#people on tumblr seem to have the idea that people who talk about the Aesthetic of smoking are the ones liable to pick it up

[swamp-world]

addiction is bad and understandable because it's criminalized, unless it's the legal kind of substances that you're addicted to, in which case you just choose it without any context, and because it's legal you should Know Better and be able to Access Supports and if you don't then you've Chosen To Be Addicted And That's A Moral Choice You Made And So You Deserve To Be Laughed At For It.

do these people truly not understand what an addiction is or view smoking purely as a personal moral failure?

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Anti's, Twitter Freaks, and Tumblr crazies seem to have this weird itch where they believe any women under 5'6" is "a literal child". And this shit has annoyed me for forever now. What's more this conversation always comes up in regards to Loli in anime and tall men with short women IRL. So here's a poll. And then more context.

Long story short, or rather as short as I can get it. I'm getting sick and tired of the idea that age somehow doesn't matter but, physical appearance of age does somehow matter instead. Especially when it comes with the context of anime. And even then more so I get frustrated at the fact that I have to talk with anyone about what is appropriate and not appropriate IRL.

The fact of the matter is and will remain that just because a girl looks like an adult does not in any way imply that it is okay to sleep with her unless you are also underage. (And I only make that caveat, because I know I can't stop young people from screwing around with one another.) But, when I see people whining about anime specifically I often end up with people who are fans of Ryoko from Kill La Kill or Kitagawa from My Dress Up Darling. Both of whom are minors. And if you like that, then you do you. Because I understand that with anime as an aesthetic they do have a tendency to look older or younger depending on how the people writing the story wanted them to come out.

However, a lot of people have a frustrating little quirk where if it looks like a character is too short, to flat chested, or has no back-end or thighs to speak of, they assess that that character is supposed to either be or look like a child (Ignoring they treat REAL women like this). Which also ignores this fun issue:

Because let's talk age of consent shall we. Sure, it's not universal across every country but it's pretty close among first world ones. But people make a big deal of characters that short with no bust, seek out people that like that character, and will literally treat that person as if they've harmed kids IRL. Yet are seemingly NEVER angry over the abuse of real kids. What's more they will claim something is pedophilia online, THEN SHARE IT saying something like "OMFG LOOK AT THIS EPSTEIN TIER ABUSER!", and I'm sitting here like, "I don't care how old you are if you're an adult you need to be punched in the throat and if your a minor, you and your parents need to be punches in the throat". (My reasoning here is simple. If you think something is CP why would you then share it to more people rather than just report it)

Epstein abused and trafficked MANY young girls and possibly young boys to a lesser extent. A person that likes this goblin?

Isn't even close to Epstein. Because:

This is a drawing

This drawing is humanoid but doesn't look like an actual human

This character is probably older than you are

This character is a dragon

This character is FICTIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My point for asking ladies heights is because I'm really sick of people more or less going, "as long as you look old enough it's fine" while not realizing they literally just made the argument that age is just a number and so long as you look of age you should be allowed to be sexually abused.

[threewaysdivided]

New Desktop Dash, No Bueno

Okay so, new dash layout on desktop.

As seems to be a common reaction: not a fan.

Let's talk about some of the issues:

1. Really visually cluttered

The new sidebar crowds out the dashboard content and the bright blue popup notifications (now at the side AND top) and create-post bar pull your eyes in different directions. There is no space for the eye to rest on anymore - it's all noise. The end result is that everything flattens - there's no focal point anymore.

It's also pretty overwhelming - even for someone like me - so I can't imagine it would be very user-friendly to someone who was photosensitive or struggled with visual overload (especially when paired with the high-contrast 'true blue' default site palette and animated icons for the changes-on-tumblr/staff-picks/trending buttons).

2. The activity pop-up now covers dashboard content

This is really bad from a usability standpoint. In the old layout the activity pop-up used to drop down over the recommended blogs sidebar. Now it actively gets in the way of looking at core content. The dash is why we are here, burying it like this is baffling.

The search bar now drops down over the recommended blogs banner instead, but where the old design had non-critical space on each side of the dashboard to visually allow both features to pop in, this new layout is way worse for efficiency. And for what? Having a rarely-used former drop-down menu now permanently active? The old banner with quick-links for the key use-features (notes, messages, askbox) made much more design sense.

It also means that the activity pop-up gets now completely covered by the blog pop-up that opens when you click the notification, so double demerit there. 0/10.

3. It's harder to navigate to the activity page, and the new page-stretch means you can't see new notes without scrolling down

That first bit is kind of a nitpick but cramming the 'See everything' link down at the bottom of a browser window isn't a great navigation choice. (Again, the visual signifiers and eye-direction in this new design are incredibly poor.)

That the main activity page now requires you to scroll to even see the top note due to the new display ratio is really egregious. It makes another key site feature just slightly less convenient and accessible in a very irritating way. Bad choice.

4. The new ratio pushes the Radar and Main Sponsored slot completely off-screen

This one is directed the tumblr staff: that's also a bad choice, guys. That's your main ad-slot for people loading into Tumblr so hiding it is going to hurt both your ad-impressions and your ability to promote the ad-free option. The new layout ratio also means that the in-dash ads are going to be a lot more invasively screen-filling - and let's be real most users will either add-block or leave before purchasing ad-free. I have no idea what the new layout is trying to achieve but if ad optimisation is the goal then this ain't it, chief.

To be honest I cannot comprehend the rationale for this change. I guess it's visually a bit more like Twitter... but that site is currently being demolished from the inside by poor management decisions so maybe it's not the best aesthetic to be aping.

Well then, what do?

Okay so, new dash bad. And so, in true Tumblr spirit: we complain. However, to get results we must deploy the art of kvetching productively.

If you want the old dash back (or at least, a better new-dash design that corrects some of these big weaknesses) what you should do is head over to https://www.tumblr.com/support and lodge a feedback ticket pointing out the problems. The more users who do that, the more likely you are to see an effective response.

Remember, tagging @staff and @support in posts won't fix this. There's no guarantee they'll see it among the notes barrage.

Also: please don't be rude or abusive when you lodge tickets. Whoever is manning those blogs and inboxes probably isn't the person who forced through this change. Save an intern, be polite.

Go forth in disgruntlement to keep this hellhole a hellhome.

[damagdsnow]

Fix my reputation

Pairing: young Coriolanus Snow x fem!reader

Summary: You and Coryo are together for mutual benefits, he needs a well known woman by his side to look reliable and loving during the presidential elections and you need your reputation to be fixed after your unforgivable scandal. 

Tags: slow burn, enemies to lovers, fake dating, arranged marriage, manipulative/soft Snow, strong and independent reader (as she should), fluff, angst, power play. eventual: smut, fingering, thigh riding, switching sub/dom, degradation, denied orgasm, piv, dirty talk, overstimulation, oral (fem/male receiving), praising public sex

Chapter 1, chapter 2;

aesthetic chapter one, aesthetic chapter two;

Tw: Snow being Snow, mention of alcohol, panic/anxiety attack, eventual: mention of blood

Word count: 6.7k

Note: English is not my first language so if you see mistakes please feel free to correct me in the comments! It is also my very first time posting here on tumblr, I’ve always wanted to post my writing and finally I am now brave enough to do so, enjoy!

You hated that man. 

If there was something you were sure about, it was that you didn’t want to be here with him, at the same table having lunch. You could feel his perking blue eyes staring into your soul even though he was not looking at you, he was meticulously cutting an apple with his long fingers and a shiny knife.

How did you get here? The man you so wholeheartedly hated, was now part of your life, and you couldn’t do anything about it. You felt like that apple he was cutting so carefully, peeling your skin, your essence, the way he was holding it seemed he was scared it could run away. You could run away. 

The problem was, you would never run away. Run away to whom? To your mother who disclaimed you? To those friends who didn’t help you out? You had no choice. Now the only thing you had was your reputation ruined for a fatal mistake that could have been avoided. That was not enough, the only way to clean your image was to be with Snow. The charismatic, intelligent and kind Coriolanus Snow. Or this was what people said about him. What The Capitol said about him.

You didn’t think the same. You knew who he really was, you saw what they couldn't see. He was evil, he was the one who got the games so popular with his ideas, the one who didn’t mind sending children to death.

You and Coriolanus had only one thing in common. Maybe two or three. One of them was that you both needed each other’s influence in society for different interests. His strategy to win the elections included a woman by his side to make him look reliable and sensitive, but he mostly planned on taking advantage of your popularity to make his own name. You, on the other hand, just needed someone who could clean your reputation after a little incident.

Who better than the master manipulator Coriolanus Snow? You weren’t thrilled with the idea of spending time with him. But it was going to be just for once. The gala before the official beginning of presidential elections, the most awaited event in the Capitol.

The agreement was playing the part of two lovers who not by chance people already knew, his name was well known. Yours? Still on the news. It was just a ball, you could do a night of pretending. 

 “Tigris said you haven't tried your dress on yet,” his voice interrupted your thoughts, and you looked in his direction to see his expression. 

He still had the apple in his hands and he was cutting it in half-moon shapes, he took one bite in his mouth and he directly stared at you while chewing. You tried to hide your disgust as Snow's eyes met yours, his smile sending chills down your spine. It was as you had imagined, or even worse, you felt his blue eyes dissecting you in pieces, like he was examining you, looking for your deepest secrets. You knew that staying calm and composed in his presence was crucial. 

“I don’t want to, it fits me.” You didn’t even look at that dress, it was even sent to your house but you refused to open the box knowing that he chose it.

“I hope it will,” Coriolanus didn’t take his eyes off of yours. “At least try to read how you should answer the questions, many people will be there,” he then said while standing up from his chair. His tall frame loomed over you, and you couldn't help but shiver under his intense gaze. 

“Are you giving me homework to do now?” you said, looking up at him.

“I’m simply providing you with some advice,” his voice tinged with subtle amusement. “Oh, you think it’s going to be simple after all you did? “The Capitol won’t forgive you easily,” then he walked away, leaving you alone in the dining room. 

This day felt longer than ever. The morning before you had received a letter from Snow’s manor telling you that someone was going to pick you up to prepare you for the event. It was signed by his publicist, Iris. You met her a couple of times before: a well dressed woman who knew too much about anyone's business in the Capitol. It was her idea to have lunch with him, “just to get to know each other more,” she said, but for you it was just a reminder of his real personality. They even gave you a room for the day, two chambers away from his, quoting Iris’s letter “this way you can feel comfortable,” you thought she was too attentive and kind to work for someone like Snow.

Iris was the one convincing you to take part in this gala, she explained to you that someone cherished like Coriolanus would draw the attention away from the scandal. You two just had to pretend to be together, “the Capitol loves unexpected new couples,” the publisher said to you the first time you saw her, “the young aspiring president and the woman everybody talks about.” Iris was convinced that this way Coriolanus was seen as the devoted partner who wasn’t afraid of your bad reputation, and you as the woman ready to rise from the ashes. 

You ran into your room and slammed the door so loud you hoped he could hear you. You found a big envelope on your bedsheets, and you hoped it was some sort of -hey remember the incident? It’s not your fault, everything it’s okay!-thing, but unfortunately, it was not a free pass to the world. It was a sheet listing all possible answers to some questions you might be asked today at the gala. It was like a script to follow to save your face, to look good in front of the cameras, in front of the-very-judging-elitè. In that sheet, you could find any imaginable question they could ask, where your dress was from or who your family were. 

“Did you do that on purpose?” It was one of the questions, and you thought this was something Snow would ask you. He didn’t say a thing about what you did, in the few times you talked he never asked you directly about the scandal. He could have wanted explanations, the real version of the story from you, but he never said a word. You read the answers on the sheet, and they were all perfectly written, so meticulously explained using the Capitol-vocabulary, elegant words and a candid tone. 

“How did you meet Mr. Snow?” Your heart skipped a beat, you didn’t consider being asked about your fake relationship with him, it was all new to you.

 “…it was love at first sight, who couldn’t love an extraordinary man like him, I immediately fell in love.” You had to read the full answer twice to be certain you weren’t hallucinating. 

You would never have said those words, never in a billion years, not even under torture, of course you were ready to lie, but lying to this level? It was too much. You knew it was him who wrote this answer, you imagined the grin on his face while typing those words about him. You were mad. The answers about your dating life with Coriolanus were filled with romantic moments and exaggerated gestures that made you feel uncomfortable reading their unrealistic nature. You tried imagining those things happening in real life, but it felt completely alien and artificial. It was difficult to believe that anyone could genuinely experience those events. With Coriolanus mostly. You read the pages, over and over, a book would have been better because there was too much to read, but instead, you were stuck with a bunch of printed documents detailing your supposed love story. 

He also put dates on when things happened: your first date in the lake house in July, the time you had dinner in a fancy restaurant in August and the day you moved in his place. Lies. Lies. Lies. Apparently you officially started dating three months ago. Three? You scrolled over the pages, hoping not to read what you were thinking. 

“…after the incident, Coryo was very supportive, always there to comfort and reassure me even though all I did. I felt like I betrayed him too, but he always said we could get through it together, and I found myself falling for him all over again.” You knew none of this ever happened, and yet here it was, staring back at you in black and white. It was as if the words were playing tricks, as if the words were there to pretend instead of simply put on paper.

You sighed and closed the file, feeling a mix of frustration, confusion, and irritation. He was never there for you. Nobody was. You were all alone. After that day, you cried every night, and you were the one reassuring yourself, lying in front of the mirror saying ‘it’s going to be okay’ while your sense of guilt was slowly eating your guts. He wanted to appear like the perfect partner, but you knew the truth. It was all a façade. Deep down, you knew the real him, and it took all your strength to acknowledge the reality. You threw the stack of files on the floor, it was all too much. 

You got up from the bed, and you went directly to his room, determined to confront him about the distorted reality that had been painted in those files. You didn’t even knock on his door, and you felt surprised when you noticed it wasn’t locked. You open the door, and you close it from behind, entering the room. He was standing close to his bed, completely oblivious to your presence. It was like he expected you to burst into his room out of nowhere.

“You finally read the file,” he said, looking at his wrist without making eye contact. 

He was focusing on buttoning his cuff links, his fingers fumbling with the buttons, his white shirt still open and his blonde hair wet from the shower. His normally confident demeanor was replaced with vulnerability as he waited for your response, the tension thick in the air. It was the very first time you saw him not perfectly dressed up, without styled hair and shiny shoes. The sight of him standing there, so different from his usual self, caught you off guard.

“Yes, I’ve read your fabricated tale,” you said, trying not to look at him, at the droplets of water sliding down his temple, his fingers still struggling with the shirt. “You should have become a fiction book writer, you got talent.” 

"I just wanted to impress you," he admitted, finally looking up to meet your gaze. “I can see I got a reaction from you,” he definitely succeeded in catching your attention, with those iper-articulated lies, not even close to what really happened.

“The agreement was that I won't say anything bad about you, just be by your side as a trophy-fake-girlfriend in this stupid gala, inventing absurd stories won't win my reputation back," you said firmly, crossing your arms. 

He reached his desk where there was a glass of some alcohol sloshing around, poured himself a drink and took a long, deep swig. “They won't believe you if you only stand by me like a mannequin, you have to be an active member of their social life, so they can get to know you, sympathize you and maybe forgive you,” he said in a calm tone, you could see his profile while he was again drinking from his glass, his shirt still open that showed his toned body.

You immediately looked away taking a deep breath. “I won't be a part of any false narrative you wrote,” was the only thing that came to your mind. 

He scoffed his head, “Just for the period of the presidential campaign, nothing more.” 

“Are you suggesting that this ridiculous act is going to take longer than just a day?” 

“I know you don’t like me, you just need to pretend you do. I’ll do the same,” he took another sip of that liquor while looking at you, “the publicist said just one appearance at the gala isn’t going to be beneficial to either of us.”

“Why are you telling me this now? The plan was slightly different,” you said

“Oh I knew you were going to be reluctant about the idea of pretending to live here, just for show,” he was serious, his fierce eyes looking at you waiting for a reply.

“I almost tolerated your presence at work, and now you want me to live in the same house as yours?” You asked 

“After the gala, they are going to focus on the ‘new couple’, our performance has to be something they really believe in,” he leaned his head at the same height as yours, “we already don’t have that chemistry, at least they are going to think we live together,” Coriolanus said to your ear, his curls brushing your cheek. 

“I simply decline your proposal, find someone else.” You said with a fake smile.

“Didn’t journalists harass you every time you left your little apartment? How exhausting, isn’t it?” He whispered in a sarcastic tone, making you remember all those times you ran away from photographers. “I got peacekeepers here, no one is going to bother you anymore, as long as you don’t bother me,” he turned to the desk, placing the empty glass in a tray, “strangers in real life, lovers on the outside.” 

“The problem is that I despise you, I cannot do this for one more day,” you couldn’t see his expression,  just his white see-through shirt displaying his back muscles.

“No, the problem is that you don’t understand how fucked up your situation is,” he was now facing you, “I know people who were condemned for way less, you are lucky,” his words were sharp as blades.

“Lucky to have you? It’s a punishment,” you said and he laughed. 

“Then don’t come at me crying at why people still hate you,” he took a few steps closer to you

 “So you can comfort me like you did a month ago?” You asked him pointing out the most absurd lie in that file.

“Oh, so you read every single page, you really did your homework.”

You stood your ground, refusing to be manipulated any longer. He was doing that purposely, just to provoke you, saying those things just to see how far you could take. Coriolanus was looking at you with his piercing gaze, attempting to intimidate you, he expected you to buckle down and crumble in front of him, but you would never give him such satisfaction, you were already in hell, so why not play with fire? 

“Why me?” you asked him, and you saw a sense of surprise in his eyes. “Why, of all the girls in Panem, you decide the only one who can give you trouble?” You took a step closer to his figure, “there are so many good girls from rich families and intact reputations, why me? I’ll just ruin you.” You said, trying to catch his eyes looking back at you. But you could only see his frowning eyebrows, his wet messy hair and a droplet of water trailing down his neck, you were so close to him, you could hear him breathing.

“Everybody knows your name, bad press is still press,” his eyes finally met yours. “You are the center of attention,” he took a step back, as if momentarily distancing himself from the tension. “The presidential elections are extremely competitive, it’s not a race for who’s superior to whom,” he licked his lips, “but who is going to perform better for these people looking for distractions. “We are going to be their little show”

“So tell me Coriolanus,” you stepped closer as you were before. The height difference was such that it made you look up at him, you took one side of his shirt in your hand and you buttoned up with the other, feeling his warm torso on your fingers. "How exactly do you propose to fix my reputation while bolstering your own?” you finished, a sly smile dancing on your lips and your eyes looking for him. 

Coriolanus was looking down at your fingers still brushing his skin, he had his lips parted and he softly whispered, “just play the game,” his eyes still fixed on you. He was talking about making everything right again, but it felt like there was something more behind those words. 

You stepped back, trying to compose yourself. “I’m just giving them another reason to hate me with this bunch of lies,” you were looking down at the floor when you heard him stepping closer to you. You didn’t look at him, but you could feel his eyes on your face. 

He lifted your chin with two fingers and made you look up at him, “I’ll make them fall for our lie,” he said, his voice was so deep and calm.

 “You are a master manipulator,” you whispered back, looking down again as if the floor was more interesting than the man standing in front of you. 

You heard him chuckle, and he leaned closer to your ear, “and I’m going to teach you how to be one too.”

Your first public appearance after the scandal was going to be at this gala. Everything was calculated in detail, the dress you wore had to be long and white, as pure as snow. Your hair had to be loose so it could cover your exposed back, and apparently you had to memorize pages and pages of answers you could give. After your intense conversation in his room you decided to play the game seeing how far you could take, how far you would do to take everything back. He wanted you under his spell, he was trying to shape you how he desired, for his own interests. 

“Dear, why aren’t you dressed yet?” The publicist said to you while you were sitting on the smooth sheets of your bed. You had your bathrobe still on, it’s been thirty minutes since you had a shower but you had your head in the clouds. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about your conversation with Coriolanus, his wet hair, the words he said to you, his naked torso, his manipulating eyes. You repeat to yourself that he was Coriolanus Snow, and not any man, he probably told you half the strategy he really had in mind. Being with him was like playing chess blindfolded, you had to trust him but he could mess up your moves, change your plans.

“Come here I’ll help you,” Iris said, she seemed like a good person, she had a comforting smile and an elegant manner with everything she did. She was wearing a short coppery-brown color dress, it was shiny as her nails, decorated with tiny gold stones. You took her hand and you stood up, making the bathrobe fall on the carpet. The silk of the dress soothed your skin like a petal, you looked at the mirror and the weak light coming from your window gently reflected on your bright dress, almost making it shine. 

“It is really pretty,” you said astonished while turning to see your exposed back. Then your smile disappeared because you remembered it was him who picked the dress. 

 “You are making it pretty, my darling,” Iris stated as she fastened the zip on your side. It was a simple dress yet delicate and impressive, it embraced the shape of your body effortlessly. 

“It is just a little loose here on your waist,” the woman said, touching the excess fabric on your side. You remembered the conversation early this morning when you proudly said the dress fitted you.

“I’m going to tell Tigris to fix it,” Iris said and you immediately looked at her reflection in the mirror.

“No please,” she changed her expression, “it is bad luck to mend a dress the same day it is worn,” your mother always said that to you, maybe it was not a popular saying considering the publicist's face.

 She tilted her head with a confused smile as she touched the yellow-butterflies-clip in her voluminous red wig. Now that you were thinking about it, you sewed your skirt the day it happened, ‘it’s just a coincidence, I don’t believe in these things’ you said to yourself, you were not superstitious but at the same time you avoided superstitions, just in case.

 “Whatever you want,” Iris said with a soft smile. 

  You touched your neck and you thought how a shiny pendant would look good. “Iris, do we have some necklace to match this dress?” She stepped closer to you looking at your chest. 

“I think you shouldn’t wear any jewelry tonight,” you tilted your head in confusion, “see, today is your first appearance after the,” she paused, “incident.”

“And what is it supposed to do with jewe—“ she didn’t let you finish your sentence.

“You could wear pearls or diamonds but what would the elite think? That you want to appear, that you want to show off,” she walked behind you so you could see her reflection in the mirror. “How you present yourself is the way they perceive you,” Iris brushed your long hair on the side, exposing your neck, “you are wearing a white dress, ‘how pure!’ No diamonds, ‘how modest!’ “try to think like the socialites, once you enter their minds, your act will get a standing ovation”. Her words put everything in a different perspective, she really knew what she was doing. 

You heard a knock on the door, “the party starts in an hour!” A muffled voice said from the corridor.

“Thank you Ariandes, we’re almost done!” Iris said in a loud tone. 

In less than sixty minutes you had to put on your best mask and try to change the mind of a thousand people about yourself, with Coriolanus by your side, pretending he is your supportive lover. You felt a rush of anxiety on your chest, like a weight pressing against your heart.

“I don’t think I can go,” you whispered with a trembling voice. Iris made a worried look.

“Oh sweety, I can only imagine what you have been through,” she took a lilac glass flask from the desk beside the mirror, “you are a strong woman,” she sprayed a lavender fragrance on your neck and she smiled. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, and with all your strength you tried to keep the tears that threatened to spill over. “Iris, how do I fake being so interested in someone?” You asked, thinking about what was written in that file. 

“Have you ever been in love?” She asked with a soft gaze.

You didn’t know the answer to that question, you had a couple of boyfriends in your university years, but were you in love? 

“It’s when every atom of your body's only desire is to burn at the mere thought of being with that someone,” Iris looked up, like she was thinking of somebody, you felt even more disoriented with her answer. 

You couldn’t identify that feeling with anyone, you’ve never met someone that made ‘your cells burn’. What would that even mean, you thought.

 The door opened and you turned your head to see Ariandes, the political advisor, “We gotta go,” he said looking at Iris. The man had his hair pulled back in a long braid, dark as his skin. You walked in his direction and you followed him.

The moment you stepped into the car you felt a sudden tension, it was dark outside, only one side of Coriolanus’ face was lit up by cars passing by. He was wearing a red coat that covered the rest of the outfit, his blonde locks were lightly falling on his temples and you noticed he was wearing a ring on his left index finger.

 “Act as natural as possible,” Coriolanus said and he looked at you, it felt like he was inspecting your body and you wished to be in his mind at that very moment.

 Was everything going according to plan? 

No, you didn’t want to know what it was like to be in his head, it was torturing enough being on the outside. 

“I’m not very good at lying,”

‘not as good as you’, you wanted to say. 

He looked at you like he read your mind, luckily you couldn’t see his expression. “Don’t be impulsive, smile and never leave my side,” you felt he was giving you orders, “what 's going to happen at the political campaign depends partially on today’s gala.”

 “You know, Mr. Snow,” you started “I tried reading your fiction-book but it was so,” you tried examining his face, “unrealistic,” he scoffed and looked the other way, “you want me to paint you as the man you aren’t and never will —caring, affectionate and respectful “I can’t do miracles, people won’t believe my lies forever.”

Coriolanus clenched his jaw, “at least the whole Panem doesn’t hate me,” he said close to your face.

“Yet,” you added, hoping to maintain eye contact one more second. 

“And just a reminder,” he said, “without me you would have been at home, crying and begging for forgiveness,” he whispered in a bitter tone in your ear.

 “And without me you wouldn’t have the attention you crave so much,” you replied, feeling the tension in the air. 

Coriolanus was too close to you, like an animal before hunting his prey, you could see his facial features reflecting the weak light outside. The engine stopped, and the driver opened the car door.

“Mr. Snow” he said and Coriolanus stepped out of the car, he didn’t even look at you. 

‘He would slam the door in my face if he could’, you thought.

 You took the driver’s hand, helping you get out with your long dress. Coriolanus took his maroon coat off and he gave it to an avox at the entrance. You could see him from his back, he was wearing an ivory jacket and trousers, his suit matched your gown. He calculated every single detail. Unexpectedly, Coriolanus waited for you as you stood by him in the hall, he extended his arm and you looked at him. 

“Do I have to?” You asked and you noticed a white rose on his breast pocket. 

“It’s just an act,” he replied and you took him by the arm. 

Let the play begin. 

The ballroom was lit by magnificent chandeliers and the air was filled with whispers and laughter. The atmosphere was comforting and energetic: people with colorful wigs, glitter dresses and sugary drinks. There was not a face you could recognise, it was not what you were used to, even though you have been living in the Capitol for all your life, you’ve never experienced a party like this. You walked through the crowd with Coriolanus by your side, arm by arm, while everybody was looking curiously at your direction. You’ve heard someone saying his name, and something about the girl he was walking with. 

Why her? Since when does Snow have a girlfriend? I’ve heard really bad things about that woman.

And there it was, the gossip, the uncertain glances and how they looked down on you. On the other hand, people were praising him. 

He’s so charming! White suits him well! Future president of Panem. 

You looked at Coriolanus, the warm light was making his eyes brighter, or was it the crowd? He looked at them so proudly, with a confident smile, he was living for that moment, being the center of attention. He met your gaze, then his blue eyes looked at your dress, but not the same way people did. 

It felt different. 

Was he judging? 

Admiring maybe? It was a mystery, nothing was black or white with him. 

Coriolanus greeted a couple of his acquaintances, introducing you as his partner, then calling you his date and it once slipped from his lips calling you his girlfriend. And you actually were, in that moment, you had to act as his beloved girlfriend who had a well known bad reputation. He never let your arm go away, he was acting so well, playing the caring boyfriend who couldn’t leave you alone. 

“Here they are, the couple of the night!” A loud voice came from behind, it was Flavius Windbuzz, one of the most famous tv hosts in the Capitol. His voice was recognisable from miles away, it didn’t matter if you watched television or not, he was everywhere and it was impossible in Capitol City not knowing his name. 

He stepped closer to you with a glowing smile and a glitter microphone, he had his hair gray, more like silver. “Everybody is talking about you, the new Capitol lovebirds,” a camera was pointing at you and your heartbeat was getting faster, everyone stopped talking and stared at you both. “So tell me Mr. Snow, who is this young lady you are showing off?” 

“You said it right Flavius, she is my girlfriend,” he did it again, Coriolanus said girlfriend, this time broadcast on tv. 

“What a pleasure to meet you,” the host said to you, he took your hand and kissed it. These exaggerated gestures were the usual in this type of parties, especially where a silver-haired-man was interviewing the guests. He asked about your family, if you liked the food —you didn’t touch any but you lied, and who was the designer of your dress, everything as the script said.

  “Honey, you are a really interesting woman but I have to ask you something,” Mr. Windbuzz said, “people are talking and it is my job to satisfy their desires. “So tell me, are the rumors true?” 

You expected a much worse question, you stopped breathing for a moment and Coriolanus noticed that because you tightened the grip on his arm. “You tell me Flavius, what do the rumors say?” You answered with a soft smile hiding your discomfort.

  “I know that during the last edition of The Hunger Games, something really unfortunate happened,” you noticed he had purple contacts on, and that was something that made you even more nervous. “Is it true that you took part in the incident we all saw live on TV?” He asked and you felt like your heart was beating outside your chest.

“It is true,” the crowd gasped, and your pulse increased. 

“So tell me, how did it feel when you killed those poor and innocent tributes?” The question was worded differently than what you read on that file. 

Killed. 

Poor and innocent. 

You couldn’t get out of your head their lifeless faces, the foam coming out of their mouths and the sound of the cannon echoing in that room. The hall started spinning, you saw the interviewer’s face, a mix of compassion and concern, as the crowd started whispering more and more you felt your head cold and heavy. The microphone was pointing in your direction but you could not even stutter a syllable, blank pages wandered in your mind and you felt a sense of emptiness. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you turned your dizzy head to see Coriolanus who started talking for you.

“She was more than devastated, I remember—, ” you saw his lips moving like the time had slowed down and you were not listening to his words, his voice echoed in your ears as you never took your eyes off of him. 

His grip on your shoulder tightened and his eyes looked at you as he tilted his head suggesting you both could go away. You followed him even though your ears were still ringing and your sight blurring, Coriolanus was walking too fast so you took his hand in yours or you could really faint on the ground. At that action, he looked at you with a confused stare, his hand grip was firm and steady as he dragged you in the bathroom. After checking no one was in there, he leaned against the door so no one could step in. You stood in front of him, his curls falling on his forehead that was a little sweaty, then he began talking, but the sound of his words were just an intense ring in your ears. He placed both his hands on your cheeks trying to have your attention, and you woke up from your hypnotic state.

“They are just hypocrites, they are the ones who watch The Hunger Games on tv, they send money to help their favorite to kill.” Coriolanus said looking in your eyes, and you started sobbing. “They are not better than you, “stop crying and play their game.” 

You felt the warmth of his hands on your skin, he never touched you this way, it was intimate, nothing you could expect from him. For a moment, you brushed your hand with his but he instantly removed it, walking away from your sight. 

“He was too indiscreet,” you heard him whisper, “I should’ve expected that from him.” 

“No Coriolanus, I should’ve expected this question,” your voice was still trembling, “you said it wasn’t going to be easy, I deserve this, “do you still think this act is a good idea?” You asked him. 

His tall figure leaned against the green tiles of the bathroom, he had his hands on his pockets and he was looking down, thinking about who knows what. Now that you were seeing from a distance, he resembled an angel. His white suit, his blonde curls and the perking blue eyes. No, there was nothing pure and heavenly in him. You thought he was probably thinking about how you ruined his plan, how he had to intervene to save your umpteenth failure and he was now calculating another strategy. 

‘Not an angel, a fallen angel, the next Lucifer of Panem.’

 “The night is still young,” he said while stepping to the door. He didn’t answer your question, was he regretting meeting you? 

Everything was as you left it. The party was still going and no one seemed to have noticed your panic attack. That was a relief. You tried distracting yourself, you couldn’t stop thinking about what happened before. The interview, the crying, his hands on your face. Everything was worse than you had expected. You and Coriolanus were in the hallway next to the massive columns that supported the ceilings, on the other side people were dancing to a classical melody. You wanted to stay there, outside their sight, because to you the dance floor was more like an arena where people were going to attack you. 

“Shall we?” Coriolanus extended his hand suggesting to go dancing with him. 

“I’m not good at dancing, I could step on your feet,” you hoped it would’ve been enough for him to give up. 

“I’ll take the risk.” That was his plan, acting like nothing happened and putting his best smile on to be the charming man everyone adored. 

You took his hand, the same hand that wiped your tears off your face was now intertwined in yours. Every time you looked for an excuse to not like him. As if you had to remind yourself that you hated him. Did you? He was dancing with you so naturally, holding you like you had known each other for a very long time, his hand on your waist as if he was used to it. There was nothing evil in him on the outside, and that was the problem. 

“I’ve just saved your face, thank me later.” 

You rolled your eyes at Coriolanus’ words. “I’m used to humiliations so next time don’t bother yourself.” you replied.

“Oh but I’m not used to it and don’t worry, there will be no next time.” Without a notice, he made you twirl around.

“When will this thing end?” You asked annoyed.

 “I hate it as much as you,” he pushed your waist closer to him, this way you were face to face, noses touching. 

“What the fuck Coriol—,” 

He interrupted you, “for the cameras.” 

You turned your head and you saw a bunch of flashes, blinding your sight. Coriolanus leaned over you and your lips were brushing, you couldn’t push him away because of the photographers. You had no time to tell him something, that he kissed you. It was for a second, just one second where your lips touched. It was cold, dry and unexpected. Just like him. Snow by name, snow by nature. If only eyes could talk. You’d probably say to him how you wished you weren’t there, with him, and you wondered what his blue eyes would say to you, probably the same. After that moment, Coriolanus didn’t say a word to you. You were there, smiling at photographers hoping to drop your mask as soon as they’d left. 

The rest of the night went according to plan. Flavius interviewed all the future candidates and Coriolanus had the opportunity to make his well prepared speech, he also got invitations from influential members close to the president Ravinstill, not to mention the many sponsor offers he had. At least something was going well, for him though. The ride back home was painful. You and Coriolanus were looking outside the window, his crimson coat was the only barrier separating your bodies. 

“Did they ever tell you how bad you are at kissing,” you hated silence so much you could say the stupidest things that came to mind just not to hear your thoughts. You turned your head to see him and his eyes were already on you. 

“Mhm, girls usually compliment me for other qualities,” he chuckled, “and then that wasn’t me kissing, remember it’s just for show,” he whispered looking at the driver hoping he wasn’t paying attention.

“Well, no one believed your poor attempt to look in love,” you said and he untied the knot of his white tie. 

“I was caught off guard,” he said looking at you, cars speeding in the window behind him, “and I can’t just kiss how I would normally do.” 

You tried not to laugh at his words, ‘what would that even mean?’ you thought. “Just try to convince them, because you didn’t even convince me.” 

“How should I kiss you then?”

He put his hand on the back of your head, with his thumb brushed your temple and he pulled you closer, his lips touching yours softly. You knew what was going to happen, but you let him do it. 

The way he kissed you, like he was starving for your lips, hungry for your taste. Was he the same man that kissed you before? You melted in his touch, his hand slided down your neck, his fingers pressing on your throat, making you shiver even more. He tasted like mint and posca, his hair smelled of roses and his skin was warm under your touch.

 Coriolanus pulled away from your lips but you came closer to cut the gap separating you. It felt like an instinct, like you were not satisfied enough and you could feel a sense of heat down your core. He pulled away the coat that was between you and his other hand was now on your exposed back, keeping you closer, his tongue still dancing dangerously with yours as you intertwined your fingers in his locks.

“Coryo” you said between kisses.

He wasn’t intending to stop and neither did you, but you remembered who was the man who was holding you that way, whose hands were making you shiver, whose lips were making you want for more and what nickname you just whined. 

“I think we should,” you managed to say, trying to stop yourself from doing something you were going to regret. You broke the kiss, his lips were swollen still too close to yours. 

He whispered, "I told you, I can be convincing when needed.”    

🦋 A/N: I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, let me know what you think in the comments! I’ll probably explain the details of the scandal and how they met next time, it’s way more than you can imagine from here. Also I KNOW there is no smut here, but bear with me, it's a slow burn and trust me in the next chapter I’ll add some ✨ spice ✨. In this first chapter I wanted to set up the atmosphere.

A special thanks to Freddie Mercury and the song “Play the game” that helped me when I was stuck, to the poet Taylor Swift who reminded me of the many ways you can say the color red. PLEASE let me know if you want to be tagged next time 💌 

ask me questions here !

@gracieghost36955 @annavatar @ghostlyloversworld @badbussylol @gracieroxzy @coolcatyarb @coriosgf @xxrougefangxx @devils-blackrose @wearemadeofstardust0

[loulalover]

sinful irony.

adam x fem! reader.

summary: Your forced into a Christian camp because of your mothers lies to her church friend. But after you see her son your sold. Only question is how do you seduce her Christian son or what if you already have?

cw/tw/tags: SMUT, porn with plot, camp counsellor au, m masterbation, oral f receiving, p in v, degrading, use of the word daddy, slight public sex, sort of dubious consent, mentions of pregnancy, virgin adam, adam is my own warning!! let me know if I've missed anything cause i'm SO tired!!

!a/n: i'm not liking this at all but i just want it done!! so i hope at least someone finds this enjoyable cause the formatting is killing me cause I tried to make all the text small and it kept crashing my tumblr so I’m done!! fuck being aesthetic I guess!! @sniigura

Eden camp where all teens went to learn how to be a better Christian’s and in all honesty there was no place better to go and as camp approached Adam was uncertain on what it would entail. He had perfected most if not all of the activities they did when he was a camper so now it was time to flex his skills to a bunch of teens and teach them what is right and what is wrong. Although his ideas of what right and wrong might be a bit misconstrued?

Maybe if his childhood was remotely normal he would have been a normal adult that goes out partying and drinks a shitload of alcohol during the summer but instead his pretentious mother had convinced him to be a youth leader at camp this year. Let’s give three big hoorays for Sera and her amazing ideas!

Adam was excited to an extent, but then there was Lucifer. The slimey son of a bitch who stole not one but two of his ex girlfriends. You can’t really come back from that and to top it all off he was the one that Adam was leading the boys Cabin with. The fact he’d even have to be in the vicinity of and share air with that fucker made his skin crawl with disgust l.

At least he had his best friend Lute would be there who was trying her best so keep her composure after being assigned a cabin with Lilith. Lucifers soon to be wife and Adam’s first ex girlfriend. If you could even call her that. The relationship was off? To say the least. And if it couldn’t get any worse Eve would be there. Of course she would, when this all started they were happily in love and talked about how going away and teaching at a camp for a couple weeks would be so beneficial to their relationship. But alas she would be there.

Sweet Eve, who wouldn’t love the ever loving, beautiful church girl? The girl who’d foster baby birds back to health after they fell from their nest and would go out of her way to help lost children in the supermarket find there parents. Adam. Adam did not love her. In fact he despised her in a way. Okay maybe not despised but it’s hard to love the girl who cheated on you with your ex best friend and ex girlfriend. Just because you never slept together!!

He kind of wished as the days approached that Eve would get into some horrific accident so he wouldn’t have to face her. As horrible as that sounds.

He just couldn’t imagine having to face them all after he walked into Eve’s apartment that day to them fucking like bunnies. It was a sight for sore eyes and as much as it hurt Adam to let go of Eve and all they’d been through together he couldn’t seem to make peace with the fact she’d sought out others and ended the relationship a week later. They still saw each other of course in places like University, church and most importantly the youth group they started running together in their senior year of high school for young teens wanting to learn about Jesus.

He should have just found a new youth group and started assisting there but Sera talked him out of it. She spewed nonsense about how the kids loved him and needed him and he was a great asset to their church. And with his ego boosted he continued as he was like nothing happened. But now camp was approaching where all he would see are these people and he couldn’t exactly ignore them.

Just then his phone pinged. The name read mom. Not that Adam ever called her that anyway.

[Mom]: Hello Adam, as camp is approaching I thought it would be a good idea for yous who are leading to set up a group chat. I have forwarded your number to the girl who is sharing a cabin with Eve and she’s going to set up a group. She looks forward to meeting you.

[Adam]: ok ma thanks for letting me know

That was all Adam sent. He didn’t want to start anything with her or further continue the conversation so he just let it be as it was. As he scrolled the through his socials he saw a couple messages pop up.

As he scrolled through the messages he picked up on the girls name. She seemed cool enough but no photos indicating what she looked like. There was her full name though. So without a second thought Adam searches your full name into instagram and only one account comes up. So he clicked and oh fuck.

She looked gorgeous. Her photos emanating how flawless she truly was. She surely didn’t look the part of a Christian camp leader though. How did she even get this gig? One of the requirements was being Christian.. He knew that for certain. Maybe he had her mistaken. Surely she was better than what she led on.. right? That’s at least what Adam hoped as he turned his phone off and threw it somewhere on his bed and did his best to fall asleep. It was in vain though, fuck were you pretty.

Adam ripped down his boxers and rubbed at his member. He massaged his fingers over his tip and groaned as he pushed his head back into his pillows.

How did you have such an effect on him? Some prostitute looking whore who looked like she’s flash her tits to anyone. Adam wanted nothing more than to knock some decency into you. No well respected girl dresses like that. Right?

As Adam groaned again moving his fingers up and down his dick before fixating on the base. It felt good in a way. The pleasure Adam felt was indescribable but it was only pleasure he got from himself. He had never actually had sex.

It’s not like it was that big of a deal. So what if he hadn’t fucked a bitch, who needs to do that anyway? Not him, that’s for sure.

He had come close though. Not with Lilith even kissing Lilith was a struggle for the both of them and quite frankly was something they did a handful of times but with Eve he delved further. It did take them a while. Adam didn’t want to give into his unholy urges so he held out, like any responsible Christian boy would do.

Eve seemed understanding though he could sense her disappointment when he pulled away before they even got the chance to make out. He could see the looks of despair and how distant she acted after he turned down her further advances. She never communicated this verbally to him but he could sense it. He knew she longed for more and in a way it made him feel like she had the right to cheat. He always reassured himself that her decision was selfish and he had no reason to feel bad for someone’s wrong actions but sometimes late at night when he’s alone with his thoughts he wonders what would have happened if he’d just given in. Maybe then he wouldn’t be alone and she’d be here with him.

He remembers when he did give in though. They were in his apartment and they were making out. An odd occasion that Adam didn’t often indulge in. Our he wanted to appease her so he went along and her carried away. They undressed and hadn’t do en thought twice of the consequences until Sera had barged in. How she’d gotten in was beyond Adam bjr he was lectured for weeks after it and was made to go to confession to confess his sinful actions. From then on him and Eve went back to stage 1 which consisted on an arm wrapped around her while they watched movies, band holding and little pecks ok the lips. He could tell she was unsatisfied with how things had to be though.

Adam felt his dick twitch and could feel he was close to climax as he kept massaging his cock. He wishes you were here with him to help him. Wait no he didn’t? He didn’t even know you. Bur still you were beautiful. At least to Adam and as he kept rubbing he felt climax reaching and he let it cumming all over his hand and sheets.

He let himself feel the pleasure for a .2 seconds before the guilt settled in. He felt it in his gut the overwhelming sense of dread. What did he just do?

He immediately got up and wakes to the bathroom running the tap and squirting 5 pumps of soap onto his hands and lathering it, rubbing his hands together and soaking them under water and repeating the ritual 2 more times. He calms himself who’re returning to the side of his bed and gets down on his knees at the side of the bed and bows his head.

Adam prays. He prays for forgiveness and to help him overcome his lust. He prays and prays until he finally doesn’t feel ridden with guilt and gets up and turns on his TV. He pots on whatever show he can find and turns down the volume. It drowns out his thoughts and puts him to sleep quicker.

And just like that the days flew past and Adam was now boarding a bus. It was loud and full of teens who seemingly had bundles of energy even though it was 7am. Adam was trying to hype himself up while sipping the coffee Lute and him bought on the way here. It was going to be a long ride full of attempts to sleep and failing because whoever the fuck on the back of the bus is playing 2000s white girl tunes and screaming them like a banshee. He wasn’t going to say anything he was happy enough. Especially that he didn’t even have to ask to be sat with Lute on the ride there. Usually you were made to sit with whoever you were sharing a cabin with but under the circumstances Adam was allowed to sit with Lute and Lucifer and Lilith sat together instead.

He was happy enough with the arrangement and stuck his headphones in. Lute was already sat by the window scrolling away on her phone. It was too early to expect her to socialise and in all honesty he didn’t want to socialise either. He needed sometime to recoup to even be able to physically live when he’d be sharing a room with Lucifer and a bunch of rowdy teenage boys for the next couple weeks.

It wouldn’t be terrible especially not when the pretty girl he masterbated too with sitting across the aisle from him. Though she was chatting up his ex girlfriend Eve and for a split second he wished he was her instead. What is he even thinking? He turns away from you and unlocks his phone scrolling through whatever he can to keep himself occupied as they set off.

You had noticed Adam. In fact you’d found yourself into him the moment you met his mother at your parents house.

You were visiting for the afternoon when you met Sera. She was a tall, elegant woman who held herself well, with dark skin and vitiligo on her cheeks and white almost luminescent eyes and lashes that made them stand out even more. She was slender and had the most beautiful grey ringlet curls you had ever seen. This is was Sera? You kind of assumed Sera was some blonde bitch who had several different baby daddies and lived off church’s money but this lady carries herself with dignity and was self assured.

She was delighted to meet you, said she’d heard so much about you. You were sure she hadn’t though. Your parents had a habit of lying when it came to you. You felt guilty that you weren’t the daughter they envisioned but they weren’t the parents they envisioned themselves to be either. So you sat there indulging in your parents lies. It was somewhat comical of how much they came up with. But what can you say it was funny. Key word was. When she started talking about how her sons Christian camp needed more leaders you felt your stomach drop.

You had half the mind to tell her your parents had been lying for years and you were in fact nor the perfect, church going daughter she had envisioned and having your parents be blackballed from the church community. But you played it off and said you would think about it and expressed pity. She looked delighted and told you her son has just broken up with his girlfriend a couple months ago. How he was perfect marriage material and how you two would make a lovely couple.

Your head was spinning. Okay first this ladies trying to convince you to go to some random camp and help out there and now she’s talking about marrying you into her family? She’s crazy especially when she brought up about her son being a virgin.

‘His names Adam and I think you too would get along great.’ She chimed and she sipped on some of the tea your mother had brewed a couple of minutes prior who stood by the counter sipping a cup of coffee looking on edge. Probably in case you slipped up on some heinous lie she told.

‘I’m sure he’s great.’ You smiled at her sipping away at your own coffee and internally trying to keep yourself sane.

‘Here look.’ She said momentarily pausing while flipping through her phone and pulling up a photo of her what you thought was going to be her dorky, repressed loser ass son who would probably live in his mothers basement till she died and he finally could have access to the whole house. But looking at the photo..

He was sexy and what can you say? You were easily bought. It helped you in other ways too!! Like you get extra credit from your university for working with kids. Totally justifiable. At least that’s what you told yourself. Damn you didn’t think you’d have a thing for conservative, Christian virgins but here you are on a bus to a Christian camp with one goal in mind. Fucking Sera’s son.

You sat down across the aisle from him and introduced yourself to Eve. You had spoken to her once or twice over text message and a couple times more in your camp counsellor group chat. But seeing her in person was a different experience.

She was etheral and you couldn’t help but feel inferior to a girl with such good looks and personality. She had dark skin and her hair was pulled into box braids. Her eyes were a deep chocolate coloured brown and looked soft. She had large breast and wide hips and stomach rolls.

She was beautiful and her smile radiated happiness as she introduced herself. She seemed happy and in her environment. She seemed the type of person who could be placed anywhere and just fit.

She told you all about her youth group and how she ran it with her now ex boyfriend. Adam.

Looking at her surely that couldn’t have been right? She was Adams ex girlfriend? She was gorgeous. The definition on beauty nobody could compare to what she looked like. It made sense though someone as gorgeous as her needed somebody to match her. And Adam and her fit like puzzle pieces intertwined they complimented each other insanely well. And he never had sex with her? If she even mentioned the word sex she would have been pinned to the bed immediately. You couldn’t understand why Adam would reject her sexual advances. Surely she’d made some, so why did he say no to her? She was the kind of woman who could make Victoria secret models feel inadequate. You wondered if that was why they had broken up. You tried not to make assumptions as you chatted to her. Maybe cracking Adam would be harder than you first assumed.

It was a long drive and felt even longer now that you had arrived. Your cabin was far and your case with heavy and your eyes practically drooped with exhaustion and your head hung low but you pulled through. You greeted the girls in your cabin warmly and expressed your excitement. You weren’t actually too happy to be here but you weren’t going to let anyone here know that.

‘Alright guys, lets get going! When we get to the cabin you’ll have fifteen minutes to get sorted and then you’ll have free time for the next two hours before dinner.’ She chimed cheerfully. That was getting old. How is she so cheerful after travelling six hours with one stop? Still you smiled as you pulled along your heavy ass suitcase.

‘Need help with that?’ Someone from behind you asked.

He sounded even hotter. Was this grounds for having children? Nope not even close. But it was him. Adam. And fuck was he sexy. Even sexier than the photos you’d seen of him.

‘Yeah.’ You stated smiling turning to face him. ‘You think you could help me with it?’ You questioned a tilt in your voice. You don’t exactly know what it is but men love to play the strong, dominant, I’m so great card a lot. Especially because they presume your helpless. You don’t necessarily like playing the ‘I’m so helpless’ princess card but if it’d stroke his ego enough..

‘Of course babe,’ he smirked smugly winking at you. ‘names Adam.’ He said picking up your case with ease and walking ahead up to your cabin.

Adam was a big guy, you knew that from the photo you say of him but seeing him in person was a different experience. Especially when he’s just picked up the case you could barely bring to your car and trug to the bus driver with ease did something to you. Maybe your just ovulating.

You followed him along with your easy carry on bag, smiling at him as he made it up the hill. ‘Thank you so much.’ You smiled at him looking up at him and slightly batting your eyes. Is that sexy? You hope it is.

He seems to think so as a grin plasters his face and he looks you up and down. ‘No problem gorgeous.’ He states looking back down the hill he sees a group of boys walking the same direction.

‘Look at that our cabin’s our right next to each other.’ He states smirking and winking at you.

‘What luck.’ You whisper loud enough for him to hear. ‘It’s been so nice to meet you Adam but I gotta go unpack.’ You state backing away smiling at him.

His face drops for a second then contorts and he looks angry and he looks like he’s going to say something but he doesn’t and just like that he’s back to smiling. ‘Yeah me too, but after orientation with our cabins the counsellors are going swimming down in the lough. You should come.’ He winks.

‘Yeah I will, see you then.’ You wink back retreating up the steps to your cabin and pulling your case into your assigned room.

The rooms are nice, cosy actually. The bed’s are made of wood with red bedsheets and white pillows and it reminds you of one of those winter cabins you’d find in the Christmas movies. They’re tiny to preserve space but you’d rather that than a bunk bed. You both have a wardrobe each and a mirror. The room isn’t terrible but you’d have to make do with the space at least for now. So unzipping your case you start to unpack your clothes and shoes into the wardrobe.

‘Hey, you nearly ready?’ Eve chimed while popping head round the corner of the door.

‘Yeah, practically all done.’ You replied.

‘Great, I forgot to tell you we’re all going swimming later, well the counsellors. You want to join? I totally want to get to know you better and everyone else would love to meet you.’ Eve said. She was so soft spoken and genuine it made you want to hug her.

‘Oh yeah, Adam mentioned that to me I’d love to.’ Her face contorted for a second into confusion but it’s almost like she realised what face she was making and went back to making her perky, happy face.

‘I’m SO excited, I can already tell we’re gonna have the BEST time together.’ She said walking towards you and taking your hand. Her hands were warm but not in a sweaty way but in a comforting way, it felt like taking a mother’s hand warm and soft.

‘Me too.’ You replied smiling at her as she kept your hand in hers dragging you to the living room for orientation.

Walking to the lough wasn’t long but Eve made it longer by pointing everything out and practically speaking to everyone she had any relation too or people she did not know. She’d been here every year since she was thirteen and now she was in her twenties. Doesn’t she get bored, apparently not.

Walking down the steps you took off your cover on and flip flops and placed your towel and phone on top of them. Scanning the lough your eyes fell on Adam who was sitting on a paddle board looking bored but as he looked up and locked eyes with you he smiled waving you over to him. So You pushed yourself down the ladder and into the water.

It was hell, the water was cold and any joy you had before this had been sucked out of you. Your face said it all as a little farther in the distance you could her Adam laughing at you. You glared at him as you made your way over.

‘You good down there?’ He asked still laughing slightly.

‘No.’ You quivered, teeth chattering. ‘Help me up I’m freezing.’ You practically yelped but Adam looked down at you with a shit-eating grin.

‘Uh-no, I’m good.’ He smirked chuckling to himself.

‘Fu- frick.’ You cursed changing your word mid sentences. Christians don’t curse. ‘I’ll do it myself.’ You stated repeating the ‘I can do it’ mantra in your head. You pulled yourself up slightly your hands clasped on the edge as you pulled yourself further but Adam just had to be an asshole. Of course he did as he pushed his foot towards you and pushed it against your chest causing you to plummet backwards under the water.

As you resurfaced choking on the water you’d just inhaled Adam cackled at you and your predicament. You clasped at the side of the paddle board and you rubbed under your eyes blinking the water out of them to help you see.

‘Here babe.’ Adam calls helping you up and sitting you beside him. You open your eyes fully looking at him.

‘You got a little makeup.’ He states rubbing the black mascara marks on your cheeks away with his thumb. You lean into his touch as he cups your cheek and squishes it slightly. You push away and smile as him bring your knees close to your face. He scrunches his nose and pushes you back off the paddle board and jumps in. You screech as he swims away and you try to catch him. You play around with him till the other counsellors announce they are going back to shower. You stay back with Adam. It’s not like you could use the shower if Eve was in it.

Adam sighs as he lays back on the paddle board you previously sat on. You lay beside him tired out yourself. ‘I fucking hat it here.’ He groans placing his hands over his face. Your surprised ro hear him curse but you turn to him before turning your head back to the sky.

‘Any particular reason?’ You question trying not to pry but what can you your a major gossip. And a slut but that’s besides the point.

‘That fucker Lucifer and his soon to be wife Lilith the fucking snakes.’ He hisses. ‘Stole my fucking girl and now I have to see her everyday and get reminded that she fucked them.’ He went silent.

‘That sucks.’ You sigh. You don’t really have anything else to say apart from that. You weren’t really sure if anything you said with help.

‘Yeah it really does, but fuck her she’s missing out.’ He puffs his chest with somewhat pride. Okay he bounces back quick.

‘From what exactly? A virgin?’ You sneer, not with malice but more jokingly.

‘Who said I was a virgin?’ He yells, sitting up and dramatically looking at you. You have half the mind to tell you his mother told you but you don’t.

‘I can tell.’ You state back to him as he glares at you before looking away embarrassed.

‘And your not?’ He queries.

‘A virgin? Hell no, lost that a LONG time ago.’ You laugh at his shocked expression before an idea pops into your head.

‘Hey Adam?’

‘What?’ He questions.

“Wanna see something?” You question lips curling into a tight smirk. Adam nods hesitantly unsure of what kind of surprise you’d pull in the middle of the lake.

You slowly and carefully lifted down the top piece of your bikini exposing your breast and hardened nipple.

The shock on Adam’s face was all you needed to see as you swiftly lifted your bikini back up to cover yourself again and giggled.

You placed your hands on his shoulders to keep yourself afloat and giggled “Do you like that?” You mused. He sputtered on water as he tries to recollect himself. Was Sera sure this girl was Christian?

You giggled at him as you swum back, he followed in toe grabbing his stuff.

‘You know if you wanna learn I’ll teach you.’ He looked away obviously flustered before flipping you off and cussing you out. You started to walk off but before you did you turned around and spoke.

‘Oh yeah and Adam? You might wanna fix that before the meeting, not very professional you know?” You smirk suggestively, attempting to make eye contact with the more than flustered man to no avail. Turning on your heels you walked off back to your cabin to unpack the rest of your shit you hadn’t got to before orientation and shower before your dreaded meeting. You heard him yelling in the distance. Something about how you could only dream of sucking his dick? Maybe coming here wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The meeting went by fine but you could see Adam stare at you every so often and his boner was gone. At least he knew how to do something you thought. As you sat by the campfire roasting marshmallows with your cabin and conversing. You could feel Adam’s gaze on you but you ignored it choosing to leave him to make the first move, which may take a while. So as you packed up for the night as walked back to the cabin hearing Adam call you wasn’t what you expected. His cabin was all packed in for the night as he walked towards you.

‘You forgot something earlier, come on it’s on our balcony.’ He mumbled dragging you along inside. The cabin layout was basically the same as yours and you could hear boys chattering and moving around and room light’s under closed doors. You walked towards the balcony with Adam. Walking outside he closed the door behind him and walked you over to where you couldn’t be seen behind the curtain.

‘What’d I l forget?’ You questioned. You didn’t remembering leaving anything but to be fair you we’re forgetful and didn’t realise until the last possible moment that you forgot something so.

‘This.’ He said approaching you and pulling you into him. He met your lips and kissed you. He placed his hands on your hips and picked you up placing you on the nearby table. You clung your arms around his neck pulling at his hair and deepening the kiss. He groaned as your tongues clashed together. He leaned you back breaking away from the kiss and sucking at your neck. Fuck you we’re gonna have to cover that but you didn’t have the willpower to make him stop as he moved down to between your legs. He looked up at you like a lost puppy. He didn’t know how to proceed.

You sat back up and undid your pants pulling them off. Adam copied and watched as you pulled down your underwear and showed him your pussy. He looked in awe.

‘Wanna eat me out?’ You asked. He nodded moving his hands to your thighs as you leaned back down.

Adam was hesitant at first but quickly got the hang of it as he licked up your clit. A moan escaped your mouth your legs threatening to close around his head. Adam suddenly gained momentum as he sloppily started making out with your pussy, sucking away at you as if he was drunk.

You bit down on your hand to prevent your moans from becoming louder and risking getting caught as Adam kept his pace as he tongue fucked your cunt and you could feel the pleasure start to pool in your stomach and you could feel yourself getting close.

Adam mumbled against your pussy ‘You taste so good.’ He whispered before continuing to kiss as your hole.

Adam’s nose moved against your cunt and you felt yourself beginning to release and you came undone around him moaning his name. Adam wasted no time in licking up your cum.

As he moved away from your still wet pussy you could see his erection outlining his boxers. He moved to your lips sloppily against his. You could taste yourself on him but you didn’t seem to care as he pulled away and pulled off his boxers.

Looking down his dick was girthy and totally big. Fuck were you in for it if he could figure out how to use it. But he’d never used his tongue and was still one of the only guys to make you cum so he has to be doing something right.

‘I’m not using a fucking condom so let’s hope I knock some fucking decency into you slut.’ He groans as he slides his dick into your cunt.

It feels electric as you ride on the ecstasy as Adam pumps inside of you. He knows what he’s doing as he whispers curses and nasty words at you.

‘You like that whore? Tell me how much you like it?’ He grunts pulsing inside you still as you babble incoherent sentences totally high on his dick.

‘Use your words baby.’ He whispers into your ear. ‘Does daddy make you feel good?’ He questioned. The use of the term daddy in any other scenario would make you cringe but the way Adam said it made it sound sexy.

‘Yes.’ You hissed as he continued thrusting into you and hitting your G spot just right and just like that you came undone under Adam for the second time that night. He might be a virgin but he KNOWS how to fuck. That’s for sure.

Adam came soon after right inside you. Kind of made you wish you weren’t on the pill so you could have his baby.

Adam practically came in buckets to put it bluntly. His head was lying on your shoulder as he pulled out of you and you could feel the cum running down your legs. Hopefully nobody seems. But you couldn’t say you didn’t exactly wish that. You hoped someone would see in a way. Getting caught is thrilling and especially at a Christian camp.

Recollecting yourself you pulled up your undies and felt Adam’s cum mixed with your own squelch against them as it rubbed up against your already sensitive clit. You choked back a moan as you pulled your jeans back up buttoning them.

You sat at the edge of the table waiting for Adam to speak as he dressed himself. He walked towards you situating himself between you legs and lifting your chin up to softly kiss you. You were entranced in the kiss when you heard someone calling your name.

‘Fuck I gotta go.’ You whispered hearing Eve call your name. You pecked at Adam’s lips as you slid off the table and opened the door. ‘Goodnight Adam.’ You mumbled, winking at him and closing it behind you and running out the door to meet Eve and drag her back inside with you.

Adam leaned back against the table. Fuck was that was amazing. Just as he was about to get up to go back inside someone came out to meet him. It was one of his campers. The ones he was responsible.

‘Hey um Adam?’ Isaac called. He hummed as he moved next to him. ‘I have something to ask you but it’s kind of awkward.’ He trailed off looking to the ground.

Adam smiled at him. ‘Ask away, I’m here to teach you and guide you.’ The way he spoke differentiated between the kids and the way he spoke to you. It was kind of comedic how fast he could switch up from being a manwhore to a holy man. Vast difference between the two but Adam could be both.

‘You see I keep falling into lust..’ He mumbled. ‘And I’m really trying not too but I find it really hard. And I guess I was wondering how to deal with it? How you’d deal with it?.’ He questioned. He sounded exasperated of all options at this point and Adam was proud to guide him in the right direction. To tell him what he would do.

Suddenly Adam’s stomach dropped. Wait what did he do? Lust is a sin. But not only lust, sex. Sex before marriage is a sin. He just committed one of the most terrible sins and felt no remorse until a fucking child asked him? Is he being serious?

What had Adam done? He’d went against his beliefs and what he stood for. His morals something he swore to never do till marriage with a girl he JUST met. What had he done? How could he make up for this? No, no no. This can’t be happening it’s not real. Adam stumbled over his words and talked about prayer and reading the Bible and how it really helps and sent Isaac back to bed and he thanked him profusely as Adam smiled but inside he felt suffocated. How could he guide children and help them when he was going against everything he and they believed in? Adam knelt down on the floor and prayed. I mean what else could he do?

[fangweaver2099]

𝐅 𝐀 𝐖 𝐍 𝐓 𝐄 𝐄 𝐓 𝐇 - CH 1 - YOUR GPA

MINORS DNI 18+ FIC

You’ve always liked the idea of having a dominant partner - BDSM was something you’ve read about, watched videos about.

Something you made Pinterest boards and aesthetic tumblr posts about when you were 18 and curious, the idea always sounded nice, but you’ve never done it in practice, not really. Sure you bought fuzzy handcuffs at a gag gift store once, but that didn’t really count.

You’re still a virgin.

You’ve always had that chronically awkward, workaholic type of vibe that made typical dating near impossible at worst and frustrating at best. Normal dating apps have proven fruitless and agitating. So poor curious little you talked yourself into making a fetlife account. You weren’t looking for true love, but at least you could get laid.

DM Request from: 10:13 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Hello, Fawn.”

College was for new experiences after all.

CW: BDSM heavy/centric fic. Safe, Sane & Consensual. Miguel is your professor, but you both don't know that. Age Gap (Y/N is 23, Miguel is mid 30's)

TAG: @slut4oscarissac23 @iamtheprincess227 @haveclayeveryday @sphynxfoxslut69 @junehasnotbeenfound @thedevaxer @bunnibitez

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3

This semester had proven to be your most challenging yet - mostly, because of your second-choice, genuinely miserable, truly terrible genetics class.

You, Babs and Taylor had literally stayed up all night, desperate to get into Professor Parker’s class. After all, you all had heard that��he was awesome .

He played movies on Fridays, he did hands-on experiments, hell he brought his adorable baby to class regularly. You had him last semester and he dressed up as Ted from Curious George for Halloween and his daughter was George. 

It was adorable.

The problem was that there was only one other professor teaching that same level and subject - Dr. O’Hara . 

You never heard or seen him before, but it seemed he only taught a class or two a semester. Still, just in case, you checked his rate on my professor page and... 

Well, it was a bloodbath . 

You had honestly never seen a score so low. Apparently, he was strict - serious, rarely offered office hours, and graded so harshly that needing to retake the class was common.

He treated his students like they were stupid , one person remarked. The guy’s a massive dick, another said. 

The amount of people who made accounts specifically to rate him was hilarious, if not shocking.

Why your college kept him employed, you had no idea. It seemed like every student that had taken his class had hated him so viscerally that the school had to be aware of just how pissed off everybody was. 

Tenure, probably. It was probably tenure. 

You all agreed that you had to get into Prof. Parker’s class. 

The three of you camped out in your living room the night class sign-up went live. Even if Taylor fell asleep halfway through the most recent season of Demon Slayers, you just tried to sign them up on their laptop. You swore you’d be successful, ready the moment they opened….

You… were not. 

The three of you settled with the knowledge that, unfortunately, you would be stuck with Dr. O’Hara, whether you liked it or not. At least you’d have each other, and it’s not like you weren’t experienced in learning on your own. 

See, you were a shining example of a woman in STEM. You hadn’t entirely picked if you were going for genetics or bioengineering yet, but you were convinced that you’d succeed wherever you went, and that included Dr. O’Hara’s class, no matter what his reviews said. 

The very first thing Dr. O’Hara said instantly made you decide that you hated him.

“You’re in an introductory class, you shouldn’t be getting A’s. If you’re getting A’s, you don’t need to be in this class.” 

That, of course, was a lie. Beginner’s principles of genetics - despite the name - had prerequisites. You were here to learn about Proteomics, not what the fuck ever he was trying to explain to you at nine in the morning on a Wednesday. 

More than once, you considered joining Babette and Taylor in their weekly ritual invoking him to get hit by a bus. 

O’Hara’s only saving grace was that he treated everyone equally like stupid children. You’d heard horror stories about old professors being sexist pieces of shit in any male dominated field. No, to you he was just a regular piece of shit. Egotistical, dismissive - uninterested. 

Who hands out four assignments on the first day of class? Dr. O’Hara sure did. You were convinced he didn’t know his students took other classes. 

Taylor, for all their faults, took shit from no one, but even they had met their match in this man. You remembered all too well your third class.

It was the very first time he paused, turning to the room of exhausted, caffeine fueled college students. 

“Any questions?” Dr. O’Hara asked the room… for the very first time. You could barely see the protein structure he drew on the board and almost didn’t catch it. 

“Yes, have you considered you’re bad at teaching?” Taylor didn’t even raise their hand - just leaned forwards in their seat to demand it of them. You were too far back to really see his expression, but you decided it was a grumpy indifference. 

“No. Next question,”

Your only saving grace was on the commute you always got coffee. You tried dressing normally for class - ‘elegant’, or… whatever clean girl tiktok label you found people assumed you were. Now you started dressing like you were homeless. Baggy sweatshirts, pants. You wore your glasses so you could actually see what the fuck he was writing. You sure were living the college student life. 

Your other classes were easier - so much easier. Most of your free time was consumed with Dr. Asshole and his stupid ten chapter readings and essays. 

When classes started, you became more scarce to Web, but he seemed mostly the same. When you did talk, it was flirtatious. Sometimes, you wondered if he was getting bored of you - but it wasn’t like he had collared you. You were just... cyber…sex…friends. 

Sure. Cyber sex friends. 

About a week into adjusting to your classes he finally brought it up.

 5:00 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Settling into things?”

“ Trying my best. Tired, 1 hr commute. ” - Fawnteeth - 5:18 PM

 5:20 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Isn’t everything an hour away here in NY?”  

“ Haha seems like it. ” - Fawnteeth - 5:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Things are finally settling in on my end. We should discuss when we’re finally meeting up.”  

“ Oh gosh. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Nervous?”  

“ Yes, kind of. I need to think about it - classes are more overwhelming than I expected this semester. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Not a problem. I’m very patient.”  

“ Not eager to see me? ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Twisting my words against me, pet. Naughty.”  

“ It’s okay. This is a lot, honesty - not that I’m not excited too. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “If it’s too much to meet in private we can always find somewhere to have coffee before we take things further. It has helped other submissives take the edge off before.”  

“ Let me think about it. I really do like you, Web. Don’t think I’m going to ghost you or anything. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I like you too, Fawn. Think carefully though, if meeting in person is too much I don’t want to hold either of us back if we have different priorities. No hard feelings.”  

“ I do, probably in public, especially since I’ve never seen you. I’d like to not lose you. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You may not have the same level of experience as others I’ve met, but I would be lying if I said you weren’t special. Teaching and guiding you has been a privilege.”  

“ So you’re saying you like my naivety? ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Yes. Is that a bad thing?”  

“ No. Like I’ve always said, I do appreciate the honesty. Let me get over this week and… We’ll figure it out, I promise. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Alright, pet.”  

You were instantly smacked by the reality of the situation. The fact he wasn’t just some handsome anonymous guy online who made you feel good - but a real living person who could have his hands on you.

For the first time in a long time you felt… nervous, no -

You were terrified .

Him being pushy made you nervous. You convinced yourself he had the right to be - after all, he established his needs on day one. You just… hadn’t been entirely open about your own experiences. You needed a plan - you needed time.

So, you managed to smooth it into a “ I’m really busy and still don’t feel ready right now ”, which Web thankfully accepted. 

Instead, he put the little pink lovense to use. Especially when you mentioned in passing a movie night with your roomies. 

 8:32 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Let me know when you start. Last chance to back out, Fawn. You sure you want to have me tease you while you’re with all your friends?

“ I’m sure. It can’t be… That bad. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:43 PM

You were wrong. It was bad .

You were practically shivering, a blanket bundled around you and pillow gripped tight that you had to bite to keep quiet as everyone else cackled about the movie in front of you. There was a new movie everyone demanded to watch. It was all childish fun, perfectly normal until you stuck a vibrator up your pussy. You would rather die than let them know you did this.

(it felt especially fucked up that you were on the verge of cumming while watching My Little Pony.)

He knew how to torture you. It was like he was there watching with you, choosing the perfect times to increase the settings. He had let the first twenty minutes go by without a touch, letting you adjust to the feeling of the egg inside you. Only when you had almost forgotten its presence did he turn it on, forcing you to make a startled gasp that you had to play off as a reaction to the movie, your cheeks beet-red and tingling.

It was turned off more than on, sometimes letting it buzz gently inside you for minutes at a time only to shock you with an intense burst of waves that had your toes curling. Half way through the movie you looked down to see a message ping you.

 9:20 PM - WebRigger2099 - “How are you doing? Color?

“ Is that the best you’ve got? Green .” - Fawnteeth - 9:21 PM

The regret you had for sending the message was instant, but you really were a glutton for punishment.

You damn near came then and there, power maxed out as he set a cruel rhythm that simulated a thrusting insertion. It only took you two minutes to have to excuse yourself into the next room. Sweat stuck your hair to your neck and you were so glad you decided to sit away from everyone else wrapped in your duvet. 

“ yellow yellow yellow oh my god ” - Fawnteeth - 9:23 PM

The buzzing stopped in an instant and you saw him typing.

9:23 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Go somewhere private and show me what I’ve done to you while you take a break, pet.”

“Yes sir” - Fawnteeth - 9:23 PM

You snuck back into your bedroom, leaning on the door in effort to keep it closed while you pulled your sweatshirt up and sleep shorts down. 

Your panties were soaked, even your shorts stained dark with your arousal. With one hand keeping your shirt up to show off the matching bra and panties he bought you at once, you sheepishly snapped a picture in front of your bathroom mirror, a dark mark on display for him. 

9:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Such a good girl. So wet for me. I don’t think I could resist tasting you if you were in front of me. I bet your cunt would be delicious.”

As agonizing as some of the games he played with you were, you couldn’t deny his compliments weren’t worth the potential shame.

He let you go after that, leaving you to try and scramble for the plot of the movie you had hardly paid attention to the past hour. You brushed off any comments of your forgetfulness as exhaustion. 

After all, you had class early the next day.

Your first assignment back from O’Hara was a fucking D. 

The entire sheet was smothered in red, making it apparent how inept at the work you “should” know. It was humiliating. You really didn’t enjoy being humiliated by that stupid old man. Revisions raised your 67 to a 72. 

(You had never gotten a C  in your whole god damn life, let alone a fucking D.)

You cried. Pathetically, sitting in the middle of your room, you cried . 

Your GPA was single-handedly going to be ruined by this one fucking professor

You’d given up everything for this chance to do what you actually loved and one egotistical asshole might ruin it. Maybe your estranged father was right - you should have stayed in nursing school. You’d be an RN by now, not a college freshman. At least being a geneticist (or biomedical engineer) made good money. Student loans weren’t a problem yet .. 

Your only saving grace was he did everything via the student portal and you sat with Taylor and Babs at the back of the classroom so you never really had to look at him, just hear his voice and watch the whiteboard. 

He wasn’t very good at explaining literally anything, often rambling on about the semantics of a lesson or discussing the practical use of certain proteins and DNA structures. You wanted to rip your hair out when he would say “the thing” practically twice a class. 

Who the fuck let this man teach? 

He knew what he was talking about - to himself. His diagrams and concepts on genomes were correct. He was a doctor of genetics - so it wasn’t like he didn’t know what he was talking about… but it didn’t mean he could teach others what it was.

You’d had bad teachers and were no newbie to learning on your own, but even still. 

A part of you wanted to cry to Web about it, but you didn’t. You’d rather him be that relief from your frustrations and commute than another person to complain to about it. You two had a very specific relationship and it was best to keep it that way. 

On Sunday Aurora put it upon herself to improve everyone’s mood. Beach trip to the shore tomorrow, so Princess Carebear declared.

You did want to show Web the new swimsuit you got, it was August and plenty warm enough to go swimming on the Jersey shore… you bought a strappy bikini with him in mind. 

It was pink and cheap. It made you feel girly. You even shaved your upper legs, ignoring old memories of your mother telling you only whores did that.

You were not a whore, just a girl with… a… master? Dominant? 

(he said you two were exclusive. that meant something.)

You had gotten so casual with photos you included your tattoo more than once, not knowing the disaster about to be unleashed on your life. The teary eyed fawn smothered in roses on your upper arm was your prized possession and your biggest identifier. 

Web never commented on it, you forgot it existed more often than not. After all, it was a gift to yourself. You told the tattoo artist you wanted your innermost self on your sleeve. So…a terrified fawn with big droopy eyes. 

Prey.

You didn’t think about your tattoo when you sat down in front of your mirror and snapped a few pictures trying on your new bikini. Your self confidence issues flared, but part of you knew Web’s words would fix it. He always said the sweetest things. He made you feel pretty. 

You didn’t need to improve your own self esteem if he could drill it into you, which he seemed more than happy to provide. 

It was something you two had talked at length - he wanted to build you up. Some submissives needed to be torn down, released, allowed to be an object or a hole. You wanted to feel special, like a prized… pet. 

You were a white hart; a dove, a unicorn. Something to be molded and groomed. You played at princesses as a little girl. Beauty and the Beast had been your favorite, it still was. 

Web was happy to oblige, he made it clear he enjoyed seeing you flustered and being the one to covet you like a prized pet. He however made it clear that he had high expectations for you.  

(It was your responsibility to tend to what he owned after all.)

You picked your favorite picture, it put emphasis on your cleavage, pushed together ever so slightly using your arm. You even tugged the bottom straps up to make your hips and thighs look bigger. You adjusted everything back to normal once you took the pics, biting your lower lip as you sent them to Web with a flirtatious heart emoji. 

7:05 AM - WebRigger2099 - “Look at you, little Fawn; So delicious. You make me want to hunt you down like a wolf and tear that cute outfit off of you.”

Mission completed, you tossed your beach clothes over your swimsuit, a tight white sleeveless tee and jean shorts. You threw flip flops in your knapsack and put on your sneakers. You forwent your typical homeless chic and your messy hair in favor of something more appropriate for the beach. 

Instead, you styled your hair cute. You put a pink scrunchie your baby sister Franny had gotten you when you were 17 in your hair. You missed her, soon she’d be out of high school and then maybe you could try reaching out. You didn’t want her to get punished.

Truth be told, you missed your whole family, shitty dad and pushover mom included.

You didn’t text Web in class. After all, he had a tendency to shift conversations to the suggestive -  you didn’t exactly talk about the weather, nor did you have that much in common. 

It felt nice to always have an idea of what your talks would be. It was such a contrast to navigating the rest of your life.

It was nearly 8:20 when you were finally out the door with Taylor and Babette for class. You three took the subway then caught a bus, then two city blocks and then across your college campus. 

It was Monday. So your first class… was beginner’s principles of genetics. Now Taylor’s slow walk of exhaustion made sense. You considered trying to talk to Dr. O’Hara about your grade. Taking 4 points off because you didn’t “fully” explain something was fucking ridiculous. You explained your reasoning but kept it succinct. You could only explain biochemicals for so long. 

How much could someone write on the components of a DNA molecule? 

Apparently more than you did, according to Dr. Asshole O’Hara.

You tried to not think about it as you scrolled instagram on your phone. Your feed was mostly summer vibes at this point of the year, but cottagecore was coming back in style. You often followed too many Japanese dog instagrams… but they were so much cuter than regular dog instagrams. 

You found yourself pausing to reply to the roommate group chat text about where on campus you all were meeting up as you strode into the classroom ten minutes earlier than usual. You often came in with like seven other people - but you, Babette, and Taylor were the only students in the classroom. 

You didn’t notice Dr. O’Hara, or how he was staring at your bare arm and your little teary eyed doe. You just reassured Aurora that driving in the city wasn’t that bad as you resumed walking to your seat.

Taylor groaned as they sat down, tossing the book bag they’d been using since the sixth grade on the floor and pulling their sticker-smothered laptop out. Babette sat down next to you, her jansport on her lap as she pulled out her tablet. Your own laptop was a second-hand Dell that you had taped the edges of to keep it from falling apart - it was easier for you to take digital notes. 

When you sat, you considered actually approaching Dr. O'Hara - you wanted to know what his expectations actually were, but when you glanced at the podium… he was missing.

You swore he was just there, standing, brooding like always. You shrugged and went to retrieve your own laptop. You weren’t often this early to class, maybe he came and left till 9:00 on the dot. He seemed like the kind of person to do that.

[kuoukyeee]

Kengan characters on social media

This is what I think the kengan characters would do, some of them aren't very accurate cus I haven't read the manga in soooo longgg.

Let me know if you guys want a part 2!

Feedback is appreciated!

Sfw

Adam Dudley

Mostly public accounts with a pretty large following maybe 2-3k. I can see him having insta and tik tok, I can't see him on twitter or tumblr just because he doesn't seem like the type to enjoy reading in his free time.

He doesn't post much (he does thirst traps and they sometimes go viral) and he doesn't add many things to his story.

His following consist of mostly dudes and a few girls who he's talked to or found him cute. His feed and fyp are filled with 'alpha' motivation and humor and pretty girls. You best believe he's includes himself in petty drama in every comment section.

Akiyama Kaede

Has instagram, twitter and tumblr. They are all private and only close family and friends follow her. Her profiles are very organised and pleasing to look at. She posts rarely, when she goes out somewhere nice.

In the mini comics it's cannon that she is into shipping fictional characters, so she probably interacts with the fandoms shes in. Her feed is her friends posts, a few outfit ideas here and there and maybe news. (Idk). She's not afraid to smash the 'block' and 'not interested' button when she sees something she doesn't like, she doesn't take no bs.

Elena Robinson

VERY organised and aesthetic profiles. Has to put her accounts on private because Mokichi forced her to, so she would be 'safe from weirdos online'. She mostly posts selfies of when she goes out with her friends (karla) and on her stories she puts cute animals and nice scenery. DEFINETLY has pinterest.

You KNOW all her friends are up in her dms and comments hyping her up. (Her friends are probably just as sweet as her🥺)

Hatsumi Sen

He's not very active, he only has a few decent pictures of himself posted. Messages every woman he finds and hearts all their stories, uses sucky pick up lines like the ones he uses on Shion. (They all block him). Like Adam, he listens to alpha male podcasts.

Though most of the time he's too busy relaxing, which leaves his accounts collecting dust. He makes excuses about leaving people on delivered but we all know he's just lazy.

Himuro Ryo

Just like Hatsumi he uses pick up lines when messaging women, however he succeeds as his ones aren't cringe. Posts pictures and selfies of him doing whatever frequently and all his simps eat it up. (Also posts 'felt cute might delete later' pictures).

He's pretty popular at 6-7 ish k. He's one of those people who have a shit ton of notifications.

He threatens posting unflattering pictures of Lihito and Okubo daily.

Imai Cosmo

Follows meme pages and sends memes to Seki and Waka. Has a private spam account and a public main where he posts pictures with his family on holidays.

His feed and fyp is mostly memes with some cute animal videos sprinkled throughout. Sometimes when he sees a particularly cute video, he leaves a positive comment like 'aww your puppy is so cute🥺' .

I can see him as the type to always have airpods in his ears blasting music so loud that everyone can hear. Seki and Waka have had to remove his earphones quite a few times to get his attention.

[stagkingswife]

I browsed your blog for a while and stumbled upon some posts that caught my attention.

You are someone who was really long in the community, what would you say appeared as a "norm" only recently? Like, I remember you telling that this Tumblr "talk to a Deity every day" or something in this field is recent phenomenon. Sorry, I am kind of sleepy and not sure what I am writing. Thank you!

I have been around for a while, I started this blog more than a decade ago, and you're correct, the whole idea of practice your divination/meditation/whatever every single day is relatively new. I think consistency used to be emphasized more than frequency.

There’s honestly so much that has changed over the many years on Tumblr, just in term of how people use Tumblr. Ask culture has really died off, for instance. Interaction in general has sort of died down over all - people don’t reblog or reply as much, so there isn’t as much conversation happening. And when conversations do happen I feel like there’s less variety and depth of practice out there. Maybe I’m biased because my own practice is so out there, but I feel like the occult landscape has gotten a little “samey.” I feel Ike the community used to be smaller, but more unique on an individual to individual basis. But as we’ve gotten to be a bigger community it seems like there’s no small number of people just repeating the same 101 info over and over.

There’s also a lot more emphasis on aesthetics lately. This has always been a thing, where some people really care about how their practice looks, and other people don’t. But I think since the pandemic boom in the online occult spaces happened because of TikTok and Instagram a lot of people who are newer to their practice think they HAVE to prioritize the aesthetics of their practice.

[fatphobiabusters]

Does anyone know where to find 3-4xl tradgoth fatshion? /nf

Sorry if this is the wrong blog to ask

Hi! This isn't the wrong blog to ask! I've separated this answer into parts to make this post easier to read.

Option 1: Independent Artists

I'm not super knowledgeable about where to buy fatshion myself. If I'm not simply buying from Torrid and hoping for the best, I'm probably buying from @mayakern. She's mainly known for her skirts, but she also sells shirts and I think is branching out to even more clothing types. These two skirts of hers may work for a goth aesthetic, and I think one is still available as a miniskirt as well.

A similar store is @freshhotflavors. They have an online store here along with their Tumblr. I haven't personally bought from them, but they work with Maya Kern. I've bought many a skirt from Maya Kern over the years and know her dedication to quality. She also has been very understanding with me about exchanging one of her skirts I accidentally got double of for christmas. So the fact that she works with Fresh Hot Flavors encourages me to trust FHF as well. I believe they sell some of her skirts in maxi length, but they sell a variety of other stuff too!

An artist that FHF works with who seems to make a lot of goth clothing is @vetiverfox. This is their website. I haven't bought from this artist either, but their skirts seem to be similar to Maya Kern's with the sizing, elastic waistband, and type of fabric used. So if their clothes are anything like Maya Kern's, I would give them a shot. Each of these three artists sell skirts that go up to a 6XL (though I think Maya has mentioned having some skirts that go up to 8XL too). I've only been talking about skirts, but each of these artists sells more than that.

Option 2: User Suggestions

I'm hoping our followers may have some advice for you about where to buy goth fatshion. @fine-ass-fatshion has knowledge about fatshion for sure. We've also recently reblogged some great goth fatshion from @wisteriaawillow, so I would definitely suggest asking them for advice on where to buy goth fatshion too. @iridessence wears a lot of pretty fatshion on her main blog, but her side blog @luxus-aeterna would be more your style. I don't know if the clothes she wears on that blog are technically goth or simply make me think of gothic clothing due to being historical clothing with generally darker fabrics, but look at her side blog just in case. I believe her FAQ mentions that she gives detailed information about how to find the clothes she wears if you donate to her work.

Option 3: Tailoring and Getting Creative

A lot of fat people have to resort to sewing and making their own clothes, but this can include taking stuff and simply making adjustments to them. For example, dyeing a shirt a more goth color, taking dollar store trinkets and making them into jewelry, etc. You can even do some clothing adjustments without needing to know how to sew! That's how I used to make my cosplays. People have suggested before to not discard the idea of going to a tailor either. If you happen to find some clothing you like but doesn't fit you, a tailor can help.

Option 4: Etsy and Commissions

Websites like Etsy sometimes can be a goldmine for specific aesthetics. However, Etsy tends to be expensive due to shipping and/or items being handmade by artists. I also hate that a lot of artists on Etsy charge fat people more money for the same product. Additionally, Etsy is probably a better store for accessories rather than your main outfit.

If you're willing to pay for the quality of handmade clothing fitted specifically for your body type and measurements, I've honestly considered the idea myself of commissioning cosplay artists for clothing, which can be done through Etsy or by meeting cosplay artists at anime conventions. If you go to a local anime convention and meet an artist there, you may even find an artist so local that you can try on the clothes during the process of making them so that you know they definitely will fit you at the end. I've thought about this usually regarding cosplay, but a cosplayer who does commissions would probably be able to make clothing that isn't for cosplaying a character as long as you gave them references.

Option 5: Online Stores and Our Pinned Post

Lastly, our pinned post has a link to our FAQ Google Doc, and that Google Doc includes links to online stores that sell plus size clothing. And here is a link to a post we shared about a month ago that has resources for buying jfashion. A lot of of the photos on the post include fatshion that could be useful for a goth aesthetic, though I say that without much knowledge about goth clothing.

I hope one of these suggestions will be of help to you!! Have a good day! cx

-Mod Worthy

[max1461]

I don't want to keep discoursing on evilsoup's post, so I'll make a new home for this sub-discussion here. To reproduce the relevant bits:

@max1461 (me) said:

I find that a lot of anti-anti-civ discourse revives (or perhaps merely continues, since they never really died) the cheapest fallacies of Whig history. There's not merely an acknowledgement of the (true, I believe) fact that industry and modern medicine make the lives of their beneficiaries much better, there is an implicit de facto and sometimes almost giddy dismissal of the value of all that came before. You get the feeling reading a lot of anti-anti-civ commentary that people are itching to condemn anything and everything of the past, and more troublingly any way of life that they personally view as obsolete, just for the sake of it. Just for the discourse thrills. It's reductive and it's unpleasant to engage with.

@sabakos said:

Honestly I have to say that indoor plumbing and modern medicine is good enough that I'd gladly torch even more of what came before and gladly spit in the face of anyone who tried to complain about it. Hypothetically, if the Ancient Greek language had had to be lost for modern plumbing to appear I'd flush the last manuscript of Plato down the toilet and lose no sleep over it. Fortunately, it didn't, but if it did it wouldn't matter.

You can't name one thing that even comes close to billions of people not dying of cholera or starving to death. So it's not surprising that people are eager to shit all over anyone who tries.

@max1461 said:

This is fine but it's totally orthogonal to my point. You acknowledge that Ancient Greek did not in fact have to be lost in order to get modern plumbing, but then gloss over this as if it's a minor aside. No! My point is that internet Whig history enthusiasts sometimes seem to be out to shit on anything and everything that strikes them as obsolete even when it does not need to be lost for the benefits of modern life to be enjoyed, for reasons that seem to me more aesthetic than anything else. Surely not everyone does this, but it's a common enough phenomenon to get on my nerves.

@sabakos said:

It's clearly something that bothers you, so maybe you could give some examples? Because this is all very abstract and I have no idea what you're talking about - based on what you've said here I don't think I've encountered this sort of guy despite being ideologically very similar to how you describe them!

---

There are actually people who think Ancient Greek (read: Inuktitut, Gan Chinese, Oromo) has to die for us all to get indoor plumbing! This is not actually an uncommon shape of opinion for people to hold, in the world at large. There are of course two versions of this, one more harmful than the other but both destructive: "we have to stop wearing kimono and start wearing suits or the Great Powers will never respect us", and "you have to stop holding potlatches in order to become civilized like us".

The point is not that these claims suppose different values than you or I hold, the point is that they are wrong, factually wrong. Unexamined Whig history of the sort which, as I said, sneers at anything that gives off vague whiffs of being "traditional" is making a set of factual errors. It's also often used cynically (as in the second example above) to advance political ends, but that's not really what I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about are people who seem to have a reflexive distaste for anything that appears to them overly sympathetic to the old, any cause with preservationist or restorationist undertones, even when it in no way conflicts with people enjoying the benefits of modern technology. This kind of thinking does active harm in the world. Random tumblr users are of course not likely doing any harm by engaging in it, given that tumblr discourse obviously has no political sway. But it's still frustrating to see a stance that is both incorrect and harmful so casually taken up over (what I perceive to be) petty discourse bouts.

Sometimes, old things are fine, and wanting to keep doing them is fine. When people oppose this, especially on reflexive, aesthetic grounds, I think it is bad.

To be clear, I've never seen anyone in this conversation (you or triv) do any of what I've described here. But I do see it a lot and it kind of drives me up the wall.

[hoardingpuffin]

Over the Garden Wall Fable AU Concepts

Okay, so - when I was across the pond to see my partner, them and I watched Over the Garden Wall. @the-uninformed-zennial had never seen it, and it's so very much their vibe so obviously we had to. And, as we are both Fable nerds, we ended up talking about potential AU ideas. I'd had two possible concepts for AUs floating in my noggin for a while and we fleshed them out together a bit.

Now, between (hopefully) finishing Three Wishes, and the holidays, and that pesky 30+ page bachelor thesis paper, I won't have time to write them as actual fics anytime soon, so I figured I'd at least put out the concepts somewhere, and Tumblr seemed like a good choice.

For anyone unfamilar with Over the Garden Wall: It's a mini series by Patrick McHale that aired on CartoonNetwork a while ago, focussing on two brothers stuck in the mysterious Unknown trying to get home and experiencing wacky halloween-y hijinks on the way. The Unknown is often interpreted to be a sort of afterlife/limbo, and the series has a lot of themes of that direction, but it's still quite charming and cute and funny (as it is made for kids).

_____________________________________________________________

Concept 1 Icarus and Rae are in the place of Greg and Wirt – they got into some sort of fight in the real world and ended up in a situation that made them enter the Unknown as a limbo between living and dying. In this case, the characters from the Unknown would be remaining a lot more like the ones we know from the show, so the Woodsman is just The Woodsman, the Beast is just The Beast, and so on. I’m not sure who’d be in the place of Beatrice, but there are a few possibilities. If we’re going with the popular interpretation that the Unknown is a form of the afterlife, then it could be someone from canon who has passed already (if we wanna be angsty, it could be Haley maybe? I am not sure if I want her to be though), or alternatively Beatrice could just be a random soul who, like in OtGW Canon, is trying to free their own family.

In this AU, the story would probably progress similar to the one in OtGW – Icarus and Rae trying to get home and through the Unknown, getting into more fights along the way, until Icarus ends up losing faith in being able to get home completely. Rae – much like Greg – would offer himself to the Beast in order to get Icarus home, and Icarus in turn would have to step up and be a responsible older brother and save Rae from turning into an Edelwood.

There’s a lot of similarities between Icarus and Wirt, I feel like, though Wirt’s anxious poetic nature seems more alike Rae. But both Icarus and Wirt have this streak of blaming their younger brothers for stuff that those brothers weren’t necessarily responsible for, and lashing out at them, so I can see Icarus in Wirt’s place rather well. Plus, well, Rae, like Greg, going on a whole arc of “maybe this is actually my fault so I’m gonna go with the Beast to try and fix it” seems fitting for him to me.

Concept 2

Now, the other concept I might actually like more by just a little bit – in this, the people lost in the Unknown would likely be Athena and Jamie, who (due to something other in the real world) are finding themselves in the woods, where they meet the Woodsman – who would be Rae. I can just see Rae being someone to devote themselves to being the Lantern Bearer for the Beast, if it meant to keep the soul of a loved one alive (though in this case it wouldn’t be the child, but likely Aax and Caspian) – plus, the Beast has the whole antler aesthetic going on, so that can overlap neatly with the warden in my opinion. Maybe it’s just cause the Woodsman is such a tragic figure already in OtGW canon, but I think it would be a neat spin to see that character lead the ones lost in the Unknown instead of just sending them on their way, to make the idea that he might be the Beast even worse of a betrayal, which I always thought OtGW was a bit light on. I wish they’d have given that betrayal as much weight as Beatrice’s betrayal. And then, once revealed to the Woodsman that the Lantern holds the Beast’s soul, not anyone else’s, the big fight feels in character for Rae to me, too. Rae’s devotion to the ones he loves is immense, and him fighting the monster that deceived him so – especially to also keep two innocent souls safe in the process – would not only be in character, but also give a quite triumphant turn for him in this AU. Plus, he’d get the happy ending he deserves once he actually slays the Beast and returns home to see that his loved ones are actually there and likely have been all along. The unfortunate side to his AU idea is that most of the characters in the Unknown, like Rae, already being dead and likely for a long time. However, Zenni presented an alternative idea, where the inhabitants of the Unknown aren’t always actually the souls of the deceased, but might also be sort of mirror-verse representations of them. I’m not sure how Athena and Jamie would get to the Unknown then, but it would be an interesting concept to explore, and give more detail to the world – plus, give Athena and Jamie both more of a reason to trust the Woodsman and either for the believed betrayal to hit even worse or for them to not believe it because they know Rae so well in the real world.

_____________________________________________________________

Now, obviously, these are just concepts, not nearly as fleshed out as I would make an actual fanfic - and some stuff might be jumbled as I've not actually written it out before and the whole Putting Things In Your Writing Brain Into Actual Writing thing is difficult as fuck.

Anyways. Those are the two ideas I came up with and have been mulling around my noggin. I don't know if I'll write them, gonna be honest, but - they are concepts alright.

[pinkcarabiner]

cw for racism, antisemitism, and (online) SA

I really, really wanted to keep this off tumblr, but unfortunately after recent events that have been brought to my attention, the behavior of two people has crossed the line to racism and antisemitism. This will be the only post I make about the situation. I run a femme discord server with several others, and about a month ago, we unfortunately had to remove a member for a culmination of things about a month ago, the last being contacting another member of a server with messages that made them uncomfortable which I do not stand for or tolerate (these messages were not sexual in nature). Prior to this incident, others had come to me in the past about this person's behavior. We tried to mitigate with multiple rule changes such as strengthening the description of what it means for our server to be “SFW” as well as a rule regarding substance use and by talking with this person directly. As this server is run by a fully neurodivergent team, we can understand that sometimes it can be hard to determine when someone has established a boundary or been made uncomfortable, so we wanted to be as clear as possible in our rules. However, even with the new rules, this person made others uncomfortable in both the server and private messages, so we made the difficult decision to remove them.

For over 48 hours after this person was removed, they continuously harassed members of the server across multiple platforms even after being asked to stop, or fully not contact them at all. It is my understanding that this person was removed from another online community they were a part of. No member of the admin team of my server is connected to this group in any way, nor have we spoken to anyone who runs this group. The choice to remove them from that group is something we had no part in, nor have we ever referred to this person as “predatory.”  Additionally, at the time, I had made it clear I would be taking a break from responding to private messages from server members to deal with a personal matter, which this person did react to. I was not “dodging” anyone’s messages. 

I have not, will not, nor have EVER made light of abuse or assault. The allegations against that person sending an NSFW video to the server is completely fabricated. My guess is it comes from people speaking about the situation, but they did not ask any member of the admin team directly. Any person who has come to me, or any server admin, about this allegation has been told the truth, which is that it did not happen. Although this person had previously violated the SFW rule which had been dealt with at the time that it did happen,  it wasn't the only reason they were removed. I have not spoken to this person or their partner, including through sending anons, but I did message with someone who asked about the situation, and told me they would try to make sense of it with them. 

This person and their partner have both made several posts about their removal from the group, each of which they had included this falsified allegation, or the narrative that we had them removed from another group, which neither are true. As I have stated, I did not want to make a post of my own as neither of them seemed to be willing to listen, take accountability, and take the time to heal, but they have crossed the line from manipulation to bigotry. This person’s partner called my femininity as conforming to “tradwife aesthetics.” If you don’t know the history of this word, it means more than “traditionally feminine housewife.” It is a word with nazi origins used to perpetuate a white supremacist idea of a submissive woman. This word has deeply racist and antisemitic origins, therefore it is deeply racist and antisemitic to apply this word to a Jewish femme of color, not to mention for a white person to critique the femininity of a femme of color. I am sure many other femmes of color will agree, but we have to work extra hard for our femininity to be “acceptable” to white people. It's no secret that racism is rampant within the butchfemme community, and these two have aided in its continued prevalence. It is my hope that they can educate themselves on the history of this word and begin to listen to Jewish femmes and femmes of color who continuously express bigotry in our community.

I would never wish ill upon anyone and I understand this individual is hurt, but I hope they can heal, make peace, and move on. I will not be naming them, but please do NOT send any hate their way.

[teeth-cable]

Have you seen The Amazing Digital Circus yet?

If so, what's your opinion on it?

I LOVE TADC! It’s my favorite indie show at the moment! There’s just so much I like about it but my main ones are

1. The setting and execution being unique. A horror-like project taking place in an late 90s/early 2000s digital game is not a new idea and same goes with characters being stuck in a purgatory however it’s how the artists reinvent those idea that makes it new. The digital Circus made its own aesthetic that makes it stand out from other projects with similar concepts and designs. When I first watched the pilot, one of many things that stuck out to me was how new the story ideas felt. I couldn’t think of any other pieces of media similar to TADC beside for surface-level comparisons. The TADC created its own aesthetic and knows what it wants to be and I like it!

2. Soundtrack. Speaks for itself, the soundtrack for the pilot is so good especially Your New Home. That song is very catchy and emotional too. It has such a unique melody, everytime you hear the first few notes you instantly recognize it. It does a great job highlighting the dread and existentialism crisis of Pomni’s situation. I recommend to give it a listen if you haven’t.

3. The characters dynamics. I just love how the characters interact with each other. The majority of the jokes comes from characters’ interactions and dynamics and how well everyone plays off of each other. The best example is Jax with everyone, Jax is a funny jerk who likes bullying his peers. It’s funny to see what creative ways Jax will bully the other people whether it’s being sarcastic and making quips at them, or though goofy pranks and how the characters react because of their contrast in personality. Every character beside Jax is openly stressed or worried in someway while Jax, at first seem like a chill layback dude.

4. The characters differences. I adored the differences between each character from how they talk to their poses. After watching HH and HB, I learned to have an appreciation for character differences. It’s just refreshing to see characters allowed to be different instead of the same tired reused tropes and repeating the same type of dialogue again for every character.

5. Mystery and lore. There is so much to explore in the pilot, it’s make you wanting more. When going in to watch the pilot, I made the mistake of thinking the series will be predictable. I didn’t see how they could make this premise work because by the end of it, Pomni will go insane but then I watched the pilot and was speechless. The pilot does a good job setting up questions for the audience to ask. If Caine lied about the exit, what are other things did he lied about? How long has the cast been stuck in the circus? Who are these people? Are they previous game developers? Who were they in their previous lives? What is the company’s motivation to create the headset? What are the abstractions in game? Are they viruses to the game program? Who were the former cast? What horrors has Kinger seen to be as paranoid and easily frighten as he is now? Do the abstractions still have a consciousness? You just want to find out more about the lore to solve the many mysteries in the show. I find it impressive Gooseworx was able to stir up the theorists because they have admitted in an ask, there are already theories floating around that are almost right about the show.

One problem I did have for the pilot were the scenes containing the Gloink Queen. The pacing of the pilot was fine until we got to her then it was slow. I feel it dragged longer than it needed too but beside that, my issues for the pilot ends.

I can’t speak for the fandom on other platforms but the tumblr one is great! Most of the time everyone is being respectful towards each other and I love seeing what creative theories, AU, fanfics, and art the fans created. The only people causing drama are the anti-shippers, and it’s just dumb. All of the cast are adults, if age gaps ships makes people uncomfortable, that’s valid but they shouldn’t make it into other people’s problems. Gooseworx themselves admitted they don’t care for romance and they don’t want fans in the fandom getting harassed over shipping.

Overall despite what issues I had for the pilot and fandom, they’re overshadowed by the positives and I can’t wait to see the full show and the fandom’s growth.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Me: I think I'll e-borrow this dark fantasy book with a cool cover. Book cover blurb: This book has lesbian necromancers! Me: ... Me: Okay, I'll still read it, but the fact that that's a selling point is a bit of a red flag to me.

Because I've read a fair amount of stories where the writer thought being gay (or some other minority) was inherently interesting, even if the actual story was completely generic.

I call it the "Gone Home" problem.

Sure enough, I thought the book was mediocre. Not because of the lesbian sub-subplot. Because I don't think it was written for people like me.

I think it was written for people like the stereotypical tumblr/AO3 user.

Spoilers for Gideon the Ninth;

So, the main character is gay, and she's horny. In fact, she keeps talking about her "girlie mags" through the first act, specifically to piss off her boss (who’s actually younger than her, but the de-facto head of their House). There's a reason for that, but we'll get to it later.//

Memes At one point, Gideon goes “You can't just ask someone why they're X.” At another, she tells someone “Slow your roll.”

This story is in the distant future. Humanity is ruled over by an immortal, necromantic God-Emperor, and his necromantic Houses with different domains. But apparently a character whose idea of literature is reading skin books can reference memes from before she was born. And not in a Deadpool way. She just does it.

Even the narration does it.

This is exactly the sort of thing Tumblr - or your average fanfic writer - would think is clever. And I speak from (cringy) experience. 

Also, I once read a popular fic which had an almost 1-to-1 reference to a certain meme scene in Firefly. Down to Jayne's hat, which wasn't even there in the original.

Took me right out of the fic. I even left a comment on the AO3 page; "welp, this is where you went too far with the references."

And before you ask, no, it didn't serve the story. Didn't really develop character, for the victims or the bad guy. It was just self-indulgent.

So, on top of constantly Deadpooling - without the excuse of breaking the 4th wall and being in a comedy - Gideon just generally acts like a surly, edgy teenager.

Because she is.

She is literally an edgy teenager.

She's trained with the greatsword. For the plot of this book, she has to accompany the head of her Great House, the Ninth House, to a house head meeting. They all have to bring their "cavalier primaries"; bodyguards/champions/armsmen to the house head.

So they give her a crash course in the rapier and obsidian knuckledusters, because standards and aesthetic (in-universe).

Gideon trained with the greatsword because she wants to join the military and escape. She hates the Ninth House, and the first thing she does in the fic is leave, pretty much the second she turns 18.

Which her House head Harrowhawk sabotages.

Harrow says she'll let Gideon go if Gideon acts as the CavPri. Because she's quite possibly the only person in the house who could, and the official CavPri ain't up to it.

Harrow, incidentally, is only 17. Her parents are the nominal head of house, but they've been dead for years, and Harrow has been puppeting them while running the show.

Come to think, it's not clear where Gideon gets the girly mags from. Her House seems pretty isolated. Maybe she trades for it with shuttle pilots. Or steals it off them. 

It's also not clear where her hair gel for her mohawk comes from. Or who cuts her hair. Her House does have food, but it's apparently just...delivered. From somewhere.

Oh, right, the House system.

I thought the 9th House was the necromancer house. Nope, they all are. They just have different duties and specialties.

The meeting is so they can compete to figure out the formula to become Lyctors. Which is basically some powerful necro-immortal. Right-hand men and women to the Emperor himself.

You know that meme about Marvel movies?

You know, the idea that they’re all shallow and with constant tension-breaking quips, instead of sincerity?

This book feels an awful lot like that.

Even after the ending, there's a serious in-universe document - which includes the vital info that necromancers permanantly skip leg day, arm day, and any other day, hence the cavaliers - followed by a random tension-breaking joke.

There's a strong Catholic theme going on here. Including the fact that our hero is named after a big-name religious figure, but is a girl, and gay, and hates her religion and traditions.

Muir, I watch anime. You're gonna have to try a little harder to push my religious buttons.

So, what does the Empire do? What is the life of the average citizen like?

We don't know.

What would happen if Harrow had the power? Or any of the others? What's their Lyctor campaign platform, so to speak?

We don't know that either.

What does Gideon actually want to do with her freedom? Heck, what's the soldier's life like? Does she want to learn more about the mom who left her with the house and then died?

Good question.

Noticing a theme here?

I understand the idea to keep things contained while you're setting up the world. But you really need to remember there's a world outside the isolated location.

-So, time for the obligatory Vorkosigan Saga comparision. That series cares an awful lot about the little people, no pun intended. 

Miles explicitly dedicates his life to fighting for the little guy. And he regularly runs into and makes friends with complete randos, and helps them out, helps them become better people.

The main plot turns into a murder mystery. Ironic, considering, y'know, necromancers.

People are dying, but the potential victims are mostly 15 people I don't know and don't care about. I don't even really care about Harrow or Gideon herself. The whole thing's like Daria.

(Or so I assume, because I've never seen or been interested in Daria, but one of the inside cover blurbs made the comparison.)

I want to say I dislike High School drama, but I watch a lot of high school anime. And I used to watch Glee and Riverdale. And I liked Mean Girls and Easy A and Election and I still want to see Grease.

Okay, but is it the whole "locked house mystery" aspect? 

Well, no, because I like the Knives Out movies, and the Agatha Christie novels that inspired them. Like And Then There Were None (10 Little Native Americans Indians).

Gideon doesn't really do much. In fact, there's literally a bit where someone gets murdered on her watch, and she feels guilty for falling asleep. it's obvious survivor's guilt, but I can't remember if she actually changed in any way.

I think there’s hints that she’s a tsundere toward Harrow, but I couldn’t actually tell. She has a ghost of a romance arc with a Mark 1 Ill Girl who can’t even leave her bed, but it would be boring even if it was straight.

The funny thing is, I stumbled onto the second book in the series, and did research, so I borrowed the first book, and now I don't want to read the second book either. 

Even though Gideon is dead, and it’s about Harrow.

Also, when the story shifts to Harrow's perspective, it becomes a lot more serious. The narration jokes are because we're following Gideon’s perspective. 

Even without that, I'm not sure I care about this world or trust Muir enough to spend few more hundred pages with her.

Though the cover is cool...

[nectar-cellar]

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

i am so late to this but thank you to everyone who tagged and mentioned me!! i loved reading your answers, i love being nosy.

let me get this first q out of the way:

Who's your favourite sim that you've made?

it's a tie between my 2 little meow meows pictured above 🥺

amir because he's the oc i'm most attached to and have most fully developed

vlad because i just love the way his sim turned out and he's such a fun character to think about

if they ever met, vlad would be like "greetings." and amir would be like "bro what the fucckkk" 😭

speaking of vampires i also love the idea of au-vampire-amir being this ashamed, existential crisis having vegetarian vampire who struggles with controlling and hiding his bloodlust.

i never get bored coming up with ideas for those 2.

rest of my answers below the cut :3

What's your favourite Sims death?

it's been YEARS since i intentionally made any of sims die. i barely do gameplay these days and i am attached to the sims i make. but when i used to play sims chaotically, i preferred to "accidentally" murder sims by fire instead of deleting the pool ladder. i would furnish their houses with the cheapest stoves and fireplaces, and sit back and watching the inevitable unfold... it was the final destination fan in me.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

i can't live without alpha hair and i love a well done piece of alpha clothing.

Favourite Mod?

CmarNYC morphing penis 😐

for a sfw mod, pose player was truly a game changer, can't play without it.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

i never bought any of them 💅 the first one i p*rated was late night because umm a fancy city, bars and clubs, celebs and vampires, 2000s hoe clothes... what more could you want!

Do you pronounce live mode or aLIVE or LiVing?

a-live!

Have you made a simself?

no ❤

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

if we're talking about TS4, i think the ginger hair colour is okay and the grey too. for TS3, i don't use any of the default hair colour presets.

Favorite EA hair?

i've tried so hard and i just cannot enjoy any of them compared to the alpha cc hair available. in my opinion this is the least offensive one, the "teddy" from the store:

Favorite life stage?

young adult

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

i'm in it for cas and the storytelling medium

Are you a CC creator?

hehe...

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

i consider all the people i frequently engage with to be my simblr friends!! 💗

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

i've considered recording, editing and uploading speed CAS videos but it seems like a lot of effort 😭

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

i've always preferred creating masculine male sims/characters, that hasn't changed throughout the years. i've learned how to take better pictures, how to style my sims better, how to create the kinds of clothes i want to style them in, and i've learned my preferred slider settings and facial features/proportions. i make the same "genre" of male sims over and over and over again, so my style hasn't really changed, but my skills have improved and i've solidified my aesthetic which i am proud of :D

Who's your favourite CC creator?

i really can't pick a favourite because there is just so much sheer talent and a thriving cc community even today, but if i had to pick one, i would say rustynail. i used the shit out of their cc back in the day. everything my sims wore was straight off the runway darling... rusty brought glamour and high fashion to the sims! an inspiration.

How long have you had a simblr?

since even before 2013 😭 tumblr was my main social media for many years LMFAOOOOO and i made a simblr after following many ts3 blogs, being wowed by their screenshots, and i wanted to join in on the fun and wanted to download all the cool cc people were making... that was the start of my ts3 obsession !

How do you edit your pictures?

i use a gshade preset i made, then i mostly just crop and add text in gimp. i don't have the patience to edit my pics.

What expansion/ stuff pack is your favourite?

late night duh and seasons is a close second because it just makes the game so much more immersive and beautiful. pets is also a top one because it adds so much to the game, it's such a well thought out pack in my opinion, and what life simulator can be complete without pets?

[districtxii]

Meta: Help Rationalizing THG Worldbuilding

I originally posted this on reddit, even though I'm not really a redditor, because I've had trouble getting much traction on tumblr lately. I just made this sideblog, though, so I decided to share it just in case anyone wanted to discuss this with me.

According to the first book, all we really get about the history of the world of Panem is:

everyone kind of knows their education of history is propaganda, even if they don't have the word for it

Panem is in what used to be called North America, but an unspecified series of natural disasters and wars led to the rise of Panem's current regime

it's the 74th Annual Hunger Games, meaning that it's been somewhere about 75-80 years since the ultimate conclusion of the Rebellion of the Districts against the Capitol, implying that there was some period of time before the rebellion of the Districts and the "Dark Days" during which Panem was the seat of power that was risen up against

Before the existence of the prequel novel, I think that some of us sort of thought that this pre-Panem era might have been the dying days of the United States. However, it seems that it's pretty impossible for that to be true, given how different socially and culturally the Panem of young Coriolanus Snow.

I think it is implied that the excessive reliance upon Greco-Roman pseudo-language, nomenclature, and symbols, was part of a concerted effort on the part of those pulling the strings - people like Dr. Gaul and her ilk - to evoke certain theoretical states of being, directly and intentionally evoking panem et circenses as a mission statement and a weird if-you-know-you-know kind of dig at masses who were kept ignorant, both in and outside the Capitol. (Of course, this is really convenient when you're a YA author trying to drive home and teach a point at the same time.)

However, this had already started before the Rebellion, making it clear that the Capitol was rebuilt much in its own image, even if certain things intensified. And the Capitol of the TBOSAS movie is one that evokes both familiar imagery from the original film triology and a much harsher imagery that draws on very harsh federal and classical architecture, mixed with a kind of Soviet propaganda flavored art style and brutalism. (I'm using these words with a vague understanding of what they mean but an acknowledgment that there may be better descriptions of what I'm talking about.)

This, in turn, perplexes me, because I had sort of understood the Capitol's decadence to have been very... LA-flavored from the start. I had presumed that the Capitol had a hard time that might have more resembled starving in a resort, the way Katniss describes the situation when they're infiltrating the Capitol in Mockingjay. I had also come to the Aha moment, a couple years ago when teaching The Hunger Games (the first book) to seventh graders, that the "Capitol Accent" was a future-evolved version of verbal fry a la the Kardashians or something. I thought that the Capitol population might have been a "Hollywood Elite" run inland to the Rockies due to, I dunno, part of California falling into the sea. I thought that this might have also gone along with the idea that power is in spectacle, and there are conservative people all over who yell and scream about the Hollywood effectively being some kind of lefty shadow government, or whatever.

TBOSAS threw this perception for a loop, when one sees that the color and glitz and glamor of the Capitol, having healed and vampire-sucked the Districts for seven decades, seems to have had a weird original story with Lucy Gray and Dr. Gaul's warring colors, spectacle, and appeal.

While the Tenth Hunger Games are wiped from record as best as they can, the collective memory of Lucy Gray and how much the people started to become invested in her, along with the spectacle of the snakes, pushed and impression of a wild, freer aesthetic -- at least in terms of a first domino falling. At least, that's my current perception.

But, as described, it really challenges my prior conception of what the Capitol is, culturally speaking, and where it and the rest of Panem came from.

The Covey, also, may be an even bigger thorn in my side in this regard. I absolutely love the representation of something of my Appalachian heritage in the music that is depicted in TBOSAS. I also love the way it filters down into Katniss's story. However, the existence of the Covey also seems like something very anachronistic even for this imaginary-future timeline.

During what kind of era and circumstances where the Covey's parent generation - Lucy Gray's mother and others - existing?

Was in the the Capitol era before the Dark Days war? It must have been, right? But what came immediately before that?

The Covey seem to draw some vague flavor from pop culture perceptions of the Roma (which is kind of weird for the Appalachians but who knows and Roma can be anywhere they want), but it seems even more rooted in some kind of spiritual connection to - for example - the Carter Family becoming involved in syndication and touring with music that was previously unknown to the rest of America and the world. With Bristol, Tennessee/Virginia, being the "Birthplace of Country Music."

But that happened during the early 20th century.

One presumes that the timeline of Panem and The Hunger Games diverges from our own sometime in our own future, but has this perception on my part been wrong all along?

Is The Hunger Games universe better-perceived as something like the Fallout universe where it's sort of a nuclear-power-arms-race-punk divergent timeline well BEFORE the apocalypse that resulted in the present dystopia?

I would love to hear anyone's opinion on this, whether it's a reassurance that "just don't worry about it" is the best approach or someone who's better at worldbuilding-brain than I offering some kind of explanation - whether based on canon or fanon.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts!