#philip hamilton the second | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astralaffairs · 3 months ago

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put a ring on it 06

title: put a ring on it 06 pairing: philip hamilton x reader words: 15k warnings: gratuitous smut, daddy kink a/n: this is the last part! excepting maybe an epilogue. we'll see on that one. i hope you enjoy it, and it feels very strange for me to be finally finishing this after 6 years. desc: You’ve never liked Philip Hamilton, and you've always assumed the feeling has been mutual. But when you’re roped into pretending to be his girlfriend for a family reunion, you feel all your truths beginning to melt away and find them instead taking form in his smile. tags: @beepbeepstop @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @tf2germanvillain @ela-ena @abundant-stars @heytheredee-lilah @katierpblogg @thisshitfucks @celyndavies @quixoticallydelusional @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @yxseminx @sadhwstudent @aiifandomsunite @loonaynay @valleryhyde @lxncelot @checkurwindow @katierpblogg @alievans007@nyxie75 @ii-moonlight-ii @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @elegantbutedgy @maxi-ride @moose-on-the-l00se @itshaileyn @someinsanefangirl @theirishhufflepuff @golddiggs-x @drreamhugs @sillyteecup @notebookgirl30 @marvelouslyemily @checkurwindow @kmsmedine

“What do you mean, you kissed him?”

“I know.” You were in Philip’s room then, calling Patsy for the second time that afternoon. You cringed, pinching the bridge of your nose. As far as you were concerned, the world had been turned entirely on its head since you last spoke with her. “It just… I don’t know; it all happened so fast. I have so much to tell you.”

You recounted your conversation with Peggy, the debacle with your “engagement,” Philip’s reaction to it, and finally, when you found yourself alone with him up in his bedroom, holding him tightly, kissing him softly. It had been five hours since you last called her.

————

EARLIER

At first, he didn’t kiss you back.

When your lips met his, he froze — his embrace was tense, his body rigid against yours as he processed what you’d done, but it was within a moment that he was responding to your touch. He pulled you closer with the hand at the small of your back, and he held you gently, savoring the feeling of your body. That was when you realized what you’d done.

You pulled back abruptly when his tongue brushed against your lower lip, and your eyes were wide. Your words were caught in your throat; you were struggling to keep from choking on them as you pushed yourself off of him, scrambled off of his lap, and his hand was still hovering where your head had been, grasping at the cold air where your warm skin retreated from. His brow was furrowed as he watched you.

“I…” You trailed off, your attempts to speak coming out as stuttered, breathy syllables. “Fuck. I… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have… fuck.”

“Wait, Y/N, don’t—” But you were already standing, fixing your dress where it’d bunched up around your waist and making your way to the door. “Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, Philip, but I can’t…” You trailed off, trying to find the words, but you let out a frustrated huff, shaking your head as you left.

“Hey, c’mon, wait.” You were still scolding yourself as he went after you, followed you down the staircase. When you neared the bottom of the stairs, his family was hovering — not waiting for you, but within earshot. Philip grabbed you by the arm. “Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about." His hold on your bicep was gentle, and you didn't struggle to pull away from his grip. You scoffed, cursing yourself inaudibly as you continued down.

“Y/N.” He had paused behind you, but when you didn’t stop, he sighed heavily, and his footsteps were hardly audible over the noise from his family as he hurried after you. He didn't take long to catch up to you, and your teeth clenched when he reached you, walking alongside you with a hand at the small of your back. "What the hell just happened?" he asked urgently.

"A mistake," you insisted, turning your head hardly enough so that he could hear you.

"Then why did you do it?"

You ignored him entirely as one of his relatives caught you by the arm, congratulating you in passing on your engagement, and you offered her a smile in return, squeezed her forearm affectionately. Philip was still staring down at you, visibly annoyed.

"Y'know, if we're gonna pull off this whole 'engaged' thing, you've gotta start acting more like my fiancé." You glanced back with an eyebrow raised.

He huffed. "Sorry if there's something else on my mind right now."

"Just don't let your family see," you told him in a sing-song voice as you caught sight of Georges approaching the pair of you.

“Hey, now there’s the happy couple.” His grin was broad as he approached the pair of you, and Philip forced a smile when Georges nudged his arm. “See, Will didn’t mess things up too bad for you. Everyone’s elated.”

You laughed, and you could only hope that he couldn’t tell that it was strained. “Thanks, Georges. Now we just have to worry about everyone nagging us to set a wedding date.”

“Oh, don’t sweat it. They’re just excited.” He raised an eyebrow, though, fixing his attention on Philip. “But I’m not gonna pretend not to be a little offended that someone hasn’t asked me to be his best man.”

“I’ll get around to it.” Despite his smile, the tension in Philip’s voice was obvious. Georges furrowed his brow.

“Is it really bothering you that much that William spilled?” he asked. “Listen, it was an accident, and—”

“I’m not mad at Will,” he cut Georges off abruptly, and you sighed. “But thanks for your concern.”

Georges pursed his lips, glancing between the two of you — apparently the pair of you weren’t playing off the events of the past few minutes as well as you would’ve hoped. After a moment of silence, Georges said, “Right. Anyway, uh, congrats, you two. I'm gonna go join Emilie outside; I guess I'll see you in a bit?"

"I, actually, am gonna go grab a jacket from my bag. It's gotten cooler out as it's gotten later." You were quick to respond, and Philip raised an eyebrow when you rested a hand on his arm, glanced to him with a strained smile. "But please, go ahead without me. I'll join you in a few."

"No, that's okay. I'll come back up with you." Philip's tone was firm, and you pressed your lips together. You were certain your discomfort was obvious, but you still had to keep up appearances.

"Really, I insist. I'll meet you back down here." Your bright smile didn't meet your eyes as you stared back up at Philip, daring him to turn this into a fight in front of Georges. He just watched you for a moment, eyeing the tension in your stare and the strain in your shoulders. Even your hand on his arm was shaky. He glanced back at Georges. He looked down at you.

"You sure that's what you want?"

"Just give me a minute. I'll be back."

He did not watch you as though he believed you'd be back in a minute. "Fine."

"Alright." Georges broke the standoff between you as he clapped a hand on Philip's shoulder, and the tension between you shattered at once as his focus was shifted. "Wanna grab some drinks? Cooler's on the porch."

Philip nodded before glancing back at you. “We’ll see you soon.”

————

That was the last thing he’d said to you before you shut yourself away in his room once more. You gave Patsy the play-by-play, and there was no doubt that you’d been gone more than just a minute.

"Holy Hell, Y/N. That… that's insane," she said, and you sighed. "Where are you now? Is everyone still around, or has most of his family gone home by now?"

"I'm in his room. A lot of them are still downstairs. I don’t have much time before someone comes looking for me, either — I told them all I was just up here getting a sweater."

"Why the hell are you in his room? Are you waiting for him?" she asked. "If you're calling me, are you sure you're ready to talk to him?"

"No, I know I'm not," you groaned. "But I don't have anywhere else to go. This is where I'm sleeping this weekend, so I don’t have any space to myself."

“Then you’d better figure something out fast.”

“I know, I know.” You sat down on the end of his bed with a huff. “But… I still don’t know how I feel about all this. Or how I feel about him. I don't know what I want."

“I think it's time to figure it out,” she said dryly. You didn’t respond, and after a moment, she asked, “Do you… regret kissing him?”

“I don’t know that, either,” you answered hesitantly.

“D’you regret running off after you kissed him?”

“God, no. I needed to — still need to — sort out how I was feeling.” You flopped onto your back on the bed as you spoke, holding your forehead. “I feel guilty about it, though. Philip obviously wanted to talk through what happened earlier, but I couldn't do it when my head was so scrambled."

"Y/N, for what it's worth, keep in mind that you called me earlier today in a panic because you thought you were crushing on him," she reminded you, "and now you kissed him. And he wants to talk to you about whatever’s going on between you. Do you really still not know what you want?"

"I…" Your voice faltered as you tried to reply. “I know what I’m feeling, but I don’t know what I want. I’m scared, Patsy. He was just trying to comfort me earlier; what if kissing him was totally out of line?”

“Did he kiss you back?”

You pursed your lips. “Yeah.”

“So then who broke it off?”

“...Me.”

“Are you fucking serious right now, Y/N?” You winced at the annoyance in Patsy’s tone. “It’s been, what, five hours since we talked? Earlier, you were telling me that you thought you were only there to make his ex jealous. Now you’re telling me that even after kissing him, having him kiss you back, and you having had to have been the one who broke it off, you still don’t think he wants you? You still don’t think that’s the entire reason you’re there this weekend?”

“I…” You swallowed. “I guess so.”

“That’s fucking stupid,” she snapped. “I told you earlier that you needed to talk to him about how you were feeling, and I’m gonna say the same thing now. Don’t call me back until you’ve communicated.”

“What? Patsy, I don’t—” Your jaw went slack when the dial tone sounded, signifying that the line had dropped. She’d really had the nerve to hang up on you. And after all you’d been through.

You threw your phone onto your bed with an angry huff, and you dropped your hands onto the mattress beside you, groaning loudly.

“So that’s the whole story.” A soft voice at the door to Philip’s bedroom interrupted your pouting, however — immediately, you were shooting back up to where you sat, propped on your hands with your eyes wide. It was his sister Angelica who stood in the doorway, watching you with her arms folded. “I should’ve known you were too good to be true.”

“Angelica,” you said breathlessly. You were frozen to the spot in which you sat. She sighed, walking into his room to join you on the end of his bed. “How much of that did you hear?”

“All of it,” she admitted. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when you started talking about how, as you put it, ‘all of this was a sham,’ I kind of couldn’t help myself.”

“Yeah,” you said softly. “I can’t blame you.”

“Can I join you?”

“Sure.” You shifted over, and Angelica took a seat beside you. “I’m guessing you want an explanation.”

“I wouldn’t mind one,” she replied quietly. You nodded.

You gave her the abbreviated version, the gentle one; it felt merciful to omit the parts about your long-standing feud with Philip.

“I’m just here doing him a favor,” you concluded weakly, and she pursed her lips.

“Still?”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I did hear that entire call,” she reminded you. Of course. “You kissed him, apparently."

"I…" You couldn't deny it. "Yeah, but… I don't know. It's complicated."

"It sounds complicated," she granted, "but I don't think you're just here doing him a favor anymore."

Your sigh was shaky. “I don’t know what you want me to say," you admitted.

"Do you care about Philip?"

"Of course." The question had you taken aback; your answer was a reflex.

"Then you should be downstairs talking to him instead of hiding up here making phone calls," she said bluntly, and your stare was bewildered. "The least you could do is have an adult conversation about what happened. Philip cares about you, y'know."

"What makes you say that?" The look Angelica gave you was disbelieving, but you didn’t think the question was out of left field. By then, it'd been reinforced by so many of his family members that you knew this was a common understanding, but you couldn't fathom why.

"We've been hearing about you in this house since you showed up as Philip's new coworker. At first it was just in passing as an update about what was going on in the office, that somebody new had joined his department, but you became a recurring character pretty quickly.” The day you’d started that job felt like a lifetime ago, both a different reality and a different version of you who’d walked into that office: recently widowed and sleepwalking through your daily life. Of course, at the time, Philip had known none of that. “I don’t know where this lie started, but Philip’s fond of you. He lights up when he’s talking about you.”

“I think he just finds me entertaining to torment,” you corrected her, but she shook her head.

“It’s always been more than that.” Her insistence was as though it were obvious, immediately apparent to everyone in his life other than you. “If you care about him at all, I think you owe him a conversation about all this.”

All you could do was nod. You wished she’d spare you the lecture, but she was right, even if you didn’t want to accept what that meant for you.

“You’re a good sister, y’know,” you said after a moment, and she smiled.

“Actually, I just like being privy to drama.”

————

You went down with her after that to find Philip — you didn’t yet know what you had to say to him, but you could at least afford him the reassurance that you weren’t avoiding him. After all, he’d done nothing wrong (if you could look past the years he’d spent spinning a lie about your workplace romance).

You found him settled in with Georges and Emilie in the midst of a heated debate over whether sushi is seafood, and he and Georges appeared to be getting worked up to a point where you couldn’t decipher which side either of them was on.

“Y/N, thank God, maybe you can settle this.” Georges was the first to notice your arrival, and your eyebrows shot up. Philip turned quickly upon hearing Georges address you.

“Hey, you came back.” Philip’s voice was soft, and you smiled as you met his eyes.

“Yeah, what did I miss?”

“Is sushi seafood?” Georges' loud voice broke any interaction you were having with Philip, and you raised your eyebrows as you looked over at him, pulling up a chair beside Philip.

“I mean, like, it doesn’t have to have fish in it. Can it be seafood if it's made without food from the sea?” you said.

“That’s what I’m saying,” an exasperated Philip piped up, and Georges groaned.

“Y’know, I hate that there’s someone here to take his side now,” he said seriously, shooting you an exhausted look. “You’re gonna be more trouble to my relationship with him than you’re worth.”

“I’m sure you must be devastated,” you replied dryly, but Emilie smiled.

“I’ve been needing someone to help me keep these two in check, so believe me when I say that I’m thrilled, at least,” she interjected. You still weren’t sure how to respond to people talking to you as if you were a new member of the family.

“Anyway, Philip, can we see your engagement ring now that the secret’s out? I just know it’s gonna be flashy,” Georges said, and Philip offered a weak smile.

“Nah, not right now.” He spared you a hesitant glance. “I don’t have it on me.”

“Where is it? You shouldn’t be leaving your engagement ring just anywhere; it’s too valuable for that.” There was concern in Emilie’s voice.

“It’s safe; don’t worry. We just packed the rings away before coming here,” he said. “I’ll show you both some other time.”

“C’mon, we wanna see it now,” Emilie said. “Can’t you just go get it? Is it upstairs with your bags?”

Philip sighed. “Emilie—”

"We'll go find it later tonight and bring it around tomorrow, alright?" you cut in, and Philip's eyebrows jumped.

"We will?"

You shrugged. "We may as well, if people are curious to see it. I think it's somewhere in one of my bags upstairs; it shouldn't take long to find."

"If you're sure," he acquiesced. You did have a ring for him, if nothing else; you just weren’t sure it would fit him.

By then, the sun was beginning to set, and you were glad that you grabbed yourself a sweater after all on your previous trip upstairs. As Philip and his friends sat and talked, you were content to mostly just listen — you didn’t have any input to offer on the stories from college you were sure they were lamenting for the thousandth time. Angelica joined you all not long after, bringing you a beer you didn’t ask for but, according to her, “you looked like you might need.” Georges and Emilie took the comment in jest, picking on Philip as your grateful gaze wandered back to Angelica. She winked.

Somewhere in the yard, one of Philip’s relatives had lit a bonfire, and after more of the family came outside, you found yourself migrating toward it with Philip in tow. He’d suggested the relocation, noticing your shivering. You’d acquiesced easily. That was how you found yourself beside him on a picnic blanket, melting into yourself where you sat with your knees folded up to your chest as fatigue ebbed at your body. Philip’s younger cousins were roasting marshmallows, and frankly, you would’ve been joining them if you had the energy. However, you were confident that you’d had a longer — and almost certainly more taxing — day than anyone around you, save for Philip. You glanced over at him.

He was watching Eliza Jr. with an amused grin as she tried to fit her small mouth around a s’more, covering the bottom half of her face in chocolate and marshmallow fluff in the process. More graham cracker was going to the grass below her than was staying in her hands, but she looked rather pleased with herself as she shuffled over toward you.

“D’you wanna come roast a marshmallow?” she asked, and it wasn’t until Philip turned to you with an eyebrow raised that you realized she was talking to you. It startled you when his eyes met yours, as though you thought he wouldn’t be able to see you watching him, and it seemed to surprise him nearly as much to see that you had been. Your face was hot when you turned to Eliza.

“I, um… I don’t think so. I’m getting tired, and you’re doing such a good job of it that I wouldn’t wanna take away from your fun.”

She frowned. Apparently your excuse wasn’t good enough for her, but she turned to Philip. “Do you wanna come roast a marshmallow?”

“Not this time, kiddo.” There was a trace of a laugh in his voice as he reached out to wipe a smear of melted chocolate from Eliza’s nose. “Be careful around that fire.”

“Can I roast you a marshmallow?” she asked, and you couldn’t help but smile. She was nothing if not persistent. Philip’s expression mirrored yours.

“I dunno; I think it would be wasted on me. I might head up to bed soon,” he said, and Eliza huffed. He glanced over at you. “You want one, though, princess?”

Eliza’s eyes were wide and hopeful as she looked at you, and you shrugged, your smile endeared. “Yeah, sure, I’ll take one. Thanks, Eliza.”

“You’re welcome. I’m gonna roast you the perfect marshmallow.” She started tottering off back toward the bag of marshmallows before she even finished her declaration, and it made you grin.

“Thanks for being a good sport.” Philip’s voice was soft, and it wasn’t until he spoke that you were quite aware of how close he was beside you. You turned to see him watching Eliza, leaned back on his hands with his legs outstretched on the blanket. “She loves when people let her make things for them. Inherited the family people-pleaser trait, I guess.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What, does it skip a generation?”

He laughed, and the sound was quiet and warm. “Man, can’t even go easy on me after the day you’ve put me through?”

His tone was light, but it held residual bitterness, and your smile faltered. You couldn’t blame him, but the tension in his jaw as the glow from the fire flickered across it had you on guard. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to ruin your weekend with your family.”

He turned his head, and you felt hyper-aware of every twitch of every muscle in your body as he looked over your apologetic expression. “Relax. I know,” he assured you after a moment, looking around at the group. “I can’t be mad, anyway. We both know I kinda bullied you into coming here with me.”

“You didn’t bully me into anything,” you replied, and he pursed his lips. You looked down at your hands. “If I was really that opposed to it, I would’ve just gone on the work trip. It’s not that big a deal.”

“But d’you still think this is the lesser of evils?” There was disbelief in his voice. “I’d guess that you also didn’t expect this weekend to get quite so stressful. I think we both just figured it’d be a funny story to tell when we get back.”

“I can’t deny that,” you admitted, glancing around at the group to determine whether you were within earshot of any of his relatives. “But tomorrow’s our last day here. We don’t have to do this for much longer.”

“And then we can go back to being office neighbors who torment each other on the daily?” he asked, and you huffed.

“Woah, you torment me, not the other way around,” you corrected him, and the look he gave you was skeptical.

“So then all the time you spend nitpicking my habits is just, what, collegial cohabitation?” he asked, and his disbelieving tone made you roll your eyes. “You’re more attentive to my ticks than even my mom's ever been.”

“Maybe if your ticks weren’t obstructing my work day I wouldn’t have to pay such close attention.”

“Please, I’m never in your way.”

“You borrow my pens and never give them back.”

“You steal the coffees that Theo brings me.”

“You don’t even pay for them.”

Your retort elicited a smug smile from him, and he shrugged. “I can’t always help being so charismatic, princess. I won’t apologize for the things people do for me because of my natural charm.”

“Natural charm,” you repeated skeptically. “We both know Theo just has a crush on you. It’s honestly getting to be mean the way you keep entertaining it.”

“Theo has a girlfriend,” he informed you, and your eyebrows shot up. You turned your head to look at him, and he eyed your stunned look with amusement. “I’m not leading her on. She runs the coffee shop around the corner from our office, which is why she always brings an extra latte to work. She doesn’t actually drink coffee, but apparently her girl likes making it for her.”

“You’re making that up,” you accused him, but he shook his head.

“You’d know this if you actually ever talked to her,” he said, and you frowned.

“I thought she didn’t like me. She never even says ‘good morning.’”

“She thinks the same about you,” he said, and as your pensive gaze wandered, he went on, “When you started at our office, all you seemed to want to do was put your head down and work. You didn’t give anyone the time of day. I think it just intimidated a lot of people.”

“Yeah, well, I’d recently had my life as I knew it blown to bits. It turns out work is a good distraction when you’re recently widowed.”

“I didn’t know that then,” he said softly, “but it does explain some things. I know I didn’t always treat you the best when you joined staff, and I’m sorry if it made all that harder.”

“Yeah, what was all that about?” Both your and his eyes followed Eliza Jr. across the yard as she stuffed her face with the marshmallow she’d purported to be roasting for you. “We got off to such a bad start, but upon further reflection, I’ve decided you’re not just an egoistic asshole, so what happened? Was it some weird office hazing?”

He sighed. “I just didn’t know what to do when you showed up. Some big shot up-and-comer out of Columbia giving me the silent treatment for eight hours a day. Some part of me figured you thought you were better than me, and another part of me thought you might be right about it.”

“Seriously?” Your brow was furrowed as you looked over at him. “It was the start of my second job out of college, and I was working ridiculously long hours because I was afraid of being alone with my thoughts.”

“Y’know that’s still why Susan pawns my workload off onto you?” he asked. “I thought you were trying to show me up, and she ended up convinced that you were just more reliable.”

“I should start slacking now that she’s stuck with me,” you mused, and he cracked a grin.

“Maybe I’ll finally go back to being top dog around our office then,” he quipped, but you couldn’t find much humor in it.

“So, what, you were just mean to me because you were afraid I’d upstage you? It was just some high-school mean-girl insecurity bullshit?”

“Honestly, it was more because I thought you didn’t like me,” he said. “You barely said a word to me, and when you did, it was usually criticism. You greeted me in the mornings by reminding me that I was late. I remember asking Georges for advice about you, and he told me that if I acted even colder, you’d warm up ‘cause you’d see I wasn’t messing around. I believed that for longer than I’m proud of.”

“That’s the advice Georges gave you?” There was disbelief in your voice, and he just nodded. “He mentioned when we were at his bar that he’d given you some bad advice when I joined our office. When he said that, I wasn’t imagining that he was the reason our working relationship was so bad from the get-go.”

“I took the advice, so I think I’m as much to blame,” he admitted, and you shrugged. “When I started bringing you coffee in the mornings a few weeks later, I was trying to make good ‘cause I realized it was only making things worse.”

“Then I just thought you were hitting on me.”

“I was.” Your eyes widened, but his tone was casual, and he chuckled. “I get in hindsight that it was in poor taste. I think I’m starting to see why you thought I was a nuisance for so long.”

“What d’you mean, ‘thought’?” Your words were sardonic, but he couldn’t take offense at the dry quip. Despite the amusement in his smile, he looked you over with disbelief.

“When are we gonna get past this whole routine of you pretending to hate me?” he asked. You weren’t sure you were comfortable with the audible sincerity in the question; you didn’t know how to answer it. “It’s been a weird day. We both know that. But I think we’re past the point where you can claim you don’t want anything to do with me.”

Your throat was tight, and you were afraid to speak. “We shouldn’t talk about this when your whole family’s around.”

“We’re out of earshot.”

“We should be cautious.”

“Or maybe we should just go up to bed,” he suggested. You swallowed. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” you acquiesced, your breathing shaky, “I guess it is.”

————

You lingered by the fire a bit longer before going upstairs. Eliza Jr. had made another round through the crowd, and she was giving out graham crackers as if she were bestowing awards (“it is an honor and a privilege,” she told you with no further explanation before repeating the same to Philip). You helped pack up the blankets that had been left as Philip’s younger siblings had gone one by one up to bed, and you wished Philip hadn’t been so quick to give you an extra set of hands. You’d have been lying if you said you didn’t offer to do it as a stalling tactic.

You walked together in silence back to the house and upstairs, and he took the blankets you carried to pack them into his family’s linen closet. As you returned to his room, you weren’t sure what to say. You sat on the side of his bed you’d been sleeping on and began to remove your earrings.

“So, that engagement ring you told Georges I have…” You glanced back at him with your eyebrows raised. He leaned back against his desk in the corner of his room, hands in his pockets. “Please tell me that wasn’t a bluff?”

You sighed. “No, no, I have my late husband’s. I didn’t think this through very far, so we’re just gonna have to hope it fits you.”

You withdrew the pendant of your necklace from beneath your dress, turning away from him as you looked down at yourself, but he was silent another moment. You pulled your hair aside and started fiddling with the chain’s clasp. After a moment, you huffed and glanced back at him. "Could I have a hand?"

He was watching you bewildered, and his expression made you furrow your brow. “What?”

“You sure you’re comfortable with me wearing your late husband’s ring?” His voice was soft, apprehensive, and you pursed your lips.

“It’s fine,” you said after a moment. Your voice lacked conviction, and when Philip knit his concerned brow, you gave him a weak smile. “I’m serious. He always loved a good con; he would’ve been in full support.”

“Of his wife loaning his ring out to some other guy?”

“Only as part of an elaborate hoax,” you said. He appeared tepid. “Are you helping me with the clasp or not?”

“...Yeah. Sure.” Though his words were hesitant, you turned back toward his nightstand where you sat, sweeping your hair back over one shoulder. You stood when he reached you, turned away from him, but you visibly flinched when his hands first brushed the back of your neck to take the clasp between his fingers. His movements stalled. “I can just tell my family my ring is being resized or something if this is all too much for you.”

He stood close behind you; though his voice was quiet, its low thrum felt heavy in the proximity. You shook your head.

“That’s okay. I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't alright with it," you assured him. When he didn’t answer, you turned your head to look back at him. His brow was furrowed. "I trust you with it, Philip. Just help me with the necklace, alright?"

"If you're sure." His voice was little more than a whisper, and his hands were gentle with the delicate chain you wore as you turned back around. A beat passed, and he let out a frustrated huff that tickled the hairs on your neck. You shivered. "This clasp doesn't wanna come quietly."

"You might have to wiggle it a bit if it's stuck. Don't worry about breaking it; it's strong."

"I'll do my best," he said. Another moment passed as you both waited patiently for the necklace to come undone, and you looked down at your feet.

"I really am sorry about today, y'know."

“Do you regret it?” His response was immediate, and as you felt the movement of his hands slow against the skin of your neck, your necklace going still, you were confident he was stalling.

“Which part?”

“You know which part.” The impatience in his voice made you sigh. “Do I really have to say it? Or can we finally stop pretending that things haven’t been weird between us all weekend?”

“It hasn’t been weird all weekend.”

“If everything was normal before that, why did you kiss me?”

The question was pointed and blunt, and you could feel your heart rate pick up. Philip slid your necklace off, taking both sides of it in one hand and reaching around you to set it on your (his) bedside table. You leaned away from him as he did so, giving him room to take a step toward the table, but when he did, he didn’t take a step back. He turned to you with his eyebrows raised, and your stomach turned as you found yourself trapped between him and the bed.

“Here, we should see if the ring fits,” you said, voice unsteady as you broke his gaze, reaching around him for the necklace.

“You’ve gotta stop deflecting,” he said impatiently, and you ignored it as you slid the ring off of the necklace’s chain.

“Gimme your hand; I need you to try it on.” You held the ring up to him between your trembling fingers. He eyed you with exasperation.

“Fine.” You inhaled sharply when his steady hand came to cover yours, holding it in the small space between you to still your grip on the ring, and he slid the ring finger of his other hand through it effortlessly. He barely spared it a glance as his tired stare bordered on irritation. “It fits.”

“Yeah.” The word in your anxious, high-pitched voice was barely a breath.

“Now answer me,” he said, raising his eyebrows expectantly. “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen.”

You couldn’t meet his eyes; your gaze was stuck on the perfect fit of the ring around his finger. “I…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know,” was all you could say at first. Your heart was in your throat; you were struggling to speak past it. “I shouldn’t have done it. I was just… I was sad, and you were comforting me, and this is the first time anyone’s felt like home since…” You trailed off with a tired huff, dropping his now ring-clad hand. “I can’t do this right now. It’s late, and I’m not thinking straight, and I don’t know what you want me to say.”

You pushed past him where he had you cornered, and although he didn’t try to stop you, he rolled his eyes. “You can’t keep using that excuse.”

You didn’t look back at him as you walked toward his bathroom, but his words made you frown. “When have I used that excuse?” you asked incredulously.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he postured, “maybe earlier after you kissed me? You’re messing with my head, Y/N, and it sucks.”

“Like you haven’t been messing with mine all weekend?” you shot back, turning on him furiously. “You wanna know why I kissed you? Well, I want to know why you asked me to come here in the first place.”

He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve covered this.”

“No, actually, I don’t know that we have,” you argued. “I poured my heart out to you about my late husband and gave you a full explanation for why I acted how I did when I joined our office, and you haven’t even explained why you needed a fake girlfriend in the first place.”

He sighed. “I just wanted my parents off my back. They were incessant when they thought I was single.”

“Then why didn’t you change your story once they started insisting you bring me home?” you asked. “You could’ve told them we broke up and that you weren’t back to dating yet. Or that you’d met someone else. But instead you blindly agreed to bring me here before you even knew whether I’d be willing to come.”

“I just wanted them to think I was in a stable relationship,” he defended. “I’m their oldest; I’m supposed to have my shit figured out by now. Nobody wants to hear that I’m all alone with no stable plan for my future. You don’t know how much time they spent trying to control my life when they thought I had my options open.”

“Then why me?” you pushed, and he raised an eyebrow. “Why not tell them it was a friend or someone you met on a dating app? What about Henriette? I’m sure she’d be more than happy to play the part of ‘doting girlfriend’ when your family’s around. The way she fawns over you, I’m surprised she didn’t come up with this story first.” Your tone was jeering, and Philip’s eyes were narrow as he looked you over. His jaw was tense, and you were confident you’d hit a sore spot.

“Henriette’s exactly the problem.” His voice was low, and the frustration in his tone made you raise an eyebrow. “Our relationship was terrible, but my entire family kept trying to push me to marry her. Nobody stopped for even a second to consider whether that was what I wanted.”

“Then grow up and tell them,” you bit back. “Even if they adored her, bursting their bubble about what kind of person she is would’ve still been easier than lying to them for two years about a fake relationship.”

“You don’t get it,” he maintained. “My father sees me as his legacy. He worked his whole life so I could settle down and start a family, and Henriette was his ticket to seeing grandkids. When we broke up, he barely talked to me for weeks. We only started talking again when I told my parents I’d found somebody else.”

“But why me?” you reiterated. “You couldn’t have thought that choosing me was going to make your life easier. When we first met, we barely spoke.”

He eyed you with his tongue burrowed into his cheek for a moment. “I did think it was gonna be an easy out.”

“And what the hell made you think that?”

“The office Christmas party,” he said. “That’s about when I told my family I was seeing someone new.”

You furrowed your brow. “What happened that night that made you decide to tell them that?”

“You really don’t remember?” He quirked a brow, and your expression must have been resolutely blank, because after a moment, he sighed, taking a seat back on the side of his bed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew you were drinking that night, and I didn’t exactly get a warm welcome back into the office the next Monday.”

“What happened at the Christmas party?”

“It’s more what happened after we left the Christmas party,” he said, and you frowned.

“What does that mean?” you asked, and you narrowed your eyes as you considered the implication in his words. “I’m sorry, we didn’t hook up, did we?”

His eyes widened at the question, the alarm in your voice. “Jesus, no. You were drunk half out of your mind; what kind of person do you think I am?”

“Don’t act like it’s an insane question. Do you even hear yourself? ‘After we left the party’?” you echoed, and he pursed his lips. “You must know how that sounds.”

“Fine, that’s on me,” he admitted. “We didn’t ‘hook up,’ you dragged me out to, like, three different clubs. You were all over me that night. By the time I managed to get you home, you’d pulled my shirt off of my body so that you could wear it.”

“Oh, please, there’s no way I was ‘all over you,’” you scoffed, mocking his voice. “I do remember talking to you at the party, but the rest of this just sounds like revisionist history.”

“What else do you remember from that night?” he asked, and although his tone was accusatory, the question was sincere. “Anything past leaving the office? Do you even remember leaving?”

You pursed your lips as you considered the question; you didn’t want to admit the answer. “I do remember waking up in a shirt that wasn’t mine to credit card charges from bars in the area. I froze the card, though, ‘cause I thought they were fraud.”

The laugh he huffed out sounded vindicated. "There you go."

"But that doesn't prove any of what you're saying."

"Argue all you want, but this is how I remember it," he said, "I'm just trying to explain why I did what I did. I shouldn't have dragged you into all this, but it also wasn't a plot to make you miserable."

"And it didn't occur to you to just cut it when your dad started insisting you bring me home?"

"If I'd told him we broke up, he would've never believed me about anyone else I dated. I would’ve been expected to go back to Henriette." His gaze was low; you were struggling to stay mad as he explained himself. "They can’t stop talking about it while you’re here; imagine how bad it is when you’re not."

You didn’t respond at first; you couldn’t look at him as his words sat with you, and you couldn’t help but quietly resent everyone who’d told you to communicate with Philip. The silence was heavy, but it felt clear. You walked through Philip’s room back toward your suitcase, looking for something to sleep in.

“God, I feel pathetic,” you huffed quietly as you dug through your clothes. Everything had happened so fast, and you’d made so many assumptions, all of them now seemingly incorrect. “I thought this was all a ploy to make Henriette jealous. It somehow feels worse knowing that I’m actually here because you thought I was pining for you.”

“Hang on, that’s not what I said, either,” Philip defended, and you rolled your eyes.

“You can’t walk this one back after you just insisted that I was throwing myself at you at the office Christmas party,” you said. “Spare me the further humiliation.”

“In all fairness, you came onto me like three hours ago,” he pointed out, and when you turned to meet his eyes with a dead stare, you found him watching you with a small, playful smile. “C’mon, princess, don’t tell me the irony’s lost on you.”

“You didn’t exactly shut me down,” you reminded him pointedly, pajamas-in-hand as you stood.

“No, I didn’t.” You raised your eyebrows, and he shrugged, standing to join you at the end of the bed. “What? You want me to deny it?”

“No, I just… didn’t think you’d be so unapologetic about it.”

“I didn’t think you’d want me to apologize.” He folded his arms as he leaned against the bottom post of his bed. “I didn’t drag you into this lie ‘cause I thought you wanted me. You were all over me at that staff Christmas party, but that’s besides the point.”

"Then what… ?" You trailed off, unable to articulate exactly what it was you wanted to ask. You didn't know what to make of his words.

"I know you haven't missed my friends and family telling you how I talk about you. I've been calling home about you since you joined the office, and it's felt pathetic," he confessed, and the way he spoke so frankly put you on edge. You could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth to a point where you couldn't fathom that he meant what he seemed to. He eyed you hesitantly for a moment. "I felt so dumb doing that that part of me wants to let you keep feeling dumb here for a few more minutes."

"Classy," you commented, and when he laughed, you could feel your face warm.

"Can't help myself," he said. "You kept me sweating bullets all afternoon. I think it would be fair payback."

"That wasn't my greatest move.”

"It scared the shit out of me," he informed you, and you pursed your lips. "A lot’s happened this weekend, but I thought we were at a point where we could finally talk about it."

"I wasn't sure you'd think there was anything worth talking about." Your voice was small.

“Seriously?”

"I figured I was just here to make Henriette jealous. Anything between us was an afterthought.”

“You only met her earlier today. If my plan was just to make her jealous, what about the rest of the weekend?” Your breath stalled as you met his eyes; you were afraid to ask what he meant. You’d been reluctant to assign any meaning to the way he’d sought you out with his family around or the way he spoke to you when nobody was around to hear it. “Not much of the time we spent together was necessary to sell the story that we were dating.”

“We did a pretty good job selling it, though.”

“And then some.” You hadn’t forgotten the way you’d woken up in his arms every morning you spent at his house. You hadn’t missed his excitement for your road trip to his childhood home nor the care he took to make sure you were comfortable at his family dinner. You’d tried to ignore the little touches and passing glances all weekend, but apparently, he knew that you, too, had been keeping score of what was done in private that should have been for show. “I didn’t think I could be any clearer, to be honest. I figured you’d clocked it in the way I seek you out at work, all the time I spend hanging out at your desk.”

“I thought you just found it funny to rile me up.” You shrugged, refusing to acknowledge the heavy implication in his words. It had your heart rate rising; the hand that held your pajamas trembled.

“So you just thought I was an asshole?”

“...Kind of.” You swallowed, and your throat felt tight. He chuckled.

“Looks like Georges was right about me being tactless.”

You wore a small frown when you looked him in the eye, and his gaze was soft as he watched you. His words were heavy with meaning, but the air felt light — it was as though a haze was lifting and you were seeing him clearly for the first time. “What are you saying?”

His smile was melancholy. “You kissed me earlier today, and I thought it meant that something was different. You've gotta have some idea of where I’m coming from when I ask whether I was just in the right place at the right time.”

Your heart was in your throat; you raised your eyebrows. You were sure you looked dumbfounded, but all you felt was sick. “You…?”

“I already feel stupid; don't make me come right out and say it." He raked a hand through his hair as he sighed, and you could only watch him, stunned. "Did it… mean anything? Or were you just looking for comfort?"

Your voice was breathless and weak. “Can’t it be both?”

“That’s such a cop out,” he said, and you sighed.

“I don’t know anymore, Philip; you’ve taken care of me this weekend in a way I never imagined you could, and when everything came crashing down with the truth about my past, I was such a wreck, and it would've been so easy for you to be angry after I was so careless, but you were so gentle with me." You glanced down at the pajamas you were still holding, playing with the fabric between your fingers. You couldn't meet his eyes. "You've been better to me than I've deserved today, and that sucks, because I really had my heart set on hating you when we got back to town."

His smile was soft. “Sorry for making myself so hard to hate.”

“It’s been a real inconvenience.” Though your tone was lighthearted, your nervous gaze was heavy as you looked back at him.

“I think you’ll get over it.” He winked, and you could feel the heat rising from the nape of your neck to the tips of your ears. He looked you over, and a beat passed before he unfolded his arms and took a step toward you, hands in his pockets. “So what now, princess?”

His gaze was confident, expectant as he looked down at you; only the tiny crease in his brow betrayed any crack in his self-assured front. You, however, were a deer in headlights, frozen and sure that this was some kind of trap leading you to meet your maker.

“I don’t know.” You weren’t sure you could force the words from your tongue to form a real answer. You felt faint when he took another step toward you, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“You don’t hate me, apparently, but you’re giving me a whole lot of non-answers.”

“You’re not exactly asking easy questions,” you defended, and he smiled.

“Then let me give you something a little simpler.” Your breath caught when his stare flickered to your lips, lingering long enough that it was unmistakable. “If I tried to kiss you right now, would you stop me?”

Your eyes were wide as they met his, his confident gaze almost imposing in the proximity. But you didn’t move — you didn’t speak, you didn’t back away, and you certainly didn’t stop him. He took another step, and he reached out, brushed a hair away from your face. “Tell me this isn't what you want, and I won’t bring it up ever again.”

“Philip…” You trailed off when his fingertips brushed over the skin of your cheek, and when he closed the space between you, his hand fell to cup your face. The pajamas you held fell lamely from your limp grasp.

“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows, and the look in his eyes was expectant as he lifted your chin up toward him. “C’mon. It’s not like you to go all quiet on me. Where’d all those opinions of yours go?”

“I…” He was holding you at your cheek and your waist, pulling you into him, but your arms were still anchored to your sides. You knew what you wanted. But you didn’t know if you could bring yourself to reach out and grab it— no, grab him.

“Do you want this, or don’t you?” He combed a hand into your hair, his eyes following the motion, and his thumb swept down the side of your jaw. “Because, princess, trust me: I know what I want.”

Words were failing you. The silence between you stretched on, but he didn’t press any further; he waited, and his actions were patient. His hand slid from your waist to the small of your back. His eyes were fixed on your lips, so when you spoke, he couldn’t have missed it.

“Please…”

“Please?” he repeated.

“Please kiss me.” Your voice was no louder than a whisper, and after you said it, his smile widened, but it wasn’t smug. His gaze was soft.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

When he leaned down to kiss you, his lips were gentle, and your hands rose to rest on his chest as he pulled you close. Your eyes fluttered shut as your nose brushed against his, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling at the sound that escaped him when you pulled lightly on his hair. His hands settled low on your waist when you pulled him into yourself.

As you threaded a hand into his hair, the way he handled you grew needier; his grip on you tightened, and his mouth against yours became more insistent. His tongue was in your mouth; he held you by the nape of your neck, and you were doing all you could to keep up with him as his touch became sloppy. He pressed open mouthed kisses down your jawline, and you tilted your head back, enjoying the way his grip on you tightened and his hands migrated to your lower back.

You stumbled backwards as he leaned into you, sucking a hickey into the delicate skin of your neck, and though you knew you should’ve stopped him, you couldn’t bring yourself to. You’d deal with the consequences come morning. He hooked a hand under one of your thighs, pulling your leg up to his waist, and you wrapped it around him, pulling his body closer as he pushed you back against the bedroom wall. Your dress was riding up your thighs, but your exposed skin was hardly a fleeting thought as you pulled his head back up to kiss him on the mouth. That time, his lips were slower. After a long moment, he pulled back to look you in the eye.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” he said, voice breathless, brushing a hair off your forehead, and your chest was heaving.

“Then don’t stop there.” You looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes, and his eyebrows jumped. His hand fell to the side of your head, his thumb brushing over the skin under your ear.

“Really?” Despite the surprise in his voice, he looked far from upset, and you shrugged.

“I mean, as long as you’re amenable,” you said softly, and the tension in his raised eyebrows made you hesitate. “You do want me, don’t you?”

“I do,” he said, but something in his words was tentative, and it made you frown.

“But?” you prodded, and he sighed.

“I need to know if this is a one time thing.” Your eyebrows shot up, and he was quick to continue, “It’s fine if that’s all you want. But I’d rather get on the same page beforehand.”

“I don’t want it to be,” you said. “I don’t know what that means for us going forward, but I don’t want this to be just tonight.”

“First clear answer I’ve gotten today,” he said softly as he leaned in to kiss you once more, and you rolled your eyes. He kissed you hard, shamelessly as you ran your fingers through his hair, and you smiled against his lips. His tongue brushed against yours when his hand ran up your thigh, pushing your dress with it until his fingertips met the lacy material of your panties; though he slid his fingers under their hem, moving toward your inner thigh, his confident lips faltered against yours when you shivered under his touch.

“Can I?” he whispered into your open mouth, and your hand came down to cover his as you sucked softly on his bottom lip. You moved his hand to your center, and you could feel his breath as he inhaled sharply. You released his lip from between yours.

“Please.”

That was all he needed to hear; he ran his hand over your clothed slit, and you tensed, arching against him as your hand ran up his arm. Your breathing was labored when his fingers breached the hem of your panties, and you froze as the fabric pulled at your hips. You squeezed his bicep when his fingertips dipped between your lips, and you dropped your head back against the wall behind you.

“You’re so wet already,” he murmured as he kissed the side of your head.

“I’ve been thinking about having your hands on me for the past hour,” you confessed, and he chuckled.

“The feeling’s mutual.” His slick fingertips circled your clit, and your hips lurched, chasing the feeling of his skin. He only drew back a touch, but the loss of the feeling drew a whimper from your pouted lips, and you rolled your hips down against his hand as you tightened your leg around his waist, pulling him closer. You felt him grin, lips brushing against your ear. “God, you’re needy.”

"Because I need you," you pleaded. "Touch me properly."

“Gladly.” You tensed involuntarily when he rolled your clit against the soft skin of his middle finger, and your breath was caught in your throat, your jaw tight. His touch was alight, and you bit your lip as your hips lurched. “You like that?”

“Mhm.”

“Talk to me, princess. Use your words.” His fingers slid down to your dripping pussy, and you whimpered, tightening your hold on his neck, gripping the collar of his shirt. When he slid two fingers inside you, you gasped, rolling your hips against his hand.

“Fuck,” you breathed as he started thrusting his fingers inside you, and he nipped the skin of your jaw. His other hand lifted the skirt of your dress from your other side, settling at your waist, and as you tried to grind down on him, he pinned your hips back against the wall. “Philip, harder, please.”

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, and when his fingers hit you deeper, his palm struck your clit, and you cried out, scrabbling for purchase on the fabric of his shirt. He pushed another finger inside you without notice, and your moan was stuttered, the stretch just a shadow of a burn as he curled them against your walls; you could feel your knees going weak under your shuddering body. “Just let it out for me.”

And that was all you could do. His hand sped up against you, and one of your hands ran up the back of his neck as the other knitted itself into the front of his shirt; his smile was smug as you frantically grabbed at him. Your whimpers were weak when Philip pressed his fingertips against the front of your walls, and he felt you clench down against him.

“Right there,” you whined.

“Right here?” He did it harder, more intentionally that time, and your thighs trembled, you bit your lower lip. You nodded deliriously.

“Yes,” you moaned as his thrusts grew quicker and more forceful. The only things keeping your spent body upright were his hands under your hips and your grip on his shoulders; your cries were growing louder. “Oh, God; oh, fuck.”

“Shh, princess, we’ve got my family next door,” he chastised you, but the smile in his voice was distinct. Your groan was muffled through pursed lips. “You don’t want to ruin their impression of you as such a sweet, wholesome girl, do you?”

You shook your head frantically, pressing your lips together, but— “I’m so close.”

“Yeah? You’re gonna come for me?” He pressed the heel of his hand down against your clit, and your mouth fell open in a silent whine, brow knit. “Come on. Let me have it.”

Your nails were digging into the skin of his back through his thin button-down as pressure built in your groin, but he didn’t seem to mind. Your leg around him was a vice, and your hips jerked helplessly against the hand he used to pin you against the wall; the stretch of his three fingers inside you was dizzying, and you were struggling to form words, overwhelmed by the sensation as you approached your peak.

You came with a shriek, and his lips met yours, muffling the sound as he worked you through your orgasm. He released your hip to pin you against the wall by the neck. His tongue was in your mouth; your whimpers were close to cries as he fucked you with his fingers, and his hand only slowed against you when you went limp in his grasp.

“Holy shit.” Your eyes fell shut as you leaned back against the wall, and Philip kissed down your neck as he withdrew his hand from you, instead pushing your dress up to your waist.

“Take this off,” he muttered against your skin. You didn’t respond, chest heaving as you caught your breath, but you helped him lift the dress up over your head, leaving you only in underwear as you fixed the hair it ruffled. He tossed the garment aside. While your arms returned to his shoulders, he held you back by the waist for a moment, making your eyebrows jump. His gaze roamed your figure while he took a step toward you, and your breath was caught as his hands ran down your hips, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You shivered. “You’re stunning.”

Your smile was self-conscious as he pulled you close, tilted your face up toward his with his fingers under your chin, and he kissed you softly. His hands settled atop the swell of your ass, and when he pulled you against him, his erection pressed against your lower stomach through the fabric of his pants, drawing a gasp from your lips against his. He smiled when you rolled your hips up against his, pushing him back toward his bed. You kissed him hard, undoing the buttons on his shirt, and he laughed as he stumbled backward.

“Easy there.” As he bumped into the end of the mattress, he stilled you by the waist, and his hands ran up your back to unhook your bra. He slid the straps down your arms. “I’m not going anywhere, princess.”

“I’m allowed to be impatient when I look like this and you’re still fully dressed.” You gave him a pointed look as you discarded your bra, and he grinned.

“In all fairness, you look good like this.”

“Shut up, Hamilton.” You could feel his smile against your lips when you kissed him, finished unbuttoning his shirt, and he sat back onto the foot of the bed as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders. You climbed onto his lap without hesitation, and he pulled you close with a firm grip on your thighs as your arms hung loosely around his neck. When your lips again met his, it was slower; your hands moved to his body, his bare torso and his warm skin, and ultimately to his belt buckle.

You kissed down the side of his neck as your hands traveled south, and he squeezed your ass when you latched onto the skin below his ear, sucking a deep purple bruise into the tender space.

“Marking your territory?” he asked between heavy breaths as you pulled the tail of his belt out from its buckle. You smiled.

“Trying to make sure Henriette gets that you've moved on.” You undid the button on the top of his pants and unzipped them, dragging your fingers over his bulge as you did so, and he let out a ragged breath.

“Don't tease me.” His voice was rough as he lifted your face by the chin, and you looked up at him with wide eyes to see his weary expression. You traced your fingers over the outline of his dick in his boxers.

“Or what?” you asked softly, tilting your head as you watched his chest heave. His thumb ran across your jaw, and his gaze was fixed on your lips.

“Or I won’t invite you to the Hamilton Thanksgiving?” His tone was mild, and your scandalized gasp was weak.

“Oh, you wouldn’t dare.”

“I know, I’m really cruel, huh?”

“I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it.” The final few words were murmured against his lips as he leaned in to kiss you once more, but you pulled back a moment later as you pushed yourself off the edge of the bed to stand and lowered yourself to your knees. You tugged his pants down with you, looking up at him as you reached for the waistband of his boxers. “Can I?”

“By all means.” He sounded winded as you pulled his underwear down over his hard cock, and you leaned in to kiss his stomach, running your hands up his thighs as you settled between his legs. His breathing was heavy as you ghosted a finger up to the tip of his hard cock. His hips jerked forward the moment your lips touched the head, and you pulled back with a soft laugh.

“You’re so needy.” He didn’t seem to have much patience for your playful gaze as you took his dick in one hand.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” he said.

“What are you gonna do about it?”

He sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Do you want me to do something about it?”

“Wouldn’t mind it.” You took his dick fully in your mouth, then, hollowing your cheeks as you brought it to the back of your tongue, and he groaned, a hand flying to your hair. You pulled back to spit on it, pumping it in your hand. “Do you have it in you?”

You ran your tongue up the underside of his cock before taking it as deep as you could, gagging as you massaged the base. Philip’s moan was gratifying as he weaved a hand into your hair, grasping it by the roots, and you looked up at him with wide eyes when his grip went firm. He gently pushed your head down further after you bobbed back up, making you choke. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. He held you there a moment, but when you came back up for air, you went back down on him almost immediately. He grunted as you tried to take him deeper, coming up to trace your tongue over the head of his cock. You sucked it gently, lowering your mouth on him slowly, and when you reached down to cup his balls, his hips lurched forward. You gagged when his cock hit the back of your throat.

“Shit, sorry—”

You pulled back with a cough, spit dripping down your chin as you looked up at him with wet eyes. “I don't mind.”

His eyebrows jumped. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You guided the hand he'd begun to withdraw back to your hair. “Go ahead.”

“You want me to fuck your throat, princess?” He pulled your hair back by the roots, forcing you to look up at him. The corners of his lips quirked up. “C'mon. Say it.”

“Fuck. Yeah, I do.” You leaned into his touch, pumping his dick in your fist. “Please, Philip.”

“Alright, just be good for me then.” When you took his cock back between your lips, flattening your tongue against the underside, he pulled you down on it firmly that time, holding you in place when you started to choke. “You can take it.”

Your brow was creased as you looked up at him, and when he thrusted gently into your throat, prodding your gag reflex, you had to remind yourself to breathe through your nose. Your lips touched where your hand had been working the base of his cock when he pushed his hips forward, and he pulled you back to move your hand, interlacing your fingers with those of his free hand where it rested on his thigh. “Come on. Take it all. You're doing so good.”

His gentle tone contradicted the force that was growing behind his thrusts, making you tear up as he abused the back of your throat. His grip on your hair was tight then, and he squeezed your hand in his.

It was only a moment later that he pushed you down to the base of his cock, and he groaned at your throat convulsing around him, rejecting the intrusion. He pulled you back up for air.

“You okay?” You only nodded as you wrapped your lips around his dick once more, going as far as you could without him forcing you, and his soft grunts were encouragement enough. “Fuck, princess. You're so good.”

Your eyes fell shut, preening at the praise and trying to focus on your breathing as he rolled his hips into your mouth. You looked up at him when his thrusts grew quicker, his breathing heavier, and you squeezed his hand in yours. Your other hand came up to roll his balls between your fingers, and he moaned.

His hips stilled a moment later, his body going rigid, and when you kept bobbing your head, he had to pull you back.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

Although your chest was heaving as you tried to catch your breath, you managed a weak, “What?”

He inhaled slowly. “That's too fucking good. I don't wanna come like that, though; I wanna fuck you properly.”

Your smile was smug, but your voice was hoarse when you responded, “Aw, you're struggling not to come already?”

You gasped at his sharp tug on your hair. His gaze was entertained. “Play nice if you still want anything more from me.”

He raised his eyebrows expectantly, but you weren't fazed. “What, you don't wanna fuck me anymore? You haven't even come.”

“Maybe I will come down your throat, then. I've been trying to shut your smart mouth up for years.”

Your pout as you blinked back the tears from him fucking your throat made him smile. “Please don't tease.”

“You've already come. What makes you think you deserve to get fucked?”

“I'll be so good.” Your strained plea didn't budge his expression, and you eyed his amused look. “And you know how long you've wanted this for. Me on my knees, begging you to fuck me. Why would you keep both of us from getting what we want?”

His tongue was burrowed into his cheek as he eyed you for another moment, reaching down to wipe the tears and smeared mascara from your cheeks. “Fuck. Yeah, alright, c’mere.”

You smiled as you stood, and he pulled you up toward him with the hand on his thigh. He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you onto his lap, and you leaned in to kiss him once more, softer that time. He had a different agenda. As you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his hand was at your neck and his tongue pushing its way into your mouth, and you moaned against him, grinding down against his dick.

“You're so gorgeous.” The heat of his breath was in your mouth. You tugged at his bottom lip with your teeth.

It was sudden when he stood, picking you up with him by the thighs, and you yelped, clinging to his shoulders. The sound made him laugh as he pulled back, his nose resting against the side of yours. “Relax, princess, I've got you.”

“You've gotta stop calling me that,” you murmured against his cheek, and he bit your lip playfully.

“Don't hold your breath.” He stepped out of the pants that hung around his ankles as he brought you around to the side of the bed, and when he laid you down beneath him, it was careful, and he kissed your neck as he laid your head back.

You tried to pull him back onto the bed with you with your hands at his shoulders, and you pushed yourself further onto the mattress with your feet. “Come here.”

Ever obliging, he followed, kneeling above you as you pulled yourself up to kiss him once more. His mouth dropped to your neck as his hands ran down to your hips, tugging at the band of your underwear.

“Can I take these off?” he whispered.

“D’you have a condom?”

“Yeah, hang on.” He kissed your shoulder before he rolled off of you to stand. He grabbed his wallet from the bedside table and withdrew the foil packed from its inner pocket, and you raised your eyebrows.

“You've just been carrying that around?”

“I've carried a condom in my wallet since I was sixteen.” He tore open the packet, withdrawing the condom and rolling it down his hard cock.

“Hope it's not expired since you haven't had a chance to use it yet.”

He looked down with an eyebrow cocked at your self-satisfied smile. “Do you want me to fuck you or not?”

You shrugged. “Still considering it.”

“You're such a pain in my ass.” His voice held no ire as he grabbed you by the ankles and yanked you toward him on the bed, and you squealed. He leaned down to take the fabric of your underwear between his fingers, pulling it down your legs, and you bent your knees for him to pull it over your feet. He took you by the thighs, then, parting them for himself and settling between them on the mattress as he pushed you back to where you'd been.

Your breathing was quick as he leaned over you, pulling one of your legs up to his hip, and you gasped when the tip of his cock ran up your soaked pussy. His other hand landed on the mattress beside your head, holding him up above you.

He furrowed his brow as he looked into your wide, nervous eyes. “You're sure you want this?”

“Please.” You ground your hips up against the shaft of his dick, and you flinched when it brushed against your clit. “Wanna feel you inside me. Come on.”

“Okay,” he said, voice breathy as he reached down to line his dick up with your entrance. Your stomach turned when you felt his tip against you, pushing firmly inside, and it didn't take long for it to start to burn.

“Wait, wait, go slow.” You scrambled for purchase in the sheets, ultimately pushing yourself up onto your elbow and holding him by the chest. “You're too big. I need a second.”

“Hey, relax.” He held your hand that laid on his chest. Your eyes were wide as you looked up at him. “It's okay. Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no, just…” You swallowed. “Be gentle at first? Please?”

“Of course.” He leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. “Just lay down. I'll take care of you.”

You did so hesitantly, and he followed you back down to the mattress, his hand on your hip and his lips on your neck. The second push of his hips against yours made you groan, his dick pushing further inside of you, and he fell into a rhythm rolling his hips down as he eased you open.

“There you go. Good girl,” he whispered at his final shallow thrust, bottoming out. You whimpered as he ground his hips gently against yours. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was barely a breath. “You can move. I'm okay.”

“Okay princess. Lemme go slow.” One of his hands ran up the bottom of your thigh, bending it for him and spreading you wider as he pulled back. His first few thrusts hurt, stretching you slowly open, and you could only groan into his shoulder atop you, but as he fell into a rhythm, you could feel yourself begin to relax.

“Fuck, yeah, just like that,” you said softly as you arched against him, letting your head fall flat against the bed.

“Yeah?” He thrusted his hips harder against yours in a way that made your eyes widen. He ran a hand up the back of your leg, spreading you wider for him as he increased his pace. “Yeah? Like that? You like that?”

“Oh, shit,” you groaned, “I need more. I need you to fuck me harder.”

“And I need you,” —he grabbed you by the jaw, turning your head to look him in the eye— “to be quieter.”

“You're still thinking about your parents next door?” Your words were jeering. “At a time like this?”

“Well, now I'm thinking a little less considerately.” His hand dropped to your neck, and your eyebrows jumped. “You promised you'd be good for me.”

“I think I'm just the picture of decorum.”

“Uh huh.” He leaned into you as he slowed down. “It's alright. You will be.”

“Wait, please, harder,” you whined, eyes falling shut. He stilled inside you, watching you expectantly. “Philip. Please don't stop.”

“What'll you do for it?” He kissed you softly with a smile, running his thumb along your jaw.

“Fuck. Anything. Please.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Call me daddy.” Your eyes flew open, but his grin was easy as his hand left your next to rest on the mattress beside you. “Come on. We both saw how you reacted to the jokes I've made about it. I might've been a little stupid this weekend, but I'm not dumb.”

“That doesn't even make sense.”

“You know what I'm saying, though. Don't you?” He kissed your jaw. “Tell me that doesn't get you off, and I'll leave it alone.”

“Philip,” you whined. “Just want you to fuck me.”

“Gladly. Just say the word.”

“I don’t…” You clearly had every intention of defending yourself, but as he raised his eyebrows, he could feel your pussy tighten around him. “Please. I need you.”

“Please what?”

He smoothed your hair back away from your face as he watched you, and you swallowed hard. “Please, daddy.”

Your voice was hardly audible, but it made him smile as he ground his hips down against yours. “Say again? I can't even hear you; you're mumbling.”

“Come on,” you pouted. “You promised.”

“I want to hear it. Say it like you mean it.” He'd returned to thrusting shallowly in you, then, but only slowly. It was barely enough stimulation to tease.

“Fuck me harder. Please.”

“Are you really gonna make me ask you again?” Philip lifted your head with a hand beneath your chin to look at him. His pupils were blown wide. Between the way he felt, stretching you wide, and the way your skin rippled under his fingers on his neck, soft but firm, there's little he could've asked for that you wouldn't have done.

“Please, daddy,” you finally said. “I want you to fuck me. Properly. Like you mean it.”

“Oh yeah?” He sped up the roll of his hips against yours, his grin widening as he dropped his head to rest against your skin. “How properly? Hm? You want me to ruin you?”

“Yes, fuck, please,” you moaned, and he moved the hand on your neck to rest against the mattress, holding him up above you. “Please, please, please.”

He didn't respond, only pushing your thigh in his hand further against your chest as he lifted himself onto his knees. As he leaned over you, his grip on your leg lifted your hips into the air, driving your upper back into the mattress as he thrust harder into you.

“Shit, you're so tight,” he huffed, “that feels damn good.”

His words made you groan, and he pulled back fully onto his knees, holding you against him by the hips for leverage. Your grip twisted into his bedsheets as his back hovered out of reach, and you rolled your hips against him, meeting his thrusts as you arched your back.

“I don't know how long I'm gonna last.” His words were breathy. “You feel too good. Want you to cum for me first, though. What do you need for that, princess?”

“Touch me, daddy,” you pleaded, and he groaned, driving into you harder. His grip tightened in one hand, but the other released your hip to find your clit, circling it softly.

“Here?” he asked. “This good for you?”

“Yeah,” you moaned. “So good.”

Your hips jerked and your legs trembled at the dual stimulation, and it wasn't long before you found yourself close to orgasm, worked up from how overwhelmed you were. When you clenched down on him, he could feel it.

“Shit, you close?” he asked, and you nodded.

“Don't stop.”

“Never.” His thrusts into you slowed down only slightly so he could fuck you harder, your entire body jostled by the force, and your legs tensed as you finally reached your peak. You came with a gasp, and he didn't stop fingerings you, working your clit through the orgasm.

It was only when you found yourself too sensitive, jerking away from his touch, that he slowed down.

“You okay?” he murmured, thrusting gently into you. You nodded. “Can you keep going?”

“Please. I want you to cum. Want you to feel good.”

“Shit, okay.” His hand that was fingering you had been on your lower stomach, but it moved to your other thigh so he was holding you by the legs, pressing them into your chest. When he picked back up his pace, his grip tightened, and your mouth fell open in a silent whine. “Fuck. Yeah. You're so tight. You like that?”

“Mhm.” Your response came out a whimper as you sank your grip into the bedsheets, and you barely registered your fingernails digging into your palms.

He groaned. “Oh, God, I'm gonna cum.”

“Cum in me,” you pleaded, rolling your hips pathetically up against his. His thrusts were growing sloppy and frantic. “Cum for me.”

“Shit.” He came with a gasp, and although his grip tensed on your thighs for a moment, you barely had time to wince before he was releasing them, dropping them gently to the mattress before leaning over you to kiss you. “You okay?” he whispered against your lips.

“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, and he pulled back enough to look you in the eye, smoothing your hair away from your face.

“Yeah?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pulled him down to kiss you again. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” He dipped down to kiss your jaw as he slowly pulled out, and your arms were limp on his shoulders as you caught your breath. “That was… I… well, fuck.” His voice was ragged as he rested his forehead on your shoulder, both your bodies damp with sweat. You had his hair between your fingers, fingertips tracing his scalp, and you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at his declaration.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” you murmured, and he chuckled as he lifted his head to kiss you on the mouth, leaning on his arm beside your head. He brushed a hair out of your face, hand coming down to hold you by the nape of your neck as his thumb ghosted over the bottom of your cheek. When he pulled back, he eyed your features thoughtlessly, gaze never leaving your face, and you squirmed under his scrutiny despite his soft smile.

“You’re staring.”

“Let me keep this moment for a few more seconds.”

You scoffed. “My hair is in knots and there’s mascara running halfway down my face. I’m not exactly a vision right now.”

He creased his brow when he looked you in the eye. “You have no idea how stunning you are, do you?”

You smiled timidly. “I won't turn down the reminder."

He grinned as he dipped down to kiss you softly once more. "I'm happy to let you know, princess." He rolled off of you and sat up to take off his condom, tying it off before discarding it in the trash. Your eyes ran over his toned back as he did so, watching the low light dip and swim in the clefts between his muscles, and he glanced back over his shoulder at you as you pulled yourself up to sit at his headboard. He raised an eyebrow when he saw you watching him. "What?"

"This still feels surreal," you said quietly, and he didn't respond as he came to sit beside you, waiting for you to go on. "Three days ago, we barely spoke. This isn't how I expected this weekend to end."

"That makes two of us." He glanced down at you, eyeing your pensive expression. "Even my most optimistic imagination was that we would come back friends."

"This never crossed your mind?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that, exactly." His playful grin made you roll your eyes. "What, like you never thought about it?"

"Only in moments of weakness," you defended, and he quirked a brow.

"'Moments of weakness'?" he repeated. "What does that mean? Late nights at the office when we're the only ones around? When I take off my jackets and you see a little too much skin?"

"When Susan's getting a little too handsy," you corrected him, and he grinned. "I wish she wouldn't do it in the middle of shared spaces, though, because God does that woman know how to paint a picture."

"Now I might actually have a good reason to cut her off," he said. "I wouldn't wanna make anybody jealous. That sounds like a bad way to facilitate a healthy workplace dynamic."

"What d'you mean, might?" you asked incredulously. "You're gonna go back to flirting with our boss after all this?"

"Depends," he said, and you self-consciously pulled your knees into your chest where you sat. "What are we doing when we get back?"

"I don't know." Your voice was small. "What do you want?"

"Well—" He took your hand in his from where it rested atop your knee, watching your fingers as you laced them into his. "—first and foremost, I want you to stop stealing my parking spot."

"It's not your parking spot."

"But then I want you to let me take you out." Your eyebrows jumped as he squeezed your hand. "Properly. Somewhere we're not putting on a show for my family or worrying about work."

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He leaned gently into you, bumping your shoulders with his. “Let's finally go on that first date I've been lying to my family about for so long.”

Your smile was soft. “And where would you take me?”

“Well, I could always use a date to my company Christmas party,” he said, and you couldn't help your laugh. “I have this hot coworker that I share a space with who I've been trying to make jealous for years.”

“Maybe if you just tried being nice to her you'd have better results.”

“Would you believe that never occurred to me?”

You glanced over at him, and he was watching you with shining eyes. “God, you're so dumb,” you finally said, and his laugh was surprised, “I can't believe it took us this long to just talk. All this goddamn time.”

“I didn't think we ever would.”

“I didn't think we had much to say. I guess I'm glad I was wrong.”

“You guess?” he repeated, and your eyes widened as you jumped to defend yourself before you saw his grin. “You really know how to make a man feel special, princess.”

“I try my best.”

He took you by the chin when he leaned in to kiss you, but this time it was clumsier than it was passionate, one smile pressed against another.

“So are we done pretending you're not a cuddler?” he whispered, and with a groan, you shoved him hard enough that he fell onto his back beside you, pulling you down with him.

————

“There's the happy couple.” Philip's family had let you sleep in late, and you didn't want to question whether it was because they'd heard you up as late as you were the night before. It was Eliza who welcomed you down to the brunch she'd made, beaming at your sleepy smiles and mussed hair. “I know you have to get on the road today, but will you linger just a bit at breakfast? It's been so long since you've been home.”

“Of course, Mom. It's good to be back.” He kissed Eliza on the head, releasing your hand as he followed her to the kitchen counter to take a plate. “We're not in any rush, are we, princess?”

“To be stuck in a car with you all evening? I'd be happy to wait.” The usual bite behind your words didn't land how it tended to, as your snark was half-hearted. He took one look at your soft smile and couldn't even tease.

“I'm sure.”

You followed suit in taking a plate from the counter, helping yourself to some eggs and fruit. When you and Philip sat, the table was uncharacteristically quiet, and you filled your glass with orange juice, taking a sip as you glanced around.

"So you two sure got a lot of sleep, huh?" Angelica was the first to speak after you sat, and when you turned to her, her smile was knowing. You pursed your lips, a grin threatening to break through when you met her eyes.

"Yeah, it's been a tiring weekend. We needed it."

"You really haven't had much time to yourselves, have you?" Alex asked. You raised an eyebrow. His voice was sincere. "I guess that's what they say about engagements. Once you're getting married, it's about everyone else as much as it is about you."

"I think we'll manage," Philip responded, resting a hand on your knee under the table. When you turned to him, he winked. "I don't think we're in any race to the finish line. Can't speak for you, princess, but I wouldn't mind taking a little time to enjoy where we're at."

"I don't disagree," you said softly before turning back to Alex. "Anyway, we've got work in the morning. We might be a little busy to wedding plan for the time being."

"But you'll get there, right?" Concern tinged Eliza's voice, and you and Philip shared a look.

"Everything in due time, right?"

"Of course," Philip said, squeezing your knee under the table. You took another sip of your orange juice to hide your smile.

“So Y/N?” It was William's small voice that piped up, making you raise your eyebrows. “When are you having a baby?” he said, and you choked on your drink. Philip patted your back as you set the glass down, coughing.

“What?”

“You said you weren't gonna have a baby until you got married. But now you're getting married, so when are you gonna have a baby?”

You took a deep breath as you looked at Philip with wide eyes. He barely seemed to register it, glancing back at you with an exasperated smile.

“We just sat down for breakfast, Will. Give Y/N some time.”

“Well I don't mean you should have a baby right now. Finish your eggs first.”

Your laugh was stunned, but it occurred to you that you should've anticipated this. Philip seemed to have.

“I think you might need to give us a good few years to finish our eggs first then, buddy. We're in no rush.”

“But I wanna be an uncle,” William argued, and Alex finally chimed in.

“Finish the first grade before you start worrying about being an uncle.” The chuckle this garnered was collective, but he did turn his eyes to you. “Congratulations, though. You two must be excited.”

“We are,” you answered before Philip could say anything, and you squeezed his hand where it sat on the table. He met your eyes, and when he turned his hand over to lace his fingers into yours, your skin tingled. “I think it's safe to say we've still got an adventure ahead of us.”

#put a ring on it #hamilton fic #hamilton fanfic #hamilton film #hamilton #philip hamilton x reader #alexander hamilton x reader #hamilton x reader #philip hamilton smut #philip hamilton imagines #philip hamilton imagine #philip hamilton fanfiction #john laurens headcanons #john laurens imagines #john laurens x reader

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imsadstuff · 2 years ago

Text

Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Fluff, angst, slice of life and humor Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, I've been busy with university stuff. This took a lot of time and energy, so I hope you enjoy reading this. If you do please leave me a like or comment, please don't be a ghost reader! Word Count: 28k+ (I reccomend reading on a desktop if possible!) Warnings: Sexual themes, drinking, and just a whole lot of fluff.

Link to my masterlist if you want to check out my other stuff : here

AO3 link incase you prefer that: here

Race 16 Singapore Grand Prix 2019

Race weekend is always exciting, especially when it is a night race. The city felt alive as the crowd buzzed around, ready for the race to start. Walking beside your father, you stop periodically as he stops and talks to a million people through the paddock.

The Ferrari garage is buzzing with tension as your father goes up and pulls your brother in a tight hug, “Lets win, just like last year!” your father is gleaming with pride thinking of your brother’s glorious win in Singapore last night.

“How did the doctors go?” Philip asks as you kiss his cheek, after a shattered ankle, back injury and multiple head injuries a year ago, doctor visits have been regular for you.

“There’s progress, I might go back on ice again” you reassure him and he gives you a big, pleased smile. Phillip soon gets back in the car as everyone gets ready to race, he looks at home in the car.

“The two-time world championship winner Phillip Lee is starting at pole position followed by the other ferrari and mercedes” the commentator's voice booms in your headphones as you look at the cars line up.

“It’s an important race for ferrari to maximise points. The mercedes team feels weak today as their lead driver has to sit out of the races due to sickness. The replacement is mercedes reserve driver Jeon Jungkook, starting at P10” the camera pans to a new face for you, you’ve heard Jungkook’s name a few times, after he almost won the Formula 2 championship last year.

Jungkook feels like he’s given a unique and once in a lifetime opportunity when he was asked to fill in for Hamilton. His dreams of driving for a formula 1 team have felt impossible as he was still out of a contract mid-way through the season, this race is his opportunity to show how deserving he is of a seat.

You can feel your heart beat loudly as the countdown starts and within a blink of an eye the cars are zooming through. You’ve seen a million races by now, but each gives you the same adrenaline rush, you wonder how great it’s for the drivers.

Usually, the race would be focused on Hamilton and Phillip fighting to be the lead, but tonight the mid field seems to be more intriguing. “Oh, he’s fast, so fast” your father says as you watch the 14 number car zoom through the midfield. “What is my current position?” Jungkook asks as he starts lap number 30. “P 5, that was the fastest lap of the race. Keep out on turn 6, there might be some debris” his engineer says and Jungkook can feel a migraine coming, but he pushes through.

The crowd is visibly in awe as Jungkook zooms through the other mercedes car, just behind the two ferraris. “Jungkook, 2 seconds behind you and he’s catching up fast, mode push” the engineer tells Chuck, the other ferrari driver as he groans. The two of them go tire to tire for two turns until Jungkook finally takes over and you aren’t proud but you’re cheering against your brother right now. “Fantastic overtake Jeon, let’s push and try our best” Jungkook engineer says and Jungkook asks, “Who’s ahead of me?” “Phillip, five seconds ahead, the focus is to keep dodging Chuck” “Copy”

Everyone’s literally holding their breath as the race enters the last five laps. Jungkook has been struggling to keep off Chuck but it’s the final two laps when Jungkook goes from fast to, extraordinarily fast.

“Fuck!” your father and multiple engineers in the ferrari garage groan as Jungkook successfully manages to overtake Phillip. “Today’s race is going to be one we’re going to remember for the rest of our lives. Currently the driver from South Korea who started at P 10 has managed to end up at P 1, his skills have surprised everyone as he continues to dodge the two-time world champion Phillip” the commentator says and Jungkook enters the final lap of the race. There is a moment at turn 7 when Phillip almost overtakes him, but Jungkook keeps his position.

“This has been one of the most impressive things I’ve seen in the last twenty years of F1 history. A twenty-year-old rookie driver is finishing in the pole position in his first ever formula one race” the commentator says and your father groans as Jungkook crosses the chequered flag.

“Holy shit, HOLY SHIT, FUCk” Jungkook’s voice is barely audible over the radio as the crowd cheers for him and he sobs behind his helmet. “Right ahead park at the P 1 slot Jeon, this has been a life changing race mate!” Jungkook’s engineer sounds elated as the mercedes Jungkook is driving comes to a halt.

You watch through the tv as Jungkook barely gets out the car, the world watches as he sobs, placing his head by a tire, his body feels drained yet he feels like he’s at the top of the world.

Phillip isn’t in the best of the moods as they arrive for the press interviews post the celebrations. But he still turns to Jungkook to congratulate him on the win as they sit down for press interviews.

“So Jungkook, the smile doesn’t seem to be disappearing off your face any time soon. How does it feel to finish at a pole position in a race you ended up in because of Hamilton being sick?” an interviewer asks enthusiastically and Jungkook adjusts his cap before answering.

“It feels surreal, like I’m going to wake up any moment and realise all this was a very vivid dream. I knew when I got a call this Thursday that this was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I just wanted to make the most of it” Jungkook is visibly happy as he talks.

“You’re still looking for a seat for 2020 season, offers must be lining up after tonight” another interviewer directs a question towards Jungkook and he takes a deep breath before answering, “I’m cautiously optimistic about my chances of driving next season. Being that it’s mid-season and a lot of teams and locked up their line up for the next year, let’s see what happens”

“Question for Phillip, how do you feel about the 2020 season with a high possibility of Jeon joining a team and racing you next year” and interviewer asks and Phillip chuckles before answering, “Excited honestly, today was one of the most tough race for me of the season and Jeon pushed me to my absolute limit and competent competition like him is what brings out the best in me as a driver”

Jungkook finally catches a breath as he sits down for dinner with his parents and manager. “So, we have an offer from McLaren, they want you to get the feel and spend time at their garage at the next race” His manager says as he barely chews the rice. “McLaren have a good car, top of mid field” his father comments and he nods in agreement. “Who else hasn’t locked up their line up for next year?” Jungkook asks with a mouthful of food. “Aston Martin, McLaren, Alfa Tauri and Ferrari” Jungkook gasps when he hears the last name, not expecting to be on this list. “Chuck might be moving to Alfa Tauri, he’s still in the middle of negotiations but ferrari is a little out of reach to be honest” Jungkook nods when he hears that, historically ferrari is not a team that bets on young drivers. Jungkook doesn’t fall asleep that night, afraid this dream might end.

Race 17 Japanese Grand Prix 2019

Jungkook was all excited to spend the weekend with McLaren’s team, but fate must be really working for him because he was informed late Thursday that he’ll be driving for mercedes again. Hamilton is in better condition but still not in a place to drive

“Tonight's race will tell us if Jeon’s podium finish last week was a stroke of luck or a show of his phenomenal skills. He qualified at P4 so let's see where he is at the end of the race” a news host talks to the camera as Jungkook arrives at the paddock. The second he steps out his car, he’s swarmed with fans and media, he’s still not used to the attention but he smiles and takes a million pictures with fans anyway.

“You must be on the top of the world?” Pierre Gasly asks Jungkook as the walk beside each other, Pierre is a driver for Alpha Tauri, he might be his teammate next year. The two of them go back to carting days, and have known each other for years.

“I’m trying not to let it get to my head, just not think about how much of my career is riding on this” Jungkook answers candidly as they reach the mercedes garage. They talk some more for a few minutes till Pierre’s girlfriend comes and interrupts them.

“Congrats on last week Jeon, I texted you but you never replied” Francisca complains as the two of them hug.

“My phone’s been blowing up, I might have missed it” Jungkook says with a big smile, he can see someone walk up to them.

“Fran come on we gotta get to our seats- oh” you look up from your phone to realise that it’s not just Pierre and Fran, it’s also last race’s winner Jeon Jungkook who gives you a very polite smile. “Hi” you say awkwardly waving a hand at him, he giggles as he waves a hand back. “You guys are watching from the grandstand?” Pierre asks and you nod showing him the tickets. “I have a friend watching too, come on they’re waiting” you say and Fran, she grumbles and reaches over to plaster a big kiss on Pierre’s lips.

“Jesus fuck is he hot” Lily exclaims as Jungkook appears on the big screen, the camera follows as he puts on his balaclava and gets in the car. “Is he dating someone?” she asks Fran and she nods no, “He had a pretty serious girlfriend but they broke up some time this year” Fran has the inside scoop on anything and everything.

There is this silence as the cars line up to start the race, Jungkook’s mind goes absolutely blank as the lights go off and he’s cruising. The first turn results in a big crash between Chuck and the other mercedes car.

“The safety car has been deployed, and both ferrari and mercedes have only one car in the race now” the commentator announces and you watch as Jungkook drives behind your brother once again. Jungkook takes a pit stop in lap number 40, pushing him from P2 to P7, “You have Sainz in front of you, three seconds away” “Copy” Jungkook answers overtaking and reaching P6. It takes him around five more laps to get back to P2.

“Jungkook is tire to tire with Phillip but the ferrari driver is riding on older tires, Jungkook tries to overtake again, and OH Jeon manages to push Phillip off the track a little and takes the pole position” the commentator is basically shouting at this point.

“He was in my way, and hit me” Phillip complains on the radio and his engineer sighs waiting for a word from the stewardess. The accident is shown on the big screen again and the ferrari fans sigh with defeat.

“Phillip is given a five second penalty, maximise distance while he boxes” “Copy” Jungkook’s car zooms by where you’re sitting and it’s hard not to be awed by him.

Phillip is pissed as he walks by Jungkook to talk to a reporter, if he could he’d be back at his hotel room but he has to talk to people. “What a gripping race, you and Jeon were wheel by wheel so many times but he came on top at the end” the interview says and Phillip passes him a tight smile.

“He’s a tough competition but I’m hoping to make up the lost points in the coming weeks” Phillip is very media trained, no matter how pissed he is right now, he is going to try and stay level headed.

“What does it feel like right now? Two consecutive pole positions far from what mercedes must have expected of you two weeks ago” the interviewer asks and Jungkook grins widely as you watch him get interviewed from a distance.

“I’m excited to have my own episode in the next season of drive to survive, thank you Netflix in advance” Jungkook says with a cheeky smirk making everyone around him laugh out loud.

“So, this has to stay between us right now but McLaren made a counter offer” Namjoon, Jungkook’s manager whispers to him and his eyes go wide.

“How much?” Jungkook asks and Namjoon shows him by pulling four fingers up.

“There’s something else too, ferrari’s team principal has requested a meeting later today” this makes Jungkook gasp out very loudly, garnering attention from a few people around them.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2019

Midway through this year, your schedule has been emptier than expected. Right now, you were supposed to be at the Olympic camp as a part of the figure skating team, instead you were sunbathing in Mexico. Putting on your cover up, you are heading back to your hotel room when you run into someone very unexpected in the elevator.

“Hello” Jungkook is standing against the wall with his manager on the other side. You mumble a meek hello as you stand in front of them. The two of them are talking about last week's race till the elevator reaches a stop and his manager steps out.

“I have some stuff to work out with the lawyers but I’ll come and get you for the signing” the manager says and Jungkook nods. There’s silence as the two of you walk back to your rooms, awkwardly in the same direction.

“So, you are a figure skater?” Jungkook finally breaks the silence and you nod, looking at him a little surprised.

“How’d you know?” “I looked you up on Instagram” he answers with a teasing tone, like, duh he looked you up on Instagram.

“How are your injuries?” he asks, surprising you again. Sure, you make a long post to announce your injuries, but you didn’t expect him to bring it up.

“They’re there” you answer and he gives you a sympathetic smile as he opens the door to his room.

“Congratulations on signing with ferrari” you shout as you walk away from him, he turns around, his big bambi eyes looking around with terror.

“Shhhh!!!! how’d you know?” he says very seriously only, making you giggle as you open your room diagonal to him. “I have my ways” you say with a small smile and he looks away shyly.

The paddock is absolutely buzzing as people continue coming up to Jungkook to congratulate him. His seat on Ferrari was announced last night, and it still does not feel real to him. He makes his way to the ferrari garage as everyone gets ready for qualification.

Photographers take a million pictures as he goes up and greets Phillip, “Welcome to ferrari” Phillip says with actual excitement. “Thank you! It still doesn’t feel read” Jungkook says and Phillip laughs and remembers this feeling. “It won’t till you’re actually in the car” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles nervously. Jungkook goes around, greeting everyone and all the team members seem to be fascinated with him. By the time the cars go out, you arrive at the garage.

“Good afternoon” he greets you with a cheesing smile that comes up to his eyes. “Afternoon” you mumble looking at the screens as Phillip drives quickly. “So, how are you planning to celebrate Jeon?” your father asks from the other side. “Training and lots of it, I’m also starting Italian lessons” he says and your father chuckles loudly. “buona fortuna!” (good luck!) you say giving Jungkook a thumbs up. “Grazie” Jungkook says with a twinkling smile.

Jungkook is taking diligent notes through the race, you don’t understand half of it between the scribbling and bad handwriting, but he seems focused.

“You’re going to need a red diary now” you tell him and Phillip enters the last few laps of the race, tonight’s race wasn’t as exciting as the last two ones.

“They delivered all this ferrari merch, there has to be diary in it too” Jungkook says shutting his diary.

“What are your plans over the winter break?” you ask him removing the headphones, his have been off the whole time.

“Moving to Monaco, skiing with a few friends and training” Jungkook was dreading the winter break, all he wanted to do was be back in the car.

“What are you doing?” he asks and you sigh having no actual idea. “Doctors appointments, decide if I want to absolutely give up on my dream of figure skating, stay at home and rest because my doctors going to be asking me to do that” you answer absolutely dreading the lonely winters. Jungkook doesn’t know how to reply to that, you might have laid way too heavy stuff on him.

“It’s not all that bad, I’m going to be drinking lots of wine and reading twenty books” you say bringing up the kindle in your hands, you always carry it around with you.

“Reading just requires too much concentration for me” Jungkook answers completely given up on watching the race at this point, he can always rewatch it.

“Yet you drive a formula 1 car with precision” you say with a taunting tone, earning a big laugh from him.

Race 19 United States Grand Prix 2019

You aren’t attending the race this week, instead you decided to fly back home for a doctors appointment. “There’s very slow progress, how does this feel” the doctor asks slightly turning your foot and you grumble with pain.

“The fractures and injuries are healed but there’s some swelling, have you talked to your coach?” the doctor asks as you sit up, you had and he wasn’t happy.

“What are my chances?” you ask the doctor and he sighs, you know you aren’t going to like the answer.

“Your foot injury is healing slow, but your back injury is what alarms me, even with the physiotherapy I’m worried you’re going to have a flare up if you go back on ice” the doctors words are ringing in your ears. You knew this was coming, but it was going to take you some time to accept it.

You’re waiting for your food to be delivered as you get a notification, Unknown Number: *video* You play the video immediately and realise it’s a video of your brother driving out the garage, the camera turns to reveal Jungkook cheering on with your father. Unknown Number: Where are you? You: How’d you get my number? Jungkook: to quote you, “I have my ways” You: You got it from Pierre Jungkook: I have my ways… Jungkook: Where are you? You: I had to see my doctor, I’ll be back for the next race Jungkook: How’d it go? You: I’m drafting my retirement press release soon so not well Jungkook: I don’t know any appropriate response to that, it must be heart breaking You: Just tell me it’s going to be fine Jungkook: ___, I’m sure that it’s going to be fine

Race 20 Brazilian Grand Prix 2019

This is your first time in Brazil, and to put it simply, the food is delicious and for once in your life you aren’t overthinking after eating. You were walking around with Phillip and it’s hard not to be stopped every five seconds but he had to get some shopping done before his trip.

“Why are you being so anxious about perfume, it’s just perfume” you groan as Philip smells the nth perfume of the day.

“Because it’s my first getaway with Maya and I want to smell amazing, it’s very important” he says and the sales person chuckles.

“What are you dinner plans?” you as Phillip as he opens his ferrari, he only drivers a ferrari, on and off track.

“I’m having dinner with Jeon” he mentions nonchalantly and you give him a surprised look.

“I thought you didn’t like him” “I didn’t on track when he beat me, but he’s on my team now, I’d rather him be on my team” he explains driving through the packed city.

“Plus, we’re going to be spending a lot, LOT of time together, I want to get along with him” Phillip has a very close relationship with Chuck too, no matter how much they fight on track.

“So, what are you guys doing for your date?” you say with a teasing tone and Phillip laughs sarcastically.

“I suggested golf but he doesn’t know how to golf so we’re doing a very boring dinner and drinks” Phillip says stopping on a red light.

“Have fun on your date, too bad you won’t get some” this earns another sarcastic chuckle from Phillip. “Jeon’s too pretty for me anyway”

Jungkook’s massaging his head as he walks to the mercedes garage to watch the qualifying. Last night, he drank for himself and Phillip and it resulted in a bad headache and an even worse hangover.

His PR manager comes and finds him for an interview and he groans, reading the agenda. “It’s a simple fluff piece, they’d want to talk more about your interests and hobbies, what you are like as a person and not the f1 stuff” the PR manager says and he nods putting on his sunglasses, the sun might feel a little too bright today.

“I pick up a ton of hobbies, photography, video games, bowling, I’m very good at bowling.” Jungkook feels a little carefree during this interview, no hard-hitting questions.

“No golfing?” “I tell people that I don’t know how to golf when the truth is that I’m bad at golf” he answers, earning a hearty laugh from the interviewer.

“Last night, Phillip posted pictures with you, are you getting along with your future teammate” “Absolutely, I am still a little starstruck around him and I’m glad that I get to work along with him-" Jungkook loses his train of thought when he watches you walk into the paddock. “I, um, so so lucky to be driving for ferrari and learn from a two-time world champion” he finishes the thought massaging his head.

“This is the question I’m curious about the most, do you have a girlfriend?” “I don’t, right now the focus is training for the coming season”

Jungkook: why were you limping? You: When did you see me limping? Jungkook: Arriving at the paddock, what happened? You: Just a flare up, obsessed much Jeon ;) Jungkook: the words you’re looking for is worried, caring, thoughtful, etc. You: Close the thesaurus Jungkook, I’m fine Jungkook: you should ice it, do you have an ice pack? You: yeah I stole one from Phillip You: How’d the interview go with the pretty lady? Jungkook: Obsessed much ___ ;) You: The word you’re looking for is observant, attentive, aware, etc. Jungkook: Focus on icing your foot and close the thesaurus You: Fuck off Jungkook: Gladly :)

Race 21 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2019

“Final race of the season and after last week’s competitive race, Hamilton ended up at P1, making your final score close to equal. So much pressure on this race, how are you feeling?” the interviewer asks pushing a mic in Phillip’s face.

“It’s been a tough season, I’m just happy it’s ending” Phillip says before walking away.

You’re in the hospitality area of ferrari, waiting for your father to be done talking to someone, again. Jungkook walks in, flashes you a smile before he goes and talks to someone.

Today you aren’t watching from the garage, the first time Phillip won the world championship, you were late and in the hospitality area, and given how superstitious Phillip is, you’re stuck in the hospitality area.

You: where are you watching the race from? Jungkook: I have a few friends waiting in the grand stand, so from there Jungkook texts you back quickly, looking up and quirking an eyebrow towards you. You: Lucky… I am going to be stuck here Jungkook: Come with me, I got an extra ticket You: Can’t

Before he can ask another question, Phillip walks in the room, and takes a seat beside you. “How you feeling?” you ask him and he sighs leaning back in the sofa.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Phillip has a lot riding on today’s race, he can’t lose.

“Want some water?” you offer him a bottle and look up to find Jungkook sitting opposite Phillip.

“Let’s all get drunk after you win, and not just me drinking this time” Jungkook can sense how tense Phillip is, this makes Phillip chuckle a little.

“I’m going to be drinking none the less,” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles standing up.

“Good luck for the race! I’ll get going my friends are lost” Jungkook says making eye contact with you for just a second.

“Thanks” Phillip stands up, mumbling something about seeing an engineer, you look up at Jungkook, and he taps on your phone, like he’s signalling for you to check it. Jungkook: Text me if you get bored

You’re holding a throw pillow pretty tightly as you watch Phillip enter the last lap of the race. “Hamilton is 2 seconds behind, mode push, mode push” “Stop talking on the radio, I’m trying to win” Philip yells on the radio as the two of them almost touch at a corner but Phillip comes ahead and the crowd goes wild as he zooms past the cheeked flag.

“So sorry for yelling” Phillip apologizes and you wipe a tear, “Don’t worry mate, if you’re winning the world championship for the third time, you can yell all you want” his engineer says and Phillip chuckles.

Phillip doesn’t seem as excited as he walks up to the podium, he seems relieved. Phillip looks around for you in the crowd, but you’re missing.

You know you should be happy for your brother right now, but all his victory does is make you feel miserable about your lost career. Your family doesn’t know about the tough conversation you had with your coach last week, they don’t know about the press release that’s going to be released some time next week.

You notice people coming back to the lounge so you leave, not wanting to answer any question. “___?” you hear a familiar voice as you bump into someone on your way out, looking up you realise that it’s Jungkook. Sniffing your nose, you walk away like nothing happened but Jungkook follows, the image of your running mascara worries him.

“___ what’s wrong?” he stops you, holding you back with your wrist, the question only makes you sob harder. Quietly, he pulls you into a dark corner, not wanting anyone to see this.

“I am the worst sister ever, thinking about myself when my brother achieved something great” you cry out, leaning your head against his chest. Jungkook knows his words can’t console you right now, so he just hugs you tightly till you stop crying.

January 2020

“So, three-minute-long hug and you haven’t talked to him since?” Lily asks and you nod sitting up on the counter. The two of you are hiding in the kitchen during your brother’s birthday party, it’s just too important to gossip about boys.

“He replied to my stories a few times but we haven’t really talked, and I know he’s training and busy and I’m far from his mind but it’s still driving me insane” you grumble eating the cake you stole on your way in.

“It’s his first formula one season, of course he doesn’t have the time for a gir- Jungkook!” you squeal his name as he walks into the kitchen and Lily turns around with a big smile.

“Hey” he says waving his hand as he walks towards you. “Hi” your voice comes out very high pitched, this makes Lily giggly. “Phillip told me you were hiding in the kitchen” Jungkook says running a hand through his hair, his eyes are fixed on you, he hasn’t even noticed the woman standing beside you completely.

“Not hiding, eating cake and-“ “Okay so you two clearly don’t see me” Lily complains, flustering the two of you. “Jungkook, this is Lily, my friend-“ “Her best friend and I’m going to leave, nice meeting you Jungkook” Lily leaves you with a teasing smile and you look at her like an helpless puppy. “Hi” you say again, your face flush with embarrassment, Jungkook has a million things to ask you, a million more to tell you, but he feels tongue tied right now.

“Your parents moved to Germany when you were six months old?” you ask with amusement and Jungkook nods taking the pint of ice cream from your hands. As the party escalated to a club, the two of you disappeared in the crowd, staying back at your brother’s apartment.

“My father got a big mechanical engineering job so we moved from Seoul, they’ve been living in Frankfurt” he says looking at the ocean as he takes a big bite of the chocolate ice cream.

“There’s so much I don’t know about you” you whisper snugging even more into the blanket, it's was pretty windy out here on the balcony.

“I could say the same” he whispers laying his head back on the sofa, it’s hard not to stare in his eyes but you snap yourself out of it.

“How about we each ask a question and both of us answer it” you suggest and he nods immediately. “Comfort food?” you ask turning to face him, he ponders for a second but lights up as he answers, “Any soup my mom makes” “Mine would be a good, juicy, greasy burger” “Favourite movie?” he asks and you answer immediately, “Pride and Prejudice” “Iron Man 2” his answer makes you scoff, so on character for Jungkook. “I’ve never seen a marvel movie to completion” this earns a big old gasp from Jungkook, he sits up straight to look at you with shock.

“Sci-fi and the superhero trop is boring to me” “Don’t you dare sully the good Iron Man’s name” Jungkook says very seriously and you giggle, moving a little closer to him. “I’ve never seen any harry porter movies too” you confess and he laughs sarcastically.

February 2020 You: How’s testing going? Jungkook: I wasn’t able to sleep because of how excited I was to drive the car, and it went not as well as I expected You: What happened? Jungkook: Some engine problems but I’ll be fine Jungkook: What are you up to? You: I am studying to finish the last year of school, and I forgot how bad studying was Jungkook: Sucks to be you, I am out celebrating Jungkook: Why are you awake right now? It’s past midnight in Monaco You: Isn’t it even more past might in Bahrain? Jungkook: Yes, answer me first You: I had coffee late in the evening and now I’m all jittery and anxious You: Now, answer me second :) Jungkook: I had a photoshoot and event later, and another after party and now I’m drunk in bed

Without thinking too much, you press the video call button and he picks up immediately. His flushed face is very close to the camera. “Heyyyyy” Jungkook says dragging the y, knowing it’s going to make you laugh.

“You’re still in a suit, you’re going to wrinkle your suit” you say turning around in bed too.

“I don’t have to wear this again, at least for a while I think” Jungkook wonders out loud getting up from the bed, no matter how tired he is, sleeping in a suit is uncomfortable. He walks up to the massive washroom and places his phone by the sink.

“I’m going to back to the room and change, no peeking” Jungkook says very seriously earning another round of giggles from you.

“I said no peeking ___” Jungkook shouts from the living room, this definitely shows just how drunk he is. “I physically can’t Jungkook” you yell and he is very quiet until there’s a loud groan.

“What happened?” you yell, a little too entertained by drunk Jungkook. “I forgot how to open pants” “I don’t think you open pants, you unbutton them” you correct him, earning another groan from him.

“You know, you can be a huge know it all” he says as he walks back in the washroom with just a towel, hanging very low on his hip. He might be drunk, but he notices the instance change in your demeanour.

“Like what you see ___?” Jungkook says resting his hands against the sink, it takes a full minute to process what he just asked.

“Cockiness is not very attractive Jungkook” you challenge him and he hums splashing some water on his face.

“From my experience, it is” he says and you bite your lip, refusing to show just how much he can affect you. The two of you are playing a dangerous game, but refuse to give up.

“Make sure to drink some water, you can’t afford being hungover” you say looking away from the screen, needed a break from his piercing eyes.

“Worried about me ___?” he asks trying to rile you up again, but your response absolutely softens his heart. “Yes, very much so”

Race 1 Bahrain Grand Prix 2020

“Hey?” Jungkook picks up your call as he catches an elevator up to his room.

“Are you back to the hotel?” “Yeah, I’m on my way to my room” Jungkook says pressing his floor number.

“Can you stop by my room, it’s 504” Jungkook hums a reply, not knowing what to expect.

You’re in the middle of attempting to tidy your room when you hear loud knocks, way earlier than anticipated. Swinging the door open, Jungkook smiles widely, not having seen you in almost two months.

“Cute pj’s” he comments as you let him in, they are in fact not cute pj’s. What you sleep in is a very old, oversize t shirt and gym shorts.

“Sit” you order and he complies immediately, taking a seat on the bed beside you. Wordlessly, you pass him a pale paper bag, there’s some paper rustling till he reaches the gift.

“oh, wow this is embossed” Jungkook says feeling the soft leather of the diary. He’s about to open it when you not so gently swat his hands, “Do that when I’m not there” you whisper and he chuckles, seeing just how embarrassed you are about this.

“I can’t use this, it’s too precious a gift” Jungkook can’t help but keep fiddling with the diary.

“I bought it for you to fill it with diligent notes,” you say, turning to face him.

“Thank you ___” Jungkook’s the one feeling shy right now, more accurately vulnerable. Tomorrow is the first race of his first season, there’s so much pressure and he feels like you can sense just how heavy his shoulders feel.

“Don’t tell Phillip, but I kinda want you to win tomorrow” you say, reaching for his pinkie finger with yours, Jungkook immediately takes charge, intertwining them.

“But whatever happens, it’s going to be alright” you reassure him as he holds your finger very tightly.

“How can you be sure?” he asks, finally looking you in the eyes, his eyes give away his fears and tension immediately.

“Because when I was going through something tough, you told me it was going to be alright and it’s starting to feel alright”

Race 2 Australian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook finished fourth in last week's race, in an ideal world he’d want to be first but it wasn’t bad either. Jungkook was more excited about his sister and niece joining him for the week in Australia.

“What are you guys up to tonight?” Jungkook asks Phillip to get to the paddock for a test.

“Nothing much, might go to a steakhouse. Why?” “I’ve rented a yacht for the evening, some family is in town, you guys want to join?” was this a ploy to spend more time with you, yes.

“Sounds fun, maybe together we can convince ___ to jump in the ocean” Phillip says with a playful grin on his face.

“Um, excuse me, my fear of the ocean is very rational. I am not a fish, I can’t breathe in water” Phillip and you are arguing about this for the nth time as you walk up the dock.

“How can you two have the same argument with the same statements every time” Maya, Phillip’s girlfriend groans giving the two of you annoyed looks.

Jungkook’s laughter is the first thing you hear as you step onto the yacht, as you walk further up the deck you spot an adorable face that’s been mentioned to you several times.

“Oh, Hi guys!” Jungkook hollers waving his hands as Harper wiggles in his arms. Harper is Jungkook’s two-year-old niece, and seeing Jungkook with kids is not helping you with your “weird” feelings about Jungkook.

“Fish!!!” Harper yells from beside Jungkook and he returns her excitement with actual seriousness. The funniest part of their dynamic is Jungkook talking to her like an adult.

“Nemo” “No that’s not nemo, something else but definitely not nemo” Jungkook corrects Harper and you choke on your beer, finding this very ridiculous. Jungkook looks over at you with questioning eyes as you continue to cough like you’re going to die.

“Can you just let her believe that a fish is Nemo?” you ask standing up to sit a little closer to them. The two couples are off riding the jet skies the minute you got here.

“I’m setting her up for life and all the disappointments that come with it” Jungkook says, stealing the bottle of beer from your hands and taking a long swig.

The offended look on your face doesn’t faze him as he takes another swig. You go back to reading as the two of them look at fishes, Harper’s very into fishes.

Jungkook wants to bring up the diary, specifically the note you’d written on the first page, but you seem too focused on your book. Every time he turns around, he’s fascinated by the intrigued look on your face, sometimes you gasp or laugh with glee, the last one is definitely his favourite.

“Jeon, who was spectacularly starting at P1, unfortunately had to retire the car because of the engine on fire. This is definitely not the spectacular start everyone expected from him this season” the commentator says as you watch on the tv a frustrated Jungkook jump out his car.

“He’s going to be beating himself up about this even if it isn’t his problem” Sora, Jungkook’s sister, comments sitting beside you. Jungkook’s pissed to put it lightly, he’s already dreading the media questions that are going to be thrown at him.

But he pushes through, getting back to the garage and talking to the team principal. Wanting to get away from all this, he changes out of his driving suit and makes way to the hospitality area.

“Uncle Koo!” Harper says, springing up with excitement as Jungkook walks into the room. He picks her up immediately, cuddling her close.

“Next one will be better” Sora tries to comfort him with a gentle pat on his arm.

“Hopefully” Jungkook says, taking a seat beside you. You try and look him in the eyes again and again, through the race, but he keeps avoiding them.

“It’s going to be her bed time soon, I’ll take her back to the hotel” Jungkook’s brother in law says, and he gently transfers an already drowsy Harper from his arms. People are quick to leave when Phillip crosses the race in second place, wanting to go out and celebrate.

“Hey” you say, brushing his hand ever so softly, you want to reach over and hug him, but you don’t know if you should.

“Please don’t tell me the next one is going to be better. I’m tired of hearing that” he says flopping back on the sofa, he feels exhausted like he’s never before.

“I won’t,” you say, reaching over for his hand again, this time he holds onto it, not wanting to let go.

Race 3 Italian Grand Prix 2020

For a ferrari driver, the race in Monza is always the highlight of the season. Jungkook hasn’t gotten used to the fans and attention, but this week has been unreal. Everywhere he turns, he sees someone in red, he realises just how important this race is.

Jungkook: Where are you? He hadn’t heard much from you after the race in Australia, you had mentioned something about taking a little trip while in Italy but he didn’t know you if you were going to be here for the race. You had a plan, you were supposed to explore the Italian countryside and have all the pasta your heart desired for. This was supposed to be the year of fun and travelling around, instead you were laying on the crappy hotel bed with an ice pack on your back.

You: In bed at the hotel, my back hurts like hell Jungkook: What happened?

There’s no response from you for another hour and Jungkook’s all anxious and worried. He’s spaced out for most of the qualifying debrief and Phillip takes note.

“You alright man?” Phillip asks as most of the staff members leave the room. “Just worried about the race, I haven’t been off to the best start” it wasn’t all a lie, Jungkook was worried like he’s never been before about his performance.

Phillip knew Jungkook was his biggest competition, at the end of the day they were fighting for the same title but he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for Jungkook, maybe because he was once a tensed rookie driver.

Jungkook doesn’t let the amazing qualifying performance get to his head. Starting ahead in a race always make his chances of winning the race, but right now tomorrows race is not what he’s thinking about.

“Jungkook?” you exclaim as you swing the door open for him, Jungkook has a wide toothy smile as he shows you the box of pizza he picked up on his way.

“Feeling better?” he asks as you sit on the bed, waiting for him to join you. Jungkook can see how not okay you are based on how difficult it is for you to move.

“Why’s there a sad box of steamed veggies too?” “That’s my dinner, what are you watching?” he asks, sitting against the headboard too. Jungkook’s starting to understand your obsession with the office as he watches along with you. He notices how you turn around every now and then to see if he finds a joke funny, like you are testing him.

You know Jungkook’s in bed by 10 on a night before the race, he’s very particular about his sleep schedule. You reduce the volume when you hear his soft snores beside you, his head awkwardly resting against the headboard can’t be good.

“Jungkook,” you call for him gently, shuffling closer to him. You’re close enough to be able to count his eyelashes, in a moment of weakness, your hand softly grazes his hair off his face.

“Come on, we can’t have your neck hurting tomorrow morning” you say, softly patting his cheeks, this does wake him up. He begrudgingly gets up from the bed, his head knows what the right thing to do is but his heart wants five more minutes.

“Thank you” you whisper to him as he puts on his shoes, he looks back at you with confusion, “For what?” he asks as he watches you stand up in front of you.

You don’t answer his question, instead you get on your tiptoes and softly lay a kiss on his cheeks, “Good luck for tomorrows race”

“You’ve done it mate! That’s P1 in Monza!” Jungkook’s engineer cheers on the radio and his mind goes blank as he enters the cool down lap.

“Fuck, FUCK, Unbelievable!” Jungkook’s short of words as he brings the car to an holt, he has the same feeling he had in Singapore, the feeling is winning is like nothing else.

Jumping out the cockpit, Phillip is already celebrating his second position with the team as he joins them. “Congrats Jeon!” Phillip sounds ecstatic as he greats the younger man. Everything is a blur to Jungkook after he jumped on the team, shouts as he celebrated.

Jungkook’s hair smells like champagne as he gets back to the hotel room, he noticed that you weren’t watching the race from Hospitality like you usually do. He can’t help but smile as he notices a few texts from you. You: CONGRATUALTIONS JUNGKOOK!!!!!!! You: I jumped so hard when you won, might have injured my back more You: So fucking happy for you!!! You: Internet on the flight sucked but I watched you win!!Jungkook: Flight? You: Yeah I flew back to Monaco, my back was getting worse and I wanted to see my doc before it became unbearable Jungkook: hope you feel better :( You: I wished I could’ve seen you win in person :( Jungkook: Don’t worry, I’ll win more races just so you can see me win more

Race 4 Portugal Grand Prix 2020

“The two of you getting along? Is the bromance flourishing yet?” the interviewer asks the ferrari drivers and the two of them break into loud, hysterical laughter.

“I’ve had more dinner’s with Jungkook this year than I’ve had with my girlfriend, so I’d say we’re getting there,” Phillip says and the crowd laughs along with them.

You watch the two of them get another round of questions about the coming race, and it’s fresh to see Phillip getting along so well with a teammate. This had been an issue for him in the past, but friendship with Jungkook came naturally to him.

You click on another pre race promotional video of the two of them, it’s a chaotic game of Song Challenge. The basic premise of the game being the one to guess most of the song names, winning.

“Oh god, this is my game to lose, I don’t listen to a lot of music” Phillip confesses and Jungkook looks at him like he’s confessed to a murder. The game starts as a fun, silly thing but by the end of it, Jungkook’s literally jumping up with excitement when he guesses each song correctly.

“How did you even know all this, you’ve guessed most of them within ten seconds” Phillip grumples, clearly losing this game.

“I listen to music, lots and lots of it” Jungkook says cocklily as the final song plays. The two of them wonder what the song is for a while till Phillip smashes the buzzer.

“Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol” Phillip yells with excitement, knowing he’s right about this.

“You don’t recognise Beyonce’s song but recognise this song?” Jungkook asks with a sour look on his face, he is not a pretty loser. “It’s my sisters favourite song”

“Today was your second pole position of the season, how does it feel?” the interviewer asks right after the race.

“Well, finishing P3 is nothing compared to P1 but it’s exciting to see Ferrari finish with a double podium” Jungkook answers by fixing his cap.

“Around lap 50 you were asked to let Phillip through, sending him from P4 to P1 subsequently,” the interviewer isn’t asking a question, he’s stating a fact to get a rise out of Jungkook.

“Well Phillip was going for the fastest lap and I was happy to let my teammate through,” Jungkook answered pragmatically.

“Are you worried that strategies like these are going to place you as the number two driver in Ferrari?” he has to take a long deep breath before he answers.

“It’s about playing the long game, my team mate is always going to be my biggest competition but at the same time I want to establish my relationship with Ferrari.”

Jungkook looks pissed as he walks away from that interview. It had only been four races so far, but this was each reporter's favourite question, wanting to know if he was brought on board just to help Phillip win the championship.

Jungkook: Are you going to be attending the race in Spain? You: Nope, dad’s going to be attending, I still have some getting better to do Jungkook: :( you feeling any better? You: A lot, even did some yoga today You: I’ll definitely be there in Monaco ;) Jungkook: Are you cleared to do yoga? You: Yes I am , just some stretching and meditation Jungkook: Please be careful… also I have a favour to ask

Race 5 Spanish Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook’s apartment is nothing you imagined it to be, it’s emptier than expected. It’s a humble two-bedroom apartment that’s surprisingly empty. He’d asked if you could be there while someone delivered and built two beds. He'd been sleeping on a mattress on the ground for all three months of the winter break he spent in this apartment.

Jungkook wanted to fix up the apartment mainly because his parents were flying down to watch the race and stay with him while he got a week off between races in Monaco.

“How was qualifying?” you ask Jungkook on facetime, you’re still at his apartment late in the evening.

“P4, could’ve been better,” he sighs as he lays down on the bed, all he was looking forward to was the few days off in the coming week, he desperately wanted to do nothing.

“It’ll be fine, onto more important things. Why aren’t there any plates in your apartment?” you ask and Jungkook laughs, imagining you going through his sad, empty kitchen.

“Because I mostly ate out or ate directly from the pan” “You have two playstations, a full shelf full of marvel figurines, a very expensive racing stimulator but no fucking plates?” your outrage seems adorable to him.

“It’s about what’s important and plates clearly didn’t make the cut” “Well, I bought you a set, and also some snacks and fruits for your parents. I also hung up the curtains you very clearly gave up on, how were you living like this” you ask and he chuckles getting cozy in bed.

“Don’t strain your back for me” Jungkook pleads and you smile looking straight at him.

“I am not, this is just a way for me to distract myself from the fact that I’m bad at studying, it’s almost like I forgot how to study” you sigh sinking deep into his very comfortable sofa.

“How about, to return the favour, I help you study. You might not know this, but I’m very academically gifted” he brags nuzzling his head into the pillow, he’s exhausted from thee day and minutes from falling asleep.

“You need to be spending time with your parents Jeon” you tease, watching his heavy eyes. “I can make some time for you”

Tonight is a rare night as your father and you both watch the race from the living room instead of actually being there. Your father would attend most races in person if he could.

“You want some more?” you ask your father as you get yourself another glass of wine.

“No, I have an early morning with my accountant” silence envelops the living room again as you two silently watch the race. Your relationship with your father has always been a little awkward and distant. You’d spent most of your young years training and skating, your mother was more involved in your life while your father focused on Phillip.

“So, how’s the studying going?” he asks in an attempt to make some small talk.

“Going well, still trying to figure out my plans for college. I’m thinking business or advertising” you offer some more information than he asked, wanting to keep him in the loop.

“Have you thought about real estate? Not to brag but you are related to one of the biggest real estate moguls in Monaco” he says and you chuckle sitting up straight on the sofa.

“I’ve never thought about it, do you think I could do that?” you ask and he nods looking straight at you.

“You can do anything you put your mind on, remember how you’d fall on the ice every five minutes when you first started” he recounts with a grim smile on his face.

“How about this, you come with me to work next monday, spend the day at the office, get to see what a day’s work actually entails?” he offers and you seriously think about it before mumbling. The two of you talk some more about work that you almost miss Phillip finishing third in the race, and Jungkook second.

Race 6 Monaco Grand Prix 2020

“I haven’t been on a date in ages and it’s making me anxious” Lando confesses to Jungkook as they’re walking back from a free practice. Lando was a driver at McLaren, similar to Jungkook’s age so they naturally got friendly towards each other.

“I haven’t been on a date in… a year” Jungkook says and Lando gives him a scoff.

“Why? Not to sound gay but you’re a hot dude Jeon” Lando says and Jungkook laughs hysterically. Jungkook hadn’t ever thought of himself as special looking until he started driving in Formula 2, most of the attention he garnered was based on his looks. The craze just went deeper as he joined Ferrari, at least it has landed him sponsorships with major brands.

“How about we go clubbing after the race, there’s a ton of amazing places here and we got to party when in Monaco” Jungkook agrees to it immediately, he needs to let loose and party a little.

Jungkook: where you at? You: hospitality lounge, chatting with your parents You: they just told me the adorable story of you finding out Santa isn’t real at the ripe age of 10 You: Adorable! Jungkook: Why?? Don’t? You: They’re fun! your mother has a ton of baby pictures on her phone ;) You: The particular pictures of you and sister having a tea party, immaculate! Jungkook: Don’t you need to be studying some algebra? You: Don’t you need to be getting ready for qualifying?

“Don’t fight Jungkook, he’s faster” Phillip’s engineer tells him on the radio as the two of them go tyre to tyre on another turn. Jungkook started the race behind Phillip, and midway through the race the two of them were fighting to get ahead.

“Tell him to back off” “He’s on new tyre’s Phillip, he’s faster. We’re going with strategy 3” his engineer says and Phillip groans but doesn’t fight Jungkook anymore.

This is all Jungkook needed because within seconds the gap between them is increasing to great lengths, Phillip can’t deny Jungkook’s amazing skills that let him be so fast.

“That’s another victory for you mate! P1 in Monaco” “Yes, YESSSS, AGHHHHHHHHH!!” Jungkook had a lot of motives to push through tonight's race, he wanted his parents to see him win, he wanted you to see him win.

Jungkook spots you by your parents, he sends a victory wink your way as he bites his lip with excitement.

For the post-race press conference, the Ferrari drivers are paired together and Phillip isn’t very delighted about it. “Talking about the race today, the two of you seemed to be fighting around lap 30, and Phillip you were asked to not fight Jungkook, which ultimately cost you P1 today, how do you feel about strategy calls like these?” the reporter asks and Jungkook bites his cheek, knowing this isn’t an easy question to answer.

“It was a team call I wasn’t super delighted with but I wasn’t going to cost the team points because of my selfishness” Phillip answers truthfully and Jungkook continues staring around blankly, not willing to give any fodder to the reporters.

“Your team mate seems to be much faster in the same car as you, do you feel threatened about your position as the world champion?” another interviewer asks and Phillip smiles tightly. “I’m driving to win and so is Jeon”

Jungkook ends up at a yacht party instead of the club, he looks around for you as he gets himself a drink. “Check out the chick at 2 o’clock” Lando says and Jungkook turns around as nonchalantly as he can, he doesn’t check out the chick but he does spot you talking to some other man.

“Not really my type” Jungkook says chugging his drink in one go, his mood is definitely different now.

“What is your type?” Lando asks and Jungkook laughs sarcastically,

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be single” Jungkook takes hold of another drink and downing it again.

“Are you the kind to date to marry?” Lando asks and Jungkook takes a second to think.

“Not necessarily” Jungkook answers and watches you walk up to them.

“Then go talk to that chick-” “Hello boys!” you say cheerfully, greeting the two drivers.

“Jeon’s about to go talk to her” Lando says subtly, pointing at the gorgeous model.

“You are?” you ask, turning to look at Jungkook and he nods, downing his third drink. It’s hard not to look away as Jungkook charms the woman, of course he’d go up and talk to the gorgeous woman, why wouldn’t he.

“So, what about you? Should we find someone for you too?” Lando asks as you stare blankly at your drink, why’d you delude yourself into thinking Jungkook was remotely interested in you.

“Who’s he and why is he making bedroom eyes at you?” Lando asks, talking about the friend you were talking to earlier, just an old friend you ran into.

“The hell are bedroom eyes?” you ask with disgust and Lando chuckles at you bringing forth another shot of vodka for the two of you.

“I think the name’s self explanatory, come on go talk to him. Tonight, I’m the wingman for everyone” Lando says and you shake your head with disappointment, absolutely in no mood to talk to someone. ‘I think I’m gonna go home”

Jungkook: hey? did you get home safely? You weren’t expecting this text from Jungkook the next morning, putting down your cup of coffee, you contemplate what to say. You: Yeah, I saw the million pictures. You must’ve had fun Jungkook partying had taken up your explore page, around sometime that night he took over the mic and started singing, how could someone sound so good while being drunk off their mind? Jungkook: It was, would've been more fun if you were there This is why you were delusional about him, texts like these You: Why? The model wasn’t any fun Jungkook: She isn’t really my type You are enticed to ask him if you are, but you don’t. You: Go back to sleep, enjoy your day off

Race 7 Azerbaijan Grand Prix 2020

Lily has a semester break from college, so she decided you join you. The two of you spend all of friday and saturday exploring the beautiful city of Baku.

“Are you really going to work for your father?” Lily asks as the two of you sit down at a restaurant for dinner.

“Yes, right now I’m just learning and doing some of his assistant work and it might look boring but it’s better than doing nothing. Plus, I get to attend most race weekends” you explain reading the menu, your father was adamant on attending all the races, at least the European one’s and he had the fortunes to do that.

“So, taking this job has nothing to do with your massive crush on a certain driver” Lily asks and you’re starting to regret being a little too truthful with Lily.

“It’s just a teeny tiny one and it’s going to go away, this is all about supporting my brother” it was partly that, Phillip was all on his own during this early years as a driver, it’s nice to have family around.

“Why won’t you just ask him out?” Lily sounds frustrated about all this, to her all this looks very simple.

“Can we drop this and talk about your disaster of love life? Still sleeping with that professor” you ask with a teasing smile and Lily groans, hate being put on the spot.

“He’s barely a professor” “He’s 35” you retort and Lily is tempted to throw the water in your face.

The car starts feeling weird to Jungkook mid way through the race, between trying to get control of the car, he’s hit by someone and this causes him to lose all control on the brakes.

“Break fail! I have no control on the breaks” Jungkook’s panicked voice booms through the radio and everyone watches as he crashes into the side, taking two other cars out with him.

“Jungkook, are you okay?” his engineer asks and he groans, having hit his head pretty bad. The red flags are issued as an ambulance rushes to him, you shaking with nervousness as Jungkook is barely pulled out the car.

“We’re told from the medical officials that Jeon might be concussed, maybe even injured because of the sheer speed at which he hit the barriers. Let’s get a replay on the incident that caused this” the commentator says as you watch Phillip hit Jungkook on a turn, and him crashing the car at a dangerous speed.

You don’t notice the tears that well up in your eyes as you hear the ambulance sirens. Shutting your eyes, all you can see is the last few things you saw after your very ungraceful fall on the ice. Clutching your heart, you remember Phillip tightly clutching your hand as you were driven to the hospital, how every part of your body seared with pain. You open your eyes to stop reliving that day, but the massive tv’s in front of you focus on the ambulance that is driving a probably very injured Jungkook.

“Seriously, I want to be by myself right now” Jungkook’s getting a little irritated by all the people crowding his hotel room. He was a little woozy after the crash, but the doctor cleared him of any concussion, he just had a sprained wrist.

His team principal and trainer are the last to leave, checking on him for the millionth time. Jungkook sits up against the headrest as he checks some messages from other drivers checking up on him. You: Please text me when you’re fine Jungkook: I promise you I’m fine but can you still come and visit me :( You: Of course, which hospital are you at? Jungkook: I’m not at a hospital Jungkook: room no. 1011, I’ve left the door open for you

“Jungkook?” you ask knocking on his door and it swings open before he can answer, you’re not proud of it but you might have run up to his room.

The worried look on your face is still there as you gently pad over to him, Jungkook confusion grows as you wipe your tears.

“Hey, hey, ___, I’m not hurt at all. I fainted a little before but-” “You fainted?” you ask with a small voice as your big brown eyes look at him.

“It was because of dehydration” he says as he pulls you closer with one swift move, you sit opposite him, still shaking with fear.

“I know this is kind of a big ask, but can you stay here? Just for tonight?” Jungkook asks fiddling with your hand.

“You want me to?” you ask from beside him and he nods, your eyes are bloodshot red still, he doesn’t want you all by yourself right now.

All the lines are crossed that night as you cuddle closer to Jungkook. You know this isn’t going to end well, but right now you couldn’t care less. His hand is gently rubbing your back as your head lies on his chest.

Jungkook knows that you’re obviously working through something else, probably about your incident on the ice. The two of you never talk about it, Jungkook doesn’t know how to bring it up, or if he should ever bring it up. Jungkook knows that the situation is shitty, but he is happy about you being in his arms, he could get used to it

Race 8 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

“Why?” Jungkook asks as he’s walking to the Ferrari office. It’s a meeting and photoshoot heavy day for him.

“Because I have a job now, even if it’s sorting my father’s emails and arranging his meetings, I can’t be there every weekend” you explain calmly as you swivel around in your office chair.

“What’s your day like today?” he asks as a fan stops him for a picture, he’s becoming better at being popular as every race happens.

“We have a few apartment showings, so I’ll be shadowing him, start to figure out if I want to do this or not” you say sipping on your coffee, you’d been arriving early at the office to have some moments of peace before the chaos starts.

“What is your day like?” you ask him and he just grunts, knowing how bad it is to sit through meetings.

“I have a strategy meeting, another meeting with the communications team, lunch with a bunch of promoters and in the evening we’re shooting a bunch of videos for ferrari’s youtube channel” Jungkook reiterates his schedule for the day, and he’s already starting to feel tired.

“Press has just been awful since the last race, no wonder we’re having comms meeting two days in a row” Jungkook had been trying to stay away from the negative headlines but everyone was absolutely shitting on Phillip this week.

“They like pitting you and Phillip against each other, last week was all the ammunition they needed” you had been screening all the click baity articles, they were absolutely making Phillip lose his mind.

“Do you think he hit me on purpose or was I really in his blind spot?�� Jungkook asks opening the door to the conference room, most people are already here. Phillip is already slouched against a chair, looking defeated already.

“No comments” “Boo Freaking Hoo” he says and you can’t help but smile like a stupid idiot.

“Call me later if you can” you say and Jungkook hums a goodbye as he takes a seat opposite Phillip.

“So, lots of bad press, people are divided” Claudia says, placing down multiple article print outs and newspapers on the table.

“And thank you Phillip for snapping at the sky sports reporter, just handing them their headlines” this hasn’t been Phillip’s week, and he’s done with cameras and reporters.

“We need to take hold of the narrative or at least change it because the sponsors aren’t happy with the two drivers seemingly fighting each other. How about you go golfing or something this tuesday” Claudia suggests and Phillip immediately nods his head no.

“He can’t golf to save his life and I have my sister’s birthday party that day-” “So, just invite Jungkook, because I really need the news narrative to change” Claudia says with an authoritative tone, the two of them can’t even think about going against her.

“I don’t want to intrude on a family thing-” Jungkook sounds a little offended by the whole situation, mostly he’s a little ticked off about you not telling him about your coming birthday.

“It’s not, it’s a surprise party with a few friends, I was going to invite you anyway” Phillip says and Claudia smiles widely.

“This is sorted then, I need at least a story with the birthday girl on the two of your Instagram’s” The two of them are left alone as Claudia leaves, there’s still this animosity in the air.

“Just so we’re clear, I didn’t hit your car on purpose,” Phillip says, looking Jungkook square in his eyes.

“I know that,” Jungkook replies, a little too confidently. “How can you be so sure?” Phillip asks as he sits up straight.

“You’re competitive, not petty” Jungkook leaves with a big smirk on his face, he’s been enjoying the season so far a little too much.

You: P3!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! You: Still have that migraine? Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me about your birthday being next week? You: How’d you come to find out about it? You: Did Phillip tell you? You: He is throwing me a surprise party isn’t he? Jungkook: Wow you derived to the bottom of it pretty quickly Jungkook: I mean no, I don’t know of a party if there is one Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me? You: Because I’m not the kind of person who celebrates their birthday Jungkook: But there are other people who want to celebrate you turning twenty You: So, you just confirmed the surprise party Jungkook: If this get’s back to Phillip he might actually push me off the track intentionally this time You: Now I understand why Lily wanted to take me dress shopping You: Give me more details Jeon! Jungkook: I’m sorry I have no idea what you’re talking about

Race 9 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

It’s week two of the grand prix in Austria but Phillip is suspiciously in Monaco on Monday evening. “Why are you here?” you ask, dropping your handbag and a million other things you take to the office in the hallway.

“I know you know why I’m here because I know Maya sucks at keeping secrets, so just go up and get ready” he says flashing you a big smile. Phillip and you have always tried to celebrate birthdays, between him training and racing and you always practicing, there wasn’t always time to celebrate.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did this” you squeal with excitement when you see the decked-up ice rink, you’ve always wanted to celebrate on a ice rink.

You’re awed by the classy decoration, one would almost forget that this is an ice rink, a few of your friends already skating around.

“I love you!” you squeal like an excited thirteen-year-old as you hug Phillip, he has a genuine smile on his face too.

“Please be careful tho, I don’t like the smell of hospitals” Phillip says as you watch Maya walk up to you, a little uncharacteristically you hug her tightly too, knowing she had a big part in planning this.

“Girl!!! you look smoking hot, so glad you went with the black one!” Lily comments taking a long look at your dress, it was a simple bodycon with a huge slit up your left thigh.

Jungkook arrives sometime around midnight, right as Phillip walks up with a massive cake and sparklers. Jungkook watches from the crowd as your face lights up with delight, he’s truly never seen you this happy. Your smile is contagious, infectious, he always wants you smiling like you were when you shoveled cake in Phillip’s face.

“Staring a little too much are we?” Lily comments from beside Jungkook and he snaps out of it, turning around and flashes the familiar face a polite smile.

“Am I being too obvious?” Jungkook doesn’t try to deny the accusation as he sheepishly ruffles his hair again, a nervous tick.

“The two of you are hopeless, go on, talk to her” truth be told, Lily was getting a little tired of your pinning on Jungkook.

Jungkook’s a little powered up by Lily’s comment, maybe there could be something between the two of you. He’s hopeful as he approaches you, maybe it’s the whiskey getting to him.

“Happy Birthday” Jungkook whispers in your ear from behind you, you’re a little startled till he comes around with a smug look.

“Thank you for not telling me about this party!” you shout a little, leaning closer to him. The lights have been cranked down and the music is much louder now.

“Aren’t you going to go on the ice?” he asks and you look up and shake your head no.

“I don’t know if I’m there yet, I’m just happy being in a rink right now” you answer and he takes hold of your hand, leading you away from the crowd.

“I should be back there, dancing and drinking” you whine as the two of you make way to a dimly lit supply office.

“You’ll be back there in no time, I just want to savor the moment of giving you your gift” he says, finally coming to a stop. You hop on the desk, outreaching your hands for the gift.

To your amusement, he places a tiny box in your palms, looking at you expectantly. You gasp as you pick up the delicate ring from the box, it’s a simple gold ring with an ice skate designed in the middle.

Jungkook had prepared a speech in his mind, he had his reasons for why he had this ring made. But at that moment as he watched you slip the ring on your index finger, his mind went blank.

The silence is suffocating the two of you as Jungkook’s hand reaches over to play with the ring, he got your size almost right. His warm hands around the cold band are starting to sober you.

Wordlessly, you pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, stopping right as Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to brace himself.

“I was feeling so heartbroken about the figure skating chapter of my life ending, that’s all I’ve know of myself as, it has made me restless and anxious like never before, and this, is always going to remind me of that heartbreak” you say looking Jungkook straight in his eyes and his heart absolutely shatters, he can hear his heart breaking.

“I didn’t mean to-” you shush him by placing a single finger on his dry lips.

“But it also reminds me of some of the happiest moments of my life, it reminds me of my potential. If I could start skating at the age of four, I can start something new at the age of 20. It gives me hope, you give me hope” you whisper the last part your head rests on his chest. your arms circling around his waist.

Race 10 British Grand Prix 2020

The race in Silverstone has everyone on the paddock a little too excited, maybe it’s because of the upcoming two week summer break that everyone desperately needs. Jungkook is seated with Lando, Phillip and Daniel for another set of press conferences and he’s starting to understand why drivers hate press day so much.

“Question for Jungkook, the first half of the season is almost over and you’re up there on the drivers championship charts just behind Lewis Hamilton and just ahead of your teammate, how does it feel to be considered serious competition in your first year in F1?” a reporter asks, somehow complementing Jungkook and taking a dig at the other two drivers who haven’t had the best year so far.

“This is a very competitive sport by its nature and only 20 superbly skilled drivers get to drive a formula one car, and being able to be on this lineup is a dream come true for me. My first year so far has been filled with highs and lows and it’s surreal to me to be on the top of the list right now, but it all can change in a couple of races. Teams are constantly working on their skills and cars so we never know when the championship takes a turn, right now I’m at a place of cautiousness, a lot can happen over the span of 12 races” Jungkook answers calmly, and Phillip sits back, a little awed.

Phillip has been in the sport longer than Jungkook, but the way Jungkook handles and answers each ridiculous to serious question is motivating for him.

“This has been a very highly requested question, you drive under the number 14, what’s the significance behind it” you’ve been watching another set of interviews of Jungkook, apparently people just can’t have enough of him. Phillip is also very focused on the screen, wishing he was as charismatic as his team mate.

“It’s my mother’s birth date. She was vehemently against me going into racing, she was worried not just about my safety but she also didn’t want me working under this kind of pressure since a young age. Despite that, I made it here, and this was just a way to make her proud and spite her, just a little bit” Jungkook says confidently, making the female reporter chuckle and Phillip scoff.

“His PR manager really spun a great story for him” Phillip says snacking on some popcorn while you turn around to give him a weird look.

“You too drive under our mother’s birthdate” you state and Phillip rolls his eyes, something is definitely up with him.

“That’s because she died, it’s a dedication to her” Phillip says increasing the volume to listen to the interview properly.

“If you weren’t a f1 driver, what would you be doing today?” “I’d be a college student, probably getting a degree in computer science. During my year as a reserve driver, I did some soul searching to really think about a future outside of racing, and computer science is what I landed on” Jungkook says with a charming smile and you watch the interviewer literally swoon for him.

“Who in the hell does soul searching?” Phillip complains again and you turn around to get some answers from him.

“What is up with you today? I thought you liked Jungkook” you ask and he looks away with a guilty look.“I have this feeling that ferrari is pushing for him to win the world championship, they want the youngest driver to win the championship to be him” Phillip offers and you’re the one rolling your eyes this time.

“And why wouldn’t they, he’s smart, handsome, great with press, very skilled, drives fast, he’s the golden boy they’ve been looking for” Phillip has never felt this threatened by a team mate, but with Jungkook there’s something different.

“You’ve been reading too much of all that nonsense gossip, you’re a three time world champion, ferrari wants you to be a four time world champion too” you try and reassure Phillip but he just exhales.

Jungkook’s glad to be seeing his sister and Harper again during his week in the UK, he’s maybe been a little too homesick. Sora and her husband both work in London, and for once he can sleep at a place resembling something close to home rather than another hotel room, even if just for a night.

Sora and him stumble around the kitchen, making the most of their mother’s kimchi for their dinner. “So, who have you been texting all night? Want to talk about her?” Sora has a know it all smirk on her face as she watches Jungkook lock his phone and put it down on the table, screen down.

“Why would you assume that it’s a her?” Jungkook asks, filling the two of their shot glasses with soju.

“It can be a he, she, they for all I care, I know it’s someone you’re interested in romantically” Sora knows Jungkook well, a little too well for his liking.

“I’ve been conflicted about asking her out, I’m worried that she sees me just as a friend and by making a move, I’ll ruin a great friendship” Jungkook comes clean with it, it’d be nice to talk to someone about it.

“I got her this meaningful gift, and I thought she was going to kiss me, but she hugged me. Not that I’m complaining, but it confused me” Jungkook had been racking his brain ever since that night in Monaco, he never stopped thinking about it.

“And there’s this another layer of complexity, she’s related to someone I work with-” “Oh my god, you’re talking about ___” Sora explains loudly, almost waking Harper up.

“Why? How’d you even get to that?” “I saw the two of you during that race in Australia, you were all pissed and grumpy about retiring the car but you came and sat beside her and suddenly you weren’t so pissed off” Sora had made that observation pretty early on, and it makes Jungkook wonder if they haven’t been so lowkey about each other.

“___ likes you” Sora says it like it’s a fact of life, like the world wouldn’t make sense if it weren’t true.

“Make sure to not rub that know-it-all attitude on Harper and explain” Jungkook asks and Sora laughs boisterously.

“Remember when we had that dinner on a yacht, you had some mustard on your hand. A good friend would point it out, maybe even hand you a tissue. Someone who’s interested in you will just swipe the mustard off, like it’s the most natural and sensible thing to do, she wouldn’t cross that line if she wasn’t interested in you” Sora’s explanation leaves Jungkook utterly shocked, Australia was a long time ago, have you been interested in him all this time?

“Is it really that simple?” Jungkook asks, now directly drinking Soju from the bottle. “Love is simple Jungkook”

Summer Break 2020

Summer in Monaco is beautiful, everyone enjoys a host of activities in the mediterranean summer, not that Jungkook would know anything about it. All he’s done for the first week is exercise, train on his stimulator and rot in his apartment, and he’s savored every moment of not having an engagement or meeting.

“Am I travelling somewhere? Nope, I needed a break from airplanes and hotel rooms” Jungkook talks looking straight to his camera as he phenomenally loses a race in a video game. He’s streaming while playing on his stimulator, he used to do this a lot last year, now not so much.

You ring the bell to Jungkook’s apartment a few times but he doesn’t answer, you wonder if the passcode to his apartment is the same one he texted you a few months ago. In a moment of impatience and wanting to pee after a long flight, you type in the code and to your surprise the door opens.

Jungkook hears a door in his apartment close and sits up straight, very alert right now. Namjoon had been begging him to get some security cameras and right now he’s regretting not listening to him. The stream is still going as Jungkook jumps out the seat and gingerly walks out the room.

He picks up a random shoe as he knocks on the occupied bathroom door, what’s his plan with the shoe? He doesn’t know but at least he has something to protect himself with. The world feels like it’s in slow motion as the door swings open, Jungkook was expecting a robber but it’s you, with a very confused look.

“What is with the shoe?” “I thought someone broke into my place” Jungkook whispers, knowing the stream is still live.

“I’ll be back” he says and you follow him into his spare room, “Jungkook what is it-” he shuts you up real nice by placing his palm on your face.

“I have a twitch stream going, go wait in the living room” “Okay” you mumble against his hand and he can’t help but smile.

You feel rejuvenated after spending a week with your grandmother and Phillip, it’s hard to get some quality time with the family all over the place.

Your grandmother on your father’s side lived in the countryside outside London, still in the same house your father was raised in. You had some ulterior motives for flying to Monaco before your father and brother, you had some work to take care of at the office and second, you wanted to spend some time with Jungkook.

And if watching tv and eating too much food counts as quality time, you’ve been doing that all evening since you arrived this morning.

Your head is itching very close to Jungkook’s shoulder the more episodes of the office you watch. He feels your head flop on his chest somewhere before 9, he turns to find you deep in sleep.

If he was a good friend, he’d wake you up, maybe even offer to drive you back home. But he was someone with a lot of romantic yet confusing feelings for you, he gently picks you up.

Jungkook lays you on his bed, and tucks you in. He sits by the bed for a minute, taking in every detail of your face, Jungkook’s never noticed how beautiful your eyelashes are before this. He was tempted to lay in the bed beside you, but he does the right thing and struggles with falling asleep in the guest room.

“Oh come on, you’re flying out to France the day after tomorrow. It’ll be race after race, after this weekend! Please just say yes” you plead over the phone as you walk back from the office.

Jungkook wasn’t the clubbing type, neither were you. But seeing all your friends having the best time of their lives all summer was giving you fomo.

“It’s going to me Lily, Stuart, you and I. I got us access to this new club’s vip lounge and I need you to say yes” “Who’s Stuart?” Jungkook asks drying his hair with a towel.

“Lily’s situationship, can you pick me up from my place around 11, we can get a cab from here” Jungkook doesn’t like a lot about this plan, clubbing, going someplace after 11, paying for expensive bad drinks, but he whispers a yes anyway.

Jungkook rings the bell at your family’s townhouse right at 11 pm, you don’t need to know that he’s been waiting on the stoop for five minutes. Swinging the door open, you smile with delight as Jungkook brings forward his hand with the prettiest set of flowers.

“These are for me?” It's surprising because most people don’t show up with flowers before they go clubbing.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to come here empty handed” he makes the most unbelievable excuse, but you take the flowers anyway, you haven’t been given flowers, ever.

“I just need a minute to accessorise,” Jungkook isn’t listening the second he takes a good look at your very short, red dress.

“So, are you excited about getting back in the car?” you ask Jungkook as he takes a seat on the bed, through the vanity mirror you catch him staring.

“I’m thinking sneakers because heels are just impractical but it’s a fancy place so I want to be presentable” you say, bending a little with your back still facing him. Jungkook clears his throat nervously as you turn around, clearly having caught him checking you out.

“So, this is how I find out you’re an ass man?” his ears are blood red as you tease him.

Jungkook’s suspiciously quiet since you teased him, maybe you’re starting to feel bad about it. He makes some small talk with Stuart, but none with you.

“We’re going to get drinks, shots for everyone!” Lily and Stuart leave to get drinks the moment you get there, probably to make out in the bathroom.

“I am so sorry about earlier but please talk to me” you shout to Jungkook, sliding closer to him in the booth. The low lights and loud music are a reason enough for the two of you to be sitting so close.

“Sorry? I should be the one apologizing, it was inappropriate of me-” “I love how super sweet and nice you are, but I’d rather you check out my ass than anyone else's. Does that make sense?” you ask, sliding even closer, till your bare thigh is touching his.

This flusters Jungkook as he looks down sheepishly as he drapes an arm behind you. To your surprise, Stuart and Lily come back with not just shots, but also bottle service.

Around shot number 5 you pull Jungkook up, dancing with him off beat to a trendy pop song. Jungkook watches with loving eyes as Lily and you do a very bad job at dancing and singing to a song.

Jungkook doesn’t watch anymore as you stumble for the third time, he takes hold of you by your waist and the two of you stumble together, Jungkook’s pretty drunk himself.

“Your eyes sparkle, has someone ever told you that?” you had noticed this a long time ago, Jungkook has by far the most beautiful eyes ever.

“I want your eyes when you die” your seriousness makes Jungkook laugh like an idiot, him laughing like that makes you laugh like an idiot and it’s just a vicious cycle of laughter fuelled by vodka.

“I don’t want to go back to my empty home, can I stay with you?” you ask Jungkook as you lean his shoulder. There’s some music playing in the cab and your head is still spinning.

Jungkook has come to the realisation today that it’s hard to say no to you, mostly because of the soft smiles and pleading looks. You clutch onto his palm tightly as you struggle with walking on the cobblestone street.

“You’re sloshed” Jungkook states wrapping an arm around you, the heels were a mistake.

“You smell amazing” you whisper, starting to sober up as the elevator stops on his floor. Jungkook smiles sheepishly as he intertwines his hand with yours, doesn’t let go as the two of you walk into his dark apartment.

The events of the night as coming crashing back to you as you look Jungkook in the eyes, he has this confused look. Reaching over, you crease his stressed eyebrows and your hands drop to his neck, the two of you insanely close to each other.

The moment just feels right, with Jungkook’s arms circling you closer by the waist, you can’t help but lean into his lips, but right at the last second Jungkook turns his face around, your lips landing on his cheek.

“___, we’re wasted” he remarks breathing against your hair and you just nod.

“I have actual feelings for you, and I don’t want to sabotage my chance with you because we were drunk and made a mistake” it’s taking everything in Jungkook to not pin you against the wall and kiss your lips till he forgets how to breath.

“Can we go to bed?” you ask against his chest and he just nods, picking you up again.

Every limb in his body hurts as Jungkook shifts around in bed, he’s sweaty, uncomfortable and your head is nuzzled right in his chest. This isn’t like the time he woke up with you beside him after the accident, there isn’t any distance this time.

Jungkook squirms around and somehow turns the ac on, the cool wind makes you snuggle even closer to Jungkook’s hot body. He wants to detach himself from you and get some water, but since it’s been established that Jungkook is weak for you, he snuggles you back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up it because of pots banging in the kitchen, turning to his side he notices you’ve left the bed, again no one breaking into his place it’s just you.

The events of last night flash in his mind as he brushes his teeth, so many lines crossed, he’s worried that now you’re sober and awake, you regret them.

“So you didn’t have any groceries, all that was in your pantry was ramen and coffee so I made that. And I know you’re watching what you eat so there’s also a side of broccoli but I haven’t cooked broccoli before-“ Jungkook literally crashed you against the kitchen counter as his lips capture yours.

Jungkook kisses you with fervour and it takes you a second to process it, but soon enough your hands are tangled in his hair, biting his lip Jungkook has the most bashful smile as you pull away, absolutely needing to breath.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait any longer” he whispers against your lips as he kisses you again. Right there, as you are smiling against his lips, Jungkook understands what Sora said about love being simple. It’s simple because it’s meant to be, anything else just wouldn’t make sense.

Race 11 French Grand Prix 2020

As it turns out, the weekend of the race things get a little complicated, not between Jungkook and you. Some fan captured Jungkook and you on the way to his apartment and the pictures were all over the internet, the only bright side to the situation, you were the mystery girl, your face wasn’t captured in any of the blurry pictures.

“I’m sorry but I’m not releasing a personal statement, my personal life is none of people’s business and they shouldn’t have been photographing us in the first place” Jungkook says putting away the statement Claudia handed him.

“Okay but you keep it quiet if any reporters bring her up, and please for the love of god be careful.” Claudia leaves with that, she has more important things to take care of.

Namjoon sits back with disappointment, the fans and press are really having their time with this.

“Who was she?” his manager asks as Jungkook does some before race stretches, he’d usually play with a football outside but he’s in no mood for press or fans.

“Are you going to see her again?” Jungkook does answer this question with a simple nod.

“This isn’t like you, you aren’t the hooking up kind” “We didn’t hook up, hyung I really care about her and I don’t want our relationship to end even before it starts. Can you have the press go easy on this?” Jungkook pleads and Namjoon sighs standing up.

“I’ll try, maybe you’ll have to do a special interview with one. Give them something else to talk about”

Jungkook: it’s 10pm, where are you :((( You: Maya arranged a dinner to celebrate Phillip’s win, we’re on our way back to the hotel Jungkook: What about soothing my loss of coming second Jungkook: I had a thing planned You: I’ll be there in a few minutes, just stay put Jungkook: room 1202, I’m waiting

“So, we’re getting drinks with a few other drivers and their partners, wanna tag along?” Maya asks the four of you leave the restaurant. It was an amazing French delicacy restaurant but all you could focus on the entire time was being back at the hotel.

“I’ll just tag back with dad, we have a early flight and-“ “oh my god you are dating Jungkook aren’t you” Maya accuses you with a whisper as she pulls you aside.

“That’s just, um, how did you even, we aren’t dating Maya” you as a little frazzled by the accusation and Maya just gasps loudly.

“Because we bought that red dress together, you weren’t so sure, I thought you looked amazing, later we also had that conversation about me borrowing that dress and oh my god you’re dating him aren’t you” Maya accuses you and again you try and defend yourself.

“We aren’t, that night we just went clubbing, fell asleep at his apartment and kissed in the morning. But we absolutely aren’t dating” this isn’t you defending yourself, this is you spilling the beans the first chance you get.

“So, where do you guys stand now?” this question stuns you, you haven’t talked to him about the two of you since that morning. It’s too soon to ask that question.

“I don’t know but you can’t tell Phillip, he’ll go all big brother and I want to figure it out myself”

Jungkook’s suite is suspiciously quiet as you make your way in, things start to make sense as you catch Jungkook who’s fallen asleep while waiting for you. There’s also a table set with food, wine, candles and flowers right by him.

“Jungkook, come on let’s get you to bed” you say sitting by him as your fingers tap his cheek. He stirs awake right away, smiling when he realises it’s you.

“I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting, come on you’ll sprain your neck” you say as he sits up straight but Jungkook’s not listening to you. He just pulls you up with him and walks over to the set-up table.

“I thought we could have our first date tonight, even though you’ve eaten already and it’s too late for dinner” Jungkook whispers in your ear as he pulls a chair for you.

Jungkook lights up the candles and pour some wine before he takes the seat across you. “Now tell me, what’s your favourite color?” he asks as you laugh putting down your wine glass.

“Really, that’s the big opening question” “Yes, this is quintessential first date question, now tell me” he pleads with his glimmering eyes and you give in.

“Sage green, what about you?” you ask and he smiles looking down at his hands.

“Guess” “Blue?” you suggest and Jungkook really thinks about it, he’s never really thought about what his favourite color was, but the way you lit up when he nodded yes to your guess, it might as well be.

Race 12 Belgian Grand Prix

It’s a few days before the race, Tuesday to be precises and Jungkook has an invaluable off day with no schedule or work at all. He decided the best thing to do was explore the city of Brussels, with you.

Jungkook had the entire day planned, which started with a bright and early morning of exploring the city and it’s beautiful architecture. “So, is this our second date?” you ask Jungkook as the two of you put on sunglasses and hats before leaving the hotel, hopefully no pictures are taken this time.

“I guess” “Hopefully today tops the cold pasta and warm wine” you joke fixing his beanie.

“It was a spectacular first date! you laughed so hard you choked on that warm wine” he whines circling his arms around you.

“If you want a third or any more dates with me, promise me you’re never going to bring that up again” you whisper, leaning dangerously close to him.

“I’m making no such promises” Jungkook whispers before kissing you, every kiss with him is full of the same fervour as that morning.

“Come on, we have the city to explore” you say pushing his chest away and he groans, seizing the distance again.

“How about I explore every inch of your body instead” he says pulling on your earlobe just a little. The previous smile on your face is replaced by a tighter, forced one as you again push him back.

“As tempting as that offer is, we’d regret not making the most of the day” you say pulling him out the hotel room by his arm and Jungkook slides down his hand, intertwining it with yours.

The night was getting darker as the two of you walked back to the hotel, hand in hand. To put it simply, it had been one of the most perfect and romantic day and you were starting to dread having a difficult conversation with Jungkook.

“Hey, so, um, kinda wanted to come right out with it because it’s very embarrassing for me” you say and Jungkook stops in his tracks and quirks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook’s voice is laced with concern and you have to look away.

“Nothing is wrong per say, but, um like, how do I say it without me sounding like a complete weirdo?” “It can’t be that bad” Jungkook pleads and you scoff, knowing it’s a little bad.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend, not that I’m assuming that we are a couple. Since I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never been with someone, sexually. I just never had the chance before, and someone right never came along and now I’m this 20-year freak with no dating experience at all. I’d understand if you never want to see me again, I’d be fine with pretending we never-“

“___, breath” Jungkook says cradling your face and forcing you to see him in the eyes.

“You’re not some freak, you’re only 20 it’s natural to not be that experienced. We can take it at a pace you’re comfortable with, I promise I’ll be patient with you” Jungkook reassures you and you’re worries about this are starting to fade away.

“It’s just that I gave this speech to some other guy and he didn’t react so well” you say hugging him tightly.

“Well, give me that jerks name so I can punch him square in the face” Jungkook chuckles as he kisses the top of your head.

“If you’re going to go around punching people for me, I have a list” you laugh and Jungkook detaches himself, giving you a knowing look.

“What else are boyfriends for if not to punch people that have wronged their girlfriends”

You: Please be careful with the rain and all, I don’t want another incident Jungkook: I’ll try, if there is one just no crying this time You: I’ll try Jungkook: Also, when I win, if I say ‘yeah baby’ on the radio, know that I’m saying that to you You: ‘When’, little too cocky aren’t we Jeon Jungkook: You’re my girlfriend now, you have to support me, in cockiness and health

You’re a blushing mess as you re read Jungkook’s text, it’s a little unbelievable being called his girlfriend. Tonight, it’s just you, your books and the race on the tv.

“And there goes Jeon Jungkook, crossing the checkered flag a whole 5 seconds ahead of his teammate at P1, this win is puts him whole 12 points ahead of his teammate and at the top of the championship” the commentator cheers and the crowd goes wild.

“That’s P1 mate and at the top of the championship, you were stunningly fast this race!!” the team principal cheers on Jungkook through the radio as he doesn’t stop the random shouting out of joy.

“Thanks for the team, this car has been delivering race after race. So incredibly lucky to be driving a ferrari, seriously so fucking lucky. YEAH BABY!!!!!!” Jungkook cheers and you’re blushing so hard it’s embarrassing. Race 13 Netherlands Grand Prix 2020

“You’ve won seven races this season, eight if you win tomorrow, it must feel incredible to be this close to winning the championship” the reporter says and Jungkook chuckles looking away.

“Winning always feels incredible, things have been working out so positively for me that it feels surreal. Eight months ago I was thinking of giving up on my F1 dream and now I’m here and there are days when this doesn’t feel real” Jungkook says as Phillip comes around for his interview.

Things had been tense in the Ferrari garage to put it simply. There had been far too many strategy meetings out of which Phillip had stormed out of. He’d also made some comments regarding the team favouring Jungkook and devising strategy that helped Jungkook get closer to the championship, it had been a PR disaster.

“Now Phillip, Ferrari has clearly produced a winning car but you’ve had fierce competition from your team mate. Are you still hopeful about winning the championship?” another interviewer asks and Phillip tries very hard to not roll his eyes.

“Well Jeon is a fast driver and I could learn a few things about his break skills, but I have seven-year experience of driving on these tricky circuits so I’m hopeful” Phillip answers the way he’s been advised by his PR team, the interviewer can sense the fakeness in his tone.

“Ferrari has not historically been a team that gambles on young drivers but the bet they made on Jeon Jungkook is clearly working out. Now your contract is up to expire next year, do you feal threatened by the younger driver replacing you?” this time Phillip does roll his eyes.

“Ferrari isn’t in the game for gambling, they’re in the game for winning, and I win”

“Your brother called me pretty boy during a comms meeting, I was offended and delighted at the same time” Jungkook says placing his phone against the pillow, it was race day tomorrow he had to sleep early.

“Can we not talk about work, I don’t want you bitching about my brother. Phillip just got done bitching about you” you groan shuffling in bed yourself, you’d spent the entire Saturday studying and you were starting to get better.

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t like me? I’ve been nothing but nice to him” Jungkook groans and you sit up in bed and groan too.

“Phillip’s always been competitive, when we were little, he once made me cry after I won against him in chess. This isn’t your issue, it’s his” you say sighing with defeat, the better the season got for Jungkook, the worse it got for Phillip.

“How many men have made you cry ___? There are only so many punches I can throw” Jungkook tries and joke to make this situation a little less tense, he’s successful based on the way you’re smiling.

“I’m starting to miss you, luckily I’ll be there next week” “Starting to? You’re starting to miss me after two weeks?” Jungkook’s offended tone only makes you laugh harder and him more offended.

The race starts off fine, the race is almost a little boring till lap 30. “The two ferrari are once again one tenth of a second away from each other. The two drivers have been competing with each other all season and, OH turn 3 and Phillip tries and overtake Jeon but Jeon maintains his P1 position” the commentator says and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat as Phillip fails at overtaking again.

“Phillip box now, box now” “I’ll box after I’m done overtaking” Phillip yells over the radio and you wince, taking a big swig of your beer.

“Please the strategy is to maximize distance with competition and you need to box-“ “Shut up!” Phillip yells and manoeuvres an overtake and you gasp with shock as the two ferrari’s make contact.

“What is wrong with him?” Jungkook asks frustratingly over the radio as he somehow keeps the lead.

“Phillip please don’t damage the car, box now box now-“ “And the two ferrari’s make contact again, Jeon’s rear crashing with Phillip’s front wing, taking both the cars out” you look at the tv in shock, knowing this isn’t going to end well.

Jungkook’s searing red with anger as he walks into the garage, he takes quick strides towards Phillip who’s talking to an engineer and pushes him back by the shoulders.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jungkook shouts and the engineer stands between the two of them, not wanting any more of this happen on camera.

“Look I’m sorry, I should have listened to-“ “Damn right you should’ve! Your ego cost us so many points, FUCK!” Jungkook walks away as he notices the sheer amount of camera’s around them.

Race 14 Italian Grand Prix 2020

“I think I’m going to need the two of you to hold hands or kiss in public” Claudia says very seriously and Jungkook snickers, tired of this week already. It’s safe to say the press has been having their fun with the articles and headlines, to be fair the two of them handed them everything on a silver platter.

“This isn’t my problem, I wasn’t the one who attacked my car. I have been complaint with the decided strategy, even when it didn’t favour me, that’s because I know how to be a team player” Jungkook says standing up and putting his cap back on.

“He’s right, I just need to go through some difficult press questions and be done with this” Phillip says, stopping Jungkook in his tracks. It had been bad for Jungkook but it had been absolutely shitty for Phillip. Usually, Jungkook would be understand, maybe even sympathise but he’s angry still.

“I have a list of questions and answers prepared, the two of you will absolutely stick to it” Claudia says handing the two drivers a big stack of papers. Jungkook is ready to leave the garage when Phillip jogs up to him.

“Look, you were right, I let my ego get the best of me. Can we hash it out with dinner?” Phillip asks tapping Jungkook on his shoulder. “I have dinner plans with my girlfriend” Jungkook dismisses the proposal immediately and Phillip lets out a defeated sigh.

This has been the worst week of his life, and watching the office with you is a great escape. “Why are you so fidgety tonight?” Phillip asks as he plops on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn. There was only one reason for you being this fidgety, Jungkook had planned a romantic dinner, he picked out a restaurant and everything but you had to cancel last minute. Leaving Phillip while he’s a whinny, complaining mess was just not an option.

“I had coffee after 6” you dismiss shovelling a bunch of popcorn in your face.

You: I’m so sorry … You: I promise to make up for this, no matter what it takes You: Jungkook please respond to my texts

Another episode starts and Phillip sits up, wanting to ask you something all this while.

“so, um, I know you had a few therapy sessions after your incident. How did you go about it?” Phillip asks and you finally realise why he wanted to hang out, he was anxious about therapy.

“I’m still in therapy” you say and Phillip looks at you like he doesn’t believe you.

“Therapy can be a difficult, excruciating process, first they usually start with ‘Why do you think you’re here’” you say and Phillip sits up straight, really thinking the question through.

“I have some serious self-esteem issues, it sometimes feels like people give me their time of the day only when I’m successful, and that terrifies me of losing” Phillip’s honestly stuns you, he isn’t the kind to be vocal about his emotions.

“How did your first session go?” Phillip asks, as he turns to look at you.

“So much crying, I remember falling crying to sleep, the first few sessions would leave me exhausted” your head falls back with exhaustion just thinking about it.

“I feel like a bad sibling for letting you crying to sleep, I wish I was there for you” Phillip says reaching for your arm and patting it.

“You were there for me Phillip, and time went by and the thoughts in my head started terrorising me less and less every day.” You are getting a little chocked up just thinking about it, you can’t help but play with the ring signifying your past.

“But you have to be patient, even when the process feels like it’s pushing you to your limits. When it starts feeling like too much, you come to me and we’ll watch the office together” you say and Phillip smiles thankfully.

Phillip leaves after a while, mumbling something about having to call Maya and you’re still stuck on the sofa. Jungkook hasn’t responded to any of your texts and you can already imagine the first fight. Playing with the key card to his hotel room, you’ve missed him so much and a fight is worth having if you get to see him.

His room is pitch dark as it always is as he falls asleep, and you stubbing your toe against the table is enough to wake him up. Jungkook groans as he sits up, resting his naked torso against the headboard. Dodging his eyes you slide into bed beside him, the stiff silence in the room making you anxious.

“Phillip has been in a terrible condition and I just couldn’t tell him I had plans when he wanted to talk to me” you say and Jungkook sighs, turning his head towards you.

“I understand ___” Jungkook says as his hand intertwines with yours.

“You do?” your voice is laced with extreme shock, not expecting this response at all.

“Yes, did I want to spend some quality time with you, also yes” Jungkook says and you turn to face him too.

“How about, tomorrow, we wake up bright and early and have a breakfast date before practice?” you ask and Jungkook answers with a soft kiss. The kiss just intensifies as Jungkook pulls you in his laps, his hands grasping your waist tightly.

Things are starting to get hot and heavy, you can feel his bulge against your centre and it’s driving you insane. Jungkook snaps out of it as your nails leaves some marks around his neck.

“___” he whispers your name as his forehead rests on yours, his hot breath fanning your flushed cheeks.

“We should go back to sleep if we want to be up early tomorrow” Jungkook can’t believe the sheer restraint he’s showing. The two of you snuggle as close as humanly possible and Jungkook sighs against your hair, tonight he’s fine with just getting to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 15 Singapore Grand Prix 2020

“How does it feel being back in Singapore? You left an impressive mark as a mercedes reserve driver just a year ago and now you’re second on the drivers’ championship, what a year it has been” the interviewer asks and Jungkook smiles widely, thinking back to his year.

“Singapore is always going to be special to me and after the win last weekend the team and I are trying to maximize out chances for the championship” Jungkook answers and another interviewer stands up to ask another question.

“Talking about team, how is the tension in the Ferrari garage after the incident in Netherlands?” Jungkook was expecting this question, and Phillip tenses up beside him the second he clears his throat to answer it.

“Well, tensions can be high in this sport when the difference between P1 and P2 are hundredth of second, but we’re working on keeping it civil, Phillip and I are in couples therapy of sorts” Jungkook adlibs the last part, but based on the approving smile Claudia gives, he did good.

“Hey, can we talk?” Phillip asks as they’re leaving the press conference. Jungkook just mutters a sure as they quietly walk to the Ferrari garage.

“I never really apologised to you” Phillip says sitting opposite the Jungkook, the hospitality area is empty after the practice.

“You don’t need to” “No, I do need to. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’m been an absolute piece of shit” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles, trying to ease the situation.

“Since I fucked up my chances at the championship this year. I’m not going to block you, anymore” this is uncharacteristic for Phillip, Jungkook doesn’t know if he’s being serious or not.

“Phillip, I’ve admired you as a driver because of how competitive you are. And our competition is what makes racing fun, I don’t want you to stop fighting till the end” Jungkook says and Phillip chuckles, crossing his legs.

“Let’s just steer away from costing the team millions in damages, but there are seven races left, anything can happen” “You’re a polite motherfucker, game on Jeon”

Jungkook is back at the podium after a difficult race, he was sweaty, exhausted but it’s nothing compared to being drenched by champagne.

He spots you cheering and sends a wink your way, all he wishes was for a congratulatory kiss from you, a kiss that tells the entire world that you are with him.

But he waits till he’s back at your hotel room, pinning you against a wall, he hungrily kisses you, his hot hands wandering under your shirt.

“Take off your shirt” you whisper in his ear, tugging on the red ferrari polo. Jungkook toned abdomen distracts you for a second, and Jungkook takes advantage of it, unbuttoning your shirt.

“___ are you sure? We can wait” his question makes you contemplate for a full few seconds.

“How about we test the waters instead” “Third base?” Jungkook asks picking you up as your legs wrap around him instinctually.

Jungkook sits on the bed, you still on his lap as he takes a quick look at you, you seem to shiver with anticipation for what’s about to happen.

“Have I told you just how pretty you are” he says pushing some of your hair out of your face.

“You have, but right now I need you to lay back so I can suck your dick” you surprise him by pushing him back in bed.

“I’m going to fall in love with you if you keep talking like that” he moans lightly at the last part as you cup his bulge. “That’s the plan baby”

Jungkook is not so gently tugging on your nipple as another finger enters you, making you moan even louder. Your hips are shaking with an orgasm as Jungkook reaches for you lips, kissing them gently. Exhausted after the activities of this night, he plops on the bed beside you, the two of you still breathing very heavily.

There’s comfortable silence as Jungkook stands up and returns with a clean towel, wiping you off and getting you some water.

“___, baby, please say something, I’m kinda starting to freak out. You have this stoic look and I don’t know if you regret what just happened-“ “I don’t, I just can’t think straight still” you say standing up and slipping on one of his t-shirt.

“So, you don’t regret it?” he asks sitting back on the bed.

“Of course, I don’t, I’ve just, um, this is new to me and I don’t know how to react and I’m so exhausted and can I just say, the thing you did with your tongue, WOW” you say sitting on his lap and circling your arms around him.

“I could say the same ___, about the tongue thing” Jungkook confesses as his neck flushes, just thinking about the earlier events.

“Kook, I’m glad you were my first about tonight, and will be many more of my firsts for more things. If you were any other guy, you’d be impatient, needy, definitely wouldn’t have waited three months to go third base. So, thank you for being patient, kind, caring and so fucking handsome it’s unreal” you say and Jungkook breaks another one of his shy smiles, they’re pretty rare so you savour them.

Race 16 Japanese Grand Prix 2020

There’s a camera on the study table as you step out the washroom, still drying your hair.

“What’s with the camera?” you ask Jungkook who’s sorting the two of your luggage in the closet. There was a week off and while most drivers chose to fly home, Jungkook had convinced you into a four-day trip in South Korea.

“I want to document our first trip, now come on we have to be places” the camera focuses on you for the most time as the two of you explore Seoul, you might have to fly back just for the food.

The inevitable happens during day 2 in Seoul, Jungkook’s spotted and asked for some pictures. Now you understand why Jungkook insisted on you wearing a mask and cap, because you just take a few steps away from him, letting people take as many pictures as they can.

“I’m so sorry guys but I’m out with my girlfriend” Jungkook says to the enthusiastic group of people. He jogs up to you, intertwines his hand with yours and kind of pulls you along.

“Why’d you do that?” you ask as you sit in the rented car beside him. “Do what?” Jungkook asks sheepishly, knowing exactly what you’re asking him.

“Announce to the world that you have a girlfriend” “I think you just answered my question” you check twitter a few hours later, and of course the biggest mystery is who is the ferrari golden boy dating.

“Did it hurt?” you ask as your fingers gently hover around the first tattoo Jungkook just got.

“Hurt when I fell from heaven?” he jokes and you scoff getting out of your boots.

“The tattoo you dumbass,” “I like dumbass more than baby, but I did almost like a constant ant bite, not too severe but present” Jungkook says as you fall back on the bed, a little too tired from todays walking around.

“I’ve always wanted one but I can never commit” you say tracing lines on your arm, thinking of exactly what tattoo you want.

“I made a pact with myself, every time I go through something difficult, once the difficult part is over, I’d get a tattoo. To remind myself of the pain but also to have something that symbolised me getting through it” he says plopping on the bed beside you, and you turn pushing some of his hair away.

“What difficult part compelled this one?” “June last year, my racing future was looking pretty bleak. I couldn’t afford another year of being a reserve driver after 13 years of time and money invested to get me to Formula 1. I was terrified and anxious, wondering what the next year was going to look like, and by luck I was given one saving chance. And a year later, I’m in love, driving for ferrari and in the lead for the championship” Jungkook’s voice and eyes both hold you in place, with a magnetic hold.

“You love me?” you whisper and Jungkook snaps out of it, realising what he just blurted out.

“I have for some time now, I was waiting for the right time and I guess today is it. ___ I know we’re taking it slow and there’s no kind of pressure-“ he stops talking when a big bright smile appears on your face, the same one he saw the morning he kissed you.

“I love you Jungkook” you say throwing your arms around him and pulling him closer for a kiss and a million others.

Apparently, the complete paddock saw the thousands of tweets speculating the identity of Jungkook’s girlfriend. A usually boring driver’s parade in Japan is turned into a speculative morning with a million questions for him.

“How long has it been going on?” Lando asks and Phillip nods enthusiastically, wanting a scoop of gossip too.

“Five months” Jungkook answers nonchalantly and Lando is hooting immediately.

“Five months? How come she hasn’t been at the paddock yet” Phillip asks and Jungkook is a little stunned, having to decide between how much he has to lie.

“We’re just kinda taking it slow, and with press and fans involved it can get intense” Jungkook answers honestly, omission isn’t lying.

“That is pretty smart, one day you’re in a chill romantic relationship, next day all of the internet is too involved in everything you do” Phillip speaks from experience.

“How’d you meet each other?” Lando shoots another question and Jungkook smiles tightly, knowing he can’t get away from them.

“Common friends” Jungkook is kinda right about this, at least that’s what he tells himself.

“Jesus, you can’t even just think of her without smiling, can you?” Phillip say smacking his shoulder ever so slightly.

“I’m in love” Jungkook confesses like a love sick idiot, glad to be talking about you with someone other than Sora.

Race 17 United States Grand Prix 2020

“I have exams next week, I’m sorry if I can’t drop everything and be in Vegas with you” you say on the phone and Jungkook groans getting out the car.

“But I thought we could blow stupid amount of money on crap we don’t need, and when we do get sloshed, I would have kissed you this time” he says locking the car as he follows one of the manager that leads him up to his room.

“As tempting as a sloppy make out sounds, you know how bad I’m at history. And if you want a well educated girlfriend with a respected job in the future, you’ll stop whining, get changed into something classy and go out and have some fun” Jungkook can imagine you sitting sternly as you say that.

“Okay, fine, I’ll go out with Lando and we’ll gamble a stupid amount of money, will that make you happy” Jungkook says as the manager hands him the hotel room key with a big smile.

“Oh so happy, but remember to buy me something expensive with all the money you win”

“How can you be so sure that I’m going to be winning tonight?” he asks as he opens the hotel room, dropping his bag in the hallway.

“Honey, you’re going to be winning tonight” Jungkook doesn’t just hear your voice from the phone, he also hears it from the room in the suite.

“I thought you had to study” Jungkook whispers, not believing you are sitting in his bed.

“And I thought we could play strip notecard game, every answer I get wrong you remove an article of clothing” you say pointing to the huge stack of notecards you’ve been studying through.

“That isn’t right, you’ll just be answering wrong on purpose” he says sitting on the and pulling you closer by your chin.

“There’s a twist, for every five answers I get wrong, you add back another layer of clothing” you say pecking his lips, ever so gently.

You are starting to regret the romantic, sexy, fun game because you forgot to factor in your boyfriends stupid level of competitiveness. “Come on baby, you’re one wrong answer away from me putting back my jeans” he teases as you continue to huff about the difficult question, getting more and more worried about the coming test.

“Oh! I am so infuriated by you right now, it’s past mid night, we should have already had sex by now” you complain as you scoot closer to him and swat the notecards away from him.

“I’m not losing this game ___” he says as you sliding even closer, eventually landing back in his lap.

“You hate losing, don’t you?” you ask grinding against his growing hard dick.

“I do, but I also-“ Jungkook stops talking the second you slide off your sweater that’s been hiding your naked tits.

“I think I’m going to be winning this one” you whisper against his ear, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek and pulling back.

“Baby, I don’t think I’m going to be hypnotised by your tits, this terrible game just proved how much you need to be studying, and jesus christ” he whispers the last part as cup one of your breasts, and Jungkook knows he’s lost this game.

“I might be losing this one but first, I’m going to fuck you till you see the stars for teasing me all night. And second, we’re going to sit down and study because I can’t have you failing on my watch” Jungkook says flipping you around and pinning you down.

“Failing, like you’re failing right now” you say and he groans as his lips hover over yours.

“I love how cocky you are” “More than you love me?” you ask daringly as his lips touch yours.

“Nothing is bigger than my love for you ___” that’s the last thing Jungkook says before he accomplishes the task of turning you into a moaning and shaking mess.

“I wanted us to go to a male strip show but Phillip is being a little bitch about it” Maya says as the two of you walk to the ferrari hospitality for the race.

“How about we tell him that we’re going shopping and sneak out and catch a sexy little show” you suggest and Maya scoffs.

“Phillip knows me too well, he’s going to know I’m lying” “Well, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission” you say as the two of you sit down on a sofa.

“Is that your strategy with dating Jungkook and not telling Phillip about it” she gives you a pointed look as she says that, Maya has tried her best to not pester you about it, but she’s getting concerned.

“It is the 21st century, I don’t need anyone permission to date anyone-“ “As much as I love a good feminist rant, you and I both know it’s not about permission but rather keeping things from your brother. Important things like dating his team mate, who he’s had a sort of turbulent relationship, and they’re finally getting along” Maya says as the two of you look at the two drivers discussing something pre-race.

“I know, that’s why Jungkook and I have decided to tell him after the final race. Once the season is over and everyone is a little relaxed, then maybe we four could even do a trip to the Bahamas” Jungkook and you had talked about this, extensively.

“Jungkook wanted to come clean earlier, but we’re just in this romantic cocoon and everything feels so right and we don’t want to change anything, for as long as we can” you say and Maya smiles supportively, she can absolutely understand the romantic bliss you’re in right now.

“He’s the one isn’t he” Maya asks and you’re too distracted to answer her, Jungkook and you hold each other’s eyes through the distance and it’s hard to look away.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2020

It was exam week, and you were starting to give up on the idea of college. The night before the test, you remembered exactly why you dropped out in the first place, but you don’t have to time to freak out, you need to be studying.

“___?” your father ass knocking on your door. He comes in and places a warm cup of hot coco on your desk.

“It’s just an exam” he says running a hand through the hair you might have been pulling on too much.

“But what if I fail at this too” you say, biting your lip as an attempt to not cry. Your father sighs, sitting across you on your bed.

“You didn’t fail at figure skating, you cracked half your body giving your best and you’re still sitting here, that’s not failure honey. You’ve given your best before a million times before during each competition, I’m sure you can do it again” these words of reassurance are all you needed, your father isn’t the biggest touchy feely person, but tonight he is.

“And you are too fiercely independent to be someone’s trophy wife, so I have the utmost faith in you” he says as he again ruffles your hair, trying to soothe you a little.

“That is the best compliment I’ve received, ever” you are feeling a little better after talking to him and the warm cup of coco, you’re not as anxious as you drift off to sleep.

Jungkook knows he should be mediating right now, it’s his pre-race ritual that he sticks to religiously. But today he’s all sorts of distracted, waiting for a text or call from you. Today was the last exam and during the week, there’s been a few texts from you, he understands that you’re busy. But he still got his hopes up about a sweet good luck text.

Usually there’s quietness from Phillip’s side of the driver room, but today he seems to be talking to someone. The voices aren’t clear but Jungkook hears a ‘I told you it was going to be fine’, he assumed Phillip is on call with you and sticks his ear to the shared wall, not one of Jungkook’s proudest moment.

“I can’t believe the questions were so easy, I was kinda prepared for the worse” Jungkook’s suspicious are proven right when he hears your voice through the wall, making him feel a little less stupid about this.

Jungkook shakes with surprise when his phone vibrates against his thigh, You: I know you’re deep in your meditation right now, so I’m not going to disturb you. You: Good luck on the race! Please be safe ❤️ You: I love you ❤️ You: And I crushed my tests, like you told me I was going to You: I’ll see you in Brazil ❤️

Jungkook doesn’t reply right away, too distracted blushing over the fact that you were indeed thinking of him.

“My father has always been a major racing fan, and he’d take my sister and I karting all the time, somewhere along the way I started doing it competitively and here I am” Jungkook answers the podcasters question of how he got into racing.

“What about you sister?” “She found her computer more interesting, she works in big data now” Jungkook answers jokingly. They go back and forth about this season, team, other teams, strategy and other technical stuff.

“You’ve had one of the most phenomenal F1 debut in the history, and the build up has been keeping everyone on their heels. What does it mean to win the championship this year?”

“Everything, it literally has been building up for 13 years. This was an incomprehensible dream to me just a year ago, there are some days when I wake up wondering if this has all been a very vivid dream” Jungkook says and the host nods knowingly.

“How is your relationship with Ferrari looking like, they signed you for two years last year, do you think this relationship is going to extend” they ask and Jungkook chuckles, sitting up straight.

“I think I’ve done everything in my ability to prove to ferrari that I’m a driver worth having on their team, and right now the future looks positive” Jungkook says, alluding to a possible contract extension.

“We’ve covered your racing career extensively, how about a few questions about your personal life” the host asks and Jungkook smirks, knowing this was coming all this time.

“You were spotted with your girlfriend in Seoul and not since, is the relationship over” “It’s the opposite, we are in a very relationship, we just want to stay away from the cameras and media for as long as possible. The attention on me has been immense since I started with Ferrari, while I absolutely am grateful for the fans love and attention, I also have this wish to protect her for all kinds of attention that comes along with dating me” Jungkook answers and the host sits up with another question.

“You haven’t invited her to the paddock yet, will she be here cheering for you winning in Abu Dhabi?” “We haven’t discussed it yet, but wherever she is, she’ll be cheering for me” Jungkook answers pragmatically, giving away as least information as he can.

Race 19 Brazilian Grand Prix 2020

“Put the white t-shirt down Kook” you threaten him jokingly as he down put down the t-shirt. After persuading Jungkook for a mere few seconds, he’d agreed for you to help him shop. He’s been wearing ferrari merch like uniform and desperately needs help, as you put it gently.

“We can get a white t-shirt, but not the plain kind, something with waffling that looks classy by itself but also great under a blazer or jacket” you say picking up another thing for Jungkook to try on.

“What kinda clothes do you want?” you ask and he hums with wonderment.

“I like your style, shirts, knit sweaters, also that half zipper jumper you love, I need multiple of those” he says feeling a sweater and you stand there, delighted.

“Also, a few straight fit jeans, I’m bored of the skinny ones, and a chunky pair of sneakers, also a good bomber jacket” the list of stuff Jungkook wants just rolls off his tongue, and you snicker, thinking back to his earlier statement of ‘I don’t need new stuff’

“What about you? New handbag? Boots?” “I was thinking a skirt, now that the surgery scars on my thigh are fading, I want to try skirts again” you mention and Jungkook eye’s light up immediately, pulling you to the women’s section.

“Baby I want you to dress however you feel comfortable, but I’d also like to make a formal request to add skirts back in your rotation” Jungkook pleads as you spin around to give him a good look of the leather skirt.

The two of you sigh with exhaustion as you sit down on the park bench, Jungkook’s arm immediately comes around your shoulder, your face nestling on his chest.

After a long morning of shopping, you surprised him with a fancy dinner at a restaurant, a rare event for two of you together. You feel contentment as you feel his warmth, contentment is something you haven’t felt in a while.

Turning to look up at him, you smile lifting your face to look him in the eyes. “Why don’t you ever ask me about my accident?” you have been wondering about this for a while now.

He bites his lip as he thinks his answer through, “I’ve wanted to, but I also don’t want you to think of the accident again” he answers truthfully, and to his surprise you smile encouragingly.

“Ask me, I really want you to know” “How did it happen?” a simple question has you back on the ice.

You tell him about the night before an important competition, you had a complicated routine and wanted to practice a few times before the morning came. The ice rink was especially quiet as you slid across, calming yourself with a few deep breaths you begin the routine effortlessly. Everything feels natural till it comes to the triple axel, you knew you were doing it wrong the second your feet were off the ground, falling flat on your face.

You felt some blood on your lips, your nose was possibly bleeding but you attempted the jump again and failing, concussing yourself. By the third attempt you were crying because of frustration and fear for tomorrow, but you end back on your feet, having handed a perfect triple axel.

“So, you landed the move?” Jungkook asks with confusion, this is not what he was expecting.

“I did, and I was confident as I left the rink, but I was also very concussed. Nothing felt off till I walked to the stairs to get out the centre, I was holding on to something as I was lightheaded, one miss step and I was barrelling down the stairs, that’s what injured me” you say as you remember shutting your eyes with pain as you lay on the cold concrete, multiple parts of your body feeling broken.

“A maintenance worker found me bleeding and next thing I remembered was Phillip sobbing as he called out my name” you say and other tear escapes your eyes, his warm hand, wipes it away again.

“I was so happy being able to do a graceful triple axel and down went my dreams” you whisper snuggling even closer to him.

“I had a broken back, shattered hip and bleeding from my head but I’m still here, it could’ve been worse. I could have died if I bled out on that concrete floor for another hour” you shudder thinking about the what could haves of that night.

Jungkook doesn’t know if his words could ever comfort you, so he kisses your forehead as he wipes away another string of tears.

Race 20 Qatar Grand Prix 2020

“___, I have to leave for qualifying soon, I can’t be late” Jungkook complains as you look for something in your luggage. You’d just landed in Qatar and came straight to his hotel room.

“I know for a fact that you have another half hour to spare, so sit your ass down” your sternness does make him sit on the bed, usually he likes to get to the garage a little earlier than expected, but not today.

He looks at you with confusion as you place a small velvet box in his hands. Opening it, he discovers a dainty silver chain, and his confusion just grows.

“I was 15 and it was my first time competing at the Olympic level. Apparently, in figure skating wearing a necklace is considered a good luck charm, but I didn’t have one before the competition. So, my mother removed this chain and put it around my neck, I made a ring out of the pendent, and the chain is a very late birthday present for you” you explain with a soft smile.

“It indeed turned out to be a good luck charm for me, and now it’s yours” you continue and the endeared smile on his face only grows.

“This is too personal, don’t you want to keep something your late mother gave you?” he asks closing the box and his hands reach for yours.

“I want you to have my good luck charm, especially when I’ll too busy to attend your races because I’ll be busy at university next few years” you had already started with university interviews and were hopeful.

“Years? You think we’re in it for the long haul?” Jungkook asks and you mumble a simple yes and a hopeful smile.

“I think so too” Jungkook whispers as he kisses your lips, today he could care less about being late.

Race 21 Saudi Arabian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook was cornered into a meeting with Namjoon and Claudia after the race. He didn’t know what to expect as he walked into that office but the stoic look on their faces didn’t sit right with him.

“Congratulations on the win” Claudia says as he takes the seat opposite him.

“Thanks” Jungkook says picking up the envelope Claudia put in front of him. He gingerly opens the envelope, and to his surprise, it contains a few blurry pictures of you and him at a restaurant, possibly from Brazil.

“Is that ___ Lee and you?” Claudia asks and Jungkook nods, putting the pictures down.

“Are you dating ___?” she asks and he mumbles a yes, not understanding the point of all this.

“Break up” she says strictly and Jungkook looks at her with bafflement, expecting for her to explain.

“I just got done dealing with all sorts of articles pitting Phillip and you against each other, a sponsor almost pulled out after all that bad press we got after you almost fighting Phillip in front of camera’s. We’re exhausted with the gossip, so break up with ___” she explains standing up, ready to leave.

“Ferrari is willing to discuss the terms of your contract extension once this is done” those are the last things Claudia says before she leaves.

Jungkook and Namjoon have been sitting in silence for long enough for it to start feeling awkward.

“So, ferrari is threatening me to break up with ___?” Jungkook asks, still not done processing the earlier conversation.

“They wouldn’t have cared if you were dating anyone other than your team mates sister, why didn’t you tell me?” Namjoon asks, massaging his forehead.

“Why didn’t I tell you what? That I’m dating ___ or that I’m dating my team mates sister” Jungkook asks raising his voice a little.

“You know it’s the latter, if not you’d have told me. You knew this could’ve been an issue, that why you hid it from me Jungkook” Namjoon reasons, staying as calm as ever.

“I’m sorry but I’m not doing that” Jungkook protest, standing up.

“Let me give you a scenario, you don’t comply, ferrari doesn’t extend their contract with you so all of next year you’re treated as their number 2 driver who doesn’t win the championship, out of a contract, your relationship with ferrari absolutely ruined. A top team will be sceptical signing you, given how ferrari didn’t have confidence in you because of a two-year contract. You end up at a mid-field team, the car’s okay, but not world championship winning, you spend another two, maybe three years with them, again out of a contract. What is your next step? To be out of a seat again by 25 because you stood up to Ferrari?” Namjoon’s voice is a decibel louder than it usually is.

“You’re willing to throw it all away for love? For someone you’ve loved for less than a year? You’ve loved racing for 13 fucking years Jeon Jungkook!” Namjoon says standing up too, wanting Jungkook to understand this, loud and clear.

“Jungkook you’re young, ask her to wait a few years” Namjoon asks softly, noticing how red and watery Jungkook’s eyes are.

“If it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other” Namjoon tries and comfort him with a soft pat on his arm.

Jungkook feels sick as he walks into his hotel room, you seem to have fallen asleep, the food you ordered for the two of you long cold. Just the image of you sleeping calmly in his bed is freaking him out, rushing to the restroom, he splashes his face, not knowing what to do next.

“Kook?” you call out for his name, him coming into the room having woke you up.

“Go back to sleep, I need a quick shower” Jungkook shouts from the restroom, not wanting to look you in the eyes right now.

Jungkook picks up your book and takes off your glasses as he gets back to bed, his hands softly caressing your face but he snaps himself out of it.

He’s wide awake as he slides in the bed, he keeps a respectful distance but you cease it all by cuddling into his chest.

“Did something come up?” you ask as your face presses into his naked chest.

“Kinda, did you have dinner?” Jungkook asks and you nod a yes.

“Did you?” you ask looking up as your eyes barely open.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Jungkook says and you force your eyes open, to get a good look at him.

“Do you want some water, medicine?” “I just need to sleep it off” Jungkook whispers as he nuzzles even closer. He can deal with his issues tomorrow, tonight he just wants to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2020

Jungkook: I got you a separate hotel room, I really need some time by myself and I don’t want us to fight about this Jungkook: Just get the key card from reception You: Why are you pushing me away? Jungkook: I’m not pushing you away, tomorrow is one of the most important race of my life. I don’t think I’m asking too much by wanting some time by myself You: You aren’t asking for too much, it’s just so unlike you and it worries me Jungkook: Well don’t, I’ll see you in the morning You: Call me if you can’t sleep Jungkook: Thanks

Jungkook feels sick to his stomach as he rereads the text exchange between the two of you. He hasn’t been able to breath properly since the comms meeting last weekend, it might have affected his qualifying today as he starts tomorrows race at P7, not at a winning position.

Jungkook knows what he has to do, he just can’t bring himself to do something he though he’d never have to do.

Like promised you do see him in the morning, more like late afternoon once he’d done training. One good look at him and you can see he’s not been sleeping well.

“Jungkook, you’re starting to scare me, what’s wrong?” you ask taking a seat on the bed beside him.

“Last week, Ferrari agreed to extend my contract” he prefaces with good news before he unleashes the ugly truth.

“Isn’t that good news” you ask as your hand comes up to caress his cheek, to your surprise he flinches because of your touch.

“They had some stipulation, well one to be exact” he whispers looking at his hands shamefully as you retract your hand. Jungkook’s trying his best to form the next sentence in his mind, wanting it to come across as gently as it can.

“Kook, whatever it is, it must be worth agreeing to. Driving for Ferrari has been your dream, just say yes” your soft voice triggers another set of tears in his eyes.

“Is it worth agreeing to if I lose you in the process?” he asks looking you in the eyes and watches as you bite your lip with confusion, wanting him to explain.

“They want me to break up with you, they don’t want me dating my teammate’s sister because they don’t want any more gossip or bad press and I wanted to scoff in their faces, I really did. But I-“ he’s at a loss of words when he notices the tears in your eyes too.

“___ I don’t want to do this, but I don’t want to throw my career away for love and later regret that” Jungkook pleads as you stand up to get away from him.

“Okay” you whisper, “Okay? You’re okay with this-“ “How the fuck can I be okay with this but it seems like you and I don’t have a say in this matter, DO WE?” you yell as your eyes turn red with anger.

“___, please-“ “Do I want you to fight them and keep dating me, yes. But between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having any say in it, and it’s painful and frustrates the life out of me, so please for the love you have for me, let me go” you can’t help but be rational about this, seeing him like this is making your heart hurt.

His eyes are fixed at you as he watches you, he wants you to fight for this relationship. “The idea of letting you go hurts too much ___” he says as he stands up too, taking small steps till he’s face to face with you.

No words could encompass every emotion you’re feeling, reaching onto him one last time, you bring his face closer to yours, his forehead touching yours.

“I love you” you whisper one last time and Jungkook ceases all the distance, his lips kissing you with desperation. You can taste the salty tears on his lips as you peck him one last time before pulling away.

The kisses turn into a tight hug and as each second passes, Jungkook knows he has a second less with you. He kisses the top of your head as your tears stain his polo. The moment is interpreted by loud knocks, followed by Namjoon’s voice.

“Jungkook, we’re ready to leave for the race” his manager announces and Jungkook sighs, pulling you even closer.

“Promise me something” you ask as you begrudgingly pull away. “Win the championship tonight” you ask and he sighs with defeat, he’s not in a headspace to driver, or even win.

“And remember, that’ll I’ll aways be cheering for you” you say as you leave a soft kiss on his cheek before you walk out that hotel room.

“Jungkook last two laps, you’ve .1 second away from Hamilton” the engineer announces over radio and Jungkook zooms through, fighting to overtake.

“And Jeon manoeuvres another overtake at turn 3, AND HE OVERTAKES THE MERCEDES” the crowd cheers as Jungkook zoom’s through entering the last lap. Usually when he’s inside the car, his mind is blank, only focus being driving. But tonight, as he zooms through, a montage of the last six months of his life is on replay once again.

“Jeon Jungkook you are the 2020 World Champion!!!” his engineer is practically yelling on radio as the montage starts to disappear in his mind.

His face is stained with tears as he gets rid of the balaclava, for a minute he’s overcome with joy as he team hugs with shouts and cheers. But it all starts to come crashing to him as he’s standing on the podium, looking around and not seeing your face in the crowd.

As he returns to the empty hotel room, Jungkook feels like the biggest loser. He reaches for the velvet diary you gifted him early this season. His finger traces the little note you left on the first page. Whether you win or lose, it’s going to be okay!

Phillip’s 30th Birthday (2022)

The Monaco breeze sends a chill down your spine as you take Christian’s hand as he guides you up the yacht. You watch as the water glimmers under the late evening sun, Christian’s hand still on the small of your back as you make small talk with some acquaintance.

“So, congratulations on the pregnancy” you whisper to Maya as she’s chokes on the tiramisu.

“How’d you kno- I’m not showing yet, am I? I haven’t told Phillip yet and it’s a big surprise for him, and shut up!” Maya is clearly a little panicked about the complete ordeal.

“Again, how did you know?” Maya asks as you pass her a wicked smile, sipping on your champagne.

“You weren’t drinking and I took a shot in the dark, oh my god you’re really pregnant” you’re starting to freak out just thinking about it, and your freaking out does not help Maya. The freaking out doesn’t last for too long as you see a familiar face walk across from you.

“So, I didn’t tell you Jungkook was invited because I didn’t want you to cancel” Maya says and you turn to give her a look of disappointment.

“You never told me why you guys broke up?” Maya asks as you watch as Jungkook looks over at your side and you dodge his eyes.

“We were just fighting a lot, and we knew I was going to be busy with university and wouldn’t be able to see him as often. Breaking up seemed like the natural thing” you lie through your teeth as you down another glass of champagne.

Before Maya can shoot another question towards you, you notice Christian go up to Jungkook and talk to him.

“Christian, I think I should introduce you to some of my cousins” you say desperately, trying to stop your ex and your present boyfriend from talking.

Jungkook holds your eyes for a little too long, you haven’t seen him in the eyes since that night in Abu Dhabi and it’s hard to look away.

“Of course, darling, we were just talking about the upcoming race in Monaco. I think we should attend it” Christian’s arm comes around your waist as he says that and Jungkook has to physically look away.

“I’d be great but I have midterms in a week” you answer noticing how familiar the sweater Jungkook is wearing, it’s the half zipper you helped him pick out.

“Midterms? What university did you get accepted into?” Jungkook asks and Christian answers before you can, “University of Oxford, we met on ___’s first day. She was late for her first lecture, I was rushing to submit an assignment. We collided into each other; her coffee ruined my project. To make up for it, she offered to buy me dinner and the rest is history” Christian says the last part as he turns to look at you lovingly, but there’s just a uncomfortable smile on your lips. Jungkook has a million questions to ask you, but seeing you with some other man is making him sick.

“Well good talking to you” Christian says cheerfully as you tug on his arm again.

“Likewise,” Jungkook says with a small voice, as he watches the two of you walk away.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

A rush of memories come back to yobtu as Maya and you walk into the Ferrari hospitality. You haven’t been on the paddock since Jungkook and you broke up, and you’re here today only because it’s Phillip’s final race. Maya had a tumultuous pregnancy, and after Phillip missed the birth of his son, it was decided, he was going to retire. He’d had a good ten years as a driver, now it was the time for him to be a father.

“Hey, I’m going to go look for Phillip” Maya says as she walks off with baby Aiden. You are a little fidgety as you take a seat, not wanting to see Jungkook but at the same time also wanting to see him.

To your surprise, Jungkook walks in, hand in hand with Ava, his girlfriend now for a year. Ava and him met during an Armani photoshoot, the two of them hit it off right away.

Jungkook keeps her at an arm’s length as he goes around talking to a few people, you keep eyes on them like a creepy ex-girlfriend, wondering if this is what he’d been like you with publicly.

It's when Jungkook’s hand goes up to massage his neck that you notice the shining silver chain around his neck, why would he keep it after all these years? Or more importantly, why would he wear it after all these years?

The after party is a little out of control, the ferrari people are celebrating two things, Phillip retiring and Jungkook winning the championship for the third time.

“So, you’re graduating this spring?” A random dude in the club asks as he leans even closer to you.

“Yeah, with a degree in education” you say as your eyes wander around the club for a familiar place, you spot Jungkook by the bar.

He’s not by himself, he whisper’s something in Ava’s ear and she turn around to punch him on his shoulder and lean in for a kiss. That sight is enough for you to be done with this night, making your way out the crowd is difficult but you manage it somehow. You’re almost out the club when someone tug’s on your wrist.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook asks but doesn’t wait for your response as he’s pulling you someplace quiet.

“Congratulations” you mutter and he smiles dropping your wrist. Jungkook changed so much over the last four years, his hair is longer, his face seems mature, his left forearm is full of tattoos, he looks like a champion in his fancy clothes.

“Where’s Christian?” Jungkook asks the question that he’s been waiting to ask since he spotted you in the ferrari garage earlier today.

“He proposed so I cheated on him, because I was too much of a coward to break up with him. I was an ugly, messy end” you don’t have any filter as you talk to him, maybe it’s the vodka you chugged earlier today. His lips are agape with bafflement as he stares at you, not knowing what to say.

“Just tell me it’s going to be fine” you say with a teasing smile, repeating something you said to him years ago.

“I’m sure it’s going to be fine” Jungkook mutters with a wide smile, thinking back to 20 year old you, because 24 year old you is so different it’s hard to recognise.

You keep your naturally long hair in a bob now, so many piercings along your right ear, you dress in mostly darker colours now instead of the pastels you favoured earlier.

“Seriously, I’m so happy for you. Three championships you wouldn’t have won if you didn’t break up with me, two actually” you try and joke but your tone is a little too serious.

“Don’t say that” he whispers looking down at your hands and noticing the missing golden ring.

“It’s the bitter truth tho, how are you and Ava? You guys in love?” you ask bitterly, taking a step away from him.

“___, don’t make me feel guilty about moving on-“ “I’m not trying to, I’m just frustrated that you can move on as if we never happened and I’m still stuck feeling broken because I can’t get over you!” you shout as the tears start to well up in your eyes again.

Jungkook wants to reach out, pull you into a tight hug, whisper how everything is going to be fine, but he doesn’t. He has Ava now, and reaching out to you like this would just give you false hope. Instead, he watches as you walk away again.

Spring 2025, Phillip and Maya’s wedding

“You guys were supposed to sleep apart the night before the wedding!” you bark as the couple as you break into their hotel room.

The couple just groans as they barely life of the bed, you’re just thankful none of them is naked.

“I snuck in because Maya was freaking out about getting married” Phillip whispers as he’s clearly hungover.

“You’ve been dating for over seven years, have a four year child, how the fuck are you nervous about getting married?” you shout and Maya springs up in bed, “Oh my god! Where’s Aiden?”

“He’s with your parents, seriously how much did you guys drink-oh my god five bottles of wine!” you shout some more as you spot the bottles by the bed.

This immediately triggers Maya’s tears, she’s clearly very hungover too.

“I’m going to be hungover on my wedding day” Maya cries and Phillip turns to glare at you, like her being hungover is your doing and not his.

“I’m going to get you a smoothie that’ll either fix your hungover or make you throw up and not be sick anymore. Phillip, get out, the makeup and hair people are going to be here soon, and please for the love for your son, no more crying till the wedding. Got it?” you ask with a stern voice and the couple nods with uncertainty.

You thought you had delt with the last of today’s problem but there’s a nth knock on your hotel room.

“Who’s it?” you shout struggling with the zipper of your dress, another thing to add to your drawbacks of being single.

“Jungkook” he says as he nervously ruffles his hair again, had he been looking forward to seeing you all weekend? Yes. Does the idea of seeing you make him incredibly nervous? Also, yes.

You swing the door open with confusion and are met with Jungkook holding up a tie he’s obviously been struggling with.

“You’re the only person I could think of to ask for help” he says and you smile and nod letting him in, weirdly enough you back into the room with your front facing him.

“I thought you were bringing Ava?” you ask leaning against the door, taking deep breaths to calm yourself.

“Ava and I broke up, long long time ago, a year ago” Jungkook says as he stands by the bed, watching as you stay fixed by the door.

You whisper a ‘oh’ as you walk towards him. Jungkook can’t believes he’s in an another hotel room with you, he had convinced himself this was never going to happen again.

“I can help you with your tie only after you zip up my dress,” you say turning around and exposing your bareback to him.

Jungkook’s dazed for a second but he snaps himself out of it as you take all your hair towards the side. The movement earns a surprised gasp from Jungkook.

“You got a tattoo?” he says and finger has a mind of his own as it traces your soft skin, making you flinch under his touch.

“You got a hand flipping of on your lower neck?” he asks with amusement as he zips up your dress quickly.

“I was so drunk and I thought it would be a great idea to get this, so that I was flipping off everyone behind me. How’d they allow people so drunk they need subtitles to understand get a tattoo is beyond me” you grumble about that stupid night is college again, no matter how fun it was, it was stupid.

“A stupid but kinda cute tattoo is part of the college experience ___, I’m just glad you weren’t holed up in your apartment every night, crying while reading a book” he teases and you snatch the tie away from him.

“You only walked in on me sobbing while reading a book once-“ “Twice actually” he corrects you as you move closer to raise his collars, bantering just like in the past.

A quietness blankets the room again as you hand sternly tie the tie around his neck. Jungkook’s looking away, this proximity feels like too much. “About the last time we talked-“ Jungkook’s interrupted by more rapid knocking on your door.

“Phillip is missing, I can’t find Phillip, oh my god he ran away!” you recognise the voice that belongs to one of Phillip’s groomsmen.

“I, um, have to take care of that” you whisper looking in Jungkook’s eyes as you take a step away from him.

“Of course,” he says tightening the tie and fixing his jacket.

“Phillip’s not missing, you check with Maya’s parents because he might probably be with Aiden. I’ll go and kick his ass if he’s getting Maya drunk again” you spring into action mode, somehow running in 4-inch heels.

You’re thankful about the waterproof mascara as Phillip and Maya exchange their vows. It was a beautiful ceremony, the sun was setting as they walked off as husband and wife. As the night gets darker people start to get more liquored up. Walking up to the couple, you pull the two of them in a tight hug, “I can’t believe you stupid idiots are married!”

“Can you not call us stupid on out wedding day?” Phillip grumbles and you chuckle sarcastically.

“Sure, I can’t believe you morons are married” “Talking of morons, have you talked to Jungkook yet” Maya says and you grumble snatching her drink.

“I can’t believe you told him” you say giving Maya a pointed look.

“Husbands and wives aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other” Phillip announces, a little too happy about this.

“Maybe we should tell Phillip about the time you stuffed ones into a very chiselled man’s-“ “Why are you going around ruining people’s relationships because your love life is miserable” Maya raises her voice just a little as she shuts you up, gathering attention from a few people around.

“Hey, my love life isn’t miserable I’m dating myself, oh who am I kidding. I haven’t been on a date in three months” you grumble snatching Phillip’s drink too and he just look at you with concern.

“Maybe you should go talk to him, and stop stealing people’s drinks” Phillip says as he pulls Maya along with him. Turning to face the rest on the party, you spot Jungkook talking to a woman on his table.

Jungkook finally gets rid of the woman who’s been eating his ear off for most of the reception, maybe his mother is right, he’s too polite. Jungkook scans the room for you, and not to his surprise you’ve escaped the party. But it doesn’t take him too long to find you, Jungkook spots you on the other side of the lawn, sitting on a park bench.

Knowing you startle easy, he clears his throat to let you know of his presence. You give him a shy smile as you watch him walk up to you.

“Can I have a dance?” he asks as he offers you a hand. You had almost forgotten the feeling on his warm rough hands against yours and you take his offer. The band switches to a soft romantic song right on que, like it fated to be, or more like Jungkook slipped them some money to do that.

The two of you savour the moment, a rare sweet moment. Your cheek rests against his chest while his arm snakes around your waist as you sway together. He gets a hit of your perfume and it’s the same soft, vanilla sent and it’s making him lose his train of thoughts.

“You were wrong” he mutters, gaining some courage to talk to you.

“Wrong about what?” you ask, moving your head to look up at him.

“Ava and I weren’t in love, she or any other woman was a mere distraction to not keep reminding me of you shaped hole in my heart” he whispers as he watches your chest heave.

“I have an arm full of tattoos because ever few months I’d delude myself into thinking I’m over you, get a tattoo to symbolise it and then a week later be back to zero” Jungkook says this for the first time out loud. The look on your face is unreadable, maybe he’s lost his chance with you.

Jungkook drops his arm from around you and takes a step back, wanting to respect you.

“I’m sorry for bringing up old wounds, when it comes to you I always manage to do the wrong this” Jungkook can already feel a migraine coming as he thinks of all the overthinking he’s going to be doing. This finally evokes an emotion in you, a frown but still an emotion.

“You didn’t do something wrong when you broke up with me Jungkook, you have to stop beating yourself up about it. You were put in a corner, and that was the only solution to the problem” you say as your hands come up to cradle his face.

“Sure, I was irrationally angry with you for a while, but then I’d see you win during a race and feel like maybe the pain was worth it” you say with a twinkle in your eyes and Jungkook chuckles looking down.

“And you kept winning, I have some suspicion that Phillip partly retired because he was sick of you and the South Korean national anthem after most races” you say in attempts to ease the tense moment and this does make him smile.

“I had my suspicions about that too, but I didn’t bring it up because I’m sure Phillip would’ve punched me” Jungkook says snaking his arms back around you.

“That was smart of you, Phillip would have punched you square in your pretty face” you say as you lean your cheek back against his chest.

“Pretty still? I think it’s more ruggedly handsome face now” he whines as the two of you start swaying again.

“Sure, Phillip would’ve punched your ruggedly handsome face” you give up and hear another round of chuckles from his side.

“I missed you” you say as you bring your arms around him, and just like that the twinkling is back to his eyes, maybe he still is pretty face.

“I love you, I mean I missed you, FUCK!” Jungkook shuts his eyes, the migraine is starting to assault his senses but the rapidly blinks his eyes when he hears your boisterous laughter.

“Is my misery funny to you Ms Lee?” he asks pulling you closer and you just nod, mouthing a very.

“If you were any other man who’d said what you just did, I’d be running out of here. But lucky for you, I never stopped loving you” you say as you lean in for a kiss, and with just one singular kiss it feels like the last few painful years never happened.

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