#photo by redscharlach

[redscharlach]

Today I went to Harrods and they have a fossilized triceratops skull on display. It's absolutely massive – around six feet long. It's available for sale but the price is only available by special request, so I'm guessing nobody's going to buy it for me.

[blatantescapism]

Re: “Wellington had to put it somewhere people would see it, or he’d offend the Prince” the man created an entire massive art gallery / banquet room because he had so many art gifts he was socially obligated to display. It’s not like his only choice was to put it in the stairway!

The staircase is at the heart of the house. It is the ONLY staircase. (Ignoring the tiny, narrow stairs hidden away for the servants.)

Immediately after Wellington was given the statue, he had the floor of the staircase redone, specifically so that it would be strong enough to support the weight of the statue. He moved the statue into place as SOON as it was ready to go.

A few years later he did a bunch of house renovations, including redesigning the staircase.

The way that fancy railing curves perfectly around the statue? Creating a well-proportioned frame, mirroring the angles of the statue’s arms? That’s deliberate.

The way anyone walking up the stairs will be at the perfect position and height to make direct eye contact with Napoleon’s marble face? That’s deliberate!

Image descriptions under the cut:

[Image description: First image: A tweet by RedScharlach. “The most interesting thing about Apsley House, former home of the Duke of Wellington, is that there’s a massive naked statue of Napoleon at the bottom of the stairs. Because having an unrealistically hunky nude of your arch-enemy on public display doesn’t raise ANY questions.” A photo of the marble statue is shown below. It is massive, over 11 feet tall. Napoleon’s left hand holds a staff made of gilded bronze, and his right holds a small gilded bronze figurine of Winged Victory atop the Globe. He has a cloak draped over his left shoulder, hanging in a way that evokes a Roman toga but does not cover his body. A sculpted fig leaf covers his penis, but he is otherwise nude. The sculptor, Antonio Canova, chose to take many artistic liberties with Napoleon’s actual appearance, in order to sculpt an idealized, more virile form. The sculpture stands in the oval-shaped stairwell of the grand staircase at the center of the house. The staircase has a fancy, gilded, early Rococo railing, and curves around the sculpture perfectly.

Next image: screenshots taken from other parts of the same tweet thread. Some parts are cut off.

“The statue shows Napoleon as Mars the Peacemaker and is by Antonio Canova, who insisted on making it a nude because that was Heroic and Classical and Manly TM. Originally he presented it to Napoleon himself, who basically said “…um, okay” and stashed it somewhere discreet.

After Wellington’s forces beat Napoleon at Waterloo, the British seized a load of Napoleon’s art collections and presented the statue to Wellington, because well, who doesn’t want to gaze upon their unrealistically hunky nude nemesis on the regular? (I certainly do.)”

“is huge. Over 11 feet tall, as I said. I am 5 foot 9, so when I walked up to the statue, the Napoleonic fig leaf was RIGHT at my eye level. Plus, the leaf covers Boney’s bone but not his balls.

Arthur Wellesley, First Duke of Wellington, was 5 foot 9 inches tall. So when he walked into his own hallway, a marble-hewn enlargement of his arch-enemy’s scrotum, the size of an overgrown grapefruit, was hanging RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS NOSE.

Here ends this art-historical thread.”

Below, there is a painted portrait of Wellington’s face, and a cropped photo of the groin of the statue, photoshopped side by side so that Wellington is staring at Napoleon’s balls.

End ID. /]

Sorry I wasn't listening to you, I was thinking about the Duke of Wellington's personal 11-foot-tall statue of nude, totally jacked Napoleon.

Twitter thread! (and yes Kate Beaton's "Nemesis" comic comes up)

[theconservativebrief]

Knickers the cow has temporarily delighted what seems like everyone on the entire internet by … being a really big cow.

Okay, more accurately, the 2,800-pound Holstein-Friesian is a steer who makes his home at farmer Geoff Pearson’s cattle ranch in Western Australia. Australian media put Knickers on blast after the animal was saved from the slaughterhouse because he was deemed too big to be sold at auction. Potential buyers said he was too large to fit into their farm equipment; at 6 feet, 4 inches tall, he may well tie the current world record for biggest cow (but really steer) ever.

But there’s no need to be pedantic about whether the big cow is really a big cow. If you saw the viral photo of Knickers and said, “Wow, that’s an extremely big cow,” you’re basically right.

That fuckin cow, it’s too big guys. They accidentally made too big a cow. I���m stressed out just looking at it. Cow’s too big.

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 28, 2018

And I’m not going to spoil the fun by reminding you that Knickers is a steer. After all, steer jokes aren’t nearly as satisfying. “Holy steer?” No, it’s got to be “Holy cow,” or what is even the point of having a giant viral bovine in our midst?

Here at Vox, we are strong advocates for trying to trace internet memes back to the wellspring of cultural interests and anxieties from which they usually spring. And there have already been a couple of attempts to connect Knickers to broader concerns, such as they are:

People: “If only there were some good news sometimes.” The internet: “Here’s a really big cow.” People: “Close enough for now.”

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) November 27, 2018

“too fat to be killed” is a 2019 mood, sincere congrats to knickers the cow

— monica heisey (@monicaheisey) November 28, 2018

But regardless of whether Knickers is an apt vehicle for social commentary or just a funny animal who’s fun to joke about on the internet, one thing seems clear from a single glance at the animal: His down-home country charm and inviting persona — even though he’s a steer and thus unavailable for milking — are part of the shift in internet culture away from irony and toward wholesome memes.

Astute internet commentators have characterized that shift as being encapsulated in a trend in our collective internet proclivities away from cats (cynical, wry, highly conditional love) and toward dogs (wholesome, pure, highly unconditional love). In this context, perhaps we can view Knickers’s instant virality as a symbol of our longing to embrace a symbol of simpler, less complicated times. What’s a more immediate image to call to mind “cozy pastoral lives with small communities and no internet” than a cow?

Twitter today is very much like living in a medieval village. Our lives are shitty but we all get quite excited when we see a particularly big cow.

— RedScharlach (@redfacts) November 28, 2018

i identify deeply with the too-large cow

— Naomi Fry (@frynaomifry) November 28, 2018

Then again, it’s not as if Knickers is the first cow to get the meme treatment. After all, it’s only been a year since many people spent several hours glued to the saga of a runaway cow in Brooklyn. And it’s not like other, more cynical animals haven’t been clamoring for their moment in the online spotlight: After all, raccoons have been on the rise lately — quite literally — and it’d be difficult to find a more cynical edgelord in all of the animal kingdom.

At any rate, if you’re reading this and thinking that trying to link Knickers to the cultural zeitgeist is a bit of a stretch, then how, now, let’s avow: Sometimes, a cow is just a cow. (Or a steer.)

Good morning. Today is yours. Be the giant cow you want to see in the world.

— Amanda Deibert ️‍ (@amandadeibert) November 28, 2018

Original Source -> That really big cow is a steer named Knickers. Long may he meme.

via The Conservative Brief

[redscharlach]

Tentacle time at Leadenhall Market, London, courtesy of an installation by Hoxton Monster Supplies.

I can’t decide if it’s one octopoid underbeast coming up from the bowels of the earth, or two octopoid underbeasts who came through the wrong portals and have ended up yearning at each other from neighbouring pockets of reality.

[redscharlach]

The retrofuturist glory of Pannenhuis metro station in Brussels. It's like the 1970s space-travelling shopping mall of my dreams.

[redscharlach]

Art Nouveau brooch (1902) by Philippe Wolfers, representing the goddess Nike. Part of the collection of the Musées Royaux d'Art et d'Histoire in Brussels.

[redscharlach]

Tara Donovan, Untitled (Mylar), 2011

Magical sparkly spaceballs, currently on show at the Hayward Gallery London, as part of the exhibition When Forms Come Alive.

[redscharlach]

Today I went to the Collect 2024 art fair at Somerset House and saw lots of wonderful decorative art. Here's just a small selection.

[redscharlach]

Saw the lovely Orchid Festival at Kew Gardens today. A particular favourite flower was this one, which on closer examination seems to be a little cartoon lady going “yay!”

[redscharlach]

Antony Gormley's sculpture Reflection (2001) stands inside and outside an office block on Euston Road, London. But the block's being redeveloped at the moment, so for protective purposes, Indoor Guy has been temporarily encased in a… well, I'm not sure what it is. A box? A wardrobe? A coffin? A fridge? Outdoor Guy can only watch helplessly, but Indoor Guy is putting a brave face on it.

Meanwhile Outdoor Guy's buttocks grow shinier by the year. Bless the pervy public.

[redscharlach]

I went to the Collect 23 craft fair at Somerset House today, which is a showcase for British and international decorative artists of all kinds. Here are some of my favourite glass and ceramic objects from the many hundreds on display.

[redscharlach]

Today I visited Dorich House Museum in Kingston Vale, West London, which is the former home of modernist Estonian sculptor Dora Gordine (1895-1991) and is full of her excellent artworks. It's free to visit and pretty cool if you're in the area.

[redscharlach]

Went to Holland Park today and saw lots of irises and columbines. A riot of purples!

[redscharlach]

The pelicans of St James Park are massive, beaky and adorable. And the feathers on their necks and heads are so fuzzy and delicate.

[redscharlach]

Today I met the alpacas of Vauxhall City Farm and fell in love.

[redscharlach]

This is the magnificent ceiling of the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge. I love Atlantids generally, but I've never see any that look quite as pleased with themselves as these guys.

Oh yeah, he knows he's got it.