#petra deserved better

[anewkindofme]

With another fandom getting a bi character, it's got me thinking about Petra Solano and how I mourn for the arc she could've had. They had her come out and then did very little with it. They put her in a toxic relationship where she was being played half the time then betrayed.

I think what's worse is how they started to stress that Jetra viewed each other as sisters-when they never said that before the last season. I knew they wouldn't be endgame anyway, but how they handled Petramos felt like a slap in the face. Like "Hahaha, you wanted Petra with a Jane? Sure...oh, you wanted that Jane? What are you? Stupid?"

Especially that mini-plot when Raf thinks Petra is talking about their Jane and gets weirdly homophobic??? Then they have Petra stress NOOOOO, I could never love Jane like that.

I trust this other show will handle it better, even if the ship I like isn't endgame. But honestly, anything is better than the BS pulled in the last season of JTV.

[froggychair05]

Wanted to establish some character designs for the bakery AU 🫶

[warpaway]

one sided

hi it's me again. i will probably be adding this to my ooc page just so everyone possible knows it's a thing but for now here is a hc post.

i think everyone that linhardt has targetted as a research subject participant (we don't use that word, linhardt), they have developed a crush on. it's mostly to do with having REALLY INTENSE FEELINGS about their excitement for research and science and also this helps them overcome the hurdle of their introversion, so feelings get crossed and they end up conflating it for romantic feelings.

that isn't to say that like it would be a hollow relationship if anything ever came from these relationships. linhardt definitely comes to care genuinely about lysithea and marianne, and i think he would as well for like, god forbid you get a flayn/linhardt ending,

i just want to put this out there especially because linhardt totally develops a crush on, say, byleth, and there's a lot of ethical concerns there if there WASNT a yucky age gap. i just want to make it clear if anything happens in text it's one-sided and as the writer i don't necessarily want anything romantic happening okay? okay. good talk.

[thesharktist]

Hi I'm here on another Vanessa Afton/Shelly rant.

Because I love music as much as I love this blorbo, of COURSE I made a Vanessa playlist. Will I link it? Maybe if you ask I don't know, I'm not confident in anything ever.

ANYWAY. Chase Petra is such a Vanessa-coded band to me. I love them. Like, almost every song I can pick out each line that suits her. Below the break I'll go through a few.

First song: Nature vs. Nurture

Okay. Yeah. I may be projecting, but hear me OUT. Okay? Okay! Before we move on, we have to accept the fact that I think William was a bad dad. Like downright horrible. Anyway, just start with the first stanza.

It could so easily be representative of the fact that. She was raised by a killer who likely manipulated her and convinced her that his mess was her own. She wouldn't Know which words were her's or her father's, she would just know to listen and behave.

"They crumbled right in front of me" could so easily connect to two things. One, the fact that even if she was unconscious, William crumbled and died right in front of her. Two, if you consider that the ghost child for Golden Freddy was her little brother got bite of 83'd, the crumble could be William's descent to madness.

Vanessa was to young to see all the death she probably did, simply being a pawn in her dad's game.

Skipping ahead a bit, I'm not the most sure where her mother would fit in, but this is so tied closely to Vanessa standing up against her father in her own little ways.

This part hurts specifically so bad. Vanessa was waiting and hoping and wishing to make it to adulthood so she could escape her father and leave it all behind, but it just. Didn't work. She was still stuck doing his bidding after surviving and waiting for so long before she finally fought back and got stabbed.

She grew up too fast, and the effects her father left lasted.

I'm not gonna go through any more songs unless asked but here's the other ones by Chase Petra that remind me of Vanessa!

Keanu Reeves

Josslyn

Sightseer

Bildungsroman

In An Emergency Situation Such As The End Of The World

Monet Issues

Paranormal

THANK YOU if you read this far I have so many music related rambles (it's the autism)

I plan on maybe making a short animatic to Nature vs Nurture? We'll see!!! Anyway please recommend more Vanessa coded music I love her

[pegasusknightsonly]

sorry im not done "ingrid has really good charm growth and her personal ability increases the might of her gambits" yeah man! "so put her in a flier class which have the most restricted batallion access in the game particularly in part one, where you get pretty effectively bottlenecked in your classing choices due to the lack of flying batallions if you're not playing NG+ with multiple cleared save files" DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!! COME ON!!!!!

if anything ingrids usefulness as a gambit bot is the #1 reason to never ever let her so much as look at a pegasus!!!!! come on!!!!!!!!

[snk-warriors]

Can't Stay Away

Levi Ackerman x F! Reader

Summary: After the war ended, Levi finds himself at a familiar doorstep.

Warnings: Bittersweet angst, smut, not proofread

A/N: This blog is still officially inactive, but this story is a little gift for my dear friend @antivan-dragon. It was a joy to write it for you! <3

This is wrong.

He shouldn't be here - not after everything that had happened.

How long has it been, ten years? More?

It's hard to tell when you're used to live from moment to moment. Never knowing whether the current day might be your last really messes up one's perception of time.

All Levi's sure of is that the brief time he had allowed himself with you was the happiest he's ever been - than he ever thought to be capable of.

And yet, from his very first breath, his fate was clear: To him, living had always been a fight. Whether it was in the underground for food and safety, or against titans and humans alike under the clear sky mattered very little in the great concept of things.

The only home he's ever known was on the battlefield - until he met you, at least.

And still, Levi went back to the frontlines again and again and again because it's all he's ever known, the power he's born with a burdening duty upon the weak...

...but what place does a soldier have now, in a society without war?

This is what he fought for, right? To achieve peaceful times. Avenge his fallen comrades, honor his commander and protect as many people as possible from the unnecessary suffering this cruel world eventually provided.

Protecting you, first and foremost.

Your wellbeing has always been his greatest priority, and yet at the same time Levi was the one responsible for so much misery. Back then he convinced himself it was for the better, that he was doing you a favor by removing himself from your life.

In the end, all that's left for him now is the bitter feeling of regret.

Levi was aware that you would've waited for him, no matter how long it'd take until his return...

...but he was certain that his death was inevitable - a sacrifice he'd gladly take if it'd meant ensuring you a long and fulfilled life. And even if the impossible case of his survival would occur, he'd be a different man by then.

Ultimatively, he has become exactly this: Unlike you remember him, and definetly nothing close to what you deserved.

Maybe even in different circumstances he could never live up to the expectations he had set in himself - at least when it came to you.

But he felt as if you were like pure sunlight and he was a moth, drawn to it. No, he was the moon - selfishly absorbing and covering your brightness.

So, in order to make things easier for you, he pushed you away despite his soul screaming for him to stay at your side until humanity would reduce itself to ashes.

When no words would dring through to your devoted self, he announced an engagement to Petra, efficiently shattering your heart in the process.

Nothing Levi had ever done was as hard a task.

Given time however you'd find someone worthy to give you the life he longed for so deeply but never could, at least that's what he thought...

...yet when he heard that you never married even after all this time, his rationality stands no chance against the aching of his own loneliness.

Just to look how you've been he told himself on the way, and for an overdue apology.

Your little cottage on the outskirts of Wall Rose still looks as if he never left. It always smelled of lavender and honey, and whatever you were baking at the time.

Levi switched from the wheelchair to his cane, still able to walk by himself at least for a short distance. Only a few stairs separated the two of you, and it was the longest he's ever took - not because of his disability, but rather to gather all of his courage.

Facing his enemies was a piece of cake compared to this right now.

Though it felt wrong to do so he peeked through the window, his face twitching into an almost-smile as he finally laid eyes upon you again. The inside was cleaned spotless as always, neatly yet minimalistic decorated. You on the other hand were currently preparing some pastries, contently humming to yourself.

It felt like he never left.

What about you, he wondered. Had there been others after him? What was your life like these days? He wants to know everything.

That goddamn cat was still alive as it seems, curiously pricking up it's ears as it recognized the familiar - altough mangled - face. You and him had argued a lot about letting feral animals into your home, due to Levi's concern for hygiene and especially that damn fur everywhere in the house.

One glare from the man and it hissed, jumping down from the front porch and bolting into the forrest. Shit.

Living alone and isolated from civilization was dangerous, especially for a single woman. So it was no wonder how hyper-aware you still are, immediately swinging the door open with a clocked rifle.

Oh, how much he missed that side of you. The perfect combination of cute but deadly.

"Levi..." His features immediately softened at the sound of your voice. To him that name had been reduced to a battle cry, something for his enemies to curse and his superiors yelled to wield their human weapon around.

But coming out of your mouth, he could listen to it all day even if it was just to hurl insults at him.

Instead you put your welcoming arms around him before the weapon even dropped to the ground, heartwrenching sobs echoing against the pinewoods. "God, Levi, you-you're back. You're finally back...I-I knew you'd come!"

The former Captain should be relieved, and frankly, he is - nevertheless, things shouldn't be this way.

He had left so you could live...and you simply didn't.

This wasn't fair. And it drove him insane. There was an immense fury at the pit of his stomach at the realization that his withhold was for nothing, that you had wasted both of your lifetimes through your stubbornness.

You should have found yourself a man that could give you a family, a stable life, goddamn it the whole fucking world shall you ask!

However the sheer fact that he was finally able to breathe the same air as you again overshadowed any grudge with pure gratitude.

His whole life Levi had been was a dedicated, dutiful combatant, unquestioning to his orders. Now that the war was over, there was nothing left for him to do, nowhere left to go.

This one time, he'll allow himself to be selfish.

A hand on the back of your neck pulled you to close the remaining distance between the two of you, sealing his mute promises with a longdue kiss.

Levi had kissed you before - always rough and demanding. That's how things were between you, after all: He came to your home solely to get a taste of what normalcry, being human, was like, just to disappear after having realized his mistake.

If it meant he'd stay in your life, if only feebly, that was more than enough for you.

But this kiss...it was different. Tender, savouring, unwilling to pull away even tor so much as breathing air.

When your lips finally parted, you placed another, small peck to the corner of his lips. Your hands reached for his face, cupping it on both sides as if to make sure he's really there.

For a moment he pulls back, doubting his decision.

After all, the man in front of you was a shell of his former self, old and disfigured and broken. Petra was long since dead, you'd heard about the tragic circumstance.

He never wanted to give you the impression that you were just a last resort for when everyone else had forsaken him.

Noticing his internal struggle - an amazing talent only you possessed, since his expression was as still as a statue - you clutch the fabric of his shirt, gently tugging him inside. He has to lean onto you for support, stumbling into the all-too-familiar room.

You feel calloused hands on your body, caressing every inch of your exposed skin and sliding under your clothes. "Tell me to stop" he speaks breathlessly, sternly, "And I will."

Instead you frantically shake your head as you moan into his ear, one leg wrapping around his waist as he pushed you against the wall, busying yourself with rising blood on the skin of your neck. Fuck, he's missed your scent.

"B-Bed" you manage to wring out as his hand slips under your skirt, fingertips tracing the wet spot between your legs. He was eager, intoxicated one might say, but you could clearly feel how his own legs were close to giving in.

The thrill of the moment was briefly overshadowed by the humiliation of his new reality. In the past he would've taken you anywhere in the house, would've been able to lift you up and throw you onto the mattress if you so desired.

Another jab at his conscience that he'll never be good enough for you. If only he knew this was the way you'd always wanted him: Slow, passionate, caring...

"Don't worry about me" he speaks nonchalantly, yet the determination in his glare makes you shiver. Levi dropped to his knees just like that, his hands wandering upwards each of your legs. "Let me worship you."

You half-laugh, half-whine when he sunk his teeth into the flesh of your upper thigh, remembering how much he loved leaving little marks like love-letters on your skin. Old habits die hard, even when trying to be gentle.

Without hesitating, Levi twirls his fingers around the hem of your already dripping panty, pulling it down just enough to put his mouth to work. His teasing made you a whimmering mess, taking his time tracing kisses around the area close enough to feel his breath on your clit.

"Shi-it, Levi!" you let out a scream as his tongue slid along your folds, muffling your own noises by a hand on your mouth until Levi tugs at your arms. "I need to hear you, love. It's been too long."

And so you did, begging and moaning shamelessly as Levi ate you out like a man starving, palming himself through his trousers with eyes never leaving yours.

Hearing you like this made something in him snap, and yet you tugged on his hair, tugging him away just before you'd fall apart in front of him. "Not like this" you pant heavily, head spinning from lust, "I need you. Completely."

He simply nods at the request, unable to keep his hands from you even the short way to your bedroom. Your gown fell to the floor as he watched, a low groan escaping his closed mouth at the sight.

Time sure had taken a toll on both of you, he thinks as his knuckles brushed along your cheek, diving in your features that had slowly faded in his memory over the years...

...but your eyes, those damn beautiful orbs that showcased the love you held for him, they didn't change a bit.

And their effect on him was also still the same.

Before you first met he was sure that all those hardships had turned his heart into stone, but now this yearning had become a dagger he desperately wanted to pull out, make his heart bleed in reverence.

Levi was a man that spoke through actions, however.

Your fingers intertwined when he aligned himself with your entrance, searching your face to which you gave a permissing nod. He entered you carefully, adoring every microexpression, every reaction of yours when he started at a slow pace.

Even in his current state, his skill lacked nothing from his former peak: It was as if you could feel his hands and lips were everywhere at once, hitting all of your weak spots as if your body was a map he had learned by heart.

"I love you."

Your pupils were blown wide at his declaration, those words you had already long since made peace with to never hear coming out of his mouth.

A look that could only be described as pure affection plastered on his face, kissing along your collarbone up to your ear. "I love you, Y/N" he speaks again, more firmly now and smiling sincere as never before now that this self-inflicted weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders. "Always did."

Tears dwelled in your eyes, vocal cords lost their ability to form anything else than sobs and moans as your lips found his again, smiling against his mouth.

Words were never needed when it came to the bond of you and Levi, after all.

As his thrusts became more clumsy, ragged breaths whispering sweet affirmations barely audible to your ear, burying his hips against your pelvis as he rode you through your high. He followed closely after you came undone, stiling above you without any intend to leave this sweet escape he found in your arms.

Your hands rested on his shoulder blades when he felt safe enough to collapse in front of you, his head lying on your chest as your heartbeat soothed him just like back then.

He was alive. And you were his.

"Please" you sniveled, anxiety preventing you to endulge in the afterwaves of your ebbing high, "Never leave again."

You clung to him for dear life, limbs entangled as if he was just a pleasant dream that would disappear as soon as you dared letting go.

That moment Levi made an oath to himself: No matter his insecurities, for the rest of his life he'd dedicate to become the man you see in him.

There was a lot to make up for.

"If you'll have me."

[abiatackerman]

could you do a nsfw where reader is insecure because she finds herself flat and doesn’t have many curves as others girl and she hides her body and she’s really shy thanks smmm i love all your works🥰

Hello Anon! Thanks for asking! The idea is really really sweet haha! I enjoyed writing this! Hopefully I've met your expectations!!!!

Insecure Yet Irreplaceable

⚔️Levi Ackerman x Female Reader⚔️

⚠️Warnings: Slight suggestive sexual talk⚠️

Captain Levi Ackerman x Female reader! Fluffy romance! Slight comedy! Insecurities and comfort! 1k words!

Summary: As usual you were overthinking about your perfection but Levi never fails to make sure that you don't forget the fact that you're the only one for him!

Tags: @theremainsof @levisbrat25 @itsnathateasy @violentvaleska @anti-cupid @meowmewow7 @mikabella7 @satorella

🩷If you wanna be tagged let me know 🩷

✨Masterlist✨

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

"Maybe I should just break up with him? He deserves better"

You mumble to yourself as the cold wind crushes against your body, making you shiver. Hugging your blanket tighter, you sigh and look up at the sky.

Right now you're sitting on the roof of the survey corps headquarter. You always come here when you're upset, just to make yourself feel a little bit better. And today too, you're upset. The reason is silly but still.... You're just being you.

Today you saw how adorable Levi and Petra looks together. You know Petra has a secret crush on Levi for a long time and sometimes you felt sorry for her because Levi choose you over her (since your not working directly under him). Of course you're happy about it but when you saw how sweetly Petra was serving tea to Levi and how softly Levi thanked her.....

"Ahhhhh... Stop.... It's not like they were doing this behind my back!"

You groan, slapping your forehead and hiss at yourself. You know Levi will never cheat on you but you just can't shove away the picture of Levi and Petra being a couple and you bet they'll be a perfect one. Why not? Petra's more talented and pretty than you and she's not flat as you-

"You're here? And here I've searched almost the whole hq for you."

You freeze as you hear Levi's voice and tilt your head behind to look at him. You chuckle apologitically.

"Sorry.... I forgot to tell you...."

Levi sits beside you and looks up at the sky too.

"It's fine."

You gaze at his face, mesmerized by how the silver moonlight kisses his features, making him look more enchanting. The glow dances in his blue eyes, turning them into shimmering pools of starlight. His dark, silky hair sways gently with the whisper of the wind as each strand glistens. In this moment, he looks not just handsome, but otherworldly, as though he belongs to the heavens.

"An angel......"

You whisper, staring at Levi with a mesmerized state.

"Hm?"

Levi hums softly as he looks back at you smiling softly.

"I was just wondering.... Don't you think you're too good me?"

You ask without any doubt. No matter how insecure you are, you never hesitate to hide that from Levi. Levi does the same too. There's nothing hidden in this relationship. And that's why the bond you two share are far more strong than anyone can imagine.

"A bastard like me who was raised by a serial killer, too good for you?"

He says nonchalantly and you samck him.

"God, Levi! You're horrible. Don't ever say that."

You say in a sad tone making Levi sigh.

"But that's the truth."

Levi utters the words without any hesitation and looks up at the sky again.

"Yeah that's true! Also it's true the you're the captain of the survey corps, best and the strongest soldier! You have an amazing body, amazing strength and amazing-"

You pause, blushing as Levi stares at you with an smile which is clearly indicating that he's amused.

"Well I'm glad that you think that a midget like me has an amazing body...."

Levi says as he leans down and pressed his forehead against yours making your face red.

"But that's true......"

You mumble in a low tone and look away since you're too shy to look at him in the eye. Levi presses his lips against your cheek and hums.

"Yeah... Every time I have to be careful......"

He says, brushing his lips against your skin, trailing soft kisses from your cheek to your neck.

"So that I don't break your bed even though I want to break it so bad. But I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable by Hange's teasing ....."

You eyes widened as he speaks those words. Blushing, you try to push him off you.

"Levi!!!!!!! Stop teasing me!!!!!!!!"

Levi shakes his head against your neck as he sneaks his hands inside your blanket and hugs you tightly.

"No. You're feeling insecure, I can tell. What's this shit about?"

You sigh and wrap the blanket around Levi, snuggling with him to feel his warmth.

"Well it's just.... I think Petra will be a better partner for, than me...."

You mumble as you rest your head in his shoulder making Levi huff with annoyance.

"I see her as a sister and I don't think so I'll be able to share my secrets or insecurities with her just like I can with you. I'm her captain and I can't show her my weak side."

Levi says as he pats your head.

"Also I don't want to either because I don't love her. Or feel comfortable with her like I do with you."

"But she's sexier than me. I'm flat."

Levi scoffs with disbelief as you mumble those words against his shoulders.

"Then why don't you start dating Eld? He's taller than me and blonde too."

As Levi says those words, you gasp and raise your head from his shoulder.

"No way! I-- How can you say that?"

You ask with disbelief.

"That's exactly how I feel every time you say I'm better with someone else. Do you think I love you for your body? Have you always thought of me like that?"

Levi looks at you with an stoic look, his words are full of disbelief and annoyance.

"I'm sorry. I promise I won't do that again."

You mumble like a kid, regretting your stupidity.

"Good but who the hell said that you're flat?"

Levi asks as he moves his hand from you back to your chest, squeezing your breasts softly clearly ignoring your red face.

"I see nothing wrong here."

"Oh my god, Levi... Stop!!!!!!!!"

You say as you try to move his hands off your body.

"Why are you acting like this is the first time I'm doing this?"

Levi asks with annoyance as he removes his hands from your body with a scoff.

"It's just..... We're on the roof! What if someone sees us?"

"Well then stop saying you're flat, idiot! Also it's not like those shits don't know that we're in a relationship."

"Still you're a captain! You have a reputation to maintain, don't you?"

Levi sighs at your words as he stands up, extending his hands towards you.

"Get up. It's getting cold."

You hold his hand and stand up, smiling. You know Levi has stopped talking back after you two became a couple just to avoid arguments....

Also because he knows you feel happy when you feel like you won the argument. So he just pretends he lost. And that never fails to make you smile.

"My room then? You don't have any bed in your room after all."

"Because Erwin probably knew he had to supply a new bed every week in my room because unlike you, I won't hesitate to break my bed."

"Shut up!"

[ramyeonguksu]

Petra deserved a better preskip design imo so here’s a quick doodle I did with my take on her school uniform!

[bump1nthen1ght]

A Very Monstrous Kinktober (2024) Day 18 - Body Worship

Kink: Body Worship

Pairing: F!Reader x F!Gorgon

Other Kinks: Yandere, Cunnilingus

Warnings: Non-Con, Kidnapping, Slight Infantilization

Word Count: 1499 words

Kinktober Masterlist

You had come looking for your brother.

Petrina didn’t recognize the name you shouted as you boldly wandered into her cave, arms trembling under the weight of your lantern. Or maybe it was from fear, knowing you were entering the monster’s den, the monster who had most definitely killed your brother.

It was the first time Petrina felt guilty for her deeds. Not for him, of course, the boy was a foolish thing looking for glory, practically begging to be turned into stone. But seeing the big tears at the corner of your eyes, the way you desperately searched for his face in the sea of statue'd corpses, it tugged at her heartstrings.

How you were related to such a boorish man was another sign that the gods were cruel; that they’d bless your parents with yourself, shining and jewel-like, and then saddle such a treasure with an absolute idiot of a brother. You didn’t deserve such a fate, even if your caring heart convinced yourself otherwise.

Beautiful women with big hearts were stomped down in this world, by people just like your brother. They were ripped to shreds and eaten alive, tossed into monstrous pits and left to rot, names slandered across tongues and history.

Petrina was doing a favor, taking you for herself. You were in the only place in the world free from the cruelties of gods, men, and monsters alike. You could be safe, her perfect gemstone.

“Your skin is like silk.” Petra kisses at the inside of your wrist, cradling your palm against her cheek. It’s calloused from years of farm work, yet the texture feels fine against her scaly skin. “No, like honey. Sweet-” She kisses at the juncture of your elbow, “-And decadent.” She kisses your shoulder, ignores the way your breath hitches and your face jerks away. The snakes of her hair lean up to flicker their tongue on your cheek, taste the sweat their mistress tastes in her mouth. Your forehead scrunches up as they move to pepper your nose, eyes still closed despite the blindfold you wear. Good, it's better to be safe than sorry. She couldn’t lose her precious jewel right when she got her.

Petrina’s mouth dances across your collarbone, her fangs begging to sink in and gnaw on the flesh, taste if it’s as sweet as your sweat. But she can’t, mustn't defile this sweet creature. She has hurt so many for so long, but you she will treasure.

Your chiton falls so beautiful off your figure and Petrina almost regrets having to rip it off of you. But the reward of your bare body pressed against hers is worth the defiling. She has collected so many fine things over the years, she has plenty for you to wear and lavish in. For now, she licks and sucks down your breasts and stomach, nuzzles her face into the perfect flesh before her. Her snakes do the same, goosebumps trailing down as they feather their own kisses across your body. You jerk when one flicks across your nipple, senses heightened and nerves taut like a bowstring. 

“Aaah.” Petrina flicks out her tongue, so close to your center that your essence’s scent hangs in the air. Her mouth waters at the fragrance, burrowing her face into your bushy mound. Her snakes bundle and tangle together, all desperate for a taste as well.

“P-please.” Your gentle voice whispers, just as cute as the first time she heard it. 

“Please what, my dear?” Petrina uses the tiniest of force, digging her nails into your thighs to force your legs to spread. Your voice raspy, you plead some more.

“Not t-there. I’ve never…I mean-”

“Untouched, undefiled.” Petrina takes another deep whiff. “What does your virgin pussy taste like?”

Her snakes act as a guard and push out your legs, just a threat of their fangs as they mouth at your plush thighs. Petrinas long fingers slide up between your pussy lips, spreading them wide for the very first time. The sight of your fluttering hole has her cooing.

“Already you leak sweet nectar for me.” Petrina splays her fingers, watches your wetness web between her digits. Her long tongue curls round the two digits. Both her and her snakes shudder.

“Better than Olympus’ finest ambrosia.” Petrina smacks her lips, returning back to the main source. She licks up the length of your cunt, drinking in the taste and the whimpered moans that escape through your lips. Your button throbs underneath her tongue, pulsing with blood. Petrina’s lips circle and suck.

“A-ah!” Your hips beckoning into her face, pressed her deeper into the sweet scent of Elysium. She draws a circle around your clit, her snakes flexing as your thighs try to shut close, forcing them open. It’s simply your inexperience, Petrina rationalizes, you’ll realize soon that all she’s doing is showing you her love.

Her long nails, perfect for carving stone, are delicate as the prod against your fluttering hole. She doesn’t want to hurt you, knows how delicate a virginal pussy can be. But it will feel good in the end, she’ll bring you dizzying pleasure. It’s what you deserve, all the comforts life can offer.

She stays sucking on your clit, slow and methodical, making sure to not overstimulate the poor bundle of nerves. With her snakes keeping your thighs open, one hand creeping up your stomach while the other spreads open your pussy lips. So warm, so wet.

You whimper when she grapes at your breasts, nipples hardening as she rolls them under her thumb. She’d love to suck on them more, lay her head between them and hear your beating heart. For now, playing with them will have to do; her mouth has other priorities.

Her pointer and index finally venture deeper, pushing past your clenching walls and into your pussy. She moves at a snail's pace, glad to see you do not bleed at the intrusion. It’s just two fingers but if the way you clench and writhe are any indication, any fullness is wholly unfamiliar.

“Aa-ah! What are you-”

“Shh, my love. I only want to make you feel good.” She would normally relish in your melodic voice, but she knows you're struggling with the stupid lessons you were taught growing up. That the only thing that could possibly be between your legs was a man and his cock. You don’t yet know how good just some fingers could feel.

There’s a squelch as her palm hits your pussy, fingers now seated all the way to the knuckle. The moans you let out when she scissors her fingers outward are heavenly, gummy walls trembling against the foreign pressure. Her rough fingertips search for the spongy pad inside of you, lips curling into a smirk when she finds it, your whole body shaking.

“Hnng!” You bite your bottom lip, the shame of your own pleasure deep within you. Petrina will pull that out of you soon enough.

With her target found, she begins thrusting her fingers. Slow at her first, like her tongue, but quickening as your walls begin to loosen. As more and more slick covers her knuckles, her tongue soon matches its pace, drawing tight little circles on your clit and sucking hard. The hand on your breasts pinches the nipple, knowing that a little pain only heightens the sensation.

“Gods!” You finally scream, tummy clenching as the knot gets pulled taut. It’s all so overwhelming, a rapid barrage of new sensations. 

“Such an honor to bring you here, my treasure.” Petrina pants between her sucks, now pressing the flat of her tongue on to your button. “To help you reach these heights. To help you come undone.”

Your moans have become breathy, practically panting as your heartbeat pounds like a drum. Something is coming, some tidal wave you can’t help but be pulled under.

“I-m-I’m-!”

Petrina’s arm burns but she never falters, watches the slick splatter against her palm as she fingers you. They are strong and dextrous, expertly tending to the fire that is your climax.

“Let it come, jewel. Let yourself come.”

That is your undoing, the simple command snapping that taut bowstring like scissors. Your back arches as you cum against Petrinas mouth and palm, oozing juices down her jaw. Her snakes go wild, fighting for tastes of the sticky trails, flickering expectant tongues against your thighs and the bottom of your ass cheeks.

Petrina lets you ride out the high on her face, letting you collapse on the bed in a slump. It can be exhausting coming that intensely, especially for someone like her treasure.

You don’t flinch when she kisses the side of your face, when her snakes leave their own little kisses across your chest and neck. You take long, slow breaths. You seemed to have fallen asleep.

Petrina lays there, watching you for hours as you rest. The light of the moon shines on your sweaty body, a perfect picture of beauty.

“Sweet dreams, my treasure.”

[hapigairu]

Petra just makes me so sad... When she has an actual spine, I love her, but in SB, CF or when she's not recruited... yeah...

The fact that a POC would be okay with throwing her life away (and therefore dooming the kingdom she's going to be in charge of) for a white woman who is willing to set said kingdom free for reasons is... yeah, very icky. It really feels like the racist prejudices that circulated (or sometimes still do...) about the POC being very passive (as though they were okay with being oppressed when... no?? Of course not?) and unable to do a single thing without their white oppressors' "kind and benevolent direction". It's just... disgusting. Especially considering it's a game made in a country that had a history of brutally oppressing people.

I know some people think that the situation with Duscur, Dedue and Dimitri is worse, but... how? Dedue being extremely loyal to Dimitri is explained at length. Dimitri saved his life, and he has clearly shown his intention to restore Duscur. Despite a clear power gap, they genuinely trust and care for each other. Edelgard... probably didn't treat Petra like a wild animal when they first met, but that's about it?

And the fact that Duscur is still a part of Faerghus by the time the time-skip occurs in Hopes is because, well... Duscur was basically turned to ashes and most of its population was killed, so it stands to reason that they'd still need help from Faerghus. But the fact that soldiers from Duscur decide to fight to defend Faerghus (while also admitting that their feelings regarding this country are complicated) is proof enough that Dimitri, Dedue and Rodrigue are doing a solid job. In contrast, we know nothing about Brigid's situation, or what Petra's subjects think of the Empire. Dedue is the son of a fisherman (I think?), so he doesn't have the same responsibilities Petra has and yet he accomplished so much more than her (if she stays with Edelgard, that is).

But that's the now old problem of the BE not being allowed to criticise or challenge their Emperor. It's problematic when it comes to Ferdie, Hubert etc. but it gets reaaaally reprehensible with Petra.

I really hate the inconsistencies that exist just to make SB (and CF technically) work, but also how hard Petra basically simps for Edelgard to the point it deconstructs aspects of her character.

In Houses she mentions her siblings being in danger if she died, but in SB she just doesn't even make any mention of them in this situation. She's just willing to possibly die all of a sudden for someone who never actually treated Brigid like its people were independent (which she could've done at literally any time from the moment she became emperor). She was relatively vocally I guess you could say "good" to Petra, but the way the writing handles Petra's response to all of it feels like Petra's just been brainwashed.

Petra says she would always choose survival and makes a point to emphasis that, but in SB she's completely and carelessly willing to risk her life and possibly throw it away... for Edelgard? Who still has not actually officially freed Brigid? And if Petra were to stop being Edelgard's ally?

"Reconsideration". Because Brigid was never freed and now they're not going to be as long as Edelgard is in charge, because their queen is no longer bending to her will and fighting for her. If she was ever truly planning to free Brigid, Petra's decision alone not to fight for her shouldn't have changed that fact (especially since she supposedly gives her the choice in Houses to fight for her or not, and on non CF routes she does this by sending a letter, to which Petra refuses).

It should, of course, be obvious with this that everything is very not hunky dory between Adrestia and Brigid, but then...

...eh wot hooligans???

I mean sure, if you considered forced vassalage to be "peace" and not being a free people "peace" then sure. But like... it's not a peace her people want and she should know that, but the game tends to do this back and forth with this topic. I hate it though because it makes it come across as being forced into submission and not having the means to fight back is "peace".

I know this game has lots of issues with uh, if you're attacked or if you were defeated by another military force you should submit and be happy about being taken over, and when you can't fight back anymore that's "peace" because nobody's fighting... but uhh... why is that only an issue with the Empire? I mean, we know why - the devs wanted to walk with her and they admitted it! But like... they should still know when they're writing something reeeeally icky.

Duscur doesn't have this problem and they're not under Edelgard's foot. Anything under Edelgard's foot though is treated like they should be thankful for her control and/or invasion(s). That just overall sends a really nasty message. I don't know that the devs meant to do that as far as an Empire, but I do think it's because they went a little hard with the Edelgard bias and somehow forgot what it would look like to an audience playing the game.

It's like they know it's not a good thing but they keep pushing the "Brigid isn't actually free but it's still peace because nobody is fighting" narrative.

Like... I don't care how much you love a character you're writing. You can't tell me that oppressed nations would just call oppressions "peace" or that their leaders would be more than happy to fight and die for the leader of the nation oppressing them. It gets even worse when you get into the racial territory of it, but that's a topic I've already covered so I'm not gonna go over it again here.

[iinsertblognamee]

social media au

y/n face claim; gracie abrams

yn

liked by taylorswift, samanthakerr20 and 214,984 others yn cheeky 🍒's

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ynlover hottie

iloveyn when are you releasing new music??

ynfan3 you're so gorgeous!

billieeilish 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

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mackenziearnold 👀 samanthakerr20 ⤷ samanthakerr20 shutup ⤷ yn hello ladies 👋👋

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vanityfair

liked by yn, samanthakerr20 and 52,095 others vanityfair check out our new video featuring our favourite aussie y/n as she talks music, relationships and gives us an insight into what it was like growing up down under.

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ynlover why is she so cute??!

user14 no, but like i knew she was australian but that accent threw me off a little not gonna lie.

yn thank you so much for having me !!

user27 been a fan since her first single. so happy that she's finally getting the recognition she deserves

iloveyn okay but the sly smile she gave as they asked if she had any sort of romance going on. i think our girl isn't as single as she claims to be

samanthakerr20 😨 i think i found my missing medal ⤷ yn you gave it to me you ass

user31 i love how as a kid she wanted to be a famous soccer player, girl really switched teams on that one.

ynlover

liked by 1,812 ynlover anyone know what this is about? and why have i been stalking samanthakerr20 for the past two hours since seeing these comments.

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user12 why is it kinda cute?

ynfan13 they grew up together!! i think she mentioned it in one of her early interviews years back.

samkerr20fan they're friends. She's been at a couple of Sam's games over the years.

user82 they're both single 👀👀

user61 yn is 💅 ?? since when

samfan72 i swear sam was in a relationship a few months back??

ynfan57 i've been investigating both their pages and they've been pretty vocal on both sides - except for a period in 2020 where neither of them commented or liked anything of the other.

ynlover i feel like we need weekly catch-ups to discuss everything everyone has found in this new predicament.

yn

liked by samanthakerr20, calumhood and 310,287 others yn recording album number 3, keen as a bean 🫛

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yn poll; should we name the album cool beans?

ynfan12 holy hell!!! cannot wait

5sos 👀

user28 what is 5sos doing here??

iloveyn i love you

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samanthakerr20 did you write any songs about me? ⤷ yn no xoxo

user11 ✍️ someone put this in the receipts ^

calumhood vote yes for cool beans

samkerrfanupdates

liked by 2,082 others samkerrfanupdates sam with fans at last night's game.

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samfan28 so jealous!!

user73 great game last night girls! can't wait for many more to come.

user25 that's me and my sister in that photo!! we asked her what he favourite album was right now and she said cool beans ?? we tried searching it up but i low key think she made it up. she was really nice tho!

samkerr20fan um... ynlover you're seeing what i'm seeing right? ⤷ ynlover 😨😨😨 why are they such girlfriends.

(can't do better by kim petras)

samanthakerr20

liked by yn, matildas and 401,286 others samanthakerr20 i wonder how many songs this face has inspired?

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user23 so cheeky!

user80 hi sam!!

yn ohmy.

samfan39 im coming to your next game! can't wait to see you.

samkerr20fan so she's just not even denying it anymore?

user15 y'all really gonna forget that fans saw yn and samanthakerr20 kissing when chelsea won the FA women's cup a few months back against man city?? samkerr20fan im sorry??? wot ⤷ user15 yeah, they seemed cosy enough. yn was sitting with the partners of the other Chelsea teammates during the game so...

ynlover i've been summoned

yn

liked by samanthakerr20, matildas and 519,028 others yn last night

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user91 hiiiii

ynfan18 i was there last night you were amazing !!!!

ynfan66 so in love with you

iloveyn why is the matildas here ?? 🤨🤨

samanthakerr20 so proud of you! ⤷ yn mwahhh 😚

user8 i love you so much yn

yn

liked by samanthakerr20, matildas and 610,384 others yn and to think I've been writing songs about you for years. happy two year anniversary my love 💗

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samanthakerr20 i love you

matildas our favourite love story

mackenziearnold 👏👏 for putting up for her for years ⤷ samanthakerr20 excuse you ⤷ yn thank you

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charli_grant my mums 💗

samanthakerr20

liked by yn, matildas and 510,428 others samanthakerr20 she wrote many songs about me 💗

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yn baby, i wrote every album for you

[tgmsunmontue]

Saga of Solitude 18/21

Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version). (Side Hangster, which is ALSO angsty).

PROLOGUE (He remembers)

HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

ONE (2000) TWO (2001) THREE (2002) FOUR (2003) FIVE (2004) SIX (2005) SEVEN (2006) EIGHT (2007) NINE (2008) TEN (2009) ELEVEN (2010) TWELVE (2011) THIRTEEN (2012) FOURTEEN (2013) FIFTEEN (2014) SIXTEEN (2015) SEVENTEEN (2016)

Made infinitely better by having @phisworld14 do a quick beta-check and caught the worst of my typos and spelling errors. 🌻🌻🌻

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – 2017

              “Bradley…”

              “Yeah.”

              “Tamsin says you’re smart…”

              “Uh…” Bradley isn’t sure what to say to that. Because it’s been a while since he was a teenager, but he’s pretty sure agreeing that he’s smart is likely an uncool thing to do. Then again he’s a fully functional adult and shouldn’t care what his teenage sister thinks of him. Still. “Well. If Tamsin thinks so…?”

              “Oh my god, you are so not…”

              “Did you want to talk about something?”

              “Uh. No.”

              Bradley nods, because he’s pretty sure she does, but he’s not going to push it, because that way lies madness and likely some form of bodily harm. She’s happily helping him to the fine sand on the body of the Bronco, and it’s almost ready for a final paint job. They’ve sanded and sanded more, masked up sweating, filled in so many holes with glass-fiber mat and resin. He found completely new second-hand parts for some of the panels, because they’d had less rust.

              For a while the Bronco has resembled more of a patchwork quilt than a vehicle, but he’s booked her in for a professional paint job for when he’s next deployed. Petra has her license now, and while she doesn’t like driving the Bronco because it’s too slow, she’s agreed to pick it up and take it back to Bradley’s house. On the proviso that she gets to choose the color. He’s really glad she likes him and will no doubt choose a color that he’ll love.

              “Do you like it?”

              “Uh… like what?” Bradley asks, wonders if he missed her saying something else, pretty sure he didn’t.

              “You know. Sex.”

              He moves so fast he hits his head on the hood, which at least is funny to her, her burst of laughter sounding a little nervous. He is not prepared for this conversation but suspects he’s going to be having it anyway. What did he ever do to deserve this? Twice?

              “Uh… Yeah. I do.” Fuck he really hopes that’s enough and that this is somehow the end of the conversation. He doubts very much he’s going to be that lucky and he’s reminded of other conversations he’s had over the years with either Tamsin or Petra. There’s nowhere to go but through.

              “Why?”

              “Why do I like sex?”

              “Yeah.”

              “Uh…”

              “Apart from the orgasm part. I get that. Well. Not really. But…”

              “Okay. It makes me feel good. I like making the other person, or people, fuck, uh. Just…” He scrubs at his forehead, wonders if the reason Mav still looks so young is because Bradley inherited his age-lines somehow. “It’s physical gratification. For all parties. I enjoy taking part in that,” he trails off, because it’s also about trust and having a connection and he’s been missing that he realizes suddenly. What a time to have a revelation.

              “Going fast feels better…”

              “Uh… going fast does feel pretty fucking good,” Bradley agrees, realizing she’s referring to the speed of vehicles rather than the speed of sex. And he doesn’t want to ask if she has anything to compare it to. That would be a dick move and he’s not as clueless now as he was as a teenager, not even aware of the gay and lesbian relationships the he was surrounded by.

              “I don’t like sex.”

              “Okay.”

              “I’ve had sex.”

              “Yeah, okay. Don’t tell Mav that. You’ll give him a heart attack.”

              “And I had it with both a guy and a girl. Just in case…”

              “Uh… what?”

              “To check.”

              Part of Bradley wants to commend the scientific approach, however.

              “You know you didn’t have to do that right?”

              “Yes I did. For me, I did. I talked to mom. I just… I don’t like it.”

              “Okay. That’s fine,” Bradley says, and he wonders if that’s the last of it. He’s going to enjoy filling in Nat about this. Over a bottle of wine. Maybe one each.

              “It’s just…I just feel like I’m the odd one out…”

              “How?”

              “Everyone else likes sex!”

              “Uh. Not everyone. There are –”

              “Everyone in our family I mean! That’s why I feel like I don’t fit in…”

              “Oh. Uh. Yeah. Okay. You fit in perfectly, just like everyone else does. Have you thought maybe Tamsin feels the same?”

              “What? She likes sex. I’ve heard it. It’s…” Petra pulls a face and he kind of has to agree, the idea of hearing Tamsin have sex is definitely entering the realm of TMI. It’s bad enough knowing she has a boyfriend and is sexually active. Maybe he should buy Ice and Mav a treat on the way home…

              “Okay, I don’t need to know that. I meant… uh… feeling like the odd one out. She’s straight. The only one in our family,” Bradley offers, scrambles to think of another example. “And, uh, I’m fine with it now, but for a while when I was younger I felt like I was the odd one out, like I wasn’t sure if I was a cousin or brother or just a family friend…”

              “You’re my brother! You’ve always been my brother!”

              “I know. I know I am. I just… it took me a few years to realize that. I’m just using it as an example of how I used to feel like I was the odd one out. Maybe Melissa feels like she’s the odd one out sometimes, because she’s not related to blood to you or Tamsin…”

              “She’s my mama…”

              “Yeah. Exactly. Our family might be a little… unique. But we’re all really important parts. Okay?”

              Petra lets out a sigh and shrugs, then shoves her shoulder into his side.

              “Yeah. Tamsin was right. You are pretty smart.”

…           …           …

              Tom wanders around the house and it feels far too quiet. Tamsin and Petra both now away at college, Pete doing some test pilot thing which is keeping him in the air and happy about it. Everyone he loves is safe and well and yet he feels like he’s at a loose end. Maybe he should get a dog. It would be nice to have someone in the house that actually listened and followed his instructions. Also right now it would make him feel a little less lonely. Maybe he’ll go to the shelter and just… have a look sometime.

…           …           …

              “Remind me again why I’m wearing a blindfold to see my own car?”

              “You said we could choose the color for the paint!”

              “Have to do a grand reveal…” Ice says and he sounds amused  which Bradley isn’t sure how to take.

              “You couldn’t have covered the car in a sheet?” Bradley mutters, wonders whether he’s going to see bright red, or lime green. Bright orange maybe? At least people will see him coming.

              “Your eyes are easier for us to cover up. Now quit your whining… Ta da!”

              The blind fold is removed with only a little discomfit and pulling of hair; he takes in the Bronco in front of him. It’s blue. A beautiful shade of blue that reminds him of a hot summer day and the clear sky stretching wide and free. The chrome is glistening, as are the tires. If he hadn’t worked on it himself for the last eight years he’d have assumed this was a collectors piece.

              “Wow… it looks so good.”

              “Better than you thought it would?” Petra asks, and she’s bouncing on the balls of her feet.

              “Yeah, so much better. Did you… did you get it detailed as well?”

              “Yep. Thought you’d appreciate it.”

              “Thanks Pet, I really do. It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

…           …           …

              Pete is glad for the flexibility that being a test pilot offers. Of course, sometimes he turns up on planned fly-days only to find out that the plane is, in fact, not going to be going up. He strikes up a friendship with Hondo, someone who can keep up with him when it comes to talking about the mechanics and maneuvers and how they might relate. He just gives Ice the finger when he makes a pithy comment about how nice it is to see him making friends.

              He follows the news, and Bradley’s deployments of course. Knows Ice keeps an even closer eye on the goings on. Ice might think his notebooks are secret, but Pete has seen them. He can’t decipher Ice’s little code, but he also hasn’t sat down and actually tried either. He’s fairly confident that if he asked Ice would simply tell him, and there’s no fun in that. He’d love to see if he could maybe crack it and then sneak in some notes of his own. Maybe a sneaky I love you. Yeah. He’ll try that.

…           …           …

              As August bleeds into September Tom watches the news helplessly as Hurricane Harvey wreaks havoc, think about his colleagues and friends in Corpus Christi and does everything he can think of to help. Tensions are mounting between China, Russia and North Korea and he’s been to so many briefings about North Korea’s on-going nuclear testing he’s surprised he isn’t dreaming about it. Then Hurricanes Irma and Maria strike in quick succession, separated by a 7.1 earthquake in Mexico and he sets about updating and improving all the emergency evacuation gear that his family might need.

…           …           …

              Bradley has been getting therapy and it’s been… unexpected. He doesn’t know what he’d expected the first time, but getting asked why he thought he needed therapy had thrown him. He’d sort of expected to be told all the ways he was fucking up his life, because he knows he’s been making mistakes and just didn’t know if he could stop making them. Still doesn’t know really, but he’s got a better understanding of himself, and of all the relationships he has with the people in his life.

              And that’s the key point, he can only work on the relationships he has with people who are in his life. He hasn’t seen Jake in over a year, knows that he’s likely made any chance of something more than sex impossible with his previous behavior. Not that he’d meant to hurt Jake, but he knows now he must have. Even the apologies he’d thought off wouldn’t have been enough. He remembers his last time with Jake. Thinks of wasted opportunities but also tries not to dwell on them. He can’t change his past, only work on his present and improve for his future.

…           …           …

              Pete stops putting his shopping in the tail bag and stands still and strains his ears.

              There.

              He steps towards the sound, and it gets louder before stopping. Then again. He hears a faint mewling and he looks around but he can’t see anything that might be making such a sound. There is a pile of trash, some bags and cardboard boxes piled up in the corner of the lot where he parked while he ran in to grab a bottle of wine and some chocolate to bring home to Ice after nearly two weeks away. His stomach sinks as he gets closer and the sound gets louder. He nudges the closest box with his foot carefully and sure enough it cries and there’s scrambling coming from inside and he feels a well of rage rise up as he pulls his pocketknife from his pocket.

              Slicing the tape along the edges carefully he prepares himself for the potential horror and smell and then he’s looking at two kittens who are both trying to scrabble out of the box. They’re filthy, covered in their own shit and no doubt fleas and god, he has no idea what else. He’s never had pets before, although he knows Ice had dogs growing up. He can’t leave them, he’s just going to have to take them home and figure out what the fuck he’s meant to do. But at home is Ice, and he’ll know.

              He unzips his jacket and willingly one of the kittens just immediately climbs inside. He has no idea if this is normal behavior. The other kitten follows suit, and apart from the very fucking sharp claws which are pricking at his skin through his t-shirt they seem quite content. He’s going to need a decontamination shower and have to send his jacket away to be cleaned properly. Ah well, it’s not like he has a choice.

              He drives carefully, mindful that his attention might be drawn away by sharp claws or wriggling bodies. However it’s an uneventful ride and he dismounts from his bike carefully, deciding to leave the wine and chocolate in the tail bag for now. He can come out and grab it after he’s had a shower.

              “Have you hurt yourself? You’re walking… stiffly.”

              “Uh yeah… I’m fine. Just…” Pete stops, blinks at the apparition sitting at Ice’s heel, a golden-brown patchy dog with floppy looking ears. “Uh, Ice? There’s a dog. Where did the dog come from?”

              “Uh. Yeah. His name is Harley…”

              “You got a dog?”

              “Yes. I… uh. Didn’t mean to. But he’s been at the shelter for over a year and… Mav, what do you have in your jacket?”

              “Kittens.”

              “What.”

              It’s the tone Ice uses when he’s not actually asking a question, is simply waiting for further clarification. After years together Pete knows he’s going to have to talk fast, but at least it’s a short story and he knows Ice will agree with hi justification.

              “Uh. Yeah. I found them in a box…”

              “You couldn’t just leave them there?”

              “It was taped shut Tom.”

              He knows he’s not going to have to say anything else. That Ice knows him too well to expect him to have done anything differently than exactly what he’s done.

              “Fuck.”

              “Yeah. I couldn’t…”

              “Yeah, no. Of course not. Fuck.”

              “I just… can you start looking stuff up? Find out where we could maybe take them? They really need a bath. And then I need a shower.”

              “Okay. Use the laundry sink. Do you think Melissa would know?”

              “She’s a doctor Ice, not a vet…”

              “Yeah, but she likes cats. Actually so does Sarah. Maybe they’ll take them?”

              “Ring them and ask. I’m going to…” he unzips his jacket and looks down to find two pairs of green eyes peering and blinking back at him.

              “Oh. They’re… very small.”

              “I think they’re normal sized?”

              “They definitely need a bath.”

              “Yeah. Sorry. Not quite the homecoming I had planned…” Ice’s lips twitch and an eyebrow goes up and Pete huffs in resignation. “I know, let me go get these guys cleaned up. You ring Sarah and Melissa.”

…           …           …

              Tom gets off the phone with Sarah in time to help Mav wrap a kitten each in a large towel and carefully dry them. They’re doing the best they can, and he at least has been able to create a litter box with some sand in the garage and an empty plastic tray Mav had bought for changing oil. It’ll do the job for now and he can still hear the echo of Sarah’s laugh. Fortunately Harley seems completely uninterested in the kittens, until they start crying and then he just sniffs at them curiously before lying down and letting out the resigned huffing sigh that had endeared Tom to him the first time he’d seen him.

              “Sarah and Melissa are away visiting Melissa’s sister. They wish us good luck.”

              “Damn.”

              “She gave me some ideas. First thing tomorrow though we’re taking them to the vet.”

              “Yeah, of course.”

              “Your turn to go shower…”

              He takes the other kitten and carries them both into the kitchen, knows they have tinned fish and hopefully they can drink water. He nudges Harley out of the way, briefly tempted to try feeding the kittens on the bench, but worried about them falling off. They’re both tabbies with patches of white, although right now they resemble drowned rats, fur in clumped tufts where some of it is still damp. Tinned fish is apparently a hit, although the bowl of water is maybe too big and a bit of a mystery. Harley is sitting to the side and just watching; he’s very well trained and quiet, nothing like the dogs Tom remembers from his childhood.

              He pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of the three animals and throws it into the family group chat for Sarah and Melissa before he realizes his fatal error.

              “Fuck.”

              “What’s wrong now?” Mav asks and he startles a little, takes in the tiny little red scratches across Mav’s chest and stomach as he ties off the drawstring of his sleep pants.

              “I just sent a picture of them all to the group chat…”

              “Oh fuck…” Mav says with a laugh and Tom groans.

              “I know!”

              “There’s no getting rid of them now. You’ve let them know…”

              “I know!”

              His phone is vibrating and pinging with notifications and he looks at Mav and releases a resigned sigh.

              “Well, I’m glad you let the, ha, cat out of the bag rather than me.”

              “Haha. What do you even do with a kitten?”

              “I don’t have a fucking clue.”

              “We helped raise three kids to adulthood, we can manage a couple of kittens…Right?”

              “I mean. Sure. Yeah. Of course. You going to answer any of their calls or messages?”

              “No. They can wait until tomorrow.”

              Clearly happier with food and water the kittens have stopped crying, and now seem intent on exploring. Tom quickly goes and shuts the doors to all the side rooms before he makes himself comfortable on the sofa, Mav immediately leaning into his side and passing him a glass of wine. Harley has curled up on the bed under the coffee table, eyes barely open as he watches Tom and Maverick both. He simply blinks slowly when the kittens start climbing over him, just lets out the same resigned huff of breath and Tom has never felt such solidarity with an animal before.

…           …           …

              Bradley hasn’t been summoned to a family meeting before, but it takes about thirty-six hours to find a time when they’re all free and he cannot wait to watch Tamsin and Petra whine and moan about how they finally got pets now that they’ve all moved out of home. He’s a couple of minutes late in joining the video call, popping in his earbuds and smiling at his phone as their faces all pop up in smaller screens.

              “It isn’t fair!”

              “You always said we weren’t allowed pets!”

              “And I stand by that. You changed your mind every other week.”

              “We move away and you got three!”

              “Yes. We decided to replace all of you with animals.”

              “I dibs being the dog!”

              “Well, his name is Harley…”

              “Like the motorbike?”

              Bradley watches as Ice opens his mouth, closes it again. There have been a lot of questions asked and answered, and the kittens don’t have names, which he suspects is going to be an honor Ice and Mav will let the girls have. Because he’s pretty sure they didn’t plan on any pets. He knows the dog is a five year old beagle-labrador cross, and he’s seen photos of it before, when Ice started visiting the shelter about six months ago. So maybe they were planning on a pet. Not three of them though.

              “Okay, well if we have a Harley then we need to name one of the kittens Ducati… Du-CAT-i. Get it?”

              There are groans but Bradley grins.

              “Well, if we’re going with that theme than you can name the other Ceccato…”

              “Because you are keeping them, right?”

              “Well, we might find our children visit us more often.”

              As one all three of them protest the call out, because they visit as often as they can, and from the shit-eating grin he can see on Mav’s face he’s clearly winding them up. That said though he might have an idea to make them very happy, remembering times in his teens, staying with Ice and Tamsin and Petra when they were younger. When he was really young. Yeah. He might have to call in some favors.

              “Dad, you have to send me videos, like every time they do something cute… Promise me.”

              “I promise.”

…           …           …

              Tom settles into the middle of the sofa, feels Mav settle further into his side and it’s good to have him home, even if the last week has been a little more chaotic that he anticipated it would be. However they’re settling into a new routine and it feels good. They always wake early, feed the kittens and then go for a run and take Harley with them. He surprised that he quite likes the cats, although their spats of extreme high energy for a few moments are still a little startling.

              He’s spoken to Tamsin earlier that day, wishing her happy birthday. The fact she’s now twenty-one makes him feel old, but also that he’s definitely been suffering from a little empty-nest. Having Mav back this week has helped, but having three animals is definitely going to keep the worst of his loneliness at bay when he’s next alone. Harley lets out a quiet whuff, which Tom now knows means someone is at the door. An alert bark which is surprisingly quiet.

              “I’ll go…”

              “What?”

              “Someone’s about to knock at the door…” Tom says, pressing Mav back onto the sofa, but then he can hear the door opening and he frowns. No one with a key is even in town this weekend.

              “Mav? Ice?”

              “Dad! Papa! We’re here…”

              He doesn’t bemoan his quiet night at all, the fact that all three of his kids have decided to turn up and a quick look at Mav tells his he’s equally surprised that they’re all here.

              “What are you all doing here?”

              “You’re meant to be in Lemoore…”

              “I called in a couple of favors. Just here for the night. Thought you might like to actually see Tamsin for her twenty-first.” He gives Bradley the tightest hug he can manage, because this has his handiwork all over it. “Plus we wanted to mee t the new family members.”

              After they’ve paid an inordinate amount of attention to the kittens and pet Harley he ends up back on the sofa, this time with Tamsin between him and Mav, Bradley on his other side and then Petra stretched out over all four of their laps, demanding the comforter. It’s a tight squeeze but he doesn’t care, it’s so rare these days to have moments like these. Then they’re arguing about what movie to watch before settling on one. While his life may not be perfect, right in this moment, it feels like it is.

[anadrym]

Extended Author's Notes for Left Behind Ch5.

Spoilers!

Chapter title is from "Goodbye" from the Arcane S1 soundtrack.

I know a few of you thought it would take longer for our girls to reunite, and I did originally plan for Caitlyn to take some people out before finding out. But I just couldn't wait. They've been separated for three chapters and they're STILL separated even now.

Completely irrelevant, but Nasir's name was originally Dieter, but I decided I had too many obviously white characters. Petra and Nasir go way back. That's why Nasir gives Caitlyn another chance to back out; he knows Petra sent her, and he knows Petra well enough to know that she did so reluctantly.

Caitlyn is so fucking bad at revenge. She just immediately gives it up for Vi every time and I absolutely love her for it.

Caitlyn shows up mere minutes after the ambush. Very lucky for her. (Convenient coincidences? In my fanfiction? It's more likely than you think.)

Yeah, the guy with the knives totally deserved to die. With the way his crew reacted, this is far from the first time he's brutalized a body.

The man repeatedly stabbing the woman's body was actually inspired by the Purge house at Halloween Horror Nights. There was a room where some guy was straddling a mannequin of the homecoming queen and stabbing her nonstop. I was actually part of a group that got to skip the lines so we could go through all ten houses. I made it through the Purge and the first half of Insidious before I closed my eyes and then I didn't do any of the others. And I slept with the lights on for the next three days.

I probably overuse the bit where Caitlyn breathes before firing her rifle, but snipers do have to control their breathing and I like how it makes the reader slow down. Kinda like slow motion, but in writing.

I never understand why rifles are so shiny. In movies, they always see the glint of the rifle. So Caitlyn's doesn't do that. :)

God, the part where Caitlyn sees Vi for the first time? It makes MY chest tight and I wrote it!

Only one of you mentioned it in the comments, but "Ghost" becomes "Caitlyn" as soon as she realizes that Vi is alive. Vi is not going to remember her name for a while.

"Why didn't she come and find Caitlyn?" - That's the main reason she holds back. Because she knows that, if Vi was able, she would've come looking. So what kept her from doing that?

The idea of Caitlyn forgetting her mother's voice is just heartbreaking to me, and it comes up again much later.

Vi's memory of the spiked weapon is from the ambush in Caitlyn's bedroom back in Chapter 1.

I'm sorry, but just imagine being in Caitlyn's position, finally seeing the love of your life after five years of thinking they were dead, and then having to climb down the side of a building before you can interact with them.

Sorry, but Vi's memory is gonna take a while! It couldn't just come back as soon as she saw Caitlyn! We need more angst!

Vi can't even understand her own name. :(

Remember, this is loosely based on the Feeblemind spell. Vi knows that she trusts Caitlyn, even if she doesn't know why. But she still flinches back from her because... well, it's been five years since anyone touched her with anything other than apathy, distain, or cruelty.

Caitlyn doesn't know what they've done to Vi. She doesn't realize how hard Vi is fighting to disobey. Which will affect how she moves forward, especially with the information she receives in the next chapter.

Basically, the interaction between Caitlyn and Vi's handler is her telling him that she's the assassin known as Ghost and demanding to meet his boss. She surrenders because she's outnumbered and doesn't know what's wrong with Vi. She's trying to get more information and bide her time until they have a better chance to escape.

Yeah, as soon as Caitlyn hears them call Vi "Number 6," she's fucking PISSED. Might have snapped there if she wasn't already disarmed and cuffed.

Teaser for next week:

"I've wanted to meet you for a very long time, Ms. Kiramman," the Baroness says. Her voice is soft, but there is still something powerful in it. "And now, here you are. Perhaps fate brought us together. I am so glad you've come."

Caitlyn interrupts, her own voice like granite. "I'm here for Vi."

The Baroness sighs, smile softening into something sympathetic and regretful. Caitlyn's stomach twists as the woman says, "Yes. Yes, I know you are. Unfortunately, what you're searching for doesn't exist."

[curse-d-owl]

Ive talked about my contempt for Golden Dumpsterfire and 3 Hopes in general for disrespecting Claude and the Golden Deers numerous times so here's how I'd personally fix these problems.

In the process I'll also make changes to Azure Gleam's structure which i will explain in due time.

One of the main problems is that Claude teams up and fights against the wrong people. He teams up with Edelgard who has done nothing but hurt Leicester and fights against Dimitri and Rhea who both work hard to get rid of Fodlan's problems that Claude has issues with. Specifically nationalism, crests, heroes relics, seiros faith, merit vs lineage.

Dimitri and Rhea get rid of nationalism by helping Duscur reclaim their land and respect, Dimitri has consistent conversations with the leader of Duscur and it's people and they allow Petra, a foreign queen who fought for the Empire, to be an active member of their army.

As for the rest Dimitri acknowledges that crests and heroes relics aren't gonna be here forever and that people deserve higher positions like being nobles and knights serving in his army if their up to the task as shown with Ashe and the other commoners in his army.

Not to mention Houses Claude among many other characters condemn Edelgards violent approach to changing Fodlan, which is to kill and conquer.

And lastly neither Dimitri nor Rhea has a valid reason for attacking Leicester by trying to steal their lord's. That plan can easily backfire into Leicester teaming up with Adrestia. They're both mutual victims of the Empire and have the same goals for Fodlan.

So with all of that out the way it's time to start talking about the changes I'd make.

So with all of that in mind there is 0 reason for Claude to side against Dimitri and 0 reason to side with Edelgard.

For starters the only change I'd make to part 1 is that it's Hubert who leads the main assault on Leicester, not Ferdinand. Reason for that I'd that i want Ferdinand and all the black eagles and blue lions to be recruitable just like how the golden deers are recruitable in the other routes.

Now for part 2 it essentially follows the same structure as Azure Gleam which is provoke the empire, retreat into Ailell and finish things off at the Monestary by defeating both Edelgard and Thales.

Now this is personal and subjective but letting Golden Wildfire's second half just be Azure Gleam 2.0 would be a disservice to both routes and especially the golden deers since they already suffer from having the same chapters and structure as Silver Snow in Houses.

So here's where i come up with the solution to change Azure Gleam's structure. Instead of going with a strategic plan to defeat the Empire the circumstances in Azure Gleam allows them to go for an offensive approach. I'd let the 3 way battle between the factions happen earlier in part 2 which gives Dimitri to opportunity to invade Adrestia and finish things off in Enbarr.

Plus this change fits both of their characters better since Dimitri is more on the offensive side of things while Claude is more tactical and cunning.

And one last thing Edelgard being brainwashed into a helpless infant by Thales gets removed. Straight up. That junk doesn't benefit anyone in anyway and only hurts the story and cast.

So yeah that's it for my attempt at fixing Golden Wildfire. If you've made it this far is like to thank you for taking the time to read what i have to say. If you have opinions of your own feel free to share it with me :)

[zekescherries]

humanity's strongest, levi's calm expression wavers. what a joke.

isabel, furlan, petra, oluo, the rest of his first squad and now erwin. . .how could the strongest soldier fail to protect the ones he loved most? he didn't deserve the title, he was sure of it.

every death is a new weight on his shoulders, holding him down. their deaths weren't in vain, they mean't something. they mean't something to this world.

or is that something he just said to make himself feel better? he can't tell but now as the saddened ackerman stands here he has to make a choice.

armin or erwin?

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2024: broken promises and one last hope

Hello.

I know this post took a bit longer than usual, but I needed some time to collect my thoughts about this year’s Eurovision.

Yes, I watched it. Why? Because it wouldn’t have been fair to the artists, who took part in this year’s competition. It’s not because of them that the show was so polarized, so they didn’t deserve to be punished for that.

Also, I needed to see how far the EBU would go. I needed to see and I needed to remember. And everyone needs to remember too. Remember this year and remember what happened, when the EBU followed its policy so strictly, it ended up making the most tense show I’ve ever watched.

I will share my thoughts and I will try my best to do it effectively. It won’t be a short post and I apologize, but I tried my best.

_________________________________

Sweden: was it worth it?

We all had big expectations for this year’s show. There was Petra Mede, everyone’s favorite host. And Sweden is well known for doing great shows. This year should've been great.

 The first semifinal starts and we're bombarded by greatest hits of the past. Cool for five minutes, boring after one hour.

I’m disappointed: I expected something better from Sweden, not them recycling something already done in the past. But that’s what they did by sending Loreen back to win again, so I suppose it’s fitting.

Okay, so we have Johnny Logan, Ireland’s three-time winner. Is he singing one of his songs? No, he’s singing Tattoo.

Weird choice. Why call Ireland’s three-time winner to perform a Swedish song? Why call a representative of the nation who won as many times as you and make him sing one of your songs and not one of his?

If I were to think badly, I would think this was Sweden's subtle way to impose its supremacy on Ireland. A sort of: "You're not the best anymore, I reached you and I will surpass you. You will succumb to me". But Sweden would never do something like that, wouldn’t it?

Then we have the second semifinal. And we have a song, which can be resumed as follows: “We know we stole Finland’s victory last year, but instead of admitting there is a problem with the voting system (and the entire system for that matter), we’d much rather prefer to whine, because people have been sooooo mean with us. And yes, we will keep sending the same stuff every time, because it makes us win. At the end of the day, all we want is to keep winning, so shut up and love us.”

I don’t know you, but the line between being self-aware of your flaws and openly admitting all you want is to win (all while insulting the country that almost won last year, by saying that their show would’ve been so stupid ah ah, while ours is so cool, see how cool we are?) is very thin. And even the greatest hosting country of all time can succumb to its own hubris once in a while.

Then we reach the final. Okay, the semifinals' shows were meh and left me with a bitter aftertaste, but hey, that’s the final! It must be awesome!

After two hours, I was looking at the clock, waiting for the entire thing to be over.

Did we really need a thirst song about Martin Österdahl, the most hated EBU Executive Supervisor? Was it really necessary to sexualize this man? Is it because he’s Swedish? Is it because Sweden needs to kiss the ESC’s ass even more? Or is it because the ESC really really wants to make this guy more popular, considering people hate him?

After hinting at them in every possible way for the entire week, in the end we got AI-generated ABBA. Well, shoutout to the real ABBA for not participating in this: last year they said they would’ve not taken part and they didn't. Respect.

Alcazar were the biggest surprise of the entire week, because they are a piece of my childhood and Crying at the Discoteque is still a huge bop. But heaven forbid we having fun for more than five minutes, so they were sent away immediately.

At the end of the day, my question is: was it worth it, Sweden? Was it worth winning seven times, only to celebrate with the most boring show ever?

I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I missed Portugal’s show. Yes, the show I called “torture”, because they kept spamming the entire country for days.

You know what? I’d rather watch a country constantly spam its beauties and its culture, than another greatest hit compilation. By god, you’re hosting Eurovision. That's your chance to display your country on the greatest window Europe has to offer. And you use that chance, to repeat over and over “Eurovision good” and talk about it only.

I know Eurovision is good and cool and I love the reminder... but please, give us something more, Sweden. Something you. Listening to a country say: “We don’t have anything else to offer besides Eurovision” does not make me laugh. It makes me sad. It's not that you don't have anything else to offer, Sweden: it's that you don't want to show what else you have to offer.

You have gorgeous natural places (Höga Kusten and Gotland just to name two). You have the second-longest bridge in Europe and it's fucking impressive. Your capital is full of wonderful islands - and I found out there are tours with buses that go both on the ground and in the water. How fucking cool is that?!

Do we want to talk about culture? Your coffee breaks are literally part of your lifestyle and even have a specific name. You have that great concept of lagom which a lot of people should learn too. You are full of beautiful art and funny foods - heck, there is even a Disgusting Food Museum in Malmö! And I didn't find out thanks to Eurovision, but thanks to fucking Tripadvisor.

It's just sad, you know? Don't underestimate yourself so much, Sweden. You have a ton to offer besides this show.

_________________________________

 The Netherlands: victim of paradoxes

Europapa was one of fan’s favorite songs and of course it was: a catchy tune, funny singer, fun and happiness for a song that was both a celebration of Europe and a touching love letter from Joost to his parents.

Of course it got people’s hearts. We all love the story of a character who comes up with a dream and wants to fulfill it. And if we can, we want to make that dream come true.

So just imagine how devastating it was, to find out Joost has been disqualified. I was minding my own business when I found out and I was shocked, so I can’t even imagine how bad his hardcore fans felt.

The first question was, of course, why. What happened? What could’ve done a man who has always wanted to attend Eurovision, to get disqualified? Not warned, not penalized. Disqualified. What did he ever do, to put in jeopardy his lifelong dream like that?

I don't know if we’ll ever find out the whole truth. All we know is that Joost asked a woman to stop filming him, she refused and kept following him, so he made a “threatening gesture” towards the camera, while not touching her.

Which gesture? No idea. Maybe he showed his middle finger, maybe he tried to lower the camera, maybe he said “fuck you and stop filming me”, maybe he tried to hit the camera. I don’t know. But in this case, I would really like to know - and not just what he did, but how the whole thing went.

If this year taught us something, is the importance of context. If Joost Klein tried to punch the camera is one thing and he should be condemned for that. But if Joost Klein tried to punch the camera after being filmed without his permission, because a woman was harassing him and following him, thus breaking the agreement that wanted him to not be filmed after stage… well, that's another thing.

Sure, he shouldn’t have reacted this way. But you can understand by yourself that snapping at someone out of the blue is one thing and snapping because you’re fed up with harassment is another thing.

Did Joost deserve some punishment? Sure. But did the person filming him without consent deserve punishment too? Of course. If you have to apply punishments, you have to do it equally, not with a double standard. So if he was disqualified, that woman should've been removed from her position too. But as far as I know, she wasn't.

Also, why didn't the EBU tell exactly what happened right from the start? Why refer to it as “an incident” and give only vague explanations? Why not mention Joost's disqualification during the Grand Final? Why did people have to find out through social media and the Grand Final happened as if nothing?

That's weird, that's not the behavior of someone who has nothing to hide. What’s the matter, EBU? Why this weird lack of communication? And why not show the footage of the incident and make everything clear? Now you’re respecting Joost’s right to not be filmed? A bit too late for that, isn’t it?

So yes, in a paradoxical turn of events, Joost Klein got his dream denied by the same show he wanted to be part of. The guy with the most European song ever, the one who stuck to the ESC motto “united by music”, the one who celebrated Europe, the one whose childhood dream was to be part of this European show, got disqualified by the same European show.

What can I say? I just hope karma will do its job for him. If he's innocent, he will get good things. If he's in the wrong, he will get his punishment.

In the meantime, you can still support him, stream his songs and check his albums. Here on YouTube you will find basically all of them, since it doesn’t seem he has a YouTube channel (yet).

And if his fans still find everything absurd and unjustifiable, don't worry: if Eurovision 2023 (and all previous ones) taught us something, is that you don’t have to be the winner, to steal people’s hearts. Sometimes, you just need one performance.

And this one stole everyone's heart.

Also, since apparently paradoxes were not enough, it seems like European flags were banned for being political? European flags during a European show in a European country in the European continent.

Uh?!

EBU, one question: on which continent do you think you’re in? Spoiler: it’s not America.

_________________________________

EBU’s biggest mistake

Let's talk a bit about the current global situation, shall we? No, you can't escape from it.

So, unless you lived under a rock until now, you know that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has been going on for a long time and that recently it intensified again because of the new Gaza conflict. Israel pretends to not have committed war crimes, the rest of the world tells them to stop committing them, there are protests everywhere and people are ready to jump at each other’s throats to defend one country or the other.

Now, you’re the EBU. You say your show isn’t political. And that’s true: Eurovision isn’t political. Eurovision is a musical competition. It has nothing to do with politics.

But Eurovision takes place on planet Earth. And, as said, the situation on planet Earth is a bit tense right now. So you already know that, if you stick one single finger in this situation, you will get BIG reactions from the public.

So, what do you do, when Israel asks you to participate?

a) You tell Israel, very politely and very professionally, that you appreciate their application, but cannot accept them this year, because the situation is what it is and letting them in would bring chaos and potential dangers into a contest whose main foundation is being safe and non-political.

b) You let Israel in and let Palestine participate too, at least in spirit through people’s voices and decisions to mention it. This way, no one can say you’re taking sides, since you’re letting both sides participate.

c) You let Israel in and censor everything and everyone else, so not only you bring chaos inside your non-political contest, but make it even more political than ever and end up taking sides too.

Guess what EBU chose.

In order to stick to their non-political policy, EBU put blinders on and ignored the rest of the world. In order to let one country in because "Eurovision is non-political, so everyone is allowed to participate", they brought politics into their non-political show.

And no, it's not unexpected: it was obvious that, by letting Israel in, politics would've entered the competition too. This country and politics are bound tightly now, because of the current situation: of course if you let one in, the other will enter too.

And with politics, all the chaos of the current situation found its way in too. And that means EBU literally put in danger:

25 artists and their teams coming from all over Europe

the same Israeli gal and her team

all the tourists coming from all over the world to attend Eurovision

Swedish people who were living their normal lives and were suddenly surrounded by protests and chaos

the protesters who could've been involved in potential clashes

members of the police who also could've been involved in potential clashes

“But hey”, you might say, “nothing bad happened, in the end! You’re being too negative!”

Sure, thankfully nothing bad happened. But the risk was there, it was huge and it's not that "it would've been here anyway": the risk could've been completely avoided, by applying just a bit more human reasoning.

But even after politics found its way into the show, even after that, EBU could've saved the whole thing. If only one human being with a functioning brain said something like: "Okay, politics is in, even if we didn't want to. Now all we can do is let the other side of the conflict speak too, while we stay neutral".

But no, oh no. Mentioning Palestine and ceasefire means politics and our show isn't political. So let's ignore the fact that our decision to follow the policy verbatim led to politics being inside the show and let's keep applying the rules as if nothing: no one should mention politics, so Eric Saade cannot perform with the kefiah, Bambie Thug should remove their messages about ceasefire, Iolanda cannot keep her nails with Palestine's colors (seriously?!) and people's booing should be drowned with anti-booing technology.

You know, it's incredibly fascinating how EBU's stubborn decision to strictly follow the rules not only allowed politics inside the show, but led to the EBU itself taking a political stand, all while censoring every other opposition. EBU's rigid, mechanical application of the policy led to the EBU contradicting the same policy it was oh-so-religiously following. By making sure the show wasn't political, EBU applied censorship and not only made it even more political, but politically oriented towards one side of the conflict.

I don't know who the EBU members are and if they're human beings with functioning brains or just AI-generated bots, but please: stop following the rules like mindless robots and start using human reasoning in your decision-making process. And use common sense too, because if an idiot like me could foresee the consequences, you should've been able to foresee them too.

_________________________________

Israel: bullying cannot buy you victory

Now, we have Israel in. And the Israeli gal and her team perfectly know that their sole presence will lead to controversy and political stands.

So, if you were in their place, what would have you done?

kept a low profile during the entire competition;

showed at least an ounce of regret for unintentionally putting everyone in danger;

bullied everyone and tried to find any possible chance to beef with the other artists;

Guess what the Israeli team chose.

During the entire competition, these people kept harassing other artists, filming them without consent, calling them names, misgendering them. They kept this arrogant behavior, as if they owned the place and all other countries were just invited to their show.

And if there’s something I hate more than arrogance, is arrogance with a side dish of bullying.

So, to all the people whining because “Martina Satti yawned while Eden was speaking and Joost hid his face”: if that’s bullying, for you, you have a great life and I envy you. I wish I was bullied like that in school. But my bullying was more like… well, calling me names, harassing me and listening/spying what I was doing without my consent.

But apparently harassing the competitors wasn’t enough, so Israel decided to harass the viewers too, by begging for votes. Yes, they begged for votes. Yes, they spammed ads all over YouTube. Yes, I got one too and it was on a Eurovision-unrelated video and it made my blood boil. Yes, they were this desperate. And yes, that’s pathetic.

Also: is this legal? Is this allowed? EBU, are we sure this is part of the rules you follow so strictly? And please, tell me: is harassment also part of those same rules?

But do not worry: in the end, karma found its way. And despite the arrogance, the harassment, the tons of money spent to beg people, none of these means was enough to grant Israel the victory they oh-so-desperately wanted.

On the contrary: in a wonderfully ironic twist, the winner was one of the artists they kept misgendering and harassing. Mmmh, delicious irony, my favorite.

So thank you Israel for wasting money all over YouTube, I hope they were a lot. Thank you to all the people who made a political vote, you really got the spirit of the show, I hope you will never watch it again. Thank you Israeli team for harassing everyone and making an already tense competition even more tense. And, most importantly, thank you EBU for bringing politics in a non-political show: great fucking job, I hope someone will get fired.

And now, let's finally talk about music. Israel's song was nothing special, just the umpteenth bland song I've listened to 200 times already. And we all know it didn't get 300+ votes because everyone was in love with it. People's taste is not so bland and boring. And the final points proved it.

(On a side note, if I were Eden, I would be offended by these votes. At least the people who voted for Loreen last year didn't do it because of Sweden, but because of her talent. This year, I doubt that the people who voted for Eden gave a shit about her talent at all)

_________________________________

France: I need to make some apologies

Listen, you have to understand: we Italians know that French singers are good. We laugh, we say they’re “so French” and they keep Frenching and everything, but we know they rarely disappoint.

The problem is that France is good at the same things we’re good too. We’re both good at soccer, we’re good with food, wine, fashion. And we’re both good at singing.

So, France, remember: we might make fun of you but my god, your artists are amazing. When Slimane sang that part acapella two meters away from his microphone, I literally got shivers. He is a fucking great singer, his voice is incredible and he deserved more than 7 points.

I know French Frenching, but we should give credit when necessary:

_________________________________

Estonia, Spain and basically everyone else: two words and more apologies

Estonia 20th and Spain 22nd? Super robbed. The ignominy. The audacity. They served us beautiful Estonian language and a Spanish gal with a soft voice and that's how they got rewarded? They deserve more and better and people are stupid.

Also, I don’t know what kind of beef Greeks have with Marina, but she was good and doesn’t deserve all of this hate. Also because most of the complaints I've heard about make no sense, so… uh?!

Germany: fucking finally, people gave you votes. Thank you for persevering, your song was truly nice and I liked it too.

Armenia: yes, top 10! For great, lively, wonderful Balkan rhythm! You deserve it and your country deserves love and appreciation.

Italy: I’m okay with this result. Angelina’s performance was better, compared to the one in the semi-finals (also, better costume too, the other was too revealing and too much in general). 7th place is fine.

Ireland: I know that’s not a song for everyone and okay, fine, maybe it’s nothing special either… but my god, have you seen the performance they put on? A-ma-zing. It was interesting, captivating and full of details. And the narrative is perfect too: you can see how Bambie slowly befriends the demon and ends up killing it. It was truly enjoyable to watch. So I’m glad it got 6th place, they deserve an even higher position.

Ukraine: please keep slaying, your artists are always so great and they keep proving it every goddamn time. Also, that moment when Ukraine surpassed Israel was delicious: money truly cannot buy you love and support.

The UK: seriously, why are you whining about people not giving you points? The song was okay, but nothing truly special. Still, you got 18th place! What should Norway say, instead? Poor Norway, it has all my sympathy, the song wasn't this bad.

And now, to you all: you know what to do. Follow your favorites, stream their songs, shower them with love. Eurovision is over, but these artists are not disappearing. They are still out there, making beautiful music. Go check on them.

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Croatia: “the audience will come to my concert, not the jury”

Baby Lasagna was a blessing and as Italian, I want to properly apologize for giving it 16 points total only. You deserved 24, shame on us for being stupid morons.

Croatia gave us a beautiful song, from a beautiful artist with a great message and upbeat sounds. And I’m not the only one who thinks this, because the rest of the public agrees with me. Marko gave us pure joy and entertainment in an evening that was mostly sadness, tension and boredom.

And yes, it’s sad he didn’t win… but he knew it, before Switzerland’s points have been announced. Look at his face, during the final voting: as soon as Petra said Switzerland only needed 182 points, he realized he was going to lose. You can see him understanding and accepting it. He knew Switzerland would get these points. I knew. Everybody knew.

So no, this wasn’t like last year: last year, it was a one-on-one game between Finland and Sweden and a tug-of-war between public and jury. This year, we had a lot of favorites. Marko was the favorite, but if Joost wasn’t disqualified, maybe the points would’ve been even more distributed.

But you know what? Marko actually got the best possible result you can get in Eurovision. People adore you, you become a legend and your country doesn’t have to deal with EBU’s bullshit. You get the best of both worlds and it doesn’t cost you a cent.

Also, consider that Marko accepted his 2nd place graciously and maturely, went back home and was welcomed by basically the whole Zagreb (Let3 were there too! Kings supporting a king, very fitting). And in an interview, he said something like “I don’t care about the jury points, because the jury doesn’t come to my concerts”. Which proves he is:

a mood

a king

the truth oracle

everyone’s spirit animal

the winner of the people

the coolest guy ever

So, Croatia: I understand your disappointment, the jury system REALLY needs to change. And no, you won't host Eurovision next year. But consider that you're everyone's favorite country now. And you won't have to deal with whatever shit will happen in 2025! So sit back, relax, may your tourism thrive and your quality of life be high.

And if all of you people really enjoyed Baby Lasagna, please consider he has a YouTube channel and there are two other songs, besides Rim Tim Tagi Dim. One criticizes social media and the influencer system, while the other is a piece of great life advice from the title: “Don't hate yourself, but don't love yourself too much”. Thank you, king, for being so real.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, they’re both huge bops.

Do your magic, people: subscribe to his channel, stream his songs, watch his videos, shower him with love and, most importantly, meow back.

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Switzerland: a contest that can live up to its promise

In the end Switzerland won. And it’s a good victory, you know? You might not like the song, but consider that Nemo sang pop, rap and opera, all while jumping on that rotating platform-thingy and running all over the stage. And they even bent back, while keeping a high note and rotating. I can’t even keep a high note by standing still, let alone by doing all the stuff they did.

Also, this is the first victory for a non-binary person, so great for them. And basically no one knew Nemo before Eurovision, so the show came back to its roots, by giving fame to an unknown artist.

Last but not least, in an ironic turn of events, this victory is the least political thing that happened on that stage. In the most polarized, political show ever, the winner is the quintessential neutral country. Almost poetic, in a way.

And this victory is also a huge slap in the face for the EBU: in the end, it wasn't its rigid adherence to the policy that made the show non-political, it was the jury’s vote. How the tables have turned.

But there is another reason why this victory is good after all and it’s because it’s a hopeful one. The winner isn’t famous, they didn’t harass anyone, they didn’t use money to win, they brought nothing besides their identity, a kind heart and a flag they had to sneak in because of the weird “flag rule” EBU pulled out.

And I would like to remind you that, during their victory speech, Nemo said this:

"I hope this contest can live up to its promise and continue to stand for peace and dignity for every person in this world".

I think it’s a speech that tells everything about this year’s show. This year, the contest didn’t live up to its promise: it put people in unnecessary danger, it brought tension, it made it political. EBU’s strictness led to a lot of consequences, the exact ones it tried so desperately to avoid.

As a result, no one enjoyed their time. I didn't enjoy my time. When Sunday came, I was relieved that the week was finally over and I was able to leave Eurovision behind. I didn't feel an ounce of the usual post-Eurovision nostalgia. I was just glad it was over.

And it's sad and unfair, because Eurovision isn't this. Eurovision is a perfect little window of peace and unity, away from the chaos of the world. For a few hours, three evenings a year, we can leave the real problems behind and focus on silly ones, like which country should win, which should be forever ashamed and which artist will become a legend.

This year, it wasn't like that. This year politics found its way in and wrecked everything. What was supposed to be a silly, funny, lighthearted show became so heavily politically charged, it broke under the weight.

And now that I think about it, Nemo breaking the trophy is the perfect metaphorical representation of this year's competition.

Just like that trophy, Eurovision is something frail and beautiful and mishandling can break it. And oh boy, the EBU truly mishandled it. Even if it was an accident, even if it wasn't done on purpose, the trophy is still broken. The show is broken.

But when asked about their broken trophy, Nemo didn't mourn it: Nemo gave words of hope. Maybe the broken trophy can be repaired. And maybe Eurovision can be repaired too.

How? Well, maybe by starting to learn when and how to apply rules. By using common sense and sensibility. And by checking the world outside too. If we want Eurovision to keep being that small window separated from real world problems, we can't just ignore them: we need to check them and react accordingly.

And if we have to break a rule to guarantee peace and safety, then so be it. One broken rule is not as important as safety and unity.

After all, what makes Eurovision isn't a set of rules: it's the artists, with their talents, their messages, their hopes, their voices, their dreams. They are Eurovision. They are the pull that draws everyone in. They are the reason why people are "united by music". Not because a rule orders them to, not because of the EBU: because of these artists.

Maybe the EBU can start from that. Maybe it can start by looking at the human aspect. Maybe it can start by going out and looking around. And maybe it can learn to take more care of the artists who are the foundation of the show.

And maybe, maybe, they will be able to repair Eurovision too.

See you, hopefully, next year.