#phew ok. that was good closure I think
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lol ok well I wasn’t sure what I was going to say in the exit interview meeting even as I was signing onto the call but I ended up being quite blunt. I didn’t call out my lead specifically but I was just like: the job I ended up doing wasn’t the job I was hired to do. my efforts to take on work aligned with the job I was hired to do were either directly thwarted or back-burnered for 6+ months even when I had white space on my calendar. there was significant lack of clarity around roles and scope of responsibilities within our team and that meant I was often sitting around waiting for small tasks to be delegated to me piecemeal by my lead (I didn’t throw her under the bus directly lol I was very much like ohhh idk just something about the way we delegate work was confusing!). I felt most fulfilled/productive the one time I was entrusted with a substantive project where I had a lot of agency to make decisions and implement my own approach… but most of the time I was just waiting around each day or each week for the next small disconnected task to be doled out.
anyway he was very receptive to all of this and actually expressed similar frustrations with the way our team seemed to keep getting pulled into these random projects that had virtually nothing to do with learning or development. I offered some ideas on how to set the next person up for success… and was pretty directly like instead of having a lead and a direct report who only handles things delegated by that lead I think this role might work better if the two people on the team had their own clearly defined domains of responsibility and were able to freely pursue their own projects without stuff getting bottlenecked due to chain of command issues. so like who knows 🤷♀️ but I hope I can leave things a little better for the next person.
#I feel like I also am learning a lesson about addressing stuff early on#like I think I was just too new to the non-university workforce and just like#very unclear on the actual chain of command or who I could talk to if things were going badly#and I probably could’ve had this conversation with him four months ago after that blowout with my lead#but oh well I didn’t want to stay anyway#and I can take this knowledge with me into the next role#phew ok. that was good closure I think
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unit 4402, not to be needy in your inbox, but i haven't stopped thinking about the pliskin fic ever since i read it. it's so good. the emotional intimacy. the little snippets of their friendship before they actually meet. the stupid clumsy confession scene(s?). it's SO well-crafted, you should be a licensed writer.
alas i need pliskin!reader and ike to meet again and be horny because i think it'd be funny and endearing. they have all this emotional closeness but when it comes to actually being together irl they're suddenly shy and overwhelmed at the prospect so they act like teenagers again. i don't even need to think about the actual nsfw parts, i just love imagining them navigate this new romantic territory and being in love and making mistakes and laughing about it and being so sweet i get cavities 😔 i love them, they should be together forever i think
- anon 🦝 if i'm allowed a sign off qvq
[non-explicit nsfw under the cut]
oh 🦝 you're always allowed to sign off, i don't mind! thank you for the lovely complim—
HORNY???
🦝. you are so brave for speaking the truth.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
it’s like this ok. they’re both such sweet people and genuinely want the best for each other, all this time has let them understand how they see one another and how to communicate, especially since they’re miles away from one another. every now and then the stars align and they get roped along into an off-collab with some of their other friends, and find excuses to sneak out by themselves just to spend time with each other and catch up on all the little touches they missed.
hands bumping together here, an arm around the waist there. resting on one another and taking in the scent as you wrap your arms along him. you spend a wintry week in london with half of the luxiem boys and a few other livers that want to visit, but you don’t miss how ike’s fingers brush against your neck as he places his scarf around you. the touch is brief but you have to grit your teeth as he ties the scarf, and the remains of his touch burns like coal under the fabric, unsatiated. you can’t keep your eyes off him but your hands want to explore, make him feel good.
eventually you both make time to meet up for a few days, just the two of you, discreet enough that only a few of your close friends know that you’re housing a guest at your place and your fanbases are unaware. it’s not like it was the whole point of the visit, to be clear! horny thoughts be damned, you really did want to see him again. being able to show him around your town and do the cheesy couple things—holding hands, cute dates, sharing clothes, the whole nine yards—it feels like a dream.
on that first night you agree he'll share the bed with you, and when he makes sure you're comfortable with it, he pulls his shirt up over his head and falls asleep half-naked under the covers. you wake up the next morning with a view of nothing but his chest, which pairs nicely (read: awkwardly) with the dirty dream you woke up in the middle of before you could get full closure.
you bring it up to him that very day. it starts off simple:
"do you ever want to have sex? yeah, i'm ready for it. yeah, i understand. that's what you want? i can do that.”
and it's just so easy deciding it then and there. and then he asks questions, and you're glad to receive them, and that makes you ask him about his preferences, too, and the conversation gets more intimate from there and halfway through it hits you that it's really happening and that, god, you're ready but you're not prepared at all for how bashful you're getting and he's getting bashful too and it's good information that should be out in the open and you're glad it is especially because it's important to know what is and isn't okay and he needs to know too but—phew. the conversation ends when everything's been said but your flustered face is in your hands and ike's been wiping a cleaning cloth at his glasses for the last ten minutes so he doesn't have to make eye contact.
but, well, you're both on the same page now! and the feeling is mutual.
and he's on top of you now. his glasses rest on the nightstand, and without them, his eyes are so, so clear, and bright, even as the red around his cheeks threatens to burn brighter.
"this is okay?" ike asks. one of his hands holds you down by your wrist but you can feel him tremble. he lets go to wipe his hands on the sheets. "sorry, my hands are sweaty. it's just that i've been looking forward to this for so long."
he giggles a little at his own awkwardness, and it spreads to you, too. he sounds so soft and cute. you sound like a weirdo. "oh, me too, you have no idea."
his eyes flit down. "can i take off your...?"
"yeah, you can s-strip me. if you want..."
bad choice of words. or good? you can't tell, just that it's making your heart lurch as he undoes the button. an inch of your underwear peeks out.
"oh, so you're wearing this color? it's really you," he says. it's so matter-of-fact and unsexy that you can't help but laugh. “wait, no, i mean, it’s good! i like it! they suit you—oh, forget it, i give up.”
you stay giggly while he undresses you down to the skin. you meet his lips and kiss him, soft and smiley as he shakes off the embarrassment. "never change. love you."
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
ah i got carried away but what if one or both of them are virgins...
they get to explore everything for the first time and with it comes all the anticipation and surprise and pleasure of feeling it all for the first time... you know. how wet it is and where things go. how the actual action is done so soon but how long you can savor the foreplay.
and all the silliness that comes with it! it's trying something new together. every touch runs electric and it's so hard not to beam at how it feels. bonus points if they're ticklish and laugh while fucking, turning the little shivers and thrusts even more intense, all smiles and loose laughter while you enter for the first time
✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi
#ike eveland x reader#ike eveland#ike eveland fluff#ike eveland smut#nijisanji en#luxiem#luxiem x reader#nijisanji x reader#4402 answers#4402 brainrot#pliskinverse#4402 writes#🦝 anon#nice comments
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* ◟ ― 🍓cl - clang !! hello , it’s so nice to meet you all - my name is jada , but you can just call me 𝐎𝐇 𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐈𝐋’s mun !! i’m super excited to be here , and hopefully you guys take to me and phoenix’s leader , haeil ! he has a semi - sad vibe , but don’t be fooled, he’s a pretty cool guy ! below you’ll find trivia as well as general connections while i work on te real plots page ! and as always, please like if you’d like to plot alongside me and my boy !! lets go !
𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄 . // 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃. // 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓. //
𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃.
i’m going to lightly touch on his backstory here but his bio is already loaded w stuff haha so !! i won’t bore you with too many details !!
came from a family w / high expectations of him, to always be the responsible big brother ... and he did ! always was good at school stuff, took care of stuff at home when needed, etc !
but deep down he was ( and is ) not happy w how he felt his own happiness was always sacrificed for others, despite not wanting to admit it & sounding selfish ? but anyways, it got him acting up, and he had a whooole little rebellious streak that was completely out his character !
though he realllyyy enjoyed the rush, his little adventure ended quick when his parents noticed him skipping class & all that ! so his first year of hs they made him join a school club to find better friends, and that’s where he found dance !
there he learned dance and well ... the rest is history !! loved every minute of it, but got a really bad injury that had him out of dances for a while, and it crushed him, but he came back with a newfound true appreciation for it !
time skip, his friends encouraged him to audition when word came around about yuseong auditions and ... voila ! here we are !!
𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.
ok so you’ll have to excuse me as haeil is one of those this . . . and also that characters HAHA, so he’s got opposing personality traits even within himself ! he even is confused by it hee heeeee
also sidenote his younger sister is @wsharin !! they’re definitely giving opposites yet crazy type, have quite different personalities, but grwing up in similar environments w each other has kept them very close ! kinda thinks he’s fake youngest out of them, yet fiercely protective of her !
but ! his natural instinct is actually to be pretty wild, outgoing, have fun. he’s the happiest when he can do that, and those closest to him probably know him to be quite the joker when he lets loose.
buuut for years now he’s been conditioned into the responsible leader-type he is now, though it def is his more manufactured side. but nowadays it’s what he reverts to, because he sort of just thinks there’s not enough room in everyone’s life for him to be so chaotic ??
haeil tries his hardest to blend in the background, as he feels it’s what a good leader does and he wants to give the rest of his team the shine. because he hasn’t been dancing as long as most others around him, and had a relatively short training time, he’s still v doubtful of his own worthiness of being in the position he is, therefore he sort of feels like ... he doesn’t deserve attention ?? ( and while this is true to an extent, haeil also needs to work through this constant pessimism within himself and learn to take pride in his achievements !! )
so a lot of times what you’ll see is a man trying to be a leader, with the inner child ( ! ) in him poking through. though he encourages participation from his other members rather than himself, his fans are known for pointing out all the moments he gets jumpy / excited / hyper, and he’s kinda developed this “tsundere” vibe because of it ? it’s not exactly correct but he’ll take it heehee
as a leader, esp on variety, you’ll see him doing little things to make the quieter / less talked to members heard this whole compilation ?? literally him.
if you’re close to him though, you’ll really see he’s not nearly as serious as he seems. he’s extreeemely caring, almost to a fault, w those close to him ? and will take care of literally anything they need. got rent due tomm ? send him your payment info and he’ll send over all he has in his account. but on top of that, he just loves to have fun, and if in an environment that allows, v spontaneous !
def mom friend vibes. doesn't like coffee but loves his morning tea, sweaters, tries to establish a bed time for phoenix, always managing to have remembered that one thing someone else forgot, packing snacks, all the good stuff !
but !! the entertainer in haeil is compleetely different, and largely why he got famous ! a charismatic dancer for sure, enjoys a lot of hip hop as it’s what he’s had most practice in, and whenever he dances he truly has fun !!
he was so deep in his own insecurities, and it showed in his dancing, untilll cherry bomb. phew cherry bomb haeil was ... a whole era, and what a lot of people attribute to being his vibe switch that made him 1000x more confident !
despite what many think he loooves aggresive rap. rock & r&b are right up there too. loves music that reminds him he can feel things !!
poor thing ... cannot handle his alcohol. legit tries to avoid drinking altogether bc like one drink and he’s already trying to crawl onto tables. actually loves going out for drinks but avoids it like the plague bc he thinks it ruins his pride lolll
while he claims he's too busy for love - and he genuinely is kinda - he is a hopeless romantic deep down. his mind always drifts to him & his future partner living all suburban w kids who match clothes and having a family dog, all the fixings ... he just wants a cute dad vibe and gets depressed when he thinks of how being an idol is kinda preventing that from coming anytime soon
this is getting SO LONG WHAT lets move on !!
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.
someone who didn’t actually make it / hasn’t yet debuted in the industry, but who haeil reallly looks up to as a mentor ? whether a rapper / singer or just someone he admires, haeil gets depressed every time he remembers the person who got him where he is hasn't even got their shot of fame yet, and who he feels he owes quite everything to. though he’s got the whole leader thing going on, this person makes him act like a whole little sibling.
english tutor !! he genuinely wants to be so much better than he is, and doubts his skills as a good leader bc of it and would loove someone to help him !! also def down to learn from someone who speaks japanese, since he’s learning that as well ! he just wants to connect w more fans D:
someone who lets him lets loossee !! need i say more ?? haeil needs to have some fun and be himself before he pops a brain vessel, and that seems like it’s becoming more and more of a possibility oijdoidjodjod. alcohol may or may not be included iin the equation but if so prepare for chaos personified !
an ex perhaps ?? he’s bisexual so this could go either way, but someone he was w in high school and for whatever reason, it didn’t work out ?? we could give them awkward or tension w angst where they never got closure, or two people who just worked better as friends and maintained a great connection !
someone who he’s truly just ... whipped over ? something about their energy has him wanting to see them more and more and quite honestly, p out of character. openly a simp and just wilding whenever this person’s in the room hours .. let’s go !!
best friends. but i mean like .... beeest friends. they don't have to necessarily go back, not all best friends do, but what matters is them now ! friends who have an incredibly special connection, the type to just .. basically be talking in their own language of inside jokes and such.
for those who might not be from korea / have the closest relationship w their own family, haeil’s got you ! if your muse has always wanted someone who cooks for them, gives advice, or just listens and provides a shoulder to cry on, mr.haeil is the man for you !!
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Keep Moving Part 1
tw: depicton of explosions, broken bones, head trauma, vomiting, collapsed building, being trapped.
Keith is on his self sacrificing bullshit again and no one is surprised. The only difference is this time be can’t extricate himself from the terrible situation he very much asked for before it goes horribly wrong. And it just continues to get worse. **also a part 2 has been written but not finished and I may cut it down so there is at least some closure... might also just finish it but willa makes no promises**
“We’ve cleared the red zone, Matt!” Pidge reported breathlessly into her coms on direct line to her brother and the other rebel space crafts that joined them on their mission.
“Copy that,” she said, slowing her sprint to a jog, “they’re waiting until we make some more ground to start dropping their explosives.”
“I don’t know how soon we’ll be on the move, we’ve got two fleets of sentries headed our way,” Keith reminded.
“We’ll just have to make as much distance between ourselves and the death zone as possible before everything goes boom, unless Keith is afraid he can’t keep up with us...”
Keith just stared at Lance blankly, struggling to accept that he did in fact just say what he thought he said.
“Obviously, but the issue is--”
Lance never got to know what the actual issue was because before Pidge could tell him, he was face down on the floor, butt in the air still smoldering from where he was shot by a sentry.
The first fleet had caught up to them.
“Bullseye...” Hunk said nearly crying from holding in his laughter.
“Shit!” Keith watched as the fleet descended on them quickly and started shooting at what seemed like a never ending stream of purple and metal.
“owWWWW-”
“Lance, shut up and start shooting.” Keith ordered, hauling the taller boy up by his neck guard.
There was little cover in the hallway and so the paladins had to quickly manuver between blocking the sentries’ barrage with their shields and engaging their bayards to take a few out at a time. Lance had recovered from his owie and was now dropping sentries from behind the cover of Hunk’s legs.
“We need to keep moving!” Pidge urged, taking a couple steps back.
“You guys keep going, I’ll use my sword to push them back,” Keith offered.
“No! We don’t need to split up, just keep moving back I have an idea.”
They all walked backwards slowly still firing shots and deflecting hits while Pidge activated her bayard and then before they knew it she had it wrapped around the upper portion of the nearest sentry and was swinging it accross the width of the hallway, clobbering several of them into each other and successfully congesting their procession.
“Damn Pidge...”
“Keep it moving Paladins!” Allura echoed over the coms.
“Ya know, sometimes I’m terrified of you Pidge,” Lance mused as the four of them took off in a dead sprint down the narrow corridor.
“Don’t know... if I should be flattered... or offended...” she huffed, struggling to keep up with the other three.
“It’s a compliment!”
“Yeah, well who wouldn’t be scared of five feet of pure--”
“Careful... Hunk.”
“... intelligence?”
Keith laughed to himself at his teammate’s menial banter. It lightened the tense atmosphere of battle and action of which he was mostly really greatful for, except when they needed to be serious and Lance was still posing hypotheticals about conceiving with a space mermaid.
But it was his lack of partcipation in the conversation that alerted him to the pounding of metal on metal somewhere around them of which was very odd. They had just lost the last fleet and were supposed to be nowhere near the second, but when he slowed down to asses as the others passed by the opening of another corridor, a shot from a sentry’s gun nearly took Pidge’s helmet off. And then before anyone could even react, the hallway they were in flooded with sentries, affectively seperating Keith from the rest of his team.
The paladins got to work quickly, but they were soon overwhelmed.
And then Keith heard the fleet from before gaining ground behind them and decided that since he was already seperated, he might as well take some of the attention off of his team while he was at it. And so he ran back to the last possible turn he could take between him and the first horde, diverting their focus onto him with a significant section of the new fleet of sentries following suit as well.
“Yeah, so you’re gonna have to find another way out for me when you get a chance Pidge.”
“What? Why?...” and then to his friend’s horror they realize that he is simply just gone and so were half of their assailants.
“May have gotten cut off by that fleet when they dropped in on us, but it’s okay! I can handle them, only issue is they’re pushing me back towards the rebel destroyers, ya know where we just narrowly escaped from... so if you have any suggestions on how to get me out of here before I get blown up... I’d greatly appreciate them,” Keith stated almost amusedly and his team could hear the zip and crack of sentries being taken out by his bayard.
“Ok, ok, ok—Lance I need cover, Hunk I need help, can you configure...” the rest of Pidge’s orders were drowned out by the whining of metal above him and then her voice was frantic over the coms, interrupting it all to tell Keith that a massive bomb had just been dropped directly over him and that he had about five minutes before the structure gave.
Well, shit.
He picks up his pace and focuses on just evading shots from the fleet when he hears a particularly loud groan from above.
“That doesn’t sound good,” he huffs and looks back to see that as the sentries round the corner, he has put enough of a distance between them that they lower their weapons temporarily because they’re not close enough to lock onto a target.
There’s another groan from above as debris begins to make its way through the metal interrior at the farthest end of the corridor where the sentries are filing in. Perfect. He realizes that he still has a long way to go and can’t navigate via Pidge if he has to worry about being lasered in the ass by a horde of metal minions, so Keith ducks into a doorway and starts firing at the mass.
Over the coms Pidge continues to update him on just how badly he needs to not be in that hallway. The entire ceiling is caving but Keith hasn’t moved, he refuses to. Pidge watches his heat signature and the flashing red light on her scanner letting her know the integrity of the building is waning.
“I have an entire fleet on my tail, gotta at least make a dent!”
“Just another day of Keith on his self-sacrifice bull shit!”
Keith did not appreciate Lance’s tone. His plan was sort of solid. The sentries just need to keep marching and not switch into ‘chase mode’ a little longer and then the ceiling will finally give and smush them. Solid.
“Lance on ur left!”
Zap. Crash.
Karma.
“Thanks.”
“Pidge, I’ve entered the intelligence room.”
“It should be the main panel, shiro”
“Got it, getting started now”
“Pidge get down!”
Keith listened to his team struggling against their own fleet as large pieces of debris came down all around him. He didn’t need Pidge’s fancy scanner to tell him the ceiling was about to go.
He took one last look. The sentries were close enough now to start shooting. He breathed deeply. Just a couple more seconds. And then there was a massive crunch from above and he took off running in a zig zag, the ceiling breaking apart in large pieces behind him and taking out clusters of sentries at a time
Beautiful.
Glancing over his shoulder as he ran he watched the last sentries disappear in a plume of dust and smoke, turning around only to narrowly avoid a falling spire of shredded metal by toppling over the chunk of ceiling that had crashed down already in an effort to not get impaled.
There’s a loud crack after his foot is stopped against the base of the debris and his body twists away awkwardly, victim to the mercy of his own bodies’ momentum he falls to the floor in a sprawled heap.
Keith didn’t recall screaming.
The coms were soon alight with a flurry of concerned questions and orders for him to declare his status, but he couldn’t make any sense of what they were saying over the white hot pain in his leg.
All Keith could muster the strength to focus on in that moment were the beams flying over his head. How the fuck--? But before his mind could even attempt to make sense of how any sentries emerged from that, he pulls himself closer to the ceiling chunk he just ate shit on and ducks down to use it as cover before he started returning shots.
Just a hanful left.
Aim. Evade. Drop.
Aim. That was close. Drop
Duck. What the hell? Drop
“Keith if you can hear me, the building is severely compromised, the ceiling is coming down, you need to MOVE.”
He waves his bayard in a spray and lunges forward off of his good leg to scramble behind more debris.
As he lowers himself down behind another chunk of ceiling, he’s stunned when the visor of his helmet is struck by a sentry’s beam, shattering in his face before flying off.
Woah.
He can’t hear over the piercing ringing in his ears for several seconds after the initial hit and after a minute he becomes aware of the blood dripping down his neck slowly from where the shattered glass of his visor nicked him.
When the ringing dies down he can faintly hear his teammates screaming his name over the coms, the world tilting before him in more ways then one as the section of the ceiling he was just under comes down on the remaining sentries.
Phew. He lets out a huge breath he didn’t know he was holding.
With some effort, he reaches out for his helmet but is instantly nauseated by the exertion as well as the noise coming from it before it’s even on his head, he lowers the coms volume so he could actually comprehend his teammates concerned questions against the sounds of their own battle.
“I repeat: Keith, sound off!”
“If his vitals are strong... then why the fuck aren’t you responding mullet!?”
“I’m good,” he breathed heavily. “Took care of the fleet, but i think my ankle is really stuffed up.”
He slid his hands under his knee and raised his leg to test what mobility he had in his ankle and couldn’t suppress the light yelp that just the movement produced when his foot dangled limply in the air. Keith’s ankle was definitely broken and not some cutesy hairline shit.
“Okay! Working on it! Don’t try and move for now, you’re suit and boot should support it and keep it in place. Tapping into your suit now... authorizing the boo boo protocol... loading... sweet! Okay pulling up the scans, you should hear a beep.”
Keith could hear Pidge feverishly tappin on a screen as well as heavy metal footsteps and thuds.
“Uhh, so minor emergency,” Lance postured just as Keith heard an electronic beep. “There’s only about a dozen sentries left but their closing in fast, we could use that back up right about now Shiro.”
Lance cried out as a beam caught his elbow while using a slumped sentry as a shield as he picked off the front of the wave.
“Nah, I’ve got it Shiro!” Hunk called.
“Pidge is all set... breaking out the big guns now, everyone focus on their original tasks!”
“Got it, I’m almost done here,” Shiro replied.
“Sound off when you’re free and I’ll load up directions to Keiths location—shit, Keith your ankle is like mangled do not under ANY circumstance put weight on that!"
"Uhhhhm, and get crushed to death instead?" Keith said already pulling himself up to lean against the wall with a groan.
“No thanks.”
"~Minimal weight~ then,” Pidge compromised, “or whatever you can withstand, but that’ll be a couple extra hours in a pod.”
“A couple extra hours of beauty rest might be good for those dark circles on mullet.”
“Lance has a solid a point there.”
“Damn, you know mullets hurting when he’s agreeing with me.”
“I’d just also rather live to see another day.”
“Whatever, just get to the end of the hallway. There’s a supporting beam over there that should hold up until we get to you in case things go south.”
“Noted, making my way now.”
The ceiling above him gave another groan and so did he as more metal and ruble crashed down behind him, but he only focused on moving forward, pushing away his mounting concern for how strangely numb his foot was while his ankle was pulsing with an excruciating ache that shoot up his leg. Every hop nearly made him cry out and tempted the black dots threatening to fully cloud his vision.
“How’s it going shiro?” he gruffed while he took a break, he needed some good news.
“96% complete! Should be done any second now and then I’ll make my way over to you.”
“Okay,” he breathed meekly and bit back the bile creeping up his throat as another wave of nausea washed over him.
His head was pounding something awful now, the helmet took the brunt of the hit but his head was still sufficiently rattled. His ears were still ringing, though it seemed to mostly come from his left side.
“Done. Pidge send me his location.”
“5 sentries left. We’ll be on our way to him soon too.”
It was getting harder to stay engaged with all of the different pains he was in. His whole body just wanted to rest, his ankle throbbed angrily, and his eyelids grew heavier and harder to keep open as the pain in his head drew to a piercing concentration above his left ear, right where he took the hit.
“Hey, Keith?”
It was pidge. Everything was really loud suddenly and the thought of his own voice in his ears seemed like it would increase the pressure in his skull tenfold so he managed a groan in response.
“Did you ever take a hit to the head?”
He took a shuddering breath as he stopped again and leaned heavily against the trembling wall. Or maybe he was trembling. He couldn’t tell which it was.
“Yeah... why?” he managed to half whisper, his head felt like it was going to explode.
“Crap, okay.”
“Pidge?” it was shiro. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing bad, I can just see where he’s bleeding from on my scanner. It’s superficial but he’s bleeding pretty well from his forehead.”
“Yeah, my visor is slightly shattered,” Keith gulped.
“Hey, what’s a lil scratch when it could’ve been you’re whole face?”
“Yes it could’ve, Lance. Glad to see you care about Keith’s face. But sadly I can’t tell if you have a concussion from these scans, so just don’t fall asleep until we get to you.”
“I think I can manage.”
“You sure? Vitals say your heart beat is slow. Seriously, just don’t fall asleep.”
“Ok, yeah, got it.” Keith agreed and with a hmph he dragged himself upright and began hopping along the wall once more.
Whether it was his hearing being testy or the haze of pain distracting him from reality, he didn’t hear the loud groans of the metal shifting above him, threatening to fully give any moment now.
His progress was so painfully slow it had been well over 5 minutes and he had still not reached the end of the hallway that pidge recommended.
“Keith you’re haven’t reached the support beam yet, you’ve got to pick it up.”
He didn’t respond. He was trying. But aside from his ankle being in excruciating pain, his head was as well. The nausea had only gotten worse and his vision was getting iffy too, he saw double if he picked his head up too fast and had to turn the volume of the coms all the way down now because he thought his ears would start bleeding between Lance’s shrill exclammations of victory and Pidge’s directions.
Keith had to take a lot of breaks. Everything was so loud and his stomach was so unruly, the effort to even stand upright was becoming too much let alone making the last few feet of progress.
And then the wall that was keeping him up seemed to come away from him, that or he had keeled over on his own, either way he was now on the ground and could feel as another bomb landed on the structure above him and shook everything with a terrible rumble.
In a climax of pain and exhaustion as well as the violent rumbling of the building collapsing around him, it was all too much. The wrenching in his stomach made his eyes water and his mouth was filled instantly with saliva. He shrugged what was left of his visor up to spit it out only for his stomach to clench and his body to be rocked by his heaving.
His head swam.
He felt so heavy.
But he desperately wanted to get away from his puddle of sick, so he sort of crawled away from it, careful to keep his hurt ankle up.
“-eith. keith!”
“Shhh, don’t need to scream.”
“Sorry!”
“You scared us!”
“Almost made me puke, you know I have a sensitive stomach!”
“Sorry,” he muttered hoarsely, “couldn’t really help it.”
“We know, Hunk’s just messing with you. So you most likely have a concussion if you’re vomiting, but don’t be scared, Shiro’s almost at your location and—“
But he didn’t get to hear what other wisdom Pidge had to reassure him with because another bomb had just exploded above him...
#whump#voltorn#voltron whump#voltron keith#voltron fandom#voltron fanfic#voltron legendary defender#collapsed building#broken bone#trapped#explosion#keith#keith whump#galra keith#lance and keith#keith kogane#whump scenario#voltron fic#whumptober2020#happy whumptober#whump blog
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Doctor Sleep Director’s Cut Spoilers + Thoughts
🚨SPOILER ALERT you have been warned 🚨
ch 1
- More thematic stuff in convos between Dan/Dick ! The “shining like fire” quote a great foreshadow to how it ends
- More bar scene and more signs of dan struggling
- Deenie on food stamps detail
- A little more violet
- More young Abra!!! Aaah the chills I got from the piano
- Wendy repaid her debt??? much to think about
- LUCY/DAVE STONE BEING CUTE
- The TRANSITIONS!! Like the bathmat fitting the docks, the piano to Casablanca piano, chefs kiss!
- Chapters separating it nicely
ch 2
- rose *sips tea* We’re the true knot OKAY HOT
- deenie’s baby looked even creepier
- Dan and Billy uwu uwu 🥺🥺
- more rose in orange dress talking to andi and then holding her hand but the part of andi hugging grampa flick was so weird hdjdjs
- more Lucy yay
ch 3
- empty overlook and glass of whiskey very nice cinematography cause i love those hallway shots
- the fact that Dan can channel his powers with his hand
- kyliegh’s screaming during the baseball scene was top notch
- not THAT much more baseball boy scene as i expected just a little more moments between all 3 povs
- i really love that abra’s had lights in her room since she was young. Shine On indeed
- COW SCENE OH MY GOD ... Rebeccas acting god i wish this was kept.. “I WANT HER I FUCKING WANT HER” God SHE! Rose and Crow ! i need a moment
ch 4
- [Wendy] not being able to look Danny in the eyes paralleling him and her when she dies but it was taken out so theres no parallel in the final cut aah
- “Don’t shine” a very obvious parallel with the end
- ok this is lowkey scary why did alex essoe look like shelly duvall so much in this scene its the hair.. but lots more building on young danny/wendy’s relationship
- Crow interrupting Rose uwu
- EARTHQUAKE SCENE my fav scene out of the new material mayhaps??
- “good catch” they exchange glances
- rose looks so good here im so thankful for more crow/rose
- AND YOU ARE THE QUEEN BITCH OF ALL TIME
- rose playing with his hair 🥺🥺🥺
- FOREHWAD KISS FOREHEA DKISS
- i knew there’d be more to rose/crow’s last scene i hoped they’d maybe hug at the end like in the book but their tension is more subtle as it has been for the whole film so of course there’s hand touching
- crow offering to let andi stay with rose hhjdjs??? why is this like a fanfic
- Billy calling him Danno 🥰🥰🥰
Ch 5
- Just noticed David is gone from the shot when Abra tells Dan to wake up so Crow’s probably there already
- WAIT NVM DAVID WITH A KNIFE VS CROW HOOO BOY
- CROW CALLING HIMSELF A GOD.. that energy he and rose have phew power couple
- Compliment the chef dklfjsdlk I’m screaming Crow Daddy p lease also I’m really glad we didn’t have to actually see him kill David
ch 6
- The Overlook theme slaps so hard every time
- THE RED BATHROOM AAAAAH i saw from bts pics they built this set so i guessed there’d be a scene here but this was one of my fav scenes from the shining so !!!
- my opinion on the ending has changed soo much since my first watch omg especially now that we know wendy couldnt look dan in the face either (not just the other way around) THE ENDING HITS DIFFERENT!! they look each other in the face and have closure that’s beautiful man 😭😭
- I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO FUCKING MUCH!
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What Your Astrological Sign Says About What Kind of Ex-Girlfriend You Are
Sure, you know what kind of girlfriend you are based on your zodiac sign, but what kind of ex are you? Read on to find out what the stars have to say about your breakup style. Aquarius: The Ex Who Doesn't Look Back: Honestly, PHEW, you're glad things are over now, because you were starting to feel a little cramped. You're super independent, Aquarius, and you need to feel like you have space to be who you want to be, or else you get antsy. You tend to not get bent out of shape after a breakup. After all, your witty conversational skills and charisma make everyone you meet feel super important, which makes it super easy for people to fall for you, HARD. But if someone bores you or can't keep up that signature Aquarius banter, you're out. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Finally booking that trip you've always wanted to talk about. You finally have all this time! What did you even do when you were dating someone? How did you even LIVE? Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You're out and about they walk by. They're super awkward about the whole thing, which you don't really understand, until you realize you were on a date with someone much hotter than your ex. Pisces: The Nice Ex: Selfless Pisces! You work too hard and are far too nice and trusting to everyone. Your friends are stoked for your break up. They're sick of watching your current boo treat you like any less than the queen that you are, and can't WAIT for you to find someone better. You're hella compassionate and kind, so you try to keep things as amicable as possible with your exes. But your sensitive side means that you also feel breakups pretty intensely. Maybe you didn't even love them! But the second you break up, you're left wondering Was this person my soulmate? Will I spend the rest of my LIFE ON THIS PLANET pining for them? Luckily the answer is no. Your kind, compassionate nature is like friggin' catnip for All the Hot Singles In Your Area and you are able to find new boos to take your mind off of things pretty easily. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Starting a poetry blog that goes viral. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: They start following your work and accidentally like something on your Instagram from a very chill 38 weeks ago. Aries: The Ex That Got Away: All your exes miss you immediately. Once you're no longer together, they realize just how much they missed that signature Aries wild-streak of spontaneity and confidence. Too bad that's not your problem anymore! It's not like you're sad that you guys broke up because you really miss them — it's more like you're a little insulted they didn't wanna hang around your greatness anymore? Whatever though, you're not bothered you tell yourself while toggling between the 17 OkCupid tabs you have open and swiping with abandon on Tinder. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Gong on a blind date within 24 hours of your breakup. Hey, why wait? Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: They "accidentally" (read: on purpose) run into you by school/work/that bar you always go to with your friends. It doesn't work and you see right through it though, so lmao. Taurus: The Chill Ex: You approach everything super logically, so once you figure out that you guys weren't going to spend the rest of your lives together, you no longer care. Your reliable and stable nature means you often stay friends with exes after the fact. While you may think nothing of it (practically speaking, you'd never date the same person twice. On-and-off-again relationships just don't make sense to you, time-wise), just know that every time you hang out as friends, they're running through your entire relationship in their head, wondering if you'll ever give them a second chance. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Shopping for a new wardrobe or curating some other aspect of your life to your typical Taurusian perfection Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You see them like, every day, after you become friends again and they won't STFU about their love life in front of you Trying to Make You Feel Something, but you're chill. Gemini: The On-and-Off-Again Ex: You're super adventurous and fearless so breakups are truly NBD to you...but sometimes maybe they should be? Your indecisive nature and charisma make you a perfect storm for on-again-off-again relationships, but you already know this. You can't help it if you've got a knack for starting organic conversation with anyone, including your ex! It's always good to be chill about breakups, but you gotta remember that sometimes they're for the best, especially when you could be gracing someone new with that signature Gemini charm. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Talking it out with a v. therapeutic vent sesh with your best girlfriends. You decompress best when surrounded by lots of love and verbal affirmations that you are indeed, much better than your ex, and much funnier. (You are.) Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You set up a coffee date later down the line to "catch up" AKA suss out how they're doing post-breakup and are they in a place where you should get back together again? You'll never know unless you ask! Cancer: The Ex That Blocks You on Facebook: I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: breakups hit you pretty hard since you tend to feel emotions very viscerally. And why shouldn't they? You're one of the most loyal and supportive people around, so if someone were to test that trust or commitment, yeah, you'd be pretty hurt. "I don't even care," you choke out between sobs while writing a very harshly worded email that you will never send (you didn't even put their email address in the recipient tab), partway out of fear you'd accidentally hit send and they'd see just how much this actually bothers you, and partway because you can't even admit to yourself how hurt you are. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Going through their tagged photos on Facebook/Instagram to see when/if they're dating somebody new, and WHO IS SHE AND WHAT DOES SHE HAVE ON YOU? Your friends eventually convince you to block them. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: Never, because you go way out of your way to avoid running into them of course. Leo: The Petty Ex: You're not mad at all. You actually don't even care at a— okay, you're a little mad. Maybe not mad, just a lil' insulted that you wasted your time with someone who wasn't as perfect as you. Ok, FINE, you're also really hurt that someone didn't see you for the star that you are. And yeah, it doesn't feel good that you were probably more into them than vice versa. You can't help it though, you're just a straight shooter who doesn't play games, so why play hard to get? It sucks to put yourself out there and have that met with anything but matching enthusiasm. You might try to overcompensate with coolness and try to remain friends, but eventually you realize you were never really friends in the first place. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Trying to make a mumblecore indie short film about your experiences together a la Adam from the last season of GIRLS for some sense of closure. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You invite them to your Broadway debut 20 years down the line, but you're not salty. It's just, like a light "f*ck you" move you know? Super casual. Virgo: The Ex That Can't Let Go: You look for some Greater Meaning in everything — methodically analyzing every move trying to learn from it. You vacillate between crying your eyes out, or thanking your lucky stars the universe hath delivered you from this fuccboi. You continue to go through your old message history looking for red flags after the fact, convinced if you could only find the turning point it would bring you some closure. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Shell-shocked, rocking back and forth whispering "I just don't get it." Your friends GTFO there after two days of trying to convince you everything will be okay. You know that, but you just gotta process stuff at your own pace. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You do a very calculated Hot Girl Pivot™ where you examine and reevaluate every aspect of your life to seem Cooler, Better, Faster, Stronger and broadcast it from all your social media channels until he's the very first viewer on all your Snapchat stories. Libra: The Friendly Ex: Since you tend to be non-confrontational, things usually get *pretty* bad for a breakup to even happen, which leads to a lot of unspoken bitterness for both parties. You'll go out of your way to be diplomatic and make sure everyone knows that you hold no ill will, but really, you'll never forgive them for wasting your time. No matter though! You're charming AF and hotties start falling into your orbit almost immediately after any breakup. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: If you're *really* shook, you go to law school or something. If you're only a little shook, you make a bunch of fire Spotify breakup playlists and waddle around in your PJs pitying yourself for exactly 1/7th of the time you were together, or until a new crush comes your way. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You see them all the time, because you're "friends" and you totally "don't care" that they're now dating a carbon copy of yourself at all haha, why? Scorpio: The Stone-Cold Ex: Damn, where do I start Scorpio? For starters, all your exes are scared of you. You know that right? You're real quick to call someone out and will not hesitate to bring up receipts from like, four tax seasons ago. And good luck to them if they hurt you, because you'll dedicate all your waking hours to getting them back. If an ex is lucky enough to escape your wrath, you'll just go straight for the freeze and cut off all communication with them forever. It's like you never existed. You deal with breakups about as well as you'd think, which is very intensely. You may seem tough on the outside, and you are pretty fearless, but you also tend to beat yourself up about them, wondering if you did something to chase them off/make things fall apart. The older you get, the more you realize, it's not always somebody's fault and that sometimes people just aren't a match, and breakups get easier and easier the older you get. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Flirting with the idea of hooking up with their best friend/roommate/boss to just really drive in that power play that you "won" the breakup. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: When you start parading around the fact that you're now hooking up with someone close to them. Spoiler: it doesn't feel good for any party involved. Sagittarius: The Ex Who Will Always Secretly Hope for Something More: You're so funny and witty that it's a little too easy for you to become friends with your exes after you breakup. Of course you don't mind though. You'll give a ton of lip service about how "you're just friends" till the ends of time, but at the same time, if they ever wanted to pursue something again, you'd sign up right away. But you'll never make the first (second) move. You're stubborn enough to not want to be the one to pursue an on-again-off-again dealio, but conveniently not stubborn enough to move on completely. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Setting your ex up with a friend just to prove how "totally over it" you are. You're not, and you finally realize this when they actually hit it off and you don't know how to backpedal and say you didn't mean for this to happen. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You see them on Tinder and it hits you that they're like, actively looking to date other people, which even though you'd been broken up for months, hurts you in ways you didn't realize you could be offended by? Haha. Nice. You consider moving away or getting really into cycling classes. You wind up doing neither, but it gets easier every time. Capricorn: The Glo-Up Ex: You're honestly stoked to be single again. What a great chance to meet new people and trade up for a hotter/smarter/funnier model. Sure, your friends might think this is a little cruel when you explain your lack of grieving period, but it works. Your ex was a little dull anyways, and they were always gonna disappoint you in one way or another. They probably just couldn't handle you. Sure, it hurts a little, but ultimately you're grateful for the chance to meet somebody who really gets you. And super grateful you don't have to pretend to like the same things anymore. Most Likely to Be Doing This After a Breakup: Dating somebody who is the total opposite of your ex, just to see what it's like. Situation in Which You'd Most Likely Run into Your Ex: You run into each other at a mutual friend's party and you don't even realize it until they text you about it later. Oops! Oh well. You remain unbothered.
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Mucho Plot Twist
Every Sunday, I visit my niece in NJ and head back into the city Monday morning with my sister. Isabella understands now that we “go to work,” but when the moment arrives for us to separate, she will always cry. And that’s OK. She’s a small child, only 2 ½, experiencing separation anxiety. It’s up to the adult caretakers to teach Belle that when we are temporarily separated, she is still taken care of. Just because we are not physically present, we are still always loving her. And for children, it’s important to consistently demonstrate that we will be back. Practicing this enables Isabella to build trust in us and grasp abstract concepts such as love. She’ll come to know that what she can feel is just as real as what she can see.
Being a part of this teaching with Belle is such a poignant lesson for me, especially right now. To be honest, it’s a fundamental tenant I’ve struggled with all my life. I truly feared what would happen to me without my loved ones – father, sister, boyfriend – and like many, I dreaded being alone. But by the time I met JJ, I’d faced this demon head on and was fully aware that I was not only OK on my own, I was the happiest I’d ever been.
And I guess I just want to feel that free again. I don’t want to be as confused as a child about someone not coming back. I’ll commit to the work, but I want the path to progress to be linear, with all roads leading to a lobotomy. But as I kept charging towards my goal of erasing the memory of JJ or at least rendering it powerless over me, it became clear my expectation was unrealistic. And yet, I was still holding out hope for the weekend.
This was because on Saturday, JJ packed it up for London, finally relieving me of the pressure of having to control my impulse to see him before he left. I was exhausted and desperate for that “PHEW!” feeling. I believed with him geographically out of reach, the tension I felt in resisting my desires would be released and all would be well. I wouldn’t hold out hope any longer, be tempted to reach out or worry about awkwardly running into him. Our lives would now go careening in opposite directions and before we knew it, this would all feel like it never happened.
And I successfully convinced myself of this at first. I did feel a weight lifted and a genuine desire to let go with my best wishes for him. But by the end of the day, I felt a drop – suddenly it was all moving too fast. I wasn’t ready for closure. I reached for my phone but there had been no sign of him anywhere – no social media activity (I mean, would it kill him to post a fucking Story??) – no contact since he ended it. And while I felt this was the best thing for me - and it had been my direct request to him - it frightened me terribly. I’d been preparing for this moment, telling myself it was a good thing, but when it actually came all I could think was, “I don’t want to lose you.” Not completely, at least.
At this stage in the game, I was horrified that after proper examination, THIS was still inside me. Wanting to avoid it for the moment, I took off into my day, which luckily was jam-packed. The photographer was arriving any moment to shoot new content and I needed coffee. I ran out hurriedly, returned with hands full and breezed by my mailbox as I always do. I tend to avoid the mail at all costs. Who doesn’t?? But something compelled me to go back and grab it.
I struggled to balance all I was carrying and open the tiny box which spilled over with a week (or two)’s worth of junk (I call bills “junk” of course). I got past my door and dumped the pile onto the dining table. All the pieces fanned out and I noticed a mysterious gold envelope. The initials of the sender didn’t register, nor did I recognize the address. I turned it over to open, figuring it must be for upcoming Fashion Week and saw a London address. Definitely Fashion Week, I guessed.
But to my astonishment, inside was a letter, written on the most ornate metallic stationery, from JJ. It was dated July 25th - the day after our ending. So it had been sitting in my mailbox for over a week. I cursed myself for not checking the mail sooner. I read it over and over again in disbelief. As usual, he had blindsided me.
I had no idea what I felt or what to do. It was like holding a grenade. One letter - emboldened by some pretty wild timing - and I’m left questioning everything I’ve tried to reconcile and clear away in the past two weeks?? I wanted to resist that. I didn’t want to sacrifice a speck of my progress. But, I couldn’t deny my heart, which in its truth, was afraid of losing him.
And the timing only confused me more. It was as if the Universe had heard my shameful admission and decided to answer swiftly by dropping the most beautiful, albeit loaded, gesture right in my path. No matter what occurred between us that had hurt me, he was now the guy who wrote me a letter. It could literally say “Go fuck yourself” and it wouldn’t matter because its mere existence screams, “Is this over between us?” Its appearance says, “I heard your secret.”
And this time it wasn’t up to me to make assumptions. I wouldn’t turn to fantasy or employ trusty defense mechanisms. This letter brought JJ back to life. He was no longer an increasingly distant memory or this gravitational pull I had to resist, he was himself – honest, vulnerable, and romantic – expressing in his own words what I had been wondering. Telling me, “what you felt, I felt it too.”
#love#relationships#relationshipgoals#amwriting#lovewriting#word#wordgasm#writersofinstagram#writing#writer#writingcommunity#breakup
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