#personal post augh

[sweetronancer]

nummy vent post!! (sorry)

tw : silliness + mentions of under eating and also emetophobia (somehow argh)

my stomach hurts like pretty much all the time and i really have no idea why, theres no reason for it to be like hurting all the time? when i eat it hurts but when i don't eat it hurts too, i mean it could be my horrible eating habits- because i literally cant eat. im never hungry- or like maybe i am but my body doesnt give me that signal. but my stomach hurts so much all the damn time and i feel like im going to throw up 75% of the time and its horrible because then i have to slow myself down and try to focus on the feeling so it goes away. yk how when like youre going to vomit and you gather a bunch of saliva in your mouth before? like like salivating.. that happens to me all the time and i just have to ask like nothings wrong yk? like my stomach doesnt hurt because im sure everyone i know irl is pissed off because i say it so much.

and ig my eating happens concern my parents. like idk i just havent been hungry. i dont feel hungry like i feel perfectly fine yk? its not like my body needs food im perfectly fine without it, but the problem is that im like extremely dehydrated. i dont drink water like at all help?? i mean i dont feel good and i know why but theres nothing i can do to change it- i mean there are things i can do but im horrible at doing things that are good for me. i feel horrible like- im always cold and i feel like im about to just lose it bro, and im about to faint sometimes too but yk!!! im not happy- i dont let myself be happy because i cant be happy but it is what it is fellas-

and like on top of that i have the need to yap online about what i like because none of my friends irl listen to me (besides one) and they just flat out ignore me when i try. but i listen to intensely when they talk about something they like, whether i know what it is or not! i dont communicate my feelings though, i just sit in silence and stop yapping when someone acts uninterested because what i like doesnt matter yk? it just doesnt and thats okay!!! i guess im adjusting to listening to other people talk about what they like.

theres more but im too overwhelmed for this shit dawg

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[essektheylyss]

I have to wonder about the order of the arrival of the gods' avatars in Exandria, in particular Ayden. Because he's so young. He feels older than his years, but he also feels young in the sense that he is still experiencing the world—he intervenes as often as he is able and is not shy about ending with the small community that they are soon leaving, he is most affected by suffering and injustice. There is a pity borne of his divine point of view, yes, but even comparing him to Trist, who has obviously embraced the mortal world and ingrained herself within it, or S.I.L.A.H.A., who has gone out of his way to experience the wonders of the city that has driven them to such drastic lengths but who seems distantly resigned to its destruction, Ayden feels impressed upon by the circumstances of the world in a way that is much more youthful.

It seems that there was some amount of plan around who arrived when, but it wasn't all that specific beyond Ioun scouting ahead in Aeor, and was otherwise based on their own decision or whim. Why did Pelor wait so long to go? Had he hoped that perhaps the issue would be resolved before it became necessary—before the light of Exandria was sequestered away in a mortal form? Was he wary of growing too used to being mortal, to becoming attached to his life even beyond Trist, who leaves her family ruefully but resolutely all the same?

Ayden walks as though he cannot help but let the world touch him, but he doesn't seem to have companions of his own, instead traveling with Trist's family. They have left their home recently enough that Trist is still wearing her husband's overcoat rather than her own, and he goes without, suggesting that they have fled recently and with haste. In contrast, Ayden makes no mention of parents or a family, though he is young enough that he should still be with them. In this time of war, it is simple to wonder if they've been killed in its path, perhaps before Ayden was aware of the hand he'd had in its making. He carries little, and the shield he has seems to be—at least looks—worn and broken. It's quite likely that it too was created in response to this war, as much as Ayden himself. He looks to his sister and her mercy like a north star.

He feels both new to and impressed upon by the world, and I have to wonder how forcefully he is holding himself apart from its suffering, even as he intervenes often enough that he risks giving himself and his family away—not because he is afraid to experience it, but because he already has. He understands that he is fighting for this world even as he and his family is the cause of its strife. Aeor may offer the gods the mechanism by which to separate themselves from the world they've shaped, but I wonder if having the perspective of Ayden will give Pelor the resolve and the reason to choose it.

[kuromi-hoemie]

being like 5’2” - 5’4” is so attractive to me like omg ur head fits right under my chin and right in my tits ♡⁠ let me hold you. i love being a tall girl

[clownsuu]

Big mama moment ❤️

I wanna hug her

Also I hope you dont mind, I really wanted to color something so I could practice my rendering and you're a huge inspiration to me

aYO COLORED MOB FEM!ROB-!!!!

[skitty-kirby]

Decided to take a small break from Art Fight (combination of sudden bad internet connection + slight burnout) so I made a little midnight shitpost to not get rusty hhhh So here we got more shenanigans: -Skitty is deeply afraid of spiders, her friend Scarlette owns a pet tarantula named "Helix" that she likes to tease her with. RIP those support beams. And my understanding of perspective LMAO -Blade does absolutely speak in keysmash. :^) -Did I ever tell y'all about the time I had an OCxCanon ship of my own? Except the only OC I had almost 11 years ago during my early DeviantArt days was Skitty and uh. Yeah. While it's obviously not canon anymore, it's still something I like to poke fun at every now and then. xD

[dromaeo-sauridae]

grant me the strength wisdom and power to make this phone call

[risingsunresistance]

heart of gold being the name for healer class xp gain... techno playing healer..... you see my vision there's something here

[canisalbus]

Sorry but we were speaking about history in a part of one of my classes and when the Vatican came on. I had to draw the sad dog man.

Machete is now immortalized in my class notes. It’s in spanish by the way, which is kind of funnily appropriate considering latin is very close to spanish.

.

[spottedenchants]

WIP Wednesday

Still been chipping away at the first time fic and just got over a big hurdle in chapter 3, so here's a fun chunk from chapter 1 :D

enjoy! :3

--

Essek hums, satisfied, as he rights Caleb’s shirt collar to its position a mere minute ago and returns to scratching fingertips along Caleb’s jaw, through the hair that has grown in well enough to darken the cut of it quite noticeably. Already a beard in appearance after only a few short days, it isn’t yet particularly soft.

But the sh-skritch of it…. Certainly an entertaining sound.

Sh-skritch sh-skritch.

Caleb, still seated lax, his hands folded polite in his lap while he performs his part as the subject of Essek’s study, leans his jaw into Essek’s hand.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m beginning to better understand the extent of your grooming habits while you were in Rosohna.”

“How is that?”

Essek holds Caleb by the chin and angles his head leftward with care.

“I thought it was a pretty quick shift, from your initial, mm…”

Right, left. Hm. What to call that mess.

Down, and up- ah, notable delineation under the chin here, but a fade here on either side…. The hair spreads farther down his throat than Essek recalls. Caleb must usually keep these portions trimmed.

A combination, then.

“Ensemble, to the style you kept.”

Side and side, a tad bit longer between cheek hollow and ear, less stiff than the rest along his jawline as well. Does length play such a significant role? Though, perhaps here it is also a result of the reach of his conditioner during baths.

Essek scratches a detour through the coarser bits again.

“Have you made use of any oils?”

Sh-skritch.

Wasn’t it Fjord who made a mention of that? Essek briefly considers along the lines of plain logic, but can’t presently dredge up the memory.

Sh-skritch sh-skritch.

“Too rough for you?”

Caleb lets out a little laugh, which Essek easily requites.

“Mere curiosity.”

He can handle Caleb’s prickles pretty well.

He continues his sh-skritching now under Caleb’s chin and Caleb juts his jaw like a happy kitty.

“It’s been a fair while since I have grown it out so much.”

Blatant dodge. Considering Caleb’s original maintenance plan of a continually smooth face paired with the spontaneity of this research, that’s likely a no, then. Though- the tower can easily provide any manner of conditioners, oils, softeners, the like.

But anyway, back on track.

“If your facial hair grows in this fast, it was certainly frequent upkeep to maintain it gone as well.”

Essek turns Caleb front and center, runs a thumb down his chin- hm. Thick as the hair here now is, even his little dimple is only there in memory.

“Quite a deliberate attempt at camouflage, wasn’t it?”

He meets Caleb’s eyes.

“A presentation of conformity, and yet one of intimidating pride and distinction.”

Blue eyes crinkled bright, Caleb gives him half a grin.

“Takes one to know one.”

Essek mirrors the smirk.

“Perhaps.”

“You didn’t think this then?”

“I didn’t know what to think. You all are…”

Idly toying with the fastening buttons keeping down Caleb’s collar, Essek exhales in a slow stream.

He hated them all as much as he feared them, which is to say, with every fiber of his being. Strange, wild, unpredictable lot.

Ah.

“Eccentric.”

Caleb bumps a chuckle, mouth curling quite prettily.

“I suppose, though I would have hoped my own styling put me in better graces, maybe appearing respectful to the locale- those watching.”

Those watching, hm.

Raising his gaze to meet Caleb’s again, Essek inclines his own head.

“Did you have specfic targets in mind, Caleb?”

Caleb shrugs, his face too nonchalant for the dip in his voice.

“The closest eyes, at least.”

“Well….”

Essek gives an equally smooth lean.

He deposits a kiss upon the apple of Caleb’s cheek and darts back with a full grin.

“Despite your best efforts, I at least ended up liking you.”

“I will, in that case, consider my failure a success.”

[waitineedaname]

feeling completely insane about The Author And His Protagonist™️ this morning and now I'm thinking about bingqiu too, and like. Airplane of course wrote Luo Binghe to be everything he wasn't, this cool and powerful stallion protagonist. And he also wrote him to be what the readers wanted, especially as time went on. But there's bit of himself embedded in Binghe -- his insecurities, his fear of abandonment, his loneliness, his hunger for love. Those vulnerabilities are hidden away under layers of strength and stallion badassery in PIDW, but for Bingmei, they're laid bare and ratcheted up to eleven

And then Shen Yuan. He of course loved Luo Binghe The Protagonist™️ but he fell in love with Luo Binghe, the real person with insecurities and fears and strange ugly edges to his personality. He saw this carnival mirror reflection of Airplane's flaws, and he wanted nothing more than to wrap Binghe up and love him and care for him and soothe those insecurities

If I was Airplane, bingqiu would be like therapy for me

[hewmitcwaft]

HEY! HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL ME ABOUT PIXANDRIA!! DO U HAVE ANY BRAIN THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ANTHILL?!

OH BOY DO I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stuffedsand]

Hmmm trying to think of more questions.....ok milgramblr. hot take on ANYTHING. Milgram related preferably but if you don't wanna you can post a non milgram related kne too that'd be fun. Don't have to actually answer this I just kinda wanna see. Opinions from me will not change at all because I literally don't care about anything ever‼️‼️‼️

[volivolition]

DAY 10: EMPATHY - Lost little pearls of light. Tiny fires in the dark.

YAY YIPPEE a collab piece with @euclydya!! it drew the LOVELY linework and i finished the colors/shading!! wah im incredibly happy i got to do an art collab with y'all, thank you so much my beloveds :D!! <333 <222

without overlay!!

[essektheylyss]

I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.

[plusultraetc]

I've accepted that this fic will probably never be finished (although parts of it may be repurposed for future stories), but this exchange still makes me :')

+ bonus bc it made me laugh all over again