#perplexingluciddreams

[quivviae]

Ezra finally here

Always makes me think @perplexingluciddreams lmao

Might try get him if m can within 19 days..

[perplexingluciddreams]

Hi! I just wanted to say I love love your username!

Thank you so so much! Truthfully, I love my own username too 🥰

I am actually so excited to get this ask, because it is a great opportunity to explain the meaning behind it! It is a way that I came up with of describing how I experience the real world, every day.

Perplexing: because most things are utterly confusing and chaotic and nonsensical to me. Especially the behaviour and actions of other people around me.

Lucid Dreams: because I am in my own world, inside my head, in my bubble, and the "real world" seems to me to be just not quite real. Or perhaps not quite right. Too vivid and intense in some ways, too bleak and pale and grey in others. So it can feel like awake-dreaming, or a lucid dream! I also think in a way that connects memories and past experiences to everything I experience in the present, and my internal thoughts are so much "louder" and more present in my awareness than my physical surroundings, so I am always mentally skipping through time.

(ALSO, I just really wanted to use the word "perplexing" 😆! And I love that "perplexing" and "lucid" are semi-antonyms).

[clownrecess]

I has related question: do you know and if so are you willing to educate me on the difference between nonspeaking, nonverbal, and mute? and the respective "selective" variants of the three?

Nonverbal and nonspeaking have two different interpretations. Some people think of them as meaning the same thing, and others don't. I see both sides but personally do not like being called nonverbal very much because of this reason.

Nonverbal/nonspeaking are not umbrella terms, despite so many using it as such. Nonspeaking and nonverbal means always mute. It is not a word that can be used to describe a temporary experience. It is a word to describe the permanent or very long lasting state of a person.

Mute just simply means someone who cannot speak. Selectively mute means someone who is not fully mute, but goes mute in certain environments. I think it is important to note that the "selective" part of selectively mute does not mean "selects/chooses to be mute". It means goes mute in select situations. Some selectively mute people prefer "situational mutism" for this reason, to try and prevent that misunderstanding.

Semiverbal/semispeaking is also a permanent state, as nonverbal/nonspeaking is. Semiverbal/semispeaking is a term for a permanent state in which someone has an extremely difficult or restricted ability to use oral speech, and sometimes fully looses it.

Unreliably speaking is a term for people with apraxia, to describe their mouths not saying the words they want them to say. @perplexingluciddreams has explained the term in more detail though.

(tw! this next section has a mention of meltdowns)

Intermittently speaking is (I believe) a term to describe people who are primarily speaking but loose oral speech under severe stress like a meltdown.

[cherrywbb-art]

saw responses to comment about ice bear experience autism regression and want point toward more resource!

birdofmay, gwydion-aacblog, zebulontheplanet, nonspeakingkiku, five-thousand-loaves-of-bread all nonverbal/semiverbal resources that talk about experiences

p1xelp1c, perplexingluciddreams, bear-owo talk about autism/disability regression and experiences with

and lux experience with is

-verbality suffer much. most times brain thoughts is bits pieces of words, songs/sounds hear, colors, or images, so is much harder communicate, but picture base aac help.

-struggle with body signals more. need more prompt eat drink water shower go to bathroom take care of self.

-struggle with tasks more. shower tire out more, need help do laundry, make bed even worse.

-coordination hand strength get worse so struggle open things press buttons drink without straw carry food walk straight

hope this help!!

IT HELPS ALOT! 🌼

Thanks for the info, I gonna seperate a time to search and understand more, but for now I thank you for your help and time to explain to me! :]

[writerbeemedina]

October is a time to acknowledge many different things. One of those things is AAC Awareness Month!!

• AAC stands for Augmentative and Alternative Communication.

• AAC is any form of communication other than spoken words. This can take the form of a speech application on a device; the use of photographs or symbols; writing; drawing; sign language; etc.

• People who are mute, or find physical speech taxing or painful such as autistic people may depend on these alternative forms of communication. And that’s neat! 📱📖📝🤟

Above is my girl Cassandra, who will be a protagonist in a romantic short story collection I’ve been working on. She loves fantasy novels, true crime, and romance! 📚🔪💕More to come about her soon! I can’t wait for you to meet her when the WIP is ready!!

Special thanks to @perplexingluciddreams for helping bring her to life!!

[quivviae]

“the future is not a good thing to do with this thing and I don’t know what if it is the same thing I know it’s not a good thing “

@birdofmay

I want to start a game because I got inspired by another post.

Write "The future is" and let autocorrect finish the sentence.

I got "The future is here and there is no need to get a new one."

I don't know if that's a good thing or not...

[quivviae]

@perplexingluciddreams Ezra Character n the game m play, 6 star (rarest kind of character, 3 star - 6 star). The Afflatus (kind of like “Element”) s also Star seen n second image . His attacks do Mental Damage (the alternative s Reality Damage)

Not released until May 9th… thought would be today, guess must wait mmhm

Unfortunately m haven’t been able do any the story n the whole game, m only do the battles, someday will definitely do tho

[thatgaysh1t]

I was tagged by @goofy-from-mcdonalds

Rules: rules: tag 9 people you want to know better / catch up with and then answer these questions

(no I will not be tagging 9 people, take it up with my lawyer)

Last song: The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience, wish I could tell you why

Last movie: After, that one I can explain

Currently watching: Derry girls, for emotional support

Currently reading: The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James, would recommend

Currently craving: Salted caramel chocolate brownie, which I had intended to bake but ran out of time

Tagging: @perplexingluciddreams @perplexingluciddreams

Anyone basically can feel free to respond or do this themselves it’s just a bit of fun 🙃

[birdofmay]

I'm nonverbal and I don't like it when speaking people say nonverbal/nonspeaking to describe themselves.

Reblog if you're nonverbal/nonspeaking or minimally speaking and don't like it when speaking people say nonverbal/nonspeaking to describe themselves.

I want to show that it's a majority thing.

Tagging the first people I can think of to show them this post:

@perplexingluciddreams @five-thousand-loaves-of-bread @plural-autism @lunabrainbad @gwydion-aacblog

To speaking people: Keep in mind that many nonspeaking people aren't on any social media, so even 10 reblogs are a lot - we are a minority on here.

[perplexingluciddreams]

warning : blog changes coming !!

this is still perplexingluciddreams , same person! just different icon, different blog colours.

still Ezra :D

[perplexingluciddreams]

So, I have spent most of today creating new Google and Microsoft accounts, because I want everything to be my own now that I'm 18. And also because my new communication device is Windows, so I want to have it set up by then.

I have hit a few bumps along the way, such as my phone number not allowing me to send or receive text messages (which made the "text verification" process very difficult in creating a new Google account - I had to use my Dad's number, and I will change that later once I have my new SIM card that has been ordered).

Also, YouTube doesn't allow you to change email or Google account. You must create a whole new account.

So this is a heads up for anyone subscribed to me - my new account is linked at the bottom of this post and the two videos I have made so far will be posted shortly.

I'm not deleting my current account just yet, I have some playlists to re-make on my new account (special interest playlists that would cause a very bad meltdown if I lost). And I will have to manually subscribe to all of the channels I follow already.

I will also transfer the videos before I delete the previous account, so they will never be unavailable.

It is a shame I have to do this but once I do it, it'll all be sorted and I won't have to change it again.

https://youtube.com/@perplexingluciddreams

^I know this shows up with a link to my Tumblr because of the shared username - instead of tapping you have to hold down and select "copy" (on Android). I think on iOS, you can just highlight the text and copy.

At least I now have the same username on all my social media! I like that it's all uniform.

[perplexingluciddreams]

similar struggles with discord but still like the sense of “community” maybe 🤔 that it can give

what is your discord ?

yes, think community is nice and people is all nice. but feel like only watch from outside (although feel this whole life for every situation, because trapped in head).

username is same - perplexingluciddreams

if you need the numbers, it is - perplexingluciddreams#5451

don't understand discord much, don't use much and have notifications off. might not answer immediate, might not know how to do things. (just information for if anyone interact there !)

[quivviae]

@perplexingluciddreams finally trying rewatch Wednesday , on first episode

[perplexingluciddreams]

Welcome to my blog!

My name is Ezra but everyone calls me Ez :)

‼️‼️ this post is in process of edits!! some things in this needs change to get meaning across better. language issues means i "borrow words" to try express things, but often don't understand the words i borrow. so i end up saying things i don't mean. this applies to whole blog - i am in process of doing a clear out currently. ‼️‼️

Most important stuff:

‼️ I have a lot of trouble with language. Have both receptive and expressive language delays. May word things poorly, may misunderstand/not understand things. Have social problems and struggle with interaction.

My writing on the internet is not indicative of my overall level of communication.

Please be patient with me!

Some facts about me:

🧩🌈 I have autism

💬 I am (fully) nonverbal

📱I am a full time AAC user (Grid 3 - Supercore 50)

♿️ I have other physical disabilities (severe ME/CFS, hypotonia, FND, suspected autistic catatonia)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 My parents are my carers

🏳️‍⚧️ I am transsexual

Diagnosed with autism age 15. However, my autism was recognised by teachers and likely other adults at much younger age. Visibly autistic.

Fully nonverbal due to regression. Was semiverbal growing up (with unreliable speech- apraxia definition).

Not diagnosed with autism level because live in UK. Don't know what level or support needs I am considered, but need help with most bADLs and can't do any iADLs. Have continued (late) regression, still losing more skills.

I have restricted interests so only follow small amount of people and have a lot of tags blocked. If we interact regular basis, I consider same level as mutual! Just because don't follow, don't mean not like!

I try to tag things, but I get categories confused and sometimes it is a bit of a mess! Sorry, I try 🤷🏻‍♂️

Tagging system:

Personal tags:

#words from my head = Rambling, lighthearted, or short posts. Sometimes posts about my day-to-day life. Not serious topics or anything I spend a lot of time to write and edit.

#fragments of an idea = Rambling and disjointed posts, long or short, about any topics. Often have no flow and jump from one thing to the next. Usually just a first attempt at getting words out for one or more things, then there may be a more "put together" post in future.

#from the chaos of my mind = Complex, long, serious posts, with effort put into writing and editing them.

#ezra talk aac = any posts I write partly or fully with AAC, or about my personal AAC device/software. (AAC = Augmentative and Alternative Communication)

#snapshots of my life = My own pictures I take, some will have me/my face in them, some are just of things I do that I want to share.

#borrowing words = When I reblog something and relate, or the words match up with something I want to say, I am “borrowing words”.

#ezra watch = Posts about or relating to media I watch.

#ezra reads = Posts about things I read.

#ezra sews = Sewing and mending.

#ezra puzzles = Jigsaw puzzles.

#ill never get any sleep at this rate = Ongoing saga of posts, either about insomnia, or posted at a time when I really should be sleeping…

#reblog = Self explanatory, any reblogs.

#self reblog = When I reblog my own post with an addition. (If someone reblogs my post and then I reblog again to reply/add on, it will be tagged with both “reblog” and “self reblog”.)

#🍋 anon = Friend who sends asks :D

Other things I always tag:

#ask

#anon ask

#swearing

#long post

#very long post

#image

#gif

#video

#link

#described

#undescribed

#flash warning

My interests (some special interest, some short-term fixation):

Moomin

Sewing! (especially visible mending)

jigsaw puzzles 🧩

BBC Merlin

Buffy the Vampire Slayer + Angel: The Series (/Buffyverse)

Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Person of Interest (especially Root and Shaw)

Music (used to play clarinet, most important to me ever. But love all kinds music, especially right now metal!)

Languages (trying learning Swedish. Struggle but enjoy slow learning!)

Here is a post where I explain my journey with communication throughout my life:

Here is a post where I write about my experience with gender as a nonverbal autistic:

[quivviae]

some people (obligatory mention @birdofmay @perplexingluciddreams since that’s where my memory remembered reading this) have brought up the metaphor of a “jigsaw puzzle 🧩 “ to explain language struggles with putting thoughts into words and communication

which made me wonder, does that mean when communicating online to a separate person , we are attempting to combine different puzzle sets together?

are we just mashing puzzle pieces from different boxes together

[thatgaysh1t]

Tagged: @goofy-from-mcdonalds

Tag: @non-binary-pieceofshit @perplexingluciddreams @caitlin12304