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readingrobin · 1 year ago

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Well, this month started out strong, but man I'm gonna need one hell of a break from reading, at least from the pace I've been going. This month saw the end of my summer reading challenge at work and I also participated in the Magical Readathon hosted by Book Roast. Fortunately, I was able to finish my TBR in time on the very last day, but it was close. I have to say, this month had some strong reads, particularly towards the end. It was most likely because I was starting to get into more spooky/horror reads with fall starting to creep closer and I'm all in for the vibes right now.

Total Books Read: 16

Total Pages Read: 4,698

Books Read:

Sing No Evil by J.P. Ahonen and K.P. Alare (3/5) - Sing No Evil's commitment to the metal aesthetic is what makes this comic stand out among other musically influenced graphic novels. I was already familiar with J.P. Ahonen, being a fan of his Belzebubs series, so I knew going in that I would love the art style. The characters are wonderfully expressive and the humor really comes out in their reactions, though my favorite bits are when the band really "gets into the zone" during their performances. There is a polished quality to the art, very clean and neat linework with a down to earth color palette. The colors get you into the mood for a fall read, perfect for the darker undertones of the story.

Speaking of, it almost seems like there are two plots constantly conflicting in the narrative, one about a band that is struggling to find their audience while dealing with issues from their interpersonal relationships, and the other about nefarious cannibalistic monsters brainwashing music lovers through possibly satanic jams. The two rarely meet harmoniously in the middle, with the latter plot only really taking hold until the last third of the comic, which is in desperate need for a weighty climax. I would have loved some more hints of the antagonists spread out throughout the story, just to make it more even.

Feed Them Silence by Lee Mandelo (3.5/5) - While coated in a constant state of melancholy and near hopelessness, Lee Mandelo's novella is a fascinating take on parasocial relationships and the emotionless nature of scientific study. Sean is a complicated, desperate, and at times unlikable lead, the whole story fueled by her selfish actions and lack of taking accountability. There was never a time where I outright disliked her, though, as I found it easier to pity her as she spirals more and more into loneliness and an odd sense of isolation, despite her connection with the wolf Kate. From the beginning, we see that her relationships are already on the verge of collapsing, as she doesn't have any friendships beyond her work life and her marriage is falling apart at a rapid pace. The link that she has with Kate is the only one she has any semblance of control over and only because she chooses so.

At several points in the story, characters remind Sean that she is neglecting other methods of connection, that everything else in her life is falling by the wayside without any kind of acknowledgment of how others' feel. Riya, her wife, said it best when she says "Sometimes I'm not sure you see anyone else besides yourself as a person." Every action Sean makes is to satisfy an immediate emotional need, even in actions meant to benefit Kate, as her possessiveness of the wolf comes from a false sense of ownership due to their one-sided connection. I enjoy watching messy characters be messy, so Sean's journey was especially interesting to me.

Grounded for All Eternity by Darcy Marks (3/5) - Who knew a ragtag group of kids from Hell could be so dang endearing? The book gives a whole new meaning to "suburban hell," which funny enough ends up looking not too dissimilar from those on Earth.

Mal and his friends are destined for big things. What those things are exactly is a bit cryptic at first, as we don't really get the technicalities until the last third of the book, despite it being written in Mal's voice. It doesn't feel like a grand reveal or like a mystery solved, just information that wasn't given to us earlier. The plotting of events in the story seems chaotic at times, retreading story beats and going down certain paths that don't really circle back to anything. It could have used maybe just one more round of editing to chop off the excess to help with pacing, but it gets back on track fairly quickly.

I'm always down for different interpretations of hellish beings or give a little shake up to any religious mythos. Here we have angels that reside in Hell to secure the evil forces within and protect the balance of reality. They're not demonic, devilish, or evil in any way, they just happen to live where the work is. It's a very middle-grade friendly version of Hell, detailing the various rings and which sins belong to which ring. We only ever see the more residential side, complete with diners, comic book shops, and movie theaters, so no need to worry about kiddies bearing witness to eternal torment before they can crack open some Alighieri.

The story itself is a very fun ride, full of magic and Halloween-type shenanigans as the kids find themselves on Earth, trying to thwart an escapee from the Pit looking to manipulate the people of Salem. It's spooky enough to satisfy anyone looking for an exciting fall read that may not scare their socks off, but will definitely get them in the mood for the season. The cover alone should snatch any passer-by's attention, and really, who can resist a bright red cover with three mischief makers on it?

Twisted Wonderland the Manga Vol. 1: Book of Heartslabyul by Wakuna Hazuki and Sumire Kowono (4/5) - For a manga based on a mobile game, I think the transition between formats has worked incredibly well here. The story is condensed in a way that makes sense for the plot, pacing, and newcomers and the incorporation of a proper main character with his own backstory and personality is actually an improvement on the source material. As someone who loves the game, one of its downsides is how you, the player, interact with the story and the characters. Even though your presence initially is what gets the story going, you almost feel sort of needless as it goes on and everyone talks around you more than to you. Instead, the manga gives Yu more weight and tangibility, which is necessary when going from an interactive game to a physical book that hinges on having personable, engaging leads.

The art is absolutely spot on, to the point where I had to double check whether Yana Toboso was doing it. Sumire Kowono does a wonderful job of matching Toboso's style, while also giving the world a new sort of dimension. It allows us to see these characters be more expressive and dynamic in comparison to their limited character models in the game. I'm really looking forward to seeing certain story beats played out in manga form, now that we can truly see the magic and power of the characters in action.

The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta (4/5) - I tend to rush through books in verse, but this is one I really wanted to settle with. Atta has such a rich voice that shines through Michael. You can feel every emotion, each heartbreak, each shining moment of confidence or pride. Even with so little words, every moment leaves an impact. Though I wasn't able to personally relate with the material through its exploration of racial issues or identity, I still found those moments and discussions incredibly valuable and enlightening.

However, what I was able to latch onto was the book's take on a queer experience. Atta portrays Michael's queerness through such a wide spectrum, whether going from being incredibly comfortable to navigating his gender expression and sexuality to fearing coming out to people he's known for years. Atta also captures other aspects of queer identity formation through the supporting characters, like internalized homophobia. I found it refreshing that Michael didn't go through a period of self hatred, but that Atta still approached those feelings through the other characters. It allowed for multiple queer experiences to be shown and validated and illustrated that everyone's journey to understanding themselves often takes different paths.

What word I would ultimately use to describe this book is powerful. Not only in its words and effects, but also what it gives the reader. It instills in them that they are the ones with the power over who they are and how they choose to express it. You have the power to live in a way that's best for you, not for anyone else. There is no power or freedom in compromising who you are for other's acceptance.

A Snake Falls to Earth by Darcie Little Badger (4/5) - Darcie Little Badger's writing style has really grown since Elatsoe, going from a simple, but effective structure to something that feels more lyrical, more set into itself. I think I was a little more swept away by this one, as the world building felt more defined. The Reflecting World is such an interesting setting, filled with animal people, monsters, and spirits, some good, some bad, some ambiguous. I think Oli's chapters stood out the most to me because I've always been fascinated by indigenous animal tales. It was neat to see a world inspired by those stories, as well as how it interweaves with the modern world. Nina and Oli's perspectives are balanced quite well, even if it takes quite some time for the two to overlap.

The book gives a great example of the precarious domino effect that climate change sets off, how it only starts with a fluctuation in temperature, then leading to an increase in dangerous storms and the destruction of habitats, which in turn effects the species living therein. It goes to great lengths to show how delicate that cycle is and how disastrous the outcomes can be. Little Badger makes the topic incredibly accessible to readers unfamiliar with the specifics of the issue, as well as ensuring that it doesn't come off too heavy handed.

Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson (3/5) - Paranormal girl gangs in fiction have always hit a certain sweet spot with me. It might be the camaraderie, it could be the tendency to use supernatural powers for sweet revenge on those that had wronged them, either way this element made the book all the more entertaining. There were points where I still didn't really buy the friendships between the girls, there were still too many moments of the bullies hanging onto their old ways even after some empathizing character development, but hey, that's just teenagers for you.

The witchy aspects take more of a precedence than the living dead ones as there is some focus on the specifics of rituals, their consequences, all giving off a vibe similar to The Craft. We even have a biker gang full of older witches and really it can't get much better than that. I don't know enough about the Wiccan religion to say if it was an accurate or flattering portrayal, since not all Wiccans define themselves as witches or vice versa, so just take that as you will.

If you've seen a good amount of murder mysteries, you'll probably get the twist right away. At some point it just becomes a process of elimination to figure out who the killer is, and that becomes very simple when the cast itself isn't too large. Still, it didn't detract from the intensity of the reveal or the follow up. In fact, the spiral we see the killer go down was very much 0-60 in nothing flat. At least that does something for the creep factor.

Dragon Pearl by Yoon Ha Lee (3/5) - I'm not sure if this title hit as hard as some of the other Rick Riordan Presents books. That's to be expected of course, as there are different writers and genres at play here and they're all going to have their own style. This one does something interesting, tying together Korean culture and mythology with a sci-fi setting. Very rarely do I think I see fantastical elements in space, such as ghosts and shapeshifters, but I think it's done well here. It's evenly balanced so you don't have too much of one or too little of another. It's also nice to see a mythology represented that I don't see too often, which is really what this imprint is here for.

Min is an…interesting lead. She goes through the story with few repercussions or consequences, saying that it's unfair for foxes to be treated as liars and manipulators, but has no qualms about using her powers to Charm people. I think these contradictions make sense for a thirteen year old, one that's prone to being somewhat impulsive. But I think things just came a little too easily for her. There were a few too many conveniences that sort of pulled me out of the story and I think the gaining and using the magical macguffin was a little too clean.

Selected Poems of Gwendolyn Brooks by Gwendolyn Brooks (4/5) - I was drawn to this book after reading Brook's memorable, moving piece "To the Young Who Want to Die." It was one that really resonated with me and I wanted to see if he had any more writing that was just as striking. Fortunately, this book contains multitudes.

Brooks' work, at least in this collection, touches on a variety of themes, such as war fatigue, class struggles, racial tensions, womanhood, maturity, etc. I'm not going to lie and say that I understood each poem right off the cuff. Her voice is rich, emotional, and lyrical, something the ear has to be trained for to listen and understand. Some had clear, overt messages and stances, where others deserve a bit more time to study. There is nothing cryptic in what Brooks wants to achieve with her writing, so once you're used to the language you can catch on pretty easily.

I have favorites from all over this collection, like "And if Sun Comes," "The Lovers of the Poor," "Men of Careful Turns, Haters of the Forks in the Road," "The Crazy Woman," "In Emanuel's Nightmare," etc. There is such profound emotion here that each poem feels like a release or a catharsis, a way to unleash pent up feelings while also informing the reader of very real issues and sentiments. Her writing has a down to earth quality, her words not sending you to this heightened plane of beauty and wafting poetics, but simply revealing what has been in front of you the entire time.

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree (3/5) - (Review)

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor (4/5)- Listened to the audiobook as a way to remember what happened in the series before I start on the final book. I think I enjoyed it about as much as I did the first time around and that final gut punch at the end was still so effective. There is so much creativity in this series, especially in the world building and characterization of the seraphim and chimera. Taylor's worlds always feel so expansive, even if we remain more on Earth at this point in the series than the more fantastical ones. If anything, I think the romance aspect didn't really do much for me, since it comes on a little too quick, or maybe it was just a case of me zoning out while listening. Either way, still a solid start to an immersive, engaging series.

How Do You Live? by Genzaburo Yoshino (4/5) - I have such a range of feelings for this book. While written in a way that might not be so accessible for the modern tween, it's insightful, profound, meaningful, reflective, and ultimately believes the truth of its message. It reads like The Little Prince in so many ways, albeit more domestically, displaying some deep truths in life in a way that resonates with young and old readers. Sure, there are several points where it feels like the characters are just a mouthpiece for the author, especially the uncle, but to read this book knowing the context of the time in which it was written makes it feel a little less overbearing.

Copper's internal journey throughout the book was such a poignant one, reflecting on his place in the world, his connections with others, and how he will ultimately contribute to the world. The benefits of selfless thinking, of being aware of all that we're tied to, and how our actions affect everyone around us are natural themes in coming of age stories, but there's something here that makes them truly resonating. I think it may be the added history of this story being released at a time where free thought in Japan was criminalized, where the military was gaining more and more power. Its intent to inform youth on ethics, philosophy, and self reflection seems innocent and earnest without being patronizing or condescending. It's a book that treats its readers seriously, which feels like a hard to come by quality at times in youth fiction.

Mysteries of Thorn Manor by Margaret Rogerson (4.5/5) - This novella was the kind of post climax, settling down sort of fluff that I always love reading, an extended epilogue that sends the main characters beyond what we thought was the final page. It was nice to see the characters reacting to a more personal, domestic sort of conflict, Elisabeth facing it sword first, Nathaniel with his playful wit, and Silas' calm, but sometimes scary dutifulness. There is a more laid back quality to the story, but Rogerson still makes some room for emotion and tugging on some heartstrings. I was a big fan of Silas in Sorcery of Thorns so I was glad to see some more focus on his character, glimpsing into his history with Nathaniel's family and a sort of tragic aspect to his being. He also gets a lot of big laughs, what with his slight snobbery and high butler standards.

At this point, I feel pretty confident that I will eat up anything Margaret Rogerson writes. Her characters are just a joy to read and I can't get enough of them. I think this series so far has ended on a pretty sweet note, so it feels like a continuation it's needed, but I sure as hell would want one if it were in the cards.

Hellaween by Moss Lawton (5/5) -

Mid-2000s Hot Topic core mixed with Halloween goodness is really all I've ever wanted in a graphic novel. Everything about this comic, from the Invader Zim-esque character designs, which are fitting given that the creator has worked on the Zim comics, to the characters that are 50% snark, 50% feral gremlin energy. I love me a trio that all share a collective brain cell that is oftentimes misplaced. Really, I don't think I've been this satisfied by graphic novel in a while in terms of a story just having absolute fun.

If I were to have one critique, I would say that the beginning starts on a somewhat shaky note. Gwen seems to have met her monster friends before this story takes place and each time they reference their first meeting I felt a little lost, wondering if there was a piece of the story I was missing out on there. Fortunately that feeling doesn't stick around too long as shenanigans ensue immediately.

Also, having a nonbinary werewolf main character is definitely a good way to get me to put an instant five stars on anything.

Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman (5/5) -

I had such a unique experience while reading this book. I felt totally engrossed within the mind of Sol Katz, a trans vampire archivist in their 40s constantly finding himself at odds with the world around him. Whether it's through the transphobic remarks made by his coworker or the lack of accommodation he faces at work, society has a way of making him feel out of place. I loved the framing of vampirism as a chronic illness, something that Sol didn't choose to happen to him yet it's something he has to plan his entire life around. It grounds the book from being an overt monster fantasy, leaning more towards focusing on someone just trying to make living work for them.

It's definitely more of a character-driven story, as the plot slowly unfurls in the background until maybe the last fifty pages. Going into the direction of a haunted archive seems like a natural route to go down, but the way in which Fellman does it feels so creative and emotionally investing.

I don't think it's a book that's going to work for everyone. It goes into topics like the process of archiving, fanfiction culture, gender journeys, all topics that can be so personal. I was able to relate to so much of it, so that's probably why I'm giving it such a high rating. There's a sort of lugubrious, cerebral tone throughout the book that makes it seem slower than it really is, but that's another quality that really endears me to it. The book makes you feel like you're just watching someone's life, it's not spectacular or particularly revolutionary, but it's their's. Though it has its differences, Sol's life shares the same goals as most of ours: find purpose, sense of self, love, fulfillment, belonging, etc.

Lockwood and Co.: The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud (4/5) -

Jonathan Stroud built such a robust, engaging world with Lockwood and Co. It can be eerie, unsettling, and dangerous, where the dead stalk the night and range from being just an uncomfortable nuisance to full on murderous. Having only children being able to see ghosts gives our main characters a good amount of power and agency in the story, though Stroud is good about not painting all adults as pathetically useless. I was a bit confused a bit as to when this story takes place, as it has a sort of timeless quality, but does mention a few modern things here and there. It kind of falls in the same place as A Series of Unfortunate Events at times, where the time period is generally whatever it wants to be.

The writing is effectively creepy at points, giving a good introduction to horror to younger readers looking for a bit of chill. I don't think it's too much for a middle schooler, but that's coming from an adult that was watching things at that time that they probably shouldn't have. Still, it's a great ghost story that leads our characters into pretty precarious situations.

As always, what would a middle grade fantasy series be without a core trio. I liked Lucy's clear, empathetic voice as she narrates the story, with the charismatic Lockwood and persnickety George at her side. There's a bit of casual fatphobia with the way George is described at times, which is a bit of a downside. They bounce off another fairly well, though, and at least have a entertaining dynamic.

Average Rating: 3.81/5

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razberryyum · 5 years ago

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 9, Part 1 of 2

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 28 and 29…kinda…well, the Yue Yang Chang sect murders was introduced in those chapters, but it is different from how the show presented it]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰 +🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰+🐰+🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰��

(so I decided to come up with a more organized way of scoring on the WangXian meter cuz I was starting to confuse myself: for every scene they’re in together or if they’re even thinking about each other, one 🐰 is automatically given; one scene can earn up to 5 🐰, depending on the intensity of their interaction or thoughts of each other. And I’m gonna separate each individual scene with “+”. I didn’t mean for the grading to be an exact science but I think making it less arbitrary is definitely better…at least for my poor dumb brain)

I have a couple of favorite WangXian scenes from this episode, the one above is the first of them. When Wei Ying defends Lan Zhan from Jiang Cheng, I love how the camera then lingers deliberately on Lan Zhan’s reaction for just a second more; I swear if Lan Zhan was the blushing type, that would’ve been the moment for him to turn red like a tomato. That reassuring smile Wei Ying flashes at him could probably melt all the glaciers in the world and drown our planet, how can any mere human being resist that? That small beam of absolute sunshine had to have made Lan Zhan’s knees go just a little weak and his stomach do a tiny flip flop. It’s moments like this that make me marvel all over again at how perfectly cast Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo are in their roles: XZ with his dazzling megawatt smile and WYB with his beautifully nuanced stoicism are truly Wei Ying and Lan Zhan come to life. Even though I was already attached to their performances by this point, I wasn’t truly able to appreciate just how great and perfect they were as the embodiment of their characters until after I read the novel, and now I’m just in awe all the time as I watch them on screen.

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s little yin metals expedition is really the gift that keeps on giving: despite having to deal with a few (lovable) third wheelers hanging around them, they were still able to further strengthen their bond. I think this is clearly as evident by simple little moments like how often they looked at each other for affirmation. What’s amazing about that is Lan Zhan basically went from refusing to spare Wei Ying a glance even when he was outright clamoring for attention to constantly training his eyes on Wei Ying at every turn. I really can’t get over how effectively Team CQL was able to show the progression in their relationship and Lan Zhan’s feelings towards Wei Ying by just showing these minor differences in the way they interact from before. Watching the change in Lan Zhan is of course the most fascinating aspect of this early part of their relationship because you can track how he’s clearly being overcome by the force of nature that is Wei Ying. I especially enjoy seeing the way he gets perturbed and maybe even jealous by the intimate way Wei Ying interacts with others. Take this moment when Wei Ying is offering protection to Nie Huaisang:

The way Lan Zhan’s eyes focused on the way Wei Ying was holding onto NHS’ arm and that resulting sour look on his face really says it all. And then, shortly after when they left the cave, as Wei Ying was trying to assure NHS, Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing that they were protected in the magical net he created, I actually guffawed when Lan Zhan could be seen just walking off behind him, as if he’d had enough since he just finished watching Wei Ying being rather familiar with Wen Qing.

And then when they were in the forest trying to hunt down Wen Chao’s owl, it’s almost as if Lan Zhan’s disgruntled mood stayed with him since even though they were in close proximity, when Wei Ying started calling out his name, he refused to answer. First time I watched that scene I remember thinking, wtf’s wrong with Lan Zhan, why won’t he just respond to the poor guy who’s obviously worried he lost him in the fog? But now I feel it was a deliberate choice to indicate that Lan Zhan was annoyed at him.

Because Lan Zhan is not the type of person to be open and friendly with everyone, I really do feel now that it probably did bother him a lot that Wei Ying was a complete opposite to him in that sense, and as he watched Wei Ying carelessly be equally and almost selflessly kind to everyone around him, his frustration with that aspect of his personality gradually built up over time, culminating in what he later says to Wei Ying about Mian Mian while they’re in the Xuanwu cave. I can easily imagine Lan Zhan thinking, if he’s like this to everyone, does that make the way he treats me meaningless? It’s a really sobering thought especially from Lan Zhan’s point of view, but it also justifies why he still ran cold from time to time when dealing with Wei Ying because he was probably holding himself in check, constantly reminding himself that he’s just the same as anyone else in Wei Ying’s life, so he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Thinking about how much inner turmoil Lan Zhan put himself through even before Wei Ying’s death as he tried to grapple with his budding feelings for Wei Ying always makes me feel a little weepy because of how much my heart aches for him. It really makes me so grateful that at least he had Big Brother Xichen to talk to, which also makes me love big bro more for being so understanding and encouraging. The alternative would have just been too unbearably sad.

Ugh, and now I just made myself sad for no good reason. Seriously, on a daily basis, I actually get into a near weepy state for WangXian at least once when I think of all the suffering they had to go through before they finally got their happy ending. If MXTX-laozi’s other novels are going to do the same thing to me as MDZS/Untamed has, I probably need to start saving money to seek professional therapy once I’m done reading Heaven Official’s Blessing and Scum Villain (and I’m desperately trying to carve out time to read them soon).

Anyway, back to this episode: I have a soft spot for seeing my OTP standing back to back in a scene since I think it’s a very effective and sweet way to convey their support and solidarity with each other, nothing says “we are in this together” than two people having each others’ backs, so seeing their stance in the forest really warmed my heart.

I also loved that they eventually teamed up to fight against Wen Chao’s forces. It would not be the first time they fight together, but it is one of the few times that Wei Ying gets to do so with his sword. I think the next instance of that happening is the Xuanwu cave before it’s all over and he is only able to use his flute, so I really treasure moments like this now, especially since they have such pretty moves.

Every time Lan Zahn and Wei Ying fight with their swords it looks like they’re dancing. I love how Team CQL always makes sure to choreograph in ballet twirls into their fight sequences, even when it’s not quite necessary, such as this moment back in the cave when the two of them twirled away to get away from the ghost puppets:

A BIT on the dramatic side, but hey, I’m not gonna complain when Lan Zhan and Wei Ying looks so damn good doing their twirls.

WeiQing Watch 2019

I said I was going to keep track of the WeiQing love story that Team CQL was going for way back before MDZS fans thankfully put a kibosh on their plans: here’s one such moment that I think can serve as evidence that they might have been cooking something up between Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing. It’s not just that Wei Ying was holding on to Wen Qing’s wrist for a longer time than necessary—Wei Ying’s a touchy-feely guy, he grabs on to everyone anyway—it’s Wen Qing’s reaction to what he did that gave me pause: she in turn holds on to her wrist in the exact spot where his hand was for a longer time than necessary. I’ve watched enough Chinese dramas to know that that is usually an indication that feelings are being stirred up from physical contact. Wei Ying’s awkwardness at realizing what he was doing was interesting too, it’s as if he suddenly remembered Wen Qing’s a girl. Since I do believe that Team CQL did end up keeping the aspect of Wen Qing’s characterization where she is in love with Wei Ying—there’s no other logical explanation for some of Wen Qing’s reactions to Wei Ying otherwise—I think this moment might have served as the catalyst for the feelings she develops for him. It was already obvious that she was concerned for Wei Ying before this: she not only tipped off Jiang Cheng to his whereabouts but then she also joined in on the rescue herself, despite knowing what consequences she may face. I know her explanation for her generosity was because Wei Ying saved Wen Ning’s life and this was her way of paying back that favor, but it’s really a hollow excuse considering the larger predicament she was essentially putting herself, Wen Ning AND her clan in: she had to know she was endangering all her loved ones’ lives by helping Wei Ying. I know she saved Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang as well but based on her later actions, I think at the end of the day, her concern really was more for Wei Ying. Much like Lan Zhan, Wen Qing was already starting to fall for Wei Ying, and really, who can blame her?

To be Continued in Part 2...(posted)

#The Untamed #陈情令 #spoilers #WangXian #Untamed Rewatch #Mo Dao Zu Shi #CQL #MDZS #魔道祖师 #Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #Founder of Diabolism #WeiQing #Wei Ying Wei Wuxian #Lan Zhan Lan Wangji #Wen Qing #Nie Huaisang #Lan Xichen

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heartfeltheart · 5 years ago

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Alchemy: Tiny Steps

Chapters: 10/45 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Pro!Snape Series: Part 2 of 9. Summary: Part two of the Alchemy Series. Politics. Either you love it, hate it or you live it. For Alchemy Teacher Edward Elric, he lives it, hates it and loves it when he gets the upper hand. Here is to another year of hell… D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

Draco watched in awe as he watched Princess Mei use her own from of Alchemy to heal Mr. Elric. He had wanted to see what the Princess had on planned for the wounded Alchemy Professor. Of course, the Malfoy wasn't going to outright ask if he could be present. From what he learned, alchemy is a secret art and knowing too much is highly dangerous. Which came to a huge surprise when Professor Elric placed his hand on his shoulder and guided Draco to the room where the supposed healing process is going to occur.

Mr. Elric laid on the floor and Draco cringed when he saw the princess pulled out several knives that had ribbons tied to each of them, and stabbed them around the eldest Elric's head. A bright light enveloped Mr. Elric as Princess Mei, from what Draco assumed, healed him.

"This is called Alkahestry, it is also called Purification Arts. It is a different sort of form of Alchemy, in terms of practice and goal." Professor Elric explained to the curious Draco Malfoy.

"How are they different?" Draco asked, not taking his eyes away from what was happening in front of him.

"It is in chapter 22 of my DRAFT!" Mr. Elric squeaked out his last word when Princess Mei poked his stomach. "I can't feel my legs!"

"Don't move."

-.-

"Tell us who and what exactly they are?"

"Who? Which ones? Depending on who will decide what my answer is." Severus nursed a glass of firewhiskey, Demon sleeping on his lap. "Keep in mind, I have no clue what their bodyguards are."

The Princess's bodyguards had made themselves scarce, the house elf had made several comments on how they sensed something wrong with them. The only times they ever made an appearance is during breakfast, lunch or dinner. Or whenever they want something from the kitchen and to check on their charges. Even their mere presence made even the Head of the Malfoy family is wary of them. For now, any questions regarding them will be put on hold.

"Who exactly are the Elric Brothers?"

"Ah… Well… Do you want the long or short version? Keep in mind I do not have all the answers that concerns them, they are… rather secretive." Severus held his glass against his forehead in an attempt to ward off any upcoming headaches. "Merlin knows it takes a lot for them to open up about anything…"

"Short version?" Lucius replied with a bewildered expression.

"They did something stupid and the end result of trying to fix a mistake is Edward no longer able to perform Alchemy."

"What did they do?"

"What they attempted to do the ultimate taboo in Alchemy, it backlashed on them and resulted to who they are today."

Lucius frowned. "Long story?"

"They're idiots." Severus deadpanned. "Irresponsible, pathetic, weak-minded and far too intelligent fools whom were tempted by the darker side of Alchemy. They defeated their demons and proceeded forward to fix their mistakes while becoming the young men whom we see today."

"That's it? Details?"

"I made the promise to not talk to anyone about this without Edward's approval."

"Don't tell me… He expected I would ask you questions?"

"Edward may act like an idiot, but he's anything but that. There are more pieces to the puzzle he keeps hidden away from the world."

"Do you believe Draco is capable of doing Alchemy?"

"…Keep in mind that the eldest Elric has no filter and does not follow proper etique-" Severus was caught off when a familiar scream ranged out throughout the manor. It was quickly followed by a not so familiar scream.

"WHY THE FUCKING FACE!"

"BIG BROTHER! BEHAVE!"

Severus took in a deep breath before he swallowed down the rest of his drink. "Keep in mind they are ambassadors…"

-.-

Edward cursed under his breath as he rubbed his face, it no longer stings but now felt numb. Mei apparently learned to cut off certain points in the body causing paralysis. At least there won't be any scaring from the magical dog bite.

The Alchemy Teacher looked over his shoulder to see Draco scanning through the chapter that went over Alkahestry and would quietly ask Alphonse questions on the topic. The young Malfoy had truly taken on learning Alchemy and now Alkahestry. Here's to hoping that his attitude's changes otherwise this will be a waste of time.

"Hoot?"

Edward looked up to see Xerxes land on top of his head and looking down at him with a questioning look. "What?"

"Hoot?"

"We're going to the Ministry tomorrow to start out with the dealings with the Magical Morrons."

"Hoot, hoot, hoot?"

"Don't remind me, we still need to get Madam Bones into office. Once she's in then it'll make dealings easier on everyone."

"Hoot."

"Ling should be coming here around two weeks. Until then we have to cover as much ground as we could."

"Hoot!"

"I don't know, the kid shows real potential… long as he stops using his family name and change in attitude on everything to everyone."

"Hoot~"

"Ugh… spoiled bird."

-.-

Madam Amelia Bones sat in her chair as she waited for everyone else that was required to attend the meeting to arrive. Kingsley Shacklebolt is standing on her left, keeping an eye out on everyone else in the room and on her right is Alastor Moody who kept muttering about the guests of honor. Said guests of honor are the Ambassadors from Amestris and Xing, a princess for the latter's country and two bodyguards.

The Elric Brothers are conversing with their bodyguards, laughing quietly at whatever the Princess of Xing giggled out. The corners of the eyes of the youngest Elric brother will crinkle whenever he looks at his fiancé, his eyes filled with hidden adoration. Some will swear his eyes had seen the horrible aspects of life. All of that will go away whenever he catches the eye of his fiancé. It was a lovely sight, it reminded Bones of her later brother and sister-in-law. Young love… She already had a received an invitation to their wedding that was set in a few short years.

"I still don't trust them." Moody growled under his breath, keep both eyes on the foreign Ambassadors. "Something doesn't feel right about them."

"Come now, Alastor." Shacklebolt attempted to get the Auror to stop growling at their guest. This was just an informal meeting, to get the ball rolling to where everything stands. The official meeting will occur once Minister is selected. Amestris and Xing had made it known they will not fully agree onto anything as there is a fear the new minister will attempt to change everything that was set. "There is nothing to fear about them."

"Long as you do not threaten, lie, deceive or use them for our own gain, then there is nothing to fear. If it does occur, run. Their bark is equal to their bite." Bones reached over and picked up a cup of hot tea that was set for her. "They do not even require Alchemy or Magic to hurt someone. Let's not even start with what they will do politically against us."

"You make it sound like you would prefer a head on war against them." Moody growled under his breath, not liking on how Bones is reacting towards their supposed guests.

"They are trying to prevent an upcoming war and changing our views of the world along with theirs." Bones murmured into her tea, shooting Moody a warning glare. "They are allies and I expect you to treat them as such."

"They made rather close friends with the Malfoys…"

"They are staying in their residence for the remainder of the summer."

"Why couldn't they stay elsewhere? Why there?"

"Politics."

"Bah!"

-.-

"We will not finalize anything until the whoever becomes Minister, becomes the new Minister." Edward shrugged with a loud yawn, ignoring his brother's hidden sigh of defeat. What? Who can blame him, politics are not his thing. "Last thing we need is the new person in charge changes everything once they are appointed. I have seen it happen… it sucks."

"What my brother is trying to say is… we will continue on with the negotiations until we could all agree to one thing or another, without the fear of someone changing everything for their own gain after everything is supposedly said and done."

"Blah, blah, blah! We all know that the majority of everyone I have come across are not happy at the fact I am a… muggle…" Edward face scrunched up in disgust at the face he used the one word he hated ever since he first heard it. He picked up his own cup of tea and took a huge mouthful of it; face scrunching up at the taste. There was something very off about his tea. Something very off. "Along with the face Amestris is a giant black hole for magic. No magic and everyone starts freaking out! Don't even get me started with politics there and here!"

"…Again… I apologize for my brother's behavior. He's just cranky, I put milk in his tea when he wasn't watching."

"YOU ARE THE REASON IT TASTES LIKE SHIT!"

"Oh hush, you need the calcium. Truth's knows you're going to need a tough skull to deal with the Wrench of Doom." Alphonse whispered out the last part just loud enough for his brother, fiancé, and bodyguards to hear. The latter three giggled under their breaths knowing the owner of the Wrench of Doom and how Edward shrank onto himself. "What's wrong with you?"

"Sorry, this place gives off an off-putting aura. Like the one in Hogwarts, but worse." Edward apologized, expression tense and almost pained that bordered annoyance. It was strange, not once has he ever felt it this powerful whenever he visited the Ministry. It's almost like someone… amp up the anit-muggle charms… Great. That would be the only explanation, it came out of nowhere. It happened before that nincompoop Cornelius, pink toad monstrosity Dolores and the remaining followers they have. That toad has been smiling at him since the moment she entered the meeting room. "Ugh… I need an apple pie."

"Hem hem, is everything alright, Mr. Elric?" Dolores Umbridge smiled widely at the eldest Elric brother.

"I'm quite fine, thank you for asking." Alphonse smiled at the woman, ensuring that Edward will not start a dispute with the woman. His own smile only grew at seeing the woman in pink smile twitch in anger before it quickly disappeared. "Big brother is just being big brother. We had to cancel several previously arranged engagements to attend this meeting."

"I apologize for inconveniencing you all…"

"If we are going to blame anyone, it would be our superiors, all of you…then ourselves." Edward grumbled under his breath as he sniffed his tea with disdain. "Can we take a break? I want to make myself a cup of tea without any outside inference."

-.-

"You gave us extra time to figure what to say to them about the supposed finalization of the peace treaty. Now we have time to change their focus or figure something else." Alphonse spoke quietly to his brother, fiancé and bodyguards. They were given a room to temporarily rest or to get a bite of food, as there is a cart filled with foods and random drinks. "Ed?"

"Hm? What? I actually wanted to make myself a new cup of tea. Screw the meeting, Madam Bones understands our position and isn't pushing forward to sign immediately. It's late early August, she won't become Minister until late September. Don't start with the possibility of that idiotic Conry Fudge on winning that hat. We gained the last needed ally to secure that position for her." Edward leaned against the wall in the room as he took sips of his tea. "You have put it bluntly to them that we are not going to sign anytime soon. I know how these people think and react. I got word that FUCKING TOAD," Edward threw his cup across the room, his expression filled with tension, "Raised up the wards against non-magical humans!"

Everyone else in the room had mixed emotions on Edward's outburst. Normally this sort of thing was out of character, however considering how he is describing the ward that is out against him and how his behavior is getting worse by the hour… not much of a surprise. Shock? Maybe. Resilient would be a word to describe Edward, but everyone has a breaking point and the pressure around him along with the meeting mixed together was not a good combo.

"She has it against me for the fucking fact I'm a muggle! A muggle!"

"Is anyone going to lower the wards?" Mei asked worriedly, she had sensed a presence that seemed to surround the entire building. It wasn't affecting her as it was affecting Edward, knowing the guy as long as she does, it worries her. Doesn't help how affected Alphonse is, should he continue to apologize for his Brother's behavior, even if it's not even his own fault? They wanted a rise out of the eldest Elric Brother, and it appears they got one.

"Bah, I'm not going to give them the satisfaction. If they want war, they are going to get one!"

"Please don't start a war…"

#Alchemy Series #Tiny Steps #HP #FMA #FMAB #Hp/FMAB #HP/FMA #Crossover #Au #Pro!Snape #fanfic

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gaawachan · 5 years ago

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So... Mulan... I’m Not Happy :(

I'll be the first to admit that there were some problems with Disney's Mulan. Mushu is a very important secondary character, but he should not have been a dragon. The emperor never should have bowed her her and she should not have touched him; the Emperor was poorly done all-around. There were some artistic errors that were culturally insensitive as I recall. Chi Fu was not so great and his character really needs to be updated (not to be more likeable, but to be less of a caricature). There's a gag involving a panda that should be written out. The ancestors thing ought to be completely cut. There is an over-reliance on some stereotypical tropes that ought to be at least downplayed in a new film if they aren’t servicing the story with their over-emphasis. Easily the worst thing about the film is the dehumanizing depiction of the Huns. These are all problems that can be easily fixed without outright scrapping 9/10ths of the cast. . I was planning to talk about Mushu first, but I think it's impossible to talk about Mushu without talking about Mulan, so that's where we're going to start.

In the Disney film, Mulan is NOT trained in combat, but she is smart and a quick problem-solver, agile, and dedicated. Mulan's angst is not so much that society doesn't value her for what she has to offer, but that what she has to offer is not enough for her to feel of worth to society. In other words, the expectations placed upon women in this setting are something that Mulan internalized and she finds herself wanting in them, because she cannot perform the ideal female standard in her society and if she can't do that, then she has no worth. The important take from all of this is that isn't raging against society. She's raging against her own inability to be an ideal female archetype in her society.

Mulan ends up joining the military for two reasons. The first is her father's physical state. The second is a desperate desire not to prove her worth to society, but to prove her worth to herself. Once in the military, she particularly struggles with training; unlike in the folklore, she is not used to this particular form of labor, and she nearly gives up until she comes to the realization that her training isn't something that she is supposed to brute force her way through. It is ultimately in the military that Mulan finds her intellect to be of value, something of hers that she can see is contributing meaningfully.

However, just like throughout most of history, Mulan's worth and behavior is judged on the merit of her gender first and foremost, which is why her gender reveal after the battle at the pass take her to such a low... and this is also why Mushu is an important character. Mushu, more than anyone else in the narrative, is the one who bolsters Mulan's self-worth. . I already said that Mushu should not be a dragon. But he also should STILL BE IN THE MOVIE. Mushu is the most important animal side-kick in Disney history within the associated movie. Within Disney's Mulan, there is an admonishment directed to society about placing people in positions where they feel they need to be something they are not in order to retain or acquire social standing, something that doesn't do much for a person's self-worth. Mushu has, throughout the narrative, lied about his own identity and role... to MULAN, and unlike her, he's done it purely for his own self-interest. That is not to say he is unhelpful; his presence and actions actually save a lot of people, Mulan included, but just like Mulan, that fails to address the underlying issue of self-worth. It is in this moment of Mulan's weakness that Mushu confesses this.

"Mushu: The truth is, we're both frauds. Your ancestors didn't send me; they don't even like me. I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions. Mulan: ...... Let's go home. Mushu: Yeah. This ain't gonna be pretty. But don't you worry, okay? Things will work out. We started this thing together and that's how we'll finish it. I promise."

Mushu's ability to come clean just so he can be as supportive as possible to Mulan is what makes him such an important character, because immediately after this, Mulan rushes to the capital to help regardless of the consequences. This isn't coming out of nowhere. Mulan's ability to accept Mushu's flaws and benefit from his support is ultimately what kick-starts the change in her own self-image. Mulan needs there to be someone on her side who knows she's a woman and still sees value in what she can contribute because she can't overcome her own internalized misogyny and self-loathing without support. Which is, btw, the whole freaking point. . Shang next. I don't know where people got the idea that Shang was some sort of comic relief character. Other than herself, Shang becomes the person Mulan is most driven to prove her worth to, first as a soldier, and then as a human, and this is why his judgment at the pass cuts so deeply. Shang following in his father's footsteps serves as a twisted mirror to Mulan's own journey, and the death of his father carries heavier emotional wait as a result. While it's never stated in the movie, the general's death also reminds the viewer of one of the big reasons why Mulan is in the military in the first place. Mulan's push back against his bigoted dismissal of her in the capital is a big signifier that her self-image has changed. Shang's recognition that his failure to trust Mulan when she warned him that Shan-Yu was in the capital put the emperor in danger coupled with his seeing that Mulan's tactical mind is no different than when she was Ping is ultimately what seals his own approval of Mulan as a whole person. Whereas Mushu is vital for starting the change in Mulan seeing herself of value, it is Shang's opinion of her that carries the most weight, because Shang has no familial association with her but he is still a fundamental part of her sphere that she wants approval from. . Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po are the three soldiers who become Mulan's friends in the military, and while they are mostly comic relief, they are still worth mentioning. They are casually misogynistic, and when Chi Fu insists that Mulan face punishment, they ultimately fall in line and reject her; though they aren't happy about it, none of them are willing to step out of line that much. I've seen people say that they do that because of extreme sexism but I disagree. Imo it has less to do with their misogyny and more to do with kowtowing to authority+bystander effect; you'll notice that they are outright eager to fall back in with Mulan as soon as the Emperor is attacked.

Mulan's friendship with these three is important not just because all three of them are wonky, flawed people who she is incredibly awkward and weird around but who still ultimately accept her, but because it's also supposed to demonstrate the camaraderie developed between soldiers at war. I don't want to go into this at length so suffice it to say that I'm going to be very disappointed if that aspect of the story is cut out of the live-action version. . ... Okay, now we get to talk about the most problematic part of Disney Mulan. The Huns. Uh... it's really bad. It's inaccurate on so many levels that I don't want to get into atm. I was actually excited at the prospect of the live action film heavily re-writing this such that the enemy forces would not be so de-humanized and maybe the story on the international scale would be made to be more nuanced/gray, but instead, they decided to scrap them altogether in favor of a... witch. A witch. In Mulan. A story about a woman finding her self-worth in an oppressive society and you made the villain A WITCH. You know, that negative female stereotype about evil magic women that's resulted in thousands upon thousands of women being murdered over the centuries?

Why? In part it's obviously to avoid any sort of controversy that might have come about from keeping a foreign invasion as part of the story, though it also significantly hamstrings any chance of the narrative saying anything meaningful on that topic in typical, cowardly modern Disney fashion. However, Disney has shot themselves in the foot on this one. I can already see where they're trying to go with this change and I do not like it. Problematic depiction aside, the primary antagonist of the original movie, Shan-Yu, was interesting because he is the only human in the story who did not seem to give a single fuck about Mulan's gender. When Shan-Yu looks at Mulan, he sees a competent threat who killed most of his men and he goes after her with that perspective. However, he slips up when he thinks he has Mulan backed into a corner and she pulls out a feminine symbol, a fan. He fails to see how something like that could stand up before him, and that is why he is outmaneuvered and defeated. Mulan defeats the hyper-masculine Shan-Yu openly as a woman in women's clothing using a feminine tool. That? That won't work in a story with a female protagonist vs a female villain. . When Mulan returns home, her father helps her complete the healing of her self-image; she didn't need to do a damn thing to be or prove of value to him. The final thing I want to point out about Mulan is that while it certainly critiques society for what it does to people by enforcing ridiculous and oppressive roles and expectations on them, the story is not about changing society. It's about one person's self-image and the way the people immediately around her shape that self-image. Because of that, Mulan can be read as a low-key call for acceptance and support of non-conforming people in general. . . I want to talk just a bit about some of the music of Mulan.

“Honor To Us All” is intentionally stereotypically over the top because the audience needs to know what Mulan's own ridiculous standards that she's set herself up to fail to meet are. It's not just that the standard is absurd; it's that she wants to meet them. The song, while tonally light-hearted, is meant to capture the immense social anxiety of oppressive artificial social roles. Incidentally, Chi Fu more or less serves the role of being the external expression of said oppressive artificial social roles, and he does it a bit too well to the point where everyone hates his character both in the movie and out, lol. "'Tis a woman! She’ll never be worth anything!"

"I'll Make A Man Out Of You" is meant to be cheekily over-the-top and ironic. I shouldn't have to explain this. Shang is using his over the top, silly similes about masculinity to try and pump up his incompetent recruits, but it's ultimately Mulan's intellect that propels her to become his best soldier. I also want to point out that while Mulan is particularly incompetent at the start, ALL of the recruits are, and Disney Mulan has had NO experience with that sort of labor so it makes sense that she struggled particularly at first. There's been a lot of great writing on the topic of this song already so I'm gonna stop here.

There really is no excuse for cutting “Reflection” and “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You.” The other two songs are not so important but these two are.

Also, she doesn’t cut her hair. What the fuck, Disney? God damn it.

God, why did I write this? This is just a massive badly constructed rambling rant, I’m sorry.

#disney mulan #mulan #fa mulan #mushu #li shang #shan yu #sorry for the rant #self love #social commentary #they replaced Shan Yu with a WITCH #WHY #no snide comments if you please

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heartavenged · 6 years ago

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THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AVENGERS ENDGAME

SPOILERS.

Based on the amazing post by @saieras (21 things I loved about endgame), anything pushed by blockquotes (the little line on the left), and some of the titles, come directly from said post --DISCLAIMER -- and means I agree completely.

1. THE FIRST 20 MINUTES

Expectations? Chuck them out the window. They weren’t kidding when they said all promotional material came from the first 20 mins!!! I loved how they got right into the thick of things, cameras blazing, completely no nonsense. And CAROL omg. Also I did NOT expect Thanos’ death to be, Just Like That.

CAROL, again.

2. THE TIME JUMP

Very, very smart move. I liked everything about the time jump. It lets us view the event with a lens of a world shattered, a world that has had the chance to come to its senses and reel from the catastrophe.

3. TONY CONFRONTS STEVE

I have firmly been Team Iron Man since Civil War, and Tony is my favourite character (I am not okay), so suffice to say that I loved how, even weakened with malnourishment, he got in Steve’s face, and everything he said.

4. THE LANGS

Just. Every joke he made. Fantastic.But also I did not expect to shed my first tear at his and Cassie’s reunion. That was great.

5. DOMESTIC TONY

Tony and Morgan. Such a real, cute father-daughter relationship. ‘Mommy send me to rescue you’ and ‘Love you three thousand’ filled my heart with joy.

6. INTERN

Tony and Peter’s photo (...) AND THAT PHOTO WAS HIS. In HIS HOUSE. FRAMED. I REALLY wish we got more but that moment was very powerful. Still, I was unsatisfied. I wanted Tony to cry. I wanted Morgan to also know about Peter. Basically I want more canonical proof of Irondad Spiderson. Like, listen, this is the one loss that haunts Tony to this day. Peter’s death was the kind of pain that made Tony terrified of going again, for fear of losing Morgan

7. THE NYC SCENE

ALL of it. From Tony the security guard, to him talking shit about his own deodorant, to him giving himself a cardiac arrest to cause a diversion and being like this is fine, nothing to see here. And Hulk vs stairs. And STEEB. OMG STEEB. “Hail Hydra.“ “I’ve got visuals on Loki.” “I can do this all da–“ “Yeah. I know. I know.“

“Bucky… Is… ALIVE“

And butt jokes. So many Steve buttjokes. I don’t ship stony, but that is the closest y’all will get to a stony suggestive scene.

ALSO LOKI just yeeting himself outta there. That’s ma boi!

8. FRIGGA AND THOR

Nuff said. Mama Frigga is the best.

9. TONY AND HOWARD

It’s really great how adorable Tony was throughout this scene. And… while Howard was NOT redeemed, it’s nice to know he did love his son. And it’s great that Tony got some closure.

10. PEGGY AND STEVE

Out of the Big Three’s scenes with their “significant past people”, this one was the least impactful for me, as they didn’t even talk, BUT in retrospect it set the scene for later perfectly.

Also because I don’t much care for Steve.

11. GAMORA

This is GREAT and showcases her character very well, who she really is despite who Thanos raised her to be.

True, the minute she realizes Thanos’ plan is to wipe out half the universe, she is so clearly appalled (I don’t think she really knew what he planned for after he gathered all stones), and immediately starts to reconsider her position on the whole thing.

12. CLINT AND NATASHA

Their friendship was on full display during this film. Their scenes. And how it was all platonic. The entire audience knew, as soon as they landed on Vormir, that one of them wasn’t going to make it.

- I knew it would be Natasha , though, Clint and his family, and Natasha and her whole “I need redemption, I’m still trying to be a better person” -

Back to the Vormir scene: it was amazing, and heartbreaking, the lengths they were willing to go to make sure they were the sacrifice, like, how they were willing to injure if it meant the other were alive at the end. Clint and Natasha were never my favourites (except around Avengers), but I will forever applaud Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner for their outstanding performance.

13. THE BIG THREE FIGHT THANOS

Thor’s lightning and Tony’s Iron Man tech combining to kick purple ass, all of three of them holding the titan back while the others tried to crawl out of the rubble. Still, the “big three fight” was mainly focused on Steve, in my opinion.

Like previously stated, I’m not a greeeat Steve fan, but even I have to admit that Mjölnir zapping to his hand at that precise moment was awesome. I cheered right along with everyone else. Which also justifies Thor grabbing it along from the past and possibly, maybe, most likely, leaving his past-self without it?

Anyways, cue tears at each shard of the shield.

14. THE ENTRANCE OF THE HEROES

If I was crying before, the moment that Sam hails Steve, and Shuri, Okoye and T’Challa walk through that first portal I was outright sobbing.

Words don’t do justice to the emotion I felt at seeing ALL my heroes assemble for the last time. At each new face I cried harder. They didn’t forget anyone and that made me so fucking happy.

I felt as if I could climb into the screen and fight alongside them, I felt powerful enough and fired up enough to do it too. And that’s the magic of that scene, thank you cast and crew. Thank you MARVEL for the incredible build up, I thought it was worth it.

15. PETER AND TONY

How Peter goes straight for Tony and cute rambling mode is already turned on, but Tony can’t even speak, and just falls into the hug in a parallel of their “hug” in Infinity War.

“Oh, this is nice!”

The moment is essencial since Peter, and not really any of the other tens of trillions* that vanished in the snap, is the reason Tony embarks in the time travel venture, even when it could’ve cost him so much. So it validates his choice, besides his being, you know, a true hero.

16. CAROL’S ENTRANCE

I missed her in this movie. I mean, I thought she would be in almost every shot, but maybe that was just because I think she’s fantastic. Her entrance, tho.

“What are they shooting at?” “Something just entered the atmosphere”

And then blast! Singlehandedly destroying the mothership (Thanos’ looks so fucking offended and we can see any conviction of victory waning from his expression), and kicking some ass. Way to establish dominance early on girl!

I mean, I played with the idea of Infinity-War-Thor being equal to Carol, (and maybe, maybe, he could’ve come a close) but now? She’s so clearly in another level... No words except: goddess.

17. PETER IN THE BATTLE + CAROL

Instant kill mode

So proud of him. The way he flips in, and is instantly like Woah this is a Big Fight!!

“Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”

CAROL. CArol listen. You are his mom now. That’s how it works with that damn kid. (...) It be like that sometimes.

I don’t think Carol would ever be around enough for anything close to parental relationship (plus, May is Peter’s mom), but that boy will worship the hero-shit out of Captain Marvel.

18. MARVEL’S HEROINES

If my crying had eased a bit from the general assemble moment, I fucking cracked again here. They are so tough, and powerful, and beautiful.

As a woman, it was so damn empowering and important to see all of them up there, together, each with their own background and their own strengths. I love how we had all kinds of women - warriors, mothers, princesses, generals, wives, captains, businesswomen, scientists, girlfriends, assasins, friends, witches - and all of them fighters.

I also can’t wait for the gifset and the final still - it’s gonna be my background for about everything.

Also RESCUE. OMG. PEPP. And the battlefield fighting side by side with Tony.

19. TONY’S SEND OFF

His death. I was glad Pepper was the last one there, to tell him it’s okay, they’ll be fine, he can let go.

AND PETER. Peter was there, trying to talk to him, sobbing and breaking down. This is what I wanted, going in, if Tony were to die. And this is what I got. You just know this is going to haunt him in FFH.

And Tony himself. His immense sacrifice, the moment he knew what he had to do, the moment Strange held up that finger. One way. UGH.

Of course I knew Natasha wouldn’d be the only one to die, but damn, I’m still feeling the hole his amazing fictional character left/ is going to leave in my life. Literally the only one (Peter was of course safe with Far From Home around the corner) I didn’t want to die. I loved him before my heart was inflated with Stark-family feels.

The lake house was so peaceful and I loved how it showed that after all his trouble, his PTSD, Tony had found a home and a family (even if somethings haunted him).

The picture, and how devastated Peter is can only mean that between Homecoming and Infinity War they grew closer, which had always been what I wanted. But I wanted to see it! Fanfiction will have to continued to lull my pain, I guess.

Speaking of fanfiction, Harley being at the funeral is all the proof my little fanheart needs to claim they’ve not only been in contact through the years, but had a mentor/parental relationship as well.

The question for me now is: how well do the boys know each other?

20. AND FINALLY, TONY. RDJ.

Thank you. Beyond all words, Thank you.

This has been one hell of a ride.

FOREVER IRON MAN

#avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #MCU

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twilight-town-gays · 6 years ago

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Kingdom Hearts 3 Review

Big thank you to Nomura and his team, Disney and Pixar for making this game a reality.

This review is going to be split into several parts to make it easier to read; story, animation/style, combat, gameplay/exploration, music, rating and overall thoughts.

Story:

Just going to say it now. It's still very complex. But it does answer so many questions from previous games; it asks the right questions and answers them in a cohesive way that even new players should get the general jist of.

It starts off where DDD and 0.2 leave off, even covering some cutscenes from 0.2. KH3 is littered with many references from previous titles that fans of the series will appreciate very much and will help new players get an idea of context.

It follows about 4 major plot points but it never really feels overwhelming or like they're trying to stuff too much in. Near the end was maybe a little rushed, but I don't really see how else they could have delievered this without it becoming too repetitive so they did the best they could.

Pretty much everything that I personally wanted to happen, happened in some shape or form which was very satisfying to see.

Animation/Style:

The characters were a lot more expressive and you truely got a real sense of their personality just by their detailed facial expressions and gestures. It felt natural. KH3 is spectacular in terms of animations and some cutscenes were very cinematic which is very different from previous entries in the series. Despite this, they still managed to keep the same feel.

Combat:

There's so much to the combat; you have the turning abilities and the AP system and links/summons from KH1 and KH2, reaction commands from KH2 as well as form changes, flowmotion from DDD, situation commands and shotlock from BBS, as well as Keyblade Transformations and Attraction Flow which is new to KH3 (obviously magic is back too)

It really is the perfect amalgamation of all the previous entries.

It will take a bit of time to get used to because there is so much but the game slowly eases you into it as to not overwhelm the player. If I'm honest, I forgot I had some abilities but I was satisfied with what I utilised.

Floatiness is practically none existant; it feels very much like KH2. The entire system feels similar to KH2 and DDD.

The difficulty only goes up to Proud though which I personally didn't find that hard apart from a few bosses. As long as you have enough items that you remember to restock and you're at least at the recommended level, it shouldn't be too difficult.

Gameplay/exploration:

Going to talk about the minigames here as well as the environments.

KH3 has a range of different minigames, much more variety than any other game. I found them a little hard to wrap my head around at first but after playing through once I got it. There's a cooking minigame, dancing, Classic Kingdom, matching game, a video game in a video game which is basically you in a giant mech suit destroying other mechs, sled minigame, heartless minigame, among others. There's plenty to do so you'll never be bored.

The worlds in the game are vase and beautiful, there are ledges to climb, you can fall from those said ledges to others with ease and without need of a load screen; traversal is really fun!! If you don't want to travel though, you can wrap using the save points.

Music:

The main themes are both performed by Utada Hikaru just like all previous titles. The overall consensus on these songs, Face My Fears and Don't Think Twice are very devisive but they fit the themes of KH3 very well.

Yoko Shimomura has done a fantastic job with the OSTs once again, the field and battle themes nicely flow from one to the other and helped to build the overall feel of the world. The world themes felt more impactful than previous titles and will definitely be listening to them on repeat when they become availible. The rearrangements of songs that have been in the series before had more emotional weight because of our journey and the meaning behind the music, as well as just being outright amazing.

Rating and Overall Thoughts:

9.5/10

There were a couple of hiccups here and there but it's overall a solid and highly enjoyable game. It retains what kept KH so special in the first place and reminded me just why I love this series so much. I'm looking forward to what's next for the KH series and hope that they take from KH3's successes.

#alex post #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #text post #i love this game too much

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burmecianblackmage · 6 years ago

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Shipping Info Meme

Answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?:

I wouldn’t say I have an OTP as such, seeing how Sceada is a creation of my own mind, and largely shaped by his interactions. There has been a number of pairings I have been very, very fond of (because, let’s face it, if I’m not fond of a pairing, I won’t ship it, so all are fond to me), but I can’t name an OTP from them. In order to be able to give an answer here though, I’ll name the one that has persisted for the longest now, and that would be MariaxSceada. They have such a lovely and also healthy dynamic between them, it is always a pleasure to write them, even when things don’t go so well.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?

Off the top of my head, I cannot think of something I would not be willing to write in regards to shipping, so yeah. I’m here just as much for the build up, the pining and longing, the getting together and the happy life as a couple, as I am here for the angst, the hardships, the tragedies and, sometimes, even the break ups.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Well... neither of the parties should be minors in my eyes, but beyond that, it’s really hard to nail down an age gap. For instance, Sceada has both dated woman that were a few years younger, as well as some that have been at least a few years older. So long as their dynamic and chemistry fit, it’s gonna be fine in my eyes. And besides: If we were to say that it can only be so and so many years, how are we going to deal with the ships where Sceada is with someone at least decades older, like Fran? Or centuries, like it is the case with Rosalia, who’s virtually immortal? Nah, I don’t believe in setting down a line at so and so many years.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

To an extent, yeah. There needs to be some chemistry, and a ship has to make some sense for me.I mean, sure, you can always find ways to make a ship work, even if it makes little sense at first sight and appears contradictory, but let’s be real here: There are just some things that don’t work, and that’s fine. I mean, you wouldn’t ship mortal enemies together, right? --- --- what? You would? Oh for crying out loud guys...

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

I vary that depending on who I’m writing with. Usually we can always find a middle ground both are comfortable with, where then things just flow naturally, so to speak. And depending on the partner, that can indeed go quite far... That said, I am also always happy to accommodate those who prefer a lighter route, and would rather have us fade to black. Either way, if explicit stuff is written, it’s always tagged and more often than not under a read more.

WHO ARE OTHER THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Okay, so... lets go through them all, shall we? First, we have Leonora, a ship that sadly grew apart but I still hold very dear. I was lovely, and it offered Sceada so much to learn, and gave him a lot of opportunity to grow, which was sorely needed in those early years. If I’m completely honest, I’m still a bit sad that it ended, especially the way it did... Maria then, as I’ve already mentioned, is a ship that just seems to click so well, with both being able to offer the other something they needed. And it has given us so many memorable and great scenes, too! Like when Sceada found her after a nightmare and comforted her, claiming that no matter what she’d confess to him, he would not love her any less? Ahhh, so many feelings that come from this ship. I’m really glad it developed into such a long-standing one. Selphie is another ship, and probably the one that developed in the most amusing way, namely through a lot of “Hey, what if” and “Wouldn’t it be interesting if” as well as an impressive amount of “I have a bad idea” moments between the mun. And it has had such a great payoff and developed into the probably most progressed ship? They are married now, after all, and have a wonderful baby boy! Truly, I’d never have imagined that when things started all that time back... - nor by how they started, hehehe. The next ship to mention would be Aria, which is a bit of a special ship, to put it that way. It didn’t get much time and room to grow, and was sadly often pushed on the down low due to Aria’s mun being rather busy and sometimes absent for extended periods of time, but... it has really grown on me, you know? It’s a great ship, one that has a lot of potential, and an interesting dynamic, where Sceada is much more in the role of a protector than in any other ship. Not that Aria can’t defend herself, no, that’s not what I mean. But this is a ship where he can offer so so much to her, and be there for her, showing understanding and care and genuine love, and... - uhm, well, you can tell that I am quite fond of it, so... let’s not delve further into this now... After all, there’s many other ships left to talk about still, starting with Fran. This ship is intriguing in that it started originally as a sort of silent admiration and fascination, and has grown to be at the same time one of the most eloquent and one of the most carnal of ships - a weird combination, I know, but it worked here very well. And I am glad that this is a ship that could be further developed in Discord, where it has reached some interesting points indeed... Next up is Rosalia, who I’ve already mentioned in regards to age differences - but what do you expect when a goddess and a mortal fall for each other? I really enjoy the dynamic between them, that started out as mentor and student, and from there steadily grew. And, well, I’ll admit it... I have a soft spot for ships that are MortalxImmortal, or close to that. Anyone who’s ever asked me about my favorite book series and then asked me why I love Spice and Wolf so much can tel you that... Now, we have Emerya, who may not necessarily be a ship outright, but might very well develop into one I feel - I can at least see some potential for it. And should the mun choose to explore it further, I’ll be curious to see where it’ll lead. I can just see them finding a lot of common ground easily, both being outsiders to an extent, and that time they performed with their magic together was an absolute delight. Plus, a free spirit like Emerya is a nice challenge to a somewhat shyer version of Sceada... Then, let’s also not forget Leila, who although it never grew into a ship really, still left quite the impact on Sceada, and across all verses - and that on a ship, no less :D But yeah, that was interesting as well, and deserves mention. Furthermore, there’s another muse played by the same mun on Discord that has a very intriguing relationship with Sceada, so there’s that too. Lastly, let’s also mention both Adara and Anna, who are written by the same mun, and where interactions have been mainly based on certain types of asks. Though, I have to admit, I could well see thing working out especially with Anna, and I’m always open for more interaction between the two of them.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

Well, to me it is equal parts communication between the muns and chemistry between the muses. I’ll say this though, I don’t necessarily need prior communication though if things start to develop between our muses, and am always down for seeing how that’ll evolve, but after a certain point, I think communication is an absolute must for this, yeah.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?

Whenever there’s the chemistry and the desire for it. I’m not one to turn down potential ships, really. Though that does not mind that shipping is the most important thing for me regarding Sceada. No, certainly not. It is a nice thing though, and I enjoy doing it.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

Probably somewhere in the middle? I dunno.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

If the list further up wasn’t enough indication, allow me to state so here as well: Yes, I am multiship - with the main verse also being what I call “polyship”, meaning that there’s multiple ships in the main verse that actively affect each another, and can cause a number of problems like jealousy or the like.

WHAT IS/ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP(S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Puh... let’s see... what FF IX ships am I fond of... Well, there’s GarnetxZidane for sure, and I guess SteinerxBeatrix too in IX. A few years ago I might have said FreyaxAmarant, but I’m no longer as big a fan of that pairing. Hmm... In other FFs, we have BartzxFaris I’m fond of (or BartzxKrile, but the way the former is played here on tumblr won me over), then I’d say AerithxZack and SelphiexIrvine, and TidusxYuna, though those three are all the kind of where I say, nice that they exist, but not a must for me. Same goes for PeneloxVaan and FranxBalthier. Oh, here’s an amusing one: RamzaxAgrias! And how about RitzxMarche and LusoxAdelle from the Tactics Advance games? If we’re talking cross-game ships, then the first that comes to mind would be MilleudaxLeon, followed by Warrior of LightxLenne. There’s probably more still that I’m forgetting right now, but I’ll spare you those^^’’

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

Find chemistry between our muses and play with me - that’s always a good start. And then, let’s talk ;)

Tagged by: @runexxknight here: [x]

Tagging: For my personal enjoyment, I’ll just tag everyone I am or have been shipping with~ @containyourmainposure @artemisxbow @sunny-explosions @nymphaxea @feralstriike @rebirthxguardian @atieflingwarlock (possibly? We’ll see) @dancing-dagger @deriision

#RequestsHeeded #Muse Info #phew.. that got quite long #but it's another one down in my quest to work through my backlog

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liketotallydest · 8 years ago

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Harry Styles' New Direction A year in the life of the One Direction star as One Direction's Harry Styles goes deep on love, family and his heartfelt new solo debut in our revealing feature. Theo Wenner for Rolling Stone January 2016. There's a bench at the top of Primrose Hill, in London, that looks out over the skyline of the city. If you'd passed by it one winter night, you might have seen him sitting there. A lanky guy in a wool hat, overcoat and jogging pants, hands thrust deep into his pockets. Harry Styles had a lot on his mind. He had spent five years as the buoyant fan favorite in One Direction; now, an uncertain future stretched out in front of him. The band had announced an indefinite hiatus. The white noise of adulation was gone, replaced by the hushed sound of the city below. Theo Wenner for Rolling Stone The fame visited upon Harry Styles in his years with One D was a special kind of mania. With a self-effacing smile, a hint of darkness and the hair invariably described as "tousled," he became a canvas onto which millions of fans pitched their hopes and dreams. Hell, when he pulled over to the side of the 101 freeway in L.A. and discreetly threw up, the spot became a fan shrine. It's said the puke was even sold on eBay like pieces of the Berlin Wall. Paul McCartney has interviewed him. Then there was the unauthorized fan-fiction series featuring a punky, sexed-up version of "Harry Styles." A billion readers followed his virtual exploits. ("Didn't read it," comments the nonfiction Styles, "but I hope he gets more than me.") But at the height of One D–mania, Styles took a step back. For many, 2016 was a year of lost musical heroes and a toxic new world order. For Styles, it was a search for a new identity that began on that bench overlooking London. What would a solo Harry Styles sound like? A plan came into focus. A song cycle about women and relationships. Ten songs. More of a rock sound. A bold single-color cover to match the working title: Pink. (He quotes the Clash's Paul Simonon: "Pink is the only true rock & roll colour.") Many of the details would change over the coming year – including the title, which would end up as Harry Styles – but one word stuck in his head. "Honest," he says, a year later, driving through midcity Los Angeles in a dusty black Range Rover. He's lived here off and on for the past few years, always returning to London. Styles' car stereo pumps a mix of country and obscure classic rock. "I didn't want to write 'stories,' " he says. "I wanted to write my stories, things that happened to me. The number-one thing was I wanted to be honest. I hadn't done that before." There isn't a yellow light he doesn't run as he speaks excitedly about the band he's put together under the tutelage of producer Jeff Bhasker (The Rolling Stones, Kanye West, "Uptown Funk"). He's full of stories about the two-month recording session last fall at Geejam, a studio and compound built into a mountainside near Port Antonio, a remote section of Jamaica. Drake and Rihanna have recorded there, and it's where Styles produced the bulk of his new LP, which is due out May 12th. As we weave through traffic today, the album no one has heard is burning a hole in his iPhone. RELATED See Harry Styles Play Mick Jagger, Perform New Songs on 'SNL' We arrive at a crowded diner, and Styles cuts through the room holding a black notebook jammed with papers and artifacts from his album, looking like a college student searching for a quiet place to study. He's here to do something he hasn't done much of in his young career: an extended one-on-one interview. Often in the past there was another One D member to vector questions into a charmingly evasive display of band camaraderie. Today, Styles is a game but careful custodian of his words, sometimes silently consulting the tablecloth before answering. But as he recounts the events leading up to his year out of the spotlight, the layers begin to slip away. It was in a London studio in late 2014 that Styles first brought up the idea of One Direction taking a break. "I didn't want to exhaust our fan base," he explains. "If you're shortsighted, you can think, 'Let's just keep touring,' but we all thought too much of the group than to let that happen. You realize you're exhausted and you don't want to drain people's belief in you." After much discussion, the band mutually agreed to a hiatus, which was announced in August 2015 (Zayn Malik had abruptly left One D several months earlier). Fans were traumatized by the band's decision, but were let down easy with a series of final bows, including a tour that ran through October. Styles remains a One D advocate: "I love the band, and would never rule out anything in the future. The band changed my life, gave me everything." Harry Styles reveals the inspiration behind his new music. Here's five things we learned about Harry Styles' new album. Still, a solo career was calling. "I wanted to step up. There were songs I wanted to write and record, and not just have it be 'Here's a demo I wrote.' Every decision I've made since I was 16 was made in a democracy. I felt like it was time to make a decision about the future ... and maybe I shouldn't rely on others." As one of the most well-known 23-year-olds in the world, Styles himself is still largely unknown. Behind the effervescent stage persona, there is more lore than fact. He likes it that way. "With an artist like Prince," he says, "all you wanted to do was know more. And that mystery – it's why those people are so magical! Like, fuck, I don't know what Prince eats for breakfast. That mystery ... it's just what I like." Styles pauses, savoring the idea of the unknown. He looks at my digital recorder like a barely invited guest. "More than 'do you keep a mystery alive?' – it's not that. I like to separate my personal life and work. It helps, I think, for me to compartmentalize. It's not about trying to make my career longer, like I'm trying to be this 'mysterious character,' because I'm not. When I go home, I feel like the same person I was at school. You can't expect to keep that if you show everything. There's the work and the personal stuff, and going between the two is my favorite shit. It's amazing to me." Soon, we head to the Beachwood Canyon studio of Jeff Bhasker. As we arrive, Styles bounds up the steps to the studio, passing a bored pool cleaner. "How are ya," he announces, unpacking a seriously cheerful smile. The pool cleaner looks perplexed, not quite sharing Styles' existential joy. Inside, the band awaits. Styles opens his notebook and heads for the piano. He wants to finish a song he'd started earlier that day. It's obvious that the band has a well-worn frat-house dynamic, sort of like the Beatles in Help!, as directed by Judd Apatow. Styles is, to all, "H." Pomegranate-scented candles flicker around the room. Bhasker enters, with guru-length hair, multicolored shirt, red socks and sandals. He was initially busy raising a new baby with his partner, the singer and songwriter Lykke Li, so he guided Styles to two of his producer-player protégés, Alex Salibian and Tyler Johnson, as well as engineer and bassist Ryan Nasci. The band began to form. The final piece of the puzzle was Mitch Rowland, Styles' guitarist, who had worked in a pizza joint until two weeks into the sessions. "Being around musicians like this had a big effect on me," Styles says. "Not being able to pass an instrument without sitting down and playing it?" He shakes his head. It was Styles' first full immersion into the land of musos, and he clearly can't get enough. Styles starts singing some freshly written lyrics. It's a new song called "I Don't Want to Be the One You're Waiting On." His voice sounds warm, burnished and intimate, not unlike early Rod Stewart. The song is quickly finished, and the band assembles for a playback of the album. "Mind if I play it loud?" asks Bhasker. It's a rhetorical question. Nasci cranks "Sign of the Times," the first single, to a seismic level. The song began as a seven-minute voice note on Styles' phone, and ended up as a sweeping piano ballad, as well as a kind of call to arms. "Most of the stuff that hurts me about what's going on at the moment is not politics, it's fundamentals," Styles says. "Equal rights. For everyone, all races, sexes, everything. ... 'Sign of the Times' came from 'This isn't the first time we've been in a hard time, and it's not going to be the last time.' The song is written from a point of view as if a mother was giving birth to a child and there's a complication. The mother is told, 'The child is fine, but you're not going to make it.' The mother has five minutes to tell the child, 'Go forth and conquer.'" The track was a breakthrough for both the artist and the band. "Harry really led the charge with that one, and the rest of the album," says Bhasker. "I wish the album could be called Sign of the Times," Styles declares. "I don't know," says Bhasker. "I mean, it has been used." They debate for a bit. Nasci plays more tracks. The songs range from full-on rock ("Kiwi") to intricate psychedelic pop ("Meet Me in the Hallway") to the outright confessional ("Ever Since New York," a desperate meditation on loss and longing). The lyrics are full of details and references – secrets whispered between friends, doomed declarations of love, empty swimming pools – sure to set fans scrambling for the facts behind the mystery. "Of course I'm nervous," Styles admits, jingling his keys. "I mean, I've never done this before. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I'm happy I found this band and these musicians, where you can be vulnerable enough to put yourself out there. I'm still learning ... but it's my favorite lesson." The album is a distinct departure from the dance pop that permeates the airwaves. "A lot of my influences, and the stuff that I love, is older," he says. "So the thing I didn't want to do was, I didn't want to put out my first album and be like, 'He's tried to re-create the Sixties, Seventies, Eighties, Nineties.' Loads of amazing music was written then, but I'm not saying I wish I lived back then. I wanted to do something that sounds like me. I just keep pushing forward." "It's different from what you'd expect," Bhasker says. "It made me realize the Harry [in One D] was kind of the digitized Harry. Almost like a character. I don't think people know a lot of the sides of him that are on this album. You put it on and people are like, 'This is Harry Styles?' " Styles is aware that his largest audience so far has been young – often teenage – women. Asked if he spends pressure-filled evenings worried about proving credibility to an older crowd, Styles grows animated. "Who's to say that young girls who like pop music – short for popular, right? – have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That's not up to you to say. Music is something that's always changing. There's no goal posts. Young girls like the Beatles. You gonna tell me they're not serious? How can you say young girls don't get it? They're our future. Our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they kind of keep the world going. Teenage-girl fans – they don't lie. If they like you, they're there. They don't act 'too cool.' They like you, and they tell you. Which is sick." "Teenage-girl fans – they don't lie," Styles says. Styles drives to a quiet dinner spot in Laurel Canyon, at the foot of Lookout Mountain Avenue, onetime home to many of his Seventies songwriting heroes. He used to have a place around the corner. As the later tours of One Direction grew larger, longer and more frenetic, he offers with irony, "It was very rock & roll." He's not a heavy drinker, he says, maybe some tequila on ice or wine with friends after a show, but by the band's last tour there wasn't much time even for that. John Lennon once told Rolling Stone that behind the curtain, the Beatles' tours were like Fellini's Satyricon. Styles counters that the One D tours were more like "a Wes Anderson movie. Cut. Cut. New location. Quick cut. New location. Cut. Cut. Show. Shower. Hard cut. Sleep." Finding a table, Styles leans forward and discusses his social-media presence, or lack thereof. Styles and his phone have a bittersweet, mature relationship – they spend a lot of time apart. He doesn't Google himself, and checks Twitter infrequently. "I'll tell you about Twitter," he continues, discussing the volley of tweets, some good, some cynical, that met his endorsement of the Women's March on Washington earlier this year. "It's the most incredible way to communicate closely with people, but not as well as in person." When the location of his London home was published a few years ago, he was rattled. His friend James Corden offered him a motto coined by British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli: "Never complain, never explain." I mention a few of the verbal Molotov cocktails Zayn Malik has tossed at the band in recent interviews. Here's one: "[One D is] not music that I would listen to. If I was sat at a dinner date with a girl, I would play some cool shit, you know what I mean? I want to make music that I think is cool shit. I don't think that's too much to ask for." Styles adjusts himself in his chair. "I think it's a shame he felt that way," he says, threading the needle of diplomacy, "but I never wish anything but luck to anyone doing what they love. If you're not enjoying something and need to do something else, you absolutely should do that. I'm glad he's doing what he likes, and good luck to him." Perched on his head are the same-style white sunglasses made famous by Kurt Cobain, but the similarities end right there. Styles, born two months before Cobain exited Earth, doesn't feel tied to any particular genre or era. In the car, he'll just as easily crank up the country music of Keith Whitley as the esoteric blues-and-soul of Shuggie Otis. He even bought a carrot cake to present to Stevie Nicks at a Fleetwood Mac concert. ("Piped her name onto it. She loved it. Glad she liked carrot cake.") This much is clear: The classic role of tortured artist is not one he'll be playing. "People romanticize places they can't get to themselves," he says. "That's why it's fascinating when people go dark – when Van Gogh cuts off his ear. You romanticize those people, sometimes out of proportion. It's the same with music. You want a piece of that darkness, to feel their pain but also to step back into your own [safer] life. I can't say I had that. I had a really nice upbringing. I feel very lucky. I had a great family and always felt loved. There's nothing worse than an inauthentic tortured person. 'They took my allowance away, so I did heroin.' It's like – that's not how it works. I don't even remember what the question was." Styles wanders into the Country Store next door. It's a store he knows well. Inspecting the shelves, he asks if I've had British rice pudding. He finds a can that looks ancient. He collects a roll of Rowntrees Fruit Pastilles ("since 1881"), Lindor Swiss chocolates ("irresistibly smooth") and a jar of Branston Pickles. "There's only two shops in L.A. that stock all the British snacks. This area's kind of potluck," he says, spreading the collection on the counter. The clerk rings up the snacks. In the most careful, deferential way, the young worker asks the question. "Would you ... happen to be ... Harry Styles?" "Yep." "Could I get a selfie?" Styles obliges, and leans over the counter. Click. We exit into the Laurel Canyon evening. "Hey," shouts a grizzled-looking dude on the bench outside the store. "Do you know who you look like?" Styles turns, expecting more of the same, but this particular night denizen is on a different track. "River Phoenix," the man announces, a little sadly. "You ever heard of him? If he hadn't have passed, I would have said that was you. Talented guy." "Yes, he was," agrees Styles, who is in many ways the generational opposite of Phoenix. "Yes, he was." They share a silent moment, before Styles walks to his car. He hands me the bag filled with English snacks. "This is for you," he says. "This was my youth ..." Styles at age three. Courtesy of Harry Styles Harry Edward Styles was born in Worcestershire, England, in true classic-rock form, on a Tuesday Afternoon. The family moved to Cheshire, a quiet spot in Northern England, when he was a baby. His older sister, Gemma, was the studious one. ("She was always smarter than me, and I was always jealous of that.") His father, Desmond, worked in finance. He was a fan of the Rolling Stones, Fleetwood Mac, a lot of Queen, and Pink Floyd. Young Harry toddled around to The Dark Side of the Moon. "I couldn't really get it," he says, "but I just remember being like – this is really fucking cool. Then my mom would always have Shania Twain, and Savage Garden, Norah Jones going on. I had a great childhood. I'll admit it." But in fact, all was not perfection, scored to a cool, retro soundtrack. When Harry was seven, his parents explained to him that Des would be moving out. Asked about that moment today, Styles stares straight ahead. "I don't remember," he says. "Honestly, when you're that young, you can kind of block it out. ... I can't say that I remember the exact thing. I didn't realize that was the case until just now. Yeah, I mean, I was seven. It's one of those things. Feeling supported and loved by my parents never changed." His eyes moisten a little, but unlike the young man who wept over an early bout with Internet criticism, a powerful moment in the early One Direction documentary A Year in the Making, Styles tonight knocks back the sentiment. Styles is still close with his father, and served as best man to his mom when she remarried a few years ago. "Since I've been 10," he reflects, "it's kind of felt like – protect Mom at all costs. ... My mom is very strong. She has the greatest heart. [Her house in Cheshire] is where I want to go when I want to spend some time." In his early teens, Styles joined some school friends as the singer in a mostly-covers band, White Eskimo. "We wrote a couple of songs," he remembers. "One was called 'Gone in a Week.' It was about luggage. 'I'll be gone in a week or two/Trying to find myself someplace new/I don't need any jackets or shoes/The only luggage I need is you.'" He laughs. "I was like, 'Sick.'" It was his mother who suggested he try out for the U.K. singing competition The X Factor to compete in the solo "Boy" category. Styles sang Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely." The unforgiving reaction from one of the judges, Louis Walsh, is now infamous. Watching the video today is to watch young Harry's cheery disposition take a hot bullet. "In that instant," he says, "you're in the whirlwind. You don't really know what's happening; you're just a kid on the show. You don't even know you're good at anything. I'd gone because my mum told me I was good from singing in the car ... but your mum tells you things to make you feel good, so you take it with a pinch of salt. I didn't really know what I was expecting when I went on there." Styles didn't advance in the competition, but Simon Cowell, the show's creator, sensed a crowd favorite. He put Styles together with four others who'd failed to advance in the same category, and united the members of One D in a musical shotgun marriage. The marriage worked. And worked. And worked. You wonder how a young musician might find his way here, to these lofty peaks, with his head still attached to his shoulders. No sex tapes, no TMZ meltdowns, no tell-all books written by the rehab nanny? In a world where one messy scandal can get you five seasons of a hit reality show ... how did Harry Styles slip through the juggernaut? "Family," answers Ben Winston. "It comes from his mom, Anne. She brought him and his sister up incredibly well. Harry would choose boring over exciting ... There is more chance of me going to Mars next week than there is of Harry having some sort of addiction." We're in Television City, Hollywood. Winston, 35, the Emmy-winning executive producer of The Late Late Show With James Corden, abandons his desk and retreats to a nearby sofa to discuss his good friend. More than a friend, Styles became an unlikely family member – after he became perhaps the world's most surprising houseguest. Their friendship was forged in the early stages of One D's success, when the band debuted on The X Factor. Winston, then a filmmaker and production partner with Corden, asked for a meeting, and instantly hit it off with the group. He became a friendly mentor to Styles, though the friendship was soon tested. Styles had just moved out of his family home in Cheshire, an inconvenient three hours north of London. He found a home he liked near the Winstons in Hampstead Heath. The new house needed two weeks of work. Styles asked if he could briefly move in with Winston and his wife, Meredith. "She agreed," Winston says, "but only for two weeks." One Direction on 'The X Factor,' 2010 Ken McKay/TalkbackThames/REX/Shutterstock Styles parked his mattress in the Winstons' attic. "Two weeks later and he hadn't bought his house yet," continues Winston. "It wasn't going through. Then he said, 'I'm going to stay until Christmas, if you don't mind.' Then Christmas came, and ..." For the next 20 months, one of the most desired stars on the planet slept on a small mattress in an attic. The only other bit of house-dressing was the acoustic guitar that would rattle into the Winstons' bedroom. While fans gathered at the empty house where he didn't live, Styles lived incognito with a couple 12 years his senior. The Winstons' Orthodox Jewish lifestyle, with a strong family emphasis, helped keep him sane. "Those 20 months were when they went from being on a reality show, X Factor, to being the biggest-selling artists in the world," recalls Winston. "That period of time, he was living with us in the most mundane suburban situation. No one ever found out, really. Even when we went out for a meal, it's such a sweet family neighborhood, no one dreamed it was actually him. But he made our house a home. And when he moved out, we were gutted." Styles jauntily appears at the Late Late office. He's clearly a regular visitor, and he and Winston have a brotherly shorthand. "Leaving Saturday?" asks Winston. "Yeah, gotta buy a cactus for my friend's birthday," says Styles. "My dad might be on your flight," says Winston. "The 8:50? That'd be sick." Winston continues the tales from the attic. "So we had this joke. Meri and I would like to see the girls that you would come back with to the house. That was always what we enjoyed, because we'd be in bed like an old couple. We'd have our spot cream on our faces and we'd be in our pajamas and the door would go off. The stairwell was right outside our door, so we'd wait to see if Harry was coming home alone or with people." "I was alone," notes Styles. "I was scared of Meri." "He wasn't always alone," corrects Winston, "but it was exciting seeing the array of A-listers that would come up and sleep in the attic. Or he'd come and lounge with us. We'd never discuss business. He would act as if he hadn't come back from playing to 80,000 people three nights in a row in Rio de Janeiro." "Let's go to the beach," says Styles, pulling the Range Rover onto a fog-soaked Pacific Coast Highway. Last night was his tequila-fueled birthday party, filled with friends and karaoke and a surprise drop-in from Adele. He's now officially 23. "And not too hung over," he notes. Styles finds a spot at a sushi place up the coast. As he passes through the busy dining room, a businessman turns, recognizing him with a face that says: My kids love this guy! I ask Styles what he hears most from the parents of young fans. "They say, 'I see your cardboard face every fucking day.' " He laughs. "I think they want me to apologize." The subject today is relationships. While Styles says he still feels like a newcomer to all that, a handful of love affairs have deeply affected him. The images and stolen moments tumble extravagantly through the new songs: And promises are broken like a stitch is ... I got splinters in my knuckles crawling 'cross the floor/Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short/But I think that's what I like about it ... I see you gave him my old T-shirt, more of what was once mine ... That black notebook, you sense, is filled with this stuff. "My first proper girlfriend," he remembers, "used to have one of those laughs. There was also a little bit of mystery with her because she didn't go to our school. I just worshipped the ground she walked on. And she knew, probably to a fault, a little. That was a tough one. I was 15. "She used to live an hour and a half away on the train, and I worked in a bakery for three years. I'd finish on Saturdays at 4:30 and it was a 4:42 train, and if I missed it there wasn't one for another hour or two. So I'd finish and sprint to the train station. Spent 70 percent of my wages on train tickets. Later, I'd remember her perfume. Little things. I smell that perfume all the time. I'll be in a lift or a reception and say to someone, 'Alien, right?' And sometimes they're impressed and sometimes they're a little creeped out. 'Stop smelling me.'" With Taylor Swift in Central Park, 2012 David Krieger/Bauer-Griffin If Styles hadn't yet adapted to global social-media attention, he was tested in 2012, when he met Taylor Swift at an awards show. Their second date, a walk in Central Park, was caught by paparazzi. Suddenly the couple were global news. They broke up the next month, reportedly after a rocky Caribbean vacation; the romance was said to have ended with at least one broken heart. The relationship is a subject he's famously avoided discussing. "I gotta pee first. This might be a long one," he says. He rises to head to the bathroom, then adds, "Actually, you can say, 'He went for a pee and never came back.' " He returns a couple of minutes later. "Thought I'd let you stew for a while," he says, laughing, then takes a gulp of green juice. He was surprised, he says, when photos from Central Park rocketed around the world. "When I see photos from that day," he says, "I think: Relationships are hard, at any age. And adding in that you don't really understand exactly how it works when you're 18, trying to navigate all that stuff didn't make it easier. I mean, you're a little bit awkward to begin with. You're on a date with someone you really like. It should be that simple, right? It was a learning experience for sure. But at the heart of it – I just wanted it to be a normal date." He's well aware that at least two of Swift's songs – "Out of the Woods" and "Style" – are considered to be about their romance. ("You've got that long hair slicked back, white T-shirt," she sang in "Style.") "I mean, I don't know if they're about me or not ..." he says, attempting gallant discretion, "but the issue is, she's so good, they're bloody everywhere." He smiles. "I write from my experiences; everyone does that. I'm lucky if everything [we went through] helped create those songs. That's what hits your heart. That's the stuff that's hardest to say, and it's the stuff I talk least about. That's the part that's about the two people. I'm never going to tell anybody everything." (Fans wondered whether "Perfect," a song Styles co-wrote for One Direction, might have been about Swift: "And if you like cameras flashing every time we go out/And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about/Baby, I'm perfect.") Was he able to tell her that he admired the songs? "Yes and no," he says after a long pause. "She doesn't need me to tell her they're great. They're great songs ... It's the most amazing unspoken dialogue ever." Is there anything he'd want to say to Swift today? "Maybe this is where you write down that I left!" He laughs, and looks off. "I don't know," he finally says. "Certain things don't work out. There's a lot of things that can be right, and it's still wrong. In writing songs about stuff like that, I like tipping a hat to the time together. You're celebrating the fact it was powerful and made you feel something, rather than 'this didn't work out, and that's bad.' And if you run into that person, maybe it's awkward, maybe you have to get drunk ... but you shared something. Meeting someone new, sharing those experiences, it's the best shit ever. So thank you." He notes a more recent relationship, possibly over now, but significant for the past few years. (Styles has often been spotted with Kendall Jenner, but he won't confirm that's who he's talking about.) "She's a huge part of the album," says Styles. "Sometimes you want to tip the hat, and sometimes you just want to give them the whole cap ... and hope they know it's just for them." In late February 2016, Styles landed a plum part in Christopher Nolan's upcoming World War II epic, Dunkirk. In Nolan, Styles found a director equally interested in mystery. "The movie is so ambitious," he says. "Some of the stuff they're doing in this movie is insane. And it was hard, man, physically really tough, but I love acting. I love playing someone else. I'd sleep really well at night, then get up and continue drowning." When Styles returned to L.A., an idea landed. The idea was: Get out of Dodge. Styles called his manager, Jeffrey Azoff, and explained he wanted to finish the album outside London or L.A., a place where the band could focus and coalesce. Four days after returning from the movie, they were on their way to Port Antonio on Jamaica's remote north coast. At Geejam, Styles and his entire band were able to live together, turning the studio compound into something like a Caribbean version of Big Pink. They occupied a two-story villa filled with instruments, hung out at the tree-house-like Bush Bar, and had access to the gorgeous studio on-site. Many mornings began with a swim in the deserted cove just down the hill. Life in Jamaica was 10 percent beach party and 90 percent musical expedition. It was the perfect rite of passage for a musician looking to explode the past and launch a future. The anxiety of what's next slipped away. Layers of feeling emerged that had never made it past One Direction's group songwriting sessions, often with pop craftsmen who polished the songs after Styles had left. He didn't feel stifled in One D, he says, as much as interrupted. "We were touring all the time," he recalls. "I wrote more as we went, especially on the last two albums." There are songs from that period he loves, he says, like "Olivia" and "Stockholm Syndrome," along with the earlier song "Happily." "But I think it was tough to really delve in and find out who you are as a writer when you're just kind of dipping your toe each time. We didn't get the six months to see what kind of shit you can work with. To have time to live with a song, see what you love as a fan, chip at it, hone it and go for that ... it's heaven." The more vulnerable the song, he learned, the better. "The one subject that hits the hardest is love," he says, "whether it's platonic, romantic, loving it, gaining it, losing it ... it always hits you hardest. I don't think people want to hear me talk about going to bars, and how great everything is. The champagne popping ... who wants to hear about it? I don't want to hear my favorite artists talk about all the amazing shit they get to do. I want to hear, 'How did you feel when you were alone in that hotel room, because you chose to be alone?'" To wind down in Jamaica, Styles and Rowland, the guitarist, began a daily Netflix obsession with sugary romantic comedies. Houseworkers would sometimes leave at night and return the next morning to see Styles blearily removing himself from a long string of rom-coms. He declares himself an expert on Nicholas Sparks, whom he now calls "Nicky Spee." After almost two months, the band left the island with a bounty of songs and stories. Like the time Styles ended up drunk and wet from the ocean, toasting everybody, wearing a dress he'd traded with someone's girlfriend. "I don't remember the toast," he says, "but I remember the feeling." Styles in Jamaica. Styles recorded much of his album there, turning his studio complex into a Caribbean version of Big Pink. Courtesy of Harry Styles Christmas 2016. Harry Styles was parked outside his childhood home, sitting next to his father. They were listening to his album. After lunch at a pub, they had driven down their old street and landed in front of the family home. Staring out at the house where Styles grew up listening to his father's copy of The Dark Side of the Moon, there was much to consider. It was a long way he'd traveled in those fast few years since "Isn't She Lovely." He'd previously played the new album for his mother, on a stool, in the living room, on cheap speakers. She'd cried hearing "Sign of the Times." Now he sat with his father – who liked the new song "Carolina" best – both having come full circle. Styles is moved as he describes how he felt. We're sitting in Corden's empty office, talking over a few last subjects before he returns to England. "I think, as a parent, especially with the band stuff, it was such a roller coaster," he says. "I feel like they were always thinking, 'OK, this ride could stop at any point and we're going to have to be there when it does.' There was something about playing the album and how happy I was that told them, 'If all I get is to make this music, I'm content. If I'm never on that big ride again, I'm happy and proud of it.' "I always said, at the very beginning, all I wanted was to be the granddad with the best stories ... and the best shelf of artifacts and bits and trinkets." Tomorrow night he'll hop a flight back to England. Rehearsals await. Album-cover choices need to be made. He grabs his black notebook and turns back for a moment before disappearing down the hallway, into the future. "How am I going to be mysterious," he asks, only half-joking, "when I've been this honest with you?"

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