#peter is going through a roller coaster of emotions

[erinwantstowrite]

5 words or less to describe the next chapter?

"Everybody is confused and tired"

[imagines--galore]

idk Peter being toxic and reader and him both know that he’s bad for this relationship but it’s smutty? it could also end in fluff

Pairing: TASM! Peter Parker x Reader Rating || Genres || Warnings: M. Romance. Angst. Fluff. A bit of smut, allusions to sex, and minor drinking so those under 18 please turn away. A/N: Ok yes, I live for these kind of requests! Also I think this fic got away from me a little bit. Woops? Also, THIS was a roller coaster to write!

What had started out as a casual one time thing, had quickly escalated into something that would not be considered healthy.

Peter had been grieving, was still probably grieving, the loss of his girlfriend. Gwen Stacy. His first love.

You had been mourning the loss of your best friend. The girl you had known since you were in kindergarten together. Had grown up with. Whom you considered a sister and told everything to.

Seems like none of those feelings and years of friendship mattered when you slept with Peter the first time a month after her death.

You felt guilty everyday. Simply recalling the memory of that first night made you feel twisted up and sick inside. You were betraying her, betraying Gwen by sleeping with her boyfriend.

Former boyfriend, your mind had tried to reason with you on more then one occasion. That did not matter, your heart had argued back, she had still loved him, she said so herself.

As you sat in your apartment, nursing a warm cup of tea between your cold hands, your treacherous mind drifted to the fateful night. How you had been crying into your pillow, trying your best to get some sleep. You had a long day of work tomorrow, and yet sleep alluded you. Flashes of Gwen's smiling and laughing plagued your mind, causing you to close your eyes, wishing for those images to go away. They were only causing you heartache.

But then you heard someone, right outside your window. You sat up, and once you recognized that silhouette through the drawn curtains of your window, you quickly threw it open, allowing Peter to stumble in.

You could smell the alcohol on his breath, barely caught him when he almost fell over. You questioned him, asking if he was alright and what was he thinking swinging around while drinking. He could've gotten seriously hurt. He wasn't full on drunk, but he was a little inebriated at the very best.

But once he met your gaze, and you were able to see the sheer sorrow and despair in his eyes, you stopped in your questioning. He whispered Gwen's name before all but falling against you, sobbing into your shoulder.

You felt your own tears sting your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him and held him closer, needing to feel his warmth just as he needed to feel yours. He kept whispering Gwen's name and how he could save her, how he had failed to save the girl he loved. As an act of comfort you pressed a kiss to his forehead, before moving to brush your lips against his cheek.

What you hadn't anticipated was him moving his head at the exact moment. Just enough to allow your lips to meet his lips. Shocked, you quickly pulled back, stuttering an apology as your cheeks reddened and you moved to step out of his embrace. But he stopped you, bringing you back to him. He was looking at you now, and you knew his heart was beating just as fast as yours given how you had your hands pressed up against his chest.

Neither of you knew who moved first, but a moment later your lips clashed together in a flurry of teeth and tongues as your hands began to explore one another. Clothes were pulled off, two bodies fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs and heady kisses. There was nothing romantic, soft or slow about what happened next.

It was raw.

Emotional.

Desperate.

Your lips continued to meet, tongues battling against one another, hands never stilling as the two of you explored the other's body. There was no gentleness to it either. It was scrapping nails and gripping the other with an almost bruising strength. Never once did either of you open your eyes, perhaps because deep down you knew that once you did, the moment would be over, and reality would come crashing down.

All you needed, what both of you needed, was some semblance of comfort. Of familiarity. A reminder that you weren't alone. Neither of you.

And when Peter pushed himself inside you, when he began to move against you, when you held on tighter and buried your face into his neck to bite and nip at the sensitive flesh, when he moaned deep and sensual against your ear, when you threw back your head and allowed the sweet sweet release to drown every coherent thought from both of your minds, you found.......peace.

As you came down from your high, Peter rolled away from on top of you. You had wrapped your blanket around your body, laying on your back and staring up at the ceiling as you slowly came back to your body, and realized what you had just done.

And perhaps you were feeling selfish, perhaps you were angry at Gwen for leaving you, or perhaps you were exhausted from that constant gut-wrenching pain that crushed your soul, but you couldn't bring yourself to regret your actions. Peter had given you a few moments where you didn't feel like your heart was breaking. And you knew, he had found comfort in your body as well.

Though it didn't stop that feeling of guilt prickle under your very skin as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

                                             ————————–

That had been almost six months ago.

Since then, whenever Gwen's loss would get too much for either of you, Peter more so then you, the two of you would sought out the company of the other.

And while it did provide the two of you with some semblance of comfort and peace for a few moments, your friendship turned into a dry husk.

Before that Gwen's death, you and Peter had been decent friends. You had always been a third wheel between the two lovebirds, but you didn't mind. You were happy for your friend, and Peter was a great guy. And the two of you shared a passion for photography. Now? For almost a year, you hadn't spoken to one another. Even during sex there was barely any verbal exchange, unless one would count sounds of pleasure and approval. Even after sex things were quiet.

Once the act was done, you two would either lay on your back, or turn your backs to each other. And if it had been a particularly tiring day, you would sleep together. Otherwise one of you would put your clothes on and leave.

No greeting, no goodbyes.

And it was tearing you apart.

Tears lined your eyes and this time you didn't bother wiping them away. Pushing aside the now cold tea, you buried your head in your arms placed atop the kitchen island and cried. With every sob your shoulders shook.

You cried for Gwen.

You cried for Peter.

You cried for yourself.

You cried until you had no tears left, but you didn't move from your position.

                                             ————————–

A gentle hand on your shoulder was what shook you awake. Your head snapped up, eyes blinking to clear away the sleep and remaining tears as you did. You found Peter looking down at you, at the look in his eyes seemed to drive a knife into your heart.

He hadn't seen you cry, and yet you had a feeling he had been there for a long time now.

"We need to talk." You said, your voice low and quivering as you looked up at him.

Silently, he nodded.

                                             ————————–

It was her first death anniversary, and you were beginning to feel like your old self again.

You stood in front of her grave, holding a bouquet of beautiful yellow roses. The color symbolized two things, the deep friendship the two of you had shared, and the forgiveness you sought from your friend. Slowly sliding to the ground to sit cross-legged in front of the headstone, you heaved a deep sigh.

"Well its been quite the year Gwenie. My first one without you and its been so strange. Not having you here." As you spoke, you untied the ribbon that was tied around the bouquet, allowing the flowers to separate in your lap. "I did manage to get the apartment we both had our eye on, of course I have to work two jobs now, to pay rent, but its okay, its keeping me busy." You set down a flower on the grass in front of the tombstone.

Tears pricked your eyes but you continued. "And you won't believe it, but I finally managed to get around to watching The Lord of the Rings. I understand now why you begged me to all those years. Though its unfair of you to have called dibs on Aragorn without giving me a fair chance." A small laugh fell from your lips as you laid down another flower.

"Your mom and brothers are alright. They moved away a couple months after you went. I still talk to them over the phone. Your mom actually asked me to come and pick up some of the stuff we shared over the years. Says you would want me to have it. Though she doesn't know I already called dibs on your blue sweater." Another tearful laugh, followed by a flower and a tears that dripped down your cheeks.

You sighed softly. "I.....started to see a therapist. I wasn't....right after you left Gwenie. And I did something bad. But I've been working on it." Laying two more roses, you played with the petals of the next one.

"And I wanted to apologize." Here your voice trembled as your raised your eyes to the name that was engraved in the grey stone. "For what I did with Peter, I just.......I was just so lost and sad with you gone Gwenie. And he was just there. He....understood." You shook your head. "And I know that is a lame excuse for what I did, and I know how much you loved him, and I am so so so so sorry Gwenie. I'm so sorry." Aside from the flower you held in your hand, you laid down every last one of them on the ground.

You sat there quietly for a good few minutes before speaking. "I haven't met him or seen him for months now. We finally decided to just sit down and talk. And we agreed that what we were doing wasn't going to help either of us in the long run. So we stopped."

A deep sigh, one that echoed from the very depth of your soul fell from your lips as you tilted your head back and looked to the beautiful blue skies. "I hope you will forgive me Gwenie." You whispered, your head coming back down to press a sweet kiss to the final flower you held.

You stood up, leaning down to set the flower atop the gravestone. Your fingers lingered there, caressing the cold stone lovingly.

"She wouldn't want you to feel that way you know?"

You jumped slightly at the voice, your head whipping around to see Peter standing there with his hands in his coat pockets. He wasn't carrying any flowers, so you guessed that the ones already there were from him. You had suspected that perhaps it had been Mrs Stacy.

Slowly he approached you, so he could stand beside you, his eyes never leaving the headstone. "I remember when her father died and she was grieving. She was just so sad all the time." You nodded, recalling how devastated she had been after Mr. Stacy's death.

"It was actually the first time we slept together." Your turned your gaze towards Peter, lips parted in surprise. Gwen had never told you that. Peter sighed. "She just looked so sad and I couldn't do anything about it and it just happened. She felt guilty afterwards, saying she had taken advantage of me or something like that, but I told her to not even think like that. That I was glad I could comfort her in some way." He finally turned his gaze towards you, a small understanding smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

You swallowed thickly, pushing back the tears as you returned the smile. "Maybe we could comfort each other as well. As friends." You offered, your heart beating fast in your chest. You had missed Peter, had missed your friend. Maybe this was the do-over the both of you needed.

Reaching out, he grasped your hand tightly, prompting you to smile at the gravestone in front of you. The wins blew softly around you, and though you knew it was not possible, as you closed your eyes, you swore you could hear Gwen's hand slipping into your other hand as you stood side by side.

                                             ————————–

Your eyes blinked open, eyelashes fluttering as you fought the heaviness of sleep from them. Slowly, you blinked them open, snuggling deeper into your warm blankets.

Only to be made aware of the person sleeping beside you.

The scent that enveloped you could only belong to one person, and you smiled as you snuggled closer to him, feeling his arm wrap around your waist as he pulled you closer in his sleep.

You and Peter had spent months building your friendship once again. The two of you had been one another's rock during some very trying times, and now it had been nearly a year and a half. A year and a half of friendship that had slowly started to shift to become something more.

He had asked you out on a date, wanting to do things properly this time. And though you had been hesitant at first, an accidental mention to Mrs. Stacy had made you say yes, after the older woman had urged you to not let a guy like Peter get away.

Your first date had been a month ago. Your first kiss as a couple had happened a week after. Your first night together had been last night.

It had been the complete opposite of what the two of you had shared all those months ago. Last night had been slow, sweet and loving. Every caress, every kiss, every look had been full of love and trust as the two of you had floated on a cloud of utter bliss and pleasure. And while you had never met one another's eyes previously, this time neither of you had looked away.

This time neither of you slept with your back to the other.

Neither of you left the bed before the other woke.

And as you felt Peter stir awake, saw him smile sleepily at you, his hair all mussed up from the night before, greeting you with a morning kiss, you allowed yourself to feel something you had not felt in a long long time.

Loved.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

City of Ash Amber And Rebirth

by R1am_q9 The world was only supposed to forget Peter Parker existed. The spell was supposed to erase him, make it seem like he never existed. So why the hell did it feel like it was tearing him apart? Why could he hear and feel his heartbeat fading? Why did it feel like his heart was shattering from more than just grief? Words: 1618, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Characters: Bruce Wayne, Batman, Dick Grayson, Nightwing, Jason Todd, redhood, Tim Drake (DCU), Red Robin - Character, Damian Wayne, Robin (DCU), Peter Parker, Spider-Man, Cassandra Cain, Batgirl (DCU), Stephanie Brown, Spoiler, Duke Thomas, Signal Relationships: Peter Parker/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake (DCU) & Peter Parker, Cassandra Cain & Peter Parker, Stephanie Brown & Peter Parker, Selina Kyle & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Duke Thomas, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Lady Gotham & Peter Parker Additional Tags: Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort(definitely an emotional roller-coaster), is this canon? prolly not, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Red Robin (DCU), Damian Wayne is Robin, Peter Parker is Going Through It, he'll be fine, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Bruce Wayne if definitely trying his best(you try raising 15 kids it isn't easy), Batman isn't a total asshole but he isn't the best., idk how to tag bear with me., Sentient Gotham City, Peter Parker is a New Yorker(hopefully i got the way they speak right), Lady Gotham(spirit?/Goddess?/Eldritch Horror? we'll see), I think those are all the tags, i might need to update them later ngl, its 2:56am rn what am i doing bro. via https://ift.tt/SyUJgEX

[jessmalia]

I WATCHED IT ALL (guardians of the galaxy - vol.3)

I love them all so much, I cant even have a constant favorite they change all the time. I also like how it really follows all of them even tho bigger plot points revolve around Peter

and the emotional roller-coaster it takes you on whilst being funny

its like deadpool on steroids

BUT THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE i am generally soft on all Christmas themed episodes but this one was so fun and that moment at the end... HUGGING THE SCREEN

I am SO SORRY for taking so long to answer this. I was going THROUGH IT when you sent it and did not have it in me to answer and then it disappeared under a pile of other asks. Still, I was and am so excited that you loved it so much! I can't pick a favorite character either! Everything you said is 100% true and I am open to discussing the franchise at any time!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[fearsmagazine]

COBWEB - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Lionsgate

SYNOPSIS: Eight-year-old Peter’s nights have become plagued by a mysterious and constant tapping from inside his bedroom wall. Unable to sleep he turns to his parents who attribute the tapping to his imagination. As it continues and intensifies, Peter knows it is real and he suspects his parents could be hiding a terrible and dangerous secret. WIth no one to turn to for help, Peter’s world descends into a deadly nightmare he may not survive.

REVIEW: COBWEB is a classic tale that combines Grimm Fairy Tale elements with contemporary themes in a wonderfully crafted tale with plenty of twists and turns to keep its secrets hidden to the terrifying end.

Screenwriter Chris Thomas Devlin does an admirable job of laying out a chilling tale of a child in peril. The screenplay weaves a fairy tale style with haunted house themes, and a menacing tone of sinister adults that is reminiscent of 1961’s “The Innocents.” Peter is the central character, but the plot has some solid character arcs for his parents, Carol & Mark, and his teacher Miss Devine. He takes the view on an emotional roller-coaster ride and just when you think you know what is going on flips the tale on its head in a jaw-dropping reveal. The story does a nice job building the mystery and suspense and it saves the majority of the horror and shocks for the story’s final act. While the screenplay takes the edge off the tension, the closing moments ratchet it up a bit and set it up for a potential sequel.

COBWEB has excellent production values. Overall, the cinematography has this blue, gray, brown, and green nightmare look that adds to the emotional tone of the film. Even the exterior white of the house looks old and dirty. They create a sense of unease through an engaging use of space for the interior use of space, especially Peter’s bedroom. There is interesting framing and skilled editing that crafts a pacing that ebbs and flows like an amusement park ride. There is an interesting use of color, especially for the pumpkin patch in the backyard. Clearly there is something “not well” with this home, and it extends into the neighborhood. The way it is shot, it seems to fade the further you get away from the house, until you come to the school where there are more vibrant colors, but it is still surrounded by this grayness. The family’s costumes are also grays and blues, where in contrast Miss Devine’s wardrobe feels like a beacon in Peter’s bad dream. It all combines to create a visually compelling experience.

COBWEB features a wonderful ensemble cast. Young actor Woody Norman, with already 19 acting credits, does an excellent job of bringing Peter to life, hooking the sympathies of the viewer and taking them along for the emotional ride. Lizzy Caplan, who played Annie Wilkes in the TV series “Castle Rock,” delivers an amazing performance as Peter’s mother. She presents a character consumed by an emotional storm. She clearly loves her son, but there is some much more going on that is internalized and we see that storm brewing beneath the surface. She is both terrifying and sympathetic. Antony Starr, unforgettable as Homelander on the Prime series “The Boys,” gets to work a slightly broader palette as Peter’s father. His performance fluctuates between being an authority figure and psychotic, at times finding these tranquil moments that are convincing. Caplan and Starr are truly menacing yet provide moments that leave the viewer questioning what is going on here. Cleopatra Coleman, an Australian film and television actor, has been in numerous genre films and brings her unique skills to Miss Devine. She is totally believable as an educator who perceives that one of her students is in peril and is compelled to ensure that he is kept from harm. She presents a brightlight in this dark tale.

Back in the day, before Covid and streaming platforms, there were solid genre films that would help fill in the space between the summer blockbusters. They also served as a vehicle for tv stars to make the transition from the small screens (again back in the day before large flatscreen tvs) to the big screen. COBWEB feels like one of those films, a creepy, greasy popcorn movie. There are many reasons to make the trek to your local theater to put a chill into a hot summer day. Great cast, great production designs, and a haunting tale that leaves a lingering chill. There are a few moments that feel a bit off in the film’s logic, but considering this is a dark, modern fairy tale they’re easily forgiven due to the fantastical theme. It’s more of a tween to adult family film, and definitely in need of a drive-in.

CAST: Woody Norman, Lizzy Caplan, Antony Starr, Cleopatra Coleman, Ellen Dubin (voice), and Luke Busey. CREW: Director - Samuel Bodin; Screenplay - Chris Thomas Devlin; Producers - Evan Goldberg, Roy Lee, Seth Rogen and James Weaver; Cinematographer - Philip Lozano; Score - Drum & Lace; Editors - Kevin Greutert & Richard Riffaud; Production Designer - Alan Gilmore; Costume Designer - Anna Gelinova; Prosthetic Designer - Yana Stoyanova; Special Effects Supervisor - Ivo Jivkov; Visual Effects - VFX Legion, Outlanders VFX & Worldwide FX. OFFICIAL: www.lionsgate.com/movies/cobweb FACEBOOK: N.A. TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/Y3mwqvSachk RELEASE DATE: In Theaters on July 21, 2023.

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay), or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

[ethandude15]

Book pages project – My Friend the Enemy

Smith, Dan. My Friend the Enemy. Scholastic, 2013.

My Friend the Enemy, by Dan Smith, is an incredibly interesting young adult novel set-in north-east England during World War 2. The year is 1941 and Peter, a boy living in a small English town, hopes that the war will come to an end soon and his father, who’s out fighting, will come home alright. Suddenly, a plane crashes near Peter and his mother’s cottage so Peter, and his friend Kim, go to investigate the crash for any souvenirs. Upon discovering the plane, Peter realizes while three of the airmen have died on impact one is still alive and has parachuted to safety. Along with this, Peter and Kim come to the discovery that the plane is of German origin, the enemy. Shortly after, Peter and Kim discover Erik, the surviving airmen but, to their surprise, he is not the scary vicious monster that the German’s are supposed to be but merely an injured and afraid 18-year-old stuck in dangerous territory. Despite the language barrier, and the fact that he is from the enemy country, Peter and Kim decide to nurse Erik back to health and keep him hidden from the military police who are now investigating the crash.

My Friend the Enemy is a fantastic read with an incredible story and interesting plot. The theme of the book is very much anti-war as it shows the biggest similarity between people, just being people. In the novel, Erik is, at first, seen as the ‘scary German solider’ but Peter realized that Erik is a lot like his father. Much like Peter’s father, Erik has a family waiting for him back home. Along with this, the novel calls out the cruelness of the military as it emphasizes the fact that Erik, much like a lot of other solider in the past and present, is merely 18, a teenager, barley an adult. The governments of the world essentially send out children to fight their wars, which the novel makes extremely clear through the characterization of Erik. The book, while seeming simple, is very much an emotional roller coaster that not only makes one question the morality of the military complex but also its system and very presence in our society. Lastly, the book also calls into question if the soldiers of war, especially conscripted by a draft, are victims in their own right. For example, while Germany was certainly on the wrong side of history, young men on both sides, such as Erik, would be given the choice to either fight in horrific battles and war or be imprisoned, and possibly even executed, for refusing to fight. While a controversial take, it certainly makes one question their views on the soldiers who fought on both sides of the war.

This book very much tells an emotional story of war and makes one question many perspectives of the past and present, however, another theme the book has is growing up during hard times. The book depicts what it was like for children to be growing up during war times and how hard it could be to live so young an innocent yet live so close to one of the most horrific things in history. Along with this, the book makes it a point to display the forming of one’s own morals and thinking for oneself. Children are always told to follow the rules and stay in line, yet this sort of thinking does not allow for the forming of one’s own morals and the independent growth one needs in order to mature. This book very much displays the way that children can learn such important and valuable lessons from experiences and teaches children to think for themselves and follow their own path, even if no one else will.

[alexandrarosa]

TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE | PS I LOVE YOU | ALWAYS AND FOREVER (Lara Jean Song Covey & Peter Kavinsky)

COVINSKY HEADCANONS (post-book) pt 1

Lara Jean and Peter stay together through college, sometimes the distance helps them calm themselves after a fight, sometimes it causes a fight, most times it makes them realize if they can survive this they’ll survive anything

Peter writes Lara Jean at least once a month, a real letter, on nice paper. His frat friends vote him the most romantic boyfriend. It starts as a tease but it’s true

LJ, Margot, Kitty and Doctor Covey come to UW for Peter’s last game of the season. Lara Jean writes the number of his shirt on her cheek. Peter l o v e s it

That game is the first opportunity for Lara Jean to meet Peter’s friends and vice versa. The guys hope that since they met her they wouldn’t have to listen so much about her. Boy were they wrong

The scrapbook Lara Jean gave Peter became a hit. One of Peter’s friends asked his girlfriend why he didn’t get one of those. It was quite a loud fight

After the first year the students were allowed to have their cars with them so Peter could visit Lara Jean more often. And he did. And so did LJ, just with a lot more hesitation

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Being Frank Castle's Daughter in Hawkins Pt 6

Gif Caption: Top Gif- Matt Murdock and Frank castle in Marvel's Daredevil, Aka Frank yeets Matt off a boat. Bottom Gif- Steve Harrington eating pringles from Netflix's Strangers Things

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Reader: 17-18 age range | female reader

Characters Mentioned: Frank Castle (MCU), Matt Murdock (MCU), Dinah Madani (MCU) Curtis "Curt" Hoyle (MCU), Karen Page (MCU), Peter Parker (MCU), Foggy Nelson (briefly MCU), Thor Odinsion (briefly MCU), Steve Harrington (ST), Billy Hargrove (ST), Max Mayfeild (ST)

A/n: this was a roller coaster of emotions

Warnings: Max is in the hospital, Neil Hargrove >:( , revenge sweet brutal revenge, also has a chunk of really sad Billy and U

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Let's just say Steve was thinking he was gonna hear "Oh Steve. I love you too." Or an "I love you too bro"

Not a line of compliments back that would cause him to fluster intensely

"I think, you misjudge yourself, you know you're a person, you make mistakes, and you make great choices. I think they stereotype you too much. Ya know? If they took the time to get to know you. They'd actually really like you like I do."

Wait. That's also Super unclear.

Do...do you just really like him? Or do you just really like him?

It's unknown and you're already getting out of the car and you're both walking down a path now

Talking about life and random shit: avoiding the actual topic he needs to talk about you guys reaching the lake

It's beautiful

"Thanks again..ya know for takin' me around." Y/n spoke, "This is a lot more calming than yesterday."

Steve chuckles, "I bet."

Y/n smiled at him "still its nice to see them once in a while."

"Yeah..." he picked up a stone off the floor and walked closer to the lake, skipping it across the water, "I. I've gotta ask you somethin'."

Y/n hummed in response grabbing her own stone and joining him, "what's up?"

"Would you uh, go with me- out." He spoke.

"We're out right now-"

"On a date."

Y/n through the stone across the water, watching it skip farther than Steve's had gone.

"We could go somewhere fancy? Or not." Steve suggested.

"Oh." Y/n spoke looking down at her hands, "Steve...I..."

"No! No its okay we don't have to..." Steve suggested, "yeah we don't have to..."

Y/n looked at him, that look caused his heart to squeeze his face to grow warm.

I don't want to hurt you..." y/n spoke.

"I. I get it. Yeah." Steve answered, "yeah..I don't want to hurt you either...its uh. Chilly. Im gonna go grab my jacket..."

"Wait. Steve." Y/n stopped him, grabbing his wrist, She let his wrist go figuring she had grabbed it too roughly, "Sorry..."

"I just. Im scared."

Steve looked at her concered, "Of me?"

Y/n shook her head: "Of loosing someone....again."

"Hey," Steve started, feet shuffling closer, tips of each others converse touching one another, "Im not going anywhere. I'll follow you where ever you go...Might have to deal with me tailing you like a lost puppy with his mom."

Y/n chuckled, "Im use to people followin me. God I've gotta take you to New York."

He laughed shortly, a smile on face, "Id love to go...with you."

His hand found her cheek, thumb coming out to rub her skin softly. Y/n leaning into the touch the slightest.

"Can...Can I?" He asked softly, "can I kiss you?"

Y/n was quiet for a moment, "...yeah..."

He leaned over as he tilted her head to the side the slightest, allowing him easy access to her lips, his hand falling from her cheek to the side of her neck, her eyes closing as he did so. Letting his lips ghost hers before he pressed his firmly against hers. They stay like that for a moment, before Steve pulls away, Y/n quickly catching his bottom lip in a kiss, pulling him back in to her.

Yep. You and steve harrington kissed

And it was diffrent that the Billy kiss, this one was... heart pounding, and hip grabbing, and well hot

But it was also sweet, you wanted this one to go way off the road of platonic: you didnt even want the word platonic to EXIST

Soon you two had to pull away, and the warmth from the kiss dispursed and the cold of Fall came at you once again

So you both walked to the car

Where you both looked at each other for a short moment and just had to kiss again

He just wants to kiss you, constantly now.

Not that he didn't want to kiss you before

But now that he can? That's all he wants to do, no not wants, needs

"Okay! Haha! Steve!-" Y/n laughed pulling away from him.

"One more. Your just so damn beautiful."

One more kiss as he says and he pulls away to start driving.

He cant stop holding your hand either, or kissing your knuckles especially when your both stopped at a light or at a stop sign

He still contuines to take you around, Hawkins just this time hand in hand

Oh he's so excited!!

He drops you off at the end of the day, still all giddy from earlier

"I'll see you later." Steve spoke.

"See? You mean call?" Y/n protested with a smile.

"I don't mind sneaking through the window. Ya know. For a good night kiss."

"Jesus H. Christ." Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, "i'll see you, Steve."

He smiled leaning over to kiss her softly goodbye, "I'll see you later...babe?"

"Mhm." Y/n grimmanced, "Too cheesey."

He laughed as she got out the car, he watching her walkin in before he drove off.

He's immediately calling Henderson when he comes home, he doesnt care how loud he is or who can hear

"Steve?"

"I got the girl! I got the girl!" He cheered.

"What!? Seriously!? How!?"

"I don't even know! You're going to love her man! I swear! She's the coolest!! Get your little shithead gang together. Icecreams on me!"

Meanwhile, you're eating dinner with Frank, talking over dinner plans when Matt comes along.

You heard it was Curt coming along to see him along with Matt, Madani, and Karen, Foggy is still kinda nervous about Frank in general.

They said they were bringing someone else but didn't say who exactly confusing you

Secret Person? Scott yeah Scott seemed like the type to hide in the back of a truck and pop out and scream he's here.

Could be Kate, but Kate seemed to have worked all the time

Maybe it was Foggy actually coming to see you

You'd give anyone 100 bucks for it to be Natasha

But you seen there's no point in guessing and you both continue making plans

"Are you inviting ya know who?" Y/n asked eating some of the chicken soup in response, "your new friend."

He looked at her with a 'really?' look as she shrugged, "How long that been goin' on?"

Frank messed with his food, "I met her, two, three weeks ago. Somethin like that."

Y/n nodded, drinking some of her soup.

"I didn't want you to find out how you did."

"Eh, doesn't matter to me." She spoke, "As long as your happy...are you happy?"

"Yeah." Frank spoke, "I am."

Y/n smiled, "Good, thought you'd never get a girlfriend, Just like I never thought I'd be sucking faces with Steve Harrington."

"What?"

well if your both coming clean you might as well come out fully

You had been kissing Steve Harrington basically half the day

and he vaguely told you about Joyce Byers, now that you knew her full name, you didn't want all the details anyways

Frank seemed to really like her, and you were really glad he had someone besides you

"Don't let Matt find out though."

"God damn it Y/n."

"What!? oh come on: you guys argued like an old married couple still do I bet."

"You must be dating a lot more than I realize then." Frank joked as Y/n let a playful scoff out.

"Oh so it's like that huh?"

"yeah it is."

you're glad dating has changed either of you, it's hasn't been too long since you guys both started down your separate paths but still you're glad your able to talk to him

you take dishes for the night and then go to bed to read

and then there's knocking on the window

you should just install a door where your window is you swear

Opening it it's Steve.

"hey baby doll." Steve smiled.

"Still real cheesy." Y/n responded leaning on the seal.

"Sweet Cheeks."

"Ew."

"Gum drop."

"No."

"Stud Muffin?"

That one made her laugh as she held out a hand, and helped him climb in.

"Stud Muffin, I like it." Y/n spoke.

Steve rolled his eyes and laughed, "I'll remember that one."

She smiled, his hand holding her check he smiling back.

"you're beautiful you know that-"

He paused in shock, "Hm?"

"is...Is that a knife collection?"

"Hm? Oh yeah!" Y/n smiled pulling away, "you haven't seen it before?"

He shook his head no, he had never actually been in her room.

"I'm thinking the nickname killer may be the best for you." He joked as she smiled.

"I like that one, but I still like Stud Muffin."

He chuckled as Y/n walked over, grabbing his hand, "Don't worry, If i ever use them, I'll watch the hair."

"my god."

"What?"

"your a weirdo."

Y/n laughed, Steve smiling, grabbing her by her arms as they rocked back and forht "My werido."

"yeah?"

"yeah."

He leaned over kissing her softly as she smiled kissing back.

He stayed over for the next hour and a half, you two talking...making out...just a bit tho, just a bit

You told him and invited him to the dinner, and he said he'd gladly come because these people meant a lot to you and he was up to redeem his name after the last dinner

you told him who you're inviting and he rolled his eyes almost, Billy Hargrove, he hated Hargrove but knew somewhere deep down you two were extremely close with one another, plus Max also really liked you

He knew there was something else going on between you two though, you were just, so close; hiding a secret he assumed

Maybe just Billy knew you better: plus he realized Billy had stopped being a massive shit disturber at school and had actually helped in defending you during a fight

So the guys had some redeeming qualities: or was at least starting to gain some in Steve's eyes

"You okay?"

"I'm a fine killer." Steve spoke with a smile, "Lost in how pretty you are."

Y/n smiled looking up at him, her head in his lap, "I don't mind Killer ya know."

"Good, Stud Muffin and Killer."

Y/n laughed, "Yeah..."

"look at the time I should go."

Y/n nodded.

"Alright, Mr.Prince of Hair."

Steve chuckled as she sat up, kissing him softly- but the phone interrupted her. She looked confused as she got up and out of the room answering the wall phone beside her door.

"Hello?"

"Y/n!" Billy spoke, he was frantic, sounded worried even, with a serious tone to his voice,

"Billy?" Y/n answered, "Hey. Hey, What's wrong-"

"I need you to come here now."

"I'm comin', I'm comin'," Y/n spoke quickly hanging up the phone and going back into the room.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked.

"I need you to go home-"

"What No way."

"Go home, Steve." Y/n argued, "Please,"

"We're not done talking about this," Steve argued, before following her out the door, he went to his car, and Y/n took Frank's truck

Fuck you've never been so worried before.

Also, driving over the speed limit? Absolutely you're flying down those long roads to where Billy and Max live.

You swear you could hear the arguing a mile away as you parked and went through the glove box finding Frank's pistol and one of the masks from the previous Adventures of Y/n, Billy, and Max

You had to conceal yourself somehow

And rushed in, the door unlocked and everything.

But Billy was already coming out of the house with Max in his arms, he has a bloody nose and cut across his cheek

"What the fuck?!" He shouted.

"It's me! It's me! What's the problem?!" Y/n demanded lifting up the mask.

"She has a fucking peanut allergy! And the fucker was so drunk he put fucking peanuts in her food! I don't know where he put my keys!"

"Shit!"

You rushed so fast to the truck letting Billy drive, he figured you had at least better medical experience than him.

"Max! Max can you hear me!"

"Can't!" She tried to get out unable to breathe.

"Fuck Billy drive faster!" Y/n shouted, he floored on the gas, and she turned Max on her side.

Soon they were at the hospital and Y/n grabbed Max out the back, rushing into the emergency room and within seconds they took her from you

Luckily within a few hours, they were able to come out to you and say everything's fine now and said they were gonna send her home with EpiPens.

You guys were allowed to see her.

"Hey Max." Y/n spoke with a smile sitting on the bed, "You okay?"

"Y/n?".

"Mhm and-"

She turned her head but didn't see Billy there, and frowned, "Just me...sorry I don't have your best friend Loki here."

She smiled weakly, "what happened?"

"You had an allergic reaction to some peanuts." Y/n spoke, "you're okay now. They wanna keep you for a few more hours though okay?"

Max nodded as Y/n held her hand.

"You know." Y/n spoke, "I was thinking when I see Loki again. I could ask him to take you to Asgaurd for a week."

You tried to entertain Max until the doctors asked you to step back while they did some other test. You told her you'd be back and was gonna get both you a snack

Just to find Billy smoking in the hallway by the vending machine.

"She okay?" Billy asked messing with the pack of cigrattes.

"Yeah. She'll be fine." Y/n told, "Promised her a trip to space seemed to make her happy."

He chuckled but shook as he lifted his cigarette to his lips, Y/n taking it from him.

"She's okay, alright?" Y/n spoke crushing the burning tip before grinding the cigarette and dumping it in the arm length away trash can.

"I was smoking that."

"Its racking you with anxiety." Y/n spoke.

He was silent as she looked at him concered, "You have to say something to someone."

"I did."

"Who?"

"You."

Y/n sighed, "Billy."

"You're a superhero. Fuckin make this go away." Billy spoke looking down, "Just...fuck..."

Pulling another cigarette out he stopped himself, "just make it go away."

"By doing what Billy? You realize how I make shit disappear?" Y/n asked, leaning into him, "I kill people to make shit go away. No Mercy. I torture people Billy. You understand what the means?"

"Don't you get it?" Billy argued, "I don't care. I don't fucking care. He almost killed Max!"

"You have to tell the cops." Y/n spoke in defense, "Or I will."

"You fuckin promised."

"Billy this crosses the line." Y/n argued, "I love you, but what are you gonna let him do? He's gonna get tired of you and move on to her."

He was silent, "hard to swallow?" Y/n asked.

The look in his eye told her so, "then its the truth."

She grabbed the snacks and left Billy to think, on her way back to Max's room she stopped at a payphone dialing the house

"Dad."

"Y/n?"

"Dad I think I gotta put that vest on. Just one last time."

"The hell." Frank spoke, "where the fuck are you?"

"At the hospital." Y/n spoke, "Max's in the hosptial."

"Mayfield?"

"Yeah..." Y/n spoke, "Billy's with me...I can't tell you much more. I promised. But I'm taking on Neil Hargrove either you like it or not."

"I can't stop you can I?"

"No." Y/n spoke, "I'll be clean. I promise."

Frank sighed on the other end of the phone

"You listen to me." Frank ordered, "You do this. And you fuck this up. You fuck up what you worked for. You get that's the consequences of getting caught."

"Yes." Y/n responsed, "I love you."

"I love you too kid."

You went back to Max to sit and chat with her, you told her you had to leave for about an hour and a half but had brought her lots of sweets just in case she got hungry

"You're leaving me here?" Max asked.

"I'm coming back. Don't worry." Y/n smiled, "I always come back."

She nodded, "When it hits 3:30 am. If I'm not back in time, call my house phone okay? My dad will come help."

She nodded Y/n kissing her head as she got up and walked out, leaving in the opposite direction that Billy was sitting in.

You left to Billy's house, house quickly

If the trucks still the same as you hoped pulling up the back seat was some knives you kept on hand.

You left the mask behind and walked to the front door knocking.

"What!!?" Neil answered half assed and drunk as he opened the door, Y/n grabbing him by the shirt and rushing him forward into a wall the heavy door closing behind her.

He sobered up real quick as he tried to grab at her.

"Stop squirming fucking dick!" Y/n shouted throwing him roughly into a small decorative table causing him to fall to the ground, she grabbed him by the back of his shirt dragging him up and against the wall.

"You crazy sum of bitch! You're Frank's daughter-"

Y/n pulled out a knife, "You're gonna shut the fuck up right now."

She pressed the knife to his neck.

"And what you're gonna use that?" He threatened.

"Yeah, I am," Y/n spoke slicing quickly, the knife just passing the first layer of skin on his neck as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"So this is what you're going to do." Y/n ordered, "I'm gonna beat the shit out of you, till you bleed and you're gonna stand here and take it like all the others who have taken it from you. Then. Your gonna call the police station and turn yourself in for child abuse. And you're going to forget we ever had this chat."

"Yeah right you fuckin bitch-" A hard punch sent him to the ground.

"sure. We can play it the hard way," Y/n grabbed him by the back of his head, dragging him into the kitchen the hard tile would hurt the worse as she threw him into the island head first.

Resulting in a splat of blood.

"Does that hurt?" Y/n spoke standing tall above him, "one batch, two batch."

Y/n took a deep sigh cracking her bones: "Penny and Dime"

She returned to the hospital earlier than the time given to Max she smiled as she sat back beside her.

"Look what I brought you!" Y/n cheered, "Comic book based on one of my favorite heroes."

"Venom?" Max asked looking at the cover.

Y/n nodded, "I promise he's a lot nicer in person than on the page."

She smiled, "everything's okay?"

Y/n nodded once again, "Everything's fine Max. I heard they're gonna bring you your stuff in a few and we can leave."

And when the time came Max was released from ER, and Billy was out smoking by the truck.

It was a silent ride, you were taking their house, now that it was safe.

"Max where's your mom?"

"She was spending the night at a friend's house, her friend just had a baby."

Good they were safe and alone for the time being then

You tell Billy his dad won't hurt him. Not for a long time now anyways.

Max gets out first leaving you and Billy in the truck.

"I tried to be the superhero." Y/n told him holding out a pinky.

He looked down at it and linked pinkies with you.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet Hargrove."

And you drove back home in silence.

By the time you get home, it's what? 5? 6 am?

And when you get out: you didn't expect Frank to come rushing out the way he did to check you over.

"Hey. Kid. Jesus." Frank spoke kissing her head holding her close.

"Hey..." She responded holding him tightly.

"You okay?"

Y/n nodded hugging him tighter.

He took you inside, and immediately put you to bed, you needed it

It's one thing to attempt to kill someone but its another when it's personal

Its mentally draining, and you feel like you are on a mental break if you haven't experienced it all ready

"Get some rest. Alright?"

Y/n nodded, "Just. Stay till I fall asleep."

"You got it kid. I'm here."

He stayed with you for a solid hour until you fell asleep, tucking you in

The gang from New York was meant to be there early as well.

So when they arrived,.they were more surprised that you weren't out to greet them

"Where's Y/n?' Matt asked hands mapping out the cabin.

"In her room sleeping."

"You sound on gaurd." Matt explained, "more than usual."

"She went after a Neil Hargrove." Frank suggested.

"So Much for low Profile." Madani spoke, "what he do? Bully her?"

"Nah. She was too set on doing this." Frank answered, "he did somethin' bad."

"Glad to know neither of you changes." Curt spoke greeting Frank with a hug.

"Hi. Uh. Mr. Castle. I'm Peter." He spoke, "Y/n's uh. Good friend."

"I know who you are Parker."

"Right."

Matt knocked on your door, as you got up reluctantly with just a few hours of sleep

"What? OH HOLY SHIT!"

"Hey-"

Y/n hugged Matt quickly happy to see him, he laughed: "Good to see you too."

You've never been so happy to hug someone. And that hug lasted a while. Matts hugs are just, they just feel like home

You were happy to see everyone else

But you man. Your main man. Your partner in crime. Peter Parker was there

"Ah!!!" You shouted

"Ahh! I know!" Peter laughed, the two hugging happily

Your lego buddy is here finally

"Oh and matt!" Y/n cheered leaning into his ear.

"What!? He did what?!" Matt argued, "how dare he cheat on me."

"We were never god damn dating!" Frank shouts from the kitchen.

Y/n laughed, "come on come map out my room!"

You took him by the hand and let Peter follow Matt careful maping out the new area.

"Hey! Is that the alien head thor sent you?" Peter asked, "awesome."

"It makes a good desk lamp."

Matt stopped, "there was a boy in here. Well Boys. They like there hair products."

Y/n laughed, "yeah my friends."

"Wow. You have friends?" Matt joked.

"Jealous?"

He laughed, "extremely."

"Yep." Karen spoke from the doorway, "this is definitely your room."

"For sure." Madani spoke poking her head in, "Im surpised. Seems....alot more mellow than I thought. Was expecting blood and heads-"

She seen the floating alien head in a canister used as a desk light, "I spoke too soon."

Y/n laughed

It was good to catch up with the group, Frank was glad to be able to talk with Curt: they went way back and Karen was someone who showed him compasion

Wonder how that'd turn out when Joyce and Karen met.

Madani was middle ground between you and Frank. She knew her way around both of you in a way

Peter and you were actually normal teens together despite the pairing up when needed.

And Matt. Well Matt just made sense to be paired with you

He understood how you felt, especially about your past.

"Damn these are dark." Y/n spoke Matts glasses on her face she sitting on the couch in the living room.

Matt chuckled, "they are to block out light."

"Right." Y/n spoke, but there was a knock on the door and Y/n got up to answer it, "Hey Hair boy."

"Hey, nice glasses," He smiled, "I wanted...to talk to you about yesterday...oh uh. These are for you."

The flowers were stuck out to her, a bunch of lavender, "last of the season..."

"Thanks." She smiled, walking out the door closing it behind her.

"I...I promised I wouldn't talk about yesterday-"

"I don't care what happened." He explained, "that's not my business. I just want to know are you okay?"

Y/n smiled small and nodded, "Im okay."

"Good." He spoke, "you seemed really worried. And...I'd hate if anything happened to you and I could have helped."

"I'm a big girl Harrington. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can killer." He smiled.

"Come inside and meet everyone."

"Wait there here already?"

"Yeah."

"I look okay?" He asked.

"You look great." Y/n spoke, "Just be you."

Previous Part - Next Part.

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Tags (yes it keeps growing Im so happy!!!) @raelwrites @miiikkeey @beebslebobs @ah-witch @supernaturallover2002 @pearlstiare @simonsbluee @stilllivindue2spite @lvbred @dancingqueen21

[hotch-stufff]

Surprise, Surprise

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x F!reader

Warnings!: there are no warnings, im not telling you a single thing. It's a surprise. Just read and find out ;)

Also, as much as I love him, Jack does not exist in this story, wasn't really sure how to write him in.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't written in a while, I have had no inspiration and my bf dumped me so... ya'know that was nice. Anyways, finally getting some inspo, hopefully I will be writing more. Hope you guys enjoy this one :) Also, the mood board is mine, but the images are all from pintrest.

Word count: 1.4 k words

This is an emotional roller coaster

------------

You couldn't breathe.

You couldn't move, or speak.

Your knees gave out as you fell to the floor, sobs racking your body.

You felt arms wrap around you, but it didn't help. You were suffocating. He was your air, and he had just been ripped from your lungs. 

He was gone, dead.

Your husband.

The love of your life.

Aaron Hotchner was dead

* * *

You don't remember anything after the doctor uttered those words. You don't remember Rossi picking you up and holding you. You don't remember the sad glances, the tears shed by your teammates. You don't remember the car ride to your now empty shared apartment. You don't remember lying down and sobbing into the pillow for hours.

No, you only remember the pain. The unbearable pain of loss.

He was gone. Really gone.

You cried and cried for hours on end. Until you had no tears left to shed. 

Then you just lied there, staring at the wall, gripping his favorite shirt in your arms, remembering every little moment with him.

And it hurt like hell just thinking of everything you did with him. The day you met. Your first kiss, your first date. The day he proposed. Your wedding. Every little thing. 

And you wouldn't be able to do anything else. You wouldn't have kids with him. You guys had just talked about having a baby just the other day. He wanted one so bad. 

You shouldn't have waited.

Because now, now he was gone.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. You found yourself with home-cooked meals overflowing your fridge. A team member at your house every night. But it was all a blur.

All meaningless without Aaron.

The funeral was coming up. You didn't make any arrangements, you asked Rossi if he could handle it and he quickly agreed. 

He had taken care of finding the casket, picking a place, and finding a burial site. Everything. 

The only thing you had asked for was a closed casket.

You couldn't handle looking at him.

* * *

On the day of the funeral, the girls all came over to help you get ready. 

"Alright y/n, do you have a dress?" Penny asked as she walked out of kitchen.

"In the closet." You croaked. Your voice being hoarse from the crying and lack of speaking for the past two weeks.

"Okay I'll grab that, and shoes. Jj is going to make you breakfast and Em is going to do your hair okay?" You gave her a sad smile and a small okay.

Penny quickly walked back your hallway as Em began pulling your hair back in a low ponytail. You felt the tears begin slipping down your face once again.

Jj saw as she walked back in the room with a bagel and coffee.

"Oh sweetheart." And the dam broke. They comforted you the best they could. But they couldn't even imagine what you were going through, because he was gone.

* * *

The funeral was a blur. It seemed like everything was these days. 

It was a beautiful service. You don't remember much. Lots of hugs and 'sorry for your loss's.

It had gone quickly, and soon you found yourself in Rossi's living room. Everyone but the team had left, you sat alone. The rest were in the kitchen cleaning up.

You didn't move from your spot, sipping your wine.

Everyone walked in, and found spots around you.

It was silent. Not a single word was spoken.

"I'm taking a leave of absence." You spoke.

6 pairs of eyes shot to you, but they couldn't say they were surprised.

"It's just too much. I'm not ready to come back." Your voice was quiet. Rossi was the first to say anything.

"Take all the time you need." 

* * *

And you did. You spent about 3 months in that apartment, alone and sad and heartbroken. 

But you realized that Aaron would never want you to live like this. And you really needed to be able to pay the bills.

So after those 3 months, you gave Rossi a call. He had become until chief since you had left, and he instantly accepted you back to the team.

You were slowly getting better. 

Each passing case a distraction. 

Each one fixing you just a bit more. 

Each one giving your life a purpose, a meaning again.

And you felt better. You stopped crying yourself to sleep. You stopped sitting in silence for hours on end. You stopped crying every time you thought about him.

But you still visited him every week. You still thought about him everyday. You still wore your wedding rings, refusing to take them off.

But you were better. 

* * *

A few more months went by and you started going out with the team again. You spent more time with them. Almost every weekend. And you were somewhat okay.

And it wasn't until about 8 months after his death did your world come to another crashing halt.

You had been called in to the BAU, not entirely sure why, but you came in none the less. 

You figured it was a case, but Jj hadn't specified on the phone, which was strange.

You had walked up to the conference room, and were surprised to see the whole team sitting there ready to go. 

"Hey guys, do we have a case?" You asked, but Jj sent you a sad look causing you to grow worried.

"Y/n, you should sit down for this." You had no idea what was going on. What on earth was happening. "Peter Raymond recently resurfaced, and was taken into custody this morning about an hour ago. He resisted arrest and pulled a gun on an officer. He was shot and killed." Your heart hammered in your chest. He was gone. The bastard who killed your husband was gone. Rossi stood walking towards Jj.

A pit grew in your stomach, there was more, something you didn't know.

"8 months ago I made a decision that greatly affected this team. Aaron Hotchner received substantial injuries from the wounds he endured, but his surgery was a success and he was airlifted to an unknown location. His identity was changed in order to keep him safe. But he is alive." 

You couldn't believe your ears. He was alive. Alive? 

Your eyes shot to the door and there he stood. 

Aaron Hotchner. 

You couldn't breathe. 

You couldn't move or speak. 

He was alive, you should be ecstatic.

But you only felt anger.

Your eyes shot to Rossi.

"How dare you." You whispered out, surprising the team. You weren't an angry person, you never yelled at your teammates. But you, you were seething. "How could you do that. You knew he was alive and yet you let me suffer. You watched as I cried day and night. You watched as I let myself go, as I lost myself." You shook your head in anger.

Aaron stepped forward reaching out for you, but you shook your head.

"Dont touch me. Don't fucking touch me." You felt the tears fall down your face. Again. "You left me. You're dead. You're gone. Y-you left." You were shaking and crying and once again Aaron reached out for you, but this time you let him.

He brought you into a crushing hug, holding you like you had begged to be held for months. 

He was here, really here. You could smell and feel and see him. He was really here.

"Y-you bastard. You left me." You whispered desperately as you cried into his shirt. 

The team was quick to disperse. They too were mad at Rossi, and they wanted to reunite with Hotch. But they left you be, at least for now.

Aaron pulled back slightly, looking down at you.

"Sweetheart I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to. But he would have killed you and then he would have killed me." He had tears running down his face as well now. But you were so angry at him.

You pushed him away.

"I could have gone with you Aaron. You could have gone into witsec. You didn't need to fake your fucking death Aaron!" You yelled at him. you couldn't even believe you were eating this conversation.

"Y/n please, I'm so sorry." You were mad yeah, but you were so overwhelmingly relieved that it overpowered your anger. "I missed you sweetheart." He whispered out and you broke just a little bit more.

"You bastard. Y-you stupid man." You pulled him back to you and slammed your lips together. "You stupid, stupid man." You gasped out between kisses. 

"I know, I'm so sorry. I love you." He stated after you pulled away.

"I-I love you too." You were sobbing at this point.. "Don't ever do that to me again." He nodded, leaning in to kiss you again.

And you kissed your husband.

Because he wasn't gone. 

He was right here.

And god did it feel amazing to have him back

------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! Currently I'm only taking requests from my prompt list, which is right here! School is starting up soon though, so i may not be writing very often, but i will definitely try! Anyways, if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

City of Ash Amber And Rebirth

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/SyUJgEX by R1am_q9 The world was only supposed to forget Peter Parker existed. The spell was supposed to erase him, make it seem like he never existed. So why the hell did it feel like it was tearing him apart? Why could he hear and feel his heartbeat fading? Why did it feel like his heart was shattering from more than just grief? Words: 1618, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Characters: Bruce Wayne, Batman, Dick Grayson, Nightwing, Jason Todd, redhood, Tim Drake (DCU), Red Robin - Character, Damian Wayne, Robin (DCU), Peter Parker, Spider-Man, Cassandra Cain, Batgirl (DCU), Stephanie Brown, Spoiler, Duke Thomas, Signal Relationships: Peter Parker/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake (DCU) & Peter Parker, Cassandra Cain & Peter Parker, Stephanie Brown & Peter Parker, Selina Kyle & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Duke Thomas, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Lady Gotham & Peter Parker Additional Tags: Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort(definitely an emotional roller-coaster), is this canon? prolly not, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Red Robin (DCU), Damian Wayne is Robin, Peter Parker is Going Through It, he'll be fine, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Bruce Wayne if definitely trying his best(you try raising 15 kids it isn't easy), Batman isn't a total asshole but he isn't the best., idk how to tag bear with me., Sentient Gotham City, Peter Parker is a New Yorker(hopefully i got the way they speak right), Lady Gotham(spirit?/Goddess?/Eldritch Horror? we'll see), I think those are all the tags, i might need to update them later ngl, its 2:56am rn what am i doing bro. read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/SyUJgEX

[rallamajoop]

Obsessed with you Dracula beauty and the beast au! Who are your top 5 favorite dracula characters?

Thank you very much, kind anon (and many apologies for all the months I've kept you waiting for a real answer). We still have stuff planned for that AU, but Em has been hella busy lately running conventions and recovering from covid and all that, and so things end up on the backburner longer than they really should.

Now, if you're asking me for my favourite characters in any version of Dracula, the top spot can only go to Peter Cushing's Van Helsing(s) from the Hammer Dracula films (a quick glance at my Peter Cushing tag will make this pretty hard to deny). But if we're talking Stoker's original Dracula novel, then VH is not even going to make the top 5.

So, without further ado:

1. Mina Murray/Harker Dracula is an ensemble novel, and Mina is neither the first nor the most vocal of our narrators, but there are ways in which it feels more like her story than any other single character's ‒ and I love Mina. Aggressively sensible and practical even in the face of horror, but still human enough to take the reader through a full roller coaster of emotional whammies, Mina is the kind of heroine you just don't get in gothic novels of the era ‒ or even most of the following century, sad to say. Even if the other characters' little Mina-appreciation-society thing gets a bit OTT towards the end of the book, it's not like they're wrong to appreciate her ‒ and I can only dream there might someday be a single adaptation of Dracula that really does her justice.

That said, there is a damn good Mina in the bizarre-by-excellent 2002 silent-film-ballet adaptation, Pages from a Virgin's Diary, played by CindyMarie Small. But my favourite 'Mina' from any adaptation would have to be Kate Nelligan from Universal's (WOEFULLY under-appreciated) 1979 Dracula, which is ironic for a number of reasons, not least of which that this is one of those adaptation which have swapped the names and spend the film calling her 'Lucy'. Getting back to the list, though, it probably won't surprise you to find that the two other characters who love Mina best take out spots 2 and 3.

2. Jonathan Harker Jonathan's the kind of character who could only have come out of the Victorian era, yet there's so much about his arc that feels subversive even today (and it's been so great to see tumblr take to him).

It's so easy to dismiss poor Jonathan as a coward, a weakling, a fool (plenty have) ‒ but then, people still just aren't comfortable seeing a male character so disempowered and traumatised by a predator like Dracula. It's all very well to do that sort of thing to Mina and Lucy, but to a man? Let alone a man who survives the experience, is "forgiven" by his pre-existing love-interest, recovers through the support and validation of friends and professionals, and goes on to get a happy ending. Nor does Jonathan get nearly enough credit for the way he evolves into a grim, knife-wielding badass towards the end of the novel, the first to throw himself into the fray with his old tormentor ‒ even the one to slice open Dracula's throat in the final moments of the book. He even manages to use his boring solicitor's-clerk skills to help bring Dracula down!

Now, I'm fully aware my opinion on Jonathan has been biased by seeing so many others express these same ideas (from Cleolinda's old posts to FFA's distinctive JONATHAN HARKER WOULD NEVER-anon, whose points I found so convincing I wound up kind of writing fic about it). But I don't just love Jonathan in spite of his detractors ‒ I love him because he's a heck of an endearing woobie-survivor all in his own right. Also, he and Mina are adorable, and goddamn do they earn that happy ending.

The only adaptation I've seen to come close to Getting Jonathan Harker Right would be Michael Pink's Dracula ballet (NOT to be confused with Pages from a Virgin's Diary, based on a completely different Dracula ballet ‒ seriously, there are so many), and even that refuses to give me any really good Jonathan-reference shots. So I'll just use this one again, which does at least tie into why so many mainstream audiences might find Jonathan's story (ahem) uncomfortable.

3. Lucy Westenra ‒ and she is so close behind Jonathan I could really just declare a tie. Here's the thing ‒ there's a 'Lucy' in every Victoran Gothic novel I've read* (because if the monster doesn't victimise some truly pure, sweet, innocent young soul, how will we know how monstrous he is?) She's always someone's love interest, and she usually dies tragically. It's the kind of role you could pretty much fill with a demure lamp ‒ so it says a lot that of all those Lucies, this is one one who feels like a real character to me.

Lucy may be sweet and fragile and sheltered, but she still gets to do things. She expresses herself as eloquently as any other narrator, she turns down two proposals because she knows her own heart too well to lead anyone else on ‒ and even in the wake of her weeks of illness and own mother's death, she has the presence of mind to take charge, calm the servants, and write down a record of events she knows she might not live to tell. In a book with three proposals, two engagements, and one wedding, I will still argue that easily the best-developed relationship is the one between Lucy and Mina ‒ some of the most memorable chapters of Dracula are just the two of them, exchanging correspondence and spending time together. In other words, I can buy Lucy as a person, not just an ideal ‒ and that only makes her death all the more tragic.

It's one thing to tell me how lovable a character is supposed to be ‒ it's another to actually make me love them, and Stoker actually pulls that off.

It seems to take a ballet to really get Lucy right, so have another pic from Pages from a Virgin's Diary (Michael Pink's Lucy is also great, as is Krzysztof Pastor's ‒ did I mention there are SO MANY?). And let's throw in that great Disney-Lucy concept from Joseph Szekeres again, while we're at it.

4. Quincey Morris Quincey's an odd one: a character who was obviously supposed to be much more important in Stoker's early concepts, but whose role in the finished book is mostly limited to bringing the tally of Lucy's suitors up to a round 3. But whenever he's actually on page, he's just such a breath of fresh air! In a novel packed with long-winded, very-British characters (and Van Helsing, who's only worse), Quincey will reliably cut to the heart of the matter in a handful of words. In a world where Jonathan takes a week to figure out he's dealing with a vampire, Van Helsing won't say a word without being allotted time to prepare the equivalent of a full powerpoint presentation, and Seward never even comes up with a theory as to where all Lucy's blood is even going, Quincey shows up in the morning and has figured out that this sure does look like a vampire problem before lunch. And while everyone else is busy having an extremely-long-winded strategy meeting, Quincey's the only one to notice a suspiciously-large bat hanging out over the window and go for his sidearm. Arthur really couldn't have had a better, er 'friend' to 'comfort' him after Lucy's death (if you know what I mean). Quincey's great.

I can't even really complain that Quincey's so ignored in most Dracula-adaptations ‒ it's a long book, and you've got to cut something. But he does at least appear in Michael Pink's ballet, so have a pick of him and Arthur having a threesome er, dancing with Lucy.

5. Dracula. Look, you can't do a top-X-Dracula-characters and not find space for Dracula himself. What do you think this book is about? For a figure who's been adapted, reinvented, and flanderised to the point of absurdity over the last century, there is something rather charming about going all the way to back in the Stoker's novel, and discovering that even the original Dracula was simultaneously utterly terrifying, and kind of ridiculous. He brings living babies home in sacks to feed his wives! (He meets Jonathan on the road in what has to be a fake beard.) He arrives in Britain aboard a ghost ship in the midst of a storm! (He prepares for the journey by amassing a teaboo-level 'research library', and tries to blend in by wearing a straw-boater hat.) He delivers an extended, gloating speech about the futility of his enemies' crusade against him, when he's already claimed both their women! (Then he turns tail and flees before they can catch up with him.) I will never know if Stoker meant all this stuff to be as funny as it is to me, but I love it all regardless. On some level, even the OG Count Dracula was as human as any of us.

Obviously, I had to include Christopher Lee's Dracula here, but I am also inordinately fond of Johnny Chang's Dracula from Pages from a Virgin's Diary,

* The others would be Elizabeth from Frankenstein, Flora from Varney the Vampire, and Sybil from Dorian Grey, if you want to know.

So, in conclusion... well, there's a lot to love about Stoker's characters and his novel that you won't find in any adaptation ‒ but some of the ballet versions come pretty close. What can I say, apparently some gothic novels just call for OTT musical adaptation.

...and on that note, I really should poke Em a bit about how that next Harker-and-the-Beast bit is coming along. *g*

[shima-draws]

Seeing you mention irondad, any fic recs?

I SURE DO GOT SOME YEAH!!

Invoking Groundhog’s Day by IAmAllYetNotAtAll: By far my FAVORITE Marvel fic period. Peter snatches the Time Stone and uses it to go back and attempt to save Tony many, many, many times. It’s very painful and is loaded with angst but it’s so overwhelmingly good and the suffering is always worth it. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions and it makes me FEEL things and I just. Read it.

Twelve Days of Peter Parker by grilledcheesing: Perfect for this time of year to read bc it’s a Christmas themed fic!! Just a whole bunch of Tony’s experiences with Peter around the holidays, lots of fluff, definitely some angst too. Also let me mention that Peter and Steve have a snowball fight and it’s wonderful. Definitely check out this person’s other fics bc they’ve written a bunch of 5+1 formats and they’re all SO good. I literally want to just recommend them all on this post jfjdj but I’d be going on for too long

Lazarus, come forth by iron_spider: (TY to the person who found this one for me bc I love it to pieces.) Tony suddenly comes back from the dead and has to reenter a world that’s gone on without him. Very very fluffy, Tony is extremely emotional and clingy with everybody, all the Avengers come together and celebrate his return. But as time goes on Tony starts to realize something is wrong and there’s something more to his revival than he thought. Cue the mystery elements!!

5 Times Peter Fell and Tony Caught Him (And the 1 Time He Didn’t) by eva7673: Standard 5+1 fic but it’s SO good. Involves a bunch of different types of “falls” and Tony coming to Peter’s rescue. In the midst of all this, the rest of the estranged Avengers return to the compound, Peter is salty about Steve, and Tony is just trying to deal with everything. Also this fic has a sequel which is also very very good and heart wrenching and another emotional roller coaster that will put you through the wringer so proceed with caution :’)

Cyanide? In My Shawarma? by losingmymindtonight: Oh it’s Peter whump alright!! Peter gets cyanide poisoning while at an Avengers dinner, Tony proceeds to have a heart attack, and the rest of the Avengers are like wow Tony’s a real Dad now. But it’s also very heavy and sad and tense. Basically just a sick fic but Extreme™️ and it’s written super well!

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Turning Page- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Turning Page- Bucky Barnes x Reader

a/n: This is a 3 part one shot. I wanted all parts to have their moment since there is going to be a bunch of fluff in them. Especially because they all take place at different times. This first part will be when you find out you are pregnant and you tell Bucky about it.

Words Count: 2300

Warnings: Fluff a lot of it. A hint of insecurity 

Summary: You have been feeling weird for the past couple of days. You decided to take a test and the results shocked you. Was telling Bucky about the results a great idea?

Hmm, the smell of freshly baked cookies surrounds you as you walk into the kitchen. Besides the smell of roses, your second favorite smell was the smell of homemade food. 

For the past three days, you haven’t felt the greatest. You had been vomiting, having random headaches, and you felt a very high fever. You didn’t think of it much. You must have been getting the cold or the flu.

You loved eating Chinese food, but for the past three days, whenever you wanted to eat it, you would immediately vomit it. You tried getting the food from different places, but it always led to the same results.

Searching your symptoms on the internet wasn’t the greatest idea, but you were just curious about what you might have.

Early signs of pregnancy

Signs that you might be Pregnant

Symptoms of the Flu

Those were your main results when you googled your symptoms. The one that made the most sense to you was that you might have the flu. Then it clicked to you. You and Bucky have never used protection, especially because you are on the pill. So you weren’t concerned about the lack of condoms. 

“Could I have been pregnant” “No, it can’t be” “what if I was? How will I tell Bucky?” your heart started to race faster and faster as your mind started to wonder if you were pregnant. You go through a roller coaster of emotions. You were excited, terrified, happy, sad, worried, every emotion in the book. Happy because you and Bucky have been talking about wanting to start your own little family. You were terrified because what if he didn’t want to have a kid this early? What would happen to Bucky? Would he quit? That was never something that popped up for the both of you.

Wanda walks into the room with a worried look on her face. “I don’t want to be that person, but I can hear your thoughts miles away. Is everything alright?” she takes a seat next to where you were sitting. She takes your hand and tries to comfort you. “I can go buy you a couple of tests if that brings your mind to ease.” you give her a small nod. She leans in forward to hug you. “I’ll be back. Wait right here and try to relax.” 

The moment she left the room, you go to the bathroom and start preparing for a bath. You stare at yourself in the mirror, looking at your lower stomach. You were able to see a small bump. You place your hand on your stomach. Now you were fantasizing, what if you were pregnant? Would it be a mini you or a mini James? 

You had the biggest smile at the thought that you might be carrying a baby in your stomach. 

You lower your body into the warm bath full of bubbles. You now felt relaxed. All you could focus on was the playlist that Bucky created for you, full of music that reminded him of you. The playlist went from 40’s music to present-day songs. Your mind wanders back to that day, where he was showing you the playlist he created for you.

You both were cuddling on the couch watching Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back. Your head was lying on his right shoulder and your arms wrapped around his bicep. Bucky looked confused watching the movie “so this is what you and Peter enjoy watching?” 

“Yes, this is a good movie, and if you don’t be quiet, I’m going to throw a handful of popcorn towards you” you giggled a little. You were serious. If he didn’t stay quiet, you were going to do that.

He turns his head, pressing his lips against your forehead. “Doll, I would like to see you try,” He whispers as he maintains his lips pressed on your skin. 

Without hesitation, you take a handful of popcorn and throw it to his face. He does the same thing and throws popcorn at you. At this point, you both forgot about the movie and focused on just throwing each other popcorn. There were shared laughs and smiles between the two of you.

Bucky moves to the floor, grabbing the pillow next to him, trying to protect himself. You grab the pillow next to you as well. 

Minutes pass by, and now the living room looked like a mess. It seemed like a popcorn machine has just exploded. The bowl that you and Bucky were getting popcorn was now empty.

You both were trying to catch your breath. From all the laughter you both had. Bucky gets back up and sits on the couch. He put his right arm around your shoulder. 

“Now, how are we going to watch the movie without popcorn?” you cross your arms and have a small frown on your face.

With his metal hand, he unwraps your arms and takes your left hand. He brings it up to his lips and softly kisses it “that sounds like a problem, doesn’t it doll?” he had a small smirk on his face.

You ignored him and snarky comment. It did make you giggle a little. 

Once the movie ended, Bucky reaches to his pocket and takes out his phone. “Doll, I have a surprise for you” his voice got small and a bit shaky. He was always nervous about giving you a present. He would always think that you wouldn’t like it.

He scratches his head, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to give this to you. It was something different it wasn’t the usual thing that he has given you. Such as flowers or food.

You notice how tense he was, so you place your hand on his cheek. You slowly move your thumb against his skin. “Baby, no matter what it is. I know I’m going to love it” you nodded briefly with a small smile on your face.

He takes a big gulp, but he was a bit more relaxed than he was a couple of minutes ago. “okay,” there is a small pause in between. He was unsure if he wanted to continue “Just to let you know Peter helped me create this since he knows more about this magic box than I do” he gave a brief giggle and hands you the phone “look for the app called Spotify, and there should be a playlist with your name on it.” 

You always found it cute that he never knew how the technology worked, but he was always willing to learn for you, as you scroll through the apps trying to find Spotify. The moment you opened the app, there it was the playlist made for you. The name of it was “songs that remind me of my angel.” You clicked on the playlist to see what songs it had. The playlist had over 100 songs.

Tears start falling down your cheeks. You were happy. You couldn’t believe that he had done this for you. 

Bucky had a concerned look on his face. “Doll, no, don’t start crying.” His voice was shaky, and he started to panic slowly. He intended never to make you cry.

You place both of your hands on his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. As you both were kissing, you get on top of him, leaving no space in between the two of you. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer. 

You pull away for a moment. “Thank you, Bucky. I love it”

-----------------------------

You hear a knock on your door. “Hey, I’m back from the store with the tests” You sighed in relief. It was Wanda. 

You rapidly get out of the bathtub and grab a towel to wrap yourself in. “You can come in, Wanda.”

Wanda opens the door and places the tests on the countertop. She grabs a towel “turn around. I want to help you dry your hair” you listened to her and let her dry your hair. “I don’t know how you might feel, but one thing I will reassure you about is that no matter what the results may say. Bucky is always going to love you.” 

With what Wanda has just told you, it put your mind at ease. She was right. No matter what, he was always going to be there. You take Wanda’s hand “can you stay here with me while I take these?” you had a small smile on your face as she gives you a nod.

You put on your PJs. You didn’t want to stay in a towel anymore. Opening the box, you can feel your heart racing, a hundred beats a minute. 

The moment you took the test, you stared at it. You were waiting for the results to pop up. On the box, it said to wait for five minutes. To you, those five minutes felt like an eternity. You wanted to know, and you wanted to know now.

Positive.

Two dark blue lines, you started at those lines for a couple of minutes. Those minutes felt like they were hours. You wanted to make sure you weren’t delusional and that you saw those lines. The results on that little stick were positive. You were pregnant, something you thought wasn’t possible. But it happened, your heart full of joy and love. You were going to be a mom, and Bucky was going to be a dad. The little family you both, have dreamt for years is finally happening. 

Before telling Bucky about the news, you wanted to feel confident about the results. Lucky, the pregnancy test box that Wanda bought had two inside. You take a big breath before you take it, just in case if those results were negative. You didn’t want to your hopes up. You take the second test, and the same dark blue lines from earlier show up. Once again, your heart fills up with happiness, joy, but mainly love.

You couldn’t wait till Bucky came home. You were so excited to tell him. 

Wanda didn’t have to ask you about your results. She already knew, especially because you had the biggest smile on your face. 

Hours pass by, you were thinking about how you were going to tell him. “Should I just tell him the moment he walks in?” “no, that would catch him by surprise” “Should I-?” your thoughts were running wild. Before you knew it, the door was opening.

Bucky throws his bag onto the couch. He looked exhausted; it looked like he had a very long day. You run towards him and hug him tightly. “Woah, Woah, looks like someone missed me” He holds you and gently kisses your head. 

He grabs your hand and starts walking towards the direction where the couch was. He sits down and pats his thigh as he wants you to sit on his lap. The moment you sat down, he wraps his arms around you. “I’m glad that I’m finally holding my baby girl in my arms.” Whenever he would call you his baby girl, your cheeks would turn bright red with the biggest smile. “I can’t get enough of that beautiful smile of yours. Such a sweet smile that lights up your whole face” He places his hand on your cheek and pulls you in for a kiss. 

You lay your head on his shoulder. You were taking a big breath before you said anything. Once again, your heart was racing. “Bucky,” there was a small pause. You wanted to make sure you said the right words and that he would be able to hear you. “I’m pregnant.” 

Silence 

You could hear his heartbeat increase. You were unsure what face he had. You didn’t know what emotion he was portraying. All you could feel and hear is the sounds of his heartbeat dramatically increase. 

The silence lasted for minutes. “Oh no, did I do the wrong thing by telling him?” you thought. You hated the silence. Your stomach started twisting and turning.

Bucky takes a big breath and places his hand on your lower stomach. “are we-“ he pauses for a moment, his voice got small and shaky, “are we going to be parents?” He starts to slowly move his hand in circular motions on your stomach.

You left up to your head from his shoulder and looked at him. He had the biggest smile on his face, tears forming in his eyes. He was happy. He knew the answer you were going to say without saying a word. Just the look on your face said it all. 

Bucky places his hand behind your head, slowly running his fingers through your hair. He pulls you in, pressing his lips against yours. It felt like time has stopped for the both of you. All you could focus on was how soft he felt against your lips, how addictively he invaded all your senses. 

You both were kissing like there was no tomorrow and as if your lives were dependent on it. Bucky tongue slips inside your mouth, gentle but yet so demanding. Even though this wasn’t the first time he had done that, it always felt like it was. This was the type of kiss that melted you into his arms, every square inch of your body dissolves into his. Moving your hand from his neck to his hair, you grip his hair, pulling him closer. 

Without breaking the kiss, he pushes you gently onto the couch. Now you were lying down. Meanwhile, he was on top of you. He pulled away for a moment and had the cutest smile on his face “Baby girl. We are going to be parents” you give him that same smile and give him a small nod.

[flamingo-writes]

Ch. 8: When You're Close To Me

Keep You On My Side, Chapter 8: Slow Down, Fade Out

Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker x [Female] Reader

[Previous] [Next]

A/N: Sorry for the delay (again)! I've been busy with work, besides I've had a few ideas for other fics roaming in my head and making it harder to concentrate in this one. However, fret not, my friends, the next chapter is almost done, and it's a long one!

Not so fun fact: Gal is inspired on someone I did meet in real life, someone I considered to be my best friend for three years, and during this time how much he manipulated and gaslighted me was unbelievable. Many of the things I wrote about Gallagher were my personal experience with this person (except the part in which I got romantically involved with them). It was a very dark moment in my life, one time I saw them outside my favorite Japanese place and had a panic attack just from seeing him just like the MC did last chapter from seeing Gal outside the coffee shop.

Also I projected myself again a little too much in this chapter. I've been dealing with my problems by going swimming just like MC did in this same chapter.

Summary: Friday night comes by and you go out with Peter. However, you would've never guessed how your entire day was going to turn out, as you had a roller coaster of emotions after the other.

Warnings: mentions of stalking,

Word Count: 4.8 K

“Do you mind if we make a small stop by my apartment?” He said as he offered to carry your backpack for you.

After having argued with him about the topic, you finally gave in and let him carry your things for you as you rolled your eyes playfully at him and sighed.

“So?” He asked.

“Yeah, sure…” You replied looking at him with a soft pout.

“Are you seriously mad at me for wanting to be a gentleman and carry your things?” He asked with a cheeky smirk.

“I am trying to make you feel guilty” You said in a dramatic voice. “Is it working?”

“Awh, come on” Peter laughed and looked at you. “It is not working, by the way” He said as he looked back at the front. A few seconds later, he looked back at you, the pout still there. “Seriously, it’s useless…” He laughed and looked away, sighing loudly. “Okay, fine. You win” He giggled. “Still not giving your backpack back…” He said as you giggled.

“Well, at least I won,” You said with a cheeky voice.

You two walked a few more blocks as you joked back and forth, shyly shoulders and the back of your hands brushing gently. Feeling like a teenager all over again, but not sure you liked it. It made you feel silly. Peter on the other hand was scared of causing a negative reaction if he held your hand.

After you finally made it to his apartment, you walked inside, noticing the small place. Barely enough for a single person. Although, you noticed a rather odd amount of cardboard boxes, some of them already sealed with tape, others halfway through getting filled with Peter’s stuff.

“Are you moving out?” You asked curiously as Peter shrugged softly.

“Lost my job, and freelance isn’t enough for me to pay rent right now…so, I’m going to be moving back with May for a while…” He said softly.

“Sounds good…”

“Yeah, I’ll help her with the expenses, and keep the house clean and all” He sighed. “It’ll be just like when I was in my first year of college…” He purred.

“Is that bad?”

“No, not at all…It’s melancholic. I’ll miss my full autonomy, but getting back home knowing there’s someone waiting for me it’s a very nice feeling as well” He said, his smile spreading and softening as he walked to his closet. "Let me change real quick, I've been running errands all morning and I know better than to show up like that to May's" He chuckled softly as he grabbed clothes and went to the bathroom. "Won't take long…" He said cheerfully.

You nodded and kept looking around curiously, as you usually could learn a lot about someone from how their homes looked like. Your eyes going around the corners as you took notes of the kind of person Peter was.

For the most part it was tidy, except for small things scattered around. Pens, some of his photography equipment, notes and post-it notes, it added something quirky to the place. Posters and pictures hung on the walls, and a small pile of CD stacked. Who even owned CDs anymore? You chuckled softly as you thought how cute of Peter to keep his CDs and have them visible on his apartment and not hidden at the back of the closet.

As your eyes glanced over the desk and the first thing that caught your attention was the cork board. It had so many pictures in them. Several of what you assumed was Peter and his family growing up, two really cool Spiderman pictures, some of the pictures he took the day of the abandoned building with your friends, and a few pictures of Gwen.

So he still missed her, you thought, and of course he did. Wasn't Gwen his first love? That was going to be hard to compete for, but you didn't try to, and it didn't seem necessary to do so as Peter seemed to correspond to your feelings. Sure, you weren’t Gwen, but you didn’t try to become her anyways. And Peter seemed happy with your own person.

Next to one of her pictures, there was one in particular that made your breath shorten. It was a picture of you from the day at the abandoned building. But it was just you, looking up with a cheeky grin, perhaps you were talking to Miles. You chuckled softly at the gesture. Slightly creepy, you thought, but made you realise you weren't the only one constantly fantasising about things. If Peter had that there, it meant he often thought of you, just like you'd often think of him.

What you saw next made your heart stop. Underneath your photo you saw a torn piece of paper. One you recognized instantly. The day Spiderman had left that message on the bridge, when so many people claimed to be MJ. The real MJ had left a note and Spiderman had apparently found it. Your note.

'Just like you, I am someone concealing my identity' in your handwriting staring back at you. Underneath a yellow post it with a messy note written there. ' Same handwriting?' It read and the post-it pointed at a photo of Miles's mural. Same mural that had your handwriting in it, as well as a photo you recognized from one of Kylie’s tweets in which she'd taken a pic of a piece of writing from your journal.

Two thoughts hit you like an ice bucket on your back.

Peter having MJ's note from the bridge confirmed he was Spiderman. You'd climbed the bridge very recklessly to try and leave the note higher than most of the other notes. For him to find it would mean either Peter lurked through the notes and found yours while climbing the bridge or Spiderman did by swinging and sticking to the bridge. But Peter or Spiderman had recognized MJ’s style just by reading the note… Peter was Spiderman. Your breath shook.

And second, Peter was good . He was able to recognize MJ's handwriting from Kylie’s tweet, and yours in the mural. Even before you decided to send him the email as MJ and let him read your draft.

The draft to your novel, in which a guy named Mark Jensen was both a writer and journalist documenting the rise of a revolutionary group. Peter must know by now, but he hadn't brought it up yet.

You felt your legs get weak at the sudden rush of emotions as you walked to his bed and sat on the edge as you put all your thoughts in order. You tried taking deep breaths. You pulled out your phone trying to distract yourself from what you'd seen in his cork board.

Shortly after Peter walked out in a plain black v neck shirt that fit his chest a little too well as you felt your heart skip a beat. It was a simple look. Just some jeans, boots and the v neck shirt but god, he looked–

"You look pretty nice, Pete" You said, containing yourself and trying to sound casual.

"Thanks. May gave me the shirt for my birthday, thought it would be nice to wear it" He said as he grabbed his wallet from the night stand. "Ready?"

You thanked the shirt for looking so good on him. Or else, your mind would still be desperately circling the realisation you just had. It was hard to concentrate when he looked like that .

"Sure…" You said slightly breathless as you grabbed your backpack and swung it over your shoulder.

"Can I?" He purred in a gentle voice as you met his stare and smirked softly.

"No, Peter. You already carried it on the way here…You've done more than enough" You sighed.

"I don't think May will be exactly happy to see you carrying your backpack…"

"Oh come on" You whined.

"She'll get mad at me. Saying she didn't raise me that way…horrendous, you don't want to see a pouty May, it'll break your heart…" He teased with a cheeky grin.

"You are impossible, Parker" You sighed with a cheeky grin as you handed him your backpack and he smirked proudly.

"And you're a darling" He said with a cheeky smile. "C'mon" He said happily.

A few blocks and one sub later, you followed Peter into a small and quiet neighbourhood. Houses piled next to each other as you thought about how Peter had grown in these streets. And you wondered the kind of person May was. Although you already had a good idea about how May must like and how Ben must have been like considering they voth raised Peter.

Peter guided you into a small porch as he grabbed the keys from the back pocket of his jeans and opened the door, letting you walk in first.

"May! We're here…" He said loudly, announcing your arrival, as his voice echoed around the house.

"Kitchen!" A gentle voice replied as he looked at you and smiled, jerking his head and pointing with it to the general direction

You shyly followed him as your eyes moved around, taking in the cosy details of the home already making you feel welcome as the sweet smell of bakery flooded your nose.

Peter went to the living room, placing your backpack on one of the couches. Shyly, you followed him around as if you were going to get lost inside the cosy home. You followed his steps into the kitchen as you saw an elder woman, who looked perhaps in her mid 50's, and the same kind and gentle stare Peter had.

He walked up to her and kissed her head as she turned to face him and greeted him with a tight hug.

"How is it going, Peter? I'm so glad you guys could make it…" She purred.

"Thank you for having us, May" He replied as he broke the hug and looked at you, calling your name softly. "This is my aunt May" He then proceeded to introduce you to her as you walked closer to her and shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you” You replied politely as she gave you the kindest smile.

“Nice to meet you too, sweetie” She purred as she then looked at Peter. “Can you help me set up the table?”

“Sure” He replied as he moved around the kitchen, getting the silverware to the table as you stood there feeling uncomfortably awkward.

“Can I help somehow?” You asked.

“No, it’s alright sweetie. You’re a guest. Don’t worry about it” She purred.

As much as you insisted, May kept telling you to not worry about it. The three of you had dinner as you chatted about all sorts of things. Anecdotes from high school, anecdotes of your own. It was nice. A pleasant dinner, with endless talking. And, although you’d been hanging out with Peter a lot in the last few months, the both of you still had quite a number of stories to tell each other.

Especially you. After having shamefully admitted to May that you were sort of a rule breaker at school, and Peter backing you up by stating “you were a rebel with a cause, though”, you brought up many of the things you’d done. Leaving aside the Flash’s car incident, you told them about the time you basically caused a scene when a teacher treated a foreign student poorly for not being able to speak English properly by insulting the teacher in a foreign language. How you’d convinced several of your guy friends to show up to school with short shirts after one of your best friends wasn’t allowed to go into school because her skirt was too short.

While May wouldn’t probably approve of these things, she liked your fearless spirit to do what you believed was right. And suddenly understood why Peter liked you. And how much he liked you. The way his eyes stared at you with a particular attention and colourful spark. May liked the way you seemed to look back at him with the same spark. Reflecting onto each other’s eyes as if May wasn’t even there to begin with. She never thought she’d see Peter like that again. Not since Gwen Stacy.

After dinner, you’d begged Peter and May to let you help cleaning or tidying up after dinner and reluctantly, Peter let you help by taking the dishes to the sink while he washed them. You talked back and forth about how good dinner was, and especially the pie May had baked. And Peter was right. She’d made several pies. Insisting that you’d take one of them for your roommates too, you couldn't help but think she was perhaps the sweetest human being you’d met.

Dinner was good. The pie was exceptional. And the company was perhaps the best part of it. May was kind, Peter had you over the moon the entire time. And on your walk home, the conversation stretched out.

Throughout the entire dinner, you noticed the way he was looking at you, melting your heart everytime you two made eye contact. You knew you were doomed, but god, what a good way to go. As Peter walked you home, shortly after leaving, shoulders bumping against each other and hands brushing gently. Making you feel like a silly teenager. Heart on your throat and subtle blush on your cheeks, only to feel your knees about to give up on you when Peter decided he had had enough of it and decided to finally hold your hand a few blocks after leaving May’s.

You didn’t hesitate in the slightest to close your hand around his, fingers entwined delicately as you felt the heat in your cheeks rising. And for the rest of the walk, you remained that way. Hands entwined, as you walked with slow steps, trying to make the walk to your apartment last longer as you were immersed in the conversation.

By the time you were outside your building, you stopped and looked at Peter as he handed you your backpack.

“You’re home” He purred as he stared at you with kind melting eyes.

Captured by the tender look he was giving you, you felt your heartbeat rising, knowing what was going to happen next. And god, how much you were anticipating this moment. As the thoughts about him being Spiderman were still running at the back of your head, right now it made no difference. Your feelings for him were the same regardless of that piece of news. You liked Peter , not Spiderman. Even if he wasn’t Spiderdman, you’d still like him.

“Thank you” You purred. “For everything. The dinner, the pie, carrying my laptop the entire time…” You purred.

“Oh, it’s the least thing I could do for everything you’ve done for me” He replied with a smile, his eyes slowly scanning your face as he took a step forward, slowly, reading your body language to know whether to proceed or not. As you didn’t move in the slightest and remained with your eyes on his, he leaned forward, bumping his forehead to yours.

“Hey…” He purred, as you chuckled.

“Hello” You replied.

His face leaning closer, as he teasingly ran the tip of his nose along yours, prolonging the anticipation the two of you were feeling. And as much as you were enjoying this little act of his, what happened next ruined the mood like very few things could.

Your phone rang as you sighed disappointed, and Peter chuckled softly as he could tell how annoyed you got by it.

“I’m gonna kill someone” You joked with a bitter chuckle as you pulled your phone out and looked at the screen. Big letters shone in your screen reading ‘UNKNOWN’ and underneath a phone number you did not recognize as you frowned confused, your phone ringing and vibrating in your hand.

“What?” You purred confused.

“You’re gonna pick it up?” He asked.

“I don’t like picking up when unknown numbers are calling…” You said.

“Want me to pick up for you?” His words pierced your heart in the kindest of ways as you looked up at him with a pleading look and he chuckled softly. “C’mon, let me do this for you” He insisted.

“I-I…do-don’t know…” You purred awkwardly.

“Hey, it’s fine, let me help…” He said smiling softly as you gave him your phone and he picked up. “Hello?” He said casually as you heard a guy’s voice on the other end and he frowned softly. “Who is this?” He said as you heard a reply on the other end but couldn’t figure out what he was saying nor who he was. “Yes, it is. Look man, give me a name and I’ll think about it” Peter chuckled bitterly and then frowned. “No, I’m sorry. It’s not going to be possible. How did you get this number?” Peter’s voice got more serious. His jaw clenched and pulled the phone away from his ear, hanging up as the voice hadn’t finished talking.

“Who was that?” You asked worried as you’d noticed his reaction and the fact that he’d hung up without a warning and blocked the number as you started feeling worried.

“It’s best if you don’t know” He replied softly.

“Oh, shit…it was Gal, wasn’t it?” You said and you felt your heart stop for a painful second and you saw the way Peter looked back at you with a paralyzed look, no answer, and confirming your suspicions.

“I’m sorry…” He purred your name softly.

Your gut twisted and you felt an uncomfortable pressure at the back of your throat, similar to when you're going to puke. The nausea slowly took over as you shook your head and closed your eyes.

"N-no…it-it's…fine. If I had answered I-" You sighed and shook your head. "I would've puked already…" You sighed, meeting his stare. "Thank you…And, I mean…for everything, not just…answering my phone" You replied nervously as the thought of Gal perhaps stalking you terrified you. His timing was oddly perfect, and knowing him, he might as well be lurking somewhere.

"Yeah. Sure, right. No problem" Peter purred as Gal's words kept circling in his head.

"What do you need a name for? That's not relevant. Let me talk to her, its important"; "Fine, asshole. Tell her Gal is talking, and it's urgent" ; "Why do you care how I got her number? Are you a jealous boyfriend or something?".

"I…ha-have…"You sighed nervously as Peter nodded, understanding even before you spoke.

"Ye-yeah…go…" He purred softly as he, once again, frustrated as he was planning on finally kissing you tonight but once again Gal got in the way.

You basically ran up the stairs, completely ignoring the elevator as you wanted to drown the thoughts bubbling up in your head from what had just happened. As you kicked the door open, you closed it and left your backpack on the floor by the door and stared into the wall at the opposite end of the apartment.

“Hey, girl. How did your date go?” Kylie asked with a cheeky tone, her voice echoing from the kitchen.

“Awful” You sighed defeated.

“What?” Miles barked as he jumped out of his seat in the kitchen and walked towards you.

“It was perfect” You whined “Peter was perfect. The dinner was pretty good, the pie was amazing, his aunt May is a total sweetheart…” You sighed.

“What happened?” Andy asked following Miles.

“We walked for 3 miles from his aunt’s place so we had more time to talk and to avoid the noise and people from the subway…” You groaned. “I think Gal is stalking me…” You sighed.

“Whoa, wait, friend, hold up” Miles hissed.

“Peter was just about to kiss me, when my phone rang…” You sighed defeated.

“It was him ?” Miles barked.

“What did he say?” Kylie rushed after your friends to meet you by the door.

“I don’t know, Peter picked up…”

“How did he get your number?” Andy asked.

“Like hell I know. Peter asked him too…” You purred.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry…” Kylie sighed.

“If he knows I’m going out with Peter…he’ll try to scare him away…” You purred as you started walking towards your room, the thoughts you were running away from climbing the stairs were finally catching up.

“You think it’ll work?” Andy asked.

“I don't know. The man is a psycho…” Miles replied.

“That bad?” Kylie asked.

“You have no idea what he’s capable of doing” You said, your voice turning serious and cold. You shook your head and walked to the kitchen. “By the way, Peter’s aunt sent a pie for you guys” You said leaving the small bag with the pie in it over the table and then headed to your room.

“Yo, shit, for real?” Miles said surprised. “God bless that woman! Please, you’ve got to marry that guy”

“Shut up! We’re not even a couple” You groaned from your room.

“Yet” Kylie added.

“I mean, he makes you happy, his aunt makes pie for us…I agree…you should marry him” Andy teased.

After a few minutes you walked out of your room with your gym bag over your shoulder as you’d changed into gym clothes and had your swimming suit underneath. Your friends were swarmed around the kitchen table feasting on the pie as they all praised it over and over again.

As Adam looked up, his mouth stuffed with pie he frowned softly.

“Where are you going?” He asked with his mouth full.

“To the pool…”

“Dude, it’s midnight” Miles sat up straight and looked at you with a scolding stare.

“I need to clear my head”

“At midnight? When your ex is possibly stalking you?” Miles questioned with a frown.

“Do you prefer I go for a run in the streets? The pool has cameras and two guards 24/7…” You told Miles as you met his hazel eyes.

“Fine. go for a midnight swim, you freak. Text me when you get there. And when you leave, though…” He said.

“I will”

“If you take too long to text me, I’ll call you. And if you don’t pick up, I’m calling the police immediately” He threatened as you chuckled and looked at him over your shoulder as you walked to the door.

“I will text you, mom ” You chuckled looking at Miles as he smiled back at you.

“Just sayin’ man…” He giggled as he watched you leave through the door, feeling slightly worried, as apparently you had the worst luck when it came to being on the street.

The smell of chlorine and the humidity in the air seemed to have an instant calming effect on you as you stepped inside the pool waving at one of the guards by the door. Already familiarised with his face as you usually saw that same man with his characteristic moustache over his lip at different times at different days in the pool.

“Can’t sleep?” He greeted you with a gentle nod.

“I’ll tire myself out, perhaps I’ll be able to get some decent sleep” You replied with a smile.

“Knock yourself out, kiddo”

“Thanks, Hank” You purred as you went into the changing room and left your things in one of your lockers.

And soon, you found yourself jumping into the pool. Your body soon got used to the cool water, as you started swimming back and forth. Most of your mind focused on your technique and breathing every three strokes. Your eyes constantly glued to the dark blue line painted at the bottom. This line seemed oddly therapeutic when you were overthinking stuff. Something about this blue line running across the pool helped you focus on seeing your problems from a more objective perspective. Perhaps it was your survival instinct telling you to constantly pull out of the water to breathe, and that same survival instinct made you realise that Gal stalking you couldn’t be any worse than drowning or swallowing water by mistake. Man, swimming helped put things in perspective.

Not that you were afraid to drown. You’d been swimming since a very young age and felt way too comfortable in the water to even feel like your life was at risk. It was the fact that every few seconds you had to take a breath and keep swimming.

Your mind kept going from one thought to the other, like ping pong. Bouncing between Gal and Peter being Spiderman. The blue line stretching along with your thoughts.

Peter thought Gal's timing was too convenient, and thought perhaps Gal was stalking you. The thought alone made him cringe uncomfortably. What kind of bastard was Gal that he'd left you with PTSD, and now he was stalking his ex. Two very big red flags.

As he went by his night routine of patrolling Queens, the last few days he'd been trying to track the two guys known as The Shocker and The Prowler. He'd gotten a few clues from interrogating random criminals on the street and a little bit of dirty playing. He knew the Prowler and the Shocker were going to meet each other in another alley

And as soon as he spotted the familiar suit, he swung closer to the Prowler, but not close enough so he could be easily spotted as he tried to listen to their argument. As they argued back and forth, the Prowler threatened the Shocker as he simply shrugged it off saying he was technically abiding by his part of the deal. And before Peter could manage to hear any information that could reveal either of their identities, the Prowler was the first one to attack.

He jumped, propelled by his boots at the Shocker as the Shocker countered and attacked with his gauntlet, shocking the Prowler in the process. A loud roar, as the two men started fighting each other, and the midnight bypassers started screaming and running. Peter decided to come out from his hiding spot, mostly to drive the people away. At least until Peter was swinging towards one of the pedestrians when he felt his spider sense screaming at him as he looked over his shoulder.

In a split of a second, he used his free arm to cover himself from the kick the Prowler threw at him as he let go of his web.

“I told you to stay out of my shit!” The Prowler barked as Peter fell to the ground.

Groaning softly, he ignored the Prowler’s comment as Peter quickly ran towards a guy closeby.

“Sir, you have to get out of here” He said as he grabbed the man from the shoulders and showed him an alternate way to leave.

“What the fuck?!”

Peter’s blood turned cold. His heart stopped beating. And in the fraction of a second that took him to turn around, stretched out and felt like years. That was your voice. And as he tried to figure out what were you doing there at that time, his eyes finally fell on you as you looked terrified and confused as you swung on your toes ready to turn around and leave.

He yelled your name instinctively as he tried to rush by your side and take you out of there as soon as possible, as his body reacted without him being aware of it. The trauma left by Gwen’s death didn’t let him take a single millisecond to think as his body just acted, trying to get you out of the warzone.

“Out!” The Prowler growled as he hit Peter in the ribs. His spider sense too numbed down by his growing feat he was sent flying a few metres away on his way to reach you.

He saw you slowly turning upon hearing your name, his heart stopping again for another long second as he threw a web at the closest building and pulled himself, trying to gain some speed and momentum as he flew your way. You looked at him with a frightened stare as he landed on the ground, the sharp pain of his ribs making him groan but not stop as he clung to you, wrapping around you and shooting another web as he took you to the top of a closeby building. A building far away enough from the conflict between both villains, but close enough where he’d be able to keep an eye on you in any case.

You screamed and latched on to him as he swung and felt like your soul was leaving your body, and hid your face in his shoulder as the adrenaline rush took over. When he landed, he gently grabbed you by the waist pulling you away as you felt your knees weak from the sudden rush of emotions.

“Stay here, don’t go down, don’t do anything. I’ll come back for you as soon as I’m done” He babbled as he turned around and jumped down as you watched him incredulous, your heart beating fast as you dropped your gym bag and approached the edge.

“Peter!” You cried out as you started getting worried.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes and comments are very well appreciated!

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[startanewdream]

(Not) A Summer Date

Written for @efkgirldetective's Summer of Jily. I couldn't resist writing about Carnivals (even if the ones I researched are nothing like the modern ones). Thanks for organizing this!

Please enjoy this silly sample of James and Lily spending a day together in what James swears it's not a date.

Read on AO3 or below:

____________________

It’s not a date.

It’s not.

They are just two friends who got dumped by their friends and happen to be at the same place at the same time. A place and a time they agreed upon previously. Together.

It’s not a date.

At least, that’s what James tells himself over and over, though as time goes by he really can’t tell why it isn’t one.

He is alone with Lily, after all, the girl he has had a crush on since forever—it’s since Fourth Year, but he doesn’t remember ever fancying anyone before that—just the two of them enjoying each other’s company. It was not supposed to be like that. They had exchanged letters a lot that Summer and when Lily mentioned a Muggle carnival happening in a park in London, James had jumped at the opportunity of going there with her.

Not just him, of course, this was all for Sirius’ interest in Muggle culture, or so James had expressly written in the letter back to her. And if James’ friends would go, then it wasn’t a date; he loved his friends, but he didn’t bring them to a date.

Except Sirius cancelled at the last time, Peter had owled him saying he couldn’t come and Remus had said he was feeling under the weather, all in the last possible minute, so James couldn’t warn Lily in time to reschedule. He had gone to the park, feeling strangely awkward, and to his surprise, Lily had shown up alone too. He had expected her friends to be there with her—they had formed a nice group of friends in the last year—, but he supposed she was equally dumped by her friends.

James had guessed they would cancel, but instead of looking upset, Lily had just smiled at him, her cheeks coloured because of the warm sunny day—though it was already dusk—and had just asked him what he wanted to do first.

And that is how James finds himself on a date with Lily.

Except it isn’t a date.

He knows this is not one, no matter how much he wishes things were different. If it were a date, he would have grabbed her hand when they went to that roller coaster that he really doubted if it was safe (though he kept quiet and faced it bravely); or he would have pulled her closer when they left the spinning ride, holding her in his arms until the world stopped dizzying around them.

And most of all he’d not have enjoyed the view from the giant wheel if they were on a date. Instead, James would have gathered his courage to place his arm around Lily’s bare shoulder, with some excuse about keeping her warm—even though the summer night was warm enough—that Lily would accept because it would be a date. She’d bit her lip to avoid a smile at his clumsy excuse, her eyes shining with the shadow of her amusement, and James’ attention would be diverted to her lips; she’d open them in a quiet invitation, and when he’d look back at her eyes, her answer would be ready even before he’d make the question.

And then, finally, he’d approach her, lips brushing tenderly in a way he could feel her smile before…

Before nothing, because they are not on a date and James doesn’t want to mess up their friendship.

That’s what they are. Friends. Who are certainly not on a date.

After the giant wheel, he gives up on any ride. Those eight minutes were enough to make him crawl up the walls, his treacherous mind unable to drift away from the fact that he was alone with Lily in an enclosed cabin and James doesn’t think he can survive another emotion like that.

They stop for a quick dinner and Lily introduces him to popcorn and his favourite rainbow cotton candy.

‘This can’t be normal,’ he mumbles, watching as the vendor prepares him the cotton candy.

‘It’s magic,’ she teases him. She picks up the cotton candy and eats a mouthful with a challenging expression on her face, but James doesn’t concentrate on this. If he’d kiss her now, James knows he would taste all the sugar on her lips.

His mouth gets dry.

He eats the cotton candy in a quiet silence after that, careful to look at everywhere but to his side, where Lily stands carefully licking the candy out of her fingers.

This is not a date; this is pure torture.

After that, James supposes he should tell her it’s late and they should go home, but Lily grabs him by the hand—her fingers entwining with his as if this is the most normal thing ever, as if her hand isn’t so warm and soft, as if that touch doesn’t make him burn with longing for more —and pulls him to the game tents.

‘This is what I told you about,’ she says brightly, referring to her latest letter and her vivid descriptions of Muggle carnivals. ‘You are gonna love this.’

James isn’t sure he is capable of loving anything else that night, but he doesn’t say anything.

He tries to focus on the games; the first ones are lucky games, and James’ luck doesn’t favour him. Lily gets a cartoonish fawn plushie, which she gives him.

‘It reminds me of you,’ she says, amused with her own thoughts, and James smiles at the coincidence.

‘Well, I should get you something then.’

Her eyes widen, a curious expression there that James doesn’t understand. They are in the middle of a row with game tents, children running around them, a mess of sounds and lights, and somehow he feels they are the only ones in the world when Lily takes a step closer to him, her hand placing an invisible strand of her hair behind her ear.

‘And what will you get me, Potter?’

It’s been a while since Lily has called him by his surname, but it sounds nice; not exactly friendly, but… provocative.

And though the moment is completely different from when they were at the giant wheel, James feels again that urge to move forward, to cup her face, lower his head and…

Not a date.

He turns his head hurriedly, cricking his neck in the process, and his eyes fall on a giant plush lion.

‘A lion!’, he cries, making her jump. ‘I will get you a lion, come on.’

Lily raises her eyebrows, but he doesn’t wait for her answer. James doubts he can control his impulse if they stay this close longer, so he walks towards the game tent; as far as he can tell, it’s easy: all he needs to do is throw an orange ball through a hoop. The person in front of him in the line is bad at it for some reason, but James is a chaser and a good one. He can do this.

‘Oh-oh,’ Lily mumbles at his side. ‘You’re gonna lose money here, James.’

‘How come?’

‘This game is nearly impossible to win.’

James frowns. He looks around, but no other tent has the same plush lion and he already promised he would give one to Lily.

‘I got this,’ he says confidently. When Lily still looks nervous, he winks at her, which, for some reason, makes her look away, a flush coming to her cheeks even as she shakes her head.

James doesn’t get this. He swears he throws the ball perfectly, but the first one bounces in the hoop, the second one doesn’t even hit the hoop and the third one is thrown too much to the left.

He pays another coin.

‘One more time.’

Lily joins him for a few rounds; her throws aren’t much better than his, but they aren’t worse either, which somehow baffles James. He is a good chaser, he holds the current record of goals in a game. He should get this stupid Muggle game.

‘I think we are getting good at this,’ Lily tells him ironically by their eighth or ninth attempt when the latest ball twirls around the hoop before missing it.

‘I am a disaster ,’ James admits, when his last coin is spent fruitlessly. The ball refuses to pass through the hoop.

‘You are not,’ Lily assures him. She seems more amused by his reaction than upset he was a failure.

‘I couldn’t make a single goal. That’s it. I’m resigning as Quidditch Captain.’

‘Because of one rigged Muggle game?’ Lily shakes her head. ‘I told you, it’s not made for anyone to win. The hoop is not round, the ball bounces too easily.’

‘Why is this even allowed?’

‘For the fun of it,’ she tells him, and then she bits her lip in a way James has seen before; she is nervous, gathering courage for something. When their gazes meet, her expression relaxes; her eyes are shining under the lights of the carnival. ‘I had fun,’ she says softly.

‘Watching me make a fool of myself?’

‘Not this. Even if we didn’t win… you have this expression when you are concentrated in a game, all focused like when you are flying as if nothing could distract you and… it’s nice to watch.’

‘You enjoy watching me?’ he repeats, fazed, because now he has said it out loud, it feels like there is some meaning behind it that he can’t quite grasp, something too unfathomable until this moment.

‘Well, I wouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t,’ she says, her voice sounding half as if this is obvious, half as if she is embarrassed by it. ‘Come on, you can spend my last coin trying to hit the darts there.’

She walks to the next tent without looking at him, her face still flushed, and James takes a while to follow her because his mind is still frozen.

Asked him out? Surely she doesn’t mean like that . Lily didn’t ask him out , she just mentioned a Carnival and told him it would be fun to go there and James had agreed… And Lily knows his friends should come and one does not bring friends to a date.

But Lily’s friends are not there yet.

‘Too bad Mary couldn’t come,’ he says slowly as he tries to aim the dart in his hand. It’s easy to pretend all his concentration is on that hit instead of waiting for her answer.

‘Oh, I didn’t call her,’ Lily says, her voice nonchalant, and James misses the dart completely. This time, he doesn’t complain.

James doubts he could form a sentence. His brain doesn’t seem to be working at all; nothing seems to be making sense, because if he could think thoroughly, then… then he would need to accept that Lily asked him out and then they are on a… No, that would be impossible, they are just friends who happen to have spent an afternoon all by themselves…

The lights of the park start to go out and they walk towards the exit; at least, when they reach the place they met—carefully out of Muggle’s prying eyes—Lily turns to watch him. She looks somewhat nervous as if she is expecting something .

‘I had fun today,’ she says at least when James stays silent. There is an underlying question in her voice that James knows how to answer.

‘I… me too.’

Lily looks relieved. ‘Good.’

‘Sorry for not getting you a gift—you can keep this fawn until—’

‘No, keep Bambi.’ She hesitates a little, her head lowering enough not to look him directly in the eyes. ‘You can get me a lion on the next date.’

‘I will—what?’

‘A lion. Or anything, really, I don’t know where I would—’

‘No, you said… a date.’

‘Yeah, well.’ She rolls her eyes as if it is nothing, though her cheeks are coloured.

‘This isn’t a date.’

‘Oh.’ Now Lily looks even more embarrassed, taking a step back. ‘I had thought… okay. Sorry.’

She looks away now, seemingly wishing to just disappear, but James knows whatever she is feeling is nothing like his current panic.

‘This couldn’t be a date. I would know if it were one.’ She turns back to him, a disbelieving expression on her face. James flushes. ‘I think.’

‘That’s okay, James, really. I just… don’t think of today as a date if you—’

‘Tomorrow,’ he interrupts her hurriedly. ‘Let’s come back here tomorrow. No, wait. Evans.’ He takes a deep breath, his heart beating too fast on his chest. He needs to do this right. ‘Would you like to go out with me tomorrow?’

He knows her answer even before she says anything just by the light on her eyes.

‘I’d love to, James.’

‘Then it’s a date.’

Lily beams, a bold expression coming to her face; it was the same she had before facing all the rides of the park, and she takes a step closer to him, rising on her tiptoes and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

It feels better than that whooping sensation he got on the roller coaster.

‘See you tomorrow,’ she whispers, and then she disappears on the spot.

James raises his hand to touch where she kissed. Tomorrow will be their second date. He can’t wait for it.

____________________________

“Dear Sirius,

Your best friend is under the impression I invited you over too. I didn’t; I can show you a Muggle Carnival some other time.

Please make up a good excuse to not crash our date tomorrow.

Hope you are enjoying this summer.

Lots of love,

Lily.”