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quillyfied · 5 years ago

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Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 5

What up, it’s back!

77 carefully-curated titles for your perusal today! As always, the fics are broken into the following categories: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/The Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Just Soft, Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. I don’t read smut fics but sometimes there are sexual elements to the stories and sometimes you get invested and then suddenly the author drops a smut chapter, so warnings where applicable.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

LET ME KNOW IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR MISATTRIBUTED AND I WILL FIX IT RIGHT AWAY.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Get Thee To A Nunnery – Owenjones (T, the one where Aziraphale is put in a nunnery and needs a bit of a rescue. More or less Ineffable Wives time, but warnings for Aziraphale being forced into a female corporation against his will, that’s pretty icky (three guesses for who the offending Archangel is). Crowley is posing as a little lady known as Julie D’Aubigny, which, if that rings no bells, you should Google her immediately and then go into this fic cackling like I did. Very sweet, a fun little adventure!)

2. Bibliophilia – @wingedspirit (G, the one where Aziraphale has a book nemesis and Crowley always seems to have the perfect book as a gift, what a coincidence. This is so funny, you guys, seriously. We stan ONE (1) oblivious angel in this house. And when Aziraphale finally catches on, it’s so cute, I can’t even. I cannot EVEN. Go read it right now immediately.)

3. The Heart Goes To Heaven, The Head Goes To Hell – Dekkles (T, the one where Crowley has intentions of making an angel Fall and it kinda…backfires. Guys fair warning, this one’s version of Hell is really gross, if you’re squeamish tread very carefully bc WOW it can get a bit graphic. Y’know what’s also gross? The PINING (obviously not gross in the same way but the pining is awfully feelsy and part of it does happen in Hell). Watching this Crawly go from an honestly nauseating portrayal of Hell to watching Aziraphale and kinda awkwardly twitching in his light is so delightful and I hope for more in the future (though maybe less visions of Hell, I will be so glad if and when the fic leaves that place because yikes).)

4. i like this place (it feels spooky) – @asideofourown (G, the one where Warlock manages to convince Nanny and Brother Francis to take him to a haunted house and it’s so cute. You guys. It’s SO cute. You really get a feel for little Warlock’s personality and how he sees things (and he sees ALL). Just a really cute “family” outing, really, and someone gets spooked at the end and it’s not who you think!)

5. Doubt the Stars are Fire – LilithReisender (T, the one where Aziraphale bails Crowley out of prison and they spend time together in an Italian villa. This one has cool history bits, really fun banter, and Crowley actively on the job while trying to pretend he isn’t on the job. It’s a delight, and it’s just getting started! Jump on this bandwagon, folks, it’s great!)

6. The Hellfire Club – @amarguerite (NR, the one where greater measures are taken to make sure Aziraphale isn’t promoted back upstairs. This one is so hilarious, you guys, I can’t even tell you which bit is my favorite. And the cherry on top? Wing grooming! (I can also tell you that something highly unpleasant happens to Sandalphon, if that sweetens the pot for anyone.) If you have a Thing for Crowley and Aziraphale being melodramatic and overacting, then stay put, friends. Also continue reading this list, there’s a few more that’ll catch your eye later on.)

7. The Immortal Look – MickyRC (G, the one where Crowley puts Aziraphale in some kohl and it’s awesome. A written entry for the Prince of Omens DTIYS, and even independent from Prince of Omens this fic is a winner, in my book. Crowley going dewy-eyed over Aziraphale’s looks in any capacity is always My Jam and this fic really goes for it.)

8. Merry & Bright – @peppervl (G, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley go undercover as a married couple in the Regency. You like fem!Aziraphale but don’t see it often enough? SIT DOWN, FRIENDO. Not only does this have a lovely Miss Fell for us to fawn over, but it’s a Miss Fell in possession of a fortune and surely in want of a husband, according to prim-and-proper London, and who better to help her out than one Mr. Crowley who happens to need some help on a temptation? Fun, romantic, and with a cute little twist at the end I shan’t spoil but you should really stick around for.)

9. Putting the Endearment in Dear – @joyandotherstories (G, the one where Aziraphale starts calling everyone “dear” just so he can also call Crowley by endearments. This one is sweet and a little sad and has the softest possible ending, y’all don’t even know. Read it, the point in time where Aziraphale doesn’t have to hold back his mountain of endearments anymore is a sight to behold.)

10. Between the Lines – cyankelpie (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale’s feelings are known but not spoken, at least not directly. This one is a historical jaunt where they have a lot of double-meaning conversations (and Crowley is very rightly lost through a lot of it, poor dear), and it aches, you guys, it just hurts. Not finished yet as of this review but WHEN IT’S DONE—I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Hot dang.)

11. No Matter How the Stars Align (They Make Me Think of You) – silentsonata (G, the one that covers stars that Crowley and Aziraphale have met under. Every once in a while there’ll come along a fic that shakes the ground as it walks. I understand the Big Bang events usually churn these out, and there are quite a few on this list, but this fic here? A masterpiece. Pitch-perfect in every way, just a stunner. I want to tell y’all to pay special attention to certain chapters but they all took my breath utterly away and it would be unfair to single any out over the rest, the whole work is a monument. Just beautiful.)

12. Too Wise to Woo Peaceably – purewanderlust (T, the one that’s five times they see “Much Ado About Nothing” throughout history. I love me some “Much Ado,” personally, and this fic knows what it’s on about. Wonderfully romantic and ends with the single most perfect conversation, I swear 2 someone. Hits right in the feels.)

13. Just Another Sword Fight – DemonicGeek (NR, the one that’s a 5+1 about Crowley swordfighting. If you’re here because Aziraphale taking on the role of the swooning maiden to Crowley’s dashing hero makes you, in fact, be the one swooning, say hello to your new best friend. If you like to follow all that up with Aziraphale taking charge when needed, I might suggest building a home here, because ABSOLUTELY that’s what you’re getting.)

14. A Few More Rescues – @poetic----nonsense (T, the one with, predictably, a few more rescues. If the previous fic had you reeling and begging for more, welcome to the buffet, children. These are some really fun rescues by Crowley on behalf of Aziraphale, and they’re unconventional and historical AF (especially the bit with the dragon) (you bet your sweet keister there’s a bit with a dragon). This fic is so much fun and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.)

15. Floriography – Frenchmeister (T, the one where Crowley doesn’t get flower language. The premise is, Crowley slept through a large chunk of the Victorian era, so he doesn’t know what Aziraphale keeps trying to say as they work at the Dowlings’ estate raising Warlock. He does know that the philodendron is a menace, no matter what it’s supposed to mean. Funny and nerve-wracking and so, so sweet.)

16. The Interplay of Illusion and Magic – SoulJelly (T, the one where Aziraphale tries to join a magicians’ society. This one has some delightful history and Aziraphale trying to perform sleight of hand magic to get in a secret magicians club and a surprising twist near the middle, all told; it’s a lot more exciting than I initially thought it was going to be (I was just expecting some fluff and that was not all I got; it’s always a good day when Crowley has to come to the rescue).)

SOUTH DOWNS

17. There goes the neighborhood – @bestoftheseekwill (G, the one where Crowley’s retirement peace is threatened by construction. If you’re here for Crowley wiles, anti-capitalism, and flashes of protective Aziraphale, get ready to take a load off because this is primo.)

18. Teatime Revelations – Cardinal_Daughter (T, the one where God invites Herself over for tea. This one is strained and it’s emotional and it’s all the softer for it. Aziraphale being quiet and protective while Crowley has a come-apart in the face of God is iconic, tbh; pretty sure this fic inspired a lot of my own portrayals of the GOmens God, looking back on it. A wonderful and light-hearted take.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

19. Lose a Kraken, Gain an Angel – MistressKat (T, the one where Hastur has an expected friendship. This fic has everything—Hastur being a sympathetic character, the Kraken, Crowley pining after Aziraphale, the Antichrist, and is hilarious from start to finish. A fun and tonally accurate diversion, please read.)

20. Something Old, Something New – shippityshipship (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are involved in weddings. Short and hasn’t updated in a while but still excellent reading, I find; great characterization, some fun OCs, lovely atmosphere, oblivious pining while everyone else thinks they’re dating, it’s amazing.)

21. The difficulty with disposable demons – @areyougonnabe (T, the one where Eric the disposable demon shows up and it’s a madhouse in Crowley’s apartment. This is a really funny take on what happens to the disposable demons and why they are the way they are, and with the added bonus of driving Crowley up the wall and some mild miscommunications with Aziraphale that are all sorted out in the end.)

22. Care and Keeping – @arcafira (M, T, the series where Crowley is shedding and Aziraphale tries to help. Not rated M for anything violent or sexual, really more of a T than an M but there is a bath scene and a lot of self-loathing. There’s a lot of convincing Crowley to let Aziraphale care for him and a lot of working through Fall-related issues, but it leaves off in a wonderfully hopeful place.)

23. The Clockwork Days – redwinehouse (T, the one where the world’s ending again. There are many fics that have tackled possible sequels to Good Omens and this is one of the more tonally accurate ones, I feel; it’s very tongue-in-cheek and matter-of-fact, and the little twist at the end was a genuine surprise to me. Whack in plenty of mutual pining and a Bentley that has had it up to HERE with these idiots and you’ve got a recipe for a good little story.)

24. don’t leave me here alone – Elvendork (T, the one where Crowley asks for holy water again. This one is a tense argument, right up until it isn’t, and absolutely delectable, really. If you’re a fan of Aziraphale bringing up hellfire to go toe to toe with Crowley on the issue, BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP, this one is dunking itself into Soft Town with that accelerant to really drive it home.)

25. The Next Time We Wed – seashadows (T, the one where a mix-up leads to marriage. If drunken mistakes and their aftermath is what you’re after, welcome to the party, folks, because this one’s a whopper. Can people pine while being married to each other? The answer is yes. Can it have a soft ending? Also yes. Can it include the mothers of such characters as Anathema and Newt being wonderful characters in their own right? The answer, incredibly, is yes.)

26. You Can’t Un-See A Dog – @holycatsandrabbits (T, the one where Crowley is summoned and there’s shenanigans afoot. I won’t talk too much about the plot of this one bc I don’t want to spoil it but suffice it to say that this one is hilarious and has some especially gratifying Ineffable Husband silent communication at play. If your entire reason for existence, like Crowley’s, is seeing Bastard!Aziraphale at work, then bunk down here, friendos, you’ve arrived.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

27. Crowley, Big Bad Demon, Can Keep His Cool Around His Crush – @edennovik (T, the one where Crowley…well, see title, and then immediately disregard. Crowley cannot, in fact, keep his cool around his crush. Crowley is doing the opposite of keeping his cool around his crush. Crowley is a ball of anxiety and screaming pining gooey mess and Aziraphale might just like him anyway.)

AU/UA

28. If Not Now, When – @ineffablefool (T, the one where trans café worker Crowley strikes up a conversation with fat pretty Aziraphale. Listen. Y’all know ineffablefool. Y’all know he is a force that cannot be stopped or reckoned with, when it comes to Soft Fat-Postive Asexual Romance. So I do not say this lightly when I say that this is possibly his masterwork. There is a lot of good, good content in his catalogue but the emotional work put into this makes the whole thing stand straight up and resonate. It’s tender and respectful and handles conflicts of gender and sexuality with grace and gentleness and oh no I’m tearing up pls send help I’m DROWNING—).

29. Trip the Light – @summerofspock (M, the one where Aziraphale falls in love first. M for a sex scene near the end of the fic, second half of Chapter 17, so keep an eye out for that if you’re sensitive to it. Oh, y’all. This one goes through canon and a few scenes outside of it and the recontextualizing of those scenes as Aziraphale hopelessly in love and Crowley as oblivious is amazing. Even more amazing: once Crowley finally catches on and then it becomes Aziraphale once again in his role of holding back. Guys. Y’all. My DUDES. I am in the throes of agony. It’s so good.)

30. one love (only for you) – @weatheredlaw (M, the one that’s a vague Snow White AU. It’s truly unfair how poetic and romantic this one is, how lovely. It has fantasy elements and ridiculous vengeful brothers and soft, soft boys in love. A sweet little way to spend an afternoon, tbh.)

31. in the house we remain – @commodorecliche (M, the one where Crowley’s a ghost in the house Aziraphale has bought. M for masturbation, weird ghost sex, and a harrowing backstory for Crowley; if you’re squeamish about sexual things and not good at gauging how to skip them, or if you can’t stand abuse stories, I would pass this one up. Y’all. Y’ALL. So thoroughly upsetting, this one; the horror elements are real but so is the romance and it’s a beautiful balance of the two. What’s wild is how believable it is; it could easily have been a story about Aziraphale just becoming obsessed with and romanticizing a dead person who used to live in his house but it feels like an actual love story, with Crowley learning how to trust Aziraphale, as well, despite their planar incompatibility. The ending is so unbelievably sweet. And there’s art now! There wasn’t, when I first added it to the list! Huzzah!)

32. pop! goes my heart – @areyougonnabe (E, the one that’s a Music and Lyrics AU. E for a sex scene near the end of Chapter 6 that’s a bit difficult to skip, since there’s a couple of relevant paragraphs after it that set up the next chapter, but if you’re up for the challenge, godspeed. First things first: this fic has ORIGINAL MUSIC RECORDED BY THE AUTHOR AND IT’S AMAZING. Music and Lyrics is one of my personal favorite romcoms, and what’s been done with it is not only accurate to the actual music industry, but accurate to the characters, as well. It’s such a fun story, adapted well, and the writing style is just charming. Fantastic!)

33. For the First Time in Forever – @nicnacsnonsense (T, the one that’s a Frozen AU. I am excited for this one, y’all. The adaptation is already so much fun and it’s only going to get funner. Aziraphale as Elsa and Crowley in an Anna-adjacent role (but not actually bc no incest) is amazing, the Olaf stand-in outshines the original, and the emotional toll is already pretty high. Absolutely worth a read.)

34. Sailor’s Omens – NeverNooitNiet (G, the one where Crowley’s a pirate and Aziraphale is his prisoner. There’s a touch of historical homophobia but that doesn’t matter much out at sea, really. If the boys being clever and bickering and also one-upping beloved series antagonists is something you enjoy, welcome to the party, friends. It’s a good old-fashioned piracy romp that’s sure to satisfy.)

35. Pomegranate Seeds – @nicnacsnonsense (G, the one that’s a Persephone and Hades AU with Aziraphale as Hades and Crowley as Persephone. This one has a unique tone and is also romantic as all get-out; throw in genderfluid Crowley, love at first sight, and Aziraphale being a sweetie, it’s a story well worth its salt, imo.)

36. Laws of Gravity – @brightwanderer (T, the one where Aziraphale invents pining for Raphael. Listen. I think we all know at this point that brightwanderer, or Atalan on ao3, has earned her clout as a GOmens fanfic heavyweight. She didn’t NEED to write an awkward and earnest Raphael trying to go incognito as Crowley into the Garden of Eden. She didn’t NEED to write about how incredibly awkward Aziraphale is while heels over halo in love. She didn’t NEED to have an engaging plot and a wonderful twist on the Temptation of Eve and also the most awkward and obvious besotted angels in the universe. But she did. And we are blessed. So go partake.)

37. Incubus!Crowley – GenericUsername01 (G, T, the series where Crowley is a sex demon and we get to see what that means. This fic threads the very specific needle I personally enjoy where sex is an element of the story and has bearing on it, but the story doesn’t have any actual sex scenes in it. I love this writer’s style and where they take Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship; I love the view of Hell in the first bit; I love all of it, really. A+++.)

38. Everyone But You – @summerofspock (M, the one where Crowley is hired to seduce an angel. M for some saucy makeouts and some post-coital afterglow but nothing explicit. If y’all like stories where a conman is hired to do a job and starts to have complicated feelings about it, especially if those feelings are falling in love with his mark, then here you go. It’s amazing as all heck and hilarious to boot; Crowley learning what falling in love is like is always a treat but omg. Poor Aziraphale. And the most DELIGHTFUL resolution, my goodness.)

39. In Mixed Company, or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell – @theoldaquarian (M, the one where Heaven and Hell have a joint corporate retreat every so often and Crowley and Aziraphale are doomed. M for some adult themes but nothing explicit. Y’all. TheOldAquarian must be stopped. They cannot continue to be so funny and engaging. They cannot continue to have the most corporate and hilariously mundane depiction of Heaven and Hell. They are a MENACE who, in the space of one fic, has packed all the pining of the ages in so tightly that when it finally bursts free, my shoulders physically relaxed and my spine uncoiled. This fic in particular is too much and too wonderful. I really must protest.)

40. Loosely Ballroom – marginalia_device, @mortifyingideal (T, the one where Aziraphale is a professional dancer and Crowley is a contestant on a show with him (for American viewers, think Dancing With the Stars). This fic is so good and so funny and so achingly in-character. I love Crowley as the washed-up old star trying to kick his career back up, I love Aziraphale as the put-upon dancer on his last legs, and I love that they’re both the victim of a studio gimmick and then decide that malicious compliance is their best bet. It’s still early in the fic (…at over 40k words wow it’s gonna be a monster and I’m ready), but it’s going to be so good already, I can just tell. There’s already some art for it floating around by naniiebimworks for the interested.)

JUST SOFT

41. Repeat the Sounding Joy – @allonsy-gabriel (G, the one where they decorate a Christmas tree. This is a short and sweet look at what the holidays are like for an angel and a demon post-apocalypse and it’s so adorable, you guys. Crowley having FEELINGS and Aziraphale being fussy about his decorating, it’s just a treat.)

42. The Nesting Habits of Angelus Principalum – @obaewankenope (NR, the one where Aziraphale nests and is gently protective. This fic is quiet and understated and so unbelievably romantic without being over the top about it; it’s a quiet coming together that creeps up on you, much like how the realization of Aziraphale’s nesting habits creeps up on Crowley. A lovely little thing.)

43. we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow – @tonyhawksmovingcastle (E, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale wind up faking a relationship on a couple’s cruise. E for Chapter 7, which is completely skippable without ruining any plot. This one gets a double whammy for both engaging plot and wonderful OCs that add to rather than distract from the story. Fake dating is fun enough but when you’re fake dating and also being wingmanned by well-meaning possibly supernatural sapphics, while also having fun in the tropics, it’s a recipe for a good time all around (at least for the audience). So lovely and sweet and that moment when Crowley and Aziraphale finally get together is magic.)

44. Road Trip Games and Love – rgfalso (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale go on a road trip together. This one almost takes place in real time, and has the most intense and emotional back-and-forth while these poor saps try to work out the Thing between them without actually talking about it for as long as inhumanly possible. Of course there are lots of road trip games, and of course those road trip games are a vehicle of conveyance for what they’re actually trying to say, and cue all the misunderstandings in the world. It’s frustrating and cathartic and amazing and the end especially is so, so sweet.)

45. The Most Stylish Wedding of AZ Fell and AJ Crowley – @leapoffaith1489 (T, the one where Aziraphale is determined to discard tartan for the wedding. Y’all. Omg. If relatively low-stakes cute wedding shenanigans are your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale being pleasantly surprised is your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale working through minor insecurities is your thing, welcome, truly, home. Featuring a lovely cast of side characters and a soft-as-butter plot.)

46. The Newlywed Game (Not What You’d Think) – @heavenslittlehellion (NR, the one where a game of drunken truth-telling goes a little farther than anticipated. Hello, welcome to the emotional gut-punch fic, you’ve arrived. The only thing that saves this from dunking into the last category on this list with the other h/c and whump fics is how low-stakes it is and how soft it is when they get past the unpleasant bit. People who love theories on what the Fall felt like, welcome to the table.)

47. On the Road to Love – Mizmak (G, the one where Crowley enters a motor rally race with the Bentley, with Aziraphale as navigator. While there’s great fun in Crowley and Aziraphale needling each other, there’s greater joy in their friendship and tenderness towards the other (and asexual bed-sharing fans, rejoice). It’s a fun concept all around and definitely worth the read.)

48. Mr. Fell’s Bookshop ficlets – @holycatsandrabbits (G, T, the series where Mr. Fell has regular customers and they love the place as much as they love its weird and eldritch owner. For folks who love seeing the Ineffable Duo through others’ eyes, this is a fun series to scratch that particular itch, and has spawned a number of spin-off fics, unless I’m mistaken. It’s a relatively low-stakes series, for people wanting something like that these days, too.)

49. Quiet Reflection – @shinyopals (T, the one where they have to duck into a church to avoid demons. If the phrase “spicy Jesus crackers” holds any appeal whatsoever, go read this fic immediately. It’s heartfelt and hilarious and really that’s all you can ask for in a good fluff fic. Also Crowley being held. Really, that’s all any of us want from life.)

50. Deck the Halls – forthegreatergood (G, the one where mistletoe should really not be this hard to get a hold of. Y’all you simply MUST stick around for the hijinks in this one. They are manifold and hilarious. Does it end in makeouts? Possibly. You’ll just have to read it, won’t you?)

51. The Secret Dress – GlitterSkullFairy (G, the one where Crowley has a secret wedding dress. This one is very dramatic and sad…and then Aziraphale pops in. Like with all things concerning these two, it immediately takes a turn from there. If putting Crowley in pretty dresses is a thing you enjoy, have a seat and enjoy the show, it’s a softy.)

52. Well…That’s New – @almaasi (G, the one where Crowley doesn’t realize he’s in love. If oblivious Crowley is more to your taste, this is the one for you. Takes the concept “what if Crowley was in love but didn’t realize it” and runs with it for all it’s worth. Hilarious and sweet and wonderful.)

53. serpent, serpent-bearer – @elsajeni (G, the one that’s about horoscopes. I realize the Soft section of the rec list is for things that are Soft but hhnnngkk you guys. This one is so cute. My heart can’t take it. They’re so gosh darned precious, with their newspaper and their horoscopes and their welcome invasion of each other’s personal space.)

54. If Only You Were Mine – @somethingscarlet13 (G, the one where Crowley gets so drunk he can’t remember who Aziraphale’s husband is, just that he’s married. This is a little sugar shot for your day, folks—short, sweet, silly, and did I mention sweet? It is so worth having a giggle at drunk Crowley’s expense, please do read it.)

55. Cupboard Love – @copperplatebeech (T, the one where Crowley is a cranky snek. I would also highly recommend this for folks who enjoy Madam Tracy, especially Madam Tracy being utterly unaffected by being face-to-face with the supernatural and cooing over things like the wonderful lady she is. Fun and a little silly and a lot adorable.)

56. affirmation, appreciation – pearlwaldorf (G, the one where Aziraphale helps someone in need a little differently than expected. This one has Aziraphale taking on the persona of an interested male party looking to pick up the spirits of a woman on the tail end of a messy divorce and Crowley understanding but still getting a little jealous. It’s so sweet and so lovely, both what Aziraphale and Crowley do for this poor woman and how Aziraphale reassures Crowley afterwards. Top notch.)

57. Forget-Me-Not – @dietraumerei (T, the one where Crowley gets amnesia. Not as dramatic as others, he just loses 200 years and it’s temporary, but it’s ever so sweet, watching Crowley fall back in love with the modern world and be gobsmacked that he and Aziraphale are finally together. There’s a lot of reassurance and tender sweet nothings thrown about and I’m pretty sure I developed a heart condition just from reading this, it’s too good.)

58. They Shake The Mountains When They Dance – @copperbadge (T, the one where Crowley finds Aziraphale’s scar. Operating on the theory that Aziraphale was injured in the War in Heaven and that’s why he clutches his leg and limps when he’s discorporated, this is the sappiest, sweetest rumination on the subject I have ever read. Crowley gets so protective and defensive, and Aziraphale is so gentle in talking him down. On the whole, it’s just wonderful and so, so cute. Omg.)

59. Familiar Care – ginger_mosaic (G, the one where the Ineffable Dads have to take their snabies in for medical help. This comes from the Wiggleverse, which on the whole I cannot strongly recommend enough, but this fic in particular centers around the most delightful OC veterinarian who handles Crowley and Aziraphale’s strange family very well. There’s also a fun twist at the end, so absolutely keep reading to find out what that is. And also, immerse yourself in adorable snake baby shenanigans, because they are the best sort.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

60. Rituals (or the Seven Layer Bean Dip Approach to Sex) – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one where no seriously metaphysical angel/demon sex is super weird. Fans of truly esoteric ethereal/occult mating rituals rejoice, for this is your new home. It’s abstract but no less beautiful for it, I think; the imagery and emotional accompaniment are all lovely, even if they don’t meet conventional human romance standards. You can really tell that it means a lot to Crowley and Aziraphale, the ways they show how much they love each other. A weird and delectable little dish, by all accounts.)

61. Under Pressure – @copperplatebeech (M, the one where Crowley steals kisses. M for sensuality and body worship but nothing too explicit; also could be construed as dubcon kissing, for those of you sensitive to that. Hhhgkk y’all. Crowley thinks he’s being sly getting away with smooching Aziraphale throughout history while they’re both drunk off their rockers but does not count on Aziraphale actually remembering, and then once the Apocalypse is done with and they’re On Their Own Side and Can Aknowledge These Things…well. They do. Crowley is a mess and Aziraphale is a mess and they love each other so much. The writing is so tender and I’m CRYING.)

62. London Calling – forthegreatergood (G, the one with slow-burn wing grooming. There’s so much crammed into this bad boy and it balances it admirably—Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale, Crowley’s relationship with Hell, Crowley thinking about retirement, Crowley getting preemptively banned from a certain European country for being a pest outside of its consulate, Crowley losing his cool over getting to touch Aziraphale’s wings. Humor, aching tenderness, the kind of longing that feels like a high, quavering violin note, tension and release. A beautiful piece.)

63. Elmie’s Ineffable Fireplace Fics – @almaasi (G, M, M, the series that is completely unrelated except for the physical and also figurative appearances of warm fireplaces. M for sensuality but nothing explicit. The first two are mainly short fluff; the third is a long Regency-esque AU with some gender and sexuality shenanigans on top of Real Danger and Intrigue. True to the writer’s promise, all three fics are pretty comfortable and warm, even if the third has some action and tension. They’re absolutely lovely, imo.)

64. The Hands Applauded (And This Was No Sin) – @ticketybye (G, the one where Crowley as a preoccupation with Aziraphale’s hands. Deals with both touch-starvation and touch-aversity in the same fic and weirdly enough it works. The fic is heartbreaking but it has a good resolution and that’s important.)

65. Moult – @sameoldsorceress (T, the one where Aziraphale molts and Crowley doesn’t. This is typical wing-grooming fare…right up until it isn’t. I won’t spoil the twist but rest assured that there is absolutely a twist. Other than that, it’s supportive and sweet and lovely and lord knows we all could use some of that right now.)

66. never get to heaven on a night like this – RestlessWanderings (G, the series where the Ineffable Wives are touch-starved and pining. The only reason this fic goes here instead of in Jaunts Through History is because especially in Crowley’s side of the story, the touch starvation is so horrifically visceral I very nearly bought myself a weighted blanket out of sympathy stress. They are both so afraid and so desperate for a bit of connection, the pining is absolutely ridiculous. And it helps that there’s worldbuilding there that’s both thematically appropriate and interesting to read. Engendered by lesbianism and catholic guilt, I believe the author said, and in this case what a delicious combination with an absolutely amazing ending.)

67. Strength in Modesty – flandersmare (T, the one where Aziraphale has a secret wardrobe. Y’all. I have a special love-hate relationship with clothes and my body and this fic somehow felt very soothing on both of those fronts. Corsetry is front and center, and it’s all very well-researched and well-presented. The story is so quiet and understated and is really told through excellent sensory details. The ending about broke my heart for tenderness. It’s a double love letter to Aziraphale and to fashion throughout history and I love it.)

BONUS

68. Tales of the Them – @lyricwritesprose (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are the Them’s godparents, too. This is such a fun series, with a lot of stories that are not just funny in bits, but also meaningful. For fans of the Them and people who like stories about children that aren’t dumbed-down or grimdark.)

69. Stans in High Places – @doomed-spectacles (G, the one where there’s someone in the Earth Observation department keeping an eye on Crowley and Aziraphale. Another take on the angel(s) in charge of Earth Observation, this time featuring a singular angel called Grigori, and boy is he a cutie. His friendship with fellow angel Pravuil is also blossoming and sweet throughout, and the amount of innocent cuteness throughout is just spectacular. What an adorable story.)

70. Anthony J Crowley, Retired Demon and AirBnB Superhost – @theoldaquarian (G, the one where Crowley turns his flat into an AirBnB. Told as if reading a comment section, it is hilarious and paints a horrid picture of what interacting with Crowley—and Aziraphale!—is like for normal humans. I can’t give you any more details than that, you are just going to have to read it and laugh your head off about it like I did.)

71. A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon – @asideofourown (T, the one where Crowley writes a book and accidentally becomes a queer icon. This is…so funny. And so sweet. And like most fics where human bystanders try to piece together what’s happening and come away with completely wrong conclusions, it’s utterly charming. You almost start rooting for the internet conspiracy theorists trying to unearth what exactly Crowley is from his (presumably) evasive or strange answers to interview questions.)

72. Hell Of An Angel – WaitingToBeBroken (T, the one where everyone thinks Crowley is a mafia family. This one is funny in a dramatic irony way; the way that every narrator in this is CONVINCED that Crowley is A. a family of redheads that all look eerily similar, and B. extremely dangerous, is entertaining all on its own. It helps that the writing is smooth and the characters are all fairly engaging, too. A fun little diversion for your day.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

73. the only one i want – @qorktrees (T, the one where Crowley needs some convincing. The hurt in this one is real, folks. But so is the comfort. At last steps are taken to assure Crowley of how much he is wanted, of how much his love is cherished and his touch desired. If you cry while reading this, congrats and welcome to the club, we are all miserable touch-starved fools here.)

74. Always One More Time – boughofawillowtree (T, the one where Aziraphale has remaining psychological scars from Heaven. This one is tough, y’all, real tough. Aziraphale has a couple of abusive flashbacks and intrusive thoughts and his anxiety flaring up is a constant, so people sensitive to that should take heed. That said, this is a very healing fic, with a lot of underlying hurt that floats to the surface. But throughout Crowley does his best to be patient and understanding and even with a disagreement, it remains gentle and loving throughout.)

75. Smote and smitten – @nohaijiachi (G, the one where Aziraphale is a badass and we are ALL here for it. Screaming Hastur, briefly-sentient flaming swords, Aziraphale being amazing, and starry-eyed Crowley are all the ingredients chosen to make a wonderful little fic, and we are all grateful for it. What a guy, that Aziraphale.)

76. Nearly Romeo and Juliet – bisexual_dumbass (T, the one where Crowley’s hiding his panic attacks. This one hurts, friends. This one has miscommunications and fear and boundary communication, all while being so tense even the gentlest touch will snap something. It’s got learning to take care of yourself and value yourself and live FOR yourself. It is very important and I hope a lot of you read it because gosh dang.)

77. Pigeon Girlfriends With A Long Preamble – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one that’s exactly what it says on the tin. This fic has it all: humor! Torture! Terrible humans! Wrathful Aziraphale! Pain and suffering! Tenderness and care! Pigeon girlfriends! The Hurt and the Comfort are present in about equal measure, but fair warning that what Crowley is made to do just before his rescue is more than a little disturbing, both to readers and especially to Crowley.)

#good omens #good omens fic recs #mega gomens fic rec list #mega fic rec list #whoof #probably take a break for a bit #then start work on six and seven's reviews #and maybe start on compiling eight #why do y'all write so much fic #why is it all so good

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flameraven · 5 years ago

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Good Omens Fic Rec Masterpost - Part Two

Hello hello I have read MANY MORE fics in this fandom now so it’s time to add on to my previous recs. Part One can be found here: https://flameraven.tumblr.com/post/187742832545/good-omens-fic-recs-masterpost General info! No fics rated higher than M, and that’s usually for violence not sex. I headcanon the husbands as being in an asexual relationship, so any fics I rec will have no sex, or only have sexy stuff alluded to or briefly mentioned.

The Soft Zone (TM)

all the days - G / darcylindbergh

War of Attrition- G / out_there / 8k - 3 gifts Crowley gives Aziraphale

A Meddling of Houseplants - T/ wingedspirit / 6k - Ophelia (a peace lily) is tired of Crowley and Aziraphale’s hopeless pining, and takes matters into her own leaves.

Sweetest in the Gale - T / wingedspirit / 3.8k - Gabriel can sense Aziraphale’s love for Crowley, and confronts “Aziraphale” about it before his execution

Deck the Halls - G / forthegreatergood / 18k - two idiots attempt to acquire mistletoe for the holidays in order to convey their feelings for the other.

Tartan Wrapping Paper - G / Arej / 2k - Crowley may not have quite gotten the message about the tartan all those years ago

a prize-winning philodendron - G / Elsajeni / <1k - Crowley does look, and sighs heavily. “Angel,” he says, “of all the plants you could have tried keeping, why did you start with something this fussy?”

Silver and Gold - G / asparkofgoodness / 1.5k - Crowley buys a ring.

Futile Devices - G / ticketybye / 3k - Yes, Crowley has imagined. He has craved. But being in Aziraphale’s close proximity has had to be enough. He’s not even sure he deserves that. But this, this feels like it felt to be commissioned the stars. It feels like being entrusted with something precious and fragile.

The Weight of Words Unspoken - G / rattatatosk / 1.8k - Aziraphale has always hinted to Crowley when he needed to leave. After the Apoca-wasn’t, he asks Crowley to stay.

J’Aime (I Love) - G / yourpaceangel - Crowley is searching for what the ‘J’ means.

the other way round - G / darcylindbergh / <1k - Aziraphale gets hair pets for once.

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too) - G / soft_october / 1.5k - Crowley is trying not to go to fast, ends up stalled out completely. Aziraphale decides he will have to get creative.

In Good Hands - G / Sunjinjo / 14k - Aziraphale was created wearing a golden ring. It’s now the last remaining aspect of his original attire.One day, he tries to take it off. The rest follows naturally. (Marriage Proposal)

One Golden Glance (Of What Should Be) - G / Sunjinjo / 8.5k - Crowley takes up painting after the Apocalypse.

Misfit / Safe Haven - G / Mothfluff / 2k - Aziraphale provides a safe space for the Soho queer community to gather

seasons, changes - G / the_pen_is_mightier / 2k - In the autumn Aziraphale and Crowley go out apple picking.

on the necessity of a temptation - M / darcylindbergh / 4.5k - Crowley squinted at him. He said, slowly, as if sounding around the words [...] “But doing things is what we do. Why would—what would be the point of me being here otherwise?”

In Other Words, Baby, Kiss Me - T / mikkimouse / 4.5k - Five times Aziraphale kissed Crowley and one time Crowley (finally) kissed him back.

It's Getting Hard, This Holding Back - T / ZehWulf / 13k - Crowley decides to lure Aziraphale into Explicit Gestures of Romantic Affection. Aziraphale sets a cuddle trap

give you more to hold on to - T / cryptidkidprem / 4k - Crowley nods. "It's..." He looks down at their joined hands, and takes a long, deep breath. “We’re not— We’re not supposed to need this, y’know?” He lifts their joined hands up, lets them fall again. “You and I. Angels, demons. We're not meant to need all this. This touchy-feely stuff, all this affection, this—” a hitch in his breath— “Love.”

two parallel lines -lineffability

don’t let me wake up - acuteangleaziraphale

how to let go - jlmarch

Mornington Crescent -politeanarcy

Wingfic

Symmetry in Favor - G / kedreeva / 8k - Five times Crowley preens Aziraphale's wings, and one time Aziraphale preens Crowley's.

London Calling - G / forthegreatergood / 30k - Come for Crowley’s ridiculous 1970′s bed, stay for Feelings and extensive wing pets.

Hurt/Comfort

Be Ye Therefore Merciful - T / AmberDiceless / 9.5k - Book!Verse. Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted.

Pigeon Girlfriends with a Long Preamble - T / SleepySelfLoathing / 8k - All Crowley wanted was to spend a nice night in with his husband, so of course he ends up summoned by a bunch of cultists instead. Why would he expect anything different....This would probably be a lot easier to deal with if he wasn't wearing Aziraphale's fluffiest bathrobe.

All Creatures that Have the Breath of Life - G / Elsajeni / 4k - Aziraphale fishes a very sodden Crawly out of the water during the Flood.

Touched by an Angel (And it Bloody Hurts) - G /hedgehog-o-brien / 7k - Aziraphale can’t touch Crowley without burning him.

Douse the Fire, Help Me Breathe - G / Arej / 1.5k - Even demons fear fire, when they've watched their world burn.

In a City Under Aerial Bombardment - G / battle_cat / 3k - After the church and the bomb and the books.

Small Mercies - G / rattatatosk / 4k - Crawly gets smited. Aziraphale lends a hand.

Easier Than Air - G / A_Candle_For_Sherlock / 3.5k - The world hasn't ended, and everything is fine. They're fine. It's terrifying.

attachment - T / artenon / 4.5k - Crowley crosses over to open the passenger door for Aziraphale, and Aziraphale’s attention is drawn to Crowley’s uneven gait, the light, too-quick steps and the rocking back and forth on his heels as he holds the door open and waits for Aziraphale to get in.“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale says, heart sinking, “your feet.”

Hell Freezes Over - M / charliebrown1234 + Turcote / 18k - The year is 2002, and Crowley and Aziraphale are sent to Alaska to investigate a decommissioned entrance to Hell. What could possibly go wrong?

Better The Demon You Know - T / mikkimouse / 1.2k - When Crawly falls out of the sky and into the flood, he gets help from a very unexpected source.

Gently, gently - G / the_pen_is_mightier / 3k - Heaven is cold and lonely. Hell is filthy and crowded. Aziraphale badly needs to be touched; Crowley needs fresh air, and light, and space. They can’t seem to connect on days after they’ve returned from their respective head offices.

Of Firsts and Foremosts - T / kedreeva / 6k - Aziraphale is left vulnerable and injured as his first molt approaches. Crawly comes to the rescue for the first time.

The Brazen Serpent - T / ImprobableDreams900 / 11k - Some other angels come to help Aziraphale at the end of the Isrealites’ 40-year exile in the wilderness, unfortunately for Crawley.

hold my hand tight (we'll make it another night) - G / cryptidkidprem / 3k - The night at Crowley’s flat. He’s having a hard time not panicking.

Harbours of My Own - T / wingedspirit / 30k - Crowley knows that, as a demon, his freedom is limited. He doesn't get to have a home; he doesn't get to love. Aziraphale would very much like to change that, but he, too, is limited in what he can do. It takes the better part of six thousand years, but they'll get there.

crack me open, feel me shatter - T / rattatatosk / 2.5k - Crowley dreams of the Fall. Aziraphale is there to catch him when he wakes.

Angst (w/a Happy Ending)

Where His Angel Dares to Tread - M / PinkPenguinParade / 16k - Crowley is taken by Hell. Aziraphale disguises himself as best he can for the rescue mission. Newt and Anathema help.

Remembrance of Things Past - T / Fyre / 18k - Hell takes Crowley’s memories all the way back to Eden as punishment for his crimes.

Drunk Theology - G / battle_cat / 3k - Aziraphale had been hoping tonight for Giggly Drunk Crowley, which was his favorite drunk Crowley. That didn’t seem to be how things were working out, though.

Like a River Flows - T / kedreeva / 15k - Five times Crowley was not allowed to love Aziraphale, and one time he succeeded.

The Cultivation of New Growth - T / Vitreous_humor / 3k - “I mean,” he said carefully, “if you want a plant, let me give you one of the snake plants or maybe the big coleus. They'd be good for the shop, pretty stalwart in the dark...You don't want this one, it's rotten.” “Actually,” Aziraphale said firmly, “I do want that one.”

The Holy Essence of Experience - T / Dragonsquill / 4k - They know how they feel, but giving it a name would be too dangerous. Ineffable husbands from the beginning to the end of the world, aware and wanting.

AUs/Crossovers

be mine tonight (be mine forever) - T / artenon / 11k - Human!AU. When Aziraphale finds out his coworkers have made a bet that he won’t bring anyone to the company party, he asks his best friend Crowley to go as his date just to spite them. Things quickly spiral out of control.

Siren’s Song - T / kedreeva / 30k+ (WIP) - Siren!AU. Crowley, a lone siren, calls a ship to wreck upon his reef, but finds when he meets pirate captain Aziraphale that sirens are not the only ones able to lure another creature to their heart's desire.

Adopt Don’t Shop - G / lucky_spike / 6k - Cat!AU based on Chekov’s “Good Meowmons” comics.

The Ones Who Walk Away From Nevaeh - T / soft_october / 15k - AU based on “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”

The Grinch Who Sold Christmas - T / darcylindbergh / 60k - Human AU / Hallmark Movie AU. Crowley is a big city lawyer sent to seal the deal that will destroy the quaint town of Tadfield forever, right before Christmas... and then he falls in love with the town, and a certain bookshop owner. Ridiculously sappy fluff that hits all the right notes.

The Odd One Out T / RainyDayDecaf / 2k- A meeting of many different Crowleys and Aziraphales.

Beat Again - T / TeaCub90 / 7k - Human AU. Two neighbours keep each other and their respective conditions company in the dead of night

Outsider POV

Ophidiophobia - G / lyricwritesprose / 7.6k - Pepper is afraid of snakes. When this is abruptly revealed in an encounter with Crowley’s serpent form, she immediately goes about trying to cure herself of it.

What’s in a Name? - G / lyricwritesprose / 4k - “You do realize,” Brother Francis said, “that Warlock is just your name, not some sort of, of directive?”

Damaged - G / lyricwritesprose / 6k - Aziraphale is struggling after the Apocalypse. Madam Tracy offers some advice. (Very good spooky/nonhuman Aziraphale in this one.)

Angel’s Favor - T/ PinkPenguinParade / 10k - A hundred years ago, Aziraphale gave one of his feathers to a woman who helped him. In the modern day, her descendant calls in the favor.

Protective Camouflage - G/ politeanarcy/ 2.3k - The Antichrist isn’t the only one with defenses against being noticed.

Disposable - T / lyricwritesprose / 7k - Eric the Disposable Demon attempts to become Crowley’s vassal after the Apoca-wasn’t. Nothing goes the way they expect after that.

on deceiving appearances - G / asideofourown / 2k - The Disposable Demon realizes the truth of Crowley’s deception in Heaven.

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost - G / TheOldAquarian / 3k - What are you supposed to do when you've been fired from your sweet job in Hell for thwarting the schemes of Satan, you've got a swanky flat in Mayfair, and you're looking for an excuse to spend all your time in someone else's bookshop? Obviously, you turn to the dubious world of short-term vacation rentals.

Other

the best laid schemes - T / asideofourown / 4k - How Crowley got his Rat Army

Incongruous States of Being - T / ZehWulf / 8k - “Who would win: Aziraphale or Crowley.” “Oh!” Aziraphale startles. “Well—such a question. It’s not as though either of us has engaged in so much as fisticuffs in ages, and one does need to keep up practice with these sorts of things.” His fretting dies abruptly when Crowley cuts over him clearly, baldly: “Aziraphale.”

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition - T / WoodsWitch / 12k - The Arrangement is 500 years old, and Crowley and Aziraphale have been having a fine time in Renaissance Florence. Things start to go a bit pear-shaped with the arrival of a Friar Savonarola, so Crowley suggests that they meet up in his favorite refuge from the rest of medieval Europe: Spain. ((Don’t let the title fool you, this is an incredibly in-depth and well-researched historical fic and deserves way more hits than it has.))

#fic recs #good omens fanfic #good omens fic recs #fanfiction

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kikiscauldron · 5 years ago

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November is a time of reflection and relaxation, as it heralds in “blank slate” weekends, restful time alone, and the joyous return to honoring life inside the home. For many, October is so much fun there is barely space for peace and quiet. But now that the wild action of October is over, and you can pause to savor the crisp air and quietness of the November sky, I suggest you ponder the opportunistic question of “now what?”

The weather is colder and the atmosphere is darker in November – while the view from your bedroom window can be romantic and beautiful, the feeling outside is cold, damp, and sometimes gloomy. Just this morning we experienced our first freezing fog this season. It is this kind of weather that makes us crave coziness, warmth, and comfort. November allows you the opportunity to lean into the temptation to relax, recuperate, and maintain your health and spiritual wellness.

A List of Chill Magic and Practical Rituals for November November can be a time when you can create a sacred space inside your home. While indoors, it is a great time to take up hobbies and activities that allow you the opportunity to spend time with the most important person in your life: yourself. Contemplate what aspects of yourself you have been neglecting and use the downtime of the indoor months accordingly. My hope is that this list below honors the magic of being chill and the comforting energy of November.

🧼 Fall Cleaning: For me an organized house is a creative house. I don’t know if this is something that everyone feels, but I function better in an orderly environment. If you are like me use the first couple of weeks in November to clean and clear your home of clutter. Consider donating clothes, books, and food.

🌿 Bring in the Green: Try bringing some green into your home to liven the indoors. Herbs that do well indoors are basil, bay, chives, cilantro, lemongrass, mint, oregano, parsley, rosemary, sage, and thyme. If you need some easy plants to work with try aloe, calathea, Christmas cactus, English ivy, jade, peperomia, philodendron, snake plant, and spider plant.

🕯 Warm Lighting: Try the warm and soothing glow Himalayan rock salt lamps and candle holders.

🔥 Purifying Incense: Burn a blend of frankincense, rosemary, and sage to purify your home. Allow the smoke to escape the home through cracked windows.

🧿 Protection Spell Bottle: Put together a spell bottle to create a protective boundary around your home. Some suggested items to add to a protection spell bottle include rosemary, rose thorns, needles, nails, dimes, vinegar, garlic, obsidian, black salt, sea salt, tourmaline, black pepper, hyssop, rue, and dragon’s blood. Seal it with black wax and bury it in the front yard of your property.

❤️ Blessed and Loving Home Simmering Potpourri: This is an inviting simmering potpourri to bless a home with loving energies. Slice an apple and place in a saucepan. Add four cups of water. Add in a couple cinnamon sticks, three star anise seed pods, a teaspoon of vanilla extract, a teaspoon of cloves, and a small piece of ginger root. Bring the water to a boil, then reduce the heat to a low simmer. Allow the mixture to slowly cook and spread it’s inviting and loving fragrance through your home. Stir clockwise occasionally, and replacing more water if necessary.

🛁 Relaxing Aromatherapy Oils: Use a relaxing oil blend in an oil diffuser to create a calming space. Essential oils that can help calm moods include lavender, sandalwood, frankincense, bergamot, ylang ylang, vanilla, patchouli, Roman chamomile, clary sage, and marjoram.

💰Prosperity Spell for Holiday Funds: For this spell you will work with the Hindu goddess Lakshmi. Find a glass jar or container and adhere a picture of Lakshmi on it. In the bottom of the container place a piece of green jade, aventurine, or other crystal associated with money. The first money to place in the jar should be four new quarters, which you can anoint with patchouli or money-attracting oil. Place money into the jar each day, no matter how large or small the amount is. When it is time to empty the jar and access the holiday funds, be sure to put aside a small amount of the wealth you’ve attracted to donate to charity.

🧶 Blanket Magic: Here’s a sweet little enchantment for the throw blankets in your house. Hold a blanket and visualize it being imbued with pink and gold light. Say to yourself the following incantation: “Wrapped in love, this blanket glows, with care and healing for those it holds.”

💆‍♀️ Homeopathic Remedies: We are blessed to live in a time where we can both take care of ourselves with modern medicine like flu shots and antibiotics, but we can also keep homeopathic remedies in stock to support our daily health routines. Try and create Fire Cider or Elderberry Syrup – they are said to help the body fend off colds.

💧 Basil Rinse: Boil a pot of water and stir in a handful of basil and a couple bags of chamomile tea. Use this as a cleaning rinse to welcome in prosperous and loving energies.

🔮 Divination: November is a fantastic month to work through divination. Treat yourself to a new tarot deck, practice a new tarot spread, or try a form of divination that you’ve always been curious about.

November Correspondences

Astronomical Dates for 2019: Taurid Meteor Shower (11/5-6), Beaver Full Moon (11/12), Leonids Meteor Shower (11/17-18), New Moon (11/26)

Crystals: Amber, Citrine, Obsidian, Onyx, Tiger’s Eye, Topaz

Food in Season: Apples, beets, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, cranberries, horseradish, leeks, mushrooms, parsnips, persimmons, pomegranates, potatoes, pumpkin, turnip, winter squash

Herbs, Plants, and Incense: Blackthorn, Cedarwood, Cypress, Dragon’s Blood, Elder, Mugwort, Nutmeg, Pine, Rosemary, Star Anise, Thyme, Wormwood, Yew

Magical Work: Beginnings, Divination and Spirit Communication, Prosperity, Release, Removal of Obstacles, Transformation

Meditation Work and Reflective Topics: Charity, Comfort, Gratitude, Self-Love

The Magic of Samhain Isn’t Gone (Where to Look Next)

While many will celebrate Samhain through October 31st and November 1st, there are those who chose to observe Samhain at the exact midpoint between the Autumnal Equinox and the Winter Solstice. For 2019 that happens to land on November 7th. So, if you are enjoying the work with ancestors, divination, spirit communication, and banishment magic, don’t let it disappear now that it’s November. And, just because Samhain has passed doesn’t mean that the energy and magic of Samhain will instantaneously drop off. If you are new to witchcraft I recommend reading The Door to Witchcraft by Tonya Brown to help you continue your interest and magical pursuits. If you are fascinated by the idea of a Veil marking a boundary between our world and the Otherworld, I recommend visiting John Beckett’s blog Under the Ancient Oaks where he frequently discusses his impression of the Veil in modern times. And, hopefully the list above gave you some inspiration for November as well. The dark side of the year is an excellent time to go inwards and do deep, reflective, and personal magical work. The magic of pause and rest can be very powerful.

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plantanarchy · 6 years ago

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On Flora

good omens fic, crowley & aziraphale, 1.2k, mostly meta

summary - a stroll through one botanical garden or another. aziraphale doesn’t trust a single one of the leafy bastards. that’s it. that’s the fic.

(sorry to anyone on mobile who the cut does not work for!! didn’t have anywhere better to dump this)

“Geraniums,” Crowley says with a soft g, a drawn out 'awww' and a disdainful snarl. “Whoever authorized those ones should feel very bad about themselves. They're like tottering old men who can't find the restroom. They're like the plant equivalent of a beige knit jumper.”

“It's Ger-ain-iums, my dear,” Aziraphale says. “And I think they're quite lovely for a plant. Very sensible.”

“Guhr-awww-niums,” the demon says with exaggerated aplomb. “Of course you like them, you love beige knit jumpers and tottering old men.”

“I'll show you tottering old men.”

“Angel, you are one.”

“Anyway, I am certain it's pronounced Jer-ain-iums. In this part of the world at least. Though there really are far too many names for the lot of them.”

Aziraphale gestures widely at the multitude of plants that surround them. They're in one botanical garden or another on a fine, sunny morning. Botanic gardens in no way come close to The Garden, but it's amusing to see the small ways human being have attempted to claw their way back there one carefully crafted display of blooms and foliage at a time. The angel prefers to keep a fair distance between himself and the botanical kingdom, but Crowley's barely-disguised affection for plants has led them on frequent trips and visits to the various gardens and collections of the world.

Aziraphale has always found it charming that, despite initial instructions containing no stipulation about naming the plants as well as the animals, the humans had gone and done it anyway and with vigorous enthusiasm.

Most animals were given only their respective names in each of the many languages of the world, but plants were bestowed with proper names and common names and folk names and alternate, updated scientific names until some had dozens each and a new one every decade or so.

Aziraphale doesn't blame the humans for their superfluous and erratic naming practices. Plants are wily, devious, and endlessly hard to pin down, even for angelic beings such as himself.

Though plants are distinct and sentient entities, their initial purpose in the grand scheme of creation, as far as anyone could tell, appeared to be Scenery. Part of the backdrop same as the sky and the stars and the mountains, so that the birds and the beasts and the humans didn't have to enact their roles in the great and ineffable divine plan in a flat, blank plane of nothing.

After the Fall, they took on a different role, but the nature of that role exactly is still not quite clear. Both sides claim many plants as angelic or demonic agents, with some even pointing out that the humans had apparently cultivated many agents of their own. But very few from Heaven or Hell have had much success in maintaining communication with plants in any meaningful way so as to ascertain what they are plotting.

And they must be plotting something, Aziraphale thinks.

After all, there is still some debate about whether the Forbidden Fruit was the Almighty's idea or whether the tree itself came up with it unbidden. Or perhaps was tempted into it along with the first humans. (There is an ongoing, unrelated debate about the exact variety of tree itself, since no one had yet thought to name it.)

Crowley, for his part, has gone to greater lengths than many when it comes to fraternizing with plants, but he has never been as wary of the chlorophytic creatures as Aziraphale is and so never seemed to ask the right questions. Granted, the domesticated versions Crowley tends in his little flat are eons removed from their wild cousins.

You may have as much luck asking a toddler about particle physics as trying to discuss the Amazon rainforest with a Philodendron living in a London flat. Let alone a discussion about their role in the greater scheme of things. When Aziraphale had last tried, the viney creature simply shivered in confused silence for a beat before asking please sir may I have some more of the nitrogen water, maybe a touch of phosphorous, a sprinkle of magnesium, thank you, sir, much obliged.

Crowley was not behind the concept of houseplants as a whole so much as he was responsible for the continued popularity of many of them.

“Snake Plants,” he says in the botanic garden, pointing out a plant that grows in a cluster of spear-shaped leaves. Or pointy, serpent-tongue shaped leaves, if you may. “Now those are reliable, upstanding plants that can still have a bit of fun.”

“I don't trust them,” Aziraphale says. “You could have a fake one right alongside and be hard-pressed to tell the difference.”

“Devil's Ivy,” Crowley says, gesturing to a Pothos climbing its way up a scraggly palm tree. “Never have to worry about that one causing a fuss. Never a leaf out of place.”

“Angel's Trumpet.” Aziraphale beams as they come upon a tree with drooping flowers. “Now have you ever seen or smelled anything more heavenly?”

“One of ours actually. Highly hallucinogenic. Prime temptation material.”

“Ah,” says the angel.

“Though Devil's Trumpet is a bit of a toss-up surprisingly,” Crowley says. An upturned, white flower glows on a sprawling shrub. “You know, on account of the witches.”

“Right,” Aziraphale says. “Witches.” Most human witches he trusts about as much as plants, mostly on account of their ilk certainly having been in cahoots with the most untrustworthy of herbs and towering trees and various devious flora for centuries.

They step through a scalloped archway into an outdoor section of the garden, where verdant green grass stretches for hundreds of yards away from them, broken up occasionally by curly-cue swirls of beds teeming with annual flowers.

Turf grass, Aziraphale is fairly confident, is on a similar unholy tier as some of the most diabolical of demonic entities.

“Lawns,” Crowley says, drawling the word with disgust.

“Certainly your side's doing.”

“No one's claimed responsibility,” the demon says. “You'd think something as truly evil as uninterrupted turf grass would earn big whopping promotions Down Below but nada. Zilch. Mum's the word.”

“Crysanthemums,” Aziraphale says. “I do like those somewhat.”

“Dreadful. Absolutely abominable. Preposterously untenable in every way.”

“Tell us how you really feel, my dear.”

“Have you ever looked up close at a Crysanthemum? Really looked?”

“I don't believe I would ever dare.”

“Exactly.”

The pair wander the rest of elaborate gardens, elbows brushing at times, footsteps in sync. After a time, they stop beneath an ancient apple tree, its twisted boughs just beginning to be weighed down by growing fruit.

“Do you think it remembers?” Aziraphale asks. “Same as we do?”

“That's assuming it's even the right tree. Some say, you know, pomegranate.”

“Doesn't have quite the same cadence to it.”

“No,” says Crowley, and he stares in contemplative silence up at the gnarled tree, dappled sunlight flickering across his pointed face.

The mysterious presence of the tree looms before them, feeling as ominous and unknowable as it always has, even in that first Garden as the plants spread their first fronds, drank deep with searching roots from the first springs, and swept the first glimmers of sunlight up with their fresh pigment.

Seemed an awful lot of effort to waste on simple Scenery. Seemed an awful lot of weight to put on one, simple tree at the center of a Garden. Perhaps their true nature would remain always another of the Almighty's mysteries, never to be fully grasped.

“Absolute bastards, all of them,” Crowley says with distinct fondness in his voice, and Aziraphale, for once, can't help but share the sentiment.

#long post #good omens #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #except this is mostly gen #if these two can ever really be gen #i'm fanfiction on main now i guess oh well #anyway i'm somehow both aziraphale and crowley in this it's great #and if i had my way this would be 800 times longer #it's relevant to this blog at least

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xoxoemynn · 6 years ago

Text

goodnight sweet prince (and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest)

You like emotional hurt/comfort? I’m giving you emotional hurt/comfort. Featuring emo angst king Crowley, gentle protective Aziraphale, and an author who loves to roast her favorite disaster demon. Many thanks to @lizardkingeliot for the encouragement and assistance. Also on AO3.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land…

* * *

It was not a faraway land. It was a very right here land, the same right here land that Crowley had lived in for the last several centuries. And he knew every bloody of inch of it. The thirty-four steps it took to cross from the front door to his desk. How the light streamed in from his office windows at each hour of the day. That one irritating spot on the floor where Ligur had dissolved and that Crowley couldn’t magic away, no matter how hard he tried.

With an irritated hiss, Crowley slammed his bottle of whiskey down on his desk. It knocked over the small philodendron he’d purchased that morning in a half-hearted attempt to bring about some peace and normalcy to his routine. The ceramic pot it was in shattered upon impact; Crowley deliberately bore down on the terracotta shards as he crossed the room to the toilet, gaining a modicum of satisfaction at the crunch beneath his snakeskin boot.

* * *

There lived a… well, let’s call him a young prince. Yes, a handsome young prince.

* * *

Crowley turned the faucet on full blast and splashed the ice cold water on his face. He hadn’t truly expected it would help, and it most certainly did not. But it did twist his hair into soggy ringlets that fell across his face like half-dead snakes making one last feeble attempt at vitality.

He rubbed his face with the back of his hand. He looked old. Not six thousand years old. Human old. Like what a six thousand year old human would look like.

With slightly better hair.

Snake corpses notwithstanding.

* * *

And he lived all alone, in his own private kingdom. Far away from prying eyes. He liked it that way. He felt safe. Comfortable. He could be himself, without yielding to the expectations of others.

* * *

It was too quiet. That was obviously the problem. How was he supposed to sleep when it was silent as a tomb in here?

He flipped on the telly.

“Is it the end of the world as we know it?”

“I should bloody well say not,” Crowley muttered, and waved his hand to change the channel.

“SO YOU THINK YOU CAN STONE ME AND SPIT IN MY EYEEEEEE.”

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” With another hand wave, this one with far more snap to the wrist, Crowley flicked the telly off and sprawled across his chair.

It was pathetic, really. There was no need for… this. For any of this.

He didn’t need anyone. He was fine. He just needed to get out of his head for a minute, and all would be well.

“Crowley? Are you there?”

* * *

This prince did not let anybody into his palace.

* * *

Crowley threw his hand in the air.

* * *

Not willingly, anyway.

* * *

“Come in,” Crowley said, as the door swung open.

* * *

Except for one. Another prince, from another kingdom, even farther away. A rival kingdom, of sorts. Well, they really shouldn’t have been rivals, but that’s a story for another night.

* * *

Aziraphale entered the room, and it became a little easier to breathe.

Crowley tried not to notice.

“My dear, you haven’t answered your phone in three days,” Aziraphale said. “I was worried.”

“I’ve been very busy,” Crowley said. “Temptations and whatnot. Sin. Schemes. Murder.”

“Hmm, yes, I can see that.” Aziraphale crouched down over the fallen plant and with an elaborate flick of his fingers, it was back in its pot. He set it gently down on Crowley’s desk and gave one of its leaves a friendly pat. “Very menacing."

* * *

My point is, they were friends.

* * *

They were silent for an uncomfortably long moment. Crowley could feel a muscle twitch in his brow. He wondered if it would be too obvious if he suddenly miracled up a grandfather clock to sit in the corner, so at least the steady tick tock would fill this utter void of noise.

He decided against it. Grandfather clocks did not suit the aesthetic.

They’d never been like this. Not even once. From the very beginning, when Crowley had been Crawly, when he was just a snake in the desert slithering up to an angel he felt drawn to in a way he couldn’t quite explain… they’d always had something to say to each other.

Crowley ignored the irritating voice in his head pointing out it was because he didn’t want to talk right now so much as use another one of his earthly senses.

“Crowley, are you… are you certain you’re all right?”

* * *

More than friends, if they were being truthful.

* * *

“Never better,” Crowley lied. “We thwarted the apocalypse, after all. No more annoying paperwork. Wahoo.”

Aziraphale nodded slowly. “That we did. But, Crowley… have you gotten any rest?”

Crowley swung his legs over the arm of the chair and stood up. “I don’t need rest. I’m still a bloody demon. I’ve gone nearly a century without so much as a snooze before.”

Aziraphale frowned. “Yes, but you also once slept for nearly a century because I--”

Crowley arched an eyebrow.

“Never mind,” Aziraphale said quickly. “But the point is, you held your burning Bentley together by the sheer power of your mind all the way to Tadfield. That had to deplete your energy source to dangerously low levels. I'm amazed you haven't spontaneously discorporated yet.”

Crowley shrugged. “Never better, angel.”

Aziraphale stared at him, and Crowley fought the urge to shrink back. He was suddenly very aware he hadn’t put on his sunglasses before allowing Aziraphale in, and he felt horrifically exposed. It didn’t help matters that Aziraphale was so still. Crowley was used to him bouncing around, revealing the barest flicker of an emotion with the subtlety of a foghorn. But the way he looked at Crowley now…

It was one of the few times in six thousand years Crowley had been deeply reminded of Aziraphale’s power.

And how effortlessly he could utterly crush him.

* * *

But they could never share how they truly felt about each other. Because if their kingdoms found out… they would make sure the princes did not survive.

* * *

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Aziraphale said. “What is it?”

“Oh, suddenly we’re telling each other everything?” Crowley snapped, not meaning it at all but willing to use all the weapons in his arsenal. “You think because you inhabited my body for a few hours you have the right to know all that’s going on inside my mind?”

“Of course not. It’s only… you don’t look like yourself, my dear. I want to help.”

Crowley shook his head. “There’s nothing to be done, angel.”

* * *

It was far too dangerous.

* * *

“We’re safe now, Crowley,” Aziraphale said. “You said so yourself. They’ll leave us alone for a while. I’d say we have at least a few centuries. Why not get some rest?”

Crowley bit the insides of his cheeks. How was he supposed to convey that it was no longer the forces of Heaven or Hell that concerned him, but rather the forces of his own heart?

How was he supposed to share that, when the threat of Armageddon was upon them, he wasn’t roaring at the chance for battle like a good little demon, or attempting to thwart it like a traitorous but still more-or-less low-grade evil-causing demon, but rather reeling from the raw emptiness of the thought of never seeing Aziraphale again?

Entirely human emotions, compounded by thousands upon thousands of years together. That was a phenomenon that wasn’t meant to exist.

Angels and demons view humans on earth as parts of a whole, a collection of chess pieces to be captured one by one, until enough are amassed so victory can be proclaimed.

In a way, Crowley was the same. He’d spent six millennia on earth, soaking up the best and worst of humanity. Only it wasn’t victory he sought; it was completion. And among the madness and messiness of earth, he’d found an environment that felt more like a home to him than Heaven or Hell ever had.

But it was only Aziraphale who filled up the whole of him.

* * *

It wasn’t just that the princes wanted to save their own skins. They couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to the other.

* * *

“Exactly,” Crowley said. “We’re safe now. No one’s going to come for either of us.”

His voice caught oddly in his throat on the last word. He tried to disguise it with a cough, but given how demons generally don’t need to cough, especially not in a room that is set to be the optimal temperature at all times and contains no possible irritants, other than the ones in Crowley’s mind causing him to have this heaven-forsaken conversation, he knew Aziraphale saw right through it. But it did afford him a modicum of dignity.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said slowly, “are you --”

* * *

And so they hid.

* * *

“If you say afraid, I’ll have this entire building blasting the be-boppiest of be-bop in two seconds,” Crowley said. Grabbing his plant mister, he stalked out of the room.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Aziraphale said, following him.

Crowley froze. Did he…

“I daresay I’ve never met anyone else as brave as you, my dear boy.”

“Ngk,” Crowley said, and began to wreak watery havoc on his plants.

“I only think if perhaps you got a bit of rest, you might --”

* * *

The first prince tried to run. Over and over. But there was no place to go.

* * *

“I can’t rest, Aziraphale,” Crowley snapped. “I can’t rest because when I close my eyes, I see your bloody bookshop on fire. And if I’m lucky, I don’t find you, and I get to imagine how you may have simply discorporated and while I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, you’re probably fine, just being tortured by some, well, it could be angels, it could be demons, or, oh, I know! It could be both! Sure, why not both?”

It was abnormally quiet again, so bloody still, that Crowley was acutely aware of his great, gaping breaths, of how his words were growing faster as his voice was growing louder, but the dam had burst, and there was no stopping it.

“But that’s the better version, because at least then I know what I’m up against, and I could still have a shot, maybe. Because then there are other times, other times, where I’m lucky enough to come across your body! Because you see, you see, Aziraphale?” He laughed, the type of laugh he expected most humans would expect to hear come from a demon’s lips, unhinged and entirely humorless. “They made you mortal. Isn’t that hilarious? So whoosh! Whole bloody shop goes up in flames, and you get taken along with it. Forever.”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said softly.

“But then there are other times when there’s no fire,” Crowley said. “And you’d think, you’d think that would mean I might finally get some rest. But of course not! Because then I see you, and you’re right there, but you’re not really there. You’re like a ghost. And I want to… I want to touch you, to make sure you’re really there, but I can’t, I can’t.

“And I’m so tired, Aziraphale, I’m so… empty, I know if I lie down it’ll be for a thousand years, a thousand years of that, and nothing will wake me, and I can’t. I can’t.”

* * *

The second prince tried to play by the rules. He thought he could get his kingdom to see there could be peace. He hid in his loyalties and his faith. But it turns out his loyalty had been to a ghost. A ghost of a hope. And when it vanished he had nothing left. Nothing, except for his prince.

* * *

“Oh, my dear, my… Crowley.”

Crowley leaned over the table, his arms taut, his chest heaving. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his friend.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. I hadn’t realized…” He sighed. “I didn’t even know we were capable of nightmares.”

It was absurd, it was so completely fucking absurd, that Crowley barked out a harsh laugh. “Just a fun side effect of going native, eh? Isn’t humanity grand?”

Aziraphale said nothing, but Crowley could hear him moving closer. An odd ringing sound reverberated in his ears. Oh, for God’s sake, he couldn’t believe he’d actually done that, that he had said all those humiliating things out loud. He clutched the edges of the table until his knuckles turned white, wondering if there was any possible way he could back out of this.

* * *

But it was too late. The kingdoms discovered the princes’ secret.

* * *

“Crowley. Crowley, I’m here.”

“I know you’re here, you’ve been talking at me for twenty bloody minutes.”

“No,” Aziraphale said.

Crowley heard him move closer.

And then…

There was a hand on his.

* * *

Of course, their sides were both furious. All of the princes’ nightmares seemed to be coming true, in the most terrifying of fashions. And then the thing they feared the most came to pass: they were separated.

* * *

“I’m here,” Aziraphale repeated. “And you can… touch or feel or… whatever you may like.”

Crowley stared down at Aziraphale’s hand. It was barely touching his own; in fact, upon Crowley’s close inspection, he had reason to believe it was actually only hovering overtop of his fingers.

And yet Crowley was suddenly strongly reminded of creating all the stars of the universe, of how when he’d delightedly blend together those clouds of gas with that indomitable force of gravity, how the gas so desperately wanted to dissipate like smoke in the wind, but the gravity would force it together, crunching down, pulling more and more of that helpless gas cloud in, growing denser and denser, hotter and hotter, until, at last, a single perfect glittering star was born.

That’s what touching Aziraphale felt like.

It was terrifying in its power.

And it was exquisite.

* * *

But the princes were determined, and they were brave. There was simply too much at stake. So they fought back.

* * *

Crowley drew a deep breath, closed his eyes, and turned his hand over and laced his fingers with Aziraphale’s.

“Are you sure?” he asked, still not looking away from their hands.

“Of course,” Aziraphale said without hesitation. “I would never offer if I didn’t mean it.”

Nodding, Crowley reluctantly released Aziraphale’s hand so he could turn to face his friend.

There he was. Aziraphale. The same cloud of white blond hair, the same kind blue eyes framed by deep laugh lines. Clad in his usual tan and tartan, looking every bit the proper gentleman. There was no one who knew Crowley better.

It was so utterly familiar.

* * *

But it felt different, once they had returned to their respective palaces. Now that they were free.

* * *

Crowley set his fingertips on Aziraphale’s temples, as lightly as Aziraphale had touched him earlier, and slowly drew them down his face. He took note of each line and crevice, each indentation of skin, the curve of his mouth, the softness of his earlobes, the bump of his chin. Were he an artist, he could have drawn Aziraphale perfectly, down to the very last detail, the very last freckle on his neck, even if he had gone a thousand years without seeing him. But now with those very features beneath his fingers, it was exploring something entirely new and magnificent.

He brushed his hands downward, down to Aziraphale’s chest, pausing where his heart was. Angels, of course, had no true need of hearts, or really any bodily organs, but when living among humans for so long, one tended to pick up these eccentricities. Crowley was exceptionally grateful for it at the moment, and took his time lingering there, feeling the steady beat beneath his hands.

There was more he wanted to explore, so much more, but these soft touches alone were threatening to undo him. He had to go slowly.

But…

He was here. As he always was. As Crowley dared to hope he always would be.

“Aziraphale,” he said. It came out a sob. This time he didn’t care.

Crowley buried his face in the curve of Aziraphale’s neck, the hot tears streaking down his cheeks staining the fabric of his coat. His touches were no longer gentle. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Aziraphale tightly, drawing him in as close as he could.

* * *

The first prince dreamed of flames.

* * *

And when Aziraphale pulled his arms around him, first dragging his hands in soothing caresses down his back, then more desperately clawing at the back of Crowley’s shirt, fingers digging in as though he was trying to grapple his way inside of him, the memory of fire slowly died away.

* * *

The second prince... dreamed of emptiness.

* * *

“Oh, my darling,” Aziraphale whispered. “Holding you feels so… complete.”

Crowley made a noise, and it may have been a word, or even the start of a rather brilliant sentence articulating just how complete it all felt, but it was lost to the waves of their quiet sobs.

* * *

Neither of them could quite say what was wrong.

* * *

“I’m so sorry,” Aziraphale said. One of his hands was in Crowley’s hair, half stroking, half pulling at it. Whatever it was, he seemed desperate to bury himself within it. “I should have… I never… we could…”

Crowley wanted to comfort him, to offer him reassurances, that he understood, that it didn’t matter any longer, that they had survived, and they were here, and he knew it, he could feel how very alive they were, how very together. But all he could manage was to miraculously hold Aziraphale even closer.

Somehow, he rather thought that got the point across.

* * *

They were free now, but they’d been in these habits for so long… it was hard to break.

* * *

Being wrapped up in Aziraphale’s embrace felt so easy. Crowley wanted to melt into his softness. He had a suspicion that would be easy, too.

It was so hard to fathom. Millennium upon millennium of dancing around each other, avoiding any and all physical contact… it all seemed so reasonable at the time. A safety precaution. Plausible deniability.

Not to mention the matter of Aziraphale’s steadfast denial that what they shared was anything more than mere “fraternization.”

But now, all those barriers had melted it away. There was nothing standing between them any longer.

* * *

But one day the second prince decided enough was enough, and he traveled to his prince’s palace.

* * *

“There, my dear,” Aziraphale said, sniffling. “Does this ease some of your discomfort?”

Crowley nodded. Then, realizing Aziraphale couldn’t see his head, given how it was still nestled into his shoulder, he said “yes.” However, again, given how his head was still nestled into his shoulder, it came out more as “yemph.”

Aziraphale chuckled, and carded his fingers through Crowley’s hair. “I wish I had known. I would have come by earlier. I only thought you needed your space. There was no need for you to suffer like this for days.”

“I‘m sorry,” Crowley said, and, with a colossal amount of effort, raised his head. An unpleasant whiff followed him. “Urgh, I stink. And I got your jacket all wet and wrinkled. I can miracle it right up.”

* * *

His prince was a sight to behold. Tired, drawn, pale.

* * *

“You’re lovely,” Aziraphale said. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and delicately dabbed at Crowley’s cheeks. A familiar tickle swept over Crowley’s entire body as he pulled the handkerchief away; he’d been miraculously cleaned. “Don’t you fret.”

The primal need to hold Aziraphale close had passed, but Crowley was still not remotely inclined to let him go. “Thank you,” he said, and squeezed his arm. “I’m… grateful.”

Aziraphale gave him the softest of smiles. “And I, I suspect… am yours.”

* * *

He’d been awake for so long. Not just his body, but his soul. On guard. Prepared for attack.

* * *

Crowley shook his head, attempting to come to his senses. He wracked his brain for a witty reply, something to make him seem worthy of such a proclamation, but his clever retorts had all gone to rest without him. “Right,” he managed, quite proud of himself for managing to at least get that out. “Erm, same. Yours.”

Aziraphale wrapped his arm around Crowley’s waist. “Good. Now, come along. Let’s get you taken care of.”

* * *

He needed rest.

* * *

Aziraphale led Crowley to his bedroom. Crowley didn’t fight when Aziraphale gently pushed him to the bed, nor when he kneeled to remove his boots. So calming were Aziraphale’s touches that Crowley didn’t even raise an eyebrow when the angel, blushing, suggested removing Crowley’s jeans so he’d be more comfortable.

But as soon as Aziraphale sat beside him on the bed and moved to cover him with the duvet, the old panic began to worm its way into Crowley’s chest.

“Wait,” Crowley said, grabbing Aziraphale’s wrist. “I still… I still might… what if I don’t wake up?”

Aziraphale paused for the briefest of moments, then bent over to remove his own shoes.

* * *

THEY needed rest.

* * *

“I’ll stay with you,” Aziraphale said, and unbuttoned his waistcoat. “Right by your side. And I’ll wake you the very second I notice any signs of distress. I promise.”

“Even if I have to sleep for a thousand years?” Crowley asked.

“Even then,” Aziraphale said. He quickly stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, and set his clothing down on a nearby chair. Then he slid into bed next to Crowley and pulled the duvet over them.

* * *

So our second prince slipped his hand into the first’s.

* * *

Lying here in bed with Aziraphale pressed behind him, their fingers laced together... it should have been enough to set all of Crowley’s nerves on fire. And perhaps he’d wake up in a decade or two, and realize the position they were in, and immediately burst forth with a new explosion of energy and a million questions about what this was, and what they were doing, and what exactly they hoped to achieve.

But for now, he was content to just be.

* * *

They curled up around each other, safe in each other’s arms.

* * *

It was warm, and comforting, and if this was what eternity had in store for them, Crowley would finally consider himself blessed.

* * *

It was magic. The touch awakened them. So much so they couldn’t believe they hadn’t been doing this all along.

* * *

Crowley closed his eyes. “Thank you, angel,” he whispered.

* * *

But it didn’t matter now.

* * *

“My love,” Aziraphale responded, just as soft. “Shall I tell you a bedtime story? To help you sleep?”

* * *

For the first time in six millennia, they were at peace.

* * *

Crowley pulled Aziraphale’s hand to his chest. “Please,” he said, and pressed his lips to Aziraphale’s wrist.

* * *

They were together.

* * *

Aziraphale gave his hand a squeeze, and when he spoke, his breath washed over Crowley’s face like a caress.

* * *

And they slept.

* * *

“Once upon a time,” Aziraphale said, “in a faraway land…”

* * *

And they lived happily ever after.

#Good Omens #ineffable husbands #Aziraphale x Crowley #Anthony J. Crowley #Aziraphale #my fic #LET THEM CRY LET THEM TOUCH LET THEM HUG LET THEM SLEEP LET THEM SPOON LET THEM BE SOFT #that's it that's the fic #also I swear it took me longer to sort out half decent formatting for this fic than to actually write it so #I apologize tumblr is awful

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