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pizzaapeteer · 1 year ago

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Just a game of chess

Another though late entry for @thatdammchickennugget's hogmarch challenge. Week 3 -using the theme Wizard's Chess. Enjoy a little play on the game with a steamy best friend Blaise fic. Got a bit carried away in my first Blaise fic, 4.7 k

Warnings: MDNI, nsfw, female reader, female orgasm, semi-public sex, thigh riding, slight degrading, dirty talk, language, little bit of brat taming, the use of sunshine as a nickname

An: Also, a big thanks to @slytherinslut0 for proof reading, as well as @jayybugg for hyping me up and just taking the time to answer all my questions ✨ pretty divider found here ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚

“Ooh, let's open up my mystery box. I’ve been needing a night for it!” You're already scrambling up from your spot, running towards his dorm to grab the gift buried in your bag. Blaise sighs, leaning back against the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose. Not that he didn’t love you and your antics, but you had a knack for buying random things. The outcomes often end in disaster, leaving Blaise to tidy up the mess.

The pair of you had been chatting away, keeping one another company in the dimly lit Slytherin common room. The area left unoccupied, the two of you still up at an unreasonable hour, with just the sounds of fire crackling, the whistles of wind blowing on the paned glass. It wasn’t an unusual sight to be up so late. Blaise was one of your closest friends and you spent most of your time talking his head off into the early hours.

The perplexity of how your friendship worked, often questioned by outsiders, the constant sighing that followed you as Blaise tolerated your ridiculous exultant optimism and friendliness. He was used to it by now, and even his other friends admired the way he could remain patient, having a calm composure. You two were good for each other. The combination of your bubbly energy and his serene demeanor worked together like the lulling of the lake, putting a grindylow to sleep.

He leans forward, resting his hands on his knees as you return carrying a mundane looking box. Despite thinking about the aftermath of what was to come, his curiosity peaked, watching as you sat yourself on the floor across from him. He sat in silence as you unravelled the packaging to reveal plain old Wizard's chess, a disappointed frown appearing on your face. Chuckling with his brows raised, he coughs a smirk, “Oh boy Wizards' chess, that’s damn mysterious.”

Your eyes meet his, a deep frown moulding on your face as he teased you, “Oh, come on, was I just bamboozled? Scammed!”

Your expression makes him laugh before he rolls his eyes at your reaction. Dragging the box closer for inspection, he scoots to the edge of his seat. “Seems it, Sunshine.” He gives you a soft smile, trying to lift your mood, “Let’s play, anyway. I won't go too hard on you this time.” His smile broadens cheekily, remembering the fit you threw when you lost last time.

You roll your eyes but nod in agreement, taking the game out of the box to set up. As you unpack the game, you note everything is displayed exactly like normal Wizards' chess, making your frown deepen. You try to disguise your extended disappointment, not wanting Blaise to lecture you about knowing better than buying mystery gifts.

“Let me start.” You spin the board to have the white checkerboard closest to you. Looking over at him, you watch his brows raise at your attitude, stifling a giggle, you counteract by giving him your cutest grin, adding, “Please?”

He sighs, amused but in defeat, rolling his eyes and giving you a playful nod. “Sure sunshine, take all the extra help you need.”

The game begins as usual, with white going first. You take your first course of action and then lean your arms on the coffee table, attempting to throw Blaise off with your oh-so menacing stare. Strategy was one of his strengths, and he had worked up a rather good one thanks to how often he challenged Draco at Wizard’s chess. Applied with his overall exponential intelligence made versing him an often difficult battle for you.

You, on the other hand, had always struggled to apply any sort of strategic logic towards games, finding yourself distracted or bored. Though Blaise used this to his advantage, he found it a little boring whenever he challenged you. Not to mention the fit you threw when you lost, despite not paying attention, leaving you sulking while Blaise adds another win to his belt.

But tonight, as the clock struck 2 am, determination pushed you to actually pay attention to Blaise's moves. Holding your stare, your eyes following his move, still awaiting in anticipation for the game to surprise you and reveal its true secret.

It was at the move of Blaise’s knight that your eyes widened, taking in the sight unfolding. The knight shifted to the area Blaise had commanded it to before it stood on the horse, bending down to throw its shoes off as they levitated up in the air. The miniature pair of boots spun above the knight, glowing as the figurine turned to look at you.

A whirlwind of emotions hits you, primarily a contrast of amusement and shock, as you look up at Blaise, brows raised. His dark brown eyes met yours, his own veil of surprise shadowing his expression as he cocks an eyebrow at you. “Where’d you say you got this from again?”

At his question, heat rises to your cheeks, the realisation hitting you hard. You should have seen it coming with who the inventors of the game were. Smiling sheepishly, “Oh the Weasley's.” The little knight crosses their arms and “hmph” looking up at you, making you blush. “Oh, right, sorry." Peering at Blaise, your tone holds uncertainty. “Guess we have to abide to keep playing.”

Blaise’s expression doesn’t change as he takes in the new information, running his tongue along the underside of his teeth pondering what to do. This was a clear opportunity to push your relationship to something more, something he’d been waiting for. A challenging smirk curves onto his face, his eyes holding a glimmer of mischief as he nods his head towards you, “Go on Sunshine. We’re not quitting now. Can’t have you being a sore loser this early on.”

The crackle of fire pops in the distance, sparks igniting as the flames roared, spreading warmth into the cold common room. Rolling your eyes at his remark, discarding your shoes, a daring awareness seeping into your mind. To continue the game would mean to cross the line of your friendship. Your turn awaits and hesitation halts you, taking in how unfazed Blaise looks, making you question if you are overthinking it all. It’s just a playful game between friends. It's not like you hadn’t seen him in his underwear before.

Directing your bishop to its next position, memories blur your mind of Blaise in his underwear, a red hue spreading across your cheeks. Though the possibility of seeing him like that again awakens something you thought you’d buried long ago. Months' worth of emotions, a surge of strong feelings, bubble up, exploding a flood of heat within you. You rearrange your sitting position in an attempt to subtly squeeze your legs together, watching as Blaise makes his counter move.

The game progresses and while your attention is immersive on Blaise’s plays, that doesn’t seem to have helped with more of your own clothes having been removed. You couldn’t help feeling like a sore loser already, the latest piece of your attire being ridden as Blaise’s queen takes your rook. Your patience and vulnerability unravelling as you sit in just your lingerie.

Your frustration grew, noting Blaise’s unbudged expression, not revealing any hints of what he was thinking. He’d always been exceptionally good at concealing his true emotions, a trait Theo and him shared.

While you had seen Blaise in his undergarments, he’d never seen you so exposed before. His jaw clenches as his eyes assimilate the curves of your body, the softness of your skin under the warmth and glow of the fire. The flush of your rosy cheeks, and the lulling of your gentle breaths making your chest rise and fall.

Feeling his blood flow down pumping agonising as his trousers tighten. He struggled to keep his mind focused on the game, his mind wandering, distracted by thoughts of you. Though he kept his composure for your sake, you were his friend, and he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

The snapping of your fingers breaks his attention and he clears his throat, turning his attention to study the board. His eyes are drawn to the now glowing miniature of your knight waving his little pants in the air, awaiting Blaise’s compliance. Blaise’s brows raise, a small smile appearing, feeling impressed by your sudden attack at seizing his bishop. “Atta girl, well played sunshine.”

His eyes flicker between yours, studying your behaviour towards the revelation, noting your flushed cheeks. He then stands, seeming untroubled, yanking down his trousers in a swift motion. His eyes locked on you, giving you a cheeky smile, waiting for a response as he took his initial seating position. His legs stretch out, spreading wide while his expression remains easy going, his arms crossing pondering his next step.

The exposure of his burly thighs and curves of his muscles flexing as he readjusted himself halts your delirious reaction to his praise. Ogling at them, you bite your cheek, unable to stop obscene images being created in your mind. How it would feel to place your now soaking core against the hardness of his defined muscles, grinding your sweet cunt against them. Trying to camouflage your intense heat, you lower your gaze back down to the game, trying to distract yourself from drooling over the mental image of riding on them.

You had always looked from a respectful distance, avoiding giving away any obvious feelings. But now, under his piercing gaze, you wanted nothing more than to climb up on them and use him. All ounces of your self control were being tested, your view aligning too perfectly with his crotch allowing you to detect the outline of his thick cock secured tightly in his boxers.

What little focus you had before vanished, the air becoming thicker with anticipation, his dark eyes watching you like a hawk. His face, though displayed by a guarded mask, the disguise of a cheeky gleam lay in his eyes, seeming to read every thought you formed.

The light tapping of your fingers on the table echoes in the room, your cheeks stinging from the harshness of your teeth chewing against them. breath hitching, waiting for him to progress. His queen sat parallel from yours, his next move would claim it as his. Your breath hitched at the growing defeat, either way something of yours was coming off next.

A piece of fabric that held the contents of your friendship would be stripped away, leaving you vulnerable. Blaise could sense your apprehension and hoped that feelings of excitement were laying underneath it as he made his next move. Softened eyes meet yours, his hand raising, beckoning you over, “Come here, Sunshine.”

A breath is released at his words, surprised shadowing over your face. His tone holds both comfort and power, making you rise feeling drawn by his magnetic pull. Walking over to him, slowly stopping in front of his legs, your knees brush against his.

He takes a risky move, trailing his fingertips gently up your bare thighs, softly testing for your reaction. The sigh of released tension from you satisfies him as he pats his lap, encouraging you to come closer. You didn’t think your cheeks would ever stop blushing as you followed his silent command straddling his lap.

The giddiness of actually sitting in Blaise’s lap made your heart leap, his hands caressing your face gently. His eyes lock on yours, searching for an answer, needing to know if you were truly okay with this. “You good sunshine?” His voice, low and sweet flowing, sent a blazing sensation down your body.

Your legs instinctively wiggle as your core clenches. Nodding, you bite at your lip, unsure your voice held any firmness to speak. The slight buck of your hips, rubbing the wet material of your panties against his thigh, had a lascivious grin spreading across Blaise’s face.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Cold metal brushes across your skin, his hands trailing further down your body. “You trust me, right? You know I always take good care of you.”

Rapidly nodding, your back arches, soft movements glide across your back, his fingertips rubbing light circles. Pressing down further into his thigh, a breathless moan escapes you. He smiles again, amused, “I’m going to need some words sunshine. Before you start becoming impatient.” His hands hold your hips firmly, stalling you from grinding your cunt onto him.

“Yes, I trust you. I always do.” You peer up at him dazed with excitement now. Was this really happening? Sitting on top of your best friend’s lap, both undressed down to your underwear, the air thick with sexual tension. “Are you sure you want this B?” A feeling of apprehension washes over you at the mere thought of him changing his mind.

A low honey dripping chuckle ruptures from him, and his hands squeeze your face with kindness. “You love to doubt my decisions, don’t you? I always keep my word sunshine.” Caressing your jaw softly, he leans his head closer. “I want this, I want you.”

His lips press gently against yours, capturing the quiet gasp you make. His lips, soft and luscious, move rhythmically with yours, fingers tangling, threading into your hair. Your nerves melt away completely, leaning closer and wrapping your hands around his neck.

Blaise notices your eagerness and takes the lead, slipping his tongue in, the kiss building in pleasure. Burst of passion flows, stripping away the clear unresolved tension that had been creeping between the two of you. Your breathless moans harmonise with one another as the kiss grows messier. His hands roam, exploring eagerly to uncover new wonders your body provides.

Hands grope across the surface of your ass, squeezing, kneading, as your body rolls, grinding down on his thighs, a slight moan at the feel of his muscles flexing under your core. Digging your hands into his broad shoulders, fingernail marks denting his shirt, your hips rock back and forth, riding the wave of pleasure that stimulates your clit.

“Little desperate thing, aren’t ya baby.” Your eyes widen, taken aback by his degrading words, biting your lip, struggling to contain another rising moan. Blaise grins, flexing his leg more, watching the way you mew clutching onto his shoulders. “Caught you drooling from across the table, so pathetic.”

The sudden movements of his leg bouncing catch you off guard, the vibrations ricocheting, sending pressure straight to your clit. A sharp whine is ripped from you, echoing, bouncing around the hollow room, your head falling into the crook of his neck as you shamelessly rock harder.

“Atta girl, gonna fuck yourself on my thigh?” Blaise whispers small praises in your ear, his hold shifting to grab your hips, helping guide you towards your first orgasm. Desperation drips off your tongue, whines and whimpers spilling from you, his thighs continually clench repeatedly creating the much needed friction on your clit.

A dampened puddle soaks through your panties, drenching his thigh, the wetness spreading around your throbbing core, adding to the jolts of bliss applied to your clit. “Making such a mess, sweetheart, just couldn’t help yourself.”

Arching your back, throwing your head back. With the tug of your chin, your head is swiftly pulled in another direction, lips colliding, smashing hungrily into Blaise’s. His desperation to drive you over the edge fueling his energy, his tongue slipping into your mouth, hands pressing your body down harder against him.

You whine, the sensations driving you wild while you cling to him, your body rocking faster and harder, chasing the pleasure building, as your orgasm flows through you. “Gonna cum baby? I want you soakin my thigh properly.”

His words hit you hard, sending a rush of heat straight to your aching core. Your muscles convulse, the intense sensation of your orgasm washing over you. Pulling away, your head tilts back as you come, squeezing your thighs around his calloused legs, riding through your high.

Blaise watches you fall apart, admiring the flushness of red adorning your cheeks, his hands tending to your hips. Swiftly his hands envelop you, lifting, peeling your soaked body off his thigh and laying you down on the couch.

The chillness of leather clings onto your body while you catch your breath, relishing in the rush of oxygen filling your chest. Glows of fire flicker upon his skin, displaying his captivating chocolate glazed chest with the undoing of each shirt button.

Your eyes rake, taking in the subtle, or possibly deliberate movement - watching the flirtatious smile ghost his lips, as his muscles flexing carnally, discarding his shirt. Blaise swipes the remaining mess splattered on his thigh, leaning down to offer his soaked fingers out for you. Captivated by his enticing form, your mouth is still gaping allowing him to persist guiding them into your mouth.

The metallic taste of yourself seeps on to your taste buds, your tongue instinctively swirling around his large digits. A whiney moan is pulled, the sound lighting Blaise’s face up, “that’s it pretty girl, cleaning up your own mess.”

He retracts his fingers, your eyes locked on one another as he wastes no time, leaning down, hovering over you to plant kisses along your collarbone. Trailing your hands up his muscular chest, squeezing, grasping every inch of him. Every moan and whimper made, etched slowly, being ingrained into his mind, the sounds he always dreamed of hearing.

His body pressed against yours, his throbbing cock nestling in between your thighs, brushing the soaked cotton of your undies, grazing your overly sensitive clit. Moans spill as you tilt your head back, elongating your neck, allowing Blaise to seize the opportunity to trail more kisses up your neck. “Fuck, so needy aren’t you, Sunshine?”

Migrating his hands, he trails them up your body, pulling at the fabric blocking your tits. Groping at your delicate bust, the soft flesh buried by the depths of his hands, illustrating the extensive size of them. Working skillfully, he unclips the garment, exposing your delicious bust, his pupils dilating, taking in the enticing sight. Lust glazes over his eyes, his hands cupping, squeezing the supple hold of your tit, nipping harsher at your neck.

Nodding to his question, his fingers flick at your hardened nipples, pinching them till you cry pathetically. “Please, don’t make me wait any longer.”

He chuckles dryly, “I know I taught you better manners than that.” Another harsh pinch is applied, his fingers twisting mercilessly at your sensitive buds. A deep wave of pleasure courses through him at your desperate cries, his lips curling into a smug smile. “Always have been so impatient, haven’t you sunshine? Such a whiney little brat.”

You whine at the degradation, the quickness in which Blaise turned over a coin, moving away from his usual tolerating tone replaced by a figure of dominance, left you wanting more. With his free hand, he trails it down your body, making you squirm at his touch, his fingers pulling at the hemline of your panties. You shiver desperately, trying to clench at anything, his finger teasing your slit. Coaxing his digits in your juices, teasing your clit, rubbing small circles across the sensitive bud, the motions sending shocks of pleasure through you.

Moaning in relief, your hips buck as you grasp onto his shoulders, trying to bring him closer, needing, wanting more. He has other plans though, replacing his hand with his mouth, sucking on your nipple, he holds you firmly in place. Squeezing your thigh, nails digging into your skin, a cautionary threat. His fingers draw slow, sensual circles, creating shivers that spread over every inch of you. The tantalizing sensation leaves you squirming more in his hold, eyes peering at him wide, doe eyed.

Brown eyes peer down on you in mock disappointment at your feeble desire for him. “Ask me nicely, and maybe I'll go easy on you.” His cock twitches at the contortion of your face, revealing your desperate need for him, enough to spur him on, rubbing his finger at an intensely slow pace.

“Please Blaise, I’ll be good…I just need…need you to fuck me.” Breathlessly you ask him, his teasing pace making your head split, his lips still consumed by your tits.

His face curves amused into a satisfied smirk at hearing your request, demand. “Atta girl, wasn’t so hard now.” His fingers rub, increasing their pace on your hypersensitive clit, before sliding a digit inside your soaked pussy.

The surprised whine has him biting his lip, grazing his teeth across your nipple, suckling harder, leaving reddening marks across your breasts. Warmth invades him as his finger stretches you out, groaning at how needfully you clench, squeezing around him. “Fuck.” He slides another in relishing in the sounds you make, “gotta fucking stretch this tight little pussy out”.

Your cunt clenches trying to hold on to his fingers as he slides them through your wet folds, unable to stop your hips from lifting. The long wait of the pressure building has you clawing at his shoulder blades, you pleading with him before you know it. “Please, fuck, Blaise. Please, I need something more.”

“I said I’d go easy sunshine, I don’t think you’re read-” “Please!” A whine spurs from you in agony, at the thought of waiting any longer unbearable, having waited longer than tonight to fuck him.

He cocks a brow at your rude interruption, his eyes taking in your pleading face. It's lucky you were so damn cute with your face all scrunched, though if you didn’t want it easy, he wouldn’t give it to you.

Withdrawing his hands, he gives your cunt a small slap, silencing your outburst. “This is what you want. Is it not sunshine?” In seconds, he tugs his boxers down, his cock bursting as it springs free, smacking up into his abdominal.

Lowering your gaze lustfully, unable to stop the shameful way your mouth drops, your stomach dropping. Holy fuck. A wave of anticipation hums, an electric trill spikes through your nerves, making you tremble. He leans closer resting his head against your forehead, pumping his hard cock, small grunts of relief leave him. “Be a good girl and tell me if you want me to stop.”

Nodding while maintaining contact with his chestnut orbs, waves of comfort wash over you. He gives you a reassuring smile, tilting his head to brush his lips against yours again. The softness of his lips distracts you momentarily, a blaze of heat rising in you as he pushes forward, sliding the head of his cock into your folds. The stretch you felt as Blaise edged his cock further in catches your breath in your throat.

Groaning as he sank his hips forward, filling you up completely, his breath shallows feeling how your cunt swallows his cock. The tight warmness of your cunt, clenching, sucking his cock in snuggly, his hands resting on your hips, pausing as he waits for you to adjust. A sharp breath is drawn. “Fuck, you good sunsh-.”

“Holy shit, your cock feels so'good, so fucking big.” The look Blaise shoots at you shows his level of patience breaking. Agitated by your blunt interruption despite your erotic praise, hands gripping your hips tighter. He was used to your bratty attitude; it just was something that came with being your friend. But now buried deep within your warm walls, he wanted to fucking put you in your place.

In an instance, his hips move, pounding viciously, his muscles relaxing with each thrust, relishing at how well you're already taking him. You whimper, eyes widening at Blaise’s relentless pace, your nails digging into his skin to stabilise yourself. The intense pressure in your stomach spirals as you throw your head back, focusing hard on taking him. Your walls clenching, eyes squeezing shut incoherent babble spewing from your lips.

Blaise chuckles bitterly, “Remember when I said I wouldn’t go too hard on you? Yeah, well I lied.” Your skin burns, the tightening grip of his hands, his lips planting hot kisses along your neck. His hands grab your legs, wrapping them around himself, allowing him to sink deeper.

“Such an impatient little brat. Got what you wanted, now what you can’t even talk? Where’s the gratitude, Sunshine.” The more he degraded you, the more you whimpered, feeling overwhelmed by his words. He caresses your face, trying not to be too stern. “look at me, pretty girl, let me see you as you take my cock.”

With Blaise’s hand guiding your head, your eyes meet his, brows scrunching and lips parting, only breathless whimpers escaping them. Groans spill from himself watching you struggle, clearly enjoying the ruthlessness of his movements. “Tell me how good it feels.”

“So’ good..” a weak murmur is heard, making Blaise grin in satisfication, watching the way your tits bounce, your eyes glazed over, tears brimming.

“Takin me so well baby, such a good girl.” Blaise rests his head against your forehead, sharing sweet praises in between the sounds of your merciless whimpers. “Letting me take care of your sweet cunt, ain’t that right?”

Your body tenses convulsing, hands gripping roughly onto Blaise, mind fogging as your second climax approaches. His lips press claiming yours in a hot kiss, your breath stalled as he reaches down rubbing your clit, coaxing you closer to the edge. His own thrusts become more erratic, increasing his pace, groaning each time you squeezed his cock. Pleasure surges through you, feeling him slam repeatedly against the certain spot. “Blaise, fuck.. I’m gonna-”

An overwhelming cry tears through you, mind shattering as you fall over the edge. Head thrown back, pulling Blaise down with you, your legs continue to shake as he kisses your neck softly, his pace slowing as his own climax nears. His hands kept your legs pried wide as he groaned, rutting his hips with one last thrust, spilling his hot seed inside you.

He collapses on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck. Catching your breath, your hands caress, trailing along his back. “Thank you.” Your voice is soft and quiet but laced with teasing.

His head lifts, sighing in amusement at your comment with an eye roll, the corners of his mouth pulling into a smile. “You fucking kill me, sunshine.” He pushes himself off of you, pulling himself out, a collective sigh shared between you.

Rearranging himself, he moves to retrieve materials to clean you up. Tending to your sensitive body, his eyes meet yours, offering a hand out for you to sit up. “Did I hurt you?” His brows furrowing, eyes studying your overall reaction.

You shake your head, still feeling weak from the mind blowing experience. “no you could never hurt me. You take care of me, right?”

Blaise grins sweetly back at you, his hand twirling a loose strand of your hair around his finger. “I do. Always gonna take care of my sunshine.”

A new spread of red scatters your face as you give him a soft smile. Your eyes meet in a bittersweet moment, sharing in the reality of what had just happened. Biting your lip, giggles bubbling. “While I thanked you, you better thank the weasleys.”

The smile is swept off his face hearing your next comment, his eyes rolling back for the millionth time. His eyes give you a ludicrous look as he wraps his hands, engulfing your warm body and bringing you closer to him. “I think it’s you who finally deserves a thank you. Guess not all your ideas are disasters.”

You laugh, beaming at the warm embrace, glad your relationship hasn't changed. "So does that mean I win?”

He cocks a brow, snorting, “I don’t know about that. I think you’re still taking home the title of sore loser.” He winks, chuckling at his own innuendo. Though as he gazes upon you, captivated by your beauty, a realization of something new unfolds. A smile beams as he nods, “Though I guess you may have won in other ways tonight.”

⤷ navigation. ⤷ masterlist. ⤷ blaise masterlist. All work is my own and is not to be copied, claimed or stolen. ©️pizzaapeteer 2024. Tagged: @yourenogoodforme

#blaise zabini #blaise zabini f reader #blaise zabini x female reader #blaise zabini imagine #slytherin boys #slytherins #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #hogmarch challenge #Blaise Zabini smut

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reidologyphd · 2 months ago

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Criminal Minds Crossword

Ever wanted to flaunt your obsession? Now you can with this home grown crossword! Thirty specially chosen clues designed to perplex and bamboozle you!

#criminal minds #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #david rossi #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #crossword #I’m so bad at tagging #mgg #matthew gray gubler #Thomas Gibson #joe mantegna #shemar moore #paget brewster #aj cook #kirsten vangsness

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cauliflwrr-racing · 10 months ago

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there’s been a video going around of someone following lando norris and i’m so perplexed (bamboozled, flabbergasted if you will) at how people have just decided that it’s okay to do that.

in what world is it okay?? like i feel like basic respect, common fucking knowledge, just doesn’t exist anymore.

#bewilders me i swear #cauliflwrryaps❀#f1 #formula 1 #lando norris #ln4

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the-conquest-of-shred · 1 year ago

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I know this sounds super naive, but I just don't understand how you just don't be a bad person

it takes almost no effort to just accept people and not be shitty to each other I'm fucking flummoxed my guy absolutely bamboozled and perplexed

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duraxxor · 7 months ago

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Whisper Prompt - “He is lying. Make an example of him and show the world what becomes of those who refuse to answer my question the first time.”

A young magus trampled through the woods on foot. So young and naive they were. Beads of sweat trickling down their neck in the midst of the night’s coolness. He panted, breathlessly trying to capture air back into his lungs. Fear bristled within them in sweet, sweet melancholy. For even with this man’s inexperience, the stories had taught him that one such as the Lady in Red was not one you trifle with. Everywhere he looked, he half expected the shadows to lunge and tear him to pieces.

“Shit! Shit shit shit! I have to leave this place. I have to get as far away from this area as possible. Yes! I will leave Azeroth and go straight to the Outlands! Yeah! That bitch won’t find me there! I knew trying to seek her for power was a mistake! But they won’t be able to touch me there! Yeah! I will show them! I will show them all! “

The smile creeping upon the man’s face betrayed his thoughts. And while his words may have been a bandage for his fear, it most certainly dulled his senses as another entity started to lurk within the brush, imminently stepping out into the light of the moon. The leaves shifted and with it, the magus jumped.

“Gah! Who are you?! You best not be one of her lackeys! “He began to create hand signals to draw runes for a spell. Arcane particles popped when he immediately came to a stop. His fel-tainted gaze looked upon the visage of a new individual. He appeared elven but seemed rather odd in nature. A lithe and elongated limbs were wrapped in a business suit. A short length tophat nestled upon his sculpted scalp above the brow line. An icky, green hue decorated the eyes that were peering in his direction with a calculative stare. His nose, while pointed, had silver whiskers that stretched the curvature of his upper lip.

“Were you followed? Tailed? Perhaps even bamboozled? “The unknown personnel questioned this young man with a stone-cold structure of a man who did business. No emotion to be shown, not even a smile on the matter. His arms folded behind his back as he continued to just stare. How unnerving at a time like this.

“ Wh- I don’t know. L-look… help me! This crazy bitch is after me, alright? Can you please do that for me? I can pay you handsomely! Name your price! I will make it worth your while! Gold? Women? I can hook you up! “While he didn’t quite trust the man, his guard was lowered enough to understand that perhaps he was paranoid to jump to conclusions that this businessman was in league with Sanguine Sorceress.

That eerie stare bored into him, like a loan shark trying to pick out the man’s hand in the midst of a poker game. And then, he pulled his hands from his backside and clasped them together. His approach was calm, showing that he was willing to pay heed to his deal. “You wish to name a price? Well, I can most certainly make you a proposition. “There was an air about him that seemed to flow in an ominous whirl. Never seeming to blink even when the man’s gestures were erratic.

“Name it, I would do anything to get out of this… “The magus wallowed, feeling the suspense of time drawing closer as if the Lady in Red’s claws were drawing closer and closer by the minute.

The stranger’s lips finally elongated into a smile. The permission had been given and the deal would now be struck. “Answer me one simple question: Have you lied in the last thirty minutes and twenty-seven seconds? “

That was oddly specific. The magus looked to him with a bizarre, perplexed stare before he felt himself blurt out an answer on instinct. “No! Of course, I h-haven’t! I am innocent! “Another bead of sweat flowed down from his brow; a nervous smile twitched into false confidence. Oh no. Could he see right through me?

With his answer, the newfound business negotiator would find himself most dissatisfied. A scoff followed as the man began to dust himself off. This ignorant fool would fail to understand that every deal also had a consequence. “Is that all? My god you are a horrid player. Not only did you lie about what I had asked of you, you lied to yourself. Don’t you understand, boy. No one is innocent. This world is founded on the principles of wrong doings from all faces. Even the self-proclaimed good and righteous… Tsk tsk. That will be paid with interest now. I hope your insurance policy is a good one. “

The liar’s jaw grew slack as if he had been absolutely had to the highest degree. An immediate instinct to clench for dear life. “What do you mean pay with interest?! Are you insa-Glork! “His whining words trickled into paralyzed whimpers. An opportunity turned into his foe as quick as the shadows were cast. Within his jaws, this madman had already shoved half of his fist inside, bypassing teeth that refused to snap down out of defense. His tongue, now pinned between the middle finger and the metallic, ring digit that held that tender muscle tightly.

“Insanity? We had a deal. And you did not hold your end of the bargain. It seems you didn’t do your homework when attempting to have transactions with entities that are beyond your paygrade. It is terrible enough that you spoiled the moment, but you also lied to one of my favorite associates. For shame! “The distant stare continued to bore into his eyes, having seen it all. Heard it all. Had it all. This man was playing a poker game with a pair of twos while the dealer was full on royalty.

The magus suddenly felt this cruel businessman begin to pull on his tongue, bringing the muscle and veins to a tightness. At first, it started out as a pressure that had left the man quite uncomfortably whimpering. His arms trying to grab the monster that had him in his grasp. But over time, the tug began to pull on the base. The strength is prying at his lower jaw painfully. That fleshiness began to consume his sense of taste mixed in with an overproduction of saliva that was dripping onto the man’s glove. Whimpers now turned into muffled cries as tears began to stream down the man’s features. Kicking at the dirt, he just couldn’t muster the strength for freedom.

SPLORCH!

There was a split second in the severance as those final threads of flesh gave away. The pain now lighting his maw aflame. And as this man screamed, his illogical attempt to breathe in cost him further as the gushing blood that overflowed went directly into his lungs. His throat bubbled and heaved, desperately trying to regain himself but found himself drowning in his own blood and piss alike. And to make matters worse, the last thing he would see with one more visage.

The businessman possessed the most insidious grin, baring the teeth of a devil that was victorious in this hour. “And now. For the interest! “In the blink of an eye, another sickening sound of torn flesh followed as the bubbling babbler went completely silent after one last gag.

The following morning, travelers were in disgust, some even dry heaving at the sight of the most unsettling thing they had ever seen on the cobblestone road. The corpse of that naive magus, kneeling down with his hands placed upon thighs. Bloodied with his own guts that peaked from the crater in his chest. Much like it, his jawline was gaping wide with a trickle of fluid still running out of it onto the puddle beneath him. Eyes glazed over by the grip of death. Tongue and heart had been plucked from this soulless husk. And with it, a single word was etched into the stone by a finger of bloodied ink.

L I A R

[[ Enjoy this Lady in Red @sanguinesorceress <3 ]]

#ic #dura #whispers #a price to pay #sanguine sorceress #tw: blood #tw: violence

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weird-things-to-think · 3 months ago

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Ah, the word “ostensible,” a term of such grandiloquent magnitude that it could bamboozle even the most erudite of lexicographers! Allow me to elucidate, albeit with my rather limited comprehension and a penchant for orthographic calamity.

Ostensible is like when you say you go to gym for “health,” but really you just want to wear those fancy spandex pants and take selfies in the mirror. It’s like the cover story for your real intentions, like a spy wearing a trench coat but underneath is just a guy who forgot his umbrella.

Now, in the realm of linguistic obfuscation, ostensible is a word that purports to convey an appearance of veracity, yet may be a mere simulacrum of the underlying veridicality. In simpler terms, it’s like when you pretend to be busy at work by typing furiously, but you’re actually just writing your grocery list.

For instance, if someone says, “I am ostensibly attending this meeting to gain insights,” it could mean they’re actually there for the free donuts. The ostensible reason is the meeting, but the real reason is the sugary confections.

In conclusion, ostensible is a word that is as perplexing as it is pretentious, a lexical labyrinth that conceals the true motives behind a facade of respectability. Or, in other words, it’s like when you say you’re reading a book for the plot, but really you’re just there for the steamy romance scenes.

#ostensible #funny #confusing #grammar #language

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slyphycho · 6 months ago

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"Why are you following me around? Do I look like your damn mother?" The hooded bruxa is perplexed, bamboozled and utterly unimpressed at the fact this.....'thing' decided to latch onto her and now followed her around.

"You are underfoot. I cannot complete my work if you keep pestering me for attention," although cold, she did not entirely chase him out...so long as he did not actually impede her daily work.

"Well..what if I help you?" He asked as he smirked slightly. Not that being attached to someone as crazy as this was entirely a good thing. She threatened his life earlier that week when he snuck into the morgue. Every tantalizing moment etched into his fucked up mind like it was the most eventful moment in his life.

And thus became unhealthily obsessed with her. Not that he was in love. No. Gross. No. Something inside him snapped and found her perfect for a mother figure. Something he lacked inhis life since birth. His mother was never really there to give a shit so when he forced someone to give a shit he was targeting her.

Though he never got her name he had starred visiting the abandoned place more often. Getting company with the most dangerous person he's come across in his life and now he stands there waiting for her to give an order that definitely wasn't going to be 'go home'.

#more than just a narcissist; gary smith #v jestica

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here-to-reboog · 2 years ago

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I have just been informed that whenever I mention any character’s name from Thomas, my wonderful friend @whymustyouhurtmeinthisway immediately imagines Henry no matter what engine I say. Which makes me think about how everyone would react:

Thomas: Mostly confused, but not really offended at first. They look nothing alike at all. He’s just trying to figure out any possible reason to no avail and it drives him nuts for a few hours before he moves on to something else and remembers it some time later, rinse and repeat the process

Edward: He’s not offended, he takes it as a compliment because what else are you supposed to do, and Henry’s a good guy so it works out. He is perplexed at how he could be confused for Henry though but doesn’t give it much thought

Henry: He’s flattered that he’s the first engine to come to mind, he’s a bit proud of it and you know what let him be, poor guy has been through it let him enjoy life. Unsure of exactly why he’s the first thought though (it’s because he’s my favourite)

Gordon: Absolutely livid. With how stubborn and prideful he is I can just imagine him complaining all day. All the “I’m the biggest and the best so it should’ve been me” talk. Understandably everyone gets really tired of this really quick, he only stops when Edward tells him to shut up

James: Bamboozled. Flabbergasted. Bewildered. God forbid someone hears the name “James” and imagines literally any colour other than red. Full on pinning papers to a cork board and connecting them with yarn level investigation as to why he isn’t the first thought. It consumes his every waking thought for better or for worse until someone knocks some sense into him and makes him realize that he’s overanalyzing the situation far too much

Percy: You couldn’t pay him to care. He and Henry are both green engines anyway so he can understand how someone who isn’t very familiar or is bad with names could confuse Henry for him

Toby: He’d just laugh at the absurdity of it, then realize that it’s serious. He’d laugh again and does not really care.

Bonus:

Friend: any time you say a character’s name, I just imagine the big green one

Me: Henry?

Friend: yeah him

Me: but you remembered who Spencer was?

Friend: who the fuck is Spencer

#ttte #ttte edward #ttte henry #ttte gordon #ttte thomas #ttte james #ttte percy #ttte toby #thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #trains #shit post #ttte headcanon #ttte spencer

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15depressedducks · 9 months ago

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hey yeah no be grateful for these memes

i hit pl :(

Im sorry, but you stumped, bamboozled, bewildered, confused, perplexed me.

I have no clue what this means. Can you define it for me?

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xretiredcommanderx · 10 months ago

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Dare: Name 3 people you've come close with recently, nicknames count

[Meme|Accepting]

Insert sarcastic gasp here

"Well I did not see this coming. Colour me shocked, perplexed-- bamboozled even."

"Two very recently I should say and very surprisingly come from another multiverse. One I am sure is very aware of it, the other is not. I would like the other to be kept out of the loop. That is your forewarning and it should go without saying as to why if any of you know who I am."

"B, and Orion are the two from the other multiverse." For the love of Primus do not go telling Orion she has gone scooping him up into her little family unit. She's not sure how this Multiverse stuff works and how that affects realities.

"Plenty of bots showed up around the same time--most of them wreckers. But you want three names..."

"Optimus." subtle nod. "He knows who he is."

and as a bonus because you were so nice? I believe I might be haunted by a ghost who has taken up the mantel of a sire figure...but I don't know. That's up to you to decide.

#There we go #a dare!#I'm putting it under read more #because I can #and I'm petty #ask meme #|| Random Citizens Ask

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wurds-fur-nurds · 4 months ago

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In the realm of cognitive disarray, Where epistemic certainties sway, A bamboozle, you see, In its complexity, Confounds logic in a most perplexing way.

#bamboozle #poem

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talk-like-boomhauer · 4 months ago

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Title: “The Propane Prophecy”

INT. HILL LIVING ROOM - DAY

Hank Hill is sitting on the couch, polishing a propane tank with a sense of reverence. Peggy Hill enters, holding a mysterious-looking envelope.

PEGGY: Hank, you got a letter from the “Propane Prophets Society.”

HANK: (perplexed) Propane Prophets? Peggy, that sounds like one of those new-agey cults that sell scented candles and yoga mats.

PEGGY: (reading) “Dear Hank Hill, you have been chosen as the Chosen One to fulfill the Propane Prophecy.”

HANK: (skeptical) Propane Prophecy? Peggy, the only prophecy I believe in is the one where I sell propane and propane accessories.

BOBBY enters, wearing a wizard hat and holding a crystal ball.

BOBBY: Dad, does this mean you’re like the King of Propane now? Can I be your wizard advisor?

HANK: (sighs) Bobby, propane doesn’t need wizards. It needs responsible handling and proper ventilation.

Suddenly, DALE bursts in through the door, wearing a robe and holding a staff made of PVC pipe.

DALE: (dramatically) Hank, the Propane Prophets have spoken! You must embark on a quest to find the Sacred Grill of Propanica!

HANK: (deadpan) Dale, I think you’ve been sniffing too much bug spray again.

DALE: (ignoring Hank) The Sacred Grill is said to have the power to perfectly sear a steak with a single thought!

PEGGY: (intrigued) Well, Hank, maybe it’s worth checking out. Imagine the cookouts we could have!

HANK: (reluctantly) Alright, but only because I can’t let someone else misuse propane. It’s a matter of safety.

INT. ARLEN WOODS - DAY

Hank, Peggy, Bobby, and Dale are trekking through the woods. Dale is using his PVC staff to “divine” the path.

DALE: (chanting) Propane spirits, guide us to the grill of destiny!

BOBBY: (whispering to Hank) Dad, do you think the grill will really be magical?

HANK: (smiling) Bobby, the only magic in grilling is the taste of a perfectly cooked burger.

Suddenly, they stumble upon a clearing where a rusty old grill sits on a pedestal, surrounded by tiki torches.

PEGGY: (excited) Hank, look! It’s the Sacred Grill of Propanica!

HANK: (examining the grill) Peggy, this is just an old charcoal grill. It’s not even propane!

DALE: (disappointed) The prophecy was a lie! We’ve been bamboozled!

BOBBY: (cheerfully) Can we still have a cookout?

HANK: (chuckling) Sure, Bobby. Let’s show this old grill what real propane power can do.

They all laugh as Hank sets up his trusty propane grill next to the “Sacred Grill,” and they start cooking burgers.

FADE OUT.

#cryptic #tv #scene

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cardcatcardboard · 5 months ago

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Febuwhump Day 20 - “I Did Good, Right?”

cw // Spiraling Thoughts (lmk if I missed any)

Words: 1000 🙏 Fandom: Life Series Character(s): Jimmy and Watchers Ao3 Version Here! @febuwhump

~\/~

When Lizzie called the meeting in the Bambunker, Jimmy wasn’t sure what to expect. Unfortunately, he was met with one of the worst case scenarios.

Not only was Scar dead, but Lizzie got cursed by the Trivia Bot with her voice getting all scrambled.

“Ohhh no,” Jimmy said. “You’re a robot!”

Before Lizzie could formulate any kind of response, he heard the startling—and frankly terrifying—voice of Grian come from the walls.

“It was always going to be like this Jim.”

He tried to put up his shield or do something to block whatever attack was coming, but he was doomed no matter what he tried to do as the TNT exploded.

He jolted upright in a Void, a place he was pretty familiar with after so many times going through a Life Season.

He was in the Watchers’ domain.

He often spent a lot of time here after being the first one out, having to wait until everyone was dead, and he got to know them fairly well. Despite what many legends told, they were actually quite nice, and they explained why they did what they did with the games.

Jimmy wasn’t fully on their side about it, but he understood, and that was better than most.

As per usual, he was greeted by the same Watcher as before, one of the only Watchers who seemed actually happy for him and interested in what he had to say rather than pity his poor skills and make him the butt of every joke.

“You made it to the finale!” they said, a genuine excitement lacing their tone as they approached

Jimmy grinned wildly. “I did!”

He felt the ghosts of arms wrapping around him like a hug, Watchers unable to actually make physical contact but still able to mimic the sensation of touch. It was a shame he was never able to hug back, but he tried to give them a look that he hoped was close enough.

He stayed in that embrace for a while longer.

“I did good, right?” he muttered.

There was an air of joy in the air.

“You did very good, our canary,” the Watcher replied gently, and Jimmy felt fingers run through his hair and pet his wings.

Even if they weren’t actually there and it was a fake sensation, he enjoyed it anyway. He hadn’t felt a gentle hand in ages save for the occasional preening sessions with the Bamboozlers.

For a small time, Jimmy let himself fully relax into it with a few escaped chirps, finally letting his body untense entirely for the first time in weeks as he sat on the ground.

“Where’s everyone else?” Jimmy asked eventually, pulling his thoughts together after a while.

Usually he died first, and then more people would appear as they died too, and they would all watch the game as it continued.

However, since he wasn’t first out, he would’ve expected that the other would be here.

But it was empty save for his Watcher friend.

Even though the Watcher had a mask covering its face, Jimmy had learned how to read them. It also felt as if the entire mood of the area had shifted, sending tingles in Jimmy’s body that he could almost feel in his bones.

The Watcher stayed silent.

“…Where’s everyone else?” he repeated, pulling away from the soft touches to look at the other.

…

“…We…don’t know.”

It took Jimmy a long time to process that statement, fully putting his brain back in line to think.

They didn’t know? How do the Watchers lose people, isn’t their entire schtick being able to see everything everywhere all at once?

Jimmy didn’t even know how to respond beyond letting out a perplexed, “what?”

Despite the Watcher not moving a centimeter, Jimmy felt the air shift further, identifying the emotion as nervousness in its purest form, so strong it clouded his own mind.

The Watchers were never nervous.

They considered themselves the top of the food chain.

Most of them were the most arrogant beings he’d ever spoken to.

But they also didn’t make mistakes either, and clearly they did that now.

When the Watcher didn’t respond, Jimmy pressed.

“What do you mean you lost them?” he asked.

They stayed silent.

“What do you mean?”

They were silent for a moment longer, then they vanished.

The touches on his hair and wings disappeared as well, and Jimmy almost missed it if it wasn’t for the overwhelming anger that took him over.

How did they lose the other members?! Did they just vanish at some point, or have they not been coming to the Void after dying the whole time? Have the Watchers even bothered looking for them? Would all eighteen of them just disappear without a trace had Jimmy never shown up in this Void?

Fear began to creep in over the anger at that question.

Would he ever go home? Would they ever be found? Would he be alone here forever? Would his Watcher return? Or would he just go insane in this black Void where things echoed for eternity? Would he become one of Them? Would he be like Grian?

He knew the terrible things they did to him. He’d seen how their magic corrupted him at times. He’d seen how They changed him. He never explained things in detail, but from the little things he’s said and the way he'd changed it painted an ugly picture.

A shudder ran through Jimmy at the thought that they might do the same.

How did he know They weren’t lying? How did he know they hadn’t singled him out to change? To hurt? To make him like Grian?

He curled up tighter on the ground, his wings tightening on his back so much they almost hurt.

He loved Grian. They were like brothers. But he’d changed after disappearing from Evo. The Watchers ruined him.

Jimmy didn’t want that to happen to him.

He was trapped.

He was scared.

He was alone.

#febuwhump #febuwhump2025 #febuwhumpday20 #“I Did Good #tw spiraling #Trafficblr

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