#people keep pointing out to her: aren't you tired? don't you have dreams of your own? isn't your want important too?

[rexonalapis]

it is very telling that average genshin players cannot comprehend seeing an actual mature, qualified leader that is actually good at taking her job seriously after meeting archons who either is still childish, clowning whimsically, or straight up incompetent.

[piscespetals]

summary: in which sevika comforts you after having a nightmare

content: fluff, arcane au, soft!sevika

You can't see.

The sound of your own gasping breath causes a nauseating sensation to settle within you. Everything around you is stark black, with no sign of anything familiar to pull you back to reality.

"It's okay," Her voice just barely keeps the dam from breaking. "It's okay now. I'm here."

Another sobs rips through you.

"I know," Her coaxing is tender. "It's okay. I promise." And even though she hadn't just relived your dream, you believe her. You know that she knows. She gets it. She gets you. Somehow, without you having to explain anything, she remains right here; understanding exactly what you need. "You're safe now."

Light illuminates the room suddenly. Despite the gentle click of her bedside lamp, the change is still jarring. Your eyes begin to burn as they struggle to adjust to your restored vision.

She stares back at you with piercing grey pools of care.

In that moment, the world rights itself again.

She doesn't say anything more. Your breathing calms to a steady pace, hair rising at the base of your neck as you realize that this is all you had needed. You can't help but marvel at how easy this is. How easy she makes it. All of those months of crying yourself awake, struggling through nightmares and flashbacks, only to realize that the simple gaze of someone you care for has washed it all away.

"I'm right here." She reminds you. And then you're pressed against the side of her, your head buried in her neck as her left arm circles around your waist. Naturally, you allow your legs to rest over hers. The cool surface of her headboard against your back is the only thing that keeps you from fully melting into her embrace.

Your hands grip onto her arm, the same arm wrapped around you, and you can't help but give her a light squeeze. It's an unspoken thank you. A gesture that you know she understands. She always understands.

Beads of sweat drip down the sides of your face and onto her shoulder. You don't bother to wipe them away.  And you don't think she necessarily cares.

Once you finally muster up enough courage to speak, you mumble, "It was a bad dream."

Her hold around you tightens. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You pause to ponder on her offer. Then you snort out a weird combination of a chuckle and sigh. "Not tonight. But I am more concerned that it's," You glance at the digital clock on her nightstand. "2 am in the morning and you somehow aren't tired of me."

"Why would I be?"

You lift your head, a wave of disbelief washing over you. "I've managed to disturb your sleep at 2am in the morning, Sev. Who wouldn't be even slightly annoyed by that?"

Even though you're grateful to be in this predicament, you hadn't necessarily thought you would ever get to this point with Sevika. Your friend group often teased her about being emotionally constipated. When you first met her, a month had passed before she even initiated a conversation. She wasn't the most outgoing. And she wasn't usually the type to hold people during strange hours of the night and listen to them complain about their issues.

But here she is. Holding you—asking you to complain. You struggle to fully understand why.

"The time of night is the least of my concerns right now." Sevika replies, pulling you out of your reverie. You're close enough for her breath to tickle your lips. Her pupils are dilated, gaze flickering to a space between your eyebrows. Then they trickle down to the slope of your nose before she peers at your lips. "Are you sure you don't need to talk about anything?"

You swallow thickly, reveling in the feeling of her skin against yours. Her hand slides to the base of your neck, fingers rubbing into the back of your scalp; holding you there. Tethering you to her.

A lump lodges itself in your throat. The sweetness of it all becomes painfully overwhelming. You aren't used to her being like this. And you definitely hadn't expected it. Every passing day that the two of you grow closer, the more that Sevika surprises you. The layers that come with her are multifaceted and sometimes entirely the opposite of what you initially thought.

Like now.

You blink slowly. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

A lapse of silence follows. Her eyebrows raise, head tilting in slight annoyance. You can already tell that she thinks your question is ridiculous. "You know why."

You suddenly feel naked despite being fully clothed.

Her gaze is unwavering, dark full lips parted and absolutely stunning. Your heart hammers in your ribcage. You're almost convinced it'll leap out of your chest as her words echo through your ears: You know why.

There's something between the both of you that's been boiling for a while now. You've been aware of it. It doesn't take rocket science for you to realize that friendships don't usually consist of shared kisses and slow morning rises with countless cuddles and breakfast food. At least, that's not how it's been for you with your past friendships.

But despite the line that's obviously been crossed, the both of you have yet to define exactly what you mean to each other.

It's something that you haven't been willing to say—for the fear of being rejected. For the fear of scaring Sevika away (it's taken a long time for her to become completely comfortable with you), and also for the fear of things changing.

You don't like change.

Not when everything is already perfect as it is.

But the signs are starting to become increasingly harder to ignore when she says things like 'You know why.'

"Did I scare you off..." She asks, grip tightening around your scalp in an attempt to regain your attention. It's a habit of hers you've grown to love. Your body grows rigid, a powerful magnetic force hitting you right in the gut. Within seconds, she loosens her grip, scratching gently into your scalp, completely oblivious to the sparks that she's triggered.

"No," You reply, mind fuzzy. "The opposite, really."

Her expression remains placid, as usual. But there's a tender shift in her eyes. It's subtle but it's there.

She tugs you closer to her and that's when you realize that you're in an awkward position of halfway sitting in her lap. You find yourself shifting your weight, trying to get comfortable despite the crick in your lower back.

"Here," She mumbles, pulling you towards her more. You allow her to guide you before repositioning yourself. You face her as you sit in her lap fully, legs straddling her. Both of her arms take this moment as an opportunity to wrap around your hips. Your heartbeat jumps up to your throat.

These feelings, these thoughts, are something that you don't ever think you'll get used to. Your mind can't help but focus on her half-lidded sleepy eyes, and how perfect they are when gazing at you in this way. She's wearing a tank top, which displays her broad shoulders and bulging bicep muscles.

And her hands....

God. Those hands.

She squeezes your hips and you bite your tongue to keep from reacting too strongly.

"Where do you keep going?" She inquires, searching your face with mild concern. She taps gently on one of your temples. "You don't always have to think so hard, you know."

Your throat is dry.

Like, desert dry.

You try to swallow but you can't.

Because she's so fucking handsome and caring in this moment.

You swallow thickly, an undeniable hunger rumbling through you. Out of complete desire, you reach up, fingertips brushing against the warmth of her brown skin.

You nod. "I know."

Then you bring your other hand up to cup her right cheek, caressing her for a few gentle moments, before traveling down to her neck. Your fingers graze against a few of her scars, rubbing gently into the skin, testing out the waters; hoping that this sort of intimacy is okay. She sighs at the feeling. Her eyes soften.

"You were screaming," She continues. "And no matter how hard I was trying to wake you, you wouldn't budge. I was worried."

Your eyes widen, realization settling within you from her admission.

She's still worried.

The kind of worry that she's never shown towards you before.

The kind of deep-seeded worry that people only have for those they really care about.

"I'm okay." You reassure her. Your hands shake as you squeeze her shoulders. "It was just a dream. Nothing worth mentioning for the time being, but I'm okay." Your chest hurts. Your throat hurts...your eyes. All of it. Feelings crash into one another, creating an impactful explosion within your heart. "You're here with me. So I'm more than okay."

Her eyes resemble something raw—almost close to...

"Okay." Her expression becomes heady. She allows her gaze to focus on your lips, incredibly transparent in her wanting—not holding back in the slightest with her intentions.

You analyze her in return, both confused and curious by her behavior. She lingers for so long, close enough for you to taste her breath, yet so far away. Your heart jumps into your throat as she peers back with an indescribable glint.

You feel a strong surge overtake you with a stuttering breath before you're leaning forward.

Lips and breath draw together, forming into the shape of one, and shooting a trail of shivers straight down your spine. Your mind buzzes, her affection unraveling you; breaking you. She's all soft skin and devastating fervor, with sounds of stars exploding between you two. The feeling of her holding you with immense regard—and the sensation of her chest pressing against yours, hands chaining you to her lap, digging into the flesh of your thighs with a delicious strength—has you falling apart pathetically.

You can certainly determine that there's been poems written about Sevika. The push-and-pull feeling of such perfection like her, with all of her charm and strength, is the sort of beauty that not every human is lucky enough to come across.

She bites and sucks and licks and it's otherworldly. Kisses melt into one another as a rhythm of panting and gasping materializes. She pulls away, lips planting into warm patterns against your neck. Your head tilts, need washing through every inch of your body.

Your grip on her shoulders tighten almost dangerously—to pull her close? Or steady yourself?—You can't be sure anymore. But she doesn't seem to mind, moaning into your mouth at the action.

Sevika is the first one that breaks away, lips puffy and pulled into a gorgeous grin.

Your lungs nearly collapse at the sight. This kind of smile that she wears is rare, laugh lines prevalent around her mouth with her gapped teeth on full display.

"As long as you continue to do that," You utter, still struggling to catch your breath.  "I'm pretty sure I'll always be okay." Then you shake your head, attempting to center yourself from the high.

She chuckles knowingly, smile widening so much that her face almost breaks. "I'll make sure to hold you to that."

[never-goingtopostanything]

Why the teaser doesn't ruin Night Swan's motives.

So since the teaser hinting that Jack is The Traveler's son, people are obviously falling apart, personally I don't care much about how it affects shipping because just view the just dancers a found family, but that's not what I care about right now, I keep seeing posts about how the teaser ruins Night Swan's motive which is just wrong when you consider it critically.

The claim is that the teaser makes Night Swan's motive The Traveler leaving her that's wrong and you can tell since Night Swan and Jake, assuming that this teaser is meant to imply that The Traveler's son, don't seem sad, Jack seems quite happy for someone who is potentially watching his dad abandon him and his mum and Night Swan doesn't seem to care much either, if this teaser is telling us what Night Swan's *NEW* motive is meant to be then it is doing a crappy job at it.

The *NEW* bit in my last point is important because Night Swan has a motive, she is a failed ballerina who was brought into the danceverse and was tempted by the dark flow and fell into madness wanting perfection. This teaser should be looked at less as giving Night Swan a motive and more as filling in the gap between "Murder on the dance floor" and "Darkest hour" and since this is happening before The Traveler left so it can't have anything to do with him. This teaser is clearly meant to connect to "In your eyes" so I personally think it's fine to use it to work out what happened to make Night Swan evil.

Finding out what happened to cause Night Swan descent into madness is possible when looking at "In your eyes" there is one thing that caused the change from happy and in love to crazy and heartless, I don't think this is the first time she went to Eternyx, but it could be the first time she is there by herself and when she is there she meets Cygnus, and I think that this is the pin for Night Swan, he could have potentially made Night Swan realise that her dreams have failed and taught her about dark flow and how to manipulate it, leading to her becoming evil, this could also explain why Cygnus is involved with Night Swan when she goes crazy, he could feel responsible for it since she wouldn't have messed with dark flow if he hadn't taught her about it, he feels responsible and doesn't want to leave her because of his guilt.

This could also explain why Night Swan and The traveler do break up, Night Swan goes to Eternyx while he is doing something on earth, meets Cygnus and comes back different, obsessing over the dark flow and slowly loosing her mind and a desire to be perfect when dancing, loosing her love for it and her rejecting his attempts to help her until he eventually leaves because it's he can't love her anymore and she refuses to let him hep her.

i'm tired of the idea that Night Swan's motive is The Traveler breaking up with her, when it's not, she has had a motive for ages, perfection, this teaser and "In your eyes" where filling in the gap that lead to "Darkest hour" how can dare people complain about Ubisoft ruining Night Swan by giving her a dumb motive when that's not what was happening, if anything the people claiming that are the ones dumbing Night Swan down Outside of all of that why would The Traveler leave Night Swan at that point they are happily in love and potentially have a child, to date Si'ha Nova, yeah I don't think so and even if that is to be believed Si'ha Nova wouldn't have married or even dated The Traveler because she has self respect and wouldn't trust him since if he left someone for her what is stopping him form doing the same to her.

Thank you for reading this rant, while the posts I've seen saying this aren't just limited to tumblr I have still seen it on here and I only post things on here.

[takerfoxx]

On the night of the election, I had an honest-to-God dream where I woke up and found out that Harris had shockingly come in from behind and won the election. I remember how relieved I was that the nightmare had been averted. That we did choose to not elect a senile fascist back into office. That most of my country weren't willing choosing evil over progress.

Then I woke up, literally and figuratively.

Obviously, this has been a heavy blow. Honestly, as someone who was raised as a conservative Christian, who was a huge fan of Linkin Park, Kanye West, JK Rowling, Joss Whedon, Neil Gaiman, and the Undertaker for years, and who felt like I could trust my friends and family to have my back, it's been like these last few years have been a relentless train of disappointment and disillusionment in everything and everyone I once believed in and looked up to, and who I would go to for escape when things were bad. I know you should never meet your heroes, but damn, could they just have been like salty jerks who were caught being mean to the waiter instead of fascists, abusers, bigots, and so on? Could the entire world view that I had been raised in and fervently believed for over half my life not have turned out to be so awful? And yeah, I'm including the friends and family part in that as well.

Obviously, since the election, there's been a lot of finger pointing. Did Harris run a bad campaign? Did she abandon the working class? Was it the Gaza issue? Was it the fault of moral abstainers or third-party voters?

And honestly, I get it. Given the sheer horror of what we're facing, I get being frustrated with people who don't help and/or vote against their own interests only to go all Shocked Pikachu face when the worst possible scenario occurs. But I've been doing some thinking, and I personally believe that even if all those groups came out in support of Harris, whether it be because they do support her or even just as a way to block Trump, she still would have lost. This is the first time in a long time that a Democratic nominee lost the popular vote, after all. I think Biden would have lost too, and he only won in 2020 because of the very unique circumstances caused by the pandemic.

I think we need to face the facts. America's been sliding into fascism for decades.

Reagan. The extremism that erupted after 9/11. Birtherism. Gamergate. The Manosphere. The far right has been busy, whether it be stacking the deck politically or pinpointing the fears and insecurities of every generation and tuning their messaging to draw people in. They tell them what they want to hear, that it's not their fault that they aren't getting what the American dream promised them, and it's all the fault of (insert minority group here). It's been targeted. It's been methodical. And it's been working.

Trump won. He's going to get away with everything. The far right won. This sucks. I wish I had some inspiring words about never giving up the fight, but I'm not that guy. And honestly, I'm starting to feel that spiteful part of me come out, the one that sort of hopes that everything does get much worse so that every braindead moron who voted against their best interests gets exactly what they got coming to them.

But I also know how dangerous that line of thinking of. So please, Do NOT listen to me. There are plenty of people still rallying the troops, still encouraging people to fight, people who are in far more danger than I am. I'll be fine. I'm just a tired and disappointed middle-aged white guy living in a boring California suburb. I'm safe. But there's a lot of people that aren't. And those are the voice that you need to be listening to.

As for me, I'm not giving up, I'm going to keep voting, going to keep supporting the causes I believe in, and going to keep helping how I can. But I'm also going to go away for a while. Not long, probably just a few weeks or so. But I'm going to disengage from social media for a bit to keep from doomscrolling and just focus on writing, because that's all I really know how to do. And when I do come back, I'll have a lot more stuff for you guys.

In the meantime, please be good to yourselves. Be good to those who are scared and hurting. The world needs you in it, now more than ever.

[beth-purcell]

Beth Rambles about Bendy

because holy crap I may have been hit with a horrifying aha moment. And full disclosure, I am aware that it sounds very Tin Hat and making a lot of assumptions, but at this moment I need to get it spewed out of my head. So be aware that I'm going to be emulating the Pepe Silvia meme

And just as a heads up, I'm mentioning the designs that were leaked in the Dreams Come to Life graphic novel so click Keep Reading at your own risk! And please don't be rude or try and go after anybody, this is my own opinions and frazzled freight train thoughts.

So I just got hit with a realization regarding the graphic novel and the whole decanonization with the books.

Mike and Meatly did it so they could avoid the backlash of the designs in the graphic novel and whatever they've got planned with the games moving forward, especially as it pertains to the character's designs. Or alternatively, they did it (the blunt "the books aren't canon anymore") to distract and/or pull one over on the fans so that way they can put their designs into the games and not deal with as much as scrutiny.

Cause we've seen with BATDR that they've improved the designs of the human characters compared to Joey in BATIM, and given we have both The Cage, a game that's focusing on the horrors of GENT (which involve human experimentation as far as BATDR hinted at) and B3NDY probably focusing on the aftermath of BATDR from Audrey's perspective, which you would think would involve her trying to deal with her new living toon roommate while factoring the consequences of being pulled into the Inky Hellscape on a Monday/Tuesday depending on the time Wilson dragged her in and how long she was actually trapped there (which ya know, wasn't answered in game). Either way, there's a lot of potential of more human characters to interact with, and if they really wanted to push the idea of a more "mature" and "experimental" [And boy do I have thoughts about that], what better way than having in-universe film of experiments or photos of the victims, or even flashback sequences we could play through?

It's not a secret that Mike and Meatly are very controlling in regard to their IPs (Adrienne confirming that they had a hand in every book; what happened to Showdown Bandit; Mike's own comments in the Bendy AMA; etc) and they have a tendency to ignore the room and stick their foot in their mouths (The fact it was only Mike that made acknowledgement of the Kindly Beast Firings and the accused workplace abuse; Mike deciding to "be clearer" on Meatly's comment regarding the books being fun extras; the situation less than two weeks ago that led to Mike to delete his Twitter again; etc). And let's be real, the quality control on the graphic novel is abyssmal, even for a extremely rushed project. Like I'd argue this is past "get it done good enough" or "we're making games for stupid kids" and I'm in absolute shock that this is what happened.

Obviously the idea of them on purposely setting things in place to either distract the fan base or try and claim control over the "canon" would imply that they are competent enough to think ahead and be able to convince Scholastic to risk customer goodwill, but I find it so strange that they started this takedown of the books's role in the canon less than two months away from Fade to Black's release and then the continuing snowballing. It's probably more likely that Mike got tired of people praising the books for their work and wanted control, and basically convinced Meatly that they had to change the books' canon status because it wouldn't fit with their plans, and they didn't think of the consequences, especially after people found leaks and preview images and the fact that people still know what Mike had said in regard to diversity back during the Bendy AMA:

And while I've been putting blame on Mike, as he's been the one to be more vocal and obvious, Meatly is just as bad for letting this to get to this point, for letting Mike stick his foot in his mouth and constantly put the Bendy brand in a negative light and undermine him with every opportunity. Like I don't know what the business relationship is like, but at some point you gotta put your foot down.

As much as it's unlikely, I do like the theory @mickeys-malarkey posted where there could be more to the whole graphic novel of Buddy's take on events that just being an adaptation. I mean the idea of the graphic novels being an extension of Joey's attempts to cover his ass would be an amazing spin on the Mascot Horror media outside of the video games.

Hopefully those two manage to keep quiet for a while and not pull a "OwO here be the Cage's trailer~! And Lone Wolf Release!" and try to drown out the graphic novel's release but I'm not holding my breath xp

[faeflowerz]

May I request platonic Diasomnia with a first year reader who’s Lilia’s daughter (making her Silver’s younger sister) and she’s half fae but due to where she grew up she became insecure about her pointed ears so she hides them. But she was taken as a baby but she reunited with her family at the dorm selection thing (I forgot what it’s called) because she got teleported to this world for unknown reason (so she’s like MC)

I hope I understood your prompt right! MC who was spirited away as a child and returns after all these years?

Warnings: Just casually crushing everyone's heart in my bare hands.

Characters: Lilia and Silver

Lilia remembers picking up two babies in his lifetime: the first was Silver and half a year later was you. By this time, he'd gotten SOME kind of understanding of how to keep a kid from eating too much dirt or climbing on the roof. Hey, you and your brother got into serious hijinks. But still, you were happy as can be...despite the reason you were adopted in the first place.

A child born of human and fae, your birth mother disowned you. She, unlike the Zigvolts was unable to keep you lest she face ridicule and destitution. Abandoned at a place of worship, you cried and cried for what seemed like ages until Lilia rescued you. You smelled human, but the ears said otherwise. You were a funny looking thing, but what baby isn't? And so you had a charmed life.

You trained beside the boys though Sebek often wanted to leave you out of it. Still, you were given a wooden sword to play with and pretend you were rescuing a prince(ess) in distress. Frolicking in the woods, talking to animals and watching Silver use magic were all activities you adored. You knew nothing of your sad origin and looked forward to your happy future.

Until one day, you were playing hide and seek with your brother. You were like, what, four? Five? Too young to gain your consciousness for sure. Silver was good at hiding but you were determined to find him. That is, until you happened upon an old woman crying. You, being the sweet little thing you were, approached her.

"What’s wrong?"

"I've lost something most precious to me...!" The crone sobbed. Fat tears rolled down her wrinkly cheeks as you tried to console her.

"Maybe I can help!" You beam. Almost instantly, her tears subsided.

"Really? You would help someone as wayward and pathetic as me?" You nodded excitedly. "Well, aren't you precious! Follow me, child." And with a flick of her cloak, you and the woman disappeared in thin air.

No one knows what happened to you that night. Lilia couldn't console Silver who mourned your supposed passing. Inside, your father feared the worst for you too.

Years passed. Seasons shifted, and your family was forced to change and grow without you. That is until you returned. The woman who took you wasn't any ordinary crone. She'd come to collect a debt wracked up by your birth father. Yes, through your years, you doubled as a daughter and a servant in the other realm. It wouldn't have been so bad if you weren't forced to stay in a shitty apartment building, subjected to the teasing and derision of the humans around you. They thought you were a cursed little thing. Your "mother" never bothered to refute their remarks.

"Oh, darling. Those people out there don't understand you like I do. You may look funny, but I took you in when no one else would. When I saw you by the riverbank, I knew that I would be the one to rescue you."

But what is love if its eternal servitude? Paying back a mother who only used you for convenience? You often had dreams of another world, a place where you weren't the odd one out. But magic wasn't real. This? This was real.

Then...it happens. You wake up in a coffin and for a brief moment, you wondered if your mother finally just got tired of you. But of course we know better.

So the Grim stuff happens and all the while, Lilia and Silver are in disbelief. That couldn't be...there was no way...the world could only be so cruel. When they called your name, you turned around, confused. Lilia is the first to nearly knock you off your feet. He's hugging you with all his strength, not caring who sees. Silver tries to contain himself but he's just as overwhelmed. But he sees your confusion and pulls his father away.

"Uh, I'm sorry, you have the wrong person." The sound of Lilia’s heart breaking was loud enough to shake the entire mirror hall. Onlookers whispered and pointed, but he had to fix his face and put on a smile.

"So sorry, darling! I didn't mean to startle you," he laughed it off and you gave him a funny look before following Crowley to Ramshackle. This wouldn't be the end. Lilia had every intention of making you remember. Silver placed a warm hand on his shoulder. "That's her. I know it."

"I...believe you," he replied carefully. "But we can't scare her off, either. She probably doesn't recognize us anymore."

And you didn't. But not for long.

[graceafell]

Hey, to all the people reading this post. You see, I've always been a loving fan of Disney, my childhood is based on those movies, my values came from these films. Lately, (and by "lately" I mean ~2017+) I've had this feeling, like I don't like the Disney new movies. I thought to myself many times "maybe my time has come? Maybe I've just grown? But no, I've seen other people comments and I know I'mnot the only one who feels that way (also, good movies are ageless, they are somethings meant to bring joy to everyone). I couldn't quite put my finger on my reasons until now, and now I'll try to share them with you. I'll do my best since I'm really not the best with words (I mean, please, I'm trying to make a point, don't leave me, I'm doing my best, just read it until the end), and I will present you a few reasons why I think what I think (and yes, I downloaded Tumler so I could say this).

1. First of all- the world around, the brutalityand roughness of the scenes. You see, Disney became so careful, the world became so careful - we're so afraid to offend or hurt someone that we lost what makes us people.

Old Disney knew how to captivate us using the world, they knew how to create a terrifing environment, one that will hold- both us and the "hero" - on a tight leash, I mean, look at this:

And this:

And that:

And you can find so many more of them if you actually look for them - could you compare them to nowadays Disney? The ones trying so hard to caress and shield us from these horrific sights?

It's so brutal, yet it does so much justice to the movies, gives so much depth - your heroes deserve this kind of treatment, they deserve your soul and pain.

2. The main character's breaking point.

A good character is made to be broken, to be humbled, to understand they aren't what they wanted and hoped to be - only from there could they learn to be something more, to develop further.

Old Disney knew how to break their characters- they knew where and how to do that, they knew what meant the most to their heroes and how to take that away.

For example- Mulan, after her identity as a woman is revealed. Mulan is finally looking at herself in the mirror, and she knows she did what she did to prove herself she is valuable, that she is something more, and yet she is nothing now:

Or here, when Judy understands she did the total opposite of what she dreamed of - she "ruined" the world instead of keeping it safe, she wasn't worthy of being called a hero, and even more than that, she hurt her best friendin the process:

Even here - when Elsa almost kills the people who came to hunt her - she knows she became the monster she feared the most to be since childhood when she accidentally hurts Anna, she became her very fear itself:

I mean- just look at her face, she is terrified of herself, which leads her to surrender- to lose her spirit and will to protect and isolate herself from the world. She is scared.

That's the moment - that is when we can finally see our hero for what he is- a human being, that's what makes them so relatable. This moment is one of the most beautiful ones in every movie (and call me a sadist coz I just LOVE to see my hero fall apart)

3. (And last cuz I'm to tired and lazy to write anything more) the villains.

A good hero deserves a good villain. A villain is their nemesis, what haunts them and forces them to develop. A ridiculous villain only mocks the hero, the love you have for your hero.

Old Disney made villains- and even more than that - they created nightmares, things that made us cheer for the hero and hope for his victory.

You all know what I'm talking about. You all know those people, those who made you tremble in fear, holding you awake at night.

A villain is made to make the hero shine, all while making him face difficulties that makes him human.

Those guys are ruthless, they were born and made to kill, manipulate, destroy and humble the hero and force him out of his comfort zone. A good and cruel villain is as important as a good hero- you owe them at least this much. They were not made for us to take pity or relate to them, (though most of them has quite an indeed relatable past) they were made to antegonize.

I just feel like recent movies (excluding movies made for fluff and family things [Elemntal was actually so cute]) just can't do this, and I wish Disney would just go back to what they used to be, what made them "Disney", what made you and me love them.

That's it, my dear b*tches, hope you read it all and that I didn't just waste my and your time

Kisses babay

(P.S., I apologize if there is some Grammer mistake or any kind of this sh*t coz English is definitely NOT my native language)

[atlasecrets]

how is it fair that you continuously betray the trust of the girl who loves you the most, you see all the effort she puts in order to make your relationship work, you see her try to be her best self for you, always cheering you on, always there to listen when you're down, and it's still you who gets to move on and be happy after it's over. i'm tired of saying it's my fault for losing myself because at the end of the day you were supposed to find me. you were supposed to at least try and look for me. at some point i wasn't even there anymore, i was a ghost of myself and you still didn't notice me, you never even cared. you want love without any of the work just so in the end you can blame me for being insane. i was insane, yes, for believing you could be more than you were, for thinking you could ever be right for me. i was foolish for imagining a world in which i would be your priority (out of love, not out of obligation). i was naive for thinking i could spend the rest of my life with someone who treated my feelings like a chore, who i had to beg to spend time with me. you clearly have no issue hanging out with another girl every single night if it's someone you actually like. maybe i'm bitter, but it looks like you don't care who's next to you as long as you aren't alone. i felt like less of a person near you, never fully myself, never had the chance to show who i am because you never cared to ask. how foolish to give all this love to a man who will never emotionally and mentally mature past the age of 16. and that should have been my cue to leave from the start. turns out girls your age do know better. you were in love with your comfort, with your bed, with your computer. trying to be loved by you felt like i was ultimately becoming one of your objects too. no regard for my feelings, no need to keep me updated, i'm just a pretty porcelain doll on your desk, ready to talk when you've grown tired of your friends. it's not fair you get to move on and be happy and fulfill OUR dreams with someone new while i'm still here unpacking all the hurt you left me with, trying to convince myself i'm still worth it, that i deserve better. i shouldn't have to doubt it in the first place. and it's ironic how even now i'm the one left to carry the emotional load of our breakup. you say "it's been two months" like i haven't been stuck in a time loop, replaying everything we had over and over again, trying to find out where it went wrong and how to heal. time passed, but i'm still here, why am i still here? you were my first anything, i knew every inch of your body by heart, i was obsessed with your mind, i went to sleep dreaming of a little house in belgium, our blue-eyed marion, eating crepes at your mom's house, flying every few months to see each other, travelling together, cuddling with your cats on the couch, helping you shave your beard in the morning and so, so much more. i wanted everything with you. and i feel like a ghost again, stuck in a made-up world that never came to be while you're forgetting me more and more as each day goes by and you make memories with someone new. and i meant it when i said she has a beautiful name. an unforgettable one. she sounds like milk and honey, like the way the sunlight was streaming through my window when i woke up this morning and was blinded by its intensity. she sounds like soft footsteps on the bedroom floor, barefoot, cold, making you flinch when she presses up against you in the early morning, your legs intertwining. a gloomy day in france, brightened by her presence and her infectious laughter. she sounds a lot like home. take it from me, though, it's dangerous to make a home out of people who never planned to stay in the first place. i know you don't read these anymore, which is probably why i'm able to write in the first place. "if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more." i think i'm starting to love you less. i think this anger is good for me. i'm getting you out of my system and saying it in hopes that it angers you too, but knowing that it won't.

[crowncursed]

mirrormask

You wake up tired. That tiredness never really goes away as the world moves around you. Lords, you don't want to be here. But you get up because you've got shit to do. No one want someone worthless. You need to provide a service.

It has been a thousand years, but you still remember everything. Every bad thing. And you're reminded of the bad stuff whereever you go. It haunts you. People tell you to move on but for whatever reason, you just can't. And sometimes when it gets too much, you just can't seem to breathe. It's suffocationg.

Your skin is uncomfortable. It's too loud. But you're always so quiet. Because that's what you always needed to be. Be quiet. You're annoying when you talk. Be a dear and run along.

You talk to someone, it emotionally draining. How you yearn to be somewhere else. But you're stuck. And the only place you can find a little bit of peace is when you're alone. You don't like it but it's what's you're used to.

But not too alone. Because the voices can creep in. They tell you how worthless you are. How pathetic you are. How no one loves you. How no one really want you. They only keep you around because you're useful to them. You're just a tool. You don't deserve love. You don't deserve happiness. You don't deserve good things. You are expendable. Replaceable.

Experience the world through Marsha's eyes // tentatively accepting

Exhaustion is not new to him, but this is different, somehow. This permeates his being, as he goes through the motions of sitting up in bed and getting ready for the day. Seemingly arbitrary things bring back memories he's tried to bury, and the people around him are quick to tell him to simply stop thinking about it and stop making a scene. But he can't. They're vivid and inescapable, and despite the fact they aren't his, they feel so real that they might as well be. Eventually it's too much; they take his breath away and he's in his room, back up against the door, trying to breathe without making a sound.

And then, he's standing there, closed off. Someone is talking, but they aren't listening. He doesn't bother opening his mouth, and they don't ask him to. He's quiet. It feels wrong.

Somebody else is talking to him now, and this time they do listen, but he's becoming increasingly aware of the fact he doesn't want to be there. He doesn't have the energy to respond when they ask him questions, which in turn gets irritates them, and they call him rude. Annoying. Why did they even bother? It hurts, but they're gone before he can say it out loud.

The solace of his bedroom doesn't help the way he thought it would. He wanted to be alone, to collect his thoughts, but the thoughts become too loud. He's stuck there, sitting at his desk. Writing could help, but his pen sits on an empty page. What's the point? They'd only miss him tomorrow because he isn't there to provide for them. Every day is the same.

He wakes up with a gasp, sitting upright in bed. His bed. It takes a few seconds to register that it had been a dream. The heavy feelings have carried over and it's difficult to breathe.

Hopelessness turns to sadness and to sympathy. The faces he'd barely recognized in his dream, but the location felt very familiar. Through unknown means, they must have been connected for that night alone, to walk in her shoes. He needs to see Marsha, and urgently. There are things that he needs to say.

[stargazeraldroth]

Rainy here again to agree with you on your tags!

People definitely get very… Intense? About how very specific characters are portrayed by the fandom, regardless of how canon that portrayal may or may not be. I swear, it’s the same reason I interpret Error as such an asshole sometimes, in my own AUs- I’d be much more open to him being a better person if people weren’t so. Damn. Insistent. On him being the good guy and slandering Ink in the process.

If 404 is as hyped up as Error’s alleged moral superiority is, then I can see why it’d annoy you so much… I don’t actually know much about Alphatale and the characters, but it seems like something that’d get to me, especially if it’s played in conjunction with making Ink out to be the bad guy.

🌧️ Rainy Anon 🌧️

I'm gonna keep it real with all of you, I genuinely don't remember much about Alphatale. I remember bits and pieces, but I haven't actually checked the AU's canon in a while... both for Alphatale and Alphaverse. I don't even know what the difference between them is. All I know is that I care about 404 and sometimes the Astral Mother when her involvement is convenient for me, and that I feel like I'm entering an active minefield whenever I have to go to the wiki to check something.

Honestly, I do kinda understand why people can be so insistent about sticking to the canon. I do think knowing what's canon and what isn't is important! I'm not trying to downplay the canon or the work put into the AU. While I'm not the biggest fan of Alphatale/Alphaverse, I do think there's a lot of passion and care put into the project by its creator, and I admire that. I want to be like that, able to create and work on an ambitious AU project regardless of what people might think of it! I honestly don't have much serious beef with the AU, all of my irritation and dislike for it comes from people who try to pressure me into perfectly abiding by it. It's the same situation as my relationship with the FGOD concept: I don't hate it, I actually quite like the concept, but fans end up ruining it for me.

And before anyone says anything, yes I know, I shouldn't let other people ruin things for me. But after so long of the same stuff, it gets tiring. I feel like if I were to include 404 in something and then abide by Alphatale canon, it would be more limiting to my creative freedom than its inclusion is worth. My creative freedom- in my own AU- would be far too limited if I took every canon factor into consideration. And that's not fair to me, or to anyone who is trying to make an AU.

Because, see, people generally disregard the complete canon for characters like Ink, Error, and the twins on an almost daily basis. When you make an AU for Undertale, you kinda have to accept that people might interpret your characters differently and aren't guaranteed to stick to the canon details. That goes for anything in general, not just the Undertale community. But it especially applies if your AU/characters are very popular in such a big community. You don't have to agree with it, but you do have to accept that things like this will happen. Not just as a character creator, but as a fan of such works too, because I can guarantee that everyone has strayed from canon at least once. If everyone strictly abided by canon, I bet more than half of the Undertale community's content wouldn't exist. Hell, even Underverse- one of the most popular pieces right now- wouldn't exist because parts of it conflict with the characters' canons.

For example, Nightmare canonically cannot feel anything other than negative emotions. Dream cannot hate anyone, even the douchebag that he calls his brother. I believe it's canon that Ink doesn't remember tearing his soul apart, but I'm not 100% sure, I think I'm like 50/50 on that one. And yet, we don't always take these factors into consideration when making content.

AUs exist for fun. The whole point is to have fun with a bunch of different ideas. And when it stops being fun and feels more like a chore, where there's too many set-in-stone rules to follow based on what characters you include, then there's a problem. If we don't get shit for turning Ink into evil incarnate or wobbifying Error into the UwU-pocalypse that everyone hated, then why should people get shit for straying even the tiniest bit from 404's canon? I'm genuinely asking, what makes 404 so special compared to everyone else? What makes 404 above everyone else to the point where we aren't allowed to have even the smallest bit of fun with his character? What makes 404 the one where we have no choice but to follow every single aspect of canon?

I nerf 404 when I include him in stuff. I make him weaker than he is in canon. Why? Because it's convenient for me and fits my AUs. If I kept him as overpowered, untouchable, and unbeatable as he is in canon, then there's no point in including him at all. Because then he could either just solve the problem with a snap of his fingers or, in the situation where I have him as the villain, there's nothing that can be done. I change his character to fit into the AU because that's the only way his existence will work.

And I know what you're gonna say, "But Stargazer, you don't HAVE to include him!" yeah, you're right. But I also don't have to include Ink. I don't have to include Error, the twins, Reaper, CORE, etc. But I still do. Because I like their characters and it's fun. It's the same for 404- I like him and it's fun to use him in a story. Also, some parts of his canon just don't work with the AUs, such as him being Error's mentor. He's also just not as mysterious as some people seem to think he is... if we're taking all of canon into consideration, it's very likely that Ink knows he exists lmao, and it's not just some "I saw someone who looked like Error... but white!" (this sounded funnier in my head)

Also, just wanna mention this piece: Some of the canon with 404's character directly conflicts with the canon of other characters, such as Error, who canonically DOESN'T have a mentor, which makes it counterproductive and hypocritical to the argument of sticking to canon in the first place.

Anyway, I have a lot of feelings about 404 and I have a lot of passion. Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to really communicate my thoughts in a way that's very coherent, so I'm sorry if I'm like. All over the place with this. There was more I wanted to say, I think, but I don't remember what it was. I also wanna give a quick shoutout to those people who comment stuff like "404's the strongest Sans" on stuff where he isn't involved or doesn't exist!!!

I guess the main takeaway from this would be that it is possible to be compliant with canon aspects while also having as much creative freedom as you want, and you shouldn't sacrifice your own enjoyment for your own AU just because of canon. AUs exist because people deviated from canon, so arguing that you absolutely have to abide by canon 100% is going against the very foundation of AUs. And abiding by one AU's canon 100% can interfere with the canon of another AU (for example, I believe Comyet confirmed that Canon Ink wouldn't do the X-Event, but Cross's canon requires Ink to do it, which is a direct conflict/contradiction of canon), so you may as well just have fun with doing whatever the hell you want.

Honestly, I've been pressured into just. Stopping some fanfics entirely because of people constantly leaving comments about my 404 portrayal not being 100% accurate to canon. Yet every other characters gets a free pass?? Erm... okay?? And if you leave comments like that, giving unwanted "corrections", I just have one question for you: Why? Literally why? What do you get from this? What motivates you do to this? And yes, I know I said one question, but I don't care.

Like I don't always like how FGOD stories/AUs portray Ink and/or Dream as villains, but do I leave comments preaching about canon or anything? No, I just stop reading it. I get nothing out of leaving that kind of comment except being an asshole, and I'd probably make the author feel bad. Which I don't want. Their work doesn't exist to cater to my wants and what I think is best, their work exists for THEM. Just like how my AUs and my work exist for me. Yeah, it's fun to share them with people and interacting with others because of them is a nice feeling, but at the end of the day, they only exist because I want them to.

I'm just gonna end it here. My head's starting to hurt and I'm worried that if I continue, I'm gonna get too passionate about my opinions and start sounding cocky or like a righteous ass.

[therealnotta]

bro i had the wackiest nightmare??

Okay, for context, I HATE having to see scary stuff in my dreams. Freaks me out, so I usually wake myself up. I also pretty much am always vaguely lucid dreaming, where I know it's a dream, but it isn't easy to change things.

So, in this dream, me and a group of people (I think there were five in total?) get kidnapped by a serial killer named The Blood Purge Killer. She's named that because, at the end of the day, she purges your blood from you. No idea what that means. One of the people gets killed pretty early on because, for some reason, they thought that it meant we were in the Purge and they decided to embezzle funds from their employer. I'm actually not sure if they died or not, it was just a random goof? But we left him behind.

Anyway, the way the Blood Purge Killer torments you before, you know, purging you of your blood, is she makes you watch scary videos. If you don't watch them, she shows up and purges your blood (kills you) so we had to watch these things. I hated it. I don't know why it's always so horrible in dreams, specifically, but it's the worst kind of nightmare. And I didn't wake up. I don't know why. I guess I was in a Mood. I'm watching these scary things, and there's this girl with us who's obsessed with serial killers and knows EVERYTHING about the Blood Purge Killer, which is how we know to keep watching the videos. Miserable.

At some point, it was revealed that the other two guys were dating, and one of them proposed to his boyfriend as a "we're going to be killed, but at least we'll be together" sort of way. Boyfriend started crying, me and the girl were like "awww love in a battlefield" and then the boyfriend turns out to actually be upset. Like, apparently they were NOT already planning on this and he felt like he was being manipulated into saying yes. So now the two guys aren't talking to each other, it's just me and this random girl who are honestly invested in this drama.

And then, you know, the Blood Purge Killer shows up to purge our blood, as it was the end of the night and time for us to die. Some guy was with her, the girl with me said that he was on the killer's side, very confusing. At this point, though, I'm just tired of the nightmare, so, like any sane person, I walk out of my hiding spot. Blood Purge Killer charges at me, and she's wearing this mask that has bug eyes and a bat nose and massive teeth? Cringe. So I use my telekinesis, which I obviously have as the dreamer, and just lift the guy with her twenty feet into the air and slam him down. He does not die. He starts shooting at me(????) and I just take the bullets like a champ because, again, I'm the dreamer. The bullets are of my own imagination. But he just won't die??? So it's just me awkwardly trying to make this dude dead while the Blood Purge Killer is just watching in stunned horror, as is the girl who was with me? It was so awkward I just eventually woke up. What the heck was that.

[asmilinghopelessromantic]

Beautifully put and fair to both.

I really love your last paragraph:

Friendships aren’t just about being there for your friend, about listening and giving them what you think they need but also about allowing your friend to be there for you. To allow them to truly know you: your fears, your sadness, your hopes and dreams. That’s the only way for a friendship to thrive.

This might just be a me thing (and you might have mentioned it but I have the memory of a goldfish and the cold brew is hitting me so beware of grammar, spelling, or words missing or too many words and the general rambling/disorganizeness of this reblog) but I understand why Penelope kept LW from Eloise (doesn't justify the gaslighting and keeping it away from Eloise). Penelope wanted something just for herself. Something that she didn't have to share with anyone because we know how little agency women had back then. (And as having siblings myself where I had to share so much with them that when I got something for myself, I wanted to keep it to myself for a while before it became not just mine) (p.s. I know Penelope and Eloise are not biological sisters).

CW: talk of ab*se, self-hatred

I'm also glad you mentioned Penelope's low self-esteem (really self-hatred, imho) and family dynamics. Because I was getting ready to not excuse her choices but to bring a point of compassion/understanding. This is part of the reason I identify with her so much. Growing up in a toxic family dynamic and that fed into my low self-esteem issues, I get why Pen wanted an outlet that was all her own. A place where she could be the brave and witty person she is because her family constantly showed and told her how little she mattered to the world. From experience even having a welcoming and loving family like the Bridgertons doesn't fix anything (completely) because you (in general you, not specifically you) feel like you don't deserve their affection and are always waiting for the other shoe to drop for them to realize you actually are everything your family shown and told you are. Imposter syndrome. It's hard to believe their genuineness and love because all you know is the opposite. It's also hard to accept it.

I'm reminded of a bit from one of Taylor Tomlinson's comedy specials about treating people like you are expecting them to betray you and when they do, you feel vindicated and validated in your suspicions. Penelope is a self-fulfilling prophecy. She treated Eloise (at least in regards to LW) like her sisters treated her, so Penelope feels vindicated when Eloise rightfully calls her out.

You mentioned, and rightly so, that Penelope never fully trusted Eloise definitely not with LW or her being in love with her brother. (There aren't many people Penelope trusts but out of the whole world, she definitely trusts Eloise and Colin the most.) She doesn't even trust herself. Again, it can be traced back to her ab*sive childhood.

Remember at the end of 1x8 when Penelope is running away, fighting tears after hearing Colin's plans to travel and how it was her who inspired him. Eloise catches her and asks if she's okay but she brushes off Eloise's genuine concern.

Penelope is so used to pushing feelings down and repressing her emotions but this was different. She was at a ball, her crush's sister's ball and all of her emotions and feelings came crashing and needed to get tf out of there so she could be alone to let it out and process it. In a rare moment of vulnerability, she comes over to her friend's house and allows herself to cry/breakdown in front of Eloise and lets her hold her. She's crying because Colin is leaving. She's crying because her dad died, not only that but also how she was told. She's crying because she was almost caught by people at the Queen's behest. She's crying because she's exhausted and overwhelmed and tired of being strong. (I know Nicola said it was bc of Colin leaving, I believe don't quote me, but I think it's much bigger than that.)

It’s only by her decision to be vulnerable and open that she can actually mend her relationship with Eloise. 

YES, exactly! I will add that Eloise needs to be in a place where she can receive Penelope's vulnerability. Which I believe she is almost there if not all the way.

Penelope's anger and viciousness. It's compounded. One, women of the time couldn't express hardly any "ugly" emotions because it was frowned upon to be anything but polite and submissive. So we have Penelope, for the most part, repressing her anger/frustration about her place as a woman in the world. Two, growing up Penelope took the ab*se and internalized the anger toward her family, which she didn't want and/or couldn't express (again it's in part bc of the abuse and toxic family dynamics).

We also got a glimpse at her resentment and jealousy towards Eloise (and Colin to some extent). Another thing she has been feeling whether consciously or subconsciously. Jealous of the pretty privilege. Jealous of how much their family loves and likes one another. Jealous of their financial security. Since then, she hasn't confided in Eloise about her jealousy and let Eloise in a little bit.

So in Whistledown, she gets an outlet (aka coping mechanism) to release her anger and frustration at her family and society and herself. She wants to be the person who stands up for herself and is confident and she is frustrated that she perceives she can't be that person. When she says the disparaging or slights against herself, she's actually being vulnerable and sharing her insecurities.

I'm not sure if anyone has talked about it but (in addition to her not wanting Eloise to find out her identity) I think Penelope was feeling insecure about Eloise's friendship with Theo; Penelope might have thought Eloise would abandon or leave her behind for someone better. Another common feeling/anxiety associated with people who have had similar childhood experiences as Penelope.

What I'm trying to get at is that when one grows up in a toxic and abusive home with those dynamics on display and hasn't processed them (LOL but not really @ mental health treatments of the time), they often unconsciously or consciously carry those coping and defense mechanisms with them. It affects one's relationships with others and their self. Penelope is the poster child example.

Let me state this again:

I am not absolving Penelope of consequences or condoning her actions. I am merely giving context as to why (I think) Penelope is the way she is and why she does what she does. Because formerly ab*sed kids turned adults who haven't worked through their trauma are bound to keep using the same defense and unhealthy coping mechanisms intentionally/consciously or unintentionally/subconsciously hurting themself and those around them.

And yes, not everything can be traced to her ab*sive childhood (within the house and growing up in society). But almost all? Uh-huh, sure can.

I wanted to end on a happier or more hopeful note. They will find their way back to one another. Because they are best friends, soul sisters. And their relationship will be stronger for it.

A defense of Eloise Bridgerton and her friendship with Penelope Featherington

I should probably start this post by pointing out the fact that I’m not the biggest Eloise fan out there. In fact Eloise has consistently annoyed me for two seasons straight with her I’m “not like other girls” shtick and the writers using her as a prop for modern feminist talking points. 

Mostly what I disliked about Eloise was the bluntness and lack of charm used to put across the themes of women’s role in recency society and the lack of options for girls not interested in playing the marriage mart mind games. 

Jane Austen, for example, makes many of the same points regarding women in her novels but instead of beating us over the head with it, she uses wit, eloquence and wisdom to get her points across. 

But, above all, I disliked just how self involved Eloise was, what a major chip on her shoulder she had. She’s a privileged girl from an immensely powerful and rich family that spends her days whining and being dismissive of everyone around her. 

She spends most of season 1 picking fights with Daphne for no reason and the second season making fun of Colin and running around town like a chicken without a head not so much because she wants to find out who Lady Whistledown is but because she’s bored and wants something to do (something other than talking to men potentially interested in marrying her because she’s gay she’s not like other girls). 

Even as I’m writing this, I’m questioning whether I’m even the right person to defend Eloise because, as you can clearly tell, I don’t much care for her. But I do think Polin and Penelope fans are really misjudging Eloise and wanting to make her the villain of season 3 due to her resentment towards Penelope and her anger at the Polin engagement.

So I guess I have to be the hero without a cape in this instance. 

Here it goes …

It’s very easy to look at the friendship between Eloise and Penelope in season 1 and 2 and conclude that Eloise has always been a bad friend to Penelope. After all, almost every scene they have together is about Eloise, her interests and passions, her frustrations at the ton and the marriage mart, her inability to fit in with societal expectations, her quest to find out the identity of Lady Whistledown etc, etc. There’s almost never room for Penelope to even get a word in because Eloise talks and talks and keeps on talking. 

But I’d like to put forth another interpretation and say that perhaps this dynamic in the relationship isn’t all on Eloise. That it’s Penelope herself that prefers it that way. That she’d much rather talk about Eloise and her issues than to reveal anything truly meaningful or vulnerable about herself. 

A scene that supports this theory is the scene they have in season 2, episode 1: 

This is about as open and vulnerable Penelope ever is with Eloise and in this scene we can observe several things: 

Despite her being more open than usual, Penelope is still lying to Eloise. She talks about how she enjoys being a wallflower because she can have all the fun without the pressure that comes with being in the spotlight. In reality we know Penelope would love to be in the spotlight but is frightened of being rejected. She’s not having fun hugging the wall at all and yet she’s unable to share that with her friend. 

As soon as Penelope opens up, albeit only partially, Eloise is quick to notice that, despite pretending not to enjoy the balls and the marriage mart, Penelope actually likes all of these things. This shows not only that she knows Penelope pretty well (as well as Penelope herself will allow Eloise to know her) but that, despite disagreeing on the topic, she’s supportive of Penelope and listens to her. 

It’s also worth comparing the way Eloise behaves with Penelope vs. the way she behaves with Cressida in season 3. 

Cressida and Eloise’s relationship is much more balanced and equal because Cressida stands up for herself, pushes back at Eloise when she needs to (like explaining why she needs to marry Lord Debling despite not being compatible) or when Eloise accuses her of telling everyone about Colin helping Penelope find a husband. 

And Eloise learns to adjust. She becomes a more supportive friend, sharing her knowledge of birds so that Cressida can impress Lord Debling, making conversation with him when Cressida doesn’t know what to say and coming to her house to visit her and offer support. 

My point is: Eloise is not perfect. She’s self involved and dismissive of things she isn’t personally interested in but is willing to put in the work for a friend if said friend is honest with her about what they need from their friendship. 

Which leads us back to Penelope. Eloise is the most meaningful relationship in her life (Colin is as well but that’s a much more fraught relationship for Penelope because she wants to be lovers not friends) and yet she refuses to share the two most important aspects of her life with her friend: her love for Colin and her being Lady Whistledown. 

Let’s leave Colin to the side for now because Eloise being his sister complicates matters as far as Penelope telling her she’s in love with him. 

But why doesn’t she tell Eloise about Lady Whistledown? Particularly in season 1, when she’s just starting to write the scandal sheet. She has no idea where Lady Whistledown will even lead, if she’ll keep going etc. She’s basically doing it because she’s a writer and she wants to have fun talking about the society she knows so well. 

So why not share the fun with her friend? It’s pretty clear Eloise doesn’t even know Penelope is a writer and hasn’t seen anything she ever wrote before Lady Whistledown because, otherwise, she’d know it was Penelope doing it. 

Also let’s not forget that, in season 1, Eloise was Lady Whitledown’s number 1 fan. She can’t stop talking about how amazing and brilliant she is. 

And yet Penelope says nothing. She’d rather grin proudly behind Eloise’s back than go: “Actually this woman you like so much … I am she. She is me.”

She again fails to do it in season 2, despite knowing that Eloise helped her in escaping the queen’s men at the end of season 1. 

And then the worst part of their friendship begins as the pressure from the queen mounts and Eloise is more and more determined to find out the identity of Lady Whistledown. Penelope chooses to gaslight and manipulate Eloise for weeks.

It’s not just Eloise’s relationship with Theo and her attending political meetings that put her in harm’s way and eventually forces Lady Whistledown to write about her in order for the Queen to stop suspecting Eloise. It’s Penelope’s refusal to be honest with her friend. 

Penelope is so determined to keep Eloise in the dark that even at the end of season 2, when she walks into her bedroom and sees Eloise, she still tries to gaslight her one last time. 

Penelope: You’ve been reading too much Whistledown. Her voice is echoing in your head. 

Penelope is stuck in a pattern of toxic behavior because that’s what she’s learned to do from her family. She cannot be honest about Lady Whistledown or anything truly meaningful, despite how hard it is for her to remain isolated and in the shadows: 

Penelope: You have no idea how horrible it has felt to keep this from you! From everyone! For so long. 

It’s no wonder that, in their fight scene, Eloise tells her: 

Eloise: I do not even know you. 

That’s because Penelope herself has made it so that the people closest to her, Eloise and Colin, don’t actually know the real her. She’s given each of them what she thought they wanted and needed (she’s very similar to Colin in that way) but not enough of the real her.

So when the Lady Whistledown revelation happens, there’s nothing for Eloise to fall back on in order to try and understand Penelope. 

All of a sudden her best friend feels like a stranger. A stranger that has exposed her intimate affairs to the whole world and who tells her this: 

Penelope: At least I did something. All you ever do is talk about doing something. You have all of these great ambitions, these great plans but I am the one who actually did something great and you can’t stand it, can you? 

Now, because we, as the audience, are privy to Penelope’s inner world and we know just how riddled with low self-esteem she is and how she’s used to those closest to her being dismissive of her or her achievements, it’s easy for us to see that Penelope tells Eloise this in anger. Particularly after Eloise tells her:

Eloise: I look at you now and all I feel is pity for you. Sequestered here, in this very room, writing your secret little scandal sheet, tarnishing everyone in town all because you are too afraid to stand up for yourself in reality. You are something else, Penelope. An insipid wallflower, indeed. 

Eloise’s words hit too close to home. Too close to the reality of Penelope’s isolation and fear of being alone and abandoned so she hurts Eloise back the only way she can. By pointing to the fact that despite talking and talking endlessly about all the great things women, and she in particular, could be doing, Eloise isn’t actually doing anything. 

Basically, these two manage to hurt each other worse than anyone else could because they’re best friends, because they know each other and what makes the other one tick. 

But from Eloise’s perspective? In this moment, where she’s been betrayed by her best friend? Well, Penelope doesn’t feel like a friend at all. She feels like someone who got close to her only to exploit her so she could write a scandal sheet and make money off of her misery: 

Eloise: This was personal. 

Penelope: Eloise, I’m so sorry. I was only trying to protect you. 

Eloise: Is that what you were doing? By writing about me in your latest sheet? By telling the entire world about things I trusted you with? [...] The only person you were interested in saving was yourself. All so you could keep making money at the cost to everyone else. At a cost to Miss Thompson. To my brother. To my entire family. To your entire family. [...] All because of your self serving manipulations. 

Which brings us to Eloise’s reaction to the closeness between Colin and Penelope and the announcement of their engagement. 

To Eloise’s credit, since their fight, she’s tried her hardest to be an adult and not punish Penelope more than she needs to. She’s very hurt by what her friend did and she can’t trust her but she also doesn’t want to hurt Pen.

She’s kept the Lady Whistledown secret and refuses to tell Colin why their friendship fell apart because she doesn’t want Penelope to lose the one friend she still has. 

She also misses Penelope which is why she ends up telling Cressida about Colin helping her find a husband. She’s trying to figure out what’s going on with her friend and the only way Eloise knows how to figure stuff out is by talking … and talking … and talking … in full earshot of everyone at the ball. 

But despite all of this, as far as she knows, Penelope is still the girl that divulged her secrets, ruined Marina Thompson’s reputation and hurt Colin, not only by revealing Marina’s pregnancy but by taking cheap shots at him only weeks before her brother waltzes into the Bridgerton drawing room to announce he’s engaged to Penelope Featherington. 

What kind of sister would Eloise be if she wasn’t angry at Penelope for that? If she didn’t want Colin to find out the truth as soon as possible? 

Personally, I think she’s showing real restraint. She cares so much about Penelope that she’s not dragging her brother into the study the moment she hears the engagement news to tell him that he’s about to marry the dreaded Lady Whistledown. 

Which brings us back to my earlier point: Penelope never trusted Eloise enough to tell her she was in love with Colin. Maybe if Eloise knew that Penelope has had a crush on Colin since she was 10 years old, she might be able to understand this engagement better. 

But from her viewpoint, all she’s likely to see is that Colin is an impulsive romantic who once again has gotten engaged to a girl who is lying to him and using him to avoid social ostracization. 

I know that by the end of the season Eloise and Penelope will have mended their relationship and they will go back to being the besties we know they are.

But what I would love to see in part 2 of the season is Penelope actually being brave and honest with the two people that she loves most in the world. Not just about her being Lady Whistledown but about the reasons why she became Lady Whistledown. It’s only by her decision to be vulnerable and open that she can actually mend her relationship with Eloise. 

Friendships aren’t just about being there for your friend, about listening and giving them what you think they need but also about allowing your friend to be there for you. To allow them to truly know you: your fears, your sadness, your hopes and dreams. That’s the only way for a friendship to thrive.

[starlightxsvt]

3 dates | c.sc

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 12.4k+ (i have NO idea how this became so long so strap in for a ride)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, self doubt, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

synopsis ➳ after one fateful encounter with him you cannot get him out of your head. so you opt to do some crazy things to catch his attention and even snag a few dates with him. only trouble is he isn't the type to stay after the whole disposition is over.

Swirling the third drink in your hand you heave yet another depressed sigh. You are so tired that you feel like you can just slump on the counter and pass out. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop for a drink, you alcohol riddled brain thinks.

The plans you had with Katelyn was cancelled last moment; she called to tell you that her thesis submission date was moved forward and so she couldn't hang out with you tonight. You're in the middle of an existential crisis quite literally, the too many part time jobs yet still lack of money and copious amounts of study getting to you. Staring hard at your drink you contemplate if it is worth giving up on college and your dream of becoming an arts major. It sure feels tempting right now, the long hours at the diner and not enough sleep at night proving to be the worst nuisance.

Sighing you put down your drink. It's still early, you should go home and try to catch up on the much needed sleep. You really had no intention of grabbing a drink tonight; you have morning classes tomorrow but you made a last moment decision to stop for a drink on your way back home. You didn't take your usual route to home today, and while trudging through the streets tiredly you came across this bar called Seventeen's. You've heard stories about this place, how it is the home to local gangs and how it's bad people's turf and what not. Your curiosity, probably too much of that made you get inside for a drink even though all the bones in your body ached. The inside is what you expected, nowhere near fancy but dingy, just decent enough. The people inside didn't look friendly and if the chains and tattoos on them gave any indication you'd say the rumours are true; this is the turf of gangs. The drinks taste decent, not the best but not the worst and from the overall look of this place you don't really have a reason to come back.

You're about to stand up from your stool when a large, clammy hand grabs your wrist out of nowhere, making you jump. "Hey sexy, sit down. Let me buy you a drink," the owner of the hand, a large, tattooed middle aged man slurs making your nose scrunch out of disgust. You're wearing nothing that can be called sexy; a plain cardigan and jeans and the way he looks you up and down makes you want to poke his eyes out.

You really shouldn't have come here. Clenching your jaw, you meet his eyes, "What makes you think I'm interested to have a drink with you?"

"Oh come on, why would you be here then, lookin' all nice? Just sit down," the man drawls, an ugly smile on his face. He still hasn't let go of your wrist and it's making you impatient. Looks like you're gonna have to kick his balls tonight. Maybe the self defense classes didn't completely go to waste.

"Get your disgusting hands off me while I'm being nice, sleazeball," you hiss at him, trying to get his hand off. The man stands up growling, "What did you say you bitch?" You're preparing to break his nose when out of nowhere a punch lands on his face that sends him tumbling to the ground. The attacker gets on top of him and twists his arm and you can literally hear a bone snap.

Shit.

"I think she said she is not interested," the man hisses, landing yet another another hit on his face before kicking his groin and getting up. When he turns around and his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a few beats and you almost The man is drop dead gorgeous, someone you would not expect to see here but probably on the cover of a high end magazine. His blond hair is long, crossing the nape of his neck as well as some covering his forehead. What takes your breath away the most is his eyes, the most beautiful pair you've ever seen. They seem to have their own galaxies in them, so deep and mesmerising and decorated with lashes long enough to make you jealous. His dress up, black jacket and jeans, immediately tells you what he is; a gang member.

"You should get home, lady," He speaks in a no nonsense tone, his face cold as ice. But you're offended. "Excuse me? Who are you calling lady? You make it sound like I'm old." You puff your cheeks and cross your arms, trying to appear intimidating. "Besides I had the situation under control, you didn't need to butt in." The man keeps looking at you with that no nonsense look, his features displaying annoyance if you are right and he's clearly not intimidated. The dude on the floor grunts and makes an effort to get up, only to be kicked by your saviour once more. "Hey Mingyu, get him out of here. What was this piece of trash doing here anyway?" The man orders to someone before turning to look at you, "Do you live far?"

"Uh- no, a ten minutes walk from here maybe," you reply unsurely, surprised at his question. The blond haired man nods before grabbing your wrist, "I'll walk you home. Hurry up, lady." You have a feeling he's purposely calling you that and though you start following him out of the bar, you make grunts of protest.

"Oh yeah, why? Trying to find out my address? So you can come later and hurt me like that guy?" You would not be this brazen if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system, after all the man next you isn't a friendly one if the rumours are true. The man raises a brow at you, "Did you do something that requires me to beat you up?" You hiccup at his serious tone. Does he not get a joke? He lets go of your hand now that you're at a safe distance from the bar but still stays close enough to you as your steps are rather stumbling and messy. You aren't fully drunk but your body is tired and feels like will shut down any second.

You really need some sleep.

"You know I'm not that drunk. You don't have to walk me home." You complain. "I'm walking you home because this isn't a nice place you should be alone at night. What happened earlier could happen again." He says not looking at you. "Mhmm," you keep on trudging behind him, "Thank you so much for your kind gesture, sir." You mock him but he doesn't reply, staring straight ahead, completely ignoring you as he walks quietly. In silence you two walk the rest of the path, before finally stopping as your apartment comes into view. At this point it feels like your bones will break and you will plop down on the concrete any second, but you manage to keep standing. "Well, thanks for walking me home." You shift your weight from one foot to another. "And for helping me back there." He shrugs coolly, a bored expression on his face. He's turning to walk away when you call, "Hey- I didn't get your name."

"What do you need it for?" He side glances at you. You shrug, "I don't know. You helped me so I thought it'd be nice to know your name." "You don't need to. Go inside, lady." He says, his tone final and starts marching away. You wait a couple moments before yelling, "Asshole!" and quickly rushing inside your building, partly afraid he's gonna come back.

You won't be surprised if you get killed tonight.

-

"So you are telling me Choi Seungcheol walked you home?" Katelyn screams in your ear, jolting up from her seat, earning glares from other people at the library in the process. "That's his name?" You whisper-yell, grabbing her hand to pull her back down. "I'm guessing from the blond hair you said," Katelyn shrugs. "Uh huh." You mean back in your chair, "He was hot though."

"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Katelyn whines exasperatedly. "No, I mean, if it wasn't for the way he dresses or talks I would have thought he's a model or something." You murmur.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" Katelyn questions. "Hell no!" You frown. "He saved me from that creepy old dude. I was surprised too. I wish I didn't drink so much, I could have gotten a better look at his face," you sigh. "Seriously?" Katelyn raises a brow at you.

"Girl, you should have seen him. His aura and the way he carried himself was...so hot." You grin to yourself. Katelyn watches you like you've grown two heads. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on that gangster?" You smile sheepishly, "Maybe, I mean it's harmless. He was broody yet charming and I'm a girl so.... Also, it's not like he likes me too and is gonna come running whenever I ask him to bang me." You mutter.

"Oh he's gonna break your bones and bang your skull against a wall. That's what he's gonna do."

"Come on! Maybe he isn't so bad. Maybe the rumours are just rumours. Maybe he just looks intimidating and dresses up like that and people thinks he's a gangster." "Really? His name is on every bad thing that happens around here. From illegal racing to murders. Do you know that people say he has killed too?" "Like I said, rumours," you shrug being your stubborn self. Katelyn holds her hands up in surrender, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're alive so let's just put this behind us, shall we?" You don't reply but wiggle your brows at her, a conspirational look on your face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that," Katelyn warns. "Let's go to that bar tonight. Please?" You give her your best puppy eyes. "What are you? Fucking crazy? You wanna get killed?" She whisper-yells, scowling at you. "No. I just wanna take another look at him. Without the alcohol in my system you know. Besides, the place isn't that bad." You reply.

"Well then get killed by yourself. I'm not coming with you."

"I'll help you with your papers for the rest of the semester."

"Shit."

-

"Well, looks like your wish won't be coming true," Katelyn muses chugging down her fourth glass as you keep playing with your first one. It's nearing an hour since you've come to the bar and there has been no sign of the man you desperately seek. The place is exactly like it was the other day, filled with people who you wouldn't want to mess with.

Yet here you are.

"Let's call it a night," Katelyn sighs. "We're just wasting our time." You know that too but you don't want to leave; not just yet. You are well aware that this is just pathetic but you've this crazy urge to see that man once again. You don't know why you feel this way; you never felt like this before. Why are thinking yourself to death about a complete stranger? Has some kind of spell been casted on you?

"Yeah, let's get going," you murmur half heartedly. You help your friend stand up as she's a little wobbly on her feet and together you make your way through the door. "Should we call a cab?" You ask Katelyn. She shakes her head no and you nod, you arms wrapped around hers to support her in case she looses her balance. You start stepping away from the bar and towards the road to her place until a noise from behind makes you stop in your tracks.

"Did you hear that?" You ask, whipping your head behind. There's no one around and the street is mostly dark other than the light flashing from the name of the bar. You hear the sound once again and this time you can locate where it's coming from. There's an abandoned playground at the back of the bar and you've a feeling that's the source.

Katelyn hisses as she sees you step towards there. "What are you doing!"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Yes I did. That's why I say we leave!" You ignore her and cautiously keep on stepping forward, mentally cursing yourself for wearing heels. Katelyn follows behind you murmuring all kinds of warnings. "You know curiosity killed the cat, right?" She whispers.

You roll your eyes, "Well I'm not a cat. Just- be quiet. It can be nothing." You both move past the bar gingerly and towards the playground at the back. There are old gallons of oil and abandoned materials just around the corner and you two quickly hide among them. It takes you a while to get adjusted to the low light after you poke your head up from the hiding spot.

You're eyes fix on him immediately. His blond hair makes him easily recognisable amid the darkness. There is a few more people around him, all kicking something in the ground. Not something, but someone. The man lying on the ground groans in pain and you realize this is what you both heard. "Shit," You hear Katelyn curse from beside you. "We need to get going." Instead of replying, you keep your eyes trained on the scene unfolding, holding your breath. You're tranced. Seungcheol lands continuous punched on the guy laying below him and after a moment his writhing frame seems to stop moving as it falls limp.

Fuck.

"You know in movies this is the part where people get caught." Katelyn whispers, her voice hoarse and her hand clutching yours in a tugging motion. "Uh-huh. But I can't seem to move. I wonder if he's... really dead." You whisper back. "Are you fucking crazy!" She hisses. "You wanna witness murder?"

Before you can reply you hear a sound that echoes through the empty field and it takes a second for you two to realise that it came from any one of you two. You don't have the time to figure out who made it as you both are crawling away from the playground without looking back, head crouched low to avoid being seen. You don't know if they heard that or if they're coming behind you, you both just keep scrambling, moving until you're past the corner. As soon as possible you both get on your feet and run like the grim reaper is chasing you, stopping only when you are far enough from the bar.

"I am never listening to you again!" Katelyn yells.

-

It's been a good few days since your near death experience and you somehow find yourself in front of that bar once again. You and Katelyn have not brought up that incident after that night. You made yourself believe that it was over and came to a conclusion that it is better to forget that man and leave all of it behind, no matter how much your heart disagreed. But it's easier said than done; you may not mention him out loud but in the back of your mind you think of him. He's like a ghost, haunting you all the time, plagueing your thoughts when you go to bed at night. It felt like he was ever existent and there was an itch in your heart that drove you insane.

Maybe that's why your subconscious brought you here, in front of Seventeen's, once again. You were on your way back home from library and you thought you took your usual route, until you realized you were standing in front of that place. But what is even terrifying is that the man haunting your mind stands in front of the entrance of the bar and you blink a few times to make sure you are not hallucinating. He's leaned against the entrance door, cigarette between his lips and from his pocket he fetches a lighter to light the poison in his mouth.

Damn, lighting up a cigarette never looked this sexy.

He hasn't seen you yet and you contemplate running the other way. That's the sensible thing to do but you, not being a sensible person, start walking towards him. Your footsteps make him look up and notice you and like the last time, there is no expression on his face. It's the same bored yet handsome face except now in daylight you can take a better look at him and this time, you notice a little mole on the left of his face, by his nose. Realising he's gonna stay silent you decide to speak, "Hi... It's me... Do you remember me?" Wow. That's such an intelligent thing to ask.

With the monotoned yet serious expression on his face, he goes, "Why won't I? I don't have Alzheimer's."

So he can joke.

You laugh, an awkward, probably exaggerated laugh. "What are you doing here? Did you not learn your lesson last time?" He cuts to the chase, his voice brassy and deep, almost threatening. You want to roll your eyes. "Who are you to say? I can be wherever I want whenever I want, thank you very much." "Well then, have fun getting in trouble like last time." He's nonchalant as he blows a smoke right past you and stands up straight, turning away. "Wait!" You almost grab his hand, desperate to stop him.

What is wrong with you? Your subconscious slaps her forehead. What are you holding him back for? To say 'hello sir, I think you're hot, can you please put your dick inside me'? Seungcheol turns his head back, his eyebrow cocked up.

Why do you find everything about him so attractive?

"Um...I know your name, Seungcheol." You speak, trying to sound intimidating, like knowing his name gives you some power over him. There's something definitely wrong with you which is why you don't want him to leave just yet and which is why you're stalling time. But it seems to have done the job as he pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and turns towards you, an annoyed look on his face. "How do you know that?" The timbre of his tone is deep and it rakes shivers down your spine. "Well, you've built quite a reputation for yourself so it isn't hard to get your name." You shrug coolly. "Well, if you know so much about my reputation, you should know what I'm capable of." His lone is low, almost threating as he starts to take slow steps towards you making you step back out of reflex.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you will also end up like the curious cat.

"Oh yes, I know. People have got a lot to say about you," you try to sound unfazed, not meeting his eyes that you feel are burning holes on your face. "What are you doing here, lady?" he asks slowly, pausing between each word and glaring at you as he continues to step forward. You can feel his patience thinning.

"I swear to God if you call me that-"

"What are you doing here?" This time his tone is scary, too scary. It makes you lose the ability to speak for a second as his dark gaze bores into you. He has backed you up against the wall behind you and you swallow. Right, what are you doing here? It probably has something to do with a very hot individual and his insanely attractive aura. Scratch that you are a hundred percent sure it has something to do with the blond haired, enticing man in front of you. He's driving you mad and you need to get your fill of him.

"Go out with me," you state and you are sure you've never spoken words more stupid than that. Internally, you cringe and pray that the ground below you would open and take you straight to the fiery pits.

This is the first time you see some sort of expression come across his face; surprise. He looks utterly shocked and somewhat confused. His mouth opens just a little and he squints at you, "What?"

There's no going back now.

"Go out with me. Let's go on three dates." you say once more, looking him in the eye. He seems to appear even more surprised, a dumbstruck look sitting on his face. He observes you quietly for a while and you can feel the gears in his head shifting. You wonder what he's gonna say next. Or maybe he won't say anything but bang your head on the wall and leave you to die alone. "I'm sorry I'm not following," he looks genuinely perplexed. "I want to go on three dates with you. They say after three dates you can figure out whether you like that person or not and I think I like you so..."

I think I like you.

The biggest understatement of the year.

Seungcheol tilts his head, an amused expression on his face as he studies you, those sharp eyes of his settling on yours, "What is your deal, sweetheart?" He crosses his arms, a brow raised. Sweetheart? That's new. And definitely better than lady. You can't deny how hearing him call you that makes your insides melt. "Nothing. I just want to date you," you shrug, trying to keep your wits together. His proximity is driving you wild; you can sniff a faint smell of cologne and cigarette, him being inches away from you. This time he laughs loudly, a mocking laugh you'd say. "Who sent you?"

Oh my god.

You roll your eyes. "Nobody sent me! Do I look like I'm a gang member or something?" "Then I don't see a reason why you'd want to date me," He states, throwing a challenging look at you.

"What if I said I have a thing for bad boys?"

He snorts. "You don't look the type to date bad boys," he mocks. "Who are you to say that?" You cross your arms. "I want to date you because I think you're hot, okay?" You can not believe you just said that. Looks like you don't have control over your mouth anymore. Warmth spreads throughout your face like a forest fire.

Seungcheol narrows his eyes on you, his tongue poking his cheek as he stands in front of you as if trying to read your mind. After a beat he sighs before looking at you, his eyes becoming darker than usual and his gaze unforgiving. "Hey. Does it look like I'm playing house here? Do you have any idea about the shit I do? The dirty work I do? I don't care if you have a fucking fetish or whatever but this is the last time I'm warning you. I don't want to see you around again. If I see you here once more, you're in fucking trouble," he spits and starts stomping away. His tone is serious and you know very well he is not joking, which is why you use your last resort. You're embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate but at the same time you feel shameless. It has almost turned into a game at this point, you want to make him surrender. That's right, you want him to give in. "You shouldn't be like that with me. I saw you, a few days ago. That night, when you and your friends were beating up that guy...in the playground," you casually stroll to come stand right behind him.

You can't believe you are blackmailing a gangster. Your death must be near.

Seungcheol whips his head back, his eyes glaring at you and you can almost see fire in them. Finally, you got his attention.

"My friend also saw it, we both did. You killed him, didn't you? Me and my friend witnessed a murder. What do you say? Should we go to the station?" You can see his jaw clench and you can't hold back a victorious smirk. Moments pass by as your words hang in the air and the tension between you gets thicker. Yet once more he surprises you, breaking the silence with a chuckle, "Well I killed one person, what makes you think I can't take care of another?"

You swallow.

"Well, my friend already knows so if I go missing you can be sure that the cops will come to you first." You throw back at him.

When did you get so wreckless?

Seungcheol stares at you for a few more seconds before shrugging and moving his hand dismissively, "Well then go tell the cops. I don't give a shit." He starts walking back to the bar leaving you starstruck. He stops and turns towards you before opening the door, "Also, I meant it. I hope I don't see you around. Otherwise I may just have to hurt that pretty face."

-

You don't show up after that.

Mostly because you are embarasssed.

It's been a good while after your last encounter with Seungcheol and you didn't go to the police, obviously. Because you don't have evidence and from what you've heard Seungcheol is pretty influential around here and you don't need to go to an extent to get on his bad side. You're definitely gonna end up dead if you do so, which you don't want just yet.

Classes have just finished and you and Katelyn step out of the classroom together, walking through the hallways and into the main campus. She rambles on about some bad sushi she ate yesterday while your mind remains preoccupied. Maybe you need to get laid. Maybe that'll make you forget about Seungcheol. You just need good dick that's probably why you were so desperate for him.

That's just a stupid lie.

You don't realise Katelyn is calling you until she shakes you by the shoulder and you snap back into reality. You notice her face is as pale as a ghost and following her line of sight your eyes stop on him.

Him. Seungcheol.

What?

You double take, blinking furiously to confirm your vision. He's standing there, in the parking area of your uni, leaned against a convertible Ferrari, a cigarette between his lips. He looks relaxed, like he does this regularly. Students whisper in each others ear while gawking at him curiously. "What did you do!" Katelyn yells. "Nothing!" You hiss back.

"Then why is he here!"

"I don't know!"

Your eyes meet with Seungcheol's and a smirk spreads across his face making you shiver. He stands up straight and tilts his head, an indication for you to come closer to him. "Fuck, he's here for me," you mumble. "Of course he's here for you, dumbass," Katelyn snaps. "Well, if I don't return, you know who killed me." You sigh starting to walk towards him. "Wait- you're going with him?" She asks incredulously.

"Don't worry. I'll keep my phone on. I don't think he's gonna murder me, I mean there are so many witnesses." You inhale deeply, leaving behind a lost looking Katelyn.

Seungcheol says nothing as you stand right in front of him raising an inquisitive brow but he only holds open the door for you to get in. Deciding to follow him you enter the car quietly and a wave of gasps go through the crowd.

There's gonna be talk about this tomorrow.

Seungcheol, still smirking victoriously for some reason rounds the car and gets inside and within seconds you're hitting the road. There's a thick silence for a while, which feels like ages to you. You're overwhelmed, bewildered to say anything; your poor brain still processing what is happening. You're nervous, jittery as you fiddle with you bag and look out on your side, for some reason scared to look at him.

What if he really kills you? He wouldn't, right?

"You're awfully quiet," Seungcheol says matter of factly as he spares you a glance while driving.

"I'm... processing."

"What are you, a robot?"

"Why are you doing this?" You question instead.

"Doing what?"

"Okay, you know very well what I mean. Why are you picking me up from uni all of a sudden? How do you even know I'm a student there?" "I have resources and...you didn't protest at all. You came along nicely," Seungcheol raised a brow at you, a cocky smile on his lips. You don't answer but continue to stare at him, trying to pin him down with your gaze. He finally sighs and pulls the car to a stop by the side of the road, the sudden brake making you slightly jerk in your seat. "I've decided to give you those 3 dates. That's why," He is calm, unreadable and you wonder if this is a prank. Then again, he has no reason to prank you, does he? "Really?" Your voice comes out breathy. "Yes. I thought I'd give you a taste of how it feels to be with someone like me. I can scare people without physically hurting them you know," He says in a menacing tone.

"So what? You're taking me to an underground fight or something?" You question. "Nah, we're keeping it simple today." He smirks as he starts the car again and turns on the radio, an indication that he doesn't want to converse anymore.

Shamelessly you take a good look at Seungcheol; he's dressed in another jacket today paired with a black tee underneath. Today, you notice he has upped his accessory game, his fingers full of rings and chains dangling from his neck. But what catches your attention is a tattoo, something like a dragon and words written in a language you don't understand, peeking from underneath his sleeve. You almost ask about it but decide it'll probably be too much and he wouldn't answer you anyway.

As you do so, in the back of your mind you think you should have dressed better, something cuter, more appropriate for a date rather than a plain blouse and jeans. But then again who knew Choi Seungcheol was gonna show up out of the blue. You're gnawing at your lower lip, lost in your thoughts when the car is pulled to a halt and you realize your ride is over. You're parked in front of a diner called Lacy's and from the vibe that the place is giving, you can tell that this is place where people like him hang out. You raise a questioning brow at Seungcheol who says, "I know it doesn't look fancy but trust me I has some of the best food I've ever eaten." Taking his words for now you quickly type out a text to Katelyn letting her know you're in one piece and get out of the car.

Once you're seated you look around the place which is relatively empty except some men playing pool at the far end. You watch Seungcheol who has gone to the reception booth to place your orders; his posture relaxed as he leans against the counter and talks to the girl standing there. They seem to know each other because their chat takes longer than it should and the girl has a shy, almost flirty smile on her face.

He probably fucks her.

You shake the thought off your head as the gangster comes back and sits in front of you. There's silence for a second as you wonder if you should just ask the questions that run free around your mind. "Are the rumours true?" You blurt out. He's raises a brow.

"About you. You know..."

"Do you want them to be true?" He asks back. "I don't...know," you reply. "Well, I think it depends on each person. If you want it to be true it is true, if you don't it isn't," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Why don't you just give me a straight answer?" you snap. He smirks as if he's having fun but doesn't reply, watching you with his arms crossed. You roll your your eyes, blowing out an exasperated breath. "You know, I haven't seen one like you. Willingly hanging out with dangerous people, going to dangerous places. You say you saw me kill someone yet you're here. You're almost desperate to get in trouble," he observes. "I'm not desperate to get in trouble. I just...I'm just- attracted to you alright?" This is so embarrassing. You need to shut your mouth. "You've been on my mind ever since that night. I wanna see exactly how deep I'm into you." You bite your lip.

That's enough. You will boost his ego through the roof like this.

Seungcheol studies you for a bit before grinning cockily, "Well, if you didn't know, I am trouble baby. Just you being with me might end you up in a mess." Before you can reply, your food is served, that same girl from the booth setting down your plates and looking at Seungcheol for a bit too long with that same stupid smile which he returns. You don't know why but you feel jealous, jealous of whatever these two share, whatever she has with him.

You've lost your mind at this point. You're on a high that is Seungcheol. He has made you forget your morals, made you completely lose your mind. Or maybe you've been too good all your life and seeing him brought out that crazy, thrill seeking part of yourself.

Silently you dig into your food and as Seungcheol said, the food is really good. This is one of the best meatloaf you've ever had and you can't help but moan. Seungcheol watches you with an amused smile before popping a fry in his mouth.

"What's your major?" Seungcheol asks out of the blue.

"Uh- sociology."

"Mmhmm."

You're about to ask him what he studied in college but you assume he probably never went to one so you seal your lips. You wonder what his background is and who his parents are but you don't want to get too personal on the first day. So you ask something else, "How old are you?" He laughs out loud before he deadpans, "Thirty five." "What!" You almost choke.

There's no way he's-

"Why? What did you expect?"

"I... I don't know! A few years older than me? You're kidding right? You don't look thirty five." He has to be bluffing. "And how old would you be?" "You shouldn't ask a woman her age," you try to make a point. "Don't you have any manners?" He smirks,"I don't, sweetheart. To answer your question, I'm twenty eight."

Uh huh.

"Well, I'm twenty one," you mutter under your breath. You don't know if he hears it because he doesn't give any reaction, busy twirling a fry in sauce. The rest of your meal is full of silence as you wonder if your date will end like this; dry and boring. He's awfully silent and seems to be lost in thoughts as he doesn't engage in a conversation. You're about to take your last bite when the silence is broken by him.

"What did you see that night?" He leans over, his elbows resting on the table as he suddenly regards you with a sombre look, his earlier cockiness vanished. His eyes have once again gone dark and his demeanor says he's not being superficial right now. You're caught off guard as you cough loudly, reaching for your glass to take a sip of water. "What?"

"You heard me. What did you see that night? Exactly how much did you see?" He repeats. You're confused. You thought he didn't care about it. He said it didn't matter. So why is he bringing it up now? You've worked hard to push that night in the deepest part of your brain, pretending it didn't happen.

And then suddenly it clicks.

"You!" You point an accusatory finger at him as you catch on to his plan. "You've agreed to go out with me so that you can find out what I saw that night!" Seungcheol groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just fucking tell me!" He snaps, annoyed that you've found out his little scheme. You scoff, "I thought you said you didn't care? Besides it's not like I'm going to tell the police." He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. "Just tell me and let me go."

You're baffled. His actions didn't make any sense and you actually thought he had no other intentions behind dating you but holy shit this sneaky bastard. "You sly little asshole!" You hiss at him. "Call me that once more and you'll regret it." He threatens. You roll your eyes sagging back into your seat, "Whatever." Then an idea hits you. "You know what, I'll tell you exactly how much I saw that night." You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he stares intensely at you, waiting for your next words. "On our third date. When this whole deal is over, I'll tell you. But in return you'll have to keep your promise and take me out on two more dates."

"Oh fucking hell," he groans rubbing his face in frustration. His state makes you smirk and you feel accomplished.

Choi Seungcheol is stressed because of you.

What a day to be alive.

You murmur, "Besides this isn't even a proper date. This was more like an interrogation. But I'll go easy on you and won't make you redo this date." You give him a sweet smile and he sees red. You can literally see fury blaze in his eyes. "Whatever!" He yells and abruptly stands up. "I don't have time for this. Your stupid play date is over. I'm dropping you home."

Before you can reply, he's marching towards the door. You've to admit this wasn't the best date but at least you've trapped Choi Seungcheol.

-

It has been a good week after your so called date at the diner and you haven't heard from him. You expected him to call or text you since he was gracious enough to ask for your number but he didn't. You now realize it was a mistake to not get his number; you had asked him for his when he took yours but being the prick he is he denied to hand over his number to you. You should have forced him to, you sigh. As you sit in the library the ping of your mobile distracts you from your racing thoughts as you realize you have a message. Picking the device up you tap on the notification. Even though it was from an unknown number, you have no trouble figuring out who it is from. A smile graces your lips as you read the words over again.

I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow evening at six.

That's all it says and that is good enough to send a thrum of excitement throughout your body.

-

You have not held back in dressing up today and you realize it's been a long time since you've dolled up yourself. A long before the clock strikes 6 you are ready; dressed in a cute pastel top and a matching skirt. You've also went ahead and applied makeup, not too much but just enough to maybe catch his eye. Maybe.

You wonder what he has planned for today.

A text from Seungcheol saying he's here has you flying out of your apartment as fast as your feet can carry your desperate self to see him. He stands in front of your apartment with his convertible, dressed in a white jacket that matched his pants. You take a deep breath before walking towards him, trying to calm all your nerves down.

"You know I expected to hear from you earlier. I've been waiting all week," you voice makes his head turn around to meet your eyes as you are skipping towards him with a teasing smile in your face. "I've been busy," he shrugs coolly, his eyes going over your whole body, from your legs to your face. He doesn't hide that he's taking a good look at you, in fact does it unashamedly.

You wonder if he likes what he sees.

Someone dressed up today," he comments. "Too bad we aren't going to a place where you can show off your pretty clothes." You frown, "Where are we going?" Seungcheol holds open the door, a mischievous smile on his face. "I've decided to grant your wish." With a confused face you get inside the car, the gears in your head running. What does he mean?

"I'm taking you to an underground fighting ring," he says with smirk as he reaches for something behind his seat. He pulls out a large hoodie and tosses it towards you, "Put this on. Otherwise you are going to attract a lot of attention and you don't want that." You gulp, taking the hoodie and putting it on you. You're slightly embarrassed. You were so excited to try this outfit but it's not like you knew he was taking you to a fight club. Hell you would have dressed like a guy if you knew. You shrug on the hoodie and it falls almost to your knees but it's huge and comfy and most importantly it smells like him. There's a hint of cologne, nothing too strong; a subtle, expensive scent that makes you want to take a deeper sniff. You wonder if you can keep this with you.

Stop it, pervert.

Seungcheol's voice pulls you out of your haze, "You can take it off later. Just wear it until we're out of there," he says and brings the engine to life.

Then you actually think about it. Underground fighting ring? Holy shit. You were only kidding when you mentioned it. Admittedly, you're shocked, somewhat horrified. Everyone knows it isn't the best place to be at especially for someone like you who never had such an experience. Seungcheol must have seen your expression because the smile on his face gets bigger, "Why? You not up for it?" His voice is teasing.

He's challenging you.

Oh well.

"Of course I'm up for it," you square your shoulders, keeping your voice cool. "Bring it on."

-

Seungcheol leads you into a bar and then through a door at the back that leads down to a lot of stairs, reaching a place similar to an underground parking lot. Quietly you follow Seungcheol, staying as close to him as possible, your bodies occasionally touching. He leads you to a pair of double doors and from the other side you can hear men shouting and chanting.

This is it, I guess.

Seungcheol throws one more smile at you before pushing open the doors as you scramble to follow him closely. The sight that greets you something you only see in movies. There's a boxing ring where two people are throwing punches at each other and surrounding them from all sides is a wild, loud and excited crowd. They continue to cheer loudly as the two men in the ring continue to box and you hear their grunts and groans.

Holy shit.

Swallowing your eyes meet Seungcheol's who is regarding you with curiosity. "What do you think?" He has to speak loudly for you to hear over the screaming throng. "Uh... It's loud," you say dumbly as you try to think of a reply. But it's too loud for you to even think properly as you take in your unfamiliar surroundings. You see a tall man approaching towards you and out of reflex you shuffle closer to Seungcheol until you realize it's his friend. The guy from the first night. He and Seungcheol grin at each other, patting their backs as they talk close to each others ears. You gawk at them curiously and realize they must be talking about you because his friend takes curious glances at you occasionally. His friend is tall, really tall and well built but unlike his body his face is sweet and puppy like, almost cute. When he grins his canines pop up just like a puppy and you wonder if all his friends are good looking.

After he's done chatting with his friend Seungcheol pulls you close and says, "This is my friend. Mingyu. Always stay near him, you hear me? Don't stray away unless you wanna get hurt." His eyes are stern as he pins you down with his stare but you have other thoughts running in your head.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" You yell over the noise.

He just smirks at you and starts taking his jacket off. "About time you see how we do it around here." His tone is cocky as he hands his jacket to you, "Hold this for me. And stay close to him."

Giving a look at Mingyu Seungcheol starts walking away towards a door that you're guessing is the changing room.

He's gonna fight.

"Wait- but-" Mingyu stops you with a hand on your shoulder and offers you a kind smile. "It's fine. Just stay with me." He then ushers you towards the crowd, spotting a place where you can get a good look at the ring. "Do you guys do this often?" You look up at Mingyu. He smiles sheepishly, "Not me. I tried a few times and I always end up beaten to a pulp. But hyung does this often, he's really good."

"Uh huh, I'm sure he is," you smile dryly. "This is your first time watching a fight, no?" "Definitely." He grins, "Watch carefully then. It's really fun."

You have your doubts on how watching people beat each other up can be fun but you don't comment anything, instead chew on your lip anxiously. Seungcheol really didn't have to go this far? What if he gets hurt badly? Is he trying to impress you?

Don't flatter yourself, your subconscious rolls her eyes.

As the loud cheering that had died down ensues again, your train of thoughts are halted as you see Seungcheol in shorts and his hands covered in boxing gloves, step into the ring. You can't help but ogle at his naked torso, his finely defined and chiseled muscles. He has the perfect body, not too bulky, not too lean just the right amount that gives you a hard time taking your eyes off him. He seems to have noticed your gaze because the second your eyes meet, he throws a haughty, knowing smirk at you. Embarrassed you avert your gaze elsewhere.

His opponent is a muscular man who's growling and banging his chest with his fists, a gesture of intimidation, you suppose. You are definitely intimidated and you wonder if Seungcheol can actually win against him.

The fight starts with a whistle and in mere seconds they are on to each other, throwing punches left and right. Your eyes have a hard time keeping up with them and their fast reflexes and your hands fly to your mouth as a punch lands on Seungcheol's face, followed by repeated blows as Seungcheol falls back. There's a moment of silence as he wipes his bottom lip and you realize there's a cut.

He tilts his neck, popping the bones and glaring at the other man before launching himself on top of his opponent. The next moments are a blurry mess, Seungcheol beating the guy repeatedly until he ends up on the floor but he doesn't stop there. Seungcheol ends it with a sharp jab to his spine and you have no doubt the other man has broken bones with the ways he howls in pain. The match comes to an end like that as the people cheer wildly while Seungcheol steps down from the stage. Mingyu grins at you happily as if what you witnessed was just a regular occurrence, something you should be cheerful about. Shaking your head at the situation, you let out a deflated sigh.

Their life is really so different than yours.

-

Seungcheol seems to be in a very good mood after the fight as he buys you both some sandwiches and drinks from a deli after you both step out of the bar. You both sit down at a park nearby to eat and watch the night sky. "You know, I thought you were gonna lose," you speak after taking a few bites of the sandwich. Seungcheol scoffs, "You underestimate me, sweetheart. I've been doing this for a long time."

"Do you enjoy it?" You ask quietly, focused on peeling the wrapper from your food. You feel Seungcheol's stare on you. "Yes. Why? Are you scared already?"

"No. I was just... curious. Your definition and my definition of fun is totally different." You murmur. "Of course. What did you think? I go to the mall and shop and watch movies with my friends when I'm bored?" His tone is sarcastic. You bite your lip. "No I didn't. It's just...I feels different now that I have experienced it first hand." Seungcheol offers nothing more, taking a sip of his coke and leaning back into the bench. A silence stretches between the both of except the rustling of the wrapper of your food. "How long have you been doing this?" You blurt out. He frowns at you and you don't expect him to answer but he surprises you.

"For a long time."

He doesn't offer anymore and you don't have the heart to prod him for an actual answer. "And how long do you plan on doing this?"

"What?"

"I mean... don't you have any other plans. Like...do you wanna keep doing what you are doing for the rest of your life? Don't you wanna like... settle down maybe?" Your voice is soft as if you are talking to a child. Seungcheol looks annoyed. He doesn't speak for a while as he stares at the ground, a frown etched to his face. You're about to take back your question when he replies, "I really don't think you understand. I've been trying to tell you that my life is completely disparate to yours. So I don't think like you. I don't have plans like you but neither am I expected to follow a certain pattern like you. I can do whatever the fuck I want, ___. So don't look at me like you pity me. I'm the last person here that should be pitied. " His tone is sharp and it makes you feel bad, like a sensation of needles pricking your heart. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," You whisper, feeling timid as you look down at your lap. He mutters, "Don't go poking your nose in other people's business. Specially people like me."

He's right. You shouldn't have asked that. You are not close enough to ask things like that. After that there is a silence, this time, an awkward one. There's palpable tension in the air and you feel jittery. Should you just ask him to take you home?

It's still early and truth be told, you don't want to leave him just yet. You only have one more date to go and judging by his reaction, he is in no way interested in a relationship. You heave out a long sigh. You knew very well what you were getting into, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Seungcheol is like a poison, the sweetest one, the one that has you addicted and unable to let go, no matter how much it hurts.

This is a fucking mess.

"Let's get going. I have plans," Seungcheol announces, standing up. You want to protest but you feel like you have ruined the mood, so you follow him mutely to his car.

The drive to your house is awfully quiet, to the point you want to scream out of frustration. Seungcheol seems to be lost in his head as he makes no move to talk. It's like you are alone, but you're not and it's worse, the air full of tension. Soon you have reached your house and he stops the car but keeps the engine rolling, indicating his rush. He keeps still and stares ahead while gripping the steering wheel as you step out of the car in silence. "Thanks for dropping me home," you say lamely, your voice meek. You turn around to walk away but his voice stops you in your tracks.

"I promised you three dates and I will keep my word. I expect you to keep yours, ___. I hope you will tell me what I want to hear when we meet next time." His tone is sharp with an edge of threat and you barely get to nod before he drives away.

It's not until you're inside your apartment that you realize you still have his hoodie on. Quickly fishing out your phone you type out a text.

I'm sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie.

After a while, his reply comes.

Keep it.

-

You watch Katelyn as she fills her lunch tray with food before walking over and taking a seat opposite to you. She looks extra radiant today, which probably has something to do with the way she's dressed; a bright colourful outfit which undoubtedly she put a lot of time into considering. She has a date, with a guy she has been talking to for the last few weeks. It reminds you of your pitiful situation and you sigh, trying to shrug off those thoughts.

It has been a good couple weeks since you last saw Seungcheol and you have not exchanged a word after that night. In the back of your mind you wonder if he is even alive. You want to message him, you really want to because you are going crazy but after how your last date ended, you can't bring yourself to. You are scared, exactly of what, you can't put your finger into.

The entire situation you have put yourself into is fucking scary. They say you become sure of your feelings after three dates but it did not take that much for you. You already are very certain about your feelings for him and how deep they run exactly and you also know that in the end you will be left scarred. He would never be yours. He has probably forgotten about you or decided that it is not worth another date to figure out what you saw that night.

You let a desperate, pitiable sigh.

"I know you are hiding things from me but I understand that you are not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know I am here for you okay?" Katelyn's voice makes you blink your way out of your thoughts. She squeezes your hand tightly and gives you a reassuring smile and you're left feeling guilty.

"I ...I will tell you. Soon. Just give me a bit more time," you whisper. She nods in understanding. A grateful smile touches your lips as her words make you emotional. Then there's a ping from your phone letting you know there's a message. Without giving it much thought you open the device and your eyes go wide.

I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow night. Wear something formal.

-

You wait outside your apartment for Seungcheol. Your day has passed by in a flurry of excitement and nerves as you carefully picked your outfit and did your hair and makeup. A soft baby pink dress that stopped just above you knees adorns you as your hair rests just above your neck in a loose bun.

You are fiddling with your fingers as you think about how this night is gonna end and wether you will ever see him again when a car screech that grabs your attention.

Seungcheol's convertible has taken a stop in front of you and you see the man getting out the vehicle and take big steps towards you.

You're mesmerized.

Perhaps there is not enough word in this world to describe his looks or perhaps you've simple lost the ability to speak; either way, you just stand and stare, drinking the godly man that stands in front of you. He looks delectable, completely flawless and agonizingly gorgeous in his sharp black suit and pants, with a silk black shirt underneath, the top couple buttons undone that reveals a beautiful porcelain skin. His hairstyle completes the look, parted to one side in a sleek way and showing his forehead and oh god is it sexy. You realize you have a forehead kink, if there is anything as such.

If you weren't in love with him before you are now.

He looks ravishing, and you wonder why it isn't illegal to look this good. It should be because you have completely lost control over yourself. Nothing exists in your world except for him and you feel paralyzed, unable to do anything but drink him in. You wonder if you are even worthy to stand beside him.

"____?" Seungcheol calls you, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes. He must have been calling you while you were eye fucking him. "Oh! Um, hi." You're flustered. "You- you look really, really nice." It isn't enough but it's what you can get past your lips. A knowing smirk kisses his lips before he teases, "Well, you look really, really nice too." Motioning you to his car he says, "Shall we? We'll be late for our reservation."

"Yeah, of course," you say, hurrying over to his car, embarasssed at your foolery. Seungcheol must have noticed you ogling him like that. But you don't really care when he looks like that. It is his fault for looking so devilishly handsome and idly you wonder if he did that on purpose. If he's deliberately teasing with, trying to make you the most miserable before letting you go with a slap of reality to your face. Pushing away those plagueing thoughts, you sit up straight and clear your throat as Seungcheol comes to sit beside you and brings the engine to life.

A decently long and quiet (except for the music from the radio) but not quite uncomfortable car ride later, Seungcheol stops in front of a really fancy and expensive looking restaurant just by the sea. You did not except him to take you to a high end restaurant, otherwise you would have put some more effort in your looks.

Feeling slightly out of place you quietly follow Seungcheol into the beautiful European styled building after he hands his keys to a valet. The interior is dripping with polished furnitures and extravagant chandeliers and marble floors as guests dressed elegantly have their dinner. As you look around the place in awe Seungcheol talks to the receptionist who then guides you towards a staircase that leads to a pair of large double doors decorated with gold which then, opens to a large balcony. In the middle of it sits a table with two chairs and an unceremonious gasp escapes your mouth as you realize this is where you will be having dinner.

The man from earlier takes his leave as Seungcheol helps you sit down before taking a seat for himself while you take in everything, overwhelmed with all your surroundings. Why did he put so much effort for a lousy and fake date?

"What do you think?" He asks with a smirk as he rests one of his elbows on the table.

"I'm overwhelmed," you reply quietly, honestly. He chuckles, "Well this place has really good food and a fantastic view so I thought it wouldn't bad for our last date."

Last date.

"It's really beautiful. I don't know why you did this but thank you, really," you murmur, eyes on the satin table cloth with intricate golden lining. Everything about this place is so pretty.

"Well, I decided it would be beneficial for me to extract words from you if you are wooed," his words have a teasing tone to it and his demeanor is completely different from last time, giving you a whiplash but you are not sure if he's fully joking. Before you can say that you are definitely wooed, a waiter appears to take your order and you leave the duty of ordering to Seungcheol since he seems to frequent this place. Prior to his leave, the waiter pours you Seungcheol's champagne of choice and then, you two are alone once more.

Reaching for the flute, you quickly gulp down the champagne to soothe your dry throat and to calm all your nerves.

Over dinner you talk about your uni and your parents back home and the farm they own. While Seungcheol mostly keeps quiet he doesn't ignore you but listens carefully, occasionally passing glances your way or commenting. He does not offer anything about him, which you expected and you don't ask any questions about him either. Instead you try your best to keep his interest in your words despite the lack of it from his side.

After a hearty meal of poached lobsters and wagyu beefs and creamy soups comes dessert; a chocolate orange mousse with spiced fruits and yogurt sorbet. You start eating your dessert in silence, the occasional crashing of waves filling the complete lack of sounds.

This location is truly magnificent and breathtaking, almost having a feel like you're in a fancy resort in a luxurious tropical island. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful place you have ever been, let alone have dinner at and you wonder if you would ever have the chance to visit some place like this had you not met Seungcheol. The man in question, continues eating quietly, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He looks lovely as always, if not more and you try to burn this image in your mind for you to look back at later. You want to ask him so many question, you want to tell him so many things but you're scared. Sacred if you do so this moment will break, scared it will annoy him and end your final date all too early. So you bite your tongue and finish your food as he does and after your plates are cleared away, you are served another expensive champagne as an end to your luxurious dinner.

Even though Seungcheol doesn't say anything, you assume it is time to spill the beans, to say what he has been wanting to hear from the beginning. You have teased him enough and it is time you give him what he deserves. Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth. "Me and Katelyn heard noises from the playground that night so we decided to check. It was pretty dark and we were tipsy but I recognized you and you were... beating someone up. We stayed there and watched until one of us accidentally made some noise. We were scared that you heard us so we ran. That's all that happened."

You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he listens cautiously, his sharp eyes trained on you. Gulping, you clench your hands together underneath the table, waiting for his reaction. There seems to be an eternity of silence as Seungcheol simply stares at you as if he's debating whether your words are true or not. It's torturous, awfully agonizing and when you can't bear it anymore you're about to speak but he beats you to it.

"I didn't kill him." His voice is quiet. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Somewhere in the back of your mind you believed it, you believed he wouldn't be cruel enough to kill someone just like that and as soon as he speaks those words you believe him, without a doubt, without a second of delay.

"I believe you." You whisper, holding his gaze. "That asshole deserved what he got. He shouldn't even be alive but I let him go. He's in a hospital now, if you are wondering." You nod quietly. It's scary how much you believe him, how much you trust him even though he is pretty much a stranger.

There's a moment of silence as you bask in his presence before he speaks, "____, men like me, we aren't the nicest people. But we are needed, the cops need us around. People like me do the dirty works for people like you so y'all don't face troubles. We do things in an unconventional way but that's just who we are. We aren't as bad as the rumours say but we definitely aren't someone you should be with." You open your mouth to protest but his sharp gaze makes you stop. "If you have not understood it yet, let me say it out loud. I am trouble. People like me is always bad news. Whatever we did until now, I hope you forget. That's the best, ____ trust me. I think we both got what we wanted so let's call it a night." Just like that, he stands up, not waiting for your reply.

You gawk at him, baffled as he pays the bill and starts walking away. Tears burn the back of your eyes and you bite your lip to hold them back. The ending that you had expected has taken place but you are having a hard time accepting it. Your subconscious reminds you that you deliberately got yourself into this even though you saw this coming. So there is no one to blame for it but you. Grabbing your purse, you stomp your way out of the restaurant and towards Seungcheol's car.

Seungcheol barely acknowledges you as you both get in the car and he presses the key to the ignition. You are fuming in your seat, his words and the way he dismissed you cutting you deep. His words come to you, I think we both got what we wanted. You want to laugh. How can he possibly think that? Is he really so stupid or is he deliberately ignoring your interest in him? You want to smack his perfect face, curse and scream at him but all you can do is sit still with your arms crossed as steam comes out of your head. Is he really not curious about your feelings? Does he possess none for you? Does these few days with you mean nothing to him? You have so many unanswered questions. Leaning back into your seat, you close your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

It feels like in the blink of an eye the drive to your place is over as Seungcheol halts his car in front of your apartment. He does not utter a single word, doesn't even spare a glance at you while patiently waiting for you to get out of the car.

Asshole.

You inhale deeply, trying your best to gather yourself together as you take off your seatbelt and turn towards him.

"Seungcheol?" Few seconds pass before he looks at you. Words are stuck in your throat. When your eyes meet his, you become mute, overwhelmed with emotions as your words die in your tongue. He keeps staring at you, not opening his mouth but waiting for you to speak. "Is this goodbye?" Your voice breaks.

"I believe we don't have any reason to see each other. We both got what we wanted," He says without batting an eye. You're left bemused, one step away from landing a slap on his face. How dare he say that?

"Do you really believe that?" Your words come out as an accusation. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought I have feelings for you! And I do! And my feelings have only increased since I first saw you. I want to see you again, Seungcheol. You may have gotten what you wanted but I didn't." Your fades into a whisper as tears burn the back of your eyes.

Seungcheol stays quiet, staring ahead, his brows knitted as if he's annoyed. "I promised you three dates, ____. And I gave you that. It's over. Your feelings? You'll get over them. It's better to be in pain for a while that be with someone like me."

"You can't say that! I get to decide for myself!"

"____," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "I'm a bad man. You should leave while you still have a good image of me. You'll get hurt because of me and I've caused enough pain to enough people. Just...go. Just forget me." You stare at him as frustrated tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn't meet your gaze but turns his head the other way. You are angry, infuriated and heart broken all at a time. Clenching your fists you inhale a shaky breath before reaching for him.

Before you can chicken out, you tilt his face towards you and quickly press your lips against his. Seungcheol seems to be shocked as a small gasp leaves his mouth but you don't let him push you away. Instead one of your hands come to rest on his thigh as he other cups his face to keep his mouth against yours. You kiss him with all you have left, pouring in every bit of passion and love for him as your tongues intertwine. By the time you are both breathless, Seungcheol gently pushes you back and peers into your eyes. "That's all I can give you, ____." He says, his voice the softest you have heard. You are broken into a million pieces and as much as your heart wants to cling to him, you suddenly feel tired, deflated like a popped balloon. Your emotions have drained you out and left nothing and right now, breathing almost seems too painful for you. Taciturnly, you grab your purse and step out the convertible. You hear another door shut behind you but you don't look back as your heavy steps carry you to the entrance of your building. When you are about to enter your apartment, you accumulate all your strength and courage to spare one final glance at him.

Turning around you see Seungcheol standing by his car, hands in his pockets, simply watching you. Even though your eyes are locked on each other, you don't see any emotion in them. He looks like the same expressionless, mysterious man you saw the first day. The man you fell in love with. Taking in his gorgeous features one last time, you bite your lip and turn away, forcing yourself to walk inside your apartment building.

Your chapter with Seungcheol ends here.

Epilogue

A/N : Okay so idk why this fucking app is being like this but it says I reached the maximum of 250 blocks but I thought tum1r didn't have a word limit?? Anyway so I've decided to break it up and put the rest of the fic in another post. Please click epilogue to read that.

Taglist: @koo-18 @shiningstar-byulxx @pcisonedhaos @happyvitamin @yoongischeeksluv @haluim17 @nayam14 @horanghae-gumanhae @cottonsthings @hotcheetosnorter99 @peekabooseoksoon @acapellaanna @amixoferrthang

[aliasimagines]

It Was You All Along // Dave Lizewski

requested by a lovely anon 💕

Can u write dave x fem!reader where reader Always had a crush on him but he kinda ignored reader bc of Katie but then someone popular asks reader out and he gets jealous and y/n dresses up super hot and he realizes he fucked up

word count: 1809

a/n: i hope this is close enough! ❤️ (i couldn't think of a different title but this one reminds me of Agatha All Along xd)

"Hey, Dave! My folks are gone for the weekend and I thought we could have an X-men watch party. Wanna come?" 

"Sorry I can't, I'm hanging out with Katie." 

"Again?" you ask a bit louder than intended,causing a few people to look at you in the hallway. You continue with a lower voice "Aren't you like, tired of all the lying? Like, what if she finds out that you're not actually gay, hm? Cause you know she will, eventually." 

"Why do you care so much?!" Dave says, clearly frustrated. 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"Oh why would I? Maybe because we have been best friends since diapers, you stupid asshole!" you say not caring if some students hear you or not, anymore. "But you know what, you are right. I shouldn't care. Go play pretend with Katie but don't come to me, crying when you end up getting your heart broken." 

"Don't worry, I won't." he snaps back. And you turn around and leave but not before flipping him off. You felt the angry tears rolling down your cheeks as you zigzagged between the chattering teenagers. 

You couldn’t  believe how Dave could be so blind! He only had eyes for Miss Perfect. Whom by the way, is a real bitch and would go back to ignoring Dave or calling him a freak if it wasn’t for his little gay act. 

Somehow you made your way over to the restroom and locked yourself into one of the booths.

Dave couldn’t even see you as a potential “love-interest”. Eventhough you were the one who always were there for him, you were always there when he called, running to him like a lost puppy. And he couldn’t even care less. And you hate him for it. But you hate yourself more for still liking him. 

It’s not like you can do something about it, if you could, you would have. But that’s not how it works, so you are just crying your guts out on the toilet trying not to think about Dave.

In all honesty, you have no idea how you made it through the day. You almost cried during biology but you caught yourself after a few lonely tears. You could feel Dave’s gaze on you but there was no way you would look at him. As soon as the last bell rang you were out of school, hurring past Tod and Marty, not being in the mood for them either.

The next day wasn’t any different, you didn’t hang with Dave, Tod and Marty like you normally do. You didn’t sit with them at lunch, instead walked over to the only empty table you saw and placed your tray there. You mounched on your food, completely unaware of your surroundings until you hear the chair next to you being pulled out. You look up to see Matthew Greendale, resident hottie of the school sit next to you. 

"Hey, sorry, it's not a problem if I sit here, right?" he asks. You eyed him suspiciously. 

"No, it's fine." 

It's fine?! You mentally scold yourself. You never even spoke to this guy, outside of literature in first year. Why would he sit next to you? 

"I didn't want to sit with all the other "popular jocks" he answered you unspoken question while taking a bite of his canteen-hamburger. “They’re fun and everything but it’s nice to get away from them sometimes.”

You think of your friends who are sitting a few tables away and you can’t help but agree with Matthew.

“Yeah, I feel you.” you say without thinking.

“Hey..We used to sit next to each other in freshman year, didn’t we? It’s y/n ,right?” 

You nod with a smile, honestly being surprised that he remembers you.

“Yeah!”

“I haven’t really seen you around a lot. But when I do you are always hanging with those comic book nerds.”

“Hey! Comics are great.”

He puts his hands up in a defense.

“Oh no! I didn’t mean it as an insult. Some comics are good, my little brother made read one last month. It was actually great.”

“What comic was it?”

“Oh, uhm..It was about some kind of blind dude in a devil costume.”

“Daredevil?” you ask with a giggle.

“Yes, that one!” he laughs too.

The two of you continue talking until the end of lunch break. He is surprisingly fun to talk to and he even offers to walk you to your next class after lunch. You had such a good time you didn’t even think about Dave, heck, you didn’t even notice him literally glaring daggers into Matthew.

“What’s up with you, dude?” Tod asks snapping Dave out of it. 

“Yeah, Dave. What the shit is going on with you and Y/N?” Marty asks too.

Dave forrows is eyebrows. Yes, what the shit is going on with the two of you? Every since yesterday's 'fight' with you he can't stop thinking. About how he spends most, if not all of his time either with being Kick-Ass or, rather with Katie. It used to be different. He spent every second with you and he just threw you away so he could maybe get laid. And sure, Katie may be hot as fuck but she is.. Well, she is not you. 

"We had a fight, yesterday. I.. And she was right." he explains with a grimace. "But why the fuck is that Greendale asshole is with her?" 

"You jealous or something, dude?" 

"Wha- Of course I am not jealous! Why would I be? You guys are nuts." 

Jealous… The word rolled around in his mouth like a new flavored milkshake he never tasted before. 

Could he be… Jealous? He never thought of you that way, you were always his best friend. Just that. But.. The more he thinks about it the more he can't stop that twist like feeling in his stomach. 

That night he can't focus on crime fighting. All his thoughts are tied to you. Whether he likes it or not, memories of you keep popping up in his mind. How didn't he notice your beautiful smile before? And your laugh? It's like a beautiful melody. And… Gosh! When did he become such a sappy teenager? Oh and another thing.. He kept trying to think of something else, anything else like Katie for example but he doesn't care anymore! 

Dave goes home early with a frustrated growl. The remaining hours of the night he spends with tossing and turning and daydreaming instead of sleeping. 

(the next afternoon, Atomic Comics) 

Dave bangs his head against the wood table once again. A tired groan leaves his lips when he hears Tod almost choking on his iced coffee. 

"What the tunk, Tod?" Marty and Dave ask almost at the same time. The dirty blonde haired boy keeps pointing outside the huge window that they are sitting next to at Atomic Comics. 

"Is that fucking y/n?!" 

Now all three of them look outside the shop and see you, all dressed up nad seemingly waiting for someone. 

"Holy fuck!" Dave whispers. He stares at you, with his mouth a gap before jumping up from the booth they were sitting at and rushing outside the store. 

"Y/n! Y/-" he yells almost tripping on thin air. 

"Dave?" you question, quickly turning towards him. Damn, you missed him. No! Yeah, you did… "What do you want?" 

"What do I- What, can't I talk to you?" 

"If you wanted to talk you would have in these past days!" you say. Yes, you might have missed him, but it's not like you're gonna show it. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am waiting for my date to show up." 

"Your.. Your what, now?!" 

"My date" 

"You can't go on a date!" 

"And why is that, Lizewski?" 

"Lizewski? Really, you're calling me by my surname? Are we in such a bad place right now?" 

"I don't know, you tell me. Are you going to tell me what i can and can't do, hm?" 

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…" 

"What, it's fine when you say it but when I do it with you about Katie I'm the bad friend?" 

"No,it's just-" 

"Sorry. Matt's here." you point to the street across the road where you saw the boy walk towards you. "I gotta go." 

You start walking away but Dave grabs your wrist. 

"Please, don't." he mumbles. 

"Why not?" you snap at him but your expressions soften upon your eyes land on his saddened face. 

"I- because I don't want you with him. O-or anyone." 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"What?" 

He took a deep breath before looking around. Matt was waiting patiently by the traffic light so he could cross the road. Dave quickly began explaining. 

"You were right. About Katie. I was such a dickhead, I am so sorry, y/n. I am sorry for ignoring you over her and and.." from the corner of his eye he sees the traffic light turn green. "Shit! I don't want you to go out with Greendale cause I.. Because I like you. Like really fucking like you. And oh my god you look so fucking hot in this outfit, not that you're not always hot but holy shit. I know we are just friends and you don't think of me that way but I ju-"

"Oh my god! Do you ever shut up?" you yell before pressing your lips to his. Dave stumbled back a little, but quickly recovered and kissed back. Your hands cupped his face and his hands grabbed your waist in response. You both tilled your heads, deepening the kiss earning loud knocking from Marty and Tod as they watched the whole scene through the window. Not that you noticed any of it. You didn't hear the passing by car honk at you nor the yells or whistles. You also did not notice Matthew walking away with a sad smile after seeing the two of you. Your touches intertwine and you're pretty sure you heard Dave moan slightly which causes you to giggle into the kiss. You both pull away gasping for air. You look down at your shoes, hoping to hide your flushed cheeks. Dave scratches his back and looks around nervously only to see his two idiotic friends making kissy faces. He lifts his middle finger for them before clearing his throat. 

"So.. Khm.. I guess you like me too?" 

You let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah, I do." you say looking at him with a smile.

"That's.. Fuck. That's great." he replied genuinely happy. "Wanna get out of here?" 

You nod and you take off. You take Dave's hand and he intertwines your fingers with a smile. Maybe he is truly a superhero. He helps people and he gets the girl of his dreams. The happy ending. 

Dave Lizewski taglist : @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff

[stayevildarling]

Audrey Tindall x Reader - Chasing you

word count: 6k

warnings: drinking, cursing, mostly sad , fluff, and a little bit of angst

A/N: Reader is Audrey's best friend and watches her marry someone else. Happy ending :)

Taglist: @lunaticwhittaker, @rainbow-hedgehog, @mrsdeanhoward, @alexajbitar, @in-cordelias-coven, @kenzbro, @loverofallthingssarah, @twistedpoeticjustice, @minaslittleone, @lilypadscoven

gif credit: @billiebeanhoward

You jolt in your seat as you hear the sound of someone knocking on your door, somewhat impatiently and you roll your eyes and sigh because you aren't in the mood to see anyone right now.

Walking towards the door, you realize that you are in no state to open the door to anyone, as your hair is in a messy bun and you are wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt and some underwear.

As you reach the door you hope it's maybe just a delivery as you are not in the mood to see anyone after spending this week mostly on your sofa, the only things keeping you company, your TV, cat, and wine.

Slowly you open the door and hide behind it a little in case it's someone that you really don't want to see like your landlord. To your surprise, it's not the usual grumpy fellow, bothering you about the heating again, it's the woman you have been actively trying to avoid for this past week.

''Au- Audrey?'' you stutter slightly, not expecting her to just drop by announced and also thinking she wouldn't want to see you again after the last conversation you had with her.

It's impossible not to take in the blonde's features and you notice the little bags under her eyes and how tired the usual ray of sunshine looks. There is something else in her features that stands out to you however and it's desperation maybe? You haven't seen her this fidgety before and you can tell without her saying anything yet, that there is something on her mind that she is dying to share with you.

''Y/N I- can I come in please?'' the blonde asks and you nod your head and open the door a little further, letting her walk into your apartment as she knows it well already anyway at this point. As she walks into your living room and towards the sofa, you can't help but think back to the last conversation you had with her and the months leading up to it.

The last few months/years:

It seemed like everything that had happened within the months before Audrey showing up at your door, was leading up to that exact moment. Audrey Tindall has never been a stranger to you. The two of you had known each other since school and even though there were the occasional breaks in your friendship, where either one of you would move away or chase a job or dream that would cause you to pull apart a little, in the end, you would always find your way back together again.

After graduating together, you didn't see Audrey for almost three years. You kept in touch with her, occasionally texting her or commenting under her Instagram posts but it was more casual. She was like a distant stranger to your life and although she wasn't actively a part of it, she remained in the circle of people close to your heart.

It took a move from your hometown into the big city to see the blonde dork again and it happened at the most unexpected and random moment possible.

Some friends invited you to a bar and you actually really looked forward to going out again, after devoting the last few weeks including weekends to your new job and managing to get settled in your apartment a little better.

For the first time in weeks, you actually got dressed up in the nicest outfit you could find, doing your makeup and hair. You felt confident that night and also like your worries and troubles throughout the week, like upcoming deadlines at work, the lack of sleep mostly, and a few other things on your mind just simply didn't exist that night.

You danced your heart and soul out on the dancefloor, especially excited when one of your favorite songs would start playing, the alcohol and constant refilling of drinks, making the night a lot more fun but not helping with the hangover that was going to hit you in the morning.

After many hours of dancing and a lot of tequila shots and drinks, you went to the bathroom to freshen up a little, unaware that you would soon be running into the same little ray of sunshine, that you have missed ever since she left your old hometown to pursue her acting career.

As you entered the bathroom, you saw a little group of people by the mirrors, taking selfies and giggling while almost spilling drinks all over each other. You walked past them, in an effort to get into one of the stalls when one of them suddenly bumped into you.

You heard giggling and just as you turned to look at the person you heard the same voice, that you had missed and not heard in a long time. ''Oh my god love I am so sorry'' she said slightly slurring her words and in her usual adorable accent.

''Y/N?! holy shit'' she almost shouts as she finally turned to actually look at you. She held out her hand to help you up and just after taking it, you felt her lifting you off the floor and pulling you into a tight hug.

''Audrey Tindall'' you say and smile, hugging her back as tight as possible because you missed being in the blonde's embrace. After pulling away, her friends looked at you two a bit dumbfounded and she wrapped her arm around your shoulder, pulling you even closer and she started explaining.

''This my friends, is my great friend Y/N and I haven't seen her in forever'' she said, pointing her finger up, as she was trying to lecture people and you couldn't help yourself and chuckle at the adorable sight and drunk Audrey.

Vaguely you remember the many times that you and Audrey got drunk together, at school parties and you also remembered the many times you got so shit faced drunk together that you had no knowledge of how you actually got back to your dorm rooms, the only things you remembered the number of drinks, by how bad the hangover would be and the random memories coming back of kissing Audrey in a bathroom stall, completely drunk.

For the remainder of that night, Audrey invited you to spend the rest of the night with her and her friends and you got to know her best friends and also her boyfriend Rory. The clubs closed soon and you got even drunker, which you definitely regretted the next morning when you woke up in an unfamiliar apartment.

You woke up to the sound of snoring and you found Audrey asleep next to you on the sofa and a few other people you remember vaguely from the party last night, all sleeping on the floor. You smiled as you saw the blonde, sleeping so peacefully and your heart fluttered a little for the first time again since not seeing her for a long time, that morning.

You knew that if you wanted to get over this hangover and go back to work the next day, you would have to get into the comfort of your own bed, so you sent Audrey a text, her phone number still the same as before and you left, taking a taxi through the city and to your apartment, hoping this wouldn't be another one of those occasions where Audrey would disappear out of your life.

Much to your surprise, Audrey called you that same day, her voice sounding sleepy and slightly raspy from the hangover and she caught up with you over the phone. It was a five-hour face time call, of you and her simply chatting and catching up on what had happened in the past few years. She told you about her career and that she finished acting school a while back and that she had a few roles coming up. She also told you about her dating life and her and Rory meeting and she couldn't stop gushing over him on the phone.

You told her about moving to this city, your new job, and also the things she had missed in your life and despite not speaking for years it felt like your friendship never stopped and it was only a little pause, life putting you both on different paths.

Meeting Audrey at the party again and you both now living in the same city, seemed to only bring your friendship closer together. It didn't take long for you and Audrey to hang out again and properly catch up. You still remember going to lunch with her that next day during your lunch break and you realized that not a lot of things had changed. She still has the same adorable smile that would light up your entire world and her jokes, sense of humor, and accent managed to make you smile every single time and cause these little tingles in your heart and your cheeks.

As life carried on, seasons changing, you and Audrey stayed part of each other's lives. You would often have girls' nights together, going to the movies, lunch or you would take her to sets and auditions, supporting her on every single important step and being there through every success or little setback.

The blonde British woman became a permanent part of your life again, even though she never lost the place in your heart in the first place. Things went great until there was an event that seemed to change everything and you still remember the day as if it was yesterday, despite it being nearly one year ago now.

It was a Sunday afternoon and you looked forward to the lunch date you had with some of Audrey's and your friends and as you walked into the restaurant, she stood there looking gorgeous just like she usually would, wearing a  beautiful dress and even though you tried to hide the way she makes you feel for so long, at that moment you couldn't hide anymore, at least not to yourself.

''Audrey what is this?'' one of her friends asked and pulled her hand closer and Audrey blushed, retrieving her hand back and blushing even more in the process.

''Rory.. he um proposed'' she said, blushing and averting your gaze and you stood there, the words repeating in your head over and over again. Quickly you composed yourself, forced a smile, and hugged her, congratulating her like a good friend would, even though deep inside it killed you to watch the girl of your dreams marry someone else.

Of course, you stayed a good best friend to Audrey, helping her with the wedding planning, picking dresses, and being a bridesmaid. You supported her every single step of the way, always pushing back your own feelings, caring more about the blonde ray of sunshine, than your own feelings and the toll this situation has had on you and continues to do every single day.

You often thought whether you should have spoken up, especially on the day of their wedding, you watched her say Yes to the man she had fallen in love with and you regretted it for a second, before pushing the thought away and congratulating them as a good friend would.

There was the day after hen night when the walls that you had built up high over the past few years, seem to crumble, and even if it was just for a moment, one conversation with Audrey you often regretted not speaking your mind further.

''Audrey are you sure about this?'' you blurted out as she was getting ready for the rehearsal that day and you helping her.

She turned to look at you while putting on her dress to make sure it still fits, even though you had told her that of course it will still fit but the adorable blonde kept overthinking her wedding dress wouldn't fit just days before the wedding.

As the blonde looked at you, she realized you weren't joking at that moment and she realized that you were averting her gaze. ''Of course, I am sure silly, I am gonna get married'' she replied with the biggest grin and moments later cracking jokes about the wedding and her being the happiest bride.

But there was something in her features that you noticed, just as she turned around again to adjust the dress, but you saw her reflection in the mirror and there was something in her features. Hesitation and Doubt.

You were on the verge of speaking up, asking her again whether she was truly sure and that there was still a way to get out of this because deep down you never believed in Rory and that wasn't just due to your own feelings for Audrey. But you stayed quiet, not wanting to ruin their moment, not wanting to cause an argument.

So you stayed quiet, you tried to ignore the way you felt when seeing Audrey or ignore how her captivating smile kept you up at night, random moments like her drunk kissing you in a bathroom stall would keep you up at night and confuse you.

''It's just what friends do, she was drunk'' you kept trying to tell yourself, reminding yourself that Audrey could never feel the same way for you, that you aren't more than just any other friend to her but you couldn't possibly seem to forget the last time one of the drunk kisses had happened and especially considering the night it had happened.

It was hen night, you and Audrey's best friends had everything planned out. First walking through the city to a club that you had booked the lounge area for the night and even inviting a stripper as you knew Audrey would absolutely love that.

You watched her have the time of her life that night, dancing her heart out on that dance floor, ordering drinks at the bar or a good looking dude sitting on her lap in a police uniform, and even though she could hardly stay serious throughout it all and made the whole club laugh, she managed to make you smile and cause for your heart to melt.

''Y/N come to the bathroom with me, will you love?'' she slurred her words and you had to balance her so she wouldn't fall over or hurt herself in the process.

The two of you stumbled into the bathroom stall, she leaned against the wall, fiddling with her little purse until she found her phone. She almost couldn't unlock it but she did and she opened her front camera, smiling like a dork and pulling you closer. ''We need to save these memories, luv'' she told you.

You smiled into the camera and watched her take the selfie and even though you were almost just as drunk as she was, you seemed to be more aware of what was happening.

After she put her phone away, you suddenly found her charming face very close to your own. You felt her warm breath on your face and the next thing you felt were her plump lips on your own. You froze for a second as she actively leaned into the kiss first but you were madly in love and drunk so you didn't stop it and you let her consume you.

She swallowed your heart at that moment and even though it was all fun and games to her, she had no idea what she was doing to you at that moment and how that kiss would linger on your mind forever and cause this heartache within you.

You still remember after she pulled away, her face scrunching up a little and she had the same little grin on her face as she played with your hair softly and whispered ''You are so pretty Y/N'' before pulling you out of the bathroom stall and back into the crowd for more partying and drinks.

On the day of her wedding for some reason, the kiss never left your mind, not when they exchanged vows when they said ''Yes I do'' or when they kissed and sealed their marriage.

After their wedding, there was a time when you didn't engage with Audrey as much. It was due to many reasons, mostly Audrey being away on a honeymoon with Rory, a lot of acting and her being all over the globe to film afterwards.

For some reason, it gave you a little form of relief to be away from her for a while, not to see her adorable features almost every day and not hearing her voice, as it mostly only caused for your heart to ache.

You managed to somehow send the uncomfortable feelings away, carrying on with your life because in those months you realized that you did have a life away from Audrey and there are things that bring you joy, besides being near the blonde. Often you would go out with friends and start enjoying life again, working a lot and focussing on yourself and taking care of yourself.

However, there was always this hole in your heart, it was like a constant dull pain in your chest and whenever you would think of a certain someone, it would make itself noticeable, as you would feel a skip of your heart and sharp pain. Audrey was like the only thing that seemed to be able to fill the hole and empty feeling but you started realizing she will never be able to give you what you desire.

You saw her again about two months later after she returned from filming abroad. Throughout that time she would occasionally call or text you and you would check in but life was busy and you respected that.

She called you one night and told you about an award, one of the shows she had worked on had been nominated for and you were buzzing. Everyone was talking about it, people at your work, Audrey of course, and also your shared friend group.

You all planned to go to the award show together to support her but somehow everyone was busy that night, either work or their families keeping them from the awards but of course, you made it. Audrey sent invitations around but you didn't tell her you were coming yet because you wanted it to be a surprise.

The moment you both saw each other again after two months felt magical and it seems as if the picture is somehow burnt into your memory. She wore this gorgeous green dress and everything looked stunning about her that night.

As your eyes met hers from across the room, everything seemed to stop for a moment, the room going dead silent despite it being full of people. Her brown eyes locked with yours and instantly a smile spread across Audrey's face and you couldn't help but smile as you saw her run over to you mouthing the words ''Holy shit you came?!''

Her arms wrapped around yours and it seemed like the emotions hit you right in the face again, your stomach fluttering and your tongue getting tangled as you felt like you couldn't form any words. Finally, as you pulled away you managed to swallow the lump in your throat and smile while mumbling ''Of course I came''

Proudly you sat in one of the first rows after she insisted you sat with her and you cheered her on as the tv show she was nominated for, won the award. You watched proudly as she walked on the stage with her co-stars, giving her speech and holding up her award proudly while pulling faces at the camera and making the crowd chuckle many times and your heart flutter just as much.

That night, both of you danced your hearts and souls out on the dancefloor but you noticed there was something wrong with the blonde. Her smile wasn't as bright as it usually would be and her jokes seemed forced as if she was trying to cheer herself up.

''Audrey is there anything wrong?'' you asked as the two of you sat in a parking lot of a fast food place that night, slightly tipsy and Audrey's award still resting in her lap as if it was her most precious possession.

''He didn't show up'' she sighed and avoided your gaze. Only at that moment you actually realized that her husband Rory indeed wasn't there. For some reason, you didn't even notice until she mentioned it and you assumed he was filming somewhere.

''Where is he?'' you asked a bit dumbfounded, not knowing what was really going on in their marriage, after only a few months already.

''Well, I don't fucking know, apparently filming with Brad Pitt or some shit'' she snapped and this took you by surprise because she usually isn't like this, apart from if she is mad at someone messing up her coffee order or seeing her mortal enemies somewhere and ranting.

Unsure what to do, you do what you normally do which is cheer the blonde up and it wasn't that hard considering you sat in a McDonald's parking lot, so some ice cream and taking her home to watch movies and drink wine, did the trick pretty well.

That night she told you in tears that he had been absent lately, always filming, not reaching out a lot and for the first time in a while, you noticed how insecure Audrey really is under all the jokes, smiles, laughter, and dorkiness. ''What if he will find someone younger than me, prettier than me?'' she hiccuped and it broke your heart to see her this vulnerable and insecure.

At first, in the months following you thought that she was being slightly dramatic and reading everything wrong but something in your gut told you, she was right. You noticed the day Rory pulled away from her, hardly there for her, and how he would always seem so nervous whenever he was actually there.

It made you so angry and caused your blood to boil because if he was going to hurt Audrey in any way, there was no way he wouldn't get hurt in the process. Every time you looked at him, sitting across from you at the dinner table in some fancy restaurant the friend group picked, you watched him crack jokes and make Audrey smile in front of everyone but you were the one who had to pick up the pieces after their fights and dry Audrey's tears.

It took Audrey a while to understand and accept the ultimate truth, that his intentions got lost somewhere along the way and she only took the courage to actually leave him after she learned the painful truth of him cheating on her with some younger actress that he met while filming his most recent film.

The blonde lost a piece of her happiness that night when she found out and drowned her sorrows in drinks on your sofa. Her smile was completed vanished and his cheating seemed to confirm Audrey's insecurities even more to the usual ray of sunshine.

With all the strength you had left in you, you helped Audrey through those awful months of the divorce, trying to keep the media away from everything as much as possible, help her avoid paparazzi, questions, and help her rebuild her stability and get settled into the acting business again.

She managed to do it in the end, acting again, explaining in interviews what had gone wrong without throwing Rory under the bus and you admired her for that and how noble she was not doing that and exposing him for who he really is. You drove her to auditions, visited her on set, brought her flowers, and slowly rebuild her confidence again and you brought her smile back.

You did all of those things without any wrong intentions as you always knew and understood years ago that Audrey would never love you in return, the way you love her. The only reason you did and continue to do it every day is that you love Audrey more than yourself and you would happily give your life to prove that. Audrey's happiness became the priority of your life long ago, whether you two were still in school, after reuniting at the bar that one night or after her marriage crumbled.

However, you noticed that there was still something off with her. No one seemed to be able to look behind the facade but you had known her long enough to figure it out quite quickly. So one night you had to approach her about it and that seemed to be the conversation that caused a break and ultimately you believe you wouldn't see her again despite her showing up at your door ultimately.

''Audrey what is it?'' you asked her as you two ate dinner together like you usually would on Friday nights after a long working week.

''What do you mean?'' she asked dumbfounded with her usual precious smile.

You sighed heavily, knowing this wasn't going to be an easy conversation. She looked at you concerned as she could quickly tell something was on your mind and bothering you.

''Audrey I can tell you know, that something is going on'' you started and she instantly avoided your gaze, indicating that you were right all along and that you didn't read anything wrong at all.

''I don't know what you are talking about Y/N'' she mumbled before looking out the window and wanting this conversation to be over but you had different plans.

''Ever since Rory you have been different, you don't smile the way you usually do, and darling I don't blame you but at least be honest and don't pretend to be fine and like something isn't clearly causing you pain'' you pleaded with her

''For fucks sake, what do you want me to say hm? that I hate looking at myself, that I hate how he chose some other chick over me, someone younger?!'' she shouted, tears building up

''Audrey-'' you tried but you used the exact words that only managed to add salt into the wound and so the blonde can't control herself from letting the words just spill from her mouth

''I am not pretty enough, not young enough for anyone, god knows how I manage to get people to hire me for roles'' she shouted in frustration and started pacing back and forth the apartment

After a moment and letting her calm down, you approached her and you took some steps towards her ''Audrey you are none of those things, you are so beautiful and age doesn't matter I promise you''

She looked at you conflicted as a tear streamed down her cheek like a small part wanted to believe you but the wounds that Rory left were too deep to allow that.

''How would you know?'' she whispered and you locked eyes with her before whispering ''Trust me I do Audrey you are the most beautiful and precious person I know'' you confessed as your heart was beating out of your chest

''I don't mean that Y/N, besides you are only saying this because we are friends, no one could ever actually love me and look at me that way'' she sighed and avoided your gaze again

''But I do'' you whispered and instantly her head snapped in your direction, her lips parted as her breath got caught in her throat. ''I do know Audrey'' you added again and she looked at you with so much shock and conflicting that you worried she would even reply at all.

''We are friends Y/N'' she tried reminding you but mostly herself.

''Friends don't kiss each other in bathroom stalls for years Audrey'' you replied, feeling slight anger that she isn't even acknowledging you as someone who could see her for who she really is and her true beauty.

She turned to you in shock, her jaw-dropping and eyes searching yours as if she was trying to figure out whether you are being serious right now. With nothing left but embarrassment after your confession, you decided to flee and avoid the situation and the blonde altogether.

While you spend the last week mostly on your sofa, with some days off work and the only thing to do is cuddling with your cat, drinking wine and occasionally cry as your thoughts would spiral to the blonde and how you risked your friendship because of your stupid confession, Audrey was more conflicted than ever before.

Hearing you say those words hit her in the face like a wake-up call from reality and while she never questioned those bathroom kisses, your unconditional support for anything else but friendship, your words made her question everything.

She had always known about your affection towards the same gender and while she didn't give too much thought about her own sexuality, because she is more bothered about the person itself than genders. For the first time, she realized all the things you always did for her and how you were both such big parts of each other's lives but she never even questioned your own dating life.

Audrey would, of course, point out cute girls at parties or award shows but she missed you playing it down and always avoiding every question regarding your dating life and she realized that maybe all along it was because you had your eyes set on her. The more Audrey gave thought to your words and the last few years, the more specific things suddenly seemed to come to the surface and her subconsciousness reminding her of the little acts of love you had shown her through the years.

She suddenly realized that if what you implied was true and if you truly had feelings for her, that she wasn't just blind but that you always pushed those feelings away and you cared more about the blonde than yourself. As that realization hit her one night, it brought tears to her eyes how selfless and caring you are and she realized that maybe there was a reason Rory was never the person she ran to when she was upset or the person she shared her success with first, it was always you, your number saved as her favorites and she would always call or text you first.

Everything felt a little too much and overwhelming for Audrey in that past week, especially considering she couldn't talk to the person she would usually run to -you.

Her friends noticed the state she was in throughout that past week and of course, they noticed her whole facial expression changing when someone asked about you and why you aren't at their usual Wednesday dinners or joining them over the weekend. They asked if you had argued but the blonde pushed every single question away, needing some time to process things.

As she sat on her sofa tonight on this current day, she somehow couldn't sit still anymore and drown in thoughts and anger washed over the usual calm and dorky woman as she couldn't actually believe your words could be true in the slightest. ''She is messing with me, I am older and not that pretty'' her mind would tell her and as a result, she drove straight to your apartment, not just wanting to clarify things with you but also understand and fix whatever you two have.

Current evening:

You watch her walk into your living room and standing by your sofa nervously. ''Please sit down'' you mumble, feeling your heart, beat out of your chest by how unfamiliar you two suddenly seem around each other.

''Would you like a drink?'' you ask nervously, fiddling with the hem of your shirt as Audrey sits down on the sofa.

''No I am good'' she says and you smile as you see your cat snuggle onto Audrey's lap, her also having missed the blonde angel around in this past week.

''Hello Layla, did you miss me?'' the blonde asks and strokes her, and yet again you feel your heart flutter but quickly shake the thoughts away and you quickly walk into the kitchen, grabbing some sweatpants on the way and getting two glasses and some water anyway.

After you return there is silence for a while and you just scanning Audrey, the bags under her eyes now more visible as the light hits her but she still looks like the most beautiful person to you, regardless of those little flaws.

''Y/N I-'' she starts but in that same moment you speak ''Audrey I'm sorry'' you blurt out

''What for?'' she asks, scanning your eyes and features and her also noticing the little bags under your eyes and that you are slightly pale.

''I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable last week or -'' you start but she quickly interrupts you

''Was it true what you said?'' she asks unthinkingly

All you can do is nod, confirming your initial confession from the past week because nothing could have ever changed in that week. She is still the most beautiful person in the world, both inside and out and you would do anything to prove that to her.

''I'm sorry Y/N'' she suddenly apologizes which causes you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

Your eyes lock again and she walks over to the other end of the sofa and sits down next to you ''Y/N I never thought anyone could ever see me that way, think that I am not too old or ugly'' she whispers

As soon as that painful confession leaves her mouth, you feel the urge to cup her cheeks and reassure her it's not the truth. ''I promise you, you are so beautiful'' you whisper

''I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable and I am sorry if I did but I don't want to lose you or ruin our friendship'' you whisper and some tears build up as your throat goes dry.

''You could never ruin anything, luv'' she reassures you as she wipes a tear that streams down your cheek.

''The truth is Y/N in this past week I realized that there has only ever really been one person that has made me feel whole and complete, picked up all the pieces and cheered me up when I was a giant wreck or on the verge of making moronic decisions'' she jokes

You take a deep breath before replying ''I know and I am sorry that he hurt you in that way Audrey'' thinking she must clearly be talking about Rory.

Audrey chuckles a little and you lock eyes with her, confused about what could have possibly been funny in that statement.

''I wasn't talking about him silly'' she starts ''I was talking about you'' she whispers

Everything seems to pause at this moment, your heartbeat the only noise your ears can register and you find Audrey suddenly doing the same adorable smile, you often find her doing which makes you melt.

''Now I know we haven't drank but can I- can I kiss you?'' she whispers while biting her tongue in the process, causing her to lisp slightly and you blink a few times completely unable to comprehend her words at first.

''What now you don't wanna kiss me after all this?!'' she jokes and this causes you to snap out of your frozen state. ''I do'' you confess and lock eyes with her

And as both of your hearts beat in synch you finally feel her soft lips on yours again. It feels like a lifetime since the last time she had drunkenly kissed you at a party. Even though your head is racing with thoughts, unable to believe what is happening and what on earth you must have said for her to realize your feelings towards her, you simply feel in the moment and ignore those thoughts.

''Kissing you sober is even better than kissing you drunk'' Audrey confesses as her cheeks blush as you both pull apart, needing oxygen.

''It definitely is'' you whisper and you also find yourself blushing as you see a genuine smile on the blonde's features, sitting across from you.

''Only took you what 8 years to figure out?'' you joke and Audrey playfully punches your arms and rolls her eyes.

''But it was worth it wasn't it?'' she asks and you reply ''Chasing you? I would always do it again'' you confess as you stare into her brown eyes.

[dragonbugsuperior]

Adrien's Manipulation and How He Manipulates

As you can see, I have spoken about the things the ml writers have done and attempted to get away with however I never dug deep into how manipulative Adrien is and how he has manipulated people. I have provided real transcripts from the episodes. You can look it up yourself they're there for everyone to see.

In Malediktator (season 2, episode 24) Chloe threatens to leave Paris, Mr. Bourgeois gets akumatized into Maledikator; invested with absolute power, he wants to make his daughter's dreams come true so that she stays with him. In the episode, Chloe announces that she's leaving Paris to the entire school and the students are thrilled. They were celebrating the fact that their school bully was leaving Paris. Including Marinette, who was also relieved to know her bully/tormentor was leaving Paris. The same girl who's been bullying Marinette for years.

Here's some real transcripts from the actual episodes

Chloé: (from the helicopter, through megaphone) Hey there, losers! I'm headed to New York with my mom. (throws flyers) I'm leaving you all behind in your pathetic little school and your pathetic little city. Adieu!

(Marinette picks up a flyer showing Chloé in front of the Statue of Liberty.)

Nino: Chloé's leaving?

Nathaniel: Forever?

Marinette: Looks like it.

Alya: Yeah.

(Everyone jumps in the air out of happiness; confetti appears out of thin air and there are fireworks for no reason at all. Everyone, including Mr. Damocles, dances and parties.)

Marinette: Without Chloé around, Paris will be filled with a lot less negative emotion!

Tikki: And less akumatizations.

(Adrien walks up to Marinette from behind.)

Adrien: Hey, what’s going on here? What are we celebrating?

Marinette: Chloé’s gone! She’s moving to New York!

Adrien: Chloé left…? For good?

Marinette: (still excited, not realizing that Adrien is not sharing everyone else’s enthusiasm) Yeah! Isn’t it great?

Adrien: Uh… no. I think it’s terrible! How can you celebrate a thing like that?

There

There's the manipulation. Adrien guilts Marinette for being happy that her tormentor is gone. He guilts her for being relieved to know that her school bully is leaving Paris. Not only did he make Marinette feel guilty for feeling the way that she did. But the episode also deems Marinette as if she's selfish for feeling glad that Chloe is gone. While Adrien completely invalidates Marinette's feelings, and does not take into consideration that Chloe has bullied and made Marinette's life a living hell for years. Adrien knows Chloe has been bullying Marinette for years and instead of letting her feel happy that her bully is gone he guilts her and shames her saying that she shouldn't be celebrating something like that. Not contemplating the fact that Marinette has been bullied, shamed, taunted, and tormented for years. All because Chloe's his childhood friend and she was his only friend. He continues to support Chloe, and guit-trips Marinette for being happy that her life-long bully is finally leaving, because he doesn’t care about how Chloe torments everyone in the class or how she’s literally abusing Sabrina, all he cares about is how her leaving affects him.

In Glaciator Chat Noir imposes a date with Ladybug.

Transcript

Cat Noir: So, uh, Ladybug? What would you say if you and I met up tonight for a little dinner? Rooftop style?

Ladybug: For dinner? As superheroes?

Cat Noir: Well, uh, yeah. That's right. We're only together when we're saving Paris. I mean, wouldn't you actually like to get to know one another?

Ladybug: I... That's so thoughtful of you, but I can't. I have to, uh, I already have plans with some friends.

Bus driver: (steps out of the bus and shakes hands with Cat Noir) Thank you. (shakes Ladybug's hand) Thank you, Ladybug.

Cat Noir: Well, if your plans end early, come and join me.

Ladybug: We'll see.

Cat Noir: I'll be waiting, my lady.

(Ladybug uses her yo-yo and leaves. Cat Noir smiles at her for a moment before he leaves too)

Ladybug tells Chat Noir that she has plans with friends, Chat Noir still insists that she comes if her plans end early. Ladybug never says yes to him nor does she confirm she will show up while he says he'll be waiting.

Alya, Nino, Marinette, and Adrien were planning on having a date together, Adrien lies to his friends and tells them that his father said he couldn't go. Actively upsetting them and ruining their date, because 'Oh! Poor Adrien couldn't make it!. The thing is-

Adrien could have made it.

He himself, chose not to.

He didn't even inform his father about going out with friends.

Adrien never mentions going out with friends to Gabriel. He never tells Nathalie nor the Gorilla anything just so he could prepare a date with Ladybug, who also never confirmed she was going on the date.

[Next transcript is very important to read]

(Adrien sighs before he takes out his phone to text Nino. He then checks the time)

Nathalie: There's no point in waiting for your father, Adrien. He'll be eating in his office.

Adrien: (stands up from his chair, quietly angry) Then what's the point of keeping me here if he's never gonna show up, Nathalie? (walks away to go to his room)

Nathalie: Don't forget to practice your piano before you go to bed.

He doesn't tell Nathalie or Gabriel. He tells Nino that he won't be able to make it because his father wouldn't allow him to, yet Adrien didn't even see Gabriel because he was in his office the entire time.

Scene: Adrien's room.

Plagg: You could've at least grabbed the piece of Camembert on that platter!

Adrien: (tosses a piece of Camembert to Plagg and he catches it) Fuel up, Plagg. (He turns on some piano music from his phone. He then places the phone on top of the real piano) Adrien may not be allowed out of the house, but Cat Noir is!

Adrien's off to his date with Ladybug, which she never agreed that she would come, lying to his friends and telling them that his father wouldn't let him go out with them.

Plagg: You seem in a hurry to get stood up.

Adrien: She didn't say she wasn't coming.

Plagg: But she didn't say she was either!

This is also important to take in mind, it doesn't matter if she didn't say wasn't coming, she also didn't say she was coming like Plagg said. She told him she had plans with her friends.

Scene: Trocadéro. Marinette meets up with her friends

Marinette: Hey, Alya!

Alya: Hey, Marinette! (Both she and Marinette kisses each other's cheeks)

Marinette: Where's Adrien?

Alya: Don't get upset, okay? But Nino just got a text. Adrien's dad isn't letting him go out.

Again, Adrien tells Nino his dad won't let him go out. Lying and upsetting his friends, which automatically makes them feel bad because they're poor friend can't come out with them.

Marinette: Once again...

Nino: Yo, Marinette!

Ivan: What's up, M?

Mylène: How are you, Marinette?

Marinette: I'm fine. Thanks. Hehe. So, do you know where André is today?

Later in the episode, they have patrol

And this is what Chat Noir says to Ladybug

Ladybug: Hello, Kitty. Did the bad guys leave you cold?

Cat Noir: (harsh and enraged) How was your amazing evening with your "friends"?

(Ladybug looks confused at Cat Noir, shocked by her partner's harsh words. But she gasps when she hears Glaciator's voice.)

He gets passive aggressive and sarcastic with her. He's angry because she didn't show up to a date she never agreed to going on.

[Transcript]

Ladybug: Are you mad at me because I didn't show up?

Cat Noir: (furious) What do you think?

Ladybug: I didn't mean to hurt you.

(Glaciator jumps over them and continues walking. Ladybug and Cat Noir take shelter behind a car)

Cat Noir: And I also had a surprise for you, too!

Ladybug: I really am sorry.

Cat Noir: No... I'm the one who's sorry. Maybe another time.

Ladybug feels bad for not showing up. Ladybug shouldn't have to apologize for not showing up. She never agreed to going on the date and Chat Noir knows that. He knows she had plans with her friends and guilts her because apparently she didn't show up to a date she never intended on going on. While he was the one who gave her the cold shoulder the entire time they were fighting off Glaciator and acted like a 5 year old child.

The blatant manipulation

Chat Noir guilts Ladybug because she didn't show up to a date she never agreed that she would go on. Resulting in her feeling bad and apologizing to him as if she said she'll go. She never confirms she'll make it. She tells him she has plans with friends and they'll see. That doesn't equate to yes. Adrien lies to his friends and tells them he won't be able to make it because his father wouldn't let him go out, meanwhile Adrien never tells Gabriel anything about going out with friends.

In Syren

Adrien gets tired of all the secrets Ladybug had to keep from him and threatens to quit. Blackmailing Plagg threatening to quit as a superhero if Plagg doesn't tell him what secret Ladybug's been hiding from him.

[Transcript]

Adrien: (imitating Ladybug) Hey, Cat Noir, do you trust me? (as himself) Sure, Ladybug; do you trust me, too? (as Ladybug) Are you kidding? I will never trust you! Ha ha ha ha! (normally, to Plagg) You must know what Ladybug's hiding from me, Plagg.

Plagg: I'm just a kwami, Adrien, and we kwamis have a right to remain silent.

Adrien: Pity. (gets out his phone) Just when I was about to order you some very tasty cheese. Have you ever sampled La Trappe d'Échourgnac? It says here it tastes like walnuts.

Plagg: (swallows some Camembert) I can't be swayed, sorry.

He bribes Plagg with cheese to get information out of him about Ladybug

Cat Noir: Wait! Where're you going?

Ladybug: (hesitantly) I can't.

Cat Noir: (disappointedly) Say anything. Yeah, I know. But we are a team, aren't we? (turns away from Ladybug) I'm tired of all these secrets.

Ladybug: I'm sorry. It's not exactly easy for me either, trust me. (she leaps away while Cat Noir turns to see her leaving him)

(Cat Noir sits down on the roof to wait for Ladybug to return.)

He himself admits that he knows she can't tell him anything. He knows she's under restrictions and he pulls this.

Cat Noir: This is so dumb! (stands up) Claws in. (detransforms)

Plagg: (groans) What's taking her so long? (Adrien holds up his hands to Plagg, and starts to pull off his ring a little bit) Whoa, easy! W-What are you doing?!

Adrien: (grimly) If you don't tell me what Ladybug is hiding from me, I'm done!

Plagg: You can't do that!

Adrien: (bitterly) Why not? No one'll know if I quit. No one'll care!

Plagg: I will!

He blackmails Plagg, and threatens to let millions of people drown just because he wants to know a secret he isn't worthy of knowing.

[Transcript for Frozer]

In Frozer he gets rejected for the hundredth time

Ladyice: Cat Noir. We need to set up a trap for whoever turned the city into a giant ice rink. (throws yo-yo)

Icecat: (bitterly) My feline instincts prefer to track and observe before I attack. You go your way, I'll go mine.

Ladyice: Please don't tell me you're mad at me about the rose.

Icecat: There may be a certain chill now between us.

Ladyice: I get it, but we should really focus on saving Paris

Icecat: We don't always have to do everything together, after all. It's not like we're a couple. (skates away)

Ladyice: Cat Noir, don't get all pouty on me! (groans and takes off on her yo-yo)

(Ladyice and Icecat separately search for Frozer)

Icecat: (notices Frozer's skate marks on the ice) This way.

Ladyice: I need to set a trap, but what could I use as bait? (while Ladyice thinks, Frozer prepares to sneak up behind her, but Icecat spots him attempting to do so and pulls Ladyice out of harm's way)

Ladyice: Thanks, Kitty.

(Icecat winks)

Once again, he makes her feel guilty for turning him down for the millionth time in a row as if he doesn't know she's in love with someone else. Acting like an asshole the entire time they fight off Frozer.

In Copyat, Chat Noir arrives at a ceremony.

Scene: The Place des Vosges. The ceremony has just ended.

Cat Noir: These statues are amazing. One thing's slightly off though— I'm actually taller than Ladybug.

Théo: Ladybug didn't show up. I just wanted to express my adoration for her. Let her know that everything I had went into her statue. I'm sure if she took a little time to get to know me, she would see how much we have in common. Our devotion to the things we love.

Cat Noir: Hey, don't mean to burst your bubble, but you know, Ladybug and me, we're a thing, you know?

Théo: Really?

Cat Noir: Yeah, we're like this. (crosses his fingers)

Théo: (growls; walks away angrily) What does Ladybug see in him?

He lies to Theo about the relationship he has with Ladybug leaving Theo angry causing him to become akumatized.

Cat Noir: Better help the fellow out. His crush just got crushed. (under his breath, as he leaves) That makes two of us.

Théo: Ugh... What am I doing here? Ladybug?

Ladybug: I'm sorry I couldn't make it this morning, Théo.

Théo: Can you autograph it for me?

Ladybug: Of course I can! You've got some real artistry here. You've really captured my essence.

Théo: Thank you, Ladybug. And don't worry. I know about you and Cat Noir. It's okay.

Ladybug: Huh?

Ladybug is left to apologize to Theo and deal with the rest. Theo tells her not to worry, he knows about her and Chat Noir to which she reacts with utter confusion. Chat Noir lied to Theo, causing his akumatization not even facing consequences at the end nor apologizing to Theo, instead Marinette does all the work while being left confused.

Adrien is a lying, manipulative, and conniving person. He has manipulated his friends, Plagg, and Marinette. This is not okay

And the writers portray it to be while making Marinette look bad