#phissire

[moiraineswife]

can you do the ship meme you answered with philippa and whoever else you'd like to answer it for please?

u can indeed!!!!!! i’m going to take advantage of you nonnie and answer this with the last two f/f ships I haven’t done yet. (since I’ve already done Sheala and Triss it seems reasonable to just make things neat and complete) 

Philippa/Yennefer (bc……………yes) 

falls asleep on the couch- Probably Yennefer tbh. Phil has been ranting for a solid 20 minutes about some grievance/scheme/plot/plan/combination of the above and like, pauses for breath/Yennefer’s input only to discover Yennefer dozing in blissful ignorance on the couch in front of her, not taking in a word (Phil would be highly miffed if she didn’t look so adorable in her sleep) 

makes friends with the neighbors- They’d probably mostly keep themselves to themselves but Yennefer will make polite small talk with them if approached by them in the street (and she’ll frog-march Phil away from them if she so much as opens her mouth in their presence…….She will, however, happily allow Phil to aggressively make out with her in front of any neighbours  who disapprove of them, however. The opportunity is just too good to miss (she draws the line at allowing Phil to invite them over for dinner one night, she’s pretty sure they’ll have a heart attack, which is either going to be induced by Phil fingering her at the table or slipping poison into their soup. Depends on her mood.) 

is the adventurous eater- Probably Yennefer. I can see Phil and Yen getting a little restless and travelling quite a lot together. Yennefer would want to try all the delicacies in the new places they were in. (Phil refuses point blank…….unless Yennefer innocently suggests that she can try licking them off of her, then she gets much more interested) 

hogs the covers at night- Tbh they probably both have a tug-of-war every night because they both want them. Phil yanks them off Yen, Yen yanks them off Phil, growling is done, sex is probably had nine times out of ten and then they collapse in a messy heap together, too tired to argue over the covers. Problem solved. 

forgets to do the dishes- Phil. Yen has never described herself as a neat-freak, and never will, but Phil takes messiness to a new level. “I was going to get them eventually, Yenna, don’t fuss.” “Phil, things were breeding on it.” “……..Anyway.” 

tries to surprise their partner more often- Yennefer probably like, makes vague attempts at romantic surprises early on in their relationship and then……gives up. I just can’t see Philippa having a single romantic bone in her body, seriously. Even if she genuinely adores her partner it just…..Doesn’t work. She will make an effort for Yen’s birthdays, though (usually) because she likes being spoiled and fussed over every now and then, and Phil knows that. And when she actually tries she can do the whole romance thing really quite well (she just….doesn’t quite see the point in it. but baby steps, baby steps) 

leaves dirty laundry on the floor- Both of them. It gets aggressively torn off and discarded as they make their way to the bedroom. By the time they’re done with each other, neither of them really feels inclined to tidy up after themselves. (Bonus: Phil wearing Yen’s shirts the next morning (bc i picture Phil being extremely!smol and this image Pleases Me (and Yen))) 

stays up til 2 AM reading- Philippa omg. Yennefer grumbles about it because, ‘Phil, it’s 2am, will you please put the light out and sleep?’ To which the answer is, inevitably, ‘I’ve only got 124 pages left, Yenna, don’t nag.” To which the inevitable answer is Yennefer easing the book out of Phil’s hands, marking the page, closing it and placing it on the bedside table, and kissing her deeply before she can complain. 

sings in the shower- Probably Yennefer. She doesn’t always know all the words and it goes from like, enthusiastically yelling the words to like…vaguely mumbling the bits she doesn’t know…to enthusiastically yelling again. Phil is either deeply amused by this or vaguely irritated, depending on how much sleep she’s had/how sore her head is/how well her latest Scheme is going.) 

takes the selfies- Yennefer probably takes slightly more than Phil but I actually can’t see her going overboard with them? Just a few every now and then at special events and stuff. This is…Another thing that Phil is a bit like ‘No’ on. Unlike the romance thing this is something that she just…Won’t bend on. (She does, grudgingly, allow other people to take their picture for them if they’re out together…and tries not to grimace too much (she inevitably looks like she’s just swallowed a lemon but she insists that she’s trying)) 

plans date night- Hmm, they probably take turns, actually? They get a date about and the other just completely goes with what they want to do and let’s them totally run it. Phil’s are usually fancy restaurants with stunning views that Yenna is just sort of…okay who did you murder to get us in here, Phil? (Philippa just smiles rather disconcertingly, and even more disconcertingly doesn’t answer) Yennefer probably gets tickets to see some performance or other that’s in town and then back to the house for wine, dinner, and sex. 

and finally, the delightful tiny crack!ship interesting to a grand total of me, me, and me: Philippa/Assire: (idk either, i have no explanation, don’t look at me, just go with it) 

falls asleep on the couch- Right, I’m not saying that Assire slipped a light sleeping potion into Philippa’s tea because she hadn’t slept in about three days and Assire was getting worried but….Phil snuggled down and fell fast asleep on the couch about two minutes after finishing the drink Assire sweetly  made for her and insisted she take while it was still hot so like…draw your own conclusions. 

makes friends with the neighbors- Assire makes shy, polite conversation whenever they pass in the street (while repeatedly stamping on Phil’s foot to stop her interjecting with sardonic commentary. She just mutters her comments directly into Assire’s mind via telepathy instead and the poor girl spends the entire thing not to snort with laughter at Phil’s…Insights.)  

is the adventurous eater- Assire adores spicy food, the hotter the better, and she takes great delight in feeding it to Phil every now and then and watching her turn scarlet and reach for a glass of water. Assire isn’t fussy at all, there’s probably a grand total of like three things in the world she doesn’t like, and two of them she will make herself eat to be polite.  

hogs the covers at night- Phil the blanket burrito strikes again. Fortunately, Assire doesn’t really mind this because she always tends to be quite hot at night, and Phil has a nice habit of tugging the covers off of her just as she’s starting to get too hot. So instead of grumbling, Phil gets a grateful little kiss on the side of her head and they both go back to sleep. 

forgets to do the dishes- Philippa. Assire is very neat and very tidy and basically scoops the dishes out from under Philippa the second she’s finished the last bite of her food so that she can wash them up. There is not a spec of dirt anywhere in Assire’s house. (She got so pissy with Phil one time she flew straight in through the window and got rain and feathers EVERYWHERE. Phil has not done so again. One does not piss off Assire, even if one is Philippa Eilhart) 

tries to surprise their partner more often- Omg Assire does but it probably backfires spectacularly because she’s probably just !!! i have a surprise for you! And Phil is all ;) mhm? what might that be? ;) and Assire just, I’ve adopted a cat! And Phil is just……….you have got to be kidding me. And it’s literally the ugliest cat Philippa has ever seen in her entire life, half-chewed off ears, riddled with fleas, matted fur, skinny as anything, but Assire is looking at it like it’s a priceless treasure and telling Phil that she found it outside all alone, with no-one to take care of it. So now they’ve adopted it. And Phil is just like ???? you are too pure how did I ever fall in love with u?(Also Phil is totally allergic to the cat, and it hates her as much as she hates it…but it’s also crafty af like her so it will curl up in her lap and purr and be all over her and Assire is so happy because “look, he likes you Pippa!!” Phil is looking into its demonic yellow eyes knowing full-well it’s only doing this to get her covered in cat hair so she spends all night sneezing. And she just glowers down at it and grinds out through gritted teeth, “Yes, he does, isn’t that lovely?” Meanwhile she’s planning about six different ways to poison it without Assire noticing (she never does but dammit she’s tempted) Also, apparently Assire attracts scheming devil-beasts and somehow manages to tame them? there you are))  

leaves dirty laundry on the floor- Philippa does and Assire gets grumpy (and also the cat sleeps on them, to further infect her with its fluff) So between Assire’s disapproval and the demon-cats scheming, Phil starts tidying up after herself a little more, cursing both of them to high heaven. 

stays up til 2 AM reading- Actually probably both of them? Philippa is probably researching while Assire is reading some fictional book that keeps making her cry (she concludes her research at a reasonable time, the night is devoted to pleasure reading), but they’re both up and in the same room and they both have that kind of ‘I’m starting, I’m finishing it’ type of mentality? (Assire is the one who stops Phil reading though, because her book comes to an end while Philippa gets caught up in an endless circle of checking this and that and the other and Assire just, no reading time is over it’s time for bed now, Philippa)  

sings in the shower- Assire probably sleepily mumbles something without really realising she’s doing it when she takes morning showers (it takes a little while for her to wake up) 

takes the selfies- Probably neither of them, tbh. Assire is too shy and Philippa is too…not bothered. They don’t have very many pictures of themselves, and Assire is always a little bothered by that fact and tries to get more taken of them. Philippa indulges her bc Philippa does not say no to Assire about anything. 

plans date night- Philippa plans them when they actually go out but sometimes Assire will just announce that it’s date night to stop Philippa working. When Assire plans it, it basically just consists of her deciding she’s feeling distinctly underappreciated and she cooks Philippa some nice food and then spends the night sitting on her so that they spend some quality time together with absolutely no interruptions for work/scheming.