#people really let him hit cus hes goofy oh god!!!!!

[nashvillethotchicken]

Lestat being harlequin not lelio. A romantic lover and trickster vs a friendly gay loverboy oh my god I'm sick

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Tendou NSFW alphabet

No one Requested this but I wrote it anyway

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He lightens the mood the the best of his abilities. He can be pretty mean durring sex so he makes sure you laugh a little and know that he really does love you. also lots of cuddles.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hair!! He likes how it stands out both because its color and becuase of how he spikes it up. Mostly he likes his hair because you like his hair. you’re always playing with it and scratching his scalp, it melts him. 

On you he likes your hands. they are wayyyy smaller than his and just so cute!! he will be holding your hand 25/8 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

loves loves loves to watch his cum drip off of you. His cum is a little wattery so it runs and drips every damn where. he loves to bust over your chest and watch you try and  to catch it all as to not make a mess but its too late his cum is all over the place and you should probably wash the sheets. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves to make you drool. kinda gross but here me out. its because it’s gross that Tendou is into it. He will put his fingers in your mouth just to feel you drool down the side of his hand or make you choke on his cock just to see your spit dribble down your chin. gets him rock hard everytime. 

You get your wisdom teeth pulled and you end up drooling a little in recovery and Tendou is trying so hard to be a good boyfriend and take care of you but he’s turned on as fuck. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very. in fact he’s probably a virgin when the two of you meet. Most people are scared of him, or just think he’s weird so unless it’s like a one night stand he’s probably never done the deed before. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

something like this where he’s stratling one leg then has the other pressed to his chest. He likes seeing your face when you have sex so he can stick fingers in your mouth and he also likes that this position hleps him hit all the sensitive spots inside of you. 

that being said Tendou is into some weird shit so if you are flexable he’s going to put your ass in some straight up bonkers poses while you two fuck

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

oh you KNOW he’s cracking jokes the whole time wich is kind of jarring because he is also belittling you all the time so he might give you whiplash

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Got into manscaping as a joke and is very poud that he has the prettiest pubes on the team also yes the whole team has seen his pubes because Tendou. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Not very romantic tbh like I said he’s into degrading the fuck out of you and he’s got truble expressing how much he loves you at the best of times so don’t expect him to scatter roses for you or something </3

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

all the time babie. he’s horny all day everyday and also jerking off just helps him relieve stress so he’ll do it even if he isn’t in the mood. Not ashamed if you catch him either if anything he enjoys you watching. very into mutual masturbation as well. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

BDSM- Tendou is a sadist. that's it that’s the post. Tendou lives to see you crying or in pain that he caused. it’s just so much fun spaking you then belittling you and humilating you for getting off on it of course this is made all the better becuase you like it just as much as him.

He also loves making a reall mess of you, your hair will be tangled, any makeup you were wearing smudged and your whole body trembling as it’s covered in unnameable fluids. in Tendou’s eyes you’ve never looked better.

letex- Is this a kink? I think so. Tendou loves seeing you in tight-fitting black letex. he loves watching you jiggle in the tight fitting outfit and how your plump skin fills the costume perfectly, and if you were to dom him you better do it in a letex dominetrix suit 

food play- please imagine chocolatier Tendou pouring melted choclate all over your body so he can lick it up. Like I said he loves to make a mess of you. whipped cream, carmel, strawberries, icecream, Tendou would use you as a buffet table tbh 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

in theory he likes doing it outside, thinks its romantic to blow your back out under the open night sky, but  tbh it’s hard to have kinky sex outside so he usally holds off on sex to the bedroom.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when you use your “baby voice” like your voice pitches up and you hit him with the pout and the puppy dog eyes and he is putty in your hands. one time you found a stray kitty and started cooing over it as the poor thing. Needless to say, tendou had never been so jelous of a cat before. God forbid you baby Goshiki that way

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

not into roleplay He thinks it’s just cringey to pretend to be someone you’re not and it just takes him out of the experience. He also isn’t really big on sharing. He may threaten to let the whole world see you at your sluttiest if he’s humiliating you, but he’s bluffing that is a sight for his eyes only.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

tbh? not into oral that much. Not that he would ever turn down a blow job mind you, bt he would rather fuck you properly or just jerk himself off. 

that being said he still goes down on you fairly offten. He’s a big tease and loves to torture you with his tounge edging you over and over again. or tease you for humping his face like a desprate little slut. He also likes it when you sit on his face, it just feels intemet you know? it’s also a good way to show his control over you. Even though techincally you are setting the pace as you ride him, you still do what he asks cus your obedient 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends. if he’s still in teasing mode, he’ll be painfully slow, until you beg him to speed up, wich he will of course almost brakeing the bed in the process and if you tell him to slow down he’ll go back to slow and teasing. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t like to have a full quicky but he will absolutely pull you aside to get you worked up before leaving you high and dry. before pouncing on you when you have a little more privacy. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s down for pretty much anything he’s pretty chill when you bring something up you want to try and always makes sure to bring up anything he wants to do in advance to make sure you’re comfortable and onboard. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

in the beginning he has no stamina homeboy busts in like a minute flat lucky for you he is willing to train and he can go for rounds on end imma say this for every one of these boys stg but his stamina is through the roof never going to stop having sex just because he’s tired. and if he is feeling low energy it manifests with less kinks rather than less sex. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

HA. yeah <3. Ushi found his box of sex toys once and hasn’t recovered since. Ball gags, nipple clamps, and handcuffs are some of Tendou’s personal favorites. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Do I even have to say it? is it even really sex with Tendou if he doesn’t make you beg?

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not loud but he talks a lot. He looms over your body and mummers into your ear all the dirty things hes going to do to you, or wants to do. he’s also highkey going to mock you if you’re too loud 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

When he gets drunk he gets very sweet and clingy he also gets very touchy and drunk Tendou is one of the only times you’ll have sweet sex with him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

his cock is very long with a redish purplish tip. He has a small case of pencil dick cus it’s not very gurthy rip Tendou

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high he wants you every day basically whenever you’re horny it’s safe to assume Tendou is also in the mood. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

like I said he dones’t get sleepy after sex really, but he does like to cuddle and he likes to watch you sleep while you’re curled up in his arms. 100% kisses your head while you sleep. 

[sasukebarmitzvah]

watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog

original

took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy

Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns

this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog

DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade

**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**

lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of

shippuden

heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday

distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!

BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple

closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle

SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..

signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(

this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes

DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.

this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…

newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach

i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare

i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE

Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end

SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot

ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…

SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((

another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at

LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace

blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism

i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL

ok im done

[calmofpetrichor]

Band of Brother rewatch - Currahee!

Side note: I wouldve loved to interview the veterans or at least talk to them about their lives and when i say omg i love them i mean it with the upmost respect and theyre all heroes in my eyes.

Eugene roe who hurt you

Careful with that knifey, dont want any stabby yet

The shot of them praying is so visually pleasing and just makes the whole "omg i could be about to die" feeling so much more real

Their cam cream is all so different and it kinda reflects how they are as a person like guarneres just smeared all over, roes is kinda more specific and speirs is just like three fingers ran down his face proper badass style

Guarnere is bout to fight someone

Winters and nixon swaggering along together looking fiiine

Happy hour is every hour for nixon

We'll go to chicago. I'll take you there. WHEN WILL A MARRIED EVER

Nixons smile gives me life

You PEOPLE are at the POSITION of ATTENTION

George luz sounds terrified when he says luz george i love him okay

Private bullshit omg😂

Percontes so smol he must be protected

EUGENE

BUTTS (the barrel) but also liptons. Damn.

EUGENE

Walking in style easy company

I am here for all the liebgott sass

What company is this? Not so easy company

I cant even walk to the fridge without being tired these men were made outta steel. Respect🤘🏻

YAS WINTERS BEING A FAB LEADER AND CHEERING THEM ON YOU GO WINTERS

EUGENE (can u tell whos my fave i dont think u can)

"Lieutenant sobel does not hate easy company private randleman. He just hates you." "Thankyou sir."

Winters saying what sobel says but in a different way reminds me of when you copy your friends essay but change it up slightly

Mmmmmm mess hall food

"Why them?" "It was their turn."

Winters' "over as a team"

This scene really shows what bob is all about lowkey gives me boosgumps (i meant goosebumps but i couldnt stop laughing at boosgumps so imma keep it in)

"Uh its a can of peaches sir"

WINTERS' TINY SMILE OMG

"Lieutenant winters?" *both winters and nixon turn around*

"I like spaghetti" suuuuuuuure sobel you like it cus it reminds you of snakes and thats how youre acting pal. Snek.

Everytime i watch this i want to eat spaghetti

EUGENE

"this aint spaghetti. This is army noodles with ketchup"

Guarnere knew it twas too good to be true

George luz starting a lil sing along sesh good man keep the morale up

ZIM ZAM GODDAMN WE'RE AIRBORN INFANTRY

YAS GUARNERE so fine

A lot of moods portrayed in percontes face in like 5 seconds

"Corporal toye. There will be no leaning in my company. Are those dusty jumpwings? How dyou expect to slay the huns with dust on your jumpwings?!"

Fun fact joe toye was originally goan be a medic and trained and stuff but saw paratroopers got more money so signed himself up😂

Leibgott serving looooooks

Sobels like an excited 8 year old. He hits winters and then goes "lets just get em" with big ol wide eyes

EUGENE (yup im gonna do this all the time)

Their faces in this scene are golden

EUGENE (told you)

The troublesome threesome

Nixon gives sobel so much shade

Joe toye and joe liebgott lookin oh so gooood

Im always fumbling with grenades same liebgott same

"Going my way? Wherever the train takes me"

"If i thought youd drink it i wouldnt offer it to you"

Look at lil harry all sleepy

Blithe!!!!

Fun fact: blithe didnt actually get shot in the neck, he was hit in the shoulder and didnt die from his wounds.

Joe toyes whole speechy bit here i could put this on loop and fall asleep dreaming sweet dreams.

"Really? Its hot in africa?" "Shaddap"

Luz climbing the bunks is insanely satisfying for some reason

Wuh oh liebgotts comin in hot

Fun fact liebgott was actually roman catholic, it even said so on his dogtag but he found it funny everyone thought he was a jew so he didnt object

Theyre basically just huggin for like 3 seconds

Those two playing cards while everything goes down around them is so relatable

"Nooooo you wanna kill 'im!!"

Shiftaaaayy

Ah wam bam bam

Omg this bit gives me life and the fact it actually happens is just so much better

Fun fact Luz actually didnt get caught for this cus nobody wanted to "rat him out"

"There should be no fence here." "Uh... we could go over it sir"

"Hey luz. Can you do major horton?" "Does a wild bear crap in the woods son?"

Luzs smile:')

Tipper knows whats up. He smiling real goofy

"What. is the god...damn hoooold up mistersobel?"

The way winters manages to command his men so well. So precise. So beautiful.

"Youve done it now yanks. Youve captured me."

Winters chuckle😂

Omg malarkey and perconte in those vests is too much

Oi pal dont just drive through a game of basketball

Nixons "mmhm" to evans

"For crying out loud. Misspelled court martial"

Fun fact Winters actually didnt say any of this to sobel, he just took sobels nonsense quietly but still requested a trail by court martial

"May i borrow your pen sir" *imediately takes pen out of sobels hand*

Sobel ws such a bad leader in the eyes of the men that this group of ncos all refused to serve in easy company even though it meant they could be killed.

In formation

Winters afection for easy. "Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men"

Nixons french

EUGENE

I could use some brass knuckles

EUGENE (its a reflex at this point)

Liebgott pls no spit

DONT USE THE LEG BAGS JUST CUS THE ENGLISH TROOPS USE THEM stick to your guts

"Tonaaaght is the naaahgt..... of nights."

EUGENE

Theres always one guy who talks during a film

Round of applause for frank j hughes for that reaction

Somber music for a somber mood

DOC ROE

Winters looks at them all in the eye after helping them up and i want to know if the extra long shot of roe and winters hands was done on purpose or....

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Chapter 9: Lonesome Day

Story: It’s Not My Fault

Title - Lonesome Day by Bruce Springteen

Also on Archive of Our Own

For other chapters - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |

Eddie was sitting at his desk trying to finish his homework. It was the first day of winter break and he desperately wanted to get everything done, so he would not have to worry about it later. He was taking almost all AP courses and his teachers were merciless with their assignments. His friends tried to get him to hang out that night, but he turned them down. A couple hours into studying, he heard the phone distantly downstairs and wondered who might be calling. 

Probably one of my aunts. Eddie thought vaguely. He stared at the Calculus problem in front of him and cursed because he could not find his notes on how to solve it. He would have to call Richie or Stanley later for help. 

“Eddie bear!” His mother called. 

“Yeah, Ma?!” Eddie yelled back still looking at his notes. 

“Tozier is on the phone!” She shouted back. 

“Ok! I will be there in a minute.” He put his pencil down and got up stretching. 

“You shouldn’t keep people waiting, even if they are a Tozier.” He could hear her say. Eddie smiled to himself. As much as his mother hated to admit it, she was a little entertained by Richie. He probably chatted her up in that charismatic way he does before she finally called Eddie down. She did not like Richie per se but thought he was goofy. 

Eddie grabbed a sweater from his closet because he knew the kitchen would be freezing. He put on socks and took a blanket to sling around his shoulders. He bounded down the stairs and sat at the kitchen table picking up the phone. 

“Hey Richie,” He said trying to keep his excitement down. Richie’s loud voice came through the receiver, “Hey Candy Cane! Keeping me wanting and waiting as usual. You are the biggest tease.” Eddie rolled his eyes but his stomach did backflips at hearing Richie’s voice. 

“It is cold in my kitchen, so I had to put on some fucking layers, you idiot.” He could not keep the smile out of his voice even if he tried. 

Eddie knew Richie had a smirk plastered on his face as he said, “Is that so. What are you wearing, Eds? Something sexy I hope.” 

“Don’t call me, Eds.” He grumbled lamely. “I bet you are wearing a sweater that drowns you and fuzzy socks. My favorite look for you. It is so cute.” 

Richie started making kissy noises that Eddie could only imagine made him look like a doofus. 

“You don’t know my life and I am not cu - ” Eddie stopped himself from saying ‘cute’ in case his mother could hear him. 

“You are a terrible liar.” Richie sing-songed. 

“Alright, I have math to get back too. Did you call for a reason?” Eddie asked impatiently. He started playing with the cord of the phone. He wished his mother would get a wireless phone that he could take upstairs. It would allow him to speak with Richie properly. 

“Are you serious?! You are doing homework.” Richie whined. “You are such a loser!” 

“So are you.” Eddie accused.

 “Touché baby,” Richie rhythmed laughing. Eddie listened to his laugh with a warmth that spread all over. Richie always spent so much time trying to make everyone else laugh, but Eddie loved when he let go. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. 

“How’s your day been so far?” Eddie asked not really wanting to get back to work when he could talk to Richie. 

“Eh, fine. Lame without you around.” Richie responded. Eddie could tell he was a little distracted, which was never unusual with him. 

“Are you hanging out with everyone tonight? I am going to pass until I finish my work.” 

“No, I’m not,” Richie said with a weird seriousness. 

Eddie frowned, “Why not?” 

“I don’t feel like it and you won’t be there so what’s the point?” 

Eddie could immediately sense something was off. Richie never ditched their friends unless he was dealing with a family issue. 

“Rich...what’s up?” Eddie asked patiently. 

Richie paused then let out a sigh, “Mom got a fucking DUI.” 

Eddie’s hand went to his mouth in surprise, “Are you shitting me?” 

“Unfortunately, I’m not. Her license has been suspended and guess who is stuck parent-sitting her?” 

Eddie’s rage began to bubble to the surface, “I’m so sorry, Richie. That’s a horrible start to the Winter Break. Where the fuck is your dad?” 

“Wentworthless and I got into a huge fucking argument about giving up my winter break for this bullshit. Mostly me shouting and him ignoring. Mom joined in to scream that he is the reason I am gay, although she didn’t use such a kind word as gay and it really had nothing to do with the fight.” Richie’s voice sounded so defeated. If Eddie had to guess, he had probably stayed up all night thinking about his family problems. 

Eddie’s heart hurt, “I wish I could help, you deserve so much better.” 

“It’s ok. I’ve accepted that the best I’m going to get is being with you.” Richie said with utter sincerity. “Which is so great that it outweighs my family crap. Actually, I probably have it so good with you that God decided I can’t have it too amazing, so she gave me a perfect best friend/boyfriend but shitty family issues.” 

“Did you just call God a she?” Eddie heard the breathiness in his voice. It felt so bizarre that Richie’s complete lack of a filter could take his breath away. 

“God is obviously a woman. Only a woman could make someone as drop dead gorgeous as you.” 

Eddie put the back of his hand against his face which was on fire. He was starting to feel desperate to be near Richie at that moment. To kiss him and tell him that he was the gorgeous one, who deserved the world. Eddie was nothing compared to Richie. Eddie had nothing without Richie. These emotions were becoming overwhelming. 

“No more compliments, they are making me lightheaded.” Eddie blurted out. 

“Wait! One more, one more.” Richie demanded. “God has to be a woman because only a woman has the delicate hands to sculpt an ass as good as yours.” 

“And with that, the moment is gone and I’m hanging up.” Eddie groaned in annoyance. 

“There is one bit of good news...I guess,” Richie said stopping Eddie from ending the call. “Wentworthless is giving me mom’s car.” 

“Are you serious?!” Eddie questioned trying to stay respectful but could not help his thrill. Now that Richie had a car, they could hang out more easily and have adventures outside of town. This was incredible news. 

“Yeah! He says it is all mine. I have to run all our errands but I can drive us to school!” 

“And we can go on actual dates!” Eddie chimed in then looked at the door, nervous that his mother may have heard. 

“Wow! So much better than school. What was I thinking?! This is going to be fucking amazing.” Richie’s voice brightened significantly. “I can totally teach you to drive too!” 

“I can drive!” Eddie countered. 

“You drove one time which made you and your mom get into such a big fight that you barely went home for a week. That does not count.” Richie reasoned. 

“True...I hate that all of you have your licenses and I only have a permit.” “Well, you just turned 16 last month and the rest of us have been 16 all year. Except for Stan who is a year older. Maybe that’s why he is such a grump all the time. Grumpy old man.” 

Eddie clicked his tongue disapprovingly, “Don’t say that to him. Being a year older and in our grade is a sore spot for him.” 

“I’ll give him a call after this and tell him then.” 

“Oh my god, you are so immature...” Eddie complained. 

“And you are the baby of the group.” 

“I’m not a baby!” 

“Just my baby.” 

“Gross. Goodbye.” 

“Thanks for listening, Eddie. I love you.” Richie said with all the causality in the world. It made Eddie’s heart beat faster. 

“That’s what I’m here for.” Eddie lowered his voice to barely a whisper. “I love you too. Bye.” They hung up and he stared at the phone. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly then picked up the receiver again. 

He dialed a number and listened to the ring. A familiar perpetually sad voice answered. “Hello, you’ve reached the Denbroughs.” 

“Hello Mr. Denbrough, this is Eddie Kaspbrak. May I speak to Bill?” Eddie heard a distant ‘Bill!’ and after a couple minutes, his friend answered. 

“Hello?”

 “Hi Big Bill, I have a huge favor to ask.” Eddie decided to get right to the point. 

“Sure Eddie, what do you n-need?” 

“Um...it’s kind of embarrassing.” 

“Alright…” 

“And I don’t want the other losers to know. Especially Richie.” 

Bill sounded immediately anxious. “Eddie...you aren’t going to ask me ab-b-bout the gay b-birds and bees are you?” 

“WHAT! NO NO OF COURSE NOT.” Eddie felt himself blushing horribly. “Oh my god, I would never.” 

“Thank god.” He said with relief. 

“I want to learn to drive.” Eddie stated firmly. 

“Oh!” 

“I am finally 16, all of you have your fucking licenses but I don’t and it’s really frustrating.” 

“Your mom doesn’t have time to teach you?” Bill questioned cautiously. 

“My mom doesn’t want me to get a driver’s license.” Eddie made his voice higher and more nasally to mimic his mother, “Eddie bear, 40,000 people die by automobile accidents each year. I can drive you anywhere you need to go.” 

Bill laughed in that light way he does, “That’s rough. I will, of course, teach you!”

Bill came to regret teaching Eddie almost immediately. He could keep his stutter under control most of the time, perhaps a word or two that did not come out right. However, when he got stressed out, words were almost impossible to get out. 

“Eddie, turn left here.” Bill said as calmly as he could. Eddie was gripping the steering wheel for dear life, eyes scanning the road crazy.

“But there are cars coming! I can’t turn left while they are coming!” Eddie said fearfully. 

“Eddie! Be calm! It will be fine just -”

 “Bill! I can’t! I’m going to hit someone.” 

“No you’re n-n-not just wait until they –” 

Eddie slammed on the accelerator and flew through the intersection turning the wheel harshly. Every car braked and honked at him. Bill and Eddie barely noticed because they were screaming. Bill gripped the dashboard desperately and Eddie closed his eyes as the van made a hard left. 

“EYES OP-OP-OP EYES EYES!” Bill managed to barely get out. After making the dramatic turn, Eddie pulled over. 

“M-maybe I shouldn’t be t-t-teaching you.” Bill said clutching his chest.

The next day, Ben tried his luck. Ben was the nicest one in the friend group and people never yelled at him. So when he asked Eddie to try parallel parking he did not expect to be exploded at. 

“You have to tell me how!” Eddie shouted. 

Ben winced but explained easily, “Eddie I did. Pull up next to the car in front of us, then a sharp turn into the spot behind then wait until you see the far side of the other car and - ” 

“None of that makes any sense! Why can’t you explain it better?!” Eddie was hyperventilating as he tried to go forward and back up into the spot. 

His face was pale and he could not stop shaking. Ben went to touch his shoulder and Eddie hissed at him, “Do not fucking touch me. JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO.” 

Ben sank into the passenger seat and when he spoke it was barely a whisper, “You have to pull forward and…” 

“WHAT? Speak up, Ben. I can’t fucking hear you.” 

Ben ended up curling in on himself and Eddie had to take them back to Bill’s apologizing profusely the whole time. * Mike and Eddie almost had an easy time. 

Mike had a calming presence and explained everything clearly to Eddie. They were approaching a busier part of town and Eddie was driving at a glacial pace. 

“You can speed up a little Eddie.” Mike instructed. 

“No, I’m too nervous to go any faster.” Eddie whined. He kept his eyes glued to the road trying to stay in his lane. 

Mike chuckled lightly, “You are going a little too slow and can actually get a ticket for going below the speed limit.” 

Eddie looked at him in fear, “I CAN GET A TICKET FOR GOING TOO SLOW?!” 

Eddie pressed on the accelerator and started zooming down the street. Their backs hit the seats at the force of how fast they were going. 

“No wait! Slow down! Eddie!” Mike was quickly losing his composure. 

They were approaching a four-way intersection. The light turned yellow and there was no way they were going to make it. 

“BRAKE! BRAKE!” 

Instead of breaking, Eddie floored it and he blew through a red light. All the cars were honking and one almost hit them but swerved just in time. 

“Pull over! You are done!” Mike shouted. “I did not plan to die today, Edward!” 

“Fucking hell,” Eddie cursed in rage.

Stanley outright refused to help. 

"But Stanley, please?!" Eddie asked desperately. "You probably know how to teach the best!" 

"No Eddie, I know you. If I try to teach you, you are going throw something at me." Stanley said seriously. 

"When have I ever..." 

Stanley interrupted him, "Two days ago when I tried to explain that math problem to you. You got mad and threw a pencil at me. Who knows what would get thrown at me if we were in a car." 

Eddie looked at him with a miserable expression. Stanley sighed deeply, "What about Richie? He's usually the only person that can teach you anything." 

"Trapped at his house and I don't want him to know!" 

"Try Bev." 

Beverly attempted a harsher tactic of yelling back at Eddie whenever he raised his voice. She would cut him off every time he sassed her until they eventually started full on shouting over each other. 

“You are all HORRIBLE teachers,” Eddie screamed. “None of you know how to properly instruct me!” 

“NO!” Beverly responded screeching so loud it hurt both their ears, “You are a HORRIBLE FUCKING STUDENT!” 

“NO I'M NOT!” 

“YES YOU ARE!” 

“NO I'M NOT!”

“YES YOU ARE!” 

“NO I'M…” 

“WATCH OUT FOR THAT KID!” 

Eddie braked and the seat belts dug into their chests painfully. Beverly did not even bother taking over the car after that. She opened her door and stormed away. Eddie pulled over to the side thinking about how much he hated himself at that moment. 

Bill later came and picked up his car. Eddie sat in the passenger seat seething. He did not speak, just stayed still trying to keep angry tears from falling. He was being a nightmare, he knew that. He really did want to learn to drive, it was just hard when he kept panicking or getting mad. 

When Bill dropped him off at home he finally broke the silence. “So Eds...is everything ok with you and Richie?” 

“Yes, of course.” Eddie looked over confused. 

“I am j-just wondering if you had a fight and that’s why y-y-you are so on edge.” Bill raised his hands up to ward off possible punches. 

“Put your hands down Bill, I am not going to hit you.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “I guess it is a little because I may not see Richie until we are back at school. It is stupid, but I miss him.” 

“You talk on the phone every day.” Bill laughed. 

“Sure! But it isn’t the same as seeing his stupid face.” Eddie mumbled. 

Bill shoved Eddie lightly, “I miss you yelling at him instead of us.” 

“Yeah, my panicking is preventing me from learning to drive.” Eddie opened the door to get out. 

Bill stopped him to say, “We’ll figure it out. Tomorrow’s another day.” 

“Ok.” Eddie closed the door and went into his house. 

His mother was not home, so he went into the kitchen and dialed Richie’s number. 

As soon as he heard Richie’s voice, Eddie said, “I miss you.” 

“Who are you and what have you done with my Eds?” Richie said fake seriously. “He would never purposefully be nice to me or are the candy nicknames finally making you sweeter?” 

“See that’s what I miss. The way you make me angry but flattered at the same time. How the fuck do you do that?” Eddie said with malice. 

Richie hesitated before responding, “What happened today?” 

“It’s just been this whole week really. Just shitty and frustrating.” 

“You know what I do when I am frustrated?” 

Eddie frowned, “If you say an inappropriate joke right now, I am not talking to you for the rest of break.” 

“I think about how the most important person in my life loves me, inappropriate jokes and all.” 

Eddie let out a sigh and could feel his body getting warm, “If you were here, I would totally kiss you right now.” 

“Yeah? Well, I would kiss you back and probably grab your ass.” Richie stated matter of factly. 

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Oh my god, shut the fuck up.” 

“Let’s talk dirty over the phone.” Richie suggested in a husky voice. Eddie opened and closed his mouth several times before being able to form a proper sentence. “Ew, no! Your parents could be listening on the other line or my mom could get back from wherever she is and walk in.” 

Richie completely ignored Eddie’s protests, “Alright I’ll start. My hands grip your tiny waist and bring it closer to me as your tongue does naughty things to my…” 

“GOODNIGHT RICHIE!” Eddie shouted down the phone. 

“Goodnight! Love you!” Richie responded laughing like a lunatic. 

Eddie put the receiver down as he laughed to himself. How could he miss someone who drove him so crazy?

[daresplaining]

Hey, me again. This may seem like a weird request, but have their been any memorable times, in your opinion, where Matt has been really kind and compassionate to others in the comics? Not just in a 'willing to do violence on your behalf sort of way' but in any other way as well.

   Sure! Matt is generally a very empathetic and compassionate person. That’s one of his myriad reasons for being a superhero (and a lawyer too, for that matter). Of course, he’s (usually…) kind and caring toward his loved ones, but it’s telling that he has also been known to show compassion not only for strangers, but for his enemies as well– so that’s what we’re going to focus on here. There are more moments than we could possibly include here without making this post ridiculously long, so rather than trying to cover everything, we’ve narrowed it down to some of our favorites.  

Matt: “The media likes to pigeonhole anyone in a costume into easily digestible sound bites. ‘The Man Without Fear’ is the title they’ve stuck me with. What they’ll never understand, of course, is that it’s not a matter of fear. It’s about honestly asking yourself, ‘What other choice is there?’ It’s about caring.”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #303 by D.G. Chichester, M.C. Wyman, and Christie Scheele]

    First and foremost…

Matt: “Gee, you’d think someone would help that blind man across the street! Say, mister… can I give you a hand? He didn’t seem to hear me! He might be deaf, too! Say… there’s a truck turning the corner… coming towards him! […] He won’t have a chance… unless I can reach him in time!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #1 by Stan Lee, Bill Everett, and Sam Rosen]

    Matt’s origin story is characterized by what is inarguably an act of courage– but more than that, it is an act of compassion. He notices a stranger in peril, he sees that no one else is going to help, and he puts his own life at risk to do something about it. This willingness and desire to be a force for good in the lives of people he doesn’t know is at the core of why Matt becomes a superhero, and it’s a desire that keeps him going later on, in spite of everything it costs him. After all of the pain this preliminary selfless act brings him, young Matt could very easily have lost interest in helping others right then and there. But he doesn’t.

Willie: “Skip it, DD! It ain’t a pretty yarn anyhow! And it’s something– I gotta ‘tend to– by myself!”

Matt: “Okay, mister! I’m not about to pry! But, let me leave you with this thought– There are lots of people– without sight– who lead useful, productive lives! All it takes is guts– the kind of guts you’re loaded with, Willie!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #47 by Stan Lee and Gene Colan]

    1960s Matt did a lot of 1960s things, including once performing for American soldiers in Vietnam. In the audience at one of his shows is a young man named Willie Lincoln, whose battle injuries have left him with rapidly deteriorating eyesight. While watching the performance, his vision gives out completely, driving him into a fit of panic. Matt hears about this, tracks Willie down, and visits him in the hospital, wanting to offer someone suffering through a life change he knows all too well some encouraging words. They talk, and when Willie tells Matt that he is in legal trouble with some corrupt cops at his job back home, Matt immediately agrees to represent him in court pro bono (courtesy of his *cough* lawyer friend). Matt helps Willie to restart his life once he returns from service, and provides him with hope in what he’d previously seen as a hopeless situation.

Willie: “Y’know, boy– just a short time ago I thought I’d really hit bottom! But then I found me a friend– and cleared my name! Now, even without my eyes– I’m looking forward to tomorrow– for the first time! I feel like I’m part of the human race again! Murdock never made a big deal about it– but, when you get down to where it’s at– maybe that’s what brotherhood is all about!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #47 by Stan Lee and Gene Colan]

   The two end up becoming close friends, and Willie sticks around for a while as a recurring member of the Daredevil cast. (Sadly, however, he hasn’t been seen in a long time. Marvel, bring him back!)

Foggy: “…You’ve really let yourself in for it this time, Matt. I mean, since it’s been named a federal case– there’s nothing a lowly district attorney could do to help the Hulk– even if I wanted to!”

Matt: “And you’re probably right in advising me to withdraw from the case… but somehow, I just can’t! The Hulk is alone– friendless– as much sinned against as sinning. Thus, I feel that I have to defend him… even if it may mean the end of my legal career! If you can’t understand that… then I don’t know who will!”

[Incredible Hulk vol. 1 #153 by Gary Friedrich, Dick Ayers, and Herb Trimpe]

   We’ve mentioned Bruce Banner a number of times when talking about Matt’s friends, and he is someone who Matt will always drop everything to try and help. In their very first encounter, Matt is hired to defend the Hulk in court. When the Hulk turns violent (no surprise there) everyone else involved with the case treats him as a threat. But Matt sees past the violence and understands that the Hulk is suffering, and reacting in the only way he knows how. Matt offers Bruce/Hulk his support and friendship, and places both his legal career and his life on the line to help him get a fair trial and a chance at a normal life. This is a choice he makes again and again over the years, as Bruce continues to be betrayed and abused by the system and the world in general.  

Matt: “Melvin, we’ve come so far. I know how much you want to be well… to go straight. We can help you, Betsy and I.”

Melvin: “I been trying, Matt. I been sitting in that courtroom, listening to them say those things about me, feeling my guts churn up, wanting to rip them all to pieces… They hate me. They all hate me… so I’m gonna hate them back!”

Matt: “I’m not letting you off that easy. If you want to become the Gladiator again, you’ll have to get past me.”

Melvin: “Past you?! Look at you– you’re just a skinny little blind guy! I’d break you in half! It’d be easy […] Why not? I’m the Gladiator! The Gladiator! When I’m wearing my armor, I’m unbeatable. I’m… I’m all alone. Help me… please…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #173 by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Glynis Wein]

     The Gladiator is an early DD villain who was gifted with a lot of extra complexity and the possibility of redemption by later writers. After fighting him for years, Matt is finally confronted with Melvin’s humanity and suffering, and immediately joins forces with his parole officer/psychiatrist/eventual girlfriend Betsy Beatty to give him both legal and emotional support. Matt comes to understand that Melvin’s fits of criminal behavior are brought about by feelings of isolation and helplessness– and while he doesn’t always succeed, Matt at least tries to be there for him when he needs help.

Jester: “A moment ago, you unmasked. Now I shall perform a similar gesture… I am, your humble and obedient servant– the Jester! At your service!”

Matt: “You deserve the bow. You were magnificent.”

Jester: “Indeed! I trust the critics will change their tune.”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #218 by Denny O’Neil, Sal Buscema, and Christie Scheele]

    This is a touching issue– surprisingly so for a story about the Jester. Despite his goofy appearance and Silver Age-y backstory, the Jester is a dangerous criminal. He specializes in misinformation and mass media manipulation, and he has wrecked the lives of Matt and his friends on a number of occasions. However, at heart he’s just a spurned actor looking for an appreciative audience. When Matt learns that the Jester has kidnapped an actor who was supposed to perform on live TV, and jumped into the main role himself, he hurries over, ready for a fight. However, when he gets there he discovers that all the Jester is doing is… well, acting– and doing a really good job of it. Realizing that his enemy is achieving a harmless lifelong dream, Matt decides to leave him alone, and distracts the cops who have arrived on the scene long enough to allow the Jester to get his longed-for applause.  

Number Nine: “A girl should look her best in battle!”

Brandy: “God give me strength, and keep me from slapping the lipstick off that bimbo!”

Matt: “Brandy, you fight for so many humane causes, can’t you muster up some compassion for that poor girl?”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #273 by Ann Nocenti, John Romita, Jr., and Christie Scheele]

    The “Lone Stranger” arc of Matt’s story presents a fascinating exploration of his mindset and morality. In the aftermath of his first major run-in with Typhoid Mary, Matt is left physically and emotionally destroyed. Unable to face life in New York City, he gets on a train upstate with no plan or destination. The method he comes up with to cope with the pain of his lost life is a complete smothering of his thoughts and emotions. He lives from moment to moment, immersing himself in his immediate sensory experiences, and emotionally cutting himself off from the world around him. 

    Over the course of his trek across upstate New York he has brief encounters with people in need. One of the most notable of these encounters is with a woman called Number Nine. She is an escapee from what is essentially a slave trade, in which women are genetically engineered to be beautiful, docile, identity-less, and are then sold to men looking for “perfect” wives. Having been through this process, Number Nine remembers nothing about who she was or where she came from, and struggles to understand her new existence. She imprints on Matt (another effect of the procedure), and while he is initially hesitant to let himself get involved, still determined to avoid personal connections, he tries (with… varied success and tact) to provide her with support as she negotiates the confusion of her new life and programming.      

Number Nine: “Oh! It’s okay, I have a healing power! They gave it to me… […] You’ll see, my cuts will heal, fast, like magic!”

Matt: “Number Nine– try to tell me what you were doing just now…”

Number Nine: “Cutting. I think it’s… Physical pain– it helps drown out the pain in my mind… Cutting helps…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #273 by Ann Nocenti, John Romita, Jr., and Christie Scheele]

    This is a loaded story arc, and Number Nine is a character who deserves a lot more attention and analysis than what we have time for here– but we wanted to at least mention her.

Matt (caption): “The words don’t come easy… but ultimately, they must come. Leave it unsaid, risk dwelling on the evil this man’s done– the injuries he’s brought down on my life, onto others’– and the road traveled is one of bitterness. Of revenge. But let go of the hate, rise about it, and maybe there’s something worthwhile that can provide the inner drive. Maybe then there’s hope for something noble.”

Matt: “I forgive you…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #300 by D.G. Chichester, Lee Weeks, and Christie Scheele]

   This is a big moment from the pivotal “Last Rites” arc, in which Matt finally topples Fisk’s criminal enterprise and destroys his life, in much the same way that Fisk once destroyed his. When the final fight is over and the Kingpin is left physically and emotionally beaten, hunched in the remains of his once-great empire, Matt finds the will to look past all of the pain his nemesis has heaped on him over the years, and to offer forgiveness and a chance to remedy their mutual hatred. It’s not exactly an act of compassion, and it’s a gesture that Matt angrily takes back not long afterward… but given the circumstances, it’s a testament to Matt’s willingness to try to be a positive force for others– even for those who least deserve it.

Matt: You’re going to make it, hear me? You’re gonna–

Owlsley: “You should’ve let me…”

Matt: “Unh-uh. You take my hand– you’re willing to take my hand– I don’t let go. You’ve got some long ways to go, mister… but you can count on me…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #303 by D.G. Chichester, M.C. Wyman, and Christie Scheele]

   The Owl has always gotten the short end of the characterization stick as far as Matt’s villains are concerned. He’s your typical over-the-top, hilariously avian-themed bad guy in his early appearances, and a bumbling Kingpin-wannabe later on. Only a few writers have attempted to add nuance to his story. The most notable development in this direction is a story arc that sends him into a literal physical breakdown. He discovers that the procedures he has subjected himself to over the years in order to make himself more birdlike are slowly destroying his body, and he is forced to face the truth of his own mortality and legacy. When he attempts a desperate scheme to reestablish himself as a power within the criminal underworld, Matt is, of course, right there and waiting to stop him. But when he witnesses firsthand the broken, haunted person Owlsley has become, he steps in to save his life, and to offer him the hope of moving forward in a positive direction.

   Sadly, this step forward in their relationship has been ignored by most of the creative teams since. Clearly, Owlsley is most useful and fun to write when he’s completely villainous.  

Matt: “Why are you doing this to her?”

Natasha: “She thinks she’s Natasha Romanov. She thinks she killed Yelena Belova. But she is Yelena Belova. She’s coming undone.”

Matt: “But why, dammit?”

[Black Widow (2001) #2 by Devon Grayson, Greg Rucka, and Scott Hampton]

    “Breakdown” is one of our favorite comics, and one we’ve been meaning to post about for a while, so this seemed like the perfect place to mention it. It’s also known as Black Widow (2001) #1-3, and features Matt in the role of sympathetic outsider. The previous arc of the series introduces Yelena Belova, a young graduate of the Red Room who is determined to prove her skills by killing Natasha and usurping her as the Black Widow. She faces Natasha and Matt (who cameos in that arc as well) as an enemy. But in “Breakdown” the situation becomes a bit more complicated. Wanting to teach the arrogant young agent a lesson about the realities of being a spy, Natasha has Yelena kidnapped and surgically switches appearances with her. Yelena wakes up in Natasha’s apartment, frightened and confused, and is forced to live Natasha’s life while rapidly losing grasp of her own identity. Having previously seen Yelena only as a threat, Matt is initially happy to involve himself in Natasha’s plan to mess with her. However, when confronted firsthand with her terror, he tries to stop the mission and steps in to comfort Yelena, despite Natasha’s insistence that he not interfere with her breakdown.              

Yelena: “…You…know?”

Matt: “Yes.”

Yelena: “Then who… Who am I?”

Matt: “Yelena Belova.”

Yelena: “Yelena… I’m… Yelena Belova… the Black Widow…”

[Black Widow (2001) #3 by Devon Grayson, Greg Rucka, and Scott Hampton]

   Of course, Natasha knows Matt very well, and we can assume she knew all along that he would react this way.

Matt (caption): “Over the deafening house music, I pick out one heartbeat. It has to be one of the kids… because my gut clenches with anxiety the closer I get to him.”

Matt: “Ssssh. It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a good guy, see? No fear, kiddo. No fear. You’ve got to be brave–”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #10 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson]

   Matt has had a lot of great moments with young children over the years, and we weren’t planning on including them because showing compassion toward suffering kids– while always touching and wonderful– isn’t really that notable. He’s a good guy. Come on. (We may end up doing a separate post on that, actually…). But we had to include this one because the Purple Children technically count as antagonists, and because we just really like it. He helps them, despite how dangerous they are and the horrible things they do to his emotions, and it seems that his willingness to help them again in the current run may be what caused his life’s most recent implosion.

Matt: “I’m worried about him, Tasha.”

Natasha: “Oh, come on! Clint’s a big boy now– and an Avenger, to boot. He’ll be fine.”

[Daredevil and the Black Widow vol. 1 #99 by Steve Gerber, Sam Kweskin, and Stan Goldberg]

   And of course, there’s this memorable exchange from the masterpiece that is DD 99, which we’re contractually obligated to mention whenever possible. 

Foggy: “He will confound you. He will frustrate you. He will make your choices FOR you, he will manipulate you without CONSULTING you, and you will want to PUNCH him in his self-assured face at least ONCE AN HOUR. […] But he will care about you in a way that no one else ever could.”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #5 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez]    

    We wanted to end with this great quote from Foggy, because it exemplifies this side of Matt’s character. He’s not perfect, and he may not always show it, but he does care– to a gut-wrenching degree– about the people around him. 

[celestialallstars]

Episode #3: "Make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent" - Mo

So first off WOOOOO! The vote happened exactly as it was supposed to. I'm hoping that means I'm actually on the pulse of this tribe. I've gradually been getting closer to Jared, and I think he trusts me probably more than I trust him.

Second off, this challenge my god. I hate it, like it's a good challenge but for me... oof. Doing this, it's like I have facial dyslexia or something. Like all of the mouths and eyes start blending together and it just starts to look nuts.

I'm hoping to keep trudging forward, if we somehow pull a win out of this, even better if Cyrena goes to tribal again given it was basically unanimous. Alternatively Orfeo to balance things out. I'm tired though and it's been a long day, so it is now time to sleep.

I’m conflicted because I so badly want to be a bad bitch and create an over the top plan but there’s such a high chance that it will flop and make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent. So I’m going to try to create my own kinda of genius that only applies to me. It sounds stupid but it’ll work. I’m being bold by saying it’ll work cus if I get eliminated I’ll look like a Doofenshmirtz. We’ll see. I’m already making charts to help me see who’s good and who’s not so good at comps. Comparing teammates to eachother and comparing the entire cast to eachother. Wish me luck. (Also I love everyone in this cast.)

So like I have so many mixed feelings about this cast. In terms of talking a lot of them are BORING or LEAVE ME ON READ, and like maybe for some it’s cause I’m not in their tribe but like, some people on my tribe still make me want to hit my head against a rock. So like that’s what I’m feeling.

Also think we’re gonna loose this immunity which I’ve hardly done anything for. So go me.

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Just a small update Mitch and I are chatting so that answers that question

"What's going on?" Well I shall tell you Anna Jane exactly what is going on. I need to get back into therapy that's what.

Apparently everyone is stressed about results and then there is me who does not care cause I want bodhi gone cause he legit doesn't talk to me so meh.

ALSO ALISSA FOUND AN IDOL QUEEEN. so we now have an idol between the 3 of us which could come in handy very much later down the road which we love! I have 100% trust in jack and alyssa now, with mo as my number 3 on this tribe. As much as i love tobi personally (hi tobi reading this post season) but like idk something is still off. he hasn't spoken much game to me at the moment so idk where his head is really at..

god help us its results this challenge was hard woo go cyrena!

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we lost by 1 point. oh my god. 1 point. that makes me wanna cry. dear god let this be a simple vote or i will actually start crying

WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE ON THE SHITTY TRIBE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS THERE SOME SICK SATISFACTION OF ME ALWAYS GOING TO TRIBAL????? FUCK

I am SO pumped! I do feel bad for the people on Cyrena, but where it stands now, them going to tribal I feel is best for my game just relationship-wise for me. Still, I can only hope I am making few bonds over on their end while maintaining the ones I have on my tribe and Tuatha as well. I do really hope Mo at least makes it because he helped me this morning when I was getting bummed about all the winner talk. I'm quite optimistic for right now!

I Wrote Alexis Maxwell But I Erased It

Well we won the challenge (BARELY), a bit annoyed that we submitted before I got another chance to take a crack at the photos. I feel like I could've maybe found 1 or 2 more before we submitted. Granted we'd need to have found either 3 more or beaten Orfeo to the punch if we had wanted the reward.

I think so long as Bodhi doesn't go on Cyrena I'm pretty indifferent about them losing. They're the people I talk to the least relatively. Ideally I'd probably want an Alyssa, or Matt boot, but I have no influence so we'll see what happens.

I'm just trying to be social and relatively unimposing right now. It's Day 8, now's not the time to be doing glaringly bold things.

um so we won wooh but still no 2nd idol im sad i want one. um wanted green tribe to go tribal but blue going again i hope bodhi/jack/alyssa leave cuz they dont talk to me ever um ya thatd be cute or maybe tobi cuz hes a snake but maybe he not a snake this time? my stan list atm is jared > zach = rhys > loris = chloe > everyone else. my unstan list is: sharky jack alyssa mitch <3 um yaa hope i can do sth. chris so good gotta always watch out for him jared asked who i wanted to go to f3 with and i said def not chris and he was like oh i wanted chris in end so like hes def a threat also he likes zach so um that needs to stop real quick.

I think it should be Bodhi or Tobi to go. Am I gonna say anything? Not right now, no. Will I say something later? No clue it depends. But Bodhi isn’t as active as the others and doesn’t participate all that much. Tobi is semi-active but isn’t great at challenges. I remember him being good at challenges so idk if he’s just distracted or not putting that much energy into this. I think a swap is happening after this potentially but if it ain’t it’s still best to vote out the weakest link. It might be me and I might just be super cocky rn but I don’t think it’s me.

hi! yesterday was a monumental day. I tried to mend my social game with those I hadn’t talked much to, which resulted in me having a lengthy conversation with jack, and making me feel a bit more secure in my tribe/in the event of a swap. the people I don’t talk to keep getting voted out which I’m very much a fan of but that’s probably because they were inactive so that trend might not continue :(. also I lied in my last conf I’m now in an alliance with Chris Jared kori and Bryce? I didn’t expect it but i didn’t feel too close with kori so that should help me solidify something there!! :) I’m thriving. don’t call me ANGEL!

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don’t call me ANGEL! (in case of task challenge :p)

So we won the challenge. Again. It’s really nice to be able to just sit back and relax in the game and watch people struggle but I’m really nervous about it because we’re all so kumbaya on the Oreo tribe that I don’t fully know who I can trust just yet. Another piece of tea is the fact that Alyssa has an idol which is great for me because it shows Alyssa trusts me and I can trust her for the time being. However I’m worried about Alyssa because we keep promising each other merge which tells me she won’t want to go to the end with me just yet so I gotta keep her close and we’ll see how much damage we can do but i think I’m thriving bc I actually know where an idol is compared to last time when I had no clue.

so previously on The Adventures of a F*g, i had a small breakdown about the game. i dont know if true, but bryce informed me of an alliance between kori/jared/bryce/loris/chris, and the last two named are super close allies of mine (the closest on my tribe). they like.. didnt tell me shit about it and idk i guess i just feel excluded and it sucks that im in legit 0 (real) alliances. ive been doing good socially i thought and i dont know but i feel like i really sucked.

meanwhile, i sat down with a bag of salt and vinegar lays chips and talked to myself. why was i doing bad? why was i in 0 alliances? why no one like me?

then it hit me... like boom.

i realized that a typical flaw i had this game was caring too much. i pride myself on my ability to read situations (barring paranoia) and i know myself very well. like, i realized that since i was too concerned with doing good and proving myself, i kind of lost the fun of it all and probably come off as fake or forcible to other people. that isn't authentic.

BUT MY EPIPHANY increased even further. how? i dont know!! my brains so fucking big. i just had to be goofy. yes, i want to do good. i really do. but i played once before in this series and got RU pots and 5th. i know i am capable of being a good player and im content with that, and now that im moving into that mindset where this game wont no longer dictate whether im good or bad, im going to start having fun.

i know this isnt about game really but its like... #selfdiscovery

but ya i just wanted to update yalls on that. i won immunity though so im f18 and probs in swap. woo. finna get fucked. anyway, thank u.

and since i want like attention on this post im going to put tags.

#selfdiscovery #justgirlythings #l4l #follow4follow #gay #faggot #0alliances #disney #anime #weeb #lgbt #survivor #bigbrother #celestial

After we won the face morph challenge, it has been pretty slow. I still have a solid group with me Stephen Z and Jared. Kori and Bryce are close, Jared and I are close, Rhys and Jared are close, and Stephen and I are close. Those are the allegiances I know of right now, but things could change. Lucky for the alliance of 5, they all get to stick together. If there is a swap though, I won't hesitate to flip on bryce/rhys/kori if the opportunity presents itself. I am also kind of worried I am not keeping up socially. I have had a busy week, so my availability is limited, but I try to talk to as many people as I can when I am available. If my predicitons are correct, we should expect a swap soon. I'd love to meet up with Michael, Bodhi, Alyssa, Chloe, Drew, and Mo just to name a few. I feel like I have been able to connect well with everyone except Matt H.

So, as per my last confessional we are at tribal. And I'm conflicted. As said before I have an alliance with jack and Alyssa and they are my main 2 at the moment like love them both. We helped Alyssa find the idol and we now have a vote steal which I found. However I am feeling kinda conflicted over this vote. Jack and Alyssa want to get rid of Tobi but I personally want bodhi gone. He doesn't talk to me like at all and like he's not the best at challenges. I wanna keep Tobi as well for like a laugh because I genuinely love him. We all agreed to keep mo thank god but still, a lil conflicted. AGH. I have found a vote steal tho woo. I'm not going to be happy but I'll swallow my pride and just go with the alliance, because I'm not out here trying to make waves and be unloyal at the moment. That's for later LOL

I think there is a relatively high chance that i'm going home here, considering its 1 and a half hours till tribal and people "still haven't heard anything" so i'm assuming that i'm getting the chop here which sucks... I tried pretty hard considering i've been pretty busy and like they're not giving me much to work with here and it feels like im trying to break through a wall. I'm trying to get the target on bodhi but no one is fucking online to even try to talk to about it so i'm at  a lost for what to do here... I want to stay but i just don't know how to do that when no one is talking to me... i could just be extremely paranoid and i sound delusional right now but idk something feels off here... its so annoying when I enjoy talking to other tribes more than my own NNNN like i really wish things were different but they're not so i'm just gonna try my best and see what happens

Woo we win again. Im trying to step up socially with my tribe, although who knows how long it's gonna matter bc we're prob swapping tonight. Apparently people were saying mo's name, let's pray it doesn't happen bc he's a good fucking kid.

Well it's been a slow couple of days for me. In game I can't really speak much to anything that may have happened. I feel like Tuatha has had a bit of a kumbaya casual flow going on. Which isn't necessarily bad but it makes it hard for me to know how I'm really doing.

Tobi was messaging me worried it might be him, which admittedly wouldn't be the worst thing given how we ended our last game. I was kindof an ass which I kindof leaned into after essentially throwing that game, but I still wish I'd found a way to end things better with him. While there are others I'd rather see go, his boot is one I can probably accept.

If it isn't him then oof who knows then. So long as it isn't Bodhi from that tribe. Overall I'm feeling ok, but I don't want to get complacent, it's just so early that I really don't know what to make of things. One world still isn't really helping since I'm still struggling to try and make conversation with EVERYONE. I really should consider just narrowing it down to some instead of all.

I’m sure hoping this works out for me if there is a tribe swap like a suspect, I think I’ve built some strong enough connections but without going to tribal it’s just not possible for me to be 100%

I've never been on a tribe with a winning streak I feel like I'm in the upside down hahaha. I'm having a great time and getting to know everybody and not having the stress of tribal is great. Sucks for the other tribes OOP

Nothing much is happening! I am still set up perfectly on my tribe and Bodhi has informed me that either Mo or Matt might be going. That was at the beginning of the round so it could really be anyone. I just hope it isn't Bodhi Alyssa or Mo.

Ok this past round was ok. I just kind of let us lose immunity and then we voted out Tobi. I didn’t want to vote out Tobi but that fucker voted for me so I don’t really care at all fuck him.

So not very much has changed on Tuatha as far as I can tell. My tribe winning the immunity challenge has helped me delay any confrontation between my 2 alliances which is great, as it should theoretically allow me to maintain relationships with all 6 members of the tribe. Still, it's going to keep being important to win immunity or pray for a swap in order to keep these groups from clashing.

Jared and Rhys are still a ? for me. I don't know why/how Rhys was able to convince Kori to invite Jared to the alliance of 5 instead of Mitch, and it worries me that those 2 may have a stronger bond than I immediately suspected. Hopefully I'll have an opportunity to deal with that when the time comes.

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Tobi is voted out 5-1. We swap!