#people should give me more archived fics like this I want to explore

[camellcat]

you guys I'm losing my MIND

I have NEVER seen this sort of thing in any other fandom I've been in and I LOVE IT

[thebreakfastgenie]

this is one (1) redeemable voucher to complain about AO3's tagging system (if you like)

Thanks for the voucher!

I probably should have phrased that post differently because upon reflection what I hate is more downstream of AO3's tagging system. The system itself does what it's supposed to do: it organizes the archive. Of course, users get cutesy with it (and I'm guilty of this myself) and other users will use inaccurate tags on purpose to get more attention (this is not acceptable behavior), but neither of those things are the system's fault.

But because the tagging system is so robust and fics are tagged based on tropes, this culture has developed of hyper-curated, trope-based reading habits. This didn't exist before AO3 because it just wasn't possible to filter fics to that extent. Some of my favorite fic reading experiences have been fics that I stumbled across by mistake because I didn't know what they were or because I had to comb through broader categories.

And this is where I start sounding like Ted Gup. Ted Gup wrote this essay in the late 90s called The End of Serendipity about how computers being so efficient at retrieving information was going to bring about the end of people stumbling upon topics they wouldn't have otherwise explored. I had to read and respond to this essay in English class in middle school and I raked Ted Gup over the coals, because I was writing on my laptop with dozens of open tabs. I still think I was right to point out Ted Gup's failure to foresee the wiki walk, but now that I'm older and technology has developed more over the last fifteen years, I'm starting to think he had something of a point.

I was thinking about this in a fanfiction and fandom context because I recalled a post I reblogged recently saying (paraphrased) "I have nothing against shipping but some of you are too focused on shipping to the exclusion of everything else." I agree with that post, but for me part of the problem isn't even the focus on shipping, it's that the shipping content is often so formulaic. Fandom talks a big game about diversity and creativity in fanworks, but a lot of the actual output I see is incredibly formulaic. In my opinion that's related to the extreme focus on tropes. Tropes are great, but if you're only looking at fic as a list of tropes you're taking a very narrow view. I don't know what the direction of causality is here, if there even is one, but I think the tagging system and the way the tagging system is used facilitate this reductive trope-based outlook.

I'm from the fanfiction.net era and I find the character and relationship tagging on AO3 useful, but I don't really care for the additional tags. I had to train myself to even read them. I prefer to select fics based on titles and summaries, because those are created by the author. Obviously writing a summary is very different than writing a story (and in fact it's a different skill and it's hard!) but a summary is still written by the author, so it gives me some sense of their writing style. When authors actually include an excerpt in the summary it does that even more. Tags can be useful in conjunction with a summary, because well-selected tags make me curious how all the elements listed in the tags fit together. But I don't want to sort by Enemies to Lovers or whatever.

I don't expect everyone to read like I do, this is nothing more than one crank's ramblings about my personal dissatisfaction with the current state of fandom. Maybe it resonates with someone, and if it does they're welcome to reblog it, but I'm not trying to do social commentary here. Maybe it doesn't, and that's okay too.

I also don't know if the trope focus on booktok and in the traditional publishing world comes out of fanfiction or not but it's even more distressing to me there and I think it bothers me in the fanfiction sphere because of the possibility that fanfiction is contributing to that trend.

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Survivor fic is for the anon who requested 'The last of us'.

Cal wakes early, the others still asleep in their cabins. With BD still charging and sleep already a distant memory, Cal decides he needs some air, and some space. He’s not in the headspace to meditate (even if Cere and Master Tapal always insisted that was exactly the time to meditate). He leaves a note on the galley table (‘Out for a walk. Have comm. Call if you need me’) and heads out. They’ve landed near a beach on Tanalorr this time, Greez and BD having undertaken a survey of the planet and sought out alternative landing spaces. The Jedi of the High Republic did most of the hard work for them by establishing their temple in a perfect spot, geographically speaking, and yet they need to know what the rest of the planet is like, seeing how it’s untouched by the Empire – or the Republic. Greez wanted a beach cookout, so he’d landed them here. Yesterday, Cal patiently gave Kata a few swimming lessons. She’s still a little nervous and learning in a pool or a pond would be better, but she gets the basics and is happy to stay in the shallows for now.

It didn’t take her long to discover the joys of splashing her teacher right in the face, either.

This morning, however, it’s just him. The tide lulls Cal, the Force calm on the beach. The faint undercurrent of darkness lingering on Tanalorr fades away. Cal isn’t sure what that feeling is yet. The time to explore it will come later. Much later unless the Force compels him to investigate sooner. Right now, the Force seems to be determined to make him rest.

Rest. Right. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees people dying. Sometimes he thinks he should go away, far away, from everyone he loves. Their odds of survival will surely increase in his absence.

Cal kicks off his boots, tugs off his socks, shrugs out of his jacket, yanks his shirt over his head, and wades into the ocean. Sand swallows his feet. The chill fades as his body adjusts, and he ducks under the surface, kicking his way into deeper water. He doesn’t stop until the seabed is so far away, he’d need his rebreather to reach the depths. Rolling onto his back, Cal faces the sun and closes his eyes, the water and the Force carrying him.

He is alone. Adrift. A Jedi without an Order. He wants to believe so badly that there are others out there, and yet…

Malicos.

Dagan.

Bode.

He too succumbed to darkness, fell into its thrall, wielded its intoxicating power. Strong, unyielding, he had conquered many enemies, the echo of Cere’s power guiding his every vengeful move.

Never again. Never. If he falls, if he gives in again, if he fails to fight, what remains of the Jedi falls with him. He’s never found any signs of other survivors, not until they jab a lightsaber in his face. Cere said there were ‘very few of us left now’. Did she mean others besides herself and Cal? If she did, what if those others are just as broken as he is? As broken as Malicos, Dagan and Bode were? Twisted like the Inquisitors? Maybe it would be safer for what’s left of his family for him to never seek out other Jedi, to remain the last of the Order, to protect Force-sensitives without turning them into soldiers. The Force belongs to everyone, not just the Jedi. Merrin, the Zeffo, Kashyyyk’s Origin Tree, the Anchorites… All of them, and so many more, with their own perceptions of what the Force is – what it can be.

With or without the Jedi, Tanalorr will be a haven, and it will house all the remains of Cere’s Archive, become her living, breathing legacy. Cal swears he will do better, and if he is the last of the Jedi, he will ensure their ideals live on.

For now though, he should return to shore, go back to the others, and contact The Hidden Path. The galaxy could use some hope, and Cal finally has a little to share.

He returns to the beach. Merrin waits on the shore, fresh caf in her hands. “Did you find what you are looking for?” she asks, blunt as ever.

He takes the drink. “I hope so.”

[sockatoothewafflebird]

HEY GUYS IT'S HERE AAA EXPLORING PETRA'S CHILDHOOD TRAUMA HERE I COME

Summary (for those that didnt see the original post announcing this fic):

It's been four months since Jesse, Petra, and the others saved the world for (hopefully) the last time; and just under four months since the two officially set off into the wilderness. At first they went wherever their instincts took them. Jesse, however, being one to favor a plan over spontaneity, maps out a route for the next few months. Petra doesn't really care where they go, as long as they're together. (Can you tell they've been dating for a month now?)

Jesse, by some stroke of fate, ends up choosing the one area Petra has spent the entirety of the last ten years trying to avoid. The warrior doesn't protest because, let's face it, she's kind of a simp. And maybe it'll be an opportunity for her to get some peace of mind regarding her old life!

So, Petra is forced to face her past. The past she's spent years running away from, the people she wanted so badly to leave behind for good, and the memories she's tried so hard to suppress.

--

you will notice. that a few things have been changed regarding the story. i have worked out all of the kinks and there should be no more of that in the future. if there is i apologize in advance.

anyway EXPLODES this chapter has more fluff than there will be normally but this fic will have as much fluff as it does angst. probably more actually. can you tell i like fluff. petra suffers from great emotional turmoil but jesse will be there and that will lead to fluff. cavities. teeth falling out.

any-anyway, consistent update schedules are evil and i avoid them like cats do to cucumbers so i have no idea when chapter 2 will be out, but i pinky promise i'll keep y'all updated about it on here. if you have any questions about it feel free to ask me in the notes or in my inbox, like, give me every single thought you have about jesstra either in the context of this fic or otherwise and i will yap with you

save me jesstra... jesstra save me...

(psst @silentbeaves it is HERE :DDD hope you enjoy)

[quantumripple]

Figured it might be neat to give post-mortems of fics I’ve written (in no particular order)

Gonna call this Quantum’s Post-Moretem Mondays even though I’m almost certain I’m never going to post this again on a Monday (work was just suuuuper slow)

So to start off we’ve got Pen Pals: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51609454

Premise: in early 2010 Taylor and Sveta become pen pals (hence the name).

Very much the definition of a rarepair since there’s only one other Taylor/Sveta fic that I’m aware of and it’s not even tagged.

And honestly hot take: the reason it’s a rarepair is that it lowkey just does not work as a ship. Taylor and Sveta are just not compatible, Taylor is far too… her. Sveta deserves better honestly.

What I like about the fic:

The bits of humour always blindside me when I do a reread. This one definitely leans on the sort of online humour you sometimes get with lesbians. Particularly the meme of two girls commiserating you each other that they “wish they could get a gf frfr”

I also just stole some funny bits from worm and adapted them but idk if I should count those bc they were just yoinked from worm.

I’m pretty proud of the background plot that’s happening in the fic. It’s pretty fun to explore those through only the lens of texts between two people. Things diverge a little bit and we end up with Echidna happening early, but the fight goes a lot differently. Ends up being a much longer fight/conflict but upside is case 53 stuff didn’t get leaked. Taylor eventually ended it by tag-teaming with a few heroes, getting the right power combo. S9 shows up after and a while after they’re there Amy takes Victoria. Taylor, thinking the s9 did it went on the warpath, she broke into the prt hq and stole the Bakuda bombs which she used to take out a few members before she found Amy and Victoria, made Amy fix her, then just fully executed her.

What I don’t like:

Taylor is extremely out of character. She’s too like… it’s hard to explain but she’s too cutesy, or dorky in a way that doesn’t really fit with how she is in canon. Triple especially anytime they’re discussing feelings. Honestly the only parts of her that feels in character is latter on in the fic when it starts getting into the broader hero plot stuff.

Sveta is also pretty ooc but not quite as bad as Taylor. She’s a hard character to write because while yea she’s got a lot going on at the end of the day she’s just a really nice person and that’s hard to write out unless you want something super fluffy.

And speaking of: the fic is just way too fluffy for my tastes these days. Like I had to skim the final scene where they’re being all sappy and confessional bc it made me feel ill lmao.

What I would do if I were to redo/re-explore:

Honestly this might be one of my few fics where I’d just cop it and say that it kinda doesn’t work conceptually. Taylor and Sveta just aren’t really compatible without changing one or the other.

Honestly if I were returning to it I’d probably drop Sveta (sorry) and actually just focus on the Brockton Bay plot stuff. So it’d be Taylor joining the wards, getting frustrated and then leaving and teaming up w Victoria and the focus is more in them becoming friends. And the other changes with Echidna and the s9 could be fun to explore.

Or alternatively I keep Sveta and lean into the doomed nature of the relationship, have it be a much more deep exploration of their characters and how they could interact. Follow Sveta as she makes an online friend but slowly realise that this friend of hers is weirdly violent as a cape. Have that introduce a lot more friction with Sveta judging Taylors methods more and more and Taylor just getting really defensive etc. and like…. It wouldn’t even need to have a bad ending per se. It would just be them realising that they’re really not compatible and that getting this invested in each other was a bad idea. Or the super good ending where Sveta comes around to Taylor’s way of thinking and they wage bloody war against evil, that could also be p fun. And not entirely impossible especially if Taylor is literally Svetas only friend.

Final thoughts:

This is one of those fics that still gets the odd random comment on ao3 which makes me remember it more often than other fics despite the fact that I don’t really have much to say/think about the fic beyond what I’ve already thrown up. It sits in my mind as a firm “basically ok, has its moments”

Curious to know what others think of it because honestly I barely do. I think I just picked it bc it was one of my shorter fics and sfw so I could read it between waiting for stuff to happen at work.

[writingwell]

20 13 fanfic questions

Thanks to @randomfoggytiger for the tag. I didn’t do all of them, just the pertinent ones, and I modified those just to include ffnet as well. 

1. How many works do you have? 26 on AO3 (for my mature rated Spy Castle stuff); fanfiction.net has 278 Castle fics;and about 300ish archived at Gossamer for X-Files.

4. What are your top fics by kudos/reviews? The Return of Vulcan Simmons, Tempest (not a spy work!) on AO3; ffnet would be One Hundred Days of Summer (co-authored with SandianeCarter) and Dash It All.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah, I think if you take the time to contact me, you deserve the respect of hearing from me. It might not be a full-blown conversation, but I’ll do what I can with a full-time profession and a writing one as well. Also, suuuuper sorry, just discovered AO3 has an inbox. 300 days ago, some of you messaged me and I am just now seeing those. Lol. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have a spy fic where the two of them are just so at odds, so grieving with and over each other… okay that’s most of them. But I try not to end on angst, as it’s supposed to be the journey not the destination. (Angst is a twisting of the heart, not a place where you stay. According to me.)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Dash series has the ‘happiest’ endings. Not because life is happy, but because they figured out how to create contentment within what they’d been given/dealt in life. And in ways other versions of the Castle characters hadn’t accomplished. They did the work.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Oh definitely. A while back, I turned off comments on tumblr for about a year as I processed and healed from some targeted attacks, and I can say that I came out more certain of myself and my writing. But I was also an adult who had not been forced to weather these attacks as a vulnerable 13 y-o on social media (as so many of you are unfortunately dealing with). I was able to detach, center myself once more, and rise above because I’d grown up IRL, so to speak. I have a faith in something bigger than me which, while it doesn’t look like what it did, has sustained me and given me the confidence to know my worth even as it spurs me to be/do better. 

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? Oh definitely, lol. It’s on AO3. Usually I like to explore M/F with a third in there for kicks, as the concept of generosity and giving within the sexual relationship/experience is intriguing to me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I objected to the term ‘stolen.’ I’ve had my fics, without my knowledge, posted elsewhere, translated without my knowledge, and changed to other fandom characters to be posted elsewhere. However! I’ve had loads of people ask me too, and I really appreciate being able to go visit them. (Stolen would indicate I somehow own these fanfictions, and I do not, as that would be a legally difficult hill to stand on. I also do not perceive collective fan art in this manner, because the world is all of ours.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Oh there’s a co-written story that me, carto, and muppet47 started and have NEVER finished. We all know Castle has to go to jail, but we can’t write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Writing it the first time. Correctly. As in, it comes out the way it should or ought to or how I am seeing it in the moment. I have the right rhythm, I can spell and I have the grammar skills. My first draft is fast and good enough for submission. Of course, I go back and edit, and I have to, but I’m very blessed in not ever going through anything like writer’s block.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Secondary characters. I have a tendency for tunnel vision, where all I want to do is talk about and to and for the main characters. If they have friends or family, I barely include them. I can’t manage to care that they exist. But all of us live in a complex web of relationships and community; no one is alone. My last novel, Taste of Salt, was an concentrated effort to include as many other perspectives as possible, so it was told through the POVs of the two main characters and interspersed with flashback chapters from the POVs of their friends, family, coworkers, chance encounters, medical personnel, kids, support networks… there you go.You have to do the thing that’s hard. Write it out, over and over, keep practicing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Yeah, sometimes it becomes necessary for the character. But please keep it to a minimum (imo) as it detracts from the reader’s understanding and experience of reading. It ought to be rather easy to understand what the person is saying due to context or just the flow of the scene. If you’re writing in English, and you have a character visiting France, then obviously some of that ought to be in French, but after a while, you can indicate that the language is being used while writing it in English. I say this because most of you are fandom writers who are not writing for literary audiences; therefore, don’t ruin everyone’s fun my making it incomprehensible or inaccessible. Please.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Don’t ask me to choose between my children! I can tell you that Dash holds a special place in my heart due to the amount of readers who said it gave them understanding of their own sensory issues or their child’s autism, etc. Spy gave me one of my greatest friends, carto, who continues to love and support me and my writing. 

I won't tag anyone, because I deleted so many of these questions, but feel free to answer or share or talk with me about them!

[mikeylivesattheend]

Jason Todd but Not! (AU's)

If you want to read AUs that give you different versions of Jason Todd, this is for you. These 8 fics are all categorized as gen, and I tried to include lesser known works here.

I'll be listing

Word count

Any rating above teen

Archive warnings

Major relationships

Mind the specific tags on a work before you read

~~~

The We in I by forestgreen

12,680; Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne

There never was a Jason.

A fic exploring Jason Todd through the lens of him having DID. There's so much care put into this fic, and it genuinely changed how I thought about certain canon events. I also love the voice forestgreen employs for Jay. They capture the magic of 80s Jason Todd perfectly, while making him sound correct in the modern setting.

I have no tongue and I must scream by Sassaphrass

5,242; The Batfamily Hunger Games AU: Former Victor Jason Todd returns to his District for the first time in a long time. Something is troubling his fellow Victors and he gets a surprising recruit to his murderous crusade against the Capitol.

AND

Red, and Terrible, and Red by Sassaphrass

13,075; Rape/Non-Con, Underage; Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul/Jason Todd On a journey from Victor, to Slave to Rebel (with just a short side-trip through insane vengeance fueled serial killer), for Jason Todd winning the Hunger Games was only the beginning.

I can’t decide which of these to recommend first. They’re part of the same series, and if you get invested you’ll want to read both anyway. The first fic in the series sets the general DC/Hunger Games premise, while the the other one is purely Jason’s backstory. I find myself re-reading Red, and Terrible, and Red because his backstory is immaculate, but you probably should read the setup fic first 😅

Whisper Closely In My Ear by KangaRou

8,518; Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne The words went in one ear, rattled around like bees, before ramming out the other. The doctor was sitting painfully close, only two feet away. The tone of voice implied he was talking louder, not quite a yell but something nearly there; it sounded like a whisper to Jason. So quiet, with every third word unintelligible, except for that first phrase: "Mr Wayne, I'm afraid you're profoundly deaf." --- Jason is profoundly deaf. He learns to cope with it.

The premise is exactly what it sounds like, but so much more. The author goes into detail regarding Jasons treatment, how Bruce (isn't) being helpful, and the genuine fear he feels when he's with his family. It's separated into small scenes that connect beautifully. A must read honestly.

We'll Never Get Free (Lamb To The Slaughter) by AquamarineMemeBender

4,286; Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death; Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne & Colin Wilkes, Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Batfamily Members & Bruce Wayne "He keeps throwing kids into his own self destruction and never understands that he'll never be able to save them." "I know," she gasps. "I know. I already know. He didn't save me, he didn't save my mom, he didn't save my best friend or-" "You know," Jason assures her, and rests the end of his gun on her forehead as gently as possible. "He doesn't." Or: Bruce keeps making Robins. Jason keeps killing them.

Very dark, and also relies on the Lazarus Pit. BUT! The pit is used differently here, adding to the surreal horror of this fic. Reading this is like watching a car made of hope, love, and familial trust crash into a brick wall.

Turning Point by Neocolai

4,310; Not Rated; Graphic Depictions Of Violence Hood had one standard as a hired gun — he didn’t shoot kids. The Joker should’ve known better than to involve him, even if the party in question was Bat-trained.

Aaand a fic that is the complete opposite of the last one.

I love seeing how people make Jason the Red Hood without the ‘I am a better Batman’ angle or the bruce daddy issues. This is a solid read.

keep on haunting me by Littlearrows

4,090; Dick Grayson & Jason Todd After his time as a mob boss, Jason opens a private detective agency for Gotham's ghosts, investigating their deaths and helping them find justice. A case leads him to getting justice for his own ghost haunting him. (aka a supernatural noir detective AU)

This is a banger noir fic that sprinkles in intriguing worldbuilding, and gives the characters a really cool vibe. Jason feels like a legitimate detective & I could easily imagine this being a slice from a video game.

The Zombie Robin by Penglaive

36,301 Nearly half a year after Jason Todd was murdered by the Joker, Scarecrow launched a plot to delve six feet deeper into the heart of fear. Whether this plot went ultimately right or horribly wrong is a matter of perspective, but everyone involved could agree it went weird quickly, even by Gotham standards.

Jason must deal with his unknown zombie status in this fic, and it has more depth than you might imagine. Penglaive strikes a nice tonal balance between serious and lighthearted, switching perspectives giving context to the greater impact of Jason's return. This one is uberly underrated.

~~~

Sooo that’s my list. Obviously there are a lot more fics that fit these tropes, but this is just a cheese platter of different Jason Todds......

ANYWAYS I hope you enjoy these hidden teasures, like ken.

Ken out 😘

[blackjackkent]

OK, so, off to the Archive. It's been made pretty clear that shit is going to go tits-up as soon as Raphael realizes what is happening, but I think we've done all the exploring we can right now. Time to set a fire in Hell. >:)

"Hello again, little mouse. The price for speaking is steep, but I must give warning. Your prize is just ahead in the Archive, but you can't take it yet, and even if you could, you mustn't. Trigger the alarm and Raphael will come swooping home on wings of malice to rip out your soul." Again the sudden shrieking wail as the panic takes her over. "IN THIS HOUSE THIEVES ARE MELTED LIKE BUTTER AND SPREAD ONTO TOAST!"

Her head ducks, her voice drops, a sudden frantic tone. "Shhhhhhhh... I'm doing it again I'm doing it again..."

Hector crouches down to her height, reaches out a hand towards her. He can't touch her, not a projection as she is, but perhaps the gesture at least comforts. [MONK] "Focus," he says softly. "Breathe with intent. And the flames that scorch your mind will recede, for they are nothing."

(A/N: I love how, completely by accident, this directly echoes one of the first fics I ever wrote about Hector. "Two beats to the breath...")

Her shoulders relax just slightly, a little of the mania fading briefly from her voice. "Slight problem," she whispers. "The flames are scorching my backside as well as my mind. But I like your optimism. And I can help. The Archivist is the key, but he's as stubborn as a king and as serious as a heart attack." The moment of control slips; her eyes widen, and she bellows out suddenly, "EXPLOIT HIS PIDDLING WEAKNESSES AND MAKE HIM GROVEL!"

She flinches away, curling herself inward. "Oh no..." she mutters. "They hear me. Speak quickly. Speak softly. You know how this goes..."

Hector swallows. He has to take a moment to settle his own mind, find his own center, as this woman's (entirely understandable) erratic behavior has him tremendously on edge.

[WISDOM] Focus your efforts on formulating concise questions.

Narrator: You steady your mind and prepare your questions.

"How should I deal with the archivist?" he asks crisply.

"He fears authority figures," she tells him, quickly, quietly. "Perhaps his teacher took a strap to him and left a deep impression at an early age. There's one regular visitor that he particularly fears... She is..." She flinches. "Shhhhhhh..."

Narrator: A crack like a breaking bone. Hope winces.

Hector frowns tightly. He wants nothing more than to get Hope and the Hammer and be far from this place and its torments. But there is no way out but forward.

[PERSUASION] "Who does the Archivist fear, Hope?" he says. "I need a name."

(A/N: Took three inspirations but we got there.)

"SCARIER THINGS THAN YOU, LITTLE MOUSE!" Hope roars - then controls herself again, her hands wringing together frantically. "Verillius. Verilliuse Receptor. A High Inquisitor of Zariel. Officially entitled to audit Raphael's collection. Her true form is so gargantuan and mind-scarring to behold that she takes on many guises when she visits..."

Another lift of her voice into a panicked scream. "PLAY YOUR PART WELL AND YOU CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BLASPHEMOUS GUISES!"

She vanishes, her words hanging in the air.

-----

"Lovely," Hector mutters. "We all know my talent for deception. Maybe someone else ought to take this one." He hesitates, looking sideways at Karlach.

He doesn't say anything, but she knows what he's thinking, and nods slowly, squaring her shoulders. "It should be me," she mutters. "I know how devils work. I met Verillius once or twice even. And I know how to scare the shit out of people, too."

He smiles faintly. "You did quite a good job with Helsik outside."

She shrugs. "Can't say I much want you admiring me for it. Last thing I want is to show up anything like those monsters. But if it'll help us tear this place apart, I guess it's worth something."

A pause. He steps towards her, rests a hand on her shoulder. "I love you," he says softly, "for everything you are that is good and kind and warm, everything not of this place. We do what must be done and then we'll be gone... we'll be gone from here..."

"Ten years I spent in the hells..." she murmurs, more to herself than to him. "Ten years of doing what must be done, enough to survive... nice to turn it back on them for once..."

[lola-andheruniverse]

⭐ Your Turn Sunday ⭐

I'd like to recommend It Takes An Ocean Not To Break by carolthequeen.

"Perhaps Daryl should care, perhaps he should feel self conscious about being so obvious, but honestly he’s done pretending that he doesn’t want to keep her close. To be as close to her as she’ll allow."

carolthequeen is one of the archive's hidden treasures 👑 Every upload is a gem 💎

I've chosen this fic specifically because I wanted Daryl to throw caution to the wind when Carol invited him to go on the boat. I knew why he couldn't say yes, but still. Carol asking Daryl to run away *with her*? That's huge!

Like last week's rec, this another very grounded and introspective fic. I feel like so many of my gripes with the show could have been solved if tptb had slowed things down, giving their characters space to breathe and letting Carol and Daryl spend meaningful time with each other. This fic does all of those things in an authentic and engaging way. Being on the boat doesn't solve Caryl's problems, but it does give them some much needed breathing space and the opportunity to say things which need to be said.

I think the way that Carol's vulnerability is depicted is spot on - how she'll hide behind a smile and trick people into thinking she's doing better than she really is. But she can't hide from Daryl, he sees through her every time. They have a conversation which should have taken place in the show and there's a beautiful parallel with an iconic Caryl moment.

Enjoy!

Hi, @notalkingbusiness! Two in a roll, dear! Thank you so much for participating one more time and sharing another fic with us! I can't express how happy you made me!

It Takes An Ocean Not to Break, one-shot written by @bloodlnthemoonlight, known as carolthequeen | kataurah is available both on 9Lives and AO3. Oh, and I totally agree, this author is hidden treasure indeed (I have How Rare and Beautiful lined up to rec on late october).

Summary:

He’d already known this whole sailing thing wasn’t for him before he’d even taken a step off dry land - had said as much after all - and being out on the water hasn’t changed his mind. But damned if he could ever really refuse Carol anything if she wanted it bad enough.

Post-10x01 fic in which Daryl takes Carol up on her offer to take a trip out on the boat with her.

Rating: G / General Audiences Word count: 2077 Published: December 03, 2019

I love this type of stories, that are a mix of 'fix it' and 'what if', because we can dive into these little moments, sadly lost on canon, and explore all their possibilities on fanon - we all know how things would be different if Daryl and Carol had been given the opportunity to talk, just talk, and give in onto their vulnerability, right?. nottalkingbusiness gave us a 5-star review, so I'll leave you with one of my favorite parts of this fic just to give you the final push to read it: "“I know you’re running…” He begins, and it’s only because he’s so in tune with her that he feels Carol tense ever so slightly. “That you don’t wanna feel any of it. And I get it, I do. But you told me once that I had to. Feel it. And you were right.” He closes his eyes and feels the phantom press of her lips on his forehead and so turns his head to return the gesture, brushing a kiss to her hairline and whispering words of affirmation into her skin. “You don’t have to do it alone. Wherever you are, I’ll be there too.” 

And on this heartbreaking/heartwarming note, week two of caryl fic recs is over! Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did. Tomorrow we start all over again! Caryl on!

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

More Writing Chat!

Adopted tag game from @commander-krios - since I’ve been going wild with the tags lately, I’ll restrain myself from tagging anyone in particular but please do pick this up if you want (I did!) and tag me in your post! <3 On with the questions:

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

13, though it should be 14. (I have a short WWDITS fic from a couple of years ago, originally published in a zine, that I keep forgetting to archive!)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

132,892

3) What fandoms do you write for?

BG3, Ambition: A Minuet In Power, Hades and What We Do in the Shadows

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Sharp Teeth, Rolan x Tav, E

2. Après Theâtre, Guillermo x Nandor, T

3. Sharess’s Sundries, Rolan x Tav, E

4. Planar Tears, Rolan x OFC, E

5. Tail and Tongue, Rolan x Tav, E

5) Do you respond to comments?

HELL YES. Every time, with the rare exception that if someone’s left six in a row within like one day on the same fic, I might only respond to half of them (although if they’re in depth, you bet I’m responding to every single one). It’s second nature to me: comments just give me such an amazing warm glow and I feel compelled to share it right back <3 I honestly have to stop myself from replying too quickly if I happened to be checking my email in the moment a comment came in. If you’ve ever thought ‘Jesus she’s fast’… I probably wanted to reply even faster. Lol.

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Honestly, I haven’t written any with angsty endings. I guess I like my fluff, in fanfic. I’m working on an original novel that will eventually have a bittersweet/open ending I think. But that’s going very slowly.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ooh, good question. Maybe Sharp Teeth. They saved the world, after all. Tav goes from impending death, and Rolan from precarity and abuse, to love and a happily (grumpily) ever after.

Ribbons also ends with Yvette and Ludovico living their blissful, unconventional happily-ever-after in Rome. So maybe that too.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I don’t think I’ve ever written for pairings that are a locus of that kind of attention. The closest I’ve ever got is spotting a comment in the fanfic subreddit that I’m 95% sure was complaining about the ear licking in Sharp Teeth specifically lol. Which amused me greatly.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! M/F mostly, though I’ve also written a bit of F/F. And mostly kinky, lol. The list of kink stuff I want to explore is LONG.

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not against it, but haven’t had one occur to me yet.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I think I’m too small a fish for that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

See 11), haha

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Currently co-writing a very goofy Shane/Farmer & Krobus gift fic with my girlfriend for our flatmate! This reminds me I need to work on it. Purely a private fun gift exchange - she knits us socks <3

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

This doesn’t super work as a question for me, because it’s usually whatever I’m currently obsessed with. But from the sheer number of times I’ve read the book, and watched the 1995 BBC series - Elizabeth and Darcy? (Otherwise I’m just going to say Rolan x Steel Weave Tav. Catrin’s in the doghouse for being difficult to write rn)

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Hades fic, ‘Family Gatherings’. I have a fun lil plan for Zag hanging out with each of his surface family in turn (sometimes in pairs/trios) and seeing how Meg/Than feel about it. And it is really fun and sweet - but unfortunately I started writing it at the tail end of my Hades obsession, so whilst I think it’ll get a couple more chapters at least, I’m not really motivated to finish.

I also want to finish my Yvette/Ludovico smut fic Britches, which has a pegging chapter that its audience of like 3 people have been waiting for for years - but since that’s half-written, it will definitely happen eventually!

16) What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm. I think I do characterisation well, particularly in dialogue - I try to imagine the characters speaking their lines to check that what I’ve written works. And sometimes I write really neat descriptive lines.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

White room syndrome for sure. I tend to hone in on the characters a lot and ignore the surroundings. Connective tissue - moving from one scene to another - can be a bit janky. Sometimes I can overdo facial expressions, and I rely on ‘hot’ and ‘cold’ a lot to describe all manner of feelings.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

This is a rogue q, haha. I have done it - Guillermo’s mum talks to him in Spanish - but my Spanish is secondary-school level so it’s not great. I did pre-emptively warn about it though, haha.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

As a kid, thinly-veiled Star Trek isekai that went nowhere. As an adult, WWDITS.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh my god. Too hard to choose. I love all my fics. With that said (and with significant recency bias), Sharp Teeth. I’m so proud of writing my first novel (ish) length fic, and it brought me such joy to write.

I’ll also forever love my first fic, Après Theâtre. I re-read it recently for the first time in a while and honestly laughed so much at my own fucking jokes. I think I really nailed the tone of the show and that makes me so happy!

[oveliagirlhaditright]

The Precursor to the Journey - A Kairi Day 2024 Fic

Summary: As Kairi meets two people from another world a few times while she's growing up--and also just grows up in general, and learns more about herself: maybe partly through some of these meetings, but also of course because of her friends Sora and Riku--it puts in place the puzzle pieces that are needed for the trio's eventual journey to start. Written for Kairi Day 2024. Oneshot. Written to both explore what Sora, Riku, and Kairi might have been like together as they grew, but also to somewhat give Kairi her own adventure pre-KH1, that wouldn't mess with canon.

The Precursor to the Journey

Kairi’s PoV

"Why are you here?" Kairi asked a mysterious blonde woman before her, pretty certain that she'd never seen her before, but also not entirely sure of that, either. Kairi was new to the Island, after all.

The woman smiled sweetly for Kairi’s question, it seemed to the five-year-old, but it took her a moment to answer the question. "I'm trying to decide if my decision to abdicate this role I’ve been given is a good one. Tell me, little one: If you had great power, would you give it to someone else?"

Kairi stared at the woman of medium height, definitely confused by the turn of events, as the wind blew and her shoulder-length hair brushed against her shoulders. She really had no idea what the lady was talking about. She was only five. But Kairi didn’t want to admit that she was lost, for she didn’t want to seem dumb. She was about to try and guess at the answer, when the girl seemed to understand that Kairi hadn’t gotten what she was trying to say and attempted it again with, “Would you give something special to someone else?”

“Hmm… Maybe a girl,” Kairi supposed. “I trust them more than mean boys, who have cooties.”

The curly-haired blonde laughed at that, as she stepped closer to Kairi in the sand and out of the shore of the Play Island. And Kairi knew she should have afraid for this—as one shouldn’t talk to strangers—but there was something about this woman that set her at ease.

“That sounds too much like me for comfort,” the woman said, almost seeming lost in her own memories. “And how rude of me to not introduce myself until now! I’m Delamer! But young one… while giving power to girls is fine—and I’d be okay with you ever wanting to do that, if it would somehow help you—is there not even one boy you’d think about sharing with?”

Kairi thought about it for a moment… and at first, she imagined that the answer was “no.” But then she remembered that a boy in her class, Sora—who she hadn’t liked at first, for he had knocked her into the water when their teacher had been teaching them how to fish (1)—had recently jumped into the ocean for her, to retrieve one of the fake nails she had dropped in there, when she had explained that it meant a lot to her since it was from her grandma.

Kairi explained the story to Delamer, and Delamer almost seemed to look… scared to Kairi for a moment. Or was it some other adult emotion Kairi couldn’t understand?

Finally, Delamer said, “Sora seems to remind me of someone that I know. Thank you, Kairi. You really helped me today. I think I will trust and give up this power. In the future… please stay safe and take care of yourself.”

“I’ll try t-” Kairi started, but Delamer was already gone. But what was there in her place, was a giant nailfile.

…

"I wanna make cookie dough," Kairi, at seven, told her adoptive mom, as she put up her hair that now reached just below her shoulders, so she could hopefully help with the task.

As Kairi loved cookie dough more than anything, she thought it would be a good treat for Sora.

But Kairi's mom frowned at her, as the two of them stood in their kitchen, and told Kairi, "You can't really do that, honey. I shouldn't give you the small bits of it that I do. And if you were to give it to Sora, it might give him salmonella."

Now it was Kairi's turn to frown. This had been her best idea, and now she had no clue what else to give her friend. It was hard not to cry at this turn of events, but Kairi fought against it—wanting to press on.

"What if we make cookies, with a little cookie dough on top?" Kairi begged.

And maybe there was something in her eyes or her tone of voice when Kairi had asked, because her mother suddenly relented with a sigh. "I guess there's less a chance for it to be harmful, if we just give Sora a tiny bit that way, than the tin you had been planning. Very well, Kairi."

Kairi beamed wider than she ever had in her life, and jumped up on a chair so she could help her mom with the baking.

And when she presented the cookies to Sora, she thought his own smile looked particularly radiant.

Dangus' PoV

Dangus—Delamer's love, who she had given her power to: though there was much more to the story than that—watched the girl, Kairi (nine now, he believed), as she talked to her friend Riku?

It sounded like Kairi was asking Riku for gift ideas, as she very much wanted to buy him something. But Riku was teasing her by asking if she really wanted to include him in an anniversary that was about her and Sora. Kairi countered by saying if he didn't want the keyboard she was very seriously thinking about getting him, just say so.

The whole thing was cute... And Dangus could understand why Delamer had chosen to speak to Kairi—and wanted to protect her—but part of him wished she hadn’t. He didn't want this power again. …It was too much for him.

Dangus was pulled out of his melancholy thoughts, when he noticed that Kairi was saying goodbye to Sora and Riku outside of their school now, and getting ready to head home. And that’s when it happened:

Water and lightning appeared out of nowhere, mixing together, until it formed the shape of someone Dangus knew all too well, heading straight for the girl!

Dangus began running towards Kairi, but he knew he wouldn't get there in time! So he used his magic to summon to Kairi the gift Delamer had given her years ago and threw it to her!

Just as the... the monster was closing in on Kairi, she first tied her hair that was at her waist into a bun—so the monster couldn’t use it against her—but then she woke up even further, and stabbed at the monster with the nailfile. And while said nailfile was the slightest bit wobbly—Delamer hadn't wanted to give a real weapon to a child, Dangus knew—it was enough to knock him off his feet. And then Dangus was there, and he defeated him with just a look (such was this cursed power he had)... and he hated to do it.

The moment she seemed to gather herself, Kairi looked at him like she'd seen a ghost. "You! You're like that girl... so it wasn't a dream."

"You thought it was a dream, even after Delamer magicked you this ridiculous nailfile?" Dangus laughed, taking Kairi's hand and helping her to her feet from where she’d fallen after having landing her blow on the monster.

"I ended up losing it, after my mom and I moved houses... thank you for bringing it back to me," Kairi said very sincerely. It somewhat baffled Dangus, because why would she care so much about an object that, just a second ago, she thought had been a dream. But there was definitely something about this girl. She seemed so… pure.

"You're more than welcome," Dangus said, suddenly more than charmed by Kairi, even though he should have been staying away from her for quite a few reasons.

"Are you from one of the other islands, or-"

And there was one of the reasons Dangus very much needed to leave. He didn't want to admit he was from another world, after all. But it was also part of the reason he needed to protect her. The Eye he had—that allowed him to see too much, if he allowed it (like someone else in her future with a certain eye)—spoke of an interesting future for this girl.

"...You could argue that I'm from an island. But Kairi, beware of certain people from your island and try to be safe." To try and prove his point, he walked the young girl home.

And once she was inside, Dangus put a strand of green hair behind his ear—getting it out of his brown eyes—and he quietly mourned that this girl would have such a hard fate. Why did so many girls that he knew have to suffer so much?

...

Kairi's PoV

Though Kairi appreciated what Dangus had tried to do for her (Delamer too, even though she barely remembered her now, since that encounter had happened so many years ago) she mostly put it out of her mind by twelve. After all, even if Dangus was right, she wasn't going to ruin her life by worrying about something that might not never come.

She was happy in life: she'd recently become a cheerleader at school; and she loved how it made her more active than she had been before, even if she'd still probably lose a contest with the ever-energetic Sora, Riku, Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka.

Kairi was actually on the way to some extra cheerleading practice at the school's gym now, and was getting ready to jump in her canoe in the Play Island to row there, when she saw Delamer and Dangus again!

At first, Kairi thought the sun was playing tricks on her (or maybe her hair [that was so long now, it reached her bottom] had gotten into her eyes and was obscuring her vision), and she rubbed her eyes to make the illusion go away. But no, it was really them: much like Delamer had been standing on the shore here the first time they met.

There was a part of Kairi that was a bit more cautious upon seeing them now, in knowing how badly her having met the strangers could have gone before… But she also couldn't deny they'd been good to her every time she'd seen them; and that really, she was happy to see them.

"Hey, you two! You look well! What brings you here?" Kairi asked, heading over to them with a wide smile on her face, feeling ever curious.

As she got closer to them, she noted that they were holding hands, but not overly affectionate like some older couples she'd seen here on the islands. She stored that information away for later.

"I'm surprised you're not with your friends. You were with that Sora and Riku when I met you. And when I talked to Delamer about it, she said you were just about to befriend Sora when you two met." was Dangus' rejoinder.

Kairi laughed. "The two of them are very dear to me, but we’re not literally joined at the hip. They might surprise me and support me at cheerleading practice today. But if not, we have plans to play after school tomorrow. So, what brings you two-"

"Kairi, there's a chance this will be the last time we'll see you," Delamer interrupted, seemingly giving up all pretenses. And when Sora would one day tell her how Leon had told him they "may never meet again, but they’d never forget each other," she would think of this moment that she had with these two. "Dangus and I have decided, for the good of the people, that it's best that no one reign like this. …But you must know a storm is coming."

"I guess it's a good thing I'm so good at swimming," Kairi said, getting worried now.

"No matter what happens, believe in yourself and be there for your friends," Dangus told her, with something in his eyes. And with him suddenly dropping his humor and getting pretty dire, too, he must have also decided that she needed to know whatever this was, and that they needed to wrap this up.

Kairi wasn't sure she could easily believe in herself, really (it seemed her friends were so much more talented than her), but she didn't want to let these two down down their last time here, so she said words she'd soon know well, "I will. Thanks for everything." And she took both of her friend’s hands and squeezed them, as they smiled warmly at her. Then, they were gone—soon leaving Kairi to wonder if she'd had any kind of journey at all.

But, oddly, it also left her with a thought that maybe she should cut her hair… if anything was really coming, she didn’t want her long hair used against her. Right?

And short hair was more mature, and she definitely thought she was becoming more that.

It was a thought, at least.

Mulling over a number of thoughts in her head—but deciding to file them later—Kairi reminded herself to take things one step at a time, and headed for her practice.

…

Sora’s PoV

“Kairi’s cut her hair,” Sora randomly brought up after he and Riku were done sparring for the day and were sitting on the paopu tree, looking out at the sunset. The thirteen-year-old Sora kicked his feet to and fro as he chewed on a grape popsicle and he waited almost with bated breath for Riku’s reaction to this.

Though, then again, if Sora really thought about it… he imagined that Kairi changing her hair wasn’t really that noteworthy. His and Riku’s best friend seemed to alter her tresses every year. Sometimes she even changed her look more than once a year, as she loved different hairstyles. But what really stood out to Sora, was that Kairi looked very tomboyish this time, and seemed to be acting it, too. She had even said-

“And she said that she’s down for any adventure we want to do. Which is cool, but what brought it up?” Riku asked from almost beneath Sora’s feet—from where he stood standing leaning against the tree trunk—with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, you already knew what I was going to tell you?! Why didn’t you tell me that, before I started acting like this was some breaking news?!” Sora pouted. Crossing his arms over his chest, upon somewhat scooching away from his best friend.

Idly, and somewhat jealously, he wondered if Riku had seen Kairi before he had. It was definitely a possibility, since the two’s houses were closer to each other’s. Sora tried to tell himself it didn’t matter. But ever since he’d gotten sick and the three of them hadn’t been able to go to his and Kairi’s eighth grade dance together like they’d planned to, and Riku and Kairi had just gone instead, Sora had found himself resenting some of the looks Riku and Kairi had been giving each other and the conversations they had had.

But he knew that now was not the time for that.

“But back to your question, Riku, if Kairi’s suddenly decided she wants to be more active, who are we to stop her?” Sora queried. He actually thought it was really cool. And he loved the idea that it might allow them to spend even more time with Kairi now.

“I suppose…” Riku allowed, fishing out a popsicle for himself from the cooler nearby and taking a bite of the lime treat before he continued his conversation with Sora. “But I just think there’s a little more to it, that’s all.”

As much as Sora somewhat hated to admit it—because he didn’t want Riku insinuating that Kairi would change her whole personality on a dime or anything like that—he couldn’t help feeling that his friend was right. Kairi had been somewhat… girlier in years past. But all of a sudden, it had seemed like she had wanted to prove she could rough and tumble with the best of them. And maybe this was just another evolution of that. But even if it was, Sora really didn’t see what the big deal was. He was enjoying seeing this new side of Kairi. And didn’t everyone somewhat change as they grew up?

“Her new haircut reminds me of how she looked when she showed up here when she was five…” Sora found himself muttering, barely even realizing he was speaking as he was pulled back into the memory.

It had been a somewhat dark night, but not entirely so. The falling stars and bright, full moon had turned what otherwise might have been blackness into a vast navy blue. Sora had watched it all from his bedroom window, transfixed. And just as what had looked like a rocket falling from the sky to his young eyes had headed for the islands. Then, he hadn’t been able to remain still any longer and had snuck outside to try and find where it had landed… only to find Kairi. Kairi and Riku both, for it had seemed Riku had had the same idea.

“What?” Riku asked, seemingly confused, pulling Sora out of his reverie.

“The night of the meteor shower when we met Kairi, remember?” Sora asked, finishing up his popsicle that had begun to melt onto his hands at this point. He licked what he could off his fingertips, and then rubbed what remained on his bare legs.

“Oh, right!” Riku exclaimed. A far-away look in his own eyes now as he reminisced. “It was so dark that night, it’s hard for me to recall what Kairi’s hair looked like in it. But I guess it was kind of similar to how it is now. Huh.”

Riku got a far-away look in his eyes again after he said that. And Sora was about to ask what was so great to daydream about that he couldn’t even pay attention to him, when the subject of their conversation made an appearance.

“Oh, popsicles. Yum! Did you save any for me?” Kairi asked, giving each of them a thousand-watt smile, before taking her own trademarked seat on the paopu tree. And if Sora swooned a little bit, and tried to hide it, he couldn’t exactly be blamed. He’d never seen a girl with such cute short hair, okay?

“Kairi, hi!” Sore exclaimed.

“Oh, hi, Kairi,” Riku started. Then, realizing what she’d said, he continued with, “Of course we did. There should be a few coconut popsicles in there just for you.”

Kairi began fishing in the cooler with smiling eyes. And it seemed to Sora, something as simple as coconut popsicles was like she’d won the lottery for Kairi.

The three of them then had a moment of comfortable silence together after Kairi got her popsicle (and maybe Sora and Riku got even more), and it felt like heaven to Sora. This was what it was all about.

“So did you guys hear the scandal that’s going on at school?” Kairi eventually said, as Sora and Riku looked at her with curious eyes. “Mr. Namana and the parents are arguing about what one divided by zero is. The parents think it’s one, while he maintains it’s zero… But, guys? I swore we learned that anything divided by zero is undefined, right? What’s even happening? We’re all going to have Mr. Namana next year and I’m scared for our education.”

Sora burst out laughing, wondering how Kairi always had the best stories.

But Riku put it the best, Sora thought, when he said, “Wow. Sounds like it’s going to be quite the adventure next year.”

“Sounds about right…” Sora voiced. But deep down, it was the kind of adventure he wanted with his friends. Always.

And he knew that as long as they were together, things would work out okay.

Author's Note: (1) It’s probably obvious, but Sora pushed her into the water by accident, though Kairi doesn’t realize that at first.

Delamer and Dangus are characters from a novel of mine. I don’t know if that novel will ever see the light of day (even if I love it), but at least they’re living here somewhat, I guess. Hopefully you guys can enjoy my babies somewhat (even with your limited knowledge of them, because I don’t want to spoil too much in case I do ever do anything with said book).

I’ve had this idea for a long time… Though I’ll admit that originally for Kairi Day, I actually wanted to make an amv for her, but I couldn’t download the song for it. So then I kind of rushed back to this fic—that I’ve had bits and pieces done of for years—and finished it as best as I could for my girl. But there was just no way I could let Kairi Day pass me by without doing something for her, so here is my contribution for her. Happy Kairi Day!

Edit: And if Kairi seems slightly closer to Sora at first in this fic, it’s because he’s in her grade (and Riku’s not, as he’s a year older) so she spends a bit more time with him that way, of course. But then when she starts hanging out with Sora after they become friends, Riku’s also there, and she gets to know him, and then they also become best friends.

[grey-gazania]

1, 11, 19 for the ask game?

@that-angry-noldo || questions for fanfic writers

1. Why do you write fanfiction?

It's fun! Fanfiction lets me explore the characters and worlds that I love in more depth than simply reading about them does. And especially for a book like The Silmarillion, where so much of what we're given in the text is more of a light sketch than a fully-realized portrait, fanfiction is an entertaining way to experiment with different character interpretations.

11. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

I write both, though I think I do write gen more often than shippy stuff. But I have a whole series about Caranthir and his wife, and multiple Fingon/Fingon's Wife and Fingon/Maedhros stories. Sometimes they're the same story, because I hate happiness.

19. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

I have so many OCs, it's not even funny. The ones I've spent the most time on are:

Parmacundë, who was my first Silmarillion OC. She's rather shy and introverted, a grade-A dweeb, and an archivist who handles government records at Tirion's royal archive. She and Caranthir meet as young apprentices (her at the archive, him at an accounting firm) and become friends and eventual spouses.

Ianneth, who has her own series and also features heavily in my Woman King AU (as she should, considering she's Gil-galad's mother). She's the daughter of Annael of Mithrim and the wife of Fingon. I love Fingon/Maedhros, but I also want Fingon to be Gil-galad's father. I'm not by an stretch of the imagination the first person to try to reconcile these things, but Ianneth was in many ways born of my frustration with the fact that, in so many stories where the M/M ship involves a het-partnered party, the feelings of the woman are completely discounted. She's ignored, or vilified, or even written out of the story altogether. I wanted to put the focus on the wife and give her a voice.

Galwen, a Nandorin/Avarin follower of the Sons of Feanor, who was saved by Amras as an adolescent from an orc attack that left her mute. I created her to be a minor antagonist in my Kidnap Fam multichap, and she proceeded to take on a life of her own and start demanding her own stories. She's a pain in my ass but I love her.

Tókhesh/Tavoreth, who is Ulfang's grandaughter and Bor's niece. She's the star of my First Age Easterlings WIP, which is the WIP that has given me the most agita in my life. She's young, but highly adept with languages, and she becomes the chief translator between Caranthir and Ulfang's people. I can't go into too much detail about her without spoiling the chapters I haven't written yet, so you'll just have to keep reading to find out more. :)

[ofwraithsandwords]

I'm working on an A/U fan fic about a distant cousin being adopted by Integra. I want to publish it on tumblr and need some technical help. Unlike most of you, I'm an older lady who isn't as computer savvy as you younger folk.

I'm writing it on MS Word on my laptop. What software should I transfer it to, in order to publish online?

I'm a little old lady who was involved in the 1980's goth scene. I'm proof that goths don't age out. I would appreciate any advice you can give. The story is written as a first-person diary by the young cousin.

Hey there!

First and foremost, I just want to say how touched I am that you're asking me for advice because I'm certainly no authority on writing or publishing works. Still, I'll answer your question to the best of my ability.

There's nothing wrong with using Microsoft Word for literary works such as fanfiction. I think the best path forward when it comes to writing software is to simply use what you're most comfortable with. If you're only familiar with Microsoft Word, then use Microsoft Word. It's a tried and true software that I've used countless times myself, especially when I was in school and university.

However, if you want to explore other avenues for software, you may be familiar with Google Docs. This is what I use myself for writing my fanfiction. If you have a gmail account, you should have access to Google Drive which is the storage file that contains helpful utilities like Google Docs. If you do not have a gmail account and have some other kind of email, you can still use Google Drive. Here's a link to directions on how to use your existing email to create a Google Account.

Here are the icons for Google Drive and Google Docs, respectively:

To try and simplify, Drive is a folder and Docs is the document inside the folder. You'll also have access to other tools as well, but you don't have to worry about those; I'm just focusing on Docs.

I'll stop there because I don't wish to insult your intelligence in case you're already quite familiar with or have Google Docs. But if you're not and you need any more guidance, please do not hesitate to reach out again! You can even DM me if you so wish.

Other than Microsoft Word or Google Docs, I don't really use any other writing software. I invite anyone who uses any other writing software to reblog this post with their insight and/or advice.

As far as publishing your work goes, if you're to publishing your fanfiction on Tumblr, you should be able to copy and paste the diary entries from Microsoft Word or whatever software you're using into a post and do it that way. Some people get fancy with it, but it's absolutely not necessary; it's just a preference and for aesthetic reasons. Be sure to tag your post with #hellsing and #fanfiction at the very least!

I'm also going to mention Archive Of Our Own (AO3) here as well. You've probably heard of this site too. I've only been on it for...4 or 5 years? And I won't lie to you, learning how to properly format my chapters using AO3's post function took some time. But if you have any interest at all in trying to use AO3, send in another ask or DM me and I'll help you as much as I can. In the meantime, I hope that I at least provided some insight and gave you the answer you were looking for!

On a different note, this fanfiction of yours sounds really intriguing! You don't get that many dairy entry fanfics, especially in the Hellsing fandom. Is it related to how Bram Stoker wrote his dairy entries in Dracula by any chance?

I wish you well on writing this fanfiction! Be sure to send me another ask or shoot me a message when you do publish it!

[tirfpikachu]

hiiii ^w^" things got so hectic omfg. i've been struggling to glowup as an adult phew!!! trying to have more server streams of me Getting Shit Done and film them for later youtube vlogs. i got so caught up in fumbling with so many household things and trying to juggle all the awesome projects i've been working on with server fwiends. i feel like there's so much i can accomplish but it's all one big puzzle and i'm trying not to slip and fall flat on my face again. it's a constant battle with me and my dumb genius brain.

rambling some more ic <3

i'm also still getting the hang of managing a server that keeps growing bigger! i want to do things so good, i care about my server gyns so much. but i don't want to be flaky in here either, bc the folks in here mean the world to me too. y'all give me hope. i got a bit exhausted from the doom and gloom of my radblr dash, but i don't want to give up. i can't. i've been trying to take lil breaks on my alternate account @animefem where my dash isn't so politically intense and angsty. i need to hold onto hope too! i need a space where i follow conflicting voices to draw my own conclusions and research for my writing, but i also need to have a less stressful space to see positive things too. maybe i should just follow more fandom & positive blogs...? i'm open to recs that are tirf-friendly! i'm trying super duper hard not to burnout as an activist but it gets rly tough. i started feeling overwhelmed and like anytime i logged on it was gonna be a battle everytime. but i don't want that!

i think i should start posting more about my OCs and my sapphic fiction and poetry etc, because i've been doing so much conflict based activism and i need a softer outlet creatively. i'm a bit worried about disappointing people who are coming here for my deep political analysis stuff... i'll make sure to use a tag that y'all can block. i need to get over my fear of annoying others, that's counterproductive and i legit do not need to do it. this is MY blog and my lil corner of the web, i can do whatever the heck i want. pls remember you can block my tags if it gets too much, but i'll try to loosen up a bit and be less strict about what i post. i also want to add positivity to the world!! there are so many forms of activism i wanna explore, and meaningful fiction as well. i'm going to be more active on my ao3 as well.

btw here's my ao3 >w>

There's only a few abandoned fics right now, but I set up something where I can put one-shots of my OCs and rambles about my story!

[sometimes-she-becomes-it]

do u have any Uucest fix recs? i cant find any good ones idk why

Ohhhhh boy. Oooohhhhh do *I*. *Do I*.

Yes. Yes I do.

Most of these are on ao3, btw!

First I have to start with my Absolute Favorite Uucest Fic Of All Time. This fic is so good folks! Like so very very good. It is awesome!!!! This fic is what made me actually *like* Uucest, what led to me being as obsessed with it as I am and not just being "eh I guess it's fine". This entire blog? Is because of this fic. All the drabbles I've written, the stuff I've reblogged to keep in my personal archive. All of it. Everything Just because of this one fic. But gog is a hell of a fic!

Onto the stuff I like about it! It has a more work less healthy Uucest dynamic. Like, they're on even grounds, instead of it being purely submissive Callie/Dominant Caliborn as I usually find it. This fic shaped what I would consider a healthy Uucest dynamic to be. But it doesn't *just* have Uucest! It also has Hal+Callie interactions which I think are very much worthwhile! It involves Callie and Cal playing Sburb together. I won't spoil too much, but it is very very good. Although the ship starts out seemingly unrequited on calliope's side, there still seems to be a glimmer of hope by the ending.

Seriously, this fic is so good guys. Also check out the author's fanfictions too. Even if that fic isn't to your liking, they have other pics about other characters which I absolutely adore and might be worth checking out.

Now, in no particular order!

Next is Alternate, a fic about Alternate Caliborn after his death at the hands of Alt!Calliope. I like this one bc it goes a bit into the ideas of cherub culture and such? Which I think is very very interesting I love exploring cherub culture way more people should do it. It also has some dirkuu in it? But it's mostly cherub stuff for now. It does have gore and... Well, the general stuff one would come to expect from a Caliborn centered fic. I still think it is very good tho.

GIVE ME A HAND (NOT LIKE THAT YOu DEGENERATE) is also one of my favorite fics. It's not *directly* Uucest, but it involves caliborn """asking""" (ordering) dirk to do sexual roleplay as calliope so caliborn can jack off to it. So I think it counts? I come back to reread it every once win a while. It is very good. Also has an exploration of how caliborn perceives his and his sister's hatefulness dynamic to be? It's just a few lines but still. Good.

calthisisUs.PNG by mouserato. Basically the two siblings playing a game where caliborn asks Callie questions about her ermmmm redder fantasies. And then he jacks off to the answers. Told through pesterlogs but you can still feel the sheer tension between these two. The comments also have some insights on the author's writing thought process in case that is something you might be interested in!

Actually just read everything by Mouserato. Their fics are very very good!!! Here, lightning round on their fics and why I like them

Acceptance I have read this fic like 5 times already. show no signs of stopping. It involves caliborn in his session struggling to progress, and slowly dealing with his grief over what he did to calliope. I like focus where caliborn needs Callie as much as she needs him, so I enjoy this one quite a lot.

June 28, 1998 technically a flashback fic for another work but it works well enough on its own without context from the other fic. It deal with caliborn's slow rising attraction for calliope as he deals with puberty. I do not want to give off spoilers though, but I would recommend you read the tags very carefully, alright? Thank you.

The Task hadn't been updated in a while, but I like the way Callie acts in this fic. Just two chapters tho which is unfortunate. Seems discontinued.

There are other pics they have but those are Emy favorites!

Onto other authors-

A Different Kind of Game is a strip chess fic and ummm. The tension here??? Like, I'm asexual as the day is long but this is sooo well written!! At least in my opinion.

Red is just. A very good fic. I like how Callie behaves in this one. It is a bit short though, so not much to say.

I am a bit tired rn so I might reblogs this later with more additions, but those are the ones I can think of at the current moment.

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Ok first I‘ll attempt to write a couple regular comments so u don’t have to scroll to the end to check 😂 (also, if any of this sounds sarcastic it’s not lol idk why I get that a lot but apparently I give off that vibe lmao)

This fic was a delightful read 😍. Never thought that male masturbation fantasies could be described in such a poetic way tbh.

Like, unsolicited communication from horny dudes is always unpleasant but…

NOT GONNA LIE, if I received this kind of quality writing filled with evocative imagery instead of a dick pic, I’d be like, “dang!! ok king, drop your A03 link and we’ll talk 🙂”

Some jokes(?) under the cut 🤔

shoutout to @navybrat817 for showing me how to do it properly lol this is my first successful cut in like 800 Tumblr posts 😭

Do y’all ever think, “huh, I wonder how they came up with that?” But only want responses with wrong answers?

Well, I’m here with all the incorrect data you could possibly want bc I actually feel like a ton of stuff was accidentally invented by some dude jacking off and then later ppl had to come up with a more PR appropriate reason like, “oh, I was inspired by my kid’s crayon drawing or something” 🙄

So, inspired by this fic, here are some onion-style news headlines/blurbs about the origin of various things. 🙃

⚠️My usual disclaimer: nervous attempts at humour = my love language and the only way I know how to show appreciation for things I enjoy. 😅

he wasn’t able to make heads or tales out of why any creator might give two shits about whether or not Steve fucks his hand.

Ancient texts reveal the origin of Atheism! Recently, anthropologists were able to decipher age-old inscriptions describing how Some Dude jerked off 59 times without suffering god’s wrath, and his subsequent realization that there is no pervert in the sky. This is the earliest reference to Atheism we have been able to find in our records.

All of that unbridled testosterone crawls right up behind his eyes and his brain fizzles at the edges, agitated like an animal in a cage.

Smashing Pumpkins superfans come forth with new theory

Fans now believe the inspiration for the bands iconic song “Bullet with Butterfly Wings”, was actually the pent up desire to jerk off. Readers might recognize this song from the iconic line which spawned the following mildly successful meme:

but sometimes he’ll spiral into a hundred other videos and he’s stayed up one (or five) too many nights doing that.

From the Archives: Local Man experiences fatigue because he stays up late watching too much porn.

Although his work performance has suffered as a result, he still received a promotion due to his status of being a white guy in 1985. Today, we celebrate the passing of the late great inventor of the 2x playback speed button.

all he’s got is about forty-five minutes before bed

Area Man complains about not having enough hours in the day to masturbate.

Daylight Savings Time is created; farmers take the blame.

Your weight, a perfect amount of pressure crawling on top of him, mapping out the expanse of his chest.

Exclusive interview with the inventor of the weighted blanket!

Confident Man explains how he longed to feel the soul crushing pressure of existence that ordinary people experience every night.

What’s he going to think about tonight?

Inside sources reveal that the tagline for a popular children’s show was created by a Horny Man.

The long, graceful shape of your fingers exploring his torso

Self-proclaimed Artist reveals new “erotic”sculpture

Neighborhood residents complain about “creepy” and “bizzare” statue.

His hips move in careful circles

Whose Hips Should we Trust?

Man claiming to be an “experienced masturbator” argues that Shakira “stole his moves” and plans to sue the “Hips Don’t Lie” singer in the latest wave of plagiarism lawsuits.

shattering because he’ll have gotten past your defenses,

Single Man complains that the ladies don’t appreciate his sports analogies during sex.

Feels that women should be more accepting of his fixation on college football.

Steve’s mind races through each position— every arrangement of your arms and legs

Man claiming to be the inventor of the popular party game “Twister” submits video evidence

Geriatric judge rushed to ER for cardiac surgery after footage of an orgy taking place on what appears to be a carpet with a polka dot pattern is shown in court.

him behind the wheel taking you closer to that cliff’s edge.

Science Spotlight: The Man Behind the Design

Engineer who pioneered the design for guard rails describes how the idea originated from his desire to quell homicidal fantasies about ex-wife.

You’d cry, Steve, oh—my god—oh my god—feels so good, Steve. Fuck me harder, please. However you want—whatever you want, I promise.

More Sorrows for Shakira

Pop sensation Shakira is in the news again after disgruntled fan accuses the “Whenever, Wherever” singer of taking inspiration from his self-insert fan fiction without giving credit.

You’d shake, and shake, and shake and Steve— he falls.

Area Man arrested for indecent exposure pleads not guilty in court

Serving as his own counsel, the accused claims he was merely making a TikTok dance tutorial based on Taylor Swift’s hit single “Shake It Off”, and cites his right to freedom of expression.

Spun out, headfirst, off the steepest bluff of his inventions and crashes into open waves beneath.

Former Psychologist Loses License

Reports show that several patients complained of inappropriate groping during “visualization exercise” intended to overcome fear of heights.

your entire being an unprimed canvas waiting for his splatter.

Drunk man tries to pass off pornographic screenshots of various women as original Jackson Pollock paintings on eBay.

Pollock was an American painter known for his “drip technique” of pouring paint onto the canvas.

hips still moving, back still arched,

Local Man Banned From 3rd Gym in the Area

This ban, as the ones before, is the result of several instances where he was caught naked, “demonstrating” the barbell glute bridge to other members of the fitness club.

He nudges hair off his forehead with the back of his clean hand

Man claiming to be an “environmentalist” develops bad reputation on Tinder

Past hookups report that he insists on giving women “facials”, but freaks out if any bodily fluids come near his own face. In response, Man states that having to wash his hair after sex is “wasting water”.

feels like coming up for breath after a drowning-- feels beyond good.

Lifeguards Frustrated by Neighbourhood Creep

Lifeguards at the community centre express concerns about local man who uses pool to practice autoerotic asphyxiation. Sources tell us management insists they are obligated to resuscitate him each time for legal reasons.

The text post about “ your fav is fucking his fist rn thinking of you” please lord let it be for Steve ( I’m. Late I know)

a/n: heheh it is :) 1.5k words of male masturbation ayyye. also, if you have not already, go check out @heavenbarnes’ ficlet, which haunts me everyday. please stop reading if you are not 18+

brooklyn after dark masterlist

slow hands*

Steve jerks off— a lot.

Even before the serum, when he was just any other violently hormonal, grass-fed, free-range human boy, instinct couldn’t be denied. Even after a long period of reflection during his catechism days, he wasn’t able to make heads or tales out of why any creator might give two shits about whether or not Steve fucks his hand.

Now as a whopping 200-pound slab of grade-A, laboratory-engineered, serum-enhanced super-soldier, if he doesn’t pump one out every twenty-four hours, it’s hard to focus on much else. All of that unbridled testosterone crawls right up behind his eyes and his brain fizzles at the edges, agitated like an animal in a cage.

(So, although it’s mostly pleasure, it’s also necessity.)

He knows that it’s best before bed because early mornings or while showering requires working within the constraints of a ticking clock; if he’s got a packed schedule and needs a quick rub, fine, but not his favorite.

He knows that he likes certain activities, and if he’s looking at porn, specific categories and maybe a few performers will fit a niche—but sometimes he’ll spiral into a hundred other videos and he’s stayed up one (or five) too many nights doing that.

More than anything, Steve knows nothing beats his imagination, and he knows the best lies you can tell are ones with a bit of truth attached to them.

So, he plays a little game.

He thinks about you.  

Cheeky you, who’s always teasing him about taking life too seriously. So prim and proper, Steve, you purr, always Mr. Punctual. Aren’t you tired of being nice? Loosen up—go dancing, meet a girl, have a one-night stand; fuck with the lights on for once.

Hm. Sure he’d like to, but all he’s got is about forty-five minutes before bed because he’s frankly too busy (see: stubborn, see: not interested in just any girl) for anything else.

For forty-five minutes, Steve takes a moment of truth and runs warp speed into the burning sunset with it.

The time you put your hand in his hair to fix a flyaway before a press conference—what if you gripped it hard, instead? Your candy pink lip gloss on Friday evening—what if it smudged off on his jaw, his collar, his eager cock? How you looked lifting out of the pool with rivulets of water dribbling into the hollow of your throat—what if he pressed his cheek to it, drank from it?

(The expression that might cross your face when you realize Steve would very much like to fuck you with the lights on.)

When you kissed him on that mission in Thailand, sliding into his lap to hide the both of you in a corner nook of a restaurant. The taste of sweetened coffee passed from your mouth to his, and he couldn’t help but dart his tongue out. You playfully scolded him about taking advantage of a dangerous situation (it wasn’t that dangerous), and despite all your usual attitude, it was surprisingly cute how you couldn’t make eye contact afterwards, making him want to kiss you again just to figure you out.

Last night—when you smiled, the glimmer in your eyes like a sliver of moonlit coin and if he blinked at the wrong time, he might have missed it. Your breathy laugh, your little giggle, how you raggedly pant while you spar, he thinks about those sounds mingled with his name. Your weight, a perfect amount of pressure crawling on top of him, mapping out the expanse of his chest.

He’d be happy just to watch, finally able to see you in glimpses not bordering voyeuristic like when you zip up in the hangar or concerned when you peel off Kevlar layers smudged with gunpowder. No, you’d be relaxed and tangible, full and felt—breasts, waist, belly, the sides of your hips as you straddle him, pulling his hands toward your body and letting him touch you.

Steve sighs into the darkness of his room, sweats shucked off, lube-slick hand feeling for his already aching cock. What’s he going to think about tonight? The small of your back when you lean over the pool table? The long, graceful shape of your fingers exploring his torso? Your face dazed, tipsy-tinged after a few drinks and sweet on his shoulder?

(He would like more of that. He could make you look like that if you ever asked.)

His hips move in careful circles, testing his grip, nudging at the tunnel of his fist like how your pussy would resist the first thrust until he wedges his way past it, slipping the head of his cock into your warmth. You’d be so, so warm. So soft and tight and perfectly fitted around him.

“Ah, fuck,” Steve mutters, eyes squeezed shut.  

He fucks into his fist, the sound of slick gushing out like wet slaps, like the hot clutch of noise your tight hole would make as he’d stretch it out—as he’d stretch you out.

He’s panting harder. You‘d look breathtaking on all fours, head turned around to see him rutting inside, jaw slack in disbelief that your body could keep taking him like this, like you could break any moment.  

The pretty, pretty whimpers at the harsh punctuation of every thrust. They’d tear loose from your throat and you wouldn’t be able to bite them down anymore. You could unravel because of him—shattering because he’ll have gotten past your defenses, gotten so deep you could do nothing but arch back for more, needing him further, needing him to know you how nobody else knows you.

Steve’s mind races through each position— every arrangement of your arms and legs in ways you’d give into because he would make the burn delicious, blurring discomfort into pleasure, and how you wouldn’t care if it might hurt because desire would be the drive— him behind the wheel taking you closer to that cliff’s edge.

He’s peeling off into the horizon now, moaning, bucking carelessly, blinded by the bright sun, by the white threatening to explode behind his eyes.

“Uhhhnn—” he looks down at his throbbing cock, swollen with friction and fiction, his other hand rolling the tender skin of his sac between his fingers. He squeezes a hair trigger tighter, in pulses, mimicking how you’d feel close to coming, begging for his release to fill you. Your hands gripping his hair for purchase, hard and frenzied, the scrape of your nails on his scalp. And finally, the abandoned, purely physical response of your body during orgasm, the undeniable wrecked wail of his name.

He’d be rough and gentle all at once, he’d make you taste yourself, clean up the mess you’ve made on him, and then he’d kiss it out of your mouth when he fucks you again. You’d be sore already, and sore the next day. He’d want to leave you aching, shuddering, babbling and delirious for more, for only him.

You’d cry, Steve, oh—my god—oh my god—feels so good, Steve. Fuck me harder, please. However you want—whatever you want, I promise.

You’d suck on his fingers, bite down when it became too much, too good. You’d shake, and shake, and shake and Steve— he falls.

Spun out, headfirst, off the steepest bluff of his inventions and crashes into open waves beneath. Your moaning mouth, your soaked cunt, your entire being an unprimed canvas waiting for his splatter.

And it’d be perfect.  

He comes in ropes, gasping into the reverberating echo of his own breath, hips still moving, back still arched, wet slick dripping down into his fist where he keeps going, using it as another coat of lube. Maybe you’d squirt. Maybe you’d put your face in your hands, embarrassed, or maybe you’d lose all control and he’ll have to hold you up.  

The second wave comes fast and better than the first.

The third, easy, only tinged with a prickle of rawness that makes his toes curl.  

Steve’s chest is sweat-slick and heaving, heat rising off his body as he evens out, throat murmuring the syllables of your name in yearning. He nudges hair off his forehead with the back of his clean hand, and then he checks his clock.

Back to reality, forty-five minutes on the dot tells him he’s still punctual, as you say.

He cleans up, stretching his back as he ambles to the restroom before returning to bed, satisfied. And when Steve tucks himself in for another peaceful night’s sleep, he wonders what you do in the privacy of darkness and if your ritual is anything like his own.

Do you shuck off your lounge clothes? Do you fuck yourself beneath layers of covers with your fingers? A toy? Grab your tits and put those same fingers in your mouth? Do you think about someone—do you think about him? His dick is still half-hard, half-raring for another session because the fourth and fifth time, when it hurts even worse, feels like coming up for breath after a drowning-- feels beyond good.

He’ll think about you some more tomorrow.  

(He’ll think about making you come four or five times.)