#people are gonna walk by my house and see this freak and wonder who they're looking at

[franco-barbis-sweetness]

Check out my Franco halloween pumpkin guys

[noaltbruh]

hi you should totally do what its like do what its like to live with the bucci gang in a house all together thxx

*Kicks the air, giggles, screams into a pillow, throws up, dies and comes back to life just to write this post*

No bro I don't think you understand, you've just awoken my most unhinged side ever, literally I think about what it would be like to live with this wonderful family 24/h. There is nothing else in my brain, just them doing shit.

So yeah! I hope you enjoy ^^"

Life with the Bucci gang! 🐞🤐🔫🍊🍓⏪🎙 (or rather, a survival guide about living with them)

Alright, the main rule in this house is: "Don't kill each other. If you absolutely need to, at least hide the body well before it starts smelling like Mista"

Any other rule is either ignored, purposely broken, straight up not acknowledged, or only followed because Bruno said so and you don't disobey him.

Congratulations, you just got yourself free entertainment for the rest of your life and at any time of the day. Who needs Tv when you can just watch these guys do literally anything?

What are you in the mood for today? Trish kicking Mista with a shoe because he accidentally ruined her dress? Narancia blowing up with Aerosmith that one spider Fugo is afraid to squash? Giorno turning everything he sees into frogs? Abbacchio trying not to look like a total simp every time Bruno breathes?

With that being said, I hope you're not an introvert, my friend. There's no freaking way in hell they aren't going to drag you on their shenanigans. No, you can't choose, you will take part in whatever the heck they're doing, they're forcefully gonna make you tag along if you were to ooppose.

Buddy say goodbye to your privacy, that stopped existing as soon as you walked through the front door. 99% of the times there will ALWAYS be someone with you. Whether they're actually talking to you or are just in the same room as you doesn't matter. Rest assured that being alone will become a rare occurrence, no matter how antisocial you may be.

Don't try to lock the door of your room, they'll gladly destroy it and then ask Bruno to replace it with a zipper. Alternatively, some of them might even climb up from a window if they're feeling goofy that day.

I advice locking any snacks you may want to keep to yourself in a drawer or another place you know of. If you don't, there's a very high chance that whatever you were trying to keep to yourself will get stolen by the pistols sooner or later.

Another advice I can give you is to write down all important dates related to them, or little things you know they like. It must not be easy to remember those sorts of things when you live with so many people.

Most days you're gonna find Trish practising her singing in either the music room (yes they have a music room) or her own. Don't be shy and ask her if you can listen to her, she'll always reply with a yes :)

They have a very big and well taken care of garden. If you feel like spending some time with Giorno, helping him water the plants is a great idea! Prepare for lots of fun facts about gardening, while you're at it.

I suggest laying there particularly during summer nights. There's always a nice breeze to send the excessive heat away, and the stars look very nice from there. Someone else will most likely join you as well, you can stargaze together!

If you feel like having a conversation that requires more than two brain cells, Fugo's always there for you. He's used to some of the others calling him boring and such, but a nice chat about Latin, Politics, Philosophy or anything alongside those lines is always welcomed. Even if you don't know anything about those subjects but are willing to listen, he'll be happy.

Prepare for Narancia bursting in your room with a new dance, a song to listen to, or cool trick he's come up using Aerosmith, and way too much excitement. The latter one is only allowed if you're in the garden, but try to stop him from shooting any plants while you're there.

Drunk conversations with Abbacchio at 3 am. are a MUST. He'll only ever share his alcohol if he's feeling dizzy already, so wait until he starts getting a bit off and you're good to go. Do you remember anything you talked about after that night? Nope. Maybe you discussed the meaning of life, maybe you just yelled at the Tv watching old races of formula one, or maybe you've found the cure for cancer...But you'll never know.

Bruno is a safe space in the house. If you want to catch a break and take it easy from the others' chaos, he's the most reliable one. You don't have to necessarily do anything together if you don't want to, but his presence alone guaranteed to make you relax.

Don't go into the basement, please. It used to be a nice and tidy place where Bruno kept old stuff he didn't need anymore, but it progressively became more and more messy once the gang came along. Now legends say that old artifacts and mystical objects, such as Mista's hair, ended up there and were never found again.

The house has a lot of very pretty balconies with a wonderful view of the city. A couple of times a day you should go out and take some fresh air admiring Napoli, it's very soothing.

The roof is also a perfect place to if you look for a great sight of the town. If you're brave enough, you can climb up from one of the balconies. If you're not, that's fine: there's a safer ladder that will bring you there in the backyard, and you always have the support of the others if you felt scared anyway :)

Speaking of which...Yes, they may come off as extremely annoying and overbearing sometimes, but remember that once you settled in, you're family to them and there's no changing that.

They will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what the problem or your reaction to it might be. Rest assured that you won't have to face it nor suffer alone, they'll all there to lend a hand for you and help you through it. Even if you're just feeling sad for no reason, someone will undoubtedly try to cheer you up, and succeed in doing so.

Sure, maybe some of them are not the best at expressing that they care, but they truly do and will show it to you in one way or another, whether it's direct or subtle, they will let you know you can count on them.

Movie and game nights are...Something else for sure! Every time one or two people get to pick what you're gonna play or watch, and since they have very different tastes, you can be sure as you can be that you'll enjoy yourself and have fun.

For example, one week you're watching the most gut-wrenching disturbing, complex and traumatizing movie of all time, picked by Abbacchio just to scare you all for his own amusement. Narancia will be screaming, Trish is acting like she's fine but is actually holding on to someone, Giorno is getting shushed by everyone because he's got a third eye and is somehow predicting the whole plot. A loud "SHUT THE FUCK UP, GIORNO!" from our goth man is gonna be obligatory.

The other week, instead, Mista and Narancia decided you were going to play Smash, and you WILL be playing Smash. Poor Bruno is trying to find the pattern to the attacks and fails to realize that those two dorks just spam random buttons hoping to win. Needless to say, they end up losing anyway. Also, Fugo almost threw the controller and broke the Tv a couple of times, but shhh it's okay they're rich, they can buy a new one.

The sweetest part about these "events", however, is that at the end of the night, you're all super tired. You'll just end up falling asleep all together in the salon, cuddling up against each other to feel warm, without even realizing it. The Morning after, whoever wakes up first usually makes breakfast for the rest, so you all also eat together before actually starting your day ^^

Get this through your system: no matter the time of the day, someone will be up. There isn't a single moment during those 24 hours in which they are all asleep. You'll find Mista sleeping at 3 pm on the living room couch, just to see him stealing salami from the fridge at 2 am while you were just trying to get a glass of water. He won't even let you leave and just ramble about his latest theory about salami.

Yes, your sleep routine is gonna get fucked up too, cope. Also, very often you'll hear noises coming from other rooms, although it's probably just Bruno and Abbacchio banging like there's no tomorrow . When that happens, spend time with someone until you both fall asleep, or get yourself something to block out the noise. (I'd choose the first option, but you do you).

The house has a sort of balcony that acts as an entrance to the garden. On some nights, you may find someone (usually the quietest members) hanging around there. Stop to talk to them for a while, they're weirdly more open about their feelings at that time of the day.

Mista, Narancia and Trish are going to CONSTANTLY ask you to hang out, these guys enjoy the outdoors way too much. Before you know it, you're dressed up to go party in the hugest, loudest, most crowded disco you're ever seen.

Or maybe they're dragging you to a bar and gossip about people all night, OR they're planning to infiltrate in some rich guy's party they only found out about because Trish is famous and knows way too many people.

Don't worry if you get nervous though, they'll stick around by your side to make sure you feel comfortable, and they'll leave if they see you starting get overwhelmed. All of you need to have a good time or it's no fun.

Group reading with Fugo and Giorno. I repeat: group reading with Fugo and Giorno.

Okay, the stuff they recommend might not be the most exciting, but I can guarantee you that if you manage to actually read it, the discussions and conversations you're going to have about it will make up for it. You can basically see their eyes light up and soon as you begin talking and discussing its themes, you'll find yourself carried about by their excitement without even realizing it.

While it's something they usually do alone, sometimes Bruno and Abbacchio will take you fishing with them. It's a complete moment of chill away from the excitement of your everyday life, not to mention that Bucciarati is a great fisherman and dinner that night will be delicious.

If you think these guys are enough chaotic as they are, brace yourself for Holidays time.

Get ready to help decorate the whole house, which, considering its dimensions, is no easy job. The best thing you can do in this case is go with the flow and, most of all, follow Narancia's lead: the two of you will be setting up everything for even DAYS, if it's necessary.

Prepare for constant snowball fights, dudes blasting Christmas music ridiculously loud, alcohol disappearing at an even faster rate than usual, presents flying all over the salon aand lastly...An actual quiet Christmas night where you'll simply be watching a movie together and drinking hot cocoa in front of the fireplace.

Don't be tricked, the next day the extroverted trio is already asking you to go with on them on a Christmas themed party. Good luck.

You guys fight over the best spot under the air conditioner during Summer time, and the winner always turns out to be Trish. Alternately, if someone's able to compromise enough, you'll go get something fresh to change the mood a bit.

One last thing I'd like to mention is that, in the middle of the living room, there is a big frame with all eight of you smiling together. If things ever get rough, look up and remember that your family is always there for you :)

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Ok yall im about to watch Remainder (2015)

I love how when i started my Sandman obsession i was like 'ok but we arent gonna get obsessed with Tom Sturridge' and now here we are. Ive watched Pirate Radio like 3 times and now im watching this

Disclaimer: idk what exactly this movie is about. Ive read a synopsis before but that was a while ago and i forgot what it was so 🤷‍♀️

The rest is under a read more, so, incoherent rambling ahead (hopefully). If not ill just be yelling abt how pretty he is i guess

Spoilers ahead

Oh god its starting aaahhhh

Hes panting....

So he's walking around frantically (but not like. Panicked) with a suitcase

Ok he left his luggage and now something fell-

HOLY SHIT he just got bashed in the head by something falling

How is he not fucking dead that was BRUTAL

Oh ok so hes basically dead??

Oh no hes awake actually

3 minutes in and this is a rollercoaster already jesus

Ok so he's in the MRI end he's remembering something

Ok creepy old lady

HE'S SPEAKING AAAAHHHH

Oooh he's scraggly here. Long hair and a beard

Ouch i feel bad for him :( he got tea and then fell while carrying it back to the bed

Did he rip the phone cord out of the wall on purpose

Ok tbh this is getting kinda tedious

Ooooh wait now its getting interesting

Ok so hes in the phone booth bcs he accidentally(?) pulled his phone cord out of the wall and this guy is impatient and wants to use the phone but gives up and goes away.

Then these two guys pull up in a car and are trying to get him out of the phone booth. The guy from before pulls out his phone and starts recording and one of the two guys reveals he has a gun. The guy recording manages to spook the two guys off.

Tom (T. Sturridge's character) gets out of the booth with the help of the recording guy, looks at him intensely and calls him Christopher. Chris gets kinda freaked out bcs that's his name and Tom somehow knows it.

INTRIGUING. Which is great bcs i was about to skip forward

Oh shit now there's some lady in his house

He knows her??? Ok

Also he did rip the phone out of the wall on purpose

Oh thank god hes getting a haircut

Oh also btw hes getting a settlement for the accident which is 8.5 million pounds but after taxes and stuff itll be like in the hundred thousands. The catch is that he can't talk about it. Which to him is all well and good bcs he doesn't remember anything about it.

Its kinda implied by this point that there's more to this than just an accident

Aww he's talking to the lady (idk her name and at this point we don't know his either) and he says he remembers her. He specifically remembers seeing her right before the accident (which we saw earlier), he remembers her smell and remembers kissing her or someone who looks like her

They're in the lawyers office and GOD is he pretty here

I noticed the way he moves his hands kinda oddly in The Sandman and i wondered if that was a character choice but i think he just Does That?? Idk we'll see

Im so confused. What??

I'm even more confused

How dare he look pretty with blood on his face looking pathetic in the subway

Oh shit thats a little complicated

So he went to this guys house where hes having a halloween party. The dudes name is Greg(??) and knows our guy. We find out the lady's name is Catherine and she is Gregs wife. Our guy is kinda agitated and trying to leave (for some reason) and Greg keeps pulling him back. Greg drops that she is/was his wife and that shes a liar and our guy pushes past him, goes into the bathroom amd vomits in the sink.

"Blizz. I think youre bad at explaining. None of this makes sense!" Exactly. Im even more confused

I have faith this will all make sense soon. We are only 30 mins in.

Is this just a 'this movie' thing or a British thing?? Is everyone this impatient all the time?? First hes in the phone booth for literally 5 seconds before someone tells him to hurry up. Now hes in the bathroom for maybe like 1 minute before people are like 'hey hurry it tf up' like CHILL yall

Ok nows a good time to mention this. He keeps having visions/flashbacks of this little boy in a red and blue coat and a creepy old lady

Oh shit that was intersting. Ok so he had a vision of walking around his flat and he winds up in the stairwell and he sees the old lady. She says something and he cant make it out so he asks 'What?' and she looks kind of up and next to him and the little boy is right there. The boy holds a hand out, our guy closes his eyes and he opens them to find himself still in the bathroom.

Wild. Ok. Im a bit more intrigued than confused now

Ok he was in the bathroom for an hour apparently. Theyre justified in yelling at him. But he also suffered severe brain damage so 🤷‍♀️

✨️arts and crafts time✨️

Catherines back!

He's kinda wary of her after his convo with Greg but she shows pics of herself in Oxford (where she said she was going) then they start bantering a bit and he says theyve had this conversation before and asks if she remembers and she says no :(

They're kissing aahhh

Oh shit Greg called her

He threw her phone at the wall and told her to get the fuck out

Hes not having a good time. Tbh he never was

Ok so he made a cardboard house during his arts and crafts time. For what? I have no idea.

Ok he lifted up the top and now he just destroyed it. Forget about the house we hate the house

Ok actually don't forget about the house he's calling realtors to ask about the house he recreated

Use a laptop you loser ❤️

OOOOH OKAY

So remember the vision he had in the bathroom?? THATS THE HOUSE HES LOOKING FOR. THE HOUSE HE WAS IN IN THE VISION. IT WASNT HIS FLAT.

Ok i think i get it? Hes having these visions and he remembers things and hes trying to recreate the memories and figure out what the visions are

Ok also i like the realtor guy. Hes working with him to figure out what the place hes been seeing is. Down to the old lady and the little boy.

Also we find out more details. The old lady cooks liver all the time to the point where our guy can smell it upstairs and puts her trash out whenever our guy leaves his apartment. Theres a guy who composes music and our guy can hear it upstairs.

Like hes professional and obviously a biy weirded out but hes not just like. Dismissing him out of hand

Also id youve seen The Kissing Gifs, this guy is the guy he kisses later on

The realtor guys colleagues find the house within like. Minutes and our guy is THRILLED

"I want you full-time, all the time." "Im not cheap." KISS ALREADY, DAMN

Oh shit it's those two guys from the phone booth

Oh ok so he wants to literally recreate the visions. He bought the complex he was seeing and he described the lady and the other dude so the realtor guy can move them in i guess?? And hes having construction workers make it EXACTLY as he saw it.

This man has Issues. Thats it thats the movie(?)

Oh my god he's having it recreated down to the fucking CATS on the roof. Jesus christ.

This part is hilarious

Ok so they tied the cats down to the roof bcs they were falling off the roof (horrifying). Our guy sees this and is like 'wtf no' so they have this amazing convo

Naz: These are the last cats we have

Tom: ...so?

Naz: So if they fall we'll be cat-less

Tom: Then we'll get more cats- why are we even having this conversation?

Like it's awful but funny as shit

Realtor guys name is Naz (we just found out)

(The cat handler quit btw)

Jfc he's like. Inspecting the people who are moving in with Intense Eye Contact

Oh my god hes like. Ordering this guy to do nothing but compose music that has ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN day in and day out and start over again and again

Holy fuck this is so Wild. There are people in line who literally have their faces covered (bcs i guess he doesn't know what they look like????)

He just told this lady that there's a broom closet but he doesn't want her to ever use it. But she needs to think about it. WHAT THE FUCK

"You will notice there are some rooms that have been left blank. Like the masks some of you are wearing. You're not less important, you're just less specific."

Hey. Hey Tom. Do you take constructive criticism? How about you use that small fortune and go to ✨️therapy✨️

Greg's a bit of a douche

Wow this is creepy as shit

He's going into the house and everyones in place recreating the vision but its just so... produced.

Hes micromanaging the SHIT out of this

HE WANTED TO MAKE THE LITTLE BOY APPEAR AGAIN. HE TOLD NAZ THAT THE BOY APPEARS WHEN EVERYTHING'S RIGHT. I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THE LITTLE BOY

Also the old lady fell when she was doing her thing and it knocked him out of seeing the boy

Christopher (the guy from the phone booth) seems chill.

Also Toms proposition is weird but not like. Actively malicious. He told Chris that he wanted him to stay at the phone booth. The longer he stays the more he gets paid. Also that the phone will ring and he gets paid if he answers it

We have 50 minutes left in this fucking movie

Oooohhhh hes sleeping with some random lady to try and recreate a memory i think

OH he's trying to recreate the memory with Catherine but without Catherine

Nooo those guys got Christopher :(

Naz is a real one

Oh god hes recreating Christophers death. HES PLAYING THE ROLE OF CHRISTOPHER HIMSELF

He had the guys use an ACTUAL TASER on him

Naz was like 'youre not using an actual taser' and Tom was like 'then go home' and i guess Naz decided to stay lmaooo

He threw up afterwards bcs being tased is Not Fun and was like 'again' and Naz (who is very sweet) was like 'i don't understand why it's necessary to hurt yourself'

Once again, NAZ IS A REAL ONE

Theyre still doing it again tho

Nvm he walked out of the phone booth and immediately collapsed lmao

Oof the lady he has playing Catherine is Over It

'I won't hurt you' he says as he has his hand around her neck

Men will do literally anything other than go to therapy

He scared the living shit out of her and now she's just reciting her lines on autopilot to appease him

To his credit, he feels bad about it (bare minimum)

Nvm about that actually

Sir you just traumatized some random lady bcs YOU can't deal

Oh fuck

Ok so the two guys got him

Apparently he stole the suitcase he had in the beginning of the movie before the accident and they wanna know where it is

Which is a problem bcs Tom can't really remember anything

Oh shit they're torturing him abt it

Oh wow that house is super fucked up

Literally everyones waiting in place and Tom and Naz are just. Upstairs.

They've been frozen for OVER AN HOUR

Tom's just. Watching tv like he doesn't have a dozen people frozen in place downstairs.

Wealth really does fuck you up huh

Ok bcs of Reasons theyre reenacting a bank robbery. Don't ask me why. I know why but i just don't feel like explaining it

Is Naz a realtor? I don't think he is actually. I just assumed. Sorry Naz.

At least he has a lot of stuff to put on his resume now? He could make a killing in theatre. That's basically what he's doing now is stage managment

Omg in this scene he looked like Dream for a second there

See, he wants it to feel real, but he's producing it every step of the way

THEY KISSED

Holy shit

Ok so. Basically he wants to do an actual bank robbery.

The hyperrealistic set isn't enough. If im hearing him correctly he wants to do an actual, honest to god bank robbery with real guns and everything at the actual bank where it happened

Without the actors' knowledge

Guess who works at the bank? Catherine.

This is so fucked up

What the fuck

Holy shit Tom shot him

What a psychopath

Oh my GOD

He just shot all the actors

THE KID IS REAL

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

WHAT THE FUCK

IM SHAKING WHAT THE FUCK

BRO YOU JUST KILLED 4 PEOPLE

NO FUCKING WAY

ITS STARTING OVER AGAIN

Its over oh my god

Final thoughts: Just... im speechless. What the fuck. I dont even know what to think. What a trip. It starts off super slow but damn. I might rewatch just to figure out what the Fuck but thats not high on the priority list. I might watch Like Minds next??

[outivv]

The idea of the boys missing you really makes me soft. Imagine them suddenly stopping whatever they're doing thinking "I wonder where they are, I wish they were here" and feeling all the more lonelier once they remember you won't be coming home before a good while :( (I feel like the most love-starved ones would be especially affected, like Diluc and Xiao) Hcs for these two + Zhongli and Childe longing their s/o and what they do to cope with the gap? How often do they think about them, what do they miss the most about them? What's their first reaction seeing them back, how clingy are they afterwards?

Synopsis: clingy headcanons with genshin characters

Characters: Diluc, xiao, zhongli, and Childe

Warnings: none it’s really just fluff

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello! Thank you for requesting! I personally am very clingy so writing this just made me feel very soft :’) I hope you enjoy, and have a nice day!

— Diluc —

I’m pretty sure we can all accept that Diluc is super touch starved. And I personally feel like he just always craves your touch. He isn’t like creepy about it though. He just wants to feel loved :(

So when you say that you’re going to liyue for a couple of days to get some materials, he feels his heart absolutely drop. He’s not gonna show it though. He’s too stubborn for that.

He literally can’t sleep without you. He just needs the comfort of you being in the same house. He tosses and turns almost all night until he just gets up and starts working. The maids are very confused, and of course they start gossiping. As usual.

He thinks about you all. the. time. Eating breakfast is a reminder of how you aren’t there to make him smile right away in the morning. Going to mondstadt feels lonely even though he’s surrounded by people.

All of this makes him sound like he’s not self sufficient. Which... no, he is. He can handle himself but the gears in head are turning relentlessly with the thought of you constantly.

He mostly just starts working more with your absence. There isn’t much else to do without you here, so why not get some work done.

What Diluc misses most about you is your presence. He just wants you to be there, with him.

The moment you walk back into the winery, he rushes out of his office and calmly (not very calmly) goes down the stairs to embrace you in a warm hug.

He’s pretty clingy afterwards. He puts some work things on hold and just spends a few days with you. For these few days he is strictly little spoon. No if, ands, or buts. He is little spoon.

Constantly tells you how he missed you and loves you. You rarely see this side of him, so make sure to treasure it. For it is fairly short lasting.

— xiao —

Oh boy. He rarely gets clingy with you, but when he does he doesn’t hold back. And when he finds out you’re leaving for a few days to go help someone named jean with some stupid hilichurl problems for a few days. He is lowkey grumpy, but at the same time he understands.

Xiao isn’t good with coping... he bottles everything inside and kinda just expects it to go away. (But xiao that’s not gonna work when you keep thing about it)

He constantly thinks about you. He wonders if you’ll be ok, what you’re doing in mondstadt, and even if you’re safe with the people you’re staying with. He just wants to make sure you’re ok.

What he misses most about you is just your voice. He just wants to listen to you talk about the dumbest things. Sometimes he finds it annoying but he never realized how much he’d miss your “annoying” voice until now.

His first reaction is just a mix of shock, and a ‘holly shit I just want to hug them but don’t want to seem weird’. So he just kinda... stands there, holding onto the end of his shirt wanting to hug you so freaking bad. Please just hug the poor boy :(

He would be extremely clingy afterwards, but he doesn’t want to be. He wants to hold you so close, and bury his face in the crook of your neck as you play with his hair. But instead he just sits two feet away from you staring at the ground.

He doesn’t know how to initiate it so he’s gonna wait for you to. But once you do... you aren’t getting up. He quite literally has infinite time to waste, so you aren’t getting up.

— Zhongli —

Zhongli is an independent adult who can survive on his own for about a week as you help beidou with some stuff on her ship. That being said he literally can’t sleep without you.

Like he will hold onto your pillow cause he just can’t sleep without you next to him.

He doesn’t exactly cope with it either... he’s like xiao, and waits for it to go away except he keeps reminding himself that you’ll be back in x amount of days.

He thinks of you a lot. Zhongli has an impeccable memory, so it’s not really a surprise when he thinks of you a lot.

He misses the sight of you the most. A bit odd I know. But he genuinely just loves staring at you. Just admiring the minor things you do, and you still look gorgeous.

Zhongli isn’t a very clingy person at all, but he does still have his moments. Another thing he misses most is cuddling with you and feeling you play with his hair. Just holding you so close and your hands run through the long strands of his hair.

When he sees you he greets you with a kiss and hug, and whispers in your ear an ‘I love you, and I thought if you everyday’

He won’t be very clingy at first, but then it kicks in that you were gone for a little over a week. Zhongli s basically like, ‘wow you were gone for a little over a week and now you’re here... huh... well time to cuddle with my s/o’

He’s just a bit softer with you than he usually is. And that’s saying something because zhongli is typically very soft, and gentle with you.

— Childe —

Sheesh, when you told him that you were called out for a commission in mondstadt that would take a while, he just started pouting. Like a baby. An actual child.

He understands that work is work, and also understands what going away due to said work is like. So he understands and respects you for that. But that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Literally every morning he just groans cause you aren’t next to him to kiss him, and say good morning.

He thinks of you all the time, but it’s like ‘hey I wonder what y/n would like for dinner? Wait... goddammit they’re not here... well... that sucks for me’

He doesn’t really have time to cope, so he just constantly tries to think if other things than you.

When you get back Childe is all over you. No joke, mans literally drags you back home to cuddle.

Will constantly tell you how much he loves you and not to leave for that long again, and that next time he’s coming with you.

[themultifandomgal]

Stiles- Let Me Help

I'm sat in my room with Stiles, we've been secretly dating for a few months now. I found out I was an empath fairy before Stiles and I started to date. I found out because some stupid Wolf, cough cough Peter, decided he was going to bite me and try to turn me into a Wolf. Unlike Lydia who basically went crazy, I just started to feel peoples emotions. I would cry one minute and then laugh the next… ok maybe I did go a little crazy, but at least I didn’t end up wondering round the woods naked. Anyway Stiles helped me to control my powers so I don’t get overwhelmed with everyone’s emotions. I had help from Derek and the others as well. I can now also see into peoples minds and dreams, but this I’m still very new too. Due to all of this I've learnt a fair bit about the supernatural. Wolves, banshees, kanimas, fairies, they’re all real!

I want to help out with the pack more, but Stiles won’t let me, he doesn’t think I’m ready so now we’re having an argument about this for the 3rd time this week

"How much do you know about this stuff?" he asks pacing up and down my room

"Pieces. Half of its like a dream" I sigh not really defending my case in helping

"Well guess what? the other half is a freaking nightmare" Stiles slightly yells

"I don't care. I can help. I can help keep everyone calm I can…” Stiles cuts me off

"You see that's the problem you don't care about getting hurt. Well you wanna know how I'll feel. I'll be devastated if you die I will literally go out of my freaking mind. You see that doesn't happen to you YN it happens to everyone around you ok? To all the people left standing at your funeral trying to figure out how they're gonna live the rest of their lives now without you in it? Huh? And look at my face huh?” I roll my eyes scoffing at Stiles “come on you actually think this was meant to hurt me? Um.... I'm so sorry" Stiles now says realising how stupid he sounds right now

"Look Stiles I love you and love that you want to keep me safe. But I'm still helping whether you like it or not”

“I hate this, I’m going to worry about you the whole time”

“I know you will, but Dereks been training me to fight. Stiles you know me. If I didn’t feel comfortable, or ready I wouldn’t be sat here arguing with you, but I swear to you I’m ready to help out. You help and your human”

“Thank YN” Stiles looks hurt by this

“No Stiles that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that I can look after myself. Plus the rest of the pack will be there so if something goes wrong or I do get hurt then they will get me out of there. Even Peter will keep me safe”

"I know” Stiles sighs “ok fine come on, let's go" Stiles sighs in defeat and I smile

"I love you you know" I walk up to him

"I know. I love you too" I press my lips on his before we're interrupted by his phone ringing "come on let's help our friends"

“Time to test out my new powers” I rub my hands together mischievously

“Oh no what’s Derek been teaching you” Stiles whines

“Nothing bad, but I’ll be able to anticipate everyone’s moves, the right or wrong thing to do. My powers pretty cool isn’t it?”

“It’s very cool YN” I feel a rush of happiness run through me. I look at Stiles as we exit my house and enter his jeep. I know the emotion is from him. I take his hand in mine after we enter the jeep and we make our way to the vet clinic

“So do you think your gonna sprout wings next and start flying?” Stiles asks making me chuckle

“I don’t think that’s possible”

“A year ago I didn’t believe in werewolves, banshees, fairies, any of it. Boy was I wrong. Anything’s possible YN”

“I guess, but I’m still not convinced”

[heresathreebee]

No Touching

[Ava Starr x Female!Reader]

Summary: Friend dates with Ava always brighten your day (and night). Tonight is more enlightening than brightening, though… 

Previous Masterlist Next

Word count: 1.7 words

Warning(s): 14+ | angst, gay panic, dolls, 1 (one) racist antique, Steven Segal movie, chronic pain, tears.

AN: No actually I didn't bother to edit this, not doing that anymore, I think too much as it is. As always, I write with a black reader in mind but feel free to read even if you aren't. 🖤

You are eighty percent sure that you and Ava are dating.

85%... 78%... 81.5% sure.

It would probably be best if you cleared that up (but be cool about it though). You've started seeing each other more and more, and on purpose no less. Never a dull conversation, she's reluctant to share some of her life story but she's eager to know everything about you and you're more than happy to indulge. It's not like you know nothing about her; you just don't know the specifics of her past. 

Her parents died when she was young, she's ex-military (you think?), and she just came off of a huge life change and is getting used to what she calls 'real life.' You figure out she's a bit of a shut in and hates crowds, so you go out of your way to show her quiet places and introduce her to things she's never tried before. The bowl by your front door where you put your keys has 20 or 30 marbles from ramune bottles in it. You can't seem to ring her secret out of her, she just gives you this cryptic knowing smile and laughs at your attempts to sweet talk or annoy it out of her. 

You feel so close, growing closer still, she's quickly become the best part of your week, and you catch yourself thinking about her even when she's not with you. But you've never held hands. Hell, you've never even so much as brushed shoulders with her by accident. If you're dating, shouldn't you at least hug her goodbye? Is she even able to be into you like that?? 

You try not to let the panic set in as you stand outside of the antiques mall. You told her you liked old things and promised to show her your favorite pastime. God, how do you go about this? Should you just flirt with her and see how she reacts? Also how does one flirt? What if you’re fucking up and she really just wants to be friends? God knows you could use some friends right now. 

When she does appear, you do nothing. You continue to act relaxed and enjoy her presence, promising yourself you’ll ask about it afterwards. Ava’s wearing that grey jacket again made of a thin sports fabric and you make a mental note it might rain today. 

“Ava,” you stage whisper, waving her out of the jewelry section by the front desk and into the maze of vintage old clothes and furniture. “Back here, to the left.” 

Deep deep deep in a corner of the massive store, Ava stops dead in her tracks (you run into her but back away quickly) and stares. 

“This... is…” Ava covers her mouth with her hands to hold her laughter in, “ghastly.” 

The shelf is wide, with dark wood trimming and protective glass. The lights are almost fluorescent as they illuminate dozens of humanoid dolls. Some are cute, but some are also creepy, unnerving, down right scary. 

You point at the one with the Jonbenet Ramsey likeness and deep cracks in her porcelain face. It was overly large compared to the rest, having to have stuffed legs crossed like a sitting child. "I think I fear that one the most." 

You felt Ava shiver and didn't even realize you were standing that close. Her eyes darted from face to face, taking in every terrible and wonderful detail of them. You smelled coconut in her hair and tried to distance yourself a bit, missing the conversation. "Huh?" 

"I said they're haunted, aren't they?" 

"That one definitely is." You look over the other dolls. "I don't know, I think the rest are kinda cute. 'Cept that one: that one can fuck off straight to hell." 

Down on the second shelf where the light began to struggle in reach belied an offensive porcelain joke. The decoration portrayed an over animated child at play, with oil black skin, fat red lips, and bulbous eyes. This child was dressed in white rags and sucking on a wedge of fruit. Guess which one. Fucking guess, I dare you. 

"It's not even a fucking doll," Ava grumbled. "Why is it here?" 

You leaned in to whisper, "someday, I'm gonna buy that thing just to fucking smash it on the pavement." 

"Oh, what a lovely sound it would make." 

You hum. "I'm not gonna give nobody money for that trash. Can't steal it either, we'd never make it to the door." 

Ava looked over her shoulder with a cheeky smile. "We?" 

You simply tilt your head at her, and she huffs out a laugh. She nodded as if agreeing with you, then drifted away from the case like a wary woman. You toured through the rest of the store like a treasure trove of other people's memories, war memorabilia, ancient brand merchandise (why would anyone want a life size green m&m in their house? Who is this for?), and paintings from the dadeism era by unpopular artists. You ate lunch at the vendor shops in downtown and retired to your place for a movie. 

You must have fallen asleep at the beginning but you came to during some big shootout between Steven Segal and generic Latino drug dealer #7 when you accidentally dropped your hand into Ava's lap. Quickly, Ava withdrawals, thrusting herself to the other side of the couch as if in disgust. Your head jerks up in hurt and confusion, you hadn't even felt anything except a light tingling. You could barely hear the tv audio over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. 

"You can't touch me," Ava spat. "You just can't. Ever. Please…" 

"I'm sorry. Ava, I– I am so, so sorry I didn't mean to–" 

"It's not your fault and you didn't know," she mumbled and faltered, "it's just… you can't." 

You feel tears prick in the corner of your eyes as you try to swallow. "I'm sorry. Really. It won't happen again." 

Ava looked up at you guiltily and sighed. She folded her legs and eased herself off of the couch arm rest, hands tucked into her lap and unable to meet your eyes anymore. 

"It's not what you think it is," she explained. "I… I have a condition of sorts. And it… it hurts.” 

Her words put a hold on the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “Like a… skin condition? Or nerves or something?” 

Ava nodded quickly. “Yes. yes, like a nerves thing. My um, my nervous system. It's chronic."

“Oh Ava,” you cover your heart with a breathy sigh, “of course! I wish I’d known I would have never–” 

“It’s not something I like to talk about.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m really glad you understand. Sorry I freaked out, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything.” 

You tried to blow a raspberry. “It’s whatever, didn’t hurt my feelings.” 

Yeah, you could hear the weakness of the lie, too. Still, Ava went and parked herself on the couch exactly where she was before– close but not too close. Warm but not quite touching. You were ready to let it slide and go right back to pretending to watch the movie when– 

“So what’s going on between us exactly? I like girls– I like you– and I don’t mean just in a friend sort of way– is it maybe sorta possible you might feel the same way about me?” 

Who said that? You? Honestly you’re feeling a little dizzy as you try and stare a hole in the tv screen. And Ava? Well at least she didn’t hold you in suspense for too long. She chuckled– and god you had to look. You had to know if she was laughing at you or with you. Your eyes snapped to her completely unmocking face. 

She blinked at you, bit her lip even. “Yes, I am.. Capable of liking girls. Might prefer them actually. And I definitely like you in a more-than-a-friend sort of way.” 

It takes a second to sink in. OK, it takes a hot minute to sink in. Like the movie ended and you walked Ava home and you slept in until 10 am and made omelettes for breakfast at noon and laid down on your floor staring at the ceiling until sundown. Yeah that kind of hot minute. And your lips curled into a soft smile because you had a girlfriend and she liked girls and you could not be happier than you are right now. 

~

Ava asked you to meet her on the corner by the antiques mall that night. You don’t know how but she got her grubby, thieving little mitts on that disgusting tar baby doll from the haunted doll shelf. You made her swear up and down she didn’t pay real money for it, then nearly pulled out your hair when you realized it meant she definitely stole it and– 

"How the ffffUCK do you just DO that?!" 

"Slight of hand," she mused. 

Fuck, and she was a geek. Yeah, you're definitely in love. She pushes the ugly thing into your hands and despite being cold porcelain it feels like it's burning. 

"Do the honors." 

There's no build up. No ceremony. You don't want to drag this out anymore. You take a swinging leap and spike that shit and watch it shatter into a hundred pieces with the most glorious sound you'll ever hear. You land in slow motion, already replaying the image of thick glass pieces cracking on the indigo pavement. You stand over your mess, triumphant. 

The quiet of the night time street drifts back to you, as does Ava. "I'll be honest I expected a big speech." 

You shrug. "I've been waiting too long to do that. Thank you, Ava. I mean it." 

"Oh believe me it was my pleasure." Ava swaggers closer to you and if you didnt know better you'd think she was going in for a kiss. "Tonight, the tar baby. Tomorrow, the world." 

You resist the urge to clap her on her shoulders and throw your hands in the air instead. "Sounds like a date!" 

Next

[tyunniverse]

FRIENDS FOR A DAY (2)

pair: yeonjun x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2654

parts: 1 | 2

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

It had been a long time since Yeonjun felt like this. Sometimes life in general had become too much to bear and the things that used to make him happy weren't working for him anymore. Times spent alone slowly became more frequent for him than times he'd spent with his friends.

He'd skipped the first day, not wanting to go back to that routine life just yet. And towards the start of the day, he would never have imagined meeting you and getting to spend the day doing things that strayed far from any of the schedules he'd previously planned. A breath of fresh air was what he liked to call it, and he had you to thank for that.

Unlike him, everything was new to you; a new city, a new school, new people, and a whole new life ahead. Yeonjun felt a little envious after realizing it when you'd talked more about yourselves during lunch, but after seeing how you seemed to enjoy every single second of your little sight seeing endeavor, he thought that maybe he could also be a part of something new in your life.

Best friends.

You had agreed to be his best friend from today onwards; the pendant around your neck serving as proof. Yeonjun finds his hand wandering over to his pocket, holding on to his old necklace.

Half of a star. He'd bought it a few years back. The necklace had a similar purpose with the one he was wearing now— meant to be worn separately by two different people. In his case, he had bought it as a whole and had decided to keep one half of it still in its case, stashed inside his closet. His reasons for purchasing it never really felt clear even to him but he also wouldn't call it an impulsive decision. Yeonjun liked to think that he'd be able to find a use for it in the future.

"Yeonjun." You call for his attention, pointing at the posters plastered on a random shop's wall. "It says that the annual carnival will be opening tonight. Wanna go?"

Yeonjun grins. Opportunities somehow kept showing up right in front of his doorstep. "Yeah, only if you want to though. Afterall, I'm only the tour guide for today."

"Shut up." You hold back a smile. "Have you been there before?"

Yeonjun repeats the question in his mind. As someone one would consider pretty popular, you'd expect him to be no stranger in hanging out at fun places like an annual carnival, but that's just it. Yeonjun had never visited that Carnival once ever since it opened. His friends had asked him to tag along but something about it just never seemed to make him want to.

"No." Yeonjun answers, scratching the back of his head. "If we end up going then this would be my first time too." The first time he'd actually wanted to go.

"I guess we're going then." You grin and Yeonjun finds himself smiling back. "It says here that the Carnival's just around the corner so it'd probably be okay if we just walked there."

"Yeah."

The two of you make your way to the Carnival. You still had a good amount of time left before it opened so a few quick stops at some stalls along the way didn't do any harm.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

In all honesty, Yeonjun didn't even know when and how he'd ended up holding your hand, laughing his heart off by the time you arrived at the entrance but it all just happened somehow. Was it the when your ice cream cone almost landed straight on his shoe earlier? Or when his hand nearly hit you square in the face when he noticed a bug flying towards you? It could've even been when a group of old ladies started hitting on him at the handbag boutique and all you did was stand there shaking, wanting to laugh your ass off.

No matter what the reason was, he liked this. Somehow, it just felt right.

The two of you pay for the tickets before heading inside. The place was larger than any of you had ever expected, cleaner too. People of all ages were enjoying their carnival experience to the fullest. Children were running around with their guardians following closely behind, couples and groups of friends chatting along and taking pictures— Yeonjun could swear he saw two old men arguing over who gets to take a picture with the mascot first.

"So, which ride do you wanna go on first?" You ask, turning to him.

"Well, how about that one." Yeonjun points at the viking and you feel yourself getting more and more excited.

"NICE—" Before Yeonjun knew it, you were dragging him around to every single ride at the carnival.

You liked to keep count of everytime Yeonjun freaked out while you went on the rides, and Yeonjun liked to do the same. Despite the thrill of being at a carnival keeping you hyped up, there were a few times when you had overestimated your tolerance with being thrown around. Yeonjun nearly puked twice: once at the twister, and a second time on the rollercoaster. Even you were almost a victim by the rollercoaster's loops.

Yeonjun had claimed he was an expert at navigating haunted house attractions, stating, "I've been watching horror movies all my life. Nothing scares me at this point, tbh." True enough, nothing scared Yeonjun except every single ominous decoration and jump scares the haunted house threw at him. You weren't too fond of horror yourself, but you ended up trying to be the brave one after Yeonjun basically clung to you half of the time. It didn't help whenever you freaked out since you ended up losing Yeonjun after he not so subtly abandons you at the slightest suspicious sound. It was a miracle you made it out in one piece.

"Yeah, so, uh, sorry about that." Yeonjun laughs it off the moment you two got out.

"Sure but you should know that I'm never gonna let you live it down." You tell him, smiling widely as you hold up the photos you received from one of the staff. "I got evidence."

Yeonjun snatches the photos from your hands. "Bold of you to assume these'll affect me— oh." It definitely did.

You watch as he slips the photos inside his jacket as if it wasn't obvious enough that he was trying to hide it from you. "Nice try but," You take out another batch of photos and wave it around. "Boom. Two copies."

"Wow, okay."

The two of you ended up laughing at each other before you suggest in trying out the stalls. They say time flies by fast when you're having fun and they couldn't be more right. There had been an unspoken competition between you and Yeonjun of who can win the most prizes and let's just say you weren't about to let yourself lose. By the time you got tired, you had a total of three plushies and a bunch of candy bars stuffed in your pockets and well, Yeonjun had the exact amount of prizes you had.

"Fine. It's a draw for now but only because I'm tired." Yeonjun holds the plushies tighter. "We should really get a bag for this. I wonder if we can get a huge plastic bag somewhere."

"Nah, we can just put em in here." You take off your back pack, opening it wide. "I'm sure it can fit all six of them. They're small enough." You were lucky that they did, finally leaving your hands free.

"Wait." Yeonjun pauses after putting the last of his plushies inside. "How can I be sure you won't just take my plushies for yourself after we leave? I'm pretty easy to distract so—"

"If you forget to get them back then I'll just hand them to you tomorrow at school. You go to HSU too, right?" You tell him.

"Yeah, but how will you contact me?"

"Obviously, we exchange numbers."

Yeonjun blinks. Of course that'd be the simplest solution but still. He'd been talking about staying as friends even after all this but the thought of exchanging numbers hadn't really crossed his mind. He takes out his phone and the two of you quickly added each other as contacts, somehow feeling a bit closer after the exchange.

"While we're at it—" Yeonjun pulls you in closer as he bends down. Only now that you've felt Yeonjun's warmth close to you have you noticed how cold it actually was outside . It takes you a few seconds to register that he wants to take a few selfies.

You bust out a smile and tried to go along with whatever weird faces and poses he did. "Send them to me later." You say after examining the photos. There's one where Yeonjun mimicked a kissing motion near your cheek, making you smile. Who would've expected you two were total strangers up until a few hours ago.

"Got room for one last ride?" Yeonjun asks as you return his phone.

"Yeah, sure. Which one?"

"Don't ask as if you don't know. I'm pretty sure you left this one out on purpose."

Perhaps unconsciously, you did. In every single movie that involved the two characters going to a carnival, for some reason, they always left the Ferris Wheel for last. It's not like you wanted something grand to happen when you ride it, but more like you just wanted to get a good view of the entire carnival before leaving. It seemed like the perfect final attraction.

Yeonjun notices how you've gone quiet and decided to hold your hand, pulling you along. "Let's go before the place closes."

"Okay." You look up at him, nodding.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

The Ferris Wheel ride wasn't all you had expected it to be. It looked pretty slow in the movies but right now? You were about to puke.

"Yeonjun, wait." You hold on to Yeonjun who was sitting opposite to you.

The Ferris Wheel was going too fast to your liking and you started feeling dizzy. Getting a good view of the carnival seemed impossible at this point and looking at your partner made you even more miserable.

Yeonjun was having the time of his life. He loved the feeling in his stomach whenever the ride went down, and the fact that you were lowkey suffering right in front of him made him laugh even harder.

The speed went on for a few more rounds until it finally slows down. Your heart and probably everything else stilled once the ride came to a complete stop just as your car reached the top. "Thank God. I felt like I was going to die."

"Well, you're safe for now." Yeonjun grins, leaning back in his heat. "You wanted to enjoy the view, right? We'll be stuck here for probably about a minute or two so enjoy it while it lasts."

"Yeah." You smile back, looking outside the window.

The winds were colder up there, reminding you of how warm it felt when you stood close to Yeonjun earlier. Yeonjun catches you warming yourself up with your hands and chuckles. He takes off his jacket and hands it over to you. "Here, put this on."

"Thanks." You quickly put his jacket on. Usually you'd go for the polite route and turn him down but if you were going to continue this friendship business then you weren't about to suffer in the cold when the dude's practically handing you a solution.

Yeonjun gives you a little smile before you continue to admire the view. Down there, the lights almost looked like a sea of stars. The music around the place didn't really help set the mood but somehow, the mixture of it along with the laughter and delightful screams of the other visitors made it feel right. After everything that happened today, you felt like it was the right decision to end the day with this breathtaking sight.

And Yeonjun couldn't agree more. The lights below reflected in your eyes in a way that made the atmosphere lighter. He could tell you were happy and right now, that seemed to be enough for him.

The Ferris Wheel began moving. Yeonjun snickers as he felt you grab for his hand, worried that the ride might throw you off once more, but it didn't. The way down was slow, allowing you to enjoy the ride in peace. Your pendant started to shine, reflecting the lights. It reminded him of everything that happened, from the moment you two met and agreed on a friendship that would last for only a day, up until now where he held your hand on the Ferris Wheel after deciding to be friends for real this time. The pendant became the sole proof of that friendship and Yeonjun couldn't help but wonder if the ones he bought a few years back would truly be of any use in the future. But what would it symbolize for? Who knows, he might just give you the other half.

Your car comes to a stop and the doors open. The realization that the day has officially come to an end left you feeling disappointed. Yeonjun squeezes your hand, bringing your attention to him. He gestures for the two of you to get up and you do, finally stepping back on the ground.

Both you and Yeonjun felt that the way back to the entrance was too fast. It really did seem like the two of you wouldn't see each other again despite the fact you went to the same university. The thought felt silly but that's just how the carnival experience gets to you.

"I guess this is it." Yeonjun speaks up first. "You live pretty far from here, right? I can take you home if you want."

"It's okay. My cousin lives nearby and I texted her earlier that I'd be staying over." You tell him, not wanting him to worry. "How about you? Will you be alright on your own?"

"Yeah, definitely." Yeonjun reassures, holding up his hands. "Oh, and by the way. Is it okay if I leave the plushies on your bag for now? I can't exactly carry them on the way back. If it's ok with you."

"Don't worry. You can just take them back tomorrow." You grin and Yeonjun smiles back. "Also, I'm keeping your jacket for now. I'll return it after I clean it up."

"I can work with that." He shouldn't feel this happy but he did. In a way, he was able to find an excuse to meet up with you tomorrow without things getting awkward. Maybe this friendship could work out afterall.

"Thanks for today. Honestly, this was the most fun I've had ever since I got here." You say, taking one last look at him.

I should be the one to thank you. "You know, I have a lot of things I wanna say to you right now but I think I'm gonna wait until I feel like it."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. I'll text you later." Yeonjun gives you a quick pat on the shoulder before running off to the opposite direction. "See you at school! And don't forget to bring the kids!"

You raise a brow. Did he just refer to the plushies as his kids?

He felt dumb, running away from you. The longer he stayed, the more he had trouble leaving, which was new for him. It's been a while since he actually found someone he'd like to hang out with and he was having trouble controlling his excitement. Soon, you'd be able to visit each other's houses, hang out more freely, talk about your days as if it were nothing, and get to know each other more. Honestly speaking, Yeonjun couldn't wait for that day to come but I guess he'll just have to start with tomorrow.

[katerinabythesea95]

Well here it is, the story of how I met Bo! Gonna take a while to tell the whole thing, so here's part one

Warning! Pretty LONG chapter (sorry, still can't figure out how to make the keep reading breaks)

Absolute

I've seen this one before, the girl she gets away

Everybody knows it but no one tries to stop it

Cause she barely even knows him but if she could see inside

Everything is quiet as she waits to tell him who she is

The rain pattered loudly against the rooftop of my house and the sky had finally gotten dark. Perfect timing and weather for a horror movie marathon. I love watching movies at home as much as I like seeing them in the movie theater. I live on my own so whenever I'm home from work, I like just vegging out with my cat, Juliet.

People always ask me if I don't get lonely, since I don't really go out much except to the mall on weekends, but honestly my life experiences have made me enjoy solitude more than company. Don't get me wrong, when I'm around people Im a chatterbox and I like to make people laugh and cheer them up, but also I get mentally drained and need to be on my own to recharge.

I go to the kitchen with Juliet following my every step (She's literally my shadow, I can't go anywhere in the house without her on my trail. She's super clingy) and I start fixing some snacks. I take out a pot, wash it and put a capful of oil in it. I spread it around by swerving the pot in circles. I take out a popcorn bag and open it, exposing the unpopped kernels and butter, and scrape it onto the pot.

You may be wondering why I don't just use a microwave, but mine broke recently, and I haven't gotten around to buying a new one. Besides I don't really need it, I can manage perfectly fine without it.

I spread out the kernels so that they cover the bottom of the pan, and cover it with a lid. I turn on the stove to a medium flame and put the pot on.

While the popcorn Is heating up, I take out a bowl and retrieve my bag of twizzlers from the fridge along with some sprite soda. I also take out some of Juliet's treats and set everything on a tray. Juliet perks up at the sound of the bag of treats and she meows and jumps up on the counter.

"Hold on baby, you have to wait a bit longer." I chuckle and set her down on the floor again, and she just starts purring against my legs as I walk back to the stove. The popcorn is jumping up and I stare at it, something I like to do for some reason, It's just fun watching it. After the popping slows down to a stop I carefully lift the lift with a cloth and put it in the sink. I pour the popcorn into my bowl and set the pot in the sink as well, I'll wash it later. (I keep my house clean, but I'm not a clean freak like my mom was when I lived with her)

Once everything is set, I carry the tray slowly to the living room and set it over my lap as I settle into the couch. I give Juliet her treats. I look over to the TV and sigh. Not again. I forgot to get the remote from the table. Ugh. I pick up the tray again, set it on the table, grab the remote and put it on the tray and get back to the couch. Ahh. Much better.

I press play and one of my comfort movies, House of Wax, starts playing. (The 2005 version, not the Vincent Price one.) I freaking love this movie so much. The funny thing is if anyone asked me, I wouldn't say it's the BEST horror movie ever, because I feel it's a bit too fast paced, the characters are introduced rather hastily: nor is it the scariest, although the last movie that scared me was jeepers creepers when I was like eight or so. But it IS brilliantly made, and I really love the concept.

I also ADORE the villains, The Sinclairs. Yes yes, I Know, they're evil sadistic serial killers, but aside from their, uh, extracurricular activities, they have really interesting personalities. They're not expanded so much in the movie, but that's another part of the story that I love, the ambiguity of it all.

I'm a writer, so I love to create different scenarios and stories about the brothers and also my other fav characters from movies, shows and books. It's really entertaining. I turn the volume up and relax as I enjoy the movie for the gazillionth time, but something really strange happens, My tv starts flickering and making a strange ringing sound and the house starts shaking, like in supernatural when archangels are approaching. Oh crap it's the end of the world, I think to myself. I look for Juliet, but can't find her, and then the tv turns off suddenly and everything turns completely dark and silent for the briefest of seconds. Then-

WHOOOOO SHHH I suddenly feel like I'm in a extremely fast roller coaster and I struggle to breathe as I move. I see a blinding light and then everything goes black again.

My eyes slowly open, and everything is still dark. Like, literally pitch black. I groan as I get up and dust myself off. Now where the hell am I? The upside down?

"You can say that." A sudden echo of a voice startles me, making me jump.

"Who's there? And What the heck is going on around here?" I ask with a frown

"Be wise,Choose the correct path,You are chosen."

The voice says. My eyes grow heavy and I fall to the ground again.

When I next awake, I see the pale blue sky and white fluffy clouds above me. What? I realize I'm laying on the hard, cold ground and sit up. I notice that I don't have my glasses and I find them next to me. I sigh in relief when I confirm that they aren't scratched up at all, but when I put them on I see blurry. Like when peter parker out on his glasses after getting but by the spider in the Toby Maguire spiderman movie. I look around and see familiar buildings. Am I...am I in Ambrose??? No. It's impossible. House of Wax is just a movie, it's not real. I wince as I touch the painful bump on my forehead. My dreams are usually realistic, but bizarre, but I don't remember legit feeling pain in anybody them, when the ones where I'm hurt.

I stand up and see the infamous church way down the road. I'm near the washout at the town's entry. Hmm as unbelievable as it sounds, I think I've been transported into the movie. This some freaking twilight zone type ish, that's what it is. I sigh. So what now? I'm literally stuck inside a horror movie. Or I'm dreaming that I am. I don't know how long I'll survive. Oh gosh I hope i dont become stupid like people in these movies. Wait, that's not always the case, the final destination characters were smart… but they still died. I roll my eyes. I won't stand long against the Sinclair twins. Wait, Bo…. Vincent…I have to save them! If they kill me, before I can explain everything to them, at least I died trying to save someone.

I turn and run straight to the Church, hoping Bo is still there. I ran out of breath halfway through town. At least it's a small town, or I'll die before reaching the church. I look behind me and see two figures coming up the road. My eyes widen. Ah crap they're here, Carly Jones and Wade Felton. Its like back to the future.I've just been thrown into the plot of the movie. I have two options: the sane one, the obvious one, to go over to Carly and wade and tell them that they're going to be hunted, and run away with them, oooorrr the the one I'm leaning towards: warn Bo the killer that he's going to die if he tries to capture and kill Carly and Wade and their friends. But if I do this, I'll save everyone's life as well. That has to be the correct path the voice had referred to! So I keep running.

I can barely breathe when I finally reach the church. I have to time this perfectly. I look back and see that I'm not being followed. Thank goodness. I open the door and Bo turns around, just like in the movie.I rush over to him.

"Bo! You gotta listen to- hey, stop! I'm trying to help you!" I say, struggling as he grasps my arms rather roughly.

" Don't know how Ya know my name, but Ya shouldn't be here." He says in a cold voice, half carrying, half pushing me towards the door. I try to get away from his grasp to no avail.

"I know they're dead!" I blurt out, and that makes him stop abruptly.

"What? How? Who the hell are Ya?" He Demands, turning me so that I'm facing him, but refusing to let go of my shoulders.

"I'm the dumbass tryna save your life instead of worrying about my own, that's who." I sass.

"What the hell are ya talkin' about?" He asks, finally releasing me. We turn our heads when we hear faint voices outside the door. My eyes widen again.

"Let's Get rid of them, first. I'll explain everything later, I promise." I whisper and promptly place myself where Bo had been previously and begin to dramatically cry.

"Oh Trudy, you were such a sweet gentle lady! Why did you have to go?" I pretend to sob as the door opens.

"Oh, maybe we should go." Carly says apologetically Wade mouths "sorry" when I turn to look at them and They leave. Bo had been standing next to the door. He had a poker face on, but I knew he was utterly confused. I walk over to him again. I motion with my head for him to follow me. I walk out of the church, and see the two teens waiting.

"Sorry about walking in, we didn't know." Wade says.

"It's o-" I start to say but Bo interrupts me.

"Shouldn't have walked in." He grumbles. I glare at him and shake my head. I love the guy, but he really is a jerk. But then again wade and Carly were mean to lester, so guess it's even now. He walks a bit away from us and lights up a cigarette.

Yeah I know, it's just that We Have car trouble and we're not from this town." Wade explains

"Yeah we're looking for a guy named Bo, he works at the gas station." Carly adds.

"Found him." Bo mutters.

"Really? Well we need a fan belt, we were camping up the road-"

"A fan belt, you walk in on a funeral for a fu**in fan belt?" Bo interrupts Wade next.

I sigh, Bo could at least be more gracious about this, it ain't their fault. My bet is on Carly's douchebag brother or maybe even Vincent who broke the fan belt. I'm gonna have to ask Bo about it later on, maybe.

"Well let me just go dump the casket in the ground and I'll be right there." Bo says sarcastically and heads back inside.

"Sorry." Carly apologizes once more as Bo walks by her.

"Yeah." He rolls his eyes and goes through the door. She and Wade look back at me.

"That's twice today, I'm an a-hole." Wade says guiltily.

"Please,Don't take it personally, It's been a rough week.I sigh, pretending to dab at my eye.

Bo comes out again at that moment, and stands next to me.

"Hey I'm sorry. Someone real close to us just passed and I didn't mean to take it out you." He explains. I'm glad he's playing along and said 'us' instead of 'me'.

"No no no, it's totally understandable." Carly says.

"I reckon things will probably wrap up soon, why don't we meet Ya at the gas station in about a half?" I suggest, trying not to smirk at the fact that I stole Bo's line. He glances at me, and I know he was wondering how I knew exactly what he was about to say, word for word.

"That'd be great if that's okay?" Carly smiles at us.

"Yeah." Bo and I say and nod at the same time. I wave to Wade and Carly and the four of us split up. I follow Bo back into the church.

He turns around to face and looks at me expectantly. I can't help the tears that form in my eyes. I know he's not real, but I love him. SO much. I don't care if it's weird, but I do. Flashes of his brutal death play in my mind and the tears flow endlessly. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his shirt.

"You're alive, you're okay, you're still here." I sob into his chest, bawling my eyes out.

"Hey, why are you crying?" He asks, his voice almost sounded as if was actually concerned. He does hold me for a while until I calm down, though.

"Okay, explain yourself." He says, after I let go of him, his expression suspicious.

"Well?" He raises an eyebrow.

"I-I D-don't know If I should tell you...you'd think I'm off my rocker." I tell him. He sighs.

"No offense, but I already think that, after the way you just barged in here, and the fact that you literally Said what I was thinkin' about 'fore I said it back there. So there ain't no need to worry 'bout me." He says.

Crap, he has a point...I sigh in defeat. It's only a dream so I don't see any harm.

"Okay, here it goes...My name is Katerina Bythesea. I'm 26,and... this is going to sound EXTREMELY insane, but I'm...from the future. And also where I'm from, you're a fictional character in a movie called house of wax. I was watching it and suddenly I was transported here. I ran to the church because I Knew you were here and I wanted to warn you before Carly and Wade got to you first."

"Those two kids we just talked to? Why?"

"Cause...cause If you go after them,it leads to your and Vincent's ultimate demise." I reply.

"Okay look, let's say that I believe ya. Why on earth would you want to keep me from dying? And why do you care so much about me and my brother? If apparently,You already know what we are." He says looking around the room.

"Guess I'm tryna play the hero and save everyone's behind. If I save them, then I can save you and Vince. Nobody has to die for no reason." Besides that, I have a major crush on you. I mentally add.

"It's just…It's not right, don't get me wrong, it's quite flattering,kid, but people like me and my brothers...we don't deserve to be loved or saved. We're too far gone, nothing we do can ever fix what we've done." He says, remorse thick in his gruff voice.

I bite my lip, what can I say? He's right and we both know it. It's not his fault I have a habit of always seeing the good in people. Nor is it his fault Ive got a thing for slashers.

"I know but-" I begin, but he interrupts me with a shake of his head.

"No, don't. Nothin' ya can say is gonna change the truth." He sighs sadly. He looks like he wants to pat my shoulder but he pulls his hand back and folds his arms across his chest.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'd rather you get back home, and forget about all this. I don't want you to get caught up in this mess." He tells me I shake my head.

"No! You can't die! I won't let it happen! Not if I can do something about it!" I argue. He glares at me and scoffs.

"Look, little Girl, You're obviously confused about where your alliances should be...don't suppose ya agree to my daily job,do ya now?"

"Not at all, but-"

"xactly what I thought." He Shakes his head, and starts to pace, thinking.

"If whatcha tellin me is true, then I suppose getting you back home isn't gonna be easy." He says, holding his chin between His fingers.

"You're gonna go after them anyways?? Even after what I told you??" I ask in disbelief.

"I told ya, Katerina Bythesea, We ain't Worth tryna save. And what are we supposed ta do, just let them go and maybe expose the fact that this town exists? Get the police to raid the damn place and lock us up, huh?" Bo glares at me.

I reach out unthinkingly and grab his hand,making him stop walking. He looks at my hand and then at me.

"Sorry, I know I'm too touchy feely, but it's how I am. Listen To me, Bo Sinclair. You don't have to do any of this. Yes you've murdered people. And yes that's unforgivable. But Only God can be the true judge of that,and as I recall, the bible has some very famous stories about redemption." I tell him. His eyes search mine and then he grabs my face gently in his hands.

"You shouldn't have come here." He says, just like before, Only I catch a glimpse of emotion for the first time in his eyes before they harden into pools of ice.The next thing I know, He steps back and the last thing I see is his fist lunging towards me…

[im-just-trying-to-get-bi]

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1 Think it's in there? MAN2 All right. Let's get it! MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MEN No! SHREK They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAY There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARD All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARD Next! GUARD (taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARD That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARD Get up! Come on! HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR (crying) This cage is too small. DONKEY Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMAN Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEY Oh! HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? GIPETTO This little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIO I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARD Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIO Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? OLD WOMAN Well, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARD Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMAN Oh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARD Well? OLD WOMAN Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARD That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMAN No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARD Get her out of my sight. OLD WOMAN No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly. DONKEY Hey! I can fly! PETER PAN He can fly! 3 LITTLE PIGS He can fly! HEAD GUARD He can talk! DONKEY Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.) He hits the ground with a thud. HEAD GUARD Seize him! (Donkey

takes of running.) After him! GUARDS He's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn! Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek. HEAD GUARD You there. Ogre! SHREK Aye? HEAD GUARD By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility. SHREK Oh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage. DONKEY Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! SHREK Are you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa! DONKEY Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. SHREK Oh, that's great. Really. DONKEY Man, it's good to be free. SHREK Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? DONKEY But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly. DONKEY Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day. SHREK Why are you following me? DONKEY I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have faith... SHREK Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. DONKEY Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. SHREK Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? DONKEY (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really tall? SHREK No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? DONKEY Nope. SHREK Really? DONKEY Really, really. SHREK Oh. DONKEY Man, I like you. What's you name? SHREK Uh, Shrek. DONKEY Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.) Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? SHREK That would be my home. DONKEY Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess you don't entertain much, do you? SHREK I like my privacy. DONKEY You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can I stay wit' you? SHREK Uh, what? DONKEY Can I stay wit' you, please? SHREK (sarcastically) Of course! DONKEY Really? SHREK No. DONKEY Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. (pause while he looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! SHREK Okay! Okay! But one night only. DONKEY Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage) SHREK What are you...?

(Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No! No! DONKEY This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. SHREK Oh! DONKEY Where do, uh, I sleep? SHREK (irritated) Outside! DONKEY Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me... SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a noise. He stands up with a huff. SHREK (to Donkey) I thought I told you to stay outside. DONKEY (from the window) I am outside. There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns and spots 3 blind mice on his table. BLIND MOUSE1 Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? BLIND MOUSE2 It's not home, but it'll do just fine. GORDO (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed. SHREK Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes and lands on his shoulder.) GORDO I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's ear) SHREK Ow! GORDO Blah! Awful stuff. BLIND MOUSE1 Is that you, Gordo? GORDO How did you know? SHREK Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are you doing in my house? (He gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.) Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table. DWARF Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. SHREK Huh? Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain. The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at him. BIG BAD WOLF What? TIME LAPSE Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door. SHREK I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do get a little privacy? (He opens the front door to throw the Wolf out and he sees that all the collected Fairy Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh, no. No! No! The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc. SHREK What are you doing in my swamp? (this echoes and everyone falls silent.) Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a tent. SHREK All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more dwarves run inside the house) No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. (they shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to look at Donkey) DONKEY Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. PINOCCHIO Oh, gosh, no one invited us. SHREK What? PINOCCHIO We were forced to come here. SHREK (flabbergasted) By who? LITTLE PIG Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed and he...signed an eviction notice. SHREK (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers. DONKEY Oh, I do. I know where he is. SHREK Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all? DONKEY Me! Me! SHREK Anyone? DONKEY Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! SHREK (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! (Pause. Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey) You! You're comin' with me. DONKEY All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! DONKEY (singing) On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get on the road again. SHREK What did I say about singing? DONKEY Can I whistle? SHREK No. DONKEY Can I hum it? SHREK All right, hum it. Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'. DULOC - KITCHEN A

masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in. FARQUAAD That's enough. He's ready to talk. The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered. FARQUAAD (he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs and plays with them) Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. GINGERBREAD MAN You are a monster. FARQUAAD I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? GINGERBREAD MAN Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's eye.) FARQUAAD I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons) GINGERBREAD MAN No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. FARQUAAD All right then. Who's hiding them? GINGERBREAD MAN Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? FARQUAAD The muffin man? GINGERBREAD MAN The muffin man. FARQUAAD Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? GINGERBREAD MAN Well, she's married to the muffin man. FARQUAAD The muffin man? GINGERBREAD MAN The muffin man! FARQUAAD She's married to the muffin man. The door opens and the Head Guard walks in. HEAD GUARD My lord! We found it. FARQUAAD Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet. They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic Mirror. GINGERBREAD MAN (in awe) Ohhhh... FARQUAAD Magic mirror... GINGERBREAD MAN Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks him up and dumps him into a trash can with a lid.) No! FARQUAAD Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? MIRROR Well, technically you're not a king. FARQUAAD Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a hand mirror and smashes it with his fist.) You were saying? MIRROR What I mean is you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. FARQUAAD Go on. MIRROR (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. (shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows picture of Snow White) And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows picture of Princess Fiona) So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? GUARDS Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three! FARQUAAD Three? One? Three? THELONIUS Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number three, my lord! FARQUAAD Okay, okay, uh, number three! MIRROR Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. FARQUAAD Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go... MIRROR But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. FARQUAAD I'll do it. MIRROR Yes, but after sunset... FARQUAAD Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament. (smiles evilly) DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking lot. The castle itself is about 40

stories high. DONKEY But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it. SHREK So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. DONKEY Uh-huh. That's the place. SHREK Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? (He laughs, but then groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke. He continues walking through the parking lot.) DONKEY Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. MAN Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. SHREK Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad, screams and begins running through the rows of rope to get to the front gate to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - - (He sighs and then begins walking straight through the rows. The attendant runs into a wall and falls down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then continue on into DuLoc.) DULOC They look around but all is quiet. SHREK It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? DONKEY Hey, look at this! Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin to sing. WOODEN PEOPLE Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don't make waves, stay in line And we'll get along fine DuLoc is perfect place Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face DuLoc is, DuLoc is DuLoc is perfect place. Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture. DONKEY Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready to run over and pull the lever again) SHREK (grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still) No. No. No, no, no! No. They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena. FARQUAAD Brave knights. You are the best and brightest in all the land. Today one of you shall prove himself... As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song. SHREK All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. DONKEY Sorry about that. FARQUAAD That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. (cheers) Let the tournament begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is that? It's hideous! SHREK (turns to look at Donkey and then back at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. FARQUAAD Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have it him! MEN Get him! SHREK Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (bumps into a table where there are mugs of beer) CROWD Go ahead! Get him! SHREK (holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just settle this over a pint? CROWD Kill the beast! SHREK No? All right then. (drinks the beer) Come on! He takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel of beer behind him. The beer comes rushing out drenching the other men and wetting the ground. It's like mud now. Shrek slides past the men and picks up a spear that one of the men dropped. As Shrek begins to fight Donkey hops up onto one of the larger beer barrels. It breaks free of it's ropes and begins to roll. Donkey manages to squish two men into the mud. There is so much fighting going on here I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice to say that Shrek kicks butt. DONKEY Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! Shrek comes over and bangs a man's head up against Donkeys. Shrek gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd. SHREK Yeah! A man tries to sneak up behind Shrek, but Shrek turns in time and sees him. WOMAN The chair! Give him the chair! Shrek smashes a chair over the guys back. Finally all the men are down. Donkey kicks one of them in the helmet, and the ding sounds the end of the match. The audience goes wild. SHREK Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs) The laughter stops as all of the guards turn their weapons on Shrek. HEAD GUARD Shall I give

the order, sir? FARQUAAD No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! SHREK What? FARQUAAD Congratulations, ogre. You're won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. SHREK Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. FARQUAAD Your swamp? SHREK Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures! FARQUAAD Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. SHREK Exactly the way it was? FARQUAAD Down to the last slime-covered toadstool. SHREK And the squatters? FARQUAAD As good as gone. SHREK What kind of quest? Time Lapse - Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion. DONKEY Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right? SHREK You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. DONKEY I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. SHREK Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? DONKEY Uh, no, not really, no. SHREK For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. DONKEY Example? SHREK Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions. (he holds out his onion) DONKEY (sniffs the onion) They stink? SHREK Yes - - No! DONKEY They make you cry? SHREK No! DONKEY You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs. SHREK No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. (he heaves a sigh and then walks off) DONKEY (trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. SHREK I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. DONKEY You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious. SHREK No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later. DONKEY Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. SHREK You know, I think I preferred your humming. DONKEY Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobbering. They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek trying to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem, so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out. DRAGON'S KEEP Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to house Princess Fiona. It appears to look like a giant volcano. DONKEY (sniffs) Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything. SHREK Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We must be getting close. DONKEY Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither. They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There is a small piece of rock right in the center and that is where the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very foreboding. SHREK Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. (laughs...then the laugh turns into a groan) DONKEY Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said ogres have layers? SHREK Oh, aye. DONKEY Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. SHREK Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. DONKEY You know what I mean. SHREK You can't tell

me you're afraid of heights. DONKEY No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling like of lava! SHREK Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. DONKEY Really? SHREK Really, really. DONKEY Okay, that makes me feel so much better. SHREK Just keep moving. And don't look down. DONKEY Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. (he steps through a rotting board and ends up looking straight down into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! SHREK But you're already halfway. DONKEY But I know that half is safe! SHREK Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. DONKEY Shrek, no! Wait! SHREK Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me? (bounces and sways the bridge) DONKEY Don't do that! SHREK Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? (bounces the bridge again) DONKEY Yes, that! SHREK Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. (continues to bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across the bridge) DONKEY No, Shrek! No! Stop it! SHREK You said do it! I'm doin' it. DONKEY I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. (steps onto solid ground) Oh! SHREK That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. (walks towards the castle) DONKEY Cool. So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? SHREK Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. (chuckles) DONKEY I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek. INSIDE THE CASTLE DONKEY You afraid? SHREK No. DONKEY But... SHREK Shh. DONKEY Oh, good. Me neither. (sees a skeleton and gasps) 'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that. SHREK Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. DONKEY Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess. SHREK (putting on a helmet) The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. DONKEY What makes you think she'll be there? SHREK I read it in a book once. (walks off) DONKEY Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. (walks off) EMPTY ROOM Donkey is still talking to himself as he looks around the room. DONKEY I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. ELSEWHERE Shrek spots a light in the tallest tower window. SHREK Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the... DONKEY (os) Dragon! Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars again. Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon breathes fire. SHREK Donkey, look out! (he manages to get a hold of the dragons tail and holds on) Got ya! The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Shrek goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the tallest tower. Fiona wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying on the floor. DONKEY Oh! Aah! Aah! Donkey get cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small part of the bridge he's on. DONKEY No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon roars) Oh, what large teeth you have. (the dragon growls) I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. (the dragon begins fluttering her eyes at him) What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh...(the dragon blows a smoke ring in the shape of

a heart right at him, and he coughs) I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. Shrek! (the dragon picks him up with her teeth and carries him off) No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! FIONA'S ROOM Shrek groans as he gets up off the floor. His back is to Fiona so she straightens her dress and lays back down on the bed. She then quickly reaches over and gets the bouquet of flowers off the side table. She then lays back down and appears to be asleep. Shrek turns and goes over to her. He looks down at Fiona for a moment and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders and shakes her away. FIONA Oh! Oh! SHREK Wake up! FIONA What? SHREK Are you Princess Fiona? FIONA I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. SHREK Oh, that's nice. Now let's go! FIONA But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? SHREK Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. FIONA Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. SHREK You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? FIONA (smiles) Mm-hmm. Shrek breaks the lock on her door and pulls her out and down the hallway. FIONA But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something! SHREK I don't think so. FIONA Can I at least know the name of my champion? SHREK Uh, Shrek. FIONA Sir Shrek. (clears throat and holds out a handkerchief) I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. SHREK Thanks! Suddenly they hear the dragon roar. FIONA (surprised)You didn't slay the dragon? SHREK It's on my to-do list. Now come on! (takes off running and drags Fiona behind him.) FIONA But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did. SHREK Yeah, right before they burst into flame. FIONA That's not the point. (Shrek suddenly stops and she runs into him.) Oh! (Shrek ignores her and heads for a wooden door off to the side.) Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there. SHREK Well, I have to save my ass. FIONA What kind of knight are you? SHREK One of a kind. (opens the door into the throne room) DONKEY (os) Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just call me old-fashioned. (laughs worriedly) (we see him up close and from a distance as Shrek sneaks into the room) I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - - Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh! Shrek grabs a chain that's connected to the chandelier and swings toward the dragon. He misses and he swings back again. He looks up and spots that the chandelier is right above the dragons head. He pulls on the chain and it releases and he falls down and bumps Donkey out of the way right as the dragon is about to kiss him. Instead the dragon kisses Shreks' butt. She opens her eyes and roars. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto her head, but it's too big and it goes over her head and forms a sort of collar for her. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey take off running. Very 'Matrix' style. Shrek grabs Donkey and then grabs Princess Fiona as he runs past her. DONKEY Hi, Princess! FIONA It talks! SHREK Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. They all start screaming as the dragon gains on them. Shrek spots a descending slide and jumps on. But unfortunately there is a crack in the stone and it

hits Shrek right in the groin. His eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide he stumbles off and walks lightly. SHREK Oh! Shrek gets them close to the exit and sets down Donkey and Fiona. SHREK Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon. Shrek grabs a sword and heads back toward the interior of the castle. He throws the sword down in between several overlapping chain links. The chain links are attached to the chandelier that is still around the dragons neck. SHREK (echoing) Run! They all take off running for the exit with the dragon in hot pursuit. They make it to the bridge and head across. The dragons breathes fire and the bridge begins to burn. They all hang on for dear life as the ropes holding the bridge up collapse. They are swung to the other side. As they hang upside down they look in horror as the dragon makes to fly over the boiling lava to get them. But suddenly the chandelier with the chain jerk the dragon back and she's unable to get to them. Our gang climbs quickly to safety as the dragon looks angry and then gives a sad whimper as she watches Donkey walk away. FIONA (sliding down the 'volcano' hill) You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. (behind her Donkey falls down the hill) You're - - You're wonderful. You're... (turns and sees Shrek fall down the hill and bump into Donkey) a little unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thy heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt. (Donkey clears his throat.) And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? DONKEY I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. FIONA The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. SHREK Uh, no. FIONA Why not? SHREK I have helmet hair. FIONA Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. SHREK No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st. FIONA But how will you kiss me? SHREK What? (to Donkey) That wasn't in the job description. DONKEY Maybe it's a perk. FIONA No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. DONKEY Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you true love? FIONA Well, yes. Both Donkey and Shrek burst out laughing. DONKEY You think Shrek is your true love! FIONA What is so funny? SHREK Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?Fiona: Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your helmet. SHREK Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. FIONA Just take off the helmet. SHREK I'm not going to. FIONA Take it off. SHREK No! FIONA Now! SHREK Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness. (takes off his helmet) FIONA You- - You're a- - an ogre. SHREK Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. FIONA Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an ogre. SHREK Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you. FIONA Then why didn't he come rescue me? SHREK Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. FIONA But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his- - his pet. DONKEY Well, so much for noble steed. SHREK You're not making my job any easier. FIONA I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. SHREK Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? (ominous) I'm a delivery boy. (he swiftly picks her up and swings her over his shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes) FIONA You wouldn't dare. Put me down! SHREK Ya comin', Donkey? DONKEY I'm right behind ya. FIONA Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! WOODS A little time has passed and Fiona has calmed down. She just hangs there limply while Shrek carries her. DONKEY Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?

FIONA You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knows what happens when you find your...(Shrek drops her on the ground) Hey! The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. DONKEY You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! FIONA And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? SHREK Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. (he and Donkey laugh) Shrek then proceeds to splash water onto his face to wash off the dust and grime. DONKEY I don't know. There are those who think little of him. (they laugh again) Fiona: Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. SHREK Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow. FIONA (looks at the setting sun) Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp? SHREK No, that'll take longer. We can keep going. FIONA But there's robbers in the woods. DONKEY Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is starting to sound good. SHREK Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. FIONA I need to find somewhere to camp now! Both Donkey and Shrek's ears lower as they shrink away from her. MOUNTAIN CLIFF Shrek has found a cave that appears to be in good order. He shoves a stone boulder out of the way to reveal the cave. SHREK Hey! Over here. DONKEY Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a princess. FIONA No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. SHREK Homey touches? Like what? (he hears a tearing noise and looks over at Fiona who has torn the bark off of a tree.) FIONA A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. (goes into the cave and puts the bark door up behind her) DONKEY You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. FIONA (os) I said good night! Shrek looks at Donkey for a second and then goes to move the boulder back in front of the entrance to the cave with Fiona still inside. DONKEY Shrek, What are you doing? SHREK (laughs) I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding. LATER THAT NIGHT Shrek and Donkey are sitting around a campfire. They are staring up into the sky as Shrek points out certain star constellations to Donkey. SHREK And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. DONKEY Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? SHREK The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for. DONKEY I know you're making this up. SHREK No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. DONKEY That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots. SHREK You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it. DONKEY (heaves a big sigh) Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? SHREK Our swamp? DONKEY You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. SHREK We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. DONKEY You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. SHREK No, do ya think? DONKEY Are you hidin' something? SHREK Never mind, Donkey. DONKEY Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? SHREK No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things. DONKEY Why don't you want to talk about it? SHREK Why do you want to talk about it? DONKEY Why are you blocking? SHREK I'm not blocking. DONKEY Oh, yes, you are. SHREK Donkey, I'm warning you. DONKEY Who you trying to keep out? SHREK Everyone! Okay? DONKEY (pause) Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere. (grins) At this point Fiona pulls the 'door' away from the entrance to the cave and peaks out. Neither of the guys see her. SHREK Oh! For the love of Pete! (gets up and walks over to the edge of the cliff and sits down) DONKEY What's your problem? What you got against the whole world

anyway? SHREK Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go. "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre!" They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. DONKEY You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. SHREK Yeah, I know. DONKEY So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? SHREK Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying. DONKEY Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there? Fiona puts the door back. SHREK That's the moon. DONKEY Oh, okay. DuLoc - Farquaad's Bedroom The camera pans over a lot of wedding stuff. Soft music plays in the background. Farquaad is in bed, watching as the Magic Mirror shows him Princess Fiona. FARQUAAD Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. MIRROR Hmph. The Mirror rewinds and begins to play again from the beginning. FARQUAAD Ah. Perfect. Farquaad looks down at his bare chest and pulls the sheet up to cover himself as though Fiona could see him as he gazes sheepishly at her image in the mirror. MORNING Fiona walks out of the cave. She glances at Shrek and Donkey who are still sleeping. She wanders off into the woods and comes across a blue bird. She begins to sing. The bird sings along with her. She hits higher and higher notes and the bird struggles to keep up with her. Suddenly the pressure of the note is too big and the bird explodes. Fiona looks a little sheepish, but she eyes the eggs that the bird left behind. Time lapse, Fiona is now cooking the eggs for breakfast. Shrek and Donkey are still sleeping. Shrek wakes up and looks at Fiona. Donkey's talking in his sleep. DONKEY (quietly) Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that. Come on, baby. I said I like it. SHREK Donkey, wake up. (shakes him) DONKEY Huh? What? SHREK Wake up. DONKEY What? (stretches and yawns) FIONA Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs? DONKEY Oh, good morning, Princess! Fiona gets up and sets the eggs down in front of them. SHREK What's all this about? FIONA You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. SHREK Uh, thanks. Donkey sniffs the eggs and licks his lips. FIONA Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. (walks off) LATER They are once again on their way. They are walking through the forest. Shrek belches. DONKEY Shrek! SHREK What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. (laughs) DONKEY Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. Fiona belches FIONA Thanks. DONKEY She's as nasty as you are. SHREK (chuckles) You know, you're not exactly what I expected. FIONA Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. She smiles and then continues walking, singing softly. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a man swings down and swoops Fiona up into a tree. ROBIN HOOD La liberte! Hey! SHREK Princess! FIONA (to Robin Hood) What are you doing? ROBIN HOOD Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from this green...(kisses up her arm while Fiona pulls back in disgust)...beast. SHREK Hey! That's my princess! Go find you own! ROBIN HOOD Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here? FIONA (getting fed up) Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are! ROBIN HOOD Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduce myself. Oh, Merry Men. (laughs) Suddenly an accordion begins to play and the Merry men pop out from the bushes. They begin to sing Robin's theme song. MERRY MEN Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo. ROBIN HOOD I steal from the rich and give to the needy. MERRY MEN He takes a wee percentage, ROBIN HOOD But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels, man, I'm good. MERRY MEN What a guy, Monsieur Hood. ROBIN HOOD Break it down. I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid... MERRY MEN What he's basically saying is he likes to get... ROBIN HOOD Paid. So...When an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush. That's bad. MERRY MEN That's bad. ROBIN HOOD When a beauty's with a beast

it makes me awfully mad. MERRY MEN He's mad, he's really, really mad. ROBIN HOOD I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart, keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start... There is a grunt as Fiona swings down from the tree limb and knocks Robin Hood unconscious. FIONA Man, that was annoying! Shrek looks at her in admiration. MERRY MAN Oh, you little- - (shoots an arrow at Fiona but she ducks out of the way) The arrow flies toward Donkey who jumps into Shrek's arms to get out of the way. The arrow proceeds to just bounce off a tree. Another fight sequence begins and Fiona gives a karate yell and then proceeds to beat the crap out of the Merry Men. There is a very interesting 'Matrix' moment here when Fiona pauses in mid-air to fix her hair. Finally all of the Merry Men are down, and Fiona begins walking away. FIONA Uh, shall we? SHREK Hold the phone. (drops Donkey and begins walking after Fiona) Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from? FIONA What? SHREK That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that? FIONA Well...(laughs) when one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a...(gasps and points) there's an arrow in your butt! SHREK What? (turns and looks) Oh, would you look at that? (he goes to pull it out but flinches because it's tender) FIONA Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. DONKEY (walking up) Why? What's wrong? FIONA Shrek's hurt. DONKEY Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die. SHREK Donkey, I'm okay. DONKEY You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the Heimlich? FIONA Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. DONKEY Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! SHREK & FIONA Donkey! DONKEY Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. (runs off) SHREK What are the flowers for? FIONA (like it's obvious) For getting rid of Donkey. SHREK Ah. FIONA Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. (gives the arrow a little pull) SHREK (jumps away) Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'. As they continue to talk Fiona keeps going after the arrow and Shrek keeps dodging her hands. FIONA I'm sorry, but it has to come out. SHREK No, it's tender. FIONA Now, hold on. SHREK What you're doing is the opposite of help. FIONA Don't move. SHREK Look, time out. FIONA Would you...(grunts as Shrek puts his hand over her face to stop her from getting at the arrow) Okay. What do you propose we do? ELSEWHERE Donkey is still looking for the special flower. DONKEY Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns. SHREK (os) Ow! DONKEY Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! (rips a flower off a nearby bush that just happens to be a blue flower with red thorns) THE FOREST PATH SHREK Ow! Not good. FIONA Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. (Shrek grunts as she pulls) It's just about... SHREK Ow! Ohh! (he jerks and manages to fall over with Fiona on top of him) DONKEY Ahem. SHREK (throwing Fiona off of him) Nothing happend. We were just, uh - - DONKEY Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay? SHREK Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just- - (Fiona pulls the arrow out) Ugh! (he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile) Ow! DONKEY Hey, what's that? (nervous chuckle) That's...is that blood? Donkey faints. Shrek walks over and picks him up as they continue on their way. There is a montage of scenes as the group heads back to DuLoc. Shrek crawling up to the top of a tree to make it fall over a small brook so that Fiona won't get wet. Shrek then gets up as Donkey is just about to cross the tree and the tree swings back into it's upright position and Donkey flies off. Shrek swatting and a bunch of flies and mosquitoes. Fiona grabs a nearby spiderweb that's on a

tree branch and runs through the field swinging it around to catch the bugs. She then hands it to Shrek who begins eating like it's a treat. As he walks off she licks her fingers. Shrek catching a toad and blowing it up like a balloon and presenting it to Fiona. Fiona catching a snake, blowing it up, fashioning it into a balloon animal and presenting it to Shrek. The group arriving at a windmill that is near DuLoc. WINDMILL SHREK There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you. FIONA That's DuLoc? DONKEY Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really...(Shrek steps on his hoof) Ow! SHREK Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on. FIONA Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey. SHREK What? FIONA I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good. DONKEY What are you talking about? I'm fine. FIONA (kneels to look him in the eyes) That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. (pause) Dead. SHREK You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down? FIONA Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea. DONKEY I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look, (turns his neck in a very sharp way until his head is completely sideways) Ow! See? SHREK Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner. FIONA I'll get the firewood. DONKEY Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! (looks down and yelps) I don't have any toes! I think I need a hug. SUNSET Shrek has built a fire and is cooking the rest of dinner while Fiona eats. FIONA Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this? SHREK Uh, weed rat. Rotisserie style. FIONA No kidding. Well, this is delicious. SHREK Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew. (chuckles) Fiona looks at DuLoc and sighs. FIONA I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. SHREK Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it. FIONA (smiles) I'd like that. They smiles at each other. SHREK Um, Princess? FIONA Yes, Shrek? SHREK I, um, I was wondering...are you...(sighs) Are you gonna eat that? DONKEY (chuckles) Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset. FIONA (jumps up) Sunset? Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late. SHREK What? DONKEY Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? FIONA Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside. DONKEY Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until - - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. Shrek sighs FIONA Good night. SHREK Good night. Fiona goes inside the windmill and closes the door. Donkey looks at Shrek with a new eye. DONKEY Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here. SHREK Oh, what are you talkin' about? DONKEY I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it. SHREK You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. DONKEY Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel. SHREK I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a princess, and I'm - - DONKEY An ogre? SHREK Yeah. An ogre. DONKEY Hey, where you goin'? SHREK To get... move firewood. (sighs) Donkey looks over at the large pile of firewood there already is. TIME LAPSE Donkey opens the door to the Windmill and walks in. Fiona is nowhere to be seen. DONKEY Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? Fiona looks at Donkey from the shadows, but we can't see her. DONKEY It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games. Suddenly Fiona falls from the railing. She gets up only she doesn't look like herself. She looks like an ogre and Donkey starts freaking out. DONKEY Aah! FIONA Oh, no! DONKEY No, help! FIONA Shh! DONKEY Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! FIONA No, it's

okay. It's okay. DONKEY What did you do with the princess? FIONA Donkey, I'm the princess. DONKEY Aah! FIONA It's me, in this body. DONKEY Oh, my God! You ate the princess. (to her stomach) Can you hear me? FIONA Donkey! DONKEY (still aimed at her stomach) Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there! FIONA No! DONKEY Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! FIONA Shh. DONKEY Shrek! FIONA This is me. Donkey looks into her eyes as she pets his muzzle, and he quiets down. DONKEY Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different. FIONA I'm ugly, okay? DONKEY Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - - FIONA No. I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember. DONKEY What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before. FIONA It only happens when sun goes down. "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form." DONKEY Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. FIONA It's a spell. (sigh) When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this. (begins to cry) DONKEY All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. FIONA But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. DONKEY Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? FIONA I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. DONKEY But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you got a lot in common. FIONA Shrek? OUTSIDE Shrek is walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his hand. SHREK (to himself) Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh...(sighs) I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. He walks up to the door and pauses outside when he hears Donkey and Fiona talking. FIONA (os) I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. Shrek steps back in shock. FIONA (os) My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Shrek heaves a deep sigh. He throws the flower down and walks away. INSIDE FIONA Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. DONKEY You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. FIONA No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. DONKEY What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? FIONA Promise you won't tell. Promise! DONKEY All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. (goes outside) I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'. Fiona comes out the door and watches him walk away. She looks down and spots the sunflower. She picks it up before going back inside the windmill. MORNING Donkey is asleep. Shrek is nowhere to be seen. Fiona is still awake. She is plucking petals from the sunflower. FIONA I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. (she quickly runs to the door and goes outside) Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want...(she looks and sees the rising sun, and as the sun crests the sky she turns back into a human.) Just as she looks back at the sun she sees Shrek stomping towards her. FIONA Shrek. Are you all right? SHREK Perfect! Never been better. FIONA I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you. SHREK You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last night. FIONA You heard what I

said? SHREK Every word. FIONA I thought you'd understand. SHREK Oh, I understand. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?" FIONA But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. SHREK Yeah? Well, it does. (Fiona looks at him in shock. He looks past her and spots a group approaching.) Ah, right on time. Princess, I've brought you a little something. Farquaad has arrived with a group of his men. He looks very regal sitting up on his horse. You would never guess that he's only like 3 feet tall. Donkey wakes up with a yawn as the soldiers march by. DONKEY What'd I miss? What'd I miss? (spots the soldiers) (muffled) Who said that? Couldn't have been the donkey. FARQUAAD Princess Fiona. SHREK As promised. Now hand it over. FARQUAAD Very well, ogre. (holds out a piece of paper) The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. Take it and go before I change my mind. (Shrek takes the paper) Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad. FIONA Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. (Farquaad snaps his fingers) Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... (Watches as Farquaad is lifted off his horse and set down in front of her. He comes to her waist.) farewell. FARQUAAD Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. It's not like it has feelings. FIONA No, you're right. It doesn't. Donkey watches this exchange with a curious look on his face. FARQUAAD Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona. I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? FIONA Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - - FARQUAAD (interrupting) Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed! FIONA No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets. FARQUAAD Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests! (a guard puts Fiona on the back of his horse) FIONA Fare-thee-well, ogre. Farquaad's whole party begins to head back to DuLoc. Donkey watches them go. DONKEY Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away. SHREK Yeah? So what? DONKEY Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night, She's - - SHREK I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? DONKEY Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you. SHREK I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! DONKEY But I thought - - SHREK Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong! (stomps off) DONKEY Shrek. Montage of different scenes. Shrek arriving back home. Fiona being fitted for the wedding dress. Donkey at a stream running into the dragon. Shrek cleaning up his house. Fiona eating dinner alone. Shrek eating dinner alone. SHREK'S HOME Shrek is eating dinner when he hears a sound outside. He goes outside to investigate. SHREK Donkey? (Donkey ignores him and continues with what he's doing.) What are you doing? DONKEY I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. SHREK Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. DONKEY It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half. SHREK Oh! Your half. Hmm. DONKEY Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. SHREK Back off! DONKEY No, you back off. SHREK This is my swamp! DONKEY Our swamp. SHREK (grabs the tree branch Donkey is working with) Let go, Donkey! DONKEY You let go. SHREK Stubborn jackass! DONKEY Smelly ogre. SHREK Fine! (drops the tree branch and walks away) DONKEY Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet. SHREK Well, I'm through with you. DONKEY Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So

you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. SHREK Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? DONKEY Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other! SHREK Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in the back! (goes into the outhouse and slams the door) DONKEY Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings. SHREK (os) Go away! DONKEY There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you. SHREK (os) Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking. DONKEY She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else. SHREK (opens the door and comes out) She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about? DONKEY Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. Right? Right? SHREK Donkey! DONKEY No! SHREK Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right? (sigh) I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. Can you forgive me? DONKEY Hey, that's what friends are for, right? SHREK Right. Friends? DONKEY Friends. SHREK So, um, what did Fiona say about me? DONKEY What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her? SHREK The wedding! We'll never make it in time. DONKEY Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. (whistles) Suddenly the dragon arrives overhead and flies low enough so they can climb on. SHREK Donkey? DONKEY I guess it's just my animal magnetism. They both laugh. SHREK Aw, come here, you. (gives Donkey a noogie) DONKEY All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet. They climb aboard the dragon and she takes off for DuLoc. DULOC - CHURCH Fiona and Farquaad are getting married. The whole town is there. The prompter card guy holds up a card that says 'Revered Silence'. PRIEST People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union.... FIONA (eyeing the setting sun) Um- PRIEST ...of our new king... FIONA Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"? FARQUAAD (chuckles and then motions to the priest to indulge Fiona) Go on. COURTYARD Some guards are milling around. Suddenly the dragon lands with a boom. The guards all take off running. DONKEY (to Dragon) Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? (she nods and goes after the guards) Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't you? SHREK (at the Church door) What are you talking about? DONKEY There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!" SHREK I don't have time for this! DONKEY Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you? SHREK Yes. DONKEY You wanna hold her? SHREK Yes. DONKEY Please her? SHREK Yes! DONKEY (singing James Brown style) Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. (normal) The chicks love that romantic crap! SHREK All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? DONKEY We gotta check it out. INSIDE CHURCH As the priest talks we see Donkey's shadow through one of the windows Shrek tosses him up so he can see. PRIEST And so, by the power vested in me... Outside SHREK What do you see? DONKEY The whole town's in there. Inside PRIEST I now pronounce you husband and wife... Outside DONKEY They're at the altar. Inside PRIEST ...king and queen. Outside DONKEY Mother Fletcher! He already said it. SHREK Oh, for the love of Pete! He runs inside without catching Donkey, who hits the ground hard. INSIDE CHURCH SHREK (running toward the alter) I object! FIONA Shrek? The whole congregation gasps as they see Shrek. FARQUAAD Oh, now what does he want? SHREK (to congregation as he reaches the front of the Church) Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first of all. Very

clean. FIONA What are you doing here? SHREK Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding... SHREK Fiona! I need to talk to you. FIONA Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me - - SHREK But you can't marry him. FIONA And why not? SHREK Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king. FARQUAAD Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. SHREK He's not your true love. FIONA And what do you know about true love? SHREK Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - - FARQUAAD Oh, this is precious. The ogee has fallen in love with the princess! Oh, good Lord. (laughs) The prompter card guy holds up a card that says 'Laugh'. The whole congregation laughs. FARQUAAD An ogre and a princess! FIONA Shrek, is this true? FARQUAAD Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! (puckers his lips and leans toward her, but she pulls back.) FIONA (looking at the setting sun) "By night one way, by day another." (to Shrek) I wanted to show you before. She backs up and as the sun sets she changes into her ogre self. She gives Shrek a sheepish smile. SHREK Well, uh, that explains a lot. (Fiona smiles) FARQUAAD Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! Get them both! The guards run in and separate Fiona and Shrek. Shrek fights them. SHREK No, no! FIONA Shrek! FARQUAAD This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See? FIONA No, let go of me! Shrek! SHREK No! FARQUAAD Don't just stand there, you morons. SHREK Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh! FARQUAAD I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg for death to save you! FIONA No, Shrek! FARQUAAD (hold a dagger to Fiona's throat) And as for you, my wife... SHREK Fiona! FARQUAAD I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I'm king! Shrek manages to get a hand free and he whistles. FARQUAAD I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - (Donkey and the dragon show up and the dragon leans down and eats Farquaad) Aaaah! Aah! DONKEY All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. (The dragon roars.) I'm a donkey on the edge! The dragon belches and Farquaad's crown flies out of her mouth and falls to the ground. DONKEY Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? The congregation cheers. DONKEY Go ahead, Shrek. SHREK Uh, Fiona? FIONA Yes, Shrek? SHREK I - - I love you. FIONA Really? SHREK Really, really. FIONA (smiles) I love you too. Shrek and Fiona kiss. Thelonius takes one of the cards and writes 'Awwww' on the back and then shows it to the congregation. CONGREGATION Aawww! Suddenly the magic of the spell pulls Fiona away. She's lifted up into the air and she hovers there while the magic works around her. WHISPERS "Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true form. Take love's true form. Take love's true form." Suddenly Fiona's eyes open wide. She's consumed by the spell and then is slowly lowered to the ground. SHREK (going over to her) Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right? FIONA (standing up, she's still an ogre) Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. SHREK But you ARE beautiful. They smile at each other. DONKEY (chuckles) I was hoping this would be a happy ending. Shrek and Fiona kiss...and the kiss fades into... THE SWAMP ...their wedding kiss. Shrek and Fiona are now married. 'I'm a Believer' by Smashmouth is played in the background. Shrek and Fiona break apart and run through the crowd to their awaiting carriage. Which is made of a giant onion. Fiona tosses her bouquet which both Cinderella and Snow White try to catch. But they end up getting into a cat fight and so the dragon catches the bouquet instead. The Gingerbread man has been mended somewhat and now has one leg and walks with a candy cane cane. Shrek and Fiona walk off as the rest of the guests party and Donkey takes over singing the song. GINGERBREAD MAN God bless

us, every one. DONKEY (as he's done singing and we fade to black) Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. THE END

Omg

[peanutxparker]

A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not

Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)

“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”

“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”

“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”

“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”

“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”

“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”

“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”

“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”

“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”

“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”

People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)

“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”

“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”

“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”

“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”

“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”

“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”

“No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”

“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”

“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”

“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”

“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”

“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”

“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”

“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”

“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”

“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”

Can’t Maintain (2009)

“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”

“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”

“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”

“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”

“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”

“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”

“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”

“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”

“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”

“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”

“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”

“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”

“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”

“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”

“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”

Knife Man (2011)

“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”

“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”

“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”

“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”

“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”

“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”

“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”

“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”

“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””

“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”

“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”

“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”

“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”

“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”

“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”

“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”

Rompilation (2012)

“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”

“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”

“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”

“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”

“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”

“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”

“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”

“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”

“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”

“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”

Christmas Island (2014)

“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”

“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”

“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”

“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”

“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”

“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”

“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”

The Bible 2 (2016)

“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”

“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”

“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”

“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”

“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”

“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”

“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”

“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”

“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”

“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”

Good Luck Everybody (2019)

“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”

“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”

“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”

“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”

“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”

“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”

“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”

“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”

“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”

“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”

“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”

“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”

“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”

“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”

“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”

[fydream]

34 | previous | next | m.list | main m.list |

✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

a/n: hi! an authors note before this chapter begins! 1. yes i know the formatting is different but that’s only because this chapter is 5.9k words long!! (yes you heard me!! 5.9k!! that’s the most ive written for anything published on this blog!!) so there will be a cut bc i know it’s annoying to scroll past long posts haha. 2. i know i didn’t mention it in this chapter but i just wanted to say that if you did want to listen to music while reading this, during y/n and jisung’s scene you should definitely listen to euphoria by bts and that jeno and donghyuck’s song is i.l.y. by the rose. i hope u guys enjoy!

An hour or so later you're running out your front door to meet Jisung, who already regrets saying he'll wait.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" You apologize. "I didn't mean to take that long you must've been bored out of your mind!"

"It's okay." Jisung reassures. "We won't be there that long, we might be a little late to hoco if that's okay with you."

"That's fine!! Just let me text Donghyuck that I'm with you then."

"Okay."

The ride to where Jisung is taking you is quiet, nothing but his various hums to the music he plays as as he drives. It's nice, it reminds you of the first time he gave you a ride home. Quiet, but comfortable.

Instead of looking at your phone you look out the window, then take a second to look at Jisung before looking back out the window again.

You so weren't slick about it either because he notices how you quick you look away and how eager you are to sneak another glance.

"What?" He asks. "Why'd you look at me like that?"

"It's nothing.." You mumble, trying best to hide the smile that's slowly creeping up on your face.

"C'mon." He insists. "Tell me!!" He tries to make it sound like he doesn't care about the topic that much, but his vocal chords work against him as it comes out as a whine.

"Nothing.. It's just.. You look like that, and I look like this.."

"What, you mean beautiful like always?"

Jisung makes note of how quickly your cheeks turn pink at the comment he made.

"You can't just say that!" You argue.

"Yes I can, you're my date tonight after all. What kind of person would I be to not compliment their date?"

You open your mouth, about to speak before he cuts you off from your thought. "And don't worry y/n. I'll take that look as a compliment itself." He snickers.

"Hey!" You shout, earning another laugh from him.

"Hey Jisung?" You ask once the giggles die down.

"Hm?"

"Don't tell anyone I've said this but um.." You start, trailing off at the last part. "Donghyuck has uh, told me things.. about you." You notice how he looks at you, how the expression on his face quickly changes from happy and carefree, to concerned and worried. "I know you probably know what I'm talking about.. I uh- I can kinda.. tell.."

"Yeah." He whispers, trying to block out what you just told him.

"But y'know. I think he's got you all wrong."

"You do?" He asks, a bit too eagerly.

"I do." You say. "From the past how many weeks? Of knowing you, we've gotten close. And I don't think you're anything like that, at least, not anymore.. I've seen the difference between how you act in class and when you're with Jeno and Jaemin, than how you are when we're together and I'd like to hope it isn't just an act. I'm not stupid, y'know."

"I never said you were, I never thought you were either."

"I know. You're not too hard to read, y'know."

For once, Jisung is left speechless. This is the first time anyone has really brought this up on him and he has no idea how to respond. Questions begin to flood his thoughts as he begins to wonder what do you know. Do you know the real reason why he asked you out? How long have you known? What if you never want to talk to him again?

"I-" He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

"It's okay. I don't know everything about you." You scoff, watching as the boy next to you lets out an exhale. "I don't know that much, but I know enough."

"Enough?" He asks.

"Enough to know that if you are going to break my heart, you should do it right now. Because this is the part where I'm about to tell you how much I like you, and I don't want you getting that satisfaction."

Once you're done talking, you give him a smile. It's a small, innocent, bittersweet smile. It's one of the smiles you would give out to other girls who were ever mean to you, it's subtle, but it gets the point across.

"So what'll be? Park Jisung." You ask, awaiting a response.

Jisung has many things to think about right now, the most important one being driving. He still has yet to process everything you just told him, let alone figure out what to say.

"I.. don't know what to tell you, y/n." He sighs. "I don't want to hurt you.. Can you give me a few minutes?"

"You can have all the time in the world, sweetheart."

When Jisung finally decides to talk to you once you've reached your destination. If you're going to be honest, it was the most awkward car ride you've been in.

"Okay." He starts, closing his car door. "I know that was way more than a few minutes but I just wanted to tell you this here."

The spot that he had taken you to was a little hill area, on the other side of town. From the top of it you could see the sun set as it's golden rays covered the place you called home. You weren't going to lie, it was beautiful indeed but you didn't care for it at the moment. What you wanted to know was what he was going to say.

"I was.. gonna tell you this here no matter what happened so uh.. Here goes nothing?" There's hesitation, and you can already tell that whatever he was going to tell you was something big. "I'm not here to break your heart, y/n. I know, that's what you thought and probably what everyone else thought too but.. you're different. I know this."

Your brain wants you to call bullshit on that statement but your heart prevents you from doing so. The logical part of you believes that it's probably all a lie, an act just to get you to fall for him. You know this. You know the stories, you've seen the receipts of what he's done to people before you, and you can only assume the things he'll do just to make you fall for him. But if you knew this, then why does it still work?

"Am I really different?" You ask, looking up at him with shaky eyes.

He chuckles.

"Well, yeah. For starters, you're the first girl to ever call me out on my bullshit like that so.." He jokes. "I know.. you're scared. But you shouldn't be." He whispers. "You really are different. I promise."

"Listen, Jisung." You start. "I really want to believe you. It's just hard, because you haven't really given me a reason on why I should."

"That's okay. I understand." He says softly. "I didn't expect you to."

For a second, your heart breaks. It would've continued if he didn't continue talking right then and there.

"But what if I told you all the reasons why you should?" He asks, giving you a shy smile.

"What are they?"

"Well first of all. You're smart. You're smarter than I'll ever be. You've figured me out in what? The span of three months? You don't give yourself enough credit than you deserve. Second of all, you're really passionate about a lot of things. Like that time we argued in the library over the best Stranger Things season? Even though you were wrong, you kept arguing against me."

"Hey!" You exclaim, while Jisung gives you a smile in response.

"Third of all, you're really cute. Don't think I don't notice how your nose scrunches whenever I make a comment you don't like, or how easily you get excited over the simplest things. Remember when we walked to the cafe across the street from school? You got excited because the place had good boba, out of all things. Do you know how ridiculous you sounded?"

"Well- yeah! That's because it was a cafe! And not a boba shop!" You defend.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Also, did you know that whenever you get embarrassed over something not only your cheeks turn pink, but your nose does too."

"You can stop now.. y'know.." You mumble.

"These are just a few things that I like about you, y/n. Do I need to tell you all of them for you to believe me?" He asks, looking at you innocently, as if he didn't just give you the biggest ego boost of all time.

"I believe you." You giggle as he pulls you in for a tight hug.

"Thanks, love." He whispers, placing a light kiss on the top of your head. "Now it's your turn. What were you going to tell me in the car?"

The next hour or so is spent with you two talking about each other, both of you giving out compliments as if there were no tomorrow. If it weren't for the sun being completely gone then you two probably wouldn't have noticed how long you've been alone together.

"Oh my god." Jisung exclaims. "What time is it?"

"Uhm.. Seven fifteen?" You respond, quite confused on why he was suddenly freaking out.

"We have to go, now. They're going to close the doors in like ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay!" You smile, eagerly skipping back to Jisung's car with his hand intertwined with yours. "We better get going then, huh?"

"Y/n said that she might be late because she's with Jisung already." Donghyuck tells Renjun and Chenle once pull up in front of his house.

Renjun had driven both of them together due to them only being a block away from each other. Donghyuck on the other hand was going to drive you, but when you texted him that you were already with Jisung he decided to ask Renjun for a ride. "Sorry for the inconvenience.. by the way." He mumbles, buckling his seat belt.

"It's alright. Where do you think they went?" Renjun asks.

"Hell if I know. This is the most I've seen Jisung do for anyone." Donghyuck retorts, clearly bitter about being ditched by his best friend.

"Should we be worried?" Chenle asks.

"I don't think so." Donghyuck responds. "Y/n is her own person and she can handle herself, plus what the fuck is Jisung even gonna do? They probably went to take pictures or something."

Chenle shrugs. "I guess so. How are you doing then?"

"What do you mean?"

Chenle shrugs again. "You know what I mean. During the time you two fought you barely said anything to each other, it was just her hanging out with Jisung. Then, even after you made up she ditched us to hang out with him and even now they're probably on a date before the dance or something. How are you dealing with it?"

Once Chenle is done talking, Renjun shoots him a glare before hitting him lightly on the back of his head.

"Ouchie.. That hurt!" Chenle whines. "Aren't you supposed to be driving Junnie.~~" He teases.

"Yeah but I'm also trying to make sure no one fucking cries tonight." He hisses. "Why would you even ask that?"

"I dunno. Was curious I guess?"

"Haven't you heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?"

"It's been alright." Donghyuck says to prevent Renjun from harming Chenle any more. "I haven't really thought about it I guess? I mean.. I was the one who assigned her to Jisung after all so.."

"Do you think she y'know? Likes him?" He asks.

"Chenle!"

"Whaaaat?? I'm just asking."

"Zhong Chenle you will drop this topic before I stop this car and make you walk to homecoming alone."

"You wouldn't do that. You love me too much."

"Don't try me." Renjun threatens, turning on his blinker.

"Okay okay.. god.."

"Are you two done arguing now?" Donghyuck asks, rolling his eyes. "And no, Chenle. I don't think she does. If she did she would've told me by now."

"Alright Hyuck.. Whatever you say."

Sooner than later the three arrive at school where Renjun drops off Chenle and Donghyuck to hop in the line already forming before leaving to park his car.

"Ask any more questions Lele, and you're walking home." Renjun threatens before Chenle slams the car door on him.

"I mean it this time!" Renjun yells as he watches the two boys walk away from him.

"So." Chenle starts as Renjun drives off. "What's your answer?"

Donghyuck gives him a confused look. "Answer?"

"To y'know.. the question."

"I already told you."

"No silly, I meant your real answer."

Donghyuck is silent for a second before he decides to answer.

"How did you know?" He asks, and Chenle giggles.

"You just told me." He laughs. "I didn't think you'd walk into that one, Hyuck."

"Oh shut up." Donghyuck teases. "It's not like it would matter or anything."

"I supposed you're right." Chenle hums. "But if it did.. Then what?"

"Then I'd tell her to get out of there." Donghyuck whispers to himself.

"Hm?"

"Oh- uh, nothing. I dunno." Donghyuck responds. He knows he has no chance in fooling Chenle but even after that response you'd know not to bother him about the topic anymore.

Once Renjun is done parking he meets up with the two boys and they discuss about how their night will go. While the line slowly moves Renjun argues with Chenle that they should take photos first. Chenle argues back saying that he wants snacks and that all the good ones will be gone if they wait too long. While this goes on Donghyuck has been sending you frequent texts.

[hyuck: hey! we're in line now! see you in a bit?]

[hyuck: are you on your way soon?]

[hyuck: pls hurry.. renle fighting.. dk what to do..]

Needless to say, you haven't responded to any one of them, leaving Donghyuck wonder what you were even doing.

After successfully waiting in line and making it through their schools quick security check, Chenle, Renjun, and Donghyuck had finally made it inside the gymnasium where the dance was being held.

Once inside they move to an quieter place, where they could talk without having to yell over the already loud music that's being played.

"What about you Hyuck?" Renjun asks. "What do you want to do first?"

"Hmm? What? Sorry." Donghyuck responds, checking his phone once more before pocketing it. "What's happening?"

Renjun frowns. "You weren't listening, huh?"

"No, sorry." He apologizes. "Y/n hasn't texted me back yet and I don't want to do anything until she gets here y'know?"

"Don't worry Hyuck, it's possible they're still outside or something. They just opened the doors y'know."

"Yeah I know.. I'm just.. yeah."

Ten minutes later, you still haven't responded and the music is loud, but it's not loud enough to drown out Donghyuck's heartbeat as he frantically awaits your arrival. As each second passes by he begins to regret letting you go with Jisung, because you're never late, but the second that he lets Jisung control how your night starts you're ten minutes late and they're be closing the doors to the dance soon.

Renjun begins to notice that you aren't here either and decides walk over to Donghyuck to ask if he knew where you were.

"Hyuck, is Y/n here yet?" He asks, tapping his shoulder lightly.

Donghyuck gives no verbal response, instead he shakes his head while he fiddles with his phone checking back if you happened to text him. "I don't know where she is Junnie.."

"Hey, it's okay." He reassures. "It's not like she's in danger or anything, I know you don't trust Jisung that much but I doubt he'd do anything to hurt her. She'll be here soon, okay? I promise."

"Junnie~~" Chenle whines, popping up from behind them. "I'm boredddd. Can't we just do something already?"

"Lele, not now." Renjun shoos. "We're talking here."

"It's okay." Donghyuck says. "You guys can go do something, it's fine. I don't want to keep you from having fun tonight."

"Are you sure?" Renjun asks, he knows not to believe Donghyuck but he's getting quite annoyed at the fact that Chenle keeps pulling at his arm.

"Yeah. It's fine, if anything happens I'll text one of you."

"You heard him!! Let's go!!" Chenle exclaims before grabbing Renjun by the arm to drag him to god knows where.

"Chenle!" Renjun yelps. "I-I'll text you Hyuck! We won't be gone for long. I swear!" He yells back at him.

And then the two were gone. Leaving Donghyuck alone, by himself.

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone, in a place full of people.

He doesn't know why he let them go off without him, maybe it's because he wanted to be alone, or maybe it's because he didn't know any better. But standing alone on the sides of a school dance, with no one to talk to really shows how lonely you are. He knows none of you meant to do it to him on purpose, it's just him overthinking things after all. But if he was okay with them leaving, then why did it hurt?

Deciding it was awkward enough to just stand there and people watch, Donghyuck decides to go back on his phone. He checks your text messages only to see no response. "Great." He thinks to himself. "You said you would be here, but you're not. I guess you did spend a lot of time with them after all."

Donghyuck feels himself about to cry when someone taps his shoulder. He closes his eyes trying to fight back the few tears that threaten to spill before having to talk to whoever was with him. He didn't want to answer any questions on why he was crying, only knowing that if someone asked him if he was okay he wouldn't be able to control them.

When Donghyuck looks up from his phone, the last person he expected to see is standing in front of him.

"Hi." Jeno greets. It's short, and airy. But it's just enough to get his heart racing. Is it from fear? Worry? Or is it from the fact that his ex, just so happened to catch him at the wrong place and wrong time.

"Hi." Donghyuck responds. It doesn't mean much because he didn't put any emotion into it, instead he decides to focus his attention elsewhere. He looks past Jeno towards the entrance of the gymnasium in hopes of seeing you walk in, spoiler alert, you didn't. "Chenle and Renjun picked the worst time to leave.." He thinks to himself. "I can't blame them though, after all I did tell them it was okay."

"You um- You look beautiful." Jeno compliments, giving Donghyuck a half-hearted smile. "So I've been told.." Donghyuck murmurs before attempting to push past the boy standing in front of him. "Listen. I don't have any time for this right now. Y/n said she would be here and she's not so-"

"Hyuck- Donghyuck, wait." Jeno starts, grabbing Donghyuck's wrist to prevent him from going any further.

"What the fuck? Let go of me!" He yells. It's loud enough to get the attention of a few people around him, but the music the DJ is playing is way to loud for them to have heard what he said.

"Hyuckie, I- Will you please let me explain?" Jeno practically begs, this is the first time that he and Donghyuck have interacted in person since the break up and he can already tell that he's blowing it.

"Don't- Don't call me that." Donghyuck states, hesitant to answer. "You've already explained yourself enough."

"Hyuckie.. Please. We haven't talked in months, you haven't let me say anything."

Of course, Jeno had to find Donghyuck in one of these moments, where one of their songs was being played by the DJ. It was one of the songs that Jeno had showed him, meaning it left such a big impact on his heart. He doesn't know what to do, does he accept Jeno's offer and let him explain? Or does he continue the rest of his high school career pretending that Jeno doesn't exist, leaving many questions unanswered.

Panic starts to fill Donghyuck as he looks around to see if anyone had noticed him and Jeno together. It would cause a bunch of talk, considering that fact that they were both pretty popular and that teenagers loved to start rumors.

He notices Jaemin as he spots Jeno from across the room, by the way Jaemin is walking towards them he can tell that he was looking for Jeno himself, clearly unhappy and very confused where he found him. He glances back at the entrance for a split second before looking towards the direction that his two friends had gone off in, only to see them walking back towards him, just as confused as Jaemin is. He can see the concern rise in Renjun once he sees who Donghyuck is with, as he grabs Chenle's arm to drag him across the makeshift dance floor that their school has created, where Chenle had decided to stop to talk to a few friends.

He looks back towards the entrance and to his luck he sees you and Jisung walk in. Thankful, he lets out a sigh of relief because he sees that you're here and that you're safe. He notices the smile that you have on your face and though he was a bit far away he can tell it's a genuine smile, like one of the one's you would show him when it was just you two hanging out. "I guess I worried for nothing." He thinks to himself, as he watches you two skip in, hands intertwined.

And amongst all this commotion happening at once, his ex, out of all people had to come up to him and ask him a question he knew he wouldn't be able to answer. So what does he do? He panics, of course.

"Oh my fucking god.." Donghyuck mumbles to no one in particular. Jeno seems to hear it but he doesn't process it because he's too busy being dragged by Donghyuck who was attempting to blend in with the big group of people who happened to pass by.

When Renjun, Chenle, and Jaemin end up where Donghyuck and Jeno were previously standing they're left more confused on where the two went. Though it's loud, Donghyuck manages to pick out Renjun's voice yell "What the fuck?" over a crowd of teenagers.

Donghyuck smiles to himself, knowing that he successfully got away. He didn't think it'd work, he'd only seen it in movies before and you know what people say, it's just movie magic after all.

"Where are we going?" Jeno asks innocently.

"Outside." Donghyuck responds, leading their way towards the "exit" sign on the other side of the gymnasium.

"Why?" Jeno asks once more, and Donghyuck turns around just to shoot him a glare.

"So no one. fucking. sees us." He grits through his teeth.

Needless to say, Jeno doesn't ask any more questions after that.

"Where is everyone?" You ask Jisung through the fit of giggles you let out.

"I dunno. Jeno isn't answering his phone so I'll call Jaemin, yeah?" He responds, just as giddy as you are.

"Oh, I was talking about Renjun, Chenle, and Hyuck."

"You can hang with us for a bit!" Jisung insists.

"I know but I haven't seen them all day." You pout. "I'll hang out with you after!! Besides, they're my best friends after all. How would you feel if I took you away from Jeno and Jaemin?"

"My dear you're allowed to do that any day of the week. I like you better than them anyways." He teases.

"Oh shut up. You know what I meant." You snort. "Can we just go find them please?"

"Yeah, hold on- Hi Jaemin!" Jisung says through his phone. "What? Sorry.. I can't really hear you. Is that Renjun? Why is he yelling at you?"

Your ears perk up hearing the name of your friend leave Jisung's mouth. "Renjun?" You ask, looking at him curious. "Are they okay?"

Jisung nods at you while trying to hear what Jaemin has to say, it's hard considering the fact that there's not only loud music coming from his phone speakers but the voice of an angry boy as well, and to add onto that, the same music being played just a couple feet away from you.

Pouting, you look at him. Jisung can tell you're worried about your friends by the way that your pupils shake as he pulls you into another tight hug, hoping to ease a bit of the worry.

From then you can kind of make out the conversation on the phone, it's something about Jeno and Donghyuck being together then suddenly disappearing out of thin air, like a magic trick.

"Where are you?" Jisung asks.

"We're in one of the back corners." Jaemin yells through his phone. "The uhh.. One on the right, your left."

"Okay. We're on our way." Jisung says before hanging up.

"I guess our night of fun had to end somewhere." He tells you before you two head further into the gymnasium to meet up with your friends.

Once you meet up with the three boys you're greeted with a hug from Chenle while you watch as Renjun and Jaemin argue.

"So they were right here?" You ask tapping Renjun's shoulder.

"Yeah. And then all of a sudden they disappeared." He says, quite frantically.

"Y'know worrying isn't going to do anything." Jaemin taunts.

"Yeah! And you making snarky comments doesn't help either!" Renjun shoots back.

"Can you two stop bickering a second?" Chenle snaps, surprising all of you. "We have no idea where the fuck they went and for the past five minutes all you two have done is argue? Why haven't we checked anywhere yet?"

"Because, Lele. They could be anywhere. We're in a room full of teenagers." Renjun states.

"For once, I agree with this one." Jaemin adds on, earning a glare from Renjun and a facepalm from Jisung.

"Okay? And? Have you ever thought about the fact that they could y'know, be outside?" Chenle asks.

"Why would they be outside?" You ask.

"Because it's loud in here, and it looked like they wanted to talk."

"So.." Jeno says, swinging his legs back and forth. He was currently seated on top of one of the picnic tables your school had, while Donghyuck was standing across from him, leaning against the corner of a wall.

"You said you would explain, so explain." Donghyuck states.

Jeno takes a deep breath as he stops swinging his legs, he looks at the ground before looking up towards Donghyuck who was already looking at him, clearly annoyed at the fact that Jeno was stalling.

"It was a dare." He starts, before Donghyuck cuts him off.

"Yes I know. We all know." He spits.

"But theres more." Jeno says once again. "As you know, Jisung dared me to ask you out and me, being the asshole I was back then, I agreed and decided to do so.." He pauses for a second. Trying to think of what to say next.

"Listen are you gonna keep stopping or are you going to tell the story?" Donghyuck comments, it's only been two minutes and he's already fed up with Jeno's bullshit.

"I am. I'm just trying to think about the right words to say."

"Why? So that I can fall back in love with you?"

"No, Hyuckie-"

"I said, don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Because Jeno!" Donghyuck yells, voice cracking as he tries to control the same tears from earlier from falling. "I am still in love with you! Each time I hear you say that stupid nickname my heart does leaps and I can't fucking stop it!"

His voice is loud enough for you to figure out where he is, and while the other students outside look around trying to find out what's going on, both you and Renjun take off running towards the sound of Donghyuck's voice.

Arriving in time to hear Donghyuck finish the last words of his sentence he can't tell if he's hurt or if he's relieved to see you. A sense of relief washes over him once he spots you, Renjun, and Chenle running in his direction. But then he sees Jisung and Jaemin, not that far behind you three, and he feels hurt, betrayed to say the most.

"So this is why you asked me, huh?" He scoffs, looking at Jeno with glossy eyes. "So you and your friends can get a little more enjoyment of my misery."

"Hyuckie- I-" Jeno starts.

"Save it. I don't ever want to hear from you again, Jeno. I can't believe I even believed you would tell me the truth."

Nothing more is said as Donghyuck walks away from all of you, and Jaemin and Jisung run towards Jeno. It's quiet, despite there being the sounds of the muffled music that's only being played from a hallway away, it feels like a horror movie with the unsettling silence between all of you.

Renjun is the first one to talk. His voice not only startles you, but grabs the attention of Jeno, Jisung, and Jaemin who happened to be a few feet in front of you.

"What the fuck happened?" He asks, looking at Jeno in the eye.

"I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry.. and that I missed things the way they were.." Jeno says, voice barely above a whisper.

Both you and Chenle can tell that Renjun is about to start yelling and if someone doesn't stop him now then fists will be thrown. Renjun is about to start talking again when Chenle interupts him.

"Junnie." He says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's not worth it. Let's just go find Hyuck, okay?" He eases.

Renjun takes a second to sigh and relaxes before deciding to head off with Chenle, he know's it'll only make things worse but he really wants to tell the three boys off and possibly throw a punch or two. "It's okay.." Chenle coos at him.

"Y/n, are you coming?" He asks, looking back at you.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Just give me a second. I'll meet up with you in a bit, okay? Just text me where you are." You say quickly before glancing over at Jeno and his crew.

Chenle looks at you, confused on why you were looking at Jeno. It only takes him a second to realize what you were doing before he walks off with a hesitant nod. "Um.. Okay.. Just uh, don't be long. I know Hyuck wanted to see you."

"Thanks Lele. You're the best." You say, before talking off towards Jeno.

"Lee Jeno." You state, standing where Donghyuck previously was. You earn a few glances from Jisung and Jaemin, ask if they were asking each other why you were here and how long you've been there. It's not because they were doing anything bad or wrong, it's because of the fact that they were caught being nice and genuine to one of their friends, something that barely anyone has seen before.

"Y/n." Jeno sniffs, trying his best to wipe away the tears that had managed to leak out. "What are- What are you doing here?"

"Save it." You say, walking towards him. You push Jaemin away as you take a seat on top of the table next to him. It earns you a glare from Jaemin, but you shrug it off and ignore him once he start's complaining that you stole his spot.

"Just- Just tell me everything." You sigh, awaiting a response from the boy next to you.

Jaemin shoots you another look before Jisung walks away with him, knowing this should be a private conversation. They don't go far though, just out of earshot.

"This is my fault." He starts. "If I just continued letting him hate me, then I wouldn't have hurt him like that.."

"It's not your fault, you just wanted to explain things. Do you want to tell me what you were going to tell him? Or is that too personal?" You ask.

Jeno is hesitant to answer. His first initial thought is no, but as the seconds go by his answer changes to yes.

"Start from the top. What happened?" You ask.

You're gentle, and being patient with him. It's something that he's thankful for. It's also something that reminds him of Donghyuck, because whenever the two of them had disagreements Donghyuck would always wait for Jeno to explain, this was the first time he hadn't.

"Okay well.." Jeno sniffs. "If you didn't already know.. Donghyuck and I used to date. Our relationship started off from a dare but as our months together passed by I began to enjoy his company a little bit more. I don't know what it was, and if you asked me I wouldn't be able to tell you but there was just something about him that I ended up liking. Maybe it's the way that his hair flopped on his face each time he ran up to me, or maybe it's because of how tightly he hugged me and how gentle his kisses were, but it was something." He pauses for a second, reliving through a few memories. "I ended up catching feelings.. and as soon as I figured out that I did, he found out how we got together."

"Oh." You sigh, not looking at him.

"I was going to tell him that I meant everything I told him.. All the 'I love you's' and the 'You look beautiful's' but he just wouldn't let me talk.. And then you guys came and that just- that only made things worse.. and now- god.. now he's gone. He said he never wants to see me again."

"I'm sorry, Jeno. It's my fault." You say softly, taking all the blame. "I'm the one who brought everyone here, if it weren't for me then you probably would be talking to him right now."

"It's okay." He reassures. "It's not your fault.. You just wanted to help your friend. I'm sure it would've gone poorly even if you weren't here."

"I doubt that's true."

"Are you kidding me y/n? He hates me! And he the worst part of it is that he has every right to do so.."

"I didn't know people who hated each other confess to each other about still liking one another." You joke, hoping to earn a laugh from Jeno. "Besides, it's not like you won't see each other again. You still have time to make things better, plus you have me on your side."

"My side?" Jeno asks.

"Well yeah. You still like him don't you?"

Jeno sighs, he's lucky you aren't paying that much attention to him because if you did you would've noticed the way he looked at Jisung and how it hurt him more to let you keep going on like this. Nonetheless he lets it happen and he wonders if he really does deserve your help.

"You're too good, y/n."

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Six

Words: 3.8k

Warning(s): Explicit language, explicit sexual situations, drug abuse, violence, domestic abuse

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I glance over as Emi starts on God, seeing her absentmindedly fumble with her cross as Mick listens intently, a small smile coming to my face. 

She's as enthusiastic about her beliefs as I am. It's a little more comforting having someone around that's on the same page as I am. 

That is until Nikki gets tired of hearing her go on and on about Christ. 

It's probably giving him flashbacks of conversations with Vanity. 

"Can you shut the fuck up?!" He yells back here to her, and she abruptly stops, looking at him. 

"Sixx, you're not even back here, just mind your own business." Mick boldly replies, too tired to fight about it. 

"What did you just say to me?" He cuts his eyes sharply. 

"He said mind your own business! It's not our fault your blood starts boiling and combusts into flames anytime someone mentions God! Shut up and deal with it and stop being a little bitch!" I state and he glares at me. 

A Jack Daniel's bottle is hurtling my way in no time, and I duck, causing it to hit Mick and Emi, soaking them in Jack. 

"Fuck you!" Nikki yells at me. "And you know what?! If God is so real why doesn't he just strike us out of the sky right fucking now?!" 

This sends Emi into a frenzy, grabbing her crucifix, praying, while Tommy and Vince join in on further terrorizing her, dropping their pants, along with Nikki, while they all shout on about how God needs to suck their dicks. 

I'd be offended if I knew God was. He's more than likely just looking down at them, shaking his head, wondering why he decided to create them in the first place when all they're doing is wasting their lives on booze, used pussy, and any drugs they can get their hands on. 

All the sudden, Tommy disappears into the pilots cabin, and within seconds we're doing a barrel roll, making Emi start screaming and crying. 

Once we get level, I'm taking a few deep breaths before coming to my feet. 

"Vivian." Fred scolds me, knowing what's coming, but I ignore him, marching to Nikki, Vince and Tommy, punching them both in the back of the head as hard as I can before slapping Vince with the same energy, Fred and Doc getting in the way before they can come back at me. 

"Fucking bitch!" Nikki barks at me. 

"Heard that one too many times, it's starting to bore me!" I bite back as Doc pulls me to the back of the plane. 

"See how boring my fingers around your neck are gonna be when I get ahold of you again!" He yells after me, Fred shoving him into a seat. 

"Maybe you'll kill me this time and do us both a favor!" I reply. 

"We have a gun at home just put it in your mouth and fire a-fucking-way!" 

"I would if I didn't know it'd make you so freaking happy, you sick junkie!" 

"God forbid you do anything to make me happy!"

"I sacrificed my dancing and my schooling to make you happy!" I throw at him.

"You threw out your chance to go to school and do what you were passionate about for me when I never even wanted you to do that! I wanted you to go to school, I wanted you to keep dancing but you didn't because you were too much of a pussy to leave 'cause you thought I'd break up with you!" 

"And we see where that fucking got me, don't me?! Married to a sick man who has no qualms about screwing his wife's best friend for over a year in the house he bought for her, in the bed they share!" 

"If that sick man didn't marry such a selfish, evil, farm fresh cunt from hell he wouldn't have felt the need to step out on her!" 

"You stepped out on me for drug love!" 

"I stepped out because I was bored with you and she fucked good!" He's venomously snapping at me. 

I want to say, "trust me, I know the feeling!" but decide not to. 

"Just be sure to mention that to our lawyers when you get back from Japan because I'm sick and tired of being married to you!" I shout. 

"Fuck you!" He screams. 

"Fuck both of you!" Doc snaps at us, heaving heavy breaths. "Now, I've had it, dammit!" He screams. 

We're all silent for a moment, before I'm glaring at Nikki. 

"See what you did, asshole?!" I accuse him. 

"What I did?!" He yells back, brows furrowing.

"Yes, what you did, since the only thing you're good at is stressing people out!" I shout at him. 

"I stress people out?! I stress people out?!" He starts laughing humorlessly. "I turned to fucking smack to escape your stress inducing bullshit, you delusional, rabid cunt!" He barks at me as Fred tugs me to the bathroom before I can get the last word in, locking me in until it's time to land. 

By the time we get to Fort Lauderdale, we've both calmed down enough to tolerate each once again, which is good considering paparazzi is on us like flees to a dog. 

"Vivian, Nikki!" Press shouts as cameras flash, Nikki reluctantly grasping at my hand as Fred clears a path in the people to car. 

When they see Vince, Tommy, Mick and Tansy behind us, they go after them next, giving me and Nikki time to duck into the car. 

"Geez." I sigh out, fixing my hair as Nikki moves across from me the second the door shuts. 

He leans his head back, cursing under his breath, raking a hand down his face. 

"You okay?" I ask him, genuinely, and he sneers, his eyes still closed as he catches his breath. 

"No, Vivian, no, I'm not okay." He huffs out with a sharp scoff, and I rub my lips together. 

"It's hard on me, too, you know. You aren't by yourse--"

"--Bab--Vivian, just shh." He catches himself before he says, "baby," and my heart tenses up in my chest. 

"Would you rather me scream at you and start an argument?" I ask him and he sits up, looking at me with smeared, running eyeliner, circles under his eyes, and ghostly skin. 

"I'd rather you just keep your mouth shut." He states, fumbling with his boot, pulling some tar, a spoon and a syringe out. 

"Oh, you aren't serious..." I say to him, raising a brow. 

"Me,Tansy, Izzy, Andy, Michael...don't act like you haven't seen someone shoot up before, Viv. If it makes you pussy out just close your eyes. I'll be done in a few seconds." He mumbles, about to start heating it in the spoon. 

I do just that, until I decide I'm not sitting around and let him kill himself anymore. 

I go to snatch the syringe and lump of smack away from him before he can stop me, opening the sunroof and throwing it out, going for his syringe next. 

"Stop!" He barks at me, guarding it, the both of us ending up on the floor of the limousine. 

"Nikki!" I scream, fighting with him to get it, but a sharp pain is soon shooting through my pointer finger as the needle stabs through the underside of my finger and out the top. 

It was by accident, being that he wasn't even holding the needle. 

"Motherfucker!" I scream to myself, Nikki's face paling further at the sight, as he lays underneath me while my tears are rolling down my cheeks as stinging pain spread through the nerves of my fingers, followed by the buzzing of the micro-amount of heroin on the tip of the needle that pierced my skin. 

I hiss as I pull it out and aim the needle at the car's carpet, getting rid of the shot, holding my bleeding finger as I sit up, Nikki still looking sick as I get off of him. 

"That shit wasn't cheap." He tells me, pulling himself up.

I don't pay him any attention, my finger starting to throb. 

He stares at me while I have my little pity party, before he takes a long sigh and grabs at my hurt finger, making me sniffle. 

"It's not like it went through the bone, Viv." He says dismissively, although he still holds to my finger as if trying to make it better. 

"Just shut up." I snatch away from him, frustrated.

"You shut up." He replies in the same harsh tone. 

"You fuck off." I kick my heel into his knee and he grabs my ankle and tugs at me, causing me to slide into the limo floor again. "Nikki!" I kick again with my other foot, this time, missing his crotch by mere centimeters. 

He slides to the other side of the seating to get away from me. 

When we stop at the next light, I'm reaching for the door handle and opening it up, causing him to pounce on me, and slam the door as I open it, yelling, "goddamnit, Sixx!" pinning me under him to keep me from opening it again. 

We both take heavy breaths, looking at each other...he smells repulsive, but I've missed the presence of his close proximity. 

The door opens suddenly, Doc and Fred looking down at us. 

Apparently we didn't stop at a red light, but our destination.

We both look up at them like guilty puppies, piled on each other, Fred, in particular, eyeing me like a hawk. 

"We're here." Doc informs us as we pull ourselves out of the car, and I brush off as Doc and Nikki walk ahead of me and Fred. 

"Don't say a word." I tell Fred.

"Wasn't going to." He assures me.

"It wasn't what it looked like." I say next. 

"Never said it was." He replies.

"Yeah, but, I know what it looked like, and--"

"--Viv, I'm not saying a word about it." He reassures me as we walk into the venue to see Steven, Slash, and Izzy sitting on the stage. 

Stevie sees me and makes a beeline for me, making a point to hug me. 

Steven was like Vince, but a hell of a lot more genuine and wholesome. He just loved love, affection, flirting, and women--especially women.

"Duff's really upset over what happened, Viv." He tells me in my ear. 

"I'll talk to him." I reply with a slight nod. 

"I don't know if just talking it out is gonna help much of anything, babe." He says lowly and I let out a breath. 

"I'll talk to him." I repeat, brushing off his warning. 

When I get on the bus, Duff's got his shirt off, shuffling through his bag, glancing at me. 

"Hey." I say to him.

"Hey." He mumbles back, grabbing another tshirt to put on. 

"Steven said you were still pretty upset about last night." I tell him, stepping a little closer. 

"Not with you...just...the situation." He explains in a low, frustrated tone. 

"Well, do you wanna talk about it?" I offer. 

He looks at me, letting out a breath, licking his lips.

"You've already said you guys are getting divorced, so, it's not like it really matters." He shrugs. "Just having a little trouble pretending like he didn't damn near kill you, but..." he trails off, seeing the look on me face before saying, "I'll get over it, Viv, alright? Don't worry about me jumping on him again or anything like that." 

"I'm not worried about that." I assure him, grasping at his hand, tugging him closer to me in the aisle, a small smile on his lips as his hand runs through my hair, our eyes locked. 

"I love you." He tells me, my arms wrapping around his waist. 

"I love you, too." I grin, and he presses his lips to mine, sweetly, before I'm pulling away. 

"Alright, your show starts in an hour and a half." I inform him. 

"Okay." He says dismissively, kissing me again. 

"Duff, we gotta go." I giggle, his lips kissing at my cheek, then my neck. 

"We will." He says against my skin, chuckling. 

"If you're late, Axl's gonna kill us both." I remind him, kissing him again. 

As always, one thing led to another, and then…

"Duff," I whimper out, my bare back wet with sweat from the humidity in the Florida air, my thighs spread as he pushes his fingers in and out of me on the table of the empty tour bus--my dress discarded to the floor, leaving me in only my heels since I wasn't wear a bra or panties, specifically prepared for this moment. 

The wet sounds of his fingers toying with my soaked pussy reverberate off the walls of the bus, only making the ache in me more hungry. 

His tongue swirls around my nipple, and he bites it teasingly, making arch into him, his fingers plunging deeply into me, purposely brushing that spot. 

I runny fingers through his hair as he goes to my other nipple, doing the same to it, making me sigh out in pleasure. 

He kisses my lips before grinning, taking a step back to look between my legs as if admiring me, his bare torso tensing with each breath in, his hand raking over his blonde hair. 

I pull my lip into my mouth, placing my heel on his chest, gently pushing him to sit down across the aisle, and I look at him smugly as he watches me, his hand palming at his crotch. 

I turn over to my hands and knees on the table, arching my ass up and my face down before reaching my hand underneath me to rub at my clit, watching over my shoulder as he takes heavy breaths. 

Two of my fingers tease at my entrance, and I moan out as they slide into me, my walls tightening around my digits as pleasure prickles up my spine. 

He keeps his eyes glued to me as I move my other hand to my clit, my toes curling as I eventually bring myself to orgasm, but I don't have time to recover before Duff's hands are grabbing my hips and his tongue is lapping at my center, sucking at my clit from behind. 

I gasp, my hand reaching back to hold his face to me, my body moving in rhythm with his tongue. 

Moans and whimpers come from me, and he pulls away for a moment, only to pull me into the aisle and push at my back until I've got my hands on the floor, completely bent over as he gets a better angle at eating me out. 

I nearly scream at the sudden accessibility he's got, on his knees, lips and tongue going to work. 

"I'm gonna come." I gasp out and he presses one more kiss to my clit before two of his fingers thrust into my cunt, making my eyes roll back at their demanding pace, curling to hit against my g-spot. 

He stands up, never pulling his hand away as the other hand holds at my hip, leaving to run over my ass cheek for a moment as I begin to spasm around his fingers, my legs shaking as cum runs down them. 

He pulls his fingers from me and I'm standing and turning to face him, sucking them into my mouth and he curses under his breath as I keep them in my mouth, my hand unbuckling his belt and pulling his hard cock out of his jeans, wanting him down my throat at the sight of precum beading at his tip. 

I keep my control, letting his fingers from my mouth as I'm licking my lips and rubbing my thighs together. 

I sit on the edge of the table, my legs spread, my hand between my legs as he steps to me, grabbing his prick and rubbing it against my sensitive folds. 

"Fuck, Vivian." He says softly, smile on his lips as if he still can't believe he's sleeping with me. 

I just grin at him and pull him down to kiss me. 

I cry out when he takes the time to push into me, hitting as deep as he can with a few more inches to spare. 

"Make me take all of it." I tell him after he thrusts a few times. 

He watches my face as he slowly inches it further and further into me, his tip hitting my cervix and pressing against it, making it give way little by little until he's buried in me to the hilt and I feel like he's in my stomach, tears in my eyes from the painful pleasure. 

"This is how deep I want you to go when you come." I tell him, sweat beading between my breasts and he watches it, leaning forward to lick it off my skin. 

"You want me to come in you?" He asks me, knowing the answer but wanting to hear me say it. 

"Yes." I nod, gasping. 

"Why?" He asks and I look down, his shaft disappearing into me and coming out glistening with my juices. 

"Because it feels so good." I reply and he grabs my jaw, his tongue meeting mine in a sloppy, passionate kiss as he picks up his pace. 

I grab his hand and guide it to my bruised throat. 

He almost pulls his hand away but stops when I look at him. 

"You're not gonna--fuck--hurt me." I assure him, my hungry pussy being fed the way its needed, making my eyes roll back and my lids close as my head tilts back.

He slowly grasps my throat, harder and harder, and the sensation sends sharp pleasure straight to my clit. 

My fingers go to play with it, but his fingers move mine from his way, staying in fast rhythm with his thrusts.

"I'm--" I can't finish what I'm saying before he moans out with me tightening around him, further wetting him with my juices as I finish

Within a couple more minutes he's breathing out, his dick twitching before he fits all of his length into my cunt and my body's being christened with his hot cum. 

Once I cool down and clean myself up, I'm going back to him. 

I pull my shirt back over my head as his hand runs up and down my back, his lips catching on the space between my shoulder blades before the fabric of my shirt can cover me, making me laugh. 

"Duff, we--" 

"Dude, we eat on that table!" We hear Stevie pipe, and turn to see him and Izzy looking at us in horror, by the door, where we're sitting on the table. 

"So did Duff, apparently." Izzy says with a crooked smile, cigarette smoke cascading past his lips as he finds it amusing. 

"Sorry." I say to them, quickly getting dressed as Duff gets up to pull his pants on. 

"We didn't see anything, don't worry. We just waited for the screaming to subside." Izzy lets out. "Axl's wondering where you guys are."

"Of course he is." I roll my eyes. 

"Not for that reason. I think he wants to talk to you about Tansy." He adds. 

"Tansy? What about her?" 

"What do you think?" 

"She's not going to rehab until she wants to." I immediately know what he's referring to. "And being that she's not enthusiastic about living, I doubt she cares whether she dies or not." 

"Well, Axl's all worried and googly eyed and gross." Izzy huffs out. 

"Plus, she's our friend, too, and we've all been trying to talk to her about getting some help." Steven tells me, next.

I get my shoes on and step past them to the door. 

"See ya in a few." Duff tells me. 

"See ya in a few." I reply, smiling at him, before going to find Axl.

The irony of anybody from Guns being worried for Tansy due to her drug addiction was exactly that: ironic. 

But I don't blame Axl for not wanting to see the girl he was miserably in love with (well, obsessed and unhealthily infatuated with) on the brink of her own final destruction. I guess because I'd been there with Nikki, myself, and knew how scary it was--even if big, bad, mean machine Axl refused to admit he was scared, I knew he was.

"Have you seen Axl?" I ask Doc as I pass him by, and he furrows his brows. 

"Might check their dressing room, I think." He replies and I nod. 

"Oh, and I'm sorry for mine and Nikki's fight earlier." I say before he can walk off. 

"Don't worry about it, Vivian." He nods a little as I offer a small smile and head to the guys' dressing room. 

The ginger isn't in there and I groan, heading to Mötley's dressing room to check in there, coming face to face with Sparkie. 

"What the hell are you doing in here?" I ask him, cutting my eyes. 

"Waiting for Nikki to get back from the bathroom...what about you?" He replies smugly. 

"Wondering why you're back when Nikki and Axl have both made it clear they don't want to see you again." I state. 

"The bitchy redhead isn't getting in the way of my business." He says, referring to dealing to Nikki. 

"You're so sick." I hiss out in disgust, turning to leave. 

"I'm kinda wanting to add a few drops of fuel to the fire, ya know...tell him about you and Duff." He starts, and I tense up, slowly looking at him. "End the last show of this leg of the tour with a bang." 

"He won't believe you." I try to say it confidently, but my voice cracks just slightly. 

"I don't think you're giving him enough credit, Viv. Sure he's high a lot of the time, but it's not hard to believe when almost all of your time is spent with Duff in some form or fashion--not to mention you lied about your friendship with him from the start, so…" he points out. 

"What gets you off about seeing people in pain? If you're not helping them destroy themselves, you're making things a lot worse for their life." I grit out. 

"I'm not making things worse for his life by telling him about your inability to keep your legs closed. You did--well, still are doing--the crime, I'm just giving him a heads up about it because he's my friend, and my friend needs to know what kind of snake his wife really is." He remarks and I grind my teeth, turning to go again, but he grabs my wrist. 

"Unless she wants to persuade me to keep her secret?" He suggests, his cruddy eyes traveling up my body like they always do. "Last chance, Viv." He adds. "If he finds out, it'll completely shatter him. You don't want that on your hands, do you?" He keeps on, stepping closer to me, his arm sliding around my waist slowly as I stand still, frozen, as my heart pounds in my chest. "It'll just take a few minutes, and then you can go on your merry way, and I won't say a word." He grins, the tip of his nose touching mine, his chapped lips grazing mine as the door opens, revealing Nikki. 

[kissable-vance-medici]

||Temeplate credit to @video-space !! ||

[INFO]

Name: Leilani christan ormsby/thistlewaite

Gender:Male

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality:Gay

Weapon/fighting style of choice: Paddles/ Bats

[DIALOGUE]

Greetings:

-"Well hello, mind for a talk James?"

-"Hopkins! Greetings, a moment of your time please?"

-"Jimmy, can we speak?"

-"James, How are you?"

Saying Goodbye:

- "I have to go check on my baby Perri, see you later James"

- "Well times ran out, I have to hear another phone call from my mother."

- "I best be going, my designs aren't going to finish themselves!"

-"Fare well Hopkins, I have to catch a gift from my Fathers' in the office about now"

Chasing:

- "Get back here, you, you doormat!!"

- "Once I catch you, you'll be hearing from three lawyers!"

-"Stop running, face me coward!"

Out of breath:

- "I'm wasting time, you're lucky I have plans today.."

- "No..Wait till I catch my breath then you'll be unlucky.."

-"Oh! My side! Heavens I need to run more.."

Walking around talking to themself:

- "My Daddies won't stop sending me hideous sweaters!"

- "Sometimes I wish I did come out a girl just so my mother would leave me alone about the subject"

- "Dresses aren't that bad to wear, mommy used to make me wear them when I was small! Maybe they're just tad itchy is all.."

- "Would life for me be much better if i was born a girl, well maybe for mommy's life.."

- "Having two dads ain't so bad as mommy always told me.."

- "My Daddy isn't as bossy as Mommy, I wish she'd get boys are more better than girls"

- "Only good gift I've gotten from my Daddies is Perri, no boy could replace him when it comes to those nights.."

-"Perri is what's keeping me from giving into my mothers wishes of what she wants"

-"Perri is like a baby to me, speaking of, I should go down to buy him treats"

-"My Mother says kissing boys here is dangerous, I think the only good advice she's given my entire life"

-"Maybe lower class boys can be handsome, well MAYBE can at least.."

Conversing:

- "Did your Mother ever make you say you were a girl?"

- "You know those rubber things in the small packages? I don't think it's gum.."

- "You know James, you are cute but I wish you dressed less poor so if we were seen together my parent's would suspect a thing!"

- "I think I have Scoliosis, I've been forgetting a lot of things"

- "When I was little I found this strange collar in my Daddies' room, I'm still wondering if they were gonna get me a puppy."

- "What do you normally shop for James?"

- "Do you think when you drink blue punch, your pee is blue? I swear some toilets suspiciously have Blue in them"

- "My mommy had a small dog named Lily when I was 7, she liked dirt, reminds me of the jar of dirt I used to make a dirt mountain in the living room when she strangely vanished.."

Conversation Response:

- "Oh my."

- "Indeed."

-"Quite interesting, may you say more."

- "Undertsable, I get that."

- "Couldn't get that, but I will try."

Complaining:

- "Maybe for once boys dressed nice I'd kiss them!"

- "I wish my Mommy would lay off, only if I had the guts!"

- "God dammit, I stepped in gum!I think I'm gonna cry…"

- "Perri accidentally pooped on my arm when I was chatting with a cute boy, I cant believe he'd do me like this!"

- "My last pair of underwear is once again missing! These pants are really not soft, think I'm getting another rash on my- you know where!"

Unknown/Cut Dialogue:

- "It is normal to faint five times after a hot shower?"

- "My Mother is getting on my back after that date with one of the bullies, wish she got that he actual showers?"

- "What the hell is a V card, is there letter cards I never heard about? And why do people always take them?"

- Sometimes I'll be doing something but blink and find myself on the floor, I don't get what the nurse means by neurocardiogenic syncope? Is that like a sleep thing?"

-"I have 10 brothers, no wonder my mom wanted me to be a girl"

Starting fight with Cliques:

[Bullies]

- "God, I hope your pimples don't pop during a punch!"

- "Bet you fight like you dress, poorly!"

- "You nothing more than pennies on the ground!"

- "Come at me you heathens!"

[Greasers]

- "I'll be washing my hand when I'm done with you!"

- "Under all that leather is nothing more but a walking non-sqeak door canister!"

- "Don't slip on your hair gel when you get a run start!"

-"Fast food places use less grease than you put in your hair!"

[Nerds]

- "You may have brains, but i know you dont have brawl!"

- "You're weaker than my baby cousin!"

- "You're gonna wish you keep that nose in a book!"

- "Hope you like not seeing for a week, four eyes!!"

[Jocks]

- "Keep those sweaty hands away from me!"

- "Smells like wet jockstrap!"

- "Come at me you Sport freaks!"

-"Football dont teach you punching skills!"

[Townies]

- "Glad bullworth doenst have you in it"

- "Proud Derby dont waste money on you!"

- "Ready to get a taste of Bullworth!"

- "I'd sue you but I dont think you have enough money to even pay for a parking hours at the cournt house!"

Requesting an errand:

- "James, If you do this thing for me maybe you can buy better clothes?"

- "Quite an heavens call, Hopkins I need help!"

- "Speak of the devil, James I need a errand please, help one out"

- "Jimmy dearest, mind getting em a few things? I'll pay extra!"

Friendly Comments:

- "Good evening James, you look stunning for once!"

- "Proper clothes, Hopkins I'm quite shocked"

- "Jimmy, ya know Perri doesnt find you all that bad?"

- "James, you make me question if some boys do have have taste here"

Unfriendly Comments:

- "Whered you find those? Bottom of your moms drawer?"

- "At least I have two daddies"

- "Move aside, I dont need to waste my eyesight on you punk"

- "The only thing thatd describe you is what you find vomited near the dumpster melted in the pavement"

[EXTRA]

Demanding flowers:

- "Maybe a little something can make me not mind your clothes?"

- "A gift would be nice if you really cared"

- "Honey, if you didnt have the fashion to ask me out, do you have the gift to make up for it?"

After receiving flowers:

- "I hope you checked for spiders, I might cry"

- "Well, i mean, clothes arent all that important right now.."

- "Quite nice of you James, ain't you a sweetheart?"

Before kissing:

- "I quite flattered, come here baby"

- "A kiss?Been awhile since a nice boy asked me this"

- "Let me see what's it like to kiss boys like you"

Post-kiss:

- "Oh James, I quite enjoyed that"

- "You know, maybe if your open tonight, I can measure some designs on you?"

- "I now get what Gord means"

- "We cant hold hands, I dont want any longer calls with my mother, BUT James I do appreciate this"

[PHOTO OF YOUR OC]

Tags: //Honestly i dont know who to tag 😔// @video-space @gordvendomewhore

[milomeepit]

Kiss Me- Moxiety (Highschool AU)

Word Count: 2.3k

Ships: Logince, Moxiety, Decani

Content Warnings: Minor blood/injury, violence mention, sex jokes, homophobic classmates

AN: Should I be working on my Big Bang? Yes. Should I be doing homework? Also yes. But I had the idea and it refused to wait 😂 Also, I'm on mobile so 1) no taglist but I'll reblog it later if I remember, and 2) I think I did the read more correctly but if it didn't I'd like to make a formal apology to everyone who gets this spaghetti mess of a oneshot on their dash

Virgil was somewhat used to the feeling that he couldn't breathe. Be it from panic, anger, or other overwhelming emotions, it was a familiar sensation; his lungs squeezed so tight it felt as if his chest would collapse in on itself. But nothing caused such a sweet ache as Patton.

(Kiss me out of the bearded barley

Nightly, beside the green, green grass

Swing, swing, swing the spinning step

You'll wear those shoes and I will wear that dress)

It had been Roman's idea, to begin with. The asshole. He'd teased Virgil endlessly about his flushed cheeks and soft smiles, directed entirely at Roman's best friend. Virgil had vehemently denied all accusations of love, of course.

"Come on, Danger Drone, you can't lie to me!" Roman teased Virgil from his position sprawled across his bed. "You've got it baaad."

Virgil shot a glare at his brother before returning his attention to his laptop. "No way," He scoffed, shifting on his own bed, tucking a small stuffed cat beside the pillow so it wouldn't be squished by his squirming.

Roman rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out before starting to sing, "Who ya think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and he-" He was cut off by a pillow smacking into his face.

Virgil snapped his laptop lid shut and hopped off of his bed, stalking over to Roman and crossing his arms. "I. Do not. Have a thing. For your dorky friend." He hissed.

"You know, you could really take some acting tips from Dad and me," Roman flashed him a toothy grin as he sat up, sitting nose to nose with Virgil.

Virgil scowled. "You're seriously cruising for a bruising, you know that, right?"

"As if. Logan would kick your ass," Roman winked. "He may be your best friend, but he's my boyfriend."

"As if. He'd be too busy lecturing you on provoking violence. And then you two disasters would probably start bickering and end up making out on the kitchen table again."

"Hey, that was one time!"

[[MORE]]

(Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

As much as Virgil hated to admit it, Roman was right. He was head over heels for Patton. Who wouldn't be? 

He had such a pleasant way of speaking. Sweet, warm, but not superficial. He was always trying to look after other people, be it upset little kids from the elementary school next door, students freaking out over exams and friendships, teachers carrying things to their car, or lost and distressed animals.

He knew that Patton wasn't always the super sweet, happy, helpful person he seemed. Nobody could be, they wouldn't be human. But Virgil found himself wondering what it would be like to comfort Patton, help him with the little things he was always helping others with. The bubbly boy was always so busy with everyone else, Virgil sometimes worried that he didn't look after himself.

On the plus side, he thought as he trudged to school one morning, Roman was good with that kind of thing. He would nag Virgil to eat, to have his meds, to go to bed if it was too late. It was annoying at times, but he appreciated it. Roman was protective of those he cared about.

Which meant he really should have seen this sort of thing coming.

(Kiss me down by the broken tree house

Swing me, upon its hanging tire

Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat

We'll take the trail marked on your father's map)

"What the fuck happened?!" Virgil gaped at the blood smeared across Logan's face, leaking from beneath the crimson-stained tissues he held to his nose.

"Oh, you know. Charming small town high schoolers," Logan sighed, his voice muffled and nasal, as he gestured to the pencil skirt he was wearing. 

He was in Roman's lap on the cot in the nurses office. Patton was already with them, sitting in a chair he had dragged from across the room, his hands fluttering anxiously as he cleaned up blood from Logan's shirt.

Roman was quiet, his arms wrapped around Logan's waist. "I'm going to beat them into the dirt," He muttered, his eyes glowing with anger.

"That's not necessary, Roman, honestly. I'll just stop wearing feminine clothing to school, it's obvious that was the catalyst here." Logan shook his head.

Virgil perched on the cot next to them. "You shouldn't have to, though. It's hardly your fault that they're a bunch of close-minded assholes."

"Close-minded assholes who should know better than to bully my beloved," Roman growled. 

Virgil glanced at him, noticing his tense shoulders and clenched fists. "Ro, you can't fight everybody who hurts us," He cautioned. "Jock or not, you've got limits like everyone else."

"Well, it isn't like they're going to stop." Logan twisted to face Virgil. "Let's face facts; they'll get in trouble, detention or suspension at worst, and then they'll go right back to it."

Patton pouted. "I wish there was something we could do, though."

The four were silent for a few seconds before Roman lifted his head. "You know," He said slowly, his eyes lighting up, "I might just have an idea of what we could do."

(Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

Virgil fiddled with his seatbelt nervously in the backseat of the car. "Are you sure about this?" He asked Roman.

Roman didn't respond for a moment, squinting into a compact mirror as streetlights flashed past, illuminating the interior of the car with yellow light. He snapped it shut, apparently satisfied, and turned to Virgil. "Of course! I'd love to see them try to come after us after tonight."

"You two look great," Pops chirped from the front seat, turning to look at them. His glasses obscured his face in the dim car, but Virgil could make out his wide grin. "You're really gonna knock 'em dead tonight!"

"And if by chance any of these bullies don't make it through the night, I have bleach and a shovel in the garage," Dad added with a smirk, throwing a glance over his shoulder before returning his attention to the road.

Pops smacked his arm lightly. "Dee! You can't fight fire with fire like that!" He chided. "Don't encourage them to murder people."

Dad laughed and winked at Pops. "Oh, lighten up, Em. I'm just kidding."

Pops let out an unconvinced hum before turning back to the boys. "Do you guys have everything you need? Phones, water bottles, snacks?"

"Condoms?" Dad added, earning him another smack. "Hey!" He complained jokingly. "I'm just making sure they stay safe."

"The school is catering for the dance, it's fine, Pops," Virgil laughed. "And we're probably gonna grab dinner on the way home, anyway."

"Alright, alright," Pops smiled, turning back around in his seat. "Make sure you guys stay safe tonight, okay? And if anything happens, call us."

"Yes, Pops," They responded in unison, sharing a fond eyeroll.

(Kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

Virgil wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when they walked into the dance. Roman was obviously going to get a lot of attention in the long, hip-hugging, vibrant red dress he had picked out. The lacy bottom of the skirt swirled around him as he casually strutted into the room, white heels clicking against the wooden floor. He wondered suddenly if he should have worn heels.

"Roman! Virgil!" He turned to see Patton and Logan, already posted up by the snacks table, Patton waving wildly at them. As they approached, Logan handed them each a cup of soda with a nod.

"You guys look amazing!" Patton gushed, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he looked back and forth between the two brothers. "You look really nice in purple, Virge, you should wear it more!"

Virgil felt a blush creeping up his neck as he took a swig of soda. "Uh, thanks," He responded. He hadn't been sure about the floaty violet skirt and silver, off the shoulder bodice when Roman had thrust it at him in the store, but he had to admit it was growing on him. Especially if Patton liked it.

He took a moment to look Patton up and down. Something about the shimmering, wide blue skirt and butterflies dotted across the neckline seemed familiar, but it was hard to focus on when Patton was smiling sweetly up at him, his sparkling blue eyes framed with delicate eyeliner and his cheeks dusted with shimmery highlighter.

"Your dad's really outdone himself with this one!" Roman exclaimed. "Cinderella, right? It looks gorgeous!"

Patton giggled and did a little twirl, the skirt swishing around him as he moved. "Yeah! He's been working on it for a while to sell as a costume piece, but when I told him about the dance, he said I could have it!"

Virgil grinned. Patton's dad was an odd one- a chaotic cryptid with all the self control of a hyperactive monkey- but he certainly knew how to hit an aesthetic. 

Logan reached out to Roman, standing up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "You guys really didn't have to do this, you know," He smiled gently.

"What? And have the world miss out on this view?" Roman spun, the flared base of his skirt brushing against Virgil's ankles, and struck a pose, his hand on his hip.

Logan chuckled. "I suppose you're right. It would be a shame."

"Nothing compared to the potential tragedy of not being able to see you all dressed up," Roman winked, tipping up Logan's chin and pecking him on the lips.

Logan blushed faintly, his hands moving to smooth out his dark blue skirt, the star-like silver dots speckled down the fabric catching the light as he moved. "Thank you."

"Shall we?" Roman offered his arm. 

"This is a dance, after all," Logan slipped his hand into the crook of Roman's arm, and the pair disappeared into the crowd.

(So kiss me)

Virgil leaned back against the wall, swirling his soda idly as he watched couples twirl past, dresses and suits and jewelry shining in the coloured lights.

Parties were... so not his scene, but he supposed it was worth it, between the surprised looks from the brats who'd beaten up Logan, Roman and Logan clearly enjoying themselves on the dance floor, and-

"Heya!" He jumped, turning to see Patton appear next to him. "Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to spook ya," He giggled, and Virgil's heart thudded in his chest.

"It's all good," Virgil responded. "So, uh... I kinda figured you'd be off dancing with your friends. Harley and Brian and all that."

Patton shrugged. "They all paired off for the dance," He explained. "It's okay, though! That means I can hang out with you!"

"Oh," Virgil said dumbly. "Uh, do you... do you wanna dance with me?"

Patton looked up at him with a wide smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

(So kiss me)

He was dreaming. There was no other explanation for this. Patton's arms looped around his neck, chatting happily to Virgil as a slow dance played over the speakers. Dreaming or dead, he repeated as he shifted his hands on Patton's waist.

Roman caught his eye from across the room and winked. Virgil fought the urge to flip him off as Logan laughed.

So what if he liked Patton? It wasn't like this meant anything. They were just dancing together as friends, and that was fine. Virgil would enjoy it while it lasted, and that would be that.

".. rgil? Virgil, are you okay?" He blinked and looked back down to Patton to see a concerned frown on the other boy's face. "You look like you're a million miles away, buddy."

"Oh, uh... just thinking. Don't worry," Virgil blushed. "I'm okay."

"I'd hope so. If I upset you, Roman might revoke his approval," Patton giggled.

"Wait. Approval?" Virgil paused, staring down at Patton in surprise.

Patton blinked, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Well, ah, I thought you- and he said he... is this not a double date?"

Virgil shot a glare at Roman, who flashed him a sweet smile and twirled away gracefully, vanishing into the crowd with Logan once more. "First I've heard of it," He told Patton.

Patton recoiled and took a step back, his face red. "Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, Virge, I- you don't have to-"

Virgil pulled him close again, his own face blazing hot. "I don't- I don't mind," He stammered. "Dancing with you. Or the, the date part."

Patton reached up and, after a moment's hesitation, put his arm around Virgil's neck again. "So... this is okay?"

"Y-yeah," Virgil confirmed. "More than okay."

Their faces were inched apart like this, and Virgil felt his breath catch in his throat as Patton bit his lip, his eyes darting down to his mouth. "Can... can I-"

Virgil didn't wait for him to finish the question before he leaned forward, connecting their lips in a soft kiss. It tasted like caramel lipgloss and cheap soda and cheese puffs and Virgil swore he was fucking floating.

When they broke apart again, Patton's eyes were shining in the pink-yellow-blue-green lights swinging over the dance floor. "Wow," He said, sounding almost as breathless as Virgil felt, and rested his head against Virgil's shoulder.

As they spun across the dance floor, the tulle of Patton's skirt flaring around them, Virgil decided maybe parties weren't so bad after all, as long as he got to bring Patton with him.

... Roman was still dead meat when they got home, though.

(So kiss me)

[smileyoongle]

Idol BTS! Doing a live together

Requested by @twiwwo

I hope you like it.... sorry for the delay. Took me long enough to complete this. Let's get it....

Kim Seokjin:

You pushed the door open with your hip while trying to balance the plates of food in your hand. Your boyfriend, Jin, wasn't feeling very good so you offered to take care of him. You narrowed your eyes when you saw him doing a live. A few minutes ago, he was lying in bed while complaining about how he was probably gonna die. Setting the food down, you sighed and turned to leave without a word when he grabbed your hand to stop you. "So my beloved Y/N is here and like I said she's gonna be joining me in today's EATJIN!" He announced as he pulled you to sit beside him. You gawked at him but you weren't really surprised. This was typical of him to do. And it wasn't like you hadn't joined his live before. You smiled and turned to the screen, greeting all the viewers. "So let's get to it then. Just a little warning though, Y/N's a terrible cook so if I seem a little out of it, please forgive me." He said, picking up the chopsticks, his comment making you gasp. "Excuse me?! You know what, I'm a terrible cook, right? Then maybe you should make your own food." You glared at him and placed your hands on your hips. Jin suppressed a smile from etching itself into his face. He absolutely loved teasing you. It was the most fascinating thing to him. But before he could snap back into reality, he saw you leaving the room with the food. He let out a small whine and grabbed the phone before chasing after you. The half of the live consisted of him convincing you that you made even better food than him and you wrapping up the live due to Jin falling asleep on camera.

Kim Namjoon:

You stole a glance at Namjoon, who was busy doing a live about his new studio, while you tried to fix the figurine he had broken. Smiling, you shook your head and continued to join the broken pieces again. It made you really happy to see how content he looked when he talked on his lives. Getting deeply engrossed in putting together the last detached piece, you didn't notice that your boyfriend had now pointed the camera at you. Namjoon let out a low chuckle before mumbling 'cute' when he saw the way you, involuntarily, stuck your tongue out. You let out a squeal as soon as you fixed the figurine, before clamping a hand over your mouth. You looked at Namjoon to see him laughing while the live stream displayed everything you just did. "How long have you been recording me?" You whined and hid your face with your hands. Moving from the chair to the couch where you sat, Namjoon pulled your hands and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. He leaned his cheek against yours. "Everyone, say hi to this saviour beside me. She saves things from the danger of being damaged by me." He said, making you laugh. The comments were filled with how adorable both of you were. In an awful attempt to give you a hug, Namjoon let the phone slip from his hands. You both stared at the cracked screen while the fans wondered what caused the sudden disruption. "Not again..." You mumbled as you shut your eyes before walking out of the studio, leaving Namjoon to figure out how to deal with this.

Min Yoongi:

Yoongi was doing a live while you baked cookies in the kitchen. Music was heard through the speaker placed on top of the counter. You started dancing while gathering all the ingredients in one place. Yoongi stood leaning on the counter while he showed his fans what you were up to. He let out a low laugh making you turn around immediately. You widened your eyes while he walked towards you. "This is what the person you all, so desperately, wanted to see was doing." He said to the live stream. You lightly hit his shoulder and went back to making your cookies. Yoongi placed the phone on the counter so that you both were visible. Soon the kitchen was a mess while both of you baked the cookies together. You mixed the ingredients while Yoongi handed them to you one by one. Finally, you put the cookies in the oven and sat down on the floor. Yoongi grabbed the phone and you both talked to the fans until the cookies finished baking. You took the tray out and tried to cool down one cookie. "Review time!" You grinned at the screen and took a bite. Instantly, you grimaced and stared at the cookie. "What is it?" Yoongi asked, taking the cookie from you and taking a bite. He coughed and made a face similar to yours. "I think I handed you the salt instead of the sugar." He concluded causing the fans to send millions of laughing emojis. Not wanting to waste the cookies, you both packed them nicely and decided to give them to the members. This live was by far the best live that you and Yoongi did. "The next live will be the reaction of the members to these awful cookies so stay tuned!" Yoongi announced, throwing up his signature gang signs, sending you into fits of laughter.

Jung Hoseok:

Hoseok was doing his usual 'Hope on the street' practice. He told you that he needed a partner for this and you agreed to help him. What you didn't know was that he was going to live stream the practice. You suddenly didn't like this idea anymore, his fans had only seen you in photos but today they would see you on live and this made you nervous. "Y/N, I promise they're gonna love you!" Hoseok said while he held your hand. When the live started, you pretended that there was no one watching you. And soon enough, you were laughing hysterically as you danced with Hoseok. He was still teaching you the dance. When you two got tired, you proceeded to take a break. You answered a couple of fan questions before going back to dance. Hoseok was busy showing his adorable dimples when you screamed. The camera almost slipped out of his hands but he caught it on time. "What's wrong?" He asked, moving towards you while the comment section was filled with panic. You squealed and ran back to your boyfriend. "There's a freaking cockroach near the speakers." You said, covering your face with your hands. Trying to be brave in front of you, Hoseok gulped and walked towards the speakers. You watched him carefully, bugs creeped the hell out of you. Your eyes widened when Hoseok gasped and took quick steps back to you, stumbling in the process and falling flat on his face. "You didn't mention that it could fly!" He complained. The camera faced the ceiling before you picked it up while laughing. It was funny, how could you not laugh? The rest of the live, you and Hoseok sat in the corner of the practice room while calling someone to help get rid of the little creature. Everyone had a good laugh whenever they saw this live.

Park Jimin:

"Please stay warm. It's really cold outside." Jimin said, looking at the camera while reading some of the comments. He stepped outside of his house and saw you kneeling on the ground. Making his way towards you, he turned the camera so that everyone watching the live could get a glimpse of what Jimin was so mesmerized with. Suddenly you jumped and let out a 'YAY' which made Jimin flinch a little. Only when he saw the smile on your face, he relaxed. You placed the head of the snowman on its body and stepped away to look at it properly. Not noticing your boyfriend, you scanned around for any rocks that you could use as the eyes. Jimin placed a finger on his lips and looked at the camera, taking slow steps closer to you. He bent down and grabbed a handful of snow, throwing it at you as you squealed on feeling the cool substance on your neck. You turned around to see Jimin laughing, narrowing your eyes at him. "Game on!" You yelled and gathered snow to throw it back at him. For the next hour, Jimin ran around with the phone while you chased him. The live was certainly entertaining as all the people watching were already separated into teams based on who they support. Getting tired, Jimin stopped running and faced you, seeing the huge lump of snow you held. As you swung your arm towards him, he ended up falling before the snow could even hit him. You gasped, not because your boyfriend fell but because he fell on the snowman you made. Rushing towards him, you moved aside the snow and took the phone to avoid any damage to it. "Look what he did!" You complained to watching armys. While you were busy being mad at Jimin, he pulled you to lay beside him on the cold snow. You pushed his hands away as he attempted to tickle you, the giggles falling from your mouth while the viewers got very interesting angles of your face, good enough to make new memes. Finally giving up, Jimin lay on top of you, his cheek next to yours. The fans gave very hearty reactions although there were some hateful comments. The live ended with the two of you going back inside the warmth of your house.

Kim Taehyung:

You and Taehyung were the crazy but perfect couple. So here you were, in the middle of the night, ready to blast your favourite songs in a karaoke booth. Taehyung started a live on his phone and placed it in the corner of the room, making sure that both of you were visible. You had been in taehyung's lives before and the fans were very fond of you. You held the mic as Taehyung chose the song. You let out a loud laugh when you heard the beats to "I am the Best" by 2NE1. In a few minutes, the two of you were singing as if your life depended on it. As usual, Taehyung went into his karaoke mode which consisted of him dancing in the most hilarious ways possible. You moved closer to the phone to read some comments. One of the viewers enquired about taehyung's rainbow wig. You held taehyung's hand and pulled him to you while pointing at the comment. He narrowed his eyes and thought for a minute. Suddenly he gave his boxy grin and went away while you shrugged at the camera. Taehyung came back, sporting your green scarf on his head. "Not rainbow but it works!" He grinned, taking your hand and going to choose the next song. The live went on for a pretty long time and two of you didn't look like you were gonna stop anytime soon. After watching Taehyung rap to cypher, you decided it was probably enough for the night. You both gathered your things and left to go home but ended up getting distracted on the way by an arcade. Taehyung held the phone up and placed his other hand on your shoulder, dragging you into the arcade. "It ain't over yet!" He said, striking his signature V pose. The live went on as the viewers watched you both beat each other's scores in the colourful arcade until the sun rose on the horizon.

Jeon Jungkook:

It was April fools day and Jungkook had been thinking of pranks to scare you. It had become a tradition and you had managed to come up with the best prank every single time. Jungkook sighed and started a live, regardless of whether he was gonna prank you or not. It had been a week since you and Jungkook had bought a car and you were currently out buying groceries. The bell rang, your arrival being announced by loud sobs coming from outside. Jungkook ran to the door and saw you crying, holding the steering wheel of the car in your hand. His expression was so hilarious, you really wanted to laugh. You dropped the steering wheel and hugged him, crying into his shirt. The fans were going berserk, they already figured this was a prank. "They sold us a fake car. I was pulling into the driveway when the steering wheel just came out, kook." You mumbled, sniffling to add more effect. Slowly Jungkook wrapped an arm around you, trying to understand how you managed to damage a new car. His eyes fell on the screen of the phone, reading a comment which stated that this was a prank for sure. He smiled evilly and pulled away from you. "If it's already broken then why not do it nicely?" He said, making you confused. He handed you the phone and went inside the house. "What is going on?" You asked the viewers. Before you could read the answers, Jungkook came back with a bat in his hand. He grabbed your hand and smiled at you, dragging you to the car. He raised the bat in his hand, ready to strike the windshield. "No, Jungkook! It was a prank!" You yelled and held his hand. At first, he gave you a serious glance but soon burst out laughing. You rolled your eyes. "You knew." You said, looking at the screen. Jungkook took the phone from you, still laughing. "I love you all!" He winked at the camera. You jumped on his back as he carried you inside the house. "There's always a next time." You shrugged, trying to look unbothered. Jungkook chuckled and set you on the couch, laying down on your stomach. A good half an hour later of conversing with the fans, you suddenly gasped. Pushing Jungkook off of you, you ran outside. Jungkook groaned, rubbing his elbow. "What happened?!" He yelled behind you. He heard the front door open as he stared at the live. "There was ice-cream in the grocery bag!" You answered, continuing your rescue mission while Jungkook shook his head and laughed.

[obsessivestar]

Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Part 21: ~Friendship~

Summary: You spend more quality time with your best friend and best man!

Warnings: None.

Read it on my Wattpad: @/HiddlesStar

Word count: 1715

Author Notes: Sorry this chapter took so long! Had to take a break to get the creativity back. Expect weekly chapter updates to resume again!

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife @bookgirlunicorn

"What the hell is 'Leg Day'?" Your friend asked, looking rather confused.

Your cheeks immedietly got a little pink. You had remembered in the last live stream you did with Tom, he mentioned the infamous High-Rise 'Leg Day' inside joke you two had created in regards to the first love scene where Laing lifts Charlotte's legs up. He had referenced the joke while talking about how Zero Suit Samus fights in Smash Bros. Ultimate. He didn't explain it, though, keeping the inside joke as an inside joke.

"Umm.." You paused again. You really weren't sure how to explain it, or even if you should explain it. It was a bit...personal.

"Well...it's..."

Before you could really give a response, Tom knocked at the door, walking in once he had permission.

"Are you ladies hungry at all?" He asked. You could tell your friend liked being called that from him. You weren't offended by their little crush. You understood how they were feeling, and it honestly made you feel even luckier to be with Tom.

"I am." You smiled some.

"Me too!" Your friend chirped. "I've barely eaten today."

"Shall we go out for lunch? Say, 10 minutes?.." Tom smiled some.

"In 10 minutes works!" You chirped, and your friend nodded in agreement. Tom gave a little wave and left, closing the door again. Surprisingly, your friend didn't ask about Leg Day again, thankfully. They probably just forgot about it.

After a couple minutes, the three of you left to go get some lunch. Unfortunately by now, the paparazzi knew what streets you and Tom go down to get to places like the grocery store and restaurants, so you'd spot cameras at specific areas. Tom tried not to acknowledge the cameras as you all exited the vehicle after arriving at a lunch joint, but you and your friend gave a slight wave before entering the building, knowing they couldn't follow you in. You were surprised to see that no one in this lunch place knew Tom or you, so you didn't see anyone watching you while you all ate.

"How did you two meet, again?" Your friend asked as you waited for your food.

"I'm surprised she didn't tell you.." Tom smiled, referring to you.

"No I told her. She probably just wants to hear the story again.." You chuckled, getting a little grin from Tom. "We met when he came to my hotel room asking for an extra towel. I didn't even know it was him at that moment.."

"I don't blame you. Me and Loki look nothing alike.." Tom smirked.

"Still, I should've recognized those nice eyes immedietly.." You admitted, getting another big smile from Tom. "It was actually (BF/N) that helped me remember who you were."

"Really?" Tom asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah, I had a call with her on that bus ride to the meeting. That's when she told me. After that, I met you at the meeting the director had set up. That's where I learned we would be costars.."

"Ooh, and the rest is history.." Your friend giggled, nudging you some.

"Do you think you would've realized it was me at the meeting, if she hadn't of reminded you?" Tom asked curiously.

"I mean, they said your last name in the meeting.." You nodded some. "My anxiety would've gone through the roof." You joked, Tom smirking somewhat mischievously.

"I hope you guys weren't having super obvious eye-sex at the meeting." Your friend joked with a chuckle.

"Oh not at all. Not until we got to his hotel room that day.." You admitted with a wink. Tom gave a little snicker.

"I was quite tempted to make a move then, I'll admit.." Tom smirked.

"So was I.." You grinned, seeing Tom's eyes darken and look you over.

"Hey." Your friend snapped their fingers some. "We're in public! Y'all are like rabbits. Jesus.." They shook their head, making you and Tom laugh.

"People would lose their minds if they heard this conversation, I swear.." Your friend laughed, leaning back against their seat.

It was nice reminiscing about your first couple days with Tom, before you had even begun to share a living space. You remember the dark fantasies that had been playing in your head when you went back to his hotel room with him. Now you've probably relived those fantasies twice as much as you expected in your bedroom, and now especially out of the bedroom.

"Let them hear." You shrugged, noticing Tom's slight surprise. You had started to come across paparazzi the more you and Tom have gone out. You wondered if any one of them had watched your streams to get any juicy gossip. Things have been amazing. Any gossip has been good and just excites fans.

During lunch, you talked a lot about your streams. Tom's been really interested in the technical side of it. He's almost been a regular guest. You guys can't even count how many inside jokes you've created.

Leg Day will always be your favourite, of course. It was practically the first.

After dinner, you all returned back to Tom's house. You all decided to stream together. It would probably be a while until the three of you get together again. Now's a good time for it. You all got to play a game together too, deciding to pick Smash Ultimate since it had just come out. Helping Tom figure out these games is one of the best parts of streaming with him. He could be so old sometimes.

"Oh my God, enough with the legs!" You chuckled as you fought against your best friend. They're good with Zero Suit Samus, and they use the Up B attack when you're about 100% to get a stock off you. They're really good.

"What, I thought you liked Leg Day?" Tom commented with a smirk, getting a shy but playful chuckle out of you.

"I don't wanna hear any of that shit, big dog." You chuckled. You could practically hear Tom's big grin as he gave out that iconic 'ehehehe' laugh.

"Y'all still have to tell me what that means." Your friend commented. You gave a slight playful glance to Tom, and he returned the expression. This is very entertaining.

Further into the stream, you were letting your friend teach Tom how to play. He wanted to get better with Joker.

"Joker is a pretty cool character." You admitted with a little smile, keeping an eye on chat while watching Tom and your friend play.

"He seems cool.." Tom smiled. He liked using the white school uniform skin, rather than the mask skins.

"I like his mask. It suits him." Your friend added. "Do you think Loki would ever wear a mask?"

"I don't think he'd want anything to cover his face.." Tom replied. "He may wear one to a Ball, as like a disguise.."

"Who would want to cover those eyes?" You smiled, getting a bashful smile from Tom.

"Very true.." Tom nodded.

As Tom was learning to play, you kept an eye on chat. In a quick moment, something caught your eye.

"Someone sent in a donation and just wrote in 'Nut Hiddleston' and it's really confusing.."

Your friend laughed. "Tom Nut Hiddleston.." They spoke, making you laugh as well.

"Nut? What? What does that mean?" Tom asked, a little confused. "Like a peanut?"

Oh God. That just made you laugh more. How can this man be so innocent in public, but a freak under the bed sheets?

"Sure. A peanut.." You nodded, though you could tell Tom didn't believe that's what it actually meant.

"What? What does it mean?" He asked again, getting all confused when you and your friend giggled. "What does nut mean?"

Him repeating the question just made you laugh more. Hearing it with such a concern tone in his voice was just hilarious. You were starting to notice that little small things he did were funnier than you'd normally think, like him giving little smiles or dropping something. It would give you a warm feeling in your chest, too.

You finally leaned in close to his ear to whisper what it meant. His expression went from slight confusion, to complete embarrassment.

"O-Oh my.." Tom blushed heavily, fixing his glasses. "I-I see.." You giggled again, shaking your head.

"How did you not know what it means?" Your friend asked Tom with a little laugh.

"I don't keep up with today's lingo!" Tom chuckled. "I just learned of what TikTok was the other day..."

"Oh God, TikTok.." Your friend cringed some, making you laugh. "Stay far away from that App, Tom.."

"From what I've heard, I can understand that.." Tom agreed.

After the stream was over, you all got ready for bed. You helped your friend get settled in the guest room, your former bedroom, before going back to your new room to lay down with Tom. You crawled into bed and nuzzled up to his half naked figure. He smiled and wrapped an arm around you.

"I nearly forget the times we slept in separate beds.." Tom admitted.

"I nearly forget what it's like not to wake up with jelly legs.." You added with a shy blush, getting a chuckle from Tom.

"It's not too much, is it?" He asked. "I'm a bit of an...adventurous lover."

"No, it's great.." You smiled, pecking Tom's chest. "You're great.."

Tom smiled, turning off the little side lamp so the room would get dark, laying down on his pillow and closing his eyes to fall asleep.

"...I'm gonna miss this.." You admitted, making him open his eyes again. "After March, you're headed back to the UK and I'm headed home.."

Tom detected the sadness in your voice. Truthfully, he would miss this too, but he couldn't possibly ask you to move in with him, or at the very least, spend another couple months away from home.

"...Hey now, that's not for another couple months.." Tom spoke up, trying to lighten the mood. "Let's enjoy the time we still have together.." He pecked your forehead, making you smile a bit.

"I know.." You spoke in a soft tone, nuzzling close before closing your eyes and falling asleep.

You can't keep delaying this conversation forever, though.