#peter . freaking out : how are u i am good do u have any food i

[qwilll]

❛     so uh   ...   I got news .      turns out i’m only half - Terran .     i’m also a celestial ,  thanks to my dad ,  who  along   with being a grade - a douchebag ,  is also some immortal entity that eats planets for a  livin’ .      what’s new with you   ?    ❜

@subtractanger​    /    s.

[somethingsupwithdrac]

My good friend Jonathan Harker has written again! Surely it must be good news, perhaps an update about how his strange client is just a bit socially awkward and that mirror thing was just a hilarious misunderstanding! Oh. Oh no. Perhaps not so much.

"I had spent the day wearily over books, and, simply to keep my mind occupied, went over some of the matters I had been examined in at Lincoln's Inn" Poor dear Jon still desperately trying to not freak the fuck out at this whole being a prisoner of his terrifying maybe-otherworldy client thing like the human embodiment of the “This is fine” meme.

Dracula being like "so can I have more than one lawyer, for totally normal and non-questionable reasons? Asking for a friend." is definitely not ominous as fuck, wdym? Just a very normal human man doing very normal human man things and keeping different bits of business separate for very mundane and not at all nefarious purposes.

"Your friend and mine, Mr. Peter Hawkins" LOL. Can we steal this for addressing our collective chum Jonathan Harker? Please? It’s perfect. “Your friend and mine, MISTER Jonathan Harker!” 

" my motive was that no local interest might be served save my wish only; and as one of London residence might, perhaps, have some purpose of himself or friend to serve, I went thus afield to seek my agent, whose labours should be only to my interest." Uh-huh. Definitely only that, no other reason. Obviously only looking for a non-resident because of potential conflicts of interest. No ulterior motives detected. 

“Have you written since your first letter to our friend Mr. Peter Hawkins, or to any other?” It was with some bitterness in my heart that I answered that I had not, that as yet I had not seen any opportunity of sending letters to anybody.

“Then write now, my young friend,” he said, laying a heavy hand on my shoulder: “write to our friend and to any other; and say, if it will please you, that you shall stay with me until a month from now.”'

This. This is totally normal and fine, right? Totally...the Count just really wants to hang out with his new English pal. All alone. In the empty castle. For a month. Nothing could possibly go wrong here, of course.

jk, lol, now we’re getting into the obviously nefarious Gothic horror novel shit. He wants to make sure you haven’t told anyone anything about him or the place or all of the terrified Romanian peasants who tried in vain to warn you, Jonathan. Jon. Jonathan. My friend. You need to GTFO this place because THIS IS A SETUP TO GET YOU DISAPPEARED WITHOUT ANYONE QUESTIONING IT. STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER

(My good friend Jonathan is fucked and he is aware of the fact, just not quite how thoroughly just yet.)

"What could I do but bow acceptance? It was Mr. Hawkins’s interest, not mine, and I had to think of him, not myself; and besides, while Count Dracula was speaking, there was that in his eyes and in his bearing which made me remember that I was a prisoner, and that if I wished it I could have no choice."

Jonathan. My good friend. My pal. My dear sir. My blorbo, even:

FUCK MR. HAWKINS'S INTERESTS. LET HIM COME TO THE CREEPY EMPTY ROMANIAN CASTLE AND GET TRAPPED WITH THE CREEPY ROMANIAN COUNT. YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT. THINK OF MINA. THINK OF ALL THE PAPRIKA YOU HAVEN’T EATEN YET. THE RECIPES YOU HAVEN’T COLLECTED. THE FOOD YOU HAVEN’T BLOGGED. Jonathan, baby, u need to get the fuck OUT by any means necessary. The doors might be locked but THERE ARE WINDOWS. 

"“I pray you, my good young friend, that you will not discourse of things other than business in your letters. It will doubtless please your friends to know that you are well, and that you look forward to getting home to them. Is it not so?”

fhgjfghjfgh I can just hear the tone of this and it creeps me right the fuck out (as it should because FUUUCK). We're at the 'hostage being made to write letters saying everything is fine, I am definitely not being held prisoner by a terrifying old Anglophile with unclear but obviously ill intentions and an irrational hatred of mirrors, how's the weather today?' portion of the day. It’s fine. This is fine. (This is not fine.)

'Don't leave these rooms or you're fucked, my friend' This whole situation just keeps getting better lmao

"I have placed the crucifix over the head of my bed—I imagine that my rest is thus freer from dreams; and there it shall remain." OH NOW YOU TAKE THE CRUCIFIX SERIOUSLY JON, GOOD JOB. Better late than eaten, I guess.

"I saw the whole man slowly emerge from the window and begin to crawl down the castle wall over that dreadful abyss, face down with his cloak spreading out around him like great wings. At first I could not believe my eyes. I thought it was some trick of the moonlight, some weird effect of shadow; but I kept looking, and it could be no delusion. I saw the fingers and toes grasp the corners of the stones, worn clear of the mortar by the stress of years, and by thus using every projection and inequality move downwards with considerable speed, just as a lizard moves along a wall.."

This whole thing should be terrifying but I can't stop laughing at the idea of DRACULA IN HIS DRAMATIC BLACK CLOAK SKITTERING DOWN THE WALL LIKE A LIZARD. Yes, actually, with any amount of serious thought the image of a human just crawling out a window and climbing headfirst down a wall is deeply unsettling, but LIZARD. Jonathan, my friend, why?

"What manner of man is this, or what manner of creature is it in the semblance of man? I feel the dread of this horrible place overpowering me; I am in fear—in awful fear—and there is no escape for me; I am encompassed about with terrors that I dare not think of...." Jonathan. My good friend Jonathan. Jon. Jonny-boy. Babe. You need to think about the terrors or you’re going to die. There is definitely escape. Creepy count is off doing creepy count shit. Grab a couple of bedsheets and haul your ass out the nearest window, I am begging you.

Someone get this man some assistance posthaste.

[borom1r]

strahm asks... I am thinking abt him so much lately (also I need u to know yr post abt yr poster. 'my good bitch' had me laughing thank u for reintroducing me to that phrase hfjdndjskw) anyway!!! um. so I'm not sure how this works (I suppose it depends on his level of involvement in the polycule), but: if he Is a part of it, what are his interactions w diana like, if she has any?? cause like I've got ideas I wanna write soon nd I'm just thinkin abt them,, (alternative: anything abt him being comfortable w gaining weight and thus healing post-hoffman bc that fic you wrote, as well as p much all of them, lives rent-free in my head!!)

KFJSHDHSHFUSHFHDH OK OKOKOK i flip-flop back n forth on what version of th polycule I like. bc there is one version where Strahm has joined th “Hoffman’s Bitter Exes” side polycule (w/ Gibson n Rigg. can u Imagine the snark between Gibson n Strahm? hello!!) n therefore is involved w Adam for sure n probably Eric too? by nature of th whole Eric/Rigg/Gibson deal.

OR. Strahm is dating Hoffman and Perez dishes to Rigg n Gibson bc Dear God, Her Bestie’s Boyfriend Is A Freak. (that art of Hoffman and Amanda sitting together where Hoffman is like “I just discovered people sleep laying down.” like That. that’s the vibe). in which case his involvement w Diana is tangential at best.

BUT!! if he IS part of the bitter exes squad then I do quite like the idea that he is. good w kids? I think it’s completely unintentional but Diana immediately takes a liking to him and he just. at first I don’t think he knows what to do??? he’s still getting used to other people liking him, so the fact that a CHILD likes him is like. Incomprehensible.

I think it genuinely takes the others pointing things out to him before he starts to like. Get It. I can just see Rigg standing w Strahm in the kitchen one morning while he fixes breakfast (instant oatmeal bc he’s that kind of guy. do w that what u will. he and Lawrence are Old Men(tm)) and by the time Diana gets up he’s got a bowl of chocolate malt o meal waiting for her, sprinkled with sugar bc that’s the best + he knows she likes it that way (she’d had a sleepover w Daniel @ their place) and Rigg is just kinda smiling @ him n Peter’s like. “….What.” and Rigg can’t help it, he laughs like “you have no idea why she likes you so much but you just made her favorite breakfast here before she even woke up as a surprise. obviously you’re her favorite uncle, Pete.”

Perez and Brit take Diana (n sometimes Daniel if they’re feeling especially feminine n wanna come!) out for a Girl’s Day n swing by the station to surprise Strahm w coffee, but instead of grabbing his cup he just scoops Diana up under his arm and starts carrying her off like “this is great Linds, thanks, now I really have to get back to my paperwork” while Diana giggles like crazy, and Perez just. rolls her eyes so affectionately bc of course her idiot of a brother is a saint w/ this little girl but can’t see it. she says smthn to him later and he grumbles abt it but has no defense. he just cares about Di and Daniel both so much..

(anyways can u tell I’m soft for th idea of Strahm just. not processing that he is a Good Person? tht man needs some affection n for someone other than Perez to point out that Actually, He’s Great — he’s used to hearing it from her but you know the first time Rigg or Gibson say they love him he’s just. oooghfhf Don’t Look At Him Don’t Touch Him He’s Having A Moment)

(I don’t think Hoffman ever explicitly says he loves Strahm I think their relationship is more like Strahm left food out on his porch enough times that he befriended a wild animal and now they have a tentative truce. Hoffman reveals exceedingly bizarre details of his life and Strahm just kind of hums in agreement because what the fuck else can he say? Of course the one person who can stand to be around him is an absolute freak. Next thing you know Hoffman could tell him the nails Amanda used for the bomb in the classroom trap were from his private collection and all Strahm could do is go “of course they were. of course you collect nails. what the fuck.” and then hand Hoffman his morning coffee. “I got them all from crime scenes” ���literally what the hell, Mark.”)

+ as for the 2nd part of this!! ooooffhkjsf i reread tht fic recently cuz boy. Gaining Weight As Healing is sooooo 💞💗

and i think it boils down to the fact that he’s finally grounded? he was forced to start living his own life in the worst way (losing Perez, almost dying twice) but in the process he managed to form a meaningful connection (Adam) and it’s not something he wants to lose. so there’s some recognition of the fact he has to take care of himself now.

he was the kind of person to skip breakfast because it was inconvenient, to skip lunch unless Perez was eating with him, to survive off takeout + leftovers because it’s easy. I’ve joked that he’s the kind of person to use something until it’s absolutely destroyed despite the fact it’d make his life easier to replace it, and he.. really was? his life wasn’t worth investing in. his few treasured belongings were gifts from Perez. he coasted by on bare necessities and let the world revolve around him, “perfectly happy” on the sidelines (he’s not, but he doesn’t think he deserves more. + I do legitimately think he was Worse before meeting Lindsey. unironically I see them as siblings. he views her as his sister + he clearly becomes lost without her, so like. He’s A Mess.)

n like i touched on in that fic, i think when he does finally get to breathe it’s likely the first time he’s felt safe + settled enough to eat regular meals. 3 a day, w/ variety and rich nutritional substance and, well. he gains weight. there’s no beating around the bush, his belt’s a couple notches looser and there’s a soft belly that he never had before. and I think it does come w/ some disdain at first. mostly bc Strahm is just fundamentally insecure (old friends with the “I’m going to fuck something up and [person] will leave me, it’s inevitable” train of thought)

+ while it certainly helps that Adam. openly likes it lmao — i think once it’s kind of pointed out that like, “hey this is a sign that you lived and you’re safe now” + that idea really takes root, that’s when Strahm starts to appreciate it too. he’s not a cornered animal, no longer constantly in fear for his + Adam’s safety, not staring down the twisted deathtraps of an obsessed serial killer. he’s a Real Person with a home and loved one(s) and for the first time in years he’s comfortable. n his body reflects that.

nd genuinely like theres smthn so. oooghhf abt that?? god thats good. he’s home, not just in that he’s got a roof over his head and a bed to crash in when hes not working himself to th bone but in that he looks forward to coming back every night, to curling up w/ Adam under the quilt he picked out from the nearby antique mall, to sharing lazy breakfasts and quiet dinners with the man who loves him. who sees him now at his best + who fell in love w/ him, by some miracle, at his absolute worst. (who doesn’t just claim to know him but really has propped up some warped visage that he can twist into something useful- and dead.)

so they cook dinner together, and Strahm sautees vegetables in butter and Adam makes mashed potatoes and there’s steaks in their cast-iron pan (and god, when would he ever have invested in fucking cast iron before?), and their kitchen is warm and smells like everything home should, and Strahm laughs when Adam dips his fingers into the mashed potatoes to try them + nearly burns himself, Adam grinning too bc hey, they’re hot but they’re good!

after dinner they curl up on the couch and Adam falls asleep while Strahm watches Family Feud reruns, his head on Peter’s stomach + Peter’s fingers in his hair, n everything is right with the world. the world keeps turning + for once Strahm’s happy to be caught up in it

[sirrriusblack]

it’s so funny to me that we’re mutuals even tho i’ve completely switched fandoms, but it makes me really happy 🥺 can i have some of your favorite headcanons for the marauders? 👉🏻👈🏻

honestly i love seeing my mutuals freak about the things they love even if i have no clue what’s happening lol, tis adorable :)) and yesss yes yes, you most certainly can

they have a handshake. it’s complicated as all heck because they’re dorks and they need to make sure no one else can get it but they stayed up all night working on it in first year and they know it off by heart

james is the mum friend and he’s constantly making sure they all eat enough and get enough sleep (he has to go to great lengths to get moony to sleep. lengths that include lots of threatening in regard to moony’s chocolate)

they have a homework system: they go to james for transfiguration and arithmancy, remus for dada, muggle studies and potions, pete for history of magic and herbology and sirius for care of magical creatures, charms, astrology and ancient runes

they all hate divination (although sirius likes to quietly believe in it)

they aren’t the popular group everyone thinks they are, they’re total dorks and hardly anyone outside gryffindor knows them beyond ‘those kids mcgonagall yells at all the time’

they made friendship bracelets in second year and none of them take them off ever

they make bets on everything and everytime something remotely interesting happens you’ll be able to catch the boys slipping coins, chocolate or random things in their pockets to each other (and every now and again someone will show up to class with green hair or the like)

sirius speaks french and remus speaks welsh which means the four of them will curse in the middle of class in one of either languages and get away with it

they go and chat to moaning myrtle sometimes, just to check up on her

they have cuddle piles. a lot.

if one of them can’t sleep for whatever reason, someone will sneak down the kitchens and come back with a shit ton of food and they’ll set up a fort on the floor and eat and talk until they all fall asleep

sirius, remus and pete all completely deck themselves in gryffindor colours when james has a quidditch match

remus somehow gets roped into giving the three of them piggy backs all the time

when they get bored sometimes they’ll just wander down to hagrid’s hut for tea and wait for him if he’s not there

they all equally s u c k at talking to their crushes

none of them except for remus can handle alcohol at all

peter can get them out of any kind of trouble they’re in, or at least get them a lesser punishment

they most certainly hold traits of their animagus form; james will eat grass sometimes, peter prefers just sitting in the dark and in enclosed spaces and sirius is very,, energetic to say the least

only one teacher ever finds the marauders map before filch obviously and that’s professor minerva mcgonagall. she knows better than to trust that it‘s just joke parchment and so she confiscates it for further investigation. she gets in and sees the map. she sees the skill that went into creating that map and decides to give it back, telling them that she couldn’t find anything wrong with it

when they graduate from hogwarts they all get a matching tattoo: messrs moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs all stacked like a list on their wrists

at first they all move in together in this crappy three bedroom flat yes wolfstar shares a bedroom

in that time they discover james is extremely good at baking, sirius is extremely good at cooking, no one ever taught peter how to do the dishes and remus most definitely took advantage of the house elves at hogwarts and does not clean at all

james moves out, ready to take the next step to move in with lily, and pete decides he wants to live on his own, which leaves sirius and remus all by their lonesome ;)

they still have a weekly movie/game/designated hanging out night, despite always being at each other’s houses throughout the week anyway

they all helped sirius work on his motorbike and by ‘helped’ i mean they all stood around and talked shit while he was doing it

at james and lily’s wedding, remus, pete and sirius were the flower girls. they also managed to convince james to wear a purple suit. marlene was there for damage control though and james made it out looking quite handsome if he did say so himself

when harry was born, he got spoilt rotten by them all

sirius got harry a tiny leather jacket, remus got him a photo album full of photos from the marauders’ years at hogwarts and peter got him the coolest pair of baby shoes one ever did see

i think i am going to have to stop there otherwise i’m afraid this will get sad

but anywho i love my boys so much, they are precious and they most definitely lived forever and ever and did not die early deaths :)

[spideysenseimaginez]

Burrito

A/N: hi everyone, and welcome to my first story on this blog!! I hope you enjoy :) I wrote this all in one sitting LOL. feel free to send a request! <3 

Ship(s): Spider-Man x Fem! Reader

Summary: A burrito falls from the sky, and because of this strange occurrence you meet a dorky man in a spider costume. 

Genre: Fluff, minor angst

Warnings: language 

Word Count: ...a lot lol

This was, officially, one of the worst days ever. Sure, you’ve had worse days in the past, but even those awful, no-good days can’t hold a candle to this. Yeah, getting your expensive new dress chewed up by your best friend’s puppy was pretty bad. And yes, you had to admit that failing your driver’s test - not just once, but 6 times! - had been one of the crappiest weeks of your life. 

But nothing in the past even remotely compares to you getting separated and lost from your tour group, getting your cell phone and wallet stolen, and accidentally dropping your New York style pizza slice on the ground just to have it taken by hungry rats. Today was turning out to be a shitty day indeed. 

So here you were, meandering the streets of Queens at 2 am, trying to find a helpful stranger to guide you to the nearest police station. So far, everybody who had seen you at this hour had just ignored you completely or told you off for walking around this late at night. You were honestly beginning to hope that somebody would call the police on you so you could just go home and end this train wreck of a vacation. Alas, it seemed the people of New York weren’t even that kind. Heck, even after 30 minutes of arriving here you had wondered if there were any likeable people in this state! 

As you continued walking, you were pulled out of your thoughts by a thick, foil-covered burrito being dropped from who-knows-where at your feet. Startled, you let out a brief shriek of alarm and backed up so fast you fell on your butt, a tired groan escaping your lips as you felt a cold wetness travel through your pants and underwear. Of course you had fallen ass-first into a puddle. And because of a fucking burrito, nonetheless! Could this day get any more pathetic?!

As if the universe could somehow read your mind, a red, blue and black-clad figure dropped in front of you seemingly out of nowhere with ease. You shrieked again, louder this time, and quickly pulled off your shoe. You forcefully chucked it at the.. man? The mutant? The mutant-man-spider-thing? You didn’t know what to call it, but you did know that this thing looked weird. Where the heck was its mouth?And what was up with its eyes?!

All of those questions quickly halted in your mind as the figure caught your shoe and held up its free hand in a ‘surrendering’ motion. 

“Ah, woah there miss! I’m not gonna hurt you!” The man said, walking up to you slowly as if you were a wounded animal. He then crouched down to your level and offered you his material-covered hand. “Need a hand?” He offered kindly, his large spider-like eyes gazing down at you expectantly. Your eyes darted from his hand to his face for a bit before you gave up and grabbed it. It surprised you at how easily he had helped you up off the ground. 

“I-I’m sorry I startled you. I didn’t mean to, honest! I was on patrol and dropped my food by accident,” he admitted sheepishly, rubbing his hand behind his neck as he swayed from foot to foot in embarrassment. 

You barely acknowledged his shyness, your head still spinning. What was even happening? What was up with this guy and his cute boyish voice, and why was he so nice? And most importantly, why did he seem so familiar? You could have sworn you’d seen his face somewhere. 

You held your hand out as he quickly scrambled to give you your shoe back. Slipping it on your foot, you took the time to ask some questions. “So… why did you help me? And if you only helped me so you could rob me, I’m sorry. My wallet was already stolen earlier today,” you commented bitterly. You noticed that Burrito Guy had a confused and worried look on his face. Well, you couldn’t see his actual face, but his eyes were unusually expressive. 

“What? No no no, I’m not here to rob you! I’m Spider-Man!” He explained, waving his hands back and forth. It finally clicked in your brain. Well, duh, of course you recognized him! His face was on practically every ad in New York! You facepalmed with another groan, rubbing your temples in exasperation. 

“Right. Oh my God, I’m so sorry. If you couldn’t tell already, I’m not from around here,” you explained, cracking a bashful smile. God, this was so embarrassing. You wanted to die on the spot. “I got separated from my tour group, and then my wallet and phone got stolen, and then I dropped my pizza on the ground, and gosh, everyone in this city is so freaking rude!” You ranted. Spider-Man stared at you as you talked, nodding his head a bit. 

“I’m sorry, that really sucks. And, yeah, this city can be hard to navigate if you’re not from around here. I thought you looked new,” he commented as he pulled up the bottom half of his mask, resting it over the bridge of his nose. He carefully opened the foil of the burrito and was about to take a bite before looking you over. You stood uncomfortably still as his eyes trailed down your body. Wow, this is awkward, you thought, shuffling your feet a bit. You let out a slight cough and almost laughed at how embarrassed he seemed. His cheeks instantly became the reddest you’ve ever seen as he snapped out of his trance. 

“Oh, uh s-sorry…” he mumbled, running a hand behind his neck again. It was a habit you were finding cute. “I just noticed how… uh.. ‘not good’ you look? No, wait, that came out wrong…” he mumbled, slapping a hand to his forehead. You thought you heard him mumble something like “Aunt May taught you better” but you couldn’t be sure. You raised your eyebrows but waited for him to collect his thoughts. “W-what I meant to say,” he continued sheepishly. “Is that you look hungry? So… yeah. Here. I don’t really need this anyway, it’s not good to eat and then swing, ya know,” he shrugged, trying to play it off but failing miserably. You blinked at the burrito in his outstretched hand for a bit before letting out a genuine smile for the first time that day. 

“Thanks, Spider-Man. I owe you one,” you grinned, taking a greedy bite out of the food. The man smiled back in response and pulled his mask back down, concealing the bottom of his face once more. “No problem!” He grinned, happy to watch you eat. Sure, you looked like a ravenous animal who hadn’t had food in a month, but Peter found it endearing. Cute, even. His smile became a little wider as you finished the burrito in record time, even licking your fingers clean. Peter sputtered at the action and turned beet red under his mask, turning away from you to hide his embarrassment. 

You paid him no mind as you continued licking your fingers greedily. Man, that burrito was good! I’ll have to ask Spider-Man where he got it from later. You smiled and wiped the spit from your fingers off on your pants. Whatever. “Thanks again, Spidey. And, if you don’t mind, could you point me towards the nearest police station?” You asked hopefully. 

Spider-Man turned towards you and nodded, smiling a bit to himself at the nickname. “Sure! Go past that stop sign and make a right. Then go past the subway station and the police station should be on your left. Do you want me to walk you there?” He offered, a bit of hopefulness in his voice that you had somehow missed.

You smiled and shook your head. You didn’t want to take up anymore of Spider-Man’s time. “No, that’s okay. Thank you, though. And seriously, I can’t thank you enough for that burrito. You’re a lifesaver,” you smiled, standing up on your tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his material covered cheek. You smiled again against his cheek, feeling a little shy as the skin underneath his suit instantly heated under your lips. He made a strange choking noise as he pulled away from you, rubbing the back of his neck. “U-uh, yeah! Anytime!” He laughed awkwardly. “W-Well, I better get going. Civilians to save, and all that,” he chuckled. There was a bit of awkwardness to his body language, but you could tell he was smiling and blushing like a schoolgirl under his mask. 

 “Oh, of course,” you nodded seriously, but after a second you cracked and gave him a warm smile. “See you around, Spider Guy,” you grinned, giving him a pretend curtsey with the skirt you didn’t have. 

He smiled back under his mask and gave you an overdramatic bow. “See you around, beautiful,” he commented with a bit of a voice crack before shooting a web at a nearby building and swinging off. You stopped and stared at where he swung off to before rolling your eyes playfully. You followed Spider-Man’s directions and walked happily to the police station, unaware that the masked hero was making sure you got there safely, an adoring look in his eyes.

[siilvers-blog]

twinkie obession ;

pairing : peter maximoff x gn ! reader word count : 1 951 note : soulmate au where you can taste whatever your soulmate is eating at that moment . and my baby boy is too good for this world . i wanted to write something like more grandiose , but for now this dumb soulmate au will do ! feedback is appreciated <33 requests are super open btw so if u sent in any ,,, peter stuff ,,, we’d be grateful ( moreso me , but whatever haha !! ) - mod em ( under the cut for length ) 

For as long as you could remember, you’d feel the taste of twinkies in your mouth. When you were young, the taste would be occasional and welcome, but around your early teens it began to plague you every single day. Eventually, even looking at twinkies made you feel sick to your stomach and, god, you couldn’t understand how the hell your stupid soulmate could eat a whole batch of them every day. It was kind of admirable, the fact that they could eat the same exact thing so often and not throw up, but your burning hatred overshadowed whatever respect you had for them.

Hate would’ve been a strong word for the first month of non-stop twinkies, somehow you thought you’d manage. But one day it felt as if twinkies were all your soulmate was consuming. That, topped by a bad grade on one of your essays made you reduce your desk into ash in front of your whole class. And that was how you found out you were a mutant; the same exact day all your friends deemed you a freak (some friends) and the same exact day all you could taste were twinkies.

And it was safe to say you hated your soulmate. Which was fine. He’d hate you too if he knew you were a mutant.

You beat yourself up for years for being a mutant, refusing to interact with most people in fear you’d burn them as quickly as you burned your desk that day. Your parents would always try to console you, tell you that you were perfectly fine, that you’d become something great one day. But after your graduation, you came to find that people didn’t really want to hire mutants that much, especially those with an unpredictable and flaming personality. So, you accepted the reality that you’d just have to live with your parents forever, that your soulmate was off somewhere being all happy and eating twinkies, and that you’d never even meet them because you were, what society deemed, disgusting.

Not that eating twinkies every day was any better.

But life of a mutant wasn’t as black and white as you thought, as now you were standing right in front of the famous Charles Xavior school for the gifted with a suitcase in hand. Just a few days back you had burst into tears after receiving an invitation and now you could barely hold them back at the sight of it. Finally, you though, your life was going to turn for the better. You were about to step foot inside, but you suddenly felt someone run past you and into the mansion. Felt; it was an odd word to describe someone who was probably running, but you literally only saw a flash of silver skim past you insanely fast and you just assumed that it was a mutant with super speed. Oh, and the fact that this mystery mutant bumped into you and now you were falling backwards also factored into your deduction. Were you going to tumble down the fancy porch stairs on your first day here? Yeah. Were you still happy with the fact you were here, that there were already careless people bumping into you and not minding their mutations? Extremely and your sudden grin proudly showed that off.

Yet you didn’t have the chance to fall, another mutant teleported by your side and grabbed you by your forearms, looking at you with concern. He was…blue and he had three fingers on each hand, and a tail, and he just teleported in front of you, and, wow, you were so happy to be here.

“Hi!” You couldn’t help but beam at him, despite the fact that he was the only thing preventing you from crashing down. “I’m (Y/N)!”

You noticed the stranger opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it upon noticing something…someone behind you – someone else, who was now pushing you back up to your feet with a giggle.

“Sorry about Peter, er, the guy who almost knocked you down here!” You heard the person behind you say. “We were supposed to show you around, but Peter’s awfully impatient so he said that the last person here was gonna show you around and ran off.”

“I’m Jubilee!” She was now in front of you, grinning and waving. “We’re super glad you’re here, actually, I’m sure you’ll have a chance to get back at Peter for being such an idiot!” She then pointed at the blue mutant who was still holding your arms. “That’s Kurt!”

“Guten tag!” He grinned and let go of you to wave with both of his hands. “It is very nice to meet you!”

And you could’ve sworn you’ve never felt more at home than now. Kurt was gracious enough to teleport all your stuff into your room before he and Jubilee began the tour. It was very extensive, they insisted they weren’t going to leave you to your own devices until you knew exactly where everything was, even if it took the entire day to show you around. You even met some others along the way, like Scott and Jean, who you learned were soulmates. Jean complained about some food she didn’t like that Scott absolutely loved and you shared a laugh, even feeling comfortable enough to mention that all your soulmate seems to eat is twinkies and how much it annoys you. They shared a look as you said that, it almost seemed like a knowing look, before Jean told you how much that must suck and took her leave with Scott. Eventually, you circled back to your room, a little sad that the day was coming to an end, but excited because this was your life now. You had a place where everyone accepted you for what you were and-

Oh god, that god-awful taste of twinkies was in your mouth again. Just as you thought your soulmate wouldn’t eat any today.

“Jubilee, wait!” She turned to you once you had called for her, still smiling. “Everything in the kitchen is…free to take, right?”

She snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course it is! Everything is everyone’s, you’re free to take anything anytime!”

Exhaling, you raced past her, yelling out a “thanks” and “see you later!” as you ran. You thought you’d at least try to drown out the taste, even if it didn’t work most of the time, if anything, you might inconvenience your soulmate a little bit by eating something else. Like a fruit for a change!

As you finally reached the kitchen, you exhaled in relief upon finding it was empty. You were a bit worn out from the excitement of today and you didn’t want to seem weird in front of anyone, especially with how frantically you looked around the kitchen for something juicy and sweet. Ah, that apple sat in a basket in the middle of the counter made your mouth water! In fact, at this point, anything that wasn’t a twinkie made your mouth water.

“Ah, so good…” You muttered to yourself after taking a bite, feeling the taste of the twinkie disappear and be replaced with that of an apple.

“You a telepath, or are you just talking to yourself here?”

You nearly choked on your treat after hearing the unfamiliar voice so suddenly and nearly choked again after the owner of it appeared in front of you in a blur. Silver, he must’ve been the mutant who nearly knocked you over - Peter.

“Talking to myself, relishing in how good this apple is, mostly.” You shrugged, a small smile on your face. “What brings you here?”

He was no longer in front of you, instead opening the fridge door. Witnessing someone utilizing their mutation for such mundane things brought a smile to your face. It was quickly wiped though, seeing as how he had pulled out a twinkie from the fridge and waved it around.

“Hungry, soulmate’s not munching on something too tasty right now.” He said, unwrapping that godforsaken thing and tilting his head after you had turned away. “What’s wrong? Am I too attractive for the eyes of a newbie?”

“Nope, I just hate twinkies.” Biting the apple, you shook your head. “My soulmate eats them, like, every day and I can’t stand it. I’m convinced they’re insane.”

Peter fell silent and you were almost concerned that he ran off after you had declared you hated twinkies. Maybe he just held a deep love for them. Did you offend him, perhaps? You turned back and as soon as you did, he bit down on the twinkie, staring right in your eyes. And then you felt the all-too-familiar twinkie taste. And then you realized.

“Oh my god…” You breathed, slamming the half-eaten apple back on the counter. “It’s you!”

You didn’t quite understand why your heart started beating so fast at the sight of him eating that damned twinkie and grinning at you like an idiot. You didn’t understand why suddenly you felt so…anxious, why you were scared to move. This was it, you always visualized meeting your soulmate and then hitting them over and over again for making your life a living hell just by eating twinkies, but all you could do now was stare.

“Y-You’re a mutant!” You choked out, hands flying to cover your gaping mouth. In reality, you just tried to hide the smile growing on your face because you were supposed to hate this guy. “Like me!”

“Yeah, a freak, if you will.” He chuckled, licking his fingers after just finishing this twinkie. “That’s why I’m here, just like you.” He pointed at you, but really, he was trying his hardest not to run up to you and spin you around. Then you’d really think he was insane.

Could you blame him though? He also didn’t think his soulmate would be a mutant too, the chances were just too slim.

“I can’t believe this!” With quick steps, you walked up to him and proceeded to punch his chest lightly, light-heartedly, which was proved by how much you were giggling. “I hate you, you know! Do you have any idea how much you made me hate twinkies? I was literally so annoyed one day, I burned down my desk at school!”

Peter laughed; it was cute. “You don’t really sound like you hate me.” He grabbed your wrists, grinning down at you. “But it’s charming to see you pretend that you’re totally not head over heels for me right now.”

“I am not!” You shook your head, a grin of your own decorating your features. “I am extremely annoyed! Especially at the fact that my soulmate is some maniac who looks dumb and thinks that eating twinkies everyday is good for him!”

“Well,” he began slyly. “I’m sure we can discuss my new diet plan during a date.”

“Peter, you are insufferable.” You paused. “But I suppose we could talk about your twinkie addiction sometime.”

His smile fell for a moment. “Hey…what’s your name again?”

You snorted, light giggles eventually escalating into a laugh that made Peter smile softly. Still laughing, you placed your head on his chest, making him turn slightly red, unbeknownst to you. You had already forgotten that you could feel the taste of that twinkie he had eaten moments ago. Perhaps you were just too overjoyed to remember all the downsides of having this dummy as your soulmate. Sure, all he ate was twinkies, but he was a mutant too, which instantly meant he wouldn’t hate you for your mutation. And he looked dumb, which was charming, you thought.

Well, you supposed you’ll just have to deal with the twinkies, since your soulmate wasn’t that bad.

[itsmyfuneralokay]

Queens |Part Four|

Part one Part Two Part Three Part Four

Summery; part four ;) go read 1-3

Peter Parker X Reader

Peter couldn’t sleep that night. Something was crawling through his Spidey senses and leaving footmarks. He still had the thought in the back of his mind that possibly she wasn’t sneaking off for some meaningless hookup.  His eyes finally gave in and he passed out, until his alarm a few hours later.

At school, he couldn’t rid the uneasy feeling from his stomach. He tried to focus on his work, and he didn’t even notice Chemistry had rolled around like he usually counts down to.

“Why so fidgety, Parker” a familiar voice teased.

He was so distracted by this feeling and these thoughts that he didn’t even see her sit down.

“Ah just- you know. One of those days.”

“are you- like are you good? do you need water or something?”

“no no- I’m good- I’ll be good- I just-“

“ok slow your roll take a deep breath” she laughed at his rambles. They seemed really familiar, but how’s that if she’s only talked to him a handful of times?

She could sense something was bothering him, but she couldn’t sense what it was. she decided it’d be best to leave Peter be and not annoy him with Spiderman talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter and Ned took their usual route home, and Peter explained to Ned the feeling in his stomach.

“I dunno man, maybe you have food poisoning again.”

“no it's not like a sick feeling, well, like not a physical sick feeling, it's like my spidey senses have been ticked and now it won’t go away”

“When did it start?”

The realization hit hard.

“I gotta go man- Ill see you at school” and with that, he was off in a run until he was out of sight, and could swing his way to his apartment window. 

He quickly changed into the suit and hollered a ‘gotta go’ to Aunt May. Within minutes he landed in front of Y/N, just a block away from her apartment.

“in public now too?” she teased him.

“listen I get you don’t want to tell me where you were sneaking off to, but  I was thinking about it last night after I left your fire escape, and ever since then iv had this really bad feeling- like a physical- oh for fucks sake- my spidey senses have been peaked.”

She stopped dead in her tracks. 

“what do these senses usually detect?” she asked quietly.

“most of the time, they tell me when something bad is about to happen.” Peters words sat heavy with her. He seemed frustrated and tired.

“did you sleep last night?” 

“Y/N why is that important right now- can you please just- can you just reassure me your not in any danger?” 

She paused for a moment, before grabbing his hand and pulling them into an alleyway. 

“Listen I don’t wanna freak you out, but can we please go to my room to talk about this? How about tonight at 8, once my brother has left for work?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter could not be the friendly neighborhood spiderman that day. He tried to focus and do things he normally loved doing, but no crime in Queens seemed to distract him from the feeling in his body. 

He swung around for hours and hours helping the little guy, but in reality, he was just trying to pass time. 

Finally, it was time, and Peter carefully knocked on her window. 

A few minutes passed, and he decided to knock again. 

No answer. 

Did she really stand him up? Was she even here? 

Peter was just about to give up and leave when he felt the fire escape rattle. He looked over the ledge and his body relaxed.

“Sorry I'm late,” she said climbing off the ladder, and pushing a yellow folder into his arms. 

“hold this please”

They climbed into her tiny room and it was exactly how Peter had imagined it. She had posters on her wall of bands he had never heard of before, and it was slightly messy, but in a comfortable way. 

She went to her closet and pulled out another pile of papers before spreading them out on the carpet, and sitting down in front of them. She patted for Peter to sit next to her. 

He took a closer look and realized she had spread out poorly printed photographs. 

“I don’t understand-”

“that’s why I'm gonna explain it if you'll hand me the folder” she interrupted. 

“as my brother was getting into his car, I slipped this from his briefcase without him noticing. He’s always so secretive about the papers that go into this folder- well okay let me back up. So the night that I snuck out, I was sneaking off to Lawrences office building. But the address he wrote as his work address on some mail he got, was not an office building at all. “

Peter jumped as a noise coming from outside her room.

“is that your parents?” he said panicked. 

“No- I only live with Lawrence,” she said questioningly. 

“it's probably Mrs. Henderson across the hall.”

“Anyway, the reason I decided to go in the first place didn’t seem like that big of a deal at first. I came into the kitchen a few days prior and saw he was rewiring some crazy tech gadget thingy. And like yeah, he works in programing but he's never brought anything cool home before, and then I got a closer look and noticed it had a STARK INDUSTRIES symbol.  Now, these are where the files come into place. “

She pulled out some of the papers and searched them for a specific date, then she opened her laptop and googled the Washington post. 

 “a lot of tech from Stark Industries was stolen just after Iron Man’s death went public a few months ago”

And then she showed Peter a paper from her brother's folder listing every piece of technology they had stolen from Stark Industries. 

Peter mentally winced at the mention. 

“So I went to his ‘office’ which turned out to just be a warehouse, and snuck in through an open window... these are some of the photos I took, and these are photos of the stolen tech.” 

Peter analyzed all the photos, and his heart sank. It didn’t sink because he realized they were the culprits, it sunk because they stole his intelligence. Tony’s work, his genius ideas and groundbreaking technology, most of which were never even publicized, was sitting in someone else's possession. 

“so, do you feel better now?” she said quietly, noticing he hadn’t said a word the whole time. 

Peter snapped back into reality. 

“the uh- the feeling isn’t gone. I don’t know what it means.” 

Both of them just sat in silence for a moment. She scooped up all the photos and put all the documents back into the folder. She slipped it all into her backpack. 

“Wait- what are you gonna do with all that? I have to show someone this- someones gotta get that stuff back, it's probably extremely dangerous in the wrong hands I don't-”

“Spiderman. You're the someone. “ She said dumbfounded. 

“what- what am I suppose to do?” 

“Dear lord sometimes being the brains of the operation is a curse,” she said sarcastically, heading to her window.  

“You coming?”

A/N: I really can’t tell if this is just a bad version of homecoming or if I'm on to something so 

also I think there's gonna be one or two more chapters I'm not sureeeeee

ONE MORE THING can someone pls help a sis out I have no idea how to link my masterlist in my bio so that it's accessible for mobile users

comment if u wanna b added to the tag <3

Tags:  @paintingbellarke @morgannope @thekennysaur @coffee-and-stardust @jackiehollanderr @elazarofir @shaydeevee33 @antomargareta @lolbuckyismylife @m-a-d-d-y17

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

--

may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

--

EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

--

04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

-

04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

-

04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

no

either way i thought it was a good opening

-

W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

-

omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

-

dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

-

04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

-

also? god is a woman? yes

-

04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

-

i’m so happy adam and eve are black

-

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

-

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

-

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

-

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

-

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

-

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

-

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

-

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

-

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

:D

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

-

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great

-

04:43

this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL

“aaaaurthurrrrr”

nooo

poor lady

-

04:45

“little toesie woesies”

where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up

-

i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots

-

05:00

this is reminding me how utterly gross england is

-

“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”

YES

-

05:06

see in the book

i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise

-

05:11

digging the snake tattoo sideburns

-

05:14

and yeah the short hair looks good

-

05:15

fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”

-

05:17

crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”

the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3

-

05:20

aw man they cut out the best part

i mean i get why

the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale

and there were no secret service people with guns

but aw mannn

AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE

THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK

AND IT’S GONE

;C

-

OH WAIT

THERE’S THE DOVE

OH GOOD

-

aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself

i liked it better in the book

they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off

idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all

could be gayer

-

05:27

good dog

-

05:28

crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed

aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”

crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”

gayyyyyyyyyy <3

-

05:31

okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D

ENJOYING THIS SO FAR

not as gay as expected ........YET

needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”

--

EPISODE 2: The Book

07:42pm

pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”

the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot

-

07:49

fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”

-

07:50

iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying

maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on

but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn

-

07:56

i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk

edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect

-

08:09

the saddest newt

-

08:13

she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book

and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley

-

08:17

i feel so bad for crowley’s plants

poor babies

-

08:19

for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley

-

08:33

these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol

-

08:25

v happy with the casting for pepper

tiny downside is that we lose another redhead

-

08:29

i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time

idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds

-

08:35

crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”

he just sounds like the tenth doctor

-

08:36

YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE

-

08:48

"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”

“SHUT IT”

DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD

-

loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”

-

08:45

i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing

-

08:48

freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE

BIIIIIIII CYCLE

yeah i was waiting for that

-

crowley: “get in, angel”

HE MURMURED

DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo

-

09:00

end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3

-

the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”

OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later

edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years

--

EPISODE 3: Hard Times

09:05pm

brb gotta get some food

-

09:14

and now i wait for food

EPISODE THREE LET’S GO

is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?

-

09:16

i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive

-

09:21

ah yes

aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley

“oh... that’s your job”

i love this part of their dynamic

-

09:29

i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3

-

09:43

SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS

YEE

-

i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history

-

09:36

“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”

this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt

-

09:49

CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS

and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS

THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY

k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3

-

09:50

this angel just fell in love

right in that moment

i see cartoon hearts around him

-

09:54

just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c

-

09:56

awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

he got him holy waterrrrrrr

-

UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING

-

definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now

-

09:59

LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE

-

10:03

throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned

I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES

-

10:12

i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup

-

10:27

“we can go off together”

omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE

-

10:31

okay then

good eyelashes

edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving

-

10:32

episode three DONE

these eps don’t feel long enough

maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows

i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why

--

EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

10:48pm

aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3

fuck u gabriel and your body shaming

-

10:53

i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK

so............... i know he will be...... eventually

-

10:55

how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s

-

oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong

-

11:02

“maud i love you”

noo ho hoooo

-

11:09

a little douglas adams, definitely

BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK

AWW

-

11:10

the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn

though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect

-

11:12

“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”

i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising

edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date

-

11:20

that’s a v nice dress/top combo

gosh she’s so pretty

-

11:30

crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”

aw baby

-

crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”

THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO

why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c

-

11:37

oh no, this part

i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots

damn you gaiman

-

11:39

he’s so cute

and so gay

-

11:42

uriel: “don��t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”

he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend

i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley

-

11:46

i thought it was a strange throne before

a spider at the centre of a web

dark halo

yeah

-

11:51

oh now she’s a redhead???

-

also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book

-

okay never mind

hmm

-

12:05

aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

-

12:07

oh no

it’s happening

oh no

i hate this part but i love what happens because of it

-

12:29am

i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE

-

EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option

12:31

nuuuuuuuuuu

and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi

nuuuuuu

-

“somebody killed my best friend”

jfhsdfjsdj

/sobs

-

12:36

freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”

edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.

-

12:46

crowley: “i lost my best friend”

he says, while crying, while talking to that friend

-

THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED

THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

-

azi wanted to share crowley’s body

and then said they had to get a wiggle on

-

12:52

they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen

i figured they would, but still a shame

-

1:54

in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go

now she’s irish which is... better, probably

-

01:01

ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”

this guy’s having the time of his life

-

01:03

he wave

-

01:05

1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala

-

01:08

omg gotta translate and explain the road

-

01:13

OH NO the maggots are about to happen

they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing

-

OH NO

-

k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined

-

01:31

omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up

i wonder if that was intentional

dog: I DO NOT WANT UP

-

01:34

pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman

-

01:44am

10/10 flaming car

-

EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives

01:51am

here we go...

-

01:55

azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3

-

01:57

rip bentley

-

01:59

aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”

crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”

-

02:06

i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book

and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel

pepper = war

wensleydale = famine

brian = pollution

adam = death

the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese

-

02:14

pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”

/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

02:25

shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”

earlier anathema said “boyfriend”

may i point out that all the adults are paired up

shadwell & madame tracy

newt & anathema

......and....

aziraphale and crowley

-

0:28

crowley: “we are FUCKED”

these two need a holiday

-

azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”

he knows crowley loves him aww

perfect blackmail material

-

02:32

they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick

-

02:35

thought they were holding hands for a second there

edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart

-

02:39

happy ending for the postman, hooray~

-

crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”

awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-

02:42

CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI

-

02:45

anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”

newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”

i laughed

this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered

-

02:51

i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good

-

03:00

gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”

really enjoying these swears

-

03:03

i thought so

-

03:30am

paused for a bit to get ready for bed

i thought it was after 4am but nope

-

“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”

that genuinely makes me emotional

i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them

-

03:35

omg

-

OH MY GOD

WAIT

THEY

OH MY GOD

THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES

HOLY SHIT

edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE

-

crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”

THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE

-

“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”

perfect

STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME

-

that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed

-

credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN

WOW

OKAY

AKSFJDSF /snorts

-

the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out

i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD

i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too

i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out

but 

this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book

-

this nightingale song is my new favourite song

i never got the reference before

“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:

GAY

SO GAY

i love

-

the end of the credits “For Terry”

ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING

TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS

NEIL DID YOU PROUD

-

oh this was so beautiful

i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now

azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS

ugh i love them more than ever

anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 

the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.

like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion

gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.

i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.

my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3

this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well

OH

we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen

and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.

look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.

favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.

--

shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge

IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS

04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT

congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[starkerforlife6969]

Replying to anonymous messages! As usual, no prompts will be filled here! Just me replying to some love whilst not spamming anyone MWAH x 

1) Omg so I have an idea for the mafia!Tony au with bodyguards!Steve and Bucky etc and I was thinking what if Tony totally makes out that hes the Big Boss™ in front of everyone but Peter, Steve and Bucky know better coz in the bedroom Tony totally loves it when Steve and Bucky top him and for his birthday he got dicked down by Steve and Bucky while little Peter rode his dick to oblivion

that is a gorgeous idea you gem, but unfortunately i don’t write bottom Tony :(( I’m so sorry! My writing skills are just not versatile enough! While I’d love to read it, I couldn’t write it well enough :(( Please love me anyway! 

2) OMG THAT LOUNGE SINGER PETER FIC IS SOOOO GOOD ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED PLEASE TELL ME WE’LL SEE MORE OF IT.... ALSO SUPERSIZE ME IS AMAZING AND NO PRESSURE OBVIOUSLY BUT ARE U CONTINUING IT? LUV U

I AM GOING TO CONTINUE IT YOU UTTER UTTER GEM!!!! Aahhhhh!!! Supersize me will get continued...eventually. I wish I could say when but I’m so swamped at uni at the moment and any spare moment I have I spend usually writing for tumblr! :( I WILL get back to it though, that’s a promise I’m making you and myself! 

3) Can I ask who the piano player is? Love your blog btw

Hahahah, that’s a great question and I have zero answer for it. Maybe Bucky?? He strikes me as a really good piano player. Surly disposition, heart full of gold and music. 

4) Holy shit I would die for a sequel to the mob and singer post one day that was amaxing

THERE WILL BE ONE, GORGEOUS! 

5) P-Please sir, may we have some more?? Like CHRIST that one shot was hot 😩 mob boss Tony is so peng

Hahaha, there will be more, with actual smut this time ;) 

6) Wow, the way you write dark, possessive, mob/mafia boss Tony is soo unbelievably hot and amazing! You're definitely one, if not THE best fanfic writer out there! ❤ although I have to say that you're a little tease to end your latest fic before they had sex, I would just love to read that! 😍😁

hahaha I am a tease, and like I said to 5) there will be a sequel WITH actual smut hahahaha! Love you gorgeous! and oh my goodness I'm all red with your compliments, my head will explode. Flattery will get you everywhere! x

7) Hi I hope you're doing well, just wondering, would you ever consider writing a part 2 to your Alpha steve x Omega peter college AU? It was seriously so amazing xx

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING THAT AU! It’s one of my favourites and I definitely, definitely plan on getting back to it. Rn I'm obsessed with starker, but spider shield will come back to me soon and as soon as it does- Im there! 

8) @betty-bloom “How are Omegas raised in The Green? Also, who are the other omegas with their Alphas? And thank you for adding me in the tag! I appreciate it a lot! It’s wonderful!”

Oh my goodness, you are too sweet. Haha and what fabulous questions! I’ll definitely have to do either a back in time one, or where they go and visit some of peter’s friends because right now, I just have a vague lil idea. Like a sweet little home for these omegas, very posh and proper teaching them how to behave and how to bake/garden with lots of rec time. Very soft and sunshine based, I think. 

9) what are the "bookmarks" in ao3 for? ://

Good question! I’ll explain the best way I know. So, you can bookmark a story to save it- when I finish an amazing story I bookmark it and add a little note like “holy shit this is so good read it again” so on days when I wanna read, instead of searching for a new story, I can go through my bookmark list. You can also bookmark a story when you’re only part of the way through and add a note like “chapter 4″ so you can remember where you were and easily find the story again.    People can also search through other people’s bookmarks. For example, If i read an author’s story and it’s so good and they don’t have any more (sad face) I go onto their bookmarks because most of the time, people like stuff similar to what they read- so if this author has bookmarked stories, chances are I’ll like them too! Not always, mind you, but a lot of the time this is a great way for finding new stories!    You can also add your own tags, for example if you didn’t think the author tagged it the way you would have.   And in case I did a horrible job (I think i did hahaha) here’s the link to ao3 explaining. Hope this helps!!! 

10) love your mafia au! would you ever consider doing an installment where peter gets seriously hurt and the boys freak out?

WOULD I?!?!?! GIRL IT’S ALREADY IN THE WORKS YOU GEM. 

11) Hey bb!!! I was wondering if ur still planning on updating the super size me story and also what does the title mean?

*sobs* I will update it I promise!!! I just have no idea when! As for the title um that’s a great question, I guess I thought i was being hilarious but I’m really not. It’s what I say whenever i get a cheat day and order fast food or want an extra large cup of coffee, I always say “super size me plz”, but i thought it could work like- supers...superpowers...big dicks...size kink...am i weird? I think so. HOPE THIS HELPED I LOVE YOU. 

12) Please more mafia!!! Its so great and it honestly got me back into fanfiction lol. Your an Amazing writer like ahhhhh

Wooo! Had to sit down after this one, *hot flush* alert thank you so much you gorgeous beast! I will write more, don’t worry! I don’t think I can ever give that au up hahaha x

13) Can you do more fairy Peter? Because I honestly live for it❤

CAN ?!?!? YES YES I WILL! thank you so much for liking it, honestly it’s gearing up to me my favourite au and i wanna do loooaaddsss. I just need ideas!!!

14) fairy peter part 2 pretty please? I love your writing and you inspire me so much, thank you 💙

Hello blue heart, you are a gem and I love you and I promise more fairy peter is coming! xxx

15) Hi! Do you take prompts? Because I have lots of ideas and I love how you write ❤

YES I DO TAKE PROMPTS AND I WANT THEM ALL GIVE THEM TO ME! Sometimes it’ll take me literally forever to write them, other times they could come the next day, it’s just what takes my fancy, you know? BUT I’D BE SO HAPPY IF YOU GAVE ME SOME! 

16) @idksrerek Just wanted to let you know I adore your writing!! Hope you have a fantastic day :)

oh my goodness this is too sweet i cannot deal with it. thank you so much i HOPE YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY TOO 

17) your blog is literally perfect ❤️❤️❤️

fdbhfkbfeqjkqeq I DO NOT DESERVE YOU OH MY GOSH AHHHHH IM SCREAMING thank you so much this made my day. 

18) I check ur blog like every day and I screamed when part 5 of the mafia au came up LOL thank u

you are the sweetest thing in the whole entire world! i can’t wait to make like 100 parts for that au. 

19) Part 2 of Alpha Steve and Omega Peter college au? I need it

it’s coming i promise!!!!

20) Omg I’m kinda like DYING for a sequel to the Harley!Peter prison Drabble if you ever get around to it! 

THERE WILL BE I LOVE THIS AU AND IM SO GLAD YOU DO TOO! 

[a-walk-in-silence]

Summertime Melodies

Pairing: Peter Parker x college!fem!reader

Word Count: 1,478

Summary: Peter and the reader were friends their last year of high school but were split apart when you traveled to California for college. However, since it is summer, you’ve decided to head back home to Queens to surprise her friend in all of the things she’s learned.

Genre: Fluff, fluff, all the fluff.

Warnings: Barely edited so there’s probably a few mistakes, to dang much fluff, musical references ‘cuz I’m a major musical nerd so honestly? I’m sorry but also not so lol

Prompt: “I didn’t know you could sing like that”

A/N: This is for @madmadmilk and her 5k summer celebration writing event! Any criticism is appreciated but only constructive stuff, got it? Got it. Okay, moving on!

Song Links:

All That Matters

Sylvia’s Lullaby

Key:

Y/N - Your Name

L/N - Last Name

Y/N/N - Your Nickname

After leaving for college, you had to admit, you missed your friends like crazy. Peter and Ned and MJ, even Liz (although you two did have a small quarrel sophomore year over the notorious Peter Parker). However, you were exhilarated to finally get to come home for summer and leave your performing arts college.

Considering how you wanted to keep this trip a surprise, you only told your mother and May Parker. You wanted to make sure that Peter, seeing as how he became your best friend in your senior year of high school, would be completely unaware of the fact that you were coming home. So, to do this, you had to tell Aunt May so that she could make sure to keep him busy throughout the day.

And thus, you were now sitting on a crowded airplane at LAX, ready to take off and head to Queens, armed only with two suitcases and a carry-on bag. Most of your possessions would be staying in Los Angeles, but you made sure you had enough to get you through these next four weeks.

While up in the air, you messaged Peter over Facebook.

Y/N L/N: Peterrrrrrr :(

Peter Parker: Hey Y/N/N, what’s up?

Y/N L/N: Are you sure you can’t come visit me in LA? Your promised :(

Peter Parker: I’m sorry... May and I don’t have the money and I don’t want to ask Mr. Stark to send me all the way to Cali

Y/N L/N: Ughhhhh but you didn’t even show up for my performance! You missed seeing me as Sylvia in Finding Neverland!

Peter Parker: I’m sorry! I tried to make it Y/N/N! I swear!

Peter Parker: But in all fairness, you never sent me that video recording that you promised

Y/N L/N: The files too big! You’ll need to watch it in person, like on my laptop or sth

Y/N L/N: Well, I guess there’s always next performance... so much for a best friend :(

Peter Parker: I’m sorry...

Y/N L/N: Whatever, I gtg so I’ll message you later, ok Spider-Boy?

Peter Parker: Okay, see you later!

Peter Parker: Also stop calling me Spider-Boy! The spider stuff is supposed to be a secret!

You laughed at his last minute remark before you put your phone away and took out your iPod, choosing to listen to music to pass the time until you landed in New York.

Once you were off the plane, your quickly found your mom waiting for you by the luggage claim area. The two of you ran over and hugged each other tightly.

“I’ve missed you my darling angel!” your mother shouted, drawing attention to the two of you. “Look at my little muffin! You’ve grown so much since I’ve seen you!”

“Mom!” you shouted, cheeks burning bright red. You quickly pushed her away before going to collect your luggage. You glanced down at your phone to see that you missed several text messages from Peter’s aunt.

May: I’ve got Peter running errands!

May: When do you land?

May: Where are we meeting again?

May: Are you on the plane? Is that why you’re not answering?

May: Hmm... maybe I should text your mother...

May: Why am I still texting you?

May: So any way, Peter and I are heading out to a restaurant in the Bronx, I’ll text your mom the info!

You rolled your eyes, smiling at how excited May was to have you back home, so much so that she still continued to spam your phone despite the fact that you were clearly on a plane. Deciding it was best to answer her, you did so.

Y/N: Hey! I’m on my way there now! Just gotta grab my luggage and head out!

Before you could even turn the screen off, you got a response from May.

May: Hurry! Peter’s starting to get suspicious of why we’re just sitting at a restaurant, waiting to order

Y/N: OMW!

You turned to your mother, who happened to grab your suitcases for you. “Hey, May’s freaking out, we gotta head to that restaurant.”

“Sounds about right. Let’s get going.”

The two of you pulled up to the restaurant. The moment your mother parked, you practically jumped out of the car, barging straight into the restaurant. Your eyes landed on Aunt May who was motioning with her eyes for you to come over. Peter, meanwhile, had his back to you.

You silently walked over to the table, trying your hardest to not make a sound. However, you didn’t pause to think about the fact that Peter had his spidey-senses (as you affectionately referred to them as), which caused him to literally jump out of the booth and turn to look at you.

“Y/N?” His voice was filled with shock as he took you in. Suddenly, you were pulled into his arms in a very tight hug. “You’re here! You’re here! I can’t believe you’re actually- wait!” He pushed you away, suddenly glaring. “You were making me feel bad for not visiting knowing that you would see me! You’re mean!”

You giggled softly, reaching out to ruffle his curly brown curls. However, he leaned away, pouting at you. “Peter, I had to! I couldn’t let you know I was visiting!”

He huffed before sitting down. He motioned for you to join him. “Fine, but I won’t forgive you until I get to see that recording of you performing.”

“Deal.” You smiled brightly at him before joining him in the booth to order food.

“I didn’t know you could sing like that,” Peter said in amazement, watching your performance on his laptop. You giggled, causing him to look up from the screen. “No, I mean it. You sound amazing! Why weren’t you in any of the school plays at Midtown? You would have surely been the lead with those vocals!”

You simply shrugged, pausing the performance so the two of you could talk. “I was shy. It took getting accepted into this crazy school in LA to actually open up about singing in public. And then I was cast as the lead in Finding Neverland and I just... That’s why I wanted you to come visit me, you big ol’ nerd.”

Peter smiled up at you. “You should sing right now.”

His request gave you pause. You never really performed one-on-one unless it was an audition, and even then, auditions usually had a few other people involved. “I’m sorry?”

“Please?” he begged, his brown eyes getting big and his mouth forming a small little pout. “I want to hear you perform in person.”

“What would I even sing?” you asked, watching as his face contorted into his silly little thinking face.

A light bulb must have gone off in his head as he turned his attention back to the computer that had the professional recording of your musical on it. “The song you were just singing. What was it called?”

“Sylvia’s Lullaby? All That Matters? Which one? They do happen back to back, ya know.” Once again, he started thinking, hard. You laughed, causing him to lose concentration. He gave you a questioning stare, causing your cheeks to burn up. “Your face gets all cute when you’re thinking.”

It was now Peter’s turn to turn bright red, his eyes turning away from your face. “Y-You should... u-um... All That Matters. Yep, that sounds... um, pretty good.”

You subconsciously leaned closer to Peter, brushing a curly strand from his face. “Yeah... okay...” you mumbled, watching as he turned to look at you.

Before you knew it, he had a hand cupping your face, rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone. “Hey Y/N?” he asked softly, staring into your eyes.

“Hmm?” you hummed, your eyes never leaving his.

“C-Can I, um... ya know... I just think that maybe, um... maybe we could... kiss?”

You laughed as he stuttered over his words before nodding. “Yeah, I think that would be nice.”

A huge smile broke out over his features before he captured your lips with his own in a sweet and indulgent kiss. However, it was over much to soon for the both of you.

Before he could pull away entirely, you pecked him on the cheek before pulling back completely to start the video again. You cuddled up into his side, smiling up at him. “You know, I’m starting to think coming back for the summer was a smart idea.”

He laughed at you and kissed the top of your head. “You should sing for me.”

“I’ll sing for you every day if that’s what you want.”

He hummed in response before once again focusing his attention on your show that was playing on the laptop. You sighed happily to yourself, imagining all the summertime melodies you would perform for him.

Tags:

@starksparker @madmadmilk @thedaydreamingwriter

[gotov-otvechat-blog]

Murder (part 2)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word count: 1,834

Warnings:  angst, fluff at the end, a little bit of swearing

Summary: Peter killed a criminal and now is having trouble dealing with it himself, and does not want to trouble you with it.

(not my gif)

(part 1)  masterlist

A couple of weeks have passed since that night, when Peter stumbled into your bedroom window. You would check up on him every day, to make sure he was dealing all right. And everyday he would smile at you, tell you that he is grateful to have you in his life, and reassure you that he was okay. That didn’t stop you from noticing him get distracted in class, not paying attention to when Ned was rambling about all of their favorite things to cheer peter up; the circles under his eyes were darker than ever, he hasn’t been doing his homework. He was fading away like a footprint being washed away from the sad, not a sign of the person who left them. Michelle was even disturbed by Peter, after drawing him about 5 times.

The media wasn’t helping at all, headlines such as ‘The Friendly Neighborhood Hero Gone Dark’ or ‘Spider-Man has had enough of saving worthless criminals. NEW MISSION: To KILL.’ You tried to avoid this as much as it was possible, the more you saw of them, the more they hurt you.

One day Peter just didn’t show up to school. He was getting you worried sick, making you call him but only getting voicemail instead.

After school you headed over to Peters house, walking into May as she was going out to work.

“Hey May, is Peter alright?” you asked, careful not show just how much you were concerned.

“Hi Y/N, he’s fine, he’s just sick today but he is in his bedroom. Nice of you to stop by today. Sorry I can’t chat with you now, I’m kind of late for my shift, but if you want anything there is some left over take out in the fridge or you can just make something you know where everything is. Anyway try to see if you can get him out of bed, ill see you later!” May grabbed her keys and smiled at you as she opened the door again.

“Bye May!” you chuckled at her ability to ramble on just like Peter does. Maybe that’s where he gets it.

You made a cup of tea before heading over to his bedroom. There you saw the outline of his body on his bed, facing the wall. Only now he was shaking like that night. Settling down the tea on his desk, worry knotting deep in your stomach and clawing up your throat as you quietly padded over to his bed and sat beside him.

“Hey Peter, sweetheart,” you whispered, as you took his shoulders carefully not to startle him.

As you looked over him you gave out a little gasp, one of his eyes was swollen purple and there were dried tears on his cheeks. He was muttering something and his eyes were frantically moving all about.

“No, no, stop. I know that I killed him. YES I AM A MURDERER, but please, please don’t touch her.  Let her go. NO!” Peter was now sobbing, his face scrunched up in pain. Your heart shattered right there, your own eyes had tears streaming down. You knew he was dreaming about you.

All of the sudden Peter shot up from the bed, grasping for breath, his chest heaving.

“Hey, hey, hey, hush now, I’m here, Peter,” you embraced him tightly; desperate to help him with the guilt that was tearing him apart from the inside.

Peter grabbed at you, burying his head in your neck, soaking your shirt just as you did his.

“Y/N, wha-what are you doing here? You’re not supposed to see me like this,” he pulled back to look into your eyes, they were full of anguish and bloodshot, but they were beautiful, beguiling with different flecks of brown; the eyes that could practically make you do anything.

“You seem to forget, Peter, that I love you and would go to moon and back without a spacesuit just to be with you. I know that you don’t want burden anyone else with this, but I can’t watch you tear yourself apart without doing anything about it. I need you to listen to me and understand what I am saying to you. I would go through hell for you, love,” you pleaded with him with your y/e/c eyes, begging him to let go.

“You shouldn’t be here, I don’t deserve you. I can’t make you listen to my mistakes-“

“PETER.  You are not listening to me. You are not making me do anything. I am here for you, you understand? You can let go. Let go peter. Tell me what is bothering you.”

His eyes tear up again and he tugged you back to him.  He starts to mutter into your neck, not wanting to look into your eyes as he tells you one of his deepest fears.

“I felt so much guilt for what I had done to him, that I tried to throw myself into being Spider-Man. But as I try to help people fathers steer their children away from me and mother screech at me to leave them and their kids alone. People in danger try to run away into the danger, because they are more terrified of than a freaking burning building. I don’t know what to do, because before whenever something happened to me as Peter I could always rely on being Spider-Man to save my day, but now the worst thing happened, people are now afraid of Spider-Man and I have no idea how to fix it.”

You were running you hands through his hair, soothing him, so that his sobs were becoming more of hiccups.

“But then I thought maybe sleeping would help, but all I see during my dreams is people screaming murderer at me, and some of them they take you, or May, or Ned and they kill you for revenge of that man,” Peter now pulled back to look at you, and now you could see the unshed tears and the pain that it would bring to him.

“I don’t know what I would do without you. I need you.”

His words melted you inside, but his russet eyes completely destroyed you. You leaned in to give a soft kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, for telling me. Ill tell you what I think but can I please take care of you? No offense, love, but you look like crap,” you smiled ruefully at him, knowing what he has been through for the last couple of weeks.

“I bare my soul to you and you tell me I look like crap,” peter teased you, smiling, but even barely a second later he winces.

“Dammit Peter you tell me all of this and don’t tell me you’re hurt? I made you tea, so drink it while I gather the supplies,” you command him, now slightly relieved that he has confided in you but still quite worried about his physical wellbeing.

While gathering an icepack and some Advil and other stuff, you received a message from Ned:

Ned: we r here with the food and the movies, u ready yet?

Y/N: gimme 10 min

Ned: ok

Y/N: do not eat all the food

Ned: WTH are u psychic

Y/N: no. i met u and have known u 4 years.

You went back to Peter, and while cleaning him up you started speaking:

“First of all Pete, do not ever worry me like that. Please. You have to let go of the fact that you made a mistake. If you don’t it will eat away at you. I also checked your guy, and he was not a good person. He was a rapist and the only good deed he ever did was stop breathing, and I know that this is not the way you do things but you still have to let it go. He didn’t have any relatives and has spent relatively twenty years in prison prior: I know that this wasn’t the only thing that was bothering you, but maybe this information would help you let go. Now the people are not your number one fans right now, but you have to win them over.”

“How?” Peter croaked, his voice still scratching from crying, while wincing, as you wiped a cut with antiseptic.

“Do the little things. Walk an old lady across the street. Help someone with their groceries. Then go back to what you used to do. You’ll show the public that you’re still who you where and that that was just a mistake you made.  Everyone makes mistakes. They will get over it, and you will be the people’s favorite superhero once again,” you told him as you kissed his forehead.

“You are so much wiser than me. I still think that you should be Spider-Man. I-I mean Spider-Woman.” His stuttering just makes you smiles again.

“Same mistake Parker? I thought you learned from you’re mistakes. Besides I think there is a reason why Yoda is not the hero of the story,” you knew you were head over heels with this boy, but that wasn’t a bad thing, not at all.

“My Yoda you are,” peter imitated one of your favorite characters and you laughed at him, melting once again as he pecked your lips.

“Okay, come on lover boy, lets go downstairs, I’ll make you something to eat,” you told him as you got up from the bed and hoped that Ned already had everything set up.

Peter hoped off the bed, following you close behind, and you laughed as he let out a slight yelp when there was a loud BANG as confetti poured down on both of you.

“WHAT THE HELL NED I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! Why are you giving me a heart attack?!” Peter half said half screeched at Ned.

“Well it was payback for not being in school today and not paying attention to me for the last two weeks,” Ned said, while still smiling at Peter.

The TV was turned on to The Empire Strikes Back, which as yours and Peters favorite Star Wars Episode; there was food all over the MJ was sitting on the couch shoving popcorn into her mouth while watching with amused eyes.

“What are you guys doing here tonight?” Peter looked at all of us with wide eyes.

“Well we all knew you needed a night off so we thought movie night with all of us would get your mind off things,” Ned explained to peter while sitting down on the couch, ”it was actually Y/N’s idea so.”

“Really?” Peter turned to look at you, drawing you in closer to him.

“I told you, moon and back for you,” you whispered, your eyes sparkling.

“Are you asshats done yet? I’m here for the movie,” MJ groaned,” and you, Peter,” she added after being glared at by Ned,” but mostly the movie and free food.”

Peter chuckled, and sat down pulling you into his lap as your favorite movie started.

“Thank you. I love you.”

[sweetlysilent]

That One Bet

Requested By: Anonymous

hi!! i jus honestly love ur imagines ❤️ but can u write something where peter & flash made bets and peter has been beating him at all of them until @ liz's party and peter sucks ass at beer pong until the reader comes in and helps him , u can end it however thank youuuu

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Description: The entire day Flash and Peter had been making bets, and from what you and Ned could conclude was that Peter was in the lead, until you arrived at Liz's party and saw Peter getting his ass whipped at beer pong, today, you would be the superhero.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, kinda fluffy I dunno

Word Count: 2,452

A/N: THIS WAS SO CUTE TO WRITE I'M LIVING, but it was super fun to create, it's super cheesy too aw. enjoy :)

"You do realize Flash literally almost ran you over right?" You appeared next to Peter as he glared at Flash who shouted 'Penis Parker!' as he drove away laughing.

"Yes, Y/N, I am aware I nearly died." Peter replied sarcastically with a dramatic eye roll, earning a hard shove from you into Peter's shoulder.

"Aye!" Peter shouted, holding his shoulder, seeing your intense glare at him, his eyes softened a bit, pulling you in for a hug.

"I'm sorry bug," He murmured into your hair as you hugged him back, relaxing at his touch, "I know you were just caring about my safety." He sighed, rubbing your back gently before you two broke apart.

"Yes. Therefore, you should be grateful." You replied back sarcastically, making Peter shake his head at you with a smile.

"Although, sometimes I wish you could go all Spidey on him and web his car up." You whispered, laughing, making Peter laugh along with you as you both entered the school.

The second school started you'd think world war three was happening, anytime you saw either Flash or Peter they were at a constant stage of war.

"Peter what are you doing?" You asked him when you ran into him in the hallway, he was out of breath, sweat dripping down his forehead as he looked around the hallway.

"Flash bet me that I couldn't run the entire school in under a minute, he was wrong, aka, I won." He smiled triumphantly, taking a bow, as you stood there unamused.

You weren't going to lie, you didn't understand this whole betting thing going on, all you knew was that it was starting to push your buttons.

But being the friend you were, you let it go, since Peter was having the time of his life beating his arch nemeses.

Therefore, you continued about your day, going to class, watching as Flash made a bet with Peter that he couldn't build a stink bomb and get the entire school to evacuate.

He did.

And you were beyond annoyed.

"Did you really have to bet that?" You sighed, looking at your best friend who was grinning at Flash who looked pissed as hell.

Flash hadn't one a bet yet, and you knew it was driving him insane, he wanted to crush Peter with everything he had.

"Yes Y/N, I wasn't going to loose." Peter laughed, but stopped once seeing your face, knowing you were far from happy.

You let out an annoyed huff, turning on your heel as they started allowing students back in the building.

Maybe you should stay away from him the rest of the day.

And that's exactly what you did.

And Peter noticed, big time.

Every time he won a bet, he'd go and look for you so he could brag about how he beat Flash again, but found that you were nowhere to be seen, peaking his curiosity.

This went on for the rest of the day, even at lunch.

"Hey Ned, how did the math test go? Was it hard? Or was it easy?" You rambled on, Ned watching you with an amused smile, he was also your best friend.

He knew how important studies were to you, you wanted to get into a high college where you could actually put your knowledge to something life changing.

"Honestly, you'll do great, it wasn't that bad, some problems were ehh, but besides that you should be fine." Ned replied, taking a bite of his sandwich as you visibly relaxed.

"Alright good, because I-" You were cut off as Flash and Peter came walking over, in a heated argument, making you roll your eyes.

"There is no way you have won all of these bets and I've won nothing!" Flash shouted, making Peter smirk in glory, infuriating Flash even more.

"Not my fault you can't keep up." Peter replied, making Flash's blood boil even more, his eyes narrowing at Peter.

"Liz is having a party tonight, we will continue this there." Flash pointed at Peter who raised his eyebrows.

"Be there, or else." Flash threatened, making Peter bite his lip and nod, laughing as Flash stormed off.

"Can you believe him?" Peter motioned towards Flash, before glancing between you and Ned.

"-Uh, guys, what's up?" Peter hesitantly questioned, seeing as both you and Ned had blank looks on your faces.

"Peter, we know that you're in the lead and all, and that you're having a blast with all these bets, but it's just not our thing." Ned shrugged slightly, as you continued to pick at your food.

"Oh. I didn't know." Peter replied quietly, looking at Ned, giving him a silent apology, before looking at you, who refused to look away from your food.

Peter had noticed you'd been distant the entire day, and now it all made sense, each time he came up to you excitedly to brag about winning a bet, you could never relate and the more he did it the smaller it made you feel.

Lunch soon ended, and you were quick to grab your belongings and get out as fast as you could, avoiding Peter the best you could.

You knew it was wrong, but you just couldn't take it anymore, sure you were proud of him standing up to Flash and winning all the bets, but what was it to you?

You didn't have any other friends besides Peter, Ned, Michelle and occasionally Liz when she felt like hanging out with you.

Therefore, you could never relate to what pure victory and happiness was, the only time you felt slight happiness was when you got a good grade on a paper or test, proving your dreams could potentially be something in the future.

You went on the rest of the day, avoiding Peter if you saw him in class or the hallway, he knew what you were doing too, and he knew it was his fault he had pushed you away without meaning to.

Ned told him you'd cool off soon, but Peter wasn't so sure, he'd never seen you this upset before.

"Ned, I think I really hit something with her, she doesn't normally ignore me this long with I mess up." Peter spoke nervously, walking to their last class, one that you were also in.

"Okay, so lets say you did, what are you going to do to fix it?" Ned questioned, making Peter stop and think for a moment.

"I can try to talk to her?" He spoke aloud, more as a question than a statement, making Ned shake his head and walk into class.

You sat at your normal seat, glancing up when you saw them walk in, your eyes locking with Peter's before you broke and looked down at your paper.

You hated doing this, but for the moment it was for the best, at least that was what you were telling yourself.

The rest of the day went on, and the last bell finally rang, and you were free, you had gotten invited to Liz's party by Liz herself, shocking you a bit, but you agreed.

You had arrived a bit early to help set up, something you enjoyed since you rarely spent time with Liz anymore.

"Okay, Y/N, what's going on between you and Peter?" She broke the silence, pulling out red cups, as you stood there in shock.

"W-What do you mean?" You stammered, making her smile and laugh at your reaction.

"I mean it's clear you both have a thing for each other, but you both somehow don't seem to see it." She poured out some chips into a bowl as you brought out more cups, placing them on the counter.

"Peter and I are just friends." You tried to convince her, but the more you thought about it, were you trying to convince yourself too?

Liz saw your hesitation, making her smirk at you, causing you to blush slightly, maybe she was right?

Her house was finally all set up, and people soon poured in, music becoming louder, people dancing and laughing.

And then they walked in.

Ned had a hat on, which did look pretty good if you did say so yourself, and then there was Peter who was looking around anxiously.

You both soon made eye contact, neither one of you breaking the stare until Flash came over, causing Peter to look away.

You stood there stunned for a moment, looking at Ned wide-eyed as if saying what the hell just happened?

He gave a shrug in return, making you run your fingers through your hair frustrated, you truly hated having emotions sometimes.

You decided to go get a snack, and process the 'moment' you just had with Peter, watching your surroundings and cringing at how drunk some of your classmates were getting.

Who knew so many people thought getting wasted was fun, you never really understood drinking, you knew it fogged your brain up for some time and you could let loose and have fun, but there were so many more consequences that followed.

Exactly why you never once drank in your life, you couldn't afford to risk everything you worked so hard for to go straight into the toilet, literally.

You were deep in thought until you heard chanting coming from the other room, peaking your interest you wandered over, seeing Flash and Peter playing beer pong.

Must be another one of their bets you thought to yourself, but you then noticed Peter was loosing, and he was freaking out.

You stood there unsure of what to do, you knew you had been avoiding him all day because of this very reason, but there was no way in hell you'd let him loose to Flash.

You squeezed through the crowd of people, walking up next to Peter, startling him, causing Flash to laugh.

"Shut it would ya?" You snapped at Flash, causing everyone to 'ooh' and make snide remarks, as Flash simply smiled.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" Peter questioned, clearly surprised you were talking to him again.

"I'm being the hero this time." You smiled slightly, creating a small smile to form on his lips.

"I'm loosing pretty bad Y/N, there isn't really anything that can help." Peter sighed in defeat, but you just smiled, a twinkle in your eye.

"Peter, if you win, we can go on a date." You whispered into his ear, making his eyes widen and his knees go weak for a split second.

"A-Are you s-serious?" He gulped nervously, making you giggle slightly and nod in response.

"But you have to win, or else Flash gets to take me on that date." You teased, watching as his jaw tensed at the thought.

You then stood to the side, watching as the game continued, and out of nowhere, Peter started gaining on Flash, and soon enough Peter was in the lead, and last thing you knew Peter had won.

Flash stood there in furry, claiming that he had cheated, but everyone knew he was just being a sore loser.

You clapped your hands slowly, watching as Peter's eyes lit up at the sight of you.

"Congratulations, you did it." You smiled, watching as Peter played it off like it was nothing.

"I always knew you could." You mumbled, watching his cheeks turn a light shade of pink at your comment.

"I'm really sorry about today, I didn't mean to make you feel like you weren't good enough or not important, I-I was just trying to impress you." Peter admitted, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Really?" You smiled, biting your lip as you watched Peter smile and nod back at you.

"I've liked you for so long Y/N, and it feels so good finally telling you that." Peter sighed, grabbing your hands before pulling you into a hug.

"I like you too Peter." You smiled, running your hands up and down his back gently.

You both stood there for a few moments, just taking in the new information, and each other.

"I'm so glad I did all those bets." Peter laughed, making you laugh along with him, he truly was the dorkiest person you knew.

You both eventually pulled away, goofy grins on both of your faces as if everyone else around you didn't matter.

"So, how about that date?"

[aparoxysm]

all super detailed questions about Sally ✿♥‿♥✿

( @requicms , @sammrps --- koda, may and brandon are mentioned in this and you dont have to read because its HELLA LONG, but yeah. )

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Every once and a while I’ll stumble across a name and be like “WOW why don’t people use this name more??? i love it??” and at the time, Sally was one of them. I knew most people always associated it with Nightmare Before Christmas/Blink 182 and I wanted to defy that with a character. I chose Redmayne because I’m a piece of shit and she’s got red hair so sue me hahahahaha. I wish I’d chosen something else now tbh. 

But Sally does mean “a sudden charge out of a besieged place against the enemy; a sortie.” which I think is unexpectedly more than accurate.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Weak But Skilled, City Mouse, Control Freak, Daddy’s Girl, The Fashionista, The Fighting Narcissist, Ice Queen, Idle Rich, Insufferable Genius, Iron Lady,Lonely Rich Kid, The Prima Donna, Rich Bitch, Schemer, Socialite, Spoiled Brat.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

In the grand scheme of things, Sally’s childhood was perfect. She grew up getting whatever it is she wanted, especially out of fear that since she’s adopted, if she didn’t, she would use her power to resent them for not being her biological parents. If there is anything that runs in their family, it is shallowness and insecurity. Good memories involve visiting holiday homes, travelling, going to broadway and fashion shows. Bad memories involve the first time she learned she was allergic to cats, swelling up to the size of twenty balloons and being hospitalized for a week, and her dad’s having to take time off.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

On the over all, Sally has good relationships with both her adoptive parents. Jacob is a primadonna, a total diva, a socielite and a fashionista. She’s learned all of her high class, spoiled brat, fashion queen, superior antics from him. He likes to think he’s taught her everything there is to know about being a powerful woman among stupid men. She idolizes him

Peter, on the other hand, is far more reclusive and down to earth. He’s taught her the improtance of fairness, honesty and goodness. He was the one who always comforted her about her lonliness, the one who encouraged her to let herself be open to the idea of friendship with Kitty, he’s the one who’s always been there for a real piece of sound advice from the heart, rather than the head.

As for her birth parents, she’s met her mother, and they are nothing alike. She hasn’t yet gone to look for her father, but I hope to explore that soon.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

I think that she does and she doesn’t know it yet. I have in mind a half brother, from her father’s side. A Dane Dehaan, a real Jerk With A Heart Of Gold type character. Someone who is comfortably wealthy but doesn’t see eye-to-eye with his father’s success. And I think that they would connect on a level of being kept out in the cold. I’d love to explore the idea more, but for now, it’s just that.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

She was ever studious and typically the person everyone hated because she reminded the teacher that there was assigned homework. She graduated with flying colours, then went on to Uni and got accepted into an amazingly prestigeous program that allowed her to study in France and finish her degree. I forget what it was called, but I reasearched the school and their degrees. It was a combination of Fashion and Science and how the two enterlocked, very Sally. Fibre science I think or something. She loved all of her subjects, she’s such a nerd. She especially liked writing essays though, anything with writing and she was getting 100%. I think she only hated the practical side of things, like she is okay at sewing but I don’t see her being amazing at it. I think she likes the theory of textiles and likes telling people how to make them.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

NOpe! Nic was headcanoned as her childhood friend since preschool, since her and his parents crossed over a lot with the town’s reputation. Jacob and Blanca were best of friends for many years so they pushed Sally and Nic to be the same, which they did, so there was that.

Otherwise in high school her only friend was Kitty. And after school, Koda. That was it basically. 3 Friends LOL. Now after all of that, she’s adding Brandon into the mix. She’s so picky with the people she shares herself with, I’m amazed she even has a handful.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

Yes, her sweet little handbag dog, Amé. She was a birthday present a couple of years ago. She doesn’t really like animals no, they make her squeamish, but Amé is very quiet and gentlenatured, the perfect companion for Sally. She often is sleeping on Sally’s bed, her own doggy bed, or the couch. She’s kind of a quiet company for Sally, whom she sometimes talks to when she needs to vent her feelings. The only time Amé acts up is around people she doesn’t know, she gets way too excited and Sally hates it. She only likes when Amé is calm.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

HAHA nope. Sally with a big dog would be her Worst Nightmare™.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

She does and she doesn’t like children. Like with her dog, when they’re quiet and they behave, she loves them. The moment they throw a tantrum or are loud or messy, she has to tell herself to chill out or else she’ll have a melt down. I feel like children hate her, even when she tries to like them and goes out of her characteristic way to be nice. Theyre just like “NO” and shes like “ok listen here u little twit if you dont appreciate what i am doing for you ---”

So I think as a parent she would be very controlling. Too controlling and her partner would have to encourage her to ease up sometimes, that her children arent projects to be completely controlled, that making mistakes is part of learning and growing up. And that would be so hard for Sally to let happen. She was such a good behaved child and she let her parents condition every aspect of her (well, mostly Jacob), so not doing the same would just make no sense to her.

She would be the most spoiling and scary-when-mad godparent/babysitter/etc.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

For the longest time she was vegetarian and didn’t drink alcohol AT all. Now, with character development, she’s gone vegan but allowed herself to drink on special occasions. She does, however, have an immense allergy to cat hair and some medications.

12. What is their favourite food? 

Sushi!!! (And her biggest guilty pleasure; macaroons. Dont let her near them she will eat them all uncontrollably. And feel ashamed every time.)

13. What is their least favourite food?

Meat.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Luis’ restauraunt ha ha ha. No but her and Nic used to always go for seafood, and she would break her vegetarian rules for him and eat shrimp. Now, I think she just enjoys going for green juices with May, and sushi train with Kitty. Also, take away will always remind her of Koda. And coffee dates, of Brandon. I feel like she has a scheduled day of the week for each other these hahaha.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

HAHAHAHA. Sally can’t cook, and she’d never really been interested in learning. Having a live-in housemaid kind of stopped her from learning to do anything domestic. She can’t cook, doesn’t know how to do laundry, and never got her driver’s lisence. She is a failure of a human in those aspects.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

Sally used to love doing crafts, and she would make cards every year for birthdays and holidays. So I imagine she still collects craft things for that, but never does it anymore because she’s too busy. They just kind of lay on her desk or in their craft box, never getting used. 

Of course, she also collects shoes and clothes. Duh.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

Not really, she’s never had an eye for photography, and she hasn’t really had the chance to understand how a proper DSLR works. Mostly I think because she doesn’t really like being in photos. I imagine Kitty would always be like “!!!” when she’s photographed at a social event, showing off the print and Sally is just lowkey trying not to snatch it and burn it (but also look at it a lot in secret first to notice all her shallow imperfections). If anything, I think she would take photos of her parents on vacations, or of Kitty because she’d be constantly thrown her phone like “TAKE A PHOTO OF ME WITH THESE DOLPHINS!! HERE, TAKE A PHOTO OF ME LOOKING HOT BY THE POOL!!! OH MY GOD, LET ME GO STAND OVER THERE, YOU CAN TAKE A PHOTO!!” but also she would force Sally to be in some as well.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Books: factual.Music: quiet, indie.Tv Shows: soap opera, dramatic not comical.Films: black and white, foreign with subtitles, romance, dark and philosophical themes.Video games; none.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

Books: teen, sci-fi.Music: loud, obnoxious, rap, nsfw content.Tv Shows: comedic, ones that dont really follow a story line.Films: action.Video games; all.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Okay she loves classic musicals. Like she is a big Les Misérables fan which is annoying because I hate it. I think she also LOVED the Lion King broadway show, Hairspray, Pracilla and like. Wicked obviously.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Oh she has a temper alright. But at the same time, sometimes, she can have incredible patiences. Like if she knows it’s worth waiting for (Kitty’s soberity, Koda’s health regeneration, Brandon’s ability to let her in) she’ll be a as patient as a saint. But she does lose her temper a lot, and she just goes full on control freak mode. She becomes impossible to deal with, so you kind of just need to let her ride it out. 

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

You’re impossible. / You’re insufferable. / I hate you. / Excuse me? / etc.

She will insult people for just about any reason she sees fit.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Annoyingly good memory. She’ll remember something you said on Tuesday the 14th of April, 1982.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

She’s that impossible creature that sleeps on a bed of 100 pillows, with her hands neatly folded over her sternum, hair laid out like sleeping beauty. She sleeps on pastel silk sheets, the hardest matress you’ll probably ever feel, and she goes to bed at exactly 9.30 pm every night and wakes at 6am every day without fail.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

When people think they’re better or smarter than her. She’s got a shit sense of humour though, she isn’t used to being the one making the jokes. She’s not really that funny tbh. Nor does she usually find other people’s sense of humour worth her time. So if she laughs at things you say, you’ve made it.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

She cannot sing to save her life, so I think she talks to herself a lot. But the upbeat, chipper kind of way, that you’d notice because you can’t ignore it. I think she also does random acts of kindness, and that is super uncharacteristic, so you would definitely notice that too. 

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

The fact she’s lonely, the fact that her birth mother doesn’t want anything to do with her, the fact that she can’t have everything she wants at the drop of a hat, the fact that she doesn’t know how to make friends or feel normal like everyone else. And yeah, she’s got a lot of pent up emotion and doesn’t really know how to deal with being sad or disappointed. So I think mostly, she’ll go into her closet, shut the door and cry. She wont cry in front of someone else if she can help it. She’s too private about herself, she’d never let someone see she’s fallen from her perch.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

That she’ll always feel how lonely she feels right now. Or that she’ll never have what everyone else has; friendship, family and a partner.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

I think it shocks her because to find out a persons fear, you need to be let in close to look at them, and she’s never expecting to be liked enough to be given that privilage. So she mostly falls silent, and just quietly thinks about it for a long time. Then, yeah, she gets protective and starts culling ways to help people achieve their goals rather than bring them down. Once she cares, she’s feircely supportive.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

She goes for a 6.30 am run every day aside from Sundays and Mondays. Then she does yoga and pilates some other days, and has a very strict diet to keep the weight off. She was a bit chunkier in high school and the memory still horrifies her, even though it was just baby fat.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Only on special occasions, like public events and holidays. I don’t think she’s ever been drunk before to be honest, but if she were to get drunk, just think of the scene where Kat Stratford drinks and starts dancing like a looney on the table, making a fool of herself. Yeah. Probably Sally lbh. Also, she’d get into political wars with everything, including a tree or chair.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

She wears a lot of Chanel the most, Prada shoes and handbags, and Gucci accessories. She wears lots of pasels, whites, creams, nudes, pinks, rosegolds, gold and browns. All the material is wears is high quality, and to sleep, she wears a pink silk nighty. She wears mineral cruelty free make up, and it’s all soft golds, browns, coppers and rose golds as well. She usually wears her hair up for work, down at home, and in a braid when she’s by herself or around someone she feels comfortable with. It’s her “chilled out” hair style, believe it or not.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Pinks and whites, probably lacey tbh, and probably very expensive. She’s very much into haute couture so I can’t imagine her settling for non descript bonds or something. She probably has the most beautiful underwear sets that never go to any sexual use LOL.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

She is short af. Hence why she likes to wear heels so often, even though she wears flats a lot, there’s no in between. While she’s skinny, I imagine she has lean thighs, like the kind people who run a lot get, and she hates it. She loves to run, and hates that it gives her “man calves and thighs”. It makes her hips look a little too big for her liking. She hates her body.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

Guilty: Macaroons. They go against her no-sugar diet, but she loves them too much to say no. Unguilty: acting superior towards everyone.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

She is good at debating and organizing. She likes to plan events and organize everything from the guest list, to the menu, to the decorations. She also likes craft, and planning outfits. She can’t sing. AT all.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

She loves reading, she always has. She likes to read books to learn, not for fictional pleasure. She’s a really, really fast reader. She can finish books in one sitting (which makes me so jealous). She does like poetry, but often the really ambiguous kind from authors not a lot of people are familiar with. Non fiction, 100%.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

She wishes she could relax and dance silly like Kitty, just to make people smile and to feel true freedom. She wishes she could speak more languages (even though she can speak 5 and write 3). She wishes she could be normal, and she admires people for their adaptability and empathy.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Oh the romantic in her loves them, but the old fashioned prude in her loves them too. She sends lots of letters, but also uses emails for work a lot. She likes all of them.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Energy drinks? No. Coffee? Yes. Sugary foods? No. She is hyped up on her own sense of crazy so she doesn’t really need any of these.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Heterosexual. 

Things she finds attractive; good wit, chivalry, sense and reason, sensible people, smart people, business savvy people, a good suit, cleanshaven and expensive cologne, wealth and passion.

What she wants in a relationship; romance, support, devotion.

What she needs in a relationship; respect of privacy, trust, honesty.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Her goals lay in the fashion industry, she wants to work in a BIG and well known company, where she can boss people around and choose looks for approaching seasons. She likes to buy for companies, rather than design. She likes being the one who chooses what’s hot and what’s not. 

She would sacrifice her dream of having a family if it meant getting the career of her dreams.

Personal goals include getting married and having children.

Her secret ambition is to finally be okay with who she is as a person, and stop trying to live to her expectation of what everyone else thinks is right and just.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Yes, she’s a Christian. She goes through phases of practicing, she used to a lot more when she was younger, but now she likes to practice quietly and in privacy. She thinks non religious people are missing out.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

Spring, because florals! But also autumn, because autumn colours are so her colours. She likes the filler seasons because she doesn’t like extreme heat or cold. Her perfect weather is no wind, but a slight chill in the air. She doesn’t do well with ice and snow OR heat and sunburn. She complains about the cold the most I think.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

They usually see her as stuck up, bossy, annoying, spoiled, narcassistic, and controlling. And tbh it’s not much different to how she sees herself, becuse she does acknowledge all of those traits in herself. But it kind of makes her sad too, because rather than trying to prove people wrong, she puts up a guard. If that’s what they think? Then good for them, they’re missing out, they’ll never get to see how much love she actually has to give, or how supportive, loyal and caring she can be.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

HA, no way. People hate her on sight generally. Usually she introduces herself with a look of really not wanting to be there. She’s very snobby, so you’ll be able to tell instantly if she likes you or not. Other than that, when she knows it’s in her best interest not to be rude, she’s fake. She’s so shiny plastic fake, that it’s usually easy to see through as well.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Shiny plastic fake, as put just before. She adores formal occasions and events, she loves black tie events, but she loves white tie more. Being invited to prestigious events makes Sally believe she’s worth something, even though she knows that without all the wealth and notoriety, these people are basically nothing. She likes the entrepreneurial air of fancy parties, the networking, the gossip. She likes feeling included in something that really couldn’t care less if she turned up or not. :/

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

Yes, the big, fancy, corperate types. You won’t catch her at a bar, club or house party though to save her life. Not unless Kitty literally bound and dragged her there. She likes to organize any formal event she can, if she can get her name on the commitee list, she will put 110% towards making sure it’s a big success. 

If she’s being dragged to a party, Sally normally sits uncomfortably and turns down every drink/food offered to her. She complains the whole time, looks upset and unsettled, and asks when she can go home all night. Probably leaving of her own accord once Kitty gets too drunk. (with or without her).

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Her day planner, it has her life inside it, and she relies so heavily upon it I’m not sure what she’d do without it. It goes everywhere with her yes, along with her phone because of her calendar. She’s always got something on in the next five minutes, whether it’s actually something important or “bathroom break”. 

She’s very sentimental though. She remembers her first pair of shoes she bought herself, the first Chanel dress her father gave her, the necklace she got for her birthday, the complimentary pack she got from her first fashion show as a somebody, the shrivelled balloon from the first birthday party Kitty ever threw for her, etc. Those things stay with her forever, and she keeps them very dear to her cold, stony heart.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Her day planner. Facial and body clenses. A hair brush/comb. Her phone. A smart pair of flats. Her passport and another form of ID. Hand cream. A travel sized perfume. Hand sanitizer and a packet of sanitizer wipes. An echo bottle of water. A good quality sweater in case she gets cold. Asprin and an epipen.