#personal blogs i am literally BEGGING U not to touch this. literally begging

[walrus150915]

I feel like a lot of people in the fandom tend to forget this, so I'm just here to give a kind, thoughtful reminder :]

Ambrosius Goldenloin in the movie is an East Asian man (Korean-coded), his skin is tan, his eyes are monolid and his nose is big

He's voiced by Eugene Lee Yang - a Korean-American actor who also has Chinese and Japanese heritage. Eugene Lee Yang looks like this:

During the production, when Ambrosius was decided to be East Asian, artists looked up queer East Asian-American men, and based Ambrosius off of them. Ambrosius is literally drawn to look like Eugene Lee Yang

Please draw him as such, thank you

[strawnav]

"Hachi —"

"He didn't tell me. Not exactly. But he —" Jinbei's voice falters, and Nami fights to keep her shoulders squared and her expression smooth, when he says, "— he warned me, about the kinds of things I might do that he felt might...be upsetting to you. So that I could avoid those behaviors."

Some part of Nami's heart breaks, and she smiles, faint and almost sharp, at the idea of Hatchan trying to protect her in this small, simple way. It's kind, but it's something else, too. "And based on what he said, you've...guessed."

He doesn't pretend otherwise, and she appreciates it. "Yes. Not the finer details, but...some of it."

She sits, body suddenly feeling heavy, and sinks into one of the room's plush seats. It's quiet, in the library. Just her and their newest crew member, who she does not fear. Who she does not fear. But her body remembers. Suddenly she can do little else. "What did he say?"

Jinbei would clearly rather not say, but he sits, too, and respects her too much to lie or evade. "He said it might make you uncomfortable to see me using a firearm." Her mind fills with images and sounds, the bang of a gunshot / the sight of her mothers skull exploding, viscera falling out like a spilled bowl / Nojiko's scream. "He told me to let you eat first, before myself, if there was ever a situation where we needed to eat in turns." It's been years since she's been forced to skip a meal, either because her captors decided she wasn't worthy of food or because spending even a cent on a meal was selfish, but she remembers the clutching, devouring hunger and the way her ribs felt against her skin nevertheless. "He though it would be best if I avoided waking you at night if there was any other option." His voice twists, and she doesn't have it in her to wonder what he's imagining. The first six months were the hardest, as far as sleep goes, never being allowed more than a few hours at a time because Arlong wanted to break her circadian rhythm, forcing her up at random to redo maps she knew were perfect. The years after, when she'd wake screaming and be beat for causing such a racket, and the way now she can't scream when she wakes up at all.

She swallows thickly, does not try to force the memories away, does try not to let them settle.

"Was that all?" Nami asks, her voice stronger than she feels.

"And he...suggested I shouldn't come near you generally while you're working on maps."

That has her stiffening. A too - large hand against her skull, slamming her face to her work table, smearing wet ink on her cheeks and blooming bruises beneath it. The memories always float closest to the surface when she draws maps, and that makes her so fucking angry she still wants to scream some days, because drawing maps is her passion. She loves little more. And he took it from her, transformed the simple, warm joy into a source of fear and anger. It's hers, now, but it isn't just her body that he left scarred. It's her dream. Every day, the scars fade, and she believes that someday, it'll be all hers again, but that she has a scar to heal at all is all wrong.

"Hah. That was kind of him." Her hand raises, pressing idly to her tattoo and the jagged scar beneath it. "I kind of hate how weak it makes me seem, though. That he thinks you need to walk on eggshells around me, just because Arlong hurt me."

"Not weak," Jinbei says. "I know that you're the farthest thing from weak."

Nami smiles, not looking at him, and tries to remember that he's right. "I want to tell you about it. Everything that happened." Hatchan was being kind, to tell him this. Nojiko was being kind, when she told Sanji and Usopp. She understands. But it's not their story to share. "I want you to know, and I want you to hear it from me."

He stiffens, and she can tell even without looking at him by the way his breath skips. Fishmen and humans breathe differently. She knows that, too. She imagines hearing a fishman's breath at her back while she draws a map, and is forced to consider that at least one piece of Hachi's advisements may be wise. Jinbei nods and says, "Of course."

"I'm not telling you to hurt you. This crew is like a family to me, and that means you, too. I want everything to be out on the table between us." She looks at him, still smiling, tired but not lying. "And I think we both need the reminder that we're strong enough to bear the truth."

Jinbei smiles, too, and nods again. Nami inhales.

"The reason Hachi probably thought it might upset me if I saw you with a gun — the first thing Arlong did to me was invade my village when I was ten. He took it over, and demanded tribute from everyone. My mother, she — she only had enough money for herself or for my sister and I, and she chose to save us. Arlong — he shot her in the head in front of us." She's surprised at how even her voice is, even while he heart breaks at the memory. She'd tried to help Bellemere after; tiny, trembling hands reaching as though she could put her brains back in her skull, and Nojiko had held her back. Jinbei looks, again, like he may cry, and Nami feels herself grow more tired.

He starts, "I'm so —"

"No," she says. "Don't. It's not your fault. I don't blame you. You've apologized already, and I accepted it. You're not your brother, and I know that. Seeing you with a gun wouldn't scare me, because I know you're not like him."

Jinbei nods, lips thin. Nami looks back to the half - finished map resting on her work table. It's nice, that she can take breaks whenever she wants now. She lets her eyes rest there.

"After he killed my mother, he found a map I'd drawn. I don't remember what I said, but I must have gotten mad at him for touching it or something, because he realized I drew it. Even back then, I was good at it, and Arlong took me away. A man in the vilage who cared about me — he's like a father to me — tried to stop him from taking me, and he was...he got hurt, real badly for it. He almost died."

She doesn't look back at Jinbei. She thinks of Genzo's voice, ragged, barely - there, soaked with blood, I'll save you, Nami. She thinks of screaming, begging him to abandon her. It took her so long after to learn that she was allowed to let others protect her, that she doesn't get everyone who loves her hurt.

"Once he took me away, Arlong beat me and made me watch him sink the Navy ships that came close. I didn't understand what he wanted, but...he was just trying to prove to me that I was alone. That help wasn't coming. He said I could join his crew as their cartographer. I —" Her voice breaks, just barely, as she remembers the little girl, so scared, so small, who'd had to be so, so brave. She wishes she could hold her. She wishes she could tell her that it would be okay someday. "I told him I'd only work for him if he'd let me buy the village back from him someday. And he agreed."

"He did?" Jinbei sounds sincerely surprised, and Nami laughs weakly, eyes drifting to her knees.

"He did. I'd just have to earn one hundred million berries for him, and I'd have the town's freedom. And my own."

"One hundred —"

"I was still a little girl, so I — I didn't really understand just how big that number was. But I didn't...there wasn't any choice. I d - didn't see any other choice. No one was coming to save us. Either I protected the village, or...or they'd all die, like my mom did." She inhales raggedly. "It was all I could do."

"I'm sorry," he says again, and her head snaps to him but before she can tell him to stop, he says, "I'm not taking responsibility. But I am sorry that happened. That shouldn't have...no child should ever be put in that position."

He's right. Nami smiles, and allows herself a few tears. All of the others said the same, when she'd told them. It's a good reminder, that her pain was as horrible and wrong as it had felt. As it still feels, on the worst days.

"Anyway, I ended up working for him. It was more like I was his prisoner than a member of the crew. He gave me a tattoo on my arm of his Jolly Roger, like — hah, well. I guess like a brand." Jinbei's face twists, a mixture of guilt and fury, and she thinks of Fisher Tiger's last words and understands, at least a little. "He was...awful to me. Almost the whole crew was. I went without food a lot. I got beat a lot. He didn't let me sleep enough or eat enough, and he almost killed me more times than I can count. I think he expected me to die. I think he wanted me to." It hadn't felt like an option to her. She was all that stood between Arlong and the village. "He let me stop wearing chains when I turned twelve. A birthday present." Jinbei's expression contorts further. She reaches out her free hand, hesitates, and then commits, resting it over his. His eyes widen as his head snaps towards the contact, then towards her face.

She smiles, trying to comfort them both. This aches, but she's told the story to the others enough that at least the wound isn't new. The hurt is like a stone, stuck in the center of her chest — whenever she tells someone, it feels like chipping away at it.

"He was...exacting about his maps. He locked me in a little room for a long time, didn't let me see any other humans for years. It was just work and maps and getting hurt whenever I tried to rest. I couldn't breathe. When he finally started letting me leave the island, I started stealing from — anywhere. Anything I could get my hands, to save the money to buy the island. Eventually, I started stealing from pirates."

Nojiko's horror, the first time she came home, blood dripping from her mouth and wounds across her arms and chest. Who cares that I'm hurt, I got ten thousand berries right here!

It's easier, to tell this part of the story.

"They hurt me, too, but...honestly, it was still better than being at Arlong Park. Nothing that any of them did to me could match what Arlong did." She inhales slow, exhales slower. Jinbei moves his hand beneath hers slowly, so as to not startle her, and flips it so her hand rests in his wide palm. She doesn't flinch, when he curls his hand gently around hers. "That was...my whole life. For eight years."

The number seems to wound him, and his eyes lower. Nami breathes, but does not stop. She must not believe herself fragile. She must not believe him fragile, either. "I had saved a lot over the years. Arlong figured out how close I was, and he had one of the Navy fuckers he was paying off steal my stash, so that I was back to square one. They shot my sister — she lived, thank god." She'd been so scared, mind conjuring images of Belle - mere's blood in the grass, another person dead because of Nami. "I — the villagers were so angry at Arlong, and so angry on my behalf, that they...they decided they'd rather die fighting Arlong and his men than live another day like this. I tried to convince them I could just...earn the money again, but..."

Inhale. Exhale. This part is hard. It had been so strange, to go from universally despised to so, so loved, and all in a matter of hours. To know that she was going to lose the people who loved her again. "The village loved me, even if I didn't know it. They wouldn't let Arlong get away with hurting me like that, and I think they...they thought that if they died, at least I'd finally be able to escape. I wouldn't have anybody left to save except myself." Her smile turns bitter. "Idiots. At that point, I'd have just died, too."

Her hand against her scar finally falls, and Jinbei's eyes fall to the exposed flesh. The scar is audacious and ugly, but it's mostly covered by the pinwheel. He seems to only now realize how extreme the wound is. "I was so angry at him, and so scared for my family, and so sick of — of having his mark on my body, this reminder that it wasn't really my body, just his tool, and I just — I snapped. I basically tried to carve his brand off of me." Jinbei winces, eyes shining, teeth gritting. There is no fear in her that the anger he expresses is aimed at her. "It's a miracle I can still use my arm at all, honestly. Luffy found me like that, and he didn't even know the story, he just...hated seeing me suffering like that. He and the others marched off to Arlong Park. And against all odds...they won. Luffy, he — he destroyed the room Arlong kept me in, destroyed all the maps I'd drawn in captivity. Destroyed everything connected to — what Arlong did to me. After that, after all that pain, I was...finally free."

Jinbei is silent for a long, long time. Nami doesn't rush him. She needs the quiet to swallow her tears, to let the memories wash through her and leave without drowning her. Fishmen hands feel different than human hands, but she's glad that holding Jinbei's hand doesn't chafe. It feels comforting. It feels kind.

Finally, the fishman says, "how long ago were you freed?"

Nami breathes out. "Almost three years ago."

"Three years of freedom after eight years of captivity and abuse from my brother. I don't fault you for being uncomfortable around me."

"Hey, stop that," Nami commands. "Listen. I'm not uncomfortable around you. We're holding hands now, and all that makes me feel is safe." Jinbei's eyes widen, head raising to look at her face. Her lips are set in a stern line, shoulders strong. "I'm not saying that there won't be bad days where I might jump when you greet me or something or feel anxious drawing my maps around you or the memories might make things hard. But it's not about you or about you letting Arlong go. I get that way about Sanji or Brook or the others sometimes, too." He doesn't look entirely convinced, but he squeezes her hand like he wants to be. "It's not about you. It's just the memories. We've both suffered a lot because of each other's people. But I don't blame you, and I know you don't blame me. There's no part of me, not a single one, that believes you'd ever hurt me the way Arlong did." Jinbei's eyes widen and shine and hurt. Softer, she adds, "There's no part of me that believes you'd ever hurt me at all."

The older man's voice trembles, breaking like the tears flowing from his eyes, when he says, "You are — far kinder than I deserve, and unimaginably brave." She smiles again, helpless this time, as she feels her own eyes begin to well again.

"Now you know my whole story. Thank you for letting me tell you."

"I'm a part of the crew," he says, still crying, but his voice is steadying. She thinks of the singular time she'd caught Arlong crying. He'd beat her for daring to see his fear and pain, and she knows that Jinbei is much stronger than him in many ways, that he is not afraid to allow himself to feel and cry and grieve. She is, too. "You said it yourself. This crew is like family, and there shouldn't be secrets." He breathes out a stuttering laugh, his tears slowing. "It's a bit strange to adjust to how close you are all."

"Give it a month or two," Nami shoots back, teasing a little now. "Luffy will have you so overwhelmed by how stupid we all are that you'll have no choice but to adjust."

"I hope to learn from all of you," he says, free hand wiping at his eyes. She releases his palm, and the other presses to his chest, and to the symbol that had frightened her in the early days "I hope that someday I may possess a fraction of your strength, Nami."

That draws a laugh from her, startled and shy. "The others on the crew are much strong than me."

"I don't believe that," he says, and he means it. He does. Her heart feels — light and heavy both. Floating on saltwater. She is strong, she knows. "To be strong enough not only to endure that hardship, but to have coped and moved on to the extent that you have...to be honest, I envy you. Arlong hurt you far more than he did me, and yet...the strength you display with regards to him is not something I can ever hope to match."

Her brow furrows. "He was your brother. He is your brother. That doesn't excuse him, and I'll always hate him for what he did to me. But it's a hell of lot easier to move on from a villain you hurt you than from the brother that you love."

Jinbei smiles joylessly. "Strange that the same man can be both, isn't it?"

She doesn't have a reply to that. All she can say, after a long moment of silence, is, "you're strong, too." To take responsibility for what is only barely his fault, to cry to a human even though humans have hurt him, to hold the love and the hate for Arlong together in his heart and not fall apart with it.

Jinbei smiles, not looking convinced, but doesn't argue.

"Do you want to — stay with me?" Nami asks suddenly. "While I finish this map?"

His eyes widen. "Are you sure you'd be comfortable with that?"

His concern isn't unwarranted. This conversation has memories bubbling to the surface, pressing against her head — Belle - mere, pain, years of abuse. The time Arlong drowned her and then crushed her hands. A fishman's breathing near her while she draws maps. It might be hard, but — "I'm strong," she says, because she needs to. "And I think I need..." She exhales, trying to think of how to word it. "I used to be afraid of pirates, you know? Much more than I was afraid of fishmen. When I started traveling with Luffy, I was terrified of him. But every day when none of them hurt me, the fear got...smaller. The memories of my crew being good to me drowned out the memories of the crew that hurt me. And I think...I think I need memories of maps and fishmen that are safe, too. To drown out the memories that aren't." She laughs quietly. "I guess I'm being selfish."

Jinbei smiles, almost paternal, eyes still red from his tears. "I think that makes perfect sense. I'd be happy to keep you company."

Nami grins. She's sure it might ache. But she's sure, too, that he won't hurt her. Even now, years later, what a relief — to know her crew won't ever hurt her.

"Thank you."

[the-prophecy]

hey diti, guess who?

yeah "kid" here 🙄. first of all, sorry for not letting you know before deactivating (ik i always told you before and shared the url of my new account too) but well, this time, unfortunately i no longer plan to return back.

there are a few reasons...some private and some ig you already know (refer to that memories wala post ka screenshot I had sent. yup, now you know). I really dont owe anyone an explanation but well, here goes.

whenever i used to post, i had to recheck stuff at least 20 times before posting (yeah i still kept the typos cuz ppl loved them ig) and id get anon messages of why am i posting shit (which is one of the reasons why I had anons open like for only half a day on the last blog) and whenever i didnt post, people would still have a problem.

and well, call me a bitch for the next reason but it sucks when you send someone messages and you get zero response back (yup, still had zero response before deactivating) but you see them answeing asks and reblogging posts and shitposting etc etc. It sucks when you were there for them when they needed someone and now they arent there for you when you needed them the most.

so yeah that was 2 of my many reasons for "poofing" .

to the people who would say "its not gonna be the same" well it will. think if this as the aftermath of a hurricane. sure you need time but you do get back on your feet. If desiblr could survive without me all these years, it can survive now too.

and well, ig it would help if yall forget me. (except my haters, keep doing black magic so that i die soon before i turn 20 next year) .

and diti, you are an amazing person ok? and i mean it. without you, idek how i would have survived the last few months. and good luck for your exams! GET THAT DEGREE YOU QUEEN (and hopefully you get your man too but remember, having a partner or not having a partner doesnt matter for the only person who is responsible for your success is you)

Adios!

~Cleo

I wanna literally go all feral cat on u and scratch scratch ok i literally cried WTF bro i leave for one day i feel so betrayed yet ilysm ok take care pls

I'VE TOLD U HUNDREDS OF TIME don't see how people see you they'll always be jealous of you being famous but like you have reasons and I'm no one to say anything

Who's this person DON'T U DARE TELL ME YOU'RE LEAVING ME AND TUMBLR bc of one person I'll kill u and find that person and kill them too you are making me angry now THIS IS DUMB CLEO COME BACK I'LL LITERALLY DIE WITHOUT OUR DAILY TEA SESHS😭😭😭

We literally can't ok i fucking can't ok i thought you'll return in a day this is cheating not accepted you can't leave without a proper goodbye I'LL CHAMAT YOU ZOOR SEE

You're making me cry😭😭 ilysm ok stay in touch plzzz plz plzz I'm begging

[sexlapis]

I posted 711 times in 2022

That's 152 more posts than 2021!

52 posts created (7%)

659 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shigarakitomura

@dejwrites

@princesslily

@sexlapis

@letstalkaboutfandomsbaby

I tagged 445 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#sexlapis reblogs.🪷 - 85 posts

#nanami x reader - 28 posts

#moodboards! - 24 posts

#sexlapis loves art - 24 posts

#🎨.jjk - 20 posts

#☁️.nanami - 20 posts

#toji x reader - 16 posts

#sexlapis laughs - 14 posts

#criminal minds - 13 posts

#sexlapis loves women - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#because you know full well that your opinions are the norm ans you want to feel superior to all the “progressives😡😡

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

drabble, nsfw

u and nanami havin sex but he’s being so soft and gentle with his thrusts n u so desperately want him to go faster and harder :( ur literally cryin and holding ur legs up higher, begging him to faster. “please please ken, go harder pleaseeeee” and nanami does nothing other than shush u, pressing a kiss to ur cheek, sayin “you’ll take what i give you angel” before only slightly picking up the pace, leaving u writhing in ur torment and pleasure simultaneously n cockdrunk :(

842 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#4

a tip for fanfic writers.

if you’re going to write a fic more than 1k words, please put “:readmore:” to split the fic so people can choose to read the rest or not. because sometimes i’m scrolling through a tag and a 5k word fic just pops up and i’m forced to scroll though the entire thing!

so again, add “:readmore:” (without the quotation marks) to split up your fic <3 i ain’t tryna read ur 100k fic when i’m just looking for a 600 word mikasa fluff, godbless.

987 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

#3

riding toji for the first time

❀ : toji x female reader

cw : ns4w, riding, a short fic!, actually rlly fluffy, toji referring to himself in 3rd person😵‍💫, big dick toji :)

masterlists

*

you’re on the couch, straddling toji’s thick legs as his calloused fingers run gently along the length of your wet folds. moaning softly, sweaty palms gripping on to his hard shoulders, his hot mouth closed around your perked dark nipples, biting them with the scrape of his teeth. your mouth finds home on his neck, purples marks litter toji’s tan skin.

“fuck.” toji rasps out and one of his hands grab a hold of his hard length, stroking himself slowly. “okay baby, i think you’re ready now.”

you bit your lip and nod vigorously. toji had been playing with your little pussy for ages now, leaving the in between of your thighs and his fingers wet with your sweet mess. your thighs tremble as you straddle him. taking his length in your hand, you position yourself over him, rubbing your velvet folds against him and before you know it you’re sinking down on his thick cock. too overwhelmed to make any noise, your mouth falls open as you bottom out.

it was unlike anything you’ve ever felt. this position had toji feel so deep within you and it made you mind blank. toji brings you back to reality by stroking the side of your face gently, looking at your pretty face.

“you okay sweetie?” he chuckles deeply at your already fucked out expression. you had always been so sensitive, so responsive to his touch. it had him feeling a sense of pride that he could make you such a beautiful mess. his beautiful mess.

shyly, you laugh along with him and nod at this question, face feeling hot at the intimacy of the situation.

you breathe out. “yeah toj, ‘m okay.”after reassuring him, you start to grind your hips slowly. even the slightest of movements made you feel him so deeply. you moan quietly as you continue to ride him. toji’s hold on your hips tighten as you bounce on his cock.

“oh- oh fuck.” toji gasps. “shit..making me feel s’fuckin’ good.” he looks at you, admiring your blissed expression before grabbing your chin softly to make you look at him. his silver eyes were kind as they observed you. “am i making you feel good baby?”

part of you wants to run away from his gaze as you feel vulnerable under his loving scrutiny. but you stay and look him in the eyes, grounding yourself.

your soft hands cup his face as you reply, “yes tojiii…you make me feel soso good!”

toji nods with you and cups your ass in his big hands, forcing you to bounce on his dick faster, harder. sounds of slapping of skin against skin fill the room, only getting louder with each passing second. you attempt to smother your loud moans but that idea goes to shit as soon as toji begins to thrust up into you.

“ah! oooooo- toji, toji! oh my god!” you’re almost screaming as toji ravishes your body, tits and stomach jiggling with each of this hard thrusts, chests pressed together and it’s like you’re cockdrunk. head thrown back, eyes behind your head, drool seeping from the corner of your mouth, lips glossy and your face sweaty. to toji, you were a sight to behold.

toji reaches his hand to your head, making you look at him. “eyes on me honey.” he coos.

you whine and shiver at the tone of his voice and look at him once more, foreheads touching. “mmmmm. love you toji.”

toji smiles at the confession, silently swooning and heart beating out of his chest at how sentimental you get during sex.

“i love you too sweetheart.” toji responds softly. he kisses your cheek before leaning back on the couch, smirking at you. “now how’s ‘bout you make toji cum?”

1,045 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#2

——— DESIRE

♡ : eren jaeger x female! reader

ᨳ  ࣪ . cw : ns4w, dom! eren, sub! reader, eren is a lil mean but not that much :), HEAVY edging -> edging for over a month ♡, squirting, overstimulation, subspace, sex toys, mentions of oral sex, nipple play, spanking, restraints, pussy slapping, ass play & fingering, profanity

ᨳ  ࣪ . wc : 2.9k

. synopsis : you haven’t cum in over a month…but its only what you asked for…

ᨳ  ࣪ . minors & blank blogs DNI

masterlists

See the full post

2,451 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

eren x female reader, ns4w, very short, coming inside, morning sex

masterlists

no bc eren would be so whiny in the morning…he’d be so desperate too. his morning wood would be poking against your thigh while he shakes u gently to wake u up.

“babyy” calling out to you in his deep, tired morning voice. “baby wake up..need you righ’ now..haha..”

and you’re just as desperate, letting him pull down your shorts and spread your legs to play with your wet cunt. then he’s laying you two both on your sides, raising your leg to his hip before easing his thick length into hot pussy.

it’s starts off slow..both of you are still drowsy and weak from sleep but that doesn’t deter either of you. your faces are so close together, breathing against each other’s skin, lips brushing against each other, too far gone to even kiss. eren’s pretty eyes are almost constantly rolling into the back of his head at how good he feels. how good you feel. his body is so sensitive, the feeling of your hole around his cock is making him go fucking crazy.

“awh fuuckkk.” eren’s groaning as his thrust start to speed up just a lil bit…the angle has you feeling him real deep, you’re gasping at every gentle thrust, the slap slap slap of skin reverberating around the room. you feel a warmth spread in ur lil tummy, clit brushing against the pubic hairs at the base of his dick and your mouth drops open and eyes roll back at the feeling.

then erens gripping your ass with both hands and thrusting harder, faster, until you’re gripping the back of his neck with small oh my gods and other senseless profanities. eren rolls you onto your back before folding you into a mating press and going to town on you.

balls slapping against your ass with every thrust, long hair falling and draping around you like a curtain.

“shit..” eren whines, borderline whimpers. “shit…oh fuck..fuck..fuck ‘m g’nna cum. baby ‘m gonna fucking cum…” he’s looking at you, cheeks tinted red and lips wet. “can i cum inside? you’ll lemme come inside right?” his thrusts become frantic and erratic and you’re nodding along to his question. he thrusts at an angle that has you seeing white light, squirting and making a mess of him and the sheets. eren curses, rough fingers finding your clit, running circles over it to prolong your high. your hips twitch against his, rolling and grinding and coming to a stop.

“god, i’m cumming.. i’m cumming ‘m cumming…fuck!” his voice goes high pitched towards the end of his sentence and he’s finished. he pounds into you sporadically as he cums, pumping your soft walls white. he keeps thrusting…he comes soo much. his expression is erotic, eyes rolled back and tongue lolled out.

eren huffs and moans as the last few spurts of cum leave him, all fucked out. he pulls out slowly, looking at his cum drool out of your brown folds and fall below you. pulls you close and massages your shoulders and tells you what you and him are going to do for the day and you fall asleep to the sound of his soothing voice 💭

See the full post

2,466 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[juminsmysticmc]

Can I request the RFA suddenly meet old friends who were very close to them (maybe in their childhood, highschool,..), our boys said she's a good person but they're trying to separate the relationship between MC and the RFA (the RFA didn't notice this).MC told them about this and the RFA did not believe her, then they got into a fight, mc got hurt accidentally, plz.I love the angst, but can u make a happy ending?If it’s too much u don’t have to do it. I love ur blog btw, hope u have a great day!

Trigger Warning 

RFA meeting an old friend of MC who acts nice but want to actually separate their relationship but only trusting Mc after she got hurt in an accident 

Ohh hey! This is a really good request! It also would have been an amazing FanFic! Well, I hope you enjoy this Headcanon! Please feel free to tell me your opinion! And by the way, I also love angst with a happy end! Thank you for your kind words!

PS. the headline says trigger warnings because I am unsure if this could trigger you guys so please read with caution. 

You watched the group chat as the RFA was discussing whether to accept your friend as an RFA member. Everyone loved her; the woman who once was your best friend. The person who knew you the best. But she was also the person who hurt you the most. The lies she said, the actions with bad intentions… Everything came to you as more and more flashbacks. Ever since that happened back in University, you tried your best to cut contact. However, your love for her was bigger, and instead of cutting off the toxic friendship, she managed to make you become the loneliest person on the campus, destroying your faith and innocent heart for other people. You swore to yourself that you would never ever trust other people. Not until you met the RFA and your partner. They made you feel strong, positive about relationships, and managed to show you support whenever you needed it. But right now, that bad time was coming back. As if nothing changed, history repeated and people began to love her more than you. At least it seemed like that in your head. You decided to approach the person you thought would always support you. At least, you thought so.

Jumin

,,Jumin,“ you spoke up.

Your husband looked up from his phone as a smile decorated his face.

,,You never told me that you had such good friends,“ he spoke up first.

,,Well, actually, she isn’t a good friend to me. You know, maybe you guys shouldn’t hang out with her so much… she did some kind of hurtful things to me and-” you stopped as you saw Jumin’s face.

Why was he looking at you with that face?

As if you did something wrong, as if you were the bad person, just why?

,,You were the one who taught me to trust people!“ Jumin defended the woman who hurt you so deeply.

You tried to explain to him what happened.

,,She lied to me and to my friend! Because of her, I thought that my friend deceived me and vice versa!“ you told him.

How could he not trust you?

,,Maybe that was because you didn’t try to clear the misunderstanding,“ he told you, making you feel as if someone stabbed you in your back.

You rushed outside. You didn’t care about Jumin behind you, calling your name, and asking you to stop.

A fearful cry from him caused you to make a fatal mistake, looking back at him and not noticing the racing car which was approaching you.

The hit hurt so much. Your body crushed against the car and back on the hard floor, making you lose consciousness…

,,Mc! You‘re awake?!“ someone called your name.

You couldn’t really see the one who stood in front of you, but you knew perfectly well that this voice belonged to Jumin.

Even though you were still unable to move your limbs, you could feel Jumin kissing your hand.

,,I am sorry, that I… we didn’t trust you…“ he spoke up, making you notice that the RFA was there too.

,,Your friend won’t enter the RFA. Instead, we tried our best to make her go away forever,“‘ Seven laughed and began to explain how he found messages on her phone to get rid of you.

Zen

But you were kind of wrong.

Zen wasn‘t on your side at all. Instead,  he was on her‘s.

Once again, he was on the phone with her, laughing at something she told him.

At that point, you cursed the day you met her with Zen at the entertainment company.

With a fake smile, she hugged you and whined that you didn’t contact her anymore.

However, you knew that she hurt you a lot.

And Zen apparently came to like her a lot.

So much so that she was already visiting the whole RFA as if you were the newcomer.

,,You don’t understand how much she destroyed!“ you whined.

,,TRUE! I DON‘T! You're just jealous, Mc!“ he told you.

Lies, you thought.

Lies.

Like always. Lies.

You took your back and rushed out, not looking back at Zen or evening caring about telling him something.  

And then, without anyone noticing, you got into an accident.

While the paramedics were trying to save you, Zen was busy tidying up the room since your friend would come over.

Of course, the guilty was eating him from the inside, but right now he couldn’t change it.

And before Zen could keep on tidying up, the long-haired found something he shouldn’t read.

You diary.

The diary which page for page was about her, the one who caused your first panic attack, who made you think for two years that she was seriously sick, the one who played you against your friends.

And at that point he knew he screwed up.

Afterward, everything went over quickly.

Zen got called by the police, who told him that as you walked, you got hit by a stone that fell from a balcony and you were currently hospitalized.

At the same time, the girl who he thought was your friend passed by.

Zen couldn’t do differently and bashed her, telling her to literally fuck off before he would hit a girl for the first time.

,,I'm sorry,“ he sobbed late at night, your eyes still closed.

,,If you won’t wake up, I will fall asleep with you… so you’re free to choose yourself, whatever it will be. This time I will stay loyal to you,“

,,Dummy… of course I would choose life,“ you mumbled.

Yoosung

,,You’re my husband… why can’t you be loyal to me…?“ you begged him.

He just watched you as you shed tears in front of him, unable to give you an answer.

,,I just want you to trust me. Why do other people always come first? Am I not enough?

If the world was ending, wouldn’t I be enough? Do you need other people so bad?“ you sobbed.

,,Mc, I don’t understand your problem. We met your friend after such a long time and now you want us all to break contact? She’s so nice!“ Yoosung tried to explain, trying to touch you.

However, you flinched and stepped away.

,,Don’t touch me. If you don’t trust me, don’t touch me. I won’t forgive you for not trusting me… You’re unfair… Everyone is unfair… Why can’t you guys care about me? Why can’t you care about me the same way I care about you? Why is it always me who has to endure pain alone? Why?!“ you asked him and before he could stop you, you already ran off with the car key.

,,Mc is already missing for about three hours and isn’t answering her phone!“ Yoosung whined into the phone.

,,Don’t worry. And besides, it’s okay if she doesn’t come back.

Mc’s always been like this, as soon as something gets difficult she would go hiding. Don’t worry about her,“ your old friend said.

Yoosung gasped at the words your friend told him.

This wasn’t the way a friend should behave.

Without saying anything, Yoosung cut the call and instead called Seven, who immediately searched you.

,,Oh, oh… Oh my god,“ he gasped.

,,What?? Why? Seven??“ Yoosung cried.

,,Calm down, little man! I am going to pick you up, okay? Don’t freak out…“ Seven said and already cut the call to pick him up.

When the two of them arrived at the hospital, the other RFA members were already waiting in the parking lot.

Finally Seven spilled the tea, saying that he saw in the CCTV and that you were in an accident.

,,Two days already passed, Mc...the bad girl wasn’t accepted into the RFA so when you wake up, don’t worry. No one will replace you… and whatever she did back then, she won’t succeed another time… because we will stay by your side,“ Yoosung whispered before he fell asleep next to you.

,,Thank you…“

Jaehee

Tears kept flowing.

The thick drops were even louder than your breathing as you replayed what just happened.

You approached Jaehee to beg her to stay away from your toxic friend.

And then the argument.

You and her, who normally would work together, fought this time.

You even forgot what triggered you.

You just remembered how you got outside; alone in the dark.

The street lamp was the only thing illuminating the next five steps in front of you.

Suddenly, you shrieked as a dark figure approached you.

Fear was written all over your face and you were sure that the person in front of you could see that.

,,Who… are you?“ you whispered, trying your best to sound brave, but failing.

Instead, a sob left your mouth, making the stranger smirk.

The street echoed as you screamed as loudly as you could while the stranger stabbed you.

All he wanted was money.

You would have given it to him if he had just asked.

,,MC!“ you heard Jaehee and saw then her face.

And then darkness surrounded you.

,,She was always so stupid. That‘s why no one liked her back then in school.

It’s just better if you turn off the machines,“ you heard the one you once called your friend say.

You tried your best to open your eyes or say something, anything so that they wouldn’t kill you.

Anything, but nothing worked.

,,Please go. I don’t think that the RFA needs another member,“ you heard Jaehee say.

,,Don’t worry,“ she whispered and stroked your head.

,,I just realized everything and I will protect you,“ she kissed you, making you fall asleep in comfort.

Saeyoung

,,I thought since you’re a hacker you could see all her wrongdoings! But apparently, you’re blind!“ you hissed at him as you tried to beg him not to let her into the RFA.

However, you were already too late and realized that this ,,friend“ of yours already had all the data about the RFA.

Jumin said that maybe if you would give half the load of work to her so you wouldn’t work that much.

It would make it lighter for you.

In other words, you weren’t doing good enough.

They didn’t trust you with the work you were doing.

It hurt you.

It was a deep stab.

But you could keep going if your fiancé supported you.

Instead, he even did what the other person wanted.

No one trusted you.

You couldn’t trust anyone anymore either.

,,Someone leaked information about the RFA!“ the chat was in a fuss.

You knew who it was since you stopped working ever since she came into the RFA.

,,Mc was it! I can log in and see her email! Here‘s a screenshot.

Mc, how could you?

Why did you make the same mistake as back then in school?“ she typed in the chat.

You had to read the line four times until you realized that she was blaming you.

,,I’m disappointed,“ Saeyoung wrote.

That’s when you went you logged out and closed the app.

So she finally attacked you again, huh?

You were already waiting for it.

,,Mc!“ Saeran asked you and barged into the room.

,,You don’t trust me either, huh?“ you asked him, getting up and packing your stuff.

,,No, wait!“ your fiancé‘s brother tried to call you, to grab you.

However, it ended with you slapping his hand away, losing balance, and crashing down the stairs.

,,Did you push her?“ Saeyoung asked his brother.

,,ME?! WHY? I like her! And perhaps I do more than you! It’s your fault! If you would have trusted her, she wouldn’t have felt like that! If you would have supported her better… her friend faked the email. She was the one who leaked out the information,“ Saeran hissed, got up and left the hospital room, leaving an unconscious you behind him.

The next week, Saeyoung worked on finding out whether his brother was right or not and quickly kicked out the woman everyone thought was your friend.

,,From now on, I will trust you and listen to you. So open your eyes that you can scold me, okay?“ Saeyoung whispered and smiled as he saw your finger twitching.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

16.06.2020// 22:37 MEST

[kinghotboy]

melia teach me how to gif you’re the only exclusively atl blog i know that makes their own gifs 😔 which is amazing considering a lot of their videos online are kinda low quality

hello i need u to know that this msg made me smile biiiig time but also ended me becos it made me realise that my Giffing Process is a fucking mess and extremely inconsistent. so tHANKYOU for this. a real wake up call. but u are so right! all time low give us SCRAPS to work with and we just? let them?? like we literally just let them and they fucking get away with that. insane.

here is tutorial attempt #3 and i rly hope it makes sense and helps in any way possible <3

let us go from this to THAT.

okay i am assuming you know the standard gif making process and know how to import and crop and set time delay etc so im gonna jump straight to the colouring!

firstly, lets start with some brightness/contrast! with low quality videos, half the goal is usually trying to hide the fact that the content your giffing looks like it was filmed on a flip phone in 2001 :/ but the good thing about concert videos is that they usually have mainly black backgrounds!! which is so so so handy. thank you concert videos. so basically, let’s very gently try to like. lean into the dark parts. gently.

brightness: +2 contrast: +10

next! we can head over to curves! curves on low quality gifs are my best fucking friend. curves on HQ gifs on the other hand? not so much. imo, curves has a tendency to pixelate/add noise, the heavier you use it, but if you gif is already LQ? it kinda seems to enhance it? literally begging my brain to make that make sense i’m so sorry but basically, curves on LQ gifs = good!

RBG

input: 20 output: 0

okay so now that we’ve brightened up alex and his Stage a bit, we can focus more on colours! so let’s go to colour balance. colour balance is a very very very good friend and we love her a lot. they’re also nice enough to try help you balance out the colours in sections of shadows, midtones, and highlights which is literally SO nice of them. i’ve read some tutorials these past few months where people say that you might use midtones and barely touch the other options and thats crazy, colour balance does so much for us! shadows helps us hide the Pixelated Look, so we have fun playing around with those dials, midtones kinda helps the overall look of the gif? maybe? and highlights is where we can make some colours Pop. literally let’s just slide dials until we’re happy with what we’ve created.

SHADOWS:

cyan/red: +2 magenta/green: -3 yellow/blue: +3

MIDTONES:

cyan/red: +2 magenta/green: +2 yellow/blue: +3

HIGHLIGHTS:

cyan/red: -2 magenta/green: -5 yellow/blue: +2

oh, now we’re up to selective colour! colour balances sister! we love her too omg. this is where we can rly like, lean into the colours we want and maybe try cut out the colours we don’t. this ones FUN.

personally, i always start of with black becos we can really get the background looking Dark here. then we can focus on vibing with the colours.

BLACK:

cyan: 0 magenta: 0 yellow: 0 black: +12

RED:

cyan: -8 magenta: +16 yellow: -2 black: +15

YELLOW: /

GREEN: /

CYAN:

cyan: +15 magenta: -5 yellow: -5 black: +6

BLUE:

cyan: +5 magenta: +5 yellow: +3 black: +12

MAGENTA:

cyan: -5 magenta: +3 yellow: -2 black: +6

NEUTRAL: /

WHITE: /

now! exposure! good time to see if your gif still needs a bit of brightening or still needs to look? deeper? the colours a bit richer? idk how to describe it but like you’ll know it when you see it. anyway this is That Place. please note i’ve never used the offset slide in my life but exposure and gamma correction are extremely handy.

exposure: +0.08 offset: / gamma correction: 0.97

that is ALL i have done to colour this gif. i 100% definitely use more curves, especially the red/green/blue options a lot, it’s incredible with helping colour correct! also levels and hue/saturation!! if i’m still struggling with the colour! but i feel like i don’t always use them, whereas everything listed above are steps i use with absolutely every gif!! so. was gonna link you a colour tutorial thing that helped me greatly and literally made me say holy shit that makes so much sense out loud but op deactived :( im so sorry, you’re stuck with my mess instead.

okay last thing that helps make lq gifs not completely abysmal to look at, is filtering! we all know the usual suspects aka sharpening and adding the gaussian blur, but with already grainy gifs? that sometimes enhances the grainy-ness? and it then just looks. not incredible. not fun. but! if we lean IN to the grainy-ness and the pixelated look and add a noise filter? what a treat!!!

so go through the usual steps of converting to timeline and converting to smart filters, duplicating your layer etc 

add some smart sharpen!

amount: 500 radius: 0.3 remove: gaussian blur

add some gaussian blur!

radius: 1.0

now, add noise! (filter → noise → add noise)

amount: 5 (depending on the quality of the gif and the overall look you want! i usually range between 3 - 6) distribution: uniform

now! we change the opacity for the blur and the noise layers! click the little slide looking icon on the right of the respective layers and for the blur layer i have it set at 20% opacity but you can usually have it anywhere ranging from 15% - 30%. and for the noise layer i have it at 40% but that can be anywhere usually ranging from 20% - 80%!!!

so basically, we started Here

and now we get this!

[worldwidemochiguy]

Can you write BTS yandere reactions if you try to hurt them or even kill them to escape? Love your blog x 💜

ahaha thanks and here you go!! bc there’s seven of them and i wanted to do unique ones for each i kind of don’t stick exactly to the prompt, but i try to include at least one element of it in each thing, anyways i hope you like it 💞💞

Namjoon

“Really, Y/n?” Namjoon doesn’t even look up from the file he’s leafing through at his desk, despite the gun you’re pointing at his head. His tone is — as always — nonchalant, as if he’s almost disappointed in you for daring to challenge him. You feel regret curling its fingers into the back of your head, but you try to stay strong despite your trembling hands.

“Let me go.” You say, with a much weaker tone than you intended. He looks up this time, an eyebrow flicks upwards condescendingly.

“I have no intention of letting you go, Y/n. Does that mean you’re going to shoot me?” You whimper quietly, your finger loosening on the trigger guard. “I really thought you were more intelligent than that, but I guess you will have to be taught another lesson.”

Another lesson. Your mind flashes back to days spent alone, locked in a room so dark you couldn’t tell if it was night or day. Nothing around you, completely untethered and suffocated at the same time. No. Your muscles tense up and, without meaning to, you pull the trigger.

“No!” You scream, even as your finger tightens on the gun.

But the trigger has already been pulled. You squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting to see the bullet exit the chamber, not wanting to the man who’s tormented you splattered against the wall.

You hear a quiet chuckle, and the gun is gently tugged out of your loose grip.

“Silly baby, did you really think I was going to leave a loaded gun where you could find it? No, this was a test, and you’ve failed, Y/n. It doesn’t matter, though, I’ll just have to give you another lesson.”

Jin

“Jagiya,” Jin’s hurt voice caused you to whip around immediately, without realising the half-full vial was still in your tight grip. “W-What are you pouring in the pot?”

When you had volunteered to make dinner that night for the both of you, Jin had been ecstatic, content that you had finally settled into your place as his loving, doting wife. Little did he know that you had hatched a plan to poison him and run away. You had never been a particularly violent person, but you were desperate to escape. You had realised by now that Jin was never going to willingly let you go.

“U-Uh,” You stuttered, glancing down at the vial in your hand, “…it’s seasoning.” His expression instantly showed his disbelief and he stalked over to you, yanking the poison out of your grip and crowding you against the kitchen counter with his intimidating broad frame.

“Jagiya, when I trust you with these things I expect you to be worthy of that trust, not betray me like some common slut!”

The sting of the slap is the first thing that registers before the side of your face goes numb. He hits you again, making your head jerk to the other side. Hot tears track down your inflamed cheeks, exacerbating the stinging. Jin grips your chin roughly, forcing you to look up and into his manic, crazed eyes.

“Listen to me very carefully, Jagiya. If you betray me like this again, you will be the one who ends up dying. But it will not be by a quick and painless poison, no, it will be long and agonising. Is that what you want, huh?”

Yoongi

You slam him against the wall, hard enough to make the pictures rattle.

“Talk to me!” You scream, and your voice breaks on the last syllable, no longer able to choke down the sobs. But Yoongi just stares at you, silent as he had been ever since he discovered your plan to escape.

You had booked the plane tickets, you were so close to freedom you could practically taste it. But, on the morning of your getaway, you woke up in a completely different location. Yoongi had moved the two of you to a secluded safehouse while you slept. When you ran out of the door, he hadn’t stopped you, and soon you realised why.

The warehouse was literally in the middle of nowhere. You ran around for miles, screaming for help until your throat was hoarse. There was no one there to hear you. Eventually, night fell and you stumbled back to the only shelter for miles around, to Yoongi. For a while you were terrified you couldn’t find it, and it was hours before you were back and safe, for a loose definition of the word.

Yoongi has given you what you wanted. You wanted to get out of that house Yoongi had imprisoned you in, and now you were far away from it. You desired freedom, and now you could roam for miles, untethered. You wished to never speak to Yoongi again, and since the morning of your relocation he had not breathed a word to you, despite how much you begged him to.

He was, as far as you knew, the only living soul in the vicinity, and having him not even acknowledge you, especially after having his devoted attention for so long, was tearing you apart. And you had started to resort to any means possible to get him to talk.

“Yoongi!” You yell, wrapping your hands around his throat and squeezing as tightly as you can. He doesn’t react beyond his face redening, and you can feel his pulse weaken beneath your fingertips. You could just kill him, right here, right now. There’s no one around to see it. And after all he’s done to you…

You let him go and he slumps against the wall, panting slightly. You raise a hand to brush away your tears, damp on your cheeks, but it’s useless. They’ll be replaced by fresh tracks soon enough.

“Please,” you beg, staring at his blank face, “Please just talk to me.”

His eyes meet yours for the first time in this new hellhole, and you realise what he wants.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. Just- please,” You bury your sobs in your hands, body shaking with the force of it. A pair of warm arms encircle you, helping your body to still and relax.

“It’s okay, baby, I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you, and you don’t have to worry anymore about your freedom, because I’ve taken us to a place where other people won’t even be able to touch us anymore. Do you feel better now, angel?”

Hoseok

“Y/n!” Hoseok bellows, and you feel that familiar helpless panic surge within you.

A man had approached you at your table when the two of you were at a restaurant while Hoseok was in the bathroom. You had immediately turned him down, telling him you were taken, and the man left disappointed. However, Hoseok saw the exchange and was convinced you were somehow cheating on him with that man. And now he was mad.

“Get back here!” He screams as you dart into the sitting room. You know running will only make it worse for yourself, but you can’t stop from trying to escape from him when he gets like this.

“Y/n! Stop this right now!” His enraged voice rattles through the walls and a second later, he bursts through the door. He sees you on the far side of the room, quivering in terror, and runs at you with his fist raised.

By pure instinct, you dodge his punch. Gaining awareness just in time to watch, horrified, as his knuckles crunch into the plaster. You think you can hear them break, and a second later, Hoseok has his hand clutched to his chest with a wail of agony.

“Oh no~” You whimper, immediately drawing close to him and reaching out to cradle his injured hand in your own. He hisses in pain and you look up to gauge his expression. It is full of discomfort, washing away all of his previous fury.

When you first started dating, it had been difficult to adjust to his constant mood swings, from loving boyfriend to violently jealous to depressed and insecure. Now, you were used to it enough to realise that you had to cherish moments like these when his anger had dissipated.

You lead him upstairs to the bathroom, whispering apologies whenever he made a noise of discomfort or pain. Soon, you have him sat on the edge of the bath as you dab a cotton bud of antiseptic onto his wounds. Three of the knuckles are broken, and all of them badly bruised. Your guilt is a heavy weight on your shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly as he hisses when you apply the badages.

“For what?” He snorts, despite the pain in his voice, “For talking to that guy, for causing me to get injured, or for wrapping my wounds too tightly?”

“I-I promise you, Hobi, I didn’t want to talk to him. He approached me but I immediately said I was taken, just like you told me to say. But I am sorry for the other things, Hobi. I’m really sorry.”

He sighs, then runs his uninjured hand through your hair, petting your head softly.

“I only do these things because I love you, Y/n. You’re the one that does this to me, and you make me suffer all the time. Are you going to be good now? And stop making me do all these crazy things for you, huh?”

Jimin

“Aww, baby, you’re so sweet!”

You pause, incredibly confused. When you told your possessive, ridiculously clingy boyfriend that you were leaving him, and had booked plane tickets to leave the country in order to avoid him, you hadn’t expected him to delightedly clap his hands together and coo.

“Jimin… d-did you hear what I just said?”

“Yes, of course I did, Princess! Oh, you’re so cute. I can’t believe you got us plane tickets to France to visit Disneyland Paris!”

“Uh, what?” Your brow furrows, “Jimin, that’s not- I got plane tickets for myself so that I could leave the country. Because of you. And these tickets aren’t even to Fran-“”

“Baby,” Jimin interupts, and you can see the danger on the edge of his loving expression. “I know you’re joking, but don’t upset me now. And getting fake tickets just to prank me is going a bit far.” He reaches out and deftly snatches your plane ticket out of your hand, before you can even react.

“I mean, who knows? You might even confuse these with the real tickets for our trip, so I’ll just-” He rips up the ticket. “-get rid of them for you.” He giggles. “You’re welcome, babe.”

You watch in shock as your freedom flutters in fragmented pieces to the floor. Months of waiting, saving up, planning, all wasted.

“Well?” Jimin prods, and you look back up at him. “Aren’t you gonna say thank you?”

You just stand there stock still for a moment, before all of that longing, and pain, and anger washes over you and, without even processing it, you’re slapping Jimin as hard as you physically can.

He gasps, and then runs out of the room before you can react. You pause for a second before running after him. You find him in the kitchen, stooped over the sink. When he hears your footsteps, he turns around and you see his lip is cut, blood streaming over his chin and down his neck.

You gasp, and running over to him and taking his face in your hands, all thoughts of escaping replaced with bitter guilt. You are so distracted with him that you don’t notice the discarded knife resting behind Jimin’s hand, fresh drops of blood gleaming on the side of the blade.

“Ah, you hurt me really bad, Princess. I can’t believe my perfect angel would do something like this to me. You’re sorry, right? Tell me you’re sorry. Tell me you love me, and I’ll feel better. Just tell me you love me and I won’t punish you, please?”

Taehyung

It has always been extremes with Taehyung. Either he was the most artistic, dorkiest, sweetest boyfriend in the world, or he could be violent, possessive to a ridiculous degree, and controlling over every aspect of your life.

You found yourself growing more frustrated each time he asks you about who your friends are, what they’re saying to you, when you’re talking to them. He doesn’t trust you, and whenever you confront him about it, he tells you that it’s because he loves you too much to lose you.

But that doesn’t make sense. You can’t have love without trust.

“Who is he?” Taehyung screams, and it’s midnight and you’ve had this conversation more times than you can count and you’re just so tired.

Your mom’s been calling, she hasn’t heard from you in a while thanks to Taehyung cutting you off from everyone you knew, including your family.

“It was my mom, asshole! I showed you the contact on my phone! It was my mom!” You spit back at him and he chuckles in fake amusement and you know you’re hurtling headfirst into dangerous territory but you just can’t stop yourself.

“Yeah? Well I don’t fucking believe you! Why won’t you let me call the number back, hmm? What are you trying to hide?”

“I just don’t want you calling my mom because you’re a creep and I don’t want you talking to her!”

He shoves you against the wall and your head swings back painfully. Before you can even register the pain, Taehyung’s lips are on yours, licking into your mouth harshly and biting so hard you taste blood.

It’s more of a fight for dominance than a kiss, and you’re determined not to lose this time.

You twist around and shove him against the wall, hard enough that his head makes a twin indent to yours, and you hope it gains him the same dizzying quality that’s leaking into your vision, so that you’re on more of an even playing field.

He smiles down at you lazily and you feel disgusted with yourself. What’s wrong with you? Deliberately exacerbating fights with your boyfriend just to chase the high of being fought over, the bittersweet pleasure of darkening bruises and words so painful they scream their way out. He smiles at you because you’re just like him, you enjoy the pain, and feel helplessly drawn to it. Maybe that’s why you just can’t leave him.

“Fuck, baby girl can give as good as she gets, is that it? You like a little bit of pain, huh? Well don’t worry baby, I’ll give it to you. Trust me.”

Jungkook

A snort is not the reaction you were hoping for, but it’s what you happens when you take a deep breath and point a dagger at Jungkook. The jewelled handle feels cold and heavy in your palm. It’s the dagger Jungkook keeps beneath his pillow each night in case of intruders, and judging my his little amused glance at it, he recognises his own weapon.

“So, what’s the plan, baby?” Jungkook asks you, remarkably calm for someone with a knife pointed at his chest. “You’re gonna stab me?” Absurdly, you nod when he asks you this. He laughs, then nods himself.

“Ok then, you’re just gonna commit a little murder then. Are you sure you’re capable of that?”

“…uh huh.” You reply dumbly. His eyes twinkle with mirth, and he continues his line of questioning.

“Alright then, you’ll murder me. I guess you’re not gonna clean up the body, considering you’re working alone?” He pauses for a response, and when he receives none he smiles to himself and keeps going.

“After that, where are you gonna go? What are you gonna do? After all, it’s not like you know anyone in this area.”

“That’s not true!” You pipe up, “My uncle Minyoung! He’s helping me leave.”

“Oh, your Uncle Minyoung.” Jungkook gasps in realisation and you nod again. “You mean this Uncle Minyoung?” Jungkook takes a Polaroid out of his pocket and hands it to you. You attempt to take it with your right hand, remember you’re holding a dagger, and take the photo with the other hand instead.

The photo shows a broken corpse, its head detached and pointed towards the camera. Jungkook is posing next to it, winking at you. Right next to him is your Uncle Minyoung’s severed head.

“Oh.” You say, and drop the photo. It flutters gently to the floor.

“Oh,” Jungkook echoes, “Well, what’re you going to do now? Your uncle had all the travel information, right?”

“Right.” You repeat distantly.

“So… how are you going to escape?”

“…I guess I can’t.” You realise, and the corners of his mouth curl into a smug smile.

During your conversation, Jungkook has moved closer and now stands directly in front of you, so close that the dagger is pressed against his chest. You watch as the pointed tip distorts the expensive fibres of his shirt. You wonder how much give they have before it tears.

Jungkook takes the dagger from you delicately, and then sweeps you up in his arms.

“Little baby, trying to escape from me? When will you realise that you will never be able to? You’re just so dumb! You’re lucky I’m here to look after you, or you really wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You’re so lucky to have me around.”

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i love you guys 🥺

Acts of Devotion is now one of my faves. There's something about "setting the world on fire but never letting a flame touch her" kinda trope that makes my heart go doki doki. You did great Rhi! I'm telling you, you really did 😊 Also that tattooist Kuroo will now live rent free in my mind. Asdfghjkl. I'm crying. They're both BEAUTIFUL 💕 - 🍮

sgdgdhjfjfkflf thank you!!!! 🥺🥺🥺

question!! so i just read Bully and all of your drabbles (which were all wonderful shsihw) and i was wondering is iwa a yandere in the story too? if oikawa is a manipulative and obsessive yan, what kind of yan do you think iwa is?

i don’t wanna give too much away because i am intending to write more for bully soonish, but iwa’s kinda complicated in bully, he is protective and you better believe he’s possessive too, but you’ll just have to wait an see 😉

i am begging u to make that tattoo artist kuroo thirst a whole ass fic 😩

a bitch might be tempted 👀

I am cleaning out my likes and omg honey... You are like at least 90% of my recent likes and there is a clear demarcation line from when I started following u... It's responding to thirsts, ur drabbles, ur full fics (smut and implied), just being nice to ppl... I love ur whole blog so much?? It blows my mind omg 🙈 pls I love when ur active on here 💕 I hope your wknd has been wonderful and you got some beautiful sunlight over the past few days, you deserve a world bathed in gold, BD 💕🥰🥰

BBY!!! you’re so sweet ily!!! my weekend went far too quick, but i got some writing done which is always good - hopefully y’all will have two fics this week (do i say that every week? but it might be true this time) - i hope yours was good too! 💕 

oh to be rhi’s office coworker so we could discuss her fics all day 😔🤚

tbh i am very much a disappointment in person, much better online lmao 

There are moments when I read haikyuu yandere fics and I think I can write too, but then I watch episodes or videos on yt with them and I can't see anything but dorky kids having fun together.

How do you do it? 😭

i had a very long response typed up for this initially and i was worried that it came across as pretentious and preachy, so to answer in short - i always look at my yandere fics, even the in canon volleyball universe ones as au’s of sorts. i tend to take their canon characteristics - oikawa’s obsessive drive, the twins competitiveness and cocky attitude, kageyama’s perfectionism - and just twist it a little, make it worse and there you have your yandere character.

but there’s no right or wrong way to do it, and yandere doesn’t always have to mean knives out ‘i’ll kill you if you try to leave’ kinda thing. it could just as easily be an overprotective boyfriend who gets wildly jealous and wants to know where you are every second of the day, a friend who clings just a little too close, who likes it when it’s just the two of you, your stalker being the neighbour you spend two minutes talking to when you’re in the elevator. idk if any of this helps but 🤷‍♀️ if you wanna write it, i say go for it!

I really wanna buy one of those haikyuu hoodies but I literally don't know whose jersey/number to pick because I'm whore for all the captains (as everyone should be). And then, thanks to your writing Tendou, Semi (the musician backstage fic hit different), and Mattsun live rent free in my brain. So they're added to the mix too. Inadvertently, you're saving me money because I can't settle on one person - @ks350

you are very welcome bby. glad i can help haha 💕

Fushiguro is pretty tho 💕  

aint he though? low key in love with all of them tbh

Have you watched BSD?

i have not, sorry! 

Think you're gonna write a Gojo fic? - @ghostfromtheshoebox (it won’t let me tag you bby, sorry!!)

i’m considering it 👀

[theprettysetterclub]

heyyy can I request a matchup?? :)) im 5'1 with shoulder length black hair and really into vintage fashion paired with basics!!! im a panromantic demisexual, aquarius & intp, who is more of an ambivert tbh, how extroverted/introverted I am depends on my mood/company! usually am pretty happy-go-lucky, excitable and I make friends easily!! im chill most of the times and i prefer to avoid confrontation but i can and will call ppl out on their bs (if needed) - hq!! ask anon (from imagines blog)

  also i LOVE cold/dad jokes and bad pickup lines hahah i laugh easily but bonus points if the person is super awkward or deadpan about it! my interests include fashion, movies, reading, and comics - i usually spend time searching for cute vintage clothes, discussing movies/books/anime or just spending time doing activities (usually cooking/baking!) with my friends and family!! - hq!! ask anon

im really affectionate so its important for me to spend time with my loved ones to receive and in turn, give affection to them - usually in the from physical touch or quality time spent together!! im so glad that your matchups are open cos i love your haikyuu imagines and the amount of thought yall put into the matchups is just mindblowing tbh!!! hehe thank you in advance and im looking forward to the results 🥰🧡 - hq!! ask anon PS. so sorry it turned out so long idek how it happened OTL

HQ ASK ANON!! you’re a little ball of sunshine alkjfd how are you so cute,,, no choice i have adopted you now dskljfd also xNTP club represent! 

also i wrote this in an inspired flurry while procrastinating my history essay due next week so i hope it’s legible kdfjl

i had a hard time narrowing it down but!! i match you with… 

bokuto koutarou!

✧ that is him trying to impress you honestly i love this dumbass so much and every time he’s on screen you just know you’re in for a good time,,, and i think he’d absolutely adore you! also he loves how much shorter than him you are, he enjoys hugging you from behind because of it sdlkj

✧ i think you match his energy quite well, while still balancing him out! he needs someone who can keep up with him, while also bringing him back down to earth. he definitely brings out your extroverted side, but the fact you can be a bit more lowkey sometimes is a good thing for him; he needs to take a break from being at 100% all the damn time sdlkj 

✧ cutest! happiest! brightest couple! honestly, you two would be so adorable,,, just sunshine incarnate. you can’t help but feel happy in each other’s company, and it’s kind of infectious? you guys can be quite loud, but people enjoy being around you two because you bring love and light wherever you go,,, bless 

✧ but you can call him out on his bs when you need to, because oh boy, does he need it sometimes,,, you and akaashi (who adores you, btw) tag team it. you’re sort of like a ‘bokuto’s personal development team’ because you spend a lot of time trying to help him with his slumps. needless to say the results are very hit-or-miss 

✧ good thing you laugh easily because he’s just,,, so funny without even trying. and when he makes you laugh, his heart feels so full and ready to burst and he’s so proud of himself for achieving something so important and-- he’s just very wholesome like that kjlkj 

✧ listen. make the boy some lunch for practice and he’ll cry. absolutely shows off the bento box you made with him last night to all the black jackals. h e l p t h e m -- he won’t shut up about you ever and they’re s u f f e r i n g. they absolutely know far too much about you to the point that it’s kind of embarrassing. but, they beg you to come to their games because bokuto works just that little bit harder when you’re in the stands because he just wants to impress you so bad--  

✧ i think he’s also super physically affectionate, so your love languages line up! he’s honestly kind of clingy, so good luck with walking around at all when you’re alone because you’ll have all 6′3″ of him wrapped around your waist at all times,, also, he genuinely tries to spend as much of his free time with you as possible! once he finds out how much that means to you, he literally writes it down in his phone so he’ll never forget it sdlkdjf he does that with everything important you mention to him! he’s that determined to be a Good Boyfriend, bless his heart,,, 

✧ his favourite thing to do is spend time with you, tbh,,, whether it’s being stupid while watching a movie and discussing it (he’s trying, even if things fly over his head sometimes), being your hype guy whenever you’re trying out a new outfit combination, trying his best to cook with you (you know that bento box i mentioned? the plan was for you two to make it together, but he managed to fuck up the sauce by making it way to sweet. so, the duty was handed over to you while he sulked with his head buried in your shoulder)

✧ you two are,,, so cute,,, my heart can’t handle it,,, you two would just be so loving and giving and you’d have the most wonderful time together? i love this couple so much give him a gentle kiss on the forehead for me 

other matches!

✧ sugawara koushi: goblin angel boy,,, i love him,,, he’s a little smarter than bokuto, so i think you’d have a lot of fun discussing media together! he’s very perceptive and analytical, so he always has something interesting to say? otherwise, i think he’d also love your bright personality? he’s not called mr. refreshing for nothing, and i think you’d get along so well. he’s more lowkey than bokuto, so you’d have a lot more quiet time together; he’s good at managing his time so he’s always finding space in his day to cuddle with you (he’s also very affectionate!). i think he’d also make you laugh a lot; he’s not quite awkward or deadpan, but he can be a little dry? expect him to make a lot of witty little comments just to hear you laugh,,, UGH you’d just be so cute please shower him with love,,, also he loves that you’re so much shorter than him lmao idk why there’s so many question marks in this paragraph BUT–

✧ yachi hitoka: MY GIRL,,, first of all, you’re so tiny? like? that’s so cute oh my goodness? ANYWAY, i think she’d really enjoy being around someone like you? you’re easy to be friends with, as well as excitable and fun to be around. but, it’s not quite like with hinata (where being in his presence feels like staring directly into the sun, bless him). she really enjoys your happy-go-lucky personality, and it’s a balance to her anxious rambling. i think she’d also appreciate the fact that you’re able to call her out every now and then, because it might help break her out of an anxious spiral or two. she’s so easy to make blush tbh – all you gotta do is hold her hand and she’s bright red. also baking together,,, cuddling up on the couch together while you watch a movie (yes, her face is still red),,, my heart cannot physically handle the amount of sheer wholesomeness this couple exudes and i’ve got to stop rambling before i lose all sense of coherency slkj

[imagination-of-a-melted-bitch]

IOAMB’S REQUESTS

These are the links to the smut games 80% of these requests reference to:

 Smut Game 1 || Smut Game 2 || Smut Game 3 || Smut Game 4|| Smut Game 5

if a smut game isn’t listed in the request just pick one, if it’s a smut game with a high number chances are it’s from smut game 4 or smut game 5!

Rules or regulations:

1. If you post the scenario on your personal Tumblr make sure to put IOAMB in the first five tags!

2. Feel free to submit the scenario to me and I’ll post it if you want to stay anonymous 

3. If you post the story elsewhere on a different platform please give credit to this Tumblr, and send me a link, I still would love to read them!

A.C.E REQUESTS:

I see your request are open... I don’t know if you write for A.C.E but if you do can I get like a making out with Chan, please??? It could just be making out or lead to more, that could be up to you

if you are still up to it,, can i request an a.c.e junhee smut based on 'toothbrush' by dnce ? if not that's ok,, but either way thank you for staying active and i love what you do !! 💝

I want request a.c.e nerd!jun smut where you are college students and he is ur tutor and u tease him all the time pls 💛💙💚🧡❤

can i request a chan (a.c.w) thigh riding?

hi ! thank you for keeping this acc alive with quality content ,, i was wondering if you would still be willing to write sumn for a.c.e ? nothing wild,, just a soft smut for junhee based on either waste it on me (bts) or beautiful (bazzi). it doesn't matter whether it's a drabble, scenario, or bullet pointed,, but if not that's totally fine and thank you again !

Can I request a single mom au and you have been dating Junee from A.C.E for 4 months and you decide to tell him and you aon calls him oppa and everything is happy. Also can there be a little bit of angst because he is a little upset you didn't tell him. Thanks😘😘😘

A.C.E donghun literaly anything about making love at like 2 a.m.

ANIME REQUESTS:

Hi I see that you do anime request too I’m so happy because I love your writing!💕 If I can request one punch man saitima x reader(female) if the story be kind like they were married and she just found out she was pregnant 🥰 and anything else can be up too you 😊 thank you

can i request a grey vampire smut

May I request a scenario where Gilthunder meets up with the reader after not seeing them for a long time?

ATEEZ REQUESTS

I love your writings so much ahhh but I’ve never sent in a request! Could I request something with Hongjoong from Ateez pls? Super steamy, go wherever your mind takes you💋

i know you don't know ateez the much but can i request a seonghwa vampire fluff smut

Ohhh nice can i request a heated makeout session with Hongjoong?

BIGBANG REQUESTS

Heyooooo. Can I request a pure smut with T.O.P. and GD of BigBang with numbers 20,22,29,40,53,56 and 57? 😅 If it's too much, just ignore it. (srry for bad english). Thank you in advance 💕

Omg could I request from smut game no.5 BigBang’s T.O.P and numbers 33 and 88, combined if possible. L O V E your smut to DEATH! Thank you❤️

BTS REQUESTS:

Can I get an uhhhh Drabble request of joon wanting reader to ride him but she’s too shy ands he’s also obsessed with her boobs? Gracias unnie😚

Hmm I just came from watching Eat Jin/Eat Chim’s vlive so I’m having feelings... of a slightly crack, lil bit fluffy/smutty~ scenario with Jin and foodplay 😋

BTS reaction to s/o being thicc? Pretty please and thank you

Hiiii! Is there a way i may request a smutty/ fluffy jin? Like one where it's a cock warming one? I love your writing and want you to do it if you can!? Thank youuuu!!

Can I request a suga scenario where he and his girlfriend fight and he gets so mad she thinks he'll get aggressive towards her?

kim taehyung in a bandanna will forever be my kink. like could you just imagine being blinded by his favorite one when he goes down on you? or tied to the bed with them with a vibrator to your clit? or him twirling it and spanking you with it when you’re being a brat? girl 🥵 - ftta

Hello!, I love you fics. Could you write a lovesick/passionate Taehyung smut please

Yoongi getting really mad at anther member bc of whatever while his girlfriend is with them and she gets scared scenario pls :)

can you imagine sucking tae off in poor kookie’s bed? like okay you’re on your knees on the floor, completely naked. tae is on the edge of kook’s bed with his dick in your mouth, head thrown back letting out breathy moans. then poor virgin jungkook walks in and see you two and he’s just a shy bitch and he’s like “that’s.. that’s my bed” but you can see that he’s ROCK HARD as his eyes are just glued on your pussy clenching around nothing. and you and tae are just like, “wanna join?” - ftta

i’m tryna choke on tae and have him stick his fingers down my throat and smack me in the face and hold my hair in a makeshift ponytail while he fucks my face 🥵 - ftta

i want tae to choke me while i ride him into the sunset. I WANNA GET CAUGHT BY PAPA JOON AND MAMA JIN AND GET YELLED AT 😩 tae likes chocolate and i have a whole lot of it that i’m willing to share - ftta

Can you please do something where jungkook eats you out until you can’t feel your legs please?

Hey could you write a story of namjoon and hoseok and the reader being in a poly relationship. The reader is their sub/girlfriend, heavy bdsm and praise kink :3

105 w/ namkook plssss

I WAS LITERALLY SMILING SO HARD WHEN I CAME ACROSS THE “your hair looks vibrant against my dark complexion” PART THEN I JUST COULDNT STOP SMILING OMG. well here’s some more thoughts. i keep having this daydream of tae eating me out after he’s been out all day and he asked if i touched myself at all (it’s a rule that i can’t) and i say i haven’t but i rode kookie’s thigh and jimin ate me out. then he begins a ruthless fingering pace and he’s all cocky “i’m sure jimin can’t make you feel - ftta

Can I get a mufuckinuhhhhh.... Namkook 3some?????

i wanna dom jungkook with taehyung and have him call me mommy and tell me how he’s a good bunny and that he deserves to cum. i wanna listen to him beg me to tell tae to let him cum. “i’m a good bunny mommy. please tell daddy to let me cum. i’m such a good bunny. please, i’m so close” fuck me up

Hey, so I was wondering if you could do a smut fic with Tae (BTS) waking you up with slow passionate sex

yoongi 101 pls ?

i’m not yoongi biased and i try to remain in my lane since my bestfriend is, but like i’m dyinggggg to receive some tongue technology. he’s such a lazy person and i feel like he’ll lazily give head too. always having me on the edge of cumming but not quite enough. i love the idea of edging so yes let’s do it. send me to hong kong min yoongi - ftta

I don't know if you are taking request but could I request a Taehyung x reader? Where it's like a daddy and kitten dynamic, and he keeps praising her while he eats her out? Or something like this? I absolutely love your writing, you're so talented. Thank you 💜

BTS and GOT7 Reacts to Coming Home and S/O Throwin’ It Back

Hi! I'd like a Yoonkook smut. Yoongi and jungkooJ from BTS just for clarification. And I'd also like the numbers 24 and 28 from the second smut list to be included in it. Thank you! Also you can decide if the two of them are dating or are just good friends. Have a nice day/night!

Could you please do a “sex in the shower” with jungkook please???

can i request a poly relationship with a sub!jungkook, dom!taehyung and dom!female reader? where kookie is begging to cum and he promises he’s a good bunny? this has been a reoccurring dream 😂

Hi again ❤ a while ago i request #8 and #18 but i didn't put from what smut game so i'm here to say that they're from Smut game 2. Sorry for my silliness and again thank you very much w/ a dom Yoongi

Hi~ I would like to ask for 19 and 22 with submissive YoonGi and Female reader. By the way i love your blog, it's really awesome ❤

and please please please pretty please do the bts one to their s/o holding in their moans oh PLEASE

How about Suga for that shower sex scene, I feel like that would be great

Hi for your Smut game 5 can I request no.8 no.12 no.14 no.26 no.32 With BTS’ Kim Namjoon please :))

Hello lovely, I just wanted to say you are my absolute favorite writing blog. I was wondering if you could write a smut where you embarrass Namjoon while you're at an event by "flirting" with another member in front of everyone so he punishes you when you get home. Thank you lovely 💕.

SMUT 39 WITH YOONGI??? PLS???

Hello! Could I request #14 with Bts’ Taehyung? :))

PLS THE SMUT PLOT #12 WITH TAE AND JUNGKOOKK??

51 smut game 5 with jungkook please?

Hello:), Could I get a Jimin, Jungkook, and V fanfic with 78,81,83.

Hi! I would like a V(BTS) fanfiction with the prompts 18 and 46

100,103,104 with Bts’ Yoongi please. I love your blog <3

28 smut with Jeon jungkook!!!!!!!!

#48 bondage smut game 3 with Maknae lineV?

#11 smut with jungkook?

Hi!! I absolutely love your writing and was wondering if you could do: y/n and Jungkook first time (him maybe being kind of nervous) Thank you so much!! How do I know if/ when you do it? Will I just have to keep in checking? 😊😂

EXO REQUESTS:

I saw your requests are open! Can I please request a smut with Sehun containing spanking?

Can you do a best friend scenario where you find out that kyungsoo has a daddy kink

I'm not sure what's going on with me, but I have been thinking about Chanyeol a lot lately. Like I really want him to just put his hand on my cheek with his thumb in my mouth as I sink to my knees and he fucks my throat😩, please tell me that this is just a phase

Baekhyun whispering in my ear telling me what a good girl I am for them and whining while kissing my ear and neck telling me how badly he wanted to fuck me. Chanyeol chucking against my pussy, the vibrations causing me to buck my hips up to his face, begging him for more. Them making me cum over and over again. Taking turns fucking me while the other fucks my mouth. Fucking each other while the other fucks me. Until they eventually fuck me at the same time.... Yeah such a way to wake up. -💜(2/2)

I literally woke up so hot and bothered! Laying against Baekhyun, my back against his chest, his arms forcing my legs open for Chanyeol, who is slowly leaving kisses down my body. Baekhyun running his hands down my torso up to my breasts, playing with them. Chanyeol finally giving in to my desperate pleas for him to stop teasing and finally fucking me with his tounge. -💜 (½)

can i request from the smut game? exo’ chanyeol x female reader #15? (maybe sub!chanyeol with a mommy kink?)

smut game 1 // 14 // for lay x male reader

3rd: 77 with dom Baekhyun ft Yixing/Lay

56 and 101 with EXO chanyeol please!!!! Thank you so much!

Hi! Can I get 28 and 39 with EXO Sehun???? Thank you!

82; jongin & kyungsoo

can you write number 8 for lay x male reader plss 💕

If you write for exo...Please write a Dom Minsoek imagine.

Can I get an ot12 exo reaction to you loving being overstimulated for long periods of time(5 orgasms non stop for example) please?

Xiumin Rought Sex prompt?

the baekyeol poly request was about baek and the reader being chayeols littles who weren’t allowed to touch each other but baek being the brat he is gets curious when chanyeol leaves and talks the shy reader into play time?? they probably get in big trouble when he interrupts them 😉

GOT7 REQUESTS:

a smut w morning sex by jaebum?

Can i request 20 of the smut game with got7 mark and Bambam they are my biases ❤

Can you do JB making you his for the first time, if you know what I mean

Could I request a reaction in which the reader (being a little heavier/chubbier than usually) gets into an anxious state when GOT7 undresses them worrying about how they look in their eyes?

hii! could i get a smut w jb from got7 where the reader is riding him in the living room while the tv is on in the background? thank you c: ps. love your writing c:

Can I request a GOT7 reaction/scenario, in which Y/N is very self conscious and insecure about herself/himself due to being a little chubbier than others and questions if she’s worth being liked and if the member actually likes her. 🤧🙏🏻

can you please make got7 reacting to you getting angry and ignoring him in a conversation while his friends watch?

Can I request got7 reacting to making y/n cry??🥰

i feel like bam is a cum inside, swallow, on your face or on your tits. he likes to paint his s/o - ftta

Will you please write something with Smut Game 2 numbers 13 and 15 with Mark from GOT7?💚 Your writings are so amazing by the way :)))

Can you do jealous Mark got7 scenario smut how would be. Like you don't give him attention because you are busy speaking with the boys or else. Pretty pls ❤

The thought of Mark and Bambam and Jinyoung just taking me in all three holes. My tattooed body covered in their cum. Them calling me a cock hungry whore as i happily choke on whoever's length is in my mouth. My pierced bottom lip bruised from the face fucking. All their moans and grunts. Jinyoung holding my wrists behind my back groaning what a slutty cunt i have and that im their fuck toy to fuck whenever they want 😍

BTS and GOT7 Reacts to Coming Home and S/O Throwin’ It Back

Can I request jealous Daddy!JB having angry sex with you (his gf) after seeing you talk to your Ex Seungcheol from SVT? Let’s just say that maybe Scoups got a little too close for JBs liking.

Can I get 36, 45, 82, and 100 with JB, Jinyoung, and Mark from Got7?

Hello can I request a threeway yugyeom x bambam x girl reader smut please?? With prompts 37 and 65 from smut game 5? Noona kink please 😭 tysm ily if you do this!

I’m the anon that requested number 80 for markson... I forgot to add which smut game: smut game 5

Can you please do number 28 with jb?

(Smut game 5) Yugyeom and 65, 71, and 72 please xoxo

5+77+79 got7 gang bang pleasue

11 with bambam please

jinyoung with 27 and 57

👋🏻 hey. I don’t know if your still taking requests for you smut game but 104,101,40,14and 21 with mafia boss JB make up sex

Could I request #73 (from smut game 5) with BamBam?

16 and 17 smut with Jackson please!

Telling GOT7 you're ready for a baby 😉

Hello idk if you got my ask because my internet was giving out right when I was sensing it but I wanted to request a threesome smut with yugyeom x bambam x Female reader. Using scenarios 37 65 79 from the smut game #5!!! Tysm! (If you did see the first ask you can ignore this one)

Shiii that Monsta X reaction post was great, I know you said you'd do the maknae line but I was wondering if you could kind of make one for Got7 as well. It's cool if you don't want to I just wanted to know if you'd be up for it (holding back moans)

Rough sex with Jinyoung (GOT7)?

Jinyoung (GOT7) Dom imagine?

MONSTA X REQUESTS:

Can I request a smutty Jooheon drabble? Like maybe he’s a mafia king and you’re his gf.

Part V of ‘A helping hand maybe mouth’

For the drabble thing...uh Shownu as an eThot or like him just being real good to himself in the mirror 😳😳🙈 an I mean if you already have something like that link me frfr♡

Wonho. Love at first sight

Hey can you do smut where Jooheon and you are sworn enemies? You can decide the rest of the plot -Thanks

Hello loove 💗💗 if you are accepting requests and aren’t too busy with life, may I request a soft Jooheon smut? Thank you in advance! ☺️

Hi can I request a Shownu date smut?

Can you do a (possible daddy???/sir??) Monsta X reaction to them fucking you so hard you have tears running down your cheeks? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Thanks luv

Can I get a Monsta X request of Minhyuk? 20, 45, 46 Thank you, love you~

And Shownu's pillowy lips 😍😍😍😍 imagine them running along your skin and whispering naughty things in your ear…

11 & 14 with chanhyuk from monsta x please ❤️

Hello!! I just found your blog and I really like it it’s great !! But could I request a scenario with Kihyun from Monsta X where he’s been stressed and frustrated all day but when he finally gets home he lets all his anger out on you ( If you know what I mean *wink* *wink*) please and thank you!!❤️

I was wondering if you could do number 41 in the list you made, with Kihyun (from Monsta x)?

Heeeeey I was wondering if your requests are still open, and if so can I get a smut fic about Hyungwon (Monsta X) being in love with his cute chubby black girlfriend's creamy thighs but in a smutty way lol

#39 with shownu? thank you!

OML REQUESTS ARE OPEN OKAY CALM DOWN, I want to request Jooheon x fem!reader x Jackson smut with the prompts (13,39,40,79 and 81) where Jackson confessed to Jooheon that he had been have no fantasies about Jooheon’s gf and how he wants to make her cum so much she’s shaking, and passed out by the end? Good god I’m too dirty for my own health. Thank you and have a good day, remember it’s okay to feel sad, and if you need to talk, never hesitate to do that! 💙💙💙💙

I just noticed your requests are open and I'm super excited! Could you please do MX Hyungwon as a dom, similar to his "Promise is a Promise" character. I'm not too good with situations, maybe jealously or SugarDaddy!AU? Thank you so much, you're a very sophisticated smut writer!

monsta x reaction to their s/o riding them

Monsta X reaction to you having triplets

Wonho being whiny in bed smut please?

Yay omg your requests are open!!!! Please can i have a smut with shownu and fem reader. Since its nearing christmas maybe something where you're both decorating your apartment and he finds the christmas lingerie you were going to surprise him with???

Monsta x Joohoen..'When you ask him to go rough on you' ?

NCT REQUESTS:

Overstimulation with Lucas?? ~🌹

i heard that you're requests are open, can u do something where you make NCT's Taeyong mad and he ties you up and overstimulates you with a vibrator

Werewolf Lucas x African American reader smut please?

hiii, can i request sub!Jaehyun, tied up, whiny, + overstimulation pls??? thank youuuu💕

This is a smut for yuta NCT. Where the female reader is helping him study for something(English maybe) and decides to reward him because the did good, !sub-yuta! And he is a moaning mess

Omg I don't know why... But I'm eating ice cream and it started melting so I had to hurry to lick it off... And now I'm becoming obsessed with the thought of someone licking ice cream off me..or whipped cream... Or licking it off of Jaehyun... I can't 😰 -💜

I got an idea. So Lucas smut. You've been seeing Jaehyun for a while and you like him he's a really sweet dude. Unknowingly to you Lucas is hella jealous and decides to do something about it. So he may or may not have mess up your date with Jaehyun causing Jaehyun to think you the date never existed from deleting your text. And he comes to save the day but he can't stand how you're so willing to forgive Jaehyun so it turns into a bit of angry/jealous sexy time.

Can I get a smut with either Yuta or Winwin, where you are helping him study and he is having a hard time so you decide to give him a reward 😏. Put some sub- action to please.

So do you write for Jaemin NCT? If you do can I get a first time with reader smut? Shy and soft. If you are not comfortable with writing for Jaemin can I have it for Yuta instead. Thank you. ~💕

Daddy kink with Jaehyun.........🤤

could i ask for a johnny seo x yukhei smut where they both fucked you before and johnny walks in on you getting ate out from lucas and bets he can make you scream louder? This has been on my mind for the looongest. please and thank you 💘

You write your NCT right? Can you make a yuwin x reader smut, some whinny baby boys would be nice to, if you don't want to do two characters you can pick one.

do you think you could write a Johnny x poc reader x jaehyun where they are all roommates and one day they see the readers toys and uses them on her? please and thank u 💓

Smut Game 5 | 29 + 28 + 50 with YUTA from NCT. 😎 Thank you, I love your incredible content.

#46 with nct yuta pls ;)

Can I request 65 with Jungwoo? For the smut game 5 thing? Is this how I do it? :)

1st: 44 with Sicheng/Winwin as the sub.

2nd: 85 with Doyoung as the dom ft Jungwoo.

5, 23, 27 for Ceo!Johnny?

Omg ok so the very very first one and very very last one of the post with Johnny of nct 😬😬 If not, just the first one please 😌 (Sending on anon cause it sends from my main) -@sexynct

10 + 69 with nct 127 winwin? 💚

can I request yuta smut where he gets jealous? 👀 Also I think your account is safe! The tumblr rule doesn’t apply to smut 💘

44, 20 for the smut game please 🥰🥰 and also can be with either with taeyong, doyoung or jaehyun <3 (smut game 5)

#50 from smut game 5 with ncts johnny please x

PENTAGON REUQESTS:

okay yanan from pentagon is my ult bias. my beautiful baby. i bet sex with him is always so deep, long and full of love and praises. “you’re so pretty baby” “you feel so good clenching around me” “oh my, i love you” he makes me so soft - ftta

SHINEE REQUESTS:

Hello!! After seeing Taemin’s Want mv i’ve been craving for a Taemin smut about him being a seducer??? Like i have no idea what i want but that HAHAH please go off i trust your writing ^^

SOLO ARTISTS:

Could u do Cock warming with Christian Yu?

Hello, i love your scenarios. Can please make a story with Monster woo, like the movie a marry an anti fan,or something bad fell in love. Thank you

you could do a scenario with no:el where reader is older than him (noona) and gets flirting with him, and he is embarrassed? well, he is legally of age, but if you do not want to do smut I understand. but I really want that scenario. thanks!

hey sweetie can u please write some coogie fluff? i dont find anything😭

pls a christian yu scenario about he discover that will be dad, his gf saying that she is pregnant?

hey can u pls do a scenario with seungmin(wybh)

can u write a jealous monster woo smUT PLEASE

Can you do a size kink smut with monster woo

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Jay Park fluff/smut where you haven’t slept with him in a long time because of a huge weight gain from medication? I love your blog sooo such! Keep up the amazing work doll 🖤

can you write something where monster woo comes home really tired and upset and i comfort him by giving him a massage and lots of cuddles (please and thank you )

please write more christian yu or kim youngwoo smut!!!! Daddy’s Cum Slut is so good iM crYinG

Monster Woo smut where you’re a virgin and its your first time, thanks!

Hi! Im new to your account but i already love it and the way you write🙈 i just wanna say please keep doing the audios, i really like the one you posted!!!! And if you take requests, pls a Simon Dominic one🙈 thank you💙

Hi, can you make a Dean x Reader one where the reader is having a panic attack and he tries to calm her down and it turns into a make out session. Fluffy plss 🙂

I'm desperately in need of Christian yu scenarios. Maybe a scenario with his girlfriend on Instagram live? like he does a live at morning and u join him after u wake up? love u btw❤

hello! may i request a dpr live smut wherein the reader is a stripper and dabin watches them after a long day of recording. thanks! ❤️

Pleaseee I need some more Christian Yu smut in my life, it can be anything!!

ANOTHER CHRISTIAN YU DADDY SMUT PLEASE !!!

Can I have a Kris scenario with overstimulation and a quiet and shy reader please?

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Jay Park fluff/smut where you’re insecure about the baby weight you gained after having his first child? If not that’s totally fine! I love your blog, Thank you 🥰🥰🥰

Hello ok so this might be little to descriptive but here goes can you write a smut about monster woo having sex with his neighbors daughter. Can you also make the girl like 4'7?

Christian x Y/n x Dabin yes PUHLEEZ you are a genius can’t freakin wait ~ Toki 💕 anon

Omg I am so freakin excited to read that New Christian Yu Smut!!!!!!! Lollll you tryna add a dabin/dpr live smut to ya requests👀❤🙏 I feel like dabin is like lowkey kinky ya feel? Like choking and maybe even slapping like.... I see it. Every time I listen to text me and he says show me how you uhh and im like ???? How I what you gotta be specific😂💀 anyway I'm rambling ok gonna read now - Toki anon💘

hi, could you write a christian yu x monster woo x reader smut, theyre daddy/master doms and the reader is their pet/baby girl. theyre into degradation but praise kink too and are sweet and rough, :) merci

Hi! I love your writing! I was wondering if you could do a Jay Park fluff/smut of where you’re insecure to have sex with him because you’re plus sized, and not his type but he fell in love with you anyway? That kinda made no sense, sorry 😬 but if not that’s so chill! Keep up the great work doll!!

I just read the monster woo smut and I fucking loved it. Can I please request a smut with young west from mkit rain ( his name is Kim youngwoo as well haha) where you come at the studio to keep him company while he’s recording his latest mixtape ( so he’s kinda stressed) but you’re horny and things get steamy? Thanks a lot in advance

Oh and can you make y/n black, with long hair , big eyes and a little bit shorter than young west ?( I’m tall but he’s surely taller than me lol) and slim thick ( just a little tho) Ok I hope I didn’t exaggerate with the request 😅 Thanks again if you’ll write it :)

Oh god, super nerve wracking to write to you without anon on but I'm trying to be braver and you deserve to know who it is that appreciate your awesome efforts of writing. If it's possible I would love to request a Monster Woo smut where he's just downright domestic? Just really taking care of his babygirl? Let me know if you need more description!

HIII I LOVE YOUR FANFICS OMG 😍😍 Can I please request a Monster Woo smut where he fights with his s/o and is really angry so he lets out all the anger in bed? If that makes sense, like he would be really rough and shit? Thank youuu 🥰

STRAY KIDS REQUESTS:

Alrighty do you think you can pop out a chan(Chris) Drabble where he likes to be choked? Like it starts out making out in bed ignoring the movie we put on and then smutty smut smut SMUUUUTTTT😊 - Toki💘

okay so can you do a make out session with lots of dry humping that ends up with u getting him off by a handjob with chan?

thigh riding with minho from stray kids?

What about Chan & Squirting ? Like it’s not his plan but he’s going so hard it just happens 🤷🏽‍♀️

Pls just write anything smutty about Felix bc he got me feeling some way recently

hello, I love your writings so much you're amazing! I wanted to request a cockwarming session with chan in his studio, thank you! ❤❤❤.

a smut or pre-smut w han jisung of stray kids? maybe in the dorm? ^^

Heyy, hope you’re having a good day uwu Could you please write stray kids’ reaction to their gf sexting them (teasing) in public thank you!!

If requests are open and you write for Stray Kids can you do a bang chan smut maybe😅

can I get a bang chan meal with edging and overstimulation on the side? I would also like a sex toy with my combo :) and a large size kink <3 extra napkins and extra lube please

hey, i know one of these is already written, but i wanted to request a felix (stray kids) x reader fic. uh maybe where he asks you to be his boyfriend and then the members walk in on you guys making out?? i’m sorry if this is too similar to the other fic!! and of course you don’t have to do it if it’s too much trouble!! thanks to all you guys for being wonderful writers 🌸

i'm not sure if you're open to requests atm but i was wondering if you could make stray kids' reaction to taking a shower with their s/o for the first time and or seeing them in a bikini or some sort lol sorry if im asking too much and its okay if you don't want to do it, i understand. keep up the good work💟

Hi! Can I request a bang chan smut? Maybe you guys are in the dorm and need to be quiet so the others don't here. Love your blog!!💗

Could you do 63 and 99 from smut game 5 for stay kids bang chan please?💜

SVT REQUESTS:

a seokmin smut w him having a thing for titties and dirty talk👉👈also THIGHS his thighs

What would seventeen be like with their little? I gotta know~

hi yes can minghao and vernon run a train on me? please and thank you from the bottom of my vagina and throat - ftta

THE BOYZ REQUESTS:

Not to be that person but sunwoo can like you know eat me out with those lips because 🥵🥵🥵🥵

VIXX REQUESTS:

A smut with a dom Ravi for the smut drabble thing

Haiii beautiful soul💋 if your game n.5 is still open can i request threesome with VIXX Ravi and Leo, 80., 90. and 91. If u cant make it its okay. I just wanted to say that my inner hoe is enjoying your posts so much💋 have a beautiful day/night.

Best friends to lovers fluff/ Angst featuring Vixx Hongbin x reader Pwease?

Hey, i wanted to request a smut! Threesome with vixx’s hongbin and sanghyuk. Smut game 5 (12,54,81,84&87) can it be like the main character is hongbins gf and she keeps teasing him while the two members are playing video games then !!!

Okay because I am the biggest slut for Leo and Hongbin can I get the dirtiest kinkiest threesome please. Your work is amazing and I only trust your admins with this request. Thank you in advance

Uh those last two Leo requests are from game 5 ^~^ one was with prompt 5 and the other with prompt 82 😬

82, 79, 32, with Leo, Ravi, and Wonho please??

5, 27, 29 with VIXX Leo please? I love reading your smut 😏

Yay, requests are open!! 😃 can you please do CEO Leo who is just completely enthralled with Reader when she starts working for him and he flirts with her no matter where they are or who’s with them and eventually smut happens? I’m in need of some good VIXX smut 😏😏

Can i get 43 and 26 with Mafia!Ravi the pornshik? lol i'm gonna love this blog hard! ♡♡♡

WINNER REQUESTS:

psa: sex with winner’s jinwoo is probably so loving and sweet but if he’s pissed he’s breaking my back, making me cry and shit. rip the other members ears - ftta

[velvetgons]

hyunsuk as your boyfriend

word count; 3.3k i’m sorry 

warnings; hmm i don’t think anything but possibly swearing i can’t be sure!! 

requested; no uwu i’m a new blog :) 

(also to gif makers; if you don’t want me to use your gif for any reason please just tell me and i’ll remove it!! apologies in advance if that’s the case!!) 

gif credit; bggon on tumblr!! please tell me if you’d like it removed :)

ok so uh let’s just give it a lil background

you decide to go out n get some new clothes bc u know. u got some extra money to spend why not

and you take some of your friends!! and you’re shopping and having a good time and everything is great

until you see this cute lil blue dress and you’re like ‘that’s The One, i need that dress……very necessary to my daily life’

so you tell your friends that you’re just gonna go find your size and they’re all “yes!! get the cute dress!! we’ll see you at the check-out!!”

so you’re about to grab the dress when you see,, the exact same dress except this time! it’s in red

so now you’re completely torn obviously because :// do you want the blue one or the red one,, they’re both cute,, but what’s gonna look nicer on you,,

and you’re just kinda stood there staring at them both because it turns out both colours have your size and now you don’t know what to do with urself

n just as your about to pout and go find one of your friends to help you pick you hear a Boy VoiceTM  

and it’s just a quiet lil, “you should get the red one!”

but it makes you turn around because whom said that to you

and you see….a cute boy….just kinda smiling at you while he looks at a shirt or something,, and he smiles even bigger when you look at him and just kinda shrugs before saying, “it’s a prettier colour!!”

part of you is like ?? i’m not gonna get the red one just because a random stranger thinks it’s a cool colour

but the other part of you wins because it’s like “:) you’re right red is a rlly cute colour :) i’ll get this one thank u fashion advice stranger”

and he smiles back at you before he turns back to the clothes he’s looking at and you know you’re supposed to just grab the dress and go now

but. you,, want the cute boy stranger to turn around again,, so u grab another random two articles of clothing and tap him on the back to be like “what about out of these two??”

and you just. keep doing it. and he keeps answering,, to the point where he doesn’t even turn around anymore because he’s giving you all his Focus

so now you have an armful of clothes that ur not gonna buy and he’s offering to carry some for u while u get them checked out and ur like “haha! of course! this is a great idea!”

and like. he isn’t dumb he knows what ur doing so he’s like. hyping himself up in his head like ‘come on!!! she’s clearly into you!! you’ve got this!! just…ask her out and if she says no! it’s all good! we’ve got this bro!’

so he takes a deep ass breath (n u think for a second that you’ve done something wrong) n is like “or…u could like idk man just…idk get the cute red dress and wear it…when i pick you up for a date…maybe like…tomorrow or something…” and in his head it sounds really smooth n nonchalant

but in reality it’s just a jumble of incoherence but you heard date and tomorrow so you’re like “yes!!!!!!!!!! yes this is Very Good i am free tomorrow pls do that” n give him your phone to save his number in

and he’d save it as ‘fashion god (a.k.a hyunsuk)’ with like fifty hearts next to it

((also as a side note you’d have to text him ur own name because he wouldn’t even ask for it in the store…… a charismatic king))

and that would be the story you’d have to give to your kids one day about how you met their dad :) very romantic

anyway! with that being said! let’s get into actually dating him

hyunsuk is a Loud Boy and is most of the time a Happy Boy

and he would constantly try and make sure that you’re feeling equally as happy as him because!! he really just hates the idea of you being upset or down

he hates it so much when your upset because of something outside of his control (like school, work, college) because he just doesn’t know how to fix it?? and he’d resort to doing really dumb stuff to get you to smile at him !! because seeing you :( makes his heart physically hurt

honestly he would melt if you did the same thing for him…..like….if you showed clear concern for him or hyped him up in anything he does the babey smile you know the one loll and feels his heart go zooooooom

i don’t think he’d actively go out of his way to show affection in public but it would definitely just happen

like. sometimes he’s just walking and the next thing he knows he’s tangling his hand with yours and giving your knuckles each a lil kiss

or you’re standing in front of him and his arms just kinda outstretch and pull you really close to him and he’s burying his face into the crook of your neck

or you’re just stood next to him minding your business when you’re tugged into his side and feel him leaving lil kisses on your cheeks while he calls you cute

all of his friends are Disgusted and beg him to not do that right in front of them 24/7 but like. he genuinely doesn’t notice until he’s already done it

however! if you initiated affection (in public) he,,,, blushes,,

in private you two are always attached somehow so it’s more unusual for you two not to be touching

his favourite form of affection would be when you were cuddling and you snuggled your face into his chest ! he’d literally go blank for a second before he’d yell something abt u being cute

i also personally see hyunsuk as someone who would wanna talk about so much all the time??? like…his mind is just buzzing with stuff all the time and he’d love having someone to share that with

and you’d have to do this late at night a lot (because of his schedule) but when he’d come to yours and if you were still awake, you’d both kinda just lay facing each other in bed with ur pinkies linked really loosely while you talked about a bunch of different stuff

they’d be long conversations too!!! you wouldn’t need to ask each other what you’d been up to that day because you’d be talking pretty much all day oof

so you’d be talking to each other about random stuff you thought of!! he’ll ask you about your views on stuff like ghosts and aliens and conspiracy theories, and you’ll get to hear his, and he’ll talk to you about his favourite songs and why they’re his favourites and he’ll really want you to explain yours too, he’d also ask dumb stuff like “do u think fish can see water” and would want a genuine answer 

but overall those would go on for hours and you’d only know he was ready to finally sleep when he curled an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him

speaking of cuddling!! hyunsuk would go between being the little spoon or having you lie on his chest to sleep

he loves being the little spoon because,, it’s such a warm experience,, so safe,, and bundled up,, and he’d definitely wrap himself up in a blanket before doing it for Maximum Comfort

but! he also loves having you sleep on his chest because “you’re my baby!! you’re so small it’s where you belong!!” (even if you’re taller than him hyunsuk what) he just,, loves how close you feel to him when he knows you can hear his heartbeat and he can feel how warm you are and he can see you falling asleep and it makes him feel so !! warm inside

he’d definitely introduce you to his friends really quick into dating you lol because?? what if you guys don’t get along?? they literally mean The World to him??

but of course you would i mean. what’s not to like

and they’d tell you embarrassing stories about him (seunghun would go into immense detail of how hyunsuk talked about your first date, including an oscar worthy rendition of hyunsuk talking about your first kiss)

you’d probably tell hyunsuk that you were scared of byounggon and hyunsuk would CACKLE

he’d be like “him?? he?? he’s a Baby! he’s the Sweetest Boy!” and then place all of his efforts into getting you and byounggon to be certified best friends

and like. it would work but more because you and byounggon had to bond over who would take care of him in his chaotic inventive ways to get you and byounggon to talk and communicate (including: accidentally locking you two in the practice room so you’d talk through ‘your issues with one another’ which would literally end up with you showing byounggon dumb pictures you had of hyunsuk on your phone and him giving you music recommendations)

[a/n; using that as a way to talk about something else,, writer of the year :)] we all obviously know that hyunsuk is very music orientated as a person!!! and he wouldn’t hesitate to share that with you through either his performances, his producing, or just music he likes

he’d make multiple playlists for you that would be for different things! (songs he wants to show you, songs that remind him of you, songs he wants to you to listen to and tell him whether performing them would be a good idea etc.)

he’d also love for you to show him your favourite music because he’d personally see music sharing as something very intimate and special!!! and if you ever told him about songs that reminded you of him he might actually have a heart palpitation

but i think in general he’d wanna be involved with something you’re interested in because you supported him so much in his passion!! if you were into art, he’d wanna know all about what you were drawing/painting and he’d find cute museums to go to together! if you were into writing, he’d wanna know what you were writing about and he’d wanna find you cool notebooks and stationary to use for it! he’d just wanna involve himself in any way possible to let u know he cared about it too!!

now onto his other Big Hobby

he…is now your personal stylist…a fashion king…he will not let you change his name in your phone…

he wants to go shopping to find cool clothes all the time! and now he has someone else to take with him! and someone else to try and dress!

i know there’s like the dumb Boyfriend Trope of ‘no :( you can’t wear that because it’s revealing :(‘ but like………hyunsuk wouldn’t care lmao

he sees something he thinks you’d look cute in?? he immediately jumps to get you to try it on for him!! it’s not a weird thing he’s just a fashion king and needs everyone to know that you two are the Best Dressed Couple

speaking of which! dating hyunsuk would be such a healthy thing !

he’d be a lil heavy-handed at first just because he’s not 100% on what he’s actually supposed to be doing

but once he figures out how dating actually works, it’s over for literally everyone else

like, at first, he might get jealous quite a lot because :(( what if u find someone better :(( but then he’d kinda re-evaluate and be like ‘i could…literally talk about this…what’s stopping me…’

and then you’d have a conversation about it where you’d reassure him that he’s your man!! you like Love him and stuff!!

from then on i think dealing with issues that came up in your relationship would just,,, get easy to him??

like, you’re jealous over someone else? that’s okay, you guys can talk about it and work it out!! he’s stressed and tired and just wants alone time? he’ll explain it to you in a calm n rational way without snapping at you!! you snap at him because you’re stressed and tired and just want alone time? he understands, but he tells you to tell him next time!!

he just can’t comprehend that any of the things you two work through are actually genuine problems for other couples because?? he finds them so easy to avoid

that’s not to say you two wouldn’t argue, because like, everyone does. but arguments would just,, end so quickly because

first of all: he hates there being tension between you two, and hates the idea of upsetting you even more

and second of all: he’d calm down quick enough to talk things through calmly and discuss a good way for both of you to fix your problems

and ! the relationship would never ever feel one-sided

you’d support him so much!! you’d remind him to get sleep, and to eat and drink regularly, and to not take the criticisms too harshly because he knows how good he is

((a side note: you’d probably Go Off at some point about yg and how gross he is for being so mean and never complimenting hyunsuk because you knew it upset him and you’d be ranting and gesturing around with your hands and probably yelling a lil bit and hyunsuk would just be looking at you like (✿╹◡╹) because his heart is so warm while you’re talking about burning the yg building down for him))

and he’d support you just as much!! he’d remind you to not overthink things, and to take breaks if you had studying to do, and would call you at least once a day if his schedule was packed just to get a quick run-down on how your day was going

also, on the topic of phone calls, sometimes he’d just call you and leave the call going while he did other stuff

most of the time it’d be while he did writing or producing

but if he wanted you to ‘be there’ during his dance practices he’d facetime and just kinda,,, leave it going while him and everyone else did their routine

and you’d either be doing other stuff or watching but either way you’d hype them all up for how well they were doing

and hyunsuk is（￣ε￣ʃƪ）because oh boy!! he loves you a whole bunch

onto another topic but he’d really wanna have you meet his family only after he knew it was gonna be serious with you two !

and he’d already know his family would love you so he wasn’t stressed (you definitely were, but he was just like “no!!! they’ll love you because they love me!!!”) and from then he’d really love for you to be close to his family

but oh boy meeting your family. he’d have a heart-attack

what if they didn’t like him?? what if they thought he was a bad influence?? he couldn’t handle that

(you’d go to meet them and you’d be calming him down because “you’re literally the cutest sweetest most charming boy i have ever met?? how could anyone ever hate you??”) and he’d still be super nervous but. two minutes into being through the door he has it! he’s got ur whole family just as whipped for him as you are by the time he leaves

he’s like the meme of ‘your mum asked me to ask if you wanted to come to dinner with us at your house tonight :)’

hyunsuk is also definitely the type to wanna get you guys a couple item!! and he’d try and find something really ugly because he’d think it was funny to see your reactions to the cringy couple shirts and hoodies

but then one day he’d come over n be like “hello i have done it again!!”

and ur like “oh no. why. what did you do. i’m too young to go to prison hyunsuk pls”

and he’s all “:) no silly we finally have a couple item”

and ur immediately like. “no. i won’t have it. take it back! no more micky and minnie mouse matching hoodies!! i won’t do it and you can’t make me!!!”

but he’s like “no i promise it’s a good one this time :( please”

so u allow him one chance…..just one….to prove himself…..

and boy! does he do it!

he gets out a cute lil box n he’s chanting like a lil kid when he gives it to you and he’s like, “open it open it open it!!”

and you do and :(( it’s this cute lil locket and you look up at him like :O

and he’s grinning so big and nodding for you to open it and when you do there’s your favourite picture of him in it and you’re !! so happy that you don’t know what to do with yourself

but then he’s like “wait! that isn’t even the best part!” and he shuffles about for a second and wham! he’s wearing a matching one

and ur like :O this is the cutest thing in the entire whole wide world

but ! he opens it up and he’s grinning at u n he looks like he knows something you don’t and there!! is a picture of you where you’re in a shirt of his and the lighting’s kinda bad because you’re kinda sat up in ur bed and ur grinning real big at something

and ur like “:/ hyunsuk that is the ugliest picture of me”

he would be. genuinely offended. he would pop off ! he would be gesturing around with his hands and rambling about how “that’s so dumb??? u look so happy?? and so cute??? and it’s my favourite picture of you ever???”

from that day obviously you wouldn’t take yours off because uhm that’s so cute

but like you just think he’ll wear his when it fits in with whatever the current days LookTM is

but………he wears it All the time…..(but he does take it off to sleep n shower because he’s scared to damage it!!!)

also i firmly believe hyunsuk isn’t the type to get jealous very easily anyway, but as i said earlier he wouldn’t find talking about it difficult

like,, if there was a situation where someone was being too touchy with you and it made him uncomfortable then he’d wait until later and then tell you kinda like, “hi idk what u think of this but it just made me kinda uncomfy :// can we talk abt it” and you would !! and you’d find something that worked for both of you !!

i mean hyunsuk really is like. that boyfriend

i know this is super long already so i’m gonna go into a quick fire bit;

he would completely and totally buy you chapsticks whenever he saw any !! like now he just buys two of each as a natural reaction to seeing them

leaves u notes if he has to leave early however they’re not like ‘ily see u later mwah’ they’re more like dumb jokes he thinks of or drawings of weird animal combinations he thinks of

totally accidentally steals the covers in the night if you guys move away from each so he buys you the cutest most fluffy blanket he can find as an apology

also!! his kisses would be the best ever?? he loves giving you lil cheek and forehead kisses 24/7

has to give you one (1) kiss every time you have to leave and one (1) kiss every time he sees you  

but he gives you two (2) kisses every single time you compliment him!!!

overall! i think hyunsuk would be one of the most relaxed and easy-going ((and best but you didn’t hear that from me)) boyfriends anyone could ever have

thank you for coming to my ted-talk

[aba-ridemerenji]

people always want to know these fictional characters' kinks, but what are YOURS 👀

ANON THIS IS SO SWEET????? Nobody ever asks me what I like (and i don’t expect them to, this is a Bleach imagines blog). Thank u for asking, baby angel! This is going to be VERY NSFW and TMI.

There are... a lot. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but like… I can only be so vulnerable at any one time ok

CREAMPIES – it’s not the idea of getting pregnant, so much as the, er, substance and the feeling of being stuffed like a double stuffed oreo

since we’re on the topic of being stuffed, big dicks. thick dicks. Just the THOUGHT of being stretched out by a fat one is 👌 (I’m not trying to be a size queen, dont get me wrong, too big with too little prep is a nightmare but when its good, ITS GOOD)

Also one with a very pronounced head ridge? Does that make sense? For me, I can definitely feel a defined corona inside

Spanking.

Say it with me kids: arms and shoulders, arms and shoulders, put my legs on your shoulders

Also juicy tiddies. Give me a pair of hairy bara tiddies and I will want to immediately squeeeeze / sink my teeth into them. This is like half sexual, half asmr/stim(is that the right word??)? You know how people like squishing stress balls? Or slime? This is me with pecs.

Also I’m a lot rougher with pecs, like i feel like they can really take a good kneading/smushing, but boobies, soft and squishy as they are, feel more delicate? I mean I wouldn’t want anyone to touch mine the way I manhandle guy tiddies.

I like to think that I’m some strong independent woman, and I am! But I (mistakenly, I know) equate that with being a dom, and on principle, i don’t want to be a submissive, I want to be that bitch with a whip in one hand and the cock of a drooly, begging mess of a man in the other

but idk who i’m kidding because one time i SHOOK HANDS with a person who was the very definition of a big titty bara daddy IRL, and felt lightheaded for like a good 10 mins afterwards

Thick boys are just so… so solid. And I don’t mean just muscular – if they have a good amount of CHUNK to them on top of the muscle oh my god

And when the person i’m with can command my respect ahhhh it does things to me. Not the insistent, “do what i say” tantrum brand of bossy. I’m talking clear instructions. Fire behind a calm, even tone. Sure of himself. No waffling.

If he’s like this AND he thick?

Im weak yall

Ya anyway idk if that bit about chonky muscular boys qualifies as a kink but I just really needed yall to know how I feel about them.

Super bonus if they tall

Ok i know the tall thing is basic but tall + chonky = love. I just love feeling tiny ok

And yes this also goes hand in hand with liking big dicks

Big buff guys who look really MEAN are also so my type?? If you look jacked af and pissed as hell about it, I will literally do whatever you want (as long as you’re actually a good person and not an asshole)

Also romantic sex ahhhhhhhh its the best my kink is love

I’m also not mad at period sex. It’s usually a good time

Idk if its a breast kink if it’s MY breasts involved, but when a guy plays with my nipples i go from 0-100 real quick

In conclusion, a lot of this is mental, as sex usually is. Even if my experiences with my kinks have not all been positive in reality, the fantasy of it definitely does it for me.

[existingispetty]

hii!! was wondering if i could get a male bsd matchup please 🙏 found your blog and couldn’t not :’)

appearance: she/her, 5’7, long blonde hair, v pale like deathly so lmao, i wear clear framed glasses but also have contacts, my style is like fairly basic and girly with a little emo influence might be the best way to put it?

personality: enfp 7w6- im known to be quite a loud person who jokes ab a lot, could literally talk about anything for hours, but im also a very emotional + sensitive person and can worry about stupid stuff often, i just don’t tend to show it infront of lots of people yk? id like someone i can let that guard down infront of a little sometimes. im a bit of a mom friend, like ill always let others come to me for support. also a huge perfectionist so i can be a lil hard on myself sometimes if I’m trying to do something too

interests: art (im going to college for it so ofc) , makeup, fashion, cartoons, listening to music (don’t have an exact taste, adore lots of stuff from kpop to parx and paramore) and a few video games too- i am absolutely competitive as hell, ass is getting kicked. im very much more creatively minded than anything!!

love languages: hmmm i think id have to put it down to physical touch and quality time, but im honestly just easy to impress with even small things overall. also will be an absolute sucker for nicknames 99% of the time and i tend to make fun of the people around me jokingly as affection (unless they’re uncomfy ofc)

praying i did all this right aha- no pressure at all, if you get to me then thank u sm in advance <33

Hello! Thank y oh so much for the ask I really appreciate I hope you enjoy it! I’m happy that you found my blog interesting! +++++++++++++++++++++++++

Your matchup is…(aggressive drumroll*)

Atsushi Nakajima

He’s kinda hyper and loud as well he may not match your energy 24/7 but he doesn’t dislike your attitude at all! Atsushi gets really emotional so he’ll do his best to comfort you rather than criticize you. Atsushi would love to talk to you for hours on end! Atsushi and you can worry together… but he’ll also reassure you that everything is fine. Atsushi completely understands if you are uncomfortable with showing emotions around people he’s very accepting. Atsushi trusts you with any secret he’s ever had he loves your company. Atsushi will always be concerned with your well-being but he doesn’t want to stop you from being great!

Atsushi will literally be in shock after seeing your art then Immediately beg you to teach him. honestly, anything you are interested in or good at, Atsushi falls in love with no matter what it is. You could probably get him into modeling if you liked that. Atsushi will try to match your competitiveness but he doesn’t think he’s very up to it, but he’ll try! Physical touch and quality time especially are Atsushis areas of expertise. He will love to cuddle or hold hands! Atsushi would take you out on the nicest moray relaxing dates ever.

[readfelice-blog]

moominland chronicles Sechszehn: bloody tale of woe continued

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,

Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days,

Thursday, Friday, Happy Days,

The weekend comes, my cycle hums

Ready to race to you

These days are ours

Happy and free. (Oh Happy Days)

These days are ours

Share them with me.(Oh baby)

Goodbye grey sky, hello blue,

there's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

feels so right you can't be wrong,

rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Saturday, what a day

Groovin' all week with you

It’s Wednesday // now its Sunday (I couldn’t finish this on Wednesday, it was still to close).

First off I’m asking for money, I will go into more depth next week because I’m facing the crisis of what the value of my work really is, for now this is my Crowdfunding campaign:

https://igg.me/at/bocemachtocho/x/19564227

Please support if you can.

Music….

Just listen to these, they’re both little slices of genius that deserve your time:

LYDIA LUNCH Queen of Siam

https://www.discogs.com/Lydia-Lunch-Queen-Of-Siam/release/392276

NICOLAS JAAR Hardcore Ambient Mix

https://soundcloud.com/otherpeoplerecords/nicolas-jaar-harcore-ambient …

Here’s the recap and then what happened next on my fine romp through the German Health service…

MONDAY 1/10/18

bleeding

First clot plops out, come into contact with rude receptionists, no one will give me an appointment

TUESDAY 2/10/18

bleeding

Horrible morning cleaning, go to TK and sort my insurance, go to emergency doctor who tells me to go to a gynaecologist

WEDNESDAY 3/10/18

bleeding

Home all day making work, have a little singsong at night. (national holiday - no doctors open)

THURSDAY 4/10/18

Bleeding

Go to job, go to gynaecologist who's not there / will be going on holiday, ring more rude receptionists, fall into the office of a gynaecologists pleading for help, take my pants off, get ultrasound spy dildo inserted up me, bleed all over the doctor. Am told I am pregnant, am told I am not pregnant, am told to go to hospital and go to my insurance. Go to my insurance, get my letter, wander round seemingly abandoned hospital, go home broken.

Oh, ask for help- email my boss / mentor and tell her what’s going on. Email all my clients and cancel all my jobs for the next week.

FRIDAY 5/10/18

Bleeding

Wake up and get a taxi to hospital.

Beg to be seen by someone.

Female gynaecologist sees me this time - take my pants off, get ultrasound spy dildo inserted up me and am roughly routed around in with alarming metal objects and no warning that it will hurt or being asked whether I am in pain. Am told it’s not a baby its a polyp, am scheduled for surgery, spend 2 hours filling in forms, waiting, am given appointment for 9.30am Monday morning and turfed out. Leave, realise I can’t get the note from my doctor (they’re all closed) I need before the weekend, go back, cry at admin assistant, have minor breakdown, am settled and sent away.

Sit shakily on bench in small square by U Bahn on the grounds of the hospital, talk to Moon, go home, tuck myself in and bleed.

My mentor says she’ll come to see me at the hospital, what do I like to eat (I have to stay overnight).

SATURDAY 6/10/18

Bleeding

Move very little, bleed very much, buy some food.

SUNDAY 7/10/18

Bleeding

Much like Saturday but I write and publish my blog.

My mentor asks me what time to come see me.

First wave of friends that read blog get in contact,

“Felice ….. now im sneakily reading your bloody ( literally bloody this time) blog to find out whats actually happening with you. I hope you´re okay!, and if you ever do ask for help I will do my best to help you.”

MONDAY 8/10/18

Bleeding

Get up 6AM, have shower very slowly, am in a lot of pain (its worst in the morning), sit outside my house and wait for Taxi, get taxi, tell the driver I miss free healthcare, he tells me he misses his family in Istanbul. Am deposited outside doctors (to ask for note), wait for 20 mins to get slip of paper and give the receptionist a hug.

Get another uber to Hospital, he leaves me at the gates and I walk to the Frauen Klinik, not sure of where to go I wait at registration then am directed up to my ward and power off with 45 minutes till my surgery, the admin assistant tells me “alles gut”.

Up at station 35, the nurses are friendly, I go to another registration office, back to wait in overcrowded little patient room, fill in a tome of forms in German using the camera on Google Translate to try make sense of them, hand back the forms and slyly observe the small Russian family to my right, the son talks expansively, the mother is softly spread from middle age and fairly tethered to the father, she beckons him to join her but he’s brittle and stands by the window instead, I don’t know what's wrong with her.

30 minutes after my scheduled surgery, 10am, then 45, I am called in to a nurses office where she tell’s me, as if I should know, I’ve been rescheduled for 12:50, she's nice and she tries to speak English, she asks what becomes some kind of pass code,

“Have you eaten on drunk anything today? Do you have any allergies?”

The nurse will take you to your room now, but go back and wait first.

I encounter a gorgeous young elfin nurse and ask if I can go a cigarette on my way to the patient room, where more people are piled in now, she says yes 5 minutes, I promise thats what I’ll do.

Inhale cigarette run back upstairs.

She’s there again, she didn’t know I was scheduled for surgery! Tell them when they take you to your room, just in case.

I stand in the corridor for 20 mins, there is nowhere to sit in the patient room.

A nurse comes and deposits me in my room, it's like places I’ve stayed in generic expansive hotels, a Holiday Inn perhaps, charge my phone, hug my pig because of course I brought him. A nurse enters roughly 30 mins later and tells me to change, its the young elfin nurse, I bundle my things in the cupboard and lock the door, give her the key. Then I change and wait.

In comes another nurse, high cheekbones and a wide smile, I climb into bed but manage to get her to listen to me when I say I’ve had a cigarette, a gasp, she calls down to surgery, a moment where I’m not sure if they’ll operate, but its ok and off we go. I am wheeled to the lift, she touches my shoulder often, she's forgotten all her notes and runs back to the room leaving me lying by the lift, she comes back, still no notes, they’re under my pillow. We continue.

It's like a hospital drama from first person perspective, I’m scared, I’ve never been wheeled around in a bed before, the viewpoint is totally new and robs you of all your independence, I am just a body, unable to move, looking up at the people that flash in and out on my journey down to surgery.

“Have you eaten anything today? Do you have any allergies?” Repeated over and over again, I tell my surgeon I’m not sure sure how much I love Berlin after the last week, I tell the man that doesn’t introduce himself to me and has a strange smile on his face that makes me feel uncomfortable, that I’ve lived here for 6 months, I repeat “No I’ve not eaten anything, No I don’t have any allergies, I’m wheeled next to the operating table, my clothes are removed, a drip is stuck inside me and I’m given a mask, I precariously climb onto the table and then nothing….

I wake up blearily, to be told there was no polyp, its low estrogen, blinking, moments of consciousness, they explain what’s wrong me, or not in this case because they don’t know, there was a lot of blood, I feel like it’s my fault. I ask for the blood clots they’re removed, because I want to see them, but they’re never brought to me.

My nurse takes me back to my room, there’s another woman there now, I’m so frustrated that after an hour or so of sleep I stubbornly dress and go for a smoke, despite the head nurse on the ward saying “if you pass out, I’m not coming down to collect you.”

Then back up, more sleep, my rose quartz angel (mentor, but this is her true form) comes to visit, she brings lilies and salted chocolate, I tell her they didn’t find anything, I am still bleeding, now in my hospital pants rather than my own knickers. She leaves when the nurses bring in dinner, 2 slices of stale bread, 2 slices of plastic cheese, 4 patties of butter, cheese, to be honest I’m not sure. I eat them but am glad I have the chocolate to.

I’m still high on the drugs they’ve given me, I buzz up and down for cigarettes and feel strangely lucid, I text and read the books the rose quartz angel brought me, I try and pretend to myself that it’s all ok now.

My roommate is Russian, she speaks in German or Russian on her phone constantly, but she does not understand English, so we don’t talk. At 21:30 the head nurse administers pain killers and offers to freshen my back “no thanks” then my roommate turns off her light, so I do the same.

But I can’t sleep, so I just toss and turn, 2 hours or so later I wake and patter off to the kitchen to look for food, I’m starving, I find a container of muesli and some milk, I sneakily pour it in a cup alongside a cup of soup, then I craftily return to my room feeling like I’ve subverted the system somehow. The water isn’t hot enough for the cup of soup to melt so there’s fatty globs of it still in the cup, I eat everything anyway, in the dark, then I try to sleep. Another few hours and I manage some shut eye, my body is craving touch from another though, it’s desperately shouting at me.

Good Omens is funny isn’t it?

Eartheater has played and is now probably at some hedonistic afterparty.

TUESDAY 8/10/18

Bleeding

My roommate wakes before me, but I’m half awake, people come in and out (nurses to attend to her requests), she talks on the phone, at 9:00 they wheel in breakfast, 2 slices of stale bread, a piece of plastic cheese and more patties of butter, plus some questionable conserves.

This bread is tough.

A doctor comes in whilst breakfast is still at my side table,

“So you can go whenever you want, we told you what's wrong with you right?”

“When I was high on the drugs you’d given me yes.”

“It’s a hormonal imbalance, you need to go see your gynaecologist so they can give you the IUD.”

“Ok.”

There was no polyp, or alien baby, but I wasn’t conscious so how do I know.

I pack up and exit like a rockstar, but maybe the kind of rockstar your dad becomes at a disco after a few beers rather than Iggy Pop. Before I exit the hospital completely I go see the admin team about my insurance one last time, to ask if I have to call my insurance, because apparently this little hospital holiday will likely cost up to 30k, the woman tells me its ok and I give her a big hug, lilies still in hand, then I dance down to the street, I must still be high on drugs.

i sidestep to the office of the woman I cried at on Friday, because it wasn't her fault so I drew her my lilies to say sorry, she doesn’t have her flowery crocs on today but she's still oddly special and her eyes are crystalline as I run off.

But I’m still bleeding.

I go home on the U Bahn, via the gynaecologists I’ve now crashed into 3 times this week, but my welcome isn’t so warm this time. I need to see the doctor, maybe not today but this week, I hand them my referral note and my operation notes, she goes to talk to him. I get the impression I’m becoming an annoyance now, as if this is all my fault.

“He can see you in 10 days”

“I haven’t stopped bleeding, I need it to be sooner than that.”

She is still kind faced as she ponders this, “ok Thursday morning 8:30?”

“Thats my birthday but yes.”

I finally get home after making some heady announcements via email and facebook that all is right with the world again (drugs still? Who knows).

My rose quartz angel brings me a ton of leafy greens, soups, nuts, tea, yoghurt, chocolate, the care package from heaven and she sits in my little yellow kitchen briefly not drinking her tea.

“So did they take hormonal tests if they think its hormones?

Are you not scared?

I don’t think you should go back to this doctor, I think you need a second opinion and I think he’s a tool, get some more contacts and I’ll do a call round for you tomorrow, see what I can find.”

She had botched surgery before she moved to Berlin, there’s a hole in her mouth now, she called and emailed surgeons all over the world to consult with. She sat opposite a friend of the surgeons, another surgeon, who told her that her investigation could ruin his friends reputation, he didn’t give his opinion.

Doctors are humans to.

After she leaves I’m thrown back in to a land of exasperated worry, I trawl the internet to find more English speaking gynaecologists, I phone the doctor that discharged me, who is not happy to hear from me and through gritted teeth tells me there are no hormone tests, any medical professional would just know that it was an imbalance.

I go to bed worried, the bleeding is getting heavier again.

WEDNESDAY 10/10/18

Bleeding

After a very goog nights rest I receive a call from my rose quartz angel, shes got me an appointment way out at templehof in 2 hours. I dress and get ready slowly, all the connections are seamless, I feel like my angel is with me, I get to the doctors in good time.

Walking through the leafy grounds of the hospital with crisp autumn sun shimmering through the leaves that are a spectrum of warm colours. Not in a panic because my rose quartz angel has sent me a map as well. I walk in exactly on time, have a little tussle with the receptionist about my insurance card, am seated, wait on a white wicker chair reading Alan Watts. The waiting room is airy and feminine, the staff wear pink t-shirts and German pop echoes out from the speaker just to my right above me, I pour myself water and have a little cup of tea.

When my doctor comes out I look at her for 5 minutes before registering she's asking for my name.

Then I repeat my bloody tale of woe to her.

She doesn’t want to just bung me up with an IUD, it will cost me 300euros to do so (or there around) and it won’t solve the problem. She wants to have a look in my uterus as well, so I climb on to her chair and have the spy dildo inserted up me for the 3rd time in the last 7 days, but shes gentle, she tells me it might hurt and to let her know if I’m in pain.

“Well they did a good job of cleaning you out at least because there’s nothing in there now.”

Clothes back on, my ovaries look fine, she’s going to check with her senior doctor to see what he thinks.

I’m back in the waiting room, then in her office.

“So, pills to clot the blood and stop you bleeding. You don’t have to go on the pill, what do you think?”

“I think I want to cover all my bases.”

“Great, me to. Once the bleeding has stopped call us, then we can do a smear test and try to find out whats going on.”

I walk out to a really beautiful autumn day, the kind that framed your first weeks back at school or college, when everything was so fresh and exciting. Whilst I wait for my pills I have coffee and cake at a small cafe that serves the passion cake my mum makes, its the only place I’ve ever found that does so and I’ll be back there again next week.

THURSDAY 11/10/18

Bleeding (getting less)

It’s my birthday.

The bear messages me that the doctor agree’s he's showing symptoms of chlamydia, he's been given antibiotics and I should go ASAP (but no test results as of yet).

“I’ll talk to my gyno next week, its my birthday today and I’m sick of clinics and hospitals this week.”

STI tests are not covered on my insurance.

Ok, no more days need to be charted now, the bleeding is nearly stopped I’ll be back to leafy Templehof at the earliest convenient time next week.

If it is an STI after all this let me just quickly cite what would of happened had I been in the UK with the NHS:

I would of gone to the sex health centre at Homerton Hospital, the same time I went to the emergency doctors on my first visit, around 3 months ago. But I would have had the whole spectrum of tests, rather than just doing 3, because I couldn’t afford the chlamydia test and it would cost 300euro if it came back positive anyway.

A week later I would of received an automated message telling me if I had chlamydia, I would of gone to collect my antibiotics and nothing more would of come of this.

It would of cost the NHS at least a 10th of what its costing my health insurance provider in Germany, because it would of been solved, no carousel of ultrasound spy dildos. No being wheeled down to surgery.

I’m not saying it is Chlamydia, it could be hormones, it could be cancer (but lets brush that one aside), but if it is Chlamydia then this glaring discrepancy of costs and stress is almost mind boggling, all because I would of had access to free testing and treatment.

Anyway I’m done for now, though will update again next week, hopefully in less detail as I’m hoping now I have a diligent and thoughtful doctor I’ll be able to start getting better, and as I say the bleeding has nearly stopped.

My birthday was fantastic, I got to lie on the floor of Saal 1 at Funkhaus and let sound wash over me, bless the folk at Monom, I’m off to Treptower now to see friends I haven’t seen in a while then to a dance studio I’m renting, to sing my heart out in peace. It’s another beautiful day and I’m really looking forward to seeing these friends, I’ve missed them.

But just before I round out this tale of madness for now, I want to say that during the course of the week so many people have been in touch from Berlin and from home to offer support and anything else they can do, it’s really a beautiful thing, there are so many fantastic people in this world and I’m so grateful, thank you. I put all my dirty laundry on display, I don’t really know why, but I get so much from doing it and I don’t think I’ll be stopping anytime soon.

Happy Sunday all.

[21yroldmeesh]

back again 7/20/17

iit’s been a year since i have written in this blog and dang it’s kind of heartbreaking to read the “ty” post. i mean ima just be open cause i’m sure as hell people don’t even know about this blog anymore L O L i have 0 followers L O L 

things on the agenda: dan, guy who drove me to va, my first and last hookup

me and dan actually broke up over a month ago (6/16/17... i have a particular thing for dates) and it’s been a weird experience.  i literally thought we were going to get married. you can talk to someone for 5 yrs almost everyday and it only takes a day to become strangers. actually you can get close to a stranger. we’re worse than strangers. with us, it’s best to spend some time apart because if we start talking, we don’t even know what we want from each other. like, we actually have such good chemistry but too much has happened too much pain too many lies. it’s one big clusterfuck. i don’t normally curse but i’m going to curse a lot in this post future michelle. i was willing to live in the boring ass town of ann arbor, michigan and i would have been perfectly happy for simply just being with you and being loved by you. i had so much love for you. your fungus feet, your crackly white tongue, you never brush your teeth, everything weird dumb annoying about you just stopped being that and it was “normal” anyways,

i decided to write again because for the past week, my mind has been all over the place and i think my friends are getting annoyed of hearing me out so here i am.

that night, i tried convincing him that id be able to forget about all that he has done. i was crying. i thought it was so fucking unfair man. whenever he lied to me and i’d try to break up with him, he always held on to me and i am a push over... i gave in every time. that day, we fought and yes, i said let’s break up but i told him i didn’t mean it. and then he just brought up how even though i didn’t mean it, everything i said was right and that we arent good for each other. he kept saying this was for us. we didn’t make each other happy. bull shit. i made u so happy. u were only “not happy” when i wanted u to be mature. i mean this is a memory i want to erase from my head so im not going to go into it. but i just felt so hopeless like you just tied up my arms and i couldnt do anything. i asked you to let me hold on to you ONE time because i let you do that with me. and you just wouldn’t budge. do u know how that made me feel? i felt like everything was my fault. if i didnt bring up anything, we would have still been together. we were doing amazing. you opened up to me for the first time literally the day before we broke up and damn everything just happened so fast. you made me feel like i was the type of person who didn’t let myself be happy.

well, the first night i was completely miserable and suicidal. i don’t even know how i survived but i did. for the first two weeks i cried my damn heart out. i let myself feel pain. i didn’t touch alcohol at all until i knew i was ready to not emotional vomit while drunk. i went in my car, blasted music as loud as i can, sobbed for thirty minutes until i was exhausted and came back home. once you hit rock bottom, you got to come up right? i couldnt be alone. i was always with friends. what the fuck was the MCAT right (ugh) i did this multiple times and i think by the third week, i was feeling pretty good and realized you and i weren’t good for each other. actually, correction, we weren’t good for each other because you weren’t willing to be. i guess i just wasn’t worth it to you anymore. well, correction, i didn’t give necessarily my all either. breakups are never on one person. you just lied to me way too much and i just couldn’t trust you 100%. i said i forgave u but i never really did, did i ? what is relationship without trust. it’s surprising how we even lasted this long. well, its because of our chemistry. whyd you have to go fuck it up dan. you and i had such a good connection LOL maybe u can have that connection with others but im just picky af LOL

actually, i haven’t thought about you dan for a very long time. i sound pretty hung up on you still up there but i’m not. something just happened recently which i will go into later 

but actually i have not thought about you at all. its funny because ive been telling haram “who the fuck is daniel am i rite” hahaha its been fine for me. ill be sad but now i can be alone and just deal with it. im doing really well. when i was dating you, for some crazy reason, i thought i couldn’t be without you. why the hell did i think that? like i went through my darkest times without you and survived every single bit of it. why did i ever think i ever NEEDED u in my life? i havent felt depressed since we broke up. isn’t that the craziest? i never have suicidal urges like i did while dating you. im never sad for too long. im just doing me. being with friends. being with awesome people. meeting new people. and yeah i miss you, but damn i think the emotional roller coaster and the clusterfuck of lies (like you telling susan in MAY THAT U LOVE HER?!!?!?!) just made me like dumb and made me believe i just couldn’t let u go. love is insane. and i am insane. michelle in love. there is no logic in it whatsoever. i’m just the type of person to just give it all she got u know? fucking cheat on me, i’ll be here. fucking take my money, i’ll be here. i think id peace the fuck out for animal abuse doe. but anything else is pretty much game.

but yeah i am no longer that person. i am so special and cool to deal with that LOL im actually not a bad catch. i realized i am going to run far far away from someone who lies to me. it’s just not worth it. i love you. i loved you but damn i just kind of miss u as a best friend. nothing romantic anymore. i just miss talking to u and talking shit with u but you can beg for me back, and it is a huge no from me. also i really respect u stepping up with coco while im not in ann arbor. ur just a bad boyfriend. i always knew that tho and i still went in for it. none of that anymore LOL fck that for real. like i wanna be friends with u just so we can hang out. im not the same person anymore LOL and i just think we would really get along now LOL 

when u said you couldn’t give me a ride i was upset but not really? i just understood. it wouldn’t have been good for us and last week, i don’t think i was ready to be in a car ride with u for that long even when i thought i was. looking back, i think it would have set me back a lot. thanks for making the best decision for us. you were always able to do that, i cant hahaha

but yeah anyways, this guy who i talked to for three days kind of offered to give me a ride. correction, we talked for two and then like he just decided to do that for me. very impulsive but i mean i get it, so am i

as we were talking, i realized we were way too similar to even have any romantic attraction. like, i know he did because i think he saw that as a good thing. but everyone else and me later on, realized, similarity for michelle kim is not the best. she needs excitement, passion, and just someone different for her fire. we were similar so we could have been good friends but i think i realized we couldn’t be more than that when he just started coming off too strong. idk, five days in of talking, he was just telling me don’t fool around with other guys and just like telling me to enjoy my single time while i can and it was very overwhelming. not to mention he dated a girl who actually became pretty closely to me recently and i actually really dig her so that was just a final like nope cause it wasnt worth it at that point. 

so i get to ny and im having all these realizations about the guy who drove me to va while im out with my friends. as im getting all these “boyfriendy” texts im like nope nope nope nd telling my friends i think i have 0 feelings for this guy now. 

next thing you know, my first and last hookup walks over to my friend asks her to smoke and he tells her he thinks im cute. i mean i didnt even know until like round 3 or even until he told me the next day. but yeah we just made quick eye contact and that was it. he joins us for round 2 and dang he is hot as fuck LOOL ok well maybe its cause i literally haven’t seen a guy that hot in a while. L O L like i always liked skinny tall guys. but he was like tall and fit?? like wtf?? LOL it just took me off guard and he was showing interest and i was just suuuuuupppppper drunk so we just went home to my airbnb. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I MADE OUT it was so crazy. like i dont think he believes me because he knew i wasnt a virgin but then i told him i never made out before so he was like so confused but didnt ask me questions cause i guess he just thought i was lying?? idk man. but ya we didn’t do anything except make out and when it got hot and heavy i was just like yo u want pjs and then told him lets just go to bed

l o l 

and hes like a super big gentleman 

he kind of didnt want to leave cause hed say stuff like ill leave when u go out. ill leave when u tell me to leave and i was like “ok u should leave now” and idk how but he just kind of stayed

and then he ordered food and idk we talked about his mom and my mom and we played this dumbass creepy game that we literally made up called black mirror black mirror idk man it was super fun and he even pretended like gdragon, hes a complete clown and i love clowns LOL but yeah he left and i went with my day, saw jane and joohee, came home and he texts me. hes like aksing to hang out and im like yeah if we dont get white girl wasted. 

we meet at one of my fave places beauty and essex. it was awk at first because i did not expect it to be like a bar bar since i came during dinner time last time. but we ended up having a lot of fun and it was good. we tried going to fat buddha but line was too long and one thing led to another, he came over my house and we just kind of made out and i d k what happened but i was suppppppppppper drunk LOL like more drunk than last night that i was dropping my phone in the uber and i was a mess but we ended up having “sex” it was just super fast and weird man. he just felt so diff from dan so i felt really out of it but the other guy finished and i think alc was also hindering his performance and it was just a clusterfuck. we just ended up going to bed. next morning, i know he got into super big trouble with his mom and i felt really bad about that. and then he left. i went to va. he texted me saying have a safe trip and that it was a super fun weekend and yeah that was that. 

im starting to realize i fucking like this guy LOL i mean i prob dont but i thought and think i do u know. im just not the type to do this and i feel like he got the worst image of me LOOL yeah my friends were like michelle ur not the type of person to just have one night stands cause one ima fall in love with them and two ur just not the type

idk i just lost myself from being in nyc

nyc is like the root of all probs 

love that place but still crazy

and ya i think hes kind of cute but i also know hes not really down since im in mich and all so ya ohwellz we’re only 21

[cicelyrenee]

Beautiful people,

You may not know this about me, but I absolutely love art and black ballerinas. I remember as a child trying to dance in my bedroom after only one afterschool dance class and realized I did not have the talent! So I fell for the next best thing, loving black ballerinas.

I visited my aunt Julie’s home one day and she had this amazing picture of a simple sketch, it was a ballerina, it had no color but I truly believed she was black. I begged for that photo for years, and then one day she gave it to me. I had it posted on my wall in my room and it brought me so much peace, you know the peace when you watch a ballerina twirl, stretch and fly across the floor with such grace and beauty? Yes, that peace. Then one day, when I was living in Miami, during the recession, we lost our home and so many things that were in it and the painting was one of them.

Fast forward to about 8 years, this influx of black ballerina appreciation grew and Misty Copeland and the Alvin Ailey Dance Company plus many more names were the ones that reminded me of my love for black ballerinas. I would post on facebook, every time I saw a photo of a black ballerina or dancer and caption it, “I love Black Ballerinas!”

About four months ago, I was hired to cover an event and to blog about it. It was a paint and sip event from Buzzed Art Nite and the painting was a black ballerina/dancer. I WANTED IT. Literally, I asked to pay for it and everything. But due to some things, I couldn’t have that specific one. I found out who painted that specific one and had to have a little chat.

Josh Painted this based on the well-known artist Annie F. Lee. This was the painting for their fundraiser event.

He let me know that he would paint me my own black ballerina and I was too excited. I didn’t give him any details, I wanted it to be his creation because I could see this amazing talent and I am just like everyone needs to have an art piece by Josh Clay in their homes! Thus, the blog feature! My aunt Julie and I named her Bella-Grace

      Interview with Josh Clay

Tell me about who you are, where you are from, hobbies, passions, favorites etc.

I am from a Louisianan bred, Southern man/child of the earth, moved from New Orleans to LaPlace where I went to middle and high school. I played football for most of my life but always loved drawing and art, along with math and science. I am but would like to be more involved with physical fitness, I love to work out and believe deeply in self-improvement in mind, body, and soul.

When did you realize you had talent and how did you and your family go about cultivating your talent?

I realized my talent or my strong interest in art when I was in middle school and would find myself content with being alone in my room and just drawing, trying to replicate Dragon ball Z animation style, a little nerdy. As far as cultivating and developing in that area, my family never restricted it but never promoted it. I was constantly told that I should keep it more as a hobby and find something that will make a living but as of lately, seeing that it’s an area I want to deeply and whole-heartedly pursue, they are encouraging and, I feel, anxious to see what produces.

What is your favorite piece or performance? Why?

My favorite piece, I’d have to say, is the ballerina painting I did for Cicely Carr, not to sound cliché. The reason is because, for the longest, I’ve had a crippling reluctance into delving into color, especially selling. I’ve never seen myself on the business side of this field and to have even that success and opportunity was beyond words honestly.

Where do you get the most inspiration for your work?

A lot of my inspiration comes from music, dreams, personal emotion and working to depict it on canvas, observing and appreciating the beauty in the world, nature because in the era of development and technology, I feel it’s easy to take the nature, timeless beauty of earth for granted, poetry, run-on sentences lol. I try to draw inspiration from multiple sources to see where it pushes my creativity and broadens my perspective.

Have you taken any classes to perfect your skills and talents? Why or why not?

I went to college for graphic design and was fortunate enough to take a few art classes before I ran into some scheduling complications and FAFSA tom-foolery but at that time I was able to develop my skills through critique and exposure through different mediums. It definitely helped me to evolve and realize a passion.

What advice would you give someone who is new to your area if talent?

I would advise them that this is your life and whatever may come, no matter how difficult, be happy because you deserve it and you owe it to yourself. Time is our most precious asset and this world and people are filled with beauty and inspiration. Humility and pride will open so many doors for you, pride is not arrogance. Be true to yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself. There is a lot more but I’m still learning more lessons every day.

Are there some difficulties in what you do? Care to share?

Difficulties I have is now that I am more established and have an apartment and bills and etc. I am not able to completely take advantage of creative sparks throughout the day and many times after of work, I’m either mentally drained or just not as inspired. It’s definitely some missed opportunities throughout the day but them bills gotsta be paid.

What new skill or technique would you love to learn and why?

There is so much I would love to learn from mixed media, watercolor, everything…literally, everything I can. I want to get better at creating more realistic faces and animals, mythical or realism. Graphic design, I have yet to even touch that area but I am excited about the challenge.

Anything else you would like to share, nuggets of wisdom, stories, memories etc.

I was talking with a friend of mine who’s about to make a pretty drastic life change, for the better, because complacency without satisfaction is a curse and reluctance is every present. We spoke on why she was afraid to take that step and just her mindset, trying to let her see that her step was the right on. During the conversation, I told her that fear is going to be a thing she will have to deal with and to use it to her advantage. Your own personal fear will tell you to do a few things, either you stay or you move. I told her “Instead of staying out of fear, to move out of fear because once you move, what can fear tell you”. She said “Nothing”, I replied, “Wrong, fear will tell you to move faster and to keep moving because once you get a taste of happiness and experience success in whatever your endeavor is, it’s the fear of losing it that will help drive you.” To me, embracing these powerful emotions; fear, sadness, joy, desire, are bountiful sources of potential inspiration and motivation to take next steps in our art and in life. I think that’s it, my attempt at trying to be deep

  Interested in purchasing prints of Bella-Grace, email us at info@bougieblackblogger.com to be the first to know when they are available. LIMITED Quantities!

For inquiries, please email Josh at captainjclay@gmail.com

Name: Joshua Clay aka Mr. Heatmeister aka J-Rite

Location: Dallas, TX

Website: Coming soon

Art Genre: Drawing, Painting, Illustrations, Tattoo Designs, and soon to be, Tattoo

Social Media Info: Facebook/josh.clay.547; Instagram: joshu_a_claythei & jc_designs1989

Some more of Josh Clay’s artwork

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  Josh Clay, Talented Artist, EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW HIS NAME Beautiful people, You may not know this about me, but I absolutely love art and black ballerinas.