#peter!friends to lovers

[waitimcomingtoo]

And I’ve Been Meaning To Tell You

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: you overhear Peter denying that he likes you so you go out with another guy, leaving him to crash your date and tell you how he feels

Masterlist

“At what point does the staring because you’re pining for your friend become staring because you’re a stalker and planing on wearing her hair as a wig?” Ned asked after following Peter’s gaze and seeing he was once again staring at you from across the cafeteria.

“I don’t know. I think when I start wearing baseball caps and standing outside her window with binoculars.” Peter sighed happily and rested his chin in his hand as he continued to stare.

“But, it’s not gonna get to that point though, right?” Ned laughed nervously.

“I don’t know.” Peter shrugged. “She lives on a pretty high floor.”

“That’s not the answer I wanted.” Ned said quietly.

“I had a dream last night that I asked her out and she said “I’ll see you at 8” without ever telling me where we were meeting just like in the movies.” Peter said proudly.

“You should not be proud of that. Why don’t you just ask her out with your out loud words for once?” Ned asked him.

“Because the dynamic of our friendship will be-“

“-forever altered past the point of repair and things will eventually return to normal but never feel the same.” Ned groaned as ge finished Peter’s sentence. “Yes, I know. Thats always your excuse. But I really don’t think she’ll say no.”

“You don’t know that.” Peter insisted. “I can’t risk it.”

“Peter, it’s so obvious you guys like each other. She always laughs at your jokes and nobody, and I mean nobody, finds you funny. And I know you like her back because you stare at her all the time and got goosebumps that one time her ponytail hit you in the face.”

“It smelled like freedom and prosperity.” Peter whispered.

“So ask her out and smell her ponytail all the time.” Ned whispered back.

“I just can’t, okay? And I don’t even like her like that. So stop bringing it up.” Peter said and looked over at you again. He watched you leave a group of friends and walk over to him and Ned.

“But you guys obviously want to be together so why don’t you just be together?” Ned asked him.

“Because I don’t like her and she doesn’t like me, okay? That’s that.” Peter whispered harshly just as you sat down at their table.

“Hey guys. I’m pretty sure I just got a veinte out of one hundred on my Spanish quiz so.” You sighed and dropped your backpack on the table.

“Hi.” Peter’s blushed and smiled at you. Your bad mood quickly eviscerated and you smiled back.

“Hi Peter.”

“If you want, I can help you study for your next Spanish quiz. I took it last semester and did fairly bien.” Peter offered.

“Really?” You lit up. “Thanks, Pete. That would be so bien of you.”

“No problemo.” Peter said back.

“This feels…racist.” Ned mumbled as he watched the interaction.

“I, uh, I watched that movie you were talking about the other day.“ You told Peter with a nervous smile.

“You watched Alien? Did you like it?” Peter asked excitedly.

“I did but it made me kinda paranoid about, you know, aliens. But I liked the part when the alien came out of the guys chest. I never realized that scene was from that movie. I felt like I was finally in on the film bros inside jokes.”

“Yeah. I like that part too. I also like the part when he swam up the filters motor and stuck that pebble in there so the tank would get dirty and have to be cleaned, giving all the other fish a chance to escape.” Peter replied. It took you a minute to get it but when you did, you burst out laughing. Peter blushed at how hard you were laughing at his joke while Ned watched the interaction in disgust.

“That was not funny.” Ned shook his head. “Not even a little bit. It was a little criminal actually.”

“What? Yes it was. Peters always funny.” You insisted.

“Isn’t he though?” Ned faked a smile before rolling his eyes.

“Hey, back off. I liked the joke.” You defended Peter, making his blush deepen.

“Thank you. I like your jokes too.” Peter told you.

“Ugh.” Ned groaned. “This is revolting to watch. Why don’t you guys just get married already?”

“That’s not a bad idea.” You said. “We’d get a tax break, right? Whatever that means.”

“It’s when they break your taxes in half.” Peter answered.

“Oh, is that it?” You laughed. “Sounds about right.”

“I know because I took that accounting class freshman year. You weren’t in that class so you wouldn’t know.” He teased you.

“Hm. Is that the class they cancelled because not enough people signed up?” You teased back.

“Yep. That one.” He nodded. “Wow. The memory on you. You’d be an excellent gatherer if this was Hunter gatherer times.”

“Aw, Peter. That’s the nicest thing a guys ever said to me.” You smiled and touched your heart.

“If you liked that compliment I have like eight more in the chamber ready to go.” Peter told you.

“Oh my God. Just make out already. But not in front of my clementine.” Ned grumbled and peeled his clementine. You and Peter fell silent at his exclamation. Peter’s face burned with embarrassment while you avoided eye contact with either of them.

“I’m gonna go refill my water bottle. I’ll be right back.” You smiled awkwardly and quickly left the table.

“Nice job, Ned.” Peter hugged. “You just made her so uncomfortable she went to fill up a full water bottle.”

“I told you, dude. She obviously likes you. I was just pointing out the obvious.” Ned defended himself.

“She doesn’t like me.” Peter insisted.

“Are you kidding me? You just made a Finding Nemo joke and she actually laughed. Not even fake laugh. That was a genuine belly laugh at the worst joke I have ever had the misfortune of hearing. She’s down horrendous for you.”

“No, she’s not. She just sees me as a friend. And I don’t even like her like that so it doesn’t matter.” Peter lied in an effort to change the subject.

“You can’t hide the truth from your best friend. I see right through your lies. You like her. I know it and you know it. Why can’t she know it?” Ned asked.

“I told you to stop bringing it up.” Peter grumbled, growing frustrated now. It wasn’t uncommon for Ned to bring this up but it was happening more than usual lately and all it did was remind Peter that you’d never be together.

“But-“

“I don’t like her, okay? I never did. I don’t think she’s pretty, I don’t find her funny, and I don’t want to be her boyfriend. I don’t know why you don’t believe me. I swear, I do not like her like that. I never have, and I never will. Okay?” Peter snapped. Little did he know, you had come back to the table and heard his whole outburst. You blinked a few times as your stomach sank but put on a brave face and sat down.

“I’m back.” You forced a smiled but didn’t meet Peter’s eyes. Peter’s eyes widened when you sat down and he looked at Ned.

“How much of that did you hear?” Peter asked you.

“How much of what?” You played dumb. You had to pretend you weren’t crushed that the boy you’d been pining after for years just very aggressively confirmed he didn’t like you.

“Nothing.” Peter lied and exchanged another look with Ned. Ned shrugged before changing the subject to move away from the moment entirely. You pretended to listen as you tried your best not to look as disappointed as you felt.

Once your break was over, you left the cafeteria and went for a walk around campus to clear your head. You ended up on a bench and sat down before taking a big sigh. You hadn’t noticed the guy that was sitting on the other end of the bench, but he certainly noticed you.

“Hey.” He said. You looked around for who he was talking to but found no one.

“Me, hey?” You asked and pointed to yourself.

“Yeah. You, hey.” He smiled and nodded his head.

“Oh. Hey.” You smiled back.

“I’m Drew.” He said.

“Y/n.” You said back.

“What’s the matter, Y/n? You look forlorn.”

“Oh, it’s stupid.” You waved your hand.

“Not to me. Tell me about it.” He insisted and scooted closer to you. You looked down at the lessened space between the two of you and laughed shyly.

“It’s nothing. I just overheard my friends talking about me.” You told him.

“Oh shit. Was it bad?”

“Not necessarily. But it didn’t make me feel good.”

“Damn. That sucks.” Drew said. You nodded in agreement and an awkward silence fell between you.

“I like that shirt.” He said suddenly and nodded towards your shirt.

“Oh, thanks. I borrowed it from a girl I didn’t even talk to anymore.” You replied as you pulled on the shirt.

“Finders keepers.” He shrugged. “You should wear it when I take you out.”

“Why would I wear a shirt you’ve already seen when we go out?” You laughed.

“So we’re going out?” Drew smiled.

“I guess we are.” You shrugged and realized you had just agreed to a date.

“Cool. I’ll pick you up Friday.” Drew winked at you before getting off the bench. You smiled at the unexpected interaction before realizing you had not gotten a single detail.

“Wait, pick me up where?” You called after him, but he was already gone. You slumped back in your seat on the bench and felt an equal mix of confusion and excitement. Maybe this new guy was exactly what you needed to forget about Peter.

The next day, you sat with Peter and Ned at your usual spot in the lunch room but barely paid attention to their conversation. Drew had found you on Instagram and you’d been talking to him all day. Peter had noticed your thumbs flying around your keyboard and the smile on your face and felt curious and ever so slightly jealous about who was making you smile like that.

“Is that good with you Y/n?” Ned asked you.

“Sorry, what?” You asked and put your phone down.

“We were saying we were gonna get chicken wings and watch the Trixi Mattel documentary.” Peter informed you.

“Again? And I can’t Friday.” You told them.

“Why not?” Peter asked.

“I have a date.”

Ned and Peter exchanged a looked before started to speak at the same time. They both stumbled over their words and spoke over each other as they gave you all their thoughts and opinions on why you should not go on this date. You tried to cut in but Ned kept listing Criminal Minds plot lines where women were murdered while Peter asked question after question about the guy.

“Slow down. One at a time.” You shouted over them and they both went silent. You pointed to Ned to signal that it was his turn to talk.

“You have a date? With a human boy?” Ned asked in disgust.

“Yeah. Is that surprising?” You asked, sounding a little hurt that they were so shocked.

“No.” Peter replied and looked at Ned to signal for him to say the same so that you wouldn’t be offended.

“Yes.” Ned said immediately. “Who the hell is this guy?”

“Ned.” Peter said warningly.

“His name is Drew.” You shrugged.

“Drew? What’s his brothers name, draw? Stupid fucking past tense ass bullshit name.” Ned grumbled.

“Jesus Ned.” You laughed. “It’s a normal name. It’s short for Andrew.”

“Andrew?” Peter scoffed. “What is he, an apostle?”

“I don’t think there was an apostle named. Andrew.” You stated. “I think they were all named Mark. And like, John or something.”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t there.” Peter waved his hand. “Why are you going on a date with this potential psychopath?”

“Because asked me on a date.” You said simply.

“And you said yes? When we don’t even know this guy. What if he’s into hardcore drugs and wants to use you as a drug mule for his next big drug operation?“

“He seemed fine.” You shrugged.

“So you’re gonna risk your life going on a date with this lunatic because he “seemed” fine? What if he’s a cannibal?” Ned asked.

“I don’t think he’s a cannibal. He was just sitting on a bench on his phone.”

“Oh my God. He sounds completely insane. Check the sex offender registry for his name right now.” Ned instructed Peter. Peter started typing his name into his laptop so you shut Peter’s laptop with a roll of your eyes.

“Why are you guys being insane? I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“I’m about to end my life over this.” Peter mumbled.

“Me too.” Ned added. “What even spurred this reckless decision?”

“I don’t know. A guy hasn’t shown interest in me in a while. This guy did so I took a chance. Is it really that crazy?”

“Yes.” Ned said immediately. “You’re ludicrous for this. You are absolutely Pitbull featuring Ludacris for this. Saying yes to a date with a stranger. This girl has lost her damn mind.”

“How else do you meet people?” You asked them.

“You don’t.” Peter said a sarcastic laugh. you threw your hands up in exasperation and Peter and Ned exchanged a look.

“What he means is, you should try asking a friend out. That way, you already know them and know you won’t get diced and quartered into a bunch of little pieces.” Ned said kindly.

“Why would he dice me and quarter me? Wouldn’t one or the either be enough?” You asked.

“Probably not for this lunatic.” Ned laughed like it was ridiculous to suggest.

“I think you guys are over reacting. What if he’s just a nice guy wants to take me on a date?”

“No guy wants that.” Ned groaned.

“Wow. Thanks Ned.” You said sarcastically.

“What I meant was, Peter has something to say.” Ned said and pointed to Peter. Peter turned bright red and gave Ned an angry look.

“You do?” You asked Peter.

“No?” Peter replied.

“Right.” You smiled tightly and looked away from him, making Peter know he blew it.

“Where is the date?” Ned asked.

“I don’t know. Some frat house. He said his friend is having a party and he wants to take me.”

“A party? At a frat house? With underage drinking? Oh great. So this guy is a law breaker. He probably has an extensive criminal record already. And I bet it’s for the drug mule thing.” Ned insisted.

“We’re all 21. You literally turned 22 last week.” You reminded him.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant to this conversation.” Ned brushed you off.

“What kind of first date is a party anyway? A girl like you deserves to be taken on a nice, well thought out date that doesn’t involve getting drunk around strangers. If I was the one taking you on a date, I’d make a picnic of your favorite snacks and we’d eat it on the rooftop of my apartment while the sun sets.” Peter stated.

“But you’re not the one taking me on a date. He is. He likes me, you don’t.” You said sharply, making everyone fall silent. You hadn’t meant to snap at Peter like that but it bothered you that he was aggressively putting down your date after rejecting you.

“What? Am I wrong?” You asked the table.

“Peter.” Ned whispered but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. You looked at Peter again but he just couldn’t do it.

“No. You’re not wrong.” He said quietly. You nodded your head like you expected that before getting up from the table.

“I just wanted my friends to tell me they were happy for me. Instead, we just had one of the weirdest and least encouraging conversations I’ve ever been an apart of. I’ll see you guys later.” You grumbled and walked away.

“That went well.” Ned said once you were gone.

“She definitely overheard me. I totally hurt her feelings and drove her right into the arms of that cannibal drug mule. Why did I say those things?” Peter asked and rubbed his face in frustration.

“I don’t know man. I would have stopped at “I don’t like her” but you really went off.” Ned agreed.

“Because you were annoying me with how much you were asking.” Peter whined. “Oh God. What am I gonna do now? Shes gonna go to that party and fall in love with draw and forget all about me.”

“I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna find draw’s party and crash it. And you’re gonna woman up and tell her how you feel.”

“How are we gonna find his party? We’re not exactly good at attending parties.”

“I have my sources.” Ned smiled deviously.

“You’re just track her location on snap maps, aren’t you?” Peter sighed.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna track her on snap maps.” Ned admitted.

When Friday came around, Peter and Ned were glued to their phones as the tried to find out where you were. Luckily for them, you had been posting a plethora of pictures of the party to your Snapchat so they easily found where you were. Unlucky for Peter, Drew was featured in all of the pictures and you looked like you were having the time of your life. Peter swallowed down his jealousy and got dressed to go to the party. He rehearsed his speech for you in his head as he made his way through the crowd. He finally found you in the kitchen in the arms of a girl he didn’t recognize. Your eyes lit up when you saw him and you tried to go towards him but immediately tripped over your over feet.

“Peter!” You cheered and threw your arms around him. The girl who had been holding you let go of your waist while Peter looked at her in confusion. You stumbled into Peter and had a hard time keeping yourself up straight

“You know her?” The girl asked Peter.

“Yeah. She’s my best friend. What’s going on? Who are you? And where’s draw?”

“I’m Serita. I found her all by herself. She seemed pretty upset.”

“Well if it isn’t Peter Peter pumpkin eater. He actually doesn’t even like pumpkin flavored things. He doesn’t like me either. He made that very clear.” You laughed and clapped Serita on the back. Serita looked at Peter in amusement but he was too focused on how drunk you were.

“Are you drunk?” Peter asked in shock.

“What? No.” You scoffed and nearly fell over.

“She’s wasted.” Serita told him. “I got her to drink some water by telling her it was a big shot of vodka.”

“I’m just here to feel the heat with somebody.” You said and held your hands up in defense.

“I’ve never seen you drink this much. What happened?” Peter asked you.

“Psh. I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” You denied the obvious with a wave of your hand. The action caused you to stumble again and you had to grip Peter’s shirt to keep from going down.

“You can’t even stand up straight. Where’s draw?” Peter asked again and looked around the room for your date.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I’m pretty sure he left with that pretty red headed girl from our statistics class sophmore year. With that teacher who had that cat with a silly name. Remember him? What was the cats name?”

“Kitty puss.” Peter reluctantly admitted.

“Kitty puss!” You cheered again and nearly dropped to the floor.

“I got you.” Peter said and tightened his grip on you. “But if he’s on on a date with you then why did he leave with another girl?”

“Because he didn’t get what he wanted from this girl?” You shrugged with a sad smile. Peter’s eyes darkened and he looked at Serita with a clenched jaw.

“What did he want?” He asked her.

“To get her drunk enough to lower her standards.” Serita stated. “That’s what he does to all the undergrad girls on this campus. Or at least, he tries to. Girls his age know better and stay away from him. But unfortunately for your best friend here, she didn’t know about his reputation.”

“Sterling Knight should have had a bigger career after Starstruck. He was funny and could sing. I never found him all that handsome but he had star power. He deserved more from Disney and I’ll die on that hill.” You interrupted their conversation to say.

“That’s nice, sweetie.” Peter smiled kindly at you before looking at Serita again. “I’m gonna take her to the bathroom and try to sober her up. Thanks for taking care of her. I’m glad she had a friend here.”

“Oh, I don’t know this girl. I just noticed she needed someone and stayed with her.” Serita explained. Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise before giving her a grateful smile.

“Oh. Well thanks for noticing. I got it from here.” He said before picking you up bridal style. You laughed gleefully and wrapped your arms around his neck, making Peter turn red again. Serita noticed this and stopped him.

“Hold on. How do I know I can trust you with her?” Serita asked. “What if you don’t even know her and you’re just trying to do what Drew was trying to do?”

“I promise I know her. Look. She’s my lock screen.” Peter said and showed Serita his lock screen which was a photo of the two of you.

“Best friend, huh?” Serita smirked.

“Please.” Peter whined. “I can’t hear it from you too. I’m an idiot and I know that. That’s the whole reason I’m here.”

“Well good luck. She’s been talking about “my Peter” all night.” Serita patted his back before walking away. Peter smiled at that before carrying you to the bathroom.

“Is this how Lady Gaga felt at the 2011 Grammys when they carried her in in that giant egg?” You asked as you rested your head on Peter’s shoulder.

“We will never know how Lady Gaga felt while being carried in a giant egg at the 2011 Grammys. You’re just being carried by your idiot friend to a disgusting frat bathroom that probably has salmonella and syphilis all over it.”

“Romantic.” You chuckled and held Peter tighter. He shut the bathroom door behind the two of you before gently putting you down on the countertop. He started rummaging through the medicine cabinet while you swung your legs.

“My tummy hurts.” You whined.

“I know. Take this.” Peter instructed and handed you Tylenol.

“Magic beans?”

“Tylenol. Drink this.” He chuckled and handed you back the cup of water from Serita. You chugged the water with the pills and wiped your mouth before giving Peter a sad smile.

“How do you feel? Do you need to puke?”

“No.” You shook your head. That action made you nauseous and you hopped off the counter to throw up into the toilet.

“I had a feeling that was gonna happen.” Peter mumbled.

“Don’t tell Kitty Puss about what a wreck I am.” You pleaded and threw up again.

“I won’t.” Peter laughed and held your hair back.

“I’m gonna die.” You whined and slumped against the bathtub. Peter sat down beside you and got the hair out of your face.

“You’re not gonna die.” He assured you. “You’re just gonna have really bad breath and carpet burn on your knees.”

“I hate carpet burn.” You said and started to cry. Peter had a feeling the tears weren’t just from the carpet burn so he wrapped his arms around you.

“It’s okay. Let it all out.” He said softly as he rubbed his hand on your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder for a minute before pulling away. He grabbed a tissue from the counter and wiped your tears for you.

“I’m sorry.” You said quietly as you stared down at your lap.

“What are you sorry for?”

“For going on this date.”

“No. I don’t want to hear that. You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Peter shook his head as he continued to dry your eyes. You pushed your hand away and held it so he would look at you.

“I do. I only went because I was mad at you. And I posted all those things because I wanted you to think I was having fun with another guy. But I wasn’t having fun. I was thinking about you the entire night.”

“Well you fooled me.” Peter chucked. “I thought you were halfway in love with this guy already. But why were you mad at me?”

“I heard you the other day. I heard you tell Ned you didn’t like me.” You admitted and gave him a sad smile.

“Oh, that’s not-“

“And it’s fine.” You cut him off. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you over that. It’s not your fault you don’t like me. We can’t help what we don’t feel.”

Peter stared into your eyes and saw a sadness he’d never seen you show before. You had sobered up a little but still weren’t completely there. He wanted to tell you how he felt, but he wanted you to be sober enough to remember it.

“So what happened to your date?” He changed the subject. You gave Peter a sad smile and shrugged your shoulders.

“He wasn’t much of a gentleman.” You admitted. Peters jaw clenched but he tried to remain calm for you same.

“Why do you say that?”

“I kept trying to talk to him and get to know him but all he wanted to do was get drunk. So I kept drinking whatever he handed me because I thought that would make me a more “fun” date.” You told him. You looked down at your dress and nervously fiddled with the hem of it. Peter stayed silent as he watched your eyes fill up with tears.

“I got all dressed up. I did my hair and my makeup. I tried to look pretty for him.” You said sadly. “But he didn’t even compliment me when he saw me. And he didn’t laugh at any of my jokes. I kept feeling like I was annoying him any time I asked him a question. But I was just trying to get to know him.“

“Well he’s crazy for not complimenting you. Because you look very pretty tonight.”

“Oh, please. My makeup’s running down my face and I probably have puke on my dress.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re still the prettiest girl in this room.” Peter told you.

“I’m the only girl in this room.” You reminded him and pointed to the bathroom wall.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re the prettiest girl in any room you’re in.” Peter stated. That brought a smile out of you and you slipped your hand into his.

“You’re sweet.” You smiled in appreciation and gave his hand a squeeze. Peter squeezed you back before getting the hair off your forehead. You leaned into his hand and looked into his eyes.

“What happened tonight?“ He asked quietly.

“Well, once I was drunk enough for Drew’s liking, he asked me to go up to one of the bedrooms with him. I went because I thought it was because he wanted a more private place to talk. I thought he wanted to hear what I had to say. Imagine that? Imagine your date being interesting in something you had to say? But he didn’t care about that. He didn’t want to talk.” You laughed sadly before looking down at the floor with a heavy sadness.

“What did he want?” Peter asked and braced himself. You looked up and met Peter’s eyes with a sad smile.

“You know what he wanted.” You said softly. Peter gulped and nodded his head so you wouldn’t have to relive it. You let out a sigh and wiped your tears on the back of your hand.

“He didn’t even kiss me.” You laughed sadly. “He just shut the door and tried to unzip my dress. I pushed him away and yelled at him, and then he got upset that I was upset so he left me in there. I was too drunk to go after him so I just sat there for a while in the dark. By the time I came back down to the party, he was already making out with another girl.”

“What’s this guys problem? He got to take the most incredible girl in this city on a date and he blows it in every way possible? He’d be lucky to talk to you, let alone go out on a date with you. How could he not see what a privilege he had just to be near you?” Peter said with genuine anger.

“Thanks, Pete.” You chuckled and felt slightly better about the night. Peter was about to go off more until he saw the look on your face. You didn’t need to hear Peter’s gripe right now. You needed comfort.

“Should we kill him?” Peter asked after a beat of silence.

“I think so. Serita told me he’s got a bit of a reputation for this kind of thing. I had no idea.”

“I can’t believe Ned was right and this guy really was insane.” Peter said, making you laugh.

“I know. I guess this means we should listen to him more.” You laughed. Peter smiled at you before scooping you up again and kicking the door open.

“Woah. Where are we going?” You asked as he carried you straight out of the party.

“On a real date.” He replied and you fell silent. He carried you all the way to his apartment building and swung up to the roof.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Peter said and he slipped out of his button down. He draped it over your shoulders to keep you warm before racing downstairs.

When he returned, he had a picnic blanket, his portable Death Star night light, a lunchables pizza, and two bottles of water. You smiled as he laid the picnic blanket down before patted the space beside him. You sat down and he wrapped a blanket from his bed around the both of you. You cracked open your water bottle and downed it while he put together the lunchables. He handed you one of the pizzas and you did cheers before silently eating them as the sun began to rise.

“Are you enjoying your meal, madam?” Peter looked away from the sunrise to ask you.

“Why, yes I am. This is one of the finer lunchables I’ve ever eaten. Compliments to the chef.” You played along.

“The chef thanks you kindly.” Peter replied and you both laughed.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you for a minute as you watched the sky become pink. Peter looked over at you and felt his heart ache over the way the sun was lighting up your face with a warm glow. You were holding your blanket tightly around your body to shield yourself from the morning air and had your eyes shut to let the night wash away from you. Peter knew in that moment he was in love and it could not be unspoken any longer.

“So, uh, remember when we were in the bathroom before and you said we should listen to Ned more?” Peter began.

“That doesn’t sound like something I would say. But I guess so. Why?” You wondered and looked over at him. Peter looked you in the eyes and gulped.

“Ned was actually right about a second thing.”

“Two things? Is he going for a personal record?” You laughed. When you saw that Peter wasn’t laughing, you stopped smiling.

“What is it, Pete? Something bad?”

“No. Not bad. Just, um, just a little clarification, I guess.” Peter began.

“Clarification about what?”

“I know you heard me telling Ned that I didn’t like you. And I know that it hurt your feelings. Which I totally understand why it would. It was overkill. But what you overheard the was my frustrated attempt to get Ned to stop insisting that I liked you.”

“Oh. Okay.” You said slowly and never took your eyes off him. Peter stared into your eyes for the last time before everything changed.

“And the only reason he keeps insisting that is because it’s true. He was trying to get me to tell you how I felt and I snapped at him because I was scared that if I ever did tell you how I felt, you wouldn’t feel the same.” Peter finished. You stared at him for a long time but Peter couldn’t read your expression. You were definitely pensive but he didn’t know if you were upset with him or relieved to know the truth. You turned your face back towards the sunrise and stared out at it.

“Hm.” You hummed.

“Hm? That’s all you have to say?” Peter asked nervously.

“Sorry. I was just thinking about that part in the movie Alien when the two main characters get directions from that school of fish and all the fish take the shape of an arrow to show them which way to go.” You said very seriously. Peter shook his head before cracking up laughing.

“Wow. Ned must be on a roll because hearing my own joke repeated back to me makes me realize how unfunny it was.” He admitted, making you laughing.

“I still laughed.” You shrugged. “Even if it wasn’t funny.”

“You did.” He realized with a smile.

“Probably because I like you so much.” You shrugged again and stopped looking at the sunrise to look at him. Peters smile grew and he reached over to hand your hand in his. All that pining and anticipation had led to that moment of you finally admitted how you felt about each other.

“Yeah.” He smiled. “Thats probably why.”

Tag list 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings

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[totallynotashieldagent]

falling for jason todd happens slowly and then all at once

it starts with lazy pre-patrol Friday evenings. he knows you don't have work in the morning so he stays for a snack before heading out.

it turns into "hey wanna watch a movie?" which turns into "I'm ordering food for us" and then you're lying on the couch at other ends but your feet are in his lap as top gun plays on the TV and he doesn't even realize he's doing it but he's rubbing the tension out of your heels.

it turns into "oh my office has a workshop for first aid happening" and you take it because you figure you should know how to patch him up after the bad nights

that turns into him showing up on a Tuesday night, which NEVER happens but he's on edge and he's anxious and he doesn't know what else to do and he just needs a hug and you do it.

you hold him until he stops shaking and he falls asleep on you like a weighted blanket.

maybe in hindsight, that is where it all started. waking up in a mess of limbs and untangling yourself, pushing him off until he falls on the ground and you laugh before leaving to get ready for work and... he doesn't leave. he's there when you come back in the evening because he just- he doesn't have an answer except, he didn't want to go.

you shrug and say you don't mind and you continue with your evening errands and chores and he orders food and during it all you realize how... domestic this all is.

it's a wednesday evening and he knows gotham is waiting for him but tonight...just tonight, he wasn't something calm, something normal.

the air is thick but neither of you address it. and he leaves eventually with unsaid words and confusion hanging in his mind.

the routine of friday night hangouts continue but every touch is more.. electric and neither of you say anything because you really do think that it's just in YOUR mind and the other doesn't feel that way at all.

it goes on for weeks and weeks until the tension gets so bad that you're snapping at each other for even breathing too loud but still you're in the same space because you can't handle the thought of being a part

it goes on for an embarrassing long time because even though the love is requited, you're both just fucking idiots

it goes on until a bad patrol night and he shows up with a bunch of knives sticking out of his back and instead of going to a safehouse or alfred, he's here. with you. and your hands are shaking because this surgery level shit and you took a BASIC aid workshop. you're crying silently as you do your best to fix him even with the Lazarus healing kicking in and you keep whispering to yourself "not yet not yet not like this not like this not before I can say-"

and everything just ...freezes

"Before what?" He rasps, his breath laboured and hard

"It's nothing-" You whisper and continue to bandage him

so he twists his back and looks at you, asking again.

"Before what?" His eyes are glowing green as his wounds are slowly starting to heal under your fingertips. "Please-" He strains. "Before what?"

"Before I can be brave enough-" You swallow, your shaking hands pressed against the bandage of his back

"Brave enough for...?" He whispers, his eyes darting across your face, memorizing every feature. Your eyes, your Cupid's bow, your parted lips-

"For this-" You finally take a leap and press your lips to his.

Drabble Master List.

[izels-writing]

j. potter — 5 times james showed you he loved you + the 1st time he said it

Pairing: james potter x childhood best friend!fem!reader

Summary: james is in love with you, as you are with him.

Warnings: longer than usual, FLUFFF, a bit specific (y/n have a big family and nut allergy), a break up (not james ), confession scene is bad but i feel that’s what childhood best friend love confession would look like😭, ALSO I USED A LITTLE DIALOGUE FROM GILMORE GIRLS AND B99 BC I JUST HAD TO OKAY IT WAS FUNNY

a/n: i tried so hard with this one, pls tell me if u like it! it’s a bit different than my usual writing

august 12th, 1969:

"what're you two doing?" euphemia potter asked, a small smile gracing her lips as she noticed you and james sat across each other on his bedroom floor.

you placed your piece down, grinning at james' utter disappointment as you took his piece in the process. he groaned.

"we're playing muggle chess," he told his mother. "and y/n's beating me!"

you smiled. "i told him it wasn't as easy as he thought!" you countered, noticing euphemia's chuckle.

"well, it's getting late you two," she said. "i don't suppose you two expect to be up until the wee hours playing this game," though she tried to be stern, you and james knew how incapable she was when it came to the two of you.

"mum! we're nine now! can't we just have a little bit longer? nine o'clock it too early," james complained. "how about ten thirty?"

euphemia crossed her arms in thought. "how about ten o'clock?"

"ten-twenty," james countered.

"ten-fifteen," euphemia concluded, "take it or leave it,"

"we'll take it!" you exclaimed. james nodded in agreement, though, he always agreed with whatever you said.

you supposed that was part of the best friends thing.

you and james had been best friends since you were five years old, when your parents inherited the house next door to his—which was a blessing given the large family you had. three brothers, two sisters, and you—making a total of six kids. your three bedroom apartment wasn't cutting it anymore at that point.

so, to escape your loud and obnoxious family, you often spent all of your time at the potters. it helped that you and james didn't go to school, given euphemia taught you at home. out of all of your siblings, only you and two of your brothers had inherited magic. whereas the rest of them had to attend muggle school, you, james, and your two brothers were homeschooled by euphemia.

and everyone knew since the day you moved in, you and james were inseparable.

"alright then, either of you fancy a snack?" euphemia asked. "i don't want either of you eating too late,"

"no, thank you, mrs. potter," you replied with a small smile.

"yeah, we're okay mum, thank you," james added.

"of course," euphemia grinned. she eerily looked like a girl version of james when she did grinned, you supposed that's why you found her so comforting. "and y/n, dear, how many times have i told you to call me mia?"

you smiled sheepishly. "i'm sorry, i can't,"

and truthfully, as much as you tried, it felt way to disrespectful to call her by her name and not mrs. potter.

"yeah," james snickered, "she's got this weird compulsion where she has to be perfect and respectful all the time," james taunted.

"shut up," you laughed, shoving james gently.

"alright, well, ten-fifteen...alright?" she looked at you both warningly.

"yes ma'am," you and james chorused, but as soon as she left, you two burst into a fit of laughter.

even if lights were out by ten-fifteen, you two would still be awake all hours of the night laughing and talking about seemingly nothing.

you let him play his turn, smiling as he made a rookie mistake. you quickly showed him how bad his mistake was.

"y/n!" he groaned.

"face it, potter," you sighed. "i'm just better..."

he rolled his eyes and shoved the pillow in his lap at your face. you, being you, caught it with a laugh and threw it aside. analyzing the board as he went to make his next move.

he'd never admit he let you win just so he could see the smile on your face when you did.

——

march 15th, 1996:

"stop painting her nails and help me find an outfit!" sirius exclaimed. "moony won't wait forever!"

james looked up from your hand as you both turned to look at sirius. though he'd never admit it aloud, james loved painting your nails ever since you forced him to do it the first time because your hands were too shaky.

"red shirt, leather jacket, and..." you squinted before turning to james to let him decide what pants your lovesick friend should wear.

"black jeans," he decided. you nodded in agreement.

"thank you, mr. and mrs. potter," sirius sighed, pulling out the exact clothes you two had picked out. "finally you pay attention to me,"

his nickname for you both made you shift slightly, as it always did. not that either of them noticed.

"don't be dramatic, sirius," you replied, rolling your eyes. "painting nails is tedious work,"

"you're tedious work," sirius grumbled, quickly changing. the boys had no qualms changing in front of you despite the fact that you were a girl, they'd known you as long as they'd known james—given you were a package deal when you got to hogwarts.

"how are you two planning to spend the afternoon?" he asked, making conversation as he finished up his eyeliner.

"napping," you replied. you had pulled the longest study session ever last night, and still had to wake up in time for classes. to say you were tired was an understatement.

james didn't like naps as much as you, but he laid with you until you fell asleep because he was so warm. you practically forced him to.

"cuddle session?" sirius asked, ruffling his hair in style.

"that's the one," james replied, finishing your last nail.

"it never ceases to amaze me how close you two are without being in love," sirius chuckled before slipping on his shoes. "anyway, bye...don't wait up for me and moony," he winked before closing the door behind him.

he wasn't entirely truthful. sirius knew about your long haboured crush in james since your third year of hogwarts. at first, you were convinced it was just teen hormones and it'd wear off.

it did not.

if anything, it got worse ever since then. you couldn't be near the boy without smiling and you certainly spent most of your time with him if not with mary or the other boys you two had befriended. he just understood you, he was your person.

the worst part was that you knew he didn't feel the same. you'd known since your first year about his undying love for lily evans, which had progressed so much more over the years.

you supposed you'd get over it eventually.

you scoffed. "look at him, flaunting what we don't have—remus,"

"i know, the utter torture knowing remus will never be ours," he sighed sarcastically. you laughed,

he lied down, arm behind his head which flexed all the right muscles. meanwhile you blew at your nails to make them dry faster. you marveled at the beautiful pink color, perfectly done by your best friend.

"you can take the girl out of the muggle world, but not the muggle world out of the girl," james teased before grabbing his wand and waving it wordlessly. in an instant, your nails were fully dry.

you scoffed. "please, you love the muggle world,"

he grinned. "yeah, i do," he shrugged.

you lied beside him, curling up into him to wrap your arms around his waist and your legs around his hips. it wasn't always the most comfortable position for him, but he put up with it for you, unbeknownst to you. you lied your head on his shoulder, breathing in his aromatic cologne.

you never understood why you tortured yourself like this. you knew these moments would just make you fall harder for him, but you couldn't help yourself. even if he'd never be your boyfriend, at least you had him in your life.

"alright, see you in two hours," you mumbled, adjusting your head comfortably.

"i'll be here," he sighed in fake annoyance. "waiting..."

"shut up," you muttered sleepily.

a few movements later, he smiled softly as you began to snore quietly. he kissed your head ever so softly, as to not wake you, pushing hair out of your face.

he really did hate naps.

but not the ones with you.

——

september 22nd, 1974:

the five of you sat in the greats hall, piling your plates as everyone chattered during their dinner. you laughed at whatever sirius said, waiting for remus to let go of the spoon for the macaroni bowl.

"pads, wipe your mouth," james scolded, handing the friend in question a cloth. sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed it, wiping his mouth aggressively.

"happy?" the grey-eyed got asked in feign annoyance.

you laughed as james rolled his eyes and nodded.

"y/n, do you want some?" peter asked, showing you a plate of fruit bars with nuts in it.

"do you want her to die?!" james exclaimed, though it was drowned out by the loudness of the great hall.

you, sirius, and remus exchanged looks. james took all of you guys' allergies seriously, but for some reason, with yours he became scandalized. you took a deep breath, sending an apologetic look toward peter.

james scoffed. "does she look like snivellus to you?"

peter blinked at him.

"does she?" james demanded. the four of you didn't know whether he was genuinely being serious.

"no...?" peter replied.

"then why are you trying to poison her?!" he snapped.

peter sighed, remembering your allergy suddenly. "i'm sorry, y/n," he said. "i forgot,"

"it's okay," you replied with a small smile.

james glared at peter.

"what?!" peter exclaimed. "i said sorry! it's not like i shoved it down her throat!"

"shame on you, wormy," he shook his head.

"james, believe it or not," you said. "i'm a big girl, i can just tell peter no when he offers,"

"it's about principle, y/n!" he replied.

"and you call yourself one of her best friends," james scoffed, shaking his head at peter again.

"james, if you don't stop, i'll put normal milk in your cereal, you lactose-intolerant freak," peter threatened.

remus sighed. "one peaceful dinner, it's all i ask," he grumbled. sirius rubbed his arm comfortingly.

you laughed loudly, making the other four turn to you. quickly, the rest of them broke and laughter filled the table. quickly, remus, sirius, and peter resumed their own conversation—leaving you to talk to james.

"thanks for remembering, it's very kind of you," you admitted to him lowly. "even though you're such a drama queen about it," you taunted.

"of course, i actually know you," he whispered back. "not like these posers,"

you laughed, shoving him playfully. "you're such a loser,"

"takes one to know one," he fired back.

you rolled your eyes and joined in the conversation in front of you, grabbing a cookie and breaking it in half. without breaking your conversation, you handed one half to james and began to eat the other.

he smiled at you and ate his half.

of course he remembered everything about you. how could he not? you were going to be in his life for the rest of it. that he was sure of.

——

june 12th, 1975:

you sniffled, wiping your nose on a tissue as you went through your various polaroids. your boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, had broken up with you a couple hours ago. as much as you tried not to cry over a boy, especially one that wasn't your best friend, you couldn't help but feel hurt nonetheless.

you liked him. and he just made a bet to date you for five months.

mary, marlene, emmeline, and lily had tried to comfort you but to no avail. you asked them to leave you be and they complied, silently agreeing to get the one person who they all knew could comfort you.

you held back a sob, cutting up the pictures and discarding them in the dorm trash. god, you felt pathetic. he wasn't worth it. but it still hurt.

a knock at the door caught your attention.

"come in," you sniffled, thinking it was one of the girls trying to get to your shared room that you selfishly kicked them out of. you hated crying in front of people.

a tall, lean raven-headed boy entered the room. he held a box of tissues and a buttload of snacks. he set everything down on your desk, eyes scanning you sadly.

"he dated me on a bet, james," you sniffled as your voice wavered slightly. "he broke up with me this morning,"

you met his eyes, seeing how worried he looked, and got shoved your face into your hands—a quiet sob escaping your lips, muffled by your hands.

"i'm so sorry, love," he mumbled, sitting in front of you to pull you into a hug. you hugged him back tightly, crying quietly into his shoulder. you felt terrible for his tear-stained shoulder, but the tears wouldn't stop.

you just felt so pathetic and used. how could you fall for it so easily? but you suppose if there was anyone you could be vulnerable with, it was your best friend in the entire world.

"why didn't he like me?" you mumbled tearfully.

"because he's an idiot," james replied, holding you tightly. "because he doesn't know what a great girl is even if it slapped him in the face,"

you let go. "how could i be so stupid? i mean i should've known! in all my five years at hogwarts, no boy has ever asked me out... i should've trusted my gut," you shook your head disappointedly.

"you're not stupid," james assured you. "he is, don't get it twisted. you liked him, there's nothing wrong with that, he just happened to be a prat,"

you frowned. "i suppose. but i mean i should've known..."

james cupped your face, looking into your eyes. "listen to me, y/n," he said seriously. "you are the most beautiful girl i know, you're smart and kind and funny and understanding...i could go on and on. he lost a great girl and he will pay for it for the rest of his life, do not feel pathetic and upset over some stupid bloke—got me?"

you let a smile grace your face. "you think i'm beautiful?"

he huffed and let go of your face, though you could see his playful expression. "is that really the only thing you got from that?"

you shook your head. "no, i heard you loud and clear," you admitted with a small smile. "thank you, j, you're the ultimate best friend,"

he grinned. "i know, it's a talent,"

you rolled your eyes. without you having to say anything, he grabbed the snacks and began to open them up for you, the both of you beginning to eat from the packages of snacks.

"am i more beautiful than farrah fawcett?" you asked teasingly.

"don't push your luck," he huffed.

you let out a melodic laugh and instantly, a smile spread across james' face. that's all he wanted, was to make you laugh.

the very next week, your ex boyfriend ended up in the hospital wing after a few humiliating yet harmless hexes being cast on him. unfortunately, all four marauders received detention for something they had very obviously done.

james didn't care. he'd go through millions of detentions if it meant protecting you.

——

may 27th, 1976:

a thousand used tissues and a finished vial of cold medicine later, you had only gotten through the first five chapters of your potions book. despite your efforts, you hadn’t made much progress in the years worth of material you were set to cover. exams were in two weeks and you were much more behind than you had realized. you had no time to recover, not when o.w.l’s determined what classes you received next year.

your eyes drooped as you turned the page, leaning your head in your hand tiredly. you weren’t even sure you were retaining anything anymore, just studying so you could say you had done it.

lily and mary had left you some time ago, tired themselves. they had begged you and pleaded for you to join them in your dorm, so you could sleep off the medicine. you were the only one sick—just your luck.

you refused and moreover, begun to ignore them. they didn’t take it personally, they knew how you could get around exam time. they muttered that they’d come back to check on you soon. that had been four hours ago, and you were happy that they seemingly weren’t going to come back any time soon.

a loud clatter across the library made you sit up from your medicine-potion-induced trance. your eyes opened wider, scanning the dark library for any movement. madam pince had left two hours ago, given the library had closed and she had no idea you were back here.

“hello?” you whispered, mentally cursing yourself for the stupid mistake. if there was someone here, like a teacher, you surely had just given yourself away.

thankfully for you, it wasn’t a teacher or staff member. instead, it was your best friend.

“y/n? what’re you doing here? it’s twelve-a.m.!” james whispered loudly, moving the books that had blocked your view effortlessly. he kneeled by you on the chair, your body relaxing as you realized it was him.

“baking a cake,” you replied sarcastically. “what does it look like i’m doing, potter?”

“first of all, you know last names hurt me,” james replied. “secondly, you look like shit,”

he felt your forehead. “and you feel like shit,”

“wow, you sure know how to charm a lady, james,” you replied with a playfully eye roll. “don’t worry, i’m on my way back to the dorms, just twenty more minutes,”

james gave you a deadpan look. “mary and lily told me you said that four hours ago,”

so that’s who revealed your location. the traitors.

“james, i have to study! i can’t just not pass my potions o.w.l’s?” you replied.

james sat on the chair diagonal to you, looking at your very obviously sick form. it had to be some strain of the summer flu, given remus had gotten it just a week prior.

“to quote my mother, you have to sleep—it’s what keeps you beautiful,” he tried persuasively. you were not nothing if not vain.

you scoffed. “who’s gonna cares about beauty if i fail my finals?!”

“your future husband?” james tried.

“i won’t be marrying anyone that vain,” you concluded.

“that should make me feel better,” he replied. “but you working yourself to death does not,”

“okay, you can study for twenty more minutes,” he sighed after a moment of you staring at each other. “i’ll go make you a tea and wait with you to make sure you actually come to bed,”

you rolled your eyes and waved him off, returning to your potions textbook in no time. james quickly ambled out of the library and made his way to the kitchen.

thankfully for him, filch was on leave for a few days, not that anyone knew that. he had walked into a particularly nasty prank by james and sirius, leaving him stuck in the hospital wing for a few days. all the staff elected to not tell students, in hopes it’d scare them into not sneaking out at night.

james quickly made his way back to the kitchen, asked the house elves for a tea, and began making his way back. it was in a tiny coffee to go cup—why the house elves had them, james had no idea, but it certainly made his life easier.

he couldn’t have been gone more than a ten minutes, but as james got back, he quickly noticed the angle of the light from your wand was not the same as it had been when he left. james quietly made his way over and smiled warmly at the sight.

there you were, head lying on the table, hands tucked into your sweatshirt in attempts to be warm. you were sound asleep, the potion having finally caught up to you. granted, james was just glad the amount you had drank hadn’t killed you—as he was sure it wasn’t safe at all to finish a vial in one day.

he walked over and summoned a blanket with the flick of his wand, allowing for his hand to catch it immediately. he placed the tea down on the table. then, he pushed the hair out of your face and draped the cover over you, kissing your head gently as he had felt you do to him so many times.

he wrapped it around you and with one swift motion, he wrapped an arm around your knees and another around your neck—cradling you close to his chest. you woke for a moment, brief and unaware, to wrap your arms around his neck. he tried to fight the nerves that twisted in his stomach at your touch.

and all the way from the library to the common room, james held you tight and carried you all the way back, careful not to wake you. you were burning up, but other than that, you looked comfortable. much more comfortable than before.

the fat lady, without a word, swung open when she saw james and he safely brought you inside—laying you down on the couch. you stirred a bit and looked up at him through half-lidded eyes.

“thanks, j,” you whispered.

“of course,” he grinned, sitting beside you, moving your legs on his lap. “now get some sleep, i’ll wait here with you,”

“you’re a good best friend,” you mumbled through a yawn.

james smiled and kissed his fingers, gently placing them on your head. you smiled happily and fell asleep in no time.

he only wished that one day he’d be more than just your best friend.

——

october 11th, 1977:

you sat in front of james on his bed, finishing up an essay you two had worked on together. the entire day, no—the entire week, he’d been acting strange. james was usually strange, but not this strange. he had been gentler and his face would burn up whenever sirius mentioned his little nickname for both of you.

it was beginning to scare you. what if he was becoming uncomfortable with the jokes? the nicknames? what if he had a girlfriend and he didn’t know how to tell you that your relationship with each other would have to change? how would you even react to that?

you looked up at him, noticing the boy wringing his hands. despite this, you said nothing. maybe you could live in denial just a little longer.

“i have something to tell you,” james spoke suddenly.

you looked up, eying him carefully. “what’s up, j?”

james’ face flushed a light pink as he looked up at you sincerely. he swallowed thickly. for a moment, he stared at you. you both just looked into each others eyes and you were unsure what to do next. he’d never been this serious with you.

“you alrig—“

“i love you,” he blurted. “as more than a best friend,”

you would like to say that what you did next was completely intentional, but it wasn’t. as a matter of fact, you weren’t quite sure where it came from.

THUD!

you covered your mouth, looking in shock as james landed on the ground. he wasn’t terribly hurt, just shocked. you were shocked as well.

“that is…not what i expected,” james muttered, standing up and sitting in front of you again.

“what was that for?” he asked.

“i dunno…” you mumbled. “i panicked, i didn’t know what to say…”

james softened his gaze at you and a smile curled onto his lips. soon enough, you began to smile too. and then you both burst into laughter. after you both sobered up, you smiled at him.

“i love you too, as more than a best friend,” you finally replied. it felt like a weight lifted off your shoulders—you finally confesses your biggest secret to james. “just so you know,”

he smiled. “i’m glad to hear that,”

“wow, what a loser,” you commented playfully. “usually this is the scene where the guy kisses the girl,”

he grinned. “really? sort of like this?”

he pulled you in, your lips touching quickly. if this is what heaven felt like, you understood why everyone wanted to go so bad. you pulled him closer, refusing to break the kiss.

you broke apart finally. “yeah…like that,” you grinned.

“will you…?” james stumbled on his words.

you grinned, knowing him perfectly enough to know exactly what he’s asking. “yes, james, i will be your girlfriend,” you replied happily.

he smiled, pulling you in again.

he’d finally confessed it.

bonus;

“what’re you two doing?” you grinned, leaning against the doorway of your son harry’s room.

he threw down a card, glaring at ginny as she placed down her own card with a smirk.

“we’re playing uno,” ginny replied with a smile. “ron didn’t want to play so harry and i decided to go against each other,”

“how is it a muggle game and she’s beating me?! she’s never even played before!” harry exclaimed.

“you underestimate weasley’s,” ginny grinned. “we’re not as ignorant as you think,”

“well, it’s getting late you two,” you commented, glancing at the clock in harry’s room. “i don’t suppose you two plan on playing until the wee hours,”

“mum! we’re thirteen now!” harry groaned. “we can stay up a little later than nine-thirty, right?”

ginny nodded and shrugged. “i mean i’m twelve, but still…”

you sighed in feign annoyance. “fine, ten-fifteen, and then ginny will go sleep in your sisters room and you and ron will have to go to bed—sound good, you two?”

“but—“ harry began.

you smirked. your son—ever the clone of james potter, your husband. “let me rephrase, ten-fifteen, take it or leave it,”

“we’ll take it!” ginny replied quickly.

“yeah, we will,” harry smiled, glancing at ginny with a little glint in his eyes. you and james knew full well the future of harry and ginny’s relationship, even if no one else did.

“good, ten-fifteen,” you said warningly before making your way downstairs.

james lounged on the couch, clicking through tv channels. you curled up beside him.

“they’re doing the thing,” you commented, knowing james would know exactly what you meant.

“remember when we were that young and in love?” james grinned.

“aren’t we still young and in love?” you teased.

“not that young anymore, but in love? yes,” he replied with a smirk. you rolled your eyes and kissed his cheek, wrapping your arms around his chest and draping your legs across his lap.

“i’m glad it’s ginny, she’s a bold little lady,” your husband grinned. “just the other day, she defended your son against this kid at the little league quidditch try-outs, even punched his nose,”

“i know, harry came home and told me all about it,” you grinned. “all impressed and admiring, even ron saw how in love he looked,”

“well, we potter men love ballsy ladies,” james joked.

you rolled your eyes. “don’t i know it…”

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 12

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Things hadn't gotten much better with James, and you knew you could only go so long without talking to him—after all, he was still your best friend. But, considering all that'd happened, along with some encouragement from your friends, you knew the time had come to finally admit you wanted more than that.

wc [6.2k]

a/n: alr guys ... very happy and also sad to say this is the last chapter of it's always been you!! :( i've loved every minute of writing this series as well as sharing it (its become my baby atp), and it is definitely because of all the love and support everyone reading has given it. thank u to everyone stuck around to this point, & i hope u guys enjoy this last chapter!! i send all my hugs and kisses <3 - e

all chapters | <- Chapter 11

It'd been another hour or two until everyone had fully returned from Hogsmeade and dinner was being served in the Great Hall. You finally changed out of your dress and into your everyday clothing again, already feeling better, but that didn't mean you felt good. You didn't think you could feel good when both your brain and heart were hurting like they were. And worst of all, the one person you'd go to in times like these for comfort was the same person you couldn't go to. Not now.

The girls had been doing their best to get your mind off of everything that had happened that day, aside from when Marlene profusely apologized to you for letting Potter hear her outburst in the common room.

"Although, I have to say," she admitted afterward. "I'm not completely sorry for him that he had to hear it. I may be brutal but I never tell a lie."

That fact didn't leave you as you sat with her and Lily in the Great Hall for dinner, a number of seats away from the other Marauders. You recognized with a skip in your heartbeat that James was with them, surprisingly enough since you knew how he was accustomed to skipping meals in the dining hall when he wanted to be alone, a habit you both unfortunately shared. But that didn't mean he was enjoying himself either.

You could see even from your seat down the table that he wasn't saying much, mostly keeping to himself quietly, something so out of character for him yet you'd seen him do it constantly the entire week. You wanted to yell at him and shake him silly, but you also wanted to hug him. When you caught yourself in the midst of those thoughts you turned back to your own spot at the table shamefully.

You tried to force yourself to eat, catching your friends' concerned looks at your full plate, but you didn't feel much like it. Especially not when you still felt maybe a dozen pairs of eyes on you from every corner of the Great Hall.

Even with all that'd happened since just that morning, the rumors and whatever else people had come up with to talk about had not yet been forgotten about by the school like your friends said it would be. Then you thought about whether news had spread of your disastrous date in Hogsmeade, and prayed that nobody had caught wind of that incident either. You didn't think you could handle any more of the staring.

Immediately after you had that thought, you spotted a fifth-year in Ravenclaw robes walking past your table, watching as he blatantly pointed at you as he spoke to his friend, and you looked down at your plate with hardened eyes.

You heard Marlene scoff from next to you. "Hey!" she called to the boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?"

The fifth-year didn't respond to her but looked to his friend, hurriedly taking a seat at his own table, his whispers being drowned out in the loudness of the dining hall.

Marlene fumed from next to you. "I can't believe these people. Are they really that bored with their own lives that they're so obsessed with a bloody rumor?"

You shook your head toying with your fork. "Just ignore them. That's what I've settled on doing."

She sighed from beside you and you thought that'd be the end of everything, until you heard gasps from down the table. You looked up and followed the sounds and were met with a sight not even the magic of Hogwarts could've prepared you for.

James—your James—had stood up on the bench he'd once been sitting in, and you thanked Merlin he wasn't standing fully on the table; though you had absolutely no idea what he could possibly be up to, you knew it couldn't be anything good. He cupped a hand to his mouth as your heartrate picked up.

"Can I have everyone's attention?"

He didn't have to ask twice for it. His voice boomed out loudly, something that seemed to come naturally to him, and the noise in the Great Hall had died out in a mere second until it was almost completely silent—quiet enough for you to hear the beating of your heart in your chest as you looked up at him. Your throat went dry.

"Not that it's any of anyone's business," he started confidently to the hundreds of eyes now looking at him, tone nothing but sober. "But nothing happened in the broom closet. Or in the locker room."

You felt the churning in your stomach claw up into your throat, then felt it drop back down, keeping you stationed in your seat. He didn't give much context to his declaration, but with the popularity of the topic amongst the school, it didn't seem like he needed to. His voice almost seemed to echo, all other noises drowning out as everyone stared up at him. James looked around the entire room appearing completely unafraid and you didn't know how the hell he did it; you probably looked more fearful than him.

"So," he began again, "I don't want to see or hear anyone talking about those rumors any longer. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me. Alright?"

Of course, nobody said anything then, but you could see in their eyes that they were going to listen to him. Or at least, they'd make sure they didn't get caught going against him. Maybe it was from his impenetrably confident voice or his respected status around the school, you weren't sure, but he had that unique effect on people in an almost effortless way.

When it was clear he'd gotten his point across, he scanned his eyes over the sea of students until they found yours. In a dizzying way, it felt like you were the only two in the room for a moment, as cliché as the thought sounded in your head.

You didn't know what had motivated him to do what he did, but you could see in his eyes something fragile that juxtaposed the self-assured look they'd had only seconds ago. He looked away again and stepped back down to floor level once more, not taking a moment before striding out of the Great Hall, his form disappearing seconds after.

Even without his physical presence, his action seemed to linger over the room for a moment more before chatter broke out once again. You were still frozen in place, not knowing if moving would finalize the idea that whatever just happened was real and not just part of some wild dream.

Marlene had confirmed that it definitely had happened, however, when she turned to you with her jaw dropped, an amazed but delighted sparkle in her eye. "Someone tell me you saw that too."

"Oh we saw it," rang Lily, who also looked much too happy about that fact, probably just relieved James's antics weren't centered on her for once. You could see them both staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to react. You could also see the boys in your peripheral, the three of them remaining at the table searching your face for a reaction.

Yet, all you could do was stand up and walk hurriedly towards the exit. Dozens of conversations rushed past your ears as you did, a blur of remarks ranging from "Potter's lost it" to "He's so bloody fit." Whatever they were saying, you noted with gratefulness in the back of your mind that none of the conversations were about you.

You reached the doorway and stopped once you were a safe distance away in the hallway, heaving breaths in for a moment to yourself before finding that you weren't alone. All of your friends had followed you without blinking an eye, and you didn't know whether you found it endearing or inconvenient. Though, to be fair, you didn't know where you were going. You just knew you couldn't sit there and pretend as if nothing had happened.

You blinked at the three boys who neared you with puzzled looks on each of their faces. "Did you guys know anything about this?"

"No," promised Sirius. "In fact, James has hardly said anything to us since this morning."

You shook your head to yourself, feeling breathless. "I can't ... believe he would do that."

"Really?" Lily stared at you. "I mean, it's Potter we're talking about. It's exactly something he would do."

You couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips even as you shook your head. You ran a hand over your hair as the blonde from next to you hit you in the shoulder.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" You frowned over at her as she stared at you expectantly. "Go to him."

You stilled, gaping at her. "What?"

"Go to him. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

You tipped your head at her like it would help you understand her better, parting your drying lips. "I thought you said he was a selfish git." You heard Remus snort from beside you.

"I did, sure," reasoned Marlene, not without a hint of pride. "But only because I thought he was ruining your chances of moving on now that you were over him. But seriously, I can see your face when you look at him." She shook her head. "That's not the look of someone who wants to move on."

Your eyes flickered over her face as she spoke, an infinite number of thoughts overtaking you. In the silence of your thinking, a Hufflepuff boy walked past the six of you in the hallway, staring all the while.

"What are you looking at?" snapped Marlene, turning to him without missing a beat. "Did you not just hear Potter?"

Like he'd heard him loud and clear, and also like he was scared of Marlene, he hurried away with his head bent forward. Satisfied, the blonde turned back to you. At your conflicted expression, she asked, "Well?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "It's just that," you began, not even knowing where you were going with your rambling. "I've spent so long trying to get over him. It's not fair to myself to just forget all of that, and it definitely wasn't fair to Sebastian-"

"For Merlin's sake," cut in Lily, to your surprise. "You keep talking about what's fair and what's unfair, but what about you? What do you want?"

You stared at her, beginning to feel breathless under the eyes of all your friends. "It's not just about what I want. It's not that simple."

"But what if it is?" she questioned. "I know how difficult this has all been for you. And I know you said Potter doesn't just get to realize his feelings for you and suddenly be with you, that it doesn't work like that. But what if it does?" She raised her hands at her sides. "Not everything is a perfect story to tell. Especially not when it comes to you two. It's not every day you fall in love with your best friend and he finally sees that he's fallen for you too. Are you seriously going to let him go because of some made-up system of rules?"

Your breath was becoming staggering now, and you didn't know what to think, because everything they were telling you sounded so right.

"I don't know," you began unsurely. "Of course, I don't want to lose him. Not talking to him for the past week has been harder than I ever could've imagined. I don't even know what it would feel like to have to do it for longer than I already have been." You blinked down at your shoes, truly realizing those things at the same rate you said them. "I think I just ... miss him."

"Of course you miss him." Marlene looked at you sympathetically. "That's why I think you should go tell all this to him."

You felt bile rising in your throat. "I don't even know if he'd want to see me after all we've said to each other."

"Are you joking?" Remus butted in exasperatedly. "Prongs is bloody in love with you. Can't you see that?"

"Remus," you warned softly because you didn't know how much more of this hope you could take before you did something you'd regret.

"I'm telling the truth." His voice was heavy with meaning. "Maybe it took him a while to realize it himself, but the rest of us have had to sit back and watch you both act like you don't have feelings for each other for years. Believe me, the only reason he's in his room right now and not with you is because he thinks that's what you want."

Your brows pinched. "You can't truly know that."

"Really?" he laughed. "What do you think we talked about that night Vance asked you out?"

Your expression faltered and you forced yourself to think back to the night James had begun acting distant from you, though it wasn't difficult to, the storyline of it all clicking into place in your head.

"You," breathed Remus. "We talked about you."

"Not to mention," Sirius added, "we're the ones who've had to spend every night in our dorm listening to him bitch and moan about Vance this and Vance that." You swallowed at your friends' words, but they didn't quit.

"And we know James was being a right idiot today," Sirius insisted honestly. "But you should've seen him this morning right after you two argued. He was heartbroken. More than he'd ever been over Evans." He turned to the redhead in question. "No offense, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "Trust me, Black, none taken."

He nodded and turned back to you swiftly. "So for you to think that James would want anything other than to fix things with you and just be with you is bloody mental."

You stared at all of your friends who were looking so determinedly back at you that you didn't think you could tell them 'no' now. But still, your feet didn't budge.

"It's not just that," you almost whispered. "I guess I'm just ... scared. What if it goes wrong and we get into some ridiculous fight again? What then?"

Marlene took a hold of your shoulders, slightly scaring you in her resoluteness. "Potter just stood up and yelled at the entire bloody school and you're trying to tell us you'rescared?" She shook you a little, and your friends smirked from behind her. "Be a Gryffindor for Godric's sake! Go to him!"

Before you could say anything more, she was turning you around and shoving you a little until you had the momentum you needed to take steps toward the Gryffindor common room. You made it all the way up the nearest set of steps before you paused, turning back to your friends with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, you guys." You expected them to share the sweet moment with you, but they only rolled their eyes.

"Go, woman!" Sirius groaned, and you rolled your eyes back at them, but it lacked any real annoyance.

You didn't know exactly what you were planning on doing, but you didn't have time to think about it because your legs were carrying you speedily through the halls in your anxious state and wouldn't let you stop until you reached the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Taking a steadying breath in, you said the password and entered the room.

With everyone else still being at dinner in the Great Hall, it wasn't exactly difficult to find James. He sat in the common room, his brunette head of curls visible to you in the low light. They covered the majority of his face that you could see, his head tipped downwards with his elbows resting on his knees. That changed within the blink of an eye as you entered the room, his head swiftly lifting until he locked eyes with you, and you had to fight a shiver at the feeling it sent shuddering through you.

He seemed to think you were just going to go to your own dorm and ignore him, and he averted his eyes to look somewhere else, maybe the fireplace, until you left—but you didn't. You only walked closer to him until you were separated by only one of the couches, the distance still small enough to make your breathing quicken.

At the soundlessness of your stilled footsteps, James looked back up and met your eyes again, and he swallowed. Clearly, he hadn't expected you to make any move to talk to him that night, even after the scene he'd made in the Great Hall. The problem was that you hadn't expected yourself to either, and now you didn't know what you wanted to say first, because there were certainly a million things you had to make sure he knew.

"Thank you," you said, because you figured it was a good place to start. He nodded up at you, his eyes not revealing much of anything, but you didn't let that sway you. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Of course I did." His voice was stubborn, but too sincere for how little his expression gave away.

You looked down at your feet, letting a moment pass before speaking again. "Well, now it seems like everyone is going to be talking about you from now on."

"That doesn't matter to me." James's voice cut through the air richly, and when you looked back up from the floor he was staring at you meaningfully. "They can say whatever the hell they want. As long as they're not talking about you."

Your shoulders dropped at his words, and the way he held your eyes as he said them made your heart beat faster in your chest. It hadn't even been a full day since you'd last spoken to him, but you already missed him.

"They wouldn't leave you alone," he said concretely, his tone beginning to fill with emotion. "And then, I heard what Marlene said in the common room, about some girl harassing you in the library? I-" he shook his head frustratedly, rubbing at his forehead with one of his hands. "I'm just mad at myself that I've let it go on for this long. Or that I didn't even know that happened."

You already felt too emotional for your liking, the feelings inside of you swirling more aggressively at every word he said to you. "It's not like it's your fault, James."

"Well it's not like I did much to stop it, did I?" He seemed genuinely angry at himself now, and you didn't know what you could do to help. A painful lump was rising in your throat, but you stayed rooted in your spot behind the sofa. "And I'd ask you why you didn't come and tell me, but that'd be a bloody stupid question."

He shook his head, eyes becoming wistful like he was recalling a memory, one that pained him. "Earlier, when Marlene was defending you in the common room, the look on your face was ... I don't know. Crushed. Sad."

You swallowed at the memory, because that had been exactly how you were feeling, amongst thousands of other ways. James looked down at his lap.

"I just wanted to try and help, do anything to make that look on your face go away, but I couldn't. So I just kept replaying how you looked in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated myself because I realized you were only hurting because of me. And that was the worst part. Realizing that it was all my fault."

You felt yourself wanting to take a step towards him, wanting to just reach out to him as the tips of your fingers teemed with the longing you felt in your chest. "James," you began, your voice hushed. "It's not all your fault."

You meant it. To try and say to yourself that you had no part in all the confusion between the two of you would be a blatant lie, one that you couldn't let James go on believing, especially not with the pained look on his face.

He only shook his head at you. "It is," he insisted. "And here you go, being perfect towards me when I don't deserve it." A muscle worked overtime in his jaw. "Marlene was right. I was being selfish, and petty, and a lot of other things, but most importantly, I wasn't being a good friend." He paused, a grieving confliction tugging at his brow. "That's ... that's not what friends do."

You went still then too, the word 'friend' hanging in the air between you with a weight that only made you tired. The truth was that cobwebs had grown in the house where you'd fostered that unforgiving title, and it felt like some intangible force had locked you both inside with it blindly.

"Yeah, well," you began, your voice small, "we've been doing plenty of things that friends don't do, lately.Like you said, we kissed, right?" You let out a breathy sound like a laugh that lacked any joy, and the way James's eyes flickered up at you knocked the rest of the air right out of you.

"About that," he began hesitantly, and you could tell he was thinking about both the night it'd happened and that morning when you'd fought, just like you were. "I know you don't want that to mean anything, so it- ... it doesn't have to. Even if I want it to. Because it doesn't matter what I want—what matters to me is you."

You were thankful you had the couch next to you to brace a hand on, because you'd never felt so swept up by a conversation and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand the way your heart was nagging at you.

"You were right," swore James, but the slight shake of his eyes back and forth on your face didn't look as adamant as he sounded. "It's not fair for me to expect something from you when you already got over me."

The words you'd shouted at him in Hogsmeade that morning sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and you knew the months of dishonesty that laced them like you knew the back of your hand.

"And it's too late now, I get that." His voice went from deep and determined to on the cusp of breaking, and it killed you. "I just want to know that you're happy, and if being happy means being with Vance instead of me, then ... I can deal with that."

You watched as he swallowed, like he was forcing the words to come from his lips even if it pained him. The way he hadn't broken eye contact with you the whole while was starting to make your head spin.

Your blinking sped up, maybe holding back the emotion you knew you was fighting to come out, and you whispered, "James."

Maybe you hadn't been loud enough, or maybe he just knew you'd try to disagree with him again, but he only continued determinedly at you.

"I know I probably went and ruined your chances with Vance, like an idiot, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you another date with him." He nodded at you once firmly, and within a second he was standing up, taking an intentional step forward. "Hell, I'll even go talk to him right now and-"

"James," you called again, louder this time. "Stop."

You put a hand out and it landed on his arm softly but firmly, and all you could was pray you could find the right words to say to him as he stared at you, level with you now in an unsteadying way.

"You didn't ruin my chances with Sebastian. It wouldn't have worked out regardless, even if I'd wanted it to. Because being with him isn't what I want." You shook your head, recalling back what James had said to you only moments before. "He wouldn't have made me happy." You sounded desperate now. "He's not you."

James stilled, his glistening eyes the only thing showing movement as they danced across your face intensely, though you saw them widen with something bright like hope. "What?"

The confusion of the word that he'd practically whispered out unspeakably attested to how you felt yourself, the terrain of the land you were exploring right there and then with James uncharted and rocky. You pushed on, knowing there was no going back now.

"Marlene wasn't completely right, James. She only said all of those things because I'd spent all this time trying to convince her—and myself—that I didn't still have feelings for you. But I do, clearly." You tipped your head down for a moment in exasperation and exhaustion, willing yourself to keep going. "Everyone can see it. All of our friends. Hell, even Sebastian could see it." You laughed, though your eyes were growing blurry. "So for me to try to push those feelings down any longer would just be lying to you and to myself." You let out an exasperated breath. "And I'm so sick of lying."

Your shoulders sunk as you stood there, a steadily shrinking distance between you and James that was both comforting and daunting to you. You couldn't do anything but watch as James's face stilled and then shifted as he thought, studying your own face in a way that made you conscious of every shift in your expression.

"I just," he began, and then raked a hand through his hair. "Why did you feel like you needed to hide how you felt in the first place?"

You felt your mouth go dry at the question—one you knew came only out of a desperate curiosity and nothing else—and your mind began spinning. The last few years of your friendship seemed to swirl in your head, flickering in and out of focus as you tried to come up with an answer.

"I-" you began, willing yourself to say something, anything at all. "I was scared." The words rang true so much that they made your heart pinch. "Scared that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd go and ruin everything. That I'd lose you."

James's hands lifted up from his sides like he wanted to reach out to you, and he did. He took your hand in his, grasping lightly at your fingertips in a touch that steadied you and made you feel lightheaded at the same time. He shook his head at you with a firm hold in his brow.

"You could never lose me."

His lips were parted, and his hazel eyes glistened over in the low common room lighting like the thought of your suggestion was painful enough on its own. Looking at him then, his face lined with years of a comforting, steadying familiarity, you knew deep in your chest that what he said was true. But that didn't alter all that you'd felt for the past number of years.

"It's not just that," you said, looking down at his hand that held yours and blinking away the guilt that crept into your stomach, because it wasn't James's fault that you had felt this way. "Even in Hogsmeade, James." Your voice was becoming unsteady again and it only frustrated you more. "What if everything you said you felt for me was just some spur-of-the-moment thing from some kiss? What if you didn't feel the same way a week from now? Or a month? I knew I wouldn't be able to get over that fear. Especially when I'd been hiding how I felt from you for years. And then there were your feelings for Lily to think about and ... I don't know."

You trailed off, finally able to stop yourself. You felt petty, so petty, because you were so close to getting what you knew your heart wanted, but you felt the insistent need to ruin things for yourself and think of every way things could go wrong. You'd never felt closer to James then, but also never farther away. All you could do was stand there and wait for him to say something, anything.

James stayed unmoving for a beat staring at you, wordlessly taking everything in with a fragility in the air that hallowed your labored breathing. Then he started to shake his head like he was in disbelief. He ran a hand through his brown hair.

"For Merlin's sake."

His voice was low, a mutter, and he stared at the ground for a moment in thought before dropping the hand that once held yours, turning and walking away from you, leaving up the steps to his dorm room. You watched his back as he disappeared, your fingertips feeling cold and empty.

You felt your blinking speed up in a dizzying confusion. You didn't know what had come over you, not even sure exactly what you'd said in all of your desperate rambling that had made him decide to leave, but your vision started to blur even more than it already had until you recognized the wetness forming beside your eyes.

Nothing made sense. Not then, and not in the last twenty-four hours. You moved until you were sitting down on the couch in front of you, feeling lightheaded as the fireplace crackled a few feet away. The light from outside had left with the sun and the room had a comforting kind of warm lighting, though even that did little to soothe you as you sat there with all the unresolved feelings within you.

You were confused and lost and wanted nothing more than to just fix things, but you were even more at a loss for words when you heard quick footsteps coming from the staircase James had left from, and then saw his returning form making its way down the steps.

You turned your head to him swiftly in confusion, following him and his soft but energetic steps as he came to sit next to you, and that was when you noticed he was holding something—a box. One that was tattered on the corners, its black fabric aged and dusting over.

You wiped at your eyes quickly, brows tugging in all your bewilderment as you waited for James to explain.

"I-" he began, and stopped as soon as his eyes focused more on your face. You must've looked as broken as you felt, and at seeing the look on your face, he held one of your hands in his before swiping across your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

You felt like wilting under his soft touch that you'd missed more than anything in the confusing weeks, mentally and physically exhausted from everything but still wanting more than anything to understand.

When you looked perhaps more stable, he looked back at the box that he'd set down beside him and placed it on his lap delicately as he spoke, his words echoing out slowly.

"I know you think I've just realized my feelings for you a week ago, and that they came from some kiss at a party. But, you have to believe me when I say that they're so much more than that." He placed the box in your hands, and you took it from him with a note of fragility, resting it atop your legs. His eyes bore into yours, like it would break him if you couldn't understand the words leaving his lips. He took a shaky breath in. "I need you to know, more than anything, that you're everything to me. You always have been."

Your lips began to shake at the earth-shattering words coming from your best friend's lips. "James, what-"

He stopped you with a gesture of his head that told you to look inside the box, and you did. Carefully, you lifted the flimsy cardboard top and placed it to the side, brows pulling together tight and something loud and hearty threatening to pull from your chest. You shook your head as tears began to well over your eyes again as you recognized what James had given you.

The box, the measly and old mess of cardboard and paper, was full of all the letters you'd written to him over the years—all the thank you notes, the letters you'd sent him from that summer and all the past ones—every single one of them. Your eyes raked over each of them when you felt too stunned to use your hands, but your heart still felt touched by the memories of each one all the same. It took everything in you not to release the sob you felt rising in your lungs.

"It's you. It's always been you."

James's eyes never left your face as you took everything in, the look behind them never having seemed so determined, so desperate. But there was something behind the way he looked at you, something so warm and honest, so familiar that you felt ridiculous for never noticing it before. And when your gaze flickered downward for a second in contemplation he tipped his head to follow it endearingly.

"Always," he promised. "Not Evans, not anyone else. I know I'm a bloody idiot, and I know I haven't been great at showing my emotions when it comes to you, but that's because it's you, and you mean everything to me and have since we were kids, and if this can't make you see that then I promise I'll spend every day trying to make up for it, and-"

"James." You stopped him, not knowing how much longer you could take sitting next to him and not getting rid of the frustrated crease between his brows, or how much longer you could ignore the thrum of your heart that called out to him so clearly now.

"Yeah?" he asked, and his eyes were like a deer in headlights. The warmth in their color reflected the simmering warmth from the fireplace, but that didn't compare to the fire that lay behind his gaze.

You placed the box, his box of the last six years of your friendship and then some, atop the couch next to you, and didn't wait another second before engulfing him in a hug. Your body crashed into his as he leaned back against the couch, his hands coming up to embrace you right away, and you heard him breathe a smile by your ear before he laughed, a perfect noise.

You felt like laughing then too, and crying, and everything else, because you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to hold him like this without the fear of revealing too much to him nagging at you. Your cheek pressed against his neck, his curls fanned against the top of your head, his hands held you tight, and you never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. Except to do one thing.

You pulled away from the hug and so did James after a second, his eyes wide and glistening but truly happy. He was smiling widely, his lopsided grin appearing after days like the sun after a storm, and you loved the sight more than anything, locking it away in the back of your mind as a memory you'd keep forever, like the box that sat next to you.

You laid a hand on his chest, another on his cheek, and James grasped the one that was flattened on his chest in his own, quickly glancing down at your hand in his like he couldn't believe he was holding it. He pulled you into him with it and leaned his head on yours.

"It's always been you, too," you whispered, and his eyes glanced down at your lips as you said the quiet words that'd been lingering on your lips for much too long. You had to push away your smile because you were aching to just kiss him like you'd wanted to for years. With a courage that could've only come from Godric himself, you finally did.

You leaned in until your lips met, a flutter of skin dancing shyly together until you leaned into him even further, and suddenly it felt like the crash of a wave, and sounded like the earth was moving beneath your feet, the sound of something right—and this time, you knew it felt the same for him too, because you could feel his boyish grin that you'd spent years admiring tugging against your lips.

You were kissing your best friend. For real this time. It felt so impossible for your mind to imagine such a thing, but luckily it didn't have to.

James moved his hands but they never left you, one sliding through your hair smoothly and one delicately holding your waist like you were something fragile. Butterflies fluttered through you at his touch, something familiar but foreign, wrong but also right, and somessilyperfect. You couldn't believe you'd spent all those years just a few words away from getting to feel it, getting to be surrounded by it.

You pulled away after a moment, your lips feeling puffy and burning with the heat of his kiss, but all you could think about was how free you felt, how happy you were that he was finally yours.

James looked down at you, his eyes dancing all across your face and stopping on your lips, and then somehow growing even warmer when they met yours again.

"I can't-" he began with a slight disbelieving shake of his head, voice coming out breathless and dazed as heat flushed into your own cheeks at the sight. "I can't believe..."

You laughed, feeling out of breath too, and adjusted the glasses that now perched crookedly on James's nose in an agonizingly cute way.

"Me neither," you finished for him, because you knew just how he felt, a secret the both of you shared; it was the only secret you still wanted to keep.

And it was a feeling you never wanted to have to live without again. Though now, with him in your arms and his familiar chocolate curls still brushing against your forehead, you knew you would never have to.

taglist!!

@hisparentsgallerryy @msmk11 @garfieldsladybird @empath-bunny @urmykindofwoman @bambi-jp @babyclea @kenjikishimotoswifey @cloudroomblog @the-marauders-mapp @mooonyxoxo @imgondeletedis @moon-flowerrs @fruticake @arey0usirius @marauroon @swiftsgirlfriend @jamieolivia27 @magicwithaknife

[erinwantstowrite]

wait why doesn’t peter recognize bruce as ben

some of the alternates that we meet have the same soul but look different and have different circumstances. kind of like when you look through a concept art book or are dreaming up different characters before you write them and the characters can look different or be different, but all the different versions are one character. he doesn't see Ben when he looks at Bruce because they don't have the same face (even if there are hints of him there) but he also looks at Bruce and maybe sees the idea of Ben

[stardusksx]

ೀ⋆｡ ˚ TIME TO BEGIN AGAIN remus lupin x fem!reader

summary: after the death of lily & james, reader and remus navigate their broken relationship while raising harry potter.

gif not mine, credits to the creator <3

warning: sad & angsty but there is a happy ending! idiots in love?? talks of death and grief, past miscommunication, hurt/comfort, friend to lovers, fade to black at the very end but nothing explicit!

( word count : 1.89k )

Silver moonlight bled through the windows, illuminating the tears on her cheeks and setting one-year-old Harry Potter’s eyes ablaze. He stared up at her, gaze wide like his small body had finally succumbed to the shock. She swayed back and forth to soothe him, her heart heavier than concrete, sound of his now silenced screams still ringing in her ears.

Down the hallway, she could hear muted voices. Albus Dumbledore's sombre words were incoherent to her, but she didn’t care what he was saying— what anyone was saying. She'd arrived a matter of fifteen minutes ago, burned under their sympathetic gazes, and fell apart at the confirmation of what she had hoped was a cruel, cruel, joke. Then her eyes had landed on midnight hair and a blue baby grow, the toddler squirming in Mcgonagall's arms as hysterical cries bellowed from his lungs. She’d taken him from her, cradled him close, and wordlessly walked down the hallway to Lily and James' vacant room.

She couldn’t whisper it’s okay, couldn’t get any words of reassurance out even if the infant was the only one who would be able to judge if they were truthful or not. It was like she hadn’t had air in her lungs since the phone call— it felt like nothing would be worth the effort it took to breathe again.

Lily and James were good. They were everything that a person should be, and they were gone.

“I’ve got you.” She managed to murmur, because she did— it was the one true thing she could say to offer comfort, “I promise.”

His head came to rest against her chest, and she could feel the stickiness of his drying tears against her skin. She was remembering the sorting hat placed over coppery hair, the sheepish expression on James’s face after he had accidentally hit her with a crumpled ball of paper— a note he’d been trying to get to Lily, who was sat obliviously beside her. They were so intertwined with every memory of those seven years at Hogwarts that she would never be able to think about her time there without thinking about them.

It had been the best era of her life, now forever tainted, like a spill of ink to pure water. She felt like she’d come crashing to earth after floating through antigravity.

There was shuffling in the hall, and her head snapped towards the doorway.

"Remus." She breathed, voice full of grief. The sight of him sent another wave of despair over her as more tears surfaced and spilled like rain against a window. He was dishevelled and clearly just pulled from sleep, but the redness of his glassy eyes as he stared at her for a frozen moment was enough to tell that he was in the same emotional turmoil she was. Her lip quivered before he finally strode towards her, wrapping his arms around them both. A sob was muffled into his shoulder, and she could feel his tears against the skin of her neck. They'd lost it all tonight.

"Oh god." His voice was raw, broken, as he said her name, "Oh god."

She didn’t know how long they held each other, but his arms were the only sense of reprieve she could find— like one of the million elastic bands around her heart had snapped away. She was scared to let go, scared that the one band would tighten around her again and squeeze until she gave out.

She hadn’t seen Remus since graduation. They’d had a stupid argument— stubborn colliding with stubborn, neither one of them wanting to admit to their wrongs. She had called him careless, stupid. It was harsh, but when she’d heard he was in the infirmary from a prank gone wrong, her panic had made her irrational. Why do you care so much? He had spat back when he realised she hadn’t been joking— when he realised she was actually mad. As soon as he’d said it, he really did feel stupid for instituting that she did care that deeply for him. For insinuating it like he didn’t want her to care, like he hadn’t been wishing for her to care like that since first year.

Well, forgive me, her last words to him had been, sarcastic and punctuated with a glare that she hoped would hide the way her heart was hurting, next time I’ll be sure to not give a fuck, Remus.

He’d felt too ashamed to approach her, and she’d felt too raw from the way it had been as if all her vulnerable feelings towards him had been forcefully exposed and thrown back at her with a sneer.

Come on, Sirius had said her name softly after it had been weeks, you know he didn’t mean it that way.

Then he shouldn’t have said it. She’d responded, shoving her papers into her bag and exiting the dining hall. He shouldn’t have said it like she didn’t have a right to care about him. Not when her heart had been in her throat at the sight of his bandages, voice wobbling when she’d asked if he was okay.

Yeah, he’d responded, having the nerve to grin, it was worth it for—

She was worked up. When Dorcas had come to get her, she’d made it out like he was on his deathbed. She’d been terrified. It was careless, Remus. Are you that stupid—

His eyes had widened in surprise, clearly not expecting her reaction. And so it had happened. They had said things they shouldn’t, then been too stubborn to fix it.

None of that mattered now. “He can’t go to Lily’s sister,” She said, “He just can’t.”

Remus pulled back from her, his hand gently caressing the side of Harry’s face. “He won’t,” he said firmly, “We’re his godparents, he goes to us.”

They had spoken to Dumbledore after they’d finally gotten the toddler to sleep, and the man’s features had pinched in concern. “You’d have to go into hiding,” He said, “He’ll be a target if they find out he’s still alive, as will you— if you aren’t already.”

“Whatever it takes.” She had responded, Remus nodding along.

They found themselves in the middle of nowhere. Some cottage hidden by country side trees while they waited out the war with the death eaters. Harry needed to be held most night, his cries an echo against the darkness after awakening from another nightmare.

She had nightmares too. So did Remus. They started off in separate rooms, but ended up in the same one for comfort. He held her, whispered assurances as they weathered the grief. She did the same for him.

Harry began walking, talking. They laughed again for the first time sitting on the kitchen floor, legs forming a diamond as the little boy attempted to stumble between them. One step, two step. He’d collapsed into her arms, and she’d raised him into the air, their cheers making him squeal.

The way Remus looked at her then— it had made her feel like a schoolgirl again, like she was before all the loss. She had smiled at him, genuinely, then broke his gaze to continue praising Harry.

They took turns cooking. Reminisced. It was less painful to remember things together. Candle light would flicker on the kitchen table, and they’d talk for hours like they used to. Then they’d get into the same bed, sleep in each other's arms as rain pattered against the window.

It didn’t happen straight away. They were too busy with grief, with the hurts from that lingering argument they hadn’t talked about, but eventually, with time, came the healing. Came the capacity to remember what they’d toed the line at those few months before the end of their final year at Hogwarts.

She’d loved him for a long time. She doesn’t remember when she started, but she knows that she hadn’t stopped. Not even for a moment.

Remus? It was sometime in February, the common room empty as the clock struck one in the morning. The fire was spitting embers, tartan blankets draped over laps. You're my favourite thing to come of this, you know?

His head had snapped up from his parchment paper, eyes comically wide, w-what?

She’d grinned slightly at his bewilderment, out of all the things Hogwarts has given me, you're my favourite.

He’d spluttered, and she’d gathered up her homework and headed towards the stairs, tossing a night, Mooney, over her shoulders like she hadn’t left him short of breath. At the breakfast table the following morning, Sirius had been teasing him about something as she sat down. He’d been flushed bright red, swatting the other boy's hands away and harshly whispering to stop it. Sirius had smirked at her, raised his eyebrows suggestively, and she’d told him to sod off with a poor attempt at concealing a smile.

“You're still my favourite.” She says, late into the night as her hands are deep in dish water. Remus freezes, rag hovering over the counters he was polishing. When his head turned to look at her, his eyes were as wide as they had been the last time. She smiles, “You always will be.”

He stares at her, grip on the cloth loosing, before his arm completely falls slack at his side. He takes in a breath, there’s another beat, and he does something he regretted not doing the last time.

With two strides, his hands cradle her face, and he pulls her towards him. Moonlight illuminates them, silver streamers through the kitchen window, and he kisses her like he was always meant to. Her hands fly to his waist, to his shoulders, and she melts into him as if her very bones were liquidated and seeking to be moulded permanently against his shape.

“I love you,” He says it like a promise, “Always. With everything I have.”

The words linger between mingled breaths, chests rising and falling against each other. “You’re my world, Remus. You and Harry. I don’t need anything else but this.”

He takes her hands between them, brings them to his lips. “You have me. I don’t want to be anywhere that you aren’t.”

They crash together again, years and years of unsaid things melded into their movements. They become a tangle of limbs in a bed they’d shared for months now, skin against skin and a shared pleasure that rolled over them like liquid gold.

It should feel wrong— hiding away in this cottage, raising the child of their murdered best friends, praying for the end of a war. But little by little, life begins to take a shape again, starts to feel like there is certainty and purpose. Here with Remus, with Harry, the effort it takes to breathe, to continue, is entirely worth it.

[belovedivies]

along the wind (bodyguard!peter x f!reader)

・゜・summary: Peter has made his way to the top by defying the odds his whole life; barely anything fazes him at this point. Yet when a glimpse of normalcy comes into his life in the form of a girl whose presence he initially apathizes, the crack in the Apostle’s stoicism starts to show.゜・* ・゜・tags: reader-insert, pre-canon, pre-rejuvenated peter, slice of life, fluff, slow burn, eventual romance, (my poor) attempt at humor, friends to lovers, typical-canon violence (mostly referenced cuz i suck at writing fight scenes)゜・* ・゜・notes: this work has multiple chapters! also cross-posted on my ao3 <3 title is from a song called "fly away" by jang yoon ju.゜・*

chapter 1: white strawberry and mint. ・゜・chapter content: bashing/washing, brief mention of drug. ・゜・word count: 1,268 ♡masterlist♡

“Tch, stop squirming so much will you?”

"That's easy for you to say, you took my last xanax!"

Peter, very much irritated, decides to ignore those words as he drags the washcloth down your spine. You really thought Glory's greatest asset would want to be stuck here babysitting a grown-ass woman in her early 20s, huh? You'd better fucking think again; with how bizarre this unconventional live-in assignment has been and is still going, Peter's mental gymnastics constantly blow hot and cold between wanting to protect you and wanting to strangle you. Anything to make your perpetual complaining go away, honestly. But as nice as the thought of making you shut up for good, the Cathedral's order to keep you safe is final, and he is but loyal to the organization that made him the powerful man he is today.

So the Apostle sucks it up, a sigh leaving his lips as one big hand closes a little tighter around your waist.

"You're recovering," Peter continues, the authority colors his tone even as his touch on your soaked back is undeniably gentle, "and the last thing I need is another headache of you OD'ing over off-label pills."

You let out a sound that falls somewhere between a gasp and a yelp. "I'm not an addict, ok?" That half-assed excuse almost has Peter rolling his eyes in pure frustration, his displeasure threatening to bubble over when you flounder on his lap like a fish out of water. "They're just my sleeping aid-"

“Aid or not ,” he cuts you off mid-sentence, “it doesn’t change the fact that you pop three xans per meal and barely function without them.” The last of his impatient reprimand is accompanied by foam-covered linen spreading the Olay body wash over the skin of your belly. Peter’s nose crinkles slightly at the sickening sugary scents of white strawberry and mint that assault his nostrils, but the man decides to keep his mouth shut.

And much to his surprise, so do you.

He’s relieved at your lack of resistance, or at least no more bitter remark. A huff leaves your lips, then nothing. Good, the Apostle is sure if this goes on, he’ll be scrubbing your wrinkly skin raw. Peter sets the washcloth aside and grabs the shower head, aiming the lukewarm stream of water at your body and clearing away the bubbles and remaining grime.

The water sloshes underneath your body as you draw up your legs; the tub isn’t small by any means, but Peter is aware of his size and how his large stature might be a little suffocating to you in terms of space. His grasp on your waist loosens, wanting to speed things up so you both can get out of here quicker. Yet the second the soap on your skin is washed away, the guy can't help but let his eyes linger on the scar on your lower thigh.

"What?" Peter hears you huff again, sounding uncomfortable despite your nonchalant expression. One of your hands moves down to conceal the healing wound, even if through the little cracks between your fingers, he can still make out the pinkish scar tissue.

"How are you feeling?" It's a genuine concern on his part.

"Um," your hesitation doesn't escape his notice, even palpably so when you start shifting awkwardly between his legs. Peter just wants to make sure, but he has no problem with dropping the topic if it irks you. That is what he thinks, but you finish the sentence, "better?"

So it doesn't hurt anymore, at least not as badly as it used to. The man lets out a low hum, then turns his head to hang the showerhead into its wall-mount bracket.

"No hair wash?" Are you serious right now? Peter rolls his eyes for real—an act he's very much acquainted with in the past six weeks living here—before facing you.

"No hair wash," there you go again with that annoying pout. Really makes him wonder how the hell you two are the same age, "I won't have you lazing around in here for more than 30 minutes."

Sensing an upcoming brainless argument, the raven-haired assassin stands up and walks out of the bath, taking you with him. He promptly ignores the way you yelp when one right hand grazes a ticklish spot on your nape to keep you still, instead reaching for two towels sitting on the sink. Peter wraps one of them around his waist and focuses on patting you dry with the other. There's a bored look on his face while you just stand there, grumbling under your breath about how you can do this on your own. Brat.

"Put this on." He draps the towel over your shoulders and hands you a fresh set of clothes for the night. Only when you take them does he start putting on his own; a moment of silence follows, save for the rustling of fabric. It’s oddly calming, and even though he has used to going through days without a wink of sleep, Peter feels his eyes getting droopy as he puts on his grey hoodie; the day’s exhaustion finally catching up.

You let out a yawn, putting your hand on his shoulder for support while you slip on a pair of cotton slippers. Now he just has to wait for you to finish up.

“Hey, Peter…”

“Hm?”

The guy looks over his shoulder when you call out his name. This time, you don’t meet his gaze, instead staring down on the floor as you scrawl with one foot.

”Sorry for my mini tantrum earlier.” You gulp, and was that shame he just heard? ”You were just trying to do your job…”

Peter cocks an eyebrow. He isn’t mad at you, per se—the smirk on his lips giving away his rare playfulness—more like the usual light-hearted annoyance (that makes him want to choke you due to how stubborn you are sometimes, but that’s out of the question). You’re still 97% better than most people the Apostle had encountered in his line of work, and that is to say out of the other 3% he didn’t fumble (or kill), you’re the girl who happens to fit the closest to society’s definition of normal.

Not that he cares about what people think, anyway.

“A-And I acted out like a child…” He’s half-expecting another sorry, but you keep your head down in silence. You must be waiting for his answer then, so the guy decides to give you an easy way out; the further teasing comment that is about to leave his mouth can be saved for another time.

”Aside from the occasional migraines you gave me,” Peter smiles, putting a hand on your head as he starts ruffling your hair. "you're not too bad yourself. Apology accepted."

You mirror his mirth, though only for a brief second. Schooling your expression into a mask of faux frustration, you huff and try to pry his hand off. “Right right, now stop would ya? You’re gonna mess up my hair!”

Again, sleep comes first. As fun as it is to taunt you, Peter needs to get you to bed. Tuck you in… is that what it is called? The Apostle mentally cringes at the term; Father Gabriel really did land him into babysitting his niece.

“Right… let’s go.” He settles for giving your head one last pat before motioning you to walk towards the door connected to your bedroom. The distance is short, but Peter knows you’ll be there when he turns around.

Tomorrow will just be another day.

[therealflickerman]

Split Lips (tasm!peter parker x reader)

Part four

series summary: Its simple hating peter parker, the cocky asshole who has made it his mission to one up you every chance he gets. In the same vein, its simple loving spiderman, the sweet masked vigilante who has made it his mission to ensure your safety. How simple will it be when the two worlds meet.

______________________________________________________________

chapter summary: You try your hardest to hide what you can from Peter though you can't help when secrets slip through your fingers.

word count: 6.5k (i cooked a little)

chapter contents: angst?, mention of death, mention of parental death, mention of cancer, reader is described to b shorter than Flash (6’1),  reader is intended to be fem! , language, reader is anxious and a mess, bullying kinda?

note: hi guys!!! This chapter is like INSANELY late but it's also the longest chapter by far so I hope I’ve made it up to you guys… This chapter gets only a little deep but I hope you enjoy how I've written the reader and her mum and I hope I've done the themes justice!!! 

masterlist

series masterlist

chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four (ongoing!)

“Maths, History, Bio” the words quietly slip past your lips as you count your textbooks carefully, ensuring each and everyone of them are there. Pressing your forehead against the cool of your locker, your eyes flutter shut and you draw a sharp breath, holding it in for a split second before finally releasing it alongside your jaw, clenched shut almost painfully. You pull away from the safety of the metal, words role over in your mind as you prepare for the day,

BAM

Your locker slams inches from your face. 

The loud bang of metal against metal rings through the busy hallway drawing the attention of a couple stray students, including yourself as you jump back softly, your hands clenching around your textbooks extra tightly as they threaten to slip through your fingers.

Your eyes flick to the perpetrator and you feel your jaw clench as nerves buzz in your fingertips. 

“What Flash,” 

It slips softly past your lips before you can stop yourself and anxiety turns in your gut as you wish you’d simply ignored him.

“I was wondering what you were doing tonight,”

His eyes watch you eagerly, like he’s hungry for the reaction you’ll inevitably give him. 

You swallow the anxiety that grows a lump in your throat and turn to head for the serenity of your History class. You have to remind yourself that he wants the reaction, he’s starving for it. 

He’s quick to follow you, sending a look to his friends that gather in a circle a little way across the hall. You hear the familiar sound of soft snickers and you feel your cheeks heat up. 

Trying your hardest to keep a poker face you press your lips into a tight line, you’d rather set yourself on fire than give Flash a reaction to laugh about with his stupid friends. 

“I know you’re probably super busy with all those friends you have, so I just wanted to check,”

His lips curl into a shit-eating grin, you fight an expression that threatens to grow on your face. You won’t give him the satisfaction, you entirely refuse. 

Keeping focused on the goal of your History classroom, you swerve through the other students that crowd the halls.

“C’mon,”

He just about corners you against the lockers as you walk shoulder to shoulder with them, dribbling his basketball he follows closely, the sound rings out obnoxiously much as his voice does. 

You can’t seem to find your voice, you keep your eyes ahead and continue on track, praying silently for him to leave you alone, the interaction turns our gut and you slip your lip between your teeth where it belongs. 

“C’mon, stop walking away from me,” 

His voice raises slightly, his hand coming out in front of you and you’re quick to stop in your tracks. His palm leans against the locker as he looks down at you through his eyelashes. He waits eagerly for a reaction, practically starved for it. 

You kiss your teeth with a clench of your jaw, as you try to slip from the barrier he’s created and a laugh bubbles from his chest as you hand feed him what he’s been waiting for. 

“Flash,”

A shot of relief floods your veins, it’s sweet, almost addictive, and your eyes seek the face to match that voice you know all too well. 

“Can’t you see we’re talking Parker,”

Flash shoots Peter a grin, not particularly concerned with convincing him of anything.

“Does she know that?”

Peter asks, his tone sardonic. 

Flash rolls his eyes, kissing his teeth as he turns to look at his surroundings. A frustrated sigh bubbles in his chest as he opens his mouth to say something before shutting it with a clench of his jaw, not bothered to start anything especially as so many teachers roam the halls, rushing students to their classes. 

He turns back to you, sending a wink as he slips away, quick to walk back to his friends that await him. It’s as if they crave the humiliation they give other people, it’s their life source and you feel gross just thinking about it. 

A soft groan slips past your lips, “thank you.”

He offers a shrug, a smile sat upon his lips as he watches you. His gaze is sweet, it's night and day compared to Flash’s hungry eyes. Your feet scuff against the vinyl as you slip next to him, far less eager to get to class this time around. 

“He will just not leave me alone you know? It’s kind of getting embarrassing on his part, like he does the same bit everyday. I don’t think he has a whole lot going on up there, not super creative.” 

You mumble softly, a grin slipping onto your face, Peter shakes his head with a laugh. 

“I’m pretty sure he’s got a little brain damage from all that sport so don’t take it to heart,”

He draws a giggle from your lips, “I don’t think I’ve ever taken anything he’s said to heart.”

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you make it to class. Words roll around on your tongue, you fight to push them out. 

“I was thinking maybe you’d wanna…  would you wanna study again tonight?” The words slip out. 

The two of you had spent many afternoons of the past week at the library, your noses between books, studying your hearts out before grabbing coffee, if you're honest it’s the most productive you’ve been in a long while. You hate to give him his praise but having someone as genius as Peter to bounce ideas off of has opened a whole new playing field and you’re not sure you can go back to ten minute mind blanks and groans of frustration. 

On the other hand you’ve never been more busy in your typically lacklustre life, you feel a bit like Spiderman yourself with all the running around you’ve found yourself managing. It was school, then work, or study, or both. Then home, just in the nick of time, all for Spiderman to swing you through the city before returning you to your bed at some ungodly hour. It was… nice, at least it was exciting, something vastly different compared to the eat, sleep, school repeat you’ve known for the past few years of your life. 

“Yeah of course, I was gonna ask anyway, so-”

“Maybe you could… um come to my place instead of the library?”

You spit out, cutting Peter off.

“My mums gonna be home, like, kinda early tonight so she’s um… making, like, a nice dinner and I thought you could join us?”

The words flow quickly and you’re unable to stop them as they spew from your lips, 

“I’d love to,”

He hums, a soft smile curling onto his lips

“I’m sure you would, ‘can put my address in your stalker journal,”

A scoffed laugh spits from his lips as his grin grows.

“How do you know I don’t already know where you live,”

“I’d be a little worried if you already knew where I lived,”

______________________________________________________________

Your foot taps rapidly against the concrete floor, a spit of anxiety turning in your stomach as your eyes dart around the city. ‘Please god do not show up,’ you watch with furrowed eyes for a flash of red and blue. 

“You waiting on someone?”

The voice rips you from your contraction and you jump slightly as you turn to find Peter and his stupid grin

“Only you,”

You swallow the lump in your throat and a smile plays across your face. 

“How was photography?”

Your eyes flick to his face, watching him as the two of you make the slow walk to the subway. 

“Good,” he hums with a smile, “I got an A+ on that assignment,” he shrugs his shoulders as if it were nothing, though you personally know he’d practically pulled his hair out with stress over it. 

“Look at you go, Mr Humble,” you nudge him softly, “bet you picked the photo I told you to go with,” 

You lend him a grin and he can’t help but roll his eyes.

“That is a possibility.”

“Hey, you’ll… you’ll tell me if Flash bothers you more?”

Peter mumbles softly, he swallows, feeling stupid as the question slips from his lips, though it spills anyway.

You watch his face, giving him a suspicious eye as a grin tugs at your lips. 

“You gonna do something about it?”

He rolls his eyes, his head shaking,“I might.” 

You hum suspiciously with a nod and it's followed by a giggle. 

“Hey you don’t know what I’m capable of,”.

“I know Flash is, like, a six foot one athletic scholar,” 

He leans his softly, “yeah but I have something he doesn’t,”

“What would that be Peter?”

“A brain.” 

You roll your eyes and push his face away with the palm of your hand. 

The sound of the city seeps into the subway carriage, it’s fairly empty and just about silent besides the racket of Peter’s voice as he talks of his next photography assignment, very passionately if you may add. He thinks it's stupid that they grade photography, he believes art is immeasurable, whether he’d simply rather an easier class or is genuinely passionate about the topic you can’t help the smile that tugs on your lips as he rambles. Either way it ‘isn’t like he has room to complain, the fact that it is in fact graded means he gets to be top of his class’, you roll your eyes as he tells you he’s only joking. 

You find yourself slowly drifting, your eyes keep on him as you mind wonders and a small smile finds itself on your lips.  

If it weren't for Peter you’d be sitting alone right now, packed into whatever carriage you had found. You’d listen to music loud enough to hurt your ears and you’d pick at your nails, or maybe you’d let your teeth at your lower lip. Your brain would mull over the day and you’d swallow the anxieties that pile themselves in your throat. 

“Am I boring you?”

Peter's face comes into focus, his smile is sweet as he watches you drift off.

“No! no no no… sorry,” you swallow with a blink, “sorry I got lost in thought,” you shake your head with an apology, “continue.”

A laugh bubbles in his chest and he shakes his head softly, “you’re good, I get um… I think I get a little too excited about photography sometimes.”

“Oh god no, I like hearing about your photography, trust me. It's refreshing to hear someone my age be so passionate about something,” Your tone couldn’t be more genuine.

“Really?” He smiles and you return it with a nod. 

He opens his mouth to speak and the subway's intercom system announces your stop, “I’m sorry I am. I promise I’m interested but this is our stop,”

You mumble with an apologetic expression as you stop him before he can speak. He giggles with a soft, “okay.” 

______________________________________________________________

Peter's voice reverberates through the quiet backstreets as you both walk side by side, heading back to your apartment. He talks of how he got into photography, how he enjoys being able to capture a moment in time, he views it as a sacred process. You watch his face light up as he speaks and you can’t help the bright grin curled onto your lips, unconsciously matching the smile on his face. You listen intensely as he speaks so passionately.

You’re grateful for the moment, there's no weird tension between the two of you, no bickering or teasing, you’re not on your toes trying to keep up with his stupid remarks. You’re simply indulged in his words, in a part of his mind that he’s sharing with you. 

Your grin grows. 

“What about you, what are you like… into?” he asks, his tone almost catches you off guard, it’s sickeningly sweet. 

You have to think for a moment, “um I don’t know… nothing I guess,” a shrug pulls at your shoulders.

“C’mon there's gotta be something.”

You think of the eat, sleep, school repeat cycle you’ve been living for the past however many years, each day full of so much nothing. Looking back you genuinely do wonder what you did to pass the time and nothing comes to mind.

The only things that happen in your life are Peter and Spiderman, and you can’t say, ‘actually you’re my hobby. And also Spiderman, don’t know if you’ve heard of him.’ 

“Hmm, nope, nothing, I study… I… I don't know, I work.” You shrug.

‘What about the posters on the wall, the music you’re always listening to, the movies you’re always watching at night,’ the words dangle on his tongue and he bites down, swallowing a lump in his throat.

“I don’t believe that,” he opts for this. 

“Believe it, you’ve befriended a bore,” 

He rolls his eyes, a chuckle slipping past his lips as he denies this. You’re being stubborn.

“Believe what you want, it's the truth.”  You shrug. 

He hums softly, his eyes keep on you and the remains of a smile stay evident on his lips.

______________________________________________________________

The familiar apartment building comes into view, he swallows softly, and can’t seem to pull his eyes from your face. He rolls over words in his mind, ‘you’ve never been in her room, you don’t know which apartment is hers, etc.’ He almost feels sick at the thought of slipping up.

“You’d think big hot shot Oscorp would pay well enough for an apartment complex but I guess one income slows us down.” 

You send your shoulder into the weighted door and lend an awkward smile as you hold the door for him, mumbling an apology about the climb to the fifth story.

“Your mum works at Oscorp?” he asks softly, there's something else to his tone and you can’t quite place it. You ultimately decide to blame it on the stairs, despite not being a quarter way to the top. 

“You got a problem with Oscorp?” you tease, looking to the step behind you as you watch Peter make the climb with ease.

“No, no, it’s just… I don’t know,” He curses himself as no answer comes to mind, god he’s already slipped up. His heart beats softly against his chest and he releases a breath as you hum, dropping it.

“Well she loves it, that's why she’s out so late almost every night, they’re working on this um, DNA thing… I don’t know, her boss is missing an arm, it's, like, something to do with that. You ask her about it at dinner, she’ll love you forever.”

His breath catches in his throat and it’s followed by a gross feeling that spins his gut, his teeth sinking into the flesh of his cheek as you mention doctor Curtis Connors.

He tries to not let it bother him, in fact he feels guilty that it does, it’s not as though you’re his problem. 

His mind flicks to the suit in his backpack, maybe he doesn’t have a choice in whether you’re his ‘problem’ or not anymore. 

“Geez Peter I didn’t know you worked out, you haven’t even broken a sweat.” You huff, conquering the last step. 

Yes, you may over exaggerate but five stories of stairs is enough to make anyone a little breathless. “I work out,” he scoffs with a small smile. You take one look up and down, eyes trailing across his tall lanky build. With a raise of an eyebrow,  you hum a soft “Mhm”. He rolls his eyes and it pulls a giggle from your lips. 

Your hands fumble around in your pocket and you pull out your house key, wiggling it around in the old lock before it finally opens with a heavy shove of the door. 

“Hey mum!” You call out softly, holding the door open for Peter. Your mother stands in the kitchen, she’s chopping vegetables and humming along to soft music as it plays from her own old record player, she’s got it on her fifteenth birthday and she adores the thing. 

“Hey love,” She hums, her eyes flicking up from the task at hand. 

“Oh and this must be Peter.” 

You send her a pressed smile, widening your eyes as if to say, ‘embarrass me and I will kill you,’ though she retaliates with a little wink and you groan. 

“I’ve heard so much about you Peter,” she continues to cut carrots. 

Peter sends you a smug grin. 

“You have?”

“Oh for sure, all good things… most good things,” she hums with a shrug and a smile. 

“I’m just glad she’s making friends-”

“Okay mum, we’re gonna go study,” You cut her off with a tight smile, she laughs with a shake of her head and a wave of her hand, “have fun!” 

“I’m sorry about her,” You huff with a smile, the tips of your ears burn and you feel yourself blushing. 

You lean your school bag against your bed and let him know he can put his stuff anywhere. 

Walking over to your desk, he leans his bag against the leg before settling comfortably into the seat.

Your brows furrow with a small smile, watching him as you take a seat against your bed. “You have a habit of making yourself comfortable,” you giggle with a shake of your head. 

“Oh I… sorry I, remember you saying you always study on your bed.” Nerve drips from his words as he sits up right. 

“No no, you’re good,” you smile with a shake of your head, “and you’re right,” you pull your things from your bag, setting stuff out the way you like it. 

He curses himself silently, ‘you’ve never been here before Peter,’ he reminds himself and his eyes scan your room, his sight falls on your posters,  the one he’d seen almost twice a night for the past week or so.

“Nice posters,” he hums.

Your eyes flick up as he speaks, the way he says it scratches a nerve in your brain, like it was familiar. 

You hum softly flipping open your Bio textbook, “thank you, it’s taken me ages to collect them all.”

Peter swallows dryly. 

“You said you didn’t have any hobbies,” his eyes keep on you. 

“Collecting posters isn’t… doing something though, like… writing or… taking photos,” you point to him with your pencil. 

“I guess…” He sits for a moment. “What about watching movies, I mean you’ve gotta love ‘em to have this many posters,” 

“Eh, I don’t think that counts”

“Oh c’mon that totally counts”

“Does it?” you shrug. 

“Whatever, we'll find you something.”

You look up to him with a smile, he gets his stuff out, placing it on your desk. 

“You know I am good at one thing…” You mumble, his head shoots up, “it’s called studying, and it’s going to help me get into a very nice university so that I can be good at things for money” 

You tease, drawing a humoured scoff from Peter. 

The two of you sit for a good while, faces buried in books, bouncing ideas and questions off of one another as you scribble messy notes. Stupid jokes and shared giggles pull the both of you from study, for minutes at a time you clutch your stomachs in laughter, textbooks forgotten until you find your way back on track. It leaves your stomach muscles beat, exhausted from curling in on itself as huffs of giggles slip from your lips. 

You now watch as he reads a particular section of his textbook, faced away from you with his eyes focused so desperately on the page, your teeth seek your lip, sinking into its flesh without mercy. A feeling settles deep in your gut, turning your stomach and all of sudden you feel ill, despite it you can’t seem to pull your eyes from the brown haired boy. It’s all too familiar but you refuse it, swallowing dryly before you can bring yourself to put a name to the feeling. 

Peter can feel you staring, he can feel the intensity of your gaze burning into his temple, a feeling he’s grown accustomed to. He’s not sure if it’s his ‘Spidey-Senses’ or because he just knows you but he can feel it. Maybe it's a mix of both with all the time he’s spent with you, with all the time you’ve spent on his mind. 

A smile tugs on his lips and he can’t seem to stifle it as it grows into a grin. 

Your eyes flick back down to your page, you practically wrangle them there. The lump in your throat is stubborn, no matter how much you swallow it sits there stubbornly and you try your best to ignore it. Now is not the time, your eyes flick up once again, especially as he sits in your desk chair, slumped over with his nose in his textbook, innocently in his own world and doing his school work just as you should be. 

The rapid knock of your door pulls you from thought, “dinners ready love,” your mum's voice calls out muffled through the wood. “M’kay,” you hum, loud enough for her to hear it, letting out a silent huff, a poor attempt at settling the unplaceable feeling in your stomach. 

A stiff silence settles over the three of you, broken by the sound of quiet chewing and cutlery scraping against your mothers ‘nice’ dinner plates. You’re all packed onto a small dining table, designed for just two people, your knee brushes against Peters and you meet his eyes with a silent apology. 

“So I um, heard you work at Oscorp,” He swallows, keeping his eyes on you before flicking them to your mother with a smile.

“Oh yeah? She told you about that huh,” your mother sends you a grin.

“I mean they’re doing insane work, really I shouldn’t even be talking about it, but it’s just so fascinating.” 

Peter nods along, you can’t help the smile that clings to your lips, unable to draw your eyes from him as he entertains your mother’s chattering.

“Its um… well lizards, right, they can regrow limbs, it's really quite fascinating, comes from years of evolution and adapting, I’ll spare the boring details,” she waves a dismissive hand, “we’re taking this aspect of their DNA and attempting to create a serum that can prompt human cells into preforming blastema-based regeneration. What that means is-”

“Mum Peter is like a grade A genius, don't worry,” you mumble, cutting her off. 

His lips curl into a smile, and he meets your eyes as you return the grin. 

“So you like science Peter?” Your mum asks. 

“Oh yeah, I um.. I love it,” He wears a lopsided smile, as he fumbles to answer the question. He watches you in the corner of his vision, checking to see if he’s said the right thing, and another grin slips onto your lips. You eye him as he stumbles over his words, looking for your approval and you lend a soft nod as your smile grows. 

“So that’s what you wanna do? Go into science I mean,” She asks, taking a fork full of food in her mouth. 

“Well I, um…”

“Peter’s actually a really talented photographer, so he’s still working things out.” You hum with a nod, sensing the nerves radiating off of him, he sends a grateful smile. 

“Oh yeah? My husband loved photography.”

You flinch a little at her words as she mentions your dad. It was true, he had spent a lot of his life taking photos, they were amazing too. He had never turned it into a career though, you had assumed it was because of some moral obligation he had to take care of you and your mum, he refused to even entertain the idea in fear of halving the household funds and leaving the both of you struggling, well look where you are now. 

Peter sends you a look, a quick flick of his eyes and you know what it represents. You opt to lend a small smile with nothing behind it, it’s a poor attempt at returning to any form of normalcy you could get your hands on and he returns it, submitting to this attempt. 

You make a note to talk to Peter about your dad later, it wasn't as though you had tried to hide any of… what had happened, it just never came up. Maybe deep down you liked it that way and maybe in a way you had tried to hide it, though you’re quick to swallow any guilt that threatens to build as you return to the normalcy that you and Peter had silently decided upon. 

Peter clears his throat with a hum. “Yeah, I just… love having the ability to capture a moment in time, I think it helps me get a grasp on reality. I would spend all my time taking photos if I could.”

Your mum hums with a smile and a soft nod, of course she liked that answer. She’s so insanely passionate sometimes that it scares you, up until two am most nights working on her research, not eating all day just to purely save time, you’re not sure how she’s still running. Seeing her daughter hanging out with someone at all, let alone someone so driven, is probably sending her insane with pure relief. 

“As long as you’re passionate about whatever you do,” Your mum nods, taking a sip of her wine glass. 

You smile with a shake of her head, she’s so predictable, it's sweet. You’re grateful for her, god, more than grateful for her, you’re not sure where on earth you’d be without her. 

“Oscorp isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, the field of science is very dangerous if you ever do go into it. The other day Peter-” she leans in with another sip of her wine, “there was this giant lizard monster god, I don’t know what he was but he injured about ten people, I’m sure you heard it on the news, that Spiderboy was there.”

“It’s Spiderman mum, and that isn’t because you work in science it's because you live in New York.” You correct her with a roll of your eyes, it was a conversation the two of you had had about five times since that night and if you heard about how ‘Spiderboy’ had made the whole situation worse one more time you’re sure you’d rip your hair out. 

“I don’t care what his name is, he totaled my car,” “The lizard did mum, not Spiderman, he’s just trying to help-”

Peter can’t stop the grin that curls at his lips as you unknowingly defend him. He watches as you toy with your food, giving up as your mother insists that Spiderman is doing more harm than good. 

“What do you think Peter, about this ‘Spiderman’ I mean,” Your mum hums, taking another bite of her food. His eyes flicker to you, and he hesitantly gives his opinion, “I think that he does good where he can…at least I think he intends to. I mean think about what could have happened if he wasn't there.”

You nod stubbornly with a fold of your arms, “Exactly.”

Your mum rolls her eyes with a small smile and a shrug as she washes down the food in her mouth with a sip from her glass, “I guess,” she mumbles hesitantly and you too roll your eyes with a giggle. 

Peter smiles, his eyes keeping on you. “What got you working at Oscorp,” He takes a sip of his water. 

“Well I always adored science, all through school. I graduated, y’know researched with a couple of small corporations near home. Then, after her dad died, I just decided lifes too short, I quickly applied to Oscorp, we moved here, and the rest is history.” 

There it is. 

An unease settles in your stomach and your focus turns to the food chewing in your mouth, it doesn’t really bother you, at least that's what you tell yourself. It was obvious your dad wasn’t around anymore, for one reason or another, but it felt too vulnerable for him to know that he was actually dead. The thought rolls around in your head and you swallow it with your dinner. You had planned to tell Peter, though it isn’t like you need to, you don't owe it to him. Still, you feel something build in your stomach as you realise that maybe you had actively avoided it in conversation, maybe even lied during the process and you quickly realise you’re filled with some sick mix of embarrassment and guilt.

You feel Peter glancing at you, his gaze is soft and his eyes flick between you and your mother as she continues to talk and he continues to nod along. You meet his eyes, deciding that facing whatever you’re feeling is far less embarrassing than closing up like you’re used to. You can’t place the emotions behind his eyes but nevertheless he offers a smile, it’s void of pity and you realise that deep down that was what you feared most from his reaction. You return the smile, it’s grateful though you don’t particularly mean for it to be, and the two of you once again silently agree to bask in normality until dinner is over. 

______________________________________________________________

The both of you sit on your bed in silence, it's comfortable but there’s an all too familiar feeling of anxiety settled in your stomach. Your mind rolls over words, they hang on the tip of your tongue as you wrack your brain on how to start the conversation. 

“When I was six my parents went on a work trip and never came back,” Peter lets out, taking the blow for you. His eyes find you, you’re focused on the tips of your fingers as they fiddle with one another. He hears your breathing hitch, your heartbeat speed up, he watches as you try to find the words. 

“Pet-”

“My Aunt May and Uncle Ben took me in, and then…. a couple of months ago Ben was killed in a robbery,” 

You shut your mouth tightly, your teeth sinking into the flesh of your cheeks as you fight to find the words and suddenly you don’t feel so angry at each relative that told you ‘they were sorry’ and ‘they were here for you,’ because… what do you say?

You swallow, your teeth unlatching around your cheek, and open your mouth to speak once again, 

“I just mean… you don’t have to feel weird or… I don’t know, ashamed about it… okay? Not with me.” 

His voice is soft, his eyes watch you so intensely, it’s like he’s looking at you for the first time, like really looking at you. Noticing each wrinkle in your expression, each imperfection that litters your skin, although this time it’s with his own two eyes, not shrouded by the mask he was once so grateful for.

“He died when I was fifteen…it was um, cancer,” you nod softly, keeping your eyes down, you’re not too sure why but it feels better, easier to talk, like you can breathe. 

“We packed up, like, straight away and mum immediately started working for Dr Connors. She thinks that she can like, find a cure or… I don’t know…” You curse yourself for rambling about it as you realise this wasn’t one of the venting circles in one of the libraries your mum had signed you up to. 

You swallow, biting the bullet and looking up to meet Peter's eyes. You’re not entirely sure what you had expected but when you finally meet them you don’t find the look of condolence that you’ve grown so accustomed to. You find a pure mix of kindness and worry and it spins your gut, this time with gratitude. 

You lend him a smile, it’s grateful, and understanding, it tells him what you don’t trust your words to and he returns it sweetly. 

“Even in dead relatives I’m ahead of you,” he elbows your arm and it's noticeably more gentle than usual.

A laugh bubbles in your chest and you shake your head with an eye roll. 

“Oh my god,” you hum and it draws a giggle from his lips. 

“You’re close with your aunt?” You ask gently as the laughter dies down between the two of you, you’ve found peace within his eye sight as you keep steady eye contact with him for maybe the first time since you've known him. 

He hums with a nod of his head and a smile curls onto his lips. It’s sweet. 

“You’re close with your mum?” He asks, his tone is almost cautious, though he doesn’t mean it to be. He had spent a whole hour at your dinner table and still couldn’t grasp the dynamic between the two of you. 

You hum a soft laugh with a nod of your head, “yeah, we are. It’s… complicated, my dad’s death fucked with her super bad but she’s still my best friend, kind of my only friend.”

He smiles, a sound of understanding slips from his lips. 

“Were you um… close with your dad?” He prays he hasn’t overstepped a line, his teeth catch on his lips as the words slip from them and he feels oddly close to you as he sinks teeth into flesh. 

You smile, looking down at your hands, “yeah… super close,” it’s all you say though he takes it with gratitude. 

“What about you, were you close with your parents, with your Uncle?” You look back up at him and meet his eyes, they never seem to leave you, it’s something you’d noticed. 

He nods, a smile slipping onto lips much like you had done. “My parents died when I was pretty young so, yes… but also no.” You nod along, watching him closely. “But I was super close with Ben.” You feel like maybe you opened something you shouldn't have as you remember that it hasn’t been long since his passing. You watch the creasing in Peter's expression and you quickly feel guilt fill your stomach as your own brows furrow. 

“I’m sorry Peter I shouldn’t-”

“No, god no I asked first- no, don’t do that,” His soothes quietly, shutting down your guilt. 

You nod softly as he continues.

“He was like a dad to me so… yeah.”

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, the air filled with a feeling of understanding and the both of you settle into it. 

“I should um, maybe get going,” He mumbles, it’s a cop out, the both of you know it, the both of you have become accustomed to it. 

“You can stay Peter,” 

His almost frantic movements stop, his eyes find yours, he wouldn't go as far as to say they’re begging but they’re big and asking him to stay in the warmth of your room and who is he to say no to you. 

“We can watch a movie… or-”

“I would really like that.”

______________________________________________________________

Your eyes glance over to him, his face lit up by the screen of your laptop. The two of you sit comfortably in your bed, backs propped up against the wall, an awkwardly large space between the two of you, you’re overly conscious of it as you try your hardest to keep your eyes on the screen and your limbs to yourself. In your uncomfort your eyes flick to your watch, checking the time and your stomach turns with anxiety as a thought pops into your head. You frantically flick your eyes to the window, trying your hardest to keep your ‘cool’ exterior in front of Peter though you’re now busy attempting to prepare for the inevitable. There hasn’t been a night in the past week where Spiderman hasn’t shown up at your window cill, absolutely bursting to tell you about his night. Many nights he’d sit in the very chair Peter had, chatting your ear off for hours until you had to shoo him from your room to save at least four hours of sleep before you had to get up for school. You swallow your nerves, taking a deep breath, soft enough for Peter to miss it, at least you hope he misses it, and you try to make up some sort of plan.

Peter was… cool about it, he appreciated what Spiderman did. He actually never really spoke about him, in fact he was a little weird about him, though you’re not complaining, if Peter tried to subtly shut down most conversations about him, it meant you didn’t need to subtly avoid most conversations about him. 

You’re only now realising it seemed like a sensitive topic and you pray to god Spidey didn’t have some unfortunate involvement with his uncle's death, that would make it a little awkward if, or when, he shows up at your window. 

You swallow, bringing your eyes back to the movie, you’re choosing to push all rational thoughts out of your mind as you do so, you’re going to sit here and focus on the film and not focus on how you wouldn’t be able to hand another of your secrets getting spilt, not that you had any others to spill after Spidey. 

Peter's eyes watch you in his peripheral vision, watching as your vision linger on the window cill. 

“Shit,” the word slips from his lips before he can stop it and it instantly catches your attention.

“What's up?” You ask, sitting up gently. 

Fuck, he curses himself silently though he quickly realises he’s given himself the perfect out. “I just realised that May said she wanted me home half an hour ago, I’m so sorry, I-” he jumps from your bed. 

“You’re fine, really. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Your voice comes out far more enthusiastic than you had hoped for and you cringe as the words leave your lips. 

Peter nods with a sheepish smile, backpack in hand as he stands at your bedroom door, “thank you for having me,” he mumbles. His words are genuine and the feeling in your gut that you entirely refuse to recognise is back, nagging at your heart. 

“No problem,” you hum softly, returning the sheepish smile. 

He’s gone in a flash, with a slam of your door, a little harder than he had anticipated, and a soft ‘sorry!’ from the other side of the wood. You let out a breath of relief, your teeth sinking into your lip as you do so. Your mind plays over the day as you slip your laptop into your school bag and lay on your bed. You’re grateful Peter knows about your dad, at least you think you are. It makes you feel vulnerable, he can take one look at the life you lead and understand why you are, where you are, now that he has the missing piece of the puzzle. You guess it goes both ways, though he seems so put together and you quickly become jealous over how well he’s able to hide his grief, then again you know it isn’t something to wish for and you swallow as you remind yourself that there are so many parts of him that you don't see.

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[whenlilyfallsinlove]

jolene part 3

you guys the love for this series (which wasn't even meant to be a series!) is insane!!! tysm to everyone who has read it! tags for people who wanted a part 3: @girllety @simping4-2manyppl @penny-exe @hisparentsgallerryy @superxovas

"it's done. it's over." your voice interrupted remus from his book, after hearing your voice he looked up to see you. you looked.. dishevelled? and quite out of breath. that was probably because you had sprinted to the library as fast as you could, as you knew remus would be there.

ever since the night of the party, you had felt closer to remus. like he understood how you felt, more than james could for sure.

"you what?" remus responded. he was hoping you meant that you and james were done, but he scanned your face, and there were no signs of sadness, so surely you couldn't have meant that?

"me and james?" you said, looking at him like he was an idiot.

"WHAT?!" remus shouted, a bit too loudly, resulting in madame pince sending a dirty look your way. you were.. done? is it bad that his day had suddenly got better?

"yeah." you sigh, and take the seat beside him. you itched your chair close to him, probably so you didn't get kicked out of the library for speaking too loud. the closeness of the two of you, however, made remus' breath hitch.

"merlin.. are you.. are you okay?" he asked you, more quietly.

"i mean.. i suppose. i'm sad because i loved him but i was the one to break up with him.."

"you broke up with him?" remus interrupted, eyes widened.

"why is that such a surprise to you?" you teased.

"it's not it's not, sorry, carry on." he said frantically, a bit flustered.

"i told him.. that it was obvious that his heart wasn't with me.. and i didn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that." you recount.

"what did he say?" remus asked, he knew that he would probably get whatever james' perspective was later that night.

"he denied it, the tosser. we all know it's true. i even told him i wouldn't be mad about it!" you shake your head.

"i would be mad about it." remus said.

"yeah i would've been, but i wasn't going to tell him that." you chuckle.

"fair enough." he smiles at your laughter.

"then i.. i think i did something stupid.. i told him it'd be okay if he liked lily." you mutter.

"y/n, why on earth did you do that?" remus looked at you, exasperated.

"because!" you put your hands up, defensively. "i just.. i don't know, i'd feel better about it if we both moved on."

both moved on. both moved on. both. what did you mean by that? were you ready to move on? no surely, you couldn't be. if james moved on, would you? no no. wait. lily was one of your close friends, by giving james permission to like her, then maybe.. james would let him date you? a million thoughts ran through his head at once.

"well.." remus finally speaks, clearing his throat. "you're too nice for your own good."

for some reason, you felt your cheeks heat up. what was wrong with you? you broke up with your boyfriend a mere fifteen minutes ago, and now you were blushing at his best friend's compliments.

"thanks remus." you smile cheekily at him.

"it's alright, are you staying?" he asks you, almost hopeful.

"sorry remus, i can't, got a detention for "harassing malfoy"." you pull a face.

"i'll see you around though, thanks for always listening." you place a hand on his arm.

"it's uh n-no problem." he smiles, nervously.

"see you later!" remus watches you turn and leave, a small smile on his face.

~

it had been a couple of months since you had broken up with james, and you were at peace with it. although awkward at first, the two of you hesitantly became friends again.

at this moment in time however, your awkward friendship with james was the least of your worries. your favourite author had released a new book, and you were dying to buy it at hogsmeade.

the issue was.. literally no one could go with you.

"sorry y/n, i can't, quidditch training."

"sorry y/n, i'm studying."

"sorry y/n, i promised dorcas i would help her revise for the potions exam!"

the excuses were all too convenient. that left you with only on option left. not that you were complaining though, you had grown quite fond of the increase in time you were spending with remus. so much so, lily had accused you of fancying him again! something you had denied, with flustered cheeks. it did make you think though.

"remus?" you approached him in the common room, he was with sirius. james and peter were in a detention.. or something.

"y/n" he smiled at your presence.

"would you uhh.. want to go to hogsmeade with me?" you asked.

"oooooo" sirius teased, nudging remus.

"no- no not like that, i need to buy a new book.. and i don't want to go alone i just thought-"

"yeah, i'll go." he smiles at you.

"great, meet me here at 1pm tomorrow." you scurry off, feeling your cheeks burning.

oh my godric. you had a sneaky suspicion you were beginning to have a crush on remus.

"ugh lily!!" you faceplanted your bed, your head in your pillow, that night.

"i think you were right."

"of course, what about?" she smiles, teasingly.

"remus." you said, your voice muffled.

"what was that?" she asked.

"don't make me repeat it." you groan.

"no you can say it again!" she smiles.

"remus. i think i like him." you sigh.

"you're acting like that's a bad thing! remus is great." lily sits on your bed, where you were having your crisis.

"it's not.. he's james' best friend!" you groan.

"oh y/n.. that doesn't matter. james won't mind, your friends, aren't you? and you've been nice to him and gave him permission to date me. no idea why because it's never gonna happen! but still, he''ll understand." she reassures you.

"i don't know.." you trail off.

"y/n.. i think it's obvious remus likes you." lily pats your back.

"WHAT?!" your head shoots up.

"it's quite obvious isn't it.. whenever you're around he always has a massive smile on his face." she smiles at you.

you smile at her.

"I swear to godric if you're wrong-"

"I'm not. now tomorrow you need to get ready for your little hogsmeade date and-"

"it's not a date.. and.. how did you know about that??" you look at her, bewildered.

"i know everything." she winks at you, and you have a sneaky suspicion that tomorrow she was definitely not studying like she had said.

"fineeee you're the best though lily" you smile.

"you flatter me" she smiles back at you and you chuckle.

~

you admitted to yourself the next day you were nervous. you didn't even know why.. you were only buying a book. but still you had gone out the way to put extra effort into you hair, something that didn't go unnoticed by your dorm-mates.

"you look nice y/n, dressing to impress?" marlene teases you, as you made your way down to the common room.

"impress? who would i be impressing?" you playfully roll your eyes, and speed off, before anything else about the matter was said, to meet remus. he was sat, reading.

"remus?" you approached him; "you ready to go?"

"yes." he smiles at you, and gets up, following you out the castle.

"would you rather we walk or take the carriage?" he asks.

"walking would be nice." you respond.

he nods and you begin walking to hogsmeade, engaging in conversation.

eventually, you had arrived at hogsmeade. the bookshop was called "tomes and scrolls."

"would you like me to.. uh come in with you?" remus asks, blushing slightly.

"yes, thank you." you feel your face heat up.

he follows you into the shop, watching you pick up the book you so desperately wanted.

"i'll pay for it, if you want." he smiles at you.

"you don't have to." you splutter.

"but i want to y/n." his own confidence caught himself off guard.

"i insist you don't.. but maybe you could buy me a butterbeer instead?" you smile.

"like as in a date?" remus's breath hitched. you probably didn't mean it like that. why did he say that out loud? he wanted the ground to swallow him up.

"like a date." you nodded, your cheeks burning.

"that'd be.. that'd be good. not good. brilliant." remus stumbled over his words.

"y/n.. i.. like you. alot." he mutters.

"you do? really?" you look at him.

"of course." he says, avoiding eye contact.

"oh remus, i like you too." you respond, smiling.

remus was caught off guard. he had finally got what he had wanted, after all this time.

you.

and he was happy. very. and so were you, by the looks of your smiling face.

[ljblueteak]

Peter Brown on being in Paris with Paul in January 1968. Paul asked Peter if he was going back to the hotel after dinner and Peter said he was off to a gay bar. Paul took a taxi to “Find his own fun” and this is later that night/morning.

“In the wee hours of the morning. I was in bed with a handsome Parisian I’d met at the bar, when Paul returned to the hotel suite. He knocked on my bedroom door and entered without waiting for a response. He was totally nonchalant when he saw me in bed with my friend.

He came over and sat down on the edge of the bed next to us. ‘How was the rest of your evening?’ he asked. We chatted for a bit about travel plans the next day and he left. I’m sure my young Parisian friend told this story many times in his life, and no one believed him.”

All You Need is Love. Page 9

[ailoda]

updated: 10.01.25

ᯓ★ friends to lovers

Touchy Feely Fool (❤): bsf!peter with no boundaries. (@keerysfreckles)

Cherry Red (✘): it's the hottest day of the year, your air conditioning is broken, and all you and your roommate slash best friend slash crush have are a box of cherry flavored popsicles and months of pent up sexual frustration each other. (@angelfic)

Into The Blogosphere (❤): Peter’s crush is now his chem partner. complicated? not until he finds her blog dedicated to a certain masked vigilante. (@angelfic)

Sandwich Date (❤): Peter’s your friend but when you have to suffer a head injury and get hooked up to the heart rate machine, you can’t avoid the way he makes your heart race. (@parkerpeter24)

You Fell First (❤): best friends to roommates to best friends with benefits wasn’t your best idea. (@biblio-smia)

I Know That Voice (❤): some douchebag and a spider. (@stylesparker)

[waitimcomingtoo]

You Never Called It What It Was

Pairing: Peter Parker x Avengers!reader

Synopsis: you and Peter are friends with benefits who never admit your true feelings for each other until Peter gets hurt on a mission

Masterlist

“What are you working on?”

You smiled when you heard Peters voice behind you but didn’t take your attention off the paper open on your laptop. You liked to play hard to get, and he liked to play until he got you.

“School work. Remember that?” You teased him.

“I remember. I just chose not to do it until it’s absolutely necessary.“ Peter shrugged and put his hands on either of your shoulders. He started to lazily rub his thumbs into your neck and you knew what he was looking for.

“That attitude is why you’re number two in the class.”

“Oh yeah? And who’s number one? Remind me.” Peter asked as he spun your swivel chair around to face him.

“That’d be me.” You smiled coyly. Peter returned the smile before leaning in for a long and slow kiss.

“Are you really gonna spend your Friday night doing homework? Because I can think of a hundred other fun things we could he doing right now.” He said once he pulled away.

“Oh really? Like what?

“Why tell you when I could just show you?” Peter asked before kissing you again. You shut your laptop without breaking the kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Your room or mine?” He asked against your lips.

“When’s the last time you washed your sheets?”

“I don’t know. When’s the last time you slept over?”

“Gross.” You laughed. “Meet me in my room in ten.”

You didn’t exactly when your friendship with Peter turned into a little more. Living in the tower together made it inevitable that you’d end up falling for each other, especially after all the late nights you would spend up and talking to the other. It was so routine for you to spend the night in each others rooms that you could hardly remember a time when you didn’t. And despite the fact that you both told yourselves you were content with being friends with benefits, you couldn’t help but want more each time you hooked up.

A few nights later, Peter knocked on your door and pushed it open slightly, finding you in your bed with a book resting on your knees.

“Hey, pretty lady.” He said as he knocked on your doorframe.

“When are you gonna get a real girlfriend and stop bothering me?” You teased him and shut your book.

“When you admit your feels for me and run away together as lovers.” He shrugged, making you smile.

“I’m pretty sure we already are lovers.” You laughed and patted the spot beside you on your bed. Peter wasted no time in sitting next to you and moving hair off your forehead.

“Is that what you call it?” He asked. His tone was playful but his eyes looked genuine. He wanted it know what you were but you didn’t have an answer to give.

“I guess so. I mean, it’s not like we’re dating or anything. But we’re definitely not just coworkers.”

“No. Course not.” Peter said through a laugh but you could tell it hurt him when you said you weren’t dating.

“We’re just…” You trailed off and shrugged.

“Friends?” He asked with a sad smile.

“Yeah. Who are really, really, extra friendly.” You smiled as you leaned in to connect your lips to his. Peter kissed you back and cupped your face to pull you closer to him. He gently laid you down on the bed and shot a web at the door to close and lock it.

“Do you treat any of your other friends like this?” He asked you between kisses.

“No. I save this all for you, P.”

“Good.” He smiled. “I want you all to myself.”

Cue PG-13 rom com level “morning after” shot where they’re tangled in the sheets and a soft song plays while they stare at each other.

“I should probably head back to my room.” Peter said, though that wasn’t what he wanted to do. Your eyes were shut and you were laying on his chest, tightening your grip when he suggested leaving.

“You don’t have to. If you’re tired, just go to sleep.” You said without opening your eyes. Peter looked down at you to see if you were serious but you were hardly awake.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t care.” You said through a yawn and held him tighter. Peter didn’t said anything and you got the feeling he wasn’t sure what he should do. You opened one eye and checked on him and sure enough, he looked as conflicted as ever.

“Yes. I do. I want you to stay.” You admitted. You felt Peter relax and lay his head back back on the pillow. He slipped an arm around you and held you close while resting his cheek on your head.

“Thanks. I wanted to stay.” He said softly.

“Shh. Go to sleep.”

“Okay. Goodnight.” He said and you could tell he was smiling.

“Goodnight, P.”

After a day where Peter didn’t see or hear from you, he was pleasantly surprised to see you in his doorway once the sun had set.

“Hey.” You smiled and waved to him.

“Hey. Come here.” He sat up and motioned you to come closer. You smiled and went to his bed to crawl into his lap. You straddled his hips by sliding your legs under his propped up arms and kissed him hello before settling into his arms.

“Missed you. I haven’t seen you all day.” He playfully whined as he toyed with your hair.

“I know. I was at the beach with my friends.”

“Was it fun?”

“Yeah. It was weird though.”

“Weird? Why?”

“When I was with them, I kept turning to my left thinking you were there.” You laughed shyly as you sat up to look at him. Peter scooted closer to you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“What?” Peter laughed too. “Did you forget I didn’t go?”

“No.” You shrugged. “I just found myself missing you. I wanted you to be there.”

Peter couldn’t hide the blush that painted his face when he heard that you missed him. He missed you all the time when you weren’t around, so it was nice to hear the feeling was being reciprocated.

“You can invite me next time. Then you won’t have to miss me.” Peter said with a shy smile.

“You wouldn’t want to hang out with my friends.” You laughed and shook your head.

“Yes I would. If you like them, I’d probably like them too. They’re an extension of you and I…like you.” He stumbled over his words and squeezed his eyes shut when he realized what he had said.

“Maybe I will invite you then. They’ve been dying to meet you.”

“So you talk about me to them, huh?” He smiled cheekily.

“Of course I do. I tell them about everything that’s ever happened to me.” You said causally. Peters smile faltered a little and you realized you accidentally made it seem like Peter was just another little meaningless detail of your life.

“Plus, they’re all jealous that I’m living with the guy I’m sleeping with and therefore get some every single night.” You added, making him smile again. But this smile was different. It was sadder this time.

“Is that what you refer to me as around them? The guy you’re sleeping with?” He joked but felt disappointed.

“No. I call you Peter.” You said simply.

“Oh. Good. That’s better.” Peter relaxed again and drummed his fingertips on your waistband.

“Why? What do you call me?” You wondered.

“I never know what to call you. I usually just end up referring to you as my girl.” Peter shyly admitted.

“I don’t hate that.” You shrugged, making Peter smile hopefully.

“You don’t?”

“No. I actually think it’s cute. It’s not as constricting as “girlfriend” but still lets people know I hold a special place.” You said and cupped his face just to get a better look at his. His hair was messy and his face was flushed

“Well, good.” Peter blushed under your touch. “I’m glad you like it. I’ll keep calling you that, then.”

“Good.” You felt your face heat up too as you looked at him. His expression changed from playful to serious as he tilted his chin up to kiss you. He kissed you long and slow, just because he wanted to kiss you. He didn’t expect anything from you tonight. He just wanted to be around you.

“Do you want to watch a movie? I was just gonna put on Grown Ups 2.” He said once he pulled away.

“But I’ve never seen the first one.” You said as you laughed at his choice of movie.

“You don’t need to.” He waved his hand. “All you need to know is that they’re grown ups and this is the second time they’ve done that.”

“Sounds perfect.” You laughed again and slid off his lap so that you could lay beside him in the bed. You snuggled into his side while he played the movie on his laptop.

You woke up the next morning in Peters arms. That wasn’t unusual for you, but something felt different about this particular morning. You sat up and rubbed your tired eyes before looking at his floor. The string of discarded clothing that usual dawned his floor the night after you slept over wasn’t there since all of your clothes were still on. You looked down at Peter and felt a sinking feeling in your chest. He stirred awake and slowly opened his eyes just as you were coming to terms with it all.

“Hey. Good morning.” Peter said through a yawn while he rubbed your back.

“We didn’t hook up last night.” You said, mostly to yourself.

“Yeah, no. We just watched the movie and fell asleep.” Peter shrugged and tried to pull you back down to cuddle. You pulled away from him and quickly got out of the bed.

“I should go. I didn’t mean to sleep over. Sorry.” You said as you backed up towards his door.

“I don’t care.” Peter laughed like it was silly. “You can sleep over whenever you want. You know that.”

“I know. But we’ve never just had a sleepover before.” You said and held yourself tightly. Peter could sense that you were freaking out about something so he got out the bed and put his hands on your shoulders.

“Hey, it’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything.” He assured you. You relaxed when Peter said that, which broke his heart. It did mean something to him, a lot actually. But you seemed like you didn’t want it to mean anything, so he pretended he felt the same.

The next day, you walked into the kitchen where the rest of the team was and went straight to where Peter was sitting. You’d relaxed about the night before and tried not to think about it anymore. You put your feet into his lap and stole a piece of toast off his plate while the other Avengers watched you.

“So are you guys dating now or what?” Tony asked casually as he popped a grape in his mouth.

“What? No.” You answered immediately. Peters head snapped to you when he heard how quick you answered and felt his heart sink.

“Yeah. No.” Peter nodded his head without taking his eyes off you. Tony gave Peter a look that said he didn’t believe Peter for a second.

“Really? Because I’m not sure if you know the definition of dating or not, but you’re following it exactly.” Tony said sarcastically.

“It’s just sex.” You shrugged, making Peter feel even worse.

“Is it? Because I’ve seen you doing plenty of non-sexual romantic activities together.” Natasha added in.

“So what? That doesn’t mean we’re dating. It comes with the package of being friends with benefits.” You replied all too quickly for Peters liking.

“I never really understood the whole “with benefits” things. If you like someone’s company enough to consider them a friend and also trust them with your body and desire them in a non-platonic way, why not just date? What’s the point of you two sleeping together every night and cuddling on the couch if you’re not gonna admit you’re in a relationship?” Pepper added in her thoughts.

“Because we’re not in a relationship.” You said definitively. “We’re friends who like to get a little extra friendly. That doesn’t mean I want to be anybody’s girlfriend.”

“Your generation is so weird. You literally are his girlfriend. Why can’t you just call it what it is?” Tony asked you.

“Because we’re not dating.” You laughed in annoyance. “And I don’t want to be dating. I just want to hook up. It’s really just that simple.”

“Yeah. It’s simple. It’s not complicated or confusing at all.” Peter added. He’d been silent for so long that you had forgotten he was there. You felt bad for getting so defensive without thinking of how it would make him feel.

“I don’t believe it. There is no way you two are doing what you’re doing and not catching feelings. You’re either lying to us right now, lying to each other, or lying to yourselves.” Tony replied. Peter looked at you to see how you felt about that, and you didn’t like it at all.

“This conversation is stupid. I’m disengaging.” You said as you got up and left the kitchen.

“It’s okay to want love.” Tony called after you.

“Disengaged.” You shouted back. Once you were gone, everyone looked at Peter tinder his reaction. It was very obvious to the room that he felt the exact opposite to what you said.

“I’m in love with-“ Peter began.

“We know.” They all said in unison.

That night, you were determined to put some space between you and Peter. So when he came and found you on the balcony, you kept your plan at the front of your mind and prepared to say no to any and all of his advances.

“Hey.” He said as he sat beside you.

“Hey.” You said without looking up from your laptop.

“Do you want to watch Grown Ups 1 and make out during the scary parts?”

“I’m not really in the mood tonight. Sorry, P.” You replied, already feeling guilty for how cold you were being.

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s all good.” Peter assured you. “Do you want to hang out at least?”

“I’m kinda busy tonight. Maybe some other time?” You asked and finally looked at him.

“Then can I just sit here and watch?” He asked in a soft voice as he sat on the edge of the desk.

“Watch me do homework?”

“I just want to be in your company.” He shrugged. You gulped and had to look away or else you’d cave in to those big brown eyes of his.

“Why?” You played dumb.

“I don’t know. Because I like to be around you.” He shrugged and felt his face heat up. You knew he was expecting the girl who said she missed him when he wasn’t around, but you couldn’t be that girl anymore. You had to set some boundaries before you ended up in a relationship.

“Actually, I think I’m gonna go to bed. I’ve done enough work today.” You said and shut your laptop.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah. I’m tired too. I’ll walk you to your room.” Peter said and followed you to your room. You turned to face him once you were in your doorway and felt a new sense of awkwardness between you.

“Well, goodnight.” You said and did finger guns at him.

“Goodnight.” He said and slipped an arm around your waist. He kissed your cheek and you felt yourself tear up at the kind gesture. He was being so good to you and you were being so cold. He turned to leave and you felt your heart following him out the door.

“Peter, wait.”

“Yes?” He stopped immediately and came back.

“Did you want to sleep here?” You asked and pointed to your bed over your shoulder.

“No. That’s okay. I can tell you want to be alone.” Peter said with no self pity in his voice. He was just reading your cues and for some reason, that made you feel even worse.

“And I can tell you don’t want to be. You can stay. We can be alone together.”

“Okay.” Peter smiled and went into your room. He climbed into your bed and you got in after him. You held him and let him be the little spoon to make up for being mean to him. It didn’t take long for Peter to fall asleep but you didn’t have the same luck. Your mind was racing with too many thoughts as you tried to figure out how your plan to put some distance between you and Peter ended up with him in your arms. The more you thought about why you couldn’t just reject him like he was any other boy, the more the answer became clear.

“Oh fuck.” You whispered. “I love him.”

Now that you knew you had fallen for Peter, you had to end things. You couldn’t keep sleeping with him now that you knew you wanted more. So when Peter woke up the next morning, you were already gone. He frowned in confusion and went into the kitchen to find you.

“Has anyone seen Y/n?” Peter asked the team.

“Your girlfriend is off on a run.” Tony said without looking up from his magazine.

“Without me?” Peter wondered out loud and walked out of the room. He walked back in a few seconds later with his finger in the air.

“And she’s not my-“

“We know.” Tony groaned and waved Peter away.

Peter hung around in the foyer until finally, you came through the door. You gave him a quick smile and went to walk past him without saying anything.

“Hey. I was looking for you.” Peter said as he put his hand on your stomach to physically stop you. He looked so different now that you knew you were in love with him. Someone you once considered your best friend now felt impossible to talk to.

“You found me. Bye.” You quickly dismissed yourself but Peter caught you by the arm and gently pulled you back.

“Wait. I didn’t expect you to be gone this morning when I woke up.” He said quietly so no one could overhear.

“I had to leave early. I wanted to run to clear my head.”

“You should’ve woken me up. I would’ve come with you.” Peter told you. You folded your lips into a tight line and he immediately read your mind.

“Unless you wanted to clear your head of me.” He realized as he added up all your recent behavior.

“Look, Peter, it’s nothing personal.” You sighed. “I’ve been thinking about it for a minute and last night confirmed it for me. I don’t I want to hook up with you anymore.”

“Oh.” Peter blinked a few times in shock. “Okay. Woah. Um, did I do something wrong?”

“No. I just think we should start seeing other people. I think it will be good for the both of us to branch out.” You lied. You couldn’t tell him how you really felt, so you had to bury your feelinsg under a bunch of lies.

“You want to see other guys?” He asked, sounded heartbroken at the thought.

“Maybe not right away. But I think you and I should go back to being just friends.”

“Are you sure I didn’t do anything? If I said something stupid in my sleep last night that offended you or something I’m really sorry. I get weird dreams if I eat too late.”

“It’s not that. It’s not anything. I just don’t want to hook up with you anymore.” You shrugged and struggled to maintain eye contact with him knowing you were lying through your teeth and hurting him in the process.

“Is that all we were doing?” He asked, making you freeze. That was never all you were doing. It was just all you would admit to.

“Yes.” You said after a long beat of silence. Peter stared at you for a long time to give you a chance to take that back and admit you meant more to each other then just a fling. But you didn’t have the courage to do it, so he just ended up disappointed.

“Okay. If that’s your decision-“

“It is.” You said quickly, wanting to leave before you started to cry.

“Okay.” He nodded and gave you a tight smile. He put his hand on your arm as if he was going to lean in and kiss you, but then settled for a soft punch on the arm instead. He walked away from you and you felt your heart shatter.

You were all called in on mission the next day that required you to take the jet. You got there first and bounced your leg as you waited for Peter. He didn’t come by your room the night before which you expected, but still felt disappointed over. Peter finally walked on to the jet and looked around for an empty seat. There was one right next to you, which you patted to let him know he could sit there. He looked at it for a second before going to sit somewhere else. You blinked a few times in confusion before getting up to go sit next to him.

“There was a spot next to me.” You whispered to him as everyone else buckled up.

“I know.” He said without looking at you. You stared at him for a while and tried to read his face but he was turned away.

“We always sit next to each other.” You said quietly.

“I guess I just don’t want to do that anymore. I want to sit next to other people.”” He replied. You knew he was referencing what you had said to him about seeing other people and sighed.

“I thought we were going to being normal.” You whispered. Peter looked down at his lap for a minute before looking at you.

“I don’t know if I can just switch back to being normal.”

“Why not? It was just-“

“I know.” He cut you off. “Just sex. Just a fling. Just a meaningless hook up that ended once I left your bed. Trust me. I know how you feel.”

“P-“

“I gotta go.” Peter got up again and went to go sit somewhere else. You looked up and could see Tony looking at you with a displeased look. You sighed and shrunk down in your seat, not talking to anyone else as the jet took off. You couldn’t even accuse Peter of being a baby over you not wanting to sleep together anymore because you knew it wasn’t about that. It was about you acting like your relationship wasn’t what it was.

The mission went smoothly from your part and you completed your jobs with ease. You circled back to find the rest of the team but when you got there, you found everyone but Peter.

“Where’s Peter?” You asked. Everyone avoided eye contact with you and a pit grew in your stomach.

“Where’s Peter?” You asked again and pushed on the person closest to you.

“He’s in the next room.” Steve answered you without looking in your eyes. You pushed past everyone and ran onto the next room to go find him. When you got inside, you found Peter on the floor in a pool of blood. Tony was using his suit to try and repair a hole in Peters side.

“What happened?” You asked as you dropped to your knees at Peters side.

“Who me? Oh, nothing. I’m fine.” Peter smiled weakly waved his hand.

“Fine? You have a bullet hole in your side.” You exclaimed and took his hand to let him know you were there.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t even hurt that bad.” Peter lied before coughing up some blood. Everyone piled into the room to see Peter and you could hear them winced and murmuring at the sight of him. He was bleeding out quickly and Tony’s nanite spray wasn’t enough to stop it.

“We need to get him to the jet.” You said to Tony, who was looking at Peter in despair.

“The jet? We need to get him to the morgue.” Sam mumbled. You grabbed a random rock and threw it at him.

“Shut up!” You screamed as panicked tears fell down your face.

“I was just kidding. Damn. She threw a rock at me.” Sam mumbled and kicked the rock.

“He’s really hurt. We have to get him to the jet.” You said and went to scoop Peter up.

“This is gonna hurt.” Tony warned him.

“A little or a lottle?” Peter winced.

“Lottle, kid.” Tony said apologetically.

“Oh. Joy.” Peter groaned as you picked him up. You ran with him onto the jet. You laid him down on the table while Tony got out the medical supplies on hand.

“I don’t have any Novocain. Can you distract him while I fix this?” Tony whispered to you and held up the needle he had to use to stitch Peter up.

“Distract him how?” You asked.

“I don’t know. He’s your guy. Talk to him.” Tony hissed at you and gave you a stern look. You backed down and nodded your head to show him you understood that it was time to grow up. Peter was your guy and it was time to admit that. You slipped your hand into his again and knelt down to be close to his face.

“It’s okay. I know you don’t want to talk to me.” Peter smiled while tears slipped down his face.

“Yes I do. I always want to talk to you.”

“But you haven’t lately. I didn’t think you wanted to be friends anymore.”

“Peter-“

“It’s okay.” He assured you. “It’s okay if you don’t want to be my friend. I just miss you. Thanks for holding my hand.”

“I need to tell you something, P.” You sighed and brushed the hair off his face. Peter was struggling to fight the pain of being stitched up but still gave you his full attention.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant lately. And I’m sorry I never explained why and just let you think you did something wrong. The truth is, I pushed you away because I was scared that our relationship was turning into more than just friends with benefits. I didn’t know how to handle the fact that this wasn’t just a fling anymore.”

“You never called it what it was.” Peter croaked out. “When the team was saying you were my girlfriend, you seemed angry that anyone could ever think that.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. I just got defensive because I was still trying to repress my feelings. I’m sorry I said all those things. I didn’t mean them.”

“What did you mean?” Peter asked quietly. Everyone was leaning in to listen but you pretended not to notice. You looked up at Tony and he nodded to tell you the time was now. You nodded back before looked down at Peter again.

“I love hooking up with you but I also love talking to you and hearing your opinions on things and the way you interpreted a song lyric or a movie scene. I love showing you shows I love and waiting to see which parts you find funny so I can laugh too. I love seeing your reaction to my stories and hearing about your day, even when you didn’t do anything exciting. I listening to the music you had in your iPod as a little kid and hearing what songs you could never forget the lyrics to, even if you tried. And if I love all those things, I guess I just love you. I freaked out when I realized that and thought if I stayed away from you, those feelings would go away. But they didn’t. I love you still.“ You told him. Everyone exchanged looks but held their tongues as your confession was heard through the jet. Peter broke into a smile that sent pain through his entire body.

“Normally this would be the part where I heroically kiss you and everyone claps, but I’m numb below my neck and about to pass out. So can you kiss me?“ Peter requested, making you smile until you saw the blood streaming from his lip and nose.

“You’re like…bleeding out of your nose and mouth.” You said with a smile so he didn’t know you were grossed out.

“Can you do it anyway? Please?” Peter asked and coughed up some more blood. You couldn’t say no to those eyes so you bent down and kissed him for a long time. When you pulled away, you gagged at the taste of blood in your mouth and Peter grimaced at the sight of his blood on your face.

“That’s gross. You were right. We should’ve waited.” Peter laughed and started coughing again.

“We’ll try it again when you’re cleaned up.” You assured him.

“Good.” He smiled. “But I’m gonna pass out now. I’ll see you when you wake up.”

Peter did in fact see you when he woke up. You had all made it back on the jet and rushed Peter to extensive care. By the time he woke up, he was healing nicely and all cleaned up. More importantly, you were right there in the doorway watching the doctor dress his wound. He slowly opened his eyes and saw you, then saw the doctor. He was about to ask him to leave to give you and him some privacy to talk about what you had said on the jet, but you beat him to it. You touched the doctors arm as you sat down on Peters hospital bed and held his hand.

“Excuse us, doc.” You smiled politely. “Thank you so much for the help. But I need a minute alone with my boyfriend.”

Tag List 🏷️

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @serendipitous-amor

@tom-hollands-wifey @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique

@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker

@every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave​ ​

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@thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe

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@heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey

[thebookanaconda]

Guess what I saw on reddit today!!!

[uhhhj13iguess]

thank you for saving me

liam dunbar x fem!reader

wc: ~2.5k

liam’s anxiety and IED isn’t explored and talked about enough in either fanfics or the actual show, so i tried to do this sweet boy some justice. he’s just trying his best

set in season 4, but definitely not too canon

"why did we get sent to the school, aren't we here enough?" you kicked your feet, looking for any sign of kate, or the benefactor, or any clue to absolutely anything going on in your life right now. you'd been scott's beta for all of a few weeks, and all of your spare time had been spent trying not to die. being a werewolf was definitely cool, but you had no idea how exhausting it would be. you'd come to the school with liam, hoping to find something, anything that would give you insight into any one of the millions of things going on.

liam chuckled, walking alongside you. he knew how important it was to find something, but he couldn't take his focus off of you.

the entire ride over he stared at you, watching how the moonlight glistened on your skin as you ranted to him. your hands rested on the steering wheel as you spoke and he admired your hands, how soft they looked, how beautiful your nails were. he watched the lines on your face intensify the more passionate you got about whatever you were talking about — liam didn't know. he didn't care, frankly. anytime you spoke, he was entranced by your oh-so-pretty voice, words having no meaning other than the butterflies they were leaving in his stomach.

you looked at him in the passenger seat, a smirk forming to contrast the flush on your cheeks. he was caught, he knew it. but he couldn’t find himself to mind. he smiled at you, a blush matching on his own face.

he straightened his shoulders out, checking behind him as he passed the chemistry lab. "I don't know, but I hope we find something quick and can get out of here."

you didn't hear what he said.

his fingertips brushed against yours as you walked together and your mind wandered from the plan for the thousandth time that evening. every time liam mindlessly brushed against you, all sight of what you were doing was thrown out the window. your survival anxiety was replaced with limerence, yearning for the touches to linger longer. butterflies flooded your stomach as his hand did just that. in fact, your own heartbeat overtook your senses as you felt liam grab ahold of your hand. you looked up at him, blushing like a madman.

“you had no idea how long —” he shushed you quickly, stopping you dead in your tracks and tilting his head, listening. you tried to tune in to whatever he heard.

liam knew the sound of those footsteps anywhere. they haunted him, not just in his nightmares, but out on the field, in the classroom — wherever he went, they followed. taunting him.

he turned around to see the creature trudging towards them. he felt the hairs stand on the back of his neck and the blood drain from his face. seeing the berserker in front of him again felt worse than he could've imagined, and he froze as the beast made his way towards the two of you.

"liam, what do we do?"

silence.

"liam? should we fight? should we run?"

"liam?"

liam watched in a haze as kira used her katana against the berserker, his vision fading in and out. there was a lot of things he didn't know yet, but these things had to be the craziest he had found out about so far. he didn't know what to do. they were so strong, so fast, and the wounds he'd been given weren't healing. he watched as kira was tossed across the roof like she was nothing.

his breathing quickened.

what was he supposed to do? how did scott do this?

he groaned at the pain, trying to push himself up, only to be kicked back against the electrical panel. his vision blackened and his panic intensified.

seriously, what was he supposed to do? he wasn't strong enough. he couldn't possibly do this. he-

"liam, look out!"

he came to, hearing your voice and feeling you shove against him. he let out a grunt as you took place where he stood: directly where the berserker was aiming his bone-covered fist. you let out a scream as you flew backwards, hitting the ground so hard the tiles shattered beneath where you landed. you clenched your abdomen immediately, blood pooling out of the gashes caused by the sharp bone pointing out of the creature’s knuckle plate.

you choked on your own words, fighting to stay awake as pain coursed through your veins. "l-liam..."

liam's body flooded with rage in a split second. his claws came out and he roared, sprinting at the berserker without a second thought. he threw punches, hard and strong, making the beast before him stumble back. it held defense against liam as he grew more powerful, his anger in seeing you hurt feeding his strength, adrenaline surging through him.

unfortunately, it wasn't enough to keep the berserker down for long. the beast threw a punch, sending liam flying into the lockers with a power ten times that of the beta. with his imprint heavy in the metal, he lay on the ground, spitting blood and scrambling to crawl backwards as the berserker stomped towards him. liam made his way to you, covering you from the incoming a attack, and trying to hide you as far in the corner as he could. as quickly liam flinched away at the berserker breaking into a sprint towards him, he heard the creature stop. he looked up to see it retreating out the high school entrance.

he took a deep breath, looking down at you and assessing the wounds in your side. worry flooded his senses, seeing you barely conscious and feeling how much pain you were in as he grabbed where your arm was holding your stomach. panic bubbled in his throat, breathing beginning to hitch and stagger as he pulled up your shirt to see your wound.

he grimaced at the sight. it was deep, bloody, and most importantly: it wasn't healing.

"shit, (y/n). why did you do that? it shouldn’t have been you, i, fuck."

you groaned slightly, unable to keep your eyes open.

"i'm... i'm okay, l-liam." you slurred out.

"please just, keep your eyes open, (y/n), we're going to get you some help."

liam's ears perked up at the sound of footsteps; this time multiple, yet not as heavy. whoever it was, liam was filled with dread. he needed to get you out of here, and he couldn't do that while fighting off someone else. he began to scoop you in his arms, apologizing relentlessly as you whined, half-consciously whimpering at the pain from being moved. he got to his feet, whispering in your ear that you were okay, that he was taking you somewhere.

"liam!"

his eyes shot up at the sound of scotts voice. he let out a heavy breath at the sight of scott, stiles, and derek running towards you.

"guys, please, she's really hurt. it hurt her, and, and, i-i, i don't know shes not healing. please, help her." he whined.

immediately, derek grabbed you and headed out the way they came. he yelled back on his way out, "I'll meet you guys at deaton's!"

scott whipped his head around to liam after derek had left. "what the hell do you think you were doing?!"

liam stumbled backwards. "w-what?"

stiles crossed his arms. "listen, i know you think you're all tough-guy mr. bad werewolf now, but in case you don't remember how your first fight went, these guys don't lose. and they're fucking huge! are you just stupid or something?"

"i don't she pushed me out of the way and i —”

"liam, why did you attack it? why didn't you run? you guys could've gotten way more hurt than you did. stiles is right, that was stupid of you."

liam felt defeated. not only did he freeze and get you hurt, but he was stupid enough to keep you there in that position while he freaked out on that thing.

he was embarrassed. they were right, he shouldn't have attacked the berserker. he was disappointed in himself, disappointed in how rashly he acted, and how quickly he let his anger take over him. this isn't what scott would've done; this isn't what he should've done. he felt ashamed, his body language following suit to reflect that. scott picked up on the scent change immediately, and his face softened.

"hey, liam —”

"no, you guys are right. i shouldn't even be a part of this, I just explode and mess everything up. I'm sorry, I, I don't know I just saw her hurt and I stopped thinking, I just got so angry and acted like a monster and I —”

"liam!" scott placed his hands on his beta's shoulders, giving him a reassuring look. "you were scared. you reacted, trying to protect (y/n). you're still new to all of this, you're still learning. you're not stupid. I'm sorry we yelled at you."

"no i definitely think he was pretty stupid —"

"stiles!"

"what? tell me i'm wrong, look at those things. even peter runs at the sight of them." stiles scoffed.

scott scowled at his best friend. "go easy on him, dude. we weren't perfect at this either. we still aren't,"

he turned back towards liam. "go, go check in on her. derek took her to the clinic. I'm sure she'll want to see you when she comes to."

liam hesitantly nodded, muttering another apology as he started towards the doors of the school.

"liam!"

he turned back to face scott.

"this wasn't your fault. you kept her safe, don't beat yourself up."

liam opened the door to see derek wide-eyed staring down at him. he barely opened his mouth before he was pulled into the clinic, stumbling in derek’s grasp.

"good, you're just in time.”

light flooded liam's eyes as he entered the exam room, (y/n) laying on the table, still unconscious. his stomach turned and he felt overwhelmed with anxiety once again seeing you lay there, helpless. scott's words of assurance echoed in his head, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. like he could've prevented this.

"in time? for, for what?" liam shuffled to the table where deaton and derek stood.

deaton wore a concerned face — almost apologetic.

"we need you to help hold her down."

liam was puzzled. you were unconscious; why would we need to hold you down?

"i dont understand, what do you mean?"

deaton looked to derek, sorrow painted across his features. “she’s not healing, and she’s getting weaker. it was good you helped get her here as soon as you did.”

he let out a hum, looking at you on the table. derek took over.

“when someone isn't healing and you need to trigger the process, there's a pretty foolproof way to get it up and running again,"

he sighed as liam still wasn't catching on.

"it's... it's pain, liam."

he watched the beta's eyes widen. "pain? no i can't, that's, no please I can’t see her hurt anymore tonight. this is already all my fault, I can't be the cause of any more pain, please, isn't there something else you can do? i, i can't —"

"liam,"

he stopped rambling, meeting derek's eyes. he'd never seen him so... empathic.

"liam, i get it. i know what it's like to be angry." he sighed and looked away.

"i used it as my anchor for years. after watching someone I loved die because of me, I didn't know what to do. i didn't know how to handle anything. so I got angry. and it consumed me,"

he stepped closer towards the teenager. "i know what it's like to feel like a monster."

liam looked down at the ground. he didn't understand what derek was telling him, let alone why he was telling him. he started to shake his head, but he was cut off with a hand on his shoulder.

"you're not a monster, liam. that anger? it makes you powerful. i told that to scott the day I met you — that you were strong. there's no reason your anger can't be used as an advantage. but that's only if you know how to control it and bring it out when you need it,"

"don't let it define you like it did me."

liam made eye contact with him. he heard derek's heartbeat: it hadn't faltered once this whole time. he took a deep breath and nodded.

"okay. what do you need me to do?"

deaton smiled, quickly ushering the two to either side of you.

"liam, stand by her head and hold her shoulders. she'll need a comforting face when coming to. derek, hold her legs. this isn't going feel great."

liam gripped hard on your shoulders. "wait, what are you —"

deaton didn't waste any time grabbing your forearm and pushing down, hard. the sound of bone snapping cracked throughout the room, causing a similar sensation in liam's chest. his eyes widened at the realization of what was happening.

you shot up with a roar, eyes flashing gold as you screamed in pain. you snapped your arms out of the grasp of those around you, your free hand flying to the broken, immediately resetting it with another painful wail.

with the bone back in place, you took a deep breath, panting as you slowly leaned back down on the exam table. everyone gathered around you, watching with hope as you grew more and more with it.

you lifted your shirt as a tingling sensation flooded your abdomen, all of you watching as the gashes in your side slowly started to patch themselves up. liam let out sigh of relief, staggering back a few feet as solace washed over him. you were okay.

deaton gave you a reassuring smile, patting you on the knee. "good to have you back with us, (y/n). i think we'll let you guys be for a second, you're safe here."

he and derek left the room, quietly discussing their plan for the rest of the evening. liam let his head hang in his hands, wanting to cry at the feeling of relief in seeing you heal. you saw him from where you were laying on the table, slowly sitting up with a whine to face him. he grabbed your arms, helping stabilize you.

"(y/n) i'm so glad you're okay. i can't tell you how afraid i was seeing you hurt. i don't know what i'd do with myself if anything happened to you, I don't, I just —"

you wrapped your arms tightly around his shoulders, hugging him as tightly as you could, not a thought in your mind on the pain shooting through your side. liam stood frozen, not sure what was happening. you let out a sob and held him tighter, causing him to instinctively wrap his arms around you.

"thank you for saving me, liam."

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 7

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Now that things were seemingly going back to normal with James, the time had come for the marauders' next prank. But that doesn't mean you weren't in for some surprises of your own.

wc [5.0k]

all chapters | <- Chapter 6 - Chapter 8 ->

Classes for the next day went remotely better, considering the fact that no more potions had exploded and you'd given up on trying to avoid James. It seemed like it was physically impossible to do. You supposed that made sense, since you'd had him in your life for as long as you were old enough to form proper sentences. It was hard to imagine your life without him, no matter how much it may hurt to be around him.

You were forcing yourself to ignore that feeling now and focus on this impossible prank you were trying to pull off. You and the rest of the Marauders were stationed out in one of the hidden passageways within Hogwarts' walls, one that led you right in front of the Slytherin common room.

You lit the dark passage with your wand, the others having lugged the shampoo bottles you'd filled with red hair dye in a makeshift sack within the invisibility cloak, much to your displeasure.

"Remind me why we can't just accio all the shampoo bottles to us and get the hell out of here?" Sirius dropped the invisibility cloak and the bottles with a cringe-worthy slam to the floor, a sound that echoed through the dark passageway.

"Of course, Sirius," chimed Remus, smacking a sarcastic hand to his head. "Why hadn't we thought of that before? Let's just accio every single bottle at the same time and-"

"Okay, I get it," Sirius grumbled, rubbing at the shoulder that'd been carrying the bottles. "Someone's cranky."

James rolled his eyes at him. "No arguing with Moony, it's almost that time of the month."

"I wasn't arguing, only asking a reasonable question."

"Enough talking you guys," you butted in. "If we want this prank to work we need to start as soon as possible, alright?" You took their silence for compliance. "We remember the plan, yes?" From what you could see in the darkness, the four of them gave you a nod, albeit unsurely. "Okay, good."

You peeked around the corner towards the Slytherin common room and watched as the door swung open, a first-year girl walking through the doorway. With urgent eyes, you gestured for Peter to carry out his part of the plan. He didn't budge.

"Peter," you whispered, nudging him in the arm.

He turned to you cluelessly. "Hmm?"

You held back a groan, watching as the heavy door shut behind the first-year, your opportunity disappearing. "Okay, so we don't know the plan then?"

Peter looked at you guiltily. "Sorry, I spaced out when you went over it the first time."

"It's okay Pete," chimed Sirius. "I did too."

It took everything in you to stay quiet and not scold the two of them. You were already nervous enough. "I'm gonna go over it one more time, so everyone listen this time." You heaved a breath in. "First we need to make sure we can get the common room door open. Pete, you're going to wait until a Slytherin opens the door, and then run out in your animagus form and nudge that stone on the ground over there into the doorway. Got it?"

You turned to Peter, who was listening this time rapt with attention. He nodded.

"Good. Then, all we need you to do is make sure the Slytherins' bathroom doors are open, and that way James can hold the main door open so Remus can summon the bottles, about a dozen at a time."

"What?" Peter's eyes were wide and shifting around unsurely. "I have to go into the dorms? No way."

"It'll only be for a quick moment, Pete," you said, trying to comfort him.

"Yeah," encouraged Remus. "And you'll be in your animagus form, so nobody will even notice you. You don't even have to go inside the bathrooms, just make sure they're opened a crack. You'll be in and out."

You all stared at Peter expectantly, watching as he seemed to mull over the plan in his head. "I don't know."

"What's the worst that can happen?" sang Sirius. "If anything, they notice a rat in the dorms and go yelling. But this school has had rats before, so."

James stared at Sirius with widened eyes. "Don't give him any ideas, Pads." He put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "It'll go great. If anybody can do this, Pete, it's you."

James's determined words mixed with the sincerity in his eyes seemed to work, something you figured came from all his practice giving pep talks as Quidditch Captain. It took him a moment, but Peter eventually nodded, though he still didn't seem perfectly convinced.

You you looked at him meaningfully. "We won't let anything happen to you Peter, promise." That seemed to help, and you finished explaining the rest of the plan to your friends hurriedly.

You stared at the four of them once you finished. "Is everyone good with the plan now?" You rolled your eyes as Sirius raised his hand.

"All I'm saying is, everything would been a whole lot easier if we just drank Polyjuice Potion and turned ourselves into Slytherins like I said."

Remus sighed. "I already told you that Polyjuice Potion takes at least a month to brew."

"Yeah," you countered. "And besides, did you want to morph into Marcus Craggy, or were you planning on making one of us do it?"

"Oh please," Sirius laughed like you were the crazy one. "Don't be silly. Everyone knows I would've turned into a girl. That way I could-"

You held up a hand, cringing. "Don't finish that sentence, please."

Another ten or so minutes went by, though the way some of the others were acting would've had you believe it'd been close to ten hours.

"Remind me again how much longer we're going to have to sit here for?" Maybe it was the stress you'd been feeling for the past couple of days, but Sirius's sass had never been as irritating to you as it was then.

You sighed. "We could've been halfway done already if you'd all listened to the plan the first five times I said it."

"Well, we wouldn't need the plan if you'd just gotten the passwords to the Slytherin common room from Vance like we asked you to."

You reeled at the aggravating topic that he and James seemed to love to bring up. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm serious."

You squinted your eyes at him and whatever joke he was trying to make in a moment you did find funny whatsoever. "How would I have even gone about asking for a thing like that anyway? It's completely ridiculous."

Sirius barked out a laugh much too loud for the setting you were in. "Oh please. The bloke obviously likes you. All you would've had to do is bat your eyelashes and he would've handed it right over."

You squinted at him annoyedly in the dark lighting. "What the hell are you talking about?"

To your surprise, James groaned, leaning back against the wall. "Enough Sebastian talk, please." His tone was grim and tight, contrasting Sirius's overly loud drawl.

"Come on Prongs, just because you're jealous that-"

"Shh, look."

You all stopped arguing at Remus's call, turning to peak back towards the hall where a Slytherin boy was entering. You didn't have any time to think over whatever Sirius had begun to say, your mind settling itself on putting the plan you'd spent so much effort trying to formulate into action.

"Pete," you whispered. "That's your cue."

Ignoring the fact that he looked like he was going to be sick, you watched as Peter took a shaky step away from the group and, before your eyes, morphed into a measly rat at your feet. The sight was never something you could get used to.

Just as you'd told him to, Peter scurried across the hallway behind the Slytherin boy and, right as the door to the common room was about to close, rolled the stone you'd placed on the ground into the doorway. When it shut behind the boy, you could see the gap in the doorway that told you your plan was a go.

"Alright Wormtail!" Sirius whispered from across the hall, and you all watched silently as the little rat looked back toward the four of you before scampering into the Slytherins' common room.

"Bless the lad," you heard Sirius say from behind you, sounding overly sentimental.

"Let's hope he won't need any blessings if everything goes according to plan." You let out a breath. "Okay, next step. We need to see where the prefects are on their rounds. Who has the map?"

You looked between the three boys, watching as they all stared back at you with blank eyes. Your mouth hung in disbelief. "Don't tell me we forgot the map again." At that point, it was getting harder and harder to keep your voice to a secretive whisper.

"Relax," said James, voice hushed. "Padfoot has it."

Sirius scoffed, turning towards the brunette. "Prongs, I think I would know if I had it-"

"Turn around."

Sirius frowned. "What?"

James stared back at him with a confident set in his eyes. "Just turn around."

"Really?" Sirius fawned with a smirk. "In front of all these people?"

James shook his head, though you knew he could never resist a dirty joke. He hid his boyish grin and cleared his throat, gesturing to Sirius curtly. "Pads, c'mon."

At that, Sirius turned around with his back facing you, and lo and behold, you could see the corners of the map peaking up helplessly from the back of his pants.

You put an exasperated hand up to your forehead, features twisting painstakingly. "Why the bloody hell is it in your pants, Sirius?"

Sirius looked back over his shoulder towards the map, face screwed up in confusion. "I honestly don't remember putting it there."

You stared at him for a moment in disbelief. "Well, can you take it out please so we can finish the prank?"

"Of course, m'lady." He flashed you a grin you absolutely did not like the look of. "You sure you don't wanna do it yourself?" James elbowed Sirius in the side, his smile swapping itself out for a roll of his eyes. "Alright, alright."

The three of you looked on as he contorted his body to reach for the map, his struggle not seeming anything but overdramatic to you as you waited impatiently.

"C'mon Pads," chided James as he went to reach for the map despite its location.

"No, almost got it." The site of him losing a match against his own pants threatened to make you laugh even with how on edge you were, though you dropped your smile when he finally pulled the map free, only to drop it. You watched with horror as it slid onto the ground, out into the middle of the hallway.

"Great." You sighed at the site of the folded paper sitting unguarded out in the open and the fact that you had no idea where the prefects were on their rounds.

"Don't worry," cooed Sirius. "I'll get it." He took a confident stride forward, but you put a hand out just as fast.

"No," you warned, not having faith in his stealthiness after what you just witnessed. "Just- just stay where you are. I'll get it."

With that, you checked that the coast was clear on both sides before stepping out of the hidden passageway and into the open corridor, ignoring the irritated look you knew Sirius was giving the others at your orders.

With your heart beating fast in your chest and a glance at the slightly ajar Slytherin common room door, you bent over swiftly and picked up the map. Once it was secured in your hands you could already feel your senses returning to normal, though that feeling left as soon as it came.

You stood back up and were face to face with a body in Slytherin robes, your reflexes hiding the map behind your back right away.

"Sebastian!" you put on a cheesy smile in greeting before you could even think straight, though maybe it was because seeing the familiar face gave you some relief.

"Hey," he greeted back, and then you watched him process the fact that you were in the dungeons all alone. "What're you doing down here?"

You spoke before you even thought about what to say. "I was, uhm, seeing Slughorn for some extra help. Felt extra motivated after yesterday." Nice one. How easily the lie came to you concerned you.

"That's great." Sebastian's voice was warm, though there was a tug between his brow as he glanced over your nervous figure. "Are you alright?" his frown deepened. "Did Slughorn say something?"

It took you a second before remembering what he was referring to. Your lie, right.

"What? Oh, no, he didn't say anything bad. I'm great, really." You nodded at him and watched his features lighten up again, and then you felt bad because of how much he seemed to really care, and about the fact that you were lying straight to his face. You'd been doing more lying than you would've liked as of late.

Right when you were about to say something else, maybe wish him goodbye, you heard a small clang come from the knight armor to your right, and you mentally cursed because it came right from where you knew the boys were hiding.

Crap, you thought as you remembered they were listening to everything. You'd almost forgotten. You spared a glance over to where you knew they were hiding out, and luckily couldn't see anything. Hopefully, that meant Sebastian couldn't either as he surveyed the source of the noise.

You turned back to him, offering a smile you hoped looked as genuine as you meant it to as you freaked out internally. "Well, it was nice seeing you, Sebastian," you said through tight lips. "Night."

He looked back at you with the air of confusion at your rushed tone but didn't question you. "Yeah, goodnight." He nodded back and you, trying not to look suspicious, walked past him as if you wouldn't turn around in a second once he left.

"Actually," he called, and you turned right back around fast enough to give you whiplash, trying to keep the map hidden behind your back. "I've been meaning to ask you something. I wanted to yesterday, actually, before we got interrupted."

"Yeah," you rushed in, cringing at the memory and mentally cursing James. "So sorry about that. James feels sorry too, about the whole potions thing, in case he hasn't apologized already." You said the last bit with emphasis because you knew he hadn't, even after all your chiding.

"It's alright, Madam Pomfrey didn't even have to do anything. And, I hope you fixed your emergency, by the way." He was referencing the 'emergency' that James had interrupted you over, one that made you fight shaking your head at the memory.

You only smiled. "Yeah, we did, thanks."

"Great," said Sebastian, and he put his hands in his pockets, looking visibly tense. Then he took one hand out to rub it over the back of his neck, not saying anything for a moment as you both stood in the hallway.

"Sebastian?" you called, and that seemed to bring him back to life.

"Right, sorry." He exhaled, looking at you meaningfully. "I guess what I've been meaning to ask was, would you want to go to the Hogsmeade trip this weekend? With me?"

You paused your thoughts, stilling at his words. Whatever you'd expected him to say before, it was certainly not that.

You didn't know what to say right away, or how to react. He was waiting for you to say something, and you definitely wanted to, but you just didn't know what. Something warm did bloom in your stomach though, and the shadows of a smile grew on your face because someone was asking you on a date. Sebastian Vance was asking you on a date.

"So?" Sebastian asked softly and you turned your attention back to him. You didn't know how long you'd left him standing there as you became lost in your thoughts, but looking at his hopeful eyes and friendly smile, you felt like the answer you came up with was plain as day.

"Yes."

"Yes?" he asked, and maybe you hadn't spoken loud enough, or maybe he was in disbelief, but you could see a smile breaking out on his face and it felt almost contagious.

"Yes," you repeated through a smile of your own. "I'd love to go on a date with you, Sebastian." Your eyes widened. "It is a date, right?"

He laughed, soft and quiet in the empty hallway. "Yeah, it's a date. That is, if you're alright with that."

You chuckled shyly, feeling unfamiliar in your own skin. Was this really happening? "I'm alright with that."

"Great." Sebastian clapped his hands together low in front of him, chest rising and falling steadily as if some great weight had been lifted from him. He looked almost radiant—he was a good-looking boy, might you add. "You know, I wasn't exactly sure you'd say yes with Potter and all."

You paused, smile swapping out for a confused frown. "What?"

Sebastian looked at you like then like he'd hit a nerve and was suddenly cautious. He put his hands in his pockets again, shrugging it away. "It's nothing, never mind."

You tried to make your face more casual and less alarmed. "No, really. What do you mean?"

Sebastian seemed to pause for a second in thought like he was weighing his options, before letting in. "It's just that, I don't know, I thought you and Potter were kind of an item. At least at one point. A lot of people do." His words seemed to flow out endlessly and you couldn't believe you were hearing them right. "And you know, with the rumors about you guys, er, in the broom closet and all, I wasn't sure-"

"On my God no," you cut in quickly, feeling both mortified with flames at your cheeks and angry at whoever started them. "Those were just rumors. Godric, I don't even know how they started. James and I are friends. Just friends."

Even if Marlene and Lily had always poked fun at you about the topic, you'd never actually thought about what others thought of you and James. Could they see your crush on him during all these years too? The fact that Sebastian had assumed you might be together made you feel ... you didn't know how it made you feel.

But none of that mattered now. What you said was true: you and James were just friends. You wouldn't let the possibility of anything else interfere with your love life, or your lack of one, rather. At least not anymore. You thought about what Sirius had said to you the other night and hated him slightly less for it.

"Well that's good to know," said Sebastian contently, taking you out of your spiraling thoughts. "So, I'll see you then?"

You were about to say "yes," and finally wish him a goodnight until a high-pitched and truly ear-cover-worthy scream sounded from the Slytherin common room. Not more than a second sooner did you watch as a rat, not just any rat—Peter—scurried out of the small crack in the doorway and down the hallway.

You'd momentarily forgotten where you were and exactly what you'd been in the middle of doing before Sebastian had stopped you, and the site of Peter was a blaring reminder. You thanked Merlin that Sebastian had his back to the door because somehow he hadn't noticed Peter running panicked right past his feet.

He turned to you in confusion and some horror. "What the hell was that about?" he looked between you and the common room door, laughing, and you laughed too, albeit nervously to mask your horror.

"No idea."

Thanks to the commotion that the rat spotting had caused in the Slytherin dorms, your carefully planned prank had, for lack of a better word, gone to shit.

Peter had returned to the boys' dorm early after the chaos of his being discovered and hadn't come back. None of you blamed him very much, though. Especially not after Filch's cat Mrs. Norris made an unexpected appearance on the Marauder's map, and you all watched anxiously as she chased him all the way back to the dorms.

"'Was bloody horrifying," shuttered Peter as he took a seat on his bed. You'd all headed back to the dorms once you realized there was no way you'd be able to finish the prank after that.

"We're so sorry Pete." You sat down on the bed next to him. "I really didn't think they'd notice you. They usually don't."

"Yeah," added Remus. "And I don't know how we missed Mrs. Norris on the map. It's our bad, really."

"Some first-year girl threw a book at me. Nearly missed my head!" Peter rubbed at the back of his skull as if he could still feel the almost-impact.

Sirius walked over, patting him on the head. "We'll get our revenge soon, Wormy. Don't you worry."

You stared up at him wryly. "We will not be 'getting revenge' on an eleven-year-old, Sirius."

"Of course not," he rang, patting you on the head too, which you batted away. "I only meant with the hair dye, is all." You ignored the wink you saw him give Peter as he went to sit on his own bed.

You watched as James walked into the dorm room last, sitting on his bed next to Peter's wordlessly. You all had a defeated air to you because of the failed prank, though James looked the worst.

"C'mon guys," you urged. "It could've gone a lot worse."

Peter shook his head from next to you. "Could it have? I almost got eaten by a cat."

"Yeah," Sirius said, tone sour. "Excuse us for being so down about that disaster of a prank. Not all of us scored a date from it, you know."

You looked down at your lap with a scoff. "I knew you wouldn't let that go."

"Did you really expect us to? I mean, really? That Slytherin bloke?"

"Oh my God." You shook your head. "I am done listening to you all groan about your house rivalry. Him being a Slytherin has nothing to do with whether or not I should date him."

Sirius looked squinted over at you, looking like he had a thousand responses on the tip of his tongue, but then he shrugged. "Okay, fine. But house aside, Vance is a total player."

You scoffed again in annoyance. "He is not." You traced back all memories of the boy in your mind and could think of maybe two other girls that he's dated. You rolled your eyes. "And I find it pretty ironic that you of all people are calling someone a player, Sirius."

He laughed, obviously finding the conversation much more amusing than you were. "Do you even like him?"

You were getting more worked up than you would've liked, confused as to why Sirius was challenging this so much when he was just lecturing you about never going on dates. "What is there not to like?" you retorted. "He's nice, smart, he's a great Potions partner-"

"But do you like him?" Sirius cut you off with a seriousness in his tone, looking at you challengingly. A silence filled the room for a moment, the others all sprawled around it as an audience to the argument you wanted nothing to do with.

You stared back at him, considering things in your head for a moment before answering. "Yes, I do." You put a hand on your hip. "Are you happy?"

Sirius didn't respond to your frustrated question, shifting his gaze to something behind you. "Prongs, what do you think about all of this?"

You frowned at the unexpected change of focus, following Sirius's eye-line over to James, who sat on his bed, hunched forward with his elbows to his knees. He looked pensive, maybe still defeated from the prank, but something unidentifiable simmered behind his gaze, seeming to harden it. You didn't know what it was and you didn't know what Sirius was trying to do by involving him either.

He was silent for long enough that you were beginning to think he hadn't heard Sirius, until he shrugged. "I just can't believe you're missing our first Hogsmeade trip of the year."

If there was anything you were expecting James to say, it wasn't that. You ran a hand through your hair. "I guess I hadn't really thought about that." You turned to James thoughtfully. "It isn't like I'll be gone the whole day. And there will be other Hogsmeade trips for us to all go to, right?"

"We always spend the first one together, though," James said, tone heavy.

"He's right," Peter agreed. "It's practically a tradition."

You sat back down on the bed, feeling tired. "What do you guys want me to do? Tell him I can't go out with him?"

"Of course not," Remus chimed. "We're happy for you. They're just saying they're gonna miss you being there on Saturday, is all." He stared at the others expectantly. "Right guys?"

It took a second, but they all nodded, some apologies muttered, and you'd never been so thankful for Remus.

"Thank you," you said sincerely. "That means a lot." You sat in thought for a moment, before an idea sprang into your mind. "Why don't we all go get butterbeers from the kitchen like we always do after a prank?"

"After a successful prank," Sirius corrected.

"Yeah, I don't know if I'm in the mood to celebrate." Peter looked like he was reliving the horrors of the rat fiasco in his head again.

"It would cheer you up though, wouldn't it?" You nudged Peter's side before standing up. "Come on." You pulled on his arm until he was standing up lazily, though you knew he was fighting a smile. "Let's go. The house elves would love it if we paid them a visit." You motioned for them all to follow as you walked towards the door, Sirius and Remus doing just that, but James stayed put. "James?" you called. "You coming?"

He looked up at you from where he sat, face seeming drained of any excitement at the prospect of his favorite drink, eyes avoiding yours. "I think I'll just stay back."

Your brows furrowed in concern at his dejected voice and unconvincing flash of a smile, and you took a step closer to him. "Are you sure? You never turn down a butterbeer."

His face had gone stonelike and revealed little to nothing, but you knew something was off. "Just don't feel up to it. You guys go."

You didn't budge right away, looking at your friend more closely in an attempt to figure out what was wrong, but Remus stepped in front of you.

"You guys head to the kitchens. James and I will catch up, just give us a minute."

You stood there, looking back and forth between Remus and James unsurely like there was some unspoken secret they both shared. Remus met your eyes, nodding at you assuredly, and you relented, glancing back at a confused James before leaving the dorm room. Sirius and Peter followed behind you.

"What do you think that's all about?" Peter asked as the three of you walked through the common room to the portrait exit.

"It's James," Sirius responded naturally. "It's probably either about Quidditch or Evans."

By the time the three of you all made your way down to the kitchens and ordered up five butterbeers, Remus had followed through on his promise and had James following him into the kitchen, though he looked a tad off. Not his energetic James self, his head was slightly hung forward with his hands in his pockets.

Remus took the spot next to Sirius at the table you sat at, and James took the spot next to you. You peeked over at him concernedly, but he didn't look up from wherever he was staring off.

"Alright," Sirius announced. "Now that we're all here," he picked up his butterbeer, "let's make a toast, shall we?"

"To what exactly?" asked Peter. "Not like we can toast to a good prank."

"I know," you said as you raised your glass. "To a great school year and successful future pranks."

"Yes," agreed Sirius. "And to many more hot Hogsmeade dates."

Laughter bubbled from Peter and Remus with your lips parting in alarm, though you were holding back laughter too. "Sirius," you chided, and he shrugged.

"Only being supportive."

With a roll of your eyes, your glass collided with three others, one glass missing from the toast.

"James?" you called. His eyes snapped up like he hadn't even noticed the conversation going on. You turned to him with a lowered voice that revealed your worry. "Is everything okay?"

He cleared his throat slightly, eyes not meeting yours, though you could've sworn he shared a look with Remus. "Yeah, sorry." He hurriedly raised his glass too. "Cheers," he added, and took a sip of his butterbeer that had his head tipping back.

The others seemed to overlook James's odd mood and conversation flowered regularly for the rest of the night, though you noticed time and time again James's offness in the way he talked less, or the times he'd space out or seem distant.

After some time the five of you headed back to the common room. Even during the walk back James was a few feet ahead of the group, veering off into his dorm room before you could even say goodnight. You stood there in uncomfortable thought, staring at the staircase he'd just climbed before Remus came to stand by your side.

"You alright?" he asked, and you could see from your peripheral the way he peered at you in curiosity.

"What happened back there with James?" You shifted to face him, watching as he waved an arm casually.

"Nothing, really." You gaped at him disbelievingly at his obvious avoidance of your question. "He'll be alright," he added under your scrutiny. "He's just having an off night."

"What'd you say to him to get him to come with us to the kitchens?"

"You just have all the questions lined up, don't you?"

You glared at him and his sudden annoying sense of humor. "Remus."

"Alright, alright," he chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets. "I just told him to lighten up," he shrugged. "Be happy for you, is all."

Your mind faltered, eyes widening. "You think he's upset about me?"

Instead of answering your question, Remus simply tipped his head down, a one-sided smile tugging at his lips.

"What?" You pried, feeling like there was some big joke you'd been left out on. Remus looked back up at you, shaking his head, but you were feeling more irritated than playful. "No seriously, what?"

With a knowing glint in his eye, Remus bowed his head before taking a step back towards the steps. "Night."

It took you a second to realize he was going off to bed and ignoring your question, leaving you clueless in the common room.

"Remus Lupin!"

Your shouts only met his back as he disappeared up the steps. You huffed. When Remus really wanted to, he had it in him to be even more aggravating than Sirius in a bad mood.

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