#phil is going to sell them to fit

[genevawrenn]

These two bring out the worst in each other I love them

[dontcryminecraft]

red team purgatory day one

half of red team isn't here, nobody knows how to actually PLAY MINECRAFT, and the only person remotely good at pvp here is philza. Carre carries everyone and is off doing his own thing. Even IF the other half of the team is there, the only person i can accurately gauge the ability of is WILBUR, and i have zero faith in his skills lol. Everyone is realizing how much they're going to have to stream, and some will have to change their schedules in order to play effectively. Charlie doesn't stream for 5 hours, but he has to be here for all of this, and it becomes VERY CLEAR, VERY QUICKLY, WHY HE DOESN'T. His voice is dead and he is unravelling at the seams. He hates it here more than anyone. only half of his breakdown is a joke. They're drying. Cellbit and Slime had ENOUGH and just beat each other with sticks. They're devolving and screaming about how much they hate this and they're manic and their arms feel numb and tingly and badboyhalo keeps killing them and they keep dying and life hates them. Jaiden told badboyhalo to kill himself. In a fit of rage they declared that they no longer care about the eggs and they'd rather just go home. They're planning on logging in on Monday only to build a house and start Egg Island Survival LetsPlay where they make an Emerald Empire and only respond in Villiager Hrmms. now they're sing/screaming as their base burns around them, and i can't tell what they're supposed to be singing but they kept repeating "say something I'm giving up on you" and someone started playing the Living TombStone FNAF song. Phil got a globe and gifted everyone a fidget toy to spin and they're just sitting and spinning. Baghera just realized that Phil already had all the saplings they need and she wasted her time, so Phil took off his armor so the two can could fight. Baghera lost even though she had a diamond sword, so Phil just let her kill him so she can be happy. Corpses scatter across their yard. They're killing each other. I started typing this with 20 minutes left and I'm witnessing the longest fucking 20 minutes of my life how is there still 7-whatever minutes left??? CELLBIT JUST CONFESSED TO THE MURDERS AND THEY'RE CONFESSING TO THEIR SINS NOW???? I CAN'T TELL IF CHARLIE'S CONFESSION ABOUT JUANAFLIPPA AND THE CODE IS CANON???? Charlie suggests a cannibalism arc and everyone wants to go absolutely FERAL and cellbit it trying to act normal about that idea and kinda fails at it. And it all ends with everyone being banned to enforce the 5-hour rule. We're Free...for today. And despite this, they don't want to change teams and they're actually looking forward to suffering with friends :) ...nevermind they're planning on selling wilbur to get a better advantage.

[alchemicaladarna]

You know what. No. I'm making my own happy ending. No one's dead/dying. I think the Eggs, after a year of growing up and learning from their experiences on Quesadilla Island, decided they want to have their own life, see the world, and pursue their own adventures. Maybe some parents went with them, maybe some didn't and are waiting for the day they can be reunited with their families again.

This is a bit silly, but I like to imagine that the Capybaras are with the eggs to keep them safe on their journeys (like maybe Dansir is with Dapper and Pomme) and that now Leo is the Queen of the Mystical Capybaras, she's flying across the world with her Capybara royal court and checking up on her siblings.

Maybe Dapper and Pomme are continuing to adventure across the world and learn everything about magic and science! Maybe q!Bad with the help of Pomme's French parents finally got enough money to send them both to university XD

Maybe Pomme also becomes a world renowned best-selling author. Her novels are inspired by her experiences on the island, and her stories touch the hearts of so many people.

Maybe Richas is with them, continuing their Late Night Trio adventures. Or maybe he's exploring the world with his parents. Seeing all the sights and becoming a world famous artist too. People will flock from all over the world just to see his art >:D

Pepito will probably have his own Taco shop/restaurant. "Pepito's famous tacos" or something along those lines!

Same with Chayanne owning his very own restaurant and becoming this world famous chef and streamer Lullah, Phil, and Missa are of course, regular customers at the restaurant.

I like to imagine Lullah is exploring the world too- flying around and continuing to help people, especially with her music and stories!

Maybe Ramon is also in university now with Dapper- studying engineering and of course, learning from the best- his Pai Pac and Tio Mike! (Sidenote: q!Fit and q!Pac finally settled down to a peaceful life away from the chaos and lived happy ever after)

Sunny probably opened her own business with the help of q!Tubbo and the rest of her parents who she finally met. Maybe she started her own fashion line!

Empanada probably opened her own family bakery with her moms- making everyone's mornings and breakfasts just a little bit sweeter and brighter (and after years of waiting and slow burn pining q!Bagi and q!Tina also got their own happily ever after)

Even though Chunsik is still quite young, maybe he's also travelling across the world with his parents or some of his siblings. :D

Bobby, Juanaflippa, Trump, and Tilin are all watching over them wherever they are- guiding them and keeping them safe, along with q!Maxo and q!Jaiden.

And despite all of them living across the world, all the parents, tios, tias, and eggs all reunite at least once a year and share their stories and adventures!

Wherever they are, wherever they end up going, the love and the memories from Quesadilla Island are still there. And will always remain.

Thank you qsmp. Thank you eggs. Thank you admins. Thank you to everyone who has been part of this wonderful journey. Wishing all the best in the next chapter of your stories.

Thank you for the love and the memories <333

[pseudophan]

Hi! I am very very new to the Dan and Phil world. A friend of a friend had a spare ticket to their Oslo show and I went along. This was my very first Dan and Phil experience. I had heard their names, but went in completely blind after all who doesn't love a theatre trip to a foreign country. I had a wonderful time, even if I didn't really understand a lot of the backstory it was so much fun, and i thought i sort of had it worked out. I have come home and binged their content now, but the more I watch, the more confused I am. I watched the Anthony Padilla Dan interview tonight and that was the point where I thought I need help. I was advised head here, pick someone nice and avoid twitter so here I am. When I was watching the show in Oslo, it seemed to me that it was the most married unmarried couple ever, having fun together on stage, poking fun at all the crazy that they had faced together over the years, however the more I indulge in their content the more I am confused as to what is real or not. Is the whole stage couple thing just an act? Were they together but now not? Have I misunderstood the whole show? That Anthony interview Dan seemed to be saying he was very single and ready to find a man, so I am very very lost. Google was no help. I don't want to over step but after watching them perform on stage, they seemed completely infatuated and in love with each other and in recent videos i watched. It is all very confusing. Whatever they are, they know how to put on a show. They have a new fan in me, albeit a slightly confused one. Hope you don't think I am overstepping.

first of all, that's an insane introduction to dan and phil and i love it. i was also at the oslo show! it was a good one

as for your question, well you see the thing is dan howell is chronically full of shit. that time period was a bit weird and he was a bit annoying and he had this "single and ready to mingle" bit going, god knows why cause it wasn't very believable, but.. idk, i think perhaps it was a mix of just that fitting his brand of "comedian" better and him desperately wanting to get away from the Dan And Phil label, but because he couldn't ever fully commit to it it just fell flat imo. like you can't be on youtube and on stage claiming you're single and wanna fuck around while also appearing in your boyfriend's videos acting married as fuck, it just doesn't work. and please no one start up that godforsaken open relationship debate again cause it's just not relevant, he wasn't selling open relationship he was selling single lol, at least in that anthony interview

but like all that said i don't really think he was trying to sell it to the phannies or any of his most hardcore fans, and i think that's exactly why he was willing to appear in phil's videos still showing a completely different, much more real, side of himself. the whole Single Dan On The Prowl thing was for himself and for random people who happened to be watching, more casual members of the audience

there's a looot more to be said about dan and the way he wants to be viewed, he talks about it himself a bit in the new show but you probably don't remember it that well if you saw it as an outsider like it's hardly the most memorable part of.. all of that haha, but basically to answer your question: dan's just kinda like that sometimes. you get used to it. or maybe you won't have to since he seems ready to finally maybe potentially possibly drop some of the pretence and just.... be. or he'll change his mind again and be back to bullshitting in a few months you honestly never know with that guy

but yeah dan in that era... grain of salt is all. it's just a persona and a desperate plea to be viewed as something, anything other than Dan From Dan And Phil. it's just kind of hard to get away from that when the other half of your double act is also your life partner, you know?

[anarachussy]

DAN AND PHIL TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR REVIEW. NO MAJOR SPOILERS (but you have been warned)

General: Absolutely hilarious, even if you have no clue who they are. The humor is very well balanced between goofy and raunchy.

Technical elements were incredible. If you have epilepsy uhhh well.. The set was very fitting for the purposes of the show. They had an aesthetic in mind, and they killed it.

One of the biggest draws of the show is their dynamic. I have never seen two people build off each other on stage as well as they do. You can very clearly tell they are partners before performers, and the level of comfortableness they have with each other enhances the experience.

Another huge selling point of the show is its interactive nature. The audience is literally vital to the show, and that is an incredibly good feeling to have as a viewer. They make you feel special, because to them you are special. It’s very fitting to have that level of engagement as influencers, especially ones with such a dedicated fanbase.

The atmosphere is absolutely unreal.

Before the show I had lost excitement over seeing it, as I had no friends that really watched them, so I thought I’d be lonely. Every video advertising the show Dan and Phil said something along the lines of “meet new people!” “You can go alone and still have a great time!” “You could bring your mom!” I kinda brushed it off as them trying to encourage sales.

They are telling the truth.

I have never witnessed such a level of kindness, friendliness, acceptance, and overall joy in one room in my life. I sat down and immediately the entire row started introducing themselves. The people next to me commented along with me. I sighed a copy of YWGTTN and took pictures with other fans. (I was somehow in the TikTok where it’s like: I hope they “play hot to go!” And I was like “this is Dan and Phil”.)

The connection between fans is hands down the most important part of this show. If you are going to see the show and you are maybe a little self conscious, you have absolutely nothing to worry about, you will feel loved.

Individually:

Dan is a phenomenal performer. He has a MASSIVE presence on stage, even when he isn’t yapping. His movements, especially his dancing, are VERY clean, you know he knows what he’s doing. He is a master at crowd work. You can tell he loves it.

Phil’s it factor is his energy. He perfectly balances out Dan’s chaos, sometimes with his own chaos. He is effortlessly funny, and his comedic timing is impeccable. He is genuinely such a lovely person, and he radiates the level of positivity people need. Incredibly infectious. You can also tell he loves it.

Minor criticisms:

I personally would have liked the confession segment to last a little longer.

I feel like Act 2 could have had maybe one more segment, but hey man it was also 10:45 at night, Phil needs to get to bed.

That’s it. The show was great.

[dnpbeats]

part of the reason i feel like a tour wouldn’t sell as well these days isn’t just because their audience is smaller, but also because their audience is older. when their viewers were teenagers, the people buying tickets for the most part weren’t also paying rent and buying food and paying off loans. but now that the majority people who would buy tickets are broke people in their 20s, fewer people have the disposable income to buy tickets (due to The Economy™️). idk im not an expert but the reason im not on the tour hill is just that i feel like it would be a really bad investment for them and they know that

also another weirder reason the older/smaller audience makes me feel that tickets wouldn’t sell is that i wonder if people just have fewer people to go with too… back during tatinof i had a bunch of phannie friends irl because we were all 14 so we all went to the show together, but now if they toured id have to go alone and i feel like that would deter a lot of casual fans. i think wad was different because it was just dan so it was like a singular comedy performance that the audience didn’t need any context for, but a dan and phil show would be a Dan And Phil Experience and i can’t really imagine people who don’t care much about dan and phil deciding to go

anyways i don’t really have a point to this i’ve just been thinking about it and wanted to put my thoughts somewhere sorry lol

good point!! I had the same thoughts abt a tour and everyone being adults now (like that ppl now have jobs and have to actually budget and stuff lmao), but then I couldn’t really figure out how that fit in with wad. But you make a good point about how wad would’ve been more accessible to casual fans (and potentially ppl who don’t know who Dan is?? Though idk if that was actually the case) whereas this would really only interest their core audience. It’s def a catch 22 bc on the one hand ppl aren’t reliant on their parents to go anymore but on the other hand a lot of ppl can’t just drop $200 on tickets (plus travel/accommodations if need be) whereas before u could just beg your parents 💀

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Well, THAT's definitely big...

Jennifer Lee has stepped down as Chief Creative Officer of Walt Disney Animation Studios, following two genuine box office losses in STRANGE WORLD and WISH, in addition to several directors and staff leaving, some of which criticizing what the studio's output and workflow has become...

A decision she was apparently largely behind, herself, as she wants to continue her career as a director/writer/filmmaker and not lead a studio's creative process...

Taking her place is Jared Bush, who was a co-director and writer on ZOOTOPIA with Byron Howard and Rich Moore (both of them were considered to lead Disney Animation in 2018 when John Lasseter was being ousted), then graduated to director (no "co") on ENCANTO, and is confirmed to be the director of ZOOTOPIA 2. In addition to that, he did some script stuff for MOANA, and served as part of the studio's creative leadership for about a decade, his earliest WDAS credit being BIG HERO 6. Elsewhere in the Mouse domain, he co-created Disney TV Animation's PENN ZERO: PART-TIME HERO with former WDAS staffer Sam Levine, who was at one point set to direct the video game adventure movie that later evolved into WRECK-IT RALPH.

A lot of his prior work, curiously, was in network TV. Very little in animation, though. He got to WDAS when BIG HERO 6 was in the works, and immediately became part of the leadership there. Contrast that with Lee, whose only film/TV media credit prior to arriving at WDAS in 2011-ish to work on WRECK-IT RALPH's script was... A 2004 short film called A THOUSAND WORDS, which another RALPH writer - Phil Johnston - wrote and directed. Must've been a real referral! Soon after, Lee found herself writer and director on FROZEN, directing alongside veteran Chris Buck of TARZAN and SURF'S UP fame. That movie was a troubled-as-hell production, stuff was changed and re-arranged at the very last minute, it goes on to become the highest grossing animated movie (holding the title for nearly 6 years) and a worldwide phenomenon... And Disney Animation's first Oscar for Best Animated Feature winner.

So after that, after her story work on ZOOTOPIA, and after her exec roles on other movies, they made her CCO while she was deep in production on FROZEN II. Which despite being an equally troubled production where many last-minute changes were made, was still a huge box office smash... COVID-19 definitely hit her run as CCO like a freight train, as I do think RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON and ENCANTO would've fared well at the box office w/o a pandemic going on. The latter won the BAF Oscar and was a monster success on Disney+ in addition to having a 2x Platinum-selling soundtrack in the U.S. alone. I myself also feel that those two films are the strongest movies released during her tenure.

But even the good seemed to be marred by a lot of the things that were evident in Lasseter's tenure: Last-minute changes to things and upending whole movies the closer they get to the finish line, director removals and swaperoos (RAYA, particularly)... and much more caving to the focus groups. I also feel that Lee's storytelling instincts seemed to translate to "Well let's do every movie like FROZEN. The same kinda tone, art style, dialogue, etc." When it doesn't fit every movie, especially when they're going for genres that aren't what FROZEN is. I'd imagine it's the rest of the leadership too, and who she has to answer to and work with. Lasseter seemed to know how to skirt around focus groups for the most part, which could explain why some of the Lee-era movies just lack any kind of bite or even any kind of distinct directorial vision. When I hear stories like "The WISH co-director's 7-year-old kid got scared by the original ending, so they changed it", I do not approve. I don't think that's a good way of doing things. I kinda got the sense that she was unsure of herself being the leader and maybe trusted others over her own instincts... Thus her choosing to step down and focus on FROZEN III & IV and other projects checks out honestly.

The structure there has to change, really, no matter if Lee or Bush are leading the filmmaking charge. WDAS needs to worry less about living up to their legacy, and think more about creating new and dynamic kinds of movies that build a legacy in the first place. Like the way Walt himself and his crew did. That being said, Bush I think is a decent choice, with his experience and whatnot, he may do the leader thing just fine. MOANA 2 is likely the end of the Lee era then, as it's only two months away from release. ZOOTOPIA 2 is already in full production, as evidenced by the scene shown at D23 last month, so is that bridge to the Bush era? Or does little change under his role as CCO? Sometimes a filmmaker being CCO means the movies made by multiple people end up suiting that person's vision. And can lead to things being homogeneous.

We'll have to see, but it's a huge development nonetheless.

Lee has only lasted 6 years in charge, Lasseter lasted 11-12 years. His ouster was awkwardly prolonged when word got out about his inappropriate behavior, first going on "sabbatical leave" for half a year, and then being in some "consultant" role at the company before leaving altogether over one full year after the accusations got out.

Another cool detail about this change... Lee's directing partner on FROZEN III & IV is Marc Smith, not Chris Buck like the first two movies. Buck also directed WISH, and I wonder if - since he's free of FROZEN duties - he's staying at WDAS or he packs his bags and directs somewhere's else? WISH didn't seem like a particularly rewarding production for anybody, in addition to becoming a critical dud (a rare one for WDAS, with a low Rotten aggregate) and box office disaster, sooooo... That remains to be seen. As is what the 2026 original movie is... Maybe that's why Lee was weirdly quiet about it at D23...

[fitpacs]

I made a list of all the stuff fit did in stardew before you go back!

Rough wake up, Hailey ignored him and Lewis said he would hate for Minas Gerias to dry up and fit took that as a threat. Pam wants to get over her habit of spending the night at the saloon. Fit is excited about this and wants to help.

Learned Shane works at joja mart and despite him not being interested in talking, tried to talk to him like 5 times

Almost gave shane a daffodil then didn't. (in my head he got nervous)

-sleep-

All of the seeds he had planted grew, so he sold a ton of foragables

Sold 10 of each egg (white and brown) cause he had too many after phil told him not to sell them.

(not stardew but he did talk about the 2b video. He thinks it's his best video since nocom, and when it drops it's going to hit the whole MC community)

Fished then went home and monologued in front of the fire place again.

got lvl 3 farming \o/ (after accidentally kicking madagascar ;-;) and a ton of money

-sleep-

Accepted a quest for Harvey for seaweed, got it, then told harvey he would get him more bushiness (while punching his hand, so he was threatening to hurt people to give him more work)

Told us to not get our hopes up with Shane, plans to get married for the government benefits.

And I see you posted so im going to send this now :D (it was originally a reblog but i think you deleted the original post)

omg you’re so sweet, thank you for documenting for me! saves me needing to watch the vod to the point i got home :’)

thank you again- i genuinely didn’t expect anyone to do it! :)

also why am i so invested in this playthrough i-

[brian-mays-hair]

How did you get into Queen/classic rock?

whew, this is going to be a long one

i’ve always been familiar with classic rock, when i was like 4 or 5 my dad was in a band and their gigs were at this run down house that he inherited (i promise we weren’t rich like it didn’t even have working plumbing)

around the same time, my mom owned her own business so i would go to work with her and we would listen to the classic rock station we could pick up so i knew a lot of the songs that would play

my dad and i pretty much exclusively listened to 70s/80s music (mainly ELO, Hall and Oates, Eagles, Ozzy, and Kiss) with occasional 90s pop and grunge sprinkled in there

i grew up in a very small rural community, population of a little over 2,000 people, and in small towns you’re seen as an outsider if you don’t fit this certain image, at least that’s how it was when i was growing up

the school that i went to was a segregation academy unfortunately so there were only about 300 kids Pre-K-12th grade, there were about 12 kids including me in the class and 10 of them were girls. I was usually the one that got picked on because I was different, I didn’t wear the trendy clothes that everyone else wore (mainly because we were poor but i didn’t want to wear them anyway), i didn’t listen to the same music, i didn’t watch the same movies or tv shows so naturally i was made an easy target.

i wanted to be liked because my mom was a people pleaser and it took me forever to get over that mindset i inherited from her, i was always so worried what people would say about me so i started assimilating, i started listening to the disney channel and Nickelodeon music, i watched the shows and started dressing trendier so i left all of the stuff that really made me happy behind so i could fit in

flash forward a few years to about 2012, we moved to a bigger city because my dad got a new job and i went to public school for the first time where obviously you meet a lot of different people from a lot of different backgrounds, i had friends for the first time that grew up similar to i did, they didn’t live in the nicer houses in town either and they didn’t all have the same personalities or interests so i learned that it was okay to be different.

the summer before 7th grade, i started listening to older music again. I got my ‘1’ album out by the beatles and listened to it non stop, i was also super into youtube at the time and watching music videos, somehow i stumbled upon the killer queen top of the pops video and that literally changed my life. i started reading their wikipedia page and realized they wrote all of these songs that i knew and loved. i started listening to their albums in full and knew this is what music was supposed to sound like.

This was also during the height of Pandora radio so i used to play ‘Queen’ stations and that’s how I discovered Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and Clapton mainly.

Alright this is a little side story, my freshman year of high school I had a part time job as a hostess at a mexican restaurant and one of my neighbors was having a yard sale, they were selling one of those big cabinet record players with an 8 track player and a radio. The record player actually didn’t work, the belt was stretched out so i found a station i liked and kept it on 24/7 the entire time i was in high school, that exposed me to more 70s/80s artists and my most beloved bands like the Police, Billy Joel, Phil Collins, and Steely Dan

Hope that answered your question and other ones you didn’t ask, thanks for the ask! 🤍

[ladyswillmart]

🐝 fitting the emoji: "Not The Bees!" :D

Ah yes, this was another episode of the Ironworks sitcom, "Where's the Chief?"!

The episode starts out with Lucia Junius, who for REASONS WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, is entrusting some sundry maintenance of her very expensive and beautiful custom champagne white Magitek Reaper mount (nickname: "Sweet Judy Green Eyes") to Garlond Ironworks. Basically it's chilling out in their hangar in Mor Dhona, awaiting some incredibly basic services like an inspection, an oil filter change, a chassis cleaning and total hoovering of the seats, etc. So what could possibly go wrong with this?

Yeah, that's probably what Lucia said to herself too. Anyway.

One morning, Wedge heads into the hangar to start work on the Reaper when he hears a strange thrumming noise—yes, a rather buzzy sort of sound, definitely some kind of buzz, coming from inside one of her rear leg panels... 🤔 Unsure what's up, Wedge runs back into the workshop to fetch the first person he sees for help. Unfortunately, the first person he sees is Nero Scaeva, breakfasting on his usual black coffee and leftover cigarette butts scrounged from the smoke room ashtray.

I mean, if Wedge had gotten like, Biggs or Lilja or Jessie or even Phil the Intern, the problem would definitely be resolved in a very sensible way within the span of like five minutes, and then we probably wouldn't have much of a sitcom, would we? Anyway.

He takes Nero out to the Reaper and asks if he knows what the problem is. Nero goes to press his ear against the panel, but soon the dead giveaway comes flitting out of a small hole drilled into it: A BEE! Wedge begins to panic, but Nero begins to think in a more rational way, and by rational I mean he's definitely thinking about how he can press this bizarre situation to his advantage, and by advantage I mean "making this month's rent before he gets kicked out of his flat and has to sleep on Garlond's couch for the next several months".

He knocks the can of bug spray right out of Wedge's hand and orders him not to say a word about this to anyone—especially Lucia. That's right, Sweet Judy Green Eyes is about to become Garlond Ironworks's newest Honey-Moneymaker! 🐝🐝🐝

Anyway, this scheme lasts for a highly improbable amount of time... long enough for Nero to turn the Reaper into a high-tech bee motel with the finest Scaev-Tec™ honey tapping technology (patent pending). Liquid gold! At least at the Mor Dhona weekend farmer's market. And whenever poor Lucia asks when she's going to get her ride back, Wedge just gives her some lame excuse, as Nero is giving him a cut of the honey profits just to keep his mouth shut.

WELL SOON ENOUGH CID GARLOND COMES BACK FROM WHEREVER HE WENT and naturally this is when the scheme falls apart: He demands that Nero and Wedge clear out the bees and get Lucia's mount ready for its scheduled maintenance. However, Cid's return coincides with the arrival of Dr. Flowering Tussock, a famous Sharlayan entomologist who has heard all about this famous "Mor Dhona Honey". She is especially intrigued by this story as to her knowledge, most of the bees native to the Mor Dhona region were extirpated during the Calamity. She investigates Nero's little sweatshop and confirms that the honeybees living within are indeed 100% native Mor Dhona honeybees and thus a valuable scientific specimen! She offers a frankly obscene amount of money for the mount, but Nero very begrudgingly "does the right thing" and explains that the mount isn't theirs to sell... SIGH.

However, when Cid tells Lucia the whole ridiculous story, she just laughs it off, saying it took so long for them to get her mount back to her that she already got herself a new scooter anyway—far more practical for the narrow streets of Ishgard! She gives her permission for Dr. Tussock to remove and rehome the bees (free of charge, naturally!), and to do whatever they like with Sweet Judy Green Eyes.

No more bees. No more honey. No more money. No more not sleeping on Cid Garlond's couch.

When Nero hears the conclusion of this story, he is so vexed he eats a cigarette butt.

FREEZE FRAME, END THEME SONG AND CREDIT ROLL

[whatwouldvalerydo]

💚❤️ Part 4/8 ❤️💚

For this part I will just issue a warning instead: ⚠️ smut, alcohol consumption ⚠️ 18+

Phil belongs to the fabulous @flareshogwarts

Tokyo ended up being more fun than Scarlett initially anticipated, but her energy was almost completely drained by the time they reached Kyoto. So she did what any sensible woman would do. She booked couple massages for both of them, then they ordered drinks to their rooms while relaxing in soft kimonos at the edge of the hot spring.

“How much was this place?”

Pouring some sake for both of them she looked at him “Does it matter Baker? You’re with me.”

Toasting to a relaxing day, he placed the small cup down, Scarlett already pouring a second drink “It matters because I will pay for half of this.”

Scoffing, she rolled her eyes “Then sell your business and your parents’ house because this shit is expensive.” Stopping with his drink halfway, his eyes widened “Relax, I’m joking.” Seeing him drink, she smirked “Or am I?” Phil coughing loudly “Honestly you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Yes I have.” He retaliated as soon as he managed to stop the coughing fit.

Tilting her head to look at the water, she sighed “Yes and no, but it’s refreshing. Probably one of the few constant things in my life.”

His eyes softened, this time Phil pouring the drinks, handing her the cup “Is it bad?” her eyes travelled to him, both drinking, him speaking again “Not me, I wasn’t talking about me. About your situation.”

“Really?” she asked scoffing before she downed another sake shot, Phil doing the same “Yes, it’s bad and I don’t want to talk about it with anyone. Simple really.”

He knew pushing her was going to result in absolutely nothing, that was the case back at school and from the look of it, two years did absolutely nothing. If anything, she was even more guarded than before, far more distant. But he always kept her secrets, as much or as little as she wanted to share, he had never said anything to anyone. Not about her, or about them and what their business was, none of it.

“I won’t tell a soul.”

She wanted to laugh, she really did “You’d like that wouldn’t you? For me to just bare my soul to you.” looking in his eyes, he did not say yes or no, but he involuntarily nodded, something inside him happening on an unconscious level “Not going to happen.”

Taking another drink they could both feel the alcohol starting to fog up their thoughts, Scarlett letting out a content sigh, enjoying the atmosphere. Getting up, she took one last glance at the hot spring before deciding to go for a dip, hands already working on taking off her kimono, Phil also getting up covering her back up “What are you doing?” he asked without even looking at her.

“Umm, going to enjoy myself. What are you doing?” she pushed his hands away, glaring at him.

“You can’t, you had a few drinks, hot water and alcohol don’t mix. Also why are you naked underneath?”

Laughing, she flipped her hair to the side, glancing at her long nails “Why, are you wearing something underneath?”

Blinking, he actually took a second to think before responding “Well no but” looking at her he asked “do you really want me to see you naked?”

“Yes.” She answered right off the bat without even taking time to think about it “So you’d better have something better to offer me if you plan on stopping me from taking a dip.”

It was those damn eyes and he knew they held a different type of power. She purposely teased, pushed him and his boundaries, especially in that moment when her brows lifted “How about another drink?”

He knew it was a bad idea, her and alcohol never mixed well and the last time they actually got drunk a lot of things happened. Bad ones that were better left somewhere alongside his memories of Hogwarts, compartmentalized inside his brain.

“Sure Baker. Why not?”

But a shot went by too fast, Scarlett already getting up once more in order to proceed with her original plan. Taking hold of her hand, he looked up at her “Sit back down please, not tonight.”

And if she didn’t know any better, she could have sworn there was something more in those pleading wide eyes of his. Sitting down next to him on the lounge chair, her eyes searched his face for a few seconds before she decided why not, what could go wrong? Why not try and kiss him?

It wasn’t like she hasn’t kissed him many times before.

But this time Phil wasn’t taken by surprise, quite the opposite, he wanted it, his eyes travelling from her eyes to her lips several times throughout their conversation, her picking up on it, because of course the little vixen who pressed her lips against his did. She knew, she always had that thing of picking up on certain aspects when it came down to men.

And he could have very well been an open book, out there for her to read and interpret how she saw fit.

And it should have been a mistake to kiss her after so much time, to even get close to her, as if he had lost his mind somewhere in between her devilish eyes and the sake he ingested. But screw it, how many chances were there?

And this time, he was adamant on being the one to make her sigh as he kissed her, to make her head spin even if she had the power to do the same to him.

Her hands pressed against his chest, gently tugging away at the fabric of his kimono until she could feel his skin underneath her fingers, one of her hands running up his neck, thin digits playing with his hair as she tasted the alcohol on his tongue, Phil shuddering as her other hand lowered to his abdomen.

Breaking the kiss, he cupped her face, eyes searching hers “What are you doing?”

“Anything I want until you say stop.”

His mind blanked, him inhaling softly, tongue wetting his lips before he finally found the words to speak again “And if I won’t say stop?”

She smirked, leaning back in, climbing on his lap “Then we’ll see. Come on Phil, tell me what you want.”

His name leaving her mouth had him pulling her back in, a whisper being pressed against her lips as he softly uttered “You.” His hushed confession stirring up emotions inside of her that were better left untouched. But she could lie her way out of it once more, she could blame it on the alcohol, or she could just play it as it was in that moment and decide what would happen the following day.

But in that moment she had him right where she wanted him. And she wasn’t scared of tainting him or stealing first moments and memories from him because they weren’t kids anymore. They were both mature enough to know what they wanted and exactly what they were doing.

And what they were doing was precisely what they both wanted.

Because she saw him as more and damn all reason if he wasn’t doing things to her she never thought possible. If someone told her back in year two when she first met him that he would mean something to her, that she would take a moment too long to notice his jaw line, or how his hands looked whenever he would pull up his sleeves. Or how his eyes would light up in an instant, his smile and laugh the sweetest thing, she would call those people mad. That she could never look at a guy like that and not want to gain something. But things were different with him.

And she wanted to show him that, at least for a night. To show him that it was alright, that he could touch her, that this time she would not push him away.

That she wanted it just as much as he appeared to.

And he did. Her lips on his felt like fire, warmth that spread throughout his body, making his mind fuzzy and dizzy and it wasn’t because of the alcohol. Her hands roamed freely, every sensation of his going into overdrive as they both fumbled to undress each other of the thin fabrics separating their bodies.

And he didn’t want to stop and look too much because he didn’t want to think, to be mesmerized, instead closing his eyes as her lips found his neck, her chest pressing against his, a shaky exhale leaving his mouth. Her skin felt soft against his hands as he ran his fingers across her spine, Scarlett grinding slowly against him causing him to grip her, hungry lips finding hers again as his hands caressed her body, the last slither of logic leaving his brain entirely.

It felt as if everything was happening in a state of semi consciousness, her mouth stealing his breath away, his tongue against her earlobe and her neck, soft moans making him gasp against her body as he explored. Placing the palm of her hands against his chest, she pushed him back a bit, eyes searching, Scarlett reaching for her lounge chair, pulling the thin matters from it onto the ground, gesturing to Phil to move positions there, him complying without batting an eye, kissing her once more as soon as she was back on top of him.

He did want to ask if she was actually sure about what they were doing, but when he parted from her lips and addressed the first few words, a moan escaped instead as she wrapped her hand around his length, Scarlett smirking as her hair encompassed his vision “Well, well, who would have thought eh?”

“What?” he managed to stutter, biting down on his lip as she tested his reactions.

“That you were packing.” She winked “It’s a pleasant surprise.”

Talking was something he most definitely didn’t want to do, could not even concentrate on with her hand wrapped around him as she was slowly working him up and down, increasing the rhythm whenever she saw fit, her hot breath against him once more, teeth biting down on sensitive skin, managing to steal sounds from him he himself thought they sounded foreign.

“But then all of you is surprising.” She whispered against his ear, Phil opening his eyes to look at her.

“Shut up please.”

Smirking, she leaned in gently biting on his lower lip before asking “Can’t concentrate there Baker?”

Reaching to stop her hand from making him feel like he was about to give in at any second, he pulled her in for another hungry kiss, his tongue dancing across hers, the feeling of her piercing making him remember their first kiss ever back in the commentator stand.

From then to the very moment they were in, a lot of time had passed, too much of it and too much of him being denied. As his hand reached between her legs, Scarlett let out a moan as he ran two fingers across her clit, teasing her, her nails digging into his skin as she let out a content chuckle that somehow made something in him react.

His free hand found the back of her neck, pulling her in for another kiss, not allowing her to break away as he inserted a finger inside of her and then another, stealing every moan upon his tongue, each making his heart beat faster, the sensation of her electrifying.

The way she bent, the way she felt, it was more than he ever imagined and he did let his imagination run wild on several occasions. As a curse tumbled from between her lips, he looked at her thinking just how damn sexy she was.

Gently pulling his fingers out of her, Scarlett frowned slightly as Phil supported himself on his hands to get up “What?”

“Are you sure about this?”

Rolling her eyes, she pushed him back “Don’t ruin the mood, if you want to stop, stop. If not you’d better replace those fingers with something else and fast before I get mad.” Lowering herself, she grinded against his erection a few times “Make up your mind Phil.”

Grabbing her hips, he stopped her, lifting her slightly to position himself, Scarlett smirking as she looked in his eyes, satisfied with the gasp that left his mouth when he entered her slowly. Placing her hands against his chest for support, Phil covered his face as he moaned when she started ridding him, that charming blush spreading down his neck and chest.

Slowing her rhythm, she removed his hands to look at him, pinning them down “Why are you hiding?”

He breathed through parted lips as she continued to move up and down, Phil meeting her thrusts halfway, somewhere in the back of his mind a small voice still existed, however it was just as enchanted about everything as he was. He couldn’t actually believe that what was happening was reality, but his body knew well enough what was going on, sensations filling him to the brim.

The way it felt being inside of her made him lose focus while at the same time dedicating all that he could to her and that moment between them. His heart fluttered inside his chest, Scarlett letting go of his hands to kiss him once more, her pace slower, his thrusts deep.

He had no business making her feel so good, gentle hands caressing her body, making her tremble underneath his touch. His skin was hot underneath her, intoxicating, a thought launching itself inside her mind, a hint of regret. She hated the fact that she actually didn’t sleep with him back when they were in school. He didn’t need to know, but she did miss out on that golden opportunity.

And it made her mad, pace picking up, Phil’s voice growing louder, making her smirk against his neck, before she traced her tongue along his skin, his arms wrapping around her, keeping her close, his speed matching hers.

“Fuck.” She cursed, biting down on his shoulder, Phil letting out a small groan, hands working on pushing away hair which for some reason he decided it annoyed him, tickled his skin and stuck to him and he didn’t want that. He wanted her skin flush against his, her mouth tracing kisses against his jaw line, finding his lips again.

Wrapping her hair around his hand, Scarlett gasped as he tugged slightly, his rhythm changing to a slower one, each thrust making her moan, thoughts slowly slipping from her head, the only thing remaining alive being only him, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his touch.

It was what she had envisioned and more, definitely more as he managed to lose himself to each sensation, body acting on its own, his mind only an afterthought, hers rapidly losing focus with each thrust. She didn’t need to tease, she didn’t need to teach him a thing, as if he knew already, had studied her body up close and personal. First times should have been awkward, both fumbling as they tried to learn about one another and what each liked, yet they blended and mixed perfectly without either of them even providing a hint.

Catching their breath as the last tremors of pleasures rippled through their bodies, Phil finally spoke “Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.” Was all that she could say as she finally climbed off him and stretched her body next to his.

Reaching out to take an energy drink from the table, he opened it, taking a big gulp, handing it to her, a content sigh leaving his plump lips. Looking at her, he smiled “Again?”

“What the fuck, are you on batteries?”

Chuckling, he leaned in for another kiss.

[genevawrenn]

Fit & Bagi's conversation transcript about Philza and what ails him today (02/28/2024);

[/rp from 2 hours and 32 minutes in FitMC's VOD (2:32-2:42)]

FitMC : So have you heard any fofoca recently? Got any gossip, tea, drama? Anything?

Bagi : I haven't heard fofoca recently at least about me because I am waiting for y'know Tina to check her room, so we can have some new fofoca?

F : I see, I see, okay.

B : But um, do you know what's happening to Phil?

F : All I know, with Phil, ever since that stuff appeared on his shoulders he has been acting strange. His kids were both really worried about him. When I brought up a sensitive topic he seemed to get really upset with Tallulah, so I'm just—I don't think he is himself recently. Something is definitely bothering him or something's up.

Empanada : It's bad.

F : I don't know, what do you think? *Both read Em's sign.*

B : I agree with Empanada, it's really bad. Because Chayanne and Tallulah were really upset, like it didn't look like Phil. He seemed different, like maybe possessed?

F : Yeah, maybe, maybe.

B : With some disease, I don't know. And they ran away from him.

F : Which is definitely not normal.

B : That's really sad because Chayanne and Tallulah really really love Phil. And Phil looked like he was trying to get away from them. Going inside of dungeons alone and leaving them in the house. I don't know all weird, the weird thing about his shoulders, the purple thing on his shoulders, it looks like that crying obsidian you know?

F : Oh, wait a min—cause it's got like the purple in it?

B : Yeah, that glows a little bit?

F : Ramon do you have a crying obsidian on you? Put it on the ground, I just want to look at it real quick.

B : And I think they had one of those inside the lake, the little lake they have next to their house.

F : Oh interesting. It's like the same colour of purple.

B : Yeah. Do you think its a type of corruption or something? Like what happened to Slime when he was being—well I don't know...transformed by codes?

F : Oh, yeah. Mhm, I remember that. That seems to happen on this island, doesn't it?

B : Yea. Like a contamination or something.

F : Yea it could be a disease, yeah definitely he wasn't himself. *Looks at the obsidian again* But yeah, it looks the colour purple is almost identical to what was on him.

E : Crying obsidian sucks.

Ramon : So crying obsidian is toxic?

B : I don't think so. But maybe a piece of crying obsidian appearing at his place could mean something?

F : Hmmm, maybe.

B : It's not normal to have crying obsidian inside of lakes.

F : It's an unusual place for it to spawn.

B : Yeah, exactly. So it was put in there but, why? Just for decoration or different purposes? I mean it could be just decoration.

F : It's—it's a weird decoration if that's true.

E : I asked him on our birthday and he said its nothin'. I asked him why there was one in his pond it was there on our birthday.

B : Wait, Empanada, did he answer you?

F : He said it's nothing...hmmmm.

E : He said not to worry about it an its nothing :(

F : It must have some significance then it has too.

B : He said not to worry about, maybe it really...I don't know the meaning of this because I never went to the nether. Everyone talks about the nether but I was never there.

F : Yeah but crying obsidian is also useful for making weapons cause it can make respawn anchors which can be used as explosives.

B : Oh you remind me of something. Okay, okay let me try to remember this...Phil had a diamond backpack that the 'Federation' gave to him?

F : Yeah, yeah must be nice.

B : No but it's really weird because the Federation isn't giving anyone anything because they want us to buy stuff.

E : Chay burned it.

B : That was really weird because the backpack came with a letter from the Federation, but not sure if its from the Federation. And a really weird backpack, a diamond backpack and the bunnies are trying to sell us everything so it doesn't even make sense for them to give Phil a diamond backpack. They would at least charge something, like, give me at least a thousand coins for the backpack, I don't know.

F : So you are saying that Phil didn't get it from the Federation?

B : I think maybe its something else, not the Federation.

F : I didn't even think of that.

B : He got a backpack from someone because think about it, the bunnies they don't even give us free food. Every time we need food they aren't even giving us food. Why would they give us diamond backpacks, that doesn't even make sense?

F : You are absolutely right. Like, I didn't even think of that.

B : If you stop to think about it, the shoulders and the back was exactly the place he was contaminated. So maybe it's related to the backpack?

F : You are right, it was all over his back, I didn't even think of that.

E : I listened to Phil's and Lulah's convo and he said he did it to protect them from HIM

[Fit mutes and tells chat : You ever talk to someone and just be like 'I'm fucking stupid?' That's how I feel right now.]

B : Oh yeah, I remember that Phil said that he was trying to protect the kids from 'him'. And he said a couple times the word him but no one in specific that we know, I think. It was always 'him'.

F : But he specifically said 'him', right?

B : Yeah, don't know who 'him' is but he was talking about 'him'.

R : Tio Phil was being a little harsh on Chay and Lulah.

E : He got really mad at Tallulah.

F : You might be onto something Bagi, maybe it is some sort of like he is being possessed or something.

B : Here Fit, check this *gestures to Em's sign*

E : Called her a stupid egg HE WOULD NEVER

F : *Reads aloud the sign* Oh you are absolutely right, Phil would never call any of his children stupid. Something is up, yup.

B : So if you see Phil and he's kinda weird, that's probably what's happening.

F : Well I am glad we had this chit chat so we are both on the same page. Okay we need to be really careful.

B : If he needs anything, oh yeah, and we need to be careful that's right. Because we don't know what he is up to.

F : Cause yeah if he's berating his own eggs, insulting his own eggs, it could turn south very quickly.

*Ramon nods*

F : I'm worried, Ramon.

E : Don't ask him questions, he will think they told us more.

F : Never a dull moment on this island.

B : We should keep the kids safe. Chay and Tallulah can stay here if they need, they already know that but if they need anything they can come to us.

F : That's a good idea yeah, as long as they have somewhere to go.

B : I mean for now I really don't know if I can help Phil, so I am just trying to keep the kids safe.

F : That's the most important.

B : The real Philza would appreciate it.

F : Yeah, keeping the kids safe that is the first priority. That's good stuff, isn't that right you two? *Addressing Em and Ramon who nod.*

B : I think Phil needs to deal with it.

F : It's always something on this island, Bagi, it's always something.

B : There's always something.

[Bonus transcript between Fit and Ramon 3:09-3:12 relating to Philza's affliction]

Fit : Ramon.

*Ramon nods after they both teleport home from BBH's place*

F : When we were talking with Bagi about Philza it made me realise something. I remember, a long time ago, this was a few months ago, remember when I was dealing with all the black concrete? Like all the dark matter that was on the island?

I specifically remember Philza mentioning a thing. If I recall correctly, he mentioned something called the 'Ender King'. And I am starting to wonder if maybe that's what's been messing with him. Cause think about it; the crying obsidian, the obsidian, that's what you find in the End Dimension, right?

*Ramon nods*

F : This things called the Ender King...he thought he was seeing things and we thought maybe he was just imagining them—but now we can see there is something on him. Something we can see with our own eyes. I just wonder if it's related.

Ramon : So now it's not only in his mind?

F : Exactly cause at first we thought maybe he was just imagining these things but it's clear this is actually some sort of outside force. And that's why I am a little bit more concerned now. That's why I am way more concerned.

R : That sounds dangerous. Not only for him but everyone.

F : Yeah, cause if his behaviour towards Tallulah and Chayanne yesterday, or the other day, is any indication then this could be a problem for a lot of us. So we really gotta keep our eye on him and support him anyway we can.

F : *sighs* But, man, when it rains it pours. Cause we have our own problems to deal with, Ramon. Especially tomorrow, I mean Friday. I can't ever remember what day it was, I am so frazzled. So much going on at all times on this island. When it rains it pours.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Hi :) do you know of any youtuber phil/non youtuber dan fics that are like "canon" phil if that makes sense? Essentially as if everything in 2009-on still happened minus dan becoming a youtuber. i had a look through the youtuber au masterlist but nothing seemed to fit what im looking for. thank you!

This is the only one from 2009

I Asked You To Dance But You Said No (ao3) - AnotherPhanficWriter

Summary: Dan and Phil are Soulmates, they are SUPPOSED to be together, at least that's what all the other angels in The Above tell Dan. And it becomes Dan's mission to make Phil fall in love with him so that the Lords that own him can release him from the hell they are putting him in. Unfortunately, Phil turns him down at the end of the first date in every possible way, despite Dan redo-ing the day over and over so he can get it right. Somewhere along the way he figures out why he can't ever get Phil to say yes at the end of the night.

This is your prompt, just them meeting later

Coincidences mean you're on the right path (ao3) - maybeformepersonally

Summary: Dan had been watching Amazingphil since he was a teenager. He never thought they would actually meet, of course, and so he is understandably surprised when Phil walks into the room.

Here’s some more that fit the prompt, just not 2009.

All That You Are is All That I'll Ever Need (ao3) - ficslesters (sohmaskyos), starrywrite

Summary: Dan Howell is just ordinary, but his boyfriend Phil is Amazing(Phil from YouTube). Or, AU in which Dan isn’t a YouTuber.

boyfriend (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: On the one year anniversary of officially coming out to everyone in his life, Dan starts patronizing a local gay club to hopefully meet someone and somehow ends up falling into a rom com trope of a night.

can't breathe when you touch my sleeve (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it's basically a meme. Now he's got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he'd had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

Fireworks (ao3) - tapdancinglorax

Summary: Of course Dan forgot to straighten his hair on the same day Phil Lester walked into the coffee shop he worked at.

Hiding Under a Table (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: Dan only took this office job to have something to do in his gap year. He's amazed the film company even hired him, to be honest. When he comes into work one morning running on no sleep and hungover, he suspects they may have made a mistake, and of course that's the one day that his literal idol AmazingPhil comes into their office unannounced.

Hot Tea and Chocolate Biscuits (ao3) - vaudevillian_girl

Summary: "In his twenty-nine years of life Phil had never seen a hybrid, well he did see one but he had been to little to know what that person was. Growing up, Phil had learned to not judge them and to not hate those poor things."

Phil is a youtuber with a monotone life, he's still trying to find his place in society and he just likes to be by himself. Until, one night, Dan shows up at his door, alone and lost.

Library (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: It's exam season at uni, and Dan is stressed out of his mind. In an attempt to escape the crowded university campus, he finds a small library out of the way to settle into. Only, the seat opposite him is empty aside from a bag, a coat, and his laptop, and a phone that won't stop going off.

Midnight Delivery (ao3) - mendelssohnslieder (formosissima)

Summary: Dan works at a pizza place. Phil places an order on a dare.

Personal Pianist (ao3) - irphanfic

Summary: Phil is bored without Dan on a summer Thursday evening and decides to start his usual liveshow earlier than expected. What he doesn’t know is that maybe he should have checked all the rooms in the house before giving away his boyfriend’s piano skills.

Phil Lester & the Downfall of Dateable London Men (ao3) - idkspookystuff

Summary: Phil’s a YouTuber who’s certain he’ll never find love. Dan sends penis enlargement emails and wants to change Phil’s mind.

Printer Error (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Dan's a fanfic writer who's desperate to meet the AmazingPhil, but one printing mishap could bring him closer to his idol than he ever anticipated.

quiet on widow's peak (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Phil's got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

The Boyfriend Tag (ao3) - dannihowell (anotherdaughter)

Summary: AmazingPhil has his boyfriend, non-youtuber Dan, appear in a video.

the hazy in between (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Phil shrugs. “Don’t think you can go anywhere, mate. Boris called a nationwide lockdown yesterday. Only things open are the takeaway shops, god bless.” He tacks on the last part for Dan, but it seems to go over his head. He doesn’t smile or bless him back - rude.

Or the one in which they're distant flatmates during a national crisis.

The Weird Neighbour (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan has just moved into a new flat when he has an odd and awkward exchange with his new neighbour who then makes a YouTube video about it. Dan's friend finds the video and sends it to Dan who vows to get his revenge by being the weirdest, strangest neighbour that this Phil guy would ever meet. Turns out he got more than revenge.

-Rae

[chellyfishing]

I’m still kinda confined to bed so I’m gonna talk about some mobies I watched recently!!

dashcam: so the way this was described by reviewers that i follow was like “protagonist is awful, horror is great,” and yeah that about sums it up! but like I said in my post that kinda makes the horror work for me bc im like yes please bad things should happen to bad people. I would say im sure she’s very lovely in real life but like i think the point is that she is not. I would watch it again.

disenchanted: this movie was uhhh kinda bad!! bad writing, especially the song lyrics, I actually could do an autopsy of this bc I turned into That Bitch tm while watching it like 🤓 um actually these are plot holes but idk it didn’t, hmm how to put this, respect its audience I guess? I have large reserves of WSOD but there was no internal consistency to what we were working with. that aside it LOOKED gorgeous, the FITS in this my god, everybody was stunning at all times

falling for christmas aka the lindsay lohan christmas movie: like, I think most people going into this film know what they’re about to get and as long as you stand by those expectations you won’t be disappointed. except why was santa there, why was he real, and why was he so creepy, what was that all about, somebody needed to tell whoever thought that was a good idea that they were wrong about that and probably a lot of other things in life I have to believe!!!!! we stan tad tho. what a weird little twink.

the last broadcast: this was a movie Ryan hollinger was covering and it’s free on tubi so I was like all right heck yeah I’ll go watch that then come back and it’s a pretty wild ride! It’s a found footage that predates Blair witch by a couple years and I don’t think it’s as good as Blair witch but it’s not what you expect. like I very much appreciate what they were going for here and I think I’m gonna watch it again soon. kinda camp but with found footage production idk if that makes sense.

the McPherson tape/ufo abduction (the 1989 one): another found footage that Ryan covered that is free on pluto! pluto the app not pluto the dwarf planet you don’t have to go that far. the tension in this movie feels real!! this is real stressed family gathering energy. also I just like found footage i am an easy sell.

pearl: this movie is very different to x!! but I liked it a lot it is very very good. not super scary, the tension in that scene near the end is killer tho. more of a character study than a standard slasher like x was. also very stylized in a cool way like it really evokes of all things wizard of oz which is deliberate to my knowledge. just a good movie and mia goth is so incredibly talented. looking forward to maxine!!!

spy x family: not a movie but i did binge it over a couple days and i have no regrets. do people have good fic to hand, im going to go looking, I need for them to KISS ALRSADY GOD

cabinet of curiosities: not a movie either but do yourself a favor and just watch it. i know I like anthologies more than the average person but this is guillermo del toro-curated! and he introduces every episode and director so you get to see him! eight episodes. go do it.

I also did a rewatch of the happy death days with Phil those are such a delight im glad I could share them 🤗 and a rewatch of till death bc it slaps.

[meanwhileinstasiville]

Around a "rough neighborhood"

After heading down from the park department, a guy whose supposed to look like me, alone. A guy down farther with "everything" so far as family is concerned *and yellow shoes*, who looks like phil.

There are bald guys *akin to skinheads* absolutely everywhere passing through the plaza today. The "island" downtown has some kind of team meeting going on out there representing, I think, "strength in numbers" (see rough neighborhood, above).

There's a guy who's purpose seems to be resembling eric and "his chair" going everywhere in latino messaging, at the "raj" building and implying that's *yet another snk back office project about town* in worse taste than ever. We've got the -hex red Honda fit that *used to literally follow me around* parked outside love revolution "lite" not the sex shop of the heyday drug trade.

(And you know, as an aside, porque no aunque? *All those socialist blogs about revolutionary stuff* and *no uncertainty?* Blaming America then on America now *although* we imported all the cartels, drug wars and violence, and borderline *committed* to inviting them, as *a group* to run Oregon)

*There's sooo much* there's eric and phil selling houses on signs. There are PALs in whole and part turning up absolutely everywhere.

They're even *fire dept cooper drives by* we'll she's a stalker...an back to where I was taking about, turning up in the tube source material for erotica on Tumblr.

Your expy women who look like male latinos around the face, yeah, they're getting screwed by men. And that's manly? And white?

All the lee expies are "twinks for trump" poster boy. They're eating semen, they're simulating sex acts around sucking cock. That's Lucy Bellwood "opening the door of an airplane" level heterosexuality. Reddit even has this shit leaching in.

Wish I were making this up, but like all the dead runs of trees in the mountains and a lone car on a deserted road; none of this was there before. Wasn't something to notice after attention was called to it, because *it was never like this*

And I'm not depressed or discouraged by any of this because it's a plane crash waiting to happen. So there.

[jeanjauthor]

...You guys don't know just HOW BIG a deal it is to keep the comic online.

Getting your comic published is where you--guaranteed--get actual money flowing in.

HOWEVER...

The webcomic is where you--guaranteed--get the most new readers.

Drop that access for new readers...and the cash stops coming in.

Girl Genius can tell you that. Schlock Mercenary can tell you that. A lot of webcomics that also produce books can tell you that. The Foglios (creators of Girl Genius; also, Foglio is pronounced FOE-lee-oh) rely on their graphic novel book sales to live. That's their family's livelihood. Howard Tayler (Schlock Mercenary) did have the income from his wife's career to help pay the way, but they, too, relied heavily upon producing and selling his story in paper format (and still do), and they rely upon those book sales.

But they both know that they wouldn't have anything like what they do now without posting their stories online for all to see.

...Okay, I must amend that Girl Genius actually started as a quarterly newsletter, a black-and-white printed format that was mailed out to fans of Phil's other works (he did the comic book adaptation of Robert Asprin's hit comedic fantasy, Another Fine Myth, produced in the mid 1980s).

After publishing 3 volumes' worth of these quarterly stories, Phil and his wife Kaja (pronounced k-EYE-yah, wonderful woman) decided in the early days of 2005 that they would take their story online. They were one of the early pioneers of graphic novels to do that, and they're still going strong to this day...and yes, they openly admit they still have monetary worries about whether or not they'll sell enough books to make ends meet and cover various unexpected costs. (They also pay Cheyenne Wright a full-time salary to be their colorist, etc, so it's not just the Foglios with their two kids that need to be supported with folks buying their stuff.)

Both of the Foglios have also talked at various conventions about how immensely greater their readership became after they put their serial comic online. They know very well that this is where they get--and keep!!!--their readership.

...I will also point out that I own a vast majority of the physical books that both of these fine webcomics have produced. Why do I own them, when I could just go online to read? Because I love the additional content the books provide. In the Girl Genius books, they present various short stories, some of which are posted as "filler stories" while the Foglios are on vacation or dealing with life crises.

As for Schlock Mercenary (produced since 2000, before all storylines came to a close after 20 years--but you cna still read them online & buy the books!!)...since these were single-strip newspaper comic styles, with every seventh one being more of a Sunday Comcis sized presentation, there was often no way to fit this extra-large multi-line panel onto the same page. GG started out as full-book-sized pages, but SM was more of a newspaper comic strip in its original presentation.

That meant that for any paper book printed format, there was always going to be empty space every so many pages...which got filled with artwork and tidbits from the universe in which SM is set. That, and the webcomic already has many of these tidbit or "author's note" segments. However, the books add even more info...and usually also offer extra short stories at the backs of the books.

This is why putting the webcomic online for free doesn't have to kill the sales of the book versions. Self-publishing webcomic artists have learned over twenty-plus years that happy readers are very happy to shell out for these extra bits.

.Hell, I even have an "annotated" copy of Tayler's in-universe-mentioned book: 70 Maxims for Maximally Effective Mercenaries ...AND the challenge coin for Maxim #70, which I carry in my wallet.

(i even got asked by a fan of both my works and the first two milSF novels in my Theirs Not To Reason Why series if the TUPSF had challenge coins, and if so, where is my main character Ia's? I had to point out that she's constantly on a space ship, and thus unsecured coins can become lethal projectiles under sudden vector changes. Planetary-based troops--mostly the TUPSF-Army--can have all the challenge coins they want, but they're forbidden in the TUPSF-Navy...but hey, I'm a land-bound civilian, so I can have one, and the one I chose was the SM Maxim #70: "Maxim 70: Failure is not an option. It is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.")

Anyway...long story short?

Thanks to pioneers like Girl Genius and Schlock Mercenary, major publishing companies have decades of examples PROVING that this seemingly contradictory two-facet business model actually works very well.

Spangler and Presser getting to keep the rights to post their story online for free WILL drive their book sales higher.

It's announcement day!

Our YA fantasy webcomic SIDE QUESTED has been picked up in a two-book deal by Andrews McMeel Publishing!

You can read about the announcement here.

This deal has been a process, woo boy howdy. The above link answers all of the usual questions, but if you're worried that SIDE QUESTED might be pulled from the internet...don't be! During negotiations, @alepresser and I were sure to put readers first and made sure that the comic will remain online.

Andrews McMeel Publishing has worked with many other webcomics and they understand these issues. They've been wonderful and have gone to great lengths to make sure that we can keep telling the story free online, while also making sure that we will have incredible bonus content exclusive to the print edition.

We'll have more later, but this has been a project that has eaten up so much time and brainpower that now we are squirmy little lizards in need of warm rocks

We'll post updates here and on our other social media, and of course at SIDE QUESTED's website and Patreon.