#penis elf

[rr-sheep]

·Microplastic Girl· (boy)

🎁·-{vocaloid-song-fanart-cover}-·🎄 Mr.Popular

[stickmaninperil]

It’s been a while.

[skyrim-forever]

okay but like Nerevar like this but clutching a spear in his chest

[dark-elf-writes]

You ever look at a character that a large majority of people hate and know that they would hate that character so much less if it was a man and not a woman?

[geekgirles]

Okay, but you just know if the show were rated a little higher Edred would have 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, made some sort of disparaging remark regarding Winston's dick during their verbal spat.

[monstergirlstink]

Leaving a plate of weed cookies out so a gaggle of magical trans elves only six inches tall visit me in the night and fuck my mouth and also fix my shoes I guess.

[rr-sheep]

Shitpost meme I made

[switchblade5898]

twitter decided to not show this to my followers so might as well post it here!

i decided to draw the penis elf and peensum from golden apple because it feels like they don't get drawn alot

also i just like drawing them

[epaily]

all the blocked nsfw tags in the world wont save me from the thing that just crossed my dash

[cloudbattrolls]

Speaking of I am so glad we are past the age of both mass heat anons and horny starters on main. Early FTC was the fucking Wild West.

[dark-elf-writes]

*slaps my fanfics ass* this bad boy can hold so many freaky sex scenes and self indulgent tropes

If you’re not writing for your specific kinks and most beloved tropes then what are you writing for really.

[meo-eiru]

Silas Masterlist

Silas Introduction

A sneak peak into his diary (there's alt text available)

Does his ears express his emotions

Silas 10k

He will try breastfeeding you

Do elves have magic

If you tried explaining how humans work to him

Does he let you drink from the tap

What elf cum tastes like

Silas is a human otaku

Silas with a darling who tries to run away

If another creature stole his darling

You are the only human he has eyes for

What if his nipple poked your eye

His nipples are very sensitive

Details about his outfits and would he make you dress like him

Silas with a darling who doesn't find him attractive

Making his darling live longer

Can his blood heal chronic illnesses

If other elves saw his darling

Sleeping with Silas

Silas drinking darling's fluids instead

Silas with a darling who wants to be pampered

Silas with a darling who wants to pamper him instead

If he catches you masturbating

Can elves protect themselves

Does Silas have friends

Does Silas ever realize his feelings are not platonic

Silas with a darling who randomly "disappears"

How Silas feels about feminization

Darling drinking from his tap

Silas' reaction to a human looking for his darling

Would he make you wear a collar

Would it kill darling to breed with him

Silas extending darling's life span

How far would Silas take pampering

Does Silas have a rut

Would he like a chubby darling

Riding Silas while sucking his tits

Silas with a darling who enjoys making him cry

Silas sitting on darling's face

Silas with a pregnant darling

Would Silas kill someone to make darling immortal

You are the only human he loves!

What if Silas' human was a toddler

If you die before Silas

If Silas' darling really wants to meet other elves

Would Silas marry his darling

Would Silas spank his darling

Silas with a creative reader

Would Silas ever get a "daddy" for his darling

What if reader wants to call Silas "daddy"

What type of father would Silas be

Would Silas get more needy after realizing his feelings for reader

Night care routine with Silas

Morning routine with Silas

Silas with a reader who is hyperfixates on elves

Are Silas' ears sensitive to loud noises

What past time activities does Silas allow

Short Silas penis description

How strong is Silas physically

If Silas' darling wanted to get a lover

What if Silas met another person before darling

Does Silas and reader have a language barrier

Nothing you do can make Silas snap

Silas penis size calculations

What does Silas' blood taste like

Does Silas find reader's ears cute

Silas is like a poison disguised as a warm homecooked meal

Silas with an equally airheaded darling

Does Silas feed you meat as well

Silas voice claim

Would Silas drink darling's blood

Does his pee have abilities too

Silas eating reader out

Cooking human food together with Silas

Silas is best pillow

Do elves know what technology is

Silas with a nerdy darling who's dying because they can't game

What does Silas smell like

Would Silas put you in a baby carrier

Silas with a broken darling

What would Silas search for on the internet

What Silas' house looks like

Does Silas shower

Can elves get pregnant

Does Silas eat his own semen

What if darling drew weird ass drawings of the boys

Silas' length compared to the other elves

What if his darling had schizophrenia

How to overstimulate Silas

If Silas found darling in a fursuit

Is he down for sleeping naked

Silas' relationship with his parents

How Silas gets new clothes for you

[thegardenshow]

If you squint, it looks like silk. But how about we focus on the pretty man, instead?

Link is in my bio for the uncensored version!

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

Trans elf girl who gets bullied by all the cis elf girls because her penis is smaller than theirs. She pretends to hate it so that they keep doing it

[softpascalito]

Here cums Santa Claus - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Jackson needs a Santa Claus - and Joel is the perfect fit. Getting to have you on his lap is just a bonus.

aka

The one where Joel is dressed up as Santa Claus and you get to ride him.

Relationships: Joel Miller x F!Reader WC: 1800 Tags/Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Christmas Smut, Penis In Vagina Sex, Unsafe Sex, Established Relationship, Costumes, Lap Sex, Riding, Rough Sex, Creampie, Female Reader, No use of y/n, Alcohol (one glass of whiskey), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Miller as Santa Claus, Age Difference (not specified) Read on AO3 full advent calendar (updated daily)

notes: pun intended. this is smut. beware.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

“Is that all of them?”

You try to keep yourself from giggling as you take in the grumpy face of the man beside you. It's half hidden by the fluffy, white fake-beard that's already starting to come off at the edges. His salt-and-pepper hair is hidden by a white and red Christmas hat, matching the rest of his Santa Claus Outfit. It's a little improvised, put together from what you could find in the small clothing selection that Jackson uses to make sure there's enough to go around.

You're still not quite sure how you managed to talk him into this: Dressing up and letting each and every kid in Jackson climb onto the chair and tell him their wishes. The first time he stepped out of his room after changing, you could barely hold it together, the way he looked like the most  miserable Santa Claus you've ever seen, pouting even under his fake beard.

But when the first child comes in and practically storms into his arms, you see the way he changes, a version of him you've rarely been witness to before. He's amazing with the kids, even maneuvering around the more difficult wishes with a smile and a joke that makes them laugh.

Now that you're alone, a small groan leaves Joel's mouth as he gets up, glaring at you and one hand reaches out to pull you a little closer, the green skirt that comes with your own Christmas Elf outfit giving him a way to steer your body towards him. When you're flush against him, his gloved hand gently squeezes your thigh, inching upwards.

“You're supposed to be Santa Claus, not some pervy old man touching his elves,” you mutter as you take in his gaze that has somehow shifted to one a lot more mischievous than it was a minute ago.

“Santa is a hard-working man. I'm sure he is allowed some fun once the kids are gone,” Joel smirks, a low grumble vibrating in his throat as he gives your thigh another squeeze before letting go.

You can practically feel Joel staring at your legs as you hurry back to your house, the red tights under your skirt doing almost nothing to protect you from the cold.

Joel grunts as he kicks off his snowy boots and makes a beeline for the whiskey, sinking into his favorite armchair by the fireplace as he pours himself a glass.

“You want a drink?” He calls through the house and smiles to himself when yell back, “Dying to have one.”

Joel's smile widens a little more when you reappear in the doorway a moment later, carrying a small plate with cookies and placing them on the small table in front of him, muttering “Maybe this stupid outfit has its upsides.”

He hands you your whiskey and you let your glass linger in the air for a few seconds, gently toasting with Joel before you take a few sips.

You're more than aware that the gaze Joel had earlier is back and he shamelessly lets his eyes roam over your body, taking in the way the outfit frames your curves just perfectly. He will never be caught saying it out loud but seeing what you'd wear as his helper if he were to agree to be Santa- it affected his decision more than a little bit.

“They were all really happy, you know? The kids,” you say gently, reaching for a cookie and eating it in one bite.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” Joel mumbles, softening a bit. It brought back memories of Christmas before the Outbreak for him as well. His gaze is still on you when he nudges your knee a little, “You didn't get your turn.”

A blush creeps up your cheeks, immediately catching up on what he is asking for, “I may be a littler younger than you but I'm not a child anymore.” Joel chuckles softly, taking another sip from his whiskey as he watches you, waiting.

His legs are slightly spread, his broad thighs catching your gaze and with a small sigh you give in, lowering yourself onto his left leg, “Fine.”

“Now, what would you like for Christmas?” Joel asks, his deep voice lower than it was before. You're still naive enough to think that that's all he's trying to do, possibly coax out some wish that he can fulfill for you. It's absolutely not what he’s trying to do.

“Let’s see- a new dress would be nice. Or some coffee,” you answer truthfully and Joel nods. His gaze is focused on his whiskey, the way he balances it on one and you on the other leg, “Anything else?”

You shake your head no as he puts his glass away and reaches for you instead, hand sneaking up your thigh like it had done earlier. A small breath of surprise leaves your throat as you feel his fingers inching over your skin, painfully slowly traveling into the direction of your core.

“And you've been a good girl this year, hm?” He mutters. You open your mouth to reply- when the tips of his fingers finally reach your crotch and despite the tights you're wearing being non-see-through, he knows your body well enough to find your favorite spot instantly. His finger flies over it, teasing you with a gentle, calculated touch and whatever answer you would've given turns into a whiny moan instead.

Joel smirks a little as he sees your body reacting and he uses his free hand to grope your breast, the thin fabric of your costume leaving practically nothing to the imagination.

Your own hands begin wandering as well, cupping his face before you realize he's still wearing that stupid fake beard. A little rougher than you intend, you rip it off. Joel doesn't mind. It only stings for a moment- until your lips are on his, pressing your tongue against his lips eagerly.

“Fuck, Joel-” you whisper when you come up for air, already out of breath. He just grunts slightly, the smirk returning to his face.

“Think you can be a good girl for me now?” He mumbles, focused on twisting your nipples through your shirt and you whimper, nodding at his question.

Maybe you’d make it to the bedroom for once, if you both weren’t so fucking impatient.

Joel is hard in his pants, the erection creating a more than visible bulge on the velvety, red fabric and you massage him gently, fingers ghosting over his cock as you clench down on nothing at the thought of having him fill you up.

The hand on your breast leaves to join the other one between your thighs and in one swift motion, Joel rips your tights apart, growling like an animal as he is met with the sight of your already dripping cunt.

“You're so wet already, darlin’,” he praises, sliding one finger through your folds, “Fucking killed me to see you in that skirt and not be able to do anything about it.”

Your hands almost automatically fly to his belt, your body already shaking with the need to feel him inside of you, to have him as close as he possibly can. Joel pushes his pants down with one hand, just far enough for him to pull his cock out.

He's already fully hard, an indication that he wasn't lying about the way he felt about your skirt. It only makes you more eager.

“Can I ride you?” You ask breathlessly, running your finger down his veiny cock and gently cupping his balls below.

“Fuck, you have to ask?” Joel mutters, chuckling a little at that. He helps you change your position so that you’re hovering above him, his hands placed firmly on your hips for support.

You both groan in unison as you lower yourself onto him, his dick sliding into you with little resistance. It's perfect. You can feel the way his skin brushes against yours inside of you, pushing itself further inside until you're fully seated.

“Taking me so well, darlin’,” Joel whispers, running his hands up and down your sides as he waits for you to adjust to the intrusion. It's a lot, he knows that much, but you've reassured him time and time again that it's the good kind of a lot.

His lips find your throat, nibbling softly on the skin he can reach, occasionally sucking on it and eliciting a few sharp gasps from you. You both simultaneously begin to move, finding a shared rhythm. You bouncing up and down while he moves below you, pistoning himself further into your depths.

“ ‘tis all I need for Christmas,” he breathes, pulling you down onto him with a little more force. “Just need this sweet pussy around my cock, squeezing me so goddamn tight-”

He knows you're already close by the way your muscles are becoming more tense with each thrust, the pleasure that's building in your stomach physically mirrored in them. There's a small sting on the back of his head as you carelessly push his Christmas hat off to bury your fingers in his hair and pull on it, matching his pace.

“Fuck, feels like it’s already Christmas-” You agree, your voice shaking with the way he’s fucking into you. Joel licks a stripe up your neck, “Gonna be a good girl now and come for me?”

Your answer turns into a drawn-out moan as you feel Joel hitting your cervix and a few moments later, you're clenching down on him like your life depends on it, muscles seemingly drawing his cock in further and further.

It feels delicious, the way your body so clearly wants him, wants the one thing that he can give you and Joel fucks you through your orgasm as he too feels himself tipping over the edge. Your walls are painted with ropes of white cum as he finishes inside of you, his arms wrapping themselves around your body to pull you in closer.

His head is buried in your chest as you both slowly come down from your high, your fingers and nose in his hair. He feels the way your breath goes fast on his skin, sighing softly, so content with the way you are so impossibly entangled.

“I love you.”

It's quiet, so quiet that you almost don't hear him. The pleasure that was in your stomach a few moments ago appears again, this time in your chest. You pull Joel a little closer, feeling him soften inside of you as you place a gentle kiss on his head.

“I love you too.”

notes: if you liked this, please consider leaving a little comment or reblogging, it makes me grin just like joel <3