#personal.text

[oceansway]

Kamerata Zuid & Anneke van Giersbergen - Let The Light In (live @ Markan...

One of my favorite singers who I follow for years, wrote this song for the LGBTQIA+ community. In a time where I am sometimes afraid to go outside and walk through the streets, where I read the daily hate in comments under almost every post about LGBT on almost every app, where it's becoming more and more dangerous to be yourself and where it seems that almost every different group of people in this world is against the community, it's sometimes hard for me to stay positive and keep myself in mind that I am worthy and that I matter. That I am not what all those people online say about us. I hope I can soon experience Pride again, and meet like-minded people, and to feel love again. I hope I can soon feel that I matter again. For it's been so long I've felt those things.

That's why this song means a lot to me. It's one thing to follow an artist for years and years, but finding out that she is also very supportive of the community makes me love her even more.

The composition, the lyrics and especially the last part of the song; her voice, her long notes, it's what I always loved about her. I saw her live again only a few weeks ago, amazing as ever. A brief recognition that I was there with a wave and a smile. I'm so happy for this song.

Even in dark times, in scary times, and in times I'm afraid how things will go on or evolve.. I hope that everyone will let their light in. And keep doing it. Because we matter.

Happy pride!

💖🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💖

[metacove]

Oh Greg, that was my first Greg monologue god damn it

[deathmentaal]

rewatching shameless after all these years feels so great. like im growing old and all i need is for things to feel comfortable and warm as i undergo through a joyless life of adulthood

[henry-winter]

Goodreads' reading challenges and its negative effects.

Disclaimer: this is based on my experiences with it. This is not a generalization nor I am criticizing Goodreads for doing this.

Now that I got that disclaimer out of the way, I will rant about the reading challenges for a bit. You see, the first time I noticed the challenges—back when I first made my account—I was so excited for them. I thought "huh, maybe this will be fun. I'll read a lot and make it count," turns out I was wrong. It was fun in the beginning, but then it turned into something I wasn't ready for.

Reading has been my biggest love since I was only six years old. My grandfather would read history books to me, and share interesting facts that he thought I would love. His love for books and learning was passed on to me and it stuck. Reading feels like coming home or rather going to another home where I'll meet new characters and stories that will make my heart soar.

I would start a book and finish it in one sitting or in a week. I could devour them like candy and still wanted to read more. But as I grew up, and got busy with school and life in general, my reading habits changed. And also my tastes changed as well, which usually earns some teasing from my friends as I like what they call "old books".

This is where the reading challenges come in and with them those negative feelings I get quite often. As soon as I saw them, I would put 20 or 30 books for the year because I thought I would finish it quickly and I'd end up adding more and more until I reached 100 books a year. Which I'm aware is entirely possible, since I know some people from discord nets who can do it. But not me.

Those reading challenges took my fun away turning what I loved most into a chore. More often than not it would feel like I had to read a book just to add it to my challenge rather than actually wanting to read it. I knew I would never reach the goal, that's when the negativity started, then the guilt and so on.

I felt inadequate, like I failed myself for not even completing a task and that's when I realized how wrong I was. God, I felt like a complete idiot. I mean, honestly, why did I let this rule my life? It's like worrying about silly content on social media and its reach to other people or worrying over not getting enough views on a YouTube video.

It made me realize I was slowly turning my safe heaven into something insignificant that most likely no one would congratulate me for. How is it that silly little things like this make us more miserable? It actually reminds me about a quote from The Secret History by Donna Tartt.

“It is is better to know one book intimately than a hundred superficially.” (Tartt, 1992, p. 31)

It rings true to me, the feeling of knowing a book so intimately that you can quote it from memory. One that will make you feel a thousand emotions throughout your body with one sentence. A book that will make you feel seen.

As I said in the disclaimer, this is just based on me. If reading challenges make you happy and motivate you to read more, then I'm happy for you. That's great and I'm glad it brings something nice to your life. But the more I think about it, the more I still feel a failure.

I know that one day I will be able to read more than 100 books a year, or maybe not. However, my love for books will prevail and it won't matter if it's a small pile compared to a big one from someone else. Our reading habits and experiences are different and no less valid than another.

This has turned into one big rant, so I'll end it here. But before I finish, I just want to say that Goodreads is a good website. Very useful and fun, one that I enjoy using and will continue to use for a long time. I, on the other hand, had to get this out of my chest.

If you made it here, thank you for reading.

[fin-flora]

I know yall are busy and hyped but I need to know something.

does anyone else have the problem with not or actually rather never finding the right words?

like you know what your brain is thinking but it's like the complex things you do seem to understand are not constructed in words in your head and you have problems translating said constructs into language?

if anyone knows what that is or might be hit me up...

[flyingxxbison]

Me: *charges a 100% battery so I can be ready to face tomorrow with all my power*

Also me: *stays up all night reading fics and wasting the battery*

[faggottomcruise]

does anyone want my home remedy for a short mood lift

[freddieandrsen-blog]

"if i were single we'd be dating" IF I WERE SINGLE WE'D BE DATING IF I WERE SINGLE WE'D BE DATING

[cemeterygod]

i will appear from the storm with something to give

[oceansway]

I cannot find the words to say how deeply sad I've been

[faggottomcruise]

actual home remedy mood boost ( verified by me ) :

- get a blanket. any blanket, depending on your temperature zone. you don't have to be under it, just have one around

- make a hot ponyo. I've long since lost the actual post + recipe but it's basically this: put some water on to boil. while you're waiting, coat the bottom ( approx 1-2 tablespoons ) with honey. put in cinnamon as you see fit. fill half of the mug with boiling water and the other half with milk. enjoy!

- watch chicken yodelling. search it up on YouTube and enjoy an elderly Japanese man yodelling in German with chickens and having the time of his life.

just for a small mood boost, this really helps. have a good day!

[freddieandrsen-blog]

like i shouldn't have to justify why i like a team?? i love toronto, they'll always be /my/ team, they're the reason i began to love hockey. But so are the capitals and i shouldn't have to feel bad because of it.

[floraisondev]

everyday is a rough day. everyday i get frustrated af. tf is wrong with me :/

[oceansway]

Guys really are fucking stupid.

[ephemra]

Today is day 365

[igne-conflatum]

What am i suppose to fucking do with all these emotions.