#people would be like 'oh wanna help me with my veggie garden?' even before I tried growing vegetables

[anipgarden]

Adding To or Starting a Garden

AKA, the beginning of the Plants-Related section of this series.

This is my third post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

Got an area of lawn you’d like to convert to a wildlife haven? An area you can stick some hanging baskets in? Want to know how your garden of tomatoes and zucchinis is already putting in a lot of work? This is the section for you!

It would be dumb of me to not acknowledge that the act of gardening can come with a lot of costs. Buying seeds, buying plants, buying soil, raised bed materials, mulch, etc. … it can all get a bit daunting, let’s be honest! But there’s quite a few ways to get seeds and plants for free or extremely cheap, which I’ll be addressing in this section! The next section will be all about addressing the other Costs in gardening and how to mitigate or eliminate them entirely.

Also, do keep in mind; there’s no need to try and convert a whole area from lawn to garden or unused to garden at once. In fact, it could actually be extremely beneficial to do it a little at a time--maybe four or five square feet to start out.

Front Lawn (or Managing Principles)

If you live in a place where you’re required to have a grass turf lawn (HOA’s come to mind…), try replacing it with native grasses instead! You could even possibly use a low-growing ground cover plant like clover to a similar effect! Reseeding/replacing an entire lawn can be a big upfront cost, but even just letting the lawn be a little messy and tall helps. If the lawn gets patchy, leave the bare spots for a little while and something different will likely pop up! Pioneer species will fill the gaps and provide benefits to other plants around them, support animals, and more! If you want to take the guesswork out of it, you could always research what the pioneer species are in your area and plant the ones you like most. 

Obtaining Seeds for Cheap or Free

The cheapest way to start a garden is by far via seeds. However, seeds can be a bit complicated to grow, and some sources make them… way overpriced. Fortunately there are ways to get seeds for little to no cost! 

Some places sell seeds for as low as a dollar, 50 cents, or 25 cents! The packets may not have a lot of seeds, but it’s definitely a good start for a low budget! I’ve personally bought cheap seed packets at Walmart--the Ferry-Morse and Burpee brands are not what we’re looking for here. Typically the cheaper ones I’ve found are American Seed (which is owned by Green Garden Products, which also owns Ferry-Morse, Livingston Seed, McKenzie Seed, and Seeds of Change. Do with that information what you will), but they’re rarely stocked near the Ferry-Morse ones in the Formal Gardening Section. I’ve most often found them on end caps near the gardening section, so you may have to weave through a few aisles to find them, but once you do there’s an array of flower and vegetable seeds to select from! Alternatively, I’ve found seeds at Dollar Tree sold 2 or 4 for a dollar in Spring as part of their seasonal product; however, when they’re out of stock, they’re typically out of stock for the year. Try to check them out early in the year!

Otherwise, other seed companies like Urban Farmer or Botanical Interests will often have semi-frequent sales in spring and fall, when people are stocking up on seeds--joining their email lists can help you be the first to know when a good sale is going on!

Some foods from grocery stores will provide seeds that you can use in the garden as well. I’ve had the most luck with store-bought bagged beans, peppers, and tomatoes. Some people have had luck with watermelons, apples, citrus, squash, and more. Do keep in mind that you likely won’t get the same variety of fruit/vegetable as the one you bought--the resulting plant may look different and taste different.

Give it a shot! Pick some beans you like--if they don't grow well, at least you can eat the rest!

If you live in the US, food-producing live plants, bare roots, and seeds can often be purchased with SNAP benefits. But what does growing fruits, veggies, and herbs have to do with boosting biodiversity? While food crops aren’t typically native, they still provide valuable shelter for native insects. Some plants even have intricate relationships with native fauna--like the squash bee, a solitary bee which exclusively pollinates cucurbits like pumpkins, squash, and zucchini. And we get to benefit more directly as well! If you’re planting a diverse range of foods in your garden (as opposed to the swaths of single-plant farms that typically produce what’s sent to grocery stores), you’re supporting high levels of biodiversity by providing a variety of plants for creatures to live and hunt around.

Most of the time, when we think of boosting biodiversity with a garden, we think of a colorful flower garden teeming with pollinator species. However, if we’re striving to use native species, it can be a bit difficult to find some species in stores. I can say from experience that trying to find any wildflower seeds other than butterfly weed, purple coneflowers, and black-eyed-susans is… challenging, if you limit yourself to stores like Walmart, Home Depot, and Lowe’s. You might occasionally get lucky with an ACE Hardware or a local nursery, but even then sometimes it can be hard to track down who in your area is selling what--let alone if you live in an area where no one really is selling native plants or their seeds. Not to mention, even once you find a local or online store selling the seeds you want, they can sometimes cost a pretty penny. So what do you do?

If you have the option to, consider gathering native seeds yourself! Get good at identifying the native flora and fauna--or at least, a few target plants and their lookalikes--and get ready to go! Learn where they tend to grow, when they’ll be seeding, etc. Try to identify the plant before it goes to seed (for most plants, it's easiest to identify when flowering), then check back regularly to gather seeds. Typically, if I want to learn how to collect seed from a specific plant, I just search it on Google or YouTube--oftentimes, I'm lead to the GrowItBuildIt Youtube page, so it may be a helpful resource for you as well! Of course, make sure to leave plenty of seed behind so the wild population can repopulate, and seed can feed other creatures in the area. A good rule of thumb is to take no more than 1/3rd of what's available.

Buying seed in bulk is an option if you can afford the upfront cost. Try teaming up with a few friends to buy some bulk seeds and split them amongst yourselves--you’ll get tons of seed! Prairie Moon is a popular site that'll sell seeds by the pound if you can afford the price--though they're in the US, and I believe they focus on Midwest and East Coast natives.

If you want to cheat the system, don’t buy bulk sunflower seeds--buy bags of sunflower seeds being sold as birdseed. They’re typically all black oil sunflower seeds, but they’ll sprout, and they’re fairly cheap for the amount you get!

However, beware generic wildflower seed mixes! Many brands like to sell wildflower seed mixes in big box stores like Home Depot, Target, or even Dollar Tree, but they’ll often include flowers that aren’t native or possibly even invasive in your region! Before you make any purchases, double check to make sure the contained seeds won’t do more harm than good! A quality source of native seeds will provide English and Latin names for all seeds included, and will be native to the region or at least non-invasive. 

See this? I don't trust this.

There’s a good handful of programs online that’ll send you free seeds if you’re planning to start a native habitat project! Poke around online and see what you can find; you might get lucky! The best time to start looking for these is fall and winter, I find--by early spring, many of them are either done or beginning to wind down... though some also start up in spring. Ultimately--just check regularly! You never know what you can find!

Other Ways to Get Plants

Don’t want to start from seed? That’s fair! You can try cuttings! Just be sure not to take too much of the plant while you do so. Make sure you’ve gotten a few leaf nodes on your cutting, and cut any flowers you may have gotten. Make sure to leave some blooms and foliage on the original plant for the creatures in the current habitat--you don’t want to destroy one habitat to make another in your garden. There’s tons of methods of rooting cuttings, many of which have different efficacy rates for different plants, but that’s a topic for another post.

If you find seedlings growing in a place where they won’t be able to sustain themselves long-term, or are in danger of being destroyed, consider relocating them! You may be able to gently dig up and transplant the seedling to your garden. Don’t do this if they’re in a place where they can easily survive--ideally, you’ll be taking plants from sidewalk cracks, heavily maintained public gardens, roadsides, etc. Do be careful while doing this--ensure your safety first!  

You’re totally allowed to join gardening communities like clubs, facebook groups, and more before you’ve even put a trowel to the dirt. These are great places to learn information and advice! Many gardeners are more than happy to help out a new gardener, and will eagerly provide seeds, cuttings, or even baby plants! Talk to some people about your gardening journey and what you’re hoping to do, and you just might find some kindred spirits--or at least get more people interested in the topic! 

Seed and plant giveaways and trades happen all the time in gardening clubs, as well as online! Just poke around and see what you can find! Some are explicitly trades, meaning you’re expected to send something in return, but once you get your feet on the ground with some plant knowledge you’ll be stellar! You may be able to explain you’re just starting out, and someone may send you seeds without expecting a trade, but I’d suggest trying giveaways first. 

Poke around online and see if there’s a local chapter of your state’s native plant society. From there, you’ll likely be able to find a calendar of events--many of them will host plant sales in the spring, with a bunch of native plant seedlings ripe for the pickings if you can make it out and have some money to spare! Fair warning, though, you’ll want to get there early if you can. If they say they’re starting at 10, try to get there by 9:45. Year after year, there’s always record turnout, and they sell out of plants faster than ever. Just trust me on this. I’ve been let down; hopefully you won’t have to be.

Some libraries are beginning to host seed libraries! Check around and see if your library has one! Ideally, the system works best if you also have seeds to contribute in return, but if you’re just starting out I’m sure they won’t mind you taking some seeds! Just consider saving some seeds to contribute in the future and pay it forward. If your library doesn’t have a seed library? Consider asking if they’d be willing to start one! Community interest is a great way to get the ball rolling on projects like these, but they’ll only know the community is interested if the community tells them they’re interested!

Volunteer to Garden for/with Someone Else

Maybe someone in your area wants to garden, but is struggling to find the time/energy. Many elderly people who used to garden simply can’t anymore but still would like a garden. Other people may love to have a helping hand in their garden. You might even find a few people in your area interested in renting and sharing a community garden plot with others, so they don't have to handle it all on their own! They may be interested in increasing biodiversity right now, or may be willing to if it’s brought up to them. You might be just the kind of person someone needs! Since it won't be your garden, you’ll likely need a bit of permission and collaboration to get anything in particular going, but it’s worth a shot and a way to maybe even make friends! 

Again, your mileage may vary with some of these. You may not know where there's a bunch of wildflowers growing in your area, or maybe your local library doesn't have a free seed library. That's okay! Do what you're able to, find what you can find, get what you can get! And there's never any shame with starting small--in fact, starting small can make the project easier to manage and expand when you're able!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to start growing plants cheaply--low cost seed starting set ups, essentially. There's a lot of good options, many of which I've used myself even! Until then, I hope this advice is helpful! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

[kaunis-sielu]

Fire Dogs

The fires had been blazing for weeks now, inching closer and closer to your home and firefighters were pouring in. You’d decided to stay, the fire was mostly moving away from town, thank god. The mayor had said that people who were willing to stay and help care for the hordes of firefighters pouring into town were appreciated. So even though you were a single Omega, you’d signed up. You could take in 2-6 firefighters depending on if they were willing to share a bed with one another and if you needed to sleep on the couch. You’d been assigned 3 men, all from New York City, one a Captain and all of them Alphas.

When you open the door as they walk up your sidewalk the first, a man with light hair and blue eyes, gives you a tight smile.

“Hi, welcome. I have a dog, is that okay?” The three men don’t even have to look at one another before all nodding yes. “Great, come on in.” You move out of the doorway and the three men come into the house.

“Thank you so much for opening your home to us.” The first man says, god he smells good, like sandalwood and lavender.

“It’s the least I could do.” You introduce yourself as your dog comes trotting into the room, Cooper’s tail wagging wildly. “But you can call me Fawn, and this is Cooper.”

“Sorry, I’m Steve Rogers, this is Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.” The first man says introducing himself and the two men with him.

“It’s a pleasure. I’ll show you guys to your rooms.” You lead them upstairs and show them each to a room. Bucky takes your first spare room, Sam the second and Steve is in the master.

“Buck, you’ve got third shift, Sam you’re on first and I’m on second.”

“Do we start today?” Bucky asks as you make your way downstairs, you were given a small packet for the guys, things you would need to know like allergies, presentation, emergency contacts and dietary restrictions. All three are simple, no dietary issues, no allergies, Alphas, Sam has his wife Carol as his emergency contact but Steve and Bucky, or James as he’s listed, both have Rebecca Barnes, Bucky’s sister.

You get started on dinner and Sam wanders down into the kitchen bringing his

“So, why didn’t you leave town?”

“Nowhere to go. And the fire is heading away from here so hopefully everything will stay away from town.”

“The smoke doesn’t bother you?”

“I mean it’s not great but as long as Coop and I are okay I plan on staying. I’ve got some stuff packed up in my car and ready to go but I just haven’t pulled the trigger yet.”

“That’s fair. We do really appreciate you doing this. Letting us stay here.” He’s got such a soothing presence about him that you forget he’s an Alpha until his scent washes over you.

“It’s the least I can do,” you tell him with a smile, “so what does first shift mean?”

“Oh, it’s the really early shift, like 4am. Steve will be out running a crew since he’s a Captain back home and he’s around 10am then Bucky is 4pm.”

“What will I need for you in the morning? Breakfast? Coffee? Energy bars?”

“Coffee would be great. I usually take it with milk.” You jot down coffee and milk on a sheet of paper.

“How do the other two take their coffee?”

“Barnes likes it black, like a psychopath and Steve likes it with cream and sugar so he can’t taste the coffee.” You laugh and jot down creamer.

“Any chance you know what kind of creamer he likes?”

“Caramel I think.”

“I can always ask him too. I’ll set the coffee to go off at 3:15 for you.”

“Thank you.” Sam says as he sits down at the island. “What are you making for dinner?”

“Spaghetti. I make the sauce from scratch, from the garden.”

“It smells great.”

“Thanks, should be about a half hour. I’ve got meatballs in the oven and will have some garlic bread and green beans from my garden too.”

“You’re going to spoil us huh?” He says with a grin and you laugh, hoping that your suppressants work like they’re supposed to and keep you presenting as a Beta.

“I don’t get to cook for others often so I’m being a little selfish. Let me know if you need anything from town or want me to get anything. I’ll go shopping for the week tomorrow.”

“Are they paying you to host us?”

“No, but I don’t mind getting you guys stuff.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, I wouldn’t offer if it was a problem.” You assure him and after studying you he nods.

“I’ll be sure to let the guys know.” You chat with Sam while you cook. You learn that his wife Carol is an Alpha and a doctor. The Alpha/Alpha pair is uncommon but if it works for them that’s wonderful. You also learn that he, Bucky and Steve served together and that Carol had outranked all three.

It seems that Steve has always been the one to lead their little trio, and when the smell of dinner lures him and Bucky down you include them in the conversation. Bucky, whose scent is oranges and cedar wood, is more chatty and flirty than Steve is but there’s this quiet strength about Steve that’s impossible not to notice.

Sam goes to bed immediately after dinner but Steve and Bucky stay up and watch the news with you. You set the coffee machine for Sam and leave him a note to help himself to anything he wants to eat. Then you bring Cooper outside, he wanders your wildfire lit backyard, the orange glow is spooky and the smell of smoke is thick in the air.

“Come on Coop, it’s bedtime.” You tell him leading him to the living room. Both Steve and Bucky are gone so you change into your pajamas and get ready for bed in the bathroom then head back to the couch where Cooper is laying dead center. “Move it Coop.” He grumbles but gets down, once you’re settled you let him back up on the couch between your feet.

You wake up as Sam closes the fridge.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says softly. When he turns and sees you sitting up on the couch.

“No it’s okay.” You tell him as Cooper hops off of the couch. You follow him to the back door and let him out.

“Why are you sleeping on the couch?”

“They needed three more beds so I gave them three more beds.”

“We put you out of your room?” He asks with a small frown.

“I sleep more on the couch anyway, I usually fall asleep to one baking show or another.” You tell him with a sleepy smile, you hadn’t meant to tell them they’d taken all your beds but it was too late now.

“This is your home.”

“Seriously Sam don’t worry about it.” You say letting Cooper back into the house. “Be safe.”

“Thanks.” He says and you go back to bed on the couch.

The next time you wake it’s 9:00 and you want to make sure that you’ve got something ready for Bucky and Steve for breakfast so you get up. You feed Cooper then let him out again, if there wasn’t the fire you’d let him stay outside as long as he wanted. You sit down on the couch and pull your tablet into your lap. Cooper joins you on the couch as you start to draw your characters.

“Morning.” Steve’s voice is low and soft when he greets you.

“Good morning. There are pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns and bacon in the oven. The pans will be warm.”

“Thanks,” you hear him help himself to food and coffee then he comes out into the living room. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all. Don’t let Coop fool you into any food though.”

“No people food for him?”

“Just some fruit and veggies.” You tell him glancing up at the fire captain. “So Sam said you guys were on a 4-10-4 start time but what time are you all home?”

“We’re doing 12 hour shifts, so Sam and Buck don’t overlap but I will with both.”

“Okay, I’ll have dinner ready when you get back. Is there anything that I don’t have that you need? Sam said you liked a certain flavor of creamer.”

“The French vanilla is fine.”

“He said caramel?” You glance over at him again and he has this little shy smile on his face. “I don’t mind, I need to go get groceries anyway.”

“Caramel is my favorite.” He admits and you nod then get back to your drawing. He finishes his breakfast in silence then puts his dishes into the dishwasher, Steve heads back upstairs and you hear him finish getting ready before he comes back down.

“Be safe.”

“Thanks.” He says before closing the door softly behind him.

Bucky sleeps until almost noon, you’ve taken breakfast out of the oven and put it in the fridge. He somehow looks groggy still and you’re worried he didn’t sleep well.

“Good morning.”

“Morning. How are you?” His voice is low and husky.

“Good. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yea I slept great. I could still be asleep to be honest but I might get called in early.”

“Why?”

“There are less guys at base camp right now. Apparently a group of them had some trouble on the way? I don’t know but Steve called.”

“Breakfast is in the fridge if you wanna heat it otherwise I have lunch meat and stuff for sandwiches.”

“I love breakfast food.” He says making his way to the fridge. He starts a cup of coffee then opens the fridge.

You find out that Bucky is a chatter. Which is fine but you’re glad that you’re illustrating today rather than writing because there’s no way you’d be able to focus on writing. He asks you about living in the small town, how you ended up here, about your job, when he finds out you’re an author and illustrator of children’s books he promises to buy his niece a couple books. You tell him to leave his address and you’ll send him a signed copy of the one you’re working on, he excitedly does.

When he leaves at 3:30, not being called in early, you take a break and start on dinner. You want to make sure you’ve got food ready for Sam when he gets back.

Sam comes in at 4:45, Cooper barks excitedly and Sam sinks to the ground and Cooper immediately calms allowing Sam to wrap his arms around him. You don’t say anything, just continue to cook while Sam hugs Cooper to him. You hear him talking softly but you ignore him, whatever he’s saying to Coop is none of your business.

“I’m gonna go take a shower before I eat.” Sam says at full volume, the side of his face still pressed to Cooper’s side.

“That’s fine,” you assure him, “I’ve got about twenty minutes before the rice is done.”

“Okay.” He disappears then Cooper comes wandering into the kitchen. You give him a couple of treats and tell him what a good boy he is.

Sam eats in silence then goes up to his room, you’re pretty sure he goes to bed by 7 but after the day he’s had you can’t blame him.

At 10 you start reheating food for when Steve comes in. Sure enough, 10:30 rolls in and so does Steve. Cooper greets Steve with a wagging tail, Steve gives him a little pat and heads upstairs. You hear the shower turn on and after around 10 minutes Steve is back dropping down on the couch as Cooper puts a head in his lap. Steve absently pets Cooper and you place a plate of food in front of him.

“Thank you.” His tired eyes meet yours and he gives you a little half smile.

“It’s the least I can do.” You tell him sincerely. Cooper stays with his head in Steve’s lap until Steve goes upstairs to bed. You set up your bed on the couch and set your alarm for 3:30 in the morning so you can get food heated for Bucky and coffee and food started for Sam.

You fall asleep still smelling Steve on your couch.

Tag list:

@memyselfandmaddox @thefanficfaerie @patzammit @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @killcomet @thesassmisstress @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @dumblani @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @giggleberts @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @connie326 @inkedaztec @eralen @valsworldofcreativity @strangersstranger

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the meet Ugly- 13 with Danbrey?

Here you go! I went SFW on this one

13: we make contact before trying to steal the last seat on the subway/bus/train and I end up in your lap and fuck you, I’m going to stay here because I’ve had a really long day and this seat was mine

The bus is not as fun as she remembers.

When Aubrey was a little kid, her mom would use the bus to take her to the museum or the movies or, on the best days, the magic store. Yes, the Little’s had a nice car, but her mom believed that not only was the bus better for the environment, it was a way to remember that there was nothing scary about being around people who come from all sorts of circumstances (Aubrey later learned this was due to her mom once being at a PTA meeting where hands were rung over children using public transportation being exposed to “unsavory” people).

“The world is full of all kinds of people, firebug. That’s not something to be scared of.”

She wipes her eye surreptitiously under the West Virginia sun. You’d think she’d have learned not to think about mom in public by now.

The bus line she’s using for her tour is inexplicably crowded; half these towns are on their way to being ghosts but somehow she’s always fighting for a seat. She doesn’t like her chances for this leg of the ride, since she got distracted reading about the history of Doc Martens and ended up towards the back of the line.

By some luck, there’s one seat left as she squeezes onto the bus, using her body to keep people from elbowing the fabric carrier containing Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD. But in the time she takes to turn to sit, someone else slips into the spot, so fast it’s almost inhuman.

“Um, excuse me, but this was my seat.” She turns to confront the thief and finds herself looking at a young woman about her age, with honey-blonde hair and hazel eyes which, were she not tired and grumpy, Aubrey would have lots of compliments for.

“No, it wasn’t. I got here first. You’ll just have to stand.”

“That’d be fine if it were just me.” The bus pulls away from the curb, “but it’s bad for Dr. Harris Bonkers to be suspended for too long.” She adjusts the bunny bag, hoping his big brown eyes and wiggly nose will make her case for her.

“Awww” the blonde coos, booping him through the mesh, “don’t worry little guy, you aren’t going too far. You’ll be fine if your person stands for a little bit.”

“It’s not a little bit, it’s twelve hour trip to my next stop!”

A smile full of understated charm and triumph, “It’s thirteen to mine.”

“Aw beans.”

“......are you going to get out of my lap at any point?”

“No” Aubrey turns her head to look out the window, “this is a good seat, even if there’s someone in it. I’m staying.”

It’s not her finest moment, to be sure. But she’s tired and heartsick so she is staying in this seat, damn it. The other woman grumbles something and slumps back against the black seat.

They hit the next stop, but not enough people get off, so she stays in her mystery lady’s lap. Her seat(mate) pulls a baggie of granola from the pocket of her definitely-not-cute-at-all overalls and crunches it louder than necessary by her ear.

“Uh, your rabbit is trying to get out.”

Aubrey glances down to see the mesh front straining as Dr. Harris Bonkers attempts to reach the granola.

“Don’t beg, young man, it’s rude.”

“Can he have a piece?” She holds up a dried strawberry.

“Um, sure.” Aubrey watches as she unzips the top of the carrier and let’s the rabbit nibble the treat from her hand. Aubrey’s a little jealous.

They don’t say anything to each other, but the rabbit gets two more treats before they reach the next stop. The person who’s spent the whole trip asleep in the window seat next to them jerks awake and hurries off the bus. Aubrey scoots into it before anyone can dare challenge her.

They’ve just turned onto the highway when she says, “Thanks. For, um, for sharing your granola.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And I’m, um, I’m sorry for sitting on you.”

“Yeah that wasn’t great, but if someone was going to sit on me I’m glad it’s the cutest passenger on the bus.” She points at Dr. Harris Bonkers, but keeps her eyes on Aubrey.

“We’re both kinda tired. We had a show late last night and we’re nervous for the one tomorrow.”

“Show?”

“I’m a magician and he’s my assistant. I’m known as the Lady Flame” she snaps and finger-guns, setting off a flashpaper, “but you can call me Aubrey.”

“Ma’am, no smoking on the bus!”

“Sorry!” She calls to the driver.

“I’m Dani” the blond boops Dr. Harris Bonkers again, “whose this guy?”

“Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD.”

“Nice to meet you, doctor.”

“Are, um, are you just traveling for fun?” She unzips the carrier enough for them both to pet him.

“Not really. I was running an, uh, an errand. I’ll be glad to get back to Kepler.” She fiddles with something in her pocket, “could I see more of your act?”

“I think that might get me thrown off the bus.”

“Don’t you have pictures?” Dani smiles.

“Oh duh, right, here, I even got someone to take some videos.” She scooches closer, Dani closing the remaining distance to rest their shoulders together. As they move through the videos, Dani is noticeably excited, even claps a few times. When Aubrey’s battery dies, they say “fuck” in sync.

“...want to play ‘I Spy?”

“Hell yeah.”

The next three hours pass in a flash, the two of them laughing and trading stories, all the while both cuddling closer to the window (to better play the game, of course).

They reach a travel hub, the driver informing everyone that they’ll leave in an hour on the dot. The two of them select a Dennys, since in Aubrey’s experience they tend to ignore her bringing in an eighteen pound rabbit.

She charges her phone while they eat, Dani getting corned beef hash, (“not as good as the one my friend makes back home”) while Aubrey has pancakes. She gets a little syrup on her cheek and nearly asks Dani to clean it off for her. With her tongue.

It’s dark when they get back to their seats, but the driver keeps the A.C cranked to the point that Aubrey is shivering. Dani pulls a shawl from her backpack, draping it around them both like a blanket as the trees become nothing more than vague shapes in the dark.

They talk about Aubrey’s tattoos, about the garden Dani has back home (“lots of veggies, you’d like that, wouldn’t you buddy?”). Last night starts catching up with Aubrey, yawns threatening to steal her attention from the way the light catches in Dani’s hair.

“Wanna see more videos?” That’s low energy flirtation, right?

“Of course.”

As she opens the videos, she hits an older album and an image of her and her mom fills the screen. She freezes, like the highbeams of the past are barrelling towards her and all she can do is watch.

“Aubrey?” Dani touches her cheek.

“Um, sorry.” She shoves the phone in the pocket of her jacket, “I, my, my mom died a little while ago. That was her. Um. I guess that was obvious. Sorry.”

Dani’s fingers find hers, interlacing them gently, “I’m so sorry, Aubrey. I...I get it. My family is, well I made some choices that mean I’ll never get to see them again. I, the reason I went on this trip was because I heard one of my brothers might have, uh, done the same thing. He hadn’t.” She sighs, “I don’t even know if they’re all still alive.”

“That sucks. This all. Fucking. Sucks.”

Dani nods, rests their heads together, “You know what doesn’t suck? Meeting you.”

“Pfffft” Aubrey smiles through her tears, hoping the joking noise will hide her blush.

Dani cups her cheeks, “I’m serious. Getting to know you feels like, like rounding a corner and seeing your house after years away. I, this is going to sound silly but please tell me you’re stopping in Kepler for a show?”

“I’m not but I, um, I guess I could still stop off there? If you really wanted me to.” Something about Dani’s smile, the warmth in her eyes, soothes her grief to sleep for now.

“I do, fireblossom, so much.”

Aubrey blushes, “Think you might be my first fan; no one else ever requests a show.”

Dani kisses her cheek, “I might even request one in private.”

“I could get into that” she yawns, “damn it, I don’t wanna sleep. I wanna keep flirting with you, cutie pie.”

Dani shifts their luggage, scoots sideways and guides Aubrey’s head down into her lap, “Get some rest, Aubrey. Just being able to look at you is enough for me.”

“Awww” Aubrey nestles against her stomach, “you’re so cute...just a...cutie...pie...zzz”

The last thing she feels is a kiss on the forehead and Dani tucking the shawl around her.

-----------------------------------------------

Aubrey does not want to get off this bus; Dani is cuddled up next to her, telling her about what kind of flowers she’d grow her, when he stops come up.

“Whelp….this is me.”

Dani helps her off the bus, passing her the carrier containing a sleeping Dr. Harris Bonkers. Then she smirks, “is your balance pretty good.”

“Yeah? Wh-mmphhoh” She holds tight as Dani nearly knocks her off her feet in a kiss. She tastes like the strawberry poptart they split for breakfast and is not making it any easier to say goodbye.

“Promise you’ll come see me in Kepler?’ Dani murmurs against her lips.

“Promise.”

A kiss on the nose, then a longer one on the mouth that makes Aubrey feel like she’s going to go up flashpaper. Then Dani is gone, off towards Kepler. A town Aubrey has no knowledge of and no idea how to navigate. And she didn’t get Dani’s last name.

“Fuck.” She says to the rabbit.

The rabbit simply snuffles in reply.

-------------------------------------

A few hours after her most catastrophic show to date and getting a gun pointed at her, Aubrey walks into Amnesty Lodge and finds a certain face, haloed with golden hair, waiting for her by the fireplace.

[walkman-system]

🔮 🎁🖋

🔮- does anyone wanna share something about their source(s)? Feel free to ramble !! And anyone that wants to can answer ! Even if it’s like 20 ppl ! Go on, have fun :))

Oh hell yeah! I remember fighting in the lmanburg war you know? It was fuckin scary sometimes but I loved fighting for the country that I helped build. Honestly I was so happy to have that victory

Oh and I carved me tubbos and ranboos names into the bench at one point, that poor thing has broken several times but I will have you know that I am now pretty handy at fixing benches lmao

I also used to have a garden and I loved growing things around my house so much! Kace started buying plants for me to take care of and it’s honestly really nice! I want to actually start a proper garden and grow my own veggies and shit but sadly we live in an apartment so that’s not really an option rn

You know I also learned how to sew cause I kept on tearing up my clothes all the time, I see people making headcanons about that and then being all like “you are making him soft” and yeah!! I like soft shit ok!! It’s really nice!! I like to sew little patches with fun designs for when my friends get hole in their clothes it’s fun!

Ok I think I’ve rambled enough lmao

- tommy

I don’t remember too much, I miss enderchest though lol

Also my family, not just Michael and Tubbo, but Techno too. They never made me feel bad about my memory problems and would repeat things if I needed it

Working with Techno was great too! I miss being able to ask him about almost anything and he would just know. I know he hurt some people in the past but he really was a good person deep down and he was working to apologize for his actions

One thing I don’t miss is my water allergy, I’m still not very fond of water out of habit but it’s really nice to be able to walk through rain or snow and not get burns

- ranboo

I liked building a lot, wish I could do more, I sorta just channel that through us playing Minecraft now

Also I miss my mob head collecting lmao, I worked hard for that shit and now I can’t have it

I remember flying a lot, through caves and the nether mostly. I think kace would hate the nether with how warm they tend to be naturally, but in the overworld? I wish I could fly them above the clouds so they could get a peek, especially at night

God the sky was beautiful, there’s so much light pollution in this world you can’t see anything, but at home? You can see everything, the vast universe and all that it has to offer. It really is infinite

- Phil

🎁- what would everyone’s dnd alignments be? (Ex; chaotic good, lawful evil; etc)

Kace - neutral good

Tommy - chaotic good

Theseus- lawful evil

Phil- chaotic good

Ranboo- lawful good

Lizzy- neutral good

Elizabeth- lawful good

SB- true neutral

✒️- favorite thing of yours that someone from your system has drawn? Can also be drawn by yourself !

As mentioned before I love this one kace drew, honestly poggers -tommy

This one of tommy, I don’t know who drew it but this was before we even knew we were a system! - ranboo

(This one took forever sorry!)

[howtohero]

#249 The Death of Your Nemesis

(Note: This is Part Two of a three part story. Part One. Part Three.)

Uh. Ok, so your nemesis has died. The person you’ve gone head to head with for years and years. The enemy of yours who, without fail, always strives to make things as personal as possible, is gone... Good! You’ll be better off, and the world will be better off with them. You can finally dedicate your time to dealing with more systemic ills in your neighborhood. No longer will you have to alienate everyone you love because there’s always the slim chance that on any given day your nemesis could discover who you are and take vengeance on your friends and family. When your nemesis dies, that’s a reason to party. You’re free of them! Forever! Huzzah! You may not have been able to kill them due to some complicated moral code that only allows you to kill their henchmen, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate their demise!

(Oooooook buddy, why don’t sit this one out. You’re going through a lot right now.)

I’m fine! Why shouldn’t I be fine! My nemesis, Dr. Brainwave, a convicted supervillain who was living, rent-free, in my basement, is dead. I’m free of him. I’m doing great!

(All right, totally. We can all see that you’re handling this with dignity and poise. Why don’t you let me deal with this one.)

Well I suppose I have been training you as my apprentice so that you could one day write blog posts on your own...

(Sure, that’s what our relationship is. So why don’t you go outside, take a breather, and let me handle today’s entry.

What the man says is true. Dr. Brainwave is dead and I guess, technically speaking, he was our nemesis. He’s threatened our lives more times than we count. {We are notoriously bad counters though.} He’s destroyed our home, our place of work, our garden filled with one-of-a-kind miracle veggies. {Immortality radishes, vampiric celery, tasty kale.} And yet, he’s always been there, and I think we kind of just assumed he always would be. You see, a nemesis is not just another supervillain that you’ve got to fight with alarming frequency. They’re a major part of your life. Oftentimes your nemesis will know you better than anybody else in your social circle. Sure, they only took the time to get to know you on this deep level so that they could inflict all manner of psychological torture upon you, but still, it’s kind of nice that they invested that time in you.

A superhero’s relationship with their nemesis is always going to be complicated. You’ll usually see them more than you see your family. You’ll see them at their highest {when they believe that they’ve killed you} and at their lowest {surprisingly enough, after they’ve succeeded in killing you and find their life to be devoid of all meaning and purpose} you’ll occasionally find yourself fighting alongside them and yeah, in some twisted way, you’re going to form a kind of meaningful relationship with them. So what are you even supposed to do when they’ve died? Granted, you’re not as fanatically dependent on them for your continued existence and purpose as they are on you. There will always be crimes to stop and evil to vanquish. But any superhero would be hard-pressed to deny that their lives would be a little bit emptier without their nemesis. Perhaps that’s the real reason why so few superheroes actually kill their nemeses.

If you feel like you need to mourn the passing of your nemesis, that’s ok. You should allow yourself to space to do that. Do something that they would’ve loved. Hold a {vacant} bridge hostage, kick a {robot, stuffed, already dead} puppy into the sun, burn yourself in effigy! If you’re worried about getting attacked by other supervillains if you attend a funeral or memorial service for your nemesis don’t worry! Supervillains usually are not friends with one another. That funeral is gonna be hella empty. You can go there with no problem. Besides, supervillain funerals have been poorly attended ever since Lady Richter used her “funeral” as an opportunity to drop many of her fellow supervillains into a bottomless chasm. Ever since then, supervillains have had a hard time believing that any of their colleagues are actually dead. If any other supervillains attend your nemesis’ funeral, they’ll be lugging around giant ladders in case a bottomless chasm opens up beneath them, and they will be too exhausted to fight you.

The whole How To Hero crew {me, Parentheses Guy, Zach, Lawyer Guy, Dr. Brainwave’s Greatest Shame, Diego A. Wayghosts, Todd The Bomb-Disposal Bot} attended Dr. Brainwave’s funeral and, lo and behold, the only other person in attendance was Dr. Brainwave’s other nemesis, Professor Brain-Scrambler. {There was also, of course, a large contingent of mutant alligators.} He actually spoke quiet beautifully about his mad scientist colleague, after which we pulled him over to the side and told him that he was a hack and that he could suck it, in line with Dr. Brainwave’s final wishes. All in all it was a very emotional 2 am-4 am. {Supervillain funerals almost exclusively take place during this time which is colloquially known as “the witching hour.”} The funeral home was a bit cold, and I would say it was definitely haunted, but overall, it was a pretty solid funeral I’d say. 

Once you’ve spent some mourning the loss of an important and ever-present figure in your life, there is some housekeeping that you need to do. Reach out to your nemesis’ loved ones and express your condolences. The last thing you want is for their loved ones to vow revenge on you and beginning the cycle anew. If you can, talk with their loved ones, estranged family members, sidekicks, or unholy creations and make them understand that you were not responsible for the death of their loved ones. The quicker you do this the better. Blaming a superhero for the death of a loved one is 17th most common supervillain origin story. {number 68 is having your coal company run out of business by windmill farms but number 33 will blow your mind.} In our case, we sat down with Dr. Brainwave’s legions of mutant alligators and several hours of teeth baring and jaw snapping, a fragile peace agreement was forged. {The alligators for their part, behaved remarkably well. Not a single bared tooth or snapped jaw among them!}

Once that is taken care of you must attend to the rest of your nemesis’ personal affects. Their goons will be directionless, and this is a great time to many of them off the board. Have your friends in law enforcement scoop them up before they can find employment under a different supervillain. Or, if you really wanna get wild, invent a new identity for yourself, pose as a new supervillain, take control of your nemesis’ cronies, and then have them perform tasks that seem like crimes, but actually good deeds. Stuff like, “this old woman is an ancient evil spirt, help her cross the street” or “this is my territory now, nobody else is allowed to commit a crime here. If you see another villain doing crimes here, stop them!” Arrange operations against your nemesis’ lairs and begin systemically dismantling their operation. Since they were your nemesis you have the unique advantage of knowing where they’re likely to have kept most of their really cool stuff. And remember, in the souvenir game, it is first come, first serve. So lead the operation against their main fortress or stronghold yourself and claim all of those spleen-discombobulators and parasite helmets for yourself! For us, that just meant going into our own basement and, honestly, reclaiming a lot of stuff we thought we’d lost! We also blew up all of Dr. Brainwave’s stuff, as per his last will and testament. [Hi, again, a hastily scrawled note scratched into a chalkboard that says “destroy all of my Earthly things in the same manner in which I died” is not a will.] Well, we did it! And it was awesome! We didn’t even need to buy any explosives, it’s astounding how much of his stuff was already made out of bombs! {You know what? It’s actually pretty alarming how many explosives there were just under our house this entire time.})

Wait, how many bombs were there?

(I thought I told you to take the day off because you were being weird!)

You’re being weird! How many bombs did you find in Dr. Brainwave’s room?

(I don’t know, probably around 660. What do you think Curly?)

{I’d say around 664, maybe 665.}

Oh you have got to be kidding me.

(See, you’re being weird again. Buhbye! Now, any real superhero can’t exactly be without a nemesis. People will start to talk. “Oh yeah, that guy? He’s not really very superheroic, he doesn’t even have one evil person whose sole purpose in life is to destroy them. Poor guy.” So you need to find a new nemesis! {We recommend reading our advice for finding your first nemesis.} Try calling up all of your old enemies and see if they’d be interested in engaging in an eternal struggle between good and evil with you. Or, just go through the supervillain phonebook and pick a name that kind of seems like an inverse of your own name. {Or, if it’s still too soon for you to even think about replacing your dear departed nemesis, just prank call about of villains until you’re all cheered up.} Without Dr. Brainwave gone, we’ve obviously needed to start looking for a new supervillain correspondent... and, well... I guess just take a look at some of the auditions we’ve received.

Al “Da Boss” Marconi: “Ayyyy, da best way to save da world is to stab a twerp right between the eyes and laugh as he bleeds out on the pavement!” {Factually incorrect.}

Dr. Python: “So this job comes with a free room right? My last roommate turned out to be Ultiman so obviously that wasn’t going to work out and I kind of very badly need a new place to live.” {Seems to believe that living with Ultiman is a bad idea because he is a superhero but living with us is fine. Which leads us to believe he either doesn’t really get who we are, or does not respect us.}

Giorgio the Evil Mime: “...” {This guy was Zach’s top choice, but he is clearly grieving and not in his right mind. He seems to have forgotten that our supervillain correspondent needs to be able to speak and make intrusive comments on our blog posts.}

As you can see, we have been having some trouble, but luckily we’ve got interviews with Jhonny McBarn-Burner, Mustard Man and the dreaded Karalaxus who is actually a very pleasant guy once you agree to give up your free will and join his horde of mindless zombies. So hopefully one of those guys pans out.)

Stop everything! We don’t need a new supervillain correspondent. (Dude, for real, you need to take a break. You’re going a bit cuckoo you know?) No, I’m serious, and your face is a bit cuckoo actually so how about you step the heck off.  (Rude.) We don’t need to replace Brainwave, because I don’t think he’s actually gone {What are you saying! Wait, did we actually all die in the explosion? Was he the only to survive? Is he mourning us? Which of us did he mourn the most? Me?} No, I believe that he’s dead. But I also believe that he died on purpose. (Well sure, we all saw him unrepentant supervillainously sacrifice himself so that we could live!) I don’t think he sacrificed himself at all actually. I think he planned on dying, and that he planned on benefitting from it in a way that none of us could have foreseen.  (Ok, you’re gonna have to walk us through that.) Ok, so remember when we went through Brainwave’s stuff, we found a grand total of 665 bombs right?  (I guess?) {We are notoriously bad at counting.} True, but I think we got it right this time. I think that there were only 665 explosive devices in Brainwave’s lair/our basement. [Only?] Yes only! What kind of fanatical supervillain builds so many explosives but stops before hitting 666! The devil’s number! I think he did have 666 bombs, until he mailed one to our office! (Wait, what? You think Brainwave sent us that bomb? That seems like a stretch.) Oh? Does it? The most evil person that we are acquainted with sent us a bomb? That seem awfully farfetched to you? (Well, when you put it like that...) And he was wearing rocket boots the whole time! We could’ve strapped the bomb to one of his rockets and launched it through the skylight without him having to carry it! {That reminds me, our landlord called and said that we definitely lost our security deposit because of that skylight.} (Ah DANG IT!!!!) I think that he waited until the timer was low to reveal that he was wearing rocket boots so he could make his sacrifice play. And hey, he knew that the time on the bomb was displaying the wrong time and yet he knew exactly when the bomb was actually going to go off. That isn’t suspicious to any of you??? (Look, if I made a big deal about everything I found suspicious our coworkers we’d never get anything done!) {Is this about my outstanding deal with the devil?} (No, actually.) And Parenthesis Guy, you even said that the funeral home seemed haunted during the funeral! What if that was Dr. Brainwave! What if he devised this whole scenario so he could die and become a ghost!  (Why would he do that? And doesn’t this all seem a little convoluted.) Yeah, dude, he’s a supervillain! Something the rest of you seemed to have lost sight of. Of course he would come up with an absurdly complicated plan to become a ghost. From a supervillain’s perspective, being a ghost would be way better than being a frail old human with the physique of a scientist.  (I don’t know man, I’m just not seeing it.) What! It makes total sense. He freaks us out with a bomb. Classic supervillain move. He puts us on an emotional rollercoaster by making us think he sacrificed himself to save us, causing us to question everything we thought we knew about the sort of person he was. All while shedding his physical form in order to commit crimes as a ghost. It’s a classic Brainwave move!  (I think maybe you should lie down buddy. You’re starting to go a bit crazy. And not in a fun way like the rest of us.) {Yeah when you make us look like the sane ones you’ve gotta throw in the towel man.} Yeah. Yeah ok, maybe you’re right. (Yeah, maybe we’re right. Let’s call it day, we’ve still gotta go feed the mutant alligators.) You guys go ahead I’ll catch up. {Ok, remember to put on your armor before you enter the alligator pen this time.} Yeah, yeah I’ll remember. All right Brainwave, the others are gone. I know you’re here.

<Uch fine. You got me.> You absolute bas- <Listen, you’re right. I’m every name you’re about to call me. But can we do this later? Right now, I need your help.>

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #170

this one’s a few days old and am just getting to posting it. don’t feel like rereading to change some old answers tho.

Do you tell your best friend everything? What might you omit? If she asked about a subject, I'd tell her. I wouldn't just be like "hey here's a little factoid I don't like talking about." Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yes. In your current or most recent romantic relationship, do/did you feel as though one of you settled? Not at all. What did your ex (or one of your exes) consider to be a dealbreaker in you? My depression. What seemingly small change have you made to improve your life this year? More drive to be an adult. Make the decision to try as hard as mentally possible to be more open about myself and not so scared of being found as "too weird." Does anyone in your family suffer from mental illness or substance abuse? Don't get me started on the first. I only know of my dad being a recovered alcoholic. What is the biggest gap in your employment history? How did/will you explain it to future employers? 0-19ish. Wasn't in the mental state to. Is there any part of your sexual/romantic history that you have not told your current significant other about or that you will not tell future partners about? She knows a lot. There's just one thing I'm not comfortable talking about yet. There's nothing I absolutely won't tell at any point - if you're in a serious relationship, they have the right to know. Has anyone ever tried to change your mind about something very personal, such as religion or wanting children? Children, yes. Colleen especially was convinced I was going to change my mind to an annoying degree. People have pushed me being a vet a whole lot, too. Do you ever hear about old school friends? Where are you high school friends now? Well, through FB. Most have stable jobs, some are extremely intelligent students headed towards amazing careers, some are parents. Most fell off the face of the earth. What is the most fun you can remember ever having under the influence? Cards Against Humanity. Has your Facebook relationship status ever been set to 'it’s complicated’? Why? Nooooo, and I seriously wish that option didn't even exist. Drama bait, whether intentional or not. What is the most beautiful/interesting name that you’ve ever personally known someone to have? Alon. Have you ever developed feelings for someone whose sexual orientation was incompatible with yours? Yes. How many relationships have you been in that actually got sexual? One. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost? Me?????????????? At a party?????????????????????? What is your strongest sense? Maybe you don't count this because it's not a "real" sense, but I would say I have an incredibly strong "sixth sense" of just knowing when something is wrong, even with people I don't know well. I pick up bad emotions easily. But if you're just talking sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell, I suppose smell? Or taste. Could be why I'm so picky. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child? There is NO telling. I believed some wild shit. HAHAHA OH MY GOD WAIT NO I BELIEVED I HAD "ANIMAL POWERS" UNTIL THE END OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Like, I could go into a "mode" where I had capabilities like those in certain animals, like with kangaroo powers, I could jump higher. God that was so embarrassing to write jfc what the fuck was I on. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? Mom. She gives food, water, and sometimes money to homeless people she trusts as actually being without a home. There are two or three people she's actually "friends" with. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on? A V O I D What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will? I make situations awkward. Just social anxiety in general. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone? Okay, so I don't think I believe in angels, and I'm 99% sure this was a dream by now. But once as a little kid, I have a *very* strong memory of getting out of bed and going outside because I felt I needed to see something, and two swans came to the porch, turning into my grampa and favorite cat that had died. Then I went back inside, and that's all I remember. Still to this day that shit didn't feel like a dream, but. It probably was. What do you think about more than anything else? The future. What’s your all-time favorite town or city? Why? I dunno. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? The friendship with Megan. Do you Skype? With Sara. Have you ever called anyone ‘bro’ other than your actual brother? I'll call p much anyone that. Have you ever blocked someone on MySpace before? Maybe? What is the best kind of pizza in your opinion? Pan meat lovers omfg. Stick with jalapeno tho with trying to at least lean towards vegetarianism. Is there something that someone has done to you that you cannot forgive? Eh... I think I've forgiven him. Do you scream at scary parts in a horror flick? No. What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. How do you feel about weed? I'm totally for it medicinally. Helps with too many things. Otherwise, for reasons I've said in many old surveys, I don't believe it should be smoked. We already complain enough about cigarettes and lung cancer. How many people have you kissed that you weren’t dating? None. Who was the last person that ditched you? How did you react? Mini, I guess. Was hurt as fuck for years until I recently confronted her, and we're cool now. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt is like... my only male friend besides Dad. What size are the pants you’re wearing? Large, probably? Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I went neither way. Liked some songs, didn't like some, no opinion on others. Can you spot constellations in the night sky? Only the Big or Little Dipper. I dunno the difference. What kind of shampoo did you last use? I dunno exactly. Mom just put some in a smaller, nameless bottle for while I'm at Sara's. It's probably Suave, though. If you had a hippie bus, what would it look like? Gimme all the peace signs and trippy patterns. Have you ever hitchhiked? No. Would you rather hike a mountain or explore a cave? EXPLORE A CAVE BITCH Would you rather wear a flower crown or veil? For my wedding, probably a veil. I can't see a flower crown going with a (probably) black dress lmao. Do you go barefoot often? I'm always barefoot in the house, but outside, I always have shoes. What is your favorite thing to get high off of? N/A What type of tattoo do you want? Most of the ones I want hold personal meaning. There's few I want to get for solely aesthetic purposes. What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Favorite constellation? *shrug* Beach wedding, forest wedding, or English countryside wedding? Forest! Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Do you have any big plans for November? No. What upcoming event are you most looking forward to? Christmas. I doubt Halloween's gonna be anything I'd like it to be. What was the last song you heard? "Letter" by Mother Mother is on. Compared to someone else of your age and gender; do you feel that you have a lot to offer someone? HAHAHAHA NO. How many days a week do you work? N/A Is there ONE person you feel more connected to than others? Sara and Mom. Where did your eye color come from? Mom's dad had blue eyes, I think. Have you ever been in a recording studio? No. What is your worst relationship quality? I'm paranoid. I'm that "do you still like me?" person after marriage, I'm sure. What was your most recent serious injury? Does sun poisoning from Hell itself count? When was the last time you baked something for someone? Never lmao. Would you rather be kissed on the neck or on the lips? I mean it depends on the mood. What is one thing you’re not looking forward to in the next week? I'm going home Wednesday. Would you consider Christmas your favorite holiday? Second-fave. How many chances do you normally give someone before giving up on them? Way too fucking many. But it also depends on the offense and person. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yeah. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? Totally for. Would you say you’re more of a pessimist or optimist? I'm definitely a realist, but if I had to pick, I lean more towards pessimism. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? No. When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? Not really. Would you say you’re a friendly person or not so much? I think I'm very friendly, just shy and awkward socially. When was the last time you ate something from Burger King? LEMME TELL YOU THIS SHIT. Months ago, I went for a veggie burger. THESE. IDIOTS. Put all the normal shit BUT NO PATTY IN A FUCKING BUN. WHEN THEY HAVE ACTUAL VEGGIE PATTIES. We waited forever, so Mom was already in a bad mood. She went in and the manager was livid; she gave us a free drink and fries. BUT, the burger fucking sucked, it was so overcooked. Sooo that was fun. When someone mentions a song, does it make you wanna listen to it? Rarely if it's a song I don't know, unless I like the artist. Song title may interest me, too. Who is the nosiest person you know? Do you like them anyways? BITCH ME. Are you one of those people who like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Okay so, I first watched it in school and I didn't like it at all. Then I started loving it??? I have like sooo much Jack stuff. What’s the best food to have at a sleepover? Pizza! Do you like the yellow Cheetos better or the orange ones? You mean normal or hot? Gimme them spicy boiz. Do you know anybody with different colored eyes? No. Are any of your relatives vets? Don't believe so. Who cleans the most in your house? Mom. I really need to do it more. Do you own any shirts that cost over 100$? Jfc no. What about any shoes? Do you think that’s a lot of money for clothes? No, and obviously. What’s the movie theater in your town called? Uhhh I think Cinemax? How many minutes do you consider late? Over five. What kinds of food do you dunk into milk? Some cookies. Do you have any current or past teachers on your Facebook friends? No. Are there any baby pictures of you up? On FB? No. Do you have any friends who have bleached blonde hair? Maybe Alon still does, idk. Are you wearing any jewelry that a boyfriend/girlfriend gave you? No. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? Yeah. What’s the last thing you were excited to eat? A donut sobs. Who's the most romantic person you ever went out with? I dunno... none were/are like especially romantic. Is there anything hanging from the ceiling in your room? Some Pyramid Head gift tags, a stuffed fae dragon from WoW, and a cool lantern. Have you ever seen the last person you hugged dressed up fancy? Not in person, but in pictures. (If your parents married), Do you know where they got engaged? No. What was the last picture you printed of? The reference I made of my tattoo for the artist. What restaurant has the best fries? Bojangle's the Queen. What does your mailbox look like? Just a basic black one. Have you ever gotten something stuck on the roof? Probs as a kid. Does your computer make a lot of noise? Not really. Unless it's overheating. Who did you last drink or smoke up with? Mom and Sara. How many board games do you own? Idk, there's just a few in a cabinet in the living room. What does your BIGGEST mug look like? We don't have any really big ones. Newest musical discovery? I really love Powerwolf. Last thing you cleaned? Clothes. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? Purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, iPod, wallet, hand sanitizer, keys... Where is your newest scar? There's still a little scab on the bottom of my tat from heavy shading, but it's almost healed. If you mean like, "real" scar, cat scratch on my right hand. Where is your oldest scar? Ummm probably this random one on the top of my right wrist. No clue where it came from, been there for years. Last thing you disposed of? A bottle, I think? Are you good at recovering from injuries? I dunno. How many different public restrooms have you used this week? I think just one, at the reptile convention. Do you have more piercings or tattoos? Currently tied at six, but piercings the day I get home and get my tongue redone. What color and type is your vehicle? N/A Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? N/A What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Meerkats. What do you use to wash your dishes? Ugh, hands, gross. I refuse to have my own home that doesn't have a dishwasher. Last thing you measured? Ummm probably water when I was making ramen. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Ma, yes. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Sara although I don't see how, I needed a shower. @_@ Last person you told that they smell good? Sara. How many iPhones have you had? One, I think? Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Good question. Last compliment you received on your appearance? Uhhh idk. On your character/personality? Sara's mom pointed out this morning that she liked how I watch out for Sara and reminded her to call the library (applied there) and it made me so happy alkdjowie. Her approval is important to me. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? No. Woulda liked to, but. How many chargers do you have for your current cell phone? One, though Mom's fits mine, too. Do you have a good work/life balance? N/A Have you ever ordered pizza online? Yeah. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Yeah. What color was the last fish you had? I couldn't tell you. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. Have you ever read in the bathtub? I may've as a kid? Does your animal sleep with you? Roman, pretty much always. Rarely Teddy, but hhe doesn't like getting off the bed; I put him on it if he wants, so getting down's the only thing. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? I think I have, but I don't recall for what? How many favorites do you have on YouTube? Holy shit idk. I used to favorite almost anything I liked, though for like a year or so now I've been really picky with what I favorite because it's become a playlist I go to that I know will cheer me up or are just videos I find very important. What kind was the last chip you ate? Uhhhh Lays, p sure. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rockband? I physically cannot play "Hotel California" by the Eagles without moving in some sort of way or singing.  The fucking solo ahhhhhhhhhh goosebumps every time.

[luvdsc]

yeah, im not even that scared during the pandemic, but much more worried about my grandparents :( and, oh, i feel like petting animals would be my favourite thing to do, but picking fruit sounds so cool too!! and thats sooo cool that youve got so many fruit trees and a veggie garden,, i bet they taste better than any store bought fruit or veggie? it sucks that you cant get to experience your last college days properly!! but at least you had all of the years before! im also super excited (1/4)

about going to college!! and, oh my god, hong kong is absolutely beautiful!! it was really different because there were a ton of skyscrapers and it was all just so busy, but the nice kind of busy? you definitely should go there if you get the chance to! and, hm, i dont think i wanna go any other places in vietnam because pretty much all of my family lives in saigon and since we only visit every couple years i wanna spend my time with my family only really? what about you tho? and yeah (2/4)

no im not a native speaker, but i feel like netflix helped the most to further my english skills? and its so cool that you can go on a global rotation!! youre gonna have soo much fun!! yes!! jake is definitely husband goals!! do you like john mulaney? because he and jake and ned from the try guys are just husband goals!! all three love their wives sooo much, its insane haha and yes, rosa is way too cool haha oh, i watched 'free' too!! animes in general are always so pretty? its mindblowing (3/4)

and, yeah, i feel like the side stories made the heir better? because it wasn't just this 'who will she choose' anymore afadfsa i did find the second male lead (forgot his name asfds) better than tan,, idk something about him was cute? idk and yes, hyoshin and rachel were soo cute,, i remember being surprised but it worked out well! aadfa im way too lazy to repaint it haha and im definitely keeping the base colour tip in my mind the next time i paint!! (4/4)

✿ ✿ ✿

oh, definitely, especially since more people within that age range are susceptible to it ): i really hope they’re staying safe! ah yes, it’s really a lot of fun meeting all the animals 💕 and yeah, they do!!! the fruit tastes so much fresher and crisper in a way? and it makes me happy because some of those trees were from seeds i dried and planted when i was younger! ah yeah, i’m definitely grateful for the memories i got to make in the past years, but it just sucks that there isn’t a grad ceremony too ): all those years of hard work, and that day is the big day, y’know?

oooo hong kong sounds amazing and so beautiful!!! it kinda reminds me of those sorts of futuristics cities you see in pixar movies :’) i definitely want to visit some day! ah, that’s true! it’s nice to make the most of your time with you family 💗 i wanna visit other places in vietnam!! there’s the bridges with the two hands near da nang, and we didn’t have enough time to see it unfortunately ): i want to go to hue since we didn’t stop by there either and also visit the other villages my grandparents used to live in since they moved a lot :)

omg that’s so cool! yeah, i’ve heard one of the best ways to learn a language is by watching a show in that language because you get exposed to less formal conversation and how people actually talk. and thank you!!! I’m very excited to start my job :’) oooh i haven’t actually watched anything of john mulaney, but i see a lot of wholesome memes about him! also YES i love the try guys, and those three are the holy trinity of best husbands. and yes!!! anime art in general is absolutely breath taking 💘

and yeah, i agree!!! i often find myself more invested in the side stories than the main ones when i watch a kdrama. also SAME i liked youngdo better too lmao and yeah, also same! they were an interesting dynamic, so i really like how they came together in the end :’) i really like the actress who plays rachel, and that was why i watched fight for my way because she’s the main in it (and also the plot was good! it was really relatable) and omg i hope you have fun painting when you do!!! 💓 ah this reminds me, i gotta start on my own paintings for class soon yikes 

[poeticandvaguelysweet]

Prompt #168 - Of Scares, Lessons and Love

ANON: Please write Owen singing to Baby Grady inspired from this post (because it’s hella long)

This is a 4k fic people. I cannot. What the hell. Still struggling with Uni shiz - got my board proposal on Thursday (eeek) but should be free after that for a WHOLE MONTH to submit to your mercy. Think up some prompts, some HCs, idk come chat to me anything clawen I wanna be lapping it up and sharing it around (also hopefully getting to 200 prompts before the beginning of August!!)

This title is lame but eh

AO3 - Charlie and Elliot Index

OF SCARES, LESSONS AND LOVE

The garage was Owen’s space. His dignified man cave fit with everything he needed to last him a whole weekend of boredom. It had been his intention, music on the stereo, tools in his hands. Claire had no plans for them, only quietly mentioned something about taking a lazy weekend for themselves. He wasn’t going to complain, this his motorcycle back in his presence Owen was willing to spend as much time as he could tinkering with it. If he was being honest with himself, Owen didn’t know how to act around Claire half the time. They were cracking at the edges and breaking under undue pressure. She was pregnant and apprehensive on the subject, Owen unsure of where he could tread. She only told him seven weeks ago and yet their floorboards felt like egg shells. He stayed away from the topic unless she invited him to comment. They had good days and bad, ones where she curled up and wanted to talk nursery furniture and others where she pushed herself too hard he had to remind her she was growing another life.

When Claire offered that they did their own thing for the weekend, organising a causal run for the both of them when he felt up for it, Owen was pleased. He didn’t want to force anything between them but it was hard to tell her moods and frankly, he was happy if she was willing to come to him when ready to discuss it further.

He buried himself in the garage, set with tinkering and mechanical improvements to last him days let alone the weekend, the stereo was on, his bar fridge filled, a time set in his mind where he could take a break and slowly jog the neighbourhood with Claire. She was content with whatever it was she was doing, likely reading, or huffing at the veggie garden she was desperately trying to nurture. He would check in, stretch his legs in a few hours, they would run, decide on dinner, go back to their individual tasks and possibly settle with a movie before climbing into bed.

The weekend had other plans, not letting it hit ten o’clock before Claire was in the doorway separating the garage from the front entry of their home.  

There was something written across her face that worried him immediately, first glance and he felt his stomach drop. She didn’t speak, just looked at him with wide wet eyes, both arms wrapped around her middle with a hand flat on the small curve of her stomach. Owen held his breath, eyes scanning her for physical signs of harm. He rose, dropping the wrench in his hand to stand, hands wiping with a rag. ‘Claire?’ He asked softly, approaching her with slow steps. She was a flighty animal, Owen sure she would break off into a run if he rushed her.

‘I think I need to go to the hospital.’ She shifted her weight as her bottom lip wobbled. His heart leapt into his throat at her quiet announcement. ’I fell.’ Her voice cracked, face crumbling as her arms tightened their hold. Owen didn’t hesitate in filling the space between them, pulling her under his arm as he tucked her against his chest, one of his large hands engulfing hers on her abdomen.

‘Are you hurt?’ She was shaking like a leaf, whole body trembling as she buried her face against his shoulder. Her hand slipped free to touch at her hip, complaining of a potential bruise.

‘I don’t feel too good.’ Claire was white as a sheet, eyes pressed closed, teeth in her bottom lip. He didn’t know if it was just because of the way she was shaking or the fright she had given herself, but Owen wasn’t willing to take any chances with her health.

‘Is the baby okay?’ He felt her body shudder, Claire’s cheek moving against his shoulder. Her sob broke him, the cry splitting from her throat.

‘I don’t know.’ She turned into him, arm sliding around his back her fingers grasping his shirt. ‘Owen, I’m scared.’ He felt her brow tighten, the woman refusing to look up at him as Owen tried to usher her out of the doorway and towards the living room. ‘What if I’ve done serious damage?’ She lifted her face, scared blue eyes bleeding into his, begging him for some kind of reassurance.

Owen kissed her forehead, his hand never leaving the grove of her stomach. She slipped, missing the bottom step on the stairs to fall straight onto her ass. She was sure her hip was going to bruise from hitting the wall. He didn’t know anything about pregnancy to rightly reassure her. ‘You’re not bleeding or cramping though, right?’ He asked, throat thick as he felt his heart try to hammer its way right through his chest. She shook her head. It was possibly too early to tell.

‘I really want to go to the hospital.’ She insisted, voice smaller than her usual commanding tone. Owen could count on one one hand the number of times he had seen her like this; each time related to her pregnancy. Even after Jurassic World fell apart Claire held it together, her voice never wavering and her face calm.

Owen nodded, kissing her cheek twice before he managed to reign in control of his actions. ‘Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Let’s go.’ He helped her to the car like she was porcelain, one hand on the small of her back holding her cardigan while the other remained glued to her stomach. It was like he thought the presence of his hand alone could will their unborn child into staying put. He kissed her cheek again once he buckled her into the car, Claire letting Owen take control despite being completely capable of putting her seatbelt on herself. He needed it, she left, more than she did; to be the nurturer in something she said she didn’t want to keep. His hand lingered on her stomach, eyes meeting it as he tore himself away. Once in the driver's side, Owen collected Claire’s hand in his, squeezing her small fingers within his larger ones.

She tried to focus herself, collect her breathing and thus settle her erratic heartbeat. Claire wouldn’t be doing herself any good if she was panicking on top of the stress she threw her body in. She could still feel where her pelvis collided with the bottom step and the white cold chill that speckled across her skin. She had felt sick to her stomach immediately, pain setting off every nerve ending in her lower half while the alarms started to ring in her head. She remained still for a minute before pulling herself up on shaking legs, barely shuffling across the house to find Owen; hoping that he was still in the garage and hadn’t gone for an unannounced hardware trip. There was an instant relief when she spotted him, quickly followed by a new wave a grief when the worry started to slide across his face.

‘I don’t want anything to happen to this baby, Owen.’ She told him, her eyes on the road, cautiously watching him through her peripheral vision. Owen turned his head, taking his attention from the empty road to stare at her for a split second before returning to keeping them safe. ‘I know I said, I didn’t want it but I do — I really do — I’m just scared.’ She was holding her breath, not looking at him as she squeezed his hand as tightly as she could. ‘I don’t want you to think that I wished this would happen.’ They had already talked about it. He didn’t quite grasp her reasoning, but Claire promised she wouldn’t abort the baby she was carrying despite the shake in her hands and the look of absolute terror in her eyes. She committed to him, to a child, to a life together no matter what happened down the line.

He sighed, the sound mournful. ‘Oh, Claire —‘, his hand squeezed hers, ‘— I could never think that’. He could see she was far more frightened than he was. Owen was trying to be the rational one, putting logic in their place and sheer hope that things would be okay. Something in the back of his head said there was a reason to be alarmed when a pregnant woman fell, but he couldn’t remember hearing the last time something serious happened because of it. ‘He’s going to be fine, Claire, it’s okay.’

‘He?’ She echoed back, tears blurring her eyes as a smile nipped at the corners of her mouth.

His thumb rubbed circles across her palm, eyes tearing away from the road to look at her again. ‘Yeah; he. It would be nice to have a boy, don’t you think. Softer colours, easier going, I can take him fishing to give you the night off. That’d be the life, aye, Claire?’ He kept saying her name over and over, every time he spoke it left his mouth with a tight squeeze of her hand.

She nodded, grin on her face despite the tears and wobbling cry that wouldn’t stop. The hand he wasn’t holding, cupped her belly, rubbing soothing circles around her small bump. ‘You’d be good with a boy.’ Claire had already seen Owen with her nephews enough to know that he knew how to relate; although awkwardly, after a significant trauma.

Without discussion, Owen decided to take Claire to her OB/GYN’s clinic rather than dealing with the busy emergency room at the hospital. He was sure she was fine, despite the panic he couldn’t swallow and didn’t want to sit in the E.R. if he didn’t have to.

The staff weren’t taking chances, giving Claire soft smiles as they sent her straight through, promising Dr Carson would be with her any minute. ‘I heard you took a fall.’ She appeared as promised, Claire sitting on the bed, hands in her lap, worry still burrowing itself in every crease on her face. Carson smiled, her hand squeezing Claire’s arm. ‘Now, I’m going to tell you not to worry and I need you to believe me, Claire. Your baby is very well padded in there. It would take something very serious happening externally to get to them at this stage.’ She looked to Owen, adding that he would have taken Claire straight to the hospital instead of her clinic if that were the case, Claire injured too. ‘You didn’t fall on your stomach, did you?’ Claire shook her head. ‘I’m confident in saying you’re okay, the baby is okay and that nothing will happen other than a bruise. Would you like me to do an ultrasound just in case?’ Claire nodded before Carson could even finish asking.

‘I’m not leaving until I see that the baby is okay.’ Claire insisted, reaching for Owen’s hand and continuing her death grip.

Carson smiled, promising Claire that she wouldn’t have sent her home without doing a proper check up. She would not have it held over her head if her assumptions were wrong. As a medical professional and Claire’s friend, she owed it to her to make sure her baby was safe.

‘Alright, Baby Grady, let’s show your momma you’re fine.’ Carson went about her business prepping the doppler and setting up the screen for Owen and Claire to see. She tried to warm the jelly between her hands before she squeezed some on Claire’s bare belly, the woman holding her shirt under her breasts as she started at the blank screen intensely. ‘Claire?’ Carson started, waiting for her patient to tear her eyes away. ‘I need you to relax, okay?’ She forced her to take three deep breaths before she began, watching Claire’s shoulders relax before she brought the doppler to her stomach. It took a minute before she found it, a distinctive curve of a head and slope of a spine before the image settled, Carson finding the right spot to give Owen and Claire a full view of their baby. ‘There’s the little bean, safe and sound!’

Claire broke, sob bubbling past her lips as she rolled her head to Owen’s shoulder, the man half perched on the bed. The screen showed them a full body profile of their baby, at sixteen weeks Baby Grady had full arms and legs, the smallest details in fingers with a thumb stuck in their mouth.

‘He looks so relaxed.’ Owen sighed with relief, feeling the emotion claw up his throat as Claire squeezed his hand desperately. Their child, who was completely fine, was reclined with legs crossed, foot tapping, more than comfortable in his living quarters for the foreseeable six months. Owen pressed a fat kiss to Claire’s cheek, letting his touch linger for comfort as she cried tears of joy instead of fear. Her free hand covered her mouth as Carson leant over to squeeze her arm.

‘This feeling, Claire. It’s overwhelming, but it’s a good thing. You care. You were more than concerned about the wellbeing of your child despite being unsure about your pregnancy. I think this can settle your worries. That instinct to protect is there.’ She gave her a broad smile, knowing the last time the two had been in her office was less than pleasant for all involved. Carson tapped at the keyboard, one hand holding steady to the doppler as a thumping filled the room, fast like a marching band but a little less organised. ‘Mostly, this is Claire’s heart because she’s worked up but if you can take a few deep breaths and let it even out I’ll be able to show you the difference between yours and the baby’s.’

[…]

The ordeal exhausted her. Exhausted them both. Owen and Claire shuffling through the front door to embrace the serenity of their home and the comfort that the baby was okay. He didn’t want to leave her side but knew if he hovered that Claire would snap and tell him to go away. She slipped off her shoes with a heavy sigh, shoulders shifting as a hand graced her bump protectively and as a small reminder that the life beneath it was still there. He watched her soften, the tension in her back slipping away as Claire wordlessly moved for the stairs and the master bedroom.

‘Want me to make lunch?’ He offered, hoping she would ask him to follow her. Claire stopped, looking at him over her shoulder with a thankful smile and soft words that if he brought her a sandwich he was a life saver. Owen was sure, after everything, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Claire. He let her climb the stairs, knowing that she would be fine without his eyes on her at all times.

It took him twenty-two minutes and sixteen seconds to make them each a roast chicken sandwich, made up of the leftovers from the night before’s dinner, and pour a glass of orange juice. Cut into two triangles and stacked on top of each other on one plate, a bottle of water under his arm so his hand was free to hold her juice, Owen eliminated the second trip he was destined to make in order to take his food to the second floor.

There was something about the silence in their home recently that made him giddy. The oncoming sound of little feet still months away but all too tempting to daydream about. Owen was sure he was ready for it, waiting to hear cries and gurgles and small baby giggles. He was ready to bring Claire sandwiches and fruit salad, whatever lunch she desired while she fed their baby in the comfort of their bed or the rocking chair he was desperate to buy. It was hard to not get overwhelmed, expecting the future that was nearly ripped from him that morning. For now, it was silence, the soft sound of his feet sticking to the floorboards as he moved from the landing to the open bedroom door. He rapped his fingers against the wood to alert her of his presence before he looked up to find the red head with her eyes closed.

‘Claire,’ He called to her softly, the same singsong voice to raise someone from slumber. She didn’t respond, breathing softly like she was deep in sleep, not ready to wake. ‘Claire?’ He called again, voice a little louder as he deposited their plates and drinks on her bedside table. She had curled into his spot, tucked on the left side of the bed, his pillow curled under her head, throw blanket across her knees. ‘Babe, I brought lunch.’ He tried for a third time, knees on the bed as his hand tentatively touched her arm. She was out, near snoring her sleep was so deep. Owen didn’t blame her, Claire had rattled herself so much she was bound to crash and burn without warning.

Owen lowered himself to the mattress, mirroring her position as he lay on his side. Claire liked to lie to herself, but she was showing more than the woman was ready to admit. At sixteen weeks, her bump was pronounced enough to tell she was pregnant. He knew her bosses didn’t know, nor did his mother. He and Karen were the only ones privy to the information while she wouldn’t have been able to hide it from him for much longer, Karen lived in another state, unable to look at her sister’s body shape and pick the smooth curve that added to her silhouette. He didn’t know what she was thinking in trying to hide it in the middle of summer when all her form fitting clothes outlined the perfect shape their baby had added to her body. It was perfect, the easy curve from her hips to her breasts, widest at the bottom before sloping out. He could cup it in his hands, perfectly. Owen couldn’t help reaching out to touch her, his fingers gracing her bump easily, mindful of her protective hand resting bellow the weight. He knew if he wanted to wake her, all he needed to do was move her hand, or make his touch heavy enough her sleeping mind detected it. Claire was worried, up some nights, petrified that she couldn’t be a mother. She admitted to feeling no maternal instinct but he saw it written all over her. In fact, her own worry that she had no instinct was sign enough that Claire didn’t want to screw this up. Her doctor had said it herself that morning, the panic Claire put herself in fear that she had harmed the baby was enough proof that she cared.

He watched his fingers spread across the fabric of her shirt, stretching over the swell of her skin; the marvel that was shifting every day to accommodate the growth of his child. Owen couldn’t thank her enough for doing this. The stretch marks had already started to appear, Claire weakly asking him to rub her skin in oils in an attempt to return it all to normal. He didn’t know much but was starting to doubt it was going to go back to the way it was. Not that he was complaining, but Claire was bound to be unimpressed.

‘Hey little bug —‘ He spoke unsure of where the will to speak came from but going for it anyway. His eyes jumped to Claire’s face, careful that he hadn’t woken her as his hand on her stomach stopped, waiting for the smallest of movement he knew he wouldn’t feel yet. ‘—You don’t know this yet, but I love you more than anything in the world, well, maybe besides your mom.’ Had even told her he loved her? Owen and Claire had been together a year and he was uncertain those words had ever crossed his lips. The fact that he was questioning it was enough to know it was possible he hadn’t ever said it. Love was a tricky thing so far as Owen was concerned, but Claire earned it, so did this baby, his heart still doing summersaults at the thought. ‘I promise, I’m going to tell her that.’ He tapped her belly like he would tap the nose of their child whenever he made a playful promise. ‘I thought we were going to lose you for a second there today.’ He hadn’t said it aloud, same scared feeling returning to swallow him whole for a second before Owen managed to recenter himself. The baby was perfectly fine, they saw him, heard his heartbeat, he moved, sucking his thumb and tapping his foot. ‘I love you both so much.’ Owen hummed, emotion caught in his throat as he watched his hand stroke the side of Claire’s bump, hopeful that his touch had some effect on the child within.

Bob Dylan swirled in his mind, lyrics from an old song he could recall being played from some point in his youth. The lyrics were muddled in his head, the guitar tune itching to be plucked from his fingers, Owen internally promising himself to sit down with the sheet music and play it out in an afternoon. He didn’t need it to be perfect, sound hummed against his lips with an intense need to share it with the being inside Claire’s womb. The words were rolling off his tongue without thought, recalled from years of hearing it, loving it, wishing to live by the lyrics and impart them to someone else.

‘May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous

Stand upright and be strong

And may you stay

Forever you’

‘I forgot you could sing.’ Claire’s voice drifted over his head, loud and clear, somewhat humoured and rasped with disuse. Owen jumped, embarrassment flushing red hot across his cheeks as he let out an involuntary sound.

Her hand on her stomach reached for his, locking their fingers together as she squeezed. ’Shit, Claire!’ He half yelped at her, pulling his head towards her bump as his other hand joined, Owen pressing his lips to the evidence of their child. He kissed her stomach twice before moving up the bed, his laughter meeting her cheeks as he kissed her, his hands squeezing hers. ‘I hate you.’ He hummed, eyes squeezed close, trying to will the heat off his face.

Claire hummed, ‘No, I’m pretty sure you said you loved me’. He cracked his eyes open just for her smile, knowing the look would be glorious on her skin. Sixteen weeks pregnant and he could swear she had already gained a glow, her cheeks plumper, face seeming more ground as her stomach began to expand. Seven weeks ago he had no clue she was pregnant, now it was undeniable. Her smile was wide but shy, her blue eyes glimmering in the light as she bit her lip unsure of his reaction as she aired his secrets out loud.

‘You’re right’, Owen nodded, ‘I love you’. He kissed her softly, barely touching her lips. She whispered the words back, barely uttering them as her mouth moved around them, eyes unsure. He wanted to tell her she didn’t have to say it, but something told him she was sincere just scared like she was with everything else that was happening in their lives. ‘Are you okay?’ He asked, eyes dropping to her bump. He wasn’t just concerned about that moment in particular, but the day in general, Owen worried that Claire mightn’t have moved on with reassurance. She nodded softly, promising everything was fine, she was just tired and her head ached a little. ‘Hey, why don’t I move the spare TV up here and we can call it a bed day?’ Owen offered, grin wide as he sat up, handing Claire the sandwich he made and insisting she eat it. ‘You can show me that nursery set you were looking at?’

If Owen was being perfectly honest, he was scared of what would happen if she got out of bed. It was the stairs that made Claire slip in the first place, he would relax into his Saturday afternoon with much more ease if he knew Claire wasn’t willing to get up and move around — at least until he managed to find a slip-proof mat to put down on the stairs.

Claire looked unsure, teeth nibbling on her lip as she eyed her glasses on the bedside table. ‘You can work.’ He promised her. ‘I’ll go get your laptop too.’ She nodded, giving in to his ploy and convenience as she sat up, a hand smoothing over her bump before she accepted the sandwich. Owen bowed his head to press another kiss to her bump. ‘I’m glad he’s okay, Claire.’

She smiled, hand doing another circle. ‘Me too.’

[almondbiscotti]

WFH Day 4: 9 April 2020

6.somethingam? – Housemates gives me a peck before he leaves for distancing ambassador work. I vaguely remember saying something to him and he says something back.

7.00am – Woken up by alarm. This time, I turn the damn thing off instead of snoozing.

8.27am – Jolted awake dear Lord I’m going to be late for work!! Wake up strangely tired. Remembered I was having a ridiculous dream where I was trying to decide on an outfit for a wedding of a sec school acquittance and nothing fit me and Sabrina (hello I know you read this) was trying to help me but seriously how to help a situation like this. Is this my body telling me I need to lose weight cos GOD DAMN IT.

8.28am – Boss checks in in the dept group chat reminding us we have a VC later at 10.

8.29am – I check in and acknowledge her text

8.30am – The bed is so comfy homg. Scroll scroll scroll through social media. Find Instagram post of girlfriend (think it’s fiancé liao) of an ex-boyfriend. Awww they’re sweet together. I’m happy for them. Really, I am. Random thought that people who over share their relationship on social media usually aren’t in great relationships flash across my mind. Realise who the heck cares, it’s all inconsequential to me.

9.03am – Finally get out of bed. Do the usual biz in the toilet. Should I make coffee or tea today? I’m enjoying the slowness at the start of the day before I go crazy at work because my to-do list is growing quite exponentially. I deserve this!

9.19am – I should probably put a bra on. The problem with VCing the same group of people most of the time is that you have to change your clothes. :/ I can’t wear the same cardigan every time or they’d think I’m weird. Would they think I’m weird? This is a damn first world problem I know. I know I know I know you come back and judge me when you have no first world problems.

9.21am – Contemplate showering. I usually shower in the morning before I leave for work but now with WFH, there isn’t really a point so I don’t. Usually shower in the afternoon though, cos it gets so damn hot. Of course, I also shower in the evening before bed. WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT SHOWER HABITS!?

9.22am – I shall make coffee. Oh and water the plants!

9.36am – Open all the windows in the house cos air flow is important.

9.40am – Hey Google, play Spotify.

9.41am - Homg Treacherous by Taylor Swift is really my jam. The song brings back a gazillion memories for me. Also, I miss the Housemate. ☹

9.43am – Wonder if I could get away with no wearing a bra since VC doesn’t show my chest anyway.

9.44am – Decide it’s not worth the risk and put on the damn bra. And a cardigan.

9.55am – WHY IS MY STOMACH BEING WEIRD GOD DAMN ITI HAVE A VC AT 10AM

9.59am – Fastest bowel movement of my life.

10.00am – Boss asks to delay VC to 10.10. God damn it.

10.10am – VC.

10.44am – VC ends. GOT MORE WORK HOW IS WFH BUSIER THAN WORK FROM OFFICE DEAR GOD

11.10am – Send out email to staff with stuff I owed them. Feels good flexing some of the muscles from my ACTA training. 😊

11.11am – Feels damn shiok to tick one thing of my ridiculously long to-do list n

11.13am – OKAY WORK WORK WORK WORK.

11.44am- WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING MAHJONG AT THIS TIME. I THOUGHT NO MORE SOCIAL GATHERING I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL CALL THE POLICE

12.41pm – I should make lunch.

12.42pm – Realise that housemate and I are running a little low on toilet paper. We actually legit have to go buy toilet paper. 

12.50pm – Make lunch! Lunch shall just be ramen noodles cos I’m really lazy.

1.00pm – OMNOMNOM Noodles are great. I added some veggies, egg and sliced cheese and it was really good.

1.01pm – Watch an English YouTuber as I eat. She lives in the countryside in England and she has a massive field as part of her property and I AM SO JEALOUS.

1.16pm – Done with lunch! I’ll wash the dishes later. NOMNOM PEAR! 😊

1.20pm – Okay fine I’ll wash the dishes now.

1.32pm – WORK WORK WORK. Seriously I think I’m more productive with WFH than in Office.

2.21pm – Video call with the tablemates! Ahhh so good to see these 2 girls 😊

2.22pm – HOUSEMATE IS HOME! I also rush to close all the windows and blinds in the toilets cos Housemate wants to shower.

2.30pm – After an extremely quick catch up with the girls, it is clear we’re all quite busy so we basically just camera on to occasionally look at each other but mostly we’re just doing out own work. It’s still nice. 😊

3.11pm – Call with the girls end because I wanna go collect mask from the gahment.

3.15pm – Walk to the collection point near my place to collect 2 masks, one each for housemate and me.

3.18pm – WHY ARE THERE SO MANY KIDS OUT PLAYING WHATEVER HAPPENED TO STAY AT HOME?!

3.19pm – I walk extra fast and try not to breathe lest any of these brats are contagious. Also, loud children disgust me.

3.23pm – Masks collected! I got the black ones! Really quick and easy.

3.30 pm – Pop by NTUC on the way back to grab shampoo and toilet paper. THEY RESTOCKED OYSTER SAUCE! Grab a bottle of that. And some fish pancake ice cream for my mother. and Magnum for Housemate. (And me. I love almond magnum)

3.31pm - DAFUG WHY IS THERE SO MUCH TOILET PAPER IN NTUC?! Also, I can’t find a single set of plastic tissue paper packets. You know, not the boxed kind, the plastic pack kinds. Actually, there aren’t many tissue boxes available. Are people hoarding those now? 

3.32pm - STILL NO BLOODY ONIONS AVAILABLE AT NTUC. WHY ARE PEOPLE HOARDING ONIONS?  

3.36pm – JESUS HOW DID I SPEND NEARLY 60 BUCKS AT NTUC!

3.37pm – Realise the shampoo and conditioner I use is very expensive. :/

3.45pm – HOME! Unpack everything. My freezer is really full.

3.52pm – SHOWER! Dear God I’m sticky and gross.

4.07pm – Play a game of Cookie Run on my phone. I love Cookie Run.

4.15pm – I should prep for my 4.30pm VC. Put on a bra, change my top. Fiddle with my hair. Argh my hair is an animal.

4.23pm – Sent the email I needed half a day to prepare for out. Phew.

4.30pm – VC!

5.30pm – VC ends. Happy to have made a good match between a MA and a dept. 😊

5.40pm – A flurry of emails! Go go go!

6.10pm – Okay done with the emails! Phew. My shoulders really ache.

6.11pm – Pluck some vegetables from the garden for my Mom. I’m seeing her to pass her some groceries today.

6.36pm – Reach Mom’s place, pass her the goods. She complains I’m late (I was supposed to be there at 6.30pm) She made fried rice for me! And cut some melon too! YAYYYYYYYY HAPPY TIMES

6.52pm – HOME! Fry eggs and opened a can of sardines to go with the fried rice. I add onions, sliced chili and a bit of mirin to the sardines. Makes it extra good. Normally I’ll add some lime juice too but I have no lime. I’d grow a lime tree but for some reason the limes I’ve bought were all seedless. O.o

7.02pm – SHOWER! Ahhh I have a webinar I signed up for that started at 7!

7.11pm – NOMNOM and watch NUS Webinar on Covid-19. Housemate eavesdrops and decides it’s interesting and watches with me.

7.30pm – It’s really quite interesting! We cast it on the TV so it’s bigger and easier to see the slide details.

8.something pm – Webinar ends! I’m gonna tune in for next week’s session. I’M LEARNING SO MUCH!

9.01pm - See email that my CMB sent. Argh, bad news. :( Email also reminds me I haven’t reported my twice daily mandated temperature readings yet. 

9.20pm - JESUS MY COMPANY’S VPN IS SO FRUSTRATINGLY SLOW I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU MY TEMPERATUTRE

9.32pm - FINALLY! I’m in. 

9.33pm - ALL DONE! :) 

And there ends WFH Day 4! 😊