#people tell you all the fuckin time that you won't be heavy to the right person

[tetsutits]

ᰔ cw – fem!reader, weddings, ran is such a wife guy its insane, unprotected ptv, mdni (0.9k words)

most people will agree that weddings are events that are pure, sacred, an act that signifies love and devotion to ones lover. and though they aren't wrong -- a part of you thinks otherwise.

fate sealed and deal done, you now are a married woman with a beautiful rock on your finger -- the very best, of course. ran haitani demands only the best for his beloved, he won't settle for any less than perfect.

fitted in a pretty, white, flowy gown, dolled up so that you could almost be mistaken for a princess, you look like the definition of beauty.

what do they say about brides wearing white on weddings again? oh, right, they were to show pureness, virtue, and innocence.

you disagree.

-- because the way your husband is fucking you right now is nowhere near innocent or pure.

"fuck! fuck--! ran, oh, yes-!"

"fucking hell, baby," your husband groans into your ear, lips grazing over the sensitive skin of your jaw, "'driving me insane."

his wandering hands touch and grope all over you, shamelessly squeezing at your tits through the fabric of your wedding dress that's been hiked up over your hips.

"you're, you're being too loud, ran," you gasp, mouth forming a silent 'o' at the way the tip of his cock repeatedly rubs deliciously against that one spongey spot inside you over and over.

what can you say? your husband knows you too well. body and soul.

he laughs breathily, "this pussy's g'nna kill me one day, i swear,"

impatient as he can be, ran could not wait any longer after your vows and ring exchange. he whisked you away with a hand interlocked with yours, pulling you down hallways and rooms to escape family and guests at the wedding -- just too damn impatient and needing to be alone with you.

impatient, and horny.

now bent over a table in some random cramped room, your husband fucks into your tight pussy like he's never going to get a chance to fuck you ever again. he didn't even bother dropping his slacks all the way, just needing to whip his dick out as soon as he could.

with your gown and veil flipped over your hips, the front of his thighs slap against the back of yours, the skin burning pink and red, drowning out the dirty squelches of your sloppy pussy.

"oh, ran! fuck, fuck, keep doing that, right there--!"

pain blooms satisfyingly, and the way his heavy balls slap against your clit every time he thrusts deep into you has you rolling your eyes and throwing your head back.

he groans, way too loud and not thinking of how anyone passing by can hear everything going on inside this room, "yeah? right there? don' need to tell me, baby, i know."

his breath sends shivers down your spine, little tingles lighting up nerve endings and adding to the ever-growing stimulation. his husky voice makes you squeeze uncontrollably around his dick, pulsing and spasming.

"what? you like that?" he teases, voice low as he thrusts up even harder, gripping your hips tighter so he can force them down to his own, "y'like when i'm fucking you like this, hard and fast?"

"yes, yes! so good, so good," you whine.

the fact that anyone could walk in on the two of you anytime pumps adrenaline all through your body, it makes everything ten times more intense than it is. you could drown in the way ran fucks you so good, perfectly even -- and you relish in the way every thrust brings both pain and pleasure.

"ahh, fuck, if you keep squeezin' me like this, you'll make me cum, princess."

your hands scramble behind you for any stability, trying your best to grab him for any support, but his hips thrust too hard, too harsh, you can barely keep yourself up on your toes at this point.

"ran, ran, ran--!" you babble and squeal as soon as you feel two of his fingers slide over your swollen bud, flicking it and rubbing directly over it.

"c'mon, cum all over this fuckin' dick," he groans, pressing wet kisses all over your jaw and neck, licking away the drops of sweat that gather there. "soak my cock."

and, oh, you do.

ran feels you drench him in slick, pussy so wet he thinks he could drown in it. you tighten impossibly around him, and for a slight second he thinks you might push him right out of you.

all this time, he never stops fucking back into you, determined to prolong your high, to hear you whine and cry even more than you are right now.

you'd be one lucky bride if your makeup isn't melting down your face.

"ahh, yeah, shit, shit," he croaks, eyes tight and face screwed up in pleasure.

ran pulls out abruptly as soon as you come down from your high, slipping out of your wet cunt only so he can blow his entire load all over your veil. coating the lacy material in spurts of his hot cum.

"r-ran! what the fuck!" you squeal, face turned to look back at him in shock.

he groans shamelessly, hand working over his dick to make sure every last drop is out, only then does he slump over you with a stupid smile on his face.

"jus' needed to mark my territory." he says, face tucked into your neck. "what?"

you furrow your brows. "what do you mean 'what?' are you serious right now?!"

he doesn't even look sorry. "hell yeah. 'so hot knowing my cum is on my wife's veil."

"you're disgusting."

"i know."

"you're getting me a new one." you demand.

"anything my wife wants, she gets."

---

IM SO SORRY FOR THE LAST PART ASJDBAKBD thank you for reading!!1

[riverthebooknerd]

LINKED UNIVERSE HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU

(mostly wild, time, twilight, sky, and wind centric cuz those are the main games i've played)

they're all trans

people think that time is the dad of the group but nah. it's twilight

four uses "we/us" pronouns (they/them but actually plural)

wild will either cook the most delicious fucking food you've ever seen in your goddamn life or a pile of rocks (canon)

wind can see ghosts. they all know this. however, sometimes he'll say that there's a spooky ghost when there's not just to freak them out (wild knows. he doesn't say shit bc it's funny)

sky can cook one (1) dish and it's pumpkin soup (he learned after he had to work at the lumpy pumpkin to repay them for breaking shit) (everything else he makes is inedible)

most of them are nonverbal (bc autism and also ptsd)

you'd think that time knows sign language but NO because he grew up in a forest around fairies who don't have? visible hands?? i think?? (he learns sign from wild)

also i've seen people say that time Doesn't Cuss which is simply Not True. let him say fuck. he deserves to say fuck.

the only one of them who doesn't cuss is probably sky. but there are exceptions

actually no i take it back. that fucker says fuck too

All Of Them Should Say Swear Words

please they're so tired just let them say fuck

the ones who have a hookshot are ecstatic to tell the ones without a hookshot about the joys of using it (ex: sky showing it off to wild, who has stars in his eyes, talking about how it'd make climbing in the rain so much easier)

speaking of sky and wild- the realize that there's a merchant named beetle in both of their eras. weird as shit. sky is like "wtf" but wild kinda just nods and goes "yeah okay why not sounds about right tbh"

nightmares

nightmares

have i mentioned nightmares? because they all have nightmares

also nearly all of them have had Queer Encounters and they vent about it!!

sky talking about how ghiriham was UNFAIRLY hot

twilight still sad over midna :( (they're gay btw don't question it they just are)

(wind is an exception bc. he's a fuckin child)

wild lowkey bein like "yeah tbh.... ganondorf before he was mummified?"

time has a wife. time loves his wife

wasn't there that one ship with hyrule/ravio?? haven't played that game so idk but they seem gay (edit: oop it was legend/ravio not hyrule/ravio lololol)

fuck what was this post about again?

they all sleep with a weapon under their pillow (or with no pillow!! just weapon! :] )

some of them (sky) are very heavy sleepers while others (time) are very light sleepers

it's a nice balance because twilight and wild will wake up at the ass crack of dawn and then wind won't wake up until noon. they make a schedule

people also portray them as being So Fucking Awkward but i disagree. have you PLAYED a zelda game? these fuckers will waltz into town, fix every single person's problems, and become the new village icon in the span of two hours. they're so fucking friendly omfg

like these fuckers have fought MONSTERS they've fought DRAGONS and CORPSES and the KING OF EVIL they ain't afraid of a little human interaction (except when they are)

hylia will throw them in a room together and they'll all be like "hi!! :] am link i go hyah" "omg no way me too!! :0 look at my shiny sword and my bag of bombs" "sick"

sky would be like so fucking guilty like "im sorry i failed and got cursed by a demon king guys :(((" and everyone else would be like "oh nah don't even worry about it lmao happens to all of us"

maybe i'll make a pt 2 once i finish my homework who knows

[its-the-val-pal]

Prompt #18: A Fish out of Water

"What'cha wanna do with 'im?" One of the men called out.

"Turn 'em over to the Maelstrom. They'll know what to do," came a second.

"Yeah?" A third replied indignantly. "An' tell 'em what, exactly? 'Hey, we're a buncha thieves what caught a thief trynna thieve our thievery?' You think they'll give us a reward? Pat on the back, maybe?"

Several of the others began chattering back and forth, flinging insults and crude comments as if they were blades, certainly meant to sting and harm whoever they'd been thrown at. This continued for a while. Long enough that their quarry had time to gain consciousness. A hush fell over the crowd and all eyes fell on the Sun Seeker; something that he'd find himself quite fond of in due time.

"How is he, ya think?"

"Can't be more than a kid."

"Nah, early twenties. Easy."

"Bit of a looker. Think we could sell 'em for a bit?"

"Doesn't look celibate at all t'me."

"That ain't what I meant ya fuckin' moron!"

"Too ragged to sell on the streets. When's the last time 'e shaved? We'll spend more money cleanin' 'im up than we'd get for him around here."

"Ship 'im off to Ul'dah then? 'Least he won't be tryna take out marks anymore."

"With what money?"

"We could give 'em the ol' Maelstrom overcoat."

There was a heavy silence then. It wasn't clear which of the thieves had said it in the dingy old shack, tucked away deep within the recesses of Limsa. A single light illuminated the room, swinging back and forth to keep the majority of those gathered in the shadows. It didn't really matter thanks to the fact that they were all masked or covered in some way. The more well-to-do, or at least higher ranked members, had actual masks. Lower ranked, at least the Miqo'te assumed, had scarfs and cloth and whatever they could piece together to hide their faces.

He hadn't actually understood what they were bickering about. Eorzean was never his first language. But he did understand context, and the silence that fell over the room was all he needed to know.

"Oooohhh 'e didn't like that."

"Not many people do. How many bodies you think are down there?"

"We could arrange for ya t'go down there an' find out yourself."

"Don't bother. He'll be followin' soon enough anyway. The cat bit him while 'e was tryna tie him up. 'e howled like a baby!"

Laughter ensued, followed by more insults and a few slung fists. But they all went quiet when one of the more wiry individuals knelt down to the Miqo'te. His outfit was.. well. Extravagant wasn't the word, seeing that they were all down on their luck. But it had less patches. Less stitching required. Less dirt and less grime, which wasn't saying much all things considered.

He gripped at the Seeker's jaw. Turned him this way and that. Used a thumb to assess his teeth and gums to ensure he at least had most of them, and was quite surprised to find that he had them all.

"Can. You. Speak?" The man asked. The Seeker spit in return. The room laughed.

"He understands us at least. Can't speak it yet. But it ain't like we can't teach him. Let him go."

The men did just that. But they had underestimated precisely how fast the Seeker was. They didn't expect him to nab another's blade and fling it at their supposed leader. Why the Miqo'te had done it outside of lashing out at those more of a direct threat was anyone's guess, but it didn't matter. The blade never met its target and the Seeker found himself pressed back against the ground, growling and snarling and struggling against his captors once more.

There was intrigue before, but now that interest had piqued. The leader found himself kneeling before the Seeker once more, careless of the fact that a blade had just missed his his face by a few ilms.

"You're shit with a blade, but we can teach you that too. What's your name?"

"Oi, boss. I think 'e wants t'be called Val."

The dagger had missed the man and embedded in the world map behind him, right on the Isle of Val.

----------------------------------------------------------------

And he'd been called that ever since; a name that stuck with him despite it being nowhere near his true name. Only one person within the civilized world knew that, and he preferred to keep it that way. The Seeker's meditation ended and he stood from his spot, letting the flames dance about along his fingers. He'd managed to ease the gates of the chakra open when needed, sending that aether and anger precisely where it needed to be.

He'd come a long way since then. He learned how to use a dagger; it'd become one of his favorite weapons, even. He learned enough Eorzean to get by. Larger words were still hard, but it was easy enough to spin the narrative into making people think he was dumb and illiterate. He learned comradery. What it was like to live in the larger city. What was expected of him and, when the time came, how to exist on his own. He owed a lot to that group of thieves, and a part of him sometimes wondered what ever became of them after they parted ways. Or where he'd be if he hadn't tried to nab from them. Who would have thought that a box of fruit would alter the course of one's life so much?

[crimeronan]

So I THINK I know already.. but which songs on the Princess Luz playlist are about Hunter?

i've got so many OC asks to answer but i am so slepby and i'm a sucker for music so i reply 2 this quastion instead. i don't think i actually even posted the playlist over here so here it is. that girl sure can sad. sorry for making your life suck so bad luz i swear i love you so much

anyway. u probably DO know, it's pretty obvious what songs are about hunter versus belos versus luz's self-hatred. but i will give u the names and most relevant bits of the lyrics because i FUCKIN LOVE ME A GOOD CODEPENDENCY TRAUMA SONG WITH POETIC NONSENSE LET'S GOOOO WOOOOOO

people who haven't read the main fic can glean at least some of the vibes from these snatches of lyrics probably. sorry for making everything edgy horror about sad people. i will do it again.

gun in my hand - dorothy

why did love put a knife in my heart in my bed, in my head, in my heart was it for redemption or was it for revenge? was it for the bottle? was it for the ledge? was it for the thrill of pushing my hope to the edge?

chasing twisters - delta rae

i lost hope when i was still so young had an angel on my shoulder but the devil always won (...) feel the lives that i have taken, what little soul that i have left and oh, my God, i'll take you to the grave the only love i've ever known, the only soul i ever saved

frozen - within temptation

i can feel your sorrow, i sacrifice you won't forgive me but i know it'll be all right it tears me apart that you will never know but i have to let go tell me i'm frozen but what can i do? can't tell the reasons i did it for you

politics of love - rise against

i hear your voice in the wind it follows me, it cuts right through the noise as we spin on dance floors made of ice so rest your hand in mine steady now, ignore the sound of breaking lines the cracks beneath our feet as time runs out

heavy in your arms - florence + the machine

are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine? who is the betrayer, who's the killer in the crowd the one who creeps in corridors and doesn't make a sound my love has concrete feet, my love is an iron ball wrapped around your ankles over the waterfall

ship to wreck - florence + the machine

don't let the curtain catch you 'cause you've been here before the chair is an island, darling, you can't touch the floor and oh, my love, remind me, what was it that i said? i can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed and oh, my love, remind me, what was it that i did? did i drink too much? am i losing touch? did i build this ship to wreck?

close to heaven - breaking benjamin

hate, lost inside, i dare to dream, faithless lies caught in the web, i will face the weak within so i'll stay unforgiven and i'll keep love together and i'll be yours forever, i'll sleep close to heaven i'm coming home, i'm coming home, i'm coming home

[findyourrp]

Hello, hello!

So getting right into this, I am a 18+M looking for other people above the age of 18. If asked in dms I will give my exact age. I will lay out everything shortly so that we can get straight to the point and not waste either of our times!

• Looking for MxF (me as M) or MxM(though preferable MxF simply because I like more feminine characters. That or pack it up and give your M character a skirt. It's one or the other😏) I love FxF only for double ups to be honest.

• I'm certainly not doing oc x cc with me as the cc unless it's a double.

•something I'd like is the usage of the canon characters. I love worldbuilding, I love character building and if we use canon characters even if it's in the background, it *enhances* that. Even if you only use 3 canon characters while I use 11, I don't care. Don't get it twisted it's not NECCESARY but could be nice. Ignore this if it's a fandomless roleplay.

• Literacy! I'm extremely adaptive but at minimum I ask you do two paragraphs so I have something to work with. Alongside this have some good grammar. I'm not a grammar nazi for wanting to understand your sentences. If your first language is not english that's fine because it's not mine either! We can help eachother for all I care.

• I am extremely patient but do not dm me if you will be responding only two times a week. I get super invested in a roleplay and it is painful to want more but have to wait a millenia for your response. I am a busy person as well but c'mon. Though if you tell me in advance you'll be busy I'll probably be a lot more lenient.

• Mostly want something with romance. Not opposed to alll the other genres, romance is boring if it's just that. But that's mainly what I want. I want two hot people to fall in love.

• If you are not into talking ooc we won't mesh well. This isn't a business transaction and while we don't need to be full on friends I atleast want some communication between us.

• You get many many points if you gush about the show, ships or anything with me! Pinterest boards who? Spotify playlists?? Edits? Chefs kiss. You don't need to make em because I sure as shit will. Point is, have fun!

• will only roleplay through discord

• Last thing. Real FCs are a heavy preference, all of my fandoms are TV shows and I can't imagine an animated character with fuckin' Jenna ortega. I don't mind helping you find a FC, but I will not roleplay with piccrew. I can maybe be convinced into using an animated fc especially if it's an animated show but otherwise oof.

NOW. FOR MY FANDOMS!

Love & Death

Wednesday

Cobra Kai

Stranger things

Ratched

The babysitter(both)

Oh Ramona!

YOU

Daybreak

Rocky

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World(TV show and movie)

Barbie

.

[human-antithesis]

Rosetta Stoned

Alright then, picture this if you will: 10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51. Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing with just a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping… Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa, Did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way, Like an apparition, He had me crying out, "Fuck me. It's gotta be Deadhead Chemistry. The blotter got right on top of me. Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.

You'd better… You'd better… You'd better… You'd better listen

Then he looked right through me With somniferous almond eyes. Don't even know what that means Must remember to write it down. This is so real. Like the time Dave floated away. See my heart is pounding, 'Cause this shit never happens to me.

Can't breathe, right now! It was so real. Like I woke up in Wonderland. All sort of terrifying. I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story. And can anyone tell me why You all sound like Peanuts parents Will I ever be coming down? This is so real. Finally it's my lucky day. See my heart is racing, 'Cause this shit never happens to me.

Can't breathe, right now!

You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said, see the Dead ain't touring. And this wasn't all in my head. See they took me by the hand and invited me right in, Then they showed me something. I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down my bed. Feet cold and eyes red. I'm out my head. Am I alive, am I dead? Can't remember what they said. God damn. Shit the bed!

High… I I I I I… high… I I I I I High [Repeated]

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the one. Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending To write it down for all the world to see. But I forgot my pen, Shit the bed again, Typical.

Strapped down my bed. Feet cold and eyes red. I'm out my head. Am I alive, am I dead? Sunkist and Sudafed, Gyroscopes and infrared. Won't help, brain dead. Can't remember what they said. God damn. Shit the bed!

I can't remember what they said to me. Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero! Can't remember what they said.

Bob help me. Can't remember what they said.

Don't know. Won't know. [Repeated]

God damn. Shit the bed!

[vent-for-peace]

I must say, it feels nostalgic...

I'm not sure why, maybe i have healed after so long, who knows, maybe i'm just a little twisted... although, i wouldn't mind the latter. I do wait patiently for the first time in my life i get to enact revenge and tear someone apart

I always thought of revenge on them after what happened, i always thought "you better thank your lord and saviour that i can't reach you without making a fool of myself, otherwise the law would know where to look around if they want to disappear too", i genuinely thought of such things and to tell you the truth i regret nothing... well, except for the irresponsibility, i acknowledge it and hold myself accountable for it and have improved, but it could've been better and less... well, you know~

But now i can't seem to take it seriously like i used to! What happened to the resentment?? The anger, the lust for blood?? The desire to feast on their flesh?? The desire to leave my message to whoever crosses my path??? Where is it??

I guess i may have healed! Haha! Yes the speech about how my hunger for revenge suddenly disappeared is exaggerated. I'm not one for that kind of drama, and i never will... anyway!

Now i occasionally have these random thoughts of putting people even remotely related to them hostage, and spouting things like "i'm putting your bag of Cheetos at gunpoint, now sing that song for me!", "Hey i shot your foot, you should act like it lol", "i shot your fuckin' Cheetos, apologize or the Sprite is next!" And so and so... very silly yet violent things, i even laughed at these one time. They sounded so silly, i couldn't take it seriously from how goofy i made it sound! Seriously, "i shot your fuckin' Cheetos!"??? Come on, that's goofy, admit it!

I guess i've healed, because i can't take it seriously anymore! How funky is that?! I made some dumb trauma funny for me and now i can't see it as anything else other than a joke! Hahaha!

Haha! Ha! Hahaha..! Haha... ha... heh... hm... and now i feel somber, no longer goofy and full of whimsy... now i feel like i'm mourning, mourning something that doesn't deserve to be mourned or missed...

What's with the bipolarity now?? I guess it's a heavy yet strange yet important part of my life and it's expressed in my duality, my sudden jumps from one side to the other side of the spectrum of emotions, it's one after another in this matter whenever the moment calls for it... it's a strange thing about me that i honestly find intriguing, i will not lie... i should look into this further and further~

It feels nostalgic, like a fond memory- no, genuinely, i remember it strangely fondly now! It's weird! Haha! It feels very nostalgic, like i'm remembering the first time i've had true fun in my school, true laughs, i've felt my kind of happiness in the place where everything clashes so hard, everything shatters and rebuilds, over and over and over again... see? First i'm silly and goofy, and then i'm somber and deep. I bet you my remaining impulse control that at some point in this post i will get angry then sad then crack a joke all over again!

I guess what i'm trying to say is... i may have healed, because now it feels like a fond memory that still gets me to giggle...

I won't tag this with any tags that may guarantee people of that community to find this, i have respect and manners, i know it's wrong because i have that feeling it's not something people would want to encounter when looking for pictures of their favorite characters or a character they feel romantic desire for... yes, i'm part of the latter, that man-made god has stolen my heart and i couldn't be happier for it, haha!

See? There's that quirk again! Hahaha! Now it's making me laugh too! It's so entertaining right now! Right, moving on!

If anyone does find this (i doubt it, being honest), just know i'm not making a stance or anything like that, i'm just... venting, i guess! It sounds too cheery and such to be a vent, but who knows? Indians have made it to the moon, anything is possible!

And if, somehow, by probably pure magic and chance, that person finds this... know this...

I'm sorry for what you've been through and that i hope it gets better for you.

I'm sorry you are flawed and broken, and treated like nothing more than what your actions spoke. I've been there before, i know what it's like, you put me through it, so i can only wish you good luck on your journey to healing and moving on from this madness that although you yourself have caused... it was truly never meant to be, you truly didn't mean no harm and i can see it in your final response. I'm sorry for the hurt they have caused you, you also deserve better.

If we were all alone in a forest, camping... i'd definetly set a campfire and relax with you in the warmth of the fire. We both need it and deserve it. You need it and deserve it.

See you on the flipside, if it's meant to be.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

yeah. pretty dumb and anticlimactic as far as endings would go. generally, i think this just comes from romanticized fantasies about seeing homelander 'subjugated' and 'controlled' but there in lies the flaw with the thinking.

*human beings*, just *fundamentally*, are not *MEANT* to be 'subjugated' or 'controlled', typically if they are aware of an attempt to do this, they are not happy with it and it *DEF* can't be something forced on someone without *MAJOR* consequences/resentment. homelander's been confirmed as someone who downright *hates* it, beyond a shadow of a doubt. over and over, he *rebels*, he's losing his fucking mind over it. but just any attempts to do so (especially disregarding consent cause there are some people who genuinely do like to give up control with *informed* consent, tho def outside of the sexual context too) do *not* end particularly well--just look at history. heads start to *roll*. it's a fuckin' trainwreck of repeated pattern with privileged, disconnected people thinking an entire population of tired and abused people won't... revolt. after being pushed too far.

*those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it*

butcher's actually an interesting play on this because he's *resigned* himself to it. he *is* the villain of his own story, masks out his ass 24/7, and is now lookin' for his final fix--without someone else to pull him off the strings? he's a complete *puppet* for his father and *everything* that man wants (and he equally hates that *butt* believes he has *no choice*, that *what* he was made to be is incapable of change...)

but i def don't think homie would 'resign' himself to it (he's not as self aware as butcher). it would more likely just become another thing that proves him "right" about humanity, a new reason to double down on how awful the species has been to him and how much he hates them. and OOF, yes, OUCH. absolutely?? this i think would def qualify as 'cruel and unusual' for him--not just cause it is literally 'unusual' lmao but because he'd be forced to *be* the *thing* that has tormented him literally all his life.

i think the thing people might not get is that homelander has an *incredible* amount of self *RESTRAINT* for the amount of power that he has. all of this? would be *gone* if he lost his powers--the assumption would be he has *no reason to hold back anymore*. in fact, he'd be given a valid (in his mind, but arguably--) enough reason to fully *LET GO*. he'd be *willing* to do much more and not care about it. he'd have to get creative and be much less *lazy* than he is currently--but let's just say he's *very* good at learning from those around him... the main mistake that people make with him is that they never believe him to be capable of *outgrowing* his proposed 'masters'

every single time. he is angered by this. and every single time... he *does*.

as a survivor of narcissistic abuse, consistent observer of it (especially on the normalized day to day bullshit, hard to ignore once you learn to spot it) and knowing first hand what a constant attempt to *control* other people does to them (one of two endings. suicide or rebellion with very little outside of that and certainly nothing good or particularly desired.)

had a sweet bean give me hope the other day<3<3<3

said that the writing is confirmed to be focused on two things:

making the characters feel as *human* as possible (emotional/irrational decisions and all lmfao they're disasters just like us~! XD)

heavy focus on getting mental health *RIGHT*.(i'm guessing with a possible specialist for analysis on site if not telling stigmas to just up and eat a fat dick, either way--FUCK TO THE YES!!)

and y'all, so encouraging<3 that means they're trying to *keep* not just the gritty complexities and rawness that made the characters so fun and intricate and *humanly* flawed in the comics, but that they're *not* planning to shit all over mental health like big big chunks of this fandom (and society in general, unfortunately), tend to do.

*AND* they've even already *proven* as much with the way they handled hughie's *mum*. for those that missed it, she was there to help hughie get some closure (along with a final conversation with his dad, that was gut wrenching but so needed for his arc and what i suspect may come...) and she was incredibly well made for depression and *humanizing* that disease.

she voluntarily hospitalized herself instead of sticking around her son while she was going through crisis, after she had attempted *suicide* to spare him from seeing that. and as fucking painful and difficult as that is, she absolutely did the right thing by leaving. as bad as she hurt hughie, imagine if that 6 year old baby boy had walked in on his mother's suicide--she *knew* that was a posibility and it fucking hurts...

i think the saddest part about it is that she did what she needed to, did the right thing, but it was still something that ultimately hurt the people she loved and of course it was going to. she even tried to reach out when she was getting help, but with things like depression, there's always the risk of relapse and just all this bad shit. i was ready to be as pissed as hughie, and the show did such an incredible job of humanizing this woman and making me understand her situation.

y'all, never ever *ever* blame someone for prioritizing their own mental health and *literal* life. that is a *horrifically* toxic, abusive, and ableist as fuck thing to do. mental health is hella important. people ain't just here for our entertainment and you should always take care of yourself and your life first. of course it helps that she may just be the most rational character on this whole damn show and i fucking love it--

'who the fuck are your friends??'

GOOD QUESTION--

'that man is... a piece of shit, dear'

YES~<3<3<3!!

to be honest, i have to say that some responses i've seen about her character are super discouraging and gross me the fuck out because they show on full blast the absolute privilege ignorance and ableism some people have--*and love to fucking FLAUNT*. but then ya gotta keep hopin' just like hughie lol<3

tangent aside, this still ain't a theme that's been explored through a well done or realistic lens that *doesn't* somehow pretend the powers are the source of homelander's problems or flat out assumes he could be happily placated through *involuntary* subjugation and *negated informed consent* (spoiler alert, they ain't and no he could not because that's not how *PEOPLE* work, and also literally just veiled rape kink that people refuse to tag leik--) so yeah, 'disneywashed' basically. but maybe it would be fun to see people forcibly disillusioned about that?

i can't say i'm not *not* looking forward to all the rage quitting that's to come, because it's... just a little bit funny to see the surprised pikachu faces people make LMFAO--!! altho my preferred ending is def gonna be that 'king nothing' approach that same certain sweet bean told me about~<3<3<3

Depowering Homelander is one of the dumbest and most narratively inconsistent pipe dreams in circulation of the fandom. Apart from compound V being so ingrained in Homelander's very DNA that it is literally coded into the swimmers his balls make meaning he would logically just die if he got that much of his literal DNA destroyed, it would solve nothing and teach worse as they've already established a million times over that the issue isn't nature, it's nurture. I don't get how people don't get this. They even used Kimiko as an example to show us that her powers were not the source of her troubles and losing them solved nothing for her.

The Boys also aims on making their writing as realistic as possible with zero chance of Disney delulu lala land nonsense, at least not without complete disillusionment. Which means that the possibility of Homelander being depowered wouldn't result in him becoming less volatile or dangerous, it would realistically make him so much worse. He'd evolve to being like Butcher but worse because of the added element of what he's lost and been turned into. I know this fandom has some major issues with ableism and self consciousness, but the way people just casually drop the idea of backing an already caged and highly aggressive animal into an even smaller corner like that isn't the most cruel and unusual fucked up and terrible thing you could do that is also hellbound for complete and utter apocalyptic failure in a series that would undoubtedly portray it as such so the people advocating for it would hate it anyway?

Hmm.

[kiridarling]

𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎.

katsuki bakugou | competitive sex + f!reader + pro hero!kats + hickeys + hair-pulling + ripping clothes + a surprise guest + more! minors dni.

— 1.8k words

"Text Shitty Deku we're gonna be little late."

“Katsuki. Hands off.”

The ash-blond sighs, grumbling like the petulant child he is before forcing his hands to his sides. Glaring at you through the mirror, he grunts, “Fuckin’ why.”

"Because I'm trying to get ready and you're in the way." You swat his hands away and reach for a brush, rolling your eyes when he ignores everything you just said in favor of hooking his chin around your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist. You shrug him off, "Now move."

In your defense, you've been pushed to your limit.

You two are already late enough for the Gala as it is, you know, the one that's exclusively for pro heroes. And yet, for some reason, today's the day your boyfriend's brain seems to be in his dick.

Katsuki digs his teeth into your neck, hard enough to make you whimper before you rip his head away by the strands of his hair. He growls in frustration, the grip on your waist ever-tightening.

"Y'know...if people saw the type of shit you pull in private, they'd think you were the aggressive one."

"You let me get away with it," you respond absentmindedly, leaning towards the mirror until the cool from the counter presses into your gut. Mistake.

"Right. I've been too fuckin' soft, huh?" Katsuki says more to himself than to you before he's forcing you over the sink with a heavy hand on your back; the metal from the faucet knocks you in the collarbone. "That shit changes today."

"I—Kats, we don't have ti—" but the indisputable sound of ripping cloth bounces off your bathroom walls, and the addition of cool air brushing your inner thighs implies precisely what you hope he didn't just do.

His phone clatters on the counter before he's nudging your legs wider, nestling between them, and settling on his knees.

"Text Shitty Deku we're gonna be late."

"Katsuki Bakugou, did you just rip my fucking stockings?" You howl, grip tightening around the marble countertop in fury. Katsuki growls, delivering a heavy slap to your ass.

"I said fuckin' text him."

Your chest rises and falls with indignance, and yet you're punching in the code to his phone anyway, telling Izuku to reserve two spots at the table next to him because you two won't be able to do it yourselves.

"D'ya send it?" Katsuki asks, having a blast as he kneads your exposed ass to the point where it's sore. You nod, dropping the six-by-four box onto the countertop in resignation, and the ash-blond's chest rumbles at that, hand disappearing only to crack back down twice as hard. "Good girl."

Pushing your panties to the side, Katsuki wastes no time in sliding in his finger to the first knuckle, grinning when you shudder against him. You squeal as his teeth graze your inner thigh, and he hikes your knee onto the couch, dismissing how much you complain about the burn.

"What? Can't get a better view?" He growls, cheeky bastard, before he's sucking a hickey into your thigh because he knows you like it and pushing his finger in the rest of the way. You narrow your eyes, glaring at the small sliver of his smug face you can actually see in the mirror—and he's quickly filling you with a second finger, chuckling at your moan.

"You shouldn't have a view in the first place," you grumble, insistent on standing your ground. "You should be viewing the road because we're supposed to be driving right now."

"That's a real fuckin' pity then," Katsuki responds apathetically, lips pink as he moves to suck another hickey—closer to the apex of your thighs this time. You whimper as he scissors his fingers and passes a messy thumb over your clit, hips burning from holding this position for so long. With a final lick, Katsuki pulls away from his third or fourth mark (you're not too sure) and smacks his lips. "On the sink."

"On the c—Katsuki we have to g—wah!"

Katsuki takes it upon himself to hook his arms under your thighs and hoist you onto the cool thing, sending all miscellaneous bathroom items flying. You sigh, accepting the fact that you're probably not going to make it out of the house tonight as your back kisses the freezing glass, and Katsuki pushes your knees as far back as they'll go.

He curls a lip, and then he spits, getting saliva all over your pussy and thighs, and it's wholly and utterly lewd. And yet, you bite your lip at the feeling, and he grins, knowing you like it just as much as you'll say you hate it.

"You're a fuckin' dirty girl, y'know that?" Katsuki's eyes go dark. You huff, threading a hand through his ash-blond locks to tug—and you're the one grinning when he moans.

"I'm not the one who's making us skip a mandatory gala to get his dick wet," you quip with a raised eyebrow, and your hand never leaves his hair. "Am I?"

Katsuki growls with a curled lip, but you know better, and so does the clammy grip on your thigh. You tug on his hair again, and suddenly you're full of him, yelping in surprise as your arms scramble for his back for better purchase instead.

"What was that?" He asks breathily, hiding a groan behind a bitten lip. You're just thankful he's giving you time to adjust, or so you think, until he almost pulls out entirely before his hips snap forwards as hard as they can, knocking your spine into the mirror and a bottle of lotion onto the floor.

You moan, hands searching for his hair again because you know it's one of the only things that will provide a one-up—Katsuki bares his teeth at that, bending over to suck a mark into your neck and his hips continue to fuck you into tomorrow.

"You fit like a goddamn glove," Katsuki wheezes, the grip he has around your stocking-covered thigh edging on bruising. "So tight around me—fuck—"

"K-Kats—" you grapple for his dress shirt so hard it tears, causing you to crash against the counter and make more of a mess that's already been made. The ash-blond's hips don't do anything but speed up though, filling you to the point where a deep breath feels like too much.

"Fuck baby, you're so goddamn needy," Katsuki grabs your attention by your jaw with a gritty chuckle, "But this shit's only for me, ain't it? 'Cause you're fuckin' mine."

You whimper with a nod, nails latching onto hot and sticky skin now. Katsuki hisses as they rake down his back, but that only makes you want to dig in harder.

"Fuckin' say it—tell me you're mine and no one else's," he challenges with a glint in his carmine red eyes, and something in your gut churns underneath it. Something painfully primal and raw, which has you howling out:

"'M yours, only yours!"

You jolt when his thumb returns to your clit and refuses to let up. Katsuki growls at that, somehow finding the stamina to speed up—and gripping your shoulder for leverage. You moan, eyes fluttering as his cock reaches the deepest it has tonight, and you’re sure Katsuki can tell as well if his curse is anything to go by.

Ring, ring! Ring ring!

Surprisingly, Katsuki's phone survived the purge and still sits on the counter, albeit teetering on the edge of absolute destruction. The ash-blond catches it before it falls and has the nerve to swipe right, not allowing you to fit in an objection or any say in this at all.

"The fuck do you want, Deku?" He grunts, putting the phone on speaker before he sets it back down. You eep in protest, but all he does is mouth the words quiet, baby. So you're huff, biting onto the meat of your palm for extra precaution.

"Um, Kacchan? Where are you guys?" The greenette's voice echoes off the bathroom walls to the point where it's nearly comical how clueless he is, and yet Katsuki refuses to slow down. "People are starting to ask when you're getting here..."

"Not fuckin' goin'," Katsuki's sweat drips from his brow onto your chest, and all of a sudden, you're aware of how painfully close you are, but hold back in fear of making too much noise. Izuku sighs through the phone, and you can feel his disappointment from here.

"I—Kacchan, you can't just opt out of these things, you know," Izuku says, echoing your words from earlier. "Mandatory means you have to attend."

"Yeah, well, I got better shit to do, Deku," the ash-blond spits, though he's grinning like the devil because the asshole knows you're close, he can just tell at this point, and you hate how well he knows your body.

"It doesn't matter if you don't want to go, Kacchan!" The pro-hero shrills, voice peaking out of pure frustration. "This is mandatory. As in, M-A-N-D-A-T—"

Katsuki hangs up.

"Why is everyone so goddamn mouthy these days?" He grunts, primarily to himself, and somehow you have the will to giggle. Katsuki's eyebrows furrow as you tighten around him, spurred when the head of his cock nudges the perfect spot, and his nails start to tear into what's left of your stockings as he shudders, "I—fuck baby, I'm gonna cum."

"What? Being on the phone with Izuku got you all riled up or something?" You jest breathily, and Katsuki growls, slapping your outer thigh.

"Don't fuckin' bring the nerd up right now," he wheezes, and you resist the urge to quip back—mainly because you're close yourself. You reach to pull Katsuki's hair again and his hips stutter, eyes fluttering with a breathy moan as he finally fills you up, keening over to dig his teeth into your neck. And his orgasm is only the catalyst for your own, thumping your hands against his chest as your body ignites like a live wire, toes curling and eyes screwed shut.

Katsuki stays seated in you as he catches his breath, head resting on the cool mirror with his ash-blond hair mattes brown to his forehead. He's always uncharacteristically soft while basking in his afterglow, face and chest flushed bright red from exertion as his eyes soften in a way he rarely lets them.

"You good?" He pants, chest still heaving as he blinks down at your exhausted figure. Somehow, you find the energy to nod.

"I don't feel like leaving anymore, though," you declare towards the ceiling. Katsuki clicks his tongue.

"Was hopin' you'd say that," he says gruffly—you narrow your eyes but bite your tongue. "Wanna watch a movie?"

A movie doesn't sound...bad.

You sigh in defeat (again), though jolting when Katsuki's phone rings. He quickly presses red, and 9 missed calls from shitty fucking deku is the first notification on his home screen. You two share a look—the ash-blond shrugs.

"What? I told the fucker I had better shit to do."

wrote this for a friends bday and i was like,,,i guess i could put it here too...

[teruthecreator]

Krerdly really is just that one post of someone telling their crush to leave town

okay yes True and this joke has been made a lot of times i feel like, but consider the possibilities of: kris having a weird little crush that they can't quite figure out so they just start trying to repel berdly away (bc that'll definitely work right???)

like. bc we already know that kris has a history of pulling kind of intense pranks on the people they care abt through them and noelle's history. now just imagine those pranks turned up to 11 bc kris is doing the mental math of "okay if i'm This much a freak then he'll obviously keep his distance and whatever my body is doing when he sits next to me at lunch will just Stop and i won't have to think about it anymore". but also all of their pranks absolutely backfire bc berdly, resident autismpilled gamer, is Dogshit at deciphering social cues and what is meant as malicious vs. kind

like berdly comes into class and sees his entire desk is filled with moss. but he just looks like "oh boy!!! someone's left me a mid-class snack!!! how generous!!!" and kris is at their seat thunking their head against the desk bc god fucking damnit he was supposed to hate it and throw it out so then I could eat it for lunch. next prank kris hides in the bookshelf at the librarby until berdly's shift and then jumps out and scares the shit out of him, but all berdly does is squawk about "library safety" and then mumbles a very quick thanks for "waking him up" before retreating to his volunteer's desk.

it gets to a point where kris spends more time thinking of pranks for berdly than they do think about the people they Want to hang out with. and people Notice too. like noelle sees kris rigging a fake-spider trap above berdly's desk and is like "um, kris? aren't you, y'know...taking this a little too...seriously? you could just ignore him" and kris just brushes her off bc Obviously she doesn't get it. then susie corners them after school like "bro this is the third week you've ditched coming to the dark world with me so you can follow berdly back to his house and turn his internet off. what's your fuckin' deal with him anyway???? just tell him to fuck off and stop being, like...weird about it." which is when kris has an intervention-style Ah Shit moment and hides in their bedroom for the weekend

like i Enjoy the trope of berdly being the one fumbling through his feelings, but isn't it so much more believable for both of them to??? kris is clearly not well-versed in their own emotional vocabulary. when attempting to give susie advice on the ferris wheel (through soul-magic-manipulation, but still making an honest attempt), both of their options were very....not-emotions-heavy. i think they're both sheltered in very different ways:

berdly is socially sheltered, in the way that he hasn't experienced a lot of complex social situations (due to a fair number of things, one of the most obvious being the "jerky smart kid" which is a front he's put on to keep people away, but is also possibly due to a lack of a strong support system at home that would encourage him to do more with his peers). this makes him a lot less capable of deciphering common social cues (i.e., when someone doesn't want him around, when someone's being sarcastic, etc.) which can extend to his emotions when those things collide (the most obvious canonical examples are the Two Times berdly misinterprets "being nice" as someone having a crush on him).

meanwhile, kris is emotionally sheltered. i think this is partially due to their nature (in canon, they've always seemed to be the weird/quiet kid), but it can also be a result of growing up as a kind of outsider. being The Only Human in a monster community must be very difficult! especially when it comes to family. there are just things they'll Never understand, even if they've been exposed to the culture for their entire life. i also think the divorce and asriel moving away has something to due with the emotional ineptitude--when children have to deal with divorce at an older age, it can often be harder because you have more memories/stakes with the family dynamic in its current state (as opposed to when you're younger or even a baby because you have no real memory of that kind of "normal"). this might've caused kris to pull back to protect themselves, and asriel moving away only made it worse.

so what does this culminate in for them both? well, for one, therapy. but also! i think it creates a very awkward "will they, won't they" situation as the two bounce closer and closer together before the inevitable collision that leads to "AH FUCK I HAVE A CRUSH ON THIS PERSON" and then it takes Even Longer for a confession and susie and noelle are quite literally slamming their heads into a concrete wall trying to get their respective besties to just TALK ABOUT IT ALREADY

anyways those are my thoughts on the thing LMAO feel free to enable me further

[ticketstomydaydreams]

5:3666

(All We Have: Part Two)

Part One

Colson x Female Reader

Summary: You and Colson fall into a night time studio routine when he starts keeping you company through your insomnia and you decide to work though some past demons

Word count: 3,200 (ish, I lost count editing)

Feels: Fluff with a dash of past trauma

Warnings: Drug & alcohol consumption, domestic violence, cursing, Colson being so sweet it almost makes your teeth hurt

Companion playlist:

Machine Gun Kelly - 5:3666

Warren Zevon - I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

The Vamps - All Night

Halsey - You Should Be Sad

A/N: If you've been affected by anything in this story, please know you're not alone. My inbox is always open and I'm all ears 🖤

______

During the first couple of weeks of moving in, you’d been partying A LOT. The guys wanted to show you just how mad it got, breaking you into their chaotic household, blending the days together. Everyone was hyper and the house was buzzing with energy. You'd been so exhausted from all of it that you'd been all but passing out each night, but you couldn’t lie, it was great fun.

You’d tried to pass on a few nights but Colson would never hear of it, often forcing you out of your room to get involved as the house was filled with people, jam sessions taking place in between drinking games. It was a far cry from your usual homelife, your last housemate mainly kept to themselves so your place was normally pretty chilled. Colson had used your place as a quiet escape over the years, but it seemed you wouldn’t have the same set up extended to you here with this lot.

With the pandemic unfolding, the house had started getting quieter, less people in and out every night and everyone was settling into a lazier way of life. The gang were mooching around the house throughout the day and while the house was still lively at night, it wasn’t quite the party central you’d almost started getting used to. Your normal working routine went out the window as everyone had started working from home mainly and without your daily routine, followed by nights out partying, your insomnia was back with full force.

______

You were lying in your bed, trying to force sleep on yourself but after trying to nod off for a couple of hours, you accepted defeat and got back up. Throwing some sweats on and one of Colson’s huge hoodies (you’d been slowly sneaking them out of his closet, finding that the masses of material drowning your small frame were super comforting), you headed down to the kitchen, turned the stove on and filled the kettle up. You were scrolling through your phone when you heard footsteps on the tiled floor. Colson strolled into the kitchen looking disheveled in a white tank top and boxer shorts, hair ruffled and looking sleepy

“Dude, it’s 3am how come you’re up?”

“Couldn’t sleep, living that oh so fun insomnia life again” you sighed “Did I wake you?”

“Nah, I was already awake. Couldn’t sleep either and heard someone moving about so thought I’d come down” He replied, climbing onto one of the breakfast stools

“Yeah, I think it’s not having much of a routine. Hate lying in bed staring at the ceiling so just got up. You want a cup?” you offered, pointing to the chamomile tea you were brewing

“Sure, thanks” he says, taking the steaming mug from you

You sit down at the breakfast bar with him and start chatting, scrolling through instagram as you do. After about an hour, as you’re talking about an article you’re reading, you notice Colson doesn’t respond and you look to your right and see he’s fallen asleep, leaning on his hand, his mouth slightly ajar.

“Hey, sleeping beauty” you whisper, rubbing his back with your hand “Go to bed”

He slightly jolts at your touch, opening his eyes “Nah man, I’m keeping you company”

“Some company” you laugh softly “pretty sure you just slept through all my rambling there”

He leans against your shoulder, closing his eyes again “Hey, at least you’re not sitting here alone. That’s something right?”

“That’s true” you smile, leaning your head against his “You’re very appreciated, do you know that”

You gently push him upright and stand up “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m pretty tired myself, so you’ve definitely helped”

He’s laid his head down on his arm on the counter, his breathing getting heavy immediately so you pull his other hand making him stand up. He stands up and puts his arm around your shoulder as you walk towards the stairs, your legs feeling heavy as you climb each step, carrying some of Colson’s weight as he sleepily walks with you

Once you’re standing outside your bedroom doors, he pulls you in for a hug

“Night kid, don’t be wandering around bored if you can’t sleep yeah? Just come get me. Nothing worse than sitting up alone at night…”

“Will do. Thanks Col” You squeeze him a bit tighter as he kisses the top of your head

“Night” you smile, as he let’s you go and turns and heads into his room, waving his hand up behind him

Undressing and crawling into bed, your eyes feel heavy as your head hits the pillow. Colson was right, insomnia was a much less lonely experience with a friend.

______

Of course, as is always the way after your sleepless nights, you sleep in super late the following day meaning the cycle continues and you find yourself wide awake as the witching hour approaches. Feeling restless in your bedroom, you get up, and decide to head downstairs and out into the studio because you figure you might as well put this time to good use. You settle into a chair with your acoustic guitar and started playing, stopping and starting as you figure out a melody, working your latest lyrics in with it

“I wanna start this out and say, I gotta get it off my chest. Got no anger, got no malice…”

“I thought I told you to come get me if you couldn’t sleep”

You almost drop your guitar as you hear Colson’s voice behind you, “Jesus, how are you such an enormous human but you still manage to creep up on me all the time?”

“Just a stealthy motherfucker I guess” He laughs, flopping into the chair next to you

“Whatcha working on? That sounded sweet, keep playing…”

Colson knows you sometimes get a bit self-conscious with people watching you sing, so he lights his joint, rests his head on his hand and closes his eyes. You smile as you see what he's doing, thankful he always understands what you're like.

You turn back to your notepad, reading over your lyric outline quickly before repositioning the guitar in your lap and resetting the metronome

___

‘I wanna start this out and say, I gotta get it off my chest

Got no anger, got no malice, Just a little bit of regret

No, nobody else will tell you, so there's some things I gotta say

Gonna jot it down and then get it out and then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs, and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothing unless there's something in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry, I feel so sad

I tried to help you, it just made you mad

And I had no warning about who you are

I'm just glad I made it out without breaking down

And then ran so fuckin' far, that you would never ever touch me again

Won't see your alligator tears

'Cause, no, I've had enough of them’

___

“Man, that was beautiful Y/N. I got some chills right there…You just wrote that?”

“Nah, it’s something I dug up from ‘back then’. Been going through some old lyrics and samples while we’ve got all this time on our hands. It’s kinda cathartic to go over some of that stuff now there’s a bit more distance you know”

______

A couple of years ago, you’d been stuck in a really toxic relationship with your ex, Stevie. Your time with him had been a tornado of arguments, drugs and the constant heartache of him cheating on you. Every time you’d get close to having the strength to leave, you’d always cave in and the mess would continue with you losing a bit of yourself each time you stayed. You’d become pretty used to his violent outbursts, he had always been controlling and short tempered, often pushing you and throwing stuff around your apartment. Despite his own frequent infidelity, he flew into a jealous rage with you constantly.

He’d always hated Colson, despite him being one of your best friends, and while he’d play nice to his face you’d always get it in the neck once you were alone about how you and Colson were ‘too close’ and he ‘didn’t trust him’. Before that final night you’d spent with him, things had been pretty good with the two of you for a few weeks, there hadn’t been much drama and so you hadn’t thought too much of inviting him out with you and the gang for a night out clubbing. Your good run had clearly come to an end, when you felt his hand grab your arm tightly and drag you off the dancefloor where you’d been dancing with Colson. You’d been bundled into an uber so quickly, you hadn’t even managed to get your handbag from inside. You saw Colson running out of the club, followed by Rook and Slim who was holding your bag, as the cab pulled away.

Once you were back at the apartment, he flew into a rage. You’d never seen him this bad before, his eyes were dark and when you tried to argue back, calling his jealousy ‘pathetic’ he snapped. He’d grabbed you by the throat and slammed you against the wall, “Don’t you ever disrespect me like that again” he’d spat in your face, before striking you so hard with his fist that the skin across your cheek split open. It was as if his actions had knocked him back to reality, he’d let go of you and you ran to your bedroom, locked the door behind you and started packing a bag. He hammered on the door, begging you to open it and you could hear that he was crying. You looked around for your phone before you remembered you’d left it at the club. Desperate to get away, you opened your laptop and brought up instagram, managing to send Colson a message asking him to send you an uber to his house straight away. You’d thrown your laptop and a few more bits in your bag, the battery dying before you had a chance to wait for a reply, before pulling the bedroom door open and barging past Stevie. He’d tried to grab you, but you’d finally had enough “Never fucking touch me again” you spat, pushing him off you. The hatred in your voice rooted him to the spot and he said nothing as you walked out, the door slamming behind you.

Once you were outside the apartment building, the reality of what had just happened and the situation you were in started to wash over you. You had no phone, no wallet, your laptop was dead. Just as you were starting to seriously panic, an uber pulled up and Colson had leapt out of the backseat. You’d been in total shock and had just let Colson guide you into the cab and then out into his house, up to his room. He didn’t say anything as he led you to his bathroom and lifted you up onto the counter. He grabbed a flannel and soaked it with warm water, rinsing it out before pressing it softly against the cut on your cheek, gently wiping away the blood that had mixed with your mascara laced tears. The tenderness of his actions was almost too much and you started to sob again.

“Hey, hey. Y/N, look at me” he said softly, lifting your chin so you looked at him, his blue eyes misty themselves “It’s okay, you’re safe here. Don’t move, I’ll be back in a sec”

He left the bathroom and returned with a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Putting them on the counter next to you, he crouched down and undid the straps on your heels, slipping them off your feet and then helping you down from the counter. “I’ll leave you to change”

When you came out of the bathroom, Colson was lying in his bed “Come here” he said, holding his arm and beckoning into his side. You crawled under the covers next to him and snuggled into him, his long arms wrapping around you.

“Col…” you said quietly

“Yeah?” he whispered back, stroking your hair off your forehead

“Thank you…”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ve always got you Y/N”

______

“I hated that fucking guy. That night...I wanted to kill him after what he’d done to you”

You see him tense up at the memory and you lean over and squeeze his knee “You’re such an amazing friend, do you know that. I don’t know what I would’ve done that night without you”

"You're a fucking warrior Y/N, you'd have handled your shit. I was just happy you trusted me enough to let me be there for you. You deserve so much better than that" he says, covering the hand you'd placed on his knee with his, staring you in the eyes and returning the smile that's crept across your face

"You know there's been a few punches I've wanted to dole out on behalf of you over the years, but you've never let me" you tell him

"Too right I'd never let you. I never want you in the drama, you're too good for getting caught up in that shit" he replies, pointing at you with mock sternness

"Hey" he says, seeing your expression wash over with a tint of sadness "At least the sleepless nights aren't what they were then…

… If we're gonna work through some old demons this lockdown, I'm sure I've got some songs and lyrics that have never seen the light of day" He reaches over the desk and pulls his laptop towards him "You've inspired me… "

"Oh no, are we gonna fuck our heads up with this?" you joke nervously, worrying that Colson's going to delve into something that's going to upset him

"Nah, I got you covered and you got me, right?"

"True dat" you say, as he holds his fist out so you can fistbump, his eyes now focused on his laptop screen

______

You felt kinda bad, having kept Colson up all night with you the last two nights, especially as you'd got him reminiscing about some tough memories, so tonight you tried to sneak past his room when your restlessness got the better of you.

"Nice try kid!" Colson says as he throws his bedroom door open, causing you to yelp in fright. standing there topless with his sweatpants hung low in his hips, he lights the joint hanging from his mouth "I told you we were in this together now"

"I felt bad, making you stay up with me"

"You didn't make me do shit…Wait a sec, let me find a hoodie. If I have any left in here…" he says, giving a pointed look towards the huge blue hoodie you were wrapped in before walking back into his room and rummaging through his drawers

"Oh shush, you have like a hundred…"

"Right come on" he says, pulling a pink hoodie over his head and flipping the hood up over his messy hair "Let's see what we get into tonight…"

______

And so the nights went on like this, the two of you falling into an easygoing studio routine. If there wasn't anything else going on in the house, you'd eat dinner together then head to the studio and work through the night into the small hours, skipping out the pretense of trying to sleep. You were both pretty productive at this time it seemed, both being proclaimed night owls, and keeping busy during these uncertain times was keeping your minds off the unfolding pandemic.

Considering he’d referred to his home studio in the past as the ‘rage cage’ (and it certainly could still be party central when the entire crew got involved), it was actually a place you drifted towards to relax these days. You’d always worked well together in a studio, but over the weeks spending so much time just the two of you, you became more in tune with each other, noticing when one of you had hit a wall and it was time for bed. Sometimes you'd work in comfortable silence, side by side, engrossed in your own seperate tasks. Sometimes barely any work would get done as you put the world to rights talking about anything and everything in a late night impromptu therapy session.

This evening, you'd been sitting cross legged in your chair for hours now, focusing so hard on editing a song which was driving you mad, you hadn't realised your feet had gone numb. As you try to move, your knees crack and pins and needles shoot through your legs. Colson looks up from the screen he'd been engrossed in after hearing you groan and sees you rubbing your feet trying to bring back the feeling to them

‘C’mere’ he said, before turning his chair towards you and leaning down to grab your legs, bringing your feet up onto his lap. He pulls your socks off and begins massaging your feet. You lean your head back, eyes closed and let out a long ‘hmmm’. You don’t see Colson glancing over at you and shifting in his seat as he lets out slow breath before turning back to his screen

“Now this is the kind of work session I could get used to”, you sighed "You being my studio bitch on hand for foot rubs. Although, I imagine this enjoyment goes both ways Mr Foot Lover” you tease, throwing him an exaggerated wink

Colson throws his head back with a hearty chuckle, and light heartedly slaps your calf

"Keep it in your pants Y/N"

You laugh and wiggle your toes, Colson letting out a dramatic, throaty groan in response. "Those are some sexy little toes though" he states, sticking his tongue out.

Still laughing, you put your hand to your chest, and gasp as you feign prudishness and try to pull your feet away. He grabs both your feet in one of his hands, keeping them in place then leans over the desk and pulls your laptop towards you

"Get on with some work you, this is supposed to be keeping you motivated, not distracted"

He scolds affectionately, with a smile on his face

“Okay, okay, spoilsport” you grumble as you pull your computer onto your lap

Half an hour passes, your legs still on Colson’s lap with him still massaging your feet absentmindedly with one hand while he works, and your eyes begin to feel heavy. You don’t realise you’ve fallen asleep, until you’re awoken by a “woah” from Colson as he catches your laptop which is about to fall. Taking it from your lap, he states “Right, time for bed you”

You check your phone and see it’s already 5:36am.

You stand up and stretch then walk over behind Colson, putting your arms around his shoulders, and resting your chin on his head. Looking at his screen, you yawn “You got much left to do?”

He leans back into you, bringing his hand up to rest on your arm, “Making some good progress so just gonna finish a couple of bits”

“Okay dude” you gently kiss the top of his head and squeeze the back of his neck a couple of times as you turn to leave “Try and get some rest, we’ve got a long day of sweet fuck all to do tomorrow” you say through another big yawn

“Heh yeah, Night Kid” he says softly, letting out a yawn himself. Colson turns and watches you head out of the studio and lets out a big sigh. Feeling the back of his neck still tingle from where you’d squeezed it, he’s suddenly aware of how empty the room feels without you in it....

______

Taglist: @triplexdoublex @thisshitisfuckingdifficult @brightblaqkkheaven

Lace Up! ❌❌

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

Devil in disguise... Part 6/?

Lee Bodecker x reader series

<Part 5<

Warnings: swearing, violence, fat shaming, use of the word whore as an insult

Part 6

"Oh, before they get here, I wanna talk to ya'." Mary whispered as the two of you took your seats at the movie theater.

You gave her a questioning look. "Before who gets here?"

Mary waved her hand, ignoring your question before she placed it on your arm with a soft sigh. "I think ya' oughtn't be seen with him so much."

You frowned in confusion at her, "Who? My grandpa?"

"No, silly, who'd ya' think." She huffed. "That fat shit. Bobby-Ray told us he ruined your date." Mary sighed. "Who'd he think he is?" She huffed.

"A loser fat shit." Your other friend, Sally, snickered from beside Mary making her laugh.

A scowl crept into your face as you realised who the two of them were talking about. "... You mean, Sheriff Bodecker?" You asked.

"Yes." Mary huffed. "Boy, does he get on my nerves."

"He's as crocked as they come. Pa says he killed a man before." Sally muttered around a mouthful of popcorn.

You glared at her and let out a frustrated sigh. "The Sheriff didn't ruin the date, Mary. I ain't wanna go on the damn thing in the first place." You huffed.

"You were just nervous, sweetie. Bobby-Ray said so himself."

"Bobby-Ray is a liar." You hissed.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be so stupid." She scoffed. "Look, because I'm such a good friend, I thought I'd do ya' a favour." She grinned, nodding over your shoulder as she clapped her hands together.

You felt your stomach drop with dread as you looked behind you. "Why is he here?" You hissed at Mary quickly looking away from Bobby-Ray. He wore an almost sadistic smirk as he walked towards you.

"Because that loser of a sheriff ruined your date. Look... Bobby-Ray is mad about you, sweetie." She grinned as she leaned in, "Rumour has it he's gonna pop the question."

"Stop!" You stood up abruptly. "Excuse me... I need to use the powder room." You faked a smile before you quickly moved passed her and Sally, avoiding Bobby-Ray successfully.

God damn, you hated the way people spoke about Lee. He had his faults, every man and woman did. And so what if he killed someone, some people deserve to die, especially in the shit hole place you lived.

Before you had even realised your feet had taken you to the payphone that sat in the lobby of the movie theater and you held the candy wrapper with Lee's home number on. It put a smile on your face, thinking about his sweet tooth.

"Yeah, Bodecker residence." His deep voice sent shivers down your spine and caused a needy little whine to leave your mouth. "Hello?"

"Sheriff," You sniffled, quickly wiping your frustrated tears away. You hadn't even realised they were there.

"Sugar, that you?"

"Uh-huh," You whispered. "I need ya' to come save me, Lee."

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Lee's tone had shifted more towards a panicked one as he listened to you sniffle again.

"Bobby-Ray," You glanced over your shoulder making sure you weren't being watched, "He's here, and I'm scared. Mary set us up on a date."

"Okay, baby, on my way. Stay by the doors and stay in sight of people at all times, okay?" Lee ordered softly.

You hummed, "Yes, Sir."

You weren't sure how long you were waiting by the doors before you decided you'd be okay stepping outside. It was getting stuffy inside and you'd make sure to stay in sight. You instantly felt better being in the cool air, even though you knew Mary and Sally would be wondering where you'd gotten to. And most likely Bobby-Ray, who won't hesitate to come looking for you.

You tried to ignore what Mary had said, but you couldn't help thinking about it. Surely Bobby-Ray wasn't going to 'pop the question'? You couldn't stand him. And he most certainly wasn't the man you wanted to marry.

"Goin' somewhere, sweetness?" You jumped at the sound of Bobby-Ray's voice. He smirked at you even more as he began to move closer. "It ain't nice to ignore your date, Y/N."

You glared up at him. "Y'ain't my date."

"Sure I am. I had to do something after that fat fuck of a sheriff ruined our first one." He stood close to you, reaching up to touch your cheek.

"Don't fuckin' touch me!" You slapped his hand away from you.

He grabbed a hold of your hand in one hand and your jaw in the other, slamming you against the wall. "Watch your mouth, bitch." He spat. "Maybe I should force it shut, hmm."

"Screw you!" You raised your knee into his gut hard, trying to push him off you but it was no use, he was much bigger than you.

Bobby-Ray pushed you harder against the wall, pressing his face closer to your ear. "He only fucks whores, Y/N. Y'know that?" He snickered. "Must make you a whore too, hmm, like his sister."

"Don't fuckin' talk about Lee like that." You tried to push him away but he dropped his hand to your throat.

"So it's Lee now. You really are a whore, ain't ya'. That why ya' went to his office? You suck his cock for money? Hmm. So your grandpa don't borrow no more money from Ma. You a whore?" Bobby-Ray squeezed.

You gasped for air and your vision began to blur but Lee was behind Bobby-Ray ripping him off you before you knew it.

Lee's anger spilled out of him and he punched Bobby-Ray in the gut before landing one on the side of his jaw. "I warned ya'," Lee spat as he held Bobby-Ray by the collar.

He was about to open his mouth to say something else but stopped when he heard you crying behind him. He looked over his shoulder before pushing the younger man away from him.

"Sugar," Lee reached out for your hand, pulling you into his chest as you sobbed quietly. "Shh, I go'cha." Lee pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hard glare set on Bobby-Ray. "I warned ya', never to come near her again. Watch ya' back, Bobby-Ray, and tell your mother I'll be seein' her real soon. Ya' hear?"

The moment Lee was sat next to you in the cruiser he drove off not even bothering to put his seat belt on. "Lee, can-" You let out a shakey breath. "Can... I sit close to you?" You sniffled.

Lee's heart broke. He nodded, moving his arm to the back of the seat as he continued to drive. "Sure, Sugar, c'mere."

You quickly slipped over the seat and curled up into him, breathing in his scent with a soft smile. Lee placed his head on top of yours and continued to drive the two of you in silence.

Eventually he stopped on a dirt road that hardly ever got used but kept you where you were. He was enjoying having you pressed close to him and he wanted to be selfish for a little while.

You sat back from him and looked up at him. "Thank you, for coming for me."

Lee smiled a little at you. "Ya' really think I wouldn't?"

You blushed, shaking your head. "I wouldn't blame you if ya' didn't. Aren't you gettin' tired of me?"

"Oh, Sugar, sweetheart," Lee whispered as he reached out and lightly stroked your cheek with his thumb. "Ya' really got no idea do ya'?" He asked already knowing the answer as you looked at him with innocence swimming in your eyes.

"Of what?"

He smiled softly at you, using his thumb to wipe your tears from under your eyes. "Y'know you're the only person who ain't work at the station, who has my home number. Y'know why?" You shook your head. Lee smiled, "Cause ya' special to me, and I want ya' to be able to get hold of me, any time of the day. I'll always come get ya'."

You blushed and quickly looked down, trying to shy away. "Thank you..."

Lee hummed, tilting his head to the side as he noticed you frown, "What is it?"

"Bobby-Ray said... I was," You sat back from Lee taking a deep breath. "He said I was a-"

"I heard what he said." Lee huffed cutting you off, "He ain't know what he's talkin' 'bout, Sugar. You and I both know, y'ain't a whore." Lee placed his hand over your cheek. "Don't listen to a damn word he said."

You nodded with a soft smile as you placed your hand over his, pulling it into your lap. "He said something else... 'bout your sister,"

Lee frowned, "Sandy?" You nodded. "What he say?"

"The same thing about me..." You whispered. "He also said, that you, hmm... That I must be, a... A whore, because that's all, you-" Your face burned as you kept your eyes on your hand that still held Lee's.

Lee let out a long exhale through his nostrils, grinding his teeth in irritation. "What else he say?"

You shook your head, "Nothin', that's it." You lied. If you were being honest, you were a little scared to tell Lee what else was said.

"Don't lie to me, Sugar." Lee spoke in a commanding tone, moving to face you. "You can tell me." His voice softened as he lifted your hand in his as he pulled you closer to him.

You shook your head again, "Don't want ya' to be mad... Or upset." You whispered.

Lee sighed, "I won't be, promise." He gave you a soft smile.

You nodded taking a deep breath. "They said some things, that weren't nice... about you."

"They?"

"Bobby-Ray, and my friends, Mary and Sally... They called you a..." You trailed off, not wanting to say but Lee nodded for you to carry on. You let out a small sigh before continuing, "... They called you a fat shit... And, Sally said you were crocked... 'cause her father had said you'd killed a man." You frowned. "I don't care if you did, or didn't, but I can understand why you might... 'cause right now I wouldn't mind gettin' rid of 'em..." You huffed with a pout.

The corner of Lee's mouth twitched, threatening to break him as he thought about how cute you looked in that moment.

"Mary said, there's a rumor goin' round that, Bobby-Ray, is gonna pop the question to me. Why can't no one see, I ain't want nothin' to do with him..." You felt yourself tearing up again, "I try to tell 'em but they just don't listen."

"Shh, c'mere baby." Lee pulled you into his chest before you started crying and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I go'cha." He let out a heavy sigh. "I know, y'ain't want nothin' to do with him... Y'ain't got nothin' to worry 'bout no more, ya' hear?"

You pulled back just enough to look up at him. "Y'ain't gotta get in trouble for me, Sheriff."

Lee began smiling, reaching up to brush a piece of your hair from your forehead. "I can get into trouble on my own, Sugar." He dropped your gaze momentarily. "Ya' really don't care if I've killed someone?"

You shook your head, "No, 'cause some people just have to die... And, I feel the same way 'bout you, as I do 'bout my mamma. She killed my daddy 'cause he was a bad man, but I still love her." You whispered, toying with the cuff of his shirt. Did you just admit you love the Sheriff? "Ya' know... I ain't think... Those things, about you, right?"

Lee stared at you in bewilderment. You were something else. "I'm no good, sweetheart. Ya' should believe those things."

Your eyes widened as you looked at him in horror. "Now who's lying."

Lee scoffed, "I ain't. I'm a bad man, Sugar. I ain't... Sweet, like you." He shook his head and looked out the window.

"You're kind, even if it is only to me and my grandpa, but that's all I care about. The rest of that shit hole of a town can go... To hell." You smiled at him. "If ya' didn't care, would ya' be here?"

Lee shook his head as he looked back at you. "Wanna get something to eat?"

You nodded, "... Can we share a milkshake?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @est19xxshit @acciosiriusblack @stucky-my-ship @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @greeneyedblondie44 @saphic-susperia @moonlacebeam @charmed-asylum

[findyourrp]

HEEEELLO!

So getting right into this, I am a 18+M looking for other people above the age of 18. If asked in dms I will give my exact age. I will lay out everything shortly so that we can get straight to the point and not waste either of our times!

• Looking for MxF (me as M) or MxM(though preferable MxF simply because I like more feminine characters. That or pack it up and give your M character a skirt. It's one or the other😏) I love FxF only for double ups to be honest.

• I'm certainly not doing oc x cc with me as the cc unless it's a double.

•something I'd like is the usage of the canon characters. I love worldbuilding, I love character building and if we use canon characters even if it's in the background, it *enhances* that. Even if you only use 3 canon characters while I use 11, I don't care. Don't get it twisted it's not NECCESARY but could be nice. Ignore this if it's a fandomless roleplay.

• Literacy! I'm extremely adaptive but at minimum I ask you do two paragraphs so I have something to work with. Alongside this have some good grammar. I'm not a grammar nazi for wanting to understand your sentences. If your first language is not english that's fine because it's not mine either! We can help eachother for all I care.

• I am extremely patient but do not dm me if you will be responding only two times a week. I get super invested in a roleplay and it is painful to want more but have to wait a millenia for your response. I am a busy person as well but c'mon. Though if you tell me in advance you'll be busy I'll probably be a lot more lenient.

• Mostly want something with romance. Not opposed to alll the other genres, romance is boring if it's just that. But that's mainly what I want. I want two hot people to fall in love.

• If you are not into talking ooc we won't mesh well. This isn't a business transaction and while we don't need to be full on friends I atleast want some communication between us.

• You get many many points if you gush about the show, ships or anything with me! Pinterest boards who? Spotify playlists?? Edits? Chefs kiss. You don't need to make em because I sure as shit will. Point is, have fun!

• Last thing. Real FCs are a heavy preference, all of my fandoms are TV shows and I can't imagine an animated character with fuckin' Jenna ortega. I don't mind helping you find a FC, but I will not roleplay with piccrew. I can maybe be convinced into using an animated fc especially if it's an animated show but otherwise oof.

NOW. FOR MY FANDOMS!

Love & Death

Wednesday

Cobra Kai

Stranger things

Ratched

The babysitter(both)

Oh Ramona!

YOU

Daybreak

Rocky

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World(TV show and movie)

Barbie

.

[starredforlife]

okay cool! all results (and brief explanations) under the readmore:

ALSO the brief explanations are for those that genuinely have no clue what the blurbs are trying to say, which is fair, because i was writing off vibes alone. but i want your interpretation and the way you felt to dictate what the answers mean to you, because they really aren't supposed to be pinned down in an offhand sentence anyways. too reductionist. anyways:

🎇 bandmates with firecracker sexual chemistry: you are like shooting stars. you are misguided and magnetic and drawn to your loves without hesitation. something about you gulps down anything it finds. and you're fun, and you stick your tongue out to anyone, and we love you for it with kisses and pulls of the hair. you will be remembered in fascination and jealousy. you are unforgettable.

you are impulsive, but fun!

🕯️ carnal and holy sinning (this is a love letter to myself): you are the world's leading cross bearer of the most guilty conscience. you feel everything you touch turns to gold but in the way that it becomes molten and rich; and what i mean is that when you allow yourself impulse (which is not often) it leads to disaster. when you want someone it feels like sorrow, and you love the world like tacky honey, and you'll wish it could all feel less heavy. you look at yourself in the mirror and yearn to stake the heart and ascend with peace.

you have a guilt complex and/or OCD

🪠 beavis and butthead: the two sides inside of you live inside either asscheek and are trying to come up with the worst fart imaginable. (what else is the ass for?) you love the smell of your own uh. ideas and would rather not waste time on what other people think bc inevitably it's fuckin stupider than what you had in mind. you are what, in my household, we like to call a "big brain genius". bold and offensive and high and mighty and refreshingly humiliating. don't you ever change starchild

you can't take things seriously (blessing and curse)

🧟 god-hungry scientist and their abominable child: you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die it and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators and so i'm telling you please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.

you had bad parents

🥩 girl best friends (this will not end well): this is almost akin to cannibalism. something toxic and hateful exists in the way you hold yourself. you tout self-love, but is it actually that? or is it punishment? like the way two young girls who have no one else love and know each other, there's something deeply poisonous about how you handle your own feelings and self-worth. you are eating yourself alive trying to appease. please, by all means. start going apeshit on anyone mean to you.

you are scared to say no because you don't know that self-love means having boundaries

💦 the husband, the wife, and the pool boy: are you having fun indulging yourself, or are you watching from the sidelines, or are you letting people have a little fun with you just for the sake of feeling it? idk, maybe you're all three. maybe you're having the time of your life and others shouldn't judge you because hey, it's yours to spend. maybe the lesson here is that the husband should have his own pool boy.

you live life dissociated

🎥 dangerous parasocial celebrity fascination: how does somebody embody this as one person? simple. you are online way too much. you don't have to bare your secrets to the world, you are not our doll to prompt or play with, you belong to yourself. having an obsession with presentation was probably fun at first, but now it's a set of rules and you only have so many strikes until you're out. and to that i say whatever dude. just be. allow the side of you that is not a cardboard glamour exist as they are without pursuit of difference. you are allowed to exist plainly.

your live as if you are performing for others

🦷 dentist tasked with a child piranha: you are very scared of many many things but you are also incredibly determined to do as much as you can. how is this about a doctor and a fish-child? well let me explain. you are fearful and so you bite and flop, but you are also someone who loves the world and the people in it and you want to achieve things and so sometimes. you have to strap that fish to a chair and floss and rinse and do things anyways. this is a battle every time and so i respect you thoroughly for keeping those pearly whites shining, even though the bit is chomped.

you have anxiety and are being so brave about it

🧙 wizened mentor and intrepid teenager: you may have been called an old soul as a kid, and now you're doing everything you can to benjamin button that back. in your head of heads you can hear yourself giving advice, but the heart of hearts says no, i will not miss out on myself ever again. i can do this. and it really is about finding that balance before you end up buying too many goddamned hatsune miku figurines trying to endorse that inner child. but please do buy at least two. i know you deserve it.

you are learning how to indulge your inner child

🧸 big bear; little princess: this is a fun dynamic isn't it? a big burly character, often aloof, finding warmth and love while caring for a little helpless person or animal. and so that's the duality here, one where you can be tough and butch and gruff, but that's because you're protecting a deep sense of wonder and delight for what you love that others have poked at before. it's not selfish to enjoy that side of yourself, and it's not weak to show it either. i promise i promise, the right people want to see you love.

you're tough for your own reasons, but you don't really want to be

🌕 sun and moon: for some you shine just right, and for others you are too much or too little. people either hate seeing you rise over the horizon or pray and send blessing to you like a favorite god. you are timeless and there are not many like you, you who can embody both a burning star and a cratered rock. what i'm trying to say is that your duality compliments itself very well, but not everyone will understand why they can't get what they want from you. it doesn't matter. burn strong when you feel the need, and be gentle in the nights it's called for.

you do not mold to others' expectations

👤 you and the hat man: oh boy you're fighting demons aren't you. it's like you're in a constant staring competition with something that's always in the peripheral. what the fuck. (at least, that's how people who don't know you would react). at this point you've probably gotten pretty familiar with the hat man. he's a reliable kind of guy. keeps to himself, sure, but you can trust him to be there. maybe a haunting isn't too bad if it's never left your side. you can only imagine what it will be like when he's not there any more.

you don't remember your past well and it freaks you out, even though you're used to sitting with that now

🐺 moon curse of the werewolf: you have found yourself hungered or sickened or ambitious to the point of emotional carnage. you are fine, until you're not, and then you could rip someone in your way apart with your bared teeth by complete accident, and later claw at yourself in fits of pain trying to apologize. do you look at the moon that blessed you in her name, at her marred beauty and baneful eyes, and wish she could just crush that loving-hateful heart of yours before it crushes itself? every bite you take out of flesh is a response to the threads of silver bullets in you that haven't healed. the duality is that the human inside is howling too, gnashing, and without the wolf pelt, everyone can ignore it and turn away. at some point, you got tired of the moon being your only witness. now the wolf is there to make sure others know that you are hurt, and deserving of humanity, of attention to wounds. because that wolf loves you; all of you; and knows when you are hurt better than yourself.

you have been hurt so badly that it can't help but show itself in the ways you cope/react

🔵 the most important person and the pale blue dot: it's you. you're the most important because you are here and alive on this planet, that, in the scope of it all, isn't even the most of anything. the silliness of how vast our home is and how many of us there are only makes each of us that much more incredible. every time you kiss the cheek of a loved one you are telling the Earth that she is important in all the little ways, and thanking her for making others to hold. and likewise, when you hurt one of hers, she festers, and when she is hurt by yours she reciprocates--bellowing, and bleeding. she is important because you make her big and you are important because she made you small. and so…take care of each other.

you've looked at the big picture, and found yourself in it

🍀 moss-eaten robot (i.e. the workaholic whose body has had enough): the robot is dead? the robot is living. or a zombie, a botanical garden, an ecosystem, or a ghost of one. children watch you and wait for you to blink, mesmerized by how human you could look if you did. you are a shell, no lungs or organs to speak of, but the plants have found you and thought: we want to entwine in your wires like veins and give you oxygen. we want to turn your face to the sun with our leaves and help you feel the warmth of its rays. we want to water your rusted plates and bring you to the god of Pan as our greatest offering. sometimes, you want to get up, feel the gears whir and turn, and blink. but you are at peace, and you are understood, and so you rest. the time will come for your aching body to move, and you will know when that time is, but right now: you are not a machine. your metal and copper was made of the earth. so listen to the moss--and slumber.

capitalism sucks babey!

do y’all want me to do a little post that has the blurb for all the results for the duality uquiz results?

[ophiuchus-interactive]

In My Time of Need (MAJOR ANGST)

This is too long and too juicy of an ask to let it be just a common RO ask,

So! I'm going to be doing a mini-series answering this ask with all of the ROs!

Valerian is first! Now, remember, this is torture!

TW: Angst, blood, gore, torture!

Under the cut!

The prison cell looked akin to a tomb. Water leaking from the ceiling above your head, dripping through the stone brick and splattering against the aged, bloodied floor. Your hands were held in rusted, metal cuffs that were connected to the ceiling through chains. Valerian was in a similar state- only with him, his right eye was completely swollen shut. You wonder with a vague, passing thought if his eye dislodged from its position- or if it could be used at all anymore.

His breath was labored, heavy. The tell-tale rattle that echoed in his heavy gasps of air was a sign of broken ribs. The fierce, inky purple that took shape against his chest made sure of such an injury. A possibly permanent one.

They had beaten him within an inch of his life. The twisted, sinking feeling in your stomach was telling you that they weren't quite done yet.

In the darkness of the cells, you heard a large, metal door swing wide open, hitting the walls with enough force to make you jump. The clattering of your chains rang loudly in your ears, followed by the cacophonous, clobbering footsteps of your captors.

"He will not speak, commander. If we beat the whelp anymore without medical treatment, he will die,"

"He's not uttered a word?"

Silence.

A beat. Your heart is in your throat.

"...No, Commander. Nothing."

"'cause..." Valerian speaks up suddenly, his speech slurred by the blood the collected in his mouth, clogging his throat, "y'all dumb sons of bitches who can't....throw a fuckin' punch."

Your captors came into view. Their cloaked appearances giving you little to go off of as to their identity. Too tall for a Harpii. Too short for a Kal'Morran. They don't hiss their words- but something in the back of your mind makes you think they aren't exactly human.

"You know," The one called 'commander' says, " there is one thing I can never understand about your kind, captain. Do you know what that is?"

You watched- with a vague sense of astonishment- Valerian try his best to smile. You noticed teeth missing.

"What we're all better lookin' than you?"

Though you couldn't see it, you can imagine the Commander clenching his teeth, practically grinding them down to the gums,

"No. It is your aptitude for pain. In my experience, experimenting on the wide range of races that this universe, unfortunately, places in my hands for disposal, humans have always had a peculiar knack for...endurance."

The Commander chuckles, the action was enough to make your blood run cold, "True enough, I suppose. Humans have always been much more productive in experimenting than...well. Let's just say I don't think the two of you would do too well chained to our mining pits, living out the rest of your pathetically short lives harnessing the exact ore it is we will destroy you all with."

There was an audible smack to his lips, and then an almost dreamlike sigh, "Though the irony would be exquisite, indeed."

"Come 'ere to...talk, then?" Valerian coughs. The chains echo every harsh seize of his dry, bloodied throat, "I...stopped payin' attention right around the time you started...spewin' shit again."

You could practically feel the harsh and frigid stare the Commander was given Valerian. It was enough to make you swallow the lump that rose in your throat- a feeling of true fear.

"Grab the other one, Lieutenant."

"What?!" Valerian roars, his voice broken and scratched from his own screams, "You damned sonuva- they've got hell all to do with this! Leave 'em alone!"

Valerian's protests fall on deaf ears, the Lieutenant grabbing the chains that held your arms high in the air and release them from the hook- causing you to fall face-first into the floor.

Pain. White-hot, exploding pain burst like fireworks inside your skull. You felt blood pour freely from your nose; your forehead in enough agony to make you assume it was cracked.

You were pulled forward by the shackles that they hung you by, feeling every stray piece of stone and gravel embed themselves in your skin, burning the layers until it was raw, exposed.

The Lieutenant pulled you up from the floor, your blood trickling down the sides of your mouth and lips. Nausea began as your whole world started to spin. There was only one thought in your mind as you felt bile rise in your throat:

This was only the beginning.

"Come now, Captain, surely you can be reasonable? A member of your crew is about to be severely beaten. Their bones will break. Their skin will grow into that dark, nasty shade of purple- and you will have caused it. You will have caused their suffering.

Unless of course, you tell us precisely what it is we want, right now."

Silence.

And for that you were grateful. You and Valerian both know that not a word can be spoken of this. No matter what the cost.

"...Don't," You can hear Valerian say softly. Quietly. All that vibrato he had once before has been thrown to the side; all at once, he was a completely different person, "don't hurt them."

"I don't think you have much of a say in the matter, Captain. Either you start talking or I get to practice my hand combat- the ones that you abhor?"

"Don't- don't tell them shit, Val," You say as evenly as you can muster, "not a goddamn thing!"

CRACK!

It was the sound that came before the feeling- the force of a thick, gloved hand connecting with your side was enough to cause your body to forget how to breathe. You panicked as the pain blossomed into downright torment, your lungs being unable to catch up with the now broken pieces of your ribcage. You were left drowning in the dry, empty air.

"MC!"

"I'm going to give you one more chance, Captain. I suggest you take my words over your companion's- tell me everything. Every last shred of detail, and I will spare you both this pain."

Silence.

Do you think you hear a sob?

"Tch. Pathetic. Do you hold the silence above the people you're supposed to protect? What kind of a captain are you?"

"Stop! Please, stop, kill me- hurt me, anything but them-!"

"You do not get to beg like a diseased dog for a choice, Captain!" The Commander spits, his fury unable to be contained any longer, "Speak one more word that's not what I want, and I'll beat your companion until they're bloody, grey-mattered pulp on the floor!"

Silence.

A clatter. You think it was a tool. A hammer?

It doesn't take long for you to find out, however, as with a furious snarl, the hammer was slammed down upon the palm of your hand. You felt the bones in your hand crack under the force, the sheer magnitude of the assault was enough to make tears run down your face, and cry. Your nerves burned like fire, your body screaming for relief, and you know you won't be receiving any form of it. So this was true pain.

The world around you faded in and out of spotty darkness that threatened to consume your view, and you were afraid. Was this it? This- this can't be it. You needed to be awake, alive, you needed to see Valerian again.

But the darkness grew, and your air slowed down, and despite the chaos, the horror, you heard only one thing.

Silence.

A welcomed reprieve. An escape.

For now.