#personalized video invitation
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Say it like you mean it
#đ#Digital art#Full Art#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#Guess what day it is â„ That's riiiight! It's my own personal Vargasversary here again! :D#I really got it in under the wire with this one lol but I did it! I did do it! 13 whole digital start-to-finish panels.....woaw......#Definitely the biggest of these anniversary projects thus far hehe <3 But I really wanted to see if I could do it and I did it! I'm happy :D#Inspired by many on this one ahh - the obvious being they â„ As ever I still hold them so dearly love them so much <3#The second inspiration source is probably also obvious lol but I've been using a newer-to-me technique to sketch to try and speed up drawing#Specifically inspired from watching Zarla's Handplates speeddraw videos! I'm still a little shaky with it haha#I fell back into my old habits more than once :P But now I understand what over-rendering a sketch means lol - knowledge!#And all-told I think this is probably the longest digital comic I've made in uhhhhhh - at least years#I don't wanna say ever because it still is only 13 panels and two of those share a frame haha but like! That's still a lot for me these days#So I'm pleased for being able to make it in short order! It was fun! I had a good time with it! :D And I think it turned out nice!!#And then the last inspiration source this time around was smol hehe âȘ Despite us both being grown I still tuck her in#It's just something neither of us grew out of haha - it's nice! Another point in us being very Sans and Papyrus lol#But I wanted to give it to the Vargases this time because - eee - smol's turning the age I was when I first read Vargas this year#Obviously my family knows about Vargas as I Will Not Shut Up About It lol but I'm still the only one to have read it#Partially because of how intense and scary it can be! As much as I love it I recognize it's not for everyone - as much as I wish it was haha#But smol and I have pretty similar tastes when it comes to media - so I'm finally inviting her to read it with me âȘ Ahh â«#Getting to share one of my very favourite stories with one of my very favourite people is exciting just to think about!!#And also getting to reread Vargas again hhhhhh I'm feeling Fine and Normal about approaching it again hahahh#Definitely haven't been thinking about and wanting to reread it A Lot Constantly lol#So drawing them again was nice <3 And the new* medium made certain details stand out all the more!#The process of discovery of art as it appears on the screen haha - Scriabin's hand reaching for Edgar only to clench upon his rejection ahh#That last one is also something of a stealth redraw of Scriabin listening to Edgar's heart in mainfic that I made - somehow four years ago??#Nearly five now....more than half of the way back from my having read it the first time ah how'd it get to be so long now...#Every year - every month - every week - every day - every hour - it is Vargas Loving Hours â„
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I would adopt Jack Spicer. I would support his evil schemes specifically because they were his only form or regular socialization. I'd be like, "When are all of your little friends coming over?" and he would be like, "You mean my ENEMIES who I am trying to DESTROY!?" and I'd say, "Oh you're so imaginative sweetie đ" and he'd say, "please stop letting my mortal enemies into my evil lair" and I'd be like "I made this zucchini bread for them, make sure you give it to them next time you see them" and he'd be like "okay" and then he would eat the entire zucchini bread by himself.
#but secretly i made two loafs of zucchini bread and I invited the xiaolin monks over to pick up the other one#and thus his evil schemes would be thwarted once again#ultimate goal is to get them to come over and play video games when they aren't battling for the fate of the world#i see several xiaolin showdowns in person and I keep pretending that I dont notice anything mystical or strange going on#just like#Wow you kids are so creative! It's so great to see Jackie outside getting some fresh air and exercise đ„°#anyways that's my fanfic for if jack Spicer had a parent who was invested in his interests and well-being#xiaolin showdown#my rambles
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this sucks. this all fucking sucks. i wish my dad cared about me like he thinks he does, or like he wants me to think he does, or like he pretends he does. when it's not inconvenient, when he isn't forced to remember i'm trans/mentally ill/disabled/unemployed/unemployable/a Failed Citizen.
i wish anybody was treating it like a big deal that i traveled halfway across the country to spend time with them. it felt like a big deal to me.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#MY FAMILY#i was hoping this trip would like. help me smother my suicidality/depression/sense of worthlessness with a blanket of Familial Love#even if just temporarily#but instead i just feel like. oh. ok. i'm not anybody's priority huh. my dad would rather go to church alone than do an escape room w/ me#b/c he's So Over Masking#my little sister just Doesn't Feel Like driving into town more than one day this weekend#(should i like?? invite myself over to her place instead???)#i keep asking if we can play a game i brought (yazeba's b&b) and i did it once w/ my folks which was fun#but it's better with bigger groups and i keep being like Hey can we play? Or do this other fun thing all together?#and the answer keeps being No we're gonna go do other stuff; why don't you sit down on the couch & keep yourself occupied#and my dad WILL play video games with me but it feels brittle & tense & sharp any time there's a pause in the action#i'm rly glad i saw gramma & aunt lisa but otherwise like. fuck. i wish i hadn't come. how the fuck do i feel even lonelier here.
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one thing that really annoys me is when someone asks a harmless question online about a certain culture or group hoping someone from that culture or group will answer and start a conversation, and a bunch of mfs who no one was talking to are in their replies like "google is free". like i guarantee op knows about google pal they're trying to engage with the world and get to know people with different experiences than them
#not to keep dunking on americans but it's always an american who says 'google it'#like i'm sorry but americans completely failing to recognize an invitation for a cultural exchange is so on brand#literally just saw a video of a guy SCREAMING + flailing in his car because a girl asked if a japanese person could show her their keyboard#guy was american and not japanese. loads of japanese people happily responded and talked to her. idk what he thought he was contributing#we're going into an information dark age because people think using google is a better way to learn about the world than engaging w it
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Petition for Sebastian Stan to move back to Europe and make as many movies as possible there. Good God, man, you're good, Hollywood doesn't deserve you, escape from that hellhole and enjoy working on your art, the ones who really love cinema will appreciate it.
#why can't he be like Cillian who just goes back when Nolan calls him?#but normally lives away from Hollywood (and what it represents) making unforgettable stuff?#ugh#random#personal#my shitty English#Sebastian Stan#first time I'll skip every actors on actors video (even if they invite Saoirse)#what a bunch of cowards#they don't deserve to work the arts
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Does anyone here at the Hazbin Hotel like playing video games? In this case, you ought to check out the âOverview Trailerâ for the newly announced Nintendo Switch 2 on YouTube. The games and features it offers are sure to impress any video gamer at this hotel.
Alastor: No.
Vaggie: Shocker.
Charlie: I like video games, sure, I just haven't had as much time to play any recently. But the systems we have here probably aren't the same ones you're talking about.
Lucifer: Pride used to make some decent systems and games when video games themselves were new. Buuut... It's pretty much thoughtless crap these days. If you want quality you gotta import it from one of the other rings.
Charlie: Dad's really into farming sims and survival games. Stuff that lets you build. I'm more into fantasy rpgs.
Vaggie: I understood some of those words.
Alastor: I'm bored of this conversation!
#ask the Devil's Bastard#Alastor#Vaggie#Charlie Morningstar#Lucifer Morningstar#video game headcanons I'm coming up with on the spot:#Like Charlie said Lucifer prefers games that let him flex his creative side#he prefers to play in creative mode wherever possible#Charlie likes games with heavy story elements#Vaggie's not much of a gamer but she's not disinterested#Angel Dust has the most diverse taste in video games#he'll play mobile games between shoots on set#and after work if he doesn't feel up to clubbing he might play Hell's version of Pokemon one week and then Hell's version of Halo the next#he's a very casual gamer and sometimes lets games sit for months or years before he actually finishes them#Husk is not really a gamer but he'll play fighting games or racing games if invited to play against another person#Cherri is somewhere between Angel and Husk preferring competitive games but having a wide range of interest#Niffty likes dating sims. particularly the r18 ones
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one topic I find weirdly charming is stuff for kids that's basically specific to one place. when there's some obscure thing that pretty much everyone outside your country goes 'what?' and everyone in your country goes 'OH MY GOD THAT' when you mention it, that's the shit
#personal crap#you are not only invited but requested to put your country's examples of this :p#i don't mean shit like thomas the tank engine or asterix or tintin or moomins that get everywhere i mean very region specific shit#ofc this also excludes like 90% of american kid's stuff lmao#i mostly though of this because of a jj mccullough video where he went to chile#and one thing he got was a print of this famous cartoon character that chileans love but doesnât exist outside chile#and bc of joel joking about being scared of bamse on an april fools stream#so when i went to malmö and saw a bamse painted on a wall i went oh shit#obviously as a brit i know tonnes of ours- mostly old animated shows like magic roundabout and wombles and clangers lol#though it's still wild to me how we share the first one with the french#sidenote but someone made a fascinating documentary on yt about the movie of that and how it became doogle#he discussed the whole history of it and even interviewed a bunch of the writers and animators it was really interesting
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The Spring semester has officially started, which means I am now fully preparing for my comps, a two-hour oral exam that I have to take in order to officially become a PhD candidate. I have to read ninety books by May, latest August : )
Iâve gotten started with the most exciting of my three reading lists: the Gothic!! Basically, my reading is going to be a journey of getting a comprehensive overview of all things 19th-century British/Victorian literature, 19th-century Latin American literature, and the Gothic. Iâve already gotten started with my first five books, but I thought the other day: I feel like video reviews of each book would be a fantastic way to remember the important information about each of the readings. Nothing crazy or long, just a 2-5 minute review of the book and why itâs important if you want to become a student of the literature.
Anyways, I like this idea a lot and I feel like sharing it on my old bookstagram or on TikTok would be a nice way to get a dopamine hit for the reviews â if anyone were to watch or react to my reviews, I know it would make reviewing the books all the more fun!
But . . . And this is a big but . . . Then that would mean that Iâd be opening myself to being perceived. And thatâs really embarrassing to me. Like, what if I make a video and nobody gives a fuck? Thatâs so embarrassing. What if I make a video and a student or someone in my program sees it? Mortifying. It really does seem fun and a small part of me really want to do it but man, oh man, would I be scared!!
#personal#i am still struggling to kill the part of me that cringes#in my little fantasy world Iâd just upload videos regularly about my journey to becoming a phd candidate#and invite anybody who wants to learn more about vampires and ghosts and period romances to follow along and read with me!!!#or just enjoy the reviews : )#and the videos would be easy and low-key no bells or whistles but it would feel like a joy to post and share#and the sense that ANYONE was watching would also help keep me accountable with my reading schedule and not fall off the band wagon#that all said i probs wont do it bc Iâm too afraid dude!! I donât wanna be PERCEIVED
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today i think about how some men really think all (or at least most) women just dont like sex at all and it still kinda shocks me that they genuinely believe this! being in fandom spaces from a young age the type of shit ill see women saying about some fictional character or actor even has me flabbergasted at times
#im bringing this up cause!!!#like i finally learned about the âhawk tuahâ girl and im just shaking my head#first of all i was avoiding it cause i already knew it was some shit i did not wanna know about#for various reason#but now i saw a video about it and#i just feel bad for her#like u really cant make a joke without ppl thinking its an invitation to be gross towards you#but also i dont get the obsession#i get why its happening#but from my point of view im just like...what is wrong with you ppl#is it really that shocking that a women would say that??#it also kinda had me thinking about my short flop history of trying to date#and how in the end what what i mainly got from it is just to never talk about sex ever#it really is a shame#you react positively to sex and thats the only aspect of you that matters forever#like seriously some guys will piss you off/ignore you and then try to go back to flirting with you when its convenient for them#like thats fuckin weird if you do that im sorry#people have layers come on now#someone liking sex doesnt mean....âah yes i dont have to try to be decent or treat this person wellâ#yall gotta really start looking at people#like look at them#that persn has a whole inner world going on#this isnt a cartoon or game where they have one character trait#if you cant grasp this then leave that person alone lol#anyways sorry tangent#but yea thats my morning thoughts for today
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Iâm doing it again đ
#always think abt that person who commented on my Kellyâs cabin epilogue video saying itâs not perfect without SamâŠâŠ.#I failed youâŠ.. but Kellyâs cabin is a 2 bedroom houseâŠ. and even if there were 20 rooms heâs still not invited đ
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youtube
This rap that Hashiyan and Amatsuki covered of Fuck the PTA (the nashimoto ui song) still is so good. Some of the most rage I've felt in a nashimoto song (and vocaloid-sphere in general)
The instrumentation is also a cover since in the original Nashimoto song he didn't use any electronic sounds. I think covers that slightly twinge the genre of a song are interesting.
#me anytime i'm high: vocaloid autism lore activating#my friends know me by my long sitting sessions of dragging people to watch them with me.#if u invite you to show you songs personally i will create a curated video playlist of my favorites hhhh#vocaloid#nashimoto ui#kutabare no pta#nashimotop#Youtube
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apparently this is like the hottest take in the world but I think it's really rude to invite people to your wedding without a plus one like I gotta come by myself to watch you get married because I'm not already married. ok
#sounds like you can't afford to invite me period! rather than making a snobby ig video about how you've never met my date before and it's#yOuR dAy#idk why I'm phrasing this in the first person this is not happening to me right now#I just think people have gotten weirdly aggressive and hurtful about this on social media
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..
#I havenât been online all day so idk what the discourse has been like compared to yesterday#But can I just say that in a lot of videos that I saw - Brittany and Taylor were studiously ignoring each other#And I have been reflecting Jaimeâs post about who else was in the box and what the event was and who was invited#And I feel like I fell into the trap of trying to interpret an entire social situation based on a few moments#And forgot that she and Brittany both have conversations and experiences outside of what we witness#Which I am usually fairy aware of with Taylor but I think itâs easier to slip into it when she does something that I wouldnât do#Like itâs just so much easier (for me) to dehumanize people when theyâve done something âbadâ#And that pattern seems related to the internal cancel culture (bullshit) and the desire for accountability (punitive version)#Which creates this impulse to sort people as good and bad#Which is not at all to say that I imagine Taylor is theoretically justified in being friendly with someone endorsing a dictator#But that my reaction to my assumption about her being BFFs with that vile woman led me to jump on a hate train without watching the footage#And like everybody has a right to be upset by her actions- which are pretty literally enabling a dictator to benefit from her name.#But I donât think itâs as simple as her being besties with the lady. And I am trying to remind myself that I am not on a global stage#I was just as friendly with a trumper a few days ago at an HOA picnic. Which does not exist in a vacuum-#I am politically active in the community around some big picture stuff and part of that means I need the truly vile people to respect me#And i need to ask about their kids and remember their names and their health issues or whatever and let them hug me#Because that is what being in a collaborative harm reduction type political position means for me. I get waaaayyy..#More radical shit done when they trust me and enjoy chatting with me about trees and know I see them as human#And Taylor is obviously in a vastly different situation than me - she has a lot more power in many many ways- but she also#Certainly has more context (like me bc sheâs a whole person) that weâre not privy to.#Idk sorry for the long rambling praxis rant#Just was at a RJ training all day talking about prison abolition and now am processing by philosophizing about Taylor#Just thereâs a lot less dopamine hits in taking a step back then there are in reposting stuff without context#Which again is not to say that anyone shouldnât be upset. The situation is imo objectively upsetting.#And taking a step back and giving a person the benefit of the doubt is most often allowed for white women#And we should practice taking the time to do that whenever we can and like if I canât even do it with a famous lady I donât know#How am I supposed to learn and practice doing it in my own life#Idk#c#TJ
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Dying to know how you all got into DSMP. Like I want you to be EXACT what is the first stream/video you watched, how did you find it, where were you at the time, what time of what year, any other relevant information bc it's fascinating
#look anika's talking!#mcyt#dsmp#dream smp#me personally my friend invited me to her house after school (9th grade) (February 2021) and she forced me to watch the Mexican Dream video#then she sent me the ev*nmcg*ming recap videos and wilbur's lmanberg playlist and told me to watch them#which i started a week or so later when i was home sick from school (February 20-something 2021)#first stream i watched live was tommy leaving prison after being killed and revived
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Another day of swifties being way too invested and over involved in Taylorâs life.
I have read a portion of Scottâs email but stopped reading halfway through. But from what Iâm seeing online.. I mean is any of this new info? So the Swift family are total Capitalists (capital C)? Weâve known this for years. So Taylorâs parents may not have always had an amicable relationship - while on the verge of or going through a divorce. I mean we donât need to know that (and shouldnât??) but itâs hardly shocking. A parent feeling like their teenage kid doesnât appreciate them or recognise all the things they do to support them - mindblowing.
Another day of overanalysing minuscule things Taylor has said, and changing the meaning of song lyrics to fit the current narrative - that Scott is an abusive father/husband. Apparently Tolerate It is about Scott now - funny how it was about Joe last week?? Maybe we just need to accept that we really have no clue whatâs going on in Taylorâs life (and I feel more and more that the stuff we do know about Taylor is a very carefully crafted public persona - again not very shocking).
Honestly, the only thing that matters right now in the year 2023, Taylor stills has a very public and seemingly positive relationship with her father. Taylor is not a teenager anymore, she is a woman in her 30âs, she can decide if/how she continues to have a relationship with her parents. Scott - along with Andrea - constantly attend her shows, and the family were all at the Chiefs game just a few days ago. Whatever may have happened 20 years ago they at least have a somewhat amicable relationship now. Considering this is all in relation to a court case Iâm going to hazard a guess that Taylor has known about these emails for a while- so clearly sheâs not too angry at her Dad? If she (or Andrea) didnât know, or are actually more resentful/angry then theyâre willing to let us know - thatâs fine, thatâs their prerogative. Because itâs their family.
#taylor swift#Joe was right lmao#I dont mean Taylor was wrong#I just mean if I was in his position and my mega famous partner wanted to#become even more public and invite even more speculation and rumors into our lives#I wouldâve dipped straight away#sorry but I could not cope with this#the fact that people think itâs ok to speculate and make multiple videos about Scott and Andreaâs personal lifeâs#just because they are Taylorâs PARENTS#that is astounding#and.. I have to say Taylor has actively been encouraging this#I mean it was fine when they were doing it to Joe so itâs fine that they do it to Andrea and Scott right??
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sam w/ a flamethrower is pretty fuckin cool actually
#mine#text#sam giddings#until dawn#WATCHING A BUNCH OF BETA UD STUFF RN. THANK YOU LAZYCOYOTE#im absolutely LIVING for the sam / emily interactions.... fave rn is when em said 'right back at ya lady' what is weong w/ her#also watched one from like 2010 and like... dont know who ANY of these people are but i think it wouldve been reaaaal interesting if the-#-person who was behind everything actually like. had the opportunity to KILL the friends#bc in the video i saw th e ''''''pyscho'''''' (sorry for using that word) killed this character named val#and she looked pretty dead 2 me#so them like. actually being able to KILL kill. is like... so interesting to me#plus it wouldve been a much better plot than the actual villain beinfg the w*ndigos#and who knnows maybe the person who invited everyone up to the mountain again (this version's josh) wasnt actually the killer?#maybe there was a legitimate other person on the mountain w/ them?#i suppose then it would take away what's so interesting and unique abt until dawn but... eh#id rather have that than what they did in the actual game. in terms of the w*ndigos i mean#anyway gonna watch a 40+ minute one now byyyye#my thoughts#my sam tag#my UD tag#UD
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