#petty anon
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shaunashipman · 6 months ago
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it’s your petty anon again and i am bathing in twitter BoBs tears as they realize tommy is going to be at the hospital to comfort his boyfriend. 🥰🥰🥰
hello again my fellow petty bitch
i too am loving their little meltdown. they're all screaming "breakup! he's there to break up with buck! they're gonna breakup!!" as if trying to convince themselves. like, it's most likely bobby in the hospital, do they really think tim is gonna have tommy break up with buck while his dad's in the hospital, when they might not even know his status yet? wait, what am i saying, they think tommy is the devil, he would 100% do that in their minds.
they accuse us of making everything about bucktommy, meanwhile they make every bts and promo we get about how they're gonna break up, even when neither of them are there. like saying the scene with hen and maddie and chim in the promo is them talking to buck. do they forget that hen and karen have their own plotline next week, that it makes sense for maddie and chim to help with? no because every aspect about this show is about their ship
anyway, we get adorable bucktommy content next week in the award ceremony, and tommy is gonna comfort buck in the finale, and they're gonna spend the hiatus making love with their curls free
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lovelykhaleesiii · 1 year ago
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Can you for once in your life be normal about people not liking the same shit you do ? Blocking isn’t as effective as one would hope and your bullshit turns up in those tags regardless. You write porn to jack off to which is why it’s popular, but if someone doesn’t want to view it that doesn’t make them weird??? Sorry if not wanting to see someone constantly screeching about breastfeeding kinks isn’t to everyone’s taste
bitchass wtf are you on about? like literally wtf are you actually on about? since when have I force fed anyone to read my fics??? since when have I ever judged someone for not liking the same shit as me??? each to their own, I really don’t give af.
I’m not the first to write about this shit & definitely not the fucking last…
if you want to tag along tag along (cool) if not, that’s cool too. I’m not that fucking pressed about people needing to like my fics. that’s not the reason I write fics, and if you think so, ✨newsflash✨.
what fucking pisses me off is pussy ass people like you sending in hateful, petty comments like the previous (and on anon, I might fucking emphasise) just because you’re picky or have such an “acquired” taste. I tag my fics with with the relevant tags necessary for people to find what they might be looking for/interested in. if it ain’t for you, keep scrolling by all means. literally all you need to do is keep scrolling, but I suppose that’s a lot of effort too, huh? bitchass block me and get the fuck outta here, boy is there a ton of shit that’ll set you off on Tumblr with that attitude, don’t be a haterrrrrrr.
and by the sounds of it, it seems you’ve been onto me for some time…. damn, are you that pressed about my existence on this hellsite that you suddenly feel so entitled to send hateful messages. keep yapping and complaining, I really don’t give a fuck.
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pink-strawberry-kissess · 1 year ago
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ima just call myself petty anon ig 😭
i’m petty about aeon in the way i like aeon so much i get petty when aeon says shit about it i dont like and it’s not like an over time thing like as soon as i started shipping it i’ve been hella protective over it 😭
oh I see I see
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yeah i guess uhhhhhhhh i just hope that you do not let it take over your emotional and mental state. i get that we all simp for characters and ships and shows and stuff but it's important to touch grass.
i still love aeon a lot (obviously) but i don't like it control my life (like i used to lol)
people are gonna not like aeon and there's not much you can do about it. all you gotta do is curate your space!
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egophiliac · 1 month ago
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do skully have pokemon?
Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.
(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)
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#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(sorry for leaving anon off for a while! i've gotten a rash of spam and i'm gonna wait it out a couple days before turning it back on)#also apologies for the rest of this not really being pokemon related#i don't have anything right now for part 4 of the event so i'm gonna use this space to go off about it#because. oh man.#a sad lack of the scullsman but a FEAST of everyone else#gotta love malleus and leona uniting in the common goal of hunting trey down for trying to game their whiny pettiness#(trey doesn't know what to do with someone he can't easily distract with cake)#also further confirmation that malleus WILL kill a small child and leona WILL point and laugh the whole time#also sebek's plans revolving around what he knows he's good at: screaming extremely loudly and hoisting nerds#and let us not forget what i consider to be the crowning jewel#which is jamil figuring out IMMEDIATELY where scully has taken his prisoners#only for everyone else to just. literally refuse to do anything about it.#jamil just standing there and going 'WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! WE CAN JUST! GO GET THEM!!!! WHYYY AREN'T WE GOING'#visibly losing his entire mind and it's beautiful#top 10 twst event moments honestly#also some delightful character consistency from jade being all#'actually my dicking around is a sign of my immense trust in your abilities to get things done :)'#'but also consider: there are currently two housewardens chasing a child'#'alternately angrily screaming poetry and begging them not to sue'#'and if you will pardon my city of flowers...there is no fucking way i'm missing that'#lock shock and barrel did not sign up for this. how did these idiots turn out to be somehow weirder than the three of them.#twisted wonderland must be a frightening place indeed
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speremint · 1 month ago
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don't your catgirl
Y'all can't convince me Valen doesn't have a streak of bastard in her
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bixels · 2 months ago
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Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal
Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.
#ask me#anon#if you wanna know why i like rarijack more i just think they're a healthier depiction of a domestic and longterm relationship#appledash gives me the vibes of gfs that'll eventually break up#because from s1 to s8 their relationship and communication with each other on serious things never really matures or grows#they were competitive and petty in s1 and they were competitive and petty in s8#arguably worse cuz in that s8 episode their dynamic becomes so toxic they almost cause a student under their care to drown#both of them have a superiority complex that's constantly conflicting with each other and it never really gets resolved#but with rarijack there's a very clear arc of development you can follow in their character#and multiple episodes show how they'll argue and eventually come back together and apologize and communicate and work to better things#you can watch them grow to like and understand each other. in s1 aj scoffs and makes fun of rarity's work in fashion#but in a later season (after some conflict) aj says that she doesn't understand fashion but she knows it means a lot to rarity so it means#a lot to her too. and that's what love is to me. “it didn't mean anything to me until it meant something to you”#it's genuinely really sweet and i'd argue rarijack /feels/ the most romantic out of all the main 6 ships. through arguing they grow closer#which is how it's supposed to be in relationships that last! you argue to work out your interpersonal problems and understand each other#(which is why it's genuinely kinda baffling to me that appledash ended up being canonically married because they never gave me those vibes)#but it really doesn't matter. they're cartoon horses! have fun with them
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lovesickeros · 4 months ago
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zhongli and neuvillette fighting over their reader 🤭🤭
scary dog privilege wherever you go, draconic courting gestures that would scare any regular person, they send each other deadly glares the moment you turn away,
stealing your clothes to just get a whiff of your scent, marking their territory all over your house - making it a battlefield basically, neuvillette (in my hc) is cooler and zhongli is warm so the cuddles are always so comfy ☺️😍,
they give you anything you want - you don't even have to lift a finger, they make you travel between the nations a lot though 😒 sooo clingyyy, extra gentle in their dragon forms as to not squish you, don't even get me started on the size difference 😍😍
just a little thought 🤭☺️
- 🐈‍⬛
Neuvi being colder is so real and canon. I see him as being colder + a lot more lithe, kinda lanky with smaller but sharper canines versus Zhongli who's warmer and a bit shorter then Neuvi + bulkier with bigger but not as sharp canines.
They've also got very different habits – Zhongli is very prideful not just of himself but his nation. He'll personally give your a tour and purposely drag it out as long as he can. Complimenting Liyue is basically complimenting him, checkmate Neuvi. Especially if he convinces you to try on some local Liyue fashion. Harmless and just a nice gift to anyone else but Neuvi sees it for what it is (since your wearing something from Liyue, technically wearing something of his. He loves his technicalities when it comes to staking a claim over you). Adds salt to the wound by touching you in totally innocent ways like to adjust you towards something he wants to show you or accidently brushing against you when he takes the bags of spoils he's practically drowning you in but really he's just making sure his scent sticks. He's just a sweet, nice gentleman with absolutely no ulterior motives trust.
Neuvillette does love Fontaine, but his habits are more about himself then the nation. He'll take you around if you ask or if the idea strikes him, but you'll probably stay around the making city area or the opera house specifically. He enjoys more personal time with just you and him then anything else. He values the immaterial to the material. Zhongli spoils you with gifts, but Neuvi tries to offer quality time irregardless of physical gifts (though he still gives them just not to the extent of Zhongli). He'll take you to see different operas if that's to your fancy, or leverage a bit of his authority to maybe see a few films since those seem to be hitting off in Fontaine recently. Bet that creaky old archon doesn't have those huh. He feels awkward if you want to watch a trial, but he'll reluctantly agree because. well. it's you. just don't wave or anything he's trying to work and he just Really wants to see you smile at him like that again and it makes him lose his train of thought. gets custom clothes designed by Chiori to replace your clothes from Liyue because they smell of Zhongli and it makes him sulky + he likes to match.
G-d forbid these two are in the same room as you because it's a war of attrition at that point. Constant accidental brush of the hand against your shoulder or elbow but it's just them trying to get rid of the others scent. they are side eyeing each other behind your back while being all smiles whenever your looking. If it's hot and you lean into Neuvi more he's practically GLOWING. not even smug he's just absolutely smitten and happy to be of service. immediately takes off his gloves and presses his hands to your face asking if your okay and if you want to go back with him. if it's cold out and you seek out Zhongli more hes smug as hell beneath the calm veneer. Offers you his coat and stay as physically close to you as he can under the pretense of being worried you'll catch a cold if he doesn't warm you up.
don't even get me started on your house either because you probably have tons of gifts from both of them accumulated everywhere. if Neuvi sees you use a tea set from Zhongli suddenly he had a fantastic gift idea he thought you'd like. he even got some tea included with it so why don't you let him make you some? Zhongli sees you using a goblet Neuvi gave you (totally a coincidence it's similar to his) and suddenly you have 27 square cups in your cabinets that you have no idea where they came from. if the goblet is mysteriously missing oh well. who knows :]
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andorerso · 1 year ago
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ANDOR APPRECIATION WEEK 2023 | @andorappreciation
↳ Day 4: Favorite Planets/Settings/Parallels: Favorite callbacks to Rogue One
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dukeofdelirium · 6 months ago
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zvtarians when Katara isn’t used as a prize for Zuko’s redemption arc and doesn’t fall to her knees and suck Zuko’s dick the second he isn’t a racist cunt toward her and instead actually loves Aang, someone who is her best friend and a fellow genocide survivor who understands her trauma and treats her with utmost respect
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allastoredeer · 12 days ago
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I love how Rosie is 100% encouraging Alastor's spite lol. And Alastor just being like "well I distinctly remember requesting to be EXEMPT from this meeting, but SOMEONE denied it. "
Rosie is Alastor's enabler.
Alastor is Rosie's enabler.
It's actually bad that Alastor came back, because now they're going to get nothing done at these meetings. They're bad influences on each other.
And Alastor isn't letting Carmilla off the hook for denying his exempt. He's shedding his velvet. That's a very private thing :C
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grimesgirll · 8 months ago
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can you do rickyl x reader where she gets jealous and gives them attitude🙏
ninety-eight hours it’s been since rick and daryl left for what was supposed to be a “dry” supply run.
another hour and you think you’re going to simply die from the wanton ache in your cunt and the paranoia creeping with every passing minute.
you hate when they go away. it’s the worst. but it’s what your lovers have to do if your community wants amoxicillin and food that‘s not canned peas or tuna. the only bigger drag than you losing out on a few nights of getting the stress fucked out of you and mornings with tender wake up calls; that cool new girl went with them.
just a few weeks ago, daryl and aaron had discovered a former phd student wandering the outskirts of shenandoah national park. the twenty-eight year old had been walking from her biology program in new jersey in an attempt to reach her family’s house in norfolk, virginia.
back to alexandria, she brought a backpack, some stories, and a green haze to your vision.
within a week, you’re wishing daryl and aaron hadn’t brought her back. the worst part is that you really can’t speak on it with anyone because you’ll sound like a jealous bitch, which you kinda are. it’s not your fault that you don’t know shit about how to age a deer or microorganisms or macroinvertebrates or interesting biology major jargon that gets rick and daryl’s attention.
you didn’t finish your degree. the apocalypse had made sure of that. yeah, this girl’s thesis defense had been cancelled but she already had two degrees and a fucking certificate.
yeah, daryl doesn’t have a degree. but this girl’s family grew up hunting - proud turkey hunters, she’d specified after daryl asked her about her turkey shotgun. they hit it off so well that she’d even gone on a few hunts with him. you refused to eat the pheasant she shot. when she came into your kitchen proudly touting a half butchered boar, you simply narrowed your eyes, turned to rick next to you, and asked if you should take chances eating wild boar meat after the prison.
let’s just say you can’t stand her.
it’s not rational and it’s surely not healthy but you can’t bring yourself to address it in any meaningful way. all you can do is smolder. and that’s exactly what you do when rick and daryl come through the gates, fully engaged in a conversation with her.
“find what you need?”
you’re walking up to the three as soon as they pass you. rosita had been chatting you up and you assumed that your boys would come over and greet you with at least a kiss but no! they’re walking past you with her. the perfect, perpetually prepared girlscout that makes you want to tear your hair out.
two twin pairs of blue eyes find yours and daryl’s eyes are overflowing with longing, but before they can even say hello, she’s in your face, greeting you and handing off some seed packets she’d found
what a bitch.
almost turning your nose at her, you instead decide to accept the packets without a thank you. you make a beeline straight for rick, leaning up on your tippy toes to capture his tongue, wrapping an arm around his neck to lower him into your embrace. every ounce of waiting and wanting is spilled onto rick’s lips. you kiss him a bit too fervently for a welcome back kiss at your community’s gates. it’s an abuse of power on your part.
it’s dramatic. it’s theatrical.
it’s just as bad when you do the same thing to daryl, attaching yourself to his side as the newest addition to alexandria clears her throat and continues on about the supplies they managed to secure on their “dry” run. specifically, some supplies for her to try to solo it again - but this time - finally land in norfolk. you know that rick and daryl were out there - away from you - for more than just some glorified grad student’s get home bag but every second that she drones on has you yearning for her to pack her bags tonight.
“so, once my wrist is fully healed. i’ll be out of here.”
“thank god!”
rick’s eyebrow raises and if daryl could go quieter, he would.
the walk back to your house alone in alexandria is awkward.
the scene you’d caused had rick giving you a look that told you if you didn’t quit digging now, you’d end up in a trench of conflict. not just being at odds with the newcomer, but rick’s lack of patience for this kind of behavior from you. that doesn’t stop you from starting again as soon as they enter the bedroom.
“neither of you came over to say hi to me when you got in the gates.”
it’s the first thing out of your mouth once the door has shut. your arms are folded over your chest and you’re glaring at them like you didn’t just put on a grand display and snub the girl staying down the street. eyes focused on them, you’d be hard pressed to tell that you even could even name the other girl.
“so you’re gonna skim past talkin’ to her like that?” rick’s giving you that same you can’t be serious look he sends your way when you’re brattin’ out like this.
“i said my thoughts out loud. sorry.”
“ain’t you got no filter?”
“no, daryl,” you reply, looking up at them from the soft bed. your hands dig into the mattress. “that overnight “dry” run turned into the entire weekend and the first thing you guys do is stroll in with her and not say hi.”
“why do you care so much? she’s leavin’ soon.” daryl reminds you, fighting a yawn.
you frown. “you guys relate to her more.”
rick guffaws and daryl’s eyes are rolling.
“what? you think she’s flirtin’ knowin’ how to catch herself a fuckin’ meal.”
“but she’s older than me.”
“not by much, honey,” rick dismisses your concern.
the downtrodden look on your face is unmistakable. you’re quiet, considering how to justify your jealousy when you feel a tear coming on. daryl notices when you try to blink it away and is the first to drop the bone the two were picking with you. he’s next to you, a hand on your waist and your thigh, and that’s when you exhale in frustrated, exasperation, “you were gone for four days and you couldn’t even say hi to me.” you’re shaking your head, knowing it’s dumb. “its not nice but it just got me so angry.” you almost omit this last part but the borderline law enforcement stare you’re receiving from rick has you candid. “i just needed you guys to come up and kiss me - or something after not knowing if you were alive or not. the run went too long. got me worked up.”
“and you think you deserve to get fucked first thing after pullin’ that shit?”
you bite your lip. rick can read you too well. really, there’s nothing to discuss.
did you really think they would lose interest in you that easily? or is this just a ploy to work them up too? to cash in on the good, hard fucking you know they’d subject you to if you turned up your brat factor for their return. it’s downright devious but who are they to deny the smoldering opportunity falling in their laps?
“can you be a good girl?”
you nod, not breaking eye contact as he slips his thumb into your mouth while undoing his pants with the other hand. “maybe we can get this to do somethin’ useful, huh?”
daryl stays quiet but the smirk as he watches you lick rick clean tells you that he has an idea. he’s full of ideas, most of which involve stuffing you full in some capacity but just from bud reaction to the scene that unfolded, you know he’s in a teasing mood. too feverous and on the same page as rick about your jealousy to give you the fucking you want straight away.
there’s probably a bit more of explaining that you need to do but when rick says, “hands and knees,” you’re forgetting all about the better educated woman and getting into place on the plush bed. the brief scowl on your face can’t be missed but it doesn’t matter because you automatically open your mouth wider once you’re faced with rick’s too-big-for-your-mouth cock.
you’re so focused on rick that the stripe being licked down your slit from behind has you choking on rick in surprise. the constable groans at your tight throat clenching around him.
“missed this pussy,” daryl’s gruff voice against your cunt brings you back to reality. the reality where he’s flicking his tongue over your already aching, swollen bud.
so that’s what that tear was, you deduce, suddenly aware of your missing panties.
“you’re overthinkin’,” rick says says with a hand in your hair. “you belong to us. we belong to you.”
“yeah, no new girl’s gonna come between us.” daryl assures you, breathing lust into your cunt. “gotta get out of yer’ fuckin’ head.” daryl chimes, not even giving his tongue a break when it wasn’t on your clit. “i finally get someone with a brain to go huntin’ with and your first thought is that i wanna fuck ‘em.”
rick smirks down at you, mouth too stuffed full of cock to deny any of it. he runs a hand through your hair and eases up on your throat, growing impossibly harder at the sight of his thick dick against your glossy, shining lips. a hand finds your chin and his cock falls from your mouth. “you better not forget that you’re made for us. don’t want no one else but you.” his cock jumps at the way your pupils grow from his lust induced speech. “you’re ours. that pussy’s in the shape of our cocks. beautiful brain’s all wrapped up in us, like we’re wrapped up in you.”
you could cream at his words. any minute you’re going to on daryl’s tongue. back as forth, the younger man is sliding his tongue all over your clit. he even dips the appendage inside of you to tongue around and spur rick into thrusting his cock back into your mouth so he can enjoy your needy whimpers around him.
“so fuckin’ good for us, baby. like she never could be.” rick huffs, chocolate curls falling back with his head.
all you can do is moan around him in response. daryl doesn’t let you process rick’s words because you’re too busy processing the overload of pleasure he’s inducing in you. you writhe back against him, canting your hips into his mouth just as rick twitches in yours.
your hips are bucking and you almost fall forward on rick when daryl triggers your toe curling release, savoring in the ooze as he laps your weeping cunt. tears well at your waterlines with rick’s cock bulging in the cheeks of your mouth. those tears spill with the rush of energy in your cunt. spasming and clenching, leaking onto the devoted tongue seeing you through.
“hope this holds you over,” rick remarks, pulling his still aching cock out of your mouth while glancing over at daryl happily cleaning up your release with his tactful tongue. “‘cause you’re gonna’ be sore after tonight, darlin’. whatever you need to get it in that pretty little head of yours that you’re ours, and don’t need to worry about anything or anyone else.”
as your first orgasm of the night fades and the shaking in your legs pauses, there’s a post-climax clarity that hits you like a truck. you’d be face down on the bed trying to pretend you didn’t exist if not for the hands eliciting the most vibrant whinnies from you, twisting your pleasure receptors like play-doh. you’re not far from coming again and that’s the only thing saving you from the shame of how you treated the newcomer. it wasn’t kind. wasn’t rational. treating her so poorly because of how well she worked with your men. greek gods killed insolent hosts who disrespected their guests, what would rick and daryl do to you for snubbing one of the last polite people on this rotting rock?
being well rounded isn’t a crime, you remind yourself.
and your men don’t need to remind you again with words how much you mean to them. that your jealousy is unfounded but they want to kiss you better anyway. it doesn’t matter if it takes all night, they’ll be reminding you exactly where and who they want to be with.
with you being made for them, how could they want anyone else?
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shaunashipman · 5 months ago
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hiii it's petty anon again. i've been trying to focus on the positive but i simply cannot keep quiet on the rallying cry about buck needing to branch out and explore his sexuality. it's such biphobic BS and i'm so glad you keep calling it out as such.
what, exactly, do they think buck is doing with tommy, if not trying new things with someone of the same gender for the first time? how is that not 'exploring his sexuality'?
i know they actually mean they want him to revert to buck 1.0 and far be it from me to slut shame anyone because that was super hot at the time! but have they not watched the same show as we have and watched buck grow and mature in a way that finds him looking for a more steady relationship with someone he loves? he's not the same 27 y.o. rookie he was back then. he's settling into the man he's become and has a new and surprising and exciting relationship with a man who understand him and the requirements of his career.
(and as you and others have said, there would be no cries for exploring if he had his first same-sex relationship with you know who. personally i think they're fuming about buck having a lot of first queer experiences with someone else and i wish they would just stop being cowards filled with faux concern for buck and say what they really mean.)
heyyy petty! yeah, I've been focusing on the positive too, and the fandom's been great about it, there's been so little negativity in the tag the past few days
but a girl's gotta eat and I live off pettiness soooo
every time I hear that buck needs to "explore his bisexuality" I want to ask them what, precisely, they mean. explain to me in explicit detail how you want buck to explore. cause there are in fact many ways he can explore it, none of which have to do with who he dates/sleeps with, but we all know what they mean.
and as for the buck 1.0 "slut phase", that was actually a whole lotta tell and very little show. we only saw him with 2 girls before he started talking with abby, and with one of them he tried to make it more and the girl didn't want to. not saying he didn't sleep around a lot, which is fine, but I get the feeling there's a bit of unreliable narration going on.
buck wants a deep, serious relationship, that's literally what he's been wanting since s1, it's one of his main storylines, his search for a real, meaningful, romantic connection. it may have been relegated to the background in some seasons (like s3), but it's continuously been something he's been searching for.
so to say you want him to start sleeping around with everything that moves just because a new avenue has opened up for him is biphobic, plain and simple. people who are saying this are putting harmful biphobic stereotypes above the actual character
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lovelykhaleesiii · 1 year ago
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girl you have actual issues 💀 never seen someone so consistently miss the point
and I’ve never met anyone so fucking delusional and self-entitled but hey, that’s life!!!!!
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louferrignojrofficial · 1 month ago
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eddie heterosexual diaz sitting there with a magazine that seems to be about women's swimsuits tho?? 😭😂
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actually hilarious, swimsuit models whilst his best friend is shirtless next to him. but also buddie canon in the next episode too
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kooki914 · 11 days ago
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I hope we get to see Asgore fight the cyber queen bitch.
It’d be funny
No <3
Have this wholesomeness instead
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seiwas · 1 month ago
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hello sel!!! hru doing??
The ask game is super fun! How about Gojo + vindictive.
I hope u hv had a lovely day 🫶
zuro anon
zuro anon hello!! thanks for sending in a prompt!! i'm doing good 🥺 spending this lil vacay at home, mostly 🥺 and happy to be back writing 🥺 i hope you have the loveliest weekend 💗
contains: non-canon, childhood enemies to lovers (ish), (modern) arranged marriage, reader wears a braid and dresses
gojo + vindictive
you hate gojo satoru. you have ever since you were 5.
he's a bully―a real cocky one at that, with no regard or remorse for how his actions affect those around him.
on the day before your 6th birthday, right as your parents gathered together for the annual countdown, he gobbled up the entire plate of your favorite milk cakes before you could even take a bite. this marked the start, the beginning of a vengeance stewing inside of you.
at the age of 8, when you first learned how to do your own braids, he would tug at them, pull them free and unravel all your hard work for the past hour. you used to chase him for it, yell "satoru!" with all the strength your little lungs could muster and he would merely laugh and run faster.
the name "satoru," you've learned, must be synonymous with "sabotage," because it's all he's ever done. he threw the flower geto suguru handpicked for you straight to the ground, and purposely splashed gutter water all over the white dress you intended to wear on your first date.
not to mention, he's always rubbed in the fact that he's better than you, at everything―dangled all his accomplishments in front of you as if he knew they were just centimeters out of reach.
gojo satoru is solely responsible for tainting your childhood memories a miserable cerulean blue.
so, when your parents sit you down one day and tell you that you'll have to marry him, you feel transported in that moment, to each and every instance gojo has ever wronged you. it flips through your mind like a montage of flashbacks in a movie.
it's both surprising and not. your families have always been partners, in everything―business, education, and now you guess, life as well. you hate gojo's guts but this creates an opportunity you don't think can result from anything else.
so, sure, you'll agree to the marriage―only to make his life a living hell.
"hello, fiancée," he greets you, for the first time since the agreement.
you don't do anything to hide your disgust, face scrunching up as you spit out, "shut up, satoru."
the wedding planning is horrendous―at least, you hope it is for him. you pick out every single cake flavor you know he hates and choose the brightest venue possible for the event. the lights you pick for the afterparty are strobe lights, and you make sure to do multiple test runs just to play with his eyes. it doesn't occur to you that the solution to his light sensitivity is simple: just a plain pair of shades.
you wear plumping lip gloss on your wedding day, just so his lips burn when you have to kiss him. but gojo is either extremely numb or just good at faking it, because all he does is grin as he whispers quietly before parting, "spicy."
in preparation for your married life, you create a ledger of some sort―a book of accounts housing every single thing gojo has done wrong. you write down your plans to get him back for each of them, a list of pranks and inconveniences to make him regret ever messing with you all those years ago.
at half a year of marriage and 25 years of knowing each other, he casually tells you the big "i love you," but you're sure he doesn't mean it. you tell yourself your heart is racing from how infuriating his existence is; at how stupid his face looked when he'd said it. not anything else and most especially not the little dimple on his cheek that shows itself every now and then.
(you didn't know it yet then, but he'd found the ledger you kept and read through it all. the one-year plan, the three-year plan, the five, and so on. and it does nothing but strengthen how he feels about you, since he was 6, 14, and a few years ago at 24.
it's at your third year of marriage that you find out―how gojo's known all this time, but more importantly, how there were reasons behind every single instance you thought he was out to ruin your life.
with intelligence far beyond his age, gojo has always preferred the company of adults more than children. at age 6, he would listen in on conversations his mother had with her friends, roughly comprehending complex worlds with the simple ones he understood. someone had mentioned something about their daughter being allergic to milk. and so, when your birthday came up and all he saw were milk treats, he gobbled them all up in an effort to make sure you wouldn't be subjected to an adverse reaction―even though you were far off from any dairy allergy.
what he was sure of, however, was that you were severely allergic to bees. and when he spotted one perched right on the buttercup stem geto handed you, he had no choice but to smack it right out of your hand and down to the ground, stepping on it too, for good measure.
and, okay, maybe he was a little naughty for tugging at your braids when you'd just spent all that time doing them, but he always liked how they flowed into waves when they unravelled; how you'd chase him afterwards, angry but so, so pretty.
if there's one moment gojo will consider real sabotage, though, it's that date he stopped you from going to. like there was any way he was going to let another man see you dressed like that. he isn't nice that way. when gojo wants something, he's not sharing, and the sight of you in white―that was meant to be his and only his.)
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