#phillip coulson: hospital

[tahitiwoke]

@ruinaa / a quiet hospital room. 

hi, i’m looking for phillip coulson? great, hello, this is sarah pritchett, i’m a nurse at new york general. we’ve got a young woman here named josephine lewis - she gave us your number as somebody who might be able to come and collect her? yes. that’s right. we can validate parking, sure. alright. great, i’ll let her know. thank you. 

phil makes it across town in record time. really, that isn’t saying much since it’s almost five am and the city is either bedding down for the morning or only just starting to stir; they call it the city which never sleeps, but phil has found that in thirty years, there are sometimes lulls in the noise. sometimes, you can catch new york in a state of dozing off. the porsche is not spacious and so he borrows a work vehicle, large, an escalade that phil wouldn’t be caught fucking dead in at any other time of the day. 

    he isn’t sure what state she will be in and he doesn’t want her to have to duck around a tiny doorway if it can be avoided. 

the nurse points him down a hallway and then another hallway and then a flight of stairs and another fucking hallway, until he finds room fifteen-c. its one of those four bed rooms and she’s sat in the far corner of one and looks engulfed by the space around her. her arm is unbroken but in a sling and there’s a bloom of a bruise along her cheek and there is a stripe of anger, fear, frustration, circling back to anger -- 

     “ josephine -- what happened? “   he reaches out as if to touch her but falters at the last minute, instead redirecting his hands to his hips. she’s so goddamn small, so much smaller than him. she can’t be terribly more than five one, maybe five two, and he’s pushing six and a half.  “ did someone do this? i told you to call if you worked this late -- “

[sofiasinclair]

@coulsonsshield​

Shadowing is what Sofia was supposed to be doing. And for the most part, she had done just that. The only time that she even considered breaking away from the group was when she had overheard a few nurses talking about a Coulson who had been admitted -- but they way they were talking about his injuries? It was clear that it was torture. At least, from what Sofia could gather. (Maybe the fact that she had experienced a different kind of torture made her look for that experience in others.) 

The second she was on break though? Sofia quickly made her way to the room he was in -- it was a private one, and Sofia wasn’t sure if it was because of the nature of his injuries or because he was an Agent of SHIELD, but she was glad there was privacy because then she wouldn’t have to pretend they had met in a different way. Sofia knocked on the wall gently after she entered the room, “Hey,” Sofia started with an awkward smile. “I don’t know if you remember me but I know Jessica and Daisy -- Sofia. My name is Sofia.” Not exactly the smooth introduction she wanted, but not everyone had the memory she did and she wasn’t sure if she had left any impression on him before. After all, so much was happening with Fish and -- well. Everything. “I wanted to see if you were okay. I heard bits and pieces -- and, um.” She cleared her throat and approached the bed, “I brought real food. Better than the weird diet food they’re feeding you -- which is ridiculous by the way, you’re not pregnant and you’re not diabetic --- are you? Anyway, you don’t need hospital food. The least they could do is give you a proper meal.” 

[hesitate9]

The Enchantress

Ch 4

5 years later.

It was the year 2011. A heat signature came across the computer screen of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. S.H.I.E.L.D. was formed by Peggy Carter, Howard Stark and Colonel Phillips after the death of Captain America.

“Sir!” The agent frantically went to his superior

“Yes, Agent?” He asked

“There is a heat signature on my screen and it’s coming from below the sea.” The agent said and they hurriedly rushed over to the monitor.

“Get me Director Fury” The superior ordered the agent

“Yes sir” The Agent replied

“Sir, Director Fury is on line” The Agent said and handed the phone over to his superior

“Agent Coulson, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Nick Fury the current head of S.H.I.E.L.D. asked

“Director, we have found a heat signature below the surface of the sea. It seems to be coming from a human. It’s not that strong but it’s there” Agent Coulson replied

“Start an extracting process. No one can survive in the waters of Artic specially in the Winter” Nick Fury said

“Yes sir” Agent Coulson replied and cut the line

“Listen up, everyone new mission. You see this heat signature displayed on your screens right now we must extract it!” Phil Coulson told his team.

“Fish, get the equipment ready,” He said

“Grant, May get ready for extraction” he ordered

“Ruby, keep an eye on the heat signature. Monitor it” Coulson said as everyone got to their tasks.

Grant and May getting ready in Scuba Diving equipment equipped for going into cold waters, Fish getting the equipment ready and Ruby monitoring the heat signature.

The Quinjet was lowered so Grant and May could jump into the water. They were handed a device to track the location of the heat signature. May leading and Grant following her they came across an ice block. They started boring a hole in the ice block with the drilling equipment they had and attached a hook at both sides and some nylon ropes. The tucked on the ropes and along with the ice block they were pulled out of the water.

Grant and May were immediately sent to change clothes and then to Jemma in the medical ward.

“Fish, Ruby take the ice black and put it near a heater but make sure the water doesn’t drip down into the Quinjet’s system.” Agent Coulson ordered.

Within a few hours the Quinjet landed near the Triskelion in Washington D.C. Agent Coulson went inside the room where the ice block was kept and when he entered the door a small gasp left his mouth and he stands there for a few minutes just staring at the ice block.

“What is taking so long Phil?” Nick Fury asked

“Phil?” Nick asked and looked at the place from where Coulson couldn’t move his eyes from and when he saw what Agent Coulson was looking at his eye widened and his mouth hung open. Not many times had Nick Fury been in a state of shock where his mouth hung open but this surely was because the person in the Ice Block was none other that Captain America. Still in his original captain America uniform with a few bruises on his face. He stood there in his glory.

When Phil and Nick came out of their trance, they immediately shipped the National Hero inside the Headquarters.

“Nick!” Alexander Pierce the Secretary of the World Council and Nick Fury’s old friend called him

“Yes?” He asked

“Why did you tell Coulson’s team to do the extraction now we are behind schedule” Alexander said

“I’m glad. I did” Nick said

“Why?” Pierce asked and Nick pointed towards the place where men working on melting the ice around Captain America all led by a brunette clad in expensive clothes.

“Captain America” Alexander Pierce whispered

“Yes” Nick Fury said and looked at the defrosted Captain.

“Well, popsicle has melted better to keep him in a hospital room and decorate it with a 40’s theme so he doesn’t freak out.”  Said Tony Stark. The owner of Stark Industries and son of Howard Stark an old friend of the Captain.

“Thank You for your help, Tony we will transfer Mr. Rogers to his medical ward.” Nick Fury said and Tony nodded. He bid them both farewell and left.

“Why don’t you see to Captain America’s arrangements and I’ll go in my office and make sure that this news doesn’t leave till he is ready to come in front of the world” Alexander said and left.

He walked inside his office and closed the door he picked up his phone and called one of his trusted men.

“Wake the asset and tell him to train the girl. Captain is alive” Alexander said and cut the phone.

Rumlow who was in his office at S.H.I.E.L.D. picked up his phone and heard a voice on the other side.

“Wake the asset and tell him to train the girl. Captain is alive” and the phone cut.

Rumlow ran out of his office and went to his boss and asked for a leave due to some family emergency. He was granted a month’s paid leave and he left the office. He called someone in HYDRA and in a few hours, there was a helicopter landing in front of him. He sat on the helicopter and flew to Siberia.

When he landed there, he was greeted by Jasper Sitwell.

“How is the girl doing?” Rumlow asked Jasper

“She is doing well. She is ready for the Super Soldier Serum” Jasper said

“Get her. Ready and wake the asset. He has to train the girl” Rumlow said

“But he wouldn’t agree to it” Jasper said

“He will he cares for the girl and doesn’t forget if not for the sake of the missions he will train her to make sure she can defend herself.” Rumlow said

“Yes sir.” Jasper agreed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<< Ch 3

Ch 5 >>

[hecckyeah]

Until the Night is Over

In honor of the episode starting in 2 minutes... I started a new Sousy fic :)

(Read it on AO3 or under the cut)

Based on @cutestuff38��s youtube video here

Modern AU, young SHIELD, Daisy/Sousa partners to lovers

Enjoy!

.

.

August 11th, 2019

.

Daisy Johnson clutched her radio in a shaking, sweaty hand. Around her, the wind whipped violently, trying to tug her away from her fate. Just one more mile, she reminded herself over and over again. She could hear screaming in the distance, and she cursed her weak, bruised body for how agonizingly slow it was moving.

He had to be close.

Sand found its way down into her boots, up to scratch her knees, and it circled her neck like a vise. Her eyes burned.

The air seemed to split suddenly around her. She threw herself to the ground, burying her head in her arms. Gunshots tore the sand dunes apart. Rocks flew.

Daisy curled herself up as tight as she could.

Shouting echoed around the entire valley, and when the gunshots let up for a few seconds, she strained to triangulate the sound. It was close.

Scrambling to her feet, she pressed the button on her radio. “I have Daniel’s twenty. This is Agent Johnson. I repeat, I have his twenty.”

The sand in her boots felt like tiny spears. Dust settled into her mouth and seemed to pierce her lungs. She couldn’t see the path, but she pressed on, hurtling over rocks and sand with a vigor she hadn’t felt since her first day in the field. Her legs numbly hurled themselves forward, and her arms shook with pent-up rage.

Sounds of struggling finally became clearer and clearer, and with a shocking suddenness, Daisy’s hair stayed still. The wind gave up. Her breath caught in her mouth. She almost stumbled to her knees, but sheer force of will kept her upright . . . just in time to see Daniel double over, surrounded by three men, teetering dangerously close to a steep cliff.

The sound Sousa made shook Daisy to her core.

With one last burst of speed, she hurled herself toward the group of men.

Shrieking, “No!” she tackled the nearest thug. They went down in a cloud of dust, Daisy’s fists meeting his jaw over and over . . . Even after his eyes closed and her fist met no resistance.

A pair of hands gripped her upper arms, and someone clutched her eyes. She screamed and fought and clawed, but they were too strong.

Too strong . . . She was too weak to save Daniel . . . She was too weak to get there in time, and now . . . now . . . He was dead.

She caught a glimpse of open eyes, stark red sand, a twisted leg. Her ears stopped hearing things. Her forehead was numb. All she knew was to scream and to scream and that he was dead.

Backup wasn’t coming. She was alone.

She was alone, and he was dead. And it was her fault.

.

.

.

July 23rd, 2014

.

Daniel Sousa had seen some strange things in his life.

After two tours in Iraq, he had seen his fair share of combat. He had seen superstition running rampage in his barracks. He had seen the inside of a field hospital. He had seen soldiers go mentally insane. And after he returned home, the weirdness just kept coming.

His first year out of active service, he was hired by none other than Phillip Coulson to head up all combat training for a brand new under-the-radar organization.

“Never heard of SHIELD,” Daniel had admitted.

Coulson rested his arms on the table. “That’s because it barely exists yet. We’re joining with the SSR as a single organization. SHIELD will focus on field work, large scale weapons and , and the SSR can keep supporting us through science and technology.”

“What’s the purpose? Wouldn’t the military be enough to keep America safe?” Daniel glanced up from the thick folder.

“SHIELD is more of a . . .” Coulson wrinkled his eyebrows, “. . . supernatural protection force. We aim not just for America, but to keep the whole world safe. Think of it as the FBI or CIA, with really big weapons. This world is getting smaller, Mr. Sousa. We don’t know what types of threats are waiting, from space, from underground, even from different worlds. We need you to help us prepare for any world-wide, nation-wide, or even city-wide catastrophe that could appear.”

“By catastrophe, you mean . . . like what happened in New York?”

Coulson nodded. “Exactly like that.”

He browsed through the files for a few minutes. “Okay.” Daniel looked up. “Let’s do it.”

They shook hands, and Sousa’s life was forever changed.  

.

He was shipped out to the base on Area 51 almost immediately, complete with a small troop of about fifty. Four scientists joined him, as well as two current SSR agents.

For a long time, his life was almost perfect. He trained his squad day in and day out, going for twenty-mile runs as often as time would allow, teaching them the basics of gun handling, hand-to-hand combat, emergency procedures, and everything else under the sun.

As was natural for Area 51, he heard some strange stories. Aliens, Martians, slithering snake creatures that measured a hundred feet, masked men that shot lasers out of their eyes . . . he had heard it all. At least one recruit usually went insane during one of their runs and claimed to have been haunted. But it was nothing that a little cold water in the face and a boxing session in the base couldn’t fix.

Sousa respected his team, and they respected him. They went from calling him “Chief” with formality, to it sounding more like a term of endearment. He knew all of their names, ages, backgrounds, favorite foods, and he had had more than one heart-to-heart with all of them at some point.

Most of them were at least ten years younger than himself, and Daniel felt a sort of paternal duty to them, to see to their wellbeing. So even though they were stuck underground for the majority of the three-year training program, they felt like a family. A healthy, strong, well-oiled machine of a family.

But a not-unwelcome wrench was thrown into his plans one day.

It was the middle of the hottest summer they had seen in a long time. He had run into road block after emergency after hiccup. He was almost done with the day—almost ready to turn in for the night . . . when another thing threw him off.

And Sousa never expected to be so thrown off by just one person.

.

“Who the hell are you?”

The woman didn’t look up from the desk. Her eyebrows raised slightly, and she brought a gloved hand to her glasses. “Who I am is on a need-to-know basis.”

He did not have time for this. His bad foot had been acting up all day, he had had to walk around with that god-forsaken cane, and half his team had contracted some type of flu simultaneously. Their training exercises were delayed, and his meeting and progress demonstration with Coulson would have to be rescheduled again.

“I need to know,” he said, frustration and impatience rising off of him like the heat waves outside.

The woman pasted a smile onto her face and finally glanced up. “No, you don’t, because I don’t exist, and we never met.” She gestured toward him. “Now, will you shut the door please?”

That didn’t answer his question, nor did it give him a clue as to why she was nonchalantly sitting in the office of a high-ranking SHIELD official.

“Not until you produce some credentials,” he pressed.

Sighing, the woman stood up. “Coulson had said you were a little more welcoming to visitors.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Not when they’re sitting in my personal office and don’t identify themselves.”

“Fair,” she said, and handed him a card.

It read, Agent Daisy Johnson – Level Six – SHIELD, Washington, D.C. Consultant for Field Operations.

Daniel relaxed and let out a breath. He smiled. “Agent Johnson.”

She returned the grin. “Mr. Sousa. A pleasure to finally meet you.”

.

.

.

August 11th, 2017

.

“Attention, cadets.”

The room echoed with the sound of sixty boots stomping the floor at the same time.

Daisy Johnson strolled around the group, each new recruit looking more and more uncomfortable the longer she paced.

“You have been selected,” she finally said, “to be a part of SHIELD’s newest field training program. It will not be easy. It will break you. It will make you want to crawl into a hole and never—”

“At ease,” Sousa interrupted, as the door behind him shut with a clang.

Daisy spun on her heel to face him.

He smirked. “Stop scaring the poor recruits, please.”

Daniel clasped his hands behind his back, feet spread a comfortable distance apart. “Here’s the deal: You will not be broken,” he addressed the thirty nervous cadets. “You will be built from the ground up. We know you have skills, that is why you were selected. We will work to hone those skills. We have a fine-tuned training program, which turns you all into a team. By the end of three years, you should be working, talking, and fighting like a team. And as soon as we have the go-ahead from the Director to begin field work, you will have to be a team.”

His eyes darted between the rookies. Some looked terrified, some had stone-cold demeanors that he stared down. “Agent Johnson here will try to push you beyond your limits, but I am here to help you find those limits. Agent Johnson will be in charge of all hand-to-hand combat training, so you have my permission stay a healthy distance away if you don’t want to have your teeth knocked out.”

A nervous chuckle rippled through the group.

“All you need to know,” he continued, “is that we expect your very best. You all have strengths and weaknesses, but we need you to harness them both. We want you to be the best agents of SHIELD that you can be. Now . . .” he checked his watch, “. . . I believe it’s time for lunch. Dismissed.”

.

“They really respect you, you know” Daisy said. She jogged a couple steps to keep up with his long strides, then slowed again. “You could really make this base into something great. I think—”

“I’m requesting a new assignment.”

Daisy stopped. A light flickered in the hallway.

“Sorry, what?”

Sousa beckoned her into the office with him. The door clicked shut, and he breathed a sigh. “Don’t get me wrong: I love what I do, and I love the people I train. But Davis is more than ready to take over, and to be honest with you . . . it’s hard to train people for the field when I know I won’t be out there myself. I want more than just a . . .” he rested a fist on the table, “. . . a desk job.”

She didn’t know what to say.

Thankfully, Daniel continued. “I have a meeting with the Director in a couple weeks, and I’m going to request a change. I want to bring the first squad I trained out into the field. You know the plane that Fitz designed?”

Daisy nodded.

“I’m going to ask to use that as a mobile command center. There are more and more threats popping up all over the place, and the military can only do so much. With Fitzsimmons, we’d be equipped to contain and handle anything. I think it’s time we stopped hiding in these underground . . . bomb shelters.”

Taking a deep breath, Daisy leaned against the door. “Okay. Sure.” She tried to collect her thoughts, but a hundred questions tried to escape her mouth at once. “Uh.”

Daniel sat on the edge of his desk, facing her. “Actually, I wanted to see if . . . If maybe, you would come with me?”

“Partners?” Her eyes lit up. “Me, you, Fitzsimmons?”

Sousa nodded. “Maybe Rodriguez or Hunter.”

Finally, Daisy smiled. She pulled off her gloves and flapped them around. “Sounds like the dream team.” Pulling herself away from the door, she extended her hand to Daniel. “Let’s do it.”

They shook on it.

.

[aurumacadicus]

@digdipper09 said Phil/Maria! The prompt was “I love you.”

Officially, romantic relationships in SHIELD were forbidden.

“A cellist, in Portland.”

Officially, romantic relationships in SHIELD could get you fired.

“I’m sorry, boss. The god rabbited.”

Officially, romantic relationships in SHIELD could get you blacklisted from other agencies.

“No. I’m clocked out here.”

Officially, romantic relationships in SHIELD were forbidden.

“Agent Coulson is down.”

Unofficially, no one really paid attention to that rule.

“I love you,” Phil said.

“This is the third time in ten minutes you’ve said that,” Maria said, amused, and sat down on the edge of his hospital bed. “You gonna make it a fourth?”

“I love you,” Phil said, smiling thinly at her.

She shrugged one shoulder, unconcerned. “It’s just some dumb cards.”

“They’re not dumb,” Phil said immediately, like she knew he would. “They’re collectors’ items.”

“Dumb,” Maria repeated. “Eat your jello.”

“I would rather die,” Phil said. She hated that she couldn’t tell whether he was being serious or not. “You got Captain America to sign them.”

“Yeah, he felt really bad about you giving your life to the cause before he could sign yours, so he definitely didn’t want to turn me down in case I died too,” Maria replied, taking a sip of her coffee. She nearly spat it back out because she’d forgotten how bad hospital coffee was. “I just wanted to get you a set of cards that wasn’t bloody.”

“It wasn’t my blood,” Phil said reasonably.

Maria did not tell him that that was somehow worse. “In any case,” she said instead. “Now you owe me. We’re definitely going to go to that new fusion Indian place and you’re definitely letting me order for you.”

“I can barely stomach jello,” Phil tried.

Maria gave him a sardonic look. “This is not a debt that will expire, Phillip.”

Phil gave her such an offended look that she almost snorted her next sip of coffee back out her nose. “Don’t call me that. How dare you. I’m injured.”

“Yeah, uh huh, that’s not what you were saying when you tried to get me to sneak in a steak.”

“Maria, if I am forced to eat another bowl of jello, I may actually break out of here,” Phil told her seriously.

“I got you the green kind,” Maria said helpfully, and shoved his tray at him more insistently.

“Maria,” Phil said. “I have never wanted to murder a person more in my entire life.”

Maria jiggled the plate. “It’s got pears in it.”

“I’ll remember this,” Phil told her ominously, even as he carefully placed the cards on the desk and picked up his spoon to eat.

“Good,” Maria retorted. “Maybe next time you won’t be an idiot and get stabbed by a psychopath dressed like a moss-covered elk.”

Phil spat the jello out, laughing in disbelief. “I didn’t try to get stabbed.”

Maria shrugged, trying to appear unaffected. She was sorry to say that she wasn’t entirely sure it worked. “Well, you worried me, so I’m never letting you live this down.”

Phil laughed some more, but his expression softened a little too. “I love you.”

Maria smiled down at her cup of coffee, a little too embarrassed to look at his face. “I love you, too.”

[marvelbang]

Thread of Life by MiladyDragon, art by Huntress79

Thread of Life (70465 words) by MiladyDragon

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Hawkeye (Comics), Emergency! (TV 1972)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson

Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Jasper Sitwell, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Kate Bishop, Nick Fury, Skye | Daisy Johnson, Kelly Brackett, Dixie McCall, Joe Early, Johnny Gage, Roy DeSoto, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja (Marvel), Heimdall (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, others - Character

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Immortality, Immortal Phil Coulson, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Violence, Medical Procedures, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jasper Sitwell is Not Hydra, Phil Coulson & Jasper Sitwell Friendship, Magic, Serious Injuries, Disabled Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Minor Skye/Kate Bishop, Fix-It

Summary:

Dr. Michael Preston has been the Head of Emergency Medicine at Rampart General Hospital, in Los Angeles, for nearly two years. However, the man now calling himself Michael Preston has a past that is about to come back and haunt him.

Because he is immortal, and was once known as Phillip J. Coulson, Agent of SHIELD, who died on the helicarrier during the Battle of New York. Who left behind an entire life, with friends and a man he loved but didn't dare tell because of that immortality. And it was all about to come down around him, all because he hadn't taken into consideration that aliens might attack Los Angeles, bringing the Avengers with them...especially Clint Barton, Hawkeye, whom he still had feelings for.

Art post by Huntress79: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/marvel_bang_2021/works/35767165

[overlyenthusiastic-personalblog]

Chapter 1: October 1, 2012

Chapter Text

Date: October 1, 2012

Patient: Phillip Coulson, Agent, Level 8

Temperature: 97.1 F

Pulse: 72

Respiration: 16

Blood pressure: 90/55 mm Hg

Weight: 165 lbs, BMI 24

SUBJECTIVE

Patient is friendly and cheerful in demeanor, making jokes and inquiring about when it may be time to return to work. Normal appetite and thirst. Normal sleeping habits per patient. Patient reports some lingering discomfort at the site of the fatal wound but has not asked for pain relief stronger than ibuprofen 800mg in over one week. Patient states that overall he is feeling excellent, but impatient to get back into the field.

Patient reports dreaming of working on a red Corvette with his deceased father and describes the dream as peaceful and pleasant, if mundane.

OBJECTIVE

General: Bright, alert, friendly. Normal demeanor and hygiene.

Skin: 35cm x 10cm jagged scar on left thorax and abdomen extending from level of T7 to the navel, tender on palpation. Scarred skin is mildly fragile. Wound contraction proceeding as expected.

EENT: Eyes and ears clear, no nasal discharge, within normal limits.

Cardiovascular: Normal rate and rhythm, no murmur ausculted, pulses within normal limits.

Respiratory: Within normal limits

Glandular/lymph node: Within normal limits

Musculoskeletal: Moderate diffuse muscle wasting in left arm consistent with decreased use. Mild reduction in range of motion of left arm.

Urogenital: Within normal limits

Abdominal: Within normal limits

Extremities: Within normal limits

Neurologic: Mentally appropriate, normal proprioception

ASSESSMENT

Normal demeanor and attitude.

Physical status as expected given severity of initial condition. Muscular condition is improving.

No evidence of adverse effects from GH-325 as previously reported in other patients.

PLAN

Continue physical therapy for left arm

Continue ibuprofen 800mg PO BID-TID PRN

Continue monitoring physical and mental status

Continue logging dreams

Chapter 2: December 11, 2012

Chapter Text

Date: December 11, 2012

Patient: Phillip Coulson, Agent, Level 8

Temperature: 97.3 F

Pulse: 68

Respiration: 14

Blood pressure: 89/54 mm Hg

Weight: 161 lbs, BMI 24

SUBJECTIVE

Patient is friendly and polite, but expresses frustration and boredom at needing to remain in hospital. Patient states that he feels great and that he is ready for field work as soon as he can be cleared. Patient requests some new books to read as he has finished those available to him. Normal appetite, thirst, and sleeping habits per patient. Per patient his wound is less painful than before. Patient appears to be in good spirits. No current medications.

When asked to discuss dreams patient becomes evasive and jokes to deflect the question. Patient remains friendly and affable but is not eager to share his dreams. When pressed patient states that he dreamed something upsetting but does not remember it anymore.

OBJECTIVE

General: Bright, alert, friendly. Normal demeanor and hygiene.

Skin: 35cm x 10cm jagged scar on left thorax and abdomen extending from level of T7 to the navel, not painful on palpation.

EENT: Eyes and ears clear, no nasal discharge, within normal limits.

Cardiovascular: Normal rate and rhythm, no murmur ausculted, pulses within normal limits.

Respiratory: Within normal limits

Glandular/lymph node: Within normal limits

Musculoskeletal: Mild diffuse muscle wasting in left arm consistent with decreased use. Mild reduction in range of motion of left arm, improved from last assessment..

Urogenital: Within normal limits

Abdominal: Within normal limits

Extremities: Within normal limits

Neurologic: Mentally appropriate, normal proprioception

ASSESSMENT

Physical improvement continues. Muscular condition is improving.

Patient has not been reluctant to discuss dreams before. Rule out initial adverse effects from GH-325 treatment vs. normal reluctance to discuss unpleasant dreams.

PLAN

Continue physical therapy and rehabilitation exercises

Increase monitoring of mental status and sleep activity

Continue to monitor for adverse effects of GH-325 administration

Chapter 3: January 4, 2013

Chapter Text

Date: January 4, 2013

Patient: Phillip Coulson, Agent, Level 8

Temperature: 97.1 F

Pulse: 76

Respiration: 18

Blood pressure: 95/60 mm Hg

Weight: 157 lbs, BMI 22

SUBJECTIVE

Patient is friendly when greeted but quiet today. When asked if something is troubling him patient states no. Patient has no complaints of pain or trouble sleeping. However, sleep studies from the previous night show four separate waking events. Patient does not remember waking up. Normal appetite and thirst per patient.

Patient reports dreaming of an endless sea and people talking in a language he does not understand. When asked to elaborate patient becomes withdrawn and does not wish to continue the conversation, askiing to return to his room.

OBJECTIVE

General: Quiet, alert, friendly. Subdued demeanor. Normal hygiene.

Skin: 33cm x 9cm jagged scar on left thorax and abdomen extending from level of T7 to the navel. Fully healed.

EENT: Eyes and ears clear, no nasal discharge, within normal limits.

Cardiovascular: Normal rate and rhythm, no murmur ausculted, pulses within normal limits.

Respiratory: Within normal limits

Glandular/lymph node: Within normal limits

Musculoskeletal: Muscling in left arm is improved and nearly equal to the right arm. Range of motion is still slightly limited in left arm compared to right.

Urogenital: Within normal limits

Abdominal: Within normal limits

Extremities: Within normal limits

Neurologic: Mentally appropriate, normal proprioception, subdued mood.

ASSESSMENT

Physical improvement continues. Muscular condition is nearly restored to initial conditions.

Patient is exhibiting interrupted sleep, subdued mood, weight loss, and dreams of the sea.

Suspect patient is developing signs of adverse effects from GH-325 treatment as consistent with previous patient responses, despite altered dose and protocol in this patient.

PLAN

Continue physical therapy and rehabilitation exercises

Consider psychiatric intervention if symptoms continue to progress

Continue sleep monitoring

Chapter 4: February 2, 2013

Chapter Text

Date: February 2, 2013

Patient: Phillip Coulson, Agent, Level 8

Temperature: 98.1 F

Pulse: 80

Respiration: 20

Blood pressure: 120/75 mm Hg

Weight: 154 lbs, BMI 22

SUBJECTIVE

Patient is quiet today and rarely makes eye contact during conversation. When asked if patient is experiencing pain patient says nothing. When asked a second time patient shakes his head no. Patient reports a reduced appetite and says that something seems to be wrong with the food but does not elaborate. Patient asks for new books again, stating the ones that have been delivered to him are boring. Patient reports feeling restless when trying to sleep. Sleep study data show eight waking events during the previous night’s sleep.

Despite poor sleep hygiene patient reports that he dreamed “a lifetime’s” worth of dreams last night. When asked to discuss what he dreamed about patient became agitated and refused to speak. When repeatedly questioned patient requested calmly to be left alone, and asked to end the interview.

OBJECTIVE

General: Quiet demeanor, anxious expression. Hair is mussed and patient, normally clean-shaven, exhibits stubble.

Skin: 33cm x 9cm jagged healed scar on left thorax and abdomen extending from level of T7 to the navel.

EENT: Mild dilation of pupils. Ears clear, no nasal discharge.

Cardiovascular: Normal rate and rhythm, no murmur ausculted, pulses within normal limits.

Respiratory: Within normal limits

Glandular/lymph node: Within normal limits

Musculoskeletal: Muscling in left arm is improved and nearly equal to the right arm. Range of motion is still slightly limited in left arm compared to right.

Urogenital: Within normal limits

Abdominal: Within normal limits

Extremities: Within normal limits

Neurologic: Patient folds and unfolds his hands in his lap repeatedly and does not appear to be aware of the behavior. Normal proprioception and gait. Agitated mood, normal mentation.

ASSESSMENT

Wound is fully healed

Mild impairment in range of motion of left arm

Weight loss, reduced appetite, frequent waking, borderline hypertension, vivid dreams, and agitation consistent with GH-325 exposure

PLAN

Continue physical therapy and rehabilitation exercises

Institute GH-325 adverse effect treatment protocol A

Institute suicide watch and modify patient’s room accordingly

Chapter 5: March 19, 2013

Chapter Text

Date: March 19, 2013

Patient: Phillip Coulson, Agent, Level 8

Temperature: 97.9 F

Pulse: 96

Respiration: 28

Blood pressure: 128/85 mm Hg

Weight: 149 lbs, BMI 22

SUBJECTIVE

Patient is currently undergoing GH-325 AETP-A. Patient declined to perform physical therapy exercises today, stating he felt unwell.

When greeted for examination today patient was severely withdrawn. Patient was difficult to rouse verbally. When touched on the shoulder patient was hyperreactive; patient stood up and tried to hit me. Patient realized it was me before making contact and apologized immediately, but appeared frightened by the incident. Requested two aides in exam room before proceeding. Aides remained present for remainder of exam. Patient showed no further inclination towards violence or combative behavior.

Patient is very quiet today. When questioned patient prefers to give only yes or no answers. Per patient he is not sleeping well, is not hungry, and has normal thirst. Patient says he does not want to read our books anymore because they are wrong. When asked if he is in pain patient turns away and faces the wall. Patient did not give a verbal response to this question.

When asked to discuss his dreams patient got up and tried to leave the exam room. Patient required moderate restraint to prevent him from leaving the room. Patient was not combative but struggled to get free of the aides until he was told he did not need to discuss dreams today. At the end of the examination, patient stated, “I need to know,” but refused to provide further explanation.

During patient’s examination his sleeping quarters were examined. Several lines of writing consisting of connected circles and diamonds, similar to those produced by other T.A.H.I.T.I. patients, were found carved in the wall behind the bed. Carving width and depth was consistent with patient using his fingernails to create the patterns. Blood stains were found in one of the lines. See attached photos.

OBJECTIVE

General: Withdrawn demeanor. Patient appears mildly sedated when not speaking. When speaking, patient speaks more rapidly than normal. Hair is mussed and patient exhibits stubble.

Skin: 33cm x 9cm jagged healed scar on left thorax and abdomen extending from level of T7 to the navel.

EENT: Mild dilation of pupils. Ears clear, no nasal discharge.

Cardiovascular: Increased heart rate, no arrhythmia noted, no murmur ausculted, pulses within normal limits.

Respiratory: Within normal limits

Glandular/lymph node: Within normal limits

Musculoskeletal: Muscling in left arm is improved and nearly equal to the right arm. Did not evaluate range of motion due to patient’s previous attempt to hit.

Urogenital: Within normal limits

Abdominal: Within normal limits

Extremities: All fingernails are bitten short. The index and middle fingers of the right hand exhibit exposure of the quick and have dried blood around the cuticles.

Neurologic: Normal proprioception and gait. Withdrawn demeanor, hyperreactive to touch. Patient is aware of his surroundings but appears paranoid and disturbed.

ASSESSMENT

AETP-A alone does not appear to be effective in reducing effects of GH-325

Weight loss and mood and sleep disturbances are worsening

Hypergraphia and secondary self-mutilation present

PLAN

Discontinue physical therapy until mental status improved

Institute GH-325 adverse effect treatment protocols B and C in addition to AETP-A

Institute restraints at night to reduce inadvertent self-mutilation secondary to hypergraphia

Despite patient’s previously stated refusal of the full T.A.H.I.T.I. protocol prior to his death, consider institution of complete protocol if AETPs ineffective

Chapter 6: April 19, 2013

Chapter Text

Date: April 19, 2013

Patient: Phillip Coulson, Agent, Level 8

Temperature: 99.1 F

Pulse: 120

Respiration: 40

Blood pressure: 140/100 mm Hg

Weight: 141 lbs, BMI 20

SUBJECTIVE

Patient is currently undergoing GH-325 AETP-A, B and C.

Patient began to cry when brought into exam room. When asked what had upset him patient shouted that he had been “chosen” and that he needed to write the words. Patient continued to shout, demanding a knife so he could write. Patient was told he could not have a knife right now but could be given one later as a reward for good behavior. Patient allowed himself to be seated with the help of aides but continued crying for several minutes before calming.

When patient was calm, he was asked about his appetite and stated that food was no longer important. Patient also stated sleep was “an unnecessary burden.” Per patient he is not painful “in the world,” but “out of it, yes, it hurts all the time. No one said birth was easy, you know.”

Patient appeared calm and relaxed during this portion of the interview. Patient was asked if he knew his name. Patient answered, “Coulson,” but did not give a first or middle name. Patient was asked his first name but shook his head and smiled instead of answering. Patient was asked if his first name was Phillip. Patient said no and laughed.

When asked about his dreams, patient stated the following:

[Transcript of voice recording: “I wish you could see it. …I think you’re worried about me, and that’s nice of you, but you don’t need to be. (laughter) I see it all. Those ancient hallways, the endless sea, their voices calling me home. I’m just trying to get there. I’m asking you to not get in my way. I need to know. I just need to let it out and then I’ll see it, then I’ll understand, everyone’s going to picture this. Monsters and monuments, there’s a beauty that burns in the dark and you’re going to help me find it. I need to know. (shouting) I need to know! I need to know!”]

Patient became combative and required restraint and sedation for the remainder of exam. Administered intramuscular haloperidol 10mg and promethazine 30mg in right dorsogluteal muscle. Adequate sedation was achieved for physical exam.

OBJECTIVE

General: Prior to sedation, patient appeared alternately sad, calm, jubilant, and angry. Patient exhibited rapid speech patterns consistent with manic state. Hair is mussed, stubble is present, and clothing has been torn by patient. Patient is sweating and does not appear to have bathed for a few days.

Skin: 33cm x 9cm jagged healed scar on left thorax and abdomen extending from level of T7 to the navel.

EENT: Prior to sedation, bilateral mydriasis present. Ears clear, no nasal discharge.

Cardiovascular: Tachycardia, no arrhythmia or murmur ausculted, bounding pulses.

Respiratory: Within normal limits

Glandular/lymph node: Within normal limits

Musculoskeletal: Normal muscling in both arms and chest

Urogenital: Within normal limits

Abdominal: Within normal limits

Extremities: Cuticles of fingernails all exhibit 1-3mm partial to full thickness wounds. Nails are bitten with quicks exposed. Tips of right index and middle fingers exhibit superficial and deep abrasions. Dried blood is present on multiple fingertips.

Neurologic: Prior to sedation patient exhibited rapid cycling of moods, pressured speech, agitation and violence.

ASSESSMENT

GH-325-induced psychosis unresponsive to treatment

PLAN

Recommend full institution of T.A.H.I.T.I. protocol immediately despite absence of consent. Patient suffering demands full treatment and independent recovery from GH-325-induced psychosis has not yet been demonstrated. Despite alterations in serum administration and resurrection protocols in this patient, the psychotic state has developed similarly in all patients to date.

Schedule modification procedure for tomorrow to prevent further fragmentation of patient.

Chapter 7: July 30, 2013

Chapter Text

Date: July 30, 2013

Patient: Phillip Coulson, Agent, Level 8

Temperature: 97.9 F

Pulse: 66

Respiration: 14

Blood pressure: 85/55 mm Hg

Weight: 155 lbs, BMI 23

SUBJECTIVE

Patient is friendly and cheerful in demeanor, and presents a firm handshake when greeted. Patient expresses interest in returning to work soon. Patient says he is glad for the books in his room as they give him something to do. Patient states he is eager to be cleared for active duty.

Per patient appetite is normal or slightly increased. Patient mentions his clothes seem too loose and requests more cheeseburgers from the cafeteria. Patient reports he is sleeping well. When asked if he enjoyed his time in Tahiti, patient answers, “It’s a magical place.” Patient appears content when Tahiti is discussed.

When asked if patient recalls the last few months, patient states he remembers being badly injured prior to the Battle of New York, waking up in a hospital bed, and seeing palm trees out the window. Patient states fondly that he has never seen such beautiful beaches.

Patient reports he dreamed of getting a fresh cup of coffee, but the coffee turned into bacon and eggs and when he went to complain, the waitress turned into a tabby cat. Patient states he knows that sounds ridiculous.

OBJECTIVE

General: Bright, alert, friendly. Patient is well-groomed and confident. Hair on head has almost completely grown back from where it had been shaved.

Skin: 33cm x 9cm jagged healed scar on left thorax and abdomen extending from level of T7 to the navel. Faint scar present on forehead, scar is fading and is difficult to see.

EENT: Eyes within normal limits. Ears clear, no nasal discharge.

Cardiovascular: Normal rate and rhythm, no murmur ausculted.

Respiratory: Within normal limits

Glandular/lymph node: Within normal limits

Musculoskeletal: Normal muscling in both arms and chest, normal range of motion in both arms

Urogenital: Within normal limits

Abdominal: Within normal limits

Extremities: Nails are short and well-groomed, extremities within normal limits.

Neurologic: Appropriate mentation, calm, friendly demeanor. Normal gait and proprioception.

ASSESSMENT

GH-325-induced psychosis - resolved via T.A.H.I.T.I. protocol. Memory alteration appears complete.

Reports from physical therapist and martial arts instructor indicate patient’s physical acumen is 95% of that prior to patient’s death and should continue to improve.

S.H.I.E.L.D. personality test results indicate mild but statistically significant increases in patient’s optimism, trust, and disregard for rules following institution of the protocol. S.H.I.E.L.D. psychologist review board indicates patient’s essential character remains intact and mild differences between pre- and post-death personality are unlikely to result in ill effects.

PLAN

Recommend reinstatement in the field with appropriate monitoring conditions. It is important that lack of awareness of the T.A.H.I.T.I. protocol is maintained, as knowledge of the program has resulted in relapse of psychosis in previous patients. Recommend patient be paired with an appropriately briefed handler for ideal results. Granted that patient unawareness is maintained, prognosis for full return to function is excellent.

[firstnamedirector]

ust another muse traits meme

NAME: Phillip Jules Coulson

BOLD all that applies to your muse!

• EYES: blue | green | brown| hazel | grey | gray-blue | other • HAIR: blonde | sandy | brown| black | strawberry blonde | auburn | ginger | grey / white | multi-color | other • BODY TYPE: skinny | slender | slim | built | curvy | athletic | muscular | chubby | overweight • SKIN: pale | light | fair | freckled | tan | olive | medium | dark | discolored • GENDER: male | female| trans | cis | agender | demigender | genderfluid | other | doesn’t like labels • SEXUALITY: heterosexual | homosexual | bisexual| pansexual | asexual | demisexual | other | doesn’t like labels • ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: homoromantic | heteroromantic | biromantic| panromantic | aromantic | demiromantic | unsure | doesn’t like labels • SPECIES: human| undead | shapeshifter | demon | angel | witch | ghost | incubus / succubus | werewolf | alien | mutant | other • EDUCATION: ged| high school | college | university | master’s degree | PhD | other • I’VE BEEN: in love | hurt | ill | mentally abused | bullied | physically abused | tortured | raped | brainwashed | shot • POSITIVE TRAITS: affectionate | adventurous | athletic | brave| careful| charming| confident | creative| cunning | determined| forgiving | generous | honest| humorous | intelligent | loyal | modest | patient | selfless | polite | down-to-earth | diligent| romantic | moral| fun loving | attractive| charismatic| calm • NEGATIVE TRAITS: aggressive | bossy | cynical | envious | shy | fearful | greedy | gullible | jealous | impatient | impulsive | cocky | reckless | insecure| irresponsible | mistrustful | paranoid | possessive | sarcastic | self-conscious | selfish | swears | unstable | clumsy | rebellious | emotional | vengeful | anxious | self-sabotaging | moody | peevish | angry | pessimistic | slacker | thin-skinned | overly dramatic | argumentative  • LIVING SITUATION: lives alone | lives with parent(s) / guardian | lives with significant other | lives with a friend | drifter| homeless | lives with children | DEPENDS ON VERSE • PARENTS/GUARDIAN: mom| dad | adoptive | foster | grandmother| grandfather | sibling(s) | sister(s) | brother(s) | uncle • RELATIONSHIP: single| crushing | dating | engaged | married | separated | it’s complicated | verse dependent  • I HAVE A(N): learning disorder | personality disorder | mental disorder | anxiety disorder | sleep disorder | eating disorder | behavioral disorder | substance-related disorder | ptsd | mental disability | physical disability | verse dependent  • THINGS I’VE DONE BEFORE: had alcohol | smoked | stolen| done drugs | self harmed | starved themselves | had sex | had a threesome | had a one-night stand | gotten into a fist fight | gone to a hospital | gone to jail | used a fake id| played hooky | gone to a rave | killed someone| had someone try to kill you

TAGGED BY: @inhumxnterrigenmist

[pendragonfics]

There’s No Place Like Home

Paring: Phil Coulson/Reader

Tags: female reader, AU dystopia, end of the world, dreams and nightmares, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. compliant, fluff and angst.

Summary: After everything goes south, at least there's mutual pining. That's it. That's the fic.

Word Count: 2,106

Posting Date:  2017-01-29

Current Date: 2017-06-07

Phil had been out all night, and there was no sign that he was coming home any time soon. You hated being the helpless girlfriend, but sometimes, that's what it came to. The pair of you lived in the centre of town, in a little fixer-upper apartment on his wages as a security guard. Perhaps he'd meant to call ahead, but the phone had died? Maybe the employer needed more time for him on the job. That was probably it.

You often stayed awake, sitting up, waiting for him to come in the door. At first, Phil had dissuaded it; you worked a few hours in the store below the apartment, and he didn't think it would be very professional for you to just wait up. But after a number of incidents which involved a medkit and Phil hissing against the medicine to stitch him up, he nodded, and soon took to waiting until the end of the night, to see your face.

But this night, he looked haunted.

"What's wrong?" you wondered, rushing to him. There was no signs of him being hurt, despite the sad look in his eyes, no tells that he'd been jumped or attacked on the way home. He didn't look to you, only the floor, his feet. "Phillip Coulson, you're frightening me, what's wrong?"

He's already in the door and grabbing things, and chucking them into bags by the time he answers, rushing around in a flurry you hadn't seen him so animated to do so in ages. "I need to leave this place, with you. After working the Howlett job three weeks ago, there's been a little bit of discourse." He grunts. Almost everything in his path is being put into the suitcase bag; your books, your shoes, your - , "There's a gang, the main one, you know of them."

You nod, "The one Lehnsherr runs," you help Phil pack, reaching for his tie, laying on the couch. His hand stops you from gathering it, and it hits you. "They've threatened you, to hurt me, haven't they?" you whisper.

Phil nods. "It's no idle threat," he murmurs, taking the tie from your fingers. "I'm taking you away, to stay with some people who can protect you. It's going to be easier than sitting in here for all the nights you do, and coming home to see you..." He trails off, unable to meet your eyes.

"But what about you? Won't they come for you if I'm not here?" you're worried, and you're sure you're not helping the fact that Phil, a stoic man who you've been in love with for the longest time, since before the apocalypse, is about to cry. When is the last time you can say you remember him this emotional? You can't tell. "Phil, please. I can't go off and hide when I know you're still out in those streets where they are." your vice wavers.

He shakes his head. "You'll have to trust me on this, _________."

You nod, looking anywhere else but at Phil. "There's no place like home."

---

It's been a long night, what seems like the longest he's ever gone through. What the hell had happened? It had just been a standard extraction, and his team, and ______ had gone in, smooth. No red flags. But then Daisy and Melinda had radioed in, and rushed out with _______. He couldn't believe it.

It had been okay four minutes ago.

---

The next night, instead of watching Phil go, you come with him. You're wearing as much of your clothes as you can, and in the backpack, is all the things you rationally thought you'd need (unlike Phil's packing of everything in sight). It's dark, and it's scary, sure. But it's how you need to stay alive. It wasn't like the end of the world brought special powers along with it, no. The authorities cowered from the people, the people cowered from the gangs, and the gangs cowered from nobody. All it had taken was a nuclear war, the loss of healthcare in major states, and terrible leadership from people who never heard the words "doomsday".

Either way, you were being lead to a blue truck, loaded into the back like cargo. He stood by the back, and as you held on to the place where the seat-belt was supposed to be (it wasn't like the end of the world was consisted of regular vehicle safety checks), he nodded to the driver.

Before you could say goodbye, the doors were closed, and you were off. Away. You'd thought that he'd be coming, or at least, you'd kiss him goodbye, but no. Silently, a tear fell onto one of the scarves around your neck.

"Hey, cheer up Beanie Baby," a red-head gave you a sad smile in the rear-view mirror. She patted the empty passenger seat, and added, "Come, sit with me. Talk. You look as broken as my dumb-ass truck."

Shuffling up, you double over as the red-head swerves around a corner too fast, throwing you into the side with a thunk. She gave a chuckle, and raised a middle finger to a truck overtaking her, and a curse in Russian.

"What did you call me?" You ask, snapping the seat belt around your middle.

Besides the one around her middle, it was perhaps the only one in the truck that didn't smell of ranch dressing. She raised a single brow, "I just called that stupid idiot a inbred goat - oh, Beanie Baby?" She asked, and as you nod, she continues, "It's a toy, like, I don't know, for kids? My sister had them when we were yay-high." She snorts. "With all your clothes on you look like this sad floppy beanie baby that needs a good hug. You'll see your husband before you know it."

Your face flushed. "I'm not - we -,"

She hoots, smacking the steering wheel with her dry laugh. "I know, Phil always yammers on about you like you're this fantastic woman. So I just had to be the one to pick you up." She takes her hand from the wheel, and holds it out to you. "I'm Nat."

"________." You shake her palm. When you have your hand out of hers, you notice it smells faintly of gasoline and peaches after touching. "When will I see him again?"

Nat pulls the wheel, steering impossibly fast into a small lane way. "I'm not the leader, but if I were Rogers, say, a week. Stark, three weeks." She gives you a wan smile. "But staying with us, you'll hardly miss him once you meet Clint. Hey! Clint is Phil's nephew, you've got to bunk up!"

---

He's never seen you so still in your life; not even when you sleep. Fitzsimmons said it was something to do with dreams; it was just a part of you and your powers, and it made you constantly move. Phil guessed it was part of the packaged deal of constantly creating energy; it made you the most active of his agents, the smartest besides his science duo. But seeing you here, in the coma, he had to tell himself you weren't sleeping. It was induced. It had to be. 

Melinda had said you'd been injected with something the H. Y. D. R. A. agents had been working on - Intel said it was a reducer, or a blocker. Something which stopped your natural abilities from working. Something which made your constantly moving form still, and become encased in yourself. They had a dialysis machine working, but would it be enough?

He'd never been able to tell you how he felt. 

---

It was a week; you've met everyone; Stark and Rogers, the leaders, who wore armour which was a mixture of fireman uniforms. In fact, that was what mostly all the gang wore; after all, it was after the end of the world, and it wasn't like there were still factories and places selling on-demand clothes. Clint taught you how to always win at Blackjack, and talked often of his wife and kids (it wasn't until Sam told you they'd passed away in one of the nuclear air strikes you realised how sad it was). Nat had been cut off from returning to Russia after her passport had been pulled, and took to the underground business of spying. Sam had been a soldier, but after seeing what the country was doing, ran away just in time as his squadron had been targeted by the leader for "treason". 

A week, a week of laying in your bunk, hoping for Phil. Waiting for Phil. Wishing all the wishes you could -

"Do you ever think when you're sleeping, people talk to you, and it becomes a part of your dreams?" Tony passed you a cup of something hot. "Telling you to wake up, we need you, come on; or something."

You shrug. "I'm not sure, I've never given it much thought," you whisper, taking a sip of your drink. His face turns dark, shrouded in a dark mist, like he was not human at all. Your heart stutters, the cup falling through your fingers. "What's - what's going on?" you feel your hands throbbing, but the broken cup at your feet has not cut you. 

"She's been away too long," Steve's face was dark with the shadows too, voice not like his own, warping, changing. He sounded like...Leo Fitz? "We're going to need adrenaline, stat." 

You might have read somewhere, that hurting yourself in a dream could trigger waking up. Or maybe that had been from an episode of Supernatural? You drop to the ground, and grab a shard of the mug, and scrunch it within your palm. Your eyes are squeezed shut, trembling. You don't belong here. Not in this world. 

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home..." you whisper.

--- 

Just as the adrenaline is on hand, poised to be shot, Phil watches in disbelief as the heart monitor races, and at once, you are sitting in the bed, eyes wide, wild, one palm scrunched as if crushing something within it. His jaw loosens, heart running alongside your own.

"There's no place like home," you whisper. 

Slowly, you see Phil, but without acknowledging your superior officer, you see the science duo Fitzsimmons and thank them, muttering something about their words triggering you to kick start your own awakening. At once, he notices that you're becoming more and more fidgety in the bed; a small smile finds its way upon his lips.

"I - we should leave you two alone," Jemma Simmons tugged at Leo's sleeve, dragging the curly haired young man with her from the hospital booth aboard The Bus. 

Phil watched as your fist released, your heartbeat evened to a natural pattern, natural for you and your changed anatomy after the accident; he'd been there when the offshore base had breached, and you'd been left inside as if for dead, shocked by 7, 000 volts inside the laboratory where your experiment had gone sideways. Phil had loved you before that, and he loved you still. 

"Sir. I'm - I should have been more aware of my place in the mission," you address your superior, head lowered. 

He shakes his, edging his chair closer to the bed, taking your hand in his own. "It's not your fault. I really should have equipped you all better to deal with the enemy. But I'm here for a more selfish reason than to see my best agent's improving health," he admits.

You're puzzled, but instead of questioning it, you speak of what's on your mind. "I dreamed when I was under - I'm not sure if that's normal, for comas, or just for my condition," you tell him, voice low, "But the world was over, and ended, and we were still fighting the good fight. Sir." 

"The team?" he wondered. "The team were fighting?"

You shake your head. "You, sir. And I. The members from the Avengers Initiative were there. I know it was a dream, it was clearly so, quite exaggerated. But...sir, it made me realise something about us. I've known you for ten years; longer than I can say of any other of my friends. And in all of that time, Phil, you've been the best person I've known, gone to hell and back, and still rose to occasions simpler men couldn't have." Your praise leaves his cheeks rosy. "Sir, I know it's inappropriate, but I have feelings for you. Sir."

He breathes out, a breath he's been holding for years now. Slowly, he gives your hand a squeeze, and replies, "It's not inappropriate if the feelings are mutual, Agent ________."

[a-themockingbirdsings]

Glad You Made It || Bobbi & Phil

@agentrpcoulson

She was so glad they had raided that hospital pharmacy not too long ago. ��She couldn’t imagine doing the procedure without morphine, the shock would certainly have killed him.  She had sutured what she could, and cauterised what she couldn’t -- she was a biologist, not a surgeon -- and from the smell of the latter, she knew that she would never, ever eat pork again.  She now understood the firefighter she had dated once so much better.

That was two days ago, his lost blood had been replenished with some from their supply, and she had him on a saline drip to keep him hydrated until he came to.  Phillip Coulson was not going to let a little thing like a “zombie” bite and what now constitutes as a battlefield amputation take him down, Bobbi was sure of that.  She checked his vitals, over the course of Phil’s unconsciousness, Bobbi had been administering morphine on a regular basis to manage his pain.  When -- and she meant when -- he woke up, she didn’t want him to be in pain.  She checked her watch, it wasn’t time for another dose just yet.  She was about to move onto some work when she noticed him stirring, the first movement she had seen him make since she knocked him out before the procedure.

[lillianfromaccounting]

Waiting Too Long (Ch. 8)

Fanfic to NSYNC’s Greatest Hits album as part of @mrs-squirrel-chester‘s fanfic album challenge.

All tags and warnings are on the Waiting Too Long Master List page.

Ch 8. Gone (word count: 1,588)

Song written by Justin Timberlake & Wade Robson

Sam knocked on the door, waking Maria.

“I brought some lunch,” he said, holding up a tray of food.

“Hey, thanks.” She straightened up in her chair, positioning the hospital table in between them with her right hand; her left arm was in a sling. 

“Have you been outside? It’s a gorgeous first day of spring,” he said.

“I went for a walk around the park this morning,” she replied.

“That’s good!” Sam encouraged.

“He’s still the same,” she said, touching Steve’s arm. He lay peacefully on the hospital bed, machines hissing and beeping quietly around him.

“I know,” Sam nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know,” Maria looked away, “but I still feel helpless. There’s nothing I can do to help him heal.”

“Everyone’s doing their best,” Sam said.

“But is it enough?”

“It has to be,” he said.

There’s a thousand words that I could say To make you come home Oh, seems so long ago you walked away Left me alone

Steve opened his eyes. The room looked sterile, reminded him of the hospital. “Yes, folks you heard it here first. Branch Rickey, the president and general manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers has signed Jackie Robinson to their international league club, the Montreal Royals. The international league has not had a black player since…” Steve looked around the room and saw the radio. “You’re awake.” Steve sat up at the sound of the familiar accent.

“Peggy? What–what happened?” Steve searched her eyes for answers.

“You did it,” she said. “You destroyed Red Skull and the tesseract. It took Howard almost six months, but we found you in the Arctic. You were nearly frozen over.”

“You kept searching, after all this time?”

She took his hand in hers. “Of course. You owe me a dance.”

I remember what you said to me You were acting so strange and maybe I was too blind to see That you needed a change

“I now pronounce you Mister and Missus Steven Grant Rogers. You may kiss the bride,” Colonel Phillips said.

Before Steve even lifted Peggy’s veil, she tugged on his uniform, pulling him into her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and fell into her kiss.

Was it something I said To make you turn away? To make you walk out and leave me cold

Steve lay on a checkered blanket on a grassy field, basking in the warmth of the afternoon sun. Peggy leaned against him, running her hand through his hair.

“Daddy! Daddy!” a little blonde boy ran up to them. “Look what Uncle Howard brought me!”

“What is it Jamie?” Steve asked, ruffling his son’s hair. “It’s a baseball bat signed by Babe Ruth!”

“That must have cost a fortune,” Peggy said.

“I’m going to go play with Tony,” Jamie said. “He has a new invention he wants to try out.”

“Tony?” Something about the mention of Howard’s son made Steve uneasy.

“And Maria wants you to wake up now,” Jamie said.

If I could just find a way To make it so that you were right here But right now.

Steve woke up in another hospital bed. The sun was low on the horizon. A dark haired woman stood in the doorway, talking to someone on the other side.

“Peggy?” Steve asked.

Maria turned around and gasped. “Steve! You’re awake!” She rushed to his side and squeezed his left hand, blinking back tears. Bruce walked over to his other side and checked Steve’s vitals.

“Who–who are you?” Steve asked. “Where’s my wife, Peggy?”

Maria choked back a sob. Natasha came in and quickly escorted her out of the room.

“Captain Rogers, I’m Dr. Bruce Banner. How are you feeling?”

I’ve been sitting here Can’t get you off my mind I’ve tried my best to be a man and be strong I drove myself insane Wishing I could touch your face But the truth remains You’re gone

Bucky wheeled Steve to the outdoor patio, overlooking a high school baseball field. They all agreed that it was probably best to let Steve recover in somewhat familiar settings, so Tony bought a co-op building in Brooklyn and gave them several floors. Having Bucky around was a tremendous help in re-assimilating Steve back to the modern day. Some memories came quicker than others and Sam was there to fill in the gaps that Bucky had missed. But even Bucky couldn’t soften the blow of the news of Peggy’s death and Steve’s attendance at a funeral he didn’t remember.

I don’t wanna make excuses, baby Won’t change the fact that you’re gone But if there’s something that I could do Won’t you please let me know?

The memories of a family life with Peggy were still so fresh that Steve couldn’t accept that they were figments of his imagination. He had even read up on Peggy’s life, got reacquainted with the Sousa children and grandchildren, but nothing filled the void. Days blended into each other and with no purpose, Steve didn’t bother to keep track. He only ate if Bucky and Sam harped on him and groomed when he absolutely had to, which was usually for Nat and Maria’s weekly visits. Bit by bit, memories would come back to him, but he questioned whether they were real or just his mind playing tricks on him again.

The time is passing so slowly now Guess that’s my life without you and maybe I could change my every day But baby I don’t want to So I’ll just hang around and find some things to do To take my mind off missing you and I know in my heart You can’t say that you don’t love me too Please say you do

Bucky walked into Avengers Tower and hit the elevator button for his floor. When the doors opened, he was surprised to see Maria walk out with a rolling luggage.

“Hey Maria! You haven’t been by in a few weeks,” Bucky greeted. “Where ya headed?”

“Coulson could use a hand, so I offered. It’s not like they really need me around here anyway. Pepper and JARVIS have everything under control,” Maria replied. “Good to see you, Barnes.”

He stopped her before she walked through the door.

“He’s going to remember you. All those care packages that you put together are really helping,” Bucky said. “Dr. Banner and T’Challa’s team are pretty sure his memories are all still there. He just needs time to process them. It’s like me. The memories eventually all come back.”

Maria nodded.

“Don’t leave without saying bye to him, please,” Bucky pleaded.

Oh, what will I do If I can’t be with you Tell me where will I turn to Baby where will I be Now that we are apart Am I still in your heart? “Steve, you should shower and put on some fresh clothes,” Bucky said. “We’re having visitors later.”

“Natasha already visited on Sunday. It’s Tuesday,” Steve protested.

“Yes, and we used to have a tradition where we ordered pizzas and watched movies on Tuesdays,” Bucky said. “With Maria. Do you remember her?”

“Agent Hill,” Steve recited blandly. “She handles Tony’s operations.”

“Yes,” Bucky said. “She’s also a friend. A very close friend. You two were–good friends. On and off the field.”

Steve stared at Bucky blankly. “She hasn’t been by in a while.”

The doorbell rang.

“That must be Maria with the pizza. At least go change into something clean,” Bucky insisted.

Baby why don’t you see? That I need you here with me

Movie night was every bit as awkward as Maria had expected. Natasha, Bruce, and Betty joining them did nothing to alleviate the heaviness in the air. It was obvious to her that Steve really wanted nothing to do with movie night.

Been sitting here Can’t get you off my mind I’ve tried my best to be strong

“Well that’s a cliffhanger if I ever saw one!” Bucky said enthusiastically. “Ok, quick bathroom break and then we’ll start The Return of the King!”

“Bucky, thanks for putting all of this together, but I really should get going,” Maria said, slipping her trench coat on. “I’ve got an early flight and I still have a few things to pack.”

“But–but you can’t leave now! This is the best one!” Bucky stalled.

“I’ve seen it,” Maria said. “With you. I know how it ends. But thank you.” She gave Bucky a hug and a peck on the cheek. “For everything.” She bid her farewells to the rest of the gang.

“You take care of yourself out there,” Natasha said. “I don’t have time to go save your ass.”

“I’m pretty sure you still owe me a few times,” Maria said, forcing a smile. “Take care, Captain Rogers,” she held her hand out and Steve shook it.

“Good luck, Agent Hill,” Steve mustered.

I drove myself insane Wishing I could touch your face But the truth remains You’re gone.

The gang waited by the door while Maria called for the elevator. When the doors opened, the last person she had expected to see stood behind them.

“Maria? Maria Hill? Oh my god, it’s been like what, almost a year? Fancy running into you here! This is my wife, Tracy. Tracy, this is Maria, she works with the Avengers!”

Steve’s ears burned at the familiar male voice.

Maria got into the elevator and as the doors closed, Steve stole a peek over Bucky’s shoulders.

“Fedor?” the name rolled off Steve’s tongue.