Finally, she gives in and says, "Okay, okay.”

She looks at you awkwardly, pinches the waistband of her shorts, and then lowers them with a polite gesture. As she lifts her leg and removes the high heels from her shorts, you catch a glimpse of her completely shaved pussy. With a hand on the stall door, she turns around and slightly lifts her skirt, presenting her buttocks to you.

"Oppa, hurry up.”

Her curt tone sounded like a cheap whore, which rather turned you on. You place your cock against her wet labia and press gently. You are permitted to enter through her moist skin and proceed into her feverish depth. As your head glides along with her mucus walls, she groans in sensation. Retracing the path, you feel her pussy waves and grips your cock tightly, pulling you back to inside.

While you teasingly savor her insides, Yujin gestures with her sweaty hand to thrust more. You grab her waist roughly and drag her buttocks toward your pelvis. The sounds of skin slapping against skin echo through the empty restroom, her buttocks undulating, and the young idol's unrestrained cries fill the air.

Yujin's breathing becomes irregular and intense as a result of your relentless thrusting. She tries to soften the impact by moving away from you, but the small stall offers no escape. Despite her effort, the insistent slamming continues unabated, and she appears to be on the edge of collapse.

“Oppa, I need a…" She manages to whisper, shaken by the assault from behind. You pretend not to hear her while constantly stirring her pussy. You fiercely grasp the artistic shape of her ass with both hands, thrusting the heated shaft in and out of the lubricated hole in the center.

With one thrust, Yujin rounds her back and convulses her whole body. After a few seconds of trembling, exhaustion overwhelms her, and she’s about to fall. You quickly catch her, turn her around, and sit her down on the lid of the closed toilet.

Her face is flushed red, and she is barely catching her breath. Her nipples move up and down as she breathes, and her legs hang on either side of the toilet, displaying her undressed lower body. The contrast with her cheerful smile in the advertisement is intensely stimulating, but you avoid staring at her to keep her from realizing how she looks now and getting back to reality.

Yujin's inner thighs are glistening with a few streaks of wetness. You take and place them on your shoulders, inserting your still-hot cock from the front. She moans softly and becomes addicted to the sensation of your shaft stretching out her vagina.

As you push your cock through her labia and into her depth, the force causes her breasts to jiggle. You are immersed in the awareness of your movements piercing through her entire body, unable to stop yourself from moving frantically. Instinct guides your hands to her swinging breasts, your lips to her sweat-slicked neck, and then to her lips for a kiss. This time, Yujin doesn’t resist and gives in to your approach. You and this idol caress each other's lips, entwine their tongues, and share the taste of saliva.

Slamming your shaft into Yujin's pussy, you rub her clit with the thumb of one hand a few times. She twists her face and manages to remain silent in a desperate effort, but as the moment of release approaches again, her expression turns into a mix of fear and anticipation.

She presses both hands against her mouth, and after a split-second of weakness, her body trembles with orgasm on the toilet lid. Her inside is spasming around your cock, but you can't stop moving because you feel the dopamine approaching. Thrusting her lube-soaked, fluttering cunt just a few times, hot semen rushes into her depths.

Breathing heavily, you and Yujin watch the cock is pulled out of her pussy, which is glistening with mucus, and the sperm runs out. Yujin's hair is tangled, and she appears fatigued, but there is a strange satisfaction on her face as she looks at the spilled secretions.

As you're wrapping the toilet paper, you hear a few men entering the restroom. Hey, come on. It's gonna take a while to get out. The instant you are distracted by the noise outside, you feel a warm, wet touch on your lower body. Yujin is bending over, eagerly putting your cock into her mouth, and bobbing her head to suck out every last drop of your cum. Surprised, yet unable to resist the seductive sensation of her tongue gliding over your shaft, your cock quickly returns to its earlier state.

"Looks like we can't go out yet," leaving lips from your cock, Yujin whispers teasingly. "There's still time for another round, right?” she says, carefully sitting back down on the toilet lid so as not to make any noise, and spreading her graceful long legs wide.

Damn, it’s really worth 50,000 won.

[leaawrites]

Good Graces (LN4)

Lando Norris x fem!reader

Summary: when he does something suspect, he has to live with the consequences. Unless he stays in her good graces.

Warnings: swearing, talk about insecurities, almost breaking up, fluff, a bit of angst, secret relationship

Wordcount: 1.8k

Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series

She could tolerate a lot, she really could. But a line must be drawn before everything and a thin one can have contrasts like no other. White can turn into black in a mere second by one wrong step. Or one too much.

“You’ve been acting so weird lately,” Lando said, standing on the opposite side of the room. Hands on his hips and a sour look on his face.

The photos and the rumors were enough to make her mad, though she decided to keep quiet until she saw him in person again. Now, that he was home, standing in front of her, she cornered him the moment he walked into the apartment. Instead of a sweet kiss he was greeted by red eyes and a mad woman.

It wasn’t the first thing he said, it wasn’t even the second or the third. But slowly, with every question following the last, his worry turned into annoyance. The jet lag taking a tool on him. All he wanted was to lie in bed with his girlfriend and cuddle until it was all over, but she wasn’t having it. She could tolerate a lot, but him overstepping the line with every rumor he doesn’t shut down and letting people believe what was not true and only feeding into their take on his reality even more was becoming too much.

“I’m acting weird? You’re being out more with this girl than your own girlfriend at this point,” she defended herself. Tears threatening to spill once more. Spilling more of her feelings than she ever meant to reveal.

“I’m with you every second I can get off from work. I take time off from my sleep to talk to you no matter how late it is, what are you talking about?” His voice got harsher the more he talked.

“You know how I feel about you hanging out with her so much,” she tried getting her point across. “You know it and still you go on vacation with her! Fucking vacation, Lando! I wasn’t even there, I was working and had to find out over fucking Instagram.”

“I told you, that I was going with friends and you were fine with that!”Lando stepped closer to you, his arms flying around the air with every word he spoke.

“I thought it would just be Max or so.”

“Why are you so god damn insecure?”

When you overstep that line it’s hard to get back, but it’s easy to notice. It’s easy to notice to everyone involved. Lando notices as his eyes go wide, filling with guilt, noticing his stupidity. He started stuttering and stumbling over his words, trying to fight his way back but she wouldn’t let him. Not like that.

“Oh, I’m sorry that I actually care about this relationship,” she said, walking past his frozen body and towards their bedroom. “Seems like I’m the only one.”

Flowers and chocolates in the morning wouldn’t get her to soften at the mere sight of it, Lando knew that. He needed something more, something better and more validating. Something that truly showed he cared about them. And when she walked into an empty apartment the next morning with flowers and chocolate decorating the dinner table, she knew it would just be the beginning of a very long week of putting down her lover.

Messages were next, hundreds of texts and even more little letters hidden away in pockets or on his pillow when she woke up alone once again. ‘I love you’s’ or ‘I hope you’re having a great day’. Sometimes little drawing were next to the words, and sometimes he left a flirty comment. But after all it were just written words, not spoken ones.

“Maybe you’re expecting too much?” One of her friends said as Y/n complained to her about the situation and how Lando seemed to still not have time for her. It even seemed like he was just more distant now. Maybe she was too much. Maybe she wanted too much for a woman in love with a racing driver.

“I just want to feel validated,” she confessed, taking another sip of her drink. “Is that really expected too much?”

Maybe she expected too much from the wrong person, she thought as she laid in bed that night.

“Lando,” she called out once she heard the door to their apartment open. Footsteps stopping for a moment to listen carefully if he’d just imagined her calling out to him or if it was real. When she repeated it he finally closed the door and stepped into the living room.

Seeing his girlfriend up at this hour with her laptop prepped up on her legs and working, the TV playing some show or movie in the background. Glasses on her face.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted her, walking up to her and kissing her head.

Looking over her shoulder to see the screen in front of her filled with work stuff. Stuff she assumed he was never interested in. Truth been told, he enjoyed listening to her talk about her job. It felt like a completely different life in contrast to his. Nothing there was filled with paparazzi or strict diets and work-out plans. She actually had time off. Colleagues she didn’t had to fight with in order to keep her job. Colleagues that were completely different people on and off track. For her, it was all one straight, maybe with some curbs or turns on the way, but never too many for her to get as impacted by it as he did.

“What are you working on?”

“Oh, nothing important. Just lousy work stuff.” Shutting the laptop as he sat down next to her, she put it away to turn to him fully. She didn’t want to loose him, she really didn’t. But some things were meant to be spoken out loud, no matter the outcome. “I wanted to talk to you, actually. That’s why I stayed up.”

“What about?” He threw an arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer and resting his lips on her hair.

“I knew, I couldn’t talk to you in the morning because you’d already be busy when I wake up and after training and everything you’d pack your stuff, game a bit and then get ready for bed early to get your plane tomorrow.” She took a deep breath, sitting up and looking at him properly. “I want you to be completely honest with me and I want you to know I will not hate you, OK?”

“Baby, you’re scaring me. What’s up?” Lando looked genuinely, sickly worried. Sitting up straight to show his concern, taking her hands in his.

“If you wanna break up with me, say it. I can’t take more distance or confusion. I just want clearance and if that is us breaking up, I think it’d be better than dancing around each other as if we’re just roommates or some shit.”

His whole face dropped at the proposal, she could see it all unfold in front of her. His jaw went slack, his eyes grew wider and it seemed like all of the colour left his face the moment her words were spoken. “No, no, no, no,” he quickly said, taking her shoulder and rushing out every word he could think of. “I - fuck, no. That was never even a thought I had. God, please don’t think that. I was just so busy with everything going on at the moment, you know. The potential Championship and having to show that I deserved that seat at McLaren. I don’t want you to think that, ever. OK?”

“I just thought, maybe you were getting bored of me. With all the other stuff happening around you.”

“I could never get bored of you.”

If only there was proof to his words. Proof she could rely on. She was supposed to trust him blindly, so why did it seem so unbearable now? The thought of relying solely on one person and their words. He said that now, but what would be in a few years? What would be after another holiday she couldn’t accompany him on? What would be after another long, drunk night in a club he was in alone? Without her. All because of work, all because she couldn’t go with him and had to stay home. All to keep their relationship hidden and safe from the public. Only that it was breaking behind the curtains.

“I don’t think I can go on like this any longer,” she finally said what had been on her mind for weeks now. “I love you, I really do. But I can’t help but think that maybe we aren’t meant to be together for longer than now.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous?”

He had to be kidding, right? He had to. How was she being ridiculous in this moment? All she said was valid, right? Right?

“How can you firstly think, that I’m gonna get bored of you, when you’re literally the most interesting, funniest, most beautiful person, I’ve ever met. Secondly, I believe I have a word to say about this relationship and it’s future as well. I hated the thought of sharing you with the public and all it’s opinions. But the more I thought about it, I don’t hate showing you off.”

“Hold up.” She put her hands up to make him stop talking, looking at him directly and serious. “What are you trying to say? I’d like a short summary of the whole speech and all I haven’t yet heard, of course.”

“Of course,” he nodded with a smile on his face. “Y/n Y/l/n, I love you and if you’re willing to, I would like to make you my publicly known girlfriend.”

“I think I’m gonna faint actually,” she joked with a still rather straight face. “Are you being serious?”

“You can take Thursday and Friday off of work and come with me and Max on his private jet. Kelly said she missed you, so that would be the prefect opportunity for you to catch up and meet all the others. I’d be perfect,” he started rambling his already made up plan. A huge smile covering his face and excitement radiating from him not going unnoticed by no one. “What do you say?”

“I-,” she started talking, but quickly cleared her throat when her voice went an octave higher than normally. “Yeah, I’d love to. I’ve thought about it as well, actually. I know it could be hard, but I’m willing to go through that, with you.”

Capturing her lips with his, she knew this was worth it. The sole feeling of him against her was enough to make was between them worth fighting for. A simple touch and he made her feel whole, and vice versa.

Pulling away from his lips, she pointed her finger at him, “But I swear, you do something suspect and you can kiss my ass goodbye. I’m not kidding.”

“Me neither, baby. Me neither.”

[ccoconutmall]

THIS WAS A SET UP??!

⪼ home

smiling, toge gently set yuta’s phone back on the table it laid on previously. you’d actually believed he was yuta, honestly, toge’s shocked how well he managed to sound like him. “i’m out, yuta! i gotta study for this test tomorrow!” toge called out to yuta who was still in the bathroom taking his shower. “mkay! just close the door on the way out!” he screamed back from behind the bathroom door. the click of the front door could barely be heard from the rushing water. you had gotten yuta’s location after ‘he’ had asked you to come over. for someone you thought was so shy, he sure was pretty forward in that moment. you thought it’d take another 3 years before yuta adjusted to you even being in his life, let alone inviting you over to stay at his dorm. 

you played your music quietly in your headphones as you searched for his dorm. purposely walking just a little bit slower so you could enjoy your music a little more. when you saw the dorm number, you double checked to make sure you weren’t at some other guy’s dorm at almost 10 pm. after knocking on his door, you heard the quiet taps of footsteps and shuffles come to the door, and when he opened it… 

all your eyes could focus on was the fact he was shirtless, drying his damp hair with a small white towel. “hm?” your mouth felt dry, and he didn’t even notice it was you until he opened his eyes and saw you staring at him. his face turning a bright shade of red when he noticed that he was partially naked, in front of the person he actually really fucking likes. ‘y-yn?!” he couldn’t help his stutter. he didn’t even know you were coming, or how you got his dorm number, but in all honesty, he didn’t mind one bit. 

“is this a bad time..? i can go back.. but i you called me over this late and…” you rambled a little and yuta was trying to hide his goofy little grin before the realization hit him. “wait… i invited you? i’ve been in the shower for the past… toge.” he mumbled the last bit before he let you into his dorm. everything was so yuta. from the dirty white converse that lay messily by the front door, to the taped posters on his walls. his small kitchenette was in an organized mess and pictures hung neatly against his black fridge. 

when you walked into the kitchen, you noticed one of the pictures. a small 4 picture strip the two of you guys took at the fair. your smile grew, as you looked back at him. his toned muscles were the first thing in your view as he had his back faced away from you so he could talk to toge. all the other pictures were of him on various trips, his friends and what looked like him and a little girl next to each other, dated in 2007. he clicked off his phone and walked up to you. 

‘yeah toge invited you to stay… if you’re not comfortable then you don’t have to stay if you don’t want..” he sounded serious, but you couldn’t help but look down “yu… are you wearing minecraft boxers?” he quickly looked down and went behind the counter to cover his lower body. “oh my god… i forgot i was like… completely naked! let me get dressed!” he went to run to his room but you held his wrist gently and laughed “they’re cute! i didn’t think you’d have something like that!” he looked at you. why wasn’t he as embarrassed as he should be? all he could think about was you, your smile and the way your eyes closed when you smiled widely. 

clearing his throat, he looked at you, trying to change the topic and skew it away from his boxers. “i saw that you were looking at the pictures on the fridge…” you were reminded of the pictures. specifically the one of you two that resided directly in the middle, like he’d saved that space just for you. “yeah! i see you put our picture up!” he smiled and recalled the memory. 

“c'mon yuta! let’s take a picture!” you pulled him into the photo booth. after all the riding around you guys did, it was nice to get a small break in between. you grabbed a $5 out of your purse and put into into the slot. he thought the flashing light just made your face 10 times more radiant than normal. “do a silly face!” you grabbed him and pulled him close. his heart practically jumped out of his chest when he felt the warmth of your hand grip his arm. he copied your face before you directed him to make more faces. but the last one was different, you had blown a kiss towards the camera and he just couldn’t stop staring at you. your lipgloss made your lips plump and shiny, and that was all he could think about. when the photos were finished, you left the booth to look at the two strips of pictures with a smile. 

“ugh! i love these so much!” you exclaimed before gently setting them into your purse, and him, his pocket before going off to the next ride. 

“yeah. i really like those ones.” he looked at them longingly before you pointed at the other picture you were looking at. “who’s this?” your finger leading up to the dated picture, you looked over at him as he bent down to look at where your finger was pointed. “that’s me and my little sister, i was 6 and she was 5, so we were probably on our way to school then.” he laughed and looked over. “you’d like her alot, she’s really sweet. i think you two would have a lot in common.” 

the two of you were up for a while, just talking. before you felt your eyelids grow heavy. you laid on his couch and closed your eyes. he hadn’t even noticed you fell asleep until he looked over and noticed how slow your breathing got. you looked at peace. he went over to you before gently picking you up off the couch and to his bedroom. he laid you on his bed and covered you in his blanket, the smell of him filling your nose. he pushed your hair back slightly and kissed your forehead before making his way back to the living room with a blanket to sleep on his couch, while you laid comfortable in his room.

© property of ccoconutmall ‘24. please do not repost, copy, modify, or translate.

taglist;

@sunflowertingzzzz, @k0z3me, @mollzaj, @mixzimi, @chiefinvestigatoremma, @dearneverland , @sad-darksoul , @luvvmae , @demiitria , @morideadcat , @puppyminnnie , @luv-cinnamon , @conitagray, @princess-peachys , @theclassbookworm , @iiwaijime , @digitaltrippers , @1ndee , @satoryaa , @kaedeyo , @dmoonrrr , @lucislovebug

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[sstan-hoe]

𝑷𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒊

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — actor!aemond targaryen × fem!reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — life with aemond is always risky...but not just because of his status in society. No, more because he likes doing risky activities...

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — smut, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, getting caught, public sex

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — well, what more can I say besides the fact, that the new trailers awaked something in me? Team black forever, I'll just take aemond as a prisoner

A happy sigh left your mouth as you leaned your back against Aemond while his fingertips graced along your arms.

He had found a cinema with the opportunity to watch a movie while laying comfortably in your seat and god was it amazing.

And another plus point, the cinema was rather outside the city and as a result not as crowded, meaning no paparazzi or fans were around.

You and Aemond were in the last row, giving your man enough privacy to trail his hand from your arm down to your sweats. “Aemond!” You whisper-shouted trying to slap his hand away but instead he gripped your wrist with his free hand, caging you in between his arms.

“Come on love, live a little…” He chuckled, his lips lightly gazing your cheek.

You rolled your eyes at his words, Aemond lived for those risky sex moments. While you did enjoy them, you often come too close to getting caught.

“Aemond, we almost got caught last time!” You complained as his finger slipped into your panties, and that gods forsaken pussy of your betrayed you once again by getting wet just from his voice.

“Quite a tone you have there...you are really serious huh?” He asked with amusement dripping from his voice.

“You’re soaked for me, my little whore is turned on by getting caught,” Aemond drags his fingers through your folds, rubbing your clit gently. A whimper left your lips as he put pressure into his movements.

Suddenly a white light filled the cinema and it surly wasn’t the movie.

Aemond looked around, his eye scanned his right side and locked with the ones of a paparazzi. The actors face was filled with rage, he pulled his hand away from you and gently pushed you to the side.

“What the actual fuck man? How much of a perv do you have to be, taking a photo of my girl and I? You better get your ass out of here before you don't feel your face anymore, sick fuck!” He yelled at the paparazzi who scrambled out of the theatre.

“Come on, we’re leaving and tomorrow we will go to the police, and I will call my agent.” Aemond promised you softly, taking your hand to help you stand up.

Tears threatened to leave your eyes as you walked out of the cinema. A crowd of paparazzi were waiting outside, all of them making photos of Aemond and you. “Shut those fucking cameras off!” the blonde snapped at one of them who held the camera close to your face.

You could hear them ask questions, but you didn’t know what they said, too focused on getting out of there.

When you were finally inside the car you took a deep breath, though your exhaling was shaky. Aemind grabbed your hand giving it a gently squeeze before starting the engine, “we will be home any second love, I promise,” he whispered while stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.

You nodded at him to let him know that you were listening. He always wanted to here you say that you were with him in situations like this, however at the moment was all you could offer him.

The car came to a stop in front of your apartment, Aemond walked over to your side and opened the door for you helping you out of the car. “I’m gonna make you a hot chocolate, how does that sound?”

His thumb graced over your cheekbone as he smiled at you. You didn’t answer his question, instead you slowly realized what happened. “They saw us…that man took a photo of us, while you had you hand in my pants…oh god they caught us! What are we going to do?”

“Tomorrow I will go to the police, make an indication, call my agent and we will sue them yeah?”

“But what if they use it against us? I don’t believe it's allowed to do that,” your eyes were filled with fright as your mind imagined all the possibilities, on how this could be used against you.

“Maybe, but what that man did was far worse than our little adventure and even if they use it against us do you know how many people are on our side? Aegon, Rhaenyra, Daemon, Haelena and those were only a few!” He tried to reassure. You wanted to believe him so bad but a voice in your head told you the oppisite.

“And they won’t think I’m a…slut?” “Oh, god my love no! You are not a slut, it was my fault we got caught, okay? I made you do this, it's all my fault.”

His large rough, but gentle hands cupped your cheeks as the tears you tried to hold back streamed down your face. Aemond lead you to the couch and brought a tissue up to your cheeks, drying your tears.

“It's you and me against the world, yeah? We did that and it was okay, you are not a slut, and that man is a sick perv who will get at least liberty punishment and with our lawyer he will end up in prison.”

The tears slowly stopped, your vision was still blurry, but you could make out how Aemond looked at you, with so much love and care. “I love you and I’m sorry we got caught my beautiful girl,” he whispered against your lips.

“I love you too,” you replied sealing your lips in a soft, slow kiss that was filled with passion.

“I’m going to make sure that paparazzi gets what he deserves,” Aemond promised you as he carefully pulled away from your soft lips, giving you one last kiss before he stood up.

“Hot chocolate?” “With marsh-“ “Marshmallows I know,” he gave you a cute smile before vanishing in the kitchen.

He knew that by tomorrow the whole internet would be flooded with the picture, but with you by his side he knew that he could go through hell and back, with smile as if you just told him, you loved him.

[ladyamanda123]

You guys….my head just EXPLODED

🤯🤯🤯

Okay bare with me here because my thoughts are literally chaos right now! Going to try and take you through the ninja katana that just happened to my brain!

1. Everyone has been focusing on this album being white. Taylor wore a white dress, Taylor used the 🤍, etc etc

This has been bothering my photographer mind since I very first saw the cover. That cover is not black and white. That cover is Sepia.

Rep is Black and white…..Folklore as well (though more muted and grey than stark black and white like Rep)

Poets is Sepia!

Now obviously there is no Sepia heart emoji so it could be that simple BUT Taylor is a mastermind and she doesn’t do accidents. The Sepia toned album cover is not white and that immediately drew attention to it when everyone is focused on the white aspects (which also lended itself nicely to the Rep TV/Poets bait and switch)

2. So I decided to go learn about the history of Sepia and quickly came across this very interesting article. I started reading. Immediately aspects of this colours history started setting off lightbulbs 💡

Sepia comes from the Cuttlefish’s defence mechanism. When under attack the cuttlefish releases a cloud of ink to distract the predator and make a swift (SWIFT!!) escape!?!?

Already we have the ink tie in specifically mentioning jet black (like the octopus and squid) but the cuttlefish’s defender cloud is sepia……this album is a defence mechanism so she can distract the predators (hetlors/the press) to make her escape to safety. It’s the bait and switch. The distraction. The decoy.

This was already enough to have my jaw on the floor…but wait! There’s more!

3. Sepia’s use in photography…

This love story began in black and white…in Reputation.

🎶I once believed love would be black and white….but it’s golden (Daylight)

This cover photo is very clearly Daylight after the long and tortured Midnight….now she only sees Daylight!

Sepia has come to represent a by-gone age….

Everyone thinks that Kaylor is over and done. Just an ended friendship, a burned bridge, no longer relevant…but the act of making that relationship look old was actually used to preserve that love and allow it to be long lasting!

There’s also the very obvious photography connection with the Polaroids significance to Kaylor.

Also note the nod to 1920s….along with the Clara Bow track pointed at that era here’s another possible link to the roaring 20s

Another link to Daylight coming after Midnight…the opening of the Karma music video shows the Midnights album which turns into a golden sunlight over the golden Taylor statue. Midnight to Daylight.

So as if all of this wasn’t already enough I kept reading and the next paragraph made me scream…..

The Wizard of FUCKING OZ you guys!!!!

(Side note that we have the Blake/Taylor Dorothy and Ariel combo call back here as well! Worth noting maybe Daddy I Love Him will shed some light on this Halloween Party…we know our 🎃 anon wanted us focusing on Halloween! Maybe this evening was significant in the story!)

So everyone thinks of it as black and white but it’s actually Sepia…..yes yes go on…..

So you’re telling me to create the illusion (🎶All eyes on me your illusionist) of sepia to colour they were using a body double. A double! A bait and switch! A stand in! Like every single beard relationship and every single Karlie stand in we have been seeing lately! Blake at Beyonces premiere….Keleigh at the Golden Globes, Keleigh as the bride, etc etc etc.

Slight of hand, more illusions and bait and switch imagery to make the art work and the magic happen.

Holy Shit!!!

I need to go pass out now!

Link to the Sepia article:

[samk1tty]

When I'm Down on My Knees, You're How I Pray

masterlist

context: smut, masturbation, oral, pain kink?, degradding?, virgin reader?, weirdo Bjorn??, not proofread, not accurate to alien universe at all

a/n: no cause we are pegging bjorn next!!

Walking up the steps of Bjorn and Navarro's trailer, where the group would be spending friday night at, you try and push the door open, the lock preventing it in doing so. You must be the first one here, after an exaggerated sigh you dig through your bag in search of the keys. You push the door in, closing it behind you. It's been a while since you've came by, the group usually spent nights at your trailer as you live alone. Walking further into the trailer, towards the familiar door with the fading sharpie drawn skull, leading into Bjorn's room. It was a mess, a habit he never seemed to ditch.

You didn't want to be in your work clothes for the rest of the night, you settle on stealing Bjorn's clothes as it would fit slightly looser than Navarro's would. Looking around for a second your eyes land on a gray hoodie, one that didn't look too dirty and wasn't totally overpowered by sweat and shitty cologne Bjorn wore. Ripping your uncomfortable shirt off along with the dirty pants, slipping on the hoodie you suddenly felt anew, you would wait until everyone arrived to put on a pair of Bjorns boxers. You sigh once again looking at the mess around you, quickly picking up dishes and cans of beer carefully dropping them off in the kitchen sink. Running back to pick up dirty clothes and tossing them into the laundry basket in the corner of the room. You plop down on the bed after the many trips to the kitchen. The room slightly cleaner though, not clean enough.

Continuing to tidy up for him, not knowing if he'll even notice. Your eyes land on a contrast of colors, something you couldn't believe you didn't notice before. The white fabric that you lost a couple weeks ago, one that was your favorite, hanging from the dresser. You quickly pull the fabric out, holding it carefully in your hands as if it were an artifact. Why would Bjorn have it. Did you misplace it? You place the fabric down, sitting down at the edge of the bed and get back to cleaning. You could ask bjorn about it later.

Opening the bedside drawer to put in stray items that sat atop. Inside the drawer you see a stack of photos, picking them up deciding to invade his privacy. You smile, the first, a picture forcibly taken by his mother, your arms thrown around his neck and him with an upset expression plaster on his face. The next picture one of you with and Kay. The next is you...sleeping. Not as weird as the last two pictures, though both also of you sleeping, the straps of your tank top you wore seemed to have slipped, exposing your bare chest. The last, a meticulously taken picture of just your breasts. A knot forms in your throat, scooping the pair of panties you figured at this point Bjorn must've stole from you. Why would he take yours though? Was he just horny enough to look at his childhood best friend in this way instead of any other girl? Did Bjorn like you? Was that the reason no guy was ever good enough. All of them only wanting you for your body, but why would anyone 'actually' love you, he would always say. Did Bjorn want you for himself?

In a way, he did have you for himself, you both being practically inseparable since children. No one had ever seen you in such a way that the pictures showed. Your hips shuffle slightly at the thought, the mattress you sat on grazing your core. Putting the picture and fabric to the side you laid back on the bed, breathing in the scent of the hoodie you wore. Your thighs rub together in search of friction. Something that had been denied to you all through your teenage years because of Bjorn's remarks. Your fingers roam down to the black pair of panties you wore. Fingers caressing the tender flesh. Your left hand rubbing your nipples. Your back arching at the growing frustration. It wouldn't be your first time doing this, though it always just seemed wrong, as if you were sinning. Maybe it was just Bjorn's words that contradicted this action. You gulp, pulling the black fabric to one side letting your fingers connect with the warmth of your growing wetness, a hum escaping your lips at the newfound feeling, the hardened buds on your chest visible through the hoodie which only fueled your desires. Your hips moving along with your hands as your fingers speed up. You were so in your head you forgot the others would be coming soon, the pleasure too overwhelming that in the moment you wouldn't mind if someone saw you like this.

As a patch of wet grows beneath you, upon bedsheets that don't belong to you, your legs tremble, you squeal with delight, immediately rushing to cover your mouth. Your legs instinctively shut not being able to gift yourself the release you deserve. Upon opening your eyes you see Bjorn in the doorway. Your eyes grow wide, quickly sitting up "Bjorn! I didn't- I didn't hear you come in." Your words bring him to walk in the room, his eyes land on your belongings, the one he stole from your room one night, and the pictures he captured in secret. He was embarrassed that you found them. Though the look on your face, the red flush, the teary eyes, ruffled hair, and your hardened nipples, prominent even from under the fabric, he can't look away. All he had to do was take this moment to make you seem like the bad guy. "The fuck're you im my room for?" "I was cleaning..." "I don't need ya to clean for me what'er you my mum?" He steps closer, seemingly trying to see how he can make this work for him. He wouldn't take long with you he thought, so the others arriving soon wouldn't be an issue. He grabs your right hand forcibly, the two middle fingers wet.

"What's this then? You touchin' yourself in my bed?" as you hesitate to answer he mouth slips around your fingers, a soft gasp escaping your lips. "This what ya want?" he whispers. You choke on any possible words that could come out of your mouth, a shiver running down your back. He smirks noticing your reaction, his lips leave your fingers, a soft pop accompanying it "You like this, don't you? Mmm," he hums appreciatively, "you taste good, princess. Tell me... ya still a virgin?" You look away sheepishly, embarrassed "You give any of these twats a chance with you? Anyone taste you like this?" He ask his breath trailing down your neck as he get closer and closer. You shake your head no. He grins at your response, in a proud manner.

"Tha's a good girl," he murmurs, his lips now at your ear. "Knew you wouldn't let nobody touch you, knew you needed a real man." He smirks, hands sliding down your body, possessive and almost greedy. The knowledge that you've remained untouched, that you will be his and only his, ignites a fire within him. "You want it?" he asks, you nod quickly assuming what he was implying. "Say it," he commands, his voice thick with desire, "tell me you want it." You stay silent not confident enough to admit it. "What if i make you say it, huh?" he questions "Make me?" "Mhm" he hums, pulling your legs with him as he kneels down to the edge of the bed. "I'll start here. Then i won't do anything until you tell me." You nod. Immediately he dives in, pulling the black fabric to the side once again, his lips instantly connecting with your clit. A gasp escapes your lips as your legs clasp around Bjorn, who forcibly pushes them open again. He speed up, doing anything he can, until your a moaning mess. Your hand tangled in his hair, roughly tugging, trying to keep yourself grounded. You murmur his name. Your eyes roll back as he sticks two fingers in you once he pulls away. He moves up, eyes darkened as he whispers in your ear, "Say it. Tell me what you want luv." "I want you," you breathe, your voice wavering as Bjorn's fingers work inside you. "More specific," he coaxes, wanting to hear your desires spoken aloud, "Don't hold back, luv. Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you." As his patients wears thin at your lack of communicating a loud slap whipped on your cunt echos through the room, your legs shutting on his hand. Spreading them harshly, seemingly aggravated, he throws your legs over each of his shoulders, pulling the fabric of the hoodie up to your neck, laying slaps on the sensitive, bare flesh of your tits. The pain he's inflicting on you twists into pleasure the combination rushing a new wave of heat through your body until you finally concede "Bjorn please- please just fuck me."

His hand dropped from it's raised position, his satisfied smirk replacing the frown as he quickly pulls off his clothes, leaving him bare. Your breath hitches in seeing him like this, almost as if he were a mythical creature, something so beautifully strange. He leans back over you, stroking himself "Ready?" you nod eagerly, a scoff leaving his throat. His hand raises to rest on your cheek as he chuckles "Such a virgin, so needy." he comments then he aggressively shoves his cock in you, a strained scream leaves your lips as he watches you. "Bjorn...i can't-" his forehead pressed against yours, he shushes you "I'll help you through it" he voice strained, as if trying his best to contain himself and not hurt you. You nod and from there he moves as slowly, stopping immediately each time you whimper. As soon as you adjust to his size, he immediately goes faster. The slick sound of his dick sliding in you, following each snap of his hips. Moans coming from both of you are silenced immediately as the front door opens, Tyler's voice echoing, calling out if anyone was home. You both stay silent, looking towards the open bedroom door, Bjorn continuing to pound into you. "Fuck, you want 'em to come see you like this? Come see me fucking my best mate. Turns you on don't it, fucking slut. Should let him come in here and shove his cock in your mouth, huh?" he whispers, the sounds of footsteps getting closer. You contain your whimper when bjorn pulls out of you harshly to close and lock the room door untimely to jealous to ever let anyone else, especially Tyler take any pleasure in touching you. He comes back grabbing your hips, slowly sliding in, continuing his rhythm.

"Bjorn, you in there?" Tyler knocks "Yeah, mate, just give me a second, would ya." Bjorn replies, voice sounding unusual. His head fully thrown back his teeth gritted together trying to remain silent "Everything ok? Ya sound-" "I'm fine. I'll be out in a sec, alright?" Your body contorts as soon as tyler's footsteps walk away from the door , your mind going blank. Both quickly approaching your climax. Bjorn's lips smash upon yours as he grunts spilling his fluids into you. Your hand wrap around his bicep as you twitch uncontrollably, your fluids squirting out. After a moment he cleans you up, he redresses and leans over you once again, "We can do that all the time, whenever ya want. All you gotta do is say." you give him an acknowledging look as he steps away. You get up, mind hazy pulling on a pair of Bjorn's boxers over your drenched panties. As you both are about to walk out Bjorn turns to you pointing, "Hey, you're not a virgin anymore!" he chuckles going back his 'friendly' attitude and walks out joining Tyler on the couch.

[gunilslaugh]

Black & White Pt.2

Kim Jungsu  Summary: Jungsu used to be a part of light then he switched over to the darkness. (non-idol au) WC:~1.7k Warning:(maybe kinda angst towards the end)

part 1 part 3 epilogue!

photo not mine credits to owner.

When every baby is born they are handed an energy pearl. If the pearl turns white it means the baby’s heart is pure and they will be sent to live in White Clouds. However if the pearl turns black that means that the baby heart is immoral and they’re sent to live in the Black Shadows. What if a baby’s pearl was gray?

Well no baby’s pearl had ever turned gray before. They were always black or white, good or bad. That was until Jungsu that is. The pearl placed in his infant hand turned gray. Not black or white. Not clearly good or bad. It caused quite an uproar amongst officials. What should they do with him? In the end it was decided that he would go to White Clouds with the hopes that his pearl would eventually turn white by being surrounded by goodness. 

Jungsu wasn’t allowed to show others his gray pearl so as to not cause any suspicions. They provided him with a fake one to use until his real one turned white. Maybe it was because of his gray pearl that Jungsu didn’t want to get close to others. Maybe that’s why his personality was standoffish and cold. 

“Jungsu!” you called him. Jungsu turns back to see you approaching him. Your white pearl shining especially bright around your neck. It was known to everyone in White Clouds that you were born with the purest heart. Your pearl shined the brightest out of everyones, so did your eyes and smile. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“Be my partner for combat training,” you tell him. 

“Don’t you have people lining up to be your partner? Why me?” he asked. 

“I don’t actually. Everyone else has a partner already, so it’s just us left,” you explained. Jungsu found it hard to believe that no one would want to be partners with you. You were so sweet and kind. You were always there for everyone. You truly were the epitome of goodness.

“I’ll see you in class then. Don’t expect me to go easy on you though,” he told you. 

“Why would I want that?” you say. Jungsu can’t fight off his smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oww I know you said you wouldn’t go easy on me, but did you have to flip me that hard?” you groaned from where you lay on the ground. Something stirs in Jungsu’s heart as he sees you lying on the ground in pain.

“Sorry. Are you hurt?” Jungsu helped you up from the ground. 

“I’m fine. Let’s go again,” you say. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What if someone was born with a gray pearl?” Jungsu asked you one night. The two of you were out at the spring. Watching how the moon reflected against the gently flowing water.

“Gray? Like both good and evil?” you checked. Jungsu nodded his head in confirmation. 

“I guess it depends if they leaned into the light or darkness,” you say. 

“If they chose light?” Jungsu prompted. 

“Then they’re good,” you state. 

“That simple? You wouldn’t think they’re some type of abomination or impure?” he questioned. 

“No.” You shook your head. “If you’re good, you’re good. If you’re bad, you’re bad. That’s how our world is: Black and White,” you say. 

“You really are naive,” Jungsu chuckles. 

“Well I was kinda born that way.” You chuckle as well, looking down at your pearl pendant on your neck that emitted a subtle glow in the darkness of night.

“That’s right you have the purest heart of them all.” Jungsu leaned over to hold your pearl between his fingers for a moment before letting it go. 

“You know hearts can change?” you asked. 

“What are you talking about?” Jungsu followed. 

“I don’t know why they don’t teach about it anymore, but I found some old history books in the backroom of the library. There was once a war between White Clouds and Black Shadows. I don’t know all of the details because some pages were missing, but it talked about people's hearts changing. Some went from light to dark and others went from dark to light,” you explained. “So if someone’s dark heart can transform into light and someone’s light heart can be consumed by darkness there’s no reason why someone with a gray heart can’t be light too,” you say.

For the first time Jungsu could say that he felt something that felt like hope. Later when he pulled out his gray pearl he found that it was a few shades lighter. 

It wouldn’t remain lighter for long though. Your talk about people’s hearts changing got Jungsu curious,so one night he crept inside the backroom of the library to find the history books you were talking about, but while he was in the backroom somebody else came in. Jungsu quickly hid behind some old dust covered shelves. 

“Are you sure they’re the one?” Jungsu hears a voice say. 

“I’m positive sir. They’re pearl glows like the moon and everyone here knows they’re the one with the purest heart. The officials say it’s the purest heart since the Discord War.” 

“How soon can you bring them to me for sacrifice?” That feeling shows up in Jungsu’s heart again. The same one he felt when he saw you laying on the ground during your combat training.

“They’re scheduled for isolation training in two weeks. It’ll be all too easy to take them then.”

“Ok, don’t mess this up.” 

“I won’t sir.” Jungsu hears the person who entered the room leave. He comes out from where he was hiding behind the shelf. Now he knows what the feeling in his heart is. He wants to protect you.

Discord War? That had to be the war you were telling him about. Jungsu made quick work of finding the books. The cause of the war is conveniently the pages that are missing. Jungsu gets a bad feeling about it. He has to find those pages. He had to know what he was dealing with so that he could stop you from being sacrificed. He was ready to save you at all costs.

He scoured the entire backroom, practically flipping it upside down. That’s when he came across a box with a lock on it. He doesn’t even bother looking for the key; he simply breaks the lock. Low and behold inside are the missing pages. 

Jungsu knows what he has to do after reading them. His pearl that was once a light gray now darkens to a black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jungsu! Jungsu!” You frantically called after him, fighting away from the officials trying to hold you back. You had just gotten out of isolation when you heard the news.

“You didn’t really do it right? I’ll believe you if you say you didn’t do it. You didn’t kill Master Jason right?” Jungsu turns to look at you from over his shoulder. 

“I did.” He looked at you with dark eyes. 

“No, no you wouldn’t.” Tears pricked your eyes.

“Actions don’t always speak the truth, maybe you should understand that if you don’t want to get hurt next time.” he tells you, turning back around. 

“Jungsu!” you called out again. He didn’t look back at you. He just let himself get dragged away. “Jungsu,” you say his name again, collapsing onto the ground. 

“I’m sorry y/n,” your master comes over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

“He wouldn’t do this,” you say. A sigh escapes from your master. 

“Y/n you heard him. He did. He wasn’t who we thought he was. His pearl turned black,” he tells you. 

“What? No, that can’t be,” you refused. 

“It is. Let me tell you something. Jungsu’s pearl turned gray when he was born. We thought that if he was surrounded by goodness that his pearl would become white, but it looks like the opposite happened. We don’t know how long it’s been black, but it seems like he had been plotting this a while,” your master informs. 

“A -a gray pearl?” you asked, recalling the night Jungsu asked you about what if someone was born with a gray pearl. “You really are naive,” you recalled his words. No, he didn’t mean it like that. He didn’t mean it in a bad way. He wanted to be good. You know he did. You could feel it. 

“Mhm, don’t tell the others about it. It’s causing enough trouble amongst the officials.” 

“They’re taking him to Black Shadows aren’t they?” you asked. 

“Y/n no. You have to stay away from him. He just killed someone.” But you had to know why Jungsu would do this. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You arrived at Gray Bridge, the spot where White Clouds crosses over to Black Shadows. You took a deep breath before stepping onto the bridge. You had to find Jungsu. 

“You’re really stupid aren’t you? How could you come here?” It was Jungsu's voice. You turned towards his voice and there he was. His once white cloak is now black. 

“You didn’t do it right?” you say. Jungsu scoffs. 

“I did it y/n. What will it take to get that through your skull?” He’s never spoken to you with such a cold tone before.

“You were born with a gray pearl. That’s why you asked me about it that night. You wanted to turn your gray pearl white didnt you? I know you did,” you state. 

“No, I didn’t. I was just fooling you. You were just entertainment to me,” he tells you. His words yank harshly on your heartstrings. 

“No.” You shake your head. “That’s not true, I know it’s not. I trust you Jungsu, so please tell me what this is all about,” you pleaded. 

“You shouldn’t have put your trust in me so much.” His cold words stab your heart. “But trust me when I say this, there are more important things in my life to worry about. You’re definitely not one of them.” Jungsu disappeared right after saying that. 

With that your heart broke. Your sparkling tears cascaded down your face as you clutched your aching heart. You still didn’t want to believe that Jungsu could do this.

part 1 part 3 epilogue!

taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143

comment or message me to be added!

[108garys]

Em=Hannah

Consider this an unofficial part two of my previous writing on Emily's character, a certain thought that has been in the back of my mind for a while(seriously, I wanted to write this out before the remake came out and just did not have the time over the past few months)

At anyrate there's a few things to be clear about first, the prank will be discussed in a manner that speaks of intent, outcome and intended outcome sepreately, I have zero intention of downplaying the severity when I talk about Hannah in this and I hope we can at least see this as an everyone sucks type of situation.

So to spell out the actual premise of this analysis, I believe Em=Hannah socially in the fallout of the prologues events and is bearing the social consequences Hannah would have received if things went to plan.

For this we must understand that completely apart from the terribleness of the prank, the disappearance and Hannah immediately removing her shirt were not considered factors and the prank of course relies on Hannah's willingness to go for someone already taken(again there is a grey area between making her an innocent victim and putting all the blame on her, okay? I won't disclaimer it again).

So I asked myself how was this supposed to go? Would it get to barely kissing and everyone jumps out and shames her? Perhaps, but after that what would the friend group situation look like? Obviously Sam and Hannah's siblings would stand by her but this would be a massive stain on her reputation with the group but that's not how it went and in my opinion that stain is borne by Emily, as it was ostensibly done "for her" even though if you honestly look at it Emily is no more involved than Ashley and infact did nothing other than be present, the fact that it was done "for her" over inflateS her sense of responsibility in the minds of both characters and players alike.

Firstly I wanted to reference how Jess speaks of Hannah in the prologue is relatively similar to how she speaks of Em in the main game, as the intruding party, and that the fallout of their friendship is brutal and I'm sure if Hannah had been around in the to plan version that fallout would have been equally brutal for Hannah.

Another thing to consider is that the prom photo has Hannah/Sam/Mike/Emily which places these four as particularly close outside of Emily's friendship with Jess and Hannah's crush on Mike so I do believe that Emily was much more enmeshed in a perceived core part of the broader friend group before everything.

Continuing on with old photos, the twins wear black and white interchangeably in photos but obviously in the prologue Hannah is wearing black but Emily on the other hand was wearing blue both in the prologue and in her old photos, so this means that her main colour changes from blue to black and she's the only other character than Hannah to wear (almost) all black on screen, through this lens this is symbolism of Emily's position in the group shifting to fill Hannah's social role in wake of the twins disappearance.

She is often judged more harshly both by the other characters and by the player despite how other characters are acting in the same situation, like her reaction to Mike jumping out at her and Matt on the path was entirely reasonable but it's still implied that she is being a certain way which is the first taste of her being framed as a villain despite the fact that she hadn't done anything to earn it.

Beyond this Emily's time alone in the mines is most similar to Hannah's experience, she even has a leg injury at the time much like Hannah broke her leg in the fall. Hannah's continued anger at Emily post transformation is an interesting parallel to Emily and Jess's rivalry, Hannah's jealously is twisted into a deep seated hatred for her perceived main obstacle to everything she wanted(likely with a large side of her monstrous self blaming her as the reason she ended up like that because if she wasn't dating Mike then the prank wouldn't have happened) and Emily is on the other side of this very same happiness and similarly lashes out at the people who ruined her good thing, not only her relationship to Mike but her place in the group.

A point that's been stuck in my mind that further emphasizes the Em=Hannah lens is that Emily can be betrayed by everyone else involved in the prank to some degree: Jess betrays her friendship, Mike can kill her, Ash non determinantly encourages him, Matt can leave her to die. She constructs part of herself just as much as Hannah(or Jess) did to be liked but because she's already been burnt it comes off differently and is a defensive measure rather than an appealing front. She is jaded and desperately wants to be proven wrong, she was at the center of the prologue's prank, every single person involved supposedly doing this "for her", so when the object of their ire is not present, when guilt and blame sets in, a new object needs to receive that ire because otherwise it was all for nothing and it was of course done for her.

So that concludes my Em=Hannah analysis and I will again note that this was conceptualized and written without influence of the remake and is entirely based in the original release. Beyond that anything said negatively about the rest of the cast is more so through this lens and not a general reflection on them all together.

Tags?

@kassiekole22 @delurkr @ctrvpani @eframschweigersskincells

@conra @tinynightmarewoman @qusok @kindheartedgummybears I hope this all makes sense as its months of scattered thoughts written down after a recent replay to refresh my memory 😅

[rookie-chenford]

Was it worth the risk?

@looby1302 I hope I did this justice for you. If there's any spelling errors, I apologize it's late and I also can't see through tears lol. But thank you for putting this idea out into the universe. As soon as I saw your post about it, I knew I had to write it.

Description: Chenford's break up but with a twist.

Words: 703

Warnings: Just pure sadness

At the sound of the door opening, Lucy looks up and sees Tim walking towards her. “Come here.” She says opening her arms and embracing Tim. “How’d it go with IA?” Tim pulls back from the hug. He hesitates a moment before answering. “I-I lied about everything. I mean I saved my job, right? Protected you and Lopez.” Lucy shook her head. “It was an impossible situation. I would have done the same thing if I was in your place.” This time it was Tim's turn to shake his head, knowing Lucy would never do what he’d just done. “You wouldn’t have been in my place. You never would have put self-interest over your team.”

“Look, you thought you could handle it. You were wrong. But you made it right. So it’s fine.” Tim scoffs. “Yeah.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I wish it was that easy. Lucy, I just lied to two men I deeply respect, okay? I just betrayed everything I thought was right about myself.” Lucy goes to speak, but he stops her. “No, no, you gotta let me finish, okay? This is very hard for me to say.” Lucy places her hands on Tim’s shoulders to ground him. “Okay.” She nods for him to continue. “Lucy, I’ve been lying to myself for a long time. That’s clear to me now, and I can’t, I can’t just go back to the way things were. Not right now. Maybe never.” He swallows thickly, trying to keep his emotions at bay. Lucy searches Tim’s eyes, not believing he’s breaking up with her, but the words still escape her lips. “Wait. Are you breaking up with me?” Tim hesitates to answer. “I’m sorry.” His voice cracks on the last word. Lucy sighs before speaking, trying to form the words in her head, but stumbles over her words. “You don’t. You don’t get to do that. You don’t. You don’t get to lie to me and then use that as an excuse to leave me, okay? That’s not okay.” “I know.”

“That’s not okay.” “I know.”

“What you’re doing is not okay.” “I know.”

Tim takes a breath before continuing. “You. You are an incredible person.” Lucy looks away from him, telling him no, not believing that he is actually doing this. “No, you’re incredible, okay? You deserve so much better.” Lucy scoffs. “Oh, my God.” Her face hardens, anger seeping in now. “That’s why I’m walking away.” Lucy’s voices crack as she speaks. “Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?” She pulls her hands away from his, anger and sadness flowing through her body. “Why are you doing this?” She asks again. Tim grabs the sides of Lucy’s face. “I’m sorry.” He kisses her forehead. Before he turns to leave, Lucy pulls something out of her back pocket and shoves it into Tim’s chest, making him stumble a little. “Worth the risk, huh? Congratulations.” Lucy turns and opens the driver’s side door, making quick work of putting her seatbelt on and driving away. Tim pulls his hand back from his chest and stares at the black and white photo. Disbelief washes over his face at the realization of what Lucy just handed him.

Lucy unlocks her apartment door and steps inside quietly, not wanting to disturb Tamara. She sets her bag down and takes her shoes off by the door. Quietly making her way to her room, she shuts the door and leans against it. Small tears turn into full-on sobs as she slides down the door. She brings her hands up to her mouth trying to muffle the sounds. She truly can’t believe the love of her life broke up with her, leaving her and their baby alone. After a moment, she pulls herself together and continues with her nightly routine, staying in the shower longer than she normally did. She pulls back the comforter and slides in, getting as comfortable as she can since Tim is no longer there. Her hand makes its way down to the lower part of her belly, rubbing just below her belly button. “We’re going to be okay.” She says as a single tear runs down the side of her face. “I hope.”

[kai-anderson-whore]

Ughhhh first things first I LOVE your stories 🤤 I have a request on Evan. Can you write a smut in which Evan and the reader have been seeing each other for a while and Evan invites her for dinner at his? They are just chit-chatting and Evan shows her his childhood and family photos. It starts as a fluffy story but things get heated at the end 🥵🔥

This was meant to be posted a week ago, but I loved writing this hope you enjoy.

Memories (smut) (Evan peters x fem reader)

Warnings; smut, oral (reader receiving), fingering, p in v sex also Fluff at the start.

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

The cold wind blowing around you as you knocked on the wooden door of your boyfriend of eight months evan, waiting for him to answer, he had invited you over for a home cooked meal a wine and dine in the comfort of your boyfriends home.

"Hey babe" he smiled allowing you inside his home, "Hey evan I'm excited for tonight" you smiled back shrugging out your long coat revealing your outfit you chose for tonight, black ripped mom jeans with a white satin shirt accessorised with your gold jewelry and rings, evan thought you looked stunning in anything you wore.

Kicking off your vans leaving them beside where he kept his shoes, evan told you to follow him, "your just in time dinner is ready just need to plate it up" he informed, "Thank you evan really" you smiled going to take a seat at the dining room table seeing there was two glasses of wine already there along with the bottle, cutlery set, and candles with a rose in the middle on a little vase.

"Aww Ev this is beautiful" you beamed so he could hear you from the kitchen, evan coming in with two plate of carbonara, "I'm glad you like it hope you enjoy your meal ma'am" he chuckled placing your plate infront of you, "why thank you waiter" you joked making evan chuckle again sitting in his seat across from you.

Taking a mouthful of the pasta you nodded as evan waited on your approval, "this is really good babe" you smiled enjoying the taste of the meal he had cooked, "I was worried you weren't going to like it" he smiled now taking a taste of his meal, "it is actually good" he hummed.

"So how was work?" He asked as you took a sip of the wine, "it was alright had a shoot for a campaign today it was stressful" you giggled you were a campaign model and had to shoot for a makeup brands new mascara hence why you had your makeup on tonight.

"Oh yeah the mascara add well you look absolutely stunning" he complemented making you blush, "Thank you evan, you look very handsome tonight" you smiled he was more dressed up tonight, in some dark jeans and a knitted sweater, now he was the one to blush.

"Why thank you" he said shoving the last fork full of pasta in his mouth, "Wow evan that was incredible who knew your such a good cook" you said wriggling your brows as he picked up your plate to wash, "I have my qualitys" he laughed you followed him to the kitchen.

"I'll dry them" you smiled picking up the kitchen towel as evan handed you the wet plate, drying them off placing them where they belong, you couldn't help but smile at the domestic action you could get used to it to be honest.

"Movie and wine?" Evan asked as you put away the last of the dishes, "sure" you smiled following him to the living room that's when you noticed a picture of a child with two older children, "aww is that you evan?" You asked taking in the picture "yeah me and my siblings I was probably around two years old" he chuckled.

"You look so adorable" you said Evan blushed at your comment, "that's probably the least embarrassing one I have" he said scratching the back of his neck, "you gotta show me them" you smiled evan seen your really embarrassing childhood pictures when he met your family so it's fair to see his.

"Fine" he sighed going to find the photo album his mom gave him, you sat on the sofa flicking through the movies till he came back with the album of his life, "found it I can believe I'm showing you these" evan laughed plopping down on the sofa beside you, "Oh come on evan they can't be that bad you seen mines they're incredibly embarrassing" you laughed along.

Evan flicked open the first photo, "this was when I was younger in one of the first movies I was in" he smiled "aww ev look at your hair" you beamed taking in the picture, "Oh this one is from when I did the sleepover" he said flicking through the other page, "my sister loved that movie when she younger" you laughed it was a behind the scenes picture evan holding a trainer bra the other cast members having bras on their head you let out a loud laugh.

Evan showed you some more photo's with their backstory you couldn't help but smile he hadn't really changed since then only got taller and a bit of facial hair, you couldn't help but stare at him, "what?" Evan chuckled closing the photo album looking at you, "nothing your just- your really handsome" you sighed running a hand through his dark locks.

Evan leaned into your touch with a smile, "and you are absolutely gorgeous" he hummed placing a kiss on your lips, what was meant to be a soft simple peck turned into a heated makeout session, his hand now under your shirt holding your waist.

A soft moan escaped your lips as his hand cupped your breast covered by your bra squeezing them, your hands started removing his sweater leaving his top half naked, "how about we go to the bedroom" evan mumbled breathlessly against your now swollen lips "mhmm" you nodded biting your bottom lip.

Evan picked you up bridal style to his bedroom kicking the door open with his foot, Stumbling into the bedroom throwing you on the bed, a loud laugh escaped your lips as your head hit the mattress evan crawled over you till you were face to face.

"Hi" he smiled pecking your lips, "hi" you bit your lip as he continued to trail his lips down your neck finding your sweet spot making you sigh, your hands tugged his locks making him groan against the skin on your neck, Evans hands began unbuttoning your shirt leaving you in your white lace bra, "fuck your so beautiful" he whispered his eyes drinking you up.

You grinned shrugging your shirt off your arms, tossing the fabric on the floor somewhere, you began removing his jeans pulling them down for him to kick them off "your turn" he smirked doing the same to your jeans discarding them off your body and accompanying the clothes on the floor.

You unclasped your bra as evan trailed his lips from your neck down your body, his lips finally made it to the hem of your panties his fingers hooked under the thin fabric pulling them down painfully slow, "evan please no teasing" you whined wriggling under his grasp.

"Now, now y/n be patient" he smirked throwing your underwear in the floor, evan placed soft kisses on each one of your thighs sending shivers down your spine your breath quickened with anticipation desperate for him to make his next move.

His fingers collected the arousal from your heat placing his finger in his mouth moaning at the taste pulling his finger out with a pop, "you taste so good" he hummed now facing your throbbing heat.

His lips connecting with your clit you let you a soft sigh as he kitten lick your sensitive nerves, his lips sucking on your bundle of nerves holding your legs apart giving him better access to you, your fingers gripped the white sheets under you for leverage constantly balling the fabric in your fists, evan still holding your legs spread so they wouldn't close around his head.

"Fuck evan don't stop" you moaned grinding against his face as his tongue darts your enterence his nose brushed on your clit, "Don't worry I won't" he chuckled at your desperation but he was just as desperate with a painful erection eager to feel you.

Evan inserted a finger into you his mouth attacking your clit once again as he pumped his finger in and out your pussy, "I'm close" you sighed feeling that knot in your stomach beginning to untie as evan added another finger inside you .

"Let go baby" he coaxed you to your high with a few more pumps of Evans finger and a flick of his tongue sent you over the edge your hands gripped the sheets also marking the palm of your hands.

Evan licked up every drop of your release your legs starting to shake from the overstimulation, evan pulled away licking his lips palming himself as you regained your breath, "you look so beautiful like that" he smiled coming back up to press his lips on yours.

Evan pulled away removing his boxers freeing his erection getting back on top of you, his lips were on your neck softly sucking the skin leaving more blueish marks there, his hand slithered down between your body's lining himself up with your entrance.

With once swift move he started pushing inside you, your hands gripped Evans shoulders your face scrunched up as evan stretched you out, both moaning in union as evan bottomed out   inside you.

"You alright baby?" He asked peppering your face with his lips all you could do was nod signalling him to move, evan started of in a slow and passionate pace his lips went from peppering your face to now on your lips lovingly, his hand guiding your leg over his waist the other supporting him.

"You feel so good" he mumbled against your lips "faster evan" you panted out evan didn't waste anytime granting your request thrusting faster, your moans only got louder the faster he went hitting that spot guaranteed to make you see stars.

"Right there don't stop" you moaned your nails scratched Evans back at the pleasure but he never cared evan was lost with you in the moment of intimacy.

Evan didn't stop the harsh thrust as he pounded into you, feeling that knot forming for a second time, "you close?" Evan asked also feeling the near of his sweet release, "mhmm" you nodded evan wrapping your legs high around his waist hitting a deeper angle.

"Fuck I'm cumming" you almost screamed your nails digging into Evans shoulders almost drawing blood as the waves of release washed over you, triggering Evan's own orgasm, "fuck" he moaned spilling his seed into you.

Evan rode out your highs heavy breathed, body's slick with sweat a glow to your skin, evan pulled out of you collapsing beside you his hand his chest collecting himself, you both laid there in silence you moved to snuggle up beside evan now feeling tired.

"Tired?" He asked looking down at you you gave a sleepy smile "yeah" your chin resting on his chest looking at him through your eyelashes, "I'll get you a towel get you clean up" he informed pulling away from your grasp and away to get a towel.

Your eyes started fluttering closed till you heard evan coming back from the bathroom, "Thank you" you smiled as he cleaned you up, "no problem" he smiled throwing the towel in the dirty laundry bag before coming back into bed placing a kiss on your lips, "Let's get some sleep" evan yawned pulling you closer to his embrace.

[ridiasfangirlings]

can you show off your K collection?

The whole collection, you say :D I have a lot, so under the cut so as not to clutter up everyone’s dash.

First: figures. The large military figures are from Alter and the slightly smaller Fushimi one is from Union Creative. The Alter ones are better quality but honestly I like the more dynamic pose of the UC figure better, there’s a matching Yata that I don’t own largely due to lack of space that’s very cool (however the UC Fushimi also has a truly terrifying alternate face…). The larger chibi figures are lottery prizes, I bought them separately in order to be sure I got what I wanted. I like the winter ones best, someday I need to get the Munakata from that set. The smaller figures are a Niitengo Deluxe set, I actually have a couple duplicates from this because I bought two sets. The ‘regular’ set had Mikoto and then there was a special set — I think it was an Animate exclusive? — that had Munakata along with alternate Fushimi and Yata figures. Then I have the teeny Shiro, Fushimi and Hisui which are keychains, I picked those up at a con (they didn’t have Yata which is why I ended up with Shiro and Hisui in there). 

Also on the figure end I have these little guys: K nendoroids! Wait, you may be wondering, I don’t remember any K nendoroids. That’s because we have no official ones (still mad about that!) so I had no choice but to make my own by modifying parts of existing nendoroids. The clothes were purchased from various places online.

Next is my full set of K nuis. It took a while to get all these, because when they released the ‘clansmen’ sets I only bought the Blue clan and then regretted it. And no, they didn’t make an official Niki nui, since I had extras I modified them. Hidaka, Benzai, Niki and Douhan are my own customs.

More plushies. I believe the larger ones were Sega prizes? I found Munakata and Fushimi being sold as a set online and then hunted down Yata later. The chubby birds are from the Chun Colle line, and of course I had to buy them their own (love) nest. The Saru cat had the clothes sold separately, I think the original listing showed them with a white cat but the black was all AmiAmi had at the time so I have black cat Saru. The Sarumi nuis are from the second release around ROK airing, they’re a bit different than the first release — a little less chubby with more scruffy hair. I have Munakata too, as you can see he’s…busy on top of my desk. 

Standees, because everyone needs a little anime boy on their desk. As you may notice, one of these things is not like the other. That’s right: Yata’s wearing bunny ears! Also Kuroh is there. At the time I bought the little Fushimi with the drink the cheapest one on sale had both Fushimi and Kuroh being sold as a set, so he’s here too. 

Speaking of standees, here’s a few more along with other lotto prizes. These were all from the specific Fan Clan lotteries, you had to be a member to draw. The big Fushimi picture and the water bottle were both grand prizes that I managed to win, so I got to choose my character for those (…don’t  ask how much I spent….). The Fushimi picture has hardware in the back that you can use to stand it up but it’s mostly hanging out hidden by my drawers because I don’t have space to display it right now. 

A few miscellaneous things. The Sarumi plate is official goods, the Akiben cup is a fan made product. The glass has Fushimi on one side and Munakata on the other though it’s hard to see, this was I believe also a lotto prize but I got it as a free gift from a shopping service. The pillows are also both official, the one on the left is the Kotobukiya dream cushion and yes I did buy the whole pillow just to use the Fushimi cover. The incredibly gay pillow featuring Fushimi touching himself while looking at a photo of Yata he’s pinned to his pillow is also, amazingly, 100% official merchandise.

Jumping around to some more official stuff, these are all my physical media. Missing Kings is actually the Japanese release, which has subtitles but no dub. It released before the US version even had a release date on the books so I bought the Japanese version instead (I don’t dislike the dub but dubs are also not something that’s a dealbreaker for me). I also have three stage plays — fun fact, the US and Japan are in the same region for blu ray — these are not subtitled. 

Novels (and a couple CDs). From the top left, we have the All Memories book, Case Files vol 2, Lost Small World, Idol K, the little short story booklet that came with the pre-MK S4 drama CD (with the glasses drama on it), the three anime adaptation books, the aforementioned drama CD and the Idol K CD. 

Next, manga. The top left corner is the K Poe Backs book, which has a bunch of mini first person comics of the cast seducing ‘you’ the reader. The top right is the K Maniacs book which is an official doujinshi book, it has no pairings but a lot of older Sarumi doujinshi artists are involved and Fushimi and Yata definitely dominate the book. I have the special Animate of editions of Gakuen K volume 3 and Missing Kings, because I liked the covers. The LSW books are all the special editions as well, the little booklet on the bottom right came with the final volume. The booklet between the two volumes of Days of Blue also came with that second volume and has the special Cherry Blossom Viewing chapter. (Meanwhile I just realized I don’t have Return of Kings….I need to buy that, I like the art.)

Some more random goods. The purse, hat and watch are all from Super Groupies collabs. I have the Super Groupies S4 wallet as well but it felt weird to take a picture of my own wallet (incidentally, if anyone sees the Super Groupies S4 earrings let me know, I didn’t have my ears pierced when they came out so I didn’t buy them and I want them now). The necklace was for Fushimi’s birthday, there’s a couple Yata ones that were made as well and another Fushimi one that’s blue but this is the only one I bought, it has a tiny S4 logo. The two tins are official teas that were made, the Homra one is my favorite of the two and is a pretty red. 

Some more clothes. I skipped most of the Super Groupies collab clothes for sizing reasons but these all fit and again, all are official. The shirts are from a collab with the brand Avail, they did shirts based off Shiro, Kuroh, Mikoto, Yata, Munakata and Fushimi. I have the Yata, Munakata and Fushimi ones, the puzzle piece S4 logo that’s Munakata’s is my favorite.

My wall o’ keychains. I actually have a lot of keychains on various purses so this is not all of them (I may have mentioned before that I’m also into lolita fashion so I have lots of purses, forgive me for not digging up all of them for keychain pics). The wall is missing a lot of Fushimi keychains though because they’re on my Fushimi ita bag. 

I’ll probably redo this at some point (I don’t really like backpacks so this doesn’t get worn much) but here’s a lot of my Fushimis that aren’t on other purses. I also have some new Sarumi ones I just bought, these are for the Sarumi ita bag I have in progress. This covers most of my collection, I also have a lot of posters and some magazines that aren’t convenient to get pictures of. This doesn’t count my, uh, extensive doujinshi collection either, just know that the bottom shelf and a half of my bookshelves is 90% Fushimi-centric doujinshi. I may be ever so slightly obsessed. 

[keelt9]

Chapter 8

Masterlist

It’s impressive the amount of love people have for the team. I was 4 blocks away when I already saw a lot of people walking with white, black and orange clothes, so I parked in the first empty space I found. 

When I entered the field, the team was in the middle of the warm up. I sit in the benches a little far away but closer where the wide receiver will be practicing. By the time they make a practice with the team complet it’s like being in a game, a lot of cheering, shouts and gasps in every play.

I’m not going to lie, my eyes are fully focused on the guy with the number 9 on his orange shirt.

Before the practice ends I lift from my place, I think my plan of giving him the hoodie must wait, there are so many people.

“Aye!” I was walking out of the field where you can still hear the shouts. “Please don’t tell me you’re already leaving.” 

Chase is walking with a bottle on his hand and his helmet on the top of his head. 

“I’m afraid I do. I have a flight to take.” He nods and notices the paper bag on my hand.

“I hope you bought another nice shirt.” I came wearing the t-shirt with the number 1. He has that child look of involvement.

“Actually, do you mind helping me with something?” He narrowed his eyes. “Just if you don’t get in trouble, of course.”

I told him my plan expecting a full rejection but surprisingly he clapped his hands and rubbed together. “Girl, the easiest thing in the world, count me in.” 

That’s how we ended in the corridor to the locker room, seeing no one came for any of the hallways.. 

“Ok, take your time, I will cover you.” I nod but still there is missing information for the mission. “Oh, right, Joe’s locker is at the back, last one to the right.” 

“Thank you so much.” He smiles and pushes me inside.

I feel like an invader in the locker room, and seeing underwear doesn't help me at all, so I ran to the back searching the name and number of Joe on the upper part until I found it. Clothes, pads and funny items split all over his place. 

I hung out the hoodie between his clothes, but when I looked inside of his locker I found a picture from the last time he was at my home, this one wasn’t any of the ones I gave him. I observe it closer to analyze carefully.

One night out of the blue he asked me to teach him the recipe of my mom brownies, now I understand why. He said it helps him to repeat every step if he records it, that was a half excuse. In the photo you can see me standing next to him, as he is pouring the mix “on” the mold, but his eyes weren't on the mixture falling from the border of it, his eyes were on me as I giggled for the mess in the kitchen.

The buzz of my phone makes me jump and bring me one more time to the earth, remembering where I am.

“Shit.” I whisper as I pick up my phone, it’s Pam.

“Please, tell me you haven’t arrived in Chicago?” She sounds breathless almost like she’s in the middle of a marathon.

“No, I’ll be there late at night.” I giggled as I heard her cursing for a man crossing on her way.

“Well, don’t be at home, long short story, you remember the editor from Spain? He has a quick stop in NYC, he wants to see us to sign the contract, the problem is he will just be there tomorrow, so we have to be there, like right now." Last time we were so close to signing a contract with them but unfortunately we couldn't, actually we believed that was one of our biggest regrets, until now.

“All, right, all right, you’re closer, go and I'll reach you am..” I look at my phone, 1 pm. “At night, to prepare everything else.” 

“That’s why I'm running to the airport, I will call you when I arrive, ok?” Rush but happy, I think it’s our feeling right now.

“See you tonight Pam.” I set Joe things just as they were and rushed to the exit.

I thank Chase and I apologize for leaving so quickly but abruptly I’m in an emergency from work. He, like Joe, invited me to the kick off here in Cincinnati but I told him I would be out on that date but I wish a good start of the season.

Like the roadrunner I say goodbye to Leah and my parents, grab my bags and rush to the airport where lucky me I found a seat for the next flight. 

I was waiting on line texting the good news to Lucy; I didn't have to ask because she said will take the first flight to NYC, too, when Joe's name appeared on the screen.

“Please tell me Chase is joking.” I heard in the background mumblings, loud voices but recognized the scream of Chase. 

“I’M NOT LYING!” I scoff as I imagine him a little far away but enough for hearing Joe complaining. 

“Where are you? I didn’t even know you were thinking about coming.” I’m getting closer to the entrance. 

“Because I didn't even know, it was a spontaneous decision.” Joe scoffed. “Hey, I have to hang out, I’m taking a plane, like right now. I’ll call you back, ok?”

The young woman smiled at me as I gave her my ticket.

“The hoodie is amazing, thank you.” I smile while putting my phone in my pocket after he hangs up. 

The fly was calm, I revised the contrac we´re going to give to the editor, checking even the small letters, as I promised I called Joe right away, waiting to get my bags.

We talked about his practice and he scolded me for not telling him I was there, he loved to see me even if it's just for a second.

“Do I have any chance for 4th of July?” These days we have a break before closing the tour of the book.

“Sorry Joe, my parents talked about going with Pete, so probably we'll be there.” I arrived at the hotel where Pam already made our reservations. “And don't, focus on your training all right, when all these are over, I'll go visit you.”

“Ok, ok, but promise me one thing?” The young boy helped me with my bags and closed the door. “Go to the game, any game.”

���Joe. I don't see the lines in the field.” He laughs. “I got the emotion of being in a game but it's easier for me to see the color lines on T.V  knowing what is happening.”

Still, it terrifies me to get involved in his world one more time with the risk he could shut me down in a blink of an eye.

“You'll be in my box, the best of two worlds.” I don't answer but he interprets that. “Just think about it, ok?” 

“I'll do it, I have to go, goodnight Joe.” I hear Pam knocking before entering my room.

She quickly ran and stuck to my phone too. “Keep drinking water and don't skip your meals.” He gives healthy advice from time to time..

Pam faked slipping to the floor, <Die of fondness> “That should be my advice.”  

“Night Y/N.” I heard him giggle before hanging out.

I see Pam, lifting from the floor with her face red, I roll my eyes as I help her to sit and start to work.

“How? How can you reject him so easily?” Pam opens her computer.

“It's not.” She put her hand over my papers. “It's not that easy, believe.” Pam hit the table full of excitement, before starting to work.

Months of endless work, the tour in the foreign was a success so by the time we started Lucy had a huge recognition, long lines of kids waiting for her, some interviews in T.V and radio along with good reviews.

Claire makes a quick stop in San Francisco, witnessing all our hard work.

“So proud of you.” Claire said to Pam and me as we stood at the back of Lucy who keeps singing books. 

“Make sure to spend a good time with your family next week.” Claire smiles before seeing the owner of the bookshop asking for a couple of minutes.

My phone buzzed, a text from Joe. He resumed his classes with my father now he had days of full rest; so he's been sending me a small video of his practice “asking for a second opinion.”

“Are you going to see him?” Pam winks at me as I try to relax my face from a big smile.

“No, we’re going with Peter.” Pam nods but I see her hand moving, she has something else to say. “What?” I look at her.

She cleared her throat. “You want to see him too.” She winks at me. “It's written on your face, but ok, good things come for the ones who waited.”

“Omg, that's so cheesy!” I shiver walking away too.

By the end of the week Lucy feels defeated too, not in a bad way, just tired and missing her boyfriend, the break of July suits us perfectly.

“Just make sure to send the information properly, please.” Peter doesn't let go that easily. Last time I flew on my way back home I texted him wrong the time and flight number.

“It was just one time, God!” Mom and dad arrived the day before, not before I asked for a special order at the coffee shop.

“You say that because you weren't the one who keeps asking for a flight that doesn’t even exist” The protest of Peter was interrupted by mom taking the phone of his home from his hands.

“Archie is searching for you, go.” I heard mom with her white lie. “Hello sweetie, your order was a successful delivery.”

I asked mom and dad for their special pie of fruits for Joe, one of his favorite desserts. “Thanks mom, I'll be there tomorrow morning all right?” The screams form Archie made us giggle

“This big kid wants to say something.” I was making my bags because with a late night flight, I could forget some things.

“Hi Aunt, just a quick reminder.” I laughed because I knew his reminder. “We have to go and see the fireworks on the beach, ok? Don't make excuses!” 

Like I promised, I double checked the information before sending it to Peter, with a small delay on the flight I will probably be landing in Sarasota at 1 am, so I text my family they shouldn’t be worried, I’ll call a cab to take me Peter home.

Leah called me when I texted her that I already landed. We invited her and her family to spend the 4th of July with us but her parents already had plans with her grandmother. 

“Yeah, I know but my parents insist I should be going with grandma. I mean I love her but I expect to at least remind wake up past 10 pm.” I giggle because usually she is the kind of person who likes to stay up really late at night.

“You could go out.” Leah scoffs, her grandparents live in the countryside.

“Yeah, the crickets sound like a hilarious company.” Both of us laugh and picture her alone in the middle of the night with the harmony of the crickets. 

“Hey, I’m hanging out. I have to pick my suitcase, looking for a cab and I’m exhausted.” The only thing on my mind is crash in the first fluffy space in Peter house.

“Ok, text me when you're in Peter house, all right? Love you.” 

As I pick up my suitcase I stop in the waiting room debating if I should risk and grab a cab falling asleep as soon as I sit  or I take the offer of dad and call him to pick me.

“Am, miss.” A young kid with brown hair pulled slightly from my bag. “This is for you.” She gave me a coffee and then ran away with her mother who just gave her hand to me.

I smell the coffee, nothing weird.

“It’s funny how you find old friends in the most random places.” Joe's voice made me jump and spill a few hot drops over my hand.

“Auch.” I change the coffee to my other hand for cleaning the hot coffee drops but Joe takes it first cleaning them with his t-shirt.

“That’s not how I planned.” I chuckle. “I’m sorry, are you alright?”

“What are you doing here?” I hug him carefully. I don't want a double burn. “You should be at home, resting.” 

Joe pressed me tight against him. It’s been more than 5 months since he saw me. 

“Hi.” He said as we split. “Finally I caught you.” 

I shake my head. “I’m talking seriously, you should be in your house.” The poor guy who is supposed to deliver the pie must spend a lot of time outside of an empty mansion.

“Why are you sending me home?” I searched on my phone for a photo of the pie and the small note I asked my mother to add on the top, so I can show it to him.

“You're supposed to be receiving this.” Joe sees the photo and looks at me.

“This is for me? So sweet, thank you.” I cover my face, the first time I try to do something “romantic” ends in a random guy enjoying a delicious pie. 

“Omg, unbelievable.” I grab my suitcase and walk away laughing about the ironic situation. 

Joe runs and grabs my hand and my suitcase walking to the exit. “You can compensate… that pie.” 

“That isn't what it is supposed to be.” He smiles and I see his cheeks turning red.

“You send it thinking about me.” The proud tone makes it hard to keep a serious face. “So I have an idea if you go with me.”

I struggle internally if my tiredness is bigger or I can use the energy this coffee could give me.

“It’s 1:45 of the morning.” Joe nods but doesn't speak, he won't change his mind. I take a sip of my coffee as we walk to the parking lot. “I will need more than a coffee.”

“Is that a yes?” Joe sees my eyes shining brightly.

This time I was the one who didn’t answer but interlaced my fingers with his, as I smiled at him. 

I give up, I reach the point of not returning.

[sayosdreams]

Picture Us (Together Forever)

Word Count: 26,115

ACOTAR masterlist

__________

TW: mentioned past homelessness, mentioned past abuse, referenced death & suicide

__________

A/N: For @simpingfornestaarcheron, one year late. A huge thank you to @bookstantrash for all your help with everything from brainstorming to beta reading and editing! You're the reason I actually managed to complete this fic. Credit @vidalinav for the 'Cassian's love is loud' concept, which is so ingrained in his character for me that I always end up including it.

I know I haven't posted anything for over a year and a half — I've been busy with college and have gotten into other fandoms — but I hope this long, fluffy fic makes up for my absence. Honestly, it's probably the fluffiest thing I'll ever write of this length. Also, the number of blocks in this post exceeded the Tumblr post limit, so I edited the paragraph layout to fit. The original version is posted on ao3. Please enjoy!

Present day

“Hey, sorry I got a little late,” Nesta announced as she stepped into the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, Cassian. “I got held up at work because some people apparently think my job is to do everything,” she explained as she took off her coat and undid her scarf. “Eris now seems to believe that I’m a secretary and that it’s my job to deal with all the parents who want to sign their kids up for lessons or have questions about our hours. Can you believe that Vassa expects me to cover Eris’ class next Tuesday during my lunch break because he ‘has to be out of town to go apple picking’? And then, to top it off, Briallyn came to talk to me about how some people want the rehearsals for The Firebird to be at a different time. Just because I’m one of the principal dancers doesn’t mean I coordinate the rehearsal times! I don’t know why she doesn’t just talk to the director or choreographer, honestly. It’s so-”

Nesta turned around and fell silent, her eyes widening as she took in the sight before her. The living room was decorated with candles and flowers. Rose petals were lined up on the floor, creating a walkway that led to the coffee table, which was covered in a white tablecloth. Behind the table stood Cassian, wearing a wine-red colored button-down shirt, black pants, and a soft smile. 

“Cassian?” she asked, her confusion evident in her tone. Had she forgotten some important occasion? Nesta quickly ran through the list in her head. But, no, it wasn’t either of their birthdays, or their anniversary, or Valentine’s Day… So why had Cassian done all this? Sure, he had given her flowers ‘just because’ or organized impromptu date nights before, but this was on a whole different level. “What’s going on?”

Cassian’s grin split into an open-toothed smile, even as intensity and slight nervousness swam in his eyes. “Nesta, we met five years ago in the line for tickets to the Bone Carver concert, when you yelled at me for letting my friends cut the line. I turned around to yell right back, and the moment I did, my life changed. You’ve made my life so much better, in so many ways I can’t even find the words to describe. Every day with you is like a dream come true. We’ve made so many fantastic memories together over the years.”

He pulled the tablecloth off the coffee table in a sweeping motion. Nesta inhaled sharply as she took in the collection of polaroid pictures, recalling different special moments in their relationship. The collection was decorated with small doodles that Cassian had clearly drawn himself. 

She sank down to her knees in front of the table. 

“Cassian…” Nesta whispered, “This is beautiful.” 

Her eyes drifted across the paper, until they came to rest on a single photo. Her hand reached out as if she wanted to caress the image, but floated just a hair’s breadth away from it like it was too precious to bear her touch. 

Cassian kneeled down too, and glanced down at the photo she was looking at. He laughed, “Oh, yes. The bookstore date, where you used me as a human bookshelf.”

The corners of Nesta’s lips turned up. “Listen, I just wanted you to know what you were really signing up for.”

Cassian chuckled.

__________

Five years ago

“Where are you taking me?” Nesta asked for the sixth time. 

Cassian once again responded by shushing her, his eyes fixed on the road. 

Nesta sighed. Cassian had somehow managed to drive without using a GPS (a novel feat for him) so she couldn’t even peek at it to figure out their destination. Cassian clearly hadn’t considered how impatient Nesta was when he’d decided to plan a surprise for her. 

Nesta knew she should just sit back in her seat, relax, and enjoy whatever Cassian wanted to surprise her with, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited — of course she was, and she was touched that Cassian had gone through all this effort just to plan a surprise for her. But Nesta couldn’t help but be filled with anxiety. She didn’t always react well to situations she was thrust into unexpectedly, and she wished she at least had a hint about where they were going so that she could prepare accordingly. She didn’t want to start freaking out and push Cassian away, destroying the tentative relationship they had just started to build. 

She trusted Cassian and knew he’d never intentionally put her in a situation that made her uncomfortable. They had met about three months ago and he’d asked her out soon after. Although they hadn’t made anything official yet, Cassian was always so caring and kind to her, more than any of her exes. He always made her laugh and brought her Earl Grey tea with just the right amount of 2% milk. He’d given her his scarf when he’d noticed that she was cold and had never asked for it back. He loved to play with her hair, creating intricate braids as his hands tenderly massaged her head. His body was honed from ice hockey training and he towered over her, and yet he had never once made her nervous or uncomfortable, even when they had been two strangers arguing in line. 

Still, there were many things that Nesta had yet to tell Cassian about. While his gentle sweetness was making her walls come down, bit by bit, she was struggling to open up fully. She didn’t want to risk scaring him away and ruining everything they’d created. 

All in all, she knew Cassian would never try to make her uncomfortable, but there were many things that could set her off that he didn’t know about. If she started freaking out, and she lost him… It was stupid of her to get so attached to someone so quickly. He wasn’t even her boyfriend, for gods’ sake! Only her closest friends knew they were together. They weren’t keeping their relationship a secret, exactly, but telling everyone would put pressure on their relationship that they weren’t ready for. 

Cassian’s best friend, Rhysand, was dating Nesta’s youngest sister, Feyre. The two of them had met on a dating app called Bond a couple weeks after Nesta and Cassian’s encounter. They’d fallen head over heels in love with each other, and had moved in together after just one month. Feyre kept texting the Archeron sisters’ group chat about how much she loved Rhys and how she wanted to marry him. 

Nesta and Cassian needed to take their relationship at their own pace — meaning much, much slower than Feyre and Rhys. If Nesta and Cassian made it official and then broke up later… well, Nesta didn’t want to have to deal with gossip and pitying glances whenever they were at the same place together on top of everything else. Plus, she knew her sisters were nosy romantics who would start asking about going on double dates, planning Nesta and Cassian’s wedding, and making lists of their future babies’ names. 

She couldn’t deal with all of that right now. When her last serious relationship had ended, she’d been left with bruises, a mountain of trust issues, and not much else. It had taken her a long time to put herself back out there again — to trust others with her body, much less her heart. Cassian had proved himself a worthy candidate, willing to be patient with her and put her at ease to help her let her guard down.

What it boiled down to was that she cared about him, far more than she probably should, and it scared the crap out of her. But she was even more afraid of losing him.

“Alright, we’re here!” Cassian’s voice cut through her spiraling thoughts. “Close your eyes.”

Nesta took off her seatbelt and did as he asked. Her heart beat erratically in her chest. She listened to the click of Cassian unbuckling his seatbelt and the boom of his car door shutting. A cold breeze hit her as her door opened. She felt Cassian’s large, calloused hand slide into hers, guiding her as she stepped out of the car. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked. 

“Mhmm,” she replied vaguely. 

A boom sounded, followed by a quick beep beep, indicating Cassian had locked the car.

“We’re almost there, I promise.”

He stood behind her and his hands came to rest on her shoulders, gently turning her to the right and then guiding her path. They walked in silence. Nesta was glad she’d thought to put on a sweater and a jacket as the chilly autumn wind swept past them again. 

Cassian suddenly stopped her and turned her body to the left. 

“Okay,” he said, leaning down to whisper in her ear. His breath was hot against her neck. She shivered. “We’re here.” 

She opened her eyes, and gasped. 

A blue sign with the words “Pegasus Book Company” hung above a blue-framed door. A bell chimed as she entered the shop. Pegasus Book Company was one of the hidden gems of Prythian. Despite being an independent bookstore, it was quite large and well-stocked in many different genres. They also displayed artwork from local artists, which they changed every season. Most of all, the owner, Helion Spell-Cleaver, was said to be amazing at giving book recommendations. Nesta had always wanted to visit Pegasus, but she’d never found the time to drive all the way to Hemera District just to visit one store. She had only mentioned it to Cassian once in the passing. She couldn’t believe that he’d remembered and done this for her. 

“Cassian…” She whispered, her voice full of awe and gratitude. She turned to find him with an uncharacteristically shy smile on his face. 

“Surprise,” he said softly. “Sorry that I made you wait to know where we were going. I wanted to surprise you, but I know I made you kind of nervous when I didn’t tell you where I was driving to. Is it ok? I’m sorry if it felt like I was abducting you. I just wanted to, uh, not ruin the surprise.”

Nesta couldn’t find the words to explain how happy his surprise had made her. Instead, she pressed her lips to his and let the kiss express her feelings. 

When they finally pulled apart, her lips formed a smile that she couldn’t suppress if she tried and she added a quiet and genuine “Thank you.” 

She hoped he could read the emotions in her voice and her eyes to understand how much the thoughtful gesture meant to her. His nervous ramble, while unnecessary given how fantastic the surprise was, just showed how much he cared about her. She didn’t know how to handle such affection and kindness. She felt as though she’d cry or melt or burst with everything he made her feel. He treated her as though she were precious and beautiful, worthy of compassion and care, like her company was a gift. As though she mattered.

Later, as he carried the numerous books she selected and listened attentively to her rants about different characters, books, and authors, she was overwhelmed by the pure joy she felt and some other emotion that it was far too soon for her to name. 

Cassian was special — she’d known it since the moment they’d met, when her sharpness had intrigued him rather than pushed him away. He was so perfect and amazing, and yet cared about her so much that she was still in disbelief. The dread that he would wake up one day and realize that she wasn’t worth the trouble was constantly present, and made her hesitant to give him her all for fear of him shattering her completely. 

But it was already too late. 

She wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all herself, by not putting a label on things. It didn’t change how much she cared about him or how she didn’t want to think about him ever leaving her life. It was only hurting her, and more importantly, him. Nesta knew that her fears and her trauma often made her struggle to express her emotions. She never wanted Cassian to doubt how much he meant to her. Yet, it always felt like Cassian was the one doing things for her: he was the one who had asked for her number, the one who usually texted first and planned their dates, and the one who gave her meaningful gifts and surprises. He never hesitated to show or tell her how much he cared. 

What if he didn’t know? She wondered suddenly. What if he genuinely thought that Nesta didn’t care as much — that their relationship didn’t mean as much to her as it did to him? The despair that the thought brought her was shocking in its intensity. 

So as Cassian sat down in the driver’s seat, ready to turn on the car, Nesta blurted out, “Wait!” 

He turned towards her, his face showing his surprise and concern. She acted instinctively, reaching over to pull his hands towards hers and then interlacing their fingers. She took a deep breath as she steeled her resolve. Cassian’s thumb slowly moved back and forth over her hand in a soothing gesture. He’d evidently noticed her nerves. His soft, silent support served to strengthen her determination that she had to do this. 

“Cassian, thank you so much for today,” she began. “It was such an amazing, thoughtful surprise. I really, really enjoyed it.” 

She paused, considering her next words.

“The past few months have been incredible. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you. And I-”

“Wait! Nesta, please don’t,” Cassian interrupted. His body had gone tense and his eyes were dull in a way she’d never seen before. His hands had grown sweaty in hers. 

Nesta felt her heart drop. It was too soon, wasn’t it? Oh, gods, what had she been thinking? She’d misread the whole situation. If Cassian had wanted to put a label on their relationship, he would have asked. It was incredibly selfish of her to assume that she was the only one who’d had hangups about it. He would also be put in an awkward situation with Rhys and Feyre. And really, she and Cassian had only known each other for three months. Why had she thought that she should do this? As usual, she was ruining everything by moving too fast and being too intense. 

Cassian continued, his voice choking up slightly, “I know I can be- it can be too much, but I promise, I’ll- we can- this can be whatever you want. We can talk about it and I’ll- I can reel it in. I mean, I’ll respect your boundaries and, uh, wishes and, just. Please, we don’t need to end this completely, just- I-”

He cut himself off as Nesta untangled one of her hands from his. 

“No, wait,” he rushed, his eyes widening in alarm, “if that’s what you really want, then of course I’ll respect it, I just wanted- but- I mean, can we at least stay fr-”

He was cut off again, this time by Nesta’s pointer finger pressing into his lips. 

“Cassian,” she said, in a strong, confident, and reassuring voice, “will you be my boyfriend?” 

His expression morphed instantly, shock and joy flitting over his face.

Nesta waited patiently, sitting in silence, awaiting his answer. She watched as Cassian’s free hand moved to his thigh, which he pinched more than once. Finally, he met her eyes. His mouth was barely curved upwards, as if he was too astonished and emotional to form a smile. 

“Yes,” he replied. 

Cassian’s hand came up to rest ever-so-gently on her cheek as their lips met for a kiss. As they continued to get lost in each other, kissing in the middle of the day in a car parked on the side of a street, Nesta knew that this was what all those fairytales and romance novels were made of.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe you actually thought I was going to break up with you,” Nesta laughed, shaking her head. “Right after I complimented you, too.”

Cassian shrugged. “It’s a foster kid thing,” he said lightly. “If someone’s being too nice, it just feels like they’re trying to let you down gently.” 

Nesta leaned across the table to press a kiss to his cheek in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. 

“I’m never going to leave you, stupid,” she said. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

Cassian smirked. “I sure hope so.” 

His eyes moved left to the next polaroid and his hand followed suit, coming to rest right above the image. 

“Do you remember that day?” he asked, tapping his pointer finger on the table. “I was so nervous.”

“What? Why were you nervous? I was the one performing!”

__________

Five years ago

“Do you think the tie is too tight?” Cassian asked, pacing in front of the bathroom mirror. “Did I do it wrong? Fuck, do you think it’s too colorful for a formal event? Maybe I should change it to black?”

“Breath, Cassian, breath,” Azriel replied, half-serious. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Az,” he pleaded.

“You look fine, Cassian. It’s going to go great. Don’t worry.”

Cassian was still fiddling with his tie. “And you don’t think the color is too much?” 

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “It’s burgundy.” 

Cassian continued to questioningly stare at Azriel.

Az sighed. “The color is fine. The tie is perfect.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. “Let’s get going.” 

“Oh, shit, are we late?” Cassian scrambled to grab his suit jacket, his keys, and his wallet. Where were those flowers he’d bought? “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spent so much time worrying about my fucking tie.” He could have sworn he’d left them on the dining table, but that was empty save for the collection of books, papers, and notebooks that Azriel had organized into neat piles. Cassian checked the kitchen counters, only to find them empty, too. Had he put them in his room? He really needed to get more organized. They were already getting late, and he was going to further delay them. “You know what, just let me- You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later, once I find the bouquet.” 

“Cassian. Cassian!” Azriel snapped his fingers. Cassian paused his frantic search to look at Azriel, who was carrying Cassian’s bouquet in his arms along with two others. “I’ve got it, see? Now, let’s go.” 

Before Cassian could open his mouth, Az added, “We’re not late, don’t worry.” 

As they entered Bryaxis Hall, where the performance was being held, Cassian expected to feel the last of his nerves disappear. 

As soon as he stepped inside, he realized how wrong he was. 

The hall was decadent. The ceiling was higher than a three-story house, the floor was marble with a simple yet elegant carpet running down the center, and Greco-roman pillars with intricate designs lined the hall. A chandelier hung above the grand staircase. The walls were decorated with high relief panels, each portraying a distinct myth or story. 

He followed Azriel up the stairs in silence. He was too consumed by the message every piece of architecture and decoration seemed to be yelling at him: he didn’t belong here. 

It wasn’t like he’d never been to a fancy party before: the NHL had plenty of galas, but even when he was surrounded by his teammates and friends, he always felt like a fraud in a suit. 

Cassian wasn’t meant for luxuries and refinement. He’d grown up dirt poor, even when his mother had still been around. After her death, he’d essentially lived out of a backpack. He’d even spent a few nights out on the streets when he’d been placed in particularly bad foster homes. Until he’d met Shirina, Rhysand’s mother, he had never even eaten chocolate — at least that he could remember. 

He’d only been to watch ballet once before. Shirina had insisted that they see the Nutcracker for Yule, as that had been a tradition in her family. Rhys, being the eleven-year-old that he was, had complained the whole way about being dragged there against his will. Ayla, Rhys’ younger sister, had grumbled about having to watch the Nutcracker again, instead of seeing something different like Swan Lake. Cassian had remained silent. At twelve, he didn’t want to admit that he was interested and excited, for fear of appearing uncool. Still, he was curious and was glad that Shirina had remained insistent despite her children’s protests. 

The ballet had enraptured him. He sat there, amazed by the graceful movements, the silent jumps, the whip-fast pirouettes, and the perfectly synchronized motions. 

Now, as he glanced down at the playbill, he felt completely unqualified to be here. He had no idea what La Bayadère was about — quite frankly, he wouldn’t even know how to pronounce it if Nesta hadn’t told him. He didn’t know any of the ballet terminology, either. How was he going to tell Nesta what he thought of the performance if he didn’t even know how to verbalize it? 

He glanced over at Azriel, hoping to gain some insight. Azriel was close friends with Nesta and two of Nesta’s ballerina friends, Gwyn and Emerie, who were also in tonight’s ballet. Right as Cassian was about to ask, the lights dimmed and the audience fell silent. 

Cassian worried whether he would be able to focus on the performance with all of his anxieties swirling around his head. Nesta deserved his full attention — she had been practicing for this for so long, and had poured her heart and soul into her ballet. There were so many times when she’d been late to dates, staying back in her studio to practice a move that she wanted to perfect. 

But Cassian needn’t have worried. The moment the ballet began, he was completely in its thrall. All his thoughts fled. He sat there, mesmerized, as the ballerinas danced. When Nesta entered, his breath caught in his throat. She was radiant on stage, looking like a goddess, a queen, and a warrior-princess all wrapped up in one. 

After the show, when he handed her the bouquet and told her how incredible she’d been on stage, her expression made it all worth it. Her cheeks, flushed with exhaustion, were rounded as her mouth split into a jubilant smile. Her eyes were awed, as if she was so grateful for his words and presence but couldn’t quite believe he was here. Despite all of his anxieties, he wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. 

And as Cassian drove home, he realized he couldn’t wait to see Nesta’s next ballet performance. 

__________

Present day

“It really did mean the world to me that you came, you know,” Nesta admitted. “And I was so nervous about what you’d think.”

“Of course I was impressed! Anyone in their right mind would be.” His comment was light. There was no need to mention that Nesta’s ex, Tomas, had considered her job to be a ‘useless passion’ that ‘should only be a hobby’. Both of them knew Tomas was a hateful piece of shit who had done his best to drag Nesta down, and were infinitely grateful that she’d gotten away from him. 

Nesta shot Cassian a small smile before turning back to the pictures.

“Oh! The snowball fight!” She snorted. “Don’t show this to Rhys and Az, we don’t want to remind them.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes, grinning. “They’re big babies.”

__________

Five years ago

Nesta turned around, startled, as someone tapped her shoulder. 

She had been shoveling snow for the last thirty minutes in the dim light of the rising sun. Normally, she loved lying around in bed on snowy days. She was content to sit inside, drinking hot chocolate, watching the world through the window and feeling as though she had been transported inside a snow globe. One of the few perks of living in an apartment was that she didn’t need to shovel snow. 

Last night, however, she had stayed over at Cassian’s townhouse. Cassian’s roommate, Azriel, had gone out, presumably to spend the night with someone. Nesta considered Az to be a friend, but he was extremely private; she had no idea if he was seeing someone, let alone who that someone might be.

Nesta turned around. 

Cassian was standing there, arms crossed, with one eyebrow raised. “Nesta, why didn’t you wake me up?” 

Nesta rolled her eyes and turned back around to keep shoveling. “You’re sore.”

She hadn’t expected to wake up to snow piled up almost five centimeters on the ground. It was the first snow of the winter, and she wanted nothing more than to watch the snow fall from the warmth of Cassian’s bed, curled up against her boyfriend. 

Then, she recalled the numerous bruises and cuts on Cassian’s body that she’d tended to yesterday. He had gotten thoroughly roughed up at his game, though when she’d remarked on it, he’d just laughed and replied that this didn’t even count as getting injured in ice hockey. Still, she’d seen him wincing as he reached to the left when he thought she wasn’t looking. 

So when she’d seen the snow this morning, she’d decided that, instead of going back to sleep, she would shovel the entire walkway and driveway before Cassian woke up. 

Clearly, she’d failed. 

“I’m fine!” Cassian replied, just as Nesta had anticipated. “I’m not-”

Nesta cut him off by shushing him. 

She had a little less than half the driveway left to shovel. She was adept at the art of ignoring someone trying to talk to you: after all, she’d grown up with two little sisters. So as Cassian continued to complain that he was not actually hurt and tried to convince her to hand over the shovel, she just tuned him out and focused on her task. She was making pretty good progress, in her opinion. Sure, her fingers were a little cold even in her gloves, but the desire to keep going and not let Cassian help at all motivated her. The spite kept her warm. 

She was almost a third way done when she heard coughing. She stopped abruptly and turned to Cassian, who was wiping snow off of his face.

Her eyes widened. “Oh my gods! I’m so sorry!” 

Cassian just laughed. “What, you didn’t mean to cover me in snow?”

He leaned down and grabbed a fist full of snow. “Let me show you a faster way to get rid of all this snow, sweetheart.” Nesta barely had time to duck before the snowball flew in her direction.

Abandoning the shovel, she ran away from him. Then, she made her own snowball, which she hid in her hand as she smiled at Cassian innocently. He smiled back and walked towards her until- Wham! Her snowball hit him square in the chest.

Nesta cheered. 

He gasped “Betrayal!” 

As she dodged his next snowball by a hair’s breadth, she stuck her tongue out at him. 

Her cold dissipated as their snowball fight continued. The progress she’d made on the driveway and walkway had definitely been ruined, but she found that she couldn’t care less. Twenty minutes later, when they went back inside, covered in snow, both of them were grinning ear to ear. 

It wasn’t until after they’d showered, changed, and were sipping hot chocolate that Cassian exclaimed, “Shit!” 

His drink sloshed, spilling out of his mug. Nesta took a large sip of her hot chocolate — it really did taste divine with marshmallows — and looked at him questioningly over the rim of her mug.

“You can’t tell Rhys,” Cassian pleaded. “He wouldn’t understand. We need to keep this a secret.”

“What, that I had a snowball fight with my boyfriend?” Nesta answered incredulously. 

Cassian’s face, however, was completely serious. “Yes.” 

“I wasn’t planning on telling him,” Nesta said, struggling not to laugh, “but now I’m curious to see what’ll happen, so…”

“No!” Cassian’s eyes went wide. “You see, every year, when it first snows, Rhys, Az, and I have a snowball fight. It’s a tradition we’ve had for years. If they find out that I had a snowball fight with you first…” Cassian shook his head, as if the possibilities were too horrific to even consider.

“So basically, you cheated on them with me?” A drop of hot chocolate spilled over and ran down the side of Nesta’s mug. She caught it with her finger, which she then brought to her lips.

Cassian’s eyes followed her finger. His Adam's apple bobbed as her finger left her mouth with a pop.

“I, uh, yeah.” He cleared his throat. 

She smirked. “Well, I haven’t told them, but I did tell Gwyn and Emerie in our group chat when they asked what I was up to, so Az is definitely going to find out.”

Cassian groaned, putting his face in his hands. Nesta just continued sipping her hot chocolate, laughing quietly.

__________

Present day

“They’re definitely going to hold that against us forever,” Cassian sighed. “They were so mad. That whole winter, I had to watch my back. They just kept pelting me with snowballs whenever they got the chance.” 

“It was hilarious,” Nesta grinned. Then, catching Cassian’s look, she corrected herself. “I mean, it was very terrifying.” She tried for a serious expression but failed, erupting into laughter.

Cassian rolled his eyes, but she could see the smile he was trying to suppress.

“You know what else they’re going to hold against me forever?” Nesta pointed at the polaroid right under the one they’d been looking at. “This. I think I almost gave them heart attacks.”

“Oh, yes. Now, that was hilarious,” Cassian agreed.

__________

Four years ago

Vroom.

Nesta pulled up to the front of the lane, right as the light turned red. Sighing, she raised her face shield. 

She turned to the right, glancing absently at the car in the lane next to her. It was a black Mercedes-Benz, the same car Rhysand owned. As she looked through the rolled-down driver’s seat window, she realized that it was literally the same car, because Rhys was the one driving.

She called out to him, and he turned towards her — then did a double take.

“You- wha- how are you driving Cassian’s motorcycle?” Rhys spluttered. 

Azriel’s head peeked out behind Rhys’. They sported matching shocked expressions, complete with comically wide eyes, raised eyebrows, and parted lips. 

Nesta smirked. “It’s quite easy, actually. I wasn’t sure how I’d do, since I’d never driven a motorcycle before but,” Nesta patted the handles, “she’s a smooth ride.”

That was not what they’d meant by their question. 

Cassian had always dreamed of owning a motorcycle. After going through his finances and realizing that he could afford one now without stretching himself out too thin, he’d finally bought one last week. 

The motorcycle was his prized possession and he was fiercely protective of it. He took the time to polish it after each ride, checking to make sure there wasn’t a single scratch on his treasure. Rhys and Az had been begging to ride it ever since he’d gotten it, but he’d starkly refused, claiming they were both too irresponsible. It was laughable, because Azriel was easily the most responsible member of their trio, but even he wasn’t allowed to do more than look at it. When Az had run a single finger across the paint, Cassian had pulled him away, declaring that Azriel was being too rough and that he clearly hadn’t thought about how the oils from his fingers would interact with the materials on the bike to shorten its lifespan. Azriel had pointed out that the motorcycle was meant to be ridden, but Cassian had ignored him. 

Of course it made sense that Cassian would be so overprotective of his motorcycle. He had never had many possessions. He hadn’t ever owned more than one pair of shoes until he was thirteen, when Shirina insisted on getting him snow boots and dress shoes. He’d replied, “But my sneakers still fit,” confused, and grew even more confused when Shirina wrapped him in a hug in response. 

A motorcycle was something he’d never realistically imagined being able to afford. He’d look at magazines and at the seniors who’d pull up to high school in the Harvey-Davidsons that their fathers had bought them, thinking about what kind of motorcycle he would have wanted if he’d been born to rich parents who were still alive. Now that his wildest dream had become reality, he would guard it to the best of his ability.

He knew that Rhys and Azriel would treasure it as well. They knew that he loved the bike and would never do anything to intentionally harm it. Yet, they had both grown up with money. They didn’t understand the instinct Cassian had to protect the little that was his, because they had grown up with so much to claim as their own. To them, possessions were replaceable. Despite the wealth Cassian had gained, he could never shake off the memory of being a child curled around a backpack as he slept on the street instead of covering himself with it for warmth because he was afraid it would get stolen. 

So when Cassian had casually offered to let Nesta try riding it, she was shocked to say the least. 

“Are you sure?” she’d asked about a hundred times, but his answer never changed. When she’d admitted that she had never ridden a motorcycle before, he had just replied, “I’m honored to be your first,” with a wink. He then took Nesta, who was blushing and rolling her eyes, outside to teach her the basics. 

“Alright,” he said with a clap, twenty minutes later. 

Nesta got off the bike, assuming he wanted to return it to its position in the garage. 

“Want to take it for a whirl?” he said instead.

She spun around to face him. “Really? But I… I wouldn’t want to damage your motorcycle. I know how important it is to you and, well, are you sure you want me to ride it?”

Cassian just shrugged, smiling. “No pressure, of course, if you’d rather not ride a motorcycle, but I’d love for you to try.” Something shifted in his eyes as he said, “I’d love to share it with you.”

Nesta blinked. She had grown up very differently from Cassian. She’d been born into a wealthy, upper-class family that later lost its wealth when her father got laid off and her mother fell ill. The medical bills piled up as her father searched in vain for work during a recession, and once her mother passed away, her father fell into the arms of alcoholic depression. Luckily, Nesta had enough training and experience by that point to gain a scholarship to her ballet school. 

So while Nesta had experienced poverty, it was never in the way that Cassian had. She could only understand Cassian’s desperation to hold on to his possession on an intellectual level. 

She didn’t know why he would trust her with something so precious.

“Of course I trust you,” Cassian added, as though he’d read her mind. He kissed her on the forehead, as if to say ‘you’re precious to me’. Nesta closed her eyes. 

“Um,” she whispered, then cleared her throat to continue in a stronger voice, “I’d be honored.” Then, she glanced down at the dress she was wearing. “Maybe tomorrow?” she added.

Cassian laughed that hearty, deep laugh that always made her heart clench. “Can’t wait, sweetheart.”

So here she was, the next day, riding Cassian’s motorcycle. She’d been sure to dress more appropriately in her leather pants, jacket, and boots. She asked Cassian to confirm that her outfit was ok, just to make sure. He hummed approvingly as she spun around.

He then sat her down, and put on her elbow pads and knee pads on her. If it had been anyone else, she would have complained incessantly about being treated like a child; because it was Cassian, who touched her so tenderly as he adjusted the straps, she couldn’t feel anything except gratitude and joy. 

“Ready?” He asked as she sat down on the bike. She gave him a thumbs up as he took a step back, gazing as though he was an artist who was looking at the tableau he’d painted. Dressed all in black, atop a black motorcycle, Nesta felt like she cut quite the figure. She felt powerful, as though she could do anything. 

She turned on the engine and was about to get going when Cassian shouted, “Wait!” and ran over to her. She paused, looking up at Cassian as he ran over to her and lifted her face shield. 

He kissed her, hard, and she melted into it. When he pulled away, she sat there for a moment, dazed. She brought a hand to her lips and continued to stare at Cassian. His parted lips were dark red, stained with her lipstick. 

She took a deep breath, blinking a few times to regain her focus and dispel all the images of a naked Cassian from her mind. She pulled down her face shield, revved the motorcycle, and set off. 

“But- how did you get Cass to agree to let you ride his bike?” Azriel asked, astounded.

Nesta shrugged, grinning. “What, like it’s hard?”

She zoomed off as the light turned green, leaving Rhys and Az in the dust with their mouths hanging wide open. 

__________

Present day

“I’ll cherish that moment forever,” Nesta laughed. 

Cassian grinned back at her, then pointed to a picture in the bottom row. 

“You know what I’ll cherish forever? This one.”

Nesta looked at it and sighed. “Great, now mine seems shallow. Why do you have to be so kind and thoughtful?”

“I’ll try to stop.”

“That would be much appreciated.”

__________

Four years ago

Cheers filled the rink.

“GO DRAKON!” yelled the girl sitting right next to Nesta.

Emerie, who was sitting on her other side, held back a hissing Nesta by grabbing both her shoulders. 

“That was ridiculous,” Nesta said through clenched teeth. “Why isn’t the ref saying anything? That was definitely a foul!” 

“It was a beautiful goal,” Rhysand corrected.

Nesta’s fiery glare turned to him and he withered as she snapped, “Whose side are you on?”

It was Nesta’s first time being at Cassian’s game. Of course, she’d seen his games on TV before, but both of them had agreed that she should wait before attending a game and being in the presence of all his fans and the media. Now that they had been officially dating for over a year, they’d both felt it was time. Nesta’s best friends, Gwyn and Emerie, had decided to accompany her. They had both claimed that they just wanted to watch the game, but she knew that they really were there to provide her with moral support.

Sadly, Cassian’s team — the Velaris Ghost Leopards — was currently losing 4-2 to the Adriata Sirens. Nesta, who never followed ice hockey closely until meeting Cassian, had been yelling up a storm as passionately as any long-time die-hard Ghost Leopards fan. They were about halfway through the third period and any hope that the Ghost Leopards could win was slowly disappearing. Especially as Jurian Zbirak, the Sirens’ center, passed discreetly to Varian Ulwandle, the left winger who was famously good at scoring. 

“I can’t watch,” Gwyn grimaced as Varian got past the Ghost Leopards’ defenceman, Andras Lupo. The crowd held their breath as Varian took the shot and- 

“Saved!” Emerie yelled as Rhysand let out a whoop. 

Thesan Vu, the Ghost Leopards’ goalie, had managed to save it beautifully.

Nesta gasped loudly as Kallias Neve, the Ghost Leopards’ center, took the puck and skated forward. Unfortunately, the other team’s defense was extremely strong, and caught sight of him almost immediately. Kallias cut sharply to the left, but the defenseman Eris Vanserra quickly shifted positions to block him. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Nesta chanted. Emerie was biting her nails anxiously next to her and Azriel was covering his mouth with his hands.

Kallias tried to deke Eris by feigning left and then cutting right, but Eris had seen through his tricks and was about to steal the puck when- 

Nesta jumped out of her seat. “Look!”

Kallias had managed to trick Eris after all. He’d drop passed the puck to Cassian, who was now zooming towards the goal. By the time Eris and Devlon Lyons, the other Sirens defenseman, realized and headed for Cassian, it was already too late. 

Nesta held her breath as Cassian got into position, took the shot and- 

“He scored!” Nesta cheered at the top of her lungs. 

Her throat was definitely going to be sore tomorrow but she didn’t even care. 

She watched as Cassian lit up with glee and his teammates congratulated him. This was why she cheered so hard, why she cared so much about the sport. It wasn’t as though she’d magically become obsessed with ice hockey when she’d met Cassian. No, it was the joy that the sport brought him and the way he put his heart and soul into it — giving it his all at every game, every training, every play — that made her passionate about it. Cassian worked so incredibly hard at hockey and it was such a big part of his life. How could something so important to him not be important to her, too? 

Cassian’s eyes locked on hers. Nesta froze. 

He brought his left hand to his lips and blew her a kiss. 

The crowd went wild as Cassian’s fans assumed he’d blown it to them. But Nesta could only sit down, dazed. She didn’t know why she felt so shocked that her boyfriend had blown her a kiss. They’d done far more than kiss, for gods’ sake. Perhaps it was because it had been in front of everyone, like Cassian was declaring his affection for her publicly and showing that he wasn’t ashamed of being with her. Or maybe it was the fact that he’d thought of her in the middle of a game, as though he never stopped thinking about her, even when he was singularly focused on ice hockey.

Emerie elbowed Nesta in the ribs and stage-whispered, “Your face is red, you know.” 

“Shut up,” was Nesta’s dignified response.

With five minutes left in the period, the Sirens held control of the puck.

“Are they just wasting time, trying to run out the clock?” Nesta huffed. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”

Drakon Aliyev — the Sirens’ right winger — kept passing back and forth with the Jurian and Varian, barely moving forward. 

“C’mon!” Rhysand jeered. 

Suddenly, with thirty seconds left on the clock, Jurian sped forward. He weaved between Ghost Leopards’ players, dodging and deking them. 

Twenty seconds. 

Andras closed in on Jurian, but Jurian back passed to Drakon right before Andras caught up to him. Drakon skated past them, zigzagging to avoid the other players who attempted to catch up to him. 

Ten seconds.

As Lucien — the Ghost Leopards’ other defenseman — moved in to body-check him, Drakon made eye contact with Varian, who had skated forward and was completely open. Drakon turned towards Varian, leaning his left shoulder down to pass to him.

Five seconds. 

Lucien shifted to guard Drakon’s right side, blocking him from passing to Varian. 

Four.

Drakon turned his hockey stick, which was on the left of the puck, to position it behind the puck, and aimed at the goal. Lucien scrambled to move back to his previous position in front of Drakon. 

Three. 

Drakon’s stick hit the puck, taking a strong shot. It flew through the middle of Lucien’s legs, headed straight towards the goal.

Two. 

Thesan shifted his stick and crouched down, moving into position to block the puck. 

One.

The puck landed on the ice a hair’s breadth in front of Thesan and slid through the small gap between his stick and his foot, straight into the goal.

Zero.

The crowd erupted into cheers and shouts. 

Nesta was chief among them. “What? That’s crazy! The puck was not completely over the line before the buzzer! Why the fuck are they counting it?” 

“It actually was,” Rhysand replied. “Wasn’t it an amazing buzzer beater, Az?”

Nesta was fuming. “What? Were you even watching the game? About a third of the puck hadn’t crossed the line! Don’t you agree, Az?” 

Az looked between them with wide eyes and then wisely chose to say, “Hey, why don’t we try to go catch Cassian before he has to go to the changing room?” 

Nesta was still grumbling as they walked up to where Cassian was talking to his teammates.

Azriel tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around, his disappointed frown turning into a friendly smile. Then, his eyes landed on Nesta and his expression softened. 

Nesta peered up at him and sent him a small smile. But a second later, she resumed her muttering, hissing under her breath, “I can’t fucking believe the refs don’t give a shit about the Sirens’ blatant cheating.”

Rhysand, who was standing right next to Nesta, groaned loudly. Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. “This one,” Rhys began, tilting his head towards Nesta, “hasn’t stopped complaining about the Sirens and the refs.” He rolled his eyes, exasperated. “They didn’t fucking cheat, Nesta. They won. Just accept it and move on.” He turned to Cassian with a glance that said ‘urg, can you believe her?’ 

Unfortunately for Rhysand, he was not met with the sympathetic backup he’d anticipated from Cassian. Instead, Cassian’s face split into a huge grin that only widened when Nesta retorted, “Well, it’s true! I swear the puck wasn’t fully over the line when I heard the buzzer. The refs were definitely biased, because they called the Ghost Leopards’ offsides in period 1 but not any of the Sirens’ fouls!” 

He let out a breathy laugh as wonder and joy lit up his eyes. He enveloped Nesta with his arms, burying his smile in her hair. 

Time froze.

Their eyes closed like camera shutters as they stood still, taking in the moment and committing it to memory. They were both silent, too overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions.

An eternity later, Cassian broke the silence, whispering “Thank you” into Nesta’s neck. He let her go, but not before pressing a kiss against her cheek.

__________

Present day

“You know, it meant the world to me to see that you defended me so fiercely.” Cassian’s tone was sincere but still light, as one could only be with those whom they’d been vulnerable with many times before. “To know that you cared so much about me… well. It’s not like no one cared about me before, you know, obviously I had Rhys and Az and stuff, but I still struggled with really believing that people could care about me — that I could matter to people. That moment… Of course it didn’t completely ‘fix’ me,” Cassian made air quotes with his fingers, “but I think that’s when it really clicked and I realized that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you — that I mattered to you, too.”

Nesta swallowed, realizing that she was choking up, which was extremely uncharacteristic of her. The closest she usually got to crying was when she read about fictional characters, and even then she almost never felt tears welling up as they were now. 

“I love you,” Nesta answered quietly. It was the truth, plain and simple. “You matter to me, and you always have.”

“I love you too,” Cassian answered. His hand reached out to cover hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

A moment later, he pointed to another polaroid in the bottom row. 

“This one was next, right?”

“Yeah,” Nesta said, her eyes twinkling as she reminisced. “Those views were so worth it, but damn, I don’t think I’ve ever been as tired and sore.”

Cassian smirked. “Oh really? Not even-”

“Nope,” Nesta interrupted with a smirk of her own.

Cassian blinked, as though her reply had genuinely shocked him. Once he recovered, he answered, “Well, we’ll have to change that, won’t we?” 

He winked. 

Nesta rolled her eyes, but brought a hand to cheek to cover what she assumed was her rather obvious blush. 

__________

Four years ago

“Are you sure you don’t need to drink more water?” Cassian asked again.

“Yes, Cassian, I’m just as sure as I was when you asked me two seconds ago,” Nesta replied, a small smile on her lips despite her slight irritation at his repetitive questioning. Nesta would never in a million years admit that she liked Cassian’s coddling, but in truth she did enjoy knowing how much he cared. 

They’d decided to get away from the city for a week to go on the backpacking trip they’d been talking about for months now. Miraculously, Cassian’s off-season had aligned perfectly with Nesta’s and they intended to make full use of it. 

Initially, they had considered inviting some of their friends and family to join them on a hike to a different location, but after Nesta’s argument with Rhysand over reproductive freedoms dissolved into an intense shouting match with personal attacks, Cassian had decided to limit the trip to just the two of them. He’d hoped to give them some space from each other to help them cool off. 

There was also an additional reason he had decided not to invite anyone else — most notably Rhysand — that he hadn’t told Nesta. The day after the row, Cassian had gone to see Rhysand, hoping to help clear the air. Instead of being regretful and guilty, Rhysand had been stubborn, claiming that Nesta was the only one who needed to apologize. He called Nesta a “vicious bitch”, saying that he didn’t know why Cassian would want to be with such a “fucked up person who clearly had way too many issues” and “only wanted Cassian for the money and fame”. When he laughed, “The sex must be really good for you to put up with her,” spitting out the last word as though Nesta was the scum of the Earth who wasn’t even worthy of being named by Rhysand, Cassian had exploded. 

He’d completely lost it, snarling and hurling insults at Rhys. He’d yelled that Rhys was clearly so insecure that he couldn’t accept when he was wrong and had to tear others down to try to fix his fragile ego. 

“Maybe you want to pretend you’re perfect because you don’t know how to love people, flaws and all,” Cassian had hissed. “So yeah, Nesta might have some ‘issues’ but so do I. And guess what? That’s fine. We still care about each other, for real. Unlike you, we don’t feel the need to lie about who we are. At least our relationship is real and is based on honesty and truth.” 

It had been a low blow, to allude to his previous relationships. Rhys had dated Amarantha, a wealthy actress and politician’s daughter, at his parents’ request back when Rhys’ dad, Hadrian, was still running the conglomerate called Night Court Corporations which was later passed down to Rhys. This had been both a PR stunt, which showed rivals just how strong and influential their family was and distracted the media from Ayla’s underage drunk driving, and a way to gain Amarantha’s father’s support in giving Night Court Corporations a tax break. Their relationship had been faker than Amarantha’s tan. 

His only real relationship before Feyre had been with Carmella, a girl who worked at a coffee shop he used to frequent, although calling it ‘real’ was a stretch, as Rhysand had lied to her about his family and his past. They had dated for almost a year, and Az and Cassian had met the poor girl numerous times, but Rhysand had insisted that he would keep being ‘Reese, son of an office worker’ when he was with her in order to avoid ‘getting used’. 

So yes, the comment had been mean and Cassian had felt slightly guilty about it, despite it being true. 

But then, Rhys had retorted, “Real? Please, Cassian, I can’t believe that you can’t see through her! She doesn’t ‘care about you’ or whatever, she only cares about the money, just like everybody else like her!”

Cassian’s eyes had narrowed and he’d slowly bit out, “Like her? What do you mean by that?”

His eyes had flashed with rage and pain, because he’d known exactly what Rhysand meant. 

His suspicions were confirmed when Rhys’ expression had twitched. He’d meant people who weren’t as famous, as well-to-do, as wealthy. People who didn’t have a trust fund or a summer house or extra cars. People who couldn’t take vacations or make big purchases without saving up first. People who couldn’t say ‘money isn’t a problem’. People like Nesta who had to have side jobs in addition to their main one just to be able to afford rent in a city like Velaris. And people like Cassian, for whom even food and housing and safety had never been a guarantee, let alone new clothing or vacations. 

Rhysand had just implied that Cassian had never cared about Rhysand or Shirina or Ayla or Hadrian. That Cassian had only been with them for the money and that all the love he had for them was fake. 

Rhysand stayed silent.

Cassian repeated, “What do you mean, Rhys?”

“Look, I didn’t mean to offend you. It wasn’t about- I’m just trying to help you! She doesn’t actually care.” At Cassian’s murderous glare, he amended, “And even if she does, she doesn’t deserve you! I’m just trying to rescue you, man.”

“Rescue me?” Cassian laughed, coldly. “I’m not some semi-homeless kid anymore. I don’t need a fucking hero to save me. Maybe you want to think I’m some helpless victim because you can’t stand the fact that I’m finally happy and I don’t need you anymore. How are you going to feed your savior complex now?”

Rhysand scoffed, glaring down at him as though Cassian were a peasant and he were a god. It only served to fuel the cold flames of Cassian’s anger.

“Or maybe you don’t like that I’m succeeding,” Cassian said, his voice quiet and dangerous. “You don’t like that I’m rich and famous and I did it all on my own. I worked hard and got here and I’m only gonna keep rising. Who are you gonna look down at now to remind yourself just what a special little boy you are?”

Rhysand rolled his eyes. “Rich? Please, Cassian, you’re doing okay, but you could never be as rich as me. And all on your own? Need I remind you that I gave you a house and food and clothes? I paid for your hockey gear and for chauffeurs to drive you to games. You worked hard, sure, but so did I. We’re the same, so stop trying to act like you’re any better than me.”

“Aww, did I hurt your fragile little ego?” Cassian pouted mockingly. “You know that you didn’t do any of that, right? Shirina and Hadrian paid for all those things. And yes, they helped me, but at least I got my job because of skill and hard work. You got yours because you were born a boy. We’re not the same and we’ll never be.”

“You’re right,” Rhysand replied coolly. “We’re not the same. I don’t know why I ever bothered to pretend otherwise.”

Cassian had stormed out, tossing a “By the way, it’s called a taxi, not a chauffeur!” over his shoulder as he exited.

Admittedly, it had not been his best comeback.

After that incident, Cassian had decided not to speak to Rhys for a while, let alone invite him on any trips.

As they hiked up the hilly landscape, Cassian was grateful he’d decided to spend this time alone with Nesta instead. Somehow, the whole trip felt so much more meaningful with her by his side, like this was a glimpse at the life they were building together. 

“Gods, my legs are definitely going to hurt after today,” Nesta mumbled as they hiked up an especially steep section.

“Are you okay? Do you want to take a break- or should I carry you?” Cassian hurriedly replied. 

Nesta just laughed, staring pointedly at his backpack. “Literally how?”

Cassian gestured to his front. “You doubt my strength?”

“Yes,” Nesta teased, sticking her tongue out at him before speed walking ahead. 

“Wait up!”

Each night, they shared a tent. Despite starting out in sleeping bags on separate mattress pads, they always ended up cuddling together, supposedly for warmth. A couple nights in, Nesta figured out how to zip their sleeping bags together to create a single larger sleeping bag, whispering “Oh no, there’s only one bed!” as she did so. 

Every morning, Cassian would wake Nesta up with a kiss to her cheek. She’d always scrunch her face and groggily mutter, “No, don’t do that, I’m disgusting.”

“You could never be disgusting, sweetheart,” Cassian would reply, prompting Nesta to open her eyes only to roll them at him. 

When they finally arrived at Windhaven Overlook, their destination, they spent a day admiring the views and having a small picnic. 

“Thanks for bringing me here,” Nesta said, resting her head on Cassian’s shoulder. “It means a lot that you’d want to share this with me.”

Cassian kissed her forehead in response. 

He had been to this spot only twice before, but it was still one of the most important locations for him. 

The first time, Enalius had brought him here. Enalius was a man close to Cassian’s heart. They’d first met when Enalius approached Cassian, whose face was glued to a window, watching an ice hockey team practice. Cassian had snuck into the skating rink for warmth and to use the vending machines and the water fountains, but had let his guard down, enthralled by the skaters. 

“Are you spying on them?” were the first words out of Enalius’ mouth. 

“What? NO!” Cassian had tried to run, but Enalius clasped his shoulder with a strong arm. 

“Really? What team do you play for?”

“I don’t play hockey!” 

At that, Enalius had frowned. “Really? That’s a shame. I think you might be good at it. Why don’t you ask your parents to sign you up for a class sometime?” 

Cassian’s eyes had dropped to the floor. “No, that’s okay.”

“C’mon, now,” Enalius had tried again. “I’m sure you could be better than those boys in no time.”

“I’ve never even skated before.”

Enalius raised an eyebrow as Cassian furiously backtracked, realizing that he’d basically admitted he’d snuck in. 

“Uh, I mean, I’ve never skated in, uh, hockey rinks with, uh-”

Enalius smiled. “Don’t worry, kid.” He looked Cassian up and down once more and sighed, “Are you sure you don’t want to give it a try? You’ll never know what it’s like until you give it a go.”

Cassian shrugged.

“Well, if you ever think you want to, just tell the lady at the counter over there that Enalius Ramiel told you to sign up for a lesson with him, okay? And get your parents to sign all the release forms and stuff.”

“Oh, they, uh, can’t do that.”

Enalius cocked his head. “Should I talk to them? Don’t worry, lessons aren’t actually that expensive, and I’ll give you a little discount.”

“No, um, you can’t talk to them,” Cassian mumbled uncomfortably.

Enalius took a step back. “Sorry kid, didn’t mean to pressure you. Lemme know if you ever want me to talk to your parents or anything.”

As Enalius started to turn around, Cassian was suddenly caught by a panic and blurted, “You can’t talk to them ’cause they’re dead.” 

Enalius froze. 

“Oh,” he said after a moment. “I see.” 

He studied Cassian’s face for a moment and then grabbed his hand, power-walking towards the check-in counter. They cut to the front of a long line of people as Enalius flashed a badge.

“Hey, Val, can we book rink 3 for a private lesson?” Enalius asked the lady at the counter with a grin. 

“Sure, when do you want to schedule it for?” 

“Now.” 

Val raised her eyebrows. “Now? Are you joking?” 

Enalius shook his head. 

Val just sighed. “Fine, but I don’t think the ice has been refreshed in a while. Also, it’s booked after 5:30, so you’ve got a little less than an hour.”

“Thanks, Val, you’re the best.” Then, he turned to Cassian. “What size are your feet?” 

“Um… 6?” Cassian guessed, rounding up a size from his current too-small sneakers. 

“A pair of size 6 hockey skate rentals, too,” Enalius added. “Put it all on my tab.”

Then, he leaned in to whisper something Cassian couldn’t hear, which made Val sigh, “Oh, Ali, I hope you know what you’re doing.” 

The next hour had changed Cassian's life. He’d started out wobbling, barely staying vertical and walking instead of skating on the ice. By the end, he was gliding effortlessly, skating around and in between the cones Enalius set up. He fell in love with ice skating. 

So Cassian returned, day after day, getting free private lessons from Enalius, and he soon became enamored by ice hockey, too.

Enalius became Cassian’s mentor, not only teaching him hockey but also buying Cassian snacks or dinner and making sure he got back safely. It was Enalius who later introduced Shirina, his childhood friend, to Cassian, further changing his life.

It wasn’t until much later that Cassian learned what a famous and successful hockey player Enalius was. Enalius remained Cassian’s coach right until he joined the NHL himself.

There were few people who were as important to Cassian as Enalius. And that was why this place that Enalius had brought him to years ago was so special to Cassian. 

Shirina, Hadrian, Rhysand, and Ayla had decided to go abroad and travel alongside some cousins during fall break. Enalius had overheard Shirina hesitating about leaving Cassian home alone for the week and had offered to take him on a trip of their own. Cassian, who had never been on a trip as far as he was aware of, was ecstatic and it did not disappoint. It became one of Cassian’s best memories.

The second time he came to this spot was after Shirina’s death. Rhysand and Ayla had been inconsolable, each grieving in their own way: Rhysand never spent a moment alone, as though he could bury his feelings in the high of socializing and parties, while Ayla barely spoke or even left her room. Hadrian was trying his best to keep it together, but was clearly in way over his head — managing the children and their emotions had always been Shirina’s department, not his. Luckily, their extended family had flown into town to help them all. Friends and acquaintances had reached out, trying to find ways to support them through all the grief. 

Cassian, who couldn’t really be classified as a friend or family to Shirina, had been overlooked. It wasn’t like he expected anything different, but watching everyone comforting each other and ignoring him hurt. It was as though he had no right to grieve — to be this hurt by her death — and maybe he didn’t, but she had been the closest thing he’d had to a parent since he’d been 5 years old. He’d loved her, too. No, he wasn’t her child, but he was something to her, even if it couldn’t be labeled so easily. 

Now she was gone and whatever they had been was erased. It didn’t matter that he’d used his first paycheck to buy her a birthday present, or that she had attended all his home NHL games, or that they’d often go on walks together. It didn’t matter that she always knew when he needed a hug or that she’d taught him how to cook. 

Cassian had decided to hike to Windhaven Overpass to get out of his own head. 

The journey had helped him to process his emotions. The sunsets and the plant life around him had seemed far more beautiful that time, reminding him of how much Shirina had loved nature. At night, the stars seemed brighter than normal, and he recalled Shirina explaining to him that in her culture, stars were considered to be ancestral and guardian spirits looking down at you and guiding you. 

Cassian felt like Shirina had been there, watching him from the sky and reaching out with a comforting hand as he struggled. That trip, he had gotten angry and laughed joylessly and sobbed. He’d felt empty and about to explode at the same time. He had gotten to be something different from the strong, smiling version of himself that he usually presented to the public. In the end, the trip had helped him find some sort of closure and peace with Shirina’s death.

Now, Cassian had brought Nesta here.

He had told her about his prior trips with Windhaven and what the location meant to him, but actually bringing her here was a sign that Cassian was willing to be vulnerable with her. 

He had always feared people would leave him and that he was replaceable, and worried about tainting such a special place with memories of someone who would later leave his life. 

And yet, Cassian had brought her here.

“This spot is important to me, Nes, and so are you,” Cassian said. “Thank you for coming. It’s my honor to be here, with you.”

He didn’t say: ‘I’m not worried about bringing you here because what we have is different — it’s meant to last.’

He didn’t say: ‘You’re the only person I’ve ever cared about enough to let myself be vulnerable like this with — you could destroy me, but I’m willing to take that chance.’

He didn’t say: ‘I love you.’

And yet, that was what they both heard.

__________

Present day

“I knew you were in love with me the second you invited me on that trip,” Nesta smirked. 

“Sweetheart, I was gone for you way before then,” Cassian laughed. 

“That’s true,” she grinned. “You had an embarrassingly massive crush on me for the longest time. And you must’ve loved me a whole lot to let me get away with making Rhys grovel like that.”

“First of all, get your facts straight: I still have an embarrassingly massive crush on you,” he replied. “And secondly, well, Rhys deserved it and also it was really entertaining to watch.”

The day after they’d gotten back, Rhysand had sent Cassian and Nesta a long message, asking them to meet up so that he could apologize in person. Nesta decided that they should talk to Rhys separately. 

Cassian went first. Rhys apologized profusely for all the names he’d called Nesta, for all the things he’d implied about Cassian, and for all the insults. Cassian in turn apologized for his part, and the two of them had a chat in which Rhys admitted that he’d acted like an entitled prick and that he was genuinely sorry. They made up and quickly forgave each other, like the pseudo-brothers they were.

Nesta and Rhysand were an altogether different story. Rhysand apologized to her as well, but she answered that while she accepted his apology, she could not forgive him so easily. 

She understood that he didn’t like her, and that was his right, but she also felt that he couldn’t try to make claims about her character when he barely knew her. She told him that she was perfectly fine with having a tepid relationship with him where they would only speak when strictly necessary or that they could try to get to know each other better. Rhysand went with the second option. From there, they went on to have many long discussions. Once they’d gotten a bit closer, Nesta returned to their original point of contention: reproductive freedoms. She made Rhys listen to podcasts and read articles and watch videos about what reproductive freedom really was and why it was so important. “You don’t have to change your opinion,” she’d said, over and over. “You just need to be informed before you try to make claims about what others should or shouldn’t do with their bodies and their lives.”

It was only months later that Nesta finally stopped putting him through the wringer and told him that she’d forgiven him. 

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Cass. It definitely was all for your entertainment, no other reason at all for us to argue,” Nesta replied dryly.

Her eyes drifted to the polaroid in the bottom right corner. “Now that,” she pointed, “that was entertainment. What a show!” She licked her lips and batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly. 

“It was completely staged, of course,” Cassian joked. “The whole thing was just for your pleasure.”

Nesta raised an eyebrow. “My ‘pleasure’?” 

“My, my, what a dirty mind you have, Nesta!” Cassian fake-gasped. “A proper gentleman would never imply something so improper to a lady like yourself.”

“A proper gentleman? Where?” she retorted without missing a beat. 

He clutched his chest. “You wound me, m’lady.” He shook his head. “And to think, I was your knight in shining armor that day…”

“More like knight in very little armor.”

__________

Three years ago

Plunk.

They watched, immobilized by shock, as the necklace drifted below the water’s surface. 

It fell slowly, until it became only a vague shadow in the water.

“Nesta?” “Nesta, are you ok?” 

Voices faded in and out of Nesta’s awareness. She tried to force herself to smile, to nod that she was completely, totally fine. Unfortunately, she seemed to have lost the ability to control her body. 

It was so, so stupid. She’d been having such a wonderful day. And now, she’d ruined it.

Cassian and Azriel had prepared a group trip to Ravennia Park, complete with a lovely picnic lunch in the field of blooming daffodils. Cassian had even made sure to include all her favorite foods in the lunch. Afterward, they walked around the park, stopping occasionally to take pictures or listen to birds. 

They had stopped on this small bridge so that Feyre could take pictures of the glistening lake and the paddling of ducks that had just entered the water. Nesta had leaned over the railing, chatting with Cassian as she watched the colorful koi fish swim.

Her necklace had snapped suddenly, tumbling into the water before anyone could react. 

Her silver necklace, which her father had given her for her eighth birthday, disappeared under the surface of the lake. Gone, just like her middle school best friend, Clare Beddor, who had drowned herself in a pool. Gone, just like her father.

Until her mother got sick, Nesta had had an amazing relationship with her father. She would sit next to him, listening intently as he explained how trading and shipbuilding worked. She was always the one to run and open the door when he came home from work, enveloping him in a hug. She loved it when he read her bedtime stories and watched her dance around the living room.

Then, everything changed. Her illusion that he could do no wrong broke when her mother told her that the reason she wasn’t getting better from her illness was that they couldn’t afford good doctors and medicine since her father had lost his job. After that, Nesta’s resentment only grew as the misfortunes piled up. Her mother died and they couldn’t afford the funeral that she’d wanted. Her sisters had to change schools. They moved into a smaller house, with a bedroom that all three sisters shared. They struggled to put food on the table. 

When her father decided to sell art instead of looking for another job, saying he couldn’t rely on others to give him work, Nesta fumed. How could he sit there, carving wood and drinking beer, while Feyre worked overtime at her job in addition to school and she and Elain did all the cooking and cleaning? Nesta had vowed to leave as soon as she could, and, it turned out, that ballet allowed her to leave the nest sooner than expected. 

Still, she’d felt guilty leaving her sisters to fend for themselves in that house, and then felt even angrier at her father for not taking care of them and putting Nesta in a position where she felt guilty for following her dreams. 

Suffice to say, Nesta had a difficult relationship with him — one that was made all the more complex when he died of a sudden heart attack. 

It had taken Nesta a long time to process and make peace with his death. 

She’d decided to wear the necklace her father had given her today, in honor of his birthday. Once upon a time, she had worn this necklace all the time, showing off the token of her father’s affection. By putting it back on, she felt like she was healing a teenage Nesta, who had violently taken off her necklace at her mother’s funeral and shoved it into the drawer of her bedside table. 

And now, it was lost forever. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice cut through her haze and she lifted her eyes to see his worried expression. He brought a finger to her cheek, caressing it softly. It grounded her, bringing her back to the present, but she didn’t react — couldn’t react — more than just blinking at him dazedly. 

Cassian took a deep breath. He grabbed the back of his t-shirt and removed it in one smooth motion, his pants quickly following suit. Before Nesta could process what was happening, he climbed over the railing and plunged into the lake. 

Nesta could only cling to the railing, shocked silent for a new reason as she waited, praying to all the gods she barely believed in that his head would emerge from the water. 

She tried to dispel all the fears that swam around in her mind, taunting her about the dangers of the lake. The water plants that could ensnare even experienced swimmers’ feet and drown them, the animals that could bite and eat him, the sharp rocks that could injure him, the current that could pull him under — the possibilities were endless.

Cassian’s head emerged from the water and she felt her heart unclench, just for a second, until he disappeared once more. 

This jerked Nesta out of her stupor. 

“Cassian,” she called out. “Cass! What the fuck are you doing? Get back here! ” Her voice grew increasingly panicked as there was no response. 

“It’s dangerous, are you insane? Cassian? Cassian!”

Her shouts only stopped when Cassian surfaced. His broad shoulders and defined abs glistened in the sunlight as drops of water rolled down his chest. The bun his hair had been in had come upon, and now his dark, wavy-curly mane was streaming down his back. His brown skin was slick with water and drops clung to his long eyelashes. She couldn’t stop herself from noticing that he looked exactly how she’d imagined a merman to be. 

Her lips parted as he stepped out of the water. She forced her eyes away from his soaking wet underwear that clung to his body, defining every inch of it. Her gaze fixed on his chest instead. She knew she should be focusing on Cassian’s face or the necklace in his hand but he was so fucking distracting. Soaked Cassian was criminally delectable. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice was worried, probably since Nesta still wasn’t speaking.

“Nes,” he whispered, gently tilting her head upwards with a finger under her chin. 

Their eyes met. Cassian’s concern was wiped off his face and was instantly replaced by a smirk.

“Lost your tongue, sweetheart?” he teased.

Though she had indeed lost the ability to speak, she would not give him the satisfaction of admitting it. No, she would play his game and beat him at it. 

She licked her lips slowly. She tilted her head back to expose the column of her throat while she swallowed sharply, knowing how it drove him crazy. Cassian made a low noise in the back of his throat, as though he was trying and failing to suppress a groan. Then, he put his arms on her shoulders, turning her around. 

“Lift up your hair,” he whispered into her ear, sending shivers across her body. 

She did as he requested. He put the necklace back on her neck, patiently working the tiny clasp. His fingers brushed her neck, and even the cold silver of the necklace couldn’t cool the heat that spread within her. When the necklace was securely fastened, she turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

She took a moment to look deep within his eyes. 

She would have to yell at him later for risking his life for a piece of jewelry, but nonetheless she appreciated what he had done. He was one of the only people who knew that she had a fear of deep water due to its association with Clare, and was also the only person who knew what putting this necklace back on meant for her. Yes, it was only a necklace, but he had also saved her from reopening the wounds of her complex relationship with her father and her past self. 

So she kissed him, knowing he would understand every conflicting thought and emotion that she pressed against his lips. And when his hand came up to support her neck, she knew that he was answering ‘I’m here for you, always.’

__________

Present day

“I knew you were objectifying me,” Cassian pouted mockingly.

Nesta nodded. “Oh, for sure. You’re nothing but a sexy hunk to me.” 

She leaned closer to him. “That’s why I said I love you first.” She tapped the picture in the top left corner. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”

Nesta hummed as though she were seriously contemplating the issue. “How about… forever?” 

Cassian’s eyes sparkled and his mouth twisted around, as though he were trying to hold back a grin. 

“Urg, fine,” he said. His attempt to appear annoyed failed completely as he sounded more amused than anything else. “As long as you know I loved you first.”

It was Nesta’s turn to roll her eyes in mock annoyance, despite knowing that he was likely correct. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

__________

Three years ago

It was the final match of the Alfheim Ice Hockey Championships. If the Velaris Ghost Leopards managed to beat the Hybern Hydras, they would win the Fionn Cup for the first time in history. 

The game was extremely close, with both teams tied at 2-2, though not for lack of trying. The Hydras were playing atrociously dirty by anyone’s standards. They had already received numerous green and yellow cards, but it didn’t seem to deter them from continuing to foul the Ghost Leopards. 

Nesta cheered as Andras blocked Keir Hewn’s attack. Lucien swept in, stealing the puck from Keir, and passed it across the ice to Cassian. Cassian bluffed and wove his way through the Hydras’ defensemen. 

“C’mon, Cass, c’mon,” she chanted, her hands clasped together. 

Beron Falls raced to block Cassian, but Cassian passed the puck to Kallias just in time. Kallias dribbled the puck expertly. 

“Please, Kallias, make this shot,” Rhys implored from the seat behind Nesta’s. 

Kallias skated towards the goals, and lifted his stick to shoot. 

Then, the ice erupted in shouts, the umpire blowing the whistle continuously. 

“What just happened?” Gwyn asked but no one had an answer to give her. Nesta just sighed, dropping her face into her hands until she felt Elain tugging at her shoulder. Her eyes followed Elain’s pointed finger to see the jumbotron showing a replay. Andrew Amaranth, the Hydras’ left winger, had come up to Kallias from behind. He grabbed his stick and kicked the back of his calf with the blade of his skates, causing Kallias to fall. 

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Nesta shouted.

“He’s actually unhinged,” Azriel agreed. 

The umpire called for a yellow and a ten-minute time out.

“It should be a red card,” Gwyn hissed and Nesta loudly agreed. 

The game continued in such a fashion, with the Hydras playing as dirty as possible without getting red cards. 

The game was still tied with five minutes remaining in the third period. 

“We can’t go into overtime,” Azriel muttered to himself, “All our players are getting tired and they’re bound to actually get injured from these fouls.”

“Better overtime than a loss,” Rhys replied.

Nesta looked down at her hands. Her nails had been bitten down to the nub over the course of this game. 

Winning the Fionn Cup was a lifelong dream of Cassian’s. He had worked hard for this. He’d given his life to this sport for years, training every day for hours on end, no matter how tired he was. He studied strategy, honed his body, and worked with his team to figure out how to play into everyone’s individual strengths.

But it was more than that. 

In many ways, the sport had also saved Cassian. It had given him direction and a sense of purpose at a time when he’d felt lost. It had given him a team, when he’d only ever felt alone. It had provided him an alternative to the path he’d thought he was destined for — a path that led to nothing but more despair, where he would just get by, numbly passing through every day and surviving by the skin of his teeth. Ice hockey had opened up a whole new world for him and allowed him to dream of a different future for himself. It had given him hope, showing him a way out of the cycle of sadness that he’d imagined he would be trapped in forever. 

The world had once branded him as useless, as broken, as less than nothing. As he was tossed around from foster home to foster home, sleeping on the street among the trash, the word worthless sank deeper and deeper into his skin. 

Ice hockey was the hand that had reached out and pulled him to his feet, getting him off the ground, out of the shadows and the litter and the endless despair. It had dusted him off and pulled him into the light, where he could get warm and grow and sparkle as he was meant to. 

Now, Nesta wanted the world to acknowledge that Cassian was a champion. She wanted the world to know they’d been wrong to ever dismiss him as anything less than magnificent. She wanted him to win the Fionn Cup and stand proudly in the spotlight, knowing the world now looked up to him. More than anything, she wanted him to know that he was worthy, that he was precious, that he was important. 

“Oh, fuck, yes!” Azriel shouted. Nesta would have raised an eyebrow at him — the ever-brooding, silent and mysterious Azriel — shouting so enthusiastically, if she hadn’t been so caught up in the game.  

Kallias had stolen the puck from Dagdan Maeve and was racing towards the goal. Just as he crossed the center line, the Hydra’s defensemen, Beron and Nolan, closed in on him. Nesta watched as Kallias attempted to fake them out, then made a sharp turn to get away from them, all to no avail. Beron finally caught up to him and moved to steal the puck. With Nolan guarding Kallias’ other side, there was nowhere for him to move, no space for him to pass.

“Oh, I can’t watch,” Rhys hissed, wincing. 

Nesta pressed her lips together, hoping for a miracle, when suddenly the puck disappeared. Kallias had somehow managed to pass it through the narrow gap between Beron and Nolan’s sticks and had hit the puck with such strength that neither of them could move to stop it in time. Cassian received the pass and skated towards the goal. Beron, Nolan, and even some of the forwards moved to stop him, but Nesta knew they wouldn’t make it in time. Not when Cassian was speeding forward, moving like the wind as he skated across the ice. 

Nesta leaned forward in her seat as a feeling swelled up inside her. It was a mix of anticipation, nervousness, hope, fear, pride, and something else — something that made her feel like her heart was in her throat and made her pray that Cassian would score but know she would be there by his side no matter what happened. She had been feeling it for so long now, but had never voiced it — never put words to the feeling for fear that it would shatter the precious thing they’d built. But now Nesta knew it wasn’t something that could be so easily destroyed. No, it didn’t matter if Cassian won or lost, or even got injured. It didn’t matter if Cassian got traded to a team in a different city or Nesta had to switch ballet companies. No matter what, through the ups and the downs, they would be there for each other, helping to shoulder the emotional load. 

As Cassian's hockey stick hit the puck, Nesta wondered why she had been waiting so long when it was so clear what this feeling was. If she was being honest, she’d known it when Cassian dove into the water for her necklace, had known it when he’d brought her to Windhaven, had known it even the first time she’d sat in these seats, cheering Cassian on as he played. 

Cassian’s love was loud. It was in the romantic dates he planned, the surprises and gifts and hugs he showered her with, the weekends when he could sleep in but woke up anyway to make her pancakes. No, he hadn’t said the words either, but his protective arm around her during dinner with his friends and the vulnerable look in his eyes as he prepared a fusion meal that combined their cultural cuisines said all that was needed. 

Nesta’s love was quiet. It was in the fridge restocked with Cassian’s favorite foods, the ways she tended to his injuries after a match, and carefully planned meaningful gifts for his birthday. No, she hadn’t said the words, but she knew that he knew how she felt. 

But now, as the puck flew towards the goal, Nesta wanted to love just as boldly as Cassian. She wanted to show the world how lucky she was to be with him, but more importantly, she wanted Cassian to feel how much she cared about him. She wanted him to know that she was proud to be his. For him, she’d shout their love from the rooftops. She’d give him the whole universe if she could, because the world had been so unkind to him and yet he’d still managed to become the most incredible person in it. She could only offer him her heart, however, and hope that he would find it worthy of keeping. 

The puck grazed the goalie’s glove and Nesta held her breath. The goalie stretched out his fingers to grab it but it flew past him. 

“GOAL!” 

The entire stadium erupted into screams. Cheers of pure joy came from the Ghost Leopards’ side, louder than ever before. Nesta watched as Gwyn, Azriel, Elain, and Rhys jumped up and hugged each other.

Nesta could only stand up in silence, too consumed with her feelings to utter a single sound. For what sound could encapsulate this all-encompassing joy and pride? She looked down at the rink. Cassian’s teammates were all piled up around him in a massive group hug. And in the middle of it all, Cassian was there, beaming. His eyes lifted and met hers. She was grinning, wider than ever before in her life, and lifted her hands to make a heart. 

Cassian’s eyes turned huge. He took a deep breath. 

Perhaps he would have responded in kind, but he was obstructed from Nesta’s view as another teammate jumped to hug him and then the coach yelled at them that the game was restarting. Cassian shot Nesta one last, loaded glance before skating back to his position.

It was all a blur after that. The last few minutes of the match passed without any change.  Both teams’ offenses and defenses were equally matched, and the puck passed between them with no chances to score. When the buzzer rang out, everyone sprung to their feet. 

Nesta cheered, not giving a shit that her voice would be hoarse the next day with how loudly she was screaming. Azriel was jumping up and down like a child — she’d never seen him so overtly joyous. Rhys had tears of joy pouring down his cheeks. Gwyn and Elain were hugging. 

After the awards ceremony, all the interviews, and a rowdy celebration with the team, Cassian finally joined them. 

The second they caught sight of him, they rushed towards him. All five of them reached him at the same time and jumped on him, crushing him as they hugged him and showered him with compliments and congratulations.  

Cassian laughed boisterously. 

“I can’t believe it! I’m friends with a Fionn Cup Champion,” Gwyn gushed.

“Oh, so now we’re friends?” Cassian teased.

Gwyn answered with a playful shove that pushed Cassian back toward Azriel. Az wrapped his arms around Cassian, trapping him.

He pressed a kiss to the side of Cassian’s head as the latter squirmed. 

“Sorry Nes, I’m keeping him,” Azriel joked, tightening his grip as Cassian tried to shake him off. 

“Take him,” Nesta grinned. “He snores.” 

“I do not!” 

Cassian’s protest went ignored.

“Hmm,” Azriel pretended to muse. “But then I could have a real-life Fionn Cup Champion in my room. The price of the noise-canceling headphones will be worth it.”

Nesta shrugged. “I’d be surprised if he fit through your door, now that his ego is going to get even bigger.” 

“True, true. I’d hate for his massive head to break my roof.”

“Hello? I thought you’re supposed to be nice to Fionn Cup winners,” Cassian pouted.

Gwyn laughed. “Nice? Cassian, it’s like you don’t even know us.”

“I can be nice,” Rhys protested.

Everyone proceeded to burst out laughing.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesced. “I’m a demon just like the rest of you.” 

“That’s right,” Nesta grinned. “Accept your true nature and join our pit of darkness.”

Gwyn laughed evilly, “Mwahahaha!”

Nesta lifted her left hand, which Gwyn promptly high-fived. 

“Okay, anyway,” Elain interrupted, “Cassian, are you hungry? You must be tired after that amazing game.”

“Wow, thank you for being so considerate, Elain,” he said, extending her name pointedly. “I am actually pretty hungry and tired and sore after the game.” 

He turned his head to glare at Azriel, who was still holding him.

Az merely rolled his eyes. “Aw, poor baby. Does the little Fionn Cup Champion have a boo-boo?”

“Maybe he needs Nesta to kiss them better,” Gwyn suggested, not bothering to hide her smirk.

“Are you gonna tend to his wounds?”  Rhysand asked. “Nurse him to health?”

“I guess that depends on what it is that he’s hungry for,” Nesta replied with a wink.

They all burst out laughing a second later.

“Wow, you’re all so immature,” Cassian sniffed. “Elain is the only person fit for polite company.”

Rhysand glanced around. “What polite company?”

“Oh, no,” Azriel exclaimed. “We’re blaspheming! Now that Cassian’s won the Cup, we have to refer to him by his proper title: His Highness Sir Cassian of Illyrian.”

“I’m so sorry, my Lord,” Nesta added with a curtsey. “Please, forgive our disrespect.”

“Regency romance,” Gwyn fake-coughed into her elbow. 

“Of course, m’lady,” Cassian winked, “you’re forgiven. Although you may have to be punished for your transgressions.” 

Azriel pretended to gag. “Please, save the foreplay for the bedroom.”

“My poor, innocent ears,” Rhysand groaned. “I’ll never recover.”

Nesta turned to him. “Right, because you’ve never made out with my baby sister in public.” Then, she smirked. “Although, maybe you are innocent if that was too much for you. I mean, how vanilla are you?”

“Cassian,” Elain interrupted. “Do you want to go eat dinner at a restaurant or something?”

“That sounds amazing! How about the Greek place on 10th Avenue?” Cassian replied.

“Oh fine,” Rhys rolled his eyes playfully, “We’ll get food.” 

“I am actually really hungry, too,” Gwyn agreed.

“Well, if Gwyn is hungry, then we gotta go eat now!” Nesta declared.

Azriel nodded, his expression serious.

Cassian sighed. 

“I’ll meet you guys there,” Cassian called out as he walked towards his car with Nesta, “Or not. It’s also fine if you get lost on the way.” 

Azriel responded by raising a choice finger. 

The mirth was still in the air as Nesta closed the car door on the passenger’s side. 

“I can drive if you want,” she joked as Cassian slammed his door shut. Nesta was a notoriously reckless driver. She hated driving unless she had to, and Cassian loved driving, so it usually worked out perfectly. 

He laughed. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d like to live.” 

The car got quiet as the laughter faded. It filled instead with an intimate intensity.

Cassian turned slightly to buckle his seatbelt. 

Nesta reached over and placed a hand on his cheek. Cassian inhaled sharply and lifted his gaze to meet hers. Her thumb caressed his cheek. 

“Cassian,” she whispered. She knew the look in her eyes said it all already, but it had said it for so long and she’d never once let her tongue speak it. But Cassian — brilliant, beautiful, splendid Cassian who had been hurt far too much by the world — deserved to hear them aloud. It scared her for too many reasons to count, but if ever there was anyone worth confronting that fear for, it was this man who sat next to her in all his marvelous glory. 

His eyes were open — vulnerable, in a way he always was with her. Sometimes she wondered whether she deserved to be allowed to handle his precious heart that too many had tried to shatter. What if she dropped it or dented it with her harshness? But he entrusted her with it anyway. 

She took a deep breath. Then, she let it out, alongside the words she’d been holding in for so long.

“I love you.”

Cassian’s eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth to reply, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Not a single word escaped despite his attempts, but Nesta understood and just smiled, her eyes shining with joy. 

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to respond.”

Cassian looked frustrated at himself as a tear rolled down his cheek. “But I- I do. I-” He screwed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. 

Nesta knew that those three words were not ones Cassian had heard very much in his life. Shirina had likely been the first to say those words to him in his memory, and that hadn’t been til his teen years. Cassian’s mother had most likely loved him, but Cassian’s memories of her were sparse. 

Enalius certainly loved Cassian, but Nesta was just as certain that he would not say it out aloud. Enalius showed his love through his coaching, his cheering, and the letters he’d send from all over the world. 

Ayla, Rhysand, and Azriel also loved Cassian and weren’t shy about it these days, although none of them were particularly vocal about it either. They preferred to show it through gifts and hugs and jokes and advice. When they had met, however, they had all been preteens who wouldn’t have been caught dead saying the words ‘I love you’.

Cassian had certainly had flings and girlfriends in the past. Nesta didn’t know the details of all of his past relationships, but she could easily guess that those words had seldom or, more likely, never been exchanged.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “You don’t need to say anything right now.” 

And then, just because she could — because she now had the freedom to say it without being caged by fear — she added, “I love you, Cassian.” 

Cassian answered with a kiss that said, ‘I love you more than words can ever express.’

__________

Present day

“I was such a mess,” Cassian recalled fondly. “Rhys and Az laughed at me for bawling so much.” 

“I remember Gwyn saying that she could take the trophy if it was making you so sad,” Nesta added. 

“Nah, I think I’ll keep it,” he laughed. Then, he added, “I love you.” 

“Are you talking to me or the trophy?” 

“Oh, the trophy, for sure.”

“Oh, good, just wanted to make sure.”

They grinned at each other.

“You have no idea how I felt when I saw you make that heart that day,” he said. “I mean, I was already elated because of the goal I’d just scored, but that couldn’t even compare to how I felt when I looked up at you. I think my heart literally skipped a beat.” 

“Better visit a cardiologist then,” Nesta answered lightly.

Cassian flicked her nose. She shrieked loudly in return.

“You know what you sound like?” Cassian tapped a photo in the middle, which was surrounded by doodles of musical notes.

Nesta mock-gasped. “Excuse you, I wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re right, you were worse.”

__________

Three years ago

“What’s that?” 

Nesta pointed towards a large, lumpy black bag resting against Cassian’s bedroom wall. 

“Oh, sorry, I was practicing earlier and forgot to put it away.” Cassian moved the bag to his closet. “It’s my guitar.”

Nesta placed her hand on Cassian’s wrist before he could shut the closet. 

“You play guitar?” 

“Yeah, it’s something I picked up when living with Shirina. I’m not a pro or anything, but it’s a fun hobby, you know.” 

“Wow, would you… could you play something for me?”  

Cassian seemed surprised but nodded, pulling the guitar back out of the closet. 

He sat down on the floor, his back resting against the bed. “What do you want me to play?”

Nesta sat down beside him. “Anything you want. Just play me something you enjoy playing.”

Cassian absently strummed the guitar a few times, deep in thought.

“Alright, sweetheart. Here we go. This song is called la rosa del principe.” Cassian closed his eyes and started playing. 

Nesta watched him with bright eyes, mesmerized. 

After a while, he started singing. His deep voice complemented the melody he was strumming. His singing was nice, but it was the passion in his voice that warmed Nesta’s insides. 

“Wow,” Nesta whispered when the song ended. 

Cassian chuckled. “Shirina loved that song. She’s the one that signed me up for some guitar lessons, you know. She taught me the lyrics to la rosa del principe when I told her I didn’t know them. She was always humming the melody when she was cooking or doing chores or whatever. I think it was a song her mom liked, so it reminded her of her childhood.”

“Does it remind you of your childhood?”

Cassian took a moment to contemplate his answer. “It reminds me of Shirina, and how kindly and lovingly she treated me. That wasn’t really a common theme in my childhood, you know, but I suppose you could say it reminds me of some of the best parts of my childhood.”

Nesta nudged his shoulder with hers comfortingly. He gently pushed back against her in a silent gesture of gratitude. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment. 

Then, Nesta pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered, “Could you teach me?” 

Cassian swallowed roughly and nodded. 

“The lyrics are kind of complicated, since it’s not in English, but I can just teach you the chorus for now if you want.”

“Sure,” she smiled.

Cassian spoke the lyrics slowly. Nesta tried to repeat after him, though she didn’t do the best job judging by Cassian’s chuckles. 

“Close. It’s tramonto, not tremare,” he corrected. 

“What do the lyrics mean?” Nesta asked. 

“The song is a love letter to a rose. It’s a metaphor for loving something so delicate and impermanent,” he explained. “The song is from the point of view of this guy who is so powerful — he’s a prince, he can travel across galaxies, he can do whatever he wants — but he feels so powerless because he knows he can’t control what happens to this rose that he loves. And even though he’s rich and powerful, he gets lonely a lot and his rose is his only companion so he dreads the thought of leaving it or having it disappear.”

“That sounds kind of tragic.”

“I guess so, but it’s not sad per se. It’s more like a reminder of the importance of love rather than materialistic things, and not taking your loved ones for granted.” 

He kissed her cheek. 

Nesta smiled. “That’s beautiful.”

Cassian hummed in agreement. “It’s such a Shirina song. She loved songs with morals like that, that remind you to appreciate what you have. She was so down-to-Earth, even though her husband was one of the richest, most powerful people around here. It’s…” He trailed off with a sigh. 

“I’m glad you met her,” Nesta said quietly after a moment. “She sounds like a great person and I’m so happy you had her in your life.”

“Yeah, me too.” He took a deep breath. “I wish you could’ve met her. I think… I think she would have loved you.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They sat quietly for a moment. Then, Cassian grinned mischievously. 

“Cas! What the fu-” yelped Nesta as he lifted her up. 

He placed her between his legs with a huff of laughter. She leaned back into him, her back pressing against his front. 

Cassian placed the guitar in her lap. 

“Alright, it’s time for you to learn how to play this magnificent instrument,” he declared. 

“Okay, but I’m just warning you, I don’t really have experience playing instruments.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m just here to help you learn some basics. Besides, you’re a dancer so you have some experience with rhymes and stuff. How bad could you be?”

Holding her hands in his, he demonstrated how to hold the guitar and how to strum a basic chord. 

“You got it!” Cassian cheered as Nesta played a C chord that didn’t sound half bad. 

“Ok, so then,” Cassian moved their hands to a different position. “Use your pointer finger to hold down this string. Good! Your middle finger holds this one and your ring finger holds this one.” 

He continued his explanation of different chords and strumming patterns. 

“So, basically, you just hold down different strings and strum up and down for different notes, right?” Nesta asked as he finished.

Cassian chuckled. “Basically, yeah.”

“Alright.” Nesta wiggled her hands free from Cassian’s grasp and took a dramatic deep breath. “It’s time. I’m going to play.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you going to play? I haven’t taught you how to play la rosa del principe yet.”

She shrugged. “I’m just going to let my imagination and inspiration guide me.” 

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s going to turn out-”

A jumbled chord cut him off. 

“Um-” 

What followed next was the most chaotic, screechy minute of guitar playing Cassian had ever heard. The torture likely would have continued for longer, since he didn’t have the heart to stop Nesta, if they hadn’t been interrupted by the Cassian’s bedroom door slamming open.

Azriel yelled, “Cassian! I think a cat is dying in your ro- oh, hey Nesta.”

“Hey Az!” she replied, beaming at Cassian’s roommate until she registered his words. “Wait, what? You think I sound like a dying cat?” 

Azriel took a step back, prepared to run away, as Nesta stood up and placed the guitar in Cassian’s lap. 

“Well, you know, uh, it’s good to practice and all, but we don’t want noise complaints from our neighbors, or allegations of animal abuse so…” Az smirked.

“Wha- animal- Get back here you little-” Nesta sprinted down the hallway, chasing after a cackling Azriel. 

Cassian was still sitting there, laughing, when the two of them ran back into the room. 

“Save me, Cass!” Azriel pleaded as he tried to hide behind his friend. 

Nesta smirked. “You really think you can use my boyfriend against me like this?”

“He was my friend first!” Azriel gripped his sleeve.

Nesta rolled her eyes. 

“Please Cassian,” she said in an airy voice. She looked up at him through her lashes and gently tugged on his sleeve. 

He followed her lead without even thinking, until Azriel muttered, “Traitor.”

“Hey, wait-” Cassian interjected, coming to his senses.

Nesta stuck her tongue out at Az. “He loves me.” 

Whatever Cassian could have said on Azriel’s behalf dissipated when her eyes softened as they met his. 

Even Azriel’s over-the-top gagging noises couldn’t ruin the moment as Nesta smiled at him and murmured, “Can you teach me how to play la rosa del principe later?” 

“We’ll see,” Cassian replied with a smile, knowing full well that he’d cave into her demands, no matter the cost to his ears.

__________

Present day

“I love that you wanted to learn how to play guitar for me.” Cassian’s eyes were warm and full of mirth. “Even if playing music isn’t exactly your strong suit.” 

Nesta placed a hand over her heart. “How dare you suggest such a thing.” 

Her stern demeanor gave way to playfulness as she winked, “I guess you’ll just have to sing and play music for me while I dance.”

“Exactly. You see, Nes, we complement each other perfectly.”

“A match made in heaven,” she agreed with a laugh. 

“Honestly, though, it meant a lot to me that you wanted to hear me play,” Cassian said when they stopped laughing, “and that you wanted to learn.”

“It meant a lot to me that you were willing to share such a personal song with me,” Nesta answered, “and that you were willing to be so open with me without prompting. It was like a sign, you know, that our relationship was actually real and meaningful to you, too. Of course I already knew that but, like, I guess it just hit home right then.” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. In that moment, I also felt how easy it was to be open and talk about anything and everything with you.”

“You see?” Nesta winked, gesturing between them. “We’re made for each other.”

She glanced down at the pictures between them. 

“At least I don’t need to put up with Az insulting my musical talents anymore, now that you don’t live together.”

“Talents?” Cassian coughed. 

Nesta shot him a warning glare before continuing, “I’m so glad I don’t need to hear him complaining or interrupting us anymore. That was the real reason I asked you to live with me, you know — so I wouldn’t have to hear his whining.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” he replied. He leaned closer to her. “It was all part of my plan, Sweetheart.”

__________

Two years ago

“Don’t mind me, I just need to get to the kettle.”

Nesta and Cassian sprung apart at Azriel’s words. 

Azriel, with a bored expression, walked past the couple into the kitchen and filled water in the kettle. 

Cassian hastily redid his fly, clearing his throat a few times. Nesta, blushing furiously, scrambled to hook her bra and do up the buttons on her shirt. 

Azriel turned back around, leaning back against the counter as he waited for the water to boil. He reached into his back pocket for his phone, but noticed Nesta’s expression and rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, Nesta, chill. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” 

Cassian furrowed his eyebrows. “What?” he growled. 

Azriel shook his head in exasperation. “How many times have I walked in on you two making out — hell, how many times have I walked in on you two fucking in common spaces? At this point, I’m immune to all this.” He waved his hand at Nesta’s half-open shirt and Cassian’s bare chest. 

Cassian slipped his shirt over his head. 

“Really?” Nesta asked, arching a perfectly angled eyebrow and tossing her hair over her shoulder. Cassian elbowed her and she giggled, buttoning up the rest of her shirt. 

“Az-” Cassian began, annoyance coloring his tone.

“No,” Azriel interrupted firmly. “If you don’t want me to walk in or interrupt you or whatever, go do whatever you want in your room. I’ve never once complained about the noise, even when I have to put up with your loud-ass moans and screams. But I have the right to make tea in my own house if I want to.” 

Cassian narrowed his eyes. His stance changed unconsciously, gearing up for a fight. He opened his mouth to deliver a biting retort. 

“You’re right, Az,” Nesta interjected before the situation could escalate any further. “We’re sorry.”

Azriel was silent, his eyes fixed on Cassian. The latter let Nesta pull him towards his bedroom. 

About a week later, Cassian and Nesta were once again interrupted. This time, Azriel crunched loudly on his popcorn as he walked into the living room.

Cassian sent him a questioning glare as Nesta scrambled to cover herself.

“What?” Azriel replied, unfazed. “I was gonna watch TV, but, well, it seems like there’s a show right here.”

“Look-”

“C’mon, Cass.” Nesta sprung up from the couch, dressed in Cassian’s shirt, and took her boyfriend’s hand. “I needed to talk to you about something, anyway.” She winked at him and whispered, “I got a little side-tracked and forgot.”

Cassian shot Az a dirty look as he exited the room. 

“Did you actually need to talk about something,” Cassian asked with a smile as he sat down on his bed and placed Nesta on his lap, “or did you just want to distract me?”

He leaned his forehead against hers. 

Nesta laughed lightly. “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t always lie to manipulate you.” 

He widened his eyes in false disbelief. “Really?”

She shook her head with a grin. “Why would I when I can manipulate you just as well with the truth?”

“Ooh, you saucy witch,” Cassian joked.  

They both laughed.

Nesta pressed a hand to Cassian’s cheek to stop him as he leaned in to kiss her.

“I do actually want to talk about something.”

He leaned back and cocked his head. “What’s up?”

The twinkle in Nesta’s eyes dimmed.

“It’s my apartment.” She swallowed. “My landlord is raising the rent.” 

“Again?” he replied, alarmed. It had only been four months since the last time her rent had increased.

She nodded. “Yeah. And it’s not… I mean, it would be ridiculous for me to stay there, even if I managed to afford it. It’s definitely not worth the new rent.”

“So you want to move?” 

“Yeah.” 

Cassian seemed confused by her nervous tone. “Alright, well, don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll help you with all your stuff, and I know a guy with a moving truck. It’ll all be okay. We’ll find you a way better place to live.” 

He gave her an encouraging squeeze and smile that she didn’t return.

“Uh, well, um. Actually, I was wondering if…” Nesta rolled her lips.

Cassian frowned, concerned by Nesta’s hesitant tone.

“Could I- I mean, I already spend so much time at your place,” she continued, “and I stay here a lot and we- um. Since I have to get a new place…”

“Of course you can stay here while you look for a new place!” Cassian replied.

“Oh!” Nesta sounded surprised. “No, I- I mean, thank you. But, uh, that’s not really what I was gonna…” She shook her head, annoyed at her own incoherence. “That’s really sweet of you, Cass.”

Cassian gave her a long look, trying to decipher her thoughts. “Are you trying to find a place on this block? I can try to get the inside scoop if that’s what you were asking.”

“No, no, that’s not what I-” She took a deep breath and then looked into Cassian's eyes. “Would you want to live with me?”

Cassian blinked. “Oh! Oh, I-” He started to grin. Then, he blinked again, and his face fell. “Oh, uh, I…”

“It’s totally fine if not!” Nesta quickly backtracked. “I know you already signed this lease and stuff, and I can definitely just move-”

“No, it’s- I-” It was Cassian’s turn to take a deep breath. “Nesta, I would love to live with you and I���m honored that you asked me and I’m- I’m so, so happy that you want to live with me. But, well, I just don’t know if it will work out, considering.” He shot a glance towards the door. 

Nesta got up from Cassian’s lap. “Oh.” She looked away from him as she gathered her clothes off the floor, trying to disguise her hurt. “Um, okay. Yeah. I get it.” Her thoughts spiraled as she changed out of Cassian’s shirt.

“Nes! Nesta, I…” Cassian seemed to be at a loss for words. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied half-heartedly after a beat. 

“Nes, I just…” he sounded frustrated. “You know how things have been lately, with Az. As much as I… I don’t think it’s realistic to think that he’d be okay with it, and of course I’d talk to him beforehand but, like, it is his place too and…”

She gave a noncommittal hum in reply.

The room was drenched in tense silence.

“Can you just be honest?” Nesta said finally, puncturing the tension. “If you don’t want to move in with me, just say it. I understand you’re renting this place with Az, but he isn’t unreasonable. We both know that if you talked about it, he’d be cool with it. Maybe he’d ask you to wait for a bit, until the end of this lease or whatever, but he wouldn’t stop you. So just tell me why you don’t want to live with me, because I- I thought we were… that this was…”

“I am being honest,” Cassian frowned. 

She gave an irritated sigh. 

“No, really, I am,” he insisted. “You were there with me in the living room, weren’t you? Didn’t you see how pissed he was? I guess maybe it wasn’t- Az isn’t the type to yell or anything. That quiet, passive-aggressive type shit is how he expresses his annoyance.”

“So?” Nesta bit back. “If anything, I would have thought he’d be glad if we weren’t here as often.”

“Exactly! I don’t think we should spend more time here.”

Nesta paused. “What?”

“I know you and Az do get along,” he said, “but I really don’t think he’d be fine with you moving in here.”

“Here? Wait, you thought- Oh. Oh!” Nesta brightened visibly.

“What?” Cassian seemed bewildered by her sudden change in mood. 

“Cassian, I wasn’t asking to move in here,” she laughed. “I was asking you to move in with me at a new place we’ll find together.”

Cassian’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Yes, of course, I’d love that! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I thought- but- yes!”

Nesta grinned. “I should’ve been clearer, sorry about that.”

“No, no, it’s on me.” His face slowly spread into a grin. “Guess we’ll have to work on communicating better if we’re gonna live together, huh?”

“I guess so,” she beamed.

Nesta embraced Cassian tightly. 

“We’re living together!” she whispered excitedly.

He hugged her back. “Yes, we are,” he replied just as thrilled.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe we were so stupid,” Nesta laughed.

“I know right?” Cassian looked down at the photo once more. “No, but seriously, I was so elated when we moved into this place.”

Nesta smiled fondly. “Yeah, me too. I smiled for, like, 48 hours straight, even though we had to carry all those boxes and,” she paused dramatically, “unpack.” She shuddered. 

“Ah, yes, unpacking — the harshest of struggles.”

“I’m so glad you understand.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind unpacking, but well,” Cassian ran a hand through his hair suavely, “some people are just built different.”

Nesta flipped him off playfully.

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t be jealous,” he replied consolingly, “I have my own weaknesses. Like, I hate packing.”

She huffed. “Cass-”

“What? Oh, c’mon, what’s the point of my trauma if I can’t joke about it?” 

She shook her head with a chuckle. “So you’re saying that all that trauma was just character development so you could increase your humor stats?”

Cassian pointed finger guns at her. “Cha-ching! Now you get it.” 

Nesta laughed. 

She looked around, still awed by the beautiful display Cassian had set up for her. She picked up a rose petal and admired its color and scent. As she fiddled with it, she was suddenly struck by a thought. 

“Where are Ara and Lina?” 

“They’re with Em,” Cassian said reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean all this stuff up before they get back.”

“Oh, they love being at Emerie’s place. They get along so well with Siph, it’s crazy.” Nesta paused, struck by another thought. “Wait, but why did you ask her to watch them? I mean, why did you organize this whole-”

“Remember when we got them?” Cassian interrupted, pointing to another polaroid. “They used to be so tiny! It’s crazy how much they’ve grown.”

Nesta cocked her head, confused by Cassian ignoring her question. Before she could continue her line of questioning, however, her eyes landed on the photo he was indicating and she got sidetracked. 

“Oh my gosh, yeah,” she breathed as she reminisced. “I can’t believe we thought we were going to walk into the shelter without adopting a pet.”

“I can’t believe we told the landlord that we didn’t care about the pet policy because we were never going to get one,” he answered. 

“We’re so lucky we accidentally got an apartment that allows pets,” she agreed. 

“I’ll never forget the look on Cresseida’s face when we told her,” Cassian added. 

She replied, “She made sure we’d never forget. She was saying ‘I told you so’ for months.”

__________

One year ago

 “We’ll stop by for a bit, but we’re not adopting any pets,” Nesta repeated for the fifth time in the past ten minutes.

“Okay,” Cresseida answered with a knowing smirk, “but it’s also okay if you change your mind.”

Cresseida, Emerie’s girlfriend, ran a pet shelter with her best friend, Nuala. She had invited all of Emerie’s friends to stop by anytime, saying that she and the animals enjoyed having company. 

Nesta and Cassian had resisted at first, since they weren’t looking for pets and, in Nesta’s words, “weren’t the pet type”. Neither of them had ever owned a pet before. While they respected people who loved their pets, they also enjoyed making fun of those who dressed up in matching outfits with their pets for Halloween and talked about their pets as though they were their children. Also, while Nesta didn’t dislike animals per se, she also didn’t like them enough to feel any desire to live with one 24/7, let alone take care of one. Cassian liked animals well enough but he’d had some bad experiences with stray dogs when he was a kid. When they visited friends who owned big dogs who would greet visitors by pouncing on them or barking excitedly, Cassian would always plaster a fake smile on his face, but she’d feel him flinch.  

However, when Emerie used her puppy-dog eyes and pleaded with Nesta to just go once to support her girlfriend’s work, she’d caved and agreed to visit. Cassian and Gwyn — both of whom had yet to visit the shelter — came along with her, saying they should all just get it over with together. 

“This side of the shelter has dogs,” Cresseida said as they walked in, “and this side has cats. There are also some other animals in the back section. Feel free to walk around and ask me if you have any questions. Right now, most of the animals are in their individual kennels and the kennel doors are locked but let me know if you want to play with any of them.” 

“Alright, thanks,” Nesta replied.

She and Cassian shared a look. Both of them wanted to humor Cresseida, who was a great person and also the best girlfriend Emerie had (at least in Nesta’s opinion), but they both knew they wouldn’t be interested in any animals. They would just wander around the shelter until an appropriate amount of time had passed and they could politely leave. 

“Ooh, a kitten!” Gwyn exclaimed, grabbing Nesta’s hand and pulling her into the cat section.

Meanwhile, Cassian followed Cresseida into a different area.

 “Oh my gosh, this baby is only 12 weeks old,” Gwyn cooed at the striped tabby cat. “Isn’t she adorable?”

“She is cute,” Nesta admitted, but Gwyn had already moved on.

“Wow, this cat has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen! Oh, and look at this one! Do you see the face he’s making?”

Nesta laughed and followed her friend, nodding along to Gwyn’s excited commentary. 

Finally, Gwyn came to a halt with a gasp. She kneeled down wordlessly in front of an orange kitten, who blinked back at her sleepily. Nesta kneeled down next to Gwyn. She looked at the kennel in front of her. A jet-black cat was at the other corner of the kennel, hissing and growling at the young boy who was trying to attract its attention. His mother pulled him away just as the cat attempted to scratch the child through the glass. 

“Crazy feral cat,” Nesta heard the mother grumble under her breath as they walked away. 

Nesta raised an eyebrow at the cat, who regarded her with an equally judgemental expression. Nesta took a step closer to the glass. The cat did the same. 

She tuned out Gwyn mumbling something. Instead, she turned her focus to the tag on the kennel.

“Oh, wow, you still don’t have a name even though you’re eight months old, huh,” Nesta said. She had always thought it was a bit silly how pet owners talked to animals as though they could really answer, but now she found it to be the most natural thing in the world. Especially when the cat meowed in response.

Nesta cocked her head. The cat studied her for a few seconds. It stared intensely with its yellow eyes. Then, it tilted its head, copying her. 

She couldn’t help but melt. How was it possible that such a sweet cat had yet to find a home?

“Nesta! There you are!” 

Nesta jolted as Cresseida’s voice interrupted her thoughts. 

“I see you found little Miss Onyx over here,” Cresseida smiled. “I’ve never seen her be so friendly with any customers before.”

“Is her name Onyx, then?”

“Oh, no. We have tried to name her before, but she seems to hate every name we’ve tried, so we kind of gave up,” Cresseida explained. “We couldn’t keep calling her ‘the unnamed black cat’, though, so now we just refer to her by black object names.” Cresseida turned towards the cat. “Isn’t that right, Blackberry?” 

The cat hissed and retreated to the corner of her kennel closest to Nesta. 

Cresseida laughed. “See?” Then, she sent Nesta a knowing glance. “She seems to adore you.”

Nesta glanced back at the cat, who was now sitting with a paw on the glass.

“She is very cute,” she admitted. 

“She is,” Cresseida agreed. “Sadly, she’s fierce enough that she scares away most customers.”

“It’s like she’s made for Nesta!” Gwyn piped up. “I mean, look at her spunky attitude, her fierceness, her witchy vibes — since, you know, she’s a black cat.”

“I don’t have witchy vibes,” Nesta muttered.

Gwyn ignored her. “Not to mention, she’s right next to Mer,” she pointed to the orange cat, “who is my soulmate cat so our cats are destined to be best friends, just like us!”

“Wow, I didn’t- I haven’t said I’m adopting her yet,” Nesta protested.

“Yet,” Gwyn repeated, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

Cresseida laughed. “Well, let me know if you are seriously interested in adopting Miss Obsidian. There’s a few things you would need to keep in mind for her that we should talk about.”

Nesta nodded.

“What about Mer?” Gwyn asked. “Any special care she needs that I should know about?”

“Not really. We did have her on a special diet for a bit because she was slightly malnourished when we found her but she’s at a healthy weight now.”

Nesta walked away as Gwyn and Cresseida continued their animated discussion. How was she going to convince Cassian to adopt a cat? Actually, Nesta knew that wouldn’t be an issue — Cassian would surely jump at any opportunity to make her happy. The real question was how she was going to put aside her pride and admit that she wanted to adopt the cat. She would also have to see if Cassian wanted to adopt the cat, too, and not just for her sake. It would be unfair to both Cassian and the cat to bring her into a home where only one person truly loved her. Not that Cassian wouldn’t be kind to the cat, regardless — it was just that Nesta wanted Cassian to adopt the cat because it made him happy, instead of doing it for Nesta’s sake. 

Nesta was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she walked right into someone. 

“Excuse me,” Nesta apologized. The man turned around.

“You’re excused, Nes,” Cassian replied with a wink. 

“Oh, fuck you,” she groaned, holding back a smile. 

“I know I’m hot, but you’re gonna have to wait til we get home.” 

She replied with a soft punch to his shoulder. Cassian fell to the floor dramatically. 

A bark sounded from the kennel right in front of Cassian. Nesta quickly examined Cassian for any signs of fear, but he wasn’t flinching. Instead, he tugged gently on her arm. 

“Nes,” he said with a grin as she sat down beside him, “Let me introduce you to my new friend, Lina.” 

Nesta turned to find a large golden retriever wagging her tail energetically. She was beautiful and friendly, but she also definitely weighed more than twenty kilograms and had a full set of sharp teeth. In short, she was exactly the type of dog that Cassian would usually be uncomfortable around. 

Yet, here he was, saying, “Look, I know we agreed that we were just looking around and we weren’t going to adopt any pets but look at her! Her cute paws, that gorgeous fur, and those eyes! And she’s so happy to see me! Doesn’t it just make you want to keep her forever?”

His expression said it all: he’d fallen completely in love with this dog. 

“Cassian…” 

His expression dropped. “I know taking care of a pet is a lot of work. If we did adopt her, I would walk her and figure out her food and vet stuff, but she would be living with both of us, so I would never want to adopt her if you weren’t completely on board. And having a pet would affect our lifestyle and our day-to-day lives a lot, so I understand if you’d rather not adopt her.”

“Do you want to adopt her?” Nesta blurted out. 

Cassian looked confused. 

“I mean, she’s obviously a beautiful and friendly dog, but she’s in a kennel right now,” Nesta explained. “If we adopt her, she could jump on you or bite you or scratch you. Won’t you be on edge having a dog in our apartment all the time, even if you’re tired or having a rough day?” 

“All the other dogs I’ve met make me nervous, either when they bark or pant or just by being close to me. They remind me of rough times in my childhood, when I was scared and in danger. But for some reason, Lina is different. I don’t get any of that fear or anxiety around her. In fact, it’s the opposite. She makes me feel relaxed and happy. I think she actually makes me feel safe.” Cassian ran a hand through his hair. “Weird, huh?”

Nesta smiled. “I’m glad you found her. I still want you to take her for a walk before we sign anything if we’re going to adopt her.”

“Wait, but- We don’t need to adopt her just because I want to. If you don’t want a pet, you shouldn’t agree just for my sake,” he added hurriedly. Still, Nesta could see the corners of his mouth tilting up. 

“Yes, I want to adopt her! And,” Nesta continued, seeing Cassian opening his mouth to argue, “do you really think that I would ever agree to something I didn’t want to do, just for someone else’s sake?”

“Yeah, I do. I know you’re a big softie,” Cassian teased. 

She laughed. “Well, trust me, I do want to adopt a pet.”

“Of course she wants to!” Gwyn interjected, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “You should have seen her with that cat. It was like she’d found her twin flame! No offense, Cassian.”

“Wait, what cat?” he replied, befuddled. 

Nesta attempted to wave him off. “It’s nothing-”

“It’s not nothing!” Gwyn interrupted animatedly. “It’s her cat soulmate! A little ball of anger and adorable-ness, just like our little Nesta here.”

Nesta sent her friend a flat look. “Thanks a lot for that description.”

Gwyn just shrugged. “What? You know I’m right.” 

“Where can I find this cat?” Cassian asked. 

Gwyn pointed him in the right direction, telling him about all the ways in which the cat represented Nesta while pointedly ignoring Nesta’s calls of “No, it’s fine” and “You don’t need to go look at the cat” and “I don’t have spooky evil vibes!”. 

“Aww, look at her,” Cassian smiled as he crouched in front of the black cat’s kennel. 

The cat hissed in return.  

“You’re so beautiful, aren’t you? Yes, you are! Good girl!” cooed Cassian. 

The cat abruptly stopped hissing. She stared at him unblinkingly before purring quietly.

Gwyn erupted with laughter. “Wow, she really is just like Nesta, huh? Everything down to the praise ki-”

Her words were cut off as Nesta covered Gwyn’s mouth with her hand. 

“What the fuck, Gwyn! She’s a cat! That’s disgusting,” Nesta hissed in her ear. 

Gwyn licked Nesta’s palm, and used the moment Nesta recoiled as a distraction to pull her hand off. 

“I just tell it how I see it,” Gwyn declared. “And I have never once been disgusting.”

“Oh really?” Nesta replied, bringing the hand Gwyn had licked close to Gwyn’s face. 

Gwyn screeched and ran down to hide behind Cassian.

Cassian remained focused on the cat. “Oh, you’re such a sweetheart. What’s your name, baby?”

“She doesn’t have a name yet,” Nesta supplied, before bringing her licked hand around Cassian to reach for Gwyn. The redhead let out another shriek and ran. 

Nesta could see the moment Cassian melted. His posture seemed to go soft as his expression turned even more tender. 

“You don’t have a name yet, huh?” he murmured. “I guess you need a family to give you a name and a home and some love.”

She placed her non-licked hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. She didn’t need to ask to know that he was thinking of his own childhood — when he’d needed a home and a family, too. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered, “me and your mom are going to give you so much love.”

“Cass, are you sure?” she questioned gently. She ignored how it made her feel to hear him refer to her as ‘mom’. There was too much to unpack there, and she would save it for later, after they’d finished making important decisions. 

“Look at her, Nes,” he replied. “It’s like she was made for us.”

Nesta knew it was more than just about the resemblances between her and the cat that Gwyn had pointed out. It was about how this cat hissed and growled at strangers, putting her guard up, but really was just a sweet kitten who needed some love. Both of them could relate to putting on a tough face to hide how vulnerable and hurt they really were. She knew Cassian was thinking that this cat would be a perfect addition to their lives.

“But what about Lina?” Nesta insisted. 

“You love this cat. Don’t try to deny it, I can tell.”

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I think,” Cassian said carefully, “we both love this cat and we should adopt her.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “And what are we doing about the fact that we both love Lina?” 

This wasn’t just about the animals, and they both knew that. 

It wasn’t that Nesta didn’t think Cassian wanted to adopt the cat — she knew he really, truly did. But she also knew that he wanted to adopt Lina. She wouldn’t let him give up on his wishes and always put her needs above his. While she appreciated the sentiment, she also knew he had a tendency to discount his own desires. She needed him to know that what he wanted mattered just as much.

Cassian let out a big breath like a deflating mattress, the fight going out of him. 

“I love Lina, I do. And I know it’s so special that I feel so safe around her — around a big dog with sharp teeth. But Nes,” his voice took on a different tone, “at the end of the day, she’s a friendly golden retriever. I’m sure a million families with white picket fences are lining up to adopt her. And this cat… I mean, she doesn’t even have a name.” 

His Adam's apple bobbed.

“I know we could love either of them, and they’d be incredible. But at least with Lina, I know she’ll find someone else to take care of her. I don’t know if this cat will find that, and she’s too…” Cassian paused to search for a word. His nose scrunched in frustration as his vocabulary failed him. “She’s too precious for me to take that chance.” 

He needed his kitten to find a home. He couldn’t risk her never finding a family — not when he had so much love he could give her. 

Nesta contemplated silently. 

“Okay,” she finally said, her eyes piercing through him as though she intended to read his heart. “If you’re sure that’s what you want to do, we’ll get this cat.”

Cassian smiled. “Look at us, being real adults. Can you believe we’re going to be parenting this cutie?”

“Parenting,” repeated Nesta with a snort. “Don’t say it like that. It sounds like we’re having a baby or something. People are going to think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant?” Gwyn exclaimed, reappearing next to Nesta from wherever she’d run off to. She had clearly only caught the tail end of Nesta’s sentence. 

“Wow, I’m so excited to be an aunt! Do you know the sex yet? Wait, how far along do you need to be to know that? How many months are you, by the way?” Gwyn spoke too rapidly for anyone to get a word in. “I had no idea about this! How have you been hiding the morning sickness? Or does everyone know about this already? Oh, gosh, this is so exciting!” 

Nesta stayed silent, trying to hold in her smile. Cassian just looked bewildered. 

Gwyn gave Nesta a light hug. “Oh, wow, this is crazy! Am I the first one to know? Wait, is it ok if I tell people? You can tell me if it’s still a secret, don’t worry.” 

Cassian blinked. “No, that’s-”

“Oh, perfect!” Gwyn squealed. She reached over to hug Cassian, too. “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Emerie! Oh my god, and Az! His reaction is going to be insane!” 

She practically skipped down the hallway, her fingers already tapping away on her phone.

Cassian raised an eyebrow at Nesta. “What just happened?”

Nesta finally let out a laugh. “Just Gwyn being Gwyn, I suppose.”

“You don’t mind?”

“I’m actually curious to see how far this goes.” She leaned forward, pressing her side against him. “Do you think they’ll throw me a surprise baby shower?”

“Rhys is going to be so pissed I’m having a baby before him,” Cassian grinned. “It’ll be hilarious.”

“We could tell them we’re having a daughter,” Nesta added, jerking her head towards the kitten.

Cassian laughed. He stood up and stretched out his body, likely feeling a slight ache because he’d been crouching for several minutes. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “This is why I love you, you mastermind.”

His lips brought with them a wave of warmth that spread through her veins.

“Time to go tell Cresseida that we are going to adopt a pet after all,” Nesta chirped. 

Cassian groaned. “How about you go tell her, since you’re the one who was looking at this cat first,” he suggested.

“But you made the final decision,” she countered. 

“Well, no, I,” Cassian wracked his brain to find an excuse, “I think you would, uh, be better at filling out the paperwork.”

“Hmm,” Nesta tapped a finger to her chin and pretended to consider his offer, “How about… you do it?”

They were saved from their squabble when Gwyn reappeared with Cresseida in tow.

“So, can I take Mer home with me today or should I set up my place to be cat-ready first?” Gwyn was saying. 

“Ah, Cresseida! Just the person we were looking for!” Cassian interjected. “Nesta wanted to ask you something.”

Nesta sent him a frigid side eye that would have sent anyone else running for the hills, but only made Cassian grin. 

“We were thinking about adopting her,” Nesta said, pointing at the cat in question, “and were wondering what we need to do to make that happen? Is there just paperwork or something else we need to do?”

Cresseida’s expression changed completely. “I knew you would all walk out of here with pets!” she exclaimed triumphantly. Then she sobered slightly. “I’m so glad you’re interested in this cat, but like I mentioned earlier, there is something you should know.” 

Nesta nodded sharply. The anticipation and anxiety started to creep up on her. Was the cat sick? Or disabled in some way? Perhaps she and Cassian, as first time pet owners, weren’t equipped to give her the care she needed. 

“When we found her, she was only about two months old,” Cresseida explained. “We’re not quite sure what happened to her mother, since she didn’t seem to be with her family. But she had already bonded to another animal. They’re still quite close. Even though they’re generally kept in separate kennels, we usually let them play with each other once or twice a day, or she’ll start to get antsy. If at all possible, it would be best not to separate them. It may be possible for her to get used to living without her bonded friend, especially if she’s in an environment where she’s well-loved and taken care of, but it would be very difficult on both of them. So if you would consider adopting both of them, that would really be for the best.”

“Like, another cat?” Nesta inquired.

“It’s not Mer, is it?” Gwyn asked, looking worried. “If it is, I guess I’m going to have to move in with Nesta and Cassian.” Her face suddenly brightened. “I can be like a live-in nanny!”

“No, it’s not Mer,” Cresseida replied, “and it’s actually not another cat. It’s quite a unique situation. We’re still not sure how these two found each other and came to be bonded, but the other animal is actually a dog.”

“Oh.” Nesta felt her heart sink. She would hate to separate the cat from the one other animal that had been with her since she was a baby, but she also couldn’t adopt a dog. She wouldn’t allow Cassian to feel unsafe in his own home. 

“We could adopt both-” Cassian began, just as she knew he would.

“No,” she cut in. She didn’t care if it made her seem like the villain in Cresseida’s eyes. “I’m sorry, we can’t.”

Her eyes shifted to the kitten once more. The cat truly was adorable. Nesta would miss her tremendously, even though they’d only just met. Still, she couldn’t separate her from the friend who’d become her family. She would have to let her go. It hurt, but she knew it was for the best.

“I don’t think we’ll adopt her after all,” Nesta said. Though she had once prided herself on hiding her true emotions from the world, she could tell that both Gwyn and Cassian instantly read the meaning behind her aloof tone. 

“Yeah, you’re right, that’s probably the right decision,” Gwyn supplied. “Adopting pets and having a baby at the same time would be really hard.”

Cassian kept silent. She knew he was itching to deny it, to demand that she adopt the cat anyway, his feelings be damned. She was glad that he knew her well enough that she would not be swayed, and that his well-being mattered more to her than anything else. 

Cresseida sighed, disappointed. “I understand,” she said, resigned. “Dogs aren’t for everyone, especially if you have a lot on your plate. This dog really is the sweetest, although if you are allergic, a golden retriever wouldn’t be the right breed.”

“Hold on, did you say a golden retriever?” Cassian interjected. “You’re not talking about Lina, are you?”

Cresseida looked surprised. “I am, actually. I assume you’ve already made her acquaintance, then?”

“Wait, you’re saying we can adopt both Lina and this cat? And they wouldn’t fight or hurt each other?” Cassian repeated, as though he couldn’t believe his ears. It sounded too good to be true.

“They do play-fight occasionally, but no, they don’t hurt each other and they get along great. But, I understand that you can’t adopt a dog,” Cresseida answered, slightly confused. 

Cassian turned to Nesta. 

“Did you hear that, Nes? We can adopt them both.” 

He was beaming. 

“They’re so perfect,” he repeated as they brought Lina and the cat home a week later, after they’d made all the necessary preparations. “It’s like we were made to find them.”

She felt like she was floating, swept up by the exuberance in his eyes.

When she watched the kitten curl up in Cassian’s lap while Lina sat beside them, a paw resting against the cat’s back, she couldn’t find a name for the feeling that bubbled up inside her. The only viable contenders — love and contentment — seemed too small to capture it all.

When Cassian later asked her what she wanted to name the cat, she looked at the life they’d built together — the bookshelves lined with hockey history books and romance novels, the kitchen counter where Cassian’s favorite chocolate lay beside her mountainous tea collection, the polaroid pictures of them stuck to the fridge with magnets, and the pets filling their home with affection — and replied, “Ataraxia.”

Peace. 

__________

Present day

“I can’t even bring Ara and Lina around Cresseida anymore,” Cassian grumbled. “She always just talks about how incredible it was that we actually believed we’d leave her shelter without a pet.”

“She’s a menace,” Nesta agreed, though her words lacked any real bite. 

They both adored Cresseida, and were delighted at how happy she made Emerie. It was only that Cresseida shared their friend group’s penchant for teasing their friend mercilessly. 

“Her cooking is amazing though, so she makes up for it,” Nesta continued. “I had no idea vegan food could taste that good until I met her.”

“Speaking of cooking…” Cassian pointed to the last photo. It was labeled ‘cooking breakfast’.

Nesta leaned in closer to inspect the image. “When was this?”

“What? You don’t remember?” Cassian gasped in mock offense.

Then, he took her hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll remind you.”

__________

Three months ago

Cassian awoke to the birds chirping and the smell of pancakes permeating the air. He rolled over in bed, reaching out for Nesta, only to find her side of the bed empty. 

He let out a small sigh. 

It was a Saturday morning, and his favorite thing to do on weekends when they didn’t have anything planned was to spend lazy mornings in bed with her. During the week, both of them were too busy to linger in bed. Snoozing their alarms once was the extent of their indulgence. 

But on weekends, Cassian liked to savor the feeling of Nesta lying beside him. He would lay in silence, taking it all in — the blankets warmed by their body heat, the way Nesta’s hair glowed in the morning light, the gentle pressuring of her body laying against his. Eyes half-open, he would breathe deeply and allow the peaceful contentment to fill his lungs. When Nesta woke up, there would be time for slow kisses, quiet conversations, and tender lovemaking. Their room would fill with soft but unbound laughter and playful quips. Later, they would make their way to the kitchen. One of them (usually Cassian) would cook brunch while the other did the dishes, swept the floor, or started a load of laundry. 

This morning, it seemed that Nesta had broken their usual routine. 

As Cassian rolled out of bed, his eyes caught the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was 10:05 am, far later than he usually woke up on weekends. Cassian was almost always the first to wake, generally around 8 or 9 am, and he’d lay patiently until Nesta gained consciousness around 9:30. 

Clearly, he’d been exhausted last night. It had been a long day of training, and then they’d gone out for dinner with his friends. After coming home, he and Nesta had watched a movie and then spent an hour tussling in their sheets. He’d fallen asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. 

Cassian pulled on a pair of dark jeans and strolled out of the bedroom without bothering to find a shirt. 

He found Nesta at the stove, flipping a pancake. She looked ethereal with her long hair down and shimmering in the light that flowed through the window. 

“Morning, Nes,” he said after taking a moment to appreciate the view. 

Nesta’s long legs were bare. She was dressed only in his striped button-up shirt which ended right below her butt. As she turned towards him, he could see that she hadn’t bothered to do up all the buttons on his shirt. The V dipped deep enough that, had she been wearing a bra, lacy bits would have peeked out, but she’d clearly thrown the shirt on without it. Was she wearing any underwear?

She sent him a small smile in greeting. 

“Can’t believe you didn’t bother to wake me up,” he teased as he pulled one of the hair ties off his wrist and put his probably messy hair into a neat bun. 

“Well, it seems like I tired you out last night and you clearly needed your beauty sleep,” she shot back. 

“Are you trying to imply that I didn’t tire you out?” 

She shot him a smirk. “Well, I was up first, wasn’t I?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, even as he held back a smile. He loved this easy back-and-forth, joking banter. “I’ll have to remedy that tonight,” he declared. 

“Aww, did I bruise your little ego?” 

She moved the pancake to a plate, and poured more batter into the pan. 

“There’s nothing little about me,” he joked before walking up behind her and gently wrapping his arms around her. He was careful to steer clear of her arms, so that they wouldn’t accidentally touch the pan or the stove and get burned. 

He rested his head in the crook of her neck. “I missed you this morning,” he whispered. 

“Couldn’t survive a few minutes without me?” she answered. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear her smile in the warmth of her tone. 

“You know I’d be lost without you,” he answered. His tone was light and humorous, but his words were no less sincere.

She let out a small, fond chuckle. “Good thing I was only making breakfast then.”

He inhaled deeply. The smell of her vanilla and jasmine conditioner mixed with the sandalwood scent that lingered on his shirt. His neck was at a slightly awkward angle, bent down to accommodate Nesta’s forward-leaning posture as she cooked, but Cassian knew he’d be happy standing like this forever. 

He stayed there for a few minutes, until Nesta stilled in his arms. He knew she needed to move in order to put the pancake on a plate and couldn’t do so with Cassian wrapped around her, but she also didn’t want him to let go. 

He waited for a heartbeat, then gave her a slight squeeze before unwinding his arms. Before pulling away completely, he pressed a light kiss to the back of her neck.

Then, he walked over to the utensil drawer to start setting the table. 

When he sat down, his eyes flickered to Nesta’s figure, waiting for her to join him. He was itching to serve himself one of the pancakes in the middle of the table and bite into deliciousness. They smelled absolutely incredible. 

However, Nesta walked over with the pan still in her hand. She plopped the pancake from her pan straight onto his plate. Unlike the other pancakes, it wasn’t shaped like a circle.

“It was misshapen, so it reminded me of your face,” she quipped as she sat down after putting her pan in the sink. 

“Very funny.” He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop his smile. The pancake was shaped like a perfect heart. 

As they dug into their food, Cassian felt the domesticity seep into him. He knew how the rest of the day would likely go. They’d wash up together, and then Cassian would head out for a run with Lina while Nesta curled up on the couch with a book. He’d come home and shower, then make her a cup of tea. Later, they’d change the bedsheets, make a list of the groceries they needed to pick up, and chat, before watching a movie or ordering takeout. They’d end up having sex on the couch or in the shower — anywhere but on their freshly changed sheets — and then fall asleep curled around each other with Cassian’s arm slung over Nesta’s waist. 

Their lives had fallen into a routine. And Cassian loved it. This peaceful life they’d built together could never be boring — not when they always filled it with so much playfulness and their jobs were filled with drama by necessity. The regularity was a blessing, not a curse. When Cassian walked through the doors to this apartment, he felt the tension of the outside world fade away. He felt at home.

He loved the life they had created together, and couldn’t imagine anything better than having mornings like this one for the rest of his life. 

The thought should have shocked him, but it did not. He’d known for a long time that this was coming, but it was only now that it had fully sunk in.

He looked across the table at Nesta and caught her eye.

“What?” she asked with a grin.

He reached over and laced his pinky with hers. 

“Nothing.” He smiled. “I love you.”

She shook her head fondly at his cheesiness, but still replied, “I love you.” 

He wanted to declare his love for her in front of the whole world, and then spend the rest of his life with her. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend his life than dedicating it to loving her. 

That day, he started researching rings. 

__________

Present day

“I love you,” said Cassian. His eyes shone brightly. “I love all the moments we’ve spent together and the memories we’ve made.”

He walked around the table where the pictures lay and grasped her hands. 

“I do too.” Nesta, although still confused by their impromptu outpour of emotion, was always eager to remind Cassian of just how much she adored him. “I love you so much.”

Cassian smiled. She could see that a million thoughts were swirling in his mind, but he took a breath to focus himself.

“I love you,” he said once more, as though he couldn’t help himself, just like he had after he’d first said the words. He’d been like a child who’d never been allowed sweets who had just been given a box of chocolates — he marveled at the fact that he had love in his grasp and he gorged himself on it, basking in the delight that he could say the words whenever he wished. 

“Every minute, every second I get to spend with you is precious to me,” he continued. “Whether we’re at a party, a restaurant, a vacation, a match, or doing chores at home, every moment with you turns to gold. You made my life so beautiful and meaningful and happy, Nesta, in a way I never even imagined was possible. Even in the harshest moments, I know I’ll be okay because I get to come home to you every night. You’ve helped me learn how to live, not just survive. Because of you, I can love openly. Because of you, I can be myself without worrying that I’m too much. Because of you, I can let myself feel joy, instead of constantly worrying that it’s going to be ripped away from me. I can only hope that I can make you half as happy as you make me.”

“You make me happier than I ever thought possible,” Nesta answered. She was certain there were tears in her eyes, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind. There were so many things that she could say — how the world had appeared cold and cruel, just like her reflection in the mirror, until she’d seen it all through his eyes. She would never stop being inspired by him — how was it possible for him to be so kind when the world had been so awful to him? How was it that he got wholeheartedly excited when it snowed, despite knowing the stinging pain of a cold night on the streets? His joy was infectious, and now she couldn’t help but admire the beauty in every little thing — children skipping down the sidewalk, the leaves changing color, and the birds chirping in the morning. 

Yet, she couldn’t find the words. How could she express the magnitude of her emotions for him, and just how much he’d changed her life? All she could do was look at him. 

He squeezed her hands gently and she knew he understood.

“You’ve made me a better man.” His voice was slightly raspy as emotion clogged his throat. “My life is so much fuller with you in it. We’ve made so many beautiful memories,” he said, gesturing to the pictures with one hand, “and I want to dedicate the rest of my life to making more. It would be the greatest honor to spend my life by your side. I want to fill that table with a million — a billion — more memories.”

“So, Nesta Archeron,” He released her hands. She blinked in surprise and found him kneeling before her, a small box open in his hands with something sparkling inside. “Will you marry me?”

Her gaze had gotten blurred with tears, but she blinked them away now. 

Cassian cut a stunning figure as he looked up at her, rose petals and candles glowing around him. His outfit flattered his body — the wine-red shirt showed off his muscular arms without being too tight and contrasted his skin tone well, bringing attention to his soft blush and curved lips to highlight his joy. His long hair was as glorious as usual, half of it pulled into a bun. 

Still, it was the look in his eyes that caught her attention. His beautiful hazel eyes, framed by his long, dark lashes, sparkled not only with love and joy, but also with breathtaking certainty. Unlike during that bookstore date so long ago, Cassian was secure in their love. She could see in his eyes that, even if she said no, he would not doubt their relationship for a moment. 

But of course, there was only one answer she would give to this wondrous man. He had come into her life like a fire, warming her and brightening her life in innumerable ways. 

“Yes.”

__________

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[oldiesstationlover11607]

just read your ‘Welcome to the black parade’ fic and it was amazing! Could you maybe write a part 2? Only if you’re comfortable with that ofc, have a nice day! /gen

Welcome to The Black Parade part 2 - Gerard Way x reader

A/N: thank you for reading my work! And thank you even more to requesting something! I love writing requests because it’s good to challenge myself! I wasn’t sure how to add to the story but I definitely left room for more parts if people want them!

Warnings: death, swearing?, being shot, internal judgement of others, drug overdose mentioned, Frank being annoyingly cute 😭

yes, I know the photo is of Frank but it matches the story so 🤷‍♀️

It didn’t take me long to get changed into the black and silver uniform. It fit tightly against my body extenuating the features I already had. Gerard and the others had waited outside the room while I’d gotten changed and I could hear them whispering harshly. 

“I’m done,” I mumble, pushing back the curtain to see a vast gray landscape and what looked like a city on the horizon. The air smelt like a mixture of a hot, humid summer day and New York City. Don’t ask how I got there. 

“Woah.” I dart my head in the direction of the voice to see Ray punch Frank in the arm and flash him a disapproving look. They both lead the way while we walk towards the city, Mikey trailing behind them. Gerard and I walk a little further back, slower than the others. I look forward but reflect on Gerard’s change of look. His hair is still black, longer than it was when it was white, more scruffy and grown out. I wonder what he looked like before he died or if he chose his image. 

“Technically both,” he speaks, turning to me. I try to hide my shock that he knew what I was thinking. “Sorry. It’s a habit. When I got here I could read people’s minds. I don’t really know how it works but it’s hard to shut off.” I try to smile but being reminded that I’m dead and not on Earth makes it a struggle. 

“It’s okay. You know, you’re really not as scary as I thought you’d be. Other than the skeleton hand.” We finally reach what looks like a parade float and the others climb up on it. Gerard jumps up and offers me a gloved helping hand. 

“Thanks? I promise my hands were normal when I was alive.” We all sit down and the float starts moving in the direction of the city. 

“Wait, so how did you guys die?” I ask. Mikey lets out a sigh, pointing to himself,

“drug overdose.” Ray speaks next. 

“Natural causes.” To this Frank laughs and Ray shoots him a look similar to the one from before. 

“Well I got shot. 13 times.” I feel shock run through my face. “Don’t worry babe, it was 100% my fault. It was 15 years ago anyway.” I nod, trying to not pass judgment. He looked like the type of person to be involved in crime, yet somehow I believed there was more to his story. Yes, he had black gauges in his ears and was covered in tattoos but he seemed kind, almost lighthearted. My mother used to warn me about people like him. I grew up utterly terrified of people covered with tattoos until I actually met some and realized an irrational fear of tattoos was ridiculous. Then I got my own, a little music note on my wrist and a ghost on my thigh. We all turn to look at Gerard to hear his story but he simply shakes his head. His hair jumps across his face as he does this. It somehow looks unclean and pretty at the same time. 

“We don’t talk about how I died. It’s not something I talk about nor ever intend to talk about.” 

“Wait really?” I ask, tilting my head. The leader of this group doesn’t even tell his own death story yet feels like he can be the savior of everyone who comes in here dead. 

Frank scoffs, “The only one who knows other than Gee is Mikey because he was fucking there. But what I really want to know my dear, is how you so kindly hit the grave.” This is when I realize. The moment I try my hardest to reflect on every moment before I woke up here. The deadline of the heart rate machine and the white curtains of what I believe was a hospital room, the sounds and smells of the room. But then it dawns on me. 

I have no idea. 

Gerard rests a hand on my arm with a concerned look plastered on his face. 

“Oh that’s not good,” Ray remarks, clearly noticing Gerard’s reaction. 

“That’s never happened before,” Mikey notes. Gerard grips my arm firmly.

“It’s okay Y/N we’ll figure it out. I’m sure you’ll remember soon it’ll be oka-”

“And if you don’t then consider yourself lucky!” Frank interrupts, a large grin strung across his face. I nod trying to seem calm but really, I’m freaking out. I take a deep breath and put on a brave face as I look out at the city which moves continuously closer as the parade float moves along the infinitely flat ground. I wonder what’s in the city, who lives there. But something tells me it’ll be nothing I can imagine. And that very same feeling tells me that things are gonna change pretty soon. 

//

Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to request fics!

[hezzabeth]

Revati stormed out into the hot, heavy darkness. Everything was quiet and still, the dead hair dryer was smoking. In the distance, someone was singing. Revati walked towards it, her feet stumbling over tree roots. Bridgadeiro Bun was sitting next to a tree.

"I told you to wait at camp," Revati gently scolded him.

"I got bored! Are you ready to go? Mama hates it when I'm late for Apple day Dinner," Bridgadeiro taking her hand.

It was a new vibrant gesture.

One that for a long time Revati never dared wished for.

A gesture that began a few short months ago with a dance.

Bridgadeiro's eyes suddenly widened with surprise and he gasped. A thick plastic cord had sprung from the feel, wrapping itself around his neck.

Three hair dryers remained, and Revati had one more to confront.

"Will you please just let him go? I have a weapon," Revati addressed the darkness.

An older hair dryer appeared, its black cord attached to its base.

"You humans killed my husband, the least I can do is kill yours," the hair dryer said in a lady's voice. Strictly speaking, the appliances didn't actually need electric cords or genders, or spouses for that matter. For a species that despises humans, they did seem to copy them quite a bit.

"He's not my husband!" Revati pointed out. In truth, she wasn't sure what Bridgadeiro was. When she said goodbye to him four years ago at the end of an empty train ride, she was sure she'd never see him again. But then a week or so later, he appeared "just to check up on his tent." This happened quite often, no matter where Revati went. When he wasn't visiting, he sent messages to Revati's bangle, photos of random things he had spotted, such as a butterfly on a garbage bin, sincere questions about what she was up to. Every year, Revati put her foot down and insisted on traveling back to Olde Landon for Diwali, and every year for three years running, Bridgadeiro Bun was waiting at the gates.

One year he had actually, much to everyone's horror, brought the infamous ex-girlfriend, Margarine. She was a short and extraordinarily pretty girl with freckles and Snow White hair. Whenever she stood next to Bridgadeiro, she clung to his arm in a way that showed off her cleavage. They stayed for the entire two-week festival. Margarine kept exclaiming over how "adorable" everything was while also bragging about her family's "modern living orb." She insisted on sleeping with Bridgadeiro in the greenhouse but complained the next morning about how the soil bags hurt her back. It seemed like she was obsessed with getting every single resident's name wrong. Needless to say, everyone was happy when Bridgadeiro arrived alone the next year.

"Then you don't care if I kill him?" the hair dryer asked.

"Of course I care!" Revati protested. Last Diwali, during Lakshmi Pujan, Bridgadeiro had helped her walk up and down Baker Street, handing out firecrackers to all the residents.

"I can't believe you brought these all the way from your space station!" Revati remarked.

"Well, your Nanni said last year she missed being able to say goodbye to your ancestors properly," he said with a small shrug.

"You're far too helpful! Look at everything you've done," Revati remarked, gesturing about. The plants Bridgadeiro had grown on Baker Street were still thriving. Several of Dusk's students were picking winter berries.

"It's not that much, and it's the least I can do," he replied.

"You repaid me for saving your life a long time ago," Revati said, glancing toward him. They were standing so close together their hands were almost touching. When Revati turned her head toward him, she briefly felt one of his cotton candy curls brush against her cheek.

"Oh no, I do all these things because I like you," he replied. The space between them was very close. In the distance, Revati could hear the whoosh and bang of firecrackers.

Revati swung the mace with a practiced, perfect motion, slamming it into the hair dryer. The air filled with beautiful bright sunlight, and the hair dryer collapsed. Bridgadeiro fell to the ground, still gasping desperately.

"Did you... have to kill her?" Bridgadeiro gasped.

"She's an AI machine; they're probably uploading her brain into a new dishwasher as we speak," Revati reassured him.

There was a clanking sound, and the android appeared.

"Good evening, your majesty," Bridgadeiro wheezed.

"I thought you told your pet clown to wait at the tent," the android remarked coldly as Revati helped Bridgadeiro up.

"He got bored," Revati said as Bridgadeiro brushed down the front of his blue-checked shirt.

"No real harm done! Do you want to head back to the tent to get your luggage?" Bridgadeiro asked Revati, who nodded as something twisted in her stomach. Nerves.

In the year 3556, there were exactly four hundred and eighty-seven major religions across the solar system. There were the old classics such as Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. There were the meta religions such as the Lovecraftians who worshiped fictional kings in yellow. There were the cults that worshiped objects such as carrots and shoes. Then there were the historical figure faiths. The Church of Dollyhart. The Temple of Sweet Baby Elvis. One of the largest historical religions was, of course, "Goupism," or as Nanni called it, "That parasite cult."

As far as Revati could tell, Goupism centered around a beautiful lady who long ago stole hundreds of ideologies. Of course, "Goupers" didn't call it that. They called it "mindful integration."

Bridgadeiro wasn't a religious nut. He didn't force people to wear nothing but an assigned color. He also didn't spray people with "psychic vampire" spray. He did, however, have faith. Faith wasn't something Revati really encountered.

"So, this holiday you're taking me to is to celebrate the existence of apples?" Revati confirmed as they stumbled upwards in the dark.

"Apples, ridiculous! In my court, we only attend festivals that are at least a thousand years old," the android remarked, its eyes lighting the way.

"It's to celebrate both apples and the goddess's daughter. It's about how such a simple universal fruit can be used to fulfill so many needs," Bridgadeiro explained to the android.

"I do like apple juice and apple pie," Revati conceded.

"Not to mention apple cider," Bridgadeiro added.

Up ahead, Bridgadeiro's tent shimmered in the dark. When Revati first heard about Bridgadeiro's tent, she was expecting an all-terrain raincoat propped up on a stick. Instead, the tent was a massive blood-red bioluminescent mushroom. As they approached the tent, Bridgadeiro gently pushed aside some of the fungus, creating a small opening. Once they were inside, the fungus sealed behind them. The inside of the tent was filled with sinister red light. A light Revati had long ago gotten used to.

"You know in my court, we have a massive Chocovale festival! We create an entire palace using only the finest Neptunian cocoa," the android declared as Revati grabbed her luggage. Her luggage consisted of a battered backpack stuffed to the top.

"That's nice," Revati replied. It was best to act as polite and dull as possible whenever the android went on one of her "court" rants.

"Never settle for apples when you can have chocolate, my dear," the android replied, and Revati smacked the android with the side of her bag.

"I thought we agreed when I signed my working contract that you would stay out of my personal life!" Revati snapped back.

Four years ago, Revati had been nothing more than an unpaid sidekick. Three years ago, however, when it became obvious that Dityaa did not want to be found, Revati almost went home. Then the android started doing something extraordinary. The android started paying her. Paying her to follow along, changing parts, and polishing metal as they traveled from city to city. Paying her to fight off bandits who were trying to steal the android's eyes. Sometimes it seemed like she paid Revati just to listen. Revati didn't want to think about being a ghost haunting an android for money.

"We did, but your personal life is interfering with your work! We are so close to finding Perdita! Closer than we've ever been! And you're running off to pick apples with your beau," the android snapped.

Revati glared at the android before grabbing Bridagdeiro by shirt and defiantly kissing him.

"My holiday break started twenty minutes ago! If I want to pick apples, I will pick apples," Revati spat back after letting a shocked Bridgadeiro go.

"We don't actually pick the apples on apple day; we did that two weeks ago," Bridgadeiro remarked, touching his lips and looking stunned.

"Really, Revati? You can do so much better than this! Once I find Perdita, I can find you a spouse that rules an entire moon," the android sighed, and Revati folded her arms.

"Maternity droid, open up battery-saving mode," Revati said.

"Don't you dare!" The android shrieked.

"Enter sleep mode until the battery is fully charged," Revati said, and the android slowly made a clicking sound as it powered down.

"Her battery won't start charging until the sun rises, and then we'll have ten hours," Revati said, pulling a small eye dropper out of her pants pocket. Carefully, she squeezed a drop of liquid onto the tent's walls, and they exploded in a cloud of glittery spores. Revati put the eye dropper away and pulled out a small plastic box, using it to scoop up some of the spores.

Revati was going to reluctantly miss the rainforest; it was nice being able to go out at night without freezing to death.

"You kissed me," Bridgadeiro stammered as Revati put the box away.

"I kissed you to prove a point," Revati replied, holding up a hand.

"The last time you did that, you said it was never going to happen again," Bridgadeiro replied, gently grabbing her hand.

Revati stared at it briefly, remembering last Diwali, the fireworks crackling in the sky, Bridgadeiro's hair smelling like lemon and spices.

"Because of Margarine! You kept breaking up and getting back together with her so many times it gave me psychic whiplash," Revati said, snatching her hand away.

"And I told you that night it was done," Bridgadeiro said gently. It was that same gentle voice that so many fell in love with. Everyone adored Bridgadeiro, the way people loved marshmallows and pillows.

"And I told you I'm nobody's second choice," Revati said firmly before scanning the dark, trying to find the track that eventually led to the forest's main town.

The sort of people who loved Revati were the crazy ones who loved ghost peppers and hardback chairs.

"You're not second! I invited you to Apple day," Bridgadeiro said as Revati began to walk down the path, leaving the sleeping android behind.

"Let's just keep going! The town is an hour's walk away," Revati replied.

"Can I hold your hand? You might slip in the dark," Bridgadeiro replied.

"Fine," Revati conceded. In the buzzing insect darkness, someone watched them go.