#phineas will forever be spoiled

[pixel-bloom]

Remi: Dads! I got in!!! University life, here I come!

Matteo: I told you she'd be a shoe in. Now we just need to get Terra's butt into gear.

Phineas: I have a feeling she'll find her own way to university. Like I did.

Matteo: You didn't go to university.

Phineas: I took classes!

Matteo: My daughters are not going to just sit in the back of the class and "take classes". Or in your case, sleep in the back of the class. They're going to be the best and brightest students!

Phineas: [Grumbles] It's still possible to pass even if you sleep in a couple classes...

[slutabed]

can u tell us more abt ur cool speech on the dead poets society 🥺 i would like to know more

omg anon what have you done i could talk about this for hours

absolutely! it’s probably not as cool as I made it sound before though haha. I was taking a class on masculinity and wrote a paper comparing Dead Poets Society to the novel A Separate Peace by John Knowles (one of my favorites ever, if you like Dead Poets Society absolutely go read that novel). I was looking at all-male boarding schools as spaces of homosocial bonding and studying the dynamics of power and punishment that exist there. 

Essentially, when power comes from the top down, as in DPS (headmasters, fathers, etc.), the boys are more likely to rebel against the status quo and, in doing so, embrace themselves and their peers and whatever form their masculinities take. You get DPS students playing musical instruments, writing poetry to woo women, and Neil trying out for a Shakespeare play. They’re more open to affection amongst themselves because they have a tyrannical example of masculinity to point to and say “I don’t want that, I want whatever it is I have here with my friends.” (Ultimately, the two people who rebel the most against the system, Neil and Mr. Keating, are expelled from the narrative, but the potential for resistance lives on through Todd and the others.)

In A Separate Peace, there isn’t one single source of power; instead, to use Foucault, the boarding school acts as a panopticon (basically a prison in which the boys police themselves and their own behavior out of fear of constantly being watched). I use the two main characters, Gene and Phineas, as a parallel to Neil and Todd from Dead Poets Society: Neil and Todd are supportive of each other and their dreams, while Gene is fiercely competitive against Finny. (Whether you read his feelings for Finny as queer or not depends on your interpretation, but I read it that way, and you can see Gene repressing his desire for his friend and instead lashing out in jealous, cruel ways.)

Basically, when there’s no one source of power enforcing the rules, it’s up to the students themselves to defend the status quo, which means any divergence from the ideal of masculinity they’ve been taught to model is a danger to the status quo and needs to be squashed. I don’t want to spoil the book, but basically Gene behaves recklessly to try and force Phineas back into the status quo because 1. Phineas is so himself and free that it threatens the order the boys have been taught to value and 2. Phineas represents Gene’s “queer potential” (term from an academic article by Eric Tribunella lol) and so Gene has to destroy his friend in order to destroy his own “unacceptable” queer desire. 

WOW turned this into a novel I’m sorry I’m incapable of being concise on here lol. But yeah, my speech was basically just a presentation of this paper and a discussion on it (I could talk about masculinity studies in literature forever tbh lol). A Separate Peace is one of the most beautifully devastating novels I’ve ever read so if you like Dead Poets Society go read it, it’s pretty short and it’ll break your heart and you’ll think about it forever and ever. 

***(Also forgot to say my paper made it explicitly clear that Neil and Todd ARE boyfriends and Gene and Phineas are not but definitely wish they were no matter how much Gene tries to deny it)

[foreverydinger]

Name: Anthony Edward Rydinger Nicknames: Tony & Tones Pronouns: He/Him Gender: Cis Male Sexuality: Bisexual Age: 19 (80) Birthday: August 5th, 1943

OVERVIEW:

Mother: Harriet “Hattie” Rydinger (née Nevitt) (Deceased) Father: Roderick Rydinger (Deceased) Mother’s Occupation: Stay-At-Home Mother Father’s Occupation: Business Associate Family Finances: Middle Class Other Close Family: N/A Pets: Frito Rydinger (Australian Shepherd)

Home Life During Childhood:

Pre-Curse: Tony was on top of the world, a spoiled son, school athlete, and playboy. Everything was perfect for the most part. His father was stern and his mother coddled him.

Post-Curse: Tony, when still living with his family, was tense and brooding, resentful of his parents for not seeing through things.

What Did Their Bedroom Look Like:

Pre-Curse: Honestly it was a mess. He was your typical teenage boy with his clothes everywhere and a trail of messes behind him everywhere he went. It drove Harriet absolutely insane and was the one thing they really fought over.

Post-Curse: He does a good job of keeping things organized, even if it doesn’t look the most Neat & Tidy. Everything has A Place and he likes to know where things are/where things go. It’s his space.

Any Sports or Clubs: Tony used to play football (soccer), basketball, and he liked baseball. He was on the teams during his initial runs at Swynlake Secondary but he lost the drive and passion when he watched all his teammates leave the team. He also used to be on the swim team under Aquata’s coaching! Schooling: Finally stopped repeating the last year of Secondary. Favorite Subject: Music & Biology Popular or Loner: Popular, usually. Place of Birth: Swynlake, England Ethnicity: English (some Native American) Nationality: English Languages: English, Welsh, & BSL Accent: British Religion & Beliefs: Formerly Catholic, he has a hard time deciding if he’s religious or not.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

Face Claim: Gavin Leatherwood Complexion: Unblemished Hair Colour: Black Eye Colour: Brown Height: 5′8″/176cm Weight: 160lbs/72.57kg Build: Lean Tattoos:  A sun on his left arm, the comic panel from Calvin & Hobbes saying I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up on his right, and a red butterfly tattoo on his shoulder that matches Ian and Eilonwy’s. He also got a tattoo for Ian’s birthday that is a quote from  The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab Piercings: None Scars: A few on his hands/legs from childhood and one across his nose from Phineas being compelled to punch him and breaking his nose. Common Hairstyle: Curled hair (sometimes he uses product but SO RARELY!!) Clothing Style: Greaser, half-jokingly. Hipster. Mannerisms: Running his fingers through his hair when he’s nervous or embarrassed. Usual Expression: Smirking or trying very hard to keep a neutral expression

HEALTH:

Overall (Do They Get Sick Easily)?: Not much. Disorders: N/A Neurological Conditions: N/A Magical Abilities: Formerly Cursed to repeat his last year of secondary over and over.

How it Happened:

Tony managed to piss off someone who was a Magick given the very anti-Magick climate that was the 1960s. Tony wasn’t necessarily the most anti-Magick person when he was in secondary school then but when he wished aloud to remain in school forever where he wouldn’t need to leave that Magic granted the wish in the worst way possible: he’s trapped.

Groundhog’s Year:

While he isn’t technically repeating the same year over and over again, Tony is stuck as an upper sixth year student and forever shy of his 19th birthday. He has to go to lessons where everyone believes he’s your average upper sixth year student, despite his pleas and attempts to break the curse via expulsion, telling people, and even just flunking all his classes. None of these have worked.

Memory Problems:

Anyone who has graduated from Swynlake Secondary or is above the age to go to secondary doesn’t remember him once that graduation ceremony is over. If he were to approach them and try to remind them of his existence before this point they would dismiss him as some child. He’s crazy. Though, sometimes, something will be nagging at the back of your head. Sorta like deja vu. Anyone who is attending Swynlake Secondary finds their memories just adapt to his presence. They’ve heard of Tony Rydinger before? Yeah, sure, he’s that upper sixth form guy! Each year it just makes sense. By the time you reach the same grade as him the memories just adjust to him having attended school with you this entire time. Tony’s always been in your year, what do you mean?

Those Unaffected:

Animals. Tony likes dogs the best for being man’s best friend. They never forget him and he’s just so grateful to have some creatures that won’t give him that blank stare. How It Ended: Ian worked tirelessly to find something to break the curse and eventually found a spell that would cause Ian to forget Tony but save everyone else. Tony refused to accept this. Seeking help he and Ian went to Ian’s family in the States and they helped the pair of them to find a new spell to break the curse, tying their lives together permanently.

Allergies: N/A Grooming Habits: Tony takes pride in his appearance in so far as he keeps good hygiene and dresses well but he’s not high maintenance. Sleeping Habits: Tony wakes up at 6am no matter what time he goes to bed. He’s able to sleep after waking up and often will choose to but he’s very regular in waking up at 6am. 60 years of secondary will do that to you. Eating Habits: Tony loves to cook. He barely has any junk food in his flat, usually spending his Sunday afternoons meal prepping and then eating well throughout the week. He likes junk food and will never say no to really any food but he tries to eat well. Exercise Habits: He runs, goes to the gym occasionally, but mostly just runs now with Frito in tow. Emotional Stability: Ehhhh... Depends. He’s good at compartmentalizing but he’s prideful and he probably has PTSD of some form from all the trauma he’s been through so he can get very touchy. Body Temperature: Warm Sociability: He’s good with people. Addictions: Fey’s Gold (he quit but he’s an addict still) Drug Use: Fey’s Gold (formerly) Alcohol Use: Often

THEIR CHARACTER:

Bad Habits: Smoking, too much alcohol, his temper/picking fights Good Habits: Empathetic, willing to listen, working on music and photography, good eating habits Best Characteristic: Understanding Worst Characteristic: Prideful Worst Memory: His mother’s death Best Memory: Ian remembering him Proud Of: Honest answer is not much despite how prideful he is about himself. He is a contradiction. Embarrassed By: His singing voice Driving Style: Good! He’s a good driver! Temperament: Short-Tempered Attitude: Cocky Weakness: His pride Fears: Being forgotten/left behind Phobias: Fire Secrets: Not many these days Regrets: So Much Feels Vulnerable When: He’s just gone through the disasters and the memories all pop up Pet Peeves: So many things... Conflicts: Phineas fucking Flynn and their conflicting prides Motivation: Depends on the day Short Term Goals & Hopes: Enjoy the day-to-day Long Term Goals & Hopes: Finish uni and start his life with Ian Exercise Routine: Runs at least twice a day with Frito Day or Night Person: Night Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert but he’s a lot more introverted than he realizes Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist

LIKES & STYLES:

Colours: Tony used to bleed blue, yellow, and white, used to wear the school colors all the time and brag about how much of a true Pegasus he was. Those were the glory days. Tony now will wear those colors for School Pride-type events and no more. He has culled a lot of his wardrobe over the decades and hasn’t replaced most of the prideful colors back in. Weather: Those dreary mornings when the air smells of rain and the sky is gray is when Tony is happiest. The mist in the air as he walks outside makes him feel alive. Sunshine doesn’t quite capture the aesthetic he has cultivated. Music: Tony is the epitome of “They don’t make music like they used to!” He is nostalgic for the music of the fifties and sixties, though some modern artists will grab his attention. Jazz in general will tug at his heartstrings and, don’t tell Wilbur, but he’s a giant Franny Robinson stan. He is obsessed with her sound. Movies: Horror movies are what Tony thrives on. Spooky season gives him an excuse to break out the classics. Give him a classic slasher movie and you’ll have yourself a very happy boy. Tony can’t stand mushy chick-flicks. He thinks they are a waste of time. Drinks: It’s certainly a cliché but Tony is a sucker for a good root beer float. At this point no one, not even Tony, knows if that is for the Aesthetic or if soda shops were just the superior way to go through life. He will drink real alcohol –purchased with his copious amounts of “fake” IDs– as well but it’s funnier to him that he will order a root beer float everywhere. Foods: He misses his mother’s cooking. It was really hard on him to see his parents grow old like that, thinking that they were just really old parents and, eventually, even needing to be convinced they’d adopted him. He definitely learned how to make her homemade baked potato soup, but it’s just not the same as when his mum made it with all the love in her heart. Animals: Dogs are Tony’s favorite animals. He used to adopt strays all the time to keep him company but he’s stopped for the last few years because it got too sad and has recently adopted Frito!!! He will pet any dog he sees, though. Books: Gothic Literature (he likes Southern American Gothic a lot) Magazines: Not a huge fan Sports: Football, basketball, swimming, baseball, general running, etc. Social Issues: LGBTQ+ Rights, general politics, but, like, quietly. SSIC is interesting. Clothing: His leather jacket Jewelry: The ring Eilonwy made him with her magic, worn on a chain around his neck under his shirt Games: Monopoly Websites: Twitter & Instagram TV Shows: Eh, just whatever’s on

WHERE & WHEN THEY LIVE NOW:

Home: Benbow Apartments Household Furnishings: A lot of mismashed things he’s gotten throughout the years now mixed with some of Ian’s possessions Most Cherished Possessions: Record player, records, & photo albums Neighbourhood: North of the Southern Isles Town or City Name: Swynlake Relationship with Family: They’re all deceased Career: “Bus boy” (actually a drug runner) for Roscoe Sykes at The Court of Miracles and Personal Assistant to Winston Deavor Dream Career: Music Producer Dream Life: Happy & Real Love Life: Heartbroken currently Talents or Skills: Singing, Photography, Athletic Intelligence Level: Medium-to-High Finances: Working Class Past Careers: Too many Past Lovers: Too many (notably Attina Triton, Aquata Triton, Lou Bonfamille, Berlioz Bonfamille, Jessica Rabbit, Winston Deavor, and many more)

OTHER HEADCANONS:

Not to get all Tw*light on you all, but Tony definitely has a collection of all of his graduation tassels. The cap and gown are all the same each year just saved for the next time the curse forces him to relive the year but the tassels are stored in a box beneath his bed as a reminder. He hopes someday he will be able to stop collecting.

Tony has everyone at the school and his landlord convinced that he’s an emancipated minor. It was easier than lying that his parents were still around after their death. He doesn’t mind living on his own, though he wishes that he didn’t have to go through this process of being a newly emancipated person every time the school year ended.

Tony is secretly a big reader, making his previous job at Chapter Three enjoyable for him. It wasn’t uncommon for him to purchase books there to read on his lunch breaks, though the only ones who really saw this were his bosses. He mostly just reads when he’s alone in his flat. It helps pass the time and it’s not like he has to reread the books they teach in school again.

[humanperryfic]

Into the Perryverse

Doctor Doofenshmirtz has built another dimensional -inator, but this time, it backfires and now there are three more Perrys (and a platypus?) in his lab.

Will the Perrys be able to return to their dimensions before the inter-dimensional window is closed--forever?

Chapter 1 on AO3 here and FF.Net here

TW’s: None 

[This post will be reblogged as new chapters come out]

Perry slides into the seat in his lair, barely managing to shield himself from the books that fall after him.

OWCA really needs to stop putting his entrances in bookshelves. They’re dangerous for everyone involved.

“Good morning, Agent P.” Perry nods in greeting. “Your mission today is of the utmost importance. It seems like Doctor Doofenshmirtz is building another dimension portal- and he’s making it sturdier this time.”

Perry remembers the last one- the one the boys crashed into with their giant shuttlecock. That day came very, very close to being his undoing. Thankfully, when Perry had gone to thwart it, he had managed to feign clumsiness, palm a critical piece to spoil Doofenshmirtz’s plans, then steer the boys away under the guise of lunch.

Thank god for Phineas’s short attention span. Today, the boys are building the coolest marble run ever, so they shouldn’t be interrupting again.

“...and if you get sucked into another dimension, try to find the OWCA there, or maybe Doofenshmirtz. Get to it, Agent P!”

Perry snaps off a salute as the monitor winks off. He gathers the books up from the floor and puts them on a shelf in his lair. He’ll return them to the bookshelf in the Flynn-Fletcher household after his mission.

He checks the fuel monitor on his jetpack and groans. Looks like he’s making a stop along the way.

Ten minutes later, he’s leaning against a pump at the gas station, waiting for his jetpack to finish fueling.

This is what they don’t cover in training. Fueling your jetpack at a normal station because the pump at HQ is always broken. Trying not to attract attention, even though you’re filling a jetpack at a gas station .

He should really find a way to make it solar powered. Then he could leave it on Doof’s balcony to recharge while he thwarted him. But seeing as he has almost no mechanical knowledge, he’d have to consult the boys, and that would be hard to explain…

(He’d ask Doofenshmirtz, but he’d rather not have a self-destruct button on OWCA property. That just invites trouble.)

Speaking of Doofenshmirtz, he should get going. He disconnects the pump, closes the gas cap, and goes inside the little convenience store to pay.

Five minutes later, he’s rolling through the open window of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, hearing the proximity alarm jingle go off.

Why it’s a jingle is kind of a mystery to Perry. It’s rather amusing to see if he changes it for the scheme of the day.

Or strange phenomena, such as the “Doofenshmirtz Isn’t Illuminated” in last year’s blackout.

Either way, he stands quickly triggering a net to come down and trap him.

“A-ha!” Right on cue, there’s Doof. “Perry the Platypus, how utterly surprising! And by surprising, I mean completely...prising? That doesn’t really work, does it? Oh well.”

He sighs. “I bet you’re wondering why I’ve built another dimension related -inator, huh?”

At Perry’s blank stare, he continues. “Well, when I was doing research for another -inator, I came across a pretty nifty fact. Every five hundred years, or so, the dimensions all come into alignment, and only for a few days. Pretty cool, right?”

Perry considers this. The whole scheme smells like disaster, of metaphorical crap just waiting to hit the fan. He motions for Doofenshmirtz to go on. At least it’ll be amusing.

“Anyway, I built this device, the Dimension Reach-inator, to bring me from four other dimensions here to this one. With five of me, I’ll certainly be able to take over the Tri-State Area!”

Perry raises an eyebrow, discreetly sawing open the net behind his back.

“All I need is a bit of DNA…”

Perry springs from the trap. The chase is on. Despite how interesting it would be to see five Doofs trying to take over, he still has a job to do.

Their fight is quick. A roundhouse kick or two, and Doof is stumbling back towards the -inator. He manages to get one leg hooked around Perry’s, and they’re tumbling over the floor, Perry landing most of the hits.

At one point, Perry’s forearm gets nicked by a loose screw dangerously close to the DNA port’s entrance, staining another perfectly good shirt.

Heinz misjudges a punch, hitting the -inator behind Perry and causing it to shake and glow iridescent blue.

“Look at that, Perry the Platypus! It worked!” He rushes over to examine the machine, Perry close behind him.

“It must have not needed any DNA at all. Strange.”

Perry looks up at where the dish was pointing and gulps. It used some DNA, for sure. Just...not Heinz’s.

The dish spins wildly on its axis, eventually pointing somewhere behind Perry. Doofenshmirtz looks over at where it points, bewilderment in his eyes.

“I don’t get it. There’s supposed to be me’s from other dimensions standing right here. What are you looking at, Perry?”

Perry merely points over Doofenshmirtz’s shoulder.

He pivots, following Perry's finger, then takes a step back.

“Perry? Who are these people who look exactly like you?”

[dragonstoravens]

Babylon Vol. 1: Freeze Frame, Little Victories, Handled

[ID: a blue patterned banner with text reading “BABYLON.” End ID.]

(Ok this one’s a LONG one, I’ll admit it! But these three chapters-- one Big Boy and two much shorter epilogues-- really go together very well, I didn’t want to separate them. This is one of my favorite parts of book one honestly, so I hope you guys enjoy it too.)

CW: Panic attack

8. Freeze Frame

    There wasn’t really any reason for it, it had just been a very long day. A very long day punctuated, of course, by yet another endless fancy dress event, one Trinity needed out of right now. The problem being that he wasn’t alone at this event. He was used to being the brooding wallflower, the kind of man who was noticed when he needed to be, but who no one would notice if he slipped away. Having Azzy there, even though they’d been to several events together by this point, was a very slight change to his usual strategy that made everything just a touch more difficult. Which meant that, right now, it made everything seem pretty much impossible. Trinity wondered if Azzy had noticed how long it had been since he moved his eyes. Or took a breath. He wasn’t sure himself, and if that awareness was slipping it was really time to go. He couldn’t do this in front of her. 

    “I’ll be right back, dear. Restroom,” he murmured to her, hoping those were the actual words that came out of his mouth. He felt a bit like he was staring at the back of his own head, or watching a vaguely interesting silent film from the back of a drive in theater. He walked away without waiting for a response-- it wasn’t as if he’d hear it, anyway-- making a conscious effort to swing his arms in opposition to his legs as he walked. In his head, he slowly began listing prime numbers, with just enough forethought to pull away from the comm link beforehand. 1. 2. 3. 5. 7. 11. 13? 13. A bead of sweat formed on his temple and rolled slowly down his face. He knew a spot that would be deserted at this time. 17. 19. 23. He turned the corner, and disappeared out of sight from the main ballroom.

    Trinity had left all too quickly. Azure wasn’t used to the crowds quite yet, but something in the urgency with which he left concerned her. The comm had been giving her something like static before it turned off entirely, and he almost never turned that off unless he had to. He liked to know when she was getting nervous. Was the link malfunctioning? She was here, alone, and she didn’t even know where he went. Before she could begin mentally mapping the ballroom out to figure out where the bathrooms even were around here, someone in an all-too-boring suit and his date in a tacky, glittery number walked up. She blinked, plastering a smile on her face. 

    “And to what do I owe the pleasure, Mister…?”

    “Please, just call me James. Where is Trinity? I just saw him around here a minute ago, then he disappeared!” Whoever he was, he seemed friendly. Even if his date was sizing her up something fierce. She ran through her last few events, looking for a James in there somewhere to remember. Maybe she should start sticking around for the tax talk. Oh! This was the one from the security agency. She could field that without fucking it up, he’d mentioned it before. She just had to be really noncommittal. Pretend like she knew anything. That’s how Trinity said he used to do it as a teenager.

    “Trinity’s currently takin’ care of something elsewhere, I’m sure you understand.” She picked her words carefully. “He should be back in a moment, but these things are always so busy, hardly any time to actually get from A to B without some stops in between.” She tried to remember the way Trinity danced his way through small talk to get to the heart of these issues faster. She’d never understood how he did it, but she’d have to try. She tested the comm and got nothing back. “Honestly, I’m sure the borin’ work things can wait until you see him next time. Please, go enjoy yourselves! I’ll gladly let him know y’all came to see him, he’ll be sorry he missed ya.”

    That evasion seemed polite enough for the two of them, as they gave their sincere apologies for not getting to him before he left and went on their merry way. She gave a big exhale, some small sparks shaking off her hands. She shouldn’t stay in one spot or it’d happen again, and this brand of over-polite and accommodating was not her base setting. If she was too formal for too long, she was almost certain she’d begin to chafe. She began a beeline for the refreshments table, eyes always looking out for her date, the stubborn line of her jaw covering for an increasing amount of concern for him. 

    Her shoulder brushed against someone, jostling her from her thoughts slightly. She really only saw a pristine suit and a hand covered in rings. No, that wasn’t something she could handle right now. Too rich for her blood, and literally.

    “Excuse me, my apologies-” was all she offered, continuing on her way. By the time she reached the table, full of wine glasses, she realized too late she’d been followed. But not by the person she’d bumped into. She plastered another smile to her face, picking up a glass and masking her urge to wrinkle her nose at the smell of the wine. She recognized this one: Usually she was with her boy-toy of the week, but today she was alone.

    “Denicia, to what do I owe the pleasure? Where’s that darlin’ blond of yours, or have you broken another young man’s heart within the last week?” She punctuated the sentence with a laugh, making sure it was clear she was telling a joke. Internally, she cringed. She wished Trinity was with her, this was where he’d let out a big breath and quietly note some disheveled detail to pick on to make her leave. She didn’t have the eye for it, nor the vocabulary to really properly pull off that particular exit. That was really more Crim’s thing. Which meant she was stuck.

    “I was about to ask you the same thing, I’ve looked for him everywhere and I simply can’t imagine you’d cut him loose as quickly as I cut mine, Camilla.” The woman gave a smile full of teeth and Azzy wondered if they were fake or if she just had that big of a mouth. No soft chuckle and joke in return. The silence in the comm made her lonely, but she pushed it aside.

    “Oh he’s around. Probably drawin’ up a contract somewhere, you know how he is, always work, no play.” She affected her best pout. This was her least favorite face to put on, the spoiled and slighted lover. If anyone looked at her hands, calloused and scarred, they’d know she was bullshitting, without a doubt, but these people simply weren’t observant or ballsy enough to try and call her on it, and somehow that was worse. 

    “You poor dear, he’ll come around soon I’m sure. Inboxes don’t stay full forever when that’s the pace you work at.” Denicia patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. “I suppose I won’t bother you with my business then, you’ve got a man to locate before he forgets you’re here. Good luck dear!” and with that she whirled around to disappear into the crowd again, leaving behind a thick floral perfume that made Azure gag. She shook out more sparks and gave a long sigh. She had no idea how Trinity had done this on his own for so long. She looked around to see if anyone was watching too closely, and finished her drink in a single gulp. Then she turned, bumping into another someone with way too many rings.

“Oop, my bad, excuse me!”, she offered a small curtsy and continued on her way, beginning her hunt for Trinity anew, wherever he was. A piercing gaze followed her, but with so many sets of eyes on her already, what was one more? She was so, so close to the bathrooms when a man exited. He recognized her, and plodded in her direction. She wanted to groan.

    She knew this one too.

    “Camilla! Powdering your nose I assume? The lady always looks ravishing, I can assure you that from where I’m standing you don’t need to.”

    “Great to see you, Mister Phineas.” She gave a coy smile, keeping an eye on the doors behind him, mentally cataloguing anyone entering and exiting. She prayed Trinity would save her from this one. “Has your evenin’ been kind to you? You seemed to be spinnin’ one helluva yarn when I passed by earlier.”

    Mister Phineas gave a deep belly laugh, and she narrowly kept her smile on well enough to avoid wincing. God, he was so loud. Trinity hadn’t left the bathroom yet, and she wasn’t sure he’d leave her hanging out here if he knew it was Phineas she’d been cornered by.

    “Ah Camilla, that’s more a story for your lad Trinity! Something for us men to share.” He patted her shoulder, and she threw up in her mouth a little. “Where is the boy anyway? I haven’t seen him since the two of you entered.”

    She wanted desperately to just leave. Tell him to fuck off, turn heel and go. He was useless to Trinity by the man’s own admission anyway so a tiny little shock really wouldn’t hurt him too much, with all the insulation he had. Instead of any of that though, she tittered. No point in being violent because someone’s annoying, that would be unladylike at best and evil at worst; her whole reason to be here was making things easier for Trinity. “He’s indisposed, handlin’ some affairs he said just couldn’t wait a minute longer. Shall I pass somethin’ along? I’ve got no idea when he’ll be back around.” She tapped at the comm one more time. Nothing. Ugh.

    “Oh, poor form, leaving a pretty thing like you to wander a wolf’s den like this.” For once she thought maybe Phineas had a point, but she’d never admit that. “I’ll handle my business with him myself, would hate to make you work harder than you need to.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it and she smiled, while internally screaming. He waved and off he went, and she fought the urge to wipe the slime his mouth left on her hand off onto her dress. She looked around.

    Trinity still hadn’t returned. She couldn’t reach him in the comm, and in the minute or so she’d kept an eye on the men’s room, he hadn’t entered or exited. At least out in this hall, she could get a feel for the size of the building. It wasn’t huge, just fancy with a lot of gardens. Trinity wouldn’t leave the building she didn’t think, not if she was going to be stuck here. That left a few stairwell corners and some alcoves she already knew were full of the sort of illicit rendezvous Trinity wasn’t really inclined to. She exited the hall with the bathrooms, knowing full well that’s where the alcoves were and not the stairwells. She took a deep breath and entered the throng, smiling and waving where her attention was drawn but not stopping to converse. Crimson’s voice rang in her head: “If you look purposeful enough, anyone with sense will get out of your way, and anyone without sense should follow suit.”

    So through the crowd she strode, head high, step as sure as she could fake it, a wake of static left behind her every step as she tried to quell her rising concern for Trinity’s well being. Her face was set as neutrally as she could manage, knowing her default was an expression of stubborn irritation. To others, she was a woman on a mission. To herself, she was mentally planning every step she took, desperately praying she’d see him pop up in the corners of her vision.

    She was almost to the set of hallways on the other side of the room when, in her desperate focus to Get To The Other Side Of The Room, she barely registered the bejeweled hand on her shoulder. Internally, she sighed. Externally, she carefully took the hand off her shoulder, barely sparing a long enough glance to be heard. “I’m very sorry sir, I’ve got somethin’ urgent to attend to.”

    “Urgent?” The man lifted a perfect dark eyebrow in a bone-pale and starkly handsome face, and pulled his hand back slowly from where it had been draped in the air after she’d removed it from her person. The nails were painted blood red, and gold and silver rings glinted in the light. His voice was far more polite than any of the others she’d talked to, soft and smooth as silk, but she still really didn’t have time for that. 

    Did I fuckin’ stutter, sir?   

    A slight static from the comm answered her unspoken question, then nothing. 

    “I’m afraid so. I assure you,” she tossed over her shoulder and began walking away, more static in her wake. “I’m a horrible liar.”

    He only blinked. “I believe you.” The words were quiet, but followed her down the hall anyhow. He turned with a flash of purple-- was that a purple velvet suit, really?-- and was out of sight, finally. She fought the urge to stick her tongue out or give a loud sigh or do something, anything to vent the frustration she felt at being stopped again, but she managed to keep it together. She wandered the thinning crowds in the hallway, ascending a set of stairs with purpose to a floor that seemed almost deserted.

    “Trinity?” She called softly, not wanting to alert anyone to his disappearance. If he wasn’t here, she’d look like a crazy person, and she already had enough of that. She stayed quiet and listened over the din of the event downstairs. She didn’t hear anything, but there was a slight shadow down one of the empty hallways, unmoving, but vaguely human shaped. She strode towards the shape, slowing as she went. 

    “Trinity?” she called softly from a few feet away.

    It was him, she could see as she approached. He stood, leaning against the wall in the deserted hallway, perfectly still and unmoving. He didn’t even seem to be breathing. His face was expressionless, gaze vaguely fixed at a point across the hall where the wall met the floor, eyes frozen in place. He hadn’t blinked since she’d been watching him, and her eyes started to water in sympathy. He didn’t react to her presence. After a long moment, he blinked. The movement began and ended in only his eyelids.

    She stopped only a few feet from him, just outside his periphery. She reached a hand out, hesitant. She had no idea what was going on, he’d completely shut her out this whole time. No warning, just silence. If she was honest, she’d been pushing the thought that maybe she’d messed up somehow away all night. But she couldn’t find what she’d done, and it wasn’t like Trinity to give a punishment like the silent treatment. He’d call in a drone strike, or something. Ruin her credit score. Tease her mercilessly until she apologized. She turned off the cybernetics in her arm, reaching for his shoulder.  

    “Terra to Trinity, pagin’ Hotshot. We need you back here on the ground, buddy.” Her voice came out softer than she’d known it could ever be. He was so still. She frowned, glancing around them. No one. He was certainly good at finding hiding spots. She moved into his line of sight. “Trinity, what’s goin’ on?”

    As she got close to him, she could see why it looked like he wasn’t breathing. He was taking incredibly shallow breaths, so much so that his chest and mouth didn’t move at all, and the breaths were coming far faster than was healthy. He didn’t respond to her voice or even to her touch except to blink again— the only hint that any stimulus was reaching him. She’d never seen him do anything even close to this before, he was always so well put together she’d begun to think he was a robot designed exclusively to chat easily with the rich and powerful. She couldn’t piece together what the hell was going on. Was he having a seizure? It didn’t look quite like the ones she’d seen Cadet have, but maybe there were more kinds. Or maybe it was something else. Had something happened to him? She wouldn’t know until either he could talk or passed out, and who knew when that would be. If he was having a seizure she’d know soon enough, and then maybe she’d be able to help. But in the meantime?

    She plopped onto the ground, back resting against the wall as she stretched out to lounge right there on the floor. Her arm was pressed lightly but firmly against his leg. Something to anchor himself to, if he needed to for some reason. She gave an exaggerated yawn. 

    “Yeah I don’t blame you for bein’ quiet, this is stressful. I was downstairs on my own for a fraction of what you usually deal with and I’m already done with it.” She spoke as though he was going to respond, giving his silence some time to fill the air in response. “I ran into Phineas and he left some of his mouth slime on my hand. I think he got….rounder.” She puffed her cheeks out and made a noise one would attribute to a Large Formless Blob. “I think it’s all the shit he talks, he’s swallowing some. The methane’s inflating him AND his ego.”

    She chanced a look up at him before she continued. “I think that probably he’s the worst. He’s just so damn loud. It’s nicer up here. Quiet and you can actually breathe a little without catching someone’s four thousand credit perfume in your mouth. Have you noticed how overdone the smells are? I was thinking about makin’ a little particle-incineratin’ barrier for my nose just to come to these things without havin’ to leave with a headache.”

     A slightly louder inhale and exhale this time. Maybe something… or maybe not. Still, his chest moved a little with the breath, just the slightest twitch. He blinked. She grinned and continued in her lounging, gesturing dramatically. “I mean, how many innocent flowers died in the making of that migraine? How much you wanna bet they don’t even like the smell themselves? It’s the luxury of it all. Poor posies never imagined it would end like that, slathered on a high-falutin’ neck for the drama.” She was trying to be funny, in the hopes he’d maybe smile. She also tried to keep her voice low enough that only he could hear her, even from her ridiculous position splayed out on the floor. She made an attempt at keeping a cadence to her inflection as well. Something easy to follow, soothing.

    His head made a robotic movement, up and down almost imperceptibly as if mimicking the idea of a nod. It seemed like more of an automatic response, something cultivated to try and convince people there was nothing wrong, rather than an indication he understood or processed what she was saying. Not that it would convince anyone, it was the least natural motion she’d ever seen from him, but at least it meant he could hear her. 

    She took a deep breath and moved a little, stretching out in front of him now, right at his feet, still making sure some part of her touched him. She looked around. Still no one, not that it mattered much. This was the most comfort and fun she’d had all night, which really said something about the company they kept at these events. She smiled up at him. “And some of these people are tacky as hell. I have no idea who let them out of the house lookin’ like that. Though I guess honestly I’m not sure who let them out in general, they don’t know how to act right.” She rested her head on a gloved hand, stabilized by her elbow on the floor. She hummed a little in thought. “I wonder what the market would be like for a little robot that tells you when you’ve got a few too many rings on. Absolutely ridiculous, you jack off with that hand?” She lifted her head and counted on her fingers. “I think more than like three per hand is pushin’ it. How do you even lug your own limbs around? Do something useful that’s not stoppin’ me when I’m busy.”

    He actually stopped breathing for a moment at something she’d said in there. Hard to say which part, she’d said a lot of shit. She could ask later. If she remembered. For now she was just looking for something, anything to talk about. “...Yeah, you’re right, it is a little rude not to even try to act like I care.” She continued as if he’d responded to her. “Like I said, I got no idea how you did this on your own for so long. It’s awful. I can only imagine how much more you’d rather be home, curled under a blanket or something. Some hot cocoa instead of this weird champagne with alien fruit in it. I’m not even sure what it is. Do you know of any green fruits with a rind like an orange and the texture of an apple? Tasted awful, and I even double checked, you are supposed to eat it.”

    She was about to barrel on, but some instinct told her to wait. After a moment, Trinity twitched at her side, seeming to struggle for a big enough breath to speak. “Zmenclok.” His voice was empty of all emotion, a blank monotone without inflection. “Antrian fruit.”

    She nodded thoughtfully, a wave of relief crashing over her to hear him speak at all. “The Antrians are a strong people then, because that was the worst fruit I’ve ever put in my mouth by a long shot.” She examined her nails, as though she really cared much. “Left a smell on my hands, I’ve washed them twice already.” She’d also tried to burn the smell off with electricity, but that also hadn’t worked. “I wonder if instead of water soluble sugars, it’s made of something else? That would explain why I hated it, humans might not actually be compatible with the chemical makeup. We’ll know when the bathroom lines reach out to the cars, I suppose.”

    “Uh… huh.” It was almost a sound of agreement, or at least meant to sound like one, with about twelve of those fast, shallow breaths between the syllables. When she glanced up at him, his eyes had gone unfocused and cloudy.

    He could kind of talk, which was good. She didn’t want to push her luck by drawing attention to the state he was pulling himself out of. So she just kept going, starting with a very long, deep inhale and sigh. Maybe he’d get the hint. She usually did when Crim did it, but everyone’s different. “Y’know, I talk a lot of shit, but I do have fun at these sometimes. It’s not the worst thing to look nice and eat weird food. Can’t say I’d recommend the “whole spoonful of just Gensoran caviar” thing but it’s a great story since I’m at these things all the time lately anyway.” She thought for a moment. “The dancin’s pretty alright too. I get some of my best thinkin’ done when I’m not hangin’ upside down, it turns out. I sent off a blueprint to my shop back home, they’re doin’ the rough fabrication for me so I can get the fine tunin’ out of the way on my own. I used to drive ‘em all nuts, gettin’ way too precise.” She had a faraway look in her eyes. She really didn’t think he’d notice. “I kinda miss my mechanics. With just Kelly to watch all of ‘em, I’d hope they can focus hard enough to get anythin’ done.” 

    He might have attempted to follow her example of a deep breath, but he didn’t make it far. His breathing got harsher as she spoke, but no slower or deeper. “A-Az—ure.” He could barely get the word out through his tight, shallow, breaths. His hand closest to her flexed, opening like he was searching for something to grab onto, and she could feel his leg start to tremble against her. He swayed on his feet, unsteady. He was moving now, but it seemed like his frozen state had been compensating for the lack of oxygen he was getting. Any clarity he’d been grasping for answering her questions was fading, and as it did that odd static fuzz picked up through the com again. Somehow, the sound was almost frantic, making her tense up as it invaded her mind.

    She shoved the static away. She could have a secondhand panic at home, with Crim or Perry or something. Priority one: Trinity Jericho does not pass out on the floor of the balcony level stairwell in a ritzy ballroom. Priority two: Trinity Jericho does not get his panic revealed to the general public. In one fluid motion, she got to her feet. Somewhere, a violin bow began a slow trek along its strings. She caught the hand that had been flexing in her own, her other wrapping around his waist as she stepped in close. The same way he’d kept her upright countless times while she was still stumbling around in heels like a newborn giraffe. She was a lot shorter, but her cybernetics kicked in a little to help. Someone walked up the stairs and she gave them a shy smile, brain endlessly working. They passed by with little thought given to the couple dancing in the empty hallway. She thought into the comm, as soothingly as she could.

    Lean in. I’ll lead this time. I promise you’re not heavy. Breathe, Trinity.

    She wasn’t completely sure she was reaching him, but once he had something supporting him at least he could stop fighting so hard to hold himself upright under his own power. Almost his full weight dropped into her, and his head fell to her shoulder. She could feel tiny, hot puffs of air against her neck, as he fought to slow his breathing. His face was still blank of all emotion or expression, but the comm registered his terror— he couldn’t stop, couldn’t control it. His hands twitched, tightening around hers. She gave him a gentle squeeze back.

    Breathe with the music. In-two-three-four, out-two-three-four.

    She continued counting for him, keeping time with the lazy tune playing on the floor below as it floated up to them. She took no real steps, but kept a slow, steady, easy sway. She did the breathing herself, trying to drown his static with her own soothing patterns. Eventually, the rhythm of the swaying and the music started to break through the static— he managed a deep breath in, struggling to release it again as it caught in his chest, until he finally let it all out with a choking exhale. The next time he tried, it was slightly smoother, and he staggered in place. He would have fallen if it weren’t for her arms holding him up. His chest heaved in and out a few more times, and his legs trembled slightly. 

    “I’m. Fine. O—ok.” The words were robotic and clipped.

    “That’s a lie, but you can talk now so I’ll take it.” She continued their swaying, keeping her breathing deep and slow. Her head turned to hide her mouth in his shoulder, away from anyone nearby who might be able to read lips and was piecing it all together. There was no one, realistically, but at this point she also just enjoyed the warmth. “I think I got cornered by every friend you’ve got at these damn things while tryin’ to find you. We can probably dip as soon as you’re ready. They can wait. You can go home, Hotshot. You don’t have to stay on this time.” 

    “Yes. I want to go… soon.” It was like he was reading a teleprompter. They swayed for a bit longer, as his breathing evened out, and after a moment, he tapped her on the shoulder, like he was trying to get her attention. “Can… we sit.” 

    " 'Course we can sit." She slowed them to a stop and let him onto his own two feet as gently as she could, easing him to the ground after that. She flopped down beside him with much less care and ceremony. She nestled herself into his shoulder, just in front of him enough to suggest she was ready to support his weight sitting, if he needed it. "Better?"

    He braced himself against the wall as he slid to the floor. In the back of her mind, through the comm, she could hear what sounded vaguely like numbers, prime numbers, she realized after a moment. Soon enough, they stopped, and he took in another trembling breath. “Yes. Better.” He still didn’t sound like Trinity. It was hard to hear him sound so... absent. “I’m. Coming back.” He paused. “Know where I am. Sorry I… left.”

    She leaned into him gently, lounging as casually as you can in a floor length gown. If he'd been mentally present, she'd have looked like a really old Terran lounge singer. All she was missing was a piano. Her mouth curved into its standard lopsided smile. "If you were just dealin' with what I think you were, I can't say I blame ya for dippin' out. Not exactly fun, Crim's told me." She rolled her shoulder a little. "I wasn't kiddin', you know. I managed to excuse you from the clutches of three of our favorites for the night. We really can just go home once you're back to basics."

    He nodded stiffly, before letting his head loll back against the wall, as if he couldn’t quite hold it up on his own. “Panic attack. No reason. Just too much.” He pressed his hands to the cold tile of the floor, seeking something to feel. “In… a minute. I want to leave. Soon, I can… fake it. Enough to get out.”

    She nodded back, eyeing another set of people making their way up the stairs. She sat up straight, shielding him from view, leaning in a little farther than she might normally, even for what she was here to pretend to be. "Take your time, Trinity." She whispered quietly. He couldn't really keep up an act right now, so she was going to have to put up twice as much. Sorry about this. I'm going to touch you, I'll try to make it as little as I can. She settled her arms around him, head on his shoulder. Her face said adoration while her eyes betrayed the thought involved as she tried to keep the touch as minimal as she could.

    A shudder ran through him as the sounds of the other couple reached them, and his green eyes stared through Azzy instead of at her even as she leaned in close to shield him from their view. His breathing had begun to speed up just slightly, but he managed to at least keep it steady and deep with the help of a quiet chant of prime numbers that slipped into the back of her mind from his, clearly a strategy he had to keep focus and not fall back into whatever empty place he’d been before. 

    The passersby soon left their immediate vicinity, and Azzy pulled away from him slowly. With Crim, there was a 50/50 chance she'd be forbidden from moving and letting him go after a panic attack, so she wanted to give Trinity the option, if he could tell that's what was being offered. She searched his body language for what he needed, other than an opportunity to leave. She briefly wondered if just breaking down a wall and making their own door was that bad of a plan. 

    Trinity made no move to keep her in place, and his body language, like his face, was so still and blank that she couldn’t glean much of anything from it. She wondered what in his life had taught him to panic like this— silent and so absolutely contained that he nearly ceased to exist entirely. She took a deep breath, letting herself also slump against the wall and, for the first time since she found him like this, she looked away. Her eyes remained fixed on the stairwell, quietly willing the partygoers below to stay away as she continued to count the beat of the current song. She took herself away from being pressed to him entirely, giving him some few inches of space. Her part in this was done. All that was left was to wait it out. He’d pulled away from the comm again, closing his thoughts off, but she could hear him breathing steadily behind her as he pulled a bit more fully back to himself. 

    It took a few minutes, but eventually she heard movement behind her as Trinity shifted, clearing his throat. “Alright. I think I should be ready to go now, as long as we don’t have to stop and talk to anyone.” His voice moved up and down in a manner very similar to its usual inflection, but somehow after witnessing what she just had she could tell that it was all very intentional. It wasn’t his real voice, just a very clever approximation that would probably fool anyone who didn’t know him very well. With luck, it would be enough for them to make it out of the building. She got the feeling that it wasn’t going to get any better than this as long as they were still in the place where it had happened.

    She stood and brushed herself off, rolling her shoulder and setting her jaw in its usual stubborn position. She offered him her hands to pull him to standing. “I’ve got it on the way out. Smile and nod like I’m sure you were plannin’ on anyway.”

    In response, he simply smiled. Very convincing, except his eyes were still faraway and empty. “Of course. I’ve had to do this a couple of times before.” He didn’t say ‘alone,’ but she knew what he meant. It was maybe as close to a thank you as he could manage to get out right now. She gave a slightly sadder smile in response. She’d always been easy to read. It made her easy to talk to. Eyes becoming steely, she pulled him up. 

    “Okay, let’s go back to hell.”

    “Already there.” He gave that same empty smile and followed.

    She took his hand in hers and led him down the stairs. The difference from the lazing, relaxed person who’d just sat with him and held him literally upright, to the person leading him through the throng of the rich and forgettable was astounding. She’d never walked this tall at an event before, each step falling exactly where she’d intended it to. In her head, she tracked where she’d entered from, where there were the fewest people they knew and where there were the fewest people in general. She kept an eye out for people who’d been looking for him, breezing past Phineas without him sparing either of them so much as a glance. The usual easy gracefulness she was trying for was replaced with a purposeful stride, static in the air where she stepped.

    She really just wanted to leave as soon as possible. Her brother’s voice rang in her head once more: “People with sense will get out of your way”. She hoped he was right, Trinity needed some fresh air at least. She wove through the crowds, exchanging passing pleasantries through kilowatt smiles and an ever so slightly played up drawl. Trinity barely had to look at who she was speaking to. 

    Somewhere along their way, so close to the exit, she turned a bit quickly, bumping into someone in a purple suit with an overabundance of jewelry. She heard the tinkle of breaking glass and the splash of liquid scattering from the broken cup. The man she’d just spilled wine on looked up from the tablet he’d been occupied with, his face, which might have been familiar had she bothered to think about it, written over with genuine surprise. Trinity’s hand tightened on hers, and she could feel his pulse pounding where his wrist pressed close to hers. She gave a quiet noise of surprise before collecting herself and trying to mind her manners without getting trapped by conversation. “My bad, s’cuse me sir-” She quipped out as she pushed past, pulling Trinity with her without a second thought, stride still sure. Was his breathing starting to speed up again? All the more reason to get out as fast as possible.

    When they finally made it through the doors with no further issues and reached the empty stretch of driveway the car had been called to, Trinity dropped her hand and took a few more breaths to calm himself down again. He didn’t always trust what he saw in this state, but…

    “Oh God,” He muttered, his voice dropping back into its low monotone. “Tell me he’s not following. I can’t…” words failed him, and he rubbed his hands together, trying to generate some feeling. He prayed the car would arrive soon. She looked behind them. No one.

    “No one followed us, Hotshot. What’s got you bent outta shape again? I said excuse me.” Her words were callous, but she sounded genuinely concerned. She thought she’d done well, and he certainly seemed like he had more important things to worry about than her being a little rude on accident.

    “I know.” He took in a breath too fast, and forced it to exit more slowly. “But he’s too observant. I can’t let him see… this. You-- you know how he is, don’t you.” It should have been a question, but the phrase didn’t go up at the end to indicate it.

    She raised a brow, moving to touch his shoulder lightly, hoping to steady him on his feet a little better and give him something to ground with. “Tacky?” She, again, sounded genuine, making a little joke to lighten this bizarre mood they’d cooked up.

    He turned to face her, and somehow her response shocked an actual expression out of him, his eyes slightly widened. “Azure. That man was…” a very slight twitch of the corner of his mouth, like this was something he really didn’t want to address. “My employer.”

    Her mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ the moment the final syllable was out. It closed a moment later, and her brow furrowed, guilt all over her features. “That really is a problem then, ain’t it? Shit Trinity, I’m sorry. I was just tryin’ to get us both outta there. It’s not like its exactly my forte, bein’ in crowds.” She ran her hand through her curls, bunching them up at the base of her neck. Her hands sparked some but she didn’t shake them out. “Still I’m...shit, I’m sorry.”

    He took a few calming breaths, trying to look reassuring, but he was clearly still struggling to be expressive. “It’s alright. He… didn’t notice anything. Won’t bother with it… once it’s not interesting anymore.”

    Azzy bit back her Sounds like a real peach to know comment, only to realize a moment later she still had her comm in, and the sardonic tone was not subtle. She cleared her throat. “As long as you’re fine. I don’t exactly have a lot to fear from ‘im, so if you think you’re fine then you probably are.”

    “I’m not afraid of him.” He sighed slightly and glanced down the road impatiently, waiting for the car to arrive. “But showing weakness is dangerous.”

    Somehow, Azure managed to say nothing for long enough to choose her next words carefully. “Guess it’s good I didn’t see anythin’ then.” Her mouth molded the words in such a way that when they left her mouth, they carried the clear reminder she was technically a vigilante by trade as well as a cybernetic engineer: She was offering him the option to ask her to forget. To ignore the whole night, act like it had never happened. Nothing gained, nothing lost. Just a black box of a night she’d never bring up again.

    He looked at her, putting together her meaning. After a moment, he gave a slow nod of his head. His eyes held hard steel that said he understood, and a flash of gratitude that she assumed was the last indication she’d get that anything happened, before he turned away again. 

    “I appreciate your company at these events, Azure. It certainly serves its purpose.”

    She simply nodded in understanding as the car finally pulled up the drive, jewelry glinting in the moonlight and features placid. Face blank. Like nothing had happened. She glanced around to make sure there wasn’t anyone outside, before opening the door for him. A friendly gesture. 

    He smirked at her, this one closer to genuine than she’d seen all night, as he got into the car. “What a gentleman. Come on, you have to get back to the ship.”

    She rolled her eyes and got in the car herself. “The lady’s in a rush to be rid of me. Forsooth, my heart. It breaks.” His smirk reflected back at him. He smacked her shoulder lightly as she got in, and the car finally pulled away from the event, headed for home.

9. Little Victories

    Azzy’s feet hit the cold metal of the ship over and over, shoes in one hand and excessive skirt bunched high in the other as she ran clear across the entire crew quarters level from the entrance, leaving a trail of static in her wake. She’d long since abandoned any idea of propriety now that she was back on her own home turf. Her run stopped at the end of the hall, where hers, her brother’s, Periwinkle’s, Indigo’s, and Smalls’ cabins were clustered. Breathless and eyes alight with excitement, she knocked on Perry’s door, finally doubling over to pant and wait for them to answer.

    The door opened on Perry’s confused face. “Azure, what—?”

    Azzy stood up straight once the door opened, beaming if a little embarrassed by her own energy. “I want you to guess what I did today, you’ll think it’s hilarious.”

    “Ok, well…” they blinked at her, clearly baffled. “You were off the ship today. With a ‘friend,’ wasn’t it?” It was an affectation— many of the people on the ship had figured out at this point where Azzy went when she was planetside and who she was with, and Perry specifically had probably known since date number two, but it was an unspoken rule to pretend they didn’t. 

    Azzy rolled her eyes at the implication. Trinity was a friend, and a good one. Even if he was, by every account, very shady. So were all of them, so who were they to talk? She pushed the retort back in favor of continuing to beam. “I ran into Fate. Quite literally, I might add. Spilled wine on him, heard the “oh!”, all of it. Ruined his shirt, I guarantee you, maybe that awful purple suit too. Not sure he knew it was me, because I sure as hell had to be told who he was. Why didn’t you tell me he was so tacky?”

    Perry blinked, expression caught somewhere between abject terror and the sort of expression one might make after being smacked upside the head with a brick— and then he laughed out loud, the sound ringing down the halls of the ship. “I’m sure I’ve mentioned all those goddamn rings at least once.” She grinned, sharklike. “Bumping into him, spilling on his shirt, and worst of all, not knowing who he was? That sounds like his worst nightmare.”

    Azure loved seeing her friend smile. Made her all fuzzy inside. She grinned back. “I think I might have blown him off a few more times before that too. I was tryin’ to find my date and he just kept puttin’ himself in my path. Like I didn’t have better things to do. I’m a livin’ taser, he’s lucky he wasn’t fried. I was already anxious as hell, it was more than possible.” She gave a little yawn. “Anyway, I’m beat. Have fun eatin’ puddin’ with my brother.”

    Perry’s soft chuckle followed her down the hall as she left.

10. Handled

    It didn’t hit Trinity until much later that night what exactly Azure had done while he’d been… incapacitated. He knew he was still far too anxious to sleep, no matter how exhausted he was, so he’d taken the advice he vaguely remembered from while Azzy’d been chattering to him earlier that evening and wrapped himself in a blanket on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate. There was no need to wake up his sister this late-- he’d just sleep tomorrow. 

    He’d already had the cocoa made when he remembered that it was Azure who’d mentioned it in the first place, and as he’d sat and slowly unraveled his tangled, panic laden memories of the night, he’d begun to piece together everything else she’d said and done. The first thing was how she’d handled finding him in that state. Others who’d stumbled upon him in the past had done everything from trying to shake him out of it to calling an ambulance, and not one had actually been helpful. He knew his attacks were strange and unfamiliar even to people who had ones of their own, but she’d simply waited, using sound and touch to bring him back until she could see what he needed. In some ways, he barely knew her, and yet she’d helped him out of it more quickly and painlessly than anyone except perhaps his sister ever had. How had she known, and honestly, why had she bothered? He’d almost believed she would just leave once he disappeared for long enough.

    The next fact that rose to his mind as he considered everything else she’d said was the reason they’d been able to leave so quickly in the first place. Not only had she expertly hidden his compromised state from passerby while he recovered, but she’d been on her own in the crowds the whole time he’d been gone. He had no real concept of how long that had been, but it was impressive at any amount. Not only had she been able to wade through the masses of humanity successfully, she’d apparently expertly handled each business partner or contact he’d been meant to speak with tonight, to the point that not a single person had accosted them or vied for Trinity’s attention on the way out. Even the run-in with Fate, as stressful as it had been at the time, he was sure had been purely accidental. This one night alone had given Trinity more confidence in Azzy’s ability to conduct herself well at these events, more than any dancing improvement or small talk or perfect dinner etiquette. More than that, it was yet another example of something she absolutely didn’t have to do, but did anyway, for a reason he couldn’t puzzle out.

    The final piece to the puzzle was her very last gift to him as they waited for a car-- an unspoken promise to forget this moment of weakness, never to bring it up again. It was easy to forget the real business she was in sometimes, that she traveled with a ship of vigilantes with checkered and secretive pasts and plenty of issues of their own. It was unlike him, but somehow he felt he could trust her with that weakness. Not only did he believe her when she said she would treat it as though it never happened, but he wasn’t afraid of it coloring her interactions with him. Even subconsciously. His memories of the night were still hazy and sorting through them was exhausting and painful work, but if he knew one thing, it was that he could trust Azure. If he’d thought it before, now he was sure. 

    Trinity pulled his blanket tighter around himself and took a sip of cocoa. She was right, this was much better than being in a crowded ballroom. He should do this more often.

Taglist (ask to be added or removed!): @glitterandstarshine @rainbowcoloreddays @the-starlight-chills @erased-in-stone @charlottedotexe

General: @elywritesbydarkness @residentofthedisc @humour-and-hyperfocus @skyfirewrites

[celestial-ringleader]

💭👻👀🎈🎀

Thanks for the ask \o/

💭 Any ideas for a possible WIP?

I have actually been discussing an AU with @rewrite-a-million-dreams (which is v long and too complex to explain, but to say the least there’s magic and dragons in it) but I have been plotting out a story based around our ramblings.

👻 2 or 3 sentences from something you haven’t posted yet?

“The air was frigid, sending a minute shiver down his spine after every breath he took as he trudged along the snowy floor, the crush of snow beneath his feet filling the empty forest, alerting smaller creatures as he continued his path. The stranger kept his head hung low, pulling his crimson cloak closer together with his free hand while his other flung his satchel over his shoulder….” -from “Natural” (werewolf AU)

“…Phillip nods, setting down the kit and hurrying to the gourney. Now that he’s closer, he caught a glimpse of hair, then a face, a human face, he stares, absolutely speechless, at the creature the rescue team dragged in…” -from “Off the Deep End” (merm AU)

👀 Favorite response to one of your works?

That’s easy, this was something i posted on AO3 a little while ago, it made my heart flip a little bit bc it was one of the first comments I got that was really long (warning a little NSFW):

“This is highly cute and also hilarious and I like it a lot AAAAAAA!!!I have many questions including and now exclusive to why the heck does Barnum have so many spare pairs of clothes in his office? Like dude please, stop living in your office, go home and get some rest and have a bath and change there. If you have a wardrobe in your office then you are working Too Much™. Phillip is so cute in this and also hot damn that boi can do the splits on the lyra in titepants, THAT is a good image yo. Him being worried about his partner is blessed and adorable. He is one good egg. I’m glad he didn’t take advantage of Phin while he was in a state and was 200% focused on helping him get the stuff out of his system. And Poor Phin bab was in so much pain. He needs a good hug that is what he needs. Also all the teeny little things helped establish a mood of environment. I really like the small details like that the little silk pillows on their sofa are Phillips, and that they only brought in that sofa so that Phin could nap when he’s overworking but they also use it to get up to hyjinks together.Their relationship is very heartfelt with a lot of compassion and understanding and I like that they talked things through and Phillip was reassuring and thoughtful. They are really well written and good rounded characters with a lot of emotion and a solid narrative to follow.The story was well paced and easy to read with a really good mix of hysterically funny bits as well as quite touching moments which I think played out really well in terms of the mood of the story.You are a very good writer as well as an artist and I’d love to read more of your work. Keep creating fic, you clearly have quite a talent here.I loved this and 12/10 would read again.” (from @circuskingfeels/Eve on “How Much is Too Much?”)

And of course there’s this other one on a different work (again also NSFW) and it made me feel so good bc they’re a pretty good author:

“God how do I even begin with this. Like how do I

the roller coaster started when you exposed me with that url drop tbh BUT I AM SO. HONOURED. I AM SO HAPPY AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WERE INSPIRED BY MY WHINGEING AND THAT THIS IS THE PRODUCT OF THAT INSPIRATION

One super important thing– I like the inclusion of discussion before the smut starts. That’s very realistic and it was a class act to include it!!

But now we go on to the meat of the subject which is holy CHRIST, your descriptions are INCREDIBLE. Like being able to write filth is one thing, but good god you do it with such attention to detail I? Am awed??? I find that it’s a way to enhance feelings a character may have for another– in this case Phil towards Phin– and you write Phin like he’s living poetry with verses tattooed in every tensing muscle and Phil loves every moment of it. AND I LOVE IT TOO. The detail makes it obvious that Phin is sensitive to all this touching and groping, and it’s! What! He! Deserves!!!!!

I love how Phil kept teasing him too? LMAO. Using the “~” is usually so wild to me but it really conveys this cooing tone… which, again, Phin fucking DESERVES. Augh!!!!

Absolutely wonderful fic. I loved it. I loved the pacing! And seriously, your descriptions are ART. I cannot fucking deal.

As a completely irrelevant sidenote I thought there’d be an explanation for it, but why is Phin reluctant about receiving in this universe? I AM CURIOUS, AS SOMEONE WHO ONLY EVER WRITES HIM AS RECEIVING, SO. also i don’t read the discord stuff oops

or was it because he was a virgin. See how I typed “was”? HA. PHILLIP POPPED HIS CHERRY. i’m so proud

THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT. THANK YOU FOR PINGING ME TO READ THIS AUGHHHHHHH I AM GOING TO CHERISH THIS AND HOLD IT CLOSE TO MY HEART FOREVER…” (from @hughbyjackman on “Tease”)

🎈 What’s a spoiler for a WIP or series?

Well,,,i may have spoiled one on the first question lol but I can throw a little tidbit from the back and forth convo between me and Jac:

“okay. so.

to try and summarize it, Phillip (at the time he was a prince) comes across Phineas who he thinks is an average person during a storm and Phin got injured by dragon hunters (who are a big deal in Phillip’s kingdom) and ofc Phil, being a good person, takes him into his castle for shelter and to make sure he’s well (yes Phil is a sorcerer/wiccan) Phineas, not wanting to share his true identity, tells Phillip he used to be a knight for another kingdom and has spent his days since then wandering and bc Phillip has taken a big interest in Phineas, Phillip appoints him his knight whenever he becomes king lets say his father died a few months beforehand and Phil couldnt be happier 

After the coronation party, when it’s official that Phillip is now king, he finds Phineas half transformed in his bedroom (bc the poor thing got stressed out from the party and saw a lot of people wearing jewelry and armor made from dragon scales)”

🎀 Favorite story?

Out of the stories I wrote, my fav has to be “How Much is Too Much?” but from other people i have to say one of my favorites is “Sink Me In” written by @silverlynxx (warning, it’s NSFW but its a good read)

[memories-are-mine]

Dude listen. Please. Write something for me it can be so cheesy that is makes me lactose intolerant. I just need some dad™️ pt and phill his hurting son like please. Just please.

Did I hear the word Cheesy??? 

This is pure fluff. 

Come Back Home:

Summary: Phillip and Anne give the Barnums a surprise and Phillip gets the dad speech about running into burning buildings that he deserves. Also he gets lots of hugs. 

Word count: 1602

Enjoyyyy!!!!!

Phillip strolled down the street toward the Barnums’ large townhouse. They’d moved out of the rich neighborhood where Phillip had grown up, to another one on the other side of the city. It was a posh neighborhood, not as fancy and high class as the one Phillip had grown up in, but it was no slum. He preferred it that way, though. There were no reminders of his old life. Of the disapproving eyes of his parents burning into him.

Phillip shook the thought away. This was a happy occasion, not to be ruined by thoughts of his parents and the old life that he had led. Being upset would not help anyone.  

Nobody but Anne knew that Phillip was awake and had been released the previous day. Anne had suggested it. She said she wanted to see the looks on their faces when Phillip knocked on their front door.

Anne was already there, at the Barnums’, stalling for time while Phillip got ready for the big surprise. She had instructed him to leave about twenty minutes after she did, going under the pretense that she needed some comfort.

The thought of seeing everyone again made Phillip want to run down the street with glee, but he contained himself. He still wasn’t fully healed, and the last thing he wanted was to pass out again. He wouldn’t want to ruin the big surprise.

The ecstacy swelled in Phillip as he walked up to the Barnums’ front door. The candy bars in his pockets for the girls certainly didn’t hurt either. He hoped that they wouldn’t be too angry with him for not telling them right away, but they’d get over it.

Phillip could hear voices from inside the house as he stood at the front door. Anne’s soft murmur, then Charity’s comforting mother tone that she used with Phillip on occasion. He heard dancing feet and knew that Caroline must have been in the front room as well.

God, he’d missed them. Missed them more than he could ever say out loud, and not just while in the hospital.

Phillip knocked on the door three times, then waited. He could almost feel Anne trying not to laugh even from outside as the door swung open.

“Phillip?” Charity stared in shock.

“Hi,” Phillip grinned. “Surprise.”

“You’re alive… You’re awake… you’re here…” Charity seemed to have trouble forming coherent sentences.

Phillip nodded, trying not to laugh. “I thought it’d be a nice surprise?” He was enjoying the looks of shock on their faces. Clearly, this had worked the way they had intended. Anne had played her part beautifully.

Even now she was cackling in the background, enjoying her moment of acting glory.

Charity turned on Anne. “You knew? And you didn’t tell us.”

Anne was laughing too hard to respond. She simply nodded, laughing so hard that tears were  rolling down her face.

Caroline hugged Phillip as tightly as possible, and he hissed in pain, even though he tried to disguise it with a smile. He didn’t want Caroline to feel guilty.

Charity saw it immediately, though, and came over to pry Caroline off Phillip. “Give him a bit of space, love. He’s still healing.”

Caroline let go instantly, looking very guilty. “I’m sorry, Phillip,” she said. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“I’m fine,” Phillip said gently, carefully kneeling down to look Caroline in the eye. “It’s alright, you didn’t know. And, no, you didn’t hurt me.” He put one arm around her, and with his other hand carefully fished in his pocket for the candy bar. “Now that,” he said with a smile. “Is for you.”

“Ah, back with the grand tradition of spoiling my children, I see.” Charity grinned and pulled Phillip into a hug, though not as tightly as Caroline had. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

Phillip smiled back, looking a little guilty about giving Caroline candy. “I’m glad too.” He knew he was lucky that he had survived the fire at all. He turned towards Phineas, who had entered the room silently with Helen in tow, and was staring at him. “I have you to thank for that.”

Phineas said nothing for a few seconds, simply staring at Phillip, standing in the doorway. After a little bit of an awkward moment, he said. “Phillip, what were you thinking?”

“I…” Phillip struggled to form an answer.  

Before he could say anything more, Phineas interrupted him. “Do you know how badly you scared us? Running into a burning building? Are you insane? You could have been killed!”

“I thought Anne was in there,” said Phillip quietly, as though that would justify everything that had happened.

“God, Phillip, you’re an idiot.” Phineas walked over and wrapped Phillip in a hug. “Never do that again.”

“Don’t run into any more burning buildings, got it.” Phillip smiled at him. “I had no plans of doing that again anytime soon.”

Phineas laughed. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

Anne had stopped laughing at this point, and she came up to slip her hand in Phillip’s. “I’m glad, too.” She kissed him on the cheek as Phineas and Charity tired to hide knowing smiles. They’d seen this a mile away.

Helen stopped. She looked from Phillip to Anne and back again, looked at their interlocked fingers. A grin slowly spread acros her face. “I knew it!”” She turned toward her sister. “ I told you they looked at each other like mommy and daddy!” She noticed the chocolate bar on the table. “Where’d you get that?”

Phineas and Charity weren’t even trying to disguise their laughter at this point. Phillip rolled his eyes at them before he turned to Helen.

“Where do you think?” Phillip asked. “Also, do I get a hug? Or did you just miss the candy?”

A look passed over Helen’s face, it was an odd one, as if she was truly registering for the first time what her big brother had been through, and that that he truly was back.

Phillip knelt as Helen ran up and threw her arms around his neck. She looked like she was trying not to cry with joy. “I’m so glad you’re back, Phillip,” she said. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Phillip smiled and dug another candy bar out of his pocket. “Me too. There you go.”

Helen didn’t even seem to notice the candy bar.

She held onto him until Charity came over and gently pried her off, telling her and her sister to go eat their candy bars. “Phillip isn’t going anywhere,” she said with a fond smile. “Not for a while, at least.”

“You’ve got that right,” Phillip laughed. “Go have fun.”

Helen reluctantly took the candy bar, thanked him, gave him one last hug, and ran to stand with her sister in the doorway.

Phineas turned to Anne. “Also, you knew Phillip was awake, and you didn’t tell us?”

“His idea!” Anne protested.

“It was your idea,” Phillip retorted.

“But you were the one who thought it was so funny and that we had to do it.”

“I don’t understand love,” Caroline whispered to Helen. Very loudly.

“Me neither,” Helen replied. “Let’s go play.”

The adults couldn’t hold in their laughter as Caroline and Helen left. Phillip laughed so hard it hurt, but he couldn’t tell if it was from his injuries or because he was so unbelievably filled with joy. Whatever it was, it didn’t really bother him.

“Your kids are really something,” Anne chuckled.

“Mhm,” PT said, putting an affectionate arm around both her and Phillip. “They sure are.”

After dinner that evening, Charity was inside cleaning up, and Anne was keeping the girls occupied, so Phillip and Phineas stood out on the balcony, watching the stars wheel through the night sky. They talked about nothing and anything, listening to Anne and the girls laughing inside.

“Phineas,” Phillip said after a while. “In all seriousness. I mean it when I say that you are the only reason that I’m alive. You shouldn’t have run in after me, you have Charity, and the girls…”

“Phillip, Phillip.” Phineas stopped his train of words as he spoke. “What was I going to do? Just leave you in there? I couldn’t do that.”

“I’m just trying to say thank you for saving my life,” Phillip said. “Just go with it.”

“And I’m trying to say stop trying to say thank you,” Phineas replied. “I feel like I’m repeating myself for the fifteenth time.  You don’t need to thank us for anything. You’re part of our family too. Just go with it.”

Phillip nodded, smiling. “I know I am.”

Charity poked her head out the door. “Dessert!” She said cheerfully.

Phineas and Phillip looked at one another.

“Dibs on first piece,” Phillip called as he took off. 

“Not if I get it first,” Phineas retorted.

Anne got the first piece. 

While they ate, Phillip looked around. Phineas and Charity were whispering at the end of the table, Caroline and Helen were throwing pecans at one another, playing a game called who could get a pecan in who’s glass first. And then there was Anne, who was sitting silently beside him, a smile on her face as she watched the girls play. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder, pressing her head against his neck. 

If Phillip could have chosen one moment in time to freeze forever, this would have been it. They would have their problems, their trials, their hardships. They’d already had an abundance of them. But here, sitting together around the table, with the fire cheerfully glowing, a piece of pie on everyone’s plate, and his family all around him, Phillip couldn’t have asked for a more perfect way to start his brand new adventure.

[averruncusho]

phineas and ferb gave us unrealistically high and gay standards for villains and we were forever spoiled

I’m just gonna say it