#phil dunphy packs

[hitchell-mope]

Five years later.

Now be warned. These headcanons are based on what I personally think could have happened to the Pritchett’s by 2024. The pandemic and lockdown influenced this scenario. And it will have my own interpretations of the characters. So if you don’t like it. Don’t read it.

Let’s get the pandemic stuff out if the way first shall we?

During the lockdown Jay decided (read: he was forced to admit) that novelty dog beds were a nonstarter. So now he’s a freelance consultant for closest firms like his own. He has his own hours. And he can make them pay through the nose. So he’s very happy.

Because of the pandemic freezing everything. Gloria decided to volunteer enforcing the six feet apart rule at supermarkets. She proved very effective.

Manny got lucky. Very lucky. He got cold feet the day before the cruise left so he was at home when the lockdown started in earnest. Javier on the other hand got stuck on a Covid cruise and became born again. Gloria wishes that he wasn’t.

Joe loved the zoom classes. He got to show his teachers his room. And he became very popular with his new class when he showed them the pool.

With the housing market frozen during lockdown, Phil also volunteered at the supermarket as a cashier and cleaner. It lacks the major human interaction he prefers. But he was proud to contribute to society in some way during the crisis.

Claire hated the pandemic. Her new job went up in smoke two weeks in. She had to reclean everything every two hours. It got so bad that Alex had to recommend a therapist to her. Claire still isn’t 100% yet. But she’s getting there. Plus. She’s gotten closer to Dylan.

Haley’s marriage suffered during lockdown a little bit. Dylan was classed as an essential worker. So he was basically living at the hospital for months on end. And he felt like he couldn’t talk to her about it. Not even when a surge of very young patients died on his watch on the same day. The only one he felt like talking to was Claire. But now they’re in marriage counselling. Which is helping them a lot.

Alex and Arvin also got very lucky. They were in California for his birthday and staying at the Dunphy house when everything shutdown. Their jobs in Switzerland were packed in. But at least Alex had her family around her during the lockdown.

Luke had a mixed bag during the pandemic. He was just about to leave for Oregon when lockdown was announced. Which meant that he was still at home and doing zoom classes so that was good. But he also had Alex breathing over his shoulder.

The lockdown was a miserable experience for Mitchell. In a completely different state miles away from the rest of his family. He kept a 24 hour zoom call going just so he could see his father every day. Needless to say he was over the moon when Cameron suggested they move back to California when lockdown was lifted.

Cameron’s dream job turned into a nightmare once all of the schools closed. Plus his side of the family, especially Pameron, didn’t follow any of the rules properly so he kept having to throw them out of the house to keep Lily and Rex safe. Admittedly he did go a little overboard when he misinterpreted “bubble” and tied to wrap the houses exterior in plastic. But eventually he calmed down and got through it.

Lily fared a little better. She found learning in place boring. But she was happy to finally have a reason to yell “get away from me” when people broke the six feet apart rule.

Now on to the fun stuff. This will be a bit Luke heavy because he’s my favourite character.

Luke ended up majoring in child psychology at the University of Oregon. He figured that George, Poppy and Rex could do with an Uncle Frasier. That and he watched Silence of the Lambs a lot during lockdown. He wisely leaves that out of conversation.

At ten am on the Fourth of July 2022 Luke Dunphy became a father to a boy he calls Phillip Franklin Dunphy. Frankie for short. The baby was left on the doorstep nameless. But he knows who mother is though. He only slept with one redhead after all. He’s now suing for full custody with Mitchell’s help on grounds of abandonment.

Luke fell in love with his college roommate in 2024. Reeves McCoy. (For references sake think of John Boyega in the force awakens but with a prominent Missouri accent). Reeve is on the wrestling team and is majoring in family law. Luke brought Reeve home for the summer. He hadn’t told anyone so everyone was very surprised but very happy for him. None more so than Cameron and Mitchell. Then Cameron found out they Reeve is a descendant of the fabled McCoy family. And Cameron was raised believing that the Hatfield’s are in his veins. Reeve won him over by singling a ten hour Cher medley.

Haley and Dylan have another baby now. Clark Kent Marshall. Named after Claire. And the ward that he was born on. Neither of them get the reference to superman.

George’s first word was “oops”. Poppy’s first word was “no”. Rex’s first word was “Lily”. Lily lords it over Cameron and Mitchell every chance she gets. And Frankie’s first word was “dada”. Luke finally understands why Phil is the was he is.

Lily can yodel like Alameda Slim. Mitchell pays her 100 dollars a week to keep it a secret from Cameron. He categorically refuses to start a bluegrass band.

Alex and Arvin are married but don’t have children. They mutually decided not to. Instead they have a calico cat called Curie. Unfortunately for them. He has a habit of running through plate glass doors. So now Joe calls him Luke the Cat. And it stuck.

Thankfully for all concerned. Mitchell and Cameron moved back into their perfect house in 2021. It pays to be related to a realtor like Gloria.

Manny finally got fame for his movies. And he hates it. He made what he felt was a hard hitting docudrama about mother and son relationships. But it’s known as a reimagining of Psycho. He’s now joined Phil and Gloria in the real estate business.

Claire got on the Marie Kondo train. She started her own business where she helps people clean up their lives. Especially families with a lot of children.

Joe is a very smart student. Well. He would be if he didn’t channel all his intellect into a black market candy stall. Jay still doesn’t know where he got the merchandise from.

Phil and Gloria started a new business with Manny after Covid. Family Realty. They proved extremely successful with Mitchell and Cameron’s friends.

And that is what I think the Pritchett’s are doing five years after the show ended.

[magicinapoorlylitroom]

Wednesday, January 25th, 2023, 2:05am

Today was a good day. 6:30 buzzer led to coffee and toaster strudel (I forgot I had oatmeal) on the couch with the dunphy family (phil said the darndest thing). Walked to the train while I listened to reasonable doubt. Made good time on both of the trains, got to the Bronx early. Walked around the neighborhood and looked in the little shops. Got a back seat for prosem, talked (and stressed) about interviews. Nicole asked me how my break was and we talked about Maine. We don't talk much but she's very nice and easy to laugh with. Took phygi upstairs in the conference room, that class is a condescending joke. Got coffee with the gang before I had to be back for CT. Talked about temporary tattoos. Looked at the cute girl in CT for a bit, wondered what her favorite ice cream flavor was when I got bored. Probably something simple like vanilla chocolate chip. Had assessment downstairs, khadivi seems like a nice guy (anything's better than Zweig). Got bored so I texted some people I was afraid of texting. Tried to talk to Ken before he left but he was in a meeting. I'll try again on Thursday. Walked out with Nat and Rachel and we caught the 10. Nat and I talked about peanut butter and jelly while we down the east side. I got off around 58 for the nw but it was running really late. Packed in when it finally came. I hate crowded subways. I had to get off at the next stop so other people behind me could get off but then I couldn't get back on. Caught the next one, felt good as I walked from the station to the apartment. Nobody was there when I got back so I started taking notes on the lectures I missed last week. Jack came back first and we talked about Camus and Kafka. Tom came after, we decided which movie we were gonna watch. Vogel had his heart set on young frankenstein and Tom cooperated. They got chinese and I made ramen, we smoked before we ate. The movie wasn't doing anything for me so I worked on the orc file. We paused at halftime for smoke and tea. They both went to bed after the movie ended, I stayed up to finish a few things on the file. I saved what I wanted to read for before I went to bed. I thought it would be good news but it wasn't. That's all right, my interjecting thoughts are unusually effective right now. Tomorrow will be good too, busy.

[jellycolors]

𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭 𝘥𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘴𝘥

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞/𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞

𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥

[onceuponwatermelon]

curta se pegar :)

phil’s-osophy headers pt3

[aristrocrat]

Chapter 4

S1 Episode 3

The day after Y/N kissed Stiles and this man can’t keep his mouth shut about it. Can you blame him? He’s a simpin’ man. The pack sneaks into a crime scene and then Stiles has dinner with your pops. Also, keep in mind that I’m heavily basing Y/N’s dad’s personality on ✨Phil Dunphy✨ bc he’s the best TV dad ever

“SCOTT!” Stiles squeaked as soon as he caught glimpse of his friend. “SCOTT OH MY GOD!!”

“What?” He chuckled, looking at the disheveled running towards him.

“You have to promise on EVERYTHING that you won’t tell a fucking soul,” He said, holding out his pinky. Scott simply looked down at it unamused. “Right, okay. Yeah, that’s Y/N’s thing sorry but swear it!”

“Okay, I swear just tell me.”

“Y/N kissed me,” Stiles said quickly, making Scott’s eyes go wide as his jaw dropped. “I mean technically I kissed her but-“

“YOU GUYS KIS-“

“SHHH!” Stiles flailed his arms. “Shut up! I don’t want her to know I told you, I promised her!”

“You kissed her?” Scott asked again in shock. “When? How? Wait, did she kiss you back?”

“Literally not even fifteen minutes after you kissed Allison. She told me to. I thought it was like a platonic thing with the way she did it but then we kissed and there was SO MUCH chemistry! And yeah, asshole. Why is that such a surprise?”

“Because she refuses to even admit to me that she liked you!” Scott replied. “Dude so like how was it?”

“AMAZING!” Stiles shouted, gaining the eyes of a few passersby. “Dude, it was like electric. I could feel it in my bones. It was- I don’t know. All I know is I wanna do it again and again and-“

“Okay, ew. She’s like my sister so maybe tone it down a bit,” Scott cringed.

“Oh yeah sorry about that,” Stiles said as they walked into the school. “But then we went to her place to like look into the Laura Hale thing and she didn’t even let me talk about it. She’s like teasing me or something. I don’t understand and I’m FREAKING out, okay? … But anyways, how are you doing? You good?”

“Yeah, I mean I had this dream last night that’s been bothering me,” Scott went on to explain everything as they entered the building. They continued to psychoanalyze the dream when they saw you at the locker.

“Hey!” You smiled, hopping into step with them. Scott smirked and gave it all away. “You told him?!”

“I-What?! I didn’t- How the hell did you- How could you tell?!” Stiles stammered. Scott started making kissing noises, making you groan and walk away. “Wait, Y/N! I-.. And she’s walking away. This is your fault, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” Scott chuckled before continuing on with the previous conversation.

You walked to your locker and unloaded the contents of your backpack in there before grabbing the things you needed.

“Hey, Y/N!” Lydia smiled, walking up to with Jackson right behind her. “Would you tell him that Scott isn’t taking steroids?”

“Scott? You mean the boy who told my mom I stole her liquor?” You deadpanned. They waited for your response. “No, you idiot. He’s the definition of a goody two shoes.”

“Well, something’s off. I need to find out what it is,” Jackson huffed. “I mean what is up with all of the dead bodies and weird vibes?”

“Bodies? Plural?” You questioned.

“Yeah, rumor has it that the janitor got torn to shreds last night in the bus,” Lydia responded. Your heart dropped.

“Jesus, I don’t even feel safe in this town anymore,” You mumbled, feeling as if Derek somehow had something to do with it.

“I gotta go,” Jackson interrupted. “But if you hear anything, tell me.”

“Okay?” You shot him a confused glare.

“About Scott I mean-“

“Yes, I know what you meant. You can leave now,” You rolled your eyes, shocking the couple with the attitude. “God, what is up with your boyfriend?”

“He’s jealous of Scott,” Lydia replied, starting to make her way to class. “I would be too. Scott’s starting to become quite the player. He’s kind of hot too, don’t you think?”

“No,” You laughed, passing by Allison and nodding at her. She smiled and held up her finger, signaling she’d be right behind the two of you after she was off of the phone.

“He’s not the only hot one, you know. The whole school’s been talking about you,” Lydia gleamed. “You’re welcome!”

“You’re ridiculous,” You laughed, walking into class and taking your seats. You chitchatted for a few more minutes before continuing on with your school day. The first half of it went by really quickly and before you knew it, you sat at a table with your lunch, waiting on your friends.

“Okay, I know you’re still mad but listen-“

“You think it was Scott?” You looked up at your friends. “Yeah, I heard you talking about it last hour.”

“I don’t think it was him,” Stiles argued, taking the seat next to yours. “He dreamt a similar dream. Maybe it’s like a werewolf thing to predict the future?”

“Yeah, and kind of like how it’s a Stiles thing to bounce off ridiculous theories,” You said sarcastically.

“I remember it clearly though,” Scott mumbled. “I need to talk to Derek.”

“What?!” You both exclaimed.

“He has the answers,” Scott shrugged. “He knows how to hold back the urge to turn on a full moon, he’s gotta know about this. I can’t go out with Allison. I have to cancel-“

“No, you’re not cancelling, okay? You can’t just cancel your entire life,” Stiles interrupted. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Lydia smiled, taking the seat next to Scott.

“Homework,” You smiled before everyone else joined you at the table. They all made small talk before Stiles confirmed that it was a bus driver who got attacked.

“Can we talk about something slightly more fun, please?” Lydia said. “Like, oh! Where are we going tomorrow night? You said you and Scott were hanging out tomorrow night, right?”

You all looked up at her.

“I mean we were still thinking about what we were going to do,” Allison replied nicely.

“Well, I am not sitting home again watching lacrosse videos so if the four of us are hanging out, we’re doing something fun,” She said.

“Lydia, we could-“ You began before she gave you a look, shutting you up.

“..Hanging out? Like the four of us?” Scott looked over at Allison. “Do you wanna hang out, like us and them?”

“Yeah, I guess. Sounds fun.”

“You know what else sounds fun?” Jackson spoke up. “Stabbing myself in the face with this fork.”

“Well this sounds like a recipe for disaster,” You leaned over and muttered to Stiles. He nodded in agreement as you listened to the four kids make plans, cringing when Scott claimed to be an excellent bowler.

————

“God, it was like watching a car wreck,” Stiles spewed after school. “And then out of nowhere comes that phrase.”

“Hanging out.”

“You don’t hang out with hot girls, okay? Once it’s hanging out, you might as well be her gay best friend,” Stiles said, making you roll your eyes. “You and Danny can start hanging out.”

“You’re overreacting,” You finally said. The boys ignored you and continued voicing their thoughts.

“How is this happening? I either killed a guy or I didn’t.”

“I don’t think Danny likes me very much.”

“ I asked Allison on a date and now we’re hanging out.”

“Am I not attractive to gay guys?”

“Make first line, and the team captain wants to destroy me, and now-now i’m gonna be late for work!” Scott marched off.

“Wait Scott! You didn’t answer my question! Am I attractive to gay guys- he didn’t answer my question,” He looked at you. “Oh my god wipe that smug look off of your face.”

“Sounds like you should’ve asked Danny to be your first kiss,” You teased, making him groan. “No no don’t be embarrassed! You two would make a very cute couple!”

“Not as cute as we would,” He smiled. You rolled your eyes again, shaking your head as you walked past him. “Wait, Y/N! Am I though?!”

“Take me home, Stilinski!” You replied, not even bothering to look behind you.

“Fine,” He mumbled, catching up to you and doing as instructed.

“This is so reckless,” You shined as Stiles pulled his jeep up to the school.

“Relax, I just- I need to do this, okay?” Scott replied, hopping out of the jeep, following Stiles.

“Right. Walking into a crime scene. What could you wrong?” You muttered to yourself, leaning back in the backseat. Stiles came back not even a minute later.

“Am I Robin?” He asked you.

“Stiles, we’ve been over this. I need an explanation when you ask something like that,” You said. “I can’t read your mind.”

“Scott’s Batman and I’m Robin,” He explained. You stayed silent. “Ugh! I knew it!”

“What does that make me then?”

“Alfred,” he said matter of factly.

“The fucking butler?!” You laughed. “Okay, I definitely have the shorter end of the stick here. I thought I’d be Lois Lane or something.”

“You hurt my heart when you say things like that,” Stiles cringed. “That’s Superman’s love interest.”

“Maybe even a Princess Leia,” You smirked.

“Okay, now you’re just trying to piss me off,” Stiles chuckled. “What’s next? You hate Star Wars?”

“Well-“

“Don’t.” His smile faded instantly, making you throw your head back in laughter. “Wait wait.. do you see that? Oh my god that’s a light!”

Stiles began to honk his horn to get Scott’s attention. Your heart raced at the thought of getting caught. There goes any chance of a full ride. You’d be lucky to be accepted into a community college at that. Scott jumped over the fence and got in the car.

“Go! Go! Go!” He shouted.

“Did it work?! Did you remember?!” Stiles yelled as he drove off.

“Yeah, I was there last night. And the blood. A lot of it was mine.”

“So you did attack him?” You asked.

“No. I saw glowing eyes in the bus, but they weren’t mine. It was Derek.”

“What about the driver?” Stiles interrogated.

“I think I was actually trying to protect him.”

“Wait, why would Derek help you remember that he attacked the driver?”

“That’s what I don’t get it.”

“It’s got to be a pack thing. Like an initiation. You do the kill together,” You said

“Because ripping someone’s throat out is a real bonding experience?” Scott asked sarcastically.

Yeah, but you didn’t do it. Which means you’re not a killer. And it also means that-“

“I can go out with Allison!”

“I was going to say it means that you won’t kill me,” Stiles finished

“Oh yeah.. that too,” Scott said.

“Can you guys take me home yet?” You asked.

“Shh, the adults are talking,” Scott smirked. You leaned forward and punched him in the arm. “OW!”

“Dude, you kinda had that one coming,” Stiles winced. The two boys continued to throw around ideas until you got to Scott’s house. He thanked Stiles before he walked off and you took the liberty of hopping in the front seat.

“Since everyone’s going out, do you wanna do something?” Stiles asked excitedly.

“You mean.. hang out?” You smirked.

“Ouch!” He pretended to grab at a wound on his chest, scrunching up his face.

“I’m kidding!” You laughed. “God, I wish I could but my dad’s about to leave for two weeks. I kind of have to go eat dinner with him tonight. Do you wanna come with me?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna intrude-”

“Are you kidding?” You laughed. “I’m convinced my dad likes you more than me.”

“Oh I think he does too. We’re tight. Sometimes he even games with me and Scott on Xbox but-”

“You guys play games with my father on Xbox,” you deadpanned. “Nerd by association my ass.”

“I’m going to choose to ignore that very hurtful comment and finish my sentence that you so rudely interrupted,” Stiles held up his hand. “But your mom scares the living hell out of me.”

“Yeahhh, she scares me too,” You chuckled. “She’s working the night shift though so it would just be the three of us. My dad’s making chicken parm.”

“Say no more,” He laughed, reversing the jeep so he could pull into your driveway. “Can’t promise you that I won’t play Call of Duty with him.”

“Is it too late to revoke my offer?” You rolled your eyes.

“It was too late as soon as you said he was making chicken parm.”

“Did I say chicken parm? I meant-”

“Look at that! We’re here!” Stiles shouted, hopping out of the jeep. You smiled as he opened your door. As you reached forward to open it, Lydia’s mom swung open the front door and yelped.

“Mrs. Martin?” You asked, confused as to why the hell she was in your house.

“Hi, Y/N! Stiles!” She smiled. “Have you seek Lydia? I’ve looked everywhere and I told her to be back by dinner. She just will not abide by the curfew and she’s driving me nuts.”

“Uh, I think she’s out on a double date but I don’t remember where they said they were going,” You covered. “I can call her if you’d like.”

“No, no. Thank you, sweetheart. I just needed to know she wasn’t alone,” She chuckled. “Have a good weekend, you two!”

“Yeah, you too,” Stiles mumbled before turning to you. “What the hell?”

You simply shrugged and continued to walk inside of the house.

“Hey, kiddo! I’m in here!” He shouted from the kitchen. You followed the sound of his voice and saw him washing off a few dishes and placing them in the dishwasher. “Your friend’s mom was just here. Have you heard from-”

“I let her know that Lydia’s out on a double date. With Scott and Allison actually,” You smiled, sitting down at the counter. “Are you cool with Stiles joining us for dinner?”

“Only if he promises to let me kick his ass on some Xbox!” He chuckled, throwing a small towel on his shoulder. “How’ve you been, son?”

“Good! But I haven’t let you beat me yet, Mr. Y/L/N. Not starting tonight,” Stiles laughed, still standing behind you.

“That’ll change in about an hour,” You father replied. “Dinner won’t be ready for another thirty minutes, though. You kids go upstairs, I’ll call you when it’s done.”

“Okay, Pops,” You got up and led Stiles to your room. Once he shuffled past you, you closed the door and turned to him. “He’s acting weird.”

“He’s acting totally normal. What do you mean?” Stiles laughed, walking to your computer.

“I don’t know. It’s just the vibe, I guess,” You mumbled. “You’re probably right. Anyways, whatcha researchin?”

“Okay so, hear me out,” He began, not looking away from the computer. “I was up late last night looking for more information regarding the Hales, specifically Laura Hale. I couldn’t stop thinking about why she could transform into a wolf. Get this, it says that only the strongest of werewolves are able to do that. Well, who’s typically the strongest wolf in a pack?”

“The alpha?”

“Exactly!” Stiles said, turning your screen towards you. “There were only a handful of survivors from the fire that burnt down their house. Laura, Derek, and an uncle, but he’s out of the picture because he was left like in a coma or something. Laura must’ve taken the role whenever the previous alpha died. Or maybe she was it the whole time. My theory is that Scott’s alpha might’ve killed her. For power or maybe they were intimidated or they were mortal enemies or-”

“Pause. Could she have been the one to turn him?” You interrupted.

“No because I think that would make Derek the alpha and his eyes aren’t red like the ones Scott’s seen,” Stiles dismissed. “All I’m saying is that, as if we need another reason not to trust him, we definitely shouldn’t be asking help from Derek if there’s tension between the packs.”

“Okay so the comatose uncle is completely out of the question then?” You asked. “How do we know he’s not faking it or something?”

“Because A.) he’s been bedridden and unresponsive for years, and B.) he.. wait it’s better to just show you,” Stiles typed for a minute before finding what he was looking for. “Ah! Here’s a picture. He hasn’t even healed. See? My best guess is that it burned the werewolf out of him.”

“Wait, wait so were they all bitten by their previous alpha?” You shook your head.

“Maybe,” He shrugged. “Or they were born that way. I read somewhere else that it’s possible.”

“God, I feel like the more we uncover, the more questions we’re left with,” You groaned, falling back into your bed. “Have you looked into werewolf hunters?”

“…No, actually,” he muttered after a few seconds. “That’s a good place to start tonight.”

“Stiles, I’m just so tired of researching all of this,” You said, looking up at your ceiling.

“Woah, now this is interesting,” He said, completely ignoring your comment. “They’re everywhere. Even Mexico!”

“That actually doesn’t shock me. Everything is in Mexico,” You laughed. “I have a cousin who lived down there and-”

“What if I email them and ask for information?!” He interrupted. “Maybe they can give us something to go off of. A book? A dark website?”

“Don’t. You might just lead them here and put Scott in even more danger than he’s already in,” You said, sitting up. “What if they’re all in league with each other?”

“But what if they’re not?”

“Stiles, it’s not worth the risk. The last thing we need is an army of werewolf hunters in Beacon Hills. Not when Scott can’t really keep it under control yet,” You argued. “Plus, I’m sure all they know about werewolves are how to torture and kill them.”

“Good point,” He sighed. “Yeah, I should just leave that alone then. It’s just frustrating because I feel like I’m running out of websites and books to read that seem legit.”

“Scott’s taking the night off. Let’s do the same! We can just do something to take our minds off of all of this,” You suggested. “We could watch a movie or play board games or-”

“I vote that we make out,” Stiles said, earning a disappointment glare. “What?? I’m just throwing it out there!”

“You definitely threw that option out of the window when you told Scott,” You laughed.

“What the hell did you expect me to do?!” He laughed. “Keep that to myself?”

“Yes, remember how I explicitly asked you to, and I quote, not tell anyone?” You deadpanned.

“Okay, I couldn’t just keep that from him, okay? He’s known how long I’ve wanted to kiss you for so he definitely had a right to know that it happened!” He defended his story, pausing only to see the look on your face. “I mean- fuck. The point is-”

“No, no, no. I want to hear your first point,” You smiled, getting up to poke his side.

“Stop! Stop!” He giggled, trying to run off to no avail. “Tickling is so not fair!”

“How long have you wanted to kiss me?” You kept on.

“Days!” He shouted, only to get another series of pokes. “OKAY! YEARS!”

“Years?” You stopped dead in your tracks, smile instantly dropping into a look of shock.

“Yeah, years,” He affirmed softly. “Since like elementary school, actually.”

“Why didn’t you ever-”

“Dinner’s ready!” Your dad barged into the room, causing the two of you to awkwardly stand in your respective sides of the room. “You ready for the best chicken parm you’ve ever laid your eyes on? I mean.. tongue on? Is there a better phrase for that?”

“Yeah, okay,” You finally managed to peel your eyes off of the boy standing in front of you. “Let’s, uh, go eat.”

“I think you mean feast!” Your dad said excitedly on the way downstairs, trying to ignore the weird tension in a subtle way. “And I was thinking. Maybe we should play Mario Kart on Y/N’s old Wii tonight instead of Xbox so everyone can join in on the fun.”

“Well, I’d hate to make two men pout when I dominate the game,” You teased, taking your seat at the table. “But if you’re looking to be humbled, I guess this is a good way of doing it.”

“What are you talking about?” Stiles laughed. “You got 5th place last time we played. And it was just three of us. You lost to not one but four computer generated players!”

“Stiles, you got 6th.”

“That’s beside the point,” He mumbled, taking his first bite of his dinner. “Mm, oh my god. Okay, this is hands down the best dinner I’ve ever had. Wow.”

“I’ll send you home with some leftovers,” Your dad chuckled. “You should come join us for dinner more often! The girls never appreciate my meals!”

You three spent the rest of the dinner cracking jokes. There was no longer any tension and you all told hilarious stories your and Stiles’ childhoods. Your dad jumped at the opportunity to tell Stiles a few embarrassing stories as well, making you hide into the arms you rested on the table. Once you cleared the table, you all played a couple rounds of Mario Kart. You ate your words and accepted the defeat. Your father placed first, Stiles third, and you fifth again.

“Alright, guys. I should probably hit the sack,” your dad looked at the clock. “I have an early flight tomorrow.”

“Alright, Dad. Love you,” You smiled from the couch. He walked over and placed a kiss on your forehead. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Love you too, kiddo,” He smiled. “I’ll be gone before you wake up but call me if you need anything. Thanks for swinging by, Stiles! I left the leftovers in a container in the fridge.”

“Thank you!” Stiles smiled. “Dude, your dad is seriously the best.”

“You’re only saying that because you two are practically the same person,” You laughed, turning off the TV. “Any word from your dad about the bus driver?”

Stiles sighed, looking down at your phone. He opened his mouth to say something but followed your distracted gaze. You both realized Scott’s mom was pulling into her driveway. “Oh shit. Weren’t we supposed to cover for Scott tonight?”

You both shot up and sprinted toward the door.

“Stiles, wait! Let me give her your leftovers!”

“What?! Why?!” He stopped as he reached for knob.

“I’ll knock and say that they’re for her! As a distraction!” You scoured the fridge for the leftovers and grabbed the container.

“I don’t like this idea!” He shouted.

“Well you won’t be able to make it up there unless I distract her!” You said opening and walking out of the door. “Go! I know the recipe! I’ll bring you some to school! Come on!”

“That’s bullshit but okay! I’m coming!” He ran behind you, splitting off as you walked to their front door. You rang the doorbell and knocked a few times before Melissa opened the door.

“Y/N! What are you doing here? It’s late,” She smiled. She already changed into her pajamas. Damn this woman moved quick.

“I saw you come home. My dad made chicken parm and I figured you’d be hungry after your shift,” You smiled, holding out the leftovers. You caught glimpse of Stiles climbing in your peripheral and moved a little to your left to guide Melissa’s gaze away from the clumsy boy.

“Oh, sweetheart!” She grinned. “That is so thoughtful, thank you! Come in, it’s chilly. Want a hot chocolate?”

“Oh, I don’t want to bother you-”

“I insist!” She smiled. “Unless you’re here to see Scott, I can go-”

“No!” You said a little to loudly before clearing your throat and smiling back. “No, I’m sure he’s asleep! But sure, I’ll take that hot chocolate.”

“Let me just make sure Scott is asleep. He’d hate to miss out on hot chocolate,” She smiled skeptically. You closed your eyes in shame as she walked upstairs, knowing you just blew the cover. You heard her call out to him before hearing her footsteps begin to go back down stairs again. “Y/N, do you happen to know where-”

She was interrupted by a loud thud from his room. You ran upstairs and she held you back, grabbing the bat on Scott’s floor and charging.

“OH, NO, NO!” Stiles shouted, making Melissa scream.

“Stiles, what the hell are you doing here?!” She exclaimed.

“What am I doing?!” He asked. “God, do either of you even play baseball?”

You saw Scott enter through the front door and run upstairs. He walked into his room and you followed.

“Can you please tell your friend to use the front door?” She said. “Like you, Y/N. Thank you for being a normal person.”

You chuckled, shaking your head at your family friend.

“But we lock the front door. He wouldn’t be able to get in,” Scott said.

“Yeah, exactly,” She glared. “And by the way, do any of you care that there’s a police-enforced curfew?”

“No,” You all mumbled.

“No. Alright then. Well, you know what?” She began. “That about enough parenting for me for one night so goodnight.”

“So no hot chocolate?” You teased, making her chuckle on the way out. You sat beside Stiles as Scott pulled up a chair to face at you.

“So I just found out that my dad left for the hospital 15 minutes ago,” Stiles sighed. “It’s the bus driver. He said that he succumbed to his wounds.”

Your eyes shot to look at Scott, heart sinking more and more by the second.

“Succumbed?” He asked.

“Scott, he’s dead,” Stiles mumbled.

“Take me to Derek’s house.”

CHAPTER 5 ->

—————

Omg the romantic tension is RISING. Years?! I’m living vicariously through this series lmao. Please let me know what you think of this series so far. Let me know if you have any suggestions, constructive criticism (besides the fact that I don’t proofread it lol i’m lazy, okay?), or if you want to be added to the tag list for upcoming chapters!! ily guys :3

@okay-j-hannah @mitchloveswriting @itscheybaby @cevans-winchester @moon-child @rrrogertaylor @janalustare @loveangelic69 @angelxfics @rutosruru-world

[cristobalcarpenterblog]

What to Do About the Pornographic Statue** on the Neighbor’s Front Lawn

When the Neighbors are the Dealbreaker

Prospective Buyer: “We love the house. But we could never live across the street from that pornographic statue.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . huh . . . I never noticed it.” Prospective Buyer: “Yeah . . . you can see it from inside when you look out the window.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . ahh . . umm . . are you talking about that one?” (points). Prospective Buyer: “It’s quite large.” Phil Dunphy: “I’ll take your word for it.”

—-Modern Family; “Marble With Wood” episode.

Unlike TV Realtor Phil Dunphy, I’ve never had a listing torpedoed by an obscene statue on the neighbor’s front lawn (this is Minnesota, after all).

But, I’ve had sales where the neighbor’s snowmobile(s)/kayak/under-repair-motorcycle was an issue.

Sugar vs. Vinegar

Step #1 is always a friendly, “We’d really appreciate it if you could relocate your [ _____ ] while our house is on the market.”

If the “For Sale” homeowner doesn’t feel comfortable making that request, it’s certainly appropriate for their agent to (note: a six-pack of beer and/or a helping hand can help grease the skids).

If that doesn’t work — depending on exactly how odious the item is — step #2 is in order.

Namely, contacting the local municipality to see if the offending item(s) violate any city ordinances.

See also, “More Phil Dunphy-isms.”

**The TV producers digitalized the statue’s offending parts.

P.S.: Next-door dumpsters can be a turn-off, too.

But, as I like to point out: a) they’re temporary; and b) they can indicate that the homeowner is doing a (major) remodel, which is good for adjacent home values.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230115 https://ift.tt/2R9crht via IFTTT

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: The Incredible Hulk

Hi, Everyone I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where Today We're Continuing Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe...

By Looking At The Film That Introduced That Big Green Monster Of Might, The Hulk To The MCU, The Incredible Hulk...

This Film Sees Bruce Banner (Played In This By Edward Norton, Before He Transformed Into Mark Ruffalo) As An Unwitting Pawn Of The U.S. Military, Led By General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (Played By William Hurt) Who Are Trying To Restart The Super Solider Program Which Led To The Creation Of Captain America But Without Erskiene's Formula It Leads To Hulky Results For Bruce Which Forces Him To Go On The Run From The Military Until He Can A Way To Cure Himself Of The Raging Spirit That Dwells Within Him...

But When Bruce Is Captured By Ross, His Worst Fears Are Realized When A Power Hungry Solider Named Emil Blonsky (Played By Tim Roth) Turns Into A Similar More Bestial Creature Named Abomination And Causes A Panic Throughout Harlem, Can Bruce Stop Blonsky With The Hulk?

Let's Find Out As We Watch The Incredible Hulk...

The Movie Starts With A Flashback That Shows Everything I Just Mentioned Including How Banner Became The Hulk (Which Looks Reminiscent Of The Bill Bixby Tv Series), And How Banner Went On The Run After Nearly Hurting His Love Interest, Betty Ross (Played By Liv Tyler) Who Is Daughter Of General Ross...

Years Later In Rio...

Seriously, How Banner Doesn't Run Into Dominic Toretto And His Crew There Is A Mystery To Me...

Bruce Holds Down A Job As Both Worked And...

In A Soda Factory While Also Trying To Find A Way To Control The Hulk By Taking A Medatation Class?...

Let's Hope Bruce Doesn't Become The Hulk There, Because The Last Superhero Who Was There? Well...Let's Just Say It Didn't End So Well...

While Also Working A Mystery Guy Named "Mr. Blue" On Ways To Cure Himself Of The Hulk At The Same Time, But When Some Of Bruce's Blood Ends Up In One Of The Soda Bottles At The Factory And Poisons An Old Man...

Stan Lee Cameo!

It Catches Ross's Attention And Soon Him, And His Men, Led By Emil Blonsky Are On Their Way To Rio To Find Bruce...

Getting A Message From Mr. Blue, He Says He Has Something That Might Cure Bruce But He Needs More Data (Which Bruce Doesn't Have) Otherwise He Can't Help Him...

Hearing Some Noise, Bruce Makes A Run For It As Blonsky And His Men Burst Into His Apartment But They Eventually Spot Bruce As He Runs From Street To Street And Rooftop To Rooftop...

Eventually Losing Both Blonsky And Ross. Bruce Ends Up Running Into Some Guy Who Was Hitting On A Friend Of His At The Soda Factory And Him And His Guys End Up Following Banner To The Soda Factory Where They Start Beating Up Banner Which Leads To Bruce Becoming The Hulk...

With Blonsky And His Boys Soon Arriving After The Hulk Beats Up Those Guys And Thrashes Everyone Except Blonsky...

Regrouping At Bruce's Apartment, They Find Bruce's Laptop Along With A Picture Of Betty, Which Eventually Leads To A Talk Between Blonsky And Ross, As Blonsky Feels That They Had Banner But When The Hulk Showed Up Everything Went South...

Interested In The Hulk, Blonsky Swears To Find Banner And Get Him To Tell Him Where To Find It, But Ross Simply Tells Him That That Thing Was Banner And Walks Off As He Tells Blonsky To Pack Up So They Can Go Home...

The Next Day In Guatemala, Bruce Wakes Up By A River As He Gets A Ride From Someone Heading Into Town, Asking Where Bruce Is Headed, Bruce Tells The Man In His Native Language That He's Headed Home...

Back In The States, Blonsky Talks With Ross As Tells Him That He's Not Stepping Away From This And Whatever He's Involved In, He Wants In...

Back In Guatemala...

Okay, What Is This? Why Are They Playing The Lonely Man Theme From The Incredible Hulk Tv Series? Not That I'm Not Happy To Hear It, But This Is A Movie Based On The Comic Book, Not A Movie Based On TV Series...

If I Wanted To See A Movie Based On The Tv Series I'd Watch One Of The Tv Movies That Have Daredevil And Thor In It (And Yes, This Is True) Either Way, It May Be A Good Easter Egg But It's Done For The Wrong Reasons, If Anything They Should Be Playing This Since Bruce Is Going Home...

Telling Blonsky We Already Saw In The Flashback At The Beginning Of The Movie (Only Thing We Really Learn Is That Bruce Thought That He Was Working On Radiation Resistance And Ross Never Told Him What The Real Experiment Was) And Says As Far As He's Concerned Bruce's Body Belongs To The U.S Government...

(Start At 0:45, End At 0:51)

Arriving At His University In Virginia, Bruce Spied On Betty Who Has Found A New Boyfriend In Phil Dunphy...

I'm Sorry, I Know That He's Supposed To Be Leonard Samson, But Ty Burrell Is Phil Dunphy And That's All I'll Ever See Him As...

Visiting A Pizza Place Called Stanley's, Bruce Catches Up With The Owner, Played By Hermey The Elf...

Seriously, The Guy Who Plays Stanley, Played Hermey The Elf In Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Which In Turn Makes Me Wonder If Stanley Has A Side Job As A Dentist...

He Offers Him The Room He Has Upstairs And He Asks To Borrow A Pizza Boy Delievry Outfit So He Can Keep The Guard (Played By Lou Ferigno) Distracted With A Free Pizza While He Tries To Get The Data He's Looking For Only To Discover That It's Not There...

Telling Mr. Blue This, He Says That Without It, He Can't Help...

But As He Prepares To Leave, Betty And Phil Stop By Stanley's Only For Betty To Catch A Glimpse Of Bruce...

Asking Stanley To Tell Her The Truth, He Tells Betty That Bruce Is Back, Which Leads Her To Confront Bruce On The Bridge Which Leads To A Tearful Reunion For The Former Lovers...

Taking Bruce To Her House, She Gives Bruce A Drive Which Contains All Their Data And Info That The Military Erased, But Wondering Why They Can't Just Talk With Her Father And That's Because He Told Bruce That He Wants To Make The Hulk Into A Weapon...

Taking Blonsky To A Lab, Ross Injects Blonsky With The Same Stuff Banner Injected Himself With But Warns Him That At The First Sign Of Any Side Effects, He's Off The Team Until He Straightens Out...

The Next Day Betty Takes Bruce To The Campus To Say Goodbye But Turns Out Phil Dunphy Was Like...

(Start At 0:44, End At 0:55)

And Called Betty's Father To Come Get Bruce...

Going Through A Building To Get Away From Ross's Forces, They Eventually Lock Bruce Into An Overpass As They Fire Tear Gas Inside...

(Start At 0:36)

Ross Thanks Phil For Calling Him, But Phil Is Not So Sure Now As The Hulk Protected Her And Ross Almost Killed Her But Either Way Bruce Would Get His Revenge On Phil Later When He Autotuned Him On YouTube And It Went Viral...

(Start At 0:06)

Taking Betty To A Cave, The Hulk Is Hurt By A Thunderbolt (Possibly By Thor) Which Forces Betty Calm Him Down As He Thinks He's Under Attack...

Eventually Getting The Hulk To Calm Down, They Get Some Sleep...

Checking On Blonsky In The Hospital, It Appears That The Hulk But As The Saying Goes, He May Be Down, But He's Not Out As Blonsky Appears To Be Healing Rapidly...

The Next Day, The Hulk Has Turned Back Into Bruce And Bruce And Betty Go To A Motel Where They Stay For Now...

With Bruce Taking A Shower, Betty Soon Arrives With Provisions Including A New Heart Rate Watch And Purple Pants...

Giving Bruce A Haircut, It Eventually Leads To The Two About To Have Sex But Turns Out Because Of The Hulk Bruce Can't Get Too Excited...

When Someone Comes In About Blonsky, Ross Goes To See Him Only To Discover That Blonsky Is Completely Healed On All The Injuries The Hulk Gave Him...

Dumping Betty's Phone And Credit Cards As They Can Track That, Betty Sells A Necklace That Probably Belonged To Her Mother In Order To Get Some Cash, While Bruce Sends The Data To Mr. Blue, However, S.H.I.E.L.D. Copies The E-mail And Sends It Ross's Way Along With The Identity Of Mr. Blue, Which Happens To Be A Doctor Samuel Sterns...

If The Name Sounds Familiar, That's Because That's The Leader (Apparently Before He Became The Leader)

Eventually Arriving In New York, Bruce And Betty Soon Find Themselves In Crazy Taxi...

(Crazy Taxi Announcer) Hey!!! You Got 5 CRAZY Minutes To Get Your Passenger To His Destination Before He Turns Into The Hulk And Kills You For Being So CRAZY!!!!!

Before They Arrive At The University, Where Sterns Works And He Finally Meets Bruce...

Talking With Sterns, He Tells Bruce And Betty That Even Everything Goes Perfectly And They Induce A Hulk Out And And Get The Exact Dosage Right, They Don't Know If It'll Be A Lasting Cure, Just An Antidote To Suppress That Particular Hulk Out Or Worse, Kill Bruce. But Willing To Take The Risk, Sterns Gets Ready...

Back At Ross's Base, Blonsky Starts Noticing Changes In His Bone Structure But Doesn't Tells Ross About Because He Feels Like A Monster...

Tying Bruce Down On A Table, Sterns Shocks Bruce Full Of Electricity And Causes A Hulk Out But With Help From Betty In Calming Him Down, The "Cure" Is Injected And Bruce Goes Back To Normal...

Not Believing What He Just Saw, Sterns Tells Bruce And Betty That The Gamma Pulse Came From The Amygdala And Betty's Primer Let Bruce's Cells Absorb The Energy And Then Abated It (Which Is Basically How Bruce Didn't Die Of Radiation Poisoning Years Ago) Maybe They've Neutralized The Cells Permanently Or Maybe They Just Suppressed That Event But Either Way It's Hard To Tell As None Of Sterns' Test Subjects Survived...

Not Liking That Sterns Said That, Sterns Shows Bruce To A Room With Bags Of Blood That's Bruce's As Bruce Didn't Give Sterns Much To Work With So He Had To Replicate It. Seeing Limitless Possibilities With It, Bruce Tells Sterns That He Doesn't Understand And They Need To Destroy The Blood...

But As Sterns And Bruce Bicker About This, A Sniper On The Rooftop Across The Way, Shoots Bruce With A Tranquilizer As Blonsky Bursts In And Punches Bruce In An Effort To Bring Out The Hulk But Bruce Is Tranqed And It's Pointless...

Carrying Bruce On A Stretcher, Betty Tells Her Father That She Will Never Forgive Her Father For What He's Made Bruce Into And To Never Speak Her As His Daughter Again...

Knocking Out The Soliders Questioning Sterns, Blonsky Tells Sterns To Inject Him With Bruce's Blood But Realizing That Blonsky Is On Something Sterns Warns Him That If He Injects Banner's Blood Into Him Without Knowing What He's Already On It Could Turn Him Into An Abomination...

Ooh, Foreshadowing....

Not Giving Sterns Much Of An Option, He Injects Blonsky With Bruce's Blood And It Transforms Him Into The Abomination...

Tossing Sterns On The Ground, Some Of Bruce's Blood Ends Up Inside Of Sterns And Starts To Transform Him Into The Leader For A Possible Sequel That'll Never Happen At This Point...

Causing Destruction To Try To Get The Hulk's Attention, Seeing Everything That's Happening On The Ground On From The Plane, Ross Knows That Abomination Is Blonsky And That They Have To Go Back To Help The Remaining Soliders On The Ground...

This Leads Bruce To Suggest To Let Him Fight Blonsky Despite Him Having No Control Over The Hulk...

(Imitating Bill Murray In Ghostbusters) If I'm Wrong, I'll Go To Whatever Government Jail Cell You Have Waiting For Me, Peacefully, Quietly, I'll Enjoy It, But If I'm Right, Thunderbolt, You Will Have Saved The Lives Of Everyone In This City...

Lowering The Ramp For Bruce, Betty Tries To Stop Him As She Doesn't Know If He'll Even Change, But Either Way He Has To Try As Bruce Gives Betty A Kiss Before He Goes...

A Few Weeks Later In British Columbia, We See Bruce Back Living A Life Of Solitude In A Cabin As He Has Given Up His Search For A Cure And Instead Seeks To Control Him As Our Movie Ends...

In A Pre-Credits Scene, We See General Ross Having A Few Drinks When He's Confronted By Tony Stark (Played Again By Robert Downey Jr.) Who Tells Ross That He's Putting A Team Together...

However, In A Marvel One Shot Called The Consultant, It's Revealed That Stark Was Only Sent In To Piss Off Ross So Much To The Point That He Wouldn't Give S.H.I.E.L.D. Blonsky So He Could Join The Avenger Initiative Which Both Fury And Coulson Did Not Want To Happen Despite The World Security Council Wanting Blonsky Because Of His Decorated War Hero Status And Saying That The Harlem Incident Was Bruce's Fault...

This Movie Is Okay...

It's Not Bad It's A Good Movie, I Like The Characters, The Story Is Nice And The Action Scenes When They Happen Are Awesome But Sometimes The Talking And Science Babble Goes On Forever And It Sometimes Gets Boring But I Still Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[thekookies]

21 questions!

thanks lovie @radiobribri for tagging me 💘

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better

nickname: má is what most people call me, my sister calls me mary and i have some friends that call me poppy (and my dad and grandma have all sorts of nicknames they like to call me lol)

starsign: sun is aqua moon is leo

what i’m wearing: mum jeans and a harry styles jumper!!

dream job: i wanted to be artistic enough to work at a museum or work with fashion

favourite quote: there is this one in portuguese “deus manda o frio conforme o cobertor” which literally means “god sends the cold according to the size of your blanket” and even tho im not at all religious it always calms me down??lol i take it like a “you will go through things and overcome bad stuff” does that make sense

favourite food: look there are too many and yes pizza is my soulmate but may i say that my nans arabic food just *~slams~*

favourite movie: forrest gump always and forever

favourite sport: i dont care about sports but i understand football so i appreciate it a lot whenever the national team is playing and also tennis is ok

dream trip: i want to visit every single country there is and this changes every week so at the moment i would love to spend a month in india just getting to know a bit more of the culture

languages: my native language is portuguese but im also fluent in english and french and i can understand some italian and speak a little spanish (also i know how to read in polish lol i get the pronounciation of things but have no idea what im saying)

favourite song: this changes every day because it depends on my mood??so today it’s a taro by alt-j kinda day

favourite book: i have too many but les misérables is my latest favourite jksjskdk

what do i hate: the president of this shithole country and people commenting on the food that im eating lol (if its a “oh that looks nice” its ok but that are some comments that honestly...)

random fact: i love public transport (when it’s not packed with people of course)

describe yourself as aesthetic things: idk but maybe rainy days, crisp early mornings, dimly lit restaurants, the smell of coffee when you walk in a café, the buzz before a concert?? im not that cool tho lol

do i get asks: no lol but i love talking to people so feel free to

other blogs: if i have other blogs? if so no i don’t

hogwarts house: im a proud hufflepuff

patronus: a ragdoll cat hihi

favourite characters: chandler bing and phil dunphy

any update on fics: -

i’d like to tag: @tanya-is-dead @freddiemercumay @rogershamsandwich @denimmay @joemazzelo @rogerinascigarette and literally anyone that feels like doing this 💘💘💘

[hasnainamjad]

Java is one of the most in-demand programming languages in the world and one of the two official programming languages used in Android development (the other being Kotlin). Developers familiar with Java are highly employable and capable of building a wide range of different apps, games, and tools. In this Java tutorial for beginners, you will take your first steps to become one such developer! We’ll go through everything you need to know to get started, and help you build your first basic app.

What is Java?

Java is an object-oriented programming language developed by Sun Microsystems in the 1990s (later purchased by Oracle).

“Object oriented” refers to the way that Java code is structured: in modular sections called “classes” that work together to deliver a cohesive experience. We’ll discuss this more later, but suffice to say that it results in versatile and organized code that is easy to edit and repurpose.

Java is influenced by C and C++, so it has many similarities with those languages (and C#). One of the big advantages of Java is that it is “platform independent.” This means that code you write on one machine can easily be run on a different one. This is referred to as the “write once, run anywhere” principle (although it is not always that simple in practice!).

To run and use Java, you need three things:

The JDK – Java Development Kit

The JRE – The Java Runtime Environment

The JVM – The Java Virtual Machine

The Java Virtual Machine ensures that your Java applications have access to the minimum resources they need to run. It is thanks to the JVM that Java code is so easily run across platforms.

The Java Runtime Environment provides a “container” for those elements and your code to run in. The JDK is the “compiler” that interprets the code itself and executes it. The JDK also contains the developer tools you need to write Java code (as the name suggests!).

The good news is that developers need only concern themselves with downloading the JDK – as this comes packed with the other two components.

How to get started with Java programming

If you plan on developing Java apps on your desktop computer, then you will need to download and install the JDK.

You can get the latest version of the JDK directly from Oracle. Once you’ve installed this, your computer will have the ability to understand and run Java code. However, you will still need an additional piece of software in order to actually write the code. This is the “Integrated Development Environment” or IDE: the interface used by developers to enter their code and call upon the JDK.

When developing for Android, you will use the Android Studio IDE. This not only serves as an interface for your Java (or Kotlin) code, but also acts as a bridge for accessing Android-specific code from the SDK. For more on that, check out our guide to Android development for beginners.

For the purposes of this Java tutorial, it may be easier to write your code directly into a Java compiler app. You can download these for Android and iOS, or even find web apps that run in your browser. These tools provide everything you need in one place and let you start testing code.

I recommend compilejava.net.

How easy is it to learn Java programming?

If you’re new to Java development, then you may understandably be a little apprehensive. How easy is Java to learn?

This question is somewhat subjective, but I would personally rate Java as being on the slightly harder end of the spectrum. While easier than C++ and is often described as more user-friendly, it certainly isn’t quite as straightforward as options like Python or BASIC which sit at the very beginner-friendly end of the spectrum. For absolute beginners who want the smoothest ride possible, I would recommend Python as an easier starting point.

C# is also a little easier as compared with Java, although they are very similar.

Also read: An introduction to C# for Android for beginners

Of course, if you have a specific goal in mind – such as developing apps for Android – it is probably easiest to start with a language that is already supported by that platform.

Java has its quirks, but it’s certainly not impossible to learn and will open up a wealth of opportunities once you crack it. And because Java has so many similarities with C and C#, you’ll be able to transition to those languages without too much effort.

Also read: I want to developed Android apps – which languages should I learn?

What is Java syntax?

Before we dive into the meat of this Java for beginners tutorial, it’s worth taking a moment to examine Java syntax.

Java syntax refers to the way that things are written. Java is very particular about this, and if you don’t write things in a certain way, then your code won’t run!

I actually wrote a whole article on Java syntax for Android development, but to recap on the basics:

Most lines should end with a semicolon “;”

The exception is a line that opens up a new code block. This should end with an open curly bracket “{“. Alternatively, this open bracket can be placed on a new line beneath the statement. Code blocks are chunks of code that perform specific, separate tasks.

Code inside the code block should then be indented to set it apart from the rest.

Open code blocks should be closed with a closing curly bracket “}”.

Comments are lines preceded by “//”

If you hit “run” or “compile” and you get an error, there is a high chance it’s because you missed off a semi-colon somewhere!

You will never stop doing this and it will never stop being annoying. Joy!

With that out of the way, we can dive into the Java tutorial proper!

Java basics: your first program

Head over to compilejava.net and you will be greeted by an editor with a bunch of code already in it.

(If you would rather use a different IDE or app that’s fine too! Chances are your new project will be populated by similar code.)

Delete everything except the following:

public class HelloWorld { public static void main(String[] args) { } }

This is what we refer to “in the biz” (this Java tutorial is brought to you by Phil Dunphy) as “boilerplate code.” Boilerplate is any code that is required for practically any program to run.

The first line here defines the “class” which is essentially a module of code. We then need a method within that class, which is a little block of code that performs a task. In every Java program, there needs to be a method called main, as this tells Java where the program starts.

You won’t need to worry about the rest until later. All we need to know for this Java tutorial right now is that the code we actually want to run should be placed within the curly brackets beneath the word “main.”

Place the following statement here:

System.out.print("Hello world!");

This statement will write the words “Hello world!” on the screen. Hit “Compile & Execute” and you’ll be able to see it in action! (It’s a programming tradition to make your first program in any new language say “Hello world!” Programmers are a weird bunch.)

Congratulations! You just wrote your first Java app!

Introducing variables in Java

Now it’s time to cover some more important Java basics. Few things are more fundamental to programming than learning how to use variables!

A variable is essentially a “container” for some data. That means you’ll choose a word that is going to represent a value of some sort. We also need to define variables based on the type of data that they are going to reference.

Three basic types of variable that we are going to introduce in this Java tutorial are:

Integers – Whole numbers.

Floats – Or “floating point variables.” These contain full numbers that can include decimals. The “floating point” refers to the decimal place.

Strings – Strings contain alphanumeric characters and symbols. A typical use for a string would be to store someone’s name, or perhaps a sentence.

Once we define a variable, we can then insert it into our code in order to alter the output. For example:

public class HelloWorld { public static void main(String[] args) { String name = "Adam"; System.out.print("Hello " + name); } }

In this example code, we have defined a string variable called “name.” We did this by using the data type “String”, followed by the name of our variable, followed by the data. When you place something in inverted commas in Java, it will be interpreted verbatim as a string.

Now we print to the screen as before, but this time have replaced “Hello world!” With “Hello ” + name. This shows the string “Hello “, followed by whatever value is contained within the following String variable!

The great thing about using variables is that they let us manipulate data so that our code can behave dynamically. By changing the value of name you can change the way the program behaves without altering any actual code!

Conditional statements in Java tutorial

Another of the most important Java basics, is getting to grips with conditional statements.

Conditional statements use code blocks that only run under certain conditions. For example, we might want to grant special user privileges to the main user of our app. That’s me by the way.

So to do this, we could use the following code:

public class HelloWorld { public static void main(String[] args) { String name = "Adam"; System.out.print("Hello " + name +"\r\n"); if (name == "Adam") { System.out.print("Special user priveledges granted!"); } } }

Run this code and you’ll see that the special permissions are granted. But if you change the value of name to something else, then the code won’t run!

This code uses an “if” statement. This checks to see if the statement contained within the brackets is true. If it is, then the following code block will run. Remember to indent your code and then close the block at the end! If the statement in the brackets is false, then the code will simply skip over that section and continue from the closed brackets onward.

Notice that we use two “=” signs when we check data. You use just one when you assign data.

Methods in Java tutorial

One more easy concept we can introduce in this Java tutorial is how to use methods. This will give you a bit more idea regarding the way that Java code is structured and what can be done with it.

All we’re going to do, is take some of the code we’ve already written and then place it inside another method outside of the main method:

public class HelloWorld { public static void main(String[] args) { String name = "Adam"; System.out.print("Hello " + name +"\r\n"); if (name == "Adam") { grantPermission(); } } static void grantPermission() { System.out.print("Special user priveledges granted!"); } }

We created the new method on the line that starts “static void.” This states that the method defines a function rather than a property of an object and that it doesn’t return any data. You can worry about that later!

But anything we insert inside the following code block will now run any time that we “call” the method by writing its name in our code: grantPermission(). The program will then execute that code block and return to the point it left from.

Were we to write grantPermission() multiple times, the “Special user privileges granted!” message would be displayed multiple times! This is what makes methods such fundamental Java basics: they allow you to perform repetitive tasks without writing out code over and over!

Passing arguments in Java

What’s even better about methods though, is that they can receive and manipulate variables. We do this by passing variables into our methods as “Strings.” This is what the brackets following the method name are for.

In the following example, I have created a method that receives a string variable, and I have called that nameCheck. I can then refer to nameCheck from within that code block, and its value will be equal to whatever I placed inside the curly brackets when I called the method.

For this Java tutorial, I’ve passed the “name” value to a method and placed the if statement inside there. This way, we could check multiple names in succession, without having to type out the same code over and over!

Hopefully, this gives you an idea of just how powerful methods can be!

public class HelloWorld { public static void main(String[] args) { String name = "Adam"; System.out.print("Hello " + name +"\r\n"); checkUser(name); } static void checkUser(String nameCheck) { if (nameCheck == "Adam") { System.out.print("Special user priveledges granted!"); } } }

That’s all for now!

That brings us to the end of this Java tutorial. Hopefully, you now have a good idea of how to learn Java. You can even write some simple code yourself: using variables and conditional statements, you can actually get Java to do some interesting things already!

The next stage is to understand object-oriented programming and classes. This understanding is what really gives Java and languages like it their power, but it can be a little tricky to wrap your head around at first!

Read also: What is Object Oriented Programming?

The best place to learn more Java programming? Check out our amazing guide from Gary Sims that will take you through the entire process and show you how to leverage those skills to build powerful Android apps. You can get 83% off your purchase if you act now!

Of course, there is much more to learn! Stay tuned for the next Java tutorial, and let us know how you get on in the comments below.

Other frequently asked questions

Q: Are Java and Python similar? A: While these programming languages have their similarities, Java is quite different from Python. Python is structure agnostic, meaning it can be written in a functional manner or object-oriented manner. Java is statically typed whereas Python is dynamically typed. There are also many syntax differences.

Q: Should I learn Swift or Java? A: That depends very much on your intended use-case. Swift is for iOS and MacOS development.

Q: Which Java framework should I learn? A: A Java framework is a body of pre-written code that lets you do certain things with your own code, such as building web apps. The answer once again depends on what your intended goals are. You can find a useful list of Java frameworks here.

Q: Can I learn Java without any programming experience? A: If you followed this Java tutorial without too much trouble, then the answer is a resounding yes! It may take a bit of head-scratching, but it is well worth the effort.

source https://www.androidauthority.com/java-tutorial-for-beginners-write-a-simple-app-with-no-previous-experience-1121975/

[fuzz1912]

An iPod. A phone.

Ten years ago, I had the random luck of landing in New York at 6pm on June 29. Something else was happening at that time, and I wasn’t about to let the opportunity to be a part of it pass me by.

Other than being an Apple fanboy for years, I was (and still am) a tragic early adopter with a firm belief in the potential for technology to simplify and enhance our lives. Back in that PC-centric world, this translated to faith in what Steve Jobs described as the ‘digital hub’ - having a (likely desktop) computer be the central repository for your communications (email), documents, photos, music and movies, connected to other satellite devices such as a phone, laptop, camera, music player (ahem, iPod) and video camera feeding them content. It was a remarkably clear and tidy vision allowing a true digital library of your life at your fingertips (provided you were seated in front of your computer), however it relied on one being able to have any or all of those devices available to you when you wanted to acquire that content.

That’s a lot of devices to carry around, and pockets / bags have limited space within. I recall my daily morning routine of putting my phone, keys, wallet and iPod carefully in my pockets to minimise bulge, packing my laptop and sometimes camera (and, very rarely when travelling, video camera) in my bag, and feeling like I had everything I needed at my disposal (while hoping that nothing fell out or was stolen). And of course, the devices in your bag (and the ones left behind) were never easily accessible or useful, being large and unwieldy to carry on their own or together.

Email was simply inaccessible without a laptop and WiFi. Blackberries were a novelty at the time and the preserve of high-powered executives and consultants - even as someone then working in a corporate environment, only the most senior members of my firm carried them. Some particularly adventurous individuals had digital personal organisers called PalmPilots to store their contacts and calendars, but these were of little use beyond that. I’d been working at a conference a few years earlier when I observed many of the participants carrying around small PalmPilot-like devices called iPAQs that hooked up to WiFi gave them access to their conference schedules as well as their emails. I thought this was the bees knees, and couldn’t wait to see this technology filter down to the consumer market. 

The hottest things in mobile phone technology back then were polyphonic ringtones, stamp sized photos sent through MMS, and the devices getting smaller. Despite being around for some time in Australia, apparently texting through SMS was only just becoming widespread in the US - but of course was stunted by its 160 character limit (hmm, why does that seem familiar?). You’d type a text through the muscle memory of knowing how many times to press a number on the pad to toggle a particular character - and wait a few seconds if consecutive characters were assigned to the same number. The manual process of entering contacts was laborious and repetitive, especially when changing devices or SIM cards, as there was no easy way to transfer them.

Eventually, HP and other vendors started offering devices (‘Pocket PCs’) like the ones I’d seen at the conference to consumers, at fairly astronomical prices. Some had WiFi included thanks to horrendously large antennae, while others required the purchase of a separate SD card for connectivity. Most shipped with the ironically-named Windows Mobile and required a stylus and an abstract Palm-esque character system for handwriting recognition (or an absolutely tiny software keyboard that needed to be prodded by said stylus). Due to the limits of this character recognition and the resistive screens of these devices, this experience was fraught with errors and inaccuracies. Other devices had large Blackberry-style physical keyboards requiring a similar symphony of thumb presses, this time somewhat resembling the experience of using a regular keyboard but with greater potential for RSI. Palm had such a product called the Treo, as did Motorola (then-known for its extremely popular slim flip-phone, the RAZR, and less so for its clunky iTunes Phone, the ROKR) with the Q.

In 2005, once Pocket PCs finally started to incorporate a mobile phone as well, I saved up and splurged on what I thought to be one of the most elegant - the i-mate JAM. About the size of the original iPod, it was compact but with a then-decent sized screen. Its ability to recognise one abstractly-scribbled word at a time felt like a revelation, and turned the one-character-at-a-time experience of texting and writing emails into something slightly more fluid. Of course, emailing and web-browsing were limited by the need for WiFi (and I did buy one of those silly SD cards for occasional use) and the awful and very rare mobile-optimised websites (the ‘baby web’ as Steve Jobs would go on to call it). I could get useful information such as weather forecasts, but only occasionally when hooked up to WiFi through that card - forget about getting anything useful through 2G GPRS data - or download a bunch of information at a time when syncing to my computer (clunky though it was, given it ran Windows and I used a Mac). But the fact that it did sync to my computer at all, and provided all (well, most) of my contacts when I needed them felt incredibly useful - instead of having to repeatedly press a button to scroll through my contacts to make a call, I’d simply find it using my stylus. I’d occasionally even get by scribbling characters messily with my thumb or forefinger, but for most intents and purposes the stylus was the most effective method for input. 

Several years earlier, the iPod had stormed the market for portable music players and effectively killed portable CD players - despite lukewarm efforts by other manufacturers to build MP3 players or alternative technologies like MiniDisc. Ostensibly, the iPod triumphed over its competitors due to its straightforward ability to sync a library through iTunes, its non-removable hard drive for storage, as well as its simple user interface and click wheel - which, despite the steady addition of photos, videos and games, few people felt could be adapted for other purposes like a phone. At the same time, despite the ROKR flop, phones were starting to include the ability to store and play music - which posed a long-term existential threat to the iPod. Much as the hard-drive based iPod Mini was killed and replaced by the superior flash-based iPod Nano, so too would the iPod itself need to be replaced by a convergent product. Similarly, ‘3G’ phones were providing limited online walled-gardens where carriers would provide certain services or information, thereby also posing a threat to the nascent Pocket PC market as well.

I say all this because I was one of those people searching for the mythical ‘one device’ that would replace all of these others and surpass their various limitations. There had already been considerable talk and rumour-mongering of an ‘iPod Phone’ which I hoped would come to pass eventually, but had no idea how soon that would be. In January 2007, I was utterly amazed to see Steve Jobs unveil just that: not just a better widescreen iPod with touch controls, not just a better mobile phone, and not just a more effective way to get information from the internet - but all three of those in one. Gone were both stylus and click wheel, replaced by a smooth capacitive touch interface that allowed you to use your always-available fingers to do everything you needed - and with barely any physical buttons, the entire screen was the phone, and the UI adapted to the needs of the specific app you were using. There was no physical keyboard simply because there was no need for one. This device was not just an iPod, a phone, or an internet communicator - it really was a computer in your pocket. 

It was the third part of the ‘device’ that spoke to me the most and I was surprised at how lukewarm its reception was at the time - being able to view whole web pages at a time and tap to zoom in on the content you were interested was absolutely mind-blowing (and now that it’s dead, we can forget the minor inconvenience of not being able to view battery-hogging Adobe Flash content). And add to that the fact that it also had maps and a limited type of GPS as well, so it could potentially also replace a Melway (our local street directory), printed directions or even those expensive in-car GPS systems. Unlike the Blackberry or even Pocket PCs before it, this was a smart phone that any consumer signing up to a telco contract could access - and to top it off, on a technological level it left those predecessors firmly in the dust. 

With that kind of tremendous change came a predictably hostile response from the incumbents and pundits, all of whom couldn’t grasp how such a device could have anything but niche appeal when it was so different to what success currently looked like and what they believed people then wanted out of their phones (see Steve Jobs’ later co-option of Wayne Gretzky’s line about skating to where the puck will be, not where it’s been). I, on the other hand, was a true believer, and wouldn’t be brought down by such negativity - even if it was reasonable or proved to be valid (happily for me, it wads neither). I was well and truly sold and, being unable to bear the anticipation of getting my hands on this game-changing device, skinned my JAM to resemble the iPhone interface and patiently waited to hear when we might be lucky enough to get an Australian release for the device - likely months or years down the track.

So you can imagine my excitement when by chance I was asked to chaperone my nephew on a vacation to New York that just happened to land on the day the iPhone was released (Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy had a similar description for how fate aligned the stars to make his birthday coincide with the release of the iPad several years later). We landed just as the doors would have opened at Fifth Avenue and the first lucky customers who had lined up days earlier would walk out with their shiny new toys. Despite the 20-odd hour journey, I pleaded with the relatives we were staying with to take me to the nearest Apple Store as soon as we unpacked. The last thing I wanted to do was go that far and find the product had sold out. Luckily, this was a mall store in Long Island, and I was completely shocked to find no queue, not that many people around, and plenty of stock sitting at the counter. It seemed not quite everyone was sold on the future just as yet. I did not hesitate, and walked out of there USD 600-odd lighter.

Of course many people then posed the obvious question to me: as an Australian, what good was a phone locked to a US carrier that couldn’t even be activated without signing up to a contract? I may have been blinded by my enthusiasm, but I wasn’t stupid about it - and luckily again, the particular circumstances surrounding the original iPhone conspired to make things work for me. Despite the lack of the ‘outright’ device purchasing model at that time in the US, the original iPhone had the carrier subsidy built into the contract, not the device itself - so while you did have to sign up to a two-year contract to use the phone, you did that after purchasing the phone at an ‘outright’ (not subsidised) price. So the sting in the tail was a USD 300 cancellation fee if you left prior to the end of the two years. Factoring this as a cost of purchasing a ‘widescreen iPod with touch controls’ and ‘breakthrough internet communicator’ I persuaded my relatives to take up then AT&T contract so that I could activate the device, and would reimburse them for the cancellation fee. But again luck struck - as the phone was effectively purchased at an unsubsidised price, the contract termination fee didn’t kick in until 30 days after purchase - so I got my device (without the phone) at its sticker price (and even better, would later be refunded USD 100 when Steve Jobs finally realised he’d ripped off all of us early adopters a little too much). When I finally made the pilgrimage to the Fifth Avenue store a few days later, I picked up another one for my (now) wife.

Using this ‘touch iPod’ (soon to be made redundant by an actual iPod Touch) during those early days was a total thrill, and completely surpassed the experience of using my not-very-old-but-ancient-feeling Pocket PC. The skeuomorphic ability to touch the device with your fingers and have it appear to respond in a physically consistent way was tremendous. Certainly it also had appeal as a novelty - its absence from the Australian market did result in quite a bit of interest from friends and onlookers after my return. I was somewhat surprised by the quality of the photographs it took, though not sufficiently to use it to regularly replace my point and shoot or DSLR. And it definitely became my full-time iPod, as the cover flow visuals and multitouch interface made up for its relatively modest 8GB storage. But, as if that weren’t enough, within a few months enterprising hackers had found the Death Star's weakness, and exploited it to allow people to jailbreak the iPhone and unlock it from its Apple and AT&T shackles. While it was by no means the easiest or risk-free process and required a bit of technical know-how, thanks to some pretty detailed instructions published by said legends I was able to carefully work my way through them and fully unlock the phone - making it almost fully functional at home and allowing me to finally ditch my other mobile phone. Of course, our mobile telco plans were then still stuck in past as far as data, and I had to switch carriers to find a 'reasonable' plan that gave me a 'generous' allowance of 50MB/month (thanks Virgin Mobile!). But for the limited purposes of browsing and checking email in that data-lite era, this was still enough for the experience to be a revelation.

It's true that it wasn't until the iPhone 3G launched (and was finally made available in Australia as well) that the iPhone started to feel more like a mature product - and the local availability of the 3G obviated the need for the various workarounds and hacks I had to employ to make use of the original. Many of the features weren't really refined or perfected until the iPhone 4 or 5. A feature film was shot entirely on an iPhone 5S, and the capabilities of today's iPhone 7 (as well as the iPad, the iPhone's spiritual sibling, on which I’m typing this post) are drastically beyond what most people can fully utilise as they can store your entire (much larger) media library locally or access it through the cloud. Our phones now no longer look like they used to then - all modern phones and tablets still have the same basic form factor and layout as the 10 year old original iPhone, which truly felt like the opening of the technological floodgates and the start of an incredible paradigm shift. Of course, that shift has had many positive as well as negative consequences since - most notably, as a function of its widespread adoption, how we communicate with others, interact socially, and work outside the office - but that is always the way with (and cost of) progress. 

Today, a 'phone' truly can be the only thing you need to carry with you - as well as those original applications (phone, media, web), it's now commonly the only camera and video camera you'll use, the only (or most common) computer you'll use (with apps that can do almost anything you would have needed a desktop or laptop for), your car navigation, your wallet, even your keys. And all of that effectively started with Apple’s 'one device', ten years ago today.

[onceuponwatermelon]

curta se pegar :)

phil’s-osophy headers pt 2

[onceuponwatermelon]

curta se pegar :)

phil’s-osophy headers pt 1

[cristobalcarpenterblog]

What to Do About the Pornographic Statue* on the Neighbor’s Front Lawn

When the Neighbors are the Dealbreaker

Prospective Buyer: “We love the house.  But we could never live across the street from that pornographic statue.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . huh . . . I never noticed it.” Prospective Buyer: “Yeah . . . you can see it from inside when you look out the window.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . ahh . . umm . . are you talking about that one?” (points). Prospective Buyer:  “It’s quite large.” Phil Dunphy: “I’ll take your word for it.”

–-Modern Family; “Marble With Wood” episode.

Unlike TV Realtor Phil Dunphy, I’ve never had a listing torpedoed by an obscene statue on the neighbor’s front lawn (this is Minnesota, after all).

But, I’ve had sales where the neighbor’s snowmobile(s)/kayak/under-repair-motorcycle was an issue.

Sugar vs. Vinegar

Step #1 is always a friendly, “We’d really appreciate it if you could relocate your [ _____ ] while our house is on the market.”

If the “For Sale” homeowner doesn’t feel comfortable making that request, it’s certainly appropriate for their agent to (note:  a six-pack of beer and/or a helping hand can help grease the skids).

If that doesn’t work — depending on exactly how odious the item is — step #2 is in order.

Namely, contacting the local municipality to see if the offending item(s) violate any city ordinances.

See also, “More Phil Dunphy-isms.”

*The TV producers digitalized the statue’s offending parts.

P.S.: Next-door dumpsters can be a turn-off, too.

But, as I like to point out:  a) they’re temporary; and b) they can indicate that the homeowner is doing a (major) remodel, which is good for adjacent home values.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230115 https://ift.tt/2XR53sj via IFTTT

[dirakisabelle]

What to Do About the Pornographic Statue* on the Neighbor’s Front Lawn

When the Neighbors are the Dealbreaker

Prospective Buyer: “We love the house.  But we could never live across the street from that pornographic statue.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . huh . . . I never noticed it.” Prospective Buyer: “Yeah . . . you can see it from inside when you look out the window.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . ahh . . umm . . are you talking about that one?” (points). Prospective Buyer:  “It’s quite large.” Phil Dunphy: “I’ll take your word for it.”

–-Modern Family; “Marble With Wood” episode.

Unlike TV Realtor Phil Dunphy, I’ve never had a listing torpedoed by an obscene statue on the neighbor’s front lawn (this is Minnesota, after all).

But, I’ve had sales where the neighbor’s snowmobile(s)/kayak/under-repair-motorcycle was an issue.

Sugar vs. Vinegar

Step #1 is always a friendly, “We’d really appreciate it if you could relocate your [ _____ ] while our house is on the market.”

If the “For Sale” homeowner doesn’t feel comfortable making that request, it’s certainly appropriate for their agent to (note:  a six-pack of beer and/or a helping hand can help grease the skids).

If that doesn’t work — depending on exactly how odious the item is — step #2 is in order.

Namely, contacting the local municipality to see if the offending item(s) violate any city ordinances.

See also, “More Phil Dunphy-isms.”

*The TV producers digitalized the statue’s offending parts.

P.S.: Next-door dumpsters can be a turn-off, too.

But, as I like to point out:  a) they’re temporary; and b) they can indicate that the homeowner is doing a (major) remodel, which is good for adjacent home values.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230535 https://ift.tt/2XR53sj via IFTTT

[llorrainehoffman]

What to Do About the Pornographic Statue* on the Neighbor’s Front Lawn

When the Neighbors are the Dealbreaker

Prospective Buyer: “We love the house.  But we could never live across the street from that pornographic statue.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . huh . . . I never noticed it.” Prospective Buyer: “Yeah . . . you can see it from inside when you look out the window.” Phil Dunphy: “Oh . . . ahh . . umm . . are you talking about that one?” (points). Prospective Buyer:  “It’s quite large.” Phil Dunphy: “I’ll take your word for it.”

–-Modern Family; “Marble With Wood” episode.

Unlike TV Realtor Phil Dunphy, I’ve never had a listing torpedoed by an obscene statue on the neighbor’s front lawn (this is Minnesota, after all).

But, I’ve had sales where the neighbor’s snowmobile(s)/kayak/under-repair-motorcycle was an issue.

Sugar vs. Vinegar

Step #1 is always a friendly, “We’d really appreciate it if you could relocate your [ _____ ] while our house is on the market.”

If the “For Sale” homeowner doesn’t feel comfortable making that request, it’s certainly appropriate for their agent to (note:  a six-pack of beer and/or a helping hand can help grease the skids).

If that doesn’t work — depending on exactly how odious the item is — step #2 is in order.

Namely, contacting the local municipality to see if the offending item(s) violate any city ordinances.

See also, “More Phil Dunphy-isms.”

*The TV producers digitalized the statue’s offending parts.

P.S.: Next-door dumpsters can be a turn-off, too.

But, as I like to point out:  a) they’re temporary; and b) they can indicate that the homeowner is doing a (major) remodel, which is good for adjacent home values.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230558 https://ift.tt/2XR53sj via IFTTT

[dirakisabelle]

What to Do About the Pornographic Statue* on the Neighbor’s Front Lawn

When the Neighbors are the Dealbreaker

Prospective Buyer:  “We love the house.  But we could never live across the street from that pornographic statue.” Phil Dunphy:  “Oh . . . huh . . . I never noticed it.” Prospective Buyer:  “Yeah . . . you can see it from inside when you look out the window.” Phil Dunphy:  “Oh . . . ahh . . umm . . are you talking about that one?” (points). Prospective Buyer:  “It’s quite large.” Phil Dunphy:  “I’ll take your word for it.”

–Modern Family; “Marble With Wood” episode.

Unlike TV Realtor Phil Dunphy, I’ve never had a listing torpedoed by an obscene statue on the neighbor’s front lawn (this is Minnesota, after all).

But, I’ve had sales where the neighbor’s snowmobile(s)/kayak/under-repair-motorcycle was an issue.

Sugar vs. Vinegar

Step #1 is always a friendly, “We’d really appreciate it if you could relocate your [ _____ ] while our house is on the market.”

If the “For Sale” homeowner doesn’t feel comfortable making that request, it’s certainly appropriate for their agent to (note:  a six-pack of beer and/or a helping hand can help grease the skids).

If that doesn’t work — depending on exactly how odious the item is — step #2 is in order.

Namely, contacting the local municipality to see if the offending item(s) violate any city ordinances.

See also, “More Phil Dunphy-isms.”

*The TV producers digitalized the statue’s offending parts.

P.S.:  Next-door dumpsters can be a turn-off, too.

But, as I like to point out:  a) they’re temporary; and b) they can indicate that the homeowner is doing a (major) remodel, which is good for adjacent home values.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230535 http://bit.ly/2VYKVUA via IFTTT