#people who dont realize that their oppression doesnt stop them from oppressing someone else

[bingobongobonko]

anyways yea im in the shower and im stupid and cant articulate thoughts ig its just so crazy how often communities that are supposed to be hand in hand will throw each other under the bus to secure their own rights

[piratestrash]

(This is probably going to be long, I am so sorry!)

I think the main problem with Teague (or one of them) is that he lacks empathy. He is obviously selfish and bad and sinister and i dont know what else, but some of his actions shows that he doesn't realise he is hurting someone or he fails to understand it when he is told. But when he has the same experience with that person he changes complitely. For example: Jack has expressed numerous times how much oppressed he feels with him and that his behaviour is abusive. He doesn't even try to change. Now look at that: Jack is afraid to die, he acts cowardly. Teague wishes that he would be more like his mother and his niece. Years later Jack did something brave (Teague called it stupid, but nevermind): he freed the people he believed they were not rogues in order to find evidence for their innocent. Both Teague and Jack almost died. But! Teague didn't know that Jack survived until like five years later. Do you know what was the first thing Teague told him when Jack left Libertalia to find the other Shadow Gold? (Teague doesnt know much about the Shadow Lord, because Jack never told him any details, if i remember correctly.) You guessed it: "Take care of yourself. Don't be a hero." Teague had to feel the loss of his son (and probably the feeling of being unable to stop a threat. He couldnt stop the rogue pirates no matter how hard he tried and when the rogues escaped, he was almost shot. He couldn't stop a bullet from creating a hole to his head, could he?) to understand that Jack is not a superman and he is afraid.

I see Teague as someone who does have empathy, myself. He doesn't realize his own hurt because of his mother, and therefor can't understand that his son is hurt by his actions.

He considers it Jack just being a dramatic kid(because tbf, Jack can be dramatic when he wants to be) like what his mother had told him and his siblings when they were younger and felt trapped, felt like they were worthless.

If he were to know(and believe it/not think it's an exaggeration), I imagine he'd feel horrible once he got out of denial.

[armillary-spheres-lover]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

[spidermanifested]

not to do Universal Steve Discourse on main in 2019 but....... i did genuinely enjoy the season finale and i want to like. express the reasons why? in a really really really long drawn-out and needlessly convoluted manner probably because this is being typed on mobile and im tired

first of all i know the main thing people dont like about how things have gone in general is the fact that its less You Gotta Beat the Bad Guys and more You Gotta, Talk to the Bad Guys Until They Stop Being Bad, which is not very often a realistic approach to stopping actual horrible people in our real human society from doing actual horrible things

and i get it!! but honestly the way the finale goes about resolving conflict (or specifically how steven goes about resolving conflict), while flawed, feels more like. a mediatorial power fantasy id have as a kid than anything else. like....... for once, things not having to end with the strongest person coming out on top. making the other side just sit there and listen for a few minutes, and force them to realize that their actions have consequences for the rest of the world and the people they claim to care about. that no, their idea of whats best isnt always helpful! that theyre ignoring everyones actual needs in favor of an idealized and selfish narrative!

every time i would watch a show featuring superheroes or anything similar when i was younger id hate that it always had to resolve itself with violence instead of just TALKING to each other, and maybe su and the homeworld arc in particular isnt an accurate portrayal of successfully navigating interpersonal conflict with stubborn assholes or of fighting systemic oppression or a fascist government colonizing everybody else and suppressing all dissent through any means available or whatever but. sometimes metaphors dont work as a direct 1:1 comparison to things happening in real life, and thats, okay i think? sometimes? i dont know it just feels good to see everybody UNDERSTAND each other. it reminds me that its. actually possible once in a blue moon to convince someone to treat the people around them with respect. and it just feels good honestly. its a fantasy show and Everybody Goddamn Finally Getting Along is a Common and Valid Fantasy to Have Especially If Youre a Kid in a Bad Place

also: though in a lot of scenarios this way of approaching the diamonds wouldnt be feasible at all, steven in the show is not just a random human whos magically able to change the minds of alien dictators. hes the son of maybe the one person they had any compassion for, and they treated him like he was still her, which even then Wasnt Great because the diamonds were not a healthy familial setup by any measure. but at the very least they could SOMETIMES be swayed by pink. and he used that to its advantage by showing them how much they hurt her, and then by extension how much they hurt everybody else, even if they didnt particularly care about the rest of their “flawless” gem society. and maybe they still dont!!! maybe theyre just making reparations to honor pink. but when it comes down to it their feelings dont matter. their motivations dont matter. their ACTIONS matter. in stevens words: “you did this, and now you have to fix it”.

he used his foothold in their good graces (again, relatively) to make them take a closer look at their actions, and thats what makes it more rational to me. because of course they wouldnt listen if he was some random half-alien kid. if he really was unrelated to the diamonds he would have HAD to use force. you dont get people to listen to your viewpoint by just talking when theyve already convinced themselves youre below their consideration and itd be useless to pretend otherwise, yes!! but to use another characters metaphor- the best character in the whole show (bismuth)- if you are a lion, you can safely enter the lions den. use your respected-as-a-peer status to convince the people around you to be better. obviously everybody being affected by oppression can fight with everything theyve got and it makes a huge difference, but what also makes a difference is people in positions of privilege standing up for other peoples rights and magnifying their voices, and the burden of breaking out from an unjust system shouldnt NEED to be placed on the downtrodden. we should fight, but we shouldnt HAVE to fight. its not our fault things are this way

and giving up on galactic conquest doesnt suddenly make the diamonds good people. not once to my memory do they ever actually verbally apologize (at least white diamond definitely didnt) but like i said before, that doesnt really matter to the people they hurt. the damage is done and any apology offered would just look flimsy and performative. instead steven has them just shut up and fix the things theyre able to fix. nobody says “i forgive you”, they arent suddenly given tragic backstories to make the audience sympathize with them, theyre just... the same close-minded egotistical royalty, but being forced to look at everybody else from a different angle for the very first time, directly after coming to grips with the fact that their awful caste-based society pressured one of “their own” into faking her own death and later dying for real just so she could experience life outside of the constricting role she was born into. thats their thing. that isnt a redemption arc so much as a “hurray we made them pay for their reprehensible actions in a constructive and viable manner” arc

i think thats... cool? less focus on Punishing Wrongdoers and more focus on Fixing Problems. we need that. in a lot of ways

but yes i also wholeheartedly believe that you should not argue or debate or converse with fascists in real life unless youre somebody they have to take seriously. like. their dad, or something. and dont do it anywhere public where they can perform for the audience instead of addressing your words. and also dont do it on the internet where they can screencap and mock you with their friends instead of being serious. but if youre their dad i dont know why youd need to be doing that. anyways this post is long enough so thats the end of my ‘Punching Nazis is Very Morally Good and Also Fun and Im Not About to Say Otherwise in a Million Years’ disclaimer

the tumblrmobile refuses to post this so ive had to save it as a draft and come back on my laptop to add tags good website great design functions as intended

[just-a-kiss-away-from-reality]

I wanna say something else here.

Cuz this is something else thats legit bugging me now.

You call someone a homophobe over this? it makes me think of the people ive met in my life who are, or have been, like him.

Ive had to correct SO many people, pick them up on the nasty habit of saying exacly what he said. Multiple times for the same people.

You know what they all share between them? The belief that homosexuality is fine, that we're equal, and deserve to be treated as such.

It makes me think about the friends i have who used to say this stuff, and how i sat with them and explained why they shouldnt, and eventually helped them to stop saying these things, because after i first told them, they almost all had this stunned look of not realizing the impact. I told them why it hurt regardless of context and any time they said it afterwards they would catch themselves and apologise. Now they dont say it at all. People younger than me and older than me. My own Father at one point. And he's over 60 now!

So do not confuse or claim that someone is homophobic when they clearly are not.

Y'all know god damn well that Dom does not hate people because theyre not straight. And that he does not want to actively cause harm or oppress the community.

He did something homophobic, but that doesnt mean that at his core he is a honophobe. What he did is inexcusable and he needs to be brought up on what he's done and make sure never to do it again if he has any hope of forgiveness.

But calling someone a homophobe when they say something like this that they definitely learned at a young age and didnt think twice about whether it would cause harm? You can tell from his tone he wasnt being malicious. Basic context clues here people.

How am I the only person on this shitty website who can understand the distinction between the two?

Idk. I just read all this and think about the people I know who were once like that and it makes my blood boil. Those friends who would always jump to my defense and protect me, who would tell people off and speak up for me when i couldnt find my voice. The ones who still needed work, because its human nature to repeat the things we grow up saying by force of habit and they grew MORE and theyre DIFFERENT now and they know better! God, even i've said it before, years ago. Back when I was like, 21.

There is a clear difference. And so many of you have such a black or white mindset its surprising to see from LGBTQIA+ people.

That's all im saying.

[jskim2112]

i havent been doing my counseling homework. i pick and choose the homeworks i want to do... sessions are biweekly. the first two weeks, i was very diligent. the second two weeks, i did the new assignments but did not keep up with the old ones. the third two weeks (now), i did it for the first half, but temporarily had to stop and never restarted. 

when life hits the fan and fecal contents are smattered along the wall, i am highly motivated to address the bad habits and whatevers in my life. when dust settles and “status quo” returns, the motivation dwindles. that’s pretty common in oppressive situations-- don’t torture your people so much that they revolt and coup; ease up just enough so they don’t realize they have the option of freedom. blegh. i’m an ignorant peon.

why do we choose to live in slavery to our flesh? why am i so weak?

let’s go back to some basic things you are learning in counseling.

#1 sleep, eat (WELL), rest (no) exercise (no) nature. these are your basic needs. you are not yourself when you don’t have these things. you do not make the best decisions when you do not have these things. you are not efficient (despite what you may think) when you do not get these things. no one else is going to make sure you get these things. this is YOUR responsibility to paradigm shift in your head that you MUST prioritize these things. despite the initial time investment, these things are efficient. duh. i know you know that in your head, but your actions say otherwise...

#2 do not try to immediately stop feelings or emotions. i started “headspace” a mindfulness meditation app and it gave the analogy of someone watching a busy highway. the cars represent our feelings/emotions. it seems silly that our first instincts are to run out and stop the cars. it just causes accidents. instead, you just watch the cars. they come. they go. do not react to your emotions/feelings by immediately starting to stuff your face with food. when you put it in writing like that, it sounds absurd hahaha... you are surprised sometimes by thoughts/feelings and your hand literally twitches in repetitive movements, bringing food into your mouth, until hours pass, mass quantities are consumed, and you have nothing to show for it but a costly costly habit. you dont need another EGD to tell you that you really need to moderate your eating habits. and that goes for every other compulsive and excessive habit of yours. fix it. if you want more motivation at a time when it feels like more work to fix it, remind yourself that you are wasting precious brain space. so much energy is spent on focusing on eating and planning and then being full and uncomfortable and then the cycle perpetuates. so much energy is spent on thinking through all of this nonsense. beat it. god is a jealous god.

#3 be kind to yourself. are people born being hard on themselves? i remember hearing this a lot growing up, that i was too hard on myself... but i always thought they just weren’t ambitious or hard working or had low standards -_-... whoops. hahah. someone pointed out to me-- if you could go back in time and see 5th-grade-jenny or high-school-jenny or even now-SRNA-jenny, how would you respond to her pain? how would you respond to her mistakes and failures? how would you respond if she were a friend or sister? i bet you a lot of money that you would be much kinder to others than you are in your internal monologues... you’re right. a lot of that stuff that happened... wasn’t fair. and that hurts. but that sense of justice is not pure evil. god is a just god. just, don’t try to right the wrongs in your own ways... there is more injustice to come. god is a just god.

#4 you have friends. good friends. many friends. maybe too many friends. you love people. but you cannot love everyone to the degree and depth that you want to. you just cant. you’re giving your all to all who you can give to... but you are choosing breadth over depth until those who don’t want your breadth and won’t put up with your breadth either don’t give back or just keep you surface level-- and then you feel their breadth and then look for others or new friends hoping to get more depth-- until you see those breadth-ers again and you remember how much you love them and then try to give them depth too-- but now you’ve expanded those you want to have depth with but you haven’t expanded finite time or energy because duh you are human-- and now you’re at an even more shallow breadth until someone else drops you again-- and then that feeling of being dropped or failing to love someone you wanted to love-- that’s painful. you cause yourself pain. stop it. and if that doesnt stop you, remember that you are hurting others too. ouch. 

#5 i’m so thankful that i love what i do. at the end of a 70+ hour week, when all i have to look forward to is time outside of the hospital to go to class or read my textbooks or work on my doctoral project or write another presentation... the saving grace is ironically within those 70 hours... the moments when i actually get to pause and remember-- i love anesthesia. the gratification of hand-eye motor coordination and when theory meets application in a clinical setting-- that, for now, ... is enough. thank you, jesus, for the validation.

also, back to #4, do not insult the friends you do have and who do care for you by not thinking that they care for you, just because they dont show you care in the way you may think or see or may think comes easy to you-- doesnt mean that it comes easy to them or is a light gesture from them. be more appreciative, gosh darn it. you have some really really really incredible friends.

on that note, #6 you also have some really incredible opportunities. probably a large part of that is because you don’t know how to say “no” and so you’ve said “yes” to too many things (we’ll come back to that... let’s make that #7). but also a big part of that is god has blessed you with many skills, talents, and passions. and people have noticed. those opportunities are not available to everyone or anyone. stop. pause. it’s okay to be proud of what god has given you. boast all the more proudly of your weaknesses too. despite your short-comings and self-sabotage, look at what god has been able to bring into your life~ incredible. really really incredible. GA, Penn, LA, CRNA school, DNP project with NIH and CDC, two state conference presentations, PANA board member, girl... and that’s just the career stuff. the real opportunities lie in the people that you’ve met along the way, the experiences and doors that has opened, and the wisdom you’ve been lucky to absorb from those around you. channel that. steward that. i know you will, almost to a fault, it’s in your DNA. so instead, i just want to remind you to pause. and recognize. and be thankful.

 alright, i’m tired, and have homework... but i’m glad i made a note to self to remember #7: sometimes, less is more. i think you have a tendency to swing on extremes. you are either too calculated and cautious. or more often than not, you are way too impulsive. between missing out on an opportunity or burning yourself out trying to do it all, you would probably 10 out of 10 times choose the latter. i’m still trying to figure out where that balance should be... but for right now, at this time in your life, err on the side of self preservation. homie, just do less and do them right. i know you THINK you can do everything to the 100% that you demand of yourself... and honestly, you might be able to somehow, but at a huge huge cost-- to your health, your friends/fam, your spiritual life, ... so actually no, no you cannot. less. is. more.

things i did not know about myself: i have a strong sense of justice. i care a lot about people. i have felt deep wrong or lack of parenting from my youth. i forget my human limitations... is that pride? okay, i should stop. good night!

[mavwrekmarketing]

I dont like white women.

Whenever I say that, white women look at me like I just decapitated Taylor Swift. If Im being honest, their reaction is part of the reason I say it. But rest assured, its not the only reason.

I dont like white women because Im not particularly fond of the construct of whiteness or what it represents. I also dont appreciate those who are complicit in my oppression and benefit from it. When I say I dont like white women, its not in reference to any specific white woman (aside from maybe Taylor Swift). Its a declaration that white women pose a very real threat to my existence, and I dont have to embrace that threat with open arms. You have to earn my fondness. This goes for several other groups, obviously, but for some reason white women seem the most baffled by it. Whenever I meet a white woman whos not baffled by it, we instantly become friends. Those are the white women I like.

I dont like white women because Im not particularly fond of the construct of whiteness or what it represents.

As an unapologetically black, queer, and cash poor femme, I accept that I can only speak definitively on my own experiences. In fact, Im of the belief that our experiences are the only things any of us can definitively speak on. But that doesnt mean ours are the only experiences worth acknowledging. There exists a space between the oft chanted chorus silence is violence! and the realization that when we advocate for other people we usually have no idea what were talking about. Navigating that space can be difficult, but its vital to achieving universal liberation. The fact so many white women continue to evade this space is why Black women like me are under the impression they arent all too concerned with our liberation. And just once, Id love for them to prove me wrong.

Im not a scholar, so occasionally I get left behind by academic terminology used to define my identity. Ill never understand why I have to classify myself the way others see fit. Once, someone asked why I refer to myself as cash poor instead of working class. I think working class is a misnomer, since work is no indication of any shared socio-economic status. An undocumented sex worker, for example, and a white housewife trying to get her Etsy Store off the ground dont have much in common. Saying both are working class does a lot to alleviate the conscience of those in positions of privilege. Yet still, when I turn on the news, thats the group I hear politicians declaring their allegiance to. Thats the group I see folks clamoring to fight for. Terms like working class often erase intersections of oppression and replace them with a fictional shared experience. The same can be said of words like feminism, and even women. Ultimately, its not our shared experiences (real or imagined) that will unite us. Its acknowledging our differences.

Today, intersectionality has become a buzzword meant to lend credibility to social agendas that are anything but inclusive.

We leftists and liberals often like to think of ourselves as an intersectional body of unity. When Kimberl Crenshaw coined the phrase intersectionality in the late 80s, the concept was meant to bring attention to co-existing layers of social identity. Today, intersectionality has become a buzzword meant to lend credibility to social agendas that are anything but inclusive. I witnessed this, first hand, last month at the Womens March.

The Womens March was bittersweet for women of color and trans women. Although the official platform of the march referenced intersectionality twice, the experience was anything but that. For all its symbolism and potential, the Womens March was largely a tightly packed shrine to alabaster skin and pink vulvas. My compatriots and I jokingly nicknamed the crowd a sea of astroTERF (a reference to the way trans women were all but excluded from the concerns of the participants). I made a mental note whenever I saw a white woman holding a sign that acknowledged women of color or immigrantsor Black lives mattering. My mental notepad remained largely unused.

I immediately began to think of the violence and harm that self-proclaimed feminists inflict on the most marginalized among us. I thought of all the times I, as a queer individual, believed I was doing enough for queer Black folk by just providing my queer Black body to spaces where not enough of us were present.

I considered the ways in which I was complicit in the erasure of trans women, non-able bodied femmes, and undocumented immigrants; the times I was in my feels because a trans woman made a Facebook status dragging the fuck out of my perception of solidarity. I thought of instances when I actually said Why would I want to fight alongside your struggle if you arent welcoming people like me who are actually trying to advocate on your behalf?

Each of those times I had the wrong way of thinking. I came to that realization by listening and learning and surrounding myself with people who were gracious enough to share insights that I lacked. I believe this has led me to not only be a better feminist, but a better human being. I havent quite yet reached the pinnacle of intersectional Shangri-La, but I know some stuff. And in the interest of sharing my own insights, Ill leave you with three things I try to consider when partaking in liberation work.

Maintaining a Growth Mindset I try to always keep in mind that there are things I dont know. More importantly, there are things I think I know now, that Im just flat wrong about. Hopefully in the future Ill figure out what those things are, and continue on my path of self-determination. But we can never grow mentally, emotionally, or spiritually if we approach things with a closed mind. I always try to listen to the accounts and experiences of others with the notion that Ill pick up something new. Thats how we learn about privilege and our role in oppressing others. Thats how we learn about intersectionality. I cant overstate the importance of listening to people who are willing to share their experiences with us. We just have to be cognizant of who were willing to listen to most intentlywhich brings me to my next point.

Diversity from the Top Society has a hierarchy of experiential priorities. Those priorities align with the social pecking order, starting with straight white able-bodied cisgender men, and proceeding down the line accordingly. When I do anything, I try to start by flipping that hierarchy upside down before I proceed. If Im picking a restaurant to eat dinner, Im going to go out of my way to support a minority-owned business. If Im participating in a direct action, I want to make sure its led by, or in alignment with, the leadership of the most marginalized.

Many Black women who attended the Womens March did so begrudgingly because Black women were largely excluded from the planning until the 11th hour. That doesnt go unnoticed. In order for our liberation to become a reality, we have to incorporate diversity from the top. And it cant be symbolic diversity or tokenism. Are you centering the voices of the unheard? Are you following their direction and listening to their needs? I promise you that your own liberation depends on everyone elses. When you fight for the lives of the most marginalized you simultaneously liberate yourself. A rising tide lifts all boats, yall. Dont end up with a yacht in the desert.

Love Lastly, even when I say I dont like white women, I dont do it from a place of hatred. I do it from a place of self-love and preservation. I dont have to like you to have love and respect for you. If you prescribe to the idea that impact trumps intent, you still cant deny the fact that people who act with love in their hearts usually have the most positive impact. And the best way to convey love is with our actions, not just our words. So when doing this work, its OK to stop and ask yourself if your motivation is coming from a place of love or a place of fear. Its easy to hate. I hate the police. But thats not why I do this work. I do this work because I LOVE my beautiful people, in all their magnificent shapes, sizes, shades, and orientations. I see you. I hear you. And I promise to do my best to honor you.

Reposted from Black Lives Matter Medium.com page: http://ift.tt/2lhA7yy

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