#perfect for an episode all about them getting to know eachother again after being apart for so long and finding how they still fit together

[lucystolethesky]

wild blue & orange yonder

[thesoappope]

My thoughts on Chaggie/ Charlie x Vaggie

Before we begin, no this isn't a "I hate chaggie post" and no I will not be hating on those who ship it either. Rather this is just my thoughts on chaggie at the moment.

So, I'm just gonna say it, Chaggie is my OTP. Not because it is perfection, but because it's in my opinion one of the most interesting relationship canon/noncanon, I love both the characters in the relationship, and any moment of intimacy (not just kisses and such but any intimacy that reads as romantic) is cute. And with that I want to talk about the relationship so far.

Now I've been seeing people say their relationship is toxic or unhealthy, and to that I say...that's a bit strong. Let me explain. So because hazbin is kinda speedrunning it's plot (which I understand bc limitations on episodes and seasons green lit) we don't get to deeply know all the characters and specifics on why they make certain choices and how they ended up the way they did so we have to rely on the broad and limited information provided in each episode.

Based on the 6 episodes released, we can tell Charlie is very optimistic, to a fault at times, passionate, a go getter with some direction, very empathetic, ablivious at times, and ultimanty wants to be a leader but lacks the confidence and authority (despite begin a princess bc we love the royal that doesn't know how to rule troupe, genuinely) to be one.

Vaggie on the other hand, is like Charlie, very kind, but isn't as willing to put faith in a person till they've proven they deserve it, protective, loyal, good intended, not very trusting, lacks confidence, and dependent on Charlie.

Now when you put these two together, while the two do help eachother supplement what the other lacks, whether through reassurance, doing what the other can't or doesn't want to do, or giving the other what they need at the moment, even if that isn't them, it's clear who relies more on the other. After it's revealed how Vaggie and Charlie met, it really reframes Vaggie's character. No longer is she just a slightly insecure girlfriend who just wants to make sure her partner is happy and is being supportive and good enough to her, she's now a character who has bad identity issues. I mean can you blame her?! Her whole life disappeared in an instance and started all over when Charlie found her. I imagine they haven't really been apart since then except for a couple hours maybe, but never for days or longer. And being with someone for so long especially in an unfamiliar place, of course you become attached to them. Add Charlie basically saving Vaggie's life, there's an imbalance there. A feeling of indebtedness even if Charlie never said Vaggie owed her bc wow that would be way out of character.

Now as I mentioned before, Charlie is a bit ablivious to certain things, she's especially ablivious to how vaggie feels and what she's going through. Now that's not entirely her fault, she didn't know Vaggie was an angel and that Vaggie may feel indebted to her for saving her life, but also it's clear Charlie doesn't understand social cues and again, because of her trust in Vaggie, she'd assume Vaggie would tell her anything that was wrong or bothering her since the contrary just isn't something established in there relationship. And if Vaggie didn't want to talk about something she'd say it, not lie. Like in all honesty I think Charlie won't be upset by Vaggie being an angel, but rather hiding it. Now it may sound like alot to ask of Vaggie, but again, Charlie is under the impression that Vaggie would be explicit about what to talk and not talk about. Also Charlie may be hurt because she may feel like Vaggie doesn't trust her enough or think she wouldn't accept her. So I get both sides.

So to me there relationship feels like any relationship, complicated. The relationship Itself isn't unhealthy, but some of the actions of the two involved aren't healthy or the best. Don't think I forgot about Charlie being pushy at times, I understand why she does it, but combine it with her abliviousness it's not so great. I definitely think Charlie and Vaggie can bounce back and maybe the two can have a moment together that helps the two be better together and separate. Which brings me to another thing I'd like to talk about.

My hope for Chaggie in the future is this. In the next episode, the two give eachother space, and they hangout with people in the hotel. I like the idea of Vaggie, Husk, and or Angel hanging out. Charlie and Lucifer or Charlie, Sir Pentious, Husk, or Angel spending time with her. Then half way or 3 quarters through the episode Vaggie and Charlie have a moment together after talking and hangingout with the others, talk about it/maybe apologize, make up, and have there first kiss in the show (other gestures like their foreheads touching or noses touching or a combination of gestures work as well). Then of course setting up for the 8th episode.

Another thought I had, is also the two trying to act as if nothing happened, they continue with there plans with the hotel, then when everyone notices the obvious tension, while they want to prepare for the extermination, they also want to figureout/help Vaggie and Charlie get through what ever happened. Then I imagine they either try doing the exercises and such Charlie plans but secretly use it as a way to help Charlie and Vaggie, in the end Vaggie or Charlie blow up. Shit goes down and then they make up. Or it's still not working so they try getting the two away from eachother by saying they need help with stuff, talking to them, then the two make up. Or one last one I swear, Vaggie or Charlie say to take a break from this. Everyone does, Charlie and Vaggie talk or argue. Walk different ways, Vaggie stays at the hotel and Charlie leaves the hotel. After the two end up figuring shit out, I like to think Charlie got into some shit, Vaggie saves her, they talk as they deal with the trouble Charlie's in, make up, and have an intimate moment.

Now the last thing I wat to say is kinda related but not, so if you came just for Chaggie you can leave. Anyways, with the current state of chaggie (especially with the lack of typical romantic intimacy) I noticed people shipping Charlie x Emily. And while yes I see it, personally I don't ship it just because they've only met in episode 6, they're too similar, and in my opinion, I like them as friends. With that being said, I do like them together so long as Charlie is still with Vaggie. Like I just love Charlie and Vaggie together so much, I don't want them to split. So either I'd have them as a throuple, or Charlie is dating them both but Emily and Vaggie are just friends. Either one is a pretty interesting shipping dynamic and great for fanfiction. Also just to clarify, I'm not hating on Emily x Charlie, it's just not one I'm strong about. So if you like it, more power to you. And you know what, I'll probably still look at content of it anyways cause even if it isn't my fav it's still cute.

Uh anyways, I hope you enjoyed my word vomit and thoughts? Idk how to end this...uh goodbye!

[flowerbloom-arts]

Mymble please

Pffffffuuuhhhhhh... Mymbleeee... Mymble... Maybe it's mymbeline... I don't wanna disappoint since I know you're a big ol' fan of the big lady so I'll give it my best.

First impression: "Ohhhhhhh big lady, big lady cool, she's funny. Face is kinda weird tho."

To be honest I don't really remember my initial opinion of her, I think she kinda... Popped into my consciousness when she was introduced in the first episode of the 2019 series and stayed there quietly as I didn't take much interest in her story. She was nice and oblivious and a little funny and then I was forgetful about her as much as she was forgetful of Little My.

Impression now: "Big lady's cool, but didn't have the mysterious intrigue or really lovable personality for me to fixate on her at any point."

If my lack of Mymble content's proven anything it's that I'm... Not super interested in her, but I suppose I still haven't given her a big shot at trying to figure her out as a person, then again I have alot of characters I'm really interested in already so I don't quite have the room for her until I feel motivated enough to shove her into my brain space. But I don't know, maybe there's something there to be had with her near-mysterious backstory that is left untouched by the fandom (I don't read fanfiction but that's what I'm getting I suppose). Maybe I should look into her more at some point.

Favorite moment: The iconic "pouring lemonade on the kids to stop them from fighting" is the most memorable part of her character taken straight out of the comics, I think it shows alot about her character in that yes she's kinda oblivious or willfully ignorant of what her kids do alot but she has enough experience to deal with them quickly and easily if it gets out of hand. Makes you wonder what other tricks she has up her sleeves in child discipline.

My other favorite moment is from the comics where Little My bites one of Mrs. Fillyjonk's kids and Mrs. Fillyjonk's like "Your smallest child just bit one of mine!!" and Mymble's like "Well you should teach them how to fight better :)" while she's knitting. The smug side eye expression of Mymble's is too perfect.

Idea for a story: I think an exploration of her backstory is in order. Perhaps she was one of many Mymble children like her own offspring, maybe her family wasn't so lucky and her siblings kept dying/disappearing/being unsuccessful, whatever the case may be. I think there's a friendship she could've had with young Fuzzy as they both lived on Jones' island, maybe they started drifting apart as Fuzzy became quiet and disciplined from her family after she got in trouble big time and Mymble became more outgoing as her flirty Mymble instincts kicked in and started having children.

Unpopular opinion: I'm not... All too familiar with opinions or characterizations of Mymble. I guess I could say she wouldn't be too attached to Joxter as a lover in my opinion? I don't quite ship them terribly atleast as a long-term domestic romantic relationship especially since it doesn't seem to have worked that way with Mymble's other lovers, they could work amazing as friends though, being absolutely care-free creatures who (accidentally?) stir up trouble with their combined obliviousness and love for fun.

Favorite relationship: I think Mymble and Little My have something there. Mymble is very much an enabler and My is the leader of the newest batch of Mymbles, but opinions on eachother may be up in the air. What does Little My think of her mother? Does Mymble pay much mind to Little My as the rest of her kids or is there a more distinct feelings towards her physically smallest adult daughter? Do they love eachother actively or is it really just a super passive familial love, if they love eachother at all? There's something to think about with them!

Favorite headcanon: There's alot of theories/interpretation of Mymble's antennae out there. Some draw it as a general Mymble characteristic (even though only Mymble is shown with them only in Memoirs), others think it's a Mymble puberty/adult thing; I personally think it's a Mymble pregnancy thing to indicate when a Mymble is ready to have more children (has antennae = already pregnant/can't reproduce more at the moment, doesn't have antennae = ready to reproduce)

I hope this is satisfactory for you!

[toomanyfandoms02]

Living with Matthew Gray Gubler during quarantine would include...

@drspencr did a Spencer Reid version of this! (You should read it, its adorable) So I decided to do an MGG version (with permission ofc).

- 2 weeks into quarantine and he was already planning Halloween costumes.

- Yes, it was still March

- You knew that the man whistled but man was that his favorite pastime lately. Lost count of how many songs you've had stuck in your head courtesy of your lovely boyfriend

- There was quite a scare about a month in

- Matthew had a BAD cold and you had thought for sure that you were part of an unlucky bunch who had caught it

- But after two days and 4 bowls of Chicken Noodle Soup, his cough had ceased and he was back to being his normal dumbass self

- He has you posing in numerous weird ways for his abstract and odd ways of drawing

- These soon filled up one of your walls in the bedroom

- If anyone were to see that wall, they would probably think you guys were insane or something but in reality, you were just so bored

- You had both done quite the kimono modelling/photoshoot

- Seeing you in a kimono got him a little excited if ya know what I mean

- But that's a story for another time

- Though it was a constant reminder when he would place the scandalous polaroids around the house where he knew you would find them

- He begs you to let him buy a Kimono Dragon

- Which you correct him, because it's komodo

- And you obviously say no, because where would you keep that thing??

- "The closet babe!!"

- "For the LAST time. Komodo Dragon baby. Not Kimono. He cannot sleep and eat and live safely in a closet. Do you want your kimonos ripped to shreds?"

- He pouts for a bit

- You had listened to the Alvin and the Chipmunks version of 'Funky Town' so many times that you sung it in a very high pitched voice naturally now

- Popping in on zoom calls with the Criminal Minds cast

- Helping Matthew come up with new ideas for his stuffed animals

- "What about a Walrus!"

- "Yes perfect! I can make his little tusks. It'll be so cute! Thank you!"

- Smooches

- On a more HORNY note

- Remember all those times where Matthew was filming and there was NEVER time to get laid

- Well, now is the time

- And trust me, you took advantage of it

- There were finally days were you could just stay in bed and be with eachother

- Matthew loved cuddling, he was so grateful that he didn't have to stay six feet away from you

- Because he could barely stay six inches away from you

- "So much for social distance." You mumbled between kisses

- "There is no fucking way I could handle that."

- Making him a Rumple Buttercup mask

- He nearly cried when you gave it to him

- Begging him for a whole week to binge Criminal Minds with you

- "Please, please, please? I just wanna watch my baby in action!"

- Truth be told you hadn't been able to watch the show fully. Just a few episodes here and there

- "Why watch that when I'm right here?"

- He ended up giving in and watching it with you. Pointing out the ones he directed, making you love them 6x more

- There was oh so much baking

- The amount of brownies you had stored in your freezer for later was sinful

- It was a good thing that you guys didn't live in an apartment building or have extremely close neighbors because music was blasting so often

- There was so much dancing

- You had warned him to not dislocate his knee again while dancing

- Which was the real reason he had to be on crutches in season 5

- At one point he had you put on his, as the fans called them, director scarves

- That was another great fashion show for the polaroid camera

- Having socially distant picnics with his family

- Watching the classical horror movies that he loves

- So you buy him some of The Shining merch on amazon

- Not only watching horror movies, but watching Disney movies

- Matthew is not secretive for his love of Disney movies

- And Star Wars

- Him doing magic for you and only showing you how to do about 2 of the tricks because ya know

- A magician never reveals his secrets

- You rolled your eyes numerous times at this

- Taking long baths together

- Let's just say the bathroom was steamy for more than just one reason

- Taking over his twitter for a day and saying weird shit

- But later posting a picture of you

- "Can we please pick a stray dog off of the street? I need another living thing here."

- "Only if we can call it Edgar."

- "As in 'Allen Poe'?"

- "Duh."

- Wearing so many of his clothes

- Like

- So many

- And maybe putting him in one of your shirts just to see him in a crop top

- It was a little hotter than you expected

- Making him read Rumple Buttercup to you more than once

- You just love it so much

- "And that's when Rumple realized, everyone was weird!"

- You may or may not have put makeup on the poor man

- He was so reluctant but when he saw himself in the mirror

- "Damn I am SMOKIN!"

- Making youtube videos because he "needs content" and "is bored"

- When you had moved in, you brought your PS4, this had Sims 4 on it

- You made your family on it

- He insisted on getting a dog

- "We are living out the real dream! Look at all the tiny Gubes y/n! Look at 'em!"

- Life is a never-ending hug with this man

- And that's how you liked it

- You wouldn't wanna be stuck in the house with anyone else.

Doesn't nearly do a justice compared to the QUEENS but I enjoyed making it. Hope you guys liked it too. Requests are open!! (You can also request for a full fic of one of these plot points 👀)I JUST REACHED 100 FOLLOWERS WHAT DO I DO

[floxalopex]

Why, to me, Adora didn't solve her trauma. Or at least, it was supposed to be only about that. Spoiler: anti Catradora and anti Glimbow. Please, this are just my opinions. Don't wish my death. These ships are canon anyways so yhhhh you won, ok? Everything is fine 🌈

Yh, I'm doing this very depressing, very akward and inappropriate post at last. With of course, a lot of self-centered story nobody wants to hear because I need examples to explain emotions. Hi.

So. I don't hate Catra. I vibe with her a lot. But I can't stand when people erase Adora's trauma saying Catra's was worse. Everyone has the right to experience their own sorrow. Pain is a subjective feeling.

I was always the Catra while my sister was the Adora. I was the nd who needed to go to the psychotherapist causing my family to spend money, not to mention other healt problems. My sister doesn't even wear glasses. I took three attempts to get a stupid car license and still have panic attacks when I need to drive. My sister is a talented pilot. I was more good at school than her, but she was always better at living. And you can't change that with anything.

Still, I never hated her. Nor was I jelous. I awlays loved her and will always do. We are very different but we balance eachother. You may think that she got it easy. She didn't.

My parents are amazing. And I love them, they never raised a hand on me. But it was hard. It's hard to love a kid everyone depicts as "creepy", "not normal". But they did.

I watched the episode with Catra and Adora's childhood flashback with my sister. We had goosebumps. Before that I believed I was the only one suffering, while in reality I wasn't. It's not easy being the "golden child", "the normal one" either. My sister was so used to being referred as "the non weird one" that she developed a very closed personalty. She is a ray of sunshine, always smiling, but she won't tell anyone if she is feeling bad. She has to be perfect. She has to be all right all the time. I tell her to open up, at least with me, but it's not easy.

Trauma can have many faces. And honestely I blame myself I lot for having caused this to her. If only my parents weren't so focused on me and my so many problems that started since the day I was born (so far I risked to die at least 4 times) they wouldn't have had so much stress. They would have focused more on my sister. We talked about this and she says it's not my fault and honestely after so many years I want to believe her.

Adora has a post traumatic response. She has a martyr syndrome so strong she even feels that sacrifing herself is the normal course of actions. "You deserve love too" means that you also deserve to be heard. Your feelings matter.

Now. *Sighs*. I don't hate Catra, but I don't like Catradora at all.

Another sad story.

I never liked in my life the troupe of the "best friends" who grow up togheter and are supposed to be soulmates. I don't believe in destiny. There's no superior order in life.

I know there are many cute and real stories of couples who start and end togheter. Honestely some years ago I would have felt envious of them, now I fell like the freest of birds.

I had a childhood friend. He was born exately 20 days before me and, since our mothers were best friends, those were the only days in our first 10 years of life we were apart. We grow up togheter like brothers. Of course (of course, because eh you know, hormons, not destiny or whatever) we ended up having a relationship when little.

I didn't have so many friends and he made sure of that. He isolated me from everyone. He was possessive and mean. He was aggressive and now that he is old he is even a racist, sovranist, fascist, sexist and lots of other amazing qualities.

He was my first good diagnosis. Cushing syndrome. So yh, even if I'm super short he is shorter than me due to the therapy he has to endure. (By the gods, I generally don't mind physical appereance, I've even recentely found out I'm panromantic so yh, I don't care about gender either... but dam, can I have a partner taller than me? It's not even difficult.) Honestely, sickness apart...he is not so very good looking. Neither was I when little, I was very chubby. With the difference that I still saw beauty in him, but he never did. He mocked me with his friends. He said things like "If I don't love you who ever would? I've known you for so long, that's the reason why I tolerate you". I always stood by his side when people bullied him for his frail body structure or because he couldn't swim (which in Sicily it's almost a disability). He never did the same for me.

We broke up badly. I wasn't the one who left him but anyways. We don't even say hello to eachother.

I know by some relatives of his (who adored me) that is he depressed and lonely now.

It's... hard. Not to care for him. I know I shouldn't, I don't even want to. But the sentiment is there. I was never enough for him while he was everything for me. I don't love him, I would say I even hate him (and to make me hate someone you really must work very hard). But...hate is an emotion too right?...the point is that he will forever be a part of me. Even if I wish we never met in the first place.

Anyways.

I don't have positive opinions on Glimbow either. I love Glimmer but dam she is possessive. I like Bow but he should have been more true with his feelings and not end up with her only to please her. Choose Sea Hawk or Perfuma.

In a childhood relationship platonic love, habit, hormons, friendship meld togheter in a ...peculiar way. But let's be honest, we change with aging. We are not mature, we are not sensitive enough. Polite enough when little. We are not aware enough.

I'm monogamus yes, but at least sexually speaking. In reality you should have experiences. Know other people to know yourself better.

It, again, may be my bad and traumatic relationship speaking. But said relationship never gave me positive personal growth. It was rather toxic.

Adora, dear. Humanity is not lost. But you can't save everyone. Not by risking your own happiness. Caring for somebody deeply and having sexual attraction for them...isn't enough. And you too Catra. Let it go, there are people out there (cough cough Scorpia) who can and will give you the world if only you let them. Give others a chance. Maybe you are not in love with a person, but with the memory and the idea you had of them. People change, it's not theirs or your fault.

People leave and you don't own them.

Lastly yes, I will put the Entrapdak tag. Really not for visibility, I have more feet than followers (no, I'm not an octopus monster) and honestely I don't give a fuck. (Yhh mean Floxy). I'm just here to say emberassing things and be a stupid fucking nerd.

*inhales*.

Entrapdak=the love of my life. The relationship between two adults. Two people who didn't know eachother and passed puberty (...Hordak baby, you there?) a LONG time ago.

Two people who reason with their minds and not entirely with their hormons. I'm clapping while typing.

No drama, no doubts. I could talk for hours but honestely this no sense is already a pain in the gut of everyone who reads so far.

[bellafarella]

⚠️This is very long so you don’t have to read it or post it I just wanted to share how I thought the ending would have made people at least satisfied with the ending ⚠️

How each persons storyline should have ended

Frank’s-good ending. The floating was weird. I’m kind of upset that out of his all things his (dementia,alcoholism,overdose, his failing liver) they decided to kill him with COVID something he showed no symptoms of.

Liam- it should have shown Liam reading Frank’s letter. Seeing him read the letter and getting emotional over what frank said about him and Frank’s voiceover as he smiles when he reads his part in the letter would have been great. The idea of the letter should have been to have the one person that cared about him read it, which was Liam. People may say this would have hurt Liam but I think it would have gave Liam some sort of closure just letting him know that frank loved him and cared for him more than the Gallagher’s and Liam did care about frank more than anyone so for Liam this may have just made him happy to know that his mission of helping frank and making sure Frank felt loved was fulfilled.

Ian and Mickey-This may be a little controversial but I think Ian and Mickey should have ended their story with getting married. The whole relationship and really what made people love this relationship was the fact that nothing could break them up because what they have is special, it’s true love. Them being sperated so many times and being brought back together so many times was kind of what people loved. Not so much the being torn apart part but more of the coming together because they love eachother and that they have true love that can’t be broken. Them getting married is the perfect way of showing that it’s real this time they will be together till death do them part. JW’s ending was great on paper. Mickey telling Ian how he felt about being a dad, Mickey acting like he forgot about their 1 year anniversary when really he wanted to surprise Ian. Great on paper but unfortunately JW did an awful job of showing this finale storyline he could have had an emotional, important, and impactful storyline but instead he had a storyline about Mickey arguing about a potato masher, Mickey talking about getting a blow job, deleted important scenes, and just a underwhelming ending overall. I’m still mad there was no mutual ily. Since they got married last season and there’s nothing we can do to change that now I think the last scene was great, them dancing around in the alibi where Mickey came out celebrating their 1 year anniversary. I just wish JW did a better job at adding a more emotional or just impactful finale rather than a bunch of scenes that meant nothing and two important scenes

Lip- It should have ended like it started. Lip being happy fixing his house. I think it should have been him in his new house looking at it from the outside and seeing that his hard work has finally paid off. Jw decided to leave lip broke with a kid on the way and still having to support Liam considering he promised Liam a home (which as we can tell he is not getting anytime soon), having a job as a delivery driver, and started smoking again. Again very sad and underwhelming storyline that Jw managed to mess up.

Debbie- the season shouldn’t have been purely Debbie angry at lip I feel like they should have had Debbie be angry at lip for about two episodes max and then her finally coming to terms with having to move so she ends up buying the apartment that she was looking at with Franny. The last episode should have been her at her new apartment and lip comes to visit her and she expresses that she feels alone and lip tells her that he is right there next to her and just because they don’t live under the same roof doesn’t mean that he won’t be there for her and that he is just around the corner and whenever she needs him or any of the Gallaghers they will be right there. This would then give Debbie some peace of mind and the last scene should be Debbie hugging Franny maybe sitting on a couch watching TV, both with a big smile on their face.I feel like this could have gave there be a more emotional storyline rather than a petty unimportant storyline which would have caused less hate towards her.

Carl- his ending was good the whole episode was terrible with his storyline but at least they gave him a good ending where we can imagine him in the future buying The alibi and running it and possibly saving up money to buy a home and starting his life

Kev and V-The episode should’ve ended with them agreeing to move to Kentucky because we know that they will be fine in Kentucky considering Kevin already has a job there promised to him and V potentially has a job in government this would have let the viewers imagine their life in Kentucky and leaving it up to the viewers to imagine how their life in Kentucky would be while still leaving us with a good and secure ending considering they are planning to buy the condo which already leaves the viewers with imagining a stable home and job in a good neighborhood for Kevin and Veronica and their kids .

Hi so I read all of this and your ideas are good! But I do have to say that you're expecting too much from a show that's done nothing but disappoint fans for years lol

I thought that considering how this show has been going the last few years that the ending we got was as good as it was ever gonna be.

I do think they could have given us at least 1 more episode just to tie some things up like this finale felt more like the penultimate episode instead of the series finale it was

For Frank, the floating thing is dumb but it's symbolic. It's his soul watching over his family and friends and seeing them happy and knowing they'll be okay eventually.

I liked that the letter was read by him. It was a very nice callback to the pilot and that's def why they did it. And why they had them sing that song since it was also in the pilot.

Liam reading it would be a nice way to end his whole sl with Frank but ultimately, frank was a neglectful shitty parent, maybe not to liam but to his other kids and I think their objective with not having any of the kids know in that moment that frank died is because frank never cared about them and they learned not to care about him so the point of them not finding out, imo, hit the mark. This show was never about the children wanting the parents love and approval, it was about these children taking care of each other and being there for each other because their parents were neglectful

I do agree that frank dying from covid was fucking bs. Like now we don't know if the kids or any of them got covid cause they were in contact with him like you're giving us this entire sl of how dementia is slowly killing frank but then he dies cause of covid??? I get he'd be way more prone to catching it and it actually killing him but then why heavily show his decline with dementia only for covid to take him out. That's def a big fault I have with the finale

As for Lip, I think it would have been nice to see him get a legit offer or him with his new place but I like that his ending was very open. As we know, Lip is a genius. Even after years of not being in school or working with computers he was still able to help that guy with his exchange thing in 2 seconds. And like frank said, lips just too stuck in his own way. I think with him possibly having a 2nd kid, it will kick him into high gear and he'll find a way to get them a house and get himself a good job to support them. His ending shows that yeah he might be down right now but don't count him out because he will find a way to support his family.

For ian and mickey I def disagree with you. I absolutely loved seeing them as husbands this season. Yeah they bickered for too many episodes but it's also accurate af. Couples bicker. My parents have been married over 30y, they bicker constantly. But aside from bickering we got to see them grow as a couple. We saw mickey attempt to get a legal job because it would ease Ian's mind. We saw Ian want a better life for them. We saw them get an apartment and start their own business together. We saw them communicate about what they want within their marriage. We saw them discuss children and past traumas surrounding that. We saw Ian comfort mickey when terry died. We saw Ian comfort mickey when he said he didn't wanna be like terry or that he would be a shitty dad like terry. I think their ending was definitely the best one out of everyone. They're happy, in love, just celebrated a year of marriage, they have a business, a home, and the door is open for them to have children. I thought that it was a great way to end their story. It left it open enough for us to imagine them in their new home and discussing kids then making the moves to try and have one.

Debbie I fucking hate so idgaf how her story ended lmfaoooo but what I did hate was how she kicked sandy to the curb for wanting them to ditch but then this new psycho bitch Heidi says the exact same thing and she's all maybe. I hope she goes and leaves franny and Ian and mickey adopt her lol

Carl's whole cop sl was annoying af but I did like his ending. I like the idea of him potentially buying the alibi with Tipping and yeah a cop bar is not ideal but I think it's nice imagining him getting back to his roots u know? Living in the south side, working at a staple of the South Side. He could even live in the apartment above it. I rly liked his ending. It gave us a lot to imagine or hope for for him.

Liam, we know he's going to be great. We saw future him in franks hall of shame and he's this successful beautiful man and he looks happy. He deserves it. But also he said they all have money in the Gallagher future so that's why I'm just thinking of that and that's why I'm okay with how it ended cause I know they'll all be okay

For kev and v, I agree we should have seen them moving already but I get why they didn't. The Alibi didn't sell yet but we know they'll move. They sold their house, they put a deposit on a condo across from Vs mom, they have jobs lined up. I'm good with their ending cause we know what they're going to do and we know they'll be happy, even if it's not a permanent stay, they'll make anything work together.

Thanks for coming to me with your thoughts or hopes for how it should have ended. Sorry I steamrolled and told you my opinions but I figure it'd be okay since you came to me lmaoooo

[inkspaintbrush]

This is just my Undertale au, feel free to read

Undertale au

Asten

What his voice would sound like : Hullabaloo-Rare Americans

Year 1:

Asten falls to the underground (age 8)

All that stuff with asreil and Chara has already happened but asgore chose to spare any humans who feel down

Asten is the first human to fall down since Chara

Toreil and Asgore live in the ruins, they take Asten in and care for him

Year 2:

Asten age 9

Dr.Gaster adopts Asten from Asgore and Toriel because they think he would be a better fit parental figure

Sans age 11 Papyrus age 8

Year 3-6:

Asten age 10-13 Sans age 12-15 Papyrus age 9-12

Asten and sans have started helping Gaster in the lab with his experiments

By the end of year 6 they have been able to slowly start discovering the multiverse and other au's

Gaster discovers that Astens soul is different from other humans, he is able to summon magical attacks like monsters can

Astens soul was a pure glowy white, this was a soul color that no one had ever seen before

Gaster researched it and came to the conclusion that this soul color was called "hope"

Year 7:

Asten age 14 Sans age 16 Papyrus age 13

Gaster, Asten, and Sans have fully discovered the multiverse and have begun experimenting/investigating ways to travel through the multiverse

Year 8:

Asten age 15 Sans age 17 papyrus age 14

They told Papyrus about the multiverse and he starts to help in the experiments

Asten starts exhibiting strange behavior, he starts "glitching" randomly and it causes immense pain

Year 9:

Asten age 16 Sans age 18 Papyrus age 15

They have discovered a way to travel to an au named "x tale" they made and alliance with x gaster and have agreed to help eachother with the discoveration of the multiverse

X gaster notices that Asten is "different" and is unexpectedly smarter than the others, he needs his help making the 'overwrite' button

X gaster convinces Asten that they will be making the 'overwrite'button to help genocide timelines and 'rewrite' them into pacifist worlds

Asten agrees to help

Astens 'glitching' has gotten much worse, they can sometime last hours and he is unable to speak or control his movement when he has his "episodes"

Year 10-13:

Asten age 17-19 Sans age 19-21 Papyrus age 15-18

Over the past 3 years Asten has been helping X gaster make the 'overwrite' button

Gaster,Sans, and Papyrus have been working on discovering new au's

Asten is still having his glitching episodes, he describes it as every nerve in your body is exploding over and over again

Year 13:

Asten age 19 Sans age 21 Papyrus age 18

Frisk falls to the underground

Sans believes that with Frisk's Determination soul it could be enough to break the barrier that is keeping them trapped in the underground

Asten wants to protect frisk because they are both 'humans'

Asten and Frisk face down sans in the judgement hall

Asten says "why should we kill them? We are both humans, could you imagine killing me when I fell down? We need to give them a chance!"

Sans responds with " We don't know what they could do! They could go crazy and kill us all! And your not a human ! Heck your not even a monster either! We don't know what the hell you are!"

Asten says "I'm your brother! That's what I am"

Sans says " Your not even my brother! Your just some crazy creature that has no place in the universe!"

San's burst if anger filled Asten with frustration, rage, and sadness. Through all his emotions Asten isn't able to control himself,he attacks sans without thinking, which ends up with Sans dieing

Asten realizes what he has done,he starts begging for Frisk to reset the timeline but before Frisk could X gaster inturupted, killing frisk and restraining Asten

He wanted to test out the 'overwrite' button

Nothing else better to test on than the au he had perfect access to

He say how heartbroken Asten was when he had accidentally killed his brother

So he overwrite the timeline and made a new story for them

"Frisk, Chara, and Asriel are still alive and living with Asgore and Toriel in the ruins.

Asten falls to the underground, except this time he is emotionless

He starts a genocide route

After killing everyone in the whole underground, not letting anyone escape he resets the timeline and does genocide all again"

Genocide:

576 resets

After the first reset Astens soul turned from a pure white to a deep black which many people see as "Hate"

Overtime Asten was able to regain consciousness and was aware of what he was doing but he couldn't control what his body was programed to do

He had to suffer watching himself kill his family and friends over and over and over again

After some time he was able to gain control of his body for usually around 1-3 minutes

In those times he was able to slowly gain the knowledge of how to make and use a 'delete' button

Asten was planning to delete his au to stop all the misery and pain he had caused to his family and friends

On the 576 reset after killing everyone instead of resetting he was able to delete his world

2 years in total time have passed through all of the resets

Asten is still 19

Void:

After deleting his world he was stranded in the void

One day Ink had stumbled upon Asten wandering around

Over time Asten and Ink had become great friends, ink was able to teach Asten how to make portals to different au's

They would explore au's together and Asten even helped ink make some

While in the void Asten had developed black feathery wings, and red devil looking tail, ram like horns, and pale ish yellow skin

He developed these things from being outside of his original code(his au)

2 years have passed Asten is 21

One day while wandering around the void Asten stumbleded upon Error who was lost and scared in the void after glitching out of the screen of his au

The void had also changed his appearance from a normal sans to what he looks like now

Asten took him in and introduced him to Ink

At this moment in time Ink and Error didn't have their whole rivalry

Overtime Ink and Error had become like new brothers to Asten, Asten was able to put his past behind him but Error and ink were always curios. ink had never found Astens au

Ink had introduced Asten and Error to Dream who had also become a great friends of Asten

5 years have passed Asten is 26

One day while facing down with Nightmare and Killer, Asten was "killed"

But Astens soul and spirit had only become scattered, his physical body died but his spirit lived on. It took Asten 3 years to regather himself and re build his physical body

While those 3 years had passed Error and Ink had slowly drifted apart

Without Asten they had started realized that they had nothing in common and their rivalry had begun

Within these 3 years Ink had made his Deal with X gaster

While these 12 years have passed X Gaster had been improving the Overwrite button

After:

When Asten was able to rebuild his body and spirit he begun searching for Ink and Error

The events of Underverse have been happening while Asten was searching

Asten had found Dream first, Asten explained what happened with him for the past 3 years

Dream explained everything that had happened with Cross, Ink and X gaster

Asten immediately agreed to help them, he wanted to help Ink and most of all he wanted revenge on X gaster

They were able to get back Sans, Red and Blue back to help them fight

That's all I have so far lol

[hmmmm-yeah-no]

(Lots of) Thoughts on 7x10

I finally watched 7x10 and OMG THIS WAS MY FAVORITE EPISODE YET. All my favorite characters in one place. No more flashbacks. Emotional interactions included. Fast Paced and dramatic. I felt like I could root for my characters. Scenes I have wanted for ages. *chef’s kiss* Perfection.

The Madi-Sheidheda scene was intense and dramatic and I loved it. Happy to see sheidhead drop the Russel ruse it was getting old.

I will NEVER get over Murphy and Kru’s absolute love and protection of Madi this season. They are all her parents and I’m here for it. And Murphy calming her down scene was so cute. I have to say Murphy and Emori have been my favorite characters this season.

The Indra-Sheidheda fight scene was intense and BADASS. It gave me huge Roan-Lexa fight vibes. And I seriously can’t take Sheidheda serious in his new outfit, he just looks like a punk teenager, like where the fuck did he get a vest with spikes on it? . And Madi finally fighting back and stabbing him was cool. And Indra kneeling to protect Madi was cute, although frustrating to see him win.

the CLARKTAVIA HUG!!!! It was sooo sweet. I swear that 10 seconds of them hugging is all I’ve wanted for YEARS. I know a relationship will never happen between them so I’m long past hoping for that, but just seeing them openly care about eachother again was so cute and satisfying. Ngl that’s what made the episode for me.

Echo dropping the act was satisfying, although sad to see her torn apart to the point of wanting to kill everyone.

Honestly I’ve enjoyed the bits and pieces we’ve seen of Niylah this season. She’s kinda dorky and teasing and adorable? She seems like somone I could totally meet in real life and be friends with. Her character reminds me that they are still just normal people and barley adults.

I really like Jordan this season, much more than I did last season. He was really nerdy and dorky in this episode and it was cute. And Gabriel is chill as fuck. And I like the Niylah and Jordan team, they act kinda like siblings.

Seeing Octavia choose her people over Levitt so easily was really satisfying. Like I’m glad she was happy with him for a while but he certainly isn’t my favorite character. I’m glad they didn’t make that a whole thing.

Okay but apart from the claktavia hug, the Highlight of this episode was the Echo-Raven interaction. Is was so sweet and satisfying to see the writers finally acknowledge that they spent 6 years together in space. That they are SISTERS. I’m glad it was Raven that talked her out of instead of Clarke or kru, that scene and the acting in it really brought the episodes to another level. Also Tasya is an amazing actor.

HAPPY TO SEE ANDERS DIE. I was so sick of him. On the other hand I already knew Diyoza wasn’t gonna make it but I was much sadder about her death then I thought I would be. Octavia dragging Hope out of the room was heartbreaking. Especially knowing Hope is never gonna forgive herself.

In conclusion, what I think made this episode so good was the heartfelt and emotional interactions between characters, especially ones we haven’t seen interact in a long time. The acting/writing/filming was very good, the episode was faster paced and more intese, the stakes were higher, and the characters acted very in-character. It was complicated but not over complicated. This episode has me excited for the rest of the season, and reminded me a lot of earlier seasons which I miss.

Also I saw that Bellamy is alive? Can’t say anybody is surprised. If you’ve read my other posts about the 100 then you’ll probably know that I haven’t been a big fan of Bellamy or his acting after season 5, but honestly I’m really curious what he (and Gaia?) have been up to on that planet. And a little excited to see the others reactions when they figure out he’s alive. However him being alive makes me sad because I doubt he’s gonna die agian this season, which means it’s likely Clarke or Octavia will die in the finale which I really don’t want.

Anyways, good episode, lots of positive feedback from me. I haven’t enjoyed spending time on tumblr recently cause all the negative posts about this seasons make me sad and frustrated, so if y’all have anything positive to say about episodes then please share it, lots of us need and are happy to read it.

[uwuowotf2waslife]

Do you have one with crippling depression yet? Like they stop eating, stop moving, always nearing tears but bottles them up, becomes emotionally numb, not really finding the joy in life in anyway? There’s nothing physical that caused it, it’s just isolation, loneliness, or guilty memories catching up with you. I’m uh, not doing so good right now and your writing is a really good pick-me-up. Can you write it? Please? It’s fine if it’s too triggering, I can understand. Have a good day, or night.

My inbox is always open my dude, and im more than thankfull for your words

(this will be about a merc and a S/O, hmu if you meant about team dynamics)

You are poetry, 

stay safe & hydratated

tw: depression

Scout: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ not the most emotional mature of the mercs; even himself admits that he is pretty immature even for his age (early 20s), but this doesn’t means he doesn’t have empathy or that he doesn’t care about his S/O. He sees you suffering and he is big time worried. He tries to motivate you, drag you out of your bed and do something fun or at least go and buy some food. He will get annoying but he can’t just sit there and watch you rot. He is a hands-on guy, he might not understand why you are acting up like this, but at the same time he doesnt know how he can approach you. He will try to hug you tighter and bring you food and water, his shoulders can be a pillow for you to cry all day and night long and his hands are there to wipe off the tears from your face. He hates seeing his bby sad and would give half his Tom Jones memorabilia for you to wake up one day and be your old, happier self ♥

Soldier: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ although his social skills are in scarcity, he isnt a traitor. He sees his S/O down ( mentally) and it pains him to an unimaginable extent  to see you so unmotivated . He doesn't understand why are you sad, what has happened? Did that crazy Kraut touched you? who he needs to snap the neck? He hates seeing you like this. Will be stubborn, just because he doesnt understand something it doesnt mean he can't find a way around. In the end, he will push you enough to actually break down and explain everything that has happened. For the first time in years hes just silent, he broke the dam and he is beyond ashamed of making you break down like this. He doesn't what to do so for now he will hold you as tight as he can and promise in America and whatever is holy and pure in him that he will help you untill you are again okay. ♥

Pyro: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ they know that you are sadder than before and they can see you points of view. They themselves know that life sometimes just sucks and that its okay not to want to eat or leave your bed. But they are also afraid that whatever is plaguing you it will become worse and worse and they really don’t want to see you hurting yourself like they once did. They try helping you do simple things, drink a glass of water, play a bit with their stuffed animals, theyll help you brush your hair or wash your face. They know they baby you, but they think you need a bit more of some more smootches or cuddles. If they see you worsening or being even less active they will drag you their pillowfort and just try to keep you as close them while chanting sweet nothings and sad mumbles, please don’t loose yourself like they did. ♥

Engie: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ he might be a cruel, cold man when hes on the field, but in reallity he is the cinnamon roll meme( he is a cinnamon roll and he might kill you tho but he is mostly a cinammon roll). He knows also that work and his projects take a really big amount of his time so he already feels very guilty. I doubt he has any humanitarian doctorates, but he has an above average understanding of human psychology; whats the point of trying  to emulate life when you cant understand it?He knows he can't address it straightforward, but he needs to get you over this slump before you do something really stupid. Que him cleaning up his workshop and carrying you there bridal style. He has a small nest of pillows and blankets and right next to it his trusted guitar.You have the whole night and the day after to spend it together and get in the bottom of the barrel. Itll be hectic but he is a very patient man and loves ya to bits ♥

Demo: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ lowkey one of the mercs with the most expierence with depression/ depressive episodes. For once in his life he doesnt drink and tries to find the rute of the problem, if there is of course or its just pent up anger and frustation with things that have happened in your life now or in the present. In simple, you will talk. For hours if needed. He wont drink a sip becausehe doesnt want to forget even the stupidest detail from your venting. In the end, he will offer you to drink but he will drag you out of the base/ house and make you sit in the front porch/ garden  while he has set up some “ festive” fireworks ( just some small ones that erupt and turn into hearts) . He isnt the ideal psychological perfection, but if you chosed the scottish cyclops for your mate, then he shall go to the man and back just to see you smile one more time. ♥

Heavy: ˜”*°•.˜”*°• he has seen depression and has experienced it himself. It was way too traumatic for a young man to have to support a family without a father figure around. I highly headcanon him to have deppresion hence the sandwich, hes bingining while staying in the battlefield. He doesnt care about the language barrier, in order for the both of you to be as close as you are know, it means you understand eachother to a satysfying extent. He will cook you a very hearty meal and bring it to your bed with a tray and sweet tea. You can eat in silence with him simply staying by your side and rub your back, words can’t potray how he feels right now. Once you finished hell put the dishes outside and simply cuddle you ( being the least cuddly of the mercs, it means a lot). You can nap, cry, trace patterns on his sculp anything really. All his life the main cause of depression was the anarchy surrounding his life, he needs you to feel protected. He doesn’tcare how much time it will take, but he will rip the mountains apart to seeyou smile out of genuine happiness, might even cry if he is the cause. •°*”˜.•°*”˜

Medic: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ the most medically, again qualified from the group. so he has at least that covered. He isn’t stupid, you show clear signs of cronic clinical depression ( also known as manic depression) and although it has been a long while before finding a patient to lobotomize, hed be damned if he ever butchered you up like that. He is a healer, even if enjoys his enemies to hurt a little more than they should, and a healer is here to help both the body and the mind. Will persuade you into getting under medication, even if he knows theyll have little to no effecthe just hopes the placebo effect will motivate you. He tries to mix your routine with his, ex. he wakes up really early when you finnaly after hours of insomnia fell asleep, hell tuck you in and kiss your forehead. Throughout the day hell send Scout or Heavy to bring you food or water or your medications. Pyro will be by your doorstep or you side, to keep you company during the day. At night he will carry you to the medbay and do all the talking for you if you dont feel like talking, he will listen to all of your venting. Lowkey will sit you on his lap so he can rub your back and let you cry/ just sit there, to feel his heardbeat on your face and relax. ♥

Sniper: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥    𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵. 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘈𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 , 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 , 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥. 𝘏𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳, 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤 ( 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴), 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘚/𝘖 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵( 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘴 , 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 0/10 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥) 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘶𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘸. ♥

Spy: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥     actually he isn’t that mentally mature as much as he strives to be. He has very unhealthy copying mechanisms, he fucks and smokes his torments away, but he also knows different people have different copying mechanism and he cant judge how people seek comfort. He doesnt know how to help yo, he really does but he doesnt know. He is nervous but he will probably suggest you two take a vacation away, together. He has planned it all fancy and nice, and pretty much has scanned the whole place/ area/resort you are staying and having “ friends” around. He doesnt care if you just stay all day in the resorts pool and just chill around drinking pina coladas. In the middle of your vacations, he will take you to a more secluded area and will open up about his issues , not about your relationship but about him as a person. He has many issues and he is a very difficult person to be around, so you haveto know he will never judge you. But he also doesnt know how to help you. This will make you hug him and you two can finnaly have a good, well-earned cry. Kiss him on the nose or on his head and tell him how much all this means to you and he will cry you a river and hold you till the dayhe dies, how can someone so late in his life means so, just so damn much? ♥  

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

This story takes place during the Sanders Asides Are There Healthy Distractions Episodes, suggested by @heavy-metal-papillon . The idea comes from Logan voicing Deciets line when he pops up to grab his hat from Logan, so in this story Deciet and Logan switched places in the episode.

Switching Sides

Summary: Logan wants some time to himself and Janus wants to enjoy a movie with the other sides in peace. They support and respect eachothers wants and needs, agreeing to switch places for movie night. In doing so, they both gained a bit more than they bargained for.

Warnings: none, but if you see any just say something!

Ships: platonic Lociet, past platonic Anciet

WC: 2, 305

Janus adjusted the his tie one final time, giving himself a once over in the mirror. His hair was combed back smartly, hat tucked away safely in his room for the time being. He had gotten the type right this time, and the white embroidered brain logo stood out against the plain black polo. The stiff dark Jean's were a little uncomfortable but the dress shoes fit nicely so he couldn't complain too much. This had to be perfect, even if it was a somewhat casual setting, he couldn't afford to-

"You know you could've just asked."

Yelping, he whirled around to face the real logical side currently sizing him up with a less than impressed expression. "We aren't discussing anything important today, why are you replacing me again?"

Janus sputtered. "I wasn't!"

Logan's eyebrow raised even more. "So my choice of clothing is just that comfortable, right down to the glasses?"

"...yes."

"Janus."

The deceitful side snapped his head up to glare at the other. "Not so loud! You dont know if one of the others would hear!"

Logan cleared his throat. "No one is left in the mind scape currently except us. Even Remus is currently hiding behind the couch. I assure you no one will overhear us, though of course I will call you Deciet if that would make you more comfortable."

Narrowing his eyes, Janus took a careful step back. "Why aren't you angry at me?"

Logan shrugged. "Why are you disguising yourself to simply watch a movie?"

"Because I-well in case...just in case something comes up that....hes using this to distract himself and that's sort of like lying to yourself so it stands to reason i would want to be there." Satisfied with jus excuse he glared at the other, daring him to argue.

But Logan simply nodded. "I've been meaning to get more work done anyway and would rather do that than watch Roman rig the vote multiple times only to complain about the plot of the movie he picked out. Straighten the tie and be careful."

"Just...just like that? You don't even care?"

"I require time to....gather my thoughts, after the more recent dilemmas Thomas seems insistant on making harder than they should be. Peace and quiet would be nice right now and if you're willing to take my place then I wont argue." Nodding more to himself, Logan reached out to hand him a thermos. "Caffiene helps stave off the inevitable headache. I highly recommend it."

Dumbfounded, Janjs could only clutch the thermos go his chest as he watched the logical trait walk back to his room and quietly shut the door behind him. Something he couldn't quite identify tugged in his chest but he brushed it off quickly and sunk down to the apartment below.

Patton was the first to notice him as he settled down stiffly on the couch, waving excitedly and almost spilling what looked like cocoa all over the floor in the process. Nodding he looked up as Roman began to speak.

"Finally! Now that we have our resident nerd here we can vote." Janus watched curiously as little slips of paper were passed around, narrowing his eyes at the clump that Roman hid in his sleeve but decided not to say anything. He looked over as Thomas cleared his throat, taking the paper offered to him with an excited smile which he quickly dropped in favor of Logans usual impassive expression. He didnt expect to win the vote, but maybe since it was movie night they'd watch all the suggested films to make it fair. He didnt really know how this was supposed to work, Remus and....well, nobody ever watched movies together in the part of the mind he resided in.

Quickly jotting down his selection he waited rather impatiently for the rest to finish, gripping the paper tightly as a hat was passed around.

Wait.

He could only stare as the collection hat got to him. How had they gotten his hat? When did they even get it?....How often did they sneak into his room without him knowing? He wanted so badly to yell, take his hat and sink out, but that wasnt who he was right now.

"Hey L, you good?"

His head snapped up so fast he felt his neck creak. Virgil had never....not for a long time....that tone of voice wasn't for him. Virgil stayed with the "light sides" now, he only showed concern for them. Swallowing around the lump in his throat he reluctantly handed the hat back to Thomas to give back to Roman.

"I'm adequate thank you."

His hand shook slightly as he raised the thermos of coffee to his lips, but if Virgil noticed he didn't say anything.

Swinging his attention back to the current conversation he caught Pattons response to whatever had been said. "...voted for Frozen Roman but I'm still rooting for-"

"Oh my gosh! One hundred percent of the votes went to Frozen!"

He scowled as Patton cheered. "No, fu - falsehood, I did not vote for Frozen!"

"You didn't get a vote because you didnt wear a onesie!"

Taking a preemptive swig of coffee, he mumbled out, "I don't wear those anymore, they're too childish."

"No onesie, no vote, like our founding fathers believed!"

Janus snorted quietly, covering it up with an exasperated sigh as he settled more into couch. While the movie was being set up he glared again at the stolen hat on the floor, bringing out his phone discreetly.

Dee: I know I don't have much right to ask you this, but might I request a favor?

Logan: I assure you it's fine. What do you need?

Surprised at the quick response he continued to type, glancing up every now and again to be sure no one noticed his silence.

Dee: Roman stole my hat somehow, I was wondering if it would be possible cor you to get it back? I know you don't like shifting but I'm not sure how discreet it would be for me to try and get it as you.

Logan: It isn't that I don't like it, I'm just not equipped to be good at it. It does not make logical sense to disguise oneself, therefore I am at a disadvantage when it comes to such things. However, I can replicate your scales if I may have permission to 'raid your wardrobe' so to speak. Only with your permission of course.

Dee: Thank you and it's fine. Just dont go snooping around. You may not like what you find.

Logan: I will not. I have no reason to do anything other than procur clothing and so that is all I will do.

Sighing in relief, Janus settled back somewhat comfortably to watch the movie, letting the other sides' idle chatter wash over him.

----

"Fear will be your enemy."

Janus snuck a glance at Virgil at this line, glancing back away quickly at the look of panic that flashed across the anxious sides face. He wondered if Virgil would ever open up about his true nature....though perhaps until things truly calmed down it was for the best he remained determined to be closed off.

----

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Remus popped up suddenly behind him, clapping his hands at the prospect of Anna and Elsa's parents dying at sea, seemingly completely naked and comfortable enough to showcase go the entire living room. Janus shot him a warning look as Remus peered at him curiously, thanking God that for once Remus seemed content to keep his mouth shut.

----

"Wait, Hans is tricking Anna making her believe hes in love with her, but shes not around...why make that face?" He had watched the movie before of course but now that he had people to discuss it with that weren't making sexual innuendos every other sentence he felt much more comfortable speaking out.

"Yeah your right...."

Janus promptly turned out the rest of Roman's sentence, discreetly entering the date into his phone that Roman had admitted he was right in something, even if he didnt know who he was speaking to.

----

"Do you think this place has a lavatory?"

"Ice toilet!" Patton giggled.

"Or a bed?" Roman countered.

"Ice bed!"

"This place sounds awful." His nature made his blood run colder than normal anyway and the thought of sleeping on a freezing cold bed on top of a mountain surrounded by walls of ice made him very much wish he had in fact worn his onesie.

----

Janus chugged another mouthful of coffee in irritation. "You meddled with the vote to ensure we would watch this and yet you're the one constantly making fun of it."

"Look, this is how I show my love!"

Janus rolled his eyes and settled back into the couch wondering if Roman showed his love this way with the others just as much as he did with his beloved disney films.

----

Janus watched as Virgil voiced his thoughts on the matter that had made them all plan this movie night in the first place. A familiar kind of second hand hurt tugged in his chest while the others' thoughts spiraled further and further, unconsciously blanketing the room with an ever more suffocating blanket of anxiety. He watched as Roman grimaced from across the room, Patton fidgeting in place and gripping his mug ever harder and Thomas dragging fingers through messy hair as Virgil only continued talking faster and faster, becoming more and more worked up as the literal word vomit consumed any rational thoughts left in the room.

"Thomas, Virgil?" He waited calmly as Thomas peeked out from his hands and Virgils panicked face snapped towards him. Pushing down the old familiarity he continued on. "Please do me a favor and name me five things that you can see."

"Staircase." Thomas sighed.

"Impending doom." Virgil quickly countered.

"Olaf."

"A future without friends."

"Lamp!"

"Blinds."

"Pants."

"Now four things you can feel."

"Pants."

"A bad feeling."

"The couch."

"Wall."

"Hair."

"Three you can hear." He smiled in relief as Virgil began to participate more, visibly calming as his mind was brought back to the present.

"Olaf."

"The fan."

"The ice machine for some reason."

Thomas really needed to fix his appliances. "Two things can smell."

"Clean shirt."

"The deodorant Thomas put on because....he was gonna go out tonight."

"And one thing you can taste."

"A sour taste in my mouth probably leftover from those reheated tai noodle leftovers."

Both variably more calm, Janus tried gently explaining the technique he had used, though he knew they both already knew it seemed like a good idea to remind them that they were allowed to use the technique whenever they needed it.

"Thank you, Logan." Thomas breathed out as he leaned forward tiredly.

Janus smiled, going to take another swig of his dwindling coffee when he caught site of a figure dressed in black and yellow on the stairs, nobody having noticed his presence yet.

Allowing himself a smirk behind the thermos, he responded. "No problem. Just your cool teacher being his cool self."

He smiled slightly wider as he heard a quiet scoff from the figure, just loud enough that he could hear it. He hoped Logan didn't think he was making fun of him, this was a rare day where he hadn't lied once around the others.

----

Logan settled quietly on the stairs til the end of the movie, seeming content to join them quietly until Roman brought Janus' hat back out.

After they had discussed the movie's ending, with Virgils anxious thoughts still persisting, he realized they needed to do something else that more actively distracted them all from the situation. As Roman brought out his hat to vote on another activity Logan stepped in quickly, Virgil hissing at him much to Janus' amusement while Logan snatched his hat back without a glance in his direction.

"I was looking for this! Don't touch my shit!" Janus bit his lip hard to keep from busting out laughing at the reality of Logan swearing at Roman for him, a warm feeling enveloping him as the others continued with whatever conversgion they had moved on to. His focus came back as the ending of some kind of Frozen fix it fanfiction was being discussed, making it very hard not to feel smug as his suggested was acted upon and Thomas definitely seemed happier than he had previously. Not being needed for whatever ridiculous story was sure go come out he sunk back down into the mind scape, startling slightly when he appeared right next to Logan who was currently fixing a spare tie as he left Janus' room.

"Ah, you're back. I left your hat on the bedside where I assume it was taken in the first place. I'm the future know that with a little concentration we are able to keep certain sides out of our rooms. I would suggest you utilize this to prevent future thievery."

Janus shook off his disguise and held out the stolen tie. "Thank you...for letting me, well you didn't have to allow me to ho in your stead. I....appreciate the trust."

"Keep it." Logan gestured to the tie before turning away. "Just in case."

Janjs watched in confusion as Logan returned to his room to lock himself away again, finally sighing and turning to his own. Smiling a little he laid the tie carefully in a drawer before plunking his hat back on his head, shoulders sagging in relief at the familiarity.

It was nice to pretend to be someone else and talk with fake friends. But maybe, in allowing himself vulnerability, he had found himself another real one.

This work is also available on AO3!

[loulougoingsolo]

“The straightest you’ve ever been”

I lost my Rhett and Link vlog commentary last night, and with this second attempt, I’m not going to make the mistake of writing it on my phone again. Because, the vlog is worthy of a proper, thorough commentary. As far as vlogs go, I think this was pure perfection from start to finish.

The premise for this week’s vlog is that Link surprises Rhett with a hair makeover. You can clearly see that this is a true surprise, because Rhett seems not only a bit annoyed for the distraction of Link appearing to their office in vlogging mode, but once he hears that Link is going to do something to his unkempt hair, a range of emotions cross his face. He looks puzzled, annoyed, alarmed, and almost ready to cry - all of this in the few seconds before Link explains to him that he is not going to cut Rhett’s hair, but just straighten it. Rhett should trust his friend a little more - Link wouldn’t do something that would upset Rhett knowingly.

Link is clearly much more excited than Rhett as they step into the beauty wardrobe room. I would love it if the guys decided to start a men’s beauty vlog - I know I’m a gal,  but I’ve quite ofthen thought about how much I love Link’s style, and I could easily see myself wearing what he wears on a regular basis. He has this very nice, casual but chic style, and I totally dig it. And, I’m dying to know how he fixes his hair to stay intact regardless of what he does (well, as was proven in that livestream they did last night, wearing a bike helmet does take a toll on his hair). But today’s “beauty vlog” is all about making the slightly reluctant Rhett look beautiful.

I love how Jenna shows up with a pile of first aid supplies for burn injuries, and Rhett refuses to take part in this project unless Link agrees to let Rhett burn him where ever Link burns him. Where is the trust on this man’s skills? But after an agreement and a fist pump, Link is finally allowed to get started - with Jenna closely supervising the process.

Rhett tries to throw Link off his game with a failed insult of saying he looks like a hairdresser. Link considers that a compliment, and carries on unfazed. Only, he claims to be a little nervous about touching Rhett’s hair, which I find just a little unbelievable, since this most certainly isn’t the first time he’s done something to his buddy’s hair:

Coincidentally, in the episode Weird things You Can Do With Peanut Butter from which the above screenshots are, Rhett mentions Link’s backup career is to become a hairdresser. And, Link uses the exact same hairdresser voice in both episodes despite them being filmed 5 years apart.

Link seems determined to keep things professional, pointing out he doesn’t want touching Rhett’s hair be pleasureable for anyone, but since only moments later he looks like a happy kid brushing the mane of his first pony, I’d say he forgot his own intentions pretty quickly. Which is, of course, what we all want to see. But I do agree, the act of touching someone’s hair is intimate. That’s one of the main reasons why I’ve only been to four different hairdresser in my lifetime. The only way for them to get rid of me is to retire or move out far enough.

I’ve spent hours watching diy hair tutorials in the past couple of weeks, so I know what virgin hair means, but Rhett asking if him having virgin hair (untreated hair) means Link is deflowering his hair now, made me cackle. I laughed even more, when Jenna corrects him by saying that deflowering would require something like bleaching, and Link mentions that is something they did in highschool. So, yeah, they already deflowered eachother’s hair in highschool. But why Link calls spraying hair product to Rhett’s hair as a few kisses? Wasn’t he supposed to try not to make things too intimate?

I think Link might have been watching Queer eye again, because they always ask the guys they groom to say affirmations to themselves on that show, right? At least it sounds like the kind of thing they’d do. But at this point, Link is fully enjoying all this hands on hair connection. And Rhett doesn’t look quite as worried, either. But how adorable is it that Link used to cut his boys’ hair?

(My dad would never agree to that, but I’ve cut his hair a few times. And my mom cut my hair once for a school event, and curled my bangs and I was so embarassed about them that that never happened again. I was probably 8 years old, and ever since, I’ve gone to professionals.)

Oh man, Link saying to Rhett: “You’re gonna be the straightest you’ve ever been” is the best line he’s said in a while. Let’s talk about that, huh? No, apparently not. But at least it made Rhett chuckle and Jenna look like she’d so want to comment on that.

Josh shows up with the Mythical Kitchen team to spork the guys all of a sudden. I had actually watched that episode, so I knew there’d be a vlog about Link doing something to Rhett’s hair, but with everything going on, and after the quarantine vlog last week, I’d completely forgotten about this - so Rhett wasn’t the only one getting surprised.

Link just had to comment on Rhett’s lack of a proper chin, and honestly, it was just friggin’ cute how Rhett reacted. Something about this episode makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And just as soft as Rhett’s beard looks.

After all the grooming, brushing and smoothing, Rhett finally is ready to be revealed in his new, straight glory. Link looks immensly proud of his creation, which DOES look a bit like a strangely kempt caveman. And also, pretty insane.

Hairstyle is not a Kinsey scale, but I think it’s safe to say that the hair he has in the end of this vlog is pretty straight. It sure did go through quite a few stages before getting there, and it appears Rhett’s personality reflected the change on the outside.

This vlog was delightful. Link got all of his desires to touch Rhett’s hair sated for a while. I feel he’s been dying to get his fingers on it for months now, and only now came up with the perfect excuse.

There is a canine element to straightened Rhett. I know he already compared himself to wet Barbara on Twitter, but I think he got the breed wrong - he very much looks like an afghan hound.  I prefer the wavy version of Rhett over the straight one - as cute as dogs are, there is something very majestic about Rhett’s not-quite-straight mane.

[flowerkidyjh]

Only Want You (David Dobrik)

Hey guys! It’s been a long time since I’ve written something but I just can’t get this song out of my mind. If you know the song “Only Want You by Rita Ora” then you’ll probably get this :)

Here it goes!!

You just ended up things with David and you’re back to your apartment. As you walk inside your apartment, you could still smell his scent and it lingers across the room. It’s like he’s there but he wasn’t. You plopped down the couch and started crying until you fell asleep.

Days have passed and you’re still miserable you miss him but you know that you both wanted to end things and it’s what you guys needed. His life and your life was too different from eachother and its causing either your career or his career.

You stand up from your bed and went to the restroom to pee. While peeing you decided to check your social media accounts. Then you opened, Instagram. The first story you saw was from Jason, and the squad was invited to a party. You scan your eyes through the video as you search for David and you saw him laughing his heart out with Todd and just talking. You imagined being there with him and just talking but still reality hits you right in the face and you remember that you and David are done.

You decided to invite your friends to go to a bar just to clear your mind off of David. You’re having a good time with your friends and you somehow forget about him but still, there’s this emptiness that you can’t even explain. You started drinking more and dancing and having fun with your friends. You somehow flirted and talked with other guys too. You’ve been asking them for coffee, handing out your number and you’re doing everything just to forget about David. Alcohol is working though because you kinda forget about him. It’s already late and you think it’s time to go home so you ask your friends to pack up because it’s already 4am and you’re exhausted from drinking and dancing.

When you reached your apartment, you kicked off your shoes and started walking towards the couch. You sat there for a minute, a little bit drunk and a little bit sober you thought about you and David again. You were dazing off and you got snapped out of it when your phone rang, you answered,

“Hello?”

“Oh, Hi. This is Luke, well you gave me your number a while ago, and I was wondering if you want to have lunch tomorrow? I mean it’s already 5am so maybe later? but lunch? ugh I think you get me, am I right?” Luke talking fast and nervously.

*you chuckled softly*

“Hey, Luke. Yes! Sure, I would like to have lunch with you.” you replied.

“Okay, perfect well text me your address and I’ll pick you up around 2pm yeah?” Luke said.

“Yeah sure well, see you!” you said.

You texted Luke your address and you walked towards the bathroom and started taking a bath. After you were done you decided to put on a shirt and underwear and decided to sleep the alcohol remaining on you.

You woke up around 11am and you decided to scroll through Twitter and Instagram. Nothing much to see there so you decided to watch Dynasty from Netflix.

After 2 episodes you decided you need to start dressing up. So you brushed your teeth, combed your hair and put a little bit of make up on. You changed into a new outfit and you waited for your doorbell to ring. After 10 minutes it rang, you answered and it was Luke. You don’t even remember that he looked like that. Yes he was tall as David and his hair is also messy like David’s. You smiled as you walked out of the door.

Lunch was good. You were full and you enjoyed Luke’s company. You thought to yourself, “Am I starting to finally forget David?” “Maybe.” but that’s what you thought.

You went back to your apartment and asked your friends to come with you to the bar again that evening. Of course your friends being your “nice” friends they said yes. This kind of been a habbit that every night you and your friends would go out clubbing.

On the other hand, things are much worse than Y/N can imagine.

It’s been days since Y/N decided to cut things off and I’m still miserable. I try to be happy when I’m with my friends cause I don’t want them to worry about me. I’m not fine though, but I know I’ll be fine. Maybe it’s for the best? or maybe I made the biggest mistake of my life? I don’t know anymore. I can’t think straight.

Jason asked David if he wanted to come with him and Todd out clubbing since they just got finished uploading their vlogs. David said yes just so they would stop bugging him about how he looks miserable and that they can see that David didn’t really wanted to end things with you.

When they reached the club, they realized it was full of people but they don’t wanna waste time so they still squeezed in until they were there drinking and laughing about things in the vlog and issues outside the club. For a second, David forgot about Y/N it was like he was having so much fun. So he started dancing with strangers and asking girls for their numbers.

(y/n)

One night, you were out by yourself you felt like you have to do it and you needed it. So you went in a convenient store and you bought a pack. You were thinking about David again. You kept on walking and walking around the streets of LA when you realized that you’re walking on your way to David’s neighborhood. You were already there so you said to yourself might as well walk maybe David is to busy with his life and you won’t even bump in to eachother.

So you keep on walking while having a cigarette and you were thinking about the things that have happened and might have happened. You keep on telling yourself, what if? What if I didn’t have to leave. What if I tried to be more understanding? What if I believed in him? A lot of things are going through your mind as you walk around the neighborhood. As you were walking, you realized you’re near David’s house already.

You let out a big sigh and you couldn’t take it anymore as you walk tears start rolling down your face. You tried to stop it but it’s pouring out just like your heart. You sit on the sidewalk and you started to scream in frustration. You want to go to David run in to his arms and admit that you’re sorry and that you love him so much and you understand everything clearly. and that you’re tired of trying to replace him because you can’t.

(David)

I was about to leave with Jeff when he forgot something back to my house so he went back to go get it. I waited inside the car and I was thinking about Y/N. How it could’ve been and maybe if I tried to stop her. But I can’t take it anymore. It’s like she doesn’t understand what I’m doing, and I think that she needs to understand it. Isn’t it the reason we met eachother? I’m tired of looking a trace of her in other girls and I just can’t keep my mind straight. I am confused with what happened, if there’s just a reset button, I probably hit reset; back to the time when it’s all just fun and games.

I was in a daze when I heard someone screaming. It’s like someone’s being frustrated so I tried to follow the sound and saw a girl sitting in a sidewalk and I think she’s crying. Well I don’t really care about the crazy things that happens in my neighborhood but when I head the girl I could feel her pain I could hear how hurt she was. I was about to step out of the car when Jeff came back. He saw the girl crying and we stared at her for a good 30 seconds before he decided that we should go.

When Jeff was about to go, the girl stood up and started walking near us. We were parked in front of my driveway and to be honest I kinda feel scared. What if she’s a psycho, what if she killed me and Jeff? A lot of bad things are running through my mind when I recognized something on her.

She was wearing my merch! She’s near us when I realized it was Y/N. I hurriedly went down the car and towards her. She looked up to me and I can see from her eyes that she has been crying. I cupped her face and wiped her tears and tried to shush her making the both of us cry. I put my lips on her forehead and hugged her. It was that kind of hug where there’s no talking but you can feel what’s the message. It was those kind of hugs that will take away all of the pain and suffering that we both have been feeling. There was nothing to talk about and we already knew what that hug meant. She looked up to me again and whispered “I missed you.” I look at her cupped her face and kissed her and whispered “I only want you baby” while smiling. I mean we tried kissing while crying which is hard so we pulled away and it was happy tears. It felt like all the sadness in the world is gone. All I can feel is my girl next to me as I try to savor this beautiful moment with her.

I don't want somebody like you

I only want you, I only want you, yeah

I don’t want somebody brand new

I only want you, I only want you, yeah

[villlaneve]

Life Update (I need help)

Hey, everyone. I’m sorry I haven’t really been active on here for quite a while. I want to explain myself. Just making this post has taken me lots of time and courage to get myself to do it but here I am.I feel hesitant to share this, as I don’t want this to seem like a pity party and feel like I should have higher standards for myself and should be able to do this on my own. My therapist and others have told me to be kinder to myself and cut me some slack once in a while so here I am.

I felt guilty reblogging posts on Tumblr after not having the energy to do so in a while and I wasn’t caught up with the shows so I punished myself by saying I shouldn’t be able to reblog anything. I will try to stop this way of thinking and am happy to go back to my usual reblogging after this!

What’s the problem?

I’ve been suicidal and struggling with depression since I was 16. I am 23 now and feel like I haven’t really accomplished all that much even though my therapist tells me that fighting for mental health and the way I am doing it is progress as well. I can’t really work up any energy to get up out of bed everyday and when I do I feel empty and can’t get myself to do things I enjoy. I can’t remember the last time I was able to read a book. My attention span and concentration is basically non existent so I cannot even watch the few things I can’t get excited about. TV shows such as Killing Eve, Supergirl and other female centric shows are the few things I DO get excited over and can find the energy to enjoy. I follow the posts on tumblr about Supergirl but the last time I watched an episode was about 6 months ago so sometimes not even that excitement makes me able to focus and watch what I love. Focusing on anything feels nearly impossible.

You can imagine that applying this to every day situations it gets even worse. I’ve lost my job around October and have so much anxiety and fear about applying somewhere else. Trying to get into new hobbies that could motivate me to do anything like photography or making videos on youtube is impossible without the money and right equipment. I grew up and still live in a household where if something I do isn’t perfect then it’s bad and doesn’t matter at all. I apply it to every action I take and am trying to actively unlearn it but so far it isn’t working. When a task or opportunity appears all I think about is the possibility of failing and not being good enough so I end up scared and freezing up. I do nothing. I can’t apply for a job or a university/apprenticeship because of that fear and have been stuck in the past few years of my life.

Why don’t you get a job/degree?

I want to address my university education. University in Germany is quite different than in the US. You choose a major once you start university and that’s what you’re stuck with. I got scared after already taking a gap year right after high school and started studying something that ultimately I realized was not right for me. I convinced myself that I should just finish it and work hard and that it could be right for me. otherwise I would be a failure once again. I froze up and stayed in this path. Except eventually I stopped going to classes all together and became more and more depressed and desperate as I did not know what to do next. I don’t know who to ask for help and am scared to do it to begin with.

I finally worked up the courage to apply to a different major earlier this year. That opportunity fell through/I did not get the spot and now I am back to not knowing what to do. Starting another path and applying for spots even if I decide what to do is going to lead me to more freezing up and thus more complications. On top of all this there is another factor that’s weighing on me.

I am in a long distance relationship and have been since I was 18. This relationship gives me a lot of strength to go on and try fighting but at the same time it is another pressure and weight on top of everything. As my girlfriend lives in the US and her plan is for me to move there, originally I was supposed to be finished with my degree at this point. 

Now I am still basically at 0 and cannot move to the US in the foreseeable future. I’ll have to finish a degree here for 3-4 years, find a way to see if my career path is even transferrable to the US. Speech therapy is an apprenticeship here; a german system that includes school and work experience at the same time and lets you start a career after finishing it; its an alternative to a university degree in a way. I feel like the pressure of tests, writing papers and failing at a university is too much for me too handle with my mental health anyway and the only universities that offer speech therapy as a university  degree are private and cost money that I cannot afford!

We try to make things work and see eachother as often as possible but financially making a transatlantic flight work and having to pay for food, transportations etc everytime I am visiting her 1-2 times a year is getting way too much for me to pay for. Especially now that I do not have a job. Only having to do this for another year or two would have been fine but now it will be another few years before we can even think about me going there. Safe to say this is a hard situation and is putting a big strain on our relationship, financially and emotionally on both sides. Having to spend so many more years apart and not knowing how to afford to see eachother. My mental health is blocking me from finding a job to start alleviating the financial side of this at least and I am frozen in panic and fear.

Why don’t you get help? You can go to a hospital or clinic to treat this

I would like to add that on top of all this most of the friends I did have here are on a semester abroad or have moved out of the country all together. Despite that I am glad to have my family and the 1-2 people I see about once a month to give me comfort. It gives me a bit of levity and strength and I tried checking myself into a clinic to face my fears and mental health problems head on. However, they completely isolated me from any cellphone usage there and going outside at any time. Visitors were only allowed on weekends. I had no way of communicating with anyone aside over a landline and only in very limited time slots (that landline was broken for several days when I got there mind you). I had to scramble to somehow find a way to talk to my partner with her buying a skype international landline and even then most of our calls were spent with us trying to find a way of when we could talk the next time and being frustrated when things would not work on some days because of commitments. If there was a change of plans there was no way for me to call her and let her know something was up. Only she could call and it was anxiety inducing for both of us having no way to reach out to eachother. The people there all had their own issues and as a person who already worries about triggering other people being around very emotionally vulenrable people only and upsetting them (they told me all the things I had done wrong during a group therapy session) launched me into the worst panic attack of my life. No one checked up on me after in the clinic and I no longer felt it was the right or safe place for me and had to leave. Moreover, having a 1 days notice on when I’d get into the clinic  They gave me no time to prepare for these new and extreme conditions (they called me and said I have to decide on the spot if I wanted to come in tomorrow, otherwise I couldnt come into the clinic until March next year).

I am thankful to be back in the little safety net of therapy, being in the city I love with cafes and parks that can somewhat relax me and calm me down and my cousin and aunts to support me. Unfortunately, my parents put me under pressure to “contribute” more in the household. I never know what “enough” is. Everday I get home and do chores I live in fear that it is not enough and will result in them yelling at me again claiming arbitrarily that what I did was not enough in their opinion. Things are tense to say the least. They want me to start something and get better with my mental health but never really offer to help me themselves and I feel lost and alone. Because of this treatment I always feel that nothing I do is good enough and I can’t/shouldn’t even try in the first place. I am never sure if the standards they set for me are too high or if I am just being whiny and weak or not good enough objectively?

What part of this is my mental health? am I just being lazy? are they right? 

Here is the part I feel especially guilty about: Asking for help.

I wanted to accurately explain why and how I am struggling. I hope at least some of you can empathize and understand why this seemingly easy situation is so hard for me because of my family history and mental health.

Money doesn’t buy happiness but it does help alleviate certain financial problems. Being currently unable to get myself to get stable income I feel even more stuck and am struck with panic about how to visit my girlfriend at all.

What will you do when you have money? How will you spend it?

I am commited to fixing my mental health and will do weekly updates on what progress I’ve made. Therapy, looking into speech therapy paths, finding deals and dates for the cheapest possible flights to the US, hobbies like photography or making videos. Having people looking and validating the process makes me feel like I can do this and gives me a project to focus on. I just hope for your kindness to spare any money you have to contribute to bettering my current situation. If you want me to write anything for you, I am happy to just tell me which pairing and the general plot idea and if you want any specific things included. I’ll sincerely do my best.

Moreover, the money would truly be spent on what I need to get better and stabilize i.e. medication, plane tickets to see my girlfriend, equipment for filming/photography, semester fees and occasional mental health treats like going out to a warm cozy cafe to relax and not be faced with the constant stress and pressure at home (max. 15€ a week). I am happy to document these spendings for you. 

As soon as my life has stablized enough and therapy or others around me have helped me to get back on my feet, get a stable income, etc you don’t need to feel an obligation to donate and I can take my posts down if necessary.

My PayPal is https://www.paypal.me/ninin96 and I am truly grateful for anything you are willing to give me or comission me. 

Thank you for your time.

[jazillia007]

Thoughts on 2x13 - Part 2

Beth and Rio:

So while watching this episode I thought the moments BEFORE the kidnapping and shooting were actually interesting and a good follow up to what had happened in episode 12.

From Beth's point of view, she is nothing more than work for Rio. And honestly, when it comes to the crime part she IS a lot of work for Rio. And I was with Rio for being pissed at her, finding out all the rotten eggs she left behind left and right.

Still she goes to Rio to ask for help and it was heartbreaking to me to see the dismantled apartment but I also thought it was so in character for Rio. He can't trust Beth. With the FEDs breathing up her and therefore his neck, it's only logical for him to abandon his apartment.

I don't really know though why she broke in again. What did Beth try to achieve?

Then Rio is calling her and it was... awkward. I wouldn't call it sweet. It was also a bit weird that Rio made it sound like she called him when actually he called her.

He also tested her. Is Beth gonna lie again? And she did. She wasn't able to tell him that she is in his apartment to ask for help. I don't really understand this either other than for the writers to establish there are cameras in his apartment.

It's not well-written.

Then he hangs up on her and I thought it would've been much better if Beth had called him (if she had his number) and then Rio would've ended the call. But this way it was a bit meh.

I also wouldn't have minded if this would've been the last we would've seen/heard of Rio in season 2. Because honestly I believe if he wanted to he could just disappear for a while until the FEDs calm down.

And then to have him come back in season 3... that would've been nice.

But that's not who Rio is. Beth is his weakness. And despite his own codes he can't stop himself from helping.

That's what this season established.

This season did everything despite them being dysfunctional and problematic that Beth and Rio are more than business partners and that Beth is more to Rio – despite him being usually very careful – and Rio is more to Beth. I'm not talking about some big love story here with a happy ending. But of a complicated relationship with many layers and definitely conflicts but conflicts they overcome.

But then the writers decided to destroy (?) it.

(SPOILERS FOR KILLING EVE SEASON 1 AND 2)

Beth and Rio and the last scene:

As I said before I could've seen Beth and Rio ending up in a situation where they either shoot eachother OR have to decide to shoot the other one or not. But it all depended on how well-written it is.

I'm watching Killing Eve as well and I really don't want to compare Killing Eve with Good Girls because writing-wise there are worlds between these two shows. Killing Eve is well-written, delicate and perfect. Meanwhile Good Girls certainly has its moments but is sloppily written most of the times.

BUT what these two shows have in common is that they have two seasons which ended on similar notes. And I was so in awe when I watched the Killing Eve season 2 finale and right afterwards the Good Girls season 2 finale. Because it made clear why I loved the Killing Eve season finale so much while I didn't like the season finale of Good Girls.

And it all comes down to how it's written and how things are foreshadowed.

The relationship of Eve and Villainelle from the beginning is a relationship of obsession and fascination. It would take up too much time to write about them and all the layers involved but we can say their relationship is as dysfunctional as Beth and Rio (and up until the shooting scene in 2x13 even with the not well-written parts Brio as exactly that made sense to me as well).

There is this cat and mouse game between these two women which ends up with Eve in Villainelle's apartment (and Beth ends up in Rio's apartment) and Eve stabs Villainelle. She panics, trying to find something to stop the bleeding and Villainelle is defending herself by firing in Eve's direction before fleeing.

It's such a culmination of what had went down in season 1. It was shocking but also very much in character with how Villainelle and Eve were established. It was a twist but it didn't feel cheap or just to keep viewers watching. It felt organic.

In the Good Girls season 1 finale we had a similar scene and it felt very organic to me as well. Beth had set up Rio to go to jail and of course she hadn't thought things through. And it all got back to her, with Rio sitting in her dining room with her shitty husband all beaten up. And he gives her the opportunity to shoot either him or Dean to make them even.

It set up very well the dynamic of their relationship. How dysfunctional they're but at the same time can't get enough of eachother. The season ends with the viewer not knowing what Beth is gonna do. It could've felt cheap but it didn't.

We get the end of that scene in the beginning of season 2 and Beth can't do it and Rio is taking the gun from her, telling her she did her best. And then he is shooting Dean and they're even now.

If you think about it. That's who Beth and Rio are. It's messed up, especially when you think about it that even though he shot Beth's husband, she still ends up hooking up with him. But let's talk about that later.

I think 2x13 was trying to mirror the scene in 1x10 and 2x01. And that's where the writers failed. Meanwhile the writers of Killing Eve achieved it effortlessly.

The whole setup in Killing Eve season 2 was leading toward the last scene in 2x08. Something that was completely missing in Good Girls season 2. You can't make a U-Turn without explaining why or giving hints throughout the season. It's not how good writing works.

In season 2 of Killing Eve, Villainelle is so obsessed with Eve she basically stalks her, destroys Eve's already fragile marriage and shows Eve's husband who Eve is dealing with. Villainelle is sliding a lipstick in Eve's bag and when she is using it she cuts her lips because Villainelle put a razorblade in it. She also comes to Eve's home while she isn't there, brushing her teeth with Eve's toothbrush and then comes back and forces Eve to swallow „poison“.

In one word: Villainelle is fucked up. But in her world, she loves Eve. She believes that Eve is hers and that they're two sides of the same coin. And she isn't completely wrong. Because she gets Eve to kill Villainelle's attacker which to her is like a confirmation that they're now in this together and meant to be.

It all accumulates in the last scene when Eve discovers Villainelle could've defended herself and she denies Villainelle any companionship. Villainelle is genuinely surprised, hurt and disappointed. And she does the only thing she knows she is good at: she shoots Eve. And it's shocking, yes, but it's organic. Villainelle told Eve from early on: „I like you but I don't like you that much. […] Don’t forget: The only thing that makes you interesting is me.“.

So while the season 2 finale of Killing Eve was certainly emotional and shocking (that image of Eve lying in the ruins, both literally and as a metaphor for her life...), it never felt out of character or not something this show wasn't leading to.

Unlike the season 2 finale of Good Girls. NOTHING what happened in the season 2 finale leads to Beth shooting Rio.

Villainelle and Rio are completely different people. Villainelle is a serial killer and a psychopath. Rio isn't that at all. Does this mean he is not problematic? No, he is. He threatened Beth and the girls, especially in season 1, and he held a gun to Beth's throat. But it all made sense. He didn't know who these bitches are. Only that they didn't gave him his money. So we could all understand and follow his actions.

After 1x10 and 2x01 scene, it was also understandable that Beth would worry for her life. Rio just had shot her husband. It doesn't matter it was in character for him as a crime boss. I would be scared out of my life, so I did understand Beth's fear and her question „are you going to kill me?“. It must've baffled her when he replied „I'm gonna teach you.“.

After that Beth is causing problems not only for herself but also for the girls and most certainly for Rio. Which is why it disappoints me that Beth can admit her mistakes to Ruby but in the end puts the blame on Rio? I understand she is emotional and feeling cornered. But she asked to come back by leaving those pearls in season 1. Girl, you need to own your decisions and mistakes!

Anyway, despite all the problems there is also this undeniable attraction between her and Rio which accumulates in them hooking up in the bathroom with Dean only a few metres away from them. And from there the writers tried to emphasize even more that Beth's and Rio's relationship is the exact opposite of what Beth and Dean were. Dysfunctional but weirdly functional as well.

From season 1 onward, Rio listened to her, he called her out on her bullshit but he never disregarded her ideas before listening to them. He respected her albeit showing up at her house at random times (and sending her body parts...). But he also never stopped calling her out when got way over her head. He told her she is a drug dealer. Beth needed to hear that because she only experiences the tiny part of his world where she can get high on the power she is having without really experiencing repercussions.

After they hooked up Rio tried to manipulate her and that was – for me – a moment of „oh, did he use her all along?“. Yes, I had these thoughts multiple times, but mostly in season 1.

But then they both act like a jealous couple and my worries were all gone. And then 2x09 happens and the way the scene is filmed in the bedroom and even prior it's genuine and raw. They close the door and leave their crime personalities outside the bedroom and they kiss and it's all perfect. And then Rio brings back the Dubby and it all paints a completely different picture we're supposed to get of these two. It's all so completely different from how season 2 of Killing Eve set it all up.

Beth and Rio albeit having problems would always come back together. Yes, even with Beth still lacking in the crime life department and not being able to admit her mistakes, overall they would always comeback together in this problematic relationship and make things work.

When the walls of rotten eggs Beth has collected, start to crumble around her and Rio probably already knows about it, I completely understand his frustration and anger and that he is done and over with her. But at the same time he knows he isn't because he can't look Beth in the eyes when he is telling her „pretty much“. He believes they're two sides of the same coin. They're both lonely but they could be lonely together at the top. But Beth is left behind with the feeling „I'm alone in this“ and this man who made her feel things again only sees her as work – which she IS like I said before. She doesn't reflect on her wrongdoings which is extremely frustrating. A character flaw can only be relatable to a certain point and then it just gets ridiculous. She is a 40ish year old woman, for god's sake.

I expected the writers trying to mirror the scene from 1x10 and 2x01 but every fan theory was better and made more sense character-wise than what we actually got in the end.

I was so confused as to WHY Rio would feel the need to kidnap Beth. Also, how did he do it? Someone on Tumblr mentioned it: how could he be so sure Beth would forget her phone in the car? Beth was looking for her phone... was she certain she had in the backpockets of her jeans? Did Rio take it from her and put it in the car? Or did she really leave it there?

It doesn't add up. And it doesn't make sense Rio would be so drastic to kidnap Beth when he could simply call her. Tell her to come to his apartment. That he will help her. Why make Rio act so OOC?

I also believe that Rio genuinely thought of Turner as a „gift“ to Beth. This is your rotten egg, you have many but this is the one who will constantly cause problems, so get rid off it and we're even.

Was he planning to record it? Did he record it? Did/does he plan to use it as leverage against Beth? Just like he used „Boomer's“ body?

Basically killing two birds with one stone. Pulling Beth in deeper, making her go through with the last step she tried to avoid and having something in his hand to make sure Beth won't set him up again. Which in the end COULD'VE been a setup for any scenario in the future seasons where Beth decides that Rio is her rotten egg.

But to do so now... even with her thinking she is nothing to him, makes no sense.

Especially since season 2 set up Turner as the main antagonist for Beth who is constantly after her and closing in on her. I was sure she would kill him. But then to turn it against Rio and telling him HE is her problem? I don't have to repeat myself but: IT MAKES NO SENSE.

I'm not going to defend Beth shooting him. Yes, she was emotional. And I would've bought it as a reaction under immense stress if she would've shot him once. But 3 times?! That's a bit much. Yes, he called her „bitch“ - SHIT! He was genuinely shocked and surprised by what she did – and lunged himself at her but probably to stop her or/and to take the gun from her. It was terrible to watch.

Overall with Dean and Boomer getting redemption so easily, it was terrible to see NBC treat a male poc like this. It was an obscene moment to see Rio bleed like this, choking up blood and making the viewer believe that he will just die right there, in this very moment. And to make Turner get up so slow and pull out the phone taunting Rio about helping him or not. It was pretty clear the only evil person in this room is Turner, not Rio, and I can't wait for Rio to let Turner know „yes, I owe you... I owe you a slow death.“.

When Rio laughed I think many thought the writers wanted to portray him as crazy. BUT I don't think they did. When I had an accident and the shock afterwards subsided I made a lot of jokes lying there in the ER with my leg broken. The doctors had to give me a sedative to calm me down. So I think with Rio there is a mix of „this bitch really shot me“ and the shock setting in and subsiding and laughing is working as a transient response.

As for Beth, it was so weird to me that she would run for Turner right away. Okay, the writers apparently decided that Rio is the problem and suddenly Turner is the person she should trust? Because she thinks after Boomer turned himself in she is off the hook? And why give Turner the gun? It's just moments like these that make it clear she is anything but ready to be the „King“. Yes, she is in a exceptional situation and who knows how we would react? But still... trusting Turner is a bit too much and we were proven to be correct when he basically told Rio that this is definitely not over and Beth they will see how it goes.

As for Beth shooting Rio: I will say I thought she looked genuinely upset and shaken by her own actions. Again, not defending what the writers did with Rio and Beth in this scene, only observing. Because from all the comments it sounded like she was gleeful and happy she did what she did. And I will say: that's not the case.

But I also think the writers didn't give us enough moments of Beth really thinking about and regretting what she did and of course when she tells Annie and Ruby that „he is gone“ (do they know she shot Rio?) it's not really showing Beth as empathetic. How about not giving us Beth and Dean eating ice cream but give us Beth struggeling with what she has done? I hope we will get that in season 3.

Although I thought it was telling that while she was laughing and disappointed when Dean didn't die after Rio shot him, in 2x13 she walked home in daze right into Dean's arms and cried. Let's put aside she is in Dean's arms. She cried. She didn't cry when Dean got shot but she cried after shooting Rio, believing he is dead.

Again, I'm not sugarcoating what she did. I'm just pointing out the details I noticed and the little differences between 2x01 and 2x13.

Also, I thought the scene in the park was not well-written. The image was good but I think it would've worked better without the other moms and again it should've been longer to show that Beth is realizing that she shot a father. A father of a young boy who became friends with her daughter. A father she defended when Dean implied Rio would kidnap their daughter. It could've been powerful scene but it got watered down.

In the end, the shooting scene didn't work for me as a mirror scene like it did in Killing Eve because the setup throughout the season was non-existent.

Are we supposed to think Rio played Beth the whole time? Are all the moments which felt like something special are nothing? If so they did a pretty bad job at it (how lame was Beth's „WHO is he?“ when he left all his stuff in the storage room?) And frankly, I don't believe it. In a sad way I really think that Beth and Rio do have genuine feelings for eachother but they're also stuck in this situation which will always lead to misunderstandings (because they never really TALK!) and constant danger of betrayal.

And now with Beth taking the last step but shooting Rio it's gonna be interesting how this will play out in season 3. In a weird way, Rio should almost be proud of Beth because she „killed“ the King. He didn't think she would be able to do it and certainly thought she would take Turner down but in the end she made a completely different decision. And if anything that's at least a bit in character for Beth, that she does things Rio can't predict. Just like he didn't predict she would leave her pearls in that warehouse.

Personally, I wanted Beth and Rio to end on a tense note for season 3 but I didn't want it to go full-on trust issues, revenge and rivalry. Simply because this is not how season 2 was written like up until 2x13. And to make a u-turn like this just for the shock moment is just lame. I get it, this episode was basically written in case Good Girls wouldn't get a renewal but still it's the laziest writing I've experienced in a long time.

I think if the shooting scene would've played out differently. With Beth shooting Turner. Like something that makes sense, it could've turned out to be a very satisfying season finale. And it would've been interesting to see how Rio is using the footage to start their cat and mouse game in season 3 yet again (I think he wanted her back after their fallout in 2x12 hence why Turner as the gift for Beth). I don't think with how season 2 played out, it makes sense for Beth to hurt Rio. So I can't find anything satisfying or good about this finale. Unlike Killing Eve which left me behind very satisfied despite Villainelle shooting Eve.

Two similar scenes and season finales but executed so differently, that in one tv show it's utterly shocking yet perfect meanwhile in the other tv show it's sloppily written overall and anything but perfect.

And here I am so very curious how season 3 will play out for Beth and Rio. Apparently I like torturing myself.

P.S.: If you plan on writing me any anon hate, save your words! I’m ready and happy to discuss the season finale with anyone who is willing to discuss it like adults. Ain’t nobody got time for anon hate.

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 3 - “Am I Old?” - Sarah

So far Shosha and Yujo haven’t lost any challenges, if we keep winning until the swap  i fear that the other tribes will target our people because we’re all still intact. Maybe it would be a good thing to maybe lose one? I dunno

ちくしょう 😉

FUCK the hosts for this how many hours can you put in challenge this early in the game, i'm literally fucking pissed, FUMIN love! i knew we were gonna lose from early on but i still put in the time and hours to distract myself from this bitch ass boy who curved me yesterday night, whatever. i'm just so exhausted like of the constant losing, the tribal council, ugh. i haven't been on a losing tribe like this in SO long. and i'm so.. over it. i can't stand losing and i can't stand that emma is immune right now because deciding who to vote off is going to be impossible and people are going to be coming for me so i'm like, probably most definitely gone or whatever. and that means i'm going to have to do the arena challenge and NOT have a day off which... ugh....... dont get me wrong i know that ORGs are time commitments but usually i win the premerge challenges so THIS IS NEW OKAy kdhfnsdkfndkfndf. i'm just annoyed and i'm so over my tribe... and i didn't find any advantages at the olympic village i finally remembered to search in. anyway i dont even wanna THINK about tribal rn so this is just me saying fuck this challenge and ughhh i'm so TIRED just so fatigued of everything, i'll like come back tmrw and strategize or something. *throws a rock at the cameraman* fuck this shit i'm out, give me the osake RIGHT! GOD DAMN! NOW! (alcohol for all you non duolingo-ers)

i'm kinda happy that bailey was evacuated from the game, she would have been voted out regardless and this gives our tribe better odds at survival. even if we had gone to tribal i would've been comfortable, but now i feel like it's better than i try to prove my value as a player by competing in the arena! kinda excited.

tribal three times in a row check! 😍✨💋 LMAO no one is wanting to actually talk to me about it so i’m hoping that i can still sway the votes in my favor but we’ll see! i think landen would defiantly do his best to help keep me from going, but it’s all a matter of who would we send instead. so! we’ll see! at least i can say i did my best 

So, for starters, the past round went pretty much as expected.  Kathy was the vote off from my tribe, and she lost at the arena, as well, past round I found nothing yet again at the village.   Now, right now in terms of this round, my tribe didn't win immunity, but Bailey ended up getting medically evacuated due to getting three inactivity strikes, so the tribal got cancelled for my tribe, and Beck ended up volunteering to do the arena.  So basically, just awaiting to search Olympic Village again, and hoping to goodness there is a tribe swap next round, since right now my tribe is just my alliance with Ben and Beck, which will make things rough come another loss with no swap.

yep worst case scenario happened. My tribe lost with me sitting out and Will, my one main ally, not showing up to the challenge at all!! I was hoping it could be an easy vote so i didn’t have to vote and I could get the advantage but now it seems like my tribe is ready to boot Will and if I want that advantage I need two of those other three to vote against each other! God this is gonna be hard... 

I’m in a tough predicament here. I could either A. play it safe, agree with everyone to vote will or B. try to save my ally and my advantage at the same time by getting Sarah and Eve to vote out Nik, risking my whole game. Godddd I don’t know!! aaaagh! 

it's 10am, tribal is in 10 hours, and i've had about 10 separate heart attacks throughout the morning. i don't know what to do tonight. i'm really struggling to figure out what's right. my heart says jacob, that's definitely where i'm leaning. juls is my closest ally at this point, and after the whole debacle with Billy, voting him out, then instantly starting to bond with him and all that, and apologizing, and him sticking by me even after I voted him out first, I would feel terrible voting for him again and I want us to prove to eachother we can trust eachother. but the fact he said juls' name.. if that's who he's going to go for, i simply can't prove to him i will vote with him. i'm tight with juls, she saved me even over emma, and i just really feel a bond with her. we're both the youngest in this cast, we both have lots in common, it really do feel like we're the same person at times. at the same time, my head tells me jacob is good in challenges, and will be ok in arena, but that i really don't need a 3rd person upset at me for going to the arena, and if Emma is still coming after me, she could probably use me coming for Jacob to her advantage, but I don't even know where she's voting or what she's thinking. i'm torn about this vote, and it's all the more annoying that if emma just hadn't fucked up at the last challenge, we wouldn't be here without someone to vote right now. we'd all be able to agree on emma or jacob probably, and it would just... it would still suck complete ass, but it wouldn't be as complicated as it is now. with a tribe as tiny as 5 people, going to tribal THREE times, with all the same 5 people.. it's just not something we can afford. our tribe is being torn apart and... whew, i just need the swap. give it to me rn. as of now, i'm thinking i'm going to vote jacob, and i hope i can get billy on board for that and take his mind off juls. that's where my head is at right now... tribal is making me sick to my stomach

What the f does I stan you even mean? Am I old? And I no longer hip and down with the lingo? Bogus, man...

Our first tribal is tonight... I hate to say it, but I'm voting for Will. Nobody has heard from him in days, or for the last challenge, and tonight will be a second strike if he doesn't come back for tribal. WILL I'M SORRY. I definitely would not have voted him otherwise, he did great on the other challenges and is a great personality to have around. Come back for the next season Will.. 

I am the swing vote again lol Juls got blamed for messing up last vote by Emma and Billy, which considering Juls is beloved by everyone, PERFECT But now since we lost I need to pick a side, Landen and Juls or Emma and Billy. I like Emma, Billy sketches me out. Landen is the perfect meat shield for eternity. He's a bit of a blabbermouth. I watched the tapes of the live tribal, he sold me out unknowingly in front of Billy. How am I supposed to both sides these people now!? I could get sold onto a Landen vote, but that's not being sold, so WELL, who do I screw over. I feel so bad voting out Juls, but that's a reason to vote her out too, gah. GAH. Do I pick a side and lowkey goat, or do I make my control of the tribe forefront (but not evident because everyone hates each other) Time will tell. 1 Hour until tribal, and I have no idea what to do. inb4 voted out

why the FUCK does emma have immunity? she's literally so useless and does nothing in challenges... and the fact she already turned on juls, this quick, over practically nothing? im sick to my stomach, love. i know i said that already, but you know what? I must have the flu, because my nausea is neverending with this tribe and our constant spins at tribal council. as emma once said, we're basically taking turns sending people to the hellish arena. but the twist is so complex because you can't send someone you like there, because there IS always the very real chance that they lose the challenge. going there could be a good risk if you're smart with it, but it could be a risk that puts your entire game in jeopardy and i'm a KNOWN safe player when it comes to game mechanics ^_^ the only risks i take are in emotional labor! speaking of, myself and juls have both been working very hard to keep her safe from billy and emma's focused target on her, but i don't see it happening.. Billy and em seem to be tight now and it seems like they've convinced jacob to take out juls. The really horrible thing about all this, is that if i want to save juls.... i'm likely going to have to vote billy. and that is going to be aching, because i really like the guy, and i was being 100% honest and genuine with him saying i wanted to be on his side, to prove to him i have his trust and that i will be loyal to him and want to work with him til the endgame and be his ally. but if he's going to go against juls and i have to choose between the two of them..... i mean, i can't choose billy. it would be bad. so there's 30 minutes left and i don't have a clear idea of what's happening yet and any choice i make will permanently damage a tight connection that I thought I had heading into the later game. I guess in good news, Sammy, Caeleb, and a new friend, Jordan, ALL messaged me saying good luck at tribal, and talking to me a bit about it, saying they hope I'm safe. Forming those cross tribal bonds could be crucial in surviving the next stage of the game, which, god please, is happening VERY soon... *i bind myself to the cross* Give me strength to get through this, Japan. Onegaishimasu.

So far the game is makin  me p sad, I’m super tired of going to tribal and having to send people to arena. And that Japanese challenge was so damn frustrating 

so tribal last night.... i mean, uh, i guess my power, huh? lmao........... MESS!!! IM A MESS MY GAME IS A MESS THIS WHOLE DAMN THING IS A MESS. Someone get me a MOP rn because Sonkei-Matsing tribe is STRUGGLING and it's all EMMA'S FAULT!!!!! On the other hand, I'm very grateful Emma is an idiot, because Billy got to be safe!!! So let me explain what happened in that bonkers tribal council, from MY perspective... When I heard that my closest ally Juls had her name coming up, i was like, oh HELL. NO. So I put in the WORK to get Jacob and Billy to vote for eachother. Don't get me wrong, Juls worked hella hard on this too, she is a bad ass bitch and she deserves credit. But I do believe I was a major factor in swaying their votes as well as I'd built pretty close relationships with each of them in terms of strategy. But with Billy, that relationship wasn't a tight trusting one, more of a, please, I like you a lot, let me prove to you that I can be trusted and we can work together. Let us prove that to eachother. But here's how it happened. Even though Jacob and Billy DID vote for eachother... NEITHER OF THEM TOLD ME THEY WERE VOTING FOR EACH-OTHER. BILLY LED ME TO BELIEVE HE WAS VOTING JULS THE WHOLEEEEE TIME. And initially, I was fine with it, and i was STILL going to vote Jacob off with Juls!! Thinking there was nothing I could do and she would go 3-2. But then, 5 minutes into tribal, you'll see me furiously typing... Because Jacob FINALLY told me he was going to vote for Billy (and that's on Whispering!!! #LiveTribal!!) So from my perspective.... Billy and Emma are voting Juls. Juls is voting Jacob. Jacob is voting Billy. It's 2-1-1... and if I vote for Jacob, then Jacob and Juls can't vote, and Billy and Emma have the majority to send Juls out, saving Jacob on the revote. BUT if I vote for Billy, then Billy and Juls can't vote, and now me and Jacob have the majority over Emma. That was the thought process behind my initial vote for Billy. LITTLE DID I KNOW BILLY ACTUALLY WAS VOTING WITH ME AND NOW I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR VOTING FOR HIM AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO HIM BUT HE DIDN'T TEXT ME WHEN HE GOT OFF AND UGH, I NEED TO MAKE THIS RIGHT!!!! Emotional labor is the most annoying thing, and I'm really bad it. I'm terrible at apologizing and owning up to things, maybe that's why I just let my friendships fall apart in real life instead of doing the actual work to save them once a problem happens. because emotional labor is fucking annoying, exhausting, and stressful! I don't got time for it! But now, I need to have time for it, because our tribes are FIVE PEOPLE strong, and at the next tribal council, if I don't get my relationship with Billy in check, I WILL be gone. It is his vote that I need to help make sure Emma's psycho ass goes home, and if he, Jacob, and Emma all think they're on the bottom... Yikes. I hope Billy understands that I was absolutely disgusted it came down to him or Juls and I thought I was doing everything I could to save an ally.. I even swayed Juls to help save him with me, when she felt uncomfortable with him. He totally screwed up by like... not telling me he was voting with me, he said in tribal people just need to be real with where they're voting, and I agree! I wish he had just followed his own advice with me, because he would still be here right now. But his screw up does not at all compare to Emma... what the FUCK was she thinking, self-voting like that...? Like, HELLO? She throws out Juls' name all round, for I don't even know WHAT reason, since they were supposedly close, but it's implied she throws out Juls' name for getting 4 crowns on the challenge... Um, YOU STUPID BITCH YOU LITERALLY ONLY GOT ONE MORE CROWN THAN HER AND BEFORE THAT DID NOTHING ON THE SLIDE PUZZLE CHALLENGE OR THE TRIBE CHANT, DESPITE US KNOWING YOU CAN PUT IN THE TIME WHEN YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT IN THE ARENA :) Headass.... Then, after doing that all round, she SELF-VOTES??? WITH IMMUNITY AROUND HER NECK??? Girl you MUST be crazy, cus this is psychotic. Headass, deadass, she is gone the next time we lose tribal, which, lbr, is probably next time because we're LIT RALLY matsing. at least caeleb thinks i'm denise though. i feel like i have the same amount of wrinkles as her, after the stress of this game like 3 rounds in. imagine how tired i am.  

Round 3's over! That's fun, innit? Glad we got rid of some dead weight in Bailey. As for friendships and alliances, I'm still slightly on edge about Darcy - I trust Beck over him. Got acquainted with Karen - they seem nice, but I'll keep an eye on them, too. Other than that, Nicole and Tommy are the people I'm mainly corresponding with. Seems like fun! :) Here's to a fun Round 4!

Okay so we won this round which is fun! Tommy went to the arena which gives me, Karen and Kevin a good chance to bond because Stoner just isn’t paying attention ever. I wonder if he has even made a confessional. Anyway, I’m going to be real annoyed if we lose and he whips out an idol. Also going to be mad if after this round there’s a swap and I’m swapfucked. I don’t think it really COULD happen to me though, because I’ve talked to at least one newbie on each of the tribes. Unless I’m stuck with Nik, Emma and Billy who have no interest in speaking to me, I think I’ll be fine. Speaking of newbies, I find myself talking to Ben a lot but I’m under the impression he talks to a lot of people. He reminds me of a lot of friendly pure men in this community like Joey, just very social and very nice! The only thing is sometimes he will say something in a conversation and I don’t necessarily know where to go with it. For example right now he’s having a full conversation with me in the village chat about pizza. I don’t know what to do with this and rather not be so vocal in the village chat. While the other newbies are increasingly hard to talk to, and sitting around all day waiting for the arena stuff is boring, Ben is a very nice person to talk to but I just wish we would talk like...about the game not what I’m eating. When it comes down to it I want to know I have an ally or two to bring to the end that might offset my immediate threat of being a winner, but not give them so much power that they win over jury votes. He seems to be showing his social side and not giving me any game info at the same time, which I have to look out for. All of the other newbies I’ve spoken to have talked game. He’s either playing a really good game by doing this or a really transparent one, I can’t tell yet. We will have to see! 

Last night proved something that I’ve been wondering about Landen for a while. He truly is a snake. I unintentionally made a really good move in keeping it mysterious on who I was voting. In order to make the vote go his way and to keep Juls, he instead changed the vote to ME and got Jacob to do the same. Sneaky mother fucker 😋 thank god Juls stayed the same though. I know for an absolute fact now that I won’t be able to trust him. As for Jacob, I do hope he comes back, because now that I know where the tribe stands I know I can get him on my side.

I don't know if I ever had such a frustrating round for challenges first duolingo and now the arena I was in the lead in front of everyone until the last clue and I lost it all I didn't get a medal. I'm so pissed, you really don't wanna @ me anytime soon because I'm at the point where I wanna go off on someone. 

Love the tribe, so happy we 5-0d the last tribal!! it was a cute moment!! hehe, we seem to be very together as a unit

So Will’s gone, well he’s at the arena but i think he died so he’s probably out for good. Now that he’s out that leaves me on the bottom of my tribe as the next to go, my only hope is getting as close to sarah as I can and crossing my fingers for a swap! Due to that triple tribal I think it’s going to happen next... hopefully! 

Ughh i keep forgetting to make confessionals until right before the round ends so im always like oh shit and then dont really know what im gonna talk about so its not good. hows things in the life of jordan pines? great thanks for asking, while i still feel on the bottom of my tirbe i definitly see a swap coming soon which i think depending on how it goes would be pretty good for me. Id ideally like to stay with most of the people ive been with plus new ones, becuse i think im seen as like an expendable numebr to caeleb and Jacob. I want them to keep thinking of me like this while I go out and start forming stronger relationships, keep bringing in those jordan pines minions, i got my sights set on billy right now, i like him but he makes me look as humble as they come and ive i could definitly turn him into a goat for me with the right coaxing. Im hoping will survives the arena cause hes for sure a number for me, but hes also a lil innactive so maybe he peaced. Im starting to build relationships with Landen who I like. I havent even looked at the all winners tribe holy shit. Karen and Stoner are gonna be my biggest obstacles as they dont necesarily love me. Im gonna try to work with Nicole for a bit if i can tbh. Thats really all im feeling right now. I think best cast scenario is people use me as a number and carry me just a little too far that I can turn shit around and fuck em over. It's definitely gonna be an uphill climb to the finish line, but the only way to do it is go step by step.

I feel like I am in a great position on my tribe! I trust Sarah and Eve a lot. Pete says he has my back so we can only hope that in the case of another tribal council, I will be safe! I’m still going to work my ass off and play my ass off to stay safe and not have to go to another tribal! This game is long and hard and I’m trying to see big picture. And within that big picture is a flashing sign that’s telling me there’s a tribe swap soon! Hopefully I’ll be able to work some magic and avoid being on a tribe with individuals that don’t like me. But overall I’m feeling pretty good after the last tribal!

[yuissamidare]

@codes i think i may have put this on my artblog but... Here

i guess ill start w ichi bc i always forget about him somehow like i always come up short when im making lists and im like 'oh wait shit yeah that guy’ bc im stupid n i only think of fishing trio + choro. I’m an Idiot. idk i never thought too hard on ichi bc i so rarely think about him but he looks so high its really funny i said this on main but he looks like my friend when he decided to try a weed gummy bear then started babbling about hentai then watched to watch porn with me but got mad all the intro scenes are a billion years long and started ranting about the industry but now that i think about it he looks like someone who used to send me weird shit when he was high like bad pick up lines about body parts i wish i didnt have

and thats so funny that its Ichimatsu who looks like that but also proof that hes high. but anyway!! hes really cute and im mad hes boutta ruin my reputation for my complete and utter lack of care and interest in him no matter what im mad. my friend gwyn said 'Sp lubing us up for the fuckening that is the reason why Ichi is sad in present day’ im really curious at the change like if hes trying a fake it till you make it type thing bc really emotionally exhausted or if hes just genuinely having a good time or hes puttin on a front since like. nails who stand get hammered down right??? just gotta do your best n Never Relax n i can relate to all that. but uhhh old hcs i guess

in kun ichi was the most serious! really smart but just as bad w school as the rest of them apparently but!! yeah so id think that!! ichis that guy who participates in class discussion constantly and is always willing to debate the readings, but turns in sloppy papers with typos and no a coherency or stucture or anything. he’s A+ in participation but has an average of 60% on most of the written assignments with points knocked bc of lateness then more bc its A Mess. you could ask about the prompts for one of his papers, he could babble about his position on it complete with paragraphs and footnotes but like the day before its due hes playing rpgs and watching horror movies.

his classmates think hes so smart n so intimidating. the family knows hes a hot mess. the teachers tell him he has a lot of potential but they don’t think hes applying himself. all are right. also he doesnt cheat or let people cheat off of him since hes always been about rules and boundaries and Rightness n he n jyushi were the only ones who Minded Themselves in kun

uhh jyushi!! let me talk about schoolwork again bc yeah i love jyushi so so so so much and thinking of him in a school environment is so weird i thought about it a lot n i thought about it him in kun n san and Woah!! i really really love delinquent jyushi, bc when i saw that i was like 'huh! that fits actually!!’ i love that like him and choro flip flopped completely from what i thought. his school must be so cold theyre too cheap to afford heating in the winter and in summer the acs Blast. he was so Shy and quiet and he cried and he liked to sing so i always thought that when he participated in chorus festivals hes always like right in front!! he hums a lot in class and also moves around alot bc he actually like school and people like primary trio are the types that make friends often. i wasnt supposed to talk about this yet whoops.

unlike ichi who relatively neat despite everything but has shit notes, jyushis notes are amazing and understandable and utterly illegible.

theyre covered in doodles, arrows and lines leading every which way, different colors but not like color coded n theyre not in order by date, but he opens to a random page every time yet somehow always seems to know where to find each lesson. he writes footnotes and caveats and corrections and criticisms of the teachers and random thoughts and just smears ink everywhere. sometimes his notes are on a completely different subject. the notebook itself is a horrifying mess, the front and back covers both covered in drawings and designs and falling apart, random papers shoved between the pages, coming apart at the seams, covered in stains of unknown origin. assignments are full of emoticons and informal language, and they always manage to make his teachers feel like hes smarter than they are (most likely). he does his projects the minute theyre assigned, and is finished a minute later so can talk to his friends. he loved school.

sophie told me once about how she thought was Like That was bc one of his main concerns is that he thought he had nothing that made him Jyushi n in kun she said he might have been the one who was the most concerned about having a distinctive personality and i talked about how that sorta carried over san and how he always blended in bc of how gentle and soft and push-overy he was. he was actually the and most gullible and weakest in kun so i was like :0 when i saw that and intentionally did stuff like only carry 14 yen in his pockets to be quirky but it always sorta fell flat and he was still invisible so i was like hmmmmm. and i can see how he couldve toughened up and thinking of this now!! i love that. oh im so happy. this is so much better than i ever couldve imagined ever.

totty…. i do not think he was very popular or good at school. i think he’s very decent at schoolwork but he never put much effort into it. just copies whats on the board but if the class runs out of allotted lesson time n he couldnt finish his work he just didnt do it like cram schools a pain in the ass. if he put effort hed be a star student but he just craps out whatever since hes was the laziest!! oh but something i noticed was that him and jyushi would play together often since sometime he felt overwhelmed by karamatsu a lot. also hes the money thief and scammer its great kun todo is so good. he gets shy and flustered easy too!!

but uhh yeah!! depending on the day im always like 'zaimoku love each other so much they are best friends and the perfect other halves!!’ then im like 'these mofos hate each other what the fuck is this trainwreck’ did you see their shitty small talk in the horse episode. what was that. like they are genuinely trying to communicate and are pretty easy with each other but they have nothing to say. its like when youre having a boring day at school and theres nothing to talk about with an acquaintance so you just look at the walls and go 'have you ever noticed how stupid these posters are’ then you both start reading posters aloud but you both know its not that funny and youre just doing it to waste time but you still enjoy their company you just dont want silence. thats their relationship. and i think they are just very similar in very different ways and like. the key things that make them both similar and different and the same fuck them up (like suiriku!! theyre both really similar even if it doesn’t seem like it at first which is why their compatibility in the relationship chart was so low in s1, but i saw a lot of improvement in both of their behaviours and their communication and honestly. s2 was worth it for that sophie was so happy to see her faves get along) like sometimes when you look in the mirror all the things you see are the things you dont like about yourself instead of what makes you wonderful and unique. also i didnt mean to talk about this but i guess i am.

but yeah. totty is bitter n resentful at kara during hs n karas more confused and upset at tottys behaviour in their twenties n thats bc like i said. theyre dumb. karamatsu!! i think was actually pretty popular in highschool n had a good amount of friends - i genuinely think theatre kids are well liked bc i literally know everyone in my department and im friends w a good amount of people and im not even That extroverted. my actual extrovert friends know everyone in the school by name and everyone in my department is so nice even though theres a lot of bitchiness and drama its not as bad as w other humanities studies (jesus christ humanity students outside of theatre are a hot mess.)

uh yeah n that ultimately makes totty feel a bit… betrayed? karamatsu is his partner! theyre supposed to be there for eachother! kara’s the first one to branch out, get friends etc etc and todomatsus left behind bc hes always the one playimg follow the leader and he breaks out of that once they graduate - he grows up resenting karamatsu slightly though he still cares. but this time Hes the one cancelling plans to hang out with friends instead. my friend katie put it best when, in response to me telling them this, they sent me:

'kara: totty you have so many friends now. We barely see you anymore.

totty, applying chapstick: well, I learned it from the best.’

when i told them about it. but at the time gwyn and i were babbling about possibilities and different storylines and how theres a possiblity the movie might break down into three manageable plotlines n she gave zaimoku 'popularity’ and this was me throwing out ideas but honestly. Good. (aha, the end of this scenario ended up with todo throwing hands and shoulder checking someone outside a window and then getting removed from the premise n hanging with atsushi all night after) why am i on this. shit what happened here.

uhh but yeah totty is Def someone with learned behaviours rather than being a natural extrovert honestly just look at him hes an introverted mess masquerading as a decent human being and i know full well how people like that are bc some of them have been my best friends for years n seein the new hs promos solidifies that fact bc look at him. Crybaby. He is Miniscule. A Child.

then its 'delinquent who looks like an honour student’ choro. i never studied him until sophie started liking choro n since i love sophie i wanted to take an interest in him too. n i started to think very hard about him! then gwyn planted this in me n its taken root and im just never not gonna think its great. yall see his shitty gokudo impression what a bossy lil shit. he pulled a whip on kara once and it was mad funny but also Gwyns Big Evidence for him just being the absolute worst not like a casually skips class type but a Choro was a legit a bully and really mean n sabatoged other classmates to make him look like he was 100% That Bitch. maybe not him being Mean and cruel but just an asshole who bums around, is something i really like that one a lot its been one of my faves since gwyn n i started talking about it but i just!! have a ton of other things too!!

hes a lot like karamatsu in that theyre both stupid and weird and embarrassing and they put on airs but they also!! dont try!! they talk so big and such high goals n expectations and they dont do shit bc they have so much hubris but i always talk about them bc suiriku is sophies Beloved so ill like. Not. but he acts like he’s better than all of them n forces the role of the straight man on himself because he wants to be seen as the responible, level headed one even if hes just. So Much.

i think the movies calling back to how touchy feely and clingy he was in kun and adding on to how jyushis a delinquent and kara… Is Like That he’ll be around them the most bc jyushi might either be really protective or push him away and then they do something to mend their relationship later on or hell cling to kara and they just. grow apart. sticking to my hc until the end bitches. oh.

for choro… personally!! i thought hed be a slacker instead of a delinquent but not in the way totty slacked - totty was lazy n knew the work but didnt want to put in effort but choro just. Doesnt. choro has so much energy all the time and choro Can Not deal with school situations. bc like… you always hear people say that studying is meant to be done at the desk, silently, no distractions what so ever!! focus on notes and nothing else!! ise a highlighter but dont use it too much!! make your notes legible but you only have five minutes before the board gets erased!! review!!! look at your notes or youll die! take breaks bit dont take too long and honestly. listen. kun choro wouldnt be able to stand that shit and id think hed just think he was doing it The Wrong Way n he just wasnt meant to do it.

he doesnt like quiet classrooms!! he cant study like that and hell get distracted. he cant sit still n thats why totoko broke up w him in the beer ad and why hes just Everywhere in kun!! hes understimulated and its just Ugh! you know??? he’ll fidget w his pens until he breaks them or hum or tap his foot and annoy everyone or leave for the bathroom at least three times a class just to get up and move.

eventually he just. gives up even though hes super smart he like, stops caring bc if you dont care to understand material then you wont have to read and read and reread and rereread something to get it! classes just make everything uncomphrehensible and makes any idea he may have sublimate into nothing. but he can work on the trains and the buses! he needs something kenetic to get him moving and trains n shit always have enough going on to work with, just like with home!! chorochoro motherfuckers. he works much better moving forward, ironic as that is. he feels sorta set apart from every thing like hes behind some big plane of glass doing everything wrong and being all set apart from everything. eventually he takes to acting like a real fussy mom to avoid his own problems and help everyone else out even though hes annoying and even when he graduates but it gets Worse bc then figures out how much!!! he fucked up!! then he kicks himself into high gear n still cant do shit. ahh.

its illegal for me to talk about choukei bc i talk about them so much and im always being annoying n typing stupid essays about them bc theyre… my faves.. But this is so long…

it actually makes me super happy that he kara acne he still can be really fighty and he cries and he still does stupid impulsive shit for others and even though hes really sweet and caring is still an utter monster and fucking mess of a person. love him. i always like to think his shittymatsu nickname came from iyami n it just morphed from there bc in 66 you can hear iyami calling him specifically garbage. ive always been glad they kept his sewing hobby too. ahh, actually from what i see hes pretty similarities to kun so i wonder when he decided to air out that teremity. idk what to say about him that i havent in tottys section. he just Feels like someone who had a good support group and nice friends bc of how hes able to move in the world. kara feels like some whos doing their growing up in their twenties bc highschool came easy to them and now theyre just really struggling with the real world. like i shouldve expected softboy hs kara and i appreciate him very much!! i talk about choukei a lot bc they were the first characters that spoke so i immediately attached myself to them n i talk about karamatsu Specifically but im not sure i ever mentioned how much i appreciated how smart and cautious hes proved himself to be time and time again, like how hes the only one to point out totokos fish shtick aint doing her favours or how he was the first one to notice osos irritation n how you can pick out his voice warning jyushi to calm down in the bg of 24 or how in the comedian episode he was ready to take Notes from iyami and a lot of other small things!!

i would think hes actually a bit more serious n calm in hs and san is him amping up traits that drew people to him in hs and it backfiring on kara spectacularly - kara is always gauging people and their reactions and acting in a way he believes will get something positive, but at the same time is utterly oblivious when it comes to actually Getting them n i talked about the girls on the bridge but this is also prevalent with ichi who kara just. Doesnt Get and can not figure out how to maneuver their relationship. like oso, kara is and elder brother!! and elder brothers have an image theyre supposed to uphold, but while kara acts the part he doesnt do the shit a big brother does and shrugs that responsibility off on oso until oso fucks up until s2, where they share the role more evenly and his relationship with ichi improves but this is another essay entirely. what im trying to get with that is that hyperfocus on what other people think of him, but his complete disregard when it comes to their actual reaction and instead what he wants their reactions to be would also greatly impact him transtioning from a teen to an adult im sorry im getting sloppy now

osomatsu… i really adore him too much and i understand how totty felt in their episode bc i also lent my phone to a friend who needed to desperately jack it before meeting new people n i talk about him a whole lot too. hes mean and an asshole and garbage n i know a lot of people find him plain n boring but idk. i dont think thats the case hes a really complexed n nuanced character n hes literally has always been way back from kun n thats expected from a main character but… hes always been mean n dumb n sly and he can get so pathetically vunerable and thats literally!! him. hes a normal dude nothing wrong with that n it can be real refreshing. n i suppose im so fond of fishing trio+choro bc they remind me of my friends. but yeah even if hes 'plain’ i dont see why thats a bad thing. n this they always have the most interesting body language like despite kara being So Much his body language was always closed off n singled him out as everything But exuberant and bright, and osos quirks like how he stands on his toes a lot had always been so cute… its relaxed and open n screams Talk To Me!!!!

ahh but i always end up thinking oso was. oso??? theres not much to say that i havent before but i do think that he was a lot more like he was in episode 2 when ranting to chibita about having shitty brothers and then actively Chose to be a good brother even if he wasnt a good person and be a stable rock and be someone they could all come back to at the end of the day. and hes good at math im never letting this die.