#perhaps i can manifest a dream for myself

[thevioletcaptain]

when jensen finished singing watching over me, then said "are you sweating yet, dean?" i know i wasn't the only person who had a very brief and intense out of body experience before he casually added "yeah, that's right, our bass player is named dean."

[1overbaby]

Just had a dream and all i heard on repeat was: how am i gonna question myself when i saw it and know i saw it?

[astrogre]

Astro observations 3

Disclaimer: I would like to confirm that my observations are the niche ways in which a placement may manifest, it is the way I’ve noticed it in others, the people around me, celebrities, myself and in my studies. It is not the doctrine wide broad way the placement occurs for everyone.

Leo MC always are seen as icons by the public, they’re simply just iconic. Everything they do has an artistic value so they’re just seen as icons

When doing chart analysis I’ve noticed that even if an asteroid isn’t inputted to the chart, the themes surrounding it are still shown simply from planets. Asteroids don’t tell you anything new that isn’t already there, it more so highlights the “how”. The planets themselves already suggest the themes of what’s going on, asteroids are there to perhaps confirm it and further dissect.

E.g a person has Jupiter in 7th house, coincidentally Biblialexa and Sokrates asteroids may also be there too. This suggests more exact detail in how that Jupiter manifests and the natives relationships are filled with wisdom and intellectually charged but even if we removed the two asteroids from the picture, Jupiter already falls under those themes so the asteroids are just confirming that and showing us further how it’s done.

Taurus MC like to work hard so that they can live a wealthy, care free life. That’s what motivates them. It kind of reminds me of Denji from chainsaw man. The motivation to why he works so hard is to have delicious food and a warm bed to sleep in at night. They’re hard working but people can tell they work for the leisure that comes with it.

Planet conjunctions to a house make the planet that’s conjuncting the house work seamlessly with the theme of the house. It makes the qualities of that planet become heightened with the house, regardless of if the planet is inside it or not. In a way the house-planet conjunct is stronger influence than the planets INSIDE the house because they are not directly communicating with the house itself but are instead a part of it.

The planets in the house cusp obey and follow the nature of the house but when a planet is conjunct to the house it means they are both on par with each other. Like the head of administration speaking to the head of technology whereas all the planets in the house work as the team employees and essentially under the houses orders

let’s say someone has a 6H Venus conjunct Pisces 7th house, and mercury, Saturn, Neptune are in the 7H. The planets IN the house would be the book-keeper, auditor, fundraiser. And if the planet is conjunct to the house it’s in(Venus), that makes it have a stronger influence than the other employees because it’s directly writing with the boss rather than only under him. Venus would have more power and control in that house despite it not being inside

What they say about moon in 7th housers not being able to be single, and needing to constantly be in a relationship is so true. If they are happy single they are most probably living vicariously through a romance Tv series or literature. Some form of medium that lets them indulge in love as a comfort place.

If you have Pluto in a Scorpio ruled house, it makes you able to conquer your deepest fears. if you haven’t overcome them yet, you will eventually. This is because Scorpio shows what we are afraid of and Pluto exerts dominance and control, with this placement your fears become afraid of you, the tables turn and you have control and power over the things that you were once afraid of. However this usually happens after traumatic experience that makes you change your life.

e.g Scorpio 12th house with sag Pluto inside would be able to conquer their nightmares and dark thoughts. They may learn how to lucid dream or align the subconscious with the conscious mind communicating with it via the nightmares to understand the self, they could exert fear and control for an example, making the people in their nightmares do what they want, they can attain a good amount of control on their thoughts.

Usually to figure out if an outcome is likely from a chart you should see strong indicators shown 3+ times in their natal chart. If something is prominent in your life it will be shown on your natal chart and it certainly won’t appear just once.

E.g if you want to know if someone will be wealthy you should look for several strong indicators like Jupiter in 2H, money asteroids conjunct to personal planets 2H ruler in the money houses, Jupiter-Pluto aspects, just constant signs of wealth, they probably have some form of accumulated wealth in this lifetime as all of such are repeating signs of being financially blessed. If something is prominent in your life it will be shown on your natal chart and it certainly won’t appear just once.

Venus 1st housers are so well regarded by women. E.g Aubrey Hepburn, George Clooney, Selena Gomez, Queen Elizabeth. They’re like the staple of being respected by women because of their well presented nature. What you may call “written by a woman”.

I’ve noticed Capricorn risings with outer planet 1st house influence start from being the underdog, looked down upon, ignored and disrespected all for one by one their passion builds up together to form a whirlwind of success, reputation and competence.

E.g Kylie Jenner-being seen as Kendall’s shadow, Ariana Grande- only seen as the Nickelodeon side character and being constantly degraded for looking like a little girl

Chiron conjunct MC can make your work a living hell because it touches on deep traumas and you can feel exposed. But your career also heals you, you may even be seen as someone who heals others. This actually makes me think of Justin Beiber who has this placement. He was degraded online for decades bc of his substance abuse, had his nudes leaked and constantly harassed and now people want to apologize and see why he keeps wanting to “protect” billie and young artists from the predators in the industry. He is literally living the “wounded healer” reputation. Despite his own scars he’s attempting to treat others and he’s publicly known for it, even in the music he releases like his song Yummy that went viral for hinting at child exploitation.

Pluto 2nd house can either be the first one to break familial poverty then be the richest and elevate their status from what they have -going from middle class to upper OR they straight up destroy decades of resources and efforts given to them in the worst way possible due to their own self destructive behavior e.g bankruptcy, gambling, drugs or just spending it whenever they feel like it because they’re seeking power from the things they own so they’ll spend it to assert dominance.

I found that Leo risings LOVE it when people give them attention and make them feel like the centre of the room, even when they’re doing nothing, they kind of expect to be the main attraction. They gleefully jump for joy when you mention their appearance and compliment them. For an example if they’re at a karaoke bar and the group record the session the Leo rising might just stand in the middle and occupy the view of the camera doing nothing while the others are singing. Just because they feel attracted to that limelight.

They can appear “attention seeking” to some but they actually shine beautifully when they have something to contribute like their talents.

Strange observation but I’ve noticed that Venus 11th house in Juno Persona chart at its worst has a partner that cheated on them with a mutual friend. Eg. Will smith. Looking at what Venus is aspecting is also important.

Degrees are like the seasoning for your food, like salt, cinnamon, spices -each sign representing a different kind of added seasoning to the planet. Your planet is the main dish, the house placements show how it’s presented and the aspects are what else it’s eaten with. All parts of the chart must be taken into consideration, all parts are important to get an accurate image of what goes on. So don’t leave out degrees or retrogrades just because they’re not as prominent.

Pluto-Jupiter aspects specifically conjunct is THE well known wealth indicator in astrology. So many billionaires have it: Rupert Murdoch, Warren Buffet, George Soros, Bill Gates, JP Morgan, Charles Koch, Nelson Rockefeller

Planets in the 10th house can show your attitude towards performing for other people, stellium here can make someone feel like they need to meet peoples standards because of pressures or expectations of what and who they’re are “supposed” to be, this expectation can come from authority figures like parents too

10H also shows the parts of you that are easily criticised because they’re seen clearly

[uyuforu]

Astro Observations: Uyu's Solar Return Chart for 2024-2025

My birthday is very soon, so I thought of doing an analysis of my solar return chart, which starts the day before my birthday, so August 5th. I hope you can enjoy this post! I will focus on conjunctions or important aspects mostly here, I don't want the post to be too long. If you see an aspect that hasn't been mentions and would like to give your opinion, feel free to do it in the comments ^^

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Solar Return Chart I

જ⁀➴ Solar Return Chart II

જ⁀➴ Uranus in the Solar Return

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A Solar Return Chart (SRC) is an astrological predictive tool that enable you to discover what will happen for you during the year of your birthday. It is based on the return of your Sun, so your Sun will have the same exact position as in your Natal Chart.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun 10H means focus on this year is on career, popularity and success in those areas. I can be more popular and achieve a certain level of fame this year. I can also be more successful in my career and perhaps more known in it too. I can make a name for myself.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Moon 10H means I'll be more connected to my work emotionally. But that also means caring more about my work. I'll be very focused on my career. I can also be prone to stress more about my career this year. This placement also suggests emotions based on work. But it means my emotions will be public too. Also working from home.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mercury 10H means I can write more for work, I can communicate more also at work or for work. I'll talk a lot about work, or ideas perhaps too. A time to work online a lot, and I can also communicate a lot with clients. I can be talked about more this year for my career, or even reputation matters too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Virgo Mercury can mean expressing ourselves in a very logical and analytical way this year. Mercury in Virgo makes us talk in a more serious tone, or just more detailed one too. There are less emotions, meaning we also express ourselves based on what is more logical to do, and less based on how we feel.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus 10H means big success in my career this year! Recognition will def happen. It can mean also I will love what I do for living this year. This can also mean meeting more people related to my job, and make more friends who are coworkers. And this can also mean having more connections too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars 8H can be a sign of having s3x often this year, and to be more intimate than before too. This can be a year you'll have a lot of steamy moments. It can also indicate some people being "obsessed" with me. I can manifest more easily this year too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Jupiter 8H also is an indicator of having a lot of s3x this year. It can also be an indicator of some people having a crush on me. This is also an indicator of being able to manifest more. But it can also mean receiving an inheritance, or someone will give me a lot of money this year. I can also buy a big thing, such as a house for example.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Saturn 5H means this year I can learn lessons about being more mature. But also knowing when to have fun, and knowing when to be serious. I won't be pregnant this year too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Uranus 7H means having unexpected events happening in your love life. Meeting people unexpectedly. I could also meet people I never thought I would meet. Ruler tells a lot. My Ruler is in 10H, so I could meet people for work or who will help me in my work. I can also have a sudden contract for work. Uranus also represents change, so sudden change and transformation happening in my love life, and a contract can also transform my career suddenly.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Neptune 5H means embracing my creativity this year, having a lot of ideas, perhaps being inspired by dreams. But it can also mean being very unique with this, and people might copy me lol. I can also tend to romanticize life or my hobbies this year, and I can discover and have more hobbies!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Pluto 3H means people can gossip a lot about me, and I wouldn't be surprised since I have a 10H stellium. Pluto opposite my sun, this could also be a sign of talking behind my back. Pluto 3H is also a sign of transformation related to my voice, how I think, some of my opinions, my siblings, I can also obsess about things more easily. This is also an indicator of discovering secrets or truth. Since Pluto is in Aquarius and so ruler is Uranus, my Uranus is in 7H in this SRC, this can be discovering truth or secrets about a romantic partner.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Vertex 8H means a transformative experience in general, and it's destined, Vertex is all about things that will eventually happen. And it's also a sign of getting proposed to ;-; It can be a sudden proposal. It can also be an indicator of studying more esoteric or occult matters.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Part of Fortune 1H can be an indicator of a glow up, or just feeling blesses, happy and content with our appearance. It can also mean having good opportunities related to our looks.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Chiron 6H can mean a pet in my family can pass away. Ruler is also in 8H, so this can happen. Otherwise, it can be a sign of having a weak health or just some problems with health due to overworking. It can also mean healing health issues.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Scorpio Rising 0° means a huge transformation is coming. I can change physically but also mentally this year, and it can actually be drastic. The last time I had this placement, I lost weight, and I also had a glow up. This can mean the same thing, and POF being in my 1H, conjunct my rising, it can mean the same. It can also mean attracting jealous people.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus DSC can be a sign of entering a long term and serious relationhsip, and attracting people who want the same.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Leo MC is a sign of success and fame potential in career this year! Also excellent reputation. Can be noticed and known easily this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 1H Ruler in 3H can mean people can gossip about me because of how I look. People can also talk a lot about me this year just because of me, my aura, no real reasons can be there tbh. I can be talked about a lot this year, people talking a lot about me, what I do, etc. This can be a year where I'll travel, learn, write, and just want to know more.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ SRC 1H Ruler in Natal 2H means I can attract more money this year, and I can make a lot more than I used to have. I can also change my aesthetic. I can also shop more!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 1H Ruler conjunct IC can mean living alone, or moving, detaching from family.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 2H Ruler in 3H can mean I'll talk a lot about my possessions, but it can also mean people gossip about what I own, and what I buy.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 3H Ruler in 5H can be a sign of doing or receiving a love declaration. I can sing more perhaps this year. This can also be a sign of going on vacations more this year. I can also dance more this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 4H Ruler in 7H is a sign of moving in with a romantic partner. Also the sign of starting a long term relationship.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 5H Ruler in 5H is a sign to enter a romantic relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 6H Ruler in 8H perhaps means to be obsessed with work and to work so much it can become unhealthy. It can also be an indicator of falling sick because of busy schedule.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 7H Ruler in 10H is a major sign to enter a serious and long term relationship!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 8H Ruler in 10H is another indicator of being obsessed with work, working a lot, and perhaps also my career having a huge transformation.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 9H Ruler in 10H means if I travel, I can travel for work mostly. I can also learn more for my career. Make more researches, etc.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 10H Ruler in 10H can be a sign of more fame or a better reputation in my work, being more known.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 11H Ruler in 10H means using more social medias for my career this year, or just being more seen online?

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Groom 8H can mean being more intimate with my FS this year! It can also means there will be a transformative experience happening with him. It can also mean that I can have hot moments with him this year lol.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Juno 11H can mean talking with someone I love/ have a crush on online a lot, or long distance relationship. Calling and texting your lover a lot. It is also an indicator of being in a relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Natal Venus conjunct SR Venus means this is a very important year for my love life. Not the main focus, but there will be major events happening in this area too. Usually it can be a time when something big will happen. And Venus is entering in Virgo in August 2024, and it's my Venus return, so it's starting right away! Last time I had a Venus Return was when I met my FS.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 10H Stellium is a big indicator of success in career, recognition in career, and just being in the spotlight. It is an indicator of having a major success in our career that can makes us level up in our life and reputation. Also an indicator of fame.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun conjunct Moon means feeling stable emotionally speaking this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mercury conjunct Venus can be a sign of having a love declaration this year, or doing one. But it's also a sign of writing love letters, or being very romantic usually. It can also mean getting more compliments this year! Also a sign of being proposed to.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Juno conjunct Union can mean meeting or being in union with a romantic partner.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus sextile Boda, this is a wedding indicator lol, but if I see something related to wedding happening that year it's more a proposal than an actual wedding ;-;

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Saturn conjunct Neptune can be a sign of self doubt, and I have this placement in 5H, so this can make me insecure related to my love life, or I can feel insecure and it can create obstacles in my love life. It can also mean me being doubtful or my imagination and creativity. And I can also doubt about things in my love life.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Uranus conjunct DSC means something will change about my love life.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus conjunct Juno is a sign to be in a relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars conjunct Jupiter can be a sign of have a lot of steamy times this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Jupiter conjunct Groom can mean something good will happen with my FS this year, perhaps also Groom or me can travel to the other, but I feel like Groom more. this can be an indicator of being in a relationship or being proposed to.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars conjunct Groom can be a sign of having s3x with your FS. But it can also mean there will be fights with them too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Vertex conjunct Groom can be a sign of meeting FS but also of having some important moments happening with FS. Usually the years where you have that placement, you can encounter and spend time with your FS.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun conjunct MC means being the center of attention this year, being seen and noticed a lot. People will just focus on me.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Scorpio 2H can mean spending more money or making more money this year. I can either be obsessed with my belongings, or I can just spend more because I make money.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Capricorn 3H can mean being more serious about the way I speak and express myself, but also more dedicated too. I can also speak a lot about work.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Aquarius 4H means relationship with family members can change, evolve. I can also move, something will be different about my home and family than the previous years. Something will change, and perhaps a new family member can come (marriage, in laws, babies, etc.)

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Pisces 5H can mean very creative and romantic this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Aries 6H means more energies to my routine, and being very busy this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus 7H means finding love is more possible, since I have a Venus sign over the 7H. But it can make me attract serious and long term relationships this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus 8H can mean I can be less worried about money this year. I am also more chill.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Cancer 9H, I don't think I'll travel much this year. I could still, but it won't perhaps be too much in foreign lands. If I do travel in foreign lands, it can be perhaps related to homes, so I could live in foreign lands eventually. But it doesn't seem like a big placement.

Thank you for reading!

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[lawofangie]

Hello. I just saw your post about your manifestation journey while struggling with depression and I’ll probably just be another rant about “how difficult it is to manifest”, but honestly I just want to talk a little bit.

I’m at work right now. I’m a trainee in a law office and my relationship with my boss is deteriorating gradually.

While I was at school, I would always think that I would be happier at a job, because I like to feel useful and competent. But now that I have a job, I just feel miserable.

I already received complaints twice about “being distracted” and “not doing my best”, which came as shocking because I’ve been doing my best. I have two bosses and while one looks like she really appreciates me, the other one might be the contrary.

I always fails to do what she wants me to do.

So I have been having really tiresome dreams. I had one where they asked me to type a document and after a while it turns out it was a “you are fired document” and asked me to sigh it.

They laughed and said that “I wasn’t doing enough” and “I wasn’t attending my classes at college” which I WAS but it didn’t matter.

I actually can’t imagine my life better. It’s like my mind just blocks it from me. I feel like I can’t delude myself even if that’s what I want the most.

I really want to just escape and live happily but I just feel trapped and miserable. I think I can predict what you are going to advice me but…I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared.

this is actually kind of relatable. i've felt similarly at many points in my life, i struggled to function, i thought external things would make me happy, applying the law was difficult. i couldn't imagine my life any better either. i understand where this is coming from, i'll try to give less generic advice, but i'm going to be brutally honest, and, this still won't be anything special. its important to remember that regardless of what i say here, manifestation is still just assuming you have your desire and persisting in that fact.

anyways, it honestly gets to a point where you have to realize that you're just wasting your time feeling trapped and scared. you're doing yourself a disservice. no one and nothing can save you, nor is anything or anyone going to. as unfortunate as your circumstances are, you have to do it yourself.

you have to take what you want and prioritize that above how you feel, anyone's made you feel, and how anyone feels about you. your life is meant to revolve around you and no one else. its YOUR life for a reason.

you SHOULD NOT waste the best years of your life being miserable, feeling like a failure, like a victim, like you can't change, like you're trapped like this forever when that's completely illogical. everyone and everything changes. people change in age, appearance, personality, sexuality, preferences, etc. it's physically impossible to be incapable of change unless you're not alive. people change all the time.

you genuinely do not have the time to be so self loathing and miserable, not when you're going to literally grow old one day. and according to those who've made it there already, that day comes fast. do you want to look back at your life at 80 and see what you wasted it doing? when all this information was right in your face? when all you had to do was take a chance and have some faith in yourself?

changing yourself isn't impossible, you're just too scared to assume anything good about yourself, perhaps because you've gotten so used to being miserable. "changing yourself", by the way, just so we're clear, simply means to assume something new about yourself. for example, you already believe you are a failure, and to change would be to simply assume you're successful. that's quite literally it. you just believe in something without physical proof, that's assuming. we assume all the time. you're just assuming about yourself now. the law is extremely simple to utilize, but it's the simplicity that leads to people overcomplicating it themselves.

also, delusion is, by definition, a false belief that is resistant to change, even when presented with evidence that it is not true. an assumption, by definition, is a belief that is taken as true without proof or evidence. you need to realize the difference here. we are telling you to assume, not to delude yourself. we are promising you that the "proof" comes after you've fully accepted it as true. we're not telling you to actively deny something despite accepting it as true. what would be the point in that? if we're telling you that your assumptions, aka the things you believe to be true without proof manifest, why would we tell you to continue to accept something you don't want as true? does that make sense?

being delusional and making an assumption may seem similar in theory, but in practice, they are completely different. one is literally the result of a mental illness, the other is a very normal, very human behavior that we do every day. we make assumptions about ourselves, people, and situations. all. the. time. it seems like it's only a problem and called "delusional" when it's about yourself, and it's something good.

it's like being confident in yourself, believing in your abilities despite what others have to say about you. for example, you have a great confidence in a talent or skill, and the you believe that you will get better as you get older/more experienced/more knowledgeable, and you'll make it places and have great opportunities in the future. let's say some random person decides to insult you and say that you'll never make it anywhere in life. would it be "delusional" to not listen to them? to not let someone else dictate your future? or would that simply be having some faith in yourself and not letting others define you?

this is literally all we're telling you to do, believe in yourself even if your reality seems to be against you. don't fight it, just accept that the unfavorable isn't true and move on. continue to believe in yourself.

and besides, if any person successful to date operated with that "i don't see it so it's not true" mindset, they wouldn't have become successful, would they? would anyone accumulate any kind of success with a mindset like that? the people who have came from nothing and made it to where they were now, had an unwavering confidence in their abilities and the fact that they'd be something one day. despite what anyone's told them, or tried to project onto them, it didn't get through to their unwavering sense of self.

the point is, we are promising you something. all it takes is for you to have some confidence in yourself. to quit hurting yourself. is that so hard?

anyways, the point of manifesting is when you change yourself, the things in your external reality change.

assuming is easy. believing things to be true without proof is easy. you just have to get comfortable with the fact that you need to change before anything changes externally. again, instead of believing you are a failure, that you are trapped, you simply assume you are successful, and you are not trapped.

people also change their minds all the time, they grow to have a different opinion, they realize they were wrong, they want to give something else a chance, or without a reason, they simply change their mind. these things are not impossible, they happen all the time.

i'm saying this to say that manifesting isn't being delusional. to be delusional is feeling stuck and like things can't change, when they so clearly do, all the damn time. you're not special enough for the concept of change to not apply to you. for instance, you are certainly not the same person you were when you were 6 compared to however old you are right now. you changed, therefore you are capable of changing, and i proved it to you with that simple example.

you only feel stuck because you decided you are, you decided that you'll never be unstuck, and so you haven't been. the law is working, just not in your favor. everything you see in your reality right now, perfectly matches whatever you've assumed to be true. that is not a coincidence. it's important to remember that the law isn't a thing with feelings, it does not care about you or your situation. all it does is continue to operate. it's up to you to use the law's indifference to your advantage.

also, you seem to have a victim mindset. it's very obvious in the way that you try to explain yourself, that you were doing as you were supposed to, but it still 'didn't matter'. you're putting so many things (your job, your bosses, proving yourself) on a pedestal, over what really matters, which is yourself. do you even like your job? did you pursue something you were passionate about? because if not, then you have no business subjecting yourself to any kind of mistreatment, not when you didn't even want to be there in the first place. you should be putting yourself and your desires before even thinking about pleasing anyone or meeting any kind of requirement.

your own standards and requirements should come first. remember : you chose to work for them. you have a choice. you also need to remember that your bosses and colleagues are regular people. outside of work (and in the workplace if we're being honest) they have no kind of power over you. you shouldn't be letting such irrelevant people in your life have the power to instill so much fear in you, to the point where you're having literal nightmares.. about typing a document incorrectly.

also, about feeling useful and competent, that's something you have to decide about yourself. are you useful? are you competent? do you honestly feel this way about yourself? definitely not, which is why you're seeking validation from others. but at the same time, it is what's made you so miserable, because you're definitely not getting that validation. and any you get only gives you a short lived feeling of satisfaction. your opinion on yourself matters more than what anyone has to say. that's literally why confidence and insecurity exist. and either way, you still feel a certain way about yourself that outweighs anything anyone has to say about you.

here's another example, let's say you've been insecure about your looks from a young age. if one day, someone randomly tells you you're beautiful or they think you're pretty, is all the insecurity you've felt for years suddenly going to go away? or will your mind find reasons to reinforce the fact that you don't feel beautiful? and if someone confirmed your insecurities, saying you weren't their type, they didn't find you attractive, wouldn't you just justify that reaction in your mind since you feel that way about yourself already?

with that in mind, how much does anyone's words really matter? do the words of others honestly have any significance when they aren't reinforcing something you already believe about yourself?

your reality works in a similar way. whatever you decide to assume/ accept as true/ shift your awareness to/ decide is true/ feel is certain, your reality will reflect. as well as a bunch of reasons to continue believing whatever it is is true. the law is very indifferent and has no bounds. it does not care about your feelings, your specific circumstances, and so on. that's why i'm telling you, you only feel these ways and experience the things you do, because you decided you were. this goes for being miserable, being stuck, feeling useless, feeling incompetent and living in fear. there are no exceptions.

so, with all that said, what do i suggest? first off, you need to practice being secure in yourself. work on being confident in yourself first, then work on your self concept. i say "confidence" as in feeling secure in yourself within the 3d. so, your looks, your body, your social skills, your physical skills, etc. because "self concept" has to do with having confidence in your manifestation abilities. find a helpful method that works for you, like affirming, visualizing, scripting, rampaging, or just simply deciding something new about yourself and accepting it.

self confidence has to do with things like liking yourself, being your own validation, having optimistic thoughts about yourself, and self efficiency. you can't care about what others think, you have to put yourself first, and you can't let anyone dictate your future. be selfish. the only thing that should matter is you and how something makes you feel. nothing bad comes from putting yourself first and not worrying about others.

once you feel confident in yourself, or even while working on your confidence, practice using the law. you could start by manifesting something small, something specific that would prove to you that you can manifest, then work your way up. manifest bigger things or just a large quantity of things, just to prove to yourself that there aren't any limits. remember, manifesting is just assuming: believing something to be true without proof. i mean that in the most literal, simplest way possible. like the example of success i used earlier.

once you've proven to yourself that manifestation is indeed real, play around with it. also, work on your self concept. decide that things always go well for you, that you deserve good things, you're the creator of your reality, learn to mentally reject unfavorable things in the 3d, and so on. this is what i would do if i were you.

i know this was kind of long, but i hope you understand my words and find them useful. feel free to dm me or send another ask if you have anymore questions. 🩶

[emptypapertowelholdermodelx]

weekly rituals with my deities - a study in motivation, worship, routine, & relationships

while working with apollo today he approached the subject of my lack of relationship with the deities i have been worshipping. he acknowledged how it bothered me. while praying to hekate, she pushed the word “try” into my mind several times as i lamented about how i “couldn’t” keep up with everyone i wanted to, and how my faith was waning as i lacked devotion, focus, and motivation. apollo and hekate, together, suggested i pick a day of the week to worship each deity separately. j can continue my small, daily routines (sleep for hypnos, yoga for the morrigan, pills for apollo, etc.), but i may find it easier to pick a day to devote to each deity as well. i worship seven deities, and there are conveniently seven days in the week.

all of this was confirmed when i saw a post here about how i should do the same. i knew apollo and hekate sent the post my way to confirm what they were already telling me - sign, if you will. confirmation.

in that case, i’m writing my routines and devotional acts out here, as a way to stay motivated, accountable, and have it on hand whenever i need it.

every day i plan to pray to them more intensely than usual and offer something small, whether that be a portion of my meal, a flower i found, or a cool rock.

sunday; apollo’s day. pray to him, offer something to him. sunbathe in the window, or outside, in the morning. make a point to dedicate my medicine-taking to him. journal a little, and do a weekly tarot spread to honor his divination aspect.

monday; the morrigan’s day. pray to her, offer something to her. read one of my books about her. do an intense yoga routine to get the blood pumping - no skipping out on this! journal while praying to her.

tuesday; anpu’s day. pray to him, offer something to him. do some shadow work - this could be free writing, a tarot spread accompanied by journaling, or following some prompts. i’ve found that anpu really appreciates when i perform shadow work, and as a death deity, i think ill start a trend of working through my death trauma with him on tuesdays.

wednesday; hyacinthus’ day. pray to him, offer something to him. on wednesdays i will make a point to talk and pray to him while i water my plants, pick weeds, and check on the overall health of my garden and health plants. i’d like to also do some introspective journaling on love and the trauma i am working through, as hyacinthus’ main goal with me is to build a healthy relationship with my partner.

thursday; hypnos’ day. a soft, calm day. not much goes on. i offer to him, and pray to him. perhaps i can take an extra long nap. i can cleanse my bed altar, make it all tidy, and do some devotional prayers and restful activities in bed. i will also make a point to dedicate that night’s sleep to him, and invoke him to appear in my dreams if he’s willing.

friday; hekate’s day. offer to her and pray to her. read one of my books about her. perform a magical spell or ritual, no matter how big or small. right now it’s hard to do full blown spells as i’m working in the broom closet at my christian sisters house, so i don’t have much of my supplies. but manifestation and intention setting will be one way i can accomplish this.

saturday; hestia’s day. pray to her and offer to her. clean my room and tidy up my space in dedication to her. light a candle while i pray to her, and let her energy fill my room. maybe do some baking in her honor, like a sweet desert or an attempt at bread.

i am hoping to follow this routine for my gods and myself. this will help me refocus on my practice and get in touch my deities again, who i’ve been slightly neglecting in favor of doing nothing all day.

i had an insightful time with apollo and hekate, and hope they’re proud of me as i implement their ideas into the coming weeks <3

[toffeebrews]

THOIGHTS ON HYPERSOMNIA (error x ink x dream)..?

Going to be honest I didn't consider this ship till I saw your account talking about it

Quick Edit: Somehow I accidentally convinced myself I like this ship by doing this?? LMAO

im going just off whatever my brain says so... hopefully it makes sense? I'm going to stretch things to make this work okay bare with me. That and I haven't had years to build headcanons so some of these are off the cuff. Nothing is canon obviously

I tried to wrap my head around how I would do it in my interpretation, and I decided perhaps if error calmed the hell down and realized maybe destroying universes shouldn't be ur life's goal. Due to morality difference I had trouble picturing dream being personal with error otherwise. I think perhaps some of these things dream/ink picked up on whether it being kidnapped by error or just via battle or something idk lol.

Due to Dream's empathy and knowledge of people he understands Error's motivations stem from a source of anger and not ration. Dream calls him out on it and Error feels a little violated by how accurate he gets it. Perhaps if Error did give up on destruction someday dream would be there to help him with his new identity???

More yapping under the cut

Ink, Error and Dream all relate to being outcasts and their own isolation due to the their roles (whether they bestowed it upon themselves or not). They're all lonely af (LMAOO).

I personally hc both ink and dream can lift way more than their weight. Ink not to dream's extent but he definitely is stronger than he appears. Error is perplexed with this information.

I never understood the " restores the balance thing" so personally I believe this was misconception dream had before he got to know error! Perhaps this manifested as rumors in the multiverse and error was rumored to be actually helpful instead of harmful. Also dream believed people had better intentions then they truly do at one point but as dream matures he realizes this isn't the case. Something like that. Not because I think dream is dumb, rather just want to see the best in people LOL even if he thinks what they're doing is wrong.

Error has a general distrust of dream at first, perhaps because his words remind him of another kind soul (it's blueberry... LMAO). But a part of him, even just a bit , just wants to have a "friend" (him and blue weren't exactly friends but yknow what I mean) like him again.

Dream weirdly finds some comfort in the anti-void as there is less emotional noise. I could picture dream commenting on it maybe, not directly referencing his own emotions but instead that the anti-void is calm (uh does dreams empathy have a bandwidth? I'm making that assumption.)

Dream got extremely excited when he realized error could also understand spanish.

He got quite invested in UnderNovela, dunno why but I imagine dream to be a fan of fictional romantic stories and dramas. He, Ink and error enjoy talking about it together. They've extrapolated a bunch of theories and such together for what will happen next.

I don't see dream as a crybaby but more suspectible to crying than the other two. Error doesn't... react the best to people crying nor do I believe ink to be the best at comforting others (projecting there whoops). I feel like Error is the type of guy to shove things in your face in hopes of making it stop LMAO. Like how you shake a toy in front a baby in hopes of getting them to stop crying. I just imagine error shoving sweets or some other gift in Dreams hands if he were to start crying. Dream would find his reaction kinds funny and maybe would brighten his mood a little bit. Ink is also trying his best and I suppose would try to be encouraging to dream. He would definitely give dream a well deserved hug. In general it's just an awkward mess, but they try their best. Dream would apologize after because of course he would.

Error in general gives "gifts" to dream, because he noticed Ink gives gifts to Dream when they get closer to being friends. Gifts in quotations because they're stolen. Idk, Error is weird.

While Dream obviously cam teleport au to au he doesn't understand as much the technical aspects of the multiverse. Error seems quite open to any questions he has about it I think. He hears error and ink discuss it at times but honestly it sounds quite confusing to him. Idk he's a curious little guy I think he would find himself love hearing Ink and Error yap about stuff like that *shrug*

I have this hc dream loves mlp so yeah they would watch that together.

[chaisshitposts]

Write A Letter To Yourself To Find The Answers You Want. || 'Dear Subconscious...'

have ya ever had a problem at hand that ya just couldn't figure out a solution to? it's such a deeply perplexing problem that ya just decide to shrug it off and maybe 'sleep it off.' and so, ya do just that... and maybe in the middle of the night, or as soon as ya wake up, or maybe even two days later in the middle of a totally unrelated task, ya get a random idea, a random thought, or perhaps a random solution that was the answer. that was yer subconscious, answerin' that problem ya were so stumped on.

which got me thinkin'... why haven't i considered askin' my subconscious a direct question? ive seen this happen in movies before, usually with— people who have DID or MPD, or perhaps someone who sleep walks, or suffers black outs. I've seen people leave notes and messages to themselves.

why haven't I just written a letter addressed to my subconscious and let it solve everything for me? why haven't I asked my subconscious to show me the answer or give me the answers I need to tap into being in the state of pure consciousness? the letter is personal to me, and my subconscious knows me best, so why the fuck wouldn't I trust what it has to say? i already do muscle testin' to get my yes/no answers, I already do fuckin' tarot readin's on myself— so... why not do this? can't believe I haven't done this yet.

and with that thought, I got my handy notebook, sat down at my dining room table, and got to writin', starting the letter off by saying 'dear subconscious...' I spilled my most vulnerable guts afterwards and the rest was history.

I'm gonna tell ya right now, full transparency, I wrote to my subconscious about how much I want to enter the void state/I Am State and asked it for clear signs in my letter, I told it to give me the answers I want in a way that only I could understand. an experiment worth while... originally, i wasn't gonna post this but then i got my answers and i wanted to share this with ya lovely folks of this lil' dandy community.

I bet you're wonderin' what was the answer I got from my subconscious. I got multiple answers, as terrifying as that is, and I cannot even fathom how I can explain them properly. All I know is that I feel unwavering peace in all aspects of my life. but if yer really curious, I got a message in a tarot readin' video and through the spinoff of adventure time that just came out, not too long ago on max. Fiona and Cake. the shit they say in the show is... I can't even explain how it made me feel, just finished watchin' the entire series today. it was everything I needed to know, I asked my subconscious for an answer that only I would understand and what would ya know... i love musicals and animated shows/movies, and behold, i gotta damn combo. i definitely recommend it to my fellow manifesters!!! they literally talk about how easy it is to create yer own REALITIES in the damn show... that's what we fuckin' do!!!!

how do I write a letter to myself?

address yourself a letter as 'dear subconscious' and then get to writin'. you're literally sendin' yerself a letter, say whatever ya want in it, write yer secrets, write yer fears, write yer dreams. ask yer subconscious whatcha need to do to get yer dream life guaranteed and ya shall receive. some people may not like the idea of this but, what's the harm in a lil' conversation with yerself and findin' out the answers ya need. It can especially help ya if you've been strugglin' for a while, 'specially with all ya folks out there who've been on yer void journey for multiple years. what better way to get yer answers than to speak to yerself through yer own mind... wah, that sounds fuckin' coconuts but I stand by it.

essentially, this is just a combo of commandin' yer subconscious and scriptin', that's not hard at all. and who said ya gotta handwrite it? ya can type it out on yer phone or even yer computer if ya want, do whatever feels good and allows ya to write out yer guts and frustration. after that, ya can relax and see what happens next. that's all in this post! thanks for readin' and I hope ya get the answers ya seek! until next time!~

p.s. this ain't a challenge, it's just another way to get to know what you need to do to accomplish your dreams as the individual creator of yer reality. you'll know when yer answers come. hell, might even come to ya in the middle of the night or even in a random movie in the form of a quote that is far too relatable to yer situation ya decided to sit down and watch one day. kinda like what happened with me... hehe.

[iridescentscarecrow]

// csm 163 spoilers but

have mentioned earlier the unusual gravity of the gendered references the past few chapters. eyepatch's mini-monologue around adultery, the possessed woman-icon equation (for example: fans engaging with denji, barem engaging with makima. the idol whose purity is valued). on screen again we see marriage mentioned in reference to an idol.

"kissing and sex count as adultery," the fan claims. constraining certain forms of intimacy as explicitly meaningful within gendered structure ---- here made present rules -- the same rules governing relationships that nayuta in her role as control and also the location of [family] sets down in order for denji to bring the Woman (asa) home. the same rules that yoru violates for asa through the kiss, the kiss that's overwritten out of narrative by control's memory modification.

"i can't sleep at night, suicidal thoughts" this torment experienced by the fan. gendered structure renders asa outside the narrative frame and we see her discuss her darkest thoughts with yoru. viewing this alongside her concurrent inability to occupy the protagonist role, her emptiness when confronted with denji (associated with her through gender role "boyfriend"/"csm's woman") makes this feel significant. she is pushed into the role of the fan.

"i keep asking myself who to blame." - the requisition of blame and justice that underly conversations with both yuko and eyepatch. and asa's cat and criminal. who will she next weaponise? who will yuko channel her anger at the system through? external assignment of blame.

the channel concludes that the proof of adultery is someone's editing & ends up believing in the idol. this idolatry obscures the horrific news of the everyday. becomes a wholesome story of sorts -- Horror because narrative construction is sth fjmt problematises. they all feel like they're dreaming when confronted with the narrative absurdity of it! it confounds them. an analogue can be drawn here between denji not showing up for the date, & nayuta's memory editing.

it hints at something, something perhaps even commenting metatextually on how the fandom views asa & denji's relationship. i'm not sure if this means anything re: the story's direction in itself. but i think dreams are important because they occur in consonance with the In world narrative (of blame, of storytelling) & this is something kiga employs with hunger too!

also thinking about how these dreams are dealt with in this chapter. this is more of a tonal observation but i find it interesting how their cacophonies jarr against each other, one after another, a hollowness and unfinishedness that frustrates. this culminates in ball kicking -- a reiteration of part one: there an easy revenge based upon himeno's death, a revenge of apportioning blame, of externalities. here the violence is turned upon the idolised body of the CSM, denji -- all within a space that conjures up similarities to the eternity devil arc: making manifest the cyclical form inherent to chainsaw man's themes.

[4dkellysworld]

Hi Kelly, I currently am really lost in my "journey" and busy studying, how will I be able to realize Self if I'm always identifying with being a girlfriend, student, daughter and a friend... Ik it looks like I'm complaining and it might be true but life is different to everyone, maybe this isn't for me. Personally, manifestation, AV y ND, was and is a rabbit hole... This past summer I decided to let go of everything and behave "normally" again, always following the hipotetic rule of "do A to get B" and I think it's working fine, life is boring as it was before. However I also really want to know self, experience it and finally understand my true nature, but I guess it will take a bit longer. Thanks for your posts

I used to think like that too until I realized it was all ego (as usual). Ego wants full realization now and gets frustrated when it can't drop its identification. During the times I was in that state of mind, I got nowhere. Sure you can go back to the world but it won't truly fulfill you, we're all looking for Self where it's not - in the world. Eventually, you'll come back to this and then be faced with the same conundrum.

Maybe it works for some but I can only speak with my own experiences. Trying to force myself to think/see 'I am not the body' straight off the bat didn't work no matter how hard I tried. However, being open to that possibility without believing nor disbelieving, and then doing spiritual practice to drop more and more ego eventually allowed me to come to that realization. It took patience. Kindness. Allowing things to just be. Accepting things as they are. Surrender. Faith. It happens when it happens. I stopped caring *when* I would be realized, I stopped looking for signs of progress and results. I stopped comparing myself to other's experiences. I stopped getting frustrated that I "wasn't there yet" and stopped defining and labelling where I was at which allowed me peace in the present moment. I just practiced because the practice itself was freeing me more and more. Then one day I found myself (the ego identity) to be quite changed, just things I could not put into words, things that are only intuitively felt but so completely throughout my whole being. Then I understood what the masters meant when they say not to look at time and that everything will happen on its own accord. The disidentification happens on its own as you let go of ego.

So I'd say perhaps you're going about it the wrong way.

If you don't feel ready to completely detach from ego, that's okay too, no judgment there - many people are not. You can work on letting go of whatever limitations you can without trying to give up the ego entirely. Everything has its own time and place. Let things be. It's not something you can force anyway, everyone comes to that decision of their own volition eventually.

I'd recommend that you stop resisting the fact that you have all these identifications, that does nothing to drop them. Just find the practices that work for you and keep dropping ego. Things will happen on their own. Also I recommend reading this and this (or the whole tag) on why mental purification (dropping ego concepts) is important and necessary. It looks like there's too much expectation in general on being able to drop the entire body and mind identification with a single thought but most people will not be able to do this. If you're unable to wipe the mind completely and drop those thoughts that are attached to the dream itself, then dropping the ego through mental purification is how you make progress. This allows more and more of Self to shine through.

Use the mind to investigate the manifested. Be like the chick that pecks at the shell. Speculating about life outside the shell would have been of little use to it, but pecking at the shell breaks the shell from within and liberates the chick. Similarly, break the mind from within by investigation and exposure of its contradictions and absurdities. - Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That

[poemnic-tarot]

Channeled Message from Your Soulmate’s Higher Self

(Disclaimer : This is a general reading please only take what resonate. For entertainment purposes only)

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 1🌠 “Twin flames”

“I want to acknowledge your mastery of your own emotions. I love that you’ve learned not to control or shame your emotion but accept them for what they are. Your inner strength really shine through and it wasn’t easy so I want to congratulate you on that hard earned achievement, my love. Now your emotion can’t hold you back anymore from taking action. They do not dictate what you can or cannot do because frankly, there is nothing you can’t achieve in this world. You can basically manifest anything.

You are very intuitive and even psychic when we first met and I noticed that about you. I was surprised by how much you were able to pick up on. My feeling particularly because I was not that expressive. You’ve showed me how to balance between true inspired action and just doing things for the sake of doing it. It was hard for me to give something up or abandoned things I’ve started, even when I know it was passed due to do so. Leaving things,letting go of attachment is hard for me. I am the type to keep on reading a book or watching a movie till the end even when I am dead bored of them. There’s no reason for me to continue but there wasn’t a reason for me to leave either. So I’m stuck I guess, I’m very good at getting myself stuck, in the middle, hanging in- between staying or going. But you told me you found that endearing for some reason and gently took my hand and guide me out of my self- imposed prison. You have helped me heal my wound of abandonment, maybe that’s why it was hard to say goodbye to things and leave them, even though they do not serve me anymore.

I admire your sense of adventure, you are the most expressive person I’ve ever met. Even if you don’t know that about yourself. I feel quite a strong kinship with you, like this is not our first rodeo on this earth. Perhaps, we often have more adventures in our dreams, I know I do dreamt of you quite often. I just want to let you know that I love you, I love who are and who you were and who you are trying to become. Every versions of you amazed me cause your true strength alway shines through every time and I will alway recognised your bright essence anywhere.”

Love,

Your Soul Family

Signs: Rose, Lion/big cats, 111, Infinity, Pine trees,Crescent Moon

Love Quotes: "In the end, we all just want someone that chooses us over everyone else under any circumstances."

Song: I See the Light from Tangle

“….And at last I see the light

And it’s like the fog has lifted

And at last I see the light

And it’s like the sky is new

And it’s warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything looks different

Now that I see you

Love Poem verse : Twin flames by @cant-find-my-name

…I recognised negative traits needed

To be discard,

When we met, I think I’ve found myself

The missing piece, part of my soul

Ah, you’re my Twin flames

When I met you I know

We’re one and the same

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 2🍄 If Magic Was Real

"I hope you are taking time to fully sit in your emotions and grieve. It is okay to express your emotion, in fact, it is crucial if you need to cry or break down or just lose it emotionally. Give yourself that permission to do so. You might think that it's strong of you to keep it together for the sake of others or yourself. That it is so mature of you to do so but darling, there need to be a balance. You need to heal but you won't be able to heal if you won't let yourself feel all of your sadness. If you need to cry, cry it out I will be here with you. You are not alone in your sorrows. I would like to give this song to you, maybe it would help "Chiquitita by Cher". It seem you have broken a feather but don't worry, we will try to patch it up together.

I want to tell you that a renewal is coming to you. It was a hard chapter that you just experienced and I hate seeing you pretending to be fine. But your sad eyes is not fooling anyone. It is okay to be sad,to be angry, to let it all out ( in a healthy way not in a self destructive way please). I admired you for holding it together for this long, but more than anything, I want you to let go. Be vulnerable with yourself, I think that is the most beautiful thing. Witness the spectrum of human emotions, it is beautiful. It is time to rest in your nest for awhile until you’re able to fly again. Take all the time that you need, grieve all that there is, broken relationships, friendships, nostalgia. Whatever it is, I am alway there. Listen to music because I love sending you messages through these songs, it has really helped me through my hard time. So I’m hoping music could be a little comfort to you at this time. Take some time for yourself love, cause you definitely need it. Trust me that the sun will rise once more, and all that happened will just been a hard learned lesson and you’ve definitely learn a lot from it.

I know that the real you is not a sad person. You are the most vibrant, radiant, happiest soul I know. And sadness doesn’t suit you one bit, as well as pretending to be happy. You shine best when you are true to your feeling. Winter is over and I cannot wait to welcome you back into the season of spring.”

Love,

Your Soulmate

Signs: Black feathers, birds, 55, Tears drop

Love Quote : “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Song : Chiquitita by Cher

Chiquitita, tell me the truth

I’m a shoulder you can cry on

Your best friend, I’m the one you must rely on

You were alway sure of yourself

Now, I see you’ve broken a feather

I hope we can patch it up together

Love Poem verse: If Magic Was Real by @cant-find-my-name

.. The world seem kind

When you’re around

To believe again

Is easy

When you’re with me

If Magic is real

It is where you’ll be

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 3🫧 I’ll Never Forget

“You’re working so hard and so am I. We’re trying to do our own work, slowly building strong foundation for the future. Maybe out of fears than anything. This anxiety to keep on going, to do better and better, to improve, constantly striving for a better future. I get it, I feel it too, however, if we keep on going like this eventually our life forces will run out. And physically we can become ill and I really don’t want that for you. So I’m here to let you know that you can slow down, what you feared will not come true. Your deep, dark fears will not come alive. If you think you can’t stop because you think that the fears you feel will transpire. No, it will not, you’ve work hard enough. Outwardly and internally, I’ve watched you tried and tried and alway striving to do better. To be better, but honey, you are already enough for me. You alway will be, regardless of what you did or what you didn’t do or what you will do. I will alway believe that your existence alone is enough for me. To sooth my soul, to lift my spirit up. You don’t have to do anything for me, I am happy just to be with you, to exist with you, to be by your side and bath in your lovely presence

I know you have struggled from a lack mentality, I don’t know if you notice that about yourself. And that is nothing to be ashamed of , I‘m struggling with it too. I understand how you feel, no matter how much you have or how much you do, you just feel it’s never enough. True abundance come from the inside. And you are already enough with the proof that your heart beats for you, the blood flowing in your vein is proof that we meant to exist here as we are. No more, no less.

Please rest assured love, and take a break once in a while. Do something that’s not related to work. I want you to practice winding down, practice letting go and relaxing. No one ever teach us how to truly relax and it is a skill, it doesn’t come naturally to us and we can help each other relax. We can practice together, practice just existing without shame or guilt, or a pit in our stomach that things will go wrong if you don’t do anything. I want you to learned to have fun because when we’re together, it’ll become a skill that will help our relationship a lot. I want to have fun together with you and for you to tell me all about your adventures, your travels and your crazy journey. I can’t wait to just sit down and be with you. Take a vacation with you and have the time of our lives. You are my vacation home.”

Love from,

Your Honey bear

Signs : 88, Roses, Games, Festival, Spider, Designer brand

Love Quote : “I know from that first moment we met. It was not love at first sight exactly but familiarity. Like ‘oh hello’, it’s you. It’s going to be you.”

Song : Voyage by Kep1er

“The sound of waves surging in

Far beyond the horizon

Between the clouds, we going high

Follow me in my way

When the gentle breeze blows

Close your eyes and feel it

We arrived to an unfamiliar island

slowly open your eyes

Love Poem verse: I’ll Never Forget by @cant-find-my-name

Loneliness is a disease

But I think you’ve just cure me,

You make me so happy

I don’t recognise myself,

You warmed my hand

Around your coffee mug

And asked if I’m alright

Your voice sounded worried

And there’s concern sincerity’s in

Your eyes.

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 4🌙Each Night

“Good evening, I hope to meet you again in our dream. I know you dreamed of me and questioned it. Believe in yourself my little star. Your dream is not lying to you. It is alright to hope, to wish, to believe in the impossible. Please don’t think that it’s ridiculous or childish to believe in true love, in soulmate and fairy tales. Because you’re not wrong to hope. Your soulmate exist and you know that but your fears trying to convince you otherwise. I am your soulmate and my message to you is to believe in me. I want to validate your feeling, your extraordinary senses. Your wish in that little star?, I heard it, the universe heard it too and we listen. To all of your wishes and it was not ridiculous of you to wish for love, true love. It is not unrealistic, or rose colour glasses. It is just something that you know you deserve and want to feel. We do not shame or guilt ourself for asking for more love.

I am alway with you, in your dream, in your waking life, in our past lives. That is why you can feel my presence so strongly. It is not just from your imagination. I want to assured you that, it is real. I am as real as the bark of a tree. I can feel you too but truthfully, my 3D self is not as intuitive as you. I tend to brush things off when they don’t make sense, so please don’t be like me.Things doesn’t need to make sense now,it will eventually come together. Unfolding naturally, beautifully. I know you see my signs everywhere and is questioning reality. You are not going mad, just a head up from me. We will meet soon, in a way that you won’t believe. I won’t either but we both know that we wish for this desperately. Earth has been achingly lonely for me. And knowing you exist have helped alleviate the ache a bit. I want you to take your time with life, don’t rush cause when we come together, we can continue this journey together in an even pace,step by step.

Love,

Yours

Signs : North Star, Dove, Diamond shape, Cocoon of a butterfly, 8910, 2020

Love Quotes: “He loves you very much” she said, but more than that, he cares for you. Sometimes love is not as important as truly caring for the other person.

Song : Surefire by John Legend

“Let me breath you in ‘till gravity bends

And we fall through the hole in the light

Make this our kingdom

Somewhere where good love conquers and not

Divides”

Love Poem verse : Each Night by @cant-find-my-name

Oh distance shore

I beg of you

Please no more,

Please don’t keep us apart

I can’t take it

This is destroying my heart,

We are one and it’s time to be

Together again

Next to each other

Hand in Hand

Feel you touch my skin

Smell your scent

I breathe you in………

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Thank you so much for reading!. If this resonate please leave a tip if you like. See you soon!

Check out more of my original poems at @cant-find-my-name .

[thrashkink-coven]

Excellent ritual with Lord Lucifer this evening. It seems Lord Belial has found his way onto my altar. Stolas, Paimon and Kerberos were also eager to make appearances, I sense that I’ll be working more with them very soon. There aren’t enough words to explain how exciting it is to be entering another phase.

This isn’t much of a ritual report, but I did end up writing down a couple things from my trance with them.

“Throughput this ritual, I saw many things and confronted many demons, mainly my fear of stagnation. I ask myself where it comes from and remind myself that I’m okay.”

“I came upon a river in the shadowy dark, it reflected muted light. In this river was an old canoe of some kind, and a robbed figure, perhaps a skeleton, wearing many gold chains, rings, and jewels. In his boat were riches as well. I climbed in the boat and we ventured down the river into a cave, which resembled the female genitalia. Into the void we went, and soon all was black. We came upon a shore, which was lined with sand and I exited the boat and walked deeper into the darkness. When I looked back to the driver of the boat, I knew this was Paimon.”

“I returned to “the desert” (possibly Venus), and began that long, quiet walk deeper into the Void. When I struck the light of Godhood, which was like a match in my hands, around me ignited a bright circle of fire. The circle creates a sigil. Through the flames I could see Him vaguely, and 6s and 7s.”

“In the darkness I see a hole in the sand emanating pearlescent light. It seems far away, but massive like a crater in the earth. I want to jump inside, when I do, I see the King shielding himself in 6 brilliant wings. He outstretches his arm and beckons me closer. In his eyes I see the holy light of the hidden gnosis.”

“He wore ruby red shoes which glimmered like crystal, we shared rich chocolate cake, he kissed it off my lips and cheeks. He demands that I acquire a chalice for my altar, in which we can share drink together daily.”

“The imagery I saw during our discussion of my goals enabled me to formulate a plan to manifest these dreams. It required the aid of Prince Cerberus, keeper of keys, Lord Bune, of enterprises, Lord Paimon, who I saw as a robed figure rowing a boat in a black void, Lord Belial, of Earth, and my own cunning, swiftness, and devotion. Lord Stolas would be there to accompany Lord Cerberus. Lord Bune would aid Belial.”

We channeled this manifestation with the gracious aid of Prince Cerberus. Together we (with Lucifer) merged our purifying energy to charge the manifestation, erupt from my solar plexus to the centre of my third eye, pushing it into motion, so even now if begins to work. Lord Lucifer wraps over me in wisps of smoke erupting from the circle of fire. I see the eyes of the three headed black dog and a mighty weight blanket my body. Naber’s (Cerberus’) teeth and claws restrain me and we are sensually entertwined. My drops of blood are fire which fuel the object of my eye. Lucifer encourages and watches us work together, shining his light down until fire burns to plasma“

“Cerberus acted as the key into the realm of Lord Belial, who I am not familiar with. Lord Belial was very welcoming, extremely responsive, business like. I see a horned figure surrounded in flames, with wide grin, a satisfied demeanour.”

“A sigil was drawn on two leaves of basil and burned whilst channeling Lord Cerberus and Lord Belial”

I then did a tarot reading with Lords Hermes and Lucifer, and Lord Belial. Hermes acted only as an intermediary. Belial made it very clear that he was ready and determined to get started with the work, and I have no objections to this. He was sure to hammer home that the best time is now. He likes the way we work together and sees us having a “fruitful” relationship. He references fruit and trees many times, saying that he produces trees which bare fruit.”

“I leave this ritual feeling hopeful and determined, excited. I enter this new phase with perfect love and perfect trust. So Blessed Be.”

Immediately after the ritual I see it’s effects taking form. I run to grab a notebook to plan out my week, arrange some study material, and give my offerings to my Lords.

Thank you infinitely to the Light Bringer who is always bringing me closer to my goals even when things seem uncertain. I cherish every moment we spend together and will sing your praises forever more. Hail Lucifer! ✴️ Hail thyself! 🔱

[servantofthefates]

There are two kinds of dreams: psychological and prophetic.

The first is a manifestation of our hopes and fears. The second is a message from the divine, our ancestors, or our higher self.

Only you can truly tell which category a dream of yours belongs in.

If you dreamt of a lion chasing you… ask yourself:

“Is there something I am running away from in my life? Responsibilities? A relationship? The past?”

If the answer is yes, then the dream is only psychological. A creative narration of what your mind is currently preoccupied with.

But if after having investigated yourself, you discovered that you have in fact been living bravely… facing your fears… chasing your goals… then your dream is prophetic.

Perhaps you will be attacked by a Leo personality at work, in school or in your family.

When it comes to dreams of possession, these should be the questions:

“Is there someone in my life who is trying to wield their power over me? Are my parents pushing their beliefs on me? Is my boyfriend asking me to change my personality? Do I catch myself mimicking my friends’ behavior?”

If the answer is yes, then your dream is only psychological. You are feeling powerless and afraid of losing a part of yourself because of the influence of someone else.

But if the answer is no… if you feel you have complete control over who you are, and you feel safe in your power… then your dream is prophetic.

Perhaps there is an entity who will try to gain control of your body.

[marketfreshfics]

Em! If you're still taking poem requests, can I please ask for a female MC confessing their feelings for one of the boys? I love them all 🥰💖

Well, thank you for the dealer's choice. Truth be told, I wrote this a while ago for @ask-ominis, however, I cannot for the life of me recall if I sent it or not? Fantastic short-term memory on this one. Regardless, I enjoyed writing this so I'd love to share it here as well PS: audio cover photo by the lovely @dvinaamesca

Ominis,

It was always your patience for me.

Not your charm, though I suppose the two collaborate. You might have imagined your subtle dry remarks would be what caught my focus, your clever wit pulling grins. 

Or perhaps the wisdom you share when least expected, catching me unprepared, but always eager to listen.

No, instead it’s the time you spend simply waiting. 

For me to find a page in a textbook, sharing yours when I forget mine.  For me to finish breakfast when I’m teased for eating slowly.  For my tears to dry when I receive terrible news.

And I’ll keep with the theme of honest confessions. There are moments I steal a glance or two because your eyes, despite their drawn curtains, command a blend of awe and attention. 

I imagine someone gathered all the constellations they could carry and threw them to the wind,  landing in your irises,  caught in your lashes. 

Time is rendered priceless; easy to spend with you, and your sweetness lingers long after your presence, 

like fingers perfumed citrus after a clementine is peeled,  or heavy honey dredged up from the bottom of a tea gone cold.

But for all the kindness you offer, I notice now how empty the well you draw from becomes.

You hesitate to admit struggling, but I see the tells; bleary eyes framed by dark recesses, chapped lips bitten bloody,  chewed fingernails catching on your sleeves. 

The pain manifests in a controlled consumption from a voracious maw of your very blood.

All standards and expectations and daunts of Gaunts before you,  a decorum and propriety for archaic institutions, a plot you cease to play, and no love lost for those loved ones.

It seems this lifetime was never patient with you. And yet, you deserve all the patience of a lifetime.

This feeling, I confess, fascinates just as much as it terrifies; it’s no meager blossom in my chest but a tower collapsing in on itself, 

all massive  and loud  and chaotic. 

Still I hesitate, wary of the naivety in my chest and the musings of dreams, influential as they may be. 

So I send this, eager to know how your heart beats near me, wrapped in the taut cream and roses of your skin. 

And I wonder, quietly, innocently, if I may feel it.

I never thought I’d find myself content with waiting. So virtuous that patience is, after all.

[capcoochie]

“Blind that which can see”

Wip Wednesday!!!! (except is Thursday shhhhh)

I’ve been having so many ideas lately and have so many chapters for a canon compliant elriel fic, I have multiple chapters but not a real overarching plot quite just yet. here’s a little snippet & a little mood board for it.

I’m wading through cold inky shadows. The air is thick with it, but in the distance I can see bright specks. perhaps they are lanterns? The farther I wade into the black depths the brighter they get. no they aren’t lanterns at all, they look like stars. a 6 pointed star, I’m just about to reach out and grab it when I’m suddenly hauled back back back to the beginning of this dark hole. only instead of standing on my feet I’m falling backwards. Falling falling down down down, no not falling I’m sinking deeper into the depths of darkness like swimming in deep water. I’m sure I’m screaming but sound seems to hold no weight in the place. I close my eyes and count, one two three four�� and then my body is hurtling through open air my screams now ringing out as air rushes past me. I still can’t see it is so dark here, and with a crack i hit solid earth but I do not feel pain. when I can orient myself I realize it is not longer dark here, but it is night time. the stars above are reflecting off of…. Water. with a look to my right I see dense woods, and before I can look elsewhere something crashes from the brush causing me to jump into action. I’m running as fast as my legs will carry me around the outer edge of what I now see is a lake. an evil presence lurks at my back and a hoarse croaking laugh follows me closely. My breaths saw in and out me as I sprint, my legs on the verge of giving out. I’ve almost rounded the lake when dozens of hands shoot up from the water and grab at my ankles. clawing against the mud and reeds I beg for anyone to save me from whatever creature is sure to be holding me. my legs are in, my torso, and right when I’m about to take my last breath, right when my head is about to go under the water I look up to see the stars one last time. a voice outside of my self bellows, “HES COMING BEAUTIFUL FAWN. HE CAN BLIND THAT WHICH CAN SEE. WAKE. WAKE. WA-“

I’m jolted upright on a gasp of breath. When I look around I’m calmed to see that my room is just as it was when I fell asleep. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. I am safe, I am home. My nightgown clings to my skin along with a sheen of sweat. I pull my damp sweat coated hair into a hand and with a grumble flip the blankets off of me. I don’t know what to make of this newest dream, or vision? it has been the same for three nights now. it doesn’t take a genius or a warrior to sort out the fact it has something to do with koschei. Even thinking his name leaves my skin crawling. But it is not important today because it is the commencement of summer solstice. after Nestas forcible entry into the bloodrite along with her fellow Valkyrie’s, the birth of my nephew, and then the arrival and swift departure of Bryce Quinlan, we decided as a family we needed something good to celebrate. a night free of thinking of what has happened, and what is to come.

I turn to head to my bathing chambers when a shadow walks through my wall. I stifle a scream with a hand to my chest as nuala and cerridwen enter my room. With a small smile nuala says, “ good morning Elain. We… both of us I mean heard screaming and were worried something had happened.”

Cutting in before I can respond Cerridwen begins to analyze me “you need to tell the others of the dreams you are having, your secrets are always safe with us but.. you look more dreadful each morning that passes with them plaguing you. I fear it is not a good omen, perhaps-“

“I am fine!” a blink of surprise from both of the shadow wraiths at my raised voice causes me to soften a bit. “I’m sorry, I am truly okay. There is no need to worry. Since we’ve begun my training I’m sure Its just my abilities manifesting. I will talk to them, please just… I will tell them when I’m ready I promise.” With that I turn my back to them and head to the bathing room, “ I need to bathe and dress but I’ll be down shortly.”

I close my eyes and rest my head on the bathing chamber door once it snicks closed behind me. I’m not sure how long I can keep such a thing to myself.

[teeth--thief]

Photos of Lyonyd (Leonid?…) Toptunov? I wouldn’t mind rambling on him, also.

- Rodka

I deliberately saved this ask for last (sort of). As a treat for myself and as a threat for everyone else ♡ And for @ur-favorite-basil-enthusiast since he was also interested in seeing The Collection.

I'll have to split this into a few parts - dreaful, I know! - because I can only add 10 pictures to one post while on mobile =( I'll keep reblogging with additional pictures till I run out of things to share. Subscribe for more insane content in the future and don't forget to click that bell icon to...

Part 1

He had manifested to me in a dream when I first started researching Chernobyl, have I ever mentioned that? Well, he has. Which was truly an anomaly because I almost never have any dreams at all... but about that some other time, perhaps.

I am going to put the pictures of him under the cut so nobody gets jumpscared by my Collection of Five Billion White Guy Pictures. And I'll also include some relevant information! Or as relevant as I can make it, at least.

Just to be clear (and safe): I found all of these out in the wild, on da internet. I am, however, pretty sure that at least the collage of his pics from uni times is from @/toptunovleonid on Instagram. So, just to be very clear: all credit for at least that goes to her.

Semi-chronologically, his pictures go like this:

Ignoring that one picture that is barely visible and out of frame in a few pictures of the photo album it's in, because he looks about 10 there and I feel slightly weird about sharing it specifically.

We're in... Tallinn, middle school number 11!

Second boy from the left in the second picture is him. That is he. He who was 15 then. And a 16 year old Lyonya in the left picture, of course.

From this time, one of his classmates remembers him as follows: At school he was quiet, unnoticeable, very shy. I remember he was always hanging out with younger kids. He was chubby. They'd now say he was a "nerd". Alright, we get it, he was a sweet child... Teen? Both? Or was he like this all his life? Either way, please stop before I die from all that sugar...

He's (10th grade) the guy leading the little girl (1st grade). His shapeless hair has charmed me. What's his hair routine and will it work on my curls? Mhm, didn't think so. And first in the second row from the bottom in the small pictures, in case you can't recognise his face yet.

As a bonus - his school certificate from the school in Tallinn he attended until graduating in 1977:

The grades were from 2 (you didn't pass with that one, so that's an F) to 5 (an A, I suppose?). So as you can see, he certainly studied well. What a nerd (affectionately).

Uni territory now! Moscow calling 📞 or, rather, Obninsk and the MEPhI

If you weren't born in any of the USSR countries during The Soviet Times, it'll come as a surprise to you but the students had mandatory... field... work... classes...? if you can call them that. They had them digging potatoes and what not. Nothing screams socialist spirit like making uni students do free labour in the field, I guess?

Pictures with his uni girlfriend, how cuuute! (And Sasha Korol hanging from the roof in the background... for reasons unknown)

Lyonya pretending to drive a combine harvester. And next to him, obviously, Sasha Korol. When I first saw this picture, I thought he was on some kind of a scaffolding but alas - it's one of those old beasts, like our Bizon. But that's not a Bizon because those had roofs. Nobody here cares for USSR combines talk - not even me - let's move on.

Not too sure when these two are from but they look uni enough to me - probably from the very beginning and sometime closer to the end, judging by his stache doing significantly better...

Mandatory military service because a REAL MAN in the USSR needed to know how to shoot a gun, obviously. Even when that meant military service interrupted your uni for a short while. I say that as if no other countries before or after had mandatory army time... don't question it, I'm doing a bit.

Lyonya is second in top row in the picture on the left and third from the left in the top row in the other pic. Korol is there, too, he's fourth from the left in the top row in the first picture and second from the right in the bottom row in the other picture.