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xiaomoxu · 3 years ago

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Lucien - Mind’s Quest: Arriving With The Crowd

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

A date from CN server which hasn’t been released on EN server yet. Might contains some spoiler.

Please beware of roller-coaster emotions from this. A sweet moment yet has a deep meaning between them, is ready to serve you~

*) I put [...] on my thought about some scene.

Translations under the cut~

Part 1

??: Lucien, MC, we met again.

On the way when Lucien and I get off from work, suddenly a familiar voice came from behind us.

We spontaneously turned around and saw our neighbor, Mr. Zhang, carrying a supermarket bag and beckoning to us with a smile.

Mr. Zhang: Recently, I saw you two commuting to and from get off from work together every day. It's a really good relationship.

MC: Mr. Zhang also helps your wife buy vegetables every day.

Mr. Zhang: My wife’s legs are not good, so I will run more errands. It’s not the same as when you are young.

Mr. Zhang: I remember MC said last time that you were going on a business trip, when would you leave?

MC: I will leave tomorrow.

Mr. Zhang: Oh my, it's no wonder! Then I won't bother you, so I'll leave you two.

Lucien: Okay, I understand, please be careful Mr. Zhang.

Mr. Zhang smiled and looked at us again, then strode away.

I received an outdoor reality show a while ago. I planned to go to the countryside of a neighboring province to shoot for three months. I heard that the signal over there is not very good and it is inconvenient to communicate.

In order to make up for the time when the two places were about to be separated, Lucien and I made an appointment to spare some time every day before departure.

Almost all the spare time was used by us when commuting to and from get off work, visiting the supermarket, and buying breakfast.

Even if it is somewhat "inseparable" in the eyes of others, I still feel that this time is far from enough.

When I was thinking about it, Lucien gently squeezed my hand, recalling my thoughts.

Lucien: How do you plan to spend the last night at home?

MC: Speaking of it, it might be a bit boring...

MC: In fact, my luggage hasn't been packed yet, so I'm always worried about what's left.

Lucien: Let me check it with you later.

Lucien: There is a distance between the shooting location and the urban area, so you still need to prepare well.

MC: Okay.

I looked up at the bright evening sky, and couldn't help but move closer to Lucien, entangled his arm.

MC: But the weather is so good today, let's go slowly.

Lucien: Alright.

As he said that, Lucien slowed down, we dragged a long shadow and walked slowly towards home.

Early the next morning, Lucien escorted me to the station.

After taking the luggage out of the trunk, I stood still and did not move.

Standing at the gate of the station, the dismay of parting suddenly surged up.

Lucien turned around with a sense and helped me stroke the messy hair in my ear.

Lucien: This time it's my turn to help you take care of the green plants. Don't worry, I will take care of them.

Lucien: And for you, if you need my help over there, remember to tell me.

MC: Okay.

I opened my mouth, but couldn't say anything more. Lucien sighed lightly and pulled me into his arms.

Lucien: It's ok, the words you want to say, I understand.

Lucien patted my back lightly, as if he wanted me to feel at ease.

I gradually calmed down, feeling the breath in his arms a little greedily, wanting to save a strength for myself.

None of us spoke, just let time pass quietly.

A radio alert sounded vaguely in the station, and the restraint on my waist was loosened. I also let go of my hand and raised a smile to Lucien.

MC: Phew... Recharge completed.

Lucien: It seems that the big producer is ready.

MC: Um! I will work hard, strive to go and return early.

Lucien: Okay, I'll wait for you to come back.

I waved to Lucien, pulled up the luggage and walked into the station.

After passing the security check and walking far away, I couldn't help but look back.

At the entrance of the station people were coming and going. I don't know who they are going to go to or who they have just said goodbye.

Lucien still stood on the spot, looking at me from a distance.

A train came into the station, and the crowd quickly engulfed him.

But knowing that someone is watching, has filled me with confidence.

Exclusive Radio

Lucien: The question just now is almost like this.

Lucien: After you go back, you can adjust your opening report based on today's discussion.

Lucien: Do you have any other questions?

Student A&B: There's none.

Lucien: Okay, that's all for today.

Student A: Huh? There is another hot search on the news.

Student A: "The villagers broke the news that the film crew was polluting the environment...This film crew seems to belong to the company "Miracle Finders", right?

Student B: Yes, I saw their propaganda a few days ago, saying that they are going to the neighboring province to shoot a reality show.

Student A: Local villagers said that they dumped sewage into the river and also posted photos.

Student B: This is too unqualified, right? Do you want to destroy people's environment in the name of local customs?

Lucien: ....

Student A: Wait a minute, Professor Lucien is the consultant of "Miracle Finders" .....

Student B: It's, Professor Lucien, we didn't have other meaning...

Lucien: It doesn't matter. It's a matter of fact. If the film crew really makes a mistake, it is normal to be criticized.

Lucien: But I want to know, did the photos on the hot search actually capture the scene where the show crew dumped sewage?

Student A: Not really, only pictures of the river.

Lucien: Then we better not draw conclusions so quickly.

Lucien: There is no objective fact of "the program group dumped sewage" in this photo, only the result of "the river water was polluted."

Lucien: People can stand from different angles and use this result to infer many different stories.

Lucien: There is only one true fact.

Lucien: How do you prove it, are the stories you heard were the facts?

Student A: I.....

Student B: Look, the program group issued a statement to refute the rumors!

Student B: They also did a picture comparison. It turns out that the picture on the hot search is a picture several years ago.

Student A: Huh? Then someone maliciously spread the rumors.

Student A: ... Sorry Professor Lucien, we were a little impulsive just now.

Lucien: There is no need to apologize to me, it is essentially the fault of the rumors.

Lucien: However, since the thesis is about to start the topic, you can use this matter to remind everyone.

Lucien: Whether you are doing research or encountering social events, don't be too impatient. Set your mind down and analyze the logic carefully.

Lucien: I will also look at your logic loopholes during the defense. So, I hope you will prepare it well.

Student A: Good professor, we must prepare carefully!

Lucien: Well, let's go back.

(Lucien left the room and close the door behind)

Lucien: Huh? No phone, no news...

Lucien: Forget it.

Part 2 - Main Story

I settled down at the shooting location and confirmed some shooting-related matters. It was too late when I got back to my senses.

--The whole day's hard work hits my body, but the unfamiliar environment makes me sleepless.

I unlocked the phone and saw that the conversation with Lucien was still staying in the report after arriving.

Suddenly I wanted to talk to him, so I raised my arm to find the signal direction and knocked on what I saw today.

MC: "Today, I was dealing with emergencies, the network was unstable, and the scene was very chaotic..."

MC: "But fortunately, I saw a very interesting book on the way, specially introduce words with special meaning."

MC: "For example, this one."

I posted a photo of a page in the book with the Greek word "pathos" on it.

T/N: The Greek word pathos means "suffering," "experience," or "emotion." It was borrowed into English in the 16th century, and for English speakers, the term usually refers to the emotions produced by tragedy or a depiction of tragedy. "Pathos" has quite a few kin in English. A "pathetic" sight moves us to pity.

It means the sense of yearning and longing for those who are absent.

I waited for a while, but Lucien didn't reply, he should have fallen asleep.

I confidently continued to type on the keyboard and talked out all kinds of experiences in one mind.

MC: "The villagers are very kind and hospitable and helped us a lot."

MC: "The air is also very fresh, and a faint fragrance of green grass can be smelled everywhere."

MC: "But there are so many bugs! Thanks to you reminding me to wear long pants yesterday."

I told everything from morning to night, and when I was about to say something, my phone suddenly shook.

A video call invitation appears on the screen.

I sat up, scratching my hair twice before press the answer button.

MC: You haven't slept yet...

Lucien: Well, just after finishing the report, I received your self-thinking message.

Lucien: I thought I couldn't wait for your good night today, but I didn't expect to receive a "big gift before going to bed".

MC: I don't know if you're still awake, is it bothering you?

Lucien: How come, I didn't feel disturbed.

Lucien: It should be said that I am very happy to see you share these experiences, in every detail.

Lucien: It seems that I am also experiencing these with you.

Lucien picked up the phone on the side and swiped, and smiled in a good mood.

Lucien: The book you took is also very interesting. The author has developed such a rich interpretation just around the word "pathos".

Lucien: This is the first time I know what this word means in Greek.

MC: Does this word exist in other languages?

Lucien: Well, I remember that this word is often used in English to convey the appeal of artistic works. It also means "sympathy" and "suffering".

MC: When you say this, you feel that there is a subtle connection between these two interpretations.

MC: Missing or longing for someone you care about can be considered "suffering", right?

Lucien: Maybe it is true.

Lucien: When the person you care about is not around, everything about her becomes more conspicuous, which makes people more aware of the fact that she is not around.

Lucien: Just like today.

Seeing that I was a little confused, Lucien pointed to his mobile phone.

Lucien: I saw some people on the Internet saying that the villagers at the filming location are somewhat dissatisfied with you.

Lucien: Is this the emergency you dealt with?

MC: ....I thought my actions for solving the problem were fast enough to keep you from discovering it.

Lucien: I thought you would talk to me about this sooner, so I have been waiting for your news.

I was stunned for a moment, and then quickly smiled at Lucien.

MC: Don't worry, those on the Internet are all rumors, I’ve already solved it.

MC: In fact, we get along very well, and we promised to let the guests help a family draw portraits tomorrow.

Lucien: Well, then I won't worry about it.

Lucien paused, and suddenly moved closer to the camera, seeming to want to see something clearly.

Lucien: Why you keep supporting your arm like that, is it not comfortable?

MC: No, because the signal at this spot is better...

MC: The accommodation conditions here are actually pretty good, and the rooms are clean and tidy.

MC: Except for the occasional signal, you have to looking for the angle yourself.

Lucien: I can imagine how you would look for a signal while holding your phone.

MC: You're teasing me again!

Lucien: Alright, I won't teasing you. It seems that you can sleep well tonight.

I lay down again holding my phone and patted the hard bed underneath.

MC: Newcomers may still have to get used to the bed for a few days.

Lucien: In this case, I will lie down with you.

Lucien turned off the top light and walked to the bed to lie down. I followed and turned off the ceiling lamp, leaving only the small lamp beside the bed.

The screen went dark, and Lucien's face also looked a little fuzzy.

We lie on each other's sides, looking at the screen, as if we were lying face to face.

Lucien kept looking at me. I was a little embarrassed by him, and my eyes began to drift around.

Lucien: Where are you looking at?

MC: ... I can't sleep, I want to divert my attention.

Lucien: It's better to close your eyes first, and I'll help you.

Seeing Lucien's encouraging gaze, I closed my eyes, and his low voice quickly came from my ears.

Lucien: Next, can you tell me what sound you can hear over there?

I pricked my ears and listened carefully, perhaps because my vision was blocked, my hearing became extremely sensitive.

MC: There is the barking of puppies and the roar of the machine.

MC: The alarm bell of a car rang...It was a bit noisy.

I subconsciously covered my head with a quilt, remembering that Lucien was still watching, and then secretly revealed half of my face.

Lucien: I seem to forget to remind you to bring earplugs.

Lucien: If you bear with it, the owner should wake up soon.

As soon as Lucien's voice fell, the noise outside the window stopped, and the world returned to silence.

Lucien: Is it quiet?

MC: Well, it feels quieter now than before...

We were silent in unison. Maybe the night is getting darker, and there is no other sound in my ears for a long time.

I don't know how long it took before I vaguely caught a tiny movement.

There are small ups and downs in the steady, it is Lucien's breathing.

I brought the phone closer, and subconsciously let my breathing keep up with his rhythm, as if we were in the same space.

My mind slowly calmed down, and my consciousness gradually drifted away in this sudden connection.

MC: Lucien...

Lucien: Hm?

MC: Good-

Did I say "good night"? It was too late to confirm, and my mind was gradually empty.

I do seem to be a little sleepy.

I don't know how long it took, Lucien's breathing gradually became even longer.

The girl on the screen is asleep, but she seems to have not released the phone yet.

Lucien sighed almost inaudibly, then curled the corners of his mouth again.

She was right, "The yearning and longing for those who are not around" does make people suffer.

Lucien gently stroked the sleeping face on the screen with his fingers, and spoke softly.

Lucien: Good night.

Part 2 - Memory Silhouette

Half a month has passed since the shooting. On weekend mornings, I was putting on makeup while chatting with Lucien.

MC: Professor Lucien has worked hard, and accompany me to get up early on weekends.

Lucien: It's okay, I just came back from buying breakfast.

MC: Huh? You finally remember to have breakfast on time!

Lucien: I heard that the spring limited soup dumplings from the Huxin Road store will be off the market in a few days.

Lucien: Thinking you might like it, I bought it.

Lucien: However, I forgot that you were not at home and accidentally bought two portions.

Lucien fiddled with the bag on the table and sighed softly.

I touched my flat stomach and sighed.

MC: I knew I should have eaten it again before I left, now I have to wait until next year...

Lucien: Then wait until next spring, we will buy it the first day it goes on sale.

MC: Okay! Then if you want to eat more today, just eat one for me.

Seeing Lucien nodded with a smile, I just patted the sunscreen on my face and closed my makeup bag.

Lucien: How do you feel that your dressing time has become shorter today?

Lucien: It usually takes at least half an hour before you come knock on my door.

I hummed twice, leaned close to the phone and tapped on the screen.

MC: Professor Lucien may not be aware of it. Make-up takes time and it takes time to remove makeup.

MC: At days, moving bricks are precious as moving gold, and I’m sleepy at night, so I don’t want to bother to remove my makeup.

MC: And now, it’s more important to be able to concentrate on talking with you for a while.

Lucien looked at me, smiling at the corners of his eyes and eyebrows.

Lucien: It seems that I was too accustomed to this intention before, and I will cooperate more with your time in the future.

Lucien: Speaking of this, I found a lipstick at home yesterday, which should have been dropped by you.

Lucien got up and disappeared from the screen for a while, and when he returned, he had the lipstick in his hand.

He opened the lid and showed it to me. I recognized that this was the one I carried with me before. The paste had already bottomed out.

MC: Actually this one is about to run out, just throw it away for me.

Lucien: Do you like this color very much?

MC: Yes, it's very versatile.

Lucien thoughtfully twirled out the remaining lipstick. I looked at him with a curious expression and couldn't help but smile.

MC: Lucien, in your eyes, are the various lipstick look similar?

Lucien: Just looking at it, it's a bit difficult to tell.

Lucien: But after you apply it, I can see the difference.

[Not me crying over this conversation ㅠㅠ]

MC: Unexpectedly, Professor Lucien is also have a talent for such things...

Lucien: This is not my talent.

Lucien: You make these colors look clearer and more beautiful.

[UGLY SOBBING]

It sounds like a joke, but his tone is very sincere.

I was a little embarrassed to look away, and my heart was filled with sweetness because of his attention.

MC: Do you have any favorite color?

Lucien: I have. What I see now is the one I like the most.

My cheeks were slightly hot, and I was about to say something when the phone alarm rang suddenly, interrupting my thoughts.

Lucien: Is it time for assembly?

MC: Mmhm, how can time pass so fast...

MC: Then I'll go out first.

Lucien: Be careful on the road and take a break.

Lucien waved his hand as I did, and the sunlight shining in the room reflected his smile more clearly.

After finishing the call, I also subconsciously glanced out the window.

Although we can't spend this weekend together, but fortunately, we still enjoy the same sunshine.

Part 3 - Main Story

It has been a month since the shooting started, and the daytime sunshine gradually warmed up.

Three poles on this day, we set up the machine under the sun, but a guest did not wait.

Perhaps because of the sweltering weather, the guests were not very enthusiastic about their work, and even began to find all kinds of excuses to try "ask for leave".

Physical discomfort, temporary travel, family affairs... all sorts of things like

The reasons for yes and no are endless, which makes us very embarrassed.

I communicated privately a few times, hoping that they would cooperate with the work, but within a few days, the old drama will repeat itself.

Today was another morning without anyone. My colleagues took turns to the residence to persuade. I also made a few calls to the guests’ agents.

Fortunately, after some coordination, the guests finally came forward, and we started the machine in the afternoon.

But in this state, the shooting process becomes a bit difficult. The venue is not cool enough, there are too many retakes caused by the wear, and I don't like interactive sessions...

Little things that did not constitute a problem have become problems. I tried my best to explain from them, so that my colleagues and guests did not quarrel.

In order to ensure the quality, I temporarily decided to stop work ahead of schedule after the key parts were taken.

I took advantage of the break time and prepared to go to the nearby supermarket to buy some supplies to comfort everyone.

Along the way, the villagers who came home passed by, and the sound of conversation and the roar of tricycles filled the evening breeze.

Although they looked tired, everyone was happy on the way home.

I suddenly remembered the days when I left work with Lucien before I left. At that time, I also had the same happiness as them. It was expectation and stability.

I don't know what Lucien is doing now. Did he leave work on time? Did he eat well? I took out my cell phone, but found that there was no signal.

I turned off the screen, walked silently to the entrance of the village, and suddenly a bright light shrouded my head.

The street light was on, and the warm light spread on the road outside the village. In front of the platform not far away, a bus full of passengers was pitting in.

Looking at the scene in front of me, I seemed to be gently pushed by a force and changed the direction of advancement.

I got on that bus.

Clerk: Welcome!

MC: ....

Originally, I just wanted to take the bus to relax, but I didn't expect to sit at the terminal --- the railway station accidentally.

The power that clamored in my heart drove me to buy a ticket for the fastest return to Loveland City.

When I walked out of the Loveland City Railway Station, it was raining heavily outside.

I watched the pedestrians passing by in the rain, and the reason for escaping gradually returned to my brain.

I walked into a nearby 24-hour store and sat down. I was looking at the night view outside the window and combing my thoughts. My phone suddenly vibrated, and Lucien's messages popped out.

Lucien: "Are you done?"

MC: "Well, it's finished."

I thought about it and added another sentence.

MC: "it's raining outside."

Lucien: "It's a coincidence, it's raining in Loveland City."

Listening to the patter of rain, I calmed down a bit and dialed the video call.

Lucien quickly picked it up. With the light on, I saw the familiar room behind him at a glance, which seemed to be my living room.

MC: Lucien, are you at my house?

Lucien: Mmhm, the rain is a bit heavy, let me move the green plants on your balcony.

Lucien: Are you still outside?

MC: I'll go out to buy something for everyone, and I'll go back when the rain drops a bit.

Lucien: It's already a bit late, so be careful when you go back.

MC: Don't worry, I am fully equipped.

As I talked, I nodded vigorously, as if to prove something, and as if I just wanted to convince myself.

Under the bright light, Lucien's dark circles were obvious, and his face looked a little pale.

There was a bit of sourness in my heart, I subconsciously moved closer to the screen.

MC: Lucien, what have you been up to lately?

Lucien: There is a study at the end, and the things at hand are a bit trivial.

MC: Is it very hard? You look a little haggard.

Lucien: In order to avoid blemishes as much as possible, it is indeed a bit harder.

Lucien: But it will be over soon, don't worry about me.

Lucien: But you seem to be very busy lately. Have you encountered any difficulties?

MC: There is a little problem...but fortunately, it is not difficult to solve.

I hesitated for a moment, thinking that I secretly ran back to Loveland City like this, I always felt a little embarrassed, so I changed the subject.

I glanced at the room behind him, and suddenly caught a bright color near the window sill.

MC: Lucien, what's on the windowsill...?

Lucien: Recently, a new flower shop opened near the research institute. There are many type of flowers and they are very beautiful.

Lucien: So I bought some privately and put them in your house.

MC: Well, I want to see it too.

Lucien switched the camera to the rear, and I saw a row of flowers on the windowsill, almost in full bloom.

It can be seen that these flowers are taken care of by Lucien very well, but the colors are all gorgeous, and they are inevitably dazzling when they are placed together.

always feel that this is not in line with Lucien's style, so I spoke with some doubts.

MC: Lucien, did you choose this all?

Lucien: I just chose the type of flowers, and the clerk helped to match the others.

Lucien: What's the matter?

MC: Nothing... they are bloomed very well.

MC: Is it time-consuming to raise so much?

Lucien: It does take time to change the water and pruning, but once in a while, it can be regarded as a kind of rest.

Lucien: Sometimes it is a little more comfortable to do things according to your own will, right?

I vaguely think that he meant something. Did he find out what he sneaked back into? It shouldn't be so obvious....

Just as I was thinking about how to respond to him, Lucien turned back to the camera and met my gaze.

Lucien: What about you, is there anything you really want to do now?

MC: Yes, I really want to go home, and immediately sleep for three days and three nights, and then go to eat hot pot and soup dumplings.

MC: I also want to watch movies and dramas instead of the ones I made myself.

Lucien: I thought that at least one of these wishes was related to me.

MC: Of course it is related to you. These are all things I want to do with you.

MC: It’s just that sometimes I don’t dare to think too much. It would be a little sad if I remember that you are not around.

I lowered my eyes, on the opposite side, Lucien did not speak for a while. Only after a while, I heard his voice again.

Lucien: In fact, every time the flowers bloom and wither, I also get annoyed.

Lucien: It would be nice if I could see it with you. If I raise it with you, it might be able to bloom longer.

Lucien: I am used to witnessing these moments with you. When you are not around, it is really uncomfortable.

I looked at his slightly bent eyes, and the bottom of my heart loosened for a moment, like a seed coming out of the soil.

MC: Then next time there are flowers blooming, please send me a picture.

MC: Although the network on my side may be delayed, it can be considered as a witness with you.

The smile on Lucien's lips deepened, and he nodded gently.

Customers opened the door one after another, and I glanced out the window. The rain had stopped.

Worried about revealing my position, I hurriedly moved closer to my phone.

MC: Lucien, the rain stopped on my side, I'm going to catch the last bus first.

MC: Let's continue tomorrow, go to bed early. Good night!

Lucien: ... Alright, pay attention to safety. Good night.

As soon as Lucien's voice fell, I hung up the phone in a hurry, and quickly bought a ticket to the neighboring province.

The sky was still gloomy, but my mood faintly became lighter.

One-sided thoughts may be troubles, but if this trouble gets a response, it turns into some kind of power.

The feeling of wanting to escape disappears. Between parting and reunion, I will run as soon as possible.

Because I know he is waiting for me.

Part 4 - Main Story

The filming work has been going on for two months, and the sense of summer has gradually become clearer.

It wasn't until the evening when the heat subsided. Colleagues walked to the restaurant one after another. I took out my mobile phone and walked to a place where there was a signal, and left a message to Lucien.

MC: "I have finished work, is Professor Lucien still busy?"

The words "The other party is typing" appeared at the top of the dialog box, but soon stopped and changed to a video call invitation.

I hurriedly picked it up and Lucien's figure appeared on the screen. He was wearing a white coat and seemed to be still in the laboratory.

Lucien: Sorry, I may have to work overtime today.

Lucien: When checking the data, we found some problems, and we need to "rescue" them.

MC: Is it serious?

Lucien: Fortunately, it's just a bit time-consuming to process.

Lucien rubbed his eyebrows, and my heart tightened suddenly as I looked at his tired face.

MC: I remember that you were finishing up last month, is it almost to the deadline?

Lucien: It's less than a week.

Lucien: This time I brought a newcomer, and there are a lot of things that need to be run-in in the details.

MC: They might feel a little nervous, it's the first time they take on an important job.

MC: But with Professor Lucien, everyone will be able to find the way out smoothly.

Lucien smiled and moved a little closer to the screen.

Lucien: I find that in your eyes, "Professor Lucien" always seems to be very powerful.

MC: Not only "Professor Lucien", in my eyes, Lucien is omnipotent.

MC: As the saying goes, those who can do more work, but you can't force yourself too much.

MC: Maybe you can’t rest assured now, but I have a tip to make you feel better.

Lucien: Oh? I really need it. Please tell me your advice, teacher MC.

MC: When it's really difficult, just give yourself a wish.

MC: In this way, every day we are moving towards that final wish and we have overcome many difficulties without realizing it.

MC: For example, arrange a vacation or travel, as long as it is something you like to do!

Lucien looked at me for a while and suddenly laughed.

Lucien: Thank you, teacher MC. I understand.

Lucien: In fact, this wish has always existed, maybe I'm just too impatient.

MC: What is Professor Lucien's wish?

Lucien blinked at me and skipped the question.

Lucien: If I remember correctly, your filming is also coming to an end.

MC: Well, the part of the reality show has basically been filmed, and I will go to the neighboring city next week to make up some empty shots.

MC: It is estimated that I will be able to go home soon to appreciate the flowers and plants that Professor Lucien has taken care of!

Lucien stretched his brows, and the smile in his eyes became deeper.

Lucien: Well, they are also looking forward to seeing you.

The neighboring city’s framing plan is based on the theme of "going home from work", for which the on-site director summoned a group of extras.

However, it rained suddenly before the filming started, so we had to buy an umbrella temporarily and distribute it to everyone.

I looked at the monitor and thinking about the moving line. I saw the light of the traffic light blurred in the rain, like a wet oil painting.

Considering that the theme of this reality show happened to be related to painting, my heart moved and decided to change the shooting plan.

MC: Please use an artistic way to express the theme, we will do slow-motion processing.

Think of this block as the background of the painting. You can use the props to simulate the people in the painting.

The actors seemed to be very interested in this suggestion and tried them.

MC: Let's try it first.

The camera moved slowly on the slide, the light slid between the transparent umbrellas, and the crowd moved closer to the camera and dispersed.

I seemed to catch a glimpse of a somewhat familiar figure in an instant, but in a daze, the figure disappeared again.

...How could Lucien be here? I must have saw it wrong

I blinked vigorously, forcing myself to concentrate.

Some of the people in this "painting" singing, some strode across the puddle, and some pulled out a stack of papers from their bags and threw them into the sky.

The night scene oscillated in these chaotic lines, and seemed to be lit by the warm atmosphere.

A piece of A4 paper flicked in front of the camera. After a brief loss of focus, the familiar figure suddenly appeared in the line of sight.

MC: ....?

I refocused, but found that the scene in front of me was not an illusion.

A narrow gap was opened between the crowds, and I saw Lucien holding the umbrella, walking towards me.

He didn't make any movements, but just followed the crowd forward.

The light-colored coat was stained with some rain, which did not weaken his refined temperament at all.

This is the "Professor Lucien" I am most familiar with. He walks in the crowd calmly, as if he just got off work.

The splendor in front of me instantly lost its sound, and my eyes could only follow him closely.

But why is he here, why did he join the group acting team?

Doubts and surprises are intertwined in my heart at the same time, I really want to run to him immediately. However, at present, the only thing I can do is to look up from behind the camera.

It seemed that I had been waiting for a long time, and the moment I looked at him, I looked into his full of emotions-eyes.

In the next second, he took out a familiar lipstick from his pocket, twisted his fingers apart, and slowly started writing on the inside of the umbrella.

Perhaps it was because the people around him were acting in an exaggerated manner, and his movements did not appear abrupt.

I subconsciously stared at his umbrella and slowly pieced together what he had written.

P-A-T-H-O-S, is the word we talked about.

The continuous rain water glides along the umbrella surface as if soaking it.

There is a faint bitterness in my heart, it is the smell of yearning and longing.

After a brief gaze, Lucien passed the equipment and stopped beside me, as if accidentally covering the umbrella over my head.

I came back to my senses and refocused my attention on the shooting until the group actors had all gone.

MC: Cut!

MC: Xiao Fu, tell the actors, just follow the feeling they just did, and take another shot later.

My colleague walked to the side to greet the actors. Seeing the atmosphere loosen, I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to face the person behind me.

I took a straight step forward, squeezed his sleeve, and poked his cheek again. Lucien leaned down cooperatively, and let me touch him.

MC: Am I really dreaming...

Lucien: Do you need to check again?

The smiling eyes are so near. As if bewitched by the light, I opened my arms to embrace him.

The faint fragrance of green grass enveloped my breath, and I couldn't help but move closer.

MC: Lucien...

Lucien: Mmhm, It's me.

He was holding an umbrella in one hand, and he held me tightly on my shoulder with the other. I didn't care if there were other people beside me, and buried my face in his arms.

A real touch came from under my palm, and the tips of his hair flicked gently in my ears, itchy.

At this moment, without the barrier of the screen, even if I bury my head in his arms, I can clearly outline his appearance.

Lucien gently patted me on the back. I don't know how long it took before I heard his voice.

Lucien: Is it confirmed now?

MC: Hm.… It is indeed our Professor Lucien who has replaced the actors.

MC: But why are you here?

Lucien: Now I'm here, will it affect your work?

MC: No way, you just provided a super awesome picture.

I remembered the busy work he said before, and subconsciously stroked the back of his hand.

MC: Is your research over?

Lucien: It's just ended today.

MC: Why didn't you take a break first...

MC: It’s a few hours’ drive from Loveland City to here.

Lucien: Compared to the past few months, a few hours is nothing.

Lucien: Besides, someone suggested before that I should give myself a wish to face the problems.

Lucien: Now that the problems have been resolved, I will come to realize this wish.

I looked into his eyes and suddenly understood what his "wish" was that he didn't tell me that day.

MC: But we have to go back to the countryside after the filming today. Is such a short time enough?

Lucien: Not enough.

Lucien: But the moment I saw you, I still thought it was worth it.

Lucien: I just don't know.. Does this suit the "going home" theme required by the big producer?

I looked at his questioning expression, and couldn't help but gently squeezed his face again.

MC: Totally suitable.

MC: Lucien, welcome back.

Part 4 - Memory Silhouette

After a brief reunion, Lucien will return to Loveland City.

After the filming was over, my colleagues took the equipment back first, Lucien and I got on the bus to the station.

There were not many people on the bus at this time. We sat side by side by the window, and the neon lights circling outside the window passed by.

This short reunion still made me a little dazed. I stared at Lucien's reflection on the car window, as if I couldn't see enough.

The bus stopped for one stop, opening and closing the gap between the doors, Lucien turned around, with a helpless smile on the corners of his lips.

Lucien: Suddenly holding it so tightly, are you afraid that I will run away?

He raised our tangled hands, and I realized that I had just accidentally used some strength.

I let go hastily, and reluctantly hooked his finger again.

MC: It's a bit, after all, "sweet dreams" are always too short.

Lucien: If this is your dream, don't worry, it won't slip away easily.

Lucien gently folded his fingers and clasped my fingers.

Lucien: Speaking of it, I'm very curious, why didn't you choose the Loveland City for your shooting this time?

I paused and thought about the words before I spoke.

MC: Loveland City is a bit far away from us, and suitable shooting sites have not been approved for various reasons.

MC: But there is another reason that I don’t want to shoot in Loveland City.

Lucien: Hm?

I paused and thought about the words before I spoke.

MC: At first, everyone was back at their home. If they were in Loveland City, they might not even want to work.

MC: Especially knowing that I'm in the same city as you, I can't help but feel sorrowful.

Lucien smiled and stroked the back of my hand lightly.

MC: But how do I remember that you seem to have sneaked back once halfway through?

MC: Huh?! How did you know..

I looked up at him in surprise, but Lucien smiled and clenched my hand, pulling me closer.

Lucien: When you called me that day, it was in the store, right?

Lucien: There is an activity label on the shelf behind you, and I saw the words Loveland City.

Lucien: Moreover, the call that day was particularly smooth. Normally, your signal in the village should not be so good.

MC: ... Then why didn't you break through me?

Lucien: You look a little shaken, I have been waiting for you to tell me why.

Lucien: But you didn't, and you comforted me in turn.

Lucien: So I guess, at that time, you didn't really want to escape, you were just pissing off, or wanted to calm down, right?

The stop announcement of the bus intervened in our conversation, and after a short stop, we continued to move forward.

The night scene outside the window quickly receded, and only Lucien's smiling eyes stayed on me.

I secretly sighed in my heart. Maybe it is because he always looks at me like this that he can always guess any of my thoughts.

MC: I should have guessed it a long time ago, nothing can be hidden from you...

MC: But thanks to you chatting with me at that time, I didn't really waver.

MC: Knowing that someone was waiting for me to go home, it instantly became full of energy.

Lucien: Silly, you have worked very hard.

Lucien: Compared with the past, you already become stronger and braver.

Lucien: Instead, I need to get strength from you now.

I looked at his slightly frowning eyebrows, and there was a burst of soreness in my heart, and I leaned over to embrace his waist.

MC: Can this give you a strength?

Lucien: Hmm... But maybe you have to hug a little tighter.

MC: You are shameless.

With that said, I moved my body and moved closer to him.

A muffled chuckle came from the top of his head, and the temperature between his arms soon covered his back. I leaned on his shoulder and suddenly thought of something.

MC: By the way Lucien, who told you about the filming location?

Lucien: If I told you, would you blame that person?

MC: Of course, it's not right to disclose the itinerary privately

MC: But criticism belongs to criticism. Since it was revealed to you, I will still personally thank this person

I reluctantly rubbed his chin and buried my face in his shoulder.

I felt Lucien resting lightly on the top of my head, and a slight vibration followed his voice.

Lucien: I'll tell you when your work is all over.

Lucien: Now there are only two weeks left, and we can enter the countdown to go home.

Lucien: I hope that when you see me again, you can still be as happy as you are today.

MC: I will definitely be happier than today.

The bus kept entering and leaving the station, muting our tail sound in the slightly bumpy carriage.

I counting in my mind, there are three stops, two stops, one stop left. I'm going to say goodbye to him again.

However, the rainy season is about to pass.

I think it will be a clear sky on the day of reunion again.

Part 5 - Main Story

The three-month shooting is finally over.

Before the hottest day came, I quickly packed my luggage and returned to Loveland City.

As soon as I got out of the station, I immediately looked around, looking for Lucien's figure.

The moment I dragged the box in the crowd, a familiar call suddenly came from my ear.

??: MC!

I turned my head and saw Lucien standing outside the security line of the station, his eyes gazed deeply on me.

MC: Lucien!

MC: Excuse me, please let me-

I dragged my luggage around the crowd, and ran towards him. Seeing Lucien, I rushing towards him, I simply let go of the luggage and jumped into his arms.

Lucien: .... Be careful.

Lucien warned me like this, but his arm had already hugged me tightly.

Rarely, he didn't lean over to hug me and carried almost all of my weight in his arms. I had to stand on tiptoe so I could barely touch the ground.

There was a slight suffocation in the chest, and none of us willing to let go.

MC: Lucien... I miss you so much.

Lucien: I miss you too.

A low breathing sound came from my ear, Lucien let go of me a little bit, his fingertips slid from the top of my head to my shoulders, followed by his eyes inch by inch.

Lucien: Our big producer seems to be tanned, tired and thin.

MC: Really?

I also raised my hand and stroked Lucien's cheek, rubbing it with affection.

MC: Our Professor Lucien has also lost a lot.

MC: It seems that I have to eat more delicious supplements these days!

Lucien smiled and nodded, and pulled the two luggage behind me.

Lucien: Then let's go home.

MC: Well, this time I really "go home"!

After returning to my home after a long absence, looking at the familiar furnishings, I finally let go of the tension that had been in the past few days.

Tired from the long journey, I quickly changed my clothes, walked into the room and opened the curtains, and at a glance I saw the flowers that Lucien kept on the windowsill.

It is a new variety that has never been seen before, and it is still in full bloom.

Lucien walked up to me and was slightly taken aback at the scene on the balcony.

Lucien: ... It seems to be brighter than I imagine.

MC: Imagine?

[DO YOU WANT ME TO CUT 1 KILOGRAM OF ONIONS??!]

Lucien's eyes flickered. I thought maybe he didn't know much about flower arrangements, so I volunteered to pick up an empty vase.

MC: It’s okay, just a little adjustment.

I picked a few flowers of similar color from a few bunches of flowers, trimmed them briefly, and put them in the empty vase again.

MC: Look, is this better?

Lucien: It looks a lot better.

Lucien: Before, I just followed the maintenance instructions to raise it, but it turned out that it needed to be adjusted like this.

MC: The most important thing is to keep the flowers well, I just add a little ornamental.

Lucien: In order to make flowers and people happy, it is best for us to raise them together.

Lucien: If you raise it next time, can you please help me arrange the flowers?

MC: Of course, it's on me!

I raised my head confidently, Lucien rubbed my hair with a smile.

Lucien: In return, I have a small gift for you.

Lucien turned around, picked up a small box from the coffee table and handed it to me, opened the box and there was a lipstick inside. The authentic rose red reminds me of the handwriting printed on the transparent umbrella on that rainy night.

Lucien: Choosing lipstick for the first time, I don't know if you like it.

MC: It looks so beautiful...Why would you think of buying lipstick?

Lucien: I just think this one should suit you well.

Lucien: Want to try it?

MC: Yes!

I picked up the mirror on the table and was about to turn the mouth red, and suddenly met Lucien's gaze from the mirror.

MC: You, why are you looking at me all the time.

Lucien: Can't I watch it?

MC: Not really, just a little embarrassed...

I turned around while I was talking, only to find that he was still looking at me in good time.

MC: .... Lucien!

He was amused by the way I was bulging. He seemed to think a little bit, and came over to take the mirror from my hand.

Lucien: Sorry, it's been a long time since I looked at you like this, I really don't want to miss any of your expressions.

Lucien: But if you are not used to it, I have a compromise.

Lucien: I'll help you put it on, how about it?

This fresh proposal made my eyes bright, and I quickly turned to face him.

MC: Okay, I won’t miss any of Professor Lucien’s special offer!

MC: But did you even know this...

Lucien: I'm not that good, and I may need you to be a "guinea pig."

Lucien: But I will try to be careful.

MC: It doesn't matter, Professor Lucien's "fault tolerance" here is very high.

Lucien: It seems that this is a special treatment for me.

Lucien: Come, sit by my side.

Lucien took me to sit on the sofa, tucked the hair beside my face behind my ears, and then focused on the lipstick.

He opened the lid skillfully, and squeezed it unnaturally

His gaze rested on my lips for a while, and I opened my mouth slightly in cooperation before he made the first stroke.

The moisturizing paste pushed against the lower lip, Lucien lifted my chin unconsciously, extending the color stroke by stroke.

His movements were very light, I was a little itchy, and was blocked by him, so I couldn't move, so I kept blinking and looking around.

Lucien seemed to have not noticed my struggle, so he put on lipstick slowly and didn't forget to look around, as if admiring his own work.

Lucien: This color really suits you, and looks better than I imagine.

MC: Is it "imagination" again?

Lucien: ,After all, it is a gift for you. Since I bought it, I have been imagining the way you put it on.

Lucien: Now, I can finally see it with my own eyes.

Lucien's fingertips gently rubbed along the edge of my lower lip, as if tracing its shape.

I caught a glimpse of the flowers behind him, and my heart trembled slightly.

I don't know how Lucien faced his longing, maybe it was a short daze interspersed with his busy work, maybe it was a "wish" in my heart...

I didn't deliberately think about it, but I felt that it was like a shadow.

I gently held his face and looked at him seriously.

MC: Lucien, now I am back.

MC: Whatever you think of or what you want me to do, you can tell me directly.

MC: After all, during this time, I have also accumulated a lot of wishes about you...

MC: Just as we "compensate" each other!

Lucien looked at me in silence for a while, and finally raised the corners of his mouth.

Lucien: Since I got my wish just now, now it's your turn.

Lucien: What do you want me to "compensate" for you?

I spread out Lucien's hands, seeing that there was still the lipstick that he had just rubbed off on his fingers.

I suddenly realized that it is precisely because there is no barrier at the moment that we can directly leave marks on each other.

And the long separation that I experienced made me want to be more greedy at this moment, leaving more proof of existence around each other.

I followed my heart to stood up and kissed his lips.

Lucien: ...

The newly applied lipstick rubbed against the corners of his lips, like a small blooming flower, dotted on his fair skin.

This color is really beautiful.

MC: If I want this kind of compensation... is that okay?

Lucien met my gaze, raised his hand and rubbed the corner of his lips, and suddenly laughed.

Lucien: Of course you can.

He hugged me up and let me sit on his lap.

Sunlight spreads on us through the gauze curtain, adding warmth to the narrow distance.

Lucien: I thought before that you might need to adjust to your original life for a while... Lucien: Now it seems that I am the one who has been worrying too much.

I took the lipstick from his hand and made a few letters out of thin air.

MC: Remember the "pathos" we talked about before?

Lucien: Yes, I remember.

MC: Later, I read the book carefully and found that there are actually two kinds of misses described by this word.

Not only do I miss the other person when we are separated, but even if the other person is right in front of me, I still long for him.

MC: So, although we are not in the same place in the past few months...

MC: But to me, I never felt separated from you.

Lucien raised his head slightly and looked at me, his eyes seemed to be filled with shards of light.

Lucien: So, even if I am a little greedy now, is it okay?

MC: It’s okay.

Lucien: I not only want to see unique colors, but I also want to leave colors related to me in it.

Lucien: Is it okay?

He took my shoulders and seemed to draw something on my shoulders with his fingertips.

I lowered my head and looked over. The little red he rubbed with his fingertips just now was drawing another "flower" on my shoulder.

MC: Of course, after all... this color suits me very well.

Lucien stared at me deeply, his gaze slowly sliding from my eyes to my lips.

In the drenched sunlight, he held my face and dropped a feather-like kiss on my lips. The soft touch feels like a kind of gentle comfort, which makes me fall into it bit by bit.

I closed my eyes and felt him pull my chin slightly. I opened my mouth slightly, and his breath quickly swept through my perception.

The jaw was clamped by him, and a slight pain melted into the hot breath, which made the kiss look a little eager.

I put my arms around the back of his neck and responded carefully, the pain quickly dissipated, and he asked for it even more with burning sensation.

The faint scent of rouge faints between the lips, I don't know if it comes from the lipstick on his lips or mine.

The shoulders were gradually clasped by him, and the cold air from the air conditioner came in through his fingers and was warmed by his palm.

Every skin that touches him is conveying pleasant sensations. I keep my eyes closed, but my eyes are full of brilliance.

The wet and rainy season that I have just spent alone is all illuminated by the snuggle at this time.

I don't know how long it took, the temperature on my lips slowly faded, I opened my eyes and saw a mess of rose red on Lucien's lips.

MC: Lucien, the lipstick--

Lucien: It's all spent.

We reached out to each other at the same time, trying to wipe off the fainted lipstick. But no matter how you rub it, it will leave a shallow trace.

We looked at each other in embarrassment and couldn't help laughing together.

MC: What to do.. am I ugly now?

Lucien: No, it's cute.

The eyes of the person in front of me are like water, and the sunlight seems to have washed away the complexities in these eyes, showing a bit of pure satisfaction.

Lucien embraced me again and stroked my hot cheek patiently.

Lucien: Any other wishes?

MC: There are a lot more, I feel I can't finish it for several days.

Lucien: It doesn't matter, I will be with you for many days.

Lucien: Those missing seasons, let us make up for it together

Notes from me: I can’t helped but giggling and crying over this date. The writer really gave us how Lucien’s feelings towards MC. They will loved each other for sure, with any circumstances ahead them. My wish just, please give them a happy moment like flying kite maybe? Anyway, thanks for visiting my blog and always reading Lucien’s date, and give him love~ xoxo

#mlqc cn #mlqc #mlqc lucien #lucien #mlqc translations

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daydream-believin · 3 years ago

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MERLIN’S APPRENTICE & MERLIN’S CHAMPION || trollhunters

warnings: swearing

a/n: if rott gave me anything it gave me this idea

I KNOW I SAID “JUICY” BUT REALLY THAT WAS JUST THE ANGST POTENTIAL,, THAT IM NOT INDULGING IN THIS POST IM SORRY LMAO

OKAY WHAT IM REALLY TALKING BOUT HERE IS A GOOD MERLIN/ARTHUR BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS

no sorry i haven’t seen bbc merlin don’t come for me i’m ignorant

OKAY SO

we know douxie kept an eye on the human trollhunter and co

but douxie’s really having a hard time convincing himself he’s just doing his job

he’s actually enjoying this a little too much despite how boring staying in the shadows is

and he’s kinda worried?

so he’s got this bright idea: you know what would better help him keeps tabs? if he befriends this person

and so he does

fuck merlin’s shadows

sod the rules

ofc he’s very up front about knowing they’re the trollhunter and that he’s merlin’s apprentice

we wouldn’t want that to become a huge festering secret that eats douxie from the inside out until the inevitable reveal when merlin calls them both to help with the arcane order and they realize they’ve both been lying to each other’s faces for months/years and neither of them know if they could ever trust the other again, right? — phew *catches breath*

but before you know it, mr. casperan and mx. trollhunter are best friends

he’s basically the toby to your jim

and you’re very happy to have a best friend like douxie

he understands that monster hunting hustle

he’s the only person you can vent to and actually talk about what’s going on without sounding like a loon

and douxie likes being able to tell someone all his frustrations with merlin, since you’re also in that boat with him

you spar sometimes. it’s fun, but you’re very careful not to accidentally hurt your friend (he’s extremely careful not to hurt you or wound your ego by effortlessly wiping you out)

ofc, there’s the occasional, brushing of hands, faces a little too close together, accidentally winding up on top of one another, purposefully winding up on top of one another 👀 you know how sparring be

you and douxie are a duo. a duo who have become trollmarket’s resident troublemakers, to vendel’s exasperation

you guys tease each other a lot

you do a lot of stupid shit, cause hey, now you have magic armor and a magic sword and a magic best friend, did you think you wouldn’t get up to some shenanigans?

douxie is your impulse control and he’s not a very good one, as he’s just as bad

truthfully archie has the brain cell

and pranks? gods the pranks. you two are always either pranking each other or you’re teaming up to prank some other troll who said smth mean to you in the pub. vendel had to personally put a stop to it (read: chew you out)

doux thinks the world of you tho, you’re such a noble knight, and likes to tell people about how you’re a cinnamon roll, so innocent, so pure

and then they meet you and you directly contradict those statements

trollhunter: i’ve never done anything wrong in my life, ever

douxie: i know this and i love you

(spoiler: you’ve done lots and lots of wrong)

doux spends an awful lot of time slinking around trollmarket now, and he’s in the know for everything that’s happening

(no more being kept in the dark for this wizard apprentice)

and doux knows merlin won’t completely approve of this, but hey, it’s not like he’s helping and thus directly disobeying

really, he’s not helping you at all, it’s really fucking annoying

okay so mayyybe the occasional healing spell. you’ve got those puppy dog eyes he can’t say no to

but you understand his sense of duty, or whatever it is that drives a follower, technically being a follower of merlin yourself

you respect the old geezer (as you have not been turned into a half-troll yet) as a wise mythical figure, and as your best friend’s father

and what a perfect match you are for each other, champion and apprentice, mutually being screwed over by a guy you both think has all the answers

you and douxie help each other grow in your self-worths, that you two are more than the chances merlin has given to you

unfortunately, mortifyingly, you have caught feelings.

douxie has also caught feelings, and is saying nothing yep you have enough on your plate without him putting this on you so he’ll just quietly pine and suffer don’t mind him choking to death in the corner when you take off your helmet and throw back your hair

y’all’s problem really starts manifesting itself as protectiveness. you are really protective of your wizard and he is really protective of his knight

lots of things said that are Not What Friends Say but neither of you really want to be the one to point that out

lots and lots of i love yous that slowly get more and more serious until it’s not exactly platonic anymore

and it’s just really nice to have someone to get coffee (or your favored hot drink) with at four in the morning after a tussle with a troll

and that’s basically how you and douxie spend the bulk of trollhunters, just vibing

as much as you can vibe, with all the changelings and shit trying to murder you all the time

then merlin wakes up and shakes up your world

you are aware of your impending doom

you’re aware of it

merlin keeps looking you up and down like he’s mentally making up the measurements of your coffin

and tbh the idea of fighting gunmar freaks you tf out

and you’re supposed to win that fight?

gods

you’re preparing for your nightmares coming true soon

truthfully you knew your fucking job had a 100% mortality rate

you don’t want to die with regrets

you spill

you spill all the things you’d wanted to tell him and how much he means to you and that you couldn’t bear it if you were a goner before he knew

miraculously, douxie feels the same and tells you all the things he’d been holding back and and what you mean to him and how much he wants to protect you, that you’re gonna make it, if he had anything to say about it

and everything is perfect for one night

now you have a real reason to win

not that saving humanity isn’t a big responsibility on your shoulders and definitely A Reason

but knowing douxie’s waiting for you, for the life you’ll build together after this, the peace you’ll both have, it’s absolutely a big motivation to give your all and come out victorious and survive

hahaha loser you don’t know about the arcane order

and then merlin uses your microwave to cook a weird potion

you and merlin are alone in the house, but there’s no real mind games necessary. you may have grown past thinking he was a god, but in the end, you’re still a follower of merlin, and if merlin thinks this could give you an edge, well, who are you to question his methods

doesn’t mean you aren’t nervous as your master hands you the bottle

yet you don’t even hesitate to drown yourself in the black abyss of the tub

whatever it takes amirite?

and now you’re a half-troll

a sexy half-troll, if you do say so yourself

yeah, no ‘i’m a monster’ angst here, you’re loving the power-up

you’ve got to treat it like a cool new power-up or you will cry actually tbh i lied about the no-angst thing a new body is disorienting

your only real concern is douxie

not concerned for long tho, he sees you and the first thing out of his mouth is “nuclear!”

and he senses your concern, so he does go out of his way to assure you that boy, girl, enby, or half-troll, he loves you for your soul, darling

also again half-troll! you is hot as hell so he’s not really losing anything here 👀

he makes sure you know that too, not to let any insecurities fester

him raking his eyes up and down you gives the opposite effect of the dread merlin sent down your spine doing it

anyways,,,

doux helps out a lot more in the eternal night

like helps merlin re-defeat and re-seal morgana

he’ll do it again in few weeks but with a bigger role you know, this is practice

thank merlin for that edge YOU ARE THE LAST TROLLHUNTER YOU ARE VICTORIOUS YOUVE GOT GUNMARS HEAD IN YOUR HANDS HAHAHA

but now you’ve got to go to new jersey

douxie’s been instructed to stay in arcadia tho 🥺

it’s okay, you’ll see each other again soon

sooner than you realize

and until then you talk each other to sleep every night over the phone <3

merlins glad, actually. he’s glad hisirdoux found some solace. even if it is with the lamb he was raising for the slaughter. maybe things will go okay for them. the time map suggests it might be so

hisirdoux may have done things in a way he didn’t quite approve of, but that’s because he’s becoming his own wizard, and merlin is proud

#okay okay i’m done #see you in wizards #douxie x reader #hisirdoux casperan x reader #tales of arcadia x reader #tales of arcadia imagine #douxie imagine #hisirdoux casperan imagine #hisirdoux casperan #douxie #douxie casperan x reader #tales of arcadia #my writing

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in-arlathan · 3 years ago

Text

Writing Tag Game

Yeah, another writing tag game! I love these! Thank you @noire-pandora for tagging me! ♥

Leaving some for @johaeryslavellan, @serial-chillr, @mogwaei, @faerieavalon, @midnightprelude, @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold, @elveny and @kunstpause if you want to do this. No pressure, as always.

Let's get to it...

________

How many works do you have on AO3?

19 works

What’s your total AO3 word count?

230,920 words

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Running With The Halla – 64 kudos

The Rebel's Ascension – 50 kudos

These Stolen Moments – 42 kudos

To Heal The Hurt – 33 kudos

A Change of Heart – 24 kudos

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I aim to respond to every single comment I get, whether they are a string of emojis or a sprawling in-depth analysis of the chapter. Knowing that someone was moved by my words to such a degree that they leave a comment is one of the best things about posting my work online and I want those people to know that their reaction is valued. Like, a lot.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Eh, all of them? By this point, I'm not sure if I can even write anything but angsty monstrosities. I feel like all of my stuff ends on a grimdark to bittersweet note. Right now, I'd say "The Scar" is the grimmest Dragon Age fic I've written so far. But "To Heal The Hurt" comes pretty dang close.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Considering that even my "happy" fics always have this angsty undertone, I'd say "What Friends Are For" is pretty chill and happy despite the Solavellan heartache. Also, "Love In Small Secret Spaces" only exists because I wanted to write smut and fluff for Solas and my ancient elvhen girl Felani, so that one is quite happy as well.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Oh gosh, let me rack my brain. I think there was a very weird Star Wars/Lord of the Rings crossover I wrote with a friend of mine. That must have been absolute ages ago! I haven't done crossovers since.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I used to get quite a bit of hate back in the day when I started out posting my work online. There were mostly people trying to take me down a notch because they thought I was aggrandizing myself by including obscure tidbits from the lore of the respective fandom in my fics. Honestly, there was one person who was particularly upset that I loved the Silmarillion and based my fics on it. It was insane. These days, however, things are blessedly quiet and I'm very happy about that!

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, but I almost didn't. It was due to the encouragement by a few mutual writers that I gave it a try and I came to enjoy it in a way. If I had to describe it, I'd say the smut I write is very "touchy-feely". I always aim to make the scenes steamy but they always end up pretty soft and tender. I'm all about those emotions, I guess? I know it's not for everyone, but I enjoy writing all of this regardless.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Gosh, no. But I got accused of having stolen a fic idea once. Phew, that was wild!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not really. I did try to improve my English by translating one of my own works from German to English, but I never finished that and I don't think it counts. Also, writing in English straight away was so much easier in the end!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've co-written lots of stuff, fics and original works! My best friend was into writing as well, so we ended up writing a bunch of stuff together. We even wrote this 15,000 word HP crack fic one night during the summer holidays. Ah, I miss those days sometimes! But: After all those years, I'm actually co-writing something again with another writer I admire. We haven't started posting, but the constant back and forth has been a blessing upon my life, let me tell you.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

If you are here, you know that I adore Solavellan. I do have a lot of other ships I enjoy though, so I don't consider this to be my "all-time favorite". I never really had one, coming to think of it. My interests shift too often for that.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do hope I get to finish all the Dragon Age fics that are currently work in progress. Fingers crossed for that! But there is a metric ton of fics I wrote in the past 20 years that I abandoned, many of which I still think about.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and description. And maybe character introspection. I do love to play around with a character's tone of voice in the prose.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Perfectionism, impatience and constantly thinking about what people will think of me and my work. I try to write stuff that I personally enjoy, but there is always a small voice in my head that urges me to consider a reader's viewpoint. Maybe that is because I really enjoy entertaining people. I want them to have a good time and I'm always afraid that I will let them down.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm in absolute awe of people who do speak more than two languages and are able to incorporate that knowledge into their work. If it's a fictional language like elvhen in Dragon Age, I'm astounded by what some people do with that language because I can't get behind the logic of it. But ultimately, if I'm being brutally honest, I'm a bit indecisive about it. I enjoy a few words or phrases that are tossed into the story to indicate a different language or portray a culture or highlight something, but I usually skip right to the English transcription of fantasy languages (at least in a written format). Trying to discern any meaning from the elvhen sentences clogs up something in my brain matter, I'm afraid, and it puts me out of the moment completely. That's why I tend to skip those bits, to keep enjoying the story that is being told. Ah dear, when did I get the attention span of a goldfish?

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon. Yes, I'm ancient.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

To nobody's surprise: "The Rebel's Ascension". There are quite a few scenes in that story that were super difficult to write, but going back and rereading older chapters always gives me so much joy and pride. It's not a perfect story, but it's the best one I've written until now.

#tagged #about me #writing #writing and rambling

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mallowstep · 3 years ago

Note

I just thought about this

Do you think the Clan cats might ever have some form of PTSD from eather witnessing another cats death in any form like in battle or another disaster or even killing another cat themselves

I really do want to expand on this

okay matthew from the end of this post here it turns out i have a lot of thoughts and talked for like, almost 2k words about this. sorry. there's a tldr at the end.

hmmmmm

my official answer is, "sure, anything is possible, especially if you want to explore that."

my more rambly answer is...kind of.

we're just going to jump straight in with serious cat talk here, but cats? those mofos are killing machines. they are highly efficient hunters. kind of like people and creating things.

on the other hand, cats are also huge cowards who don't like to fight. hence cat and mouse: the cat doesn't want to go in for the kill unless they're sure they can execute it.

i like to think of them as a very krav maga idea: "we don't fight unless we absolutely have to, but once we go in, we go all in."

so...on one hand, "do cats experience ptsd from killing each other?" feels kind of like asking, "do humans experience ptsd from making things?", and yet, that's clearly extremely reductive.

it's also worth talking about what ptsd is. it's easy to think of ptsd as equivalent to trauma, but it's not.

trauma is, well, traumatic events, ptsd is one possible response. most people who experience trauma do not develop ptsd.

(there's also c-ptsd, but i'm getting to that.)

ptsd is, basically, an overactive adrenaline response, basically. it can look similar to depression and anxiety, but it's not the same. things like flashbacks and triggers are not exclusive to ptsd, or even any specific mental illness. it's normal to experience ptsd-like symptoms after a traumatic event. that's a traumatic response.

ptsd is, instead, the unhealthy extension of that, in time, and possibly severity.

before i go any farther, i just want to say, this is not to say you need to have ptsd to have trauma, that you can't have ptsd/trauma if XYZ, etc., so please, give me the benefit of the doubt here. it's always tricky to word these things in a way that is both clear about what i mean and not harming people.

mental illness is always a tricky subject. trying to fit a sum of many symptoms into boxes will never work, but i am going to lean on it as a tool to categorize and discuss experiences in a general sense.

i also want to mention c-ptsd, or "complex post-traumatic stress disorder." this is a debated diagnosis, in that where it fits into mental illness boxes is argued and it's yet to be included in the dsm, but for now, it's sufficient to think of it as ptsd's fraternal twin.

c-ptsd develops when trauma is prolonged, and there's little/no chance of escape. think kidnappings and child abuse.

it shares a lot of symptoms with ptsd, but it has its own unique cluster of symptoms, especially surrounding relationship issues.

right. we can rule that off for things cats typically experience from battle. but i still want to talk about it.

but ptsd is in reference to human reactions to trauma, which is fine! all warrior cats are at least a little anthropomorphised, or it wouldn't be fun to read about.

okay, before i lose the thread, circling back to my point, the conditions for ptsd are a prolonged response to a traumatic event. i, personally, don't think that your everyday warrior is going to experience this. some amount of battle is normal for cats, yeah?

but i do think ptsd/ptsd-like conditions are quite possible. i'm going to move into a discussion of various characters, now, and i'll put that under a read more.

okay, let's examine a few different cats, starting with mudfur.

why mudfur? because he chooses to be a medicine cat specifically because the battles of being a warrior are too much for him. does this mean he's experiencing ptsd? no, i don't think so. we never see any indication of him having flashbacks or hypervigilance. mind, i have

okay sorry you uh

i took a break to read mothwing's secret

see i've been putting it off bc i knew it was going to make me feel things and lord it did

phew

well i was going to talk about mothwing but first, back to mudfur

i can now confirm that we don't see any evidence of ptsd in him. trauma, maybe, but not ptsd.

which...checks.

next cat, ivypool.

but my ivypool, not canon ivypool, because i gave ivypool ptsd.

if you haven't read it, hedera helix is my canon compliant ivypool series, and you can get the Deets there, but i think "fair is the night" is the piece to focus on here. specifically,

The dark is the same, and the heat, and the way she slinks through the shadows, trying not to take notice. The way every pawstep is echoingly loud, and how she can't catch her breath or find her thoughts over the noise. All that's missing is.

Him.

Maybe Ivypool does still dream.

She hisses, her belt bristling, tail lashing, and raises her paw, claws extended.

what's going on here is that she mistakes tigerheart for hawkfrost.

yes, she has ptsd.

she also has c-ptsd in my writing, but i don't want to talk about this at the moment, because ivypool is complex, and i don't feel like bringing dovewing into this. but no, this is her having ptsd from her (dark forest) mentor trying to kill her. a cat she, at least on some level, trusted turning on her and attempting to kill her.

so for ivypool, it's the unexpected that traumatizes her.

which i think makes sense: cats don't generally expect to be attacked by those they trust. which leads me into...

character three: bluestar.

now, bluestar is complex because of the dementia, but i think it's pretty easy to say: tigerclaw (a cat she trusts) betrays her, she gets hypervigilant and stops trusting people.

i'm deliberately going short on this because i'm at almost a thousand words and uh,, i just want to talk about mothwing.

mothwing. my baby. my beloved. my beautiful.

fuuuuck okay so i should not have read mothwing's secret because this is going to turn into me writing mostly about that, but i actually knew 90% of what was contained in it through moonkitti videos + doing research for various mothwing related projects.

i think the only thing i learned was the moonkitti scene about bees is actually completely canonical, as written, and that it was possible for me to love mothwing more than i already do.

usually, i'd want to also talk about willowshine, but i'm going to keep my focus on mothwing. willow my love is going to come up, but i'm keeping my focus tight.

mothwing! onto my purpose: mothwing and c-ptsd and religious trauma.

she will get her own essay i have a document titled "mothwing and religious trauma" but with trope-bingo i've been writing the essays less, so bear with me.

anyway. i'm not waffling, i'm just trying to set up a good starting point so i don't ramble past the purpose. and i think...the scene with mudfur and mothwing near the end is what i'm honing in on. (spoilers, duh, but also, you don't need to have read it.)

so mudfur comes to mothwing after the battle, and she turns him away. he doesn't understand, but i do.

religion has been used against mothwing her entire life. her clan used it (inadvertently) to keep her from her purpose, hawkfrost used it to maintain his control over her, and mistystar used it to again keep her from her purpose and passion. (and yes, i have strong feelings about what this does to willowshine, but i'm trying to stay on-topic.)

and then, the first tangible proof she has of starclan is the dark forest. and her brother. attacking the nursery. and her.

and then mudfur has the audacity to say, "yeah sorry we don't know anything! but like why are you still rejecting us?"

(makes me want to rewrite the ending of "if you love me any, let me know it now" actually, i'm angry. not going to, but i want to.)

adfskjl mothwing is my new purpose for existing. i may actually consider changing my blog title from "in this house we lovewing dovewing" to something mothwing themed. i love her. expect a mothwing focus sometime soon-ish.

right, so, i don't think mothwing's perspective needs to be explained here. but...she is very self-aware of her position. she struggles with it. she doesn't want to talk to willowshine about her beliefs — she's grateful when willowpaw just accepts it and doesn't discuss it with her.

mothwing as a character has always been appealing to me. but. again, trying to keep focused, her brother is manipulative and cruel.

(i'm not saying abusive because i don't know if he really is. i'd want to do a proper analysis for that, not just ramble in a blank document for a while. he's toxic, but i try to reserve abusive for abusive characters. i think he is, but i don't know how i would defend that, ergo, i'm avoiding it for now.)

just. her whole life.

she spends a long time trusting others, looking to starclan for answer and salvation, and it keeps letting her down, and others keep using it against her, like a weapon. there's a lot to mothwing, but i'm really trying to stay on topic.

before i get to my closing arguments, some honorable mentions for characters i didn't talk about, but could have:

squirrelflight

feathertail, stormfur, and mistyfoot

dovewing

briarlight. okay she's such a good honorable mention i just have to explore this for a second, but the scene in bramblestar's storm where she's afraid of falling trees is good. i don't know, she seems fairly functional, but she's definitely not "over it."

anyone captured by twolegs.

tawnypelt

bramblestar. before you gasp, he too trained in the dark forest and was manipulated by hawkfrost and tigerstar.

probably a lot more.

so anyway, if you hung around for nearly 2k words to listen to me talk about cat trauma, here's my closing statement:

i think ptsd in clan cats is definitely going to be a thing, but i think, more often than not, it's not going to come from the battle. we looked at several examples where the incident happened during a battle, but i think it's the betrayal that's more shocking than the actual fighting.

i didn't address ptsd from cats killing each other, other than mudfur, and that's...frankly that's because i don't know. it is very hard for me to sympathize with those characters long enough to think critically about it.

like, i can write villain pov, but i don't think i can actually say, "what if XYZ feels bad for killing someone?" even if i was going to write about like, firestar killing scourge, i don't think i could.

not in this context, anyway.

similarly, i think a lot of what we'll see is trauma. cats are already extremely vigilant, and while it's possible to get hypervigilant cats, i'm not sure how often it's going to come out. cats are good at hiding physical pain, ipso facto, i imagine they're good at hiding emotional pain.

which isn't to say that they...you know what? you know what? if you want to come argue with me about human ptsd, you can do that on my main. but i'm talking about cats, and i say that they probably don't experience ptsd because they probably shove away a lot of the external symptoms, and that's mostly how we identify ptsd. this is not an end-all be-all, nor does it apply to people, but i don't know how to begin couching this, and i'm tired.

alright, well...

tl/dr: yes, trauma and maybe ptsd occur in clan cats, but i think it's more likely to be from betrayal than fighting.

dkjl this was a lot if u have follow up qs or just wanna discuss this my ask box is open! <3

#ask #anon #mine #essay #trauma #ptsd

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kirkwallgremlin · 4 years ago

Note

“Having their hair washed by the other” for the prompts?

@pinkfadespirit thank you both 💕 this has taken me a month (literally to the day, I found the original post!) and it ended up much longer than I originally planned 😅 it also probably needs some work and some more editing but my brain is determined to move on, so fingers crossed there’s no glaring errors <3 but ANYWAY here’s some more Carvistair 💙 it’s also connected to this fic!

Carver was in pain.

He tried to hide it but it was clear from the way he moved, not quite as fast as usual, favouring one side a little more. Alistair didn’t blame him. The injury had been nasty, nasty enough that he had worried that maybe, just maybe, this might be the time he lost Carver.

But he hadn’t.

Carver was alive, he was ok, and he was finally able to leave the infirmary.

“Careful,” Alistair warned as Carver stumbled slightly on the uneven floor. “You don’t want to hurt yourself more.”

“I’m fine,” Carver said and although Alistair couldn’t see his face, he knew Carver would be rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to fall and break my neck in my own bedroom.”

Alistair chuckled, the laugh a little hollow, the idea of Carver being hurt yet again holding it back.

“Imagine that,” he said. “The great Carver Hawke, defeated in battle, bested by a floor tile.”

Carver waved a hand at him, dismissive.

“I’m not the great anything,” he said, but although the light in the room wasn’t the best, Alistair thought he might be blushing.

“You’re one of the greatest things that’s happened to me,” Alistair said softly.

“You’re an idiot,” Carver said, but he was definitely blushing now.

“And you kind of stink,” Alistair pointed out. “I know you couldn’t exactly wash while you’re trying not to die but phew. Those sponge baths only do so much.”

“Are you just trying to get me naked?” Carver laughed, trying to hide the involuntary wince as he moved too suddenly. The wound was no longer life threatening but the healers had warned them both it would still take time to fully heal.

“Well, it’s not like that’s hard. Usually something along the lines of ‘Carver Hawke, take off your clothes please’ works. Or ‘has anyone seen some very impressive arms lately?’. Or just taking off my own clothes usually does the trick too.”

“I wouldn’t complain about that,” Carver said but Alistair just swatted him on the arm, as gently as he could, still a little worried he would hurt him. He knew Carver would hate that, the idea of him fussing, worrying, but…

“Shut up and get in the bath,” Alistair said, interrupting his own thoughts before they could begin to spiral again, nudging him towards the water he’d already had prepared. “You haven’t had a proper wash since you were hurt and I am not kidding about the smell.”

Carver pulled uselessly with one hand at the bottom of his shirt, unable to properly lift it without the use of both arms. The healer had insisted that the movement in one remained limited, however, worried it would further exacerbate the wound.

“Let me,” Alistair said, pushing Carver’s hand aside with his own as he pulled the loose cloth over Carver’s head. He couldn’t resist stepping in to give him a quick kiss as the fabric came clear, Carver’s mouth trailing after his as Alistair pulled back. He tossed the shirt to the side, returning to help Carver remove the rest of his clothing. He could feel Carver’s eyes watching him, burning into his skin as he moved.

There was something strangely intimate about standing there next to Carver, fully clothed in contrast to Carver’s nakedness. As his eyes met Carver’s, Alistair felt like he felt it too. The mood had shifted from the earlier joking tone, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Should we undo these?” he asked, one finger trailing over the bandages, around Carver’s shoulder, held in place around his chest.

The ugly marks where the creature’s claws had gouged through skin, muscle, almost into the bone, were dark against Carver’s skin as the bandages fell free. The healers had done what they could but anything else had to heal naturally, they’d explained. Otherwise they risked Carver losing full mobility in the limb.

Alistair traced them silently with a finger, brushing as lightly as he could along the skin beside each mark, watching as his hand traced the shape of injury, following the curves of Carver’s muscles. One cut through the tattoo on his chest, splitting the bold inked lines in half.

He glanced up to see Carver’s eyes on his face, watching wordlessly.

“Does it hurt?” Alistair asked softly.

“A little bit,” admitted Carver. “Not as much as it could.”

The water in the bath had lost some heat in the time it had taken to get them there but it was still more than hot enough to be comfortable. No doubt Carver would have been fine climbing in by himself but Alistair helped him anyway. No point letting him slip in such an easily avoidable situation, not when he was already hurt.

As Carver sank into the warm water, he let out a sigh, his eyes fluttering closed in a way that Alistair wasn’t sure was completely intentional.

“Are you ok?” Alistair checked as he perched on the side of the bath, concerned the reaction was pain and not contentment.

“Yeah,” Carver sighed, sinking further down into the water. His eyes closed again, properly this time, as Alistair ran his fingers through Carver’s thick hair, hoping to help him relax into the warmth.

He reached for the clay jug that stayed near the bath, reaching around Carver to fill it. A thought crossed his mind as he looked at Carver’s closed eyes, taking only a moment of hesitation before he acted.

The water cascaded over Carver’s head with a splash and Alistair jumped back out of reach, clutching the now empty jug as Carver spluttered.

“You ass,” Carver said with a rude gesture, brushing wet hair out of his eyes. Alistair tried, unsuccessfully, not to laugh at his indignant look as Carver muttered something about revenge and Alistair being lucky he couldn’t move properly.

“Here, I’ll help properly this time,” he said, stepping closer again, Carver watching his every move warily. This time though, he emptied the refilled jug carefully, slowly tipping the water over Carver’s hair until it was wet without him having to bend to submerge his head.

“I’m not complaining about your sponge baths but I’m already feeling less grimy and gross,” Carver said, pushing back the wet hair that had slipped back down, sticking to his face. “Can you pass the soap?”

Alistair grabbed the soap but as Carver reached for it, he brushed his hand away.

“Let me,” he said, setting the soap to the side as he refilled the jug. Carver looked at him dubiously as he emptied it once again, just as carefully as the previous one.

“I can take care of myself,” he objected.

“I know,” Alistair said, running his fingers through the wet strands, the tips of his fingers separating strands. HIs fingers scratched over Carver’s scalp, trying to make sure every part of his hair was wet. Hair was something hard to clean when somebody was lying in a bed, and as clean as it looked, Carver’s was probably still full of the dirt and sweat and blood that had marked the rest of that day.

At first Carver tensed, but as Alistair’s fingers worked, tracing circles, starting small and growing larger, he relaxed into the touch, his eyes drifting closed again.

“You awake?” Alistair asked softly, checking. He didn’t want to send Carver to sleep in a bath and have him accidentally drown there, not on his watch, even if he was right beside him. Carver made a soft affirmative noise, not quite actual words, as Alistair’s hands continued their slow and steady movements.

Normally water alone would be enough but he knew how long it’d been since Carver’s hair had been cleaned, the condition he’d been in when he was first injured, sweaty, tired, covered in Darkspawn blood, his own blood. The soap lathered quickly, the white foam disappearing beneath his hands. Carver’s eyes stayed closed as the warm water washed away the remnants, taking the dirt, the blood, the stress with it.

“You’re spoiling me,” Carver said. He opened his eyes, a cheeky smirk on his face. “Join me?”

Alistair laughed and Carver raised an eyebrow at him.

“I could try,” Alistair said, “but in case you haven’t noticed, they make baths for people… smaller than us and usually only one of them. If I tried to get in, we’d probably get stuck. Imagine that, the Warden Commander needing to find us. They’d have to run a rescue operation. Although I’m sure there would be a lot of people willing to come and help us out of that ridiculous situation.”

“Idiot,” Carver muttered, but the affectionate smile on his face betrayed the words.

“Maybe so but I’m your idiot,” Alistair said. He emptied the final jug over Carver’s hair, making sure all traces of the soap were gone. “You’re stuck with me now. And hopefully not stuck in a bath.”

“Yeah.” Carver’s smile lingered. “I’m stuck with you.”

Alistair pushed Carver’s hair, dark and wet, back off his forehead, planting a on his damp skin.

Are you going to give me the soap now?” Carver asked, still sounding half asleep.

“Nope. You need to rest your arm. Healer’s orders.”

Carver grumbled something barely audible, something that seemed to be about how Alistair wasn’t a healer, but he didn’t object any further as Alistair reached for the soap.

#carvistair #carver x alistair #alistair theirin #carver hawke #i think i like it overall even if it does need some more work but idk #this established dynamic was fun to think about but also haaard damn #i dont love the ending but hey what can you do #also? turns out writing intimacy rather than just tenderness is super hard too #much much harder than i expected it to be #abinchofsalt #pinkfadespirit #gremfic

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prisontoybox · 3 years ago

Note

17, 19, 25 (shadow lord), 27, 29, 36, 37, 38, 39

//Oops that took a while phew, thank you <3

Munday Asks

17 "What was your first muse?"

I guess other than warrior cats and one other oc that werent necessarily mused, it'd be Dipper Pines (regular and most of his aus). I ended up really deep in the Gravity Falls Amino and I ended up in many of the rps defaulting to him for other friends and rpers til I became known for it to an extent gjfjdk. I did a couple other GF charcaters but mainly him in my friend groups.

19 "Do you have ship bias?"

I'll be honest I have no clue what this means. :v If its about writing a ship with someone and their muse, it mostly depends on chemestty and if I know the mun at least a little and if its fun to write. (Ex, I haven't written any real Monix even tho its cute despite having Fox talk to a few Monos here and discord, but have written thinlady with @/gecsha and already otp'd it. I also liked Sevix but wanted SK to want nothing to do with Six in even a friendly regard, but me and @/raincoatnightmare became friends when we were writing and it was funny and cute plus added further character into SK that I like (also now lordlady supremacy ty ty). Or in another fandom, the only character I've written with a canon relationship (or semi-canon? ig its vague?) was Hero from Omori and even then it seems weird to jump into a ship with someone I havent spoken to so it would probably be more prominent with an rper I've talked to before even if its still there with strangers)

25 "Do you play smut? Do you play it only with characters you’re shipping with, or are you open for “one night stands”?"

27 "Are you interested into poly relationships for your muse?"

Tbh Ive (embarrassedly and probably poorly) written it with one other person before in a certain circumstance I don't wanna get into here that ended not-so-well but I'm too nervous to write that kinda thing with others unless we were really comfortable writing that in private. It would always have to be shipping and he's only really shipped with one muse and you already admitted to asking this so I hope youre happy embarrassing me now hfksfkjfkd (also off like you said only adults like SL)

It never starts that way and yet so often ends up like that fhsksl. For SL he's already in a cute poly ship in a verse so I'll say yes to that. Lady Fox hasn't really been written into anything at all yet and I haven't even considered any ship even my beloved thinlady for her so we'll see gjjdls. For puppy ships with the kids again idk

29 "What are your thoughts on your muses' canon?"

Sweats in divergent characters Well Six is really cool and honestly a fun character to watch go through things, I really like her and her clever survival skills even if she's not the most kind in some situations cough cough. I could write a whole essay on why I love her little differences between the other characters in idle animations, cutscene reactions, and her ai actions in LN2. And seeing her in both comic series + those LN2 cutscenes/ai, I like how despite it all its obvious just still just a kid who also enjoys time with others.

RK is honestly my favorite of the protags, little dude is hard (to the) core. I still hate the canon ending 💔 /hj. His specific idle animations we get to see are also interesting in the fact thet theyre a little different from Six's (the only 2 kids at the time). Seeing his interactions with the Nomes (Hideaway), Six (cancelled comic), and reaction to the Flashlight Girl (Depths), it's also neat to see his little personality shine through. I got the feeling he was almost hesitant to escape but went through anyway, and saw it to the end (even if it was his own end) and with all the stepping on coal and glass, hitting every obstacle in the way and still standing up straight, and being resourceful of those around him, and I can respect him. Also he's the only one who's had a chapter I would be too scared to go through if I had the LN mindset so good on him 💔.

36. "Do you feel similar to your muse in any way?"

With Fox I really feel that casual but anxious at any time feeling, and already projected a lot of my anxieties about memory loss onto her. I also just like foxes. (Ive only spent money on game cosmetics 3 times and one was the LN1 fox mask, another was yesterday $10 on an almost useless fox plush on Sky: CotL fhdjsk but hey whats important is invisible to the eyes).

With SK I can feel the "listens to an echo chamber for emotions" sometimes, and holding onto things stubbornly. It's quite easy to write him as I don't like admitting certain things either and deny deny deny, but that makes SL a little harder to make him romance fbdksk.

With SL I do really feel that overprotectiveness and envy in some things, he might be waaay exaggerated ofc but it's there. Im also a big self blamer.

37 "Do you feel different from your muse in any way?"

With Fox I'm much more social, I do like hugs and physical touchs and talking even oversharing cough just look at this whole post whereas she'd very reserved and quiet about her feelings 99% of the time.

With SK I can't really find it in me to hold a grudge that well. I can think back and get annoyed that some teacher or other kid or family member did some bad thing to me in the past, or say "so-and-so hurt me yesterday", but I can't hold it as just hate for long and see it differently. There's very few people I'm having trouble forgiving and forgetting, and they'll never be allowed near my family if I can help it.

With SL I can't say I'm in a good position if I'm in charge. I can be a good right hand or lower ranking moniter/manager, but being the head is too much pressure and depressing. He seems to be doing just fine both on his own and with his wife and/or husband.

38 "What's the best inspiration for your muse?"

Mostly jokes and random ideas with my friends! Some of the best plots I've had personally were turning a romance/ship joke into angst for pain, or angst into romance as hurt/comfort. Ofc music also helps but this is the best!

39 "What's a song that reminds you of your muse?"

I have a whole playlist so let me think of some that only or mostly involve that character and their feelings.

Fox/Six- Again

SK- Cradles

SL- KING

#anome #'anome'#🦊#🖤#🎌#<3 thanks again

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vintagedaydreams · 5 years ago

Text

Knives Out Imagine Part Two

Detective Blanc x Female Reader

Warnings: Spoilers!!, mention of death/suicide/murder throughout, language

Enjoy!!

((I have no posting schedule, but Part Three will be up and running soon, hopefully. Muse willing.))

@joalsglasses

You slowly walked towards the guard house, eyes never straying from the yard beneath your feet as you went.

Though Benoit had assured you last night that you hadn’t messed up any potential clues, you were now officially paranoid of every spot in the grass.

You didn’t want to be the thing that got in the way of the Detective solving this case.

You finally made it to your destination just in time to hear Benoit whistle and signal Marta’s car to pull in.

“Ah, (Y/N)!” came his way-too-cheerful-for-eight-in-the-morning voice.

“Good morning, Benoit,” you smiled, before a large yawn took over. You focused back on the detective to see bright blue eyes looking you over carefully.

“Excuse me,” you murmured with a blush. Benoit looked like he was about to say something, but Marta stepping up to the guard house effectively took his attention.

Phew. You were a horrible liar, (though not as bad as Marta), and you would’ve hated to explain exactly why you hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. Especially since this time, it wasn’t because of Harlan.

You followed Marta and Benoit into the building, feeling guilty as soon as you saw Marta’s face. She looked awful. Pale, bags under her eyes, almost like she was trembling. Poor girl.

Chancing a look at Benoit, he seemed to also be taking stock in Marta’s appearance and you made a mental note to speak with her when you were done here.

You hung back by the door as everyone crowded around the small surveillance camera. Between the two detectives, the trooper, Mara and Mr. Proffroc, well, there really wasn’t any more room. Besides, Benoit had wanted an extra set of eyes outside on the grounds, not on the cameras.

You turned to look out the window, not really wanting to be extra creepy by staring at everyone on the other side of the small room.

Mentally, you were going over all ways that someone to get onto the grounds without being seen by the camera, and there were quite a few. You did do some yard work in the woods surrounding the house, just enough to keep the ground clear of a lot of brush and to take note of any trees that looked dangerously close to tipping over for future reference. But other than that, you stuck to the inside of the grounds for your groundskeeping. You racked your brain, for the thirtieth time since last night, to see if you remembered anything that looked suspicious. Out of place. Odd.

But nothing came to mind. Granted, you were sometimes finishing up work when it was dark or near to it, especially in the winter months. But surely, if there was something, you would have seen it, like Benoit said?

A hand on your elbow made you jump and you jerked your head around to see Benoit looking at you with a furrowed brow.

“Y/N?” he asked quietly, as the others approached behind him, “Are you alright?”

You nodded. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. You just startled me is all.”

Benoit, hand still on your elbow, gently steered you outside. “You seemed deep in thought,” the detective continued as you both began walking from the guard house towards the woods across the driveway. The rest of the group followed a little way behind you.

You nodded again. “Yes, I was just thinking of all the ways someone could get onto the grounds and—”

You were interrupted by Benoit giving a loud groan. “You were trying to think of any ways you messed up any clues again, weren’t you?”

You blushed, not able to meet his eyes as you gave an embarrassed nod.

“Y/N,” he said firmly, stopping you both and turning you face him, “you did not mess anything up. I said it last night, and I’ll keep saying it until it registers in that pretty head of yours – if anyone came onto the grounds and did Harlan Thrombey in, they would have been careful. There would be no clues, no footprints, no anything for us to find. But it looks good on paper to check again. Especially with the person in charge of everything outdoors with us. Okay?”

You weren’t even able to open your mouth before Benoit continued, “Actually, no. I want you to say that you understand, alright? Say, ‘Benoit, I understand that I did not mess anything up and I will stop worrying about it.’”

You gaped at him. “What? ...Seriously?”

The man in front of you nodded, though his blues eyes were playful. “Yes. Come on: ‘Benoit, I understand that I did not mess anything up and I will stop worrying about it.’”

You blew out a breath, but a small smile played on your lips. “Benoit,” you began dutifully, “I understand that I did not mess anything up and I will stop worrying about it. …You insufferable bastard.”

Benoit barked a startled laugh and you felt a surge of pride that you could make that happen.

“Even better when you say it,” he grinned, finally letting go of your elbow and taking a step away as Detective Elliot approached.

The wink Benoit threw your way made your cheeks heat again. You looked over and saw Marta staring at you and you blushed even harder. Fabulous.

Steeling yourself, you walked over to her, a sympathetic smile on your lips.

“Marta. I’m so sorry I haven’t been checking in with you. How… I mean, are you holding up okay?”

Marta gave a short, brisk nod, clutching what looked with a video tape in her hands. “Yes, I’m fine. A little…shook up, but okay.”

You walked forward a few steps and wrapped her in a hug.

“I’m sorry about Harlan,” you murmured quietly, feeling her tremble in your arms. “If you ever need anything, you let me know, okay? Anything at all.”

As you stepped away from the hug, Marta opened her mouth, but soon shut it when Trooper Wagner yelled out to catch up.

“Yes, I—thank you. I will, (Y/N).”

With a small smile to you, not meeting your eyes, she hurried off after the three men and you slowly followed after her, watching as she fiddled with something in her hand.

You knew she was shook up – you all were. But she was still being a bit…odd. Huh.

Trekking through the woods with Benoit’s entourage was…an experience. Trooper Wagner, you found out, was a crazy fan of Harlan’s. Like…read every book and can throw book quotes out at the most random times, crazy fan. He even knew which book the statues scattered throughout the woods came from. You made the mistake of mentioning who made one of the statues and how you helped to get it into the woods and now, the man would not leave you alone. You hadn’t been quizzed this much even by the cops about Harlan’s death!

The smirks Benoit kept throwing in your direction were not helping either. You actually managed to slip and almost fall flat on your face if Trooper Wagner hadn’t caught you. You! These woods were like…your second home and you were acting like a first timer in them!

Grumbling under your breath, you slowly picked your way around another fallen log, mentally taking note of where it was. You’d have to call Sam’s Tree Service as soon as this was all solved to get it removed. You were pretty sure you still had Sam’s number taped to your fridge. Or maybe it was on Harlan’s fridge?

You grunted as you ran into someone and a warm hand steadied you from falling backwards. Benoit turned to look over his shoulder and gave another grin. “Trying to get out of walking with Trooper Wagner?” he asked lightly and you narrowed your eyes at him, though you started to smile.

“Can you pretend to question me or something, Benoit?” you asked, throwing a look over at where Wagner was currently talking to Detective Elliot. Who did not look enthused about it at all. Well, better him than you!

Benoit’s low chuckle actually reverberated into you from where you were still mostly pressed up against him and you hastily stepped away. Wasn’t that something that only happened in the movies? Or in those trashy romance novels you may or may not have stashed around your cottage?

Once you were a few steps away, Benoit turned fully to look at you. “I suppose I could.” He gestured for you to go ahead and you both resumed trekking after Marta who was actually quite far ahead, Elliot and Wagner not too far behind her.

“So, Y/N, in the spirit of pretending to question you, I couldn’t help but notice that you seem a little…preoccupied today. I didn’t keep you up too late last night, did I?”

Your eyes widened and you stumbled a bit. Oh for the love of… bring back Trooper Wagner and his questions!

“Um, no, it was fine, Benoit. And I’m good. Really. Just…this is all a bit much.”

Benoit hummed, blue eyes looking more at you than the ground, though of course, he managed not to trip or stumble just fine.

It was silent for a few minutes and you lost yourself, again, in your thoughts about the grounds and what you had seen, or not seen.

“You’re doing it again,” came the low voice from the detective beside you. You looked over at him quizzically.

“Doing what?”

“Overthinking. I see now I shouldn’t have said anything about wanting to find additional clues. I should have just said I wanted you along for your scintillating company.”

“Don’t you think I would’ve caught on if you’d just said that?”

“I don’t know – would you have?”

Well, no. You probably wouldn’t have. Benoit had been seeking out your company to ask questions he already knew the answers to, or to think through the case out loud. So, asking you along for just your company probably wouldn’t have raised any eyebrows with you.

But, you didn’t have to tell him that. So instead, you stuck your tongue out at him.

Benoit’s chuckle followed you as you both met up with Detective Elliot and Trooper Wagner. Talking about mud.

Benoit was suddenly on alert, asking everyone to stay back. All except Marta who was already at the little gate that entered the grounds from the surrounding woods. And apparently, she didn’t hear him and came traipsing back, followed in short order by Major and Hudson.

You immediately crouched down to greet the dogs as they both ran straight for you.

“Hey, boys. What are you doing out here?” you cooed, getting dog kisses in return. You looked up as Benoit approached you.

“Sorry, Benoit,” you apologized. “Someone must have let them out. The door was locked when I left.”

Your apology was waved away. “That’s fine. We were near to done out here anyway.”

“Benny,” Detective Elliot said suddenly from his side, “the will reading will be soon. Will you be attending that as well?”

You tuned out Benoit’s answer, already clucking to the dogs to have them follow you back up to the house.

You hadn’t been invited to the funeral, or to the will reading. It seems those were ‘family only’ events. And you’d be damned if you set foot in that house while the vultures resided in it. Your cottage was completely self sufficient and that’s where you’d stay until they all cleared out.

And speaking of…you had been present for Harlan’s Will when he made it. The house would go to his daughter, Linda. She would not hesitate to kick you out on your arse as soon as it was ‘officially’ hers and the police were done with everything.

Well. At least you could start to gather things while Harlan’s legacy was being divided between his greedy heirs.

“(Y/N)!” came Benoit’s shout from back by the gate. You paused where you were, halfway across the yard and waited for him to catch up.

“Are you not going to the will reading?” he asked once he was again beside you.

“Afraid not, Benoit. It’s only for the family.”

He turned to look back at Marta and you gave a small smile. “Marta has always been closer to the family than either myself or Fran. And that’s perfectly okay with me. Marta is an absolute sweetheart. Harlan was lucky to have her.”

Blue eyes looked you over carefully once more before he gave a slow nod. “Would you mind if I stopped by to talk things through with you? For some reason, I have a feeling that this is going to get only more interesting from here.”

You smiled, “You know where to find me.”

Benoit gave you his own smile, and no-your heart did not just skip three beats, before he headed off to join the rest of his entourage in heading up to the house.

With a whistle to the dogs, you headed back for the cottage.

You were looking forward to Benoit’s visit much more than you probably should.

#Knives Out Imagine #Benoit Blanc #Reader Insert #Benoit Blanc x Reader

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greymattermaelstrom · 5 years ago

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NYCC 2019 Outlander a sort of life ...

Discovered OL just over a year ago. What a ride! I think I’m still in one piece, though have a few scars! Only joined Tumblr a few weeks ago. This is my first original post for Tumblr. In at the deep end!! Sometimes I don’t know where I am on the Sam and Cait ‘are they, aren’t they’ continuum. I know I’m not alone. I have watched NYCC 2019 a number of times now, it is so good. Ginger and the cast were in fine form.

However, there is a section that I found particularly intriguing. I’m not sure why there was such emotion amongst some of the panel at this point. There are 2 full versions available publicly. The one that piqued my interest was the live stream version that I find on Facebook (not the final official version on YouTube).

FB search: Outlander NYCC Panel. There are differing camera angles between the two versions. YT version has a long-shot of this part. The streamed version has a much closer mid-shot as per below. You can see expressions, body language and interaction between these 4 members quite clearly. I’ve watched this 3-4 min part many times and almost always notice new things with each subsequent viewing as it’s hard to focus on 4 people at the same time. So I am putting this out there hoping some may find it as interesting as I did. Apologies if this particular part has already been discussed in detail elsewhere, but as a Tumblr newb, I haven’t found it as yet. It really helps to watch the streamed video on a good screen, the bigger the better to catch it all.

44:38 Caitriona is speaking and her voice breaks a bit on the words: really true, when speaking about her marriage with Frank before the Stones. Please view vid around this mark for context. Duncan shifts his gaze after C says this. Sam’s foot is swinging (body language experts pls) and his eyes are getting moist and he shifts position and puts his hand to his mouth (to stop his mouth trembling?). Meanwhile, Maria is getting emotional listening to this and her eyes glint. Brave C tries to say something else but decides not to and she plays with her hair as she does when I think she feels vulnerable/emotional/unsure. Duncan claps a little and tries not to shed a tear I think. C finishes and is trying hard to hold it together. Seeing that S is a bit emotional makes it hard for her I think. I found this short bit a start of the emotions found later from 47:59 where Cait then talks about Claire not being her full self and living as a compromised woman in the 60′s without living to her potential back with Jamie.

As Cait continues, 48:14 Sam pinches his nose and wipes his mouth and I sense becomes a little more emotional as do Duncan and Maria.

48:16 Sam thinks Cait is about to specifically describe the time J and C are apart and motions accordingly, but Cait talks about a slightly different part and you see her foot move up in recognition, like a sympathetic reflex, that she saw Jamie’s gesticulation and I think S sees this acknowledgment.

48:39 Maria and Duncan become more emotional and it’s on their faces. Sam is listening and watching like a hawk and he is getting more emotional.

48:47 Sam shrugs his shoulders as a sympathetic reflex of his own?

48:49 I don’t quite know how Cait kept it together whilst she spoke, maybe she had made that point before and/or rehearsed it - which is fine. She is quite emotional when she finishes as is Sam. Duncan is eyeing her I think, to see if she is ok? (relatively speaking). Cait does very well to recompose herself from that emotional place. That’s some heavy stuff there. I think when C says ‘ .. their hearts and their souls are ageless with each other.’ C sees Sam is emotional and that sets off C even more I think? M smiles at Cait’s last line. Why is it so emotional for the four of them? Was C tactfully emphasising her mature love view of JC (that OL is not a skin show)? She has copped a bit of flack that S4 doesn’t have a lot of intimate scenes along with her horny grannies podcast comment.

Is she saying she can’t live a normal married life (with whomever it is i.e.Tony, or Sam or someone else)? If it’s with Sam, the 4 cast members would know and empathise with the SC together narrative - that they are hiding it for security reasons and/or NDA. Or C is married to Tony and S loves C and knows he will never have her and C knows this and can see S is upset? Or he doesn’t quite approve of C and T? Are they reminiscing about the simple, heady euphoria they seemed to enjoy in the early days and things now have become so much more complicated? Or something happened but they are still fond of that time? These are just my thoughts. Happy to look at all other scenarios

48:55 Duncan is upset and now wipes a tear. Can’t eye-roll that one away. Sam’s eyes are quite moist. He’s trying to keep it together as does C. I imagine the pre-panel drinks have kicked in by now which can emphasis emotions. I don’t blame them for needing dutch courage for the panel. They would have been on tenterhooks about so many things. Maybe they had a choice, maybe they didn’t.

48:59 Thankfully the next fan question is delivered quickly and a nice comment about Underarmour activewear gives SC a reason to smile and press on quickly. It was good to see SC smile at each other and regain some composure. Whatever the backstory is, I felt for them. All four smile as the fan’s question continues and they needed that. C is smiling and mirroring Sam nodding along to the irons in the fire fan question and is fidgeting with the corner of a piece of paper whilst listening which is similar to Sam’s recent foot swinging.

49:26 Now this is very interesting! Most of us know about Cait’s head shake when the fan asked Sam ‘Do you sleep, ever?’ Duncan smiles and turns his head to SC and when Duncan sees Cait shaking her head, I believe Cait and Duncan make eye contact. D’s smile drops straight away, which C sees. D’s thinking, what are you doing? Cait’s thinking, Yes, what am I doing? D turns away with a serious face and continues his beard stroking. C’s head doesn’t move but her eyes drop in contemplation or ?. Then her head drops and she has a big swallow. She raises her eyebrows to stop a tear from falling? We’ve all done that. I’d like to really know what is happening there?? I’m sure you would also. She is emotional and shortly recomposes herself to an extent.

The second part of the question to S was 'Do you have a particularly favourite season or scene from OL ..’? Then S takes this opportunity to tell his ‘what is Jamie like without Claire story’, again. Is he answering the question or trying to share an allegory of their relationship secrets?? Not sure why he would refer to that bit otherwise? C had possibly just put her allegory out there, so S wants to support that with his. Perhaps SC had discussed this breadcrumb code beforehand?? If not that scenario, they still appear to be alluding to something!

49:57 Sam says, ‘He found is way back. He found a sort of life, I think’ and Cait nods with her head down. And then there was some tension relief from C and DB. Ha, Ha! And S says the Wedding Scene! Everyone laughs. Phew!

50:42 Cait gets something out of her eye a few times past this point.

51:41 Sam wipes his eye. And is still emotional.

52:15 DB gets something out of his eye. May not be anything. Could be something in the air!

These snapshots are of the streaming video and would be covered by the fair use policy I would think.

There is a lot happening in these few minutes. I’m sure you’ll find something else as well. I feel sometimes that I have invaded their privacy by looking at this under a microscope. However, it is a public event and the video is in the public domain. They know some will analyze it. That’s one reason they are on tenterhooks I think. Unfortunately, with so much conflicting disclosure and non-disclosure, we can’t really be blamed for trying to join the dots I don’t think.

I’m trying to be reasonably objective here although it is hard for me to be totally unbiased. I just find this interesting. If you don’t, then that’s totally fine. I get that some peeps are really over this. I would just ask that any comments be as civil and constructive as possible please. Thanks. Enjoy!!

#Outlander

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lizparkcr · 4 years ago

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ok so im trying to avoid having emotions about the shitshow that is the local elections so i dont yknow breakdown and ive been meaning to make a post for ages abt muriel’s route i have so many thoughts. obvious spoilers ahead not that i have more than like 2 followers who play arcana game

firstly....i was kinda underwhelmed with the second half/ending of his route. disclaimer i haven’t replayed it and haven’t got the reversed ending, only upright, and my memory sucks and i played it a while ago. SO, things that I....don’t understand:

1. SUCH a massive deal is made out of muriel (and MC) having to learn to fight, the plot literally hinges on it, only for it to swing off the plot all together into oblivion and for the final showdown to be....a series of literal games.* And I wouldn’t disagree with this as an ending tbh!!!! I think it’s fucking great actually -- a non-violent resolution to further signify Muriel’s journey from violence and isolation to peace and fun and family, and tbh sort of a massive fuck you to lucio; LITERALLY RETURNING to the coliseum only to BEAT Lucio WITHOUT returning to the violence that lucio forced on him, turning it into a place of actual joy. Like fuck!! BUT with the whole first part it just doesn’t fucking fit lmao? Muriel could have faced his demons in the beginning without learning to fight at all, he still could have had that journey. Morga could have just traveled with them right? Or even better he could have refused to fight and then the ending would have been even better. We could have had a moment of Morga acknowledging their strength??? Acknowledging their non-violent victory WITH PRIDE??? Bringing her to reflect on her choices as a mother and a leader??? Devs why couldn’t we have had that :( I may be remembering wrong but the apparent necessity of Morga teaching them to fight is the biggest source of tension for at least a book. It’s the reason for his first kiss with the MC! Also yeah speaking of tension with Morga

2. SUCH a big deal is made out of morga becoming/reflecting as (?) a mother figure to muriel (which in itself is a very bold way to go story-wise)....only for her to be killed off. Again, I don’t disagree with this decision, I like her but story-wise it could fit. But I can’t help feel like it was really premature. This is something I feel all routes suffer from, and perhaps I am expecting too much from a game that can be played for free very easily, but every single route has pacing problems, none more than Muriel’s imo. Considering the maternal aspect of Morga (for both her and Muriel!) is sooooo fucking loaded and intense like, you cannot drop that and then kill her and not really mention her for the rest of the story. Her “ghost” made an appearance sometime later and a few sentences were said and that was it. Her and Muriel’s past was so brushed over and idk clearly they didn’t have the time or money or whatever to develop it which is a real shame. Their journeys could have run parallel or gone in opposite directions literally anything but Morga dying in a moment of weakness from a cheap trick by lucio :/ bc YEAH like that was not actually weakness but certainly what morga considers weakness!!! that mistake could have split her away from muriel+MC entirely OR brought them closer together. she could have been disgusted with herself and decided once and for all to let go of lucio as a son and go her own way to destroy him, or she could have woken up to what she can do differently now and work with Muriel and co and let go of lucio that way. idk man it was just a waste

Right then....onto the romance. or. lack of :( this is completely subjective, I know some people were v happy with it but like, this could not have been a drier route and im so fucking sad about it. There were definitely some sweet moments, but that was sort of it for me. I get what they were going for, but it’s personally sad to me that Muriel’s contentedness seems to have come at the expense of sensual intimacy/tension. like there was just absolutely no spice whatsoever. I saw someone describe the MC relationship as basically platonic and...yeah. Very little intimacy that wasn’t like, cuddling or holding hands, which since there wasn’t much to build on anyway just came across as nice but unexciting. It felt like it became too easy and too normal too quickly? Naturally touch was such a precious and important thing in the beginning as Muriel was learning to trust, but that just did not get explored imo. The first kiss wasn’t...the worst, but it was sort of OOC to me. They could have got so deep with that first kiss -- the opportunity, the trust, the choice. “Happy accident” scenarios can be great and definitely could have worked for his story, but for the first kiss i was like oh ok we’re here now?? and..muriel’s ok with that considering we were just uhh sobbing about his forced servitude and violence?? idk how i haven’t mentioned it yet but the way the tone was all over the fucking shop in that book gave me serious whiplash. Anyway it’s so disappointing bc c’monnnnn this whole relationship is brand new to BOTH mc and muriel. At the start every touch is a small turning point and i think they did that so well, you feel excited at the development and where it will go, but then it’s like “ok well we’re together now so everything is easy and breezy”. you can create emotional tension (the good kind) through touch EVEN if they’re both ace. which the MC is not bc its the self insert character so. yeah. i feel like im probably being a bit harsh in retrospect but this is what has stuck with me.

This leads me to Muriel himself, and what to me was the biggest opportunity to do blow everyone’s minds bc he was SUCH a mystery before his route. Dark and brooding but shy and caring, anti-social through anxiety and fear but lonely, his reluctant but consistent support of Asra and his friends. And that was all teased in the beginning! ....and then completely fell flat. Similar to my first point: they had some deep emotional development going, Muriel literally coming face to face with the past he never knew, and the past he wishes he could forget, learning to actually be around people, learning to trust people (and ngl i fucking loved the beginning stages with MC so much), and overcoming his anxiety and pessimism. He and MC literally travel together alone for weeks. WEEKS! And much of that is skipped by. We have big emotional scenes but not much in between. And then...and yknow im not sure where it changes...after khamgalai dies? (and dont get me started on that what the fuck was the point of THAT?) after MC goes to the arcane realms? I can’t remember but at some point it’s like...all tension is gone lmao. Including tension between MC and Muriel, and he becomes quite two dimensional. It was just rushed. Vesuvia is in ruins, Nadia and co chased out of the palace, Lucio taking control etc but like...it doesn’t feel like it matters? Im really not saying that his route has to be all doom and gloom at all but don’t MAKE it doom and gloom and then do a 180 yknow? I remember Julian’s route in particular being so fucking tense, even though I knew I got the upright ending, that dinner scene was...phew. (and i do get that naturally the first 3 routes are bound to be a more exciting experience bc i was less familiar w the game etc but still, there was just 0 tension).

im not even gonna talk about the MC’s past reveal bc i have issues with it in every route so whatever

so yeah i love muriel and i still like the arcana but it’s writing and pacing is just so inconsistent and it makes me sad. I will continue to fanon Muriel’s route to death.

*It’s occurred to me that the reversed ending may be more violent and actually fit with where the story seemed to be going in the start, but I stand by the opinion that it doesn’t matter because it still doesn’t make sense. I shouldn’t have to play the reverse ending to be like “oh ok that was the point of that” bc it should make sense and serve purpose in both endings, which i dont think it does.

#im absolutely not taggin this bc i dont want to be percieved by the devs lol #or muriel stans who love his route #these are just my onions #i really wanna replay asra's route tbh his was the best #i want that reversed CG so bad but dont wanna die for it #the arcana #this post is really long but it's 1:43am that's just how it is sometimes

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years ago

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that. (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind. I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep. Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row??? So we might see her right away?? No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before? Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave. --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What? Is she reading a childrens’ book? --Oh. She’s eulogizing Gamzee. So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person. (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point. Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup??? --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side. That would make sense. You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much? Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again? Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it. ...Huh. Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia. Phew! Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here? Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense? And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah. I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them. That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way. You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm. It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL. Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something. And a black tail? This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe. Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress. Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN. I don’t see anything over her mouth! Did she stick something in it, or drug her? File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair. Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then? --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember. Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade? I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun. AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl. How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK. Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like. Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts? Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text? What color exactly... “#D00009”? Huh. That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707. In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago... no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color. (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out? That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image! FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power. Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!? D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right? Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear? I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck? WHY would you do that? Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”? What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh? Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden. Properly dramatic? You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative. Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now. From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring. I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um. What? Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again??? Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping. I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though. Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads. (But still June. Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course. (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty? We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence. (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit. And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve. Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her? Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion. Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh. Hm... huh? hhhh. huh? what, but. Why would. ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange. Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?) Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave? Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe? Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update. Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed. For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it? Or skimming it? But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that. Weird. Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here. About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really? That was speculated about? :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything.

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side. To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers. Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up. Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character.

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out.

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy. --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid... but I think we can make an exception here? I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half. Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria?

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight. BUSY day I had. Y’all take care!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #Homestuck Commentary

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sparkling-moon · 3 years ago

Text

Hi hello!

So a while ago when I hit 100 followers, I asked if you guys wanted to see some of my original writing and I've had quite some people asking me for them so... Yeah. Here ya go.

This is my first time publically posting anything since like 2014 so bare with me aha. Just a warning that this won't be consistent, just whenever I feel like it and if I'm confident enough to share it with the world as well. So uh, please be nice.

Enjoy!

Moon 🌙

-----

I dreamt about you last night.

The kind that makes you want to stay asleep and dream forever.

You were in my home town for some reason. I don't know how you got here, but you did.

I invited you over when the rest of my family was out and we watched movies together.

It was really quite awkward between us, like we wanted to say something, but we didn't know how or where to start.

Whenever we accidentally touched, we both kept softly laughing. It was so awkward, my gosh.

Then I broke the ice somehow and got you to laugh normally. It was perfect after that.

We sat closer together, our shoulders touching, and I leaned my head on your shoulder like I always do when I want to be closer to you. It was my way of saying is this ok? Are you comfortable with me touching you?

Then you put your arm behind and around me, snuggling me close.

You kissed the top of my head and rested your cheek there.

My face was right in the crook of your neck and I could smell you.

Your scent always made me stop for a couple seconds. When I suddenly got a whiff of your scent in class one day, I stopped right there and kept inhaling the soft waves. I got a bit dizzy and I smiled, forgetting just for a moment.

I wrapped my arms around your middle and pulled you closer.

I could feel your lips curl into a small smile as you kissed my head again.

"You good?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "You're really warm."

You chuckled. "And you're really small. I'm always warm."

I briefly released you for a bit to look up to your face.

"My own personal heater," I said, smiling.

"That I am."

We snuggled like that for a bit, enjoying each other's company. I didn't want it to end.

Then my phone buzzed in my pocket. I sighed, releasing my arms once more.

"It's my mum. Give me a sec." With that, I got up and walked a fair few steps from you.

"Hey, mum," I said softly.

"Hey sweetie, just wanted to let you know that we'll be back soon."

I paused. "Soon? How soon?"

"Hmm, maybe in half an hour?" Pause. "Is everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah no, everything is fine! I can't wait to see you guys again!" I said, laughing nervously. You looked to me and raised an eyebrow. Something wrong?

I shook my head. "It's fine," I mouthed.

"Sweetie?"

"Hmm?" I said, quickly snapping out of it. "Did you say something?"

"Just to say that I can't wait to see you as well."

I breathed. "Tell dad to drive safe!"

"Will do, sweetie!" Kissy noises sounded through my phone. "Gonna hang up now! Love you!"

"Love you too..." Click. "Phew, nearly gave me a heart attack," I said, fake wiping my forehead.

"Was that your mum? Is she coming soon?" You got up and walked over to me.

"Yeah and yeah. They'll be here in half an hour."

Your eyes twinkled with happiness and then confusion. "Do they know I'm here?"

I paused. "Uh, no? They know about you, but uh, I haven't actually had time to tell them that you were coming because you surprised me too!" I jabbed at his side. He was equally as quick and jumped away.

"So... Do you want me to leave now?" You chuckled softly, but your smile didn't reach your eyes.

I thought for a moment. "Maybe just for an hour or so? Just until after I've told them that you're here?" I said, apologetically. "My family don't like meeting new people without knowing about it first." I paused before softly adding, "anxiety kind of runs in our family."

"Ah," you said as you took a step forward. "Don't worry about it. I'm a big boy, I can entertain myself for a bit."

Then you reached a hand to push a strand of stray hair behind my ear and then cupped my cheek. I pushed a kiss into your hand. Your big, warm hand.

You breathed and reached your other hand, this time grabbing at my waist and pulling me towards you. You dropped your forehead to mine, looking into my eyes.

"What?" I whispered, breaking the silence.

"I just... Can't believe I'm with you," you confessed shyly. "I'm so damn lucky to have you."

I laughed softly. "And I'm lucky to have such a sweet and loving boyfriend."

Your eyes held mine for a second, gleaming with admiration and love, before your eyes dropped to my lips and swiped your thumb across them.

"Such pretty lips..." You mumbled.

Next thing I know, your lips are on mine.

You pressed your tongue to my lips and I gladly parted them without a fight. That made you smile.

Our tongues explored each other's mouths and I tasted the dark chocolate you had before.

When we separated, we were both breathless. You rested your forehead on mine again to look into my eyes and then pressed a kiss on my forehead. I giggled.

"I love when you do that," I said, smiling.

"And I love when you let me love you."

We stood in my kitchen, just holding each other and giggling.

"Ok, you need to get going," I said. "They'll be here really soon."

You chuckled loudly. "You gotta let me go first."

I shook my head no, but sighed and pulled away slightly. "I'll call you as soon as they know."

"No stress, princess. I'll wait however long it takes," you said, giving me a smile.

I smiled back.

And then you grabbed your things and was out the door (not before stealing a kiss, though) and I waved at the drive way as you reversed out and as you rode into the night.

Once I couldn't see your car anymore (actually a rental car, but anyway), I sighed and slumped back home.

When inside, I made myself a cup of tea and kept watching the rest of the movie until the door bell rang, signalling my family's return.

Then I heard a song playing really loudly and just as I went to lower the volume, I woke up.

And I realised that it was just a dream.

I was breathless and gulped air as I mulled over what had happened.

I sighed loudly and reached behind me to squeeze my pillow, burying my face into it.

"What a stupid dream," I muttered. "Why would you do that?"

I sighed again.

"That never happened and it probably won't happen ever. It's over. Whatever we were, if we were anything at all, it was over and I had finally accpeted it.

I stopped scrolling through Messenger to check when you were last active and stopped searching you up on Instagram and Facebook to see what you've been up to. Anything I could find to make sense of why you ignored me. Why all of a sudden you wouldn't reply to me.

My eyes watered and I groaned in frustration.

"It's nothing to cry over, you cry baby. He doesn't deserve you," I tried to reason. "You'll find your one. Just wait."

Then I curled onto my side, squeezing my pillow harder and drifted back to sleep.

I wish I would sleep forever.

#oc #moonsstories

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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 4 years ago

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10 Times Arnav Singh Raizada Crossed The Line (Part 1)

Arnav Singh Raizada is our perfect, tortured Mills & Boons hero. Sometimes it’s unfortunate when recent shows have aped his behavior and not the layered characterization that he had. However, sometimes (according to my own opinion) I felt that his character might have crossed the line.

It’s moments where no explanations justify his behavior.

Please remember this is all my crazy opinion so feel free to add your own in notes! Oh and don’t worry, a similar list is coming for Khushi as well as they’re truly made for each other. After all, aren’t they our favorite ‘will-they-won’t-they’ idiots?

Tearing the dori.

Arnav Singh Raizada does not apologize.

Blasting at Khushi for pranking, PRANKING him.

Telling Khushi her anklet, their almost kiss & she, does not matter.

Arnav Hypocrite Raizada - forcing an engaged Khushi to confess her feelings when he’s unable to do so.

Reminding Khushi of her broken engagement cause he can’t handle jealousy.

Manipulating & frightening Khushi with Akash & Payal’s divorce papers.

Telling Khushi he ‘faked’ his sickness to get rid of the ‘Swami’ tag.

Refusing to believe Khushi’s version of events.

Becoming Khushi’s landlord and blackmailing her (emotionally and financially) to get her to come back home.

Bonus

Telling Khushi that she does not have the brains, courage nor talent to face the real world.

#1 “Badtameezi toh maine abhi shuru bhi nahi ki.” (S1, E2)

“I haven’t even started misbehaving.”

First Reaction: No Arnav bitwa, no. That dialogue never has and never will make sense.

What’s wrong with it:

Almost everything. First of all when someone is in a position to abuse his/her/their position of power and authority, they don’t get to make rules on what counts as misbehavior. Secondly, just because one hasn’t sexually harassed a person does not mean one’s harassment hasn’t been “bad enough”.

Arnav’s behavior crossed the line the minute you tell Khushi that she and her sister are the kind of women who can easily get another man - and none of us are kids here to know what the thinly veiled insult meant to Khushi & Payal’s character.

What makes this entire situation problematic is that he accuses her with certainty based on assumptions and Khushi, really, has not warranted any sort of behavior from his end - she actually makes a compelling argument. This kind of a situation, unfortunately, keeps happening in the future where Arnav accuses her based on half truths/assumptions.

Of course there’s a part of me that always wonders what idiots as staff does Arnav have because they; (1) let a newbie go on the ramp (can’t imagine that happening at a Sabyasachi / Manish Malhotra fashion show), (2) are incompetent enough to not be able to procure and verify any information about Khushi.

Track Rewrite:

First of all, this is perhaps the only terrible moment that I want to leave untouched. It’s perfect. It sounds ludicrous but this level of animosity was required to create a hatred the two had for each other until love and lust suddenly stormed into their thoughts.

Khushi looks perfectly devastated and Arnav’s anger rises because his fashion show in Lucknow (out of all cities) has been ruined. The less can be said about recent shows where there’s very little logic to the hatred shared between characters.

It establishes that Arnav has been very aware, right from the start, how beautiful Khushi is. And not just the delicate beauty like Payal, but the beauty that can make one lose their path, their calm, their temper and tempt them out of their stupor.

It’s this opinion that he forms about Khushi that he subconsciously carries for the longest time - (it’s what makes it easier for him to believe Shyam’s version of events because this assumption of a tempting, young, poor woman out to seduce the rich never really leaves his mind).

Head-canon:

This was the only time Aman Mathur took a vacation. Poor Arnav, he really needed efficient staff.

Public Service Announcement:

Ladies and gentlemen, this does not mean that hate, pain and misbehavior is necessary for love to bloom. No, love does not have a template and this is a love story that happens despite the hate, not because of it.

Also, just so you know that Khushi - or any person - is not responsible for the things that happen to them. If a person’s self respect, dignity or agency is threatened - you go ahead and bash the attacker and not blame the person! *phew*

#2 “Arnav Singh Raizada kabhi kisise maafi nahi maangta.” (S2, E19)

“Arnav Singh Raizada does not apologize to anyone.”

First Reaction: Screw you Raizada! How dare you? Buaji - throw your infamous damned belan over his head! Raizada, do you realise you’re saying this while standing on someone else’s property?

And…

Why do I find it hot that Khushi opens the door to an impatient Arnav who’s dressed as dark as the sky, his temper matching the thunder in the background while they lock eyes? *i need help* when I watched this show for the first time I totally expected another scene like this would occur where Arnav asks her back or confesses his love. Yeah I trusted him enough to make another mistake where Khushi’s left home and he needs to get her back.

What’s wrong with it:

The things he said to her before he came to her house. The insults he levied on her are based on an accusation which is baseless. We get to know that until Akash’s public proposal to Payal that Arnav never bothered on learning the truth about what happened that night.

Hence it reveals another trait that Arnav never double checks his assumption until he’s faced with a confronting reality. But, in the length of time he’s gotten to know Khushi until that point - the things he tells her is way out of line.

And when he reaches her home, slapping that money on her table and insulting her in front of her family… yeah it’s difficult to watch that. Especially after all the Rabba Ve’s they’ve had and his difficulty & helplessness on learning that this same woman was going to leave for Lucknow forever.

Track Rewrite:

Arnav’s anger is really a projection of his frustration on himself for hurting Anjali and a terrible act of him confirming to himself that money can get him everything - even his sister’s happiness, which he attributes to his ability to get Khushi back into the house using money because he only knows the language of money.

So my problem isn’t much with him… it’s with Khushi’s inaction. This is one of my least favourite scenes in the show because once Khushi stops (mostly) retaliating to Arnav from this point - she never really retaliates ever again. It’s like they kill that intellectual and mature aspect of Khushi who really knew how to debate (ah, don’t I love the resignation scene and her moment with Lavanya, Sim & Pam in the office).

Of course, Arnav and Khushi argue bucket lots in the future but from this moment on they really amp up Khushi’s silent crying and reduce her logical arguments to her emotions. Hence, if there’s anything I would have changed then I would always give Khushi the final word - the logical final word because who doesn’t like a solid rebuttal.

Quick note; Arnav does amend from saying “women like you” to “people like you”. So there’s a shift from his belief of her being a gold digger (and hence, lack of character) to a middle class greedy person (like his uncle).

Head-canon:

I believe she doesn’t give Arnav a chance to gloat that he got her back with his money. Hence, the following exchange takes place in my head…

Arnav: “Mujhe pata tha tum paise ke liye kuch bhi karogi.”

Khushi: “Hum aap se ek baat kahe? Aap ghalat hai.”

Arnav: “No, main tum jaiso ko achi tarah se jaanta hai.”

Khushi: “Haan, shayad aap hum jaiso ko jaante hai. Par humein nahi. Aur rahi baat humara yaha aake kaam karne ka, toh humein nahi lagta ki humein kisi ko bhi safai deni ki zaroorat hai. Khaas kar ki aapko.”

- -

Arnav: “I knew you’d do anything for money,”

Khushi: “You know what? You’re wrong.”

Arnav: “I’m not. I know people like you.”

Khushi: “You may know people like me, but not me. And as far as me choosing to work here, I don’t find it necessary to give anyone any explanation. Especially you.”

Public Service Announcement/Crazy thought:

The old 500 rupee notes are banned post demonetization. So don’t use those notes.

Check out my crazy version of this episode.

#3 “Di isse sorry bolne ki koi zaruri nahi hai. Yeh aapki naukar hai.” (S3, E1/E2)

“Di you don’t have to apologise to her. She’s your servant.”

First Reaction: Oh no you didn’t… you didn’t!

What’s wrong with it:

I think it gets on my nerves how rude he is and that he constantly measures her to her financial and societal status. And all of this is because she pranked him. Like she literally put sugar crystals in his petrol tank, changed his phone ringtone to a silly item number and put juice in his shoes. And he responds to that with some pretty damaging words. He literally tells her that lying and cheating is in her blood.

Yikes! Flashback time Arnav - when she just alluded how he would feel if his sister’s marriage broke he tore her strings, and he legit just insulted her parents. All because she played some childish pranks.

I have to say Khushi does put up a good fight, for most of it, and I love Anjali trying her best to intervene but yes… the way Arnav just flares up here - he crosses quite a few lines (hence I am not at all sorry when Khushi flings the hot tea on him, sorry I’m a sadist). I think his continuous push to show his authority, superiority over her is not really healthy.

And that last Rabba Ve (although the tune is beautiful) which is evoked by her tears, and previously evoked by the impressions of his fingers around her wrist, gives a very wrong message to the public.

Track Rewrite:

I never, ever want to change their essential characteristic. I’m pretty satisfied when he’s literally burned after he’s burned her with his words. Karma always gets him...

But, I really wouldn’t mind a strong, confident, and angry “ENOUGH” from Khushi as well. Or even a quiet, deadly, whisper of an “enough” that would stop his nonsensical tirade. It’s important for him to know when he’s crossed the line, before Khushi starts crying.

Really, it wouldn’t hurt if he was taken aback by her burst of anger or the threat of anger instead of tears (remember the Guesthouse incident… he was turned on by her fury, and then he simmered down and felt guilty - that’s a good cycle to follow when there’s an argument. No, not always the turn on side but the ability to give both the parties anger).

Because of late there seems to be an obsession of male heroes getting the ability to insult their “soulmates” and then stopping because of her tears and then never following it up with an apology. There’s a lot of context in the case of Arnav and Khushi… but I always relish when he’s flabbergasted and silenced by her retaliated anger more than anything else (cue, the resignation scene again).

Head-canon:

Arnav: “Di you don’t have to apologise to her, she’s your servant-”

Khushi: “-enough.” / or / “ENOUGH!”

Arnav and Anjali stand, silenced by Khushi’s anger.

Khushi (to Arnav): “Do yourself and your status a favour. Don’t open your mouth. Especially in front of me. I may fall before your eyes, but you dig yourself a grave.”

Khushi walks away, leaving Arnav stunned.

---

Arnav: “Di isse sorry bolne ki koi zaruri nahi hai. Yeh aapki naukar hai-”

Khushi: “-bas.” / or / “BAS!”

Arnav and Anjali stand, silenced by Khushi’s anger.

Khushi (to Arnav): “Aap apne aap aur apne aukaad pe ek ehsaan kijiye. Apna muh mat kholiye. Khaas karke humare saamne. Shayad hum aapke nazro main gir jaate hai, par aap toh khai khodke apne aap ko giraate hai.”

Khushi walks away, leaving Arnav stunned.

Too harsh? Too unlike Khushi? Sorry, I’ve been watching that scene on repeat way too many times and I may have vented out a bit - it gets crazier when I list out Khushi’s antics!

Public Service Announcement:

Don’t break laptops or play pranks on people who might explode on you. Also, don’t waste mango juice on pranks - it’s delicious consumed. Probably that’s why Arnav was angry - one, he cannot drink mango juice due to his diabetes, and two, she wasted it on shoes!

#4 “Mere liye uss baat ki, ya tumhari, koi ehmiyat nahi hai.” (S3, E40)

“For me, that [the almost kiss], or you, don’t mean a thing to me.”

First Reaction: YES THAT’S WHY YOU KEEP ON THINKING ABOUT IT! LIKE OF COURSE BABUA ALWAYS SAYS THE TRUTH AND SAYS THE THINGS HE MEANS. LIKE OF COURSE YOU DID NOT INITIATE THE KISS OR PRESERVE HER ANKLET IN THE KHUSHI SHRINE OF YOURS! What the fu-dge Babua, literally?

What’s wrong with it:

Actually nothing. I just want to mentally slap him, that’s it. This needs to happen. Because honestly at this point of their relationship if this hadn’t happened - if they had kissed, chosen to break up with their partners (more like Khushi absolutely refusing to get engaged and even end up giving an ultimatum to her family) - then they would technically end up together and the most unhealthy point of their relationship.

Arnav is not at all ready for marriage but he would say yes because it’s the only way Khushi would be with him? Khushi, although in love with Arnav, still really has no actual reach to his depth and emotions.

And really all her fantasies of Arnav are really fantasies, she loves him for what he evokes in her more than what he truly is. He is unable to get her out of his system. It would be a bad place to begin a relationship.

So although nothing is wrong with this scene and it’s like a bitter pill that needs to be swallowed, I still want to say he crossed a line by reinstating that she means nothing to him even though he led her on the entire foreplay of a Diwali. And like… wow, he’s asking what he means to her after he just declared that he’s going to get engaged to his longtime girlfriend who is also now Khushi’s closest friend? Like why… why would Khushi tell you what you mean to her?

Track Rewrite:

I would rewrite Buaji’s pressure on Khushi. It’s regressive, painful and terrible to watch. I know it’s necessary… and if not rewrite this scene then I would just add a scene in the future where Buaji truly apologises for ruining her dearest Sanka Devi’s life. She owed this at least and it would be nice to see elders recognize their own mistakes at times.

Head-canon:

Lavanya is in a happy relationship with NK <3.

Public Service Announcement:

If you have a difficulty in saying what you want to say, enroll in Jalebi Teaches Feelz Expression classes.

#5 “I hope tumhe koi farak nahi padta.” (S4, E8 - S4, E14)

“I hope it means nothing to you / I hope it doesn’t affect you / I hope it doesn’t make a difference to you.” It = me, Arnav, our relationship (or whatever it is).

First Reaction: wherefore art thou asking questions yond thee cannot answ'r?

What’s wrong with it:

This is where Arnav’s moralities really turn grey. Over here any affection, concern or committment to Lavanya is literally forgotten. Almost possessed, Arnav has three goals;

(1) Make Khushi admit what he himself cannot admit - that he, them, everything matters to her (2) Prove to Khushi she won’t find a better match than him, that he’s her equal and he’s the only one who can provide for her and give her everything she desires (3) Make her breakup with her undesirable and unworthy fiance (he hasn’t met him but he just knows that her fiance does not deserve Khushi and I have to agree with Arnav, he’s right) and probably end up getting engaged with him.

The epic part of the Raizada plan is - he doesn’t have an idea what would happen if Khushi actually gives a farak. It’s not that Arnav is right or justified, he just stands the way he has always been - in all his fifty thousands shades of grey (not I’m not a fan of that book, pleej no).

Track Rewrite:

A bit more time for Arnav, Lavanya, his apology and their break up. I love it that he does it instantly, but I also wish he spent more time talking to Lavanya. Just some more Arnav/Lavanya scenes, we really never got to see more of their friendship and her understanding.

As far as everything else, Khushi’s inner battles and silence is really amazing - it’s what gives her dignity and it’s her self preservation. Arnav is redeemed by the fact that he genuinely is Khushi’s soulmate and he can feel her distress and is the only one who accurately senses that Khushi might have been pressured to agree to this marriage. Who knows Khushi cannot live in a loveless marriage. It’s something he can now guarantee, after a whirlwind of denial.

Although his actions are dubious, he’s the only one who senses the lack of joy and passion. So, rather terribly, he tries to put it across that he can fulfill her needs.

This comes to a halt when Payal refuses Akash in the first proposal. It sheds light on his earlier mistake and he realises that he has been wrong about Khushi all along (so he does not bring up her financial/societal status in insults post the event because Khushi really did end up in fashion show by mistake and more than that - her sister’s marriage did break because of him - not until the hate marriage).

And he realises his error with Lavanya that brings him out of this “I need to possess Khushi” phase.

So I liked that we saw the ugliest side of their love, the irrational jealousy and demand of possession. And I love that Khushi did not budge in, no matter how much it hurt.

Head-canon:

Lavanya knew all about it. Hence, she never holds Khushi responsible and instead guides Arnav to making better decisions.

Also, Khushi went through a similar, crazed phase. Except we never see it because Khushi grows increasingly quiet when her heart is suffering. She uses words to express and choses silence when she does not want to acknowledge.

Public Service Announcement:

Remember, it’s a good thing that they show us the unhealthy and healthy phase of a relationship between two people who love each other. This phase was decidedly toxic between Arnav and Khushi - when love is jealous, causes pain, is insensitive, is madness - see the signs and don’t go in deep when it’s at this phase. Every love has its time to mature and grow. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Read Part 2

#ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon #Arnav Singh Raizada #Khushi kumari gupta #tv analysis #analysis #isspyaarkokyanaamdoon #i write too much #my opinion

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eddisfargo · 4 years ago

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CoMC Chapter 117--THE LAST CHAPTER

CHAPTER 117

The Fifth of October

38 minutes

THIS IS IT, YOU GUYS! The LAST chapter!! And look at that name--we’re closing it off with just one last Dumas Countdown™, because this is the deadline at which our sad little son is supposed to kill himself. And/or discover Juliet.

And I am off to listen! Wish me luck!!

OK I’M BACK, and I listened to it last night, and posted my “FIN” interlude, and now I’m finishing this! So bittersweet!!

So…… I don’t know what I was expecting. Hahaha I mean I guess I do, and in some ways it was spot on, but I was kind of expecting Val to pop in and stop Morrel from killing himself, not for MC to just… give him fake poison. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Time to do the thing I’ve been doing where I put the book on doublespeed and skip around!

Also I didn’t do that and it’s days later because I procrastinated this for some reason wanted to give the story some time to marinate so I’m doing something unprecedented and I’m going to post this immediately after I write it. If I’d queued it like normal it would’ve gone up at like 4am today but it’s 10:30am and I still haven’t written it. (11:30am by the time I’m posting it! lol) Every other chapter went up by last night! But hey, LONG ONE INCOMING.

Getting this out of the way in advance so I don’t have to end on this note: Albert is not, after all, ever mentioned again.

So Morrell is sailed into Monte Cristo (the island not the d00d) by a guy who turns out to be Yucky Jacopo. He is a very sad guy because this is the last day of his life (no it isn’t), but he gets all happy when he sees his bff MC. And MC is happy too--he’s all laughy, which Morrel notes as him basically being a different person. But MC’s like “OH YEAH I FORGOT THAT HAPPINESS IS FLEETING” like okaaaaay. And Morrel’s like “well glad that you’re either feigning happiness for my comfort or you’re totally OK with my death which is in like 3 hours.” and MC’s like “I chose c) none of the above.”

And MC’s like “wait you’re not feeling better? Weird!” And he does this WEIRD interrogation of exactly what kind of sad Morrel is and whether he’s “consoled” or not (“consoled” apparently includes being basically heart-dead). Morrel’s happy because MC’s going to give him a nice easy death and he can die in a friend’s arms. And it turns out Max has been kind of hoping for a miracle which is clearly not coming after all (yes it is).

So Max is like “OK you know how you know literally everything and are basically from a higher plane and I trust you absolutely?” and MC’s like “yes that’s correct, go on?” (the higher plane is called “grief” btw).

So it turns out MC’s concerned that Max is… not unhappy enough to be saved, and that would be horrible, because it wouldn’t be proper repentance for his sins. So MC’s like “here have $100 million and now you don’t have to die!” and Max is like “frist of all how DARE yo u” and MC’s like “OK phew just making sure”

So MC hands him the poison and goes “hey I’ll do it too!” and Max is like “but you love people and people love you!” (umm, don’t you have an adorable sister??) “in YOUR case it’d be a crime! No doing that, but I’ll give Valentine your regards. Toodles!” And he just… drinks it. And starts to fade out. Now obviously at this point it’s not real poison, haha. It’s definitely a drug though, because he can’t move or speak and is feeling all wonky. But then VALENTINE WALKS IN!!! Oh my god, she wasn’t dead???? This whole time??? I had NO IDEA!!!

Now I was a bit worried at this point that he’d just… never believe he didn’t die. Like that this was heaven and no one could prove it wasn’t, haha. But that didn’t quite end up happening. So anyway they’re together now, and that’s MC’s atonement. And now MC goes “GIVE ME YOUR GRATITUDE. I NEED IT TO LIIIIIIIVE. POUR YOUR THANKS INTO MY EAR IT IS MY NOURISHMENT.” And Val totally does. But also she calls Haydee her sister, and MC’s like “oh good you love her that’s great because she’s yours now. I’m setting her free and making her a princess again.”

And Haydee’s like “Yeah that’s fine, whatever you say. No I mean that literally. I will do WHATEVER YOU SAY ALWAYS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. IF YOU YOU WANT TO [dramatic swoon motion, I assume] CAST ME OFF, I WILL GO! AND DIE! BECAUSE YOU SAY SO!”

And MC’s like “wait wait wait wait wait are you saying you like… like me or something?”

And Haydee’s like “I’ve literally been telling you that the entire book. I love you like an immediate family member! Where ‘immediate family member’ is a set containing ‘husband’!”

And MC’s like “Oh I guess I can be happy then. Like I said in that one chapter that made Eddis so mad. FYI she’s still not cool with this at all, but it’s whatever.” (What a weird thing for Dumas to write in, amirite?)

So they go off to have their happily ever after or whatever and then Max wakes up and is like “wtf I’m not dead! That traitor!” and picks up a knife to finish the job and Valentine goes “I mean or maybe not do that?” And Max is like whaaaaat? Except also he just accepts it instantly. So they go off into the sunset.

They get a note from MC who, it turns out, just… left. Without saying anything. Off to go marry Haydee, one assumes. And speaking of what he left… his houses and stuff to Morrelentine, for starters. Which should be interesting. They’re actually going back to Paris? The city in which she’s supposed to be buried right now? That won’t be a scandal or anything, haha. But whatever, I guess there’s plenty of scandals in Paris. People will get over it eventually. Maybe. Anyway we did need to get Max back to Julie and Emmanuel. That’ll be a nice little family for Valentine, who’s never known love like they have just all the time.

Also Noirtier’s totally waiting for them in Foghorn Leghorn, where he wants to bless the marriage and presumably live with them forever. MC suggests that Val give her whole fortune to charity and also drops in “oh hey literally everyone else in your family is either dead or lost their damn mind, fyi.” But anyway she won’t really need the fortune now they’ve got Monte Cristo bux--because he’s leaving them the grotto treasure.

So MC suddenly feels humility and remorse and realizes he’s not God, only God is God and he’s just some guy. And why did he let Max suffer so much when Valentine was liTERALLY ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME OMG? Because happy and sad only exist in their contrast to each other, and he needed to be vairy vairy sad before he could properly be vairy vairy happy. You have to die to appreciate life. And apparently all human wisdom is summed up in two words: Wait and hope.

That seemed it should be the last line of the book, but it keeps going with their reactions. Except spoiler, it totally IS the last line of the book when Valentine repeats it. After the two of them wonder if ever see their father/sister again.

WAIT AND HOPE. Audible hopes you have enjoyed this program!

AND SO IT ENDS. (Also that Audible message sounded SO FAST after how slow our narrator talks--I really don’t think this book would be 53 hours read by anyone else, haha. But he did a great job though! Especially at 45% increased speed)

I still can’t believe it’s over! I’m already like halfway through my next audiobook, haha, because it’s actually a reasonably-lengthed book.

EDDISFARGO HOPES YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS PROGRAM.

#Eddis Reads Monte Cristo #count of monte cristo #spoilers #IT ENDED OMG #Thanks so much for following along through all of this #it's been a really really good time #off to check out some memes!

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rkjwooyoung · 4 years ago

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hi hi i’m glen coco, super stoked to be here, please be patient with me as i’m a bit slow and haven’t been in the tumblr rp community in a hot minute phew… but that being said i’m here to introduce my dear character, wooyoung, troublemaker extraordinaire and little piece of s h i t. you can find some of his pages linked below as well as a tl;dr that explains more about him and in more detail than the short about you’ll find in his profile. i’m super excited to rp with all of you so please do give this a like if you’d like me to pop into your ims and ask for plots ♡

profile plots about

he was born on november 5th 1999, a scorpio through and through (i have no idea how rising signs work i’m so sorry). his mother was underage when she gave birth to him and his father, a rich coward, left her alone to deal with the “mess” as he so graciously put it, so she gave wooyoung up for adoption as soon as she was able.

wooyoung spent the first two years of his life in foster care, getting passed from guardian to guardian until an australian couple adopted him shortly before his second birthday.

he had a beautiful enough childhood filled with care and devotion, his foster parents seeing wooyoung as more of a blessing than anything. they decided not to change his name but gave him the moniker ‘martin’ to use as his english name. they wanted wooyoung to be in touch with his culture still and as soon as he was old enough to understand, they enrolled him in korean classes so that he’d be familiar with the language in case he ever wanted to visit the country he came from.

wooyoung was an understanding child, mature for his age and incredibly giggly, full of energy and curious about everything around him but rowdy too in a lot of ways. his parents enrolled him in a dance club in an attempt to control the sudden burst of energy that started to arise within him, but no matter how many classes he’d attend, the rebelliousness in him would prove to be a fire that his parents could never extinguish.

by the time he started highschool, wooyoung’s teenage phase had already had a full start. he’d made friends with the wrong crowd and barely went to school until he’d decided to drop out altogether, leaving his parents stumped at this improptu decision. he’d constantly come home smelling of substances, split lip and bruises all over, not uttering a single word about it to his parents who tried to make sense of what was happening with their son.

a year after wooyoung dropped out of highschool he dropped the bomb on his parents once again: he wanted to find his birth parents. they couldn’t say no to this, not since wooyoung seemed to have made up his mind about it and all and so they offered to pay for a plane ticket and told him to keep in touch as often as he could.

initially wooyoung planned to stay a few weeks, but his trip became longer and longer and when he found his aunt he knew that he had to stay there and dig deeper

and now almost two years have passed and wooyoung made absolutely no development in his search. his korean has gotten better and the culture shock has subsided, he has a roof above his head and a decent job to bring in some funds and he is somewhat content with his life right now unfortunately.

he enrolled into a weekly hiphop class and every once in a while he manages to put a team together to busk on the streets of hongdae. wooyoung also recently discovered an interest for rapping and is spending a lot of time working to become better and to write good verses, he keeps them in a notebook that is on his person at all times (unless he goes to a party in which case he keeps that under lock and key back in his joke of an apartment). he is also obsessed with being in shape and goes to the gym quite a lot.

personality wise….i think the best word to describe wooyoung’s behavior is abrasive. he is not overly friendly from the get go, preferring to have an argument with someone rather than a conversation to get to know each other better. he rarely smiles, unless he is working and absolutely has to show people a nice version of himself. but usually he doesn’t bother with niceties. hooks up with people a lot, has never been in an actual relationship and freaks out if people tell him they have feelings for him because he is a COWARD

he lives in a so called “studio apartment” that is actually more of a storage room in which he barely has space to breathe so he is desperately looking for a roommate, so please hmu if you’d be interested in that!!

his social media presence is.....there....somewhat?? he posts like once every 5 months because he can’t be bothered. has an old android how do you expect his pics to look good...

ok idk what to say anymore but! if you’ve reached this far i want to say i love you and if you have any qs just hmu!

#intro #the rookie guide said to also post if we have any other social medias but man.....i only have instagram and that is personal so #idk i hope this is ok!

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osakaso5 · 5 years ago

Text

Spirit Kaleidoscope: Empty Absolution

Chapter 2 - The First Squadron and the Second Squadron

Chapter Index

Katanashu Station - Corridor

Madoka: ...And that's about all of the station. Phew, I'm beat.

Madoka: It's a big building with lots of facilities, but you'll learn to find your way around in about two or three days, give or take. Are we finally done?

Momiji: Yeah. I'll do the rest of the tour myself.

Madoka: And I don't have to guide you to the Grand Gate near the grounds... right?

Momiji: The Grand Gate... You mean the torii-like structure that connects to the human world? I passed through it on my way here, so I should know where it is just fine.

Madoka: ...Speaking of which, how did you get all the way from there to the reception room? Must've been difficult to find.

Momiji: The shikigami waiting in front of the gate showed me the way.

Madoka: Ah... Now that you mention it, I guess we did leave one there to serve as a guide some time ago.

Momiji: Though as soon as I left the reception room, it turned into a guard.

Madoka: Ahaha! Yeah, it was straddling you on the floor. That was hilarious.

Momiji: ...Why do the shikigami attack people? They're supposed to be under human control. Though I did hear that they're very dedicated to their duties during my training.

Madoka: You're not wrong about them being dedicated. That's why the one you were with stopped you from going anywhere other than the place you were guided to.

Momiji: ...I see. So they're not very smart.

Madoka: They can only follow simple orders, but they're still convenient. They never get tired, and they do their duties diligently. You can even play go with them if you teach them the rules.

Madoka: ...Come to think of it, you were trying to cut through the one from earlier... Can't you use shikigami properly?

Momiji: I know how, I just haven't done it before.

Madoka: Gimme a break. You better learn how to use them even a little bit, because I'm not going to handhold you through everything.

Madoka: The shikigami take care of all our daily chores, like guarding, cooking, and cleaning.

Momiji: ........

Madoka: Hm? Cat got your tongue?

Momiji: No... I'm just realizing how different this is from the world I used to live in...

Madoka: No kidding. Over there, it's all political tension and infighting, and over here, it's swords, yokai, and supernatural realms...

Madoka: This place is like a horror movie. But it's still more peaceful than being a soldier in the capital.

Madoka: I didn't know a world like this existed before I got assigned to the katanashu, either.

Momiji: Yokai, huh...

Momiji: Do they really exist? I haven't even gotten to go to that city they supposedly live in, so I'm still not entirely convinced...

Madoka: They do.

Momiji: ...You've seen them?

Madoka: Seen them, talked to them, touched them. They're flesh and blood here, just like you and me.

Momiji: ........

Momiji: Then, that really was...

Madoka: ...Hm? Did you say something?

Momiji: Ah, no...

Madoka: .....? Well, whatever.

Madoka: Never mind that, you said you had training before coming here? Did they tell you what your duty is as a katanashu?

Momiji: Yeah. Just the basics of it, though.

Momiji: "The katanashu are the capital's top secret organization. Its purpose is to monitor the Yokai of Hikagemachi, and it has two primary duties."

Momiji: "Controlling the yokai's travels to the human realm, and making sure humans lost in Hikagemachi are returned home safely."

Madoka: Wow, that was perfect! I've got nothing left to teach you. Can I go back to my room now?

Momiji: ........

Madoka: Geez, don't glare at me like that... Learn to take a joke...

Momiji: By the way, I heard that we were to use our abilities to erase the memories of any human who wanders into Hikagemachi.

Madoka: Yeah. If we let them blab about their trip to the yokai world, the whole country would be in chaos.

Madoka: Way back when the katanashu didn't even exist... It might've been more common for yokai to live in the human world.

Madoka: A long time ago, they lived so close to us that humans who wanted a piece of yokai power could worship them as gods, or even enslave them using contracts.

Madoka: That stuff's banned nowadays. I guess the yokai got sick of being used by humans, and moved here.

Momiji: Getting lost in another world... It's like being spirited away.

Madoka: Especially if you've never been here before. Like I said before, the human and yokai worlds basically mirror each other.

Madoka: Even our station should have its equivalent in the human world, though we can't see it.

Momiji: Maybe they're on different wavelengths, or something... Like electromagnetic waves that you can't see with the naked eye?

Madoka: Maybe? I don't know the specifics, and I don't really care.

Madoka: In any case, it's not actually uncommon for people to wander in here by accident.

Momiji: ...I see. So that's what they need the katanashu for.

Madoka: Hmm... Is that all there is to it..?

Madoka: It's not rare for humans to end up here, but it's still only around 4 to 5 people a year.

Momiji: ...Then what do the katanashu do when they're not taking care of lost humans?

Madoka: Nothing, really?

Momiji: ...Nothing?

Madoka: Yeah. Nothing. Ah. I guess Commander Kasane plays games? With playing cards and stuff.

Momiji: Playing cards...

Madoka: And hanafuda, too.

Momiji: Hanafuda...

Madoka: If only we could use phones. We're not even allowed to bring electronics here. Not that I could get a signal here.

Madoka: Can you believe that's not possible in this day and age!? I can't get in touch with girls! I can't check my social media timelines!

Madoka: It feels like I've been kicked out of the real world... I don't even know what I'm living for in this cryptic realm.

Momiji: .......

Madoka: Sigh, I wanna go home soon... It's getting to a point where I'd gladly get fired, and I don't mind resigning whenever.

???: Cowardly as always, Madoka.

Madoka: Ugh..! ...Commander Hanabusa. My humblest apologies..!

Hanabusa: If you wish to return to the capital so badly, I'll gladly have you repatriated together with a report letting them know that you're abandoning your post.

Madoka: I-I was only joking, of course. A new member has joined our squadron, so I thought I'd make him feel more at home..

Hanabusa: Hmph. Your mouth still runs endlessly.

Momiji: .......

Madoka: Allow me to introduce you. This is Momiji, who'll be in the second squadron starting today.

Momiji: My name is Momiji. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Hanabusa: Right.

Madoka: Momiji, this is Commander Hanabusa. He was sent by the capital to be the katanashu's superior officer.

Madoka: He serves as an inspector outside of his military duties. Make sure to treat him with the appropriate respect.

Momiji: Yes.

Hanabusa: His conduct is fine, but he's arrived a bit late.

Madoka: Well, uh... We had a bit of a mixup...

Hanabusa: More like negligence. This is Kasane's second squadron we're talking about. It's hard to imagine you doing your jobs properly.

Madoka: Ahaha...

Hanabusa: You must've been very unlucky to have been assigned to this group of slackers.

Momiji: Not at all. I will abide by any decisions the military makes for me.

Hanabusa: ...Hmm.

???: Commander Hanabusa, are you here!?

Hanabusa: What is it, Aoi? It's rare to see you so flustered.

Aoi: We've received a message from the capital, and... The general has something to tell you directly.

Hanabusa: ...The general? Hand me the message.

Aoi: Yes.

Rustle...

Hanabusa: .......

Madoka: Eep... The general's practically at the top of the chain! What would a head honcho like him want with the katanashu..?

Momiji: .......

Aoi: ...I haven't seen you before.

Momiji: I'll be working in the second squadron starting today. You can call me Momiji.

Aoi: ...A newbie, huh. I'm Aoi, of the first squadron. Nice to meet you. Since we're in different teams, I doubt we'll interact much.

Momiji: Yeah.

Madoka: By the way, the first squadron has one more member. But now that I think about it, I haven't seen him all morning...

Aoi: He's probably wandering around Hikagemachi again. Or maybe he's wasting his time loitering around that ramen shop?

Madoka: Again? He's a weird one, for sure.

Aoi: What a disgrace... I just hope he doesn't cause trouble again.

Aoi: I don't want anything to do with his problems, even if we are in the same squadron.

Momiji: "Again"..?

Madoka: Whoa... That's cold, dude. He's still your senior, isn't he?

Aoi: He's someone who caused so many problems in the capital that he was demoted twice. Senior or not, I find it hard to want anything to do with him.

Madoka: Yeah, but still.

Momiji: ...What kind of trouble did this person cause..?

Madoka: Who knows. I'm not sure, myself. Why don't you just ask him?

Momiji: Right...

Aoi: That aside, what did the general's message say, Commander?

Hanabusa: .......

Momiji: ......?

Momiji: What? Why do I feel like Commander Hanabusa's glaring at me..?

Hanabusa: ...It wasn't anything too important.

Hanabusa: The general was only reminding us of the soldiers' grave we live in. It was quite vile.

Momiji: Soldiers' grave..?

Aoi: What does that mean, sir..?

Hanabusa: You... Momiji, right?

Momiji: ......? Yes.

Hanabusa: Here's your first lesson from me. Don't get carried away, thinking you're any better than the rest of us.

Momiji: ........

Hanabusa: I don't know how they treated you in the capital, but I'm in charge here. If I catch you doing anything out of order, know that you'll be punished for it.

Hanabusa: Don't get too comfortable, and focus on your duties. Understand?

Momiji: ........ I understand.

Madoka: Whoa...

Hanabusa: Madoka, I'm saying this to you, as well. Pass this message to your commander too, while you're at it.

Madoka: ...Yessir!

Hanabusa: Let's go, Aoi.

Madoka: ...Ugh, I'm soooo tired..! At least they're finally gone... Those dudes give me the creeps..!

Madoka: Commander Hanabusa and Aoi are too goddamn serious. They're always looking down on the second squadron. Some call him Commander Ogre, but that's not exactly a popular nickname.

Momiji: He was pretty harsh on me. I don't remember offending him in any way, though...

Madoka: ...Pfft. Guess it was hate at first sight?

Momiji: Seems that way.

Madoka: You don't seem to mind.

Momiji: I'm used to it.

Madoka: ...To being hated? Maybe you should try being less anti-social, then?

Momiji: I make sure not to waste energy on useless things. No matter how I deal with other people, it's always the same.

Madoka: Hmm?

Madoka: Well, Commander Hanabusa's basically always like that. He's constantly on edge because he's such a glory hound.

Momiji: Glory hound? How come?

Madoka: Because he wants to return to his post in the capital. Unlike the rest of us, he's still working for them. That's why he's always showing off what an elite he is.

Madoka: Seems like he was well on his way to the top, but as you could see, he's stubborn and not too flexible. Some say he was shipped off to the katanashu because he was such a pain to deal with.

Madoka: Not that there's any glory to be found around here.

Momiji: .......

Madoka: At least the two of us should more or less get along, yeah? I get tired when things are too tense, and I don't want any trouble.

Momiji: Agreed. Too much tension will get in the way of our duties.

Madoka: Haha. You really are a serious guy. Welcome to the katanashu again, Momiji.

Momiji: Yeah.

Madoka: ...Is this finally enough info for you? Aagh, I'm beat! I'm gonna go to my room and take a nap.

Momiji: ...Hold on. Aren't you going to show me around the city?

Madoka: Huh? The city?

Momiji: I want to see the city for my duties' sake. And there's something I'm curious about...

Madoka: Ugh... Only a weirdo would want to go to a city swarming with yokai voluntarily.

Madoka: Not that I'll stop you. Wait a sec. Uh, I think it's around here...

Momiji: .....?

Madoka: Ah, found it! ...Here, you can have this.

Momiji: A piece of paper..? It looks pretty old...

Madoka: It's a map of Hikagemachi. Use it. You'll be fine by yourself as long as you have that, right?

Momiji: ...Huh?

Madoka: Like I said, I'm off duty. I was up all night playing five-in- a-row, so I've been sleepy all morning... Yawn...

Momiji: Five-in-a-row...

Madoka: Alright, you're free to go. We don't exactly have a curfew, so come back whenever you're done scoping the city out.

Madoka: Seeya~.

Momiji: ........

To be continued...

#idolish7 #spirit kaleidoscope #translation #event story #other translations

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