#pauses during conversation taking longer

[kaninchen-reblogs]

Feeling the urge to play fallout 4 again but then I remember how there’s the memory leak I can’t seem to fix that makes it unplayable after 20-ish hours so I forlornly close nexus mods and walk away dejectedly

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

for whom good omens is being written

Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:

The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.

And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:

'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."

'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'

He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'

(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'

And, finally, this paragraph:

"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"

I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.

Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")

Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)

[logansdoll]

hammered

you get a little too turnt during girls night, and logan comes to your rescue.

CW: heavily suggestive, profanity, Logan's your white knight, Ororo's gettin lit, men are creeps, you're actually drunk as a skunk, etc.

"You guys got together?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Ororo gasped, loudly, sitting up straight in her seat.

Your brows furrowed, eyes widening at her volume, a few passing party-goers sharing concerned looks.

"Say it louder. I don't think the rest of the city heard you..." you grumbled, face burning as you took a sip from your strawberry daiquiri.

She sat next to you on the little leather couch situated at the back of the club near the bar, which had began to trickle with activity.

The three of you had been there for only about thirty minutes, the buzz of the night starting to pick up, the dance floor packed with dancers and drinks flowing.

And the eyes, still staring.

"Ignore her, (n/n)," Jean smiled, kindly, as she rested a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I think it's sweet you two took it at your own pace. It shows how serious you both are about this."

The three of you were having easy conversation, drinking and gabbing about whatever came to mind, when you and Logan were suddenly brought up.

And Ororo nearly died of shock when she found out you two were official.

"And speaking of seriousness... I believe we have an audience..."

Another group of three in particular, whose gazes were piercing you and your friends from across the way.

The three intense pairs of eyes belonged to three men in their best designer.

They each had their own outstanding feature: the tallest one sitting on the right had long, black hair, while the one on the left had arms roped in tattoos and lip piercings, the final one having a buzz cut and a snaggle-toothed smile.

Their lustful stares all but ignored by the two sitting next to you, your mind preoccupied with downing your second daiquiri that soon turned into a third.

You barely paid the men any mind, already knowing a man ten times hotter than all of them combined.

You actually missed him a whole damn lot.

You both were supposed to have a date night, but he got called last minute to round up Rogue and her friends who were causing havoc at some far off arcade.

So the girls dragged you out to the club, much to your protest.

'The kids just had to choose tonight of all nights...'

Ororo scoffed, gulping down another jell-O shot, "Waiting on him to come?" she chuckled, the flashing club lights making her light eyes sparkle.

You flushed in your mini dress, feeling hot despite the blasting AC and your exposed skin.

"You'll be waiting a while," she sighed, crossing her smooth legs over one another. "I heard Scott over the phone... those kids are in serious trouble."

You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed that he wasn't there, resting his hand at the small of your back, giving you those lustful stares on the dance floor, and complimenting your outfits in his own Logan way.

You'd done so much to make sure you looked hotter than hot, too.

You had raided your closet and pulled out a short, backless mini dress that made your legs look longer and showed off the curve of your spine sliding down towards your ass.

You loved, loved, loved it—how beautiful the black fabric looked against your skin; how sexy it made you feel.

Not to mention it was one of Logan's favorites.

He'd torn it off you many times.

Combined with your stiletto heels, fresh mani-pedi, the perfume adorning your wrists and the back of your knees, and hair that gracefully caressed your shoulders, you felt like a damn vixen.

Ororo sat up, taking your hand in hers, "No sense in sitting around while you wait, eh?"

She smirked at you, mischief in her eyes.

"Let's dance."

You paused a moment, hesitant.

But in that instant, those three daiquiris hit you like a truck, and all inhibitions went out the window.

'Fuck it.'

You stood up, chugging the last of your drink before taking her hand.

"Let's do it."

Famous last words.

Smoothly, you glided your fingers up your body, swaying your hips in rhythm with the beat as Ororo danced with one of the men.

You two had been dancing so well, you called the attention of the entire club. And with you about seven daiquiris in, it felt as if the music was coursing through your veins and melding with your bones.

The men of the establishment were hounding you both relentlessly—Jean having escaped to the bar to strike up some friendly conversation with the bartender—and even with your inebriated state, you fought them off vigorously, smacking away hands and returning advances with a sharp tongue.

Though the novelty was beginning to fade, and the urge to go home had began to set in.

As if on que, your phone began to buzz, taking your attention away from your thoughts.

"Hold up! I'm getting a call!" you laughed. "I'll be right back, 'Ro!"

She gave you a wink before you went stumbling off the dance floor, tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You decided to go to the nearest ladies' room, leaning against the wall where the long line started, before flipping open your phone.

You looked down at the caller ID, grinning to see the name of your favorite guy on the screen.

"Heyyyy, Logan," you sang into the phone with a drunk giggle.

"There you are," Logan let out a sigh of relief from the other side of the phone. "I've been tryin' to reach ya. I just finished roundin' up the kids and droppin' 'em off back home, so I'm free for the rest of the night if ya still wanna go out."

"Oh!" you chuckled, "Sorry!"

As you paused, Logan suddenly became confused.

"Where the hell are you? It's so loud, I can barely hear ya."

You placed one foot up on the wall, leaning your back flush against the cool tiles. "'Roro 'n' Jean took me to the club 'n' these guys tried to join us," you slurred. "Oh, they bought us drinks, too. And one said he liked my dress. He wasn't as good looking as you."

"You wearin' the backless one?" he asked, sounding intrigued.

You giggled giddily in response, finding humor in his quiet curse.

"Damn... ya had to pull that one out?"

"Oh, you should see me, Logan... I look gooood," you smiled, looking down at yourself. "But it's not the same... s'not as fun without you."

You lowered your foot back down to the ground and crossed your arm over your midsection, suddenly feeling cold and small.

"I miss you, Logan," you said, quietly. "Could you pick me up, please?"

His chest warmed at your tone, unable to fight the smirk on his face.

Despite the fact that you were absolutely sloshed, your mind still drifted to him, and even missed him when he was away.

It was adorable.

"Sure, sweetheart. Where are—?" "Wait!" you shrieked, a smile blooming on your face as you got quiet.

Logan cocked a brow.

'Huh?'

It was your favorite song.

"Logan! It's my song! I'll be right back!" you smile into the phone before hanging up, scrambling back to Ororo.

When you shimmeyed back onto the dance floor, she happily greeted you, moving in sync with the rhythm as you began your own moves.

"Oooo, what's that?" you asked, pointing at the glass she was holding.

It was orange and topped with ice and chopped oranges and strawberries, reminding you of a tequila sunrise.

"Want it?" she giggled, holding it out for you to take.

Which you gladly did, tossing it back lie it was water, humming approvingly at the taste as you licked the remnants off your lips.

The two men next to her were close to falling out from the scene.

"Fuck," one of them groaned. "Can you do that to me?"

You turned to them, brows furrowed. "Fuck off. My guy's gonna be here anyyyyy second."

Ororo gasped as she threw an arm around you, pulling you close to her perfume-soaked neck, "He's coming? That's great!"

You both cheered together, throwing your hands in the air as you continued to dance.

"C'mon," a man smirked from behind you. "What's he doing leaving a pretty lil' thing like you alone?"

Your face fell, expression annoyed as you turned to him, "Didn't I tell you to go somewhere? He's gonna show up sooon..."

The man had gotten closer, so close that you could see him lick his lips, expectantly.

He scoffed, leering down at you under the strobe lights, "But he ain't here, is he?"

"I wouldn't put money on it, bub," Logan replied from behind him.

Your eyes lit up like stars as soon as you laid eyes on your dark, handsome bodyguard.

He stood there behind the man with his thick, leather-clad arms crossed over his broad chest, which was covered by his white tee.

And he looked less than pleased.

"Logan!" you smiled, moving to stand by his side like a magnet.

The man turned to face him, watching as Logan snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

"This is the boyfriend?" he laughed, amused.

His words hardened Logan's expression tenfold, and it took everything in you not to giggle.

"Yeah, I am. And why the fuck are you still here?"

His words forced the man's expression to meld into one of frustration, and you bit back an amused smile at the sight.

You were drunk out of your mind, but you knew better than to interfere.

The man swallowed thickly, "I was just—"

"Harrassin' my woman."

You felt your heart flutter at the nickname.

He'd been calling you that for a while, but somehow it always felt like the first time.

"I didn't know she was yours—"

In a flash, his Logan's fist was up, his claws were on display and right in front of the man's face, scaring the shit out of him.

"I don't like repeating myself," he spat, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Fuck. Off."

You both watched the man scatter, eyes wide as he scrambled toward the bar.

Damn.

'What a bitch...'

"You alright?" Logan asked, taking off his leather jacket as he glared around the room, taking notice of the other leering men on the dance floor. "This place is full of fuckin' sleazeballs."

You shrugged, running a hand through your hair, "Eh, I managed."

Wordless, he handed over his jacket, your nose wrinkled in confusion.

"What's that for?"

"You're shivering, (n/n)."

You looked down at yourself, realizing that you were, indeed, shivering.

"Oh."

"C'mon," he sighed, draping the jacket over your shoulders before resting his hand at the small of your back, steering you toward the exit. "I think that's enough fun for one night."

Glancing back at Ororo, he gave a small look, slightly concerned.

"Scott's on his way for you two... You gonna be good?"

"Tipsy, but okay!" she gave him a thumbs up, along with a little wink. "Have fun, you two!"

He ignored the innuendo, but nodded, going back to ushering you out the back door.

"I missed you, Logan," you confessed, a slight whine to your voice as you practically clung to him.

"I know you did, sweetheart," he sighed, approaching one of Cyclops' cars. "Let's get you home."

The moment you hung up the phone, he sped over to the club, breaking about fifteen different traffic laws in the process.

An annoyance he decided to deal with the next day.

Without warning, you grabbed him, shoving him up against a wall of the alley you were in, interlocking your fingers as your free hand traced mindless shapes in his chest.

"You look so good, Logan," you purred, eyeing him up and down with hungry eyes, heating him from the inside out. "So good."

Suddenly, your lips attached to his neck, lazily peppering the flesh with kisses and pecks, with the occasional nip.

"(n/n)... you're drunk," Logan stated, moreso for himself, as he weakly tried to pry you off.

"I'd do this anyway," you grinned into his skin, pulling back to look at him, gaze half-lidded. "You look so sexy..."

Slowly, your lips curled into a hazy, loving smile, your eyes staring up at him like he was the only thing in the world.

Fuck...

You'd think he was about to go into cardiac arrest.

'This woman's gonna be the death of me...'

"What's wrong?" you asked, lips pouty and eyes glassy as you looked up at him, your expression one of hurt. "You're not touching me..."

"Doll," he sighed, voice slightly strained. "As gorgeous as you look... and as much as I wanna pin you against this wall... you're fuckin' hammered. And I'd like to feel you up when you actually know what yer doin'."

He pulled back to see your reaction, only to find you were already out like a light, softly snoring and drooling all over his shirt.

A soft smile fell onto his lips at the adorable sight, the man brushing some of your hair out your face before scooping you up in his arms, pressing a long kiss on your forehead.

'Somethin' else...'

[icaruspendragon]

something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.

“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.

“i don’t.” i simply respond.

“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.

“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.

“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.

“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.

“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.

“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”

“we don’t understand.” they say.

“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”

“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.

“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”

they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.

[withahappyrefrain]

Ruin the Friendship- Bob Floyd

Warnings: Best friends to lovers trope, it’s so obvious they love each other they’re stupid, language, filth, some angst (why not?), unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), Bob being pussy drunk.

Summary: The night before Bob leaves for Boot Camp, he's learned no one has gone down on his best friend. He's determined to fix that.

Words: 4.8K

This is for @attapullman's Bob Fucks celebration!

When you've been friends with someone since preschool, you get to know them like the back of your hand. Certain quirks and sayings that no longer surprise you. 

“God, I wish that were me.”

It wasn't the first time Bob heard you say that. Usually there was a cute dog around, or a sushi boat being delivered at a restaurant when you said it. 

But saying it during an oral sex scene in a movie was new. 

It also brought up many questions. 

Questions Bob shouldn't ask, considering he's known you since preschool. Questions Bob couldn't ask right now, because he was too preoccupied looking at you. 

Your eyes were fixated on the screen, focused on the actress withering. Occasionally, they would dart to the other actor who was between the actress’ thighs. Bob noticed the increased rise and fall of your chest, how your front teeth dug into your bottom lip, how when you lean forward, the v-line cut of your shirt showed off the tops of your breasts. The soft glow of the lamps highlighted the beautiful features on your face. 

All things he shouldn’t be noticing about his best friend. But then again, best friends shouldn’t be watching a French film together whose plot line focused on sexual liberation before he went off to Navy boot camp. 

Granted, you and Bob haven’t had a conventional best friend relationship in a while, if at all, considering both sets of parents claimed you two promised to marry each other at the age of four. 

Promises or not, best friends shouldn’t be one another’s first kiss. Or make out practice partners. Or each other’s New Year's kiss when y'all were single. Or spend Valentine's Day together at the local dinner. 

The line between friends and something more was blurry, saved by a comment that ensured the other to think that the feelings that had been brewing weren't reciprocated. 

“You’re a good kisser. Kelsey McCoy is going to think so too.”

“If Tommy Delaine doesn't like you, he's a dumbass.” 

“I’m sure next year you’ll have someone.”

“If I had to spend it with anyone, I want it to be with my best friend.”

“You’re an amazing friend, you know that?”

Why say that if you harbor romantic feelings? Surely, all those kisses and talk of marriage meant nothing to them. 

At least that's what the other thought. 

It's because of this blurry line that Bob doesn't bite his tongue, doesn't throw away the comment to be forgotten. Instead, he speaks up. 

“Been awhile?” 

And because it's Bob, the guy you've known your whole life, the guy you tell everything to, your response rolls off your tongue without a second thought. 

“Try never.” 

It takes Bob a moment to process your words as the way your lips wrap around the beer bottle is far too distracting. But just like processing a car accident, once it registers, your words bring his brain to a screeching halt. 

“Wait, never?” The shrug you give isn’t satisfactory. He grabs the remote to pause the movie, ignoring your cries of protest. 

“Real talk; are you saying that no one has ever gone down on you?” 

You sigh, regretting saying anything in the first place. One would think that after years of friendship, you’d know well enough that once Bob set his mind to something, he wouldn't relent until satisfied. 

You down the remnants of your beer, mentally preparing for this conversation. 

“No Robby. I've never had someone eat me out. Happy now?” Reaching for the remote was all in vain, as he just held it further away from you. 

Darn those long limbs. 

“But you've been with people…..so what did they do?” When you looked at him, there was no malice, just Bob looking genuinely baffled. His gentle blue eyes put you at ease, giving you the comfort to explain. 

“They would touch me,” you motioned to the lower half of your body, “And like finger me. Enough to get me ready, I guess.” 

Bob raised an eyebrow, “You guess?” 

College was supposed to be a time for you to explore, to figure yourself out, to interact with new people. 

And yet, when it came to the relationship aspect, everything had fizzled. You were now going into your junior year having yet to experience a meaningful romantic relationship. 

Did you just have shit luck? Or was it because your mind would wander back to a bespectacled best friend when you were in bed with someone else? 

“So instead of eating you out, which would actually be enjoyable on your end, you're telling me they just stuck their hand down there and hoped they were rubbing your clit? You didn't ever ask them to do something else?” 

Bob didn't have the pristine mouth that parents thought he possessed. You knew, and had known for a while. And yet, hearing him say the phrase your clit in his deep, slightly twangy voice felt different. 

You rubbed your thighs together. 

“Are you shaming the people I've been with or me?” 

Bob closed the difference between you and him on the couch, placing a hand on your bare knee. 

Have his hands always been so big and veiny? 

Fuck, did you have a thing for hands? 

“I'm not shaming you. I’m shaming the people you've been with because well,” he ran a hand up and down the back of his neck, “Well, I enjoy giving….I like doing it. So I guess I'm surprised other people don't?” 

His statement was shocking because everyone else you had been with viewed it as a chore, as something to use every excuse in the book to avoid doing. 

Too tired. Takes too long. Wet enough so what's the point? 

“You…like doing it?” 

The tops of his cheeks reddened, despite a smirk beginning to form, “Yeah. I like giving and I like making them feel good. It's also a confidence booster, being able to make someone fall apart with your mouth.” 

It shouldn't come as a surprise, it was Bob after all. The same Bob who always brought an extra pencil with him to algebra, in case you forgot yours. The same Bob who shared his Dunkaroos because your mom refused to buy them. The same Bob who made his dream of serving his country finally come true after years of hard work. 

He was selfless. But this didn't feel like selflessness. Hearing him talk about giving pleasure, making someone fall apart with his mouth, was different. Even his voice when he said it was different, raspier than usual. 

“Well,” you scooted closer to the edge of the couch, trying to widen the gap so he couldn't feel how hot your body was, “I can't wait ‘til I meet someone who feels the same way.” 

“You don't have to wait.” 

The grip on your beer bottle tightened, the alcohol getting caught in your throat. There's no way he could have just said that, no way he could be implying what you're thinking. 

But when you look at Bob, he was staring back with raised eyebrows and thin lips curled into a little smirk. The same look he’s given you countless times before when he mumbles a smartass comment only your ears were privy to hear. 

You heard me. 

“What-are you…” You stared at him, mouth agape. Bob appeared unphase by it, like he had just offered something totally normal and rational. 

Perhaps it was the three beers he had downed. Perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline kicking in after realizing this was his last chance at making a move before he left. 

“Wouldn't that be like crossing a line?” Your head was racing, alternating between flashbacks of when you kissed Bob and imagining what it would be like to have his mouth on your body. 

“Wouldn't be much different from what we’ve already done.” 

All the air was sucked out of the room by his comment. Because of course he wasn't doing this because he wanted to, because he wanted you. This would be meaningless, just like everything else. If you went through with this, you’d wake up the next day to Bob leaving with nothing changed, still in this seemingly endless limbo. 

Long, nimble fingers hooked themselves under your chin, gently forcing you to look up. 

The look he gave you was unfamiliar. His eyes remained focused on your face, though it seemed like they were searching. 

For what, you couldn't tell. 

After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Do you want it to be different?” 

What good was telling him if he didn’t feel the same way, thus ruining a great friendship?

“Do you want it to be different Robby?” You countered back. 

He leaned in, his breath hot on your face, “I asked you first.”

He thought he had the upper hand. But you were like a lightning bug, faster.  

“I asked you second, Robby.”

Like a rubber band, the tension snapped as Bob was unable to hold back a snort of laughter. The tension left your shoulders, the sight of him laughing familiar and safe. 

“I’m going to really miss your resounding maturity,” Bob deadpanned after gaining the ability to compose himself, though a sweet crooked smile remained. 

It was now your turn to roll your eyes, though it didn’t stop the smile currently forming on your face. Seeing this side of Bob was always fun; most folks thought he was quiet and meek. The truth was that he liked to observe and didn’t find value in speaking when it wasn’t necessary. He didn’t hold back with you, didn’t feel the need to sit and observe. He truly conversed with you and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel special. 

He was never that way with the other girls he dated. 

“You love me,” you teased back. It was a comment you've said countless times, always with that sweet, albeit mischievous smile that made Bob's heart flutter. 

But this time instead of shaking his head or rolling his eyes, he leaned forward until your foreheads were touching. 

Seeing him up close took your breath away. You could see how his roots were beginning to darken, the blonde fading as he got older. The little scar on his chin from a BB Gun incident when he was ten. Eyes bluer than the ocean. The ends of his hair were beginning to curl, something you'd greatly miss when he'd get the military mandated buzz cut. 

“Yeah, I do.” There was no teasing in his voice. No mischief in his eyes. Instead of playfully shaking your shoulder, his hand found its way to the back of your neck, fingers cupping your warm skin. He was moving quickly, making you unable to truly process what he had just said. 

Despite it being new territory, he was handling it beautifully. You, on the other hand, were torn between wondering if your increased heart beat was medically concerning and how large Bob’s hands were. 

“You gotta….if you want to stop, tell me,” His breathing had increased, like it did when he had finished his part in the marching band. But this wasn’t marching band practice and y’all weren’t on the high school field. You were in your parents’ basement, with Bob’s lips quickly closing the gap between yours and his. 

It wasn’t your first time kissing Bob, but it might as well have been. Years of experience had given him more confidence. He knew where to put his hands now, one still on your neck to guide you, the other gripping the soft flesh of your hip. He didn’t hesitate to slide his tongue across your bottom lip, successfully driving you wild. 

When the rounded tip of his nose brushed against yours, a soft laugh escaped your lips. Bob didn’t mind, using the chance to let his tongue explore your mouth. Your body leaned towards him, hands gripping the soft fabric of his old Warped Tour T-shirt. 

“I thought you,” your words were slurred, a weak moan interrupting your speech due to his lips moving down to your neck, “Thought you were gonna eat me out.” 

Bob’s moan vibrated against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. His hands traveled to your breasts, gripping them through your T-shirt. It wasn't a hard squeeze, which is what you were used to. 

It was pleasurable. Bob was pleasurable. 

“Did none of the guys you were with do foreplay?” He asked, his hands continuing their ministrations. 

“I-fuck- yes they did, it just never took this long,” you grunted against his lips. 

“God, you have terrible taste in men.”

You wanted to let Bob know that he was now included in that group. But then his fingers hooked themselves around the band of your shorts, pulling them down. Had you known what tonight would entail, you would have opted for underwear that wasn't so worn. The long hairs on his arms tickled your sensitive skin as he moved to kneel on the floor, the cool basement air making you realize just how wet you were. 

How could he do that so quickly? 

He pinned your hips against the soft couch cushions. With anyone else, you would complain with how hard he was gripping your soft skin. But with Bob, you’d love it. It meant hand-shaped bruises that would stay after he left, reminding you of tonight. 

When his sharp nose nudged your clothed slit, a loud gasp erupted from your mouth. 

Thank god your parents were on vacation. 

His tongue was so wide as it stroked the quickly dampening fabric. How was he able to find your clit so quickly? Most struggled to find it even after your panties had been taken off. 

Bob couldn’t help but chuckle upon hearing your strained whimpers. You were practically squirming, hips erratically jerking with every touch. 

“Wha-why did you stop?” You whined, looking down to find him staring up to you. 

“Are you-I just need to know, do you still want this?” God, he was so fucking considerate. In any other moment, you’d find it endearingly sweet. 

But if his tongue felt that good against your covered cunt, you were dying to feel it without the barrier. 

“Robby, I swear to god, if you don’t eat me out, I’m going upstairs and using my vibrator,” Your voice was strained, your knuckles turning white from gripping the couch cushions.  

He laughed.  Bob knew you were bluffing. He had just gotten started and you were already so wet. 

Slowly, he took his glasses off, placing them on the coffee table behind him, making a show of it. 

“Won’t need those. I’m nearsighted after all.”

“You little-” The insult remained unsaid, as Bob pushed your underwear to the side, his mouth instantly latching onto your swollen clit. 

His mouth was warm. The pressure wasn’t too much, just enough to make you wither in pleasure. It felt so good, so fucking good. When Bob looked up, he found your mouth open, despite no sounds coming out. 

Good. 

You deserved to know what it was like, to have someone care about your pleasure, to focus solely on making you feel incredible. 

God, he could feel his cock throbbed. You looked so pretty with your eyes glazed over, mouth agape as you watched him, completely enthralled. 

And he had just gotten started. 

He wanted to do more than make you come, he wanted to blow your mind. Call it selfish, but Bob wanted to ruin you for anyone else. He had always held back his tongue when it came to the people you dated, knowing sooner or later you'd realized they weren't worth your time. 

But now he had his chance and Bob sure as hell wasn't going to let it slip away. 

The loud sound of fabric ripping broke you out of the pleasure filled haze you were in. Before you could make a sound about your now ripped underwear, your knees were pinned to your chest, giving Bob complete access to your soaked core.

“So fucking sweet,” He groaned against your cunt, sending vibrations all through your body, “Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.” 

“Robby.” 

To say Bob dreamed of hearing you moan his name would be the understatement of the fucking century. 

Your whole body was on fire, unable to do anything else but take everything Bob was giving. 

A resounding moan fell from your lips as Bob thrusted two fingers inside you, your walls struggling to accommodate the unexpected stretch. 

Was he this thick elsewhere?

You wanted to find out. Wanted to feel it inside you, in your mouth. You shamelessly wanted it all. But you couldn’t even voice that because Bob was tracing figure eights on your clit, his fingers brushing against a spot you thought Cosmo had made up. 

Fuck, he was doing a number on you. His soft hair threaded through your fingers as you gripped the strands. Your hips involuntarily jerked upwards, desperate to get as much of Bob as possible. 

You kept expecting him to stop, considering you were wet enough for him to fuck you. That's what everyone else did. 

But Bob Floyd wasn't like everyone else. Far from it. 

He was fucking delighted to hear all the cute, strained noises coming from you as he continued.  Each time you tugged on his hair, a groan would fall from his lips. It was the prettiest sound you had ever heard. 

Why did either of you wait this long? 

You tried to communicate, to let him know you were close, tugging on his hair, trying to move away from his mouth. 

But Bob was deceivingly strong, using his free hand to pin your hip back to the couch, his mouth firmly on your pussy. 

When you looked down, you were in awe of how blissed Bob looked. His eyes were closed as his mouth remained latched to your clit. The sounds of your own wetness were obscene, but barely audible over the moans Bob was letting out. 

He really did enjoy it.

“Come. Wanna taste ya,” His voice was muffled as he added a third finger inside you. 

Worried thoughts of coming on his face left your brain as pleasure coursed through your veins. Without any warning, the band that had been tightening came undone.

Bob used both hands to hold your hips firmly in place, his tongue lapping up your release. 

You don't recall coming this hard or this long before. It wasn't a small wave, it felt like the whole damn ocean was taking you under. 

His fingers continued to stretch you open, prolonging your high. The Navy was the perfect fit for him, considering he could apparently hold his breath for an impressive amount of time. 

The soft fabric of the couch cushions brushed as the back of your head, your eyes half closed. You couldn't even voice an acknowledge when Bob’s mouth and fingers withdrew from your abused cunt. 

“You're so pretty when you come,” Bob murmured, his lips brushing against yours. 

Your hands tugged on the soft fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. 

“M-my turn,” you whined, hips jerking up towards his. 

Bob shook his head, “Wanna be inside ya.” 

How was this the same guy who feared clowns as a kid? 

Before you could even question it, Bob had sat down on the couch, gripping your hips to help you straddle his lap. When had he taken off his jeans? How was he so quick- 

Jesus Christ, he was huge. 

“Fuck, she was right.” 

Bob looked up from where you two were about to connect, a very confused look on his face, “Excuse me?” 

“Betsey Thomas said you had a huge dick,” you confessed, wishing that you'd think before speaking for once. 

Bob’s brows knitted together in confusion, “Betsey Thomas has never seen my dick, the fuck are you talking about?” 

“Said she could tell you were packing because of the gym shorts you'd wear for PE class.” Bob signed, shaking his head as he muttered something about the required uniform. 

“I….we can unpack this later-” 

You snorted, “Why? Too busy packing here?” 

Your laughter was cut short by Bob rubbing his cock against your soaked cunt. Memories of high school escaped your brain, the only thing you could focus on now was Bob and his huge dick. 

Curious wasn't accurate. Frankly, you were desperate for him. Had been since middle school, if you were being truthful. 

“Woah, hey. Easy baby, easy,” his voice made your thighs clench, made you whine into his shoulder as you tried to line your aching hole with his cock. 

Finally, you felt him at your entrance. Slowly, he filled you up inch by inch. Every time you tried to urge him to go faster, Bob would simply shake his head before pressing a kiss against your cheek. 

“Don't want to hurt ya darlin’.” 

Darlin. You were his darlin. 

He made you feel so full, and you didn't even have it all inside of you yet. All you could do was cling to him as he whispered praises in your ears. 

Once you reached the base, it felt like you and Bob were the only ones in the world. At least, that’s what you pretended. It was better than thinking about how he would be gone for who knows how long after tonight. After boot camp was done, he would be off to train for the Navy. 

Even he didn't know when he would return home. 

It wasn't fair, finally expressing your feelings for one another just to be separated immediately after. You wanted him to stay, to go on dates with him, to visit him on the weekends when school started, just like everyone else in a long distance relationship. 

“Hey, what's wrong? Do you- we can stop if you want, it's okay.” Bob’s voice was soft, full of concern. 

His hand lifted your chin up from his shoulder, revealing your watery eyes. 

“I don't want you to go.” 

“I know,” his voice was barely a whisper, matching your volume. Long fingers gently traced over your face, as if he was trying to memorize them. 

“I know it's horrible timing, but we'll figure it out, okay? I want to figure it out with you, I promise,” He peppered your face with soft kisses, earning a small smile out of you. 

“But for now, can I make ya feel good? Because I'm willing to bet no guy has made you come while fucking ya.” 

Unlike in the past, where Bob’s smartass comments earned him a shove, you pressed your lips against his. 

“I'm gonna start moving now, okay?” Even though he warned you, nothing could have prepared you for how full Bob made you when his hips thrusted upwards. 

“You're-fuck- you feel so good, oh my God.” 

Your fingers tangled into Bob’s hair, trying to commit the feeling to memory. 

Bob was trying to do the same, his hands roaming over your body as he took in your scent. Maybe if he asked nicely, you'd let him take a bottle of your perfume with him. 

He was going to need it for the next few months. 

Your mouth clashed against his, tongue desperate to taste him. Wandering hands desperate to feel everything everywhere. 

“When-fuck- when I come back, wanna take you out. W-we can go to that Italian place by your school. The one where you have to wear a tie.” How Bob was able to talk coherently while fucking you was beyond comprehension. 

The Navy will be lucky to have his great ability to multitask. 

“Gonna bring ya flowers too. Sunflowers ‘cause they're-oh my god- you're favorite.” You didn't think you could recall your full name with the way Bob is thrusting into you, much less favorite things. 

Your walls clench around Bob’s thick cock, eliciting a desperate groan from him, rather than the instant ejaculation you were used to. 

“If you keep doing that, I'm gonna come,” Bob whined into the crook of your neck.

“That’s-shit- the point,” you grunted, your hips picking up speed. 

Bob shook his head, “Need you to come first.” 

Confusion caused you to still your hips, “Bob, I already-” 

“Don't finish that sentence, don't you dare,” Bob ended his command with a strong thrust that made you feel as if he was splitting you open on his cock. 

Your head dropped down to the crook of his neck. His skin was so warm and the smell of sage was nearly overwhelming. You knew exactly what body wash he had used, as it was the same one he wore ever since junior year, when you commented on how nice it was. 

In hindsight, it was painfully obvious. 

His lips found yours, capturing them in a desperate kiss. When you felt his fingers draw circles on your clit, you saw stars. 

You didn't know it could feel this good with someone. This was more than a quick fuck, as you actually felt cared for. It was intense, the sensitivity of your first orgasm still echoing every time the thick head of his cock brushed against your walls. 

It's audible how wet you are for Bob. He can feel it at the base of his cock, which makes him wonder what it would be like to have you on your knees, or better, your back, all spread out for him. 

“C’mon sweet girl,” he’s panting, voice desperate and raspy, “Wanna-fuck! Wanna feel you come s’bad, please, please baby.” 

Each circle drawn on your clit causes the band in your stomach to tighten. Combined with Bob’s words, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. 

“You're incredible, shit, I-fuck. All yours. Wanna be all yours. Fuck fuck fuck, clenching me so hard, fuck, don't stop.” Obscene was not a word many, if any, would use to describe Bob Floyd. 

Up until thirty minutes ago, you would have considered yourself part of that group. 

But now? Now you were falling apart on his cock. The rush of pleasure had hit like a brick, coursing through your veins. It hit harder than anything else, harder than the now banned alcohol caffeine combo drink, or any controlled substance doctors had prescribed to help you focus. 

His finger-fuck, usually you had to use two of your own- didn’t stop rubbing your clit, nor does he stop thrusting in and out of your pulsing cunt. It's almost as if-no, you know Bob’s enjoying making you feel euphoria. 

That's what blows your mind. His laser focus on your pleasure, rather than his own. Truthfully, he could have come already and you wouldn't have thought twice about it. 

But now it was all you could think about. How much he cared, how good he felt. How incredible it was for him to pull your hips flushed against his, filling you to the brim with his cock. 

“Holy shit you're so tight-I, sh-should I pull out?” 

Instead of answering, you used all your strength to rock your hips against him. Considering he made you come twice, the least you could do was help him find his release. 

Your fingers gripped his hair, tugging on the strands as your mouth clashed against his. 

The downright guttural groan he releases against your mouth has you clamping down on his cock. The motion finally leads to Bob’s undoing, causing him to come deep inside you, warmth flooding your body. 

His arms are wrapped around your body, clinging onto you as if he thinks you'll disappear if he lets go. 

You’d be a damn fool to. 

The basement is now quiet, apart from the heavy breathing coming from both you and Bob. 

After several minutes pass by, you gather the courage to break the silence, “Did you mean all that? Taking me out on a date and being mine?” 

Bob’s cheek burned a bright red as he timidly nodded his head, “I….yeah. I didn't mean to say it when we were, you know. I'm sorry.” 

You pressed a reassuring kiss to his warm cheek, “Robby, what do you feel the need to apologize for?” 

He looked up to you, those earnest blue eyes sparkling, “Shit timing?” 

“You're not wrong about that, but like you said earlier, I want to work it out with you.” Your words brought comfort, giving Bob the confidence to place a sweet kiss right on your lips. His smile was burning into yours, causing your stomach to flutter. 

“I know it's not that Italian restaurant, but can I take you out to breakfast tomorrow?” 

The local diner had been a go-to since y'all were thirteen. But this time would be different. This time you wouldn't feel the urge to look away when he caught you staring. This time neither one would correct the waitress when she'd make a comment about y'all being a cute couple. 

The soft call of your name pulled you out of your thoughts. 

“Uh can I….eat you out again? Tomorrow obviously! Like before we go to the diner?” 

Good Lord this man was going to be the death of you.

---------------------------------------------------------

@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @attapullman @ryebecca @sio-ina-bottle @rhettabbotts @callsignspark @roosterforme @lewmagoo @hangmanapologist @justabovewater20 @theharddeck @cumholland @bobfloydsbabe @sometimesanalice @heartfairy @auroralightsthesky

[crishayle]

Uranus in the houses

Disclaimer.Here I describe only one specific placement, always take into account all your other placements when reading your natal chart, because they can have a greater influence on you than Uranus (in this case)

Uranus in the 1st house:

1.There may be rebel traits in a person's character. He can be straightforward, honest, and sharp-tongued. He will say what others are afraid to say. They are cardinal and categorical in their thoughts.

2.They are really kind. These are people who can help not only their loved ones, but also strangers. They do not tolerate injustice, rudeness and arrogance.

3.Most often they are of medium height, less often tall. Their eyes stand out very much in their appearance, there may be unruly or curly hair (or wavy)

4.They are brave. I will not say that they are not afraid of anything. They can talk about their fears and problems, but they can really pull themselves together and be courageous at the right moment

5.Personally, it seems to me that they are a little nervous and restless. It's just that they literally don't stand still during times of stress. They twitch their legs, bite their nails or pencils, bite their lips or cheeks. If something has offended them, then this thought will torment them for a long time

Uranus in the 2nd house:

1.It's hard for such people to save money. It's as if their money should always move (be spent or invested). At the same time, they damn always find money! They don't have a rainy day stash, but they manage without it

2.A person has a strong, rather restless energy. I wouldn't say it's crazy energy, but people feel this rush when they communicate with you

3.I noticed that such people can see beauty in chaos. For example, they may like disheveled hair, wrinkled or faded clothes. I'm not saying that they are dirty, but negligence plays the role of charm for them. They may have chaos in their bag, makeup bag, closet, etc. They are used to chaos, for them this is the most convenient storage system :)

4.He takes care of the equipment, it can be stored in good condition longer than other people

5.Most often they choose an unusual job. For example, it requires great endurance, dexterity or patience. They don't really like the 5/2 schedule (but consider your 6th house and Mercury)

Uranus in the 3rd house:

1.Personally, it seems to me that they have strange but funny jokes. I can't say that all people laugh at their jokes, but people with placements in Sagittarius/Gemini/Aquarius will be on the same vibe with them

2.They can make long pauses in their speech or quickly change the topic of conversation. They are good conversationalists, because they can discuss anything

3.They don't like big texts, lectures, or a huge amount of information. They prefer concise and more specific texts. I noticed that they choose books and movies very carefully so that watching or reading is really interesting.They may also dislike long films. My friends with Uranium in the 3rd house recently fell asleep on a 3-hour movie. Well, sleep is useful

4.Most often there are problems with concentration. Such people can solve very difficult tasks, but blunt on the easiest ones

5.They are quite independent in terms of learning. Their brains are practical, creative, and NON-STANDARD. Sometimes I'm really shocked by what they can come up with. Scary and cool lol

Uranus in the 4th house:

1.They may not look like their parents, or they may look like distant relatives (but you need to consider whether you have aspects of the sun/moon to the ascendant)

2.Strange relationship with parents. They're not bad, but they're not that close either. Or it can be like a roller coaster, from love to hate(but I would recommend considering your moon as well)

3.Independent and matured early. Their minds are much older than their bodies. A person is not used to listening to advice, likes to make decisions on his own and does not tolerate control

4.Not always, but this is one of the signs of a single-parent family or a person's childhood could have been spent with grandparents

5.There is one caveat. Such a person may be inclined to take too much responsibility and control. Literally bring himself to panic and a state of emptiness when he is not able to help even himself

Uranus in the 5th house:

1.One of the indicators of attractive appearance. You may feel the stares and attention of strangers. There is something memorable about their appearance

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate an unwillingness to have children, or a late pregnancy. Sometimes it also indicates problems with the reproductive system (but you need to take into account the 8th house)

3.This is a person around whom there is always some kind of drama and adventure. I do not know how it happens, but there is always something interesting going on around them, even if they do not want to

4.Girls, if you see a man with Uranus in the 5th house with a bunch of squares/oppositions (ESPECIALLY TO THE MOON), run and don't look back. It's not worth it. They are not suitable for serious relationships, especially for family ones

5.A person who has his own style of clothing or image. They like to focus on details and accessories. They try not to wear the same look every day

Uranus in the 6th house:

1.An unpunctual person. He may often be late or not come to work/study/meeting. A flexible work schedule is more suitable for him

2.If they have inspiration and motivation, then they can complete 1000 tasks in a day, but if they are not in the mood, then they will not do anything. They are literally mood people. I wouldn't say it's always a bad thing. This situation is often found among writers and creative people.

3.Their main advantage is physical endurance. I will not say that they are jocks, but their body can withstand a load that will break any other person. They may not sleep/eat/work/walk longer than ordinary people

4.Such a person may have special esoteric rituals, for example, to attract good luck or money. They also notice the signs of fate well

5.They also don't like talking to someone not on the same level. Status, salary, gender, etc. are not important to them, they will communicate with you like with everyone else

Uranus in the 7th house:

1.Well, there is 100,000% something unusual in the sphere of human love. There are long-distance relationships and a long 10-year relationship without marriage and a relationship with a friend and a divorce and a strange acquaintance with the second half and an annoying ex. It can be anything but a normal relationship

2.A person may avoid romance and love (but consider your Venus). A person prefers to be loved rather than loving someone

3.Such people like emotionally sensitive people. Only people with stressful aspects of Uranus can choose people with mental problems. They may think that their partner is a mysterious and interesting person, but he just has depression or social phobia

4.With the harmonious aspects of Uranus, such a person values his independence in relationships. He clearly defends personal boundaries, while respecting his soulmate. He can immediately break off a relationship if he understands that they are harmful to him

5.Such a person knows how to find an approach to anyone. His circle of friends may consist of completely different and dissimilar people

Uranus in the 8th house:

1.Such a person had a case when he had an accident/was severely electrocuted or burned/was in a fire, etc. Simply put, there was a case when he miraculously survived

2.He understands other people well. Literally can feel other people's emotions. He's good at spotting lies.This is from the indicators of a psychologist/tarologist/astrologer

3.VERY GOOD INTUITION!!!!!

4.Such a person has few close people. He may seem distrustful and cold from the outside. His friends are being tested by time

5.To be honest, people in this position always make an impression after a conversation. Their life experience and worldview are so interesting and unique that their advice can be really useful. I'm not joking or exaggerating.Imagine,even I(Capricorn)listen to their advice

Uranus in the 9th house:

1.This person is like an eternally half-empty vessel. No matter how much knowledge and experience he receives, it is always not enough for him. They are not stubborn in their opinion and can really look at the situation in 360 degrees

2.In combination with a strong Mercury, it may indicate moving to another country or learning another language to the level of a native speaker

3.These are the very people who jump from topic to topic in conversation and forget what they were talking about. Their attention is chaotic, so they can reread the same page a thousand times because they are thinking about something

4.Moral issues are often raised in conversation. They can often discuss justice, honesty and mercy. In general, they believe in humanity and they are really kind

5.They are very harsh and rude when they notice disrespect or lies in their direction. Even if they are silent, they will make such a face that you will blush with shame. They clearly set their personal boundaries

Uranus in the 10th house:

1.Good logical thinking and imagination. It is often found among workers in the field of IT, engineering,design

2.Such people almost always rise rapidly through the career ladder and professional development. They really strive to be a master of their craft, they are considered an authority and are asked to teach beginners

3.By the way, good teaching skills. Such a person can explain very complex things in understandable language.

4.They try to live by the principle of let everything go as it should. They strive to make the most of what they can and try not to worry about problems that are beyond their control. They are quite stress-resistant

5.Most often, they do not work in their specialty. They could change a lot of jobs, and in each they developed quite successfully. They like to try and learn something new

Uranus in the 11th house:

1.Most of the time, his friends are creative and unusual. I would even say crazy a little bit. Such a person is attracted to cheerful, energetic and fervent people

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate dependence on other people's opinions and low self-esteem

3.Good leadership and organizational skills. Such a person is energetic and creative, knows how to communicate with a crowd of people and hear everyone's opinion. Many of them are activists at school or university

4.Such people rarely lose their virginity before the age of 18. They prefer to carefully look for the very person with whom they will feel not only a physical, but also a spiritual connection (for them this is a mandatory point)

5.With tense aspects, it may indicate social phobia or fear of loneliness. A person literally cannot be in silence or alone with his thoughts

Uranus in the 12th house:

1.Very good intuition, but there may be neurological problems (sleep problems, seizures, nervous tics, etc.)

2.Very kind and even too kind. They tend to put their own needs below those of others. They do not like to quarrel and will rather keep silent so as not to create unnecessary noise (but also consider the Sun and Mercury)

3.From the outside, such a person gives the impression of an educated and calm person. They are like your beloved grandfather, to whom you can always come for hugs and interesting stories.They are very comfortable!

4.On the other hand, people with this placement claim that because of their social flexibility, it is difficult for them to understand who they really are. The influence of other people is so strong that it is difficult for them to hear their inner voice

5.They prefer oversize clothes in calm tones(but also consider your Venus). Loose or wavy hair suits them very well. Sweaters or cardigans fit them best!

[jhdyuiee]

die with a smile

༯ pairing: soloist!jaehyun x fem!reader

༯ tags/warnings: angst, fluff, smut!, protected sex (reader is on pill), multiple positions & orgasms, kissing/making out, nipple/breast play, oral (f&m receiving), spanking, marking, hair pulling, name calling (good girl), pet names (my love, darling, baby), memory loss, minor drinking, cursing, stranger-to-lovers-to-strangers, car accident/crash, indication of blood, hidden relationship

༯ w.c: 14.3k!

༯ a.n: hi! i’m backs woohoo. this one came to me through hearing bruno mars & lady gaga’s new song “die with a smile” & with the great help of one of my mutals we made it possible! i’m not gonna lie this one was hard because i felt like in order to make it sad enough i had to put myself in that position. nonetheless i hope u all enjoy this one, probably one of my favorite writes. thank u for too for the continuous love and support, i love u all, take care, and stay safe! jiji out 🤍

༯ taglist! @dokyriu 🤍

you hummed the song playing overhead the store speakers as you stood behind the counter, waiting. for the most part, the store was empty, only garnering around 10 people since opening time. you quickly grew bored again, deciding to walk around the store. you fixed some records that were outta place, organized the booth where customers could listen to the records— heck you even swept the place. as you swept the door chimed, a customer. “hello! welcome, please feel free to browse around,” you put on your best employee voice and smile. the individual however didn’t respond, in fact he looked rather suspicious.

he was a tall man, with a black hoodie, face mask, cap, baggy jeans, and some—unusual–shoes. your eyes lingered on him a while longer while he sported straight to the indie records. however your curiosity soon died down, when you remembered you were still on the job.

as you went back to the register, you noticed the man walking towards you. he had a record in hand, you couldn’t make it out just yet until he stood just a couple inches apart. “would this be all?” you asked as he handed you the record.

cigarettes after sex, x’s

before he could even respond you bursted out in excitement. “wow! no way, you’re a fan too!?” if there was one thing about you, it was that you not only adored music in general, but a big fan of cigarettes after sex and their songs.

you kept looking at the man, watching as he brought his mask down. “yeah, i take it you’re one as well by the looks of it,” he says. you’re amazed, with his mask down you notice how attractive the once suspicious man was. not to mention his voice, it was a sweet melody of its own.

you nod shyly, “i’ve been a fan since like, ever.” a small smile touches his lips, “that’s impressive,” he says before taking a brief pause. you noticed as he observed you before asking, “you got any other recommendations?”

before you knew it, you quickly lost yourself in his question and the ones that followed. there wasn’t anything you loved more but to express your love for music, i mean after all this job was the whole reason you applied for it. being in a record store meant being surrounded by music, by your love and admiration. and if there was one thing you learned during your conversation with the man in front of you, it was that you two surprisingly had a lot in common. there were no words to explain how you felt, but you felt drawn to him. looking at it, you probably shouldn’t i mean you still didn’t even know his name!

a laugh came out of him as you blabbered about some crazy experience you had while attending a concert, until a phone started ringing. his phone. he reached for it from his back pocket where he excused himself to answer it.

you rang up his record, waiting for him to return so he could pay. when he did, he apologized for taking up so much of your time. “i-it’s alright, i was in need of a distraction,” you say as you look around the store. “it gets quite lonely here sometimes.”

he takes out a card from his wallet, tapping it on the card reader and when it reads it through, you hand him his record. “i had fun talking, i hope you have a gr-” you had started to bid him goodbye when he interrupted you.

“my names jaehyun. uhm, and if it’s alright can we- can we meet up again sometime?” he asks, noting as his ears turned red. how cute, you thought. also thinking how this was only supposed to be a one-time interaction. however you mind was already set even before you could tell what he was trying to say.

“of course, how about i give you my number so we can keep in touch?” you then proceed to ask. jaehyun nods his head, retrieving his phone and then handing it to you. he looks at you as you typed your number onto his phone, writing your name in the contact.

“my names y/n, y/l/n by the way. i’ll look forward to your call, or message.” jaehyun smiled, putting his phone away and grabbing the record. “i’ll see you then, y/n.”

your heart skipped, at either hearing him say your name or at his dimpled-smile he gave you as he walked out of the store. your eyes lingering on him as he disappeared.

“jaehyun,” you mumble to yourself. his name sounds a bit familiar, but no matter how long you searched you’d neve be able to find out why.

and when you finished your shift, grabbing your stuff from the employee lockers, you looked at your phone. one particular notification capturing you attention, and making your heart skip another beat.

unknown: how does this weekend sound?

you smiled, remembering him again. his smile, his voice, his everything. quickly saving his number, you then replied.

you: it sounds perfect

you: guess i’ll see you this weekend, jaehyun :)

walking out of the store and to your home, you couldn’t help but recount your interaction with him, smiling like a child. oblivious to the change that was about to come into your life.

you sighed, tossing another piece of clothing onto your bed. jaehyun was supposed to come pick you up in a couple of hours and you still couldn’t decide what to wear. you didn’t even know where he was taking you, he refused to tell you. this makes picking out an outfit for a date- wait a moment… was it a date?

you paused to think. he never explicitly said it was, you just sort of assumed it was. oh great… what if this wasn’t even a date and you’re over here trying to dress to the nines.

“ah fuck it,” you curse as you just grab an outfit you’d previously tossed onto your bed. i mean this would be fine right? it wasn’t a date, just two acquaintances meeting up to spark some friendship?

as you did your finishing touches, you glance over at your phone which had just begun to ring. you looked at the caller id, a smile plastered on your face.

“hello?” you hear the deep-dreamy–voice that you couldn’t get out of your head, on the other line.

a beat passes before you realize you have yet to answer. “h-hi!” you stumbled on your words and voice slightly too loud. though you couldn’t see it, your face felt hot with embarrassment.

on the other line a slight chuckle erupts from their throat. “everything alright? you’re not gonna cancel on me are you?” he asks.

“y-yes, sorry about that… just nervous,” you mutter the last words. “that’s a relief then since i’m already outside your home,” he responds.

you felt yourself slightly freeze. jaehyun was outside your home, like right now. when the thought registers in your mind, you quickly fumble, grabbing everything you needed before heading out.

“i’m going out right now,” you say, voice slightly panting at the speed you’re going. something within you didn’t even want to spend a second apart from him, a part of you needed to be in his company again. you couldn’t explain these indescribable feelings, however they didn’t bother you either.

as you make your way outside, you notice a black car parked in front of your home. soon after jaehyun comes out in all his glory. unlike the first time you saw him, he wore a white long-sleeved shirt, green cargo pants, and black shoes. nothing suspicious to the man.

“hey,” he says smiling so hard his dimples pop out. really, really cute, you thought. you fidget your hands before responding with a simple, “hi.”

the atmosphere felt a little awkward, but not uncomfortable. in a way it truly seemed like a date of a newly formed couple. however you squashed such thoughts; it’s not a date and you’re not a couple, you repeated in your head.

“shall we?” jaehyun asks, opening the passenger door. you nod before heading inside. after shutting the door, he makes his way to the driver’s side and begins to drive. plus points for being quite the gentleman, you thought.

the car was silent throughout the ride. in truth, this silence was killing you so you decided to speak up. “you’re not taking me to some place to murder me right?” you light-heartedly joked. you’d hoped it really is just a joke. jaehyun sighed, “you caught me.” you smiled, “well ain’t that too bad, you’ll have to postpone it for another day.”

“are you saying you’ll say yes if i ask to take you out again?” jaehyun says. it was a good thing you had your face to the window because you could’ve sworn your cheeks were pink.

“depends on how today will go,” you respond later. “speaking of which, you still won’t tell me where we’re going right?” you ask, finally gaining the courage to glance at him. to your surprise his eyes were already on yours. that darn red light, you cursed inside your head. a small smile appears on his face, “hm, nope.” he pops the word out as if to tease you.

“you’ll find out soon either way, we’re almost there,” he says, hitting the road again when the light turns green. the chatter between you two doesn’t die down, talking about just anything in the time it takes to arrive at the mysterious location.

looking out you recognized where this was. “a m-movie theater?” you questioned. i mean there was nothing wrong with it but it was definitely not at the top of your list of potential spots.

“i hope you like movies,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt as he gets ready to get out of the car. following suit, you unbuckle your seatbelt and head out. the theater was quite empty as there weren’t many cars parked. when the two of your began walking you spoke up, “what movie are we watching?”

he faintly smiles, “it’s a surprise.” god, him and his surprises. “you know i think i might be the one to murder you first,” you say, earning you a genuine laugh out of the man. a smile touches your own face at the sound of his laughter, your heart too feeling warm.

you follow him, side-by-side, as you two enter the theater. you watched as jaehyun whips his phone out to present the tickets to the employee up front. when you two made it through he stops to ask, “want anything?” you ponder for a minute, “i guess some popcorn and a drink would be nice.” jaehyun nods before heading off to get the things you asked for. in the meantime, you fished out your wallet.

when he came back with one popcorn, two drinks, and some candy in hand you asked, “how much was it?” you’re not sure if he didn’t hear you or he chose to ignore you, but he began walking to the direction of the theater where the movie was going to be shown.

when you attempt to help him with the drinks, your fingers graze his. in just that small contact you could still feel the burning warmth of him spread throughout you. and of course being the gentleman he was he opened the theater door for you. “t-thank you,” you shyly thanked jaehyun as you stepped into the theater. you briefly waited for him to go inside before you followed him to your seats. located smack dab in the middle was how you found yourself. however curiosity still returned to you, what movie could th- wait, wait, wait.

you glance at jaehyun, only one popcorn. one popcorn and two people. oh god... “u-um, i-is that for the two of us to share?” you asked, hoping it doesn’t rub off the wrong way. “y-yeah, is that alright? i figured this would be most convenient,” jaehyun responded, you noted the slight stumble at the beginning. jaehyun has never once stumbled on his words.

you sink into your seat, god this was making it harder to not think it’s not a date. fortunately, you didn’t have any more time to worry about things as the movie soon started.

a tragic romance.

beautiful was an understatement for the film. you balled your eyes nearly the whole film. two lovers, madly in love until one dies. it might’ve seemed cliche but it was so beautifully written and executed that none of that mattered.

“wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow.”

the last line the female lead mutters as she places a singular white flower on her lover's grave.

when the ending credits roll around and the lights turn on you suddenly remember you weren’t alone, jaehyun. you whip your head to your side, there he was. he turns his head a moment later. “i’m guessing you enjoyed it by the tears on your face.”

fuck, you forgot to wipe my tears away. you quickly get up from your seat, wiping the tears away talking to jaehyun as he walks behind you. “th-that’s n-not f-fair,” you stuttered on your words as the crying made you unable to talk. “what’s not fair?” he says in a playful tone. “t-taking me to watch a sad romance movie!” you slightly raise your voice as you turn around to face the man who caused these tears.

however your breath was caught. jaehyun only stood a few inches away from you. your eyes widened, face feeling hotter as he inches just a bit closer. you stood there frozen as jaehyun leaned down to your ear. “if i apologize, will you still agree to see me again?” he whispers. jaehyun’s hot breath burning your ear. you could’ve sworn your hearts thumping could be heard throughout the theater.

“we-well th-that’s not- you don’t need to do that… i was just kidding,” you say, your last words sounding more breathless. why, why, why… why were you feeling this way, feeling this way about jaehyun nonetheless?

“that’s a relief then,” jaehyun responds, moving from his spot in front of you to walk outside the movie theater. you stood there for a moment or two later before you rushed to his side again. the burn in your ear neverending.

on the ride back home the car was silent. you were too afraid to speak up, trying to gather your feelings. and before you knew it, you both were outside your home. yet before you could open the door to get out, jaehyun stops you with a call to your name. you turn around, eyes on his. “y-yes?” fuck, the constant stuttering was starting to piss you off. “so what’s your answer, will you go on another date with me?” he asks, so smoothly and calmly it shocks you.

d-date!? wait, so this actually was a date… “uh, uhm, this was a date?” you stupidly asked. jaehyun nods his head, “yes, at least that’s what i thought.”

“i- i tried telling myself it wasn’t…” you admit. “ah, it seems i should’ve made it clear. y/n, i asked you out on a date and i hope you would be open to going on another one with me,” he says so kindly it melts your heart.

god, you’re a fool for him. god, you li…

“i will, i’ll go on as many dates with you until you get tired,” you replied. jaehyun’s dimples popped out when he smiled widely, “you’ll probably be the one who gets tired of me first.” you too are smiling, “well then i hope neither of us ends up tired.”

“i hope so too,” jaehyun says, noting as he brings his hand to the back of your head. with his thumb he caresses your cheek, smiling at you so sweet like a lover does to their most beloved. it stayed like that for a good while before you snapped out of it. he wasn’t your lover… not yet.

“well then, i’ll see you next time. i’ll look forward to where you’ll take me next, just make sure i don’t cry again,” you start bidding him farewell. he retracts his arm, “i’ll keep that in mind. take care y/n,” jaehyun says.

opening the door you get out of the car, but before you leave you decide to give jaehyun a final farewell. “the date was actually really beautiful, i enjoyed it a lot. well then, drive back safely jaehyun,” you said smiling when you see his surprised face. you shut the door however, not letting him get a word in.

walking to the apartment complex’s door, you’re about to open it when you decide to take one final look. jaehyun’s car, unmoved. a small smile taints your face when you use one arm to wave goodbye. you were sure he must’ve seen, though you wished you would’ve seen his reaction.

on the way to your apartment, thoughts of jaehyun and your date today wouldn’t go away. it was the only thing you could think about and the only thing you could look forward to. you missed jaehyun already. it was thoughts like this and others that you finally were able to confirm.

you like jaehyun. The same man you met just a few days ago. no, you’ve been liking him since that day. you weren’t one to believe in that cliche, love-at-first-sight, but that day everything changed. jaehyun was able to do that, bringing you change.

every skip of your heart, every smile, laugh, tear, stutter; everything was a clear indication of your feelings towards jaehyun. and now that you’ve discovered this, you wanted more. you wanted to make jaehyun fall in love with you as well. it doesn’t matter how many dates you’ll have to go on, as long as he’s by your side that’s all that matters.

jaehyun, the man you like- no, love.

it took about a little over a month for you to quickly regret ever liking jaehyun, much less loving the man. thus you’ve spent the day ignoring his calls and messages, your upset and furry being in control for the day.

this all happened yesterday when he took you to the aquarium. there was nothing unusual about this date, well minus the part where he wore a mask and a cap. that was actually the first red flag.

the date was going good, great, superb. however when you were coming back from using the restroom you noticed two girls surrounding jaehyun. you watched as they excitedly talked to the man you were in the middle of date with. from the looks of it they were taking pictures with him before asking for his autograph. ok, red flag two.

a bit more chatter later before they excused themselves, noting the way jaehyun quickly brings up his mask and lowers his cap a little lower. this was your cue to go to him. though when you arrived he acted like nothing had just happened. ok… red flag 3?

fortunately, but unfortunately, the date continued as normal. the two of you exploring the aquarium, looking at the various species of fishes, going under the water bridge, touching stingray, everything.

you even thought maybe he would’ve brought something up on the car ride, but no, nothing. it wasn’t until after you finally reached your home that you decided to take matters into your own hands.

it truly was fascinating just how handy, dandy the internet was. a quick search to the name, jaehyun, and you were presented with just about every fact about the man you’d been seeing.

his name is jeong jaehyun, the same man you love, a celebrity. not just any, a soloist whose album had just come out a month prior to your first meeting with him. the more you scrolled, the more baffled you became because you had to find out his birthday, age, and everything else through the goddamn internet. not through jaehyun, the thought made you sad.

were you not trustworthy? why would he keep such a secret for you so long? was it intentional, or not?

you realized just how different you’re lives were. you a record store employee, he a global star who everyone had their eyes on. it was surprising how no one had discovered the two of you until now. heck, you didn’t even know either. then it clicked, you remembered why his name sounded so familiar. you recounted how some girls just a couple days before your meeting with him were mentioning his name, jaehyun.

and as you laid in bed last night, you couldn’t stop your brain from wandering, presenting various scenarios. what are you gonna do now? continue whatever you two had? end things?

you felt your heart ache a little, since a part deep down inside you didn’t want that. you selfishly still desired the man the world watched, you selfishly loved the man, the star they called jeong jaehyun.

as you continued recounting the events of last night, your doorbell rang. you got up, you weren’t really expecting anyone. however you still went to open it, only to be met with the one person you didn’t want to see.

as you tried shutting the door, you heard his hand bang against the door, stopping it from closing. this man is strong, you thought. succeeding in opening the door again, jaehyun steps in. the more he stepped in, the more steps you took back. neither of you said a word to each other until you almost stumbled. jaehyun quickly reaches for you, stopping you from falling.

what was this? a k-drama? you thought, shooing his arm that was around your waist away. you refused to talk first, so jaehyun did. “is everything alright? you weren’t answering my calls or texts so i thought i’d come over to check if you were still alive,” he says looking straight at you.

you decided it was best to be frank with him, no need to beat around the bush. “i don't know jeong jaehyun, you tell me.”

you note his eyes widen, his lips slightly parting when you said his name. “i- wh- jeong jaehyun?” he says as he stumbles on his words. you roll your eyes, was he really acting dumb right now, you thought.

“yes! you, jeong jaehyun! mr. singer!” you say, practically yelling everything. his mouth opens as if to say something before he shuts it back up again. this was infuriating you, he was infuriating you.

“h- how did you find out?” he decides to ask. “yesterday,” you replied, followed by the recounting of events you saw at aquarium.

“i- i see,” he just says as he turns his head to the floor. “were you planning to keep this from me?” you ask, biting on your lip.

he looks back up, “n-no! no- that wasn’t what i was trying to do.” he gets closer, and when you don’t move back he continues. “that was never my intention, i was going to tell you… though i never found the right opportunity to.”

his face turned soft, almost as if he were pleading with you to believe him. “it’s the truth y/n… please believe me. you know i would never lie to you, you know how hard i’ve been trying to get to know you, to spend time with you.”

“i- i believe you jaehyun but,” you start to say before you pause to find the right words. “you’re a star jaehyun, you and i both know this will not work out. i don’t want to ruin your reputation, your dream you’ve worked so hard to reach.” you felt your eyes begin to blur but you push the tears back. not right now, not in front of him, you thought.

he takes his hands and places them on your cheeks. “n- no y/n, my love… this is why i didn’t want to tell you, i didn’t want this. i didn’t want you like this, i could care less what the world would think about us. all that would matter in the end are my feelings for y-” he stops himself.

my love? my feeling for…? no, you’re lying. this has to be a dream right?

“fuck,” he curses lowly, taking one hand to rub his face. “pretend you didn’t hear that last part, i don’t want to tell you that to you just yet. could you wait a little longer for that?”

you slowly nod your head, “are you sure things would work out? between us?” you question, needing more reassurance before it’s too late to go back. jaehyun looks at you, taking your body into his. he wraps his arms around you, you fit perfectly around him. both of you feeling pleasant with each other's bodies, so warm, so perfect.

“it’ll be more than alright, i’ll make sure of it,” jaehyun says in a tone so reassuring that your worries are instantly washed away in an instant, long forgotten.

you two stay like that for a while, the time seeming to slow down. it was just so warm and comfortable that neither of you wanted to pull away. it was like you two were engulfed in your own worlds. that was until a phone started ringing, causing the warmth to leave you both. jaehyun let’s go of you, just clinging onto your hand as he reaches for his phone.

“it’s my manager,” he whispers. “yo-you should answer it then, i’ll go sit down,” you say but he tells you, it’s fine. you hear a male on the other line, and you were only able to hear him because of how loud he was screaming into jaehyun’s ear. from the looks of it, it seems he was scolding jaehyun for not being at his home so he could pick him up for a schedule.

you glance at jaehyun, the man drove all the way to see you despite having such a busy schedule. the action warmed your heart. you unconsciously, but consciously inched forward, tippy-toeing and placing a kiss on his cheek. the sudden action causing jaehyun to freeze mid-sentence.

“i-i’ll be there soon, bye,” he says, not bothering to wait for his manager to respond before he hangs up. “w-what was that for?” he asks, touching the place where your lips touched. you suddenly felt your face getting warm with embarrassment.

and when you didn’t say anything, jaehyun just smiled, this time he inched towards you. you close your eyes, only to feel his lips touch your forehead. you flutter them open, bringing your hand to touch where his lips touched. however before you could say anything, he started walking to your door.

“our next date, friday. i’ll see you then,” he says, leaving before you could even bid him goodbye. and when the door shuts, your legs give in, falling to the floor. you kissed him, he kissed you. oh god, this has to be a dream!

now than ever before you were wishing a day came sooner. friday. the day your dreams and wishes came true.

friday. the long awaited day. you stood outside your apartment complex, waiting for his car to arrive. this time you were the early one.

you were just too excited for today, too nervous to fall asleep last night. as you thought of the possibilities of today, you notice his car pulling up. a smile spreads across your face.

you begin walking as jaehyun gets out of his car. “you’re early,” jaehyun comments. “and you’re late,” you replied back even though there were still a couple minutes left until your official meet up time.

jaehyun smiles, as his eyes begin to wander your body. noting the way his eyes looked at you, up and down, down and up. and noting the way his tongue darts out to lick his lips, like a predator looking down on its prey.

“you look gorgeous today,” he comments when his lustful state leaves him. unlike the other dates, you dressed fancier as jaehyun recommended you to. so you’re wearing a long white, spaghetti strap silk dress. your heels hidden underneath. not to mention your make-up and hair were also top notch today.

“thank you,” you shyly said, pink adorning your cheeks. “you look handsome as well.” on the other hand, jaehyun abandoned the baggy jeans for some black dress pants and a designer top. his outfit eliciting obscene thoughts to run through your head. god, what if you were the predator…

“thank you, are you ready to go now? i don’t know how much longer i could wait,” he says as he holds your hand to drag you to the passenger seat of his car. “well, i can’t wait either,” you reply, smiling as you sit down.

as he begins to drive, you, like you’ve always done, ask him where he was taking you. however just like the first date, he is insistent on keeping it a surprise, and you know he won’t budge one bit. changing the topic, you ask jaehyun on how his week has gone. in which he talks about a photoshoot he had the other day for a well-known magazine. “i’ll make sure to buy your magazine,” you tease. “oh god, no, no… they’re not very… friendly,” he says as he tries looking for the right word.

you raise a brow at his comment, inquiring him more but he just tells you, “you’ll see.” before you knew it you’d arrived at the date destination. “where are we?” you ask as you look out the window. you were at a house, a big two-story house.

“my home,” he says, getting out of the car. his home?! you thought. “why are we here?” you ask, taking the hand he offered you. “on a date of course,” jaehyun says enthusiastically. “wh-what do you mean?”

“you’ll see,” jaehyun said, smirking as he began to drag you into his home. you very briefly take a look around his home. the vibe befitting of jaehyun, his home almost feeling like your home. you then crash into a hard wall, causing you to wince. however it wasn’t a wall, it was jaehyun’s back. “s-sorry!” you apologized, you were too distracted looking around his home that you didn’t notice he had come to a halt.

he turns around, no distance separating you two. “close your eyes,” he whispers. you obliged, closing them shut. your ears helped map out what was happening. you hear his footsteps going behind you until you feel his hands on both your shoulders. “i got you,” he whispers into your ear, his hot breath distributing throughout your body. jaehyun helps you walk forward, stopping you and you feel his hands disappear, his footsteps getting further away.

you call him, “j-jaehyun?”

“open your eyes, my love,” you hear him yell.

you begin to open your eyes slowly, your breath stopping as you take in the view in front of you. dimly lit lights scattered around the middle of his yard, with cushions and a small table in the middle with all sorts of foods and beverages. to others it might’ve seemed simple, but to you it meant everything.

you descend the steps until your feet touch the grass. no wonder he asked me to dress nicely, you thought. when you reach jaehyun, he takes your hand to walk you to your seat. you sit down on your cushion, watching as jaehyun walks to his.

“so, do you like it?” jaehyun says, a hint of nervousness evident in his tone. “like it? i love it!” you replied excitedly. jaehyun lets out a relieved sigh, his hand going on top of yours as his thumb caresses it gently. “that’s a relief, i spent all day trying to perfect it,” he says. you smile, “you did an excellent job, jae.”

“j-jae?” he asks. you nod, “you’re nickname, you don’t like it?” “n-no! i do, just caught me by surprise is all,” he continues as he smiles widely. “want something to drink?” he then asks. when you nod he then asks, “would you like some wine, or something else?”

“hmm, i’ll take you up on the wine,” you respond. his hand lets go of yours, to get the wine as he tries to open it and pour it in both glasses. “cheers,” you raise your glass, clinking with jaehyun’s. the taste of the wine was smooth, you liked it.

as you two continued downing the wine, the talk continued. making each other laugh and smile, enjoying each other's company. “are you hungry?” he asks mid-conversation. “a little,” you reply. “i got us some take out from this italian restaurant, i hope you like it,” he says as he serves you the food.

you take a bite of the pasta, moaning in delight. “it’s delicious,” you say, stuffing yourself in more pasta. jaehyun smiles, watching you enjoy yourself with the food. just looking at you made him full. however the noises you were making… that elicited explicit images across his mind. he felt his pants tighten.

“jaehyun?” you call out for him when he seems to zone out. “y-yes,” he says, coughing. “are you not going to eat?” you ask as you note he doesn’t have food on his plate. he shakes his head, “too nervous to eat, help yourself.”

oh and you do, the food being the most delicious italian food you’d ever tried. when no more could be eaten, jaehyun takes your hand again. “can you follow me for a moment,” he asks, almost hesitant and nervous. “yes, of course.”

both of you get up, hand in hand as you follow him. you walk a couple of steps before he stops. turning to face you, he grabs both your hands. now you’re nervous.

“y/n,” he calls your name, softly. “yes, jae?” the anticipation killing you. he squeezes your hands, “i love you.” your heart stops.

“i’ve loved you since the first time we met. and every moment we’ve spent since then has been the greatest gift to my life, you are my greatest gift. there isn’t a moment where i don’t think about you, desire you, love you. it’s gotten to the point where i can’t handle it anymore,” jaehyun confesses.

you’re at a loss of words, speechless at the words coming out of his mouth. your vision blurs, “i-i love you too,” you weakly say as tears begin streaming down your face. he lets go of your hands to bring his to wipe your tears away. his heart melts at the sight, you’re just too beautiful, too perfect for him. how could he ever let you go?

“y/n… wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow. i’ma love you every night like it’s the last night. if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you. and if our time on earth was through, i’d wanna hold you for a while, and die with a smile.”

his words only made you cry all the more. you lunged on him, arms wrapping around him as you cried. he whispers to you so gently, so softly, “my love, will you be my girlfriend?”

you clutched him tighter, “yes! i’ll be your girlfriend, i’ll be your everything and anything. just as you’ve helped me, i want to do the same for you. i love you, i love you jaehyun.”

jaehyun too hugged you tighter, “i love you more, and i promise to protect you from  now on… i’ll shield you from those who hurt you.” he lets go to get ahold of your face, cupping it. “after all my love, you’re the woman i fell for.”

you melt at his words, tippy-toeing on your feet as you wrap your arms around his neck. you didn’t need to think twice before your lips found themselves on his. what was supposed to just be a delicate and gentle kiss evolved into something deeper, intense, and passionate.

jaehyun’s hands held you as if to not let go. his lips molding into yours so perfectly, you’ve never felt this way about a kiss before. however before it could get even more heated, he departs. both of you panting, eyes lustful, hungry.

“let’s go inside,” jaehyun says breathlessly, picking you up so easily. your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you inside and onto the second floor.

⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ

in a blink of an eye, you’d made it into jaehyun's room and onto his bed with your dress, heels, panties, and bra scattered somewhere inside. you two, too eager, began tearing each other's clothes off, craving for one another.

his hands couldn’t resist your curves, your soft skin. “you’re even more beautiful underneath,” jaehyun comments as he traces random patterns on your stomach. your legs closed, but your cunt needy. “you gonna be a good girl and let me touch you?” he asks in a low, deep voice. his hands coming to your knees, his lips kissing your legs.

“open up for me, my love,” he says as he looks up at you whilst he kisses your leg. this was so hot, you couldn’t resist. you slowly open your legs, your aching cunt coming into full display. you watch as jaehyun’s eyes get darker, something washing over him. he tugs on your thighs, pulling you closer. your breath hitched as you felt his fingers ghost around your pussy, you clenched around nothing.

“p-please,” you whimper, not being able to take this any longer. jaehyun’s eyes landing on you, “please what darling?” he asks as if to test you. “yo-your fingers… please put them… in-inside,” you shyly asked, pleading to feel him finally touch you where you most needed it.

jaehyun smirks, finding you so fucking adorable as you begged him to practically finger-fuck you. he reaches over, smashing his lips onto yours. you tasted so delicious, already becoming so addicted to you. however you had no time to focus on the kiss as you felt his fingers teasingly stroke your pussy. you moan into his mouth when his thumb rubbed on your clit.

his lips leave yours, making their way down. biting, sucking, kissing, and licking all the way from your jaw to the valley of your breast. trailing his lips to one of your tits, he sucks around your nipple, tongue flickering as he bites down. it wasn’t until he marked your tit up before he moved to the other one, repeating his actions. all the while you tried to keep your voice down by biting roughly onto your bottom lip.

“it’s alright darling, let your voice out. there ain’t no one here besides you and me, and you best believe i wanna hear my name coming out of that sweet mouth of yours,” he says before departing from your tit with a pop. satisfied seeing the marks on your tits, he moves his head to where his fingers continue to tease you.

he watches your face twist when his fingers finally enter you. two digits, inside you fitting so snug around your gummy walls. “well would you look at that,” jaehyun groans, taking his fingers out. “look at how wet you are just from some kissing and tit sucking.” you watch him, eyes-on-eyes, as he brings those two fingers to his mouth. he eats your essence off his fingers, groaning in satisfaction at your taste.

“you taste so sweet, so delicious i could eat you all night- no, all my life long.” once he feels he’s gotten every drop of you off his fingers he shoves them back inside you. the sudden intrusion, shocking you that you arch your back. he scissors his fingers inside you, trying to open your tight cunt up but to no use. you still clench around his fingers, the pleasure fulfilling. he reaches you so deep as he fucks his fingers into you, trying to learn and find your pleasure points. you became a map, one he must find his way around in order to find the prized treasure.

“s-so deep!” you yell out when you feel his fingers grasp at your g-spot. he’s got you now, increasing his pace as he continues hitting that spot. your pussy’s squelching noises echoing throughout the room along with your moans. feeling yourself grow closer to coming, your walls clench around his fingers that weren’t stopping their ruthless fucking. adding his other thumb into the mix, he shoved it into your mouth. “suck,” he says roughly and a bit impatiently.

your eyes look at him, as you sucked on his thumb and swirled your tongue around it. a low curse leaves his lips as he takes his thumb out of your mouth to bring it to your clit. using the wet thumb to freely rub against your clit, sometimes bringing his other finger into the mix so he could pinch the bud.

“f-fuck, y-yes! just- just like that j-jae, ye-yes baby~” you moan, the pleasure consuming you, so close to bringing you crumbling down.

“cum on my fingers my love, i know you could do it, i feel you,” jaehyun says, trying to get his words to send you tipping over the edge. and god does it work, you came hard around his hand, arching your back and rolling your eyes til you almost saw white. nonetheless jaehyun didn’t stop, continuing to fuck his fingers in knuckles deep into your pussy. the over-stimulation, erupting smaller orgasms from you.

“s-so good,” you breathlessly say when he finally stops. his fingers coming back to his mouth where he licked his fingers, swirling his tongue around. jaehyun truly couldn’t get enough of the taste of you. “you’re so good,” he says, bringing his lips onto yours again. you can faintly taste yourself on his lips as he kisses you. his tongue, wanting to enter in which you let it. heatedly kissing, you find yourself beginning to grind against his boxers. you feel the hard, thick cock against your wet cunt.

“w-want you,” you say in between the kiss. jaehyun halts, “me or my cock?” you stay quiet, not knowing what to say. “b-both,” you decide on truthfully answering. jaehyun smirks at this response, leaning back and getting off the bed. you sit up, watching the man as he takes his boxers off. your mouth falling slightly open, nearly drooling at the sight.

he was big, girthy, and aching. you note the residue of pre-cum coming out of his red tip. “don’t stare too much, it’ll be yours soon,” jaehyun says as he comes back onto the bed. your breath hitches when he’s only a couple inches away. he slides his cock between your folds, rubbing himself on you, gathering your juices around his cock.

“i forgot to buy condoms, so we’ll just need to do this for now-” jaehyun explains before you interrupt him. “i-it’s fi-fine! i-i’m on the pill,” you say, getting rather shy at the end.

“shit, i swear you're going to be the death of me,” jaehyun says before grabbing onto his cock. his tip almost enters you before he stops, “ready?” you nod, needing him to enter you now. jaehyun slowly pushes his tip inside, feeling as you tightly wrap around him. “re-relax a bit for me baby,” he softly says. however his words didn’t help, you couldn’t relax around his cock so he decided to distract you by kissing you once more. getting so engulfed in the kiss, you don’t worry and start loosening up, allowing his cock to slowly but surely enter you.

when he parts a string of saliva connects both your mouths. jaehyun looks at your cunt which has now swallowed him. “s-so hot, so tight, fuck,” he curses when he sees the bulge in your stomach. reaching to grab your hand so you could feel him. “fe-feel me? right here,” he says. your eyes widened, he was reaching you deep.

“i’m gonna start moving, hold on,” he warns you. you take up on his warning, wrapping your arms around his neck. he plants a kiss on your forehead before he slides out only to then slide back in. it starts off slow, getting adjusted to one another, testing the waters. however, you had other plans.

“f-faster… please jae, fuck me faster~”

this knocks every last bit of jaehyun’s self control, logic, gentleness, and everything sweet out the window. replaced with a rougher, uncontrollable jaehyun. lifting one of your legs over his shoulder, while the other is pressed down against your chest he starts pounding into you. in the way you begged him to, his cock reaching you even deeper than his fingers. you could almost feel yourself close to coming already. you clench tightly around his cock, jaehyun taking this as a signal you were close to coming.

“it’s al–fuck--alright my-my love, cum around my cock. let me feel you whither around me,” he moans as he feels you clench around him when he ruthlessly thrusts into you. the fucking was so intense, your mind became dazed. all you could think about was his cock, the way he looked down at you with those eyes of his.

“ev-ever since i saw you in th-that dress, i’d wanted to bend y-you over and devour you, my love,” jaehyun says. the slapping of his balls against your ass echoing the room, along with the moaning of both of you. he tightens his grip on your thigh, pulling you body closer, deeper. maneuvering his thumb back onto your clit he starts abusing the now swollen bud again, whispering praises. you felt his cock twitch as your orgasm came crashing out of you.

your body shuddering, gasping for air as you were completely spent. his cock still fucking into you, his hands no longer on your legs or clit but on your waist. gripping onto the flesh tightly, fucking your body onto his cock. your voice loud, moaning as he overstimulated you. he leaned down, capturing your lips as his cock twitched before releasing his warmth. your walls painted white, womb filling up with all of him.

thrusting slower into you now before slipping out. your pussy feeling empty, dripping with cum. jaehyun couldn’t get enough of the sight in front of him, he wanted more. he needed you once more, you needed him once more.

“one more round, please my love,” jaehyun grunts. your fucked state, making him hard again. “p-please,” you beg. he groans before taking your body to gently and swiftly flip you around, your stomach against the mattress. “up baby, on your hands and knees,” his low, deep voice commands.

you weakly do as he says, your body is practically like jelly. from behind, jaehyun feels your ass. he fondles it, loving the way it feels. slap. “ah-“ you shout in shock. the harsh slap against your ass, causing you to stumble forward.

“you like that? what a dirty girl,” jaehyun teases, feeling as his cock rubs against your slit again. his hands traveled to your hips, gripping them and slamming himself into your cunt. both of you letting out moans as you felt one another again. “still so tight for me, aren’t i luck?” you muttered back something incoherent, your brain scrambed as he fucks his cock into you faster, harder, intensely. he reached you so beautifully and effortlessly from behind.

you ached for more so you began throwing yourself back against him. jaehyun watches, stopping his thrusting to watch you cutely fuck back onto his cock. he curses himself, feeling his cock twitch, aching for its release.

you were oblivious to him not thrusting into you, finding yourself enthralled by the pleasure you were giving yourself. his cock, was made for you; he was made for you, the two of you made for one another. you continued for a while longer, turning your head behind to look at the man you love. your thrusting comes to a halt when you notice him just looking at you dangerously.

“wh-what?” you ask confused. drool escaping your lips, tears adorned your eyes. he leans in, “my baby so needy she doesn’t notice the show she’s been giving me,” he whispers before departing. his hands coming to slap your ass again on both sides. his action weakening your arms, you flop on the bed, your ass still sticking up. you hear a low, tsk, come out of his mouth before grabbing your arms, bringing them behind you. you’re lifted, he uses your arms to push you onto his cock.

jaehyun’s thrusting starts again, going insane whilst he also uses you to fuck agaisnt him. and with one brutal thrust of his cock inside you, you’re tipped over the edge. your third orgasm of the night exploding over you. you faintly hear jaehyun groan then curse in the background before he comes inside you once more, filling you all the more.

letting go of your arms, you instantly flop onto the bed. you’re spent, utterly fucked out of your mind. your body still trembling after all the aftermath of the mind-blowing sex you’d just had with jaehyun.

jaehyun too, collapsed onto your side. his arms wrapping around your body as he pulls you against him. he turns you to face him. using his hands to move the hairs stuck on your face. “good job baby, you did good,” he praises you. “i’ll clean you up in a bit, my love, just rest for now.” you feel his lips gently place a kiss on your forehead, fluttering your eyes shut. your breath calms, lulled into a deep sleep.

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you feel something hard pressing against your back. the feeling waking you up, the sun shining through the windows. you attempt getting up when you suddenly feel trapped by something heavy. you travel your eyes down to that something, an arm. you're confused for a brief moment before flashbacks of last night flow through your head. your face heating up, your cunt twitching.

in your attempt to lift jaehyun’s arm you feel the man stir behind you. “mmm, stay in bed for a while longer,” you hear him mumble against your ear. he sounded asleep, but his cock was not. his cock stood proudly against both your bodies. you feel his pre-cum wetting your back. this made your pussy ache, growing wetter. fuck. it only morning and you already want to get dicked down.

biting your lip, you hesitate whether or not to wake jaehyun up so he could help fulfill your desire. fuck it, you thought. using all your might, you get out of his embrace. turning him onto his back, you straddle him. the change in position, waking jaehyun up. he almost believes he’s still dreaming.

neither of you say a word, instead you crawl behind, in between his legs as you hold his cock. it felt rock hard in your hands, hot even. “fu-fuck,” jaehyun curses as you start jerking his cock. you watch his expressions carefully, eyes still on him as you lick up the tip. you dart your tongue around his tip, licking up his pre-cum.

your hands gripping the base, as you began taking him in slowly into your mouth. he was so big and girthy that you struggled in getting him fully inside your mouth, trying your hardest to breathe. you let out a moan around his cock when you feel his hand fist your hair. the moan sending pleasure throughout jaehyun’s body. your mouth was just as perfect as your sweet cunt.

you look up, eyes blurry with tears from taking his cock so deep. you kept your eyes on him as you continued bobbing your head, running your tongue along the shaft. his eyes close, throwing his head back. he fists your hair tighter, finding yourself enjoying it. your wet cunt dripping down your thighs. you increased your pace, hands working in tandem with your mouth as you continued bobbing your head. you felt him twitch inside your warm mouth. however, just as you thought you’d have him cum inside your mouth, he pulled your head back with the fisted hair he had around his hand.

you let out a whine, upset at the loss of having him cum inside your mouth. yet before he could say anything you hovered over his cock, rubbing his tip along your wet cunt. grabbing his cock, you begin sinking it inside you. the stretch feeling so good for both parties. neither of you getting accustomed to each other. your mouth falls open when you feel that he’s all inside, eyes wandering to his.

jaehyun was completely lost in the sight in front of him. the way he felt your sweet cunt felt around him was unbelievable. he grasps onto your hips, finger tips digging into your skin. he watches as you lift yourself up before slamming back down into him. jaehyun enjoyed watching his cock disappearing inside you, turning him on all the more.

“f-fuck, just like that,” jaehyun grunts. your hands on his chest, leaning forward as you throw your ass onto his cock, grinding your clit on him to get some stimulation. his hands travel to your ass, digging into the flesh before slapping one of your ass cheeks. then another, slap. slap. slap. the constant slapping of his hands on your ass could be heard around the room.

“keep riding my cock, my love,” jaehyun said, in a low sultry tone. igniting you, you continue. when he feels your pace falter, he helps you out. digging his fingers into your hips to dive you back on his cock. faster, faster; deeper, deeper.

a rough thrust or two later before you’re a trembling mess on top of him as your orgasm hits you. your lips attaching themselves onto his neck, lightly sucking on his skin. jaehyun still hasn't cum yet, spreading your ass as he dives into you roughly. his lips finding yours, moaning into your mouth when he finally came. his cock twitching inside you, making you feel all warm again.

“fuck, what a way to start the morning,” jaehyun says softly, pecking you on your temple. you giggle, “sorry, just can’t seem to get enough of you.” a chuckle erupted from his throat, “neither could i, it’s almost as if we’re made for one another.” to this you nod, resting yourself on his chest.

the two of you spending the day in bed together, not being able to keep your hands off each other. you two only get up to eat and use the bathroom. even showering didn’t stop him from taking you from behind. orgasm after orgasm, the two of you are completely inseparable. loving one another to the fullest.

“i love you so much my love,” jaehyun whispers when you two find yourselves collapsed on his bed again. you gently place a kiss on his lips, i love you so much more jae,” you muttered before falling asleep again in his warm embrace.

it’s been just over a week since you and jaehyun had officially started dating. not a single moment goes by where he doesn’t show his adoration for you, you two completely smitten with one another. he always makes time in his schedule for you, and you too try being considerate. after all, your boyfriend was a star, not just your star, but a world star.

today however was an important day, a day you and jaehyun have been dreading. the day you meet his manager. although jaehyun made sure to come clean to his company about your relationship with him, they insisted his manager meet up with you. jaehyun agreed under the condition he was there as well.

the date was set for today, so now you’re waiting on jaehyun’s couch for the two of them to come bursting in. the other day jaehyun had given you a key to his home so you could come inside whenever you wanted. your leg shook from nervousness, your mind wandering to stupid scenarios like him kicking you to the curb.

however you reassured yourself nothing of the sort was going to happen, after all they hadn’t told jaehyun he was to break-up with you the day he came clean to them. you take a deep breath in when you hear the door open. fuck. your stomach getting nervous, the food you’d aten wanting to make an appearance on jaehyun’s black fur rug.

you stand up just in time as jaehyun and a male besides him come walking in. he was slightly shorter than jaehyun, clad in casual clothes. “h-hello,” you nervously greet, bowing at the man.

“hello ms. l/n,” he greets you back. you're a bit puzzled at how he knew your last name. perhaps jaehyun told them, you thought as you tried shoving the useless thought aside. “no need to be so nervous my love,” jaehyun says, walking to your side. he’s oddly calm, sitting down. his manager takes a seat across from the two of you, you too take a seat besides jaehyun.

“i already said hello, but i have yet to introduce myself properly. hello, i’m jaehyun’s manager, lee dohwa,” his manager finally introduces himself. “nice to meet you mr. lee, i’m y/l/n,” you introduce yourself as well even if he already knew your name. “my girlfriend,” jaehyun adds, both you and his manager glare at him.

mr. lee clears his throat before speaking, “well it’s finally nice to meet you ms. l/n, your name has gone around the company quite a lot as of late.” you tense, growing nervous. “ah, no need to be so nervous. i’m not here to make you guys end things, nor is the company. we’re in understanding of the situation, jaehyun made that clear a few days ago when he told us,” his manager talks. you listen intently, nervousness washing away at the fact they really aren’t going to break you up from jaehyun.

“which led to the company asking jaehyun whether he wanted to go public, but the guy told us it was up to you to decide.” up for me to decide? you thought, turning to face jaehyun who just listened to the conversation. he looks up at you, bringing his hand to caress your cheek. “it’s true baby, it’s your word. if you want to go public, we’ll go public but if you don’t then we won’t,” he assures you. your heart melting at how much he cared for you, treasured you. it was a big decision to make, you thought long and hard about it. you tried finding pros and cons, eventually scrapping those off. you thought it’d be best to listen to what your heart wanted.

“i- i don’t want to go public,” you say with a bit of hesitation. you glance over at jaehyun to see his reaction only to find him smiling and mouthing, good job. “alright,” his manager says before continuing, “if that’s what you want, we’ll respect both your wishes. however you must still try and keep things under wraps and not get caught because then we’ll have no choice but to confirm the rumors.”

you nod, understanding the situation. “and if you ever change your mind, let jaehyun know and we’ll figure something out,” the manager clarifies. “got it, thank you so much mr. lee,” you sincerely thanked the man. he got up from his seat, “well, then since that’s out the way i have to get going.”

“leaving so soon?” you asked, following him as he walks to the door, jaehyun too follows. “yeah, i still gotta go back and report to the company. don’t worry jaehyun’s all yours for the day,” he says. you slightly blush at his comment, knowing what will happen once his manager leaves. as he grabs the doorknob he stops, turning back around. “ah, i almost forgot, could you get me water jaehyun?” he asks. jaehyun sighs, going back into his house to retrieve a water bottle for his manager.

in the meantime his manager takes the opportunity to get your contact information. “figured i’d ask you now that jaehyun isn’t around since i’d doubt he’d let you exchange information with me,” his manager explains as you type in your phone number. you hand him back his phone, “i’ll have you send me your email later too, the company will probably need it.” you nod as jaehyun comes back. he hands him the water bottle before he finally opens the door. mr. lee bids you both a final goodbye before leaving.

you close the door as jaehyun’s arms wrap around your waist. he tenderly kisses an exposed part of your neck. “what do you want to do now?” you ask. you feel him smile against your neck, “i know of a couple ways to spend the rest of the day, maybe even night.” god, this guy was going to drive you even more insane.

and so for the rest of the entire day you spent it with one another entangled, desiring one another. unable to let the other go, the two of you feeling at home.

“our love’s being the only war worth fighting for.”

10 months later.

d-day. the long awaited encore concert, jaehyun’s encore concert. after almost 10 months of touring the world, it’d finally come to an end today. it felt like it was just yesterday when his company announced he’d be touring. not to mention it was almost a month after you two started dating, that he would start his tour. as a consequence, you two refused to leave each other’s embrace, he devoured you whenever he could as he wouldn’t be able to see you for weeks on end. however you still encouraged him whenever you could, time difference being the only thing making things hard. at times it’d resort to the two of you having phone sex, you two truly were unable to live without the other.

nevertheless, whenever he’d be back, he would make time in his schedule to take you out on dates. the two of you putting up quite the disguise of face masks and caps every time. throughout the months you felt the relationship grow stronger with each passing day. you were the happiest you’d ever been and it was all because of jaehyun, your star.

today however finally marked the final of his tour and his manager encouraged you to come and watch again. you were hesitant at first, fearful of being found out. yet he had the genius idea of disguising you as staff. and so now here you were, entering the building with a staff badge hanging around your neck. you perfectly blended in, going unsuspected. mr. lee finds you, greeting you and walking you to where you were going to reside.

a vip lounge.

when you got there you noticed two familiar faces, jaehyun’s parents. you’d met them not too long after you met with his manager. they welcomed you so openly and warmly it almost made you cry. they treated you as if you were their own daughter.

“y/n!” his mother excitedly says your name when she sees you. you call for her too, being embraced into a hug. when you let go you bow to his father who stood beside his wife. “y/n, nice seeing you again,” he greets you. “you as well mr. jeong,” you politely greet.

“y/n,” jaehyun’s manager calls your name behind you, stopping the joyful reunion. “you’ll stay here, pose as staff and guide them backstage when the concert is concluded,” he explains. you nod, understanding the responsibility you now bear. he bids you three a goodbye before quickly exiting. being a manager sure it tuff, you thought.

“how are you!” jaehyun’s mother continues. and as you answer her the two of your converse into some deep conversations. the hour went by quickly while being in the company of his parents since before you knew it the lights turned off, fans screamed and stood up with their phones out, trying to get a glimpse of the star who was about to go onstage.

you watch intently, seeing him, your boyfriend, being lifted up stage. his presence radiating, illuminating, you almost didn’t wanna blink, afraid you’d miss even just a second of him. he starts singing, you hear as his fans sing along and wave their lightsticks. It warmed your heart, you secretly thanked them for supporting your beloved.

it wasn’t your first time seeing jaehyun in a concert, but you still couldn’t get over the fact that the stage seemed like jaehyun’s home. it was a place where he stood out so beautifully, belonged in. he made you so goddamn proud. and as you continued watching the concert, you found yourself singing along, yelling, and crying— you resembled a fangirl. you honestly didn’t mind, after all you were his number one fan.

as the concert was coming to a close, jaehyun was giving his ending ment. he continuously thanked everyone and everything. however that wasn’t what captured your attention, it was what he said last that not only captured yours but the fans attention as well.

“and very soon, i have an announcement to make. i can’t spoil anything yet but just know i hope that you all can continue to support me,” jaehyun said, smiling so wide his dimples were on full display on the screens. to the fans, they might’ve thought it was an announcement of a comeback, but to you, you knew it was something entirely different.

it all happened a couple months ago during one of the times jaehyun had taken you out. you felt the urge to talk to him about this pending thought. “wh-what if we go public?” you abruptly say in the car as he drove you two to his house. he’s stopped at a red light, the perfect opportunity. he glances over at you, his hand squeezing yours. “it’s whatever you want darling, i’ve told you… wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow,” he reassures you, taking your hand to kiss your knuckles. “i-i want to go public, well not now but maybe soon, perhaps when we make a year,” you say, his eyes tearing away from yours when the light turns to green. “alright my love, we’ll do that,” he replied back, a smile tainting his face.

though you two haven’t talked about it since then, you both know that your two year anniversary is right around the corner. it made you happy knowing he still remembered. he always seemed to know everything, he truly was the perfect man you could’ve ever asked for.

he sings two more songs before the concert officially comes to an end, his tour finalizing. once he’s off that stage, you and his parents hurry backstage as you try avoiding running into any fans. luckily you two made it without a hitch. you find his manager in the halls, waiting for you three. he then guides you to the lounge area where jaehyun later arrives in. he instantly bursts out smiling seeing all his beloved people gathered. he starts off by greeting his parents, hugging them and kissing them. jaehyun moves along to you, in which you immediately wrap your arms around his neck.

“you did amazing out there jae,” you whisper into his ear. “thank you my love, i could feel your presence and felt all the more motivated,” he says. you two depart from each other's embrace and instead give one another a loving peck on the lips.

the four of you relaxed for a while, until food and a cake came inside. “to celebrate,” mr. lee announces. everyone in there having a good time, you were having an amazing time. although the touch of jaehyun’s fingers on your thigh elicited you to think of other things. your mind goes off the rails. however you knew what jaehyun was doing here, what he was trying to tell you. you glances over at him beside you, only to catch him doing the same. a small smirk spreads across his face, your panties growing wet.

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you two made it to his car before he began tearing your pants off you. earlier as the, congrats-on-a-good-tour, party had been wrapping up, jaehyun decided to excuse you two. he insisted on driving you two back home, which his manager allowed. he knew he wouldn’t win against jaehyun. and so when you two said your final goodbyes to his parents, he practically had you running to the parking garage underneath the venue. he told you to get into the backseat in which he then joined you as well.

now you find him tearing your clothes away from your body, throwing it to the passenger seat. you laid in the backseat, naked with nothing but your cute red panties. jaehyun licked his lips before going in between your legs. he pries them open, each leg on one of his shoulders. he kisses your you inner thighs, nibbling on the skin.

when he comes face-to-face with your pussy he darts out his tongue where he kitty licks you through your underwear. you bite down on your bottom lip as he plays with your clit. your panties growing even wetter, mixing along with him, eventually he finally removes your panties, stuffing them in his pocket before going back down.

with both his thumbs, he spreads your pussy lips apart. tongue licking you up so slowly you felt yourself clench around nothing, you ached. he flicked your clit before suddenly intruding his tongue inside you.

you moaned loudly, arching your back off the car seat as his tongue fucked itself in you. opening you up against your gummy walls, reaching you so deep. the wet noises infiltrated the car. your hips began grinding against him, one of your hands flying to his hair. you urge him deeper, he moaned from the action, sending sensations of pleasure to course throughout your body.

jaehyun kept going at it with his tongue, his pace quick. he travels a hand to your tit. jaehyun groped it as he used his fingers to play with your nipple, pinching the bud hard, and causing you to moan. whilst he used his other hand to start playing with your clit. abusing the poor thing, and not too long after he takes his tongue out of you. you whine at the loss of sensation.

“it’s alright my love, i’ll let you cum soon,” he says before getting up and sitting against the car seat. “come here,” he says, eyes looking at you like a predator.

you waste no time in straddling his lap, his lips coming onto your to engulf you into a steamy kiss. tongues fighting one another, teeth clashing, and a little tug on your bottom lip. “ride me. take me like a good girl right here,” he says in a sultry tone.

you couldn’t afford to waste time, you quickly sunk yourself into his cock. you still couldn’t get used to his length, it took a bit for you to get accustomed. his hands gripped your hips, guiding you into his cock. he plowed you in and out, watching his cock disappear inside of you, exciting him. “shit, good girl. you’re my good girl aren’t yo—fuck—you,” he grunts when he feels you tightening around his cock. an indication you were close to reaching your high. from getting tongue-fucked, it left you desperate for your release.

jaehyun was no cruel man, he helped you reach your high with a pleasurable play on your clit. he pounded into you once before you’re orgams came washing over you. you throw your head back, tongue lolling out.

“fuck, so beautiful,” jaehyun mutters, his high not too far away. as he continues fucking into you, you cling onto him. your arms wrapped around him, your lips sucking on his neck, marking him. and with a slap to your ass, he came inside you. panting heavily, he finally stops. the windows fogging up, you’d hoped no one had seen you two. yet there was something so hot about being seen, the thought turning you on.

jaehyun felt you clench, he knew what you were thinking about, he always did. “you dirty girl, wishing everyone saw you being fucked by me,” he smirks. god, something about the way he talked to you, ignited you even more.

you whisper into his ear, “yes, so fuck me more jae~ let everyone see how much i love you.”

jaehyun felt as though he could die right now, by you and your words. he wastes no time giving you a nice good fucking, round after round until your two couldn’t no more, needing a bigger space. he finally decides to drive off, driving while he had his fingers in your sweet pussy, fucking their way inside you until you saw stars.

even as you made it through the front door he took you from behind, moving to the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and his bedroom. he took you wherever and whenever around his home. and once both you have had enough of one another, you’re lulled into a deep sleep.

jaehyun’s pov.

today was the day, our one year anniversary. i’d planned a big day for the both of us today, and right now i’m heading to pick her up. i’m stopped at a red light, my thoughts infiltrated with her and the year we’ve spent together.

not only was it our one year, but today i’d planned to propose to her. i clutched my unoccupied hand around the velvet box. i purchased the ring a while back, i knew i’d wanted to marry her. she was my everything, i couldn’t live without her, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her beauty, her personality, her everything, the flaws. at times it felt like she and i were specially made for one another. destined beings meant to be with one another. she had become my greatest gift, and from that day a year ago, i knew i wanted to marry her, build a family with her, and be with her during my last dying breath.

and once i’d propose to her, i’d like to officially announce our relationship and marriage. today was going to be the perfect day. even the weather was in my favor, i couldn’t wait to see her reaction to the ring, her face when she-

crash. bang. slam.

red, my vision was painted red. glass scattered on the floor, i was paralyzed. my car had been flipped over. shit.

no, no, no this couldn't be happening right now. no, please god not now, not today. my mind thought of y/n, she was still waiting for me to arrive. i clenched my hand on the box, it still was in my hand. today was suppose to be our one year, the day i asked for her hand in marriage, the day we’d spend eternity today.

as if a twist of events, droplets of rain began dripping down my face. i could feel my eyes wanting to close. no, fuck, jaehyun stay awake, i thought. y/n is waiting for you, she is-

black, i saw black. the noises stopped, everything became silent. the last thing i saw was y/n, my love, my beloved, my soulmate. i wished i could’ve spent one last time with her, "right next to you y/n, right next to you."

you grew worried. jaehyun hadn’t arrived yet, he hadn’t even messaged or called you to tell you he was going to run late. not to mention something your gut told you something wrong happened. you couldn’t shake off this feeling. you even tried calling him, but to no avail. he wasn’t answering. and so you resorted to calling his manager, but he too did not answer.

you impatiently waited for something, but nothing came until the afternoon arrived. your phone begins to ring, you immediately retrieve it. it was jaehyun’s manager. you quickly answered, not bothering to let him talk first. “mr. lee, hi! have you heard from jaehyun? he hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts, please le-” you rant quickly, wanting to seek answers but are interrupted by a distraught mr. lee.

“y/n, i’ma need you to hear my carefully,” he starts off. your worry increasing and your gut twisting. “j-jaehyun’s in the hospital right now, if you can you should come before his surgery finishes.”

“s-surgery?” you ask, voice wobbling. “y-yes, this morning, i’m guessing on his way to pick you up, he was involved in a car accident, it was bad. jaehyun was unresponsive when paramedics arrived, but was still breathing. he had a pretty nasty cut to his head and the doctor advised to quickly operate on him,” mr. lee explained the situation.

you don’t even remember much after that. you screamed in agony, tears nonstop as they roll down your face. you quickly head over to the hospital, ignoring the herds of news stations reporting. it disgusted you, how could they when your beloved was barely holding up.

you rush to the front of the hospital, asking to let you see jaehyun but that’s when mr. lee steps in to let you go with him. you rush together outside the operating room where jaehyun was at. you shook as mr. lee continued telling you details of what had happened earlier that morning. it hurt you, you couldn’t believe it. today was supposed to be your one year anniversary, the day you two celebrated in harmony, in love, with one another. yet here you were, in a hospital, awaiting news of the conclusion of his surgery. you’d never cried this much in your life.

in the midst of it all, jaehyun’s parents had arrived as well. his mother completely distraught, embracing you as you two prayed for jaehyun’s successful surgery. it felt neverending, like years had been passing by. why were they taking so long, why, why, why. you couldn’t take this anymore, what if he… what if he didn’t… you couldn’t even finish the thought. no, you thought. he was going to make it, he was the strongest person you knew. he was the brightest star that shunned.

“i, i just woke up from a dream. where you and i had to say goodbye.”

an hour or two passed by again before the operating sign turned off and a doctor came out. you and mrs. jeong stood up from the floor. all of you greeting the doctor, standing around him as he started to explain in detail jaehyun’s injuries.

“luckily, nothing life-threatning, the surgery was able to go about successfully. though we’re not sure when he’ll wake up, i can guarantee everything went well. it’s a miracle he made it out alive, he truly is a strong one,” the doctor said as he glanced over at jaehyun's parents during the last part. you sighed in relief, finally being able to breath after getting confirmation he truly was alright. 

you all thanked the doctor, and thanked the heavens above that jaehyun had survived everything.

soon, a nurse came out informing you four that he’d been moved to a room and you all quickly rushed over there. your eyes watered again seeing the state he was in. it horrified you seeing all his injuries, small ones and most notably his head injury. you rush to his side, gently taking your hand in his. and you didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore you felt him tighten his hand around yours.

⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ

it’s now been a little over a week since jaehyun’s accident and surgery. you’ve spent everyday by his side, sometimes staying the night. however his mother was growing worried for you and insisted you’d get some rest as well. you just didn’t want to not be by his side when he woke up. and so the days went on, you sat beside his bed. your hand on his, you stared at his face. you prayed and prayed for him to finally awaken, to open those eyes of his you adore so much.

the media was in a disaster the first couple of days, fans and nonfans too praying for his recovery. it came as a shock to everyone. they also arrested the person responsible, he had been under the influence when he crashed into jaehyun’s car. he was the one who ran the red light as jaehyun had just begun to drive.

you continue watching jaehyun when you notice his eyes move, they weren’t opening but they’d twitch. it was almost as if he was trying to open them. you got up, calling his name. your breath got caught in your system when you see him finally pry them open. he mutters something, but you don’t hear as you try calling for a nurse. when you come back you see him looking at you.

“j-jaehyun, is everything alright,” you ask. he doesn’t respond, he just looks at you as if he was trying to recognize you. “don’t worry, i already called a nurse the-” he interrupts you. the words coming out of his mouth, shocking. destroying you, changing your life.

“w-who a-are yo-you?” he asks, voice coming out a bit dry.

“wh-what do yo-you mean? jaehyun, it’s me, y/n… god, no. jaehyun please,” you begin to cry out. you’re refusing to believe what was unfolding, wishing it was some joke. the nurse comes in, seeing an awoken jaehyun and you crying.

you turn to her whisper so jaehyun wouldn’t hear, “h-he doesn’t remember me, wh-what’s wrong. pl-please.” she looks at you then at jaehyun. “ma’am, please calm down for a moment, i’ll go talk to the doctor first,” she says, but you already knew what was happening.

jaehyun had lost his memory, there was no denying that.

you don’t say a word to jaehyun anymore, instead you call mr. lee to inform him of what had just transpired. he tells you he’ll be there in no time. when he arrives, your still a crying mess. however another discovery was made.

“do-dohwa?” jaehyun asks, calling out for his manager. the two of you were shocked, none of this making sense. he remembered his manager, but not you. no, god this was worse. your heart broke to a million pieces. you could feel your world ending, right here, right now.

the nurse came back in, she informed you two that the doctor wanted to conduct a study on jaehyun to see what was going on. you two watched him being transported away. and your tears flowed more.

“h-he doesn’t re-remember me,” you cry out. his manager sits beside you, trying to reassure you, telling you perhaps this was just a temporary thing. that perhaps jaehyun was going to recover his memory soon, it wasn’t going to be anything serious.

yet all your hopes were crushed when the doctor came inside the room to talk to you both. jaehyun had fallen asleep. “he’s lost his memory, precisely memory of around 3 years,” the doctor informs. “is there a chance he could get it back?” mr. lee asks when you can’t even speak up anymore. “it’s hard to say, in most cases they do but there are also those other half who don’t,” the doctor answered. he asked you two if there were any more questions but you both didn’t ask anything more, too shocked by this new discovery.

when the doctor leaves, mr. lee gets up. he walks over to his backpack, opening it and retrieving a small bag. as he walks back to where you sat he hands you the bag. “wh-what’s this? you ask. “open it and you’ll find out,” he just says, it sounded so mysterious. however you do just that, opening the small bag, taking the object outside and into your hands.

a small velvet box.

your heart stops. could this be, you thought. you look up at mr. lee. “they found it in his hand when paramedics arrived, they told they had a hard time removing it from his hand,” mr. lee explained when you open the box. in the middle was the most gorgeous ring you’d ever seen. you couldn’t see anymore.

“it seems he was planning to propose to you,” mr. lee comments. you stayed silent, clutching the box tightly. a beat or two passes before you ask, “co-could you give us a minute.” mr. lee nods his head, stepping out to give you two some space. you get up from your seat and walk over to jaehyun. he was still fast asleep.

you grab onto his hand, tears continuously spilling out as you try gathering what to say to him. “th-thank you jaehyun. thank you for showing me love. thank you for allowing me to love you, for loving me. thank you for thinking of me even as you were dying. thank you for staying strong. thank you for existing. thank you for everything, my beloved.” you had so much to thank him for. “in the course of the year i spent with you, there was never a day i felt sad or regretful because i was with you, in fact that year was the best year of the entirety of my life.”

you let out a choked sob. “i don’t wanna say goodbye to you, goodbye to us. i wished we could’ve spent more time together, be right next to you. and if you ever get your memory back, just know i’d be waiting for you. but until then, our story will have to end here jaehyun.” you lean in to his kiss his cheek before departing. “i’ll love you for all eternity.”

you look at him for one last time before turning around. you’re about to open the door when you turn around again. “and jaehyun, yes i’ll marry you.”

+ + +

“if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you. if the party was over and our time on earth was through, i’d wanna hold you just for a while and die with a smile. if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you.” - die with a smile, bruno mars & lady gaga.

+ + +

© jhdyuiee

2024. 09. 15

final a.n: hey! you've reached the end of die with a smile, it was an emotional roller coaster. i cried writing the ending, it was truly heartbreaking. the story ended up being longer than i had anticipated, but nonetheless i felt it was necessary to include the falling in love to get a better understanding of the loving relationship. unfortunately though i’ve decided to make this a oneshot, so i won’t be making a part two as i feel it’d be best to leave it this way (sorry i have to leave it angsty). anyhow, i hope to all my readers you’ve enjoyed it, cried, and felt a whirlwind of emotions. thank you for your continuous support, i’ll be back in 2 weeks with my next release! look forward to what i have next! thank you once more & i love you all, stay safe out there! jiji out 🤍

[pedrospatch]

a safe haven l ten

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: After a long night, Joel and Ellie take you home.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF AN INJURY SUSTAINED FROM AN ACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PREGNANCY, CONVERSATIONS SURROUNDING PREGNANCY LOSS . PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. Ellie and reader are very close to each other, Joel deals with feelings of guilt, Joel and Maria make nice, Joel gives reader a bath and washes her hair, food consumption (i am just gonna apologize to my lactose intolerant folks right now, trust me i must pretend with you), both reader and Joel have some big feelings, reader mentions her deceased father, angst, soft and domestic Joel, fluff.

word count: 5k

a/n: i have not updated this series since october. :l i feel a a mixed bag of emotions updating after all this time, but most of all, i am grateful to know there are a couple of people out there who are still invested in this story. to anyone who has been waiting: truly, it means the world that you have shown me patience, support, and kindness. believe me, i am going to be seeing this story to the end, and it is all thanks to those who continue to show this lil story of mine a whole lotta love. special shoutout to the loveliest human @mrsmando who made me this beautiful mooodboard every single time i got stuck during this chapter, i looked at it and it gave me the boost of inspiration i needed. thank you mimi <33 this chapter is fairly tame, the next chapter is already in the works, and there are a couple of time jumps coming. overall, we are down to the last handful of chapters. let’s finish this story and give these two the ending they deserve, shall we?

“What the hell is taking Tommy so fucking long?” Ellie whines. She’s sprawled out on the couch with her head in your lap, and her arm draped over her eyes. Her feet are hanging, dangling over the edge of the couch at an odd angle after you’d warned her not to get muck from her sneakers on the linen fabric. Despite Joel insisting over and over that she head on back to the house, she had stubbornly refused, not wanting to leave your side. “It’s been over two hours! He’s taking fucking forever, man. What’s the fucking hold up?”

Joel bites back a sigh, masking his own impatience. Or at least, he tries. He’s grown just as restless as the kid, if not more. Much like Ellie, he’s desperate. He’s itching to take you home already, almost too anxious to watch you take that first step over his threshold, and into your new life with him and with Ellie. He aches, aches, to get you settled into the place where you would be spending the remainder of your days with one another, where you would be safe, and loved in the way you deserved to be loved—the place where he would cherish and adore you until his final breath.

“Don’t know,” he answers, his voice sounding rougher, more gruff than usual. Reaching up, he scrubs his hand down the side of his face, adding tiredly, “He might be a while longer, kiddo. It could be another hour, could be more. Like I already told you, s’probably best if you just go on and head back to the house without us, alright?”

“No. I’m not walking out that fucking door unless she’s with me.” She pauses and pulls her arm away from her face for a moment, just long enough to throw a teeny glare his way. “Unless you’re both with me. The three of us go home together, or it’s no fucking deal. Got it?”

He shakes his head in utter exasperation.

“Ellie, we’ll be right here down the fuckin’ road—”

Her hand shoots out and she flips him off.

Just when he’s about to chastise her, he stops himself, clamping his mouth shut. It’s pointless.

Kid’s too goddamn hard headed for her own good, and Joel knows he’s just wasting his breath with her.

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” you reassure them both, weaving your fingers through her hair to scratch at her scalp in an effort to soothe her. “Right, Joel?”

He meets your exhausted, worn down gaze from where he’s standing across the room, and his heart lurches in his chest. As the guilt begins creeping in, he’s forced to look away. He can’t imagine the living hell you had been through over the last twenty four hours alone. And the worst part about it was the realization that last night, while he was fast asleep in bed just a couple of houses up the road, that fucking bastard had his belt wrapped around your throat.

Joel feels sick to his fucking stomach all over again.

Horrifying, vividly real images of you helplessly trapped underneath Luke scratching and clawing at the leather around your neck with trembling fingers, struggling to breathe oxygen into your burning lungs as he tugged it tighter and tighter through the buckle flash in his mind, a gruesome nightmare turned into reality.

Exactly how far had Luke taken it?

Until you had grown too weak to keep fighting?

Until you almost lost complete consciousness?

Until he noticed the life threatening to leave your eyes?

Is that when he had finally stopped pulling on the belt?

Joel shudders, a bitter taste climbing up his throat as it sinks in. He could have lost you—and his unborn child.

This shouldn’t have happened.

He shouldn’t have let you walk away that night.

This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t let you walk away from him that night.

“Joel,” you say his name, quiet and weary.

His head snaps back in your direction and he glances at you, almost missing the subtle shake of your head. It is a silent warning telling him not to go there, though you know by the tight clench of his jaw it’s too late for that.

Joel makes the futile attempt to hide it, but he sees it written all over your face—you know what he’s thinking because you know him like the back of your own hand, and you just know he’s placing all of the blame for what happened to you on his own shoulders.

But can you honestly fault him for that?

How can you expect him not to feel like he is somehow responsible for this? Just how the hell is he supposed to make himself believe he hadn’t failed you?

Joel promised—he had fucking promised you—that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. He had sworn to keep you safe, made a vow to protect you from Luke, but here you are, your soft, delicate flesh marred with the painful evidence of yet another one of his failures.

And it was all because he had let you walk away on that fucking night.

He should have done something.

Even if it meant running the risk of you never speaking to him again—even if you never forgave him, spent the rest of your life angry and hating him for going against your wishes. He should have something.

“Joel—”

“Be right back,” he mutters, lightly shaking his head.

Shoving away from the doorframe he’s leaning against, Joel pivots on the heel of his boot and starts down the hallway. He walks into the kitchen where he finds Maria standing at the counter, tapping her fingers against the smooth, laminated oakwood as she waits for the coffee she’d offered him a few minutes ago to finish brewing. She’d offered to whip up a quick supper, but food was the last thing on everyone’s mind.

“Tommy’s been gone for a couple hours now. Girls are startin’ to get real tired of just sittin’ around waitin’ for him to come back,” he tells her, exhaling the sigh he’d held back in the living room. “What do you think could be keepin’ him so long?”

With her back still to him, Maria reminds him, “Well, he did mention he was going to round up the council and get them together for an emergency meeting.” She lets out a sigh that matches his own—it’s been a long night for her, too. When the last drop of dark roast drips into the glass pot, she carefully takes the pot by the plastic handle and pours the steaming coffee into a speckled, white and blue ceramic mug. “Do you take it with milk and sugar?”

“No thanks, that’s alright,” he declines as politely as he can.

“I also have cinnamon if you’d like?”

“Plain black’s just fine.” He gives her a nod of gratitude when she hands it to him. “Thank you. And I don’t just mean the coffee, but for, uh—for bandagin’ up my hand for me, too.” He clocks the brief look of surprise on her face and almost laughs. He doesn’t blame her for being taken aback, because truth be told, so is he. Since he’d met Maria, he had known she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. There was something of a mutual understanding between them, a silent agreement they had made to keep each other at arm’s length, to only interact when it was absolutely necessary.

Never did he think he would be standing in her kitchen, thanking her for patching up his hand, and for making him a cup of coffee out of the kindness of her heart.

His brother wouldn’t believe it.

“Don’t mention it.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she leans back against the counter. “How’s it feel, by the way?”

“S’fine,” he replies, shrugging. “Nothin’ I can’t handle.”

There’s a momentary silence. A taste of tension lingers over their heads, and he knows at one point or another, he’s going to have to address the affair, the very reason everything had unfolded in such a terrible manner.

Guess now’s as good a time as fuckin’ any, he thinks to himself with an inward sigh.

Joel lightly clears his throat. “Listen, since we’ve got a minute alone, just the two of us, I was wonderin’ if, uh—if we could talk ‘bout somethin’? If that’s alright?”

“Of course.” Maria gives him the floor.

“I know that she—” Pausing, he shuffles from the heel of one boot to the other, his ears burning hot. He had known it wouldn’t be an easy conversation to have, but he underestimated just how uncomfortable it would be, regardless of what she already knew. “I know she told you and Tommy all ‘bout us, and ‘bout our relationship. See, the thing is, the first time I saw her—”

Again, Joel stops, the burning sensation now radiating, spreading from his ears to his face and down his neck, flushing his skin a deep, deep shade of pink. Unable to meet his sister in law’s gaze, he glances down into his mug, as if he will somehow find the right words to say somewhere in the depths of his coffee.

“It was never my intention, y’know,” he finally says after a minute. “Goin’ after a married woman. I swear, I never meant to fall for her. I just fuckin’ did. I think I might’ve fallen for her long before I even met her,” he confesses. He feels himself darken to a shade of maroon under her curious stare. “And somehow, for reasons I ain’t all too sure I’ll ever understand, she fell for me too.”

Maria raises an eyebrow at him. “Look, I’m not judging you, Joel,” she assures him, shaking her head. “If that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not judging her, either.”

He looks up at her, blurting out, “You’re not?”

She moves her hands to cradle her swollen middle. “Do I wish you two had handled everything differently?” she answers her own query with a nod of her head. “Oh, I’m sure we all do. But I’ve known her for a long time now. I know the kind of woman she is. And I’m starting to see the kind of man you are.”

“And what kinda man is that, Maria?”

He waits without the slightest clue as to what she could possibly say.

“Since you came back to Jackson, I’ve chosen to keep my distance from you—but make no mistake, I’ve been watching you like a hawk since day one. Waiting for any signs of trouble. Waiting for you to fuck up. Waiting for you to give me a good reason to throw your ass out of this community because I didn’t trust you. Not after all the things I was told about you.”

He snorts. “You goin’ somewhere with this?”

“You are not who I thought you were,” Maria admits, smiling wryly. “I’ve gotten to see a different side of you. You pull your weight around here by doing your job and doing it well. You stay out of trouble—for the most part. And more importantly, I have seen the way that you’ve stepped up to be a father figure to Ellie. It takes a good man to do that, Joel.”

“Think that’s the nicest fuckin’ thing you’ve ever said to me,” he muses, setting his mug down on the counter. “I stepped up because I love her. I love them both. Those two, they’re the best parts of me. They’re the reasons I keep goin’ and now I’ve got another reason on the way.”

Maria smiles, but it vanishes as quickly as it appears.

Catching her hesitance, Joel asks, “What? What is it?”

“What comes next is not going to be easy,” she warns him, lowering her voice. Even with the living room a fair distance from the kitchen, she doesn’t want to run the risk of you overhearing her. “For as hard as we’re going to try to contain the fire, it will spread, and everyone in this town will find out about everything—including the affair. People are going to talk, and believe me, they’re going to have a whole lot to say about it, Joel.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes at her.

“Think I can handle some fuckin’ gossip, Maria.”

“I know you can. But I’m not sure if she can,” Maria tells him, quietly. “It worries me. She’s been through a lot in just one night alone. I don’t want her stressing anymore than she already has. She is in a very delicate stage of her pregnancy right now, Joel. If she’s not careful, she could have a miscarriage. She had one about two years ago when her father became sick—” Observing his lack of a reaction, she realizes, “You knew that already.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. He knows where she’s going with this. “I did. She told me ‘bout it.”

“It makes her chances of having another one higher—”

Joel doesn’t even allow himself to think of it happening to you again. “I get it,” he interjects, trying not to sound too curt. “I’ll make sure she takes it real easy, alright?”

Lifting a hand off her belly, she reaches out and takes a hold of his forearm, gripping it tightly.

“Promise me something, Joel. Promise me that you’ll look after her,” Maria pleads him, gently. “Please. After everything she’s been through—I need you to promise me that she’s going to be in good hands with you.”

He nods. Without thinking, he places his hand over hers in an unexpected token of affection and reassurance. “You have my word, Maria. I’ll take good care of her.”

She gives his arm a grateful squeeze, then glances over his shoulder at the clock on the wall. “It’s getting pretty late. We don’t know how much longer Tommy’s going to be with the council. Why don’t we just go ahead and call it a night?” she suggests. “We can all get together first thing in the morning at your place to talk about it.”

“Yeah, good idea,” he agrees. “She really needs to rest.”

Maria gives his arm another squeeze. 

“Go on then, Joel. Take your girls home.”

“Finally!” Ellie exclaims with a dramatic flail of her arms as she shoves through the front door.

“Alright, kiddo. Get your behind upstairs and into the shower,” Joel instructs her, flipping on the lights in the foyer. “Y’smell like fuckin’ horse shit.”

She lifts the collar of her shirt to her nose, takes a whiff, and makes a face. “Yeah, I won’t argue with you there,” she mutters. She toes off her dirty sneakers and leaves them beside the door before dashing up the staircase, taking two steps at a time.

He shouts after her, “And don’t use up all the hot—”

“Yeah, yeah, I fucking know the rules, dude!”

Moments later, you both hear the shower going.

“Little shit,” he grumbles.

You exhale an amused huff through your nose.

Joel withdraws his arm from around your shoulders and reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together. “C’mon, darlin’.” He guides you up the stairs and down the hallway into his bedroom where he switches on the light before proceeding to lead you over to his dresser. “I’ve got a bunch of shirts in this top drawer here,” he says. Dropping your hand, he pulls it open for you and gestures to it with a jut of his chin as he takes a step backwards, moving out of the way. “Go ahead and pick one to sleep in tonight. Want you to be comfortable, so help yourself to whichever one you want, sweet girl.”

Nodding, you begin to rummage through the drawer, unaware of the moment he slips away. You reach for a t-shirt, but then a plaid green flannel catches your eye. You pluck it from the drawer, running your fingers over the soft, warm fabric. “Is it alright if I wear—?” You turn around, stopping mid sentence when you realize he’s no longer standing behind you. Puzzled, you follow the sound of running water into the bathroom where you find him kneeling beside the tub. “Joel? What are you doing?”

“Runnin’ you a bath.”

You notice the bloodied bandage beside him on the tile floor. “Joel, are you serious?” you scold him. “Maria just patched your hand up for you.”

“S’okay, peach. I can rewrap it when we’re done.” Joel sticks his injured hand under the faucet to check the temperature, the cold water soothing his cuts. Once it turns warm, then hot, he pulls out his hand, waiting for the tub to fill halfway before shutting the faucet off and rising to his feet. “C’mere, sweetheart.” He rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his forearms, then beckons for you with both of his hands. “Let’s get you washed up.”

You remain standing by the door. “Joel, you don’t have to do this for me.”

“I know.”

“I’m capable of washing myself—”

“Yeah, I know that too,” he says, chuckling. “S’only fair, darlin’. Don’t you think?”

That’s when it hits you—how this moment is mirroring that night you had cleaned Joel up after you and Ellie had brought him home from the clinic with an injured shoulder. He allowed you to take care of him, and now, he was looking to do the same for you. And all you had to do was let him.

“But your hand—”

“Will be just fine,” Joel persists, stubbornly. “It’s nothin’ but a few cuts and scrapes. C’mon—or else I’m gonna march right over there and get you myself, peach.”

Knowing Joel, you certainly wouldn’t put it past him to throw you over his should and carry you to the bathtub.

“Fine,” you relent with a small sigh of defeat.

Setting his shirt down on the sink, you slowly walk over towards him and whirl around, letting him help you out of your knitted cardigan. You finish undressing yourself, inhaling a deep breath as you muster up the courage to turn back around and face him—when you finally do, it feels like a punch to the gut to see the heartbreak in his dark brown eyes, the subtle tremble of his bottom lip. You don’t have to look at yourself in the mirror to know it looks about a hundred times worse when you’re not wearing clothes.

Keeping your arms down at your sides, you fight every urge to cover yourself up. You’ve never felt so fucking vulnerable.

Clearing his throat, Joel holds out his hand. “C’mere.”

You accept it, and he helps you into the tub.

“How’s the water? S’not too hot, is it?”

You shake your head and he leans forward, kissing your temple so sweetly, your eyes flutter closed.

He washes your hair first, then takes a clean washcloth, lathering it up with a bar of milk and honey soap—the same soap he would smell on your skin all those nights. Admittedly, Joel preferred castile soap, but switched it when he found himself missing you during those weeks you were apart from him, when he needed the comfort of your scent. He is gentle with you, so gentle, as if he’s afraid you’ll shatter into pieces in his hands.

As he lightly drags the washcloth up your back and around your neck, you stiffen, prompting him to freeze too. “Fuck. Baby, did I hurt you?” he asks, and you hear the slight panic in his tone.

“No,” you say quickly, desperately trying to swallow the lump rising in your throat. “No, you didn’t hurt me. It’s just—” Every overwhelming emotion slams into you all at once, and you can’t seem to figure out which one to feel first. Humiliation? Fear? Relief?

The water sloshes around you as you pull your legs up to your chest and wrap your arms around your knees, giving yourself permission to feel them all. Bowing your head, you begin to sob quietly, hoping that Ellie, who is just down the hallway, won’t hear you crying again.

Joel says nothing. Washcloth still clutched in his hand, he leans forward over the edge of the tub and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, or at least, as close as the barrier between the two of you will allow him.

“Joel,” you choke, trying to push him off. “Stop it. Your clothes, they’re getting all wet.”

“Hush. Don’t fuckin’ care ‘bout my clothes,” he croaks, and for a second, you swear he’s about to cry too. But he doesn’t. He holds himself strong. Tugging you closer against his chest, he buries his nose into your soaking wet hair, whispering his reassurance. “You’re okay, baby. You’re safe, my sweet girl. I’ve got you, alright?”

He pulls back slightly, dipping his hand into the water, placing it on your lower belly.

You look down, your eyes glazing over his bruised and battered knuckles. Proof that Joel Miller really would do anything for you.

“I know you do,” you say, softly. “I know you’ve got me, Joel.”

A while later, you’re dried, dressed, and composed. You follow Joel out of the bathroom and back into his room, where he has you take a seat on the bed. Noticing you had missed a button on his flannel shirt, he does it for you. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and says, “Give me a minute while I change.”

He peels off his wet clothes, being careful so as not to further agitate his sore, injured hand. After changing into a pair of gray sweatpants and an old, faded black t-shirt, he turns around only to find you’re sitting in bed underneath the covers.

“Sorry,” you apologize with a nervous chuckle as you rest your back against the headboard. “It just looked so warm and cozy—and it smells like you. I couldn’t resist making myself comfortable.”

Joel pads over to the side of the bed. He leans over, planting one hand on either side of you as he dips his head and brushes his lips against yours. “Ain’t got no reason to apologize, baby,” he assures you in a gentle murmur. “This is your bed now too, peach. This is your room. This is your home. Alright?”

Home.

You’re home.

He touches the tip of his nose to yours, and then draws himself back up to full height. “There’s somethin’ that I’ve gotta take care of downstairs, peach. I won’t be too long,” he promises.

It’s almost midnight. Joel goes about the kitchen and he prepares you the quickest meal that he can think of. He plates the sandwich he’d thrown together and pours a glass of cow’s milk—he’s always sure to keep a pint of it in the refrigerator to make the kid her oatmeal in the mornings.

He heads back upstairs, only to find that while he had been gone, Ellie had joined you, making herself a little too comfortable on his side of the bed. He stands there at the door, watching the two of you.

“Hey, so is it true babies can hear stuff while they’re in there?” Ellie questions you, curiously.

“Mhm,” you reply with a nod. “They can hear music, for example. Voices—”

“Voices?” She smushes her face into your stomach and he hears a muffled, “Hey, dude!”

You giggle. “Ellie, I think it’s still a little too early.”

“When do you think it’ll be able to hear me?”

“I’m not too sure. In a few months, maybe?”

Ellie lifts her head, humming. “You know, I bet there’s baby books in the library,” she tells you as she sits up. “I’ll have Dina help me look for one tommor—oh shit.” She stares at you with wide eyes. “Dina! How are you going to tell her and Talia about Luke?”

Joel grimaces. He hadn’t thought of that, either.

“I—I’m not too sure.”

“You have to fucking tell them. Dina has to know about him. She has to know what a piece of shit he is, and so does Talia.”

Sensing your discomfort, Joel steps into the bedroom and intervenes before she can say another word. “Ellie, get to bed. S’late.”

“But—”

“Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns her, sternly.

She huffs, rolling her eyes. “Fine.” She climbs off the bed and on her way out, she eyes the plate in his hand. “That chicken?”

“Turkey. And it ain’t for you, it’s for her. So scram, kid.”

“Couldn’t have made me one while you were at it, old man?”

“Ellie, if you don’t get outta here right now—”

“Alright!” Ellie holds her hands up. “I’m leaving. Jesus.”

She disappears, closing the door behind her.

“Pain in my ass,” Joel mumbles, shaking his head as he walks over and carefully perches himself beside you. He hands you the plate. “Here, darlin’.”

“Joel, I appreciate this, but I’m really not very hungry.”

“Maybe not, but y’gotta eat,” he insists. “Baby needs it.”

Thankfully, you accept it without further protest.

“I’ll have Ellie get your things tomorrow,” Joel states as you’re eating. “Maria can go along with her since she knows the house. They’ll get your clothes and whatever else you might need outta there.”

“My father’s belongings.” You accidentally talk through a mouthful of turkey and bread. Swallowing, you tell him, “I have some boxes of his stuff in the basement. But they’re way too heavy for either of them to carry.”

“I’ll take care of that for you.” He reaches up, wiping a breadcrumb from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “I can ask Tommy to give me a hand. Don’t you worry, peach. We won’t leave your dad’s things behind, I swear it.”

Relieved, you shoot him a grateful look, then polish off the last few bites of your sandwich.

“Here,” he says, offering you the glass of milk. “Figured it’s good for you, and good for the baby. Y’know, since it’s got calcium and…stuff.” He shrugs sheepishly, no clue as to what he’s talking about. “Vitamins, right?”

Nodding, you grab the glass and take a reluctant sip.

“You hate milk,” Joel realizes, raising an eyebrow.

“I do,” you admit with a laugh. “But you’re right. It’s good for both me and the baby, so cheers.” And with that, you somehow force the entire glass down.

He sets the dishes aside on the nightstand, figuring he can take them downstairs first thing in the morning.

Without bothering to rebandage his hand like he’d told you he would, Joel turns off the lights and climbs into bed with you. “All those nights wishin’ I could bring you home,” he muses as you curl into his side. “Wantin’ nothin’ more than to hold you in my arms in this bed. In our bed.” His arm slips around your shoulders, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “Almost doesn’t feel real, darlin’.”

Tilting your head, you nuzzle your nose into the scruff of his beard, prompting him to laugh again. Then, he remembers his conversation with Maria, and his smile fades from his face, his lips pursing together.

You catch the sudden shift in his demeanor.

“Joel? What’s the matter?”

“M’fine, baby. It’s just—” He hesitates. “From this point forward, I need you to let me handle things.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want you gettin’ all stressed out, alright? I don’t want to run the risk of you—” He’s unsure of how to say it.

“Of me losing the baby,” you finish for him, quietly.

Joel winces, knowing he was wandering into sensitive territory. “Yeah. I—I really don’t want that to happen.” He pauses. “Maria mentioned to me you’re in a delicate stage. When do you reckon you’ll stop—how long until you don’t gotta worry ‘bout it?”

“After twelve weeks, my risk isn’t as high. If I make it to the second trimester in six weeks, then my chances of having another miscarriage are lower.”

Though you speak calmly, he clocks your anxiousness.

You’re worried, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fucking worried out of his mind too.

Being a father at his age wasn’t ideal, but he wanted this child. It was part of him, and more importantly, it was a part of you.

Joel squeezes your shoulders. “I only ask ‘cause I was thinkin’ that, y’know, once we get to that point, maybe I can go ahead and start buildin’ the baby’s crib.”

“You’re going to build the crib?”

He nods. “And the highchair too. I can even make you a diaper changin’ table if y’want one.”

“Joel.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Our worlds were just turned completely upside down. You just found out that I’m pregnant, and you’re already thinking about building furniture? Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?”

“Hey, those things take a whole ‘lotta time,” he says in defense of himself. “Besides, winter’s right around the corner and I don’t wanna be out in the garage freezin’ my fuckin’ ass off. If I can get a head start now, I can have them all done in the spring by the time the baby comes.”

You fall silent.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m really scared of losing it,” you confess. “When I first took that pregnancy test, I wanted nothing more for it to be negative. Now, I’m terrified I won’t make it past my first trimester again. I really don’t want to lose it. I want this baby, Joel.”

He turns his head, meeting your eyes in the silver light shining through the lace curtains over his window. “S’why you’ve gotta let me handle things, darlin’. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“C’mere, my sweet girl.” Joel presses his lips to yours, murmuring against them, “I love you.”

His declaration comes with natural ease.

And so does yours.

“I love you too, Joel.”

[blueywrites]

someday I'll get it

eddie munson x fem!reader eddie comforts you when the lingering memory of your ex brings shame with soaked sheets.

3.1k

cw: 18+. toxic ex, feelings of self-doubt, referenced verbal abuse, hurt/comfort, smut, squirting, first time piv with new partner, no y/n, no physical descriptions.

this is for my fellow infps & all the girlies who fall fast and hard. a bit of a departure from the other naughty nights entries - not as filthy, quite a bit more emotional. I really liked writing it! check out the original ask here.

enjoy xx

Two months after you and David broke up, you downloaded Hinge. Your best friend helped you make your profile, and after some careful crafting over brunch mimosas to soften the flaws you saw in your photos and loosen your lips to make you clever in your bio, you were happy with the facsimile of yourself you’d presented to the dating public. The nerves only crept in during the Uber ride back to your apartment. What if no one liked you? What if what David said— that you’d never find someone that cared about you like he did— turned out to be right? You knew, deep down, that David’s idea of ‘care’ was not what you wanted. But as the weeks went by, your hope began to dwindle; your heart shriveled a little more each time a potential connection faltered and died. And though you kept reminding yourself how bad things were with him, how small he made you feel and how little he truly gave you, you couldn’t help the fragment inside you that hissed in a raspy twang:

Maybe I’m all you’re good enough for. Maybe my love is all you really deserve, and without me, you’ll just end up alone.

And then you found Eddie. 

His was the first conversation that lasted longer than a handful of back-and-forth messages, aside from that one rushed first ‘date’ that turned out just to be an attempt to get some dick’s dick wet. Eddie was chatty, maybe a bit excessively so, but you’d take that over the dry single-sentence replies most guys seemed capable of. It was refreshing not to be the one sending double- and triple-texts for once. And he didn’t do it in an anxious way, either, or one that made you feel you weren’t answering quickly enough. It seemed more that he just wanted to talk to you about whatever popped into his head, and that— along with his pretty brown eyes and smile, his lobe piercings and hand tattoos, and that one blurred photo of him playing guitar on some cramped bar stage, looking all sweaty and alive— piqued your interest in a major way.

Eventually, he took you on a first date, which was followed quickly by a second. And after a full month or so of officially seeing one another, now, following an afternoon spent together, you’re in your bed with him— laid out along your sheets, his weight having dipped the mattress beside you enough times that it’s just starting to feel familiar. 

Looking up at Eddie above you, you’re hit again by how sexy he is, sexier than his Hinge profile would’ve suggested, even though that initial photo made your finger pause in the first place. In it, his hair was tied up at the nape of his neck; it’s loose now, hanging around his pale face in loose tangles ‘cause you’d run your fingers through it while he kissed you. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and it is again, except now there’s the pink flush of arousal across his cheeks and a sheen of sweat gleaming off the bulb of his soft nose, visible in the dim light from your lamp. That first time you saw him, Eddie's fingers were wrapped around a tattoo gun, frozen mid-stroke as he carefully etched ink into skin. Now, they’re quite in motion— just as deft and strong, but instead of using them to crawl the needle across the expanse of someone’s back, he’s plunging them into your swollen pussy, winding you up tighter and tighter ‘til you’re writhing on your own sheets.

He’s been at it for a little while now, coaxing your pleasure out with those thrusting fingers and the rough pad of his thumb swiping over your clit. You moan, letting your eyes slip closed as your orgasm starts to rush up, ready to let that wave wash over you before you happily return the favor. But when Eddie presses the heel of his palm firmly into your lower stomach, flicking his thumb faster against your clit as he fingers you, your mounting pleasure twists, thrumming into something more intense. 

Oh, fuck. 

The feeling is ecstasy but beneath it, there’s also panic. Because you know— and dread— what comes next. 

You gasp, choking on the words of warning stuck in your throat, your hand snapping to grip his wrist. You mean to pull it off but you don’t, just clutch him tight in a way he must take as encouragement because he starts to talk you through it. “That’s it, sweetheart, soak my fuckin’ hand—”

It’s inevitable now, so you stop trying to fight it. Like a flipped switch, you release the resistance, leaning into the feeling, which triples in size the moment you do. You seize up, crying out as you cum around Eddie’s fingers— eyelids fluttering, mouth hanging open, the gush of fluid against your inner thighs a secondary sensation to the gut-wrenching orgasm wracking your body. When it subsides, your body feels wrung out in the best way, sunken into the mattress, languid and boneless and like you’re so light you might float away if Eddie wasn’t pressing kisses into your neck like praise.

The peace has to break though. It always does. The second you shift and feel the sodden sheets below you, that familiar shame triggers, quick on the heels of a cruel twang bouncing around your skull. 

You draw your legs up, inadvertently kneeing Eddie in the belly. When he pulls back to look at you, you’re curling into yourself, staring up at him so mournfully his heart must twist ‘cause you can see it written on his face.

He searches your face for a moment. Then Eddie’s eyes widen and his face blanches; you see the concern give way to horror. His adam’s apple bobs on a thick swallow. “A-Are you okay?” Eddie croaks, hovering awkwardly now, seemingly stuck between wanting to reach for you and give you space. “Did I hurt you? Did you not want—?”

He looks sick, but you’re quick to shake your head, feeling even sadder now that you’d made him worry. “No, m’sorry,” you say in a small voice. “I’m so sorry, I’m— I didn’t mean to.” You take a breath that hitches in your chest. “I-I made a mess…”

Instantly, Eddie looks relieved. He even huffs a little disbelieving chuckle. "So? You think I care about a little mess?" he asks, squinting as he tips his head at you, aiming for levity. But his attempt to make light of things can't break through to you— not after all the times you've been here before, cowering in your own cooling puddle as David beat you down with his caustic words, leaving you with bruises on the inside of your ribs. 

When your expression crumples further, any amusement slides off Eddie's face, leaving him utterly somber. Quietly, he says your name. "Are you alright?"

Your mouth works soundlessly for a moment before you find your voice. It feels jagged, like it’s been broken apart and splintered back together. “My ex… he used to get really mad when that happened. Said it was gross, that it was my fault now he’d have to wash the sheets.” An ache rises up your throat, and you avert your eyes. “He’d make me do it and change the bed before I could go to sleep.”

A severe wrinkle forms between Eddie’s brows— confusion, indignation, maybe both. “Wait, but— couldn’t he feel it coming? It feels different inside when a girl’s gonna squirt. Why would he keep doing it if he didn’t want you to?” He’s plain, as direct as he always is, and in the face of such a bald question, you have nothing to reply with but the barest shrug of shoulders weighed heavy under a burden you haven’t yet been able to shed.

When some seconds pass in silence, Eddie realizes you aren’t going to elaborate. He softens. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “For what it’s worth, sex is supposed to be messy. And I really wanted to make you feel good. I’m glad I did.”

You can’t see them, but you can feel his fingertips brush against your ankle. When you nudge into the touch, he places a tentative hand on your foot, letting his thumb press into the center just below your toes. He raises his eyebrows, looking something like a puppy dog. “D’you wanna take a break? Can I get you some water?”

You shake your head, then open your hands to him— not quite able to extend your arms out for a hug, feeling too brittle and pathetic to make your wanting so obvious. You find with relief that Eddie is perceptive enough to know what the gesture means. Carefully, he leans over you and plants his palms beside your upper arms, sliding them under to fold you in. When he goes to lower himself in a slant on top of you, you let your knees fall open in a silent invitation instead. You’re very happy you did when, after some mutual shifting and shimmying to make yourselves comfortable, Eddie’s weight slots against you— your collarbone to his chest, his lap held in the cradle of your thighs, your arms wound underneath his to clutch his bare back as he presses you into a comforting embrace.

You focus on the feeling of Eddie on top of you— his belly expanding and contracting against your navel, his heat seeping into you head-to-toe, his herb-musk scent clinging to his shoulder when you tuck your face there, slowly letting him ease you. For a while, you breathe into him like that, letting yourself sink into the intimacy of all his bare skin against yours until the physical sensations swallow up that hissing voice, and it finally falls silent. With a heavy sigh of relief, the last of the lingering tension from the memory of David leaves you. 

Finding you now relaxed, Eddie hums against your hair, a rumble that sounds like satisfaction with himself that he was able to bring you comfort. He untucks one of his hands from beneath you then, shifts his arm along your sheets so his forearm frames your head. You pull your face from his hot skin, letting your head thump back against the mattress as the final surrender to your recovery. 

Eddie’s thumb strokes along your hairline as he looks down at you, his hips cradled by yours, his flagging but still present erection pressed intimately against the crease of your thigh behind his boxers. Quickly, you realize how much easier it was to be embraced like this when he wasn’t looking at you. Under his gaze, you feel exposed, almost too much to bear-- too vulnerable, your soft underbelly revealed for him to sink his teeth into. But he doesn't. Maybe, you think, Eddie never would. Where David had fangs, Eddie's teeth are blunted; capable of damage if he were to try hard enough, but more suited to playful nips, which is all he ever seems to care for anyways, at least for how little long you've known him. He's still new, and you're still learning how it feels for him to see you and decide what he'll do with what he finds. 

It's thrilling and downright scary to let him, but you let him. You blink up at Eddie, deliberately resisting the urge to master your expression and hide from him. Your heart thuds and squirms as he observes you for a long moment, still stroking your forehead with his thumb like you're a skittish rabbit, kept only from fleeing by a gentle, hypnotizing touch. 

After a long moment, Eddie's features ease. One corner of his lips tugs up into a crooked, dimpled smile. "Pretty girl," he murmurs, and something releases inside you. Your hands skate down the hot plain of his back, skimming slowly over its topography-- the elegant jut of his shoulder blades, the solid strength of his lats, the low, curved dip just before the hill of his covered cheeks. Those you spread your fingers over, gently pulling him in closer to you, and you flutter at the shaky breath he exhales over your lips as his shaft presses tighter between your bodies.

"You want to?" he whispers, his eyes flitting between yours. You know what he’s asking. In the month you’ve been together, you’ve done pretty much everything but gone all the way with him. You weren’t waiting for anything in particular, more just a sense that it would feel right to connect with him that way.

You feel that now.

So you respond with a kiss— firm, decisive, one that Eddie opens his mouth instantly to. His tongue finds yours eagerly, slick muscle against slick muscle, and the wet sounds of you meeting and parting have your arousal stirring up into a flurry of excitement and desire. Your fingertips ease beneath the waistband of his boxers, pushing the fabric down to bare him, and you crane your neck to keep kissing him until eventually you can’t reach any lower. Eddie helps you shimmy them off then, his lips falling still as he concentrates on wiggling his hips and kicking his legs to get them down to his ankles. You feel him kick one final time, followed by the faint shlump of fabric hitting the ground before he’s suddenly propped on his elbows and his hands are cupping your cheeks, tilting your face to kiss you so thoroughly it steals your breath away.

And you think— expect, maybe— that now that you’re about to have sex, the energy between you and Eddie will keep escalating until you’re caught up in a rush: both panting, desperate, fervent in your need for completion. But it doesn’t happen like that. Instead, your kisses slow, turning into lingering, open-mouthed presses, a sensual ebb and flow of lips and tongue and teeth— deep, savoring, as if the pleasure of what you’ll both feel when he joins with you is so certain, there’s no need to hurry it along. You raise your knee to open yourself up, and with a nudge of Eddie’s narrow hips, his shaft nestles into the slick wetness between your puffy lips. You press up to meet him, grinding slowly in time with your kisses until your abundant arousal coats him thoroughly, easing the way for you to reach down and guide his tip to catch at your entrance. And when you lift your legs, joining your ankles at the back of his thighs, you feel Eddie enter you for the first time.

There’s no resistance. It’s just a slip, a glide, and an exquisite stretch as he sinks inside, splitting you with his thickness. Eddie moans low as his cockhead meets the deepest part of you. It’s a gravelly sound, one that rumbles against your breasts when you twine your limbs tighter around him, already covetous of the feeling of him touching every bit of you he possibly can. Your pussy flexes and flutters, testing the welcome intrusion, preening when she elicits an answering twitch from his length before he draws just slightly back and rocks in again. You sigh softly, smiling as your eyes slip closed when you feel Eddie’s curved lips press to your temple. 

The rhythm you find together is natural, if rather shallow— shallow because your hands are clutching at his back and his arms are wrapped tight around you, keeping you close as can be. He can’t pull even halfway out; his hips rock in the barest gap that remains as if neither of you can stand even that much distance. There’s no lack of enthusiasm, though, no lack of passion as he pushes in so tight that the pressure has your swollen clit jolting with a delicious spark on every thrust. The heat between you grows, turning you sticky and damp with sweat down the length of your bodies. The pleasure grows too, quickly for you with all the stimulation until you’re panting against his shoulder. It grows unimpeded until Eddie nestles his face down further toward you, inadvertently feeding you a mouthful of his hair.

You turn your cheek and try to spit it out, but the thick, dry strands stick stubbornly to your lips until you have to enlist his help. "Your hair's everywhere, Eddie,” you murmur, more amused than anything.

"Ah, shit.” You have to hide a smile against his jaw at how put out he sounds. “Sorry." He tries to shake it away from you, craning his neck back but unwilling to stop embracing you.

"S' okay." Gently, you extract your arms from under his, huffing a little chuckle at the tiny whine of protest that rumbles in his throat. He props himself up so you can carefully clear his face: nudging his bangs out of his eyes, then pushing back the bulk of his curls, tucking them tenderly behind his ears. 

"There," you say, sweet and warm, your smile growing at the way the hair almost springs right out again. Unable to be contained, a lot like Eddie. 

A lot like the way you feel about him. 

"I love your hair," you tell him suddenly, your heart twisting at the way he lights up in response. Eddie rubs the very tip of his nose against yours, smiling boyish and wide, and emotion wells up inside you-- potent and poignant like the sting of happy tears, sweet like coming home and tender like a bruise all at once. 

And it’s like the second you say it, you can’t stop thinking about what words really want to spring from your lips. But it's too soon, far too soon, so you cup his face, draw your thumb along his cheek, and kiss him instead, keeping yourself occupied so those words will stay inside.

You kiss him until he’s moving steadily within you again; kiss him until you’re squirming beneath him, whining into his mouth. Kiss him as he drives you over the edge of bliss and then follows you, groaning when he throbs and spills inside. You kiss Eddie until the pleasure fades into contentment, until you both are sated, until those kisses gradually slow and gentle and turn to chaste presses of swollen, love-bitten lips.

Your mouths finally part. And when you see the way Eddie’s looking at you— the curl at the corner of his lips, the subtle tilt of his brow, the warmth in his deep brown eyes— you remember what David told you before you made him leave.

You’ll never find someone who cares about you the way I do.

You knew he was wrong then. But now, you know it.

[jarofstyles]

The Favor 8

Hey...😁 So this is basically all filth but there's a lot of realization in it so it's educational filth!

What do you think of this growth?

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The Favor Masterlist

WC- 7.8k

Warnings- buckle up- Daddy kink, anal, BDSM, dom/sub dynamic, both soft and mean dom H, possessive H, spitting, use of sex toys, impact play, spanking.. probably more tbh. let me know if I missed one!!!

------------------------------------------

Y/N could feel a shift in them, but she couldn’t exactly pinpoint where it started. 

Sitting in his bed, she had him standing on the side with her back towards him as nimble fingers curled into her hair as he brought them back into a plait. And for some reason, it felt more intimate than anything else they’d done so far. 

Getting back from the bar, Harry had been adamant that she take a quick shower and dry her hair, welcoming her back in with some cut up fruit and juice to have while he did her hair for her. No one had done it for her since her mum, and that was when she was just a wee little thing. 

Sitting in her nightie she’d packed specifically for his viewing pleasure, he’d given her a long look before muttering to her to get on the bed before he lost it again. 

So she did, following instructions yet again as he had hair ties from when he said his hair was longer. He was increasingly gentle, careful not to snag any knots as he moved her hair around and smoothed it back to avoid any weird spots or bubbles in the hair. When she asked why, he had simply said he wanted her hair out of her face. 

Considering they were going to the illusive club tomorrow, questions kept cropping up in her brain and it felt increasingly difficult to keep them from spewing out of her mouth, so she allowed them to be set free. Harry had always been good with her questions before, but she’d been a little nervous about ruining the comfortable silence they’d fallen into. 

“Do they know you at the club pretty well?” His fingers faltered in her hair at the question but only for a moment before righting themselves. 

“They do, yes. I had been a frequent flyer but I haven't been in a bit.” His voice was calm and gentle, much like his hands. It amazed her how rough and mean he could be during sex, could smack her and choke her, call her a set of holes, but the moment it stopped he treated her like the most delicate little flower whose petals were worth millions. It had thrown her off at first, she had to admit, but now it was something she was growing to look forward to. It was rare she got handled like she was precious and at first she had to admit it made her uneasy, but now? Now she was leaning into it like a kitten searching for pets. 

“May I ask why you stopped?” She was extremely curious about it, considering that had been the catalyst of their arrangement, but Y/N didn’t want to push too far into uncomfortable territory for him. 

“Well…” There was a sigh behind her. “I didn’t have a sub of my own and hooking up with someone for a single night isn’t fulfilling to me anymore. I desire a connection, trust… It had been hard for me lately to get into the headspace with someone I’d just met and wasn’t going to see again.” There was a pause as he finished the plait, fastening it with the hair tie. “Lately I’ve just been craving intimacy and a connection. For me, half of the fun of the lifestyle is having that trust. How much can you trust someone after an hour, y’know? It’s partially why I had us meet and discuss prior to even doing anything, and I took it slow with you. I didn’t just fuck you right then and there. A good dom would get to know you and have proper conversations before playing with you.” But internally, he really did hope no one else would get that privilege but himself. 

“I understand.” She turned around to face him, looking up at his still standing face from her position sitting with her legs crossed in a pretzel. “I was worried at first… you know, when we agreed to this. I’ve been eager to try, but I was also really nervous. I was nervous you’d not find me attractive or something I wanted to try would freak you out. Or…” There was a debate in her mind if she wanted to say it or not, but considering what had happened tonight, she decided to say it. “Or you’d just view sex as some sort of favor and not actually enjoy it.” 

It made him frown when she dropped her eyes from his own, fiddling with her fingers and avoiding contact. That was the last thing he’d thought of. If anything, he forgot about the Danny part and focused on building a dynamic with her far more than he should considering the consequences but he knew she wasn’t dumb. Even if they both didn’t say it, there was something deeper there. And while he wasn’t quite brave enough to admit feelings fully, he wasn’t about to let her think any bit of that could ever be true. 

“I enjoy it far more than I ever anticipated, and ever should have.” He said quietly, tapping her chin. “Look at me while we’re talking, darling- thank you.” A softer smile curled on his lips as he allowed himself to stroke her cheek, taking a deep inhale. “Don’t worry about any single part of that. I think… you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve set my eyes on. There’s a reason I didn’t talk to you so much when you were around. I knew my attraction to you would grow and you were someone else's… This was a twist of fate.” The admission made her eyes widen slightly but he wasn’t done. “And not a single thing you’ve mentioned has freaked me out. As someone with my background growing up and experiencing the community full force, I’ve seen it all and m’willing to try anything with you.” There was a twinge in his heart as she rested her cheek in his palm, giving him the softest eyes he’d ever seen in his life. He could see that she trusted him, but he had to ask. “Do you trust me, Y/N?” The question lingered in the air as he searched her features.

“I do.” There wasn’t a lick of hesitation. The girl held more trust in him than she did her own boyfriend which… she’d need to unpack later. “I know you’d never hurt me and have my best interest at heart.” It had been proven as much tonight when he’d stuck up for her, that he’d been so irritated with the other man for ignoring her, that he gave a fuck about how she felt. There were texts every day asking how her job was, if she ate, what she was doing to unwind, placing more care and interest in her than she’d felt in a long time. 

“I do, sweetheart. I really do. I care about you a lot.” The murmur was soft, their voices hushed even though no one could overhear. “I want t’make all of those fantasies you have come true. The one we talked about. I’ll take care of you, okay?” He felt her nod against his hand before gripping his wrist and pulling it towards her mouth. There was nothing said as he let her do what she wanted while watching curiously. The twinkle of mischief rose in her eye again, sparking a flame in his stomach as she exposed her pink tongue to him and brought the fingers that had been stroking her cunt while they were out into her mouth. 

Hearing him talk so sweetly about her had turned her on again. She’d been good tonight, at least she thinks so, but she wanted to tease him a little bit. Didn’t he know that being so nice to her would work her up? Couldn’t he guess that the sweeter he was, the wetter she got? She got both sides of him. Sweet Harry, and the mean Daddy she had slipped up with later. 

“Tastes like you, hm?” The tone shift was so easy, so quick that Y/N’s tummy flipped. “See… m’nice to you, and then you’ve got t’go and be a dirty little thing. Should’ve known to keep my sweet words to when you’re fucked out and limp. Turns you on when I’m sweet to you, doesn’t it?” It was a tease considering Harry knew he couldn’t stop himself from being nice to her. It was what he wanted. 

But right now he felt the mean streak kick back in. 

“Open wider.” He instructed, watching for her to listen, but she didn’t. Instead she sucked over his fingers again, testing his patience. “I told you to open.” One more chance he’d give her. 

Y/N was trying to misbehave. She wanted to see what he’d do. Pushing boundaries. See how he’d handle her. Taking his fingers into her throat, she gagged a little but kept them there as his gaze turned dark, eyes blazing at the misbehavior. This was what she meant by wanting to be a brat. 

She hadn’t expected him to kneel on the bed, taking her hair in his hand while ripping the wet fingers from her mouth. She hadn’t seen the slap coming. Wet fingers smacked over her cheek, shocking her slightly as the sting made her throb. He’d only done this twice before, but the submissive really fucking liked it. A moan left her throat as soon as it pulled away, making him snarl. Again, his fingers swiped against her cheek, making her mouth open a little bit. 

“Fucking brat.” He grit out. “Serves me right for being nice t’you. And to think I was going to be nice to you tonight…” He sighed, shaking his head. “Open that fucking mouth or I’ll force it open.” 

Y/N was tempted to disobey but she wanted to see why he wanted it, so she listened. Tongue out, she fluttered her lashes at him as the grip on her braid stung against her scalp. She hadn’t expected him to lean forward, pursing his lips and spitting right into her mouth. “Don’t swallow. Keep it there- Don’t fucking move.” He ordered, though he didn’t do anything else. He simply stared at her, eyes narrowed as she looked back up at him. This view was perfect in her opinion. She felt small, delicate, like he could throw her around- but so strong and confident like this. It felt like she was capable of anything. 

“Since you want t’call me your Daddy so badly, I think we should take care of that. Acting like a fucking brat, even after I was so nice and let you cum on my fingers in the middle of the week…” Shaking his head, he leaned in again and spit right on the flat of her tongue before using the sucked fingers to spread it over her tongue and down on her chin, letting some drip off her tongue down to her tits. “Now you can swallow.” 

Y/N hadn’t seen this bit yet. There had been peeks of it, little hints, but his demeanor had shifted into something she’d been dying to see. Just like in the hallway, she wanted him to take. Take, take, take until she had given it all to him. “Sorry, Sir.” She whispered, not daring to wipe herself clean. The mess was what she deserved, a filthy badge of honor.

A look of disapproval was shot her way as he used her hair as a leash, leading her to the very edge of the bed. “No, no, no, Darling.” He scolded, shaking his head at the honorific. “Where’s that other name that you called me when begging for my load inside you?” His eyebrow raised. “I liked that one for tonight. Let me hear that.” 

“Sorry, Daddy.” she whispered, wincing as he arched her head back. 

“Yeah, y’should be. Pissed me the fuck off.” At that he could see her shrink a little in her form, making him take a moment to check on her. Softening his voice, he caught her attention and gentled his grip for a moment to give her a chance to give her a beat to say something if need be. “You know how to use your colors. Where are you right now?”

“Green.” She nodded. “I don’t want to really upset you though.” 

“You’re not, sweetheart. You’re alright.” He promised, leaning down to kiss her once before his mask slipped back on. “Now I think…. That we should teach you some manners. Can you handle yourself for a moment? I think I’ve got the solution to get that brattiness out of your system.” 

Y/N nodded,  more than willing to hand over quite literally anything the man had to offer. It was pathetic but she found herself vying for even a tiny bit of his approval. The man had control of her body in ways she’d only dreamt of, so of course she’d hand it over on a silver platter. “What do you want from me, Daddy?” She whispered, watching his eyes as they trailed over her with this smirk that slightly unnerved her. 

“I think… I’ve given your cunt a good amount of attention tonight. It’s time for me to play with your ass.” 

—

Y/N was slightly humiliated as she pressed her cheek to the mattress, Harry’s spit still on her chin as her arms extended back so her hands could spread her ass open for him. He wasn’t even paying attention to her yet, instead looking through the bedside table for whatever it is that he was going to use on her. 

Was she nervous? Of course she was. The only play she’d had with her ass had been on her own accord or when Harry had stuck his thumb in, but the excitement heavily outweighed it. If she could choose anyone to be her first in this, it would be him. Sure, he’d bully her a little because he knew that was what she liked, but he’d take care of her. Harry always took care of her, no matter what. Sex or not. He was slowly overtaking her brain and she found that it was exactly how she liked it. 

“Such pretty holes.” His voice broke her out of her train of thought, heat raising on her cheeks as she could feel his gaze. Completely exposed for him to see, she felt the cool air on her most intimate parts as his warm hand ran over her now clean inner thigh. “You’re already wet. Seems you do like a bit of humiliation, don’t you pet?” It was rhetorical, so she kept her mouth shut. “I’ve been thinking about this since the first time I got a peek at this ass. Did y’know that? It’s fucking gorgeous.” There was no hint of shame in his own tone, speaking as if he was in awe of her. “And here you are, spreading yourself open so I can see the puffy little cunt I just abused and that untouched hole. It’s an honor to be the first to have it.”

He was understating it a lot, at least for now. Satisfaction of being the only man to take her ass was something that fueled his ego tremendously, knowing he would be the single person who got to feel how tight and hot it could be around his prick. His hopes of Y/N deciding to choose him instead were his motivation, as unhealthy as it may be. “Here’s our options- and make no fuckin’ mistake, you’re only getting options because its the first time you’re getting fucked here.” In future scenes he would be deciding and she could color out, or talk to him if she didn’t like it. “We can put a plug in you. Let you sit there with it in, but you’ll have to lay with me for a while and let it stretch you more. Or,” He ran a finger over the little hole, smiling when she jolted again. “Daddy can open you up with fingers, place that vibrator you liked so much on your clit and take you when I feel you’re ready. That one may hurt a bit more going in but… you said you like a bit of pain, yeah?” 

The girl did. Pushing her ass back against his finger, she nodded heavily at the second option. “Second, please. Please I want..  I don’t want to wait a long time, Daddy.” 

“Hm… Do you really think you can handle it, Puppy?” He clicked his tongue, moving his finger away from her ass and down to her swollen clit. “I know you’re a bit of a whore, but you know m’not small. It’s not gonna be easy for that tiny hole to take. May have to force it in a little.” It was incredible to him how she reacted to his words so visibly, making it so fucking easy to read her. Maybe they were just in tune with one another, but the little inhale she made clued him in to just how much she liked that. 

“I can do it. I can, it’ll fit. I promise, I can be good and take it. I can take you cock anywhere, I want it so fucking bad, Daddy.” Her voice shook a little, surprising the dominant as he looked down at the body he was meant to ruin. Again, the surge of possessiveness rose to the surface of his skin and bubbled in his blood. Of course she could take it. Of course his little brat would be willing to do anything he wanted, because she was fucking made for him. 

“Alright, pet.” He feigned a resigned sigh. “Don’t disappoint me then. You’re gonna have t’make sure you can take it then.” Excitement was tingling the base of his spine, his cock fully hard again as he left her in her position to go and grab the toy. The Hitachi needed to be plugged into the outlet, which took a moment to do. 

“Daddy?” Her voice called to him, a bit apprehensive. His heart melted a little as he walked to her, toy in hand. 

“It’s alright, Puppy. Didn’t go anywhere too far. Had to get some supplies.” Laying them out beside her, he swatted her hands away from holding herself open. “You’re going to hold this on your pretty clit for me while I open you up. Do you think you can handle that? Or shall I go and get tape so I can keep it there?”

Shivers went up her spine as she imagined it, being forced to cum over and over again with the vibrations coursing through her body. For now, she thought she could handle it, but it was an increasingly enticing idea. “I can do it, Daddy. I’ll be good, I can handle it.”  Harry let out a noise of doubt that only made her huff. “I can! Why did you make that noise?”

A rough spank was laid right to the bottom of her thigh, making her yelp. “Don’t talk back. I asked a simple question, no need for the dramatics.” His voice was stern, a little mean, and she could feel her poor cunt throbbing at the demeanor he had. There had been something so utterly delicious, she had found out, about a man who could fuck like he hated you but worshipped you in all other aspects. He would cover her body in soft kisses and cooling lotion when they were done and hand feed her fruit, but right now it was seeing the other side of the coin.  “Now, I’m going to start. You ask before you cum, and if I tell you to take it away, you do as I say. Am I understood?” 

“Yes.” Y/N sulked, only to be spanked again. “Why?!” The exclamation made his own sigh even louder. 

“Yes, what?” 

“Yes, Daddy.” Forgetting that had been an accident, but Y/N couldn’t lie and say his strict demeanor didn’t get her going. 

She was relatively calm though her excitement could be felt in her stomach. Her cunt had been fucked thoroughly in the dark hallway, an undeniable excitement lingering in her body when she remembered leaving with her lips swollen and cum dripping down her thigh. The man who thought he owned her had barely given her a second look, while the one who she looked to for comfort had his hand on the small of her back. It still astounded her how much trust she had put into Harry. How quickly they’d clicked, how he was so in tune with her body and her thoughts that sometimes he knew what she was feeling or thinking before she was even aware of it. 

“Fucking brat.” He muttered, placing the toy into her hands and letting her position it accordingly. “Be good for me, or you aren’t getting fucked.”

With that, the toy was switched on by his thumb at the lowest setting, and the fun began. 

Harry’s view was impeccable. It was always a beautiful thing to see a submissive bare themselves to you, but it was even better when that submissive was Y/N. She had already placed so much trust in him, already chosen him a plethora of times and proven her place. The cravings he’d had of her throughout the week had been almost debilitating. Half the time he was tempted to tell her to come over after work and say fuck it all to the weekend arrangement. Have her sit in his foyer with nothing on when he got home, or in his bed. 

Clicking open the cap of the cherry lubricant, he let a bit dribble down and over her hole. It had been something he’d been looking forward to since she had mentioned it to him, but now that he was getting to do it, that he was smearing his fingers to spread the lube over her while he felt the vibrations work through her body, the excitement only kept building. “This is pretty, y’know.” He mumbled. “Made to be fucked. Think all of your holes were. Makes sense that you’re such a filthy whore.” 

Y/N whimpered underneath him, rubbing her face into the duvet. He had considered tying her hair up so she couldn’t move her head, but that was something else he had to look forward to one day. There were so many options for them that his brain was constantly coming up with more plans, new debauchery to put her body through. His cock was scorching under his briefs, his pants tight, but he was far more focused on her. She was doing well so far, but he was waiting for a slip up. There wouldn’t be much grace given until his cock was buried in that tight little hole. 

“If you’d told me that the pretty girl who walked up all shy to be in that cafe would have her cunt dripping from being degraded while I prepared her ass to be fucked, I’d have been shocked. I imagine most people would. You come off as so sweet, demure… Such a good girl. But you’re nothing but a cock thirsty whore.” His hand pulled back to spank the round of her flesh, a mewl leaving her throat as she trembled slightly. “See? Have half a mind to record this. Maybe next time I will. Take a video of your pretty face while my cock splits your ass open, keep it bookmarked on my phone. So many things I want to do to you, my pet, and such little time in the day.” Clicking his tongue, he ran his finger over the pucker of her ass. It clenched around nothing, making him bite back a groan. She was completely and utterly exposed for him, at his mercy. Better yet, this is where she wanted to be. She chose this, came home with him after giving her boyfriend a metaphorical fuck you, and was now handing over her untouched hole with an eagerness he hadn’t seen in many people. 

“If it makes you happy, Daddy.” She said shakily, panting slightly. 

“Exactly. You’d do anything to make Daddy happy.” The dominant crooned, giving little warning as he pushed the tip of her finger into her ass. He could feel her start to shift her hips, so his opposite hand cracked over her hot skin again to cut it out. “Stop being fucking greedy. Barely got a quarter of a finger in there and you’re trying to fuck yourself on it. Pathetic.” 

Y/N apologized wearily, trying her best to keep still as his finger sunk in deeper. The toy’s vibrations against her clit had her feeling on edge already, but the intrusion in her ass was making her eyes water. “Sorry, I’m sorry but it feels good, Daddy. I want more.” 

Harry scoffed in amazement. This little thing had been having vanilla, missionary sex? She’d been subjected to holding back her true wants and for what? She should have always belonged to him. He knew what to do with her. Harry knew how to please her, how to work a body and a mind who craved this sort of stuff. “I know you do, Puppy. Want to thump your little leg and whine for more like a real pet, but you’re going to take whatever the fuck I give you, and you’re going to like it.” 

Of course, because of her begging, he let himself draw it out. 

Two minutes in she had warned she was going to cum, so he demanded she take the toy away for a minute before putting it back on, one setting higher. 5 minutes in and he added another finger, almost sending her into another orgasm. This time he had her hold the toy away for two minutes, repeating the cycle. Fucking the fingers into her tight channel, he could only imagine how good it was going to feel on his cock. 

“M’gonna add the third, and this time I think I’ll be generous and let you cum. You’ve been a good girl.” His voice softened up, putting his clean hand down and switching it to the next setting. “After that we’re going to try.” Harry was plenty aware of the fact that she had taken it like a champ. He’d even prepared her in the past when they spoke of it that he wouldn’t be upset if she needed more to work into it, but Y/N was definitely a go-getter. 

He watched carefully as he slowly worked the third finger in, watching her reactions. He’d been vigilant for her comfort, and while no one took fingers in the arse as a walk in the park the first time, she had done impressively well. Even with the ruined orgasms which he knew pissed her off immensely, she had been so fucking good and he couldn’t wait to reward her for it. “What’s your color, sweet girl?”

“Green- green, so green Daddy.” She slurred. “I’m so close. I-I’m gonna cum so soon.” This was the place he wanted to get her to, the slightly delirious pleasure filled state of mind that would make it all the more easy on her. The lax bodied ease in which she would be able to take his cock with less tenseness. 

“Go on, baby. Make a mess of yourself so you can take my cock in this pretty little hole.”

It seemed like his permission was enough to set her off. He felt her whole body shake, clenching around his fingers with her walls as she let out a wail he hadn’t heard from her before. Thighs trembling, hand accidentally losing grip of the toy and fingers tensing in the air as she backed into his fingers before trying to get away. His unoccupied hand gripped her hip and kept her in place, praising her as his fingers didn’t stop. In and out, he massaged and stretched her open as the orgasm rattled her bones. 

“That’s my best girl. Knew you could do it, little thing.” He cooed, soothing her skin as she stopped trying to escape the feeling. “Poor pussy, s’a lot hm? Daddy made you wait a little bit to cum, but it was worth it.” 

Y/N nodded into the soft fabric, not yet able to find her voice. This time he didn’t scold her, knowing it probably was intense from the mixture of new sensations and edging with quite a powerful toy. Instead he let her work through it, waiting for her to give him a sign. “Puppy? Alright?” 

“M’amazing.” She giggled, slapping her hand around to find the vibrator. “Can I turn it off, please?”

“Course. Go on, pet. It’s just about time for the real fun to start.”

—-

Y/N was boneless under him, tensing only when he slowly pulled fingers out to dribble some more lubricant over her hole. “Need to get it nice n’wet, my pet.” He was careful to describe what he was doing now that they were getting closer to the real thing. “M’gonna get my cock nice and slick too, make it easier to slide in. You’re a snug little thing, need to make sure we get you as comfortable as possible. 

She had no doubt in her mind that he would do that. Harry had never failed in taking care of her, always making sure she had what she needed. Maybe with quite literally anyone else she would be shaking with nervous, but with him it was only a tiny tremor in her hands. His unlubed fingers had stroked her hair away from her face and made her look at him, promising she was okay to continue before he had gotten to this point. His clothes off, his body heat radiating from behind her. “Okay, Daddy.” 

This mindset was newer to her. Everything felt a little fuzzy and a bit like slow motion but she didn’t feel scared. It was comforting. His voice was deep and calm, at least for now, brushing over her skin like a feather. If she could, she would arch into his words like a cat looking for a pet from it’s owner. Perhaps that was because that’s sort of what she felt like. 

“See? When you listen to instructions and don’t act like a brat, you’re so sweet.” He praised. “I’m gonna be a bit meaner to you, but it’s okay because my slutty little puppy quite likes it, I reckon.” 

She did. She did, she did, she did. She liked how pretty his voice was when he degraded her and acted like she was just a hole for him to unload his cum into. If that was what he wanted her to be, she would happily take it all like the overly eager puppy she turned him into. Something about the man and his demeanor, both as a dominant and a man in general, had her wanting to roll over and submit. There were stark differences between how Dom Harry and Regular Harry treated her, but they fell into the most delicious melting pot that she wanted to submerge her whole body in. “I like anything you do to me, Daddy.” She responded like the perfect little pet she was. 

Harry cooed at her, leaning over her body and placing a kiss on her shoulder. “I know. It’s what makes us so fun, isn’t it? I want to do nasty, dirty, horrible things to you… and you want to let me.” 

Y/N keened as she felt the tip of his cock slap a few times over her hole, eyes fluttering shut. It had been a long time in the making, and she wanted to feel him inside of her. In a place no one else had been before. It would be his, in her mind.

“You tell me if it’s too much. Color if you need to. Do you understand me?” 

Y/N nodded, humming to him, but that wasn’t good enough. A tap to her hip made her eyes peel back open to look at him, his eyes narrowed on her. “Words, Y/N. Tell me you understand how to use your colors and you feel safe.” Oooo, the government name.  If this wasn't the first time they were doing this he likely wouldn’t be so heavy on the double and triple checking, but it was a lot for her to take. He was a lot for her to take. 

“I understand, Daddy. I know I’m safe and I know how to use my colors. Please, fuck me now.” 

Harry gave her a warning glare before he exhaled through his nose, muttering about ‘where his good girl had gone’, but took it for now. They were both keyed up and ready to finally do this, and he couldn’t help that. 

It was cool in the room, but she felt hot all over, particularly under the skin, as his cock rubbed over the well lubed hole. 

Her brain’s fuzzy feeling returned as she felt the first bit begin to push in. It wasn’t entirely pleasant, as she knew it probably wouldn’t be, but she wasn’t about to tap out. Taking quick breaths, she was reminded by the dominant to change that. “Deep, slow breaths. You’ll hyperventilate if you keep doing that.” He murmured, rubbing small circles into her hip. 

His eyes were zoned in on the side of her face as he watched her grip the duvet in front of her. Ever so attentive, she knew he would stop if she asked but there was no point in asking that. Even when it hurt a bit, like he was stretching her so far out that she’d split, she didn’t do anything but curl her fingers and toes, making herself breathe through it. Harry was soft with his words, gentle with his touches as she let him sink into her slowly. 

There was no rushing this. Her body felt like molasses the longer he was inside of her,  not bothering to ask how much more was left. She’d done her research before she ever met Harry but even more after the fact about how to get through it. Deep breaths, good prep, communication. All three things she had actively gotten from him. It was now a journey of waiting for her body to stretch and accept. 

“I’m okay.” She whispered, reaching her hand back to his on her hip. “I feel okay. You can keep going.” He had little bits where he would wait a few moments before continuing to push in, but she wanted it over with. It was starting to become more pleasurable as her body adjusted and he was being cautious with her, but she could take it. 

“Okay.” He agreed, flipping over his hand and letting her hold it. 

Harry was trying his best not to take her out of the moment, or to cum himself. It felt stupidly good, the wet heat engulfing him and clenching around as she tried to adjust to the feeling. Was she truly tighter than anyone else he had, or was he just far more attached to her than the rest? It was something he’d need to unpack later while she was asleep in his bed and he could be creepy and look over her, but at the current moment he couldn’t recall another time where he had felt this good being inside of someone else. “M’gonna grind into you a bit, okay?” He warned her, slowly rocking his hips and hearing her gasp at the small movements. 

God, it felt so good. Like a damn vice, her hole gripping him tight as her nails dug into the back of his hand. For a second he was going to ask if she needed a moment, but the broken moan that left her swollen lips clued him into it. It was the complete opposite. “Oh, Puppy… You like how that feels?” 

“Uh-huh.” She nodded, spreading her legs a bit more. “I’m so f-full.” 

The way she said it was going to be ingrained in his wank bank forever. Whiny and shivery, but full of pleasure. Like she couldn’t believe how well she was filled. “You are. Nice n’snug inside this perfect hole. Think I was right about you being made to be fucked. Though… I think it’s mainly by me, yeah? Pretty holes made to be filled by me, cause I fill ‘em so perfectly.” 

“Yeah, Daddy.” She mewled, arching slightly as he pushed in a bit further. “It’s so perfect and I l-love it. It hurts but it feels so good n’I wanna do it again.” 

“Haven’t even finished this one and you’re already planning our next fuck… Really are Daddy’s girl. Addicted to my cock inside of you, jus’ like I’m obsessed with filling you.” She didn’t know just how true those words rang out now. How he had poured over the fact that he liked her far more than he should for an arrangement like this, how he had been so desperate for her that he’d broken his rule -which he never does as a dominant- and made her cum in the bathroom during their lunch because he had wanted to make her feel good so badly that it made him feel borderline insane. 

“I am. I’m Daddy’s girl.” She babbled, pushing back into him. “I can take more. You can- you can fuck me. I can take it, I promise. Green.” The urging made him chuckle to himself because fuck, could she get any more perfect?  Make it any more obvious that she was completely and utterly made for him, saying all the shit he had been hoping she would? 

For once, the dominant couldn’t tell his submissive no. 

He was slow about it at first, listening to her mewl. Filling her up and pulling out shallowly, letting her adjust to the action. The man relished in the feeling of her stretching and clinging to him, greedily trying to keep him inside of her.  It became increasingly hard to keep his composure, but the good news was that Y/N didn’t want him to. 

The slow crescendo gained momentum, the hand she was holding falling down as she tried to move herself onto her hands. While he had been trying to keep it slower for her, it seemed his submissive craved more- fucking herself back onto him with the sweetest whines being punched out of her as she did so. The gall, the audacity of the girl had him laughing under his breath- but he wasn’t going to let it go.

His hand gripped her hair, swiftly pulling it around his fist like a leash and pulling her up onto her knees. “If you want more, you’ll take it like this.” It was reminiscent of their other time he loved to look back on, but his prick was filling a different hole. Teeth descended onto her neck as he picked up the pace, biting down as she squealed his honorific into the air. “Oh, what? Is it too deep? Too much? You want to get greedy and now it’s too much for that slutty hole?” He cooed, the condescending tone making her shiver. “That’s too fucking bad then. You know what to say to get me to stop.” Unless she uttered that word, he knew she could take it. 

Y/N felt lightheaded in the best way. This new sort of pleasure had her dripping all over her thighs, her clit pulsing between her legs as he fucked into her ass. Pounded it, really, in a way she had only dreamed about. Pinpricks on her scalp from the grip on her hair, involuntary noises being punched out of her lungs from the pressure, she was feeling her eyes lull with each thrust. It was only with him, she didn’t have to think about anything but how good she felt. How to please him, how to piss him off, how he would make her cum. The most primal of urges being met, all the while he was focused on her. There was no thought of work infiltrating his brain, or sports, or the distraction of texts or pulling out mid stroke for a phone call- no. In their intimate moments, Harry was just as tuned into her as she was, him. 

“You fuck me so good.” Somewhere along the line, those thoughts had her tearing up. This was the first partner in which she had felt the reciprocated want, the attention she felt she deserved being laid down onto her. Her eyes stung but there was no way to stop it as the tears began to dribble down her cheeks. Something like an emotional release starting as the physical pleasure began to bubble up in her stomach, his hand winding around to the front to circle her slippery clit. “Don’t stop, Daddy. Don’t stop, please don’t ever stop fucking me.” 

The words probably held more weight than she realized, her shuddering voice making him groan into her neck. “As long as you want me, I’ll keep going.” His voice was deep with the pleasure, hoarse as he promised her he wouldn’t stop. “You feel so good, baby. I’ll give you whatever you need. Don’t ever worry.” turning her head, his tongue licked over the salty tear that had fallen down her cheek. “Your holes are mine, aren’t they? Every single one. No one else’s. Only for Daddy to fuck. Took this ass n’now it’s mine.” He himself was losing it a bit at her declaration, finding himself close. “My perfect slut.”

The intensity was high but neither of them wanted to stop. Unspoken words thick in the air as the pleasure filled both of their bodies, leading them towards their ends sooner than they’d want. It was when his fingers filled her pussy and his the heel of his palm smacked against her clit as he fucked her in both holes that she new she couldn’t stop her upcoming orgasm. 

“Yeah- uh-huh, just use me. I’ll be good, I’ll be so, so good for you Daddy. They’re yours, I’m yours. I’m yours, I promise- Oh, fuck.” She sobbed, feeling his fingers quicken on her clit. “I need to cum. I need to cum, Please, please let me. You can keep fucking me, Jus’ let me cum. I’m so good, I’m your good little slut.”

“Y-yeah.” His mouth fell open and the moan was loud and slightly shaky.  “Cum for me. Cum for me, pretty fucking girl, I’m gonna cum in you. Let go, It’s okay- Give it t’me. Give it.” He demanded, his mouth shadowing her own as they inhaled each other’s pants. They were glistening and sticky with sweat, sloppy on the thighs, lips swollen and marked up in the most animalistic way and they’d never been more in tune with their bodies- or each other. 

Y/N couldn’t stop herself as she got permission, his pulsing fingers getting one specific spot inside of her and his cock filling her ass over and over again sending her over the edge. White flashed her vision as she shuddered in his arms, a unfamiliar scream leaving her throat. Gushing around his fingers, she squirted a little stream of liquid down his hand. Both holes clenching, her body unsure if she should push herself closer or pull away, she sobbed out his name. “Harry- Harry, oh my fuck-” 

The combination of many things had led to his own orgasm, but it was particularly his real name that had him pushed to his limits. His own pathetic moan of hers followed, pulling her mouth to his own as he kissed her messily. Each pulse of his balls added another stream of cum inside of her, thighs twitching as he felt some of his strength draining along with his cock. He was in slight disbelief how intense he felt it, his toes feeling damn near numb as he tried to snap back into caretaker mode as he unwound his hand from her hair and slowly leaned her down to lay on the bed. 

“Oh, baby…” He whispered, peppering kisses to her cheeks. “Fuck, sweet girl… what the fuck are you doin’ to me?” A laugh of disbelief left his swollen lips, nudging his nose against hers. Y/N let out a weak noise of acknowledgement, melting right into the bed as he laid on top of her. Doing his best to keep his weight from squishing her, he tried to gain some composure with deep breathing. He’d fallen into a different headspace there, and it had been quite a while since he had done it. Forever, really, for that certain brand of it. It wasn’t just a dominant headspace, but one that felt something for the girl he was inside of. More than what was allowed. At this point though, he didn’t particularly care about the logistics of it. 

There was no way he wasn’t going to make this girl his. Ethics be damned. 

“Angel? Y’alright?” He whispered, getting a grunt from her. “Yeah? I’m gonna have to pull out in a few seconds so I can get the stuff to take care of you. I’ll be slow, and come right back.” It wasn’t like he wanted to go anywhere from her, If he had it his way he’d be inside of her 24/7. But he needed to take proper care of his girl, and aftercare was something he simply wouldn’t skip. 

“No.” She whimpered. “Don’t want you t’go.” The words were muffled together, like her lips weren't working that well, and it made the man smile. She was well and truly fucked out. This time, though, it was mutual. 

“I have to, sweetheart. Don’t want you laying in all this filth. Sticky, aren’t you?” He knew he was. It was worse for her, considering she had been double stuffed with his cum today. Internally, he was very happy about that.

“A little.” She huffed, turning her head and eyeing him. “I don’t wanna move. I don’t think I’ve got bones, Daddy.” The whisper made him smile, knowing that she was still in that space. He’d work her out of it, make sure she was all clean and boneless while feeling safe. 

“You’ve got bones, love. Daddy jus’ fucked you pretty good.” He smoothed the sweaty strands of hair from her face. “Do you need something before I go n’grab the stuff to make you feel like you’ve got bones again?” 

Her face turned a little more, lips puckering out. “Kissy, please.” 

When he’d look back at it later, he would pinpoint that as the moment all the defenses around his heart broke. There was no more denying it. She had him. Hook, line and sinker.  

[luffington]

hiii im the anon from way back when now that ur at whole cake i wanted to spin the block on my sabo request from earlier (of course only if you want to no pressure!)

✧.* art credit!

➤ prompt: can i request a sabo x f!reader who’s a strawhat who joins the revolutionary army alongside robin during the timeskip and immediately hits it off and becomes close friends with him while on baltigo and then reunites with him in dressrosa [fwb trope perhaps?? 👀👀]

➤ pairing: sabo x afab!reader

➤ word count: 2.5k

➤ warnings: dom!sabo, semi-public sex, praise kink, thigh riding, facial, friends with benefits, fluff, fem reader

in episode of sabo he officially entered the colosseum competition but it’s never explained in canon so let’s pretend he somehow snuck in before the final battle hehe

i really hope you like this after waiting for so long!! :') i've only seen him in dressrosa so i'm sorry if this isn't accurate to his character in future arcs! (also if you can't tell i Love koala <3)

NSFW under the break! minors dni thank uuu

Soldiers with guns ready to fire surrounded you the moment you landed on Baltigo. In a panic, you insisted that you weren’t an intruder. You didn’t even know where you were intruding. One moment you were on Sabaody Archipelago and then Bartholomew Kuma touched you and suddenly you were soaring through the air in a giant bubble — and that made them pause. Kuma would never send an enemy to their headquarters. The paw-shaped crater left behind was undeniable proof of your story, and your bounty poster confirmed that you were a Straw Hat Pirate instead of a spy. With no plausible way to get back to your crew, you decided to temporarily join the Revolutionary Army. 

About a week later, Sabo returned from a successful assignment and was enthusiastically welcomed back by everyone at the base. He seemed nice enough, but as the chief of staff, he obviously had more pressing issues to attend to than getting to know a new recruit. He would give you a friendly wave whenever he saw you, but nothing more.

Then the news of Ace’s death came and all of his memories flooded back. He was absolutely heartbroken, but you didn’t want to intrude on such a personal moment for a man you hardly knew, so you decided to leave him alone. Instead, you begged to borrow a ship to find your captain, who must’ve also been suffering terribly. 

As soon as Sabo heard you mention Luffy, he remembered that you were a Straw Hat – and you’d been with them long enough to have met Ace in Alabasta. He quickly latched onto you and you were more than happy to tell him stories about his brothers, as well as your brief encounter with Garp. Robin arrived at Baltigo a few days after Luffy’s appearance in the newspaper and gladly joined your conversations, but slyly gave the two of you lots of alone time.

You liked Sabo more and more each time you talked to him. It didn’t take long to notice his similarities to his family – they all had the same reckless confidence, happy-go-lucky attitudes, and admirable dedication to whatever cause they put their mind to. Even Dragon shared these qualities under his stony exterior (and you realized in horror that you now knew that entire insane family). 

But the blonde was flirty. And touchy. The friendly hugs he gave you grew longer and more intimate; his hands lingered on your shoulders and brushed against your thighs. You were delighted to reciprocate – though you had no romantic feelings for him, he was undeniably gorgeous. Sexual tension between you grew until it exploded with the help of several bottles of cheap sake and a shared hotel room. He pinned you down and fucked you dumb until you were covered in cum and screaming his name. Poor Koala in the neighboring room was traumatized, especially by the sound of your bedframe collapsing.

Sabo became your best friend and your best stress reliever, effortlessly transitioning from casual conversations to shoving his dick down your throat. Being in the Revolutionary Army was incredibly dangerous, of course, but Sabo always made sure you were well-protected and cared for. However, you still had no doubts about returning to the Straw Hats after two years had passed. You were sad to leave your friend, but he promised you’d see each other again. 

You didn’t realize it would be so soon.

Only two weeks after you departed for Sabaody, you found yourself wandering the colorful cobblestone streets of Dressrosa in an admittedly terrible disguise. Separated from your crew and searching for the SMILE Factory despite having no leads. Everything about the country, its citizens, and Law’s supposedly flawless plan felt strange. 

But what caught you off-guard the most was a hooded figure passing by and grabbing your arm, leaning close to your ear, and using a very familiar voice to whisper, “Hey.”

A hint of soft blonde hair peeking out from under the fabric nearly gave you a heart attack. “Sabo?!”

He quickly clamped a gloved hand over your mouth, shutting you up immediately. He brought his face close to yours, whispering in a teasing tone, “Are you trying to blow my cover? Naughty girl.” Your cheeks burned bright red.

Sabo glanced around cautiously, but no one in the streets spared a fleeting glance at the two of you. The majority of Dressrosans were further down the block in a large open plaza, watching the Colosseum match broadcast in real time. The opening ceremony had just finished and the first round was beginning. He didn’t give a shit – he only needed to pay attention to Hack in round two. 

“C’mon, let’s talk somewhere else.” The blonde grabbed your hand and led you down a back alley hidden behind a row of shops. Once you were sufficiently shielded by a stack of wooden storage crates, he pulled down the hood of his brown cloak.

“What the hell are y–” Soft lips slammed against your own as he caged you against the wall, pulling you into a heated kiss and biting your bottom lip. Sabo was as unpretentious as ever, not wasting any time to take what he wanted. Fingers trailing up your thigh in a very obvious way before he grabbed the meat of your ass. 

“Figured it was better than a hug,” he laughed. A beautiful sound that you missed hearing every day. He kissed along your cheek then nipped at your earlobe, causing you to flinch. “You know I’m here to stop Doflamingo’s weapons trade. I don’t have a lot of time, but I needed to see you and make sure you’re doing okay.” 

Sabo paused to run his hand down your chest until it reached your clothed core, palming you through your pants. You whimpered and instinctively bucked into his touch.

“And have a quickie. It’s been too long since I felt this pretty cunt. Don’t know when I’ll get a chance again,” he growled against your neck, using two fingers to stroke the outline of your pussy lips and push the rough fabric tighter against you.

“B-but we’re in the middle of the street…” You glanced at the sunny entrance to the alleyway, heart racing at the thought of someone seeing you. 

“I wouldn’t say the middle,” the blonde chuckled, gesturing to the desolate space around you. “Besides, with everything happening today, I don’t think public indecency is anyone’s biggest concern.”

You bit your lip anxiously, but the feeling of his warm body pressed against yours and his lips moving down your neck overrode all rational thoughts. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t fantasize about him pounding into your cunt every night since you left the Army. Plus, his cloak was large enough to completely shield your bodies from any prying eyes. To any passerby, you would look like a couple engaging in a little too much PDA – not a rare sight in the kingdom of love.

“W-why–” Your breath hitched as he shoved his hands under your top to roughly squeeze your breasts. “Why did Dragon decide to do this operation now? The meeting we had was–” You tried your best to stifle a lewd moan, the soft leather of his gloves not hiding the roughness of his fingers tugging at your nipples. “W-was weeks ago…”

“Can we please not talk about Dragon while I’m trying to fuck you?” Sabo pouted cutely, making you giggle. “We’ll have a real conversation later, I promise. I need my little stress relief toy right now.” He shoved one of his knees between yours, tensed thigh pressing insistently on your cunt. “Grind that cute pussy on my leg. Show me how much she missed me.” His eyes darkened when you immediately complied, letting out cute whimpers at the delicious friction. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”

Loud cheering echoed down the street, likely related to the tournament, and you instinctively turned towards the sound. Sabo gripped your chin and forced you to face him again. 

“Hey. Eyes on me.” You nodded obediently, and he whispered “good girl” before shoving his tongue down your throat. You tangled your fingers in his soft blonde locks, running your thumb over his scarred cheek affectionately. He truly was so handsome.

Deciding your pace was too slow, the blonde grabbed your hip and roughly guided your core back and forth on his thigh. His noticeable bulge strained against the fabric of his elegant cadet gray pants – even undercover, he was as well-dressed as always. “Sabo, please…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you exactly what you want.” He unbuckled his belt and let his cock spring free, bouncing against his stomach and standing proudly at full hardness. Your pants were abruptly yanked down to your knees next. Sabo didn’t miss the chance to take off his glove and swipe a finger through your wet folds, making you shiver. “You’re already dripping.”

“You’re one to talk,” you smirked, playfully running your palm up his length and wiping away the precum beading at the top.  

“Such a fucking tease.” He groaned, pretty eyes darkening. “Lift your leg for me.” 

You kicked your pants off completely and did as you were told. Sabo hooked his hand under your knee, tilting your pelvis towards him for the best angle to fuck into you. Paused to adjust his cloak, making sure you were completely concealed, and looked around for any prying eyes. Once he was satisfied with your relative privacy, he lined up his cock with your entrance, tauntingly tapping the head against your puffy clit.

“Wait, Sabo. Condom.”

“Don’t have any.” He shrugged and your eyes widened. “What? They’re not exactly essential on an espionage mission.”

You frowned, but it was too late to find one now. “Just don’t cum inside, okay?”

“‘Course not.” He chuckled lightheartedly, contrasting with the rough way he thrust his dick inside your cunt, fully sheathing it inside in one go. It stretched out your pussy perfectly, hitting every sensitive spot inside you.

“Oh, fuck,” you whined, throwing your head back, realizing too late how loud you were and quickly covering your own mouth. Sabo’s gaze darkened with lust and a smug sense of pride that he made you cry out like a whore. 

“Weren’t you concerned about being caught?” The blonde snickered, grinding his hips against yours in slow circles. He yanked your hand away, pressed a chaste kiss against your lips, then thrust his removed glove in your mouth. Not caring that it would definitely be soaked in spit by the end. 

Sabo braced one hand on the wall next to your head and fucked you hard and fast, bullying your cunt and smacking his balls against your skin with every thrust. Even without any time pressure, this was how you normally had sex – he was always impatient and greedy to take whatever he wanted, and you were more than willing to give him everything. 

The filthy sound of your wet walls squelching around his cock and his debauched groans filled your ears. You clenched onto his overcoat for stability and buried your face in the crook of his neck, but he tangled his fingers in your hair and yanked your head back. “Eyes on me, remember?”

You nodded, unable to do anything but let out muffled moans around his glove. Eyes glazed over and drool dripped down your chin. Your fucked-out expression went straight to his cock and made him rut into you even faster, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix. Feeling himself getting close, he flicked your clit and rubbed tight circles on the bundle of nerves. He leaned forward to kiss a sensitive spot right under your jaw – you never told him that he couldn’t give you hickies.

“You gonna cum?” A rhetorical question. He could definitely feel how soaked you were around him, how you desperately met his thrusts and sucked his dick in even deeper. Your body would’ve collapsed long ago if he wasn’t there to pin you in place and use you like a fuckdoll. The blonde whispered absolute filth with interludes of praise into your ear to help you to the edge even faster. 

Divine pleasure consumed your body as you hit your peak, cunt tightening around Sabo’s cock and nearly causing him to empty his balls inside of you. He carefully restrained himself to honor your request – and he had a better idea, anyways.

Once the aftershocks of your orgasm had subsided and you descended back to reality, Sabo pulled out of you. His dick was angry red and painfully hard. After removing the sticky glove from your mouth, he commanded, “On your knees.”

Your shaky legs gave out and you sank to the ground, knees hitting the solid stone street hard enough to bruise, but you barely noticed. The blonde positioned his cock in front of your face and rapidly jerked off inches away from you. You opened your mouth obediently and he murmured “fuck” underneath his breath. 

He bit his lip hard enough to bleed when he came seconds later. Thick strings of white painted your face and barely landed in your mouth. You looked up at him with cum on your eyelashes, slightly annoyed but incredibly aroused. “Sorry,” he panted with a grin, and clearly not apologetic at all. “You’re just so goddamn sexy like this.”

You swallowed the drops of cum lucky enough to land in your mouth. Sabo wiped the rest off with his cloak — it was his mess to clean, after all – then pinched your cheek lovingly. He helped you fix your clothes and hair to make sure it didn’t look like you just had rough sex in a random alleyway. 

A muffled Transponder Snail rang in his coat pocket. He looked at you for permission, and you grinned and told him he could answer it. 

“I’ve been trying to reach you!” Koala’s annoyed voice shouted through the Snail. You were obviously too preoccupied to hear any of her previous attempts to call him. “Hack lost to some green-haired weirdo. Can you figure out a way to get inside the Colosseum? We need to find that underground port.”

Sabo quickly handed you the Snail. “Hi, Koala,” you giggled.

“Oh, hey! What are you doing here?” She brightened up immediately at the sound of your voice. There was a small pause as she took a moment to process, then the Snail mimicked her furious expression. “Sabo, what the hell? Really?!”

He laughed loudly. “I couldn’t help myself. But I’ll go now.”

“You better.” Koala grumbled, then said goodbye to you in a much nicer tone. 

The blonde turned to you apologetically, but you just smiled and said, “Go win the Flare-Flare Fruit. You deserve it.” Then gave him a good-luck peck on the cheek, which made his face light up into a giant grin. “And find Luffy while you’re at it!”

After the chaos of the day was over, Sabo met you and the Straw Hats at Kyros’s house, where you were finally able to sit down and chat for a while. Before he left, he repeated his promise that he’d see you again no matter what. 

[bookwormangie]

Harry and Snape’s Clashing Communication Styles

It's interesting to think that Harry and Snape don’t have longer conversations in the series, but when they do, their communication styles are so different that they often clash.

Harry’s way of communicating is practical and straightforward. He tends to break down complex ideas into simpler terms that he can easily understand. This makes sense, given his upbringing in a non-magical world and his tendency to rely more on gut instinct than deep theoretical knowledge. For Harry, things are usually black and white, and his directness shows his desire to cut through the confusion and get straight to the point.

Snape, on the other hand, has a more complex and layered way of speaking. His language is precise and often sarcastic, which reflects not just his intelligence but also his disdain for what he sees as Harry’s lack of subtlety. Snape’s use of imagery and metaphor, especially when he describes consepts, gives his speech a poetic, almost philosophical quality. He takes pleasure in showing off his superior knowledge and uses this as a way to belittle Harry.

We see this clash clearly in OOTP during Harry’s first Occlumency lesson:

Snape looked back at him for a moment and then said contemptuously, “Surely even you could have worked that out by now, Potter? The Dark Lord is highly skilled at Legilimency —” “What’s that? Sir?” “It is the ability to extract feelings and memories from another person’s mind —” “He can read minds?” said Harry quickly, his worst fears confirmed. “You have no subtlety, Potter,” said Snape, his dark eyes glittering. “You do not understand fine distinctions. It is one of the shortcomings that makes you such a lamentable potion-maker.” Snape paused for a moment, apparently to savor the pleasure of insulting Harry, before continuing, “Only Muggles talk of ‘mind reading.’ The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by any invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter . . . or at least, most minds are. . . .” He smirked. Whatever Snape said, Legilimency sounded like mind reading to Harry and he did not like the sound of it at all.

For Harry, when Snape mentions Legilimency, it immediately sounds like “mind reading,” which is a reasonable but overly simple way to understand such a complex concept. His quick jump to this conclusion shows his need to make sense of something that feels threatening, but it also reveals his limited grasp of the deeper nuances.

Snape, however, can’t resist mocking Harry’s lack of subtlety. His response is laced with condescension as he insists on the complexity of the mind and dismisses the idea of “mind reading” as something only muggles would think of. Snape’s explanation is detailed and philosophical, contrasting sharply with Harry’s desire for a straightforward answer.

Another great example of their different communication styles comes in HBP when Snape puts Harry on the spot, asking him to explain the difference between an inferius and a ghost:

“Let us ask Potter how we would tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost.” The whole class looked around at Harry, who hastily tried to recall what Dumbledore had told him the night that they had gone to visit Slughorn. “Er — well — ghosts are transparent —” he said. “Oh, very good,” interrupted Snape, his lip curling. “Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. ‘Ghosts are transparent.’ ” Harry took a deep breath and continued calmly, though his insides were boiling, “Yeah, ghosts are transparent, but Inferi are dead bodies, aren’t they? So they’d be solid —” “A five-year-old could have told us as much,” sneered Snape. “The Inferius is a corpse that has been reanimated by a Dark wizard’s spells. It is not alive, it is merely used like a puppet to do the wizard’s bidding. A ghost, as I trust that you are all aware by now, is the imprint of a departed soul left upon the earth . . . and of course, as Potter so wisely tells us, transparent.” “Well, what Harry said is the most useful if we’re trying to tell them apart!” said Ron. “When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we’re going to be having a shufti to see if it’s solid, aren’t we, we’re not going to be asking, ‘Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?’

Once again, Harry demonstrates his practical and straightforward approach. He gives a simple, clear distinction based on what would be most useful in a real-life situation—whether the entity is solid or transparent. This shows how Harry tends to focus on what’s immediately relevant and actionable, and Ron’s defense of Harry’s answer highlights this practicality. Ron even points out that in a real-world scenario, Harry’s answer is actually the most helpful, contrasting it with Snape’s more academic approach.

Snape, though, dismisses Harry’s answer as too simplistic and mocks him for stating what he sees as the obvious. Snape’s communication is more about the theoretical and precise understanding of magical concepts. He emphasizes the deeper, more complex nature of an Inferius, which, while academically accurate, is less practical in the context that Harry is thinking of. Snape’s disdain shows that he values this deeper, nuanced understanding more than the direct, practical knowledge that Harry offers.

These moments really bring out the deeper divide between Harry and Snape. Harry approaches things with instinct and a straightforward mindset, while Snape is all about nuance, precision, and seeing the layers in everything. Because they see the world so differently, they struggle to communicate, which only adds to the distrust and misunderstanding between them—a tension that echoes throughout the entire series.

[luveline]

need need NEED more hop x reader w el they are the CUTEST

“So she’s coming?” El asks. 

Hopper pushes a glass of orange juice in her direction. “Mm-hm.” 

“And she wants to see me.” 

“Yeah, kid, she wants to see you.” 

Eleven’s hair curls just under her ears. Hopper hadn’t suspected her hair would be curly once it began to grow, but it waves gently, and tighter the longer it becomes. He doesn’t know how to take care of it. He only just taught her how to use shampoo and conditioner without leaving all the suds in. 

She scratches it. “What are you looking at?” 

“Nothing.” He ruffles her hair. “Eat your breakfast. You can get changed when you’re done. You need me to help you find something?” 

“No. I like choosing.” 

Hopper knows. She isn’t good at matching yet, but she’ll get there. 

She eats her breakfast too quickly, doesn’t drink her juice, and doesn’t put her plate in the sink before she goes, but Hopper doesn’t bother getting mad. He’s trying to be less moody. He’s also trying to be understanding; she’s learning to be a normal kid. Most normal kids are slobs. 

“Can we have dessert?” El shouts from her room. 

“You can have a snack later.” 

“Please?” 

“You can have some chips once you get dressed. Are you still hungry, or–?” 

“Snacks,” she says, turning on her radio. 

Hopper nods, laughing to himself when there’s a knock at the door. He’s been waiting to see you all weekend, and he walks to the door with a terrible smugness about him to let you in. 

“Hello,” he says, wedging the creaky frame open with his shoe. 

“Hi, handsome.” You look up into his eyes, fresh-faced like you’ve had a good scrub and dressed for a day in the house in cuffless sweatpants and a hoodie he thinks might be his. “Wow, nice shirt, hotshot. What is that? The Hawkins Police Department fun run of eighty two? That’s vintage.” 

He leans down to kiss you hello. 

“Oh, hi,” you flirt. 

You’re confident when you know you’re loved, he’s found. Still the homespun woman he knew you to be, but affectionate once you’re comfortable. He smiles into your mouth and pulls you tight to his chest, lifting you off of your feet for a millisecond before placing you back down. 

“Where’s my girl?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says. 

“El?” you call. You slide around him to find her but turn back, “Did you ask her about the hugging?” 

“She says it’s fine.” 

“Like, she wants to?” 

It had been a strange conversation. Hopper is used to telling El things, or being told things by her. He didn’t ask her what she likes for breakfast, he just kept guessing until he found the right stuff. She never asked him if she could sit in his side during movies, she just inched closer until he put his arm around her. 

“She wants to,” Hopper says. She’d seemed perturbed by the question, sure, but it ended with her happy little smile through a handful of popcorn. 

“El?” you call again. 

“Kid! Your best friend is here!” Hopper shouts. 

Thunder from her bedroom, a door swung open and slapping the wall. “Y/N?” she asks, the skirt of her dress swinging as she pauses in the doorway. 

You smile and step forward. You’re tentative but excited all the same, laughing as you wrap your arms around her shoulders, and pat her back. “Hi, beautiful.” 

“Where have you been? It’s two weeks.” 

“Yeah? I didn’t mean to not see you for so long, I’m sorry.” 

“Hop says you have lots to do.” 

“There’s a leak in my bathroom,” you take her by the shoulders. “Aw, this is nice. When’d you get this? It’s light and summery.” 

“Hop… from a catalogue.” 

You raise your brows at him, grinning. “That’s nice. How many did you get?” 

“We got five.” 

“Five! From the catalogue!” You hold her hand. “Hop must really like you, huh? Who can blame him?” 

El looks down at your joined hands. Hopper feels his skeptic heart softening. “He likes you, too.” 

“But do we like him?” you joke, letting go of her hand to put your arm behind her back instead. You give Hopper a look. 

“What?” he asks. 

“I was thinking we’d go out for milkshakes?” 

Hopper bites his tongue. El has a birth certificate now, she’s his daughter, she can’t be taken, but going out with her into the world draws stares and derision alike. People can tell she’s abnormal, and he can’t stand that. She doesn’t deserve to be gawked at for talking a little slowly, or messing with stuff she doesn’t understand. 

But he doesn’t want her feeling punished for those things either. 

“Get your jacket, El.” She beams, rushing for her room. “She’s gonna love the jukebox,” Hopper says. 

You meander back into his arms, kissing his stubbly cheek. He pretends to nudge you away.

[sluttysanemi]

Streamer Sanemi would be the type to show you off on stream and when you leave and he text you show the chat your text and how much you love him can you write something about that?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

STREAMING LOVE

c/w: fluff... they're IN LOVE!!

a/n: i might need to slow down w these requests cuz i need to place my full attention on love's serendipity. doesnt mean u shouldnt send them, i love ur ideas!! it jst might take me longer to reply, is all. also a sub sanemi post might be coming soon

Shinazugawa was fairly prominent on Stream. Known for his outbursts throughout his gameplay, his foul mouth quickly recognisable. You hadn't disliked his platform, content that your partner could enjoy himself amongst an extensive following. He had still pleased you as a spouse, creating continuous prompts that you had been cherished.

His public persona had not distracted him from his love for you

You once paid him a visit during his recording. You hung within the background, browsing through your phone idly. 

He was reluctant to draw unwarranted attention that you may not appreciate, so you continue to entertain yourself, a comfortable moment. 

It wasn't until the viewers swiftly grew an interest in the unfamiliar woman lingering in the far distance. They promptly grew insistent, demanding on discovering who this odd, recognisably gorgeous, character had been. 

Sanemi took notice, and smiled widely. A prideful grin.

He points to your direction, growing further spark of your presence within the audience. He announces, “She’s my girlfriend.” He had then paused for a period, glancing at you longingly, before hastily chanting out your name.

You glance upwards, from your phone, and quickly come aware of the atmosphere. Your cheeks heat, and you chuckle shyly. 

Sanemi leads you over, eager to ensure that his viewers receive a strong glimpse of his beloved. 

You maneuver along, taking a prominent seat upon his sturdy thigh. He wraps his arm around your waist, holding you close to him

“Look how fuckin’ pretty she is. Sweetest goddamn girl.” He placed a peck against your cheek. “So beautiful.” He ensured to prolong your embarrassment, as he teasingly caressed across your thigh, consistently pressing his lips to yours. 

His viewers had adored it all.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Later that evening, Sanemi continued to stream, amusing his audience with his thunderous voice. He would not grow distracted. 

Until you had texted him. 

Sanemi had interrupted his game, responding quickly to your notice. He began to beam dorkishly, glancing from the camera to his phone. He shoves the display into the camera’s frame, revealing your recent texts. 

“She’s cookin’ me my favorite tonight.”, he announced proudly. He began to scroll, displaying your conversation, filled with affectionate remarks between you two.

He hastily pulls his phone away, passing it a swift, finishing glance. 

He places it again on the desk and opens his game.

“Love that girl.”, he hummed.

[dantakeyoman]

You Want Your Avatar To Become Fully Na’vi, But Neteyam Is Firmly Against It (SFW / Slight-Angst)

Reader is Fem! Avatar

CW: Angry Neteyam, he means well, he’s just scared :’), reader is in her avatar body during argument, things for the humans of Pandora aren’t doing so great, this was NOT meant to take this long, i dont think this came out well

“Absolutely not! It is out of the question!” Neteyam harshly dismissed, turning his back on you.

“Neteyam, you are only looking at the possible downsides. I-.” “I do not find your death a downside, (y/n),” he cut off, whipping back around in anger.

He could not believe you were suggesting this, knowing how he felt about the subject.

You wanted to make the change, to ask Eywa to bond your human soul with your Na’vi avatar.

But there was no guarantee that the Great Mother would accept this request. 

In fact, it was highly likely that she would deny it, taking you to join her sooner than planned.

Like so many had before you.

“Well, living in my human body is not much different from death, is it?” you huffed, angrily crossing your arms.

“Do not talk like that,” Neteyam glared, pointing a warning finger at you, saying Eywa forbid in his head for good measure.

“It’s true! I am a human, Neteyam! Living on a planet where anything and everything can kill me! My bones aren’t reinforced with carbon like you!” you burst, throwing your hands up in frustration.

“All it takes is one misstep, one wrong move, one place I’m in at the wrong time. And I’m done. Finished.”

“I will protect you, then! But there is no way I can let you go through with this!” Neteyam exclaimed, his eyes having the tiniest flicker of...something.

It was fear.

This conversation was truly frightening him. 

You seemed dead set on this, not budging a single inch even after the screaming match you two had been having for the past hour.

“There is no guarantee that you will survive the transfer.”

“There is no guarantee that you will be there every time I need saving,” you countered, sharply.

“I WILL BE!”

“BUT WHAT IF YOU WON-?!”

“KEHE!” he loudly hissed, silencing you mid-sentence.

You looked at him, blankly. Shocked.

He had never hissed at you before.

“I will not listen to this any longer,” he said darkly, turning around and getting ready to walk out.

You could not let the argument end like this. 

And you knew you had to share with him what you had found out from the scientists.

"There’s been talk, Neteyam,” you started, the Na’vi boy stopping in his tracks.

He was listening.

“I overheard Norm and Max talking about the oxygen tanks that were left over from the first Great War. They said that they can only last for so long. And with no way to replenish them, they’re guessing we only have about a year and a half of air left before it completely runs out.”

Neteyam’s eyes shot wide as he turned around, looking at you nervously.

Fearfully.

“That is why I have been so persistent with this. If I do not make the transfer, I will either be sent back to Earth-.” You paused, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Or I will die.”

The horrible word sent Neteyam’s head spinning, his mind already coming up with images of you laying on the forest ground, gasping for air that was no longer there.

Both options were unbearable.

Your death was obviously out of the question. But going back to Earth? 

He’d never see you again. 

You’d go back to living with your people. And no doubt some human man would try to sweep you off your feet.

The very thought made his blood boil, and his heart burn.

Not you. Not his love.

He didn’t think he could physically function without you by his side.

Who would braid his hair? Who would cuddle him when he was tired? Who would help patch his wounds after battle?

The poor boy was so lost in his imaginary grief, that he didn’t even notice to walk up to him, until you cupped his cheek in your hand.

“Do you see now? The choice is death now, or death later-.” “Please,” Neteyam stopped you, pleadingly, his voice cracking as he rested his forehead on yours.

“Do not speak like that. Do not bring those pictures into my head.”

You sighed, allowing your thumb to caress his cheek as you placed a feather-light kiss on his lips.

“I will not go through it without your blessing, my Neteyam,” you assured, giving him a sad smile.

If Neteyam did not feel comfortable with you making the transition, then you would respect his wishes. 

Neteyam took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a tight hug.

“You promise you will come back to me?” he asked, muffled as he lowered his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

You cheesed, a small chuckle escaping your lips.

“I do not believe Eywa brought us together if she did not plan for me to.”

...

“Tìng mikun ayoheru rutxe, ma Nawma Sa’nok!” Mo’at exclaimed to the People, the Sully family, and the entire clan connected to the Soul Tree.

“Srung si poeru, ma Eywa,” the clan chanted in unison, the bioluminescent ground pulsing on beat.

You, and your avatar body, lay naked at the base of the tree, unconscious as the undergrowth made tsaheylu with the nape of both your necks.

Neteyam kneeled nervously before you, saying his own quiet prayer to Eywa for your good health.

To everyone else, he seemed surprisingly calm about this, as if the whole ceremony didn’t faze him in the slightest.

But on the inside, he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

If you were to die, he didn’t think he could take it.

He wasn’t strong enough.

When he watched the beautiful eyes of your human body shut, it felt as if his heart was being ripped out.

What if that was the last time he could look into them? 

His hands shook as he continued, the only one seeming to notice being his mother.

She knew how she felt.

She was in his exact place at one time. Years ago.

“Pori tireati, munge mì nga,” Mo’at walked over to your human body, shaking her hands above you.

“Srung si poeru, ma Eywa,” the clan chanted in unison.

“ulte tìng ayoer nì’eyng ngeyä ya!” she shifted to your avatar, shaking her hands above her as well.

“Srung si poeru, ma Eywa,” the clan chanted in unison.

“Tivìran po ayoekip,” Mo’at held her hands up to the air.

“Srung si poeru, ma Eywa,” the clan chanted in unison.

“Na Na’viyä hapxì!” she shouted, whipping her hands out to the People.

“Eo Eywa oe’ia. Eo Eywa oe’ia. Eo Eywa oe’ia.”

Mo’at’s eyes rolled in the back of her head as she continued to chant, Neteyam practically sweating bullets.

It’d be quite a funny sight if the stakes weren’t so high.

“Lu hasey!” she shouted, silencing the crowd.

The ceremony was done.

Quickly, Neteyam crouched over you, carefully removing the oxygen mask from your face and placing it next to you.

He leaned down, placing two, gentle kisses on each of your eyelids.

You looked so peaceful.

Moving over to your avatar, he carefully caressed her face, looking down at her so lovingly.

Don’t get him wrong, your human body was beautiful. One of the prettiest he’s ever seen.

But when it came to your avatar.....well....let’s just say your features, and a Na’vi woman’s features, mix very well.

“Please wake up, my love. I am right here. I am waiting for you,” he encouraged, raising your hand to his cheek as he sadly smiled.

He knew passing through the Eye of Eywa was very tiring, but he would be there to cheer you on the whole way.

And just like that, you gasped, your eyes snapping open.

The entire clan went up in uproarious cheers.

This was the first time the transfer had worked in a long time.

“My (y/n)!” Neteyam sighed, relieved as he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

He was at the brink of tears.

He was so, so proud of you.

That’s right. His soon-to-be mate was the one that survived. 

She was a strong, beautiful, and tough woman, Na’vi or not.

“It....worked!” you looked down at yourself, turning over your hands to get a good look at them.

I had truly worked. You were Na’vi now.

And you had seen Eywa.

Oh, she was so gorgeous. Her beauty was divine, and beyond complete comprehension, but she was still soft and kind, like that of a mother.

You would have to tell Neteyam all about it when you got a chance.

Speak of the devil.

“Neteyam!” you squealed as the boy quickly scooped you up bridal style, turning to the clan with a smirk on his face.

“AUAUAUAUAUAUAUAU!” he ululated happily, holding you close as he paraded you down the aisle, his smile nearly blinding you.

You laughed, wrapping our arms around his neck as the people of the clan cheered, some letting out their own shouts of joy.

As you two approached his ikran, you smirked, sitting yourself down on the saddle.

“I told you I would make it back,” you teased, earning a playful eye roll from the warrior as he hopped on behind you.

“I am happy you proved me wrong,” he smirked, turning your chin with his thumb and index, landing a passionate kiss on your lips.

It was the type to leave you breathless when you separated.

Which it did.

As you stared at him, stupidly...lovingly. He smiled, a small chuckle escaping his lips.

“What am I going to do with you?”

...

taglist !!

@vane28282, @remutoast, @p1nkprint, @ladyorchidia, @anthonys-viscountess, @karmz-7319, @cantbuysophialove, @scarabruhs, @an0th3rsss, @deloe18, @mariiyoushi, @av1xar, @alexxcorona113, @may-and-lay, @overlyfancybreakfastfoods, @harshita-hiranyamayi, @qui-02, @myheartfollower, @morks-watermelon, @bangtanxberm

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

Leonardo's First Love—Splinter's Talk

When Leo realized his heart was being divided, he felt afraid. 

His attention had always been captured by his family and his mission—he knew what it was like to love them. But never had he thought his love was going to be snatched up, split, and taken almost wholly by someone of the race that thought they were monsters. 

When Leo noticed the pull towards something else, something new, he pushed himself away. 

He found himself tonight an observer to soft skin, a vulnerable but inviting form that seemed to master existing as is without striving for status-quo. And it was entrancing, desirable; sparked sensations in him he had put under wraps years ago as a teen. Useless instinct. Basic drive. He had more to expect from the world, and expected more, he did…but every night, went back to the same old scenario. Her. 

"Get out of my head," he groaned as he laid up in the quiet lair when he was supposed to be resting, lost in thought. Smooth curves. A small stature against his. Hands, running down—he paused. Somewhere in the middle of a fantasy, he'd heard the words "I love you". That brought him back to the fact that it wasn't just desire. For that there were things he felt embarrassed to indulge in sometimes; but it didn't help anymore. Because those people in the screens, the words on a page of an R-rated book, were not her. Couldn't be, even if he tried. He wanted to know for just a moment what it was like to be human. To have that possibility of love there for the taking. And to never go for it, with all the permission those men had just for being human, he was disgusted. Feeling bitter over that fact sent his mind into overdrive—because he would feel even worse if some man did go for it with her. Like a walking contradiction, he was fighting with himself every step of the way. From she should stay away, to she should be with me. 

He got up to practice some forms. Maybe do maintenance on his flexibility. Sharpen his katanas. Anything to stop thinking and start doing. Somewhere during his steady training, he heard Master Splinter enter. 

"What is the matter, my son?" asked Splinter. He always knew even when his more stoic child Leonardo was troubled. 

"What's the matter? Nothing's the matter. I'm fine," Leo replied, balancing on one leg. "[Y/N] should head home, it's almost time for patrol." 

Splinter sat cross-legged down on a cushion with a slight smile. "So quick to mention [Y/N], even when you're preoccupied," he commented, "I told her she was welcome to stay whenever she liked. To repay for her generosity." That generosity being, stocking their fridge with things they couldn't get a hold of, to help out the heroes of New York. Something along the lines of making sure they were eating right for all they did. 

Leo paused, "What? I'm not quick, I was just saying…Splinter, it's weird having someone around now." 

"Does not have to be 'weird'," Splinter said. Leo felt his black eyes on him even when turned around. He was flustered, still going through the smooth motions of his kata. "Tell me what is really going on, Leonardo. I know you have something on your mind." 

Giving up his rotations, Leo slumped a little as he stepped off of the pedestal, setting his katanas down as he faced his father. "I don't know what's up with me, Master. I just don't get it." 

Splinter gave a knowing hum. Still, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "It seems like you've been quite bothered over [Y/N], my son."

He knew he couldn't hide anything from Splinter. There was no point in deflecting longer; he was only embarrassing himself. Finally, he admitted, "I can't…you know the way it is, Master, it'll never work. She's cool with us, but she's a human. And I'm a mutant." He sat down before his father on a plain mat. 

"Yes, a very beautiful human, too," the old rat mused, gently stroking the longer hairs of his chin. Leo flinched and opened his mouth to switch the focus of the conversation, but Splinter beat him to it. "Surely a woman like that would not ever spend money on, cook for, and give quite undivided attention to such a mutant when he's training. You are correct, my son, it's over." 

Leo's face flushed cold, blood rushing to his cheeks as he listened to his father. "Master Splinter! I'm being serious!" he fussed as he leaned forward onto his palms. "I don't know what to do, I—" 

"—want to stop feeling this way, yes, I know," Splinter finished for him. "Oh, young love." 

It was quiet for more than a moment. Leo's face softened, his blue eyes studying his father's as he gave Leo a look of acknowledgement. He gathered the courage stuck in his gut fluttering about his stomach, mind bouncing between [Y/N] and what his dad was saying. "I made myself stop thinking about love and stuff a long time ago. Mikey's always going on about it. I know Raph wants to be accepted more than anything, and Donnie, he's got his secrets. I'm supposed to be the example. I was supposed to show them we can live and not care. That our lives are worthwhile even without humans being involved. But now…" 

Splinter raised a brow at him. 

"I'm in love," Leo said. "And—and want it so badly." 

Splinter reached forward to place a hand on his shoulder. As soon as [Y/N] had entered their lives, he knew this day was going to come for one of his sons. It was inevitable, he thought. "Welcome to manhood, my son, this was fated to happen at some point. I've only been waiting since she arrived." 

Leo felt exposed. He felt unsure, and that uncertainty was driving him insane. He was always steadfast in his approach. Knowing he was a fish out of water in this situation disarmed him. 

"Master Splinter, what do I do? Tell me." 

Splinter's idle smile left as the tone turned  more serious suddenly, adding to Leo's growing discomfort. "You must understand that having [Y/N] means that your burden will grow. Not only will it be your brothers you will have to protect, but her, as well. It is your job to defend her from anything that could put her in harm's way. She is not built to fight like you. She is vulnerable, and being affiliated to us will only add to the dangers already present in this world. That is what you must come to terms with. But you must not ignore your heart, either." 

Having another body to look after. He contemplated that before answering. When he thought about defending her, it did not feel like an added chore. He wanted to. What was he so strong for if not to also protect the woman he loved? And what he had said before…could she have felt the same way? 

"You've prepared me more than enough to be able to handle another person, Master." 

He wanted nothing more than to hold her. That was something he could not deny. He enjoyed being an observer to a way of life so different from his; femininity, not always being the one taking care of others. He loved his family, but at times, leading was tiring. He wanted to forget about it for just a little bit, maybe lay down, be with someone he didn't have to "manage".

Splinter would have been lying to have said he wasn't surprised at all. But he knew his sons, inside and out—Leonardo had iron will. 

"It is your choice, Leonardo," Splinter said amiably. 

His choice? He wanted to laugh. There almost wasn't a choice. He felt like every road led back to her. It was either face his fears, or stay awake every night plagued with the possibilities of what could be. And he didn't handle fear well. It twisted his stomach and ate him up inside when he felt uncertain, afraid. God, one word is all I need from her. Just one "yes". One touch. One kiss.  He wanted to feel her hands explore his plastron, run along the edge of his shell. Love what made him, him. 

Overcoming the hesitance he felt, he let out a deep breath, committing to a final answer. " I don't know how, but...I want to try. I can't let this go. There has to be a reason all of this happened. If everything that's happened to us up until now has been destiny...I can believe it for this, too. Thank you, master."

Just felt like writing our leader in blue having a talk with his father 😌 Going to make this a little mini series for all the boys!