#people are lunatics on purpose I swear

[getting-messi]

Messi about to win another award today and I already know people are going to have the shittiest takes

Let this prepare you for when he gets bdo #8🤭🤧

[lepartidelamort]

US Now Saying the Obvious: Instead of Telling Jews to Stop Killing, They Will Just Bring Gazans to America

Andrew Anglin

Someone please ask fat retarded Republican Jew-lovers if they want millions more Arab immigrants.

Because that is what their lunatic support for the mass murder of children in Gaza is going to lead to.

How stupid? How fat?

What is the purpose of supporting Israel? Why would you support the sickening Jews of all people? If you were going to support anyone murdering children, why the Jews, who hate you, who think you’re an animal that was born only to serve them?

If it’s “Evangelical Christianity,” you can forget it, because I know for a fact no one believes that horseshit anymore, save maybe the fattest of the fatties. All of these Zionist mega-churches are either closed down or filled with Mexicans, and Mexicans don’t have opinions on anything.

From the beginning of this nightmare, it was obvious that the government was going to move towards massive immigration of the Palestinians. The Jews are telling you “these are human animals and they’re all terrorists” – then the Jews turn around and tell you they’re sending them over to move in next door to you.

The Gazans do not even want to leave. But you’re going to bring them here, to the country that funded bombing their homes and killing their families?

New York Post:

Top Biden administration officials are mulling over plans to potentially welcome into the US a small number of Palestinians fleeing the region amid the bloody Israel-Hamas war, according to a report. One idea officials floated over recent weeks is to tap into the United States Refugee Admissions Program to grant refugee status to those who escaped the Gaza Strip into Egypt, CBS News reported, citing documents. That effort would likely require cooperation with Egypt. Palestinians who have family in the US may also get admittance, per the report. US officials have reportedly been considering various arrangements to that effect and multiple federal agencies are involved with the plans. To gain entrance into the US, would-be refugees would likely need to pass screenings assessing their medical condition, eligibility, and any security concerns.

Yeah, sure.

No one else is passing any screenings. People just walk across the border.

They would also likely have to provide evidence that they are fleeing some form of persecution. That could prove tricky for individuals who claim to be fleeing persecution from Israel, which is a key US ally in the region. Individuals may be able to claim they are fleeing Hamas, which the US designates as a terrorist organization.

Haha.

Refugee status provides individuals the ability to gain permanent residence in the US, an avenue towards citizenship, and financial assistance. Such a policy would mark a dramatic shift for the US refugee program, which has generally not permitted Palestinians into the country en masse.

Again, it was obvious from the beginning.

Jew-lovers are willing to sacrifice anything for the Jews. It is like satanic possession. They will destroy their own children to help the Jews kill children.

That psychopathic dweeb Mike Johnson says he believes it’s his duty “as a Christian” to service the Jews in the most disgusting ways a man can comprehend, as well as in filthy modes beyond human comprehension.

This is disqualifying. You cannot have a top political official who follows a religion that requires him to swear allegiance to a foreign country. That is just obviously not viable.

What if he thought the Bible said that Chinese people were the chosen ones, and it was the duty of the US to send infinity money to China? Do you see that this is not workable? You cannot have government officials swearing allegiance to a foreign country.

The Arabs that come over through this program (which will obviously be more than just Palestinians) should be sent to live in the neighborhoods of Jew-lovers. No one else deserves this. Everyone else was saying the Jews should be defunded and boycotted.

[squish36-writes-and-draws]

23 November: Unraveling

Word Count: 733

TW: 1 fairly mild swear, unreality cameras

General Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously

@poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @corruption-exe @rusted-phone-calls

@when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes

@callum-hunt-is-bisexual @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @sillyguy-supreme

@void-kill @thefoxysnake @the-pre-quiz

Unraveling Project Specific Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed/upgraded): @cutebisexualmess @crippling-pages @daizythegreat @sophiefostersno1stan @iggydancebreak

@theleopardstalker @you-will-meet-your-downfall @multi-fandom-lunatic

On Ao3 or below the cut!

First (3 November) / Previous / Next

Another Keefe Transcript

    This time, Keefe is frolicking through the streets of Florence. Which is to say, he’s sat on a street corner the entire time looking sad. He hasn’t even gone exploring the tourist traps, and it’s not like those are difficult to find. He’s literally two blocks away from some big giant dome building that probably has a horribly fancy name based on the sheer vibes it gives off. 

    He just sits there. It is difficult to know how to feel about this development as it is of his own doing, but it is understandable why he came to the conclusion he did. It is an incorrect conclusion, but still a reasonable one. Gisela has this whole shadowflux magic thing to keep tabs on him, but the delay is still a bit annoying. There is a nonzero chance that he chooses to leap to a new icty and throw himself in front of a bus before the alarm goes off, and he is increasingly looking like that may occur. 

    This would be a tad bit unfortunate for scientific research purposes. Rerunning the experiment would be quite a hassle. Then again, a sample size of one is almost worthless in the larger picture. 

    Enough waxing poetic about the pointlessness of even bothering to write down these records. It is not as though it will be useful at any future point in time, and yet it is still a task to be completed. And, as such, it shall be completed. 

    It seems as though yet another human has taken an interest in Keefe. What reason she may have is as of yet unknown, but considering how this has played out twice in the last three weeks, it is not difficult to see how it might go. That, of course, is presuming that Keefe and Florent’s dynamic was of a romantic nature, which is currently still up for debate. It would, however, not be particularly surprising if it were, given the available evidence and Keefe’s marked tendency to disregard elvin cultural norms when it is convenient for him. 

    This new human has not revealed her name quite yet, which makes transcription more difficult, but anyone who is willing to walk up to Keefe and nearly get into a fistfight is worthy of a modicum of respect. Unfortunately, the speakers are not of the greatest quality, and the topic of the argument currently remains undetermined, but knowing Keefe, it was probably something incredibly inconsequential. 

    The only audio that was able to be parsed was the human, after roundly winning the fight, asking Keefe if, “You want to go get some coffee?” 

    Keefe refused this offer. It is unclear whether this is to avoid personal attachments or because he was trying to protect his own ego. Both may have played a role in his decision. It is quite likely that Keefe will be filling out a diary entry directly based on this event, which may have more information to provide further insight into these events, as soon as it is within the field of view. 

Keefe Sencen's Journal

    It is quite often that I am taken aback by beautiful people and, in doing so, I start the stupidest arguments to ever occur. Case in point: I had a fun time trying to defend my opinion that Stracciatella is the only gelato flavour to exist. I no longer acknowledge the existence of any others. 

    Anyway it’s my luck that I managed to find Lodo, who is apparently just as determined as I am to cause problems on purpose. 

    And, to top it all off, they asked me out afterwards. Like I have the emotional bandwidth for that. I really did want to accept their proposal though. It would’ve been absolutely lovely. We would’ve gotten into so many pointless fights. 

    They’re also just unfairly pretty. I do level that criticism against most everyone, but that does mean it still applies. I hope I never see them again. I may be a stubborn bastard, but I am also so bad at sticking to decisions I've made when the other option would be far stupider and far, far more entertaining. 

    I’ll be fine. I’ll figure it out. 

    I think I just want to make myself feel something again, even if that something is hopeless longing for a relationship I’ll never be able to attain in the way I want it. It’s been a long few days.

[we-are-swearwolves]

Leo’s Plant Corner

Finn/Leo/Logan: plants and domesticity and social media mishaps (G)

Inspired by me finding new leaves on a fiddle leaf I thought was dead 😌🪴 characters belong to @lumosinlove 💘

It was an understandable mistake, really.

Alex was grounded in the Atlanta airport, texting everyone he fucking knew for hours as he tried to get on a flight back to New York.

Finn had been sending him videos all afternoon. Multiple snapchats with some version of the phrase ‘sucks to suck 💞’, Leo’s straight faced reactions to an awful selection of puns, himself dancing like a lunatic to a new Taylor Swift song (“I finally understand Lo’s secret obsession now, ok I get it, Peanut Butter.”).

Hell, he’d even gone so far as to scroll through the videos he kept on his phone and edit together a compilation of Lo saying ‘Tabarnak’ in various contexts and inflections.

So, you see it was reasonable for Logan to think that Finn was filming a video for Alex.

When Leo had first moved north, he’d had a hard time not seeing the stars, not feeling the heat, and being away from his parents, which were all things that couldn’t be fixed, though goddamnit did Finn and his thermostat try.

One thing Finn could fix though, was the greenery.

Central Gryff wasn’t exactly known for its lush landscape, and once Leo realized that one of the things he was missing was all the green, Finn had gone what might be called ‘apeshit’ at a nearby nursery.

A lot of their plants died on the regular, seeing as they were gone so fucking much, but the majority of them did make it and both Finn and Leo were very proud.

Heartthrob status or no, Finn didn’t go live on Instagram very often, but for a brief period of time at the start of Leo’s rookie season, there were short plant tours and updates every other week or so, mostly to make Leo laugh.

They hadn’t done it in forever, although he got comments requesting “new episodes of Leo’s plant corner? 🥺” semi-regularly.

This particular morning, however, there was such a significant plant development (and Finn had his goddamn phone out anyway) that they thought fuck it.

The number of people who must have had notifications turned on for Finn’s lives must being truly fucking ridiculous for how many viewers they immediately had.

Finn put on a truly ridiculous wrestling announcer voice and began the same way he always had, “Welcome, to Leo Knut’s plant corner!!! Bauw bauw-bauw bauwwww!”

Literally thousands of hearts showed on his screen.

“Alright listen, what y’all have to understand is that I thought this fiddle leaf was over, ok?” Leo’s accent was coming out just a little stronger than usual and it was so fucking cute, “He’s been strugglin’ since we got him, what was that, Harz, almost two years ago? Anyway, no growth at all, dropping leaves all the time, lookin’ kind of pathetic—“

Finn tried to keep the phone steady even though he was quietly losing his shit laughing.

“—shuddup Harzy, it was sad!” And then he looked back to the camera, “Finn was sad for him y’all, I swear. Ok so anyway this morningggg,” Leo stepped to the side and gestured proudly to said pathetic plant, “I come out here, and this lil guy had not one, not two, not three, but FOUR new baby leaves up top!”

Finn zoomed for emphasis, saying, “Baby leaves,” with what he hoped was enough awe to satisfy Leo.

“Baby leaves! I said what I said! Look at them! They’re so small and they’re new.”

Thousands more virtual hearts, which Finn thought was understandable.

“Baby leaves though?”

Leo liked making Finn laugh just as much as Finn liked making Leo laugh so he pushed on, ridiculous on purpose, hand gestures big and expressive.

“Yes, these are baby leaves, ok? Look at them! I’m so proud of this goddamn plant, I thought he was a goner and here he is with children,” (Finn was laughing so fucking hard now) “For fucks sake, Harzy, this man is a father!”

Finn couldn’t contain the sounds any longer and neither could Leo as they both broke character and just giggled and giggled and giggled.

It was probably for the best that neither of them were paying attention to the thirsty comments the IG viewers were leaving, that they didn’t see just how many people were at that moment offering to make them fathers.

“Merde, what the fuck?”

The sound of their laughter had woken Logan up from where he’d been lightly snoozing just a room away.

Finn threw out a, “Now with special guest… Logannnn Tremblaaay!” To which he got an eyebrow raise that he somehow understood to be in French.

Leo quickly caught Logan up on their new leaf children, Lo’s expression getting softer with each word.

See, it had been so long since Finn and Leo’s last plant show and what with Finn sending Alex videos all day, it really was understandable that Lo would speak freely even knowing he was being recorded.

“Mon dieu, Peanut, if this is the reaction for baby plants, I cannot imagine how you guys will be when we have our family, I mean fuck.”

Finn and Leo both froze.

“What?”

Both their mouths dropped open.

“What? It’s not like we haven’t talked about— Baby, why are you looking at me like that?”

Finn looked dazed and used his free hand to point to his phone somewhat ridiculously.

“Video,” was the only word he could get out though.

“Yeah, no shit, you’ve been sending Alex videos all day.”

Finn stared.

Leo stared.

Logan didn’t know it at the time, but thousands of people at home watching on their phones also stared.

“It’s…” Logan’s eyes got a little bigger then, alarm beginning to work its way into his face, “…it’s for Alex. Right? Finn,” Lo was serious now, “Finn… you’re recording a video for Alex.”

Later, upon reflection, there were a lot of things Logan would wish had gone differently that day (it wasn’t how he imagined they’d come out).

One specific thing, however, was the fact that the fucking face he made when Finn finally managed to say, “Nope,” as Leo said, “Sweetheart, oh my god,” would become a meme that would haunt him for years.

He was a little bit right though, Alex did love that video.

[scarletwritesshit]

Yosuke Hanamura x F!Reader ❀ Town of Blossoms ❀ June 6th, 2013

Junes looked the exact same as it did yesterday. You weren’t expecting much to change at all, nor did you care if anything did. The sun had shown you some mercy on this dull afternoon, as it was a few degrees cooler than it had been the past few days. Perfect opportunity to grab some ice cream while the temperatures remained mild. Obviously, you had no intention of sitting alone in the food court, as you arrived a bit early to catch Yosuke before his break.

He was tending to the fresh flower display, clearly immersed in his own world as he was unaware of your presence. It wouldn’t hurt to go ahead and say hi to him, yet, it felt like an unknown force was holding you back. In the midst of your internal conflict, you quietly observed him shuffling around various flower arrangements in the display. He was muttering something to himself as he reorganized and straightened out the thoroughly disheveled flower cooler.

“Can’t people just slide them back in properly like a proper human and not an entitled lunatic…It’s not that hard…

“I swear whoever made these arrangements needs to be fired. They’re such an eyesore…”

After filling a row with premade bouquets, Yosuke held a bundle of white hydrangeas and observed them, as if he became lost in thought. He kept looking between the variety bouquets that he had neatly arranged in the cooler and the bundle that he held in his hand.

“It’s pretty bad when bundles consisting of only one type of flower are more visually appealing than those mashed together messes. Even then, these still cannot compare to the prettiest thing that I have ever seen,” he said, shoving them into the display.

“To be fair, they are kind of bland,” you said.

“Oh, uh…hey,” Yosuke said, startled by your presence. “Just…how long have you been standing there?”

“I only just got here. Figured I’d ask if you wanted to grab some ice cream together again since the weather has eased up a little.”

“I’m down. Perfect chance to gaze upon something far more attractive than these organic eyesores.”

You expected a comment like this from him, yet he still managed to catch you off guard. Yosuke could be referring to anything being better looking than those flowers, considering his apparent distaste for the agreeably ugly bouquets being sold. Then again, Dojima could’ve put some ideas into his head with his relentless teasing that you had unfortunately been a witness to the day prior.

It’s just Yosuke being Yosuke. No sense into digging much into it, as he was always known to be like this.

Regardless, you can thank Dojima for making you feel so awkward about everything and anything regarding a simple trip to Junes today. Whether or not he realized it, he had managed to back you into a corner as well. Though the majority of his teasing wasn’t directly aimed at you, it still left you in a tough spot of wanting to relieve Yosuke of his suffering but also holding back until the time was right.

Weren’t you proving Dojima’s suspicions correct by heading to Junes yet again with the sole purpose of seeing Yosuke during his afternoon break? You could no longer deny that he was the reason you were heading down practically every day now. In fact, it was a possibility that his coworkers could start taking note, endangering what little reputation Yosuke still has.

Even though he claimed to be used to it, that was still no excuse for something not to be done to ease his burden of isolation. No more attention should be given to his coworkers than necessary, however. That would ultimately result in making them even more suspicious, despite them being correct about something obviously going on.

With all things considered, what would be the wise decision to make? Heading to Junes for the fourth day in a row, of course. If this keeps up, it would practically become a second home to you. Your visits were for only about an hour every day, but most people would do their best to avoid such a bustling place, especially in this weather.

“I can’t blame you,” you said, disregarding his side comment, “I’d want some fresh air after dealing with a face full of pollen myself.”

“Ugh…I don’t even know why you would want to give someone these allergy inducing menaces in the first place, when there are far better gifts to offer a lady.”

“Like you would know anything about buying something for a girl. Have you even tried it for yourself?”

“Not…exactly, but I can change that right now if you’d like.”

“I didn’t mean it like you had to buy me something, but I’m curious to hear what your idea is right now.”

It was clear from Yosuke’s silence that he was at a loss. He continued shuffling around the flowers with no real intent, as to distract himself from your presence while he thought of an answer.

“Uh, I can pay for ice cream today, if that would make you happy?”

“Well, wouldn’t it be wrong to make you pay for it? I am the one who initially approached you with the idea to get some after all.”

“Yeah but, it would be a nice chance to make a girl close to me smile without some lame overpriced flowers. Besides, that’s what you would rather have, isn’t it? I’d be more likely to bring you happiness with something you wanted rather than something so cliché.”

It was quite surprising how fast he caught on, especially for someone with as awful luck as he had with girls.

“Don’t feel like you’re obligated to do this for me,” you said, “I merely jest in good spirit.”

“I’d do this for you regardless. Spending a few yen in exchange for making my closest friend smile is more than worth it. Beats any kind of flower, arranged or not, any day of the week.”

“You don’t have to. Really.”

“I insist,” Yosuke said with a wink. “It’s close enough to my usual break time if you would like to go now. We can probably beat the afternoon rush this way.”

It didn’t seem like he was willing to back down on his offer, so you reluctantly agreed. You had no intention of actually getting something out of him, as you were merely bickering with him as usual. Still, it wasn’t unusual for him to go out of his way and offer you the occasional lunch when you two did hang out together, despite your insistence on paying for your end of the deal.

You knew that he has been dedicated to saving for a real motorcycle for quite some time now, yet he was always enthusiastic to take you out to lunch. A few yen being thrown around cannot be detrimental to his long-term savings, yet a part of you felt bad, worried that he may eventually think of you taking advantage of his generosity. It amazed you how he was so willing, considering how Chie had quite literally robbed him of his hard-earned money multiple times in the past.

He was doing this of his own choosing, though, and it would be cruel to deny such a sweet man of his kindness.

The line was nonexistent, as he had successfully predicted, which had allowed for the two of you to order quickly while being spared from becoming slow cooked. Yosuke stepped aside once you had reached the counter, letting you place your order first.

“Get whatever you would like. It’s on me,” he said.

“Well, in that case, I’ll just take a normal sized cone.”

“That’s it? Even after offering to get you whatever you wanted?”

“That is exactly what I want. A simple cone, nothing more, nothing less.”

“That’s…a bit unexpected. I thought that you would jump at a chance for an overpriced steak platter.”

You shook your head no in response. You did come just for ice cream, and you weren’t about to buy out the entire food court just because he might be willing to. A simple mission, acquire a cone and spend some time with Yosuke, was all that you had in mind, and you’ve managed to accomplish it successfully. There was no reason to take things a step further than your original genuine intentions.

“If you’re sure…” he said, before turning to face the cashier. “I’ll have the same myself.”

The food court was thankfully empty at this hour. No soul brave enough to withstand the heat was to be found, and so you and Yosuke had the entire area to yourselves. The ice cream, though melting fast, made the summer heat slightly more tolerable, though it still wasn’t the most pleasant weather that it has ever been. Ultimately, sitting out here away from the crowds and the potential of an unwanted visitor was the superior option for the well being of both your sanity and Yosuke’s

The two of you sat in relative silence. You tried to think of a good conversation topic, but alas, life has been so bland as of late that nothing interesting came to mind. To be fair, there’s not much that can be expected to happen when well over half of the town was taking shelter from the weather. You wondered, why did the weather always seem to be a source of inconvenience for you, in more ways than one? First, it was the fog practically poisoning all of Inaba nearly two years ago, now it was the summer heat all throughout Japan that had the potential to kill those unfortunate enough.

As you attempted to keep up with eating your melting dessert, you glanced over at Yosuke, who also seemed to have nothing of note on his mind as well. You wondered if he was waiting for you to say something, which would be unfortunate as you were at a loss yourself. An awkward stalemate it was, but this is to be expected when you quite literally talk to each other every day.

Boredom. Wasn’t this one of the things that he feared most?

There had to be something that you could do to keep things from getting too stale. It wasn’t even a week into the month of June, and conversation topics were already beginning to run dry.

Is this the reason why the Investigation Team had lost interest in each other so quick?

Is this the reason why you and Yosuke found yourselves practically alone shortly after the case was closed?

No, you need to get it together. There’s a reason why your bond managed to stand the test of time.

After Yosuke finished his cone, he laid back in his chair and stared off in the direction of the road that ran in front of the Junes food court. He was lazily watching what few cars passed by, but you wondered if something was lingering in his thoughts. Curious, you prodded him with a question to break some of the silence.

“Hana, is something on your mind?”

“Oh, not really,” he said while still gazing upon the relatively quiet road. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re awfully quiet. I was worried that something was wrong for a sec.”

“Nah, all’s good. I’m just taking this time to relax and enjoy myself. It’s been such a pain in the ass in there lately that sitting out here with the court practically to ourselves is a nice change of pace.”

“You’re not…bored out of your mind or anything?”

“Not in the slightest. Sometimes you just gotta take in the sights and relax, you know?”

You weren’t really buying his explanation.

“And those sights being…watching traffic.”

“Okay, I guess I can’t beat around the bush here. What I really meant to say is that I like to just…sit out here and be content hanging out with you, you know? No forced bullshit conversations or anything, just merely being happy with each other’s presence. Though if I really wanted to take in a marvelous sight, I could turn my chair to the side.”

“Wouldn’t doing that just make things a hundred times more awkward than they are right now?”

“Who even said that I was awkward in the first place…but that’s not the point. I don’t have to worry about feeling dreadfully lonely with someone I care about willing to stay by my side, even if we are just sitting outside in almost complete silence for the duration of my free time.”

“Beats sitting alone.”

“In every way possible, yes. It’s nothing too crazy, but for some reason, all of my lingering worries are immediately put to rest. Just having you hang out with me for a little bit is enough to lift my spirits…”

The absolute temptation to jump at a chance to finally speak up about your true feelings was slowly starting to overpower your rationality. A sudden confession was a bit much for a casual afternoon, and if it’s anything that solving the murders of Inaba has taught you, it’s to not be impulsive with your actions and jump to conclusions. His words have bought you a sense of relief, knowing that your presence alone was enough to be comforting to him without frequent conversation necessary to reinforce your strong bond.

“I’m glad to hear that. Sometimes, I worry that I don’t do enough for you,” you admitted.

“What do you mean? You’ve done plenty, no, more than what I could possibly ask for. Just the fact that you’re willing to stick with my stupid ass says a lot.”

“Of course I’m always willing to stick with you. You’re an irreplaceable friend of mine. Dull conversations and pollen filled plants have no chance in hell at changing that fact.”

“You’re still on that flower thing, aren’t you? Sometimes I wonder if you’ve been keeping this up just because a part of my name literally means ‘blossom.’”

“It’s fitting for a man like you, considering how the flowers blooming this year have been quite beautiful.”

“If that’s your argument, then I suppose that I should hand over the Hanamura family name to you.”

“You idiot. I can’t just take someone’s last name just because I find it pretty.”

“Well, in a way you can, if there is mutual agreement between two people that they find beauty in each other somehow…”

Now, he was starting to confuse you. Why would Yosuke use flowers as a representation of beauty if just earlier, he was complaining about them being unable to compare to…

Actually, he never did exactly specify what he was referring to.

“And here I thought you hated flowers,” you said, smugly. “Want me to go grab those white hydrangeas and shove them in your face since you apparently love them so much?”

“N-no, I think I’ll pass on your offer. Let’s just…forget I ever bought that up and enjoy what little peace we have away from that overcrowded building.”

Without another word being exchanged until your final farewells that afternoon, the two of you relaxed under the shade watching the world slowly pass by. Despite it not being an entertaining afternoon, relatively speaking, it was far superior to forcing him to engage in pointless conversation in a desperate attempt for you to communicate your feelings.

After all, maybe quiet moments like this were just what you and Yosuke needed to understand each other better.

Or maybe, that mutual understanding has long since been present.

[darknessillumina]

Random Sh!t

My introspective methods absorb the sins Splash the clit with the quick whiplash of the torture whips Formless fist implementing more levels with words Slay the Devils with swords and disassemble the source to bits Storms of scorns as I resist the impeccable forces here Horridness horrid indeed, survive a night in the Purge I'll write my rhymes and recite the curse, a sight of myself In an good mood is rarer than sightings of Bigfoot Mood swings, swing the mood, I'm a lunatic loon With no purposes in life guided by the light of the dimly lit moon Fanatic at the edge of depression swim in my own seas of sins Darth Sidious with his evil intentions to reborn the wicked Torn my visions as I'm sitting in temples where monks lived The Grudge might be evil thoughts of stabbing you with a knife Impaling you in the spiked steeple, for how long I will Keep hating people for no reason, why I keep Waving food and water next to African borders? Seeing all these kids with thin ribs Fighting each other's a horror, time's out Fly clouds to the South's Aurora's Ten bodies of bitches found in ditches with more signs of horror Multiple helicopter chops dilacerates your vortex More caps, I'm announcin' your face deformin' I swear if you insist more cysts will be formin' More Jordan's got your ass bragging more about fortunes All I see is optic illusions with loud distortions Pound in the floor and hellhounds will roar Why gettin' twenties workin' in that bitch Wendy's That's not enough to sustain, I got my brain pain The hatred's intense, I'm often lazy and upset then Wet by dense rain and enforcin' my nines firin' I'm eye-gougin' I'm as bad as Sing Sing Or I'm Bad when MJ sings? I am destined to pain My nails bend twisted and bleeds when I grab things I'm in an elevator being recorded by a security camera Who is recording me all excited punching the iron door I want to jump a kindergarten and hit the axe right in they skin sores If Jesus and Satan are arguing for President I will be pro-Hell Put a jetpack strapped to my back and press the button to propel Bye world

[jerzwriter]

When discussing, please note Books 1-2 will always be a different conversation than Book 3. I firmly believe the writer of 3 never read the first two. I think they gave her a PowerPoint presentation, and she went to town, and it showed. The character assassination in 3 was not limited to Ethan, but he is the biggest target (likely because he had the most time - especially in 3 ). The writer had no clue what they were doing, and it's really pathetic that PB OK'd it. It was obvious they just didn't care.

All that aside, I'm not stupid (and I'm not saying you said I was); I am aware that systemic racism is very, very real, and white supremacy is pretty much the cornerstone of our society. So, oftentimes, even well-meaning, educated, non-racist people have biases they can't even see. With that said, do I think OH was created to build up the white character? Or was it a story that was created to center around Ethan? I don't know, and no matter how much any of us insist we do, we don't. My gut says it was a story created around the character/pairing, and the others were afterthoughts. IMO, Ethan should have been race-customizable and gender-customizable from the start. Then this wouldn't be an issue at all. Was it purposely decided not to go that route? If so, your point could be more valid. But... we don't know.

I don't even talk about Book 3. As I said above, the writer didn't know Book 3 so how can I even take it seriously? Elijah, Harper, Ethan, and even Bryce had points where they were so OOC it was almost unbearable.

I just think the Ethan debate in the fandom gets INSANE. Both sides have lunatic contingencies and I swear those people seem to forget he isn't real. It's just pathetic and the fact that it still continues when there are like 30 people left in the fandom is sad.

I'm curious, though. You mention the difference in Jackie having consequences (keep in mind, that could be misogyny as much as it could be racism because PB just LOVES misogyny). But did Raf ever face any comeuppance if you were romancing him and he showed up unannounced with Sora? (I never played with Raf as an LI, so I don't know.) I do know my MC never had a chance to say, "Why the fuck did you just kiss me?" to Bryce when I hadn't romanced him at all at that point. Again, I think a lot more can be chalked up to the fact that 9 out of 10 times, PB puts out crap - yet we are here eating it up.

You're not wrong. Moderating CFWC I'm well aware of the most popular stories and LIs in the fandom. It doesn't take much for anyone to figure them out. Shining a light on that is unnecessary. It almost feels like an instigation, and, if it was, mission accomplished.

In the end, I think a lot of the bitterness in the fandom comes from people on both sides feeling attacked/hurt by people on the other side. And you know what? Some people on both sides have attacked, are insane, and are purposely hurtful. There are no good and bad guys here, and as I always say, I know because I've been attacked and maligned by both sides. OK, this is already FAR longer than I intended it to be lol So I'm gonna shut up now.

I think anon is referring to that *one* confession about Ethan. Because in the rb and # people were saying that it was because he's white and "that says a lot about us" 🥲

Hey there.

Like I said in my previous answer, unless it is someone whose opinion you value, and who you would go to for advice? Take it with a grain of salt and move on with your day.

I could say everyone who favors (insert character) has crabs. It wouldn’t make it true. Same with these assertions. It is crazy talk. Don’t let it bother you.

I am not saying it doesn’t sting when people say nasty, false things about you. It does. But take Elsa’s advice and let it go.

They don’t know you, and have zero right to judge you. The fact that they do says a lot about THEM, and that’s based in fact, not fantasy.

Oh, and again… use unfollow and block liberally. Protect your own peace.

Chin up. 😊

[strawberry--bride]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Haunted Dark Bridal ー Sharon’s Route [PROLOGUE]

Monologue

The most painful thing in this world,

is losing your home. Your place-to-be.

No matter how dire the situation,

if you are surrounded by people who love and care for you.

No obstacle is invincible. 

Then ーー Where do I belong?

Having long lost the place I once considered home.

I spent many years in a place which would provide for me. 

I had food, a roof above my head, a warm bed to sleep in at night.

But could I truly call this my home? 

Those doubts would lurk in the back of my mind, keeping me up at night.

Until one day, I was made a special offer. 

If I complied, I would be given the thing my heart longs for the most.

ーー A new home.

Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Outside

Sharon: This is the place, right...?

( Woah...Amazing. I’ve never seen a house quite this big. They even have a garden! )

*Knock knock*

Sharon: Excuse meー! My name’s Sharon. I’m supposed to move in here today! 

...

...

( No response...? How strange. They should have been informed through the Church. )

*Knock knock*

Sharon: Hello...? Anybody home...!?

Sharon: ( What to do...? There doesn’t seem to be anyone home right now. It’s already getting dark. I can’t just stand here all night either. )

*Creaaaaak*

Sharon: ...Huh? Did the...door just open by itself?

( Does that mean I can go inside? I feel a little hesitant just entering someone else’s home butーー I was told I could live here so it should be fine, right? )

She enters the manor.

 Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Entrance Hall

Sharon: Just as I thought, the inside is equally spacious. I can’t imagine just one person living in such a large house all by themselves. Cleaning must take quite some time as well.

She puts down her suitcase.

*Thud*

Sharon: Phew...

( ...It’s so quiet. Almost as if the house is deserted. I wonder if the owner is out at the moment? In that case, I should probably wait in the living room. )

Sharon looks around.

Sharon: I guess it’s...that way?

*Rustle*

Sharon: ...!!

( I...Did I just...step on something? It felt...strangely soft and... )

???: ーー Oi.

Sharon: ...Kyah!

Sharon: ( A person...!? Oh my gosh. I just arrived here and the first thing I do is step on someone! )

???: ...

Sharon: I’m terribly sorry! I didn’t think there would be someone lying on the floor and...!

( ...Speaking of which, what were they doing down there anyway!? ...Sleeping? No way, right? When you have a house this large, you definitely don’t need to use the floor as a bed... )

???: Haah...

Sharon: Oh no! Are you feeling ill, perhaps? In that case, I shall call a doctor right away!

???: ...You’re loud. How am I supposed to enjoy my Rachmaninov when you’re screaming the place down? 

Sharon: Rach...mani...? ...E-Either way, if you’re not feeling sick, then what were you doing on the floor?

???: Wasting his time away listening to music rather than making himself useful, per usual, I would assume. Well, I suppose it is best not to have any expectations of this man in the first place, as he will only let you down in the end.

Sharon: ...!? 

( A voice...? Out of nowhere...!? )

Sharon: ...Wah!!

( Where did he come from...? )

???: Now, who might you be?

Sharon: Ah...I’m sorry! My name’s Sharon. I’m an orphan at the Catholic orphanage downtown. I was told by our related Church that the resident of this manor has been so kind to take me in. Are you...perhaps the owner?

???: ...I see. It seems you are the next...sacrifice.

Sharon: Excuse me?

???: Nothing. I was simply talking to myself. ...Ahem. My name is Sakamaki Reiji. The second eldest son of this family and one of the residents here. ...The man you had the ‘honor’ of meeting earlier is Shuu. While you may not suspect so given his deplorable behavior, he is - quite unfortunately - my elder brother.

Sharon: Reiji-san...and Shuu-san, was it? It’s a pleasure meeting you both!

Shuu: ...

Reiji: I assume that is your luggage over there? A room has been prepared for you. We will have one of our servants bring everything upstairs.

Sharon: Thank you very much!

( Thank god...So there wasn’t any mistake after all. )

Sharon: Oh! Right! I actually brought a little gift with me! They’re homemade muffins I made this morーー

*CRASH*

Sharon: ーー ning...!?

Startled by the loud noise, she drops the box with muffins.

*Thud*

???: YOU FUCKIN’ BASTARD!! I swear once I get my hands on youーー! 

???: Ahaha! I can’t believe you actually fell for that one! Lame-o!

Reiji: ...

Shuu: Haah...

Sharon: ( H-Hold on, hold on, hold on! Eh? Eeeeh!? I’m not dreaming, right!? That person just punched a hole through the wall!? )

Reiji: Ahem. ...Allow me to introduce. The one who destroyed the wall is the youngest son, Sakamaki Subaru. Next to him is Sakamaki Ayato, the eldest of the triplets. 

ーー You two, explain this situation at once!

Ayato: ...Che. Reiji. I didn’t do anythin’! Not my fault that Subaru ate those prank chocolates I left out on the kitchen counter.

Subaru: Fuck off! You definitely did that on purpose! ...I can still feel my mouth burnin’...!!

Sharon: ( ...Prank chocolates? I guess he means those filled with mustard and other spicy condiments, right? I didn’t know people actually bought those. )

Ayato: Of course! I was hopin’ to catch Kanato. Can you imagine what kinda face he would make when poppin’ one of those bad boys in his mouth?

???: ...Say, did you hear that, Teddy? ...I hope Ayato sleeps with one eye open tonight. He might just run into...unfortunate accident.

Sharon: ...Eh!?

( Another person just appeared out of thin air!? )

Ayato: Keh. The lunatic’s here.

Reiji: Sakamaki Kanato, the middle triplet. 

...Kanato, If you wish to commit a homicide, please do so outside of the walls of this manor. It takes forever to remove blood stains from the carpet.

Kanato: I don’t recall having to take orders from you.

ーー However, you’re lucky as I happen to be in a good mood right now. I believe I heard someone mention muffins? 

Sharon: ...Ah, yes! I made these myse...Huh? ...Oh.

Shuu: It’s not blood, but I think the carpet will need some cleaning regardless.

Reiji: Good grief...

Sharon: Oh no...! The box must have slipped from my fingertips when I heard the sudden crash and...

Ayato: Ah-ahー Look what you did, Subaru. It’s always the youngest child causin’ trouble.

Subaru: HAAH!? All of this started ‘cause you left those stupid chocolates out!

Sharon: ...They turned out really good too. What a shame.

Subaru: ...!! ...O-Oi...You...Um...My bad.

Kanato: ...Unforgivable. 

Sharon: Eh?

Kanato: ...HOW WILL YOU MAKE THIS UP TO ME!?

Sharon: ( W-Why is he getting upset at me all of a sudden!? It was obviously just an accident!? )

Um...I’m not sure...I could make some new ones later?

???: There, there, Kanato-kun~ Relax! Even if the muffins were wasted, there’s a delicious snack just waiting to be devoured...

*Rustle*

Sharon: ...!

( Someone wrapped their arms around me from behind!? )

???: ...Right here~ ...Nfu~

Sharon: ...Eh!?

( I-Is he talking about me!? )

Reiji: ...And finally, the youngest triplet, Sakamaki Laito. 

Ayato: Oi, Laito! No way you’re gettin’ the first taste again! I still haven’t forgotten last time!

Laito: Eeeh~? It’s not my fault you’re so slow, Ayato-kun~ However, if you’re so insistent on taking a bite out of her, I wouldn’t mind sharing, you know? I’m sure it’d make for a refreshing and thrilling experience~

Ayato: Geh! In your dreams, you perv!

Sharon: ( Taste? Bite...? Why are they talking as if I’m their food!? )

Excusーー

Shuu: ...Strawberries.

Sharon: Eh?

Kanato: What are you talking about? I don’t see any strawberries around.

Reiji: Shuu. Explain yourself.

Shuu: Your panties. They had strawberries on them.

Sharon: ...!!

( When did he...!? Ah! When I stepped on him...! )

Ayato: Pfftー!! Strawberries! How old are you, five? That’s hella lame!

Laito: Hm...~ Strawberries are not bad but with such a lovely body, I’m sure you could pull off something a little more erotic~

Subaru: ...

Laito: Oh, my bad~ I forgot baby bro was in the room. I suppose talking about a woman’s underwear is still a little too much for him to handle.

Subaru: S-Shut up...!!

Reiji: ...Enough! No more on this topic! ...Haah. Is it really that much to ask for you lot to behave? Just for one day?

Ayato: ーー Anyway, Reiji. Who’s this chick anyway? Tonight’s dinner?

Sharon: D-Dinner...!? I’m sorry but...Why are you all talking as if I’m food or something!?

Ayato: Shut it! Nobody asked for your opinion, Ichigo Pantsu.

Sharon: I-Ichigo paーー!? I have a name...! ...It’s Sharon.

Ayato: Yeah, yeah. I-chi-go Pa-n-tsu.

Laito: Hm~ This Bitch-chan does smell sweet just like strawberries. Perhaps I should call you ‘Ichigo-chan’ instead~?

Kanato: She really does. I’m sure her blood would taste just as sweet...Oh? What’s that, Teddy? You’d like to have a taste? Fufu...Good idea. I was just feeling a little peckish myself.

Reiji: Haah...I shall be in my study room. ...Ayato, Kanato, Laito. Please treat our new resident with some respect. It would be a shame to lose another one so soon.

Sharon: ...Wait, please! I’m afraid I don’t quite grasp the situation yet!

Reiji: Haah...Good grief. You must not be very smart, are you? Did you truly believe you would be allowed to stay here for free?

Sharon: ...Eh?

Laito: Nfu~ He’s right, Ichigo-chan. Everything in this world comes at a price. In your case...That would be the delicious blood pumping through your veins...

Sharon: M-My blood...? 

Ayato: Heh. You seriously haven’t realized?

Kanato: Teddy...Humans are truly so foolish, aren’t they?

Subaru: Che...Stop beatin’ ‘round the bush already and just tell her.

Shuu: We are Vampires. So the only thing a human such as yourself would have to offer, is your blood.

Reiji: In return, you will be allowed to stay here in this manor. Food, clothes and all other daily necessities willl be provided as well.

Sharon: Vam...pires? That must be some sort of joke, right? It was the Church who arranged this place for me! They would neverーー! 

Besides...Vampires only exist in fairytales!

Reiji: Good grief. This is why I simply cannot deal with humans. Not only are they incredibly foolish, they are horribly naive and trusting as well.

Subaru: In other words, you were set up. Just deal with it.

Sharon: ...

( No way, right...? This has to be some sort of mistake? Or a bad dream...? )

Shuu: Pwaah...Anyway, you guys do as you please. I’m going to my room to nap.

Subaru: I’m leaving too.

Reiji: Well then, if you’d excuse me now.

The three of them leave.

Sharon: ...

Laito: Oh dear~? Is that despair I see in your eyes? You poor little thing! Don’t worry, Laito-kun wil make sure to comfort you. After all, there is no better cure for betrayal than pleasure.

Ayato: Don’t be so down, Ichigo Pantsu! It’s not that bad of a deal! You get to offer your blood to Yours Truly after all!

Kanato: Fufu...I’m sure we’ll get along just fine. If you’re lucky, you might even make it into my precious collection one day~

Sharon: ...!!

She suddenly pushes them away.

*THUD*

Ayato: ...Woah!?

Laito: ...Aah~ Not bad, Ichigo-chan! I like myself a feisty girl at times!

Kanato: Ugh! ...What are you doing!? I nearly dropped Teddy just now.

Sharon: ...

She runs upstairs.

Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Hallway

Sharon: Haah, haah, haah...

( Say, God...? )

( Is this my penalty...? )

( Are you punishing me for my crimes of the past...? )

Monologue

I just kept on running and running.

As said question repeated itself inside my head.

That must be it.

Those guys were exactly right. 

Humans are foolish. I was foolish. 

Foolish to believe I would be given a new home.

After all, people like me.

ーー They don’t deserve a happy ending.

ーー PROLOGUE: END ーー

[ Dark Prologue ] ->

[tokoyamisstuff]

Meant To Be - Loki x Fem! Reader

Summary: Much to your displeasure, your parents have promised you away to the God of Mischief of all people.

Tags: Arranged Marriage AU, Light Elf! Reader

Warnings: Aside from Loki hating himself, nothing.

Words: 2878

I Masterlist I

A/N: Some good old-fashioned, ‘redeemed after The Avengers and the other movies didn’t happen’ Loki. Like, really cheesy, self-indulgent 2012 stuff. I just want to ignore all misery that happens in the series okay?

“Ew! Stop it!”

You were eight at the time when you and Loki first met, by means of negotiation between both your parents.

If only you knew that this encounter should be the first impression of what should be your husband in the near future...

Frigga and Odin could only plead for their son to be on his best behavior - but well, it’s the God of Mischief we’re talking about. Must be hard to inherit such a title from your very birth.

Just when you put the little bonquet of flowers he had picked up for you towards your face to admire it, several little spiders emerged from the blossoms.

“You’re no fun.” The raven-haired boy stood a safe distance away from you, arms crossed as his gleeful laughter turned into a broad sulk. "And your ears are weird.”

“I hate you!” you screeched in your childish rage, throwing the flowers to the ground and trampling onto them. “Where’s your brother? Thor is way nicer than you!”

“Well, why don’t you marry him then?!” he mocked to cover up his hurt pride, picking up a handful of dirt and throwing it in your direction. 

“I don’t need any friends anyway...” the little boy whispered to himself, running away from the scene with tears filling the corner of his eyes. 

“I don’t need anyone. I’m way better than all of them!”

Not even Frigga was fast enough to catch up with him, while Odin uttered some fake apologies to your parents, promising them that everything will go as planned.

You on the other hand were running towards your mother, tightly grabbing onto her dress. “He’s mean! I wanna go home!”

As Queen of the Light Elves, your mother was a being full of grace and composure - and you were hoping to one day become such a formidable person as well.

She bowed down to your height, petting your hair as you rubbed the mixture of tears and dirt from your cheeks. Just her bright smile alone would sometimes be enough to make you forget about your worries - but not today.

“My sweet child” she cooed, cradling you in her arms. “One day you’ll understand.”

However, this would be the last time you paid Asgard a visit - at least until now. Because no matter how deeply you wished to never meet him again, the words your mother spoke on that day haunted you all those years:

“For this is your duty as a princess.”

[Present Day - Asgard]

It felt so unreal when you stuck your head outside of the wooden carriage, the wind playing with your hair as your glare wandered over the rainbow bridge you were crossing.

Silence strained the air, your parents unable to do even so much as look into your eyes. Hel, how you wished this was only a dream.

Behind you was a whole company of Light Elves, transporting all of your belongings to what should be your homecountry from now on.

Now there was no way back, that much was sure.

You were supposed to meet your soon-to-be husband on that very same day, one day before your wedding to be precize.

One could only guess why you weren’t allowed to visit Asgard again for all those years, even though you were practically born just for this reason - for this person.

To become Loki’s bride was your involuntary purpose, and you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be truly free.

Maybe your parents thought the God of Mischief to have a bad influence on their growing daughter, pulling you into his harmless yet dishonorable schemes. Or they simply feared you to refuse marrying said man if you got to know him better, finding out just what kind of person you were promised to.

Not that your parents were pleased either...everyone in the Nine Realms knew the stories.

To Odin, there was no point in hiding the disgrace his adoptive son had brought over Asgard. Not only was he responsible for an attack on Midgard, sacrificing thousands of lives for his own sake, drunken by greed for power.

But all of you were shocked to hear that Loki Odinson - or rather Laufeyson - was never Asgardian to begin with.

A Frost Giant.

Among your kind, they were known to be one of the most terrible abominations in the nine realms, and murderer of countless of your kind - and this should be the father to your future children?

Only thinking about this cruel twist of fate made you want to vomit...

So why did you agree to proceed with the preparations as if nothing had happened? How in Alfheim’s name could you reject their offer to wed you to Thor instead of that lunatic?

Was it that through your upbringing and royal duties, you had lost your own free will? Or simply fear of stepping aside the path that everyone had prepared for you?

It was probably the fact that you didn’t want to get into true love’s way...you and Thor stayed in brief contact through Heimdall, and you just knew how much that human girl meant to him.

You were kinda jealous, though...the concept of being in love was foreign to you, having a vague idea of it from novels only. But real life just wasn’t meant to be that was, was it?

You couldn’t escape your fate, that was what it was - for this treaty would unite both kingdoms, bringing peace and wealth for all of their inhabitants.

No way you could be so selfish as to decline...even if it meant you had to suffer for the rest of your life.

“My Ladyship, we have arrived!” a guard spoke as he knocked on the carriage door, with your parents hinting that you needed to step out first.

The very same guard now yelled from the pit of his lungs, making you feel the whole Kingdom of Asgard could hear. “Now arriving: Lady Y/N Y/L/N, eldest Princess of Alfheim and heir to the throne.”

You heared the people whispering as you took your first, insecure steps, blinded by the bright daylight.

“She’s so pale, like ice” or “Why are her ears like that?” were rather nice comments compared to others plainly calling you ugly, scary or a ‘disgrace’.

Of course your Kingdoms had been in a war for several decades, but this was long in the past - before your very birth, even. So what’s the reason you should bear with such hostility in the place everyone expected you to call ‘home’ from now on?

One thing was clear from the very beginning: You would never belong here.

“May I?” a dark, husky voice interrupted your self-pitying. You blinked heavily, still trying to adjust to all those golden surroundings, until your blurry vision finally cleared up.

“C’mon.” The voice belonged to the man in front of you, looking gravely nervous with sweat dripping from his forehead. He was reaching out a hand for you to take, and you gladly accepted since you didn’t want to embarass yourself further by falling out of the carriage.

And still, you managed to somehow miss a step and fall right into his arms. “Oh my, so clumsy” the man snickered as he catched you, clearing his throat as you grabbed onto his chest to regain balance. "Not very graceful for someone of your status.”

“And you are-” The words got stuck in your throat when you stared back into those eyes, their emerald green awaking memories you’d rather forgotten entirely. “L-Loki!”

“Exactly, my dear. The one and only.” Smooth and calm, he  pecked a kiss on the back of your hand, andyou couldn’t help but admire just how well he had aged: His wild locks were combed back, sharp features complimenting his face as he tried his best to give you his most innocent smile.

Yet you kept your guard up, always expecting him to somehow embarass you just for the fun of it. “When it comes to him, always expect the unexpected” Thor once warned you, and you won’t forget about it that easily.

“It’s a pleasure finally meeting you” was your firm declaration, only to be rewarded with a scoff. “You are speaking to the God of Lies, Lady Y/N - there is no use in trying to deceive me” he whispered into your ear, making you shiver in unpleasant anticipation.

“Carry her belongings to my rooms” he dismissed the servants with a simple gesture of his hand, offering his other arm for you to cling on as he escorted you through the palace.

The giant halls were almost empty, nothing like back on Alfheim where you and your brethren would enjoy each other’s company in midst of nature. A sole tear escaped your eye when you thought back to those carefree days, which are now over.

“Are you alright, m’lady?” Much to your surprise, your fiancé sounded honestly concerned about your well-being. “If you are tired, we can postpone our tour of the palace until you’ve rested.”

 “May I speak from the heart?” You gulped after finishing that sentence, scaring yourself with all the stories you’ve heared about this mad troublemaker.

Somehow you had the feeling that if you were to overstep your boundaries with that brute, it would have consequences beyond your imagination. He might seem generous and polite right this moment, but what would someone like him do if you enrage him? Countless images were circling in your head, one worse than the other.

Loki furrowed his brows, exhalinge deeply. For him, your expression was an open book to what you were thinking right now.

“Y/N, my dear Lady, if you want it or not: Starting tomorrow, we share a bond. I am deeply sorry that a veritable flower as you are had to end up with someone like me, but I promise to treat you as well as possible.”

Turning around so you’d not detect how it hurt him to speak from the heart, he added with a shaky voice “Yet there is no reason for you to hold back your hatred for me. No harm will come your way, I swear upon the little honor I have left.”

Even though his words made you feel a deep sympathy with the god, you weren’t quite sure if you could decipher truth or deceit in them. Maybe he just wanted to lure you into saying what you truly thought of him?

He’s right - you will have to spend the rest of your life with him, so don’t mess this up from the very start!

“I-I don’t hate you!” was the first thing you blurted out, grabbing onto his cloak. Loki turned around, rising his eyebrow as he scanned your face for any hint of a lie.

Althrough it was the truth, at least to a certain extend. You’ve seen each other only once, when you were still little. The rest is all tales and rumours, but you personally don’t have a reason to despise him.

There was no way you could promise to accept his past or heritage, let alone forgive him - yet as long as he’d treat you with respect, you’d return the favour.

“T-There’s just a question on my mind this whole time...aren’t you mad? I-I mean someone like- well...like you...” you gestured around awkardly, almost making him crack a smile. “I mean...I thought you wouldn’t let your parents dictate your life.”

Another deep sigh escaping his mouth, this times with his eyes closed. “This isn’t about Asgard or my adoptive parents. I choose my own path.”

Suddenly, Loki wrapped one arm around you, flicking his fingers with the free one.

“Hold onto me” he ordered indifferent as he casted his spell, teleporting both of you away before you could even comprehend, let alone ask him what he was doing.

It happened in the fraction of a second, yet felt like hovering through an empty space for an eternity.

“Now open your eyes.” You hadn’t even realized that you squeezed them shut during the shift, slowly opening them while Loki lifted your chin with his index finger.

The environment was magnificent. Had you ever seen something this beautiful in your whole life?

Obviously you had no clue where you were, but this was the first time seeing so much untouched nature on Asgard. There were flowers blooming in all colours imagineable, clear rivers crossing the lands in between grassy hills, and animals nearby a small forrest.

“It’s not like I didn’t educate myself about the Light Elves and their way of living” Loki stammered, unconsciously intertwining your fingers with yours as he watched you admiring the view. “So I could make you comfortable here, I mean.”

He plummeted down on the grass, still a little wet from the morning dew, and gestured for you to do the same. It was weird, actually, but also somehow adorable - how the infamous ‘Silver Tongue’ had lost his ability with words. “I’ve done very little right in my life full of wrongs. Hurt a lot of people.”

“Mmmhh” you hummed approvingly, not knowing what else to say - yet for some reason, you didn’t let go off of his hand, squeezing it ever so slightly.

“And even though I can’t possibly redeem myself, I wish to change for the better.” he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “I just never knew how to start.”

Loki Odinson really was full of surprises. He was nothing like the child you’ve met long ago, and the complete opposite of what you imagined the ‘God of Mischief’ to be.

You had expected a power-hungry, selfish and cruel man to wed you - and yet there he was: Insecure and broken, only a shell of the person he once was.

Just what had you missed all those years? What things happened to break someone’s will like this?

And was he truly beyond repair?

“Those past weeks, I have visited Alfheim more times than you could comprehend” he giggled nervously, avoiding your eyes. “Concealed, of course.”

Well, that sounded kind of weird, but you knew better than to talk someone down who was just opening up to you. So your sole answer was “What for?”

“There was no way a criminal like me would still be seemed fit for this ceremony - and yet I was given this chance anyway. My mother told me that it was you who insisted on carrying on the arrangement, so...I just wanted to know what person would be willingly ruin their life.”

Something different was shining through the god’s orbs, and you couldn’t quite decipher it. Was it hope? Hope, that if you had given him a chance, his life could lead into a different direction? To change himself from the burden that was his birth title?

“I-I guess I don’t want to mess this up like I always do” he whimpered barely audible, before staring at you in shock and embarassment. Until now, he hadn’t realized just how vulnerable he made himself.

Just what the hell would you think about him now? You probably had lost any respect, or thought himself to be crazy. How weak...

So he was quick to put on the confident facade again, wearing his smug grin as if that all was just part of a big joke only he’d understand. But even though you barely knew him, he couldn’t fool you.

“Sometimes it’s enough just to try.” Your head turned from the sight of nature to your fiancé and back several times, before you brought up the courage and put a hand on his shoulder, whispering “So you can’t really mess this up.”

“Gladly you don’t seem to know yet just how much misery I cause.” He kept that thought to himself, to not scare you away.

“I am aware that you could never love someone like me, Y/N. But I can provide for you, dedicate myself to making you content with being my wife. My newfound purpose.”

The purpose of a war criminal - that sure put yourself under a lot of pressure. And still, it made you somewhat proud, and grateful as well. Because it was the first time someone valued you as a person, and not the princess of Alfheim.

Unaware of how much time had passed, both of you would get used to each other’s presence in silence, enjoying the nature while you processed this eventful day.

Exhausted from the long travel and all that rollercoaster of emotion, you soon found yourself dazzling into sleep onto Loki’s shoulder. If only you could see him adore you, staring in awe that someone could actually feel so safe in his presence.

Carefully, the god picked you up, gently lifting you on his arms to make your way back to the palace, where everyone was frantically searching for both of you. Well, Loki was used to trouble -  but right now, it was worth it.

May it be right or wrong, and even though you couldn’t explain this sentiment, you had a good feeling when it came to the things that were just about to come.

“You won’t regret your decision, Y/N Y/L/N. On my side, I assure you a bright future.”

[willowcrowned]

Okay but has anyone considered Obi-wan/Cody/Satien (is that how its spelled?) Regardless, hes got two hands for his two mandalorians, the au where this happend is gotta be top notch ridiculous ye?

Okay thank you so much for giving me a reason to think about this, because this AU contains three things I adore: polyamory, ships where everyone is frighteningly competent, and Obi-Wan

In this AU, Ventress is somehow even less well-adjusted (bear with me). What this means is that, instead of taking a gap year and finding herself after her family is brutally murdered, she decides she needs to get revenge even more now. What does this mean? In the short term, she still becomes a bounty hunter, but in the long run? She’s looking for a Sith lord team up so she can punch Dooku (with a lit lighstaber) in his stupid, elitist, backstabbing face.

So when Maul invades Mandalore, what happens? Ventress comes right along, ready to give her ‘I know we hate each other, but consider teaming up to kill someone we both hate even MORE’ space TED talk. And though Maul may be terribly annoying, a closet theater kid, always in a tits out kind of mood, and denying his gay awakening, he’s not stupid. He knows Sidious is coming for him, sooner rather than later, and he knows he needs more people on his side than his (impressively beefy) brother. He and Savage agree to the team-up.

Cue Obi-Wan showing up, ready to save his sort-of girlfriend, and finding Pre Vizsla, who got REAL sus the second ANOTHER lunatic with a red lightsaber showed up, occupied by capturing Maul, Savage, and Ventress. 

Obi-Wan saves Satie, who convinces him to call Cody for a quick evac, and they’re running away, flirting, and arguing over shooting things (as usual), when they spot Ventress, Maul, and Savage, about to be executed.

Oh, they both think, hell no. And then, because they have a stupid moral code that makes them do stupid moral things, they go save them.

A little background on Obi-Wan at this point: He has been fighting in a war for over two years. He is exhausted, close to a breakdown, and seriously questioning his place as a General. Next to him at all times, supporting him, helping him, and saving him, is Cody, who is clever, kinder than he has any right to be, and is, of course, devastatingly handsome when he does his special, unique-to-Cody half-smirk.

Obi-Wan, to put it mildly, is totally gone on him. Obi-Wan also, to put it less mildly, is his commanding officer in an army that Cody can’t leave on pain of death. To do anything— make any advance beyond the flirting that he engages in with most people— would put Cody in a very uncomfortable position, whether or not he returns Obi-Wan’s feelings. So Obi-Wan watches him from afar, hoping against hope that his affections are returned, and that one day, after the end of the war, there will be a future for both of them.

A little more background on Obi-Wan at this point: He has always respected Satine. Their correspondence fell apart just a few months after the end of his mission with Qui-Gon, but he’s been keeping up with her professional accomplishments for years. Over time, the love he bore for her faded, leaving him with good memories and an enduring appreciation for her courage, her cleverness, and her ability to deliver devastating blows to someone’s confidence with a few well-placed words.

Until he sees her again. And yes, alright, he might be angry that she’s choosing to stay out of the war— he knows what good she could do— but he understands her fears, understands the very real possibility that if Mandalore gets embroiled in yet another war, they may never recover. The thing is... well, she’s still very beautiful, especially when he’s yelling at him, and as slowly as his feelings had faded then, they come back in a rush now.

He has very much fallen in love with Cody, and he is very much still in love with Satine.

Cut back to the present— Obi-Wan and Satine rescue the three most annoying Sith in the galaxy and get the heck out of dodge. Cody, because he’s Cody, comes swooping in with a last-minute rescue.

At this point, two things are occurring.

The first: Obi-Wan is stuck in a room with four people he’s periodically flirted with over the past few years, two of whom he’s desperately in love with, one of whom he had a weird encounter with that he can never tell Anakin about when she and him got trapped in a middle school auditorium, and one of whom is definitely wearing no shirt and all that jewelry for a reason. It is Supremely awkward for him.

The second: Every single person in that room, each of which is (barring Savage) deeply attracted to Obi-Wan, is realizing that Obi-Wan is dressed in Mandalorian armor, and while Obi-Wan in three layers of tunics and a cloak is an absolute knockout, Obi-Wan in Mandalorian armor may very well kill them (and he won’t even have to touch his lightsaber to do it).

For one single moment, everything is absolutely still as they all stare at each other.

...And then Maul starts on the ‘I will rend your flesh from your bones, feel my wrath, Kenobarrgh’ spiel, and Satine stuns him. Oh, and Savage. Ventress agrees to watch the two of them if they don’t stun her, and Obi-Wan agrees.

Which then leaves him, Cody, and Satine in a room alone.

A word on Cody at this point: He has been bred from birth to be the perfect soldier— loyal, clever (but not too clever), and rigourously adherent to protocol. Yet, within three months of knowing Obi-Wan, he’s, well, calling him Obi-Wan in his head. Even just that is a gross breach of protocol, but he’s compromised in more ways than one. He talks to Obi-Wan, now, not just as a subordinate, or secondary advisor, but as a friend, as a councilor. Every time Obi-Wan touches him— never for longer than a brief second— his skin lights up under his armor. One time, Obi-Wan fell asleep on him for half an hour, and Cody’s was sure everyone would hear his heartbeat. 

What he’s doing— how he feels— he knows it’s putting Obi-Wan in danger, knows that if the Kaminoans had wanted to the clones to be equals to the Jedi, they would have told them so. And look, he knows what the natborns would call the way he’s feeling, but he can’t feel that way. He’s a clone— he’s expendable by definition. Even if, on some off-chance, he makes it out of this war alive, there’s nothing for him. Obi-Wan couldn’t care for him like that, couldn’t care for a man with the same face as millions of others, born and bred only for war. So it doesn’t matter how he feels.

A word on Satine at this point: Obi-Wan, when he left, was a gawkish, bumbling thing of red hair and freckles and the sweetest smile. Obi-Wan, when he came back, was graceful, eloquent, and very, very handsome. He is also infuriating. (This does not change how attracted she is to him in the least.)

She’s not a romantic, really, but she is a realist, and she knows she’s loved him in some form or another for over twenty years. She knows she can’t ask him to return it— knows that asking him to leave the order for her wouldn’t just be for her, it would be for Mandalore, and while the politician in her cries for her to claim him, the person in her who loves Obi-Wan could not abide tearing him away from his culture for her own purposes. She still loves him, deeply and irrevocably, and she knows he still loves her. (Maybe, she thinks, after the war... But she can’t afford to be sentimental).

What do Cody and Satine have in common? They’re both extremely competent, both instinctively ruthless, and they both love Obi-Wan. Oh, and they’re also both immediately jealous of their counterpart.

They know they shouldn’t be. They know it’s not fair, not when Obi-Wan isn’t theirs anyways, but it doesn’t change the surge of envy and dislike that happens when they see Obi-Wan use the soft voice he only uses for the people he likes best on the person across from them.

Cody knows he can never compare to the Duchess, who is beautiful and well-spoken and has held Obi-Wan’s heart since they were fifteen. Satine knows she can never compare to Cody, who has been at Obi-Wan’s side every second since the war’s beginning, who is so much closer in ideals to Obi-Wan than she is, however it might appear on the surface.

Fortunately, they don’t have to deal with it for long, because Ventress comes in with Maul and Savage and proposes a team up, at which point Maul reveals the identity of the Sith Master.

Obi-Wan swears a string of words that Cody and Satine are both very impressed by, and agrees to the team up. Cody and Satine, who are both going to Coruscant anyways, agree to it too.

What ensues is a good deal of scheming, during which Cody and Satine avoid each other like the plague, Obi-Wan is repeatedly told to get some sleep, and Ventress cuffs Maul to a door on multiple nonconsecutive occasions. When they get to Coruscant, Satine has already told Padmé, who has in turn told her group of anti-war (and anti-Palpatine) senators, Cody has given Rex a heads up, and Ventress, Maul, and Savage have been metaphorically sharpening their lightsabers for ages.

(It occurs to Obi-Wan, at one point, after he’s woken up from his enforced 25-hour nap, that Palpatine must have created the clone army for a reason— must have a failsafe in place— and he asks Ahsoka to pull all the data the Kaminoans have on the clones. They find out about the chips, and Ahsoka immediately immediately holds the Kaminoans at laser sword point until they reprogram every order into a command that dissolves the chip.)

The thing about organizing a coup together is that it makes it very hard to avoid each other. Cody and Satine are forced to work together, and, what do you know, it turns out that even with seething jealousy at work, they end up respecting each other. (Note: Obi-Wan comes into a room at one point to see them both bent over a commlink, heads together and hands nearly touching. He short circuits.)

In any case, coup, Palps dies, Republic fixed, whatever.

What’s important is that Obi-Wan gets really, really injured— so much so that he might die. Cody and Satine have dealt with him being dead before (Deception arc anyone?), but this? Watching him slowly fade, knowing there’s nothing they can do about it? That’s worse.

One night, when Anakin has fallen asleep, they have a long conversation in low voices about Obi-Wan, darting from fond to furious to devastated over and over again. If he wakes up— if, not when— they agree to say something to Obi-Wan, to let him know that they love him. It’s a meager consolation after all they’ve been through, but this is the end, in one way or another, and they deserve to be honest with him.

(Cody thinks, privately, that he will be— well, not tossed aside, because Obi-Wan isn’t the sort of person who does that, but there won’t be a place for him by Obi-Wan’s side anymore. Obi-Wan is a Jedi, a negotiator, a peacekeeper, and Cody is a soldier for a now-ended war. He is already steeling himself to accept Obi-Wan’s polite rejection with equanimity, to not cause more pain to the man. (It will be easy, he knows, to wish him every peace, every happiness. Cody has only ever wanted to see Obi-Wan happy. This does not mean it will not be painful.) Obi-Wan said once that he would have left the Order for Satine if she’d asked— she will ask, now, and Cody knows Obi-Wan will leave, can see the love written in his face, in his spine, in his hands, whenever he is around her. Satine will ask, and Obi-Wan will leave, and Cody will be left to look for a place in this new galaxy.)

(Satine thinks, privately, that Obi-Wan’s feelings for her must be long faded, replaced by his obvious ones for Cody. Obi-Wan is a warrior, a Knight, and Satine is a diplomat who foreswore violence long ago. She is already steeling herself to accept his rejection with grace. (It will be easy, she knows, to wish him well. She has only ever wanted good things for him. This does not mean it will not be painful.) He said once that he would have left the Order for her if she’d asked, and whatever he’d felt then for her pales to what he feels now for Cody. Cody will ask, and Obi-Wan will leave, and Satine will rule as she always has.)

And then Obi-Wan wakes up.

Cody and Satine let him have his long talk with Anakin first, partially because they know how important it is to him, partially because Anakin wouldn’t let them if they wanted to, and partially because they are dreading their own coming conversation. When Anakin has finished, and Obi-Wan is asleep again, they go in, hand-in-hand, and wait for him to wake up.

When he does wake up, he sees them holding hands and immediately comes to several wrong conclusions. Wrong Conclusion A: Cody and Satine are in love. Wrong Conclusion B: Cody and Satine are going to try to break the news that they’re in love to him gently. Wrong Conclusion C: This conversation is about to break his heart.

Then they speak.

At the end of it, Obi-Wan has some Thoughts. Thought One: alkdfjhskhsgjljlbhkgkjbjvnab,gkjvn;qlerghjsv?????!!!!fwbfwlkrehwogwhuwrijvhfdbhkf!!!! Thought Two: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Thought Three: Oh, we’re all idiots. Fantastic. 

He then passes out, because being on the edge of death for days and then having a shock to your system this big tends to do that to you.

When he wakes up, he is mildly more coherent. Then he sees that Satine and Cody are asleep on each other, and the coherence is lost, but he does manage to wake them up and get across three things:

Thing One: He is desperately in love with them both.

Thing Two: He’s leaving the Order for a multitude of reasons, but they are a Significant Bonus.

Thing Three: He would very much like if they both held his hand while he falls back asleep.

Cody takes Obi-Wan’s right hand, Satine takes Obi-Wan’s left hand, and the three of them stay like that, fingers intertwined, for a long, long, while.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!

The word ‘listen’ has the same letters as the word ‘silent’.

Common sense is not so common.

The average person swears 80-90 times a day.

Even adults sleep better if gently rocked to sleep.

Probably best NOT to take relationship advice from a single person!

An estimated one third of all web traffic is porn related.

Walmart makes about $20,000 per second.

The average human throat is about five inches deep.

High heels were originally worn by men.

Female octopuses throw things at males that harass them.

Philophobia is the fear of falling in love.

Only 1% of English-language tweets that use the 🍑 (peach) emoji actually refer to the physical fruit itself.

Florence Nightingale owned over sixty cats in her lifetime including Big Pussie and Mrs. Tit.

In 1847, a woman was sent to Aberdeen Lunatic Asylum for "abuse of tea".

‘Jus de chaussette’ is a French phrase for disgusting coffee that literally means ‘sock juice’.

Daytime naps help to improve your memory and cut the risk of heart disease.

Twerking is actually good exercise. It works the deep muscles of the hips, as well as the core muscles of the lower back and abs.

In 1996 Ukraine handed over nuclear weapons to Russia "in exchange for a guarantee never to be threatened or invaded".

The nicotine from one puff of a cigarette reaches your brain in seven seconds. Alcohol take approximately six minutes.

A 'kangaroo word' is a word that contains the letters of a related synonym inside it, such as BLOssOM, cHickEN or hoNOuraBLE.

According to a 2000 poll, the Japanese believe their greatest invention of the 20th century was the instant noodle.

If all the Birds Eye waffles sold in a year were stacked up, they would be 474 times higher than Mount Everest.

Having regular sex can enhance mental performance by increasing the production of neurons in the brain.

People don't listen to the smartest person in the room, they listen to whoever acts as if they know what's right, according to a study.

Crying is good for your health, flushing unhealthy bacteria out of your body, strengthening the immune system and relieving stress.

Men go to the emergency room 28 times as often as women for accidentally getting something stuck in their rectum.

As time goes by, humans are becoming less and less empathetic. Today, we care about others 40% less than people in the 1980s did.

There are six companies that control almost every popular food and beverage brand in the world: Nestle, PepsiCo, Coca-Cola, Unilever, Danone, and General Mills.

Depression is the most common disability in women. About 25% of all women will experience severe depression at some point in their lives.

In 2010, an Australian mother brought her premature son back to life by hugging and cuddling him for two hours after doctors declared him dead.

The small village of Villar de Corneja, Spain celebrates the New Year at noon instead of midnight, as many of the residents are elderly and want to go to bed early.

In Norway, to change your last name to one that fewer than 200 people have, you must ask permission from everyone that has that name.

In 2012, a French woman received a phone bill for €11,721,000,000,000,000. Before admitting their mistake, Bouygues Telecom told her she could pay the bill in instalments.

Marvel has argued in court that the X-Men are definitively not human (for the purpose of selling action figures as toys, not dolls, and thus paying lower tax).

Misophonia is a condition in which you are easily annoyed or angered by little things. Such as a person who eats or breathes too loudly.

A South Korean university has a toilet that uses faeces to generate electricity. In order to incentivise its use, users are paid in virtual currency every time they use it.

MI6 did, in fact, employ a spy named James Bond. In 1964, James Albert Bond was sent to Warsaw to collect military secrets from behind the Iron Curtain.

The world’s largest living thing is a fungus in Oregon, USA. It currently covers around 8.9 square kilometres (about 1,665 football pitches) and is over 8,000 years old.

In January 2019, a man trying to kidnap a woman on the street followed her into a martial arts dojo after she escaped. He was carried out on a stretcher and taken away in an ambulance shortly after.

The small Peruvian town of Santo Tomas celebrates Takanakuy every December 25th. Men, women and children settle grudges with fist fights. Then everyone goes drinking together, ready to start the new year with a clean slate.

At the 1936 Summer Olympics, Japanese pole vaulters Sueo Oe and Shuhei Nishida tied. Rather than accepting a tie break, the two cut their medals in half and spliced them together to make a ‘friendship medal’.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[wheresmybuckyhoes]

Squatting is my Passion, not my Purpose

Summary: I’m a hoe for sparring with Bucky basically, and he decides to talk to you when you’re in the shower because he’s just so respectful of your privacy.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Much swearing, implied smut, female nudity

Note from me: I might make this a series but I’ll see if you guys actually like it, so let me know! It really helps me when I get feedback xx

‘Why can’t we spar’ you whined as Bucky walked around you slowly in a circle, studying your form and technique. 

You bent your knees slowly, trying to support the weight you were supposed to be squatting in the form of a bar with a weight on each end, leaning on your shoulders as you gripped the bar with sore hands. You hated this type of training, as Bucky would refuse to spar with you and just made you rip out squats and deadlifts for hours to make you even stronger than you already were. You were supposed to be killing weird alien monsters trying to destroy the earth, not trying to lift them up.

You groaned under the weight, extending your legs fully and ducking out from under the weight as you dropped it on the floor with a metallic boom, falling down to the ground, panting and sweating like a lunatic. ‘Aw come on y/n, you’re too weak to finish the set?’ Bucky taunted, easily picking up the bar and placing it on the wall stand. You watched his back muscles flex as he did this, not a shirt in sight. His arrogant expression as he turned around to look at you sprawled dramatically on the mat made your blood boil. God how you hated that smile.

‘C’mon doll get up’ he commanded as he stood there like a smug idiot, ocean blue eyes piercing into your skull. ‘No’ you replied bluntly, crossing your arms as you sat up to look at him, eyebrows knitting together in an exhausted frown. You tried to ignore the warmth you felt spread throughout your body upon hearing his playful nickname for you, spinning your body around so you were facing the enormous window rather than the enormous man standing a few feet away.

‘We’re not done y/n. You’re not sparring until you’ve finished the exercises you actually need to do. Now get up’ he said sternly, the commanding tone of his voice slightly less playful now. He walked over painfully slowly to stand in front of you again, tilting his head to the side as he waited for you to stand up. But you were done with this bullshit. Although you couldn’t always overpower Bucky, you were by far stronger than any of the other human avengers and could beat any of them when sparring. It’s not your fault Bucky is basically as strong as a gorilla on steroids.

‘I’m not getting up, Barnes’ you replied, trying to match his serious tone so he would know you meant it. You watched him narrow his eyes at you, turning around to look out of the window at Sam and Nat sparring outside, running his hands through his newly - cut hair and rolling his eyes dramatically. ‘Last chance doll. Up. Now.’ he almost laughed, the words rolling of his tongue like diamond encrusted knives.

‘Make me’ you replied without thinking, as you watched his back tense at your words. Before you realised what you had just said and who exactly you had just fucking said that to, Bucky turned around and almost ran to pick you up but your quick reflexes let you jump up just in time as you (pretty awesomely) leapt to wrap your legs around Bucky’s waist, using your body weight and full strength to knock him to the ground onto his toned front as you pinned his arms down, twisting them behind his back and digging your knee sharply into his spine to keep him there. He almost moaned out loud before remembering this was a training thing and not a sex thing, keeping his mouth shut.

‘Look who can’t get up now, Barnes’ you drawled in his ear, leaning in extra close to taunt him. You felt the vibrations of his laughter travel through you, causing you to shiver slightly. ‘What’s so funny!’ You snapped, digging your knee further into his spine as he continued his irritating laugh. ‘Stop laughing Barnes. I’m literally on top of you!’ you yelled as he just began to laugh even harder. You jumped off of him, storming out of the room and straight to the showers adjacent to the gym, immediately stripping and jumping in one of the steamy showers to wash of your heated frustration.

You were humming contently as you washed the conditioner out of your hair an hour later (you loved long showers) when you heard someone come into the shower room. The showers didn’t have doors, but that was no problem because one; this was the girls shower room and two; the only people allowed in this building are your best friends so it would only be Wanda or Nat seeing your naked body, something you didn’t mind all too much. ‘Wanda? Is that you?’ You called out as your voice echoed through the spacious room as you turned to face the wall as you rinsed your face from soap suds. ‘Wanda honey is it you just tell m...BUCKY WHAT THE FUCK IM NAKED’ you yelped as you spun around to see a shirtless, grinning Bucky, groping for the towel which he held out to you innocently, his puppy dog eyes eyeing you up and down intensely. You wrapped yourself up furiously, glaring at him. ‘What the fuck do you think your doing?’ you demanded, head tilting to the side, daring him to speak.

He smiled cheekily, replying simply ‘nothing I haven't seen before doll’. Right. About that. One time on a random mission, this weird space creature doctor strange was dealing with had somehow captured the both of you, and you ended up naked in a cell with him for hours before Nat found you both, obviously taking a few photos first. She hadn’t let you hear the end of that one for months, bringing it up at every single party. You can’t even remember how the hell you both ended up unclothed, and the memory still haunts you to this day. You shuddered at the thought. But that’s besides the point. ‘You called me Bucky’ he continued, stepping closer to your dripping body, towering over you. ‘Fuck. Barnes, trust me, I didn’t mean to’ you replied, scolding yourself internally. Now this has a bit of history behind it. When you first met the flirty soldier when he joined the avengers after that weird disagreement between Steve and Tony, he walked up to you with his unwavering confidence and told you to ‘Call me Bucky, doll, like all the ladies do’. Not only did you cringe so incredibly hard at this because honestly what the actual fuck, but you wanted to make sure he knew you weren’t someone he could just flirt with and replied simply ‘I will never call you that, Barnes. I’m not a ‘lady’ as you put it so kindly, I’m an avenger. Grow up’, and thus you began to call him Barnes henceforth.

‘Anyways, I wanted to congratulate you on that move you did. That was pretty fucking cool y/n’ he spoke softly, looking you right in the eyes. You were a bit taken aback by his sudden sincerity, almost flattered, but didn’t dare show it. ‘Thank you, Barnes. You sucked, as usual. Now please for fucks sake let me get changed in peace.’ Bucky nodded with a small chuckle, putting his hands up in a faux surrender as he stepped back, turning to leave the room. ‘W...wait actually one more thing’ you said timidly as Bucky whipped around to face you, curious. ‘Yes doll?’ he asked as he stepped closer to you and continued to slowly near you as you stepped back and jumped at the cold wall which seemed to have moved forward to trap you between it and Bucky. He was making you all flustered and you hated it. ‘Why did you laugh when I pinned you down?’ you asked sharply, looking up into his eyes as he leaned in, his metal hand beside your head leaning against the wall, caging you in. A look of amusement danced across his face as he brushed your wet hair behind your ear, the light touch of his fingertips making you shudder, aware of how close his face was to yours. ‘Because it felt good, princess. Because you were on top of me’ he whispered that last part, before suddenly moving away from you and swiftly walking out of the room. You were left rendered entirely speechless, your whole body on fire. The place where his finger tips brushed against you felt so empty now, and you couldn’t believe what he had just said. He liked you...being on top of him. Get it together, girl. You don’t like Bucky, you just find him extremely...attractive...oh I’m fucked.

[morgana-ren]

I noticed youd said that you get more shiggy requests. So, if you'll indulge me for a sec.

We've had gatos input on how strade would be if the roles were reversed. Mc somehow had him under their control with the shock collar on.

I want your input because your writing is so detailed i know id enjoy reading what a submissive little bitch he'd become.

Please and thank you Morgana.

ily :3

Oh OH You know me so well! This is one of my favorite things to daydream about when I get angry or annoyed because since Strade is such a garbage human being, it tickles me so much to think about how cathartic it would be to turn the tables.

So as well all know, Strade, while very experienced, is not the brightest bulb in the box. He’s got years of know-how behind his expertise in kidnapping and torture, but there’s some shit that just kind of evades him sometimes. Double checking your ropes after he gets a little too excited and wants a dirty basement floor romp, for example. Thanks to his overexcitement and shit-idiot brain fungus he’s got going on, it’s entirely possible for you to slip your bonds. This mistake, in canon, costs him his life. 

But what if MC wasn’t so kind? 

With a level head, you might be able to scrounge around his torture room for a little bit. Maybe he has a needle with some knockout liquid hanging around for “difficult” catches. Maybe you just wait around behind the door until he walks in and smash him on the head as hard as you can and knock his ass out. Either way, he’s got plenty of restraints, and now he’s the one cuffed to a rusty pole. The look on his dumb face when he comes to is priceless. 

You’re not making the same mistakes he did. He’s triple tied to that thing. You know he’s strong, and you’re playing on his home field. You’ve got to be prepared for everything. At least long enough to get upstairs and find help or call the police. Right? Right? 

But what if you don’t?

What if, after he comes to and is sputtering and howling and hissing things at you in German that would make Lindemann blush, you decide not to go for help? He’s mad. He’s oh so very mad. He does not like this, not one bit. But he’s panicking beyond what you’d expect, even for a serial killer who’s been two-timed by his own victim. There’s something else in those dilated eyes. Something you’ve become very acutely familiar with over the last few days. You can still smell it lingering on you the same way it’s staining his shirt now. 

Fear. He’s afraid. And not of death or capture. 

I mean, he very well might be terrified of those things, but whatever it is he’s feeling right now is far overshadowing that. His face is red, and you can practically see the veins in his neck popping in rhythm with his thrumming heartbeat. He’s sweating extensively, and while that’s not uncommon for him, there’s not that macabre jolly smile plastered across his face. He’s baring his teeth and snapping at you like a feral hound, swearing to end your miserable life in a manner that would make the ghosts of his past shudder in horror for you. 

You don’t put it past him to snap these ropes any second and wrap his hands so tightly around your neck that your eyes pop like overinflated balloons. Even if the cops show up and try to escort you to safety, there’s an unspoken darkness in his glare, something that promises pain in your future even if they manage to subdue him. A promise that you can’t guarantee yourself that he can’t keep.

It strikes you that you know nothing about this man.

Surely someone out there knows about this. Someone knows about him and his little hobby. Monsters run in packs and even if you can’t see them, you know they must be there. Best case scenario, they can’t have him spilling their secrets so they find a way to end his life before the police can. Worst case scenario?  Worst case, they come for you. 

You’ve seen enough Hollywood horror movies to know just how wrong it can go if justice is left to the authorities. You haven’t seen much of it, but this looks like a pretty nice house. If he has money, he can just buy his way out. Who is to say that he doesn’t already have a deal with the cops? Kidnapping people is risky business, especially when folks begin to notice that you’re gone. Surely he has some safety net? 

What if he’s part of a network of psychopaths? There’s been enough late-night conspiracy youtube binges in your existence to know that shit like that is perfectly plausible. What if he’s just one of many? What if they have the pull to see him set free even after you’ve gone through the proper avenues to get him locked away? What if, one night, when you think he’s rotting in a 6 x 6 cement cell miles away from you, you wake up back here in this basement with even more Strades with different names and faces but each one shares the desire to see you ripped apart at the seams and devoured?

No. HELL no. You’re not going to be the cliche victim. He can bark and screech at you until his throat is sore and his gums bleed, but the plain and simple fact of the matter is that you have this monster on a leash, and you’re not about to hand that leash over to someone else. 

How many people has he killed? How many have met their end in this godless basement? How many unsuspecting people has he dragged here only to take them apart piece by piece until their eyes glaze and their final breath moistens his cheek as he watches the light in their eyes extinguish? Do you even want to know? Would it make you feel better or worse to know that, at least for now, you’ve narrowly escaped such a fate? 

You have to know. 

His screaming turns fearful as you ascend the stairs. Again, not for fear of being caught, but because he already has been. It’s so odd to hear the phrase “Don’t leave me here!” from his quivering chest when he’s apparently in the place he values most, and there’s a sick sense of catharsis that settles in your gut as you listen to him begin to whimper and whine. You don’t let yourself dwell on it but you do slam the door behind you loudly enough that he will be forced to acknowledge that his pathetic pleas mean nothing to you. 

His house is painfully average, at least for someone like him. He’s even got portraits up with what must be friends or family or someone that cares enough to pose for a cheesy photo with him. If you didn’t know better, you’d say an upstanding, if a little tacky, upper-middle class man lives here. The furniture is unremarkable and well cared for but lived in enough to not raise suspicion. His kitchen is filled with expensive appliances that might as well be fresh out of the box. His fridge, as expected, is filled with beer and various quick meals. Not much of a cook, you guess.

The car sitting in the garage costs in the six digit range and looks like it’s the most beloved thing in the entire area. It reeks of Armor All and disinfectant, and you’re willing to bet that if he was so inclined, he could put it on a showroom floor right now. He’s got tools and cables of all sorts thrown about, but not the kind you’ve gotten so used to. Maybe he actually does use them for their intended purpose sometimes. 

As you walk the length of his home, you notice a distinct lack of screaming. You can’t hear anything, not even a peep from the basement, and you are very certain he’s crying up a storm down there. Interesting. He’s go this place sound proofed. You’re not sure what you’d expected, but it’s good information to have regardless. 

After you’ve sated your curiosity by observing the dragon’s den, you make your way to the upper level. He’s probably not foolish enough to leave any sort of evidence behind where friends and neighbors can see it, so whatever it is you’re looking for is going to be somewhere a little bit more personal. Perhaps like a bedroom? 

Bingo. 

His bedroom, much like the rest of his house, looks about what you’d expect. King sized bed, wooden dresser with a TV and player on top, and a desk beneath the window. Sliding closet doors with all manner of free range dad apparel inside, and honestly, it’s the closest you’ve been to laughing since you got here. He would wear cargo shorts and plaid, wouldn’t he? A scrounge through the drawers of his dresser and closet reveal nothing remarkable, but you’re willing to bet your injured thigh that there’s something special in the desk. 

Just like you’d expect, the desk is locked, but you’d noticed a pair of keys sitting willy-nilly out in the living room and you’d picked them up. About 7 key changes later and the desk pops open for you like a cheap whore. He really isn’t too bright, is he? Or maybe he just wasn’t expecting this to ever be a problem. Either way, you’re grateful he’s a moron. 

Inside the drawer seems to be loads of DVDs, unmarked except for dates. It feels like you’re the unprepared cop in a serial killer movie as you look down at them. You don’t need to watch them to know what they are, but you’re going to anyway. You have to know. You need to know just who you’re dealing with here. 

You pick one at random and pop it into the DVD player and the scene that greets you seems all too familiar. A hunched figure, bloodied and tied to the pole you’d become so intimate with over the last week. This person was in much worse shape than you, however. You could see shadows moving off screen and the camera fuzzes and refocuses repeatedly as what you assume is Strade messes with the controls. Not long after, he emerges, practically skipping into frame. Even though most of his face is concealed behind a hideous bandana, you can tell he’s smiling. It reaches his eyes. 

He says what appears to be a rehearsed greeting and you’re left wondering just how crazy is he? Is he talking to his future self? You can see him making these videos to relive his sick, sadistic fantasies but talking to himself like an absolute lunatic is just a little disconcerting. However, you also acknowledge that the only reason you’ve even thinking about this is to distract yourself from the fact that you’re watching a homemade snuff film that you almost starred in yourself. 

And then he begins. 

Despite the visceral horror on display before you, the urge to vomit never comes. You watch, blank faced, as this poor soul is faced with every horror a human mind can conceive. It goes on for long. Too long. And Strade never stops talking. 

The realization sets in that’s because he’s not the only one watching. 

He’s not talking to himself. He’s responding. This wasn’t for him. This was for them. 

If you had any emotional energy to give, surely you’d be absolutely horrified, but you don’t and you can’t. You’re not even surprised. Someone like Strade, that bubbly personality and 1,000 watt smile, of course he’d find a way to utilize his talents. He’d found a market. He had a hobby and he made money from it. ‘Love your job and you’ll never work a day in your life.’ and you are just so willing to bet he loves his fucking job. 

You let the video keep playing as you sit up from his bed and leave the room. You make your way down the stairs, back to the living room, and then back to the basement door. You open it and immediately are bombarded with the sounds of his screaming and hateful vitriol. It doesn’t phase you. You’re not sure anything will ever again. 

Calmly, you walk into the room and stare at him. He doesn’t cease his incessant threats until he realizes you’re waiting for him to finish so that you can speak. He finally silences himself, though he continues to rip and tear at the ropes holding him hostage as you tell him you found his little home video collection. 

“Let me out.” He demands, and you realize he doesn’t quite understand that he’s not the one in control anymore. Of course a dog without a tangible leash will continue to run wild. You needed to drive the point home. 

You turn your back to him and begin to ruffle through his various cabinets, searching around the nooks and crannies for something that will help him understand just what position he’s found himself in. You make a very interesting discovery next to his med kit. A collar. A literal collar. 

Poetic justice. 

It’s thick and burdensome and more than a little hideous. It’s definitely homemade, because not even the most fucked of BDSM sites are going to offer something like this. It’s accompanied by a small remote with a large red button and not much else. You push the button and yelp in pain, the collar clattering to the floor as it slips from your fingers. It shocked you. It was so very painful, but you’re smiling. 

You retrieve it from where it fell and pop it open, observing it curiously. Strade watches you through wide eyes and sniveling, trembling lips. The look on his face is a dead giveaway that you’ve found something you really shouldn’t have. The toothy grin you flash him shows him that you understand that. 

Without a word, you approach him, holding the open collar in your sweating palm. His struggles begin anew and before long he’s practically yanking his arms out at the sockets trying to get away from you and your newfound toy. He’s throwing his weight around and doing whatever he can with his limited movements to make damn sure you can’t get that terrible thing around his neck, but it’s all in vain because energy is finite and he’s been expending a lot of it over the last hour. 

He’s breathing heavy and you could swear he’s begging between heaves as you clap the collar around his thick neck. His flesh bulges from the side and you’re fairly certain it was made for someone much less burly than himself in mind. You get the odd urge to adjust it on him like a necklace but he’s still dangerous, even caged. You feel weirdly... proud.

“Stop-! you don’t know what you’re doing!” He hiccups, and as he pulls his head upward, you can see he is indeed crying. “Please! Don’t!” 

You’ve never thought of yourself as particularly sadistic, at least in that sense, but some ghostly force pushes your thumb down on that big red button. Watching his eyes go wide and his body convulse and seize fills you with a sense of sheer euphoria that can’t properly be conveyed. The utterly satisfying clang of his head hitting the pole at mach 5 as he shakes and bumbles almost humorously while the collar sends x amount of volts through his body makes you giggle. 

When you finally pull your thumb off the button, he’s still shaking from the residual shock, drool and mucus bubbling from his mouth and nose and sloping down onto his chin. He looks defeated; utterly pathetic. Is this how you looked to him all those times he stood over you grinning as he gifted you pain the likes of which had been unthinkable to you before you met him? The desire to push down again is overwhelming but you’re determined for him to understand there’s a point to this misery. 

There’s a thousand thoughts going through your mind right now faster than you can comprehend them all, but they all have the same general principal. This man is a murderer. This man is a rapist. This man is contained. This man is afraid. This man is at your mercy. 

And unfortunately for him, you just ran out. 

‘How many’ you ask, despite already knowing. If the videos upstairs are any indication, there’s more than he can probably count. More names and faces than he can practically remember and they’re dead because of him. He looks up at you through wet lashes with a trembling lip, already caught on to the fact that there is no correct answer. Your thumb hovers over that seductive red button and he’s quick to spit out whatever he can regardless. 

“I don’t know! I don’t!” 

You don’t doubt that he’s being honest, but it sickens you none he less. You press that button for half a second and he jolts up off the floor as much as his restraints will allow. When he comes to, his eyes can barely focus in on you and when his slumps over, you can see the burns from the collar already settling in on his tan skin. You’re not sure how to turn down the voltage or how lethal it is, but you don’t really care at the moment. If he dies, he dies. You’ll deal with the complications of that later. 

You could sit here all day and grill him, literally and figuratively, about his track record of atrocities, but it won’t bring you any peace. You’re not sure that peace is something that you’ll ever feel again, all things considered. Meeting the monsters that dwell in the dark is drastically different than simply acknowledging that they exist, and through some twist of fate, you’ve been given the opportunity to show this particular monster that he’s no longer at the top of the food chain. There’s so much you could do, so many things you want to do, and it’s at that moment you realize you’ve spent too long staring into the abyss to try and claw your way out. 

You’re being offered the chance they never were. You’re holding the controls now. He’s already crying and you’ve barely touched him, barely done anything besides shock him a little. You remember that feeling well. If you recall, you were already crying before he put that knife to your thigh on your first day with him. 

Truth is, you decided the second he fell unconscious what you were going to do. 

Maybe a revenge like this isn’t yours to take, but you’re taking it regardless. For yourself, and for every sorry sap that’s met their end in his cement hellhole. They died for you to have this opportunity, and you’d like to think that maybe they’re there with you in this moment. Even if you never knew them, you feel a strange kinship with them. After all, it was almost you. 

He continues to babble underneath his breath, various pleas for mercy or sympathy or any form of compassion you can muster from your still aching body, and though you desperately wish you did, you can’t find any. You’re certain when you look in the mirror next, it won’t be your own eyes looking back at you anymore, but something closer to his. Maybe you did die in this basement, because whoever you were before you met him is long gone and has been replaced with something so much more empty. 

You explain to him, as gently as you can, that it’s your turn now, and his resistance will only make this harder. You don’t delight in seeing him in pain (whether or not that’s a lie has yet to be determined) but it’s a necessary evil for all he’s done. You don’t believe his life is yours to take, but you’d be as terrible as him if you let him loose on the world again. You can’t trust anyone but yourself, and since this situation is so delicate, you need a bit more time to think on it. 

He doesn’t seem to understand, at least until you’re binding his legs and securing his head snuggly to the pole. Maybe it’s overkill considering the man looks like he belongs in a shibari magazine right now, but there’s no precautions you can’t take. You can’t have him escaping. It’s far too soon, and you have such wonderful things planned. 

Were you a kinder soul, maybe you would put him to sleep because it’s so apparent he’s terrified. Being bound like this has really brought out his inner little bitch, and the way he’s looking, he’s going to piss himself. But its a price it’s only fair that he pay, all things considered. You don’t know what time it is or even where you are, but you know you’ll return to him when you’ve been rejuvenated, eager and ready to begin on him. You’re only a few steps toward the door when he begins shouting, words barely discernible between his emphatic weeping and sobbing hiccups. 

“D-don’t leave me here in the dark! Let me go, let me out! You can’t! You can’t leave me here like this!”  You grin softly, turning slowly to face him, and tell him that you can and you will. You ask what he’s so afraid of, but you don’t wait to hear the answer as you step through the frame and shut the door behind you, leaving him to rot in his personal dungeon. It’s only been an hour and he’s already so pliable. You wonder what you can make him do when you really make it hurt. Psychology says it takes 7 years to brainwash someone and coerce them into absolute compliance, but you’re willing to bet you can have it done in a few months. 

You already know one of his fears, and are very clearly not ashamed to exploit it. How many else does he have, you might wonder, already planning tomorrow’s festivities. Maybe you were sicker in the head than you thought. Maybe Strade just brought out the worst in you, stripped away all that made you human and left you with raw hurt and despair. 

It’s tempting. To give in. To sit and massage your aching body while listening to his screams as they echo through the soundproofed basement. But you’re tired, and you haven’t slept in a bed in over a week. His looked awfully nice. Maybe after that, you’d wash the dried blood from your battered body, order some food, and appreciate the niceties that civilized life had to offer. Niceties you took for granted. 

After that?  Well, after that you had a new pet to train. 

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 3

Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to read this

There are so many left out details here that I did on purpose for future explanation within the fic for the element of mystery I'm trying to brew . Hope you don't mind! Enjoy reading❤

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

1.7k words.

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: cursing, violence, injury and fighting.

*

Without thinking, I drove my fist towards the voice, regretting it the instant I recognized who it was.

Tai'chi.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I found my fist encased in his hand. He seems unfazed by my reaction, seemingly expecting it.

“Oh shi— I’m so sorry!”

How the hell did he sneak up on me without making a sound??

“Feisty- I mean, I should be the one sorry, for startling you...And for following you. I just wanted to, make sure you were alright.”

I blinked. He was concerned?

He spoke up when I didn’t respond.

“So, are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. Just, disappointed.” I breathed in and sighed as he gently let go of my fist.

Oh, and his scent helps right now. He smells so...wonderful I don’t know why. It’s not like I’ve been surrounded by disgusting odors my entire life. I swear I’ve inhaled appealing scents like lilac, sandalwood, cinnamon, even rain has its particular smell! But Tai'chi, he—he’s something else entirely.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else like, I don’t know, maybe getting lunch with some of your friends or in a classroom?” I asked. I wonder why he would even bother to be in my presence. Anyone should be creeped out by the way I spoke up earlier. I mean, who does that? Plus, I did throw a stranger down to the floor. But part of me knows he deserved that.

Definitely.

“Want to talk about it?” He ignored my question. Tai'chi was now sitting cross-legged beside me, the oak’s root in between us. His deep azure eyes studying, watching me carefully.

“What?”

“What you did back there, wasn’t something a plain, timid college girl would do.”

Wait. He knew I was pretending to be one?

“Yes, I knew.”

“You can read minds?!” I stammered out. He can read my mind this whole time?! Shit.

He held up for a second before a boisterous laugh broke out of him and echoed through the circling trees, scaring away some birds perched above. I don’t know if I should be offended or flustered by his guffaw. It was so, so deep and rich and —

What the hell Pearl? What if he's reading your mind??

Tai'chi faced me again, sighing once he calmed down.

“To answer your question, no, I can’t read minds. But like I stated before, your face gives it away. Or your brows since you’re wearing a mask, but I can imagine your expression.”

I let out an incomprehensible noise.

“How did you find out I was pretending to be…you know,” waving my hands around.

“The moment we made eye contact this morning when you entered. And the way you shifted your body at the last second to prevent yourself from plunging into the trash bin, I knew you were something more. Your eyes and your actions show your experience in combat. A skilled warrior would notice these little things right away.”

My jaw fell open, and I’m sure he knows. He left me speechless.

Should I tell him I am a trained martial artist and a weapon wielder?

But we just met like 5 hours ago!

He seems trustworthy. And he’s an orc, didn’t they have a code of honor or something?

My thoughts ran wild I swear Tai'chi could hear my mind, screaming.

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t wish to. And I must’ve sounded, creepy when I admitted I’ve been observing you. But before anything else, will you allow me to introduce myself, for real this time?”

“You mean your name isn’t Tai'chi?”

Letting out a chuckle, he replied, “I swear to you, my name is Tai'chi. What I mean is, I want you to know my full name. Do you understand what this implies, Pearl?”

I racked my brain for a moment, trying to recall what my parents said about orc traditions when my uncle, papa’s brother, married the orcess he fell in love with. Something about an orc’s real name being reserved only to those they’re close to?

“I guess so? But what exactly?”

“I want to become your friend.”

I couldn’t help the slight warmth creeping into my cheeks behind my mask. He can’t see it, can he? A friend, he says. A friend!

“Oh,” was all that came out. A pause and;

“Uh, I mean, I’d love to be your friend! I never had an actual friend before. I mean, have cousins, but we aren’t acquainted enough to consider myself their friend— I mean— uh, what should I do?” I blurted out a little rapidly.

He smiled. He actually smiled! Oh, damn, it was adorable!

Tai'chi was about to say something, but he snapped his mouth shut and grimaced. I was confused by his sudden change of mood, along with his scent.

Then it struck me.

The two of us shot up when multiple smells filled the air, making my stomach clench.

We were followed, not just one but six individuals. One of them was the pretentious human from earlier.

My day can’t get any better. And is that a baseball bat? Great. Fucking great.

I swear. I’m cursed to find trouble anywhere I go.

“Hello, freaks.” The guy in the middle began. “Whatcha doin’ out here in the forest?”

The others began spreading out and surrounded us.

“Planning something nasty I bet.” A human to my right spat.

“You will pay for what you did to me, you bitch. Just so you know, my father is the dean of this university. No one will ever hear a word of what I did here and what we will do to you.

'Dean’s son, David Silverstone, assaulted by an insane student in the woods within campus grounds. His friends graciously helping him fight off the lunatic until she passed out and was carried to an isolation chamber for monitoring, later finding out about her severe psychological disorder.’ Now wouldn’t that be a hit in the papers!” The bastard and his companions cackled and snickered, some of them stealing glances between my legs and I felt my skin crawl.

Tai'chi growled lowly, silencing them for a brief moment. He was getting mad but held his ground.

“And you,” the human pointed, “you beast. It won’t be hard antagonizing you, people will no doubt believe you were the one who violated the schoolgirl and left her in the woods to die.”

This fucking—

I felt a hand on my shoulder just as I was about to start, gently gripping, in hopes of trying to calm me down. He knows they were baiting us on making the first move. He shook his head, and an idea popped up.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to make my voice as girly as possible, sounding so hilarious, like those overdressed, flashy high school girls with flowery perfume so strong I wrenched every time I get a whiff of it.

Provoking them would do.

“Oh, I’m so scared! Should I get on my knees and beg for mercy? Oh please, great and noble one, have mercy on my poor soul.” My voice laced with mockery and sadness, with my legs fake trembling and my arms flailing.

And did Tai'chi just snort?

“If you beg nicely, I will perhaps give you a chance to— ”

My sudden wheezing interrupted him and I laughed. Hard. I can’t believe he bought my terrible acting! I expected him to straight-up be offended rather than actually bite the false bait. He is dumber than I thought.

I was holding my middle by the time I was done. Tai'chi’s shoulders were moving slightly, probably chuckling and trying to hold back his amusement.

“Did you honestly take it seriously??? I can't— oh my God!” I choked out once more before I went on.

“There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna bow to you, not even one degree of an angle, you foolish, idiotic, spoiled, bastardized son of a bitch.”

His face was turning red out of rage and oh! Wasn’t that a sight to behold?

“You brat!” Turning his head to the others, he yelled, “What are guys standing there for?! Get them!”

Good.

Perhaps they didn’t catch my hands slipping on my beloved crimson knuckle dusters out of the bag when I was laughing then, tugging down my hoodie’s sleeve to hide it.

“Don’t move.” I told the orc, whose eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“But—”

“Just don’t.” I said with my voice firm. I will take them on my own. I can’t have him getting in trouble and people blaming him for being an orc. Imagine that. The ones who attacked him will be viewed as victims because they were up against him, an orc. Numerous humans will jump at the chance to throw dirt at their race, a single act of self-defense treated as a one-sided assault to humans, the thought of it being enough to somehow remove all of them from the city, but everyone knows it's not that simple. Dimwits.

I strode forward without earning his response, waiting for the first person to come at me.

I took my stance, although it was more of preparing half of my body since I was still hiding both of my hands.

They all seemed confused and hesitant, which was what I was going for. To me, and those with experience in hand-to-hand combat, this is one of the most basic stances, but fundamental, nonetheless. A simple form that can determine the outcome of a fight. With my right foot forward, left foot back, both firmly planted to the ground, and my dominant hand wearing my dusters. In their eyes, it was…wrong, foreign. Some may even say it’s an open vulnerability, showing how inexperienced the opponent is, but oh, it is the exact opposite.

I didn’t see Tai'chi’s expression, though. I was on alert and getting into my zone to peer at him, one motion that can put me in a compromising position. Did he notice my brass knuckles? Likely.

“Scared to hurt a little girl like me?” I enticed.

Finally, the one beside their alleged leader charged at me.

A typical amateur approach.

The guy, about two inches taller than me, threw a right punch, which was a huge mistake.

Predictable.

I smirked under my mask and dodged it not a second before it connected. Making him falter as I grabbed his arm and brought it down to my knee, dislodging his joints.

A high-pitched scream of pain broke out of him as he dropped down on the forest ground, gripping his bent-off arm, cursing, but refused to rise and fight me again.

I gave him one last glance before I looked back at the others.

“Who’s next?”

****************************************

Those human shits just can't leave them alone! Interrupting their supposed-to-be official introduction! There's more to the orc that meets the eye *wink* Who is he exactly? Why was he so... observant?

Part 4 is actually on its third revising— and I'm still trying to come up on HOW to phrase my next words to lead to part 5. I let me brain take a break from spewing senseless words for now so I'll probably post the next part of this later or tomorrow

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! And I'd appreciate it if you have some advice for me, or just point out some mistakes I made! Thank you

Ps. This is really not perfect formal writing if you're wondering. I just type away whatever comes into my mind, and then proofread it to the best I can. And I hope you don't mind me using a lot of spaces. It... sort of makes my mind clear and continue moving forward, and it helps me when I'm reading it again, mentally taking note that with every line between spaces there's a slight pause and again, read it clearly like you were the one thinking it. I don't know how to explain how my own brain works but I guess that's that?

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

[volturicangetit]

D.V- Mates 1/2

Summary: The reader is a human friend of the Cullens who gets taken by the volturi because they’re Demitri’s mate. 

Warnings: reader getting turned, swearing

wordcount: 1562

MASTERLIST

Why did Bella have to be such a dumb ass? You were really contemplating every choice you ever made that lead up to this point. Here you are, running after your love crazy friend, trough the herds of locals trying to celebrate their festival. You try to look behind you every so often to see if you can find Alice, knowing that she is probably taking some back allay's to stay out of the sun. But part of you still hopes that she'll come sprinting up to you to help with your lunatic friend. The fan really hit the shit when you saw Edward stepping out of the building. You know about what they are, which wasn't so hard to find out since Jacob told you the weird folktale stories and Edward can't stop talking about how his soul is damned.

" Edward! " You can hear Bella yell as she struts through the fountain. You take an easier route and just simply walk around it. Bella quickly pushes Edward inside the castle again to keep him out of the sun. You try to push your way through the people and towards the castle, to no avail however since the mass of people just pushes you in the opposite direction. That's when you feel a cold hand wrap itself around your arm and pulling you out of the mass of people. It all happens so fast and in such a blur that you can't even see who it is.

It's only when you are being pushed through the doors of the castle that you look behind you. A man with dirty blond, spiky hair is holding your arm. He's wearing a cape and a cold chain with a prominent V hanging from it make you quickly realize that he is one of them. You would think that with those clothes someone would realize that they aren't from this time. You quickly spot Bella, clinging to Edward's arm as a tall man, that has some resemblance of a bear, glares daggers at them. Alice stand next to them clutching her shawl.

" Y/n... " Bella says. You give her a quick nod to signal her that all is okay. The man who brought you here lets go of your arm and takes his place next to the tall man. " Demitri, we can leave them out of this. " Edward says. The man, Demitri, shakes his head. " They know about us. I think master Aro would like to meet them as well," he says with a smooth British accent.

Nobody who is referred to as ' master ' is to be trusted. That theory proved itself when you found yourself standing in front of Aro. Slik, raven hair is pushed behind his ears as his red eyes stare at you. " Two...humans," he says as he walks over to Bella. He slides his hand over her cheek. " Ah, young Bella. ". He drags out his vowels a bit. Everything about him makes you want to throw up. Every warning sign in your body is going off. Get out of here! Run! Get out!

But you can't just run out of a castle full of vampires, especially not one with the rulers of the vampires in it. ' And Y/n. Oh, how immortality would suit you. ". His fingertips run over your neck, stopping for a second right on top of your artery. You want to push his hand off you. You want to scream at him to keep his hands to himself but you're smarter than that. You want to make it out of this room alive and not end up as vampire dinner.

Aro finally gets if hands of you. You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding in. " We do hope that Bella will get turned soon. But we can't say the same about Y/n. ". Aro says as he walks back towards his throne and sits down in it. fear runs through your body. You were deadmeat. You're going to die. Probably by the fangs of on Demitri, or that blond girl or anyone in this room. " I'm sorry? " Alice says. Fear laces her voice taking a couple of steps forward.

" We can hardly allow you to stay friends with one human. Definitely not two. " the blond king, who you learned was named Carius, says. " They'll stay. ". It all goes quick. A tall, brunette man picks you up with ease. Edward runs towards you but gets stop when he falls to the floor screaming. The blond girl's eyes are locked on him as she mutters out ' pain '. The doors open and close quickly as the man carries you out of the throne room.

" Let me go! " you scream as you claw at his arms. You flail your legs to try and wiggle out of his grasp, but his cold arms are not letting you go anytime soon. “ Let me go your fucking mosquito! “

Two months, three days and sixteen hours. That's how long the Volturi has kept you in the castle. You still don't know why they kept you, or why they kept you alive. You have started to become friends with some of the vampires in the castle. Mostly with the higher guards. They had some respect for you, even though you didn't know why. You had gotten close to Demitri in particular. He would spend his night in your room since he didn't sleep anyway. You were too afraid of him to object to it. And somewhere, deep down, you found some comfort in it as well.

" Umano? " Demitri's voice rings from behind your door. He doesn't wait for your invitation as he walks into your room. " There you are. ". You're propped up against some pillows on a small couch Aro was kind enough to place in your room, right in front of the fireplace. Sure, the summers felt like heaven but it got wickedly cold in the winters. Demitri stands in front of you, towering over you as you look up at him. He immediately felt a wave of calmness wash over him. You could always make him relax, which why he liked hanging out with you so much. " I'm sorry to interrupt your reading but the masters want to have a talk with you. ". Normally, his soft British accent calmed you down but now, it fills your body with fear. You place the book you were reading down with shaky hands and let him help you stand up. He guides you towards the throne room even though you know the castle from heart by now. The dark oak doors are open for you as you walk into the room, Demitri close at your side.

" Y/n! How glad we are that you could join us. " Aro says as he stands up from his throne and clasps his hands together. In front of him stand Jane, Alec and Felix. Demitri quickly walks over to them to join them. " We have some important news to share. ". The moment you are within arms reach of Aro, he grabs your hand and wraps his own around it. You're used to it by now, the constant mind reading. It was like he had an insecurity. Like he needed constant confinement that you didn't have any bad thoughts about him. " It looks like Demitri found his mate. " Marcus mutters out as he continues to stare blankly at the wall. " Mate? " you ask. Mates sound more like a thing that werewolves or dogs would have.

" The second half that completes his soul. " Aro explains. " Every person has one, the bond gets stronger with vampires, however. You make him feel whole. You give him purpose. ". Demitri keeps his eyes cast on you, not daring to say a word. He knew that the masters would find out. He tried his hardest to keep it a secret but that has proven to be hard when Marcus could see the bonds.

" I-Is it romantic? Because Demitri you're great, but I don't- I don't see you like that," you say as you look at him apologetically. Aro quickly interrupts you. ' Not necessarily. Platonic mates are also very common. Just having you in his life makes him feel whole again. ". He walks circles around you before he grabs your hand and lifts it up to his ear, listening to your heartbeat. Another habit that all the residents of the castle fell into. " Which is why we need to change you. You understand that, don't you, young Y/n? ". You nod. You knew this day would come. You would either get turned or killed, neither of which were preferable to you. Before you could say anything, Aro's teeth sink into your skin. White, hot pain seers through your body as you can feel the venom seeping in. Your vision starts to go black as the world moves in slow motion. The last thing you can see is Demitri running towards you with panic in his eyes.

TWILIGHT TAGS:

@scuzmunkie @thanossexual @kpopgirlbtssvt

[fic-art-blurbs]

Felix Trio Shenanigans

This was literally written just for @codysenshi20 thank you for accompanying me while I wrote this ily friend

Felix...was having a very strange day. One moment, he was training in the monastery grounds, waiting for when the Professor would be telling them where they'd be off to next, and the next the ground suddenly opened up underneath him. And not only did the ground open up underneath him, but he fell onto a very hard, very unfamiliar floor, and then felt something - or rather, someone - land right on top of him with a loud thud and the breath practically being forced out of him.

And as the cherry on top of a very confusing sundae, he looked up to see his own face staring back at him. Albeit with messy hair, horns, and bags under his eyes that reminded Felix of the Boar.

Needless to say, he was having a strange day. Maybe even a rough day.

"Get the FUCK off of me - what the hell is going on?!" He grunted, pushing himself off the floor and whoever was on top of him onto the floor.

Though he did pause when he heard a familiar voice going "ack-!" at the sudden movement. In fact, it almost sounded like his voice.

Felix blinked. On the floor in front of him was a very familiar face staring right back at him, in full armor (holy fucking shit was he lucky to just get the wind knocked out of him) as he pushed himself off the floor. Felix stared at the armored-him, glanced back at the Boar-looking-him, rubbed his eyes, and glanced between them once again. Then, after taking a deep breath, he spoke.

“What, and I cannot emphasize enough, the fuck is going on?”

-----------------------

As it turns out, it was the Boar-looking-him - Fe, as they all agreed on calling him, as strange as using his childhood nickname to refer to another version of himself was - was the one that got them in this mess. Somewhat unintentionally. Okay, maybe very unintentionally.

The point was, they were gonna be stuck there until the tomes that could make portals to their worlds were found, so until then they might as well start getting comfortable. Unsurprisingly, Felix did not take this so well.

Very surprisingly, the armored-him - Feli, as they were now gonna be calling him - didn’t seem to be taking this nearly as bad as Felix himself. On the surface at least. Just one look at those clenched fists was enough to tell Felix two things.

One, this was definitely a version of him from some other universe or world or whatever.

And two, he was very not happy about this.

“So, we’re gonna be stuck here. For weeks, if we’re lucky.” Feli’s voice was strained, though Felix had to give him credit for managing to sound calmer than he could.

Not that he’d say so out loud, of course. 

“Yeah, so might as well get comfortable,” Fe said, looking over them both. “You two are taking this surprisingly well.”

“Well, how the flying fuck did you expect us to react?” Felix said in a deadpan tone, rolling his eyes. “Oh boy, we’re suddenly in this brand new world all because of some dumbass wanting to fuck around with things he shouldn’t have.”

Fe just grimaced at him. Felix tried to suppress the shiver that crawled up his spine at the way Fe seemed to be staring right through him. When the fuck did he get that kind of thousand-yard stare?

“Maybe be nicer to the only person that has a shot at getting you home, dumbass,” Fe said in a low tone, still staring right at him. 

“Well we wouldn’t be in this situation in the FIRST place if you’d kept your nose out of things it shouldn’t be poking into!” Felix felt his voice raising as he retorted, feeling that anger bubbling up out of him. 

If anything, Fe’s stare seemed to go even further, his eyes narrowing as they became colder. “Better than never leaving my little bubble of comfort because I’m scared of getting hurt.”

Felix’s anger bubbled over at that. He leapt up from where he’d been sitting, a snarl appearing on his face. “Why you-!”

Suddenly, there was a hand on his chest, pushing him back away from Fe. Felix looked over to see Feli with narrowed eyes giving him a look. One that was very clearly telling Felix to watch his mouth. 

“I think we’re getting a bit heated here. How about you sit your ass back down, and we not yell at each other over spilled milk.” Feli’s tone was solemn, almost daring Felix to just say something else to get his ass kicked.

For once, Felix shut his mouth, and sat back down. Fe continued to stare at him with narrowed, cold eyes, and he knew Feli was watching him out of the corner of his eye. 

Felix sighed. This was going to be a long, long few weeks.

--------------------

Felix had now been stuck in Fe’s world along with Feli for the better part of two weeks. In that time, he had gotten to learn his counterparts quite well. Sort of. Maybe.

Okay, if he’s being honest, not really. He knew more about Feli than he did Fe, but there was one thing he knew for certain.

Both of his counterparts had very weird taste in men, let alone any romantic partner.

Seriously, out of all people, Ashe?? As in, knight-hopeful, far too cheery, constantly-toting-chivalry-around-like-a-cape Ashe???

How in the fuck did this even come to be??

In his world, while he and Ashe might’ve been on good terms, it was barely scratching the surface of “friends” if he was being generous. It was definitely nothing like what he was seeing with these two. More specifically, what he was witnessing whenever Feli and Fe rambled (rambled! Like some kind of lovestruck teenager!!) about their respective Ashes.

Even more specifically, what he was witnessing right in front of him right now. Namely, the way Fe was curled up next to Ashe, one arm wrapped around him and practically tucking his head under Ashe’s neck. 

Feli wasn’t even confused like he was by how affectionate they were being, out in the open - something that, even if Felix were to consider being with someone, would never imagine - though perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised by that considering Feli was also with an Ashe (the traitor). Instead he just sighed like some yearning fool, quietly mentioning how he missed his own Ashe. 

Felix couldn’t keep the shock off his face as Fe nuzzled, nuzzled, like some kind of cat, right into Ashe’s neck, and Ashe giggling in response. Eventually, he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer. 

“How the fuck did this even happen??” he blurted out, the disbelief clear in his voice. Fe just blinked at him almost sleepily.

After a moment of silence, he spoke. “Well you see, I just climbed up here and started cuddling with him, because I love and adore him, something you could only dream about.”

Felix’s jaw just dropped open at that response, distantly hearing Feli’s quiet “ooooohhhh” and Ashe’s almost startled laughter. After a moment, he spoke again.

“I wasn’t talking about that! Why the fuck would I even dream about that? I was talking about how the fuck you two even...happened!” He exclaimed, gesturing to them wildly.

Fe stared at him. He did that a lot. “Sounds like what someone who’s jealous about not getting to cuddle with the best boy in the entire world would say.”

Felix sputtered at that, indignation rising up in him. “You-!”

“Besides,” Fe continued, as if Felix hadn’t even spoken, “it took us five years of getting over our stupid pining to be able to even try dating. And I’m very happy that we did. Maybe wait another five years and you’ll get to have this with your Ashe.” As if to punctuate his statement, he hugged Ashe a tad bit closer to him and gave him a little peck on the cheek. 

As Feli laughed at that in the background, mentioning his own pining after Ashe before they got together, Felix learned another thing.

He really just wanted to go back home. Away from these two and their stupid Ashe obsession.

------------------

Three weeks into their unwanted stay, Felix learned another thing about his two counterparts.

They were not quiet in the slightest.

It was almost like they were doing it on purpose. It felt like they were doing...doing it every other goddess-damned night, preventing him from getting any actual sleep. He tried. Goddess knows he tried.

Goddess knows he did not want to know what Ashe sounded like during those intimate moments.

It was after three weeks, three weeks, of hearing either his counterparts or this world’s Ashe yowling like some kind of dying cat throughout the night that he finally snapped. The next morning, Felix marched right up to Fe as he was lounging on the couch, and finally went off at him. 

Or, that’s what he hoped. 

“You do realize that there are people in this household trying to get some actual sleep, you sex-obsessed lunatic?!”

Fe just blinked at him, almost sleepily. If Felix really thought about it, it almost reminded him of a cat. “Oh really? I hadn’t noticed.”

Felix felt his expression grow angrier at that. “Couldn’t you maniacs at least keep it down?! I swear to the goddess, even living next to Sylvain during our Academy days wasn’t nearly as bad…”

Fe blinked at him again, before a slow grin spread across his face. “I mean, if it really bothers you, you could just join us.”

Felix felt the anger completely vanish, in favor of a cocktail of emotions he couldn’t even try to name as his face heated up. “What-?!” 

“I know you heard me. Clearly you need it. I’ve never seen anyone with a stick further up their ass than you,” Fe almost drawled. “If you’re gonna have something up there, it might as well be something you enjoy.”

Distantly, Felix heard laughing he registered as Feli’s. Felix couldn’t even get angry about being laughed at, however - all he felt was what almost felt like embarrassment of all things rising as he tried to get ahold of his composure.

Judging by the still-present grin on Fe’s face, he wasn’t succeeding. 

He spun around and headed off back to his room, trying desperately to keep those images out of his brain as Fe called out after him, “The offer still stands!”

---------------

Four weeks into their unwanted stay, Felix was getting sick and tired of being here. He just wanted to go home dammit. Admittedly, his want to go home was seeping into his attitude, making him snappish and grumpier.

...Well, moreso than usual. But he was only usually that way because of these two Ashe-obsessed, sex-crazed maniacs.

Feli and Fe seemed to get along just fine. Much better than the fights Felix usually ended up picking with Fe. Well, he calls them fights, but it was more of a “very heated discussion”.

Thanks to the fact that Feli, the absolute fucking traitor, had started spraying him with water from that stupid-as-fuck bottle like he was some kind of cat that needed to be disciplined!

Just like right now. Felix was started to get more heated at Fe, his voice raising more and more even as Fe started shrinking in a little on himself the longer they “talked”. Just as Felix was about to finish his rant-

Spritz spritz!

“Gah-! What the fuck?!” Felix sputtered as he wiped the water away from hi face, opening his eyes to find Feli standing nearby with an unimpressed, almost disappointed look on his face as he held that stupid bottle in his hand. 

“You were getting too heated there, asshole. Calm down before you explode,” Feli stated dryly, not lowering the bottle in his hand at all.

“I was just-!” Before Felix could even continue talking, Feli pushed down the little trigger on the bottle, and more water sprayed out into Felix’s face. “Would you give it a fucking rest?!”

“Not until you say you’re sorry,” Feli stated.

Felix stared. Feli stared back. They held a miniature staring contest, neither willing to back down on this point. Feli started pushing down the trigger again…

“Alright, alright! I’m sorry! Just put that fucking bottle down!” Felix said in a rush, backing away a little without even realizing it.

As Feli asked Fe if he was okay, Felix continued wiping the excess water off of his face. He really wished he was home right now.

And that he could hide that fucking bottle somewhere it would never be found.

------------

Finally, finally, after five, goddess-damned weeks in this cursed place, the stupid tomes that could bring them home were finally found. When Felix got the news from Feli, he almost felt like dancing. Finally, he could leave, and go back to where things were normal.

No weird Ashe obsessions, no noises in the middle of the night stopping him from sleeping, and best of all, no more of that accursed spray bottle.

Now the portals back to their own worlds were open, and Felix and Feli were able to head home. Feli was already muttering to himself about finally getting to see his Ashe again. Felix wanted him to shut the hell up.

“Guess it’s time to say goodbye, huh,” Fe said dryly, standing there behind them as they got ready to head through their respective portals. 

“Yeah,” Feli responded first, “thanks for making our stay pleasant.”

He paused. He looked at Felix, then back to Fe.

“Correction.Thanks for making my stay pleasant.”

“No problem,” Fe replied, a rare casual smile easing on his face. “I enjoyed having you around.”

Then Fe looked over to Felix, his smile vanishing. “Sure wish I could say the same about both of you.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Let’s just go home,” Felix rolled his eyes as he spoke, though he had to remind himself in the back of his mind that the spray bottle wasn’t here to get him for talking back. “I’ll be glad to never see you two again.”

Feli shot him one last look before waving bye to Fe and walking through his portal, with said portal closing behind him. Felix watched him go, then belatedly realized Fe was suddenly standing right in front of him.

“What?” Felix couldn’t help but ask, annoyance creeping into his tone. “I don’t like you, you don’t like me, so how about you just let me go with no fuss.”

“Yeah, I don’t like you.” Fe said it so easily that Felix actually started getting angry. Before he could say anything though, Fe continued. “But whatever, you might have your swords, and a sad, sad lack of Ashe in your life, but I’ve got one thing over you that you’ll never have.”

Despite the anger simmering just below the surface, his curiosity won out. “And just what is this thing?”

Fe looked at him, actually meeting his eyes for just what might have been the first time since Felix arrived in this world. “I have updog.”

Felix raised an eyebrow. “What is updog?”

Fe stared at him. Then grinned, wider and wider until he started cackling. Hard enough that Felix started to get uncomfortable. Then, placing a hand on Felix’s chest, Fe met his eyes again with that huge grin still on his face.

“Nothing much, what’s up with you?”

And with that, Fe shoved him backwards into the portal, with that stupidly prideful grin haunting Felix’s sight until the portal closed behind him.