#people binge reading my writing is soooo crazy to me

[dustyspines]

Hi :) just wanted to say i binge read all of summer of seventeen this week and I loved it so so much. The relationship between albus and ginny was so lovely to read. You can really feel the love and thought you put into it. thank you for sharing it!

oh anon!!!!!!! <3 thank you sooo much :') i really did pour my heart and soul into sos, i'm so glad the love i have for the characters and the places came across. thank you for reading it <3 have a lovely day!!!!

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

slides into your inbox

hi i uh. drank a sinister potion (dr. pepper) on the way to school this morning and the problem with perfection filled my head for the fiftieth time so. i'm here now. soooo uh, warning for a very crazy caffeine induced audhd rant. 👍

i just like.... kinda wanna let u know how much this fic means to me. like fr. like seriously. it means a lot to me. we've been mutuals for a while so i feel like now's def a good time (and a long time coming lmao)

iirc i found ur fic when i was in the danganronpa trenches in like, 2021/2022 i think? it was summer and i had nothing better to do with my free time and i was super bored and ishimondo was my personality and i found it while going thru ao3 and was like "yeah. this sounds cool"

and i did NOT know what i was getting into let me tell you. adored the writing really fast. ur skill level actually blew me the fuck away like. instantly. all the characters were incredibly in character, everything was so detailed and i LOVED the fact that you made your writing very emotion driven. like you wrote a lot with like, exaggerated punctuation and pauses and spaces and stuff that i rarely ever see but i feel like your writing was like, so much better for that??? its something i've started to use in my writing because it just draws you in so much and just. puts you into their shoes almost instantly. like it sounds like you're in their head. like i think like that (got that narrator brain in me) and it was just so cool to see someone write like that. got a lot of good moments

and i honest to god binged that fic because it had me by a chokehold. like i'm talking i barely got sleep because i was so excited to read the next chapter the next day that my body would wake me up earlier. and i'd pull it out and binge the next chapter. and when i got to a point where the chapters where still being updated, i remember checking like. every sunday night or so every week to see if it got updated. so many cliffhangers that i was not normal about..........

and i recommended it to EVERYONE i knew that was into danganronpa. like i did not care if they usually read fanfiction or not i would sit there and go on infodump rants about this gay fanfiction i found on the gay fanfiction site and ik i confused them but like. that was how good it was to me. felt like it was a real book. and not only that i honest to god felt like i was reading about me.

like the way you wrote taka meant and continues to mean so much to me to this fucking day because i rarely ever see characters that are like me, at least in an honest to god way. and i was already connected to taka and loved him but i think you made him feel like an extension of me in a way and it just like. idk. it spoke to me man. ik i sound dramatic but it did.

like an autistic queer kid with a strict parent being thrown into so many situations where you just automatically assume everyone else is watching you, judging you, based on past trauma and experiences and just. at the same time so emotional and passionate and just genuine for lack of a better term. and the panic attacks that were written i actually almost had some during reading it because i felt it. that felt like me honest to god (not a bad thing btw!!! i am ok!! but that's a compliment because that's how accurate it was!!)

and during a time where i was dating people who just. idk its hard to explain. i knew they cared about me but there were so many times where there were disconnects. sexuality and gender (gender's not really a part of the story ik but yk what i mean) was a big one. and i felt how he would feel when mondo wasn't exactly the best when it came to his behaviors and expressions of love.

and now i'm with someone who is like. mondo at all his best moments. and even when he matches mondo's lower ones it feels like, there's more times where we can do what they did in the fic and work through it. be there for each other because even if we're both fucked up yk we can like. work through it. and that's so cool honestly?? its not transactional, it means something. i've felt both sides and it's so. crazy to me. it's just wild.

and while i didn't read a lot of it (mental health was NOT in a space where i could i'm gonna be so real) the other installment, the one where mondo comes over to taka's house and they gotta hide and stuff? i've felt that. god i've felt that. my current boyfriend (also a trans man) and i have had so many times where we've had to act as "friends" and hide our romantic gestures and being so deathly afraid of getting caught yk?

idk this fic made me feel seen, and i wonder if there's like... anyone else that feels that way. idk i feel like their definitely is. and i just kinda wanna like. thank you for writing something that just. made me feel heard in a time when i really really needed it. even if we didn't know each other it felt so wild to have a stranger sit there and give me and indirect hug and let me know that i am not the only guy struggling out there with this stuff. it's changed the way i view myself and how i view the world and it's so cool to me that even fanfiction of all things can do that. that's nuts man. you did that and i really wanna emphasize that you should be proud of that. that's so cool. you're writing is so fucking cool man.

and also another thing i. love. that you also wrote about sex being a form of like. expressing love for some people. i am demisexual so like. seeing a character that seemed to also exhibit that and really only feel and have that strong attraction to someone they love romantically and have a connection with, and do it to let the other person know they love them. it's like. that's cool. that's so cool. i'm shaking you that's so cool /pos

and while i'm not fixated on dr right now (as you can. probably tell. (btw obligatory "watch lego monkie kid but also you do not have to i just wanna let you know its cool" plug because of Tha Autism(tm)), and while my comic i was going to make is on a very long hiatus bc adhd is beating the shit out of me, i really want you to know how much i appreciate this fic and how much it just. lives in my brain. how much it makes me emotional to this day because it spoke to me; some random dude who was just getting out of high school who fucking needed that really really bad. and also i want you to know how excited i was when we become mutuals and i'm really really lucky to have someone so cool as my mutual, and you've become even cooler in my brain now that we're kinda yk. in a vaguely similar circle.

anyways i appreciate you so much!!!! and even if we're in different fandoms and stuff, and even if tpwp is also not being continued/on a hiatus i still appreciate what you did with it, and what you do now. don't understand all the fandoms you post but i got that respect for it. i'm in the corner with pom poms cheering u on.

so um. yeah! that was long. but i'm hyped up on caffeine and neurodivergent so ujhm. yea. hopefully this made sense lmao

~ your very much not normal mutual tyler 👍

Okay, sorry for the late response, I saw this when I got up this morning and needed the day to figure how to respond because this was. So much (in a good way I promise!!!!)

So, first of all, THANK YOU FOR THIS!! It's easy as a fic writer to feel discouraged with your writing, or to feel like you're not as "good" as other people, and it's things like this that remind me that whether or not I'm a "good writer," what I write does matter to people. And that's just... really special to me, so thank you for writing this all. It means so much to me.

I'm glad you like the dramatic pauses and the way I write, though! When I was younger, I always tried to limit doing that sort of thing, since I knew it wasn't considered "good" or "proper" writing. But with TPWP I just... decided to let myself write how I wanted to write and not think too much about it. I wrote TPWP kind of how I think, because I wanted it to feel like it was Taka's thoughts and emotions, even if it wasn't in first person. And I'm really glad that came across!

I've always been really big into psychology and introspection, which is one of the main reasons I write about things like that a lot. I like to get into characters heads and try to figure them out. See what they'd be like if this thing happened, or if this thing hadn't happened, etc. I write about struggles, because I struggled as a kid, but in more quiet ways. I mean, all things considered I had a good life. supportive, loving parents and older brother, good grades, people generally liked me and I never got in trouble. But I was so determined to do well that I psyched myself out. I was terrified of disappointing people and losing what I had, and I crumbled in middle and high school. Luckily I had good parents so I was able to stumble through it, but it always left me feeling isolated, since I could never articulate why I felt so off inside. It wasn't until I took an "abnormal psych" class in college that I even realized I had intense anxiety.

All of this to say that I'm glad I was able to resonate with you through my writing. I could never find the words to articulate myself when I was younger, so I took to writing to try and connect with people, to get a message across. Most of my stories have some form of "moral" or "lesson" that I'm trying to get across, lessons that I had to learn myself growing up. TPWP's was that perfection is impossible and that you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Honestly, I put the most of myself into Taka, since while I never had a distant parental figure who wanted me to be absolutely perfect, I was kinda that figure to myself. I wanted so badly to be "perfect" and "the favorite" and when I wasn't, I freaked out. I shut down and couldn't even explain to my parents why. So, with TPWP, I wanted to let other people know that it's okay to just... be you.

I don't know if any of this is making any sense, sorry. I had a long day at work and my head is a bit jumbled. Mostly just... thanks for writing this. Things have been tough lately between school and work, and it's nice to be reminded that my stories do matter to people. I never wanted to be a professional writer, but I did always want to write something that made someone, somewhere, feel something. Hopefully something good, something cathartic.

Oh, and as for the sex thing... that was honestly unintended, ha. But I'm Ace, so to me, that's what sex is. Or what it should be. A way to connect emotionally with your partner above all else. Honestly, the only reason I wrote sex into TPWP was to explore the way it would interact with their friendship, not to be like... sexual, ha. Glad you liked how I wrote it!

Anyway, thanks again for writing this!! And I'm glad we're mutuals too! Yeah, I am part of some interesting fandoms on my main blog, but I'm glad it's not too off-putting, ha. I'll try and check out that show some day, though! I don't have a lot of emotional energy to get into a new show at the moment (as I'm sure some people can understand, since starting a new fandom can be a lot at times), but maybe once (IF) things calm down for me I'll take a look! I have seen a lot of posts about the monkie kid show, not just from you, so it's something I might check out one of these days. I'm mostly waiting for Our Flag Means Death season 2 to air tomorrow so I can get washed away into Pirate Town for the next month or so, while the episodes release. 😅😅😅

[1800titz]

Hi!! so after reading the teaser thing for spanko harry i had no choice but to subscribe to ur patreon (im very happy i did😁) and just wanted to say that u have such a special gift for knitting words together and creating something so pleasing to the eyes like I’ve never read anything that’s even close to the beauty of ur writing style

Cause to me there’s nothing better than reading words that stick together like honey and English isn’t my first language but i read quite a lot in English cause i just enjoy it sm especially in romance books and fics and I’ve learned so many new words from ur stories and sometimes i have to read some of ur sentences a few times to fully understand what u mean but like in a good way cause it’s not like lazy entertainment yk it’s like a challenge to my brain as well (which i love cause sometimes it gets tiring to read similar sentences over and over again)

And it’s honestly so fascinating how ur able to describe something so simple in such a unique and fresh way and im constantly in awe of ur mind!! and also im so so excited for part 3 of spanko harry cause the tension and chemistry between them was insane like i felt like i was reading something filthy while they were just talking and i was on the edge of my seat the entire time!! and the concept is so so good im actually going feral over him and the way u were describing his hands and the fact that she was just casually binging all of his videos and he must’ve heard her when it connected to the bluetooth😵‍💫😵‍💫

and also trivia harry was SO cute like the way he just made her watch baby monkeys while he finished his shift omg i am unwell and yn’s nervous rambling was soooo adorable too but okayy this is so long but just wanted to say that i love ur brain and appreciate the dedication u put into ur stories so so much and going crazy feral insane over spanko and trivia harry literally in love w them already <33

HELLO this is so unbelievably sweet 😭 Thank you so much for taking the time to send this in (because my favorite thing ever is in-depth feedback to my silly little fics and I’m glad that so many details stuck out to you!!). And thank you so much for subscribing :’) you guys supporting me through patreon literally grants me the opportunity to create more content because I’m more financially stable and therefore have more time to work on it, and it really does mean SO MUCH, I can’t even put it into words.

AND ALSO, this is so immensely flattering! I think, genuinely, my favorite compliment to receive is regarding my writing style because I know some people can find it tedious or difficult, etc, but it’s so much fun for me to become immersed in my own writing AS I write and use loads of metaphors and stuff so this is really, really sweet. Thank you 🥹 I hope you’re enjoying what I’ve got up on patreon right now, and I hope you enjoy what I’m planning to put up in the near future 🫶

[alpacaparkaseok]

do you have any fanfic recommendations? like your favs? or writers!! 👀

*inhales deeply*

I've been waiting for this.

*cracks knuckles*

OK so first thing first, I would recommend going to my side blog where I reblog fics, it's Seokjin's Bookclub and you can search it up or click on the link in my bio.

bUT I HAVE WRITER/FIC RECS!

first, my entire masterlist. tbh "Mine" is my most underrated fic I think and it's also one of my favs to go back and reread soooo yeah

here you go!

@dreamcatcherjiah - ok so Jiah is a gem and she's also SFW (I think most of these writers will be) but they've got awesome Idol aus/soulmate aus (I'm trash for Tight Hearts) they have a super fun, easy to binge masterlist!!

@moon-write - also SFW and if you like deep & angsty, go here. seriously. but also super comforting? super good characters/development and cool aus. (loving their on-going dad!BTS stuff: BTS as Fathers)

@holdinbacksecrets - if you want literal art to grace your screen, check out their works! tbh I'm binging their stuff rn and I'm in love. awesome ongoing thing that I'm trash for is Boyfriend Things which is a cool twist on the typical Tumblr writing layout that forces you to transport yourself into the little moments captured in each post

@junghelioseok - ok, gimme a minute. this blog isn't really SFW but they are so good at what they do and they're one of the first writers I followed here. Their fic Polaris left an impression on me that I've never forgotten, and honestly helped me decide that writing on Tumblr was worth the effort if I could touch people like Polaris touched me. they have a little follow-up to it that was literal perfection, Novae. be aware that Polaris has some smut, however it's fairly easy to skip over if you're uncomfortable with it and it's by no means pwp

@writemywaytoyourheart - I'm currently reading their current series, Aim for the Heart! This blog is SFW and lots of fun content to binge! Super sweet author (lol we've never really interacted but I've always respected them a lot) and you'll feel right at home on their blog!

@homeofbangtan - this is just beginning, but there's a whole lot of Hogwarts!BTS about to come your way! all of the writers involved (@delacyrose224 @sunshinejunghoseokie @mochi-molala @joheunsaram @joyfulhopelox & @ggukcangetit) are all super talented and have their very own master lists to binge! the first fic was dropped today: The Weasel and the Serpent, so be sure to check it out!! I mean, who doesn't love Slytherin!Yoongi?? I'll be dropping mine early next week for the collab, as well!

ok. that's all for now. I'll probably think of more later, lol. but, special shoutout to these writers because they're super talented as well and I've binged their entire masterlists and would gladly do so again:

@hyungieyoongi (literal angel and writes super relatable oneshots)

@dulce-pjm (super cool au's and sweetheart)

@shadowofahope (also really interesting ideas)

@jiminiesmagicshop (love their stuff!! super underrated)

@wtf-yoongi (chill writer, hits hard. esp. w/ Yoongi stuff)

AH @sierra-fics THANK YOU FOR LIKING THIS I KNEW I WAS MISSING SOMEONE AND IT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY (they're awesome!!)

nd yeah. If I forgot to mention someone, I'm sorry, I still love your stuff but my brain is mush now lol

[petroltogo]

I just finished flip a coin [head for villain, tail for hero] all in a binge marathon and OH MY GOD?!!?! OH MY GOD?!!?? oh my god?!!? It was just soooo goood !!!! It's such a beautiful read!!! You asked such intriguing questions and in the writing and it really showed that you really thought about the characters and what makes them tick and what drives them forward!!!! I really loved it sooo much!!! It kept me up until I had devoured everything you have posted in the series, even above my homework. It was just that good. Oh my god. I am never going to recover from this. Couldn't contain myself in enough words to write a comment on the fic itself, but when I reread it in the future, maybe I will have enough words, hahaha! Meanwhile I leave you this long ass letter of basically 'bestie, your brain!!!!!'

I'm sorry for taking so long to respond but I just had to keep this ask in my inbox for a while. Because every time I read it, it just makes me grin like a crazy maniac. Thank you so, so much for your kind words!!

It makes me so happy that people enjoy this 'verse even though it's pretty far removed from canon in a number of ways. [And not as much as we'd like it to be in others, I suppose.]

But yeah, the flip a coin 'verse is definitely one of my all-time favorite projects in terms of character relationships, development and growth. So messages like yours absolutely make my day <3

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 129

Despite the last couple weeks of work being profoundly exhausting (think 60 hours, easily), I am proud that I’ve been able to keep writing and stay ahead! I literally could not have done that without @baelpenrose, @charlylimph-blog, @the-raven-fae, and @anotherusrname. Y’all are my real-world rocks when everything gets crazy.

***Shameless Plug: @the-raven-fae has the first episode of the podcast up now! you can find it here!! ***

The other thing that has been keeping me going is each and every one of you who has found this story and binged it from start to finish as a speed-run. I can’t even name all of you at this point, but I want you all to know that I see it, and it makes me smile so hard my face hurts.

Now, who is ready for some Charly shenanigans?

A few days later, I had just enough time to sweep dinner off the table in my quarters before Charly unceremoniously dropped a long something in the midst of us with a dull thud.  Immediately, a rusty red cloud rose up and set us all into a fit of tears and coughing.

Out in the hallway, I was eventually able to convince my lungs to at least try to breathe long enough to wheeze out, “Geezus, Charly, what the hell was that?”

“Soooo….” Uh oh. “ItmayneedsomecalibrationthecloudwasntsupposedtobethatbigandIdidntmeanforittogooffbut - “

I shook my head and typed a quick message on my datapad. “Please breathe because right now I don’t think the rest of us can and I would love to know why.”

She stopped rushing out what I think were words long enough to read the message and try again. “Chili powder arrows. I think I need to recalibrate them, though, because it shouldn’t have gone off at less than one hundred and twenty kilometers per hour, and there’s no way I set it down that hard.”

“Why?” I rasped, still swallowing as hard as I could and mentally begging Noah to bring us some water or a medical transport.

“Defensive measures,” she insisted. “Scent navigation is really common in the Galactic community, and so is sensitivity to capsaicin, so…”

“Makes sense,” Conor managed to get out as he tried to gasp for air. “Even Noah.”

“Bit much.” I pinched my fingers as closely as I could without touching - which was more difficult than expected considering that I was shaking.

Maverick was the first to get up off the floor of the corridor, just as the medical transport arrived.  He and Charly helped us on before distributing bottles of water to rinse our mouths and eyes. “It was… a good idea…” he panted once we were all seated. “Just… bit overkill…”

“The range of the cloud is only supposed to be five feet,” she insisted fretfully. “And I swear the pressure sensor is supposed to be calibrated to only go off if it’s fired from a bow or swung really, really hard.”

“Who...want...swing?”  I was honestly starting to get dizzy fighting my airways to breathe.

Once we arrived at a medbay, Charly helped a couple of Miys’ bodies get us out of the transport and lying down in berths. In a glitch-like transition, suddenly I could breathe easily and she was joined by Arthur and Coffey in sitting with us.

“Wait… when did… I’m so confused,” I admitted, my voice only slightly strained.

“Lethe field, apparently,” Arthur shrugged. “You didn’t want to be awake for that.”

Conor sat up and rubbed his sternum. “I remember chili pepper arrows - Charly, love, that was brilliant except the, you know, going off bit - and getting off the transport.”

“Respiratory lavage,” Charly winced. “You know, war crime if done incorrectly?”

I shuddered and nodded. “Yep. Didn’t want to be awake for that, thanks.  Glad I can’t remember, don’t ever want to, would rather remember the pepper bomb you set off. At point blank range?”

She snuggled further down in Coffey’s lap as he gently rubbed her scalp with his fingertips.  Arthur spoke in her defense, instead. “She’s sending the schematics to Zach and Derek to find out what went wrong.  Tactically, they were a brilliant idea - she’s right about the large amount of species who would react even worse than you did if hit with one.”

“I only inhale spices figuratively.  I would prefer not to do it literally - like, ever again.”

Maverick sat up and gave Charly a curious look. “You said they can be swung… Unless I saw something wrong, the arrow was only two feet long.  Who would want to swing something like that?”

Coffey and Arthur both held up gas masks and wiggled them. “Between my arm reach and the length of one of those, I could do it, no problem.”

“We aren’t all so fortunate,” Arthur intoned drily. “Plus, that doesn’t mean someone closer isn’t getting hit.”

Conor raised his hand politely before pointing out a potential flaw. “What if they have gas masks?”

“Noah has a topical reaction,” I answered, my mind racing. “And I assume we have other measures in the works?”

“Multiple types of sonic weaponry are being tested,” Coffey intoned with a nod. “Sub- and ultrasonics, infrasound, and just loud music.”

Still in full Devil’s Advocate mode, Conor persisted. “And if they are covered, head to toe, and none of that works?”

A deafening silence filled the medbay. The prospect of being forcibly boarded had only been a known issue for a week, and apparently this prospect hadn’t been covered yet in the defensive planning.

Finally, it was Maverick who spoke up. Had anyone else been talking, we couldn’t have heard him, but in the quiet his whisper echoed like a gunshot. “The interior hull is organic, not magnetic.”

“Mav, we know that. It doesn’t help us.” Conor’s voice was confused.

Arthur, however, looked like he had just seen a travesty occur in front him, unable to stop it. “You’re talking about blowing the airlocks.”

I scrambled to sit up, clawing at the blanket that covered my legs. “What!? Maverick, he’s wrong, right? You aren’t talking about that, right?”

“It makes logical sense,” Charly added, still laying her head against Coffey’s chest. “If someone boards the Ark by force, and they have enough gear that no amount of defense we mount even bothers them, they would be wearing enough gear to survive being blown into space.”

“And they can’t magnetize to the hull,” Maverick confirmed. “Maybe the outside, but not inside.”

“What about Noah?” I demanded. “They are a non-combatant.”

“Noah evolved in vacuum,” Charly pointed out.

“You’re talking a war strategy!” I nearly shouted. “What about Arthur? Coffey? Or Ivan? Are you seriously going to tell me they won’t be the first people charging to defend the Ark?” I pointed at the previously brandished gas masks with a damning glare.

“We are talking about a last-ditch defense to save as many people on this ship as possible,” she whispered.  “I don’t make the decisions, I just make the tools they are going to use. You know, you know I don’t want us to use any of this. And I plan to booby-trap everything within an inch of all our lives to keep us from having to use as much of it as possible.  Hence, arrows. As many kinds as I can make up.”

I started taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. At my heart of hearts, I knew she was sincere - Charly was almost as much of a pacifist as I was, at the end of the day. Even Arthur wasn’t necessarily a warmonger, just… uninhibited in what he defined as ‘the best defense is a good offense’.

Frustrated, I swung my legs over the side of the berth. “I need to go home. I want dinner, and a nap.  Probably a drink.”

Charly reached out and pushed my legs back on to the bed. “You’re under observation for another hour. Dry-drowning risk.”

I groaned and gave her a pleading look. “I’m hungry, and this isn’t my bed.  It’s honestly half the reason I’m in such a bad mood. You and Arthur probably make absolute perfect sense to less-sleepy, fed Sophia, but right now, not so much.”

“Your limey assistant is bringing a change of clothes, your sister, and some food,” Arthur smirked. “So you get to stay right there,  not die, and get some sleep.”

“But Mac…”

“Is at Derek and Sam’s, but very nice try,” he confessed.

“I wanna go home,” I grumbled sullenly.

Maverick nodded, and gulped down some water Charly handed him. “Did someone turn on the scrubbers in there yet?”

Conor and I turned wide eyes to him. The thought apparently never occurred to either of us. “Charly love,” Conor started hesitantly. “How much bigger was the cloud than you thought?”

“I’m not sure,” she confessed, sheepish. “It was pretty big.”

Rubbing my face briskly, I suppressed the urge to sob. “My blankets… the furniture… our clothes…”

“Else is working on it.”

I glanced at Coffey, confused. “Else is? They eat iron.”

Noah’s voice broke in from the ceiling. “Correction. When still a bacterium, Else fed on iron. However, as they have evolved, their needs have expanded to include a more diverse diet.”

“Are you telling me that there are faceless baby chickens flooding our quarters, eating the chili powder?”

“They do show a preference for foods more toxic to the general Galaxy.  We estimate that this is due to their origin within human beings, who share the same marked trait.”

“At least someone is appreciating my hard work,” Charly grumbled.

I strained to suppress a smile. “I’ll make you whatever you want for dinner, for a week, to make up for being ungrateful?”

“Maybe just tell Alistair it was an accident?  He gets upset when you almost die.”

“Both?”

“Both. Both is good.”

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[rintaroll]

hi, i hope you’re doing well!! i love reading your content and everything you reblog, so i was wondering if you had any fic/ account recommendations?

aaa ok so someone asked me this a month ago but then i only told them to go through my following list which i unprivated,, now i realize i follow a lot of shitpost accs too HDJDNDK so here goes a few people that i can list off the top of my head rn (in no particular order) :

@luvnami -> its so embarrassing bc ive been a fan of her work since. forever. and now we're moots and my opinion hasnt changed i think ai's work is spectacular

@forgetou -> dee writes so FRICKIN WELL?? she can literally just write about someone eating a white rice and it'd still keep me on my toes

@kageyuji -> their work 10/10 so original and so well written. they never miss and their characterization. is just. mwah. perfect. and they post regularly too. talent? talent.

@amjustagirl -> similar to dee,,, i dont get how nikki just. writes about smthg so simple but makes you go HWKSHDKWNMSND??? choice of words are just so poetic it will make u emotional

@cafemiya -> the first (and probably last,, unless issy makes another one) 20 smthg k worded fic i've ever read in my entire life was issy's. soooo worth spending 2 hours reading + screaming into a pillow

@bellesowl -> my baby's blog is growing so fast and!!! deserve me thinks. very well thought out and planned works, execution is amazing as well mhmmm

@hajimine -> good writing. go follow. (/j lex writes so well and everytime they say its ugly i wanna waste 45 minutes just to drive over to their house and punch some sense into them (affectionately). their atsumu gatsby fic:)....)

@alouphen -> this specific work from lou made me fall in love w her writing. its written so. perfectly well... and its just. you can feel the emotions she describes radiating off the screen and its just <wonderful3

@neoheros -> DRABBLES!!! rue writes the best drabbles. you can go through her endless masterlist over and over again and never get tired of it. her angst hurts. her fluff hurts too but for those who are touch starved aka me

@velvetfireworks -> NO ONE DOES ANGST LIKE SUSHI DOES. i once read one of her fics and i had tears in my eyes when i finished. it hurts but it hurts so good </3

@babymattsun -> lexy's smaus are so funny SHJDNFK and they never miss!!! the boyfriend texts with mattsun were so 🥺🥺🥺 but then u get to the my girls got head game and ur giggling in ur room by urself like a crazy person (definitely not me)

@amourdite -> venus's stuff either cracks me up or makes me cry BUT her characterization is always on point yup yup. also has the weirdest headcanons but i dont wanna question it 😁

@sugawaaras -> ro HDJDNDK everytime i sprint with ro in the server its so funny bc ai venus and lore have progressed 600 words and ro's there with two (2). BUT!!! dont let this fool u. she has a way with words that have me feeling like a fish out of water. (?? like flopping without air on top of my bed... yeah)

some more writers that i need to binge when i have the time bc ive read at least one of their works and got hooked : @sunacity @rintsuru @luckytsumu @deardaichi @dearkodzuken @iwaizoom @sunasbabie @27kei @tetsurov @satorisbby @catzula @kei7ime @4iku

and of course plugging @/hqhangout bc theres so many talented writers there!!!

sorry if u didnt wanna be tagged in this 🥲

[134340am]

I saw a post on twitter that said “do you ever trust your A03/tumblr moot so much that you go through their reading list?”, it reminded me of you because obviously your writing is top tier and i totes trust you with my whole fangirl life,, following that logic would you have any of that fics that your binging atm? Thank you and i hope you are having a great day 💋💋💋

ahhhh this is so sweet! thank you so much, lovely 😭🤍

i'd be more than happy to share some recs! i haven't gotten around to doing a lot of reading yet because i'm still at work, but here r some recent faves (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ (i'm not q sure what you'd like so i've listed a variety - but feel free to ask me to narrow down if needed!)

million dollar man by venusianrose [ao3]

super sexy and sweet - i think this is a great read even if you're not an eremika shipper, the way OP writes will make you wanna ship it! it's just... pure affection and adoration dripping from their entire being for each other. easily one of the best fics i've read this year. the writing is very evocative and gripping.

shinsou hitoshi entered the chat by crossroadswrite [ao3]

top tier humour and adorable interactions amongst the 1A kiddos. OP is the queen of characterisation because everything feels so real, it's crazy! a light-hearted read that i visit on rainy days <3

cake, baby by chicoree [tumblr] [too scared to tag... again...]

i LOVE DENKI!!! soooo so so cute here and the banter is super entertaining and realistic. this fic got me blushing and screaming into my pillow and kicking my blankets... pls go read this (& the rest of OP's amazing masterlist!)

+ a fic i plan to read but i haven't: commas of care by ufo-ikawa [tumblr]

i think that's it for now? there are tons of other amazing fics that i'd love to rec here, but i just wrote a long ass report and my brane is half fried atm. do lmk what you think or if you have any further questions! ヾ(•ω•`)o you can also check out my fic rec tag for more cool stuff.

and as always, do remember to heed the respective writers' warnings, and leave them some feedback! it can be a simple ask, like "hey i loved a and b because of x and y!", otherwise, likes and reblogs are always appreciated because you're helping people find their next fic to read 😎😎

thank you again for asking, and for reading my writing too! (*^▽^*) please accept my kiss on ur forehead MUAH

[poguesgold]

how did you feel about season? i know most people liked it better than season 1 but i’m not sure how i feel yet🤔 might need to rewatch it

okay this ended up soooo long so i'm giving a tl;dr review here and if anyone cares to read my insanely long thought dump you can feel free. this part is spoiler free also!!

cons: i think they should have further developed the s1 storyline rather than conjuring up an entirely new treasure and conflict; i don't think they did the characters justice a lot of the time, particularly kie and jj; too much yelling and running not enough hanging out; the finale cliff hanger was a stupid writing choice

pros: cleo!!; pope-centric plotline!!!; amazing jjpope moments in the improv sequences; never a boring moment; rafebarry oh my god????; neck kiss shirtless wrestling holding hands standing unnecessarily close jjpope rot; just a straight up nine hour long adrenaline rush and i love that shit.

overall: i definitely did not like it more than s1, but i still REALLY loved it. i think it's worth the watch, just don't go into it expecting good writing or realistic injuries or a comprehensive plot LMFAO. what saves the season is the pogues' chemistry and their improv sequences, for real. and cleo. you WILL get angry about the shitty script and characterization if you’re really invested in that part of things, but as far as vibes and dopamine high it was awesome. it was a fun watch and i'll definitely rewatch at least once to soak it in properly

please this is going to be soooo long i apologize in advance. but i have a lot of thoughts. also ⚠️⚠️spoilers ahead!!⚠️⚠️

most of this review is going to be criticisms tbh so sorry for that but this show kinda sucks (affectionately<3)

i thought season 2 was an absolute TRAINWRECK as far as writing goes. jonas pate was basically like. this season we're going to have an even BIGGER and BETTER treasure!!! but the exact same thing is going to happen. like. we already had gold. and that's what they were going to the bahamas for at the end of season 1 for anyway????? it would have been so easy to just develop the original storyline further, i just cannot figure out why they would completely abandon it for another mediocre storyline. (i LOVED that this other mediocre storyline was pope-centric and the main character energy he was given this season. but. they. could have done that?? with the first storyline?????)

i hate that they brought big john back so so much. SO much. literally it was the stupidest most idiotic lazy cheesy plot choice in the world. it doesn't make sense, we like saw his literal bones at one point like his lifeless corpse, and WHY would they bring back a key character from the PREVIOUS ARC when they created an ENTIRELY NEW CONFLICT AND PLOTLINE FOR THIS SEASON???? jonas pate stuck it in for shock value and cliff hanger in hopes of securing a season 3, and i hate him for it. he's such a terrible writer white men have it so easy

someone in the neck kiss truthers discord earlier pointed out that jb's dead father returning after like a year and a half of thinking he was dead would probably be more traumatic that healing at this point, and i agree so much. also, you know that they're not going to use it for good either way. they're going to use his dad coming back as a way to further traumatize him somehow because obx writers are jombeephobic. and i wouldn't put it past them to bring him back just to kill him off again. jonas pate wants to write john b torture porn and i am TIRED of it

my least favorite thing about season 2 was the characterization. they really did just disregard the characters they created in season 1. kie was completely ooc for like three episodes, and it wasn't because she was mourning. it was just shitty writing. she had no character outside of her relationships this season, which has been my fear from the very beginning and why i have never wanted kie with any of the pogues. season 2 diminished her character to the female love interest, and that just sucked so bad for her.

whether you're a jjpope or not, season 2 completely changed their friendship dynamic. the only time we got glimpses of the season 1 jjpope dynamic was in the improv sequences when rudy and jd took it upon themselves. also during their hugs LMFAO. which is also an acting choice. the writing completely disregarded their friendship and dynamic. it was weird as fuck it was all weird. i also hated that kie and sarah's scripted interactions were just them talking about boys. another case of friendships again being completely disregarded for the cishet relationships. 

i just really feel like all of the characters were handled poorly this season, which is crazy because literally ALL we asked for was backstory and character development and pogue screentime. but jonas pate instead decided to write ten episodes of nonstop running and yelling and fuckinf adrenaline, with an ooc script. for funsies

i feel like the magic of season 1 was lost. the vibe of season 1 that makes it so comforting and rewatchable and lovely is sort of just lost in all the silly plot. we see snatches of it here and there, but they feel crammed between unnecessary action scenes and stunts and shouting when we would have been happy with ten episodes of the pogues hanging out in each other's bedrooms.

NOW IM GOING TO TALK THINGS I LIKED OKAY OKAY

i seriously DID love watching it. we pulled an all nighter in the neck truthers discord and binged the entire season and the adrenaline of that kept me going for the rest of the week. it was literally fucking insane absolutely batshit and i LOVED it. the writing was horrible but like. it's obx we know it isn't good LMFAOO. it's part of the charm

i definitely don't like it more than s1, but i did still like it a lot. i LOVED how pope centric it was, like he fr had such main character energy this season and it was wonderful. even though the storyline was weird and didn't make sense jd did so well lolol he did so wonderfully. i loved seeing pope get the attention he deserves this season.

JJPOPE MOMENTS. i was definitely sad they didn't have an arc to themselves like they did season 1, but oh my god jd and rudy FED US with jjpope improv moments this season. the NECK KISS? the WRESTLING? every single one of their hugs?????? they're insane. it sucked that they really didn't have any scenes alone but we take what we can get.

SPEAKING OF GAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT RAFEBARRY. because?? oh my god??? first season it was like a crack ship and then season 2 came out and... what are we supposed to do ignore it? they are literally??? gay????? it's jarring they're insane. i am so so invested in them it's kind of unreal how deep i got into this ship in such a short amount of time (follow @rafebarry babies <33)

cleo. i love cleo. the best new thing to come out of this season for sure. clarah is coming strong i can feel it and i am SO ready. i know that they're most likely going to move toward a cleopope romance next season, which i don't hate? i'm bothered only because a) it's obvious it's mostly being done to get pope out of the way for jiara, and b) i think people often push two dark-skinned characters into a ship just because they're both dark-skinned, and that yucks me out. but i will say i really liked their moments together in s2 and i think they could be really good together if they're canon s3 (which they probably will be.)

overall like. it was a fun watch. i retained like 2% of the plot i was just there for the vibes and dopamine high and that was totally fine. i want to take the pogues out of jonas pate’s greedy little white man fingers and give them the character and relationship development they deserve, but we can’t have it all i guess. the cinematography this season i think i liked better than season 1, wasn’t a huge fan of that weird yellow filter tho. also the lighting. obx lighting guys get demoted challenge. umm yeah season 1 supremacy but season 2 had amazing vibes

[grovyrosegirl]

I love your writing for mcsm!!! I binge read all of the posts. If you are still doing it, can you do Champion Lukas AU headcannons and what would happen if that's okay??? I would love to see what you come up with :D

Aw, well thank you! I’m glad my older stuff is still enjoyable! I don’t really write drabbles for MCSM anymore because I kind of got burned out on it, but it’s been a while and I can still write headcanons. Plus, people have been making so much cool fanart for ancient-bird-demon’s AU, so I’ve got some ideas!

Alright, let’s get this angst train going. 

Instead of kidnapping either Petra or Jack to be his champion, Romeo’s too angry at all of them for cheating, so he sends Jesse, Petra, and Jack to the Sunshine Institute. 

Since he’s still throwing a tantrum, Romeo wants to hit Jesse where it hurts so he decides to grab someone else close to Jesse. His options are either Lukas or Radar since they’re close by. Romeo still thinks Radar is too much of a weakling to be useful, and Lukas is the first one to run back inside to the ice tower after hearing his friends screaming. 

When Lukas runs back inside, he comes face to face with the Admin and demands to know what he’s done with his friends. That’s when Romeo’s just like, “Yep. You’ll do.” He places the gauntlet on Lukas and teleports him away. When Radar and Lluna rush back in, he sends them to the Sunshine Institute.

Lukas is taken to this pocket dimension created by Romeo. It’s a floating island in the middle of some strange void. The only things on this island are a tiny cabin, a pond, and a battle arena. Romeo gleefully tells Lukas that this is his home now and he’s the new champion. Now of course, Lukas is like, “NOPE. Absolutely not.” But Romeo is, well, Romeo and tells him that he doesn’t have a choice.

Now, unlike Jack and Petra, Lukas isn’t the toughest combatant. That’s not to say he can’t fight, he’s a really good archer and decently skilled with a sword, but he’s been putting aside the adventurer life for his quiet writer life for a few years now, so his combat is a bit rusty. For this reason, Lukas questions Romeo as to why he picked him. Romeo tells him that it’s because he sees Lukas as a challenge. He wants to shape someone who’s not “champion material” into the perfect champion. So it’s almost like a game for Romeo. Plus, he mentions, he wants to see Jesse's face when they see Lukas as the champion instead of them. In Romeo's words, “Jesse will get so jealous and be begging to be my champion!”

Lukas points out the obvious, “No you jerk, Jesse doesn’t want to be your champion. Do you...KNOW Jesse at all?” Annnd that’s the first time Romeo uses the gauntlet to shock Lukas. Poor Lukas.

Over the next few days, Romeo tests Lukas by summoning monsters for him to fight in the arena. When that gets boring, he gives Lukas crazy puzzles and obstacle courses for him to solve. If he doesn’t cooperate, he gets shocked. These challenges go on for what feels like hours, and Lukas nearly collapses when Romeo finally lets him go back to the cabin to rest.

Eventually, Lukas puts his foot down and refuses to do anything Romeo says. Even after getting shocked, Lukas still refuses. So Romeo decides he needs to change his strategy. The next day, he summons Lukas back to the arena. But instead of monsters or a puzzle waiting for him, it’s...Jesse?! Now of course, it’s not the real Jesse, it’s a fake made by Romeo, but Lukas doesn’t find out until after he’s nearly killed by the fake Jesse.

From then on, every single challenge Romeo gives Lukas is fighting a fake Jesse. He mixes it up too. Sometimes he'll make the arena look like areas from their past adventures. For example, one day he makes it look like the building contest, another day it’s the White Pumpkin Mansion, another day it’s PAMA’s core, so on and on. Romeo kicks it up a notch by making fake copies of Lukas' other friends, like Petra, Axel, Olivia, Radar, or one time he even uses the former Ocelots, to watch the fights between Lukas and “Jesse” and taunt him.

As you can imagine, these “challenges” take a mental toll on Lukas. He knows that the Jesse he fights everyday and the friends cheering it on are fakes made by Romeo. He knows. But they feel so real, it hurts. So his coping method when he fights fake Jesse is to repeatedly mutter to himself, “It's not real, it’s not real, it’s not real...” He does this for the next few challenges, telling himself at night that the real Jesse is on their way to save him. Because of course they are, it’s Jesse. And Jesse has never let him down before, this time won’t be different...right?

In episode 3, if Petra is the champion, she mentions that Romeo took her to some weird dimension where time doesn’t move normally. So that applies here too. Time in the pocket dimension moves a lot slower than it does in the real world. So while it’s only been a few days for Jesse and company, for poor Lukas, it’s been weeks. And his hope of the real Jesse coming to save him is dwindling...

Then comes the fateful day. Lukas is summoned to a new arena. Strange, it doesn’t look like anywhere he’s been before. It looks like a prison. And there’s another fake Jesse in front of him, only they’re wearing an outfit that Lukas doesn’t recognize. And this fake is different. This fake looks more...scared. They're not attacking him like the fake Jesses usually do. And the fake versions of Radar, Petra, Jack, and Nurm keep shouting at him to stop. Weird. Very weird...

Soooo you’ve probably guessed it by now, Lukas is fighting the REAL Jesse this time and doesn’t know it. Despite how much Jesse keeps shouting at him to stop and that it’s really them, Lukas doesn’t listen. He’s convinced that it’s just another fake that Romeo's using to mess with him. Eventually, however, Jesse decides there’s only way to prove it to him. They toss aside their sword, run at Lukas, and hug him tightly. Lukas fights against the hug, but Jesse refuses to let go, and they softly tell him, “It's okay Lukas, it’s alright. It’s me. I’m here. I’m here.”

Then it finally clicks, it IS the real Jesse. Lukas drops his sword and hugs them back, apologizing profusely. It’s finally over. But of course, Romeo is MAD. So he does what he does normally in episode 3, he leaves them all to rot in the Sunshine Institute, transforms into Jesse, and leaves for Beacontown.

When Romeo's gone, Lukas collapses to the ground and breaks down crying. Jesse, Radar, and Petra rush over to him and hug him close, because THIS POOR GUY REALLY NEEDS A HUG, OKAY? They let him cry it all out for a while before they head to Prisoner X’s cell.

The rest of the adventure pretty much goes how it does in the normal game, save for a few details. For one thing, Lukas is EXTREMELY wary of Xara, because he doesn’t trust Admins after what he’s been through. Another thing is that Lukas sticks by Jesse's side for most of the adventure. He doesn’t want to be left behind out of fear that Romeo will snatch him up again and send him back to the pocket dimension. Jesse is understanding, but eventually they have to sit him down when they’re at Fred's Keep and talk about it with him.

After episode 5, with everything over and Romeo either gone or heading off for redemption, Lukas decides to move back into Beacontown with Jesse. Jesse gives him a while to relax and recuperate, and they eventually give Lukas a new notebook to write down his thoughts in.

[honeyymistt]

hi honeyy !! weight anon here idk what to call myself or if you remember me lol

tw-weight, body image, fasting

i’m really sorry i forgot to add one to my old ask btw, i don’t really use social media that much so tws are a new thing to me and totally slipped my mind. i really hope i didn’t trigger anyone who read that without knowing what it was about and i’m so so sorry if i did.

okayy so it’s been like a month (feels like soo much longer omg) since i asked you for advice and i lost four pounds! not really in a good way though. when i first read your reply to me, that motivated me SO much for the first week, i did like 5 yt workouts everyday and ate super health/drank water, then just gave up after a couple days and sat in bed being sad and lazy and hating myself because i didn’t lose even an inch off my stomach or thighs. i made your replies to me my homescreen lol cuz it made motivated and happy when i read it but i hadn’t for a while, so i read it again then and that just made me feel a lot better and was one of the things that got me out of that (the other thing was a job !!!!! i started working at this super cute place !!!) and then i started being healthy and working out again. but then idek what happened, but mid last week i just randomly decided to go on a water fast so i did that until saturday night but i really really could not bear it so i let myself eat again. and sunday was okay but today and yesterday i just binged like crazy and i feel so gross and fat and ugly and i haven’t worked out at all. something i realized on saturday is that the reason people who lose weight healthily keep it off it because it takes them months right ? so through those months the healthy things they’re doing start becoming habits and then they don’t gain that weight back. so then i was like okay i’ll lose weight healthily(before, my primary goal was to lose it super fast before the summer so i can be pretty again and health didn’t matter as much) and learn how to be confident in this body, and sunday i was trying to be positive and whatever but yesterday and today’s binging made me upset with myself i wish i controlled myself lol. the only reason i’m not as upset as i would’ve been before is because i only gained like half a pound from that. i have such a toxic mindset and it’s soooo hard to break !!! i’ll keep working on it though. anyways, my job is making me organized and happier which hopefully will motivate me to workout and be healthy too so i’ll update you in some time if you want !! ily 💕

oh my gosh hi!!! i'm not sure if you saw my other response but i mentioned that i was thinking about the other anon and i just have to add that i was thinking of you too and was wondering how you were doing. i'm so glad to hear from you! i'm so happy to hear that you're working some place cute and fun and it warms my heart to read that you made my response your lockscreen. i mean it when i say this: reading that made me day <3

no need to worry about not including a tw. i'm new to them as well and you didn't send in with your previous message with the intention of triggering someone. we're learning together!

i think you're going through something really common when it comes to weight loss/developing a healthier lifestyle. usually the first week is really strong but then after that, it's natural to lose that motivation and just give up. i think it's really important to remember why you started and what your end goal is. maybe try writing it on a post-it note so you see it often or create a vision board!

you're absolutely right about how weight loss (and keeping the weight off) takes a long time. i wouldn't recommend going on more water fasts or crazy diet restrictions because you're likely to binge at one point and feel guilty after. the best thing i ever did for watching what i was eating was eating more mindfully and eating slower so maybe give that a try!

last thing about your point of losing weight before summer so you can be pretty again - i think this might be why you've been having a hard time. one of the other best things i did was stop correlating weight loss to beauty/being pretty and instead correlating it to confidence. if you're losing weight, i hope you do it with a positive mindset, with a goal of developing a heathier lifestyle and habits so you can live in a body that is strong and makes you feel confident. something i realized awhile ago was that even if i were to lose 5 or 50 pounds, i would just find something new about myself that i want to change. i would still be insecure. you are beautiful right now, as you are. it doesn't matter if you went from a size 2 to a size 6 because i can tell just by the way you write that you are a beautiful and kind person.

try your best to keep this weight loss experience positive rather than negative. it will take time and it will be hard but you can definitely push through it. go easy on yourself, don't go on a crazy diet and remember that you don't have to work out for an hour every day of the week. make small, manageable changes in your day and you'll make progress. you've got this! i would wish you luck but you don't need my luck to achieve your goal; i know you're going to accomplish your goal because you're strong and capable!! :)

please do update me with how you're doing, okay? i want to make sure you maintain a healthy mindset throughout your weight loss journey.

sending you happiness and a reminder that your body is beautiful as it is <3

xx, your number 1 cheerleader <3

[chirpycreations]

#Memento Mori

So, I guess this is my story. I wanted to write this during the stream but my dyslexia forbays me from being able to write and listen to two completely unrealed things at the same time, and I couldn't bring myself to pull away, so here it is, nice and late ^^;

- - - - - -

Well, I was late to the party like most things in my life. I found the channel at 16 days to go thanks to MatPatt's theory.  I haven't watched all 369 videos. My last count put me at 100 and something, maybe 150 ish. I did concider pulling an allnighter the night before to watch all of the remaining ones but I chose against it in the end. I'm happy with the memories I have and not seeing all the videos, because those videos I did watch I'll treasure forever; bing watching them while despritly trying to finish my Level 3 Design board for school. 

Working away on Clipstudio paint, and in the corner of my eye laughing, crying, rolling my eyes at the chaios that was unfolding while my wrist screamed at me, my head hurt....I was so sure I was going to burn out again like the two years prior and not manged to finish, but you're videos gave me the strength to do the impossible.  If you guys could make over 365 videos in a year, I could finish x2 A1 pannels worth of art and...I did. To a good standard too. I won my schools Top Visual Artist award yesterday at prize giving and top of my Design class.

At first I saw the channel as nothing more than a bit of shit posting, so I wasn't too bothered. A bit of random nonses (It took me soooo long to convince my self to watch cooking with Sex toys, but it was one of the greatest laughs of my month if not longer). The last few months have been hard on me, my family have been waiting 4 and half years to get NZ residency and missing all the Uni application dates and schollarships has had me quite down the last few months listening to everyone around talking about there future plans while I can't progress with mine, because my GOD have you seen international fees???Anyway, your shit posts really helped bring a smile to my face while I was struggling, especailly the halloween stuff: I loved the edward sissors hands, it was the first one I watched and I still love it- so plan and utterly dumb. I'm doing better now. It's still hard, but I really think your videos have have helped me so much. 

 I think the video which hit hardest for me and acutally helped me to really understand what the channel was about was the hypnotist one with the lemon.  What the lady said to both of you really, really hit home hard for me- I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry my eyes out. 

Ethan, your story hit home for me because I also went through that as a kid. I was bullied so badly as a kid. Told I was nothing, would be nothing- I have dsylexia too, and I stunk in school for the longest time; bottom of every class, made to take lessons to learn how to put a wooden alphabet together forward and backwards in YEAR 6 (I was 12 and could do so just fine, but the teachers obviously didn't think so). I've been reserved, shy, had the most crippling self of steem issuse for all my life and only in the last few years since moving to NZ I've started to recover and regain some of that confidence I lost; had broken.  

"If there was a little girl inside who hurt, who had a discomfort, imagine sitting next to that younger version of you that was in pain or hurt and let her know that she's safe. That little girl looks up to you, trusting you to keep her safe: You're safe." -Unus Annus, 294:11:34:20

It really hit me so hard because I needed someone to tell me this as a kid, hold me close, tell me everything would be ok when I thought my world was crashing down and listing to these words I saw my current self giving back what she needed. And now when I'm scard, doubting myself I see her, I see both of them, current me and past me holding hands and me giving her the support she needs. I have a illustration I made on my desk with the quote, as a reminder when times get tought and that little girl forgetts she's not alone anymore.

Mark, your story also hit home with me too.  Like I mentioned, I have dyslexia and for me english -mostly writting- has always been a major problem which had held me back, like a brick chained to my leg and I have to hike up this moutain with it. I still remember disnictly this one time in science I lost out on a high mark because I couldn't spell auoghaous (oesophagus- still can't XD) and my teacher wouldn't believe that was what I had tried to write. I was so bitter about that for the longest time, I still am, 6 years on and still remeber it like yesterday. Anyway, the reason your story hit home is because it reminded me of my old english teacher and what she did to me. Made me into the person I am now. I was in Year 8 (14 years old) and at a parents meeting infront of my dad she said, "you're daughter will never ger higher than a 5- in english. This crushed me so much, because a -5 is avarage for a Year 6 and at this level I should have been getting 5+/6 (like everyone else in my class) - fucking dyslexia. It's like a brick wall of titainium when you're a kid.  

I don't know what happened but something in me snapped and I was determained to prove her wrong. I had that teacher for 2 years before I left to NZ (from the UK) and never ONCE did she give me a mark higher than 5- (mostly because the Brittish system require good spelling to reacher 5, something which again, my dyslexia was against and at the time computers weren't a thing in my school as a resorse for dyslexic kids like myself). It sucked, but I kept trying to prove her wrong. I studied, practiced, revised hard and then in my last exam, an external she didn't mark I got a 7+ for reading and 7- for writting with an 8+ being the highest. I proved her wrong.  I proved a lot of people wrong. I kept working hard and now I'm near the top of every class I take. You're story reminded me of myself and why I keep pushing myself. Why I continue to drive to achieve the best I can. Be the best person I can. 

I know this is long, so before I wrap up I wanted to say thank you. You're channel has not only helped some of my old traumas heal, but I also have a much greater appreciation for life which I guess is crazy concidering I was only apart of it for 16 days, but...it really has made an impact to me. I don't think I ever relised how valuble life is. How important every second is. Death and moving on has always scared me. Moving to NZ and leaving everything I knew and had behind has been one of my biggest trumas for the last 4 years, learning to let go and move on- I use to hate change- ,but now I think I can accept it and move on. I've just finished my last year of high school, I have to make this drastic change in mylife again, moving on, going to uni one day, but I'm ready for it. "Death gives life meaning"; the end, moving on, give the past meaning and means being able to except and be ready to imbrase the future that's coming. Whether in the next few seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months years... I really do feel better prepared for it. 

I hate the end, I've been writting a story now for 3 years and I've been scared of how to end it, I've been avoiding it because I love the characters. I don't want them to go, to end, but now. I think I'm willing to acept the fact that maybe it's time I let them go. Write them the end they deserve and move on. Nothing last forever, all great story are great because like the channel it's the ending which gives them meaning. 

So...thank you guys, Mark, Ethan, everyone behind the camera. You're work has really made a possitive impact in my life, escpecally the hynpotist video, so thank you. I'm going to start treasuring every second, making every millifractal of a second count. I've been torn for the longest time between a stable career in science, or a dream career in art. And I'm gonna go for it. I'll take the risk, the gamble, shoot for the stars and if I miss I miss. Atleast I can say I tried to do what made me happy and when I do succed it'll be even more rewarding to know I did the impossible. So thank you, I'll treasure every memory and the page of quote I have from todays live stream. 

 “Every second is a chance to turn your life around." 

"When you get those ideas in your head say YES! You never know how you're going to suprise yourself."

"Death gives life meaning."

"Don't cry because its over, cry because it happened."

"Don't take any second for granted, don't waist any moment."

"It's easy to live life in wants and desires, but it's making every second count that matters. Do what makes you happy, use every second wisely, you'll never get that time back."

And my own personal quote, because I want to give back the wisdom you've shared with my own: 

"Memento Mori - Remeber death. Embrace it, don't fear it. Live life to it's fullest and take every opportunity that comes your way, because death is a promise, not a bargain. Life the life you want, so you can move on without regret. "

"Life tough and scary, 2020 for sure, but regardless I smile. Laugh in fears face, it happens. Laugh at the problems in life, they happen. Laugh at how close life comes to and continues to fail at killing you. Fill every moment with joy and positivity; we all need more of it in life."

"Bad days are like cloudy skies, they come and go. The weather can get stormy, but the sky will always clear eventually, the sun will shine again."

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #269

“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”

What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again! What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years. What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much. Do you watch porn? No, not interested. Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't. Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there. What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D  F O R  T H E  G O D S. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265. Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy. What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever. Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly. Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown. Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably. You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant. Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes. Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah. Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis). Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere? Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol. Do you have any potted plants in your house? No. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me. What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that. What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho. Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao. A famous person you have met? Nobody. Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma. What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine. If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them. Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great! When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago. What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him. If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names. What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active. Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao. Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too. Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms. What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard. Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now. What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all. Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow. Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit. Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did. If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course. Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person. Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No. List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes. What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5. Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake. Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth. Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal. Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually. Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara. Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards. What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me. Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality. Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though. Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me. What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now. Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day. Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could. Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet. Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever. What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend." Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter. When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara. What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything. Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though. What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude." If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this. What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense. Have you ever been to Hooters before? No. When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER. Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet. What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too. Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said. Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person. Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no. Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing. Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot. Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash. Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky. If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to. Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[mfackenthal]

The MFackenthal Show and Cordonian’s Gone Wild!

Anitah: Hello fabulous audience members!  We are so glad you’re here. I know it’s a little early for the show to start, but if you could please try to take your seats quickly and quietly, that would be super helpful.

Alicia: As you all know or can guess, we’re the guest stars for today’s show.  

Pam: But what you don’t know, because Megs doesn’t even know it yet, is that we are taking over today’s show!  

Gen:  So … really, we’re in a bit of a hurry here … we need to start this show before Megs gets on stage.  Can you freaking be seated already?!

Pam:  (whispering loudy to Gen) Yo, asshole, be nice to the audience.  

Anitah, Alicia, Gen, and Pam all take a seat behind or on the desk that Megs often sits behind to start her show.  

Anitah:  Sit, sit, sit, everyone.

Alicia:  Roll the cameras.  

Gen:  counting down using her fingers In 3 … 2 …. 1 …

Pam: Welcome everyone to the Cordonian’s Gone Wild edition of The MFackenthal Show!!!!

Anitah:  You may be wondering where Megs is - don’t worry, she’s in hair and makeup.  She should be out soon.  

Alicia:  For those of you who don’t know, I’m @leelee10898 - You can call me Alicia or Leelee, whatever you want.  This is @ao719 AKA Anitah.

Anitah: The other girls call me Nita so that works too.

Pam:  I’m @speedyoperarascalparty: Pam is my name.

Gen: And I’m @cocomaxley -  Genevieve or Gen or asshole.  Okay party people - Parties are not set up with an audience - so get your butts out of those seats, move your chairs to the left side of the room where the MFackenthal staff will help clear the room and bring in some more comfortable couches.

Anitah:  Then, help yourself to a glass of Maxwell’s Purple concoction.

Pam:  And don’t ask, we’re not allowed to share the recipe.

Alicia:  Seriously, as to what’s in it … just don’t ask.

Gen:  Anyways … everyone get a glass so we can raise a toast.

The audience scrambles out of their seats, following the directions as best as they can.  The whole room is quickly transformed, a disco ball is hung from the center, a dance floor being laid down in the middle of the room, couches are set up around the dance floor and there’s a table stage left with about a dozen punch bowls filled with Maxwell’s Purple Concoction.  

Pam:  Does everyone have a drink?

Anitah:  Everyone, please raise your glass.

Everyone raises their glass. The girls stand center stage - which is now the center of the room - and just as they’re about to raise their glasses, Megs comes walking out.  

Anitah:  To Cordonia!

Pam: And loyal, hot men!

The audience parts for Megs and the room gets quiet.

Alicia:  To … choices?  Why is everyone so quiet?

Gen:  Welcome to your show, Megs!  

All:  To Megs!!!!

The audience:  To Megs!

Pam hands Megs a glass of Maxwell’s drink.  Megs takes it and slowly does a full 360 looking around the room.  

The audience is cheering and clapping loudly.

Megs:  Damn, ladies.  If i didn’t know this was my stage, I’d never recognize it!  Tapping her foot, is this a dance floor?  Is this Maxwell’s purple concoction?  Do you know what’s in it?

The audience: Don’t ask!

Megs:  laughs.  Oooookay … well, the producers are telling me we are already rolling soooo …

Anitah:  So hello Megs and welcome to your show!  

Megs:  Welcome indeed!  Megs takes a sip of the drink and a steadying breath.  So … okay, well …

Gen:  Well, in case it’s not obvious - we’ve taken over your show.  We know what the people want-

Pam:  Don’t worry - we’ll give the people what they want.

Alicia:  So, just take another sip and let us take over.

Megs looks at the girls, shrugs her shoulders, looks around, and takes a seat next to an audience member.  

Megs:  Alright, ladies.  It’s your show.

Anitah:  Oh! That was easier than I thought it would be.  Alrighty!  So … ladies, what do we think the people really want to know?

Megs:  Looking away from the stage and putting a hand over her hand to muffle her voice, she loudly says:  What brought each of you to the fandom? Looking forward and feigning innocence Whoa, who said that?

Gen:  laughing real smooth Megs.

Pam: I was going through Drake withdrawals. It was between books and I needed a fix.

Gen: I found TRR after seeing numerous ads on social media for the Choices app. I spent a ridiculous amount of money to binge TRR book 1 and book 2. Then, like Pam, got super thirsty for Liam, sorry not sorry Anitah! I found AO3 first then after some google searches, I found tumblr.

Anitah: It was a total and complete accident! I was googling something about the game while (im)patiently waiting for a new chapter to be released in book 3 and I saw a link to a fanfic. I had never even been on tumblr before and had zero clue what it even was. But was so glad when I found this glorious fandom!

Alicia: @darley1101. Someone shared a damien fic she wrote on the choices fandom FB page.

Megs:  Oooh - here’s some insider information - @darley1101 has been booked to be on this show in the future.  Hey, so tell us - When did “Cordonian’s Gone Wild” get started?  How did it get started? What’s the real story here?  

Anitah: Seriously Megs - chill!  We’ve taking over!  But, great question!  So we all joined a huge chat group with what...10 other people? Lol. It was pure madness. Pam started writing one shots for people in that chat. Bringing their real selves into fics with their LI’s. And the four of us began talking in a separate chat and one night we were talking about how crazy, ridiculous and fun it would be if we all went to Vegas (with our pretend husbands because the IRL ones aren’t as much fun)

Pam: Or as 🍆

Anitah: So then I wrote One Night In Vegas...and we posted it just for fun and people really seemed to enjoy it. Do any of you remember who or how we got Cordonians Gone Wild?? Because I do not!  lol

Pam: Nope!

Gen: This was Anitah or Pam. I know that. But it worked out because we all had different LI's after I got thirsty for Rashad.

Megs: I wondered how Rashad came in to the picture and had to assume someone latched on to him ... or, don’t be mad ⁨Genevieve⁩ ... he was the “leftover” (straight) male

Gen: Actually this was @boneandfur’s fault. She wrote some Rashad one shots and I loved him after that.

Megs:  Ooooh, I wonder if she wants to be on the show?  Hmmmm...

Anitah: As we were saying … Then as we went on each of us kind of developed these character traits I think (feel free to chime in guys lol) but example...in Mardi Anitah steals the royal jet and that became her thing-  lol - so I always steal the jet and Liam gets pissed (which is exactly what I want)

Gen: Yep! I became the resident asshole which isn't too far off from real life. Actually it's exactly like real life.

Pam: Yea I mean, Pam is based off me. Gen and I realized we used to live right by each other in Illinois before I moved back to Michigan. I'm a marriage and family therapist. Went to Northwestern, so we wrote in Gen and I lived in Chicago together.

Anitah: Well, if I had a jet in real life I'd steal it…

Alicia: Shaking her head like she’s been zoned out … Actually I think I was the one who came up with the name lol. I remember mimicking it after girls gone wild.

Meg starts to get up to ask a question, but Gen is standing behind her and places both hands on Meg’s shoulders to push her back into her seat.

Gen:  If I know Megs, she’d now ask a process question, like How do you decide who writes for what couple?  Or how did you decide? Is it set in stone?

Megs glares up at Gen while she asks the question.  Then she nods and waves Gen back to stage.  

Pam: The couples are set in stone. They are our LI. Some of us are more committed than others..pam and anitah stare down gen and alicia.  Some should cower in shame.

Gen and Alicia appear to be utterly unphased.

Gen: (cackling) I can't help it! I have a soft spot for Mr. Sinclaire!

Anitah: Pam and I are just less adventurous.

Pam: Trust...honesty....FAITHFULNESS!

Anitah and Alicia mock Pam’s words and movements

Alicia: Leo Rhys is my husband and has my heart.... I just have a soft spot for, Colt, Logan, Matt, Adrian, Damien, Earnest.. am I forgetting someone??  Oh yeah Bryce and Beckett.

Pam: Cough..whore..cough

Alicia: sticks up middle finger

Anitah and Gen: continue laughing

Pam: We all write all the couples, but the pairings don’t change...even if avatars do

Gen: She's talking about you Alicia.

Anitah: As far as who writes for what couple, if it’s a group fic we all participate, but each of us writes the respective couple if it’s a one shot or what not.

Gen: Usually someone comes up with an idea and someone else will be like - I'll write it 🙋🏻‍♀️… Or sometimes it's crickets …

The whole stage gets super quiet, everyone seems to be listening for the crickets. Megs gets up and the four girls glare at her.

Megs:  No, no, I got it - your show.  Why don’t you all simply discuss who has read which choices books and what is everyone’s favorite while I go and refill my drink?  

Megs winks to the camera and walks to the table to get a refill.

Anitah: Oh god...there’s such a long list...

Pam: Anitah and I will sit this one out…

Gen: Prudes! I'll say it again, I love Mr. Sinclaire. But I've played AME, Bloodbound, VOS, TCATF, ROE (blah), PM and a bunch of others. But not a lot of the newer ones.

Alicia: Did you seriously just BLAH my husbands book?

Gen: Yes the fuck I did!

Alicia: The only one I have NOT read yet is most wanted. I have started the haunting of braidwood manor, both it lives and passport, but have yet to finish those. Otherwise I have read all books fully released and am up to date on current ones.

Gen: Most Wanted is so good!

Pam: Drake…

Gen: (pats Pam’s hand) We know, Pammy. We know.

Alicia: Some I have read numerous times.... like Ride or Die.... perfect match and blood bound…

Megs has come back to her seat.

Megs: Who is your favorite OTP?

Anitah: Liam x MC

*Everyone looks at Pam waiting for Drammy to be said 👀*

Pam: Drammy! I'm consistent

Alicia: Ah shit ummmmmm ...

Gen: Liam x MC

Alicia: Colt x Ellie

Megs:  Poor Rashad and Leo!  Shakes her head.

Gen: They’re fine.

Alicia:  Oh!  You know what we should talk about?  Ourselves!  Our jobs, our hobbies, our favorite things - what we do when we’re not writing …

Pam:  Okay then … when I’m not writing - I work, play with my kids, I'm a brownie troop leader for my 7 year old, I fantasize about Drake Walker

Gen: Working...always working. Jobs are stupid. And I have this part time gig called a husband and two teenagers.

Anitah: Playing with my kids, being annoyed by my irl hubby and photographer on the side.

Alicia: Be a mom and all the "Mom" stuff that comes along with it..... oh and work...

Megs: And for fun?

Anitah: Photography for fun. I love taking pictures and scoping out new places to take them.

Gen: I used to crochet a lot. I taught myself to cross stitch. I like hobbies that keep me away from electronics.

Alicia: ummm good question. Write?? Crafts. Garden. I actually really didn't know how much I enjoyed it until last year.

Pam: Writing is my favorite past time currently. I also like to do arts and crafts with my kids, cooking..not baking, just to be clear...I like doing home improvement projects, painting, playing with my kids, hanging with my IRL hubs. Also, auditioning for a spot on Nailed It.

Gen: OMG! The first communion cake! It was amazing!

Megs: I should have made you make us a cake to go with this punch, Pam.  Alicia mentioned favorite things … What’s your favorite work that you have written? Feel free to answer this as a group and about your work individually.

Anitah: Definitely NOLA is one of my favorites

Alicia: Same

Gen: NOLA was amazing!

Megs:  And that stands for???  

Anitah: Oh - New Orleans! I didn’t write it but it’s still one of my favorites

Gen: Max hugging Pams feet saying, “don't take my puppy, Bertrand.”

Anitah: Omfg I forgot about that part!

Alicia: NOLA, and Never Give Up.. does rhys smirk. That I've written Amsterdam.

Pam: I loved In Another Life, Amsterdam, Harry Potter

Anitah: I liked In the Doghouse too...it was rough but...angst🤷🏼‍♀

Gen: says the queen of angst.

Pam: Yes!!! Loved Doghouse

Alicia: Ooh and Christmas. With max and the cow

Pam: I liked Naked and Afraid, but it was a bitch to write. Dates was fun too. Hawaii...the dance🤤🤤🤤

Anitah: OMG YESS 😂🤣😂😂

Alicia: the vein

Anitah: (laughing) The vein(s)

Alicia: Yes. But it was the 1st time Leos Rhys’ vein was displayed

Pam: Pony will never be the same

Alicia: Leo naked tackles me in the water

Pam: Yep....Drake’s junk over my face...🤤🤤🤤 Guys...I think I might have an oral fixation. For real.

Alicia: no shit. And i mean that it the nicest way

Pam: I need something else to do with my mouth than suck Drake’s dick

Alicia: Suck his balls?

Pam: That could work...🍊🍊

Gen: And the crazy train just went off the rails…

Megs:  LOL, well - you can find a full listing of their work now showing on the screen here.  

Anitah:  Awh, thanks Megs!  Oh!  The producers are indicating that it’s time for a commercial break.  So we’re all going to refill our drinks and then we have another surprise in store for Megs.  Megs - don’t forget to refill your drink and then join us on stage after these messages.

<Insert a commercial for the sponsor of this and all content:  Choices by Pixelberry.>

The 4 ladies and Megs are now center stage.  Everyone’s glasses have been refilled.  

Pam:  Megs, as the hosts of your show and now that you’re two glasses of purple drink in - we have some questions for you!

Gen: How did you come up with the idea to do these interviews? I think it's awesome because it really helps get to know the other people in the fandom. Oh! And what's your favorite color?

Megs:  The idea behind these interviews came from multiple conversations I had with some friends, especially @tmarie82, @lizeboredom, and @maxattack-powell.  I wanted to give back to this community but I wasn’t inspired to write fanfiction.  So I talked with them about different ways I could give back.  I wanted ways that were non-competitive and ways that I could highlight the work of a specific author or visual artist.  Multiple people mentioned how awkward it could be to reach out and start talking over tumblr but that they were always interested in process and the lives of the artists and I was like - I have no shame in asking all of the questions!  Let me ask and share what I learn.  Then I did a follower post - I think I had maybe 100 followers?  Maybe 150?  People had to enter - so I figured it was self selecting group and I did my first interview.  The Ellen saw my interview and offered me her time slot.

Oh! … and my favorite color is mint green.  

Anitah: How do you read so many fics to do your reviews? It’s amazing that you take all that time to do that and signal boost these writers to the fandom!

Megs: Awh, thanks!  The true answer is two fold.  One - tumblr mobile on my iphone.  Two - I’m a huge nerd.  I wake up and pretty much immediately start reading.  I read in line at the grocery store.  I read while waiting for the programs we use at work to switch between screens - because shit if that doesn’t sometimes take 5 minutes.  Why should I stare at the screen while the wheel of death turns when I can read a couple paragraphs about the men in my life?

Pam: How do you decide what to read? Are writers or fics recommended to you or is it just luck?

Megs:  At this point - tumblr tags probably play a larger than appropriate influence on what I read. I tend to check my notifications first and start there.  I’m a sucker for having a conversation, sharing a joke, or getting a response from another person - be in the author or another fangirl or fanboy.  I definitely take recommendations though.  And, on the off chance that I can just choose what I read, then I go through my feed and see what strikes my fancy.

Alicia: What's your favorite thing you have read so far? And what is your funniest tumblr moment?

Megs: I have no clue what my favorite thing is that I’ve read.  There is so much amazing work … but before I talk about my own funnies - I will mention two stories that had me laughing.  One is by @hellospunkiebrewster called Blackouts and Bad Decisions and let’s just say that Bertrand has a tramp stamp.  If that doesn’t make you laugh - nothing will.  The other one was published far more recently by @laniquelovewrites.  It’s called The Lion Prince and it’s inspired by The Lion King.  I thought it was so funny that I read it to my husband.  Who also thought it was funny.  Hmmmm … as for my funniest tumblr moment … it’s probably been those times when I find a way to make an author’s characters ask for what I want.  Like in this post - where I pretend Ethan and I are changing the clocks in the author’s house so that I can get the next part of the story sooner.  I mean, I think I’m funny at least.

Well ... that’s about all the tim-

Pam: Oh Megs, Megs, Megs, not so fast.  Did you think that our big surprise was asking you questions?  No, the final surprise is yet to come.

Anitah:  Yes, Megs, with the help of your amazing audience, we are going to play …

Alicia:  drum roll please …

Gen:  Never Have I Ever - CGW on the MFackenthal Show edition!

Megs:  shakes her head and smiles So … how does this work?  Like, when do I have to drink?

The four girls look at each other and shrug their shoulders.

Well?  

Pam:  You drink when we tell you to drink.

Gen:  Yeah, down what’s left of that glass and we’ll get you another!

Megs:  laughs … okay, well, I’m already buzzed … uh, can I say that on my show?  … well, kids, everyone here is old enough to drink.  Don’t drink and drive.  Everyone who has been drinking will be taking a ride-share home!

Anitah:  Okay, first question from the audience … Never have I ever been on The MFackenthal Show

Gen: this is my first time! So do I have to drink to this or not?

Pam: Looks like I'm popping my cherry!

Anitah: I’m drinking.

Alicia: 1st time… I'll drink to that!

Megan: haha, well, not as a guest … takes a drink.

Anitah:  Second question: Never have I ever fantasized about a fictional character.

Gen: Omg! Who hasn't? Because I'm thirsty. Always thirsty for my pixelated men...I mean man.

Pam: Hahahahaha...snorting and laughing hysterically. Oh..wait...you're serious?

Anitah: all the time (chugs drink)

Alicia: *Guzzles drink*

Megan: anyone who says no is lying … takes another drink

Alicia:  Never have I ever cheated on my partner.

Gen: I've never cheated on my IRL hubs. I've never cheated on Rashad either. Mr. Sinclaire doesn't count! 😂

Pam: I won't even cheat in my pixelated hubby by playing other books or romancing other LI...I believe honesty and trust are the foundation of all good relationships. STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES, ANITAH!!

Anitah: Never cheated

Alicia: NO!

Megan: Nope! I have a hard time even “playing the field” in the choices games.  If I want to see what it’s like to be with another LI, I have to do another full playthrough.  

Alicia:  Never have I ever...had sex outside.

Gen: In real life, yes I have. In CGW I haven't. So I guess that's a draw.

Pam: Yes in real life and Pixelated life.

Anitah: (laughing hysterically) Well pixelated life we know the answer to that because...kinky king. And real life, yes.

Alicia: IRL yep. CGW Yup!

Megan: Indeed I have.

Gen: Never have I ever Given a blow job in public like Pam.

Gen: (hides face) yes. More times than I care to admit.

Pam: laughs...yea let's just say my hubby enjoyed one of the star wars movies intimately.

Anitah: eyes wide as she chugs her drink

Alicia: takes a drink silently

Megan:  *takes a big drink* shaking her head from side to side

Gen: Never have I ever said your fictional husbands name in a moment of passion?  ... No. Thought about during a moment of passion? All the time. Do NOT tell my husband.

Pam: In my head? Over and over and over...lol. I did however call my husband Drake once, just in passing. He was less than pleased.

Anitah: Not in a moment of passion but I have absolutely thought about it. I did however call my 3 year old son, who’s name starts with L, Liam, and he proceeded to correct me with his full name while giving me the stink eye.

Alicia: no. Have I thought about it…. Hehehehe

Megan: No. If I had, I’d never hear the end of it.

Pam:  Get to drinking, Megs!  Next question from the audience, never have I ever tried to see how many marshmallows can fit into my mouth.

Gen: Marshmallows, saltines, cinnamon - this was bad. Really bad.

Pam: can't say I have!

Anitah: I sure did.

Alicia: no, I have not

Megan: Marshmallows make me feel sick to my stomach. I tend to claim I’m allergic to them, even though I’m fairly sure that would mean I’m allergic to sugar.  LOL

Pam: Never have I ever given someone a lap dance/received a lap dance

Gen: not in public…

Pam: Oh I've been to A LOT of bachelorette parties..so yep!

Anitah: Yes!

Alicia: sorta

Megan: Yes … my husband does this dance to Brittney’s toxic … Give me one of those questions. Takes a set of note cards from Pam and flips through them.  Okay ... Never have I ever broken a bone.

Gen: I've never broken a bone! Yes I'm proud of that!

Pam: Nope!

Anitah: knock on wood - no I haven’t.

Alicia: I have not!! Even though I am an absolute klutz.

Megan: I haven’t either!  Which is amazing because I have fallen out of a tree - totally sober, btw.

Anitah:  Drink up, Megs!

Megs: finishes her drink … Okay, never have I ever told my real life husband/partner about my pixelated hubby.

Gen: No, he already thinks I don't love him. This would prove it.

Pam: Yep! My hubby is actually super supportive. He has helped me plot a few fics...the Drake and Pam chocolate wax disaster was made exponentially better by his suggestions. He is known as our cinnamon roll and Gen wrote him into a fic as owning a cinnamon roll shop..LOL. When Drake and I eloped, I made him call me Mrs. Walker the entire weekend and would not respond to any other names. I'm such an asshole

Anitah: (laughing) No way! He knows nothing! He doesn’t know about choices or that I’m in love with a pixelated man. He doesn’t know about tumblr or that I write. No one I know in real life knows anything about this. It’s like...my dirty little secret.

Alicia: yes and no. He does know about choices, he does know about Leo.. he does not know my level of infatuation with him.

Megs:  Yup!  My husband often asks “are you playing your stories?”

~~~~~later~~~~~

Megs:  lifting her head off the armrest of the couch and blinking her eyes open hhhhhuh?  Where …?  Ooooh, my head is killing me … How is my studio back to how it looked before?  Was that a dream?  Megs gets up and pads over to her on-stage desk where she picks up a note and reads aloud, “You passed out shortly after our game.  We partied hard with your audience and then put your studio back together.  Whenever you want to do this again - let us know.  I’ll steal the jet.  Luv, CGW!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now for the tags! If you want to be added to the tag list for these or removed, please let me know!

@hopefulmoonobject @queen-among-writers, @hopelessromantic1352, @lilyofchoices,

[coldinthestudio]

How did you become such a good writer? I hear a lot about writing workshops, but I was wondering if you had any experience that might have encouraged your writing to be so good?

Awww! That’s so sweet of you! Hahah thanks for the compliment :)  Ummm, to be perfectly honest?? This isn’t very helpful for people just starting out with writing, but I’ve been writing since I was legit like 3 years old. I’ve been writing almost as long as I’ve been talking - I even have a bone in my middle finger that formed wrong in it’s developmental stages because that’s where I hold a pen or pencil, and I wrote so much as a kid that the bone became deformed. This is gross, but here’s a picture haha: 

Ok that literally just looks like I’m flipping off the camera, but that knob at the tip is where my bone got all fucked up because of how long I’ve been writing haha. Ignore my nasty nail beds.  So I guess to answer your question, I’ve never really done anything like classes or practice to improve my writing - it’s something that just kind of flows with me. I’ve been doing it as long as I can remember.  I can list out some advice that might be helpful to people just starting out? These are some rules I live by:   1) READ READ READ - I never realized how much reading helps my writing until I binge read like 800 fanfics in one year and my writing improved exponentially. So seriously, READ.  2) When you’re writing, never go for the obvious. Don’t just say someone is angry, say something like...”their eyes are flashing with carefully concealed torrents of fury”...or something. That sounds sooo cheesy when I write it out like that, but literally, SHOW, don’t tell. It’s not just raining outside - “the skies have finally cracked and dirty rivulets of rainwater are carrying discarded cigarette butts along the city gutters like ships run aground”. Metaphors and similes are your BEST FRIEND in writing. You can play with them soooo much - just be careful not to go overboard. It’s okay to just say someone is angry or that it’s just raining, but if you want to hold a reader’s attention, mix it up and don’t write something bland like, “Tom woke up. It was raining outside. He was angry, because his alarm didn’t go off. He got out of bed and stomped to the shower...” etc. Know what I mean? You’re an artist painting a picture with words. You’re not giving a lecture, you’re creating art. Make it pretty! #metaphors  <- Trend that shit.  3) When you’re writing a scene, don’t just write it, SEE it. See it in your head. People don’t just sit stiffly and talk like robots when they’re having a conversation. People DO things - people fidget. “Sally ponders what Phil said, chewing on the inside of her cheek mindlessly and brushing a stray hair back from her face. She feels a swell of uncertainty grow in her chest like a flower that only blooms at night, under the mask of the moon.”  Oh my GOD everything I write here sounds so cheesy - but does that make sense? You really have to SEE it in your head when you’re writing. Like you’re watching a movie in your own brain. And then translate everything you’re seeing to paper. Not just the surface things like dialogue - when people are talking, there’s a fly on the wall. A clock is ticking, there’s a train horn in the distance, the wind picks up outside, someone crosses their arms to hide what they’re thinking, the oven dings in the next room, someone shakes their head and bites their thumbnail, someone notices the wallpaper is peeling in the corner and goes to pick at it, etc etc etc. You have a whole setting to play with, you just have to close your eyes and see it.  4)  And when you’re actually writing a story, you have the advantage of planting little seeds of internal emotions going on in your characters. In movies, it’s hard to really get a good internal monologue from the characters. But in writing, you can dig as deep as you want into your character’s brains. And that’s REALLY fun, so play with it. Characterization is soooo important. Plot is important too, but who gives a fuck about a plot if a reader doesn’t really care what happens to the characters living the plot? I spend a lot of time on characterization - I’m especially fond of giving characters tragic backstories :P It makes them so interesting to write, I feel like a puppeteer. And you can reveal their backstories any way you wish, whether it be flashbacks, PTSD, looking through old photos, etc. Even through a conversation with another character. They’re literally Playdoh, mold them however you want, that’s the best part.  5)   Foreshadowing is your friend too. I make sure I have stories outlined before I start writing them. That doesn’t mean you have to outline it to a T - it just means you have a basic idea of beginning, middle, and end. You know how the story is going to end and all the little secrets you plan to reveal in between. That’s not to say that some of the magic doesn’t happen WHILE you’re writing (for example, in Hautley’s Bend, the squash lady was completely unplanned - she just happened unexpectedly while I was writing). But it’s fun to drop little cliffhangers, and foreshadowing in stories. It keeps people engaged. And if you have a basic idea of how your story is going to go (I call it the “skeleton” of the story, and while you’re writing, you add on all the meat) it prevents continuity errors too, which is important.  I think that’s all I can manage to pull out of my ass right now - hopefully some of that is helpful! Sorry I kind of rambled haha.  But I guess most importantly, write for YOU. Yes, it’s good to have a basic audience type in mind (ie: who you think will read your story), but ultimately, the story is coming from you, and you’re allowed to make it go in any direction you want, regardless of who you piss off or offend or whatever. Don’t look at writing your story as a chore - I spend a lot of time daydreaming about stories in my head, to the point where characters and scenes feel REAL to me (call me crazy, idk haha). When I’m driving to work, I listen to music and find songs that fit certain scenes in my stories, or songs that would go well with a certain character. You just have to find inspiration everywhere, and really immerse yourself in what you’re writing. I spend more time just daydreaming about my stories than I do actually writing them (which I wouldn’t advise because, ya know, I never get any writing done lol). But you get the point.  Okay I’ll shut up now. If you want any more advice or anything, feel free to message me :) I don’t know if any of the above is helpful, but I tried haha. 

[thedeskside]

My March Rotation: Current Reads

My reading list for March is all over the place. I've been reached out to by some PR reps for some interesting books, and I've also been meaning to get around to a few others as well. The great thing about books is that they're pretty timeless, so even if you're late to the game, there will still be a game. Since January 1st, I told myself that I NEEDED to read more, for my sanity and health. I love reading, and I didn't "have the time". AKA, I spent most of my time binge watching something. Instead, every time I felt like watching something mindlessly I would instead pick up a book. I like to read based on my mood as well. Some times I need to be inspired, other times I need to get away, and then there are the times that I just want to read something silly. So I spend my months rotating a few books, and when I'm about to reach the end I look into new ones so I always have a full stack. While I prefer a physical book with binding and pages, I have to admit my budget sometimes only has room for a Kindle version. So, why the hell not? I like the idea of switching back and forth, and also carrying my books with me on my phone and tablet. Let's face it, my tote bags are heavy enough without sticking a 400-page turner in it as well. This is my current rotation, along with a few others I'm trying to wrap up from last month as well. Don't judge me, February was a pretty busy month for me! :) Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert - Yes, I am SOOOO late on this bandwagon. I get it, but I freaking made it, okay? And I am so happy that I finally started this. I haven't heard a single bad thing about Big Magic, and everyone I spoke to made it seem like it was some major part of their creative life. I think they're right. I'm about half way through this book, and I have to say that I have enjoyed every minute. I take work breaks while writing to read this and give my self a little boost. The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo - Again...so late to this game as well. I finished this a few days, and I liked it. It wasn't life changing at all, but it was a bit useful. And I definitely wanted to get into a crazy everything-must-go frenzy, but  never actually did it. In the Company of Women by Grace Bonney - I love interior design, but totally suck at it. My interests and tastes are just all over the place and un focused. But I love Design Sponge and when I heard this book was coming out I was so excited! I love that so many incredible women had short snippets of their passion and work lives in one place. I finished this book in one day, and I will definitely keep it as a reference for the moments I need to be picked up by some strong, incredible women. I Actually Wore This by Tom Coleman - Okay, I love looking at old pictures and blaming my mom for dressing me like a clown. But I hate admitting to some of the crap I insisted on wearing myself. This book is such a fun take on some awesome people's worst fashion mistakes. I think fashion gets such a bad rap sometimes for being snooty, and this proves that we all have fun and make mistakes. I flip through it every now and then before going to bed. The Introvert Entrepreneur by Beth Buelow - As a woman in communications...I've made it clear that I am not a people person, and yes that's so weird. I get it, sometimes it doesn't make sense that I am in this industry. But I think that's what people like about me as well. I'm not ashamed of my anti-social antics, I've learned to embrace it. I had this book in my Amazon cart forever, and finally bought the paperback. I'm not that far into, but I already love what I'm learning about myself and how I can use my 'weakness' as a strength. It's Not About Time by Nan S. Russell - I believe this is a newer release. I received a press release about it, and was sent the digital book. I love reading business books to help me rework my brain and strategies. Time management has never been a major problem for me, but this book is making me think of time in an even better way. Maybe I didn't have a problem, but that doesn't mean that I can't do better! Goats of Anarchy by Leanne Lauricella - This is possibly the only Instagram turned book I'll ever want to read. I received a press release of this book a while back, and just by the title I knew that I HAD to give it a shot. Who knew reading about a goat rescue farm could be the highlight of your day? All of her goats have adorable names, and frankly this is an inspiring read!