#peter never has one dog that he can point to and say 'that was The One' not like he can with equines and Erah the unicorn

[rainintheevening]

Peter is absolutely a horse and dog boy. Best rider in the family, makes friends with every dog he meets. Animals tend to settle around him, particularly herd/pack animals; they sense his strength and leadership, but also his kindness and gentleness. He loves to ride bareback, loves to go for a gallop; people think he's very regal on horseback.

Susan doesn't really like any particular animals. She does think foxes, horses, and deer are very pretty, and wants to look after babies. She's not a fan of messes and noises from creatures who aren't babies though.

Ed is a bird boy. Makes friends with the local corvid population, swaps trinkets with them, even gets some of them to carry messages. Definitely dabbles in carrier pigeons for a few years. Learns falconry. Rehabs a few injured birds. His nickname at university is Raven King.

Lucy loves all animals, but she is definitely a cat lady. Friend of bugs, birds, deer, dogs, and stray cats alike, she's always bringing little creatures home and fixing them up with food or medical care. She makes the acquaintance of every stray cat in every neighbourhood she lives in, gives all of them names, knows in a moment who the father(s) of a litter of local kittens are.

[moonstruckme]

I love your headcanons of Tasm!Peter x chubby reader on a fall day, and I was wondering if you’d consider doing something similar but during winter/Christmas? I understand if not, because the headcannons were part of a follower celebration! Or maybe a fic with Peter and reader at a Christmas market? Sending you air kisses! 💋

Thanks for requesting lovely! I didn't really find ways to make this explicitly chubby reader but as always you're welcome to imagine her with any body type you like. Air kisses back! <3

cw: reader has hair long enough to put up/pull back

tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 665 words

Peter finds himself obsessed with your ears. You’ve forgone a hat and your hair is up, but you seem overall less concerned with the crisp wind than Peter is. Every time you stop in a stall, his hands come up over your ears, trying to coax warmth into them. You’re more or less ignoring him. 

“We should get you some earmuffs,” Peter says while you peruse a vendor’s selection of ornaments. 

“Why, when I have you?” 

“Rude.” He pinches the top of your ear. “I’m good for more than that.” 

You step to the side, and Peter follows dutifully, not making his point very well. 

“You’re the one who wants to do this,” you argue good naturedly. “My ears are fine. Also, we’re supposed to be finding things for other people, not ourselves.” 

Peter lifts one hand away from your ear, blowing hot air into his cupped hand. You jump and squeal, ticklish, apologizing hastily to the vendor when she looks your way. 

“Stop that,” you hiss at Peter, face still warm with the echo of your smile. When you take his hands and use them to pull him closer Peter doesn’t resist, his arms draping over your shoulders and his front against your back. 

He kisses your cheek complaisantly. “If I bought them for you they wouldn’t be for myself.” 

“Peter. Focus.” You hold up a small ornament. “Do you think your aunt would like this? She really likes elephants, right?” 

“She does,” Peter allows, “but she’s got, like, ten jillion elephant ornaments already.” 

You frown. “Do you think that means she might want more?” 

He weighs this. “Maybe. Her tree’s gonna collapse, though.” 

“This one’s light. It won’t be our fault.” You hold onto the ornament. Peter grins and smushes his lips to your face again. You squeeze his hands, turning your face like you’re going to kiss him but stopping when something catches your eye. “Oh.” Your voice bends with adoration. “Look at this.” 

You reach out to pull an ornament off the wall. It’s a small wooden bird, intricate, with strings attached to its wings and belly. Its body has been painted with tiny, meticulous brushstrokes to give it feathers of various colors. You pull gently on the string, and its wings move up and down. 

“That is cool,” Peter says. 

You’re charmed, eyes soft and happy. It’s the way you look out the window when it’s snowing or at dogs walking past you on the street. “It’s so lovely.” 

Peter has the urge to kiss you silly. “It is.” 

“Do we know anyone that would want this?” 

“You, obviously.” 

You give Peter a sideways smile paired with a playful glare. “Anyone else.” 

He hugs you close, mouth pulling to one side as he thinks. “I don’t think so, sweetheart. I mean, it’s really cool, but I don’t know anyone who would like it as much as you.” 

You pull the string again, watching the wooden bird’s wings flap ruefully. Peter knows you’ll never get it for yourself. 

“Hey,” he says, “let’s go get some shitty hot chocolate. I’m freezing.” 

Your smile renews. “You are not.” 

“Fine, you got me. I want to get you a hot chocolate because I’m worried your face is gonna freeze. Please?” 

“Okay.” You return the ornament to its hook, dotting a kiss on Peter’s cheek and gathering up the ones you’ve already decided to get. “Let me just buy these and we can go.” 

You know your boyfriend well enough to be suspicious of him. You keep a close eye on Peter as you pay for your gifts, chatting with the vendor and beaming when she gives you a little pouch with a ribbon for each one. He smiles guilelessly and lets you take him by the hand to pull him with you out of the stall. 

Fortunately, Peter is quicker than you give him credit for. His cash is on the counter and your ornament safely in his pocket before you turn the corner.

[forestdeath1]

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 1. Appearance

In the canon, he's described as handsome 3 times from Harry's point of view - but never pretty. By the way, Harry has only described four people as handsome (+ Tom Riddle, Cedric Diggory and Gellert Grindelwald).

"Sirius was tall and handsome. He loped with an easy grace, his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face."

"Beside him was Sirius, carelessly handsome, his slightly arrogant face so much younger and happier than Harry had ever seen it alive."

"Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so."

"Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James’s nor Harry’s could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn’t seem to have noticed."

"He's still handsome, isn't he, even after Azkaban?" (Tonks about Sirius, Pottermore)

So, Sirius was handsome, but definitely not pretty. The word handsome can be used for all genders, highlighting attributes like strength, elegance, or a more classic form of beauty.

His height is described as tall several times. James is described as the same height as Harry in the Deathly Hallows, meaning at the time of his death James was as tall as Harry in the 7th book: “James was exactly the same height as Harry”. He was described as tall in later books but not as tall as other characters like Dumbledore, Ron, Sirius, Draco, Tom Riddle, Bill.

In England, as in most Western countries, a man is usually considered tall if he is over 6 feet. Typically, very tall is considered to be 6 feet 3 inches and above. So, James could be somewhere from 6 to 6'3", and Sirius taller, say 6'3"-6'4", Remus possibly under 6', but not short, since Harry doesn't note his height at all.

"To Sirius’s right stood Pettigrew, more than a head shorter, plump and watery-eyed, flushed with pleasure at his inclusion in this coolest of gangs, with the much admired rebels that James and Sirius had been."

The average head length of an adult, regardless of gender and age, usually about 8.7 to 9.8 inches. So, Peter was noticeably shorter.

6'3"-6'4" is indeed very tall. (When fanon gives Remus a height of 6.7, I wonder, have you often seen such giants in real life? My granddad is 6'8" – and he's huge to me, frighteningly so.)

After Azkaban and in the fifth book, he has long hair, but in the fourth book, when Sirius is doing well and is relaxing somewhere in the south, he has short hair.

"Sirius looked different – the hair was short and clean now, Sirius’ face was fuller, and he looked younger, much more like the only photograph Harry had of him, which had been taken at the Potters’ wedding."

"Sirius, when he still had short hair" (Moody about Sirius in the Order of the Phoenix photo)

Though in the story about Sirius and James for the auction, Sirius had long hair in 1977:

"The one who had been driving had long black hair; his insolent good looks reminded Fisher unpleasantly of his daughter’s guitar-playing, layabout boyfriend."

I prefer him with long hair, so that's usually what I go with.

Build isn't described. We know Regulus was definitely smaller than Sirius, but nothing specific about Sirius himself.

"Regulus was instantly recognisable as the boy sitting in the middle of the front row: he had the same dark hair and slightly haughty look of his brother, though he was smaller, slighter and rather less handsome than Sirius had been."

His animagus form is a bear-like dog of huge size, but that’s a weak argument.

"The enormous, bear-like dog bounded forwards."

Perhaps canonically Sirius was naturally inclined to muscle (i.e., tall and muscular rather than lanky, because lankiness usually suggests skinniness. Regulus, likely, was lanky), but since he probably didn't engage in activities like workouts, he wasn't exactly buff. Muscles don't just appear out of thin air, but some people are naturally more muscular. Basically, a normal build that doesn't need any special description (not bulky, not skinny, just normal, but tall).

He definitely doesn’t have any tattoos described, but it's unlikely Harry would have inspected every part of his body for tattoos... So, I don’t quite get it when someone says "Sirius didn’t have tattoos". It's a blank slate.

[leclerc-s]

paint the town red - part eleven

YOU AND ME WE'D BE A BIG CONVERSATION

series masterlist

SUMMER BREAK 2024

tony stark i expect every single one of you at the lake house for the next few weeks.

bianca stark-potts i can't. sorry dad. tony stark you can't? what do you mean you can't? you don't have work for the next few weeks. bianca stark-potts i have plans

tony stark WITH FUCKING WHO?

bianca stark-potts with my boyfriend

may parker oh how exciting! where are you going?

bianca stark-potts i'm not saying because my dad will literally track me down.

pepper potts have fun

james rhodes use protection!

harley keener and that is the sound of tony fainting. peter parker and that other sound was tony's unholy screeching.

biancastark_potts and charles_leclerc have posted new stories

amore mio (my love)

something about her looking at the view but i'm looking at her

liked by harryosborn, charles_leclerc, katebishop and others

biancastark_potts ¿qué horas son, mi corazón?

comments have been restricted by user

katebishop someone tell the winch to be gone!

samwilson WHO IS HE STARK-POTTS?

peterbparker listen, i'm not saying the old man is spiraling but the old man is spiraling

↳ biancastark_potts oh i know he is, harley is sending me a hour by hour update on him. happy is also complaining.

lilymhe it's 5:39 pm in new york!

↳ biancastark-potts thank you corazón!

yelenabelova i love knowing something stark doesn't.

tonystark WHERE ARE YOU?!

↳ biancastark_potts here, there, everywhere.

↳ tonystark THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER!

steverogers bianca, why is your father trying to track you down at the tower?

↳ biancastark_potts i'm on vacation and he wants to know where i am.

↳ tonystark SHE'S WITH A BOY STEVEN! A BOY!

↳ steverogers she's a fully grown woman anthony. not everyone is harry.

america_chavez the wicked witch of the west is here? someone tell him to fuck off

wandamaximoff having fun?

↳ biancastark_potts yeah

↳ wandamaximoff good. if someone breaks into his apartment, it wasn't us.

↳ biancastark_potts he says it's all good. it's finally clean.

joaquintorres nice apartment, it's not yours.

↳ biancastark_potts shut your trap torres.

↳ joaquintorres TELL ME WHO IT IS!!!

do you have time to talk soon?

i'm out of the country and if i was in the country, the answer would still be no.

we have nothing to talk about.

don't be like that b, i still love you.

this is exhausting. we are never ever getting back together. like ever.

did you just fucking reply with taylor swift lyrics?

i did.

and i have a boyfriend so please leave me alone.

biancastark_potts and charles_leclerc have posted new stories

told him the last one only gave me flowers on anniversaries and he said, "that is not acceptable. you should be given flowers all the time, for no reason."

🎾🎾

kate bishop where's my monegasque man to sweep me off my feet and buy me flowers for no reason??

yelena belova that is gross. who needs love? kate bishop we get it, you're allergic to love. yelena belova i just do not see the point in it. all i need is my dog and i am happy.

maria hill i have to say it, this one is so much better than the last one.

wanda maximoff have you told him about harry?

bianca stark-potts i did, we talked about. it in hungary, when he found out about him.

america chavez she's in looove. she's literally playing paddle with him

natasha romanoff who are you and what have you done to the bianca we all know? you hate sports

bianca stark-potts i don't like tennis or baseball. they're boring sports. i can enjoy soccer or football. but i hate participating in sports. bianca stark-potts he also told me, "i have to train somehow" and i knew andrea would be on my ass if this man didn't do some training

hope van dyne he bought you flowers? for no reason?

bianca stark-potts yup. he disappeared for like 20 minutes and when he came back he was holding a bouquet of tulips in his hand.

kate bishop again where's my monegasque man??

bianca stark-potts he has a brother?? kate bishop he doesn't seem like my type.

pepper potts i'm glad you're happy bianca.

bianca stark-potts thanks mom!!

bianca stark-potts by the way, he says hello!

bianca stark-potts and he said that if nat and wanda break into his apartment to knock, his brother is staying over because his apartment got flooded.

natasha romanoff but where's the fun in that?

bianca stark-potts "i'd rather not explain to my mum that my brother died of a heart attack because black widow and the scarlet witch broke into my apartment because i'm dating you" - silly vroom man

wanda maximoff we'll set off the home alarm on purpose as a warning.

bianca stark-potts "that works! thank you! and if my brother gets scared please send a picture of his face. i need new blackmail material." - silly vroom man

america chavez typical sibling move.

yelena belova HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! YOU DON'T HAVE SIBLINGS?

america chavez I HAVE TO SHARE A FLOOR WITH ELI, KATE, AND THE OTHERS WHEN THEY'RE OVER! I LIVE A FLOOR BELOW PETER AND HARLEY! I KNOW THE WAY THAT SHIT WORKS!

george russell you dragged her into a paddle game??

charles leclerc i didn't drag her george.

alex albon he has to train somehow george. can't you see he's too busy wooing a stark-potts?

lando norris WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE NEED TO TRAIN FOR? HE'S LITERALLY 100 POINTS AHEAD OF US ALL?

carlos sainz wrong. he's 73 points ahead of me.

max verstappen is this what you guys felt with me last year?

pierre gasly 100% yuki tsnuoda absolutely oscar piastri totally. daniel ricciardo yes. max verstappen you only drove like 6 races?? daniel ricciardo i wanted to be included maxie!

pierre gasly he's in looove!!

charles leclerc shut up?

oscar piastri he bought her flowers. i saw the instagram story.

lando norris STAND UP CHARLES!!

george russell and i thought alex was the biggest simp. turns out it was charles.

logan sargeant oh come on, this guy had the worst year of his career last year, let him have this.

charles leclerc thank you logan!

max verstappen then tell him to stop flirting with me??

yuki tsunoda that is like asking me to stop loving food. it is impossible. carlos sainz no one will ever love anything as much as yuki loves food

tony stark hey, how y'all doin?

bianca stark-potts get off my dad's phone samuel.

tony stark WHO THE FUCK IS HE??

carlos sainz oh boy can't wait until they find out. tony stark TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW SAINZ!!

isaiah atkins oh my god, when will my nightmare end??

peter parker NEVER BITCH!!

charles leclerc you should've never taken the job then?

isaiah atkins yeah, you would like that wouldn't you? charles leclerc oh fuck you.

harley keener your girlfriend does that enough for you.

tony stark LECLERC HAS A GIRLFRIEND??

peter parker SINCE WHEN DOES LORD PERCEVAL HAVE A GIRLFRIEND??

harley keener have neither of you seen his stories?? he's been with a girl all break??

tony stark bianca come home! the children (america, mj, kate and me) miss you!

bianca stark-potts i literally hate you so much samuel.

sebastian vettel i can't wait until this exact text bites all of you in the ass

ollie bearman you're included seb. we ALL know.

tony stark know what?? what am i missing? arthur leclerc ignore him. he's in summer break mode still. ollie bearman your brother is literally a better liar than you.

NETHERLANDS 2024

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WE'RE BACK PEOPLE!! I GOT CONTROL OF THE ACCOUNT AGAIN!! EVERYONE SAY HALLELUJAH!!

SPOTTED: lightning mcqueen with mater

SPOTTED: spongebob and patrick, i'll let you decide who's who.

enjoy this picture of tony because he pissed me off.

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strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

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¡leclerc-s speaks! this one's a little short, but i swear the next one will be longer. it lowkey sucks too but oh well, the next one will be better, also this serves as a reminder that yelena is canonically aroace!!!!

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[princeescaluswords]

Found Family?

In the last few days, I came across a really nice gifset celebrating Isaac, Erica and Boyd, but at the same time I was informed about someone arguing that Derek was a better alpha than Scott. I know that everyone loves to reconfigure the so-called Beta Trio into some sort of "found family" archetype and by doing so pretend that Derek Hale made these teenagers' lives better because they listened to him, but I feel it's important to remember that is not what happened.

First of all, the Beta Trio was not a Beta Trio; it was a Beta Quartet. Derek Hale bit four teenagers and when one turned out to be defective, he abandoned Jackson like a cruel dog owner dropping a sick puppy on the side of the highway so he didn't have to take care of him. "You've always been a snake, Jackson, just not the one we're looking for." Yeah, top-grade found-family parenting right there.

Second of all, they were soldiers, not family members. Members of the fandom may dislike -- and they do! -- when Scott yells at the New Hale Pack that Derek's just made them into a bunch of guard dogs, but they forget that that is functionally what they become. The first thing that Derek had them do was beat the crap out of Scott. Derek used Erica for espionage ("I have someone else in mind for you"). Then they kidnapped Stiles. Then they kidnapped Jackson. Then they tried to murder Lydia. Then they tried to murder Jackson.

There is exactly one scene where Boyd, Erica, or Isaac do something for themselves, and that's in Abomination (2x04) where Boyd and Erica attend the lacrosse game. "Derek isn't going to like this!" Erica warns.

Third and most importantly, Derek built a pack for his sake, not for theirs. Even if he did it because he was lonely, he still did it for himself. He watches Gerard declare war, he yells at Scott that this is what the Argents do, but he still goes ahead and recruits Isaac, Erica and Boyd. He also has no idea how to beat Gerard, which he literally says out loud after Peter explains that Gerard is winning. "Tell me something I don't know." He also knows the Alpha Pack is coming. Since the fandom likes to tell so much from glances, examine the look on his face when Boyd and Erica tell him they found another wolf pack in the forest. That's not surprise; that's fear. He wasn't prepared for the Alpha Pack yet, but he doesn't say anything but "You're not leaving; you're running." Once Boyd and Erica die, and once he can dump Isaac off on Scott, Derek never mentions any of them again.

This analysis is pretty harsh on Derek, but as I've always said, there's no need for a redemption arc if the character never does anything wrong. And as for why Scott is a better alpha, that's easy, too:

Scott didn't recruit. Of the thirteen Betas that Scott could be said to have over the course of the series and movie (Stiles, Derek, Allison, Isaac, Lydia, Kira, Malia, Liam, Mason, Hayden. Corey, Alec, and Eli), three of them were friends first (Stiles, Allison, and Kira), five of them joined out of admiration or were invested in what the pack was trying to do (Isaac, Lydia, Derek, Mason and Corey), and five of them were members rescued from peril (Malia, Liam, Hayden, Alec, and Eli). He didn't go looking for new members -- he found them, which actually makes it a found family.

Fandom should also compare how Scott treated Liam, the beta he didn't want to bite suffering from a mental disorder, with how Derek treated Jackson. The only time that Scott even hesitated to act as Liam's alpha was after Liam had beaten Scott to the point of death.

They were Scott's pack; they were his friends. Members of the fandom complain that Scott didn't train his pack or put the pack as a unit first. Absolutely. He didn't see them as soldiers. In Battlefield (2x11), when Stiles says he can't do anymore, Scott doesn't press him even though he needs all the help he can get. Scott doesn't want to bring Isaac with him to meet with Deucalion in Frayed (3x05). Liam doesn't have to be with them if he doesn't want to be in A Promise to the Dead (4x11). They hang out, they go to parties, they study like high schoolers are supposed to do. "While we're trying not to die, we still need to live."

Compare how Derek treated Erica and Boyd when they want to leave in Battlefield to how Scott treats Malia in Damnatio Memoriae (5x12). There is a vast difference between Derek insisting that they need him "Yeah, but I told you how to survive. You do it as a pack. And you're not a pack without an Alpha." and Scott explaining that he needs her. "What if I told you that you were the only one I have left?"

Scott built a pack to help others, not himself. Some critical thinker on X announced that "they all left him" about Scott's pack, which somehow proves Derek was better. They did leave (though most of them came back when he needed them), because he's their Alpha, not their owner. They have lives. Isaac couldn't take Beacon Hills anymore and left. Liam moved to somewhere in Asia. Stiles joined the FBI. Lydia founded a company. When he led them into battle -- and Scott did -- he did it because someone innocent was going to die if someone didn't do something -- whether it was the victims of Gerard and the Kanima, or the Darach and the Alpha Pack, of the Dead Pool, of the Dread Doctors, of the Wild Hunt. The pack came together under his leadership to protect innocents.

I don't understand how parts of the fandom can watch the show and argue that Derek's betas were better off as his betas or that Derek was a better alpha than Scott. Even if you edit out all of Scott's positive traits, as parts of the fandom tend to do, even if you erase Scott entirely, as parts of the fandom want to do, Derek's methods were less than constructive, Derek's motives were selfish, and Derek's end results were less than optimal.

[peterparkouryo]

dream palace. | p.p imagine

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️

prompt: Movie night with your boyfriend turns into something more.

warnings: fluff, making out, no smut because i suck at writing it (mentions of it)

word count: 1.7k

a/n: i am extremely sorry for not uploading anything last week, really busy with captivated habits two and rebound three. enjoy this lil fic i made this weekend

Every Friday was movie night. It was a traditional thing you and your boyfriend, Peter did, even before the two of you started dating.

Sometimes on a rare occasion, your two other friends would join you, but since MJ and Ned weren't a couple, it almost felt like they were third wheeling whenever the two of you would drift your focus away from the movie playing and onto each other.

You were almost glad that on most Friday nights, it was just you and Peter. It gave you the opportunity to focus less on the movie and more on each other, which in a logical sense, defeats the entire purpose of a "movie night".

Today, rather it be fortunate or unfortunate, wasn't one of those days, and the moment you opened the door of your apartment to Peter's grinning face, and laptop in hand (since you didn't own one and you enjoyed watching it on his rather than the TV in your room), you were ecstatic of his presence. 

He had such a giddy effect on you, it was no wonder with every alone time you two would get, you could never keep yours hands off him.

"So, what movie are we watching?" You questioned the boy, plopping down on your bed as he trailed behind you, the door coming to a close as he did.

"Return of the Jedi, although not my favourite, I figured it's best we get this one out the way." Peter tells you, setting his laptop at the bottom of your bed. You let out a groan of protest, which didn't go unnoticed by him.

You adored Peter's dorkiness, it was one of the many reasons you were dating him, but sometimes it smothered you whenever it was Star Wars related, and you both knew you couldn't really get into the franchise itself no matter if you pretended to or not.

"What?" He asks quite frantically, a small pout forming on his lips.

"This is the fourth Star Wars movie we seen during our movie nights." You pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but the last one didn't really count because we were fu-"

"Okay! But that's different, and that only happened 'cause I didn't want to watch another Star Wars movie." You cut Peter's words off rather quickly as he lets out a laugh.

"No, really?" His voice comes out sarcastic and you roll your eyes.

"Can we just please watching something else?" You pleaded, your first and maybe last attempt at the puppy dog eyes you were giving him.

Peter eyes you for a moment, fighting a debate in his head rather to give in or just see where the night takes him if he insists you have to watch Return of the Jedi, and god knows you and your charm will have him doing the exact opposite as last time.

"Fine." He gives in after another heartbeat of silence, holding back an eye roll at your squeal of happiness.

"What movie did you have in mind?" He grumbles out, opening his laptop to a streaming service.

You think on his words for a minute, not really having a movie that you wanted to watch specifically. In all honesty, anything but a Star Wars movie would do perfectly fine. You say the first movie that comes to your head.

"Clueless." 

"And you say Star Wars is bad." Peter groans and you send the boy a glare.

"Nothing is wrong with Clueless, it's a perfectly good movie with decent comedy." You argue and Peter says nothing as he goes to search for the movie anyhow.

"Yeah, for someone who enjoys cheesy rom coms about rich people." He states back, successfully finding the movie, clicking play.

Thirty or so minutes passes by, the two of you cuddled close together as the laptop settles on Peter's lap, and you don't miss the yawn he lets out as he tries his best to not seem bored of the movie.

You would almost feel bad, but the past few movie nights has been his pickings and rather the two of you would pay attention or not, it was your turn, rightfully.

You feel Peter's figure shift, his hand wrapped around your arm, cuddling you closer as he lets out a bored sigh. You give him a side eye, a very annoyed one before you decide to just ignore his bored state and focus on the movie.

Peter then gives your shoulder a light kiss, running his fingers up and down your arm slowly and it certainly didn't take a rocket scientist to know exactly what he was trying to do.

"Peter." You warned, shrugging his close figure away from you and he smiles at your protests.

"Sorry." The boy apologies sheepishly, and you know all too well that he really wasn't.

After the interaction, a few more minutes pass by and you focus on the movie, or at least you tried to.

"What do you think you're doing?" You feel Peter's hand retreat from underneath your shirt, his hand taking home to your arm where it should had respectfully been anyway.

"I'm not doing anything?" Peter tells you, his voice confused, pretending to be watching the movie.

You roll your eyes at his words, smiling at the thought of Peter being so miserably bored, he'd do anything to distract you from the movie as well.

"Didn't seem that way." You point out, giving him a glance, his eyes refusing to meet yours.

"I know better than to have sex with you during our movie nights." Peter informs and you can tell his words are a clear mocking of the exact thing you do whenever it was a movie of his you didn't want to watch.

You shoot him a glare.

"First of all, I don't do it every time it's a movie you pick, and second of all, Clueless is a lot more entertaining than people in space." You argue, folding your arms over your chest, like a child would.

"I never said you did and this movie is way more boring and has no action." Peter bites back and you chuckle at the adorable pout on his face.

"Would you rather do something else? Like maybe, braid each other's hair, or put on face masks?" You suggest jokingly.

Peter finds no humour in your joke, and continues his pouting, watching the laptop screen, but not actually paying any attention to it.

"Or we could just make out." You joked some more, chuckling to yourself, because even if Peter didn't find anything you were saying funny, you knew you were on some level the funniest person to be known.

"Okay." You hear him say, and you stop yourself from your laughter, raising a quizzical eyebrow, your gaze reaching Peter's eager one.

"I was joking." You point out, and the boy shrugs, unaffected at your words.

"Well I wasn't and if sleeping with you won't drag your attention away from this boring movie, maybe making out with me will." The boy shows you an ear to ear grin and you tilt your head in disbelief.

"How about we finish this movie, then we'll see?" You say slowly, and Peter doesn't give that option into consideration.

"Or, we can see now." Peter pushes the laptop off his lap, turning to you rather quickly, attacking your lips before you could say or do anything.

The first time you and Peter ever kissed was well, awkward. It being your first relationship and vice versa, you never knew exactly how a kiss should be and obviously, neither did Peter. 

Though yes, it was really awkward, given the fact the two of were in the middle of having ice cream, and it was a very sticky, messy kiss, it still was somehow perfect. Some might say it wasn't, but oddly enough, it just made sense.

And ever since your first kiss, Peter made it his life's mission to prove just how progressively good he was at "sucking your face" (as MJ likes to call it).

With the movie now long forgotten, you swiftly fall under the spell that is Peter and his lips, the boy pulling you onto his lap.

The kiss had a mutual understand of the ache burning in your bodies, but you knew better than to act on it. Only because Peter had this annoying habit of leaving very noticeable blemishing on your skin and it took a lot of hours of makeup and strategic thinking to hide them, not only from your friends, but parents too.

Peter's hands were (very) eager, to grip pretty much any part of your body, settling for clasping his ungodly hold on your waist, which was a prominent touch you felt even through your shirt.

Your hands rested on his shoulder, sliding their way to the back of his neck, playing with the soft curls as they did so.

A keen noise escapes Peter's lips and you smile, continuing with the kiss.

There were moments like this were you were content with Peter's captivating presence. It was hard to put in words, but anytime you were in a proximity of him, you felt safe. Not only that, but the boy gave you every reason in the world to trust him with your life.

Hopefully Peter trusted you just as much as you trust him. You surely didn't doubt it, with how he was practically moaning in your mouth at the moment.

You two eventually have to pull away to catch your breath, and you. catch glimpse of Peter's dazed state, biting your bottom lip to stop the grin forming on your face.

"What?" Peter wonders, his flustered gaze staring at your curiously.

"Nothing, just love looking at your post make out face." You admit, running a hand through his head full of curls.

Peter says nothing, closing his eyes as he lets out a sigh of content at your gesture you've done plenty times before.

If it were up to you, you'd stay like this forever. Watching your boyfriend enjoy your delicate touch, his breathing at an even pace, letting you know he was comfortable and genuinely happy in any moment spent with you.

"We should get back to the movie." You suggest, attempting to remove yourself from his lap but unfortunately the spider boy had a stronger advantage.

You raise an eyebrow at him and his pout of protest.

"I'd rather you stay here and keep me warm." He suggests, sliding his hands behind your back for a hug.

You smile at his words, giving him a hug back, melting into his touch.

"If you know what I mean." You hear him say, smirking in your neck.

Your eyes roll at his suggestive option, pushing him away from you.

"Gross." You groan, successfully removing yourself from his lap, reaching for his laptop and unpausing the movie.

"It's not like you haven't done that before." 

"Peter!"

"Right, sorry."

[abarbaricyalp]

Short little fluffer-nutter-nothingness-sandwich because the first few lines were so clear in my mind

Written for the @sambuckylibrary Anniversary Event!

"Hypothetically," Bucky says in the middle of the afternoon while Sam is half asleep against him on the couch.

"No," Sam answers without opening his eyes.

"Sam."

"No," Sam repeats more firmly.

"Sammy," Bucky whines, squirms beneath him. "Babydoll. Sweetheart. Love of my life. Sunshine of my world."

"Absolutely not," Sam decides. He sits up, using Bucky's chest as leverage so he has an excuse to touch him, and fixes an unamused stare on him.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say." He's back to fake pouting because that gives him an excuse to spring the puppy dog eyes on Sam.

"Your hypotheticals usually end in us jumping off a bridge into water to escape a bunch of guys dressed like bears."

"That was one time," Bucky objects. He's running his fingers over the back of Sam's head, even while Sam's sitting further back. It does its job of keeping Sam close. Every time his fingers dip to the back of Sam's neck, it sends a shiver through him. "Hypothetically," he continues, "if we left Torres in charge, we could take a honeymoon."

"Oh?" Sam says. "Suddenly Joaquin's qualified to be left alone?"

"He's always qualified to be left alone. Left alone is my favorite version of him."

Sam rolls his eyes. "You wanna leave all the fighting and protecting to Jay, so that we can go hang out on a beach somewhere?"

"Hypothetically," Bucky corrects.

"Four years after we got married," Sam confirms.

"Well, no time like the present. We're never gonna get closer to that date again."

Sam lays down against Bucky's chest again and closes his eyes. "Hypothetically, he'd be the only one we'd tell. No one else is gonna give us permission."

"Well, that's never stopped us before."

"Encouraged us, even," Sam points out.

"Exactly," Bucky agrees. "So let's do it. Let's disappear for a little while. Doesn't have to be a beach. Could go camping or something."

"We got enough camping the last time you 'hypothetically' wanted to hunt down that monster-alien lead."

"Again, not my fault," Bucky defends. "There was a monster-alien in the woods."

"It wasn't doing anything to anyone. You just wanted a picture."

Bucky's massaging Sam's neck now and Sam's falling even further asleep. The argument is about to peter into nothing and Bucky would think he's won.

"What if the world tries to end again?" Sam asks. "What if Captain America needs to save the day?"

"Well, Elijah can stop pretending like he isn't secretly training with all the other kids," Bucky suggests. "He can use that fancy shield Riri Williams definitely didn't make him."

Sam snorts softly. "Good kid. Dunno if he's ready for it yet."

"For the hypothetical end of the world while we're on a beach?"

"Yeah, that." Sam ducks his face under Bucky's jaw and takes a deep breath of his scent. It's the last nail in the coffin. He's got no hold left on his consciousness.

"It'll be fine, Sammy," Bucky promises softly. "Hypothetically."

"Hypothetically," Sam agrees. "Hypothetically, I'd say yes to that. Hypothetically."

[in-flvx]

I still find it interesting how so much of the perception of Sirius as a character is swayed by his haughty expression.

Most metas (this is not a dog against those btw, I love Sirius metas, just want to add my own) etc I've seen go with this, his ultra love for james, and his derision towards Peter as the most prominent shows of his character, and infer meaning into every other relationship he has from that point out.

And I think these are outliers.

He looks haughty? Some people are born with resting bitch face, what of it?

And I'll discard any mention of James and Harry right now, bc these are outliers of the greatest magnitude, and looking at every relationship Sirius as extensions of his love for james imo just cheapens his bond to him.

His derision towards Peter is very reasonable, and also the most obvious outlier, and I don't think I need to explain it further. Instead I'll add snape and mundungus fletcher into the mix here, and go on to talk about the often-talked-about usage of certain descriptors within the black family towards people they don't like. As others have pointed out before me, the preferred way to insult people within this family is to insinuate uncleanliness. Walburgas portrait, kreacher and I think also Phineas nigellus use these kinds of insults on a pretty regular basis - many of which go against Sirius as well. And Sirius has adopted these insults, and uses them when he really wants to cut deep. He has many people to be angry with, is surrounded by a whole lot of poor people (for example the entire weasley clan, Remus, and mundungus fletcher), and we even see him in battle.

But he notably uses these cleanliness based insults on two specific people: Peter, and snape. What do these two men have in common? For one, obviously, they all went to hogwarts at the same time. For another, Sirius has, or had had obvious respect for both. Peter as one of his closest friends, as a person he confided in and cared for, and who he then expected to care for him in return (and we know how that turned out). And snape as a rival. As much as Sirius likes to insult snape to his face, he also never misses an opportunity to praise his intellect. Similarly to the way he praises and goads bella in his last duel.

Meanwhile, again, he purposefully surrounds himself with people, who the malfoys regularly call dirty ( the weasleys, hagrid, Remus, hermione), and is also on notably good terms with mundungus fletcher, who everyone from the order likes to call these things too. All of which Harry has described in several shades of dirt as well, tbh. And I'm saying this not in a 'oh wow, the rich boy lowers himself to the commoners' kind of way, bc to me he never gives anything close to this impression. The weasleys come closer to this kind of mindset toward any kind of marginalized person lbr.

What we do see, though, is sirius being incredibly forthcoming and caring towards literally everyone.

He has discussions with hermione about elf rights and their projections of the coming year. He obviously cares about Ron's well-being, long after he mauled him. He jokes around with the twins, and helps them with their inventions. He forgives Remus for thinking Sirius was the spy. He makes a considerable effort to be friendly with Molly after their fight. He adheres to dumbledores bs orders. (I think he told ginny about the repellant charm on the doors but don't quote me on that.) He had the most emotionally honest relationship with lily we see in the text. He cared so much about Peter that lily notified him of his emotional state as something Sirius should see to. He organizes the best Christmas he can manage to keep everyone's mind off of their worry for Arthur. He came close enough to kingsley for inside jokes to develop - jokes urgent enough to be passed to him as quickly as possible.

In my eyes Sirius Black is singular in the way he develops relationships, and in the way he cares for everyone he surrounds himself with.

Even with those he hates.

[shaineybainey]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 initial thoughts

[ NOT spoiler-free ]

For me, this is one of the few franchises that got better and better as it went along. This third movie was just absolutely phenomenal. As someone had said, it is a great send-off to the movie and the Guardians we've known.

They did a great job exploring Rocket's origin. It really explains why he's never wanted to talk about his past. It was violent and heartbreaking. Nebula's line of "They did worse things to him than Thanos did to me" (or something along that line) summarized it best. You also understand why Rocket can be so violent: it wasn't much because he learned it from the people who engineered him, but because the last time he tried to get away safely, quietly, his friends - essentially his family - all got killed. And the person who caused it was so cold about it. So while he could be extreme, he does it so that no one can hurt him or any of his friends ever again.

Which leads to this other point: Rocket is a grump and a cynic, but deep down he actually really loved the other Guardians.

Adam Warlock! I didn't know what to expect from him, but after seeing the movie, I want to see more of him.

Also: it's great that the movie managed to give Adam his own origin story, his own motivation for why he eventually ended up being a guardian.

Drax was hilarious in this movie, as he always is, but Mantis kinda came for the crown a bit! The fact that she made him fall in love with a sock for fun and made one of the guards they had to get through fall in love with him were some of the funniest moments in the movie.

On a more serious Drax note: "Drax. You weren't meant to be a destroyer. You were meant to be a dad." One of the best lines in the movie. I never would have thought that this is how Drax would "grow up" as a character, but it all made sense. It does.

Kraglin had a fantastic growth too. He'd been trying to train with the arrow Yondu gave him over and over and over, trying to concentrate and plan and think. And he kept failing over and over and over. But when Knowhere was in danger, he finally remembered what Yondu told him: "Fly it with your heart." When he realized that he needed to get out of his head, man did he do some damage. It was amazing.

The bad dog/good dog argument 😂

Gamora. I like how they approached that. They didn't make her fall in love with Peter, even after all the fighting that they did as a team. They were barely even good friends in the end. Also, it's nice that she has a different family to belong to now (the Ravagers) but who still loved her just the same. It's good that they didn't try to change her. They made her realistic.

Lol "You guys are just making up what he's saying" when Groot would talk

Nebula. Oh, man, where do I begin. I've started really liking her as a character since GotG 2, and even more so during Endgame, but wow. She's really grown. She looks after the people of Knowhere, the Guardians look to her for big decisions and even resolution for internal problems of the team. The team respects her, even more than Peter most times. She still has rage inside, and she has trouble expressing other feelings without it, but I think she's made tremendous progress. And it's so obvious that she cares deeply about the team and even the lives of others, even if she doesn't outright say it.

Okay. There's a lot to unearth with the not-so-subtle hints at Peter/Nebula. First off, it's obvious in this movie and even in the Christmas special that Nebula's been looking after Peter. But the fact that she would take him home whenever he was totally wasted and put him to bed, making sure he was comfortable? And when Gamora was going to hurt Peter out of frustration and Nebula jumped in to stop her, practically telling her to back off? And that when Gamora suggested that the woman Peter's describing, the one that he's fallen in love with because she's grown from being ruthless to being caring, is Nebula, and Peter started looking at her differently? Bruh. I don't know what they're playing at here, but alright. I'm onboard.

Speaking of Peter, I like that he decided to come back home to Earth to reach out to his grandfather. I'd like to think he got a little help from the Avengers to get to that doorstep (info, means of transpo, things like that). It was great to see him in a normal life setting in the post-credit, too, where he's just eating cereal, talking smack about someone behind their back lol

Okay, that's it for now. Will come back when I remember the other things I liked (spoiler alert: there's a TON)

[striveattemptfail]

You'll be there to push me up the hill | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 5.4k, PG-13

@poolvertober: Day 30 – Treasure

Summary: Five times Logan finds out something new about Wade's friendships, and one time Wade finds out something new about his relationship with Logan. Spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine deleted scenes. Mentions the extended cut of Deadpool 2. Rated for language. Takes place some time after the movie's events; assume Logan and Wade are back-up X-Men. Read on Ao3

A/N: This was just an excuse to write about Wade's movie friendships because I adore all of them lmao. Un-beta'd and I wholeheartedly apologize—this is a Mess™ y'all. Title is from Aretha Franklin's You're All I Need to Get By.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

My neighbors and my friends / are very dear to me / They are always there / whenever there is a need

We talk to each other / and we borrow and lend / Such treasures they are, / my neighbors and friends

How lonely and cheerless / a place my soul would be / Without such neighbors / and good friends as these

My Neighbors and Friends Edited Poem by Ellen Bailey

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

0.

Ever since he moved to Wade’s timeline, Logan takes to his new world with relative ease. There are minor differences here and there—pieces of history that shook out differently, random names of things that are slightly altered, everyone he once knew just smells different here—but by far his biggest learning curve has just been integrating himself into Wade’s life. Deadpool out of his suit is as chaotic as he is in it, just with marginally less violence.

(Only marginally less because Wade never leaves home without at least one pistol and Baby Knife.)

But it’s not that Wade has the eating preferences of a child addicted to hot sauce, or that he can’t function without a quarter of a boner, or that he literally never shuts up (ever) that confuses Logan the most.

It’s Wade’s little mish-mash group that he calls a family.

Individually, everyone is fine. They don’t blink twice at Logan moving in with Wade and Althea, a dog in tow and a teenage quasi-daughter following shortly after. They’re all wonderfully kind people who welcome the three of them into their little fold of found family.

But he is pretty confused by how this eclectic group is friends with someone like Wade. Between Yukio’s bubbliness and Peter’s awfully mediocre lifestyle, half the folks Wade saved his universe for are some of the last people Logan thinks would hang out with Wade.

Willingly, at that.

Much less actually maintain a friendship with him.

It takes Logan a while to figure out that they fit into Wade’s life the same way he does.

Everyone stays because they somehow, some way, really do love Wade Wilson, and he gives them all the love he can possibly give in return.

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1. Dopinder

Dopinder’s driving Logan and Wade to a drop-off point where they’ll meet the X-Men for their next mission. When they first left the apartment, Wade had loaded up with Logan in the back. After about five minutes of highway traffic, the idiot decided to get into the passenger’s seat to sit next to Dopinder.

On the one hand, Logan’s pissed that Wade is pulling this shit. Getting kicked in the face by one of Wade’s boots when he squeezes through the taxi’s partition certainly doesn’t help.

On the other... well, it’s a great view of Wade’s ass.

(He will never admit that he kind of, maybe likes sitting next to Wade; finds his presence comforting before big missions like this one. But he’s not a fool. They may be dating but Logan’s never going to admit anything out loud, lest Wade starts to annoy him even more than he already does.)

Logan tunes out Wade and Dopinder easily, his mind occupied by mentally reviewing the details of their mission. He only tunes back in after another five minutes of traffic because Dopinder says something that piques his interest.

“But why does Peter get to go on X-Force missions and I don’t?” the cab driver whines, and Logan’s ear twitches at the name.

Dopinder can’t possibly mean Peter W—

“Because sugar bear is a bit more insane than you, my little toaster that could,” Wade answers easily.

Which means, yes, the two are talking about Peter Wisdom, Wade’s middle-aged ex-coworker from the Drive Max car dealership. Even though Peter had shown up in an ill-fitting Deadpool suit while fighting the Deadpool Corps, Logan still has no idea what the hell Dopinder’s talking about. He thought Peter’s interference during the Time Ripper fiasco was a random one-off thing. Does that mean Wade lets Peter tag along on missions regularly?

”I can be insane!” Dopinder retaliates. “I ran over than pervy orphanage headmaster, didn’t I?”

Wade nods. “That you did, Dopinder, that you did.”

“He fuckin’ what now?” Logan interjects, because the cab driver did what?

“Don’t you worry about it, honey badger,” Wade waves him off easily. “It was in the second movie—I’ll give you the run down later. It was actually pretty hilarious though, I’ll admit—”

“And I’m great at humour!” Dopinder points out. “You just said it yourself!”

“You don’t need an excellent sense of humour to become a hitman, but it does certainly help, in my very humble opinion,” Wade concedes. He looks out the window. “And yes, I said humble, not honest—you can pry that from my dead body, which is fucking never.”

Logan’s getting whiplash already and their mission hasn’t even started yet. What the fuck are they talking about? Dopinder wants to be a hitman? And is asking Wade for advice?

Logan can’t dwell on his questions for long because Wade turns back to Dopinder with a sigh. “Listen, goose, I already told you what you needed to hear last time: You’re an eagle and you gotta spread your wings! Seize the opportunity! Carpe that diem and all that jazz!”

He catches Dopinder’s confused expression. “I-I don’t recall you ever saying that...?”

“I agree that the metaphor was severely lost when I said it but I did say it!” Wade insists.

“O-okay... But then how am I supposed to seize it, Mr. Pool?”

“Just like you did with that pedophilic shitstain at the orphanage!” Wade pats Dopinder’s shoulder reassuringly. “When the time comes, you’ll know, my young Padawan.”

“I suppose...” he trails off with a nod. “Thank you, DP.”

Wade bows his head regally. “I am but your noble Jedi master.”

Logan almost feels dizzy by the exchange that just flew past him. Between Dopinder admitting he ran over a pedophile and Peter apparently being more insane than that, he almost misses the sincerity in their conversation. Dopinder looks genuinely comforted by Wade’s advice, which itself was surprisingly honest and helpful.

Who would’ve thought?

“Okay, we’re here!” Dopinder presses a button on the fare counter, where Logan catches the $38.19 price tag before Dopinder resets the machine back to zero. Logan’s about to ask why he did that even though they haven’t paid yet when Dopinder says, “Put it on your tab?”

“As always, my favourite cabbie.”

“Your tab?” Logan asks.

“Oh, DP doesn’t bring his wallet on missions,” Dopinder explains. “Ruins the lines of his suit.”

Wade shoots finger guns at him. “You got that right!”

“Are you fucking serio—you’re a dickhead, bub,” Logan sighs, reaching for his pocket. “Dopinder, I’ll cover the fare this time.”

“No, no! It’s okay, Mr. Wolverine, sir!” Dopinder shakes his head. “DP always pulls through when it comes to paying me back.”

“Peanut, I’m insulted you’d think I wouldn’t pay this earth angel,” Wade gasps, hand on his chest. “What kind of man do you take me for?”

“A mooch who also doesn’t pay rent on time.”

“How dare you! I always make things work.” Wade turns to caress Dopinder’s ear, and Logan suppresses the urge to start growling. “Don’t listen to him—our system is perfect and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

Dopinder laughs.

Wade unlocks his seatbelt. “High tens until next time?”

Dopinder raises his palms to meet Wade’s. “Until next time!”

As he exits the taxi, Logan wonders if he even wants to know what the hell just happened in front of him. Wade and Dopinder seem content though, so he leaves it be.

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2. Peter

Logan finishes jogging with Mary Puppins for her morning walk when he strolls up to their apartment. He’s not sure why Peter is there, just that the man greets him at the door when Logan comes home.

“Hey, Logan! Miss Puppins!” Peter says cheerfully, opening the door for the two to step in.

“Welcome back, honey badger!” he hears Wade call from the kitchen. “And welcome back to my little princess, too!”

Mary immediately skitters over to Wade’s open arms. Logan nods his hello before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. Once he’s done and changed, he steps into the living room to find Peter and Wade talking over coffee at the kitchen table while Mary naps on her bed in the corner. Logan walks over to pour himself a cup before grabbing the morning paper off the kitchen counter.

“Pfft, you’re such an old man,” Wade teases.

Logan doesn’t even bother dignifying that with a response and simply kisses Wade’s temple to properly greet him now that he’s cleaned up. Taking a seat, he lifts the broadsheet to his face after sipping his coffee.

“Hey, don’t make fun—I read the paper too!” Peter pokes Wade on the arm. “Anyway, did you give Agent B-15 my email?”

Logan isn’t even looking at him, but he can hear the utterly baffled face that Wade is making when he says, “Why the fuck would she need your email?”

He doesn’t expect Peter’s response at all.

“We kissed!”

He nearly drops the newspaper.

“Excuse the fuck outta your beautiful moustache?!” Wade exclaims.

“Didn’t I tell you?” Peter sounds honest in his confusion.

“No, the flying fuck you did not!”

Logan does his best to continue reading, but between the close proximity and Wade being loud as ever, it’s hard to ignore their conversation. He at least tries to make it look like he’s not blatantly listening to them, only peering over the top edge of the newspaper when Wade and Peter aren’t looking at him.

“Oh!” Peter pauses, and Logan catches a sheepish smile crossing his face. “Well, yeah, we kissed.”

Logan can’t describe the high-pitched noise that escapes Wade—he’s not entirely sure there are words in the English language that can.

“I’m so happy for you, sugar bear!” Wade cheers, leaning over to wrap Peter in a hug. If they were standing, Logan’s positive that he’d sweep Peter right off the floor. “Way to land a babe!”

When he releases a now laughing Peter, Wade punches him in the shoulder. Peter’s laughter quickly turns into a yelp.

“Ow!”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Wade demands.

Rubbing his shoulder with a whine, Peter says, “I really thought I did! I told—oh.”

“‘Oh’?!”

The appalled expression on Wade’s face is so hilarious that Logan has to cover his face with the paper again to hide his own laugh.

“Maybe I didn’t tell you,” Peter agrees. “I forgot I only told two people.”

“Before me?!”

Logan subtly drops his newspaper again just in time to catch Peter’s pinched expression. He takes another sip of coffee while Peter tilts his head side to side in a so-so motion.

“Um, technically you? Kidpool and Headpool live with me now—”

“WHAT.”

“—and I guess I mixed them up with you, ha!” Peter scratches the back of his head with an apologetic grimace. “Sorry.”

Wade takes a very deep breath, resting his elbows on the table to fold his hands together with a dramatic flourish.

He then begins to count with his fingers as he asks, “One: Did you fucking adopt two AU versions of me? Two: Whatever. I’m still so happy for you!”

Peter’s smile returns, growing even wider. “Thank you!”

“Now,” Wade squeals, “spill the tea, sugar bear! I want all the deets.”

He grabs both of Peter’s hands, practically vibrating in his seat like a high schooler listening to the latest gossip about the popular kids at school. It reminds Logan of the students at the X-Mansion back in his old world, way back when.

“Was there tongue action? Hand action? Groin action?” Wade waggles his non-existent eyebrows.

“Oh, gosh, Wade, I—”

Wade’s face splits into a scandalized grin. “There was?!” Even Logan’s eyebrows jump at that.

“No!” Peter immediately cuts in. “But, um, she was the one that kissed me.” His smile turns more bashful, red now colouring his face.

Wade nods at him encouragingly. “And...?!”

Peter squirms excitedly in his seat. “And she waved me goodbye.”

“FUCKIN’ SCORE!” Wade reaches a palm out that Peter meets with a high-five.

“Thank you, buddy!”

The two continue to talk about Peter’s apparently budding relationship with B-15, as well as how the hell he ended up with Kidpool and Headpool. All the while, Logan continues to read his paper and drink his coffee, confused but appreciative of Peter’s grounding presence whenever Wade starts going off the rails.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

3. Althea

At first, Wade’s friendship with Althea baffled Logan. But within 24 hours of living with them he realized why they’re thick as thieves: Neither of them takes the other’s bullshit. It’s apparent when Wade steers Althea into making better choices than spending a whole afternoon snorting cocaine, and Althea yells at Wade to act like an adult human being.

“Motherfucker, I wish left your sorry-ass homeless all those years ago,” she had hissed after Wade, yet again, said something stupid. Logan immediately became on edge—was this really happening at his first dinner here?

But Wade didn’t bite back. Instead, he had calmly asked, “Then who would be the one paying for the Hulu account?”

“Bitch, do you think I can’t swap out Disney for Hulu?”

“No, I think you wouldn’t realize that I cancelled your D+ subscription six months ago because you hated the mid-rolls.”

“Oh, right.” Althea had made a face, apparently remembering she said that. “Well, shit. Thank you, baby.”

“Yeeeup, that’s what I thought,” Wade had replied easily, shovelling more food into his mouth. “Also,” he muffled around a mouthful, “you’re welcome.”

“Don’t talk with food in your fucking mouth!” she chided, smacking her hand in Wade’s general direction.

Wade just stuck his tongue out at her with a disgusting mound of chewed up food, making a taunting noise as he did.

“The dipshit is sticking his tongue out at me, isn’t he?”

Logan could only nod. “Yes, he is.”

And that’s how their banter goes.

It especially turns up when they watch reality TV together. Logan doesn’t get the appeal, probably never will, but he does find it amusing to see how passionate both Wade and Althea are over who wins this week’s challenge, or who gets eliminated from the island, or who takes home the grand prize at the end.

“I swear to god,” Althea grouches one evening, “if that bitch Claire gets a rose and Tamia doesn’t—”

“You fuckin’ said it, Al!”

“My ass is blind and I can still see that she’s gonna divorce that boy two months in.”

“Exactly!”

The two argue over the contestants they like, shit-talk the contestants they hate, and argue during commercials over why their favourite deserves to win with an intensity that would probably count as verbal assault in the legal system. Whenever Wade gets up for drinks and snacks, he never asks Althea if she wants anything. He automatically grabs her favourites from the kitchen and sits back down without missing a beat of whatever heated debate they’re in. Althea wordlessly passes Wade the tissue box when he starts pulling down his sleeves to cover his face because a kid/widowed spouse/senior contestant tells their sob story during solo interviews.

Neither of them ever hesitate to lean their head on the other’s shoulder, or hold hands when things on screen get intense.

Once the show is over, Wade allows Althea to berate him for keeping her up way past my bedtime, goddamn it, I’m gonna be late for bingo again. And Althea allows Wade to bid her goodnight by calling her a geriatric cunt who can’t hang out with young things like me anymore!

(This is, of course, regardless of how late they actually stay up, because Althea never gets out of bed before 10am. Bingo starts at 9.)

They do this every night when Wade isn’t on a mission. In fact, Logan eventually realizes that Wade is usually the one who reminds Althea when their programming is on, mostly because when he and Wade are gone for jobs, she’s more than happy to catch up on their shows by herself.

Logan suspects that Wade not only enjoys their routine, but probably needs it more than Althea does.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

4. X-Men

At the next mission, he’s waiting with Negasonic and Yukio at the X-Mansion while Wade runs off to find Colossus. Logan just rips the Band-Aid off.

“Why the hell are you two friends with him?” He jerks his head towards the direction Wade left in.

“I’m not,” Ellie says.

“She is,” Yukio says. Ellie rolls her eyes and playfully pokes her girlfriend in the side. “Also,” Yukio continues with a sincere smile, “Wade is always nice to me.”

Logan grunts his acceptance at that—this universe’s Yukio is so friendly to everyone, he’s not surprised Wade took a liking to her. What she sees in Wade, he still has no clue, but he’s less perplexed by their friendship considering that (to Logan’s knowledge) Wade’s interests align with hers.

Eloise, on the other hand, he is still confused over. So Logan presses on, undeterred. “I’m surprised you haven’t blasted him to smithereens,” he says to her.

“I have.” After a pause, she tilts her head with a pinched expression. “Well, kinda.” At Logan’s concerned silence, she explains, “He was on top of a raft and I blew him up to the sky to help him save Vanessa.”

Logan has no idea what to say to that, so he goes back to his original point: “That doesn’t explain why you’re friends with him.”

He and Ellie stare at each other in silence.

“This ain’t an interrogation, bub,” he eventually says, voice soft. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t wanna.”

Ellie continues to stare at him, clearly trying to figure out if Logan has an ulterior motive. As curious as he is, he’s honest about not pushing her if she doesn’t want to tell him anything.

Finally, she sighs, crossing her arms. “He didn’t make fun of my codename.”

That... is not the answer he was expecting. “Really?”

Yukio wraps an arm around Ellie’s waist as she says, “From what I’ve heard, it’s actually quite sweet!”

“No, it isn’t,” Ellie refutes. “He just happened to be the first one to tell me it wasn’t weird or stupid.”

Negasonic Teenage Warhead is a mouthful, Logan does not say out loud.

“I thought he called it ‘the coolest name ever’?” Yukio asks with an innocent look on her face. Ellie rolls her eyes again but doesn’t dispute anything.

Then, she adds, “He also changed the labelling system in the kitchen from tape to velcro labels.” She looks away, but Logan can see the fondness cracking through her expression all the same. “But I’m pretty sure he only did that because he saw me bitching about people stealing my shit all the time and ripping off my labels.”

“Wade’s super nice,” Yukio confirms with a nod.

Logan mulls over this information with a quiet hum and a nod of his own.

Later, once the mission is completed and everyone is scattered around to help victims or talk to the authorities, Logan manages to corner Colossus alone.

“NTW tells me you are ‘grilling people’ about Wade, yes?” he asks in lieu of a greeting. Apparently, the Russian has been expecting him.

Logan doesn’t give a spoken answer but Piotr accepts his silence as one nonetheless. He places his hands on his hips, looking away to nod at Wade in the distance. Logan follows his gaze to find Wade with Laura, the two of them sitting with a little boy and girl—siblings, if Logan had to guess. It looks like Wade is trying to teach the three of them a hand-clap game.

“Wade is... not always good man,” Piotr starts, “but he can be. And he always give second chances, even to people who may not deserve it.”

Logan recalls Wade telling him about his misadventures with X-Force after their ride with Dopinder. “Like that Russell kid?”

“Yes,” he concedes, “but also me.”

“Hm?” He turns to look up at the giant again with a raised eyebrow.

Piotr meets his gaze. “He has told you I left him to Ice Box?”

“Hrm,” he grunts in assent. Logan knows better than to comment on that whole situation, even if he did get super pissed when Wade told him that the X-Men punished him and the kid so harshly.

“I did not give him second chance after his first and only mission as trainee,” Piotr admits with a regretful shake of his head, “but he still came to me for help with Russell, even after I betrayed him.

“He believed that I, a hero, could still save someone after I refused to save him.”

Piotr’s eyes wander back over to where Wade is, whose hands are in the air as he enthusiastically elaborates on something to a very patient Laura. The two siblings laugh at something he says.

“Wade is not perfect,” Piotr finally rumbles, “but perhaps what he is doesn’t need to be.”

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

5. Vanessa

Civilian life does not suit Wade at all. Logan’s barely been in this timeline for a year and even he knows how goddamn awful Wade is at anything resembling normalcy. However, the one thing he apparently kept from his brief stint at it was game nights.

(Logan supposes there are worse things Wade could’ve continued doing, like using that god awful toupee that Wade still vehemently denies is a toupee.)

The majority of Wade’s game collection is of the tabletop variety. Logan knows the popular board game classics like Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Candyland—but there’s also card games with names like Exploding Cats and Cards Against Humanity.

(Wade and Althea have strict rules to never bring Monopoly, Settlers of Catan, or Uno into the apartment. Logan never asks why.)

Tonight they settle on Pictionary, with teams split into pairs randomized by an online generator: Laura and Yukio, Dopinder and Negasonic, Peter and Colossus, Vanessa and Logan, Dermot and Wade. Althea opts to be the referee and time keeper.

It’s unfortunate that Wade isn’t drawn as the pair’s illustrator (he’s surprisingly competent with crayons when given the chance) because that leaves Dermot as their artist, and he starts drawing god knows what as Wade yells nonsense guesses.

“A donkey? A horse riding a donkey! Donkey on a princess carriage?”

“No!” Dermot cries in despair.

Wade puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, fine! Not a donkey at all, what the fuck—”

Logan doesn’t even try suppressing his fond smile at his boyfriend’s increasing frustration. Wade looks ready to flip a table with each passing second—though, to be completely fair to him, Logan also has no idea what the hell Dermot is supposed to be drawing.

Since he and Vanessa already finished their turn (they got “chess” as their prompt, for which Vanessa drew the board and pieces easily), they sit next to each other on the sofa, watching their struggling partners with amusement.

“Last minute!” Althea calls out.

“Fuck!”

“Oh god, shoot, okay—”

Logan gently nudges Vanessa’s side with an elbow. “Shouldn’t you be saving your boyfriend from this? I think Wade’s about to pull out Baby Knife.”

“Nah,” Vanessa giggles, waving a dismissive hand. “They’re both adults—they can handle a round of Pictionary.”

Logan shoots her a skeptical look. “I disagree with Wade being an adult, but sure.”

Vanessa giggles again, her laughter turning into a cackle when Althea calls time, and Dermot and Wade groan in defeat. Then, Wade looks at the prompt.

“THAT THING IS SUPPOSED TO BE A GODDAMN BICYCLE?!”

“I’m sorry!”

“For fuck’s sake—”

The two argue (more like Wade bitches about losing while Dermot apologizes profusely for his lack of artistic skill) as Laura and Yukio get ready for their turn. Dermot tries to explain the exact parts of the bicycle he had drawn, and Logan lets out a snort at Wade’s appalled reaction.

“So,” Logan says as the next round begins, “Dermot’s okay with this?”

Vanessa turns to him with raised eyebrows. “‘This’...?” she trails off.

“You and Wade still being close enough for game nights?”

That’s an understatement to say the least. The two meet each other for coffee once every other week and maintain a long text thread filled with gossip and life updates. Vanessa always kisses his cheek hello and Wade never hesitates to hug her goodbye.

Her expression softens. “Dermot’s the most patient and understanding guy I know. I could never just abandon Wade, and he gets that.” She shrugs. “Game nights are nothing.”

“Hrm,” Logan grunts.

“Besides, Dermot likes hanging out with us,” she says. “I know Wade thinks he’s super boring, but it just means that whatever the fuck is going on in this apartment is already more than enough entertainment for him.”

Logan grunts again.

“What I’m surprised about is how chill you are with me, big guy,” she admits. When he makes a sound of confusion, she bumps her shoulder with his. “I could ask you the same thing, you know? Wonder why you’re okay with me still being close to Wade.”

Ever since he and Wade became official, Logan has managed to keep his simmering jealousy under control, if with a fair amount of difficulty. It’s not like anybody would be okay with their partner being best friends with their ex-fiancée, and Vanessa is still a huge presence in Wade’s life. Perhaps they’re not as inseparable as Wade and Logan are, but they’re still much closer than most would expect. Their casual physicality used to bother Logan to no end, even though both of them have reassured him that they really are nothing more than friends now.

Truthfully, Logan doesn’t know how the two manage to keep such a comfortable friendship after breaking off an entire engagement, but he doesn’t have it in him to worsen their relationship. It’s not just because Wade basically saved the entire universe for her, or that Vanessa is always so kind to him and doesn’t deserve Logan’s ire. He knows that Wade and Vanessa are good for each other in ways that he might never understand. And, at the end of the day, Logan is the one Wade will always come home to.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes he made in his old world and lose his family all over again.

Which means letting go of his pride, reigning in his possessive streak, and letting his boyfriend’s ex and her new boyfriend hang out in their apartment on game nights.

“You make Wade happy,” he answers honestly. “That's enough for me.”

Vanessa gently pats his hand, flashing him a small smile, and Logan knows that he’s doing the right thing because she stays in Wade’s life.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

+1. Logan

Wade and Logan are just outside of Who Gives A Fuck Town in It Doesn’t Matter State on a non-official X-Men mission. Charles had let them know about yet another Weapon X branch that popped up, blah blah blah, everyone knows the plot from here. The most important part is that the facility is so small that it technically doesn’t exist—even in a super secret underground government capacity—so dismantling it is out of the X-Men’s jurisdiction.

It’s a good thing Deadpool isn’t an X-Man then.

Wolverine tagging along on a freelance basis just happens to be a lovely bonus. Besides, Wade is all for letting his boyfriend take a much deserved slice of revenge pie against the program that tortured him.

Before they left, Hank gave them everything they needed to shut the shit down. From what X-Men’s intel could gather, the facility is laughably tiny and understaffed, with less than five so-called “test subjects” (gross) being experimented on. Once he and Logan subdue all the baddies and free the patients, all they have to do is plug in a USB to download the facility’s files before activating a trigger that completely corrupts their digital infrastructure. Typical superhero shit.

When they arrive, they’re met with what appears to be an abandoned specialty clinic about half an hour away from the closest town. The building is dilapidated and depressing as all hell—Wade is going to thoroughly enjoy fucking up the place and the shitheads in it.

Once they handle the expected group of gunmen that try (and hilariously fail) to stop Deadpool and Wolverine, they do unfortunately hit one snag: one of the patients apparently mutated into a slightly smaller, femme Juggernaut. Subduing her takes considerably more time than expected. Luckily for them, she isn’t wearing any protective gear—just her Weapon X uniform. After Logan gets thrown into the ceiling, Wade telepathically yells at Charles for help to take her down, and before long she’s passed out on the floor.

(Thank fuck old Chucky-boy can do that, to be honest. Wade almost wishes he could do the same, but he knows he enjoys violence too much to take the easy way out.)

He runs over to where Logan is groaning under the remains of the ceiling. After uncovering Logan from the debris, he’s able to stand up on his own when Wade pulls him up by the hand.

“You good, honey badger?” he asks, patting him down and assessing for any major injuries.

(If he happens to cop a feel of Logan’s giant arms and tits, he’s just trying to be thorough!)

“Yeah,” Logan says, slapping Wade’s hands away before wiping off excess dust and debris. “Just knocked my head a bit.”

Wade lifts his mask just enough to smack a kiss onto Logan’s cheek. Elbowing him playfully, he says, “Good thing your skull is made of metal, huh?”

Logan just shoves him with a dismissive noise in response, making Wade laugh as he pulls down his mask again.

They split up after that, Logan going to the holding room where the other patients are while Wade skips over to the control room to download this shithole’s entire digital existence. He quickly finds a computer and plugs in Hank’s USB, letting the device do its thing. In the distance, he can hear Logan easily taking down another group of armed men, presumably the guards in charge of keeping the patients in their fucked up prison test tubes.

When the computer beeps at him in completion, Wade hums as he pulls out the USB and makes his way over to where Logan and the others are. He’s about to turn the corner when he hears Logan talking to someone.

“I gotta ask,” a male voice (likely one of the guards) says, “are you dating Deadpool?”

Now that makes Wade pause in the middle of his stride. He stops at the room’s entrance, standing in the hallway because he doesn’t want to interrupt the conversation taking place. It’d be rude, after all.

“That’s none of your fuckin’ business, bub.”

“It’s just—I heard him flirting with you the whole time before you walked in here, man.”

“Still none of your fuckin’ business.”

“That’s not a no.”

Nope, Wade readily agrees, it certainly isn’t!

“The fuck is it to ya if I was?” Logan grumbles.

“I mean, really?” the guy says in a tone a little too incredulous for Wade’s liking. “What the hell do you see in that asshole?”

If he didn’t already ask himself the exact same thing a dozen times a day, Wade would be even more pissed than he already is at how disgusted the dickwad sounds. Give him some fucking credit!

He’s about to announce his presence—and extreme displeasure—when Logan growls, “He makes me laugh, you shithead.”

The statement is followed by the familiar sound of someone getting punched, a pained yowl, then silence. Wade stands quietly in the hallway, chest filling with warmth as he smiles to himself like an idiot in love.

(Well, he is an idiot in love. God’s perfect idiot, actually, and very much in love with Logan Howlett the Wolverine.)

“Hey, peanut!” he finally calls out, stepping into the room as he holds up the USB. “I got everything Hank asked for.”

They easily wrap up the mission from there but, to Wade, that’s not the biggest success he walks away with that day.

He makes me laugh, you shithead.

Oh, Wade cannot wait to unleash that tidbit one day.

——————————————

(More notes on Ao3.)

[wawamouse]

Oz Rewatch 3: S5E04: Next Stop Valhalla

Storylines

Jaime tries to kill Guerra and is killed instead; Miguel feels guilty; Alicia Hinden comes to Oz with the dog training program; Augustus, Penders, and Miguel are selected

Miss Sally’s Schoolyard to become Sallycise; Brass confirms to Rebadow he bought the lottery ticket; Martinez hits Brass with a shit cocktail; Gloria tries to get Martinez put in the hospital and then beats him up when he keeps touching her face

Beecher and Schillinger fight during an interaction session; Schillinger antagonises Schibetta;

Peter Marie visits Keller; McClain visits Keller

Winthrop and Guenzel arrive at Oz; Guenzel is taken under Beecher’s wing while Winthrop becomes a prag for the Aryans in Unit B

Frank Urbano arrives at Oz; Beecher asks Pancamo for the Italians help in protecting Guenzel; the Aryans and Italians get into a fight

Gloria tells Ryan he has to tell his mother about his crimes; Ryan breakdances instead; Shupe tells O’Reily that Li going to rape his mom; Ryan and Cyril kill Li

Augustus continues to grieve his mother and ends up breaking his sobriety

Omar annoys Emerald City and Said with his singing, McManus gives him a supply closet to practice in; Redding demands Omar use it to sell drugs; Lalar and Arif complain to Said that he’s neglecting his role as leader; Robson tortures and kills Lalar

Sister: That’s why they gotta stop announcing everything they do in this show, like...

Sister: I feel like [Norma’s] just dead at this point.

Sister: I feel like they’re leading up to him being like a mass shooter or something. Me: You think he’s gonna snap? Sister: He seems like the type...

Sister: …I think being free would making him happy. I mean, [Toby] had that whole vision about being free that did not include [Chris], so I think he’ll be fine.

Sister: You can just tell them anything and they’ll let you through…

Sister: What’s wrong with this guy? What’s he in for? Me: Hate crimes… Murder, officially, I think. Sister: Hate crime? What’s he sniffing people for? Me: He's just a perv...

Sister: …That’s so gross… In my sickened state*, I can’t even summon a bleugh. Me: [Retching noise] Sister: Thanks. (*We got some booster shots yesterday and Sister always gets sick afterward lol)

Sister: When are they going to address that guy whose wife also died? Me: Never. Sister: So why did they introduce her?! To spout off some facts and get shushed by the priest?? Me: Maybe there was originally supposed to be more of a story to it and it go cut. Sister: No, they just wanted to do their little after school special moment and then not deal with it. You know, if any of the Muslims should be having the issues in these episodes, it should be the other guy (Arif), not Mr. Said... Me: They could have issues together. Sister: Yeah. Kill the Nazi helper dude. The one who's egging everything on. Schillinger doesn't even really do stuff on his own anymore. Before, he didn't want to fight and wanted to become a Jesus freak and it was always that guy whispering in his ear. And now look.

Sister: How we know he’s not gonna build a bomb in there? … Oh, I guess they took away all the cleaning supplies…

Stray Thoughts

Sister says Jia Kenmin and Li Chen’s plan to provoke Ryan so they could kill him in self defense was really not thought-out

Sister is convinced that someone is going to die for one of the dogs

Sister believes that killing Robson would get rid of most of the Aryans’ bite since she views him as being the worst out of all the Aryans

Final thoughts

The scene where Robson and what’s his face torture Lalar is the toughest scene to watch in the entire show, imo. And it pisses me off (like, I’m actually getting mad thinking about it right now, lol) that Robson gets more expansion in terms of character as the show progresses, too, because whooooooooo gives a shit about a Nazi?! They still haven’t followed up on Arif’s wife LMAO. Also Urbano gets introduced this episode and they don’t end up doing shit with him, really, either. But let’s learn about this asshole!!

Sister: I feel like they’ve run out of storylines with the Muslims and are just repeating past ones. Wasn’t it [Arif] who was the one complaining about Said’s leadership the last time? And then he couldn’t handle it which caused the whole thing… and now he’s doing it again? Me: I think they just don’t like when Said helps other people. They complained when Said was spending time on Beecher, too… Sister: Yeah, [Arif] is so needy… He’s like “you’re spending too much time with your roommate who you have to stay in a cell with” and also every time he is around, [Said] just wants [Omar] to be quiet anyway…

[oicuperp]

PETS THE SAW CHARACTERS WOULD HAVE !!!!

ADAM

he would definitely bring home a lot of stray cats ,, he used to have ferrets and rats and he loved carrying them around in whatever hoodie he was wearing !!!!

LAWRENCE

allergic to cats . has only had fishes but hes usually not home or very busy so they always die but he cant stop getting them bc he loves watching them swim and he tries REALLY hard to keep them alive

AMANDA

she would have a crow ,, or a raccoon army . she loves grabbing pigeons on the streets and chasing adam with them (theyre the siblings ever okay idc about canon) . she also has A LOT of bugs, worms, moths, tarantulas etc

JOHN

he wouldnt have a pet himself but would take care of whatever pet anyone brings home !!!! animals definitely love him and follow him to his workshop and sometimes to bed when he wants to take a nap

LYNN

shes a hamster girlie ,, also used to have a turtle teehee . LOVES to put the hamster in a ball so it can follow her around the house . phone gallery FULL of videos of it !!!! usually sends them to amanda but stops sending her that many videos bc she always replies with videos of her bugs

HOFFMAN

100% a dog person ,, probably a saint bernard or a german shepherd . uses the dog as a blanket when hes laying on the couch watching a movie or smth . people always point out how the dog literally looks like him but he says he doesnt see it

STRAHM

never thought he was a cat person ,, didnt think he would have pets at all . hes THE chosen one istg cats see him and immediatly start following him . adopts a cat with a similar scar and calls it "cat" but everyone calls it "peter jr" bc it's silly ... he would DIE before moving when the cat in sleeping on him . he also carries it around the house with one of these

LINDSEY

the kinda girl who had 30 animals in her house when she was young ,, from dogs and cats and birds to horses and cows !!!! definitely enjoys hanging out with all kinds of animals and is probably one of the few ppl who would willingly ask amanda about her pets

JILL

has a dog !!!! also never got out of her horse phase ,, she probably has a friend who has horses and visits every weekend just to see the horses . kinda indifferent about the rest of animals but she still takes care of them

WILL

this man ONLY has piranhas ,, theyre cool AND he doesnt want animal hair everywhere so teehee . hes the kinda guy who always has a lint remover in his pocket

[nouearth]

a letter to spider-man.

peter parker x male reader.

summary: spider-man launched his own help line and you need his advice in talking to your crush: peter.

wc: 1.2k. genre: fluff, comfort!fic. warnings: holland!peter, social anxiety, mention of death, crushes, college!au.

peter wasn’t sure what made him decide to do this: a spider-man help line. one day, he woke up and wanted to fulfill a sense of purpose more than he already has—to help out the public more, to build a community that peter has been wanting to fix since the death of his aunt.

so far, they’ve been pretty simple tasks: walking the dogs, helping a blind woman with grocery shopping, fixing a broken pipe with his webs—it was all out of the kindness of his own big heart. a heart that his aunt once nurtured.

it was hard at first. from being a ‘save the world’ hero to a ‘save the dog from burning up in a locked car’ hero, it was a downgrade one might find—peter did at first. 

but it’s been a while since he saw the relieved smiles on the public’s faces whenever he swung from the corner. true happiness that he was envious of at times, but nonetheless grateful for, and so that would become his motivation. 

maybe it can make the world a better place if people happen to be inspired by his actions. small stuff that regular civilians can achieve. a domino effect that peter hoped for.

—april 10th

dear spider-man, so, this is a thing now, huh? the future is so unpredictable, so i actually never thought i’d be writing to you. well, i guess the future would be me texting you like you advertised, but i like writing. it makes my hand cramp, and my handwriting is terrible (sorry, i hope you can still read this), but it feels good. like... shouting at the sky, i would imagine, so i prefer it. i’ve also been watching a lot of ‘80s and ‘90s movies, which could also be a major factor.  and i just realized i’m supposed to tell you about my problems! this is kinda hilarious because i think i’ve probably rewritten my letter six times already.  also, are you living your citizen life as a therapist or something? because why else would you be helping people this way? not that we don’t appreciate it, but it’s different. you’ve probably stopped reading by now, but in case you haven’t, i’ll keep the rest short. i guess my problem is… i like this guy. i know you’re not a relationship therapist (your secret is safe with me if you are though), but i figured a guy like you knew how to talk to people? you save people on a daily basis, so you probably aren’t scared anymore, right? that theory worked better in my head, to be honest, so scratch that! anyway, his name is peter. we’re both freshmen in college, so we’ve been seeing each other a lot, especially since we’re in the same classes. did i mention that i’m a guy as well? i don’t know him that well. i’m pretty quiet, i guess. invisible, maybe? it’s funny. sometimes, my professors would forget that i was even in their classes until i would speak up. but besides that point, he probably doesn’t even know that i exist either.  the perks of being invisible—i’m not even sure if there are any, because i’m noticeable enough on days where people want to say stuff. mean, terrible stuff. i wonder if he notices me, though. probably not, but a guy could only hope. i think we’d get along. again, hope! he’s smart and humble, always insecure of his own answers even though he knows—everyone knows—that it’s correct. kind, too. also awkward, like me. but the cute-awkward, not the me-awkward. i like him. i want to be friends with him. maybe even more? but i’m not greedy! i can settle with being friends.  i guess, how can i approach him?

thank you, (m/n)

it caught peter off guard at first—seeing his name in the same vicinity as spider-man became a jump-scare. even though, the sender kept everything pretty vague to keep the named crush relatively anonymous, there was a gut feeling telling peter that it was him—the culprit of (m/n)’s stolen heart.

nah, there are so many peters..! just a coincidence.

it took him longer than he thought to come up with a sufficient reply. usually, a task would’ve been done because all he had to do was use his body, his webs to do good—not his words. inexperienced yet excited, peter smiled while writing his letter.

peter wasn’t great at consoling people. hell, he couldn’t even make himself feel better. but he’ll try, like he always does. 

—april 23rd

hi (m/n)! sorry for taking so long to get back to you! life’s been crazy with everything going on. did you know that there’s been at least ten deli robberies that i managed to save this week alone? something about that chicken salad sandwich drives people nuts… like you, peter’s actually been pretty swamped with exams and graduation. i also want to congratulate you for being the only one that has written a letter to me instead of using the chat service! i’ve never written a letter before, so excuse my rustiness. my handwriting is way worse than yours. mine looks like if you gave a dog a pen and made it write. freshman year of college is a big year for you, for everyone. i remember the feeling of feeling so lost!  still know the feeling.  don’t get me wrong. yes, i’ve become braver since i started this spider-man stuff. but i still get scared, you know? life is so unpredictable and you never know when something might go wrong, and unexpectedly go so right.  like, just the other day, i got anxious when i was ordering from a drive-thru! they didn’t hear me, so i had to repeat my order. then again, because the mic sucked or whatever! even though it was only me, i felt so embarrassed, like my cheeks swelling and itchy skin type of nervous. but then it quickly went away because… okay, well i got my burger and fries pretty quick, so that helped. but you know what i mean? there’s this potentially negative outcome that we’re so afraid of. when in reality, it’s only ever so fleeting. you said he’s a nice guy, right? he could also be scared to talk to you, and you would never know because you’re too busy knocking yourself down! everyone is awkward. I’m awkward. so are some of my family members, my friends too. and that feeling won’t ever go away. sometimes, it’s meant to be shared. being invisible isn’t so bad sometimes. i definitely know the feeling, even wished for it at times. you can listen to music without being bothered, that’s a bonus! but from what i’ve noticed from feeling invisible, it would always come when i was being unkind to myself. i had the worst perception of myself in the eyes of my peers, and that made me withdraw. i purposely isolated myself because i was being unkind. the way you view yourself reflects onto others. not all the time, sometimes people are genuinely just assholes. but from what you’ve been telling me about this peter guy, he seems pretty special. if you’re awkward, be awkward and laugh it off. there’s nothing more charming than being genuine, and being kind to yourself is part of that progress. I’m rooting for you (and peter)!

from your friendly neighbor, spidey.

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. andif you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

[remuslupinkinnie1979]

Some Emilute headcanons cause I'm obsessed

Lute - she/they (mean) lesbian

Emily - they/she/neos pansexual

Lute is VERY protective, if you even look at Emily the wrong way, you have a spear inches from your throat a second later

I hc that Emily is autistic, so Lute always carries noise cancelling headphones in her back (Emily often forgets them)

Lute loves listening to Emily infodumping about their current interests

Whenever Emily sees a homeless animal in the streets she takes it home. Lute thought it was adorable, until it got to the point when: "No, Em. We already have 5 dogs, 4 cats, 2 snakes, 3 turtles and a chicken, we can't adopt this lizard."

They ended up having a little animal shelter

Emily cried every time they had to give out a pet, but was also happy it found a new home

Lute listens to stuff like Metallica, Nirvana, AC/DC etc. and Emily listens to Melanie Martinez and musicals. They both love Queen

They watch anime (why? Because I said so)

Lute gets a lot of bruises and injuries during training and stuff, and Emily always insists to take care of them

This one is kinda dumb, but I hc that when angels blush their face goes yellow (cause they have yellow blood, yk) and Lute blushes A LOT around Emily (especially when they started dating) and Adam gave her a nickname "banana" cause of it and every time he caught them simping he'd be like: "You're staring, banana" (idk, I made it today at 5 am, okay?!)

Emily loves making bracelets and giving them to people (Lute especially). It got to the point when Lute almost had her circulation stop, cause she insisted on wearing them all the time

Lute is more scared of Sera after her and Emily got together, cause Sera is kinda like Emily's parent/big sister so Lute wants her to like her

Sera picked up on it and is very cold and serious around Lute, to not show that she actually likes her

Lute has anxiety/panic disorder and sometimes gets bad panic attacks from all the pressure and Emily always succeeds to calm them down

Also Lute has some major anger issues and is often like "I'm gonna murder the next person I fucking see, I swear..." And then she sees Emily and IMMEDIATELY turns calm and nice. Adam makes fun of her for it

They paint their nails together. Lute always gets black and Emily never can decide what to pick (xe ends up with multicolour nails)

Sometimes when they're talking/flirting and Adam is in the background he would do some stupid shit to ruin the moment, like:

Emily: You look nice today... Pretty much like every day

Lute: *blushes* You think?

Adam: *Fake sexual/puking noises in the background*

They often go on dates on Earth (they love cinema, concerts and Disneyland)

Sometimes on Earth people would give them dirty looks or throw slurs at cause they're gay and Lute would be like cracking her knuckles and getting angry, and Emily has to hold her, so she wouldn't murder someone

Emily pretty much NEVER swears and Lute swears a lot. Lute loves that about Emily, so she makes sure to never swear in their presence:

Lute: Oh you little *realises that Emily is next to her* you little... stupid person?

Emily: *laughs, cause she knows what Lute really wants to say and finds the whole thing adorable*

Adam would CONSTANTLY make fun of Lute for simping

Sera would definitely give Lute 'the talk'

Emily tends to dismiss ze's own emotions and overworked themselves to make everyone happy. Lute sometimes ends up forcibly putting them to bed so she'd get some rest.

Emily loves sweets and Lute loves salty food

Emily drinks tea and Lute drinks coffee

Emily likes knitting, especially in winter, so Lute has a closet full of sweaters, scarves, hats etc. She'd never wear them if they weren't from Emily

Lute likes sketching (mostly their girlfriend)

Hufflepuff x Slitherin

Emily loves hairstyling, so ze insists on styling lutes hair

St. Peter and Emily are friends and Lute absolutely fucking hates this guy

Because of their height difference Emily has to stand on her tiptoes when they kiss

Lute takes advantage of the difference and gives Emily a lot of forehead kisses

Lute often gives Emily piggy back rides (or flies)

Lute always insists on doing 'gentlemen' stuff, like they ALWAYS carry Emily's bag and open the door for her

When they move in together Adam often just comes in uninvited and crashes on the couch like he actually lives there. Lute is kinda annoyed with it, but Emily mostly doesn't mind

Lute plays bass

When they sleep Lute always has her spear next to the bed, just in case

When Emily has a shutdown Lute either speaks for them or makes sure to get her out of there. If anyone is trying to keep Emily in the room and is being kinda pushy and obnoxious, Lute gets all protective and is like: Don't you see we're busy? With a spear targeted at them

When Emily gets overstimulated xe tends to pick up on their skin. Lute noticed that and always has some fidget toys on them, to offer

Emily collects plushies and squishmallows and when ze sees one in a store, it goes like this:

Emily: Look! It's so cute! Can we buy it?

Lute: Babe, we already have like... 20 squishmallows in our room.

Emily: But it's an elephant... *Sad face*

Lute: Oh, fine. But it's the last one. *It's never the last one*

Adam is sceptical about their relationship at first, but grows fond of Emily pretty quickly and sees them as his little sister

They cuddle using their wings as blankets

Okay, I guess that's it for now, but I will probably update. As u can probably tell I'm a little, tini-tiny bit obsessed with them atm

[leresq]

Recently rewatched GOTG Vol. 2 and took some notes

Rocket has no real reason for stealing the batteries other than he wanted to

Rocket can't read sarcasm unless it's explicitly shown to him. He also doesn't understand insults unless he knows what they mean. Autism coded...

Drax has to be more than strong, he's got to be superhuman at this point. He was flung around by the monster that would have killed a human instantly, survived the pressure changes of going through a jump point without exploding, and was hit around by trees like a pinball. Gamora and maybe Nebula are the only ones I can see surviving that. Speaking of which how does Quill survive being thrown around by the monster without breaking any bones?

When Gamora says "If you'd flown with what's in between your ears instead of what's in between your legs" she points to Rocket for the latter half of that statement implying he wasn't castrated by the High Evolutionary. 👀

It's implied Rocket doesn't completely understand depth and 3D space when saying Ego was a tiny man which makes sense for a raccoon but also not for the best pilot in the galaxy.

"You didn't know cuz you didn't wanna know cuz it made you rich." Is a hard ass line

I don't know much about Kurt Russell's history in acting but him as a villain is fantastic

Rocket grooms himself with his tongue!!! So kitty!!!!!!

The fact that Drax connects being an old woman to being wise means his not understanding metaphor isn't an inherent trait and it also means nobody before this point has been able to indirectly teach him what things mean.

Rocket's singing voice hunghhhh... He also runs quadrupedal by instinct

Despite having such tiny and probably fragile hands Rocket can still punch hard. The way he grabs things meant for normal hands with his little grippy paws is so adorable!!!

Drax wasn't lying when he said he was humble. Despite being a bit reckless he rarely brags about himself at all.

Even though family story time about impregnation probably is not a good idea Drax is probably the most sex positive member of the group.

Ego says he made pain receptors yet he doesn't react to anything as if it hurts at all.

Nebula never was a sadist. Thanos made her become violent because he hurt her every time she lost, so she got more and more angry. If she successfully enacted her plan of torturing Thanos I don't think she would have enjoyed it, she would be delivering a sense of justice in her eyes. She doesn't talk about that plan with fondness, she talks about it like it's a hard job that'll take a lot of willpower to complete. Who knows how many years of Thanos' abuse were quickly replaced by love and she barely resisted being healed.

When Peter successfully forms the celestial energy Ego doesn't look into his son's eyes with pride, he looks at the energy with greed. Great subtle acting.

I don't think Drax meant to insult Mantis by calling her ugly, that was just an unfortunate moment of unfiltered honesty. The fact that he quickly changes the meaning so it's some kind of compliment is impressive and adorable.

When Peter says he sees Eternity I think he sees the thing from Thor 4. Ego's plan is to reach Eternity and wish for the universe to be completely and totally his.

The contrast of the majesty Ego supposedly shows Peter and the horror of Ego's genocidal design found by Gamora and Nebula with music is perfect

The crabby puppy so cute he makes me wanna die 😍

Kraglin is so cute he's had such a hard life he just needs a warm shower and a talking Russian dog for a best friend.

The reason Mantis could put Ego to sleep when he didn't want to isn't because she's super powerful (even though she is) it's because she's part celestial and maybe Ego happened to miss a little bit of the connection to the light she has.

Life isn't about trying to make everything perfect or exactly the way you want it to, it's about diversity. That's what Ego doesn't understand.

My headcanon is that Yondu is the only one of his crew that actually cared about hygiene. He looks relatively clean compared to everybody else.

The last real goodbye Gamora and Nebula had was in Vol. 2

Baby Groot finally being nice to Drax is cute.

[lover-of-mine]

No idea what a fun name along the lines of Lady Whistledown or Gossip Girl would be so yes you can call me blue anon! Happy to have someplace to share these horrors.

Today has been interesting so far (mustache!) Once again BTs cannot tell the difference between Eddie and Tommy while also simultaneously insisting they could not be more dissimilar. They love projecting all of Tommy’s negative qualities onto Eddie and all of Eddie’s positive qualities onto Tommy. The latest in this is the whole ‘Eddie will side with Gerrard’ bullshit and the plagiarized ‘what if (character) gets out of the pool while Whatta Man is playing and Buck is horny about it’ post.

Honestly the Tommy version of that post made me laugh so hard. It would just be strange of the writers to reuse that song and sequence with Buck and Tommy. The show has only ever reused one song: Carry You by Ruelle in 3x15 Eddie Begins and 5x16 May Day. Both scenes where it played were hopeful moments of a character being saved by their family (Bobby) or fighting to survive because they wanted to get home to their family (Eddie). Plus, both scenes were also a big moment for Eddie (fighting to get out of the well in 3x15 and finding his purpose as a firefighter again in 5x16.) Point is that the show’s music cues are very intentional. Using Whatta Man with Buck and Tommy would not just be an odd choice. Despite the new context the song and the imagery would still be a callback to the first time that song played. The writers would essentially be drawing yet another parallel between Tommy and Eddie. It would never happen because it’s a stupid idea but if it did it would honestly end up supporting the Buddie agenda. BTs did not think that one through.

Yesterday some of them were theorizing that Lou is being purposefully hidden on set. I think this is their way of coping with the fact they have not gotten updates from him in a long while. According to them the PR team knows that Lou being on set will cause an uproar among Buddies on social media. So to keep the peace they are hiding the fact that Lou is already on set and one day there will be a video released where he is accidentally shown in the background.

Still sticking with that theory. Which brings us to today. Apparently when Lou liked Kenny’s video of Peter and Ryan it was his way of signalling that he is on set currently filming and he will be in season 8. He’s just ‘not allowed’ to post anything actually confirming that so this is his way of secretly showing his loyal fans the truth. At what point do we get to officially call BTs a cult?

Oh and of course they are hoping for Lou content but (much like the pool post plagarism) they cannot come up with anything original. Aisha and Oliver posted content with Oliver’s dogs? Lou should post content with Oliver’s dogs. Kenny posted a video of Peter and Ryan? Kenny should post a video of Lou. The lack of creativity is concerning actually. All they do is shove Tommy and Lou in spaces where other characters and actors have been and should be.

Hi love 💙

The whole Eddie will side with Gerrard thing is just bananas. And we've been saying they are literally replacing Eddie's name in shit and pressing post but the whatta man thing was beyond insane. If they did something like that it would be once again making people question the way Buck felt about Eddie back when he was introduced. Honestly, giving Tommy a slowmo cut to Buck looking to dumbfounded would shoutout buddie because it draws yet another direct parallel to Eddie. They definitely did not think that one through.

And the whole theorizing he's on set and being hidden, I'm not saying it's impossible, but again we are in a network procedural, this is not Sony trying to hide the fact that Andrew Garfield is coming back, the expectation is that Tommy will be back, so there would be no surprise there, they just think we will lose our minds because they somehow lose theirs every time they find out this isn't the Tommy show. And I think at this point cult is the only way to describe what's happening. But seriously, can they come up with anything original? Even the actor interactions now need to be repeated? Dear god. We need to expand Maria's meme because this is insane behavior.